#not hp | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rabbit-reveries · 2 years

Text

— 𝑷eace

“All these people think love's for show

But I would die for you in secret

The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me

Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?”

It seems hard to believe it now, but there were days before the war when you and Aemond were friends. The best of friends. When was it that he became a Green and you became a Black? you wonder. Against your best judgment and your parents' wishes, you are now lovers in secret.

Day after day, it gets harder and harder to maintain your relationship. You love Aemond, but being with him is betraying your family and yourself. Navigating this conflict and this connection is exhausting. All you've ever wanted was peace. — A story, from how it came to be to how it ended.

Pairing: Aemond x Targaryen!Reader

Tags: Childhood Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Angst, Hurt and Comfort, Multichapter Fic.

Warnings: None in this chapter

Word Count: 2.6k

Chapter 1 : Bloom Later

You remember being a young girl in your grandsire's court; eyes seemed to follow you everywhere you went. It felt like you could not afford to ever make a mistake. You could not. As Rhaenyra Targaryen's eldest child - and a girl, no less - there were whispers about your every move. "There goes she, the 'strong' princess," they would say when they thought you couldn't hear. You would wonder what they'd meant by that but would never find anyone willing to explain. You did not consider yourself particularly strong, much more interested in books and playing in the gardens than roughhousing with the boys and their weapons.

You remember Aemond as a young boy, so bright and shy, used to being cast aside for Aegon to the point he went about as a ghost haunting his own home. You remember how alive he was when you would sit with him in the library and listen to his rambles about old Valyria and dragons, though. He'd chase after you in the Red Keep's halls, and when no one else was around, he'd let you braid and weave flowers through his silver-blonde hair. "White carnations," you'd say, incorporating the blossoms to the do, and he'd nod as if he had any idea of what it meant. Once, his mother caught you alone in the garden maze with white camellia crowns, and you remember he never again allowed you to play with his hair. Alicent hated you and your siblings: you could tell, even at a young age.

You remember your brothers taunting Aemond about being dragon-less. You remember being ten years old when your mother tried to make amends with the Queen by offering to wed you to Aegon, then five and ten. Your only option was to accept such a fate, but you were terrified of the boy and ran crying to your best friend. You remember well how he held your hands and promised you he'd become a great man, an even greater dragon rider, and he'd wed you himself. He'd protect you from his brother, he promised. Copying what he'd read in books, you two used the small dagger he kept attached to the hip to cut your bottom lips and perform a makeshift wedding ceremony in the maze. Orange blossoms and white roses, you remember.

Then, not many days later, dark crimson and marigolds. You were a bastard, you learned, and your true father was dead in a fire, as was your aunt Laena. You were only allowed to grieve publicly for one of them, crying in your mother's lap while she made up stories about you and your aunt being close. The same night of the funeral, orange lily, yellow hyacinth, and so many geraniums.

You were there to see Aemond lose his eye by your brother's hand. The hate in his face when he questioned your lineage; when he held up a rock to attack Jace; when he was down bleeding and found you there, paralyzed. The guards you called tried to help him stand while you did nothing but stare. "I promised you I'd protect you from my brother. Why did you not protect me from yours?" he asked. You didn't know how to answer. You remember Aemond so well, but that moment never fit in with the rest of the puzzle pieces that formed his image in your head. You remember Aemond very well, and he was never the same.

Back to the Red Keep after six years, you catch yourself looking for silver-blonde hair everywhere. Every time you think you might have seen him, you didn't, and when you do see him, he feels like someone else. Aemond is impossibly taller, sharper, and alien. You are right in front of him; he could be anywhere else. You struggle to meet his eye, and it's like you are the ghost this time, haunting a home you don't belong to. He stares at you in silence.

"Aemond, say hello to princess Y/N." Alicent nudges him, stern as you remember.

"Hello, niece."

His tone is mocking and dry of emotion. You feel stupid for expecting some warm welcome from your former best friend after half a decade gone. Did you... Did you perhaps imagine all of your moments together? The afternoons spent reading to him, all the flowers he brought you without knowing the meaning, only because he knew you'd like them... You remember it all, so why now is he like this...? Are you really dead to him? You force yourself to snap out of it and present him with a smile.

Niceties done, your mother makes up an excuse to retire. You give them a sorry grin as if it is truly unfortunate that you have to take your leave of their presence, and Alicent mirrors you the best she can. Both of you know every second of the exchange was torture, but it is the fortune of women to pretend. You used to wonder why but realized it is easier to accept and bear it than to spend your time moaning and questioning. Before you turn to the door, a hand catches your arm, and you half expect it to be Aemond's. Instead, you find Helaena, who lets go of you as if your skin is poison.

"Sorry." she says and bites her lip like she really is "I wondered if we could take a stroll around the garden together. Would you accompany me?"

You sneak a look at Alicent, who stares at her daughter like she's gone mad. You figure that isn't too foreign to Helaena since she doesn't even react to it.

"Yes, of course."

"Thank you." she all but beams and takes your arm.

Helaena is quite different from what you remember, and at the same time, she hasn't changed a thing. She is a year younger than you, barely five and ten, with twin children of her own, and by her big eyes, you can tell she's still very much a child herself. In the gardens, she tells you about different types of bugs and encourages you to hold the insects in your hand. In fear of insulting her, you nod along and swallow your disgust when she places a centipede in your palm.

"Now that I look at it, it isn't so frightening..." you muse.

Helaena seems thrilled to hear. "It's not frightening at all! It's quite fascinating, actually, but not many are willing to appreciate the little things." she says. "I knew you would, though."

You two were good friends once, weren't you? When you were little, you used to play with dolls together, creating all sorts of stories. Sometimes she would gather a handful of bugs, line them up and pretend you two were their Septas. She'd spend hours telling you about insect trivia, and you'd teach her about flowers. White rosebuds and iris. You grin at her and leave the centipede on the leaf of a nearby bush.

"I missed you, you know." she says "Being alone with my brothers... Aemond pays me company sometimes, but he mostly spends his day training and riding Vhagar. Aegon... I thought maybe he'd be kinder to me once we were married, but that's my fault for being foolish."

Your heart aches. You can't begin to imagine how lonely it must have felt. Helaena sent you a raven when you had just gotten to Dragonstone, but you were mad at Aemond and so hurt that you never replied. You reach to take her hand.

"I missed you too."

Helaena looks up at you, smiling. She'd never been missed before. "You did? I did not think you would."

"I did! Dragonstone was nice, and I love my brothers, but I missed having a girlfriend. And I missed you, specifically." it's true. It's a shame you let your anger towards her brother nip your friendship.

The blonde is surprised by your confession, pleasantly so. "I figured you'd miss Aemond since you were always so close... I thought there was no space for me."

"Nonsense." You pull her into a hug, but she doesn't seem very used to it, so you settle for holding her hands. You two continue walking, arm in arm. You really did miss her.

"He missed you too." she says after a moment of silence. You immediately know who she's talking about, although you pretend not to. You say nothing. "The book you left about the language of the flowers, he took it. He must've read it a thousand times."

"It's good that Aemond tried to learn new things." you say, eyes on the birds in the sky.

"He did it because it reminded him of you."

"And yet it seems that he has forgotten. You were there, you saw how he ignored me." You are hurt but try to appear absentminded out of pride. You expected him to hug you and spin you off the ground - or to acknowledge your presence, at the very least.

"He didn't ignore you. He's just bad with emotions." his sister reassures. You remember him having a hard time expressing himself when he was a boy, but he'd always find a way to overcome his limitations somehow when it came to you. "I'm sure if you went to him..."

You shake your head "Absolutely not. He should come to me."

Helaena tries to convince you some more, but you are stubborn. Not much time passes before a servant calls the two of you to supper with the King.

It is your first time seeing your grandsire in a long time. He looks like a feeble whisper of the man you remember. Shaken, you search your mother's hand, but she isn't sitting close to you, and you grab the closet person's instead. With shock, you realize it is Aemond's. He says nothing, and you say nothing. You let go of him, trying to not let it show how his touch burns your skin. Under the table, you flex your hand, trying to get rid of the feeling.

Aegon talks to you briefly, an insulting comment you try hard not to understand. He soon turns his attention to Baela and Rhaena, probably to enrage your brothers. Unfortunately, he's just as you remembered.

Tension is high and rising. Jace gets up from the table causing your heart to speed up, anticipating a fight. Thankfully, the King intervenes and makes a toast, then your mother and the Queen follow. You relax in your chair, thinking you might go to sleep regarding the day to have been peaceful. You only ever wanted peace. Aegon toasts, though you try not to pay attention, and then Helaena.

"To Baela and Rhaena, they will be married soon! It isn't so bad, mostly he just ignores you. Except sometimes when he's drunk. And to Y/N, who will be wed before any of us knows it."

She sits down again, and you send her a quizzical look. What did she mean by that? You were hardly an old maid, and in no hurry to marry.

"Thank you, aunt, for the lovely wishes." you say when it comes to your turn to pay a tribute. "I wish to toast to my grandsire, King Viserys, who kept the realm stable for decades and made his name as The Peaceful. I only wish to be half the ruler you are."

They clap and get back to eating. You notice Jace asking Helaena for a dance, a bit of confusion in your frown. He was never that interested in her, not even when you were children. "Well," you think "as long as it's all in good fun". Turning back to watch them dance, you see they seem to be enjoying themselves. You sigh in relief. All the conflict you were exposed to growing up made your anxiety high in the face of stress. Unfortunately, the same can't be said about other members of your family. Your brothers, for example, seem to have a knack for provoking others.

Half the feast goes by with the cheeriest tone the Targeryans are capable of - meaning you are able to chat with the other ladies, and neither your mother nor your brothers are being threatened or threatening anyone. You look up from your plate to see your grandsire coughing and wailing in pain. In a matter of seconds, the Queen orders the guards to take him to his quarters. She seems worried but not unused to it.

All of a sudden the meal in front of you does not seem so appetizing. You want to excuse yourself, but it'd be rude to leave the table when there is still food being served, and your mother looks like she needs you there more than ever. As the eldest, you feel like you have no place to complain. Sat in front of you, you hear Luke's giggle, and realize a roasted pig has been set on the table, right in front of Aemond. No, not the Pink Dread again. You are so tired. "Fuck." you mutter under your breath.

You think Aemond was only waiting for your cue to get up, his eye set on you as he raises his goblet. He turns to Luke and Jace, a viper ready to strike. "Final tribute. To the health of my niece and nephews: Y/N, Jace, Luke, and Joffrey. Each of them talented, wise... Strong. Let us drain our cups to these four Strong princes and princess."

He drinks, a poisonous grin on his lips. You are insulted, you are betrayed. You expected him to at least keep it civil.

"I dare you to say that again." Jace challenges. From what you know of your brother, he's about ready to throw a punch.

"Why? 'Twas only a compliment."

"You know perfectly well it was not." you accuse, tears of anger in your eyes.

"Do you not think yourself Strong, my lady?" you hear Aemond ask, that grin directed at you. Jace punches him straight in the jaw, and you are sure that if he hadn't, you would. Luke gets up from his seat to help, you think, but Aegon stops him. You, in turn, get up to push him off your brother. A guard grabs you by the waist and lifts you off the ground.

"Get off me!" you squeal, but he only lets you go when you are on the other side of the room, painting and held off from jumping on either of the silver-haired brothers. Aemond says something else, you didn't quite hear it, but it's enough to have you fighting the hold of the guard.

To your surprise, your mother's husband, Daemon, gets involved. "Wait, wait!" he says, and you obey. Your mother then orders you and your siblings to head to your quarters. Alicent's boys are free to do as they please, you see. With the corner of your eye, you catch Helaena crouched in a corner of the dining room.

You go back fuming to your chamber. Gods, all you want is to have peace! Is that so hard? Is it such a sin to be tired of deaths and bloodshed? You begin to tug at the strings holding your dress together, trying to be set free from the heavy fabrics without the help of your handmaiden, when you hear a loud knock on the door. Outside, a vase of forget-me-nots and a note.

You immediately know what it means. Dress half undone and half a mind made to throw the vase out of the window, you bring the items inside. Forget-me-nots, you can't believe it. Does he think he can treat you in whatever way he wants and then send you flowers? You're unsure what to make of the mixed signals. You open the note, if only in hopes of better understanding what is happening. It read:

“Meet me in the maze at the hour of the owl.

- A”

#hotd #hotd x reader #house of the dragon x reader #house of the dragon #aemond x you #aemond x y/n #aemond #aemond targaryen #bunnie writes #not hp

135 notes · View notes