returning to tumblr with the Sacrilege CollectionTM. this collection brought to you from my curiouscat circa march 2021.
anon this calls for a whole fic or at least a thread, but here's a summary of events.
nsfw.ish
atsumu escapes to the bathroom, because he has to. they're in small group, and he can't stop looking at sakusa across the room. sakusa, who is always looking at him too, with taunting black eyes. atsumu's eyes always wander to the silver cross around his neck. how it rests against his pale chest, revealed in by the too-low buttons of his Sunday best.
the door opens while he's in the stall, remembering how to breath and how to tell right from wrong. it's not odd. it's a big church.
he isn't expecting to see sakusa when he leaves the stall, perched on the low window sill. the sun outlines him, makes his fair skin glow and creates a halo of his curls. atsumu thinks he looks like lucifer, like the angel who fell, and finally he understands why eve took a bite.
"You keep looking at me, Miya."
"I don't."
"You do."
atsumu argues, even as sakusa walks him back into the stall. he argues when slender fingers skate over his belt and down the shameful hardness of his cock. he argues, but he kisses back. he argues, but when sakusa drops to his knees and looks up at him with molten eyes and asks can i, atsumu says yes.
he says yes, and it's the closest he's felt to heaven, even if his toes are trembling at the edge of a cloud, and he's sure the fall is coming.
welp.
nsfw.ish
atsumu prays about it that night, and every night following. he gets on his knees beside his bed and tries to banish the image of sakusa just like this, bowed before him with his velvet tongue and serpent lips.
he begs for forgiveness. he recites every prayer drilled into him since childhood, from hail marys to innocent rhymes. it doesn't stop his cock from filling against his thigh. it doesn't stop tears from springing to his eyes, some heady mix of shame and hunger. it doesn't stop him, inevitably, from shoving his hand into his shorts. he strokes himself and thinks of sakusa while still whispering hoarse pleas to a God he has forsaken, and who has abandoned him in his time of need.
it doesn't stop him from seeking out sakusa's black hole eyes at every worship service. those eyes are always on him, and they reflect back the same want burning in his gut.
atsumu has been avoiding sakusa since the incident. he has clung to the youth pastor before and after each service, asking questions and offering to help clean. he's avoided using the restroom or going anywhere he could be alone. even if he can't avoid the way his eyes wander, he can resist temptation.
it's harder when the adults leave. atsumu focuses on stacking chairs and gathering discarded pamphlets, anything to ignore sakusa, who burns in his periphery.
it takes less than ten minutes for a hand to lock around his elbow. his back thunks into the closed door of a small meeting room before he can utter a protest and sakusa is there, caging him in. they aren't touching, but he radiates heat like a furnace, like the surface of the sun, dragging atsumu into his gravity.
he hasn't seen him this close in so long. he had done his best to forget the curve of his lips and the dark curl of his lashes. he looks even better today, in his sunday best, even if the yellow of his soft sweater (soft, atsumu knows, because his hands have curled into the fabric unbidden) contrasts his dark hair and the heat of his eyes.
"Sakusa-"
"You know the story of Peter," he says, and atsumu's stomach turns. "He denied his savior thrice. How many times will you deny me?"
atsumu can't speak. he's shaking, rattling beneath sakusa, who feels like a titan before him. he can't make his muscles clench, his hands won't push against sakusa away, his heart won't stop pounding.
"This is the last time," he rasps.
"We'll see," sakusa says.
sakusa kisses him and it feels like a brand- heart, body, and soul. atsumu can do nothing but pull him closer.
let's keep the easter theme, shall we?
nsfw.
atsumu can hear the other members of the youth group just outside of the door. he can hear his peers wondering where he disappeared to. after all, it's not like him to leave in the middle of an activity. he's always there to direct them, to make sure that the cleaning has been thorough, and to keep the energy light enough that even the reticent teens in their group feel encouraged enough to finish their tasks.
it's not like him to be half-dressed, squirreled away in a private room. it's not like him to have his head thrown back and his lip captured between his teeth while someone - another boy, another member of the church - kisses and nips at his neck, at skin he'd never known was sensitive.
"Don't- leave marks," he whispers, and the breath he's been holding comes out as a pant. one of sakusa's fingers hooks into his tie, yanking it loose enough to unhook the buttons at his collar.
"I won't." sakusa sounds amused and shame burns in his stomach just under the arousal, or maybe as a part of it. "Not where anyone can see."
sakusa's mouth moves down, as promised, biting and sucking hard at the skin of his bared chest and atsumu can barely breath past the shame, not when his cock is throbbing in his best khakis. he can hear someone calling his name now, and his rational mind is screaming at him to stop, to remember who he is, to remember -where- he is.
when he opens his eyes, he can see a painting of Mount Galgotha on the wall, with it's three crosses, and he feels tears prickle at his eyes. then there's a thigh shoved between his leg, providing delicious pressure, and he rasps out, "oh God-"
sakusa stills against him. when he lifts his head, his eyes are bright and his mouth is red, red, red. "What was that?"
"I said-" the tears are still pooling in his eyes and he doesn't know up from down anymore. "Feels good-"
sakusa's mouth curls into a slow smile. "You can call me God if you like. But I'll settle for Kiyoomi." his leg nudges against atsumu again and forces another moan from his throat. "Make yourself feel good, Atsumu. Go on."
atsumu's hips stutter in response and the shame of it is finally enough for tears to fall. sakusa catches them with broad swipes of his thumb and delicate kisses and atsumu ruts against his thigh and whispers his name as a reverent exaltation until the line between Kiyoomi and God disappears entirely.
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Alright which one of y’all is praying for me??? Shit shouldn’t be lining up this perfectly man 😭
I was able to get my Passport in one day, secured an apartment in Bangkok that cost a total of $280 a month including internet and utilities, I was able to test out of almost a THIRD of my degree in less than a month, and the admissions guy told me “well unless we receive your transcripts today, you won’t be able to enroll until July…” Bitch guess who received my transcripts today?
Last year was the worst of my life. I cried daily, stayed in my room, and let myself become a victim to a man who didn’t even deserve to be in my presence. I lost two of the most important people to me in the span of three months, and for a while I didn’t even see life as worth living. From the end of March of this year I have been drowning in good news. I’m closer to my family, I have an amazing support system, an amazing best friend, and everything I wanted to do for a decade has materialized. I have four days before I leave and I’m literally so shocked that things have fallen into place so perfectly.
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Being a fat fetish artist is weird sometimes cuz I truly genuinely want to explore topics related to fatnesss and weight gain that aren't necessarily in a kinky context but rather vent pieces/think pieces I guess? But I always feel like I fundamentally Have to only post it in fat fetish circles because I feel like if a Normie™ found out I have a Silly Goofy Feedism Kink they'll disregard anything I have to say about fatphobia and society cuz I'm like, too cumbrained to have any good takes, I guess xD. I have a thing I've been sitting on for a while that's kind of a "Feedism being the savior from an impending ED" sort of thing but I'm kind of scared to post it given it's so heavy compared to my usual subject matter but also,,, I'm a Feedist Artist with a pretty distinct artstyle I think? So if I post it outside of NSFW circles I might get chased off with pitchforks and shit because I'm not a Normie™, too.
I may be a feedist that is barely 100 pounds and can still fit a size 1 but I'm not like.... Oblivious, lol. It's not lost on me how gaining can negatively affect someone's self esteem, especially in a world that is still viciously fatphobic, and I wanna explore those things in my art cuz I have explored heavier themes in the past, I guess I'll just tag it with like 45 warnings if I do post it ☠️
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