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#none of them had straight vibes
blujaydoodles · 2 years
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@opportunity-strikes​ HI HELLO I’m gonna answer this heeere because I just realized I did a couple of sketches of them way back but never posted them aaahah
Indigo "Skylights" Asterix Pollux Kosjisk Ankabut Fatespinner is my pirate!! Quite awhile back one of my friends mentioned the idea of an all-gnome pirate crew whose ship’s name is comprised of the names of all the ships they’ve successfully raided and/or destroyed, and long story short it ended up being a one-shot and hopefully an ongoing series of one-shots :D
Indigo is the ship’s navigator and lookout; they’re a circle of stars druid, and their star map is a gold false eye etched with constellations, with a Gem of Brightness core that can project the stars outward-- which is, not to brag, the coolest idea I’ve ever had about anything (it’s an admittedly low bar; I’m not a very creative Ideas Guy lmao)
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also their Archer starry form gives them a flintlock that shoots comets, and their Primal Savagery cantrip is flavored as a cutlass that’s formed from an extension of their starlight :D
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#dnd#dungeons and dragons#gnome#druid#character art#heroforge#imagine the treasure map from treasure planet. that's sorta how their eyeball is (they pop it out to do readings and stuff)#in starry form their eye is the only thing that remains solid and opaque and you can see the whole thing floating and shining#I never got an opportunity to blind someone with my eyeball when we played 😭 hopefully next time lol#I default to they/them because I personally prefer consistency but they use any pronouns and their gender is 'none for me thanks'#they're an astrology bitch and constantly saying things like 'the stars predict you're gonna see a bird today'#but they also have like you know... Actual Portents and stuff as class features but they straight-face all of it#so it's hard to tell when they're being serious about astrology and when they're bullshitting you#similarly if you ask what happened to their eye they'll give a different answer every time including 'this IS my real eye?'#also we've talked about doing rotating DMs for Pirate Gnomes but my friend who ran it first had us explore a mysterious ghost ship#which was extremely cool AND we managed to grab her nameplate off her before she sank forever into the depths HELL YEAH#their roll20 bio is just 1) the 'look at the sky-- it's not dark and black and without character' bit from the van gogh ep of doctor who#and 2) the bridge from weird al's 'that's your horoscope for today'#so that's The Vibe lmao#anyway they're cool I like em they've got a handful of features I didn't get to use that I'm excited about in a theoretical future adventure#altho I'd want to better dial in how to actually roleplay them lol their voice and manner of speech was all over the place :'D#my OCs#Indigo
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tabl3 · 1 year
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what do you think of kaziver? or kaz dating oliver and chase (idk ship name 💀)
not something I like/ship. if you ship it, that's your thing, and I don't reprimand/mind :)
just something I won't ever ship, write, or draw
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maplesyrupsainz · 4 months
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙meme | LN4 ˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: lando norris x y/n reader (she/her)
genre: social media au, established relationship
warnings: none rly it's jus fun & fluff
summary: in which you love causing mischief and mayhem and both of your fans eat it up
a/n: i liked this request but had no idea how to rly like execute it in fic at all but i had the idea just to have them being silly on the tl hahah hope that works ok & u guys like it?! sorry if it's shorttt
request!!!: idea!!! omg have you seen that girl on tiktok, i think she goes by dj mandy, and she pretends to be a serious dj and mashups the most random songs with a straight face,,, im picturing landos girlfriend with that type of humour in a fic😭
my masterlist
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twitter ->
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instagram ->
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, yourbff, and 328,871 others
yourusername 🎀🍪
tagged: landonorris
view all 7,193 comments
landonorris ok
landonorris why do you always pick these random pics of me to post like we dont have any nice pics ?
yourusername funnyy
landonorris ur the only one laughing
oscarpiastri not true
danielricciardo i laughed too
carlossainz55 and me
landonorris oh great. her minions are here
user5 i love y/n's aesthetic photo dumps being ruined by lando 💀
user6 nah it adds to the vibes imo
user7 my fav wag
user8 she's soo funny she doesn't care what anyone thinks at all 💀
twitter ->
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instagram ->
landonorris
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 742,921 others
landonorris virtual postcards
tagged: yourusername
view all 11,183 comments
yourusername ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff rufffff
yourusername thts my man thts my man
yourusername awoooo awoo awoo 🌙
carlossainz55 what you doing right now
yourusername howling at the moon. you?
landonorris dont question her carlos
yourusername omg. he's defending my weird behaviour ...... 😊
landonorris well yes. no one else will
carlossainz55 🤨🤨🤨
user12 he is so pretty
user13 omg lol at y/n going feral in the comments 💀
user14 im obsessed with her
user15 my fav couple ever
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, georgerussell63, and 512,872 others
yourusername on tht gang shittt
view all 6,229 comments
landonorris what you on about gang shit for
yourusername isnt it cool
landonorris no not at all
yourusername right well i heard george say it
georgerussell63 liar
yourusername someone british said it
georgerussell63 well it wasnt bloody me
user16 y/n getting bullied in the comments by british men 💀
user17 awww her & lando r so in love even tho they are always bullying eachother
user18 lol she's so funny
user19 as if george russell would ever say something like gang shit 😭
yourbff "gang shit" & there's absolutely no one else in the pics apart from ur bf on a tv
landonorris right? that's what im saying
yourusername ok sorry for using it incorrectly i'll do better next time.
yourusername
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liked by yourbff, alex_albon, and 601,478 others
yourusername on that gang shit for real this time
tagged: yourbff, alex_albon, lilymhe, carlossainz55, landonorris
view all 8,273 comments
landonorris this one i'll allow however why am i last
lilymhe dont take it personally lando
yourusername u deserve it for bullying me about saying gang shit
alex_albon it's true you barely even deserve a spot at all lando
landonorris right well you guys are mean
carlossainz55 hey bestie hey bestie hey bestie hey bestie
landonorris stop harassing my girlfriend
yourusername hey carlos miss you
user20 not carlos spamming hey bestieee
user21 omgg i didnt know she's friends with alex and lily
user22 she's lowkey friends with everyone😭😭
twitter ->
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instagram ->
landonorris
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liked by yourusername, danielricciardo, and 891,013 others
landonorris she's not getting rid of me that easy
tagged: yourusername
view all 14,194 comments
danielricciardo if you guys actually broke up and her first reaction to it was to post taylor swift lyrics with a george russell meme you have every right to be mad
yourusername LOL soo valid
landonorris i wouldn't even be surprised if she did this
danielricciardo me neither
yourusername urm i would never do that
oscarpiastri you sure?
yourusername not you too oscar 😔
user26 AWWW
user27 this is lando's equivalent of a dog pissing on a lamppost
user28 marking his territoryyyyy iktrrr
yourbff aww you love her for real
landonorris well duh have you seen her.
user29 AWWWW soppy lando
yourusername
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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, and 782,755 others
yourusername my life as a (the best) wag & i wouldn't have it any other way
tagged: landonorris
view all 7,572 comments
lilymhe will challenge you for best wag spot
yourusername tbh i'd let you have it
lilymhe awww we can share it 🥰
user30 aww y/n being srs for once
user31 AHH my favs
user32 favs being soppy & cute on main 🥰
user33 y/n is so me. weird & cute!
user34 fr she's just one of the girls
user35 no literally i want her to be my bff
landonorris not you being nice and normal for once
yourusername ruff ruff ruff bark bark bark awoooo awoo awoooo bark bark bark!!!
landonorris right well. nevermind
yourusername I LOVE YOU!!!
landonorris i love you more sweetheart
THE END 🧡
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circeyoru · 2 months
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Darkest Confession = Requested
[Human!Alastor x Serial Killer Enthusiast!Reader]
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Everyone have that one thing that really really sets them apart from the group, right? Some can be way too addicted with coffee that they don’t sleep much cause of it, or some can be so obsessed with ducks that they have a whole collection of it (ahem Lucifer ahem anyways…). Either way, usually it’s harmless
No, not you
You were no police officer or detective, or any career related to crime. You were someone simple working from place to place, always moving. Yet you found yourself engrossed with the art of killing. No, you don’t kill yourself. But you love to read about the people that do, specifically, serial killers
To just have the urge to kill and do it then deal with the consequences. It was like the most extreme of goal making. The thing with serial killers is that they mostly pick random people off the streets and kill for whatever reason they have. One can’t link the killings back to the killer because there was none! Oh, how you eat those stories up like a bedtime story
You somewhat study serial killers and their killings, feeling drawn to them enough that you’d move from place to place. It was your drive and your calling. One you keep quite deep down, you’d let this side of you out from time to time, but you had to control it since some might think you deserve the straight jacket or put in a hospital, or just label you as mental
Close friends and your family knew this side of you and said one day you’d be in deep waters for this interest of yours. They had advised you to stop and just push it away, find something else to think. Maybe a romantic partner that you can settle down with?
Hell no! (like Charlie to Val)
You follow serial killer stories from place to place. As sad that it was to know it after the killings were brought to light because of the slow news outlet, you take what you can. You’d mostly maybe catch a glimpse of the killer, behind bars or during trials
There was a few close calls. You recall yourself impersonating a reporter to interview the killer and your interest in them got them to talk, but you had to left before someone caught on you weren’t a reporter. Another time, a writer hired a helper to talk with a killer on trial, you wrote so much notes that the writer wanted you long term
Still no, you left to follow more serial killers when you could
You heard of a serial killer at large. In New Orleans, City in Louisiana. You heard it over the radio from a rising host that took over the hearts of the people, even outside of his hometown. He detailed the killings, even claiming to have seen a few of the bodies alongside the police so he could offer a clearer picture to the listeners of the horrors the killer can do and wasn’t afraid to show off
A serial killer still free and in society. While the other listeners in the cafe shivered and whispers to each other to be cautious or relief that the killer wasn’t in their town or city, you were planning your next travel
Next stop the New Orleans, hunting ground of the Bayou Serial Killer
Settling down was easy since you had been so custom to it. Like always, you wandered a bit, get the feel of the place and its people, the vibe of the city so you can fit in. Then you visited the place where the bodies were found, information provided by the local newspaper and the radio talkshows
You didn’t know then. That someone was following you after a few of your visits to the body dumping grounds. You certainly didn’t know that chance encounter with the radio host was staged
“I’d like coffee, black!” You heard the familiar voice ring. You didn’t have to look up to know the customers and staff members of the cafe all drawn to the man that ordered at the counter. You rolled your eyes. It was the famous radio host, Alastor, he started frequenting this cafe only recently (when you showed up in town) and would take his morning coffee here before he goes live
If only he was a serial killer or someone close to one… You remember the first time seeing him when he entered the cafe. You wanted to approach him, but he was always eyed by the people that put him on a pestasole. You learned to stay clear of people like that because, there were always some fans crazier than the other. Take yourself as an example, with your obsession and addiction to killers
“May I join you, my dear fellow?” Your eyes quickly scanned the place. Why was it so full today? You didn’t say anything and just gestured to the empty seat opposite to you in your booth. Great, now you had to go to work early because you wanted to avoid him. Wait
“Are you writing your script now?” You blinked at the notepad Alastor started to scribble over, you couldn’t just start by asking ‘are you writing your script on the serial killer? Can I see, please?’. Your keen eyes caught the words ‘serial killer’ and ‘bodies’
Alastor chuckled and said he was merely reorganizing his thoughts so he could envision his radio host as smoothly as possible for the listeners. You blink ‘for the listeners’, again with that. But does he really put others first behind himself? Somehow you didn’t think so
Of course his notes got you to put your attention on him. Alastor had to internally grin. He noticed a new face in town after some time. Then he noticed you going to his dumping grounds. He had thought you were a new detective or police to hunt him down by looking over new evidence. He thought he was right when he saw you noting down the surroundings even with the absence of the body
You were followed carefully to check if you had family and/or friends that would make a fuss of your disappearance. When you had none, he thought you were an easy target. But you weren’t a detective nor a police. Imagine his surprise when he only found you returning home. Never once had you went to the police with that notepad of yours
Odd
So he followed some more. It then that he noticed you had a spark in your eyes whenever serial killers or their killings were mentioned. While other would shiver with the sight of fear in their eyes, you had interest and excitement. So odd, but he didn’t dislike it. It fueled his interest in you
He tried striking conversations with you, but you were so plain and common, one he can brush off as a local polite individual. You fitted in with the commonality that quickly and easily. Though his concern was your disinterest and ignorance to him, he once let his assistant to play a pre-recorded show to see your reactions to his killings reported
There it was. You and that spark of yours with that notepad and pen, writing so furiously like you were possessed. You were more expressive and childish even, swaying from side to side, tapping your feet, drumming your fingers. It was like he witnessed your true self. He confirmed it when the topic changed and like a switch, you were that mundane self of yours
It was all so fasincinating to him and he had to talk to the real you. So he staged this meeting. He was right on the money, you would start off with someone common, then poke at your interest, wanting him to start the topic so you’d be involved. Slowly and with time though, you’d just talk outright with him
It was routine for him, meeting you before his show at that cafe and in their secluded booth you basically marked your own when it was in the morning. He’s review his notes with you and then talk about the (his) killings with you, the newest discoveries, the clues that detectives and polices missed, all that juicy details you’d like
Another problem came. You saw him as a friend. He saw you as a romantic interest
To you, it was rare that you could connect this much with someone. No one back home, not even your closest family members and frends, would indulge with you in this interest of yours. No matter how much you spoke your thoughts on serial killers and their killings, Alastor didn’t push you away and even ask questions on your thoughts. You cared so much for him, as a friend, but he wasn’t your interest
To him, you were now one of his reason to kill more. That bloodlust was on par with the spark you’d have in your eyes when he struck again. Some poor victim died and you only focused on him, the killer! He once compared you to his friend Mimzy, she knew and helped his killings, but she didn’t give him the same joy and bubbly emotions he’d have when talking to you about his kills. It wasn’t the same. So were you the one? The one to his cold dark heart.
And he confessed. More than just his feelings
“My dearest darling, I would be so honoured if you’d agree to allow me the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to officially court you.”
“No.” There was no hesitation in your voice, nor was there a pause. “Sorry, Alastor, I just considered myself married to serial killers. Or at least, this one in your town. I love them no matter what. So I can’t accept your feelings. But I hope we can continue being fr—”
Alastor held onto you, it was just a stroke of luck that this place was the secluded forest he was familiar with. He kneeled down on one knee and kissed your knuckles, his eyes staring straight at you with that crazed look in his eyes and that murderous grin he only let his victims see, “Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Alastor, the Bayou Serial Killer.”
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Note: I had SO MUCH FUN writing for this. Thank you for suggesting this, Any~ (I’ll just call all the anonymous asks this from now on). I would tag the person but this is anonymous request (╯︿╰)
Requests are open, but keep in mind of what I wrote in the Masterlist. I’ll ultimately decide whether or not to write for them. Thanks!
Circe Y.
MASTERLIST
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sugumii · 11 months
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Blade X Reader: Affection
TW: None.
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___________
“Blaaaadeee”
“…”
“Bllaaaaaaddieeeee.”
“…”
“Love of my life.”
“…”
“Darling?”
“…”
“My love?”
“…”
“My lovely amazing lover whom I care for very deeply and cher-“
A gloved hand covered your mouth, stopping you from speaking. Instead, confused muffles came out as the raven haired male eyed you irritably. His dark, wine red eyes stared at you with annoyance. “What?”
You snickered upon hearing his annoyed tone. You just loved pushing your boyfriend’s buttons. Funny enough, even as his s/o he never dropped his tough boy act. He was still the same, cold and aloof, but he did show off his soft side in private sometimes. Dating Blade was certainly not for the light hearted. With a past as dark as his, it was only natural for his heart to have countless walls and remain guarded. Except, he let his guard down a little around you. There were times he’d joke and mumble a quiet, “I love you” but nothing more has occurred. He wasn’t one for displaying affection after all. You slowly removed his hand from your mouth to respond.
“Nothing. Just bored.”
“…” His eyes narrowed and a scowl took form on his face. Bored? Just what the devil was wrong with you? If you’re bored why bother him? Go play games with Silver Wolf or scheme with Kafka. Why bother him?
“So?”
“Soooo… as my boyfriend you have to entertain me! Let’s do something!” You excitedly said, looking up at him with vibrant eyes. You were grinning and looking ecstatic for reasons Blade didn’t understand. He raised an eyebrow at this before speaking. “Go bother Silver Wolf or something. I’m busy.”
You whined and pouted. “Busy doing what? Standing aloof? Come onn don’t push me away. You wouldn’t want to upset your s/o now would you?”
Blade huffed and closed his eyes, seemingly done with your antics. His whole body radiated vibes of annoyance but on the inside he was actually amused and intrigued by you. You looked cute to him, pouting and complaining about wanting to spend time with him. He refrained from smiling and instead remained stoic. “Fine. What do you want to do?”
Your eyes lit up as you internally cheered and replied, “How about we cuddle? We haven’t done that yet and I wanna try cuddling with you! Plus, you look comfy to hug.” Upon saying this, you watched as your boyfriend’s eyes opened with the smallest hint of surprise at your suggestion. Cuddle? With him? Blade wasn’t one for being touched, in fact he despised it. He was never interested in things such as holding hands or cuddling, not even hugs seemed that interesting to him.
He studied your expression for a moment, taking note of your pleading gaze. Maybe… just maybe, he could make an exception for tonight. He sighed and gave in.
“Fine… but don’t get used to this.”
“Yaaay!” You cheered, quickly taking hold of his hand and ushering him to the lounge’s sofa. He flinched at the close contact but didn’t complain, allowing it to happen. You sat down as he followed suit, then scooted closer to him. He remained seated and stared straight ahead into the distance.
“Bladeeee, come on. At least act like you want to.” You huffed, closing the distance between the two of you. You were leaning into his side, looking up at him expectantly. His stoic facade was easily fooling you into thinking he didn’t care, but on the inside his heart raced ever so slightly.
He looked down at you and had the faintest hint of a blush on his face before he slowly wrapped an arm around you. His heart rate quickened at the close contact, especially when you hummed happily and leaned in closer to him. Was this really happening? Him, letting someone get this close to him? Usually he was quick to point his sword to them and threaten them, some even getting struck down immediately… but you. You were his only exception. You were the only one whom he genuinely enjoyed their touch. Maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t so bad.
“Bladeee? Are you blushing?” You teased, watching him seemingly snap out of his thoughts. You poked his cheek as he returned to his emotionless expression and glared at you.
“Huh-?” You yelped as he pulled you in suddenly and leaned down to place a quick kiss on your lips. You blushed furiously, completely not expecting this outcome. Your heart raced, but unknowingly to you not as fast at your boyfriend’s. Blade leaned back and looked straight ahead again, pretending as though nothing had happened leaving you stuck in a daze. He just kissed you… he just kissed you. He just-
You came back to reality as you felt a slight pain on your forehead. You blushed and whined and rubbed at it, looking up at Blade’s face. Before you could question him he smirked and looked proud, almost smug at your reaction. He flicked your forehead once more and pulled you into his side closer.
“Cute.”
______
“Aren’t they just adorable?” Kafka grinned teasingly, snapping a few photos of you and Blade cuddling together. You both had ended up falling asleep together in the lounge. Blade had you glued to his side, pressed firmly yet comfortably against him. His arm remained wrapped around you as you snored softly with your head against his chest. His head rested on yours with a peaceful look on his face. Elio nodded in agreement, a slight smile on his face. Of course he had foreseen this outcome already, but seeing it personally was even cuter.
“They’re quite cute indeed.”
“Kafka, send me those photos when you’re done.” Silver wolf commented, continuing to lie down on another couch with her eyes glued to her gaming device. A lollipop was in her mouth as she casually replied, “I want to upload this to my social media.”
Kafka chuckled and stood back up, putting her phone in her pocket. “Sure, sure… just be sure to give me some credit.” She turned to Elio and nodded her head with a sly smile on her face. “Alright, now that I’ve had my fun it’s time to head to Xianzhou Luofu to fulfill the mission. I’ll see you two later.” She grinned as she made her way to the teleporter. Before she entered, she turned her head back to the two and commented.
“Just be sure those two are awake when we need them. Bladie’s suppose to get captured after all.”
With that she teleports away and leaves the four to themselves in the lounge. Elio turns to leave elsewhere, needing to finish his business while Silver Wolf opens her text messages to see the pictures Kafka sent her of the two. She smiles and saves them, opening her social media.
“They’re cute together… #OTP.”
2K notes · View notes
calliesmemes · 1 month
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EVEN MORE ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF
ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AROUND THE INTERNET, including quotes from Tumblr, Pinterest, TikTok, and X (formerly known as Twitter), for when a muse wants to lighten up the situation at hand.
CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.
SPECIFY muse for multimuses.
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“   It’s sea shanty time once again my fellow bastards of the ocean! ”
“   Partner, I reckon that I ain’t been feeling very yeehaw lately. ”
“   I don’t study; I consult the lore. ”
“   Yeah, I understand women — they all want daggers and swords. It’s all quite simple, really. ”
“   Lord forgive me but I may have to make a nonessential purchase. ”
“   Those are bold words for someone in stabbing range. ”
“   Yes I’m a gatekeeper and a hater. I’m also God’s most favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world. ”
“   My primary motivations are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing. ”
“   Man — if I had a sword, I wouldn’t be worried about shit. ”
“   It’s not blood that runs through these veins but glitter gel pen ink. ”
“   If I was in a Jane Austen novel, I would be the one sent to the seaside for my health. ”
“   Half of me is a hopeless romantic, and the other half of me is … well … an asshole. ”
“   I am the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know. ”
“   I hope I give off the vibe to all animals that I am their ally and their friend. ”
“   I see you’re paying attention to someone who is not me. Why is that? ”
“   Normalize letting me talk without making any sense. ”
“   Don’t care, didn’t ask, plus my psychic visions have predicted the outcome of this encounter. ”
“   I could be so much worse. For example, I could start acting like my father. ”
“   Sorry for acting so strange and irregular; It will happen again. ”
“   i love sitting in my room.....alone....a girl in her cave....scheming and plotting and drinking tea. ”
“   These man made horrors are beyond YOUR comprehension. I get it though. ”
“   I’m a goth girl on the inside. On the outside? A father figure. ”
“   I don’t need to face reality; I’m not just that type of girl. ”
“   DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A frickle-frackle? ”
“   I’m about to cha cha real smooth off a fucking cliff. ”
“   Sorry I told you about my trauma. Do you still think I’m hot? ”
“   My priorities aren’t straight and neither am I. ”
“   I have felt permanently guilty for no reason since I was like eight years old. ”
“   Of course I have a lot of pent up rage, you fool! I’ve been the same height since I was twelve years old! ”
“   I was born for shock value. ”
“   Good morning! God has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem. ”
“   Oh, I slept miserably because I was tormented by terrible visions all night. I hope none of them were prophetic! ”
“   Be the surreal nonsense that you want to see in the world. ”
“   Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot. ”
“   My hobbies include knowing things and being right. ”
“   This is good advice, but don’t tell me what to do. ”
“   I hate the idea of authority. What the fuck is someone being superior to me? Bitch I’m gonna take your kneecaps. ”
“   Stop forgiving my crimes! I worked so hard on those! ”
“   My hobbies? Uhhhh, symbolism mostly. Metaphors and implications and the like. ”
“   I may not have any braincells, but I make up for it by having many heart cells. ”
“   I can’t mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one guys! ”
“   Not all your life decisions have to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value. ”
“   Sometimes I wish I looked more fragile and feminine like a dainty flower, but I do enjoy looking like I hate everyone. ”
“   Any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit. ”
“   girl help there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure. ”
“   BRO, you NEED to stop SUMMONING DEMONS in the FRAT HOUSE. ”
“   I just gave your address to some spiders! ”
“   I disappoint my father as a hobby now. ”
“   I think that the dark circles under my eyes add to my aesthetic actually. ”
“   Good news! I’ve successfully replaced all of my emotions with jokes! ”
“   I have half a braincell left and I’m very scared to use it! ”
“   Listen, son — in this world, it’s either yeet or be yeeted. ”
“   I appreciate the advice, but I think that I’m old enough to make my own bad decisions. ”
“   I’m disappointed in me too. Y’all aren’t special. ”
“   Running from your demons is the best exercise! ”
“   Sorry; I can’t commit any crimes with you. My mom says that I have to study. ”
“   Time flies when you don’t know what the fuck is going on. ”
“   If I run out of tacos, I can no longer maintain my human form. ”
“   Bestie, I don’t think that I can girlboss under these conditions. ”
“   Yeah I’ve had combat training; I can do anxiety attacks! ”
“   Swag is earned, not learned. ”
“   Contrary to popular belief, violence solves a lot. ”
“   I CANNOT STAND YOU ALL so I will SIT DOWN. ”
“   Please God no … I don’t need any more character development right now! ”
“   If you can’t beat ‘em, yeet ‘em. ”
“   Do not put me in a situation. I’m at my limit and I am very tired. ”
“   I may be depressed, but at least I’m not basic. ”
“   It’s MY LIFE and I’ll sabotage it myself, thank you. ”
“   Think twice? Bold of you to assume that I think once. ”
“   At the next inconvenience, I will start biting people. ”
“   Oops I think that I just experienced an emotion. ”
“   Did you know that rats spelled backwards is star? ”
“   One day, I’ll be reincarnated as a pigeon, and I’ll shit on your head. ”
“   On the outside, I’m a baddie — but on the inside, I’m a saddie. ”
“   My grandma bullies me through the Ouija board. ”
“   I’m a cool person if you can just look past my personality. ”
“   Beetles don’t have to do taxes, and I think that is a beautiful way to live. ”
“   I hope that you get your character development arc soon. ”
“   Those are some nice kneecaps … It’d be a shame if someone stole them … ”
“   I’ve wanted to be a trophy wife ever since I was a little boy. ”
“   I’m done being baby; I want POWER ”
“   Wait, “Just Standing There Ominously” doesn’t count as socializing? ”
“   Yes I am smart, and yes, I am stupid. It’s called being flexible. ”
“   I am NOT delusional!!!!! I am OPTIMISTIC! ”
“   I deserve compensation for not being the menace to society that i could be, like i'm skipping out on a lot of fun here. ”
“   Do not ask me if you should or shouldn't do something !!! Before I am a friend I am an enabler !!! ”
“   i am the WORLDS PRETTYIST PINK PRINCESS and im gonna KILL YOU WITH MY HUGE FUCKING HAMMER ”
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1800-fight-me · 6 months
Text
Dark Devotion
Vampire!Aemond Targaryen x Female!Reader
Rating: E (Explicit) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Warnings: Once again, gothic horror romance vibes. The monster gets the girl. Fear, horror, and explicit PiV sex. Slightly non-con as Aemond compels reader, but reader definitely consents (you'll understand when you read it).
Word count: About 5.2k
Synopsis: Running from your old life somehow leads you directly into the arms of a monster, one that shows you pleasures you never could've dreamed of.
Author’s note: I know I have been completely MIA and inconsistent but tbh my life has been incredibly stresseful and I lost all motivation to write for a while. This is the first thing I've written in months that I am genuinely proud of. I even made a whole ass moodboard for it! I truly hope y'all enjoy. Happy Halloween! P.S. Comments will make my entire day and earn you a kiss on the forehead!
I am no longer using a taglist! Instead if you would like to be notified when I post new fics follow my side blog @jo-writes-fanfic and turn your post notifications on!
Aemond Masterlist
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There was a phrase you heard quite a few times in your village as a little girl, ‘the night is dark and full of terrors’. Your mum would always roll her eyes and mumble something about ‘religious fanatics’. You were always inclined to agree with her, that is until this night. 
This night truly was dark and full of terrors. 
Thunder cracked loud enough that your ears rang as rain poured something awful. The harsh droplets pelted at your skin and the sky split in half as a lightning bolt landed merely a stone’s throw before you. 
Your horse neighed in panic loud enough that you could hear him over the bellowing wind as he reared back on his hind legs, causing you to slip and fall off and land directly on your backside in the mud. 
You gasped in shock and did not even have time to call out before your horse bolted away, leaving you drenched and muddy on the forest floor. 
Instead of crying you merely turned your head up towards the sky, embraced the pain of the harsh rain against your cheeks, and screamed at the heavens in frustration. 
You managed to pull yourself up before the mud sucked you in below the surface of the world, adjusted the hood of your cloak once again over your head, and trudged forward. 
Your boots sloshed through the dampened forest floor and you thought that perhaps the naysayers in your village were right. Maybe the gods were punishing you for your promiscuity. 
When you laid with the soldier passing through your village and allowed him to take your maidenhood, you were convinced there would be no consequences. 
You were no one, nothing, and not having your maidenhood intact changed nothing other than the subject the gossipers in town clucked about. 
It seemed it also changed the gods’ vengeance towards you. 
This night was dark and full of terrors, that much you could sense as fear shot down your spine. 
You increased your pace, fearing the creatures that could be lurking in the woods, desperate for some sort of shelter. The feeling of eyes watching you from time to time during your journey became steady and unceasing. You felt uneasy, the hair on the back of your neck stood straight up, and you knew it had nothing to do with the cold in the air. 
Eventually you had no other choice but to ignore the feeling, having looked behind and around you dozens of times in search of your stalker to no avail.
You trudged along for what felt like hours, not once finding anything that could serve as a temporary shelter. That was, until you somehow stumbled upon a near debilitated castle. 
As it came into view, you shuddered at the feeling the crumbling building invoked in you, but any shelter was better than none at this point. 
Stone walls with vines nearly overtaking them towered over you as you rushed forward towards the large wooden doors. You looked up and thought you saw a pair of gemstone blue eyes glowing in the dark from a window at the top of the tower, but you blinked and they were gone. 
You shook your head, sure your tired eyes were playing tricks on you, and reached for the handle of the door. 
You took a shuddering breath and pulled the heavy door open. Shock filled your very being as you were overcome with warmth and light. 
While the outside of the building was shabby, the inside was magnificent. It was well kept and well lit. A home fit for a king, with a grand staircase was directly in front of you and an elderly man in a servant’s outfit was walking down it.
“Young lady! Who are you and how dare you come into this home uninvited?” the man chided as he descended the last of the steps and stood before you. 
“I-I’m so sorry, sir. I didn’t know anyone lived here, I was merely searching for shelter from the awful storm,” you said, eyes wide- portraying how stunned you felt. 
The man’s stern facade crumbled and he smiled warmly at you, you let go of your held breath and managed a small smile back at him. 
“Ah, yes, I tend to forget the master’s illusion on the outside of the building. He does it to keep the unwanted away,” he said. 
“Illusion? Like magic?” you asked. 
“Well, yes, of course. Come in, let’s get you out of the cold. You must be miserable,” the man said as he ushered you inside and closed the door behind you. 
“Alfred,” you heard the voice of a man call out from another room. His voice caused a shiver to go down your spine. 
“Yes, sire,” Alfred, the man before you replied, and the man with the shiver-inducing voice came into view as he rounded the corner and came into the entryway where you stood. 
Your breath caught once again as you saw the most striking and beautiful man you’d ever seen in your life. 
He was tall, nearly impossibly so, with long silver hair that fell nearly to his waist. He moved with the grace and control of a lethal killer. His facial features were sharp, as if he was cut from marble. His skin of pale white only emphasized his most distinct feature, an eye of sapphire that covered part of a scar that cut across his forehead and cheek. His remaining true eye was also a distinct blue color, nearly matching the sapphire one perfectly.  
Ethereal was the word that arose in your mind as he strode towards you, amusement twinkling in his eye as he took you in. 
“And who might you be, lovely?” he asked. 
After entirely too long of a pause, in which his amusement appeared to only grow as his beautiful lips curved into a smirk, you managed to stutter out your name. 
He repeated it back to you, leaning closer towards you, and your heartbeat sped into a gallop. He titled his head, almost as if he could hear it. You dismissed the thought, deeming it absurd. 
“My name is Aemond. Welcome to my home. Tell me, how exactly did you manage to find your way here?” he asked curiously. 
You leaned in closer with him, not realizing that your face was merely inches from his at this point, utterly drawn in and intoxicated by his presence. 
You were filled with a desire to please him and as a result you began rambling. “I was attempting to move away from my village. Take off and find a new life, but then there was a series of unfortunate events including running for my life, becoming irretrievably lost, and then becoming something I’m certain looks similar to a drowned rat after my horse was startled by the storm and I stumbled around for hours attempting to find shelter.” 
“Oh you poor sweet thing. Let us take care of you,” he purred and rather than set you at ease, something in the words made you feel as if your misadventures were far from over. And yet, you were entranced by his gaze and could not so much as force yourself to look away or take a step back. 
His smile grew wider as you nodded meekly. 
Finally, Aemond released you from his gaze as he turned to Alfred and asked him to fetch the maid Portia to assist you in cleaning yourself up. 
Before you knew it, you were being ushered up the stairs and into a room you could only assume was a guest room by an elderly woman with a sweet round face. 
She helped you to remove your muddy sodden clothes and you groaned in relief as you slid into a warm bath. You smiled warmly at her as you scrubbed your body and she cleaned your hair, all the while chattering to you about her love for her husband Alfred and their happiness working for Master Aemond. 
“Can you tell me about him?” you asked curiously as she helped you to dress. 
The dress she helped you into was of crushed velvet, sapphire blue like the gemstone in Aemond’s eye that had so caught your attention. The dress had a corset and plunging neckline that emphasized your curves. 
Portia hummed as she led you to sit down and began working on your hair. 
“He is a bit odd, yes. Intimidating and perhaps even scary to some, but he has a good heart. And is loyal and protective to those he cares for. He has treated my husband and I very kindly,” she said with a caring smile. 
Her words put your heart more at ease, still slightly worried about the new surprising circumstances you had found yourself in. 
“Does he typically extend that same kindness to visitors?” you asked, nervousness coloring your tone a bit. 
“It depends on the intentions of the visitor. A sweet thing like you? You’ll be well taken care of,” she said. 
“Does he often have ill-intentioned visitors?” you asked curiously. 
“It does happen from time to time, those in the nearest village hold hate for him in their hearts. Old prejudices I suppose, but no matter!” she said, changing the subject and her tone as she turned you around to view yourself in the floor length mirror. 
“Take a look at yourself, my dear. You look stunning, see? All the horror of the day washed completely away,” she said soothingly as she ran her hands up and down your upper arms. 
Your breath caught in your throat as you saw yourself. She was right, you’d never seen yourself look so beautiful before. You actually looked fit to reside in such a lovely home, unlike before, unlike any other time in your life. You’d never worn such a beautiful and expensive dress. You ran your hands across the soft fabric, up your torso and thought that it was the perfect inviting dress for someone else to touch you in. 
Images flashed in your head of the soldier you allowed to touch you, never while you wore something so pretty, but pleasurable nonetheless. Romps in the hay, literally as the two of you would often meet in your father’s barn and he taught you the art of a pleasure you’d never known before. 
You were not disillusioned about it, you knew there was no love between the two of you. You knew he would one day have to move on without you, but when he left town just as others found out about your affair, you were frustrated at being left alone with the consequences of a choice the both of you made. 
The townspeople, the people you grew up with, turned on you and called you a whore. Even your own father fell victim to their hateful whispers about you and kicked you out of his home. Only your mother helped you, sneaking you out in the dead of night and gifting you her horse to aid you on your journey into another life. 
You shook your head slightly in an attempt to clear those thoughts, the memories of both pleasure and pain, and smiled at your reflection. 
“Thank you, Portia, your efforts are greatly appreciated,” you said as you turned and embraced her in a warm hug. 
She squeezed you before releasing you and leading you out of the guest room and back down the grand staircase. 
You followed her into an elegant dining room, a fireplace lit - the fire crackling and warming the spacious room. The table was large enough to seat ten people, but only two place settings were set next to one another, somehow creating an intimate dinner even in such a large room. 
Aemond sat at the end of the table, and stood as he saw you. 
“Good evening, you look magnificent,” he said, voice as velvety as your dress. 
You did your best to hide how his words flustered you as you smiled softly and curtseyed. 
“Thank you, sire. But, this is too much. I did not mean to interrupt your your evening so and I-I’ll never be able to repay you-” 
He reached a hand out and you placed your hand in his. At the brush of your skin against his, your words fell off. 
His hands were cold, and yet- the mere brush of his fingers against yours filled your body with heat. 
“There is no repayment necessary, the pleasure of your company will be more than enough if you would please dine with me,” he said. 
“Of course,” you breathed out as you allowed him to guide you to your seat. 
Your nose was filled with the aroma of a hearty stew in a bowl before you and your stomach growled in anticipation. 
You gave Aemond a sheepish look even as he chuckled. 
“Eat, of course. You must be near ravenous. I’m familiar with the feeling,” he said, and his voice dipped lower. His eyes appeared to flash at his words, causing your heartbeat to jump, but you were far too hungry to think about it and played it off as a trick of the light, a reflection of the fire in his gemstone eye. 
You tucked in and struggled to hold in your groan of satisfaction at the taste of the soup. 
Aemond poured you both glasses of red wine and you thanked him as he handed you yours. 
“Are you not going to eat?” you asked him, suddenly feeling self conscious that you were shoveling mouthfuls of stew and bread into your mouth while he merely sipped on his wine and watched you. 
“Oh I intend to. Just not right now, I had what you might call a late afternoon snack,” he said and something about his words had a chill run up your spine, despite the warmth of both the room and the soup in your belly. 
“You told me of your journey here, but tell me about yourself. I find myself fascinated by the entirety of you,” he practically purred, and you immediately forgot your apprehension at his previous words. 
“I feel the same way about you,” you replied breathily. 
He smiled, a full glorious smile that made you feel as if the storm had ended and the sun had come out. But there was a glint, a sharpness, and with a start you realized his canine teeth were elongated. 
He must have seen the fear in your eyes as he reached over and grasped your hand gently. You felt that on fire feeling in your skin once again, but also felt all the fear wash out of your body. 
“Tell me about you,” he requested again, voice soft and low, a tone that caused you to wonder if that was how he spoke to his lovers late at night. 
You were filled with compliance, with a desire to please him, and so you did as you were asked, and told him everything about yourself. You told him of your childhood, your parents, your likes and interests, your dreams for a better life. 
He watched you with rapt attention, murmuring questions to prompt you to further share with him about yourself. And, oh gods, when he looked at you that way, his sapphire gaze so intense, you wanted to share yourself completely. 
“What had you so desperately searching for a new life?” he finally asked. 
So you explained, shamefully, how you laid with a man and became the village whore for merely choosing your own pleasure over mediocrity for once in your life. 
You looked down at your empty bowl, toying with the spoon, while you waited for his reaction, for his disgust and dismissal of you. 
Long cold fingers gently grasped your chin and lifted your head up to meet his gaze. 
You were enraptured by his undivided attention. 
“There’s no need to listen to the opinions of small minded individuals. Pleasure is nothing to feel guilty about. Especially when there are so, so many pleasures in life to discover,” he said and the soft lilt of his voice along with the dark tone made your toes curl. 
You wanted to experience unknown pleasures, you wanted him to teach you, to explore with you. 
You bit your lip, nodding slightly in agreement, and his hand slid up from your chin to curl around your jaw. His thumb stroked the apple of your cheek and you shivered. 
He pulled your bottom lip from between your teeth and you waited, nearly shaking with anticipation, for him to press his lips against your own, to replace the pressure with some of his own, and he smirked as if he knew what you were thinking, but pulled back. 
He sat back in his chair, far enough from you that you no longer felt intoxicated by his scent and presence, and you let out a soft breath of disappointment. 
Amusement and desire both seemed to dance in his gaze. You took a sip of wine, looking away from him to clear your head, and took a breath to steady yourself. 
“Will you tell me about yourself as well, sire?” you asked. 
“Aemond,” he corrected. “Please call me Aemond, sweet one.” 
“Aemond, I’d love to hear about you,” you requested once more. 
It seemed he had the same response to hearing his name drip from your lips as you had when he said yours, for his eyelid fluttered closed and his hand clenched into a fist, but the next breath he had composed himself once more and nodded. 
“My life… it feels as if it has been an eternity. A lonely one at that,” he said and this time you reached over and took his hand, holding it in support. 
“I was treated as if I were unwanted from the moment I was born, my eye taken hatefully when I was merely a boy, and then as a man I was deemed a monster. I was driven out of my home, my family did naught to protect me, and it took me far too long to find a place to call my own. Still, others that encounter me call me a monster and I find myself alone most of the time,” he explained and your heart hurt for him. 
“Why do others call you a monster? Your gemstone eye?” you asked as you leaned closer to him once again. 
This time you leaned in and placed your hand on his face, tracing the length of his scar with your thumb as you gently held his cheek. 
“Hmmm,” he hummed in a noncommittal sort of agreement. 
“I think it’s beautiful,” you said, your voice so soft it was practically a whisper. 
It was evident he heard you as he practically nuzzled his face into your hand. He gripped your wrist and ran his nose from the palm of your hand to the inside of your wrist, breathing in deeply. 
His actions, though gentle and loving, caused an inexplicable feeling of fear to drip down your spine, particularly when his lips pressed against your skin. You’d never realized what a vulnerable place in the body the wrist was, a bundle of veins, until Aemond pressed his perfectly curved lips against it. 
But as soon as it came, the fear was gone as Aemond looked up at you and you met his gaze once more. 
You reached out and pushed his silver hair out of his face where it had fallen and tucked it behind his ear. 
His long gorgeous hair was so soft you yearned to run your fingers through it and learn of his response, learn of the noises he would make when in pleasure. 
“You are so beautiful,” he murmured, appearing as entranced by you as you were by him. 
You could do nothing to hide the way his words flustered you, as the weight of his attention had you pinned down and unable to move. 
He caught your hand and held it in place against his hair. 
As he leaned closer to you, his movements were slow and deliberate, like a predator trying not to spook his prey. 
Your heart began to sprint and you were certain you would never be able to slow it again. 
His sharp nose brushed against yours, and the anticipation was so strong you forgot how to breathe. 
Aemond hummed softly before he finally, finally pressed his lips to yours. 
As his lips moved against yours you felt inherently changed, different. It felt as if a shadowed hand with sharp talons dripping with blood had reached through your chest and gripped your heart and claimed it. 
You were his, his, and you were prepared to swear to him your utter devotion, your life. You didn’t quite understand what you were experiencing, but you didn’t care as he deepened the kiss. As he claimed your mouth you gasped, letting out a small whimper. This gave him the in he needed to slide his tongue against yours. 
You shuddered, gripping his hair tighter as he lifted you with an ease that should not be possible and sat you atop his lap. 
Your dress prevented you from straddling him like you wished, but you could not complain as he gripped your waist tightly. You ran your hands from his face and his hair to his shoulders, down to his arms, gripping him tightly and kissing him deeply, with everything you had, with utter devotion. 
You let out a small yelp of surprise as your tongue explored his mouth and brushed against something entirely too sharp. 
He tore his lips from yours and met your gaze. Your chest brushed against his as it heaved while you attempted to catch your breath. 
Fangs, you recognized. Those were fangs in his mouth, made for sinking his teeth in. 
You could not discern how you felt, what you thought, for the utter fire for him burned through you. 
He traced your jaw, then the line of your neck down to your collarbone, slowly, achingly slowly as you wanted nothing more than for him to kiss you again. Then, his lips followed the same journey his fingers had just taken. You shivered, your head falling back as your eyes fluttered shut. 
“Tell me you are mine,” Aemond ordered, and his breath against the sensitive skin of your neck made you shiver. 
“I’m yours,” you replied breathily and you could feel his smile against your throat. 
“Tell me you want me,” he ordered. 
“I want you,” you whined, and his grip on you tightened nearly to the point of pain, but you could not focus on that. No, not when you felt those fangs graze against that most sensitive spot on your neck. 
The night is dark and full of terrors, the words rang through your head once more and your breath stopped as you realized you had fallen into this beautiful monster’s trap. Fear shot down your spine and made your body tense and freeze. 
“Hmm,” he hummed in reassurance as he pressed a kiss against your vulnerability. 
Your body responded immediately, you relaxed completely, becoming nearly ragdoll like in his arms. He lifted you, holding you as he stood, and walked into the next room, a sitting room of sorts, and laid you on a chaise. 
“Aemond,” you breathed out. 
He kneeled next to where you laid. 
“I care for you,” he said as he brushed a hand across your cheek, “I don’t wish to compel you.” 
He kissed you once more. At the feeling of his lips against yours, you were reborn. You had control over your body once again and you yanked him atop of you, deepening the kiss. 
He groaned into your mouth, and pulled back slightly, causing you to whine in protest. 
“You truly want me?” he asked, his tone sounding surprised. 
Your survival instinct had long since gone quiet as a result of you continuously ignoring its protests. 
“Yes,” you said and pulled his lips to yours again. 
“Perhaps we can make a deal then,” he said, trailing his lips down once more to his favorite spot on your neck, where your veins were most vulnerable.
“If you give me what I want, I will reward you with everything you desire and more,” he said and you again felt the sharpness of those fangs. 
You let out a shuddering breath. 
“Yes,” you agreed, all logic disappearing as desire overtook your very being. 
And you knew. You knew and he knew, that his compelling magic was gone, the desire you felt for him this entire time was real and true, not due to compelling whatsoever. There was something more, something deeper at play here, and your choice was your own as you chose him, completely. 
And with that, he groaned lowly and sank his fangs into your neck.  
Sharp indescribable pain is what you expected but instead it was like a dull buzz of pain nearly overwhelmed by pleasure. 
He ran his hands down your body, ensuring he paid special attention to your breasts and you gasped his name. 
Aemond’s hand slipped up your dress, inching up your burning hot skin, and finding the wetness between your legs that awaited him. 
You whimpered softly as he brushed your panties aside and finally touched you where you wanted him the most. 
His nimble fingers spread your slick and quickly found a rhythm circling your bundle of nerves as he continued to drink your blood. 
As the heat inside you built, he pulled his teeth from your neck and slowly dragged his tongue up your neck, licking up every last drop of blood from your skin. His fingers moved in perfect time with his tongue, and with no notice your release hit you, overwhelming you completely as you moaned loud enough to echo through the room. 
“Absolutely exquisite,” he said as he pulled back from your neck and looked deep into your eyes. 
He ran his thumb over your bottom lip, and you stared at him as your chest heaved, absolutely entranced. He then replaced his thumb with his bloodsoaked lips. 
He groaned as you kissed him eagerly, your blood in his mouth not causing any hesitation whatsoever. 
“I need you,” you gasped. 
“I have needed you for an eternity,” he replied as he began untying the corset of your dress. 
You moaned as the cool air hit your skin and he slowly and gently removed the beautiful dress from your body, leaving you completely bare. You turned and looked at the pile of sapphire velvet on the floor. 
He gripped your chin, turning your head to look at him once more. You helped him to remove his shirt, and then watched eagerly as he unbuckled his belt, beginning to make himself just as bare as you. 
“I must admit something to you,” he said and your mouth ran dry as the hard length of him sprung free. 
“Yes,” you asked breathlessly as you reached and wrapped your hand around him. 
He let out a sound low in his throat, something similar to a growl, as you began to move your hand up and down his length. 
“It is not happenstance that you found yourself in my home. I must confess that I have been watching you for a while now. I needed you. I needed to taste you, to make you mine. I influenced your journey here, guided you, so I could finally show you my devotion,” he said. 
“Then make me yours, completely,” you pleaded and guided his length to line up with your wet heat. 
With a groan he nodded his head and pushed himself inside you. 
He filled you, inch by glorious inch, and you could do nothing but gasp for air as you felt fuller than you’d ever felt in your life. 
You reveled in the press of your naked chest against his, as you pulled him close enough that you couldn’t tell where your body ended and where his began.
You were one with the vampire atop you, and you’d never felt more intense pleasure in your life. 
When he was certain you were ready, he kissed you, surprisingly tenderly, before he pulled out nearly all the way, and pushed back inside you, sinking to the hilt. 
His tempo was slow and deep, as he gazed deep in your eyes and told you how beautiful he found you. 
“Perfect, so perfect,” he praised as you mewled for him when he tilted your hips up and hit a spot of pleasure inside you that had never been found before. 
Aemond continued his pace, holding you tight, as your nails dug into his back. 
“Come for me, darling, I can feel how close you are,” he purred in your ear. 
He slipped his hand between your bodies and found your bundle of nerves once more, stroking it and you nearly screamed as your release wracked through you. 
You felt you had reached heaven, somehow, in the arms of your ethereally beautiful monster lover and it took you several moments to come back down. 
So lost in your pleasure, you had not even felt a sting of pain as he sunk his teeth into your wrist. He gulped your blood, moaning in pleasure, as he continued to pump himself in and out of your tight wet heat, chasing his own release. 
You tangled your other hand in his hair, and gripped tighter around his cock, urging him on, encouraging both his release and for him to continue to drink from you. 
He groaned as his release found him, sinking deep inside you, bringing ecstasy to you both. 
You shuddered a breath as his movements slowed and stopped. He pulled his teeth from your wrist, and murmured your name, like a praise- like a prayer, with utter devotion. 
As he looked at you, you reached up and wiped your blood from where it had dripped down his chin. 
He brought your wrist to his lips once more, and before you could protest that you were beginning to feel lightheaded, he surprised you by licking the wound clean instead of sinking his teeth back in, just as he had with the wound on your neck. 
You watched in fascination, as his saliva magically closed your wound, leaving only a small scar. 
He looked up and grinned at you, your blood coating his teeth, and you whimpered and pulled him into another kiss. 
He kissed you languidly, tongue moving against yours, as if he had all of eternity with you. 
“I have never tasted anything so divine,” he purred against your lips. 
“I have never felt so wonderful in all my life,” you said back as you pulled back enough to look upon him once again. 
“I can feel it. Can you feel it? You are to be my eternity, my everlasting, my one true mate. I give you my utter devotion. You said you wanted to start a new life. Start it with me. Let me turn you and we can be together forever. Stay with me,” he pleaded. 
And so you did. 
Yes, this night was dark and full of terrors, but this terror had wrapped himself around you, sunk deep inside you, and devoted his entire being to you, offering you pleasure and love unlike any you’d ever experienced before. 
And so, later, when Aemond fed you his blood and turned you and you opened your eyes into this new life, becoming a terror yourself, you grinned and kissed your vampire mate, prepared to spend forever by his side. 
456 notes · View notes
tieronecrush · 7 months
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i only have eyes for you
summary: your boyfriend frankie has biannual eye exams for his pilot’s license, and the results of this last one were not what he was hoping for. to his dismay, frankie needs glasses. and you’re not available to help him pick them out.
wc: 2.3k
warnings: none, pure fluff really. ending has mature themes mentioned, but this is really just a sweetie frankie moment 🩵
a/n: this was born out of @northernbluess and I discussing the frankie vibes of the photo(s) above, and then me running off with a delusion of frankie needing glasses. so wholesome, so shy, so sweet 😭
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“Seriously? Doesn’t your boss know you have plans with me?” Frankie groans from his place on the couch, flannel stretched across his shoulders and his Standard Oil cap on his head. Dark chocolate curls peek out of the hat, ringlets curving around the edges and his ears, while his plush bottom lip juts out in a pout.
Crossing the living room, you plant yourself on the area rug between his open legs, one hand reaching down to grab his chin and tilt his head to face you, eyes exposed from under the brim of his cap. His umber brown irises reflect hints of a tawny, golden color in the light; one look into his eyes and you’re surrounded in their depth and wrapped up in warmth, like coming into a heated home after a frigid winter day.
Matching his pout with your own, he shakes your hand off with another huff, crossing his arms over his chest. His knees pull together, trapping yours with their effortless strength, years of multiple miles a day in basic training and deployment giving him thighs and calves as thick as tree trunks and virtually as strong as them. A breathy laugh leaves your lips, one hand further hiking your work bag on your shoulder.
“And how d’you think my boss would react to me skipping out on the deadline ‘cause my boyfriend needs to go pick out glasses?” One eyebrow arches in questioning, Frankie shifting on the couch and shrugging as he stands his ground. You know his play; he’s going to pout and say he won’t go unless you’re coming with — you’ve been reminding him constantly over the last week about this appointment, a follow-up to his bi-annual eye exam for his pilot license that he had the other day.
Lately, Frankie had been squinting a lot more, holding books close to his face when he was reading; you even caught him increasing the size of the text on his phone in order to read his messages. He definitely needed the exam, and you knew he was going to need glasses. He grumbled the whole time, avoiding making the appointment until the last possible minute and waving your concern off when he came home with the results.
He was farsighted, which is why he was usually fine while flying. Years of experience meant he knew exactly where the controls were, the blurring of his vision not necessarily deterring his abilities to fly. Clinging to the fact that he’s been fine for the past few months at work, Frankie was refusing the fact that he needed to get glasses. But since he has to submit his results, his hand has been forced to head into the optometrist’s office and pick out a pair.
Which is where you were supposed to come in. Frankie claimed he didn’t care about the look of them, asking you to tag along with him and select some for him. The logic was that “I’m only seeing through them, you’re the one who has to look at ‘em the most. Should be the one to like ‘em.”
“This is a life-changing decision! He should understand that,” his voice drops in volume, eyes flicking away from yours, “I don’t wanna pick out a pair that makes me look silly to you.”
“Oh, baby, I think you’d look cute in any pair of glasses. ‘Cause I think you’re cute.” Folding forward, you steal a quick kiss before standing straight again, lifting one of your legs up and over his knee to free yourself. “Really, Francisco, you would never look silly to me, and you need glasses to go to work. Gotta go get ‘em, baby.”
Another groan rings in your ears, and you roll your eyes at his overdramaticness. Pushing himself off the couch, he stands in front of you, a playful glare on his face, “You’re paying the out-of-pocket price if my insurance won’t let me change them when you hate them.”
“Yeah, yeah, alright. That’s not gonna happen. Now I have to go, and you have to leave for your appointment in an hour. I’m going to check your location, so don’t even think about skipping out,” you warn as you walk toward the front door, hearing him call out to you before you shut the door behind you.
“Tell your boss he’s a dick for makin’ you come in on your day off!”
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The end of the day rolls around before you know it, and you’re more than eager to get home to see Frankie and his new glasses. Graciously, your boss told you to take tomorrow off instead, a relief settling in that you can actually enjoy a day with Frankie, who’s out of work until he gets his vision adjustments settled.
Excitement turns in your stomach when you park in the driveway of your shared house, following the path up to the front door of the bungalow and heading inside. Your shoes end up in a pile near the door and your bag ends up dropped next to them, bare feet padding across the tile floor.
Part of you, just a sliver, was feeling a bit anxious about Frankie’s choice. You genuinely meant you would love anything on him, but he’s been avoiding the task and trying to deflect it to you, which made you guess that the whole change had him feeling insecure. To you, there was nothing wrong with the addition to his look, but he must have been feeling much differently to be so worked up about the situation. In his world, surrounded by younger co-pilots and forced to disclose things like this in any applications or license renewals, you imagine it must be like showing up to elementary school or middle school as one of the few kids with braces or the butchered haircut your mom gave you in the bathroom the night before. Totally uncool.
You just wanted to hug the little, shy kid inside of Frankie; wrap him up, and tell him how much you love him and how cool you think he is. A kid like Frankie would’ve been your best friend when you were younger — he’s your best friend now.
“Frankie baby, where ya at?”
“Living room!”
Swerving from your direction toward the kitchen, you cross over into the living room, a wide and enthusiastic grin on your face as you anticipate what kind of glasses he chose. You’d been swarmed with text messages while he was at his appointment:
Are you sure you can’t take lunch now and come help me?
Way too many options here.
An older woman who works here is trying to help but I think she’s coming onto me…Please come over here baby!!
I feel like a dweeb in all of these.
Receiving the last one nearly made you pack up your things and rush over to help him, but with your boss breathing down your neck about a submission by the end of the day for this large project, you couldn’t sneak away. Instead, you sent reassurances, asking for photos but never receiving any from your boyfriend.
From where he sits on the couch, Frankie turns his hatless head away from the movie playing on the TV, sending a soft smile to you, “Hi, cariño. How was your day?”
No glasses.
God, you actually might kill him if he went through all of the theatrics only to come home empty-handed. Or empty-faced, more like it.
“My day was fine, but more importantly, how was your day? And why don’t I see glasses on your face?” you plop down on the couch next to him, body turned toward him while he continues to focus on the TV, humming dismissively.
“I got some. Jus’ don’t like wearing ‘em if I don’t have to,” he mumbles, sinking further into the couch cushions.
“Baby, you’re not going to get used to them if you don’t wear them regularly. Can’t be living in a blurry world.” Inching closer, you rest a hand on his thigh and the other cards through the curls at the nape of his neck, slowly turning his head to look at you, “I wanna see them. Please? Pretty please?”
Embraced again by those cocoa-brown eyes, this time filled with timidness and hooded with anxiety.
“I feel ridiculous in them. Like they make my ears stick out and they don’t fit under my cap and…they just look stupid on me.” His sentences mush together in his dejected tone, eyes falling from yours to stare at where his fingers are anxiously toying with the hem of your satin blouse.
The image of shy, little Frankie at school tugs on your heartstrings again; instead of showing your cards, you hide your anxieties with a soft, bright smile.
“Frankie, you could never look stupid to me. You never look stupid to anyone. Well, unless Pope’s around, but he can shove it.” That brings a subtle grin to his lips, a breathy of a single chuckle exhaling. “You are the most handsome to me, and a little pair of glasses isn’t going to change that. Can you please show them to me? I promise I’ll be honest, but I can guarantee that you think they are exponentially worse than what they are. Knowing how you are, they probably make you look hotter. Which, like, should be physically impossible, I mean look at you—”
“Alright, alright. I’ll show you the glasses. Quit makin’ me blush…” he scolds lightly, a smile playing at the corners of his lips and his dimple poking through on his cheek. You scoot back to allow him to get up off the couch, watching as he disappears down the hall to your bedroom and comes back a few seconds later, stopping right before he’s in view.
“Close your eyes.”
“Frankie, c’mon, I said—”
“Please?” His tone is so innocent, guileless in his clear nerves around you seeing him with the new accessory.
“Okay, they’re closed.” You confirm once you have shut your eyes, sitting up as you eagerly await. His steps grow louder and you can feel the couch sink when he sits back down again, shifting to cheat his body in your direction. A silent beat drums between you two before he clears his throat with a defeated sigh.
“Okay, you can look.”
Opening your eyes, the immediate reaction is to press your lips together, holding back the overexcitement about the new look to not startle Frankie. Circling your eyes over his face, you study the thick oaky frames that stand out from his strong features, complementing them with a statement of their own. Rounded square shapes hold the lenses, the bridge of them perched perfectly on his hooked nose. The arms of them extend back to his ears, and he was right, they do make the tops of his ears stick out minisculely. But most of that is covered by the way his dense curls flick out around the glasses, poking out in the most adorable way.
And of course, they do nothing but create the perfect perimeter around those beloved brown eyes, the curvature of the lenses making them appear just the slightest bit larger. More for you to stare into.
The lack of reaction as you take it all in has perturbed Frankie, a groan identical to his this morning rolling from his chest, “See I knew these were no good, I’m not wearing ‘em. I look silly.”
One of his hands lifts from his lap to grab for the frames, your own hand quick to intercept the motion. Quickly shaking your head, the words spill out to stop his spiraling, “No no no, absolutely not. You don’t look silly at all, baby…”
“But you don’t like them?”
“I love them. They’re exactly what I would’ve chosen for you myself. You look so handsome, my Frankie.” Without holding back anymore, a blinding smile lights up your face and you shift to your knees to crawl over and straddle his thighs. Your arms wrap around his neck, pressing yourself against him in a tight, squeezing hug. His own arms snake around your back, keeping you flush against him. The two of you sit in that embrace for a few moments, only pulling back a few inches to look at his face again. Delicately, you lift a finger to trace the shape of the glasses, grinning sweetly when your eyes focus back on his.
“You look hot. Like a sexy professor or like…a cool movie star.” Frankie laughs and shakes his head, fingertips tracing up and down your lower spine. “Can’t wait to christen the glasses. Kinda want you to keep ‘em on later tonight.”
Frankie’s head twists in curiosity, a smirk settling easily on his face, “That so? Guess it is going to be nice to see your face clearly again. Think that was my sole motivator for getting the damn things finally…” He grins when you laugh, pushing his lips out in a pucker and his eyes widen as a thought pops into his head. “Pretty sure they’ll get all fogged up when I’m between your le—”
“Oh my god, don’t even finish that sentence. The glasses come off when you’re doing that, Francisco.” You shove his shoulder gently and he laughs brightly, his eye glittering in the warm light behind his lenses. His hands at your back pull you in closer again, his nose nudging yours before he catches your lips in a soft, supple, slow kiss. The feeling of the plastic frames against your skin is foreign, but welcome.
“Love you, baby,” he whispers against your skin before he presses a kiss to the corner of your lips.
Leaning back again, his hands coast up and down your sides while you reply, “Love you too, Frankie. Glasses or no glasses.”
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cheriladycl01 · 2 months
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2026 Rewind - Grid x AudiDriver! Reader
Plot: After some devastating deaths within the F1 industry from unmistakable names in 2025, the FIA decide to make a plan to race at all of the old tracks that are iconic but haven’t been on the grid for a while.
A/N: this is racing heavy with only drivers name dropped, but if you want cool Ted and Crofty with Y/N vibes while learning more about some of the FIA Grade 1 Tracks, have a read!
Credit to celestinovietti for the GIF
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“So Ted, let’s talk about this years line up. It’s just so iconic that I can’t bear it!” David Croft says as they are in the commentator box at pre-season testing.
“Yeah Crofty, obviously it’s so unfortunate the reason behind what we are calling the 2026 rewind because of some losses we had in the industry and this was the way the FIA decided to pay tribute to those people!" Ted explains before the onscreen for the year comes up.
"So, lets go through the year together and analyze it. We're starting of the season strong in the lovely Kuwait, here at Kuwait Motor Town, this is where we are kick starting off this season. It's a high speed track here just north of where we would typically start in Bahrain. This is a track consisting of 20 turns, and is 5.609km of racing ahead. I'm very excited as no-one in F1 history has raced here in an F1 car. Who do you think's going to do well here Ted?"
"Well, there's some really nice corners, and it's a similar temp to Bahrain so i think it's difficult to tell but I can imagine the Audi with Y/N now having done her rookie season learning all those key values about the F1 car and how it works. McLaren will also be good here, really tightening up the constructors championship this year!" Ted offers looking at all the onboard footage.
"Yes I agree, I think Red Bull tend to be quiet strong a the start of the year naturally and its a game for the other teams to be playing catch up!" Crofty agrees.
"Okay, then after Kuwait, we'll be travelling to and correct me if I'm saying this wrong but the Kyalami Circuit in South Africa near the wonderful capital Johannesburg. It's in replacement of the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, we haven't raced in South Africa since 1993 and what a beautiful circuit this is, its got some really high speed corners and yeah, I think the Ferrari will really be great on those long straights." Ted says analysis the data of the cars in testing.
"And now here we have with us, Y/N Y/L/N Audi F1 driver here to talk through the rest of the tracks!" David says and points to the camera for you to smile and wave before he pulls out the microphone in front of you.
"Hello!" you grin and David and Ted both burst out laughing.
"What did I miss, I'm really sorry i was late!" you smile looking between them and they both nod in understanding of how tight the weekend schedule could be, they are shocked they actually have your time right now.
"It's completely okay, we understand! We've only introduced Kuwait and South Africa, we are about to move onto the changed Australia track! Your thoughts?" he exclaims and you smile.
"Yeah, obviously it's going to be exciting with all these new tracks that none of us have driven, so of course there was a lot of testing in the sims... but yeah its great to be here in Kuwait, and I'm excited to go to South Africa as well!" you smile.
"Yes, and how do you feel about Australia being changed from Albert Park in Melbourne to the Adelaide Street Circuit?" Ted asks with a grin on his face knowing how you felt about the Australian races.
"Well, after the spider incident in 2022, I've always been so scared to drive in Australia" you giggle, before Crofty pulls up the video of you in P4 of the Australian Grand Prix in 2022.
Y/N - Theres a fucking tarantula in my car Race Engineer - Copy that Y/N - No i dont think you guys get it, its on me
"And you ended up pitting there was no time to get it out of the car because of where it was, you were crying for the rest of the race and you were going so quick so you could just finish that you actually ended up winning your first race here and overtaking Charles Leclerc in, what back then was an Alfa Romeo." Crofty smiles and you nod.
"Yeah, so where ever that race is in Australia I know ill be on edge the whole time, I'll have my crew do like 6 inspections on my car before each session to make sure. It was traumatizing i tell you!" you admit.
"So after what will hopefully be a spider free stint in Adelaide on their street circuit we move on to south east Asia where we will exchange Suzuka Japan, for the Fuji SpeedWay, a truly iconic track before going back to an old favorite of some of the older driver on the grid like Lewis and Fernando in South Korea at the Korea International Circuit!" Ted says showing the line up for the races after Australia.
"I'm really excited for these, the atmosphere of the fans is always amazing and the tracks here are great I think Audi thrive on these sort of tracks and yeah, I'm excited to see what we can do there!" you smile, looking at the spinning track layout that popped up on screen.
You move on to Miami's replacement being the iconic Californian Long Beach Street Circuit.
"And we've been tipped of, by a certain Cash App driver that he'll be taking you to DisneyLand while out there?" he asks looking at you.
"Yes, Liam has already been once and when I said about wanting to go to radiator springs he and Daniel jumped on the opportunity to go, which then Yuki and Max wanted to come so it's now turned into this whole massive group trip!" you laugh knowing that half the grid would come with you guys.
"And of course much like the UK Italy is another pinnacle of Motorsport and we've had to change out two of the iconic track Monza and Imola. So for the first change of Italy we've changed it to the iconic Mugello track which I just really love, don't you Y/N?" Ted asks looking at you.
"Yeah I think Lando and Osc will be really strong there, I'd like to think me and Carlos are as well with the Audi this year... so yeah I'm excited for Mugello! Obviously they raced here in 2020 so it's the most recent of all the races this year to make a return so its only really me, Oscar, Logan, Fred, Theo and Kimi who haven't raced there" you smile analyzing the twisty track up on the screen.
"Yes, then we'll be moving onto, what was probably one of the toughest decisions of this year which was switching out Monaco and what to switch out such an exciting race with, so they didn't its the only race on the calendar this year that has remained unchanged!" David explains making you nod.
"I think, where this year is to show the history of F1 and what it means to all of us, the teams and the fans. And by keeping Monaco on there where its such a historic track, i think that's actually staying true to a rewind year!" you smile, you'd always loved the vibes in Monaco, from the fans to the track to how your car performed there.
"Yeah i agree i think it was the right choice keeping Monaco!" Ted exclaims also loving the vibes at Monaco.
"Okay, then moving all the way to the west, we'll be in Canada moving from Montreal over to Quebec at the second oldest track, the Mont-Tremblant Circuit!" David shows the new Canadian circuit on screen.
"Then after Canada we've got a really special double header with two Spanish Grand Prix's at different locations. We have the Valencia Street Circuit and Del Jarama Circuit. Both very exciting and it will be a long weekend in Spain!"
"I'm excited to see a street circuit in Spain, obviously we had Madrid for the last two years after Barcelona, so I'm excited for both Valencia as a street circuit and Jarama which is such an iconic track because of those tights turns and yeah I'm really excited for this one!" you smile.
"Obviously next one was another tough one, Silverstone again another iconic track and the UK has so many other iconic tracks that its hard to choose, there was talks of Aintree, Watkins Glen and Donington Park but ultimately they went with Brands Hatch what do you think on this?" Ted asks looking over to you, holding up a page showing all the different UK tracks.
"Yeah, I think there's some really iconic tracks in the UK, its my home so i grew up racing on a lot of those tracks in different motorsport categories, I think there's ones that are arguably better for Formula one, which is why Silverstone is the main circuit as it gives for the most interesting race, however for me it would have been a call between Brands Hatch and Watkins Glen so I'm glad that they chose Brands Hatch, I've got some great memories there at testing and showcasing the car or working with the Top Gear team, so I'm excited to race there!" you explain, the United Kingdom is the like Monaco in being both a founder and royalty when it comes to Motorsport.
"I 100% agree with that, however I just love Aintree so much and am gutted we wont see it!" David Croft admits.
"So after Brands Hatch we move to Monsanta in Portugal which we haven't raced in Portugal since 2021 because of the COVID restrictions but that was in Algarve so it'll be interesting to see the difference!" Ted offers looking at the next circuit floating on their screen as he zoom's in on turn 4.
"Then, again there another track we hate to see go even if its for one year but Spa, its so iconic and its one of the most dangerous circuits we race now and it's being swapped out for Circuit Zolder on the other side of Belgium! Thoughts?" David asks out in the open.
"I" you start.
"Well I think" Ted also starts and you both look at each other in shock before laughing. You let Ted go first to say his piece.
"Well, I think it's no where near interesting as Spa, and especially where its the last race before a break... I think it's going to be way more uneventful than Spa!"
"Y/N?" Crofty asks looking at you.
"I actually think the opposite most of the tracks have been very high risk with lost of turns and chicanes and hairpins that really catch you out, however this reminds me of the simplicity of Monza and everyone, everyone loves Monza. So i think it will really even out the mid field cars" you says observing the track that had nice long straights and minimal turns.
"I agree with you there Y/N! Next after Zolder we head over to the heavily missed Nurburgring in Germany, the last time we saw it was 2019 so again, up until our 2019 rookies would have driven there how'd you feel about this track Y/N?" David asks.
"Well, it's such an iconic track for so many reasons I really wanted to race there after I watched Lando, George and Alex all race there in 2019, I was actually there in the paddock that year with Ferrari as a part of their driver development programme" you nod, explaining to them how excited you were for it.
"Now next in the place of Monza which we just mentioned we have a complete wild card of the Scandinavian Raceway in Sweden! Now this, this is one I'm excited for it's a beautiful track and has the coldest track temps we'll probably get all season! So it'll be a real fight to see who can protect their tyres and manage them well!" Ted explains and you nod, knowing it would be an exciting race.
"Then after that we travel to France where we haven't been for a while, however the Bugatti Au Mans Track in France is iconic, there are so many great tracks in France like Paul-Ricard or the Charade Circuit or Dijon de Prenois, all of them are great but the Bugatti hasn't been done is so long and really means a lot historically to the sport" David offers, showing you one of the only tracks you didn't feel too excited a lean towards.
"Then, we move back across to Aisa, going to an age of favorite of the age old Sepang International Circuit in Malasiya which is one fans have been wanting to see back on the race calendar for a while so i wonder if this will stay into 2027!" Ted takes over, and you nod.
"I'm also very excited for Sepang! After Malaysia we move onto the first ever FIA grade 1 race track the Chang Circuit in Thailand, how to we feel about this?" David asks directly looking at you.
"Not only is it a beautiful track, but it means that Alex now has a chance to race at his home track while racing under his home flag and I think he's really excited for it. He's in a great car, the Williams has come leaps and bounds and are top midfield contenders and definitely will be up there fighting for race wins!" you smile, knowing Alex was so happy to have this opportunity to race in his home country.
"I agree Alex Albon to win in Chang Circuit, I've put my money on it! Our next circuit it one that NASCAR share with us in F1 taking it back to the Indianapolis Speedway, on the lower F1 circuit of course rather than the Oval that the NASCAR drivers use!" Ted explains.
"Yeah, that lower track is great, you got the nice curve and we'll be able to get to those really high speeds. It's an iconic US track just like COTA!" you admit, taking a sip of the water you'd brought with you.
"After Indi, we'll make our way a little further down south to the Rio de Janiro International Track in Brazil, which is instead of Sao Paulo" David explains looking at the second F1 track in Brazil, it was a nice track but Sao Paulo had been on the roster for so long.
"Then, we are back in Las Vegas, but not on the Strp track that was created in 2023, no we are going back to the Ceaser's Palace Track and I know many people complain about these Las Vegas Grand Prix's because of the timings and the drivers not really liking driving at 12pm!"
"Yeah, i agree they are really strenuous just like Qatar for the heat but I love the vibe Las Vegas brings and I like the whole weekend with all the activities in the fan zone and yeah I'm excited they used Ceaser's Palace rather than the Pheonix Street Circuit which i know they were considering.
"I agree. Our last two races, then consist of the Buddah International Circuit in India and rounding off instead of in Yas Marina in the Dubai Autodrome, which will be a really nice round off" David exclaims.
Slowly you end the interview up, needing to go down to the track to get into the car for you leg of pre-season testing.
What a year it would be.
Taglist:
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libraryofloveletters · 3 months
Text
Helping Hands
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Ruben Dias x Fem!Reader
Warnings: ruben and reader have a kid! (he's 5), boy dad!ruben, most of the man city squad is in this (kalvin too even tho he's not here anymore lol), mr pep makes an appearance, birthday surprises (yes I know ruben's birthday isn't until may lol), sweetness all around, reader and the guys have a good relationship, one big family vibes.
Word Count: 1.9k
Author's Note: is it really a big shock that this one is for @themandaloriansdiaries - I only ever write ruben when she asks lmaooo.
--
"Mama! Come on!" Chris, your son, tugged on your hand as you carried the bags.
Ruben's birthday was today and the two of you had gotten up to wish him happy birthday before he left, even making sure to make birthday pancakes - Chris's request, despite it being his father's birthday.
Your husband had gone in for training today and he wasn't aware that the two of you were coming with a special surprise for him. Once you're checked in at the front, Chris makes a beeline for the stairs, running up and straight to the office of none other than Pep.
You didn't get a chance to stop him before he opened the door, not bothering to knock as he knew he had Mr. Pep - his nickname for the man- wrapped around his finger.
"Chris!" The man smiled when he saw the little brown-haired boy running into his office. He picks him up, giving him a good squeeze before putting him down.
"Hi Mr. Pep! Do you have any candy?" The boy looks around, peeking into a bowl on the desk. "Check the drawer, kid." He retells him, walking over to hug you hello.
Chris had made himself comfortable in Pep's chair, munching on a Kit Kat while spinning around.
Pep's hand rests on your arm, smiling at you. "What brings you two in today?"
"Just setting up a few things for Ruben's birthday. Chris wanted to celebrate with him and the guys."
"Oh," Pep nods. "Do you need help? Do you want me to get some of the stuff to help you?"
"No no, that's okay. Don't disturb them, it's just hanging up a few balloons and a banner Chris made, we got it. Right buddy?"
Chris nods, giving you a thumbs up with sticky, chocolate covered fingers.
Pep laughs, walking over to wipe Chris's hands with a tissue. "Okay, let me know if you need anything."
You and Chris were off to the cafeteria, taking the long way around as you knew Ruben would be in the gym right now. Chris sits himself down by the window, looking out in the pitch as you unpack the stuff from the bags, passing the balloons to him to start blowing them up; it would keep him occupied for long enough that you could set up whatever else you needed too.
As you tried to unravel the banner Chris was making at home, you heard footsteps behind you and Chris got up, running over to whoever was over there. You turn to see John, balancing the cake in one hand and rubbing Chris's brown hair with the other hand.
"Hi uncle Johnny!" Chris smiled at the man, John smiled back at him. "Hi buddy, how are you?"
"Good! It's daddy's birthday today!"
John nods, "I know, I got the cake, see?" He bends down to show Chris the cake before taking it into the kitchen to put it in the fridge so it doesn't melt.
"Thank you for picking it up," you tell him when he comes back, Chris holding his hand and bringing him over to the table where he was sitting.
"Anytime."
"Help me blow up balloons, uncle Johnny!" Chris passes him a handful of balloons, sitting on his chair as he starts on his own.
Despite having to get to the gym, John sat with Chris and blew up all of the balloons. For every 6 balloons John blew up, Chris blew one. The boy passed the slobbered covered balloon to his uncle who happily tied it; even if he had to wipe his fingers off on his pants after each one.
Once they're done, John gets up. "I have to get to training, buddy. I'll be back at lunch time and I'll bring your dad with me, okay?"
"Okay!" Chris gave John a five high before turning his attention back to the balloons. You wave John off as you start to attempt to bundle the balloons together.
"Baby, why don't you finish up on your banner for daddy? The crayons are in the green bag over there." You nod towards the bag on the chair, Chris nods and walks over to get the crayons before sitting where you had spread out the banner.
You managed to get a few balloons bundled together before you started on the arch, your back was turned to the doorway and you hadn't heard anyone come in.
Kyle had seen Chris about to get up and signalled for him to stay sitting and to be quiet, pointing to you and motioning surprise with his hands. Chris got the just of it and nodded, his little hand covering his mouth to stop him from giggling.
The cold fingers pinch your shoulders, causing you to jump. "What the f- fudge!" You stopped mid swear, shouting before turning to see who it was. Both Kyle and Chris were giggling now, you smacked Kyle on the head with a balloon.
"You're so annoying, Kyle." Groaning, you turn your attention back to the balloon arch you were assembling. The man ignores your comment, making his way over to Chris at the table.
His arms on either side of Chris's chair as he stands behind him, his chin on the boy's head. "Whatcha working on, bud?"
"A banner for daddy! Look how cool my football is," he points towards the football he had drawn in the corner.
"That's really good, I couldn't even draw a circle." He laughed. "Who are these guys?" Kyle asks him, pointing out the few guys Chris had drawn around the ball.
"Well this one is Eddie," he points to the man by the net, wearing bright green. "This one is daddy, uncle Jack, uncle Johnny and this one is you, uncle walks." He points to the one on the left.
Kyle stifles a laugh. "Chris, why is my head so big?"
"Because mama said you have a big head." Chris shrugs, going back to working on his drawings.
The man looks over at you with a raised eyebrow, and you shrug just as Chris did. "It's true, now come be useful and hold this." You stuck the end of the arch out to Kyle, the man coming over to hold it as you filled in the extra balloons that needed to fit in.
He helps you get it up and over the window, along with the streamers before you thank him and climb down from the chair. When you turned around, you found more of the guys had come in as it was pretty close to lunch time.
Jack was sitting with Chris, the two of them chatting about some cartoon they both watch when Jack comes over while Kalvin helped to colour in the letters that Chris had traced.
Everything was coming together, all that needed to be done was put the banner up and get the cake out from the fridge. Erling had come in with Kevin and Kevin offered himself to get the cake as he knew Erling and Jack would probably start bickering about something as soon as he saw the taller man make a bee line for his friend.
Ederson and Stefan were the next two that came in. Erling and Stefan hung the banner up, Jack handing pieces of tape to Chris to stick on the banner. Ederson had Chris up on his shoulders so he could reach it and Rodri gave them thumbs up of approval, letting them know that the banner was hung straight.
Kevin sets the cake on the table, taking it out of the box while you search for the candles in the bag. "Oh crap, I forgot the candles at home."
"I think we have some from John and Kyle's birthday last week," Nathan tells you, walking over to the cabinet to search for them. He returns a moment later with a half pack of candles and a lighter.
Chris helps Nathan stick the candles into the cake; all 27 which is how old he was turning this year.
Everything was set, the rest of the players had come in and even pep had made his way down for the little celebration. All of you were by the window, waiting until you heard someone coming to light the candles.
The big banner above you read happy birthday daddy! in several different coloured crayons, all coloured in and out of the lines - depended on who coloured it.
You look at Chris, fixing his shirt as Ederson held him and you made sure he looked okay. You brushed away the cookie crumbs from earlier before looking around to make sure everyone was there. Jack, who was beside you, also had the same cookie crumbs on his shirt and you brushed those off too.
The sound of John's laughter came from the hallway, followed by the clicking of Bernardo's slides as he never wore them properly. That meant Ruben would be right behind them.
"What are you recording for?" You hear your husband's voice, one of his friend's had their phone out as they were coming in.
Bernardo and John push the double doors open, John stepping into the room to catch Ruben's reaction.
"Surprise!" Everyone shouts, the boys cheering, clapping and whistling for their friend.
Ruben stood there shocked, taking it all in. The handmade banner, streamers, balloons, the cake, all his teammates and most importantly, his wife and his son.
Ederson put Chris down, the little boy running to his dad who picks him up. "Do you like it?!" Chris practically shouts in his dad's ear. Ruben chuckles, nodding. "I love it, Chris. Thank you."
He gives him a hug, putting him down. "Do you like the banner? And the colours I picked?"
"You used all my favourites." He ruffles Chris's fluffy brown hair, identical to his own. Chris clapped, grinning at his father as he ran over to Jack. "Told you!" You hear Chris tell Jack, the two of them laughing.
You walk over to your husband, hugging him. "Surprise, baby."
Ruben kisses your head, "thank you, babe. You didn't have to do all this, you know."
"I know," you say. "I had some help." You nodded towards his teammates behind you.
Ruben leans down to kiss you, his hand on your jaw as he does. "Okay okay, break it up." Kevin calls for you two, "the candles are gonna melt."
You hold Ruben's hand, bringing him over to the table with the cake, Chris standing on the chair on the left to his dad and you're tucked under Ruben's arm on the right. All of his teammates on the other side of the table, John was still recording as Jack started the horribly off key rendition of happy birthday, which was being sung in at least 5 different languages at the moment.
Ruben pulls you and Chris with him, blowing out all 27 candles on the cake. "Happy birthday, babe." You kisses his cheek, Chris swiping some frosting and rubbing it on the other side of his dad's face.
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red lips and rosy cheeks, a criminal minds imagine
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pairings: fem!reader x bau!team (platonically of course) and fem!reader x spencer reid (if you squint a little)
word count: 800ish
warnings: none i think. no use of y/n because i don’t really vibe with that. no angst, a little fluff, maybe? it’s mostly just funny i think. also not beta-read, or like we say in ao3, no beta we die like men.
author’s note: i have been binge-watching criminal minds for a couple weeks now and of course i’m obsessed with it, and this visual of spencer becoming a little flustered over seeing his crush all dressed up popped into my mind. it’s my first time writing an imagine with the reader as the main piece in the story, so idk be gentle with me? i also never wrote for criminal minds and i’m only in season 4. i just wrote this instead of sleeping or actually writing my other fics. sorry if this is terrible anyway. i’m open to feedback! thanks for reading <3
Working for the FBI could be a handful, sometimes, but the job had its benefits. You could catch criminals and help people, make a difference, you know? But something you would never expect to count as a benefit was the possibility of being called in the middle of a date.
You didn’t even want to go on that date, but your long-time friend Emma had insisted she knew a guy that would be perfect for you. Emma knew you since you both were undergraduates working on their degrees, so you had figured it wouldn’t hurt to give the guy a chance.
It wasn’t your best moment.
Not that the guy turned out to be a psychopath or something like that. But the ice of your drink had barely started to melt when it became clear that Sean wasn’t the guy for you, and by the end of your martini, you could see that Sean was too self-centered and trying too hard to be something he was not, with the fake watch and the well-pressed but clearly cheap suit and exaggerated tales of his life. An hour into the date and you were begging to the universe to offer you a way out of that bar.
Thankfully the universe seemed to listen to your plea, and you let out a relieved sigh when you saw Garcia’s name on the screen as the phone rang. Apparently, Hotch wanted everyone at the office right that moment.
That hurry was what prompted you to go into the BAU headquarters straight from your date, thinking that a stop by your apartment to change would take too much time and that you could take the clothes out of your go bag and change out of your outfit once you got there.
“Hey there.” you greeted as you walked into the bullpen. “Is everyone here yet?”
“Rossi and Prentiss are on their way.” Morgan said from his desk. “Wonder boy is getting coffee.”
“Oh, okay.” you mumbled, moving to take off your coat and wondering if you would have time to wipe off the red lipstick before the briefing.
“Damn, pretty girl.” you heard Morgan say, that suggestive tone in his voice that annoyed the life out of you. “Did we interrupt something?”
“Only the most boring date I have ever been on.” you scoffed, nervously fixing your dress. It wasn’t inappropriate or something, just very different from what you used to wear. It had been Emma’s idea, actually, to pair that black sleeveless dress with knee-high boots. “He spent the entire time talking about himself.” you rolled your eyes.
“Oh, look at you!” Garcia exclaimed as she got into the bullpen. “You look like a million bucks, darling.”
“Thank you, Pen.” you said. “What’s the case about?”
“A woman went missing in Indiana this morning in the same way three more disappeared in the last month before they were found dead.” JJ told, walking out of her office. “Oh, hot date tonight?” she asked.
“Disappointing, actually.” you laughed. “Can we not talk about it?”
“Talk about what?” you heard Spencer’s voice from behind Penelope.
“About her date.” Garcia said. Spencer joined them as they all stood near your desk, two coffee mugs in his hands. His messy hair was the first thing you noticed, looking like he had been dragged out of his bed. He handed you the second coffee mug, the one with little cartoon kittens stamped on it, then his eyes really focused on you.
“Oh, thank you.” you mumbled, taking a sip of it.
“I– yeah, I…” he stammered, eyes moving up and down, up and down.
“Are you alright, Doc?” you asked, using the nickname you had given him a few weeks into working together.
“Ooh, I think you broke pretty boy.” Morgan laughed.
“It’s probably the red lipstick.” Garcia pointed out, joining Derek in his laughs. You waited for one of Spencer’s famous info-dumps, where he would talk about how red lipstick used to be made out of crushed beetles in Ancient Egypt or something, but he was still silent, lips parted like he meant to say something but couldn’t figure out what.
“Do you need me to reset you or something?” you were now having a bit of fun with it. It wasn’t like you were trying to be mean, but both of you had been dancing around unspoken feelings for a while now.
“I… you look pretty.” Spencer finally managed to say.
You put the mug to your lips, trying to hide the blood that was rushing to your cheeks as Morgan whistled.
“Go on, wonder boy.”
“Derek? Shut up.” then, you looked at Spencer again, who was timidly smiling at you.“Thanks.” you mumbled.
Spencer looked at the mug on your hands, focusing on the stain of your lipstick on the rim of the mug.
“Uh, did you know that the first known red lipsticks were created by crushing gemstones in Mesopotamia over 5.000 years ago?”
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Would i be the asshole for breaking up an entire friend group?
I (F21) have a friend (F21) let's call her Alice, whos dating another girl (F20), who we'll call Lydia. Alice is my best friend for over a decade, and I love her so much. However, Lydia is a total bitch to me. She stands up in front of our entire friend group and will declare things like "I won't go to the Christmas party if (anon) is there! I won't buy (anon) a present! I don't like (anon)!" and my best friend does NOTHING. in private the entire friend group has all agreed that Lydia is being really mean towards me and none of us know why, even Alice will acknowledge this in one-on-one conversations, but Alice won't say anything about it to Lydia. She doesn't stand up for me, ever, and it just encourages Lydia to escalate. She talks like I'm not standing right there and says awful things about me, and Alice just sits there and stares straight forward with a neutral expression and says nothing. The entire friend group promised they'd stage an intervention about this but on the day of the intervention NO ONE SHOWED UP, not even Lydia. When I plan a party, Lydia plans a party at the exact same time and all my friends choose Lydia's party. My dog died and my friends said they were going to come over to comfort me, but then they never showed up and the next day I found out that Lydia had messaged everyone except me to play board games at her place and they all went to Lydias???? I tried asking Lydia what I did to her because I never even knew her before Alice started dating her and she just scoffed at me?
I'm definitely leaving this friend group. It breaks my heart that none of them will stand up for me. The thing is that all my friends are kinda pissing me off with actively choosing Lydia over me. It's one thing to be like "Hey guys I'm leaving this friend group because Lydia is really rude to me and won't explain herself, and you guys aren't helping." But I'm really mad. I knew all these people YEARS before Lydia came into the equation, and they're all choosing Lydia over me because Alice is like. the leader of the friend group. and they dont want to cross her. the thing is that all of these people have sent me messages being like "yeah i dont like lydia, she really threw the vibes off" and i kinda want to post screenshots of all these messages when I leave. I'm leaving no matter what but if I can't have these friends Lydia can't either, and I know this would piss Alice off too and if she leaves, she's the glue. The friend group would definitely implode on itself. I'm not going to block anyone after I leave though because if they angry message me at least maybe I'd find out what is apparently so wrong with me that they'd side with such an aggressive girl over me. IDK part of me is worried that I've done something to all these people that they're not confronting me about and that's why they're choosing Lydia, besides Alice being the leader and the glue and simping for Lydia so bad. I'm also getting a therapist because of all this because I'd like to seriously know if there's something wrong with me.
Would I be the asshole if I try to destroy the entire friend group as I leave
What are these acronyms?
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so-this-is-hell · 4 months
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Ok I watched the leaked episodes
Let’s start with the positives! I love positives!
- Alex Brightman put his whole Alexussy into this shit oh my god, Pentious and Adam actually sound really good. Adam singing is also really really good. Alex can sing in character and carry things well and I’m glad now he’s part of the project. Because at least it’ll be bearable if I see the other episodes.
-Vox is actually weirdly really compelling? Like I actually ended up enjoying the vibe he’s got and his own voice grew on me, I know it’s not what people wanted but it works well.
-Nifty’s voice is pretty ok, so is Charlie’s. They’re some of the better voices of the cast, Alastor’s performance was uh. It wasn’t bad so there’s that!
-the opening exposition was needed but also a bit hamfisted- wait shit the positives- uh, I love the direction it went? Art wise?
-the songs are pretty good, they get you from point A to point B, and at least wasn’t Poison levels of cringe in writing.
-Charlie actually helping Pentious in episode 2 try to repent and be a better person actually feels nice, like a crumb of what the show should of be-
Ok let’s get to the point.
-the episodes clearly are trying to shove as much of the plot as humanly possible, to the point that you get whiplash.
-Angel Dust, Vaggie, Valentino, Husk all have voices that either do not fit, crack from the pressure to perform, or are trying so hard to mimic the previous voice that it’s actually worrying. The Angel dust one in particular I’ll get to when I get to the point.
-The plot starts with the main antagonist, literally telling Charlie that her plan is pointless and she should give up. There’s no actual “I want” song to counter this, unless you count the song where Adam mocks her for trying and tells her the exterminations will happen twice a year now.
-Pentious at least wasn’t a creep like i was fearing in the script, but he comes off too pathetic? Like I know he was pathetic and that’s the point but why the fuck does he want to be equal to the Vees now? Didn’t he want to rule over hell himself? I know the instagram had him crop himself into pictures with the Vees but remember those aren’t canon!
-I realized I was able to hop in because I had Wikipedia level knowledge of these characters to the point they click in my head (and enough to where Alastor, Charlie, Vaggie and Husk all felt a little off but that’s neither here nor there). But god I cannot imagine being a new person trying to jump into this show, this is bad. None of the characters get actually introduced outside of Charlie, the show references the pilot which isn’t part of the show so new audiences have no idea what they’re talking about, and the staff gets actually introduced in episode 2. EPISODE 2, TO PENTIOUS!? GIRLIE POP HAVE HIM COME EPISODE 1 THEN?
-Animation that’s either too floaty, too janky, too stiff or straight up traced. Which I don’t blame the animators for, Mammon was busy buying 10,000 dollars worth of peacocks to bother paying them more than a dollar per frame. There’s no charm here.
-Where did the fucking cat key come from? No I’m serious. Where did it come from? It just kinda exists now.
-Alastor’s commercial is just straight up MEAN and he’s often more mean than chaotic, which I know is ironic since he wasn’t a good person and I wasn’t expecting him to be but it’s to a point where it’s not even fun mean. He literally called Charlie’s endeavor “Daddy issues”. It felt like he was just there to slap Charlie in the face.
-Angel Dust rant is gonna be so long that I saved it for last.
I have to put it under the read more because of talk of SA! Fun!
Ok.
I’m saying this as someone who loved him from the pilot and was willing to excuse his behavior as “flaws he can work on” since Addict and everything else proved that there was more under the surface and he was a character that could change and grow and-
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Angel dust, the rape victim… the guy running away from his abuser…
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The Angel dust who has traumatic episodes so fucking graphic that he flashes back to them when he’s performing.
Saying “yeah no, fucking sexually exploit me! It turns me on!”
Viv, I know you’re not reading this but I mean this genuinely.
Fuck you.
As someone who’s family has experienced sexual abuse, as someone who’s family still has CPTSD because men in power decide to exploit them… how fuckin dare you make a character enjoy their own exploitation.
This isn’t me kink shaming a sexual character! He can be sexual and like sex! It’s never been the problem and hell it could of been liberation to have sex he deserves.
But no.
Let’s make the SA victim into the sexual harassment character, let’s make the SA victim the Stolas of the show where he wears down his love interest so thin that they have to give up.
Let’s make the SA victim still work under his shitty abuser, and make that into a joke as the abuser mentions wanting to rape everyone in the hotel.
Don’t pay to watch this show, I mean it.
Pirate it.
Hell don’t even watch it, find something better to watch. I’ve been binging anime as of late and I still like captain lazerhawk.
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phoebejaysims · 11 months
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Social Clubs Mod - DOWNLOAD
Tired of your sims walking aimlessly through town? No friends, no hobbies, no purpose? Put an end to their lack of a fulfilling social life by creating a million and one clubs for them to join and/or get kicked out of! 
With 50+ activities for you to push, including activities from over 10 different mods, and 4 specialised club types, you can create almost any club you can think of: book clubs, invite-only hangouts, afterschool clubs and more! Grow memberships, take part in tournaments and ship cute little subscription gifts straight to your sim’s door.
Note: This mod is very extensive, so please thoroughly read the documentation in the download that I’ve painstakingly written up.
Compatibility: Should be base game compatible however expansion packs, store content and mods add more content.
7 New Objects: Credit to @aroundthesims who has generously allowed me to use her items as well as @twinsimming who converted 2 items for me. Full credit in the documentation.
Testers: @desiree-uk who not only tested the mod, but contributed ideas for club activities, the banking system and the subscription gift system. @simsdeogloria who kindly offered to test the mod and caught some bugs that I had completely missed.
Credits: Full credit in documentation. However, thank you to @olomayasims​, IcarusAllsorts, Arsil, Buzzler & @zoeoe-sims​, @anitmb​, @greenplumbboblover​, @flotheory​ as I push some of their mods as activities.
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Club Types
Custom Club: Push specific activities (or no activity at all) and watch your active and inactive club members congregate and do said activities. Push bowling, swimming, rumba, nectar drinking, collecting, studying, music lessons, among many other things. 
Subscription-Only Club: While members won’t meet up, force them to pay a subscription fee to the club owner for your own purposes. Consider: food subscription service, council-tax payments, school fees.
Book Club: Choose a book for the book club. Your sims will sit together, have discussions, and read said book.
Formal Gathering Club: Set musicians and/or a speaker (podium or pulpit). Have your club members sit down and act like they’re listening to said musicians and speaker. Choose a skill to increase while the club is in operation.
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Club Vibes
Clubs can have different vibes depending on the cost and activities, attracting or repelling different types of sims. There are sports, games, intellectual, low-brow and high class clubs. Some personalities will be more inclined to join than others.
Customising Clubs
Set different open days, open hours, required club outfits, subscription fees, gender, age, career and trait requirements/restrictions, forbidden actions etc.
Autonomy
Allow or restrict autonomy in different ways. Make clubs open or closed invite, allowing or disallowing sims to join, leave, or be kicked out of clubs with or without your own input. Put club boards around town and let sims browse. Impress observers by having a great club session and watch them beg to join!
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Tournaments
Win tournaments and gain club acclaim. Get cash prizes, find yourself in the newspaper, and find out if any of your fellow club members are playing for the opposing team. Your own sim isn’t exempt from the repercussions of being a club traitor!
Banking
Create Bronzo accounts for your sims. You can link these accounts to schedulers and have the club fee delivered straight into the account. Take out loans, find the best interest rates online and stay out of your overdraft. Try not to get your account details stolen at the all new ATMs that you can place around town and don’t leave your debit card laying around near strangers!
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Download MTS: http://www.modthesims.info/d/677428
Conflicts: None.
If you would like to donate to say thank you, you can do that at my Ko-fi, here.
It’s been a long 8 months getting this mod done; thank you all for your patience and enjoy! @ me if you post any pictures of your clubs—I’d love to see your pictures.
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yurislotusgarden · 5 months
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TEACHER/PROFESSOR!DAZAI HC'S
ʚїɞ There are hc's just about teacher Dazai but also some including reader so-
ʚїɞ Dazai x reader
ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!
ʚїɞ word count: 845
ʚїɞ My current ongoing Christmas event
ʚїɞ Part 2
ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just some regular fluff and stuff
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ཐིཋྀ The teacher that all students love
ཐིཋྀ Whatever he would be teaching, no one would mind the subject because he manages to make anything interesting
ཐིཋྀ Speaking of, depending on what institute he teaches at, his subject would differ
ཐིཋྀ If he was in middle/high school he would probably be an English teacher (yes he would be the one to tell the class to read books in English but no one would complain because he’d choose interesting ones)
ཐིཋྀ I feel like he would be a professor at a university more though, he’s giving the vibes of a literature teacher, I would say (still could be the English professor ngl but I think only if there was no free spot for a literature one)
(Yes I know many people who write teacher!Dazai make him a literature prof but it just fits this man)
ཐིཋྀ Let's go with the university professor because I have more ideas for that
ཐིཋྀ There’s only 2 options for cheating
ཐིཋྀ There's absolutely no way you're cheating in his class if he doesn’t let you, probably will allow it ONLY if he likes you though💀
ཐིཋྀ Or he would be one of the teachers who would turn a blind eye to it if he sees that you need a better grade at the moment (if you're cheating while having good grades then that's a no-no)
ཐིཋྀ I picture him wearing black gloves, but I'm blaming it on the Beast novel where he has them
ཐིཋྀ Fucker almost never sits in the actual chair when one would expect him to do it (like when students are writing a test)
ཐིཋྀ He just straight up sits on the edge of his desk or on top and does his stuff in silence
ཐིཋྀ While teaching he either sits on the edge of the desk or walks around a little
ཐིཋྀ Cracks jokes all the time and people always laugh at them or at least smile because he knows when to say them and what kind fits the moment
ཐིཋྀ His students would accidentally find out that he has a drawer with sweets (he sometimes uses it for bribery, for example ‘you turn your work in on time = a candy for you’ when he assigns a hard project, it works)
ཐིཋྀ If Chuuya teaches at the same place then no one is escaping their bickering, the students actually made a bet on how long it would take before Chuuya hits Dazai for one of his insults
ཐིཋྀ There was also another bet that came about after the previous one
ཐིཋྀ At first, students were curious if Dazai was taken because 'how would someone like that not be in a relationship guys, he has to!'
ཐིཋྀ Little did they know some other professor heard it and told Dazai about it so he gave subtle hints but not clear enough, confusing people even more
ཐིཋྀ Going back to the gloves part, he once had to take them off because ‘they got dirty’ right before a break, revealing a ring on his left hand, causing the class at the time to erupt in chaos
ཐིཋྀ “Oh, I forgot to tell you all that I'm married? My bad, guys!” -he said right before he slipped out of the class for his lunch break
ཐིཋྀ The whole school knew he was married the very same day 
ཐིཋྀ Then came the other bet, ‘Who is he married to?’
ཐིཋྀ Some students proposed other professors, others said that it could be someone whom they had never seen, and someone else thought it might be a joke from Dazai's side because he found out about the previous bet
ཐིཋྀ They knew it was real when Chuuya of all people confirmed it 
“Sir I have a question, it's unrelated to the lesson though”
“Don't worry about it, what is the question?”
“Is it true that Professor Dazai is married?”
“Yeah, why?”
“HAH?!”
ཐིཋྀ Yeah he also confirmed it was someone they most likely hadn’t met as the brunet’s spouse works somewhere else/stays at home
ཐིཋྀ They would meet you because you either came to Dazai's classroom because mf forgot his lunch or a few of his students came to the room in the middle of a break, and you were there for some reason (in the 2nd option they probably asked you to come to class once so the class can meet you. They adore you either way)
ཐིཋྀ When it comes to you, Dazai is probably so goddamn soft that if any of his students saw him, they would think it's someone else trying to impersonate him
ཐིཋྀ You make him bentos and stuff and he never fails to eat them <3
ཐིཋྀ He appreciates it so goddamn much when you help him when he has a lot of stuff to grade at once because he procrastinated it 
ཐིཋྀ It can be making sure he isn't dehydrated, doesn't forget to eat or sleep, or even help in grading anything 
ཐིཋྀ Give him those forehead kisses after a long day, don't be shy, I dare you he’s so weak for them
ཐིཋྀ I recommend running your fingers through his hair while he's lying down on top of you or on your lap, he will melt
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Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated
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dontbeunraisonable · 5 months
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Reward - Lucifer x GN!Reader
Prompt: You offer to give them a reward in exchange for them doing something.
Word Count: 0.8k words
Warnings: none
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Lucifer
Now, Lucifer doesn’t usually need a “carrot-and-stick” ploy to get him to do something. He usually listens to reason or exchanges of favors. And is generally responsible.
But tonight he was in a particularly sour mood. So sour that throwing himself into paperwork was just making him feel worse. The music was off, his wine glass had been abandoned across the room. He was just stewing.
The House of Lamentation was unusually quiet. His brothers could smell the negative energy wafting from Lucifer’s study and were all hiding from him. They told you to hide, too, but you figured that leaving him to marinate in his own bad vibes would just make him more mad.
You politely knocked on the door, careful not to be too loud.
“Lucifer?”
When you didn’t hear him tell you to go away, or the sound of furniture being thrown at the door, you went ahead inside. He was sitting at his desk surrounded by papers and folders. When he saw you, he gave you a small smile and put his pen to the side to rub his temples.
“Hello, my darling.” He sounded tired.
“Evening. Heard you’re in a bad mood.”
He frowned. He never appreciated finding that his brothers had been talking about him. Especially to others. Especially to the exchange students. And especially to you. But you were saying it gently and crossing the room to stand next to him. His frown softened as he leaned into your touch, carding fingers through his hair and pressing his head into your chest.
“You feeling stressed, baby?” you whispered, kissing the top of his head. “Anything I can do to help?”
His eyes fluttered shut. “Mm. No. This is enough.”
“How much of this do you need to get done tonight? Can you just go to bed and do it with a fresh mind tomorrow.”
He sighed and hugged you tightly. “I need to keep working.”
“Just a bit more. Then bed. You won’t be doing your best work when you’re tired and in a bad mood.”
He grumbled something but he was melting under your touch and knew he would cave soon. Time for a secret weapon.
“Finish this file and I’ll give you a reward, okay? Then I’ll let you get back to work.”
He perked up. “Reward?”
“Mhm.”
He waited for you to tell him what the reward was, then figured from your smile that you weren’t going to.
“Fine. Sit over there with your secret and I’ll finish this.”
It didn’t take him too long, but he kept glancing up at you from your spot on the couch. You didn’t even pretend to not be staring at him. Chin on the heel of your hand. Smiling.
He looked so handsome when focused, and was looking prettier and prettier as his frown faded. Tousled black hair. Loosened tie and partially unbuttoned shirt. Gloves discarded. Shapely eyebrows slowly returned to a resting position, and no longer pressed together and made a wrinkle on his forehead. Not that he was any less cute with it, but you would much rather see your sweet demon smiling over pouting (or sulking, depending on how much you valued your life).
You were so enamoured that you almost missed it when he finished the file. Almost. He dropped his pen and threw everything back in the folder. With a flourish, he moved it to the “completed” box and stood. Grabbed his coat. Stalked towards you.
“I’ve finished the file, darling.” He settles the coat on the back of the couch and leans down. One knee settles next to yours and his face is close as purrs, “Now, what’s this about a reward.”
You slip between his arms and stand, gently guiding him to stand straight before you. He does so, but his body still leans in and almost coils around you. It reminds you of ivy on a house, or a snake on its favorite zookeeper. 
Gentle hands hold his face still and you press a kiss to his lips.
Dark eyelashes flutter closed and he inhales deeply. Both of you hold onto each other tightly, his arms roaming up and down your back, while yours are stationary, one gripping his upper back and the other his lower.
Before it can deepen, you pull back. He lets out a huff. He was a real baby about teasing, but that was not the point. 
You kiss him again, chastely pressing your lips over his, then the corners of his mouth, his chin, his cheek, his eyelids, his forehead. Gentle pecks, leaving the warmth of you all over his face. He couldn’t help but smile.
He could almost forget what (or more accurately, who) had put him in such a mood. Almost. But revenge was best served cold. And he would much rather kiss you and sleep comfortably in your embrace than plot and scheme. He was a softy like that.
Posted: 2023 December 8
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