I saw a post on here a while ago and wish I could find it again but basically it was about how OP doesn’t think wincest is unrequited so much as it is unspoken and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. because like . Yes. Yes. Y es . i’m pretty much on board with any kind of wincest u present to me, platonic, romantic, familial, unrequited, requited, I’ll take the freaks in any form no notes. But. a version of samdean where they are both AGONIZINGLY in love with each other but believe there is no way the other feels the same OR that they both know exactly how weird they are about each other but are afraid to look at it directly or bring it into the light because the ramifications of doing so are so monumental and it doesn’t really matter anyway because they will never change. Like I’m personally a big fan of “nothing physical happened between them pre-Stanford but whatever WAS between them was so all-consuming and terrifying sam had to get away before it destroyed them both.” But then it destroyed them anyway. and it’s forever just this monster lurking that they know is there and it’s made all the larger because they will never speak of it. they speak around it, they cover for themselves with “he’s my brother” over and over and over he’s my brother. He’s my brother. He’s my BROTHER. but they can never say the words. They can never yank the sickness out. THAT. that. Thaht. DISCUSS
the first time you commend gojo — whether it be saying he did a good job or that you're proud of him — his countenance shifts in a way that's difficult to read. whatever silly sentiment he was about to tell you fizzles out. there's a curious edge to his gaze, as if you'd just spoken to him in a foreign tongue.
his rosy lips part and close. is he at a loss for words? can gojo satoru be at a loss for words? up until this very second, you didn't think it possible. the proof standing before you is undeniable. it really doesn't take much, at least, not by your standards.
he's the strongest and that means astronomical feats are expected of him. hardly anyone thinks to sincerely compliment him. surely, he'll excel at anything with just a little time and effort. he's never dwelled on this point because it scarcely crosses his mind.
but god, the rush he experiences when being the subject of your praise is unreal. addicting. it makes him feel warm and appreciated in a way he's never experienced. what power you hold over him. the combination of a few consonants and vowels is all it takes for the strongest to feel weak in the knees.
I want to preface this post with the fact that I find Mileven completely adorable in seasons 1 & 2. They were truly at their peak and I adore them. I also absolutely love Dustin and Lucas. Now onto the post:
Dustin and Lucas make me so mad in s1 on behalf of Mike. Them telling Mike that he's practically obsessed and in love with El just because he missed one (1) day of school to help a kid who is their age and obv scared/in need of help, then kept her around because he thought she could help them find their missing friend... is insane to me.
I understand that they are kids, and that's why I don't really hold this against them... but it's so frustrating to watch from both a Mileven perspective and a Byler perspective. Mileven because they (or Mike at least) didn't get the chance to come to this conclusion on their own, he was basically forced to confront his newlyfound feelings in the middle of one of the worst times in his life. Byler because if Mike really does suffer from internalized homophobia omg did this mess him up even more. Like "oh, they think I like her so it must be true, right? Maybe I'm not so weird after all." type thinking was probably occurring.
Plus just the forced-ness of it all in general makes me uncomfy.
Watching Dustin say "all you ever wanna do is pay attention to her" as if it's a completely bad thing is so saddening to me, because yes, Mike really does care for El, but he's also so deadset on keeping her around and believing in her at that point because he knows she has a direct connection with Will.
Also Lucas's "El, will you marry me?" and Mike being so genuinely confused and annoyed by it is so telling to me. He was definitely not focused on his feelings for El, romantic or not, at that time! I don't see how he could be! His best friend is missing, he's known El for a couple days at least, and we know the Duffers don't believe in love at first sight (which doesn't mean they can't write it but still).
Idk, I know I'm not alone on this, but the whole situation just feels weird and slightly forced w/ romantic Mileven in s1.