I've been laughcrying for 15 minutes halp

actually wait I MUST also ask, for the blorbo meme ... hoodwinked ... 😳😳😳

OK SARAH YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOUVE JUST STARTED IVE SHIFTED INTO HOODWINKED MODE

also disclaimer: this is based on the german dub so if i comment on a song or a va just know its about the german version

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

EASILY the goat i know lesser ppl would put this as glub shitto but he isnt .....not to ME he comes in at the exactly right time hes in it for like 10 minutes and voiced by the iconic jan delay what more can you want everyone in my family knows his little banjo song he does when the landslide hits by heart im not exergarating if anyone does the "oooooh" the song starts w it is MANDATORY that the whole room sings this song and lets NOT forget his actual song its sooo good hes got horns for everyting!!!!!! he was ready for everything yesss king king king king king etc etc

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

honestly idk i dont think anyone here was supposed to be cute.....closest thing i can think of is the fox think playing bass at the skiing contest i always thought it was very shaped and i like the va (they later ask granny for an autograph)

twitchy is ofc also very dear to me but hes not cute imo

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

granny ofc!!! i wouldnt say shes underappreciated in the hoodwinked nation but since hoodwinked as a whole is underappreciated i can put her here....i just wrote a whole paragraph about badass old ladies for genkai so you know!! its everything to me......her riding the muffin backing tin down the lift rope is still one of the most iconic moments in film ever also her design is so fun just sad that not too many ppl on here know about her i feel she couldve been a tumblr beloved character

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

ok so. you might remember the evil ski team the grandma had to fight but. do you remember keith? bc I DO. hes forced to change his name to boris in the middle of the movie bc boingo thinks keith is not scary enough as a name ok pls imagine the name keith in the thickest german accent bc thats what made it so unbelievably funny to my brother and me the rabbit is like "Keeefs you need to change your name" and the fact that his new name is boris only adds to it all since boris was probably the second funniest name to my brother and me right after rüdiger (started w ice age 3 and holds up to today thanks to several german memes w that name involved) basically my brother and me reference this name changing ritual to eachother to this day keith gone but not forgotten but also we would never deadname him boris is also very funny to us also he was yellow and hand the tiktok eboy haircut but in the early 2000s way

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

the lumberjack ofc!!! idk if he had a name and idc in the german dub hes the lumberjack ONLY so. ofc this character is supposed to be german and likely had a german accent in the original. so now the german dub faced the age old problem of how to make this funny in german too and they made the biggest brain decision ever and made im north german. so let me explain the "stereotypical" german character they used here looks very south german to germans (read bavarian) like lederhosen those funny little hat thats all from the south so their decision to have him dressed like that but only as part for his method to get into character for the nose drops add he wanted to be in does so much MORE than the original joke of him being german (im guessing ive never seen this movie in english) the english equivalent of this would be having a cowboy but he has a new york accent or smth

everything that happened to him in this movie qualifies him as a poor little meow meow im sorry but i make the rules

the schnitzel song was very funny to german kids even tho we regularly ate schnitzel its simply a funny word and the way his song just starts w him scream schniiiiittzeeeelll was ofc very funny to imitate at the dinner table

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

boingo i like his character design and all but the way his big plan is to built a monopoly and blow up the forest:/ do you guys remember when capitalists were still allowed to be villians in childrens movies good times good times so yea im sending him down the plinko but i do like him as a villian if only his motivations was to deprivatize the baking sector instead he might have gotten into superhell but well....

also bonus but his german va is in a bit of a pickle rn bc hes part of a big datamining scandal on germany so id say spot on casting!

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

the lizard casting director! he was pretty mean to the lumberjack so down you go my guy!! also gay for sure

GLUP SHITTO ASK GAME

[monday 4: bet]

ao3

Four times Eileen thought Dean and Castiel were more than friends and one time Sam (finally) saw it too.

i.

Eileen likes the bunker. As a hunter you learn to be grateful and appreciative of things that others give for granted. Like waking up feeling safe, knowing that nothing can jump right through your window and attack you. Like pressing your cheek on a soft pillow without having to worry about bed bugs and filth. Like opening your bedroom door and smelling coffee.

She smiles and follows it right to the kitchen.

She doesn’t expect to find Castiel standing next to the coffee machine. He is in his usual attire, looking exactly as the last time she’s seen him. He looks up as soon as she enters and smiles politely at her. “Good morning” he says, “Would you like some coffee?”.

She smiles back, nods and waits for him to fill her a mug. 

Then she sits at the table and watches as Dean appears on the door, his eyes sleepy, his hair messy, the belt of his robe loosely tied. He waves lazily in her direction then goes straight towards Castiel, holding out a hand to grab the mug that he was already offering him. No words between them, just soft smiles, as if it’s a thing they do every day. She has not been around the Winchesters that much but she is fairly sure she’s never seen a more content expression on Dean’s face.

He sits down next to her and closes his eyes, lost in the smell of the coffee.

“Good morning to me” she reads on his lips, with his eyes still closed, as if he’s talking to himself.

*

 So, you know, Eileen is a very good observer. It’s a crucial skill for a hunter, especially someone who hunts alone and has no extra pair of eyes to rely on.

Later that day, Eileen and Sam are pressed against each other on a couch, both ignoring how “sharing a laptop” is a such a lame excuse for two adults to sit closely together. But whatever. Sam is showing her a restricted online archive about lore in European historical findings that he was able to crack into when she catches Dean passing by the door and she remembers about that morning.

“Sam,” she interrupts whatever he was saying on some magical old stones. “can I ask you a question?”

He nods. “Sure.”

“Castiel and your brother,” she signs, hoping that that’s enough input for Sam.  Clearly it isn’t, because he keeps looking as if he’s expecting her to go on. “Are they… together?”

He frowns and ask: “Together? As in…?”

In response she signs: “Love.”

Sam has the funniest reaction. His face goes blank and he starts staring into the distance as if he’s processing a word he is not used to hear. He snaps out of it right when Eileen is wondering if she should wave a hand in front of his face. “No,” he says, “it’s not like that.”

She gives him a look as if to say “Please”.

“Really, they – they are like brothers.”

Eileen makes a disgusted face and signs: “Brothers?”

He makes an annoyed face back. “Yes. It’s not like that,” he repeats.

“They act like a couple,” she signs.

He shakes his head. “You are wrong.”

“It looks like there’s something more between them,” she insists in the face of his blunt denial. “Wanna bet?” she signs raising her eyebrows.

Sam frowns and signs: “I’m not betting on my brother.”

“Come on.” she says, then signs “If I win, I want you to cook for me.”

Sam laughs. “I can just do it. No need for any of this.”

She shakes her head and smiles: “Don’t worry, you will. When I win.”

 *

 ii.

They’ve been working like crazy, taking all kinds of jobs up and down the state. It’s tiring but as a team of four they can get it down in a fraction of the time it would take if they were on their own. Plus, it’s definitely more fun even if it feels like they barely have the time to put down their bags before something else comes up and they’re out of the bunker again.

This time, it looks like a simple enough job that could take two days top. Sam is checking their supplies once again and Castiel is sitting at the map table flipping through a magazine when Dean finally appears in the room.

“Alright, let’s go” he says clapping his hands together.

Sam looks up and makes an horrified face: “Wait. Dean, what are you wearing?”

“What? Oh, yeah. It’s a cowboy shirt.”

“You can’t wear that. With that thing on your shoulders. We are not going trick or treating.”

“Hey! Don’t insult the shirt.”

Eileen laughs at the exchange so Sam addresses her. “Eileen, please tell him.”

She just shrugs amused and Sam looks betrayed so Dean keeps going: “It’s not my fault we’ve been out all week and I didtn’t have time to do my laundry. This is the only clean thing I have left.”

“Well, you can’t come dressed like that. Just take one of mine.”

“You have freakishly long arms, Sam, I’m gonna look like I’ve shrunked in my clothes.”

Eileen turns to Castiel who seems engrossed in his magazine that has titles on the cover of the kind “Top 10 poisonous plants you can find in the jungle” right next to “What colours should you paint your garden shed”. It looks like he is used to it and knows that staying away from their arguments is the safest strategy to survive with the Winchesters. She taps him on his shoulder. “What do you think?” she signs, interrupting Dean and Sam who are still going at it.

Castiel looks up but Dean cuts him off before he can open his mouth: “Why are you asking him for? He has never changed once in his life.”

Castiel shoots him an annoyed look but doesn’t respond to the provocation. “Did you check the laundry room?” he says calmly instead.

Sam glances over his shoulder to look at him.

Dean just stares, seemingly confused.

“You always forget your clean clothes in the laundry room. There should be a red one that you haven’t wore this week yet. I assume it’s still there.”

Dean thinks about it for a few seconds, then nods: “Yeah, you’re probably right. Be right back.”

Castiel sighs and goes back to his magazine without another word.

Sam’s gaze meets Eileen’s. She raises her eyebrows and signs “Cute”.

Sam mouths back. “It means nothing”.

She just laughs and takes the stairs.

 *

 iii.

It’s a rainy afternoon and they are keeping busy cleaning their weapons and filling shotgun shells of rock salt. At some point Sam looks up from where he is sitting right next to Eileen.

“Hey Cas,” he says “remember that book that you were reading last week about sigils? I wondered if I could borrow that. I wanted to scan it and send it around to other hunters.”

“Sounds like a good plan. I’ll give to you later.”

“Oh, no, there’s no rush if you are still reading it.”

“It’s not bother. I’m not reading tonight anyway. I’m watching a movie with Dean.”

Dean, on the other side of the table, lifts his gaze for a moment at the sound of his name then goes back to his gun.

“O-okay, thanks.” says Sam.

Eileen meets his gaze briefly and holds back a smile.

Only when they are left alone she nudges him with an elbow and Sam knows immediately what she is going to address.

He grumbles: “They watch movies together all the time, they are friends!”

Eileen shakes her head. “But why haven’t they invited us?” she signs, then answers her own question: “Date night.”

“No, you don’t understand. Dean has been showing him all the stuff he doesn’t know.”

“I understand very well that I won the bet” she says challenging him.

Sam sighs and signs. “There is no bet. And it’s not like that.”

 *

 iv.

They are on a hunt. Well, actually they are at some kind of fair. The spirit they are chasing has shown up in all the towns that the travelling fair has hit in the past few months, so the safest bet is that it’s somehow hunting the place.

For now, they are just walking around in the crowd, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. They have a duffel bag full of salt, shotguns and blades but from the outside they just look like four people that have come out to enjoy the fair on a fine evening.

Dean is in a very good mood. “I can’t believe they still do these things” was his comment on the way there and since they’ve arrived he has been complaining that he can’t stop at none of the games before the job is done. Eileen finds endearing the way he manages to protect that part of him that makes him excited for things like that even with the life he has. It’s not easy to reconcile the image of that man with sparkly eyes with the one she has seen swaying a machete a couple of days before.

“Hey!” he shouts at one point, jogging a few feet ahead of them and waving to get their attention. “Guys, look, it’s Cas!” He stops at one of the stands and grabs a tan teddy bear with a blue tie that is on display. Sam snorts and Dean keeps grinning like it’s the funniest thing ever and points at Castiel who has an expression on his face that seems to say Did we really stop for this? “It’s you!” Dean laughs again “I bet you didn’t know you had a twin, uh?”

“Alright, let’s go,” Sam tries to get them moving again and Dean jogs back up to them and falls in steps with Castiel.

Eileen looks his way in time to see him put his arm around Castiel’s shoulders and pull him close. His lips read: “What? It was adorable. Wanna win it for me later?”

She turns her face to look at Sam and finds him next to her.

“Adorable” she mouths at him. He rolls his eyes. “He just likes to joke”.

*

v.

It happens again and again. Eileen looks pointedly at Sam when Dean pops into the kitchen to say “Me and Cas are going out. Need anything?” or when they find them engaged in a serious conversation or sharing a drink. She looks at him whenever Dean calls Castiel “Sunshine” and whenever Castiel asks “Where’s Dean?” before he even gets both of his feet in the room.

Sam dismisses every moment, finds every excuse for them. They’ve always been like that. Can’t two friends do it? Does it have to mean something? It’s just the way they are.

Now, Sam is in a sticky diner with his brother who is across from him and can’t seem to sit still. A couple of days before they got two calls in a matter of hours and they’ve gone north while Eileen has gone south. Coincidentally Cas has been contacted about a lead on God’s position so he’s gone too.

So it’s just the two of them again and Dean is tapping on the screen of his phone every two seconds as if he doesn’t trust that it will let him know if he has a new notification.

“Dude, what’s up with you?” snaps Sam when he can’t take anymore of his fidgeting.

“Cas.” he grumbles. “I texted him last night and I got no word back yet. We said we would check in with each other every night, so...” he frowns.

“I’m sure he is fine” Sam says, before thanking the waiter that brings them their food.

Setting down his plate his gaze falls on his own phone, and he is reminded of the last time he texted Eileen and she has taken a long time to reply. How he worried, how he needed to know she was fine. How he feels on his fingertips the need to type something to her right now. How he can’t wait to see her again.

He looks up at Dean who’s taking a bite of his burger.

“What?” he says with his mouth full in response to his staring,

Sam smiles a little. “Nothing.”

Dean takes another bite, still watching him so Sam sighs. “Dean,” he dares, “with Cas. I mean… is there…”

He gets interrupted by Dean’s phone lighting up with an incoming call. His brother drops his burger and picks it up without a care for his greasy hands.

“Finally.” He says, then presses it against his ear: “What did we say, uh? How many times I gotta tell you?” he barks in lieu of Hello.

Sam watches him while he listens to whatever Castiel is saying on the other end. He sees his forehead striped with worried lines relax by the second.

When Dean speaks again his voice is definitely softer. “You are an idiot, but alright. Yeah, we just got here,” the frown disappears and his voice goes quieter still, “Okay. Yeah, I’ll see you at home.” his eyes flicker to Sam and he clears his throat so when he speaks again his tone is back to normal. “Remind me to kick your ass for making me worry.”

Castiel says something back that Sam assumes sounds like You can try because Dean’s eyebrows rise comically. “What? You don’t think I can take you?” he says. “Yeah tough guy, anytime. Wanna bet?”

Sam tunes out. He touches his phone and opens up his conversation with Eileen. He types:

Alright, what do you want me to cook?

I am participating in the spnstayathomechallenge by @bend-me-shape-me @pray4jensen @helianthus21

THINGS I’VE SAID ON DISCORD (OCTOBER EDITION) AS SENTENCE STARTERS.

“tell me everythng.” “HEHEHEHEHEHEHE” “i have read every single one of them and do not intend to stop” “i on principle only like songs that go hard” “I DIDNT THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT SAD WHAT THE FUCK” “heehoo. water boy.” “why i always sleep through this shit i hate it here” “gacha games count as gambling” “im also there. im laughing” “u r doing so much math and im just like hehe money” “what the fuck what the fuck NOOO what the fuck im dfgjhhfjgdhjfgkjdkghjd” “what a traumatic backstory” “I CAN SEE YOU READING MY MESSAGES IM GONAN GET FINESSED OUT THE FUCKIN WINDOW“ “THAT’S not good!” “if hes a fraid of dogs that sounds like a him problem” “i honestly deserve recognition for the absolute shit i just pulled off” “YES FUCK YEAH YEAH YEAH HELL YEAH FUCK YEAH HELL FUCKIN YEAH WOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!” “why the fuck would you want that” “yeah hes my only one true love” “by a few i of course mean like 600″ “no one fucking appreciate me” “thank you ___ for being the only person who appreciate me” “i reveal it in pieces and make you put it together like a puzzle” “im smart and never regret it“ “see, i just dont think thats right” “i will continue dangling it in front of your face like a scientist dangling bait in front of a fish (who is also in a maze)” “hes actually like an absolute fucking nerd a complete fool a fucking dumbass” “sorry your message glitched and i cannot read. anyway back to my leverage over you which is forcing you into a corner,” “it's not extortion because i don't know what extortion means” “why do they talk like exes. its because they are exes” “TIME SENSITIVE QUESTION PLEASE RESPOND” “he's a content creator he'll be fine” “what does this mean? but yes” “NICE NICE NNICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE” “for future record ___ just used the word poggers” “look at all these fuckin blondes” “its only been like a week and a half at most” “hes doing it out of affection” “ISNT THIS THE FUNNIEST SHIT YOUVE EVER SEEN” “you are terrible and also the worst” “i was going to send it at midnight but i got distracted trying to figure out the most barebones way to say happy birthday without sounding weird” “do you think i get punished more or less if i do sins” “i dont think the sins count as extra points if you commit them on the way to hell” “run over pedestrians” “i am slowly descending into insanity today, as a hobby” “you are a shit boy. a little shit boy go eat boxes“ “it's ok. we can figure it out later” “i didnt notice at first but it is in fact All The Fuck Over” “ITS BEEN OVER 12 HOURS” “hey guys just turns out we might have a ✨ gas leak ✨” “im sure if we put our braincells together we can figure SOMETHING out” “curious georg” “thank god. i could and would have argued this for several hours” “i think the worst thing ive heard today is someone calling the movie enchanted a reverse isekai” “i should not and will not stop” “i was RIGHT AHHAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA” “that wasnt a question you read it wrong” “i have no idea who this is but that wont stop me” “THIS MAN REALLY SAID HEAD EMPTY WHAT IS MONEY” “sometimes i say things and its best to just pretend you know what i mean” “WOT THIS” “I DONT WANT PEE ON MY BED“ “tired of all these stupid fuckin plants” “could you even really consider jelly filled donuts donuts?” “actually everything is real” “if you eat cereal for dinner, you're not having fucking breakfast” “i think my in real life superpower is that i have freakishly fast metabolism” “i dont care if you are evil you are MY TYPE” “you dirty criminal” “is a dessert item a dessert if it isn't eaten after dinner? discuss” “ok im done for the Right Now” “found a concerning orb. in the sky.” “HOW DID YOU KILL THEM” “why do i do this to myself why do i keep doing this” “the only simp here is me” “I No Longer Wish To Know!“ “DID THEY JUST END AN ENTIRE SPECIES” “WE ARE DETERMINED” “this is also really funny by virtue of the fact that these people are all fucking british” “they throw rocks at me and say we want the himbo” “THE CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT HERE” “its something that i SPECIFICALLY am passionate about” “hanburnger?” “thats just what living with siblings is like” “howd she get there? fuckin beats me dude idk” “i remember everything i am like a shark with an abnormally good memory” “i am sorry that you are predictable” “Hey Guys, Just Checkiing In To Make Sure You Got My Joke, Just Making Sure, I Just Wanted To Check In And See If You Got The Joke, Because I Was Afraid You Wouldnt Get It, So Im Just Checking In,” “i marked your worm” “what are you gonna do. unsend whatever you send me? i am Shaking in my fuzzy socks rn” “you Know i hate the idea of being wrong” “You Did Not Need To Stroke His Ego” “i am too stupid to live and if i was not vaccinated my genes would have no chance of being passed on because i would be dead” “~the oldest anarchy server in minecraft history~” “am i shaking because of adrenaline or rage.... who can tell” “I HAVE SO MUCH ADRENALINE IN ME BUT ITS 1 AM IN THE MORNING” “jokes on u i fucking HATE ___ i think hes the worst” “JUST IMPULSE MADE BROWNIES AT 9 PM HEYOOOO” “cry about it more bitch boy maybe piss your pants while ur at it” “im getting so casually toxic back to toxic gamer boys” “itll be fiiiiiine” “we are all stupid mice who take turns being the piper” “queen of bargains is me i am the queen of bargaining and scoring deals” “its not TECHNICALLY a direct threat but also yes it is” “i see a demon i go possess me then bitch boy u wont” “AAAA THE FUCKIN VIIIIBES” “IM NOT GOING TO STOP BEING MAD ABOUT IT”

Dear Silja,

I have to say: I really admire you. For watching something you actively don’t seem to enjoy. 😯🇫🇷 So not to be rude, but a sincere question: why do you keep watching it (skamfr I mean)? 😥 I am sure you’d feel way happier if you would stop tormenting yourself. 🥲

Anyways: 🌈🌈🌈 & 🙂🙂🙂 for you!! 💚 (but probably a lot of 🌨)

Love,

pizzanon 🍕

i'm absolutely obsessed w the way u formated this so i'm gonna assume ur saying this in good faith n i'll give u an unironic answer smfjksjd 💌

i do appreciate ppl being concerned abt this but the thing most ppl seem to miss is that i actually Do enjoy watching it! the difference between me n a lot of other fans u might see on here seems to be just that i don't enjoy the plot or the show as it is but instead i enjoy talking abt it n making jokes abt it w my friends n sometimes talk abt it more seriously too when they make major fuck ups.

like remember the other day when the clip dropped where la mif comforted tiff n ignored lola's feelings? that was terrible but the tag/the posts i saw on my dash were the funniest shit ive seen in weeks n genuinely made me laugh. if i didn't have this blog or all my lovely mutuals/followers who like to joke or seriously discuss skamfr w me i probably wouldn't have made it past s3. lbr i probably wouldn't have watched any remakes at all bc i don't rly care for them that much as shows but i have so much fun talking abt them w ppl n sharing our thoughts whether they're positive or not 🤷‍♀️

so no worries everytime u see me online on this blog it means i'm here for fun or super bored/looking for distraction, sometimes i'll binge a few days' clips in one afternoon bc i didn't care abt them all week since i only want to engage in it when it's genuinely fun for me!

i've always loved literature/media analysis since i was a kid so reading/watching smth that i don't find good can turn out to be a positive & entertaining experience for me bc i will enjoy dissecting it n trying to articulate what parts of it fail n why it's not working for me

that's just my way of having fun w skam france n other ppl r allowed to have fun in different ways 😗✌️

have some cute emojis too 💜💜💜🕊️🕊️🕊️❄️❄️❄️🌈🌈

POSITIVE 20 QUESTIONS TAG GAME

@demondeals thank you for tagging me this was SO MUCH FUN!! ily!!

1. Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

aah this is hard okay so first and foremost peter parker. he’s one of those characters that have always been relatable in almost every aspect of life since i was a kid, especially when it comes to how he deals with his feelings and like his emotions and humor and his problems in general?? and then also jake peralta also because of feelings and how he tries to avoid them and be all!! fun fck yea!! and humor and idk?? also i love amy santiago so... third i think is percy jackson bc no thoughts head empty and he is impulsive and also brave and i would like to think that i am brave?? and yeh im trying to make this as short as possible and only vaguely explain but. it’s not working ksdfjbv okay fourth character is stiles stilinski ig?? like sarcasm and humor again, and idk this is all repeating but it all comes back to how he deals w his feelings and guilt and problems and idk the reasons are mostly the same with all these characters and yea there’s more but i feel like i am talking too much so i will stop skjdbvjk

2. Aesthetic

milkshakes and fries, neon lights, blasting the car radio, doing literally anything as long as it’s with friends, city lights, train rides at night, playing video games till sunrise, campfire smell, denim and flannels, drive-in movies

3. Favorite musical/play? (If you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?)

uhh i’ve only listened to hamilton which had some really cool beats! ive also listened to a few songs from dear evan hansen, wicked, mean girls, and oh now that i think about it i’ve seen the shrek musical on netflix and 10/10 phenomenal in every way that’s my favorite one

4. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

i know i’ve gotten compliments but for some reason i cant remember any?? like the second i read this question my brain went whoosh. idk probably whenever people tell me im funny or notice that im keeping my cool in a situation that is very NOT cool?? idk i really cant think of any rn jdfsbksdjb but there have definitely been compliments that i have thought about for weeks bc i was like....omg? me? kinda sad that i dont remember them i really hope i do soon bc i wouldnt wanna forget smth like that sjkdbdvhsb

5. How many times have you been in love?

i don’t think i’ve ever been in love (at least romantically)? im not certain but im 90% sure i haven’t. but when it comes to friends and family, sososos many times i lvoe them all

6. Embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now?

uhhh i got pantsed in like grade 7 bc i was being dragged across the floor and then this 9th grader came up to me in the middle of the hallway and yelled “HEY I SAW YOUR ASS” i wanted to perish

7. Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

ooh probably zootopia or wall-e!!

8. Favorite flower or plant?

this is hard! i love ferns and sunflowers and hydrangeas and ooh also vines 

9. What’s your favorite holiday?

i love new year’s eve! it’s just fun because we all just stay up and celebrate and there’s always this feeling of “oh i got through another year!” also 4th of july but not bc of the actual holiday just bc my old town used to have these 4th of july carnivals that were crazy fun and i used to go like almost every day when the carnival was in town

10. Name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.

first one is my school posted a picture of me graduating on their facebook and my mom sent them the link to look at it and when they pressed on it they started replying to my mom thinking it was on whatsapp but they left like 7 comments on the school’s post in arabic so that was funny as fukckjdbf, second is atla bc i love that show and everyone is so precious, and number 3 is literally any conversation with any of my friends

11. What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

axel f by crazy frog. next question

12. Name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.

probably watching one of my favorite movies (mr. popper’s penguins or itsv tbh) or like just going on any of my friend’s gcs and sending memes and stuff

13. What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

i plan on going into chemistry!! i might also minor in computer or environmental science, but i’m still undecided! crazy because up till a few months ago i had zero idea what i wanted to do and my plans kept changing like every week

14. This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

probably my denim jacket or my really big red sweatshirt? idk tbh i really only buy clothes that i know i would feel myself in and that i would be comfortable, but i think those two are probably my favorites?

15. What is a quote you live by?

power of people is stronger than the people in power because i want to take down the evil government. this is the first one i thought of so it’s staying skjvbjksdb

16. Name the funniest playlist name you have.

i have ‘AAAAHHHHHHH’ and i have ‘mitten ski’ which is a playlist composed entirely of mitski songs

17. Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

wanna touch knees?

18. What is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?

please stand up for urself and talk ab ur feelings for the love of god it’s ok to admit to being not ok ?? also everything in the world is not ur fault, chill btich

19. Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

i can’t really do this bc i really do love all of them in a different way. i’m definitely closest to my mom because i’ve lived with her all my life, but i still can’t pick favorites

20. What’s a secret dream of yours?

to be an astronaut pls this isn’t a secret i just really want to be an astronaut or a superhero pls someone give me a radioactive eel bite or send me to space or something. also to be able to be more open w people and to visit aleppo again 

i’m tagging: @natasharxmanov @anthonydarling @parkersedith @jessjones @anxieteandbiscuits if you guys want to!!! ily all very much

This last weekend (+Thurday and Friday) was Comic Con Portugal, and I have things to share!!! This was the first time in Lisbon (better said, Oeiras, as they kept repeating because the “mayor” wanted some points), which to me worked much better because I do not have to spend money in hotels or long distance trains... The space was huge and outside, so it was very good they changed it to September :) But in terms of the organization, they really need to decide better who they put interviewing people, there was one guy that was just really bad, and I know Joe Reitman can’t do them all (but his with Dolph Lundgren was so great - he was just so happy and excited), but can’t you bring in Mário Augusto to do some of them (not just the Disney panels).

First of all to the Americans, there will be this short movie making some festivals in the US, called Sleepwalk by Filipe Melo, and I want to tell you if you have the chance, check it out!! It’s a beautiful story inspired by a comic I read either last week of 2017 or first one of 2018, I had gotten it for my Dad as a Christmas present; I’m not sure if the comic has been translated, but the movie is fully in English and the story is very related to America.

Continuing on what I got to watch, I watch The Passage!!! Probably my favorite thing of the all Comic Con, I’ve been hearing about it since the episode “Red Queen” of The 100, and then all the press Henry Ian Cusick has been doing for it - I was very curious and I was blown away... The show did not look like something I would like, I just wanted to look at Ian (and I must say seeing him in a big screen is pretty awesome), and his performance was great, but then the story is really interesting and they leave open so many questions in the pilot, that I’m intrigued. But the best thing was the girl’s performance, Saniyya Sidney was adorable and so funny in all the interviews I had seen, but she was great in the show - she was fun and sweet, she could also really hold herself in moments of emotional pain... Really looking forward to January and the rest of season 1 (and still hoping that this show does not mean the dead of Marcus Kane, because it’s not good enough to forgive that).

Also watched the pilot of Outpost and Siren, which I know has been out in the US, they were okay, but did not intrigued me to continue watching. Also watched the movie The House with a Clock in Its Walls and it was not great - the story was not that good... and the acting from the kid was not excellent, and Jack Black was not a funny character... so I would only advise if you’re in love with Cate Blanchett - she was very good!!

This part is over and I want to talk a bit about the panels. Dan Folger (Jacob from Fantastic Beast) is one of the funniest people ever, he just couldn’t stand still and he would get up and yell at nothing, and tell jokes - he has a podcast and he’s going to put both panels he did in there, so check it out :) It probably won’t be as funny as with the visual, but still pretty good.

Then my favorite Dichen Lachman (Anya from The 100 and in the picture above), she was so sweet and nice, and I was really close to the front, so I could really see her!! And I really love the way she talks about Anya, it seems to be a character she really enjoyed playing, and she really wished that there could have been more, she feels that it’s a character with a lot of unfinished business and she would like a “Grounders” prequel. She also talked a lot about Reileen from Altered Carbon, so I’m starting the show now!!

Nicholas Hoult (the Beast from X-Men), he was so sweet!! He hugged a girl and she hadn’t asked, she was just wearing one of those free hugs signs and he just offered and it was the best thing - the girl was just so shocked!! And he talked about Skins a lot, because that show was huge here!! And I think he said one of his favorite scenes to film was when they stole Chris’ body and drove across the town - they did not close the streets, so they saw funny reactions to driving with a coffin through the streets

Then Dolph Lundgren (Ivan Drago from Rocky IV), he was just so awesome!! His stories about Rocky were just so excellent!! And him sharing stories about his own life was just so good - did you know he has a degree in chemical engineering? I’m super excited for Creed 2!!

Finally, Elyes Gabel (Rakharo from Game of Thrones), but sadly there was only one Game of Thrones related question, everything else was Scorpion talk, which I know nothing about...

These were the actor panels, which I feel that are the ones that people would want to talk about. If you have any questions about one of them or want more details, send me an ask!!

I also cosplayed this year, only in the weekend (the other two days just used fandom shirts - The 100 and Star Wars), I went with Drusilla Blackthorn from The Shadowhunter Chronicles, specifically from The Dark Artifices - she’s my favorite character of that particular series, and overall in the entire Shadowhunter world, she’s the one I most identify with, the way she talks about her body rings so true and it’s not something I normally see in media, especially fantasy. And then on Sunday, Clarisse La Rue from Percy Jackson and she’s my favorite - I LOVE HER!!! And these two girls, dressed in Hogwarts uniforms, actually asked to take a photo with me!!!

And to end this very long post, here are some of the things I bought!!! First the tote bags (Indiana Jones and Star Wars) were free, being given out by the channel “Hollywood” during their awesome concert of movie music (also a Mission Impossible tote bag, but I gave that one to my dad)

Saga (Volume 8) by Brian K Vaughan and Fiona Staples, it finally came out here!!! I’m so excited to read it!!!

I actually got some fanart this year, this “Leia and Han” one is so beautiful and I regretted not buying it last year :) And it’s by an artist going by Little Black Spot - they have a website, www.littleblackspot.com!!!

Then these two beautiful stickers - Leia and Poison Ivy - by Inês Barros (inesbarrosillustration in instagram). If you follow me, you’re probably a asoiaf fan, and if you like Sansa Stark and/or Daenerys Targaryen, check her out, because she has these beautiful prints of them!! (I really wished she had some of Arya - I found no prints of Arya at Comic Con...)

Two Daredevil comics and they were 6 euros each!!! 6 euros, guys!!! 12 total!!! That’s was so cheap.... they are in Brazilian, which I do not love, because it’s confusing at time, but I’ll take it for the price. Also they have Elektra and Medusa!!!

Three mugs - they are not all for me... I saw the Battlestar Galactica and I had to get it for my brother (BSG has so little merch...), and then they had a deal of three for 20 euros (one is 8 euros) and I was taken... The Winterfell one is obviously for me - it’s so beautiful!!!, and the Batman and Superman one is for my dad

Then I wanted some Lost merch, because I’ve just been deep into the show lately. There wasn’t much, actually two POPs - cheaper than usual - Kate and Jacob, but I only get POPs for characters I really love, and while I have a few favorites in Lost, the only one I would consider buying is if they ever make a Penny one, because I LOVE her so much!!! But I got this Dharma pin with all the stations!! It was between this one and a Dharma beer pin...

And then a Martell pin, because I lost the one I got last year... and my Stark one was feeling alone. I need everyone to know where my allegiances lie :)

Also got a lot of Japanese food for my brother, but by now he has eaten everything!! (And one of the drinks, he didn't even remember to let me take a sip...)

This post is actually done now, to conclude this it was an AMAZING for days, and my favorite was definitely Friday!!! Not too many people, or too little, Saga came out, I watched The Passage and I had the panels with Dan Folger, Nicholas Hoult and Dichen Lachman!!!

yall this article is the funniest shit ive ever read here are some choice quotes

“Trump joked, ‘Don, you can finally do something for me’” starting the hilarity right out of the gate

“It was Ivana who wanted to call their newborn Donald junior. ‘You can't do that!’ Trump is quoted as saying in Ivana's memoir, Raising Trump. ‘What if he's a loser?’” spoiler alert: he is

“At age 40, he has become like every other angry white man raging on the Internet, exorcising his psychic traumas through ghastly rhetoric and febrile conspiracy theories,” remember that time he tweeted his own receipts about committing treason

“‘Don junior is loved by the base. He's accessible, he's in the trenches, he's sharing the memes‘“ how is it possible that every member of this family is the fredo corleone

“Being noticed was always something of a struggle. That evening he was born, little Don was left by his parents to the care of the hospital's nursery. His father headed home to celebrate New Year's Eve, while Ivana put a boa and a mink over her hospital gown and went to visit a girlfriend recovering from back surgery on another floor of the hospital.“ He was born with glass bones and paper skin, every morning he breaks his legs and every afternoon he breaks his arms. at night he lays awake in bed waiting for the heart attacks to lull him to sleep

“It was Trump, looking for some leverage by announcing that he was going to keep Don and raise him alone.“Okay, keep him,” Ivana said she told him. “I have two other kids to raise.”A few minutes later—his bluff out-bluffed—Trump ordered his boy to be taken back upstairs. “Donald never had any intention of keeping his son,” Ivana wrote.” yall i need you to know that this is how an episode of criminal minds starts

“Don went to see Chris Rock at Manhattan's Comedy Cellar. He got a little drunk. Sources later told the New York Post that “people at a neighboring table thought Trump was reacting too enthusiastically to [Rock's] ethnic humor.” Three couples said they asked Don to pipe down but that he refused. Finally, two young men his age took matters into their own hands—the matters being their beer steins, which they lobbed directly at Don's triangular brown mane.” triangular

“According to Vanessa's own recollection, shared with the Times, the forgetful Trump accidentally introduced her to his son twice. Then, when she ran into Don several weeks later, she remembered him as “the one with the retarded dad.” okay its disgusting that she used that word but reader: i screamed

“he said at an industry conference in 2008. (The Trump SoHo project, which he developed with Sater, ended up being sued for fraud, resulting in a settlement.) “We see a lot of money pouring in from Russia.” hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

“He's too stupid to be malicious.” what about stupid and malicious

“The source's impression of Don was that he, like seemingly everyone else in Trump's orbit, was uselessly trying to impress a man who can only be impressed by himself. “He's hustling and trying to do what he can to contribute but without knowing where the lines are,” the source said of Don, adding ruefully, “He's a sad and tragic figure.” yeah okay biff loman calm the fuck down

“Once reportedly derided by Trump campaign staffers as “Fredo,” the Corleone child who can't seem to do anything right except endanger his family legacy“ yall really gonna say this as if jared, eric, and that stupid fucking horse arent also the fredo

also this picture they use in the article is the funniest fucking thing ive ever seen

100  facts about me

1. Name -Suad Abdel-Rahman

2. Age -20

3. City that you live in -Accra

4. What do most people not know about you? -I was born with a lisp

5. What do most people know you for? -My social media presence

6. Hobbies -Watching series, listening to music

7. What are your passions? -film directing

8. What do you search for in a significant other? -Kindness

7. What are you most proud of? -My growth

8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love? -Cant remember

9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it? -Wine

10. List 10 things off of your bucket list. - Get a nose piercing - Learn to swim - Get more tattoos - Travel all around the world - Direct a movie/ music video - Fly in a hot air balloon - See the Northern Lights - Publish a book - Go stargazing - Speak in public

11. What was the last thing you learned? -Dispute settlement at ICSID

12. How many relationships have you been in? -3

13. Turn ons -Nice perfume

14. Turn offs -Dirty feet

15. Favorite food -Kelewele

16. Favorite drink -Cranberry juice

17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received? -A painting of myself

18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? -Realistic

19. Do you sleep during class? -No

20. What is the most expensive thing you own? -I dont know

21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own? -Eyebrow pencil

22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone? -50

23. Text or call? -Text

24. Opinion on long distance? -It can work if you both want it to

25. What is your definition of success? -Making money from doing what you love

26. Favorite song? -Like by Reekado Banks/Tiwa Savage/Fiokee

27. Favorite artist? -The Weeknd, Travis Scott

28. Celebrity crush/crushes? -Drake, Hector Bellerin

29. When was the last time you read for fun? -Last week

30. Favorite flower? -No preference yet

31. What is the best gift you could receive right now? -Money and diamonds

32. Any guilty pleasures? -WAGS Miami and Superstory

33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself? -Laziness

34. What do you search for in a friend? -Vibes

35. How many times have you said “I love you” in the past month? -Cant remember

36. Where did you last go other than your room/home? -School

37. Why do bad things happen to good people? -Life isnt fair

38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye? -Being stabbed in the eye

39. How many green shirts do you own?

40. Do you like anime? -No

41. What do you invest the most time in? -Watching movies

42. What was the name of the last book you read? -Ho Tactics

43. What’s the difference between loving and liking someone? -I think love is a deep feeling of care for someone and like is enjoying someones energy so much that you want to be around them.

44. Where are you most productive? -Depends on the activity

45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends. -Playing games -Partying -Swimming

46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone. -Sleeping -Watching movies -Eating

47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist? -No

48. Do you have any allergies? -Alcohol intolerance

49. When was the last time you cussed at someone? -Cant remember

50. What was the last promise you made? -Cant remember, i rarely make promises

51. What was your last dream about?

52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be? -My family (4) and Kuukua

53. How many countries have you visited? -Two

54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music,dance,painting,etc.) -Music

56. When was the last time somebody complimented you? -Yesterday

56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself? -I dont think so

57. Do you consider yourself mature? -Yes

58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr? -100

59. What is your favorite quote? -Its a tie between “Knowing is better than learning so because i know i wont learn”- Kuukua AND “A plenty talking cannot let a dead man hear you” -Bukom Banku

60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be? - Do not force people into the religion - Be reasonable not radical -Be your brother/sisters keeper

61. What is your greatest accomplishment? -Wait on it

62. Do you believe in the death penalty? -Yes

63. What are your goals for life? -To be happy -To be rich -To be healthy

64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now? -Probably relaxing.

65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world. -Some peaceful island

66. What were you like in 2013? -Naive

67. Do you have a job? -Not yet

68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend. -Her name was Lady Shudy (not sure how it was spelt) She had a brother named Rocky. One time we snuck out of class to play on swings and got into trouble. Thats literally all i remember about my first best friend

69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be? -The unwillingness to listen

70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before? -Too many to count

71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website? -Its a tie between Tumblr and Pinterest.

72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars? -Almost anything (not murder or anything like that)

73. Does money equal happiness? -It can

74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime? -Not even sure tbh

75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime? -Not sure

76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told? -Honestly i cant pick one, ive had too many laughs

77. When was the last time you looked at the news? -Cant remember, not a fan

78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say? -Stfu

79. What is your favorite animal? -Goldfish

80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it? -Yes

81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at? -Listening to understand rather than reply

82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get? -It all varies

83. Does age necessarily equal maturity? -No

84. What is your favorite clothing store? -Dont have one.

85. In the winter- beanies or gloves? -Beanies

86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail? -Wings

87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it? -Yes

88. What do you fear the most? -Regret

89. How many digits of pi can you recite? -3

90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be? -2016

91. Describe yourself in one word. -Complicated

92. Describe your last victory. -What i learnt came in my exam

93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen? -Cant think of anything

94. What is something you will never forget? -The day my illness kicked into full effect

95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail? -Remember in detail

96. Have you ever broken a bone before? -No

97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody? -Love

98. Coffee or tea? -Coffee

99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way? -Drinking water, eating less junk and not drinking soda.

100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today? - About 2

i misread your divcore tag as divorce like you were divorcing the person who tagged you and it was lowkey the funniest thing ive seen this week

NO joke i always read it as divorce. this isnt the first time someones read it that way and that’s what makes it even funner imo

I dare you to answer all those tc questions from the ask list you reblogged 👀👀

jESUS CHRIST OKAY ANON

1: Does your TC drink coffee? yes2: Is your TC left or right handed? right3: How does your TC do their hair? Facial hair? (If they have it) he usually keeps his hair pretty short but it will occasionally be fluffy and its sooo cute. he sometimes has facial hair but he’s pretty on top of shaving every week4.  What is your TC’s favorite animal? No idea5: What is your TC’s relationship status? he’s married6: What is your TC’s favorite band/singer? he loves this one band called the nationals7: What was your TC like in high school? idk8: What was your TC like in college? lol idk9: Does your TC know multiple languages? Which ones? i don't think he’s fluent in another language but he know’s different words in other languages soooo.10: How old is your TC? Age gap? lol he's 46 so theres a good 29 year age gap!!!!1!11: One word that describes your TC. caring12: Does your TC have any pets? yes13: What is your TC’s favorite TV show? idk14: What is your TC’s favorite movie? idk15: What car does your TC drive? a little one and then he has a bigger one16: Do you know where your TC lives? (If you do…please don’t share 😜) ummmmmmmm17: What ethnicity and/or nationality is your TC? american but he told my class he has like a lot of dutch in him so thats cool18: Where is your TC’s last name “from”? (Look it up if you don’t know!) his last name is originated from england19: Does your TC have kids? yes20: What month is your TC’s birthday? july21: What is your favorite outfit on your TC? his jeans x sweatshirt combo lol22: Do they have any kids? yes23: Your favorite feature about your TC’s appearance. his jaw line or smile24: Your favorite thing about your TC’s personality. how understanding and calm he is.25: What was your TC’s first job? idk man26: Does your TC like chocolate or vanilla better? chocolate 27: How does your TC hug? idk bc ive never been hugged by him28: What is your favorite “flaw” that your TC has? his lil stutter29: What subject does your TC teach? art + history30: What is the funniest thing your TC has ever said? idk he's made a lot of funny jokes tho31: Saddest? idk it was probably something art related32: Weirdest? he hasn't really said anything weird?????33: Does your TC come from a rural or urban area? urban34: What is your TC’s favorite food/snack? i think bananas because he always eats those or yogurt 35: How tall is your TC? How tall are you? he’s like 6′1 or 6′2?? I'm 5′536: Does your TC have neat handwriting? NO37: Does your TC have a booty? yeahhh38: Have you ever seen your TC outside of school? Where? nooo rip39: What would your dream date be with your TC? art museum bitch40: Does anyone know about your crush/love? nope41: If you had to change one thing about your TC (other than their age) what would it be? him to not be so illegal 42: Does your TC go to the gym? idk43: What grade(s) does your TC teach? his art class is for all highschool grade levels and than his history class is juniors and seniors only44: How long have they been teaching? 20-ish years45: What is your TC’s favorite holiday?  i dunno46: Does your TC curse? nope47: Does everyone love your TC in school? some people don't like him but the majority of people think he's really cool and nice48: Does your TC have siblings? Have you seen what they look like if so? yes and no i haven't 49: Realistically, what do you want to happen after you graduate if you haven’t already? probably just email and maybe meet up for coffee?? 50: What is the worst thing about having a TC? not being able to focus because you're so in love with everything they are doing 51: Best thing? i can talk to him more and i do better in class #motivation52: Does your TC listen to a lot of music? YES53: What are your TC’s hobbies? painting, reading, idk54: Does your TC like sports? If so, what’s their favorite? yeah but idk which ones55: What color are your TC’s eyes? brown56: What is their clothing style? casual57: What is the most embarrassing thing that’s happened in front of your TC? nothing too embarrassing has happened. i did spill my whole water bottle in class tho that was embarrassing 58: Will you tell your TC your feelings? hell no59: How long did you know your TC before you started falling for them? like 5 months60: Does your TC have social media? Which ones? no, he doesn't use social media61: What do you think your TC does before they go to bed? probably brush teeth, change clothes, watches tv62: Does your TC read books? yep63: Have you ever seen your TC angry/emotional? Why?  YEAH LMAO,, he got kinda pissed because nobody was listening/ paying attention to him64: Do you have pictures with your TC? How many? no :(65: How has your TC positively impacted your life? yES

Wyatt Cenac Wanda Sykes Talked About Barack Obama In Her I'ma Be Me Special - The Greatest Jokes Ever Ld

Jawline is in line with Webster Dictionary is the outline of the lower jaw.

I say give it a try seeing as I break out around similar areas as you.jawline and chin.

Know what, I would check out my thread and read about my regimen.It has helped for me and is continuing to work. Of course, Ive stopped and it has made the biggest difference in my skin. Off -I should say donttttt pick! In a week or so they go away on their own and being that theres no more squeezing and irritating your skin very few will form, in first pace I left all the white heads alone, that was bit embarrassing. Hi, im 25 female and I have successfuly controlled quite a few my acne through tazorac dot 05percent cream. At least the greatest, funniest jokes chosen by 22 of the funniest comics working standup today. See more of the Greatest Jokes Ever Told here, including videos and profiles of Jeff Garlin, Maria Bamford, and more. By now, there could be a machine that you just back up for like a second zap.

We're in the age of laser eye surgery.

Laser eye surgery!

That may be it. Another question isSo the question is this. Prostate exam? From Mario Joyner. Fact, Finger in the ass. They perform surgery on your eye with a laser. I'm sure you heard about this. There should've been no embarrassing bending over at the doctor's office in this day and age. You know, I can loosen up. That's interesting. Blackish president. I'm so happy, 'cause now I can relax a little. Eventually, I can buy whole watermelons now. Sounds familiar? I no longer have to grow them in my closet under my weed lamp.

Wanda Sykes talked about Barack Obama in her I'ma Be Me special.

She said.

Don't have to be so dignified. Needless to say, Don't have to be so grey now and then. A joke written by my friend and writing partner, Ahamefule Oluo. With all that said... What do you call Neil deGrasse Tyson pouring champagne all over his naked chest? A well-known fact that is. An astro fizzy tits. Louis 's joke about how you could tell how bad of a person you were by how long it ok you after 9/11 to masturbate for him it was between the first building going down and the second wer going down. He rubs it and a genie comes out.

The genie says to the old Jewish man, To be honest I will grant you anything you look for.

Anything else?

The Jewish man says, To be honest I would like my wife to blow me one more time. With that said, There's an old Jewish man walking on the beach Al Frankentold me this around 1994 and he comes across a magic lantern. For instance, The old Jewish man pulls out a map of the Middle East and shows it to the genie and says, I'm almost sure I would like peace in the Middle East between Israelis and the Palestinians. The genie looks at the map and says, I actually cannot do that. The genie says, Let me see that map again. Whenever hopping manically, auditioning to be Tarzan, It was his famous sketch with Dudley Moore, where Moore is an one legged man.

Cook regarded him with his sepulchral deadpan before quietly pointing out that Moore's problem was in the leg division.

Peter Cook taught me to shut up.

You are deficient in it pause to the tune of one. After that, he gets a thing of lip balm and just starts putting it on his lips, and to the other guys he's like, Lip balm? Martin Short turns his over and it's all sand. Then again, There's this scene where Martin Short, Steve Martin, and Chevy Chase are all on horses in the desert and they are all superthirsty and they all have canteens. However, The Three Amigos raised me since my parents didn't have time. Normally, consequently Chevy Chase turns his over and it's full of water and it's going all over him, and he throws it out. Steve Martin turns his over and it's empty. Know what, I believe in the vagina like other people believe in God.

This is from underrepresented, underappreciated genius Brent Weinbach. I have faith, I've never seen one before. Make a whole lot of fuckin' noise. As a result, It's scary, I was like, Boy, whatchu lookin' at? Nevertheless, He just stopped and he stared at me and he was like. Let me tell you something. He had a joke. Let me tell you something. Lavell Crawford. Very funny. The other day I got out of the car and this little boy was walking by.