started re-watching LM 2K with some friends who also make terrible life choices

went in honestly thinking , Hey! maybe I am forgetting things! Maybe it's not as bad as I remember it being!

well 1.5 hours into this 8 hour fever dream and I can say. I was forgetting things all right! quite a lot of things! but whoo boy I owe Past Me an apology, this is bad and every new Thing I Had Blocked Out Of My Mind makes it worse

Thoughts, While I Have Them:

why does it start literally on fire

I'll give John Malkovert this: he does seem disturbingly horny for the idea of inherent traits and inborn social hierarchy. Beeblevert didn't really seem to know what to do with his phrenology displays; Malkovert whispers to them lovingly at night and probably licks them. This guy feels about eugenics like Grantaire feels about Enjolras. This guy is messed up.

( ...filmmakers know that when they've got someone with lots of human skull measurements and phrenology and Types of Human displays, they're saying that character is into eugenics, right? I'm not saying it's a bad move, it can be very accurate and telling ,but like. They get what that's doing there, right? RIGHT???)

The dialogue...is bad.... it's so bad...

"yellow is the color of happiness"

this timeline is a shambles. Fantine doesn't have Cosette until after Tholomyes is gone, and then apparently holds out for YEARS in Paris, since Cosette is if anything a little older than her book age when Fantine meets the Ts; meanwhile Valjean doesn't get out of prison until AFTER Fantine has moved to M-sur-M. Which of course means there's no factory for her to work at!

...but then after Valjean (very intentionally) steals from Petit Gervais, we cut to Fantine working in the factory. The Nettle Cloth factory . Which means Fantine was doing SOMETHING before Valjean showed up to Disrupt the industry with his Tech Breakthrough but like. What. If she was doing something else then why doesn't she go do that some more after she's fired? Because she very much doesn't, she goes right to attempting sex work...badly

like trying it with Javert first Badly

and then he threatens to arrest her but doesn't?? who is this man, what kind of Javert is he ffs . Letting a Poor go unarrested? Seriously this doesn't even scan with his characterization in this series

Instead he starts stalking Fantine and giving her Helpful Hints. He comes in right after she has a client?? and tells her to go to the circus??

She goes and finds the dentist and tries to get him to pull TEN of her teeth bc for no reason he's giving 4 francs a tooth instead of 20 for the fronts. The dentist is the only character in this show with sense and says NO THAT'S TOO MANY TEETH, and he just cuts her hair instead And listen we've got another Fantine with Mostly Straight Brown Hair , it's not even that long, and I'm sorry but there's NO WAY that's worth more than teeth, why do adaptations keep doing this

also why do they keep making Fantine so passive, so dependent on people telling her what to do? She makes bad choices sometimes--often even!-- but she Makes Decisions and fast, she goes all in without any pushing, that is a defining part of Fantine's character! but everything she does here gotta be because someone told her she Should

another one where Javert inexplicably goes to M sur M to see Cosette. Why? What possible reason for this?? he almost seems like he has a weird crush on Fantine rather than JVJ but that's. That's incoherent, for this character. even in this series!!

I've written so much and haven't even gotten to Valjean officiating a wedding for, apparently, a famous former sex worker in the town ? this is mentioned once and I don't think it'll ever be relevant again

1.5 hours in, Points For: a very cute little donkey, Petit Gervais having his Marmot, some very nice architecture, Baptistine existing

Unpoints for: everyone's bafflingly inconsistent characterization, the absolute mess of a timeline, Myriel still living in the palace but letting homeless people sleep on the floor?? , lots of very pointless Walking Around Time , Thenardier Sex , why do directors think I want to see them get it on, Please Stop

Akio trying to convince Utena in the last episode that Anthy's suffering is a tragic but inevitable facet of reality and nothing can be done about it despite him being the primary one responsible for her suffering, and this being part of his smoke and mirrors illusion through which he maintains control, acting like his tower is the highest place in the world and he is the end of the world and there's nothing beyond the limits of his power and it's naive and delusional to think otherwise...and Anthy having internalized this idea that there's no hope for her and there's no possible future for her beyond Akio's abuse...and Utena rejecting this ultimately not out of some abstract idea of heroism or nobility or some clear idea of how to fix things but simply because she cannot accept it and she loves Anthy too much to not try to do something...and that giving Anthy the hope and courage to believe in a future where she can be loved and be happy and the strength to choose to leave herself and even subtly mock Akio's own immaturity and self-delusion on her way out the door as she goes to step over the line to the outside world while Akio is shocked because he never considered that his power over her was not absolute and he too believed in the indestructibility of the system he created...the revolution was the power to imagine the future!! the world (the stage) is free and wide!!

idk if this is a hot take but I don't think Armin is friendly. I think people find him generally off-putting. Like, people think he looks sweet, but also find him strange; for the topics that interest him, the way he didn't stray far from Eren (& Mikasa) socially, and his general demeanor.

I think that as Armin established himself more as he grew up, he developed better interpersonal skills that compliment his rhetorical prowess. I think he's the type of person who sees value in life and in minimizing harm. He offers kindness to his friends and understanding to all. But I don't see him as particularly "friendly"

Nico telling Percy that he's not his type has less to do with his looks but more to do with his personality. This has bothered me for a while but especially now because Walker looks like Will Solace. It's a funny joke and everything but my problem is that people take it as the truth and not just a joke. On multiple posts I've seen people say that its more about Percy's personality and other people dismiss those comments.

There are multiple times in BoO that Nico alluded to his crush on Percy fading due to his personality:

When they're eating farturas in Portugal, Nico thought about what Percy would say about them. Nico then said, "The older Nico got, the more juvenile Percy seemed to him, though Percy was three years older. Nico found his sense of humor equal parts endearing and annoying. He decided to concentrate on the annoying." Nico realized how immature Percy is and doesn't appreciate his humor anymore. Nico reflected on how their personalities and senses of humor don't mesh as much because they have different levels of maturity. He's starting to grow up out of his crush on Percy.

During another scene in Portugal, Hades told Nico that one of the seven was going to die. Nico responded, "To his surprise, his thoughts didn't leap first to Percy. His primary concern was for Hazel, then for Jason, then for Percy..." Nico has other people in his life that he cares about. It seems wrong to assume that Nico didn't think of Percy first because he's not into his looks anymore. That assumption would make Nico seem shallow and Nico's known for being the opposite since he cares about people feeling included like with Hestia and Bob.

Nico got excited when Reyna said one of her ancestors was a pirate. He said, "Even before he got into Mythomagic, he'd been obsessed with pirates. Probably that was one reason he'd been so smitten with Percy, a son of the sea god." Nico liked the idea of Percy because he reminded him of his previous obsession of pirates. Nico liked the connection that Percy had with the sea. Since Nico was also obsessed with Mythomagic, Nico also liked the idea of Percy as a demigod. Percy being a son of Poseidon perfectly fit under two things Nico was fascinated with.

Right before Nico told Percy about his crush, he said, "Nico studied his face- his sea green eyes, his grin, his ruffled black hair. Somehow Percy Jackson seemed like a regular guy now, not a mythical figure. Not someone to idolize or crush on." While Nico does bring up Percy's looks, that's not the only reasoning for not crushing on him anymore. Percy's "mythical figure" status is more about how strong he is and the fact that he's one of the most powerful demigods that Nico knows. Nico looked up to Percy because he was the ideal demigod in Nico's eyes. If Nico idolized Percy only for his looks, it would go back to him being shallow.

Nico put Percy on a huge pedestal and was infatuated with him for years but that doesn't mean that Nico only liked him for his looks. Nico grew out of his crush after he stopped idolizing Percy as a person.

Anyone else thinking about how qPhilza essentially said that he thinks that death on Quesadilla Island is defined by its impermanence?

Because I still am, and it’s such an interesting thread to follow guys! Especially since when he was talking to Chayanne about it, he was referencing both the adult residents of the island and the dead eggs.

For the adults, we know they have respawn mechanics that can often render death down to an annoyance or even a joke. Then, there are the dead eggs, who can apparently still communicate and have conversations as ghosts despite being fully dead. From this, it is CLEAR that death is not actually the end for anyone who lives on this island. They can choose to be present regardless.

(Plus, we know that the Federation ultimately has control over the eggs’ lives. They have 100% been able to return them in some ways in the past like with Bobby’s final goodbye).

SO YEAH! Those examples of death were in qPhilza’s mind when he asked ‘what even is dead’ on the island? And that is fascinating because it’s genuinely so different from what he knew!!!

During his talk with Chayanne, Phil took the opportunity to explain the nature of the Death that he knows and is most is familiar with. It’s a Death that is permanent. He even addressed it as /real/ and distinguished it from that of the island.

Just the way he speaks about it really conveys the permanence and deep significance that Death held in the world he comes. It is a fundamental difference which highlights a distinction between Philza’s past and the reality he’s now living on Quesadilla Island.

For me, this also so clearly explains why he reacts to deaths on the island the way he does!!

At this point, he’s been on Quesadilla island so long that he has become very desensitized to the deaths of his fellow adults. To him, their deaths are nothing /permanent/ because that’s not how Death on the island works. Unlike where he’s from, he holds a confidence that any of his friends can come back with enough action.

HOWEVER even if he’s accepted this to be true for his friends, he can’t shake his own instincts. As much as he wants to think death is something safer here, he’s still from a world where Death is something entirely different. QPhilza is a deeply anxious and paranoid man who will probably never quite trust the idea that dying is okay. He might be connected to Death, but he is still a survivalist.

I think that QPhilza is a man who has felt true Death once before, and he will do everything in his power to avoid a repeat.

I wanted to analyse the different ways that their "deaths" affected both Pomme and Em (I say "deaths" because Pomme's was a nightmare, but still shaped her character). Both deaths were inescapable ; caused by undefeatable enemies, however while Em's was short and sudden, restrictive, being held by a leash, Pomme's was long and drawn out, breaking many totems, giving her time to think about how powerless she was as Phil tried to save her. They are narrative foils to each other in my eyes ; Pomme herself said she saw her younger self in Em. They were both young, new eggs - Em being not the absolute youngest, but still viewed and young and fragile the way Pomme was the youngest. They both started out as very caring eggs, with a love of flowers to show their affection. They are also very smart and calculative, Pomme choosing knowledge as her element and Em always paying attention to her surrounding. Em also initially had Pomme's protector mindset, which Pomme learned through experience. They almost had opposite character arcs in my opinion, largely due to the different circumstances and parenting styles they had.

After Pomme's nightmare, she hated how she couldn't fight back. Her parents reactions, particularly Etoiles, were to teach her how to fight and protect herself. They encouraged her to be strong and learn how to take a fight. Pomme's view of the world was also strongly formed by the fact her siblings had all lost lives before her, they were all in danger, they all needed to be protected. She was the only oen with two lives. Her life was less valuable, she must use it to protect others. Em, in contrast, after the egg hospital, is now the only egg with one life, rather than being the target like Pomme with two lives. Now Em is the most fragile, something I'm sure that's hard for her, as she got used to wanting to be a protector.

Em's natural reaction to conflict was to fight, however we first see that change of the day of the egg's bed trapping. She tries to keep up a strong front, but this time, she freezes, she walks around aimlessly, her hands won't work, she can't help, she can't decorate with Sunny and Tubbo. I think when Em gets somewhat stressed she fights, but when really traumatised she can't handle it and her response is to shut down.

In contrast to Pomme constantly being taught by her parents that the important thing is to be strong, and to protect others, reinforced especially by self-sacrificing characters like Bad, Em is consistently taught by her mother she should stay back, run away in conflict, and in fact they get in disagreement about this, because Em wants to help. This is compounded by Tubbo, who consistently teaches Sunny to run, and, when acting as a caretaker for Em, also encourages this mindset. Then when Em talks to her mother about it further, she reinforces Tubbo's teaching, that it's safer both for her and her siblings is Em runs away. But I think its Em's death that really solidifies this, in the same way that Pomme's nightmare solidifies that she wants to get stronger and protect her siblings and provides basis for later teaching. Children are malleable, and they listen to what they are taught and what experiences they have really shape them.

Em's death comes from being at the centre of the action, and, crucially, being restrained, not being able to run or warp away. This forms a strong correlation in Em's mind between being able to get away and being safe. This is then compounded the next day when Bad teaches her how to use the grappling hook to escape easier, and she often uses it now, I think it makes her feel safer. In the same way, Pomme would often unhide her armour, because she wanted to show her strength, and it reminded her that she was stronger now, that she has the power to protect her siblings that she's so scared of losing, and that she has to be the target, she's the safe one, the one with two lives. She also uses armour now to show care, making protective kits for Sunny Em and Pepito. In addition, Em's reminder of her death is flowers, flowers that symbolise change and transformations, symbolic of how her mindset has changed and now she realises she can't be a hero and just wants to be safe with her family. A reminder of Pomme's death and her mission is her scythe Vengeance, which she named so that she could seek revenge for her siblings. A scythe and flowers, two very similiar eggs, who learned very different lessons.

Em started out trying to be protector, wanting to be a hero, ending up realising she had to be a lover. Pomme started out as a lover and found she had to be a fighter aswell.

okay because people have shown up in my dms talking smack I'm going to make one blanket statement on the 1000 year loli chilchuck thing.

yes, there has been a problem with young girls being put in suggestive positions in anime with the "uhmmm she's actually a bajillion years old" excuse. yes, other characters don't treat chilchuck like an adult. yes, he is short with big eyes.

However, chilchuck consistently acts like a grown man. he- in both the manga and the anime- straight up just is an adult. He looks like an adult when he is any other race during the swaps in the manga. When the other characters get turned into half-foots they look similar to chilchuck. He is explicitly stated to have more dungeon and general life experience than laios, and he acts like it.

The 1000 year loli trope explicitly functions as an excuse to prey on people who are inexperienced and unable to advocate for themselves. Chilchuck is a parent, is a union organizer, has explicit boundaries that he enforces rigidly, and he is treated as an adult man by everyone who doesn't have a fantasy racism-focused character arc/issue.

I can see how if you haven't read the manga and seen that he has an established life that he later reveals (and haven't paid attention to him in the anime lol) you could get a mistaken impression about him. Marcielle does too in the source material! It's part of her character at the start of her arc that she has issues with longevity!

The thing that irks me a little about this interpretation is that it leans into the child-coded discourse that was prominent a while ago (she's short!!!!! but has boob???? ILLEGAL!!1!) and it does a disservice to the themes of infantilization as a policy maneuver hurting the working class.

I saw chilchuck and his labor advocacy for half-foots both as a metaphor for racism (obvious take ik) and for ageism.

The working gen z as a cohort are being infantilized and pushed out of job markets due to infantilization, similar to half-foots in the show. gen z is being maliciously portrayed as too young to vote, enter office, know themselves, know their rights, and take advantage of their resources. Simultaneously, child labor protections and protections against workplace abuse are being rolled back in the US. In Japan, young people are being worked to the bone for nothing and are becoming disenfranchised as a generation while simultaneously expected to be the labor faction that supports the postwar generations in their old age.

Chilchuck's being treated poorly I saw as a clever commentary on the ways infantilization allows for protections to be stripped away under the guise that "oh it's just a job for teenagers- they don't need more than minimum wage" or "let the kids rescue the economy! they're always complaining about that job market!" while simultaneously stripping away rights under the guise of protection- "We can't have that on the internet! think of the children!" "to protect these young people we must raise the age of medical consent for hormones/reproductive health decisions!"

Kui's work with this series spoke to me on many levels, and specifically, the infantilization issue touched me in a way that few other pieces of media have. The struggle to be taken seriously in a stem field as someone young, as someone female, and as someone who had a high-pitched voice to the point I did years of voice training to be taken seriously, chilchuck's character resonated. I (kinda) understand your instinct to think "SHORT! CHILD! RALLY THE MASSES AND KILL THE PEDOS!!1!" but in this case, it's misdirected- mostly because the author was trying to use this misdirection to prove something to you, the reader.

Kui consistently makes cutting commentary on modern issues, the show's take on food neutrality as its headliner, but also the author's takes on cultural issues and the environment (with a focus on our place in the food web as animals). I feel that reducing chilchuck's very conscious position as a tradesman and an activist discounted due to his apparent age down to "1000 year loli ewwww let's send this random tumblr user suicide bait" just displays a lack of critical analysis of the show and a level of disrespect towards Kui and the work as a whole.

TL:DR- stop sending me kys messages I'm fucking that old man

it’s the fishes again!

finally some more mermay shtick with my Bloodmoons! Enjoy the doodles!

Ooh, I don’t think I said it before, but each twin set is based off different fish! The separated ones are both sharks, a great white shark and an orca respectfully; the ones mostly in greyscale are deep sea fish, an angler and a Black Sea dragon; and the ones in the jacket are extremely poisonous, blue (technically red) ringed octopus and box jellyfish!

My thoughts on how the Milgram mv machine works based on the evidence we have:

(I know there’s been discussion about where exactly the interrogations take place, but wherever they are,) the prisoners are made to sit in a specific chair near the wall that houses the machine.

It’s ordinarily hidden, but the wall panels shift aside to reveal it when the mechanical sounds play in the dramas. As well as the walls moving, the chair transforms to restrain the prisoner and attach whatever it takes to access their brain. The fact that none of the more frightened prisoners try to run or break it makes it seem like they physically cannot. This is why Fuuta sounds so panicked, and why Amane is suddenly helpless in front of Es in their T1 vds.

(My mind conjures very classic sci-fi mad scientist machines with wires, pipes, lights, nodes, needles, etc, but I’d love to hear how other people visualize it.)

In some vds (maybe all? I’d need to check,) you can hear Es take some steps right before their iconic line -- it would make sense that for safety reasons, the power mechanism is placed across the room. Once again it could be anything, but the sound effect makes me think of one of those giant wall-mounted levers you have to pull down.

The voice dramas don’t really provide the type of crime details that an actual interrogation would reveal, and it’s odd that they’re placed before the extraction rather than after Es gets to see the new details. This leads me to believe the machine functions with priming. All Es needs to do is get them talking about their murder, so it’s on their mind.

The video produced is much like a (non-lucid) dream. Even if the prisoners figure out that this is how it works, they can’t control it just by thinking really hard about something else. The murders produce the strongest emotional affect, and that’s what it picks up on. If someone else used the machine, it would default to whatever gave them the strongest emotional reaction in the ~15 minutes beforehand, hence why Es’ video focuses on their daunting task ahead. (The Undercover theory is still a bit loose, though, given the private shots that Es wouldn't have known about). It’s why the videos are usually closely linked to the vd topics/beats. I also like to think that the reason their prisoner colors appear so much is because they’re looking at those colors on their uniform 24/7.

The bell rings to inform Es that it’s the optimal time to use the machine -- the prisoner has been thinking about things for long enough that the video will be about their crime, and if the conversation lasts much longer they’ll start thinking of other things. It’s at a different time for each prisoner because it’s based on the specific conversation. I guess Jackalope is listening in to the interrogation, timing it perfectly. (The only one that kind of messes with this theory is Yonah, because they just keep talking afterwards lol, but it could just show that the interrogation is still in Es’ control.)

Their “Sing your sins” is the final priming nudge to get them to think of their actions as a sin, revealing their guilt.

Once activated, the prisoner enters a sort of trance/sleeping state. It’s very much like REM sleep, with the machine forcibly activating neurons and recording the output. The prisoners have asked Es what they saw, meaning they don’t remember the mvs. I like to think the prisoners do experience the mv in real time, acting as the major version of themself that appears, but can’t remember it afterwards. It’s when you experience a dream, but as soon as you wake up you’re just left with fleeting emotions and memories right on the tip of your tongue.

The video plays immediately upon extraction -- whether on a huge projection or little screen depends on which room it’s in. It simultaneously saves the memory so that Es can rewatch it later (on those old TVs in the jailbreak mix). The machine downloads the song and video together, but requires special parts to retrieve them. The technology is pretty new and fragile, so if one is broken, there might be a delay between when Es can hear the extracted song and see it with the video. (That’s my justification for Kotoko’s delays -- after 9 prisoners the parts wear out, or maybe Mikoto himself overheats it with his complex situation.)

Based on the lack of conversation we get afterwards, I picture Es leaving before the prisoner wakes from the trance. The machine adjusts their brain back to normal before they awaken, restraints freed and able to return to the rest of the prison.

It’s very much like a dream, so it’s not harmful despite the amnesia/head injuries the prisoners have. It does, however, exhaust them. Brain activity alone takes a lot of energy, so forced brain activity with added emotional strain would cause them to feel pretty drained the rest of the day.

I haven't even started Leah's romance route yet but I've already got their entire relationship and dynamic mapped out in my head.

Rambling into the void, but my female farmer OC, Mili, is basically a female himbo. I'd like to think that she doesn't really get all the passive aggressive jabs Leah makes to the farmer in the beginning of the game, and it makes Leah feel kinda bad abt it later on. As they grow more familiar with each other, I'd believe Mili's tenacious attitude eventually wears down Leah's defensive walls and she starts to grow fond of Mili and her lil' antics (much to Leah's own horror).

And since Mili is kinda airheaded but kind, she's easy to take advantage of, even if others don't exactly have any ill intentions. This would start to annoy Leah as she sees Mili running around helping everyone and their dog around town, and she starts to get kinda overprotective of Mili, and chastises her for never being able to say no to anyone (both farmer siblings are like this tbh). I kinda headcanon that Leah hates Scott bc 1. She's lowkey jealous that Mili and Scott hang out a lot in the mines (but she can't bring herself to go to there herself, its gross and dirty and also there's no reception) but mainly bc 2. She thinks Scott is absolutely full of shit with his museum that exists purely due to all the donations Mili makes to it, but he essentially takes all the credit for. Mili disagrees, but regardless, Leah and Scott don't get along.

After they start dating, Leah becomes an overprotective but proud gf who loves showing Mili off to her followers. The only thing is that she despairs over Mili's lack of fashion sense, esp since Mili's older sibling, Lu-Ran, is perfectly well-dressed themselves. So it becomes her hobby to dress Mili up in cute but practical clothes.

On Mili's end, she's just a simple girl with simple thoughts. Leah is a drop-dead gorgeous gf with a heart of gold (according to Mili, disagreed with by many others). She doesn't really get all the influencer stuff but she's supportive and likes to chat with Leah's followers on livestreams. She doesn't know that Leah's followers have basically formed a Mili Fan Club/Protection Squad.

I also like to think that Leah is a lifestyle influencer and environmental advocate. She donates the money made during livestreams and sponsorships towards environmental research and causes. My headcanon is that she's one of Ling's main sponsor (anonymous of course) for her coral research.

Overall, I'm a big fan of "opposites attract" tropes, so I am obsessed with my OC Mili and seeing how the relationship dynamic with Leah would work out. Mili would help Leah become more emotionally vulnerable and be less rigid, while Leah would be a solid rock in Mili's chaotic life who helps keep her grounded and remind her to take care of herself and not just others. Leah is a bit antisocial though, despite being an influencer, so being together with the social butterfly that Mili is would be quite interesting. With Mili as the bridge, Leah would eventually open up to other villagers too and become friends with Mili's friends too (other than Scott of course). From the get-go, Leah would get along very well with Mili's older sibling (my other farmer OC), Lu-Ran, as they're very down-to-earth, quiet and acceptably-dressed (to Leah's standards).

Anyways, if you actually read my word vomit, thank you for entertaining my 2am brain ramblings.

Momo holding Mina as she cries in the hospital. Helping Kaminari out of UA, and again having to watch and hold one of her friends as they cry over someone they care about

I think about Momo being the good vice class president she is, being the caring friend she is, and then I remember this

For all we know, maybe she did get that comfort she needed after discovering Midnight's body. But there's 2 things I'm thinking about, 1) The way she's been known to dismiss her tears as nothing (probably back in the final exam arc is the best example) and the way she curls into herself here, hides her face from everyone, and 2) How we see this panel and the next time we see her, she's comforting Mina. Concentrating on someone else's sorrow, which to me seems like an effort to be strong for herself and therefore for others around her

I love the little differences q!bbh uses to talk to his kids :

conversations with pomme are so deep lately, she's the one he told about how death works with him, she's the first one witnessing the colorblindness fadind. He always use kind, reassuring words, promissing what he can and saying he'll try his best for the rest. He knows she's tough but his goal is to protect her too from worrying more than she does already and protect her sweet side.

with dapper, it's more straigthforward, talking about how the only good method is to suppress your feelings, talking about the threats and fears he has. Still trying to be positive, but more recognising that there's a danger very real. He sees his son's fears too, but they're made of the same wood (if that's an expression in english as it is in french), so he feels his son can take it maybe more. Reassuring by trying to make him ignore i guess ?

In both cases, he still assures everything will be ok, but in one case he only shows the positive things, and on the other, he shows more of what frightens him i feel.

Idk, it just stroke me now, how conforting and reassuring he was rn with pomme, and how he kinda brushes things away faster with dapper.

"bravo is so entitled for assuming that tangos life would be his" "bravo is so annoying for barging in there and ruining everything" SHUT UP!!! hate when people hate on bravo. like put yourself in his shoes for a minute. he just went into a portal thinking he was joining this server of absolute legends. and then he was in, quite literally, hell. he probably didn't even get to have that one last look at the sun, he didn't even appreciate what he had, before it was all gone. do you know how crazy that would make you? do you have any idea how absolutely insane you could go? and, mind you, he has no idea who tango is or what conditions he was living in. he just knows they swapped places. like it is no surprise that he gets to double life and guesses that that life was supposed to be his, that soulmate was supposed to be his, those friends were supposed to be his — because he has no other information???!!!! and all he sees is this guy who looks like him but /wrong/ and he's living the life that he, for all intents and purposes, should have had. would you not be furious? really, would you not be furious?

woah there pardner, that’s a lot of heat to bring to the person who created bravo. i’m not sure if this is directed at me, or the anon from that last ask i answered, or any of the many readers who’ve been leaving comments along those lines in the tags/reblogs of the fic? and maybe i’m just misreading the tone here and ur just asking rhetorically, but uh, here’s the thing.

i do know how insane those circumstances could make someone, cuz i wrote it. of course bravo has the right to be furious for what happened to him. it’s a horrible, tragic thing. it was never supposed to be unreasonable that he made the choices he did, especially with atlas’s deliberate manipulation muddying the waters. and as far as bravo knew for those latter five years in hels, tango was directly responsible for all of it. that’s more than enough of a basis to build a grudge. maybe even enough of a grudge to overlook the torture that tango had been put thru, after he discovered the old farm (remember, he was under no false pretenses that tango would be returned back to the farm. atlas made that very clear).

that is, up until they actually meet. until bravo finds out, 100% for certain, that tango never intentionally stranded him in hels, never knowingly swapped their lives. it was- as far as they know- a random glitch of fate. now, tango did have his suspicions after learning about helsknight and chose not to come forward, so in that regard he cost bravo a few extra years in hels that could’ve been avoided otherwise. so in that, bravo’s anger is absolutely justified.

but the thing is, tango is sorry for it. he admits his mistake and apologizes. and it’s not that bravo doesn’t believe him in that moment- he just doesn’t care. he’s still completely fine with sentencing tango back to that endless lifetime of suffering, as ‘payback’ for ‘stealing his life.’ all while still claiming to be ‘better’ than tango despite choosing not to show forgiveness and mercy.

that’s where the limit is for many readers. that moment is what prompted a lot of those “how dare bravo” reactions. not to mention that a lot of bravo’s perceptions of the situation are deeply embedded in bigotry: he’s the ‘better’ fit for hermitcraft and ‘better’ partner for jimmy bc he’s an overworlder and not a mob hybrid. he deserves ‘better’ than being stuck in hels- as if none of the other hels residents deserve better simply bc they were born there. in bravo’s eyes, bc tango is a hels and a mob hybrid, he is inherently an evil monster, even though bravo’s witnessed true humanity from him and has chosen not to show the same. it’s bigotry and a superiority complex and hypocrisy all wrapped up in one, poisoning what would’ve otherwise been a fairly reasonable and justified (if a bit clouded by anger) reaction to his circumstances.

so i think that’s where the thoughts of entitlement or annoyance or frustration with bravo’s character stem from- if i’ve been interpreting the comments accurately, that is. and that’s more or less what my intention was with his character in the first place.

For a series where the slavery started off as kind of a joke, and moreover a series that's been largely aimed at children since its revival, I sincerely believed that actually whipping a character on-screen would be too grim for AvA. I never thought they'd go there.

Like I pondered the possibility that it'd happen, conceptually, to the character. But I never thought the show would actually depict it.

There are only so many contexts a whip can be relevant in; they have connotations. When the whip is turned against a person in distress, the atmosphere becomes blatantly cruel. There's no way to sugarcoat it, there's no blurry lines. Whips bring suffering. Their mere presence agitates, let alone the actual pain they inflict.

It's a level of dehumanization that's so much more easily and instantly identifiable as terrible than some other stuff that has been done in the series, or even to this character.

And it's especially deplorable that it was done to this character, given Chosen's history.

We don't actually know if he's been whipped in the past, he might not have been, but. Whether he was or not, the implications regarding power dynamic that are inherent in the presence of a whip are unmistakable. He understands, on some level, what is happening and what it means, even if his understanding doesn't approach from the same direction that Victim's does, or that the viewer's does. The scene pauses for him to react, after the whip is cracked. He sees significance in its presence.

There really aren't many ways to interpret a fearful person being mercilessly attacked with a whip. Especially if he's got a halter around his neck allowing his attacker to control his ability to distance himself from the harassment, which carries its own implications.

I see merit in the idea that Victim was trying to tame Chosen like a wild beast, and I'm willing to believe that that's the understanding which Chosen or Victim or both have of the situation. But as a viewer I cannot completely separate what's happening on-screen from the banal idea of a slave being punished. Horrific, contemptible, violating, disparaging, unjust, inhumane abuse.

And it's happening to Chosen, who already threw off the shackles of his own slavery years ago. And it's happening under the hands of Victim, emulating the actions of his own abuser...who happens to have been Chosen's abuser as well.

We only saw the beginning and the end of Chosen's enslavement; we don't know what all he suffered while oppressed by the animator. We don't know what Victim knows, of what Chosen has suffered.

Tools have never been used to restrain a character by the neck before, in this series. Strangulation is always done by hand, to win a fight, never to prevent them from leaving it.

Whips haven't appeared at all before now, in this series, much less been used against the characters. And then, of all the characters they could've picked, they pick the one with a history of slavery, a concept that shares a heavy correlation with whips.

It's messed up. It's so much more messed up than I thought the series would be willing to go.

Will's Possession vs. Billy's Possession

Right now I'm starting a post about Will's s2 possession and how it relates to both Will and Mike, but first I wanted to side step and talk about Will's s2 possession in contrast to Billy's s3 possession, and what their differences highlights in terms of the story and presentation of gender and sexuality.

From the outset, Billy and Will's possession are different right from the jump. Both involve forced insertion, although for Will the Mind Flayer enters him from inside one of his true sight visions, while it's implied for Billy that the point of entry was from the flayed-rat-meat-monster that was underneath the ironworks. We don't see this for Billy, but we do see it visualized when Heather's parents are flayed.

This difference suggests a higher sensitivity or openness to the supernatural that Will possesses but that Billy does not. Whether a natural ability or afflicted, Will's True Sight is unique to him. Unlike Vecna visions, Will is able to move about physically in both dimensions, whereas victims of Vecna visions/hallucinations stay solitary and are described as "spacing out" or are tranced completely. We also know that Will had to have been physically in the Upside Down in order for the Mind Flayer to enter him, as we don't see any Mind Flayer particles out on the field while Will is being attacked.

There isn't anything to suggest that Billy had any sensitivity to the supernatural before this, and I'm inclined to believe that his vision in the Upside Down is another vision from Vecna as he takes over his mind, rather than Billy being physically presently there.

A little bit about gender in horror

Typically in the supernatural horror genre, especially with occult stories, possession, sensitivity to the supernatural, and being a "portal" for the "devil" (the devil being the Mind Flayer/Vecna in a nonliteral sense) is gendered as female. The body of the possessed has presented an "opening" for which the masculine demonic force (the Mind Flayer was gendered as male even before the show revealed it to be an actual male) enters.

And yet, it’s not so simple as to say that both possessions are gendered feminine. And in fact, there are huge differences that help gender Will’s experience as more feminine and Billy’s experience as more masculine.

For one thing, the moment of entry is hardly a focus for Billy’s possession, and is suggested rather than shown. We see Billy being dragged down to the ironworks basement, but the show cuts away before we actually see the particles enter his body.

Contrast this with Will’s possession, which I already showed above, where the moment of entry is not only visualized but emphasized.

The reaction to their respective possessions is gendered as well. The focus of Will’s possession becomes his emotional suffering, while Billy, either reacting to and/or succumbing to masculine force, acts out violently. Will cries and finds comfort in his mom, while Billy dreams about attacking Mrs. Wheeler (and then successfully attacks Heather and orhers).

And perhaps this is meant to be exemplary of each individual’s expression of gender. My post here lays out Will’s femininity, and Billy seems to represent an inverse of this— a paragon of masculinity that Will can’t relate to. Will is sensitive and soft and artistic in a way that the people shun him for, and Billy is sporty and aggressive and sexual in a way that the town rewards him for.

I talked before about how the town views Will in my Zombie Boy post and my longer analysis about sexuality in the show, although I think in the past I naïvely believed that after season one the town was neglecting to see Will’s feminine side, seeing only a predatory masculine side despite Will’s character not changing. But this isn’t the case. If anything, it’s the fact that Will is a feminine man that causes the town to see him as predatory in the first place and to be labeled as such.

And yet, when both in the position of possession, it is Will who remains pacifistic, holding out as long as he can (until the demadog attack at the lab, but even then, Will is more just the eyes for the Mind Flayer rather than being the one actually doing the attacking) and Billy is the one who succumbs and turns on the town.

When Billy is emasculated, either through his dad calling him a “faggot” or through possession, he leans into his machismo and lashes out violently. When Will is possessed or faces outward hatred from others, he responds by holding true to himself.

I really love this one part in this story so much and the implication it holds within it that I always wanted to hear how other interpret it :)

for Seiji I guess almost all the people who would get closer to him and strike up a conversation would be those who wanna win the favor of the Matoba. or those who wanna crush him down, so I guess in short for someone to actually listen or care about whatever he says with no ultra motive is pretty hard for him.

Natsume was very upset and wary of him in this story, yet he was listening earnestly to him talking with no ultra motive whatsoever that Seiji without realizing found himself talking about himself naturally which's also in itself a rare case for him.

Seiji's pausing felt like " wait!! he actually cares and listen to what I'm saying even though I think he hate me so much, yet he earnestly listening to me .. and why am I talking about myself and my problems something I never did before to this kid so naturally ??"

it just for him to find someone listening to him without judging him or to actually care is something new for him, I guess.

also, this other part ...

I guess he also never had anyone worry for his wellbeing like this that he reflexively lied here as to not worry Natsume more than that.

Seiji is just bad at dealing with people who face him earnestly and actually show they care about him.

I find it amusing in a tragic kind of way.

that's why I said that Seiji developing a soft spot for Natsume little by little and that Natsume despite all his issues with Seiji that won't stop him from actually trying to seeing him past all their differences. our boy Natsume is just too kind for his own good T^T

if only that idiot learns a little from Natsume, or wait he actually learned something :)