hi! so idk if your request are open so if they aren’t feel free do delete this
so we know that in the love collection y/n and jisung feel really comfortable around each other and will go to each other for things but what if one day y/n didn’t tell jisung how she was feeling that day and cried in her room by herself? i just wanted to see how he’d react to that and his response
again u don’t have to respond to this!! ty ^__^
all ears - han jisung
love collection
genre: comfort, maybe a bit of angst?
pairings: fem!reader (infp) x idol!han jisung (istp)
warnings: readers' insecurities getting the best of her, self-deprecating language
notes: thank you for requesting!! i hope i did your request justice. (finally revealing y/n's roommate too)
wc ~2.9k | moodboard
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:
you feel dumb.
you feel stupid, absolutely stupid.
you hate the feeling with the utmost passion, but regardless of how much you detest it, it always seems to find a way back to haunt you months later, coming out from the depths of your mind into the forefront and creating a storm up there.
they're stupid thoughts.
thoughts that you shouldn't let get to you, but sometimes you can't help it. sometimes, they overpower you and silence your pleas to stop.
have you spoken to anyone about it? no.
your roommate, yunjin, has been on a work trip for the past couple of weeks, so you've had the apartment to yourself. no need to mask your emotions when you're home alone. on the other hand, jisung's schedule has been packed lately, and there is nothing new in his line of work. seungmin is on the same boat as your boyfriend; both share busy and separate schedules.
everyone has a busy life, and you don't want to burden them with things happening in your life.
when the b-word comes up in your passing thoughts, you can practically hear your boyfriend saying, "y/n, my love, don't invalidate yourself like that. you're not a burden, never. you're important to me; your thoughts and feelings are all important."
jisung always reminds you of how important you are to him. you know you could go to him for anything, and he'll be there to the best of his ability.
that's one of the many reasons why you love him so much.
the knowledge that he's there for you is one thing, but the one thing holding you back is yourself.
when you're in such a low and vulnerable state, you tend to shut yourself in, keep to yourself, and shield yourself away from others. you see yourself as an inconvenience or a burden.
the way you've rationalized it in your mind is that if you're tired of the shit happening in your own life, telling it to someone else would only tire them out as well. you didn't want them to grow tired on your behalf. it didn't seem worth it.
that feeling of self-doubt always pushes itself into the front lines from where it usually hides, creeping in the back.
you wanted to try and cope alone, get through this on your own, but you just couldn't. you tried to tell yourself it's no big deal and that they're just fleeting, meaningless thoughts that will go away and you'll be fine, but you know you're lying to yourself.
you know that ignoring your overwhelming emotions lately will only worsen them. it's been a week since those thoughts started again, and here you are, curled up in a ball underneath your comforter, pulling it up under your chin as the mental and emotional exhaustion hits its breaking point.
your cheeks are stained with tears, and your eyes are droopy and puffy. you were supposed to go to work today but called in sick. you didn't have it in you to face your work head-on today.
the moment you hung up the phone with your manager, you cried, sobbing into your comforter. you felt absolutely defeated calling in sick. you weren't even sick, you lied in order to stay home.
here you were, practically waving the white flag after the events of your life after your thoughts and feelings had beaten you down into a ball under your comforter. you hate yourself for calling in sick, feeling as if you should've just sucked it up and gone in, put on a mask to hide your emotions.
'so many people have it harder than you do, y/n. the fact you could even lie and call in sick is a privilege. look at all this privilege, and you're out here pouting, how selfish.'
you shut your eyes at the thought, nuzzling yourself further into the blanket as a tear squeezes itself free and down your skin.
'you can't even deal with your own feelings, your own thoughts, let alone some tiny ass inconveniences. pathetic.'
you feel stupid and weak. you feel like a crybaby.
your eyelids flutter closed as you sob into the thick comforter, letting out all the built-up frustrations in hopes that you'll feel better afterwards.
'j's one and only has notifications silenced. notify anyway?'
jisung's concern grows when he reads over the little notice at the bottom of your text conversation.
of course, he noticed you had been off the past couple of days, and when he asked what was up, you played it off as nothing, but it's jisung; he knows you like the back of his hand.
he didn't believe for one second that nothing was up. it was clear there was something, but he assumed you weren't in a place to talk to him about it yet, that you weren't ready yet. but now, you weren't even replying, let alone reading his messages.
jisung: good morning love, how did you sleep?
j's one and only: good morning
i slept okay, how about you
jisung: i dreamt of you so i slept better than usual ;)
i've got another busy day today, so i hope you have an amazing day my love
jisung: [photo attachment]
i ate a bento box for lunch today
jisung: [audio file]
exclusive sneak peek of a b-side
[audio file]
exclusive sneak peek of a skz-record
jisung: baby
jisung: y/n baby
he stares down at his phone, hoping to get a read receipt from you, but nothing. jisung finds himself swiping down the notification screen and swiping it away multiple times. on–probably–the fifth rotation, he pauses, an imaginary lightbulb flashing over his head.
jisung: i'm coming over
…
your sob session only further tired you out. you didn't have it in you to fight to stay awake, letting your heavy eyelids close as you cried to sleep around dinner time, curling up into a smaller ball as your tears soaked the comforter.
your eyes are puffy, your nose is runny and almost matches the flushed, red tint of your cheeks, your hair is dishevelled, and you have a prominent pout on your lips even in your sleep. the tears that fell from your eyes and stained your cheeks also bound your eyelashes together, as they glisten under the light of your bedside lamp.
a couple hours later, you're stirring awake, your head rolling left and right, and a tired groan leaves your lips. with a hum, you blink slowly as you come to full consciousness, and your brain is also slowly waking up from its resting state. after a brief stretch and a rush of endorphins flowing through your body, allowing you to relax, your limbs fall back into the mattress with a soft thump.
with a sigh, you roll your head to the side to look at the clock on the wall, registering that you've slept for a little over two hours and that there are a couple of hours left until midnight. you aren't starving, but you do feel like you need something to fill you up, so you roll out of bed and make your way into the kitchen to grab a light snack and a glass of water, snatching your phone off the bedside table before making your way out.
the moment your screen comes to life, you find a couple of missed messages from Jisung that you go to check first and send replies to.
j.one<3: [audio file]
exclusive sneak peek of a b-side
[audio file]
exclusive sneak peek of a skz-record
j.one<3: baby
j.one<3: y/n baby
j.one<3: i'm coming over
you: :O
i'm telling jyp
also i just woke up from a nap so
jibaby you should stay home and rest, i'm fine
"you're not fine."
you stop in your tracks while feeling like your heart has jumped out of your chest. a sharp gasp leaves you as your hand grips your shirt in utter shock.
walking out from the kitchen and standing across from you, the dark-haired boy's eyes are laced with worry and concern, and his lips pout the slightest bit as he looks at you.
"shit ji, you scared the shit out of me," you watch as he shuts his screen off, "what are you doing here?"
"it's friday," he pushes himself off the wall, "remember our little deal?"
you nod, mouth agape with realization. your little deal was that if jisung would come over on fridays when his weekend schedules were nonexistent or started later in the day, one of the reasons why he had a key to yours and yunjin's place.
jisung takes a few steps towards you, just enough to take your chin between his thumb and forefinger, moving your head around as his eyes graze your face. meanwhile, you look up at him with doe-eyed eyes, confused. he lets go of your chin and moves to take your hand, pulling you behind him as he walks into the living area.
"sit," he nods towards the couch. you follow his words and take a seat. stay there. i'll be right back. i made you some food."
you mutter a small agreement as your boyfriend walks out of view. a couple moments later, he walks out from behind the couch with a bowl in one hand and a cup in his other, placing both dishes down on the coffee table before he sits beside you.
"ji–"
"eat," he's quick to cut you off, but he's also quick to notice how sharp his tone is. not wanting to come off wrong, he quickly adds, " please."
you stare at him, to which he flashes you a quick smile. you're still quite perplexed, but you listen to him anyway; plus, whatever he's whipped up looks quite good, and you can't resist.
your boyfriend watches you eat for a few minutes before reaching for the glass of water on the table. the water is ready and on standby for when you need it. with a small smile, you exchange your food for the water he's holding, taking gulps while he places the bowl back on the table, followed by the water.
"tell me, what's wrong?" jisung has an elbow propped up on the couch, his hand coming down to pat the side of your head and play with a couple of strands of your hair. your hair is quite tangled after waking up from a nap.
"nothings wrong," you deny.
he purses his lips together before continuing, "you've been quiet over text all day," he tips his chin, nodding towards your face, "the red, puffy eyes and tear stains don't exactly back up your statement."
your appearance only further proved to the round-chinned boy that something was definitely going on. along with the ones he previously mentioned, your cheeks and nose were flushed with a tint of red, and your lashes were clumped together, a remnant of the tears you shed that tired you to sleep.
"i-it's stupid," you mutter, your eyes wandering away from jisung in shame.
jisung bites his tongue, taking a step back to observe you fully and your body language. he tries to put himself in your perspective before he says something. your boyfriend also doesn't want to come on too strong, as you're already going through something. he needs to use his 't' to his advantage while also keeping in mind your 'f, ' which is simultaneously logical but sensitive to your feelings.
"hey, look at me. whatever it is, it's not stupid," his hand travels down slowly, gently cupping your cheek. your bottom lip is tucked between your teeth as you meet his gaze. " if you want, you can tell me what's going on, and i'll listen. if you don't want to, then i'll still be here, however you need me to be here right now."
jisung's thumb caresses your cheek gently, paired with a smile as gentle as his touch. you lean into his palm, the word 'hug' leaving your lips with a breathless sigh, to which jisung adjusts both your positions immediately.
the hug becomes a cuddle as you both lie on the couch facing each other, your face buried in jisung's chest, and one arm is squished between you two and the other around his torso. on the other hand, Jisung has an arm under your neck, and the other is holding you close, the smell of your shampoo gracing his senses from how close you are.
your body relaxes but your heart still feels heavy, although it's an improvement compared to a couple hours ago.
jisung's fingers toy with the strands of your hair, occasionally brushing through and trying to gently undo the knots. his mind wandering.
of course, you and jisung aren't attached by the hip and texting all day, every day; there have been times when a couple of hours linger between replies. either you or he would send a message beforehand letting the other know that there would be a delay on your end.
jisung knows you like the back of his hand. he knows your habits and mannerisms. so when you weren't replying or reading his messages after the exchange in the morning, coupled with your demeanour over text and a couple of phone calls, he knew something was wrong.
he knows how you get when you're in the wrong place mentally and emotionally, how you tend to shut yourself in and away from people. saying you want to be alone when you really don't.
before he left the company building, he made sure to check in with chan and the group manager regarding the weekend schedule–wanting to spend as much time as possible with you. sure, this meant he moved some things around, and his sunday would be more packed than usual, but jisung wanted and needed to be there for you.
and you didn't need to know that detail.
when jisung unlocked the front door, he did it as quietly as possible. he looked around the living area and kitchen to see if there were any signs of you, but the kitchen was clean, minus a used glass cup on the counter. he then made his way down the hall and to your bedroom, cracking open the door slowly, trying to avoid it creaking just in case you had been asleep, and you had.
jisung slowly approached the side of the bed, knelt, and observed your sleeping state.
your room was dim, and the only light source was the lamp on your bedside table, thus a yellow hue illuminating your features. jisung felt his heart ache at the sight of you. the air of tranquillity from your sleeping state contrasted with the clear signs of distress that lulled you to sleep. your cheeks were still quite damp with tears, and there were a couple of wet spots on your comforter and pillow.
the sight of you asleep with tear-stained cheeks had jisung wondering what had been going on inside your head the past couple of days, wanting to know the gravity of the storm inside your mind that eventually blew over and resulted in you, isolating yourself, alone and crying yourself to sleep. jisung wanted to get a glimpse into that mind of yours, fight off the thoughts and feelings that brought you to such a low point.
at the same time, the longer he looked at you, jisung wondered if he had done something. he wondered if he had done something lately that caused you to shy away from coming to him, that caused you to resort to crying alone in your room as the easier option. but jisung needed to fight those thoughts to the back of his mind, snapping himself to the realization that this isn't about him but about you and how you feel.
jisung didn't want to wake you up too soon, so he got back up, closed the door behind him softly, and made his way to your kitchen again. he opened and closed the cupboards, fridge, and freezer to identify ingredients he could whip up for you, just in time for you to eat once you awoke.
building up the confidence to speak, your fingers toy with the fabric on the back of jisung's hoodie. you take deep breathes and open your mouth.
"it's the feeling of self-doubt again…" you say softly, almost as if you're in a public place and spilling a secret—quiet but just loud enough for jisung to hear. he hums in acknowledgment, "i just... i don't know."
"how do you need me right now?"
you take a second to think, contemplating what would help you the most now.
"here with me, like this," you move your head up to look at him, "i just need someone to listen."
jisung nods, adjusting his position, but his hold on you never falters; he keeps you close. when he's adjusted, he nods again, this time with a smile and a look of determination.
when jisung felt your body relax in his arms earlier, he wished he could have been there sooner. he wished that you could have sobbed in his arms instead, and he would've held you tight instead of you crying into your pillow and comforter, alone in the dark. what matters to him now is that he's here, and he'll be here however you need him.
"i'm all ears for you, baby."
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request guidelines
hi there! thank you for your interest in requesting :) here are some guidelines of things i'm comfortable and uncomfortable writing!
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 。 。・:*:・゚★,。・:
i am a multi stan but i currently only write for stray kids.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 。 。・:*:・゚★,。・:
I WILL WRITE
fluff, angst, hurt/comfort
classic tropes (enemies2lovers, friends2lovers etc.)
soft, cute shit
requests based on songs, movies, tv shows
things that don't fall under the 'i will not write' section.
I WILL NOT WRITE
anything illegal
large age gaps
even if both characters are of age i'm just not comfortable writing large age gap relationships.
violence or abuse
while these themes may be referenced, i.e relationship abuse. i will not be writing detailed scenes that include the acts of violence or abuse.
smut
i do read smut but i am not comfortable writing it myself. i also don't think i'd be any good at it so I'll leave the spicy smut to the mastermind smut writers here. (if you want smut recommendations check out my secondary blog @6ixence @zerothreetwentyfive )
memberxmember scenarios
reader is the ??member of the group
male!reader
i am a cis-gendered woman and a lot of the things i write about or take inspiration from come from my own experiences in my life.
so i'm only comfortable writing from a female or gender-neutral perspective, i wouldn't be comfortable nor would i do justice to write from the male perspective.
fem!skz or anything that involves gender the bending members
irl events or family members
i'm uncomfortable writing about family members, people and events that occur in the member's personal lives irl. if any family members are referenced, they will be characters made up by me and are in no way a reflection of their actual family.
irl events like fandom drama or members leaving, i will not be writing about.
specifying characteristics i.e race, weight, sexuality etc.
the only specifying characteristics that i will provide is if i'm writing in a fem!reader perspective where the pronouns used are she/her, or a gender-neutral perspective with the pronouns they/them. other than that, i will not be specifying characteristics to keep my writing as inclusive as possible so readers can insert themselves into my work.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 。 。・:*:・゚★,。・:
please keep in mind that these guidelines are not definitive and are subject to change at any time. please also keep in mind that i write for fun or as a hobby so please be patient with me, it could take a while for me to get to your request.
with that being said, thank you so much for your support! <3
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