#next time itll be more creative
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if you'd let me want you
also on ao3
thank u @lunaraindrop for the help <3
cw: angst <3 arguing, brief panic attacks
“I’m just saying, man,” Eddie says lightly, leaning against the counter, watching Steve lift a box and set it on a cart. He lets himself watch. Steve isn’t looking at him. He can practically feel the ground shake as Steve rolls his eyes to the ceiling. “You guys make sense together.”
“Just because something makes sense doesn’t mean it…” Steve rips the box open. Eddie wills his face not to flush with heat. “Make sense.”
“That didn’t make sense.”
Steve shoots him a look.
“I don’t like Nancy like that anymore,” he says, almost grumbling. His mood shifted as soon as Eddie brought her up a few minutes ago. He smiled when Eddie showed up at Family Video, greeting him with a bright, “Hey!” but the second Eddie asked if he’s seen Nancy recently, the perpetual soft smile that lingered on his face faded and he looked away. His cheeks flushed pink. So Eddie doesn’t really believe him.
“You know I don’t believe you, right?”
Steve sends a look over at him. But it’s not really a look. He glares at him.
Eddie’s eyebrows raise as Steve looks away again, his stomach twisting.
“You don’t have to believe me, Eddie,” Steve says, his voice twinged with annoyance. “It doesn’t make it… not true.”
“Well, you get all uptight and stiff every time I bring her up,” Eddie says, crossing his arms over his chest like he’s defending himself.
“Yeah, maybe I just don’t wanna talk about my ex with you,” Steve says, his voice firmer, annoyed and slightly louder. Eddie’s chest tightens, and he furrows his brows, his breath caught in his chest.
“This is the kind of thing friends talk about,” he says defensively.
“Maybe I just wanna hang out with you without talking about my fucking love life,” Steve snaps, putting a tape up on a shelf a little too hard. Eddie blinks.
“Why are you pissed?”
“I’m not pissed.”
“You sound pissed. You look pissed.”
“I’m fine, Eddie,” Steve says, sounding even more pissed. “I just don’t wanna talk about it.”
Eddie has a problem. He’s had this problem his whole life.
“Why don’t you wanna talk about it?”
It’s gotten him in trouble before. Many times. At home, at school, with his friends, the assholes that shoved him around in the hallways, against lockers.
“You talk about it with Robin,” he says. “Why is it such a big deal to talk about it with me? What’s your problem?”
He pushes. And prods. And pokes. And annoys the fuck out of whoever he’s talking to, until—
“Jesus, Eddie, I don’t fucking know, just fuck off.”
Eddie stares at him as he looks up at him. His eyes are gleaming, his brows are furrowed, and his cheeks are red, and he looks angry, and for some fucking reason it just pisses Eddie off.
“I wanna help you,” he snaps. “I know you like her, and you guys would be perfect for each other, fuckin’ mister and missus America—”
“I don’t fucking like her,” Steve almost shouts, and Eddie almost flinches back, the volume making its way under his skin, pulling at him and making him ache.
“What’s your fucking deal, Harrington?” He matches his volume.
Steve recoils like Eddie’s slapped him across the face, his eyes wide, and he blinks, his shoulders falling.
“Don’t call me Harrington,” he says weakly. Eddie exhales, staring at him. “You never call me Harrington.”
The door opens across the store, the bell shoving it dinging brightly, and Robin greets them with a cheerful, “Hey, dinguses.”
Neither of them look away, their eyes locked, and Eddie barely even heard Robin’s tentative, “What’s going on?” Steve looks like he might cry, his cheeks still flushed, his eyes shining, and Eddie scoffs, shaking his head and tearing his eyes away from Steve, ignoring Robin and heading to the door. It slams shut behind him.
His hands are shaking as he fumbles with his keys, biting his trembling lip as he slides into the driver's seat, and he looks up into the store as he starts the van. Robin is looking at Steve, confused, still holding her bag in her hands, and Steve is covering his face, holding a tape before he shouts something Eddie can’t hear and throws the tape across the store.
Eddie’s vision swims and he pulls out of the parking lot without buckling his seat belt.
———————
He doesn’t see Steve for another four days.
He doesn’t really have to. It’s not like they tend to hang out every day. (Every other day, maybe. Sometimes more. But they don’t have a strict schedule, and Steve doesn’t come inside when he drops the kids off at Eddie’s for Hellfire on Thursday.)
Four whole days.
Is it pathetic that he misses him? Probably. It’s only four days, but Eddie feels hollow, like something is missing just because he hasn’t heard Steve’s voice.
Steve seems to feel the same way, which doesn’t really make Eddie feel better, even though his heart fucking soars when he opens the door to his apartment to find Steve standing there, his hair damp from the rain. He’s somehow looking up at Eddie despite being almost the exact same height as him.
“Hi,” Eddie says quietly, holding the door open. Steve rocks up onto his toes, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket, and he glances past Eddie into the apartment.
“Is Wayne here?”
Eddie blinks, his heart falling, and Steve seems to notice it, because he hurriedly says, “I’m not— I just wanna talk to you, like, alone. I just… wanna make sure.”
“Oh.” Eddie blinks again. “No, he’s— he’s at work.”
“Okay.” Steve pauses, swallowing, swaying. “Can I… Can I come in?”
“Yeah,” Eddie says after staring at him for a moment. “Yeah, come in.”
Steve exhales as he enters, pushing his hair back. His jacket is spotted with rain. Eddie forgot it was raining at all. He can’t hear rain much in this apartment. Unless it’s pouring.
“Talk,” Eddie says, heading into the kitchen. The kettle isn’t boiling yet, and he feels underdressed next to Steve, who’s wearing jeans and a tucked-in button-down, his jacket neatly pressed except for the rain. Eddie’s just in sweatpants and a grey sweater that’s two sizes too big.
“I, uhm.” Steve hesitates, taking a breath.
Eddie leans against the counter next to the stove, crossing his arms, looking up at him.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Steve says, leaning against the wall across from Eddie. It’s a small kitchen. Their feet are almost touching.
Eddie doesn’t say anything.
“I was…” Steve pauses, swallowing anxiously, his hands shifting in his pockets. “I was upset, and I lashed out at you, and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”
Eddie looks into his eyes. They’re shining again. They always are.
“I don’t get why you were upset,” Eddie says quietly, feeling like he’s confessing something. He often doesn’t get why people feel certain things. Why people get annoyed at him for the things he does when he isn’t hurting anyone. Why people laugh when there’s nothing to laugh about. Why people get upset when he tries to help them.
Especially with something like all this with Steve. He and Nancy would be perfect together. Nancy Wheeler and Steve Harrington. White picket fence and a soccer team of children and yearly vacations and everything someone like Eddie Munson could never have.
He hasn’t told anyone that he doesn’t understand what they’re feeling in a long time. The last few times he told them they’ve scoffed and rolled their eyes and accused him of lying to get away with being an asshole, even when he was so adamant he worked himself to tears.
But Steve doesn’t do any of those things. He looks at Eddie and believes him.
“I don’t like Nancy anymore,” Steve says. He sounds close to tears. “And it just… pissed me off that you just didn’t believe me.”
He must see the doubt on Eddie’s face.
“I don't like her anymore,” Steve says. “I swear.”
Eddie looks back and forth between his eyes.
“I see how you look at her, Steve,” he says softly, and he wants to go throw himself out the living room window. Because he sounds so desperate, so fucking honest, and Steve can probably see right into him.
“How do I look at her?” Steve asks desperately, his head tilting forward.
“Like she’s perfect,” Eddie says, his arms uncrossing. The kettle is starting to boil, the whistle low and quiet. “Like she’s fucking flawless, like she’s… the fucking sunset or something.”
“Eddie,” Steve says weakly, his shoulders slumping.
“I don’t get it,” Eddie says adamantly. The whistle is growing in pitch. “I don’t get why you don’t like her, she’s— she is perfect, she’s the one for you—”
“No, she’s not,” Steve says angrily.
He doesn’t even seem to notice the kettle whistling loudly, screeching at them, and Eddie huffs, turning away.
“Jesus,” he mutters, turning off the burner. “What do you want from me, Steve?” he asks, pulling the kettle off the burner, feeling it vibrate as it whistles.
“I don’t want anything from you, I want you.”
The kettle falls quiet.
The kitchen is silent.
Eddie blinks at the kettle, the words washing over him like cold water, and he almost drops the kettle as he sets it down heavily. It lands loudly on the stove, clattering on the burner, and he turns around to look at Steve.
Steve’s eyes are wide as he realises what he’s just said, and Eddie isn’t breathing, and he’s trembling, and Steve takes a sharp breath before he turns away.
Eddie reaches out and grabs his shirt, pulling him back.
Except he doesn’t do that.
He yells, at the top of his lungs, as loud as he can, I want you too. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.
Except he doesn’t do that either.
Steve leaves, slamming the door shut behind himself.
Eddie lets him.
———————
Six days.
Six fucking empty days.
Wayne notices that something is off, but he doesn’t ask, because he knows Eddie won’t tell. If he were to ask, Eddie would probably just burst into tears, and Wayne had never known what to do when Eddie cries. It’s not like Grandpa Munson was a touchy-feely guy. Wayne’s always just brought him tea and tissues and given him a hug if he wanted one.
Eddie covers it up when the kids come over to the apartment to hang out. Lucas tells him he asked Steve if he wanted to come up to say hi, but that Steve has errands to run. Eddie just quips that Steve is a big boy, all old and mature. The kids laugh, living in their sweet, sweet ignorance.
When the kids aren’t over, and Corroded guys aren’t over, he’s holed up in his room, staring at the ceiling with his headphones on. (He can’t use his speakers anymore because of complaints from the neighbours.) Trying to let the music drown out the words that are bouncing around his skull like a pinball.
I want you. I want you. I want you.
On the seventh day, Robin calls him.
He doesn’t want to answer the phone, but he trudges up out of bed, pushing his hair out of his face. He’s still wearing the same sweater.
She tells him the Party’s having a movie night at Steve’s.
Eddie’s chest aches at the sound of Steve’s name.
You’re gonna be there, she says, because she seems to know how his brain works better than anyone else he’s met. You’re gonna be there gets him to change his sweater.
His eyes meet Steve’s when he goes inside, but they both look away, and Eddie immediately swerves to the other side of the living room, scooping El into his arms and cackling evilly when she screams his name.
Steve sits with Robin on the sofa. Eddie can tell Robin knows something is up, but he can also tell that Steve hasn’t told her anything because she glances at Eddie, then at Steve, and Steve ignores her, his eyes trained on Dustin as he argues with Will about something.
The lights shut off when the movie starts.
Steve leans against the armrest of the sofa, Robin leans against him, and Nancy leans against her. Jonathan and Argyle are on the floor, Jonathan’s head on Argyle’s shoulder. The kids are all on the floor, tangled and piled on top of each other like a litter of puppies.
Eddie doesn’t even know which movie is playing. He keeps looking at Steve.
He feels like his veins are filled with wax, his body tense and stiff and so anxious he’s shaking a little bit.
I want you.
Eddie looks over at him again, the words echoing in his head, in the exact cadence and emphasis that Steve spoke in, adamant and angry and desperate.
Steve’s eyes meet his across the room. They’re shining. Reflecting the flashing lights of the movie.
Eddie tilts his head, gesturing silently, weakly, toward the kitchen.
Steve inhales, his jaw working, and he sighs quietly, squeezing Robin’s arm and moving to get up. She looks up at him, then at Eddie, then at Nancy, moving so Steve can get up, pulling Nancy closer.
Eddie gets up quietly, stepping behind the sofa so he doesn’t get in anyone’s view of the movie before he follows Steve down the hall to the kitchen, shutting the door behind them.
Steve crosses his arms when he enters the kitchen like he’s protecting himself, looking sulky and upset and so small it makes Eddie want to cry. He leans against the island, looking at the floor, biting his lip, and Eddie steps to be in front of him, leaning against the wall.
They're both quiet. Eddie can almost hear the movie, muffled and quiet through the door and down the endless hallway. Eddie can almost hear his own heartbeat. He listens to Steve’s breath.
“Did you mean it?” he asks softly, almost whispering.
Steve looks up at him, his eyes flicking back and forth between Eddie’s before he looks away, at the floor, his eyes moving like he’s looking for something.
“Steve,” Eddie says weakly when Steve doesn’t say anything. “Did you mean it?”
Steve takes a sharp breath, his lip trembling.
“Yes.”
Eddie exhales.
The floor is solid beneath his feet.
Holy shit.
He steps forward, looking at Steve’s face. His eyes are squeezed shut.
Eddie reaches up to his cheek, wiping away a tear, and Steve startles, his eyes flying open to look at Eddie, his eyes filled with tears, scared and desperate. He’s breathing hard, blinking.
“I want you too,” Eddie whispers.
“Don’t fuck with me right now, Eddie, please.” Steve’s voice squeaks, breaks and chokes, and Eddie reaches up to hold his face between his hands, wiping away the tears that fall from his eyes. Steve is gasping for breath, and Eddie presses a hand firmly against his chest as it rises and falls quickly.
“I’m not fucking with you, Stevie,” he murmurs. Steve’s hands grab at Eddie’s waist, gripping the fabric of his sweater. (This one is black.) He’s holding him too tightly, but Eddie doesn’t mind. “I want you, I’ve wanted you for so long.”
Steve closes his eyes hard, his brows furrowing as he pants, and Eddie leans close, pressing their foreheads together, murmuring to him. Breathe, Steve, slowly. You got it.
It takes a while for his breathing to slow, and Eddie slides his hand up his chest when it does, moving it up over the collar of his sweatshirt, over his neck, to his cheek.
“Why’d you push me to go with Nancy?” Steve chokes, blinking tears out of his eyes, and Eddie’s eyes burn, aching because he can’t explain it.
“I don’t…” He hesitates, shrugging weakly, holding Steve’s cheeks carefully, tenderly. He sighs, letting his head fall forward so their foreheads meet as he thinks. “Because boys like me don’t get things like this,” he says softly, quietly.
“Yes, they do,” Steve whispers.
Eddie’s eyes squeeze shut.
They’re quiet for a moment, sharing breaths, until Eddie slowly slides his hands across Steve’s neck, hugging him tightly, and Steve’s arms wrap around his waist, pulling him against himself harshly, strongly. A soft sound escapes Eddie’s throat, and his eyes burn more, and he buries his face in Steve’s neck as Steve’s shoulders shake.
Their friends are down the hall. Anyone could come in for chips or soda or water, and find them here, crying in each other’s arms, and the thought of the absurdity of it makes Eddie laugh. Steve’s hand slides over his back, holding him so tightly Eddie can barely breathe.
“Holy shit,” he breathes, burying a hand in Steve’s hair. “Holy shit, holy shit.”
“Eddie,” Steve says softly, pulling away and looking at him, and he lifts his hands to Eddie’s face, wiping his tears away so tenderly it just makes Eddie cry more.
Eddie’s eyes flutter shut when Steve pulls at his face, pressing a hard, lingering kiss to his mouth, and when they part, Eddie gasps, opening his mouth for him and pulling him closer until Steve kisses him again.
Steve’s hands reach down and pull at Eddie’s legs, picking him up with unfair ease, and Eddie clutches at him desperately as Steve turns to set him on the counter. Eddie’s legs wrap around him tightly, whimpering when Steve’s hands press to his back and waist and his hips.
“‘M sorry,” Steve breathes between frenzied kisses. “‘M so sorry.”
“Me too,” Eddie says, panting. “I’m sorry, Stevie, just… I need…”
“Breathe,” Steve says weakly. Eddie closes his eyes. He didn’t even realise it, but he’s gasping for breath, each one getting caught in his throat, hiccupping and choking, and he grips Steve’s shoulders tightly, so hard it probably hurts, but he can’t let go, and Steve doesn’t say anything except, “Breathe.”
Eddie hugs him tightly, desperately, and Steve hugs him back just the same, pressing a hand to the small of his back. Eddie is swaying back and forth, which he doesn't realise until after a few seconds, and he stops himself. It makes people seasick, distracts them, he's heard it all, and he's just gotten Steve's arms around him. He doesn't want to mess this up.
But Steve tugs at his back, stepping closer to the island so his chest is pressed to Eddie, and he starts to sway. Eddie buries his face in Steve's neck, his eyes stinging, and he lets Steve move him, weight dropping off his shoulders, his breaths coming out easier and easier until he's breathing normally. They don't stop swaying together, rocking back and forth slowly, carefully, until Eddie lifts his head and touches his face. His skin is tacky with drying tears, the streaks shining in the dim light of the kitchen. Eddie wipes them away before he leans in and kisses him softly.
"Do you wanna go finish the movie?" Steve asks when they part, his lips still brushing Eddie's as he speaks.
"I don't even know what movie it is."
"Me either. Do you wanna go be confused together?"
"Yeah. That sounds nice."
They pause to sip at a glass of water together before they head back to the living room, their fingers laced. No one pays them any mind except Robin, whose eyes catch their hands, and she raises an eyebrow, smiling up at Steve as he sits next to her again. Robin moves, nudging Nancy so she shifts to lean against the opposite armrest, and Eddie squeezes in between Steve and Robin. Steves's arm makes its way around Eddie's shoulders as they look at the television. (Eddie can't even guess what's happening in the movie.)
Eddie closes his eyes, leaning against Steve, pressing his face into his chest, and he pulls one of his legs up, setting it across Steve's. Steve pulls him in closer, tighter, his cheek resting on Eddie's head.
Eddie shifts to face him, nuzzling into his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist, cuddling as closely and as tightly as he can as he takes a long, deep breath and exhales slowly. Steve smells like his cologne. Eddie wants to keep the smell. Maybe find it on his pillows.
He falls asleep to the sound of Steve's heartbeat.
#yes this was kind of inspired by that scene in nick and charlie bc that haunts my fucking dreams#i end so many of my fics like this and its starting to annoy me bc why cant i think of another ending ugh#next time itll be more creative#and i have a ton of prompts in my notes so i will have many opportunities#if i write another party movie night someone spray me with water like a cat#steddie#steddie oneshot#steddie ficlet#steddie fanfic#eddie munson#eddie munson oneshot#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson ficlet#autistic eddie munson#steve harrington#steve harrington oneshot#steve harrington ficlet#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things#stranger things oneshot#stranger things ficlet#stranger things fanfic
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“Don't You Dare Forget Me.” Pt. 1
Akito x fem! reader (platonic)
Summoning.... @msith @noverenia @kxttqi @starry-sky-melody @enamation @nogenderbee @vodka-glrl
Summary: Its about time forAkotot to leave town for a good while. That means that it's time to say farewell to his friend(s) as well.
A/N: IMPORTANT; PLEASE READ: As I'm sure you all know, ill be going on a hiatus for a while, but i wanted to make one last ff before i leave. Im summoning you guys because this is my "see you later" to you all(my moots)(and also my followers), so i want you guys to see this. Thank you for all the love and support you guys have given me <3 So, I wanted to make this last ff platonic because ilyg platonicly, obviously. Reader is obvi you guys and Akito is supposed to be me..? Ig? Yh this is kinda cringe but whatever.... Akito won the poll on what char my last ff should be, so yh.. I prolly kin Akito the most out of the boys anyway. So! Please read my going away gift for you guys, and again, thanks for making my trip to this platform a pleasant one ^^ btw, this ff is prolly not gonna be long as its only here to say goodbye in a more creative and writin tone..... If that makes sense... Also ik i said i dont do aus and this is kinda an au since akito is leaving but shhh also i hope yall dont mind me putting fem reader.... Im pretty sure most of yall, if not all of yallz are girls........ On second thought.... Maybe i shouldve picked a girl for my last ff since im a girl............ Eh, too bad..... P:S..... Im posting this in the morning instead of the night bc I want to see all of your responses before i leave.... Hopefully ill be able to.. rEmeber how i said in my rules that i dont do sad endings?.... Well, this is kind of a sad ending.... But ive decided that when i come back, ill make a part 2! Itll be a more happy one <3 ps: i will officially be leaving at 11:00PM EST. So you guys have 23 hours to respond after this is posted
I stand by the car, waiting impatiently for Y/N to arrive, my hands fidgeting slightly as I constantly check my phone for the time.
Finally, I spot your silhouette in the near distance and run up to you eagerly.
“Oi. You're late.”
I stare down at the girl in front of me, my hands placed warmly in my pockets.
“Sorry!”
I sigh before staring awkwardly at her, unknowing of what to say.
“So.... You're leaving..”
“Yeah.”
.....
“When will you be back?”
“Hopefully sometime next year... Maybe later though.”
“Right.”
.....
“So. See you next time?”
“Yeah.”
.....
“.... Hug?”
Awkwardly, I wrap my arms around her tightly. She's like a second big sister to me.... I hate the thought of leaving her, but.... It is what it is...
“..... Bye, Akito.”
I raise my head before speaking.
“.... Bye.”
.....
“I should get going now.”
“Okay.”
“...Don't you dare forget about me.”
“I won't...... Bye again.”
“Bye..... Y/N.”
Farewell!
#lets ✨write!✨#lets ✨(not) request!✨#project sekai x reader#akito x reader#shinonome akito x reader#akito shinonome x reader#its my ✨mooties!✨#platonic#wholesome
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OOH WEBS MATCHMAKE ME ITLL BE FUN:):)
I’m 5’ 10” with long brown wavy hair and bright green eyes:)
I think my style is just very feminine? Lots of dresses, skirts, and floral:)
My favorite foods are pho and smoked salmon
ANY GENDER HOMIE
I love to read, write, and paint
I’m into very indie folk, woodsy stuff like hozier, fleet foxes, Pheobe Bridgers, Father john misty… very ethereal stuff
Favorite animals are cats🥺
My favorite movie is Dead Poets Society (I like coming of age movies)
I’m really passionate, creative, and friendly:)
She/her
I don’t understand the fandom question sorry I’m dumb😭 match me w whoever
Libra, Leo, Libra:)
In a partner I would want someone who’s a good listener because I process things by talking through them, but who wouldn’t wanna fix stuff for me bc that would annoy me. Someone somewhat well read who could go to bookstores and art museums, and someone sensitive and creative
Hi big sis! Your not dumb, I just need to go back and clarify. The fandom question is for which movie/show someone wants:] I’m gonna go with the lost boys bc I’m assuming that’s what you want haha
I SHIP YOU WITH:
Marko! I know you expected Paul, but I can explain:] I hope you’ll like it
Marko loves art museums, like an unhealthy amount. He is always begging to go with someone, but the only one willing to go is max. He did go with Max one time and it was alright, but it was apparent Max was trying to pretend to know more than he did. So as soon as Marko realizes you want to go he’s scooping you on to his bike and driving. When you’re there, regardless of how much you know about art Marko is great to talk to. Dont know a ton about a specific style or era? Ask away bc he knows it! You know about it? Great! He’d love to hear your thoughts and discuss with you about what the artist was trying to convey
I believe Marko has a side of him most don’t expect. This shows up at the museum and later on appears more in your relationship. He’s actually freaky smart. Like if he was human he could have been a doctor if he tried a bit. He’s never had a huge interest in reading, but has several Italian books he reads every couple years. If you picked out a book for him and he likes it, then he’s more than happy to go to bookstores with you and let you expand his collection. You might have to remind him every couple days that he has the book, but when he finishes it get ready for 1 hour+ conversations about each one.
Marko is a Great listener, but not a great problem solver. So this works out great! He’ll have you sit next to or in front of him and vent while he plays with your hair, holds your hands, kisses your head, occasionally telling you he loves you and he’s sorry you’re upset. He has really big feelings, so when someone is upset he can relate and does his best to cheer you up, but he knows he has poor execution when handling problems and leaves that to others.
Marko likes skirts and dresses bc he can twirl you around. If you choose to turn, he buys a jacket and paints flower designs on it that match your favorite dress. Maybe he adds matching ones to a pair of shoes
He won’t admit it, but adores that you’re a bit taller than him, it makes him the perfect height for your neck
Marko listens to all kinds of music and gets really inspired by ethereal things, he’ll probably ask if you want to draw together while listening to one of your playlists
He’s obsessed with your eyes by the way, you’re gonna catch him just staring at them, 25% of the time drawing you. He always adds emphasis on the eyes though.
He’s gonna do anything to see you smile, including getting a cat. He makes sure he gets one that is bird friendly though:]
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(7/7) i hope this wasnt Too Trauma-Dumpy or anything. i tried to stay away from specifics or anything potentially triggerable. i just didnt know how to illustrate your impact accurately without at least acknowledging some darker things, albeit vaguely. the words "you mean a lot to me" felt inadequate but they are true. and i hope its clear as to why now but yeah. wild that oc-making and publishing your art and fanfic-- even just in theory, i havent ever touched on what youve MADE in specifics or in analysis-- altered my life, or at least altered how i felt i was allowed to interact with my life, so much. obviously what impacted me was more than JUST cringe culture, but its way funnier in its simplicity to say: cringe culture going off on ocs and Mary Sues really fucked me up more than i thought Imao rip
but yeah. just. thanks. for everything ♡
if dont beat that 2%, i really do hope you find what make, after college is all done, when i finally have the time/energy to spare. or that someone sends it your way, if it isnt me myself. i hope youll continue to be active when i make it. but, if you arent for whatever reason, ill still make it. and itll always be a goal ill have made and accomplished thanks to you and your creativity. i love you, very much. and thank you again ♡
(/end of original message. thank you for your time, i know this was long, i hope you received something joyful despite that aspect. or recieved something heartfelt, to turn the moniker around again. but yeah. thank you again, for everything ♡♡♡ i love you and your creations very much. you mean a lot to me. more than any words in the english language can adequately convey ♡)
i'm saving the rest of your story in my inbox. it's so precious i'd rather not publish it. it will remain just between the two of us ♡
thank you so much for taking the time to write this even after tumblr ate the first attempt. you mentioned sincerity a few times, and there's something i've noticed about writing/creating with sincerity in mind. and by that i mean the interview with maria howe where she goes "i ask my students every week to write 10 observations of the actual world. It’s very hard for them. Just tell me what you saw this morning like in two lines. I saw a water glass on a brown tablecloth, and the light came through it in three places. No metaphor. And to resist metaphor is very difficult because you have to actually endure the thing itself, which hurts us for some reason."
when someone tells a story filled with facts/truths/observations that aren't dressed up in a thousand layers of irony and shame, people respond to it. there's a universe-sized chasm between a soul eviscerating head imploding sledgehammer to the heart film like everything everywhere all at once and the next marvel whatever. that chasm is probably named sincerity. or love. or joy. or connection. whatever it's called, you can feel it in the place where our souls are supposed to reside. it's tangible. it shifts. it's real.
anyway.. i'm rambling now... i was very moved by your message and your love and i hope you will continue to allow yourself more and more and more until you get everything you want. wishing you the best in your future endeavors 🤍💘 and when the time comes, i hope you do give me a nudge if i'm still around! (which, look. i probably will be. i've already been here too damn long.)
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twitter isnt interactive enough so im talking about chainsaw man here
spoilers for the anime
i have read the manga though i will not mention anything from that, just the anime
i was told the animation was amazing but i didnt expect to feel like i was in it myself. everything from the art, lighting, plus sound quality made it one of the most beautiful animes ive watched. and then i get hit with the opening? it was so creative and the song was so good.
then i HAVE to point out the voice acting. the voices fit all the characters so well; i know nothing about the va's but they sound like they were meant to be the characters they were assigned. i watched the sub since i dont know if theres a dub yet, but when(or when i find it) the dub is out, i already know itll be just as amazing.
shout out to everyone who worked on it and i cant wait for more
ok next: story n shit
the first episode was a rollercoaster, i wasn't expecting them to put so much into one episode but im so glad they did. seeing pochita and denji's bonding was adorable, the designs were done amazingly, and honestly i couldn't get enough of it. his dumbness mixed with ignorance of true issues, including his strength and perseverance for small things make his character so complicated in the most interesting way. its hard to find main characters like that and when you do find it its true gold.
with most, they ignore the mc's issues because well, their the main character. but chainsaw man accepts his issues and let's you dislike him. with other animes, they force you to enjoy the mc, meanwhile with this you can dislike the main character.
when makima showed up i was stunned. she was terrifyingly beautiful. her beauty was embraced and weaponized, like it should be. she made denji head over heals by simply existing and she knows it, so she uses it against him.
you know she's bad and trouble, but she's addictive and you love her.
the rest of the episodes were just as good, same with the characters. when power was introduced i instantly fell in love with her, she's so chaotic and annoying with the weirdest personality. she also knows her own beauty and welcomes it. i love chaotic characters who know their strength.
i also cant get over denji realizing he was dreaming of a better life instead of enjoying the life he had at the moment, he didn't know he was happy until pochita was gone. pochita was his only friend and when he lost that he realized so much. then him going on a rampage against the devils and using all his energy could be seen as many things.
back to denji, his pervertedness really makes little room for you to like him. and i enjoy that about him, he doesn't realize its a problem himself meanwhile everyone else does. his desire for touching a woman is gross but you laugh at it.
yes i may be overanalyzing this but i cant help it, the anime is so good. i strongly, STRONGLY recommend it to everyone seeing this if you haven't seen it already. the music is amazing, the animation, characters, everything.
one more thing! the outro is just as good! it changes every episodes and its so dynamic every time. chainsaw man is probably the first anime ive watched and ive been able to sit through both the intro and outro.
ok i think thats enough from me, if i talk about it more ill probably explode
#chainsaw man#anime#rant#chainsaw man denji#manga#i want to hold denji in my arms and give him cookies
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woah thats a lot of time :O but thats a cool theory !! im not good at math but if you were to put it into ratios im sure itll make more sense
ooo jelly cubes sound good :O what kinds of foods do you eat here ?? pineapple sized grapes oh god those are big JFDLJLFK but ooo sounds good !! yeah thats fine if you cant remember !! ugh i wish it was like that on earth id love to go explore uncharted areas here :O i know the ocean is one of the most unexplored places but its not that easy to access sadly T__T /lh
take the /j and make it /gen [/hj]
ooo alright got it ahh i have so much information to document this is gonna be fun imma make a rentry >:]
dang fates sounds so cool we love fate here !! i could never be that responsible DFJKLSJF /lh
all i know about it minecraft ive never heard about terraria stardew valley or breathe of the wild but they sound fun !! what are they about ??
ohh so the chaotic energy is based on how you feel ?? like if you feel low on chaos would the chaos influx be low too ?? or would the chaos energy in general be low ?? ahh alright got it and ooo good theory !! id hope hasnt taken up that job sounds like she already has a lot to work with /lh
yay !! :D
ooo thats soo cool !! i love the balance of magic users :D yesss im glad were both thinking the same thing >B]
ooo ill check out all of these games in my free time !! when im feeling more ghosty all i wanna do is stare at the ceiling on float around and turn invisible and become a spectator but experiencing things again in a new light is so much fun !! im already like that since im not cultured yet but yes soft things should be prioritized /hj
woah im really glad heaven and hell isnt like what its percieved in this world it sounds so much fun being able to see different sceneries !! ooo what did the marble buildings look like :O yes lets goo i love the amount of free travel there is and good to know guardians could do that !!
gonna ask the bodys parents whens the next time were going to a hotel so i can experience for myself B]
ohh alright got it !! do you remember what their wings looked like ?? and yeah djklfjsd stairs are just so popular here considering transportation isnt as easy but so hell is mountainous and foresty and heaven is more city like right ??
ohh that makes sense !! yeah i can see how different attractions could look the same thats actually an interesting way to look at things mostly with others theres a lot of emotion that comes with those actions so thats where the difference comes from !! but hey im glad you seem okay with how you feel and interpret it !! :D
- ramble anon
ok ratios: hell/heaven to my dimensions earth would be 1 month:1 week, my guess for this dimension's earth and hell is [some amount of years]:1 hour, or 1 hour:[some amount of years] (i am not good at ratios so i hope this helps somewhat)
in this dimension i eat fruit a lot, or salty snacks. I'm also a big soup fan. uncharted areas are sooo cool, i'd loved to explore the ocean if i wasn't scared of it /gen
yeah fate is very good at her job, and is very cool :D
terraria is sometimes described as '2D minecraft' but is has a lot more feature, items, enemies, etc. stardew valley is a 2D farming game with the ability to friend/date/marry npcs, like a farming simulator, mini dating sim, creativity elements, and resource gathering. breath of the wild is a 3D open world game where you can do lots of side quest, exploration, cooking and etc.
chaos being low causes me to feel low, not the other way around /nm and i meant sometimes i want to feel the extra chaos so i'd get closer to the source to feel it :]
the marbles buildings are similar to ancient greek architecture from this world! heaven's usually with smoother textures, and were very tall.
heaven beings usually had feathery wings, but they could come in any color, and were more like bird wings than angel wings. hell beings had more bat-like or dragon-like wings, scales or leathery. and yeah hell is mountainous and forest while heaven is a big city :]
I've spent a decent amount of time figuring out how i feel about romantic and platonic things, so I've been able to accept it really well :D
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every fucking time i get into something new and it later becomes a hyperfixation , i get a art block . no matter how much i want to draw the characters from the media im into i cant just . pour out an art piece , putting all my dedication and love for this new found interest that will alter and change me forever , giving me a long lasting impact that ill most likely never forget . even a quick sketch of one of my favourites would make me so happy , why xant i jsut do it then ? i cant just keep consuming others media and the offical media forever , so I have to make my own to feed and gnaw off on . this is going to be the next thing that im going to be ONLY thinking about for the next months . all videos / songs related will play endlessly on loop as loud as possible , but not enough to the point I get annoyed . little scenarios of the characters included will play on a little mental projector 25 / 8 . everything will become a reference to it , and will be related to it aswell , even if its extremely farfetched and strange . i will shut about it , and itll be my main topic when it comes to conversinf with others , and if it isnt , then ill zone and tune out , even if i dont want to . my main focus is only that , so why can draw it kn thd beginning ?! i need to let my feelings out , but unfortunately due to fears that pressure me into a corner . what if i mischaracterize ? what if it doesnt look like / similar to canon ? what if it doesnr look likd their most common fanon portrayal / how most other fanartist draw them ? what if it doesnt meet how I see thdm in my head ? and a fuckton more . i already burn myself out before ive even created the drawing , why am i likd this ?!?! i just need to put my index finger onto that cracked 4 year old screen , or my stolen mechanical pencil from afew months onto that cheap , 2 year old paper , turn my eyes and most of my brain onto autopilot , leaving only the creative parts and the side thats producing all my thoughts revolving arounf my fixation , and let my brain guide my finger , not letting my eyes fully comprehend what in the fucking world im even creating .
but i cant because i already had an art block in my last hyperfixation : """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" )
#yes this is vaguely about 31 minutos#and also somewhat of obs#i drew alittle drawings of bodoque and i was so fucking happy like wtf i need to eat my own shit#then i tried drawing juanín and got so disappointed because i didnt kneo how to draw him#i was extremely distraught throughout thd day since#i still am#why am i like this#vent but not really#likd its me venting but also like im not#does that make any sense#how do you edit tags i want to say that im also going to like try and draw juanín againg i cant take thiz overbearing sadness#xD
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[parasocial bestie] GOOD EVENING BESTIE!!!! CHEERING U ON!!!! although itll take another few days weeks months for u to finish the fic its totally understandable why it takes that long like!! even as an artist, working on a supposed 4 hr art can take Weeks without that energy. it could be me who doesnt write tho but id always think writers have it hardest to do all the brain connecting the Thinking the Gears Moving in their head to figure out every scene every dialog every word that fits to get a perfect imagery of sumn and i respect dat... i respect yew!!!! SO DO UR BEST ALYYYYYY ILYSM YOURE DOING SO GREAT WITH UR CURRENT WORDCOUNT ALREADY 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💖💞💞💕💓💖💓💕💓💖💓💓💓💖💓💕💓💖💓💖💓💓💖💞💕💞💖💓💖💓💖💓 ONTO THE NEXT FEW THOUSAND UR SO CLOSE 👊👊👊👊 BEATS THE BURNOUT BEATS EVERYTHING THAT STOPS U FROM WRITING AND BEING THE BESTEST 👊👊👊💥💥👊💥💥💥👊💥💥💥
NO BC LIKE AS SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T DO ART. i will never ever ever understand how u guys do it. anyone can picture things in their mind to some degree but how in the everloving FUCK do you make that picture REAL>?????????????? proportions shading colors how the FUCK do you do the little glowy thing how do you make it Look Right how do you make it Look Good like. ive been doing creative writing in various ways to various degrees for over a decade now and i am still So Very Mediocre i STILL couldnt explain to you how i do it or how it happens and im sure if i had that same experience with art itd be different but. i do Not have that experience with art. so instead i stare at said art and go Hey Genuinely How The Hell Did You Do That and love it with all my heart
i dont even understand how other writers write like wdym you have a PLOT you have PACING you have proper balance between characters pertaining to who you want to focus on the most/least what do you MEANNNNNN you found the most gorgeous words and turns of phrase to make something sound Exactly write or get an Exact image into someones head like. HELLO ????????????????
dorry that got away from me i may be okay at writing but i am SO very fucking good at rambling every time without fail amen <3
anyways more importnatly GOOD EVENING I LOVE U SO SO SO FUCKING BAD I SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY WENT 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 & then powercry emoji x2345987345 like man. MAN.
onto the next few thousand 😁😁😁 <- words of someone who would KILL to be able to accomplish this tone and such in So Many Fewer Words but who does Not Know How To Do That so ten hundred billion words it is 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
THANK U FOR BEATING UP THE BURNOUT I RLY NEED IT like its barely gotten in the way yet ive taken enough breaks given myself enough time it is just SO FRUSTRATINGGGGGGGGGGG knowing that i need those breaks and need that time like why am i not allowed to just be the specialest person in the whole wide world who never burns out ever hm? hmmm? do i not deserve it have i not suffered enough
not to be soooo silly but i genuinely cannot express how much it means to me and how much it has meant to me from the very first little comment that you just. IDK IDK IDK. you care so much and you're so fucking NICE about it and so passionate about it and EVERY single time we ramble about ANYTHING it inspires and pushes me so much and i love love love talking to you and like. u simply did not need/do not need to be constantly so fucking sweet and encouraging and wonderful about everything all the time ever but then you Are and then i die and and and <- maybe its a good thing i didnt try forcing myself to write too much this morning if this is the way im wording things today 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 idk it is just. ily so bad and i am so so happy and grateful every time i see u in my silly little inbox and to this day i owe u my Life for the thoughts that u have brought to my silly little brain and
yeha. yeah. yeah. Yeah. explodes into a billion pieces
#parasocial bestie tag#DORRYYYYYYYY MY BRAIN IS SO FRIED RN IDEK WHY :SOB: <- girl who has written so many thousand words the past week
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harrison apparently left the staircase and was replaced by colin firth........... might be a logical leap, but who wants to take bets that indy 5 is being pushed back again??? freeing up that schedule, maybe?
#emma shut up#my money’s on christmas 2022#i think the combo of creative switch and covid is causing them to have to take their time with it#i dont think itll be much longer pushed back but it feels like we would know more by now if they were filming within the next couple months
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why Sakupen Circles is NOT an unoriginal wave hell circles level (sakupen circles review and why i like it)
p.s. I AM TALKING ABOUT THE ORIGINAL 1.9 V HERE BECAUSE THE REMAKE HAS SOME REPLACED PARTS!!!!!!!!! OK?????? YES
okay, so, reading this title, you might think
"well SLIDY of CCOURSE IT IS! its a 2022 top 1 wave impossible 4k g502 60fps showcase 360hz slaughterhouse upcoming nine circles of darkness level! "
NO. i have liked this level since 2018 (over half of its lifespan HA!!!!) and you're WRONG and HERE IS WHY!!!!!!!!!!!
(also, i wanted to add videos of all of the parts, but u cant add more than 1 video per post on tumblr i think :( so heres the whole level)
#1 - THE PREDROP
the predrop of this level is probably the least original part, but its still pretty unique. the first 2 jumps are nothing i remember seeing in any other rated level, abusing hitboxes is something people seem to be scared to do. the next clicks are in a mirror portal (self explanatory) and then it has an extremely awkward pink orb click abusing hitboxes once again. next is the ship, with only really one interesting click, taking advantage of portals saving momentum, forcing you to hit the roof. the next part is unoriginal lol taking a part from sonic wave. then theres probably the least original part in any level ever thats just a bunch of spike jumps before transititioning into
#2 - WAVE CLICK PATTERN
(yaaw yaw yaw yayayaw yaaw yaaw yaw day dayayayay (tsk) yayaya)
this alone is probably one of the two most interesting pieces of gameplay in this level, the only other example of another level doing this level is crimson clutter (silent btw) on a much smaller scale. i have no idea what mindfuck caused nick24 to do this but i really like it honestly. also the structuring here is really unique for a NC level which is nice, especially for how early this was into the NC trend's existance. then we have the sonic wave floor spam with some amazing portal placement by nick. this then leads onto the
#3 - NOT VERY INTERESTING PART COMPARED TO THE REST BUT STILL PRETTY CREATIVE
(yayayayaya bwooow wooow yaw yaaaw yaw yaw yaw)
not much to say about this part, the original doesnt have that dumb portal spam LOL tosh is just dumb but those 3 clicks are like a generic nc mini dual structure on steroids. that shit go cray zee! ayways then its back to the WAVE CLICK PATTERN but reversed through a rough transition AND THEN....................... DUMRROLL PLease
#4 - THE CRAZY SPAM!!!!
(yiyiyiyiyiyiYIAY yiyiyiyiyiyiyyiay yiay yiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay)
this part isnt actually that creative but i havent seen many other levels do it so im talking about it. this part is SO HARD tosh had to NERF IT to do an AUTO SHOWCASE. this shit is SO HARD ITS REALLY HARD I DONT KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE HOW HARD THIS PART IS. getting past this part from 0 is probably harder than beating the rated sakupen circles (which is hard) which actually has a quarter of this spam in it!!! THE EASIEST PART OF THE SPAM!!!!!!! this shit is like 12cps controlled downwards and upwards spam. conclusion: way too hard. NEXT PART IS
#5 - THE DOUBLE CLICKS )wat)
(yoy yaya yaya yaya yoyoyoyooow yoy yoy yoy YAAAAY YAYAYAYA YA YA YA YA yayayayayaya)
this part is fucking insane. mentally insane. this is the first time this was ever done and is so iconic that itll never be done again. how do you even come up with this? the double clicks here are so insane and precise that im surprised they are even possible, especially since nick didnt verify this with speedhacks. i genuinely struggle to express my thoughts on this part, its just crazy, and probably the best example of double clicks in normal gameplay. then its the triple x wave which is tight asf but not original, then there is an odd 30fps spam which is impossible on 30fps because this level is 60fps minimum. then, finally, we have:
#6 - the last shirp
(yoooow yooooooow yoyoyoooow yow yow yow yiyiyiyiyiyiYIAY yiyiyiyiyiyiyyiay yiay yiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay brrrrsht boom darum darum ding ding rump BROOOOOOOM)
this part is kinda a generic NC ship, obviously inspired by crimson clutter (hardest demon). then it just goes and rips the gg from cata lol
SO THATS MY REVIEW! 10/10 FOR ORIGINALITY! THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST UNIQUE TOP 1S EVER!!!! ALL IN 56 SECONDS!! The deco is a different story. THANKS FOR READING!!!!!! THIS TOOK A WHILE!!! BYEEEEE!!!! BYE BYE BYEE!!!! GOODBYE!!! CYA!!! YOU CAN CLICK OFF NOW!!! BYE!!!
#geometry dash#sakupen circles#gd#gd level review#level review#slidy#slidyyyyc#nick24#sakupen#circles#hell#bruh#the j#diamond#cursed#spaceuk#nine circles#circles level#unique#crazy#wacky#original#science#gmd#youtube#food#gaming#nature#culture#cute
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wanna share some tips for sustainable fashion, because its important to me :]
ok so everyone knows by now that fast fashion bad, im not gonna sit here and go into that and i encourage you to do your own research! The point of this is how to be more sustainable with clothing to help out the environment WHILE being able to follow current “fashion trends” :]
* note: the point of this is not to shame anyone who has ever shopped fast fashion. we all have. the point of this is how to reduce ur own carbon footprint and be mindful of the impact you yourself are making on the environment
firstly lets talk about donation sites like goodwill, salvation army, etc. Donating your old clothes is obviously not evil in of itself - the problem occurs when people overconsume; they buy huge hauls of clothes once a week that go out of style by the time they have their next haul. and then theyre donating these huge hauls of (typically poor quality as well) clothing to goodwill super super often. this surplus of donations causes more clothes to end up in landfills (goodwill dumps all of their clothes that dont get bought ). The top result on google says that it takes 200+ years for clothes to decompose in landfills, and that textiles generate greenhouse gases and toxic chemicals into our water and soil.
so step one is to stop overconsuming. you dont need to buy multiple items of clothing every single week. even if you donate it, your actions are still harmful. it may be hard to stop this, especially if buying clothes this way is an outlet for you, and i understand that, but this is really the first step to being more sustainable. (i can make a guide to help with overconsumption if ppl want, but i dont want this post to get too lengthy)
secondly, learn that fashion trends literally arent real. and since were in the age of technology and short video platforms cough TikTok cough, fashion trends last MUCH shorter than they used to in previous decades. Look at that weird pattern sweater dress thing that went viral for about a week before ppl got tired of it.
create your own, unique style, with pieces that you can keep in your closet for years and years.
obviously, following fashion trends is inevitable, especially for younger people. if this is the case for you, dont blindly follow fashion trends. make sure you actually like what youre purchasing, and that you wont toss it the second it goes “out of style”
next step shop second hand!! this ones obvious and ill commend our generation because were already super good at it! :] heres some tips to be sustainable while doing so:
buy clothes that will last. Once again leaving trends out of it. Do you actually like the piece, or is it just trendy?
do you have a piece like this already?
get clothes that can be styled in multiple different ways if you can!!!! this means that youll be able to keep them for longer esp if its something that wont ever go out of style :)
and lastly, the most important tip (imo) keep your freaking clothes.
keep them for years, decades even. Keep them for your kids! wont have kids? give them to your friends, family, etc. fashion trends always always cycle, so if youre throwing something out because its out of style, maybe try keeping it for a few years! itll come back in style, and you wont have to rush out and buy the over priced version :]
remember how cool it was to inherit your parents old ass clothes from the 80s/90s? you had real vintage to show off! keep your clothes!
the item is worn out! Upcyle! T shirt tote bags are super easy to make, and everyone always needs cleaning rags. be creative ! ive seen headbands, bags, new items of clothing, key chains, etc. maybe this is even an opportunity to learn a new hobby!
thats all ive got for now! feel free to rb and add on your tips/ how you stay sustainable/ corrections to my information. Mina Le has a spectacular video on overconsumption and fast fashion trends called “The Cult of Shein” if you want to learn more :]
#fashion#clothes#sustainability#sustainable#fashion trends#alternative#post punk#aesthetic clothing#dark academia#goth aesthetic#designer#runway
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transits of the week: oct 18- oct 24
October 18
Libra Sun Square Capricorn Saturn
There is a lost connection between purpose and drive, the chances of succeeding are low, take it easy instead. What can you do to embrace your purpose?
Virgo Venus opposite Pisces Neptune
The light dances and spins, reality is spinning and you are floating. Find the sweet spot between truth and happiness. Do not let your mind stray too far from your body.
Aries Mars Square Capricorn Jupiter
Do not let impulsiveness rule of your being, instead move with caution. The atmosphere will be full of tension and confusion, keep to yourself, and attempt to settle your own emotions.
October 19
Moon in Sagittarius
Set intentions when it comes to your dreams, the lunar position moves to be dominated by Jupiter. Allow your mind to connect with your soul to explore the beyond. What makes you happy?
Virgo Venus trine Capricorn Jupiter
Communication is at its height, feel what you say and say what you mean. Be wary of impulsive spending. Use your adaptability for something productive and positive, you may want to relax but nows the time to accomplish.
Scorpio Mercury opposite Taurus Uranus
“I’m right, you’re wrong” type of energy will take place and cause confusion and heavy misunderstandings. The need to feel independent & act with brashness needs to be controlled. Find peace with yourself, go into your own sanctuary.
October 20
Virgo Venus square Gemini North node
Your heart is not in tune with your needs, do not make big decisions during this period unless you are carefully thinking them through. Be kind and patient to yourself, nurture your soul, keep that connection with mind & heart flowing.
October 21
Moon in Capricorn
Center and ground yourself into your intentions, what is causing you to feel empowered and what is causing you to feel weakened? You are more than you could ever fathom, you are radiant!
Virgo Venus trine Capricorn pluto
Nurture those existing relationships to prepare for new ones. Your heart is opening up to the beautiful darkness of the world. Be wary of feelings of jealousy and possession, keep healthy boundaries. You cannot control everything.
Scorpio Mercury quintile Capricorn Jupiter
There is talent ready to explode from your being, allow your mind to run and target this energy into your own version of creativity and passion, itll do you good to start a task youve been avoiding.
October 22
Aries Mars Semisextile Pisces Neptune
The subconscious mind is empowering your sense of drive and worth, use this for something productive rather than letting it fester in your mind and create destruction. Listen to your dreams and write them down.
Sun in Scorpio
The star sign has made its way into the heart of pluto, a burst of rebirth and revolution will take place over the coming month, think before you speak but speak from a place of truth of course, move with grace and beauty, keep that darkness ready and prepared.
October 23
Moon in Aquarius
Your emotions are now being powered by intellect and expansion, you may feel restless and the need to accomplish something will weigh you down if you dont get your brain moving and keep yourself active. Protect your energy.
October 24
Scorpio Mercury sesquisquare Pisces Neptune
What to do next? A stuck mentality will weigh down onto your being. Find out if this is your cue to rest or overcome, it will not be the same choice for everyone. Either take a break to rest your mind or challenge yourself to defeat.
Virgo Venus trine Capricorn Saturn
There are plans that are being put into motion waiting for your sign off, a few big decisions are getting ready to be presented to you. This is positive when it comes to settling and finding your footing. You have worked and now you are being rewarded
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random interview 8: do you have any other favorite animes? (also anime recomendation: mairimashita iruma-kun!/welcome to demon school iruma-kun! it's great comedy :D)
Ive seen mairimashita iruma-kun! Its so good I'm waiting till theres more episode till i catch up on season 2, but @gentrychild made a welcome to demon school bnha au fic and its SO good!!
Now first off i gotta state my all time favorite anime Ranma 1/2. If youve never seen it, its made by the same creator as Inuyasha. Its a marital arts comedy with an insane amount of love triangles, weird fights and crazy magic! Just real fun(be warned though there are quite a bit of toppless scenes but nothing sexual)
My Next Life as a Villianess: All Roads Lead To Doom! Is also really good I swear it is the most bi reverse harem ive ever seen, and for the most part really wholesome and mostly plot driven.
Haikyuu is now one of my all time faves! I dont usually like sports anime but this one hits all the right notes, I just want these boys to go to Nationals!!
Violet Evergarden is one I started thanks to hearing Drawfee talk about it all the time and Im so glad I did!! Its literally if therapy was an anime, I cried so much!!
Vandread is a classic in my book, its such a fun take to the sci fi mecha genre and to this day I am STILL trying to unearth its ova episodes
Ascendance of a Bookworm is great! Its informative, fun and a creative take on the isekai genre!! The entire time watching it I just wanted this girl to get a book!
Overlord is stunning, though the show doesnt hit all the points for me, visually is great and the plot is so good though I'm nervous on how itll end
These are just the ones on the top of my head rn
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Borderlands Foam Wig Tutorial (Tyreen)
I was chatting with the lovely @void-noises-exe and it eventually circled around to offering to make a wig tutorial because you don’t see too terribly many, just thought I’d throw mine out ( especially because It was next to impossible to find good references of a foam version of Ty’s hair.) So this will be for foam wigs in general but Tyreen’s hair specifically (with a few pics of my Fiona wig from tales as well because they better accentuate my points) I didn’t plan on making this so I am missing a few pictures that might be helpful but here we go. This will not be short.
Supplies:
-Craft foam (ideally, in small and XL sheets, but you can make do with whatever size you have available)
- Spray paint as close to the BASE color of the wig you need (for Ty I used white, for Fiona a medium brown) ideally in a matte.
- a FUCKLOAD of paints (i use cheap acrylics from the craft store ) in Black, and then several shades of the colors in the hair. (For Fiona i used i think four browns? Tyreens shaved sides have three browns, and the top had an additional yellow-brown i mixed) try to vary them in darkness levels to add depth.
- multiple paint brushes. I like to use around four or five of varying sizes and hardness levels.
- plenty Hot glue, and a hot glue gun (note: you COULD use other typres of adhesive, I like hot glue because its got great hold on foam, it sets FAST and worst case scenario I can take a hair dryer to it and melt it again if I need something to be undone.)
- scissors
- duct tape
-plastic wrap
-sharpie
-wig head
-Plenty of reference images
(optional supplies include a rotary cutter and or exacto-knife [trust me, itll make your life so much easier] , and patience. )
SO to start
1) Put your hair in a wig cap or however you plan on wearing it under your wig. Wrap your whole hair bit of your head in plastic wrap. Make sure you get over your ears and the baby hairs on your neck if you want to keep them.
2) Wrap all the plastic covered bits in duct tape. This is easier for a friend to do on you, but not impossible to do alone, just make sure to get it all. It should be snug. Make sure you get as far down the back of your neck and down your sideburn area as you can. (Most characters have a bit of fringe hanging down in the back so its not the BIGGEST concern for them, but Ty’s got nada so you’re gonna want some good coverage for your hair line.)
3) Take your sharpie and draw an outline of where your ear is, and along the hairline you’d like your wig to have. For short haired characters you dont want to cut too far behind the ear or your hair will peek out, so I like to underestimate how big my ear is and adjust as needed later. Dont make your wig hairline too high either, particularly if you’re making a wig for a character who has no fringe in the front.
4) Take that bad boy off and cut along your outlines. Try it on again, adjust lines as needed. rinse and repeat.
5) once you reach a semi-accurate mold of your head, you’re gonna wanna take it off and cut AT LEAST 4 (front, back, and both sides (I like to do 8, it will lay flatter) sections,coming to a point at the crown of your head. It should come out looking something like this. NOTE : they’re all still connected in the middle. If you’re doing 8, cut each of these 4 in half. )
6) Lay out your foam beneath this. If you dont have a piece of foam big enough to trace this bad boy onto, what I do is literally just break out the hot glue gun a bit early, glue a couple pieces together along the edges, until i get a nice big connected surface. Trace this guy on there as accurately as you can, cut it out, and then glue all your sides together. Now you should have a foam version of your duct tape hat.
(Dont worry if the sides wont stay down, if you’re doing a character like Ty where thats an issue, we’ll get to that part later. )
7) (Optional but VERY helpful) Grab your wig head, and your duct tape head. Tape the duct tape back together and put something in it to make it hold shape, I use poly-fil. Tape the head-form to the wig head, and put your little foam cap on top of that.
8) Time to get creative. You’re gonna want to start from the bottom layers first. For Tyreen that’s the long fringe and her undercut. The strategy I decided on was to take a few large rectangular strips of foam, and lay them out everywhere I wanted the undercut to be and cut along the edges to match the hairline. I don’t have a picture of this exact point in the process but I have one from the beginning of the next step. Really the only thing to note at this point is obviously, your head is round and rectangles are not, for the curves where it sticks up along the edges, cut down where it sticks up in a little triangle and hot glue the ends together (you can sort of see this at the top left in the picture below). Dont worry about seams at this point, we’ll hide them later.
9) This was not the case for Fiona who has very flat hair ( especially because of her hat) but Tyreen has a lot of volume especially towards the front of her head. For hair pieces that need volume, such as the ones that are glued down here, cut two of the exact same foam piece (i like to do them in little waves like the side, but also just a little arch is good for volume without flips such as the front piece) and glue the matching edges together. Make sure the hair triangle is facing the way youd like it to! Then Flatten out the top as much as you can, the bottom will keep the volume and the top ill be able to be covered by “2D” hair pieces.
(NOTE: Honestly, it’s REALLY difficult to end up with an exact copy of cannon, and I ALLLLWAYS get carried away with the spikes. In the end, go by your reference images, but also follow your heart. Cosplay is half about having fun creating. )
10) Once youve started gluing, make sure to keep in mind where your part is (if you have one). For Fiona i didn’t trust myself so I glued in the hair at the part BEFORE anything, and left them ready to be glued down while I worked my way up to them.
NOTE: All the hair at the parts of BOTH wigs is a single piece of foam.You want a nice wide base whenever possible to cover up the seams of all of the other edges of the hair. For your part, Carefully glue along the very end of your strip of foam and stick it down. It will be the last piece to be glueddown on top of everything else to make it look nice and clean.
11) Slowly start working your way around the head, gluing down first anything that will need to be covered (3D pieces and bottom pieces) before getting towards the top where youll need to be more strategic about what is going down and what can cover your edges. I’d definitely recommend mixing 2D and 3D pieces if that’s something you want to experiment with, otherwise, such as in the pic below, it is possible to get volume from a 2D piece, simply by gluing it in a way where it wont lie flat against the head.
12) in the picture above you can also catch a glimpse of Ty’s cow lick. Those are done exactly the same as our 3D pieces from before, only you trace the edges of the open end, and should end up with a triangular third side to be glued in, then just glue along the edges just like the hair part.
13) Dont feel you have to overdo how many pieces the hair has, remember you may also paint in pieces and designs when it comes to the line-art!
14) Once you’ve added everything from the bottom that you’d like to, go ahead and glue down your hair-part.
15) So, obviously, I wasn’t a big fan of Tyreen’s undercut just being flat foam across half my head. So I took an exacto to it for what felt like years. REALLY over-do it on the edges, it’ll get rid of that harsh foam line and give it a little more of a natural blend. Also pay special attention to all of your seams in the foam. The more distressing there is there, the less youll be able to spot lines later.
16) So once you have the overall structure of your wig and you’re thinking you might be happy with this, its spray paint time. (I’d recommend disposable gloves for this, you’re gonna need to maneuver it every which way to get the pain in every cranny and that paint does NOT like to come off easy.) Theres really not much advice I can offer on it, just be patient, and do a couple layers, spray it from every angle and let it dry completely before moving on to the next step unless youre as impatient as I am and dont mind ruining a few paintbrushes.
17) So, like the Fiona pic a few back or this one here, you should have a fairly flat evenly painted foam sculpture. Now is around the time you might start seeing all the inaccuracies in what you’ve made. You gotta push past that it’ll look great I promise. Time to get really creative.
18) for Ty I started by painting the buzzed bits in a base brown, and started in on the line art and her roots while i waited for it to dry before going in with two more colors of brown for depth.
19) For her roots I ended up using three colors. Black at the very bottom (which blends into the line art) a dark brown that matches more or less the buzz, and then after the fact, a custom yellowed-brown to blend better into the white and give us a little more texture. For this and the rest of the cel-shading in the hair, dab your brush before painting and try to mostly stick to light strokes in one direction (OR: if you have one, a particularly hard bristled paint brush does wonders for this) you don’t want the ends of your strokes to be too defined.
20) Outline the edges of the hair and all prominent pieces, particularly the hot-glue seams, itll make them less noticable. (dont forget the little animation squiggles for Ty’s sides) and beyond that-- honestly, black out to your hearts content. These pics are from when I thought I’d finished. I really felt I’d over detailed. The next day I looked at a picture and realized there is always WAY more texture and outlining than I feel like I see. Honestly, you cant really over-do it, especially with fine solid black lines.
21) The next day I came back at it with the yellowed-brown and LOTS more solid black lines. (Currently in the process of taming down where I got too excessive with the spikes on the side)
22) Once it’s all dried, time to try on. Here’s where we address if you have a short haired character, and the edges of your wig just wont stay down -- invest in a little theatrical grade spirit gum. It’s not too terribly expensive, and unfortunately, I tried the cheaper halloween makeup kind, and it just wont hold how you need it too (and please for my sake, also make sure you get spirit gum remover) I took some hair gel (you could also use elmers glue) just to glue up as much of my hair as I could on the sides and the back of my neck to keep them from the spirit gum, and dabbed it along all of the prominent edges of the wig (namely, side and back) wait for it to get a little tacky and stick that MF-er down good.
Aaaaand Voila???
Let me know if I missed any steps? Its fairly simple, once you get going -- just time consuming.
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hi, could i get a compatibility reading with nct127? i love astrology and i have an idea of who i think itll be but i want someone elses insight :)
im a virgo sun, pisces moon, capricorn rising, virgo mercury, scorpio venus, and taurus mars.
thank you so much<3
hi, thank you sm for requesting! <3 let me know if i got it right hehe, i honestly had to think about it for a little while! onto your reading ~
⌜NCT 127 Compatibility Reading⌟
you are most compatible with Mark!
Trine – Moon, Mercury & Mars
So to start off, I wanted to talk about the Trine between Mark’s Mercury in Cancer and your Pisces Moon. This would mean that you’d feel comfortable sharing your emotions with him without feeling judged or like a burden on him, because he’d give you great advice in return. You’d feel like you can talk with him about anything endlessly, and he’d be great at comforting you. Good Moon – Mercury aspects are also just great in relationships, because with them there would be little to no misunderstandings when it comes to how the other feels. If one of you would feel hurt, you’d be able to communicate this without much drama.
The next Trine would be between your beforementioned Pisces Moon and Mark’s Scorpio Mars. I always make sure that the synastries include good Moon – Mars connection because when they are badly aspected, they can cause a lot of trouble with couples. But here, the Trine would cause Mark to feel protective over your emotions and he’d actively try to avoid hurting them. He wouldn’t be the type of person to hurt you intentionally, but would want to make things right when you two have an argument. You would be able to give him comfort and affection in return, which he would appreciate greatly. You two would enjoy spending time together and would rarely let any misunderstandings ruin your relationship.
Trine – Mercury, Venus & Mars
So returning to his Cancer Mercury, it trines your Venus in Scorpio. Meaning you two would love talking with each other and communication would be warm and affectionate. You’d be able to spend hours listening to each other without running out of topics. You’d maybe even share some interests and ideas, which would also fuel the conversation. Doing creative things together would also be great fun for you. Your Scorpio Venus would probably appreciate the way Mark can choose his words so carefully and the way he avoids hurting other people’s feelings.
The other Trine I wanted to address is the one between his Virgo Venus and your Taurus Mars. This aspect would probably add a lot of attraction between you two, causing your relationship to feel warm and full of love. You’d love being affectionate with each other, maybe even to the point where you feel like you can’t keep your hands off of each other! It’s a great aspect between couples because it can also ensure that the passion between you two would remain, and you’d barely get tired of each other. He’d find the way you assert yourself and take action in life attractive and you two would make a good team.
Conjunction – Venus
Staying with Mark’s Virgo Venus, it conjuncts your Sun and Mercury in the same sign. I thought it was important to mention, because Virgo usually likes to have similarities with their partners. The Venus – Sun connection would mean that you would be able to identify with the way he views love and relationships. He’d find you attractive, and the relationship would influence your ego. The smoother it goes, the better you’d feel about yourself. When the Sun touches an aspect it also makes a union warm and lively, so you’d feel energized when being together.
Lastly, the Venus – Mercury connection I’ve already talked about above but as a Trine. A Conjunction works more in the way that you two would feel like you can relate to each other in that area and you’d share some similarities. When Venus is apart of it, this can also bring some attraction into the mix, so it is a great aspect to have. He’d find the way you communicate attractive and would love talking to you, mainly because you’d just get each other pretty well.
Overall, I think your relationship would be based on mutual understanding and just the fun of being together. Your Earth/Water placements would find joy in the comfort and security with each other, while you’d also be able to boost each other’s mood. You’d feel totally safe talking about anything and nothing and being together would make you both warm and fuzzy. All in all, it seems you’d have good potential for a nice relationship.
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〻disclaimer !
of course there are a lot more aspects to consider when doing synastry. but considering that would be a tad too long to do here - i just sort out the aspects that are the most striking to me. also - there is no “perfect” synastry. it would be nearly impossible to do a synastry without finding some disharmonious aspects. this is simply my interpretation of the most prominent aspects between the two charts. also astrology is a purely theoretical concept, you should always take these readings as interpretations. we, of course, don’t know these idols personally and this is all speculation based on their and your natal charts.
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© mndchldsung
#anon ask#requested#compatibility ask#compatibility request#compatibility ship#compatibility ships#compatibility reading#synastry ship#synastry request#synastry ask#kpop synastry#kpop ships#kpop astrology ships#mndchldsung
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some random klaus / dave / klave smut and affection and angsty hcs
(as of: 8/25/20)
klaus
*lost his virginity at 14
*his first time was non-consensual
*he was very high but also had a level of awareness. when he tells people he doesn’t remember it’s a lie. he does remember. not all of the details but enough - images of a location, the feeling of hands belonging to someone bigger than him, the pain. the crying that left his eyes red and had his siblings rolling their eyes at him the whole next day, avoiding him because of course klaus was high. he never corrected them
*started having sex in exchange for money / drugs / shelter mostly on accident. some guy pays you for sucking his dick in the alley behind that one bakery’s dumpster, where the wall is warm, and things just.. escalate quickly
*(it actually started when he was younger than that but he doesn’t want to get himself in trouble and he’s not a snitch so, for those reasons, it’s totally the time above that starts it. and it’s totally an accident)
*he really is into a lot of kinky shit. there are things he isn’t into of course but he reaches a point where: if it’s something the person he’s with wants and they’re a client - if they pay enough there’s a good chance he’ll go with it. if they’re a partner - he’ll still go with it. because what he wants or doesnt want doesnt matter, as has been shown to him over and over and over again. people give him the illusion of choice, asking, but klaus knows better
*so a lot of his kinks do come from trauma and things from his time on the streets that he won’t talk about but he doesn’t care. and if somebody tries to get him to talk about it because it’s “not healthy” (side eyes ben) he will exit the situation IMMEDIATELY
*his biggest kinks, the ones he genuinely loves and doesn’t need to train himself to get off on, are choking, being told what to do, and getting his hair pulled. also: he has a daddy kink but he never brings it up. if whoever he’s having sex with does then fine - but he wont
*a few of the ones he trained himself to enjoy and now actually does (usually) are hitting, degradation, humiliation, being tied up (until his kidnapping), getting pushed around and forced into position (he tells himself its like being told what to do only a little more aggressive. or a lot more aggressive. tomato, to-mah-to)
*is very vocal during sex - not always genuinely
*very good at talking dirty when he’s in the mood to
*l o v e s sucking dick and is v pro at it
dave
*lost his virginity at 29
*klaus was his first.. everything
*he’s been kissed before - once, when he was younger. he didn’t know her name and he’s pretty sure she didn’t know his. she didn’t ask before kissing him. part of him is still a little disappointed that was taken from him but he feels like admitting that would be pathetic
*he doesn’t really know anything about sex - gay sex anyway. living through the homophobic 1950′s and 1960′s doesn’t exactly give a teen or an adult a real way to learn anything. he has a basic idea, and sometimes as a teen his brain would get uhhh creative, but that’s all
*listen.. dave katz has a big dick and we all know it
*he’s also very sensitive. everywhere. it’s annoying and embarrassing up until klaus gets his hands on him
*and he’s not super vocal but he isn’t quiet either - he’s a fun and sexy in between
*discovers he really likes sucking dick - not great at it yet but his enthusiasm makes up for that easily
*is soft but also a dom-in-training
klave
*their first time is the same night we see them kiss in saigon
*dave tops their first time, and a lot of the time. it isn’t until after they get out of vietnam and to the united states, in that era or 2019, that they try switching
*everything about dave makes him seem like a top but klaus finds that putting dave on his stomach really changes that vibe quickly
*the first sex act that klaus introduces dave too their first time is blowjobs. klaus loves having a dick in his mouth and dave’s is *incomprehensible noises* so he asks if he can blow him. dave admits to not knowing what he’s talking about and klaus is suddenly the cheshire cat
*dave is the first ‘relationship’ he’s had where the other person actually gave a shit whether or not he came at all, let alone every time.
*unlike with all previous partners klaus is very vocal in bed with dave and he’s never had to fake a thing
*”dave loves making klaus flustered to the point of begging, but it has the drawback of him getting hard whenever klaus gets whiny, no matter the location” - hc brought to my attention by @anglophile-rin and i love its o much
*they actually have a fair amount of semi-public sex and not all of it is initiated by klaus
*dave doesn’t have any kinks that he’s aware of but he’s more than willing to try out anything that klaus wants to do
*they find out together that dave is definitely into Some Things
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
KLAVE SMUT?? HCS?? IDEAS??
(a few snippets from a discussion on the topic between myself and the angel, the yee to my haw, the legendary @cowgaykermit )
“i think for klave, a kink klaus didn't realize he had that is kind of tied into the daddy kink is a praise kink. he loves making dave proud of him. but he's never had someone he wanted to make proud before, not until dave” - sara
“i'm sad about dave's kiss too : ( i was originally going to go with 'dave has never been kissed at all', because he was at least kind of aware of his sexuality and didnt want to risk leading a girl on (cuz he's kind like that), but the 'being kissed without your consent' stuck out to me more. maybe its the angst, maybe it's the personal experience..s. plural. idk but it felt like it made more sense???” - mace
“also would any of his kinks change after the torture? like he's always been into being tied up but now when dave tries it he has a flashback and he swears he doesn't know where five is“ - sara
“no yeah if dave tried to tie him up, even if klaus suggested it (either not aware of the extent of his trauma mentally / emotionally or aware but thinking he could handle it) klaus would be right back in that motel room - beaten, covered in burns from lighters and cigarettes alike, cut, going through withdrawal as his dead brother stands in front of him and tries to lecture him - begging to be untied and let go, breaking down in a way he hadnt let himself during the real situation because he really doesnt know where five is. he really doesnt know anything - and dave would immediately untie him and try to bring klaus back from wherever he’s gone mentally that sounds so so terrifying-“ - mace
“and YES!! 100% dave is down to try kinks and things. he doesnt know any but klaus suggests ones he thinks dave might enjoy, and ones klaus himself really gets off on. he offers up more intense ones, more advanced ones, later on - over time - not because he particularly likes them but because he wants dave to have the chance to try everything that sparks an interest in him” - mace
“a supportive dave is the only true dave i think. like... can you imagine?? dave not supporting klaus in something??? unrealistic.” - mace
“like i don't mind fics where dave has some experience but yes klaus being his teacher and being nice and gentle with his teaching unlike when he was "taught"“ - sara
“dave asking klaus if whoever taught him was as kind and nice as klaus was to him and klaus not knowing how to answer that because obvi the answer is a resounding no but having to explain it, including his age and how he doesn't remember his first time fully and all this other stuff and he knows itll make dave sad and he can't have that because then dave is sad . also he wants dave to think nice things about him” - sara
#this isn't everything but tbh when i sit down to list out hcs i have i tend to forget everything. and that's what happened here#so i did my best to compile the ones i could remember - and the ones i remembered with the help of one (1) gay kermit#and instead of trying to fit it all into bullet points i just threw some quotes from our convo together#that i think cover things a bit more. this convo is actually much longer and ongoing but i really do not want to share the entire exchange#gotta keep some things secret ayye lmao#anyway. if / when i remember more hcs for this topic i will reblog with add-ons#but for now: hi#my anxiety over posting this is A Lot l m a o#mytuaposts
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