The Family Truckster

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION — Jeremiah S. Chechik (1989)

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION 1989 — dir. Jeremiah S. Chechik

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION 1989 — dir. Jeremiah S. Chechik

NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989) — dir. Jeremiah S. Chechik

25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (11/25) ↳ national lampoon's christmas vacation (1989)

🎄 25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS → DAY TEN 🎄 NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989), Jeremiah S. Chechik “Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.”

NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989) 

They want you to say grace. The blessing!

NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION — Jeremiah S. Chechik (1989)

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989) dir. Jeremiah S. Chechik

Brynjolf, after "Speaking with Silence": Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one.

Brynjolf: I'd like Mercer Frey, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on the Dryside with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here!

Brynjolf: With a big ribbon on his head!

Brynjolf: And I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of horker dung he is!

Brynjolf: Hallelujah! By Nocturnal!

Brynjolf: Where's the mead?

Sometimes I think about this fun little AU I have where Snape somehow ends up on the horcrux hunt with Harry, Hermione, and Ron for whatever bullshit plot reason. And the three of them are just like "Merlin he's an asshole, I can't believe we're gonna bully him into being our weird grumpy uncle figure" and then there's Snape being all disgruntled and trying to beat them off with a stick and the trio just doubling down harder out of spite.

Can you imagine Malfoy Manner with Snape being there, it would be a shitshow of epic proportions. Snape has really no idea that the three of them had grown on him like some kind of obnoxious fungus because he's absolutely terrible at handling his emotions right up until they're being threatened by torture to hand over the sword of Gryffindor and having that italicized "oh" moment right there. Which of course leads to him trying to goad Bellatrix and the rest of the Death Eaters into redirecting their attention on him because fuck those are kind of his kids now. And then the Golden Trio having their moment of realization with concrete proof that there's real emotions and feelings hiding underneath all that snark and snarling.

I just want them to get along.