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#my spelling is the most powerful with c at a distant second
loquaciousquark · 5 months
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Cazador's Ritual Runes, Translated
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Inner: AMPLIFY + HIM + FLOW + EMPOWR [sic] Middle: WE OFFER THE FORCE OF LIFE Outer: WE GATHER HERE TO INVOKE THE POWER OF BLOD [sic]
Mephistopheles can't spell for beans.
(Detailed analysis & conjecture regarding this text, the Rite of Profane Ascension, & Astarion's translated scars under the cut.)
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The second ring was the easiest, as the characters are very similar to Latin letters and clearly read out "WE OFFER THE FORCE OF LIFE." Characters were now known for C, E, F, H, I, L, O, R, T, and W. It wasn't clear yet if there were cases.
I was struggling with the first ring, though after decoding the second, I could get a likely "_M_LIF_ + _IM + _LOW + EM_OWR". Guessing the character for P, Y, and A based on context gave me "AMPLIFY + _IM + _LOW + EMPOWR", but I had doubts over the first characters for words two and three. I suspected they would be HIM and FLOW, but the H and F characters didn't match the H from the second ring's "THE" or the F from "AMPLIFY". Also, "empower" was misspelled, which made me pause.
Abandoning those for a moment, the third ring mapped well onto "WE _ATHER HERE TO I__O_E THE _OWER OF _LO_". Ruling out known letters which were not present, I could guess "WE GATHER HERE TO I__O_E THE POWER OF _LO_", but again the P from "POWER" was not the same as the P from "AMPLIFY" in the inner ring. However, it was very, very similar, and nothing else fit, so I committed, now suspecting there were capital versions of some letters included in the text.
At this point I went digging for resources. I found a copy of an Infernal alphabet on the Forgotten Realms wiki, and while it looks like the typeface Larian used is a bespoke creation for the game rather than a 1:1 copy of this alphabet, the letters for lowercase G, N, K, B, and D were nearly identical. Y (from AMPLIFY) also matched perfectly, confirming that earlier guess. This gave a clear "WE GATHER HERE TO INVOKE THE POWER OF BLOD."
This resulted in: AMPLIFY + _IM + _LOW + EMPOWR WE OFFER THE FORCE OF LIFE WE GATHER HERE TO INVOKE THE POWER OF BLOD
Looking at the wiki for capital letters, the only ones I could find which might reasonably fit the _IM missing character (assuming the Larian alphabet was based off this wiki typography) were A, B, H, O, T, V, and Y. Of those choices, only AIM, HIM, TIM, and VIM were words, and as cheesy as Cazador is, I couldn't imagine him saying AMPLIFY TIM FLOW EMPOWR. Given the alternatives, HIM was the only choice which made sense.
I went through the same process for _LOW, but this character seems unmatchable to me. By far it looks the most like the E from the Infernal alphabet, with maybe a capital Y being a distant second. However, ELOW and YLOW are certainly not words, and absent all other comparatives, the character in question does resemble a fancy F. Barring other languages, FLOW with a capital or unique F fits best.
AMPLIFY + HIM + FLOW + EMPOWR WE OFFER THE FORCE OF LIFE WE GATHER HERE TO INVOKE THE POWER OF BLOD
I did double-check the texts available in Cazador's mansion just to make sure this hadn't been translated elsewhere (after I'd done all the work, of course), and the only written text of relevance is from the Black Mass scroll you find near Vellioth's skull. It reads:
The Rite of Profane Ascension Oh, piteous dead! Oh, ravenous dead! Immortality is your gift, but darkness is your prison and hunger its gaoler. The Rite of Profane Ascension will release you. Walk in the sun. Suffer not from hunger. Grow your power beyond anything you imagined. A pact has been made with the Lord of Hellfire. Deliver unto him seven thousand souls, each bearing an Infernal mark, and you shall be free of your chains. You shall know true power. Deliver the souls. Speak the words. Ecce dominus, Has animas offero in sacrificio, Nunc volo potestatem quam pollicitus es mihi.
The Latin translates (as best I can tell with my incredibly weak Latin) to:
Behold [the] Lord, I offer these souls in sacrifice, I want the power thou hast promised me.
Which is interesting, but not clearly mapped to the Infernal above. Then I started wondering what relationship Astarion's scars have with all this, but thankfully, someone else has done the work here!
Astarion's scars have been transcribed and translated in a wonderfully detailed Reddit post by northpaw_s in 2020, but the salient points are that they appear to be in a mishmash of mangled Latin and Romance languages ("Infernal") and read:
Hoyc inferiu non iurare per igneu Naec virba loquor Eoai mundo muoat
Which appears to roughly translate to:
This soul swears no oath by fire Nor words does he speak In the realm of death
This makes sense if it's a fragment of a contract. I suspect the other spawn's scars are all identical to Astarion's for game mechanics/development reasons, but it'd be wild if they did have minor differences to complete the rest of the phrases! I know the scars don't show on their backs they way they do on Astarion's outside of the moment of the ritual, but it really does make me wonder if there's a complete text of the poem in some writer's documentation somewhere.
Anyway, what did you do with your Thursday night?
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beepboopkek · 6 months
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— I will always come to your aid (AFAB!Reader)
AMAB!Reader has also been posted! including: Jing Yuan cw: !!NSFW!!, afab!reader, grammar and spelling errors possible, pwp but barely, hinted that reader has a s1ze k1nk, f1ng3r1ng, reader is a little sarcastic, still spreading my Jing Yuan is a Bastard (affectionate) agenda, masturbat1on, getting caught masturbat1ng, d1rty talk, cum eat1ng, no use of y/n, reader can be interpreted as the trailblazer but they are NOT stelle/caelus, safe sane and consensual w/c: 2k a/n: people liked strip starchess so much so here is another one of my brainrots... i dont usually like this troupe that much but i find myself excusing anything and everything for jing yuan so here we are. for my male reader likers i got u, its being posted right after this so you guys can enjoy too :3. also just remember that this is NOT stelle/caelus, its the you haha, i dont like shipping the raccoons with anyone as a personal pref so im just making that clear :3. anyways same warning as last time this is like my third time writing smut and also english isnty my first language. enjoy!!
The crisis on the Xianzhou Luofu was mostly over.
Which meant you had to leave the man you had fallen head over heels in love with.
Well— love may be an exaggeration but you weren't fucking around when it came to him.
Jing Yuan.
Your eyes had been hooked onto him the second you two met, his pleasant smile, his calm demeanor, his body—fuck, everything about him enamored you.
You could only wish that there was some other universe where he reciprocated your feelings.
You departed with a respectful nod of the head, despite wanting to smoosh your face between his pecs and cry about never getting to see them again.
The only hope that you did have though, was the jade abacus he had gifted you and your companions.
“No matter how astronomically distant you are, The Luofu Cloud Knights will always come to the aid of the Crew, whatever your need may be.”
Of course, his next sentence was to not use it for trivial matters when he saw March’s reaction, much to your amusement.
There was a discussion on who should keep the jade abacus, March being ruled out first much to her annoyance.
It landed between you and Dan Heng and given his history with the Xianzhou Luofu, he handed it to you.
That's how you ended up here, standing in front of your locked door with the abacus in your hand.
What if you grip it— You need to rinse your brain with cold water at this point…
You flopped onto bed, letting the exhaustion of the day seep into your bones as the plush blanket and pillows surrounded you.
You threw the abacus to your side, you'll take care of it later, not like you're gonna need it right now anyway.
Your mind flooded with images of Jing Yuan, his voice and everything you had been through together.
Fuck.
Your hand drifted towards your pussy, already feeling some wetness gathering at the thought of what you were about to do.
— Touch yourself to the thought of the General of the Cloud Knights on the Xianzhou Luofu, one of the most powerful beings to ever exist in history.
You shook your doubts away, he's just Jing Yuan to you.
You took off your shorts in record speed, tossing your panties along with it.
You never really touched yourself that often so you tried to imagine your hand being his instead.
You rubbed your clit, gasping at the cold touch of your fingers on the warm flesh.
How would he touch you?
He'd take his time, surely. He's not one to rush things— He'd work you open slowly for his cock—fuck, you're sure it's in proportion with how goddamn large his body is.
You moaned as you inserted two fingers inside you. You wanted to imagine Jing Yuan doing it, really, But, you also wanted an orgasm quickly so you can sleep. So, you just decided to go with imagining his voice talking to you.
You pistoned your fingers in and out, curling them at the spot only you could reach with your much smaller hands.
It was too intense, the thought of his deep voice guiding you through was enough to get your orgasm to graze along the edges of  your belly slowly, building up to be a strong one.
You grabbed the blanket next to you, gripping it tightly as you whispered Jing Yuan's name and continued thrusting your fingers inside you.
You swear the normal part of your brain recognised you gripping an object while gripping the blanket as well but you were genuinely too out of it to care in the slightest.
You're just about to orgasm when everything in your room rattles, as if there's an earthquake. 
Which should be impossible considering you are literally on a massive train that travels through space.
You let go of the blanket and sit up in shock, looking around to see what happened.
…With your fingers still inside you.
“Followers of the Nameless, I am here to assist you, tell me about the situ— Oh.”
You blinked.
Jing Yuan blinked.
Oh. Fuck.
You scrambled, ripping your fingers out and slapping your lower half with a pillow.
“J-Jing Yuan I-” 
You gulped, trying to calm your racing heart, you just got caught masturbating by your crush.
Life is going great.
Your cheeks and ears were beet red now, opening and closing your mouth as you tried to say something, anything to get you out of this situation.
Jing Yuan was just as surprised, if not astonished, by the scene that had unfolded in front of him.
He was finishing up some paperwork that Lady Fu had so kindly delivered to him in the Alchemy Commission when suddenly, the jade abacus he had clipped to his belt loop started vibrating.
Not one to panic, he quickly unhooked it and got it closer to his ear, so that he could hear what the Express were asking of.
What he didn't expect was to hear the voice of his crush, the one that he has acquired after decades of not entertaining any romantic relationships, whispering and calling out his name.
Okay, maybe now he should panic.
Without a second thought, Jing Yuan summoned his weapon and gripped the jade abacus back, signaling it to teleport him to your location.
Paperwork be damned he would rather lose a hundred years of his life if it mean you would be safe.
That landed him here, in front of a half-naked (and very surprised) you.
He dissolved his weapon into thin air and folded his arms against his chest.
“Well, this is a surprise.”
“Wow, you don't say.”
Jing Yuan raised an eyebrow at your tone.
“S-sorry, I don't know how you got here.”
An interesting turn of events.
“... Did you not call for me?”
“No, Why would I? Even if I did, how did you just…magically appear here?”
“Oh, dear.”
“What?”
“The jade abacus. I think you… I think you gripped it while you were…busy.”
He looked into your eyes and back down at the pillow that was barely covering your lower half.
“The jade aba—” 
You cut yourself off, turning to your side to where you had thrown it, only to find the wretched object to be in the center of your crumpled blanket.
“Fuck.” 
“Jing Yuan— I am so, so , so, sorry, I swear this was an honest mistake and I'll—”
Jing Yuan cut you off with the raise of his hand. “I forgive you.” “Really? Great let me j—”
“On one condition.” Of course there’s a catch. You sighed begrudgingly.
“What do you need help with?” “Quite the opposite, actually.” Your eyes widened but before you could let out your protests, Jing Yuan spoke up again. “You let me help you finish.” The gall of this man.You’re still going to take the chance that he doesn’t know what you were doing. “Finish what?”
You tried to sound innocent but your voice came out breathier than you wanted it to be. “Dont play coy now, you know exactly what I mean.” Your face burnt in embarrassment as you looked away. Jing Yuan dragged your desk chair and got it to the front of your bed before sitting down and making himself comfortable, propping one leg on the other and leaning back. “Go on, show me exactly what you were doing before I got here,hm?” “I can’t.” Jing Yuan paused, shit, had he misread the situation? Maybe he should—
“I can’t do it without you.” You had covered your red face at this point, way too embarrassed to look him in the eye while speaking. Jing Yuan just about lost it at that, abandoning all doubt and pouncing on you, grabbing your face to take you in a devouring kiss. He threw the pillow covering your bottom half in a random direction, quickly pecking you on the cheeks before pulling your hand over his. “Guide me.” You nodded shyly and pushed his hand towards your dripping pussy again. Fuck. His hands were just the way you imagined them. Warm and big, enough to hold your own two hands.
His hand (under your guidance and insistence) cupped your pussy and grinded the heel of his palm into your sensitive clit. “I’ve barely touched you, were you this wet while we were talking,hm? Did it turn you on to have me catch you in such an embarrassing state?” Jing Yuan whispered in your ear as he hovered over you and you thanked every aeon known for this opportunity because fuck, your imagination did not do any justice to how good the general was. Jing Yuan dipped the tip of his finger in your core, not entering but adding just enough stimulation for you to feel something there.
“Answer me.”
“No, I swear I didn’t, Jing Yuan, please—”
Jing Yuan smiled, he didn’t know you would be this easy to subdue.
He gently thrusted his finger inside, watching your face for any discomfort or resistance.
But, he was only met with your blissed out face, as you gasped in pleasure from his ministartions.
“Were you able to reach here?” He curled his finger upwards, hitting your sensitive spot just right.
You threw your hand over your mouth, pinching your mouth shut and praying, once again, to all the aeons you knew that the other passengers on the Express were dead asleep and couldn’t hear you. Granted, your room was the last in the carriage and had a decent amount of sound proofing but, you were still not risking it.
Your snapped out of your worries when Jing Yuan pushed in another finger alongside the one that was already in you.
“It looks like you’re getting distracted, maybe I’m not doing my job well enough?”
“N—Fuck, Its good, I’m sorry—Shit—”
Jing yuan simply kissed your head affectionately like he wasnt fingering you to hell and back right now and picked up the pace of his fingers.
Your hand was just gripping his wrist and you werent sure if it was to egg him to continue or get him to slow down and stop.
Maybe both.
Your head rolled back on the bed, exposing your bare neck to Jing Yuan as he immediately took the opportunity to cover your neck in kisses, Aeons be dammed. There's no way hes letting you walk out of this room unmarked and not carrying any proof of the evening you spent with him.
You gasped as your orgasm finally, finally overtook you. You shook in the general’s grasp as he continued thrusting his fingers in and out, drawing out the pleasure.
Taking his soaked fingers out, he popped them in his mouth, savouring the taste while you recovered from the intense bout of sensations you just went through.
You propped yourself up on your elbows again, looking at Jing Yuan owlishly as your head cleared from the horniness.
Jing Yuan only smiled at you before holding your head and kissing your forehead again before gathering you in his arms.
“Call me old fashioned or old but I do believe in the proper process of courting someone and,”
He looked into your eyes as he cupped your face in one palm and brushed the thumb along the seam of your chin.
“I think we skipped a few steps.”
“Yeah, no shit, general.”
He laughed at that, his chest shaking as the deep sound rumbled from his throat, you blushed again.
You were in the arms of the man you’ve wanted to kiss since you stepped foot on the Xianzhou ship.
You covered your burning face with your palms again as Jing Yuan’s laughter died down into little chuckles.
“We did all of that and youre getting shy now?”
“Shut up. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this.”
“Wanted what? To get fingered by me?”
“No! — I mean that too, I guess, but I meant being held by you! Stop playing games, Jing Yuan.”
Jing Yuan only laughed as he took his free hand and grabbed your hands, turning them towards him one after the other and kissing the palm.
“I jest, I jest. But, I must stay here for the night. I’m afraid I cant travel back to the Xianzhou Luofu seeing as we aren’t closeby.”
You smiled.
Jing Yuan’s eyes twinkled in mischief right back at you.
“Be my guest.”
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sakuracyanide · 1 month
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pls know most my life i thought zoeisite was a woman & the lesbians were cousins b/c america is WEIRD but you bringing sailor moon on dash has unlocked precious core memories even if the english dub is.. a thing that happened [ legit their english names are cemented in my head to this day thanks to toonami. tell me their japanese names and i just cry confusion into my hands as a young fan who didn't know better b/c i was literally like 5-8 years old ]
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softly go bleach your roots creep is like cemented in my brain the dub was so unhinged and i loved every fucked up second of it.
trust me trying to follow the changes between sailor moon adaptations is a nightmare. like classic & its og eng dub are basically different canons with totally different characters.
zoisite became zoycite, and now fandom forever spells zoisite (the actual rock) with a c and i'll die mad about it.
kunzite became malachite? for... reasons?? i don't think anyone has ever come out and said why.
and the manga is its own thing. like legit totally different vibe than the 90s anime - they were happening concurrently so the anime team was mostly just taking naoko's notes and then going feral??? like kunzite and zoisite are more or less an extended reference to patalliro. jadeite gets run over by a plane at one point. its fucking great. but like not that great if you want development for the main heroines. usagi does develop, but the rest of the girls stay very stagnant. the development in each season is given to whatever ragtag group of villains are being puppeted by the big bad. s1 had the shitennou, s2 had ali & an at the start bc the first season wrote itself into a corner by having usagi reset the timeline and they had to unfuck that before they could get started on the dark moon which you know what is a really upsetting plot i stan it. then it had the dark moon kingdom which ... if i remmeber right were people banished from the silver millennium for not wanting to be immortal and being concerned about all powerful monarchs? but they were corrupted. something something i would play saphir. s3 had the death busters and hotaru's hot dad. s4 had the amazon trio and the amazon quartet. and s5 had the sailor animates and i will die for lead crow & aluminium seiren's romance. so like if you care about the senshi as characters i don't really rec the 90s version on its own
and then there's sailor moon crystal which was supposed to be more faithful to the manga but was a ffffffffffucking mess. seriously i have never seen such ugly animation or bizarre animation choices for an ip that was lauded & is still upheld as having some of the most gorgeous backgrounds and animation in the genre. morimo clover z did the op and it slaps so like there's that but the rest of it is something else. it should be noted that the animation improves from season 3 onwards but they eventually just said fuck it and made movies out of the rest of it which is a bummer!
and then there's pretty guardian sailor moon (the live action drama which is THE BEST ADAPTATION I WILL GO TO WAR OVER THIS) which features all of the girls having an actual existential crisis over what it means to be reborn princesses from distant stars, it also gives them the spotlights they absolutely did not get in crystal or the og anime AND the shitennou get a lot of development.
and then theres the musicals.
i am happy to hold people at gunpoin - i mean, do a group watch of sailor moon! i really want to rewatch pgsm but i'm ngl its an early 00s live action jdrama so that........ that takes a strong mind to endure.
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Sharing Secrets
Hi guys! This is my first post, so I’m completely open to criticism. If there's something wrong with my grammar or spelling, it's always helpful is someone points it out. This post was based off of an ask, (by @fayhar ) which I can't attach because I don't know how to use this app lol. Also please, please, PLEASE send in requests!!!!!
This is a one-shot with 853 words
Pairings: Avengers x GN!Platonic!Reader, Clint Barton x GN!Platonic!Reader, Natasha Romonoff x GN!Platonic!Reader
Warnings: Fluff, angst if you look close, and talk about disability
Synopsis: Reader is deaf and doesn't speak to the team, because they don’t know the reader is deaf. Natasha and Clint persuade reader into sharing their secret.
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You were the newest recruit of the Avengers. Your powers; the ability to create vibrations, and you were very sensitive to them, too. Your powers aided in depth-perception, and you were always aware of your surroundings, which was very important because, subsequently, you were deaf.
Everyone just wrote you off as mute because you didn’t talk. You only really spoke to one person, Clint Barton, Hawkeye, because he knew sign language.
Everyone was curious about you, especially Natasha. Your lack of speech and the special shoes you always wore-which were very thin so you could feel vibrations-were noticed by everyone.
She was sitting in the kitchen when she observed Clint sneaking off from training. Intrigued, she followed him and stopped when she saw you speaking, or rather, signing, with Clint. Confused, she stealthy approached the two of you, careful not to make noise.
You, however, can feel her vibrations and smile in her direction, ushering her over. She peeks out from behind a desk and smiles and signs to you: “Are you deaf? Is that why you never speak?” to which you sign, “Yeah, I guess I should have told everyone.”
Clint turns to Natasha and whispers, “They were afraid that if you all found out they were deaf, you'd kick them off.”
Natasha frowns and quickly turns back to you, signing, “Obviously, being deaf doesn't cause any major problems, so I see no reason for kicking you off.”
You smile and sign to Clint and Natasha, “Maybe I should tell the whole team?”
The two of them nod and lead you into the common room, where they call a meeting. Clint supplies you with a whiteboard and marker he ran and got from the lab to write out what you need to say.
After about 5 minutes, everyone is piled into the common room, and for some reason, looking pretty annoyed.
“I was getting a lot of work done at the lab. What's so important, Nat?” Tony inquires.
“(Y/N) has something they wanted to tell the team,” Natasha replies.
“I’ve always wondered what they sound like!” Exclaims Wanda.
“Me too!” Smiles Peter.
“Oooh! They're finally going to speak?” Steve asks
“Not quite.” Says Clint, turning to smile at you.
The team turns to you; confusion etched in their faces.
“You're sure this was a good idea?” You sign to Clint and Natasha
“(Y/N), at some point, they were bound to ask why you're so quiet and distant!” Natasha replies worry on her face. “You have to tell them, (Y/N).” she signs after brushing a piece of (Y/H/C) from your face.
“You got this kid!” Clint signs with a smile.
“Kid, get on with it. I've got things to do, places to be.” Tony hisses, agitation residing in his typically nonchalant features.
Turning to Tony, Natasha narrows her eyes and whisper-yells, “Shut up, Tony, and let them take their time.”
Tony sticks up his hands in defense, and Clint motions to you to finally share your deepest secret. You grab a marker and write in thick letters, “I’m deaf.”
The team looks confused at first and then smiles at you.
“So that's why they're so distant!” Bucky says.
“Yep, they were afraid they'd be kicked off the team, so they kept it a secret. (Y/N) was sad they were so distanced, but theymeant no harm in being that way.” Clint adds.
“Well, good to know. (Y/N), you know you shouldn't keep secrets like this.” Steve frowns.
“What he meant was that you Don't need to keep secrets from us; we're your friends, and you are ours. We’ll love you no matter what! Don't do anything illegal, and you won't be removed.” Wanda chuckles.
You grin and turn to hug Clint and Natasha, who gestures to the team to come and join. Tony rolls his eyes but can't help but smile. Everyone wraps you in a warm hug.
Finally pulling away after what seemed to be hours, the team dismisses themselves, and everything goes back to normal. You turn to Clint and Natasha, thanking them for the courage to share your secret. They remind you how much the team loves you and how they’d do anything for you and head on their ways. You head to your room, smiling the whole way. One of the enormous weights has finally been lifted off your shoulders, and you feel light as ever.
A few days later, you are approached by Tony. In his hand is a small device.
“Since you can't hear us, and most of us can't sign, I created a portable speech to text and sign to speech device to help us communicate with one another.”
Luckily you can read lips, so you smile and nod. He hands you the little device. It's a bracelet, and when someone talks to you, the text will hover via hologram above it. When you sign, the bracelet announces what you're saying. You thank him and wrap him in a hug. He's taken aback, as you usually stay away from people, but after a few seconds, he accepts, hugging you back.
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nightshadeshadow123 · 3 years
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Jealousy (A.M-R)-(C.G)
You are a witch and dating Ally, Cordelia comes to visit you for awhile and some jealousy ensue and Cordelia's old crush on you appears again. Hmm, I dunno where I want to go with this or maybe make it a multi part fic series or a part book but this idea just randomly popped up in my messy head space.
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You let out a frustrated groan, (e/c) snapping open when the black candles blew our for no reason, glaring down at the circle of the black candles, scrunching up your face as the last wisp of their smoke vaporised into nothingness.
"What's wrong?" Ally asked curiously, tearing her brown eyes away from the book she was reading to look at you sitting on the floor a few feet away from the comfy black sofa she's laying on.
You rubbed at your forehead before looking to your girlfriend.
"I'm not sure...Just feeling a little shifting in my powers and I can seem to focus. That only-." You suddenly cut yourself off as you perked up at feeling a familiar warm yet distant presence lurking about.
"What is it?" Ally asks, sitting up completely after she noticed your sudden perking up for no reason.
"No way, that can't be." You tried to reason with yourself but you couldn't for long as the familiar feeling suddenly grew stronger.
"Delia!" You smiled and jumped up, not caring when you knocked over the dead candles and making a run for the front door, a startled Ally left sitting on the couch as she watch you run from the living room.
"What the actual fuck?" Ally asked to herself, dropping her book on the sofa and bolting up as you slammed the door open with a bang.
Your excitement grew when you see that feeling of a familiar powerful yet warm presence infact came from who you thought it would be.
"Delia!?" You exclaimed happily and ran towards the blonde Supreme that is smiling brightly, arms held open in waiting.
"Yes, my little witch. It's me." Cordelia said softly, arms wrapping around you tightly yet comfortably as you finally crashed into her, her excitement to finally see and feel you clear.
You tightened your hold on her waist and buried your hands into her blonde locks as she held you, not wanting to let you go ever again.
"Not that I'm not super glad to see you again but what are you doing here?" You pulled your head from her shoulder to look her in the eyes.
The blonde Supreme shot you a sharing smile as she made eye contact with you, rubbing a hand up your spine, amusement filling her when she felt you shiver against her, a slight pink dusting your cheecks.
"I came to visit you for awhile. I haven't seen you in ages and I've mi-" suddenly the blonde was cut of by a voice.
"(Y/N)? Who is this?" Ally asked tentatively, trying not to focus on the way the blonde is holding you.
You pulled away completely from the blonde and turned to face your girlfriend, one hand flying up to rub at your neck nervously as pink dusted your cheecks more.
"O-Oh, this is Cordelia, my Supreme." You explained.
Ally raised a dark eyebrow at this. "Your Supreme? What is a Supreme excatly?" She questioned, moving towards your side and gripping your arm with her, her free hand interlocking with yours as she glared at blonde witch in front of you, taking notice of the way the witch glared at her too.
"Well, a Supreme is a coven leader. She's my coven leader." You explained, rubbing circles on Ally's soft hand in yours, not taking notice of the way the two are glaring at each other.
Cordelia smiled at you when you looked back at her, her hands crossing over the other, not liking the jealous feeling crawling up on her when Ally have arrived.
"And Cordelia, this is Ally my girlfriend and Ally this is Cordelia." You introduced the two to each other happily.
"Pleasure to meet you." Cordelia forced a smile, hand moving to shake Ally's.
"Hmm, I can say the same. She talks about you a lot and I've once seen you on TV. " Ally spoke, not bothering to shake hands with the witch, her grip on you tightening.
You choose to ignore this before you decide to spoke up. "Wanna come inside for some coffee?"
Cordelia let her hand fall back to her side and gave you another warm smile.
"I would love to darling." She said adoringly, adding the pet name to work on Ally's nerves, a smirk tugging on her lips as pink rise to your cheecks once again.
You pulled away from Ally and made your way back inside with the older two women following close behind you.
As you entered the living room once again you gestured Cordelia to sit down on one of the comfortable back sofas, please the one you've been leaning back against when you were practicing your spells and magic.
Cordelia smiled when she saw the knocked down candles on the floor along with, jewels and some plants.
"I see you're still practicing your magic." She commented, a fond smile tugging at her lips as she looked up at you after sitting down on the sofa.
"Yeah. I would hate it if my powers would flake out when I stop and maybe land in a situation where I'd have to use them and I can't have my powers weak then...not like last time." You muttered the last part mostly to yourself but both the older women heard you and Cordelia gave you a sympathetic smile.
"I'm gonna go make some coffee. I'll be right back." You excused yourself and speedily walked out of the room, willing yourself not to look weak in front of them.
They both watched you leave before Ally turned back to Cordelia.
"What does she mean by that?" The brunette questioned curiously.
Cordelia only raised an eyebrow at the woman. "I'm probably shouldn't tell you that. I feel like she must tell you that herself."
Ally leaned back against the sofa she's sat on and rolled her eyes at the blonde. "Fine, if you say so. Not that she talk too much of her life back at that academy and before that. I'm still curious but she push me away when I try to ask her of her past and how it have changed her."
Cordelia gave her a tight lipped smile, unsure of what to say. She knew all too well what have happened and what you've been through over the past years, including the few years before she found you and Mila and brought you to the academy.
"She'll talk when she feels she wants to, she hates talking of bad things that have happened, and yeah she does push people away when they pressure her too much, and she have changed indeed but she's still herself in a way." The blonde,please woman played with the ruffles in her black skirt before bending forward and pick up one of your black candles.
Ally only watched the witch from the corner of her eye, feeling jealous and somewhat sad that the older blonde seem to know almost everything about you while she only knows a bit. She was even more curious than before, desperate even to find out what you hide behind that hot-cold facade but she also fear to push too much and receive the more cold side than the warm side of your persona.
Cordelia smiled fondly when as she swirled the familiar black candle with silver engraves between her slender fingers, remembering the time she gave them to you as a gift after a particular hard time and you've been obsessed over them and not using them too much.
"How long were she at the academy after you've found her?" Ally questioned.
Cordelia looked back up at the woman, a blank look once again on her face. "Six and a half years. She's was one of the youngest I've taken in at the time back then."
Ally turned her attention to the blonde completely. "Can't you tell me just a little bit more about her past? You seem to know everything about her."
Cordelia could clearly hear the jealousy the other woman is trying to hide, but she could also not deny being a little jealous of your girlfriend, she could almost kich herself for not making a move on you earlier before you left the academy after everything.
"All I'm going to say is she was quite broken and lost and became quite a troubled teen and got into a...whole lot of trouble with Madison most times but I've managed to mostly pull her away from that path." The Supreme gave very little detail and she could tell it irked the brunette but she was not one to spill out your past and secrets without your consent.
Just as Ally went to ask more questions you entered the living room with the coffee, choosing to sit down next to Cordelia as the blonde thanked you warmly as she take the coffee, tingles dancing up your spine as her soft skin brush up against your hand.
Ally frowned at this, the nasty feeling of jealously rearing it's ugly head as she gripped her coffee mug, ignoring the searing burn it caused to her soft skin. She just didn't like the witch all that much near you and she could clearly see the way the blonde is adoringly looking at you and they way her hand had linger a few seconds to long for her comfort on your hand when she took her coffee from you.
"Thank you darling." Cordelia cooed, a smile on her lips as she too a sip of her coffee. "You remembered just the way I like my coffee.
A hint of a blush dusted your cheeks once again at her praise.
"Yeah, how can I ever forget simple things such as that?"
Ally smile a bit when she hear you say that, she knows it's quite true that you always take notice of small details of how people like things a certain way and memorize them as if it's the most natural thing to do.
Cordelia smirked to herself after noticing the faint blush on your cheeks, leaning closer to you and take in a breath of that all too familiar comforting scent of your peaches and cream body wash you loved to use.
You could feel your heartbeat pick up it's rate when she did that, knowing she used to do that back at the academy after you've taken a shower or a bath, claiming that the soft scent brought her some comfort and calm.
Ally glared at the blonde coldly, having taken notice of her not so subtle gesture.
"What spell have you been practicing." The blonde suddenly asked you, gesturing towards the black candles with one had that isn't holding her cup.
You shrugged. "Just a small black magic spell, nothing too big but...my senses and powers completely flaked when I sensed your presence nearby."
Cordelia looked at you curiously. "What do you mean by that? You powers were mostly fine back at the academy even with me around you."
You rubbed at your neck nervously again before looking up at her again, picking up the candle your candle that she have putted on the sofa.
"I'm not sure. Sometimes they've gone a bit weaker and sometimes a bit stronger with you near." You swirled the candle around in your hand, looking down at it.
Cordelia hummed, a look of confusion and curiosity crossing her face.
"Interesting. Why haven't you mentioned that back at the academy?" She questioned, one of her hands moving to lay against your jean cladded leg.
Ally glared at the blondes hand, her knuckles turning white from the grip on her mug, almost certain the mug may crack under the pressure, trying to focus in the conversation you and Cordelia are having and resisting the urge to just tear you away from the other woman.
"I don't know. I just thought it wasn't something serious and ignored it." You explained, eyes back on the radiant blonde next to you.
Cordelia hummed once again.
"Did that only happen when I was near or around others too?" She questioned and you could only wonder why she seems so curious about that.
"No, just when you are near. It's kinda like a magnetic push and pull type of way it felt like." You explained, goosebumps appearing on your skin as she squeezed your leg softly.
"I'll have to ask Myrtle about that, maybe she'll know a thing or two about that. You should come visit the academy and find out what it is. And to also see the others again, they miss you and I miss having you around there to make the days more bearable." Cordelia watched your emotions carefully, knowing how to read you like a open book after mastering it over the years getting to know you.
You looked down for a moment before making eye contact with her again, ignoring the twinkle in her eyes and shrugging it off as the light playing tricks.
"I'll think about. It would be nice to see the others again too and I do miss them a lot too...and you." Yous said the last part so softly Cordelia could barely hear it.
Cordelia felt a spark running through her, almost wanting to engulf you in a hug and never let go again as the two of you shared intense eye contact for a moment until Ally cleared her throat, drawing both your attention to her.
"Sorry." You said sheepishly before getting up from the sofa and walking over to Ally, sitting next to her.
Your girlfriend waste no time in pulling you into her and planting a wet heated kiss against your lips that have you letting out a low moan.
Cordelia could only watch in jealousy, a sense of longing hitting her hard, wishing she was the one kissing you and be able to tear moans from you in this way and also in a whole other dirty way.
After pulling away from the kiss, Ally looked at her smugly as you leaned into the brunette weakly, a whine leaving your mouth, wanting more of her lips but opting to peck a few wet kisses against her soft neck until you remember that Cordelia is here, seeing the whole show and that have you pulling away from your girlfriend with a blush but Ally only held you to her side tightly, kissing the top of your head while making eye contact with the Supreme, the blonde only narrowing her eyes at the woman.
"I must really get going. I just wanted to check up on you." Cordelia said as she got up.
You got up too along with Ally and you walked over to Cordelia and pulled her into a hug.
"Remember to come and visit us and to hear what Myrtle have to say." The blonde said in your ear, a shiver running down your spine as her breath hit your skin.
"I certainly will do so." You said and pulled away from the hug.
Ally took your hand and walked out of this house with you behind Cordelia, watching as you waved bye to the Supreme with your free hand just before she disappeared into thin air.
"Let's go and have some fun baby. I'm so wet for your touch." Ally whispered in your ear, nipping at your neck making you let out a moan.
You eagerly nod your head and pulled her inside of the house.
Once inside Ally slammed the door shut and pushed you up against the wall and proceed to immediately kiss at your neck, one of her legs forcing itself between yours and rubbing against your center, a moan falling from you as bucked your hips forward, trying to get more pressure on your center.
Ally smirked against your neck before sinking her teeth into your soft flesh, immediately drawing a strangled yelp mixed with a moan as she soothed the skin with her tongue.
"Shit Ally." You hissed out, your hands moving to grip her hips after slipping it underneath her grey jumper and digging your nails into her soft skin.
The older woman only chuckled against your skin, a spark of excitment running down her body all the way to her already heated core at the way you are gripping her hips as she left a few more hickeys on your neck before slamming her mouth against yours in a bruising way.
You knew you were in for a wild time at the way she's claiming your lips, her tongue buried in your mouth and battling with yours heatedly, her grip on the back of your neck and hip firm as she rubbed her leg up your clothed center.
End-
I'm not sure why the hell I came up with that idea and I know it's shitty but whatever, spend too much time writing it and I don't want to delete it. And not sure where I want to go with this or if I should continue this part into more parts. I know this part is a whole lot shorter but yeah I write smuty parts longer than non smut. Let me know what you guys think and if I should continue this messy and shitty fic into more.
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buckyownsmylife · 3 years
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v e l o c i t y - chapter ix
The one where John’s your true mate, but he doesn’t want you to be his.
In a universe where fate grants you a new mate whenever you lose yours, John has lived quite comfortably for many years with the knowledge that he was alone after Mary. That all comes crumbling down the second that he meets you. How could the universe choose someone so young to be his omega?
for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.
A/N: Okay so, my bad. One more chapter after this one!
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Y/N’s P.O.V.
I had a hard time sleeping since that night in the laundry room. Well, it was hard to go to bed alone, knowing only one wall separated me from John, knowing the only thing missing for him to claim me was time. He needed time to get over the image of me as a child, accept that I was another person, a woman now - and his mate. And I needed to find some sort of patience to hold onto while he got there.
That didn’t mean I was a saint, though. My desire was still there, even stronger, I dared to say. Now that he had recognized that he truly wanted me, it felt too easy, it felt simple and I just wanted to reach out and have him touch me - really, anywhere.
But I wanted to give him the space he needed to come to terms with this. So I resorted to long nights of touching myself to the thought of him, wondering what he was doing on his bed, if he thought of me when the bunker’s silence grew almost deadly and the sky became darker than a demon’s eye.
And then one night, I heard it.
It was a woman’s moan, coming from the room next door, and instinctively every nerve in my omega body stood in attention, ready to pounce. Who the fuck was with John? Why would he do this? But then his groan reached my ear, sounding much closer, much clearer, and by the time I heard another male’s voice panting, I knew what was happening.
John was watching porn.
The thought thrilled me to no end, even though I couldn’t really explain just why. Maybe it was the fact that he was doing something that intimate, right next to me, not knowing I could hear…
Or maybe he did, and that’s exactly why he was doing it. That had me drenching my panties, quickly getting rid of my clothes before laying back on the bed, a hand between my legs as I tried to listen to his every sound.
Only a few grunts and pants seemed to come from him, the rest mainly from the movie he was watching, but I could distinctly identify the wet, rhythmic slap of his hand meeting his navel along the sounds of the television, and that was the tempo I followed as I started to touch myself.
I got lost in the memories of when it was his fingers inside of me, his scent drowning mine, yet my attention never wavered from the room next door, trying to memorize every little thing about his search for pleasure while I did the same. I just knew it wouldn’t be enough to get me off until his pace quickened, a growl escaping the depths of his chest as he reached his release, and the thought of his cum covering his naked body had me mewling as my cunt clenched around my own digits.
Suddenly, it was all too quiet. All too very quiet. 
“Are you touching yourself, little one?” His voice came closer than I expected it to - not that I expected it at all - and it had me gasping in surprise, imagining him on the other side of the wall against which my bed rested, trying to hear me do the exact same thing he’d been doing seconds before. “Are you touching yourself to the sounds of me getting myself off?”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. How the fuck was I supposed to resist him?
“Are you soaking wet?” The questions just kept coming, prompting my movements to grow quicker, more desperate at the clear desire dripping in his tone. “Because of me?” A simple chuckle shouldn’t sound this hot. “No James here to prepare you this time, huh?”
And that was all it took for me to reach my high, cumming around my fingers with a strangled moan as John’s low laugh resonated from my left. “Atta girl. Bet you’ll sleep real good tonight.” And just when I thought he was done and I could finally breathe again, “I know I will.”
Oh, shit. I was trying to be patient and give him his time, but if he thought I’d let this sort of teasing just go by, he was in for a treat. Better get ready for war, Winchester.
John’s P.O.V.
I knew I was playing with fire, but no one could have prepared me for the special type of hell I was forced to live in during the next few weeks.
It was like she was doing anything she could to make my resolve break. She wanted me to lose control, take her again just like I did that time when I thought another Alpha would try to lay claim on her.
And I had to give it to her - the memories of when she was young were nothing but distant flashbacks I could only remember if I tried to think back on why I was trying to resist her.
Even then, it was like that little girl was someone else entirely, someone I didn’t know anymore - certainly not the young woman who was currently caressing the inside of my thighs and slowly getting closer and closer to my crotch in the middle of this fucking diner.
I took advantage of the fact that Dean had left the table to hit on one of the waitresses and Sam had left to ring someone to finally hold her wrists, stop her quest for control over my dick and my nerves.
“You keep trying to test my patience, you little brat. You wouldn’t like what I’d do if I actually lost it, right here, right now.” Her sharp inhale was music to my ears, a smirk taking over my face as I looked down on her by my side.
But of course, she couldn’t just let it go.
“What would you do, old man?” My chest inflated as I took in her defiance, glancing at the door and Dean to make sure no one would come back soon before turning my body fully towards her, caging her against the wall in the booth.
“I’d put you over my knee, rip those pretty jeans and spank the shit out of you, omega. I’d let everyone watch me bruise your skin, I don’t even care that all these alphas are staring at you. I’d let them see, so maybe they’d know they ain’t got no chance with you.” The sweet smell of her arousal was easy to catch, so I knew she was soaked by now - and my smirk warned her of just how much I was aware of my effect on her body.
A few seconds of silence followed my words, both of us breathing heavily as we stared at each other, trying to hold back. Until she broke the spell, simply by being her.
“God, can you get any kinkier?” I wanted to be mad, I really did, but it was just impossible. My whole body shook under the power of my laughter, and I knew Dean was looking back at us now, just like some of the other patrons.
“Try me,” I provoked, raising my eyebrows at her as I reached for my mug of coffee again. She just kept staring at me, lips pursed in a pout, arms crossed in front of her body, the perfect picture of annoyance.
“You’re hot, but you’re very mean. Did you know that?” I choked on the hot liquid, almost spilling it all over myself, not having expected to be so casually called hot by someone as attractive as her in a million years.
“But you know what?” She pressed on, not giving me any time to recover. “I can be meaner.” That sentence, whispered in my ear as she pressed her body against mine, sent shivers down my spine. “Game’s on, Winchester.”
… What had I gotten myself into?
Y/N’s P.O.V.
The fact that we had managed to get John Winchester to go to a club was mind-blowing and hilarious to me. He looked so out of place - much older than most around, and underdressed in comparison to the guys his age, who were all displaying the same type of clothes as the fuck boys who were so desperately trying to get with anything that moved.
“You have something in your hair,” I commented, using this as an excuse to press my body tightly against his when I reached out to fix his locks, and even though he was quick to push me away, keeping me at a distance, there was a smile on his face.
“You need to stop doing that.” I bit my lip as I looked up at him with the most innocent expression I could muster. It was honestly hard not to laugh.
“Doing what?” John scoffed, letting me go to turn back to his whiskey, but once the liquid was in his lips again, his eyes traveled up and down my body, almost undressing me.
“You like my dress?” I asked, twirling so he could get the full view, even though I already knew how he felt about it. There was an entire discussion about the piece of clothing before we managed to leave the bunker, and I still believed it was the entire reason why he decided to tag along to my night out with the boys.
“I think we’ve established this is barely even a dress, little girl.” Giggling, I stepped closer to him again, using the excuse some drunk dude gave me when he lost his balance and wobbled in my direction, my hand falling precisely over John’s crotch as I pressed our bodies together once more.
“You know there’s other people around us, right?” He whispered right by my ear, raising goosebumps all over my skin when the hand that wasn’t holding his drink settled over my ass. “This little skirt of yours is giving me all types of thoughts…”
I was just about to ask him to elaborate on that when his head suddenly snapped up, meeting my eyes instead of looking at my breasts. “Why on Earth aren’t you wearing any underwear?”
I giggled when I understood that he could feel the absence of other fabrics underneath the thin material of my dress since he was now rubbing and squeezing my butt. I was suddenly shy, more because I didn’t expect him to call me out on it than anything else, so I buried my face in his chest as he kept teasing me, “Do you have something against it? Is that it? Are you allergic to panties?”
He swayed us somewhat to the beat of the song that had taken everyone to the dance floor, and I just relished in his embrace before finally coming up with something to say. “You liked it so much the last time…” I reminded him, not expecting what he’d counter.
“Last time was a mistake.” Immediately, I pushed away from him, meeting his eyes in shock and hurt as his words pained me in a way I never expected him to do - not again. His eyebrows were furrowed as he stared back at me, obviously confused by my sudden reaction until he understood what he had said.
“No, no,” he called out, easily pulling me close again despite me trying to escape. I hated that I cherished that night so badly, desired him so ardently ever since, just for him to go ahead and write it off as a mistake.
“That’s not what I meant, ‘mega,” he tried to calm me down, nose rubbing over my scent gland in an effort to lower my heartbeat and suppress my anger. It worked perfectly, as much as I didn’t want it to.
“I just mean, I didn’t want the first time I touch you to be because of anger and jealousy.” His explanation drained all irritation from my body, leaving me slumping against his hard chest.
“I didn’t want it to happen like that,” he continued. “You deserved more than that.” My heartbeat was pounding to the rhythm of the music, not quite believing this turn of events.
“I mean… I didn’t even kiss you, for fuck’s sake.” The sound of his despair against his own actions had me mewling against him, absentmindedly rutting my ass against his crotch, not even realizing I was doing it until his fingers pressed tightly on my hips - not stopping me, just… holding me there.
“I want- I want our first time to be meaningful.” And that, right then, stole my breath away. Because I understood the implicit message. I understood that this was him, saying he was ready. “Hopefully, in a bed,” he continued, and I smiled to myself at his sweet plans for us.
“But if you keep teasing me so much, I’ll bury my fingers inside of you right here, I swear.” This last part was uttered against the shell of my ear, making me go perfectly still, at last stopping my movements against the bulge that had become more than evident in his old jeans.
“And Lord knows where that would take us,” he commented, hands holding me just under the curve of my breasts, making me shiver as he nuzzled against my neck from behind. “By now, you know how easily I can get carried away.”
And I did. Just the memory of it made me shiver, but maybe it was the man behind me, whose hands were now openly exploring my body as if we weren’t surrounded by people in a smelly club.
“Yeah, I know…” I panted, body sensuously moving against his without even intending to, just needing to feel the weight of his hands all over me, forever. “You’ve done it before.”
And that was the last thing I spoke for the next few hours because right then John turned me in his arms and took my lips on his, devouring me in the dark corner of the dance floor, while the rest of the club danced without a care in the world, not taking notice on two mates finally giving in to one another.
The only thing that mattered right then was him and I.
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Merlin Fic Rec - Hurt/Comfort
Some fics with a bit of angst and a healthy dose of protectiveness/comfort.
Please read the tags/archive warnings on these! 
It's Dangerous Business, Walking out Your Door by accordingtomel (17k)
In many ways, Arthur was the only thing keeping his sanity intact, while simultaneously being one of the main sources for his inner turmoil. Which was why he needed to get away. He needed some perspective, some time to sort things out and get himself together again. It was only a matter of time before Arthur finally broke him.
When Enough Is Enough by snickersnack (10k)
After having a really bad day, Merlin uses his magic in front of Arthur.
The Truth in Your Broken Hands by fuzzytomato (1.2k)
written for lolafeist based on her prompt of Post S3, Arthur notices the blisters on Merlin's hands. (From fighting with Excalibur.) h/c
As True As The Sea Is by fiercynn (3.7k)
Caves, Arthur thought sourly, half-holding Merlin up as they ran, were never a good idea.
Touch My Skin to Keep Me Whole by Skitz_phenom (64k)
The Kingdom of Essetir has once again fallen under new rule, and Arthur travels to visit its new king, determined to make peace. Unfortunately peace is the furthest thing from this new king’s mind. Arthur and Merlin are forced to navigate his every attempt to make Arthur a scapegoat in starting a war between Camelot and Essetir. The new king is treacherous though, and he may have just found the one weakness that will force Arthur’s hand. Note: AU Post Season 4
Wounds by Heavenly_Bodies (3.9k)
It was an act of instinct, nothing mattered beyond the breath of the man in his arms.
Just... Don't be a Prat by accordingtomel (11k)
But when he saw a young, blond boy enter with his breakfast tray that was most definitely not his manservant, Arthur felt himself go from calm to irate in a few second flat. Consequently, the first words out of his mouth were: “Where’s Merlin?” And they were perhaps a little harsher than he would have liked.
Within Sight by rubberbutton (9.8k)
When a curse blinds Arthur, his position as heir is threatened.
Complement (Two Halves of a Whole) by greymantledlady (7.4k)
Merlin dashes fiercely at the tears that have started to trickle down his face, and waits. Because if Arthur wants to take him back to Camelot as a prisoner, to a cold cell and death in the grey morning – if that is what Arthur wants, Merlin will let him, because he can’t deny Arthur anything.
And Arthur takes Merlin’s shoulders in a hard, almost bruising grip, and he’s breathing hard, and Merlin’s crying messily, because he just can’t seem to stop and he’s more scared than he’s ever been in his life.
Promises to Keep by i_claudia (1.2k)
The world is fuzzy, distant; Merlin can’t remember why but he’s pretty sure he wants it to stay that way.
The Baring Of One's Heart by Chechilia (12k)
Attacked during a hunting trip, Arthur and Merlin wake up shackled to the walls of a cave. Dire, the situation only worsens when they realize their captor is none other than Arthur's sister, rendered mad by her magic and her thirst for revenge.
And when Morgana uses the powers of the cave to place Arthur under a truth spell, it is more than his heart that she threatens to lay bare.
I Will Never Leave You by CaesarWasntEmperor (3.1k)
Arthur wakes up and finds that the veil has disappeared, leaving a devastated Merlin behind. He offers the best support he can, while dealing with his own feelings.
Winning A Battle by OhFantasyWorld (12k)
“Arthur,” he said softly. ”There’s something wrong, isn’t there?”
Arthur nodded slowly, still not looking at him.
Merlin stepped closer to him.
“Will you tell me? I’ve been worried,” he said earnestly. “I promise not to tell anyone.”
Arthur bit his lip. Then he closed his eyes. “No.”
Somebody to Lean On by samyazaz (6.3k)
Merlin may be the worst manservant ever, but when he breaks his arm and Arthur has to care for him, he quickly discovers that he's kind of terrible at it, too.
Nothing Will Harm You Here by WritingIsReality (4.1k)
Merlin saves Arthur's life using magic. Morbidly ill, and suffering delusions of grandeur, he is convinced that Arthur will see him executed. He expects to be sentenced to death, not nursed to health and protected by the King of Camelot. Confessions and revelations ensue.
Slip-Ups by driftingskies237 (3k)
Merlin's having a terrible week that results in him accidentally cutting his hand with Arthur's stupid sword. Cue a worried and guilty Arthur who refuses to leave Merlin's side despite his kingly duties he has to attend to.
you fill my lungs with sweetness (and you fill my head with you) by FutureAlien (1.4k)
For once, Arthur didn’t mind leaning on another. He just revelled in the closeness of his servant, his friend, this man who had taught him the meaning of love. Arthur held onto Merlin, feeling as if he’d finally come home.
+
Arthur is crumbling under the weight of his new responsibilities as king. Merlin takes care of him.
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Hello! For HK ask meme: Cornifer, The Hunter, White Lady, Nightmare King, Godseeker
Hello, hello! Your art is neat!! :D Thanks for the ask! 
Cornifer: Favorite area in Hallownest?
Funny enough, The Queen’s station. The place struck a cord with me, both because I didn’t expect such place there and stepping in it in silence that was then taken over by distant noises of what it was like when it was busy, as stations are... I think I just stood or walked around it for longer than necessary. 
Then, City of Tears has so much to offer and maybe most lore oriented? Lots of tidbits~ I am always so curious about how the life was before the fall of the kingdom, the city (and the crossroads) really offer some idea~ I love mantis village too and Shaman sub areas~ (Am I a sucker for tribal stuff? PERHAPS)
The Hunter: Favorite/least favorite enemy you encounter? What is your favorite journal entry?
Least favorite are primal aspids, I don’t think I have to explain why XD Also those large, charging flukes, I forgot how they’re called :T OH AND FLYING PETRA MANTIS, with their mechanic breaking flying scythes fffff they made my garden exploring a living hell
Favorites hmm... I know Nosk is a boss but I kind of find his enemy design and mechanic as my favorite, got weak spots for mimics (even if they mess me up every time because I’m naive haha...).
Honestly, how Hunter describes Ooma and Uoma are funny to me, I can just imagine him being confused XDD I also like his opinions of rich dead bugs from the city
White Lady: Do you have any theories about the Higher Beings in Hallownest?
OH BOY DO I~!! *clears throat and sits down, taking out notes*
Metamorphosis plays a big part in their abilities and power and depending on how much they cycled in their seemingly (but not really) endless lifetime depends how much they change/molted with each new form. I like to think every time a new form comes along they get more powerful and closer to god beings BUT with that also MORE FRAGILE, decreasing their life span. So the molting/changing part is only a necessity, at least for bug like beings like the White Lady or Pale King (but also like to think Radiance went through similar very early and that Nightmare King keeps doing that but with a repeating cycle of his dance).
As for none bug beings like Unn, while they don’t have these cycles, they veeery slowly and gradually grow in power and get closer to god like beings. I guess I should also mention that, thanks to Pantheon, I believe even regular bugs/beings can become gods IF they manage to figure out how to get that powerful and climb the Higher Being ranks. If they can get as strong as some bosses in Hallownest alone (*glances at Silksong*) by means of spells, souls, nail art etc, why not have for any bug having a chance to become as powerful. It’s just... risky, deadly and takes a lot of time :’D being birthed as a higher being such as (what I believe) Hornet and the vessels are is probably easier *pats Ghost as Lord of Shades on the head*
Aside from that, I don’t think they’re immortal or anything. Powerful, through kin or experience, yes, but not immortal (RIP Radiance).
I think that’s all for now!
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Nightmare King Grimm: Which boss battle was the most intense for you? The most satisfying to defeat?
RADIANCE ;n;
RADIANCE >:}c
Godseeker: How far have you made it in Godhome?
....... *cricket noises, muffled cough*
U-uh... I checked out the place... hmm.... fought some awakened bosses... uh.... I failed the first binding.... mmhm. that’s it. I nopped out of there and said “that’s a second playthrough me problem~” HDSJHFDKSGHFJ
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blankdblank · 5 years
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Morning Star
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All –
@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @here2have-fun, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @imjusthereforthereads, @c-s-stars
Hobbit/LotR – @abiwim, @jotink78
X Thranduil - @evyiione, @sweetlytenacious25, @tigereyesf
Tindómiel, a name long since used, for searching for any sign of the only child of King Elros of Numenor need only turn their eyes to the wild of the world. Only there would you find yet another wanderer clinging to ages of woe and solitude in hopes of being spared another loss.
Manwendil, Atanalcar, and the short reigning King Vardamir, all your brothers and with their aging and your father’s passing you turned your eyes to the distant sea only feeling the great pain in the knowledge that after your mother you had chosen to not take your father and brothers’ path. Your nephew Tar-Amandil was crowned at King Vardamir’s passing and you were free from any obligations to the throne at his siblings taking up rule.
By the early sunrise after burying your youngest brother a quiet voice echoed in your heart while you paddled the makeshift raft you had formed to leave the cursed island. Since its birth you had lived there and yet you could already feel it dying as the looming wrath of the Valar was creeping nearer with each generation arriving and your recurring dream of its destruction would not stop haunting you. Always with a voice urging you to flee.
Harder and harder you paddled until a group of shouts sounded after you. A tearful turn of your head brought a band of faithful Elven servants, who had all remained behind to care for you in your mother’s choice to sail West. Panting steadily you waited for them to reach you on their barrels they had taken they strapped around your raft and then joined you in paddling to the distant shore. No longer clinging to your title you and the faithful six servants headed off to the distant peaks to find a home of your own. Here and there you made something more suitable for living only to feel the death of your father’s created home off in the distance. Your new home was then dubbed Osgiliath, the Citadel of the Host Stars, and taken from you.
All in your honor they claimed. Young Isildur arrived first and found himself drawn to the fields around your hidden home, your voice lulling him nearer, the stars in his words seemed to dance to your song of half hearted hope for your surviving kin. A shift of a stone under his boot caused him to stop when your singing halted, and just as Beren was bewitched by Luthien and her dark shadowing curls with stars said to be trapped in them he swore at once to remain faithful to you with sweet words and stars reflected in his eyes from the silver specks in yours. Their bewitching purple shade supposedly stole his heart demanding his unending fealty. However, with a crown on his head and a more beneficial offer of land your assumed spell seemed to wither away, but just as the Men rejoiced the last child of their first King dwelt among them you were gone again.
The Men did as they willed and you fought to remain indifferent as the next swirl of dreams came about. More and more your Men ventured off into the wilds in hopes of discovering the likeness of Luthien for themselves, not to claim, but to declare their fealty. Those successful bore proud stances and inconspicuous four point stars stitched on their elbows marking that they had seen the stars in the Wild Princess’ eyes. Not long in your endless days since your last stolen home you sat atop a half wall bordering a dock on the edge of Esgaroth a thunderous set of hooves skidded to a halt and a tall blonde dismounted and bowed his head to you under your long dark brown coat and hood pulled low.
In thick Rohirric he stated, “My apologies Strider. Queen Linea requests your aid.” A tilt of your head brought your distinct eyes over the mask coating the lower half of your face into view and you hopped down from the half wall collecting your pack with bow and quiver strapped to it you shouldered then accepted his hand up onto the horse behind him. Loosely you rested your hand around his side you watched the figure of the nearing barge arriving through the fog in your path towards Southern Greenwood.
Not long after the powerful steed continued racing onwards past the path of King Thranduil and his son, both on tall Elks watching as the horse crossed their intended path. Their eyes lingering on the rider from Rohan and then on you behind him, the hooded familiar figure earning respectful nods from the pair you returned while Former Queen Mother Taule wondered at the vastly smaller figure you held behind the rider.
A reach up brought your hood lower over your face and out to the edge of the forest you rode then came to a halt outside the exiting gates signaling your leg to swing down freeing you to land beside the horse and approach the line of carriages ahead. There you spotted the Queen of Gondor, as per tradition would deliver the firstborn son to Rivendell to be raised by Lord Elrond. Atop the spare horse they brought with them you escorted young Prince Arador off to the safety of the Elven realm you waited on the edges of while the Rangers, having heard your distant signals, flanked the carriages guiding them on to safety. After this you would always feel eyes on you from inside the woods, Elves always wondering why you never entered, why your hood was weighted to keep it from flying up, off again to Weathertop you would race.
Past the reclaimed Moria, now filled with your most loyal Elven followers treasuring the sealed keep you had led the cleansing of, protecting them with your absence. Again you would find the hidden door to the old lookout and ease into the fortress turned vacation home you claimed when you needed a place to unwind letting the horse follow the path to the Shire. A land where a great steed could always be useful for aid in tilling and find great ease in their days safe from the wars of Men under the watchful eyes of your Rangers.
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A flicker of a flame visible in Weathertop brought a wandering Wizard to the other side of that same hidden door. Speaking in old Numenorian, “All the ages of the world will turn and turn again, my greatest hope is only to be amongst my friend again.”
The hidden door opened and you leaned in the doorway replying, “For the last time, there is no need for a made up incantation to summon me.”
Gandalf let out a soft chuckle and entered when you stepped back again showing him inside the warm keep where his eyes fell upon the softly glowing Elven toddler asleep in the basket by your armchair, “I was not aware of your child.”
Your eyes locked on his, “It is no secret the Queens of Gondor have entrusted their sons to my kin for centuries.”
“Ara-,”
“Estel.” His lips parted and you continued, “Gilraen asked when scouts discovered orcs in the paths to Rivendell ahead for me to protect him. I could not find a weakness in the waves camped around that keep.”
“It is rumored the infant was killed.” His head tilted noting the point on his ears curiously remembering seeing his rounded ears at his birth still glowing at the fresh link between the pair of you changing his fate by the grace of the Valar.
“Good.” You poured you both a cup of tea from the whistling kettle, “Then they won’t be looking for him.” He accepted the cup you passed him and caught your eyes when you asked, “How bad is this one?”
“Hmm?”
“The last time you asked me on a mission half of the Easterling’s territories ended up in flames and I spent three days waiting for that message of yours on just what I was supposed to find in their city to begin with.”
“That-, was a regrettable hindrance.” His eyes twinkled at you hopefully as you sipped on your tea. “The reason I came…”
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Outside the Shire the early leaving Dwarves halted with hands latched onto their weapons seeing the line of Rangers blocking the path. In the distance Bilbo’s shouts were heard and with a grin he halted behind the others passing his contract to Balin. In the front of the line Thorin’s eyes held still on you with a firm scowl that only flinched when you spoke, “Mithrandir, you know as well as any no Hobbit leaves their lands without our escort.”
Thorin, “We do not require your aid.”
Bilbo’s lips parted, “I beg your pardon-.”
“Then you will not receive it. Master Baggins, however, will have our utmost fealty, as is due for all his kin.” Your line split and a line of ponies were revealed, pre saddled for the Dwarves and Bilbo’s sake.
Thorin, “Do not expect reimbursement.”
You let out a wry chuckle as your second in command says while the ponies walked over for the Dwarves to load up their belongings, “Not the best source of employment for financial gains. Though we all knew what we were signing up for. We serve our King, Strider. No more, no less. Do not worry yourselves about our barren purses, we have little use for them.”
Quietly against their issues with your joining them thy were content at least to be spared the task of bartering for ponies and had a great addition of arms to assist on guard. At lunch break a muffled whine brought their eyes to you. Your hood was drawn back and instantly they saw red at the tips of your ears only to calm when the last of the buttons on your outer jacket were undone revealing the armored lining to your coat widening your figure as well as acting as a shield for the toddler in the sling across your chest.
From his long nap he stirred with a big yawn all but melting the Dwarves’ hearts, and as they went to ask the others why they would allow you to bring a child three more of the Rangers, now revealed as female, also bore their babies in slings under their plated jackets. For their hopes of your being the infamous Strider all that died when Bilbo moved closer grinning at little Estel on his toes asking, “Soon enough he’ll be on a pony of his own Miss Pear.”
Weakly you chuckled removing your mask leaving it to hang around your neck replying, “Hopefully not too soon Master Baggins.” In the turn of your head you caught the young Princes whispering about you while Balin, Gloin and Bombur’s eyes were fixed on Estel misty from missing their own Pebbles both grown and still swaddled.
Tucked safely in the Troll Hoard the mothers and their children along with Estel in the arms of Elanor, one of your most loyal servants, awaited word of the path to be cleared. Since your leaving the Shire it seemed an extra masked face or two joined your ranks and soon enough at this outer edge of Rivendell 50 were tailing you alongside the Dwarves. Once again orcs seemed to be swarming around the enchanted kingdom since the Steward had taken control of Gondor it seemed orcs were growing bolder and bolder crossing into wider territories.
Thundering across the plain you led the charge only to stir confident smirks onto the faces of the Elves in the distance seeing the reinforcements they hadn’t expected. By hours end you were on your feet with each of the curious Elves closing in towards the one they all had known to be the mysterious Strider. All noting a striking pattern in a long since used series of moves shared with your fellow Numenoreans fighting with you from pre-destruction days. Two blocks with your mithril blades resting along your forearms followed by a swivel of your second blade to slice apart your foes. Each time in differing directions and always a deadly blow. Though your skill only distracted so long until a certain Elf Lord recognized your blades.
“Tindómiel…” In the distance Elrond muttered your name seeing your backwards lean to dodge the mace of a tall orc causing your hood to fall back revealing the noteworthy eyes that gave you away in your lunge to drive your blade through the orc’s heart. Jerking it back you swiveled your blades returning to your defensive moves to grant a winded Ranger beside you a few moments to gather his breath before guiding him on taking out the remainder around you.
By battle’s end you turned your head and were face to face with your father’s twin, bowing your head you stated, “My Lord.”
Timidly his hand rose up and he eased a latch open on the side of your mask loosening it to droop fully revealing your face, exactly the same since you had last seen him centuries ago at that final funeral. “Tindómiel, It has been-..”
“Miss Pear.” Your head turned to Thorin who asked, “Do they intend to hinder us?”
In a glance from you to the Dwarf King Elrond forced a hint of a smile and said, “Prince Thorin, any ally of Miss Pear’s is welcome in Rivendell.” A brunette Elf turned to guide the Dwarves, Bilbo and Gandalf off while you turned away only to halt at the firm hand fixed around your wrist. Lowly he pled, “Please-…”
Locking your eyes on his you stated, “My son and carrying Rangers are in a troll hoard not far from here.”
He nodded turning to walk with you, “We will escort you there and back again. It has been some time since you have been home.”
In a wavering tone you whispered, “I did as I was told. To flee.”
“Told-, you had a vision warning you to flee?”
A glance at him freed you to nod seeing the relief in his eyes, “I could feel the shadows looming, I tried to ignore it, but it kept growing louder. I could not linger there.”
“I imagine that was a heavy weight to bear alone.”
With a wry chuckle you guided him into the cave after a signaling click of your tongue in a warning signal of your identity. An easy grin slid onto your face as you chuckled reaching out for Estel in his warning pout, ready to cry for being away from you for so long. A gentle peck on his cheek and a brush of his curls behind his pointed ear revealed the Ring of Barahir, said to have been delivered to Strider, now King of Gondor as being the last rumored to be descended from the great line of Kings placed him as the best regent while the heir Aragorn was to grow. A now defunct idea leaving the throne in limbo and the Steward in power until Strider could be uncovered to learn if they would put aside the Ranger and become King.
Looking the child over and seeing similarities to another woman he asked you lowly in a step closer, “Just where might his father be?”
“In his tomb.”
“And-,”
Stepping closer to him you softly cut him off, “Scouts alerted of an ambush. I was passed a bundle for safe keeping. His name is Estel.”
Elrond’s eyes warmed reaching out a gloved hand mumbling to himself after kissing the top of the boy’s head, “You are safe little one.”
Raising him higher in your arms you caught his reaction spreading through his soldiers while they caught onto just who the child was. Easing the great loss they felt at failing the great line of Kings. Now grateful to know the youngest and oldest heirs to King Elros were to dwell in their Kingdom.
Holding to your hidden identities you were welcomed, scrubbed, redressed and fed thoroughly. The effects of which granted you a fresh pack of Elven traveling clothes at your reluctance to accept the fine gowns they had offered you as you were leaving soon. Though much to the awe of the Dwarves your star filled shadowy curls hung behind you freely to your knees revealing the great number of years it must have taken to gain such length to your thick resilient locks they all ached to reach out and touch as easily as Estel could. All hoping to see just what precious gems it resembled up close as the distance played tricks on their eyes adding hidden shades and flecks of color into each curl.
The awe of your presence there, along with the boy clinging to you so tightly in his sleep and waking moments you felt most eyes on you wherever you went. Between bouts of family sharing of tales over what you had missed since the last time you’d seen your Uncle, meeting his twin sons who you’d never met you before, you were content to trying to find time alone until you led the path out of the Kingdom reminding you only of who you’d lost. Thankfully at your request they continued to refer to you as Lady Pear to aid you in avoiding explaining the painful truth to these men you no doubt would be expected to abandon once they had won their goal.
Though at Elrond’s insistence to gain stability in the dimming lands your distant kin filled word had been spread of your safety and of your son, word which placed you solely on the throne at your own right with an heir to follow suit if needed. Distant cries and cheers went unheard to you while celebrations unfolded and the artists of the great White Citadel brought out your long since put away portrait to dust off and hang up in the Hall of Kings granting any with free time to visit a clear view of their new ruler. Painters with free time took to sharing the image with others by copying its likeness for display in the lower levels. All boasted to be poor likenesses of your beauty and bewitching gaze with the few Rangers bearing stars on their elbows to cheerfully fill in the details they had missed of your likeness and character with the paint, charcoal and easel.
A long enough stay had been accepted granting healing time to Dwalin’s shoulder from the trolls injuring him while taking one down. Off you rode to the edge of the forest, twice you faced harm needing to rescue the wandering Dwarves from danger.
One granting you a cursed ring and the other finding the now unconscious disguised Dwarves tied across the backs of your steeds leaving the Elven guard peering on at your great number of bundles for a single Hobbit’s possessions. Not an uncommon sight, the transfer of the kind little folk from one protected land to the next. No reason to interrupt them. Always Rangers passed through unhindered and were always welcomed whenever they approached the front gates as distant kin to Lord Elrond. Each time to be inspected and asked just how well they knew the fabled Strider whom they all knelt to a Ranger they hoped to meet one day.
Nearing the outskirts of the forest you caught sight of an alerting blue jay from a fellow band of Rangers. Thousands of orc were on their way to join the hundreds already camped outside Erebor hoping to work their way into the mountain to steal it from the great beast inside.
Elven lineage aside the Company had an army, albeit a small one, it gave them the great hope that with you they could pull this off far easier than if they had alone. With a turn of your head you eyed Elanor securing her jacket and nodding her head while you ordered her and the other mothers off to the Elf King’s gates with Bilbo along with them after Thorin had given his blessing to protect his Burglar from battle. All unknowingly joining the survivors from Laketown in the orc’s first attack destroying a majority of their city forcing them to fight back and flee with who and what they could.
Swinging your leg over your saddle you drew your swords freeing your horses to group together deeper in the woods at your charge out of the woods on foot into the sea of orcs. A signal from the other hidden Rangers eased the decision and time to obliterate the outer ranks before they could form up ranks. But by then a sea of arrows came down upon them from the racing Elves coming to your defense once your group had made it safely into the gates alerting the King Strider was waging war on the Elf King’s doorstep. For centuries he’d heard of this Strider, and now he would steal a moment to greet you properly
In your efforts you noticed the hoards climbing the mountain ridges stirring the beast from within. A deafening roar sounded and flames erupted from the overlook soon coating the mountain and heading out into the sea of orcs you had yet to reach. A soaring path overhead however came to a painful end as in a definitive dwindling last flaming blow to the orcs you took a running leap off the back of a freshly killed troll. Hard you landed feet first on Smaug’s cheek and drove a spear into his eye deep into his skull sending him and you into a straight path to the ground. Fleeing the path Elves and Dwarves alike huddled out of reach from the body crashing to the ground as you raced across it to dive into the frozen lake.
A set of hands planted on the lake’s edge and your drenched form rising unbothered by the frigid waters stirred the orc to flee only spreading the smirks on your Rangers’ faces while the Elves forced themselves to focus from your now partially revealed face back to the concluding battle ahead of them. One after another the orcs fell in your charge until the path was cleared to the open gates of Erebor.
In their worried glance back at you the Dwarves eased at your forces filling the ruined city of Dale. If there was any structure sturdy for housing it was fortified as the Elves returned to their forest, assuring your group would be well cared for. The notion of having children with them again easing the weight of the extra mouths to feed, alongside the added defense for the still onward marching orc forces on their way. By nightfall Bilbo had been fed and escorted into Erebor, where he discovered the stone and was all too painfully puzzled at why you had not been allowed inside the sealed mountain.
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Dragons fall and horns blow, with the mountain won you took your place in Dale leaving the mountain to the Dwarves after catching their quizzical gazes at your Men at the dying breath of Smaug. No contracts were signed guaranteeing you a single coin, not that you wanted a portion anyways and Dwarven boots crossed the great distance in time to fend off a second wave of orcs. Out of your robes, cloaks and masks you all seemed to be regular Men from Laketown somehow already tasked themselves to clearing up the ruined city. All wondering at which of the Men were the fabled Strider.
In the midst of the hoard of returned Men of Laketown you slipped easily enough unseen by most. Tasked to several small jobs throughout the city and for the distaste of the few Dwarves holding claim over the rebuild you among all the others were reminded that it was the Dwarves who held claim to the city. Your largest task was aiding in the re-tilling of the farming land and healing the orchards just barely hanging on in the early chill at the first signs of winter. To the shock of the Dwarves a timid alliance was formed, mainly on the statement that Thranduil would be aiding King Strider in the rebuild. A common middle ground had been formed, that the Elves would assist in bringing about the first harvest and only then would the King’s gems be returned and a full deal could be found after.
In their deal a hidden agenda was present, each Elf looking and searching the crowds for any sign of those magnificent eyes once again, with only the Rangers bearing their masks still. Though it didn’t take long with the King’s own son locating you in the crowd and managing to sneak over to you to whisper in passing your son was safe. A passing flash of your eyes over your partially masked face locked on his and he found himself stunned for a moment then shook his head and kept on moving. The Ranger with the longest dark hair coated in dirt and dust to dim its effect was soon the common calling card for those bearing daily notes and updates on your son and carrying Rangers, all of whom would always give subtle hints to the Elf King in his passes through on just where you were.
For your secrecy to remain intact he would speak to your second in command, the one always taken for as the King, always pondering just how he could find some time alone with you. Just shy of two weeks and you felt your every inch burning and tearing under the weight of the doubts and slanderous whispers from the ring hidden under your shirt while more and more Dwarves arrived by the day. Your only hope that once this next wave of orc would come soon so you could simply find the end to this seemingly endless battle ahead keeping you from destroying it. Each day passing and visit from the stunning Elf King seemed to only worsen matters. For centuries since your first brief passing glimpse of him you couldn’t help but see his face passing through your dreams, each time leaving you hungry for more.
In the passing paths of the Dwarves you caught wind of the dinner for Dwarf Lords to celebrate the reclaiming of the stronghold, a dinner you were not invited to and at the absence of all the Company from your life since winning the lands back you were certain you were not wanted there. And yet at the lingering of yet another Dwarf who had caught sight of the patch of curls free of any dust and dirt drawing him after you in a daze wishing to gain your favor to see if your eyes were just as enchanting. Steadily you moved from one job to the next, this one where you would be aiding in the transfer of the records in the rubble of one building into the waiting wagon to be taken with the reformed library.
Around the corner a familiar face arrived, Bofur in all his polished glory in his flashy robes and new seal around his necklace on a golden chain. A jaunty tune being whistled by him in his path until he halted in your next pass to the wagon. Just the sight of him was enough to make you want to cry at the flurry of thoughts the ring was sending through your mind. Bouncing on his toes Bofur halted beside you with arms crossed behind his back, “Miss Pear, I am just tickled to have found you so easily.”
You halted peering down at him after adding your crate to the wagon now being sealed up and driven off for unloading, “What could have brought you out here?”
In the distance a scowling Dwarf tasked with supervising your sector huffed and glared at you in his storming path over to what he took as a disrespectful Man, Bofur gave you a playful grin, “I only came to see if you were alright. Your little one as well. We had a dinner to celebrate the Journey’s success last night and we’d hoped to have seen you there.”
Flatly you replied, “I wasn’t invited, besides, I highly doubt any of the Dwarf Lords would enjoy my presence there. These are the finest layers I have.” You spotted the approach of the Dwarf and added, “Estel is safe in Greenwood. This fortress is no place for him and there is still an army nearing us.”
Bofur’s lips parted in shock at your answer only for him to clamp them shut when the supervisor shouted out, “You there! You get back to work and bid the Lord a proper address in your parting.”
Bowing your head deeply you flatly stated, “My apologies my Lord.” Stepping back a step before you turned to head back to the rubble while Bofur eyed your tattered and dust coated layers hearing the supervisor growl out, “My apologies My Lord, these Men have no respect for those they owe their allegiance to. It is our King allowing their kind to remain here and repair the city.” Bowing his head he uttered the proper farewell and Bofur turned with tears looming in his eyes on his hurried path back to the mountain. Though on his path he joined up with the Princes, who earlier had spotted you in the ramshackle market run by the Dwarves in charge of what little there was to offer. Doubt flooded their eyes while they watched you empty your coin purse of the whole two silver coins you had left over from your wages after rent that were passed to another Ranger so they could afford the ridiculously overpriced potatoes they required.
In the filling of another crate you missed Tauriel in her lingering at the edge of another building. Once again she had passed a note off from the King on progress from Estel and at the continued notice of you withheld pain she wished to see if she could uncover more behind he reason why. A missed dinner, the company neglecting to invite you and now the clear lack of reimbursement at all, though your final statement on your being clothed in your finest puzzled her. No doubt they would be tolerable for the company of the Dwarves you had traveled so far with, and yet the sting made sense on her ride back to the forest. A King forced into hiding, treated no better than a lowly slave, paid no better either with little to spare over the rent.
Bofur, “She claims she was never invited.”
Thorin’s head turned with a shocked expression while Bilbo muttered in Hobbitish about his not being surprised, “I expressly invited the Company.”
At the end of the table one of the Dwarf Lords overseeing the rebuild stated, “There were none of those Rangers listed in the official contract we have recorded as your allied forces in the act.”
His brows tightened as he fired back, “Lady Pear killed Smaug, gained us passage through Elven lands!”
The Dwarf Lord replied, “Yes, however she was not among you, neither were her Men when the stone was found.” In seeing Thorin would be locked in a battle of splitting hairs he simply growled and turned away leading Bofur and the boys to a private study nearby.
“I will see to it she is invited to the next dinner myself.” His eyes scanned over the boys and their doubtful gazes dropping to the floor, “What?”
Kili, “If she survives that long.”
Thorin raised a brow and Fili added, “We’ve seen those markets Uncle. The Tunnsgr brothers in charge of it are charging the Rangers double, even more than the few Elves that barter there, only giving fair deals to the Men of Laketown.”
Thorin, “That can’t be. I set those prices myself.”
Kili shrugged, “Either way we’ve been monitoring it.” Passing a notepad to their Uncle.
Fili, “Besides, even if they were charging your prices after the rent they’re being taxed from their wages they’ve only ten silver pieces to last half a month.”
Thorin’s eyes darkened in anger while clenching his jaw as Kili blurted out, “No wonder they’ve asked the Elf King to keep watch over their bairns. Elves wouldn’t dare let them starve.”
Thorin drew in a ragged breath and growled back, “I will fix this.”
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Deep in the winding Elven halls Tauriel found the side of her King and bowed her head, “My King, forgive my bluntness but I doubt a dinner among Nobles would be the best suggestion.” His eyes landed on her, “I overheard your list of possible reasons for an invitation to Lady Pear.”
With a sigh he asked, “And why would you assume that?”
“The Dwarves had a dinner last night,”
“I am aware. I was not invited.”
“Neither was she.” He turned fully with lips parted, “One of the Company approached her today asking her why she did not attend, lack of invitation for one, the other she doubted her appearance would be suitable.” Thranduil raised a brow, “She mentioned what she wore to work was her finest, though Lord Elrond had mentioned gifting her Elven layers, which could possibly not be suitable for mainly being Elven.”
Thranduil groaned, “I cannot invite her to state dinners for fear of blowing her cover, I cannot issue a personal invitation to a courtship for lack of a proper introduction while I cannot request permission from Elrond to do so without first introducing myself to her!” In a growl he grabbed the cushion on his chair he hurled at the far wall then turned back to Tauriel as she cleared her throat.
Wetting her lips she suggested faintly, “Perhaps something a bit, broader.” He shifted to face her fully, “You could host an archery test, also using that as a welcoming of the relatives of the little ones to visit them. I heard the Dwarves are closing the work down day after next for a holiday of theirs. We could, conveniently separate her from the group.”
Thranduil nodded, “That might work. Something simple. I would greet all the Rangers if I have to.” Turning to his desk he began planning the event he hoped to have detailed by dinner to give his workers ample time to bring it all together.
Pt 2
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beepboopkek · 6 months
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— I will always come to your aid (AMAB!Reader)
AFAB!Reader has also been posted! including: Jing Yuan cw: !!NSFW!!, amab!reader, grammar and spelling errors possible, pwp but barely, hinted that reader has a s1ze k1nk, f1ng3r1ng, reader is a little sarcastic, still spreading my Jing Yuan is a Bastard (affectionate) agenda, masturbat1on, getting caught masturbat1ng, d1rty talk, cum eat1ng, no use of y/n, reader can be interpreted as the trailblazer but they are NOT stelle/caelus, safe sane and consensual w/c: 2k a/n: people liked strip starchess so much so here is another one of my brainrots... i dont usually like this troupe that much but i find myself excusing anything and everything for jing yuan so here we are. for my female reader likers i got u, its being posted right after this so you guys can enjoy too :3. also just remember that this is NOT stelle/caelus, its the you haha, i dont like shipping the raccoons with anyone as a personal pref so I'm just making that clear :3. anyways same warning as last time this is like my third time writing smut and also english isn't my first language. enjoy!!
The crisis on the Xianzhou Luofu was mostly over.
Which meant you had to leave the man you had fallen head over heels in love with.
Well— love may be an exaggeration but you weren't fucking around when it came to him.
Jing Yuan.
Your eyes had been hooked onto him the second you two met, his pleasant smile, his calm demeanor, his body—fuck, everything about him enamored you.
You could only wish that there was some other universe where he reciprocated your feelings.
You departed with a respectful nod of the head, despite wanting to smoosh your face between his pecs and cry about never getting to see them again.
The only hope that you did have though, was the jade abacus he had gifted you and your companions.
“No matter how astronomically distant you are, The Luofu Cloud Knights will always come to the aid of the Crew, whatever your need may be.”
Of course, his next sentence was to not use it for trivial matters when he saw March’s reaction, much to your amusement.
There was a discussion on who should keep the jade abacus, March being ruled out first much to her annoyance.
It landed between you and Dan Heng and given his history with the Xianzhou Luofu, he handed it to you.
That's how you ended up here, standing in front of your locked door with the abacus in your hand.
What if you grip it— You need to rinse your brain with cold water at this point…
You flopped onto bed, letting the exhaustion of the day seep into your bones as the plush blanket and pillows surrounded you.
You threw the abacus to your side, you'll take care of it later, not like you're gonna need it right now anyway.
Your mind flooded with images of Jing Yuan, his voice and everything you had been through together.
Fuck.
Your hand drifted towards your dick, already feeling some pre-cum gathering at the thought of what you were about to do.
— Touch yourself to the thought of the General of the Cloud Knights on the Xianzhou Luofu, one of the most powerful beings to ever exist in history.
You shook your doubts away, he's just Jing Yuan to you.
You took off your shorts in record speed, tossing your boxers along with it.
You never really touched yourself that often so you tried to imagine your hand being his instead.
You rubbed the head of your cock, gasping at the cold touch of your fingers on the warm flesh.
How would he touch you?
He'd take his time, surely. He's not one to rush things— He'd work you open slowly for his cock—fuck, you're sure it's in proportion with how goddamn large his body is.
You moaned as you inserted two fingers inside your asshole. You wanted to imagine Jing Yuan doing it, really, But, you also wanted an orgasm quickly so you can sleep. So, you just decided to go with imagining his voice talking to you.
You pistoned your fingers in and out, curling them at the spot only you could reach with your much smaller hands.
It was too intense, the thought of his deep voice guiding you through was enough to get your orgasm to graze along the edges of  your belly slowly, building up to be a strong one.
You grabbed the blanket next to you, gripping it tightly as you whispered Jing Yuan's name and continued thrusting your fingers inside you.
You swear the normal part of your brain recognised you gripping an object while gripping the blanket as well but you were genuinely too out of it to care in the slightest.
You're just about to orgasm when everything in your room rattles, as if there's an earthquake. 
Which should be impossible considering you are literally on a massive train that travels through space.
You let go of the blanket and sit up in shock, looking around to see what happened.
…With your fingers still inside you.
“Followers of the Nameless, I am here to assist you, tell me about the situ— Oh.”
You blinked.
Jing Yuan blinked.
Oh. Fuck.
You scrambled, ripping your fingers out and slapping your lower half with a pillow.
“J-Jing Yuan I-” 
You gulped, trying to calm your racing heart, you just got caught masturbating by your crush.
Life is going great.
Your cheeks and ears were beet red now, opening and closing your mouth as you tried to say something, anything to get you out of this situation.
Jing Yuan was just as surprised, if not astonished, by the scene that had unfolded in front of him.
He was finishing up some paperwork that Lady Fu had so kindly delivered to him in the Alchemy Commission when suddenly, the jade abacus he had clipped to his belt loop started vibrating.
Not one to panic, he quickly unhooked it and got it closer to his ear, so that he could hear what the Express were asking of.
What he didn't expect was to hear the voice of his crush, the one that he has acquired after decades of not entertaining any romantic relationships, whispering and calling out his name.
Okay, maybe now he should panic.
Without a second thought, Jing Yuan summoned his weapon and gripped the jade abacus back, signaling it to teleport him to your location.
Paperwork be damned he would rather lose a 100 years of his life if it mean you would be safe.
That landed him here, in front of a half naked (and very surprised) you.
He dissolved his weapon into thin air and folded his arms against his chest.
“Well, this is a surprise.”
“Wow, you don't say.”
Jing Yuan raised an eyebrow at your tone.
“S-sorry, I don't know how you got here.”
An interesting turn of events.
“... Did you not call for me?”
“No, Why would I? Even if I did, how did you just…magically appear here?”
“Oh, dear.”
“What?”
“The jade abacus. I think you… I think you gripped it while you were…busy.”
He looked into your eyes and back down at the pillow that was barely covering your lower half.
“The jade aba—” 
You cut yourself off, turning to your side to where you had thrown it, only to find the wretched object to be in the center of your crumpled blanket.
“Fuck.” 
“Jing Yuan— I am so, so , so, sorry, I swear this was an honest mistake and I'll—”
Jing Yuan cut you off with the raise of his hand. “I forgive you.” “Really? Great let me j—”
“On one condition.” Of course there’s a catch. You sighed begrudgingly.
“What do you need help with?” “Quite the opposite, actually.” Your eyes widened but before you could let out your protests, Jing Yuan spoke up again. “You let me help you finish.” The gall of this man.You’re still going to take the chance that he doesn’t know what you were doing. “Finish what?”
You tried to sound innocent but your voice came out breathier than you wanted it to be. “Dont play coy now, you know exactly what I mean.” Your face burnt in embarrassment as you looked away. Jing Yuan dragged your desk chair and got it to the front of your bed before sitting down and making himself comfortable, propping one leg on the other and leaning back. “Go on, show me exactly what you were doing before I got here,hm?” “I can’t.” Jing Yuan paused, shit, had he misread the situation? Maybe he should—
“I can’t do it without you.” You had covered your red face at this point, way too embarrassed to look him in the eye while speaking. Jing Yuan just about lost it at that, abandoning all doubt and pouncing on you, grabbing your face to take you in a devouring kiss. He threw the pillow covering your bottom half in a random direction, quickly pecking you on the cheeks before pulling your hand over his. “Guide me.” You nodded shyly and pushed his hand towards your hard cock again. Fuck. His hands were just the way you imagined them. Warm and big, enough to hold your own two hands.
His hand (under your guidance and insistence) wrapped around your dick. “I’ve barely touched you, were you letting out pre while we were talking, hm? Did it turn you on to have me catch you in such an embarrassing state?” Jing Yuan whispered in your ear as he hovered over you and you thanked every Aeon known for this opportunity because fuck, your imagination did not do any justice to how good the general was. Jing Yuan gave your cock a few strokes before using the pre-come as lube and dipped the tip of his finger in your asshole, not entering but adding just enough stimulation for you to feel something there.
“Answer me.”
“No, I swear I didn’t, Jing Yuan, please—”
Jing Yuan smiled, he didn’t know you would be this easy to subdue.
He gently thrusted his finger inside, watching your face for any discomfort or resistance.
But, he was only met with your blissed out face, as you gasped in pleasure from his ministartions.
“Were you able to reach here?” He curled his finger upwards, hitting your sensitive spot just right.
You threw your hand over your mouth, pinching your mouth shut and praying, once again, to all the aeons you knew that the other passengers on the Express were dead asleep and couldn’t hear you. Granted, your room was the last in the carriage and had a decent amount of sound proofing but, you were still not risking it.
Your snapped out of your worries when Jing Yuan pushed in another finger alongside the one that was already in you.
“It looks like you’re getting distracted, maybe I’m not doing my job well enough?”
“N—Fuck, Its good, I’m sorry—Shit—”
Jing yuan simply kissed your head affectionately like he wasnt fingering you to hell and back right now and picked up the pace of his fingers.
Your hand was just gripping his wrist and you werent sure if it was to egg him to continue or get him to slow down and stop.
Maybe both.
Your head rolled back on the bed, exposing your bare neck to Jing Yuan as he immediately took the opportunity to cover your neck in kisses, Aeons be dammed. There's no way hes letting you walk out of this room unmarked and not carrying any proof of the evening you spent with him.
You gasped as Jing Yuan wrapped his other hand around your dick and your orgasm finally, finally overtook you. You shook in the general’s grasp as he continued thrusting his fingers in and out, drawing out the pleasure.
Taking his soaked fingers off your dick, he popped them in his mouth, savouring the taste while you recovered from the intense bout of sensations you just went through.
You propped yourself up on your elbows again, looking at Jing Yuan owlishly as your head cleared from the horniness.
Jing Yuan only smiled at you before holding your head and kissing your forehead again before gathering you in his arms.
“Call me old fashioned or old but I do believe in the proper process of courting someone and,”
He looked into your eyes as he cupped your face in one palm and brushed the thumb along the seam of your chin.
“I think we skipped a few steps.”
“Yeah, no shit, general.”
He laughed at that, his chest shaking as the deep sound rumbled from his throat, you blushed again.
You were in the arms of the man you’ve wanted to kiss since you stepped foot on the Xianzhou ship. You covered your burning face with your palms again as Jing Yuan’s laughter died down into little chuckles.
“We did all of that and youre getting shy now?”
“Shut up. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this.”
“Wanted what? To get fingered by me?”
“No! — I mean that too, I guess, but I meant being held by you! Stop playing games, Jing Yuan.”
Jing Yuan only laughed as he took his free hand and grabbed your hands, turning them towards him one after the other and kissing the palm.
“I jest, I jest. But, I must stay here for the night. I’m afraid I can't travel back to the Xianzhou Luofu seeing as we aren’t closeby.”
You smiled.
Jing Yuan’s eyes twinkled in mischief right back at you.
“Be my guest.”
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erinlasgalen · 6 years
Text
Promised fic is here!!
I got my head back in gear and finished it!! Yesss. @puga6203, I hope you like it, it’s based on your video in youtube ))
Honey, honey~
“..totally has the hots for me dudes! I mean, did you see the way she looked at me? Those were totally bedroom eyes!”
A supposedly dull Tuesday found our South Park High boys merrily walking home after school, accompanied by yet another episode of “How I tried to woo Bebe and it wasn’t a rejection, dammit!” by yours truly Clyde Donovan.
“Pff, like you even know what ‘bedroom eyes’ means.” Token, being the generous friend that he is, sniggers, trailing behind the resident rainbow couple. “I sooooo do!” Clyde whirls around from his impromptu spot of the leader, accusingly pointing at  his offender.  “It was totally the same look Stan always has when he stalks Wendy!”
There is an indignant “Oy!” from the very back.
“Or when Cartman ogles Kyle!” “ It’s more of a, hmm...”, Token hums, finger on his chin. “..oh,  ‘I’m planning to make sauce out of you and feed it to Stan’ look.”
“Definitely not bedroom eyes” Tweek grins, showing a surprisingly perfect row of white teeth for someone who inhales coffee as much as a certain Marsh talks about his on and off girlfriend.
“Yeah or…” Clyde rounds on the blonde “.. every time someone mentions you in front of Craig! I mean  just saying ‘coffee’ is enough to get him to -..oww!” He was asking for the punch that followed. Despite being rather scrawny and frail looking, Tweek was one of their strongest fighters after all.
Chuckles erupt around them as everyone waits for the inevitable monotone grumble or the bird from the boy’s other half.
“Sugar?” Totally not a synonym to ‘go fuck yourselves’.
“What?” chirps Tweek at the same time Clyde lets out an extremely intelligent ‘eh’. Graig leans on the blonde, the hand on his shoulder rather protective.
“Oh, honey honey!”
“Oh no..”, Tweek wails and tears himself away from his boyfriend, a decent scowl adoring his rapidly reddening face. “God dammit, Craig.”
“See Clyde, now that’s what I c..ca..call bedroom eyes!” Jimmy stutters, eyes zoning on the couple, who were slowly and surely becoming the center of attention on the sidewalk.
Now, his tactical retreat doesn't exactly go unnoticed by the rest as they stare dumbly from the coffee addict to the cheery brunette, who was actually smiling...a very real and incredibly sappy smile without a care in the world.
Craig Tucker never smiles! Like, ever!
“Wait a second, is Craig sin..-”, Token’s astonishment however, is cut off when said boy belches out ‘You are my candy boy~’ in a suspiciously disney princess like manner.
Their jaws drop.
“And you got me wanting you~” With the devious charm of a pirate, the boy continues hitting the notes so perfectly that one would think he has a fairy godmother somewhere under the bed who regularly gives his vocal cords a boost spell.
Tweeks  whole face is burning crimson by now. “I am so - hngh- sorry you guys..”
“Uh”, Clyde, as responsive as ever squeaks just as Craig reaches his better half in two long strides and sweeps him in his arms for an impromptu waltz.
“Honey~”, he purrs, nuzzling the cheek. “Oh, sugar sugar!” He twirls Tweek around in a pirouette and bows gracefully, which was a feat considering most of the time he is a awkward goose. “You are my candy boy, and you got me wanting you!”
“C..craig!”, hisses the blonde to no effect whatsoever.
Craig does a half turn and proceeds to purr. “I just can’t believe the loveliness of loving you!” He bends down to kiss one tomato cheek. “I just can’t believe it’s true..”
He even has the audacity to wiggle his hips!
Tweek sighs. Defeated and embarrassed, he twists his head around to wail at his gobsmacked friends rather miserably.
“You guys, he’s doing it again..”
“Again?” At Jimmy’s raised eyebrow they simultaneously turn to stare at the brunette, who from unknown sources has somehow acquired a microphone and is obviously imagining himself as Freddie fucking Mercury.
At least his voice fits.
“You mean he actually sang for you before? Why haven’t we heard him sing!” Clyde screeches, making them all cringe. Tweek watches his boyfriend literally melt the snow around with a powerful roar of ‘put a lil sugar on me babe~’. “He did sing, once..” Tweek twitches violently. “I need ..hngh..coffee!”
Jimmy eyebrows fur a bit, recalling a distant memory. “T-that’s right,  back in fourth g..gr..grade”,
Clyde crosses his arms, clearly distressed. “Well maybe I wanted to hear him sing for me too! He’s supposed to be my best mate! What the fuck is he singing anyways..?” “Screw that, what I wanna know,” a new voice pipes up, “..is one, where the hell he got that sweet tambourine from!” An orange puffy hood squeezes in between them to reveal the smirking face of Kenny Mccormick. “Two, sweet damn, where does he keep that sexy voice, mhumm”.
Tweek, unimpressed as ever, raises a blonde brow. Meanwhile the singing sensation slanders over to the commotion and drapes himself all over the blonde spaz, still humming the ending of song under his breath.
“And three, does this method actually work?”
“It’s been tested” Craig smirks and squeezes his human pillow. Tweek hides his face in the his chest. “I’m gonna make your life so sweet..”
“Oh gross..”, groans Token and promptly facepalms. Craig stares pointedly at the orange blob.
“Sweet! Say Tweekers, my darlin’ babycheeks, do I have you explicit permission to borrow your lesser half for a couple of hours? For a strategy meeting!”
______________________________________________________________
“Kyle!”
The redhead skids to a stop at the sudden shout and whirls around, carefully chosen curse words already on his lips as he focuses on his basketball practice offender.
His eyebrows rise as his brain registers the usual orange blob he calls a friend and just what he is dragging around with him.
“Is that an old cassette player?”, he wonders, staring dumbly at the blonde, who is carefully maneuvering himself across the stands with the enormous thing on his shoulder, a mike in his hand and a very cheeky grin he can make out even from the court.
“What in the…”
“YOU’RE JUST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE~”
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bleedingout4you · 5 years
Text
Through Time and Fading Memory
Tumblr media
Image credit: goingtodurin.tumblr.com
This is a h/c fanfiction for Allanon that I’ve been writing with help from the wonderful @swingrlm. This is chapter one. You can also read it here on AO3.
Fandom: Shannara (TV show), Pairing: Allanon x Pyria, Rating: Mature
Summary: Allanon faces off with his long time enemy, the Warlock Lord, knowing in his heart that he won't survive this stand off. Memories of his past come unbidden into his mind. He can't help but remember the many times that he's stood against evil, but he also remembers the times he spent with the woman that he loved.
Deep beneath the Enclave, the fight for the four lands had begun.  The Mord Wraiths had found them.
 Allanon hurried down the stairs in search of Wil and Mareth, when he came upon a streak of blood. Following the red stain, he came upon the body of the young boy he had been talking to earlier that day.  
Allanon turned away from the sight of the dead boy. It was clear that the Warlock Lord hadn’t changed much. The murdering of innocents, simply because he could, was a trait that he’d always carried. Allanon turned the corner and there he was. He found himself looking back at his own face, though it had been perverted with marks and piercings, but the most disturbing thing was those dark, soulless eyes. He’d never forget those eyes.
“Hello.... my old friend.” The Warlock Lord hissed, and though the voice wasn’t his, the tone was all too familiar. He could hear the sarcasm dripping off each of his words.  “Your blood brought me back, Druid.”
“Nothing can disguise the blackness of your soul.” Allanon responded. The Warlock Lord seemed to think the fact that his blood had brought him back was some sort of justice. He knew the man had always blamed him for destroying his plans.
The Warlock Lord smiled slowly, in the way that was so familiar to Allanon. He tilted his head to the side looking him up and down. “You are weak, like your pupil.” Allanon recalled Bandon’s body lying in the center of Graymark, and he recalled the young elf full of life, eager to get his visions under control. With that memory came the one of Bandon breaking under the pressure. He’d watched it happen and it had been his fault. He’d left Bandon open for the influence of the Warlock Lord’s sword. Perhaps it was some sort of poetic justice that he now had his face. “You will pay for what you did to Bandon.”
The Warlock Lord seemed more or less amused at his words. “You cannot defeat me... Allanon.”
Cogline came around the corner,  the look of surprise that flashed across his face at the sight of the Warlock Lord vanished as quickly as it appeared. “Perhaps not alone. You’ve always underestimated the importance of allies.”
“Alliances are for those who are too weak to empower themselves.” The other pointed out. It was something that he had always believed. The Warlock Lord never allied himself with anyone, unless he was using them.
Cogline lowered his voice and spoke to Allanon. “Every second we waste, Lyria is in danger.”
“Their fate is in Wil’s hands now. We have our own war to fight.” Allanon answer calmly. They would all have to depend on Wil now. He was the only hope of defeating the Warlock Lord. All he could do was slow the man down. His magic was fading, and the Warlock Lord was at full power. The two of them had been evenly matched before and Allanon had barely made it out alive. This time, he knew there would be no walking away. He had come to face the Warlock Lord knowing full well that he was facing his death. What he hadn’t counted on was all the feelings that had been stirred up inside him.
He’d heard that when a man faced death that his entire life would flash before his eyes, and he could see it now. A life of solitude and loneliness. There were flashes of warmth as the faces of people he had cared about came to mind. It was these people that had made life worth living, that had made him feel like everything that he had suffered had been worth it. It was for them that he’d fought battles and bled for this world, and it was for them that he would proudly lay down his life. Allanon pulled his sword from his belt and activated the steel blade stepping forward to meet the Warlock Lord in battle.
 Many Years Earlier
Pyria leaned against the sill of her window and gazed down at the town below. Arborlon was always a quiet place, peaceful, or perhaps boring if you looked at that way. She enjoyed peace, but today it was simply another day in her life where nothing was happening. She pushed the window open and tapped her fingers on the glass, wondering what it would take to convince her brother to allow her to at least travel to another elvin stronghold.
Sighing to herself, she looked up at the birds silhouetted in the sky. She supposed most would regard her as a spoiled princess, daring to complain about her lot in life, but she couldn’t help but wish she could have some sort of adventure. She wanted to see the distant mountains, the small towns, and feel the ocean water running over her feet.
A gentle knock on the door pulled her away from her thoughts and she turned to see her handmaid, Ashala, at the door. “My lady, your brother, the King has returned.”
Pyria pulled the window shut and rushed up to her maid, excitement glinting in her eyes. “Has he brought the Druid with him?”
The handmaid giggled into her hand. “According to the General, he has.”
Pyria gave her friend a knowing smile. It was no secret that Ashala was sweet on General Edensong. “Very good, let’s go down and see what this famed Druid looks like.” She linked her arm with Ashala as they made their way down the stairs. “I’ll bet he is an old man with a limp.” She announced brushing a loose strand of hair from her face.
“The Druids have been around since the beginning of time, I’ll bet he’s covered in wrinkles.” Ashala joined in on the joke as they swept down the palace halls and reached the throne room, still giggling quietly to one another.
Eventine caught sight of the two girls, beckoning them forward. “Allanon, this is my younger sister, Pyria Elessedil. Pyria, meet the Druid Allanon.”
The man had his back to her, but already, the Druid didn’t fit the description she had in her mind. He was much taller than she’d thought he would be and his shoulders were broader. Her eyes swept up his robe and over the runes carved into his skin. Allanon turned to face her, and she looked into to his gentle, dark eyes and felt her heart flutter in her chest.
Pyria released Ashala’s arm and stepped forward. “Nice to finally meet you, Allanon.” She spoke firmly, attempting to hide the blush that stood out on her light skin.
He glanced at Eventine and then looked back to her, a small smile on his lips. “It is nice to meet you too, princess.” He gave her a short bow as was appropriate to her station. “The King was just about to show me to Arborlon’s library.”
“I could take you.” Pyria quickly spoke up. She wasn’t about to let the dark stranger get away from her. There were so many questions she wanted to ask him. “I’ve spent more time there than my brother, so perhaps I can help you find what you are looking for.”
Allanon looked hesitant, but Eventine seemed satisfied with the idea. “Could you? My wife is waiting for me, and I’d like to get back to her.” He rubbed the Druid’s shoulder as he passed by. “You’ll be in good hands.”
Pyria turned to Ashala. “I’ll catch up with you later.” She saw the teasing smile on her friend’s face as she turned to leave. She turned on her heel back to the Druid. “Shall we continue to the library?”
“Of course, lead the way, princess.” Allanon didn’t move from his spot until she started walking and fell in step just off her right shoulder.
She had a feeling the man knew exactly where the library was, but he was probably being polite. His politeness seemed to end there as he made no attempts to start small talk, but left an awkward silence grow between them. “So, how long have you been a Druid?”
“Since before you were born.” He responded and made no move to elaborate on his statement.
She glanced over her shoulder at him and wondered how old he was. He looked so much younger than she’d pictured. He sensed her eyes on him and looked back to her and she quickly turned away. “Here is the library.”
Pyria pushed open the doors of the large library and watched his reaction. He didn’t seem surprised by what they had to offer, which confirmed her suspicions that he’d been here before. “What are you looking for?”
“An old protection spell.” Allanon answered, walking up to the first set of shelves and trailing his hand over the spines of the books. “It would appear that you’ve reorganized the room.” He looked back to her with an expectant expression on his face.
“Um, of course.” She flipped her dark brown braid back over her shoulder and quickly led him to the far side of the room. “These are all the books that have magic. We keep them in the back, since they aren’t used that often. I can’t even read half of them.” Most of the text was written in Druid. She’d attempted to learn it, but it was impossible without some form of instruction.
Allanon turned his attention to the books, whispering to himself as he read the titles. He knelt down to look at the ones on the lower shelf, giving her a clear view of the runes carved into his skin.
She’d seen some of the runes in the books she’d flipped through, and wondered what they meant. “Did they hurt?” She asked him.
Allanon looked up, but he wasn’t confused. It was as if he could read her mind and knew exactly what she’d meant. “Yes.” He smiled at her flustered expression. “You should go find your friend. I will be fine from here.” He dismissed her so easily as he selected a book and carried it to the table.
Pyria placed her hands on her hips feeling flustered and upset. “I said that I would help you find what you’re looking for and I meant it.” She marched up to the Druid giving him her most determined look. “Now tell me how I can help you.”
Allanon looked up from his open book with a look of patience. “Princess, I don’t know what tales of adventures you hope to learn from me, but you will be disappointed. There is no way to romanticize the things that I’ve seen.”
Pyria felt her face burning in embarrassment at his words. Everything that he said made her want to do exactly what he’d suggested and seek out Ashala for company. But he had underestimated her will power. She crossed her arms and raised her chin in defiance. “If you don’t need help now, perhaps you will later.” Crossing the room to another shelf, she selected a book on healing from the top shelf. “I shall be right over here if you need me.” She sat down at the table across from him, smoothing down the wrinkles in her dress and trying to appear dignified.
She waited for some sort of protest, but all she heard was him laugh quietly under his breath. Silence stretched out between them, and focusing on the words in front of her was nearly impossible. Sneaking a quick glance up at the man across from her, she was almost disappointed that he seemed to have no trouble focusing on his dusty old tome.
Allanon placed another book down on the table in front of him. The stack of tomes was growing beside him, but the spell he needed wasn’t in any of the books he’d searched through. He rubbed his eyes trying to focus himself, but the runes on the pages were all starting to blur together. He had been researching in the library for several days now, and every day Pyria joined him, sitting at the table across from him.
At first, he’d been bothered by sensing her constant thoughts about whether he’d acknowledge her in some way or ask her to help, but he’d gotten used to her being around. It was what made today rather strange. The table across from him sat empty and he could only assume that she’d grown bored of watching him endlessly page through old books.
He rested his chin on his hands and just closed his eyes for a few minutes. He’d been working at this with barely any rest and only short pauses to eat some food that he had in his pack. He hadn’t see much of anyone, save Pyria during this time. Eventine invited him to dinner last night, but he’d declined. Paranor held the Codex sealed within its walls. He needed to ensure that the old druid keep was protected against those that would steal the book.
Paranor. He sighed heavily to himself. In his mind’s eye he could see the old keep, alive with activity. Druid masters training young magic users, visitors coming to them in need of help or shelter, and of course his master standing at the council table. He could recall the halls he’d once walked down as a boy. They weren’t splendid like castle walls, but he’d always been entranced by the runes that scrolled down the pillars.
But like most things in life, the memory faded to ash. Paranor was simply a shell of what it was. A tomb for the Druid order. He could recall the battle that took place and the sounds of his brothers and sisters dying around him. He never imagined they could lose, but lose they did. They were wiped from the face of the earth, like a message carved into the beach sand was removed with the incoming tide.
“Allanon?”
Allanon jumped a little and his eyes flew open. He looked up and saw Pyria standing at the side of the table. He didn’t need to read her mind to see that she was trying very hard not to laugh. He sat back in his chair and tried to figure out how long he’d been daydreaming.
“Well Master Druid, looks like I’ve arrived just in time.” Pyria pushed the book in front of him to the side and placed a plate of food in front of him, complete with a steaming cup of tea.
He didn’t realize how hungry he was until he smelled the food sitting in front of him. “Thank you, princess.” He felt her irritation before she vocalized it.
“I have a name you know. It’s Pyria in case you forgot.” Her hands found her hips again, as seemed to be her favored position.
“My apologies, Princess Pyria.” Watching her roll her eyes, he couldn’t help but smile in spite of himself at how riled she was about his use of her proper title.
“Now you’re just teasing me.” She took a seat on the chair across from him, watching him take a bite of his food. Her head tilted to the side as she glanced at the book next to him.
“You are still wondering how you can help me.” Allanon watched the young elf jump and glare at him. He found her to be more amusing than annoying like he had first thought.
“Would it be so bad if I helped you?” She asked, crossing her arms. “Clearly, you need all the help you can get.”
He wasn’t sure if he would have phrased it that way, but perhaps he was being stubborn. The few days he’d spent with her had revealed that she may be a young girl at heart, but she was clever and well-read in many fields. “I’m looking for books that contain this rune on the cover.” He pointed to one of the runes on the open page.
Pyria leaned closer to get a good look at the rune. “What does it mean?”
She certainly was infinitely curious. “It means protection.” He told her. “And this one next to it refers to an object or place. I need to find a protection spell for an old keep. This is a combination of runes that would be part of the spell.”
She nodded along with what he was saying, her eyes narrowed in concentration as she memorized the runes. “Alright, you just enjoy your meal then, while I go find your book.” She bounced up from the table and made her way to the bookshelves.
He watched her bound away and turned back to his food, shaking his head at the amount of energy she possessed. By the time he’d cleaned his plate she had stacked five books on the edge of the counter, and by the time he looked through one of the books the pile had grown considerably. “Princess.”
Pyria froze in mid step to cast him a disapproving look. “Pyria you mean.” She placed the two books she was carrying on top of the stack of tomes.
Allanon understood the sentiment of people with titles that preferred to go by their first names, but it was inappropriate for a Druid to be in such good favor with a royal. “You were right, this task might be best served if there are two searching.”
She looked pleased with herself. “I’m glad you’ve come to your senses.”
“It would help me greatly if you could read Druid runes.” Allanon watched her eyes light up, she was hoping that he was about to offer her the chance to learn something new. “I can give a brief lesson if you are willing to learn.”
Before he could blink, she’d settled herself down in the chair next to him. “Of course I’m willing.” Her voice laced with excitement.
Pyria was fast a learner and giving her a basic lesson in druid runes didn’t take very long. It would take her years of studying to be able to read fluently, but it was enough for now. The two had divided the books between them and started going through them.
Allanon wasn’t sure how many hours slipped by, but at some point he lit candles for the two of them. They passed the books back and forth and he answered questions she had about the runes she was looking over. He pushed the book he was looking at aside and reached for another only to find that the pile of books had disappeared. “We need to get more books.” He got to his feet and paused when she didn’t answer him. “Pyria.”
It slipped out so naturally that he realized he had dropped her proper title several hours ago. It wasn’t professional, but he viewed the young elf as a friend. It was a mistake to think that way. It allowed him to grow closer to someone that he’d just end up losing. He knew the spell he was seeking would cost him too much, and he would have to replenish his magic by going into a Druid sleep. He didn’t know when he’d wake up, but he did know that she wouldn’t be the same person.
He looked down at the girl, her arms folded over the tome in front of her, cradling her head. He didn’t know when she’d nodded off, but he knew that it was late. “Perhaps we should take rest for the night.” He smiled to himself, he had to admire her dedication. She would certainly make a great leader one day.
He blew out the candles and carefully lifted Pyria into his arms. She was so light, that it was like cradling a small bird in his hands. She buried her face into his bicep as he carefully moved toward the door, trying his best not to wake her.
Allanon pushed the door to her room open and slipped inside. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t the amount of foreign trinkets that were hung around the room. He had sensed that she had a spirit of adventure, he just didn’t know how deep it ran. In her position it could either be blessing or curse.
He gently laid her down on her bed and her eyes fluttered open. The hazel eyes looked up at him in confusion. “Allanon?”
“You fell asleep.” He told her softly.
“I did?” She rubbed her forehead and looked around. “Where am I?”
“In your room.” Allanon picked up the folded blanket at the end of her bed and pulled it over her. “We are done searching for the night. Rest.”
She nodded tiredly and closed her eyes with a tired sigh.
Allanon made his way back to the door and glanced over his shoulder at the sleeping princess. She looked so peaceful right now. He hoped that in her life she would only know peace.
Pyria sat in her bed, her knees pulled up to her chest. She could barely keep the smile off her face. What happened last night was running through her mind on repeat. It was almost like a dream, but she could remember every detail. She hugged herself, still feeling the strong arms around her.
He had been so gentle that she’d almost slept through it, but she was glad that she’d woken up when he’d opened the door to her room. For a moment she’d been so close to him that she could look up into those dark brown eyes. They were so kind, but at the same time, they seemed so sad. Lonely. She wondered if he was lonely or if perhaps she was only imaging it.
She sprang from her bed with a giggle of delight. She wasn’t sure how she could possibly act normal when she met with him in the library today. She was practically floating as she raced down the stairs. A few twists and turns and she was right in front of the library doors. She reached out to open it, when it swung open and she was face to face with the Druid. “Oh!” She jumped back, feeling as if she was blushing from head to foot.
Allanon looked surprised by her as well. He also looked sad. She was certain that she wasn’t making it up this time. She spotted a book tucked under his arm. “Did you find what you were looking for?” She asked, unsure whether she should be excited or not.
“Yes.” He responded, and his tone sounded as distant as it did the first day he met her. He moved past her making his way down the hall.
“That's a good thing, right?” Pyria had to jog to catch up with him. “Allanon, is something wrong?”
“No.” Allanon stopped and looked down at her. Pyria knew at once that she hadn’t been seeing things. The loneliness that reflected in his eyes broke her heart. “Thank you for all your help, Princess, but I have to go.”
“Wait, you’re leaving?” She was shocked at his words. The last few days had been so good, and now he was just leaving. “At least stay for breakfast.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t stay.” He looked at her as if he was seeing her for the last time and then moved away. “Apologize to your brother for me.” He called back to her and paused at the great door. “Goodbye, Pyria.”
“Safe travels until I see you again.” She called to him. For a moment his silhouette was in the doorway and then he was gone. She took a deep breath trying not to feel hurt. She knew what he was doing was important. The spell was one of protection, protection for something important. She rested a hand over her heart and blinked back the tears in her eyes. He would return once he was done, she was sure of it. “I will see him again.” She promised herself quietly.
Most people might feel a sense of accomplishment after completing a difficult task, but then again, most people weren’t magic users. Allanon was on his knees looking up at Paranor, the great Druid Keep. To the naked eye nothing had changed, but the entire fortress was now cloaked in a spell to repel the forces of evil.
He tried to draw in a breath but it was more like a ragged gasp that wracked his whole body. The runes that had been carved into his skin were supposed to help him channel magic and minimize physical damage, but it didn’t make a difference when you performed a spell this powerful. Allanon looked at the book laying on the ground in front of him and reached for it. Just the attempt at moving his fingers set searing, daggers of pain lacing up his arm,  turning his vision bright white. He collapsed forward on top of the book and lay there in the sand. The last of his energy had been used when casting the spell and he’d felt the magic burning away his skin, but he’d pushed through the pain. Now he was worried to remove his clothing and see the damage, but he knew eventually he'd have to. Once he reached the Druid table, he would have to rest the healing rune craved into his back on the table. Clothing would interrupt the connection, and the process to heal would take far longer.
His eyes drifted shut. He needed to rest, to shut out the pain for just a few moments. He knew if he rested now there was a chance he wouldn’t wake up. His hand was laying stretched out in front of him and he tried to tuck his arm under him to help push himself up, but just bending his elbow made him feel like his skin cracked open. “Just a little rest.” He whispered into the dust.
When Allanon woke, the sun was hot on his back. He wasn’t sure if it was a few hours later or days, but if he’d thought that he’d feel better, he was gravely mistaken. His entire body felt stiff and just breathing made him feel like his lungs were bursting. He’d been burned by magic use before, but this time it felt like even his insides had been lit on fire.
Allanon pushed his knee up under him and managed to roll onto his back. “Ugh.” He winced as his back touched the ground. Trying to pull in enough air to whistle, but the only sound that escaped his lips was a whimper. He realized that he’d made a mistake coming here alone. He should have had the foresight to take someone with him.
He sensed the familiar tingle of panic in the back of his mind, it was causing his heart rate to increase. He needed to control the urge to panic and channel it into something useful. He licked his parched lips and attempted to whistle again. He managed to produce a weak, strangled sounding whistle and just hoped that his horse hadn’t wandered off.
He felt the horse nuzzle the top of his head and let out a sigh of relief. Now the real struggle began. He leaned his head back until he could see the stirrup of the saddle, all he had to do right now was grab that stirrup. Just reach it, he chanted in his mind.  Lifting his arm slowly, he ignored the way his skin stuck to the inside of his sleeve, the movement causing his skin to pull. Just reach it. His hand landed on the edge of the stirrup and he curled his fingers around it. He could feel the skin of his fingers tearing free from the inside of the glove and it took everything in his power not to scream and spook his horse.
Allanon tried to control his ragged breathing as he waited for the pain in his arm and hand to fade from screaming pain to an intense throb. Figuring it was as good as he could expect, he knew it was time to move again. One hand over the other. He locked his jaw together and reached his left hand over his right, grabbing onto the side of the saddle. The pain was so intense he was afraid he’d loose grip on the saddle, so without waiting, he pulled upwards, tucking his legs beneath him and pulled himself to his feet.
His vision dissolved into black spots and he clung to the saddle as tightly as he could. His jaw was so firmly clamped together that he wondered if his teeth would just simply crack from the pressure. He reached over the saddle and pulled himself up onto his horse. He knew he was just moments away from passing out so he had to work quickly. His fingers fumbled with the buckle on his belt and finally at the third try he freed it. He loosened it just enough to slide it through the front of the saddle, lashing himself to the horse. He slumped down against the horse’s neck and let himself fall into the blackness that was calling him.
Biting pain woke Allanon. He was partially slumped off the side of his horse and the belt was cutting into his side. He opened his eyes just enough to see that they’d come to a halt at the entrance of a cave. Relief flooded his mind, it was a cool reassurance that soon this would be over. He didn’t bother attempting to untie the belt. He freed his Druid sword and activated the blade, letting it cut through the leather.
He fell heavily on his shoulder and cried out in pain, unable to stop himself this time. His horse bolted a few steps from him, snorting in fear at the sound of his cry combined with the smell of blood. “Thank you.” He muttered under his breath to the beast that had managed to carry him this far.
He struggled to his feet, the hope of release from the pain was the only thing that kept him moving. He stumbled into the cave and his eyes rested on the Druid table. Almost there.  He looked down at the dust covered clothes he wore and tried not to image what his skin looked like underneath.
Allanon had faced many evils, but right now the fear of removing a single glove from his own hand seemed overwhelming. He took hold of the back of the glove on his right hand and ripped it off. The pain was immediate. It was so bad that he forgot how to scream, or even to breathe. He didn’t know how much skin had left his hand with the glove, but he could feel the blood dripping down off the tips of his fingers.
His breath punched back into his lungs and he found himself gasping and wheezing. His stomach turned over and he found himself clinging to the Druid table as he heaved up whatever was left in his stomach. He let the tears stream down his face and looked down at the other glove. He wasn’t sure how he was going to manage this.
One piece at a time. He told himself. He lifted his left hand to his mouth and bit down on the tip of the glove’s middle finger. He decided to attempt a slower removal and gently slipped the glove off. Once or twice he nearly gave up, but eventually he succeeded. His left hand had sustained less damage so he used it to loosen his tunic. He slowly rolled his shoulders back until it slipped down his arms. He heard the skin on his back and shoulder ripping before he felt the pain.
Allanon had been whipped before, the feeling of a single cord of rope or leather ripping into your skin had been something he’d never wanted to experience again, but this was far worse. It was as if someone had whipped him with a heat, tempered chain. The temptation to fall to his knees was immense, but he knew that if he did, this time he wouldn't get up again.
His hand shook and the cave echoed with his gasp and whimpers of pain, but piece by piece he pulled his clothing off. Once all his outer wear was piled around the table in a blood soaked mess, he was finally able to pull himself up onto the stone. He reached down and caught the hilt of his sword in his left hand. The sword was the last connection he had to the Druid order and he wasn't about to risk it being lost.
The stone was cold, but not in an unpleasant way. It was cool and inviting against his burning skin. He slowly lay down on the table feeling the Druid sleep pulling him in. He felt almost glad for all the pain it had taken just to get this far. At least this way he wouldn’t be shrouded with regret that he didn’t get to spend more time with the people that he called friends.
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Ménage à Trois (Drake x MC x Liam) [NSFW Alphabet]
It’s still Thirsty Thursday here, but it might be Frisky Friday for some of you... but here, at least... is the Drake x Jaela x Liam NSFW Alphabet. I’m warning you now: this is pure FILTH and it you don’t have nsfw or long post blocked and don’t wish to see this, please do so. Jaela’s just living the best life in this world, y’all.
Pairing: Drake x Jaela x Liam / Drake x Liam (yep, I went there)
Rating: NSFW
Warnings: Language; Pure fucking smut after the cut; most turned into mini-drabbles, but I don’t think you’ll mind.
Word Count: ... 5, 539. This is why it’s taken so damn long. Settle in.
** Adding tagging @boneandfur and @decisso for TRR Appreciation week since the tags are being wonky!
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A= Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
She’d never tell either of them, but Liam’s definitely the better cuddler and draws a bath for her, even if it’s 2am and they’re just ready to pass out in each others arms. Though, there’s something about Drake and the way he whispers in her ear the moments after he comes that leaves her breathless, craving for more, even if he falls asleep shortly after, Jaela curled against his side after cleaning up.
Though… they can all agree they love the laughter after a ménage à trois, Drake and Liam’s hands resting on her body between them, caressing her, even after the intense lovemaking, both spoiling her, until they fall asleep, all tangled up.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Liam and Drake both love their dicks—both because of that face Jaela makes when she comes, and she can say the same for them. “How the fuck did I get so lucky?”
“Because,” Liam says, tilting her chin up, smirking and wiping her lips with his thumb while Drake’s nails drag along her back, Jaela shuddering as he pounds into her. “You learned how to share.”
To say that she didn’t have any idea of what would happen the first time they all slept together would be a lie. She knew she’d be treated like a goddess, and that she was. Drake loves her ass, and it all started after one night of too much whiskey and wine, Jaela on Drake’s lap, rough hands squeezing it, trailing soft kisses on his second favorite part of her, her neck. Something about how she throws her head back when she laughs, or when him… or Liam… kiss her there.
Liam wasn’t exactly jealous, watching Drake and Jaela on the chair next to the bonfire, the light bouncing off the Washington woods—and their bodies—perfectly. But… he downed the last of his whiskey. Her tits looks amazing in that shirt, one button undone enough to flash that black lacy bra he loved, too. And he was drunk. So…, why shouldn’t he give it a shot? Turns out, the moment he touched her chest, fingers grazing over her stiff nipple, that was enough for her to pull him into a kiss—only for a moment—before looking between the two of them, all three of their eyes alight with something… new.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…)
Coming in their mouth when they eat her out, or when she rides their face, is her absolute favorite way to come. There’s so much power in how Drake or Liam hold her closer, murmuring how great she tastes, tasting herself on their tongue shortly after.  
The boys, of course, have a favorite place to cum—and then their seconds. Naturally, coming in her is preferable, condom until they all aptly handled the matter of birth control—especially after that one time—but they both have their second favorites, in case they can’t, at least, not at first. Liam loves coming on her tits, and Drake in her mouth, both always locking eyes with her when they do.
But she fucking loves it when they come at nearly the same time, in or on her. And Drake and Liam do too.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Maybe that first threesome—oh god she still gets warm thinking about it—wasn’t exactly spontaneous. “Abdi… can I tell you something?” he whispers, finger tracing circles on her arm, naked bodies intertwined on their bed.
“Of course,” Jaela replies, smiling up at him, pushing aside hair from his forehead. Outside, there’s a distant howl, moonlight peeking through the tall pines. He shifts, taking a deep breath. Jaela props herself up, eyebrows furrowing. “You know you can tell me anything, Drake. Remember, that’s one of our rules: honesty.”
He nods, clicking his tongue. “Well… okay. I… I might have gotten off to hearing you and Liam… more than once.” A beat. “And it took so much willpower not join you two.”
Her eyes widen—but only for a moment, lips curling into a grin. “You know… I wouldn’t have minded.” Drake nearly sputters, pulling her back to him.
“What?!”
Jaela nods, hand trailing down his chest. Like her and Liam haven’t thought it? Like she hasn’t wanted it since well… since they got used to this? “Get a little whiskey into Liam, and get him to watch us, and I can bet we’ll make that happen. Tomorrow?” Drake can only nod, kissing her and rolling on top of her in response, ready for round two.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Being a former Prince and King had its perks, and thus, Liam extremely experienced with women. Drake is too, reaping more than just a place to live, by being the Prince’s best friend. They competed for and shared women—separately—until Jaela came around, stealing their hearts and bodies with just a look. And they make sure she knows all of their tricks… yet still manage to have something up their sleeve.
Jaela too, had her fair share of men. Some hookups, and a handful of relationships that never went anywhere in New York. Though, being poly was a new thing for her, even though Drake and Liam eased her into it. Hell, threesomes were new for her and not for them… though, Drake and Liam laughed that of the threesomes they had, it was surprising that they weren’t involved in one together back in Cordonia… and both wondered why they hadn’t before, gazes lingering on each the first time they touched.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)
She loves riding them, Liam or Drake holding her close and whispering sweet—or dirty as all hell--- nothings into her ear. But god she loves it when they take control and push her against a wall, bend her over, or just pin her down, sometimes looking up at both of them, grinning until one kisses her and the other lowers his mouth to her body, fire kisses heading down to her hips, legs on their shoulders before he dives in.
Liam, surprise surprise, loves being dominant with any position that allows him the control, controlling Jaela or Drake’s pleasure—in a sense, he loses all control when he comes, hips meeting theirs, lips on each others names but yet, he feels like the King he was, seeing how they writhe under his touch. Though, he doesn’t mind being the one under their control, their spell, really, but it has its time and place.
“Jaela, my Queen, I love you…”
“Hmm… but you’re no King…” She giggles, nipping his ear, rolling her hips, Liam gripping them tight, eyes flashing, more heat pooling in her stomach. Oh, that look. How far could she go? “Just a commo—” And in a flash, Liam pins her on the bed, holding her wrists time.
“I think I should tie you up for such blasphemy.”
“Whatever punishment fits the bill… my King.”
Drake, on the other hand, doesn’t mind being submissive to Jaela or Liam’s whims (course, they’re left with plenty of love marks when he’s in control) and loves looking into her eyes and holding Jaela close, whether if she’s on top or not. It’s also fucking hot looking into Liam’s eyes, too, when they three of them fuck, one behind Jaela and the other in front. Or, well, when she’s away and he and Liam are both a little drunk, or not, there’s something about getting lost in his eyes, too.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
After everything they’ve been through, and while there’s so much laughter and joy after they have sex, all three are serious in bed. There’s some goofiness, like the first threesome, all three getting used to each others motions as one, but the order of goofiness—or seriousness, goes as this, is determined around breakfast one snowy morning after a night of lovemaking, first her and Liam… but Drake joined in when he got home from work.
“I can’t believe you laughed when I nearly tripped trying to get to you, Abdi.” Jaela snickers, buttering her toast. It was a sight, Drake barely able to contain himself once he came in the room, Liam’s nod a signal for him to join—if the Statue of Liberty key chain turned outward on their door wasn’t signal enough—almost falling out of his pants.
“So? It was funny!”
“To be fair, Jaela,” Liam says, shaking his protein shake, eyebrow raised. “We were, moments before, quite serious—you had tears, dear.” Jaela rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, yeah… okay, I like to laugh here and there, you sometimes, do, Liam, and Drake…” Jaela and Liam both set their sights on him and he flushes, shifting in the chair.
“Uh…”
“Goes without saying, you serious marshmallow,” Jaela snickers, leaning over and kissing his cheek.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Liam’s well-groomed if not nearly bare, fucking loving feeling all of Jaela or how her mouth feels on him. Drake’s groomed, but sometimes if he’s busy, he’ll forget and be a natural, not that Jaela—or Liam—minds either way. They just love him for him. Jaela mixes it up, honestly, because she busy too but their faces when she is bare always makes her night—and always means she’s about to get no sleep, whether with one or both.  
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
Even in the roughest of nights, there’s always an element of intimacy that starts in the living room—or out in the woods, or well, anywhere really. The small touches, the kisses that begin at the mouth and wander without a hurry…. The in the moment, holding each other tight no matter what, making the other feel loved.
Jaela, once more, wouldn’t say this to the other, but Drake has a certain form of intimacy that takes her breath away, how he looks at her. Was it because she was gone with Liam, vanished without a trace, until she contacted him? Or something else? Thinking he’s second best, even when, finally, they’re both equal in her eyes?
That’s not to say Liam isn’t intimate, god he is, by the way he moves and takes control. How he caresses a jaw as he thrusts from behind, fingers winding into hair and pulling—but never with enough force to hurt. Just enough to remind them who’s is in charge.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
Drake was ashamed, at first, when he did get off to Liam and Jaela’s sounds of lovemaking. Not his fault the first he listened in, they nearly knocked over a chair in the kitchen before retreating to their room and he had to investigate and… well, it was hot, hearing the woman he shares making those sounds.
As much as Liam loves being teased by Jaela, he (or Drake, of course, one of them, ideally) just wants to be the one making her feel like that. Not that he doesn’t mind catching her, pulling her into a kiss, kissing her fingers, or anything but….
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Jaela didn’t call him King Kinky for nothing, when they were in Cordonia. Or out of it, for that matter. Liam and Jaela racked up quite a few kinks: public and outdoor sex for starters, then temperature roleplaying, light bondage… to name a few. Drake never told them that it hurt him, before they found the happy balance they needed, to see the ropes and ties still around their bedposts. Part of the sacrifice, he guessed.
Little did he know he’d be happy to see those months later, and even happier to be tied up with them. First, Jaela taking control—before that breath of temptation spilling over into reality. “Fuck, Jaela—”
“Did I say you could talk?” She purrs, sliding a finger across his lips, pupils dilated as she rides him, nails digging into his chest. Drake gulps and shakes his head, hickies on his neck. She smirks, rising off of him. He opens his mouth in protest, straining against the silk tie, but is silenced, Jaela moving and riding his face, her pussy tasting so fucking good. “That’s better,” she says, gripping his hair and shutting her eyes.
Of course, the best thrill for Liam comes when he has control of them both, both submitting to him and his whims. He’s big into edging, watching them soar to the highest of highs—but not getting that release until he lets them, whether from him or with each other, so long as he can see when he’s dominate. Sometimes, they’re tied next to each other, sneaking glances, fingertips brushing as he kisses up Jaela’s body, but not leaving Drake without something to moan about, both begging for more.  
Though, working with Drake at the most intimate level… that was a thrill all on its own, both working to deny, but only to bring Jaela the greatest of pleasures. “Please, Drake—”
“Drake,” Liam says, and Drake looks up from his assigned task: eating her out. Liam squeezes her breasts, kissing her neck. “Remember what I told her about begging?” He nods, removing his mouth, standing up but letting his hand fall between her thighs.
Jaela throws her head back in frustration, groaning. “But—”
Liam tightens the silk around her wrists behind her back and pinches a nipple, eyes locking with Drake, both dark with desire, smirks on their lips. Drake steps back from the edge of the bed. “No buts. Knees, now.”
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
Liam and Jaela? Oh god, anywhere and everywhere, really. He can’t pick a favorite, because the high of the thrill—even if they’re in the bed—blocks out everything but his and her pleasure, bodies locked together, smiles on their lips and each other. That’s all that matters. Though, in Miami with her, it was fucking hot to do it on their balcony, ocean spread out all before them, the people dots below.
Drake’s a simply guy, and he just loves picking Jaela up, legs straddled around him, and carrying her right to the bed to make love to her, pressing her against the mattress, sheets tangled up between them. Though, outside has a special place in his heart, hands over hers as she braced against the tree, pine and spring and dirt and her scent filling his nostrils and sending him into overdrive, birds flying away from the noise.
Drake and Liam are weak in the knees for their shower, but they think Jaela doesn’t know. She got off work early, letting down her hair, ready for a shower. “Drake? Liam?” she called, rubbing her eyes. The house was quiet, no surprise at this time of night (and god, she’d kill them if they let the kids stay up late again), except for the shower. Liam’s bed was empty, and so was Drake’s. She paused, glancing around the hallway. Not like their house was small, nor was it big… but where the hell were they?
She approached the master bath—maybe one was taking one in the guest bathroom, too? Hand on the handle, she paused, as new sound breaking through the sound of water. Moans. Loud ones, too. Then, a tumbling of a shampoo bottle—followed by Drake’s and Liam’s all too familiar, groans when they came. Jaela smirked, eyebrows raised. So that’s how come her bottles were always out of order.
When together? Well, that is the bed, much to Drake’s delight. There’s something private and personal and complicated—in all the right ways—when they have a threesome and having it be anywhere else but their home seems… wrong. The townspeople never questioned the two rings on Jaela’s hands, assuming one was a family heirloom (which it was, in a way, from Drake’s grandmother) but bringing their ménage à trois outside of their bedroom, or home, would be… wrong, an unspoken agreement between them the moment Drake kissed her lips and Liam pulled down her jeans, trailing his hands up to slide off her panties before she fell onto hers and Liam’s—no, their, bed.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Honestly, the better question is what doesn’t get them going.
No, seriously.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
The sky’s the limit, and they’ll indulge each others fantasies either one on one, or if they all agree to it, but they have a few NO’s: sadomasochism, anything that draws blood, whipping, and jealously. That’s the biggest one: no jealously. If those feelings arise… then they work it out, however they can.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Jaela’s a spoiled woman. And she can’t wipe the smirk off of her face at the stupid PTO meetings, thinking that a half hour before Liam went down on her right after she put the brownies into tubberware… and it was her night with Drake tonight. “Jaela, what’s your recipe for the brownies again?”
“Oh uh… you know, the usual things?”
And she’s pulled out of her head again, back to the politics of school and drama and avoiding the pointed looks of too many Mary-Sue’s in this small town thinking it was a little odd that Drake was living with them a single man… and that one of her three definitely has his nose, but she never addressed that.
As for Jaela, well, she’s more than willing to drop to her knees at anytime, but they always beat her out for the gift of receiving. Drake, generally, prefers to give and just wants to bury his cock in her, usually, even if he does love coming in her mouth…. Liam is more of a giver, liking to wake her up in the morning with his head between her thighs, but he fucking loves her blowjobs. Liam and Jaela both find it sexy when he’s commanding, hand gripping the back of her hair while she takes all of him in, looking up and never breaking eye contact until he comes, Jaela smirking as his eyes flutter, head rolling back, and letting out that moan she loves so much.
Commanding Liam is gone and replaced with the tender one, asking if that was too much. Jaela wipes her lips and he shudders, holding her close. “It’s never too much, Liam,” she whispers. “I love it,” she pauses, tracing his jaw, eyes brightening. “Though… I would like to try something… if Drake agrees.”
Liam raises his eyebrow, matching her expression. “Pray tell, love.”
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
They’ve gotten their times nailed down to an art form, really. Working around the kid’s schedules is one thing, combined with their different work schedules, but they’re masters of knowing how long things are going to take, depending, of course.
Public is always quick, even if Liam wants it to go on longer. Drake can stay out in the woods for an hour with Jaela. Jaela pretends to not notice their long, ahem, separate showers. But the threesomes? Well, that’s setting up the candles, and exploring each others bodies with care, salt and sweat and heat beneath their lips, not matter how rough it is.
“There’s always times to savor you, love,” Liam says, tracing lines down her curves on one side, Drake on the other, kissing her neck. She needs to get to the fucking bake sale, she didn’t mind playing betty homemaker to keep gossip away, but goddamn, how could she leave them?
“The bake sale though?”
Drake chuckles, turning her cheek, looking deep into her eyes, the intensity from all those years ago still there, even with a few fine wrinkles. Liam’s hand, fingers nimble, run down her body and settle on her clit, rubbing circles, Drake keeping her face turned to him. He takes her lower lip between his teeth, and she shudders in pleasure. “Fuck the bake sale,” he whispers. “Fuck me instead.”
But Liam inserts two fingers into her, her answer lost on Drake’s tongue.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Jaela’s a fan of quickies, and Drake has to roll his eyes when Liam and Jaela disappear in public for ten minutes at a time. “You know,” he hisses when they sit back down in the theatre seat, her hair disheveled. He smooth down a side, smirking, despite his tone. “This isn’t a ball where you can sneak into the closet and pretend your guards don’t notice.”
But Jaela grips Liam’s hand tight, eyes lighting up with the screen at the memory of Liam pressing her against the stall and fucking her senseless, holding her up, muffling their sounds with their lips on each other, fast and hurried. Somebody coughed when they left the stall next to them, but they didn’t care. “The women’s bathroom worked quite well,” she whispers, sliding another hand on Drake’s thigh, squeezing his shaft through the jeans. Liam snickers as Drake shifts, grasping hers, locking eyes. “Maybe next time we can try it?”
Drake gulps, but she sees the blush and flash of desire in the movie light. And indeed, that stall again proved useful, only this time Drake’s hands cupped her breasts through her shirt as he took her from behind, teeth nipping her ear. Another cough, too.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Of fucking course. Jaela thinks fucking in the woods is risky enough, always convinced a bear is going to come out—but her and Drake have done nothing more than scare a few deer and birds. But, anything outside of their NO’s has been tried, thought of, a regular feature, or is on the list of things to do.
Jaela’s current want to do risk?
Fuck at that damn Mary’s house. She’s the one that look at her like she’s a slut when Drake comes around to events—like his child’s soccer game, supporting his and Liam’s—like any father would do. She’s also the one that commented one child looked so peculiar from the others. She should have slapped her there, but instead…
“I got it!” she says grinning between the two. “Now, I don’t care who, but she has this parent-meeting or whatever coming up next month. One of you are coming with me—” They both pale. “And you’re going to fuck me senseless on her newly renovated bathroom counter she won’t shut up about.” Liam’s eyebrows perk up, and Drake’s do too, but she senses his hesitance. She knows him too well.
Jaela approaches and Drake leans back on the couch before she straddles his waist, pressing into him. Drake grits his teeth. “Okay… I’m listening….”
“And I really don’t care if she hears. She can’t insult our child—our children, our life—without facing the consequences. So, anybody in?”
A month later, Drake holds her close, both panting, the gleaming light from the newly renovated bathroom also too much, but all Jaela can focus on is his thrusts, slow and drawn out, hand on the glass. Her nails dig into his back, trying to holding in a cry—but letting out the moan, pulsing as the orgasm spreads throughout her shaking body.
Oh, it’s worth the looks.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
“Fucking A Liam, she’s already came twice from you, I think she’ll sleep just fine tonight…” Drake groans, burying his head in the pillow. He just wants sleep and him and Jaela are still going at it, though, she looks tired too. Drake glances at the clock—it’s almost four and he has work at eight. He could have gone to his room… but something about curling up next to them after a night like tonight was worth the sleepless nights.
“Just a… god, Jaela,” he says as he comes, kissing Jaela before collapsing next to Drake, Jaela chuckling to herself, looking at the two perfect men in her life, skin on skin. Her hand floats over Liam’s body, and he pulls her close, chin on her head. “You’re beautiful.”
“Ditto,” Drake says, and then drifts off. Jaela takes in Liam’s scent, Drake’s not far behind. Oh, how she’d never get tired of nights like these.
Jaela whispers against his chest, “I’m so happy,” before she falls asleep, only to be waken by Drake getting up for work, Liam pulling him close for a moment before Drake comes to her, kissing her cheek, then shoulder goodbye.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Drake doesn’t own any, he doesn’t care for them. He’d much rather fuck them with him and only him, taking pleasure that only he can make them feel.
Liam used to share the same sentiments as Drake, until Jaela introduced him to first her vibrator, and how fucking sexy it was when she used it on herself as she gave him head. Like, hell. “Fuck, Jaela… that’s hot.” She stops for a moment, lips against the tip of his cock, the breeze of the Atlantic blowing across their faces, high on their balcony, happy to have found a place where they could finally relax and enjoy their escape.
“I thought you told me you were the only one to make my cum from now on?” Liam smirks, dragging a finger down her lips, parting them again.
“We’ve only begun the night, my Queen. Now, continue.”
So, he has a small collection that only him and Jaela use, tucked away, Drake never getting curious as to what goes on those nights, honestly.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Jaela thought she teased bad in Cordonia, separately drawing them in and out with a flick of her wrist or the longing glance out of the corner of her eye.
Oh, how she proved them—and herself—wrong the moment her and Drake finally caved and she had not one, but two, pairs eyes filled with lust on her when she bent over, making sure they saw the red thong. It was something about an audience that upped her teasing game, just waiting till one of them would cave—thought, it was the best when Drake and Liam would nod, then end the game with one at each set of lips.
Drake doesn’t mind teasing, he liked it more in Cordonia, if he was being honest. Something about pretending to merely be just their friend in Washington made it hard to grab her ass or whisper in her ear everything he’d like to do to her in the grocery story. He didn’t want to attention of the nosey locals, nor did he want their kids to think that it was wrong, what they were doing. So, he lets Abdi to the teasing (except when they’re in bed together, Drake confessing everything he wants to do with her, drawing each stroke, lick, suck, or bite out until she’s begging to come over and over).
If Jaela plays hard, so does Liam. Touching her, whispering in her ear, promising all the positions they can do in a timespan of a PTO meeting, in the closet… yet, only leaving her wet and him hard, Jaela tearing off his clothes—and she literally made a tear once—the moment they get home, teasing done and the real game beginning.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
There was a reason why Drake couldn’t help but get off to Liam and Jaela, you know. Between their moaning and dirty talk, could anybody blame him, really?
Drake, however, is pretty quiet, preferring to listen to how he makes them feel over his own voice, contained within his throat and only being brought out here and there—sending chills through Jaela and Liam when he does make loud, guttural sounds because that usually means they’re in the middle of something intense, special, and only between them.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Jalea bites her lip, leaning back against the pillows, arms propping herself up. Drake and Liam stare at each other, and the tension—the nerves—in the room twists her stomach, just watching them, one hand on her and the other on each others arms. She can’t tell if it’s the alcohol or the sheer fact that this might be a turning point… for everything… with them.
They had three threesomes before tonight, both lavishing her with attention, sure their hands touching each other on her body, but never a kiss, no touching of each other, focusing on her, and what kinds of sounds she made under their joint effort.
Oh, but tonight… tonight was different. Like she didn’t notice the looks they shared in the heat of the moment—or hell, even back in Cordonia. “You can kiss,” she said and they snapped their attention to her… before going back to each other. Liam’s hand slide down Drake’s side and he shivered, glancing between Liam and Jaela, breathing quick.
“I…”
“Please,” Jaela says, sitting up and removing their hands. “Can’t you feel it? Haven’t you felt it?” She gets on her knees, and they still don’t look at her, Drake touching Liam’s cheek with a gentleness she only saw reserved for herself.
“You won’t be…?” Breathes Liam, now gripping Drake’s neck, their faces closer. Her hearts swells. What else could she feel but utter love for these men… and if they wanted to explore, who was she stop them? They all loved each other with everything they had.
Shaking her head, Jaela takes both of their dicks in each hand, both taking an intake of breath. Still, they stared, even as she began to pump, eyeing them each. “Never. I love you both. You love each other… why not… see what happens? We are sleeping together as one now. What’s holding you ba—”
And finally, fucking finally, they kiss, Jaela not knowing who’s lips touched the others first, Liam’s hands in Drake’s hair and Drake’s around his back. Jaela, quietly sat back and watched the show, letting their desperate, clinging moment come to fruition—until it turned to her, bringing her in center stage once more.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Drake, above average (around 6 ½) and thick, not too much… but enough to make Jaela feel so fucking full that she could cry—and sometimes, she does, from the pleasure. “Abdi, Abdi—are you okay?”
“Just hormonal… and because you feel so good. Don’t stop, please.”
Liam’s slightly bigger, around 7 and thinner, in the slightest. Honestly, Jaela doesn’t care—nor do either of the men—because the competition is over and sometimes, they get to fuck her at the same time—ass and pussy—and Jaela’s convinced she’ll never walk straight again,
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Liam’s higher than both of them, Jaela’s higher than Drake’s, and Drake’s the least of the three—what? He likes cuddling, too—but all are high, passion still running high from their life in Cordonia. Life doesn’t always allow for sex as much as Liam wants, but goddamn if he doesn’t fuck one or both of them four times a week at the least.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Pillowtalking is fine, and Drake and Jaela like it to some extent, though they tend to fall asleep quickly or have sex one more time before they pass out, but Liam is the true king of pillowtalking after sex. To a fault, too.
Legs all tangled together, cool summer air blowing in through the window, drying their sweat and cooling warm, flush bodies, in a heap, light kisses and touches being exchanged between all three, there’s no difference, no matter, with the love they all have, her two rings sparkling in the moonlight. The kisses slow... conversation ebbs… except for Liam, still talking. Drake and Jaela don’t even know anymore.
“Liam…” Drake mumbles, head buried in Jaela’s shoulder.
“Liam…” Jaela follows, taking his chin and turning it to her, Jaela and Drake’s brown eyes focused on his. He stops, eyebrow raised.
“Yeah? I mean, did you hear about—”
“We need—” Jaela starts, but Drake interjects.
“We need some fucking sleep.”
Liam’s looks shocked, but then chuckles, arm lying across Jaela and hand resting on Drake. Maybe he did talk too much, but to be fair, sex on nights like tonight energized him. The world, full of possibility in the little corner of the world they found to be as one. What could he say? It was perfect. Just so perfect, their bodies entwined like it was always meant to be.
Note: Yep, poly AU Drake x Jaela x Liam are definitely going to be making a proper appearance at some point in time. Hope you enjoyed this little AU I’m setting up for them. Bonus points if you can put the backstory piece together.
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Damn Dannie (The Prolog) Pt. 1
So there’s this this girl I met at my 3rd high school back in 2015. To keep her ID on the DL, I’ll just refer to her as Dannie. Now, Dannie and I weren’t really the best of friends during my spell at that school. We were cool with each other, we just didn’t have much to talk about back then. At the time, all she was to me was the cute girl with an afro from math class, that laughed at all my jokes.
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Due to unforeseen circumstances, I was forced to leave my 3rd high school at the end of my first year there. (LMAO, that’s an entire story for another day) This meant I had to leave my closest friends behind and find a new school. After I left, Dannie was one of the few girls from that school I kept in contact with, simply because I dug her energy and thought she was pretty cool. We started texting occasionally then before I knew it, we were texting every day. Turns out we had loads to talk about.
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The more we spoke, the more we found out we had in common. The more we had in common, the more we bonded. In December of that same year, we bumped into each other at some party I remember vague details about. What I do remember, is that I spent close to no time with Dannie that day and night. For some reason she had to leave the party super early. And that, ladies and gentlemen is the last time I saw her in 2015.
You know how they say "time flies when you're having fun", what they don’t tell you is that time is constant. 10 seconds has always been 10 seconds, an hour hasn’t ever been 30 minutes, it’s always been an hour. It FEELS like time flies when we have something to give our attention to or distract us. It FEELS like time drags its feet when we’re not doing anything. Well, feelings are unreliable. That’s what this story is about.
The first half of 2016 was a drag. My parents were keeping my phone from me and I was a full time border at my new school (which was on the other side of the country). I lost contact with a lot of my “close” and mutual friends because of this. After a wack 1st term, I finally got to go home for term break and get my phone back. I reached out to some of my friends from my previous school. Got back in contact with all the people I missed, except for Dannie. I immediately met up with a couple of the homies but our social interaction was all foggy now. I didn’t feel like I could be myself around them anymore. They were still the same people though. I just felt like everything was different now, that everyone had changed. Word got around that I was back home and my phone was jumpin'. A couple days after I got my phone back, I got a text draped in heart emojis with the only syllable in my name stetched out. 👇
"Laaaaaaaaaaars 😊💕💕❤❤👅💦"
Off the bat I knew it couldn't be one of my bros. It took me a while but I figured out it was Dannie (my bestie did some research). I kid you not, in that very moment I felt happier than I had felt all year. We got all caught up over the phone and our texting patterns picked up where we left off.
Next thing I knew, we were now 3 quarters into 2016. It had been roughly 11 months since I switched schools and 9 months since I last saw her. We started hanging out more and making plans to see each other every chance we could.
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Our plans were always overly ambitious and flopped 9 times out of 10. 8 times out of 10 it was my fault though. We’d plan large get-togethers and not even show up. We were a pair of wild cards, the unpredictability between us kept the friendship dynamics fresh. Dannie was mad extroverted, she always wanted to go out and have a good time partying and turning up. I’m not really into all of that, I outgrew it all in 2016. I’d only slide through because it meant I got to spend time with her. I was low-key about being introverted so she had no idea how much I’d prefer staying home or going to a quiet place just to hang out and talk. That’s when I realized I really fw her. (If ever I leave the comfort of my home to come see you, just know you mean a lot to me.)
She tried her best to compromise whenever she could so it wasn’t completely one sided. I'll take the fall for not being open and missing out on a lot chill sessions. I get drained like, 10 minutes into most social gatherings outside my inner circle anyway.
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I don’t remember how it happened, but at some point down the line we became friends with benefits. Matter of fact, I don’t remember us having an official title. I had her saved as her government name (with a heart at the end) on my phone and she probably had me saved as zaddy or something corny like Larshmellow (Yikes). Ion know. We were just going with the flow, which I ironically ended up drowning in. Wish I could’ve caught a break, instead I caught feelings.
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For some reason Dannie and I never got down to defining the relationship. This had the both of us messed up because we had skewed expectations from one another. It FELT like I was expecting too much from her, while she was expecting too little from me (or vice versa). I went into the new year of 2017 with high hopes and expectations for us not knowing our ‘situationship’ was about to capsize and sink.
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2017 Was our matric (senior graduation) year which meant we didn’t have access to all the free time we had the year before. This meant it was up to us to manufacture and free up as much time to text, call and see each other. We could barely manage to make time for each other when we had access to it, how were we going to make it work when we didn’t? That paired with the long distance from one another (a 4 hour commute) created an emotional and physical barrier between us. Communication wasn’t the issue, the issue was getting rid of the static and maintaining a stable connection from afar. I was adamant to make it work, because I felt like she was worth it.
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Despite my best efforts, all we had was our telephonic connection. Which started becoming more and more inconsistent. We were slowly growing distant from one another. It was paralyzing witnessing us grow in the wrong direction, it felt like there wasn't a single thing I could do about it. All I was able to do was watch us become strangers. This was a terrible start to the year. After weeks of inconsistent texting we stopped altogether. In my head, the silence felt more like a pregnant pause instead of what it actually was, an awkward silence. The muteness was infrequently interrupted by a "Hey" or "hi", which barely led to anything. Although it stung on my side, I understood that this show called life had to keep going. So I went about living my life and she went about living hers. We didn't speak for a month or so. It felt like we were done.
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During 1st quarter every year, a select few high schools in Eswatini/Swaziland come together to host a competitive sports event among themselves. Something like the teenage Olympics. I think all in all about 1000 teenagers show up every year. Over the years it’s become extremely competitive. Aside from the actual competition, the event has turned into a hub for stuntastic behavior, alcohol + drug abuse and obnoxiously loud music. Picture a sports themed music festival without a stage or artists performing.
I had no plans to go that year. I was actually in a studio right next to the stadium on the day the event was being held, with Young Grixxly (look him up, his music is really good!) and a mutual friend of ours. They wanted to check out who was all over there, I wanted to head home but ended up at the event by the power of peer pressure. We were uber late and couldn’t get in, so we were just awkwardly standing by the gate from the outside looking in. We started seeing familiar faces pass by with a handful of them coming by to greet us and give us play by plays of everything that had been happening since they got there. A bunch of people tried sneaking us in too. It didn’t take much time for me to lose interest in the whole thing. I zoned out and started contemplating my early escape back to the crib, right when I recognized a familiar voice repeatedly calling out my name from the other side of the gate. Y’all wouldn’t believe who it was.
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Imma drop some unreleased music on my audiomack if y’all guess this correctly.
Was it…
A) Dannie
B) Vanessa from Phineas and Ferb 
C) Samuel L Jackson
D) Thanos
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To be continued.
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istrys · 6 years
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Death and Rebirth
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Areus gasped out with a wet cough, spilling blood and spit along the uneven stones beneath him. The icy hand of death no longer gripped his body, but merely hovered over him like an indecisive card player; the uncertainty of his surroundings only furthered his desperate need to survive. Areus ran his trembling hand across his chest- soaked and sticky with what had to be his own blood. He’d survived wounds far more grievous before, stabbed deeper and closer to his heart; with a simple binding spell and a lot of liquor he could endure, but this time it was different. The Holy Light intervened for all the wrong reasons. Without the shadows bending to his will, the old wounded soldier was blind and helpless to treat his own injuries, and now time was his greatest enemy.
The crisp breeze indicated early morning, but with most of his senses dulled, he couldn’t be sure. First he tried crawling to something stable enough to force him on his feet, but his legs wouldn’t budge, and the cold weight spreading over his chest and into his limbs made any sort of movement an agonizing uphill battle. His fingertips clawed into stone and dirt and snow with all his might, nails scraping against mortar from a fallen wall, threatening to tear off with every forceful yank. Bit by bit every attempt tore at the flesh of his fingers. He needed to make it out of the Bloodsworn Vanguard ruins and onto a main road but was bleeding out far faster than he had ever imagined. The man managed to patch together what was left of his shredded arm with what little mana he had left yet even with two halfway decent extremities, it wasn’t really working out for him.
Thoughts of the past flooded his mind as he struggled to lift himself up, crawling desperately with what little strength he had left for survival.
“Ash… I’m sorry for doing what I must… I plan on being back…- -Being with you makes me smile and gives me a feeling that I c- -I really enjoyed spending time with you toda- -My heart will always be yours, as long as you want it.”
Areus managed to wrap his fingers around a rock with some weight to it; immediately he struck himself in the forehead one, two, three times, trying to keep himself conscious through the pain. His mind drifted to blissful instances of memories with his loved one. Letters he once sent her. This was a distraction allowing him to succumb to his fate- she was already dead. The thought was ever so enticing, so sweet and sickening. To be allowed to die only to be at her side again yet… he couldn’t stop thinking about those who were still alive. His son, his brother, his niece, his nephew, his sister-in-law… too many people to let down yet no matter how much he grit his teeth he couldn’t fix his predicament. Everything seemed to slow down and his movements felt so sluggish. If only he could have one more sip of his flask. If only he could have one last drag of his pipe.
“Ah… I could… really… go for a… drink…” he rasped in between breaths as the light in his dull glazed eyes dimmed like the sun drifting beneath the horizon. As he slowly closed his eyes, the distant sounds of feet pattering about barely caught his attention. The voice of a child whispered near his ears, likely no older than five or six; if a child that young was out here, their parents wouldn’t be too far behind. A surge of hope coursed through his stiffening body at the prospect of a traveler’s caravan finding him. “Who… ‘s… the-...?” his dry voice cut out. More little voices chirped and whispered amongst themselves, until it felt like he was surrounded by a small crowd. “Ge… he… hel-...” He used the last of his strength to speak, but his jaw was beginning to tighten shut as well. It felt like he was laying there for the children’s spectacle for years. Eventually he gave up trying to speak, and slowly rested his head into the grass to accept his fate. Not until heavier footsteps approached, not until the sensation of innumerable tiny hands grasping at his clothes, and not until the whisper of a foreign incantation did Areus find the resolve to open his dulled eyes again.
“Erana-dora isil,” The voice of a matured woman gently spoke. “You’re in good company.”
He felt the weight of his body wash away like the tide, his spirit rising off the ground to float suspended in the air; the agony of dying was gone, and so too were the voices. Areus felt free, liberated by the shackles of his once many burdens. He saw Azeroth again with his own eyes - a sensation he never knew he missed so badly. The splashing of vibrant colors of the trees caused the elf to choke on his own tears. The higher he rose the more he saw, until he could see the glimmering towers of Silvermoon City to the north, and the deep forests of the Hinterlands to the south. His thoughts then returned to Ashelin, and everything he would tell her when he saw her again in the afterlife; tears of joy rolled down his cheeks as he gazed at the first rays of light from the rising sun to the east.
A flash of light quickly covered the horizon and forced Areus to shield his eyes. When the blinding light dimmed he was able to lower his hand to gaze at a giant blue mushroom cloud a mile off the coast; it was the single largest mana bomb explosion he had ever seen, perhaps the largest anyone had ever seen. The sonic boom that reverberated away from ground zero ripped toward the continent and heaved blazing trees out of the ground. Within moments Quel’Thalas was engulfed in blue flames, and Areus was helpless to stop it. He screamed out in horror at the searing winds rushing over Silvermoon City, toppling its towers and searing the streets and walls black. Thoughts of his family crying out seconds before turning to nothing more than ash silhouettes against the explosion filled him with raw and absolute dread. He couldn’t hear their screams this far over the carnage, but he knew what it would sound like; a thousand voices screeching at the top of their lungs from the searing heat, then silence. He looked down to see the land reduced to ash and dirt, with the flames devouring the once beautiful Eversong Woods. Silvermoon City, the Amber Glade, the Ghostlands, all of it - gone in an instant.
A deep guttural roar caused his heart to run cold. Out from the boiling oceans a gigantic mountain of flesh, tendrils and teeth arose, seemingly uninjured yet enraged. The nameless Old God let loose its maddening wrath, coughing forth an army of faceless aberrations that clamored over the glassed shores to feast on anything or anyone that managed to survive. Even worse, it writhed and twisted its massive body, turning the very air around its mass a putrid black with noxious fumes and accursed magic. Within moments Areus watched a once beautiful land he called home for centuries completely obliterated by his own people, and further desecrated by the sleeping nightmares rising from the depths of the sea. On the other side of the scorched continent another Old God popped out of the churning waves, then another, and then another. Without a doubt, it was the end of the Sun’raels, the end of the Sin’dorei, the end of Azeroth.
Then he fell. Like a meteor reentering the atmosphere, Areus fell spiraling and twisting against the heat that seared his bones. He screamed out in agony while the blackened earth rose up to catch him, fearing what the warring Old Gods would do with his soul, and the souls of his kin, once they captured him. He wanted to rise up into paradise and walk with Ashelin for all time, but this madness would only be the start of his eternal torment. He fell into the cloud of fumes and choked on blinding spores, which filled his lungs with poison and his heart with maddening hatred; he grew swollen with malice and was bursting at the seams with a bloodlust so ripe and pure he forgot what happiness, compassion, and love felt like. Areus was ripped into a million pieces the instant he splattered against the ground, but his last thoughts were of dying over and over again, until either the Old Gods died of old age, or until the end of time.
When he opened his eyes again, a familiar darkness clouded his vision. His entire body ached like every inch of his body was impaled by needles, and when he tried to move, agony cut deep into his very bones. “Be still.” The voice from earlier spoke, causing his ears to twitch. “Recovering from the brink of death takes a toll on one’s body.” Areus opened his glazed eyes to see the face of the woman speaking, but his beloved sight was gone again; the Holy Light still lingered in his body as well, making her shadowy silhouette flicker erratically. “Let me know if you can feel this.” A sharp ache suddenly began throbbing in his wrist, flooding his head with the bitter memories of his brother.
Alucieus stabbed him. His own kin. His own brother. For the longest time they were rivals, polar opposites where one basked in the power of the Holy Light, while the other delved into the forbidden secrets of the Void; yet they were always there when they needed each other, always ready to save the other’s life, because family was more important to them than anything. Everything changed when Alucieus chopped off Areus’ hand, lifted him up by the throat, and ran his gladius into his chest. The last thing he remembered before blacking out the first time, was the hard thud from dropping onto the ground, and the heavy footsteps of his brother leaving him to bleed out and die. “Augh...nn-!” His throat was as dry as it could be.
“Here…” The frantic silhouette of her form drew closer with a pungent stench now biting at the tip of his nose. “Drink.” Areus barely had a choice in the matter, feeling a hand clasp at his jaw while she forcefully poured the foul contents into his mouth. For a while he coughed and sputtered, but eventually he was able to get at least some of it down his throat while the rest either sat in his mouth or slipped out from the corners of his lips. It was the most wretched slime he had ever tasted.
Yet despite the sudden urge to vomit, the room around him finally began to settle down. He was able to get a clearer image of his surroundings even with the Holy Light still stinging in his chest; something about that sludge she forced down his throat also helped calm the sporadic silhouettes that surrounded him. The woman in question was clearly a Nightborne, which only brought more questions than answers. She was stitching his swollen hand back onto his wrist while humming a hauntingly melancholy tune, as foreign magic enveloped her fingers. At least twenty children watched them with varying interest, but he couldn’t tell what race they were with their handmade masks covering their faces, each depicting some sort of animal or monster likely straight out of their wild imaginations; they often whispered amongst themselves, occasionally pointing at him before their giggling picked back up again. One child stood out among the rest, however. He sat away from the other children, and closest to the older woman; he wore no mask, revealing a leathery and decrepit face that seemed half-rotten- an undead child. “Where… am I…?”
“Your new home.” The woman quickly answered, gently tugging at the thin string to tighten another stitch. Areus didn’t like the ominous sound of that; he had no intention of being this woman’s prisoner.
“I should…” Areus started, gulping dryly as images of Ashelin cuddled up against his chest interrupted his thoughts. “... I should be dead.”
“You were.” The woman turned to look at him for a moment before continuing her stitchwork. “I brought you back.”
Areus stiffened as the ache shot up his arm again. He didn’t want to show weakness in front of this stranger if possible. “Why…?” the man asked dryly.
“Why?” She indignantly repeated. “Did Lord Augustus Sun’rael teach you to give up that easily? I brought you back because your story doesn't end with such a meaningless death at the hands of your corrupted brother. To let your talents go to waste would be an affront to your family. A crime to Azeroth.”
He reluctantly laid still. Whether or not he had a choice didn’t matter- the fact that this voice invoked the name of his father meant that they knew much more about the lineage of his family than anyone else. Neither he nor his brother spoke of the patriarch of their clan, they both strived to further the Sun’rael name in their own methods yet somehow this stranger was acquainted with their father, a figure both the brothers detested.
“Your family still needs you.” The woman continued, catching his attention again. “Your sister-in-law especially. She is in a dark place right now… almost as dark as yours.”
“My brother, is he-?”
“Dead?” She pulled one last string and his hand was finally connected with his wrist. “All done. Try to move your hand for me.” Areus was at a loss of words, but he obeyed all the same; agony rocked through his arm, and he was barely able to move a single finger. “That’s what I was afraid of. It looks like it will take a long time before you can control your hand again… but it will never be as it once was.” She watched his face closely while she gently put his hand down. The children continued their private conversations, all except the undead child, who continued to stare at him in morbid silence. “I never gave you my name… I am Aodin. Aodin Umbrose.”
“Well, Aodin,” Areus spoke with labored breaths. “If you're not willing to let me die, then I must be with the rest of my family.”
“Of course.” She seemed unusually complacent. “You are free to leave once your debt to me is paid.”
Areus narrowed his blackened eyes. “I hoped my sincere gratitude was enough, heh… so how much are you blackmailing me for?”
Aodin didn't seem amused. “I don't want your coin.”
“Well you're a lovely looking woman, but I can't provide that eith-"
“I want a treasure from your special vault.” The Witch didn't let him finish that thought. “A grimoire that predates the Black Empire… the Myurkodn.”
Areus blinked at the Shal’dorei for a few moments before chuckling lightly. “I don't know what you're talking about. Anything I can't sell on the market, I toss out with my trash. Ancient books aren't exactly high on demand.”
“You're an adequate swordsman, but a terrible liar.” Aodin leaned back in her chair to judge him with glimmering silver eyes. “I know the Aqir took it with them when they fled north to create Azjol-Nerub. I know you and your brother found it buried under a mountain of insect corpses when you plundered their desecrated kingdom. And I know the Keepers of Shadow tossed it into the very back of their vault, fearing its power.” She paused to let Areus silently question just how much she really knew about his past. “You and Syrahn Bloodfeather are the only two Keepers of Shadow left. I can’t get anywhere near the Glade Queen, and even if I could, she wouldn’t help me. The power stored in that book should not be abandoned. It should not be forgotten.”
His newly reattached hand twitched slightly and quivered, blood slowly working its way through the veins that had been stagnated. Holy light bled into the arteries as they began the long and arduous process to mend. The man’s murky eyes settled on her, “What do you aim to do with it then?”
“Use the knowledge against the true enemies of Azeroth.” She sighed, tapping her elongated fingernails against the arms of her chair. “Surely you’ve foreseen it; the Old Gods rising from the depths to conquer the world once again.”
The small scars etched into the blind man’s eyelids lit up with a soft golden hue before turning to a deep purple tone. The were the shapes of various runes on a much smaller scale had been inscribed into his flesh. The shades of gray and charcoal became a bit more clear and he was able to distinguish forms in tones of black. “Fine. If I get you the Miur Codex, my debt is paid in full?”
“Myurkodn.” Aodin corrected, as the friendly demeanor returned to her voice. “Get me that grimoire and you’ll never owe me another favor again.”
“It sounds like you make out much better than I do in this deal. A weapon to change the fate of Azeroth? No thanks. Like you said, only I and Syrahn know where the vault left by the Keepers of Shadows lies. There’s one way for you to get what you want and I am it. I want three more conditions.”
The Witch shifted in her chair, but kept her composure. “Speak them.”
“One. I want my pipe back filled with tobacco, and the matches with them. Two. A bottle of whiskey. And three. Undo these gods-damned straps.” he gruffly responded. A cruel grin spread wide across her face while she stared through him, clearly unsure if this was some sort of strange jest or not. With a snap of her fingers the undead child hopped off the nearby chair and waddled over to his side; another snap of her fingers and the shackles vanished into smoke. The boy held his mottled grey hands aloft to reveal his pipe.
“You are a strange one,” Aodin sighed, rising from her seat. “But I am glad we could reach an agreement.” A tiny spark of shadowflame flickered off her pointed index finger, offering him a light.
Areus shifted to a seated position on the table, his legs dangling off as he leaned onto his right hand, his left cradled delicately in front of his chest. “I didn’t know you would be this agreeable.” he puffed at his pipe a couple times, “I’m going to have to change the deal to two bottles of whiskey. Or bourbon. Doesn’t matter to me.” he responded casually between puffs. Of course, the alcohol, the smokes and the shackles were inconsequential. All would have been met to his fill in time, yet he was one for immediate gratification. “I’m happy enough with this deal. I’m alive. You’ve served your purpose to the Void and I get to continue mine. And maybe even help my family a bit longer. If it’s darkness you seek, then I’m more than happy to facilitate your request. Just don’t regret it when it’s more than you bargained for.” he offered her a smirk after exhaling a large plume of smoke, “I didn’t.”
The children surrounding Areus scampered off in random directions within the strange house as Aodin continued to watch him take long steady drags of his pipe. “I know the risks and I have safeguards in place to prevent… another disaster. But, I’m afraid this won’t be so easy…” She turned to open a chest he didn’t notice before along the ground. Slowly she raised another flask - this one holding the heart so inky black it hardly looked real; it was still beating. “This belongs to you, Areus Sun’rael. When your brother stabbed you in the chest, he filled your heart with the Holy Light. If I placed it back into you as it is now, the Light would kill you from the inside out. I’ll need time to purge it before I can operate on you again… and it serves as a valuable bargaining chip to ensure you keep your word.”
“You don’t need a bargaining chip. We’ve already made the deal, have we not? I’d like to think we’re both bound to our word as we are bound to the Void. Not like those little void-kiddies running around in the Alliance playing with things they don’t understand.” He took another puff from the pipe before clearing his throat as a wince overcame his face, clearly still in pain.
A shake of Areus’ head came before a response, “Rather than a bargaining chip or a tool for your blackmail, make sure you’ve got that ready for when I come back. I won’t be long.” Areus pointed with the pipe. “You can be sure that when I do come back, and you don’t hold up your half of the deal, you’ll die along with me and that grimoire will be in ashes the same as you as well as anyone within a mile radius.” a sigh came before he took another long drag from his pipe, letting the smoke escape with an exaggerated breath. “In the meantime, what do you have pumping my blood, anyway?” he asked, perking a brow while his right hand reached to adjust the pipe.
“Nothing. This is a forbidden incantation the Gurubashi Empire used for their most zealous warriors in wars long forgotten.” The Witch calmly started before she began to casually walk toward an empty wall of the room. “I won’t bore you with the details, but you’re essentially undead until I put your heart back into your body. The time one has before the heart dies by itself varies from days to weeks… so I wouldn’t get sidetracked if I were you.”
When she reached toward the wall with her left hand, the painted nails on each of her fingers stretched out for several inches. The wood quivered and melted by her touch like it was made of wax, until a gaping hole large enough to walk in appeared. “Once you’ve claimed my prize, go to the Scarlet Monastery. I’ll be waiting there for you.”
An angered smirk came to his visage before he raised the mask resting along his neck to cover his expression. “Fine.” he surged holy magic through his left hand abruptly. He took note of the fact that he did not feel pain from the Light, meaning that he hadn’t quite fullycrossed the bounds into undeath just yet, “You’re going to have to help me with this hand if you want me to brave the traps you won’t dare.”
Aodin perked a brow but stared at his hand for a few moments in silence. “And what exactly are you asking of me?”
“You expect me to believe you can tear someone’s heart out, keep them ‘alive’- I use the term loosely-, stitch them back together, have a gaggle of undead children about, know about hidden ancient grimoires from a long lost kingdom, know forgotten incantations from foreign empires and you can’t help me get my hand working better? If nothing else, it’s pretty fuckin’ painful. And you’re partly at fault for my prolonged misery.” He state matter-of-factly, “You threaten me with my life but who’s to say I wouldn’t have rather joined my beloved and, maybe my brother, in the afterlife? Probably not that asshole for a little while, he did cut my hand off and stab me in the chest. Give me something to work off of here, woman. And where’s that bottle of booze? Fuck, I’ll take rubbing alcohol at this point.” Areus spoke plainly, taking another drag from his pipe as he gave her a deadpanned gaze.
“My you’re a chatty one when you’re excited.” The Witch snapped her fingers, compelling the undead child to step forward with that slender vial filled with a midnight blue liquid. “But you have the details wrong. Only one child - this child - is undead. I hope arcwine will slate your thirst for the time being.”
A shrug was given in response as he winced for a moment. His condition seemed unstable and wore on him before he nodded slowly, “Whatever works. Something. Anything. The voices are coming back and my wrist is killing me.” He haphazardly reached for the bottle, sloshing the contents as he pulled it toward him, keeping his mask lowered just enough to keep the pipe in his mouth and drink straight from the bottle. After a few long gulps he took an exaggerated breath. Areus looked to the Witch before opening his mouth to speak again, paused, and then brought the bottle up to his lips again before devouring the rest of the wine.
He cleared his throat as he tossed the bottle over his shoulder for them to hear it shatter on the ground behind him. “Okay. I guess that’s as good as it’s going to get. See you at the monastery, girly.” The Shadow Priest gave her a wink, “Won’t be long. Make sure you’re there. The vault isn’t far off from it.” A few steps toward the exit and tendrils of shadow reached out to consume him into nothingness while he disappeared from sight.
Aodin stood in her home in silence for a few moments before turning to look down at the forsaken child. “What do you think? Shall we kill him once he returns with my prize?” The child glanced up at the Witch with cold yellow eyes, but said nothing.
“Fair enough.”
Collaborated with @areussunrael
Mentions: @k-sunrael
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xseildnasterces · 3 years
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power over me.
Okay. Buckle in. It's going to be a long one. Like, a really long one. I am finally beginning to feel some sort of normal after getting my second covid vaccine on Thursday. It’s been a rough few days. My body has just been completely exhausted, constantly aching and in pain and I’ve had zero energy to do anything. As with the first vaccine I never even felt it go in, and so as I was feeling pretty fine once it was done, I went straight to the office. I was lifting and moving boxes around and was having no issues at all. I got home and my arm was starting to ache, but just the normal kind of ache you get with any vaccine, so I assumed I wasn’t going to have the fly symptoms other people had had. But oh my, was I wrong. Later that evening my body just gave up. I was incredibly exhausted, my arm ached worse than any ache I’d ever had, but what’s more, I was also in a huge amount of pain. I could not move my arm even an inch without being in extreme pain – to the point of constantly saying ‘ouch’ out loud to myself. I tried to go to bed early but that didn’t work out. The pain was too much, and I couldn’t sleep at all. I was exhausted, but sleep would not come. I found myself wandering around the apartment in the early hours of the morning trying to cool down because I was burning up and felt like I had a fever. I curled up on the sofa for about an hour as it was cooler in there and eventually dragged myself back into bed at 5am for a few hours sleep before getting up for work. I did zero work all day. I had a morning call with J and C for which I stayed in bed. The call certainly cheered me up. I cannot express how happy those calls make me. I miss the two of them so much and cannot wait to head back to Frankfurt and see them at some point in the hopefully not to distant future. We just laugh so much about everything and I feel very lucky for the relationship I have with them both. I slept a lot of the day, or at least tried to, and lazed around trying to feel somewhat alive which I didn’t. I believe the state I was in was also due to the fact my allergies were awful the day of my vaccine, and I also started my period. Not the best combination. So yeah, I felt horrendous. Yesterday I started to feel a little better, but my body still wasn’t back to normal. I hope today it will be better.
Allergies: before moving to the US I had never had any issues whatsoever with seasonal allergies, yet since moving here I have apparently developed them. Some days I wake up with sore eyes, a running nose that also feels completely congested and just all round feeling a bit shit. I imagine it must be a different type of pollen here that bothers me which we don’t have or have as much of in Europe perhaps. I don’t know. I’m not an expert, but it certainly seems weird that I have developed hay fever since moving here. I spent most of last summer back in the UK so I wonder whether I just didn’t spend enough time here last year to experience the new allergies. This year however will be different, so I guess I better start taking that Claritin!
Periods: Oddly enough, after a few months of no periods whatsoever and starting to panic, things seem to have reached some form of normality. I say some form, as I also had a month when I had two periods within two weeks which really wasn’t great. Regardless, things seem somewhat normal for me anyway. Period pain and cramps seems to have gotten so much worse recently, but more on periods and that later. I have a new major love for period underwear. It’s genuinely one of my best ever purchases and I will never, ever go back to disposable period products. If you want to make your period more bearable, I would wholeheartedly recommend period underwear above anything else!
Work: I had my usual one-to-one meeting at work on Monday, and as always, I was filled with complete and utter anxiety. It was fine and nothing wrong whatsoever. In fact, I actually left feeling really positive which makes a change. I am trying hard to not get too excited or think too much of it as my boss can have one thought one day and say she never said it the following day, but regardless, we were talking about my current task. When I first started in my current job there was an absolutely huge backlog of requests for researchers. I’m talking, requests dating back to 2017, all of which needed to be reviewed, digitised, quality checked, second reviewed and pushed to the catalogue and sent out to researchers. My initial task was to eliminate the backlog. Things were going well, and then the pandemic hit and we had to work from home. Of course, my job is very hands-on. I need to have access to the records to do most of my tasks, and so the backlog got bigger and bigger. Once I was deemed ‘essential staff’, myself and my consultants working on the digitisation were able to go onsite to work on the reference requests. We have been chipping away for months and are making good progress. However, archival reference is not my thing. I do it because I have to, but my love for my job lies in archival processing… something that I was under the impression I was initially hired for. Archival processing and description is my jam! And I cannot wait to do it again. My boss mentioned in my meeting that she felt I was not able to use my skillsets well whilst working on reference and that she did not think I was working to my full ability. I 100% agreed. I could do my current task with my eyes shut. It’s not a challenge, and more than anything it’s a necessity rather than anything else… partly because there is only one of me. One archivist for a whole organisation. And a huge international organisation at that. She discussed with me that her plans were that once the backlog was under control (it will never be complete as requests are a continuous part of our job), I would be working on processing. That is what she wants me to do and it was never her plan for me to be solely on reference. This has purely happened due to my supervisor retiring and the inability of our upper management to hire anyone else in her place (the job advert hasn’t even been sent out yet – so who on earth knows when I will no longer be a lone ranger)… Regardless, I left the meeting feeling a little giddy and happy. Perhaps I won’t be finding myself leaving in October this year after all… but let’s not jump the gun just yet.
ICA – This week we had a three hour(!) meeting from 7am regarding the ICA, the NP programme and everything else related to the current goings-on of the organisation. It was a really great opportunity to sit in on a meeting of many important and influential people in the archive world, and I felt grateful to be there. The topic on the Congress was brought up, and we were told a final decision of whether it will go ahead in October would take place on Friday with the meeting of the ICA Executive Board. As of yet, we have not been informed of the outcome. I’m nervous, and I’m sad and frustrated. I feel like I already know the answer will be that it will either be going ahead virtually or not at all, and I’m just so sad that that will be the case. I have wanted to attend the congress/conference for as long as I can remember in terms of my archival education and career, and to be awarded the chance to go and then have it stripped away from me (or so it feels), because of a bloody pandemic is just infuriating. I understand that there are much worse things going on in the world and I am lucky to even have a job and live somewhere that has enabled me to get the vaccine before many others, but at the end of the day everything is relative and I think I am allowed to be upset and mad about what covid is taking away from me, regardless of this smaller scale. I worked hard for this, like really hard and it would have been a significant and landmark experience in my career.
Therapy – Solo therapy this week led me down a road I have very rarely opened up about to anyone. I guess I always felt that because I was never ‘officially’ diagnosed with an eating disorder, I shouldn’t really say that I have had one. However, as a child, I suffered from anorexia. Other than knowing that I wanted to be skinny and felt that I was fat, I have never delved deeper into why or what caused my eating disorder. I have always believed that part of it was due to being bullied, and the more I explored this with my therapist the more things started to become clearer. I think there were so many things that I got bullied for as a child, being skinny was something that I had control over if I didn’t eat – and that meant I couldn’t be bullied for being fat. It may sound silly for anyone reading this, but I was a child, under 11 and this is how I was thinking. It actually breaks my heart to think of a little girl feeling that way, and then I realise that that little girl is me. I always grew up with an unhealthy relationship with food, something that since moving abroad has changed greatly, and I would now say that my relationship with food is the best it has ever been. There are still ‘wobbles’ and I am still incredibly self-conscious about my weight and how I look. I step on the scales pretty much every day, and the moment I see a pound over what I am expecting I have a meltdown – regardless of whether this is water weight or I’ve just eaten a huge meal or I’m bloated from being on my period. Anyway, opening up and exploring that part of myself felt easier than it has previously, and I felt somewhat comfortable exploring it. The conversation also discussed my childhood in other ways, growing up ‘poor’, my mum learning to read and spell at the same time as I did, and my parents not being able to help me with my homework – regardless of how much they wanted to – because they physically couldn’t. We talked about my dad working in the local factory, and my mum working cleaning jobs and how this affected the way people treated me in school and looked down on me because of it. I expressed that growing up with no money made me strive to not find myself in that position. I do not believe my parent's situation was their fault. I know there is much that I will not discuss here their lives before me that led them to not have much money – the education system at the time being a large part of that, but regardless, none of the reasons that led to their lot in life was their fault. I knew from a young age that I would go to university. I remember being in primary school and telling my parents that I would, and I remember my mums face turning to panic as she told me she didn’t know how I would ever afford to go to university and that they did not have the money to help. At the time, we were not aware of student loans etc. but I knew so young that I was going to get a degree. Determination to succeed was rooted in me so young and my honest aim was not to be ‘rich’ but to be comfortable. To be able to live in a way that didn’t leave me counting the pennies or wondering whether I would be able to afford something or whether I needed to wait until the next paycheck. I wanted to be comfortable enough that I didn’t need to think before buying something (within reason), or that I didn’t need to save for months on end for something I wanted or needed (again, within reason. I am well aware that large ticket items e.g. a house, is not something I can buy overnight). Anyway, I’m on a random tangent here, so back to therapy. Group therapy this week was good, but I found myself going on a mass rant about women’s rights and the current situation in the UK. I think I went a little overboard, but I was so riled up and angry about it that I couldn’t stop. We were discussing seeing these things in the news and one of the people in our group discussed how they feel that there is nothing they can do to improve women’s place in the world and that they switch off and try not to watch too much media about it. This made me angry. I will preface this with
the person in question is male who I do not believe is inherently misogynistic in any way, but the fact he is male is key. I responded by saying don’t you think we could just switch off from me for a few days, weeks or months and not have to think about it? Don’t you think we wished that we didn’t have to think about it every single time we walk outside or it’s starting to go dark? I was really mad. I expressed that I was not mad at the guy that had said this, I was just angry at the issue. I expressed how this was such a HUGE issue for me personally and something that I feel super strongly about and this was probably why I was raging about it. Well, that and the fact it’s a prominent issue in UK media right now. One of our therapists said they thought the best way to push the discussion forward was to give examples of why we feel the way we do. This I found really annoying. I do not feel that I should have to justify why I feel the way I do about these things or why it makes me angry. I didn’t feel comfortable going into detail in a group setting about the sexual assaults that I have personally experienced and I felt that the other women in the group felt the same. My therapist gave an example of how she sometimes feels scared going to her car in a parking lot at night. Yes, I agree, I would feel the same, but regardless, I felt like they were asking us for more personal examples, and no one seemed happy to give them. After the session, I calmed down a bit and thought through everything I had said and felt during the meeting. I usually do this. I write down my thoughts so that I can explore them in my solo session next week. I assume the topic will come up again, so I guess we’ll see what happens.
OBGYN - This week I had my first OBGYN appointment here in the US. I felt nervous but also excited about it because I was hopeful that I could get some advice and at least someone who would listen to my worries and concerns. However, this is not exactly what I got. I was given the same as the doctor when I booked my appointment. I had specifically asked for a woman, and I looked her up the day before my appointment. I do believe that more often than not I am a good judge of character. I saw her picture and immediately felt negatively towards her. She just looked like someone that was going to be a bitch. She was late to my video appointment which already got my back up and she was immediately dismissive and gave the impression that she couldn’t be bothered. She firstly barked at me to provide her with a list of my illness and medication. I started with IBD, to which she replied, yep IBS. I said no, IBD. I said I have inflammatory bowel disease and she said irritable bowel syndrome. I said no, and she scoffed and said they are the same. If I didn’t have my back up before I certainly did now. One thing worse than having a chronic illness is someone telling you it’s the same as something that isn’t a chronic disease. I said no, I have Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis, it has not yet been determined which. She then clicked on and said, oh! So yes, after her scoffing and laughing at me, she began to understand what I was saying. Next, she asked why I had made an appointment. I explained the appointment with my dermatologist, and she pulled a face and said she didn’t really understand why she had advised me to see an OBGYN. Of course, this just made me feel defeated already and I hadn’t even got onto explaining my thoughts and worries. She said she thought the only reason the derm had told me to see an OBGYN was to get put on birth control as it would also help with my skin. I told her I did not want to be on birth control. She asked what method of contraception I was taking. I REALLY wanted to say that I don’t sleep with men, but I felt so uncomfortable with her already that I just said I don’t have sex right now. Which wasn’t a lie in any terms anyway. She scoffed again and said, so your method of birth control is abstinence. I chose not to explore this further and just let her carry on. We went through some information on my periods, their length, regularity etc. etc. She agreed my periods were irregular… not something that I even needed confirming. I have been living with this for over ten years at this point. I wanted to explore fertility options for the future, just in case I ever decide to have children, but she was so dismissive and said that I shouldn’t begin to worry yet, but should make sure I consider my option of having children sooner rather than later. She made me feel uncomfortable. She didn’t make me feel that I could tell her that I was never going to get pregnant naturally, not because my body wouldn’t let me, but more importantly because I was never again going to have male/female sex. Anyway, the appointment didn’t go how I wanted, and I intend to book with another doctor later in the year to discuss the things that I want to discuss and to hopefully be taken more seriously. The one positive outcome from the appointment was that I am eligible for the HPV vaccine here and they recommend that you get it up until the age of 35. In the UK I was told it was pointless to get it after you have already had sex (with either gender), and you are only covered under the NHS to get it until some point in your 20s. Whatever it was I have now passed that age anyway, so I am open to getting it here. Give me all the vaccines. It’s a three dose-er, so considering my bodies reaction to the covid vaccine I will give it a bit of time to recover before booking my first appointment. Secondly, I have also been prescribed a medication to ‘kickstart’ a fake period should I not have one for three months or more. This made me feel happy as I had been told if my body does not shed its womb lining at least every three months I am
at an increased risk of cancer, so of course, being prescribed a medication to create a bleed, for this reason, is certainly positive. Finally, one part of the appointment that provided me with some concern is the mention of pelvic pain. The doctor said if I ever experience pelvic pain on either side, I must see a doctor right away as there is a high chance a cyst has developed, and I will need surgery… This filled me with great panic considering I have had enormous amounts of pelvic pain recently. I presumed and still believe it is related to my IBD, but regardless it’s something I need to keep track of and be more aware of. I didn’t mention it to the doctor which I now regret, but I just wanted to get off the call as quickly as possible. But yeah, it wasn’t as successful as I had hoped.
In other news, birthday gifts have started arriving from my family which is exciting. Each time something arrives I just think of how lucky I am to have people that are willing to pay the extortionate shipping costs to get things here, and for that, I am so very grateful.
Finally, I am well and truly OBSESSED with Line of Duty. I have been meaning to watch it for years as my mum always told me I would enjoy it and she is also obsessed with it. So, I finally started watching from series one a few days ago. I’m not about halfway through season four and loving every single minute of it. IT’S JUST SO GOOD. I also may have an ever so slight crush on Vicky McClure. Not that that is anything new. Lol in This Is England anyone?
[Blog title: Power Over Me - Dermot Kennedy].
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