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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

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Were my family the assholes for not giving my great-aunt money for her daughter’s funeral? (All names are fake names other than Nan just being a grandmother nickname. This all happened a couple of years ago. Sorry for the length!)

To start, my grandmother (“Nan”) is in her mid-80s and has Alzheimer’s. She mostly still knows who everyone is, but has a very hard time with her working and short-term memory; she cannot live alone anymore and lives with my aunt. She has one living sister (“Joan”), who is in her late 70s and lives several states away from us. It’s drivable but not easily, especially for someone older.

Nan is the sweetest, most patient, and gentle person ever, and Alzheimer’s has not significantly changed this. Joan, on the other hand, has a long history of being manipulative and careless (eg. getting Nan very drunk even in old age), and my family have been no-contact with her for several years. Every time we give her a chance to come back into Nan’s life, she starts fights (occasionally physical) and will scream abuse at Nan’s kids (my dad and aunt). Joan always pitted her kids and my dad and aunt against each other, favoring my dad and openly hating my aunt. She also really fucked up her own kids, one of whom is a very meek, quiet guy who we still see, and the other of whom had addiction and legal problems her whole life (“Mary”).

Mary used to live closer to us, but during a particularly tough time in her life, broke into my grandmother’s house and stole money and jewelry. We are lucky that Nan is financially stable, but she doesn’t have infinite money and some of the things Mary stole were sentimental items from my grandfather, who passed away several years ago. Like with Joan, we had given Mary several second chances. She was a family member, her mother lived far away, and she had problems that were difficult to deal with. After this, my dad put his foot down in the name of Nan’s safety, and we broke off contact with Mary. She eventually went to live closer to Joan.

Mary died a couple of years ago in her late forties. It’s really, really sad. None of us had seen her in several years. Throughout this time period, Joan had popped in and out, sending harassing text messages and berating my aunt over the phone (not about Mary). After Mary died, she contacted my dad and aunt to ask if they could send money for Mary’s burial. Joan and my aunt are not well-off, but my parents are upper middle-class. My parents talked about it a lot and decided not to send money to Joan. Their main reasoning was that they did not want to open up another window for Joan to come back into people’s lives and harass them, particularly Nan. Nan often gets upset when Joan is causing trouble, and we don’t want to put her through that. My parents were also concerned that this might end up with my aunt sending more of my grandmother’s money to Joan.

My brother felt that my parents were being too cold, since the money genuinely was intended for funerary purposes. I get where both he and my parents are coming from: on one hand, Joan is an absolute monster and has been mistreating people her entire life, and Mary did steal from my grandmother. On the other hand, she can’t do any more harm now, she’s family, my parents can afford it, and Joan is too old and far away to realistically physically show up in anyone’s life.

TL;DR: Is it wrong to refuse to help with burial costs for an abusive family member’s (harmful but less abusive) adult child?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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studyhaus · 2 months

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Article Review - Frontotemporal Dementia

I was reading this article and wanted to tell you the interesting information that I learned from it:

1. Dementia is a well-known disease. However, there is a rare type of dementia called frontotemporal dementia (FTD) that affects those aged 45 to 64. It is different from types like Alzheimer’s as it causes behavioural changes rather than memory degradation. Examples of symptoms include inappropriate social manners, impulsive actions and difficulty expressing oneself. Currently, there is no cure for FTD and current treatment options are ineffective. About 40% of cases exhibit family history -> genetic influence. Genes linked to the gene are being studied to understand how this disease causes dysfunction of neurons and neural circuits. Interestingly, FTD has some links with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), the latter of which can cause progressive muscle deterioration and fatality.

2. There is then an analogy introduced about genes as being a set of instructions for cells to follow to produce protein used in life functions. Mutated genes* can hence alter protein function to be lost or abnormal. In the case of FTD, mutations in genes coding for two proteins called tau (neuron stabilizer, forms clumps in diseased brain) and progranulin (regulates cell growth and lysosome** activity) is specific. Mutations in C9orf72 and the gene coding for TDP-43 (forms clumps in diseased brain) cause both FTD and ALS.

3. A particular gene mutation can either cause FTD, ALS or both, while not being observable for many years in affected individuals. Why? One possible reason apart from lifestyle and environment is modifier genes that determine if mutated genes will lead to disease (some protect against it, some promote it). Identifying these genes is important to cure neurodegenerative diseases including the two above.

4. How so? As an example, the writer shares their research experiences. They have worked on generating stem cell lines from FTD patients with mutated progranulin and C9orf72 that can form neurons that can be studied in controlled experiments to understand the disease processes and test potential treatments. Their team also uses fruit flies to identify modifier genes and then study their effects on neuron disease in FTD/ALS patients. They discovered a small subset of such genes aiding in molecular transport to and from a neuron’s nucleus as well as genes aiding in DNA repair. Using techniques like gene-silencing on these modifiers could be possible cures.

4. There are challenges understanding the behavioural changes that FTD causes. Yet, studies in mice have led to possible explanations for two symptoms: social withdrawal and lack of empathy. For the first symptom, two disease proteins in the same area of the brain are responsible, suggesting faults in the same neural circuit that could be reversed by injecting microRNA-124 molecules into the prefrontal cortex (region responsible for social behaviour). The second symptom is associated with weak synapse (regions where neuron contact is necessary for transmitting information) response in this cortex and increasing activity could help improve it. Future advancements aim to make FTD curable.

I was so fascinated by this report… anyone interested in neuroscience should give this article a go!

Disclaimer: This is purely a concise reflection on the points presented in the article. These are not my opinions at all. I am only posting knowledge.

* Genes with altered DNA sequences. ** Organelle in the cell that breaks down materials.

#learning #studyblr #study #knowledge #writing #reading #science #health #medicine #article review

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jestergal · 1 year

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sucks that Everywhere At The End Of Time has become a "meme" because it genuinely makes me feel dread. like, as someone with shitty memory and a family history of dementia/alzheimer's, the project gives me uncomfortable thoughts about my future 30+ years down the line.

#i admit i haven't listened to much of it aside from like; 3 tracks but. i think i am good. it is not something i want to think about.

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heikeee · 8 months

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torn between needing to vent about my life and not wanting to ruin everyone's day with my mom's health decline but i'll do it anyway lol

she fell and hit her head (on sunday and didn't tell anyone abt it) and is showing signs of mental confusion, my aunt and cousin had to admit her to the hospital last night, she literally couldn't recognize my voice on the phone. i'm 9600km away, they don't need help with money (not like i have much either), there's literally nothing i can do but sit and wait for news (either good or bad). i don't know what to do, and it's not like dropping everything and going there would help (i can't even leave if i wanted to bc i'm going through some citizenship shit that requires me to stay).

she has family history with alzheimers and dementia and she's an alcoholic. despite all that i really thought it would take a few more years before something like this happened. she's only 61. i don't feel like i'm being useful enough to allow myself to grieve. i haven't had a mom since she abandoned me at 12 years old but still she is my mother and we have a close relationship. i don't know what to do. i'm usually pretty optimistic about life and stuff but this is one of the few things i know from experience it's best to let go and accept instead of fighting against

#this was way too personal sorry!!

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viobliterator · 1 year

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i suppose it's time for an update?

alright so I'm not quite sure how much of this is just going to be a repeat of the last update because, tbh, i can't remember what i said in the last one so just bear with me here.

i guess one could say that my mom's dementia has reached a point where people other than family notice something's a bit off.

for some context, my best friend seems to have a family history of Alzheimer's and lost her grandmother to it. As a result, my bff's mom definitely knows what it looks like in other people

I hadn't told my circle of friends about my mom, so the last time we got together, i broke the news to both of them. my friend with the family history just said "I know". Her mom and my mom have been friends for a long time, so she's probably told my friend what she's seen in my mom.

And just the other day, my mom seemed to have forgotten that she was supposed to hang out with that same friend for a haircut and lunch. When my mom quickly went to the bathroom before leaving, her friend gently pulled me aside asking if my mom had gotten tested. I told the truth and said that she'd gotten an MRI done, so I assumed that's what she meant.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, but it just feels really disheartening to see my mom the way she is. Most of the time people don't really notice their parents age because in your mind they're the exact same person they were when you were a kid and don't really change.

But nowadays I notice it plain as day that my mom is... well... idk the word to use besides "old".

And declining.

I'm thinking that this may have been why I'd been absolutely dreading my 30th birthday this week, when I'm normally pumped for birthdays. It was almost like I was afraid I would turn out like how my mom is before I knew it, and then that would be it.

Forever.

I'm trying to keep my mind off my mom as much as I can and just have fun and work for myself. I feel that's all I can do besides helping my mom when I can.

Sometimes I think about whether I should just hurry up and get married, or even have a kid even though I really, really don't want to get pregnant and give birth. Just so my mom could be a grandma and see my wedding while she's still kinda herself.

After all, I'm 29. Shouldn't I be getting my life together anyways?

idk

#dementia #alzheimers #idk what to tag this as

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brunchbitch · 2 years

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When do you want to start your family? I have always imagined having children younger in life but I’m not 29 and I still haven’t had kids and may be waiting 3-5 years and that feels really hard…

so the family question is a little complicated for A and i. i don't want to offend anyone who has/wants kids, but we both feel very strongly that climate change is our new normal and we feel ambivalent about bringing kids into the world, when who knows what our earth will look like in 50, 60, 70 years. it feels in some ways a little irresponsible to contribute to the overutilization of the earth's resources. it's hard bc at the same time, not to put pressure on our unborn and unconceived children lol, but it's possible that one of our kids could make huge changes in a positive way that would help the earth and humankind. idk.

additionally, we are concerned with the genes we will both be passing down - his physical genes (he has several chronic medical problems and a strong history of leukemia and alzheimer's in his family), and my physical and mental genes (scoliosis, mental illness genes).

there are a lot of other factors and more details which i won't go into (i just don't really want people giving me advice on this... we have thought every option through very carefully and have not decided fully what we are going to do) but that's not really answering your question at all haha.

people are having kids at much older ages today and i think there's a huge benefit in waiting until you are physically, emotionally, and financially stable and ready to have kids. i know there is no way in hell i would have been ready to have kids in my 20s (can't believe i'm in a different decade than in my 20s lol). if you are concerned about having kids at an older age (and i really don't see 35 as "older"... i'm talking 40+), could you look into egg freezing as an option? i don't know much about what that looks like tbh, but if any of my followers know anything about it, let me know and i'll pass it along!

good luck darling. starting a family can be scary, but it sounds like you're thinking a lot about it and i think intentionality and preparedness are sooooo important to have as a new parent.

#personal #answered #kids #starting a family #advice #a

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nondeducible · 1 year

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my paternal grandmother was either fully roma or mixed polish/roma but we only found out about it shortly before her death. at that point she already barely recognised any of us due to her alzheimers so that's as much info as we got. we tried doing research but hit a wall pretty quickly when it turned out basically no original pre-ww2 records of that side of the family exist, a lot has been destroyed and what is left are copies of copies made a lot later. all this, plus the fact that we know she and her father spent most of the war hiding from the nazis, leads us to believe she told us the truth but we will probably never know for sure or the full family history.

#her mother died giving birth to her #and all her siblings were step siblings #her stepmother was definitely polish and white #but her dad spent the war hiding in the nearby forests #and she used to hide in the basement a lot #which you only did if you 'looked' suspicious #it's all so frustrating

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yegarts · 1 year

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“I Am YEG Arts” Series: Frances Whitford

It’s been said that grandparents are the voices of the past and the door to the future. For Frances Whitford, there are few truer sentiments. It’s why she describes her business, Beadwork & Bannock, as a creation of love and legacy to her grandparents and Métis culture. Lucky for us, that gratitude and knowledge are both gifts she’s eager to share with everyone. From passing down traditions to her children to championing the Indigenous Artists Market Collective (I.A.M), Frances looks forward to continuing to promote and support the perseverance of Indigenous art and culture in our city. Artist, advocate, granddaughter, and teacher—this week’s “I Am YEG Arts” story belongs to Frances Whitford.

Tell us about your connection to Edmonton and why you’ve made it your home.

I have a lot of family here. I’m from northeastern Alberta, just outside of Fort McMurray, so Edmonton was the closest major city and our go-to for everything—so we’ve always been connected to it. Even as a kid, we’d go to Lac Ste. Anne every summer, and then to K-Days because my grandmother had sisters and family here. From there we’d go around to Lac La Biche to the powwow before heading back home. So ever since I was a small child, I’ve spent a few weeks of every single summer here.

As an adult, what really drew me to Edmonton were the opportunities for my three children to grow. Being in a small community is great—the support you have is good, everyone knows your name, and your history, and all of those types of things—but sometimes that can put a real damper on personal growth when it comes to just wanting to spread your wings and be yourself. So all the genres of opportunities presented to them here were very alluring to all of us.

I also found the Indigenous Artists Market Collective (I.A.M) here, and that was amazing. I always say that when I found them, I found my tribe. As Lorrie Lawrence always says, it’s like a melting pot of Indigenous artists.

Tell us a bit about Beadwork & Bannock and how it came to be.

I grew up raised largely by my grandparents. They were very old-school, very Métis lifestyle, so I spent a lot of my youth on our family trapline, which my brother still runs with my cousin Jason. Despite being so immersed in my culture throughout my life, I didn’t realize then how blessed I was—not until 2011 when my grandmother passed away. She had developed Alzheimer’s around 2006, so it really felt like we lost her a lot sooner, but during that time was when I really began to realize that, wow, once she goes, all of this is gone.

My grandmother was an artisan herself and used what she earned to help supplement the family income. I loved watching her work, and a lot of time I’d get to play around sorting beads… but watching her create all these amazing things and seeing every part of the process—from trap to this beautiful pair of moccasins—was pretty cool. So when she passed away, I made my decision to allow myself to dream about making a living preserving my culture and being able to share it with others and teach my kids. Beadwork & Bannock was the answer. And there’s just so much good that has come from it. It is literally a legacy of love for my culture, my grandparents, and everything they’ve instilled in me. There were quite a few years of dreaming it up in my mind and wanting to be where I am now, but just knowing that this knowledge is for me to pass on to as many people as I can reach makes me very happy.

What inspires your design choices and the stories that your beading and clothing tell?

Again, it goes right back to my grandparents and realizing how much culture they preserved in me that I didn’t realize I carried until I was older. A lot of my beadwork designs are inspired by the work of my grandmother and from learning and exploring our Métis culture. As I did my genealogy, I realized just how far-reaching my Métis ancestry is when it comes to Canada and the United States. Because we were the landless people, we travelled so often that there are bits and pieces of my grandfathers’ and great grandfathers’ and great-great grandfathers’ families from Montana all the way through Saskatchewan and Manitoba. It’s pretty amazing to see that. So often I’ll look at all this beadwork from all over these places and feel such a connection to it. And at first, I don’t understand why until I realize it’s that ancestry that draws me in.

What’s one piece of advice you wish you’d had when starting out? And what’s something you knew instinctively that’s still serving you?

The advice I wish I’d had starting out is don’t limit yourself—don’t limit yourself to what you can and cannot do. When I first started, I felt very much that I was in this box and had to stick to mitts and moccasins and the traditional things my grandmother made. But as I’m evolving as an artist, I like to bring in contemporary elements and incorporate new-age thinking with the old—like repurposing fur coats. It’s conservation in itself. And a lot of what we do as trappers is conservation work. Some people have the misconception that we’re out there hauling out these furs and mass-producing and selling them. But, no. We’re actually doing a lot of environmental monitoring. So, for example, if there’s a species that’s low, we’re not going to harvest it. We’re going to refrain. Or if we’ve noticed a species is diseased, we’re submitting that all to the government to be tested to make sure that it’s not something invasive to these species.

The something I just knew from the get-go would probably have to be the importance of transferring knowledge. That was just the biggest driver for me after losing my grandmother and realizing that a lot of her knowledge was gone. Though I only have bits and pieces of it, I’m learning and growing on it every day, remembering more as I carry on. I also realized how important it is for us through truth and reconciliation to share that knowledge back and to give it to our future generations so that they can continue to grow on it and ground themselves with it—because that’s what it did for me.

I strongly believe that the knowledge and traditional practices I was given were meant for me to transfer, not to hold. Letting everyone know there is space for all of us to share and learn these things is something I’m very happy to do.

Tell us about someone who mentored you or helped set you on your path.

That would be my brother. I can really say that my brother has always been one of my biggest supporters and champions. When my grandmother passed away, the two of us sat down and had a conversation about my kids really needing to go to the trapline with him. They were all very small then, but I knew they needed to go with him alone because at that age Mom is everything—Mom, do this. Mom, do that. The trapline is a very wonderful and magical place, but it can also be very dangerous, so I knew they needed to build their relationship with him and the respect he required for them to safely enjoy trapline living—and to learn to grow their wings and be independent. So when my son was around 6 and my other daughter was 10 or 11, they went for their first weekend on the trapline with my brother. And that all started it. That’s when we both realized that if we didn’t transfer that knowledge, it’d be gone. From there, we started to talk about all the things that Grandma would make and decided to give it a try. The rest is history!

Who’s someone inspiring you right now?

Right now, I would probably say the artists with I.A.M. They have so many stories and inspire me so much with their resilience. There’s such an incredible amount of knowledge coming off each of these artists that stems from their families and their histories. And it’s just so inspiring to me to see our art coming back and being appreciated for what it is. The dedication each and every one of them shows to their craft is incredible. We even have one artist, Agnus Jones, who I believe is 89 years old. She does a lot of the similar work that I do, and the last time I saw her at the market I told her that, in my eyes, I am just an apprentice, she is a master, and that—one day—I hope to be as good as her.

Last year, you and your son designed a T-shirt for Orange Shirt Day. What was that experience like for you?

Normally, T-shirts are right out of my element, but I just felt called to tell this story (of our family’s journey of truth and reconciliation)—and to include my children. Part of our coming to knowledge of our past with residential school really shed light on understanding that we have our own story to tell. Knowing that the world is seeing the truth now, we needed to stand in our own truth. So I just really wanted my children to understand their history, as much as I can teach it, and as much as I can learn it myself to pass it on to them so they can understand why we are the way we are these days and which direction we need to move in. I needed a positive outlet to empower them to know that healing is possible, and necessary, and important for them to think about. That’s the real legacy I’d like to leave—that we need to move forward in a positive light, and that sometimes extracting a positive from a negative situation is the best way to grow and heal. That’s what I hope my T-shirts will do.

Tell us a bit about what you’re currently working on or hoping to explore next.

What I’m working on right now is focusing more on my beadwork detail. I just want to grow a little bit more, and explore a little bit more, and venture out into making new things, like satchel-style purses.

I’ve been exploring new mediums and playing around with caribou tufting, too. And it’s like, as soon as I understand my connection to these animals and these things, all of a sudden the creative comes in and I want to work with parts of them!

The kids and I are also working on more Every Child Matters T-shirts and collaborating on some other designs.

What do you want people to understand about the importance of buying Indigenous products from Indigenous artists?

It truly is a preservation of culture and of legacy. Our Indigenous art tells the story of our history, of our connectedness to other cultures and other places, and reminds us of the unity that we need to continue to share. I think it’s good to walk in your individual light and be proud of who you are and where you come from, but it’s also good to be proud of other cultures too—to raise them up and know that you stand in unity with them. So that’s what I’d like people to know: that when they purchase Indigenous art, they’re not only supporting an artist, they’re actually preserving a culture. And that’s an amazing thing.

Describe your perfect day in Edmonton. How do you spend it?

My perfect day in Edmonton would probably be spent exploring one of the many festivals or attractions that you literally find every weekend and everywhere you turn. Spending it with my kids, of course, because I love that.

You visit Edmonton 20 years from now. What do you hope has changed? What do you hope has stayed the same?

Well, I do hope that all the festivals and everything have stayed, but what I really hope to see is more reflection of the Indigenous presence that is here in the architecture and everywhere you turn. It’s starting to look like that now, but I’d really like it to be strongly visible. For example, the history behind the river lot that was here really needs to come to the surface—and in a good way. Because even though it’s a dark history, it’s a very positive place, and I love being there.

Want more YEG Arts Stories? We’ll be sharing them here all year and on social media using the hashtag #IamYegArts. Follow along! Click here to learn more about Frances Whitford, Beadwork & Bannock, and more.

About Frances Whitford

Frances Whitford is originally from Anzac, Alberta, but now calls Edmonton home. She was raised by her grandparents and grew up surrounded by Métis culture and craft, spending much time on the family trapline. Frances learned most of her craft from her grandmother, a Métis artisan, who made various pieces for the family and to sell in an effort to supplement the family’s income. Her grandfather was a trapper who would supply the furs and hides needed for her grandmother’s craft. Today, Frances’s brother has stepped into the role of trapper and supplies a large amount of the hides and furs that allow Frances to continue to learn and hone her skills.

Frances’s pieces, such as moccasins, mukluks, gauntlet mitts, and other Métis-oriented items, are made mainly of traditional and commercial-tanned moose hides, as well as beaver, fox, lynx, rabbit, and various other types of furs. Some of her Beadwork & Bannock pieces also include her beadwork.

As Treasurer of the Indigenous Artists Market Collective (I.A.M), Frances looks forward to continuing to promote, support, and participate in the advocacy and perseverance of Indigenous art and culture that she sees thriving in this city.

#yeg #edmontonarts #yegarts #IamYegArts #IndigenousArt

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detransdamnation · 2 years

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hmmm i guess kind of both? I mean, i find the concept of DEADname kind of hyperbolic and dramatic but i also think if one has changed name for dysphoric or nondysphoric reason then it can be disrespectful or malicious to keep using the former one. I guess i kind of give a pass to family members if there hasn't been a history of abuse, and ppl with amnesia or alzheimer uhh so yeah both pls

Well, to start, I do think "deadnaming" is... well... real. The very definition of it is "the act of referring to a transgender or non-binary person by a name they used prior to transitioning," which... obviously happens, whether on accident or with intent. I don't think about the dramatism or hyperbole that is or is not surrounding the word itself. It is a term to describe a concept. That's it, that's all.

I am against deadnaming where it may skew understanding of the conversation at hand. Not only does it make absolutely no sense (in my opinion) to use a name that virtually no one else is, but it is also potentially harmful. I get the whole "I don't need to respect a(n) abuser/pedophile/rapist's name or pronouns" thing just as much as the next person. I agree wholeheartedly. But if our goal in calling these people out is to raise public awareness, we need to refer to the person by the name that they are actually going by, or at the very least, acknowledge it somewhere and not pretend that their chosen name is completely null—because the name that they have chosen is the name that they will be presenting to potential future victims and not everyone is going to connect the dots and realize that, I don't know, "John" and "Jane" are the same person.

Those situations aside? I don't know. I'm conflicted. I don't think names will ever be a hill that I would choose to die on in general. But my personal feelings are pretty heavily influenced by my own history because the main reason I am keeping my chosen name even despite my detransition is because I associate my given name with abuse that I have endured my whole life. To be called by that name (at least when I'm around) would be genuinely triggering to me, not to mention hurtful if the person knew and still chose to use it just because I am (de)trans.

So, wherever there is a name change, I always consider that there are reasons behind why someone may not want to go by their given name that have nothing to do with their transition, and I don't feel it's my place to decide whether or not those reasons are "good enough" for me to use the name that they ask me to. Even if there is no other reason beyond "I'm trans," I don't see why I should decide. At the end of the day, I have no qualms against, say, using a nickname for anyone who doesn't like their given. Why would I not offer that same courtesy to a trans individual?

Those are my feelings on the matter at this time.

#considered expanding on this a little more but this is long enough #plus i'm tired and trying not to burn food #but for the record i am also very against deadnaming a trans person with amnesia or alzheimer's who continues to identify as trans #submission #answered #gender critical #text #my post

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thebuckblogimo · 4 months

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Five miscellaneous things I couldn't recall during the holidays--things that I just used to know.

January 4, 2024

I've been writing these essays for about a dozen years. A recurring theme has been my concern about memory loss. When my Dad was in his late 70's to mid 80s, I observed how his dementia evolved into Alzheimer's. And I watched my mother's cognition decline to the point that she began accusing my sister, her primary care giver, of stealing her possessions.

Consequently, one of my biggest fears is that I'll develop a similar condition and turn into someone other than who I was.

Lately it seems that I've been having unusual trouble pulling things up from the database of my mind--things that I thought I had absolutely, positively internalized along the way. Here are five examples from the recent holiday period:

What's the password? For about a year I've had the same one for unlocking my laptop. However, after not using it for a couple weeks, I couldn't come up with the password while staying at my sister's home during Christmas time. I knew that it included a couple of my favorite numbers, but couldn't identify the symbols associated with it until returning home and consulting my password book.

A nephew's doppleganger. When I walked into my sister's home for our annual family Christmas party, the first person I spotted was my nephew Jake, sporting a new mustache and "fade" haircut. He looked like the spitting image of uh, uh.... I couldn't come up with the name of a Minnesota Golden Gohpers great who went on to star in the NBA, a player I followed when he played in the Big Ten and later with the Detroit Pistons. I couln't make the call at the party without doing some sleuthing on my phone: Kris Humphries.

Mr. Las Vegas. We were watching television at my sister's home on Christmas night when we saw a commercial promoting the highest grossing entertainer in Las Vegas history, the guy who has had about 18 face lifts and sang "Danke Schoen" back in 1963. I've known him forever. Saw him on all the television variety shows at the peak of his career. And yet, it took an hour for my sister and I to recall the name of Wayne Newton.

Who was that guy? My brother and I talk about the highs and lows of Spartan sports all the time. As we were going over the football team's probable starting lineup for next fall, neither one of us could name the returning, first-string running back. Knowing stuff like that used to be second nature for me. Finally, after an hour of self-flagellation, I recalled that the running back in question was a transfer from Connecticut: Nathan Carter.

Full disclosure. It was a few days ago that I decided to write about fading memory. I made a mental note at the time of the five things I failed to recall over the holidays. As fate would have it, I have forgotten the fifth and final one I had intended to write about.

During the run-up to the holidays, my mother-in-law (whose memory loss is accelerating), was staying with us in Grand Haven when we received a phone call that one of our sons was on the way to ER at Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak. Debbie dropped what she was doing (wrapping gifts, baking Christmas cookies) and drove across the state to be with him. Meanwhile, I attended to my mother-in-law and started packing things we'd be taking with us in a couple days on the drive to Detroit.

Ultimately, during the first few days of the holiday break, we all stayed at the home of my daughter in Dearborn. On the first night there I discovered that I had forgotten to pack my mother-in-law's porta-potty. Two days later I discovered that I had also forgotten to pack the Polish "oplatki" (Christmas wafers) that our extended family traditionally shares at the table prior to Christmas Eve dinner.

Also, on the morning of Christmas Eve, I did some shopping for last minute items that were needed for the dinner. My daughter asked me to pick up a couple of tubes of Pillsbury Grands (flaky bisquits), a product that I was unaware of. At the store I plucked packages from the cooler, placed them on a shelf, and took a picture to send to my daughter for corroboration that I had indeed landed on the correct product.

It wasn't long before I got a thumbs up from her and proceeded to the checkout counter with my grocery cart. However, when it was time to prepare the biscuits, it was discovered that I must have left the tubes on the shelf at the store where I had set them up for the photo.

Now, it must be said that I am a day-dreamer. And people who know me well understand that "focus" is not one of my greatest strengths. Moreover, people say that a certain amount of memory loss is normal for those with advancing age (I'll be 77 next month). Perhaps one or all of those were reasons I forgot a few facts during Christmas time and left some things behind at home, as well as the grocery store.

Or maybe it was something else.

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over-the-edge-and-never-enough · 5 months

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I haven't been on much lately as you can see. So I guess this is an update of sorts.

To start, the husband was diagnosed in May with early onset Alzheimer's after an incident when he basically lost touch with reality, didn't know who I or our son was, pulled a knife and then a gun on me. He'd been having memory issues for a while, and it's believed that his uncontrolled diabetes led to this because he has no family history of this disease in this family.

To that end, we decided to move from Missouri back to TN. We sold our house in MO at a loss and bought one down here. It needs work. A lot of work.

As for me, same old, same old I suppose. Constant neuropathic pain along with the fibro and arthritis. My blood pressure is through the roof and my blood sugar will barely come down below 300.

To put it mildly...

Life Sucks

#fibromyalgia #chronic pain #chronically ill #chronic illness #arthritis #fibro #fucking ouch #chronic illnesses #alzheimers #caregiver

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pharma0123 · 6 months

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Why does my mom accuse me of sleeping late?

Sleep deprivation is a rest problem wherein you experience difficulty falling or potentially staying unconscious.

The condition can be present moment (intense) or can keep going quite a while (constant). It might likewise travel every which way.

Intense a sleeping disorder endures from 1 night to half a month. A sleeping disorder is persistent when it occurs no less than 3 evenings every week for quite some time or more.

Kinds of Sleep deprivation

There are two kinds of sleep deprivation: essential and auxiliary.

Essential sleep deprivation: This implies your rest issues aren't connected to some other ailment or issue.

Optional sleep deprivation: This implies you experience difficulty resting in light of a medical issue (like asthma, misery, joint pain, malignant growth, or indigestion); torment; medicine; or substance use (like liquor).

You could likewise find out about:

Rest beginning a sleeping disorder: This implies you experience difficulty getting to rest.

Rest support sleep deprivation: This happens when you experience difficulty staying unconscious as the night progressed or get up too soon.

Blended sleep deprivation: With this kind of sleep deprivation, you have inconvenience both nodding off and staying unconscious as the night progressed.

Confusing a sleeping disorder: When you have dumbfounding sleep deprivation, you underrate the time you're snoozing. It seems like you rest significantly short of what you truly do.

Sleep deprivation Causes

Essential drivers of a sleeping disorder include:

Stress connected with enormous life altering situations, similar to an employment cutback or change, the demise of a friend or family member, separate, or moving

Things around you like commotion, light, or temperature

Changes to your rest plan like fly slack, another shift at work, or persistent vices you got when you had other rest issues

Your qualities. Research has found that a propensity for sleep deprivation might run in families.Optional reasons for a sleeping disorder include:

Emotional well-being issues like sadness and uneasiness

Drugs for colds, sensitivities, sadness, hypertension, and asthma.

Agony or uneasiness around evening time

Caffeine, tobacco, or liquor use, as well as utilization of illegal medications.

Hyperthyroidism and other endocrine issues

Other rest problems, similar to rest apnea or fretful legs condition

Pregnancy

Alzheimer's infection and different kinds of dementia

ADHD

PMS and menopause

For what reason mightn't you at any point rest?

For what reason might you at any point rest?

A sleeping disorder Hazard Variables

Sleep deprivation influences ladies more than men and more seasoned individuals more than more youthful ones. Youthful and middle-age African Americans likewise have a higher gamble.

Other gamble factors include:

Long haul disease

Emotional well-being issues

Working night moves or moves that pivot

A sleeping disorder Side effects

Side effects of a sleeping disorder include:

Drowsiness during the day

Weariness

Crankiness

Issues with focus or memory

A sleeping disorder Conclusion

Your PCP will do an actual test and get some information about your clinical history and rest history.

They could advise you to save a rest journal for up to 14 days, monitoring your rest examples and how you feel during the day. They might converse with your bed accomplice about how much and how well you're resting. You could likewise have unique tests at a rest community.

A sleeping disorder Treatment

Intense a sleeping disorder may not require therapy.

On the off chance that it's difficult for you to do regular exercises since you're drained, your PCP might endorse resting pills for a brief time frame. Drugs that work rapidly yet momentarily can assist you with staying away from issues like sluggishness the following day.

Try not to involve over-the-counter dozing pills for a sleeping disorder. They could make side impacts, and they will quite often function admirably after some time.

For constant a sleeping disorder, you'll require treatment for the circumstances or medical issues that are keeping you conscious. Your PCP could likewise propose conduct treatment. This can assist you with changing the things you do that aggravate sleep deprivation and realize how you might advance rest.

A sleeping disorder Intricacies

Our bodies and minds need rest so they can fix themselves. It's additionally critical for learning and keeping recollections. Assuming a sleeping disorder is keeping you conscious, you could have:

A higher gamble of medical issues like hypertension, weight, and sadness

A higher gamble of falling, in the event that you're a more seasoned lady

Inconvenience centering

Tension

Crotchetiness

Slow response time that can prompt a fender bender

A sleeping disorder Counteraction

Great rest propensities, additionally called rest cleanliness, can assist you with beating a sleeping disorder. Here are a few hints:

Fall asleep simultaneously every evening, and get up simultaneously every morning. Make an effort not to lay down for rests during the day, since they might make you less drowsy around evening time.

Try not to utilize telephones or digital books before bed. Their light can make it harder to nod off.

Stay away from caffeine, nicotine, and liquor late in the day. Caffeine and nicotine are energizers and can hold you back from nodding off. Liquor can make you awaken around midnight and hurt your rest quality.

Get customary activity. Do whatever it takes not to resolve near sleep time, since it might make it hard to nod off. Specialists propose practicing somewhere around 3 to 4 hours before bed.

Try not to eat a weighty feast late in the day. Yet, a light nibble before sleep time might assist you with resting.

Make your room agreeable: dull, calm, and not excessively warm or excessively cold. In the event that light is an issue, utilize a resting cover. To conceal sounds, attempt earplugs, a fan, or a background noise.

Follow a daily practice to unwind before bed. Peruse a book, pay attention to music, or wash up.

Try not to involve your bed for something besides rest and sex.

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