you and your writing genuinely annoy me.

chocolate covered strawberries | r. d.

summary: a precious person like you was what had been missing in Ransom’s life. 

pairing: ransom drysdale x reader

warnings: fluff only, language, implied smut maybe?, oh and beware of fucking soft!Ransom

word count: 3,479 (less or more)

a/n: well, i certainly didn’t expect it to be this long. anyway, this is a soft and ooc!Ransom fic, no spoilers because i follow practically nothing from the movie (at least i think). excuse my errors, please, and enjoy!!😊let me know what you think!!

Ransom is furious, driving home from another family gathering that couldn’t end any differently than with yelling, insults, and throwing things at each other. He has no idea why he‘s still going to these things, he always swears to himself that the next time will be the last time. Maybe somewhere deep inside of him, there’s still a sparkle of hope that one day he will have a normal conversation with his mom and dad.

He needs something to calm him down and while a drink and some bimbo he’d meet in a bar sound amazing, it is still early for that. On his way home, there is this bakery he‘s always liked to stop by because they have the best fresh-from-the-oven chocolate-filled croissants to ever exist. They are maybe even better than alcohol. Just maybe.

He leaves the coat in his car and heads towards the entrance. The bell above the door rings as he enters, taking his sunglasses off. The shop is quiet except for the soft chatter of the patrons that are occupying some of the seats. He doesn‘t even need to look at the display case with all the baked goods, he already knows what he’s having, so he heads directly to the counter to order.

After the cashier takes his order and disappears in the kitchen, Ransom slowly moves to the waiting counter where a young woman is chatting with the older man (Timmy, he thinks is his name) that owns the place together with his wife. The woman has a big genuine smile on her face and occasionally a beautiful laugh leaves her mouth when Timmy says something supposedly funny. Ransom has never seen her before. Maybe it’s not so early to charm his way into a woman’s bed after all. He gets closer and as Timmy hands her her order on a pink paper tray – two Halloween themed cupcakes, with white frosting, yellow and orange sprinkles and a little marzipan ghost sticking out – Ransom only hears their goodbyes.

You are still smiling, cheerful from the conversation you had with Timmy as you turn around, ready to leave, and enjoy the sweet treat on the way home. But you don‘t even have the time to react when you suddenly collide with a solid figure. You stumble a little, but strong hands on your shoulders steady you, which you don‘t even realize since your mind‘s only focus is on the mess you have caused. And just like that, your smile disappears.

“Oh my god,“ you gasp and your eyes widen as they scan the not-so-white-anymore cable-knit sweater covered in frosting and sprinkles. “Oh my god,” you repeat, a little louder this time. Panicking, you quickly dispose of the tray with crumbled cupcakes, taking an unnecessarily high number of napkins from the holder on the counter and trying your best to clean the beautiful cozy-looking piece of clothing.

You have yet to see the person’s face, either too embarrassed to look them in the eye or too concentrated on getting the crumbs out of the wool. Probably both.

“I am sorry.” You say, throwing the dirty napkins on the counter. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve been looking where I was going. I was still so absorbed in the conversation that I didn’t notice you,” Oh, god, here comes the downpour of babbles… „And I didn’t even hear you come behind me or maybe I wasn’t paying attention, that’s prob–“

Your gibbering is interrupted by the stranger’s hand circling your wrist, also stopping your frantic movements.

“Would you calm down? It’s just a sweater. I can buy a new one.”

You finally look up, your eyes meeting ocean-blue ones with hints of green around the pupils. His voice sounded empty, emotionless and you aren‘t sure if he is upset or just doesn‘t care.

“Oh,” slipping your hand out of his hold, you break the eye contact, the situation too embarrassing for you. You look at the mess on the countertop, the paper tray still laying there, dirty napkins scattered across the surface and some of them even found their way to the ground.

Shaking your head, you grab all the garbage, bend down to pick up the ones on the floor and throw it into the trash can situated in the corner.

You turn back to the man, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Um… Can I at least pay the cleaning bill?”

“It’s fine, really.”

He still hasn’t cracked a smile.

“Well, let me buy you something sweet then. What’s your guilty pleasure?” you smile again and look over his shoulder, studying the selection of desserts.

“I said it’s alright,“ he bites. “Besides, I already ordered.”

You don‘t expect him to snap at you like that so it kind of shocks you. Better let sleeping dogs lie…

“Okay,” you nod. “I’m sorry again,” you stuff your hands in your coat pockets and head out.

Ransom stands there, looking at your leaving form and he sighs. Shit.

When you bumped into him, he was really pissed that you ruined his clothes at first, but then you started apologizing, cleaning him and rambling . That infuriated him even more. Why the hell did you even care? It wasn’t even your sweater!

You were annoyingly sweet, which Ransom isn‘t used to at all. Sure, women are nice to him, giving him that fake sugary smile just to get into his pants. He never complains, of course, it makes getting laid much easier when they’re trying to get his attention, not the other way around. But it was just an act. The smile you gave Timmy was genuine and so was the concern about his sweater. How was he supposed to react?

His thoughts are interrupted by the young employee who took his order, signalizing his croissant is ready. He takes it and turns to leave, his face still painted with… confusion?

“Fuck.” He curses silently. You can‘t be far. If he hurries, he can still catch up to you and… apologize? He doesn’t know what he’s going to do, except for one thing.

He faces the cashier again. “Hey, could you give me two of those Halloween cupcakes? With the ghosts. And wrap it up. Quickly,“ his voice is intimidating, arrogant and the boy doesn‘t have the balls to argue so he just does as he is told. Ransom snatches the covered tray from the boy’s hands and sprints out.

He looks around and luckily sees you not so far away from the shop so he decides to add a jog to his steps as he follows your direction.

“Hey!” he yells to catch your attention, which he successfully does. You turn around, brows furrowed, stopping when you notice the man from the bakery.

He runs up to you and when he reaches the place where you’re standing, you open your mouth again.

“Oh, did you change your mind?” Your hand makes a move to reach into your bag. “Just say how much and I’ll –”

“No.” He interrupts and confusion becomes evident on your face again. “As I said, it’s fine.” You expect him to continue, to tell you why he stopped you in the middle of a street. But he just stands there, looking at you as if he expects you to say something.

See, when Ransom spontaneously came up with this great plan, he didn’t think it all the way through. He seriously didn’t know what he was going to do, so now, he is just awkwardly shifting on his feet as he contemplates what to say.

“Here.” He shoves the mini tray into your hands. You look at it and then back at him, still confused. „It’s the cupcakes you bought before my sweater decided to have a taste.“

Really? That’s the smoothest thing you could think of? Jesus, what is wrong with you?

But you laugh. And god, is that a beautiful sound. Wait, what?

“Thank you, that’s really sweet of you.” you smile and before Ransom can argue, you stick your free hand out. “I’m (Y/n).”

He closes his fingers over yours. “Hugh… I mean, Ransom.”

The smile doesn‘t leave your face. “Well, which is it?”

“Ransom, you can call me Ransom.”

“Nice to meet you, Ransom.”

You have known since the beginning that Ransom has some skeletons in the closet. Hence the rudeness when you first met and struggle of wording out an apology for his manners. He managed to apologize in his own way and that was okay with you. You know people who don’t even try, but Ransom? He did his best and for that, you gave him your number when he asked.

It didn’t take him long to call you and ask you out. You agreed.

When he asked you on a date, his plan was to take you out for a dinner in a luxurious restaurant, order some expensive wine to get you a little bit tipsy, and spend the night at your place. The next morning he would silently sneak out of your house, block your number and never see you again.

But you are here, sitting across from him, with that big smile on your face, wearing a lovely cream knee-length dress that shows just the right amount of skin which makes him horny and at the same time, he just wants to focus on not how hot, but how beautiful you look.

“So, tell me more about yourself,” you say after the waiter takes away the empty plates.

There is no way he will talk about how filthy rich he is, how his grandfather owns one of the most successful publishing companies and lives in a huge mansion in the rich part of town. No, he’ll save this information for the gold diggers.

“Well, you might know my granddad, Harlan Thrombey?” Okay, nevermind. “He owns Blood Like Wine?” In his defense, this is all he’s ever talked about with girls. He just needs practice. 

You nod. “Oh my God, yeah, of course, I know him! I mean, not know know him, but I’ve read some of his books! Just don’t ask me about them, I’m not exactly a number one fan.” you scrunch your nose and his mind tells him how adorable that is. Shut up, brain.

“Okay, I won’t.” he laughs genuinely. He always fakes laugh when he is on a date if you can even call the ones he’s been on that. “Besides, you can’t be a number one fan even if you wanted to, because that place is mine.”

“I wouldn’t assume anything else. Are you close with your granddad?”

He averts his eyes for a second and clears his throat.

Instead of answering, he throws the question back at you, his voice defensive, maybe a little too harsh. “Are you close with your granddad?”

The corners of your mouth slightly falter and you look down for a second before facing him again, “I was. He died when I was 15.”

“Oh.” Ransom’s face softens.

“But I loved him. Every Halloween, I’d force him to tell me scary stories all day and all night.” you smile at the memories. “You know, I’m sure he and your granddad would get along. He did come up with some pretty amazing tales.”

And suddenly, he is intrigued. “What was your favorite?”

You tell him about the cursed toy factory, how every Halloween all toys come to life and they stuff all the employees with plush so they become these living toys, too, and from all the anger, they do the same to the future workers the following year.

He laughs at that, agreeing that your grandfathers would indeed be good friends.

“I’m not that close with my granddad,” he says after a few moments of silence. What surprises him is your hand carefully coming to take his which was laying on the table. His eyes focus on your thumb that is stroking his knuckles as he continues. “I’m not close with anyone from my family, actually.” Why is he telling you that? Fucking stop.

He clears his throat and withdraws his hand, scratching the back of his neck.

“You ready to go?” he asks and you just nod.

He isn‘t in the mood for sex anymore, so he drops you at your place and speeds home. God, what are you doing to him? There is something about you that makes him want to open up to you, spill all of his secrets, desires and dreams.

It felt kind of good to tell you about his family, but to be honest, he is scared. He doesn‘t want another person that’s just going to treat him like a worthless piece of shit in his life. I mean, he is, but it would just make him even more shitty.

He’s decided. He is not going to see you ever again.

Then his phone beeps.

(y/n): I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable but I had a great time! I’d definitely be up for doing it again! You can tell me more about your family:)

He scoffs. Why the hell would you want to hear about his family when he told you he’s not close to them?

Then the phone beeps again.

(y/n): Or not! I mean, we can talk about whatever you want! But if you need someone to talk to, I’m here. That’s what I meant.

A smile involuntarily makes its way on Ransom‘s face. Maybe he will see you again.

Since you started spending a lot of time at Ransom’s house, he convinced you to bring some of your stuff. Some clothes, your favorite mug with a whale, saying mornings blow, books and a strawberry-scented shampoo which Ransom became to love.

Almost every morning you share a shower. Sometimes it escalates into a morning shower sex, but most of the time you try and fail to tame him, even though you remind him and yourself of all the times you’ve been late for school, which he doesn’t really care about, to be honest.

You head to the bathroom first, because it takes time for him to get out of bed. After a while, he joins you under the stream of water, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind as he kisses you where your neck meets your shoulder and licks the drops of water from your skin.

You sigh in contentment, putting your arms over his and enjoying the relaxing moment.

Seconds pass and you turn around, taking the bottle of your shampoo while doing so, squirting some into your palm, and the scent of strawberry fills your nostrils. As usual, you bring your hands into his hair, massaging the liquid into his skull and he closes his eyes in bliss, humming.

“You enjoying yourself?” you smirk.

He opens his eyes again and smiles, those butterflies in your stomach coming to life.

“You know I do.” He leans in to kiss you, your arms circling his neck. His hands slide to your butt, kneading the flesh before they grip the back of your thighs but when you are about to jump, he shrieks.

“Shit!” he backs up and his back hits the opposite wall.

You panic, not knowing what’s happened. “What?! Baby, what happened?” You come to him and his fingers are already rubbing at his eyes.

“My eyes! My eyes!” He screams. “I can’t see shit!”

You suppress a laugh, reaching up to remove the hair from his face and wipe away the suds. Then you reach for the detachable showerhead, turn down the temperature, and put it in his hand.

“Here, baby, you have to rinse them.”

He does just that, moans still leaving his mouth at the stinging.

After he finally manages to get all the chemicals out of his eyes, you can‘t hold it anymore. You burst out laughing, unable to stop and he just stares at you with a scowl, putting the showerhead back into its place.

When he turns to leave, you grab his wrists.

“Oh, baby, come on.” you wipe the mixture of water and tears from your eyes. “Don’t leave me here all alone.”

He frowns, his bottom lip sticking out just a little bit. “Might as well. I’m not gonna let you make fun of me.”

The grin is still on your face but you stand on your tiptoes and kiss his pout away. Ransom immediately reciprocates the kiss, pushing you against the wall.

“It hurt,” he says in between the touches of your lips.

“I know, baby,” you say. You pull away and smirk. “Is there a way I can make you feel better?” your suggestive tone hits his ears before you’re sliding down the wall to your knees.

Thank God he didn’t leave the shower.

It’s Friday night and you are watching TV this time in your apartment. Ransom still hasn’t come home from the mansion where he’s spent most of the day, as well as his family. He’s been working with Harlan for quite a while now which boosts up his confidence (not arrogance, there’s a difference) a little and it makes him feel better about himself, proud even, that he‘s finally useful. However, Walt has been giving him shit for it ever since Harlan gave Ransom a chance to be the Acquisitions Editor (of course, he has been pestering him long before that, but now it’s even worse).

Ransom can defend himself, you’re not worried about that, but his family brings out the worst in him, they push him into this dark place that is hard to find a way out of and sometimes you’re afraid that it will destroy him. That’s why you’ve promised yourself that you’re always going to be here for him, no matter what.

And as you expected, you hear your door being unlocked and then slammed shut with a force. He doesn’t even jokingly call out his honey, I’m home! which he never forgets to do. Uh-oh. Doesn’t look good. But again, you didn’t expect anything else.

He comes to the living room, strands of his hair sticking in every direction and falling over his forehead.

“Jesus, why’s it so hot in here?” he takes off his maroon sweater, revealing his plain white t-shirt underneath.

“It’s winter and cold. You expect me to have snow in here, too?”

He just shakes his head, coming to the back of the couch as you crane your head to give him an upside-down kiss. Then he heads to the kitchen, searching the cabinets for something to eat, meanwhile, you turn off the television.

“There should be three croissants in the breadbox!” you say loudly enough for him to hear.

“You want one, too?”

You answer with a no and wait for him.

When he comes back to the living room, he sits next to you and leans his back on the armrest. You’re already looking at him, watching his every move, and trying to see a sign of any emotion he might be feeling. He gives you a knowing look and you shift so you are fully facing him, putting your hand gently on his bent knee and lightly stroking it in a comforting way.

“Three, huh?” he asks with his mouth full.

“Just in case it went really bad.” you give a nervous smile, waiting for him to either confirm or rebut.

Seeing the crumbs fall from his mouth, you reach for the plate that is on the coffee table and give it to him.

“Well... nothing I’m not used to.” he takes another bite of the chocolate pastry. Once he swallows, he takes your hand and kisses your palm. “I love you.”

You smile and lean towards him, supporting yourself by putting both hands on his thighs as you kiss him on the lips that now taste like cocoa.

“I love you, too,” you murmur against his mouth.

After Ransom finishes the pastry, instead of going for more food, he lies down, putting his head in your lap. It‘s kind of a ritual now, every time he comes home (his or yours, wherever you are) after visiting his family, he satisfies his sweet tooth (sometimes it’s 1 croissant, sometimes it’s 5), then he sprawls his body on the couch and rests his head on your thighs, nuzzling his face into your stomach while you thread your fingers through his hair and read a book or watch the TV.

“You want to talk about it?” you ask softly.

You stroke his ear with your thumb. He stays quiet and then sighs.

“Later.”

You bend down as much as your position allows you to, placing a few kisses on his temple and across his cheek before you let him drift off to sleep.

You are Ransom’s safe place, just like he’s yours and always will be.

the end

a/n2: so, ehm... *crickets chirping* okay! i have a thing for fucked up guys who i believe can change if you show them a little bit of love, sue me! no but seriously, Ransom is an asshole and he would probably shove the rest of the cupcakes into my face but a girl can dream, right?

anyways, i do have some ideas for part 2 even if it looks like this doesn’t necessarily need a second part..? it could probably be read as a stand-alone but i’ll see if i even decide to post it lol.

thank you so much for reading, any kind of feedback will be appreciated!🥺❤️i love you, guys!!

oh and my other work can be found under #writer luci !!

Okay i cant find the post but i’ll take it as a yes so here:

1: sleep tight don’t let the milf’s bite

2: I sometimes think you’re not neurotypical

3:i can just smell the trauma

4:my queerness could never

5:i can just feel the gay

6:You know how i said “I definitely jinxed it”…yea i did

7:sounds like a crisis…mood

8:In one sentence i somehow made my whole bloodline ashamed of me

9:Dont know if this is supped to be gay or therapy

10:my yawns sound like a quiet chainsaw

11:my dreams are either trauma or gay…what does that mean

12:my dream was amazing filled with zombies but amazing

13:be the gays you need to be

14:i think i ate some soap

15:My brain was somewhat okay and you completely ruined it

16:Okay who do i have to kill this time

17:Yes im using a musical to teach politics

18: think i made a random poem and somehow it got deep

19:What do you not understand about me reading gay shit on webtoon and seeing cute dresses?

20:I will be the monster under your bed i will either comfort you till you sleep or be Jeff the killer

21:Ah yes blackmail the best way to negotiate

22:feel’s like i’ve zoned out while reading this

23:Wheres the TL;DR because i just stopped at Hi!

24:Yea you lost me im in Stratosphere

25:* eats vomit cutely *

26:I still question both of our sanity

27:When they call me baby girl

28: thats stupid bitches tok

29:I mean wouldnt it be cool that your ex is the moon

30:do you even sleep

31:The only people i hate are real people

32:I use the happy emojis all the time they all look dead inside

33:Social anxiety isn’t pog

34:WHOS GONNE GRAB THE BIG ASS COIN OFF HIS FORHEAD

35:MEOWTH SALAD

36:i thought Jessie and James were gay

37:Its called insomnia

38: Hermione is holding me at gun point

39:Is kicking someone a team sport?

40:what part of asl with out sign do you not get

41:kiddo but an insult

42:i was gonne say i watched Luca but damn do you need therapy

43: knew all that trauma would pay off one day

44:imagine not having fangs 🤡

45: being stupid is my job you cant take it from me

46:the whole world hates England

47:okay but arson would be so much fun

48:Do i rly sond like a dog when i say things out loud

49:THEY MADE ME LIVE AND THATS A HATE CRIME ON ME

50:I mean zeus is a whore

51:So we got bad bitch and better bitch making up the baby girl squad

52:Sometimes I challenge how much i can disappoint my ancestors

53:Ghost be judgin while i hit that rennagade

54:Fuck ✨ grammar ✨

55:KNEW YOU WERE A BEAVER

56:Probs an alligator too

57:this blog could always be *cursive rainbow* gayer

58:ah,pintrest my love,my pride,my joy THE FUCKING BANE OF MY EXISTENCE FUCK YOU I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO DIE A PAINFUL DEATH

59:✨ alcohol ✨

60:Kiddo go to drugs dont do school

61::i still have trauma from the zebra cardigan

62:yes YES BE THE GAYS YOU NEED TO BE

63:aww thats so gay 🥺

64:hol’ on a god damn fucking second…this shit gay

65:am i turning straight?

66:you broke your fucking plant this better be worth it

67:i have two moods ���i wanna die” and ✨gay✨

68:they look like shit but they can look like shit together

69:nice 😏(i never said this or wrote this before just sayin’ its nice)

70:fuck you (affectionate) [is it weird that i said that at least 20 times]

71: fuck you……TAKE MY LIKES

72:we can capitalize off of your dog

73:oh shit i thought that was elsa jumping off of that bridge she made

74:wait are you implying they’re the last non binary orange

75:i might die for the third time now

76:are you god? I mean sans undertale profile pic but still are you god?

77:heh gæ

78:when i sleep i sleep

79:i will not tolerate dead memes in my class room unless its doge

80:he looks so cute but damn do i want to kill him

81:people are just too damn kinky these days

82:so this is what it feels like to have attachment issues

83:But Etida u e-mol-Dionizijo Aguado my beloved

84:I like it just my brains too small to comprehend it

85:shes a sexist feminist in the making

86:i want a mineta x death fic

87:they’ll plan my funeral…add saxobeat

88:a-am i a-a child?!?

89:hey girl you a flashbomb cus you bright

90:hey girl is your gender water cus its fluid

91:Ok im actually proud of that one i better not hear a cricket

92:okay now he looks like an emo boy

93:Yea my will to live is as low as my self esteem

94:can someone plan my funeral yea i know its wedding galore same thing

95:remembering that time i called saiki a tsundere bitch

96:* call me by your name starts playing* NOT AGAIN

97:i may have “i kicked a child” as one of my names but you’re a monster

98:DEATH IS A RACE AND I WANNA WIN

99:Bye :] , wtf?

100:GO CATBOY GO(00:03 am)

101:you know i have a pain tolerance of

102:I kin that emoji

103:That blood stain looks like a pp

104: am i too middle school

105:I feel like my sass level has risen

106:OH! PROCRASTINATION

107:nah i kinda wanna continue to write my raid shadow legends x reader fic

108:plus my confidence is as low as my will to live

109: who wants to have the honour of killing me

110:great mind think alike but also wt

I-

Wow-

FIC: The Rose and the Thorn: Chapter 7 (Mafia AU)

Summary: Rus is getting to wake up and face a new day. A shame that staying in bed and hiding sounds like a better option.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Mafia AU, Flower Shop AU, Violence, First Meetings

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

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Read on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

It felt like he’d hardly slept at all when Blue shook him awake. Rus floundered in the tangled sheets, struggling to sit up as he blinked in confusion at the unfamiliar room. Then everything came back in a rush and Rus very nearly dove back beneath the blankets, the better to hide from his own stupidity. Might have even made it if Blue hadn’t exclaimed in surprise, catching him up in his short, sturdy arms.

“Easy, little brother,” Blue crooned. He petted Rus’s skull, fingers moving in soothing, gentle pats. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“it’s okay,” Rus croaked out and he gave in to the childish urge to lean into his brother’s embrace, taking the comfort he freely offered. “just a little jumpy, i guess.”

Blue held on a few moments longer before easing away, “I should have let you sleep,” he fretted. “after everything that happened, you need your rest, you didn’t even stir when the butler knocked on the door, I should have—”

“bro, i’m fine,” Rus interrupted, “you just startled me.” He proved it by squirming free of the blankets and climbing out of the bed to his feet, and if he was a little wobbly, eh, he caught his balance quickly enough. He was about to escape to the bathroom to shower, a combo guaranteed to put off conversation and let him wake up a little more, when he saw the new addition to their room of a neatly folded stack of clothes on the little coffee table by the sofa. A look at his brother confirmed he was already dressed in a pair of trousers and a fine shirt, the lovely floral pattern shades of blue and yellow to match his starry eye lights.

He looked charmingly handsome and that was not an outfit that had ever been in his brother’s closet.

“that’s a different look for you, bro,” Rus said warily.

“Yes, well.” Blue smoothed a hand down the front of his shirt, fingering the pearl buttons. “We’ve been invited to breakfast with our hosts,” Blue said brightly. “That’s the only reason I wanted to wake you up. They’re expecting us in a half an hour, and I wanted to give you time to get ready.”

Time to get ready? An entire half an hour to prepare himself to see Edge after last night’s catastrophe. Something of his dismay must’ve shown on his face and Blue’s overbright cheer faltered, his expression torn. Probably caught between the worry of insulting their ‘hosts’ and Rus’s state of mind.

Yeah, right now his state of mind was up for reelection. A hysterical laugh tried to bubble out of his throat as Rus backed away, feebly disguised as a cough. “no prob, bro, i’ll be fast in the shower.”

He didn’t give Blue a chance to say anything else, like maybe try to send him back to bed with an offer to make excuses for Rus’s absence. Didn’t he have enough to worry about right now without fretting that his little bro was going to embarrass him in front of their new…what? Business partner? Seemed like a good a title as any and Rus snatched up the pile of clothes without even looking at it and darted into the shower, closing and locking the door behind him.

The bathroom gave him a pause, jarring him from his creeping panic. All gleaming fixtures and shining porcelain tiles, with a row of soaps and gels sitting invitingly on the back of the counter. A peek in one of the drawers revealed plenty of other toiletries, including several unopened toothbrushes. The shower cubical was even better, instead of one shower head, the massive stall was lined with several coming from all angles, ready to hose down whoever dared step inside. The walls were beaded with water, probably from Blue using it and Rus stifled a giggle to think of his rather petite brother using it, trying not to get washed away like a paper boat in a hurricane.

Was there anything in this place that wasn’t turned up to eleven?

Rus set down the stack of clothes on the counter and snagged a toothbrush along with the shower gel that smelled the least offensive. The nightshirt he stripped off and tossed into a handy hamper, he’d sleep bare ass tonight if he had to, rather than wear that piece of failure again. He fiddled with the knobs until he figured out how to get to the hot water, then stepped in, letting the liquid bliss pour down on him and guiltily basking in the seemingly endless fall of hot water that their rickety old water heater couldn’t have come close to.

He probably could’ve stayed an hour without the chill chasing him out, but he’d promised his brother to be quick. So he stripped the plastic off the toothbrush, scrubbing at his pearly whites and using the shower as an impromptu water pick, then switching over to the bath poof and shower gel, determinedly scrubbing every nook and cranny, all the way down to his toe joints. It was just a shame that getting clean didn’t take up nearly as much of his thought process as he needed to keep his mind blank and memories of last night crept in, jabbing gleefully at him.

What had he even been thinking? The stress of everything that happened yesterday must’ve torpedoed his common sense, because seriously, trying to seduce Edge in the hopes it would get them, what, a little security and an extra promise to help, on top of what he’d already done? Trust was a hard-earned commodity, Above or Belowground, but if he stirred a little critical thinking into his thought process, there was proof that Edge wasn’t exactly untrustworthy. Not yet, anyway.

The whole shooting up their shop and Rus getting kidnapped off the street was Edge’s fault, sure, he’d admitted that much, but, honestly, Edge could’ve walked away at anytime already. He’d saved Rus at the shop, sure, but he could’ve let his brother get away with his little threat session without trying to intercede, could’ve let his old buddy Blaze keep Rus and not endangered himself at all getting him out of there.

Edge said he wasn’t a good guy and maybe, okay, probably that was true, but that wasn’t exactly the side he’d been showing Rus, not quite. He’d been trying to clean up the mess he’d accidentally made and here was Rus, trying to barter for a little extra on the side. The more he thought about it, the more humiliating it was; he’d actually tried to…to sell himself to Edge, a guy who could obviously get sex anytime he wanted, just because he’d confessed to having a bit of a fantasy going about him, like Rus wasn’t guilty of the same sort of idle daydream.

A very bad person, he’d said, but he’d still sent Rus away rather than taking what he was offering, and maybe the whys of that weren’t completely clear, but that didn’t seem like something a bad guy would do. It just didn’t.

Which meant that Rus was the asshole for this round and what he wouldn’t give for a damn cigarette right about now. Nicotine cravings were already making him jittery, but his smokes were in his lost bag. That reminder gave him a pang; he was going to miss all those anime pins, he’d been collecting them since before they got to the surface. Kidnapping was one thing, stealing his hard-found collectibles was another level of jerk.

Well, no matter what Edge’s reasons were for turning him down, all Rus could hope was that he had the decency not to bring it up in front of Blue.

Rus shut the water off, snagging a large, fluffy towel to wipe off. His bones were barely dry as he stepped out onto the bathmat, careful not to slip. A concussion on top of everything was all he needed.

He hung the damp towel up next to his brother’s and inspected the clothes in the stack. As suspected, they were new, every item of it down to the undershorts and socks. Not his normal choice of wardrobe; when he wasn’t at the shop Rus normally preferred T-shirts and shorts, and there was a plentiful cheap supply at the local thrift shop. He wasn’t really used to anyone else picking out his underwear and he debated on whether to leave them off before sighing and skimming on the soft cotton shorts. At least it wasn’t a red satin thong or something, he wasn’t sure he could stand sitting in the same room with that Red guy with something like that trying to saw his pelvis in half.

The dark trousers fitted perfectly and so did the soft linen pullover, not the wine color of last night’s borrowed pajamas, but a deep sage green that contrasted nicely with his magic. Everything was exactly the right size and as odd as that was, Rus supposed it was still better than them raiding their house and going through their drawers. But he did wonder glumly how much this might add to their growing tab.

There was a full-length mirror on one wall and Rus looked into it, studying his reflection. He didn’t look like himself, which was fine, because he damn well didn’t feel like himself, either. Probably hadn’t since Edge jumped the counter at the shop and pulled him down to the floor.

His half-hour was about up, there was no putting it off any longer. Blue looked up anxiously when he came out and Rus summoned up his best cheesy grin and struck a pose, “ta-da, how do i look?”

“Very nice,” Blue told him, even as he gestured at Rus to lean down so he could fuss over his collar, smoothing it. “try not to spill anything down the front of it in the first five minutes?”

“do my best, food and gravity don’t always mix well around me.”

He followed his brother to the door where a comfortable pair of house shoes in his size were lined up neatly to the side waiting for him. Not, Rus noted, the kind meant to be worn outside. His own sneakers were nowhere to be seen and yeah, he could take a hint. ‘Stay put’ was the word, for now.

A Dog was standing guard outside the door and Rus was shamefully relieved that it wasn’t the same guy as last night. He led them on another winding path and seriously, did the guy who designed this place go on to find fame and fortune making labyrinths for other Goblin Kings?

The door he led them to opened into a surprisingly airy room, with windowed French doors letting in the morning sunshine. Red was already seated at the head of a table and the cigar in his hand was thankfully unlit. His gold tooth glinted as he grinned, “mornin’, hope ya slept well.”

“We did, thank you,” Blue said. Rus only nodded along with him. He still wasn’t very interested in getting chatty with Mister ‘make it a double’ over there. If Edge really was as bad as he claimed to be, Rus could sure see where he picked it up from.

The table was long, topped in covered trays and platters, and the second Blue and Rus were seated, the lids were whisked away by the Dogs. Rus kinda thought he was getting to his limits of surprise, but it seemed like he still had some stashed away for a special occasion.

The amount of food laid out was staggering; surrounding the crystal goblets of water and orange juice were bowls of prettily cut fruit, a platter of sticky pastries alongside crusty croissants. More plates that held richly browned sausages and crispy bacon, and there was an entire tray pancakes and waffles snuggled next to each other with a steaming pitcher of syrup beside them. Pan-grilled tomatoes, poached eggs nestled into their cups, this was more food than they saw in a week. Every dish held something delectable and Rus wasn’t sure his roiling magic would let him eat a single bite.

Looked like the dial on this place actually went all the way up to twelve.

“Goodness,” Blue said, a little helplessly, “it certainly looks delicious.”

There was an air of something like smugness around Red, as if their obvious surprise pleased him, “eh, wasn’t sure what you liked, so i had ‘em bring in a lil’ of everythin’.”

A little of everything was one way to put it. Normally, a good breakfast in Rus’s opinion was when Blue splurged on the oatmeal with the dinosaur eggs.

Red picked up his fork and gestured at the table. “go ahead, dig in while it’s hot.”

Blue tucked his napkin into his lap first in that exaggerated way he did things that he expected Rus to mimic. “Shouldn’t we wait for your brother?”

“nah,” And Rus wasn’t sure why he was bothering with a napkin when it was clear their host didn’t mind talking around a mouthful of sausage. He at least swallowed before he added, “i shook him outta bed a bit ago, he’ll be down.”

That seemed to be enough to satisfy Blue’s sense of propriety. He began to fill his plate, taking a small portion from each tray. Rus only chose one of the pastries that had a quivering dollop of jam on top so that he had something to pick at, hyperaware of the way Red was watching them.

It made Rus think of a horror movie he’d seen, where a pale man hung around waiting for anyone who dared eat from his banquet and those that did paid the price for it with their lives.

Yeah, whatever, Red was no pale man, no eldritch horror. He was a thug playing dress up to impress them for some damn reason, trying to show off how much better he was. Wasn’t gonna work on Rus, thanks, Blue had twice the manners of this asshole, and when Red’s supposedly well-paid servants were scraping all this into the trash, Blue would still be the one who spent hours making cookies for the neighborhood kids in his rare time off.

Defiantly, Rus took a huge bite of pastry, cheekbones puffing out and Blue didn’t even have a chance to kick him in the knee for his manners when the door was flung open and Edge stalked inside.

“morning, bro,” Red said easily. Edge only gave a surly grunt in return, heading right to the sidebar where a gleaming machine with too many dials and knobs sat. A few twists and clicks, and it started gurgling, filling the air with the gorgeous aroma of coffee and if it weren’t for the awkward ending to how Rus tried to get into Edge’s pants last night, he would have crawled over the table with a cup held out in a modern take on ‘please sir can I have some more’.

Look, he couldn’t be bought with fancy clothes or food, but coffee was on a different playing field.

Since that wasn’t on the table, (heh), instead Rus chewed frantically, still trying to gulp down his overflowing mouthful of dry pastry when Edge turned around with a freshly filled cup in hand. He nearly choked on his first sip as he caught sight of the table, swinging around to give his brother a positively scathing glare.

Ah. Looked like maybe Red neglected to mention they’d be here. Great.

“Good morning,” Edge said, scowling into his cup. He was already impeccably dressed in one of those suits of his, but the normal rasp in his voice was downright hoarse and beneath his sockets were rusty stains of exhaustion. He didn’t look like he’d slept two winks after Rus left him last night.

“are you—” okay, Rus didn’t say, looked back down at his plate. Like he had any right to ask Edge anything after what he did.

Turned out, he wasn’t the only one concerned. Blue never ignored a chance to play caretaker and he was all but standing in his chair, leaning across the table anxiously. “I hope you don’t mind me saying so, Edge, but you look a touch under the weather, are you feeling all right?”

“I’m afraid it’s self-inflicted,” Edge said. He took another long sip from his mug, clearing his throat before adding smoothly, “My apologies, I had a little too much to drink last night.”

That only seemed to up Blue’s concern, probably worrying it was their fault Edge was spending his night drinking, which, well, it sort of was. At least half their fault, anyway, and Rus stared hard at his plate where the bitten pastry was oozing jam like a wound.

“But self-inflicted doesn’t mean you need to suffer,” Blue objected. “I know how to heal, I could—”

“Thank you,” Edge interrupted firmly, “but no.”

“It’s no trouble at all!”

“I’m sure it’s not. I appreciate the offer, but it won’t be necessary.”

“But—"

Rus kept his head down, picking flecks of sugar glaze off his wounded pastry as he waited for Edge’s immovable object to stop butting against Blue’s unstoppable force. A wary glance at Red showed him leaning back in his seat with his hands woven together over his belly, watching the show.

Yeah, he seemed like the kind of guy to think this was hilarious and considering that their height difference made Blue the metaphorical dachshund barking at the great dane’s ankles, Rus had to admit, Red sort of had a point. This time.

Blue looked as if he were chewing on his own tongue instead of a pancake, complaining, “If I could get to my garden, I’d at least make you some tea. It’s my own blend!”

Tea wasn’t a bad idea, really, not nearly as invasive as letting someone use their own magic directly on you. Golden flower tea, infused with the magic Blue used to tend to their gardens and like all Monster food, it had healing qualities. Rus knew from personal experience it tended to be quite potent.

“Coffee will suffice,” Edge said decisively and that seemed to be the end of it.

“Well, at least sit down and get some food in you. It’s been a while since my brother and I had a chance to share breakfast,” Blue said brightly. “He’s usually off to open the shop while I tend to the garden, it’s been mostly cold cereal for us, I’m afraid.”

“All I want is coffee, I need to get downtown.”

Red spoke up at then, “that ain’t no way to treat your guests.”

“We don’t have guests,” Edge snapped.

“no?” Red let out a short, abrupt laugh, though his glittering eye lights held no humor. “you got a better name, bro?”

Rus had a few. Prisoners, kidnappees, captives? Hostages? None of those seemed to quite fit the bill and maybe Edge was thinking the same thing. “I brought one guest. The other is here entirely because of you, so I believe entertainment is your purview.”

“only fair for me to have a pal if you do.”

“Yes, fair,” Edge said dryly. “Fairness is always a concern of yours.”

“hey.” That tone made Rus want to sit up straight and cringe at the same time, iron-hard. “have a seat, boss.”

Boss? Rus gave up on his attempt to blend into the furniture and looked up, reluctantly curious. Red caught him out almost instantly and his cool glare shifted to an easy, lazy grin.

“don’t need to be so surprised, sweetheart, edge is the one who runs things ‘round here,” Red said lazily. “i do this and that, let him handle th’ important shit. always was fuckin’ terrible at paperwork.”

Next to him, Blue was chewing determinedly, stabbing at his sausages with his fork. It was probably killing him not to chide Red about his language, but he was also their host. Torn between one set of manners and another left him at a silent impasse.

Edge gave his brother another scathing glare but didn’t argue. “I need to get to work.”

He set his coffee cup down on the side of the table with a solid thunk, turning towards the door, and he was going to leave, heading out when he wasn’t at his best where there were people trying to kill him and Rus wouldn’t even have a chance to say anything, to explain, he couldn’t—

“i’m sorry!” Rus blurted out as he shot to his feet, knocking against the table hard enough to rattle the glasses and flatware. “i’m so sorry, for last night. i didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Edge froze. Slowly, he turned back to face Rus, looking down at him and Rus met that unwavering crimson gaze without flinching, despite the frantic pounding in his soul. He wasn’t good at this, not with apologies or confrontation; he’d rather go hide and smoke through a pack of cheap Marlboros until he was sick while wishing for this to all go away. But he couldn’t let Edge go out there thinking…well, thinking whatever he did about Rus. By now he had to be catching on to the fact that his fantasies weren’t anything close to Rus’s reality and that was what it was, but at least Rus wanted that reality to be the truth and not tainted by one thoughtless act.

Edge looked away first, flicking a glance at Blue and Red, both who were watching with varying levels of narrow confusion.

“Forthright,” Edge murmured. His tight, cold expression eased, softening, “I’m sorry, too, flower shop. I was a little drunk, and I shouldn’t have,” his gaze flicked again to Red, who was watching with brow bones climbing ever higher on his forehead, and Blue, who was full out gaping, mouth open. Whatever he’d been about to say was amended smoothly to, “Shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“okay, so we’re both sorry. that’s…that’s good.” Rus smiled a little, stupidly. It wasn’t like this solved anything or changed it. It still made that hard ache behind his breastbone loosen, gave him some measure of ease.

That faint, lopsided smile curving Edge’s mouth was even better. Rus braced himself when Edge reached out, then he watched in confusion as Edge plucked up a napkin, dabbing lightly at the side of Rus’s mouth. “Jam,” he said, as if in explanation. As though anything could explain the way he paused with his knuckles lightly resting against Rus’s chin, his gloved thumb following along the same path as the napkin, “Behave while I’m gone. I’m running low on rescues.”

It took a second for that to get through the warm, fuzzy haze settling over Rus, brought on by the gentle touch against his mouth. When it did, he stood up straighter in pure indignation, protesting, “i wasn’t misbehaving before!”

“No, you weren’t,” Edge agreed. “But somehow, you’ve already figured out how to cause me plenty of trouble, I’d hate to see what you manage if you actually tried.”

Rus swore he could feel the husky rumble of that voice through Edge’s touch, but it was another voice that broke the spell, this one as jagged as broken glass.

“thought you were leavin', boss,” Red sounded perturbed and he seemed to have forgotten his quest to get Edge to sit down to breakfast with them.

Edge said nothing. There was only a last brush of his gloved fingers across Rus’s cheekbone, satin-soft over the lingering bruise. Then he turned on his heel and walked out, leaving Rus alone with an outraged Red and his own suspicious brother.

Rude. Guess rescues didn’t include from family.

Welp, Edge might like to play the knight in tarnished armor, but for Rus, he was going with abject cowardice. He started filling his plate with food, ignoring the way Edge’s cologne seemed to cling to where he’d touched and replaced that aroma with tasty bacon.

“this’s really good,” Rus said around a mouthful, risking his brother’s wrath as he shoveled in another bite. If he kept eating, he couldn’t say anything stupid.

It was worth a shot.

Edge’s half-filled coffee cup was still sitting on the table and with a mental shrug Rus stole it, downing the bitter blackness in a shuddering gulp. Waste not the caffeine. He had a feeling from the way Red and Blue were still staring at him that he was probably gonna need all the help he could get.

tbc

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JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

Survey #393

i’ve got a shitload of surveys backed up, so... get ready, aha.

Have you ever watched the show Bad Girls Club? No, but I adore the Falling In Reverse song, haha. Have you ever purposely made someone jealous? Not to my recollection, no. What kind of shampoo do you use? It's a Dove one for dandruff and I LOVE it. It makes my hair so silky, smells good, and just feels clean longer. Have you ever been told you were a good writer? Not to brag, but I've been told that my whole life. What name do you think is pretty for a girl? "Alessandra" will ALWAYS be my favorite name. If you had to name your daughter after a Disney princess, which one? Hm. Perhaps Jasmine, or maybe Aurora. Do you think telepathy is real? Nope. When you were little, did you ever think you would be a magician? Not seriously, no, but I was OBSESSED with those little magic kits you could get at the Scholastic book faire. What is your opinion on poetry? It's a beautiful way of expression, and I especially love the figurative approach to it. I truly think writing poetry can even help discover things about yourself. What, if any, TV shows do you have on DVD? I have seasons 1-4 of Meerkat Manor, and you can bet your ass I'll get Season 5 once that's available in that format! Would you rather go in a hot air balloon or go sky diving? Hot air balloon, probs. I'm too scared of sky diving. Homework–would you rather do it on a Friday or Sunday? Friday. I like to get it out of the way the day it's assigned. What cartoon character did you have a crush on as a kid? Ash Ketchum, haha. What video games have you beaten? Loads and loads. Who makes the most in your entire family? I actually don't know. Probably Ashley? She's a mammographer, along with other duties. If a cosmetology class was offered at your school, would you take it? No. Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal? If it's done safely and not overdone to the point it affects your health, you damn well go for it if it helps your self-confidence. Your favourite meal growing up? Spaghetti, or as I called it, "psghetti," haha. How many bedrooms in the house you live in? Three. What link was the closest person to you that’s died? If we're talking humans, Jason's mom. If you wanna include any living being, then absolutely my dog Teddy. Anything about your mum that annoys you? She is ALWAYS right. Doesn't matter what it is. What meal that your mum cooks is your favourite? I don't know. Have you ever tried caviar? Can you explain the taste to me? HELL no. What, in your opinion, will cause the end of the world? The universe itself is infinite. If we're talking Earth, completely eliminated, either a gamma ray or black hole. If your siblings are old enough, what do they do for work? I mentioned Ashley already, and Nicole is a social worker with children. I actually don't remember what my half-siblings do for work. Have you ever been jealous of your siblings? I've been envious of them for sure, absolutely. They're actually doing shit with their lives and seem to have themselves figured out. I gotta admit I'm jealous of how close Ash and Nicole are, too. I want to be the third person, but I'm just... not. We're so very different that it's hard to get as close as I want. Do you prefer a proper restaurant to a fast food place? Depends on what I'm feeling of course, but I think like most people, I have a more quality experience at sit-in restaurants. What is the biggest dream of your life? Photograph and come into physical contact with meerkats (whether they climb on me or I pet them, idc) at the KMP. I WILL cry. What is a country you’d never ever visit? Places like North Korea. Have you ever had any trouble paying your bills? I don't have bills. Do you think life should just hand things to you? No. Would you rather live off government benefits or earn your own money? I desperately want to earn my own money. What type of a survey do you skip altogether? I don't like bolding surveys. I like the opportunity to explain in normal ones like these. Do you get nervous before “meeting the parents”? Yep. Do you own a knife? Not any besides your ordinary kitchen knives. What song do you want played at your funeral? I have a few in mind. "Life is Beautiful" by Sixx A.M. and "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory probably top the list. Do people get shocked by how old you are? I don't know, but probably, given how dependent I am on my parents for like, everything. Do you have any features that people notice right away? As in a mole on your cheek, or a big nose, big teeth, etc? Apparently my lip ring. What's the last compliment you received? The lady that works with me in the TMS office liked my Umbreon shirt. What's the meanest insult you have received? Probably that I'm a martyr (and not in the good way). Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? Yes. Does your best friend approve of the last person you kissed? They're the same person lmao. Do you have any friends with kids? Yes. I feel like most of my FB friends have kids. What was the last thing you spent your money on? I bought my niece her birthday present. Where did you first kiss the last person you kissed? My back porch. Does your favorite song remind you of anybody? Just America in general. Do you have a member of the opposite sex you’ve told everything to? Jason, pretty much. Do you want any tattoos? If yes, what? Oh hunny, I want LOADS. Are promises important to you? YES. Do NOT promise me shit if you're not planning to keep it for sure. If you’re a girl, do you have big hips? Too big? Well, for one, I'm overweight, so. But if you're talking bone structure and spacing or whatever, then no, I'd say they're average. Girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? Who says only girls can wear dresses? But regardless, nope. Have you ever taken a pottery class before? No. Have you ever had a period in your life where you were on a major health kick and you were really picky about what you consumed? A few times. Is there anything that you’d never do for any amount of money? There's a good number of things. Do you know what your next injection will be? No. Does anyone call you darling? If so who? Sara sometimes. If you had to have a cartoon character tattooed to you what would it be? If I had to, maybe Pikachu? It'd be a nostalgia thing. You have to dye your hair two colours, what do you choose? Two colors at once? Maybe a pastel mix of pink and purple. Or black with orange highlights and layers? What a Halloween vibe. Ever had something stolen? If so what? Yeah; our basketball hoop was stolen from our yard when I was younger. Do you feel the water in a pool before you get in, or do you dive right in? I feel it. Have you ever touched a squirrel? No. What's better, candles or incense? Incense! When's the last time you’ve smelled a skunk? I'm actually unsure if I ever have. Have you ever used a Ouija board? No. Have you ever met anyone who claimed to be a witch? Yes. Does it annoy you when high-schoolers wear Elmo bookbags? Why the fuck would I care? Do you go along with prank-callers, or just hang up? I don’t even answer numbers I don’t know. Would you ever tattoo a lover’s name onto your body? No. Do you own any version of Guitar Hero? I have a lot, actually. Do you use mouthwash every single day? No. Have you ever eaten White Castle burgers? Only those you warm up in the microwave. We don't have the actual restaurant here. What’s the weirdest thing in your body that you can crack? Nothing weird. Do you like chocolate milk? Who doesn't? o: Do you know anyone with asthma? Yeah, my mom. Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? Because she's probably asleep, and we mainly chat on Discord now. Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday? Many years ago. Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend? Yeah. Do you want to see somebody right now? Yes. Do you currently have feelings for anybody? Yes. When was the last time you changed in front of someone? I'm not sure; especially with how I feel about my body now, I avoid it like the plague. Realistically though, probably Mom, passing by or something. Who did you last fall asleep with? If you exclude my cat, Sara. Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them? That would be my niece Emerson, and I'd certainly kiss her head. Can you be your complete self around the person you like? She's the only person I feel 110% comfortable being my authentic self around. How many tattoos would you get? I want A LOT. Like, more than I'd keep track of. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None.

Byler hints in the background of s1-3

Honestly, this should just be called- ‘my autistic brain casually (and without even trying) notices shit in the background, but never mentioned it- because I thought it sounded too crazy to talk about’ XD. But the symbolism and Easter eggs give my byler-shipping heart so much life. So I thought, since you guys prob. didn’t notice it- I’ll mention it anyways.  So here goes.

Drawings/rainbows

There has been a theme in s3 about how Mike equates ‘falling for girls’ as a part of growing up, and his feelings for Will as something childish that he has to has to grow out of. 

- confessing to El : “A feeling … yeah, like, something… like OLD PEOPLE say it sometimes”.

- “And Will too. I was thinking we could all have new presents to play with and *scoffs* Sorry, that made me sound like a 7 year old... (apologizing to El)

- Mike getting in a fight with Will (after d&d), and saying they can’t be close anymore: 

Mike says, “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”, and then he tries to ½ apologize only to say, “I’m not trying to be a jerk. Ok? But We’re not kids anymore.” Explaining, this is just the way things are-boys fall in love with girls, get girlfriends, and this is just a part of growing up (heteronormativity).  He tells Will “I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?” And poor Will who is probably more aware of his feelings just responds. “Yeah, I guess I did. I really did.” And of course Mike immediately apologizes for being an “ asshole”, after this.

But here’s the thing! Mike actually does wish he didn’t have to grow up and that he could play games with Will (without girlfriends) for the rest of their lives. His room, in s3, SCREAMS that he’s trying to grow up/act straight... but he can’t let go of his feelings for Will. 

He literally takes down his old childhood poster from s1-2 for a more mature/adult poster. But on the same wall (where the old poster used to be) he hasn’t removed a single d&d drawing Will has given him. He’s pretending that he’s grown out of d&d when Lucas is around- because he’s emulating how (the straight) Lucas acted, all season. But Mike has it BAD (and is seriously pinning) for Will! Like, I love Will but his art at 11 years old isn’t so great to justify it still be on Mike’s wall at age 14.  He’s just that whipped (and literally can’t part with a single drawing Will has ever given him) XD

Like... it’s cannon that Mike caresses Will’s drawings 

He’s that ‘ dumbass blinded by love’ who thinks anything Will’s draws is a perfect- masterpiece. Mike could literally see Will draw scribbles and think it’s amazing! Like in s2 he just guides his hands through the scribbles he drew on the wall- no joke! XD

However, what’s interesting though is the one other things he took down from his wall. In S1 Mike (before he even met El)  has a heart sign, with a red heart being propelled by a rainbow. Yet in s3 , the season where he’s ‘obsessing’ about El- it mysteriously disappears. However, in the first ep of s3 when Mike is making-out with El we see a emergence of the heart being propelled by a rainbow (in El’s room) as a drawing. Probably signifying Mike participating in compulsory-heterosexuality and that no matter how hard he tries- he’s not straight!

So given the fact he can’t part with any of the pictures on the wall...you better believe Mike still has that giant binder filled with every drawing Will has given him . And he’s probably hidden it away , with the rainbow heart sign (because he knows it would look suspicious to have laying around). 

-Also, Mike literally has more rainbow symbolism than Will (and has had it through every season) XD

-the s2 ref being the most on the nose) Forbidden fruit + rainbow = queer forbidden romance. And during the 80s, that rainbow-apple poster in the AV Club was suspected to be in reference to Alan Turning (the gay ‘father of computers’).

Animal easter eggs that relate to byler and the upside down/supernatural-plot .

tigers- Mike keeps a tiger poster (which was right next to that rainbow-heart sign) in his basement through s1-3. In s1 we see Will also has a tiger drawing, which is later put on the wall (like a poster) in s2.  Sara Hopper (like Will ) had her death faked by the government (and had a tiger plushie in s1)- and Kali probably had something to do with it since in the prequel novel ‘suspicious minds’ had Kali talk non stop about her fav animal , tigers.  Theory  here. But again, Jancy is also connected to tigers as a romantic symbol (just like byler).

sharks- The Duffer brothers themselves said they based the s1 demorgorgan off of sharks, which Nancy even references in s1. Mike and Will have shark iconography in their room/basement. Will has a jaws poster shown in s1-2, and Mike has shark toys visible in s2. The shark (and bear) symbolism hint at the fact that Will created the upside down/demorgorgans/mind-flayer using his powers- theory here.

bears- Will since s1 has had bear symbolism around him. Bears symbolically represent  “wisdom” like ‘Will the wise’ and were associated with the demorgorgan/upside down in s1 and 2 as well . Max and Nancy compared demogorgans to bears- and Nancy and Jonathan used a bear-trap to capture a demorgorgan in s1 . 

But s3 made bears a romantic symbol- Mike was going to buy a golden teddy bear for El as a romantic gesture. The golden bear had a bowtie (it’s male). And the gray bear that Mike gives to her, was originally Will’s (as shown in s1 &2). This gray bear is coming right in between Mike and El (at the end of s3). They even kiss , while El presses the bear right in between them.  In conclusion these romantic bears represent Will. * I mean that whole awkward kiss (where Mike’s eyes are open and he doesn’t kiss back- happens in Will’s room, in front of Will’s open closet,  with Will’s bear smushed between them (pretty blatant foreshadowing).

dinosaurs- This one is probably a stretch but we see this boy has tons of dinosaurs (at least 6). He starts to info-dump on El about how much he loves them. But, she has no interest. And if the wtf look didn’t make this obvious.

She even gets up and walks away, ignoring his tangent about dinosaurs. 

She literally couldn’t care less about his interest in them. 

But in spite of this, we see Mike gave her Rory in s3 (since it’s in her bedroom). And in s2 we see him sadly look at Rory, with 2 other dinosaurs in frame. This, along with s1 implies he has a huge collection of various dinosaurs .But his collection is missing one of the most popular dinosaur species... the brachiosaurus (the long necked dinosaur).

And right after this scene in s2 scene, we go to Will’s room. And he has a huge brachiosaurus! This boy couldn’t even afford a halloween costume and had to have his hand-made by his mom... but he could afford this huge -fancy dinosaur replica? I bet Mike bragged about his dinosaur collection to Will (like he did with El). But Will being a nerd, was actually impressed. So Mike actually gave him his best/fav toy in his collection- kind of like what he did with Rory.

frogs- This is the most hilarious thing to me. I laughed for like 20 minutes on my rewatch. In s1 Will has a GIANT stuffed plushie of a frog next to his jaws poster and teddy bear. I’m dead! Will doesn’t even disagree with the “frog face“ insult. 

He’s just like ‘well, he’s my frog face’ . Time to snuggle with this frog that looks just like Mike . Will is so in love but also low key savage dragging Mike like that. I can only imagine Dustin and Lucas saying “nah, you don’t look like a frog”. And poor baby-Mike asking Will what he thinks, and Will not being able to lie, just saying “ Well... some people like frogs.”  XD

We also see that in s2 the frog is missing but the Jaws-poster, coin jar, and the bear (we later see El holding in s3) remain .Probably to indicate this is when Will started to subconsciously suppress his feelings for Mike. Although @theclericwill pointed out -that , instead, Mike may have used the frog-plushie as a pillow... for his frog-face XD

Throwing shade at Mileven/mileven shippers in s2 

In the Montauk pitch (later named Stranger things) they describe the Mike and El dynamic by saying “ If Mike is the Eliot of our show,Eleven is our Et.” (AKA they’re from different planets)

-In s2 , Erica  is forcing He-man and barbie to make out. Lucas angrily separates the two. And then this discussion happens.

Erica: “Hey , They’re in love!”

Lucas (livid- and standing right next to a rainbow): “No, actually,  they’re not. They don’t even exist on the same planet.”

Not to mention I doubt it was a coincident they had a (bratty) pre-pubescent girl be the proxy for most mileven shippers.Like not all mileven shippers are bad, but almost all the toxic ones (that the Duffers have to deal with) are tween girls. And to the Duffers, only a child could think 2 people are ‘in love’ after a week of knowing each other. Or that El could understand such things like romance- given the fact that her and Mike are from different planets (given how El has no experience with the outside world).Mike even says in s2,  he can’t hate Max because he ‘doesn’t know’ her (despite knowing her as long as he knew El). Meaning he doesn’t love El since he doesn’t know her. 

Plus, El told Mike, he treats her like ‘garbage’ and ‘a pet’ . And Finn after s1, said that the Duffers told him Mike thought of El as a puppy, and she is even compared to Dart (a demo-dog in s2). Mike asking Dustin, angrily “What, You have a bond? Just cause he likes nougat (eggos)?” Being a  blatant dig at people obsessing over this shallow aspect of their relationship.

Mileven was also compared to that  of family members. In s1, right before they kissed, she asks “will you be like my brother?” (while wearing Nancy’s dress). And Mike also referred to her as his ‘cousin’ . Not to mention, El loved ted’s laz-eboy chair (and Nancy said Karen and Ted “never loved each other” ). And right before Karen is about to cheat on Ted - she looks at him sleeping in the chair (and the lyrics are ‘I should have walked away’). 

It’s pretty hilarious, since so many people try to ‘no-homo’ byler by saying Mike thinks of Will as a brother/or family- yet, their relationship has never been directly compared to a sibling (unlike mileven).

People also seem to not realize Mike lied in s2 (just like he did in s3). He thought El was dead in s2. He told Max it “got her like it did bob” and then he made a spectacle in front of everyone saying “I never gave up on you”. Which was a blatant lie (since he just told Max a few minutes earlier, she was dead -_-). Mike simply blamed himself for her death (he said they needed her to save Will and even referred to her as a “weapon”). So when she died he felt the most responsible- and was hoping she was alive (and would answer his call) to alleviate his own guilt. Not because he loved her (that was an act). When he saw Will’s dead body, but heard his voice, he went on a rescue mission to save Will (from another dimension). But, Mike didn’t even bother going into the woods after seeing El outside his window (something he did for Will in ep 1, during a storm). And then in s3 Mike couldn’t even bother to call El and apologize- but ran to apologize to Will in the woods during a storm (bringing that whole parallel -full circle).

Plus, El told Mike, he treats her like ‘garbage’ and ‘a pet’ . And Finn after s1, said that the Duffers told him Mike thought of El as a puppy, and she is even compared to Dart (a demo-dog in s2). Mike asking Dustin, angrily “What, You have a bond? Just cause he likes nougat (eggos)?” A blatant dig at people obsessing over this shallow aspect of their relationship.

Bob and Mike parallels- the Rubik cube

Both are unathletic, smart, love comics, the only 2 to not treat Will ‘different’- and would do anything to protect their loved ones. And they also had crushes on Byers in childhood, and tried to give their Byers normalcy (despite them not being a ‘normal family’). They purposely display, and have Will -mirror Joyce- and Mike -mirror Bob- in multiple shots, throughout s2.

And both Mike and Bob are AV club leaders. Bob mentioned in one of the  earlier episodes  that he founded the Hawkins Middle AV club . And Mike later grabs Bob’s Rubik cube, and mentions this after his death (to solidify the connection- even if subconscious in our minds. He even proclaims after this “we can’t let him die in vain” . And this is when Mike makes the plan to help Will (before El shows up). 

gif credit: cath-avery, dailystrangerthings

Ep 9, S1 (i started this a bit later so my apologies)

- BEN HELL YEH I LOVE BEN

- Vanya saying she loves her family and killing Leonard is like the only thing she could have done to be back on my good graces lmao. She still killing Pogo so :/ but now i dont dislike her as much lmaoooo. Will prob end up liking her! Still fucking mad she kills pogo!! (I was spoiled this)

- i fucking hate cha-cha so much. Hope she fucking dies and the poor waitress can find a way to go watch her damn birds

- honestly i liked luther at first. Then he went into my neutral list bc i just wasn’t as invested. Then i liked his dynamic with allison but those moments got reverted in time. Insulting pogo tho? Back to the dog house fuck u ajdjdjdjd only authorities that gave you love were pogo and grace. Do not blame you father’s mistakes on his servants who were both trying to keep their jobs AND FUCKING RAISED YOU.

- i get diego but im annoyed he won’t let them speak. This is why five is my fave sjdjdjd HE MAKES SENSE AND LOVES HIS FAMILY

- someone go talk to vanya god damn it. She’s still not off the hook for me bc she kills pogo tho

- five lecturing diego is my fave sjdjdjd. I love that frantic kid

- i never disliked luther. Either liked him or felt meh. For hurting vanya i dislike him now sjdjdjd. Sir that’s ur sister too even if u dont wanna fuck her. And allison nor any sibling is mad. Who tf are u to make the decision of killing ur own sister??? Even allison would be mad at u for that. Use ur fucking peanut brain.

- whre is five. The only brain cells in this house are held by allison and five. WHY TF DO U THINK IS A GOOD IDEA TO LOCK HER UP??? YOU FUCKING DUMBASS?? Okay he meant to make her pass out so luther is back from my dislike zone but i dont lile him rn. Klaus should understand her trauma and free her. Now she is really gonna think they are against her and cause the apocalypse. Everyone is an IDIOT

- how are all the siblings not okay with it but still going along. He’s just strong they can all take luther to just open the fucking door. This is why five is my fave he would not take this bullshit.

- cha-cha wanting to kill agnes and calling her a whore JUST because she had feelings for hazel and he didn’t return them is the MOST pick me energy i have ever seen. I fucking hate her.

- yeh no shit she was gonna snap. Instead of talking to her you locked her up luther. She is gonna suppose the fucking worst. No fucking shit. The only leader here is five why does anyone listen to luther

- she looks possessed though. If she kills pogo while in a state on possession then i get it i can like vanya in peace if she didnt mean to. However people better fucking mourn pogo for at least a second damn it.

My main issue(s) with KH3

Spoilers abound, so please don’t read if you haven’t beaten the game or don’t want any negative opinions influencing how you see the ending/ the game. I did enjoy several parts of KH3, but this post is focused on things I had issues with, and if you don’t want to see criticism of your media please look elsewhere. 

This is how I interpreted the game as someone coming into KH3 with KH2 being the last game I played, and a playlist of youtube videos spanning lets plays, summaries, and humorous deconstructions as a codex. 

Here’s the thing. I’ve seen several people already break down how KH3′s story and pacing could have been handled better. Specifically, to more comprehensively tie in the 10,000 plot points that needed to be covered in a way that actually helps connect the main characters. I’m not going to get into all of that, because frankly I can’t fake knowing enough about the background lore of Kingdom Hearts to know how to better juggle all of the intermediary games into KH3. 

Most of my grievances honestly lie with the handling of the Destiny Trio and the Disney Worlds. 

I’m going to do a read more on this because it’s gonna be a long one. (Also very much a train of thought, so disorganized, sorry). 

So. Sora. Protagonist of the game (mostly. kind of?). 

A cheerful ray of sunshine.

A Keyblade wielder who has overcome traumatizing ordeals that tore him away from all he loved and knew at least twice now for over three years. 

A continuity disaster stuck being pinballed back and forth between happy goofs and hollow tragedies every thirty minutes in between busywork battles and off-scene disney films for 85% of KH3. 

I understand that Sora’s greatest power is supposed to be his optimism, as it’s sort of the prerequisite for going through disney worlds where people sing about their problems. I get it.  

However, there’s a difference between, “I’m naive and happy and oblivious and that’s why I’m a guardian of the light,” and “I have battled true darkness and felt true loss and decided that choosing to be kind, choosing to embrace joy in new experiences and relationships, is a bigger middle finger to the darkness than anything else.” Guess which one I prefer. Guess which one I was thinking would finally be Sora’s character arc. Instead he’s happy, happy, happy, happy... and then suddenly in the eleventh hour having a mental breakdown. 

Sora is written into a loop every game of kind, naive, but unchanging (”Don’t ever change, Sora”). That was endearing when we were both 14, but after almost twenty years it gets tiring to watch Sora get hit with a reset button every time you meet up with him again. There’s a scene in the gummi ship early on in the games where Donald asks Sora to “take this seriously,” and Goofy remarks that they seem to be stuck in a rut as Donald and Sora have the same conversation over and over again before entering the first series of Disney worlds. Sora knows he needs the power of waking in order to help his friends and free those trapped in his heart, but seems content to just drop into various worlds and wing it, and hope that it all sort of works out. 

And then when it does work out, and Sora uses the power to save everyone, he’s immediately told he’s doomed now? Like, what was the point of him being able to use this to connect with people if he’s doomed. Why did they want him to have this. What’s the point then of Sora having these strong connections. 

Each world makes a big scene about the friendships and connections that Sora makes so easily, but in KH3 there never seems to be enough time for Sora to actually pay them any attention unless the person is right in front of him. Sora seems to make connections for the sake of making connections in KH3, and the ones he has, he does very little to advance or reconnect with.  

Like, the whole point of 100 Acre Wood this time was apparently that Sora’s connection to Pooh was weaker for some reason. I honestly didn’t understand the reason or how it was magically resolved just from Sora showing up and saying hi? But whatever. 

My two least favorite worlds were Corona and Arendelle, for the same reason. There was no believable connection between Sora and the characters there. For fuck’s sake, the combat ally you get in Arendelle is the snow monster, not even a main character.

Sora is like the living embodiment of the B99 clip of Rosa with her dog. He just met Elsa and spoke a whopping five sentences to her, but damn if he won’t climb a mountain five times just for her to save herself without ever talking to him again. Like, literally that is the only interaction Sora has with Elsa. Same thing with Anna, and in her case I literally had to mute my tv so I could track what she was actually saying since they decided to shove two songs from the movie into this game.  

You spend the majority of your time in these worlds trying to play catch up to the leads as they have their movie play out around the bend in the road in front of you, out of your sight. Props to Disney’s ego that they think I remember the beat by beat plots of their films when they came out 9 years ago (Tangled) and 6 years ago (Frozen). I actually had the thought of going and watching Tangled just to remember what Flynn and Rapunzel got up to while Sora wandered around a marsh and had a pointless conversation with Marluxia. 

(Also, getting real tired of the “Good to see you Sora” “Who the fuck are you?” “Oh that’s right you don’t remember that game haha it’s fine it was a gameboy game nobody even knows what those are anymore.” That shit was getting old midway through KH2.) 

To be fair, the PoTC world suffers from the same problem as the other two. Sora shows up, sees everyone for thirty seconds, gets separated, and while we’re dicking around trying to find white crabs on the islands there’s a whole movie going on that we don’t see or participate in. I feel really bad for anyone who did not keep up with that franchise because I only watched the third movie the once and I was confused as hell. Also, the whole time I was finding the crabs in Port Royal all I could think about was this ProZD video. 

I just. I’m 26 years old. These movies hold no nostalgia for me, and maybe that’s the problem. I already had a connection to Aladdin, Peter Pan, etc, so I was maybe more willing to suspend my disbelief and just enjoy the interactions. But those Disney worlds also felt more tied in to the plot. You can make the argument of Marluxia and Larxene putting pressure on Sora to find the Wayfinders so that six princesses of heart aren’t used as backup... but where are the other three? Anna, Elsa, Rapunzel, and Kairi make four. Where’s Merida, Tiana, Moana? Mulan or Pocahontas even, since Moana was probably too recent. (But probs not, as it was probably starting development in 2014). If that’s going to be yet another subplot, shouldn’t you at least see it through?  

My point is, I can distinctly recall prior games mostly keeping to the established script in the disney worlds, but still letting Sora really get in there and interact with the characters. The heartless, nobodies, etc were a real wrench in the works for the plots, and had an actual effect on how the story was told and the order of events. Sora felt more involved in cutscenes and was an active participant in the world’s events instead of just a bystander. 

In KH1 and KH2 there was a dialogue happening between the villain of each world and a greater evil. Hell, in KH1 they were a unified council! In KH3 they’re puppets who don’t even talk to the bigger bad like Randall or Mother Gothel, or are there for a whopping thirty seconds like Hans. It makes it more and more obvious that the Disney worlds are just being shoehorned in as a contractual obligation than for any real purpose anymore.

 The only world that’s appeared in all three games, Olympus, was especially jarring. Like, you could tell there was a lot of corners cut on what VAs they could get for this game, as Phil does not speak once. Meg spends more time making eyes at Hercules and nodding than showing any of the sass she has from the film. (This was a thing in KH2 as well tho so I can’t complain about them continuing to drop the ball on even background women characters-- Oh wait, I can, because they’ve had T H I R T E E N YEARS to get it right.) 

Which I guess is as good a segue as any into Kairi Time. 

Listen. Did I mention I’m 26? Yeah. I started reading fanfic on livejournal. I was there when AO3 first got its start. I’ve seen the shipping wars. I know the dark past of Soriku vs Sokai.

I couldn’t give less of a fuck. 

These characters are still 16 and I am now 26. I’m fine with them trading noogies and maybe being able to kick back and play some Mario Kart. Kairi would wipe the floor with both of them because she had time to get good enough to beat Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie combined between KH1 and KH2. 

The point is, I don't care one way or the other about shipping. If my 15 year old self were here, they would be horrified I wasn't over the moon when Kairi and Sora finally shared the paopu fruit. As it is, I kind of stared blankly at my screen and went 'huh, there's gonna be a lot of fanfic fixing this moment.'  From both sides, I think, because even if you're into Sokai you gotta admit that moment did not feel romantic. It felt forced. Like "Oh hey, we've been putting this off, huh. Welp, here we go!" 

It doesn't help that I really, truly, don't like whoever Kairi's VA is in this game. Like, she sounds so ditzy and soft. Get that shit out of here. The dialogue and voice acting in this series has never been its strength, but honestly, I cringed my way through every interaction between Kairi and Axel because of how stilted and bad their conversations were! I’m definitely not saying that Kairi’s voice was stellar in 1 and 2, but at least her voice was clear, and had personality, and by the end of 2 was actually fairly strong. She sounded strong, and determined to be fighting with Sora and Riku, green as she was then, in the World That Never Was.

Whenever she talked in the third one I just sort of grit my teeth and wondered why someone on the production team wanted Kairi to sound so weak. 

Then they killed her at the labyrinth and I said, ‘Ah, that tracks.’ 

I played FFXV, so I guess shame on me for not seeing the signs when the girl love interest is about to be capable and not needing the hero to save her. She gets taken! And killed. Fool me twice, shame on me. 

I actually saw people excited about that Verum Rex thing and after seeing the Noctis ripoff reaching for the Luna ripoff covered in purple light I laughed, and laughed. And then sighed and reached for a stiff drink. 

All this to say that while I’m angry but not truly surprised that Kairi was once again shafted, I’m all the more pissed that they did it in the laziest, most insulting way possible by hinging it all on Sora needing a reason to fight Xehanort. Like, really???? Really. That’s your angle. The man-pain trope is so painfully overdone. Please. It’s 2019. Come into the future with us, Nomura. 

And I feel bad that all of the stuff I just wrote mostly revolves around Kairi being Sora’s romantic interest. But that’s because that’s all this game allowed her to be! Princess of light what? Bequeathed Keyblade wielder in her own right who??? Every battle she and Axel share with Sora they get their asses kicked in 30 seconds flat, so maybe Merlin should have left them suspended in time a little longer. Maybe long enough to convince someone out there in the universe that these two deserved to be competent. 

Hell, not just competent. Amazing. Kairi deserved to be able to stand on her own two feet and hold her own. To be running alongside her boys and not just be an object for them to tussle over or save. As Aqua’s somewhat successor, she deserved to be a terrifying wielder of battle magicks and flurries of light magic. 

To be replaced by Xion was just insult to injury. Like, I’m very happy that Xion got her heart back and was reunited with Roxas and Axel, but she didn’t need to be brought back at Kairi’s expense. The world won’t implode if the replica and actual person inhabit the same space. 

Which is leads us to our third member. 

Riku. To be fair. Riku got the most growth as a person out of the three of these kids, easy. We finally see a Riku who is confident in himself and his journey, and willing to take everything he learned along the way to help Mickey, Aqua, and even his own replica. However.... 

He doesn’t seem to give two shits about Kairi anymore? Did they even talk, like, once during the whole game? I can’t recall a single instance where Sora, Kairi, and Riku were in the same place together where it was just them, and they held an actual conversation. Hell, where they even said “Hi, how’s it going? What have you learned, had any good food lately?” 

God, even when Kairi was taken, and then when she was killed, Riku had one moment of anger, and then was completely, like, chill again, and back to talking Sora down. Like, what? I don’t want any love triangle bullshit, but Riku and Kairi were friends as much as Sora and Kairi and Sora and Riku are friends. 

And that’s what bothered me the most about the disappearance of Kairi introducing this bullshit narrative of Sora abusing his power of waking. He spent two games trying to get him, Riku, and Kairi together. But he doesn’t want Riku to help him get Kairi back? And Riku’s just going to let him go?! After all Riku has done and learned about falling to darkness and clawing yourself back to light and peace, he’s just going to let Sora do the same?

I call bullshit. 

And this is why when Sora suddenly faded out of view on the beach next to Kairi I slowly leaned back in my chair, dropped my controller into my lap, and flipped off my tv screen with both hands.

Tie-d to You

Here's some hurt/comfort of my favorite glasses gays. This is based off of a prompt that @sidespromptblog made about how Logan hates his tie, but because he thinks, "that's what serious people wear," he wears it.

Ships: Romantic Logicality, Paternal Analogical/Moxiety, background Romantic Prinxiety

TW: Self deprecation, vivid descriptions of suffocation, swearing, small sexual innuendos, mention of Deceit

Length: IDK probs 2,000-3,000 words

---

The tie taunted Logan.

The tie that always resided on his collar, draped across his chest in a fashion that flattered him almost perfectly. The tie that was sleek, patterned both satisfyingly and equally, navy blue on cobalt. The tie that he would twist in his hands when nervous or adjusted when he was bored, flustered, or didn't know what to do.

Logan hated it.

He wanted to rip it off him, to unwrap it around his neck and throw it on the floor and stomp on it. He couldn't take it, the constricting fabric seemingly heavy and tight on his neck, how it made him sweat and focus on his breathing to force himself to work through something, how it smelled so clean and fresh and bland. The best way to describe the way the tie felt to Logan was black.

It was piercing, void, heavy, unsettling, seeping. It was pointed, sharp, eye-opening, silent, distraught. It was callouse, deep, creepy, dawning. It was frustration. It was heat. It was primal.

But Logan still wore that god forsaken tie.

Because that's what serious people like him wear. Without it, he knew he was nothing. Everyone barely took him seriously already; if he didn't have his tie, then all hope would be lost. He'd be the annoying know-it-all with an affinity with the word 'falsehood' and never be able to snatch the heart of his secretly dearly beloved Patton. Without it, Patton wouldn't respect him and see him as a worthy person to love, he'd be tossed insults and nicknames from Roman, and Virgil would no longer find that solice and solidarity that he usually felt with Logan around.

Without the tie, the three would despise him, like how he despised the tie. Logan couldn't help but irk at how ironic and utterly disgusting his situation was.

Thankfully, the tie did improve their relationships with Logan. Virgil opened up to him when he had problems that he couldn't bother Patton about (like his secret crush on a certain prince), Roman would have heated but childish debates with the computer-esque side, and Patton would make him his favorite Crofter's jam and toast for breakfast every morning. So Logan just continued, getting up early every morning to place that agonizing piece of cloth around his collar and cleaning it until pristine and proper. It was a cycle that Logan could live with, especially after Patton grabbed the tie and gave him a soft kiss to his lips.

But it still hurt when he tugged it.

He was almost disappointed when Patton yanked Logan's body towards him, chests colliding and lips crashing. That Patton had to touch such a filthy object, that his Patton had to place his gentle and warm fingers on an item that caused Logan nightmares. He wanted Patton to have nothing to do with it, to keep his burden to him and him alone.

That night, after a long session of lips and hips and legs connected, he scrubbed it until he was unsure if the color in the tie would live through such an avid and furious beating. It sadly was left to bleed Logan's eyes, but that didn't matter. Patton touched it. He wouldn't allow the tie to know love the way Patton gave it, however illogical and impulsive that thought and action was.

Logan continued on, announcing his partnership with Patton about a week later, soon learning his theories on Roman's and Virgil's relationship were cleared up: they were also dating.

Logan shared a first date with Patton a month later. The date was amazing. Logan would have worn a tie and suit long ago if he could have gotten to this point faster because of it. The small, gentle, soft, plump kisses from Patton on his cheek and lips and jaw, the giggles and smiles and stars in Patton's eyes as he looked up at the night sky; they went stargazing for their first date. Logan couldn't be happier, gazing with Patton and having playful banter.

But then, about two months into the relationship, Patton found out about the tie.

It had been in the early morning, and Patton wanted to commemorate the day they had their first kiss, which was today, and decided to make Logan's favorite breakfast in bed. Only, when Patton opened the door to Logan's room, he saw Logan frantically cleaning the tie; sweat trickled down his forehead as if this was tiresome, although flat ironing a tie in a room without ventilation might not have been the best idea as well. Logan also appeared to be crying, which Patton knew that's something Logan doesn't like to do. A third unsettling thing was the fact that he was muttering to himself. Patton couldn't catch most of it, but every now and then he'd say something particularly loud or forced upon himself, as if reminding him. "...clean... protect... relieve... Patton... pure... love... worthy..." it went on until Patton finally found his voice, however cracked it may be at the sight.

"Logan?" he inquired, making sure to steady his hands to keep hold on the tray he was carrying. Logan turned his head up and immediately wiped at his face with his palms. He cleared his tears and beads of sweat and cleaned his glasses with the bottom of his polo, then flashed a small smile at Patton. He still kept ironing the tie, but come on, it's not weird to iron a tie.

"Ah, I um, Patton, how nice to... see you this morning. Is that breakfast?" Logan greeted, then diverted. 'Just a few more minutes,' he told himself, 'and then this piece of garbage can go around my neck in a way Patton would love.' He still smiled, though, and he knew his smile was real because he'd never lie to Patton. It was immoral on many ways, as Patton had told him, so he believed it. It was also sickening for him to think of the way Patton would react if he ever did lie. Let alone looking at Patton was enough to make a small smirk appear on Logan's face, so it wasn't like a parlor trick anyway.

Patton smiled back, and seemed to ignore the way Logan would press onto the tie like an ant with his thumb. Logan finished up ironing the tie and then threw it around his neck. Logan almost cringed when Patton offered to help, but thanks to Virgil, he knew just to refuse and did it himself. The two then shared breakfast in bed while sharing head smooches and warm blankets. Logan was so calm with Patton around.

Until the next morning, that is.

When Logan got out of his room at exactly 6:45 a.m. to get his morning coffee, he saw Patton baking pancakes in the kitchen. Nothing too out of the ordinary. It was then, as he got a closer look, when Patton turned to Logan to give a small peck to his lips, that Logan noticed a tie around his neck.

A tie. Logan was boiling, and he couldn't stop himself from reeling as he shouted, "what the hell are you wearing, Patton?" He didn't even realize he was tugging at his own tie. He was already so suffocated with it on, he couldn't bare seeing it on such a pure and precious Patton.

Patton winced at the yell, but still smiled sheepishly. "You seem to really like ties, getting up early to press your tie like that! So I wanted to wear one with you! Don't you like it?" Patton knew everything; it was all in the way Logan reacted. Crying, aggressive movements, the muttering? He knew Logan hated the tie. So Patton thought wearing one too would help calm his nerves, or show he supported him. Apparently, it did not.

"B-But you don't deserve that shitty piece of devil's cloth! Don't you feel uncomfortable? Sweaty? Like as if you're going to choke right there and then wearing it?" Logan sputtered, cursing his stutter. It always came out when in accessive amounts of emotion. It's one of the reasons he stayed away from them. He also hated how he swore in front of Patton, but that he could excuse much more easily.

Logan at this point was grabbing at Patton's tie now. He was really desperate to see Patton's hoodie or cardigan wrapped around his shoulders so delicately, not that trashy dog tie that looked about as crinkled as Logan's self esteem.

"Oh, Logan... if you don't like ties, then why wear them?" Patton asked while placing a tender hand to his shoulder to steady him. Logan just curled his neck and shoulder into the hand, seething.

"I despise them!" he suddenly bursts. "They can go to hell! They're uncomfortable, hold little value on actually affecting if you're efficient or esteemed, and the only reason people wear them is because they want to look better or more professional!" Logan suddenly paused, biting his lip for a few moments. Then he whispered, with a much more controlled voice, "I wanted to be more professional to you and everyone else. I thought... doing so would give me a better chance in winning you..." A small mist appeared over his eyes as he shot them away from Patton's own. He suddenly shook the hand on his shoulder away, not particularly up for contact. Patton could only stare in guilt and second-hand shame at Logan, toying with the tie on his neck.

"You know, the tie isn't what I love about you..." Patton started after a while. "I love you because of you. Just being so handsome was an added bonus."

Logan had to stop a moment to think: Patton liked him for his personality? His behavior? His likes and dislikes? It had never occurred to him why Patton loved him. Had he truly been wrong this entire time?

"You could have worn clown shoes and underwear on your head and I'd still love you! I'd take you as seriously as you'd want me to be, because I love you and want you to feel like you can be yourself with me! I would feel awful if you had to live with something you hate for forever just to impress me!" Patton included, offering his hand towards the tie. "If that means getting rid of that tie... then so be it. I like it off anyway."

Logan could only flush heavily as Patton muttered that last point, but still gave a nod in permission for Patton to take it off. Gingerly, Patton's hands untied the tie and threw it off to the side. For once, Logan took in a deep breath, and smiled down at his shorter beloved. He whispered gently, "thank you," and placed a small kiss on Patton's forehead, smiling even more at the chubby childish side's giggles. "I love you, Patton... I'm sorry for hiding this trouble from you. If I told you, I thought you'd consider me... unworthy or problematic."

Patton suddenly wrapped his arms around Logan's waist and reached up to kiss Logan's jaw gently. "I'd love you no matter what, Lo. I think you're perfect just the way you are..." he paused for a second, before starting back up with his voice having an uneasy humor to it, "... I thought I was the unworthy one."

Logan just smiled down at Patton and played with his soft, caramel curls. "How about we say we're both worthy of eachother, and call it even?"

"That would be adequate," Patton said in his best Logan impression. He couldn't keep himself from giggling, however, and in turn, Logan started to chuckle as well.

After a small moment he pecked Patton's lips gently. "I guess I'm tie-d to you, then," he joked, trying at an impression of Patton. It wasn't as great as Patton's impression of him, but hey, Patton found it hilarious and squealed loudly.

"I love you so much, Lo!" Patton suddenly shouted giddily and grabbed Logan's jaw to pull him in for a passionate kiss. Logan could only sigh into the kiss.

Let's just say more than just ties were off that night.

---

Perm Tag List:

@xebelle

Are you going to watch Where The Wild Things Are, the film? I haven’t seen it.

Which children's picture book is your favorite? Hm. Does The Rainbow Fish count? It’s so pretty. Do you know how to work a cash register at a fast food place? I’ve never used one, but I’m sure I could learn.

How good are your basic survival skills? I wouldn’t survive long, ha.

Who is the weirdest person you know, and why do you find them so weird? Me. I’m always just like, “why are you like this???”

What is the most difficult thing you’ve been through so far this year? Had some big setbacks health wish and I’ve been going through a really hard time.

Do you know how to whittle wood? No.

Which is your favorite Wonder Of The World? This is a good question. The Northern Lights, I suppose. <<< That is fascinating. I’ve always wanted to see that in person.

Would you make a good salesperson? No. I think that truly takes a special skill and I don’t have it. 

Do you remember the combination to your first locker in high school? I didn’t have a locker.

Do you understand why some people can have a Twitter addiction? I guess. 

Do you drink more coffee or soda? I drink both everyday. 

Have you ever been made fun of for the way you speak? Not for how I speak per se, but for saying something wrong or in a weird way. Like you know how sometimes you’ll say something and it comes out in like a random accent? lol. Like, out of the blue I’ll sound southern or something haha.

Do you know anybody who lives in an apartment? Yeah.

Do you know the origin of your town's name? I do.

Who makes the best desserts out of everyone you know? I don’t really know any bakers.

On a scale on 1-10, how much of a geek would you say you are? 10, probs. *shrug*

Do you often worry about things that really aren't your problem? Sometimes. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own shit these days to be honest, though.

Were you the kind of kid who was scared of everything? I’ve always been a scardy cat and that hasn’t changed.

In the past month, how many times have you been out of town? Not exactly sure, but a few times. Maybe 5.

Were video games better in the 1980s, 1990s, or the 2000s? Why? I have favorites from the 90s and 2000s.

Has someone ever told you that they don't need you? Not that I can recall. I’m sure people have felt that way, though.

Do you think it would be cool to perform an autopsy? Noooo.

Are you one of the few people who actually don't mind math class? I definitely minded. I hated math.

Did you know that they have a Twilight-themed dildo now? ....

In which season do you think The Simpsons started to go downhill? I’ve never been into that show, so.

What would someone have to say in order to truly insult you? Something like that about my loved ones I take personally.

Have you ever watched The Beverly Hillbillies? I’ve seen bits and pieces as a kid cause my dad used to watch it.

What is a name that you associate with a happy, fun girl? Uhhh.

How often do you use the computer offline? I’ve been on a Sims binge lately.

What was the last thing you did that made you feel proud? I haven’t felt proud of myself in a very long time.

Do you think diets really work? Some can.

Did your mother ever sing lullabies to you when you were younger? Yeah.

How many times have you opened the refrigerator today, approximately? Several. My aunt and cousin came over for lunch and board games and I was taking out food, drinks, and condiments (my dad made hamburgers and hot dogs) throughout.

When was the last time you had a soft pretzel? It’s been awhile.

Does is matter to you how many awards an actor/actress or musician has? No. 

Do you try to give credit where credit is due? Absolutely. 

Do you know anybody with very strong opinions on veganism/vegetarianism? Yes.

What do you think of teenagers treating the green movement as a trend? I mean, I guess they’re still doing something good? But then when they decide it’s not trendy anymore or fall off track with it that sucks. 

Does Aurora Borealis fascinate you in any way? Yes.

Do you think it's right to idolize people? No.

Have you ever read Nancy Drew books? I was obsessed with Nancy Drew growing up and have a pretty decent collection still. 

Are you stubborn? If so, where do you think you get it from? Oh, very. I know I get it from my dad.

How old were you when you started to dress yourself? Were you terrible at it? Probably like 3rd grade? I don’t think I was terrible at it.

What makes you unique? Nothing.

[created by: acoustichearts79]

ABLEISM REDUX

Well… There are so many different dimensions of disability that people can be ableist toward those with different disabilities than their own. …And it’s only in the last couple of generations (within my lifetime, at least) that Disability Rights groups have banded together in a common cause (Rather than, say: Rights groups for the blind working only for the blind, Rights groups for Cerebral Palsy working only for Cerebral Palsy, etc.).  Matter of fact, based on my own recollections, I think working together for universal access rights only really got any steam in the 1970s – when I was already a teenager.

Confession time: until relatively recently (like, the last 10 years, or so), as a physically disabled person, I was biased against those with intellectual disabilities, and would get quite insulted if anyone mistakenly thought I was “R

—–ed.”

@theborkplanet IDK HOW TO SEPARATE MY COMMENTS FROM YOURS AND COMMENTS FROM YOURS. HENCE THE CAPS. 

I WAS ALSO BIASED AND PROBABLY STILL AM SOMEWHAT, TOWARD PPL WITH INTELLECTUAL DISABILITIES(ID). I TOO USED THE R WORD. GROWING UP MY EXP WITH PPL W/ ID WERE NEGATIVE OR GROSS, AND NO ONE EVER BOTHERED TO EXPLAIN SOMEONE’S ID TO ME, SO ALL I KNEW WAS NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS EG JO GRABS STUFF AND SCREAMS; NO ONE EVER EXPLAINED HER AUTISM. MOE HAS DOWNS SYNDROME, IS OBSESSED WITH SAYING “BOOBIES” LOVES THE EFFING BEACH BOYS AND FARTS A LOT AND NEVER SHUTS UP; HOW ANNOYING; NO ONE EVER TOLD ME ABOUT PERSEVERATING, OR THAT DS CAN CAUSE GI PROBS SOMETIMES. AL MUTTERS, HE STINKS, AND HE KNOCKED OUT HIS AIDE SO I’M AFRAID THAT AL WILL GET ANGRY WITH ME AND KNOCK ME OUT; NO ONE EVER EXPLAINS HIS CONDITION, SO I GLEAN MY INFO FROM EAVESDROPPING and RUMORS. THE ABLE-BODIED ADULTS DIDN’T BOTHER TO PROMOTE UNDERSTANDING EVEN THO WE WERE ALL TRAPPED ON THE SAME SPECIAL ED BUS, SO THE PASSENGERS WITHOUT ID TALK SMACK ABOUT THE ONES WITH ID. THE ONE TIME I ASK, “WHAT’S AL HAVE?” ABLEBODIED ADULT SHAMES ME FOR ASKING AND BLATHERS ABOUT CONFIDENTIALITY. NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY MY PREJUDICE; JUST RELATING EXP. I’M ALSO WORKING THRU IT BUT U R RIGHT; NEVER 100% DONE. 

I’m working through it, and like to think I’m getting better (and one huge part of that is learning just how deep and intertwined institutionalized ableism really is, in our societies). But as with being a White woman dealing with racism, I have to remember that it’s a case of continuing recovery, and not something I will ever be 100% over and done with.

Thanks for sharing, @aegipan-omnicorn. You’re lovely.

@bigbluebarns, I don’t personally know anything about suffering racism, being a white american myself. However, I do know a thing or two about suffering ableism, both at the hands of able-bodied people, and disabled people.

People are incredibly social animals and will band together in groups with other similar people. This is natural, and it is good. It can be healing and cathartic to hang out with people who “get it.” But this tendency can also have an extremely dark side, as we see with “isms.” This is going to get long, so I’m going to break it here in consideration of people’s dashboards. Again, I can only speak to ableism and sexism so please keep that in mind.

OMG, I LOVE THESE NAMES AND TRADEMARKS. DID U INVENT THEM?

Ableisms I have suffered at the hands of disabled people:

The Cripple Police™: These are the people who, in an overzealous bid for limited access available, arbitrarily decide who is disabled enough to use a mobility aid, bathroom stall, parking spot, and even sometimes the label of “disabled.” If you are not Crippled Enough, you can be subject to any form of social punishment they deem to be necessary.

I HATE THE CP AND I’M CONSTANTLY REMINDING PPL THAT U DO NOT HAVE TO APPEAR DISABLED IN ORDER TO USE HANDICAP PARKING. IT’S LIKE THEY WANT U TO WEAR A TAG STATING U R DISABLED SO THEN THEY CAN ASSESS IF U MEET THEIR RANDOM CRITERIA.

Example: I used to be able to walk longer distances with a service dog, but was still a high fall risk. My doctor (a licensed neurologist) prescribed me a parking placard so that none of us had to worry (as much) about me passing out in a parking lot where no one could see me, and getting run over. A lovely woman in a wheelchair, who just happened to park in the accessible spot next to me, proceeded to scream at me and my service dog all the way into the store. A manager rescued me by going along with my ruse of knowing him, and invited me into the back were I fucking hid away until they told me she had left the store. It. Was. Scary.

EGAD SOUNDS HORRIBLE. BUT YEAH THERE IS A DISABILITY HIERARCHY

The Born This Ways™ : The experience between people who were born disabled, and who acquired disability later in life, vary a great deal from one another. BTW ableist types actively minimize the experiences of other disabled people, simply because they hadn’t been baptized since birth by xyz. In other words, the suffering was not identical to their own, thus must be invalid.

Example: I became disabled after adulthood, and tried to find solace after being subjected to ableist responses from friends and family members who were unable to cope with the “broken me.” I found lots of great disabled people who helped me, but I also found people who routinely scoffed at my experiences, again informing me that I was not “disabled enough,” and suggested I was being deliberately weak, or histrionic. Sometimes it was almost eerily word for word what my ableist friends/family said. How strange…

I’VE SEEN THE ACQUIRED DISABILITY IS BETTER. TM ADIBS MIGHT IMPLY, “WELL I’M A QUAD, BUT AT LEAST I GOT TO EXP BEING ABLEBODIED; I’LL HAVE EXP U SADSACK LOSER BTWS WILL NEVER HAVE. I GOT TO BE NORMAL FOR A WHILE” MOST OFTEN I SAW IT COME FROM PARALYZED PPL WHO WISHED THEY COULD WALK AGAIN. I WAS BORN WITH CP AND AB PPL ACTUALLY ASKED ME “WOULD U RATHER BE BTW OR AD?” BEFORE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, I SAID “BTW, CUZ THATS ALL I KNOW AND I’VE HAD IT FROM DAY1 FALSE EQUIVALENCY WHEREAS ADIBS HAVE TO ADJUST” NOW THO I KNOW THAT EVEN I AS BTW HAVE HAD TO ADJUST TO CHANGING SYMPTOMS. DO U WANT 2 BE A TREE OR A MOUSE...UHHH...FALSE EQUIVALENCY ALERT, CAN’T COMPAPARE APPLE N ORANGE.

The Faker Police™: I think anyone with an invisible illness has experience with this one. This is when people who “look disabled” refuse to believe someone who “does not look disabled,” and proceed to treat them as hysterical attention seekers instead of…well, anyone else. These people often practice double ableisms–I have noticed that many also tend to judge Disabled Enough based on mobility aids. Then, they try to chase the “fakers” out of the community, because everyone knows “fakers” are why we have additional burdens added (like further hurdles to access, government aid, etc).

ALSO IF U HAVE AN INVISIBLE DISABILITY LIKE YOURS AND ME ALSO, I SEE THE “WELL EVERYONE GETS DEPRESSED/SAD/TIRED.” I END UP FEELING LIKE I HAVE JUSTIFY THE DISABLING NATURE OF MY DEPRESSION/ANXIETY TO A WEG. 

Example: Before my condition had progressed to me needing a mobility aid, I was already facing discrimination in the workplace. I requested an accommodation to have the crappy fluorescent lights removed from above my desk, as they provoke bad neurological symptoms. You’d think it was a little thing, but when I asked for advice on dealing with skeptical and belligerent management, I met the same reactions in some disabled people, followed immediately by “Fakers like you are why we see knee-jerk reactions like the word ‘no!’ Come complain when you’re actually disabled and need to have a ramp installed! Until then suck it up!”

The Totally Qualified Disability Judges™: This one seems to arise from the natural tendency of people to compare their situations to the situations of others. If they arbitrarily judge another person’s situation to be better or more favorable, then that person is not As Disabled, or Disabled Enough, or Disabled At All. Then, based on that judgment, they try to socially punish the condemned, or to excommunicate them.

Example: Some conditions are really straightforward and don’t vary widely. People with the condition all seem to have similar limitations. My condition is the exact opposite of that. I have the chronic form of migraine disease. Lots of people get migraines, but not all of them have more than 15 a month, and migraines can last anywhere from a few hours to three days. To some people, pain is the most disabling feature of a migraine, to others, the accompanying neurological weirdness is. (Migraines are often proceeded by cortical spreading depression, a phenomenon also exhibited in epilepsy. Just for an example).

So, when people hear what my condition is, they remember that one lady they used to know who had to lay in the dark for a couple days each month, and wonder why the hell I’m in a wheelchair. It doesn’t make sense to them (who cares that migraines don’t make sense to the most brilliant neurologists in the world), so they decide that I just must not be disabled. Or, if I am, it’s hypochondria. 

 I’VE SEEN: YEAH HAVE U TRIED XYZ CURE? IT REALLY HELPED THAT 1 LADY. IF U DON’T TRY XYZ WELL THEN UR LAZY N ALSO PROBABLY FAKING THE EXTENT OF UR DISABILITY?

Fun fact: Internalizing ableism from medical doctors, and from some close friends and family, and THEN the disabled people I came into contact with later, and from whom I seeked guidance, prompted so much self doubt that I had a licensed psychologist work me up for hypochondria and other related psychological conditions. It…turns out that I am not a hypochondriac. I could not find relief from all of these experiences until I encountered a neurologist familiar with my condition, and fellow disabled people who have been around the block, and who are not so embittered by their experiences that they deigned to expose others to the same.

For that reason, I will always be vocally critical of ableism within our community. I will not sugar coat it, nor will I flatter ableist disableds by giving them another name. That goes for my own ableism, too. Now that I have worked through a lot of my own, I can use my aids with confidence and obtain a freedom that is at least emotionally similar to the one I had when I first formed my adult identity (which was as an abled person).

AH YES, IN MY CASE, INTERNALIZED ABLEISM=ANXIETY N DEPRESSION. STILL NOT SURE IF DISABLED PPL CAN BE TECHNICALLY DISABLED BUT THAT’S JUST LINGUISTIC SEMANTICS.

CLEAERLY WE BOTH KNOW DISABLED PPL ARE CAPABLE OF ASSHOLERY.

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO BOLD TEXT IN POSTS? #TUMBLR NOOB

For an example of sexism from women, see my post Never Underestimate Old Women, in which an old lady cashier schools us for self-righteous activism.

Thanks for the discussion!

Hey get ready for more info abt me than you prob wanted to know

Tagged by @katyaton heyyy I was gonna sleep but you know I love oversharing so here we go!!!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. <—pah yeah we all know i’m gonna tag two people...

LAST…

Drink: water, it’s hot and I’m dying

Phone call: Err dunno hang on. apparently it was a missed call who i ddin’t know the number of and didn’t leave a message so I ignored it. Actually spoke to was my Grandma.

Text message: My friend who I’m meeting with tomorrow as I want to drag her along if I get my ear pierced.

Song you listened to: Beyonce’s Flawless. I was having a mid beyonce binge on youtube ok

Time you cried: I was cryingwith laughter earlier because of my research...i posted one of the funny things on here and then the rest were jst stories that I find hilarious. Humanity is a disaster

HAVE YOU…

Dated someone twice: I’ve been on precisely 1 date so nope

Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah

Been cheated on: Have never dated so nope

Lost someone special: Yes

Been depressed: *shoves my nearly 7 years of depression under the rug* no why do you ask??

Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yeah twice. First time I let my drunk friend get me a drink and she just poured abput 7 types of different straight liquors into a pint glass and I drank the whole thing. to be fair it tasted nice but yeah violently sick. 2nd time was after my meds were upped and I didn’t realise it would affect me so badly...I was still drunk and throwing up the next day which was unfortunately my last day of work...my boss didn’t mind though thank god. but yeah i have since learnt that i can have about three drinks and then i have to stop.

Made new friends: Yeah, for someone who is antisocial I have a surprising amount of friends

Fallen out of love: no

Laughed until you cried: All the time. I am very emotional,,,

Found out someone was talking about you: I can’t think of anything but probably? dunno i have an awful memory

Met someone who changed you: Well yeah everyone helps shape you

Found out who your friends are: Don’t really agree with this as a concept, yeah I’ve lost friends but if it wasn’t right for them then no worries. 

Kissed someone from your Facebook list: Does this mean like list of facebook friends? If so yeah, I kiss my friends a lot (not on the lips just like forehead kisses etc i’m affectionate when i want to be shush) and then have also had drunk friends kiss me and just been like aight ok then

Kissed a stranger: One of said drunk friends kissing me I think was the first night I met him?? Not sure

Drank hard liquor: yep

Lost glasses/contact lenses: All the fucking time D: I lost my glasses for over a  day and then found them in the glasses case which i never put them in...i am dumb

Turned someone down: 1 person

Sex on the first date: Nope i haven’t

Broken someone’s heart: I don’t think so?

Had your heart broken: Yes.

Been arrested: Do I seriously seem like I lead that interesting a life??

Cried when someone died: Yes.

Fallen for a friend: ahahah I have this fun thing where once I am very close and comfortable with a friend I can’t work out if I am romantically or sexually interested in them or not as well as caring about them as my friend??? It’s weird and I don’t know how I feel about it. Usually I just ignore it but yeah if any of those friends initiated something I’d probs go with it out of curiosity. I kind of wish it didn’t happen it’s confusing.

Kissed on the first date: no i haven’t

GENERAL

List 3 favorite colors: blue, red and purple

How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, except like a few friends of friends

Do you have any pets: A dumb cat, an overly excited dog, and 5 chickens

Do you want to change your name: I used to want to change my sirname, I went by a different one when I was younger but as it’s not legally my name we stopped using it. I was going to chage to it when i was old enough to not need parental permission but by then I have wayyyy too much paperwork in this name to be bothered to change it. But yeah my name is annoying and people get confused by it but at this point it’s just fun to mess with them :D 

What time did you wake up: somewhere between 9 and 10??

What were you watching at midnight last night: this damned laptop screen

Name something you can’t wait for: when i can see my dumb cat again

When was the last time you saw your mom: we skyped a few hours ago

What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I had more control over the symptoms of my illnesses.

What are you listening to right now: my fan whilst my brain is relentlessly singing a mashup of Formation and Flawless-it’s catchy but like i wanna seep in a bit shut up brain

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah one of my childhood friends is called tom, we catch up now and then

Something that is getting on your nerves right now: My inability to actually relax and do something fun for simple enjoyment?? I am actually incapable of it

Most visited website: This shit hole

Mole/s: no

Mark/s: I accidentally stabbed myself in my thumb so that has a lovely scar on it as it went through to the muscle. I also have two scars on my face from when I was a toddler but one people don’t really notice as it’s under my nose and the other is mistaken for a dimple as it is literally a small gauge out of my face. i think that’s it?

Childhood dream: Apparently I wanted to play violin to the sharks...I was an odd child...

Do you have a crush on someone: No

What do you like about yourself: I like to think I’m mildly amusing at least

Piercings: ONe in each ear lobe but I’m actually planning on getting another in the top of my left ear tomorrow. shall see if I actually do it hah

Blood type:I don’t actually know?? And apparently you can’t just get them to check despite the fact that I’ve had a blood test so it should be on record?? But yeha I dunno

Nickname: abby is a nick name, also abs, and hoenstly just make a sound near me and I’ll probably answer! I have a lot of very bizarre nicknames and I also respond to insults...i respond to mos t things weirdly

Relationship status: Single

Zodiac:Leo

Pronouns: She/her

Favorite TV show: pushing daisies, yuri on ice, merlin, brooklyn 99, parks and rec, god so many...i watch too much tv....

Tattoos: None but I like them. However have chickened out each time I had an opportunity. I frequently daydream about ones I woould like though.

Right or left hand: Right handed but i can actually use either hand for most things which i great wehn I’m working and one hand gets tired, my uni friends all hate me for it!

Surgery: nah

Hair dyed in different color: Have tried it but my hair doesn’t hold onto dye for more than about two weeks at most. who knows why? not me

Sport: I used to row but not anymore. I practise archery but haven’t been since christmas as I wasn’t well enough to drive there. I want to start up again as I now have a new bow

Vacation: I’m debating joining a friedn in spain for a few days near her birthday but dunno if it will plan out. but like a proper vacation pahaha what do you take me for?? an adult with money???

Pair of trainers: Only have one I actually exercise in as finding ones thta fit is hard as i have odd feet. i also have hiking boots and converses

Current and all-time best friend name: I have had best friends in the past but none have ended well so instead I simply have quite a few close friends ( like seriously I have a lot of poeple that are my friend sand I have no idea why becasue i am a disaster)

Eye color: blue

Favorite movie: errr so many....ever after, mulan, httyd, just so many i can’t think i don’t have favs ok?!

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or kisses: have never really had a proper kiss so imma say hugs as I am secretly an octopus and will wrap myself around people when I want company (legit and I’m not a small person but people let me and it’s nice)

Lips or eyes: Eyes

Shorter or taller: *Both is good gif* both are excellent hugging options

Nice arms or stomach: *has just spent about 3 minutes randomly daydreaming about a variety of nice tummies and arms in detail* erm yes...

Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

Hook up or relationship: Relationship (though the thought of having a relaationship is also terrifying...)

Troublemaker or hesitant: errr fuck ok i am not good at deciding ok arghhh both is good D:

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

Yourself: *looks at both my low self esteem issues and my tendencies to be supremely arrogant* juries out

Miracles: yes

Love at first sight: no

Santa Claus: Well i used to

Tagging *drum roll* yaaaa guessed it @showmethestarlight and @deaded123

overshare with me, my weird losers

Bea & Lola & Ronnie & Charlie

1st attempt at group chat style

Bea: Celebrations are in order! Who's in and where do we start? Lola: Hell yeah count me in! 🎉 pre-game at ours if we're stocked? 🍸💊 Ronnie: Finally ditched the freckled dead weight, yeah? I'll drink to that Charlie: Lmao Charlie: We were good last time I checked but if not sounds like princess is in the treating mood, yeah? 😉 Good news all 'round Bea: Since when do you need a reason? 🤔 but I got a first, if you must know Bea: I'll be round in a bit then, save me some, Lola talking specifically to you now, know a losing battle when I see one Ronnie: since we ain't all getting bankrolled by the student loan. fitzy that's where you're wrong bitch we out Lola: Yes girl! 🤗 I got you and will be keeping suitable 💊 from the mouths of these babes 😏 Congrats on being a brainbox confirmed too btw Lola: if someone ☝ stayed outta my stuff we're good 🤞 Ronnie: fuck you. sharing's caring Bea: says THE most selfish one in this chat ok Bea: and thanks Lo 😘 Ronnie: get off my tits princess Charlie: even the club drugs??? why you been doing them alone in the middle of the day you nutter 😂 ah well Lola: They were mine and I took them Thursday 👍 Bea: tits, where??? Charlie: children please! there's always a dealer with a dick to suck, we don't need to eat each other quite yet, chill out or you need some of that too Charlie: Christ Ronnie: on it, no complaints outside of this chat like Charlie: He'll be devvo its not me 😕 Ronnie: if I was scoring from big dom then yeah but like fuck am I going that far for you cunts Lola: he asked me if I wanted a free tat last time I went 😕 looking to branch out or just touch my body with needles? No way to know Bea: God, Lola, do not ⛔ its free hepatitis is what it is, Charlie already dicing with death there 😷 Grotty Ronnie: fuck it they're treatable 'cept for A Ronnie: shit at drawing though so forget that like Bea: 🙄 well then, go ahead and catch 'em all like pokemon, aim for those mid-grades though, over-achieving will get you 💀 Ronnie: reckon its too late for that. he's sound though 'cept this art on my arm looking like a dog's dick Ronnie: all I got from him Lola: have you even shown me that? 👀 viewing party tonight too please Charlie: Didn't think that was your thing Lolly? As long as it's attached to a dog you're into it? 😵 alright our kid 😬 Lola: Shut your gob Charlie! 🖕 Bea: you WANT to be insulted, masochist 💘 if it was decent it wouldn't match the rest, man knows your aesthetic if nothing else Charlie: 😂 soz babe Ronnie: fuck off and get a tramp stamp you sket Bea: good one 👍 bitter you won't get to see Ronnie: nah I'm bitter that he hasn't written that cunt's name on you yet. guarantees a break up like Bea: Whoever could you be talking about? You're so unclear about your feelings, so mysterious Lola: guys this is not a party atmosphere! I wanna wreck my head in a good way Lola: Calm the tits you both have please Charlie: Agreed, now everyone say thank you to Ronnie for going on the drugs run Charlie: THANK YOU RONNIE 💖 Ronnie: what happened to not eating me out fitz? you strike out last night or what? Lola: I'll say it when I get my share not before 😏 Charlie: I'm trying to create a party atmosphere, silly bitch Charlie: What says party better than oral? Ronnie: we haven't had an orgy for ages, miss me that much yeah? Bea: only domestics these days, init? Charlie: not in front of the children, please Lola: 🤒 Lola: thanks for the mental scars Ronnie: any time Bea: Well, you've really brought me down Bea: Get a better night out if I stayed here, saying something 🙄 Ronnie: knock you down if you want Bea: I was asking for a good time, not necessarily in pissing myself at you trying but if that's all you've got, babe Ronnie: this bitch Bea: Yeah, I am. Lola: 😂 you two kill me Charlie: so much unresolved sexual tension Charlie: its getting to us all Charlie: sort it out lads Lola: speak for yourself ✌ Ronnie: she couldn't turn me on if her boyfriend's life depended on it you filthy scrote Ronnie: porn hub's here for you lad, use it Bea: Oh, please. You're never off, out here panting like a dog. Bea: And you can dream on too, Charlie. NEVER going to happen. Ronnie: something to fucking agree on Ronnie: around you I'm dead below the waist cheers for that Ronnie: like im on ket Charlie: You both know it will 🌈😍🎆 and it will be magical Bea: Welcome. Perhaps you could use the moments of clarity to do something with your life. Ronnie: I'm scoring for you right now princess so go fuck yourself Bea: One for the CV, I'm sure. Bea: If you thought I was thanking you, or going down on you...I'd be quicker to get my own. 👑 remember? Get it flown in from Columbia before that Ronnie: get your fucking own then Ronnie: i asked for neither that's fitzys wet dream Bea: Always quick to martyr yourself Bea: No one asked you to go get the gear Bea: and you took it all in the first place so; what's your issue here? Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: you're a cunt that's every day's issue Lola: 🤦 Bea: Are you TRYING to make Charlie cum in his pants? Bea: Take that shit private, I've told you both I'm not interested Bea: What, not room for two in this town? Ronnie: no need to try he's pulling himself off as we speak Bea: Well, always nice when they essentially do the job themselves when you're past your prime, I imagine Charlie: I'm ignoring you both, is what I'm doing Charlie: You're both clearly blobbing so we'll save the idea for another day Charlie: Damn 😏 Lola: 🙄 Lola: Charlie I raised you better than that! Charlie: What?! Did you see how cunty the lone rangers were being Charlie: and I say ONE thing Lola: period bants are so 20 years ago boy Lola: know better Lola: Just cos they don't have any idea how to play nice Lola: that's old too Charlie: Who said its bants? Speculation 'bout the state of their knickers if nothing else Charlie: also, I add, probs in a twist Charlie: ba-dum-tss Ronnie: get your head outta my crotch for 5 seconds lad christ Charlie: 🐶 Ronnie: get your red wings from that bitch, just be prepared to be disappointed like, princess talks a good game but that's it like Bea: Yet here you are, all mouth. Bea: Both of you stop projecting your creepy shit, thanks Lola: everyone stop this shit or I bounce, thanks 👌 Lola: I could have a better party on my own at this point Bea: Agreed Bea: I'm staying here, see you around Lo Charlie: Ughhhhhhhhh Charlie: Guys no Lola: Laters then B xx Charlie: I'll even miss the chance to be 'insensitive' and tell you to kiss and make up, alright? Charlie: We're all bored, obvs, we need a party Charlie: Everyone suck it up, we can split up after pre-drinks, so what does it matter Lola: Fine, one more chance 😌 don't fuck it up Lola: Bea you in? Charlie: Ronaldo? Bea: Yeah, whatever Ronnie: suck a dick charlie I was never out Charlie: Well...with that confusing display of enthusiasm, we're back on! Bea get your fine ass on that train, we'll sort the rest between us Charlie: Everyone happy? Lola: 😁 Ronnie: 🖕 Bea: Nothing and no one's bringing me down 💋

Survey #133

“i closed my eyes and she slipped away.”

Do you wear a ring on your finger?  Yes, a friendship one with Sara. Do you expect to be married in the next two years?  There's a small chance I'd be engaged, but I doubt married. What is your favorite type of cookie?  Chocolate chip. Are you allergic to pollen?  I actually don't know if I am anymore??  So far this season, I haven't had any issues... Do you have more upper or lower body strength?  Lower like most females. Do you like hot tubs?  Yaaaaaas. Do you know anyone who is battling cancer?  Not currently, thank God. Have you ever donated money to a charity?  Yes. What was the last movie you’ve seen in theaters? Jumanji.  Excellent movie, so funny. Do you prefer Apple or Android?  Apple, but I have an Android currently. Do you like the color lime green?  Ye. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? First one's fantastic, second is a train wreck plot-wise.  I still like it, it's hard for me to not like something SH, but all things considered it's not a great movie. What movie scared you the most out of any other movies?  The only movie that's ever scared me is The Rite, but only because it played on a fear. Tell me something you’ve been made fun of for in the past.  Uhhhh... I'm sure there's something, but I can't remember. Do you support war?  Nope. Have you ever wanted to be on American Idol? When was this?  No. Do you like kissing lightly better than just making out?  No. You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from?  Summer. Do you attend school, college, or university?  First I went to a community college, then a university. Name 5 things you don’t believe in.  1.) Destiny, 2.) Reincarnation (although I actually think it'd be quite cool...), 3.) Karma, 4.) Prayer actually affects anything (maybe), 5.) No free healthcare in America. If you could have any friend that you’ve lost back, who would you pick?  Megan. When was the last time you did something for the first time?  Listened to an audiobook. Do you have blinds in your bedroom?  Yes. When was the last time you had an interview? How did it go?  2016.  It went well, but I didn't get the job.  But now I look back and I'm glad lol. What was the most damaging relationship (romantic or not) that you’ve ever been a part of?  Jason. Who was the last person you cut out of your life? Do you regret it?  Colleen.  Nope. Who is the most attractive person you know personally? Not to be sappy, but the longer I date her, the more and more beautiful Sara becomes. Do you remember the first time you truly enjoyed sex? Or have you always?  He was good from the start. Have you ever done anything sexual in a car?  Maybe briefly make out while saying bye, but I dun remember for certain. What do you wish you had been better prepared for?  Adulthood. Do you know anyone with a semicolon tattoo?  Me. Who knows you best, excluding romantic partners?  My mom. The last news you got that shocked you, what was it, and was it good news or bad news?  My little sister may be developing depression.  Obviously awful news. If you have pets, who normally puts food and water in their dish?  Me or Mom. Do you organize the pictures on your computer into different folders or are they all just under “My Pictures”?  The latter. Do you think if someone is in a relationship, that it is acceptable to have sleepovers with other people of their preferred sex? Yes, so long you're not in the same bed. Would you shoot a gun if given the chance? If you’ve shot a gun before, how many different types of guns have you shot?  aajsfsjwoejieoqo NO. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing things like artwork or poetry you’ve written? Is it because you don’t think it’s good enough to show off or because it’s too personal?  OMFG YES I DON'T SHARE SHIT BECAUSE IT'S PERSONAL AND I GET EMBARRASSED TOO EASILY. For those who have anxiety, has anyone ever told you that you just need to calm down and actually face your fears? Were you insulted or frustrated by this comment? OH HI COLLEEN AND NO SHIT. Do you have any siblings you absolutely despise? Why do you despise them?  No. Do knives scare you? Is it from watching scary movies?  Yes, and no.  Their pain/torture capability is terrifying. Say lyrics from the song currently playing?  "It's more than a feeling, more than a feeling when I hear that old song they used to play." If you HAD to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get?  At this very moment, nose.  Once you can see my collarbones again, I'm getting them pierced. How many closets does your house have?
  Three. What has been your most epic cooking failure?
  Uhhhh maybe when I completely split a hot dog open in the microwave lmao. What was the last single item you spent over $100 on?
  A plane ticket. Have you ever climbed a chain-link fence?  Yes. What is your LEAST favorite Disney animated movie? I've never liked The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Who was the last person’s house you went to besides your own? Nicole and Allison's new place. Do you enjoy the birds' singing in the morning?  Yesssss<3 List these apple types from greatest to worst: green, red, yellow.  Red, yellow, green. On YouTube, who are two people you find hilarious?  GameGrumps are fucking hysterical, then one can probably guess Markiplier is an absolute hilarious goof to me. If you had to live in a palace, what would be the color scheme?  Black and pink because #aesthetic. Favorite dinosaur?  SPINOSAURUS. What is the best part of fall?  The colors. <3 Favorite style of hat? No fucking shame I love fedoras. How do you eat Oreos?  Split them apart to eat the center first.  Or dip them in milk.  Now I want Oreos. Name the first vine that you can think of. I cOuLd'Ve dRopPeD mY cRoIsSaNt. Beyonce vs Rihanna?  Beyonce is a Queen. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc.  Hair color? Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight?  Yup, with an ignorant woman regarding depression. What are your favorite smells? Lilac, honeysuckle, bakeries, coffee... Do you shave your pits?  Yes. Do you know anyone who has been on life support, and survived?  No. What light in your house was the last to have a bulb burn out?  Living room. Have you ever been in an abandoned house?  Yes. What is your favorite phase of the moon? Full. What season do you want to get married in?  Autumn. Besides the USA, what is your favorite country?  Maybe Scotland?  I wanna visittt. Would you rather go to Europe or Asia? Europe. Would you rather go to Africa or Australia?  Africa. Would you rather go to Mexico or Canada?  Canada. Are there such things as stupid questions?  Yes. Did you get in trouble for cussing on accident when you were a kid? Yes I literally yelled "HOLY SHIT" in the car lmao. What’s the highest you can count in a different language? 11 in German.  Don't remember 12... Where would you like to be buried?  I would rather be cremated and have a good bit of my ashes returned to the earth while my loved ones keep some. Do you think emo/scene hair is attractive? I'm fucking weak for that shit. Have you ever had yourself drawn in caricature?  No. Have you ever seen a ghost orb picture?  Yes. Do you think abortion should be illegal? No. How many keys are on your key-ring?  One. What are some piercings you want?  Collarbones, nose, TONS more in ears, maybe bellybutton once I'm a skinny legend again.  Maybe dermals in my lower back... maybe. Dogs or cats? Why?  Cats.  More chill, less maintenance. Do any of your pets have strange habits? Explain?  Teddy likes to dig and go in a thousand circles before lying down. Have you ever told an extremely inappropriate joke?  Lmao yes. What is your favorite non-traditional fruit? Pomegranate, probs. What's your favorite older film? The Outsiders. Aliens or unicorns?  Unicorns. Where did you meet your current or last significant other?  YouTube. Would you ever get a face tattoo? There's a small chance I'll get a small, red heart at the corner/below my left eye. If you asked your mom to describe you, what do you think she’d say? I've got a pretty good idea what she'd say: I'm very smart (yeah right, Mom), super creative, unique, and quiet. What is the one thing you'd most like to change about the world? LESS VIOLENCE. What are you most grateful for? My recovery, my girlfriend, my mom, my dad, my psychiatrist and therapist, my improving physical and mental health, my resilience... I have a lot to be grateful for. Who is the most interesting person you've ever met?  My Sara Jane. When do you love yourself most? When people tell me I help them. What would you most readily die for?  Sara. What single word do you hate most?  The "f" word regarding gays. Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? Sara. What would you most like to be remembered for after you die?  My mental endurance. What's the biggest surprise you've ever had in bed? Waking up because Jason was caressing my breasts. What is the most sacred thing in your life?  My mental health. Who have you most feared in your life? My dad.  Thank goodness that's not something I have to fear anymore. What was the quickest friendship you ever made? Maybe Priscilla. What single word would you use to most accurately describe your parents?  Dedicated. What is the worst word anyone ever used to describe you? A martyr, but not in the "I'll die for what I believe" way.

👣

child memeobviously a lamen kid trigger warnings for: child abuse & slavery mention

adoption

why did the parents decide on adoption? kind of their only option

how did the parents choose the kid? okay okay bear with me - but my hc is that laurent & damen make it their mission to help all of the kids who were in slavery/abused by the regent/generally in need. the prerequisite for adoption is literally just: need a home. that’s it. if they want to adopt dozens of children, they’re the kings, they can fucking do that. nikandros thinks damen has lost his mind, but he doesn’t really care.

how old was the child when the parents adopted them? the kids are all ages, obviously. in a perfect world (aka, in the fic i’m writing), nicaise lived & he’s the first kid they take in. but some of the others are far younger. some are legit babies. yes, i know i’m doing this meme wrong by not focusing on just one kid, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

did the parents specifically want a boy or a girl? again, it doesn’t matter to them whatsoever.

how long did the parents have to wait? lol they’re the rulers, & adoption isn’t like? an organized thing in their kingdom? 

did the parents adopt inside their own country or outside of it? inside

were they worried about the biological parents? most of kids are orphans, so nope.

did the parents try and get a child that matched their features, or was that not important to them? they don’t care whatsoever what the kids look like

when/is the child/ren told they’re adopted? i mean, the older ones knows from the get-go. the younger ones would figure it out on their own, i’d say. lmao.

how easy was it for the parents to bond with the child? did one parent find it harder than the other? laurent is the fucking baby whisperer. seriously. both of them bond pretty well with all of the kids, but the veretian kids obviously prefer laurent at the beginning & vice versa for any akielon kids with damen. but laurent has more luck getting the kids to nap/stop crying/etc. damen is jealous.

if the child was older when they were adopted, how well did they get along with their parents? the older kids have… been through some shit. laurent gets along with them a little better than damen, if only because he gets it. they understand each other - the way he is with nicaise, really. the older kids also have more of a prejudice against vere/akielos than the younger ones do, but they come to the conclusion pretty quickly that their dads are giant softies. 

did they discuss the decision to adopt with the rest of the family or just with each other? lol what family

how easy was it for the parents’ families to accept the adopted child? nikandros is basically the fun uncle who teaches the kids to wrestle & shit, so he accepts them p easily. he thinks damen has gone a little overboard with all the kids. but he’s learned to take things in stride. 

why did the biological parents give them up? do the parents know? do they tell the child? a lot of their parents are dead. so.

what was the child’s life was like before they were adopted? we all know that it wasn’t great.

infancy/toddler

is the child a good sleeper? that depends, did laurent put them to bed? if so, yes. 

how often does the child cry? whenever damen holds them lmao. okay, i kid. sort of. but damen is convinced that the kids only cry when he’s around, like they’re taunting him.

which parent finds it easier to get them to stop? laurent lol

how does the child behave at bath time? i mean, there’s a lot of kids so it varies. 

what is the child’s first word? laurent & damen take bets on which kids will say “papa” (laurent) or “pater” (damen) first (damen is “daddy” in modern stuff). it varies, & regardless, they’re both excited af when the kid says it. sometimes, the first word is an attempt at nicaise’s name. 

how bad do the child’s diapers smell and which parent has the misfortune of changing them? they take turns & i mean, i think all diapers smell.

which parent has a harder time adapting to their new role? damen, but he loves every second. tbh.

just how terrible are the terrible twos? depends on the kid

does the child go to day care? if they do, how old are they when they start? no, they have servants. lol. and private tutors. 

if the child doesn’t go to day care, who says home to look after them? same as above

which parent babyproofs the house? both of them but damen is way more paranoid than laurent

which parents designs the baby room? both of ‘em

which parent is more likely to give in to tantrums? damen lmfao

is the child spoiled with toys? YEP

which parent does the potty training? both

which parent has to take them outside to hose them down after a particularly nasty diaper? damen

which parent do they take after more? about half & half. some of the kids end up bookworms like laurent, some are more into athletics like damen, & some are in-between or into other stuff entirely.

what habits do they pick up from their parents? SASS. all of these children are capable of intense sarcasm. & could probs make a grown man cry by insulting them.

how often is the parents’ date night now? they find time :)

who babysits when the parents go out? …again, they have servants

child

how did the parents decide what school to send the child to? or was the child home-schooled? private tutors

who packs the lunches? servants lol

are the lunches eaten by the child, or thrown away? eaten

which parent helps with homework? assuming modern au, probably laurent bc he’s into that sort of thing

what does the report card look like? varies. they’re all p smart, though. some just apply themselves more than others.

is the child/ren popular, or only have a few friends? varies.

does the child play a sport? varies. 

does the child play an instrument? some of them do. a couple of them like to sing. 

do both parents turn up to the matches/recitals? always

which parent buys their clothes? or does the child pick out their own clothes? they pick out their own

what’s the child’s style? i mean. some of them like the veretian stuff w/ the laces & shit. some of them prefer akielon style. 

is the child more interested in playing inside or outside? again, depends

how often does the child get in trouble? what do they get in trouble for? lol they do that thing where they’ll ask one parent (laurent) if they can do something, he says no, & they go to the other (pushover) parent. damen can’t say no. at all. the kids give him the puppy dog eyes & he melts.

does the child have any siblings/cousins? how well do they get along? LOTS OF SIBLINGS. obviously they get along better with some than others, but they all love each other. the little kids especially adore nicaise.

what pet does the child beg for? do they get it? cats & YES. partly bc laurent is a cat person.

is the child shy and reserved, or outgoing and gregarious? depends on the kid

does the child still take after the same parent they did as a toddler? depends

teen

what does the child want to be/do when they finish school? all of the kids have different goals & tbh laurent & damen don’t care wtf they do as adults bc the chances of any of them being able to take the throne is kinda slim, not being blood relations. they just want their babies to be happy.

which parent does the child get along with better? depends

is the child out all night partying and drinking with their friends, or staying in studiously doing homework? or both? about half & half

how does the child go on their SATs? do they make it to the SATs? obviously in a modern au & all of them make it to the SATs & they all do at least relatively well

does the child go to prom with their friends, or a partner? some of them don’t go at all. lol. some go w/ friends & some w/ a partner. 

how do the parents feel about their first boyfriend/girlfriend? as long as the kid isn’t a dick, if their baby is happy, they’re happy. though laurent might interrogate the date a bit.

what are the child’s friends like? do they get along with the parents? depends. if the friends don’t get along with laurent & damen, the kids don’t usually stay friends with them. lol. 

what kind of music is the child into? depends

how do the parents and child/ren go learning to drive? is it a disaster, or does it go fairly smoothly? depends on the kid, but laurent teaches them to drive. damen would be a nervous wreck (not that laurent isn’t, but he’s better at pretending he isn’t)

does the child have a casual/part time job? what is it? depends on the kid. pretty stereotypical teen jobs, though. fast food, grocery cashiers, baristas. 

does the child hang out with their family, or are they too ‘cool’ now? these kids love their dads, ok? like, i wholeheartedly think that any kid raised by lamen would be ridiculously attached to their parents.

what’s the child’s personality like? depends

who does the child take after now? depends 

adult

does the child make it to adulthood? yep

does the child end up in the job/lifestyle they dreamed about? why? some of them do & it’s partially bc they have the world’s most supportive dads. & a fuck ton of siblings who cheer them on.

are their any hiccups in the road? i mean, i think there are always a few hiccups

does the child move far away from their family, or stay close? some move away, some stay close, some never leave home lol

what would the parents prefer? whatever makes the kid happy (though they miss them all like crazy if they leave)

does the child have any significant others? any children of their own? some of them do

how do the parents feel about being or not being grandparents? they adopted like 20 kids, how do you think they feel about grandkids? lmao