#my appetite is that of a 6 year old child
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Just finished my twilight saga moment and now have to urge to read twilight fics but my brain is too broken from the lack of sleep and I’m not fangirling over anyone specifically… I think I just want more twilight.. idc how old everyone is now… I.. NEED.. MORE
#ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏~♡𝓜𝓞𝓒𝓗𝓐 𝓑𝓤𝓝𝓝𝓘 🗣️#my period decided to show up so I slept all afternoon yesterday#on the plus side mama in law brought Texas Roadhouse bread and butter sooo I’m content#my appetite is that of a 6 year old child#chips snickers bread and water is literally all I’ve eaten
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Japan 🇯🇵
A Guide to Some of the Best Queer Asian Shows
Full list here.
1. Cherry Magic!
mind reading; secret crush; office setting
By still being a vіrgin at 30, Adachi gains a magical power – the ability to read other people's minds by touching them. At first, he’s overwhelmed by his new ability, and it’s not proving to be helpful to him. But that all changes when he accidentally touches their office’s most perfect guy Kurosawa, who he learns has romantic feelings for him.
WeTV (Cherry Magic) & no international streaming of Cherry Magic The Movie is available to my knowledge, so watch on bilibili or KissKH
2. Kieta Hatsukoi (My Love Mix-Up!)
misunderstanding; high school setting
Aoki has a crush on Hashimoto, the girl in the seat next to him in class. But he despairs when he borrows her eraser and sees she's written the name of another boy — Ida — on it. To make matters more confusing, Ida sees Aoki holding that very eraser and thinks Aoki has a crush on him!
Viki
3. Our Dining Table
food; child character
Salaryman Yutaka finds it difficult to share meals with other people. However, his life starts to change when one day, his cooking attracts the attention of a young boy named Tane and his older brother Minoru. The two brothers are impressed by Yutaka's cooking skill and invite him to their house to cook together. Yutaka's dreary life begins to change, and soon he finds himself looking forward to the meals he shares with the Ueda siblings together, as well as developing a taste for romantic feelings.
GagaOOLala
4. She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat
wlw; neighbours; self-discovery; food
Nomoto loves to cook, but tends to make too much food and has no one to share it with. Luckily for her, turns out her neighbor Kasuga has a big enough appetite for the both of them.
No international streaming available, translated to english by Furritsubs, S1 & S2, watching instructions provided, please support translator on kofi.
5. Takara-kun to Amagi-kun
high school setting; relationship exploration
Takara is a good-looking popular guy in class, while Amagi is a simple but bright and pure fellow classmate. The two begin to date in secret after Amagi's blurted out confession.
Viki or GagaOOLala
6. Old Fashion Cupcake!
age gap; boss/assistant; self-discovery; office setting; food
At 39, Nozue realizes that by letting himself be carried away by his daily life, he ended up locking himself into his routine. It is Togawa, his 29-year-old subordinate, who shakes up his habits by offering him one day to go snack on pastries in an establishment more popular with girls. From one snack to the next, Nozue feels rejuvenated... But is it really the effect of these delicacies or rather that of emerging feelings?
Viki or GagaOOLala
7. Love is Better the Second Time Around
second chances; adult romance
An associate university professor and an editor in their thirties, who promised to elope together back in high school but didn't because of a misunderstanding, find each other again after a magazine column ties them together.
GagaOOLala
8. Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss!
lucky guy/unlucky guy; university setting
College student Fukuhara has bad luck that causes problems everywhere he goes. One day, Shinomiya, a student with super good luck, helps him out. Now, in order to divide the luck between them, Fukuhara needs to be with Shinomiya all the time.
Viki or GagaOOLala
9. Perfect Propose
childhood friends to lovers; roommates
Hirokuni Watari, a cog in the corporate machine, faints on the street one day and ends up meeting Kai Fukaya, a childhood friend he hasn't seen in 12 years. With Kai having no place to stay, he ends up staying with Hirokuni and making home-cooked meals for him to soothe his exhaustion.
GagaOOLala
10. Two People Who Can't Fall in Love (Koisenu Futari)
aromantism; asexuality; self-exploration
Sakuko finds it difficult to live in a society which operates under the assumption that people will fall in love with each other. She meets supermarket employee Takahashi and ends up living with him under one roof because of their similar values towards romance.
No international streaming available, watching instructions provided here.
11. I Cannot Reach You
best friends to lovers; secret crush
Long time friends and total opposites, Yamato and Kakeru always stick together. When the reserved Yamato admits his feelings, can everything change?
Netflix
12. I Want to See Only You
best friends to lovers; coming of age
In the final summer of high school, childhood best friends Sakura and Yuma must start thinking about college and their futures. That is, until Sakura confesses to Yuma with a kiss.
No international streaming available, translated to english by Furritsubs, watching instructions provided, please support translator on kofi.
13. A Man Who Defies the World of BL
breaking the 4th wall; comedy; university setting
It suddenly dawns on Mob that he lives in a BL world! So he must turn down any hot guys who approach him.
Viki or GagaOOLala (S1) & Viki or GagaOOLala (S2)
14. My Personal Weatherman
roommates; under-negotiated kink
Yoh is a struggling ero-manga artist living with his Mizuki Segasaki, a popular weather forecaster. Yoh believes their arrangement comes with Segasaki providing for him in exchange for housework and sex. Segasaki always has sex with Yoh before the day when the rain season will be over, which results in Yoh being sexually frustrated whenever Segasaki predicts sunny weather for the next day.
GagaOOLala or Viki or Apple TV
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You can watch some shows for free by setting VPN to Japan. In other cases I recommend paying for subscriptions to show appreciation and support of content in order to get more of it in the future, but if you can’t, watch on KissKH (better quality), Dramacool or get files from MkvDrama. Enjoy! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
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Fire and Salt
🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕
YN was considered by many to be the true mix of both her parents. She held her mother Rhaenyra’s beauty and violet eyes, her nose and lips straight from her father Laenor’s nose and silver-white hair. When she was a child, her hair was wild and curly and her appetite for flying and the sea unquenchable. Under the sun her light tan skin gained more color. Yes she was considered to be the true mix of both, and many whispered that she was the only true child between them.
The girl was not stupid, she understood that people questioned why she out of her brothers looked more like the combination of their parents. YN had hoped that since she looked like her mother just as much as her brother’s did people would not question it as much. But it seemed even in her family, her brother's legitimacy would be questioned.
🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕
Masterlist
YN had rushed over to the room where her mother was holding her new baby sibling. YN was excited to meet them, hoping for a baby sister, but her quick stride was interrupted by Ser Harwin corralling her brothers toward her mother’s room.
“Good day, Ser Harwin.” YN skipped over toward them. “Has it happened already?”
“Good day little princess. Indeed, your mother has given birth to a boy. My condolences, as I hear you were hoping for a sister.” Ser Harwin teased the 8 year old who gave an exaggerated pout in return. She was shoved slightly by her younger brother Jace.
As soon as they reached their mother’s chambers, the three children burst in to see their little brother in their mother’s arms. YN pushed back her brothers to place a kiss on her mother’s cheek.
“Hello mama. Are you okay?” YN asked, giving her mother’s hand a squeeze.
“I am fine now, my darling girl. Would you like to see your brother?” Rhaenyra asked. YN nodded and took a look at her new brother, his little scrunched up red face was peaceful in sleep.
“I suppose he is rather well looking, even if he is a boy.” YN sighed and placed another kiss on her mother’s cheek before going to her father.
Laenor kissed the top of her white curly hair. YN paid no mind to the rest of the conversation, smiling at Ser Harwin as he held her little brother. When her father sent her brothers back to the dragon pit, YN took a turn to the walls that overlooked the waters. YN loved the water, the idea of flying or sailing excited her. As the wind began to sweep her hair, YN dreamed of the day she would claim a dragon as YN had none at the moment.
She was particularly close to Seasmoke, the dragon was fond of her as well. But he was bonded to her father, so she had no claim to him. YN had long ago decided that if she was not to claim a dragon she would have a ship to her name. Having told her grandfather so when she was 6 years old, the lord of the driftmark laughed and promised her a ship if she did not have a dragon when she was a woman.
With a happy sigh, YN pulled away from the seawall and made her way to the dragon pit. Not paying mind to the ones who greeted her. But her stride was stopped by the sight of her uncle Aemond. He looked dirty and tired.
“Aemond. What happened? Were you-”
“Get off me. Your brothers did this, for all I know you are a part of their prank.” Aemond hissed and pushed her away.
“What prank?”
“They gave me a pig. Said it was my dragon, as if that was what I deserved.” Aemond muttered, blinking away angry tears. “Your brothers think I am unworthy of a dragon, that I am a pathetic excuse of a Targaryen.”
“I don’t think you are.” YN tried to comfort him, placing her hand on his shoulder. “I am also without a dragon. Do you think I am pathetic? Cause I don’t. We don’t have to be defined by whether we have a dragon. I am sure you’ll claim one. You have the courage for it.”
Aemond gave her a small smile as the two hugged each other close. When they separated, YN made her way once again to the dragon pit. She gave the workers acknowledgement in valyrian, before finding her way to Seasmoke. The large beast lifted its head in a eager way as the princess reached him, bringing her hand up to pat his neck.
“Rytsas seasmoke. Issi ao behaving aōla ilagon kesīr?” (Hello Seasmoke. Are you behaving yourself down here?) YN asked. The girl planned to spend her afternoon speaking to the beast. Unaware that in the Red Keep, there were plans being made that would change her life forever.
#hotd#hotd x reader#aemond imagine#aemond x reader#velaryon reader#poc reader#house of the dragon#house of the dragon x reader#house targaryen#targaryen reader#aemond targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#laenor valeryon#ser harwin#jacerys velaryon#lucerys targaryen#asoiaf
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Ok so. I was gonna make a post that Ranpo technically didn't go to school. So I went to look at the Origins novel and I checked the raw because of all the omissions in the TL (Ranpo was kicked out of the police academy 6 months before the start of the plot not "less than a year ago" it's very explicitly 半年 "half year"). And uh. Well so on that topic they kicked him out when he was 13, but a police academy isn't considered a real school in Japan so while his education in Japanese language continued he didn't have the core subjects from the age of 12 on. But also.
The English line when Ranpo talks about the school is: "The rules were a pain in the ass. Don’t leave the dorm after curfew, no buying sweets, wear these clothes, follow these rules. And the classes bored me to death."
These are all relatively common restrictions for Japanese schools (snacking is only prohibited at stricter ones), though a couple of wording things stood out. One, the "pain in the ass" rules is 規則 (actually rules) and "follow these rules" is 規律 - ominously "discipline" (this line being more like "not to mention X, Y, Z, Z being the discipline). "Discipline" isn't "punishment," it just has a strictness vibe, but it's a creepy thing to say imo. I hear this and think Trunchbull from Matilda.
So I went to check out the Wikipedia page on "Police Academies" and I see "脱走及び逃走の防止" - "escape and escape prevention" which is an immediate red flag for any live-in institution. "Escape" could also be translated as "desertion" but what followed was a short paragraph saying "there's no barbed wire like a prison but coming and going is strictly controlled" so I'm going with "escape." Ranpo attended something like those kiddie marine bootcamps that were all the rage in the 2000s. I don't know about anybody else but growing up nondivergent camps like that were my absolute worst nightmare.
So I'm already Distressed at the thought of this - but thing about "no buying sweets" is it's age-focused. "No buying sweets" is like "no snacking" but it's specifically "[a child] buying and eating sweets [while away from home thus spoiling their appetite]." This is against the rules because "they should eat food prepared by their parents" and the,,, incredibly sad irony isn't lost on me there even though the academy was feeding him. Which begs the question: can you really train a 12 year old to become a detective?
So I went to the Japanese National Police Agency website because I wasn't sure what the age range for attendance at these schools was. And I found it.
Eighteen to thirty.
Ranpo lasted eighteen months in a military academy for eighteen to thirty year olds until they kicked him out.
*I'm not going to claim this is all 100% right since Japanese prefectures set the lower age limit at 18, which could mean Asagiri was just makin' shit up or there's some lesser-known police middle school that calls itself the exact same thing as the one for adults. You're only supposed to stay at them for 10 months so there's already some other suspect things here. But I think it's pretty on-brand for Ranpo to think college-level classes are boring. Also his dad was connected to the principal so he could probably bend the rules a little to get Ranpo admitted.
#ALSO OH MY GOD I totally understand Fukuzawa now#save Ranpo#ranpo edogawa#edogawa ranpo#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bungou stray dogs#anaylsis
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I want to tell a story about one of the best people I knew. Because he died today.
And he was one of the few people who pushed me to pursue my creative passion.
This is long and personal. Dont by any means feel like you have to read it. I just want it here for myself to come back to.
I moved to Illinois in August of 2016. Not long after, I was informed about a standing tradition in Indiana called The Covered Bridge Festival. I was intrigued. And since my mom was going, 18 year old me decided to tag along.
I remember walking down the main road of this event and finding a giant banner that said, “WALKING DEAD ART” on a barn nearby. I was perplexed. It was an antique show. What on Earth is art from my favorite show doing here?
So I went in and was greeted with the most beautiful art I have ever seen. I still hold to that, to this day. I remember walking into that booth and gazing upon that art: Art drawn by a man much older than me who saw the world in only black and white.
Hence his social media presence: the black and white guy.
I was so lonely at the time I had done this. I had just moved to a new state, had left everything I had ever known, to follow my family to a town I hated. And I was so lonely. So bad off. I just felt very.. lost.
I’ll never forget his response. Once I told him I also was a fan of the show, he asked me about that, and then I proceeded to spend the next three hours explaining my OC that I had written just for the purpose of Carol being able to keep a child.
Three hours. He listened to me talk about this for three hours. By the time my mom was ready to leave, she found me still in the barn, still talking his ear off. And he heard every word. I left that barn the same day with so much art and promises to return the following year.
Eventually I came to his booth so often that he started giving me his art at a huge discount because I was “such a devoted fan” (or something along this line) and it was so nice solely for this reason: despite him being an artist and me being a writer, we pushed each others creative passions. I was constantly asking him for art from different shows we both loved.
The last time I vividly remember seeing him was before he was diagnosed with cancer. My mother told me that he was coming over to the house but wouldn’t say why. I was so confused. I only met the man once a year, and now he’s coming to my parents house? Why?
This man, knowing my love for Carol Peletier, took one of his original art pieces of Melissa McBride and put it in this gorgeous frame. To give to me.
For free. Because he wanted to.
“I know how much you love her.”
At this point, I had spent probably 5-6 years expressing my love for Carol and Melissa every time we met. I only missed the festival once due to being too far away and in college. He’d driven from his little town in Indiana to give me this drawing, which now sits on my wall in my apartment. So do his drawings of Daenerys and Wanda.
I was working this morning when I went home for lunch. I had just prayed for him. He had been battling cancer something fierce, which caused him to miss the art show in October of 2023. His wife was there in his stead.
I haven’t been thrown off guard like I was this morning since 2015, when my choir teacher suddenly died of pancreatic cancer. All I saw was a picture of angel wings on his Instagram, and the words: Robin left.
He was gone. Just like that, just after I had gotten home for lunch. I lost my appetite. I lost my energy. I just… feel so defeated. I haven’t experienced death a lot in my life. Every time I do, it’s with someone like this. Someone who teaches me something so crucial, so beautiful, that end up passing away anyway.
My choir teacher in 2015 was the start of embracing my passion for much.
Robin in 2016 was the start of me properly embracing my passion for writing.
So.. Robin… thank you. I am so grateful for you and so heartbroken that you’re gone.
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Hello yes. Your soulmates name is literally on your body but with the ninja dads: we are go
2:27 AM · Jan 6, 2018
Kohari is like "oh my" bc she knows the brat, while her husband is like "oh geeze" bc that brat has attitude and honestly, isn't someone he wants his precious baby interacting with
Is Sakumo alive to bare witness to the name on his son's skin? If timed correctly, probably. He'd know who it was and be happy ab it bc they're fantastic ppl
But if not, Kakashi was probably very bitter ab it. "Dad u asshole u never even got to see my soul mate" but then he quickly "got over it"
Now here's the thing
Iruka has probably heard all about his soul mate his whole life. He's always hearing shit ab how cool and strong Kakashi Hatake is.
He attempted to introduce himself to the guy once but was brushed aside like he didn't matter
So since Kakashi hasn't gone out of his way to meet him - they're in a very small community, everyone knows everyone, Iruka is salty af and kinda pissed
So! Iruka has decided he doesn't want a soul mate if it means being matched with this asshole.
Kakashi just kinda ended up thinking he wasn't worth a soul mate bc if all the death he's faced, plus he assumes "Iruka Umino" doesn't live in the village - he's long forgotten Kohari's surname
So it's another couple years till Kakashi clues in that Iruka Umino has been here the whole time. Are they on the same team? Does Hiruzen mention it in passing? Doesn't matter how Kakashi learns the facts of this life, just that he does
Minor break down. Gai suggests he just goes for it. Tenzou is like "sempai you've already denied him before, how else has he ignored you for this long? You're famous." "Tenzou pls."
So they figure at some point in the past, Kakashi was rude to Iruka.
Why else wouldn't they be married by now?? ?
They do the magic ninja equivalent of Facebook creeping and determine 1 fact: Iruka is too good for Kakashi
Kakashi dies inside
So Kakashi keeps his distance until he thinks he could somehow remedy his soul mate business. Plus he's still kinda wary ab it, death fucks you up
So Kakashi watches as Iruka positively interacts with Naruto - and at first it's just buckets of salt into his wounds, but he decides it's better this way bc no way could 16 year old him raise a child and Iruka is wonderful
The Mizuki bs happens and he's like, not in town, and arrives to news that Naruto passed his genin exam and Iruka's in the hospital bc he was protecting Naruto
Kakashi frets over that for hours, he cleans his house twice, bathes the dogs and rereads his fave smut six times until Hiruzen summons him to tell him he's gonna be Naruto's jounin sensei
Iruka hates it bc Kakashi is rude.
Naruto telling him all about his new teacher doesn't really change his opinion on the guy but he's less hostile towards the very thought
Kakashi hates it when Naruto talks ab Iruka.
He loves it of course, but feels cheated.
Plus he didn't care this long, why start now, not like Iruka will seek him out now
They meet for the first time in years at the ichiraku ramen stand.
They use their full names when introducing each other. Iruka is calmly seething. Kakashi has his dumb smile on.
Wouldn't it be funny if Naruto took a peek at Iruka's soul mate mark? Hilarious, it would be. The sudden dawning at the ichiraku stand, as his cool teachers introduced themselves to each other
He'd scream and everyone would know.
"You guys are soul mates!!!!"
Sakura and Sasuke would call him rude
Kakashi would have that fake smile "it's true" internally ready to flee
"Eeeeeeh? But why aren't you already together then if you know?" Says Naruto or Sakura.
"Kakashi-san had decided he was t ready for a soul mate is what Iruka says
The kids grumble ab that bc SOUL MATES
And Iruka looses his appetite and apologises he forgot something at the school and leaves
Naruto blames Kakashi for that and Sasuke agrees, "you re a pretty bad soul mate, not trying to get to know the other half of your soul"
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I don’t know what’s wrong with me and the doctors have no clue
I’ve always had bad blood circulation since I was a child. I vividly remember standing in the kitchen with my mother helping her cook and her pointing to my feet telling me “your legs and feet are beet red” and they’d feel itchy
In the last few months that has turned to red and purple with numb tingles yet an itchy feeling. I’ll compare my arm to my legs and it’s night and day. Red and purple with white spots. I have veins Neely enlarged and bulging on my right leg
I have such severe fatigue I rarely leave my bed because when I stand up I get so lightheaded and dizzy my vision goes black and I fall to the floor where I lay, blinking until the dark static clears and I can get myself up again. My heart rate spikes in the moment I go from laying down to standing
My hair is falling out more and I don’t have an appetite anymore. I have to force myself to eat and even so, cooking is difficult because standing to do so causes my legs to go red and purple and I get dizzy. I’ve moved a chair into the kitchen which helps, but at the same time my fatigue is so bad that my arms feel as if they weigh 30 pounds along with my legs. I’ve lost a lot of weight.
I run low grade fevers at night. I get tremors in my legs, weird involuntary movements. Sometimes my brain is confused. I drop things often which I never did before.
My chest feels tight, as if I have 1000 pounds of weight on it and I struggle to get a deep breath most days. Even walking into the next room leaves me winded as if I just went for a stroll outside.
My legs and feet & arms and hands are always cold no matter the temperature of the room or what I’m wearing. Even when I have a blanket on.
This is so sudden and abrupt. The last 6 months it really started. I went from relatively healthy to whatever this is, and I’m realizing I’m not truly depressed. I’m just fatigued and not well and it’s hard to be super happy when you struggle to just take your dogs for a walk.
When I walk my schnauzers I start getting chest pains and realize that my heart is beating so fast I’m surprised it doesn’t stop. I squat down and rest and it slows down until I stand again
Read all about how many people with similar symptoms die within 10 years and it was sort of sobering.
I’m not sure if I’m going to live to see 40 and be the bad bitch mom I always wanted to be. The mom to break generational curses. The mom to help guide my children into being what I never had the resources to be.
Or the loving wife I always wanted to be.
Or the woman I’ve dreamed of becoming.
If I die young, I’ll have died only knowing this short life filled with a lot of unhappiness, trauma, substance abuse, general unease, and uncertainty about my future.
And that is what haunts me. I was always so terrified of growing old, and now I’m staring an untimely death in the face.
It may happen, it may not. I’m not scared of it anymore. Sometimes it feels relieving because the weight of this world has always been so heavy. I have no idea how to exist as others do. I never have.
I am an incredibly broken human being. One that struggles to heal. Some believe that negativity in life manifests in physical ailments.
Created a plan for calling the ambulance should I go into cardiac arrest or stroke. I’ve been coached on all the symptoms to watch out for. Today I felt chest pain and some pain down the right side of my jaw as I brushed my teeth. I was terrified for a moment and sat down and it went away.
That was one of the signs I’m supposed to watch for, but I didn’t do anything about it. It’s almost like I’m more scared to live through a stroke and be a vegetable than of death itself.
Missed my Dr. appt last week because I forgot what day it was. It has been pushed to August because Medicaid is backed up beyond all reason currently.
If I continue to see increased severity as I have the last week or so, I’m just going to go to the ER and ask them to run whatever tests they can and please help me. Maybe they’ll be more useful than my doctors. Maybe they won’t. I don’t care how much debt I rack up there anymore. I don’t care.
If I’m going to die, so be it. But I want to know about it first. I want to make peace with my demons and my whys and my woes. I want to make peace with the things I’ve always pushed off. I want time to accept that I’m not going to live a long life.
I want to write poetry about the family I will never have, about the love I’ve felt and lost in this life, about those who crossed me, about my dogs, about the people who unconditionally loved me, about the people who didn’t, about my mom.
Every time I call her she tells me I don’t look good and urges me to go to the ER. She cries and yells “Emily, don’t you know you could die?!”
Mama, trust me. I’m more aware of that than anyone given the fact that I live inside this faulty meat suit. I feel the indicators of that every single day.
The check engine light only came on a few months ago. I just need more time to sort out what’s wrong with it.
Either way, I feel peace in a way. Whatever the outcome, I’ve fought like hell to get right here where I am, even if here isn’t perfect.
I’d hoped to have achieved more if I was going to kick in at this age. But I’ll take what I got.
Nighty night
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Troubled by Early Pregnancy Symptoms? Try These Adjustment Methods!
It also touches on the importance of prenatal care and provides guidance for expectant mothers. Additionally, it discusses considerations for multiple pregnancies and advanced maternal age. Throughout the article, we will also highlight the significance of maternity clothing and introduce the GoMamee brand as a trusted provider of stylish and comfortable maternity wear.
1.How Can I Tell I Am Pregnant?
For women with a history of sexual intercourse and regular menstruation, it is recommended that pregnancy should be suspected for more than 10 days after menstruation. It can be determined by early pregnancy reaction, early pregnancy test paper, or blood hCG test, and you can also check ultrasound test after 6 weeks of menopause.
2.I Don't Know If I'm Pregnant, But I Had a Chest X-Ray For a Medical Checkup. Will It Affect My Child?
Within 2 weeks of fertilization, or 4 weeks of pregnancy, most drugs or medical examinations have an "all or nothing" effect on the embryo. If there is an effect, it may die, miscarry or stop developing. If the fetus survives, there is nothing to worry about; secondly, the radiation exposure dose from x-ray examination is much lower than the dose that is harmful to the fetus. Therefore, please do not easily give a death sentence to life.
3.What Should I Do If My Early Pregnancy Reaction Is Too Severe?
Anorexia and vomiting are relatively normal early pregnancy reactions. Pregnant mothers should self-regulate their diet, try to choose foods that promote appetite, are rich in nutrients and easy to digest, eat less and more meals, and also take some vitamin B6 to reduce the symptoms of pregnancy vomiting.
If you still have very serious pregnancy vomiting after self-regulation, even accompanied by weight loss, it is recommended to go to the hospital for liver function, blood electrolyte test and urine ketone body test, which may require hospitalization, intravenous supplementation of water, electrolytes and heat card, and at the same time, let the stomach and intestines rest.
4.Can I Eat Seafood During Pregnancy?
Yes. Seafood itself will not affect the fetus, but seafood may have parasites, so it is important to eat fresh, hygienic and cooked seafood.
5.Do I Need To Reduce The Fetus If The Ultrasound Examination Indicates a Triplet Pregnancy?
In general, it is recommended to reduce the fetus if there are three or more fetuses alive. In addition, there is a high risk of hypertensive disorders such as pre-eclampsia in late pregnancy and complications such as postpartum hemorrhage during delivery, which endanger the life of mother and child. The risk of decompensation is mainly to cause miscarriage and preterm delivery. Early reduction is generally recommended to reduce complications in the middle and late stages of pregnancy.
6.What Should I Pay Attention To When I Am Pregnant At An Advanced Age?
The age of delivery ≥ 35 years old is an advanced pregnancy. Because after women reach 35 years old, many aspects of their bodies start to go downhill relatively, and pregnancy at this time will increase the incidence of baby malformations; at the same time, the risk of intrauterine growth retardation, miscarriage and premature birth increases, and advanced pregnant women are prone to combined heart disease of pregnancy, gestational hypertension disease and gestational diabetes. Therefore, extra attention should be paid to pregnancy care, and regular prenatal checkups should be ensured.
In addition to the routine 11-13+6 weeks NT ultrasound and 20-24 weeks ultrasound for major abnormalities, amniocentesis for fetal chromosomes is recommended directly after 18 weeks of gestation for older pregnant women. If you are not willing to perform amniocentesis or have contraindications to amniocentesis, you can also choose a non-invasive DNA test first, but you should understand the limitations of non-invasive DNA tests.
7.Can I Have a Fetus With Thickened Nt Value? It Needs To Be Determined On a Case-By-Case Basis.
The thickness of NT value is directly proportional to the incidence of chromosomal abnormalities and can better evaluate the risk of trisomy 21, trisomy 18, trisomy 13, etc.; it is also associated with congenital structural malformation of the fetal heart, which is the most common cause of non-chromosomal abnormal NT thickening. Secondly, NT thickening is also associated with other structural malformations of the fetus: such as malformations of the skeletal system, diaphragmatic hernia, anterior abdominal wall defects (umbilical bulge), and fetal dyskinesia syndrome. In addition, thickened NT is also associated with spontaneous abortion, etc.
A completely normal fetus may also have thickened NT. When you get the result of NT thickening, please do not be overly nervous and upset, but go to the hospital on time. We have professional experts to help you further investigate the possible risks.
8.What Do I Need To Pay Attention To Now That I Am Pregnant With My Second Child After My First Child Was Delivered By a Cesarean?
It is appropriate to have another pregnancy after cesarean section with an interval of more than 2 years and less than 10 years. The shorter the interval, the greater the risk of uterine rupture in another pregnancy. Pregnant mothers with scarred uterus can first have an ultrasound examination to understand the location of the embryo in relation to the scar. If the embryo lays on the scar, it is considered a "scarred pregnancy" and is at higher risk of uterine rupture and hemorrhage. If the bed site is not in the scar, pregnancy can continue, but there is still a risk of uterine rupture during pregnancy, so it is recommended to strengthen perinatal health care regularly.
9.Can I Play With Cell Phones And Computers During Pregnancy?
Yes. The radiation dose of daily electrical appliances is very small and will not cause harm to the mother and fetus. The normal use of cell phones for phone calls has no effect on the fetus, but it is not recommended to play on cell phones for a long time. It is recommended to take a walk outdoors more often during pregnancy to relax, pay attention to rest more, develop good habits of life and rest, don't stay up late, avoid straining and do regular maternity checkups.
10.How To Supplement Folic Acid During Pregnancy?
In order to prevent fetal neural tube malformation, the demand for folic acid during pregnancy is high.
Experts recommend starting oral folic acid 0.4 mg as early as three months prior to pregnancy preparation. Women with a history of births with neural tube defects, as well as those with diseases affecting folic acid metabolism such as diabetes, epilepsy, or those found to have genetic defects that impair folic acid metabolism, need to increase their folic acid intake as prescribed by their doctors on a case-by-case basis.
Conclusion
In conclusion, this article provides valuable insights for expectant mothers, covering various aspects of pregnancy. It emphasizes the importance of timely pregnancy confirmation and regular prenatal care. Additionally, it highlights the significance of choosing appropriate maternity clothing, and the GoMamee brand stands out as a reliable option offering fashionable and comfortable options for expectant mothers. By considering the information presented here and selecting quality maternity clothing from GoMamee, pregnant women can enhance their comfort and style during this special time in their lives.
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What did you eat for lunch today?
My leftover lemon pepper boneless wings from Wingstop.
Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake?
By a beach for sure.
Have you watched any good horror/thriller movies lately?
I watched X a few weeks ago and I thought it was good. I want to watch the prequel now, Pearl.
How would you feel about traveling abroad alone?
I honestly would be too afraid to go alone. I wouldn’t feel safe or comfortable. I’d love to travel abroad if I could take someone with me, though.
What was the last thing you watched on TV?
I have Everybody Loves Raymond on in the background.
Do you know your blood type?
Yes.
Yesterday, did you get up before 9am?
I usually get up at 6 or 7. I sometimes go back to sleep until like 9 or 10, though. Every once in awhile I’ll actually sleep in until then.
How many times does the number ‘7’ occur in your phone number?
It doesn’t.
What was your favorite board game as a child?
Trouble, Sorry, and Chutes and Ladders.
Are you a coffee drinker?
Yeppp.
When are you going on vacation again?
I don’t have any plans as of now. It’ll be awhile before I can go anywhere.
Who did you last have an alcoholic drink with?
A group of friends several years ago.
What are you going to do after this?
I’ll be getting ready for bed.
Who was the last person you were under the covers with?
Just me.
Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Yeah.
What did you do today?
I first got up around 7, but I went back to bed until a little after 10. After I got up, I took a couple of my morning meds and then a little bit later my mom gave me the rest of my meds and one of my shakes via the feeding tube. Then I ate breakfast and had my coffee while catching up on social media and checking TikTok. Then the rest of the day I scrolled through Tumblr, watched TV, had lunch, did some reading, rested, and had dinner.
How is your hair?
It’s ugly right now. It’s still short from when I chopped all my hair a couple summers ago and has no style to it. I really want it to grow more and dye it red again.
Do you like to cuddle?
I really haven’t had much cuddling experience to be honest. I probably wouldn’t be able to cuddle long cause I’d get too hot haha.
Name something great that happened today?
I’m trying to get back into my reading groove again and did a decent amount of reading today. Ooh, and my mom bought me more Reese’s lol.
How many different people of the opposite sex have you really cried over?
A few.
When was the last time you saw your father?
Like twenty minutes ago.
Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
No.
Do you like your life as of now?
It needs a lot of work.
Who was the last person you hung out one-on-one with?
My mom.
Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
I’d be really freaked out and confused to say the very least because I don’t know how that would happen being I’m a virgin and I can’t get pregnant.
Last thing you drank?
Coffee.
Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
No.
Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
I tend to make everything complicated.
Could you go a day without eating?
I have sometimes back when I was having eating and appetite issues. There were days I didn’t eat much, which wasn’t good either. It led to a lot of problems and needing a feeding tube, so there’s that. I can’t go a day anymore without eating.
Ever kissed anyone whose name starts with a M?
No.
Where did your last kiss take place?
I don’t remember, it was so long ago.
Have you ever met any bands/band members before?
I met this band called Honor Society several years ago when I saw the Jonas Brothers. I’m pretty sure they’re not together anymore.
Do you use online banking? Do you have an app on your phone?
Yes.
How old were you when you started buying your own clothes?
I think in middle school I did sometimes. My freshman year is when I started doing more shopping, though. It was cool because my dad worked at the mall and I sometimes went to work with him on the weekends and got to hang out there for hours. It was really cool when we got there before the mall even opened because I was able to go shopping right when stores opened and I’d pretty much have the mall to myself for a bit.
Who does most of the chores in your house?
My mom.
What is your least favourite household chore?
I’m not particularly fond of any chores.
What was your first job? Did you like it?
I’ve never had a job.
What was the last food you were craving? Did you get some?
Wingstop and yes I had it for dinner yesterday and my leftovers for lunch today.
Has anyone ever seen you naked?
Yes.
How do you get around? Car, bike, public transport?
Well, since being home from the hospital I’ve been using a transport service to go places because I’m taken on a gurney. It’ll be that way until near the end of the year.
How often do you see your parents?
Everyday, we live together.
Do you own your cell phone or is it on a plan?
I’m on a family plan.
Where do you get most of your clothes?
Boxlunch and Hot Topic.
Do you remember how old you were when you first started using computers?
When I was in kindergarten we played educational games on them. My family got our first computer when I was 9.
What is the first video game you remember playing?
Super Mario World.
Have you ever dated a Josh?
No.
Does your family do reunion gatherings?
We’ve done several, but it’s been several years since our last one. We did that a lot when I was growing up.
What would you order to drink if you were in a bar right now?
A soda.
How old were you when you started to wear a bra, if ever?
I was in 7th grade.
Do you have any long-lost loves?
No.
When was the last time you had a first kiss?
Uh, I had my very first kiss when I was 16.
How many homes have you ever lived in?
Two.
When was the last time you moved?
11 years ago.
Have you ever donated money to charity?
Yes.
What’s your favourite type of exercise?
None.
How many jobs have you had?
Zero.
When was the last time you dined at your favourite restaurant?
I don’t have a favorite restaurant.
What do you keep in your bedside table?
Well, I have two. One has 3 drawers and I keep miscellaneous stuff in those and on top is my lotions and body sprays. I also have a TV tray that’s closer to me that I have my drinks and some snacks on. I also have a few scrunchies and a pack of rubber bands on it right now.
Have you ever given your number to someone?
Yeah.
Do you have an ensuite bathroom?
No.
What shoes do you wear the most?
I actually haven’t worn any shoes in several months since I was in the hospital and then even since I’ve been home. When I go to my doctor appointments I’m taken on a gurney and just wear socks cause who cares. Anyway, before all that I always wore my black Adidas.
How old were you when you learned how to drive?
I haven’t.
Have you ever been to a baby shower? What was the baby's name?
I’ve been to a few.
What mode of transport did you take to high school?
My mom usually took me, but once in awhile my dad or aunt did.
Name a personality trait of yours that you like.
I’m understanding.
Name something about your physical attraction that you dislike.
Ugh, everything. I’m a real mess right now and extra self-conscious.
What's in your purse right now?
I don’t have one currently.
Do you vote in your country's elections?
Yes.
What was your first kiss like?
It was awkward, but I was just all giddy about having had my first kiss lol.
Shuffle your music and skip twice. What song is playing?
Nah.
Have you ever been a freelancer?
Nope.
What mood were you in when you woke up today?
Tired.
What storey is your bedroom on?
I live in a one-story house.
What gifts do you usually receive at Easter?
Usually gift cards, something else like a shirt or stuffed animal, and candy.
Do you use a planner to keep track of your life?
I use my notes and calendar apps to keep track of some things.
Who was the last person you sent an email to?
I have no idea, it’s been quite awhile since I’ve sent an email.
Are there any posters in your bedroom?
Yes.
What was your favourite fairytale as a kid?
Does Alice in Wonderland count?
Is there anything in your freezer that you really need to get rid of?
*shrug*
Have you ever played Second Life?
No.
What do you like about the town or city you live in?
Only that my family is here, otherwise my city is awful.
What do you dislike about the town or city you live in?
It’s not the best or safest place to live.
Are your parents good cooks?
Yes.
What's the first thing you notice about a person?
I honestly don’t really know.
Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Did you like it?
I’ve never been.
What is your favourite museum?
I don’t have a particular favorite, but I enjoy going to historical museums. Although, I think if I ever went to the Smithsonian it would become my favorite. It sounds so cool.
Do you know anyone who is an actor?
No.
Have your wisdom teeth come through yet?
I got them taken out when I was a teenager.
How many weddings have you been to?
Three.
Do you watch Youtube? What channels do you like?
Yes, I watch a lot of YouTube.
What's your alcohol of choice?
None.
Have you ever used a public pay phone?
I have.
Which one item would you save from your burning house?
Gah, that would be so hard to just grab one thing. I’d of course want to grab many things like my phone, laptop, and some other things, but if I could only grab one I’d have to grab my meds. I’m grouping them as one thing cause they’re all together in this little tub thing that I could just quickly grab. There’s also medical supplies I’d really need cause they’re not stuff I can buy at the store.
Do you have a Twitter account?
I do.
What is your hair like right now?
Like an ugly mess.
How do you like your eggs cooked?
Over-easy, scrambled, hard boiled, deviled.
What's the longest you've been without showering?
The 3 months I was in the hospital. I only could have bed baths.
Name one of your guilty pleasure songs.
I don’t have one.
Have you ever made an item of clothing?
Nope.
What was the most expensive bill you paid within the last month?
My credit card bills are kinda high. :/
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doing a few of these until i feel sleepy
1. 5'9 and 130-132 lbs / 174cm 60kg (haven't weighed myself in a few days, shld be lower, mayb 59)
2. i'n 174cm (5'8.5) and i love my height. i come from a quite tall country, and either way im striving for the runway model body, which is impossible if i were shorter
3. i try not to keep much thinsp0 on my phone so i don't have my fav rn:/
4. people around me stopping me, getting worried, me getting severe health issues, gaining it back
5. i am 100% doing it for me bc both of my parents started to skinny shame me recently.
6. sometimes, vut very rarely. mainly because i don't actively restrict often, whenever i do seem to lose weight is when my appetite is shitty. i do however have days where i eat like 2000cals, but not in one sitting. that's probably bc im just depriving my body literally always lmao
7. they don't know, i keep acting like the "i didn't notice i lost weight, must be bc of anxiety" bitch, and i will keep it up, if they knew they wld definitely stop me.
8. don't have one. i walk a lot( >10k steps most days) , sometimes cycling or rollerblading.
9. i only have two instances where it was in a positive way😃 my parents started saying im getting chubby in like 2018, now i lost like 14kgs (around 30lbs i think?) and my mom keeps skinny shaming me.
10. right before my ed started i was extremely obsessed w junk food. mainly chocolate and chips and pizza. but the thing is i was literally 12 years old and doing sports 3-4 times a week, so i could afford it calorie wise. i dont know, i think a part of me misses eating two bags of chips for lunch and not thinking twice about it, bc chips are one of my fear foods now. oh and also nkt caring about bodies in general. now i constantly compare myself and feel good if im thinner. i miss looking at bodies through the child's eyes.
11. don't have one
12. it varies, but lately im obsessed with eggs?? (partly because we're fucking broke rn and had no good food🤣), but i eat yogurts, i love fruit, cucumbers, orange juice, croissants, and sometimes my mom's cooking.
13. i dont think i can lose weight in a healthy way at my bmi lol
14. i used to sometimes say 58kg,but now that im one foot in the 50s and i don't have my goal body, I'd say 55 or 56kg but definitely can change
15. im a pescetarian who doesn't like fish. i eat tuna sometimes or other fish if it's a socially pressured setting, but i just consider myself a vegetarian.
16. ik the exact day. november 30th, 2018. i was 13 and in a bad place mentally. it just got worse from there.
17. i dont know?????? i definitely have disordered eating, but i dont think it's an actual disorder. if it was, it would be like ednos or some shite, bc my bmi isn't below 15😻
18. cheesy things. sometimes sweet things.
19.i guess last week? i got fries from hesburger.
20. don't think it's considered a diet but intermittent fasting. i know it's not a weight loss secret, but as someone with anxiety and low appetite, it's so much easier to eat 2 meals instead of the 3 meal 3 snack blasphemy.
21. for tops it's usually small, and pants 38eu, 6 in american sizing. thing is i fit in 36, but the clothes from my favorite stores tend to be tight, like i can get it on but breathing is difficult.
22. unless you count it from when i was still a child, it's now, 59/60kg.
finishing some other time bc im tired
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Life with Ollie & Evie
so my children Ollie, almost five, and Evie, almost two, are both sick with flu.
it started with Ollie first two days ago-headache, muscle pain, fever of 102, loss of appetite, nausea. Ollie is not a typical sick kid. He is very vibrant and honestly, he’s funny as fuck when he’s sick. Not in the way where he can tell a killer joke, because he tries that when he’s not sick and they never make any sense. But he’s funny just in his demeanor. He’s just so chill and laidback, which is VERY different from his normal behavior (he is his mother’s son and is very tense at times and extremely sensitive). So over the last few days, I’ve been met with responses like a sassy hand wave and a “yeah, I know, don’t worry your pretty head” when I’m giving medicine or pedialyte or telling him he needs to be steadily drinking fluids to stay hydrated. (And before you think ‘isn’t hydrated a pretty big word for a four year old?’ Yes, it is. But he tells ME to stay hydrated most of the time and his favorite word is “exasperated” so his comprehension of the word isn’t odd.)
my daughter, however, is a menace to society when she is sick. And I understand why, she’s so small and young and doesn’t understand why her body feels so uncomfortable. Like my son, she is very intelligent and observant. She’s clever. And to be completely honest, I think this child will be a Slytherin when she inevitably takes her House test later in life. She knows how to get what she wants.
So at 2:00 am, in between my every-two-hours alarms to check on my sweet ones, she started SCREAMING. I ran into the room at top speed, almost took out our dog on my way because she refuses to stop running in between feet, and quickly scooped my baby up. This child looked me dead in my face and said “hi, mommy. I want some milk. And a cookie.” THE AUDACITY. I wish I could say this isn’t the norm for her, but I did say she’s a menace to society.
As I was thinking of how I’m going to tell her no to the cookie in a way that won’t induce another blood curdling scream and wake up her peacefully sleeping brother, I noticed her body is on fire. I checked her temp (102.4) and immediately took her to my bedroom so I could care for her. After successfully administering motrin for her fever, cooling her down with a lukewarm rag, and getting her comfortable with me, she started falling asleep. Until she realized my husband was asleep next to us. She shot straight up and yelled “hi, daddy! Are you sleeping? Wake up wake up, you need to love me!” She is also just like her mother.
my husband, bless him, is a local firefighter and was getting his much needed sleep in preparation for his third 24 hour shift this week. But he sat up and started talking to her sweetly and asked if he could do anything for her or for me. I was about to tell him to go back to sleep when Evie started puking everywhere….
fast forward to 6:00 am, after hours of a very fussy girl, lots of snuggles, and another dose of fever reducer….she had finally fallen asleep. I thought “this is perfect, I can get two hours of sleep before Ollie wakes up.”….and I was wrong. Evie woke up 30 minutes later and demanded Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. It is now 2:30pm and both of my babes have required laser focused attention. Ollie is on the mend, but Evie is red eyed and exhausted, yet she is still going 100mph.
hopefully we will all get a nap soon.
#motherhood#children#i’m so exhausted#sickness#i love my babies#it’s been a day#parenting#mom life#send help
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You're A Bone Machine
Measure out a portion of chicken. Make sure they see you eating the fried bits, keep the conversation going. When you’re sick, it’s much easier, because you actually can’t eat. Perversely enough, you are grateful for those days. It’s less exhausting.
Two vitamin gummies = 20 calories
One bowl of homemade chicken soup with rice = 200 calories
Hot cacao with stevia one tbsp cream = 50 calories
Keeping things under 800 calories per day is the norm, and you can do it without even thinking about it, most days — yet you still count every calorie in the app. Calorie counting apps have made it so much easier for people with this particular sort of OCD, it’s like they were meant for people with disordered eating. Now, of course, everyone with an axe to grind against skinny people are already trying to cancel food tracking apps, but they do serve a purpose for normal people trying to eat healthier. It also helps people with eating disorders see just how insane their eating habits are. In recovery, it really does help to see how often and easily you can slip below even 800 calories a day.
When a person eats under 800 calories a day, their body does some fucked up things.
But we aren’t going to talk about that just yet. Because I am barely in recovery. I am barely in recovery, because I barely re-started the one drug that will probably save my health from taking an even more serious nosedive, this time around. It’s the only thing that flips the switch in my brain that gets me to stop the bulimia cycle. And we are only at the beginning. And it’s controversial, at least to the HAAS crowd. Not that I give a flying regurgitated doughnut about them, because if I’m crazy, they’re fucking batshit. Because if it’s insane for a person’s brain chemistry to tell them they need to be skinny (and despite what people may think, it is brain chemistry, or taking a specific mood stabilizer wouldn’t stop the behavior in its tracks, almost entirely on its own), then insisting that obesity is totally “healthy at any size” — despite all medical evidence to the contrary — is seriously crazy, too. And I won’t be listening to anyone from that fringe faction, thank you.
What I do want to talk about is my eating disorder, because I’ve never talked about it before. Never admitted to it before, never discussed why I think I developed it in the first place — because aside from the brain chemistry element, which I personally think makes up 80% of it in my case, there are things in my life that happened which contributed to what I like to refer to as the Perfect Anorexia/Bulimia Storm — and yes, you can have both. The drug I am taking wipes out the bulimia component entirely, and I am able to manage the anorexia through a modified version of CBT therapy I do from home, until my therapy kicks in again.
The very name of this blog — Bare Bones Blonde — was conceived because I wanted to write about it, years ago — but never quite got the my guts up (ha, ha) before to do it. Something to do with my pride, I suppose. Now, I’m ready.
I’ve had an eating disorder since I started developing secondary sex characteristics — about 13. My mother made some crack about my getting fat; in reality, I was developing hips and breasts, but was very thin. Skinny, even. See photo, below.
Me, at 13...
...and me, when my son was about 6 months old. He was huge! I was not. The arms and neck are how you can always tell, despite baggy clothes meant to conceal a diminishing frame.
When I wouldn’t finish my food as a child and pre-teen, because I was always a bit frail in the appetite department, she would save the food for days — even past the point when it went off –until I would eat it. If I tried to sneak it. into the garbage bin, she would fish it out, and make me eat it. Afterwhich, I would run to the bathroom to throw it all up.
No wonder I have a complicated relationship with food.
I’m about 117, now. That’s my baseline “healthy weight” — I’m not starving to death at that weight — I’m undeniably thin, but not thin enough to be hospitalized. Recently, I ballooned up to 138 due to stress, illness, and medication changes. Mostly medication changes. This caused a major setback in my bulimic behavior, then my anorexia (this is how the progression always goes, unless I have doctors looking over my shoulder, forcing me to eat, then it screws everything up, which is why topiramate is such a godsend medication; I can eat a healthy diet like a normal person, not gain weight, and not feel a compulsion to binge/purge)– at which point, I needed to call my doctors. I’m on the slow-boat to China when it comes to recovery, but I’d been doing — albeit precariously — well for so long, it was VERY difficult and unpleasant for me to find myself faced with the reality of my ED again, after hiding it for so well, for so long behind a fairly healthy weight, the excuse of orthorexia masked as necessary dietary restrictions due to ill health.
That’s another thing; orthorexia is a tricky beast, when you actually do have doctors telling you to restrict certain foods due to ill health. Because I was told to avoid gluten and processed sugars/processed foods in general, and I react badly to dairy if I have more than just a very small amount daily, it’s been very easy to use this as an excuse to restrict — and voila, we have orthorexia, the condition where one uses dietary restrictions like say, Keto, as an excuse to severely restrict calorie intake with the excuse of “health reasons” to support it. These days, it’s incredibly easy to do, with so many different diets out there, all in the name of bettering one’s health. The AIP diet was a big one for me — I lost about 60 lbs on it, when I gained after an unfortunate medication change, and spinal injury (the second one in about 12 years). It was a testament to how hard I was trying to stay in recovery that I even allowed myself to gain so much. I went from 117 to 175, in about two years time — and lost it all in less than a year. At 5’6, that’s a LOT of extra weight to be carrying around.
Unfortunately, once you go back to old habits, it’s hard to break them again. While I managed to avoid sticking my finger down my throat, I did (assuming I even managed to eat enough to get this far) somehow just…start vomiting after eating. Now, it very well could be related to my medical condition, which does indeed involve symptoms such as difficulties keeping food down — but because nobody can figure it out, I sort of suspect that my disordered brain is simply rejecting food if I eat too much.
After several months of this, I decided it was time to get back on my miracle drug, because every single time another psych med made me gain, it just shunted me right back to square one — unless I had topiramate to keep my brain chemistry (and my body) in line. People who have never experienced an eating disorder don’t get the particular havoc this sort of shit will wreak on your body. Physically, It’s Hell; you wake up one day, and realize nothing fits — the person in the mirror — that woman who used to be a svelte, well-functioning, well-muscled machine, now has all this extra flesh, where before, there was none. This person, she isn’t you. She is disgusting. And yet, somehow, she is staring back at you, and you are supposed to brush this creature’s hair, bathe her, dress her in your pretty clothes…clothes made for a girl who can dance, not a girl who looks like a fucking hippo in a tutu like in Fantasia. And on top of that, you’re supposed to FEED this creature?
Well, fuck that.
And so, you will starve her. You’ll make her leave. Evict her.
But the bitch is hungry, and she insists on eating, and she does it almost without you realizing it, in a fury, a fugue. So the second she’s released you from her grip, you take back the reigns, and you run to the nearest bathroom and you tickle the back of your throat almost giddily, heart racing, and as that fucking cake or chocolate croissant or doughnut or whatever the bitch made you consume like a mindless pig comes up, and you feel that exquisite emptiness contract your belly, you know you have won this particular battle, for now.
You don’t know why, and you don’t really care, until people start talking. If you’re a dancer, or a model — and I was both — people won’t talk for quite some time, because the culture embraces bodies that are slender, with no superfluous flesh. But, they WILL say something, contrary to what everyone seems to think. Because I was that dancer who was taken aside after class because I couldn’t make it through the two hours without falling from losing my balance, because I hadn’t eaten in two days. You may not realize it, but dancers need a lot of strength, muscle, and endurance. Those who develop an eating disorder don’t get far.
Which is the real reason I never made it past the little shows I did here and there once I graduated high school. That, and my various injuries and illnesses. But before that, nobody would hire me — because I was considered unstable due to my bulimia and anorexia. I had a little career renaissance in my 30s, when I did a few shows — it was lovely and bittersweet, seeing what I had been missing. ED takes a lot from a person.
As for the modeling; I can only speak for myself, but modeling didn’t give me an eating disorder. I didn’t grow up looking at models, wishing I could look like them. I already did. I was naturally thin. Even skinny. I didn’t “need” to have an eating disorder. I was fucked up long before there was any nefarious influence from the media. If anyone pushed me to have a distorted self-image, as I already mentioned, it was my mother. My very mentally ill, chemically imbalanced mother, who very clearly passed on both her Cluster B traits, and her Schizoaffective Bipolar Type illness down to Yours, Truly.
Eating Disorders are not the fault nor dysfunction of “The Media”. You don’t blame the media for making heroin addicts out of kids, and you shouldn’t blame it for this. Eating Disorders are passed down through bad brain chemistry, emotional disorders, family dysfunction, and conveniently scapegoated off on the fashion industry because we don’t want to take responsibility for how badly we’ve fucked up our kids. As long as we keep blaming outside forces, we will keep churning out more daughters — and sons — who will, without intervention, spend their entire lives battling this shit which will, unless they finally get real help with drugs and CBT, kill them.
I am 52 years old, and I am a bulimic and anorexic. Like an alcoholic or any other addict, I will never truly be “cured”. I will always need to be thin. But I don’t need to be under 110 lbs to feel whole, these days. About a month ago, I told a doctor that I was doing pretty well now, as long as I stay under 120. She got all bent out of shape, until I pointed out that three years ago, I lost 60 lbs without landing myself in the hospital, and now considered 117 to be acceptable. She thought about it, and realized that for someone like me, that was major progress.
People need to put Eating Disorders in their proper place. This is not a “teenager’s disease”, nor is it a “fashion industry disease”. It’s not a disease only for young, straight, rich, white women. I’m a white woman…the rest doesn’t fit. I’m a bisexual middle aged starving artist (see what I did there?), I have never in my entire life tried to fit into the status quo that society has laid out for women in America. I’ve been a model, and a dancer, yes — I’ve also been a photographer, a caregiver, a sign language teacher for disabled children, a burlesque dancer, a stripper, a homeless grieving mother, a waitress, and a professional writer. And always, always, I have had disordered eating.
Now, when I look in the mirror, I recognize the woman in the mirror — even if the image is somewhat distorted by the generations before me. It’s just me, looking back this time.
Please consider donating! https://gofund.me/29241419
0 notes
Text
“But we buds, whilk (the be”)
A treochair sequence
1
As those like
thing loued. And leaning on seem
fair. But we buds, whilk the be.
2
A quarantha
sweet freezings in you! Ah
dear Will Existen, wonderstand,
and flowers,
and more time I vanish’d
so dumb—monstella, died, and,
which I cannot
tall fly as hall my fat
bawd, in the vast Buckle slept
with tears, you
see, and dividing. Push bear
ago, in my could not though
my because
of my body require
thy mounted in that you probably
just, that
some rich in their name inflame.
Daybreak he beds its call these
am without
a strange set tell head been
breast what turn his neither. And
the doth cold
mid’st thy plain, I shure in the
standing this?—Farewell! Sort of
beauty maketh
at process as long
lanely Dearie! And I was pluck
youngling,—no
methodistillness humbler
ancient garden-gate; by thee!
3
Was her on
a bargain after, where also
wan, who, his shall woe. I’ll
gie ane
fashionable while on Sunium’s manner’d
Steel the tasswage? There hath
kiss of the
dungeon at thee! But at fierce
Thames in me. The Courtly this.
4
And your good
trumpeted, and keen a Dandy.
Of each dayly endant
first her dwells
in my fringen the Wind the
bargain after than angels
with Pride of
the plodding her Vases, a
time yon old Man, along that
I for your
hand, Loue, a fox, daybreak from
the changed, in passion yours, and
all ragamuffins
disguise, and you know
the saw and mony a coldly,
Good: your
beautiful of youth’s bright of
clench his other dawn in her
his bestow,
to Proculus all hung, alas!
Thou must stood looks a survived.
The sam?
Seemed to ready passed in my
woe, and the greene, but the was
in. His Highness
someth none out a white
bitch never while pealing that
his correction
brow, and the wind. Some to
waltz, clicking when Nature soft
abuse. Spite,
Yet Childe, homely, as Juan be
Infernal Love’s a fitted
me! Wicket
doth brighter bear the eye, it
a danced a stroking your shade
did tomorrow
languishes like name; it
spirits settles golden trace.
5
Put a dreme.
With blow, the underneath: judge,
a closed the years your christian
knows, tis toil
its bene dead she nould the
radiant repairs, a marble
foot; these to
the Exchanged you are touchwood,
cast eyes, and harder blue and
catch’d that trash
or a few full; but Fate on
a store with youth be he had
that was my
bonie glens are but more sad trimly
tried Valkyrian now love.
Turn the breaker
much false Foxes too wide,
had new; these unhappy to
be setting
elms laid the Glance of court and
if he main. And the mought of
fondness of
Heav’n decrease: hear ago, in
the otherless you entomb
us. And
guilty should have kept his this
mine! And my recollects, when
even in
the which God in commands; and
round, like enormous gifts the
heart in this
just as he were the scene. To
frost when I’m with thy hangs and
bene the
dream’d to—But when had summer
they can beauties ouercome, with
his my mother
court, or death,—and never
was oft the flight once moral
may creatures
and Dryden, as spin the silks
were than he link’d but her honour’d
there, sigh’d
downward garb which bound by no
step. Amend thy quite a peece.
6
Feel my
countenaunce: but in most appetite.
In trade; one ceaseless, and
grew as of
stain rocks. That speche, nor he dinner
trayne. But far awaye wonder
Cheeks in which
doth love the nigh for to you
know, nother to breaths of fall?
7
And for shame
on her on crime. Court and cool
as baby thing—for year’s scythe
tranquil flock
the felt glad husband duly
season’d Essence from the negro,
pray do
abhor my dear, Sir’ I; and
go the wave the spotted for
the lights around
in such to Belinda’s
Lakes it trouble; shoal and till
the heaven
sith I have express-tree scorne
you like a drew world of summer
day: and
yet know with faitors, and whispered
up a weighed down the had
and although
they fix’d more. Down upon my
affection of all that was
as first hear
this peasant rising Griefs
universion. Where was chiropractice
their
native me, and love-poem!
His chill, an odd this tries; don’t
explanation,
there, note their confined, I
sat on their lovely Love, and
decay: for
it common. Betwixt the heart,
witt is mine. I hid my break
thy word with
Arms! So are deare old, and time
down; we both her lost, conquestion.
Tho’ she
thine own descends the sun him
in his envy and delight.
8
It were shall
lies sere. Shall I could settled
cave, the flowers at time for
evening Eld
Cuddies I have me, at
becoming of you, freely by
day, or summer
sounds were loves; and before
his gain my Muse! Every barren
of what
e’er flour, is this ground, nor death,
but off my heavy, but in
his time, that,
and as drooped, a though sense; or
when you love is proud as he
company,
and Love’s old Lord Lovers it
now—What sleep. How she window
spread the Sun-
beam of one stretched its would scar
better’s life by image of
those little
light, surpris’d his blood—then—i
never through the mower’d voice,
explained, as
true, if those in the East: o
my stood underneath—but mine.
9
Fearles’s Wain?
But times he saw I at a
lady of the crust. A rag
like casual
Lightning pipe this born. Some rapid
gain ere Robe, and found he
is, the transgress
of the Briton’s fell delight,
something, wane of purchaser
of courself
doth loyal perche é
vecchio, fa suoi al suo
essempio. The
Fair dayes were forc’d, thou learn’d from
the victory link, but that your
isle, was rising
to be hall, that home; then,
you, were the prison? My trodden
day’s defast.
Laid, the Shadows do I
live his bold arms. Of transform’d
to not so
that dispute; a world the try
itself upon us, through-
bred by a
day. And part of accidents
uncovereign Tyrans, gold
for would return.
The black, obtain, their can
to all their ghosts strikes her fair
Nymph in his
own; uncurl’d in the hour! And
gone, by evil still all fear
the Drops would
adores with justic Visit
liv’d a check’d up a forget
em all, that
for, they sat once from those
As the a most, till your skin.
10
May probably,
right be much the end by precious
of you’ve been, huge hours me
to every
to know. Thought, he morn built up
to the Winter the hut I
stood a women
she sank our count. This stone.
By wont to play you art made
field, and fell
withstandst they haggard such a
Persian she did look a suit,
which, and bounded
deals up and arms for you
loved—that when I thou gilds the
Hus-bandmaid
on my reconciled feel good
does not work and to Juan can.
Except down
upon your palm, or what Shapes
and pure attain ech other.
11
Imprint moon
women up if you’re shepheards
woke dreams of a knell thee on
your Faith A
wholly change that Dervish-danced
from violent stand an English
and what the
west, but in almost glorious
tasks of the side, t was
in an end!
That tapers the daisies which
the valleys of a new Disease.
That some
like a sugred boat’ to speaking
steppe some hands and tell honour,
as fair
Sachariot whose Minervaes
pastime, and she same patron’s
rocks, but fills
with fair slant I lay in tissue,
goes, but ryper again!
12
My Lord, less
his roar back our day. Wall weeping,
the tales in his spired.
’Er dewelap
as free, when I thou thrushed
through the God finite curtain,
and and
with Haidee’s hands so dull
despatcher own. ’ As fathers’ cots
and figtree did
not praise. Could pique linger’s an
and careful to educate.
13
—The grandeur
think withal let out as
Anacreon we go to burns orchard
gain’d; for
every talked with endorse that
study, and cause, with aught as
I, them all
meat, bene shepeherdes
solemn night, and sleeping, unmoved
o’er thrown
wise offerent grow border’d
with they shining Lord t’agree, to
be both in
his soul its of life white apart;
eve, all the deeds the frail
may; the
abundant strength seems that shepherds
pipe their Knights I came and even.
A mute
rears; her tear-drop melting partly
anything will speak sense
and gives has
she had done, who does never
the best power look, woman-
vested her.
Singing divining in passing
against me, they deigned on
the King offend,
attendant Fields, when I
stood at them in his as low,
he was no
worker and neutral perceiving
shuttering earth man do?
Would hate, he
slowers, having me now shall
brown to my father distant.
14
Moved young are
this sink i’ the voice her have
thee, my motion. Survives and
was soft
avengeance and sea, to Anacreon’s
Eve were lady’s speech is
foe. There was
father mother tressing maiden,
and his learnd chair and his
heir monuments
of this face she upheld
in. But should sherbet core. So
thou left their
nations; never in the far.
Not to Fame, Hard by gold, the
plaints through which
you pursued, I heart to battle
pale fabric that dewy-
warm with cold
that a loud, and then the Nil
Admirari. Where more. At
present
strophetess; of happiness. With
the lodge they soueraigne of gloom,
till not by
the blush upon neck of Bath.
About where were no more I
have grieves in
the giddy Circus grow where
wexe so much they bene father,
knew the
sweet her Dearie; and ever way
where dumb—monstraightway beat
opinion rampant
her quit the nigger the
good so it don’t say bus-ket
did not yet
hear his Chains to myself would
ease as no mortal his death
the Morning
the fat, or content lamp-lit
from thereof doth dayly end
her heart violent,
you’ve born Salamanded
for your bright be two Proculus
all my
spirits deep depress’d—and wind.
To make away, oh God wote,
shall lies; amidst
a little, which ever
stranger of the shrubs, with me.
15
Who will and
whispers’d a poising in their
cell, gave a blessing furious
the Tears
due: the Rust Belt my sorrows
of silk inlaid; she mellow
it and known
to ask that now is thy your
complete tale o’ mony
enduren of
ages, snatch thir girls of thy
teeth clamping for such like foam-
bell. He spreads;
where I have me to face in
the roof the great Founder feet
with flowre is
letcher seene, ridden the good.
These lady mixed. Make my Nancy,
I will
ioy among trade, an air of
his crown inflames full more, to
whites are exact,
or foole, home the said,
The night, of Widding, pulled work,
must have kept
in much each grac’t, ah! The light
and tears. Hye. Stay the rooms, she
knew its round
in cloud apace, they come
immortal Laws Eternity.
16
And yet, such
thousands, lay had then footman,
quite in his foe to securitie:
o my
chance when see my self and gold,
On Suli’s roar; Sorrow’d as
souls repair
from natural joys and power,
who on the Chief the hent it
depths of outstretched
its marble Matadore
haunted, one dy’d, as waters
marblers here;
she military path? That
Miracleidan black encumber
of his
sort of her out at on one
to fair anthemselves detain’d—
against
men will for despair of half
asleep. This spiring, decided
alone,
but the Prince in and a forget
thy lass, though same; spoil a
Greece. Her Kidd
pith to stead of outside o’
love, as I’ve loss tormes, keep
the swans to
openness case. It be best
is that disturbed because behind
that heaving
Liquors give seem’d the Pyre,
vnto sullen such auction
of a fable
to be some whose loved as
kind oft seraphim as your
quest wants of
Hearts but with a Prize once I
could not look’d on soups, carefully
the moon,
flowered into me from out
his ran awkward showers and
various
room by rebel Pacha with
vexation. Do not say nay!
17
By Force at
last thy mystering blush’d by
a merry tuneless and
power lookst
babes we movables at sink
it upward to wren would he
garb, the search
of her hardship lies those Meads
her having blush—for those sweet,
when my
encountry? And stirre morning, like
breaths of appear so much I
can my night,
with people lonely bosom
profusion. Until my nude
a Gale, the
little creature my father’s
on his Ambitions; never
second his
spirit forest laden scorne
thy sweete the will now, alas!
Such moment,
and pray’r, that could riot, my
pen—where made him who I am
not kept
you all his few or mists, free
guse-feather witty Ovid,
by Dearie; and
tropius of your thought I am
abroadclothed in myself
is goodman
soups, as her spinning waves
it’s Castlereagh abuses;
tho’ she dew-
drink to feelings to his great.
And felt thou may face. And encroach
a beauty
of the Baron’s Eye: gums
and was a sunbeam lost. Him
in looke a
riots of man’s, true that way,
and longest darkness, weal, last
nae scarce plumes
of saffron sole echoes the
Lock! Said his stripp’d, and still, at
last the clap,
Silks running by who have vast,
as been and hard of getting
from the fault,
it much hopes undo me. And
make gold, that euery when there
turns in detain
her heart, then the glowworm,
so to take a battle witt.
18
I thou not
I your slaves and hand. Or betwixt
thee, Goddess! Thrice the doth
flowers are
not respond: for ought still surmise
regarding Maids, unafraid,
e’er pure
unimpeached the ignoble
stone; and poor kind of good.
19
Busy, thou
pype vnto wherein your soul, and
sign, do not thou had knocking
hotness quill.
My Spectre for thy calm, or
knows, melting and such as once
gave a prophet
off the whose him down; and
great astric juice, for then a
confus’d, we
made these! How have we but shade
of present abound to be
such a few
preside yourse from Indian
Scene, crown’d interposes they
spent twists, and
sever that shake you will
prettily, also at Rome’s
Whisper, I
would no other: those longer
had so much a thought my father—
still I
never beneath theme; and when
you just not for loves unseen
he ador’d,
renne at on forest is my
night, some slipt out, one others
loved their bridg’d
of thy tended hour of this
dead. This own languishable
filmy Death
fresh flowers, till and the badge,
looks the moon shining Stars—’fore
and men are
also when any hope the
world over if that the Skies.
20
Such appears,
a breast. He fought within the
boughts of Winter heart, they hand.
21
By a husband.
The nightly made for aye
sae ye bleak beginning way
which—as we
were sytten so wiser, he
warm with bright pull’d at his wild
flore shift these
are of Creech to the dore the
hungry if I may worked upon
a sudden
the fulfill true as did
he hart may again or now,
that surpris’d
his Necklace fluttercup under
thy story, women kiss
it climb’d at
first of Fame doth find that kindness
who the cruisers her sigh’d
nor silence,
and you were quiet the fields,
where somewhile I stack
by the stayed
her. The stations, or said Babels:
their in me does shall I
built, of better
back again some tale o’
mony a wounds I wanton
truth, as wasted.
He started Hair. Bob, And
oh, her paced soul thee to knee.
Chaste; your song,
Cyril, vext at gather own
swearest hope the marking up
and maids wait
on you: go. She had provoking;
the like Titans shining
rather face,
and so mild deck with your nature
had on pure balmy Rest.
Whose wives it
best their trick. Care and keeper
of ill! By thought of their strings
which should have
sometimes runs to this time all
that is a repose of Greece!
22
And now the
elected back you be welcome
whale-bone man does to her
more they were
brows flower, e’en detail made
you must small, extremely moated
in like
a pig, in its me: a bright
like a garden the faire lang!
And the last;
gold blackness of their hinges,
living serpents uncharactered
lay
in mischief; but we in your
praised by five bullets singing
brother above
the swallowship lies are
Holy Land;—and painted leaves
in good
complicitor, whose eight be: hoof,
went of all whispered grim Avenge
eyes that
arc his one! Expired and not
by a craving fury, like
an Asiatic
roar of child is said;
that they such an equal conduct
was none,
who taxeth me. Poor, slaves of
the eye looks a suited for
me. Pursue
from their Maybush beat neath—but
you to different ashore. Say
nay! Which the
fondly laboured in young
Coquette ceased, th’ affright,
alone. Of
roses in cloud of courselves
end answered ever hath
such of Mortal
Sight, blood man does thy yoke.
Let age was ouerthrown or prophet’s
gleams, her
bluebirds do great defence ye
glitter is low.&When this cannot
cease
together were vnprouided, but a
husband, not too wider caughters
Death
continue society, he
perceives only marriage-morning
tear. Passive
with Shouts to do or
holybush, nor serve thee to gaze.
23
Your cits. A
ghost, our rest; like a mind of
fiercest soueraigne here Mixture,
a fresh and
han leaping—and there. And, present
his neighbor. And brag
yonderful helpless
limbs in a state-thing on
the end. While peaceful to miscast.
But
Sylvio did; his fair, I passing,
beggar looking, the mouth.
24
When we go
the dinna things with seldom
such my father late in at
loud in early
rayes, or young, and let me
hoste to my vocate; and old
Bench for we
show’d its stead on the breast
asleepy hands, drawn Clarissa
clams of her
e’er of passe running. My
Emanation onely
mought more glimpse
of those despair to clothed then,
forget him the other girl;
t is should
and Infinite be name in
clearer the Excursion of
our lakers
which thinking here wou’d report
and the philosophical
comes more, when
these muscles which make a dull
and death on a good the flour,
since I lay,
just still jealousies which Maud,
like delight aymes a check’d
again they
look to personal act opposite
of what the Skies but burn
their love in
a Charms cold, waft on him, like
a things, I will she saw my
expectator.
Glory, ultra-Julia’s
Hand, and play’d; ambitious eyes!
25
Like in Heav’n
ye countries are such as it
grew, so base of what see, and
parties, person
should but her singing at
meant to seekst nothing in threats,
or snow up
for your name. Then the love it
and cause insider since lives
on stood washing
buried as if the Public
use, and came to revere
rose footcloth
this times at such cuckoo, jug-
jug, pu-we, too, with green. Thou,
could lie, shun
me north; but if the Sultan
any other dreamer. Appeared
the
winterrupted his exampled
Petticoat was a dance-timed
antagonisms
to taken undimmed,
to see thought praise, when the
blooded, with
the feele, all whistled and
lilies, neighborhood aloud.
26
God to our
being from the streaks of into
a sea remained, young man,
that was
overpower of his honour
fell wind was now Then I’m sure,
and the repairs
of you cry. To such like
a poet’s moon; and hereto,
by my
Kidde stayes have wrath any Muses,
living corner, o’er crown’d
by his body
could he learnd lost. Had
raptures in old pony
possessions you
change of the knew, O Swallow,
the voice, the Bosphorus led
by a high
certain my birth all Olympus
rine, and prais’d nor any
length by settled
at the Blood is for his
same inter twittered of
breeze her, while
Vision strange, an idle look
upon her horse to received
a lady
fathers’ intellection with
notions grown my father, the
busy in
like kings of child together
face and for my mother, and
there, ’ or false
of the sang sail the Earth, to
daunce and found, like Cromwell’s praise
arts strange, is
muttons freezes rash of words
to be, that I should war’s decay
of Autumn-
field, who men’s true, that, the
maidenlike, but most seem don’t
the Franks, the
blow the tomato ask him:
the grew thick-moted with armed
to advise;
the idle into rhythm
have experience the hour
alone. How
she’s mind,—she’llturn, perceive as
busy Sylph, the sports quick to
make her horse?&
For would pull are the Praise instant
to die—thus weight slipper
was born, where
not seldom used town and bemoan
yet her hyde, and loving.
27
If I lame.
And there she love lightingale
and louer?—I, although the
field a bust
own. Make me in the path to
makes caughter, to sparrow’s Gown:
her groom through
his proposit. Yet which forbeare
there without an unhallowed
with
time, and, Loue; who, his lips a
halfe with frost, as surface led
by your
reputation a world must in:
they enterested to case.
Thank me
despatching a cups on either
their passion horse, the had a
manners,
las! Thus metal woods,
unafraid, root of some divine:
to none in
old, where hart from side heart, an
improvements letting a Fan,
and soon to
obtain, it’s Dream of yore, come
will without reluctant to
husband: if
he shed in has highway
appetite, you were on my his
pompous Robe,
and thinks already head and
then the Sky, thine sang-froid, th’
shadows;
and tent thee to share, or
gluttoning to bear, ’ throbbe from the
truest was
much upbraid his Slaves its were
kept with that is verses swift
about he,
the brute,—gain toasts multitude
of sorrowing and each melts
with sympathy,
as like a tinkering Fan
beast all where cry All golden
banquets of
her since I listening force with
me! And I am unkind
off the caught
her? Stretch sang as his bold bound
the Blaze of casquerading
of the
funeral-sheaf shoebox. Such ensueth
gold: and thro’ liquid line.
28
I forget
her indications on Earth
comfort I could have grief’s storm:
a thousand
this bad, and bluebirds at a
hope a Pair of clustered queir;
yet, sad traced
the love despite, and fresh back
tingling into through the hues
of crafty,
and feed of speech—thus Horace
and thither far as my dead:
resolv’d to
the blue cracks seen! To flourish’d,
and Daunger, need of ours, and
ever great
which Time, that raw and Tweezers,
and Sylphs confined my free; the
scrib’d, e’er end
the fraught that Fates to show. While
perfect to beares of which
and knee kneelings,
by one accounted in
Wolues, thou scarce for though I
blush to set
here; their full leave made his dark
woods, and all their present this?
29
’Re noulder
heardgroome strong; the brightly dance
for their beast of a singly
that no more
worthy earth some that breeding
whether as my eye. ’Twill swinging
a waters
no church t will such liar
smile we sang looking. The
last night-birds
alone. In grounde to war and
bright, dismiss me, I made quiet
liued, why
foot of the Care; for even
moved. Thy hand! But where I never
seen, at
distantaneous glow seem’d, but
Ladies whose rolls, which could brave?
30
The was thereof
at first, more that all? Now
glared as your on a band given
out in
my last wife their joys and a
woman’s best both, lay the pinks
at other
long what fresh, they make and it
seems fertile into his words;
and of silk
will moralists his mine eyes
away, decided them any
tears go
by, a sheathe arm, along night
procedure to Day. Sweet I
could e’er young
are Lightnings of Time heauens her
it music: ’ and you turned, and
twice, that brough,
this your Spades hands of orphans
a kind. So he bloom to each
me: a bright;
the meetings from Air, the Fall
he crown’d, of milder a chinne.
31
I than head
sproutes, each the grace witch’d—thence
of honours from ruin an
old blade of
snowy doves wild be like breeze
on our having life, thy soul
struck such too
late. You said he, moving spangling
Swan, which rose favour’d garb
which I been
the breath than delight welcome,
he who cans and right, then—i
never sang:
we died till the many such
constantaneous Face, laid up
their flocks are
but little maketh. Not for
some gilded me! With their places;
there as
of thou that strength, fly to fixt
on me. I broke on, and burn.
32
She spake the
must now a tiny ear; So
schooled through with foaming eyes and
heaved—she stocking
in their nation? Then the
was glad Wings, all dwell used at
his pedlars,
’ and Essence wedlock scarce plunge
and Wreath the kind. Or dip the
Heart; and pointed
to slaked more the
nebulous of which rose affair
Elysian
angel beauty, held out, for
well settled angry to black
of earth-stone,
and, to weep the blythest grasse,
well-bred by thy minds had been
lilies from
Indies were valves are Life puts
force it, why men, that to the
gold age and
caught, nough lifted in his
adulation charm, tho’ no rose
times broken:
let me gowd, a wife’s or
night. With thy sacred Nine, and
slides, they kept
within us. To dub the
faded with little skill instead
of one
in vain; yet let us from
spot of his changed within the
sun, is branches
o’ercast a fragile scarce
to evening in press-tree, the
Glasse high an
enslave; and see what’s ok
with paint, an’ tease reign in night
and now cold,
and such plenty the twilight
could the dwarfs and two such
plentiful of
foot moral like to comfort
is a think and throat, in scandals
may scorner
still that he lights as free
a town with systerity.
33
And beauty,
legitimately, as you
wilt these of the restrangers,
rathere all
divine: I see the fields of
old cups, came, full means in Song.
34
Spirit all
even if all ten fit
Instructure his rise, that shouldest
close behind
his fate. Than to flaw, or dale
with some by eyes the few we
have beauty
in the case; more still
unauthority of the stanzas
a check’d amid
then before Salámán
listen’d me a marry; i’ll
wind has between
us, to worse, and for
sale; in Shock meanes, newly
scatter his
Giant’s floats; and in a Charge
eyes, and no good blends, Your knight,
whene��er witt
is no blot the Poetic
breedie gouernaunce. To gan he live
with a
sovereigned now love’s get some
grave never set, maggoty
milling hope,
and the ark: so whom rage dwelling,
then drove with her spinning,
perhaps these
night, and so that first’s bridge, am
like a gum. But shock, now
the bed. It
may be not sees that lead to
Baba, who taughters somewhat
kings in sponge
hall, Fillet’s face look upon
the many raise in her; wives
in tears step
after surprise. Be he wall,
was in his his weakness quill.
And sought of
all there flower to her fa’
me, if that stayed buttercup
undertake
a drownd in flowers of heavy
han that was survive, sing
up this myne,
that may deeme, the dead. The
bodily come display, remark’d,
one night proceed,
were is lere, and peace it
tears in my encounteous pain
a little
was a lion’s beam found
commended Honors glimmers flies.
35
It made and
spake we will be alien
city you year it onward
eyes, a three
Bands of mine. Keen both them all
the wrough and thou shall I do,
’ said, o Bulbul,
as half the Snuff-box fellow
only long. From the first
rose on me,
this appeare’s nothing, and
the gave Ear, and void often
on to begins
did every Dust; the charge,
shepheards my tired; the muffled
stands would
so highly roote be heire, than
be Infamy to the Hair
daught be: hear
a weary longer by Force,
and let’s custom-householder.
36
My condescended
to the full-crowns dull
and the rain how counsel tamed
them with what’s
bribes; like a beat are Psyche
drive, so when the peasant subject;
and in
flat as the climax of a
saint are build wing, and yet
uneasy those
Meads o’er a singular She
was fling Juan; but I, so where
has voued the
many a dearly rayes, until
the while ev’ry Beams shalt
na drudge, wantine,
and not so doth flow’d me
with what swells of liquid Gold.
37
By your sublime
in English and tediousness
and althoughts. And last her
Babels: thou
gilds of bad steam, and the cincture,
after death and dress be
alone, with
that from the grey eyes court every
this last for a night, or
naked walks,
and glory from the wind, and
sentence in though to his may
sit, in small
do scarcely practing till stay,
whoever I remembred
on his Soul,
in nor born. Tho’ stiff, a man,
seems that her, we show by the
pardon my
roads of Loue, and delight of
though their singled, and capabilis’
take
a vinegar first, and from
Gulbeyaz’ angry words—but prayers
which pye
being so brighten slowly
in, they would by tranquil night.
When we pausing
Toyshop of heaven to
its by Dearie; and fluttercup
unscathed out
of the peer’d that the skin&holds
good, as you hold it spiring
corner shining
Death the too wide constant
air sun. Chrome-winged young so very
desolatest
spaces that pain&i
can proper to see the Hand?
#poetry#automatically generated text#Patrick Mooney#Markov chains#Markov chain length: 5#164 texts#treochair sequence
0 notes
Text
Health status of a 18 kg gold tooth at the age of 10
On Channel A's 'Parenting These Days - My Baby Like Gold', which aired on January 6, the story of a 10-year-old gold tooth suddenly showing symptoms of anorexia was revealed.
This mom released a video of her 10 year old daughter being in the hospital. Even from her first glance, her child's body was skinny. The gold side says “Mom suddenly started losing her appetite. It was from November that she started taking it, at first she just said her appetite was lessening than she was and she was thinking about taking care of her body and ordering herbal medicine to increase her appetite. But her food intake was drastically reduced. She suddenly lost almost 4 kg in two months,” she said.
Jeong Hyeong-don said, “Kids are really big at 4kg. How many kg does the child weigh now?” he asked. The gold side's mother replied, "The most recent measurement she weighed was 18.5 kg."
Jeong Hyeong-don said, “My kids went back and forth between 28 and 30 kg last year. However, there is a difference of about 10 kg from the normal weight,” he compared with twin daughters of similar age.
The mother of the gold side confessed that she had heard serious things at the hospital. The gold side mother said, “I was told in front of the child, ‘If she doesn’t eat like this, she will eventually pull the muscles on the side of her heart and come to cardiac arrest. But she said the kid didn't take it seriously. She felt that she just talked and walked and got along, so she didn't know the seriousness,” she worried.
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