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corazondebeskar-reads · 25 days

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of rage and ruin - chapter two

of rage and ruin series

chapter two

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werewolf!alpha!Joel Miller x f!omega!reader

word count: 3.3k

summary: you come face to face with the beast.

chapter warnings: dark, dead dove do not eat, a/b/o, alpha/omega dynamics, omegaverse, captivity, canon-typical violence, genre-typical violence, horror themes, graphic violence, allusions to/threats of torture, abuse by captors (not by either joel or reader), depiction of injury, body horror, typical raider/hunter behavior, mention of cordyceps, angst, viewer discretion is advised,

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

They were careful never to touch you. The exam you’d been given when they first brought you here was done with thick rubber gloves, and no one has touched you since.

But there are plenty of ways to teach you compliance without touching you.

Before they moved you, you didn’t see a soul for two days. No one delivered or removed the cloth strips, food, or water. No one woke you up with a loud buzzer or dragged you outside to hose you down.

No one hurt you.

The first few hours, you sit and do nothing as usual. You don’t really notice.

After that, though, you start to wait. This deviation, this anomaly, was far more terrifying than the wretched routine. And with no meals, you’re bereft of a way to count the passing of time. There’s no sunlight down here, after all.

To your deep relief, the lights still go off at night. Until you’re lying awake in the dark and realize they’re probably on a timer. So maybe all your captors are dead. Made a stupid mistake and got their asses handed to them by FEDRA.

Which would be nice, but also, you’d still fucking die. Because you’re trapped in this godforsaken grimy ass basement, and somewhere on the other side of it is the only other resident you know of. Him.

So either you starve to death, or he eats you. Or both.

You spend the next day hoping to see Cheryl’s smug bitch face.

When someone finally comes for you, it’s not Cheryl. It’s not Jim, either, but that’s not a surprise. He doesn’t like you, doesn’t like whatever Cheryl’s doing with you.

Not because he has any objections to the captivity or abuse. No, Jim’s been clear—you’re a waste of resources.

Anyway, it’s fucking Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber who show up. They’re not real twins (you’re not even sure they’re brothers), but they’re a damn good argument for nurture over nature. Spending the apocalypse together has them moving in tandem, grunting and jerking their heads to one another in a language all their own. They’re built like oxen and about as polite.

You don’t fight anymore, but they still tie you and drag you around. You haven’t so much as argued in weeks. You’ve heard that everyone breaks from torture eventually. You waved your flag from the start.

You’re not made for this.

They tie you up without touching your skin; hands layered in gloves just in case. They leave a length of rope from your wrists to pull you by, leaving the rope around your feet as it was. You had earned that six inches of slack, just enough to stand and walk to the makeshift toilet instead of crawling, after a solid week of good behavior.

When you figure it out, though, you try to run. Every electric screaming nerve in your body says to go. Go where? Who fucking knows. Anywhere. Away. Run.

The room they’ve brought to you is saturated in oaky musk, and you only need a glimpse of the little cage within before you’re jerking backward.

They must have gotten used to your compliance because the rope flies from Tweedle Dumb’s grasp. The three of you stand still for a moment, all shocked by the turn of events.

You turn to run, but it’s too late already. One of them swept your fucking legs like this was an action movie, and bound as you are, that’s the end of the fight. You crash and earn yourself some new bruises, and they drag you into the room by the rope between your feet.

One of them—you’ve forgotten who had which nickname in all the hubbub—snaps out a baton.

“Get in the fuckin’ cage, or I’ll break your ankles.”

It’s a strong argument that you have no desire to see if he’ll follow through on. Already hurt and humiliated, you crawl into the cage.

They lock it behind you and leave without another word. The lights go out with a buzz, casting everything you hadn’t taken in yet in total darkness.

When the lights come back on, you wish they hadn’t.

At first, you don’t even realize they’ve flickered to life, because what they’ve revealed isn’t real.

It’s a big, brown Rorschach blob. It’s an oil spill. It’s moving, in a jerky, fluid way that should be impossible. The limbs have pointed bony joints, and you can only describe the way they crawl as spidery, though they’re thick and bulky.

Jim is standing on the other side of the gate, holding onto a thick chain that rattles and creaks dangerously as the beast strains against the thick metal band around its neck. He looks bored, but he usually does.

Cheryl, however. The way her lips are curled, eyes wide and bright… this must be him.

“Don’t you know what happens to the others? The alphas?” she had teased the night of all the howling. She had laughed at the traitorously dumbfounded look on your face.

You do now.

A long pink tongue has unfurled from his massive jaw, flopped over far too many teeth, and dripping thick saliva onto the floor. The… fur, for lack of a better word, around his muzzle is matted with something dark that you can’t look at anymore.

Jim yanks him by the chain, and the creature lets himself be pulled to the door, barely holding still while the padlock and chain are removed from his collar and the cuffs from his paws.

He’s at the end of your cage before you realize he’s moved, and you scream, scrambling back as much as you can into the corner. The spaces between the bars are thin enough for just his… good god, are those fingers? They certainly aren’t canine toes. They’re tipped in thick, long claws packed with soil and detritus.

“Hey,” Jim barks, and the beast side-eyes him. “Remember what I fuckin’ told you. You break or eat her? That’s it. I’m not getting you another one.”

Eat? Eat?

Oh god.

Your stomach swoops and falls, abdomen clenching and drawing attention to your too-full bladder, unlocking a new fear that you’re going to piss yourself if he comes closer.

He does. You don’t. But just barely.

That long, dark snout pushes against the cage, as if it could nudge through to reach you, pink tongue lapping against the air. The oak musk is so strong now that it lines your throat and makes you gag.

You choke back a retch-turned-sob and he rumbles, a strange vibration that rattles the bars where he’s pressed against them. He rises, stretching up up up on his hind legs until he towers over your little cube, enveloping you in his shadow, and you can’t help it. You start to cry.

He can’t reach you, not when you’re tucked back in the corner of your cage. But he can smell you, and he can smell the rich iron soaking into the ropes around your wrists. It’s not yet visible, but the skin squishing through the edges is red and rough.

He whines, pushing his muzzle against the bars, long tongue flopping out like he can reach.

The sharp battery acid edge of your fear spikes, and he growls. Stupid girl. Stupid fucking omega. He’s trying to help you, and you’re—you’re—

You’re starting to cry again.

He can’t make human words like this, can’t enunciate or even really remember them. He tries to reach you through the bars again, snarling when they burn against his knuckles. Even the distended bony fingers of his full form can’t reach you there, not even with the tip of his claw.

You’re shaking now, body twitching and jittering beyond your control. Everything inside you is screaming white-hot and dissolving; vomit tickles the base of your throat, and you just can’t stop crying. It hurts; it’s ripping your throat and lungs to shreds. It’s a violent, tumultuous thing, and you can’t stop the wounded keening of your cries.

He’s pacing in front of your cage now, the beast, on four mangled limbs too long to be canine and too warped to be human. His huffs startle you, long snout returning, again and again, tongue darting out for a taste.

A little drop of blood slides down your hand from where the rope’s edge cuts into the bottom of your palm.

He freezes, nostrils flaring. You freeze, barely breathing.

He looks right at you and then tips his head back to howl, the sound like icy water through your veins.

You can’t help yourself. You scream, broken as your voice is from all the tears.

Between the cacophony, Jim stomps into the corridor and slams his hand on the wall. “Shut the fuck up, both of you!”

“Help me,” you yell.

I’m trying, the wolf howls.

“Please, please help me,” you gasp, sobs reaching new highs alongside your panic.

“If you don’t quiet the fuck down, I’ll open up your goddamn cage and let him eat you,” Jim snaps. “I said you were going to be more trouble than you’re worth, and I was fuckin’ right.”

The beast snarls, snapping his sharp teeth at the air.

Jim regards him with a sneer. “And you! Giving her a heart attack counts as breakin’ her.”

The words don’t make sense, but you don’t really hear them, anyway. “Please, I want to go home, please, please,” you whisper.

But no one’s listening.

The Wolf is listening.

He prowls back and forth on all fours, which really, isn’t any more or less terrifying than when he rises up on his haunches. Neither image capitulates to your need to make it make sense. There is no sense, no logic, no reality that can hold him.

The wolf, for really, that’s what he is, isn’t he? God, you don’t want to say it. Unbidden, a memory works loose in your brain, slipping out of the crates of nonsense stored away in favor of survival, and rattles around.

I know what you are. But you won’t say it.

Did you bring this upon yourself for reading trashy supernatural romance novels? Did you watch Underworld too many times? Did the shot actually put you in a coma, and you’re living in some kind of nightmare?

The wolf is watching you. There are no whites in his eyes, just pools of gasoline on muddy puddles.

You close your eyes and pretend you can’t hear the way his claws click against the tile.

While Laura had fed them stew, she told them about the trials.

They had been the first. The first taken, before volunteers were called. Before they knew they’d need secure places to hold them, they had been gathered for observation in an old YMCA, packed in racketball courts so the doctors could stand outside the large wall of glass and watch them all at once.

They stood outside that glass and watched them change, in one way or another. The ones who turned, as she called it, went first. The ones who would become test group alpha. More than half of the overall subjects, who became suddenly, violently ill.

They left them all in there with the rest, waiting, watching them cry out, watching them vomit and sweat and break impossible fevers. Temporal thermometers reading 105, 106, before they’d succumb to unconsciousness.

If they woke, they were… inhuman. Something more. Something hungry.

A lot of the first round of test data was lost when the subjects were eaten. But some were lost to the turn. Test group beta, Laura’s brother among them, didn’t survive the fever.

Laura’s husband turned but didn’t lose himself to the beast. Something in him stayed present, alert enough to protect his wife from the others. Or rather, something in her kept him that way. Something that had turned in her too, albeit without the violence, into something more than she’d ever been before.

“They drove us out of the QZ,” she said, picking idly at a gouge in the table’s surface. “To shoot us where they could burn all the bodies and forget.”

“And what happened?” Tommy asked, leaning forward with his elbows on the table.

“We ate them.”

They come back for him that night but he’s not waiting for them. He’s sat with his big, furry back to you, close enough to the cage that you could pet him. The thought crosses your mind in a moment of delirium. You could stick your fingers through the little bars and feel the coarse hickory hair. You know, if you were clinically insane.

You’re not about to offer him a little snack.

He’d given up on reaching you a few hours ago, content to sit there unmoving once your tears dried up. It’s only slightly less terrifying.

But when they take him out, you only get to sit with the relief for a moment. Minutes pass in the dark and silent room, but you regret letting your guard down when footsteps echo through the cavernous halls beyond.

The Idiot Twins are back, and they’re not taking chances with you this time. Oh, no. When they unlock the cage, you’re faced with the barrel of a handgun that doesn’t leave your temple as they pull you out by your bound hands.

They don’t bother to stand you up or give you a chance to move on your own, just dragging you out of the room and across the hall. You’re sprawled on your stomach across the frigid floor of the new room, with the door slamming shut behind you without so much as a word.

The rusted pipes on the wall in the beast’s room make more sense now, once you take in your shadowy surroundings. This room has the same shitty tan tile over every inch, but the walls are lined with blue (or what used to be blue) lockers. Not a single one is intact, whether rusted or dented or doorless, but they’re unmistakably lockers.

There are two lines of seamless benches, though half are rotted to oblivion. But it’ll be a better bed than the floor.

This is practically paradise. There’s a tray by the door that you don’t see for a while, but when you do, you almost cry again. Might have, if you hadn’t spent the day in tears.

It’s just broth and water, long gone lukewarm and dusty, but you set upon it like a vampire upon a vein. Wait, no, you really don’t want to think about that right now. But it’s not your fault you’ve got monsters on the brain.

Your reprieve is not long. The sun rises.

The beast returns.

Oh, and he’s pissed that you’re gone, based on the fucking racket that brings you back to the waking world.

“Oh, did you think you’d been good enough lately for a treat?” Cheryl taunts him.

The steel doors between you aren’t enough to hide the sounds of his fury.

“You’ll have her back when you’ve earned her,” she tells him amidst the cacophony of snarling and gnashing.

It’s ten days before they return you to the cage. Ten days of poking around the abandoned lockers and finding nothing. Ten days of broth delivered at dawn and dusk. Ten days of your back no longer appreciating the bench to stretch out on.

Ten days of listening to the nonstop scratching and growling and whining from across the hall. And worse. Oh, much worse. Wet squicks and splatters and harsh groans. You’re not sure if he’s eating or masturbating or what, but it sends shivers through your whole body each time.

It also sends the weird, sticky slick pooling between your thighs, but you ignore that. It’s been happening since the shot, one of the weirder side effects, but it’s gotten downright fucking annoying since you got here.

You try not to think about it.

It’s not long after they drag you back to the little cage that they drag him into his. For that’s what this room really is, you know that, even if it doesn’t make you feel better about being in there with him. He’s trapped, too, but you’re the one in danger.

They haven’t untied your wrists since the first time, which have blistered and bled and scabbed until the ropes rubbed the scabs raw and started the whole thing all over.

He smells it before he sees it, any interest in the slippery sweetness on your thighs gone when he tastes the blood in the air.

Hurt, he whines, though you can’t understand. Help.

You don’t cry this time, don’t split the sour tang with salt, but the fear and pain and exhaustion are enough to center him. If he tries, if he could just focus…

And there it goes. You watch, mouth agape and eyes blown wide, as he shifts in front of you for the first time. He backs away while it happens until he’s on the other side of the room and sits his very bare ass on his bed.

You watch the way his bones jerk and his body shakes and cracks and huffs out sharp, agonized grunts until he’s just a man. Just a man, nothing more. Just a beast masquerading. Worse than a wolf in sheep’s clothing, you think, because you know he’s the wolf, but right now?

He’s just a pathetic, broken human. Bruised and bloodied, though his marks are rapidly fading as the healing takes over, but his face is edged in nothing but pain and sorrow.

“M’not gonna hurt ya,” was the first thing he croaked out.

You startle, rattling the cage a little, which makes you wince.

But he stays on the other side of the room. He’s sitting on his mattress, legs bent up and crossed, as if he had anything left to hide. As if you hadn’t seen too much already.

He tries not to think about it, but jesus. It’s a fucking struggle. As he takes you in this way, unclouded by the hazy moon, it still punches him back. Your smell.

Joel’s never really liked tart things. Too much of a secret sweet tooth, of a deep yearning for the char and depth of anything fresh from the grill.

But even now, even nearly fully man , he’s salivating at your green apple tang. Of uncovering the sweet ‘n sour burst of you on his tongue. Of letting his sharp teeth fall sharper through the tough act you fail to wear right, too bruised and soft underneath.

To feel the way you’d give beneath him. The way you’d spill down his chin. No. He has to get a fuckin’ handle on himself. He can’t even look at you, not now that he knows you can smell the salt of his own slick where his swollen cock sits sobbing, neglected and furious.

“I’m not,” he protests against your silence.

He’s not sure who he’s trying to convince.

But he doesn’t stay himself for long. Not after he thinks instead, suddenly, of autumn. Of the sweet smell of the orchard. Of taking Tommy’s truck up up up into the places where seasons meant something.

The roads sprawled like veins and they followed them with no end just to see the way the trees curled overhead, branches reaching and burning with dying leaves—a sight so devastating that Joel considered leaving Texas behind for somewhere he could start to take this beauty for granted.

Chasing the colors led them first to a field of corn, blustering amber in the setting sun. They had returned the next day, fresh from the motel with burnt coffee and warm flannels, parting with precious dollars for the privilege of picking pumpkins and apples and a little corn husk doll.

He’d have paid every cent ten times over to see Sarah smile like that again.

This is where the man breaks and bows out. Where the wolf at its weakest is still stronger than Joel. He gives in, gives into the grief, gives into the wolf, and shifts back. He stays curled up on his bed, though, and doesn’t look at you.

He doesn’t speak to you again for a month.

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#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfic #alpha!joel miller x omega!reader #alpha!joel miller #werewolf!joel miller #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o verse #fic: of rage and ruin #the last of us fic #the last of us fanfic

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our-lord-satanas · 2 months

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BAPHOMET

WHO ARE THEY?

Baphomet is a Pagan deity that represents duality and balance. Most people work with Baphomet in order to become more peaceful, understanding, and balanced. Baphomet is often referred to as ‘Satan’ or ‘The Devil’, which isn’t true. People mostly say that because Baphomet has pentacle on their head and they have the head of a goat. A goat represents fertility and spiritually.

BASIC INFO:

Appearance: in some Pagan traditions, Baphomet is seen as a symbol of balance and unity between the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine, represented by a human figure with the head of a goat. In other traditions, Baphomet is considered the personification of the primordial chaos and oblivion. In some folklore and myths, Baphomet was a symbol of fertility and reproductive power, and was often depicted as a hermaphrodite or a hybrid creature.

Personality: Baphomet is often depicted as a fierce and formidable entity, representing the destructive and chaotic forces of nature. Although they can seem intimidating and unpredictable, they also have a nurturing and compassionate side. Their personality is often reflected in the dual nature of Baphomet, where they are both masculine and feminine, gentle and fierce, peaceful and intense. They are a symbol of balance and unity, the meeting point of opposites and contradictions.

Symbols: pentagram, head of a goat, human body with an animal head, pentacle, sword, key, male and female, and the words "As above so below"

God/Goddess of: sexuality, demonic forces, wisdom, nature, balance, darkness, and pride

Culture: Demonic

Plants and trees: rosemary, lilacs, irises, lavender, aconitum napellus, black walnut, and cacao

Crystals: obsidian, amethyst, onyx, crystal quartz, garnet, black tourmaline, ruby, selenite, and brown quartz

Animals: black goats, snakes, wolves, ravens, dogs, oxen, and black cats

Incense: dragon’s blood, black musk, opium, frankincense, and mag champa

Colours: black, white, yellow, red, green, purple, gold, and dark blue

Tarot: The Chariot, The Hermit, The Empress, and The Devil

Planets: Saturn and Mars

Days: Saturday, Tuesday, Walpurgis Night, Halloween, Blavatsky Day, The Winter Solstice, and Yule

Parents: Lucifer and Lilith

Siblings: none

Partner: none

Children: Azazel and Astaroth (not official)

MISC:

• The Union of Male and Female: Baphomet is often depicted with both male and female characteristics, symbolizing the unity of the masculine and the feminine.

• The Balance of Good and Evil: Baphomet is an entity of balance, symbolizing the interplay between good and evil in nature and in life.

• The Sabbatic Goat or The Horned One: Baphomet is often portrayed as a goat-like creature with horns.

• Harmony

• Knowledge and wisdom

• Power and strength

• Spiritual knowledge and enlightenment

• A balance scale, which represents balance and harmony

• The word "Solve and Coagulo", which translates to "divide and combine" and refers to the dualism nature of Baphomet

• Rebellion and defiance

• Freedom and individuality

• Unity and togetherness

• Chaos and disorder

• Sexuality and sensuality

• Nature and wildness

• Protection and defense

• Magic and witchcraft

FACTS ABOUT BAPHOMET:

• Name: Baphomet is named after the Greek word "baphos," which means "the virgin."

• Symbol of the Satanist: the imagery of Baphomet has become a symbol of the Satanist church, with variations on the iconography being used by other satanists.

• Relatioinships: Baphomet is a figure in the Gnoetics who often represents the synthesis of female and male principles.

• History: the figure of Baphomet is believed to have originated among Gnostics, a group who blended early Christian and Greek-Roman mythology.

• Role: they are believed to represent the balance of male and female and the union of good and evil, acting in many ways as a symbol of the Satanist.

• Associations: they are often associated with the concept of balance, as well as various other aspects of Gnosticism, such as the concept of the duality of existence, the synthesis of opposing forces, and the merging of opposites.

• Connection to the beast: it is said that Baphomet symbolized the balancing of the inner animal nature with spirituality and intelligence.

• Nature: Baphomet is considered to be a symbol of the balance of opposites, blending the masculine and feminine elements into a singular whole.

HOW TO WORSHIP BAPHOMET:

You must ask Baphomet if they want to work with you. Baphomet is a deity, so you shouldn’t be commanding them or telling them what to do. You must be patient with them. (Watch out for trickster spirits). Respectfully ask them to give you a sign, and if you’re respectful enough, you might as well get an answer.

If they answer YES, you can create an altar to be more connected, but if you cannot then have something that reminds you of them. It can be small and simple.

If they answer NO, respectfully apologize for disturbing them. If you connected through an object then you don’t have to throw it out, you can cleanse it and get rid of that intention. If it’s something from nature, you can bury it.

HOW TO PRAY TO BAPHOMET:

To begin, you can address them by name and say something like:

"Great Lord Baphomet, keeper of balance and bringer of harmony, I come to you seeking your wisdom and protection. I offer myself to you, my heart and my spirit, and I ask for your blessing in this prayer."

"Thank you, great Lord Baphomet, for walking by my side and guiding me on this path. I depart from this space with balance and peace in my heart and with a sense of purpose and direction. Hail Lord Baphomet.”

WHAT ARE SIGNS THAT BAPHOMET WANTS ME TO WORK WITH THEM?

If your request to work with Baphomet has been accepted, you can look for these signs:

• A strong connection or attraction to Baphomet.

• Desire to explore or study Baphomet's teachings.

• Wanting to explore your own masculinity or femininity and find balance in your own nature.

• Desire to challenge social norms and embrace your own unique identity.

• Feeling of being guided by a force outside yourself.

• Feeling of being called to a higher purpose or feeling like there's more to your life than just everyday existence.

If your requests to work with Baphomet have not been accepted, you may see the following signs:

• Your intuition may lead you in a different direction and away from their teachings.

• Signs in your life may not align with their teachings or you may feel unclear or uncertain regarding their energies.

• Dreams and meditations may involve different figures or energies, and you may feel a lack of connection with Satan or Baphomet's energies.

Overall you need to be respectful of deities denying your request.

OFFERINGS:

• Your time.

• Meditation.

• Communication.

• Carving Baphomet’s symbol or name into a candle.

• Any kind of art of them.

• Being respectful.

• Learning about them.

• Candles.

• Liquor.

• Ropes.

• Incense: dragons blood, black musk, frankincense, etc.

• Animal skulls, bones, horns, etc.

• Dark or red flowers

DEVOTIONAL ACTS FOR BAPHOMET:

• Reject traditional values and social norms

• Embrace your masculinity and femininity

• Live a chaotic, self-guided life

• Reject authority and control

• Seek freedom and autonomy

• Balance your masculine and feminine energy

• Practice self-love and self-acceptance

• Live a hedonistic lifestyle of pleasure and indulgence

• Be brave, adventurous, and open to new experiences

• Live an unconventional life.

IS IT SAFE TO EAT OR DRINK AN OFFERING I GIVE TO THEM?

It is not recommended to eat or drink an offering that was given to Baphomet. Baphomet is a God of excess and self-indulgence and represents the darker sides of the human experience. Eating or drinking an offering made to Baphomet can carry risks of negative side effects, such as a lack of balance in one's life, a sense of greediness or addiction, or other negative energetic effects. Instead, it's recommended to dispose of an offering made to Baphomet in a respectful and safe way.

#fyp #fypシ #fypシ゚viral #fypage #fyppage #tumblr fyp #paganism #satanism #satanist #deity #deity work #deity worship #occult #baphomet #pagan #god #goddess #information

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