the anti mike posts sentiment rise only leads to more pro mike activism posts so really everyone's losing here

Survivors, Hunters, and Promiscuity

Basically, who’s willing to get freaky outside of a relationship. I was actually a little torn while thinking about this. Like, I think it was a bit less common to hookup at the time most of these people came from…but also everyone is kinda stuck in a pocket dimension for eternity, so, ya know.... As a reminder, I don’t write cheating tropes, so this is all above-board, consensual, non-exclusive, etc. etc.

Let’s Get Freaky

Luca. I think he would definitely prefer to sleep with a partner, but I also think he probably got around a bit before the accident. He was popular and passionate, so people were drawn to him, but he was also too busy for a serious relationship. As long as he likes someone’s company he sees no reason to not enjoy their body too, if they invite him. However, he’s also more likely than some of the others to catch feelings for whomever he sleeps with.

Luchino. He’s got a pretty high libido and has no problem separating feelings from sex. As long as he doesn’t hate you, and there’s mutual attraction, he’s down to clown.

Norton. He’d take a bit to build some trust first, but after that he’s down for a quicky. He understands that hormones run high sometimes, and it doesn’t have to mean anything beyond needing to get off. Outside of a relationship, though, he doesn’t like undressing a ton, so it really will be a quicky. He doesn’t necessarily need to like you, either. I don’t recommend a hate-fuck, but hey if that’s what you’re into.

Naib. He’s of the opinion that this unconventional situation calls for taking your comforts where you can get them. He’s also pretty good at keeping sex and feelings separate, but requires a base-line trust level like Norton. He can’t be watching his back when his dick is out. He understands craving intimacy, so he’s willing to be sensual even for one-off hookups.

Fiona. As long as you’re not the crude type, she’s alright with some fun between the sheets. She can keep feelings and sex separate as long as she can isolate from you for a few days after the fact. Gotta cancel out that post-sex dopamine.

Mike. He’s fun, friendly, and lived life constantly on the move! He’s fine with flings, but would prefer something like FWB, if not an actual relationship. He trusts friends to communicate with him more, which takes more stress off his shoulders and keeps things lighthearted.

Patricia. As long as she’s attracted to you and you get along, she’s down. Frankly, she’s always been a bit impatient and has trouble waiting for the things she wants. (Your body included.) Who needs those drawn-out courting rituals when she’s got a perfectly good bed upstairs?

Orpheus. If he finds you interesting, he’s probably willing. He doesn't even really need to like you--he's another willing to hate-fuck. His libido is lower than others, though, and he’s busy, so hookups won’t happen as often as with others. Also a little more likely to develop feelings for his bedroom partner…though they may be based more in possessiveness than romantic interest.

Antonio. He would strongly prefer a relationship, but certainly doesn’t begrudge anyone for attraction or urges. He gives in himself, from time-to-time, but he does require trust and physical attraction, as a baseline.

Phillipe. He craves comfort and release. He’s not as likely to seek out others for sex, but if you come to him there’s a decent chance he’ll agree. He prefers to have feelings for his bedroom partner, but it’s honestly not a requirement. Also willing to hate-fuck. He’d be weird about a FWB. Like, you’re platonically involved, why do you want to see his dick??

Fool’s Gold. Don’t know if I recommend this…but you know what, you do you. Definitely hate-fucks. (He hates pretty much everyone, so there you have it.)

In Certain Conditions/ It’s Complicated

Joker. He’d rather be in a relationship…but he’d say yes when his feelings are deep enough. He’s afraid you only want him for sex…but he can’t always resist the “take what you can get” mindset.

Vera. The circumstances are a bit dubious, but she finds sex to be a good distraction. Another one of those bad coping habits she leans on when she’s a bit desperate. Deep down, she’d rather sleep with someone she’s exclusive with.

Emily. She could do a FWB, but wouldn’t just do random hookups. She needs there to be a certain level of trust.

Eli. He would strongly prefer to be in a relationship first, but if you have some reasonable apprehension about commitment, he’s understanding…and can be seduced.

Demi. She’s very friendly and understanding…but she has other things on her mind. She takes no offense to propositions, but need time to decide she can have frivolities like sex while still worrying about her brother.

Ganji. He would maybe do a FWB or a situation-ship of some kind, but he’s only interested in sleeping with someone he knows returns his feelings. If for some reason you can’t do a proper relationship yet, that’s fine, but he can’t do one-sided physical affection.

Frederick. Is willing to sleep with anyone he has romantic interest in. You don’t have to be dating already, but he does require a certain level of intimacy built outside of the bedroom. In other words, wine and dine him.

Joseph. If he sleeps with you, he’s been pining for a while. You don’t have to be exclusive yet for him to break, though.

Alva. You don’t have to be exclusive yet, but if Alva is taking you to bed then you should know he is, in fact, courting you with the intention of being exclusive later.

Only With a Romantic Partner

Ithaqua. Literally if you’re not dating he doesn’t even like you. (Though, there’s a chance you might have a “hook up” before you know you’re in a relationship with him lol.)

Aesop. Could honestly take him years to get comfortable enough to explore that.

Victor. He’s too shy, too untrusting to sleep with someone he’s not exclusive with.

Emma. She only feels attraction for romantic partners.

Andrew. He doesn’t trust anyone but a partner to touch or see him like that.

Melly. It’s just not a priority for her.

Anne. Like Andrew, she doesn’t trust anyone enough for that. Even a romantic partner will be waiting a while for her.

Emil & Ada. Alone or separate, they need commitment and courting.

Alice. She’s busy with other things, and frankly doesn’t even notice her own physical desires unless she has a partner she can spend extensive periods of alone time with.

Michiko. She’s a lady of standards. She’ll accept nothing less than utter commitment.

Wu Chang. They’ve already got one another, they don’t need you unless love is also at play.

Mary. The same as Michiko tbh.

before volume 2 comes out, i just wanted to talk about why a lot of people love byler and why i personally think it's one of the strongest and most genuine relationships in the show, since i'm so tired of people acting like it's "forced" and "unrealistic" when it actually isn't

*note: this gets veryyyyy long because they mean so much to me and i have a lot to say :')

before i start, i just wanna say that these are my own opinions and observations especially after watching season 4 volume 1 and hearing the cast and producers officially confirm that will likes mike. i’ve been watching stranger things since i was 15 and will has always been my comfort character and someone i can relate to in some ways, so exploring more about his character is so important to me and i just want him to be happy. also, i just need to mention it’s completely okay if you prefer byler platonically! their friendship is beautiful and of course it should be appreciated. not everything has to end up romantic anyways. it's also fine to prefer certain ships over others so there’s no need to get into arguments or get mad at someone just because they have a different opinion. but this specific post focuses on byler as a ship so keep that in mind before reading!

but anyways, back to why people love byler.

their story is so beautiful and meaningful to so many of us because they've known each other for such a long time and have such a close and genuine bond, and if they became canon it could actually work really well especially after everything they've built up throughout the entire series and all the hints in season 4 (which i talk about in more detail below). also just to make it very clear, i wouldn't want to see eleven heartbroken. i love her so much so this would only be in a situation where mike and el mutually broke up or something like that. but yeah, people will say "byler doesn't make sense", "it's unrealistic" or "it's forced", when it really isn't. if anything, byler is probably the most realistic and genuine ship on the entire show because they've known each other for most of their lives and genuinely love and care for each other so much. also, there's been so many situations where best friends develop feelings for each other, especially when they've known each other for a long time and share the same interests and have experienced the same struggles throughout childhood (neither of them had friends before they met each other, they were both bullied in school, etc.) and they've always stayed by each other's side.

side note: i also feel like people wouldn't be saying it's "forced" or "unrealistic" if will was a girl instead of a boy, which is really sad because it shouldn't matter. if you think mike and el are cute but mike and will are "inappropriate" just because they're boys, that's just hypocritical and homophobic because it shouldn't be any different. they're all the same age and the love they share is so beautiful and wholesome. there's absolutely nothing sexual or inappropriate about these relationships, and if i see anyone sexualise them or talk about them inappropriately (especially if they’re much older than them), then i'll block them immediately because that makes me so uncomfortable. also, i’m so tired of people automatically assuming that love, romance and attraction is inherently sexual when it isn't. it also feels extremely invalidating when people assume that every single person sees love and romance in a sexual way, when they don't. i can't speak for everyone, but i personally don't like to focus on sexual things too much (it’s completely fine if you do as long as the ship is appropriate of course!! but i’m just talking about myself personally in general. i hope this makes sense haha). when i get invested in romance and ships, it's because i really love the individual characters and the emotional bond they have together. it's because it's meaningful and emotional and comforting to me. true romantic love is not exactly easy to find or experience in real life (especially when you're not heterosexual), which is why i find so much comfort in fictional characters and ships, especially when i relate to certain characters like will. it’s also really nice and refreshing to see healthy lgbtq+ characters and ships because the representation is so important to so many of us, and i think that’s why a lot of people are drawn to them instead of straight ones. for a long time, all we’ve ever been surrounded by is heterosexuality and sometimes people just want a break from that which is completely understandable. fiction genuinely brings me a lot of comfort and happiness, and in some way it can be a distraction as well. that’s why i’m so tired of people acting like mike and will is “inappropriate” or "forced" just because they’re both boys but they don’t say the same for mike and el.

it's also so important to remember that kids/teens can be lgtbq+, struggle with their identity and experience attraction to people that are the same gender, so saying "they're just kids! stop forcing sexuality on them!" or "that's so inappropriate because they're kids" is actually harmful and invalidating, and it implies that you think being gay is inherently sexual and inappropriate and that kids shouldn't see it on tv and in real life which is ridiculous because why is it only an issue when it's gay people but not straight people? love and attraction is not inherently sexual. being lgbtq+ is not inherently sexual either. it's just love and attraction. there are so many different types of attraction too such as romantic, platonic, physical, emotional, sexual, aesthetic, and more. every person is different and some people can experience either one type of attraction or more than one of them, and everyone is valid! also, people need to stop acting like everyone is born straight by default and "must reach a certain age before being gay", because that sounds absolutely ridiculous and that's definitely not how it works. straight is not the "default setting" and people don't choose who they are or when. also, if kids can be straight and have heterosexuality shoved in their face from the moment they're born, they can be lgbtq+ and also learn about different types of love and identities, and it could actually help them discover themselves, become more accepting towards others and prevent them from growing up with unnecessary trauma or feeling like there's something wrong with them. i was talking to one of my friends recently and she said she wishes there was more wlw representation when she was a teenager because it would've helped her so much growing up. this is why characters like robin and will are so important to so many people and why it would be so incredible if they can actually explore their stories and let them be happy. it's important for kids who are their age that are currently going through what they're going through and it's also important for adults who never had that sort of representation as they were growing up. also, no one is "forcing" these characters to be lgbtq+ and i'm so sick of seeing comments like "stop forcing everyone to be gay!". they are fictional characters, not real people, and one of them was literally written as gay, there's been so much subtext from the beginning, and it has now been confirmed that he has a crush on mike. also, heterosexuality is also a sexuality, so if you’re so worried about people forcing a sexuality on will but then say he’s straight two seconds later, guess what, you’re forcing a sexuality on him yourself. stop being hypocrites.

anyways back to what i was saying before, mike and will have the closest and most genuine relationship (at least to me personally) and they've known each other the longest out of all the friends. just because they're not romantically canon doesn't mean people can't see how strong their relationship is, and it doesn't necessarily mean that the canon relationships are best for the characters individually either. i think that's why so many people love mike and will, because they're so important to each other and have been through a lot together from when they were young. the little conversations they have when they're alone always show their vulnerability and they completely open up with each other which is so important to see as well. no lies, no making each other feel bad, nothing like that. they both just try to comfort each other and get each other through whatever they're going through. you can even see their eyes filled with tears at the end of some of their scenes because they care about each other so much and they feel safe and comfortable with each other. they always end up being honest and letting their feelings out. they're best friends, and if they have problems, they try to actually discuss it and sort it out rather than lie and try to change the topic. again, that doesn't always mean it has to be romantic. people don't have to see them that way and it's completely fine to love and appreciate byler platonically. even i do, and i hope people can always enjoy their friendship regardless of what the writers decide to do with their story. but i genuinely do feel like they could work really well romantically too and i think season 4 was really building up to that, especially since the cast and crew have been teasing byler a lot.

i’ve also noticed that the way mike talks to will, especially when they're having their own deep conversations, has always seemed a little different to how he talks to everyone else and it's just so cute to me. it's like he goes all soft with him and he can actually be himself and show his vulnerability, letting his honest feelings out without being held back even if that means admitting he was wrong in certain situations. being honest and communicating properly is such an important thing when it comes to any relationship, whether it's platonic or romantic, and mike and will always end up communicating so well which i love so much. the fact that will got so angry over el lying to mike and not being honest with him also really shows that honesty is so important to him and he didn't want to see mike hurt because of it (also, he would've been upset to see el struggling but it wasn't really his place or responsibility to inform mike without her knowing. el clearly didn't want him to know and if will did it behind her back, people probably would've complained about that and blamed him, and el probably would've gotten more upset. also, will explained that he had no idea el was lying to mike and he thought she told him what was going on because they sent so many letters to each other, so it’s not will’s fault that mike didn’t know about el lying). anyways i noticed the way mike spoke to will softly again in ep 4 when he apologises to him after their argument and they both have tears in their eyes by the end of the scene (similiar to the "crazy together" scene in season 2).

this is what we like to call "the will smile" :')

he just always speaks in a softer voice with him and gives him little smiles and nods to assure him, especially after they've argued or if will has been through something. even though he was being harsh at the roller rink, you could tell when he apologised that he genuinely felt bad about it and he was probably having so many conflicting feelings in the moment when he got mad at him. he also chased after him to apologise in season 3 after their argument in the rain (“it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” scene) which shows that mike doesn't like leaving will without apologising, checking on him and making up. when mike says stuff sometimes, he doesn't really mean it or think about how it could come across, and i think he always wants to make sure that will knows that. will is such a soft and gentle person and mike knows that as well, so he's always looking out for him.

you can see how much mike cares about will and looks out for him especially in season 2, as he’s always by his side and checks up on him. he constantly asks if he’s okay, he slept at his house and the lab to be by his side, he held his hand to calm him down and he kept trying to comfort him and tell him that everything would be okay.

will was extremely anxious and struggling physically and mentally during this season with the mindflayer, and mike was always there for him. on halloween night when will was in the upside down, he was calling out for mike and only mike. then mike saved him and took him home, far away from the party, and they had a conversation which ended up being one of my favourite scenes. mike carefully listened to everything will said and he didn’t freak out or make him feel like he was alone. they agreed that if they go crazy, they’ll go crazy together.

the scene in episode 8 where the mindflayer has possessed will and everyone is trying to get through to him is one of my favourite scenes ever. mike starts talking about the day they first met, and he tells will that asking to be his friend was the best thing he’s ever done. they’re both crying during this scene, and regardless of whether you see them platonically or romantically, you can just see how much they love and care for each other and how beautiful, genuine and strong their relationship is. they had no one before they met each other. they had no friends. they were completely alone. and then they found each other and mike asked will if he wanted to be his friend. they’ve grown up together, overcome so many struggles and had to deal with being bullied, shared the same interests and hobbies and always been by each other’s side. just thinking about it makes me want to cry because the type of relationship they have is so unbelievably special and precious and not everyone gets to experience something like this. they’ve been best friends since kindergarten and they’ve shared so many childhood memories together and it’s just so beautiful to me.

(CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE EMOTION IN THIS SCENE AND THE TEARS IN THEIR EYES????? LOOK AT THEIR LITTLE FACES I CAN'T TAKE IT)

another thing, childhood best friends falling in love is one of the most common and well-loved tropes in fiction and it's quite common in real life too. sometimes it can take a long time for feelings to develop between characters (either because they were repressed, in denial or confused, or maybe they just had previous relationships and were in love with other people before falling in love with someone new) and it might not be obvious or directly explored for a while, but that doesn't mean it's impossible or that people aren't allowed to enjoy the idea of certain ships. obviously platonic relationships are just as beautiful and strong as romantic ones, sometimes even stronger, and not everything has to end up romantic, but some people just simply see chemistry between characters or think that they could like each other as more than friends and that's completely okay too. especially after all the subtext, queer-coding and confirmation of will liking mike from some of the cast and producers, of course people are going to ship it even more now and see potential with them. it's not forced at all when the cast, writers and producers themselves are confirming things and including subtext in every season.

for the past few years, i've always believed that will had a crush on mike, but i wasn't sure if mike had a crush on will. after watching season 4 volume 1, i'm definitely more sure that he does and that they share the same feelings for each other. i feel like all the awkward moments and tension between them weren't for nothing, and that the writers knew what they were doing when they included them. as we know, finn confirmed that mike has no idea will likes him, so that's not the reason why he was acting awkward around him. they also left on good terms at the end of season 3, so it makes no sense for him to suddenly act so weird around his best friend who he's always been so comfortable with. the only explanation that would actually make sense is that mike has repressed feelings for will and he doesn't know what to do about it, so he distances himself from him, causing awkwardness and tension. part of him is probably confused about what he feels for el too, and based on mike and el's fight scene, it seems like he's not romantically in love with her and he's struggling with his feelings because their relationship has clearly changed a lot. then there's the episode 5 scene (which i talk about in detail here), which is honestly one of the biggest and most powerful scenes i've seen between mike and will. it's an extremely important and meaningful scene where will talks about opening up and sharing feelings, and it's obvious that he's talking about his feelings for mike. at the same time, it seems as though mike is thinking about a lot of things in that scene, and he kind of looks confused, afraid and unsure of what to do. if he loved el romantically and wasn't having any doubts about his relationship, and if he also didn't have repressed feelings for will and everything was just the same like how it has been for the past few seasons, why would he be looking so sad and confused like that? and why would will say "what if they don't like the truth?" when we obviously know what el wants to hear from mike? the only thing that would explain it is that mike doesn't actually have romantic feelings for her and if he tells her, that's why she might not like the truth. then from will's side, it's obviously about his feelings for mike and how he's afraid to tell him in case he doesn't react well. otherwise, what would be the point in all of these scenes if mike just runs back to el and confesses he loves her? it would make no sense to the writing and it would feel so forced. it would also take away all the emotional impact of scenes like this and it wouldn't explain any of the awkwardness between mike and will. what’s the point of this meaningful heart-to-heart scene if it’s not gonna result in a new outcome we haven’t seen before?

here's some other little things that i wanted to point out:

mike keeps all of will's artwork and you can see him go through it in season 1

will's painting for mike is even cuter for the above reason and we know how passionate he is about art. he draws things that mean a lot to him (their d&d party, his d&d character "will the wise", bob as a superhero, his rainbow ship, etc.)

they talk to each other differently than how they talk to everyone else; the soft voices, little smiles, tears in their eyes. it's so genuine and you can tell they're comfortable together

mike has never had a fight with will without going back to him and apologising and checking up on him (in season 3 they didn't really get to have a proper talk because will was warning them that the mindflayer was back but he still tried going there to apologise)

there's a parallel in season 1 ep 3 and season 3 ep 8 where mike hugs his mum (the first one was when they found will's "body" and the second one was right after will left hawkins)

mike telling will that hawkins isn't the same without him and that he was worried because he felt like he lost him

their emotional scenes in season 4 where they talk privately always had [tender, emotional music playing] captions and they got interrupted several times

note: the next paragraphs are just how i personally feel about mike and el's relationship especially after season 3 and 4, but i just want to make it clear that i love both of these characters and i genuinely loved the ship in season 1 and 2, so i'm not hating on them or trying to bring down anyone that ships them. they have a beautiful relationship and many sweet moments, but i just don't feel as though they suit each other romantically anymore. this is just my personal opinion especially after watching season 4.

since a lot of people are probably wondering how anyone could ship something that isn't canon (mike and will) when there's a canon ship already (mike and el), it's normal for people to get bored of the main male protagonist and main female protagonist randomly meeting in the middle of nowhere and falling in love at first sight trope, especially because it's so common and people see it in almost everything. a lot of people find comfort in lgbtq+ ships because they relate to the characters or they just simply want to see basic representation and they enjoy things that are different. or maybe they just simply believe that the characters suit each other a lot more and it makes more sense to the story and that’s completely understandable too. just because something isn’t canon doesn’t mean it’s “unrealistic” or “forced”, and acting like a ship is automatically better just because it’s canon isn’t always the best argument. even if a ship has been built up from the start doesn't mean it has to be endgame. there's many shows where the main character is in relationships before falling in love with another person several seasons later and that doesn't mean it's "forced" or "unrealistic". it's actually quite the opposite because the characters take time to actually develop and realise their feelings as they get older and learn more about love and relationships. with mike and el, they met as kids and kissed when el didn't even know what a kiss was. even now as teenagers, they're still trying to figure out what love is and mike is struggling to tell el he loves her.

it also seems like there's always a pattern where they argue, lie to each other, get separated and then reunite and make up in a big dramatic scene, and this has happened several times which people are understandably sick of. it's kinda expected at this point since they're the main ship and focused on the most, so even whenever they fight, it's not that impactful or dramatic because people expect them to get back together again. i have no doubt that they love each other and there's many sweet things about them, but after watching season 3 and 4, i just didn't like how their relationship went. i personally find them boring and repetitive now, and i really didn't like how mike got so consumed with el that he ended up neglecting and excluding his friends. it just wasn't cute or romantic to me at all, and i couldn’t enjoy their lovey dovey scenes especially when will was in the background getting ignored. it was heartbreaking to watch and it felt so out of character for mike too. being a "teenager in love" isn't an excuse to forget about your friends and treat them like that. it was extra hurtful to see because mike was the complete opposite in season 1 and 2. in season 1 he was willing to jump off a cliff to protect dustin and he did everything he could to find will, and in season 2 when will was really struggling, he was so attentive and caring towards him. but the moment i saw him forget about his best friends and only focus on el, it annoyed me and i just couldn’t look at the ship the same anymore. that probably sounds dramatic but as someone who has been excluded like will, it hurts, and it’s annoying to see. and then there’s the fact that mike can’t say “i love you” even when el is crying and practically begging him to say it. he said it in front of a group of people in season 3 and then tried to talk about how he loves her during the grocery store scene. at the end of season 3, el said “i love you, too” so she clearly knows he loves her and so does the audience. some people were saying he shows his love with actions instead of words but in that scene he didn’t use actions either? he could’ve hugged her or held her hand but he didn’t. and we’ve seen him show he loves her with actions previously so why couldn’t he say it or at least show it in that scene at all? he just sat there and lied and tried to dodge her questions. it would also feel incredibly forced and boring if there’s a big dramatic scene where they make up and mike finally says “i love you” because the audience is already expecting it and it doesn’t feel powerful at all. i don’t know about anyone else but i don’t really enjoy watching mike and el, who are already struggling with their own personal issues outside of their relationship, constantly lie to each other and go back and forth constantly. they argue, get seperated, reunite, make up, act all lovey dovey and forget about everyone else, then repeat. it’s exhausting to watch and i actually think it would be exhausting for them too.

anyways, mike, will and el are all incredible characters that deserve to be happy, but i just wanted to share my opinions about why me and so many other people love byler and why i think it’s one of the strongest and most genuine relationships in the show. i’ve noticed that the ship is becoming a lot more popular now and the show is starting to actually explore it more which makes me so happy :')

(also if you screenshot any of this or want to post it outside of tumblr, just make sure my blog name is cropped out!! i know that's such a random request but i don't really want my blog shared outside of here since this is the only place i engage with fandom stuff LOL thank you!)

So... I've been thinking for a while if I should be doing this because I know some people will not agree with me and I don't want to start a fight or to upset someone so... If ur reading this, I'm going to talk about why I think Mike being gay is better for the bisexual community than being bisexual. If your not comfortable with this, U can skip it. ITS FINE!

I know it sounds weird, but, if we think about it, the problems against bisexual people nowadays (without mentioning the homophobia bcs ofc it is) are practically led to being """"in the middle of it all""""":

— Ur not Straight but ur not gay, so, when for example a bisexual girl starts dating with a guy, people usually tend to erase bisexuality and think she is straight and vice versa, but, does it sounds familiar to you?

Mike has dated a girl, and therefore a lot of people think he can't be gay. They are ignoring the fact that dating someone doesn't define ur sexuality, neither for your hole life, and if Mike was cannonly gay, he would not only be representing gay people with interiorized homophobia who dates a person to avoid the truth, but the fact that dating someone doesn't (again) define ur sexuality, which is something bisexual people do struggle with.

— Another important argument is heteronormativity.

This is a bit of a story but, I have two bisexual friends (we're three LMAO), one is a girl, and the other one is a guy. One day my girl friend heard someone thought my friend and her were dating because they skipped together a random class. Still she and I have done it before and no one really thought that, that's how heteronormativity affects bisexual people too.

Showing how Mike struggled with the expectations of being straight is really healthy for bisexual and, presenting a character that explored his sexuality ON a heteronormative society is actually healing me, because, in my case, even if I'm bisexual and I know it, heteronormativity shows up doing things to me like not getting used to say I could have a bf or gf or x and stuff like that. Due to homophobia and bifobia I get surprised when someone ask me if I like someone, mentioning the all genders (I love how my mom unexpectedly get used to it).

Those are a few problems I've struggled with for being bisexual in a heteronormative society.

And I actually could do a hole post about why I think seeing Mike as bi or straight is actually due to the heteronorm but, I think it would be better if you read analysis on Tumblr, because I wouldn't say anything that hasn't been pointed out yet.

Still I wanted to tell you the most important ones for me.

The only explanation for Mike hating so much Max in S2 and 3 are just that he's gay, I'm not going to elaborate, again, people has pointed this out. In S1 every party member doesn't like Eleven and aren't interested in her at all, meanwhile, in S2 everyone seems (to Mike)to be interested in Max but him. (Still so funny). In S3 he even says Max is conspiring against him, like?? For what?? For letting her know she can dress however she wants to and not only be with u??

The more Eleven finds herself and defines as a person and explore her feminine gender, the more Mike looses interest in her.

He hasn't been attracted to any other girl than El.

He hasn't reacted to any kind of girl or girl related stuff (like the sauna vs the lingerie scenes or the Daphne game)

Any of those were mine.

I wanted to tell you this because If we want to end this real bisexual's problem (heteronormativity) we shouldn't US be doing the exact same thing people do to homosexuals. So, in my opinion, it is kind of homophobic to see Mike as a bisexual boy, because, it is due to heteronorm statements (still I'm NOT BLAMING anyone because we need to understand that we are ALL homophobic, mysoginist, racist, capacists... It's all been learned and I don't want you to feel like you are doing sth wrong or it is your fault🥺).

With that being said that's my two arguments. Heteronormativity and how it affects LGBT+ community, and defining someone's sexuality based in who are they dating are common problems that Mike's gay ass fights :).

Again this is MY opinion, don't take it seriously because Mike is not canonly anything yet. The hints nowadays points to him being gay, but that does not mean that's what the he is because it is all a headcanon. I still insist I don't want people to get uncomfortable or feeling bad for wishing a character to be bi to have that representation because the important thing is that we all are a community that wants to have fun and watch our little Will be angsty but happy at the same time (yass)

11/06/2022

(the date is bcs u'll never know when will you change ur opinion, specially in this topics where everyday I keep learning).

Just saw your post about b/ler and their stans hating on everyone and I have to agree.

Like, I don't mind discussing little theories, but the way they go about things it's super annoying. Like the whole blue meets yellow in the west shit like that was a thing for scoops. idk why you make it about b/ler. Or saying Mike dressed up in yellow at the airport for Will when El's favorite color is also yellow. When they complain about other characters having screentime, I have to laugh because they manage to make anything about that ship anyway, so it shouldn't matter so much in the end. They act like this ship is the foundation of the show when Will is barely a real character because he doesn't even have a personality other than the gay kid who disappeared. And the fandom hardly develops his character because his relationship with Mike is the only thing they talk about. (And before ppl complain, other characters are underdeveloped as well, but I don't put them on a pedestal and call them the main character of the show like they do with Will)

Their treatment of El in all of this is the most upsetting part. Similar to Steve, she isn't allowed to be hurt or upset if others do something (aka r/nance, b/ler). Like they should all be super supportive allys, and if they are upset, they are deemed as homophobic or terrible friends.

I think the saddest part what i've read about b/ler was people insisting that Mike never loved El and had always feelings for Will, which is so cruel? In general, making m/leven important to Mike is not a thing in the b/ler fandom because they don't want Mike to be bi, which idk what the problem is with that. I just think they are scared that Mike is still interested in girls is threatening their ship or whatever.

Anyway, what I also hate when discussing b/ler is that they simply make El a lesbian in order so she doesn't feel bad instead of letting her deal with complicated feelings. Like in s4, Mike's inability to say he loves her clearly upsets El, meaning she does have feelings for Mike that are beyond a friendship level. It's also weird that they take away El's agency and reduce her to this abused child who doesn't know about anything so she shouldn't be in a relationship because she can't know what love is. (Ignoring s2 and her learning throughout the tv about the world and feelings and making her own decision regarding that part.) If we go that route non of the kids should know about love bc they are all traumatised and fucking 14 lol. And then they break up lumax so Max and El are together and everyone is happy? (Forgetting about Lucas) Also, idk crossdating within a friend group is so messy, but people just take the complicated parts out.

Also, what I found not discussed enough is the Will and El relationship. Like yes, Will likes Mike, but El is his sister. He also loves her. And tbh I think he would have reservations about dating his sisters ex-boyfriend because he cares about her. Maybe El gives them their blessing, but Will would know that she's hurting, so he might not follow through because he values the sibling bond with El more.

In general, I hate when there are ships that have to be so clean and liked by every character that is around. They don't exist in a vaccum, other people esp those who have close relationships with the people in those ships (ex-partners, best friends, siblings etc) might have negative reactions to it which is fine. That doesn’t mean they are homophobic it means they feel betrayed by a friend or sibling who dates their ex they loved for a very long time.

I like the theory of b/ler, but people take out the complexities that come with the ship. And then when you point them out, you're the worst person on earth, and your fave deserves to die. (esp Steve)

(Sorry, this is long. You don't have to answer. I just needed to vent a bit)

oh my gosh, no worries at all about this being on the longer side of asks! i don't mind at all and actually really like talking about this stuff and you brought up so many good points! since this is longer, though, i'm gonna put my thoughts under the cut <3

firstly, the theories CAN be fun. emphasis on can because they aren't anymore. b/lers make it clear that you pretty much have to agree with every single point they make, treating every single detail as canon rather than a theory, and it's exhausting. some of the ones i read a while back were genuinely interesting and fun! but when you take away the actual idea of it being a theory and just insist upon it being the truth, then going as far to call other people who don't agree/who are skeptical stupid or homophobic or some other name they come up with, then it makes people not want to interact with you.

i'm gonna be really honest here and say that i think all this stuff about blue and yellow is really ridiculous. i mean, they're quite literally colors. not saying there's no literary meaning to colors, but implying that every time we see blue and yellow in the show is some secret b/ler symbolism is just... so bizarre. (again, this could have been a fun little thing, but they take everything SO seriously and are such negative people that any amount of enjoyment is immediately stripped away just because you can't even have a civil disagreement with them without getting accused of being homophobic or without getting loads of anon hate.)

you said "When they complain about other characters having screentime, I have to laugh because they manage to make anything about that ship anyway, so it shouldn't matter so much in the end." and THANK YOU for wording that so well. this is what i've been trying to say for a while now, but i couldn't word it correctly. b/lers go out and make every single hint of foreshadowing, every single character and their personalities or arcs all about mike and will (because they for some reason are convinced this show is just a massive great love story for the two of them, and to that i have to say that this show has an ensemble cast. the other characters will and SHOULD have their own personalities, arcs, etc, that do NOT tie into b/ler) so why should it be a problem that a character is gaining popularity? if everything really is about b/ler like they claim then it should be no big deal to assume that this completely unrelated character exists entirely for the sake of your ship, right? it's honestly ridiculous.

also, yeah, will is barely even a character. he barely has any screentime that's spent creating his character, despite the fact that i think he's an essential point to the show. he's more of a plotline than a person, and i think blaming anyone other than the duffers for that makes no sense. fictional characters don't write themselves??

as for treatment of el, i made a post forever ago the parallels between steve and el as characters, and i think that goes for here too. they're both essential characters at this point, they're heroes, but even still b/lers treat both of them terribly. with el, it's pushing her to the side, dehumanizing her in a very ableist way, etc, and with steve, its much the same. dehumanizing, pushing him to the side, not allowing either of these characters to have feelings about their best friends/close friends dating their exes, and its just not realistic and its also weird. to enjoy a ship is one thing, but to push it onto everyone else and actively hate on other people who don't like it (which, by the way, you literally do not have to have "valid reason" to dislike a ship. you can just not like/hate it and that should be fine!!!) is immature and exhausting.

interestingly enough, i think b/lers mainly view el and steve the same way - an "overrrated" character, probably some part of why they hate the "general audience"/"fanservice", and, interestingly, i think there's also this idea that they're both basic in some way. like, steve is the "basic" straight white guy (idk why there's anything wrong with that??) and el is either a misinformed, confused lesbian or a pathetic straight girl too and its... so exhausting as well because characters can be queer without having to be mike and will!!! (and in the view of el they can also be queer without breaking up other important ships just for the sake of b/ler??) the amount of times i see people say that people are homophobic for having steve or el as their favorites is just... why? like, going on some kind of homophobia-yelling witch hunt isn't going to make anyone like you or your ship that you're so heavily promoting.

and with mike, i've seen some people (the more tolerable ones, i think) say he's bi while others insist he has no attraction to girls whatsoever, and i don't know, i think people read into it too much just to go and discredit el's relationship with him. if they can go and say, "oh, their relationship wasn't important to mike OR el so now we win!!" then they can convince themselves that b/ler is endgame, everything is happy for them, there are no problems, etc, which, again, is unrealistic. breakups are messy even if both parties were not to feel romantically about the other, and especially when you're gonna go and date someone in your group again. like, i've personally seen situations like that entirely destroy friend groups, time and time again, but let's ignore that for the sake of b/ler!

(also side point that goes along with what you're saying - they're literally 14!! i think so many people forget that since the actors look older or whatever, but like... they're children.)

the will and el relationship is always ignored and never talked about because it doesn't fit in the b/ler agenda (unless they assume that el is a lesbian and therefore doesn't care about will going on to date mike). which honestly is a shame because i love their dynamic but i also would rather not hear thoughts about that from b/lers anyway, but regardless it's a major plothole in their plans that they all just totally ignore because the only solutions to it are severely out of character.

i honestly don't think there's anything wrong with shipping m/leven or b/ler, if you're not insane about it. the b/lers heavily despise people who ship mike and eleven and go on to call them homophobic (are we sensing a trend here?) or whatever else, and i honestly haven't seen enough m/leven shippers here to know what they're doing so i won't put words into their mouth or whatever. either way, there's this general distaste and shunning that happens of anyone who doesn't like b/ler or ships something else and i'm personally so tired of it. i don't ship either of these because i just don't care that much (and also these people ruined it for me) but shipping m/leven does not make you inherently homophobic, and shipping b/ler does not automatically make you annoying in the way that most of them are.

now that i've kinda covered your thoughts, i want to add a few more points of my own that i think of every time this situation arises.

one, i think a large chunk of the toxicity of the b/ler community comes down to the fact that they worship the ground the duffers walk on. and this is a general thing that a lot of people and some of the media do, where they dramatize how good the show is and hype it up to be some untouchable, perfect series, which is far from the truth. they're convinced the duffers are on their side (b/ler endgame) and thus can do no wrong. (also a very weird way to act when they go and hate every other character CREATED by the duffers - but oh no! they didn't do it because they wanted to or because they like other characters too, it's all because of the general audience and how they just fuck everything up!!).

which, this is just setting them all up for failure. no one is getting this perfect dream of an ending, and i think if anyone knows this, it's the steve fans. we are painfully aware of the fact that our fave will either die or will have some shitty ending that none of us want, and b/lers are on the other side of the spectrum where they think everything will end perfectly for them, and you're just setting yourself up for colossal disappointment. every little hidden clue or theory that you've come up with is not going to be true, every bit of "foreshadowing" isn't going to pan out, and that's just a fact. the duffers simply are not as good as these people want to think lol.

secondly, i think the treatment of el and steve is also very similar in the viewing of their love triangles. there's st/ncy vs j/ncy and m/leven vs b/ler, and in both of these situations, everything is always one person's fault when people don't get their way - el and steve. if j/ncy happens and steve's fine with it, then people have to talk about how shitty of a boyfriend he supposedly was. if j/ncy happens and steve's upset, then it's on him for, again, being shitty and "deserving" to be alone. if st/ncy happens then it's steve's fault for having feelings or being a popular character or some other bullshit that makes no sense. and in the case of el, will and mike, it's the same. b/ler happens and el's upset, it's her fault for caring about her boyfriend. b/ler happens and el isn't upset, it's her fault for NOT caring. m/leven happens, then el is primarily the problem because SHE loves mike and cares about mike and "only gets all these things because she is a popular character."

overall, it's just pointing fingers, making excuses, and acting like babies 24/7 until they cry enough to get their way, honestly.

Epilogue ask time!! Okay, so I have been thinking about this non-stop ever since I read that line near the end, i dunno which chapter it was but it must've been before the Henry boss battle--Mike basically says something along the lines of "save that for the wedding" to Simon, and now I H A V E to ask. What would Simon and Mike's wedding REALLY be like? Would they invite everyone? What would their wedding cake look like? (gosh, I am SO pumped up for this couple, they are so goshdarn cute--)

.(I honestly can’t recall why I haven’t answered this ask when it was time :c I’m sorry Yeah, epilogue ask time! Even if you might never will see this answer, hah. Sorry for having been gone so long! But better late than never and all that. ALSO: TUMBLR DOESN'T PERMIT LONG ANSWERS ANYMORE? I'LL TRY TO EDIT IN THE WHOLE THING AFTER POSTING, BUT IF YOU CAN'T FIND IT, YOU’LL KNOW IT’S ON MY AO3)

It was a normal day in the renamed Afton household. Which means that the household was currently a dilapidated Freddy’s. Unlike most dilapidated Freddy’s, this just felt mildly depressing and empty. Any soul that would have haunted the immediate area was gone by now, as Dave and Old Sport were busy to pick the last few springlocks out of Dave’s skin. “How many children are we at now? This has at least been thirty! How did you even MANAGE to capture so many kids without anyone EVER noticing?” “Hey, Old Sport, it ain’t my fault that 460,000 children go missin’ every year! I’ve only ever gotten like- yeah, 30 a year, at best! With all the police swarmin’ and all that. That ain’t nothin’ compared to children goin’ missin’ every year!” “… we’ve only made it through ONE year’s worth of your murder?!” “Eh, we’re makin’ pretty good progress if you ask me-“ The door to the room was very abruptly slammed open. Circus Baby stood in there and after an appropriately dramatic pause, she came inside and slammed a few pictures onto the table. “IMPORTANT NEWS, DADS! MIKE AND SIMON ARE CURRENTLY ON THE MOVE. INTEL SAYS THIS IS THE LOCATION!” “You don’t need to scream, we hear you just fine!” Old Sport leaned back, relaxed. “Ooooh, pretty!” Dave picked up the images. “Yes… too pretty.” Baby scoffed. “Don’t you notice something about these pictures?” “Ya really got talkin’ like a crazy detective down. That Ethan guy really impressed you, didn’t he?” “No- no! Not at all!” She huffed and turned a bit. “But just- look! There’s a church there! And travelling all the way there… isn’t it clear what is going on?!” “Enlighten us, my body is ready.” Interested the Orange Guy leaned forward. “They. Are. Trying to…” A pause. Then abruptly she ripped one of her arms up, pointing a finger into nowhere. “MARRY!” “WHAT!?” “YES! AND THEY HAVEN’T INVITED US. AND FROM COMMUNICATION WITH BASE-“ “Oh, did you say hi to Jeremy for us?” “Yeah, I did- BUT NO THE POINT. COMMUNICATION WITH BASE REVEALED: THEY HAVE ALSO NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OPERATION. MIKE AND SIMON HAVE GONE ROGUE AND PLAN TO GET MARRIED PATHETICALLY AND ALONE WITHOUT ANY OF THEIR FRIENDS. CAN WE STAND FOR THAT!?” Immediately, the both of them stood up. “NO SIR!” “THAT IS WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR: OPERATION ‘BIG WEDDING, IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT’ COMMENCES N O W!” The fact that maybe, POTENTIALLY these two were just going on a nice trip was carefully considered by Old Sport and then passionately discarded. As was the potential that they weren’t invited on purpose. Or that there were still children’s souls to save. They waited decades- surely, they could wait some more, eh? - - - Mike was the first to wake up. He was groggy and confused, but his hand immediately reached for his partner. “Ssss- simon…?” A cough beside him snapped him fully out of it. Simon was stirring besides him, groaning. Quickly Mike leaned over him, gently slapping his face. “Simon?! Please- wake the fuck up.” “… Mike…?” It came back, as groggy. Then, a soft, raspy laugh. “… you look… beautiful… am I dreaming…?” “Christ, Si. What’s with the sentimentalities? Wake up.” Shifting on the spot, the heavy fabric around his legs confused him for a moment- “WHAT THE FUCK.” Jumping back, he stared down at himself, inspecting baffled the completely white and glittering wedding dress he was wearing. Now that he thought of it- Simon was wearing an elegant dark suit with a light blue tint. “What the FUCK!?” “Aaah… were we kidnapped?” Simon got slowly up, looking around, not caring too much about his appearance. “… you’d think now that we’re away from Freddy’s, that would be over…” Flustered, Mike stood up straight and gritted his teeth. “… whoever the fuck did it, I’ll break their necks. You don’t fuck with a Freddy’s veteran, not if you want to live.” Simon just snorted in response, but allowed Mike to gentle help him up- laughing a little again, as Mike carefully checked him over. “Really- I’m fine. Don’t worry. Just a bit dizzy.” “Good. Their deaths will be quick instead of slow then.” They spotted a door. Their exit? Carefully they approached- and before Mike could try the handle, a hand wrapped itself around his. Looking back, Simon had furrowed his brow and nodded determinedly at him. We have been through worse. Together we will get out. They pushed open the door… … light flooded in. Immediate cheers from all sides and elegant organ music was playing. Glitter and white petals were falling from over them, as they tried to desperately to regain orientation. They were in a giant church, and the benches were filled with animatronics, fellow Phone Guys who looked rather confused, and at the very front was Jeremy, in a priestly outfit, smiling and waving at them. “CONGRATULATION!!!!” Marion was by his side like a shadow, looking skeptical- but also raising a hand in greeting. Old Sport was nowhere to be seen, however it turned out terrifyingly enough that it was Dave of all people on the organ, playing his heart out in the fanciest clothes he seemed to find. Actually, all these fancy suits seemed to have a similar style… “… did you rob a fucking wedding dress venue?!” Baby by the front gave an enthusiastic thumbs up. “ABSOLUTELY! ONLY THE BEST FOR YOU! Well- I wanted to give BOTH of you dresses, but Jeremy said that wasn’t traditional and that we didn’t know what you would want- so eh. I’m sorry, I gave my best to make BOTH of you beautiful.” Funtime Freddy didn’t even need to raise his voice to be audible over the cheers. “YYY---YYEAH! S-S-soo we G-GAVE it to the one who- one who- NEEDED IT THE MOST! HA-AHAHAha-A-A-A-AHAHAH!” Simon stood up straighter. “DO NOT TALK THIS WAY ABOUT MY MIKE! OR I’LL- I’LL UH- KICK YOU OUT OF MY WEDDING, RIGHT NOW!” “No—NOOOOO!” Funtime Freddy looked horrified. “I- I- AM SOooOO- S-SORRY! P-Pleas-eee-e! Don’t- don’t- kick m-e-e-e OUT!“ “Then watch yourself.” Simon dragged Mike a bit closer. “… are we actually fucking doing this?” Quietly Mike whispered to him as they walked up the rows. “… we should play along for now… and if we see a chance, we’ll get out. Take revenge, or- uh- whatever.” “If you say so. I’m with you to the end.” They arrived in front of Jeremy, who made a gesture to quiet the room, with Dave taking the que to play a quieter, marriage appropriate song on his instrument. “Hey, uh- Jeremy.” Casually Simon started, clearly having a plan. “I appreciate this, but uh- you’re not a priest, right? Aren’t only priests allowed to do stuff like this? Baptism, marriage, all that? We can wait for you guys to find a proper priest…” Sadly, Jeremy’s lovely smile broke that hope immediately. “Oh, actually, protestants are allowed to baptize themselves if no priest is there. I think as long as two witnesses are there…? But yes. Same for marriage! No worries- I gladly do it! I also made the cake!” The promised couple turned their head around to spot a giant cake. Beautiful multiple layers of delicious goodness. “It’s with strawberries!” Happily Jeremy said. “I picked the motive.” Cooly Marion pointed out. “Jeremy almost made a golden Fredbear and Springbonnie cake.” “It would have been cute.” Jerry pouted, but Marion’s eyes didn’t leave Phone Guy. “… I thought a cool fire motive would connect with you guys better.” And indeed, the huge red and orange cake was a piece of art with glass-like sugar tips that looked out and broke the light like a frozen fire. The rest of it looked mouth-watering filling, vanilla and chocolate pieces on top, to completement the fruity mass. Mike nudged Simon’s side. How about doing it for the free cake? Simon shrugged, not opposed. Jeremy rose his arms. “We have gathered today, to witness the wonderful and loving union of these two people. You will know them as your friends, your employers, to some even our heroes-“ “Can we speed it up?” Mike scoffed. Dave from above laughed. “TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WOULDN’T WANT THE WHOLE SPIEL.” Looking a tiny bit offended, Jeremy shook his head. “Fine, fine. Okay, so, in the name of god, pledging your lives, in sickness and in health, good times and bad times, through everything that could live throw at you- will you, Simon McCall, take Mike Schmidt as your husband?” What was that for a question even? Simon paused, looking into Mike’s storm-grey eyes. Those with the hint of blue, those that had looked at him so often in his life. The first time he hired him, the first time he stormed into his office complaining about the animatronics moving, the ones that had called him out relentlessly… the ones that had looked at him with untypical worry after he had fallen sick, the ones looking at him with apprehension, that slowly turned to trust… from then to now, this man had gone through all with him. Through all the disappointments, the terrors, the victories, the problems. “Yes, I do.” The words came out of him unintentionally seriously. But he meant them with his whole heart. “Good! Mike, through sickness and health, through the good and the bad-“ “Yes, I do.” Mike answered with an intensity untypical of him. A seriousness that could hardly be rivaled, only matched by Simon’s before him. They had been through sickness and health before, through pain and joy, through everything life could do to them. And for Simon? He would do it all again. Without hesitation. Jeremy sniffled a little, clearly moved. “Then- I shall declare you husband and husband. Put the rings onto each other’s fingers and kiss, a union for all to see.” A door to the side had opened among the cheers and cries of the audience and the glammed up Old Sport came out, holding a box. The noises of celebration became louder when he stepped beside Jeremy, between the couple and opened the box. Mike and Simon stayed quiet however. “… those are fucking grenades.” Cheerful Old Sport pointed at the golden rings with each two red and a blue stone at the top of the grenades. “No worries, the rings are at this part here. All you gotta do is pull them off!” “They will blow up if we do that.” “Love will protect you <3” “… how did you make that noise with your- you know what, never-fucking-mind.” The church had gone quiet again at this point, everyone watching breathlessly. Slowly Mike looked deep into Simon’s dial. They nodded slowly, at the same time. Their heartbeats were in totally synchroneity. It was time. Both of them picked up their respective grenade slowly. The entire church held their breath- Within one immediate movement they pulled their respective rings over and in the same movement, Phone Guy dropped it in Old Sport’s hands while Mike chucked it with ALL power to the place were Dave was sitting, who in response JUMPED, but not AWAY, no! TOWARDS it, reaching out to catch the bomb, while Marion had already grabbed Jeremy, pulling him upwards, out of the blast radius, while Mike and Simon at the same time rushed towards the door, past the confused attendants, who made gasps of confusion- Rolling over the ground, Dave held up his one, smiling like a maniac. “OLD SPORT! OLD SPORT LOOK! I CAUGHT IT! THAT MEANS WE GET MARRIED NEXT! OLD SPORT-“ B O O M ! Thankfully, the grenades had simply been smoke ones that were fitted to look and to some degree sound like real ones. However, the smoke was extensive and cough-inducing and when it cleared, Mike and Simon were gone. “These BASTARDS!” Old Sport called out, rubbing his soot-smeared face. “Ah, the eagerness of freshly married couples.” Dave put a hand on his chest. “Gotta say, I’m jealous.” “Not THAT!” Disgruntled Old Sport pointed at the table that had stood by the exit. “THEY TOOK OUR ENTIRE CAKE!” “What!?” Appalled Dave cried out. “Unbelievable! These fuckin’ sewer rats. Next time we ain’t gonna invite them to their weddin’, bet they’ll feel stupid then!” - - - Somewhere, far away, a camper stood, with two people sitting on top of it. Each of them held a place with a big piece of deliciously expensive and sweetly flavored cake. “You win some, you lose some.” Mike took a bit bite. “But I think we won more.” “Where do you think they got these rings from?” Carefully Simon inspected the admittedly beautiful ring on his finger. “You think they, uh- stole it?” “Probably.” A shrug. “But I mean- well. Do we want to be married to each other with stolen rings…?” For a moment they looked at each other. Then they both shrugged. “Yeah, fucking whatever.” “Totally fine by me.”

3 6 8 9 16 22

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I'll be honest, I don't involve myself in the drama of the fandom so if it's a take I wouldn't agree with, odds are that I didn't see it as I don't actively seek out things that don't interest me. I will say this, and I'll say it carefully: If you want to look at Billy as a tragic character because of his traumatic life, that's fine, but that doesn't excuse everything he did. He's an inherently complex character and it's possible to hate that someone is racist and also hate that that person was abused. I don't know if that really answered the question or not, but it's a take of my own.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

Honestly all of us 😂 We all annoy each other for different reasons. I will say that nothing has made me more angry than the Steve/Eddie vs the Chrissy/ Eddie thing. It's not even how the fans of either interact with each other, it's the fact that Joseph and Grace have been dragged into it. They're actors playing a role and shouldn't have to play mediators for fans. They definitely shouldn't receive hate or backlash either.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Specific to Steddie shippers: That Eddie is perfect or Steve is perfect. They're both loveable doofuses that absolutely don't know conflict resolution. It's definitely not all pet names and snuggles but massive arguments and silent treatments.

9. worst part of canon

God I could go on for so long that you would almost believe that I don't like the show.

I think ultimately it's that up until this season there hasn't really felt like high stakes or consequences. Steve and Robin were tortured and left with just bruises and a shock blanket. The injuries the characters have sustained would leave someone sidetracked and bedbound in the real world but they constantly shake it off. It's like the only consequences occur when necessary to the plot. Steve gets bitten by bats and strangled twice: Let's tie a shirt around his waist and have him get dizzy once. Eddie gets bitten by bats: Kill him for sad value.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Mike

No haha... Unless...

I'm really not into Kas!Eddie or vampire Eddie. I'm all for bringing him back and if that's the way that the Duffers want to do it: Great! It's a sound theory and it makes sense to the plot, it's just not something I am really into when I'm reading things like fanfiction.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

Here's a plot twist: I'm not going to talk about Steve or Eddie for this one.

Here's a comprehensive list of little things that I love that don't get enough conversation:

1. Ted Wheeler's little comments

2. Murray Mother Fucking Bauman

3. Joyce's (Winona's) eyebrows

4. The dedication to the fact that it's 10 pm and none of the parents know where their children are and don't ask

5. Erica and Dustin's friendship/ the passing of the DnD torch onto the next gen

6. The inclusion of Holly

7. Steve's plaid walls and car picture

8. Nancy "New Hair Every Season" Wheeler

9. Eddie having pretzels and weed in his lunch box

10. The sibling dynamics

11. Steve's butt in those jeans

12. Dustin's quirky style never changing and his mother who loves him so dearly.

Quite literally I could go all day but this would be the longest post.

I am a bit confused because I do like when you post your thoughts about M*A*S*H but you seem to post a lot about B.J. when you don't appear to actually like him that much

It's because he's the most popular character in the fandom so I'm exposed to content about him constantly and naturally form my own opinions in response. I also strongly dislike the popular fanon which just exacerbates it more.

I don't dislike BJ I just like him less than everyone else in the show because I don't think he's as interesting. His writing is a bit messy (this is confirmed by some of the writers) and I'm not in love with Mike Farrell's acting. It's fine, just outshone by the others.

                    MIKE WHEELER + divergences for S3 & S4 

It’s not surprisingly that I have a lot of issues with the way they seemed so adamant to kill Mike’s characterization in the show, so I have quite a few divergences about the last two seasons.

                    ⸻ season 03

          HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH JANE ; Lets start with the elephant in the room. She is extremely important to him and he would do anything for her just like he would do for his friends. But their “romantic” bond was born due to their shared trauma. And the need for Mike to cling to something that made things seems normal, alongside his idolization of Jane. And this is something that takes a while for him to realize. But all the times that was spent with Jane in Hopper’s cabin? It’s spent hanging out, awfully singing along songs, Mike coming out with new stories with Jane & even him helping her with her english. Just those two being the kids that they are.

          TRAUMA & DEALING WITH IT ; Mike just like the other teens went through a whole ordeal of trauma and it’s not something that one overcome that easily. He is the kind of person to feels very strongly, he is ruled by his emotions, and when those emotions are all over the place due to everything that has happened he does not know how to deal with them other than trying to push them all away, to hide them because he believe that he supposed to be strong and if he ignores them long enough he’ll be fine. But he slowly but surely shut down, becoming more and more emotionally detached from the people he cares the most, and oftentimes coming off as an asshole, because he is scared to see them getting hurt all over again. And this also lead to his outburst, when everything got too overwhelming that he is not able to keep it all inside anymore. It’s his trauma response. He suffer from nightmares & panic attacks. 

          HIS FOCUS ON BEING A GROWN UP ; Another can of worms to open. Mike is gay ( at least this is how I portray him ). He started realizing he was different between s2 & s3. It’s not something he accepted, internalized homophobia is a thing he is dealing with, which lead to his almost unhealthy fixation of ‘being a grown up’ and everything being about ‘girlfriends’, he has this belief that liking/being into boys is something that he can outgrow, that once he is an adult, those feelings will magically go away because they were just silly feelings belonging to his childhood. And that adds to his assholei-sh behavior towards Will, which he knows very well, it’s un-excusable ( and something he’ll apologize for in the future ). This is also why he is not able to express his own feelings like he is expected to.

          SMALL TITBITS ; After getting thrown against the pipeline by Billy, he does end up with a broken nose & a light concussion. The only people to know about his panic attacks are Karen and Nancy.

                   ⸻ season 04

          ACCEPTING HIMSELF ; Between the time we left him in s3 & when we see him in s4, he had a lot time to reflect on himself and slowly starting to overcome his internalized homophobia and accepting himself for who he is. it’s a slippery slope and there are going to be times that he stumble and fall back but he is quick to get back on his feet. He does need someone to take him under their wings but he can’t really be open about it at Hawkins, can he ? Anyways, not many knows this about him being, especially not in the beginning, but post return in Hawkins he’ll tell to the people closer to him ( the party, Karen & Nancy, and probably Eddie too ). While he’d still find it weird to be out, it also feels like he doesn’t need to hide anymore. 

          DEALING WITH CHANGES & FEELING LEFT BEHIND ; Mike doesn’t deal well with changes, and that add a whole lot of more stress to his already overwhelming state. He feels like he is losing his friends, with Will and Jane in Lenora, Lucas having basketball, Dustin spending more time with Steve. And he can’t stop it, he is watching everyone finding new interests and he feels like he is being left behind and that weight on his mind constantly. Reason why he cling really hard to the one thing that he had always loved ( and will always love ), playing D&D. 

          STILL DEALING WITH TRAUMA ; Or rather not dealing with it, because with the passing of times he keep bottling everything up more and more, and his emotional detachment is easily spotted ( the conversation about the letters he has with Jane is a prime example of such ). He knows he has a support system that would help him but at the same time he feels like his problems/trauma isn’t as bad as the others, so he keep quiet.  

          THE VAN BACKSEAT SCENE ; Alright so, unless plotted otherwise, my go to for this scene is Will indeed giving Mike the painting but not making it about Jane. It’s just a nice and cute moment between best friends & their attempt to rekindle the strong connection that they once had but was put to test by Mike’s own problems. And in most cases he does comes out to Will, since he is the person that had always been closer to, one of the few people he feels safe around. 

          HIS MONOLOGUE TO JANE & THEIR RELATIONSHIP ; Sometime during his landing in Lenora & Jane getting brought to the lab, they do have a conversation where Mike is completely honest with her about everything. After all they are truly better off as friends, and Jane allowed to experience things. That doesn’t take away from the fact that jane is still VERY important to him. And to follow this, the monologue he give to help Jane pull through and get Vecna’s ass, it’s very much platonic, focusing on the fact that he and the others love and care about her so much, that they believe in her because she had always be strong enough to overcome everything that she set her mind to. It’s a speech to remind Jane that she has a support system that has her back no matter what.

          SMALL TITBITS ; He picks up playing the guitar and it’s Eddie the one teaching him, one of the person he came to look up to, in a way he consider him like his big brother. He feels extremely guilty for missing Lucas’ game because he knew how important it was for him and he does apologize to him. 

                   + DIVERGENCES for S03 & S04

It’s not surprisingly that I have a lot of issues with the way they seemed so adamant to kill Mike’s characterization in the show, so I have quite a few divergences about the last two seasons.

                   ⸻ season 03

         HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH JANE ; Lets start with the elephant in the room. She is extremely important to him and he would do anything for her just like he would do for his friends. But their “romantic” bond was born due to their shared trauma. And the need for Mike to cling to something that made things seems normal, alongside his idolization of Jane. And this is something that takes a while for him to realize. But all the times that was spent with Jane in Hopper’s cabin? It’s spent hanging out, awfully singing along songs, Mike coming out with new stories with Jane & even him helping her with her english. Just those two being the kids that they are.

         TRAUMA & DEALING WITH IT ; Mike just like the other teens went through a whole ordeal of trauma and it’s not something that one overcome that easily. He is the kind of person to feels very strongly, he is ruled by his emotions, and when those emotions are all over the place due to everything that has happened he does not know how to deal with them other than trying to push them all away, to hide them because he believe that he supposed to be strong and if he ignores them long enough he’ll be fine. But he slowly but surely shut down, becoming more and more emotionally detached from the people he cares the most, and oftentimes coming off as an asshole, because he is scared to see them getting hurt all over again. And this also lead to his outburst, when everything got too overwhelming that he is not able to keep it all inside anymore. It’s his trauma response. He suffer from nightmares & panic attacks.

         HIS FOCUS ON BEING A GROWN UP ; Another can of worms to open. Mike is attracted to boys. He started realizing he was different between s2 & s3. It’s not something he accepted, internalized homophobia is a thing he is dealing with, which lead to his almost unhealthy fixation of ‘being a grown up’ and everything being about ‘girlfriends’, he has this belief that liking/being into boys is something that he can outgrow, that once he is an adult, those feelings will magically go away because they were just silly feelings belonging to his childhood. And that adds to his assholei-sh behavior towards Will, which he knows very well, it’s un-excusable ( and something he’ll apologize for in the future ). This is also why he is not able to express his own feelings like he is expected to.

         SMALL TIDBITS ; After getting thrown against the pipeline by Billy, he does end up with a broken nose & a light concussion. The only people to know about his panic attacks are Karen and Nancy.

                  ⸻ season 04

         ACCEPTING HIMSELF ; Between the time we left him in s3 & when we see him in s4, he had a lot time to reflect on himself and slowly starting to overcome his internalized homophobia and accepting himself for who he is. it’s a slippery slope and there are going to be times that he stumble and fall back but he is quick to get back on his feet. He does need someone to take him under their wings but he can’t really be open about it at Hawkins, can he ? Anyways, not many knows this about him being, especially not in the beginning, but post return in Hawkins he���ll tell to the people closer to him ( the party, Karen & Nancy, and probably Eddie too ). While he’d still find it weird to be out, it also feels like he doesn’t need to hide anymore.

         DEALING WITH CHANGES & FEELING LEFT BEHIND ; Mike doesn’t deal well with changes, and that add a whole lot of more stress to his already overwhelming state. He feels like he is losing his friends, with Will and Jane in Lenora, Lucas having basketball, Dustin spending more time with Steve. And he can’t stop it, he is watching everyone finding new interests and he feels like he is being left behind and that weight on his mind constantly. Reason why he cling really hard to the one thing that he had always loved ( and will always love ), playing D&D.

         STILL DEALING WITH TRAUMA ; Or rather not dealing with it, because with the passing of times he keep bottling everything up more and more, and his emotional detachment is easily spotted ( the conversation about the letters he has with Jane is a prime example of such ). He knows he has a support system that would help him but at the same time he feels like his problems/trauma isn’t as bad as the others, so he keep quiet.  

         THE VAN BACKSEAT SCENE ; Alright so, unless plotted otherwise, my go to for this scene is Will indeed giving Mike the painting but not making it about Jane. It’s just a nice and cute moment between best friends & their attempt to rekindle the strong connection that they once had but was put to test by Mike’s own problems. And in most cases he does comes out to Will, since he is the person that had always been closer to, one of the few people he feels safe around.

         HIS MONOLOGUE TO JANE & THEIR RELATIONSHIP ; Sometime during his landing in Lenora & Jane getting brought to the lab, they do have a conversation where Mike is completely honest with her about everything. After all they are truly better off as friends, and Jane allowed to experience things. That doesn’t take away from the fact that jane is still VERY important to him. And to follow this, the monologue he give to help Jane pull through and get Vecna’s ass, it’s very much platonic, focusing on the fact that he and the others love and care about her so much, that they believe in her because she had always be strong enough to overcome everything that she set her mind to. It’s a speech to remind Jane that she has a support system that has her back no matter what.

         SMALL TIDBITS ; He picks up playing the guitar and it’s Eddie the one teaching him, one of the person he came to look up to, in a way he consider him like his big brother. He feels extremely guilty for missing Lucas’ game because he knew how important it was for him and he does apologize to him.

NOAH KAHAN - "STICK SEASON"

Just to be clear, this post was *not* sponsored by the Vermont Tourism Board... [5.10]

Hannah Jocelyn: Noah Kahan snuck up on me -- I first wondered why Ruston Kelly was opening for this guy who I'd never heard of before. I heard a couple of his songs, they were fine! So I ignored him. Suddenly, last year, a friend (a songwriter herself) was complaining about him, asking "What does the 'season of the sticks' even MEAN?" And from then on, he was everywhere, the same way Ed Sheeran was genuinely grassroots a decade ago before he became the eldritch pop horror he is now. Sheeran and Mumford & Sons ultimately gave us the indie folk of Boygenius and co., as well as Taylor Swift's own forays into indie, all of which I either love or respect. I go to open mics and concerts often, and it's a lot of empowered non-men leading the charge; even the guys I see make more interesting music than "I'm so sad, I'm so fucked up."  And now the pendulum's swinging, so now we are back at WGWAGs, and they don't even have the slick production of the Mumfords. I am not afraid of Noah Kahan; this song just sounds like the banality of fuckboys. I am more afraid of everyone following in his footsteps. Bonus point for actually mentioning COVID, though. [5]

Jacob Satter: Back when they were riding the wave of stardom for the first time, I bought tickets to see Counting Crows and a pre-dreadlocked Adam Duritz was going through it. He spent most of the show baffling the audience by lying flat on his back at center stage, talk-singing his way through August and Everything After, genuinely unable to look success in the eye. I take this trip down memory lane to clarify that when I say that every generation gets the self-actualizing folk dorkery it deserves, I'm not exculpating X while side-eying any COVID-worn millennials who embrace Mr. More-Mumford-Than-Mumford here for their mental balm. [3]

Dave Moore: I can google "is Noah Kahan related to Marcus Mumford" (no) but I can't google "do I hate Mumford and Sons" because despite remembering making fun of and claiming I hated Mumford and Sons at the time, I never wrote anything about them. Now that nothing else really sounds like this, I don't mind it so much. [6]

Leah Isobel: At least Mumford & Sons had the showmanship to drop an f-bomb in the midst of their self-regarding self-flagellation. What does Noah have? The word al-co-hol, leaden and imprecise and sung like it's an unbelievable blasphemy? Grow some balls, dude. [3]

Alfred Soto: He's so earnest that he acknowledges a drinkin' problem and the existence of COVID-19 and must sing as if he wants Mike Posner to sell him a pill to take in Vermont. [3]

Thomas Inskeep: His voice just oozes earnestness, and no, that's not a good thing. But strummy guitar guys never entirely go out of style, do they? If his success makes a Lumineers comeback happen, I swear to God… [3]

Lauren Gilbert: Yes, I could write a snarky review that this is a song for girls who haven't yet left their Folklore era.  And that's true enough; it's a pretty standard folk pop, with too many words pressed into too few lines, the murmurings of someone who spends entirely too much time in their head.  But it's also a pretty good instance of the form.  It has more of a hook than Bridgers, and it's less likely to put me to sleep than Clairo.  And it does feel like the season of the sticks -- like driving my parents' car through the hills of Virginia, dark, leafless trees silhouetted against a grey, featureless sky, thinking only of the person not sitting in the passenger seat. [7]

Mark Sinker: What if “season of the sticks” but it’s good not bad? (It’s such a gorgeous phrase to attempt to use as a negative… ) Plus Noah’s breath control seems kind of terrible -- the snatch at air plus his kinda squeaky voice makes him seem way younger than he even is (which is already way young), and sorry teens but that really dilutes the resigned agony he’s going for here. [6]

Taylor Alatorre: "I've been called the Jewish Ed Sheeran," says Noah Kahan on stage, with apparent regularity. Cheap heat, sure, but it's also self-deprecation as brand-building, aimed at propping up a certain persona by playfully prodding at the weaker and more exposed parts of it -- and suddenly I'm not just describing the stage banter but also the music itself. Kahan spent much of the last year collecting enough guest artist remixes for an unplugged No.6 Collaborations Project, but one of the few Stick Season songs to remain untouched by this process was the title track, which says something about it. It says that this is the anthem, the legacy definer; this is his own private Vermont, and no one but him (and a sold-out arena crowd, inshallah) can ever do it justice. With some reservations, it's deserving of this pedestal. And no, those reservations have not the slightest to do with Mumford & Sons, who are overdue to be treated as a normal, middling rock band and not a portentous class enemy. When teenage Mumford fans were listening to "Hopeless Wanderer" back in 2012, I imagine many of them were playing in their heads the kind of diaristic scenarios that Kahan sings about here, replacing grandiose Biblical allusions with only slightly less grandiose relationship angst. That was always the correct reading, and one can't fault Kahan for opting to cut out the middleman between his and his audience's experiences. "COVID on the planes" is the line that most loudly announces this isn't your father's indie folk, and it's the kind of lyric whose currency will only grow with time, like the transistor radio in "Brown Eyed Girl" or the satellite radio in "Sequestered in Memphis." At the other end of the realist-romantic spectrum, there's "might not have but I did not lose," a waist-deep k?an that's perfectly befitting of a future dorm room staple. Also fitting the dorm room vibe, less fortunately, is the way the phrasing in the chorus is awkwardly chopped up so as to min-max its drunk singalong value, with the line about alcohol of course being the worst offender. It's a testament to Kahan's affability that I want to forgive his more sophomoric tics -- I mean, who wants to be the one to interrupt a drunk singalong? [7]

Nortey Dowuona: When did Noah Kahan develop talent, and why wasn't it with Joel Little? [9]

Joshua Lu: "Stick Season" starts off as a earnestly mopey torch song, with a steady stream of metaphors and rhymes about his post-breakup blues. The causes and effects of this despair are presented straightforwardly, earning an almost comical feeling: the mom forgetting about him entirely, the excessive drug and alcohol use, his victim complex. It's in the second verse, though, that the song takes an interesting turn into self-reflection: "So I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad / That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from Dad." That same chorus rings differently in this new light, creating an image of a once-fixed man who has returned to his broken default nature, and whose internal sadness was only buried, not cured, by being with the one he loved. There's something quietly devastating about how resigned he is to his fate -- how he knows that he can't heal his pain, only dampen it with the memory of a time when he couldn't feel it. [8]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: A [2] or an [8] depending on how much this alerts your anti-Mumford and Sons or anti-Lewis Capaldi radar, and whether or not you have a soft spot for self-deprecating white men telling jokes and making confessions at their own expense. We’ll skew higher since this has aged surprisingly well. [7]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: I’ve heard this around seven times and I’m not exactly sure what he’s singing about, but I like the texture of his words as they spill out of his mouth. Kahan will let a syllable last just a bit longer or shorter than I expect, all while singing fast enough that he feels like he’s uninterested in easy signifiers of the contemplative. The banjo feels like a cheap way to keep the song interesting; he doesn’t need it when every guitar strum is so propulsive. [5]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Loses me after that banjo riff comes in two thirds of the way through. Everything before that is charmingly middling, everything after makes me want to place the entirety of New England under cordon sanitaire. [2]

Will Rivitz: I also love Vermont, having grown up just outside of Boston, and have to admit Kahan's bitter and self-deprecating narcissism quite poignantly encapsulates the sense of drifting listlessly and peevishly through New England's dreary December, mired in one's own solitude and the inexorably self-centered trappings that accompany it. His lyrical acumen is, however, not quite sharp enough to justify exhuming the stomp clap hey brouhaha previously left to rot alongside the word "hipster" a decade ago. If he thinks it appropriate to hire a mandolinist, maybe you were right to break up with him. [4]

Rachel Saywitz: “Stick Season” is a haunting masterpiece, and a triumph for Noah Kahan -- with just a folkloric guitar, illuminating banjo, and a steady kick drum, he traces a love lost with a traveler’s bent and a timeless seasonal metaphor. Wait, this song takes place in Vermont? Wait, he’s American? I can feel the spell breaking, the cloudy haze over my eyes that always appears when I’m listening to mediocre folk-pop by European singers is dissipating. Okay, sorry. Back to normal now. Going to review this again. “Stick Season” is some Lumineers-ass sounding shit. Grow up, stop being a whiny lovesick boy, and pick up an English accent! [4]

Ian Mathers: I'm so pissed that 1. "stick season" is not a reference to hockey which part of my brain irrationally insisted it was; 2. this tweet no longer applies to me. I gave that up for something that's just deeply mediocre, not even entertainingly bad. That the Olivia Rodrigo cover is… fine indicates my problem is less with the song (not bad, kinda standard) and more with Kahan's excruciating indie folk dude presentation. [4]

Will Adams: Outside of a terribly dull EDM feature, I had not heard a single note of Noah Kahan's music until now, so every time I saw his name I would think, "Oh, he does that one song, like 'lady, running down to the riptide, da-da-da'" before correcting myself. Listening to "Stick Season," I wasn't far off: anodyne stomp-clap folk complete with banjo. Instead of a rousing singalong, however, we get a winter doldrum mope-fest where the more a clever line is repeated, the less clever it seems. [4]

Katherine St. Asaph: Big junior-year busker energy. I hope the quad found "once you called me forever, now you still can't call me back" as clever as he does. [4]

Isabel Cole: Mumford-lite, nasal whine, uninspired lyrics: sure. And I, who tend towards particular indifference in the face of men with their guitars, should of all people be somewhere between immune and repelled. But this one fucking got me, I don’t know. There’s something about the unrelenting quickness of the verses, the way it slips heedlessly along axes of register and mood and scope: from the mannered poetry of “all the miles combined” to the indignantly conversational “like halfway through the drive,” from self-pity to self-recrimination, from daddy issues to drinking the pain away. It plunges into melodrama -- “I’m terrified of weather” -- and pivots to a gag, funny enough and also true, about air travel in the era of COVID. He says he’s stuck, and I believe him not because of that line but precisely because the song refuses to alight on any particular complaint for long.

That’s what it’s like sometimes, when you’re in the long process of reconfiguring your life around an absence you never planned for. You scrabble for purchase amidst the concrete and specific, saying all the useless sayable things because the whole truth defies articulation. Your petty irritations and psychological fault lines alike draw you right back into the vortex. You do see him in the weather, which is a way of saying you see him everywhere, and also that you never realized your block had a particular smell in spring until one April morning you found yourself thinking of him and realized it had been a year. You dream a version of him and wake up unnerved and you don’t know if what disturbed you was what the dream got wrong or what the dream got right. You can’t believe you can't talk to him when your uncle dies and when #FreeBritney goes mainstream and every time Marvel puts out a new terrible movie, and in the peculiar gravity of loss these things feel somehow equally consequential.

You wash the dishes and listen to a song that rattles off all these different ways to miss someone and you wonder how long he’ll be the person this type of song makes you think of, and you think about how much he would hate it, how mean he would be about Noah Kahan’s hair, how you have to look up every time if it’s Noah or Noel but you’re still crying at the kitchen sink, how much of your taste was his taste first, how you lost two people, really, because he took with him the person you were when he was here. I am no longer funny, ‘cause I miss the way you laugh. Your head says this is a generous [5], that it’s neither special nor smart enough to quit while it’s ahead, that while the line about being half a heart is trite but serviceable, the clarification of “the other half was you” is unforgivable, truly, taking you out of the song every time. Your heart thinks that so many of the funniest things you’ve ever said were things you only said because he was listening. Noah, not Noel, drops the strumming to sing that line about Vermont one more time and in the emptiness around him you can almost hear the whistling northern wind, the sound of a world turned brittle and cold. Stupid. These fucking songs always do that. It’ll be four years come April. You put the dish in the rack and wipe your eyes with your wrist and before you pick up another dirty plate you hit play one more time. [8]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

Year-end personal goals and culture roundup for 2022:

I deliberately set no personal goals out of laziness and also to see what would happen. What happened was a mixed bag: 

Did not exercise basically all year

Was less politically engaged than in previous election years

Read fewer books than expected

Did maintain a 300+ day streak in Duolingo, with the help of many streak freezes

Worked a lot of extra hours

Saw a lot of theater

This year I think I will set some sort of health goal because the lack of exercise (and poor sleep habits) made themselves pretty apparent toward the end of the year.

Culture stuff

Theater:

Went back to my pre-pandemic habits and saw 23 unique shows (plus a few repeats). Individual posts are linked; for ones where I didn’t write a post it was probably because I didn’t have the time or energy.

Everybody’s Talking About Jamie

Slave Play

Assassins

The Lehman Trilogy

Hadestown

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Tootsie

Aida

King James

Pretty Woman

Come From Away

Lempicka

Moulin Rouge

Dear Evan Hansen

The Prom

+ More thoughts on The Prom

Oklahoma!

Jagged Little Pill

To Kill A Mockingbird

Omar

2:22: A Ghost Story

Invincible

Clyde's

Bat Out Of Hell

Music:

It is the first time in a while that my most-listened to song has not been from Eurovision or Melodifestivalen. I am finding that if I don’t make an effort to listen to music, I don’t listen to music, which is disappointing.  In any case, my most listened to track appears to have been Tove Styrke’s 2020 cover of “Bara du och jag” from Så mycket bättre season 11.  (My most-played Eurovision song was “Með hækkandi sól” by Systur, which ended up around #3 overall.)

Television:

Supergirl S1 (yes I am still trying to finish Season 2)

The Great American Barbecue Showdown (unexpectedly engaging)

The Great British Baking Show/GBBO S13 (liked the contestants, still puzzled by the taco technical)

The Midnight Club (not especially scary or horrifying, which is fine since I am not typically into horror; even so this has got me interested in Mike Flanagan’s other work)

Street Food: USA (apparently food holds my attention well)

Andor S1 (as good as everyone says)

Kalifat (compelling, also a bit depressing and cynical)

Movies:

Not much of a year for movie-watching since I spent so much time on live theater. Of the things I saw that were released this year, I think there was only Avatar 2 and Glass Onion. Might rewatch Glass Onion if there’s a commentary available.

Books:

Sprinting Through No Man’s Land: Endurance, Tragedy, and Rebirth in the 1919 Tour de France by Adin Dobkin: First book I managed to finish this year and it wasn’t until late August. Knew basically nothing about the Tour de France but this felt like part history and part travelogue, which kept me interested.

The Future is History: How Totalitarianism Reclaimed Russia by Masha Gessen: Listened to on audio, does provide some context for the current war in Ukraine, though history of Russia prior to 1980s or so remains a large gap in my knowledge

Less by Andrew Sean Greer: Essentially a bit of a slow-burn romantic comedy, fun airplane read

Brown Girl in the Ring by Nalo Hopkinson: dystopia + magic, good combo; very specific location (post-apocalyptic Toronto) is also good 

hi hi hi i really really really loved your jealous headcanon of levi and your teacher levi!!! i was wondering if i could maybe request something where you kinda mix the two(?) so like theres this event going on in school and the reader is very occupied and busy because shes paying attention to her students and then maybe she talks to some teachers about the event and then levi is just there secretly sulking cause he wants her attention too?? or idk you do you because your works are always soooooooo good thank you<3333

author note :: i did not stick to the prompt which was honestly an accident?/£/):7 but there is jealous levi and reader so i hope it workssss, it’s not that great and isn’t edited...but i hope you enjoy it :-( also thank you for the request you were very kind <3

for this to make more sense you’ll probably have to read my first ever teacher levi post which you can find here !!!!!

requests are always open :-)

word count :: 4.3k ???? longer than i expected ???? 

levi groans at the mention of sports day before turning to look at you dead in the eyes

he knows this is your doing, you’ve always been big on getting the children into sport and other extracurriculars

now see, he has no actual issue with sports day?? he’s pretty fit if he says so himself!!!

it’s just that he frankly does not have the effort to participate.

another part of him also feels frustrated seeing mike flock around you like an annoying bee

he’s asking all sorts of questions

“are we doing the three legged race again this year?”

“how about javelin?”

“HAHA...mike...”

levi takes one look at you and knows you’re trying to let him down softly, it is his favourite event after all.

“since last year’s fiasco and the way you nearly hit one of the sixth graders i think not.” you awkwardly chuckle patting his shoulder as if it’s any consolation

mike loves sports day, he’s competitive in all of the teacher only events and last year he even tripped you and levi up ON PURPOSE might you add

either way he still lost the teacher’s three legged race last year and ever since he’s been out to gain his title back.

levi remembers, he’s unsure if you do but he remembers vividly having to carry you on his back because you had sprained your ankle pretty badly after your collision with mike.

back then you and levi were still in the middle of your little math vs english debate meaning the whole walk to the infirmary was filled with bickering.

and when levi had placed you onto one of the beds you insisted you could treat yourself when you really couldn’t

the way that scenario ended had been with levi forcing you to place your foot onto his knee as he iced and tended to it

this year levi is not having any repeats of that. yes, he quite liked having some alone time with you, in fact it was one of the first times he stopped to wonder if he liked you.

BUT!!!! having you limp around the corridors wasn’t the best either and you were highly irritable until you were fully healed

“why don’t you actually try this year?” hange stifles a laugh, they’re stood to levi’s left and upon hearing their voice his shoulders sag. he knows he’s in for one hell of an earful

“i do try–”

“yeah whatever. anyway, you want a cupcake?” hange’s gesturing to the haphazardly iced buns in the four plastic containers in their hands

“these are for the bake sale!!” they add in enthusiastically.

levi’s about to shake his head, he’s already donated to the bake sale’s charity fund without paying for any of the baked goods. yes it is purely because he doesn’t trust hange to feed him anything edible

“they’re y/n’s batch :-)” hange’s wickedly grinning knowing they’ve hit their colleagues weakness

without another thought levi’s right hand dives into one of his pockets, fishing his wallet out. he places a few spare coins into hange’s palm

“wOAH, you’re pretty eager aren’t ya??”

their remark flies over levi’s head as he tries to pick out two of the most presentable cupcakes

“you’re so fond of y/n, why not try a little harder like i said?” hange’s thrown the bait in the river and levi completely falls for it. he turns ninety degrees completely forgetting about the cupcakes.

“i’m talking about sport’s day if it isn’t obvious.”

he faces hange directly. he scowls twisted in fake disgust and confusion all at once

“and why would i care about that?” he shoots back

“after walking in on the both of you touching each other up in the janitor’s closet i’m really surprised you’re — mMMPH—” levi’s shoved one of the cupcakes into hange’s mouth

“you’re gonna have to pay for that–”

levi smacks some more money into their palm to appease the issue

“when did you see that and have you told anyone else?” he’s seething right now, there’s no way he or you were unable to notice someone as loud as hange prance into the storage cupboard accidentally

“i haven’t told anyone but it has only been three days since i saw so who knowsss...”

“i’ll do anything for you to keep your mouth shut.” levi’s practically begging at this point

“i think you should buy a whole box of cupcakes as compensation. my eyes will never be the same again.”

levi hands over more than enough money, he’s probably handed over enough for two boxes just for extra measure

it’s not that he’s embarrassed of you or anything no, no, not at all. he just, this sounds so stupid but he isn’t sure what the two of you are????

you’ve kissed, A LOT but the only problem is that there’s never actually been confirmation of... something more? than that?

he’s simply horrible at asking, and seeing the way you’re talking to mike it’s almost getting to the stage of borderline flirting

he’s currently flexing one of his muscles and levi’s unsure if you’re actually gawking at them or feigning interest so mike can get bored and leave sooner

his bets are on you pretending for the sake of mike leaving until you reach out to squeeze his arm appreciatively

...

what is this feeling??

insecurity?? a low self esteem??? levi isn’t entirely sure what the emotion that surges through him at that moment is

but hange sure does, grinning at the scene playing out they shove moblit with their elbow

well, well, well levi getting jealous is certainly something new.

when levi knocks on the door of your classroom you assume he’s come to bother you and ask for the spreadsheet with grade averages and all that technical stuff

english and math grades need to be compared side by side and even though it’s your job to help with the data analysis you’re pretty bad at it so levi’s the one who USUALLY picks up the pieces and does it for the two of you

occasionally mike steps in and helps when levi’s got other stuff in the way

“oh levi!! mike told me he’d be doing this month’s spreadsheet?” you’ve poked your head out of the door to talk to him

levi’s eyes narrow at that because he hasn’t asked mike for help at all.

“i didn’t come here for the spreadsheet but i haven’t even told mike to assist me this month... i wonder why he’s so passionate.” he mumbles the last part under his breath

opening the door up you wave for him to come inside “what you here for then?” you ask, oOoh maybe he’s finished reading an inspector calls?? finally you can talk to someone about the twist at the end

“i’m taking part in sports day properly.” the statement is unexpected and ?? levi ?? take anything other than math seriously ??

“woah... i’m proud of you?? i’m glad you’re seeing it’s important to show the children physical activity is fun.” your smile brightens up the entire room and he begins to feel a little more confident

peering up at him your curiosity doesn’t go unnoticed and he clears his throat, he knows you’re expecting him to say something else

ok, ok, ok. he thinks he’s built enough courage up to ask you

“i’ve never got the chance to ask but would you like to go on a date?” on reflex levi screws his eyes shut, suddenly he’s convinced you’ll say no and reject him. why would you accept??

“sure!”

his eyes flutter open and he feels you grip at the sleeve of his shirt.

well? that went better than he expected?

“where do you want to go?” you ask

“doesn’t matter, but let’s go somewhere after sports day finishes up.”

“are you barely going to try like last year?” you’re munching away at a granola bar - it’s rather bland and makes your throat feel kinda scratchy

you’re midway through drinking some water to deal with the dryness but you nearly spit it out when levi responds

“no. i plan on winning every single teacher event.”

HE WANTS TO??? beat???? everyone???

“you’re planning on beating mike too?” you tilt your head to the side incredulously

levi purses his lips at the mention of his name

“why does that sound so absurd to you?”

“he’s um, very good at sport that’s all.”

“i am too.” levi’s adamant to prove his point to you

“fine, here’s a deal. win at least one teacher event and i’ll try and solve one of your funny math problems or whatever.”

“what kind of deal is that??”

“you’ll be able to see me struggle with numbers, for free!!”

“no. i have something better in mind.” levi bites his smile back, he can’t let you know the idea makes him feel

“and that would be?”

he takes a step forward decreasing the space between the two of you.

“how about you kiss me in front of everyone?”

your mouth falls open because oh wow....? you have no actual problem with the task you’re simply surprised that levi is willing to put the both of you out there like that. the spectacle is bound to raise some eyebrows

“deal?” he holds his hand out for you to shake

you nod your head. “it’s a pleasure doing business with you.”

and so your deal is sealed with a firm handshake.

the big day has ARRIVED!!!

all of the students are flooding in through the gates. some carry footballs, other basketballs. you’ve been here for less than ten minutes and had to save a ball from crashing right into an expensive window.

everyone’s wearing active gear, udo walks in with a ski mask on?? which is peculiar but it’s humorous so you don’t tell him off for it

you’ve chosen a comfortable olive green tracksuit, you don’t think you’re in the mood for ski masks like udo is

coincidentally levi happens to show up in the EXACT same type of tracksuit?? everything’s the same to the colour. you both stare at each other for a moment trying to figure out how exactly you managed that but give up, you guess you have similar tastes

the accidental coordinated outfits have a few of your students pointing and chuckling together

gabi and falco are laughing heartily and whispering god knows what about the two of you

“three legged race partner?” levi asks as he fills up some water bottles for the water stand

“oh? mike asked me to be his partner.”

levi doesn’t make it obvious that he’s jealous about it because what adult would be jealous over a three legged race??

but even if you can’t tell levi is pissed mike sure can

he’s walking past the two of you, hands shoved into his pockets when he spots you a few meters away. his eyes sparkle when he sees you. it’s at that moment he senses the dark piercing glare coming from your right.

you’ve yet to notice mike but levi’s seen him approaching from a mile away and he isn’t particularly happy about it.

the good thing about mike is that he knows not to mess with levi.

the two have known each other for years and by now mike knows messing with levi is a death wish in itself.

so when the poor physical ed teacher notices the way levi glowers at him he calls out your name to get your attention - he’s much too afraid to get anywhere near you

“Y/N!!”

whipping your head around you wave at your race partner, why does it look like he’s seen a ghost?? you shove that thought to the back of your mind, he’s probably just tired

“petra doesn’t have a partner and uhh... i think levi’s free. could you work with him instead?”

levi turns away to smile to himself. ah how the tables have turned!!!

“but i want to work with you? it’s always y/n and levi do this. y/n and levi do that!! i wanna try with someone else.”

what you’ve said is a lie. honestly you’d just like to see levi get worked up again

but levi doesn’t get the memo at all. it flies over his head and he huffs thinking if that’s what you want he doesn’t mind. he’ll just show you how he feels.

“it’s okay. i’ll go with petra.” levi nonchalantly salutes at both you and mike as he walks backwards before turning around to locate the ginger in question

WHY DID HE GIVE IN SO EASILY???? YOU WERE JOKING?????

with your mouth open wide mike looks at you once and puts the pieces together

“guessing you wanted him to stick around?” you suddenly hear and god, you feel kinda bad

“oh no!!! i would love to be your partner.” looping your arm with his you smile up at him

whether or not mike believes you isn’t clear but he does return your smile.

there’s a few minutes till the three legged race starts, everyone’s running around. erwin’s knelt down to tie yours and mike’s legs together

as he’s doing so you can’t help but hear a high pitched windshieldy giggle leave petra and you visibly seem annoyed. that’s if your arms crossed over your chest and clenched jaw are anything to go by

levi hasn’t even said anything notably funny ???? what is she laughing at ????

he’s quite literally just standing there making awkward small talk with her

it goes something like this

“have you marked your exams yet?”

levi doesn’t realise she’s said anything till she taps his shoulder and he asks for her to repeat her question

“oh.” he thinks for a while. “no not yet. i’ve got better shit to do. i don’t see them till next week either way.”

and then she just starts laughing so hard that she has to hold her knees and when that isn’t enough she holds onto a nearby pole for support

you see where this is going

when her breathing gets even more uneven she reaches out to grab levi’s upper arm

YUP. you knew it. you can’t be mad at her really. no one knows you and levi are sort of a thing.

a thing? is that the term? well, whatever late night calls discussing books and a few heated kisses in private mean that’s what you are

levi stares at the hold she has on his arm and you expect him to shrug her off. instead he sees you look, smirks a little and waves all the while letting her hand stay there

and the icing on the cake is petra waving at you too and her eyes are much more expressive than she thinks they are

she’s internally laughing at you for sure.

ok, not a big deal, NOT a big deal!!!

this is just him getting back at you for before.

flipping your head back your sad expression probably catches mike’s attention because he seems to cave in

“want to make him jealous back?”

his suggestion is interesting but you catch yourself second guessing

“he’s doing that because he’s jealous.” you mumble shaking your leg to test the strength of erwin’s knot

“and? don’t let him win.” he glances at his shoulder gesturing for you to make the next move

nodding your head vigorously you throw your arm over mike’s shoulder but find he’s too tall to make that work so instead you settle on holding him by the side

it takes you a little to adjust to the close proximity but in the time it takes you to do that mike informs you of levi glaring at the two of you

“mind if i hold onto you here? we can coordinate our moves faster!!!” petra doesn’t even wait for levi to agree to what she says. she just flings one of her arms around his torso

again, he lets her just as last time.

this game of cat and mouse is getting tiring, maybe you should have kept your mouth shut when mike approached you.

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

your senses snap back to where you are. your grip on mike’s torso firms and he turns to nod at you.

you nod back.

you’ll win this.

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!”

okay, SO.

something in your game plan must have gone wrong but mike’s strength is something you’ve clearly underestimated. his first step is so powerful you don’t even have the time to start moving

you assume that’s how you collapse to the ground behind him and scrape your hands onto the cement of the track

so much for winning. all you’re doing is bleeding and hissing trying to cope with the stinging sensation

“mike?!?? not again??” hange groans and jogs over to the two of you untying the ropes at your legs.

“do we have to ban you from another event??? you’re too reckless sometimes.” hange smacks his chest and then hurriedly whispers “levi’s coming this way if you value your life you better bolt and use the first aid kit as an excuse.”

mike doesn’t even debate with himself, that’s his best bet at staying alive and so he dashes away as if he’s left the shower on at home for five hours unattended

some students are murmuring under their breaths and luckily for you the forever reliable gabi and falco have come to your rescue with bandages

“show me your hands.” levi’s hard voice interrupts all discussion. petra’s stood peering over his shoulder and you swear you catch her muffling a laugh

levi frowns. “you good?” he asks. you assume this answer will be the deciding factor regarding whether or not he makes this an issue with mike

“i’m great – trust me!! just a few scrapes.”

levi doesn’t look convinced but he let’s it go.

he helps you get up and takes the bandages from gabi thanking her.

“i’ll patch y/n up.” he tells hange pointedly and they agree. moblit at that moment happens to run over with a megaphone in hand.

“SHOWS OVER FOLKS!! WE’LL MOVE ON TO THE JUMP ROPE EVENT FOR NOW!!!”

“i’ll make him lose the one hundred meter sprint so badly he won’t know what hit him.” levi’s been grumbling the entire time he’s sat down to bandage your hands.

now that you’re both sat close to each other again murmurs of “matching tracksuits??” are back

“you don’t have to it was a mistake levi.”

levi shrugs eyes scanning his handiwork. “i want to. i’ve got to earn my kiss in front of a crowd anyway.”

gently letting go of your hand he looks out onto the track waiting to be called.

you’ve never seen levi give his full effort into sports day but even then you’re unsure if he’ll ever be able to beat mike.

honestly mike sure is fast and you recall one of the children referring to him with the nickname lightening bolt

and speak of the devil. a group of children walk past and are talking about the teacher’s race

“mr bolt’s gonna win for sure. you seen him run?? he could be an olympian!!!!” zofia’s gushing about him, she happens to be a big fan

the only nickname you’ve ever heard for levi is ursula – “ursula sure is evil for giving us that much work >:(” you had heard udo say once during class but after the earful he got from gabi he never used the name again, neither did anyone else

a few more minutes pass in a comfortable silence and levi’s called over to his lane. you’ve accepted the fact that there’s no changing his mind and he’s bound to compete now

“wait for me by the finish line.” he instructs and so you do. you go your separate paths. he to his lane (he’s in the lane two) and you to the finish line

petra’s already standing there waiting. her elbows are propped onto the railing peering out towards the contestants.

making your way to stand with her you see her sigh dreamily at levi in the distance

“hey, i know you don’t like levi a whole lot. you know your fued and all but do you think he’d say yes if i asked him out?”

well.

that sure is unexpected.

you fight the urge to scoff because you know you and levi are starting to drop more hints. is this her way of finding out the truth?

“me and levi don’t hate each other actually.”

“oh, well dislike.”

“we don’t dislike each other.”

“tolerate?” she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth trying to control her frustration

“petra. i like levi.” your confession knocks the wind out of her. you both silently exchange looks. she’s very clearly in disbelief.

the next time she speaks the previous playful lilt in her voice is long gone

“as soon as you noticed i liked him you just had to decide you liked him too. people like you make my skin crawl.”

?????????

why is she so bitter?.)/&£:

you can’t help liking levi and he likes you too,, so what now??

“he likes me back petra. can we be civil about this? i don’t like workplace drama. i had no idea you were into him.” you’re hoping that this will happen to shut her up but NO!!! it doesn’t she’s only more mouthy now

“prove it.” she points one of her manicured fingers into your chest and demands evidence she doesn’t even deserve to see

“what???”

“if he likes you back so much he should be able to show it.”

you know, if it were any day, any other time or any other person asking you this you would have out right refused, but given the circumstances and levi already waiting on you to kiss him in front of the entirety of the school you see no issue with having the last laugh in this argument

“fair enough.” you mutter and lean over to see hange announce the countdown

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!!!”

you swear you blink because GOD what on EARTH????? you don’t understand why previous to this levi balked at the thought of participating because he’s made it look so easy.

he’s not bolted he may as well have TELEPORTED to the finish line. mike is breaking out in a sweat far behind him and the boyish grin on levi’s face is enough to tell how he feels

gasps and applause can be heard from the children. zofia and udo are passionately arguing about some bet they’ve made - you make a mental note to tell them that making deals is fun as long as they don’t bet large amounts of money

levi’s jogging up to you completely ignoring petra’s presence

“told you i’d do it. i avenged you didn’t i?” you don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile so confidently in public 

you acknowledge what he’s said with a cartoon like thumbs up and then you’re staring at him unable to locate your courage

oh fuck it

you lean in hurriedly and steal a peck from him. he blinks and then scowls much to petra’s amusement. she has to think he’s about to curse you out but unbeknownst to her she’s read the situation wrong

“is that your idea of a kiss??”

and then he takes matters into his own hands – no literally into his own hands. he cups your face in his palms and captures your lips with his own. as you reciprocate petra can be heard choking on her saliva.

“OH well who would’ve guessed the english and math department had an alliance????? not me???” next is hange, they’re feigning shock even though they’ve known what the two of you have been up to this entire time

the whispers have now become full on shouts

“i KNEW it they were dating?!?!”

“MAN??? I HAD A CRUSH ON MR ACKERMAN WHAT NOW???”

gabi and falco are audibly cheering, you’re quite sure they realised what was up long ago

“DON’T BE UPSET BUT I THINK THIS IS WAYYY BETTER THAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!!!!” falco’s comment makes your heart rise in your chest

and you know what? you think so too.

as levi’s hand travels to the back of your neck pressing you further into him you come to the conclusion that maybe just maybe this is far better than pride and prejudice ever will be :-)

Whumptober No. 5

betrayal / misunderstanding / broken nose

(Hockey AU)

***

He’d always thought the night Jay took the picture would be the worst of it.

Buck’s hands were clutching the rails of Jay’s iron headboard, where Jay had wanted them, where Jay had placed them after stripping Buck of his clothes, saying “Don’t let go.” His slow, sexy, predatory smile was the last thing Buck saw before the silky black blindfold was tied in place. Jay was gone after that, climbing off the bed, telling Buck how good he looked and what he thought he might do and Buck had arched into the words until he was begging to be touched.

“Be patient,” Jay had purred, appeasing Buck with a single finger drawn shiveringly down his thigh. Buck could feel that he’d climbed back onto the bed, but Jay was too far away and he wasn’t teasing; he just wasn’t there. Stretching out longer on the mattress, trying to find him, he’d said, “What’s going on up there?”

Then the flash went off, the bright light cutting through the thin fabric of the blindfold. Jay swore, “Shit. Fuck,” and when Buck let go of the bed with one hand (one hand because maybe he misunderstood, maybe it was fine, maybe he’d laugh and put his hand back and they’d-)to push the tie away, he’d seen Jay, crouched above him with his phone in his hand.

If he’d asked, Buck might even have agreed. He liked posing. He liked having his body appreciated. But Jay’s expression was the alarm of being caught red-handed and Buck knew, knew with a sinking feeling of dread and betrayal, that Jay wasn’t just taking a memento to savor later. He was taking a picture of Rangers center Evan Buckley, naked, smirking, and vulnerable, to use exactly the way those kinds of pictures get used.

Buck forced Jay to delete the photo, made him prove that he’d done it, and then had somehow managed to get himself dressed and down to the street to get a ride without throwing up. His face burned the whole drive home and for half of the night.

And that was the worst of it until five years later. In a new city. When Buck was finally playing the way he’d always known he could. When he was finally earning the respect of his team and the hockey world at large. When he started thinking he might stay. That was when the anonymously authored post was retweeted and reblogged and shared and gleefully discussed on all corners of the hockey internet.

MY WILD NIGHT WITH AN NHL ALL STAR

The Good, the Bad, and the Kinky

His agent’s was the first text he saw when he got done with practice: “Do NOT respond yet. Call me first.”

It had taken another couple messages before Buck realized what he wasn’t supposed to respond to and in the meantime, the texts kept rolling in. Half of them from numbers he didn’t even have saved in his contacts.

“Dude, is that shit true?”

“Are you okay?”

“Do you know who it is?”

“You dog 😜”

“You never told me you were into that 👀”

“Ignore it, Buck.”

“We’re all with you.”

“Fuck that guy.”

“Hey if you need something to take your mind off of it💋💋💋”

“Evan, Mike from the Tribune. If you want to set the record straight, please give me a call.”

From the looks on the faces of his teammates as they tried to pretend they weren’t stealing glances at him, they were getting messages of their own. Hen was the first one to start to approach him with a look of concern, but Buck avoided her, grabbing his bag and sneaking out the door without bothering to hit the stationary bike like usual.

“What the hell did you do to piss this guy off?” Geoff said as soon as he answered Buck’s call. “More importantly, what else does he have on you?”

“Nothing!” Buck answered, nearly merging directly into another car as his hands shook on the steering wheel. “What do I do? How do I fix this?”

“I don’t know, Buckley. None of my other clients get up to shit like this. You need to get yourself a publicist. I’m going to get in touch with Grant and make sure they’re not already shopping you.”

His agent hung up and Buck’s phone continued to buzz and chime all the way back to his apartment.

There were cameras outside which there almost never were. Mostly only hockey fans cared about pictures of hockey players and the press was limited to the arena and their official events. Maybe one or two regular guys who Buck knew by name. It was just his luck that he lived in LA where there were almost more cameras than there were disasters to photograph.

“Buck! Do you know who the author is?”

“Have your teammates seen the post?”

“Are you worried about other former partners coming out with similar stories?”

Buck pushed past them, but the questions followed him inside. His phone didn’t stop. His mentions were a nightmare on every platform. He shut Twitter as soon as he opened it and saw his name in the trending topics. The statements put out by the Kings and Buck’s agent condemning the piece and the interest in it were drowned out by outlet after outlet picking up the post and sharing it out wider and wider.

Can you guess this NHL player by his sexcapades? (Hint: It’s exactly who you think)

Hockey players used to be the humble, hard working gentleman of sports. What happened?

Should the Kings trade Evan Buckley? Can they?

Nash should make Buckley sit for embarrassing the team like this.

Aw, man, don’t do that. Sitting’s a little tough for Buckley right now

🤣

And I thought it couldn’t get worse than the time he fucked that mascot in Carolina

{This post may contain explicit content}

😵‍💫

🤮

Excuse you, Gritty has standards

[98 more posts]

Whether from a latent masochistic streak or just because he didn’t want to look away and find that the story had gotten bigger while he was gone, Buck couldn’t stop refreshing the pages. He read Jay’s words over and over again as his stomach roiled. If it had all been lies, Buck wouldn’t have spent the morning pressed into the corner of his couch, hoodie pulled up over his head like armor. If it had all been lies, he could have made a fiery statement, condemning the mystery author and condemning everyone who thought they had a right to consume and critique another person’s sex life.

There were some lies, of course, but it was true enough that Buck’s heart clenched with it. True enough that he could remember how he felt when it was happening, during the three times they’d been together before the photo. Soft and desired and joyful. There was a part of him that was still exposed to Jay, that always would be, this man with the sharp wit and the sharp smile who got Buck bare, begging and biddable all to make him a joke. As he read the smug asides in the unforgiving narrative, he could hear Jay’s voice in his ear.

The sixth time he read it, there was an addition.

Edit: Ha ha wow this really blew up. Doing an AMA at 6 eastern if you’re looking for more dirty details.

And for the first time, Buck felt the burn of tears in his eyes. Furious. Powerless.

The buzz of his phone started making his skin crawl so he shoved it between the couch cushions and tried not to think about it. He sat with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around, rocking just a little as he felt panic creeping in.

What else could Jay possibly have to say? Would he make up more and more audacious lies as long as he had an audience? Would an NHL team want to touch Buck when he was done?

Were there more pictures?

It was the fourth night, the night that Buck caught Jay. Not the first night with the blindfold. What if? Buck shuddered, sinking lower, deeper into the couch, folding himself tighter and smaller, trying to crush the mounting, hopeless fear. He was there for a long time.

When the gentle knock hit his door, Buck jumped and then crouched tighter into his ball. He didn’t answer. There was no one he could face right now.

The knock came again.

Then the door opened.

Buck was up like a shot, nearly falling over the coffee table as he whirled around toward the intruder. Eddie stood in the doorway, holding up one empty hand and pulling his key out of the door with the other.

“Just me.”

“What are you doing here?” Buck asked, shoving his hands into the pocket of his hoodie to hide the fact that he’d been digging his nails into his palms for the last hour.

“Well, you took off. And you weren’t answering your phone.”

Hot shame flushed across Buck’s skin. Eddie knew. Eddie had seen the article and the articles about the article and the tweets about the articles and been shouted at by the cameras outside and Buck wanted to sink into the floor.

“Notice you didn’t take the hint.”

The attitude in Buck’s response didn’t faze Eddie at all, “Do I ever?”

And that almost made Buck feel like smiling, because no, no he didn’t. He said, “No. But there’s always a first time.”

Eddie came a little further into the apartment and Buck felt crowded. Eddie always seemed to take up so much space around him. Maybe it was just that Buck felt his presence most strongly than anyone else’s. Especially when he was like this: arms crossed, focused, not letting Buck wiggle out of a conversation that he didn’t want to have.

This time was no exception. When Buck turned and went back to the couch, compulsively refreshing the comments on Jay’s post again as he went, Eddie followed right after him.

“I came by to make sure you were okay,” he said and Buck flinched again, hating that Eddie knew. Hating that the team knew.

“I’m fine,” he answered, keeping his eyes down and away from Eddie. “Coach is going to rip me a new one tomorrow, but my agent hasn’t called me to tell me I’m being traded so yet so I guess that’s-”

“Who the fuck said you were being traded?” His voice was loud enough that Buck looked up, surprised to see the intensity of anger in Eddie’s face.

“THN. NHL Network did a round table on it too, but they didn’t think anyone would take me. Oh, then Kirk Davis did a radio interview.”

Everyone had picked up those soundbites. Even through the heavily bleeped broadcast, the future hall-of-famer’s opinion on Buck had been crystal clear. At least that wasn’t new information for Buck. Davis had all but refused to shake Buck’s hand when he first joined the Predators and was a big part of why his tenure there had only lasted until the trade deadline.

“Kirk Davis is a fucking asshole. There’s a reason they never made him captain.”

“He’s not the only one who said it.”

“Then he’s not the only fucking asshole out there.” When he didn’t respond, Eddie came around the couch to stand face to face with him, noticing the open comments page as he did. “Christ, have you been reading that shit all day?”

Somehow it made Buck laugh. “It’s the same shit I’ve been reading for 8 years. Since I got drafted. Buckley’s a distraction to his team. Buckley’s an embarrassment to the game of hockey. Buckley cares more about getting laid and partying than he does about winning. It’s guys like Buckley that hurt the NHL.”

His voice pitched up as he recited the familiar accusations, staring somewhere over Eddie’s shoulder because Eddie already knew all this about him. Eddie was the opposite of Buck in every way. He would never make himself the center of attention. He’d never do anything to make his teammates ashamed to play with him. He’d never be so stupid as to go home with a guy like Jay.

“Buckley’s finally getting what he deserves.” Buck whispered.

“Look at me,” Eddie said. When Buck couldn’t, Eddie reached out, setting a light hand on his shoulder that got tighter when Buck tried to shrug out of the hold. “Hey. Look at me.”

He moved his head into the space where Buck was staring into the middle distance and waited. Until Buck couldn’t help but flick his gaze to meet Eddie’s. Once he did, he found a furious compassion that startled him.

“You don’t deserve this, Buck. You did nothing to deserve this. It is not your fault. Nobody in our room thinks it is. Bobby doesn’t think it is.”

Buck shuddered under the weight of the words. He wanted to pull himself free and he wanted to step in closer, “My agent told me I should own it. Post a couple thirst traps and a middle finger on instagram and just wave it off like another classic Evan Buckley weekend.”

There was a time when he would have. Times when he had. But this wasn’t a ridiculous paparazzi photo outside a bar, it was… It was private. It hurt.

As if reading his mind, Eddie said, “That’s not what this is. Fire him if he wants to make you pretend this is okay.”

“I just keep thinking if I was anyone else. If I was someone good, they’d all go after him and not me. I didn’t even do anything to him, Eddie. I didn’t-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Eddie tugged him forward and his arms were tight around his back. Buck should have tried to fight it, but he couldn’t help but fall against his chest and cling on. “You are someone good,” Eddie said, making Buck’s breath hitch. “And if you weren’t, it wouldn’t matter. It’s wrong. They’re wrong.”

“I shouldn’t have trusted him,” Buck confessed into the soft fabric of Eddie’s shirt. “I was so stupid back then. I just wanted- I wanted him to like me. And I’m still- It still hurts that he didn’t. How fucked up is that? He did this. And I still just wish he liked me.”

One of Eddie’s hands moved up to cradle the back of Buck’s head. They were swaying, just a little, Eddie rocking them gently. “I know,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

He managed to keep from crying, but Buck couldn’t stop his breath from coming out in soft, stuttering gasps. Couldn’t keep his fingers from digging into Eddie’s back. If he thought about it, he could imagine this post too (Evan Buckley cried like a baby on my shoulder AMA), but Eddie would never do that. The warm heat of him against Buck’s chest was like a blanket hiding him from the world. It was the most vulnerable he’d been all day and the most sheltered.

Eddie didn’t let go until Buck pulled back and even then he didn’t go far, “Have you eaten since practice?”

“I didn’t think I’d be able to without throwing up,” Buck said honestly.

“Do you want to order something from-”

The timer on Buck’s laptop shrieked and they both jumped. Eddie recovered quickly, but Buck’s heart leapt into his throat. He’d almost forgotten. How could he have forgotten? Pulling away from Eddie, he turned off the timer and refreshed the post, looking for the link he knew would be there.

“Come on, Buck, really?”

Eddie reached out to slam the laptop closed, but Buck shoved his hand in the way. “I have to, Eddie. He’s doing an AMA. I have to-”

“I’m not going to let you torture yourself reading what a bunch of sick assholes have to say, Buck. No way.”

“I have to.”

“No, you-”

“Yes, I do!” He shouted it, standing up to look Eddie in the eye. “I have to read it. I have to see it now because if- if- if I wait and it gets reposted- I have to know if he has- I have to-”

“Buck,” Eddie said, putting his hands on Buck’s arms, trying to rub calmness back into him even as Buck’s heart-rate accelerated. “What does he have? What could be worse than what he already-”

“Pictures,” Buck yelled. “I have to know if he has pictures.”

A dark, dark look came over Eddie’s face and he stopped rubbing Buck’s arms to squeeze instead. “You think he has pictures?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Buck whimpered. He saw himself as if from above, stretched out long and lewd against Jay’s sheets. He imagined ten thousand other people seeing it. “He took- I caught him taking one. Once. But I don't know if it was the only one. I don’t- I can’t let them get out. If he has them, I have to know. I have to report the post. I have to-”

“No,” Eddie said.

“Yes, Eddie. I have-”

“I hear you. Okay? I hear you, but I’m not letting you do that. I’m not letting you put any more of that garbage in your head.”

“Eddie.”

“I’ll do it. I’ll report every goddamn post.” Lifting one hand, Eddie stroked a thumb softly along Buck’s hairline. “Let me do it. Let me protect you.”

Buck swallowed hard, fear and relief and longing fighting for control of the tears that were building up again. He didn’t want Eddie to see any of that. He didn’t want Jay’s words in Eddie’s head. But Buck really really didn’t want them in his own. He wanted someone to protect him. “Thank you,” he said, falling forward again to rest his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“I’ve got you,” Eddie replied, rubbing his hands firmly up Buck’s back.

Eddie wouldn’t let Buck sit on the couch while he monitored the thread. He fished Buck’s phone out of the couch and made him answer the important messages. From Maddie. From Bobby. From Hen and Chimney. Then he’d told him to order food from the Lebanese place they always ordered from when Eddie came over, asking for extra of the pickled turnips. All the while, Eddie’s fingers slammed onto the keyboard, that sound the only reaction he gave to any of the posts.

It should have been unbearable, letting Eddie comb through the messages. Even without seeing them, Buck knew what they were like. He blocked people every week for the same kind of thing. But Eddie had a defense against them that Buck never had: he didn’t believe they were true. Not even a little bit. He didn’t believe there was a chance that Buck was getting what he deserved for being a show off, for never being a points leader, for being open and soft hearted, for being himself. Eddie believed Buck deserved to be protected and he was ruthless about it.

“No pictures,” he said, a while later, when Jay had finally stopped replying to every comment on the page. “And the rest of it is… well. It’s nothing new.”

“Really?”

“Really. I think it’s done.”

Eddie closed the laptop as if by making that gesture of finality, he could make the words true. Buck, allowed back on his own couch, let himself believe it too. Let himself lean into the safety of Eddie’s arm over his shoulders, breathing in a deep sigh of relief as they caught the Canucks game.

The next morning, Jay’s story was hardly anywhere to be seen. It was replaced. By an essay in The Players’ Tribune. It excoriated Jay. It called out Kirk Davis by name and hundreds of online posters by their bad intentions. It praised Buck’s grace, tenacity, and backhand shot and it demanded respect and compassion and privacy from anyone who called themselves a hockey fan. And it wasn’t anonymous.

The Adventure - TMNT Bitches:  chapter 10

CHAPTER 10:  Through the Looking Glass  

·         The four brothers exit the parking deck and are immediately overwhelmed by the steady stream of people walking to and fro.  Donnie has his eyes glued to his virtual display while Leo and Mikey each take up flanking positions on either side of him to guard his shoulders so he doesn’t trip over the crowds walking past.

·         “Oh no-no-no, this is not good!”, Donnie exclaims while panning left and right with his display, trying to find the trail that is quickly disappearing right before his eyes.

·         “What is it, Donnie?”, Leo asks, the concern thick in his voice.

·         Donnie frantically pans in a wider arch, but the trail is fading too quickly.  The flow of the foot traffic is causing too much interference and the particle stream is all but faded away, “Leo, I think we have a problem here.  The portal residue isn’t as clear down here on the street as I had hoped.  I’ve lost the trail”.

·         “Great! Now what?”, Raph’s towering figure grumbles from behind them all, where he has taken of the posterior position to keep people from walking dead-straight into Donnie as he stands stationary in the middle of a river of people.

·         “Give me a minute to think, Raph”, Leo chides but he’s feeling his own sense of panic rising. He’s never been claustrophobic, after all he lives under ground, but here with all these bodies pressing in around them, jostling past them, the serum keeping them in human form already on its count-down clock, and their one clue to follow Shredder is literally disappearing before their eyes, he’s never felt so out of his element…so not ready to lead.  However, he doesn’t have the option to quit, to flake out, his brothers are looking to him for guidance.

·         Leo studies their surroundings, the people, the activity….and then he sees it, the thing that gives him a new idea, a new possible solution to their dilemma.  He’s watching people all over pulling out their cell phones to take pictures of each other’s costumes, to stream and vlog about their adventures as they walk down the street, “Donnie, can you search through the media flowing around this event?  Maybe we’ll get lucky can catch a glimpse of Shredder in the background of someone’s post.”.

·         “Can I? Psssshhh.  Does Mikey like pizza?”, Donnie throws Leo a sassy glance before flipping through his virtual screens again.  Almost as soon as he starts flipping and searching the data streams, a ping comes from his computer, then another, and another, “Oh boy, BINGO!”, Donnie exclaims.

·         Mikey leans in close from Donnie’s right shoulder, omitting the concept of personal space, and nearly blocking Donnie’s field of vision of the display, “Dude…that’s Shredder!”.

·         “I KNOW, Mikey”, Donnie says and grabs Mikey’s cute little human face with his large left hand and pushes him back a few inches in order to have some breathing room, “it’s a video that’s quickly going viral of an altercation between Shedder some human kid”.

·         “What’s he saying?”, Leo asks, leaning in from the left.

·         “Hm…not good…he’s looking for fighters but at least we know where he’s going, according to my search this ‘Marriott’ that the guy mentions is a hotel just down the street…the Atlanta Marriott Marquis.”

·         “Then let’s get movin’, Don, lead da way.”, Raph shoves Donnie from behind, where he’s still acting as a barricade between his lithe brother and the crushing public. He’s eager to get moving, standing still when Shredder is out there hunting for a new army is grating on his nerves.

·         The quartet of disguised mutants walk along in the crowd, still in more shock and awe of being able to walk so freely among the general masses.  The laughter, the smiles, the excitement, and comradery are palpable in the air.  Everyone is high spirts and the four brothers are right in the middle of it.  This is truly a new and welcomed experience for them.

·         For too long they have watched from the shadows as people had fun.  They would watch club goers and weekend warriors living it up on Friday and Saturday nights in New York while they stood on roof tops patrolling and keeping watch…from a distance.  They often wondered, and in some of their cases daydreamed, about being part of the crowd below.  And, now, here they were, walking in soft human skins with the rest of the world.  Would they ever be able to go back to the shadows and not feel empty inside?

·         As they each ponder the experience quietly and the implications of these experiences on their future selves, they follow the flow of the crowd as it passes under the carport awning of the Marriott Marquis.  The voices and sounds of laughter echoing and bouncing back under the marquee, adding to the energy of the atmosphere.

·         They enter the establishment through the double sliding doors and are immediately stuck speechless by the activity and the setting.  The hotel was architecturally beautiful, it’s 47 stories visible in the main atrium with a cluster of stylish elevators quickly running crowds of people up and down the inside column of the atrium.  Hundreds, no, thousands of people, most of which that were in some form of costume milled about talking, taking pictures, and celebrating as one.

·         Donnie was sure that he had died and gone to nerd heaven…nerd nirvana…nerd-vana.  A small tear rests at the edge of one of his eyes.  Mikey’s hyperactive mind starts to short circuit as his eyes jump around the celebratory scene in front of him…’now THIS is a PARTY’, he thinks to himself.  Raph bringing up the rear, is stunned into silence himself. There are women…EVERYWHERE…WITH VERY LITTLE ON…AND WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE!  

·         Leo quickly assesses the scene and the effect that it is having on his brothers’ attention span, he’s got to set down the rules quickly and keep them focused on the task of finding Shredder.  “Ok, guys, let’s split up and find Shredder quickly as possible.  There are a lot of people here, so he’ll have plenty to blend in with, or use as victims against us, we NEED to find him quickly.  Raph, you’re with me, we’ll down those escalators and search there. Don you and Mike take that upper level.  If you see Shredder call for backup, don’t engage until we can be sure that we can keep the area clear and ensure that people won’t get hurt.”.

·         Leo and Raph descend to the lower level via the escalator.  The level is one large arching circle with various wings and ballrooms off its center.  There is a back entrance where other vehicles are making pit stops, picking up and dropping off of party-goers.  Leo doesn’t like this scenario, it’s going to be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. “We need to move through these wings to make sure he hasn’t made it to some of the maintenance areas.

·         Raph doesn’t hear Leo’s directions as he is fully distracted by a group of women cosplaying as a Sailor Moon group standing around the lower level posing for pictures. He grins devilishly at them as they wave teasingly at him.  Leo lets out an alpha snort, which doesn’t have much impact coming from his smaller human lungs, and he punches the oversexed behemoth in the arm, “Raph, focus!”.  

·         “I am focusing, Fearless, I’m focusing on dat real hard”, he replies slyly while his eyes haven’t left the group of short-skirted women.

·         Leo shakes his head, “I knew I should have brought Donnie with me, but I couldn’t trust you and Mikey together.”.

·         Raph’s eyes finally leave the group of cosplayers to stare pointedly at Leo, “I don’t need ya ta babysit me, LEO.  I’ll find Shredda and kick his ass all da way back ta New York”, he snarls aggressively.

·         “Fine, prove it, let’s move”, Leo challenges and starts leading the way down through the bowels of the hotel.

·         As Donnie and Mikey crested the escalator, their eyes saw even more of the festivities taking place on the main level.  People crowded around the bar and the dance platform, one story up overlooking the main level lobby, was packed to the brim with people grinding and gyrating to the beats from the house DJ.

·         “Don, I think I’ve died and gone to heaven”, Mikey whispers out reverently.

·         “We need to find Shredder, Mikey, we don’t have time to play around”, Donnie says, even though his own eyes are wandering the crowds appreciating the costume designs, period replicas people are carrying, and the….uhm….nice outfits of the ladies. Donnie subtly adjusts the crotch of his cargo pants.  He may be slightly smaller in human form, but proportionally still quite sizable and too many ‘happy thoughts’ still cause an uncomfortable tightness down below.

·         “Ok, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think we need to split up to cover more ground. There is just too many going on and Shredder will be able to hide among it.  Mikey, PLEASE, don’t get lost and stay focused.”, Donnie negotiates with his younger brother.

·         “Don, you can count on me, bro!  Detective Mikey is on the case!”, he clasps Donnie on the shoulder before starting to walk off to circle the atrium from the left.

·         “We’ll meet back up by the bar”, Donnie yells at him over the crowd before he moves off to the right, searching the crowds for a villain but appreciating the other visual interests as well.

@turtle-babe83 @tmntspidergirl @kokokatsworld @nittleboo @the-second-circle-of-shell

I was gonna ask you what the terrible opinions on our dearest children that have you so mad are but then I realised that really would be asking you to vague people lmao. You talked about people getting character 'fundamentals' wrong and all I really wanna know (since your takes are always SO GOOD), what are these 'fundamentals' that you wish more people understood? TALK TO ME ABOUT MY KIDS I MISS THEMMM

yeah i’m not gonna vague post but i saw such a horrible take on mike the other day and i was like. holy fucking shit what are you on. technically that’s vague posting but i’m talking about my best boy rn real quick. and no. it’s not gonna actually be quick.

mike is an emotional person. he’s got all these big and loud and confusing feelings inside of him. but the one that tends to find it’s way to the forefront of his mind the most is… love. mike, at his core, is just someone who loves his friends. and- in a way that is so similar to el which in it of itself is an interesting characterization that i might talk more about later bc i have mentioned it before- that can be dangerous because when people say love is blind, they were talking about mike wheeler blindly throwing himself into dangerous situations to protect the ones he loves.

one thing thing that almost pisses me off is when i see people act like mike doesn’t… like his friends? bc quite literally what the fuck. what the fuck. a lot of mileven shippers do this but to be frank, just as many byler shippers do it too. and as much as i’d like to keep shipping out of this discussion, i can’t, because mike’s a character who’s role has been diminished to “el/will’s boyfriend” both in the fandom spaces and the show. when the byers and el moved away, i was kinda excited to see how mike was going to operate apart from will and el. but then he’s running away to see them which, okay. presents its own unique story and character opportunities. so it’s fine. but like. he’s just got so much love for will and el and lucas and dustin (and hopefully one day for max) that it physically pains me to see people say that he doesn’t.

i’ve mentioned before that we tend to forget the “best friends” part of best friends to lovers. mike and will weren’t always in love romantically. for most of their lives, they’ve been in love platonically and that connection grew into what we see. i don’t even think the romantic feelings started until season two. and it just goes to show how little worth people see in friendships and platonic relationships, when i see them try to diminish mike’s friendships to build up his romances.

i just love him a lot okay because his emotions are so messy and he doesn’t understand them but he needs everyone to know how he’s feeling even if he doesn’t want to so he’s loud about it in the most dishonest ways possible and yeah sometimes he’s a jerk and oh yes is he annoying but one day he’s gonna finally open up and we’re gonna truly see his heart and then it’ll all be over for you bitches.