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ravenbloodau · 4 years

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The Voyages of Ker'Tak and Skye

Ker'Tak's ship had landed on Earth, as ordered by the High Concil of Planets. They were ready and eager to explore this once uninhabited planet..

Or, what they had *thought* to be an uninhabited planet. Turns out the whole planet was teeming with intelligent life. Humankind, is what they introduced themselves as on an old satellite that the High Council had found.

Ker'Tak was relatively young, so their crewmates sent them out to scout amongst the younger generations of humans. Diguised, of course, to prevent fear amongst the younglings.

Their curiosity was peaked when they heard someone talking of a celebration of one of the younglings.

A "birthday party" celebrating the Human known as Skye Lafayette. Everyone appeared to just be calling her Skye, however.

"You should come, Eric," Human Gia, Skye's twin sister, as Ker'Tak gathered. "Eric" was his cover name, "she'd enjoy your humor!"

"Thank you Gia, I think I will attend," Ker'Tak nodded quietly. They were nervous, needless to say. Human younglings were so energetic, so spontaneous, and much stronger than their adult counterparts.

"Great! The party is Friday!" Gia waved good-bye as she ran off with other human younglings.

Ker'tak waved back, and watched as Gia ran with her pack.

They felt a strange warmth flush up in their face, as if this meeting meant something. These humans were small, insignificant, often useless.

Ker'Tak couldn't and didn't understand why the High Council was so interested in humans and their homeworld after the first reports were sent in.

"Keep observing, Ker'Tak, the younglings will be the ones we learn the most from," Ket'Sa ordered, "Who knows? Maybe these humans have more ability than we give them credit for."

Ker'Tak took that to say the High Council could use them as manual laborers. It seemed they had the ability for such work, and were significantly shorter than the Si'Tians.

Despite what little they knew about humans, however, Ker'Tak felt oddly at home amongst them. The members of their pod always called them strange, emotional, and at times impulsive. They took the insults as compliments and pressed on in their mission.

Friday, October 3rd rolled around and Ker'Tak found himself on the doorstep of Skye and Gia's abode. The loud noises from inside startled Ker'Tak, but they thought for a moment, pausing at the door.

This was a custom of humankind, they should be kind and respectful. They should knock.

They knocked cautiously, patiently waiting for a reply. Ker'Tak was startled by the sudden appearance of an identical youngling to Gia. It was Skye, they were sure of it.

The messy red streak in her hair and the oddly bright expression Skye carried, as Gia described her, caught Ker'Tak by surprise. They put on their best smile.

"Hey, is this were Skye's birthday party is?" Ker'Tak beamed awkwardly. Of course it was, they had made sure of it, but Human Skye took no notice of their fumble.

"Yep! You've got the right place!" She laughed it off, "You must be Eric, Gia told me about you! It's nice to finally meet you! I'm Skye!" Her introduction was quick, and she held out her hand to Ker'Tak.

Ker'Tak, unsure of exactly how to commence the "handshake" took Skye's hand. She shook their hand firmly, with a sort of glowing confidence.

This somehow got Ker'Tak to relax, and smile a little more genuinely.

"My name is Ka- Eric," Ker'Tak was almost caught using their true name. Skye laughed as she invited Ker'Tak in.

"Alright Ke-Eric, come in! We've got plenty of food, games, and a cake that'll be all set in a couple of minutes!" Skye led them in.

The atmosphere of this living-den was rather warm, disarmingly charming in it's own sense. Ker'Tak found themselves relaxing as they ate and talked alongside the crowd.

They laughed with Ker'Tak, telling their own jokes and making fun of silly things humans do. Ker'Tak learned that humans celebrated their dates of birth every year, using that to determine age, instead of every cycle around the sun at the same time each year for everyone.

The oddly decorated cake caught their attention, as it was decorated with symbols and letters from ancient languages Ker'Tak had seen before, and nearly everywhere they turned, something reminiscent of space and interstellar travel seemed to pop from the decor.

*You look like a Monkey*

*And you smell like one too!*

The songs ended, and Skye blew out candles that signified her age. Kar'Tek went to "use the bathroom." They had no intention of bathing, however.

Unfortunately, the current tech they were using to hide their appearance was running low on charge.

Kar'Tek had to find a reason to return to their ship before their cover was blown.

Gia's voice came from beyond the door.

"Eric? Eric, dude, you alright?" Gia called. Kar'Tek didn't answer as they tried to find something to work with to get away from the party.

"I am alright, just washing up!" Kar'Tek lied. The device around their wrist beeped loudly and the illusion dropped.

*No no no no no not now, I have to return to the ship* Ker'Tak stared into the mirror, now frightened by what the human younglings could do to them if they found themselves staring Ker'Tak down.

"Eric? Is that a blood sugar monitor? Are you sure you're alright?" Gia didn't give Ker'Tak time to answer, "Skye! Get the bathroom key! Eric's in trouble!"

"Eric?" Skye's voice bounced around the small room, "I'm coming in," Ker'Tak heard a small whisper, *"Please be decent."*

Skye stepped into the bathroom, closed the door and looked up from the floor. Her jaw dropped as Ker'Tak started to tremble before her.

"Eric?" Her voice dropped a tone as she reached out to Ker'Tak, "Is that you?"

Ker'Tak looked at Skye, and very *very* cautiously, they answered her.

"Human Eric did not exist, in truth. I am Ker'Tak, a Si'Nian, from far past your star. I was told to come and study humankind, under the orders of the High Council of Planets. I apologize for any inconvenience and any worry I may have caused you, Human Skye," Ker'Tak apologized, trying to keep their gaze to Skye's.

She seemed stunned, but neither fear nor shock was the overall emotion conveyed. It was awe that seemed to etch itself into her features.

"Ker'Tak, that explains earlier..And all those jokes, you were trying to understand," She whispered as her hands moved up toward her mouth, "You...You're incredible."

Ker'Tak was taken aback by this remark. Ker'tak was *below average* for their species, and this human youngling saw them as *incredible*?

"I believe you are mistake, Human Skye, I am below average for my kind, in height and emotional control. I am, as my colleges say, impulsive," Ker'Tak admitted ashamed.

"Impulsive isn't a bad thing, nor is being emotional," Skye started almost immediately, "You're incredible to me, and you would be to my friends."

"I do not believe your colleagues would appreiciate my being here, especially after I have disrupted such a special day for you and your pod-mate," Ker'Tak was still nervous, although Skye was a progressive and uniquely brave human youngling, they couldn't be sure of the other's reactions.

"Well, Ker'Tak, I can frame this as a planned part of the event, I am a sci-fi nerd. I can get you out of the house as long as you can stay a little longer. Are you in any pain?" Skye was concerned, it was showing in her expression.

Pain? Why would she be worried about pain? Does she really not know what Ker'Tak was capable of? Why was she being so kind to them?

"Ah, no, I am not in any pain Human Skye, I simply used an device that manipulated the light around me," Ker'Tak reassured her, still unsure of how to proceed, "I can stay longer, but how do you plan to get me out of your living-den?"

"Oh, I can tell them that you're in cosplay-" Skye paused, "we humans like to wear complicated outfits for the sake of fun, some of us mirror TV shows or fictional characters we enjoy, others come up with entirely new ideas and use them to create a series of costumes in order to tell a story."

"This plan involves telling your colleagues that I am in "cosplay"? Does that mean anything significant to them normally?" Ker'Tak inquired, rather confused as to how this plan could work.

"No, not normally, but they'll think it a nice touch to the space theme I've had going for this party, not much of it's accurate though, based mostly on science fiction," Skye admitted, halfway between her normal hue of peach and a bright red.

Ker'Tak nodded, understanding what she meant, and what she was trying to do.

"I am not insulted, in fact, it's rather curious how humans managed to invent the exact same language as another race we know as the Shin'Khan. But that is a discussion for another time," Ker'Tak let their worries lighten, maybe Human Skye was right to come up with such a simple plan, after all, she knew her kind better than they did.

"So you're willing to go through with the plan?" Skye asked and Ker'Tak nodded,patiently awaiting her instructions, "Ok, just, act ummm, I wouldn't say natural, but honestly just be yourself."

That was it? That was the plan? Ker'Tak nodded, now slightly concerned in Skye's certainty for saying these things, but they went along with it anyway.

"Skye? Is Eric alright?" Gia called to her sister.

"Yes! He's alright! In fact," Skye started to open the door, "Oh move out of the way!" Gia laughed as the crowd parted to give them room to step out of the bathroom.

Ker'Tak was hesitant, but the stepped out of the bathroom and awaited the reactions of Skye's peers.

The gasps of awe got Ker'Tak to open their eyes, and the younglings cheered and laughed.

"Eric! Skye! This is amazing! How did you get the costume in? And look that that makeup, it's amazing! You guys out did yourselves!" Gia laughed, "It looks so real."

Ker'Tak felt a wave of anxiety wash over them as Skye took one of their lower hands. She mouthed the words "It's ok. You'll be okay."

They nodded, and proceeded to continue the act of being Human Eric.

They proceeded to mess around with younglings, too, tapping them here and there as the festivities went on without a hitch.

Ker'Tak fell into the comfort of being themselves amongst the human younglings, but they choose to linger close to Skye. They didn't know it at the time, but that sense of security meant something significant to their species.

It meant that they could be accepted, and accept humans, as they were.

Towards the end of the evening, around 2000 hours, everyone had been dismissed from the gathering except for Ker'Tak.

"Hey Eric, I can walk you home if you want," Skye offered to escort them out of her living-den, most likely to protect them from any hostile humans.

"I would appreciate that, Skye," Ker'Tak walked towards the door and opened it for Skye.

Walking down the dim street, Ker'Tak found themselves distressed, looking down at Human Skye more and more often.

"Human Skye, if my crewmates discover that I have been seen like this, they may try to eradicate your memory of me," Ker'Tak admitted upon pausing under a street light.

Skye looked back at them, and smiled.

"I'm ok with that, I just want to make sure you get back alright. You've given me one of the best days of my life, Ker'Tak, and I hope to one day repay the favor, even if I don't remember you," Skye was kind in her response, but also greatly saddened by the fact that she would forget Ker'Tak.

They were truly remarkable to her, even if she knew very little about them. She found their way of speaking, their way of conveying emotion to be unique, and as powerful as any human expression of emotion.

Ker'Tak's distress grew as they saw Skye's eyes start leaking water.

"Human Skye, are you in distress? I did not mean to upset you!" Ker'Tak panicked a little, reaching out to the youngling, "You do not have to repay me, and I doubt that you will ever see me again after tonight."

"That's just the thing," Skye mumbled through her tightened throat, "I *want* to remember you, and get to know you better. It would be selfish though, not to take you back to your ship."

Ker'Tak was taken aback by this. They knew humans bonded easily to other animals, like the wolves and bobcats of the Earth, but to have "pack" bonded to them.. So quickly.. It was remarkable. The High Council certainly could not take such a bond away, not until they could study it further.

"It is possible you won't have to forget, Human Skye," Ker'Tak started, gingerly taking up Skye in their arms, "I could bring you back to the ship, and explain to them the events of tonight, and how you aided me to escape."

Skye sniffed halfheartedly taking up Ker'Tak's lower arms. Quietly she nodded.

"Lead the way."

Ker'Tak and Skye walked together quite a ways into the woods to get to Ker'Tak's ship. However, it is always hunting season in the backwoods.. *Especially at night.*

A gunshot was fired toward the two, and Skye let out a yelp of pain. Ker'Tak flinched, and in ducking behind an old wall in found just nearby, they saw Skye stumbling over. Something was dripping down her arm and chest.

"Ker'Tak..." The weakness in Skye's voice brought panic upon Ker'Tak. They debated the use of their comm, it would make sense as someone was hurt, badly by the looks of it.

Ker'Tak lept over, their legs moving springing them forward enough to catch Skye and get back out of the line of fire behind another wall.

"*KER'TAK, WE'RE BEAMING YOU BACK UP IMMEDIATELY*" Their Captain told them, and they were beamed back aboard the ship, Skye still wounded in their arms.

The wounded youngling let out a sharp cry, crying weakly as she struggled to breathe.

"OUT OF THE WAY! CLEAR THE WAY! WOUNDED HUMAN!" Ker'Tak landed with a running start, brushing past the Captain and rushed toward the medbay.

Immediately the Captain followed them, and watched as Ker'Tak worked to heal Skye's wound.

"Ker'Tak, my lung, the bullet's in..." Skye's vocals broke off into violent coughing as Ker'Tak managed to pull out the metal shrapnel in her side.

"Rest, and do try and hold still. This will hurt," Ker'Tak told Skye and she nodded. The sheer anguish on her face as they stitched up her lung and her skin almost got Ker'Tak to stop.

But they stitched her up and injected a growth steroid to speed up the process and avoid scarring. She would need to stay overnight, for safety's sakes.

"Ker'Tak, this human was harmed how?" The Captain asked as Ker'Tak closed the pod Skye was in.

"Another Human shot her with a primitive gunpowder weapon. Originally the weapon was aimed toward me," Ker'Tak admitted, "Human Skye was escorting me back to the ship after my disguise was dropped."

The Captain stiffened as they looked over at Human Skye.

"She's seen too much of us, you know we have to preform a memory wipe," The Captain began. Ker'Tak stopped them.

"Captain, Human Skye has expressed much *discomfort* in losing memories with myself involved. She is comfortable with us, in fact, she and her peers were very comfortable with me in my original form, even if they believed it to be a disguise," Ker'Tak looked over at Skye, "She saved my life."

"She...You called her Human Skye?" The Captain's expression dropped to a painful concern.

"Yes Captain," Ker'Tak nodded as the Captain looked them over.

"Well, Ker'Tak, it is time we contacted the Humans openly. Your comfort amongst them and their younglings confirms not only their intelligence and sympathy, but also their compatibility for the High Council's regulations and recommendations," The Captain smiled at Ker'Tak, "Well done, Doctor."

"Well done?" Ker'Tak asked, befuddled by their captain's sudden congratulations, "What do you mean?"

"I mean congratulations, you have offical made First Contact with the Humans, according to their knowledge. As of this moment, they will become a part of the High Council of Planets, join their fleets, learn from us as we may learn from them," The Captain spoke boldly, "You have introduced an entire species to an endless Universe."

Ker'Tak paused for a moment, then looked back at their Captain.

"Thank you, Captain, but I do believe I should take care of my patient first, before we send our official reguards," Ker'Tak nodded.

The Captain allowed it, so Ker'Tak took a uniquely close care of Skye that evening, talking to her about the many ways things were about to change.

"Does this mean I won't have to forget you?" Skye asked as 0800 hours rolled around. Ker'Tak nodded, which caused Skye to smile.

"You will not have to forget me, or anything else about last night's events, or today's, or tomorrow's. In fact, if anything, we may be working together from here forward, Human Skye," Ker'Tak tried to wrap their mind around it, working with a human female, "Even if you are deemed a weak, useless human female, I like to entertain the thought of working alongside you."

Skye smiled, trying to not give show as to how harshly that last remark came off.

"That's good, Ker'Tak, I'd like to think that of you as well."

They started talking as the world became captivated by the starship and the arrival of the Si'Nians on Earth.

Everyone wanted to talk to the girl who had saved and alien, and all across the galaxy, everyone wanted to see what the doctor had discovered in the human race that made them decide it was time to reveal what was *really* out there.

And here the two were, sitting in the medbay of the starship, mid-afternoon, talking to each other as the bright rays of daylight filtered through the window.

This was going to be an exciting ride.

#humans are space orcs #first contact #aliens #story series #the voyages of ker'tak and skye #boredom #fun #story #fiction #sci-fi #happy #birthday party #space

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bamon4bamily · 4 years

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TVD 9x11 - Jukebox Feels (part 1) Enjoy! =)

Cut to - 2018 prison world, the Salvatore mansion. Katherine walks through the front door, dazed and confused. She must be having a nightmare, she thinks to herself; this can’t be happening, she can’t possibly be where she thinks she is. Although her intuition tells her the contrary, she gives it a shot, on the slim chance it might not be true…

KATHERINE: Hello? Anyone there? (She searches the house; as expected, it’s empty. She tries different techniques to escape the situation. Pinches herself to wake up, nothing. Taps her feet together, and with her eyes closed whispers: There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home… doesn’t work either). Maybe if I go to sleep, I’ll wake up and everything will be back to normal… Yes, I need to sleep (she goes into Stefan’s room, puts on one of his pajamas and lies in his bed. Not even a minute in, and she’s off dreaming of sheep.

Cut to – Akumal, Mexico. After a beautiful moonlight dinner, Damon and Bonnie sit on the beach, admiring the full moon’s glow, and some real good tequila.

DAMON: (Randomly) Truth or dare…

BONNIE: (Laughs) Are you serious?

DAMON: I’m dead serious, come on, scaredy-cat!

BONNIE: Please! I just don’t want to humiliate you, cry-baby!

DAMON: Oh, it’s on! Brace yourself for defeat!

BONNIE: Bring it!

DAMON: One rule, no magic or psychy stuff!

BONNIE: Fine, no vamp tricks.

DAMON: Deal. Truth or dare?

BONNIE: Dare.

DAMON: I’ll start easy, (smirks) don’t want you loosing so fast. I dare you to take a shot of tequila while doing a handstand.

BONNIE: Piece of cake! (Delivers to perfection) My turn, truth or dare?

DAMON: Truth.

BONNIE: Okay, let’s settle this once and for all; do you steal from the bank when we play monopoly?

DAMON: (Grins) Not every time…

BONNIE: (Whacks him with her elbow) I knew it!

DAMON: What can I say, Bon, too much temptation. Okay, truth or dare?

BONNIE: Dare.

DAMON: I’m sensing a pattern here, but suit yourself. I dare you to go up to one of the people at the bar and tell them, in a very low and creepy voice, I see dead people…

BONNIE: I’m gonna get you back for this one! (Although hesitant, she delivers; freaking the hell out of the poor soul unfortunate to be approached by her. They go back to their spot) Okay, Mr. smarty pants. My turn, truth or dare… and you better choose dare!

DAMON: Dare… I say truth!

BONNIE: I’ll break you, eventually. What is the most embarrassing thing in your room?

DAMON: Oh, you’re going there! You already know the answer…

BONNIE: I do, but I want to hear you say it.

DAMON: Fine, my unicorn onesies.

BONNIE: With a butt crack… can’t forget the butt crack (she laughs)!

DAMON: They’re cozy! Okay, missy, shit just got real! Truth or dare…

BONNIE: I’m going with truth; just cause I know you’ll make me do some crazy shit after that one.

DAMON: (With a wicked grin, rubbing his hands) Excellent… What is your guilty pleasure?

BONNIE: Oh, come on! You know that…

DAMON: I do, but I also want to hear you say it, so, go on…

BONNIE: Fine… occasionally I like to dress up like Whitney Houston in the Queen of the Night video from the Bodyguard, and perform in front of the mirror…

DAMON: Occasionally? More like every other Sunday... and it’s HOT AF!

BONNIE: Can’t believe you caught me doing that!

DAMON: One of my fondest prison world memories! I have to hand it to you, Bon, you really got creative with the costume.

BONNIE: I’ve perfected it since then… Well, there, I said it! Happy now?

DAMON: Never been happier… (leans in to kiss her) and you are, beyond a doubt, the queen of the night…

BONNIE: Don’t think for a second that’s gonna get you out of what’s coming…Truth or dare?

DAMON: I’m a mix it up and go with dare.

BONNIE: (With a wicked grin, rubbing her hands) Been waiting for that since we started.

DAMON: I’m instantly regretting my decision.

BONNIE: (Laughs) Oh, and you should! You’re in trouble now… Mr. Damon Salvatore, your mission, which you have no choice but to accept, is to (she opens a portal to their room, goes and comes back).

DAMON: Hey, we said no tricks!

BONNIE: You said no magic, no psychic stuff, but you never mentioned teleporting, so suck it! Here (hands him one of her outfits and her make-up kit) Put this on, make-up and all. Once you are ready, and looking gorge, you are going to perform Queen of the Night to the guests at the beach bar. Good luck, doll! (Laughs hysterically).

DAMON: Oh, Bon-Bon… when you least expected, I’ll get you back.

BONNIE: (Mocking) I’m sure you will; but for now, come on, dancing queen, your audience awaits. (Damon performs, surprisingly well, or at least good enough to receive and applause from his audience, who, although very confused, found the show quite entertaining. They go back to their spot). You did great, almost nailed the choreography.

DAMON: Well, I learned from the best.

BONNIE: I think it’s safe to say I won this little game.

DAMON: This time around…

BONNIE: How bout you get out of those clothes, I get out of mine, and we go for a night swim?

DAMON: Don’t have to ask me twice! (As he is taking the high heels off) How do you guys walk in these things??

BONNIE: You get used to it, (teasing) just don’t get too used to it... Ready, my night queen?

DAMON: (Carries her) Let’s go, witchy! (They swim under the moonlight; then make love till sunrise).

Cut to - The secret facility, Edward’s cell. He has been sleeping for quite some time. He slowly begins to wake; as he opens his eyes, he sees someone lying on the floor under a pool of blood, right next to his bed. He jumps up in a scare.

AUGUSTUS: Oh, don’t be alarmed, son, it’s not me, I’m doing just fine. Meet your uncle Pete; granted it might not be the best introduction, but hey, you wanted to meet your family… well, there you go.

EDWARD: (Disgusted and in shock) What is this!!??

AUGUSTUS: It’s a dead body, son. And, from what I hear they start to smell pretty bad once they decompose; so, I suggest you move fast and bring your cousin Matty back. Feel free to use our tech if it helps, Eddie here (points to the strange man that has been standing outside his cell everyday) is more than happy to help.

EDWARD: (Crying in despair, looking at the corpse) Oh god, oh, god!!! (To his father) You are fucking insane!!!

AUGUSTUS: Language, boy! I taught you better manners than that… guess I should have never left you in Tamara’s care; what a waste of an ivy-league education. My fault for bringing in the trash. Oh, well… time is ticking, and that body is stinking… Ha, that rhymed, maybe I should pick up poetry? I always did love Literature… Anyway, (belittling) Mayor Powell, let’s see just how smart and powerful you really are. Rest assured, if you get the job done, I promise I will make it worth your while (he leaves; Edward can’t stop crying, imagining Matt’s pain).

Cut to - Munich, Germany. Sam, Elena, Sage, and Alex, are having some drinks, after their first days of the program.

SAGE: I knew this program was going to be out of the ordinary, but it’s totally blowing my mind!

ELENA: I agree, it’s amazing! The equipment we have access to is unbelievable! Never knew those types of tools and tech even existed.

SAM: (Putting his drink up for a cheer) Here’s to an unorthodox quality education, and to new awakenings!

ALL: Cheers! (They drink, share some laughs and anecdotes; at some point, the boys get into their own conversation in another area of the bar. Elena and Sage have no option but to interact more closely).

ELENA: Listen, I’m sorry for calling you a bitch.

SAGE: I’m sorry for being one. (Holds her hand out for a handshake) Do-over?

ELENA: Do-over (shakes her hand). So, tell me, why are you so obsessed with Pietro? Not judging, just curious.

SAGE: I know a lot of people think he is just an entitled jerk, but he is so far from that. I mean, yes, he is arrogant and pretentious, but when you’ve accomplished what he has, you kind of earn the right to be.

ELENA: Still don’t get it, what has he accomplished? He’s not even a Doctor…

SAGE: He owns the world’s most groundbreaking technology companies. Ai, IoT, nanotech, you name it, he is behind it. He might not be the science side of the operation, but he is the business side that makes it possible. Just between us, I’m pretty sure he is a vampire. Get this, while I was doing research on his background, I stumbled upon some pretty crazy documentation that dates his birth back to 1865. It’s either that, or he stole some real old dead guy’s identity.

ELENA: That is definitely not a coincidence… Do the names Stefan and Damon Salvatore ring a bell?

SAGE: Never heard of them, who are they?

ELENA: Besides my ex-boyfriends, I think they might be Pietro’s half-brothers.

SAGE: (Laughs) That’s impossible…

ELENA: Put two and two together…

SAGE: Oh, they’re also…? OMG! So, you slept with two vampires, and they were brothers??!! I totally miss read you, you’re a badass!! I love it!! (Holds her drink up) Cheers for that!

ELENA: Well, the brothers thing is something I’m really not proud of. I was young and gave in to my darkest desires; but I guess karma got me served, because they both fell in love with my best friends; so…

SAGE: Hey, nothing to be ashamed of; more power to you! I mean, it’s okay when men do it, but as woman we get shamed for it… Fuck that shit!

ELENA: Good point... (holds her glass up for a cheer) Here’s to woman equality!

SAGE: Fuck yeah! So, tell me, how did you end up getting involved with vampires?

ELENA: It’s a long and complicated story… Let’s just say I look exactly like someone they were once very obsessed with, and it grew from there.

SAGE: Who did you go out with first?

ELENA: Stefan… my first true love; but then I fell for the bad boy, who just happened to be his brother. Like I said, not proud, but that’s how it went down.

SAGE: Was it serious?

ELENA: Very. With Stefan I could see my entire future; it was like a fairytale love. With Damon, I lived for the moment and was consumed with passion.

SAGE: Sounds like you were quite in a predicament.

ELENA: I was, for a while; but I ended up choosing Damon.

SAGE: So, what happened? Why did you two split?

ELENA: There were many reasons, but every time I go back to it, I think it’s because we got off to a wrong start. When I became a vampire, I was sired to him… not the best way to start a relationship.

SAGE: Wait, you are a vampire!!? Are you kidding me?!! This story keeps getting better and better!

ELENA: No, no! I’m not one anymore, but I was.

SAGE: Oh, okay, you freaked me out there for a sec! Anyway, then, what happened? Spill!!

ELENA: Well, a whole bunch of crazy stuff... then I took a cure, became human again, only to be put into a three-year sleeping spell, then I woke up. At first it was bliss, but then, once we moved in together our deeper problems began to surface…

SAGE: Did those problems have to do with him falling for one of your best friends?

ELENA: Not expressively… but in part, yes. I knew he was in love with her, and that there was nothing I could do to change that.

SAGE: Ouch, that’s gotta hurt.

ELENA: I mean, he never cheated or anything like that, they didn’t even get together until recently, but just knowing he would never love me like her, hurt for a while… then I met Sam…

SAGE: Wow, that’s quite a story!

ELENA: Straight out of a supernatural YA book, am I right?

SAGE: I’m a big fan of YA drama, and supernatural lure, so, right up my alley! Okay, let me ask you one last question. If you could go back, would you make the same choice?

ELENA: What do you mean?

SAGE: Stefan or Damon? Who would you choose?

ELENA: (Laughs) Uhm, okay, that’s a weird question…

SAGE: Oh, come on, just for fun, and keeping with the YA context.

ELENA: I’d say as a human, I would choose Stefan; as a vampire, Damon. But I guess it wouldn’t matter who I would choose, since they wouldn’t choose me a second time around, that’s for sure.

SAGE: (Teasing) Well, good news for Sam.

ELENA: Okay, I shared my stories; now it’s your turn.

SAGE: Well my stories are quite boring compared to that!

ELENA: Still, spill! It’s only fair, you have leverage on me, I should have some on you.

SAGE: Fair enough. What do you want to know?

ELENA: You and Alex, what’s the story there?

SAGE: Oh god, no! Nothing like that, he’s like a brother to me.

ELENA: Aw, that’s too bad, you two are cute together. How about you and Sam, anything ever happen between you two?

SAGE: This conversation is getting dangerous...

ELENA: Oh, come on, what’s in the past is in the past; there’s nothing dangerous about that.

SAGE: Fine, you asked for it. Long time ago, one crazy drunken night; that’s all.

ELENA: I know, he told me; just wanted to check if you would be honest with me.

SAGE: (Teasing) Now who’s the bitch!

ELENA: Sorry, trust issues. Now, for real, any past epic loves?

SAGE: Uhm, not really… I mean, I’ve had many relationships but nothing serious. I’m not the deep connection type; I just like to have fun, and I don’t like to put in the time, so short and sweet works out perfectly for me.

ELENA: Crazy hookups?

SAGE: Now that is my area of expertise! Wow, where do I start… I’ve done all the clichés, mile high club being my favorite one. But I have to say, the craziest has been with someone you actually know, (mocking) the renowned city Mayor of Mystic Falls.

ELENA: (Spits out her drink) Are you serious? You had a thing with Edward Powell? How do you even know him?!

SAGE: From NYC, our hometown. We were both part of the upper east side elite; a real Gossip Girl type thing. And let me tell you, he might seem like a Nate on the outside, but inside, he is a full-on Chuck Bass. Anyway, we went to this masquerade ball at an exclusive mansion outside the city. Long story short, we ended up covering for a murder which turned out to be anything but that; it was just a really drunk-ass Wall-Street magnate, that passed out in a tub filled with red wine. Good thing he woke up before we finished filling the whole… and that he didn’t see us having sex next to what we thought was his corpse. In our defense, we were also really drunk, and high as fuck.

ELENA: Holy shit! And you call your stories boring? Wonder what the exciting ones are like!

SAGE: (Laughs; then sees that Alex and Sam are heading back to their table) Well, that’s a conversation for another night… this has been fun, but I think our girl time is over; I’m glad we had a chance to talk like this.

ELENA: Me too, and I’m sorry I was so quick to judge you.

SAGE: Dido. Friends?

ELENA: Friends.

Cut to – Akumal, Mexico. Bonnie, Damon, Stefan and Caroline are having a nice beachfront brunch.

CAROLINE: I can’t believe this is our last day! Time went by way too fast!

BONNIE: I know, seems like we just got here.

STEFAN: How about we make a deal, right here, the four of us.

DAMON: (Teasing) Bro, we are not even done with brunch; plus, it would be way too weird…

STEFAN: Of course your mind would go there… Anyway, no, Damon, that’s not what I want to propose. How do you guys feel about spending some money and investing on a property down here? That way we can come back whenever we want.

CAROLINE: I love it, yes!!!!

BONNIE: I’m in!

STEFAN: Damon?

DAMON: Just tell me where to sign!

BONNIE: La Bruja is coming over for dinner tonight, maybe she can give us some tips on property here.

STEFAN: That be great. I’m thinking nothing too fancy, but definitely beachfront.

BONNIE: And secluded.

CAROLINE: 2 master bedrooms, 1 kids room, and two or three guestrooms for when Ty, Lexi, Matt and Alaric come visit.

DAMON: So much for “not too fancy” …

CAROLINE: I’m not saying it needs to be fancy, just spacious, there are way too many of us.

BONNIE: We’ll also need a garden, good footprint area so we can grow our own food.

CAROLINE: And a pool of course, for the girls.

STEFAN: And I think we can all agree, we need a big bar.

DAMON: And a wine cellar.

STEFAN: Maybe we’re gonna have to build it from scratch, I’m pretty sure we won’t be able to find a place that checks all of our boxes.

BONNIE: If we have someone design it for us, I’m pretty sure La Bruja and I can pull it off.

DAMON: It’s settled then, we’ll brief La Bruja over dinner and start to plan our perfect Belvafore hide-away!

STEFAN: Belvafore?

DAMON: Yes; Bennett, Salvatore, and Forbes… Belvafore!

BONNIE: (To Stefan, mocking Damon) I’m telling you, not even with his vamp back on…

CAROLINE: I like it! It’s like Steroline and Bamon!

BONNIE: Steroline and Bamon?

CAROLINE: Yes, Bamon, aka, Bonnie and Damon; isn’t it perfect?! Stefan came up with it.

STEFAN: Sorry, Bon, just a fan.

BONNIE: (Laughing) Oh, Stefan, didn’t see that one coming... And Steroline, is Stefan and Caroline...

CAROLINE: You got it! (With pride) I came up with that one!

BONNIE: (With a y’all crazy look) Okay...

DAMON: Oh, come on, Bon-Bon; Bamon, gotta love it!

BONNIE: Fine, I’ll admit it... y’all crazy but I love it!

CAROLINE: (Holds her mimosa glass up for a cheer) To Belvafore and building new traditions!

ALL: Cheers!

Cut to – The Salvatore school, Alaric’s study. Alaric, and Radka, are trying to figure out their next steps.

ALARIC: How could I have been so reckless and stupid…

RADKA: It was an honest mistake, Ric. How were you supposed to know what would happen?

ALARIC: I know how dangerous that little gadget is, it was my responsibility to keep it under lock and key. Now, thanks to me, Katherine is probably being hunted down by a psychopath.

RADKA: Katherine is strong and witty, if anyone, Kai is the one that needs to worry. I’m sure she’ll be fine; we just need to figure out how to bring her back.

ALARIC: The only one that can help with that is Bonnie, and I’m not letting her go near Kai. We need to figure out a way to do this without the need for Bennett blood.

RADKA: How about 2 werewolves, 2 vampires and a hunter… think we could pull it off?

ALARIC: The problem is not getting in, but out… there’s no way out without the right ingredients.

RADKA: Okay, I might be thinking crazy here, but we need to think outside the box. What if we ask Margo to summon a Bennett witch, she can open a temporary spirit realm and do an incarnation spell so she can be materialized; then, we go to this prison world, get Katherine and use the blood of that Bennett witch to come back…

ALARIC: That sounds insane… but it might actually work. Isn’t Margo still on sick leave?

RADKA: She’s better now, called me up this morning to let me know she’d be back tomorrow.

ALARIC: Do you think she would be up for it?

RADKA: Not sure, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.

Cut to – 2018 prison world, Stefan’s room. Katherine wakes up to find herself tied up with her mouth covered. Kai is sitting on a chair, reading. He looks quite different than expected; very clean cut and intellectual, glasses and all.

KAI: I’m sorry I had to tie you up, but I do not appreciate intruders. God, these new generations have completely lost their manners. Sneaking into other people’s homes, putting on their nightclothes, sleeping in their beds… The audacity!

(Kai gets up, walks towards one of the many jukeboxes he has installed around the house, and plays a song...)

youtube

TVD 9x11 (part 2), coming soon! Hope you stop by, read and enjoy! =)

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comprehensiveowl · 5 years

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A “Murphy’s Law” of a Wedding

Disclosure: This is a rant post. Since the wedding has happened a couple weeks ago, with everything that happened, I just can’t get past all the bullshit. People keep telling me to look past it and appreciate the day for what it is; marrying my best friend. You’ll see how that’s noooooot exactly easy in my case. I should also note that my mental health background is that I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and dissociation disorder, so I actively attend therapy. Over the years, my therapist has recommended putting stuff down on paper or a word document, but I feel like I need to get it off my chest somewhat publicly in hopes maybe it can help someone else (i.g. wedding advice, first-hand mental health advice, just feeling better about yourself because you didn’t get fucked over many times trying to just have one day of happiness, etc). I get that some of this may seem like not even an issue and I need to suck it up, but married/engaged people should get it. Maybe you’ll get a kick out of this, I don’t know.

Now, let’s get into this.

The engagement: My husband was stationed at an Air Force base within the U.S. (I won’t say which, sorry), and I was still living in our home town 5 states away. We had met in high school, and definitely had crushes on each other, but we never officially dated. He literally slid into my Instagram DM’s, which couldn’t have been better timing because I had just left a rough relationship. I was immediately swept off my feet, and he bought me plane tickets for the New Year’s Eve after we started dating. The night I flew in, he made me a lovely steak dinner, took me to bed for our “first time” (if you know what I mean), and proposed in the middle of it with a beautiful silver plated lotus necklace. When I got home, I was so excited to tell my family and friends! I was ready to post all about it on Facebook, face judgement from everyone because we dated for not even a year, but just be happy-go-lucky. I got in my dad’s car at the airport, and he tells me...

“your mom and I are getting a divorce”.... Turns out my dad had left the night before I flew back home to pick up his girlfriend from jail, packed up whatever could fit in his car, and just.. Left. It couldn’t be worse timing, even if we tried. I had to keep the engagement a secret from a lot of people until my husband saved up for a ring, because I just wasn’t comfortable telling my mom I was getting married right when the love of her life was leaving her... When we went public with it a few months later, I got the criticisms that I expected, but overall people were happy for me. I thought, “ok, I can move forward with wedding plans and get excited about this now”. HAHA, nope!

The Bridesmaids: Throughout the wedding planning journey, one year and 4 months after the public engagement, I had a 100% turnover of my 5 bridesmaids and even the Maid of Honor (I’ll talk about them in a different section). I admit, I rushed my decision to make them bridesmaids, and in hindsight, they were TERRIBLE people to be in my party. Don’t rush picking your bridal party for the love of god. One girl assumed herself into the position and didn’t even make it to the wedding. She made every decision difficult for me to make in some way (being stubborn, wanting her way, tried to get other bridesmaids to go against me, etc). One girl I had to remove from my life completely because she stayed at my home for 4 days and shat all over the wedding. She made the wedding miserable to plan because I was being forced to make choices around her, and I still got criticisms as she got her way. One girl refused to talk to me anymore when I quit my job I had with her at the time, then told everyone I was the one who ended the friendship. The fifth girl dropped out of the party due to being uncomfortable standing up in front of people 4 months before the wedding (a whole year passed with 0 communication about this and no chance to convince her it’d be ok and so on). That’d normally be understandable (frustrating, but I understand it), except she then refused to come to the bridal shower, and ultimately, refused to at least show up to the wedding. I ended up having to block her from my life just like the last one mentioned. It was clear she didn’t want to be supportive in any way. In the end, I had 1 maid of honor, and 4 new bridesmaids.

The Maid of Honor: This was the most heart-breaking thing to happen. I like to think I was a laid back bride. I didn’t make any of my bridal party members do anything, I planned my own bridal shower and bachelorette party to take stress off of my maid of honor’s already stressful home-life, I wanted to make things as easy as I could for everyone involved. I planned the entire wedding myself, from budgeting to planning the ceremony to the details of the reception. I was stressed as fuck, and at times I was worried my anxiety was going to take a physical toll on me again (I’ve been hospitalized related to panic attacks and anxiety). Then, 2 months before the wedding, before the bridal shower, and before any other celebrations, my maid of honor drops out. This was someone I grew up with, someone who was there for me when my dad left, someone who stayed up until 4 a.m. on multiple occasions to make sure I was ok when I was having suicidal thoughts. She was the only person I had a special handshake with, we were “420 buddies for life”, and we’ve considered making a blood pact together because they were the closest thing I had to a sibling I could ever want. They left because the position was too stressful... Doing literally nothing was too much for them. A month before this, we went over everything that was going on with them, because they had been very absent in the wedding planning. They told me they were upset that all I’d talk about is wedding stuff and drama... Well, yes, you’re the maid of honor, I will be talking to you about wedding stuff a lot... Because you’re supposed to be my right hand man... And I thought we were close, I could tell you anything... Like that the fuck is that supposed to mean? We talked things through, everything seemed ok. All they had to do was show up to shit, give a Maid of Honor speech (they knew they didn’t have to), and that’s it. But that was too much?? Her mom was supposed to be our florist; she dropped out too, so we had to compromise with fake boutonnieres and bouquets. Her soon to be step dad was going to be our officiant; he dropped out. I thought I was part of her family (went to all the annual events and some birthday parties every year), but in the end, no one wanted to show up to the wedding. I got completely abandoned by the people I thought welcomed me with open arms when I needed it most...

The Officiant: Yes, shit happened with the officiant too. Since the ex-maid of honor’s step dad dropped out of the position, we got a new one. He was a new airman we had over for a Christmas dinner, and we became fast friends. He’s an ordained minister so he offered to wed us. It was going to be this lovely ceremony with a poem, a short story about how we came together, a lot of thought was put into it. What did this fucker decide to do? He missed his damn flight... Hire someone local and spend the money to have that security for fucks sake. How did he miss it? He thought it was a GREAT idea to show up to the airport 45 fucking minutes before the plane takes off, and the check in people basically told him “they just started boarding, there’s no way you’re getting through TSA before they close the gate”. Everyone knows to show up to an airport 2 hours before your flight takes off, and he was mad he wasn’t allowed to go through within an hour of takeoff?? And you know what’s worse? This was the MORNING. OF. THE. WEDDING. My girls and I showed up to the venue to get our hair done without an officiant. We had to scramble to have someone else run the ceremony. And to make things worse, the original officiant idiot that deliberately missed their flight was also in charge of music. So they had all of our songs saved in a text message and they knew our Bluetooth stereo situations. So we had to give a fast run-down to the new officiant, one of the groomsmen, the 3 special songs to play, when, and so on. It was pretty straightforward; one little one speaker downstairs for the ceremony, one big one upstairs with a mic for announcements/toasts.

It. Gets. Worse.

The officiant gets high before the ceremony... He’s a stoner, so we didn’t notice it for the ceremony. The ceremony was the best part of the entire wedding process. It wasn’t until after the ceremony that shit his the fan. He brings the tiny speaker upstairs, completely ignoring the big one, shouts our entrance announcement over everyone talking, which only maybe half of our guests heard, and people barely heard our song. It was just really awkward. He then starts drinking, and getting very out of control. The large speaker and mic was completely forgotten, and he kept forgetting about music. A lot of people left before we could even do toasts and cutting the cake; no one could hear what was going on. Toasts just didn’t happen because there was miscommunication between the wedding party and our officiant; everyone thought the mic wasn’t working, and I had to deal with people being upset they had to write a speech for nothing... It was heartbreaking because it wasn’t our fault... It was a Friday evening wedding, and everyone was gone by 7:30 p.m. because there wasn’t anything keeping them there... After the reception, and cleanup commenced, the officiant got pretty aggressively faded and tried to make everyone drink with him. It was so bad, our bartender, a friend of ours, had to kick him out of the building because he was just making messes and stumbling over himself. He kept getting in my face, uncomfortably close, pressuring me to drink champagne straight from the bottle with him. He got angry no one wanted to drink with him, so, I shit you not, he grabbed a bag of our leftover produce (carrots, celery, seasonings, onions, etc) and stormed off telling people he’s gonna go find a bar to drink at. With this bag. Of fucking veggies. Not even his bag of stuff, just... Our food... We were awake until 3 a.m. getting him safely somewhere to sleep, booking his Uber to the airport, and making sure he makes his flight that takes off at 6 a.m.. We had no special wedding night.

My Dad: Since my dad left, I was forced into a position as my mom’s emotional sponge. There were so many things that I didn’t need to hear as the child in all of this, like the legal shit, arguments, how much of an asshole my dad was, and so on. With that, mixed with feeling abandoned by my dad, I made the decision to have my grandpa (mom’s dad) walk me down the aisle. He never got to with my mom; they had a quick courthouse wedding, and he had a step son, so he never walked anyone down the aisle. I thought it’d not only be fucking cute, but I’d be fulfilling a milestone for him before he passes. Then my dad and I talked and we were cool again. Briefly. I was in a weird position where I couldn’t just take it back, my grandpa was in tears when I asked. It’d break his heart. So I thought I’d have them both walk me down the aisle. Well, drama happened with my birthday and the holidays, so I was on the fence with that idea. When I had my bridal shower, I was visiting my home state for a month before the shower, and he didn’t ever reach out to see me. He saw my “sister” half a dozen times, but whenever I reached out, he was always “busy with work”. I took it as he just didn’t want to see me and preferred my “sister” over me, so I stuck with just my grandpa walking me. Because fuck it. Fast forward to the wedding day; we had a father daughter dance song picked out, I texted him to be ready for it, I thought things were fine. After the ceremony, my photographer took the wedding party out to the park across the street for pictures. We get back, and he and my “sister” are waiting on the porch for us, where he informs me he’s not sticking around and he’s just leaving. I asked if he could at least take pictures with me, and he said no and walked off. In front of everyone... I spent 20 minutes crying in a bathroom, trying to collect myself to face the rest of the evening. My grandpa wasn’t physically able to dance, so, I just didn’t get any father/grandfather-daughter dance. No pictures with my dad. The only picture of him I have from that day is him, sitting in the back of the ceremony room, pouting and looking pissed. We talked later, and he knows he was a selfish asshole for leaving, and he knows he took part in ruining my big day. I know he wanted to walk to me down the aisle, but that’s no reason to just leave behind your kid entirely and with seemingly no remorse. He admitted that he should’ve just sucked it up and stayed there for me, and he regrets leaving because, yea, there’s no photo memory of my dad in our wedding album now. We’re working past it at the time of posting.

My “sister”: When I announced my engagement, I asked (let’s call her Dani) to be our flower girl. We spent several months looking at dresses, even my mom was trying to show her things. Now, Dani and I.. never got along. At all. You could say we’re polar opposite people, except she hates me and even straight up told me “I’m annoyed with your existence”. As much as I tried to hang out with her, make a sister relationship with her, turn things around; it was never enough. She turned everything into some dramatic, horrible experience (i.g. I took her out for smoothies and hot dogs, and things seemed fine. We got back and she cried to our mom saying I kidnapped her, I forced her to get something she didn’t want, and she was miserable. I merely asked if she wanted to go and she said yes, so where the fuck that is coming from I have no idea). I thought maybe having her part of my wedding party could bring us together. Fast forward to right before the bridal shower, it turns out she actually thought I was joking and said fuck no.. SO. We had to make one of the groomsmen our last minute flower “girl”. Dani left with our dad when he left, without a word. She keeps spreading bullshit to my mom, making it look like my dad never remembered us talking about the father daughter dance and that he didn’t want to stay because of our mom being at the wedding, when both were so false. At this moment, she has no place in my life. She is nothing but a ball of negativity, drama, hatred, anger, and, as far as I’m concerned, jealousy.

The Legal Wedding: One year before our wedding with family and friends, I moved in with my husband. In order for me to get health care and for my husbands pay to go up a little, we decided to get legally married. When the day happened, I took one photo of us in the car before we went inside. We confirmed our appointment that morning to have the Chaplain, basically a military priest/priestess who weds people and also doubles as a counselor, sign our papers in the on-base Christian church (we’re not religious, we were just recommended him by people in my husband’s office). We showed up with our two witnesses, found the Chaplain’s office, saw he had a marriage counselling appointment, so we waited outside. For an hour. My phone ended up frying in the summer heat, so we only got the one photo, and I had to buy a new one. We eventually were invited to wait in their cafeteria room while the Chaplain finished his thing. Another Chaplain came along and offered us water and juices from standing outside in the heat for so long. After another half hour of waiting, the Chaplain we made the appointment came in and told us we missed our appointment that was apparently supposed to be 10 minutes before the couples counselling we saw happened (we have email receipts confirming our appointment at 1530/3:30 p.m., and he tried telling us he told my husband 1520/3:20 p.m.). He couldn’t admit he double booked. On top of that, he told us “I don’t know if you believe in bad omens, but this is actually the date my first wife and I filed for divorce hahahaha”.... Um, WHAT? OK COOL THANKS DUDE. I’m not usually a superstitious person, but that was kind of uncalled for... Later, I found out the day we got married is the day my beloved great grandpa, who passed before seeing us get married, was born. So the date we got legally married became special again.

The Food: My husband was in charge of all the food while my girls and I got ready and made sure the reception area was ready to go. We should’ve just invested in some damn catering holy fuck. I texted all the recipes to my husband and his groomsmen, and they still fucked up the recipes. The macaroni was missing milk and butter, so it was very dry and almost a grainy texture. The breadsticks were like long versions of those cheese dip cracker stick things you get as a kid in your lunch boxes. Everything was cold (no one listened to me when I said there needed to be water in the bottom compartment of a chafing dish then the burners had to be ignited to keep food hot), lots of food were left uneaten on plates, and it just left me feeling guilty that we served sub-par stuff to everyone. I’m sure it’s not a big deal at all, like, who remembers the food when thinking back on a party or some celebration? But with all the work and planning put into it, I just feel really bad about it.

Rentals: I would have loved to have rentals. Being out of state, I asked my mom to meet with a rental company on our behalf, and we’d pay for all the deposits and so on. It took her 5 months of me bugging her about it to finally go do it, and every rental company in the area was booked on our date. Which made sense, since the wedding at that point was in 4 months and you need to book that shit at least 6 months in advanced, even 9 months if you’re having a “wedding season” wedding like us. So we had to buy every. Single. Thing. We were left with dozens of plates, glasses, forks/knives, even a handful of chafing dishes. We gave as much away as we could to friends and family who’d need it, then donated the rest. Thank you Dollar Tree for just existing. If we had to order through Amazon, we’d have to spend at least triple for the same thing. It didn’t help half of the guests invited refused to answer messages/RSVPs/phone calls/said they’d come but didn’t/etc, so many many things were left unused. Rentals would have been so fucking nice; one less thing to worry about.

The Cake: Yes, even the fucking CAKE had drama. We ordered a small cake for our cake cutting ceremony, and the rest were cupcakes. My mom felt bad about the rental situation, so she covered the cake order, which was a huge help! We were ready to just bake it ourselves (thank god we didn’t. Fuck. That.). On the day of the wedding, our delivery window was 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.. At 3:45 p.m., an hour and 15 before the ceremony starts, the cake is nowhere to be seen. The manager had to get involved, then the OWNERS had to be contacted. We were told “We’ll be there in 10 minutes”. Bitches almost forgot or something. It came barely on time, and everything tasted and looked good at least. Half our guests left before they could enjoy it, and some took cupcakes before the cake cutting happened (is this normal/ok? We felt like that shouldn’t be ok but we’re not sure lol). We ordered enough for 80 guests and by the time it was dessert time, there were maybe 30 people left. A lot of people left with cupcakes in wine glasses, which turned out to be super suiting (our centerpieces were upside down wine glasses with a candle resting on the base of the glasses).

Advice I’ve taken away that I’ll be giving all of my friends when they get married: 1) Hire people wherever possible. 2) Order rentals for the love of god. 3) Stay on top of the cake people, just in case. 4) Don’t totally rely on friends and family for things. Be prepared to have to do it yourself after all. 5) Take your time picking bridesmaids and a MOH (even though there was no one else I would’ve wanted as my Maid of Honor, the replacement Maid of Honor hooked us up with an amazing photographer who does payment plans, kept me organized and calm whenever possible, and helped set up the sound equipment. It was an upgrade). 6) Limit not only your guests on alcohol intake, but your wedding party too (we did a drink ticket system but let our wedding party drink more because they helped us out a lot on our wedding day. That was a mistake with the officiant/groomsman). 7) I have so many links to websites with wedding stuff for a very low price, which beat Amazon prices in a lot of ways, so I can low-key event plan for people.

TLDR version: The only good things about this wedding was the ceremony, the photographer, and the dessert. Everything else was a pain in the ass to make happen or bullshit to get through. Do I regret doing this? No. I can proudly say I single-handedly planned my own wedding and everything looked great. The photos don’t show any of the pain and frustrations of that day, which is a big plus. However, fuck this entire process. I asked for one day. Just one. And shit went wrong from the engagement all the way through the wedding night. I’d really like to hear some advice to get past this, maybe hear some other people’s stories around your wedding.

I left telling people the only thing that could be worse is if someone fucking died. Thanks for reading if you took the time to do so.

#wedding #wedding nightmare #murphy's law #hell #marriage #story #story time #true story #fuck people #rant #advice

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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885

What Rhymes With “AKE”?

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

1. Does any part of your body ache right now? Not at the moment, but I will say that I’m now sporting several gashes on my arms and fingers thanks to Cooper’s feisty teeth. His grip is a lot firmer now so there’ve been a few times where he was able to grab onto my skin harder than I expected while we played. 2. How do you like your steak? Barely cooked. Blood oozing once I cut into it and all that. 3. Which bone did you last break? I haven’t broken a bone before. 4. How long is your break at work? Back in my internship, we had an hour for lunch and then we were allowed 30 minutes to take a nap. That was awesome to find out, that my boss would give her employees nap time :) The office lights were all turned off and I would even be told off if they caught me working. 5. What did you do over Christmas break? How about spring break? We don’t have spring break. For Christmas I mostly stayed off of social media. Gabie allowed me to open my presents earlier than the 24th because she got me painting stuff and she wanted me to have something to do before Christmas, which is the period where I get most anxious and depressed. Then for Christmas my siblings and I got a Switch from our parents, so most of post-Christmas was spent getting acquainted with it.

6. Do you know anyone named Jake? My fact-checking instructor was a Jake and I absolutely hated his guts. I really don’t like it when a teacher says shit like “I could very much fail you all right now” and says it proudly, and I don’t like how he refused to help and correct us in our articles just because “what [we’re] supposed to do was already covered in a past lecture and [we] should know better.” That’s why we’re enrolled in your class dumbass. We want to learn, but we’re bound to make mistakes too. Anyway, that was four months of pure hell. 7. What’s your favorite thing to bake? I don’t bake a lot but baking cookies has always been nostalgic for me. I love when I get to do it with friends or when my dad allows me to help out in the kitchen. 8. Favorite kind of cake and favorite kind of frosting? Cheesecake. My favorite frosting is either cream cheese or chocolate, especially on my cupcakes.

9. Do you know someone who is fake? Most of the popular girls in my high school were fake but idk, they’ve since seemed genuine in the few times I talked to some of them throughout college. 10. Which lake is closest to you, geographically? Taal. 11. How would you like to make a difference in the world? Ending up the complete opposite of my mom. I just want to prove that some kids don’t always end up the same as the shitty environment they were brought up in. 12. When’s the last time you used a rake? Maybe in high school? We’d have special days where we were assigned to help our janitors and other auxiliary staff ~as a way of saying thanks~ and it’s likely I used a rake at least once. 13. What would you like to take a class in? If I could, I’d take all the history courses that exist. But other than that, I’d love to take a class that covered different countries’ cultures. It was too late when I found out my school has a department that offers classes that taught Japanese, Turkish, Russian, etc. cultures, so that’s a bummer. 14. Have you ever been to a wake before? Yes, a handful. I’ve been to the wake of the relative of my dad’s friend, Sophie, my grandfather...Nacho’s was the most recent. 15. Have you ever used the phrase “for Pete’s sake?!” Maybe once or twice. I’ve gone with its more inappropriate sibling, for fuck’s sake far more often. 16. When’s the last time you felt wide awake? Saturday evening. 17. Do you know how to change the brakes on your car? No. I always forget that you can do that, lol. 18. Do you enjoy listening to Drake? Sure, especially his songs that came out while I was in high school so from 2012-2016. Again, nostalgia just hits differently when it comes to his older songs. 19. When’s the last time you’ve seen snowflakes? Never. 20. Have you ever been called a flake before? I don’t think so, no. 21. When’s the last time you felt your body quake? Two days ago. I walked into the kitchen as my dad was kicking away a ball of dust and I thought it was a rat, so my whole body shuddered and shook lol 22. Favorite type of milkshake? Anything unhealthily sweet. 23. Do you ever try to shake something in order to get it to work again? That’s how I was when I still used TV remotes. I don’t shake things as much anymore. 24. Are you afraid of snakes? Only venomous ones, and ones that can swallow humans alive. I’m not scared of all snakes, in fact I’ve held a few and put them around me in the past. 25. Has your life ever been at stake before? Not that I can recall. 26. Have you ever had to do picture retake at school? I don’t know what this means since we don’t use this exact term, but I’ve needed my college ID re-done TWICE because I also ended up losing my replacement ID haha. In the end, my mom ended up finding my actual original ID just hiding in one of my bags. 27. Are remakes of things better, or the originals? Either have the potential to be better, it’s not black-or-white. Like I’ll always prefer the original 1976 Carrie movie, but I know that the most recent adaptation of Little Women got very good reviews too. 28. Do you call them hotcakes or pancakes? Pancakes. 29. Do you prefer cupcakes or muffins? Cupcakes. 30. What’s the last mistake you made? I shared an article about an update on Naya Rivera but I didn’t notice until after sharing it that it came from TMZ, and we all know how shittily they handed Kobe Bryant’s death. Immediately deleted my post after seeing that no other news outlet had confirmed that it was her body that was found.

Still, the team in charge of finding her in the lake confirmed that it was her a few hours after the TMZ report came out. I’m absolutely gutted. 31. What activity would you like to partake in right now? Any activity that would involve going outside. 32. Have you ever had a teacake before? How about a clambake? I’ve had neither. Clambake looks super appetizing though. It reminds me of a seafood paella that’s served at a local Fil-Mex place I love going to :) 33. What is one of your keepsakes? A Ferrari keychain that JM gave me and our other orgmates as a souvenir from his trip to Singapore to watch the Grand Prix last year. 34. Do you like cornflakes? They’re okay. I’d rather eat them as it is though, and not as a cereal. 35. Have you ever made a fruitcake before? Nope. 36. Do you like strawberry shortcake? How about coffeecake? I’ve had a few slices of coffee cake before. 37. Who’s the last person you gave a handshake to? Probably one of the applicants in our org. 38. Favorite flavor of cheesecake? Oreo! And New York-style. 39. Have you ever felt an earthquake before? Yes. Nothing too extreme though, like no books falling off the shelves or anything like that. They were strong enough for it to be just noticeable.

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