#more importantly a therapist but girl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mahtharula · 11 months

Text

✧･ﾟ— nailtech!connie headcanons

starring: nail tech!connie x black!fem!reader wc: 627 cw: purely fluff 🫶🏾

nailtech!connie was the tech all of the girls wanted to book with. yeah, he knew how to get your hands right, but everyone wanted to book simply to get a closer look of the man. from his dyed buzz cut head that always had a different design every time you came into the shop, to his tall, to the tattoos that decorated his arms and hands perfectly and his eyes. oh his hazel eyes is what gets them.. but most importantly, his nails!

nailtech!connie is both a great listener and conversationalist! Honestly, he should add being a therapist to his qualifications because the amount of advice he has given his clients is insane. most of the time, they complain about their man and his line is, “you too pretty to be dealing with that.” (which have the girls swooning out of their minds).

nailtech!connie who definitely plays music during his appointments. of course, he caters to his clients preference of music and rocks from there, but baby if you give him the aux you will be far from disappointed. his music is so diverse, it ranges from partynextdoor to bossa nova, depending on his mood. his main goal is to make the client comfortable, so when booking with him he has a section where he asks if you want a talkative or silent session.

nailtech!connie who learned to do nails after watching his aunt do it for some time. at first, he only learned to expand his creativity as an artist since he dabbled in many mediums, but once he got the hang of it he was hooked. as he continued perfecting the craft and posting his work, two years and a half later he had enough money to rent out a studio and widen his client intake.

nailtech!connie because of the overwhelming number of clients who began booking with him since the opening, trying to squeeze in new clients was a tricky task. most times, connie would be booked for weeks making it hard to even get a taste of his talent on your nails. so when his homegirl was begging for him to do her best friend's nails, all he had to say was that she was lucky one of his regulars canceled.

nailtech!connie was absolutely floored when you walked into his studio. of course, he catered to many women due to his career, but something about you just had him stuck. from your smooth, dark skin to your locs that ended at the middle of your back, your plump lips that revealed a pearly white, gem decorated smile. you were like a dream personified. As you were explaining your vision for your nails to connie, he was trying his very best to focus but your scent of shea butter and florals was distracting him, “you paying attention, con?” “huh? yeah, yeah, i am!”

nailtech!connie trying to learn everything about you. from your favorite foods to what you do as a career, all of it. when he found out you were a rapper, he only wanted to go harder pulling out some exclusive charms he was saving. something he did love was how despite giving him an idea of what you wanted, you basically gave him freedom to present your idea into his vision, which he absolutely loved.

nailtech!connie who kept refusing to take the full payment and insisted on giving you a discount (because he can). after a few times, you finally convinced him to take the payment, but asked if you could become a regular because his work was so good. it only took a flutter of your lashed extensions for the man to fold, but he only had one rule: don’t cheat on him.

✧･ﾟ— author’s note • hey y’all!! i hope this was good, i’m super proud of it but please give me feedback 🙏🏾. do y’all want more nailtech!connie? do ya’ll want more connie & y/n 😗? let me know and i appreciate y’all, until next time 🖤

tags : @yourrfavzxri , @theemrsjaeger , @hqkalon , @1h3artm3

#✧･ﾟ—mahwrotethis #nailtech!connie #nailtech!connie headcanons #connie x black reader #connie x black y/n #aot x black reader #aot connie #connie imagine #connie fluff

1K notes · View notes

recycledraccoon · 7 days

Text

Senior Year Au

Former Rat Grinders all spend the rest of Junior year and all of summer break in therapy, both individually and as a group. It's a lot of work, but they're coming back together in the aftermath in a healthier more sustainable way. (The empty places among them leave them feeling a mix of complicated emotions.)

Mary Ann still maintains her relationship (???) with Gorgug. (They're not asking many questions because Mary Ann gives few answers.) Lucy is good friends now with The Bad Kids, but Kristen especially. Even Ruben is on decent terms for the most part.

Ivy and Oisin had it much harder. They don't remember everything, but they remember enough to make the weight of it heavy on their shoulders, Oisin especially for the large part he and his magic had played.

Ivy had never been one to blatantly apologize. She's always been a bit catty, though never like that before. Still, before the school year ends she (very politely) asks Mazey for a moment of her time.

Mazey, a much kinder person, agrees and they step aside somewhere a little more private. (For however brief a time it was, Mazey did feel what the rage from that shatter star felt like. It's a large factor in her giving Ivy this chance.)

Ivy, as much as it visibly pained her to say the actual word sorry initially, does genuinely apologize. She's blut about it, and doesn't shy away in the least from the acknowledgement of how fucked up the things she said were.

They talk for a bit, and while it's hard to imagine they may ever be friends, both girls leave the conversation feeling closure on the topic.

Mazey ends up talking to Fabian about it, so of course the Bad Kids know.

Oisin talks briefly with Fabian Seacaster one day, extending an apology for the damages to him home, and passes along information so Oisin can ensure financial compensation is had.

The apology to Fabian is appreciated, but talking about it later the Bad Kids hone in on the fact that Oisin hasn't spoken to Adaine even once, to apologize for the taunt he's sent her or for-

Adaine abruptly says she doesn't want to talk about it, and ignores the fact that he exists entirely.

Oisin doesn't talk to them once the rest of Junior Year, even tho the rest of his team does. The Bad Kids think him a coward, and while Oisin would agree with them, the Rat Grinders look at each other with tight lips.

Oisin struggles greatly with his actions. He had been, essentially, Kipperlily's right hand. His magic had allowed Kipperlily access into, and away from, the Bad Kids Last Stand where she had killed Buddy. (They do not know where he is, but they've sworn to each other to find him.) His magic had laid the trap in Seacaster Manor, his summoning calling the Nightmare King Storm and his relatives who swarmed a house-boat filled with innocents.

Jawbone does help them get an actual accredited therapist, which is something Oisin feels great relief about, as it makes it easier to talk about some aspects of his time under the shatter-star.

Like the fact that prior to all this, he did have a very genuine crush on Adaine Abernant.

How couldn't he? She was beautiful yes, stunningly so, but more importantly she was smarter than a whip and a phenomenal wizard, unafraid to get her hands dirty. Even as short, scrawny dragonborn with glasses that felt too big for his snout at the time, he'd held the girl in very high esteem.

Oh he'd never ever dare to talk to her, for all that his friends may have once tried to encourage it during freshman year. He'd known even then that the elven girl was far out of his league.

While he wasn't a true dragon, Oisin's family had strong blood ties still, and the bleed over was still strong. Strength was important to them, and fighting the other was the first step in courtships between Dragons for a large variety of reasons. He'd been so scrawny, and a untested young wizard to boot, that he couldn't fathom ever being strong enough to match up to a girl like her. He's certainly endured enough scrutiny for his lack of battle prowess at home.

So no, Oisin hadn't thought that he would ever be a good match for such a girl, but he could hoard tender feelings about her in his chest, and nobody could do or say anything about it. At most he would endure some playful teasing at the time but he'd always reassure his friends it was alright.

"Not every unrequited love is bitter." Oisin told them once, smiling softly as he pulled his eyes away from where Adaine was walking to join her friends for lunch further out in the quad. "Statistically, high school romances don't work out. This is just...an equation that doesn't result in a positive answer. No use being angry at the numbers, the math won't change." He says.

Lucy had frowned, "Life isn't a math question Oisin."

"Yes it is," Oisin's responded, "it's just one of the unsolvable ones." His grin turned into a yelp when Ivy had dragged him down to try to noogie him, and they had all laughed and left the topic alone.

When he had first been raged out, he hadn't felt bitter. He felt strong and powerful and didn't need the distractions. But when Adaine had spotted him at the party to talk, after he'd grown tall and bulked out from the hours pumping iron to burn off the excess anger-

She only noticed him when he'd already been on his way to hell. That's when he started feeling bitter.

Oisin has so many complicated emotions and guilts eating away at him. He desperately wants to apologize to Adaine Abernant, to lay his heart bare so she may deliver his due judgement and strike true.

But more than anything, he needs to sort himself out first. He would not risk apologizing, not when his heart still ached, not when anyone could possibly notice and decide his apology was motivated by selfish wants instead of true remorse.

So Oisin does not speak to any of them the rest of that year or over the summer, even as the others will tag along with Lucy and Mary Ann sometimes to join the Bad Kids for an afternoon. He goes to therapy, reads self books, and painstakingly does his best to bleed the love for Adaine Abernant out of his heart. He knew the statistics when he fell in love, he'd have to do this one day or another.

Finally, first day of Senior Year, Oisin follows his party to where the remaining Bad Kids are.

He's spotted immediately, he knows because Riz Gukgak goes tense and starts furiously whispering, the Bad Kids exchange hushed words Oisin is too far to hear, but Adaine Abernant meets his gaze for a long moment.

Then she turns and leaves.

Oisin isn't surprised, but he does watch her leave for perhaps longer than he should have, before quickening his steps to catch up with the others.

The Bad Kids, as alright as they are with the others, glare at Oisin. Ivy beside him is tense, but bumping his tail against the back of her calves is his way of telling her this is alright.

He gives brief apologies, for the storm and those of his family who had attacked them all on his request.

Then, he quietly asks them to pass on a message to Adaine.

"I would like to apologize to her but-" He clears his throat under the pressure of the glares he's receiving. "If she doesn't want to hear it I understand completely."

Oisin doesn't give much time for a response, dipping his head and giving a quick goodbye as he prepared to go find his locker before classes.

"Oisin-" Lucy calls as he starts stepping away from the group.

"It's alright," Oisin murmers, thinking back to a warm fall day in the quad during freshman year. "I already knew the outcome of this equation."

"Life's not a fucking math problem, love." Ivy says, arms crossed defensively. Nobody else talks, and Oisin can feel the glares of the Bad Kids burning into his scales.

"Yes it is," he reminds them. "It's just a messy, unsolvable one." Oisin's smile is soft and tired. It is the smile of a man who's been resigned to his fate his whole life.

He'd always knew he'd never been or would ever be worth even a moment of the beautiful, amazing Elven Oracle's time.

He'd run the math, and it was no use being mad at numbers that wouldn't change.

Oisin turned and left.

#inkblade #adaine x oisin #adaine abernant #oisin hakinvar #poor boy has a long journey ahead of him #i do think he'll get to apologize one day but its a far longer road until the day he realizes he might have been wrong in his calculations #cause his unrequited love isn't a lost cause just yet #the bad kids have MANY questions but also dont want the dragon boy anywhere near adaine #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fhjy spoilers

177 notes · View notes

rosemaeridream · 2 months

Note

how abt jealous lecturer!aeri and she gets lowkey possessive n shit ouuuu PLS I BEG OF U i need ur thoughts on this

how come you guys love jealousy?? do you want me to recommend you a therapist or..? before you dated, lecturer!aeri was about to sweep you to the side to talk to you once again, she just can't stop herself, you're too pretty with your hair slightly messy from waking up 20 minutes before her lecture - but she can't because you've just seen someone from one of your clubs, and they're approaching you too quickly for her to intervene. So she just stands there, looking over her lecture notes, watching the two of you interact.

The girl is an upperclassman, she knows that at least, someone who's been milling around the university for a couple years now, and someone who she hates around you. It's always too much, she smiles too brightly and she's too talkative and most importantly, she's age appropriate for you – and that pisses aeri off. her mouth moves before her mind does and she's telling the both of you to get out of the lecture theatre so that the next lecturer can set up in peace. her tone is too stern and too vindictive that you scuttle from your spot without a word, head down and a pit of shame bubbling in your stomach.

it's not like she doesn't make it up, i suppose, in her own way though. meaning she finds you in your usual studying spot and wordlessly hands you a coffee and a packet of biscoff biscuits to munch on while you study.

after you kiss, she's more secure with herself. aeri's just waiting for you to make a move, or at least an increment of a move to let her take the lead on-wards. sometimes when you work together and your phone pings! a message, you reach for it out of habit - doesn't matter that you're meant to be studying. there's approximately a three second time period after you open your phone and aeri recognises the name, still that same fucking girl, and when she gently pries the phone from your hands, putting it out of reach on the other side of her with a short, "you're meant to be writing, sweetheart." it immediately kicks you back into gear, not without a pink tinge to your cheeks and the avoidance of eye contact for the next 5 minutes.

when you start to date, aeri gets simultaneously better and worse. most of the time she's fine with you talking to other pretty women - but sometimes, usually when someone else is overtly flirting with you in her line of sight she pulls you out of the situation as soon as no one else would notice to roughly kiss you in the closest storeroom, her nails marking your stomach with red lines. most of the time you give in, letting her unbutton your pants or lift your skirt so she can feel your stretched hole clench around her fingers. you have to hold back mews of pleasure, burying your teeth deep into your lip as you lean your weight on her. it's always complimented by "that's it, princess. who's pussy is this?", gravelly in your ear, followed by a sharp slap on your ass if you don't answer quickly enough - which, to be honest, is most of the time since she's fucking you so well it gets way too hard to think about anything other than chasing that high.

very, very occasionally – perhaps when she thinks you're flirting back – aeri will voice her innermost desires. she's got you pinned to the bed, sliding a strap between your folds but never fully giving you what you want. like you, she's blind to anything but pleasure and making sure you know you're hers. you whine for her to put it in, but all she does is mumble thoughts aloud. "wanna knock you up. make sure you're mine." that makes you just as crazy as her. your relationship is mostly hidden after all it'd get both of you into trouble and it risks aeri's academic integrity, but god, the thought of being hers in that way almost makes you finish untouched.

after it all, you'd talk. you like aeri, a lot, and you want to put in every ounce of effort possible to keep the relationship healthy, so it's only natural to talk. it's obvious that she's at least partially insecure about the secrecy of your relationship. (it helps, but it doesn't stop her from jealous fuckery. not that you'd want that to stop anyway.)

love lec!aeri she's my wife 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 (i have NOT proofread sorry for mistakes)

#!! dreamy’s unboxing #lec!aeri #aespa smut #giselle smut #aeri smut #!! dreamy’s pieces

112 notes · View notes

bcolfanfic · 2 months

Note

Mollie I’m in desperate need of Curt HC’s from the young vet au!!! If you want!! Please don’t let me annoy you about it!!! <3

these are dedicated to @johnslittlespoon bc i associate curt with them <3

most importantly, he ain’t dead! this is an AU and i make the rules, yay

still from new york, still a little crazy

this is in the 21st century and post don’t ask don’t tell being abolished. but people are still people and a handful still give bucky and gale shit when they pick up on their relationship. curt is protective of them and gets into more than one yelling match and/or brawl coming to their defense

puts himself in charge of making the hype up playlists for the field and takes it super seriously. doesn’t take requests either, everyone just has to trust his judgment.

when he gets his leg blown off by a land mine and goes home he says they aren’t allowed to let anyone else make the playlists, he’ll keep doing it from the states.

but before he leaves when he’s still in the hospital in bagram he gets in his head about how he wasn’t doing anything “noble” when he got hurt and was just in the wrong place at the wrong time

bucky tells him that doesn’t mean anything- that his being here at all was noble and nothing can take that away.

curt says he doesn’t know about that, and sees bucky’s face shift.

they change the topic.

the guys are all bummed to see him go home but bucky is *crushed*. gale sits up with him the first couple nights he’s gone and rubs his back while he cries. he just really misses his buddy 💔

when curt gets back to the states he gets a service dog that’s the most spoiled dog on earth. that’s his baby and he names it some goofy human name like tony soprano.

he keeps in touch with everyone while they’re still over seas. but the first people he sees when they’re back stateside are gale and bucky- flying out to visit once they’re settled in wyoming.

he knew bucky wasn’t doing great, but actually seeing how bad he’s doing in the flesh makes his gut twist. especially when he brushes it off. especially when he can see it in gale’s eyes how worried and exhausted he is.

it comes to a head one night when bucky and gale get into argument and bucky goes from 0-100 in about 60 seconds. curt steps in to intervene, tells bucky to come outside with him and smoke to cool off.

bucky tells him to fuck off and mind his business.

“we don’t need a couples therapist, get the fuck outta’ my god damn house.”

“yeah no can do bucky. not letting you talk to gale like this, or me. get outside. now.”

but bucky is stubborn and just doesn’t move. gale looks near tears and before curt can think better of it he smacks bucky upside the head.

“look at what you’re doing to him- you think this shit is cute? when’s the last time he raised his voice at you off the cuff?”

gale tells him to stop, even if he does appreciate someone else trying to get through to him.

tells him to stop because he knows what’s coming when he sees bucky’s bottom lip shake.

bucky bursts into tears and presses his hands into his eyes- mumbling about being too fucked up for all of this as his chest heaves.

“i got my shit too man, come on, let’s go outside.”

bucky follows him this time and they sit out there for 2 hours talking about the war and the government and PTSD and the VA’s office.

which is apparently just as incompetent in new york.

but bucky can’t help but laugh at one of curt’s gripes with them being that his insurance would cover an a-typical prosthetic, not a peg leg from some guy that manufactures them in his garage upstate.

he needed that laugh.

“i put gale through too much. feel like he regrets getting a marriage certificate the second we came back. not settlin’ down with some girl. not like he’d have a hard time getting one.”

“hey- no way. he loves you. wouldn’t be so bent up seeing you hurting if he didn’t. if he wanted out- he wouldn’t be here. you’re the self destructor, all respect. not buck.”

bucky taps his cig in the ash tray on the patio table.

“when you’d get so smart?”

“gotta compensate for havin’ one less leg with something.”

#young vets au #buck x bucky #clegan #curt biddick #curtis biddick #masters of the air

67 notes · View notes

spop-romanticizes-abuse · 4 days

Note

I recently read a fic about a f/f ship, where one of the girls (similarly to Adora) always puts others' needs and wants above her own for years, which, by the time the fic takes place, makes it difficult for her to accept even the most basic nice gestures, like someone asking how she's feeling, and makes her repress her 'selfish' feelings hard, to the point of making her feel like she doesn't deserve love.

Except her love interest actually takes notice of this when they befriend each other, steadily does her best to discourage this behavior (without assuming the role of a therapist and) by both being caring and putting her foot down when neccessary, and, most importantly, she specifically avoids putting her own romantic feelings over her crush's emotional well-being.

From the looks of it, writers of SPOP were trying to do something similar with Adora and Catra in season 5. Except it doesn't work IN THE SLIGHTEST, because: 1) Catra conciously contributed to Adora's savior complex 2) Catra repeatedly puts her feelings over Adora's physical and emotional well-being (whether they are enemies or not).

The implication that Catra is the right person for Adora, because she's the only one who views Adora as a person with her own feelings and wishes, doesn't work, WHEN THE TEXT LITERALLY TELLS US OTHERWISE.

yeah, there are a lot of ships where they handle the whole "falling in love with a hero" trope really well.

another example i can think of is steven and connie from steven universe. connie is actually the only person who doesn't compare steven to his mom or put him on a pedestal. (apart the cool kids, but they weren't that close to steven, unfortunately. i would have liked to see more interactions between them and steven honestly).

and this is actually shown multiple times in the show where she protects steven from danger and comforts him when he needs it. she gets upset when steven sacrifices himself to the diamonds because she sees him as a normal vulnerable child who isn't supposed to be handling all of the universe's issues by himself. (and this is actually effective unlike catra's whole "adora chose shadow weaver over me!" but somehow connie got more hate for it than catra).

connie is honestly the only sense of normalcy that steven has in his life (since even greg tends to mention rose a lot). in this instance, it's accurate to say that connie is the only person who sees steven as a person, and not as a hero. because it's actually true and the narrative shows it time and time again.

catra and adora however. yikes. literally every other person in adora's life treated her better than catra did. even the other princesses, who weren't that close to adora, still had moments where they supported and comforted her.

and yet we're supposed to believe that the person who constantly put adora down, berated her, abused her, controlled her and almost killed her.. is the person who cares about her the most. and the most baffling part of this is that 90% of the fandom believes it.

#ask #spop critical #spop salt #spop #spop discourse #spop criticism #she ra #anti spop #anti catradora #anti c//a #anticatradora #steven universe

29 notes · View notes

jayflrt · 2 years

Text

𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐆𝐔𝐄 50. epilogue

JUNGWON’S HEART WAS POUNDING.

He swiftly evaded the arrows hurtling in his direction as he ran through the dense forest. He could hear the taunting laughter of his pursuer getting closer. The sound was almost overwhelming, nearly drowning out the sound of his blood rushing in his ears. Jungwon had hope, though; if he could just get past the—

At that moment, the screen faded out with the message: You died!

“Aw,” you cooed in that sugary voice of yours, “you were so close, Won.”

Jungwon’s cheeks darkened. “Shut up, Y/N.”

“And, there you have it, guys,” you announced to your Twitch audience that was currently totaling 44,507 users, “Y/N kicks Jungwon’s again.”

Life went back to normal after Jungwon and his friends had their little mishap in the Paris Catacombs. Sure, he needed to see a therapist for a while, but at least he was better off than Jay, who was currently weighing the pros and cons of having a Satan worshiping girlfriend. Jungwon couldn’t see how there were any pros to this list, but he supposed it didn’t matter as long as Jay was happy.

That, and his YouTube video: I Cuffed a Hot Satan Worshiper?! (NOT CLICKBAIT) hit a million views. It was a win for Diamond League’s joint channel.

Sunghoon and Jake were still as ambiguously in love as ever. Although, it so happened that Jake was the one being more forward than Sunghoon lately. He was apparently enjoying how easy it was to get Sunghoon flustered over the little things. Sunoo and Riki were still roommates, though they bought a bigger house to live in so that they could flaunt their new wealth. However, Sunoo had begun complaining about Riki’s dodginess when it came to chores.

Heeseung was the same as ever. His mother profusely apologized for not being able to pick him up from the Paris Catacombs, so he was spoiled more than ever. However, he ended up moving out to his own place, saying that he needed to be alone when “all his side chicks came over.” Jay later confirmed that he was, in fact, playing video games all day.

As for Jungwon and you, there was a lot of rekindling that needed to be done. Jungwon spent months making up for his lack of communication, and that forged a stronger flame between you two. He was satisfied that you two were finally at a comfortable point in your relationship, and that you were able to get past Jungwon milly rocking to Shostakovich. (You had, in fact, started milly rocking with him.) Post-catacombs Jungwon became a whore for classical music.

Joining college, though, had started a new feud between you and Jungwon. Albeit lighthearted, Jungwon still found it cute when you were aggravated.

When you two said your goodbyes and ended the stream, you pouted. “Someone called you their boyfriend on the stream.”

He bit back a smile. “Yeah?”

Jungwon was completely oblivious to his popularity until college started. He always thought his fans saw him more as comedic relief, but apparently being a loser translated into “boyfriend material.” It was quite shocking how much attention he got from girls now.

You, on the other hand, were not happy with this. Although you were getting used to the idea, it was still strange that your boyfriend got so much attention. Jungwon tried extra hard to make you feel more secure because of that.

He opened his arms for you to crawl into his lap when you went in for a hug. You buried your face in Jungwon’s chest to avoid looking him in the face.

“You’re my spring chicken,” you muttered. “I procured you.”

As always, you had a way with words.

“I’m your spring chicken,” he agreed, although he had no idea what the fuck that meant. “You procured me.”

It was 11:56 P.M. and the moonlight was illuminating your features. Jungwon wanted to turn the lights on, but that meant pushing you off of him, which he didn’t want to do.

More importantly, there were four minutes left until your birthday.

You were insistent on not going live or making a video for your birthday, which Jungwon completely understood. He wanted to spend the day with you, away from all the cameras and social media. Considering you were Jungwon’s first girlfriend, he was racking his brain over how he wanted to make your day special. He heard around the grapevine (read: Nishimura Riki), though, that you wanted something discreet and thoughtful. You weren’t one for glamorization.

“Are you excited?” Jungwon asked.

You shook your head. “I don’t wanna be old.”

Jungwon snorted and pressed a kiss to your forehead before reminding, “Two minutes.”

“I’m gonna blow up your base,” you threatened.

“Chill.”

But Jungwon knew that you were anticipating the clock striking midnight. He could see it in the way you kept peeking at his phone, the way you stiffened up when there were hardly seconds left until the hand reached twelve.

And when it did, your breath stilled.

“Happy birthday, Y/N,” Jungwon murmured with a smile.

You grinned up at him. “Thanks.” Your expression morphed into one of shock when your boyfriend reached over the arm of the couch to pull out a bouquet of pink flowers. He handed it to you, and your eyes widened. “What’s this?”

“Peonies,” he answered, and you had to narrow your eyes at him for him to elaborate, “I thought they were pretty, and peonies symbolize good fortune, too.”

“You think I’m good fortune?”

“Not really. You kind of have shit luck.”

“Hey!” you exclaimed, though there was a hint of a smile curling at your lips.

“But,” he continued, “you’re my good fortune.”

You sniffled once. It was endearing until you continued sniffling, wiping your eyes as tears started streaming down your cheeks. Jungwon smiled and tried to wipe them away with his thumb. You were just too cute in his eyes.

“Don’t tell me you’re getting emotional already,” he cooed. “This is only the beginning of what I had planned for your birthday.”

You blinked away the tears that welled up and gestured to the flowers. “I’m allergic.”

Oh.

Jungwon knew that. On your third or fourth date, he took you to the Conservatory of Flowers because he thought you would be amazed by the beauty. Instead, you had a sneezing fit and could hardly see anything because your eyes were far too watery.

“It’s so pretty, though,” you tried to say, mustering up the energy to hold the flowers up and smell them. Your voice broke when you tried to hold in your sniffles. “W-wow, so nice.”

Jungwon laughed and took the bouquet from you, setting it aside. He cupped your cheeks and wiped your tears properly.

Just like that, he leaned in slowly, leaving you frozen on the spot. Even though he was initiating such an intimate moment, Jungwon felt like he could hardly breathe. He opened his eyes to look at you before your lips met. His nose barely brushed yours, and he looked a touch bashful with red tinting his ears.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

You nodded, and Jungwon sealed his lips over yours. Your lips felt like slow, heart-tugging music that made his brain turn to mush. He was sure that you could pick up on how Jungwon had been waiting to do this for the longest time.

Jungwon didn’t believe in soulmates. He thought that each soul was unique to the individual, that no one needed another soul to complete them. With his hand intertwined with yours, however, he agreed that you two fit together. Souls could never match, but it was clear that yours and Jungwon’s filled out each other’s spaces.

There was nothing anymore. It was just you and Yang Jungwon.

“Ew,” a voice called from the hallway. “Get a room, you two.”

And Lee Heeseung, apparently.

“This is my house!” Jungwon exclaimed.

You stared blankly at Heeseung before looking back at Jungwon. “What’s he doing here?”

“Well, he was supposed to bring out the cake,” Jungwon grumbled. “I don’t know why he’s just standing around.”

“We didn’t know how to turn on the lighter,” Heeseung explained, “so Jay’s still working on it in the kitchen.”

“Wait,” you interjected, stopping him with one hand. “You guys were here the entire time?!”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

You turned to your boyfriend and whined, “Jungwon!”

“It was a surprise!” he defended.

“Happy birthday to you,” Jay started singing, and then the rest of Diamond League joined in at an awkward interval. All of their voices were at different pitches, making the whole song sound off. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Y/N, happy birthday to you!”

To Jungwon’s delight, you seemed to get over the fact that Heeseung witnessed your private moment once you saw the cake they made for you. You scooted off Jungwon’s lap to sit in front of the coffee table as Jay set the cake in front of you.

“Blow out the candles,” Sunghoon encouraged, “or I’ll blow—”

“Sunghoon,” Jake warned. He reached over and ruffled your hair, making you snicker. “Happy birthday, Y/N.”

Sunoo cupped his hand behind the flame of the candle so that you could blow it out, and everyone clapped for you as soon as the flame went out.

(“Blow game weak,” Riki coughed out and promptly got punched in the shoulder by you.)

“What’d you wish for?” Jay asked.

“I can’t tell,” you replied, “or it won’t come true.”

But Jungwon sort of already knew what you wished for because he was thinking the same thing.

With the way your eyes were shining as you looked up at him and all your friends, it was clear as day that you wanted this moment—this friendship—to last forever. Jungwon couldn’t agree more; there was nothing he wanted more than these precious moments with his best friends to continue.

He had no doubt that they would last forever.

(Spoiler: They did.)

END.

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ EPILOGUE SOOOO OVERDUE but it’s here !!! thank you for sticking around for this ending and thank you so much for reading diamond league <33 it’s so dear to me and i’m really glad you guys liked it :’) all the asks and comments i’ve gotten about it have always brightened my day so thank you for all the love! s/o to everyone who asked to be part of the tag list, it meant so much to me !! i hope you guys enjoyed this ride as much as i did & jungwon lesbian ♡

SUMMARY ▸ in which lee heeseung creates a minecraft server for his friends and all sorts of chaos ensues, including the budding romance between you and yang jungwon.

prev | masterlist

TAG LIST ▸ @mmsriza @changmin-wrlds @13isacoolnumber @from-xero @svnglvs @acciomylove @sakuracoffe @nyujjan @goldenhypen @bbanggami @honeyju @lvsunq @notmangojuice @luvrjn @cb97curls @ac-ewow @ily-cuz-i @jakeyuni @soobisms @rikibae @catsmenu @soobin-chois @sjyuniverse @beomsun @xiaosimp3 @ifwtyun @outrologist @kyukittie @nabinthegardnn @msxflower @fiantomartell @baekhyunstruly @mykalon @heelariously @hobistigma @wntrsgf @person-standing @ja4hyvn @dnyamight @candidupped @shmooooo @pr0dbeomgyu @heeyunkist @sunshine-skz @hiqhkey @kp0p10v3r2 @nyfwyeonjun @strwberrydinosaur @duolingofanaccount @cherries0325 @yizhoutv @ihrtwon @enhacolor @w0nkii @shoyotime @soobinscutedimples @c9tnoos @annoyingbitch83 @lil-iva @kimbabikidding561 @echantedrose @hwasatiny @omgjwon @tulips4u @rionah @rrvvby @magssu @jaeyunverse @yeonjunsleftboob @gyuza @tsukkisboo @cyuuupid @axolotlboo @luvibot @bigtittietoji @lovnayeon @jwsflower @wonzzz @caty-catts @tlnyjoong @ashxsmoon @yangrdn @seuomo @simjakeissohot @yogurteume @bigtoewinwin @deezarenotmynutz @meowtella @cosmiseo @woncafe @y4ngjungw0nz @fairybangtan @yutameow @uwudaizy @arizejkt19 @thisisnotjacinta @fylithia @ferxanda @viagumi @11-15pm @sephys49 @chirokookie @itsjynop @nikipedia07 @mxnuilx97 @firstjake @lhskokoro @stayriki @j4y-lvr @exatse @softpia @bolliwon @icywhatim @iwuvjay @planethyuka @taegicarus @luvryuj1n @ssuunnoo @kimbabikidding561 @hoonieswrld @yurazuyori @mierumiko @fluerwonie @nikirikii @soobin-g @mklhyvn @mintbgyu @euphorecore @jaeyunnsworld @gfksn @i4cho @bearbeom @fallingforya @hoonslatte @scoups-of-sugar @heelover5 @iamsimplyasimp @notrosemary @swnheo @vantxx95 @quietly-scrolling-through @ilvaussie @02sjy @wn1ven @escapenightmare @soobins-gf @prince-mingki @queer-blue-fairy @kpoplover718 @miridicallyyours @yeonjunszn @qolaroidlove @hopesandlegacy @twintke @harperwasstaken1 @love-4-keum @leeis @jaemsluvr @xansday @ae3ther @bunhoons @reina-osseus @junqwonni @flower-lise @tenten-67 @i-yeseo @mintydayeon @tiinytete @yanniediaries @lokideadontheinside @txtkids @missmorosis @shinsou-rii @wtfhyuck @luv4vernon @cwsana @simplyxlea @nicelicious @kaeslily @y3jiishot @alderiasamantha @4vonly @strwbrrywnzzn @catuumi @ktttwwn @notminniie @mellifluousvn @starrynoche @jayeonnature @flower-lise @wonkinoo @3ggieyolk @yjwnoot @hrtattcker @hwalllllllelujah @02zluvbot @20percent-attendance @gardeniki @silenterosion @wonberries @baekhyuns-lipchain @moasworld @bibinnieposts @jkmonica @notdrunkbutdazed @geniejunn @myspasedu @fullleecapable @luvvjaemin @svtglitch @lil-iva @heesunki @calumsfringe @otchae @alex-is-sleeping @hyeunfae @dwcljh @wonkiluvr @wonhrs @peachenle @yeotree @yvesismywife @woniesbakery @sultrybaby @y4wnzki @pieces-of-tomorrow @fariylixie0915 @pretty-wonie @tobiosbbyghorl @maeumiluv @yangbreads @bbakuhoee @ohdudehesflirting @kimmchijjajang @cutiedoyoung @blxckcatner0 @shigamiryuk @o-schist @boowoowho @prettysung @skyvwonie @only2jake @aquapink14 @viagumi @teawithbucky @beomgyu-is-emo @mingiandbaconjam @nomniki @remiee @iloveoceaneyes @smuchsmut @ahnneyong @rubyhoons @maybee-may @dasa3040 @meiiiwa @childesbbyy @yer1sdi4ry @flower-lise @eulaenthusiast @jakahbot @crispy-chan @whorecomplx @dreamenvi @kkalechip @wonhrs @lumixen @glamchan @soobsdior @ineedaherosavemeenow @jagyuuar @kange3939 @jjongsha

CAN’T TAG ▸ @iconjaeyun @maknaechu @variwrites @wonjpg @drunkanddazedalways @jaemcaffe @chaersly @hwasooyoungie @bbangiez @leemione26 @saturn-navaeh @jennie-dazed @rikiinish @ikangeee @l0st1nserenity @nomurahayami @zigzag1166

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen smau #enhypen fluff #jungwon fluff #jungwon smau #jungwon imagines #yang jungwon #enhypen social media au #jungwon x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #the end <3 thank you for everything

334 notes · View notes

befemininenow · 11 months

Text

Deconstructing the sissy in you (part 1)

Note: This note contains a lot of sissy captions from blogs that no longer exist. This isn’t meant for sissies who are still into the “lifestyle”; everyone has their thing. It’s for those who wish to distance themselves from something that does not correlate with their femininity, but has trouble shaking away their past. Being feminine is something rewarding and should never be humiliating. It’s part of who we are as people. However, take this note with a grain of salt. If you need real help, please consult an actual therapist in your area who is specialized in gender identity.

You ask yourself in tears “How did this all started? What can I do to go back?” as you’re viewing yourself in the mirror all dressed up in pink and frills, blonde wig, heavy makeup, and a cast down there. Your desire was to look as feminine as possible, not some kind of doll that others would poke fun at and admire. You know in your mind you’re a girl, a trans girl. But out of fear of being ostracized by everyone, you wish you can go back, burn every trace of the “sissy lifestyle” you were lured into, and come out to the world as a vanilla trans girl. Well, I’m here to tell you the truth: You can’t go back (theoretically speaking). However, there is a way for you to freshly start over again (realistically speaking). And it all starts by jogging your memory to the beginning.

You always had a thing for “feminization”, which is the process of incorporating feminine aspects towards any person regardless of identity. For a while, you enjoyed viewing others submit to “forced feminization” through transformation sequences because of a sense of dominance. It wasn’t until you realized that you deeply wanted to be like the “victims” and started to visualize yourself as a girl.

You secretly had feminine characteristics that you tried to oppress to avoid being called names. You know the ones: “sissy”, “f@ggit”, “wimp”, “pussy”, “girl”. That last word is what you hated being called, yet you did “manly” activities to prove your maleness. Outside, they saw you as a potential alpha. But inside, you were somebody else.

The MTF transformations in your feed weren’t enough anymore and suddenly you wanted something a little more real. Shortly later, you found out about trans women models and actresses in the underground scene and it threw you off at first. “They exist? I thought they were just fiction?”. Then, you started looking at MTF timelines, articles about trans people, and even a few videos about the transitioning process, including surgeries. It feels intense and scary; you don’t know if you want this. How painful would it be to give up “down there” for a rack “up there”? “Is there any alternative safer than that?”

Then, out of nowhere on your social feed, you see this image:

It resonates with you! That’s who you wish to be inside! She’s hot, and a dream babe! But more importantly, you wish to have a body like hers!

You click on the link and wonder where this image came from and you realize you’re in a blog full of “feminization captions”. You’ve always been a fan of TG captions and are open-minded for anything new. All of a sudden, you find another caption you like:

OMG! Another hot chick! “But why do I feel like I want to be her instead?” You look at the caption folder and they seem intriguing. Eventually, you found your answer:

“Feminization? I need that now!” You sent a DM to the caption blog’s inbox and asked how the “feminization process” works. The person behinds it send you this picture:

You thank the person so much and ask if they are this person or if they know them. Although their blog doesn’t exist anymore, they ask you to find a “mistress” who specializes in feminization. It took you a while, but you eventually found a sympathetic one and not too long after, the process slowly began.

At first, they’re quite innocent and truthful. You are a guy after all.

Then, they became a little more deep.

A little too deep...

Soon, they started to make you think deeper...

They’re right. Trying heels isn’t “gay”, nor is trying on her set.

Soon, your dreams became more “feminine” after several hypnos, captions, and training.

In a matter of time, your desires started to change...

“Wait, that’s not true! Or, maybe it is now, idk.”

“Sissy!? Ok, I need to stop this now. I am not a sissy!”

“Well, I do like being a girl, but I’m not sure about being called a sissy...”

“Umm.. mmm....”

Your sexuality started to shift. Men were suddenly so hot...

You never thought yourself with a guy, but then you started dating them, pleasing them, getting rammed by them, daydreaming of them. Your attraction to girls eroded as time went by.

But something has also been in your mind as you went deep into the “sissy lifestyle” these mistresses and besties encouraged you be part of. Something that resonates more with who you really want to be. Something more serious and life-changing:

You realize all what you have did was more of a distraction and less of what you deem “feminization”. Sure, the pleasure was great. The makeovers were amazing. The name callings were quite flattering. But what you really wanted to be was more in touch with your feminine side. What you really wanted was to become a woman:

(stay tuned for part 2)

102 notes · View notes

amorastein · 2 years

Text

HEROGASM

Bro watching every character have there own separate storyline that eventually intersects at the orgy was *chefs kiss.

Not enough people talking about Kimiko and Frenchie’s b-plot but for me watching him have to choose b/t Kimiko and Cherie was just as tension filled as the final fight

HUGHIE!!!!!!! I support Hughie’s rights but more importantly I support his wrongs, like yes Starlight is in the right and I think her and MM are going to be vindicated by the plot by the end of the season, but all that said…

Seeing Hughie get a real apology from A-Train PLUS helping in the fight against Homelander while being buttass naked the entire time like…bby boy no one is doing it like u 🖤

MM is the real mvp this season and I want to see him punch Butcher without the tempV, he deserves it as a treat.

If we learned anything about Homelander this episode it’s that all of this could have been avoided if he saw a therapist as a kid… like that mirror scene really is just his girl,interrupted moment tm

#the boys #season 3 #hughie campbell #homelander #billy butcher #mother’s milk #herogasm #anyway while everyone’s freaking out about soldier boy #i shall be here in the corner freaking out about hughie’s arc this season #he’s pathetic I love him

807 notes · View notes

scarlet--wiccan · 4 months

Note

Do you think that Wanda’s lost her ~edge~ a bit? Like in the past she would often be talking back at people, insulting people, shouting, slamming things, breaking things etc etc especially when she was upset but it seems to me that these days she’s lost a lot of that

(And somewhat related imo she weirdly speaks like a therapist these days with her saying something about “redemption”, “healing”, “owning [her] mistakes”, “mastering [her] pain” etc etc every three seconds but then again I’ve seen that with a lot of female characters recently)

Yes and yes, to both points.

I don't think of Wanda as an especially wrathful or violent person, but she definitely has a quick temper and she doesn't pull her punches. I think we see this the most in the 80s and 90s, where she really wasn't afraid to snap at people or blow something up. The fact that her powers were still being written as generally destructive and forceful-- but not necessarily scary and dangerous, at least not all of the time-- really added to that. People's perceptions might be slightly tainted by the Darker than Scarlet storyline, where she was being mentally and emotionally manipulated to literally be more angry and, eventually, hateful. It's important to remember that her behavior in that period isn't truly reflective of her character.

Nonetheless, I do like this side of Wanda because it's something she has in common with her brother, and it stands in contrast to the image of her as a meek and somewhat repressed girl, which persisted, off-and-on, throughout the 60s and 70s. In general, I think there's a tendency for people to underestimate Wanda, and I like that she's not only more capable, but also more combative than they expect. Of course, this "fiery" attitude is definitely part of a stereotype about Romani women, but with Wanda, I think it's articulated differently, and she's usually given good reason to be that way.

Of course, she lost a lot of this edge after the Decimation. There was a period, for several years after her return, where Wanda was understandably somber, and I think that the writers who wanted her to be sympathetic were probably wary of letting her be violent. Now that all of that drama is in the past, I've noticed that she is more confident, but she also tends to be more careful and measured. That's not a bad thing, but it does lead into the "therapist speak" that you noted.

For his part, I do think Orlando finds a way for Wanda to keep that edge. We do see her lash out in some of her fights, and she gets really mad at Hexfinder in #10. She uses magical constructs and attacks in ways that feel very violent, often physical, and she gets real snippy with Bookworm. Most importantly, her convictions and empathy are actually challenged at times, and she's allowed to show doubt. There's a lot of nuance here, but with how cramped some of these issues are, it can be hard to pick up on first read.

I think Jean is in a very similar position-- these are both super powerful female character who have been through some really heavy storylines and are now matured into their most confident, competent selves. There is a tendency for those women to seem... overly empathetic and emotionally super-intelligent. They can come off as infallible in a way that doesn't really work for storytelling. Fortunately, I do think these characters are all still well-balanced, but it's an interesting pattern, especially since most of these books are not being written by women.

#character development #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch

19 notes · View notes

woman-for-women · 1 year

Note

hii! i was wondering if there was anywhere I could message you privately? i’m a 14 year old girl who socially IDed as FtM for 5 years but now want to detransition and I don’t know where to go or where to start. xx

Hi! Firstly, you can message me, but if that's something that makes you uncomfortable, I can try to point you to resources right here! Feel free to send other asks :)

Talk to a trusted adult in your life. It could be a parent, an aunt/uncle, a teacher, or an older sibling. The adults in your life probably want the best for your health and happiness. It's great if you reach out to me, but at the end of the day, the adults in your life know you the best and would probably want you to talk to them first before a stranger on the internet. I'm guessing your parents will probably be open to hearing what you have to say.

Contact your doctor or a local gender clinic and ask if they can point you towards detransitioning resources.

Search online and see if there are any detransition support groups near you (unlikely this will pan out, but it's worth a try). If you happen to know anyone who has detransitioned, you can also reach out to them.

If you are able to, please look into counseling. If you are dysphoric, you can ask for a counselor that will help you explore your discomfort with your body/gender roles and reconcile your relationship with your body. I’d avoid any therapists who advertise themselves as LGBTQIA2S+ friendly: they may be well meaning, but their primary method of treatment for dysphoria will likely be transition. Therapists and other mental health professionals tend to have bios where they list their background and what they specialize in: I'd suggest looking for a therapist who is female, and possibly someone who is comfortable gender non-conforming (someone who doesn't see being unhappy with gender roles or gender non-conforming as being the same as being trans). I went to a counselor who was an older lesbian. You can also send an email to Gender Exploratory Therapy Association (GETA) to see if they can match you with a therapist.

You can journal how you feel. It doesn't need to be fancy (it can be a notes page on your phone or some binder paper, but if journaling with markers and stickers and washi tape helps, you can do that too). Ask yourself what made you feel like you weren't or couldn't be a woman/girl? What does the thought of detransitioning make you feel? It can just be how you feel in general. If you're comfortable, you can also share your journal with a trusted adult or counselor. Or, it can just be for your eyes only.

Work on improving your integrity and comfort with your body. It helps you feel wonderful feelings, taste your favorite foods, see beautiful things... your body is not trying to hurt you or work against you. For example, your body is not menstruating because it is "punishing" you for not being pregnant (this is something I heard a lot growing up). Menstruation is just something female bodies do. It's vital to regulating your hormonal health, bone density, and weight. While yes, you can get pregnant and be a parent if you choose to as an adult, your body is not telling you to do anything. Your bodily functions are not a mandate. You exist for you!

Try to avoid seeing your body as a problem, or as fractured parts you want to fix: your body is just your body. Don't think of your body as a decorative object you need to change to please anyone. Your body exists for you and (most importantly) your body is you. Treating your body well is part of treating yourself well.

To improve your relationship with your body, I would recommend picking a sport or physical activity. Do something you like that makes you comfortable! If wearing a swimsuit fills you with dread, wear a more modest one or don't pick swimming. It can be as simple as walking, stretching, or yoga in your room. The point of a physical activity is not just to keep in shape, but to feel how your body is capable of doing whatever you want it to. Your body doesn't have to look a certain way for that.

Your image of your body and your comfort with being female might also improve if you take a social media break. I know it can be hard, but try to commit to a short break (a week, a month). Use this time to read, listen to music, draw, relax, exercise... whatever will keep you happy and healthy. Social media is saturated with images of sexualized, objectified, and impossibly thin women. It can be stressful to feel like you don't "measure up" to what the Internet tells you a woman is supposed to be. Take this time to remind yourself that you don't need to imitate these people to be happy.

I would also recommend you unfollow any social media accounts that make you feel bad about your body or talk about transitioning and gender all the time (you can always refollow later). Focus on how you feel about your body and yourself, not what other people promote.

What or how you decide to change socially, who you tell, or how you say it is up to you. You don't need to disclose why you're detransitioning either. You can just tell people you've decided it wasn't for you or that you'd like to go by your old name/pronouns. Don't let anyone, especially other transitioned peers, pressure you into doing or revealing anything you don't want to. If you have a friend group of trans peers your age, don't let them make you feel bad! You have the right to do what's best for you. If you have friends that aren't supportive of you doing what's best for you, it might be best to look for a new friend group.

If you've been happiest dressing in "boy" clothes or doing certain "boy" activities, none of that has to change when you detransition! Detransitioning should be about accepting that your natal biological sex is female. Being female is a neutral fact, like being brunette or being 167 cm. Being female has no bearing on what you can do, who you can love, what professions, hobbies, or interests you have... that's all gender. You don't have to change how you dress, think, feel, act, talk, etc. None of these things can disqualify you from being a woman or girl. Just be yourself and know there's no wrong way to be female.

Being a woman or girl can be scary. Menstruation sucks, sexual harassment sucks, sexism sucks. But there's light at the end of the tunnel, and that's other women and girls! Reach out to them. They are your lifeline. Build friendships. There are other women and girls just like you. You are never alone.

On that note, having positive female role models and consuming books/TV shows/movies/music by and about women can help you feel better about detransitioning and reconciling with being female.

Don't discount the wisdom of older women! They're not nags, shrews, or "Karens". They're female, too. Many of them have likely felt what you feel.

Detransitioning doesn't mean you need to feel a certain type of way on gender or trans issues. Don't let radical feminists, conservatives, or trans-rights activists bully you into saying or doing what suits their narrative. It's your life, so do what's right for you!

Lastly, here are some resources I would recommend, both about transition and detransition:

A Booklet on Gender Detransition

The risks of binding

Testosterone use and pelvic health

Maybe this is silly, but this comic helped me feel a lot better when I first saw it.

Cosmic Uterus by Ida Neverdahl

Edit: I added some things to the list. Before I forget — the prevailing narrative told to dysphoric and trans-identifying teens is that you need to transition, you need to go on hormones, you need to do xyz or you will die. This is not true. Most dysphoric youth who do not medically transition end up as happy, alive adults. (If you are having suicidal thoughts, please tell a trusted adult or call a hotline). So I’m going to tell you instead what I was told, and what other lesbian, gay, and bisexual kids were told growing up: it gets better. I promise it does. You are so brave. You are going to be okay <3

#detrans #detransition #ftm #detransitioner #w4w asks #w4w speaks #detransition resources #resources #desist #desister #beliefs

51 notes · View notes

bsforbg · 1 day

Text

My partners and I are having a baby in May, and I’m excited to be a mom, but I also keep returning to your story “Checking In” over and over. It feels like a chapter of my life is closing and I know that a new one is starting and it’ll have its joys too (including erotic ones!) but I can’t help but be sad to see part of me go, or at least some of the dreams that have animated the last 7 or 8 years of my life (sexual and otherwise). I think you said one time that you don’t fuck with mothers because they usually have something in their life more important than you, and that speaks to me. My own mom told me that once you have a child, they’re the only thing that matters, and while I think that kind of ego auto-annihilation is probably maladjusted (and maybe explains why I felt like she resented me sometimes when I was a child) I do feel the possibility of worshipping at someone’s feet with a truly clear mind is being foreclosed upon, at least for a long time. I’ll be 52 when they turn 18, and I remind myself that hey, I find 52 year old women hot all the time, but 34 year olds aren’t even exactly in huge demand now. It’s not like my sexuality will disappear between now and then either, but it’s hard to imagine what it’ll be like. Having an hour alone with my vibrator interrupted by a crying infant I have to go nurse has a weirdly erotic frisson of its own, but I imagine it’ll be challenging for a good while. I told my therapist a version of this but I guess I wanted you to know it, too. I’ve sent you asks before and through your replies felt closer to, if not my God, then at least something I could pretend was for a little while. It’s not like I’ll stop cumming to your ouevre, either. I guess I just want you to know that although we only ever had cursory interactions, they mattered a lot to me, and will still matter a lot to me even though my relationship to it feels like it’s exchanging a feeling of absurd aspiration for a tinge of wistful regret. Maybe that’s selfish, I don’t know, but it felt worth saying. Thank you for existing.

First, that was beautiful. My heart somehow managed to make the sound “Awwwwwwwww”. Seriously. I’m actually worried. But until the ambulance gets here…

Second, I am touched like Beyoncé singing to a little blind girl… I mean, that a young lady in your condition keeps re-reading “Checking In”, well, that’s just hot. But more importantly, I’m not happy if the words can’t reach you wherever you are. I like that they keep finding their way to you —and you, to them— even when you wind up in the cultural primordial soup of procreation.

Think about how deep you’ve gone! Months of your life, taken by a creature that doesn’t acknowledge your humanity; your body reshaping itself against your will; your organs playing God between your legs. And from here, beyond the horizon of fear and pain and relief, lurks eighteen long years of servitude and struggle and half-completed, clumsily rendered “I ❤️ yuo mOm” cards scrawled on construction paper. You’re in the thick of it. And presumably, of you.

To reach you there? That’s high praise indeed. Thank you, kiddo.

RE: sad to see part of me go

You’re simultaneously tugging at my heartstrings and making me envious of whoever has the joy of putting you through this most exquisitely human of tortures. I am totally jelly.

So much is being inflicted upon you, so many choices are being made that you can never take back… and people on the street will congratulate you. They’ll infantilize you, and frighten you, and shame you, and tell you smiling lies, and touch you like your body no longer belongs to you. You will become both less and more than human for a few months, and then WHAM, back down into the dirt of life, only now all the rules have changed and something really smells around here.

(A fun example of how you can be both catered to and disregarded all at once: note how much effort I’ve put into this response.)

All of which I’ve said so that I can say this: go, my dear child? Are you kidding? That part of your life isn’t going anywhere. It’s in everything you do. It’s who you are. You’re just modulating your relationship with it.

RE: something in their lives more important than you

It’s just better for everyone. Sometimes sad and disappointing, yeah… but better. I like clarity rather than confusion, and while keeping a girl perpetually suspended between dueling interests sounds like something I’d enjoy, it’s really not in this case.

RE: truly clear mind

Do you need that with someone? I mean, really need it? You obviously want it, we know that. But being pregnant at all suggests you might not need it.

That’s okay, y’know. Having a mostly clear mind? It’s okay. It doesn’t have to be spotless and sublime. I know I seem perfect to a certain kind of girl because I am, in fact, perfect for a certain kind of girl… but I represent precisely one way to push all those buttons of yours. Maybe someone else can’t push them exactly the way I would, and maybe you’ll always wonder if it’s somehow… less. Maybe it will be less, but you’ve gained enough elsewhere to soothe the burn of loss. Life is full of trade-offs… make the most of the trades you make.

RE: 52

I won’t bullshit you and tell you that life for a highly sexual fifty-two year old girl isn’t tricky. Our cultural cult of youth marches on, and pauses for no woman. But it won’t be exactly the way you picture it. After all, there will always be cruel, possessive 75 year old men with viagra prescriptions and amended wills ready to give you a whole new perspective on your oldest desire.

RE: challenging for a while

Yup, it’ll be a challenge. But you can do it, soldier. It’s your goddamned job. And good girls do their jobs. If you do yours the best you can, as thoughtfully as you can, then I suspect you’re gonna be okay.

RE: if not my God, at least something I could pretend was

It’s important to remember that the aspect of me that owns women is extremely possessive and proscriptive, but the aspect that inhabits your imagination is really relaxed about that whole “no other gods before him” thing. He’s happy just to own a little plot of land between your ears, a place to set up housekeeping… a hearth to keep the fire burning.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. You can lose your faith, but only when you stop dreaming.

RE: they mattered a lot to me, and will still matter a lot

There goes that heart thing again. I feel like it’s definitely not supposed to do that. Someone would have, y’know… mentioned it. “My heart just made a sound like a Pentatonix made of wheezing banshees leading a funeral dirge” feels like something people would talk about if it came up. Y’know, in passing.

Bless you, sweet person. I’m proud of you for bravely taking such a difficult path.

And you’re welcome.

#reblog

9 notes · View notes

phoenixyfriend · 1 year

Note

Thoughts on Luminara/Quinlan or Luminara/Quinlan/Obi-Wan?

can y'all send some asks that are like “thoughts on ______”

This ask meme is from a year ago. Please don't send new prompts.

I think there's solid potential! I'm not 100% on what the dynamic would be, but I think there's a lot to be said about how these three had intersecting childhoods and overlapping padawanships, but in knighthood... they sort of veered off into different directions, even though they all had padawans. Quinlan's very cloak-and-dagger, and Obi-Wan is very much a battlefront specialist, and Luminara is a diplomat in a way that even Obi-Wan isn't. I do think that it's a bit likely to fall into the cliches about the girl in a couple being the emotional rock and center of common sense, but Luminara in this case isn't 'the girl' but rather 'the consular,' rather than being a guardian or a shadow like the other two. Being the stable center who doesn't have same form of strain on her is definitely a thing, because she has stress, obviously, but it's more of a courtroom/peace summit stress, not 'at constant risk of getting shot' stress, and I do think that her consistency, both in being on-planet and in being less battered by circumstance, would be a major part of her role in the couple/throuple.

Importantly, she is not taking on the role of a therapist or being the only emotional support they have, but I do think she's definitely far more open to, say, taking on Aayla or Anakin for a weekend while the other two have a mission that can't have padawans, or the other two are having Bad Mental Health Days and want the kids to be with a stable adult. Luminara, I think, would also be pleased to have Barriss around slightly older padawans who can help support her, and also who can be her friends. Aayla's pretty solid, but I think that Anakin and Barriss both have difficulty making friends; Aayla's a good older sister figure, more than a peer but not quite a mentor, so I think Luminara would really enjoy having her around Barriss, and Anakin too.

#Luminara Unduli #Quinlan Vos #Obi Wan Kenobi #Barriss Offee #Anakin Skywalker #Aayla Secura #star wars #the clone wars #phoenix answers memes

76 notes · View notes

georgiapeach30513 · 2 years

Text

Night Moves, Part 1

Summary: a meeting with Carter, and then your introduction to Lloyd Hansen

Pairings: Carter Baizen X Reader, Lloyd Hansen X Reader

Rating: none yet, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 1.7K

Series Masterlist

A/N: just me and my hoe @tis-thedamn-season on our shit talking about Lloyd Hansen, and this monstrosity came from nowhere...

Nervously you scratch the back of your neck, your eyes roaming around the obnoxiously clean office. Playing with the business card in your hand. You were told this was the best place to be. Explained that the owners took care of their girls, valued them, and even set them up with long term clients, one was even supposed to be marrying a client.

This isn’t the life you pictured though. You had big dreams just as much as the next person, but life and dreams are funny that way. No family, and dead end job after job led you to become desperate, and the streets was horrifying.

You look back at the door, wondering if maybe you got the time wrong, or maybe the secretary let you in too soon. You’re not sure, but the longer you wait, the more you want to bolt.

Hearing the large door open and close, you stand quickly, coming face to face with a man worth more than you’ll ever make in your lifetime. Offering him your name, he takes your hand in his own, giving you a strong shake before walking behind his desk.

“So,” he begins leaning back in his chair. Crystal blue eyes looking you up and down, “what brings you here?”

“Security,” you answer sincerely. “I’m selling my…my assets anyways, but I want to know that I’m in a safe environment. Mr. Baizen.”

“Yeah, drop that, call me Carter. So you have heard of us?” you only offer him a single nod. He quickly readjusts his seat, pushing over a cup to you. “First things first, I need to know you’re drug free.”

“I am.”

“Then this shouldn’t be a problem,” he nudges the cup further to you. “I’ll also need to check the webbing of your feet and fingers, just to see if there was any past use. I’m protecting us both,” his hand moves to point over at a door, and you stand to walk in the bathroom, giving him a sample.

While this isn’t what you’re expecting, you somehow appreciate it. Like that he is protecting his name, while also keeping you safe. Especially knowing if you stay there, there’s other girls.

You return the cup to him, and he waits patiently for the negative result. “Very good. We run a tight ship here. You’ll be introduced on stage as soon as possible. Beforehand, I want you to think long and hard about your absolutely nots.”

You look up at him confused as to what he’s talking about. Trying to think of what that could possibly mean. “We have high paying clients, and they have specific wants. I don’t care about them. I care about your comfortability, and what you absolutely will not do. That’s why you will have a profile.”

Carter slides a file over towards you, and you look at the thick packet of papers. They had thought of everything, including allergies. “We’ll need to get you tested, all of our clients are tested as well. You do not have to wear a condom, although, I would highly encourage it. Birth control will be provided to you. We have a therapist on site, and Lloyd takes care of security.”

“What are some of the things the clients ask for?”

“Your typical kinks; collars, anal or at least butt plugs, leather or lace, rimming, threesome, double penetration. Anything you’re willing to do, and more importantly what you’re not willing to do. Also,” he takes a deep breath almost rolling his eyes, “are you ashamed of public nudity?”

“Wh-why?” you stutter out. You had not thought this was happening today.

“I don’t want to scare you, it wouldn’t be the clients. It would be the other girls,” you look at him bewildered as to where he’s taking this conversation. “Lloyd likes to…sample the product if you will. He likes a show and tell to explain safe sex, and when testing boundaries. Keep in mind, here, we believe that no means no, even if you think you’re okay with something at first, but then want to stop, you can. We have our ways to deal with clients that don’t comply.”

You gulp, staring owlishly at Carter as he explains his partner. “He’s a big teddy bear with the girls, and they all adore him, and his ‘extra classes’. You start taking clients in one of the rooms at the estate. There will be a guard outside of your door, again safety first. You have a safe word with the client, but a code word for your guard. Are we of an understanding?”

“Yes, where do I go now?”

Carter pushes a button on his phone, his eyes never leaving you, “Stacey, please make sure our newest recruit is taken to the salon. Inform Lloyd of her arrival, and I believe Misty has already taken her measurements, have Gabby stock her room, and have everything ready for her. Showtime will be this weekend. This week, Lloyd breaks you in. Have a nice time. I’ll come by and see you in a few days. Remember Lloyd isn’t as intense as he seems. He really does care about you girls. Don’t be afraid. He’s just a bit…”

“Different,” Stacey finishes. “Lloyd and Carter want us to have a life outside of the club,” she holds up a finger, a large ring on it. “Mrs. Napoleon Solo. Now I work in the office. They can’t get rid of me. Come along. We’ll get you set up.”

Sitting on your bed, you glance around your new room, still just as pristine as Carter’s office. While it wasn’t large, it was homey. To be kept separate from your life outside of these walls. This was to be your safe space. Where you learned who you were outside of sex. Encouraged to keep a journal, if only for yourself. To write down your goals, or even how you felt after a client.

You smooth out the satin of your dress, while it wasn’t something you would have chosen for yourself, you couldn’t deny how you felt sexy. Powerful even, thinking to yourself that you were amazed how most girls didn’t flock here. The partners seemed caring of their assets, and their high quality girls had made quite a name for themselves.

“So you’re the one one, huh, Sweetpea?” you stand up quickly, walking over to the mustached man, who could only be, “I’m Lloyd. You’ll see me a bit more than Carter. He’s the business end, smart man. I’m more the brawn. A bit more hands on.”

“So I heard,” you give him a nod, unsure of when he plans on testing things out with you.

“Does that bother you, Sugar?” he holds out a hand to you, placing your hand in his. Instead of shaking it, he bows, lifting your hand for a kiss to your knuckles, and you almost startle backwards. “You alright there?”

“I’m fine.”

“How long have you been in,” Lloyd makes himself comfortable on your bed, leaning back he taps on the satin duvet. “I won’t bite. Unless that’s your thing. Did Carter explain to you how you need to create your profile? We try to match you with the most suitable, but of course, sometimes they like what they see and want a taste.”

“He did,” sitting down beside him, you find yourself getting closer to him than you initially thought. Comfortable with him, and even the way he and Carter say they protect their girls.

“They pay a lot, and sometimes it’s just for companionship. So you’re not expected to take four clients a night. But you set your pace. You have contracts with us, but of course,” he gives you a wide smile, and even sniffs your perfume a bit, “Should someone want to keep you for their own, such as Mrs. Solo, they can buy you out of your contract.”

“It’s a lot to take in.”

“You’ll be fine,” Lloyd runs his finger up your neck, lifting you chin to get a better look at you. “Yep,” he swallows deeply. “You’ll be just fine.”

“About the um,” pointing between the two of you, trying to convey the safety lessons.

“I’ll never make you do anything you don’t want to. It’s just…I can be a greedy man. And I believe, if it’s okay with you, I should make sure I know what product is going out there, and if there’s room for improvement. Plus give some tactics should you feel uncomfortable, and need a quick out. You don’t have to participate. I can always use another girl for the public show.”

You’re not sure why, but the thought of him with someone else doesn’t sit right with you. Feeling your throat constrict a bit, you stare at him unblinkingly. “Or you could always be my special girl. We could have a private show first. But for now, rest, think, write, explore. Stay off the main floor, because you’re not on the menu, that’s what the girls call it, not me. This is your home. Do you, Sugar,” with a quick wink he stands to leave, and you reach out to grab his arm.

There was a calm serenity that surrounded Lloyd. He made you feel seen. He was personal, and he wanted to know more. “Where are you going?”

“Downstairs,” he answers with a crooked grin.

“Oh,” you answer flatly, looking down towards the door.

He looks around your room, and into your closet, before landing back on you, “This is going against my better judgement, but if you wanted to dress you can stay on my arm,” you turn your nose up quickly and he chuckles at you, “You’ll have to earn your keep and pay eventually.”

“When are you done?” you have to avert your gaze to his boots, scared of your boldness, but you do have a deep desire to know the odd man.

“You wanting me to come find you afterwards?” running his finger back up your neck, he lifts your head up, “Does that sound nice, Sugar?”

“Yes.”

“Just don’t get attached. This is business,” with a quick kiss to your nose, and an added tickle from his mustache, he turns to leave, “And don’t check out my ass when I walk away,” and that is the one thing you made sure to do.

Lloyd knows he’s going to have some fun with you. Reading your first draft of your file from Carter, and a warning to just leave you alone. He knows he can’t. You were perfect. Just what he was looking for. And then Carter’s voice rings in his head, “Don’t taint the merchandise.”

“She may not be merchandise,” he whispers to himself as he walks down the stairs. Putting on his charming and arrogant smile as he introduces the girls for the night.

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @sstan-hoe @pono-pura-vida @buckysteveloki-me @peaches1958 @sarcasmoverlordxo @randomagnes0210 @bambamwolf87 @whimsyplaty92 @feyfantome

#night moves #harlot au #lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #carter baizen #lloyd hansen fanfiction #the gray man #gossip girl #chris evans #sebastian stan

186 notes · View notes