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qqtxt · 1 year

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[🌸] jealousy, jealousy w/ txt

✿ pairing: ot5 x reader / idol!txt / non.idol!you / reader is friends with a couple of the stray kids’ members for each member’s part (don’t ask, i’m about to be a stay and it’s not okay) / curse words, cursing at each other as friendly banters / mentions of food and eating ✿ mini-fics with each member for the same situation / less than 700 words for each member / altogether, word count: 3,071 words (i couldn’t help myself on this one, it simply wrote itself i swear) ✿ when they’re jealous but try not to show it... (yet fail miserably because you can tell) [masterlist 🌸] / other members under the cut! / @kflixnet ✨

[🐰] soobin soobin swears he didn’t mean to intrude with your chat thread. it’s just that he heard you giggling and he wanted to know what was so interesting because if it’s a cute cat or dog video, he’d most definitely want to see (also he gets drawn to the sound of your voice very often). he notices it seems to be messages from... hm... that name looks familiar... regardless, he feels this small twitch in his chest, even if it doesn’t sound logical to feel this way.

he didn’t realise he was still staring at your direction until you peek up from your phone and turn the cheek, sitting up to align your faces together as you two sat on the sofa side by side. “yes, handsome?”

his mouth opens, and closes when he doesn’t know what to say. what does he say? i think i might be jealous over something or someone i don’t even know the context of? he swallows and tries to muster up a reply, only to widen his eyes when you seem to click in your mind that–”ah, why i was laughing? here, seungmin texted this meme of jyp,” you snicker, showing him the message.

his lips are pursued, gaped with a small ‘o’ as he nods in response, smiling a little after that when he sees how funny you think it is. then his lips press into a thin line as he looks back down on his phone, seeing his wallpaper of your smile mirroring his as beomgyu helped take a photo of the pair of you on a swing; grinning at each other like the sun and moon colliding and soobin can’t help but wonder if he makes–”you’re thinking too much, bin-ah,”

“i didn’t even say anything.”

“you can say quite a lot with that face of yours.”

“...what am i saying, then?”

you use your eyes to point at his wallpaper, well-aware that it’s yours as well. it’s a favourite picture you two have (cue to him asking you which photo of the two of you was your favourite and sparking a two-hour debate, ending only when you can find a photo to agree on to set as your wallpapers). it’s all because soobin was telling you something out of seriousness but it was too funny to be serious, which is why you two were smiling that widely in the photo beomgyu managed to capture; because soobin automatically smiles when you smile.

"nobody makes me smile the way you do.”

“augh, how cheesy.” is the first thing that comes out of soobin’s mouth, out of habit, he can’t stop himself. but soon, that cheesy goodness spreads in his body and it makes him feel warm inside that he can’t hide the smile threatening to show on his face. that makes you smile on cue and remember, it’s a domino effect so now soobin’s a blushing, smiling mess with you mirroring him with a smile just as wide.

tl;dr: poor boy tries to pretend he isn’t jealous and is nonchalant about it, even if in his mind he’s having multiple layers of debate if he should say something, if it’s okay to ask, if it’s appropriate to show he’s possibly jealous. but it all shows on his face based on how he reacts because he can’t control it. would appreciate if you brought it up but honestly, he brings it up without saying anything because it’s all over his face, which you appreciate, too. just an assurance or two would make him all smiles again, to remind him that there really is no one else that makes you feel the way he does.

[🦊] yeonjun yeonjun didn’t mean to eavesdrop (because let’s be real, he’d just blatantly ask you to put on loudspeaker if he wanted to, that’s the kind of trust you two had) but he was headed to the bathroom, only to stand by the doorway of the kitchen when he hears you’re on the phone with–”lix, i’ll beat your ass in mario kart. don’t even pretend like your hand coordinations work with a controller just because you can dance.”

he crosses his arms and leans his head next to the wall, squinting his eyes so hard that maybe–oh, right, he’s not exactly invisible–he straightens his back when he’s captured your attention, fixing that look on his face to a sheepish grin and waves a little... even when he knows he’s not fooling anyone, especially not you.

“ah, i’ll text you when we’re leaving. see you, ass face.”

“where are you going?” yeonjun tries to make sure he doesn’t sound upset, but it’s safe to say he’s not managing well when you chuckle at him like that. “why do i get the feeling that you may be a little jealous?”

he huffs and uncrosses his arms, already pulling you by the waist to keep you close to him as he narrows his eyes at you, “a little? you’re giving me too much credit here. i think i looked like i could beat someone up if i wanted to.”

“so... you wanna beat up felix because he invited us over to play mario kart?”

“i mean, yeah if it fits–wait, what?”

his expression immediately changes when he processes what you mean, and picking up earlier that you said ‘we’re’ leaving instead of just you. if jealousy was first, inclusiveness was second because yeonjun just loves being with you. sure, he’s all about having your own circle of friends but sometimes, (most of the time) he loves being around you with your friends, too.

“ah... so we are going together?”

“depends. do you still wanna beat–”

“augh, what’re you talking about? we’re all friends, best friends!” he puts a hand over your mouth to stop you from calling him out, even when he already knows whatever he’s thinking isn’t true. he feels you laughing against his hand and allows you to pull his hand from your mouth, so you can reveal to him that pretty smile that numbs him almost instantly, “you know you have nothing to worry about, right?” he feels his heart swooning when you turn his hand, so you can kiss his knuckles, “you’re all i want.”

he tries to press his lips together, so it doesn’t reveal just how hard he’s smiling as he nods... but fails automatically when he lets out a chuckle, happiness taking over his system as he nods again, “yeah, i know.” he moves to grip onto your hand, half-dragging you to the bedroom to–”let’s get ready to kick some asses!”

tl;dr: man’s not jealous because he trusts you with his whole heart but he uses his jealousy as a way to playfully show you how much he loves you. he’s confident in who he is as your lover and partner, but wants you to know that he does care who you go out with and who you interact with because he cares about you. wouldn’t shy from asking directly or use innuendos; would just ask as it is.

[🐯] beomgyu beomgyu’s number one goal in life since he’s met you is to make you laugh. when you’re happy, laugh twice as much. when you’re sad, find a reason to laugh. when you’re mad, he’s trying to ease your nerves with laughter. now... just because he loves hearing you laugh, doesn’t mean he appreciates someone else making you laugh. doesn’t matter who it is; he’ll feel a prick to his chest.

more so now when you’re laughing at your phone, him walking out of the bedroom (as he was taking a nap) to see you on a video call with–he squints his eyes at who’s filling your screen–han jisung. you were laying on your stomach, arm stretched out on top of the arm rest as you two talked leisurely.

sure, all of you have hung out before but... that doesn’t mean beomgyu doesn’t feel anything. he can pretend all he wants but he knows it’ll only get worse the more he tries to suppress it. he’s talked about it with you before and he does feel secure, but sometimes, the feeling doesn’t last very long that his intrusive thoughts take over.

so instead of heading to the kitchen, he ends up plopping on top of you and effectively squishing you on the sofa. jisung immediately waves and greets–”gyu! hey!”

“sup!” beomgyu waves back and the two boys are now chuckling at your breathless state now that your nearly two meter boyfriend decides to use you as a mattress.

“g-gyu, get off!”

“you’re comfortable,” he snorts, pressing his cheek to the side of your head, resting his weight on you as his chest moulds to your back, legs tangled between yours and he supports your hand holding your phone up.

“how’re you, han?”

that’s how beomgyu steered the conversation and you accepted your fate. chiming in here and there, until the video call ends with plans to meet up later at han’s dorm with a couple of the other boys. when you end the call, you flop your phone down (not caring if it slides off to the table conveniently next to it) and try to get a glimpse of your boyfriend, “and what was that about, mr. choi?”

“augh, that’s mr. handsome to you,” he kisses the side of your head, refusing to get up as his arms snake around your waist, coming between your body and the sofa beneath you. “i have a question,”

“can you please get off first?”

“no, you gotta answer first.”

“ask me. ask me quick before i pass out.”

“hypothetically, if you were single and if han was single–”he tries not to laugh when you immediately respond with han’s probably gonna die alone with that mouth of his”–and let’s say you didn’t meet me. would you two have dated?”

“that’s your golden question? that’s the question you’re willing to suffocate me for?”

“answer!”

“hypothetically, realistically and currently, no. i’ve only got eyes for one man and it’s the same one that’s trying to kill me!”

“augh, i love you too.” he coos, lovingly clinging onto you despite your protests, but with the way he’s smiling at you and peppering kisses to your face, you can’t quite push him off if you wanted to.

tl;dr: could be insecure, could be just playful, or the mix of both, depending on the mood. most of the time, he’s fairly confident in him being a boyfriend and a partner to you but there are moments he’ll feel insecure. he’ll mask that with playfulness and whenever you reassure him, it feels like he had nothing to worry about in the first place; because he trusts you, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need the reassurance.

[🐿] taehyun taehyun know that this isn’t something he should feel anything about but... he can’t help himself. he’s only human. the great thing about taehyun is that he doesn’t hide whenever he feels this way so... he’ll... just ask.

now is one of those times when he sees you on a video call with chan–the bang chan from stray kids–as you were fiddling with the computer, phone propped to the side and chan seemingly doing his work with tunes and bits and bobs playing in the background. taehyun stands a distance away, remaining hidden from both of your screens as he thinks whether he’ll want to speak about it now or later but it seems like the answer is decided for him when you–”earth to kang taehyun, you there?”

he seems to snap out of reverie, blinking a couple of times at your direction as his eyes grow wide at the attention now on him. chan gives him a wave, with the pixelated voice of hey, tae! then the line gets wonky and you’re ending the call momentarily to direct your attention fully on–”what’re you up to?”

“just... wanted to get some water. you want some?”

“water?” you snort, and taehyun rubs the back of his neck, regretting a bit on how silly that sounds, “yeah?”

“can we go get boba instead? i can call chan to come with? might do him some good to get out of that studio dungeon.”

you watch as he thinks about it and he starts to make his way towards you. kneeling before you. automatically, you turn to face him and you lean forward when he peers up to you with pressed lips. the shift in his gaze makes you a little antsy, using a hand to put on his shoulder, the other reaching up to run through his hair. he tries not to get sidetracked with your touch, having one hand on your knee, the other reaching up to hold your waist lightly.

"could we... just go together? alone?”

through his question, you’re able to pick up on the subtlety of how he’s feeling. you nod with a smile, “of course, handsome.”

“n-not that i don’t like chan or anything, i just–”

“you don’t have to explain yourself,” your hand moves from his hair to press a thumb over his lips. from speaking midway, he seals his lips into a smile; one so... pretty that it makes your heart swoon at how he’s looking at you.

“but... for me to make it clear, you know i only have eyes for you, hm? chan’s just a good friend.”

“of course,” he starts to regain the usual, silly side he has with you, “have you seen this face?” he tilts his head to the side, showing off his side profile that it makes you chuckle. that draws out an instant reaction of getting taehyun to laugh with you the second he sees that pretty smile on your face.

“that is a very nice face.”

“a face that likes looking at you,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your palm hovering next to his cheek. the cheesiness makes the both of you visibly shiver and in the next, you two are brushing it off to get ready to head out for boba. (which taehyun suggests getting one for chan to drop by at his studio on the way back)

tl;dr: taehyun’s pretty secure with who he is, knowing well that you chose to be with him for a reason. however, he’s only human to feel a bit envious when another guy or person has your attention that he truly appreciates. he’s not obsessively jealous but he’ll just acknowledge it as a way to recognise he’s feeling that way and feel better when you acknowledge it, too. with a reassurance and acknowledging how he’s feeling is more than enough to keep him happy.

[🐧] kai in all honesty, kai forgot that you were hanging out with hyunjin and changbin until he scrolled through his social media to see a posting of the three of you hanging out in a cafè. his heart flutters seeing you smile and he loves how happy you look but he’d be a liar to say he didn’t feel a small pinch to his heart seeing you with two other guys.

he debates if he wants to text you to ask, knowing it’ll be a bit too much to call but the second he’s about to pull up your chat thread, your name pops up on his screen. giddy, he swipes and answers the call with: “hey!”

“hi hun! i was just leaving a cafè and i wanted to drop by with some cakes and coffee–oh my god, guys, get off!” kai chuckles at how you’re quite literally fighting your way to speak to him, knowing the kind of friendship you had the the two guys. if he’s being honest, it’s like you three depicted the sibling squabbles better than him and his two sisters. more so when he can hear his name being called out by said guys in the background, cooing about how they would rather hang out with him than, you know, you. things like these made him feel at ease with how your friends respected your relationship with him, which is why it made him feel conflicted whenever he feels a bit of jealousy.

“as long as i get to see you, that’s all that matters to me.”

“augh, sweet boy. i’ll be right over–okay fuck you, hwang hyunjin! come here!” kai doesn’t have time to respond when the call ends abruptly and he’s reassured you’re on your way over when you snap a pic of your retrieved goods.

a good twenty minutes later, he hears a knock on the door of his dorm. he opens it to reveal you being escorted by two guys who have you in a partial headlock. it’s only until they meet with kai’s amused smile that they let you go, as if they’re doing a transaction trade. after bidding goodbye, you’re now finally at ease to be able to rest. you place your things on the dining table and turn to him with a huff. he fixes your hair and pulls you into a hug, unable to resist the urge to kiss your forehead before he asks: “had a good time?”

“i still don’t know why i hang out with them. it’s like a death wish each time.”

“then hang out with me more.”

“i’m quite literally in your bed at the end of every night.”

“eh, could be improved,” he shrugs, to which you snort and hit his shoulder before diving in to hug him properly. he hums as he has you in his arms, swaying you a little as he rests his cheek atop your head. still, he has the cheek in him to ask: “you only love me, right?” he only gets a smack to the back as an answer, knowing of his playful tone whenever you hear it. but still, you allow for a couple of beats to pass before you softly reassure him: “of course.”

then, you feel his lips to the side of your head, with a murmur of: “good, because i love you.”

tl;dr: this sweet bean loves seeing you with other people even if it’s not with him. though, he does get a bit jealous but he tries to mask it through being caring and asking questions... which ultimately you see through because of how he texts you or speaks to you. even with the way he acts could subtly imply he might feel jealous but he’s able to respect your space and you having your own friends, too. it’s a good mix and balance of both, playful jealousy that kind of reassures you two of your love.

#kflixnet #txt scenarios #txt reactions #txt headcanons #txt x you #txt x reader #txt stories #soobin x reader #yeonjun x reader #beomgyu x reader #taehyun x reader #hueningkai x reader

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greyeyedmonster-18 · 2 years

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(we are doing some cleaning before the term starts and i looked at this fic for the first time in months. all dressed up and...not going anywhere. and after reading through it, decided its going to stay that way, but i still really like this...first chapter.

so here tumblr. for you <3)

Work In Process (a raising harry AU, post-POA)

about 6k

Something about time.

The clock on the mantle of Number 12 Grimmauld Place ticked an eerie rhythm, acting as a metronome, counting the beats of passing time where Sirius Black did nothing but stare at the wall. Sirius remembered hearing that clock as a child, counting the tick, tick, ticks as he studied over summer holidays with his father over his shoulder or else when he was sent to stand in the corner, staring at the wallpaper, knowing nothing but the ticking clock and the pain on the back of his thighs.

And now Sirius counted the ticks for a different reason, needing a reminder that time was passing at all, after spending years in a cell wondering about the day or the month--even the year--let alone the minutes and seconds going past.

For years, time didn’t matter. It meant nothing. It was something elusive that just was. Something Sirius only checked in on via the morning paper when a prison guard was generous enough and brave enough to hand it through the bars of his cells. But everything had changed and suddenly having time was the most important thing in the world.

It had all happened so fast. This period of time, Sirius feeling like he was standing still as the world spun on it’s axis around him at record speed. The Earth, in theory, rotated once every twenty-four hours, but Sirius felt like days were combining into one at the beginning, creating new days of the week for himself.

Wursday, and Fraturday.

Lets not forget, Smonday.

They blended into one big blur, Sirius barely able to make sense of the walk back to Hogwarts the night of the full moon, Wormtail in a body-bind and all the way up to Dumbledore’s office.

An explosion.

A confession.

A trial.

A quite possibly inhumane amount of veritaserum and memory investigation later. Something about he’s a Black, certainly he knows Occlumency, Legilimency, all Sort of Tricks up his Sleeve and the Ministry, for once, wanting to triple-check their work. The first time around, Sirius was tossed into a cell without care, thrown into a corner like a crumpled sweet wrapper that missed the bin. This time though? Invasive. Overkill. Exhausting.

Do you treat all your potential criminals like this or am I just special? Sirius had asked to a room full of uptight ministry council members, unamused entirely. Until the charges were clear anyway, and suddenly they remembered Black could make their lives miserable, the key to the Gringotts vault being passed to Sirius after a wand, not used to having them around at all.

They asked Sirius if he needed any provisions, the Minister suddenly the most upbeat host of a party, offering to show Sirius around, offering up a room at the Leaky Cauldron until Sirius was able to sort out his finances, offering an arm and a leg and his soul in exchange forgiving a mistake.

“My godson,” Sirius told Fudge, the last time he had been summoned to the Minister's office. As a courtesy to make sure Sirius was adjusting.

If adjusting was spending time in his childhood home--the place he had run from so many years ago now acting as the only place of refuge Sirius could think of without accepting charity-- lying on the floor in the dark and listening to the clock tick, then yes, he was adjusting swimmingly..

“Harry is with Petunia Dursley, Lily’s sister,” the Minister explained.

“I know exactly where he is,” Sirius said, “And I believe, he belongs in my custody.”

Perhaps it was foolish, because Sirius had been cleared and able to walk around the wizarding world free for exactly two weeks, and half of him knew he wasn’t equipped to take care of a teenager any more than he was equipped to take care of himself at that particular moment. His dark curly hair had been matted and tangled for 13 years, after stopping trying to finger comb it around year two or maybe year three, he couldn’t be sure; he was still struggling to feed himself meals, used to surviving on so little despite knowing how emaciated his frame looked. Sirius had work to do, and had he been anyone else--had he not been named Godfather and Sirius Orion Black-- Sirius would hope a teenage boy wouldn’t have been so hastily handed over.

But as it was.

As he was.

“Then we can get the paperwork started.”

Sirius’s nails were brittle and falling apart as he worked on climbing his way out of the pit found himself in. Cracking under pressure, leaving fingertips bruised and bloody. Even as the end of the school year approached, Sirius was only halfway out, somedays falling to the ground once more and having to spend the first two hours of the day getting back to where he started. Like muggle-board games, he remembered playing with Lily one Christmas holiday--the first they had spent together at James’s house, the redhead nervous and giggling the entire time she met James’s parents--when a single dice roll could send you back to the beginning.

Most days, the roll was unlucky in Sirius’s case.

Snake eyes led to sleepless nights; doubles led to hearing sounds in the hallway that weren’t there.

Which was why Sirius took advantage of the rolls that weren’t entirely awful, hanging onto the side of the cliff for dear life with one hand as he sent out post to anyone and everyone from his old life.

Hello?

Is anybody out there?

Can you hear me? Do you care?

There was a knock on the door to Number 12, reminding Sirius that someone did care, the only sound that was able to jar him from his catatonic state, staring at the wall of the sitting room in an armchair. Sirius scuffled down the hallway, single candle lit, feet dragging on the floor to prove a point to a portrait upstairs that would occasionally yell. The only time his mothers screams felt welcoming.

Sirius opened the door, his wand raised.

“Get that thing out of my face,” Andromeda responded quickly, “Invite me over and already greeting me like a criminal?” she teased, “It’s me, Sirius. And what’s your plan with that anyway? Blasting me to bits? Leaving only my finger?”

“Did you prepare these jokes?” Sirius stepped out of the threshold, letting his cousin step in past him, absently wondering if she had gotten taller. The last time Sirius had seen Andromeda was when he was in his seventh year at Hogwarts, when she showed up to graduation and Sirius fought back tears when he heard someone cheering as his name was called. He recalled his head being able to see the top of hers, unlike the times before where Sirius would stand on tip-toes trying to reach the heights of his older cousins. He couldn’t see the top of Andromeda’s head, only the idea of it, back hunched over and so used to folding in on itself for protection and warmth.

“No, I’m terribly clever. See you’ve forgotten,” she said unbuckling the strap of her shoe and placing it on the floor, the two of them standing barefoot in the foyer.

In or out, Sirius. Do not linger.

“Memory’s a bit foggy these days.”

“I would imagine so. Remembered my address alright.”

“I found…it upstairs,” he shook his head, heavy hair moving around his chest.

“Lucky you,” she told him, “Are you going to invite me in? Or are we to have a very overdue conversation on the landing.”

“I…always thought important conversations should take place at entryways of homes. Sitting rooms are overrated.”

“Dining table?”

“Dusty.”

“You should clean, Sirius.”

“Kitchen?” he offered, “Tea?”

“That would be lovely,” she said, confidently leading the way down a home she had grown up in, though she had been separated from it for even longer. She was wearing jeans, he noted. Denim. Pockets. A blouse tucked into them and her brown hair in spiral curls down her back, not a thing out of place.

Except for them. Andromeda waved her wand, lighting up the hallway and opening curtains as Sirius ducked his head, squinting as he stared at floorboards following her to the kitchen. Sirius managed to beat his cousin to putting the kettle on, watching as she sat at the small kitchen table Sirius had been using to eat his half-meals alone, sitting primly with her legs crossed.

“I hope you take full offense when I say this, Sirius, but you’ve looked better.”

Sirius snorted out a laugh, “That might be the first honest thing anyone has said to me in two weeks.”

“What have the other things been?”

“Uh..well there’s the infinite number of we apologize deeply for the circumstances of the past 13 years and… let us know how we can support you in getting back on your feet and restoring the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black--”

“Oh, is that Fudge? You’ve met him, piece of incompetent drivel isn’t he? I’ve seen better leadership from a cream cracker. Excellent impression though.”

“Him and the wizengamot.”

“What? Are they worried you might try to seize their assets?”

“Or murder them.”

“I’d go with that,” she shrugged, giving Sirius a smile, “I was expecting you to be a little bit more…incoherent,” she leaned forward to rest her chin in her hand, “Don’t get me wrong, this is a very pleasant surprise, I was just prepared to talk to a wall.”

“Don’t get too confident just yet, give me an hour or so,” he said, pour water over two teabags, levitating cream over to the table. “Do you take sugar now or will milk do just fine?”

“Remembered that too. Impressive.”

Sirius flourished grandly, a big ta-da at how he was being praised for remembering how his cousin took her tea. Andromeda shook her head in amusement slowly taking a sip.

“I didn’t believe it, you know,” she said.

“Andromeda, we don’t--”

“No, I need you to know that I didn’t believe it. Sirius, you should have heard the fit Nymphadora threw when she found that out, met you and James exactly once when she was so young and was adamant. You need to know that I tried, and they were content to keep me out. Tried to drop my maiden name in there but they wouldn’t hear it.”

“It’s….what it is,” Sirius said, keeping his distance from his cousin as he leaned against the kitchen counter, back to the window so he was only looking at reflected light. His cousin, his favorite older cousin, so comforting and yet so unnerving all at once. Like trying to interact in a foreign language that hadn’t been used in years, tongue slipping around the vowels and consonants, ears drifting in and out, only every other word being recognizable, leaving Sirius wondering how to respond at all.

What do you say to someone who was apologizing for how things ended up when it wasn’t her fault in the slightest? When you didn’t want the apology in the first place?

“Why’d you write me?”

Sirius cleared his throat, “Uh…I’m a godfather,” he explained, hands gripping his mug tightly, hot liquid burning large, frail hands, “I have been, but now I actually get to make good on it and…uh, Harry--that’s his name, James and Lilys--I mean, I suppose you know that…Boy Who Lived or…something,” Sirius shifted his weight on his feet, “I get to be a godfather now and I’m sort of realizing I might have been a bit too hasty and…don’t know a damn thing about what to do. He’s thirteen, he’s a whole person. It’s not like when he was a baby and all I had to do was show up and hold him.”

That was the last thing Sirius did, and he spent thirteen years regretting leaving. Sirius should’ve stayed at Godric’s Hollow, in the shambles of the house, next to the bodies of his two best friends, and held onto Harry for dear life, with the same finger grip strength he was using now to climb an impossible cliff. Someone should’ve had to pry Harry from his hands.

“I don’t know what I’m doing and I probably shouldn’t be doing it,” Sirius said, “But I have to do it because I’m not going to let Harry down anymore, and--Andy he jumped at the chance to live anywhere else but the Dursleys. Knew I wasn’t a murderer for a total of an hour and was packing a bloody trunk. I know what that’s like…and--”

“Sirius…”

“I just know. And…I have to be better. And you’re my cousin, and you’ve kind of…already done this bit of raising a child. Raised me sort of…”

Andromeda looked at him, brown eyes narrowing behind heavy lids--the same ones Sirius had though his were grey and more haunted these days--setting her cup of tea on the table, “Do you want me to respond to this logically or do you want me to give you a hug?”

“The first, I think.”

“You want a kid? You want to be better? Clean this house or find a bloody different one that you want to clean. We have properties scattered around the country and you’re holed up here? Come on, use that big brain of yours to think and go someplace if you don’t want to stay here. Harry needs a room, probably one with windows. And, you need to sort yourself out. Your hair, your clothes, probably…everything else. I don’t imagine Azkaban was fun, and I know you’re not used to taking care of yourself but you have to at least pretend to know how for the sake of that kid. So shower, take care of your hair, your teeth, you can come to my home every day for dinner if you’d like so you can start eating again, I make a brilliant shepherd’s pie. You have to start somewhere.”

“Where?”

“You smell like a donkey, Sirius. Go shower. That’s where you start and…I’ll help you with what comes next. One thing at a time.”

“One thing at a time.”

“You were always the one who made the checklists….I remember when we packed for France? Were you like…maybe 10, and you’d have this perfectly written checklists so we’d all remember the appropriate number of pants and…you know, Cissa would follow it perfectly, and Bellatrix wouldn’t pay you any attention and you always got so frustrated with Regulus when he would throw in extra things just because,” she smiled a bit sadly, at the memory of their small family. What once was. “Make a checklist.”

“You’ll…be here?”

“While you shower? If I can do some dusting, this place is awful.”

“Just how I remember it.”

“That would be funny if it wasn’t so true…” she mused, leaning back in her chair.

“I meant…that you’ll be here. Harry needs some sort of cool-Aunt…one who throws tantrums at the ministry. And a cousin with…what color is her hair?”

“She likes it a sort of magenta these days,” she said, and paused, “I’m not going anywhere, Sirius.”

Andromeda cut his hair in the kitchen that night, shorter than he had had it since he was sixteen, and Sirius watched as it fell to the ground in unkempt tangles, suddenly able to think clearly for the first time since the world had started spinning around him.

Sirius didn’t announce his presence or his visit, still unsure whether every trip to Hogwarts warranted alerting Harry or if he could simply pass through like a ghost in the wall without him ever knowing. Doubting whether or not Harry actually would want to see him or if he had simply agreed to living with Sirius for the summer because it was better than The Dursleys. Which was an easy feat. Sirius knew the feeling of thinking a cardboard box on the side of the road in the middle of a hailstorm was better than going to a place with four walls and a roof but filled with people who couldn’t stand the sight of you; Sirius remembered what it was like to live in a place you were not welcome or wanted.

Bare minimum, Harry at least knew Sirius wanted him.

Bare minimum, Sirius at least knew Harry trusted him enough to live in a house with him. Though that didn’t necessarily mean Harry wanted to see him if he came to Hogwarts.

Besides, it wasn’t a social visit, despite Dumbledores attempts to make it one, Sirius biting back eyerolls when the older wizard called him my boy. Because Sirius, of course, wasn’t a boy when he was locked away in a cell at 21. Only now at 33 with a clear name was he worthy of the term.

Sirius went after classes, during dinner, so there wasn’t a chance of being spotted. Sirius saw the way witches and wizards on the street eyed him--unsure of the rumors published in the paper; wanting to form their own opinion on Sirius’s NOT GUILTY charges and WRONGFUL IMPRISONMENT; A MAN SCORNED--and knew students would be worse. Sirius didn’t mind scaring stuck-up shit’s; he cared about scaring student’s though.

He knocked on the door to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, the door magically opening, and he stepped in. Remus had made a home in that room, the better part of Sirius relieved that he wasn’t having to pack up for the summer. The Grindylow tanks and tiny bookshelf with “Take One for Fun” in the corner in Remus’s handwriting could stay and welcome Remus back in the Fall.

“Looks like you in here,” Sirius said, carefully walking into the room, avoiding cracks in the floorboards subconsciously. Remus turned around over his shoulder, slightly taken aback at Sirius--this version of Sirius standing in his classroom.

“Old and messy?”

Sirius laughed softly, scanning Remus’s appearance in new light. They hadn’t spoken since his trial. Sirius looked different now, with his short hair and skin that started turning golden olive the second he stopped spending all his days inside, integrating sunlight back into his life the same way he was with people. Perhaps Remus looked different in the early summer light compared to the dark of the ministry hearing room.

Oversized teaching robes were on the back of Remus’s desk chair, and he stood in front of Sirius in an off-white shirt, and brown waistcoat. Brown trousers. Loafers that should’ve been thrown away 12 years ago but Remus held onto.

Among other things. Unlike other things.

“Something like that,” Sirius shrugged, keeping his hands in the pockets of his jeans and stopping his walk in the middle of the room.

Sirius had never moved more unsure in the world than how he moved now as a recently freed man. Unsure of where he stood with his godson. Unsure of where to go with an ex-lover-boyfriend-almost fiance. Sirius wondered if the ring would still be in his old dresser.

“Thanks…for responding to my owl.”

“I haven’t heard from you,” Remus said, pulling down the sleeves of his shirt, though they were already at his wrists. They couldn’t go any further, but Sirius watched as worn, nimble fingers tugged, turning red at the tips. But the material wasn’t the same as all of the ragged knits from days passed, starched cuffs staying put no matter how much Remus pulled and wished it otherwise.

“That’s nothing new,” Sirius responded, unable to stop the barb from escaping his lips. Remus had spent 13 years not hearing anything from Sirius. Sirius disappearing again should’ve been a relief for Remus, a re-establishing of natural order. Homeostasis.

“You know…what I meant.”

“I did.”

“Where have you been?”

“Sorting out some things,” Sirius said tapping his fingers on top of one of the desks in Remus’s classroom. In another life, Sirius was already across the room with his arms around Remus, unbuttoning shirt sleeves, and holding fidgeting hands; in another life, Remus’s hands were in the pockets of Sirius’s jeans and they weren’t standing awkwardly across five, no six, rows of desks apart. Sirius could practically hear the blood running through Remus’s veins it was so quiet in the room. “Figuring out where to live…getting my vault back, paperwork.”

“I’ve also been…doing paperwork,” Remus gestured to the stack of what Sirius could only assume were exams or essays on top of Remus’s desk.

“Different sort, I think.”

“Was…yours as interesting as a third-year using the phrase “pissed off” in an essay?”

Sirius gave a weak smile, “Not quite. Number 12…had to take trip into my father’s study for where he kept the ledgers and books.”

“Riveting.”

“Mm. Nostalgic.”

“So you’ve…got money again.. That’s good.”

“I forgot how terrible you were at small talk.”

“I forgot how much you used to save me from my misery. Where have you been?”

“My Uncle had a property on the seaside that he left to me…It’s quaint,” Remus snorted--a Black’s version of quaint was different than most people’s, “and I’ve been cleaning it out and…decorating. Getting things in order for a teenager to come stay.”

“Harry?”

“You’ve got another one for me?”

“No,” Remus said, a smile tugging on his lips, “Are you sure?”

“I checked in with those muggles, Remus. I…went to get his things only to discover how little he owns and they are lucky I didn’t actually get myself sent to prison for murder.”

“That’s not funny.”

“It wasn’t a joke. Did you know?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not arguing with you about--”

“Its a question.”

“And I don’t have an answer you want to hear,” Remus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “So you have a place?”

Sirius exhaled through his nose, “Yeah, we do. It’s nice, I think. I’ve been outside..a lot. By the ocean, just…walking along it.”

Sirius had spent years listening to waves crash on rocks surrounding Azkaban. The only sound he could hear apart from rattling of the other prisoners and the footsteps of the guards.Screams. Maybe that's why Sirius chose that property in the first place--how odd was it to have to find a new home that reminded you of an entirely other home? What else could he call Azkaban but….home?

“It looks like it…you look good, Sirius.”

“Least I could do,” Sirius shrugged, dismissing the comment entirely. Sirius was largely avoiding his reflection, knowing that he still looked like a shell of someone he used to know despite having made changes. Despite the hollows of his cheeks filling out and the dental work that restored a straight smile and the jewelery that made Sirius’s tattooed hands recognizable.

“You’ll be there for the summer?”

“And longer, I think.”

“Okay.”

“I just…wanted to let you know. Where we would be and…”

“That’s it?”

“I can’t do this alone, Remus,” Sirius said finally closing the space between them. He sat on a desk closer to Remus, studying the new wrinkles on his face alongside freckles, “I…am…holding myself together, trying to anyway, and I am going to need all the help I can get, even if its help I don’t necessarily want…or from a person I…don’t know what to do with.”

It’s not about me. It’s about Harry.

“You want me to live with you?”

“Merlin, no. I…want you to answer my post.”

“I did that today, didn’t I?”

“Okay.”

“Funny thing about answering, Sirius, is….someone has to write it first.”

Sirius smiled a little, silently admitting to his own stubbornness before flicking his wrist, thankful for Black magic that lived in his veins, permeating his bloodstream and never losing strength even after thirteen years of lack of use. Wandless magic was the easiest thing that came back to him aside from brushing his teeth. A bit of parchment and a quill flew through the air, Sirius bending over to write out a short memo onto a desk before folding it into an airplane and shooting it the short distance to Remus.

“Really? You’re such a shit…”

“Yeah, they tried to beat that out of me in Azkaban but…didn’t exactly work,” Sirius shrugged and inclined his head, “Open it.”

Remus’s hands opened the note, Sirius only slightly aware of how those hadn’t changed at all. Long, slender, bitten and bruised. The same hands that used to brush Sirius’s hair off his forehead and cup his face for kisses; the same hand that would tangle into Sirius’s dark curls and fall below the waistband of his briefs. “Do you want to go have dinner? There’s a smaller place in the village that has a great glass of red wine.” Remus looked at Sirius, raising an eyebrow, “Are you buying?”

“Don’t I always?”

“Then yes.”

“And I’m the shit? Alright then.”

Usually, Harry got off the Hogwarts Express and was greeted, in the loosest sense of the word, by his Aunt and Uncle. Uncomfortable, scowling faces, looking around at the world Harry was beginning to plant roots in with distaste and disgust, and perhaps a bit of fear. Harry would struggle to lift his trunk into the back of the car, then would sit in the back seat, quietly looking out the window as they drove back to Surrey, ignoring the bumps in the pavement the same way he ignored comments from his Uncle and complaints from his cousin. He could feel every single bump in the road, but he couldn’t do a thing about it, so why bother?

This year, Harry stepped off the train and was scanning the crowd for something--someone--entirely different. He had a letter folded neatly into his pocket, that he took out to read more than a few times during the ride back to Kings Cross. To make sure it was real. As proof that someone would be there at all.

Harry,

Everything has been arranged with your Aunt and Uncle. I’ll be on the platform tomorrow to pick you up, assuming the train still runs on the same schedule.

Looking forward to the summer.

Sirius

They had been writing back and forth, nearly every day, the feeling of seeing an owl heading straight towards him and opening a piece of parchment to neatly scrawled cursive handwriting never getting old. Harry bit back smiles around his breakfast and continued as he thought of how to respond in the evenings. Harry was beginning to know a man through paper exchanges, but that was…not the same as knowing someone when they stood in front of you and the last time Harry had done that, the stakes were much higher.

Would he still care when everything had settled?

Sirius wasn’t hard to spot on the platform, and not only because of the space around him, other parents on the platform eyeing him with uncertainty, but because Sirius was perhaps the tallest person Harry had ever met. Harry gave a goodbye to his friends and walked towards Sirius, dragging his trunk behind him on the uneven platform, the grooves and knots in the surface mimicking how his heart felt. A bit seasick, a bit excited. As Harry got closer, images of the last time he had seen Sirius faded and a new man stood in front of him.

His dark hair had been cut short, though long enough that Harry could see curls and it was pushed out of Sirius’s eyes effortlessly; he wasn’t so pale, his once stick-thin frame filled out more. Sirius looked healthy, resembling more of the man from his parent's wedding photos, but this time he was in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and Harry was mesmerized by tattoos covering his arms and hands. Caught off guard by the jewelry on his fingers and the earring in his ear, but mostly by the way Sirius smiled when he saw Harry, his teeth a bright white and welcoming.

Harry was never given a smile on the platform when he got off the train, let alone one that was so kind and eased some of the anxiety pooling in his stomach.

“Hey Harry,” Sirius said when he was close enough.

“Hi,” he said, giving an awkward half-wave, unsure of how to proceed.

“All set?”

“Uh, I think so.”

Sir? Was Harry supposed to be polite? Was he being rude? Was Sirius’s smile going to fade quickly and be replaced with a frown Harry was accustomed to?

“Then we’ll get going, we do have a bit of a drive, but I’ve got dinner ready for us when we get there,” Sirius offered, “Mind if I help you with your trunk?”

What are you going to do with it?

“Uh…sure,” Harry watched as Sirius smiled again and bent down to grab the trunk handle from Harry. He had so many questions buzzing in his mind--where are we going? Where are we going to live? Do i have a room? Did i pack too much stuff? Do you have space? How are you? Can my Aunt and Uncle find me? How are we getting there?

Sirius started talking though, putting sunglasses over his eyes as they left the platform, and ventured out into the busier portion of King’s Cross. One hand on Harry’s trunk, one hand free and Harry wondered if that was going to be used to grab him the same way Uncle Vernon did. “Stay close to me, yeah? It’s always so busy here, never understood it…” he said, and he was still smiling, even after the weight of the trunk, slowing down his pace so Harry wasn’t running to keep up with long legs, “The house is on the beach, about an hour away. My Uncle bought it, the decent one, I’ll tell you about him if you’d like, it’s a muggle home but he put the magic in there, somehow. He did that with all his properties, there’s one tucked away in Greece and another one in London…” Sirius said, “It’s clean, not too big. I’m used to smaller spaces, and I thought…you might like it too. You’ll get your own room, of course.”

“Sounds…great.”

A house on the seaside. A room of his own.

“There are muggles that go down to the shore, but it’s removed enough that it’s quiet.”

A quiet house sounded like a specific brand of paradise.

Harry nodded, unsure of what to say, settling on, “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Harry,” Sirius said but Harry just shrugged, continuing to listen as Sirius filled in answers to questions Harry didn’t have the courage to voice out loud. It felt too good to be true. An entire summer with a man who had tattoos and a house on the seaside that was quiet and carried his trunk for him and--

“Is this your car?” Harry asked, eyes growing wide as a sleek black sports car came into view, Sirius flashing him a grin as the car let out a woop as it unlocked.

“That it is. Cool, isn’t it?”

“You drive?”

“Legally even.”

“It’s…not by magic?” Harry asked, watching in disbelief as Sirius loaded his trunk into the boot of the car, before opening the door on the passenger's side for Harry.

“I didn’t say that now. Your grandfather taught me to drive when I was seventeen, got the bike after but, I figured it didn’t hurt to have more than one means of transportation. I know the bike takes some getting used to.” His Uncle had driven something sensible. Something unremarkable. Harry slid into the passenger seat, taking stock of the leather seats and the center console with so many buttons Harry was afraid to move. Sirius got into the seat next to him, his smile never faltering.

“This,” Sirius gestured to a dial, “Is for the radio, whatever you’d like. If you get hot or cold, adjust the temperature…”

“Do I need…to…do anything?” Harry asked, feeling stupid as he did so, looking down at his lap, his face flushing. Suddenly the hem of his t-shirt was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Nothing at all. Enjoy the drive…take a nap if you want, I was always exhausted after the train rides, don’t ask me why though.”

Harry settled back against the seat, just enough to look comfortable, not enough to actually be comfortable as Sirius started the car, a tattooed hand reaching over to start the radio. It was quiet, some sort of classical station that made Harry bite back a grin.

“What?” Sirius asked, apparently noticing the half-smile, “Laughing at my music choice?”

His tone was light. Sirius wasn’t scolding him. It…sounded like a question.

“A…bit. Stuffy, isn’t it?”

Sirius gasped, and Harry lifted his head, Sirius still smiling as he kept his eyes on the road, sunglasses covering his eyes, “Stuffy? No. Posh…absolutely. I’ll teach you a thing or two about taste, Harry.”

Harry hid another smile, turning his head to look out the window, a piano melody in the background.

Quiet.

For me? This whole thing?

Harry’s words echoed in Sirius’s mind the following morning after their first night in their new home.

His Uncle had installed stain glass windows in the kitchen, that casted shades of aquamarine and a pale teal onto the white tile floors. Their kitchen was an ocean in itself and Sirius had come to find the sunlight a little less harsh with a barrier. Sirius had woken up that day practically floating, willing himself to take a few breaths and calm down before proceeding, reminding himself to take it one step at a time with rebuilding this life and rebuilding it alongside Harry. Harry’s bedroom wasn’t anything huge--something Sirius had fretted about briefly when deciding which property to live in--because no room could be big enough in Sirius’s mind. No size bedroom could ever make up for lost time, the clock in the kitchen ticking the same as the one left behind at Number 12.

This one though was handsome. Emerald green and gold, the ticking not so robotic.

The whole room was for Harry.

The whole house was for Harry.

Sirius prepared breakfast that morning, watching as the hands of the clock moved past half-seven and started drifting towards eight. He had written Andromeda that morning, as well as Remus, letting them know that the hour long car ride hadn’t ended in disaster, and Harry had gone to bed easily, Sirius walking into the average bedroom to see his godson asleep with the light on and his glasses on his face. Asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, just like James. Sirius was sitting at the table by the time he heard footsteps down the hallway, muffled by socks and Harry appeared, rubbing the back of his neck and stifling a yawn.

“Sorry for sleeping,” Harry said, walking into the kitchen, large t-shirt hanging around his frame and Sirius wondered how soon was too soon to force his teenage godson to the shops to buy some better clothes. Less than twenty-four hours? Would it feel like a criticism? Would it be welcome or simply just embarrassing?

“Don’t be sorry. Breakfast?”

Harry nodded hesitantly, waiting for a cue from Sirius to sit at the small rectangular table in the kitchen, across from the Sirius was in. Sirius gave him a small nod, hoping that was enough, silently cursing muggles in three different languages in his head.

“Did you sleep okay?” Sirius asked, “Everything comfortable?”

“Everything’s great,” Harry told him, “Thank you.”

“Think you’ll want to keep that room?”

“I promise it’s great, Sirius.”

Sirius paused, trying a different tactic, “See, I prefer it dark when I sleep because if theres too much light, I wake up. Now…your Dad? At school? Loved the curtains flung wide open so he could wake up with the sun--” at mention of his father Harrys face started changing. Illuminated by a small smile, “Professor Lupin? Somewhere in the middle. I suppose…I’m just asking if you’d want to change the room at all. Because you…can have preferences.”

Harry nodded slowly and Sirius stood up from the table to start preparing breakfast.

“I…like the sound of the waves.” Harry said after several moments of silence, Sirius half wondering if he had fucked this arrangement up already.

“I do too.”

#i guess a happy sirius and harry sunday #sirius black #harry potter #work in process #but not actually es done

119 notes · View notes

tsukiyadori · 11 days

Text

Reading Log 2024.04 - April

Previous: Reading (Watching) Log 2024.02-2024.03 - February-March

Reading languages: German, English, French, Japanese, not listing which was what

Titles are as I’ve read them either first or most and thus remember it for that title mostly

Not going to bother putting in the original titles of translated reads unless there is something worthy of note to it

Cursive titles have been completed

Some notes' content may be subject to repetition here and there as I also copied some older notes from casual conversations over and didn't go though any rounds of cutting things down.

——————————————————————————

APRIL

I now have a new phone lockscreen wallpaper. (It's from How to Survive as a Villain's webtoon a.k.a. To Be or Not to Be chapter 71). The moon being pretty, and a thing for me is kinda self-explanatory given my alias names, but usually you find images with moons to have them being all on the upper part of the image, because obviously moons are up there in the sky. However, for phone lock screens this is incredibly unpractical, because on the upper part is the time display and that one's white... So this one is perfect with the moon not being on the upper part but the lower part of the image. I wonder what blossoms there are supposed to be. I'd guess peach blossoms (with the village being called literally Peach Blossom Village, but wasn't it supposed to be summer in that timeline? And peach blossoms bloom in March to April.)

I found out that you can add any number of tags, but tumblr kicks everything bar the first 30 somethings upon saving and among those displayed only the first 20 actually will count for showups if you want to filter posts with that hashtag. Or like search on the phone app. What the heck. What do you mean I need to actually choose the most important ones now each time. D:

Maybe I should try do monthlies after all, so there won't be as many tags to begin with.

I feel like this is gonna just be a rambling about one particular series this month anyway...

I have learned something new this month. The Chinese have a slang word called 'dog blood'. It's apparantely coming from theater where death scenes were enacted with dog blood and first was about extended nonsensical farewell speeches of death scenes but eventually expanded to describe all sorts of cheap cheesy lines in general. Or in other words, this is basically synonymous to what I call bad, rotten or trash cheese.

Light Novels:

7th Time Loop v2

Brunhild v1-2

By the Grace of Gods V12

Dragon Live Online p8-11.5

Hell Mode v3p1-3

How to Survive As a Villain Novel ch46-57, ch181-183, Ch58-75, ch209-210, ch206, ch196, ch76-136 (and some other random scene cheery picks completely out of order)

Is it wrong to pick up Girls in a Dungeon v9

Mushoku Tensei v1p1-6

The Case Files of Jeweler Richard v13p15-56

The Eminence in Shadow v2p6-8

The Executioner and Her Way of Life v1

The Faraway Paladin v1-2

The Saint's Magic Power is Omipotent LN v2p1-v3p6

Unnamed Memory After the End v1p16-22

Unnamed Memory LN v1p1-2

Wolf and Parchment v4-5

Your Forma v4

Manga:

Aiko und die Wölfe des Zwielichts v1-3

Ano Natsu ga Houwa suru. ch17

Are You Okay with a Slightly Older Girlfriend? Ch2.4-16.1

August 15th

Buta no Liver wa Kanetsushiro ch35.1-2

Dance in the Vampire Bund The Memories of Sledgehammer v2ch5-8

Delinquent Daddy & Tender Teacher v3

Domestic na Kanojo v5-8

Don't Call Me Daddy

Ein schicksalhafter Bund mit dem Fuchs v1-v2ch11

Fake it to Break it Ch1-8.3

Feng Yu Jiu Tian ch1-4

Flying Witch v11-12ch73

Get the Moon

Goblin Slayer The Singing Death v4ch16-19

Goblin Slayer Year One v8

Goblin Slayer v12

Hallo, ich bin eine Hexe und mein Schwarm wünscht sich einen Liebestrank von mir v3ch15

Hiso Hiso v4-6

How I Attended an All-Guy's Mixer Ch1-4

In Sachen… Geheimnisse (v3)

In Sachen… Vertrauen (v2)

Intoxicated East Wind Skimthrough

Iron Cock Skimthrough

Isekai Transporter ch1-4

Isekai de Ane ni Namae wo Ubawaremashita ch18.1

Kakan no Oukoku no Hanagirai Hime ch12.3-13.1

Kakko Warukute Kakkoii Kimi v1

Ki ga Au to Iu Koto wa v1

Kijima-san & Yamada-san Ch17.3-24.2

Knitter's High ch27.1-2

Koisuru (Otome) no Tsukurikata ch82-83

Kono Koi wo Hoshi ni wa Negawanai ch12.3-13.1

Korsar der Liebe v1-3

Like Milk & Honey v1-2

Living With My Brother's Wife Ch12-15-48

Lonely Castle in the Mirror v1-3

Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimama na Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsusuru ch31

Maid-san wa Taberu dake ch48

Mein Isekai-Leben v1-v4ch12

Mir dir im Wunderland v2 (ou of order read)

Miryou no Otome to Katabutsu Hittou Majutsushi no Hatsukoi Kiroku bangaihen3-4

My Awkward Senpai Ch71-75

My Elder Sister v5-6ch44

My Not-So-Fair Lady is Doomed! (But Not If I Can Help It) Ch1.1-4.1

My Roommate is a Cat v6-8ch24

My Unexpected Marriage Ch1-10.2

Okazari Ouhi ni Nattanode, Kossori Hataraki ni deru koto ni Shimashita ~Usagi ga Iru no de Hitorine mo Sabishiku Arimasen!~ ch25.2-26.4

On or Off v1-4

Rebirth Two Lives I Still Love You ch0-2

Ryuko v2

Sasaki & Peeps v1

Shuumatsu Touring ch37.1-2

Soko ni Suwaruna

Suicide Notes Laid on the Table Ch20-35.1

The 6th Loop: I'm Finally Free of Auto Mode in this Otome Game Ch1.1-3.2

Tokyo Aliens v7ch29-33

Unamed Memory ch36.1-2

Watashi wo Tabetai, Hitodenashi ch38.1-3

Yomei Ichinen to Senkokusareta Boku ga, Yomei Hantoshi no Kimi to Deatta Hanashi ch11.1-2

Webtoons:

Breed my Dear Enemy Ch182-194

Fall in the Night with You Ch72-73

Flowers in the Secret Place Ch89-155

Her Atypical Story Ch0-5

Ice Lamp: The Chronicles of Kira Ch45-48

Taberare Usa ch99-101

The Blind & The Homeless Ch8-42

The Goddess of Healing Ch67-79

To be or not be Ch24-95

Notes:

To Be or Not to Be (reread on Comikey in progress): So well, the first time was a bit not as attentive and then too quick on binge last month so I simply started from the beginning again. And it's so funny in hindsight that it took me until starting the novel to realized this fellow is just about as aroace as you can be (who slowly drops into a demi-romance). Like, I should have had caught the hint latest with this:

(Difference between a brotherly love or one between lovers)

This is, if you think about it, not the sort of question you'd normally ask, especially not when somebody just confessed to you and there is no homophobia theme nor desperate denial at play, and you don't even doubt that it's meant seriously and can even see that the feelings are genuine. It's.... totally a question I'd also ask, tho. No wonder, this entire progression of that romance and him taking so long to catch on just felt so plausible to me.

Other than that, I still think the first season (up to their first separation) is a pretty great adaption, it takes shortcuts and adds some more flourish at places. The second and third seasons however, after reading the novels now feel excruciatingly chopped, although it still manages to do the most important scenes right. But much of its worldbuilding and side characters is just gone, and some things are still there but don't exactly make any sense - like that hairband from eunuch Zhao that snapped, it ever was only shown intact in the webtoon, but when Xiao YuAn goes to bury his box of mementos there is Hong Xiu's hairpin this broken hairband. Or the list of names of fallen soldiers. Other little changes make sense, and some just seem clunky. (Like this whole "I want to bed him" in the last arc has an entirely different vibe considering they had been at it before already unlike in the novel.) And my complaint after the first read that the last third just seems way too focused on the two MCs with zero inclusion of the side characters or expanding the world, the novel in fact is like that still in that arc, but it already has done all that in the second season, which was nearly entirely cut in the webtoon (or if you look really closely there are some one-liners or random panels showing it) and does some more in the extras, which the webtoon doesn't adapt. Still it does get many of the most important scenes right and the art remains pretty. (Except the last third still has me had this eyelashes issue. Whyyyy.)

How to Survive As a Villain Novel ch46-57, ch181-183, Ch58-75, ch209-210, ch206, ch196, ch76-136 (and some other random scene cheery picks completely out of order): When you go like, let's read it slowly so it lasts longer!! and that even works, but then you just start reading backwards and then all across all over the place out of order anyway. Oh, well....

I already got some clear aroace moods with Xiao YuAn in the beginning that I read last month but upon reading on.... this fellow's really about as aroace as you can be without naming it. It even goes all the length of establishing him as somebody who doesn't understand it at all, has to ask about it, and questions the veracity of the answer at places. (And I still think the "sexual orientation" bits on the official character bios on both him and Yan HeQing are a complete riot. 😂) They both look very demi to me; if that original novel is to still apply Yan HeQing falls for somebody who extends their hand when he's in anguish and suffering and over that emotional attachment he develops feelings (and then it's a dam breaking). For Xiao YuAn it's obviously very slow burn and building one little pebble atop another until a wall that makes him feel safe has been built.

What I thought was incredibly interesting tho, Xiao YuAn still comes off as pretty ace even after all is said and done. And he doesn't exactly know it - he continues to live with a misconception that's just incredibly widespread and not known. In that same scene from the above webtoon snippet he asks Yan HeQing what sort of like/love is he even refererring to. Does he know the difference, is it a brotherly/comradery feeling or one between lovers. That's also what is in the webtoon in Chinese (I actually went to check that one out), but the novel (which scene I also went to check out, at least what web version I could find in Chinese) has him be much more crude and to the point to put that question between that brotherly like/love or if it was one where Yan HeQing would want to have sex with him. (Which he answers rather clearly as having very much some voracious appetite for him in that respect, the answer is still there in the webtoon.) Now put this next to each other. That's his idea: The love of lovers is something that includes sexual desire. Sound familiar? Uhu. He even suggests in lieu of answering him that they simply do the deed. In order to learn and find out. The man's got some very wrong ideas right there. A few of them seem way too dumbly familliar.

The hilariously funny part is, Xiao YuAn proceeds to be incredibly unhinged about this spice stuff afterward. He is going for it, he does the most outrageous things, but he does them in a way that just feels entirely clueless or he realizes just how extreme they are after it's already done or shortly about to be done and he reflects on it and feels incredibly stupid. And most of all, if he causes a dam break in Yan HeQing who, all seduced and riled up, can't help but eat him up rather ravenously he always winds up wailing for him to please stop, because kinda, he didn't have that in mind at all so much. It's like he never really is aware of what he's gonna get himself into and doesn't really learn his lessons either. But also, once he gets touched, he is plenty able to feel sexual pleasure, he doesn't exactly hate it. It's just... it seems more like a passive body reaction, a sort of being okay with it, rather than an innate desire out of attraction? He never seems actually thirsty for it (unlike Yan HeQing who is incredibly straving for it, but knows it and restrains himself constantly.)

He's the first to initiate and propose them doing it and is notoriously stubborn about getting Yan HeQing to do it, but also says it's not like he is in a hurry (or like coming off as badly wanting it because of an actual proper desire like Yan HeQing always has), but it's just he feels like they'd never get the right timing to do it at all otherwise. It makes him sound desperate, like he feels a duty to actually do it and guilty for not doing it, almost as if he has to prove something. And whenever Yan HeQing kinda distances himself from him for whatever reason his go to is to try seduce him and break his self-control for forced up intimacy. (And then just winds up regretting it, because it's too much.) And it seems to entirely not align with what he actually wants and needs most fo have exactly that connection he seeks. After that last dramatic reunion in the third part where Yan HeQing is so out of himself and selfcontrol he wants him so badly tied to bed and everything like those innermost desires he once told him (but never actually executed like that, because he doesn't want to hurt him), Xiao YuAn instead just wants to hug him. He's wanting physical intimicy, but it's more about lying in one another's arms for a peaceful sleep. Every single time when he's still oblivious to it all, but clearly already attached, he just has Yan HeQing accompany him to spend some quality time together. He's the one who wants to have dates even as they weren't named such and even has to explain that thing about it's simply to just spend some good time together to him. (All the while Yan HeQing is so thirsty wanting to steal kisses from him.) And whenever he fawns over the man, it's kinda suspiciously in just aesthethic ways...? (well for what I've read anyway.)

30% of it feels more like a sort of playfulness, a sort of stubborn competition, fueled by those "tyrannical president" antics, which trope he entirely is not, but spent his entirely past life being forced into being and still very much influences his thought process. Almost as if if he doesn't get Yan HeQing to jump at him, it's like he is lacking in attractiveness, something that chips away at his self value. Another 30% is him appearing like he considers it the thing to be done, almost as if he owes it to him, especially as he knows that Yan HeQing's wants in that regard run much deeper and notorious. Yet another 30% is him kinda just enjoy everything before the actual act. Like as if getting him to do it is the goal rather than actually doing it. He clearly enjoys the teases to break Yan HeQing's defenses, his self-control, his stoism. And even as he knows some of his things are kinda outrageous, he, to some extend, still enjoys them. It's kinda the same thing with his fixation on terrible tropes and cheesy lines and everything 'dog blood', it's excruciatingly terrible, all trashy, but he can't help but also kinda look forward to it. The last 10% are... really just him having no darn clue. Like however did he think that red silk bondage was a good idea??? 😂 Maybe I should not laugh as me, surely I'd be just as dumb myself if it ever came to be...

Other than that I quite like how the isekai/transmigration thing plays out.

Xiao YuAn doesn't really get to be all OP or a sort of cheater because of being from a modern world - that is not as a plot device. There are some indications and little details that he does bring in some modernization, like proposing that meritocratic exams system the actual historical China also has had, but it's never really played as a plot point that flaunts his superior knowledge or anything. What he ultimately winds up tackling - corruption, decandency - are things entirely the same still in the modern word and he's also struggling with it all the same as he would in any modern world as well. He knows the future by the plotline, but beyond having a better grasp at insight to their character and be nice to them Hamefura-style, it's at the same time also kinda the obvious thing to do as a decent person. And he's having plenty ability to have an insight on human nature and getting other people liking him even without the cheat skills from the novel plot as his time in the TaoYuan village proves.

I still absolutely do not like that bit about Xiao YuAn's brother, he just remains a complete plot device, but that the doppelgänger from Wester Shu gets to wake up in the modern world as him to improve on his own depression and helplessness was a nice touch. (One the webtoon should have rather have, when it had them actually have a conversation with each other, rather than how in the novel Xiao YuAn only every saw him from a distrance and asked about him. He remained a completely stranger there, so him kinda not having as much compassion to upkeep his past identity's honor seems more plausible. Especially as he's introduced as a good guy, unlike that Nothern emperor who is a scummy villain (and then even he got to have a little bit pity left for him by the original book's ending for him with is love affair.))

That and how it's part of how Xiao YuAn has a few deep seated traumata and in that way that they don't seem obvious at all, because he drowns it all in his smiles, his goofy riduculousness, his apparant ability to just let grudges go when all he does is just to bury them and run away. All that load, it didn't just magically disappear in his new life, no, they come to wreck him even in this new world. He has baggage and a new life doesn't magically fix it nor is this fantasy escapism world it the solution to it in the end. How many isekai tales actually make use of this oppotunity to add some more emotional development? We never really learn much about how he lived his life in the modern world, but little insight is there only describes titbits to establish the origins. But it was never really addressed in his childhood and it wasn't cured at all either, nor is it likely that it's curable at all. Those scars are there and with his futile struggles they only got worse culmating in his rash and terrible decisions. What ultimately keeps it in check and just puts a lid on it without erasing it, is being showered with that love he was missing his entire life by Yan HeQing and his found family in the village and also realizing how the easy way out of it has devastating consequences.

Speaking of that found family, it's really too bad, that got cut so much in the webtoon. While there is still a tinge of it with Lin Shengling getting all touched that Xiao YuAn's place is kinda his maiden home of sorts and Xiao YuAn and all accepted in that village with really close bonds with especially the Zhan family, which family to begin with is a patchwork family. Yang LiuAn and Xiao FengYue kinda become brothers of sorts to him, and old lady cohabitating with them is a sort of motherly aunt there. There's just no ill will in that village (which is its whole point with being kinda called a little paradise on earth.) And also it's just got these beautifully blossoming trees. (Now are those peach blossoms or not??)

Oh and speaking of found family and all closeness and intimicy that there is and which is being perfectly aknowledged as something Xiao YuAn holds dear and misses and seems just so attractive, even as he is perfectly fine with living in the capital with Yan HeQing, which the latter also perfectly respects and encourages. There is also this bit in the extras about Hong Xiu, how it was Xiao YuAn, who tended to her worst fears she never expected anyone to expect and treated her with gentleness, a sort of she hadn't phantomed to ever get. And as the man speaks fondly and caring about her and Yan HeQing get jealously concerned over "do you like her", Xiao YuAn is all he's probably jealous about the girl again, but also that Hong Xiu never was part of of his harem. And then he has this to say to him:

Way to just get things right. (And she definitely ripped a hole into his heart, once she was gone and even keeps visiting her grave years later. Also really too bad that the afterwards about how curruption cut short his support for her family forcing her sister to become a maidservant, too.)

Other than that I just want to scream: Why could I not discover this a mere two darn month earlier?! That the pre-orders for that Singapore Rosmei edition is already closed and me not having entirely any idea at all how to get it anymore sours me, doesn't help at all, that apparantely that edition is gonna get some new unrelease extra chapter (although that is to be in v3, so technically I won't be missing that one............ whenever the other two volumes are going to be released anyway.) Apparantely there's even another chapter exclusive to some Chinese Edition from a publisher called Via Lactea and I have absolutely no idea how that one's supposed to look and how to get it. And to learn this right when I pondering about looking for some Chinese proxy for getting the books in Chinese, too, now obviously I want that edition to learn what that extra chapter is about. Hhhhnnnng. (Apparantely there's also a Spanish edition licensed with the art of the Rosmei edition, but I know no Spanish...)

Other than that, I still riducilously miss out on those footnotes the aggregator sites have just went and killed. Also, I just found out that the one single site that had the extras beyond chapter 210 kinda did some move and the entire title has vanished from that one's new site. With that there's porbably no place to read the fantraslation of it anymore. (At least for that one I had the epiphany of going though all the chapter sites to make a safecopy last week, I don't really want to know how dkfhkdjfhkjdfh I would have been, if I missed out on reading them just like that from one day to the other.)

In any case, this one as rekindled my interest in the Chinese language, too. Linguistically/writing style speaking this novel is also highly up my alleways. It's chock full with idioms (I image them to be complete utter pain to translate), historical references in those idioms, but also it has all that meta stuff about tropes and everything along with modern slang usage. And it's just having the right amount of twinkling parody of tropes, indulging just enough in it for some guilty pleasure but still managing to have an well build up emotional rollercoaster plot of its own that dances with Xiao YuAn's goofy ludicrousness at times in one hand and heavy hitters in the other. And considering, that it has not newly invented any wheel whatsoever - about every single element in there is something that on its own you can find elsewhere as well - but still manages to get me this invested into it is kinda rather impressive.

Speaking of impressive---

Mein Isekai-Leben a.k.a. My Isekai Life v1-v4ch12: Now that on the other hand is an entirely different sort impressive, or more like, I am astounded by it. Which is to say if I had to use one word to descibribe it it's 'listless'. This is an incredibly listless OP MC cheat skills power-fantasy. It's also... incredibly boring. Brainless. Everything you get to see here is something that has been done elsewhere in way, way better already. I only read all those vols because I just happened to have them there and then I just kept going after the first volume because I wanted to know how in the world is this managing to survive at all. It's a manga adaption of a light novel, both are sitll ongoing and runnning. How does this manage to be this reasonably popular to warrant this??? (After v4 I still didn't really know, so I gave up.)

Wolf and Parchment v4-5 (5 sitll in progress): Ok, so volume 4 was kinda okay in the end, not so much a slog anymore, although the the conversation between Even and Col about how Col would definitely go and prioritize Myuri was pretty interesting, putting into question how long he's gonna last to stick to his he's gonna be a priest and not just take Myuri's handand he's still all that's never gonna happen. (Like hell it won't?!) Then volume 5 started and I was kinda blown by surprise over that bit about them being in this weird space of having a bond, about how she keeps calling him brother despite also saying she is romantically in love with him, because there is no other way to qualify this at all and him also realizing the weird place he is with his attachement to her, too and then the whole crest thing is there, and how every single one involved with it immediately understands it's significance. Something for them, only the two of them, something special, but it's not lovers or marriage. Something else. And it's also hard to get, because how in the world are you gonna explain two people with no tangible relation neither blood nor marriage, wanting to share a crest together? are you just gonna pretend something that pleases general plausibility, while it kinda contradicts its actual purpose? Owoooh, how cool is that. I suppose I really had no trust in this series (or media in general) that this wasn't going down your bog standard romance route.

The Case Files of Jeweler Richard v13p15-56 (that's somewhere into chapter 2): I am making some progress in reading that one off, but admittedly even I am surprised how slow going it is sonsidering how hyped I was about it before its release and then put it off for health reasons because I totally expected I'd just binge with in a marathon with no regard to sleep and food. If I had to put a finger onto it, it's kinda, the first chapter wasn't exactly uninteresting, but also really not very getting be invested either. The second chapter just entirely starts of with discomfort with having this Chinese classmate sobbing about how he is terrible in school and his father is livid about it and just the general vibes of Chinese mentality. Like. Ouch. And it also immediately stiffled my interest in Chinese again that How to Survive as a Villain has sparked up again. Distancing from that language is kinda like distancing from that general mentality for me and looks like I still can't really separate them enough to just enjoy the language without having the culture behind it poison me.

Unnamed Memory After the End: Still very much at the start, but it docks onto where the first series stops before the grand time skip. It also just picks up on a few things that were left unaddressed in its second half. And here is me wondering, if Myralis and Valt will show up again or not. How it ended for them - which by world mechanics has to be a bad end and then they don't even get mentioned - still feels narratively very unfair to me, with all the effort spent on describing their motives and backstory.

Flowers in the Secret Place - finished: This is another series I just read though chapters over chapters wondering why even, until it kinda went decent enough somethiing around chapter 70? from 155 chapters. The only reason I looked into it was because the art is kinda decently pretty. The reason I made it across the first chapter was that.... the MC wears bunny hair ties. Yes, stupid reason, but here we go. The male MC is possitively annoying, the second male lead is much more interesting but takes a whole while to pick himself up. The backstory and its resulting triangle constellation actually winds up being decently interesting.

Rebirth Two Lives I Still Love You ch0-2: Same author as How to Survive as a Vilain, different artist, which... doesn't look exactly bad, but not even half as appealing. This one's also not Isekai, but Regression. Also it looks incredibly cheese. Motivations for reading on were a bit low, but maybe it just takes a bit? Knowing me I will check it out anyway...

My Unexpected Marriage Ch1-10.2: This isn't even an Isekai, but it uses the Isekai cheat skill trick of using some pretty modern contemporary things and common sense, put them into an Ancient-y setting to make everything run overly smoothly for the MC. In terms of plot and characters I cannot say I am wowed. Nevertheless, it is set in Ancient China-ish of a setting and even if the female MC's big eyes innocent gentle shoujo face kinda clashes with the rest, there is definitely some effort spend on all the wardrobe and ornaments. It's pretty enough to keep going. The mystery plot that points to court intrigue is okayish enough, too.

Mushoku Tensei v1p1-6: The way the horny is put in really is a bit "...", there it really just goes, does an overly genuinely touchy feely monologue about how someone is great and how the guy is emotionally touched and everything, only to destroy it with the twist that he stole her unwashed panties. It was a whole block of text about how in his previous life he was a shut in a loser, somebody with serious problems, social anxiety and getting out of the house issues included and the girl took him out for a magic exam, insisted it had the out there and he really is unconfortable with it, you can get really into how this little bit is just a major milestone for him, something nobody in his old life has managed or even tried. But then it just had to goe like and then he remembered that he still had those unwashed panties in his room that he had stolen some month ago. Argh.

At least that horny father seems to have at least some punches to get, and the setup of this guy being a completely loser, but actually it's not like he always was, he was even better but never learned modesty and that being his entire downfall out which he has now learned. This character is a pretty well set up antihero, he is all sorts of terrible, but in that one moment where Truck-kun came he pushed that whoever away with no regards to himself. (and it doesn't get flaunted as that one big good deed.) He also helped Sylphie, and that started without any horny ulterior motives either. (I was half wondering there actually if, with all that attraction to her, when he still thought she was a he was opening up some queer route, but looks like not.) He, at the bottom of his heart, does not seem to be a bad guy, and he has some serious baggage, that he is trying to treat himself with this new life and gets the occasional unintentional help. Will be interesting how his own inhibitions and knowledge about all the bad things of himself bring him on the road to serious betterment. But then also. He is already entirely, totally hopelessly horny cringe.

Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimama na Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsusuru a.k.a. 7th Time Loop ch31: (That's the chapter about Arnold and Rishe talking about the ring, once it was delivered). I wanted to scream at Arnold and Rishe rocks with giving him a piece of her mind like that and also totally underestimates the amount of heart flutter she gets into when she goes and gives the man such a free pass to court her. A very wide load of good faces.

Intoxicated East Wind, Iron Cock, August 15h, Feng Yu Jiu Tian: Stuff from the artist of How to Survive as a Villain's webtoon from some 10 years prior. You know when you like one thing of somebody and then go check out the rest? And then you find out it's dubCon, nonCon, rapey, horny porny whatevers and melp. And by the translator's note from August 15th, apparantely that title is some slang euphemism for buttocks. Because the moon is the roundest on that date, so it's the perfect moon so it's buttocks. I'm like what? The art also look nowhere nearly as good as the artist is able to be pull off in How to Survive as a Villain. I wonder if they are going to have some new work. Couldn't find anything from after its end in 2022.

Don't Call Me Daddy: Nice to have some adult characters there. Like adult and then elderly. And how homophobia has wrecked their life, but it's not even the main theme. Again some discussion about different sorts of wants, but uh, the one that solves that one was that guy getting... a boner from a kiss? Huh. What would ye have done, if he didn't? (Well probably that would have been an entirely different story I guess...)

Domestic na Kanojo v5-8: Collection of notes made upon/right after reading the vols:

v5: Let's continue the exhibition of the worst of cheese afflictions. But I did not see that escalation downwards coming... okay, cheese affliction puts other people into danger, both intentionally and unintentionally... Actually the latter case is even worse as it is a danger of livelihood one... ....... ok, wait, isn't this already sexual harrassment now???

v6: Just go for them both already, those sisters don't even look like they'd mind it that much.

v7: Your cheese affliction is gonna ruin your life.

v8: So, now we have blackmail, coercion, extortion and a kidnapping as well as faking somebody's identity without their knowledge nor permission. Alright….

….. this however

(Title: How to recover, panel 1: My humble self has a bun, panel 4: RESSURECTED, the bun: HAND OVER THE SNACKS)

.............. is just some supreme truth out of complete nowhere.

Are You Okay with a Slightly Older Girlfriend? Ch2.4-16.1: I thought this was called into quesitonability because of the age gap and at the beginning I had some qualms, because she is outright deceiving him, but that gets wrapped up quickly enough and then I thought it was just gonna be cheese with age unsecurities, but I suppose if those massive boobs didnt alrealy make an indication, this thing's just way to much flaunting them and playing the horniness bits in way too much of an extremely.... kinda dumb way. With a tint of seriously thinking about these issues. (Also mentions of kink and no shaming allowed there, that sister knows how to enforce authority.) And that makes it both hard to outright drop, but also a pain to suffer though...

Brundhild v1-2: Volume 1, 'Dragon Slayer" is a revenge story out of titular Brunhild's love for the gentle and wise dragon, who is killed, gone haywire. She does all her misdeeds wholly aware for what they are and how innocents are getting in the crossfires and how it'll land her in hell - where she can never be together with the dragon again who went to paradise and had very much warned her to not go for revenge when he fully knew he was gonna get slain. She… is kinda, well, yandere isn't the right word, but she definitely is very much badly obsessed by things and worst she knows it herself, that the one she loves doesn't want it and still doesn't stop. I can't say I was wowed, but maybe that's partly because I read it in French and for the second half I was in deadline before expiry pressure and forced it though without looking up a bunch of words I wasn't too sure of. It feels pretty conclusive, so volume 2 'Dragon Princess' at first was incredibly confusing, with it having a Brunhild as a MC again and also some other guy having the same name as v1 Brunhild's brother. And suddenly the dragon is an evil one. Was wondering, if it was some sort of reincarnation next life plot, but then the personality of the characters are very different. Eventually it turns out to be a prequel. V1's Brunhild and her brother were names after the characters of v2 who lived centuries before them and in her family those famous names were often bestowed to children again. V2 I think is pretty good, interesting characters, has some more side characters, very good world building, again a love story but it's entirely different, also very much different ending and lore and it twists your expectations for the world coming from v1 and then actually winds up explaining v1's worldbuilding, which in v1 I thought that outside of the dragon island on its own was, uh, kinda, yeah, it's sorts of just there?

V2 also has a side character who suffers from not feeling love of any kind and having little empathy. Yet he is not entirely unfeeling either and he can be very much devoted looking much the part almost as if there was love. It looks a lot like it's the usual story about yeah and then this magnificent awe inspiring good natured lady is gonna make him find those traits again. It ultimately does not play out this trope the way you'd expect and I thought that it had the galls to do that was downright courageous.

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eggcompany · 11 days

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Jaskier and his Snuggly Wuggly Killing Machines Part 5

“I’ll show you your rooms but then it’s straight to the bath! You’ve got grass and dirt all over you! Dirty boys.” Jaskier said as he stepped up the final stair. There were five doors. One was grey, Jaskier’s bedroom. One was a clean glossy white, the bathroom. And three were plain white, the boys’ rooms.

“Our rooms ?” Eskel said and peaked around to look at Jaskier’s face. Jaskier smiled and turned to face them when he had his hand on the first doorknob.

“Of course darlings. Everyone deserves some privacy. I have my room, you all have your rooms. Now this is… Geralt’s.” Jaskier said as he opened up the door. The wide eyed fluffy wolf walked into his room in front of his brothers. Geralt gasped. They all stood and gawked. The walls were a calming space blue and the floor was covered in an amazing plush carpet. There was a full sized bed covered in a big duvet that had a moon and stars pattern on it along with matching pillows, (four pillows!) and a plushie that was a cute super soft black rabbit. There was a plain blue heavy duty plastic bin in one corner and cubbies on one wall that held blue and grey bins. And finally there was a TV up on the wall.

“Th-this i-it’s for me? Just me? You did it for me? It’s mine?” Geralt asked and started to tear up. Eskel and Lambert looked at each other. This is what Bear got? What do we get?

Geralt ran over and hugged his daddy. Jaskier smiled and hugged him back tightly.

“Yes darling. Now you can look around while I show your brother’s theirs.” Jaskier said and pulled away from Geralt, who started to look around. At the toys in the bin, the clothes, the balls and yoga mat under the bed. Jaskier pulled the other two toward the other doors and they could hear Geralt squeal.

“Eskel darling this is yours.” Jaskier said as he threw open the door. Lambert looked like he was attached to an electric wire, he looked so excited.

“Oh my gods… daddy did this for me?” Eskel said quietly and walked across the squishy mats on the floor. He looked around with bright eyes and a still tail. He looked at the toy bin and started wagging a smile as it all started to set in. He bounced up and down as he looked at the pretty red pattern on his wall and the big fuzzy bed. He gasped and looked over at the only slightly full bookcase.

Jaskeir took Lambert's hand and walked him to the last room. Lambert was purring and smiling.

“My room! My room! It’s my room isn’t it? Is it my room, daddy? Daddy is it my room?” Lambert said quickly and excitedly. Jaskier nodded and as he opened the door Geralt walked out of his with a chew ring in his mouth and walked to Eskel’s.

Lambert let out a loud long high pitched noise that could be a meow or a whine. He shaked and wagged and smiled and flapped his hands around while looking around. He look in the plush carpet that was almost identical to Geralt’s but was a dark green and the carpet that went up the wall and the pastel wallpaper. He wanted to jump on to the big bed that had so many colorful quilts and pillows on it but he didn’t because he’s dirty. He squealed and laughed when he noticed the scratchy poles in two of the corners and the pile of toys in the other corner. He also gasped when he noticed the TV.

Jaskier smiled and watched the youngest discover for a while. After they had a little bit of time he stepped back and whistled, calling each boy to come out and look at him. He clapped quietly.

“Bathtime Witchers. Shuck off and pile your dirties in this basket.” Jaskier said and stood in front of the bathroom door with one of their dirty laundry baskets.

All three smiled and pulled their clothes that the center sent them home in, plain white shirts and grey scrub like pants. Jaskier couldn’t help ogling a bit. Each of them were splattered with scars. Over their very lovely nice big huge really really perfect muscles. Jaskier looked at the scars, bite marks, cuts, broken bones maybe? There were just so many. He should ask while they were in the bath. As soon as their pants were shucked Jaskier put the basket outside the door and opened it.

“Now, only one at a time but when you get out or before you can sit on the floor. Just sit on a towel, okay babies?” Jaskier said as he grabbed two towels and put them on the floor near the door. There was still a good four feet between the towels and the bath. The boys looked over at the caddies on the sink. And were chattering to each other and smiling and wagging with their ears high above their heads

“Those are your bathroom baskets! We can keep them here or in your rooms or wherever. I keep mine in my room. There’s a comb, a brush, soaps um.. Oh washrags and loofahs and lotions! Baby Bear, yours is the blue one. Wolfie darling yours is brown. And Kitty Dearest yours is green. Why don’t you hold onto those until it’s your turn in the bath.” Jaskier explained and watched the boys examine each item in their basket before holding them close to their chests. They all nodded and Jaskier smiled and just watched them. So beautiful. Works of nature’s true talent.

“Okay who's up first?” Jaskier asked as he blinked and got out of his pet worship. He plopped down onto his knees on the bathmat outside the large corner bath. He turned and flipped closed the drain and started to fill the bath with hot-ish warm water. The boys said they liked hot baths but he didn’t want to burn them. He heard whispering for a moment before Geralt stepped up and squatted down next to him.

“I wanna get a bath first, please. Lammy wants to go last though cause he gets embarrassed.” Geralt whispered. Jaskier nodded and took Geralt’s basket and put it on the floor next to him.

“Alright test the water and if it’s good, hop in!” Jaskier told the white haired babe. Geralt stuck his hand in the water for a moment before frowning a bit.

“Can it be a little bit more hot?” Geralt asked and Jaskier smiled and nodded and flicked the knob over a bit more. Geralt out his hand under the faucet. “Much better! Thank you, daddy.” He said and climbed into the tub. He gasped at first and Jaskier thought he was hurt.

“It feels so good~” Geralt moaned out and flopped over so his whole front was pressed against the bottom of the tub and his knees were bent and his feet kicked up the side. He rolled over so he was belly up. Jaskier laughed at him and he wiggled around and got all soggy. The water slowly filled until it was only about four inches from the lip on the bath. Geralt scrubbed his face and ears with the back of his hands and made his happy high noise.

Jaskier looked back and saw that Eskel was sitting crisscross with his eyes closed and taking deep breaths and Lambert was wrapped up in his towel asleep. The steamy air felt so nice to Jaskier so it probably felt amazing to the babes.

Jaskier grabbed the bottle of body wash and a washcloth but he soon found that the bath water was already kind of discolored. Gods bless the massive hot water heated he splurged on when he bought the house.

“Well my stinky boy, I’m going to let the water out because you’ve already got it dirty. How about we get a nice shwoer and wash away the dirt and then we can fill the tub and I can wash your hair and do all that? Sound better?” Jaskier asked as he let the water drain. Geralt nodded. Jaskier watched him stand up. He had such broad shoulders, such a storytelling back with all those scars… Jaskier was about waist level with Geralt when he noticed something. He hadn’t yet gone through their actual medical records, just their behavior part.

“Geralt, love, are you neutered? Is that a Geralt thing?” Jaskier asked when he noticed that yeah, there was nothing there. There was nothing behind the wolf’s phallus. He glanced back at the other two but he couldn’t see.

Geralt got all red in the face and reached down to cup himself shyly.

“Um.. witchers are sterile but when everyone got scared that we would um… mate...and breed, centers and pounds started to kinda make a fail safe. I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t. I think they did it to all witchers. Since we’re already sterile it didn’t make us sick or fat like other pets.” Geralt explained and hid himself from Jaskier. Jaskier listened intently and nodded.

“Yeah and some people think it’s better to be neutered. For aesthetics so they don’t have to see it when they use you.” Lambert angrily grumbled. He sat up in his towel burrito looking disgusted and mad.

“That’s horrible! I’m so sorry that happened. And I’m so sorry that anyone ever saw you wonderfully brilliant boys as something to be- to be used. I don’t care either way. I care more about making you happy than aesthetics.” Jaskier said. He really hated people sometimes. Geralt stood in the now empty tub, pink from the water and from being asked about his… thing.

“Okay shower time, baby bear. Do you care if I take off my shirt?” Jaskier asked as he stood. He could practically feel two pairs of eyes blazing into his back. Geralt shrugged, “I would like it a lot” he said quietly.

Jaskier could feel the air around his ankles shift with the obvious wagging of the two outside the bath. Jaskier smiled and nodded and pulled his shirt up and over his head and tossed it over to Lambert who immediately took it up to his face.

Jaskier reached and turned the water to go up to the showerhead instead of the faucet. He also flicked open the drain. He took the showerhead off the wall and held it away from the baby until it was nice and hot. Then, he turned and started with Geralt’s feet. He just sprayed him down and Geralt giggled a bit cause it felt so nice! Jaskier then sprayed away the dirt and ick from his calves, then thighs, butt and bits, tummy, chest, back, and then he handed the shower to Geralt.

“I don’t wanna waterboard you, honey tart, do you get your face and hair wet for me.” Jaskier said and Geralt sprayed himself directly in his face and then got his hair all wet and flipped his hair over so he could rinse his neck. Jaskier took a handcloth and wiped some of the splashed droplets off his chest but his chest hair was already semi wet. All the while Jaskier went and checked on Eskel by squatting down and kissing his head and asking what he was doing.

“Meditating. The air reminds me of the hot springs in the Keep. It feels nice on my scar too… it gets dry sometimes.” Eskel admitted. Jaskier gently brought his hands slowly toward the garish mark, slow enough for Eskel to pull away or nip him or tell him no. Finally Jaskier made contact, Eskel looked like he was ready to be smacked. Jaskier touched it lightly and pouted.

“Poor baby. I’ll order you some special balm so it won’t hurt as bad. My precious Wolfie shouldn't hurt.” Jaskier kissed his scar near his mouth and Eskel looked so pretty. His eyes looked softer than dough and they were big and round and his shoulders were relaxed.

“Daddy, ‘m done.” Jaskier heard and turned around to a soaked witcher with hair all in his face. He had his ears drawn down so no water got in. He looked droopy but happy. Jaskier got up and came back to him.

“Oh good job Bear! Now plop down I’ll get your hair all shiny and soft in no time. Are you doing okay?” Jaskier asked and Geralt sat down and flipped the drain shut and smiled up at his daddy. Jaskier smiled and acted like Geralt just solved world hunger.

“Oh good job! You are so smart! So helpful! Thank you baby!” Jaskier bent and kissed his head. Geralt was glowing and he made his little happy noise. That’s when Jaskier realized he didn’t even have a cup to rinse Geralt's hair with. The shower would be much too harsh and Jaskier didn’t wanna accidentally get soap in the baby’s eyes.

“I forgot a cup! Can you all be good boys and stay here? I need to grab a plastic cup from the kitchen. Is that okay? You can close or leave the door open, whatever you boys wanna do.” Jaskier looked around at the boys all looked at each other and nodded.

Jaskier ran down the stairs and got a blue plastic cup that he must’ve gotten from a slushie place or something and ran back up to find all three boys giggling. Jaskier looks at them all. Eskel having rolled over onto his back, Lambert was still burritoed in his towel and had his leg stretched out in front of him, and Geralt was laughing in the almost full tub.

“What’s going on here? Who’s being a silly goose?” Jaskier asked as he put his hands on his hips and looked at each boy with a silly face. Lambert covered his mouth and Geralt just smiled and sunk down so his mouth was underwater. That left Eskel.

“I said you look like a badger cause you got fluff on your tummy and you got fur.” Eskel said teasingly. Like a five year old saying you’re stinky. Jaskier faked extreme insult. He gasped and put his hand on his chest and did a big turn.

“A BADGER? I’m not a badger! Silly boy. And I don’t have fur, I just have alot of chest hair.” Jaskier said and got back to Geralt who was wagging under the water and looking up at him like a hippo. Jaskier turned the water off and tapped the top of Geralt’s head lightly.

“C’mon you little hippo, up with you. Time to wash this beautiful hair. I’ll wash your ears first though so try and stay still.” Jaskier told him and guided Geralt until he was recinling against the tub wall and Jaskier could get to the backs and tops of his ears. He would clean the insides of their ears later or tomorrow.

Jaskier carefully brought the cup, now full of water, up to the pretty grey and white ear. He gently pressed the back of his ear against the surface of the water. Then he grabbed the chamomile shampoo up and gently rubbed it into each ear with his thumbs. By the time he rinsed them Geralt was just jelly. Big beautiful jelly. He was purring and looked half asleep.

Jaskier didn’t say a thing the entire time he massaged conditioner into his ears or when he scrubbed his hair twice and left the conditioner in there for a while. He didn’t say anything when he turned around and Lambert was back to sleep and Eskel was silently meditating.

Jaskier smiled and felt his heart fill with love and the feeling of contentment. He brought the cup up and rinsed out Geralt’s long white locks, which were much whiter now that they were clean. Geralt barely stirred when Jaskier brought a soapy wash rag up to wash his arms and back or when Jaskier stretched over him to turn him so he was long ways. He watched with droopy eyes as Jaskir washed him but by the time Jask was done he was already out cold again.

“Baby… Geralt~... Sweetheart~... Baby Bear you need to get out so Wolfie can get in. You can have a nice fluffy towel.” Jaskier whispered into Geralt's ear. The puppy just opened his eyes and stuck out his bottom lip. Jaskier didn’t budge though so Geralt sighed and stood up out of the lovely water. Jaskier brought him a towel and started to pat him dry. Jaskier put the now wet towel on the towel rack and brought Geralt a nice dry towel and let him go lay next to Lambert and doze off. Jaskier lightly touched Eskel’s hand and whispered to him.

“Eskel honey, Bathtime darling. We can rinse in Geralt’s water and ten get you your own clean water. Come on my brilliant beautiful wolf. You can nap after.” Eskel opened his eyes and nodded. He held Jaskier’s hand and slowly got down into the tub. Jaskier grabbed Eskel’s caddy and slid Geralt’s near the towel rack for later. Jaskier got a rag and wet it in the water and rubbed at Eskel’s arms and legs and tummy and bits and back and neck. Eskel was only about half away as he realized all the water was drained and he went to stand but Jaskier settled him back down but scooted him forward so he was sitting in the middle of the tub.

Jaskier turned on the shower and gently sprayed Eskel, avoiding his face and head. And then flicked the water back to the faucet. Jaskier was petting down Eskel's back when the babe spoke up to him.

“Daddy, can I give you a hug? Like um uh skin to skin?” Eskel said timidly. He was really letting his walls crumble and be swept away. Jaskier smiled and pulled Eskel back to the wall of the tub by his hips. Jaskier reached over and pressed his back to Eskel’s and wrapped his arms around Eskel’s neck. Eskel relaxed and melted into the warmth of someone who loves him and the warm water that was cradling around him.

“Of course, love. You can have as much skin to skin affections as you want. Did it make you feel better pup?” Jaskier said into the fluffy backside of Eskel’s left ear. Eskel nodded.

“Let me get you all cleaned up and washed. I got you lavender soap so you can smell as pretty as you look. You can rest now, let daddy take care of everything.” Jaskier rubbed up and down Eskel’s scarred biceps and then leaned back. He repeated the same ear, ahir, body as he did on Geralt. He had to wake up Eskel when he was done and the eldest babe got up, got dried off, and went and woke up his baby brother.

Lambert kept a tight grip on his towel even once he was near Jaskier. Lambert was red as a tomato but let his covering fall. Jaskier smiled and put on his least judgmental face as he let Lambert sit down in the bath.

Jaskeir kind of understood why Lambert was so… embarrassed. He had a tattoo on his hip that symbolized his sterilization and a bite mark scar on the inside of his thigh. Is this why he was so angry about being used? Was he used at a- a fuck toy? Stay calm Jask. You can be angry when you’re alone.

Lambert stayed alert and awake but did relax a bit once he was in fresh warm water. Lambert’s hair needed a little extra love but three washes and it was quite fluffy. Lambert looked softer now. Smaller, more innocent, younger. A baby like he really was.

Lambert got out and wrapped himself in a nice fluffy towel

Time to wake up the other two, get some clothes on, and go get cuddles- Uh watch a movie.

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#egg_company #the witcher #geralt of rivia #geralt #jaskier #witcher lambert #witcher eskel #yennefer of vengerberg #fanfic

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