Jesper: thanks Saints, Nina, you are free, can you watch my presentation “Why Wylan should marry me”?
Nina being actually busy: I am not fr….
Jesper: It is only few slides long!
*125 slides later*
Jesper: … and this is why Wylan should marry me, thank you for your attention and thanks in advance for your questions.
Nina: ok, I have questions. Why this presentation even exists? And do you even notice that Wylan was here all this time? If it is your idea of how to propose, we need to have a serious conversation, Jesper Llewellyn.
Wylan who was watching this presentation with a bunch of snacks: oh, no, I am already saw this presentation 10 times, and I already made us an appointment at the Church of Barter. Actually, I proposed. But he isn’t trying to convince me, he made this to convince Kaz to give us a blessing.
Nina: And…
Wylan: Don’t ask me why he thinks that we need blessing of Kaz Brekker, I don’t know. We already wrote a letter to my father in Hellgate and he sent us back 15 pages of curses, I think this is better than any blessing.
Jesper: I tried to talk with Kaz about it and said that I know that Wylan is too good for me, and he said “oh, perfect, I don’t need to talk with you” and closed a door in my face!
Nina: It is really explaining why so much slides are about investments and that slide with photo of Inej in the costume of Wylan’s attendant.
Jesper: And this remind me of my second presentation “Why Kaz Brekker should be my best man”. *turning on second presentation* First reason: Inej….
3K notes
·
View notes
modern things the crows would love
(based of the reference of them being in the victorian era)
(also, i've seen a couple people do this so full credit to them for inspiring this)
kaz:
* (secretly) card shuffling asmr/those asmr videos where they teach you card games, even tho he knows how to play them already
* (when he was a kid) those diaries where you have to have a code to get in with a speaker to record messages in
* ^^ also diaries with locks on them
* combination locks
* hard swing jazz
* mean girls (movie & musical)
* "dark acadamia" literature
* making sure everyone in a fifteen mile radius of him knows that frankenstein was the DOCTOR and the monster was frankenstein's MONSTER
* making up conlangs/ciphers for fun
* ^^ getting the crows to memorize them so they can communicate secretly
* gloves with pads on the fingers that let you use screens
inej:
* tumblr aesthetic moodboards
* taking hyperspecific uquiz personality quizzes
* crystal jewelry
* competitive gymnastics & tumbling
* claw clips & french pins
* colored eyeliner & mascara
* midi skirts
* making boards on pinterest—sharing those boards with jesper & wylan
* ^^ having massive joint pinterest boards with all the crows
* leg warmers
* ballet & "ballet aesthetic"
* any movie with natalie portman
* birkenstocks but specifically the ones with a holder for your big toe (idk if this makes sense)
* phantom of the opera
* oil diffusers
* american girl dolls
jesper:
* laser tag
* rollerskating & roller derby
* plato's closet
* tourist jewelry
* volleyball
* colored & funky shaped sunglasses
* just dance 2
* bruno mars
* fall out boy
* cargo shorts
* hamilton
* finding obscure fashion inspo on pinterest
* showing everyone how he can run barefoot on gravel
* gyaru fashion
* sour candy
* mt. dew
* saying, "i'm just joshing you" ironically
* sneezing extremely loud on purpose when it's dead silent
wylan:
* papa louie arcade games
* laufey
* asmr
* flute beatboxing
* green and brown colored converse
* tumblr aesthetic moodboards
* magnetic puzzle tiles
* percy jackson
* moisturizer with sunscreen in it
* the great comet of 1812
* dr. pepper
* accidentally dropping really traumatizing memories bc he genuinely thinks they're just funny stories from his childhood
* watercolor pencils
* shazam & the google "hum a tune" feature
nina:
* forever 21
* lush
* those mommy baking blogs that post their whole life stories before the recipe
* french tip manicures but in any other color but white
* ^^ also charms on nails
* gel manicures
* megan thee stallion
* lip gloss
* juicy couture
* the met gala
* amy winehouse
* duolingo/memrise/babbel
* panara bread
matthias:
* ^^ also, those mommy baking blogs that post their whole life stories before the recipe
* volunteering at animal shelters
* carhaart & patagonia
* those massage chairs at malls
* apple watches
* buying those massive bottles of ibuprofen at costco
* ^^ buying bulk protein powder from costco
* ^^^ generally he just likes costco & buying things in bulk
* colored fairy lights (HATES LED light strips)
* those big tubs of aquaphor
* vera bradley blankets
* gallon water bottles with the motivational time checkpoints
* at home gyms
* the classic white boy flannel over hoodie combo
* jacuzzis
* massage guns
* steel toe boots
* yawning and sneezing like a dad
* hair and beard oil
119 notes
·
View notes
The crows and their modern au side hustles
Inej - Spying for Kaz and works with Kaz
Nina - Runs a food blog, walks around, and goes to cafes / bakeries and rates food
Kaz - A blackmail and heist business
Matthias - Gym trainer (used to have to do fights for money because he needed the money)
Wylan - Makes bombs and acids for Kaz
Jesper - Alcohol rating podcast, tried alcohols and rates the taste, the drunkeness feeling etc.. also rates parties he's been to.
They all do jobs for Kaz sometimes :)
124 notes
·
View notes
Nina: guys, is pride and prejudice good for movie night?
Jesper: is there a love triangle on it?
Nina: well, kind of but-
Jesper and Wylan: NOO!
Inej: is not exactly a triangle guys, you can calm down
Nina: what going on?
Inej: apparently we don't notice because we get too invested on the movie, but when we watch something with a love triangle things get a little...intense
Matthias: you just like Edward because he is rich!
Kaz: DUUH! what is your excuse? you like Jacob because he is a wolf?
Matthias: so what,Kaz? SO WHAT?!
---
Matthias: Aiden is a great guy! Carrie should stay with him!
Kaz: Mr Big is a millonaire!
Matthias: Thats you argument for everything! Also Big is a cheater!
Kaz: well your beloved Aiden got cheated on too!
Matthias: Why are we even fighting over this is neither of us like Carrie!
Kaz: i don't know but we already started
----
"BETTY!"
"VERONICA!"
Matthias: Veronica is a frivolous rich spoiled kid! Betty is sweet
Kaz: Betty is a doormat! Veronica has her whole life ahead of her, therefore Betty should have the bland ginger!
Matthias: no! he should go to Veronica so Betty can find someone better
----
Matthias: you clearly don't understand the hunger games!
Kaz: oh please, the boring goody two shoes blondie has nothing on the competent, strong brunette
Matthias: its because you have not read the books! if you did you´d understand!
(meanwhile Jesper and Wylan locked in the closet)
Wylan: how comes the girls are NOT hearing that? they already broke like four plates
Jesper:shh! they´ll hear you
"both scream as the door opens"
Kaz: guys, we need your opinion on this
Wylan: please no
Matthias: how is a better match for Katniss Everdeen,Jonanna or Madge?
270 notes
·
View notes
The problem I have with modern SOC AU’s is - and no shade to modern AU’s, I do my part of partaking and writing them lmao but -
My problem is that when you pick Kaz up by the scruff and place him in a regular modern society he’s just so goofy looking sometimes. Like what’s this wet cat on about? Why’s he so mad??😭
And I don’t know why that is- I know his backstory could still work pretty well in a modern setting but somehow I feel like he just becomes even more an asshole with so much less to offer. He’s too close to me in a modern setting- he feels like any other dick I’ve ever met.
Does anyone else get this??? Pls Tell me I’m not crazy😭
46 notes
·
View notes