#mix up cat melty
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It’s done! It took so long but it’s DONE!
GOOD GREIF!
*AHEM* *COUGH* *AHEM*
Melty City Bop!
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"eww how do you eat canned tuna, it's like cat food" alright cunt why don't i take two slices of sourdough bread, butter both sides of each, then take some canned tuna, diced red onions, salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, lime juice, shredded cheese and mayo, mix it up, put that on the bread between a few slices of cheddar cheese, toast it in the oven until brown and melty, and you look me in the eye and tell me that tastes like cat food
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one thing that doesn't come up very often when anything about Neco-Arc comes up is the characters' position in the actual games they're in
while Melty Blood isn't something that a lot of people are very versed in (especially amongst people that like the little =3 cat, myself included), outside of meme culture and story mode funnies within the series, the characters are almost entirely a nonsequitur
Neco-Arc and Neco-Arc Chaos (the latter abbreviated to NAC and the former abbreviated to usually "Neco", for later reference) typically occupy the bottom 2 position in whatever game they're in, approximately, between their 3 moons. moons are a "groove" system in melty blood similar to that found in CVS2, or otherwise it's similar to the differences between Shadow and Normal characters in Persona, essentially mixing around your characters' set of universal mechanics and general moveset, though especially strongly associated signature attacks are usually kept between all moons.
some specific characters are considered worse on their "bad moon(s)" than the Necos on their "good moons", but generally those characters' "good versions" outshine most anything any variant of the necos can do.
their general pros between them are "annoying" and "small and difficult to hit or combo, conditionally". they typically attempt to play a zoney, pixie-esque air focused game, but the common theme between much of the necos' kits are that they seldom function, and are a traditional hardcore style "joke character" like street fighter Alpha Dan.
i want to generally focus on NAC for this because i find them more interesting (and they look cute & unique, design and personality wise), the character generally deferred to as bottom 1 with the worst moon in the game amongst popular opinion.
on Mizuumi (for those unaware, a "poverty" FG wiki equivalent to sites like Supercombo and Dustloop), NAC's strongest moon in Crescent (shorthanded to C-NAC) has a wall of cons and a short burst of pros which sum up to "annoying" and "so bad that people don't have match experience to know the matchup".
even at their absolute best or with their most "complete" kit that forms the most functional gameplan, NAC is still marred with some of the funniest shit ever. check these green boxes out:
all of these are incredibly slow normals and mostly the only epitome of "range" NAC has, with other buttons literally extending a few pixels in front of their silly little cat sprite. they extend their gigantic hurtboxes before they're active and up until NAC is actionable again in most cases. only normal you can actually play footsies against in melty blood.
C-NAC focuses on specials that do passable zoning (though generally easily disrespected, and low reward). the other moons, however, are quite dire.
Half Moon Neco-Arc Chaos (H-NAC) can be generally surmised by the first thing at the top of their page, before even their normals:
it's no exaggeration, either. Skeleton is pretty much the only person who even has H-NAC games on record. there are a few here and there, mostly some locally recorded matches between friends, but in the modern day, this is your guru, and the only advice they have is "Please do not pick this character". splendid. extremely funny.
H-NAC generally suffers from losing out on important things that allow NAC to play as a "worse than almost everyone else but still almost functional Melty character", such as having a functional airdash or backdash, but hey, they've got a command throw in case someone's response to not knowing the NAC matchup is to hold downback instead of mashing (if you find an individual of such criteria, i'll give you ten dollars.)
F-NAC, however, is the worst it's ever been. take a gander at this:
lol
H-NAC lacks the ability to really do much of anything, and is blessed with an EX move which does *zero damage*, has a superflash as Melty EX moves do, and is -20 on what, on meterless variations, is meant to be a pressure reset special. in exchange, if you hit with it point blank (and i mean it, your pushboxes have to be touching in most cases) it can cause Circuit Break (no meter usage or gain for x amount of seconds) on the opponent, but that's meter you can spend on bad reversals instead, since your abare is terrible. if you don't hit with the Circuit Break point blank hitbox, it instead builds a ton of meter for the opponent on hit, drains yours, and does zero damage, leaving you in a bad oki situation after.
four hit jumping mid which has the same terrible hurtbox rules, isn't very active considering NAC's bad jump arc and airdash, and fails to combo into anything beyond that usually. good move.
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Sincerely, a Rainbow of stories for you:
Please Tell Me the Story of the Rainbow: Part 3
(Location: Magic Manor’s Lounge, Central Kingdom, Afternoon)
Heathcliff: Ah… it smells like a deep forest. It's a little nostalgic…
Mitile: This scent is familiar to me too!
Rutile: It's sweet… it smells vaguely like flowers.
My vision wavered as if chasing the scent. Vague colors emerge from the surface of the paper and spread out like drops of watercolor paint.
Before long, a forest landscape painted in delicate colors appeared, enveloping us like a phantom snow globe.
The round outlines of the trees, made up of odd shapes, were fantastic and adorable: like toys, though they were definitely alive.
Chloe: Woah… its almost as if we’re really in the forest from the book!
Heathcliff: It’s like we’ve been transported to the world from the picture book…
Shino: The fruit growing over here looks delicious. I’ve never seen this shape before, but it’s as glossy as the real thing.
Riquet: It looks like the flowers in the drawings are actually swaying in the wind. If I reach out, I feel like I can almost touch them…
Riquet’s puzzled yet excited eyes shone brightly.
Akira: (A three-dimensional picture book complete with smells and wind… its a magical version of pop-up picture books!)
The depths of the forest were drawn in pale colors and the sound of unseen birds chirping filled the air. The wind sent waves through the crystal-clear water of a lake, as fish I’d never seen before swan through it.
Akira: I can’t believe this is a picture book… it feels like I’ve been lured into some fantastical new world…
The younger wizards and I weren’t the only ones entranced by the mysterious sight.
Even the older wizards were wide eyed at the illusion, blinking repeatedly, as if to clear their eyes.
Snow and White: Oh…
Faust: This is…
Shylock: Wonderful. These delicate strokes… its as if each one of these creatures were really alive.
Shylock gently reached out to the illusion. As if playing with the mixed colors of smoke, he scooped up the vaguely melty shapes with his long fingers.
Shylock: It’s as if the danger of an innocent and pure girl was mixed with the aesthetic temptation of an overripe fruit.
Mysterious and delicious.
Mitile: Oh look! Flying softly through the scenery… if that a rabbit?
Shino: Isn’t it a cat? The ears aren’t long enough.
Riquet: Some of them look like frogs with wings. They’re jumping around over there… and here too!
Chloe: Even though they’re beautiful, they’re strange and a little scary… but even still its amazing how cute they are!
Rutile: No matter I look, my heart pounds with so much excitement that I can’t help but sigh. I’ve never seen any of the creatures here before.
Faust: Are these imaginary creatures envisioned by the artist?
Heathcliff: Probably, though the things we’ve seen here behave almost as if they are alive..
Figaro: Yeah… that sounds about right.
Figaro who was standing a step behind, gazing at the scenery that surrounded us, stroked his chin and nodded.
A mysterious world was reflected in his knowledgeable eyes that have seen many things.
Figaro: Most likely, the scenery depicted here can only be seen under certain conditions. The creatures that love here are commonly called phantom beasts.
What we’re seeing here with our own eyes is rare, but it’s been recorded in old literature and academic books.
Snow: Hmm… phantoms usually live in a secluded, clear, natural settings…
White: They’re mythical creatures that rarely appear in front of humans and wizards.
Akira: Phantoms…?
Snow: Even though what we’re seeing now is an illusion, both the phantoms and this scenery exist.
These creatures are incredibly difficult to see with the naked eye, even for us, thus the name “phantoms”.
White: At first glance, this picture book seems to be a fantasy, but it’s actually depicting an existing landscape.
Murr: So they exist, but you can’t see them. Can you even draw something you can’t see? Interesting! I like it!
Heathcliff: It’s difficult for even Lords Snow and White to see… did the author use some sort of special technique?
Shino: She could be some kind of super-powerful witch.
Figaro: It’s possible, but what do you think? It doesn’t seem like magic power has much to do with being able to see these things.
White: That’s right. Both latent sense and the strength of a wizard’s sensitivity to the supernatural, rather than just raw magic power, are what’s most important in this case.
Snow: Whether or not a particular spirit likes you is also important. That’s why it’s difficult for the two of us to see them.
Akira: So even if you’re strong and give it your all, you still might not be able to see them.
Rutile: Is it possible to depict such a world so delicately?
Snow: It might be possible if you go around the world collecting and researching the various texts written about these strange creatures.
Shylock: In any case, she seems to be a witch with very deep insight. She must be very long-lived.
Faust: Luca Caroll… it’s a miracle that something like this is the unpublished version.
Akira: That’s right, is the final version of this book going to be for sale?
Arthur: Yes, in fact I heard it was the son of the art exhibitioner who discovered her talents.
They seem to be preparing with great enthusiasm, as this is the first time that his books will be sold to the general public.
Cock Robin: Along with his previous books being for sale, it appears as though she’ll be announcing a new one. That will be the height of the exhibition!
Rutile: I can’t believe there will be so many needful picture books lined up… I’d like to see both her previous books and her new ones!
Shylock: Still, no matter how private the event is, to think that works by wizards will also be exhibited…
Even though it's within the jurisdiction of the Central Country, Lord Vincent still allowed it…
Arthur: Special permission was granted under the conditions that it must be a high-quality work that does not harm people.
Though few in number, it seems there will also be a number of magical artifacts lined up in addition to Luca Caroll’s works.
Figaro: Well maybe His Highness Prince Vincent might not hate all wizards…
After all, the name of the holy wizard who was friends with the first king is widely known.
Faust: Hmph, I doubt it.
Snow: In any case, the organizer of this event seems friendly to us and to have power as well.
White: It wouldn’t be bad to get in his good graces.
Snow and White: Hohoho
Mitile: I’ve never been to an exhibition! I’m really looking forward to it; there’s never been such a big event in the Southern Country.
Cock Robin: In addition to paintings and sculptures, there will be displays of rare jewels and antiques excavated from ruins.
It seems there will even be weapons used in ancient times.
The ones used in the past were rough, but brave and cool.
Riquet: Ancient weapons…
Mitile: Riquet, are you interested in them?
Riquet: A little… but isn’t it barbaric to be interested in weapons?
Mitile: Of course not. Also, when you see something from a long time ago, you’ll feel as if you’re looking into history.
Rutile: You’ll feel as though you’re traveling through history. Let’s go see the cool weapons together!
Riquet: Yes!
Arthur: In addition, it seems as though mechanical objects and karakuri puppets* will also be exhibited.
Heathcliff: Mechanical objects and karakuri dolls…
Shino: Heath, your excitement is written on your face. Try not to dismantle them the moment you see them.
Heathcliff: I-I wouldn’t do that…
The corners of my mouth naturally lifted at the sight of them teasing each other.
Akira: I’m happy to see everyone looking forward to it!
Arthur: Yes. And how about you, Master Sage?
Akira: I’m excited too, of course! After all, opportunities like this are rare.
Arthur: Good! I’m relieved to see your smile.
Akira: It’s an invitation from someone who approaches you all.
If possible, I’d like to go with everyone at the manor!
(Location: Akira’s room, Central Kingdom, Night Time)
Akira: Whew
I collapsed onto my bed.
Akira: (I tried to invite the wizards who weren’t there to the exhibition, but…)
I expected as much, but their reactions were different, and they didn’t show any interest.
Akira: (Of course, I didn't expect everyone to want to go, but stil…)
Tossing and turning on the bed, I end up staring at the ceiling.
Akira: This exhibition… sounds fun.
I felt my heart speed up as I said that.
Akira: (Compared to when we first met, I feel that the relationship between the Sage’s Wizards has depended considerably.)
(But… I don’t think we understand each other completely yet.)
The more you try to know, the further away you get, and the more you step back, the more you trip over your own feet, repeating the game of tag.
For both wizards and humans, it is hard to understand one another.
Akira: Even so…
Dare to say it.
Akira: The fact that there are people out there who want to thank everyone… makes me really happy.
To be invited to a high-profile gathering… it’d be nice if people’s view of wizards continued to improve.
I’m sure it’s not my imagination that my words, thrown at the ceiling, made my heart feel a little lighter.
Akira: Alright!
With that, I stretched my arms and sat up vigorously.
At that moment, a knock echoed through my room.
*A karakuri doll is a “traditional Japanese mechanized puppet or automata, made from the 17th century to the 19th century” according to Wikipedia.
#Mahoyaku#Promise of Wizard#mahoutsukai no yakusoku#Arthur#Oz#Riquet#Cain#Snow#White#Mithra#Owen#Bradley#Figaro#Lennox#Mitile#Rutile#Faust#Nero#Heathcliff#Shino#Chloe#Murr#Shylock#Rustica#Akira#3rd anniversary#Sincerely a rainbow of stories for you#mhyktl
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raise it up
hey this is a gift for @jaeyleo and it is very late!! my dearest apologies!! i may make this a series someday! every title would be from ‘rabbit heart’ lmao
WARNINGS MIGHT SPOIL IT, but warnings for: hypnosis, corrupted! and puppet!egos, semi-kidnapping, and some... well, i guess you’d call it non-consensual magical exchanges??
have fun ;)
☽✧ ✦ ✧☾
The theatre is a bit chilly in spite of the presence of hundreds of warm bodies around you, some dressed in suits and ties, others dressed in colorful sweaters and patterned button-ups. It’s as if wearing anything too casual or uninteresting would be considered seriously underdressing compared to the man plastered on nearly every poster around the building.
“Come See Marvin the Magnificent for his famous WORLD TOUR!” they all said, in bold, colorful letters. Beneath the script was the magician himself, arms splayed out dramatically with a charming smile, cape flowing behind him. You remember the days when he was basically unheard of, only doing local shows and YouTube videos, and you remember his climb to fame… well, climb wasn’t the right word. More like skyrocket.
Before, he would have pranced across the stage with a bouncing sort of energy, shouting sing-song remarks into the microphone and over-flourishing with his ring-covered hands. But now, as he walks out on the stage, his flashy outfit and fancy set is outshined by his confident gaze. His steps are slow and steady, his voice even and low, a smile creeping into every word. He radiates self-assurance. Marvin is no longer trying to catch and hold your attention with all his desperate might - he already knows your eyes are on him, he already knows you won't be able to look away. It seems effortless for him.
The crowd cheers and roars, and he giggles a bit before he presses a hand gently to his heart- “Thank you, thank you, everyone.” As soon as he opens his arms and sweeps them wide, the entire theatre hushes like children beneath the low drama of a library’s storyteller.
Eyes scanning over the mass of people, he nods.
It almost looks like his gaze stops directly on your face.
☽✧ ✦ ✧☾
The show is absolutely brilliant. Stranded particles of dust collect in the air and transform into a vivid illusion of a whale swimming overhead, then scatter into twinkling shooting stars, tumbling down and vanishing right before they land among the audience. With a Cheshire grin on his face, the magician disappears and reappears from stage to seat to the rafters that hold up the lights. Necklaces turn into snakes and rings flutter away like butterflies, only to return back to metal and stone. It is magic and mystery and miracles at their finest - you know for a fact that any critic in the audience has yet been baffled and converted.
But when it seems like there is nothing left for Marvin to display, he calls out a phrase that is equal parts inviting and unnerving.
“For this next trick, I need a volunteer!”
Immediately, without a hint of hesitation, your hand flies up, your arm waving like a white flag of surrender. You’ve never been the type to like spotlights flashing over you on a stage, you would much rather be behind the scenes, but you can’t seem to put your hand down… nor can anyone else in the room. Stretching out from your seat to the rest is a sea of skin, of nails, of rings, of gloves, all stretching and towards the stage as if you were all subjects of a Baroque painting.
Marvin descends into the audience, slowly stepping down the stage and meandering between the rows of seats. Closing his eyes, he seems almost… relaxed by the hundreds of fingers trying so desperately to touch his face or his mask or his cape. Eventually, though, the clicks of his high-heeled boots stop, and you realize he is in front of your aisle.
A sense of deep dread washes over you when he points his finger right towards your chest, and you stand to follow him, despite the nervousness and stage fright that you get from even imagining going up there. But the chance is irresistible, isn’t it? Softly, he hooks his arm around yours, and soon the crowd’s voice mixes with disappointment and excitement.
The magician doesn’t say a word to you while you march across the carpet, but it’s not like it would matter. The theatre is far too loud, but the stage… the stage feels strangely, comfortingly quiet.
Arm shifting, Marvin’s hand slides down to yours, gently squeezing your fingers. All the fear fades from you when his other hand reaches up to brush hair out of your face. As he looks you in the eye, calm washes over you in a melty way, like syrup dripping down your brain. You swear his eyes were bluer, once, in the old photos on social media- but now someone has poured gold flecks inside, his irises nearly all green. While his pupils are stretched similarly to a cat’s, they don’t look like costume contacts; the gold is too shimmery, too deep. A shiver trickles down your spine and he nods, squeezing your hand another time. Swirling colors start to spill into your vision, and the lights become fuzzy and smeared; the change is enough to make you dizzy or knock you over, but Marvin holds you steady. It’s only been a few seconds, but you swear fifteen minutes have passed in this blissful trip. The last words he says to you are quiet, personal, the microphone turned off - a little secret you both share beneath the murmurs of the audience - “Stay very still.”
And you do.
He turns back to the crowd, and now the voice he speaks with sounds like it’s underwater. Everything is fuzzy, sleepy, but you hear him say something about a split, about a soul. The hundreds of people sitting in rows shout and call, chanting something that sounds faintly like your name - you don’t remember telling anyone your name - and gasping in surprise. You’re unsure of what they find so remarkable until you slowly look down, realizing that you’re a few feet above the ground, now, and your body… your body is laying on the floor, the form you are currently is far more transparent, far more flowing. You look like a ghost, and Marvin draws a little light out of you, pressing it to his eyes. More gold collects in them.
He then snaps his fingers.
And you’ve returned to the floor, head spinning. You are back in your body, and his hand takes yours to lift you to your feet. He turns you to the crowd and you numbly wave, stumbling just a little with a dazed smile plastered to your face.
Soon, someone else approaches you on the stage, half-tripping on his way. Through the thick fog in your head and eyes, you see his neat black suit and messy, fading green curls tumbling down one side of his face. Marvin is talking again, “thank you”s mimed out of his mouth while the crowd roars and claps, amazed amidst your confusion. They don’t even seem to notice the new man - a staff member, maybe? - on stage, the one in the suit who now gently grabs your shoulder, taking care as he walks you away from the magician. They don’t notice a thing at all...
“Right this way, right this way,” the new man mumbles, nervousness in his tone. As you look closer, still so dizzy you can barely keep your head up, you think you see a bruise starting to fade from one of his tired eyes. Your gaze is so fixed on it that you don’t stop to question why he’s chosen to exit stage left with you.
A moment later, you’re walking behind the curtains, entering a small corridor with dim lights and doors marked Staff Only. You try to absentmindedly count the doors while you stumble past, but the numbers twist and tumble in your head, a rush that just leaves you even more lost than before.
Eventually, the both of you reach a door that was once marked to be a dressing room, though the sign for that has been long since torn off. There’s a heavy padlock hanging from the door to the outer wall on a chain, much more drastic than the small lock built into the doorknob. The man who you lean on lifts a shaking hand to his breast pocket, pulling out a shining key, and unlocks the door with a distinct metallic click.
Inside, it does not look like a dressing room - at least, not entirely. While one half of it does feature hanging clothing and a vanity, as well as some jumbled props, the other side is instead filled with thrifted couches and chairs, all gathered awkwardly around a bed that looks strangely… medical?
“Uh, sit, sit, please, right there, thank you…”
The stranger ushers you forward to the couch, and you’re too hazy to even think of hesitating. Held up comfortably by the cushions, you feel like you’re going to fall right asleep, your consciousness melting right into the fabric below. But the man shifts, and you keep your eyes open to watch.
Keeping his head down and avoiding your sleepy stare as he walks around the furniture and behind you, he opens a cabinet that you did not initially notice and pulls out a crystal glass. Next to the cabinet is a small door, and the man slips behind it, reappearing with the glass now full of cool water.
Slowly, the careful clicks of his dress shoes against the floor draw closer, and you squint, trying to get a better look at him from here.
The bruise on his face isn’t the only thing marring his skin, you notice; more bruises peek from behind the sleeves of his suit, and a deep, gnarled scar cuts across his throat. On both sides of the scar lay deep red lines, like someone had fastened a collar far too tightly around his neck. A frown forming on his face is enough to interrupt your thoughts; he adjusts his shirt and tie to better cover what you’ve seen, before sitting beside you.
“Here,” he mutters, and pries your nearly-numb fingers open to place the cold glass in your grip. “Drink some, i-it’s supposed to help…”
You do as he says, and the worry in his face seems to lighten.
“Thank… thank you. You did, um, real well, in the show. I’m sorry about what he did, though…” Even through the foggy mess that your mind currently is, a hint of fear peeks through at the man’s words. “I s-suppose I should introduce myself, I’m… Anti. And you are…?”
No matter the effort you expend, you can’t get coherent words off the tip of your tongue, not even enough to say your name. Anti sighs, understanding the feeling.
“That’s alright. It’ll come back in a while, though you’ll never get everything back, y’know? Too late for that.”
With every word he says, more concern starts to build in your mind- what exactly have you gotten yourself into?
You’re dragged out from those thoughts when you realize that you still hear Marvin’s voice echoing from the stage, though you cannot identify any distinct words. Just a tone that wants to lull you to sleep, wants to numb the crowd into oblivion. You feel so tired, oh, why must your eyelids hang so heavy?
But Anti is still talking, too, quietly and nervous when he sees the look of fear that has grown on your face. “It- it’s alright, really! It shouldn’t… shouldn’t be any serious damage, even if it sounds scary- he only took a small part of your soul. Marv, he’s gotta feed that magic somehow, r-right?”
On shaky legs, you try to stand. You have to get out of here, don’t you? If only Anti didn’t gently push you back down by your shoulders, hushing you with a slightly panicked face, if only you didn’t feel like a gust of wind would be enough to knock you over.
“No, no, he’ll be here after the show, okay? And… and then you should be able to go home, h-he just needs to check up on you, that’s all, promise… please get some rest, pretty please, for me?” Anti stares at you while he talks, a sickly sweet voice creeping into his words, and it’s almost like his eyes are trying to reach into your mind. Despite this, his gaze takes no effect on you.
There’s barely any magic left inside him, after all.
☽✧ ✦ ✧☾
You do fall asleep, eventually. While Anti’s weak attempts at hypnosis did nothing, Marvin’s work is still heavy in your mind, and you’re plunged into a warm, sickeningly sweet darkness.
The dream you find yourself in is not much comfort, but you pray it lasts a while. You don’t know what will happen to you when you wake up.
☽✧ ✦ ✧☾
welcome, dear reader, to my interpretation of the corrupted!marvin au ~
that’s all, folks! go follow @jaeyleo / @cest-mellow if you have not already, she is an absolute sweetheart who inspires me so so much
sidenote: any religious imagery u spot in this is very intentional
#jse egos#marvin the magnificent#antisepticeye#reader insert#second person pov#my writing#my fics#my ego posts#i havent written in SO long and i am sorry but i hope u like this#it was kinda confusing so like. interpret and theorize as u wish#a majority of the vagueness was on purpose#psst: spoilers in the next tags#corrupted!marvin#puppet!anti
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PARK CHANYEOL: Birthday Suit
𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐃:
↳ᴍᴏᴍᴍʏ ᴋɪɴᴋ
↳ғᴏᴏᴅᴘʟᴀʏ
↳ᴀɴᴀʟ sᴇx
↳ᴇᴅɢᴇᴘʟᴀʏ
↳ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴘʟᴀʏ
↳ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀᴘʟᴀʏ
↳ᴏʀɢᴀsᴍ ᴅᴇɴɪᴀʟ
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Chanyeol flitted around your shared apartment, mentally checking and rechecking everything he had planned. Cake - check. Bedroom decorations - done. Your presents? Yup, all on the table, perfectly wrapped (with Suho's help, of course! He couldn't afford his clumsy ass messing up at the last minute. He promises he did everything else on his own though!).
It's extremely hard to avoid biting his lip in anticipation of your arrival, not wanting to mess up his perfectly glossed lips, as he glances at the clock yet again. His pale cheeks flush every once in a while as his mind wanders through the material he's wearing underneath everything, contrasting well with the crisp black suit above.
Channie always thought he was a little too masculine to be the perfect submissive; too outrageously tall, too clumsy unlike his shorter, more feminine, more fragile hyung, Minseok. He always wonders how come you chose him amidst so many different better options like Baekhyun and Jimin and even fellow rapper Yoongi, who seemed to fit the image of a submissive quite well, but then he thinks of how physicality doesn't really matter in the bedroom, it's the way you carry yourself; it's all about aura, all about preferences rather than appearances. After all, you and his Minseok hyung were both great examples of that: Minseok hyung, who was dainty, fragile yet so dominant that there was no doubt about it once you saw his nature in the bedroom. His hyung and even you had reassured him numerous times that it didn't matter, yet he couldn't help but feel insecure sometimes.
He cleared those thoughts from his head. You were right: it didn't matter.
All that mattered, all he wanted was to be good for you. A good boy, just for you. Mommy's sweet little baby boy.
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He wipes his clammy hands as he hears the doorbell chime, grabbing the bouquet of flowers he had gotten for you before opening the door. He's... in awe. It's like the breath has been knocked out from his lungs and you're the oxygen to make him breathe again. Does eyes wide, mouth unable to close from how slack his jaw is, he looks at you, standing there in front of him in all your stunning glory.
"Cat got your tongue, Channie?" You smirk slightly. Pastel pink pumps adorn your feet, black pantyhose contrasting them so sinfully. The high collared blossom pink dress shows barely any skin except for your bare arms and yet he's so enamoured, so entranced; he'd always been a captive to your beauty. And like Stockholm Syndrome, you're his salvation, his dream, the one he'd submit so wholly to. He manages to close his mouth, stuttering out a raspy "H-happy Birthday, Mommy." , hastily handing the flowers to you before stepping aside to let you enter.
Your mouth parts in surprise as you take in the effort he put in just for you. Red and white seems to be the theme for today as you drink in the sight of your apartment. When he had sent you to the spa for a day of relaxation, you had immediately picked up on his intentions but seeing all his efforts, the decorations, the somehow perfectly cooked food (probably Kyungsoo's doing) and a pile of gifts to the side (no doubt with Suho's assistance) just felt so special. Even though you knew he would surprise you, experiencing all of it was something entirely else.
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After dinner, and cake!, Yeol sweeps you to the bedroom, seating on the bed as he moves to get something out of the mini fridge. Once again, your bedroom is encased in red and white, rose petals on your bed and on the ground, bed sheets neatly made yet sure to be messy later given you two's liking towards making a mess.
He turns back to you, cheeks as pink as your outfit as he approaches you with a big bowl of chocolate ice-cream; your favourite of course. Your eyes dance with excitement as you understand his motives. "Strip, babyboy."
Handing you the bowl, he shimmies out of his suit, tie long forgotten from when you had your first makeout session of the evening.
Soon, he's half naked and kneeling in front of you, breathlessly asking you if he can keep his pants on for the time being. Quirking an eyebrow, you decide to be lenient, body charged with the curiosity of what's beneath. Curling your fingers around his pale neck, you press your lips against him, pulling him up and onto you as you kiss him, fervently, like a prayer. Flipping him over, you lean his body against the headboard, kissing him once more.
"Safeword, Yeollie?"
"Red."
"Such a good boy."
He preens under the praise as you scoop up the now melty ice-cream; you'd always fantasized about licking it up those abs. Smearing it over his abs, you gauge his reaction; the soft gasp followed by a whimper leaving his swollen lips leaves you even more aroused than before, your eyes darkening as his brows furrow, back already arching as a tiny tremor goes through his body. "Oh, mommy~"
Getting down, you lower yourself towards his abs, eyes locked on him the entire time. You give a tentative kitten lick to his ice-cream-coated abs, reveling in the way his brows knit together, head thrown back, arms wide apart clutching the sheets, his body writhing at your touch. And the best part? The way he moaned out your name: "Mommy! Oh- oh mommy- mommy, more please!" Like it was a mantra, he chanted your name as you laid your tongue flat on his abs, licking up all the melty ice-cream.
Everything is so damn messy, the ice-cream mixed with your saliva sticking to his abs as you pour it over his abs even more, the coolness of the temperature riling him up as much as it did you. And God, is it messy. It's just way too messy and you're loving every single bit of it. You and Loey had never been hygiene freaks in bed (baths were a must in aftercare though!), so it was all good.
Seeing him strain against his dress pants makes you coo. "Aww, is the little baby hard? Oh honey, Mummy will make it better in no time. Let's get this off, shall we?"
His eyes widen slightly, cheeks blushing a deep pink as he squeaks out your name. It's too late though- you've already unzipped his pants in one go, sliding them down from where he kicks them off his legs. He's almost bare now save for one item of clothing, and your eyes are so unwaveringly focused on it that poor Channie gets all nervous and embarrassed, thinking you don't like it.
But your thoughts are so vehemently opposite of what he's thinking, your mouth watering at the sight of those pastel pink panties with a soft floral print right in the middle of them; God, you want to use those panties on him in every him way possible: shoving them in his mouth, pegging him while he's still wearing them, ripping them apart and then fucking him, the possibilities are endless.
"Mommy, Channie's sorry." He pouts, making you snap out of your daze and look up at him incredulously, licking your lips.
"Why on earth are you sorry, sweetie? For making Mommy dripping wet? For making her want you even more? For making her want to claim you in front of everyone?" You crawl up his body to align yourself with his eyes, loving the way his heartbeat speeds up as your voice lowers to a whisper. "For making me want to use these panties over and over again on you in every damn way possible, hmm Loey?"
"Oh. Mommy approves?" His eyes are blown wide in realization.
"Oh honey, Mummy very much approves." You send a bone-chilling smirk his way. "Hands and knees now, babyboy. Present yourself to me. You're gonna be good for Mummy won't you?"
"Yes, yes Mommy!" He's quick to comply, getting into position as he's always done. He looks so breathtakingly beautiful like this, like the most delicate flower you ever saw, bare save for those panties that were dampening now, and fast.
You grope his ass, feeling how firm he is, how soft. No longer able to hold yourself back, you tear off the wrapping paper - or should you call it a ribbon? - of your beautiful present, eliciting a soft gasp from said present. Channie's hell bent on surprising you various ways today, because peeking out his hole is a glass bead. Not even a plug, but goddamn vibrating anal beads, because your darling really wants it tonight.
Chanyeol simply pushes his forehead further into the pillows.
"I was thinking of eating you 'til you're a whining, whimpering mess, but it seems like you've already prepared for that." You raise your eyebrows. "The remote, Yeol-ah?"
He chokes out a raspy "f-first-t draw-drawer", moaning loudly when the vibrations increase suddenly when you retrieve the device. His knuckles are so pale from clutching the sheets, face scrunched up in an expression that screams ecstasy, and you can't help but raise the vibrations even more, intently listening to the rise in his pitch as he tries to keep himself from rutting into the mattress, not wanting to upset you on your special day.
You're so fixated on him that you don't even realize how you've stopped in the middle of the room just to toy with the remote's controls and see him cry out in pleasure, completely enraptured with the way his body trembles, cooing out soft words of encouragement at his whines. It continues on for a while and then you hear him.
"M-m-mommy won't you touch me? I-I- ah! a-ah! I need you to- oh, need you to fuck me. Hard, Mommy." His doe eyes are glossed over with both tears and the familiar haze of subspace as he looks up at you, cheek pressed against the mattress, hips jerking every once in a while, hands clutching the sheets in such desperation that it makes you snap out of your hungry daze, moving forward while stripping bare.
And then you're flipping him over, sliding a condom over his weeping dick, lubing it up. You align him with your equally soaked cunt, and for a moment you simply brush him against you, feeling him throb against your clit (or was it the other way around? You couldn't tell) as you throw your head, brows knitting together as your eyes squeeze shut, ragged breaths escaping your lips. Yeol watches your chest heave and mewls out softly as your folds caress his tip like a warm embrace. It's been too long.
Then you're slamming you're hips down 'til they grind against his own, loud groans being heard from both of you. Your hips rise again as you lean your head down, hair falling in a curtain around your face as you mould your lips together. One hand holds his hips down as you bounce hard on him, the other snaking up his chest, making a pitstop to tease his nipples - and God, does he whine when you do that -, moving up until you curl it around his neck.
He moans uncontrollably against your lips, writhing more and more beneath you, so much that you have to smack your hand against his hip to keep him still. Tears spill down his soft cheeks as you tighten your grip slightly, squeezing rhythmically every time your walls clench around him. And he's so gone that he can't even do more than huff and puff and mumble incoherently. You angle your hips differently in search for that special spot, a strangled groan escaping your mouth when you finally find it, hips rising and lowering even quicker, wanting nothing more than for his tip to rub against it. You're getting closer, and so is he.
"Don't even think of coming before Mommy does, Yeollie." You gasp out, making him whine only to be quietened with a sharp smack to his thigh. You slow down, dragging out both your orgasms, and he sobs in frustration and pleasure. You continue to tease both of you, bouncing slower in deeper, more calculated strokes, a collective shudder passing through you two every time his condom clad tip rubs deliciously against your sweet spot. It's sin, nothing but pure sinful pleasure, and you want to bathe in the afterglow of it. Yeol continues to huff and puff, broken whimpers leaving his mouth, an occasional cry leaving his mouth when you squeeze his throat a little too pleasurably. It's like, like he's given himself up to you: fully, completely, undeniably yours - and nothing else but that.
The thought riles you up, and you ride him harder now, speed gradually increasing to the point where your hips ache and your core throbs. He's crying out in ecstasy as your core clenches around his stiff cock, nails raking down his chest, leaving angry red welts that he would admire all morning tomorrow. "That's it, Yeollie, scream louder, honey. There we go, that's such a good boy, my loveliest baby, Yeollie. You make Mummy feel so good, my darling, so loved."
"Yeollie feels loved too, Mommy!"
Theres goes your heart (if it was even alive at this point, considering how pretty he's been tonight).
"Mummy's gonna- ah, cum now, baby- ah! Such a good boy, aren't you, honey? So good, so good, so precious. And all mine. Mine, and only mine."
You're panting, voice breathless from how perfectly he fits around you, how perfectly he rubs that spot. You reach down to rub your outer folds, breathlessly hissing out his name as you shudder, cumming over his cock.
He throws his head back, eyes squeezing shut as you clench around him, a whimper escaping his mouth. "Mommy, please? Let baby cum, please?"
His watery doe eyes make you soften, cooing at how pliant he is, how obedient and patient. The perfect little boy for you.
"Cum, Yeollie."
You swallow his deep moans with a kiss, teasingly squeezing his throat one last time.
■ ■ ■ ■ □ 90%
Aftercare with your babyboy is always so damn soft. Like, it's just so soft, there're no other words to describe it. You clean him up first because, well, baby deserves it. And then after you've cleaned yourself as well, you limp to the kitchen, while reveling in the pain because yes, get some comfort food and cuddle with your lovely boyfriend on the bed. You feed both of you guys because Channie just turns to soft, mushy, light-headed goo after sex and he can only pout and rasp out soft "Mommyyy"s, not that you mind babying your lovely baby; Channie deserves the world, after all.
"Mommy, Channie's sorry for not being there to wish you on your big day." He pouts, yet you're quick to reassure him, heart sinking to see him still apologetic like this.
"Honey, no. You were on tour, and Mommy understands. Besides, Yeollie made Mommy's day so special, you know? Do you know how happy you make me, baby? How happy you made Mommy feel today?"
"...weally?" You coo so hard at that.
"Mhmmm. Loey's my bestest boy ever. Mommy's lovely little babyboy." He beams adorably at that, and your chest swells with happiness and warmth and pride.
Being a male submissive, and especially one who would willingly bottom to a woman doesn't come with acceptance, especially when he's a tall hunk who, according to society, should be a smouldering alpha male. He could have left you, and even now, he has a hard time loving himself for who he is, but you're there, you'll always be there- and it means the world to him.
So you love him, with every fibre of your being, and he reciprocates it with his all, because you two have been through a lot since you first met; you've shared the same rejection, targeted with the same hate, and now you both just don't care nor do you want to care. You just want to love and be loved. And so you do just that, feeding him some fruit, running your hands through his tousled locks, telling him how good he's been, how lucky you are to have him, how much you love him.
And when he smiles, it's like nothing else matters. Just this smile. Just this moment. Just him, just you two, and nothing else. Because he looks so beautiful, so breathtakingly beautiful that you could gaze fondly at him 'til the end of time.
And he's worth it.
■ ■ ■ ■ ■ 100%
𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒁𝒐𝒆♡
#park chanyeol#chanyeol#pcy#pcy smut#chanyeol one shot#chanyeol oneshot#exo smuts#exo#kpop smuts#kpop smut#kpop one shots#kpop oneshots#requests
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AU klaine prompt inspired by the video with the window washer playing with the cat where blaine is the window washer and kurt is the cat's owner?
The aforementioned video
On AO3
Window washing was the Anderson family business. His father did it, and then, when his back didn’t allow him to climb and wash the windows himself, he started training Cooper and Blaine to follow in his footsteps.
Cooper loved the job, but he always ended up having to go back because he left traces on the windows.
Blaine, well… It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy doing it, the physicality of it, the work-out it represents, and the happiness he brings to some of his clients.
But he could definitely do without the small percentage of clients who are insufferable.
Luckily, today is a light day, mentally.
Today is Tuesday, which means that he has to clean the Plaza building. Not a lot of offices, which he prefers, and large window panels without convoluted stone carvings to clean around.
Blaine slides down from the roof and starts cleaning the window when a small black kitten appears in his line of sight.
“Hello,” he coos, applying the soap and giggling when the kitten follows the motion of his brush with his little head. Blaine is truly delighted when the kitten trots up to him when he moves to the next window on his right, the feline walking with his tail swishing from side to side.
Once the window is clean, Blaine decides that he can spare a couple of moments to play with the kitten.
He is so focused on his reactions that he misses the appearance of two socked feet behind him.
The music notes do get his attention, though, and he looks up to find a man giggling his head off as he films Blaine and his cat.
Blaine grins at him and waves, only for the kitten to bat his hand through the glass.
The man laughs harder but looks up from his screen, waving back at Blaine.
The cat seems very interested in his owner and moves away from the window, visibly meowing to be picked up.
Blaine shrugs and waves again, this time to signal his departure, before sliding down to the next floor.
That was a very nice moment.
And that man was very, very, very handsome.
---
From that day on, it becomes a sort of tradition.
Every other Tuesday, Blaine gets to meet the black kitten (who visibly grows as the weeks go by), while his owner records their encounters.
As cute and funny as the cat is, Blaine doesn’t really know if he looks forward to those Tuesdays for the animal or for his human.
They don’t speak to each other, per se, but he feels like they are having whole conversations through their eyes and gestures.
It’s been two months since Blaine met the black cat and his owner, and he still doesn’t know their names, and it’s bothering him more than he cares to admit.
So he prepared a sheet, saying, “Hi, I’m Blaine,” in the hope that it will prompt his Mystery Man to reply.
But first, entertain the Mystery Cat while doing his job.
The moment two human feet appear, Blaine reaches into his breast pocket to unfold the paper.
The man turns off the phone and comes to sit next to his cat to read it.
It’s a good thing Blaine is firmly attached with his harness, otherwise he doesn’t know how well he would be able to maintain his balance, because…
Wow.
The man looked handsome, cute even, from afar, but up close…
W. O. W.
Look at those eyes.
The man smiles as he reads Blaine’s introduction, before pointing at himself and waving his fingers in the hair.
A vertical line; two short diagonales; then a curvy one…
Oh!
Okay, Blaine can do this.
K.U.R.T.
He says it aloud. “Kurt?”
Mystery Man nods and beams at him.
“Nice to meet you.”
Kurt waves between them while nodding. Blaine interprets it as “Likewise”.
He then points at the cat, and Kurt wrinkles his nose.
It’s adorable.
And then, Kurt lights up, holding up a finger, pointing at his socks.
“Socks?”
Kurt shakes his head, twisting his upper body to show Blaine the brand.
(Blaine is absolutely not distracted from said brand by the sight of Kurt’s backside, presented to him in the same motion.)
“Ah! McQueen?”
A vigorous nod.
Blaine makes an approving gesture before tapping the glass with all of his fingers to respond to the aforementioned cat who was busy batting the window, demanding his dose of attention.
Kurt smiles at the two of them before returning his focus to Blaine, who tries really hard to fight his blush under such scrutiny.
Kurt opens and closes his mouth several times, visibly growing frustrated with each aborted attempt.
Meanwhile, Blaine moves on to finish cleaning Kurt’s windows. When he’s done, he lowers himself until his face is at ground level for the apartment and its residents, waving goodbye and planning his next move.
The next fortnight, Blaine has another piece of paper ready for Kurt.
“Here is my phone number.”
Kurt’s smile is blinding as he rushes to take his phone and save the number, rapidly typing a message as he goes.
Blaine can feel his phone vibrating in his chest pocket, but he never takes his phone out while suspended mid-air. He makes a gesture he hopes Kurt will understand to say “later”, before cooing at McQueen who is sticking his face against the glass.
When he’s back on the ground, Blaine takes his phone out and reads Kurt’s message.
“HI! I’m so glad I can finally tell you how much you’ve brightened my days with your kindness for my cat.
I hope to see you many times, but would it be possible to do so without a barrier between us?
Have a nice day and stay safe,
Kurt”
Blaine presses his forehead against his phone (and wipes it against his t-shirt because his forehead is quite sweaty after all) before typing his answer, looking up even if it’s useless once it’s sent.
“I would love that. Tomorrow is my day off, so, you tell me?
And just so you know, cleaning your windows has been the highlight of my weeks ever since I met… McQueen.”
Yes, he’s playing coy. So sue him.
Kurt’s response is immediate. “Starlight Dinner. For lunch. My treat?”
And, not even fifteen seconds later, “I’ll make sure to let him know how much you enjoy your dates.”
Oh, okay. Two can play that game.
---
“What’s the big occasion?”
Cooper lets himself into Blaine’s apartment and drops himself onto Blaine’s couch, looking at his little brother getting dressed.
And there must be an occasion behind that outfit—Blaine knows how to highlight his assets, he learned from the best after all.
“I have a date.”
Cooper straightens up, and Blaine can’t help but smile proudly at the idea of the upcoming date. “With the cute cat guy?”
“I told you his name is Kurt.”
“Right, right.” Cooper comes to stand with Blaine in front of the mirror, handing him a different belt to tie the outfit. “And you really want it to go well?”
“Duh.”
“You know what you need to do then.”
Blaine glares in their reflection. “I am not going to serenade him with a poppy lovesong in a public space.”
“Ah?”
“Not on the first date.”
“Attaboy.”
---
Naturally, Blaine gets to the restaurant early—far too early, if he’s being honest, but he was so worried of being late, and so anxious to escape Cooper’s ridiculous advice, that he left and walked to the place—but it gives him the time he needs to compose himself and let the odd ambiance of the restaurant soothe his nerves.
And then, someone enters the restaurant and makes a beeline for Blaine’s table.
Someone Blaine has been eager to see and meet and hear, wearing the most perfect sweater Blaine could ever imagine.
“Hi,” Kurt simply says, and his voice is even more perfect than the one Blaine imagined.
“Hi.”
Kurt sits down and crosses his arms over the table, slightly leaning over it to get closer to Blaine. “I almost can’t believe this is happening,” he tells Blaine, in a tone of confidence.
“Me neither,” Blaine confesses. “I had to check and recheck your text. My brother even pinched me to guarantee I wasn’t having a very detailed daydream.”
“Oh, I hope he didn’t hurt you.”
Blaine shrugs. “Anyway, here we are.”
“Here we are.”
Silence thickens between them until they both laugh, awkward all over.
“This would be easier if your matchmaker pet was here.”
“Wouldn’t it be, though?”
“A black cat named McQueen, that is quite the statement.”
Kurt smiles at Blaine, before launching into a story of how the cat got his name.
(Long story short, when Kurt first fostered him, the black kitten would always find his way to Kurt’s beloved McQueen scarves to nestle in them, and the name stuck.)
The ice definitely breaks when Blaine pushes his side of fries toward Kurt while they eat and Kurt covers Blaine’s hand with his before devouring half of the fries, in the most inelegant way possible.
Blaine finds it absolutely irresistible.
And he tells Kurt so, while Kurt has his cheeks stuffed with fries like a chipmunk.
“You’re adorable.”
Kurt freezes, before gulping as his cheeks turn bright pink. “Oh. Really?”
Blaine leans his head on his hand. “Really.”
Kurt looks away before returning his hand on top of Blaine and squeezing it. “I, um. Me too.”
“You, too, think you are adorable?”
Kurt shakes his head. “No, you jerk, I think you’re adorable too.”
“Kind of sending mixed signals, here.”
“Oh, okay. I take it back. You’re not adorable.”
“No?”
“No,” Kurt says, his smile belying his tone. “You’re insufferable. I hate you.”
“Right.”
Kurt brings Blaine’s hand closer to him, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. “But,” he continues, a darkness appearing in his eyes, “my cat loves you, so that must mean something about your character.”
“Oh, bless McQueen’s judgment call, then.”
“Indeed.”
Blaine nods, swiping the last fries for himself with his fork. “Didn’t mean to be a jerk.”
“Didn’t mean to call you a jerk.”
Blaine smiles. “This should make for an interesting second date.”
“Second date?”
“My turn to invite you.”
“Right.” Kurt cocks his head to the side. “A bit cocky of you, though, to assume there will be a second date.”
“I don’t assume,” Blaine replies. “All I know is that I would love to see you again, and not on my regular Tuesday.”
Kurt smiles, all bravado melting away. “I would love that too.”
“Then it’s a date.”
“It’s a date.”
“And I have to meet McQueen in person sometime in the future.”
Kurt laughs at that. “I’m pretty sure he will be beside himself to finally meet his favorite human.”
“Oh, second favorite, surely.”
Kurt smirks. “Surely, yeah.”
--
Two years later, when they get married and McQueen is the ringbearer, they are still debating who is his favorite human.
(The response is clearly a tie, but McQueen prefers to let them wonder.)
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Howdy! My name is Leon Nightwick, and i just found a lump in my cat sons stomach. I had already found one on my other cat, Gracie, and been saving, but now this has become increasingly urgent.
Heres my loving babies
Black and white cat is Bean and the grey is Gracie. They are 3 and 15 in that order..
Gracie is a senior cat, and I am even more worried for her health than Beans but now i can't save up for this without doing this....
Im opening emergency comissions.
on top of the needs of my loving felines, i am also in need of money for a basic wheelchair due to intense chronic pain symptoms. so please at least read through!
currently, i only have paypal.
From this point on I am going off my usual price list and modifying the template I made for myself from here. Thank you, please read on
Read the whole post!!!!! Please!!!
RULES:
Be kind! I'll get yours done eventually, this isn't exactly first come first serve.
There will be no discussion of the DNI portion of this post. None. Failure to comply with this portion of the rules will result in an immediate block.
Here are some art examples!
old!!!^^^^^^^^^
more recent sonic style^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^this is about six or seven months old!^^^
I can do: Sonic, MLP, Anthro, Feral, Demons, Fan Art, Humanoids (not great at regular people though!), Vocaloid, Clowns anything outside of the dni I can try to do for you, with the exeption of something like South Park. I hate that show, please dont make me draw it..
traditional prices are not included but if you would like traditional art, ask for the price of the category you want. there is no colour in my trad but there is high detail shading, for a price.
Pixel prices!:
Headshot: 5-10USD, flat colour bg included
Half body(anthro only):10-20USD, flat bg included
Full body: Anywhere from 10 to 40 USD depending on how complex your character is! Flat BG included
Blinkie(they blink!):+5USD to your order!
Breathing(includes blink)+8USD
Digital Prices!:
what kind of colour you want will factor into the price!
colour options: Sketch, Line, Mono, Flat, Light Shade, Heavy Shade. include this in your order!
Headshot:10USD-20USD depending on how complex
Bust:15USD-30USD depending on how complex
Half body:20USD-40USD depending on how complex
Full body:30USD-100USD depending on how complex
Please note that i will always try to keep your price as low as possible, I'm not trying to take everything I can get out of you, just what I need for the art and labour costs.
Digital BG price!:
Flat colour/White or Transparent: Free! (If you want transparent then I may have to ask for another of your socials because tumblr eats it sometimes...
Colour Spray: 1USD
Spray Mixer:1USD per every 3 Colours!
Want a Spray over a flat colour? The flat is free so please just say for example, "Orange Spray over pink please!" And I'll put it in! They don't have to be over white!
Melty:2USD
(A drip or melt pattern, I don't have an example ready. Can be shaded, 3D shaded, or flat)
Melty Mix!!:3USD per every 2 Colours!
(Two or more melts, layered. A gradient melty of two is only two dollars, so dont worry.)
You can always ask for flat melties, they dont have to be shaded!
Swirls:2USD! No example below, its just a huge swirl in the background thats kinda like the spray
Mix and match if you like! 3 to 5 USD for your Mixer!
Pride Flags: heck yeah broski 1USD, if you provide your own image its freeee
Detailed backgrounds: this here depends on what you want, we'll talk on what sounds good for the price and add up from there. Dont worry, I wont try to run it super high on ya.
Pixel BG:
Flat is ALWAYS included, but if you want white please let me know! Im not sure how to make it transparent but if you ask I'll see if I can!
Gradient:1USD, three colour MAXIMUM
Stripes: 1USD
Pride flags: heck yeah bro thats epic, 3 USD for more than 5 colours.
HOMOPHOBES, TRANSPHOBES, EXCLUS, MAPS AND THEIR SUPPORTERS, RACISTS, DDLG/CGL(RE), TRUSCUM, TRANSMEDS, ANTI-MOGAI, ANTI-KIN, ANTI FUJOSHI/FUDANSHI, ANTI AGERE (NONSEXUAL ONLY), TERFS, PRO-ANA, H*ZBIN H*TEL/V*VZIE P*P FANS/SUPPORTERS PEOPLE WHO USE COVID-19 AS A JOKE DO NOT TOUCH MY POSTS.
Dont wanna buy from me but have a few extra dollars to spare? Dm me!
PLEASE show your friends, I dont want this to turn into something terrible.....
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Cookie Cats: Vanilla Variant
A recipe for you Cookie Cat lovers craving a simpler taste
See more SU food tutorials!
Here's a rare recipe for people who love uncomplicated flavors!
Did you notice that when Steven sings the Cookie Cat jingle in "Gem Glow," he's shown against a background of alternating chocolate and vanilla Cookie Cats?
That must mean there's a Vanilla Cookie Cat option out there! Let's make one!
This is a small batch. You'll get about 10 Cookie Cats out of this. (That means 20 cookies. Each has a front and a back.)
To make the cookie part, get your ingredients:
1 cup flour
1/4 cup milk powder or buttermilk powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup powdered sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
1 egg yolk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
And vanilla ice cream will be used for filling later.
Even though the drawing is simplified and shows plain undivided vanilla ice cream in the chocolate as well as the vanilla flavors, I figured vanilla Cookie Cats would appeal to people who like calmer, less jazzy tastes, and elected to fill with just one flavor.
You’ll also need two mixing bowls, a spatula, and a strainer or sifter. (Powdered sugar and milk powder do not go well with this recipe unless you sift.)
Take one mixing bowl that can hold your flour, milk powder, and salt. Sift the milk powder into the flour, add the salt, and mix.
Then, in the other bowl, mix your softened butter together with the sifted powdered sugar.
Add the egg yolk and the vanilla.
If you have no experience separating eggs, it can be challenging. Just crack the egg and let some white fall into a bowl, and then try to dump the yolk back and forth between the eggshell halves until all the white has come off into the bowl. Then dump the yolk in your recipe. I always put the whites aside and when the dough is chilling I make myself an egg white omelet.
After things are mixed creamily, add it into the dry ingredients and mix it up.
You’ll get a nice thick dough with a consistency like this! Wrap in plastic wrap, and chill for at least 20 minutes.
Now you need a Cookie Cat cookie cutter.
You can search for a pattern and try to make your own from firm moldable metal if you want, but honestly I recommend buying a fan-made Cookie Cat cookie cutter. I got one which is a 3D-printed cutter made by Etsy artist LeahGMaloney. Hot Topic also sells official ones, but they are smaller and more difficult to use.
After your dough is chilled, you can work with it. You'll want a sturdy, clean surface dusted with flour to roll out the dough, a rolling pin, and a spatula that helps to lift the cookies off onto a baking sheet.
Roll the dough out to 1/4 inch and begin cutting cats. To make the final product slightly less messy, I recommend leaving the eyeholes in your cats on half the cookies so your bottom piece of Cookie Cat does not leak ice cream.
Put up to 10 cookies on a lined baking sheet. They don't spread much as they bake, so it's okay to put them relatively close together.
You’ll want to bake at 350º Fahrenheit / 175º Celsius for about 10 minutes. (Please note that this recipe cooks faster than cocoa dough traditional Cookie Cats. I recommend using only the center rack. They are tender.)
When they come out, cool them for a Long Time. They have to literally be completely cooled before you use them in an ice cream sandwich. Use wire racks if you have them.
After they're completely cooled, set up your assembly station. Don't take your vanilla ice cream out until you've done everything else to set up.
Get slices of aluminum foil or plastic wrap that are big enough to wrap each finished cat in. Put a bottom cat head face down on the sheet. Set up several cats.
I used a spatula to slice out a nice sheet of ice cream to put on the cat.
And I put the top cat head on. Here’s the messy part: Squish the top cookie down a little so the ice cream goes out to the edges of the cookies, and use an icing knife or spatula to gently trim the edges into a bowl. (Yes, I ate the bowl after I was done making cats.)
And then put the finished sandwich back on the wrap and wrap it up individually. This should help it hold its shape and insulate it.
I cannot stress enough how melty ice cream gets. Keeping it frozen is vital to getting these things to behave. You should leave yourself enough time that you can stop a couple times to re-freeze any melty ice cream if it’s getting soggy in the box.
I recommend letting finished Cookie Cats freeze overnight before trying to eat them. And they’re not as messy to eat as they are to make, but drips are likely, so be careful! The cookie softens to a traditional ice cream sandwich texture after about a week in the freezer. That's when they taste best.
So there you have it! The lesser known variant: vanilla Cookie Cats!
Let's compare!
Cute! A (vanilla) pet for my tummy!
See more SU food tutorials!
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Melty as a Nekomata! MELTYMATA if you will!
#mix up cat melty#melty#queen of qlaw#queenofqlaw#persona#shin megami tensai persona#shin megami tensei#nekonatta#nekomata
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35. the queen was in the parlor (1932)
release date: july 9th, 1932
series: merrie melodies
director: rudolf ising
starring: n/a
another cartoon with goopy geer! the last merrie melody, moonlight for two, DID star goopy geer, but i was hesitant to say so, unsure of whether it was just a lookalike, but the fact that he’s in this merrie melody leads me to believe that he was a bit of an entity for awhile. as the title suggests, the king returns to his castle to find his queen in the parlor, refusing to see anyone else.
as all good cartoons do, this one opens with a swaggering king atop his mule, greeted to thunderous applause as he steps off and marches down the aisle, eating up the attention.
quickly he grows tired of the “long live the king!” chants, snarling “but where’s the queen?” a group of knights whisper “the queen!” to each other down the line (imagine “hermie doesn’t want to make toys” from the rudolph special. it’s basically that), including a stereotypical jewish king at the end of the line. that certainly didn’t age well and makes me cringe as i watch it, but i digress.
a group of squires launch into a call and response rendition of “the queen was in the parlor”, the king providing various interjections throughout. love the barbershop harmonies as always! gags including a mouse popping out of a knight’s helmet to interject a verse, and a dog (an actual dog) clad in armor itches itself through the armor and lets out a bunch of fleas that have been hiding.
look at the personality in that walk! you know me, i’m all about my walk cycles and how they’re great indicators of personality when executed properly. great example of a prideful, no-nonsense and ultimately hard-to-take-seriously walk! the king marches into the castle to see what the fuss is about.
it turns out the queen WAS in the parlor! who would’ve guessed? she’s knitting away at a sock, while the poodle from the goopy geer cartoons (and freddy the freshman) is riveting away at a suit of armor. the king enters as his throne takes a life of its own and scuttles up to him, ready to be sat on in an act of servitude.
the king summons his jester, who is none other than goopy geer. again, another great walk cycle! unfortunately, it doesn’t say too much about his personality: it seems he adapts to whatever setting he’s in, whether he’s a lounge piano player, a redneck, or a jester. gotta give him credit on his versatility, though!
goopy provides a few bars about the king (old king cole), who “called for his crooners three!” the dog on his jester stick(?) says “crosby, columbo, and vallee!”,
which prompts the rudy vallee caricature from crosby, columbo, and vallee to pop out of a jack in the box and sing “for you”. i love my caricatures, so i find this particularly amusing, especially when old king cole hits rudy on the head and gripes “I’D RATHER HEAR AMOS N’ ANDY!”, a reference to the popular radio comedy show hosted by freeman gosden (amos) and charles corell (andy). unfortunately, as you can probably guess, the comedy show was a minstrel show—but it was adapted to television in 1951 where actual black actors took the stage. you learn something everyday! even though i was oblivious to what amos ‘n andy was until a google search later, the delivery is spot on and the joke hits just as well. i’m loving this bastard of a king—finally, personality!
after a brief impression of amos ‘n andy (again, this aged poorly), goopy skips down through the parlor, pressing his ear to a door. a dog, doing an impression of tony wons, asks “are ya listenin’?” he raises his fist and asks “HMMM?” to which goopy stammers “yeah, i’m walter winchell”, referring to newspaper columnist and radio commentator walter winchell, known for trading gossip around. a few alcohol bottles explode and goopy runs towards the camera, yelling “OKAY, CHICAGO!”, another reference to winchell. even though these icons aren’t at all relevant or known today, these jokes still fascinate me and i can only imagine how funny they were to a relevant audience!
we have our standard merrie melodies dancing interlude, with goopy dancing around and bouncing his feet off of a few spittoons. fun synchronization as always! there’s also a shot of a cat (the one from it’s got me again!) hunting a mouse, but getting scared off once the mouse emerges from its hole, clad in armor.
once more, the villain enters! he slams the door in the face of the fan-faring trumpeter, who blows out a few notes (sounding like a car horn) on his crinkled horn. the trademark “harman-ising flameball spit” comes into play once the villain spits on a suit of armor, reducing it to nothing but bones.
the poodle girl who was riveting a suit of armor is singing, and the villain advances on her, ready to kidnap. he runs off with her captive, but goopy swoops in to save the day.
spittoons, flaming spit, villains, damsels in distress, all of the essentials to a harman-ising produced cartoon all in one! sword fights can also be added to that list as goopy and the kidnapper engage in combat. goopy momentarily gets thrown into a cabinet, the crash forming a suit of armor made of pots and pans. goopy charges are the villain, who swings at him. now, a stuffed goat’s head falls on goopy.
in the manner of a goat, goopy rams into the villain, forcing his armor to break. the villain is exposed in his long underwear, and in some delightful, melty, rubber hose goodness, he mixes the shrapnel in a cocktail shaker (just like bosko in ups ‘n downs) and pours himself a brand new suit of armor, iris out as he runs for the hills.
as for as merrie melodies go, this one wasn’t half bad! the highlight of the short was definitely old king cole. i love him! i wish he had a bigger role in the short, he’s oozing with personality and all sorts of great possibilities. no offense to goopy, but he doesn’t do much for me. he’s pretty bland and lacking in personality, maybe even moreso than foxy and piggy. he comes off as more of a plot vehicle than a standalone character. i enjoyed the celebrity references—i learned some interesting new information today (though goopy talking in a minstrel dialect doesn’t age well at all, even for a quick joke, and the jewish knight joke is in extremely poor taste). there are better merrie melodies out there, but there are worse ones, too. i’d give it a watch, just because the king amuses me so much, but it wouldn’t be a crime if you skipped it this time.
link!
#lt#the queen was in the parlor#reviews#long post#antisemitism m#racism m#:( i hate tagging that stuff but i’d feel even worse if i glossed over it#i know it’s all about historical context which i understand but you also have to account for how it translates now
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Hot cheese air (7.11.19)
We had a fairly late start to the day but once we got going we hustled to see the l’Orangerie. This museum is fairly small but it has such a wonderful design. The walls are curved to match the paintings and there is perfect soft natural life. This was the first place I learned to appreciate Monet.
Brandi went to the bathroom and discovered that they have a shoe cleaner machine! It made me so happy to get to dust off my shoes!! Of course once we left the museum we were back in the white sand but... it was nice while it lasted.
Our next stop was to get some falafel. Two different people recommended this place to me independently of each other so I knew it would be a slam dunk. And legit, it’s the best falafel I’ve ever had! I didn’t really have an appetite but ended up eating half of Brandi’s because it tasted so dang good.
We chased it down with some ice cream! Brandi pointed out that they serve pretty small serving sizes of ice cream in Paris. These ones were particularly smol. We got it from Berthillion which is a really popular old ice cream joint. They had vegan options which was great for me! My flavor was whiskey chocolate, but don’t worry, I didn’t get ice cream drunk.
As we enjoyed our tiny scoops we wandered across the bridge to Notre Dame. We tried to reenact our last visit here and honestly Brandi nailed it whereas I...well.... look fine. Boy I really miss that jacket and those boots I used to have.
Our next stop was the Shakespeare and Co bookstore and this time we had a little space to actually read! I read a book of poetry and a little Virginia Wolf...it felt appropriate. The store cat Aggie was napping on the roof. Brandi spotted her by following some clever clues! The window leading to the rook had a poster of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof! We looked out and there she was!
After reading I got myself a crepe. This time I saw there was a kinder/nutella option so of COURSE I just had to. It was...so much. They threw in a couple kinder bars which instantly melted into the hot nutella and the result was the chocolatiest monstrosity I’ve ever eaten. The guy who made it laughed at me.
Finally we rounded out our Latin Quarter visit with a stop at St Chapelle. This is a very small church compared to a lot we’ve seen but it feels very special because of the windows.
It’s impossible to capture these windows in a selfie. The stained glass is so uniquely beautiful so I’ll also post a non-selfie! Somehow we lost Luke and had to use all our boyscout training to find him. He forgets his sim card for ONE DAY and manages to lose us! We eventually find each other and meander our way homeward.
On our walk home we saw several weird but notable sights. The first was a toy store filled with really realistic animal stuffies. Once inside we saw a staircase with a sign that said “zoo”. Intrigued, we headed down the stairs to find what can only be described as a dungeon of dolls...It was actually kind of creepy and strangely cold and also it smelled weird.
Next we ran into a pet store with real animals inside! There were so many puppies Brandi and I were sobbing heaps on the floor. Destroyed by the cuteness.
It took a lot of effort to rip ourselves from the pet shop but we had to hurry home in order to record another collab for our pod! This time my friend Eve came on to talk to us about David Cerney! It should be a pretty good episode.
Our final plan for the evening was to get some raclette! The basic idea is that they serve you cheese and a little melty oven to melt the cheese in and then you pour it over potatoes or bread or meats. As we approached the restaurant we were met by the powerful smell of cooked cheese. It was flowing in waves all the way down the street. They sat us underground in another dungeon. But this time it was a cheese dungeon!
This restaurant also had fondue and we were pretty overwhelmed with the choices. We ended up getting a beef fondue and a mixed raclette dish. The server informed us that we’d have to order for 4 people so we agreed. The result was that we ate SO MUCH meat and cheese. The server told us that we had unlimited potatoes and cheese included in our meal and we just laughed at her.
By the time we left we all smelled very strongly of oil and cheese. Our original plan was to join Vincent to go dancing but we were too full to even consider. We rolled home and immediately threw our clothes in the washer.
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2019 Megaman Valentine’s Day (Talent) Contest Results!
Part two of results day, even though I always label the Talent category as Cat. 1, these results are in reverse. Oh well. Again, raffle prize winners will be contained in both posts, so keep an eye out after my commentary on your art. Not all raffle prize winner are contained in this post. I’ll be contacting all winners soon enough, so sit tight!
To see the Humor category results, please head to THIS POST.
Will any of our Iron Chef contestants be able to create an artsy meal with these ingredients?:
To find out, along with your Talent category winners and full gallery of entries, click here after the break:
Category 1 (Talent) - The Way To A Mega Man’s Heart Is Through His Stomach
This category had the larger amount of participants, and was honestly a lot harder to judge. I really was going back and forth on where to place people, because I love so much about all of them! Your delicious culinary character combos were all delectable in their own right, whether they were actually edible pieces of art or not. I did leave this category up to interpretation a bit more, despite the initial description wording it as a food-themed pinup. As long as it contained some sort of food with a character, it technically fit the theme.
Thank you once again to all who participated. You all make holding these events fun year after year!
I know imgbox gallery gave people some issues before, so as always, let me know if images or links appear broken. Crossing my fingers this works smoothly this year! XD
After each entrant’s name, there will be a link in the character description to the entry, too, just in case the external inserted images don’t load for you.
[Full Talent Gallery]
1.) @prar-draws - Zero and Ciel
While most entries focused on sugary sweets, such as pastries or candies, prar thought outside of the box just enough to stand out against the rest. Taking Zero and Ciel’s already long hair and turning it into ramen and soba noodles, the pair are relaxing together in an overflowing hot tub bowl of their pasta-y strands, broth, veggies and then some, while they enjoy their own bowls of noodles. Despite being heavily layered in clothing, *warning* this is one steamy, saucy pic! XD
*For coming in 1st (in back-to-back years, no doubt), prar has won $100 via Paypal, or a prize of their choice up to that value.*
2.) @digitallyfanged - Tron Bonne and Megaman Volnutt
Ever the tease, Tabby’s Tron is wooing Volnutt with a sugary-sweet sensory overload at the hands of both her, and her Servbots. Or maybe at the head, too, based on that 2-tier strawberry cake that doubles as a hat on happy Servbot. While including so many treats were definitely eye candy in this piece, so too is Tron in that dress, causing Volnutt to deeply blush.
The soft glow of the lighter transparency background, along with the usual shine of your lighting on the pair in the foreground, help them stand out. Even if my mouth is watering more at all the Servbot’s treats. Hahaha.
*For coming in 2nd, Tabby has won $50 via Paypal, or a prize of their choice up to that value.*
3.) @irischroma - Nana
Nana is ready to split her banana split sundae with you. I see what you did there. Your mission is to follow her every command as she feeds you, in her bonus rpg/sim screencap. I really liked the use of multiple halftones to accent the shading on both her and the background of the full image. The background itself is really cool, to incorporate the ice cream mounds, syrup and sprinkles, which also actually align nicely with the sprinkles on her apron. Truly adorbs.
*For coming in 3rd, Iris has won $25 via Paypal, or a prize of their choice up to that value*
And the remaining wonderful entries, in alphabetical order by alias:
@bracedshark - Marino
The first entry to embrace food-themed clothing, Marino is the living embodiment of the chocolate peppermint sundae she is holding. I love mint chocolate chip ice cream, so Marino’s green hair and clothing accents fit that ice cream color perfectly. Also while tying in your traditional peppermints as accessories on her, as well as the sort of melty pinkish mascara dripping down the side of her cheeks.
*Bracedshark is the winner of Raffle Prize #1 - The cel of Duo*
@drewblossom - Ice Man and Roll
Another great use of food-styled clothing, Drew made a precious cinnamon roll dress for Roll, and an ice cream cone vest with a more whipped topping trim for Ice Man. Ice’s hair also adds to that whipped cream feel, yet despite dancing around, does a good job keeping that cherry from falling off the top of his head. XD This is a super cute scene, and has even better apparel style.
*Drew is also the winner of Raffle Prize #4 - The Tamashii Nations Zero figure and Zero emblem wristband*
@hyperbole1729 - Tundra Man, Top Man, Snow Robbit and Eye Ice
The first of two yummy cookie entries, which I’ll assume were baked around the same time, feature both real world treats, and 2D ones. I give Hyperbole big props for making the Snow Robbit and Eye Ice enemies into cookie shape form. They look super delicious, and I’m a guy who loves cookies with tons of frosting. XD Taking the pic on a wintry snowflake plate makes them stand out even more, so I totally loved your creativity with that.
That baking didn’t only take place in Hyperbole’s kitchen, as Tundra and Top also spent the day making the same treats. I think their cookie cutter shapes have given me a clue to how you made yours. LOL Very cute!
*Hyperbole is the winner of Raffle Prize #3 - The Zero plush and framed X 3D sprite art*
@larytello - Zero and Ciel
Strawberry cake seemed to be the most popular choice of romantic treats, and here lary has Zero feeding Ciel her slice. Your digital airbrush shading has really improved, and it shows in this piece! It really gives a nice depth and definition to their arms and legs, not to mention the folds in Ciel’s dress, or the shine off of their helmets. Even with the heavily pink background, with all the hearts, they both still stand out nicely against it, despite their color schemes. Super cute!
@papillonthepirate - Roll.EXE
Our other real world food entry is a sugar frosted Roll.EXE cookie, complete with rosy cheek sprinkles and lemon-flavored ribbon candy antennae attached to her. Again, like Hyperbole’s submission, Papillon had the perfect heart decal plate design to help accentuate her creation, along with the doily it’s sitting on. I’m sure she was delicious! I appreciate the extra creativity taking the theme of the contest literally and making an actual tasty Mega Man character treat!
@peach35 - X and Zero
A very cute scene of X and Zero sharing desert and a drink with swirly-shape sippy straws at a quaint little bistro off the shores of Dopple Town. And I’d imagine the pair of strawberries left snuggling on the table also sort of symbolize the hunter couple cuddling up after their cake and conversation, too. Pardon the pun, but I like the slice of life feel to the scene, that sort of gives it this Norman Rockwell-styled feel. The detail on your strawberries and lemon slices really turned out quite great; they look pretty real!
SockMonkii - Ashe
Ashe is so busy devouring that chocolate/strawberry filled cake slice, I don’t know if she fully realizes how much she has missed on her face. XD In fact, I think she’s likely eyeing the rest of the whole cake as the booty she’s after, rather than of any admirer. LOL The ribbon and bow background, along with all the hearts, help emphasize the cake as a romantic gift. Again, I see a lot of growth and improvement in your art style after a year’s time, and I think this pic turned out great!
@star-crossed-swords - Blues and Tempo
While definitely a sweet and romantic drawing, this entry felt like it fit in more with last year’s humor category theme, Beauty and the Beastman.EXE, that I almost wondered if you got mixed up with an older contest post. ^^; So I decided to go with the assumption that Quake Woman/Tempo had something delicious leftover on her hand that Blues was kissing off of her, to fit it within the content requirements. :D Their formalwear looks very nice on both of them. I like the sparkles on her dress coordinating with the starry sky outside the window.
SubZeroIceSkater - Tundra Man
I totally read that tagline in Tundra Man’s voice. And the more bittersweet, the more pure chocolate, so it sounds good to me! Containing most of his stage enemies in cacao form, this box of chocolates is like a your chances at an extra life in item roulette. You never know what you’re gonna get. That’s sort of reverse Forrest Gump logic...right? I love how the box is designed just like his helmet’s rupee with icicles protruding, along with all the beautiful sparkling snowflakes and hearts in the background. I want a box, badly!
#Rockman#Megaman#Mega Man#Rock Miyabi's 2019 Megaman Valentine's Day Contest#Fanart Contest#Too many tags to list
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A Rose By Any Other Name...
...would not smell as sweet as the inside of the Tom & Sabine Boulangerie-Patisserie.
Rating: E ( for Excessively Explicit Exposition of Edibles ) ((i.e.: literary food p o r n))
Ao3 Link
If you had asked the Adrien of five minutes ago what love was he would have waxed poetic about freedom, laughter, a girl with the brightest blue eyes and the sweetest sprinkling of freckles, the color red. He would have ranted about banter, puns, awkward flirtations, and sassy retorts. He knew what love was, what being in love felt like. He knew the feelings that stirred in the soul, the butterflies in the stomach, the champagne in the veins. He felt that startling, intoxicating, heady mix of fear and joy that could only come from finding, falling for, a special person.
But that was then.
This was now and he was actually able to spend time in the Dupain-Cheng’s bakery instead of being pulled through the storefront by one person or another. This was an entirely new feeling and it was amazing. There was a strumming of the nerves in his body, and he could feel his blood rushing, his pulse pounding, echoing his excitement.
The smells that wrapped around him, making themselves at home in his nose and on his tongue were the type that calls for poems upon sonnets upon odes upon ballads to be written.
That heady, heavy scent of flour that means freshly baked bread which starts to fill you up before even taking a bite.
The ever expected light, teasing scent of sugar that knowingly leads you towards buying and eating more than is probably reasonable for one person, for a single meal. It dances around the senses, pulling attention from one thing to another, calling attention to all of the different dancing partners, teasing, cajoling, shouting at Adrien’s unquenchable sweet tooth that he might find success in satiating that bottomless craving, but only here.
Cinnamon winding its way to the forefront, setting up camp and sparking a warm fire. The smell evoking feelings of comfort and sweet, gentle heat. It whispered promises of what could be, what will be once he makes a choice.
Lavender settling in his throat, but not cloying and suffocating as he has often found the scent to be when encountered previously. Instead, it calms him, even just slightly, gives him a reason to relax, to breathe. Here, with the Dupain-Chengs, it is perfect, relaxing. That proper balance of floral and herb, of sweet and earthy. It doesn’t overwhelm but instead soothes, giving a guarantee to do More if he takes even
just…
one…
bite.
And, oh god, when the tempting siren scent of chocolate hit him on top of everything else he was the closest to heaven that he had ever been. That bittersweet smell that stuck to the tongue, to the roof of the mouth, with his mouth drying because now he was parched and needed that lovely aroma to be tangible so he could drown himself in it, in hope of maybe satiating his desire. The heavier smokiness of dark chocolate, the milky cocoa of lighter chocolates, and that almost too sweet essence of white chocolate. He could die if he tried to satisfy the desire that he had for the smell, let alone the taste, of chocolate. And what a sweet death it would be...
As he shifted, taking in another deep breath to try and taste everything just from the redolent air, the scents of different fruits finally reached him. The sweetly sharp and biting smell of orange dancing through his nose and throat. The sugary tang of raspberries wedging its way in with everything else, sticking between his teeth. The comforting and hominess of baked apples wrapping around him.
Oh god, focusing on the smells that he was so quickly falling deeper and deeper in love with were doing nothing for his self-control.
Finally taking the chance to look around him at the tantalizing display cases as he attempted to shake himself from his seductive scent induced daze, Adrien realized this was only going to get harder. Seeing all of the delicious delectables he was currently surrounded with was not going to help his… situation.
The croissants were the epitome of perfection. He could all too easily picture the flakes of airy pastry sticking to his face, his fingers, his shirt. Bites would melt away leaving behind butter, butter, and more butter. He could feel his arteries clogging just from the smell, let alone consuming one or ten or as many as he could get his hands on Right. Now. and it was glorious. Let alone the pains au chocolat, which glistened in the light with all of that butter in the pastry, but with the added seduction of chocolate, a temptation he was so rarely able to give into, unable to indulge in all of his tantalizing and delicious fantasies.
And the chocolate chip cookies - they are that perfect (purrfect) golden brown color but still oh so soft. And you can tell they are soft just looking at them because Tom and Sabine are masterful culinary magicians… the delicious smells curling their way over to him indicating just how fresh they are - a note of heat that said how recently they had been pulled from the ovens and put on display. And he just knew that the chocolate was still perfectly melty, so he can already picture the smears on his hands and face, and the act of lovingly licking away all those traces.
The macarons looking like something out of a fairy tale, or even just lifted directly from his dreams. All fantastical colors and flavors, worth every bit of affection, love, and adoration he could heap at their altar. Some the traditional and time-honored, others more trendy or the result of toiling experimentation by their divine creators, but every single one something he could, wanted, needed to sink his teeth into.
Turning slightly from the tantalizing morsels he was soon captivated again. He could all too easily imagine a wonderful candlelit table, just for him and a tarte Tatin. The caramelization on the apples glinting in the low light, like much more tantalizing jewels. The lovely blend of sweet and tart with the buttery goodness that was just begging to clog his arteries and he was so very weak to that. The pastry flaking, prompting images of a trail leading all the way…
… right into his mouth, causing him to stifle a moan down into a soft whimper because that delectable fantasy was almost too much for his control.
Oh, mon Dieu, those large, mouthwatering baguettes...
The darling cake pops that were pridefully flaunting themselves in their display jar, promised to be the best thing he could wrap his lips around.
And, God, those pain au chocolat, catching his eye (again) with the tantalizing peek of chocolate, were begging to make a mess of him, leaving flecks on his lips, his face. He could think of all sorts of indecent things to do with them…
…Like eating a couple dozen in one sitting.
But those baguettes... They continuously called a yeasty siren song, bringing his focus back to them, that promised to satisfy his hunger with lascivious carbohydrates wrapped up in a perfectly hard, thick crust that had his mind, stomach, and soul begging to be able to get his mouth around it, to be able to sink his teeth into one to get the prize inside.
Which led Adrien to the éclairs... The beguiling batons of pastry perfection with that oh so special filling. The ambrosia of the glossy chocolate frosting or the delectable caramel that merely hinted at what was secreted away inside an airy pastry. Because in this pastry wonderland the magicians who crafted each delicacy were not satisfied with vanilla and chocolate custards, no matter how amazing, how heavenly they may be. Raspberry, pistachio, lemon, hazelnut, and matcha custards and creams vamping alongside the vanilla, chocolate, and caramel éclairs-next-door. All begging, promising to make a mess of his face, his hands, his pants. To make a mess of him.
The bright colors of the fruit skewers caught his attention when he shook his head to try and push that fantasy to the back of his mind. The label on the jar reading, “糖葫芦 ~ tanghulu,” only caught his attention for a second before he marveled at the various fruits speared together - strawberries, kiwis, mandarins, grapes, pineapple, blueberries - and while not dangerously seductive like many of the others (that were still calling to him, begging him for attention and to devour them slowly or quickly, savoring and gentle, hard and fast, to satisfy all his urges) they were still so very tempting. The candied coating of sugar glistening in the ample sunlight, covering sweet and firm flesh, gently charming him with pleasing curves one after another and tempting sharp bursts of flavorful bliss if even just nibbled.
The gorgeous stained glass rosettes of the fruit tarts caught the light out of the corner of his eye. Various kaleidoscopes of bright morsels of fruit in varying patterns and designs, all nestled into a sumptuous cream that Adrien nearly fell to his knees with how much he wanted to dig into it, to get a taste, to truly be the cat that got the cream. The different notes of tart and sweet, the textures of each section - the lovely crumbly crust, the smooth vanilla cream, each bit of fruit slightly different - all coming together to make a symphony of flavorful seduction that he was so weak against, vulnerable to all the enticements that abound and surround him.
There were just so many temptations in terms of creams that he just knew would kill him trying to choose, they all hit upon his needs, his cravings, his desires. Perched above a placard for sfogliatella, nestled on top of one another were small fans of amazingly layered and flaky pastry. The fillings almost bursting out of the pastry shell, some with a beautiful orange tinted custard - or something, Adrien was too busy picturing biting into the delicious dessert during a sunset, in a secluded corner of a park to figure out what it actually was - and others a perfect and pristine cream that was ready and willing to trickle out the side of his mouth when he finally got his lips on it. And that powdered sugar that graced the tops of them all would get on his hands, his shirt, his pants giving him a reminder of just what had happened and, o h d i e u x, did he want that…
His eyes, and tastes, paused and then skipped right over the small but diverse selection of cheese tarts and breads, sending a much less tasteful or desired shiver down his spine at the fleeting thought, as he was just not into those…
He was, however, very interested in the madeleines, clafoutis, and other various gateaux and the like. But, Adrien was most especially drawn to the mille-feuille. The delicate structure and complex flavors he wanted to savor, let roll around on his tongue. Sugared cream and fruit, or more sassy chocolate or coffee, or maybe a bit of gently sweet and nutty almonds. The options were almost overwhelming with the thought of slowly wrecking the treat with his hands and mouth, eventually having to clean away all traces of the event, licking away at his fingers, scraping up traces around his lips...
And, good Lord, he felt like he needed to go to church as he looked at the -
“Oh, Adrien, dear, I’m sorry you had to wait. So, how can I help you? Anything, in particular, catch your eye?” Adrien startled at the seemingly sudden question from Sabine. He looked around and realized that while he was fantasizing, attention bounding around the shop, from case to jar to basket, the few other people that had been in the bakery had cleared out. Nino was off to the side and very well might have known what was going on inside his head if his stifled snickers were anything to go by.
Sheepishly he turned back to Sabine who was still staring at him patiently, if a little questioningly. While his hand crept up to rub at the back of his neck, Adrien managed to eke out a response, though he almost immediately regretted it as his own embarrassment managed to spike and Nino’s scoffs turned into guffaws.
“I guess one of everything you’ve made is a little much, right?”
#ml fic#mine#i write sometimes#it took me a year and a half to write edit and publish this#A Rose By Any Other Name#Adrien#food#so many food mentions#Nino and Sabine are there for the Briefest Amount of Time#the ending is a little lacking in my opinion but oh well#also featuring a ridiculous amount of italics#im not sorry#also hella innuendo#ml
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Meal of the Day: Mystery Meat
So here’s the thing. There’s been some rather rapid changes in my life that I... I mean, ideally I’d be able to talk about them in detail, but I don’t know when I’ll have time to anymore. So here’s a quick and dirty version.
For anyone who doesn’t know: Hi, I’m Jax Dawnsedge. I’m a *cough*’dorei living in Stormwind. I work at the Golden Keg in the Dwarven District with my adoptive moms and family, who I love very much, and friends who I love very much. Come by and see me some time, I normally work nights.
I also have a girlfriend Pryn, who I love very much, but unfortunately her family, who by the way owe me not one but two massive favors, do NOT love me very much. Rude. I am very loveable.
Anyhow, a few weeks ago, during what was supposed to be a celebration of the victory over a recent snafu, instead of being welcoming and friendly, her mothers asked when I was planning on leaving Stormwind and when I intended to stop leeching from their daughter.
Pryn is wealthy. I am not. My family -- blood family -- is wealthy, but I’ve since been exiled and was living on the streets until this spring. But I am anything but a gold digger and I am certainly not a leech. Ghaaa pisses me off to talk about.
So she was given an ultimatum. Either drop the stray dog or give up her allowance. Her allowance per month is more than I make in a year, between my Argent stipend and my wages at the Keg. It should have been a no brainer, but she had a serious lapse in judgement and picked me.
Unfortunately, she has a lot of bills and expensive tastes, so I’ve been trying to cut corners wherever I can to keep her from having to give up too much too fast. And that’s where today’s recipe comes in!
Now, a lot of people cringe when I say Mystery Meat, but let’s be real. It’s not a mystery where the meat came from. It came from an animal (or maybe certain types of plants?). The only mystery is WHICH animal, but tell me, how often do you ask for the name of the kodo whose steak you’re noshing? See? So technically ALL meat is mystery meat. Life is one big mystery.
Of meat.
Pryn doesn’t eat mammal meat, so I’ll show you how I’m cutting corners with her later. This is all mine, which means I can tweak the recipe however I like.
First you need your supplies. This is seriously the hardest part. You can go to your local butcher and ask for low-cost scraps, hit up some of the hunting lodges, or even try your local skinner. In Stormwind, it’s really easy to find scrap beef, though in Silvermoon you could find strider, dragonhawk or even cat meat if you were desperate. I really don’t recommend cat meat though. Other good and easy to find meats are pig, especially in Human or Dwarven settlements, rabbit, squirrel, rat or various squirrels. I don’t really recommend the meat from carnivores, as it can be pretty tough for what we’re using it for, but wolf or bear meat of course works as well.
So now you’ve got your meat. If you’re using rodent meat -- rat, rabbit or squirrel -- remove any fat you see. It tends to rest on top of the muscle instead of integrating within it, and it tastes just foul. Trust me on this, it tastes really bad, get rid of it.
If your mix is really lean, you have to find a fat source. Butter tends to be really inexpensive in Stormwind, and it’s cow butter which is a lot less gamey-tasting than goat or kodo butter. Also, and this is really important: There is NO SUCH THING as Tauren butter. Anyone who tries to sell you that is either conning you or coming on to you. Trust me.
The next thing you need is optional, but any sort of farm towns should have a cheese available. Again, cow cheese is super easy to come by in Elwynn, so I used a yellow farm cheddar that set me back just a few copper for a whole pound.
And of course, to round it out you need something green. I could devote an entire post to edible plant scavenging, but for this I found some really nice broad-leaf water plants, some dandelion leaves and a whole mess of chickweed.
Now that you have your ingredients, grind your meat. Again, if you’re using a lot of rodent or its lean, add a healthy amount of fats. Pig is really useful for this, but on the expensive side if you’re on a budget. For these patties I used cow scraps, venison, pork and some rabbit, which was enough for four total (about a pound) and cost me all of 5 copper all told. Get rid of any rancid peices, then grind it up. If you don’t have supplies to grind, come down to the Keg and ask for Jax, I’ll be happy to run it through our grinder. Tips always appreciated.
If you do have a grinder, something I learned is to freeze it first, this will make it grind a lot easier. Now that you have it all ground, shape them into patties and season as you want. I used stuff we had around the kitchen, garlic, Khadgar’s whisker, salt and pepper and a sprinkle of felweed for a kick.
Melt some butter in a skillet and once it is no longer foamy, carefully lay the patties in the pan, careful not to crowd. Cook until your desired doneness, but for mixed-source meats, err on the side of caution and cook it as well-done as you can tolerate.
After flipping about halfway through, layer thin slices of the farm cheese and cover while it finishes cooking. This will help the cheese to melt. Once the cheese is melted and the patty is cooked through, remove from the pan and set them aside to rest.
It’s a bit late in the season and the dandelion and broadleaf were mature and bitter, so I decided to saute them as well. While the meat is resting, I added the greens back into the pan and cooked until just wilted. I added some salt and garlic to help coax the water out, but apparently adding a splash of vinegar is popular too. I’ll have to try it some time.
And there you have it. Meat on a budget. All told, this cost me less than a silver and I have enough for at least two hearty meals. Just cuz you’re poor doesn’t mean you gotta eat like it!
Ingredients:
Approx 1 lb mixed source meat (aim for as high quality as you can afford, rodent fat removed!!)
Farm cheese (cow recommended, though kodo or goat also works)
Melty fat source for frying (rendered pig fat or butter)
Spices (salt is a bare minimum and cheap)
Scavenged wild greens
Instructions
Collect and grind your meats (come see me at the Golden Keg for grinding help!)
Form into patties. Add fat source if needed
Heat a skillet and render butter or fat to coat the bottom
Season your meat and add to the pan
Cook well on one side, then flip
Add a thin layer of cheese and cover to finish cooking
Remove meat and let rest
Add greens to pan, salt
Sautee until wilted, season as desired
Enjoy!
#jax cooks#jax rp#warcraft food#world of warcraft food#warcraft rp#wow rp#wra roleplay#tavern food#blood elves#void elves#tauren#horde rp#alliance rp
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categorized and generalized all the types of tumblr aesthetics i have come across.
I have been going through archives for the last five years on tumblr now, and i can’t help but notice that a lot of blogs are the same. There seems to be a pattern in the sorts of aesthetics i run up against. So, in my exhaustion, i tried coming up with all the different aesthetics, and i tried to put them into certain categories. Obviously, some of these categories are mixed with others.
PORN TUMBLR
-general porn
-lesbian/gay general
-kinky stuff
-daddy dom stuff - tied up boobies
-bears
-just unrealistic nudes
-just realistic nudes
-vintage porn, and occasionally porn that is so old that it was drawn by someone in the 1800′s
- hentai and erotic animal people cartoon characters going at it
-person who took about five pictures of themselves naked five years ago who has not come back
RICH KID TUMBLR
-super modelesque kids in their super rich cool kid clothes and fashion in Starbucks taking pictures of their food and their trips to Europe in 1st class
- incredibly expensive looking sunglasses
-rich kid travel blogs with hundreds of thousands of notes of pictures from rich people buildings
-quotes that say 'be happy' or stuff about saying anyone can just travel anywhere at any time, just the general advice you might get from someone who doesn't know how the other half lives
- cats
VINTAGE TUMBLR
-the greatest generation stuff, forgotten early hollywood actors/actresses, very old movie gifs, Theda Bara, Clara Bow, Carol Lombard, early Joan Crawford, Gone with the Wind ect..
-50's, 60's and 70's, Nancy Sinatra, Brigitte Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn – generally a lot of Audrey Hepburn
-Posts old advertisements and old cars, sometimes old toys, a few pinups, vintage comics, kinda weird
- vintage toy blogs - just toys, named and dated
-sometimes retrospace stuff
-sometimes just old comic book stuff
FEMINIST/ GENDER STUDIES TUMBLR
-intersectional feminists who post mostly text and back and forth writings, sometimes they fight
-radfems and turfs, unpopular minority of angry at the intersectional feminists
- Fat Acceptance movement, chubby bunnies
-other girl's selfies, lots of girl power related drawings of gender symbols and the like, Grimes, being a witch, Courtney Love, sailor moon, and so forth, sometimes bleeds into soft grunge
-topics on transgender, gender fluid and others that have informative
- asexual community
BLACK LIVES MATTER TUMBLR
-black lives matter awareness, police brutality, pointing out flaws in legal system
-lovely stylish selfies
-call outs of racism, lots of dialogue, and the extension of twitter
80's + 90's GIF TUMBLR
-like gifs of scratched up VCR obscure film openings, and repetitious obscure 80's gifs in general, everything is fuzzy and looks like it came from an 80' infomercial, kinda makes you feel scared
-90's gifs of Pee Wee Herman, Catdog, Clarissa Explains it All, Chucky Cheese, Fruit by the Foot, Beavus and Butthead, Bart Simpson, and so on
HIPPIE TUMBLR
-just like the rich kidz, only they have white kid dreads and post a lot of vanlife stuff, lots of festivals
-mostly psychedelic gifs, with occasional trippy art, Foster the People is their favorite band
-real hippies, who post pictures of communes and people making tyed dye things, nonsexual nudes with hairy women, Grateful Dead stuff
-Buddhist and Hindu quotes, sometimes lilies
SOFT GRUNGE TUMBLR
purple and pink skies, water, windows with lace
girls with pale skin and perfect make up, and chokers, bruises, sparkly skin
mermaid texture, mermaid hair colors
Lana Del Rey
kind of like 90's only more melty and pink
quotes about good vibes
Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless mind reference
moon print
dream pop bands from the early 90's
GROWN UP SOFT GRUNGE TUMBLR
picture of Uma Thurman overdosing in Pulp Fiction
lots and lots of flowers
lots of sensual pictures of pale skin under certain lighting
albino people
albino animals
pictures of sunrises
Reykjavic
kind of like the Soft Grunge, but just a little bit more subtle and film tumblry
ART BLOG TUMBLR
old roman art
chinese, japanese and korean art from long ago
renaissance and medieval art with religious context
just like medieval art of specifically torture
18th and 19th century portrait paintings
Scenic paintings of hills, Van Gogh, Toulouse-Lautrec, Monet
Dada, Pablo Picasso, Jackson Pollock, Salvador Dali, Andy Warhol, Adolph Wolfie
Modern art that is squiggly, slimy, and bizzare, breaks art rules but looks good, David Shrigley
Modern Surrealists
ARTIST BLOG TUMBLR
posts really great homemade gifs that nobody knows about infrequently
blogs that only have the artwork of the blog owner – generally post infrequently and not given enough credit ever, except maybe one of there works has a whole bunch of notes
person who keeps painting the same thing over and over again and does it a lot for years at a time, 0 notes usually – who are you??
collage artists that mix 50's scenes with hyperspace backdrops
FILM BLOG TUMBLR
-Stanley Kubrick, Jean Cocteau, lots of black and white french films
-that movie where the two people are sitting on the ledge of a building and the other one jumps off
Clockwork Orange
-Paris, Texas
David Lynch
Blue Velvet, Twin Peaks (gets stolen by other kinds of blogs frequently)
Wim Wenders,
Rare film art from Poland in the 70's
Jans Svankmajer
Man Ray, Max Ernst,
cool quotes by philosopher, artist, psychologist, or film director
Amelie
sometimes Wes Anderson
PHOTOGRAPHY TUMBLR
abandoned places, gas stations, archaic cafes, falling apart amusement parks
uses too much dark fade out in the background pictures of fields and stuff, overused filtering – posted a ton three years ago and then left
just photostock
girl who takes pictures of herself in costume
Nature pictures, animal pictures ect..
person who just takes pictures of textures and minimalist buildings – usually colorful
person who's personal Instagram picture just automatically post to tumblr also, probably never checks up, usually pictures of them with friends as a pub
Indigenous pictures from around the world, some of them from books, some from National Geographic, some from other places
Super old pictures from old newspapers, the great depression, WW2 – generally black and white
MUSIC TUMBLR
Really likes Led Zeppelin, The Doors and The Who, sometimes mixed with other vintage, often posts the same pictures and songs for years – you feel bad because no new music will be coming out from these artists
super cheesy Van Halen, Kiss, Styx, Ozzy person, Big Hair, likes 80's pin ups and skulls, sometimes into martial arts
super cheesy death metal fan, lots of pinups, corny black and white pictures of skulls and such
REALLY likes British Invasion, The Zombies, The Kinks, The Hollies, The Animals, will occasionally post Detroit girl groups from the 60's, some Velvet Underground, pictures of the Beatles girlfriends
Just David Bowie, Lou Reed, Patti Smith and Iggy Pop. Maybe some New York Dolls
Old Blues and Jazz, Etta James, Son House, Nina Simone, pictures of Leadbelly and Howlin' Wolf and especially Miles Davis
really into post punk, Nick Cave, Siouxsie, Bauhaus, The Cure, Einsturzende Neubauten, Lydia Lunch, PJ Harvey and Rowland S. Howard, sometimes Morrissey. also generally mixes film and art blog stuff in with occasional feminist things
Just Morrissey, they call him Moz.
Fan clubs for specific bands that are newer and popular like Arctic Monkeys or Fallout Boy, but also ones blogs that really like emo lyrics from early 2000's and such – scene kids that are still scenin' it up
loves Jens Lekman, Belle and Sebastian, The Magnetic Fields and The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, Cigarettes After Sex. Usually posts really cute modern art, and uses tumblr mostly for writing, has the cutest hair cut and can pull off overalls, never posts too little or too much, extremely twee
HISTORY TUMBLR
ancient mesopotamia, greek and Egyptian history and relics
Blogs that are specifically about one place in one era - Ancient Russia, Ireland before it was taken over, precolonial India and so on
Samurai, Geisha, and scrolls
Swords, knights, castles, kings of Europe in general
Specific Wars, examples: 7 Years War, Revolutionary War, WW1 + 2
France from before the revolution – pictures of wigged men, Napoleon, Marie Antoinette
Jane Austen time era anything 18th and 19th century, slight excuse to post lots of Pride and Prejudice gifs with Keira Knightly and that Mr. Darcy in the rain
Outfits – just outfits that are really old
person who is obsessed with the Nazis and seems to like Hitler
Flappers and earlier 20th – often an excuse to post gifs of Downton Abbey
Vintage books, often children books, but sometimes others
DESIGN TUMBLR
really fucked up pictures of the Simpsons melting and stuff
gradient graphic art with symbols or words meant to convey a product that I don't understand for an obscure magazine subscription
graphic squiggles without form, minimalist graphic pictures of beach balls, tennis bats, and sneakers
bizarre smiley faces made from smaller smiley faces
80's inspired design
odd looking models with undercuts and no eyebrows
cartoon dogs and cats
just static and glitches. Nothing more, nothing less
either they make their own graphic designs and they rarely post, or they compile reblogs of everyone else's and they post all the time
WEIRDO TUMBLR
insane family pictures of family who all has mullet dressed as bumble bees
Lots of Robert Crumb, some vintage stuff, but nothing remotely main stream
Some of the modern art, but only the weirdest of it
claymation masks
Comix
Moebius
art from early Power Point
100 piece sculptures with melted toys
paintings of monsters
Steve Brule
children's fan art of Smokey the Bear – looks disturbing
Items that are too kitschy to be accepted by your average vintage indie blog
sometimes a specific blog centered around some kind of crazy event where everyone dresses completely insane
POLITICAL TUMBLR
the communists and Marxists
a mixture of BLM and LGBTQ stuff
the libertarians, anarchocapitalists, Ayn rand folk
the left wing anarchists, freegans, graffiti punks, garden punks, possums
informative left wing news that explains to us everyday how the GOP is fucking us
alt. right creeps who are simply here to be trolls and upset everyone else – anti SJW, that stupid frog, nationalists, trump supporters and such – irrelevant poorly thought memes
I miss Obama memes
Bernie Sanders forever and always folk
RAINBOW TUMBLR
pictures of rainbow candies, toys, designs, clothing and so forth all of it rainbow
people who post one color at a time, so when you go through their archive it's all gradient and neat looking – usually the pictures are a little stock photoish though
HALLOWEEN TUMBLR
Betty Page
The Cramps. Reverend Horton Heat
Psychobilly pin ups, old cars, burning skulls, vintage B horror movies, The Swamp Thing
Legitimately obsessed with the activities of Halloween – posts witches, devils, trick or treat candy, Bella Lugosi, The Monster Mash, Halloween decoration - and doesn't ever forget how many days away Halloween is
Jack the Skeleton
Freddy Krueger
FANCLUB TUMBLR
Superwholock
Hannigram
American Horror Story
K Pop and J Pop + Korean Drama
boy bands in general
Hamilton
My Little Ponies
Ghibli Studios
Various anime shows
fat Disney princesses
Super heroes
Pokemon
Big Bang Theory
Mighty Boosh
Monty Python
Phantom of the Opera
Labyrinth
Vampire Chronicles
Orange is the New Black
Breaking Bad
Alice in Wonderland
Harry Potter
Star Wars
Steven Universe
Adventure Time
Game of Thrones and Walking Dead
any television show really
Furry cartoons
lots of spacy quick anime chibi versions of characters who are hooking up and wouldn't normally in the show
scenes from movies with subtext that comes from a different movie or show
probably countless others i am not thinking of.
SPECIALTY TUMBLR
serial killer blogs
unexplained mysteries, ghosts, ufo's
pictures of galaxies with information (not sparkly silly ones with no context)
sewing and yarn
precious stones
cars
just gardening
just cats
religious blogs, either Islam, Christian, Jewish, Hindu or Buddhist
specific animal blogs, snake, spiders, wild cats and such
science blogs about technology and stuff
NATURE TUMBLR
stock photoish pictures of camp grounds and misty mountains – often taken by the hippies
angelic looking deer, and occasional animal burials with flowers'
person who takes pictures of flowers all the time
granola type fellow who loves juicing and backpacking – doesn't get on tumblr much
BLACK AND WHITE GOTH TUMBLR
slenderman fan art, actually just about anything creepypasta related
you have to turn off the music when you visit their page because it's just too much
fan art of black eyed children
slit wrists
pictures that were turned into Gifs because they shake
taxidermy
screamo lyrics
Alice in wonderland with X's for eyes
gothic models
occasional serial killer
skulls and references to Edgar Allan Poe
GIF MEME TUMBLR
just a sea of Gifs and memes relating to anything about life ever – almost shitposting but not quite
eventually one of the gifs got 100,000 notes for it's relatability so they get a lot of traffic
lots of pictures and circumstances from The Office, Parks and Rec, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Nihilist memes
SOFTY TUMBLR
kind of a little girl dom thing going on
Kawai and lots of Japanese girls
cute colorful make up
plushies and toys
references to fantasy cartoons from the 80's, the last unicorn, or that one with the girls in that band
Polly Pockets, Furbies, trolls
gifs of stars and hearts
Sailor Moon
pink bedroom
baby animals
occasionally more on the vintage kitschy side
WICCA TUMBLR
ravens, bats, candles
pentacles and other symbols
crystals
sometimes there is dreads
occasionally, it is a serious practicing Wicca who posts spells and gives witch advice
lots of personal reflections
boobs
GROSS TUMBLR
Tim and Eric, Steve Brule centered blog that are mostly in the act to make you feel queezy
like, people eating cheerios with ketchup and people wearing shoes with the soles cut out, people putting their feet in spagetti, bad tattoos on foreheads
snails, beetles, bird doing mean things to people
mostly moldy things, moss, strange dolls
things that look like they came from the dark crystal,
delapitating bedrooms that once belonged to a little girl, torn wall paper, old porcelain dolls that are slightly upsetting
Clowns
occasionally a blog so gross you will be ruined for having seen it – Two Girls one Cup sort of thing
NERD TUMBLR
old video game start up pages
Super Mario Bros.
Other video game characters
chibis of video game characters interacting with one another
Final Fantasy references
randomly doesn't post for a year
SELF HELP TUMBLR
blog that gives dumb advice that only works if you were already happy anyway
either semi fake or oversimplified 'psyche facts'
blogs from people who suffer from addiction or mental illness and want help and use their blog to vent
blogs ran by people who enjoy crystal meth and don’t give a fuck.
worthy of mentioning, blogs that nobody ever posted a single thing or just one thing, like, really cryptic blogs that nobody could ever understand, blogs that were taken over by some kind of virus and they are trying to sell you male pattern baldness remedies, or they are now call absurdly pornographic things because the virus took over and now they are like blonde cumfuck creampie or something of that nature, and blogs were the person was basically saying they have found a girlfriend/boyfriend now and don’t need tumblr anymore so goodbye
and in my experience ...
anybody can post pictures of jiggly boobs
anybody can post Grace Jones
anybody can post a Bjork song
these seem to be universal truths that defy limitations
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