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isidar-mithrim · 5 years

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Beyond the Veil

[Also on Ao3]

“No fewer than four Stunners had shot from the figures around the cabin toward Professor McGonagall. Halfway between cabin and castle the red beams col- lided with her. For a moment she looked luminous, illuminated by an eerie red glow, then was lifted right off her feet, landed hard on her back, and moved no more.” [Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix]

What if Minerva, in a coma at St.Mungo, had the chance to choose between staying or coming back – between living and dying – as Harry did in King’s Cross? ___________________________________

Minerva opened her eyes.

The sun was high above her head, but oddly enough she could look at it without being blinded by the dazzling light.

She was lying on a cold, flat surface, like a stone pavement of some sort. Determined to look around, she sat up cautiously, expecting to feel sore, but her body reacted smoothly at the command.

Only when she stretched her arms in front of her she realised what she was wearing. It had been ages since the last time she had put on her Gryffindor Quidditch uniform, and she couldn’t hold back a smile remembering her past as Chaser. Oh, how she had missed those youthful days...

Eventually, after what could have been a moment or an hour or a day, she lifted her gaze from her robes and looked around her.

Despite the sky above her head, she was in a closed space. Massive stone walls surrounded her from afar, delineating a huge hall that rang familiar, but had a surreal vibe in it. The colors were dimmed and the outlines shadowy, like immersed in some sort of cloudy mist – like made of some sort of cloudy mist – and Minerva went to check if her lenses were clean, only to realise she wasn’t wearing her reading glasses.

She stood up to explore the place, and after a couple of steps she saw that the hall hosted four long tables – yet, she could swear they weren’t there an instant ago.

Red gold banners were hanging from the walls, and Minerva was squinting her eyes to figure out the animal woven on them when she heard a wheezing in the air.

She turned on the spot and saw the Quaffle right in time to seize it.

“Nice catch, professor!” exclaimed the familiar voice of a young boy with messy black hair. He was smirking at her, and that smirk...

Was he...? But no, no, that wasn’t possible... He must have been...

“Harry?”

The boy chuckled.

“He looks like me, doesn’t he? But he has Lily’s eyes,” the boy said with a warm smile, his hazelnut eyes sparkling with fondness.

Minerva hadn’t seen that gaze in almost fifteen years, but she had missed it dearly.

“James…” she whispered, bewildered.

“In the flesh! At least I think so,” he chuckled.

“Is this... is this a dream?”

“Something like that, yeah. Nice decor, by the way,” he said with a wink, gesturing at the walls.

Finally, Minerva recognized the griffins on the banners, and she finally understood where she was – or seemed to be. In hindsight, she had probably known since the beginning, but for some inexplicable reasons she hadn’t grabbed the concept until then.

“Why are we at Hogwarts?” she asked, still looking around. The tables seemed more defined now, more real.

“How am I supposed to know?” said James, amused. “It’s your dream, professor. Not that I mind the choice, though… I kinda missed it here, you know?”

She thought Hogwarts had missed him as well, but she didn’t voice the sentiment, afraid of getting too emotional.

James was walking around, now, and Minerva let her gaze wander again, spotting an old, worn hat upon a three-legged stool. How many eleven years olds she had let sit on it...

“We are here because Hogwarts is my home,” she whispered in understanding.

James nodded, his warm smile not leaving his lips. “I woke up at home too, when I died.”

Minerva winced, dreadful realisation coming to her. So, that was what had happened... that was the reason she was there. Those Stunning spells had killed her.

Well, her father would have been thrilled to know that even witches deserved a spot in Heaven, or whatever that was – it didn’t seem like Hell, at least.

“Shouldn’t the drapes be black in mourning, since I’m gone?” she joked.

It was a lame attempt, she knew that – she had just found she was dead, in her defence – but she still hadn’t expected James’ eyes widening in horror.

“Oh, Godric, no, no, I’m so sorry, you haven’t died yet, professor!” he clarified hastily, clutching her shoulders as to better convey the message.

She was astonished for an instant, before breathing a long sigh of relief. It took her another long second to grasp the full meaning of his words.

“Not yet?”

“Well...” mumbled James, running a hand through his messy hair – for heaven’s sake, she had forgotten that annoying habit of his. Even if they were discussing her own death, she couldn’t help smiling at the gesture.

“You can still choose to go back. Truly back.”

There was a soft, melancholic longing in his words, and Minerva didn’t need much time to guess why. “Are you saying that... you couldn’t choose?”

James sighed deeply, his features serious for the first time. “I got a different offer... One not as appealing.”

Minerva wasn’t sure she understood what he meant, and probably that showed on her face.

“They gave me the chance every wizard gets: becoming a ghost,” explained James with a shrug. “I wasn’t interested.”

Minerva wondered how hard it must have been for such a young, vibrant boy to turn out eternity.

“Why?” she asked.

“I thought it was better to wait few years to be forever with the people I love, rather than watch them live and die only to spend an eternity without them. And... I wanted to be there to welcome Lily and Harry, if… if they couldn’t flee.”

Minerva felt a lump swelling in her throat, sadly aware that eventually Lily had to die too, to let Harry live.

“But why are we talking about me!” exclaimed James with forced cheerfulness, diverting her mind from those angst thoughts. “This is your moment, professor. Your choice.”

He was staring at her with intensity, and she felt oddly exposed under his gaze. It should have been a simple pick, she knew that, but it was so peaceful there, so beautifully calm...

She took a deep breath. “What would you do, in my place?”

“I’d go back.”

He had spoken without hesitation, and Minerva was taken aback by his conviction. “You’d leave Lily?”

He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “Yeah... I would. For the same reason you’re going to, if I know you well. Our kids.”

Of course, she realised. Even if Lily was there, Harry was not. Lily herself would have wanted James to go back to their son. That made sense for James, but she couldn’t see how it applied to her as well.

“I don’t have kids,” she said, even if James certainly knew.

“Are you sure?” he retorted, gesturing at the long tables with a knowing smile.

Minerva brought a hand to her heart when she saw the benches crowded with faceless teens wearing their Hogwarts uniform. The lovely scent of the feast treats and the joyful noise of the students rose in the air, filling her nostrils and hears, and warming her heart. Minerva hadn’t even realised of how unusually quite the Great Hall had been until then.

“I’m sure they still need their Transfiguration teacher, don’t you think?”

At those words, Minerva began recognising the happy features of her students.

She instinctively knew they would disappear if she got too close, so she watched them from afar, walking back and forth along the spot usually occupied by the teachers’ table.

They all sat randomly mixed together: the youngest with the oldest, fathers with sons, present students with past ones, alive and dead, Gryffindors and Slytherins. They all looked like teens, even those that by now had kids at Hogwarts of their own.

“That’s me!” grinned James, pointing at his other self. “And that beauty beside me... is she Ginny Weasley?” he asked uncertain, and Minerva smiled fondly when she recognised the girl.

“No, that’s Molly Prewett, her mother.”

James stilled, and Minerva could see his eyes getting misty. “And what a wonderful mother she is.”

Minerva laid a hand on his shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. “The best one Harry could have hoped for,” she murmured against the lump in her throat. “Beside her own, of course.”

James rub two fingers on his eyes, pushing his glasses upwards, and to give him a moment to recollect Minerva resumed looking at the students. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Cedric Diggory setting with his father Amos.

This time it was James to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, and Minerva realised she had been staring at them for too long. She took a deep breath and let her gaze wander to another table, and a moment later her eyes fell upon a lighting shaped scar.

“Look at that boy,” she said to James with amusement, pointing at Harry. “I bet you can recognise him.”

“Well, he does have something familiar, now that you point that out,” joked James, but she could see his eyes gleaming. “Never seen those hideous hair before, though,” he added with a smirk, and she chuckled despite herself.

Her smile suddenly faded when she saw the guy in front of him.

“Regulus Black,” she murmured, shaking her head. “Poor, silly boy... I always wondered if I could have done more...”

James took a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess we all wondered. But at the end, he made his own choices, as everybody else.”

“He was just a kid...”

“We all were,” said James. “They all are,” he added, his gaze fixed on Harry.

She looked at the two boys again, and she noticed that they were sitting alone, now. To her surprise, they were chatting animatedly, but despite the renewed quite in the hall, they were too far to be heard.

“I wonder what they’re talking about…”

“I bet they’re saying that Seeking is the best thing in the world, but as incredibly skilled Chasers we both know that’s only a mere illusion,” said James with a smirk.

Minerva smiled. “Well, I’m afraid I must agree. Harry’s still a better flyer than you, though,” she teased fondly.

“No way!” exclaimed James, comically widening his eyes and mouth in pretended shock. “He’s only got a better broom!”

“Sure, if that’s what you want to believe,” she played along, knowing perfectly well how proud James must have been for his son talent.

“For the record, Sirius has never bought me a broom, the tosser. Nor you/, for that matter,” he added with a fake pout, and Minerva felt slightly embarrassed. Of course James hadn’t missed that she had personally paid for that Nimbus, probably breaking several unwritten Hogwarts ethical rules in the process – not that Albus had minded.

She would do it again in a heart beat, anyway, and according to James amused expression, he was perfectly aware.

“Well, what can I say?” she shrugged. “It would have been a pity to waste all that talent on a school broom.”

“Indeed,” nodded James. He was apparently serious, but she could see his lips twitching, and finally he let go the pretense and grinned. “I’m sure that had nothing to do with Harry being the son of your favorite and most talented student ever.”

“Lily was indeed exceptional,” she said, trying to keep her expression stern as well – and failing spectacularly.

“Oh, please. We both know she is too rubbish at Quidditch to be your favorite. And she clearly isn’t the most talented, or should I remind you that I was younger than you when I became an Animagus? And I didn’t even need Dumbledore holding my hand to do it,” teased James. “Pretty sure that seals the deal.”

She shook her head in amusement, recalling her stunned shock the day Albus told her what the so called ‘Marauders’ had illegally accomplished. Looking at James smugness, though, a way older memory popped in her head.

“I can’t believe I’m saying it, but –”

“Merlin, are you really about to admit I was your favorite student? All those years trying to make you say it, and strict logic plus a near-death experience was all you needed?”

“Oh, no, that’s nowhere near enough,” she smiled. “I was simply admitting that becoming an Animagus at fifteen without a proper guidance is a rather impressive achievement, after all.” She almost added that she had no idea how they managed to teach Peter Pettigrew as well, but she cut her tongue right in time. “I will also admit I was quite upset when you so flippantly refused my offer to help you becoming an Animagus yourself. I believe you said something as Unlike you, professor, I don’t need a tacky pretext to show myself off in my birthday suit during random Transfiguration lessons. But if that what’s work for you, who am I to judge?”

James laughed with mirth, clearly delighted. “Godric, that’s pretty accurate, you know? I had to make sure you weren’t going to pressure on the matter ever again. Worth all the night of detention, if you ask me.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” she said with a fond smile. “So, would have you accepted my offer, if you hadn’t learnt it already?”

“Of course I would have! I’d never refuse such an interesting learning experience offered by my favorite teacher. See, not that hard to say,” he winked, and Minerva shook her head in amused disbelief. Oh, she had really forgotten what this boy could do to her…

She was about to admit that he was indeed the most talented Transfiguration student she had ever taught when the sky turned darker, the sun setting on the West.

James put his hand on her shoulder yet again. “I guess it’s time to make your choice, professor,” he said kindly.

“I guess it is,” she agreed. “So, how is this going to work?”

“You just have to choose, I think.”

“You think?”

“It’s my first time doing this welcoming thing! And nobody bothered to told me the technicalities, for the record; the good news is, I’m definitely smart enough to figure it out,” he winked.

But this time his mirth didn’t reach her. It had been lovely staying here with James, and the time spent together wasn’t nearly long enough, but she finally knew what she had to do, and that meant she had to say goodbye.

She looked at him with sadness, and she gasped when he hugged her tightly, almost lifting her from the floor.

He let her go too soon, and fixed his gaze on hers.

“Harry is a fine young man, isn’t he?” he asked with longing.

“The finest.”

“And you’ll take care of him, right?”

“I’ve always had, James.”

“I kno –”

“Merlin, I bet this is one of those scenes you can only see as dead,” said a wry voice in the distance.

Minerva and James turned towards it to find a young boy of breath-taking beauty looking at them in amusement.

“You know, I didn’t expect the world beyond the Veil to look like Hogwarts,” he said matter-of-factly. “And I definitely didn’t expect you to be there, professor. Killer outfit, by the way,” he added with a wink, and she felt her eyes watering.

“Padfoot…” whispered James, his voice cracking with grief.

“I did expect a warmer welcome, though,” he playfully scolded James. “And there’s no need to look so gloomy, you’d think somebody died.”

Sirius was the only one to find the joke amusing.

“What happened?” asked Minerva with a lump in her throat.

“I could ask the same about you, professor.”

“She’s not here to stay,” said James.

“Well, I am. A courtesy of my dearest cousin.”

Sirius was grinning, but Minerva felt her chest heavy, suddenly aware that she had another tough goodbye to attend, now. She wished she could switch places, but she was sure it didn’t work like that.

“Anyway, esteemed professor,” added Sirius with pompous humor, bowing slightly at her, “it’s rather obvious I happened across your missed demise, and I humbly beg forgiveness for the inconvenient intrusion.”

A tiny smile finally twitched her lips. “Forgiveness granted,” she conceded with a nod.

“But since I’m here,” said Sirius, “it would be an honor to run with you one last time.”

A second later he turned in a huge, black dog, who barked playfully and wagged his tail. Minerva understood, and soon beside the dog appeared a tabby cat with spectacle markings around her eyes. It was dark, now, and their pupils gleamed brightly into the night.

When a majestic stag joined them, they moved forward between the central tables, the stone under their paws and hoofs turning in damp grass, the walls of the castle fading away like mist.

On the distance stood the Whomping Willow, its branches motionless, its leaves gently blowing in the wind. The dog barked cheerfully and raced towards it, urging the others to join him, and while the cat was supposed to be the slower and the stag the faster, somehow they all kept running side by side, and nobody was left behind.

When they got close to the Willow, the branches began fidgeting fiercely, but the tabby leapt easily among them and pushed the knot at the base of the trunk.

The tree went still, and stag and dog lied down near the cat, who brushed their fur with her paw and glanced at them one last time, before vanishing in the secret passage.

***

“Can you squeeze my hand, professor?”

Minerva somehow sensed that remote request and made an effort to oblige it, managing to clench her fingers with fair strength.

“Good, very good! Now, can you try opening your eyes for me?” asked the feminine voice.

Minerva painfully lifted her eyelids, and then blinked a few times before adjusting to the light. She was in an aseptic hospital room, and against the white walls and furniture the bright spot of color of a Quaffle easily caught her gaze. Minerva recalled holding one at the beginning of her odd dream, but she couldn’t remember ever dropping it.

“A gift from Gwenog Jones, professor,” said the Healer with a warm smile. Minerva was almost moved when she recognised her as a former Ravenclaw student. “And a lot of people sent you flowers, but since a patient was strangled by a Devil’s Snare few months ago we have to send them back. Hospital policy, I’m afraid, but we put the notes in your drawer.”

Minerva nodded politely, but she really couldn’t care about the flowers, nor the notes.

“Can I hold it?” she asked, looking longingly at the ball. Any other day she would have been thrilled to receive a gift from her favorite team’s captain – another former student of her – but all Minerva could think about right now was that James Potter had given her that Quaffle.

Minerva had been conscious for less than an hour when a silver phoenix appeared in her room and Dumbledore’s voice filled the air, to rejoice for her awakening and update her on the last developments.

Only at the end he announced the terrible news of Sirius’s death.

Only then she finally realised it wasn’t just a dream.

***

The dog and the stag ran and played in the grass until exhaustion, the full moon lightening their steps. Eventually, they collapsed under the usual beech near the shores of the Black Lake, turning in their human forms.

They stayed silent for a while, catching their breath and enjoying the chill of the night.

Sirius was the first to break the quiet.

“I’m a shitty godfather,” he blurted out.

“Harry adores you” said James softly, nonplussed.

Sirius took a deep breath, his eyes fixed on the ground. “How wrong it is that I’m happy to see you, rather than miserable because I can’t be at his side?”

James shook his head. “It’s ok, Padfoot. I missed you too.”

Sirius was silent for a while, before gathering the courage to speak again. “I’m sorry I made you doubt Moony,” he whispered.

“I know.”

“If I hadn’t suggested the exchange…”

“Voldemort wouldn’t have fallen, and the war wouldn’t have ended. Who knows how many innocents would have died because of it.”

They got quite again, and their gaze wandered to the stars.

“Sirius is particularly bright, tonight,” said James, pointing at it.

Sirius snorted.

“Ow!” exclaimed James, playfully shoving him in the shoulder. “Why are you laughing at me, you sod? Have a bit of respect for the older dead!”

“Sirius is particularly bright, tonight,” mimicked Sirius with a high-pitched tone. “Did you kill time taking lessons from the centaurs?”

“I tried, but they sadly refused my entry in the herd. I had to be content with snogging Lily.”

Sirius laughed out loud. “Too bad, eh?”

“Yeah, what a shame,” grinned James. “I bet the centaurs were too envy of my stunning legs to accept me, anyway. They’re quite sensitive, you know?”

“It’s their loss, mate.”

“I guess they also felt threatened by my stunning antlers.”

“Speaking of antlers – or lack thereof – where’s Lily?”

“She’ll be here soon.”

“How soon? I’m kinda offended that she hasn’t shown up yet, if you ask me.”

“You got Minnie, though.”

“She has wrinkles.”

“Well, she hadn’t this afternoon.”

“But she does. And don’t think I didn’t notice you changing the subject. Where’s Lily?”

“I told you, she’ll come.”

“Not if you’re not shagging her,” smirked Sirius. “Or did she dump you for a centaur?”

“I thought we’d already settled that having antlers is definitely cooler?”

“Maybe. Now, where is she?”

James sighed. “She went looking for someone.”

“You really want to make this hard, don’t you?”

James raised his hands, defeated. “Ok, ok, I’ll tell you… but only if you promise you’ll listen to everything he’s got to say.”

“It’s a he, then. Any other clue?”

“Padfoot,” scolded James.

Sirius looked at him with suspicious, but he nodded eventually. “Yeah, ok, whatever. I promise. Now, who is it?”

James smiled enigmatically. “Regulus is particularly bright too.”

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