#minhyuk imagine angst
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A Quick Visit | Lee Minhyuk
Pairing: Lee Minhyuk x Reader
Genre: Smut, military!minhyuk
Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, oral (fem receiving), angst, fluff
Rating: R
Word Count: 12k
Summary: After hearing little from her lover, he decides to give her a late-night surprise. His promise to make it up to her kept her up through the night until she could confront him in the morning.
Masterlist
It never dawned on Y/N that a lover could become a stranger just as quickly as a friend could become a stranger. Whenever distance was thrown into the mix, schedules often became too busy to keep up with simple things, such as a text back.
This fact hung heavily on Y/N’s heart as Minhyuk’s enlistment approached. Her world was suspended, dangerously swinging between past warmth and future uncertainty. The impending distance, the changing schedules, and the quiet unease that unfolded in her thoughts were a recipe for feared isolation.
Minhyuk, however, was well aware of the turbulence shaking her spirit. He could see the pain reflected in her eyes, hear the worry lacing her laughter, and sense the tension in her every touch. So, with a heart full of assurance and lips armed with loving words, he chose to bring her comfort.
“Listen,” he would gently coax, cradling her face in his steady hands, urging her eyes to lock with his. “We’ve weathered more than distance before,” he would assert, his gaze steady, voice firm yet soothing. “Our connection isn’t just measured in miles or minutes; it’s held together by something stronger, something untouchable - our love.”
His words, his steadfast belief in their unbreakable bond, were a bandage for her fears. The understanding in his eyes, his unwavering confidence in their relationship gave her a sense of peace that the tickling hands of worry struggled to displace.
She never felt wrong in her life.
As the cold dawn of Minhyuk’s enlistment day dawned, Y/N found herself standing alongside the other members of his group, their collective grief palpable in the heavy air. The sun shining above them gave her no warmth — one she needed so much but refused to offer such grace.
The stark reality of their possibly changing relationship weighed heavily on her, feeling more real and definite than any of his soothing words of assurance. Minhyuk’s farewell was marked by a kiss. Their lips met in a fragile dance, full of promise but underscored by the bitter pang of impending separation. A promise pronounced in whispers followed that emotional kiss.
“I will message and call whenever I can,” he promised, his voice as steady as the heartbeat Y/N felt against his chest. “You will be the first person to hear from me.”
He’d text and call when he could, semi-keeping to a promise he had sealed off with a kiss. Slowly, those texts and calls grew to almost nothing; his voice on the other end turned from highly expected music into hope. His silence roared louder than the busy chaos of the world and bustling city life, reminding her each day of the gaping distance between them. The absent hum of his voice in the echo of their shared home was a cruel reminder of his unkept promise.
His empty assurances seemed like beautiful lies that momentarily conjured an illusion of hope. Realization washed over her in waves, each more painful than the last. The familiar tang of disappointment filled her mouth, more bitter than any foreboding doubt she had ever held. Despite his comforting words and promises, it seemed she had misplaced her trust. It was a harsh lesson in reality, and Y/N couldn’t help but feel betrayed by the gap between Minhyuk’s words and his actions.
She tried to ignore how her heart broke when she heard of his first appearance since he enlisted. How her teary eyes that begged to burst would only lead to a shaky blur of colors on her phone screen, a nightmare unfolding in high definition. Seeing him as she did, standing in the middle of his adoring crowd, the same fans who were now privileged to his time and attention, while she, the keeper of his whispered dreams and knelt promises, was left to glean his whereabouts from impersonal news updates.
His oblivious smiles and joy were like perfectly timed daggers to her bleeding heart, each moment of rich laughter and vivid enjoyment amplifying her agony. The jarring contrast between the joyous Minhyuk in the photos and the silent Minhyuk in her messages was a brutal, unvoiced slap of betrayal.
Her hands quivered, the phone screen dancing dangerously under wet eyelashes as her promised-to-be-steadied heart clattered down an abyss, fragmenting with every bump of the descent. His absence had been a lingering wound, raw and tender. Still, his blatant disregard — veiled under joyous fancon celebrations — was an insidious poison, slowly dulling her senses until only anguish echoed in hollow places.
Each image of a laughing Minhyuk, each snippet of his well-chosen remarks were hideous amplifications of his silence towards her. The vacant space she had reserved for his communication, his comforting words had now become a desolate island of unvoiced sorrows, painfully reflecting his undelivered promises. Yet, his presence and joy elsewhere signaled that he held time — time that he chose not to share with her, time that she desperately wished to be a part of.
The added knowledge that he held free hours unspoken to her carved the wound deeper, sparking an anguish that scorched through her veins, branding her heart with the bitter aftertaste of betrayal. She had believed they shared a common longing in his silence, but he had etched a cavernous rift between them in his actions. The stark revelation shattered her hope, leaving her grappling with the shards of her trust and their shattered relationship.
That night, the moon was her helping friend. Keeping her company where her heart didn’t. Her mind was a mess of self-hatred and self-doubt mixed into one grueling nightmare that refused to let her sleep. The silence of their apartment, once filled with his laughter and murmurs of love, was now a grim orchestra of her sobs and whispered grievances. The eerie glow of the moonlight, seeping softly through the cracks of the blinds, became the sole witness of her despair, casting long, lonely shadows around the room. Another source that seemed to show her unsaid words of pity.
She contemplated calling off work, giving in to the relentless pain that coursed through her, but the thought of being alone in the apartment that echoed his absence was overwhelming. The thought of the empty silence reminded her unbearably of his quiet disregard for their shared dreams, reflecting their empty relationship.
As the dawn approached, she decided to face the world outside - not for the sake of carrying out her tasks but as a refuge from the solitude. The tiny computer screen at her desk at work was a less painful alternative to the daunting emptiness of the apartment.
Walking through the doors of her workplace, she found comfort not in the friendly greetings from her colleagues nor in the mundane tasks that filled her day but in the sheer act of survival. Each passing hour was a bitter testament to her crumbling heart bearing the weight of his betrayal, a reminder that despite the sorrowful echo in the hollow spaces of her soul, she could — and would — move on.
Her heart – the thing that had dealt the most pain – would never listen to the silly things her brain would tell her. Not even when his groupmates would message her, asking her if he stopped by to say hello and that they missed her and to never be afraid to reach out to them.
“No.” She wanted to so desperately write back. “No, he didn’t come by to see me. How does it feel knowing that he chose you guys over me? How does it feel knowing that my heart is tearing itself apart because he would rather not talk to me but would spend his free time being with you guys?”
But as much as her heart was breaking and everything inside of her was holding back, the tears that felt like one wrong push would completely throw her over the edge.
“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks!” That was all she messaged back before turning her phone off when she noticed her messages were still set to deliver.
Tucking the small device back into her pocket, she offered a strained smile to the coworkers passing by her desk. Every tick of the clock marked another second she was away from the eerie silence of their shared apartment. Each passing moment of the day distracted her mind just enough to keep the tears she’d been holding back from spilling over the edge.
She couldn’t help but cast furtive glances at the phone she had taken out of her pocket for momentary relief, half-dreading and half-hoping for a message from him. But with every passing hour, the anticipation dissolved into disappointment, each confirmation that he still hadn’t reached out to her stinging like a fresh cut on an old wound.
In an office filled with people, conversation, and the hum of life, her solitude never felt more profound. As the day wore on, a sense of dread seeped into her heart. It wasn't the dread of heartbreak, however, but the dread of having to return to an empty home, knowing that she'd be greeted by nothing more than the echoing silence of his absence and perhaps the bitterness along with the shadow of what used to be happiness.
As nightfall approached, she steeled herself. Bracing herself for the long night ahead, she cast one last glance at her silent phone, let out a soft sigh, and began her reluctant journey back home to the ghost of her lover.
The journey back was a blur, a haze of city lights blending with the memory of his smile. As she unlocked the door to their shared apartment, she found herself hoping against hope that he'd be there. Every creak of the wooden floor, every shadow cast by the dim hallway light, echoed a faint possibility of his presence lurking in some corner – a hush greeting, a cozy comfort.
However, the reality was rather stark. The apartment greeted her with a cold emptiness, an echoing silence that amplified the loneliness. The couch lay bereft of his rumpled form, the kitchen devoid of his lingering warmth, and the bedroom mocked her with his untouched side of the bed. She peeked into rooms filled with his absence, her expectations crumbling into an overwhelming sense of despair.
Every nook, cranny, and piece of furniture they'd picked out together now held the aftertaste of his memory. The laughter, shared dreams, and cozy movie nights hung around the apartment like ghostly shadows, a poignant contrast to the present reality. Echoes of their love story played out in painful silence as she navigated her way through the house, a creeping dread settling in her heart with every step.
She would have to face yet another night of longing, another night of silent tears, another night of yearning for a presence long gone. Another night of learning to unlove the ghost of her lover on her own. Yet, she held on, dreading the solitude but embracing it as well, because it was in this solitude that she realized her strength, found the ability to stand amidst the ruins of her heart, and still hope for a better tomorrow.
Navigating her way through the dimly lit apartment felt like exploring a forgotten, treasured moment of the past. The remnants of shared life still clung to the subtlest corners of the house – the picture frames capturing their warm smiles, the hand-picked furniture that had held their shared dreams, the cozy spots touch-marked by their settled bodies during movie nights. All were silent spectators to the drama of absence that unfolded in front of her, each object a trigger to a memory, each memory a knife twisting deeper into her heart.
Her footsteps took her to the door of an old, rarely-used room. A stab of pain hit her as she stepped inside his painting room. The scent of paint and turpentine, the hastily wiped brushes, and the blank canvas on the easel mocked her with their lifeless silence. His room, a sanctuary once filled with vibrant life and color with the mix of laughter and happy cries, was now a tangible echo of his absence. She froze, taking in all the painful details, her heart heavy with the cruel reality mirrored in the lifeless brushes and color tubes.
With a sigh, she turned away from the room, her heart aching with a longing she could no longer quench. Navigating her way through the rest of the house was a bleak journey. Hints of the love they once shared haunted her steps, whispering the past into her ears with every soft creak of the wooden floor.
Wrapped in the solitude of their shared memories, she finally climbed into bed. The room, still bearing the faint residue of his scent, enveloped her in its cold embrace. Alone in the vast expanse of the bed they once shared, she felt the full force of his absence. But amidst this profound loneliness, she found a fragment of her fading strength — a resilience defying the melancholy of the deserted space.
In the hushed serenity of the night, the soft glow of the moon cast a gentle light on her slumbering form. Still lost in her dreams, a faint trail of affectionate kisses began to awaken her from the deep realm of sleep. The delicate pecks started from the shell of her ear, feather-light as they gently traced the curve of her neck and danced down her bare back. Each slight touch, though subtle, stirred her slowly from her peaceful slumber, sparking a soft, pleasing tingle on her skin. A quiet smile graced her lips as she was softly drawn back to consciousness, the hushed whispers of the night broken only by the beat of her quickening heart — a rhythmic replacement for the silence of her once-shared apartment.
The more she was pulled from her dreams, the more aware she became. The soft kisses she had started to welcome soon had her body jerking away in panic, her heart racing as she almost allowed herself to fall victim to whoever decided to break into her home while the night was probably still young. She was more awake as the white sheets gripped her body as she scooted further from the unknown figure.
The figure was silent and hunched over. The silence that filled the room only caused her more panic as she tried to shuffle away more and more, only to be stopped the moment the figure snapped out of the shock they were in and began to blindly reach out for her.
“Relax.” The voice spoke, grabbing her arm and pulling her closer. The more she struggled, the more the figure held onto her tighter. “Baby, relax.”
His voice was a warm contrast to the hostile atmosphere, carrying a soothing yet firm tone that seeped into her panic-stricken senses. It triggered a quick flash of recognition, causing her racing heart to skip a beat. She squinted, just catching the outline of a familiar frame bathed in the weak moonlight, and the tension in her body somewhat abated.
It was him. The figure she had been dreading becoming a stranger. Suddenly, the intruder was no more. It was him — her partner, her lover — whose absence had begun redefining their shared space’s silence.
His hand was warm, and his grip was gentle yet reassuring. The circles he absently traced on her forearm coaxed soothing waves across her agitated frame. The familiar whispery rasp that her ears cherished, the same voice she hadn’t heard in weeks. It was back, drizzling over the tense room.
The fog of panic slowly lifted as the realization settled — he was home. Her heart rate decelerated, the drumming against her ribs fading to a soft thump. She felt a hint of wetness tracing the curve of her cheek — tears, relief, or pent frustrations, she couldn’t tell.
A soft sigh escaped him, the quietest apology. He still held her closer, his grasp a desperate attempt to anchor themselves against the tide of emotions threatening to unchain. Even a slight parting, and they could be swept away back into those weeks of silence.
“Welcome home…” She mumbled faintly, her voice cloaked in relief. As he muttered a quiet “sorry,” they began to mend the silence of her once lonely apartment, filling it with breaths of a shared life. She began to blink, a frown spreading across her face as she had almost wanted to attack him. As she sat there in silence, she began to scowl at the unplanned entrance her lover made.
“I missed you.” He mumbled, his lips kissing the inside of her palm. With the light from the moon, she could tell that her lover was still dressed in his military uniform, no doubt just coming from his base. “I needed to see you; I need you. Please tell me you need me too and missed me as much as I missed you.”
His words were muffled as he continued to kiss her. They were laced with desperation as he moved onto the bed. She could barely see how his eyes flicked up to meet hers, desperation mixed with his beautiful brown eyes.
“Have you been behaving?” He was quick to ask, seemingly uncaring if she had answered him or not. His fingers were quick to rip the sheet away, and a deep-throated groan emitted from his throat as he enjoyed the lack of clothes she presented for him.
His hands moved wherever they could attach, squeezing and teasing her skin as they traveled down her body - from her collarbones to her breasts, down to the curve of her hips. The touch was familiar yet different, carrying an alien edge in its urgency, sending a flurry of mixed emotions through her.
Having caught her breath, she managed to choke out a shaky “yes” while fighting a fresh wave of panic. She was no longer sure if it was fear or something else entirely - a lingering sense of longing, perhaps.
He huffed, the hint of a smile barely visible in the dim moonlight. “That’s my good girl,” he murmured, sending waves of electricity down her spine. His fingers traced along the curve of her hips, the touch almost agonizingly slow. It was a reminder, a homecoming, and despite the onslaught of fear and confusion, a part of her relished it.
However, a significant part of her shivered under the unexpected strangeness of his touch. Something had changed either in him or in their once-shared intimacy. Whether it was just weeks of silence from him or how much she had missed his touch. She wasn’t sure what felt so different.
The silence that had vaguely started weaving around them was now a tangible bowl of questions and insecurities, a scenario she dreaded to unravel. Five months of almost nothing, often barely a greeting other than a simple message, and her only updates often being from social media, had her hesitating.
Her hand caught his, forcing him to halt his exploration. Even in the dim light, his eyes held her gaze, silently asking for an explanation. It was a moment of vulnerable truth they had to face now - their love, their bond kept under the magnifying glass, exposed and examined. The silent echoes of their once-shared apartment now called for answers, and she hoped they had them.
“You never told me you were coming home.” She whispered, her eyes never leaving his own as his shoulders fell in slight defeat. “You hardly message me. You never came to visit me when you were able to…”
“I wanted to surprise you,” He began, moving closer to her once more to kiss the corner of her lip, “Are you unhappy to see me, my love?” He pushed, “Have you not missed me as much as I missed you? Baby, I’m ready to explode. I need you. I’m so needy. I can’t wait. I need you. I need to be inside you. I want to taste you again. I fucking need you. Let me make up for lost time. For not visiting you when I could, please…”
Her eyes observed his movements. Her gasp was loud as he pulled her body down and forced her legs around his waist, allowing his hard-on to brush against her exposed cunt.
“Let me taste you, baby,” Minhyuk whined, waiting for her answer.
His begging eyes held a dark promise, a sinful invitation that she found impossible to resist. She gently caressed his face, a slight smirk gracing her lips.
“Alright, love,” she eventually conceded, her tone laced with suspense. Her heart pounded as a flare of anticipation passed between them.
Minhyuk’s eyes sparked with victory and desire. He bent his head downwards, his husky voice whispering promises of pleasure as he began his descent, further trailing his hands down her body, elevating their intimate dance to a symphony of tantalizing sensations. This, she realized belatedly, was the intoxicating blend of lust and love - an enticing whirlpool of desire and fulfillment - sinfully smutty yet unbelievably romantic.
He wasted no time sliding down the bed until his eyes met her needy cunt. His lips parted as he reveled at the sight, his breath hitching in anticipation.
“So beautiful…” he muttered, his husky voice like warm velvet against her skin. His thumb gently teased her clit, causing her to gasp at the sudden sensation. A wicked smile curved on his lips, hearing her sweet whimper.
“Minhyuk…” she breathed, her voice barely audible under the storm of her desire. He looked up, his gaze holding a fiery promise.
His tongue traced a languid path from her entrance up to her clit, eliciting a sharp gasp from her. A triumphant hum came from him, adding extra sensation to her already sensory build-up. He lavished his attention, alternating between a slow lick and a quick flick, building her anticipation and desire to an excruciating peak.
“Don’t rush, love…” he murmured against her heated core, intoning sinful promise. His aroused gaze met hers, his hands keeping her steady as she writhed under him, futilely trying to get more friction. He chuckled, the sound vibrating delectably against her, sending spasms of pleasure through her. He relished her taste, appreciating their intimacy and closeness, entirely giving himself to her pleasure. He loved to tremendously arouse her longing, driving her to the sweet edge of ecstasy. “Just let it happen naturally…” He whispered darkly, resuming his torturous pace. “I’ll have you cumming in my mouth soon enough. I’ll take care of you.”
“Minhyuk…” she whimpered out, every cell in her body reaching out for his touch. Her legs trembled around him as minutes stretched into an eternity, proving his promise true. Her fingers gripped tighter at the sheets, her breath ragged and hitched in anticipation.
Every sensation was amplified, magnified by the intimate patience with which he worshipped her. The sound of his name on her lips was a sweet symphony to his ears, a clear sign of her impending release. He continued his skillful play, his tongue against her heat, his breath fanning over her wetness, fueling her desire further.
Her hips rolled up, meeting his lips in a desperate plea, and her body quivered, a clear sign of her impending climax. At her first spasm, he pulled back just slightly, only to dive back in, latching his mouth over her clit and sucking gently. The wave came crashing down, her body convulsing under the influence of a mind-numbing orgasm ripping through her. He held her close, his mouth still busied with drawing out all of her pleasure till her high receded, and she lay panting and spent, the taste of her climax still fresh on his lips.
“I told you, love,” he murmured against her oversensitive skin, his voice muffled by her thigh. His words were punctuated with a final, gentle lick as she shuddered again, a soft sigh escaping her lips. Their eyes met, his holding a promise of more to come as she rode the waves of satisfaction washing over her. “I’ve got you.”
Kissing her thighs, Minhyuk left open-mouth kisses all over her stomach and neck until his lips found hers once again. The kiss was impatient and greedy. Y/N knew her lover was close to breaking, and he would no longer wait for his own release.
“I’m done waiting.” He mumbled as he began undoing his pants. “I need you so fucking badly. Can your cunt handle me, baby?”
He watched as she nodded her head eagerly.
“You sure?” He teased, determination lacing his voice. His eyes were filled with fiery intensity and primal hunger that she found intoxicating.
“Yes.” She gasped out, her voice barely audible.
With an approving grunt, he shed his clothes remaining, revealing his arousal in its full hardness. His eye glistened with lust as he ran his fingers through her slick folds, collecting her excitement before smoothing it on himself.
Positioning himself at her entrance, he locked his gaze with hers. This act wasn’t just about penetration; it meant more than that. It mirrored the depth of their desires, the yearning they carried for each other within their hearts.
Slowly, he began his descent into her, finding her wet and ready for him. A tempting purr escaped her at his initial thrust, causing him to twitch within her. “God, you’re so tight.”
With that said, he began to move deeper into her, each thrust showing his intense need. He was slow, then fast - every push and pull creating waves of pleasure rippling through their bodies. Her eyes rolled back as an uncontrollable moan escaped her lips, fingers clutching onto his back as they rhythmically moved as one.
His name was a plead, a whisper, and then a scream that sounded with the collision of their bodies - a sweet harmony to their undying chorus of love and lust.
Their room flooded with sounds of their wild abandonment, gasps, and whispers of their names. He loved every reaction she gave with his deep thrusts into her, the way she arched her body, meeting his. Each grunt and moan they shared in their intimate congress was a reminder of the passion that had bound them together.
And just as the crescendo of their communion was about to be reached, he positioned himself even deeper, looking into her eyes as he thrust hard one last time. A loud cry escaped her lips, her body tensing and convulsing as he followed shortly after, their releases mingling together in a decadent tapestry of absolute, raw, sexual bliss.
All that was left was silence, save for their ragged breaths in unison, the only evidence of passion played out just moments ago, a symphony of their love and lust. He gazed at her, sweat-soaked and satisfied.
“I love you.” He whispered, kissing her deeply. “I love you, I love you. Fuck, I missed you. I miss seeing you every single day. I fucking miss you, baby. I’m going crazy without you.”
His words were like silent chants as his fingers found her own. She observed her lover carefully. Each word of praise and compliments felt like kisses to her body. She heard him sniffle, his head falling down in defeat, but she felt his warm tears kiss her skin.
“Min…” Her words were soft as she cupped his face. The moonlight didn’t hide his red face as he cried. “I’m here.”
She watched as he fell beside her, his head finding comfort on her chest as he cried silently. He was weak and vulnerable. All she could do was hold him close and remind him that even though his time was limited with her, she’d value all time with him.
Kissing the crown of his head, she whispered soothing words, threading her fingers through his hair until his sobs subsided, an unspoken promise to weather the storm together hanging between them. This newfound reality was a cruel one, yet she held on because love, she knew, transcended the limitations of time.
That night, sleep evaded her. She watched him eventually succumb to slumber, his body heavily sunk against her as if seeking refuge from the inevitable. Suddenly, the night seemed longer, each tick of the clock echoing ominously in the dimmed room. Her eyes gazed outside the window, tracing the stars in a futile attempt to find guidance in their ancient twinkling light.
The next morning dawned, bringing with it the familiar blush of an early sunrise. In the soft, warm glow, his face was serene, oblivious to the anger and unfairness of their situation.
Sorrow washed over her as she slipped out of his hold. She cloaked herself in this brief solitude, allowing the tears to flow in quiet rebellion against the day that promised to chip away a piece of their borrowed time. The typical morning noises - birdsong, the hum of distant traffic sounded surprisingly devoid of joy.
The aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air in the kitchen, battling her welling despair with its familiar comfort. As she prepared breakfast, she fought back the lump in her throat. The simple act spoke volumes of her unvoiced fears and hidden hopes, a poignant symbol of unsaid declarations.
However, with each passing second, anger slowly filled her body and pushed away the sadness that crept up. She blinked away the tears, hating how the new ones were replaced with angry ones. She hated how easily she fell for his apology. How he left her without much for months on end and decided he’d instead not visit her while he could.
Her inhale was shaky, and the countertop was cold beneath her hands, a silent pillar of support. Her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and distractions, all dangerously teetering on the precipice of weariness that slowly invaded her soul due to lack of sleep.
Before she could brace herself, she heard movement behind her. Minhyuk was awake. She turned to see his sleep-ruffled hair as he blinked away sleep’s haze.
“Why are you up so early?” He asked, a veneer of casualness looming over his curiosity. She watched as he held out his hand, an invite he’d hoped she’d take. “Come back to bed. We can worry about breakfast later.”
Her heart pounded, a drumbeat loud in her ears. Taking a deep breath, she finally voiced out the thought that had been gnawing at her since the night before. “We need to talk about how you barely keep in contact.”
Minhyuk froze, his eyes wide open in surprise. The silence that enveloped them was deafening, amplifying the harsh reality of her words. She locked eyes with Minhyuk, whose confusion slowly fell away to be replaced with a flicker of understanding and then guilt.
“Why didn’t you keep in touch?” she asked quietly, the weight of that seemingly simple question filling up the space between them. Each word echoed around in their shared silence, a stark indictment of his absence.
“But I…” he began, stumbling over his words, lost for justification. She stood firm, her resolve unwavering. This was a conversation that had been overdue, a piece of their shared reality that had to be addressed. Through her weariness, she found the strength—and anguished determination—to face him and demand answers, even if they promised to unravel the delicate ambiance of their morning. “I’m sorry.”
She watched as the walls around her lover caved in. His eyes looked away from her own, fresh tears prickling away and wishing to fall when given the right time. She knew she had backed him into a corner he didn’t want to be in. But that’s how she felt when he greeted her with nothing.
Minhyuk gulped, visibly struggling with words. “I… I didn’t want my absence to hurt you.” His attempt at explanation seemed to hang in the air, a feeble defense against her palpable anguish. “Fuck – that’s not an excuse, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“But it did hurt, Minhyuk,” she replied, trembling. “It hurt because you were not here. Because you chose to hide from me instead of talking to me. It felt like I was trying to talk to a ghost.”
His gaze fell to the floor, unable to meet the raw hurt in her eyes. The silence grew more poignant between them, the air filled with unthinkable pain and regret. His silence only spurred the sense of sadness, of betrayal that was bubbling within her.
“Why Minhyuk?” She asked again, her voice barely a whisper but carrying a weight that suddenly seemed too heavy to bear. His silence was answer enough. It echoed the months of lonely nights and fearful days, the unattended messages, the unanswered calls, the unsaid words that should have bridged their distance but instead widened it.
Minhyuk drew in a shaky breath, tears and regret moistening his eyes. He opened his mouth, finally ready to answer, willing to brave the storm of emotions threatening to drown them both. Their borrowed time was ticking away just as their challenging conversation was only getting started.
“I was scared. I… It’s not like I’m away on tour. This is different for both of us. I’m trying, but I’m scared you won’t wait for me,” Minhyuk confessed, his voice echoing vulnerability and fear.
“And that’s why you chose to distance yourself?” she asked, her tone laced with bitterness. “You made the choice for me? You decided I wouldn’t wait without even giving me a chance to decide for myself?”
He looked flustered, a shadow of his usually confident self. “I… I guess I did. I was just trying to protect you, to protect us,” he stammered.
She gave a hollow laugh. “And look how well that turned out.” Her sarcasm was a bitter pill, a harsh realization of their predicament. She breathed deeply, “We weather what comes together, Minhyuk. That’s what love is. You don’t get to decide what I can and cannot handle.”
His gaze met hers once more, tear-streaked but resolute. Silence enveloped them again, but this time, it wasn’t one of confusion or guilt but of understanding and, hopefully, resolve for better communication in their uncertain future.
“How fucking dare you?” She hissed, pointing at him as angered tears brimmed her eyes, “How dare you walk in here and think that just because you fucked me that I’d forgive you? That it would make anything okay? Minhyuk, I waited for you! Months and months! All I got from you were twice-a-week texts when I was lucky and videos of you attending the boy’s concert. How is it okay for me to see you on social media but not in person? Not until last night when you were too horny to control yourself. To actually wake me up like a normal person would.”
She watched as Minhyuk stood there, listening to her anger-filled words. There was a mix of emotions in his eyes - regret, self-reproach, and a deep-seated sadness. He appeared as if her words had physically pained him, but he made no move to defend himself. Instead, he stood there, absorbing each painful accusation, each sniffle, each tear that slipped from her eyes.
Minhyuk raised a shaky hand to his face, brushing away a stray tear from his eye. He watched her momentarily - the woman he claimed to love, yet unintentionally hurt. The silence settled around them, filling the room with tension and desolation.
“We knew from the start, Y/N, it was going to be hard juggling both my career and our relationship,” Minhyuk started, his voice raspy as he tried to steady his breathing, “But I let things spiral out of control. I admit that. Last night…,” he paused, looking away briefly, “Last night was wrong on so many levels. I was selfish, desperate to be close to you again in whatever way possible.”
Slowly, Minhyuk moved towards her, his actions filled with caution, but she did not flinch or move away. Instead, she watched him with tear-filled eyes, her anger dissipating into a silent plea for understanding.
He reached out for her again, testing the waters to see if she would move. His shoulders fell in relief as she allowed his hand to hold hers. It was a silent step in the right direction. Hopeful he was making the right moves.
“I won’t beg for your forgiveness or try to sugarcoat my mistakes. But I need you to know,” he continued, “that I never took you lightly. When I was with the boys, going to concerts, you were always on my mind. I promised you my heart, Y/N, not just my free time.”
She could see the sincerity in Minhyuk’s eyes. It did not heal the breach, but it was a start. There was a lot he needed to explain and make up for. But at least they communicated openly and honestly for the first time in many months. It was a step towards understanding, even if forgiveness was still miles away.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you. I should’ve told you I was free. I just… I fucked up. I don’t want to lose you. Let me make it up to you. Properly this time. The way you deserve it.”
His words echoed through the room, filled with desperation and regret. He stood before her, stripped of all pretenses, laying bare his emotions. In this moment, humility replaced his usually bold demeanor, and the heartfelt sincerity shone through.
Despite the whirlwind of emotions swirling within her, Y/N couldn’t ignore the genuine regret etched onto Minhyuk’s face. For the first time, perhaps, he truly understood the pain he had caused and the magnitude of his mistakes. Amidst the lingering anger, a feeble spark of compassion ignited in her heart.
Finally, she spoke softly and tentatively, “It’s not about making up, Minhyuk. It’s about change. It’s about understanding what went wrong and ensuring it doesn’t happen again.”
Minhyuk nodded, accepting her terms unconditionally. He pulled her into his arms, his lips kissing her forehead as he always did when he was genuinely sorry.
“I promise, Y/N.” He whispered, his lips unmoving from kissing her forehead. “Come back to bed with me. You have me until tomorrow. I’m all yours.”
With a quiet acknowledgment of her words, he wrapped his arms around her, guiding her toward the bedroom. It was evident that he was full of remorse about what had happened, and he was eager to make things right. He was warm behind her, his body curving naturally against hers.
They moved together in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. The creaky floorboards beneath their feet echoed their tentative steps, and the soft cast of the morning sunlight cast a soft glow on their faces. As they stepped back into the room, the air grew heavy with unspoken words and understanding. The bed was unmade and inviting, a beacon of comfort in the otherwise empty apartment.
The sheets, still warm from their prior slumber, welcomed them in its embrace. He carefully climbed in first, patting beside himself and inviting her to join him. He watched as she hesitantly climbed in next to him, crawling under the covers before turning to face him. His eyes scanned her face, taking in its every contour, every remnant of their shared grief and unspoken understanding.
He closed the distance between them, pulling her into his arms. His hold was comforting yet painfully familiar, reigniting the spark that once existed between them. His fingers traced patterns on her skin, a mindless action that used to put her right to sleep. His lips pressed against her forehead in a gentle kiss, an act of apology, of promise.
“I promise, Y/N,” he whispered against her skin, his voice barely audible. The words, laden with sincerity, echoed in the room’s silence. His promise hung heavy in the air, intertwining with the quiet hum of the night. “I - I know my promises may not mean too much to you... but this time is different.”
His hold tightened around her as they lay in the quiet room, his fingers tracing familiar patterns on her skin as she turned her back to him, allowing him to pull her as close as possible, spooning her. Despite his best efforts, sleep refused to claim her. Minhyuk sensed her restlessness, her untold thoughts echoing in the silence that stretched between them.
Deciding to break the silence, he whispered, “Y/N, how have you been?”
“Minhyuk, I’ve been terrible.” Her hesitant breath hitched at his question, and she responded with brutal honesty. The words were strained, and a bitter laugh devoid of humor escaped her lips. She took a calming breath before continuing, “I cry every day, you know. And my coworkers... oh god, the pity in their eyes, Minhyuk. It’s unbearable.” Her voice shivered, her pain bleeding through her words. “Every day I waited for you... hoping for something, anything. But I was met with nothing.”
As she spoke, he felt his heart clench. Each word was like a strike against his chest. His arms instinctively closed tighter around her, an attempt to pull her closer, if possible, to shield her from any more pain. But even as he did so, he realized it was him causing the pain. His promises of change rang hollow in his ears compared to her raw and truthful suffering.
Despite his comforting hold, shared warmth, and the quiet hum of the morning light, sleep continued to elude them. In its stead, guilt, regret, and a longing for repentance again settled over Minhyuk.
Her honest confession shocked Minhyuk, its raw intensity piercing through the fragile silence. Each word she spoke was laden with a bitter agony that stung him to the core. Her reality, shaped by his indiscretions, rocked him to reality. The words ‘terrible,’ ‘crying,’ and ‘pity’ echoed in his mind, searing his heart with a guilt that was becoming increasingly unbearable.
He clung to her desperately, his embrace tightening as if to shield her from the pain he himself had inflicted. Yet each word she uttered, the honesty behind her pain, shattered his illusion of being her protector. Every confession she whispered made him understand that he was not the guardian but the monster from whom she needed protection.
The anguish in his heart welled up, and his eyes welled up with unshed tears, spreading a wet warmth on his cheeks. His breath hitched as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, hoping she wouldn’t hear his silent sobs. The realization, the hard-hitting reality of the pain he had inflicted on her, was a torment he had never predicted.
As sleep remained far from the pair, a wrenching guilt seeped into him, pooling around his heart. He held her close, his apology hanging heavily in the shared silence. His quiet tears continued to soak their shared pillow, a tangible testament to his regret and an act of repentance for his transgressions. Every ticking second, his guilt grew, blossoming into a suffocating remorse that stagnated the air around them.
His guilt reached an unbearable intensity, smothering him under its weight. With shuddering breaths and teardrop-laden eyes, he mustered up the courage to break the silence. Fragile and burdened with regret, his voice was hardly above a whisper, “Y/N... I’m... I’m so sorry.”
The words felt inadequate, a pitiful attempt to convey the ocean of remorse that swam within him. Each syllable chipped away at his composure, leaving him vulnerable and exposed to her. His tears continued to fall, leaving warm trails on his cheeks. The same tears that held no care if they wet her shoulders. His body shook with silent sobs, tremors of guilt that reverberated between them.
“I was... I was wrong,” he admitted, the words a mere breath against her hair. “I hurt you... you didn’t deserve any of this.” The weight of his words hung heavy in the air, his apology tainting the once comforting silence.
He broke further with each word he uttered, a solemn testament to his regret. The guilt within him crackled and ate away at his composure, each ticking second grating at his resolve. Facing the magnitude of his transgressions, he found himself on the precipice of despair, teetering on the edge of a chasm that threatened to swallow him whole.
In his state of desolation, Minhyuk clung to her, desperate for a semblance of stability as he navigated the tumultuous storm of his remorse. The anguished vulnerability that gripped him served as a stark reminder of the path of pain and distress he had inflicted upon her. Absorbed in his spiral of regret, sleep remained a distant echo, replaced by the unending cycle of apologies that streamed from his broken heart. His anguish echoed in the silence, a stark contrast to the harmonious hum of the morning enveloping them.
Taking a shaky breath, he looked up at the ceiling with tear-stained eyes, his voice stuttering in his remorse. “After the fancon... I regretted not coming to see you,” he admitted the words carrying an immense weight of guilt. He could still remember the joy in the fans’ eyes, a stark contrast to the pain he had caused her. “I fucking hated myself.”
His laughter with the fans and the camaraderie he shared with them was a gut-wrenching reminder of the time he could have, should have, spent with her. Was the joy he felt worth the pain he had caused her? The answer was painfully evident.
“I consumed myself in self-hatred for weeks.” His voice was barely a whisper, fervent yet pained. Each word seemed to scrape at his throat as if the vocal embodiment of his regret was just as painful as the emotional turmoil within him. “And I... I got even more scared to message you because I knew... I knew you saw everything. I was scared you’d hate me. That you would realize I was never good for you, that you deserve someone who can give you their time.”
His confession was met with silence, further amplifying the heavy echo of his guilt. His body shook, trembling under the weight of his regret. It was almost as if confessing his remorse carved open wounds within him, the anguish seeping out and staining the silence between them.
Every passing second was a painful reminder of his what he had done, his guilt growing like a malignant tumor within him. His regret had become an unending cycle, suffocating him with remorse to the point where sleep remained a distant desire. His hushed apologies and silent sobs stayed suspended in the air in stark contrast to the harmonic hum of the night, filling the room with an unbearable heaviness.
Lost in his storm of regret, Minhyuk clung to her, yearning for the stability and warmth she always provided him, a stark reminder of what he had so carelessly discarded.
“Say something...please,” he pleaded, his voice barely a whisper in the dense stillness. Despite his trembling form and tear-streaked face, he mustered the courage to break the silence again. The void of her response scared him, the silence morphing into a beast threatening to consume his sanity. He was terrified of losing her, losing the only solace he had known amidst the chaos he had created. “Please Y/N...”
In a desperate attempt to see her reaction, to gauge her feelings, he gently turned her to face him. The sight that met him was as tormenting as the silence. Her features, usually radiant and warm, were dull and tear-streaked, mirroring his own despair. Her silent tears were a stark, painful echo of his actions, of the harm he had caused.
The reality of their shared suffering intensified his guilt, making it an almost tangible presence in the room. His apology felt inadequate, a feeble attempt against the pain he saw mirrored in her eyes. His wrongdoings and choices led them to this point of shared agony. Every tick of the clock reminded him of his actions and the remorse that was now their companion.
The air was heavy, almost tangible, with the weight of his guilt, the despair radiating from him in waves. Sleep remained a distant dream, replaced by the relentless grip of regret tightening around him. The muffled echo of his sobs and the harsh contrast of their anguish against the peaceful morning only highlighted the gravity of the turmoil within them. Clinging to her, he sought solace amidst this storm, the warmth of her presence amidst the cold dread of his regret. The realization of the depth of pain he had inflicted loomed ominously, a cruel taunt of the love he had so recklessly mishandled.
She made an attempt to speak, yet her voice wavered, choked by tears and the overwhelming wave of hurt he had inflicted upon her. The sound, or rather the lack of it, crushed him further. He held her tighter as though the strength of his embrace could blot out the cruel reality of their situation.
“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he gasped between sobs. Apologies poured from him, a cascade of remorse, grief, and desperation. Each word was a palpable fragment of his guilt, echoing in the oppressive silence of their shared space. His voice was a broken whisper, the raw edge of emotions making it almost inaudible.
“I’ll... I’ll do better,” he promised, clinging to her like a lifeline as if she was the only thing anchoring him in his sea of regret. “I’ll try to... to wrap up early, be home with you... You need - deserve better. More than I’ve given you.”
The admission ripped through him, a brutal acknowledgment of how profoundly he had failed her. The hands that held her trembled, reverberating the aftershocks of his guilt through her. She was crying silently, a damning testament to his actions.
His guilt was a suffocating entity in the room, a hovering ghost casting long shadows over what was once their respite. His hushed promises and tear-laden apologies hung in the air, each a testimony of his pain and regret. His desperation echoed in the cruel morning silence, bouncing off the walls and seeping into every corner of their shared space. It was an inescapable reminder of his recklessness, a stark contrast to the serenity the morning glow, under different circumstances, would usually bring. His hell was one of his own making, a torment born from his choices, his regret a constant companion.
“Maybe... maybe I don’t deserve you, Y/N. Fuck, I definitely don’t deserve you,” he confessed, burying his face in her hair. “But I need you... I can’t do this without you. I’m too selfish to let you go,” he admitted his voice a thread of barely contained anguish. His hands, trembling and unsure, gently cupped her face, his thumb lightly tracing the trail of tears that stained her cheeks. Her anguish, a damning testament of his actions, was clear and evident in the tear tracks. “Is that so wrong? Why am I so fucking selfish with you when I push you away? I’m a monster.”
As if to assuage his guilt and offer a wordless apology, he pressed tender kisses on her forehead, temples, and cheeks, each one a silent vow. His lips lingered a moment longer on each tear-stained spot as if hoping to kiss away the hurt he himself had caused.
The room was filled with his whispered promises, his broken apologies, each word raw and heavy with regret. The atmosphere clung onto each syllable, echoing his desperation throughout their shared space. He clung to her, his lifeline in the turbulent sea of guilt and regret. Her warmth was a harsh reminder of what he stood to lose, of the love he had so foolishly mishandled.
Despite the despair that gripped him, despite the guilt that threatened to consume him, Minhyuk held onto hope. A hope that was encapsulated in her, a hope that she would find it in her heart to forgive him, to give him another chance. Yet, her silence and tears tore at him more painfully than her words ever could. His hell was a torment of his own making, a grave he had dug out for himself with his recklessness and disregard.
Finally, she spoke. Her voice trembled, mirroring her emotions. Wracked with sobs and choked with tears, she uttered, “Minhyuk...”
The sound of his name, laced with so much pain, hurt more than any words of reprimand could. It was a brutal echo of his actions, a painful reflection of the harm he had caused. Yet despite the sting, he clung onto the vestiges of her voice, desperate for any semblance of a response, validation that she was still willing to communicate with him, to give him a chance to repent.
“Do you remember that day at the amusement park, Minhyuk?” she whispered, a hint of nostalgia creeping into her voice. Her voice trembled, telling the tale of a time when they were both younger and less burdened. “You were trying to impress me by winning me that stuffed toy, but you fell into the dunk tank instead. Everyone was laughing... and you... You were soaking wet, shivering, but still grinning like a fool.”
She let out a shaky laugh, a warm yet tormented sound that briefly dispelled the oppressive atmosphere. He found himself chuckling along, the memory of that embarrassing incident being a bittersweet reminder of happier times. Her soft laughter was like a ray of sunlight piercing through storm clouds, illuminating the dark corners of his guilt.
Slowly, the gloom of the room retracts a little. As if the clouds decided they had spent enough time blocking the sun’s shine. Her laughter echoed lightly against the walls, bouncing back to them like a tender caress, a small salve on their shared wounds. Minhyuk closed his eyes, holding onto the sound of her laughter, onto the memory of that day, onto the little bit of hope it offered, and let a careful sigh of relief escape his lips.
“I remember, Y/N... I was drenched, and everyone was laughing. But you...” He pressed closer to her, his laughter dying as he whispered, his voice dropping lower, a thread of emotion weaving through his tone, “You were there, standing up for me, your laughter the brightest thing I had ever heard. I fell for you even more that day.”
The mood had been lightened a bit, but the truth of their situation still loomed heavy around them. Yet, in that moment, they found a shared comfort in a cherished memory, a respite from the storm that still had to be faced. They clung to each other, the story of their past serving as a small beacon of light amidst the darkness of their present.
“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he whispered again, his voice barely above a breath, a fragile testament to his pain. Drawing her as close as he could, he locked eyes with her. Tears formed watery rims around his eyes, the ghosts of the laughter from their shared memory fading into the wind. “I’m sorry I was a ghost. Everything you worried about and begged for to not happen… it happened, and it was my own fault. It was all me.”
His thumb caressed her cheek gently, wiping away the fresh flood of tears that threatened to spill from her beautiful eyes. The moment’s intimacy, the raw emotion, turned every touch, every whisper into a poignant echo in the hollow silence.
“Kiss me, Minhyuk,” she said. Just as his face neared hers, ready to lose himself in her again, she held up a hand. The words that softly passed her lips gave him pause. Despite the curtain of tears, her eyes had a determined glint, her voice carrying a wavering note of resilience.
Respect for her wishes and his own yearning propelled him to gently press his lips against hers. It was a kiss filled with regret, desperate promises of reformation, and the faint hope of forgiveness. Their shared pain resonated in this exchange, this moment of desperate connection. His guilt, her forgiveness, and their collective hope for a better tomorrow were all locked in this lingering kiss, a poignant denouement to the regret-filled morning.
She gently pulled away from the kiss, her gaze steady yet filled with unshed tears. “Can we... Can we re-do last night?”
The question hung in the air between them, fragile as glass yet as heavy as lead.
His heart swelled in his chest. Was this a chance for redemption? For atonement? He searched her eyes, desperately seeking affirmation, and found his answer in the vulnerable depths of her gaze.
“We don’t have to...” he started, his voice almost a plea, a need to reassure her that there was no obligation, pressure, or expectation. But she silenced him with another kiss, her hands cradling his face.
“I want to... with you,” she said softly, her gaze steadfast on him and her heart bared open. “I want to make love to you, Minhyuk.”
With a shaky breath, Minhyuk nodded, his voice a soft whisper in the silent room. “If that is what you wish, Y/N, I am here,” he assured her, his eyes shining with gratitude and a newfound determination.
He leaned in to gently kiss her neck, trailing his lips down with reverence. His kisses were feather-light, yet they marked her skin with a delicate heat. His fingers traced non-specific patterns on her skin, feeling the familiar warmth beneath his touch. He held her with one arm, using his free hand to explore her physique, treading on the known yet novel territory.
Minhyuk moved cautiously, letting his hands roam over her body, every move a silent question seeking her approval. At each motion, she would hum a soft affirmation, encouraging him to continue. He took his time, savoring every response and every gasp of pleasure that escaped her lips. All he wanted was to make her feel cherished and treasured. Like he should have before.
Her pulse quickened beneath his touch, their breaths hitching in sync. The sound of his name on her lips sounded like a prayer. This time, it was different. It wasn’t about seeking solace or escaping but about reaffirming and reminding each other of the love they once passionately shared.
This intimate moment was a far cry from their previous encounter. There was an eminent sense of respect and a deep understanding of each other’s needs and boundaries. It was about seeking healing, seeking comfort in their shared desire, and assent to rewrite the unwelcome memories of the previous night.
“I love you,” he whispered against her skin, his voice fading into a husky rumble. He dipped his head low, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder. She smiled, her eyes filled with unspoken emotions. “You’re so beautiful. A daydream.”
Minhyuk’s breath hitched as his fingers slowly slid down, journeying across her body. His touch was feather-light yet deliberate, tracing the curves of her form with the reverence of a lover enshrined in history, familiar yet intoxicatingly novel.
He carefully slid a hand lower, his fingertips gently grazing through the soft fabric of her undergarment. Her quick breath intake was all the approval he needed to push. Further, his fingers now tracing delicate patterns against her, raising goosebumps of pleasure in their wake.
His other hand cupped her face, thumb stroking her cheekbone in gentle arcs, his gaze locked onto her expression, a silent plea for continued affirmation in her eyes. Her lips parted, releasing a soft moan at his touch, her eyes half-lidded with ecstasy yet still holding that deep trust for him.
His actions were slow and punctuated, each a statement, a question, a request for consent. Time seemed to still to the rhythm of their beating hearts as they journeyed closer to that peak of intimacy, poised on the brink of pleasure and transcendence.
As his digits began to delicately explore her, their shared breaths grew more erratic, the soulful intimacy of the moment amplifying the sensory pleasure. A soft gasp echoed in the room, her hands clutching at his shoulders, a hushed plea of his name creating an orchestra of sounds in the otherwise silent room, adding to the melody of their shared union.
His fingers continued their delicate exploration, rhythms matching the steady rise and fall of her chest, creating a symphony of whispered pleas and strangled gasps. Her hands curled tighter into his shoulders, her breath hitching in sync with his every careful movement.
The room filled with their shared exhales of pleasure; the whispered utterances of each other’s names were a testament to their surrendered control. His attentions only intensified, the deliberate movements of his fingers heightening her pleasure, each apt touch making her arch into his touch.
His focus was intense, his gaze never leaving her face, quietly seeking her consent while noting each expressive tell of her rising pleasure on her face. His name fell from her lips, a whispered plea, her eyes lidded heavy with desire and trust.
She clutched him closer, her fingers digging into his bare skin in response to his skilled attention, each movement bringing her closer to that precipice of breathtaking ecstasy. He could feel her body begin to tighten around his fingers, her breathing ragged.
With a final arch of her back and a hushed gasp of his name, he felt her shatter against his touch, their shared breaths the only sound in the still, moonlit room. The intimacy of their rendezvous echoed in the otherwise quiet space, bearing testament to their tender, healing union.
They lay there together in the immediate aftermath, her body still trembling from the recent onslaught of pleasure. Her breath gradually slowed to match his, their chests rising and falling in sync. For a moment, they simply basked in each other’s presence, the depth of their shared connection enveloping them like a comforting blanket.
Minhyuk pressed gentle kisses to her forehead, cheeks, and nose —respectful, worshipful. His fingertips traced lazy patterns on her skin, each touch further solidifying their undeniable bond. In response to his movements, she entwined her fingers with his and sighed contentedly, her breath fanning over his neck.
“Minhyuk, I... I want more,” she murmured, her gaze locking onto his, filled to the brim with trust and unguarded passion. He hummed in acknowledgment, eyebrows raised in silent question. “Please...”
Visibly taken aback by her words, Minhyuk searched her eyes for any trace of doubt, but all he found was sincere desire and earnest anticipation. As a form of consent, he nodded and pressed his lips to hers in a heated kiss before allowing his touch to travel further, intent on satisfying her newfound curiosity.
His fingers slowly began to undo the remaining clothing barriers between them, his gaze never leaving hers, asking for silent affirmation with every button undone; every inch of fabric slipped off her body. The metabolism of his heartbeat mirrored in the anticipation twinkling in her eyes. She reciprocated his efforts, tugging at his boxers, their clothes pooling at their feet.
“Can I...?” she asked, her tone laced with uncertainty as her gaze met his, a mixture of desire and determination etched into her features. He nodded, aware of her unspoken desire, and satuating himself comfortably against the headboard.
She moved to straddle him, her knees dug into the mattress on either side of his hips. Her fingers trembled slightly as she reached for him; his breath hitched in his chest at the contact. He watched her from beneath half-lidded eyes, noting the flush that spread across her cheeks, the slight shudder that ran through her spine as she began to sink down onto him.
Greater sensation overwhelmed him as she adjusted to him, her pace deliberately slow. His hands moved to rest on her hips, aiding her in finding a rhythm that brought pleasure to them both. Her head fell back, lips parted in a silent moan as her body moved against his, the sound of their mingled breaths filling the room.
Her movement was a dance, beautifully rhythmic and sinfully enticing. Each roll of her hips into his served as a testament to their shared desire, every shared moan a proof of their unspoken passion. She leaned forward to capture his lips in a heated kiss, their bodies meeting each other’s in a rhythm only they understood.
As she set the rhythm, he moved with her, hands traveling the expanse of her bare body, relishing the softness of her skin. His fingers traced the curves and valleys with a sense of awe, fingers dipping into places that earned him soft sighs and gasps of pleasure from her lips.
“You’re so beautiful,” he managed to say, his low rasp vibrating against her skin, amplifying their ongoing intimacy. His gaze traveled the length of her, taking in her blossoming form, flushing under his touch, half-obscured in the diffused moonlight streaming in through the window. “You are everything to me. My world, my breath, my heartbeat.”
Acknowledgment of his heartfelt compliment was a slight hitch in the movement of her hips and an appreciative nudge against his hands, pressing him to explore further. Her body was a work of art, each movement sinfully enticing, making him hard to resist.
The sight of her, eyes glittering with pleasure, body moving fluidly against his in the most tantalizing way, was nothing short of empowering. He reached up and cupped her face, drawing her down for a deep, passionate kiss, their tongues dancing with the same rhythm their bodies had set. He conveyed his affection, admiration, and reverence through their lips meeting.
She moaned against his mouth, her body arching into his touch, seeking more, offering more. His hands guided her movements, each stroke setting her senses on fire. Desire mounted as their bodies meshed, the fervent connection sending them spiraling toward a climactic crest. His name rolled off her lips in a breathless whisper, a sweet melody to his ears, pushing him further into passionate depths.
As she continued to move, he marveled at the sight of her in the throes of pleasure. His hands explored the expanse of her body. Each touch, each caress, was a silent praise.
“You’re a vision.” he breathed out, his voice heavy with ardor. Her skin, flushed and glowing in the dimly lit room, encouraged him further. His fingers traced the curve of her waist and the swell of her hips; every part of her underneath his hands was a testament to her beauty.
Each roll of her hips against his elicited a low moan from him, each sound spurring her on. His praise, their shared desire, and their intimate connection continued to fuel their actions. She bent down, pressing her lips onto his as she continued to ride him, matching the rhythm of their shared breathing.
Their bodies moved in sync; the feel of her soft skin against his and the expression of pleasure etched on her face was nothing short of intoxicating. He relished in her reaction, watching as she arched her back, lost in the pleasure he was providing her.
When the climax arrived, it was like a wave crashing over them. She cried out his name, her body shuddering with the overwhelming sensation. He followed soon after, his body tensing as he reached the peak of his pleasure. Nothing but their shared breaths filled the room, the sound echoing like a testament to their passion. A shared intimacy that was more than just physical, a bond that was deep and unfathomably profound.
As the waves of pleasure began to decrease and the heightened sensitivity slowly faded, they found each other tangled in a comfortable embrace, their bodies still humming from the recent high. He held her close, her body nestling perfectly against him, their heartbeats synchronizing in the tranquility of the afterglow.
“Are you okay?” he murmured into her hair, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on her bare skin, the intimacy of the question matching the intimacy they had just shared. A simple “Mhm.” was her content response, her warm breath fanning over his chest, lulling him into a sense of serene comfort.
He rolled onto his side, pulling her along with him, tucking her against his body so that her head rested on his chest, right over his heart. His fingers explored her body in a different way now, absent of lust but filled with an overwhelming affection. His touch was tender this time – a worshipful appreciation of her presence and trust in him.
“Promise me,” he began, his voice but a soft murmur seeping into the room’s stillness. Her heart skipped a beat as she looked up at him, those usually playful eyes now filled with a seriousness that she rarely saw, “Promise me we’ll always be there for each other like we are now.”
“I promise,” she whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his chest, right above his heart where his promise was undoubtedly echoed. The seriousness of his gaze made her heart flutter, and despite the mild surprise, she knew there wasn’t a single doubt in her mind. His arm around her tightened, a silent acknowledgment of their shared promise.
From then on, it wasn’t just the cuddling or the lingering kisses they shared. It was the unsaid promises and the whispered vows amid silence. It was how he looked at her like she was his entire world. They held each other as if reassuring themselves of the other’s presence. It was the intimacy and the affection that filled the room – something that was long overdue and now would never be lacking again.
“I’m going to miss you, Min.” She uttered. Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper, as if she was afraid her words might shatter the tranquility of their intimate moment.
Minhyuk let out a soft sigh, his fingers lightly stroking her hair. He didn’t want her to worry about the future, not when they were wrapped up in each other’s arms in the present.
“I’m here now, aren’t I?” He murmured, his tone gentle, reassuring. “I’m here tomorrow, too. I’m all yours. We could stay in bed all day, order out if we have to.”
When she nodded against his chest, he continued. “And when I’m done with my service, I will take some time off. We can spend that time together. No distractions, no obligations. Just you and me.”
“Promise?” She asked, her voice quivering slightly, her eyes sparkled with unshed tears at his words, her heart swelling with love and affection for him.
“I promise,” he affirmed without hesitation, tightening his arms around her in a comforting hold. His plans were sincere, a future sculpted around them. His words were an unsaid promise, an understanding that their bond isn’t transitory, just paused for the better. The weight of his words hung in the air, an oath sworn and received, a pledge of a future where their love held prominence.
“And there’s something else I promise,” he said, his voice quiet yet steady as he locked his gaze with hers, a seriousness reflecting in his usually playful eyes. He took a deep breath as if gathering his courage before continuing. “When I’m done serving, and I’m back, I... I want to marry you.”
The words sunk into the room’s silence, like a stone thrown in a still lake, leaving ripples of reactions on her face. His proposal was straightforward and earnest, a confession that came from the depths of his heart. He was offering a future, not of doubts but of certainty. He was offering a life together to brave any storm that would come their way.
“I’ve thought about this for a while,” he admitted, his arms holding her closer. “I know it’s a big decision, and I don’t want you to rush your answer.” He sighed, his thumb gently brushing a tear away that had trickled down her cheek. “I want you to be sure.”
“But yeah,” he continued, his voice quieter now. “I’m selfish. I want you by my side. Your presence and support… mean more to me than anything else. I want us to face the future together, no matter how tough the tides get. I want us to stand together, always.”
His confession was an admittance of his feelings, indicating the depth of their relationship. Despite his remark about being selfish, it was anything but that. His words were sincere, representing a pure soul who loved unconditionally. The promise was less of an assurance and more of a humble request stemming from intense love and admiration for her.
“What do you think?” Minhyuk asked, his voice heavy with anticipation, his eyes searching hers for an answer. He wanted to know her thoughts and feelings about this proposal and their future together.
“I think we’re going to have a beautiful future together,” she responded, her voice filled with a rare kind of certainty. A soft smile stretched across her face, her eyes twinkling with joy. She’d been waiting for him to voice these words for a long time.
“I cannot wait to find out,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. Minhyuk felt a surge of joy, a relief washing over him. He pulled her closer into an embrace, one that was light with promise and happiness. They cuddled together and held each other close, letting the silence encase them as they reveled in the promise of a future together.
Their story concluded on a hopeful note; the future was uncertain, but their feelings for each other were not. The promises they made and the love they shared overshadowed everything else. The true story was just beginning, a journey of two souls intertwined, bound by a promise of a lifetime.
#kvanity#monsta x imagines#monsta x x reader#minhyuk x reader#monsta x smut#monsta x fluff#minhyuk smut#minhyuk imagines#minhyuk imagine smut#minhyuk imagine angst#minhyuk angst#monsta x angst
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monsta x
reactions
how would monsta x cuddle
imagines
shownu
getting greys
wonho
you knew it
getting greys
minhyuk
getting greys
kihyun
forgive me (*M*)
getting greys
hyungwon
pleasuring (*M*)
wot
getting greys
jooheon
getting greys
bf! jooheon
i.m
daddy (*M*)
bf! i.m
i promise to call
getting greys
were doing this now?
single dad au
#monsta x#kpop#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#kpop fluff#kpop angst#kpop reacts#kpop reactions#monsta x imagines#monsta x scenarios#monsta x reacts#monsta x reactions#monsta x fluff#shownu#sohn hyunwoo#minhyuk#lee minhyuk#kihyun#yoo kihyun#hyungwon#chae hyungwon#joohoney#jooheon#lee jooheon#i.m#im changkyun#wonho#lee hoseok#shin hoseok
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QUICK STOP — MINHYUK
<3 You didn’t think Minhyuk was going to have a day off and not stop by and see you, did you?
THEMES ✰ Angst w/ glimpses of fluff. Reader and Minhyuk have a very confusing relationship.
NOTE ✰ Seeing Minhyuk literally made me feral…so I had to quickly write about how it made me feel, but me being so angsty it just took a turn.
9:00AM
“I have something to tell you. Don’t be mad at me.”
You take a deep breath, your mind already preparing for the worst to leave his lips. The facial expression he’s currently wearing isn’t angry though, or guilty, which is making everything even more confusing for you.
“Wait, I’m sorry.” His palm holds itself up to his screen; a signal for you to not freak out like you always do whenever he does anything unpredictable around you. “We talked about this.”
Your eyebrow raises in synchronization with the smile you can never keep hidden whenever he’s doing anything in your direction. Whether it be staring, speaking, breathing, whatever; you can’t help it.
“Mhm.” You encourage slyly.
He continues, “And I promised you I wouldn’t say ‘I have to tell you something’ without proceeding to immediately say what I have to tell you, because if not, it makes you, and I quote, ‘want to slam your head into a wall’. So I’m sorry.”
Your laughter escapes your throat so hard that it hurts a little. Minhyuk is cracking up just as hard as you, and it feels like as soon as one of you has caught your breath, the other snorts, and all progress goes to shit. Your phone is now on the floor even though you don’t know when it fell.
“When did you get that phone? Like in January?” Minhyuk wheezes. You find it difficult to recall the exact duration it takes for him to regain his composure because you are laughing more than he is now. “This is like the 200th time you’ve dropped it. Speaking of, have you taken that old ass screen protector off? It’s clearly been through enough.”
“How about you buy me one, since you got so much to say.” You scold as you hop off your bed to retrieve his virtual presence. The moment you step onto the floor, a sudden chill zaps through your body, causing your laughter to briefly freeze in mid-air. It's like the floor is playing a cruel prank on you, reminding you of its icy presence as a rude awakening to reality. If Minhyuk was here, he would have foreseen this frigid encounter and saved the day with his thoughtfulness.
He possesses an extraordinary talent for predicting where your tired, exposed feet would seek refuge in the morning. Your slippers would have been here. If only he were here in this chilly moment, you think, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
“Cold feet?” He teases, as always, knowing what you’re thinking without you having to say anything.
His smile is brighter than you've seen it in a long time as he gazes adoringly at you over the phone. You're curious what he's thinking and what he's been up to this week. He certainly has been eating well, which warms your heart because he was constantly anxious before enlisting, focusing on everything but himself. You've missed him in every way, but you can't bring yourself to tell him.
The saga of your relationship reads like a bestselling novel. It's a tale of tangled emotions and unspoken truths, a rollercoaster ride of passion and confusion. You both know there's something between you that defies any clear definition, something beyond the boundaries of conventional romance. A connection so intense that it keeps pulling you back together, no matter how hard you try to resist.
You're head over heels for him, and he claims to feel the same way. But there's always a lingering doubt, a whisper in the back of your mind questioning the authenticity of his words. Is this love or just a twisted game? Can two people who share such an undeniable chemistry remain in this perpetual state of limbo, reluctant to label their feelings?
You feel yourself drowning in his orbs. Those beautiful brown eyes of his that matches yours are your home. You often think to yourself though, who else has found refuge in his eyes when the two of you haven’t spoken in weeks?
“You have something to tell me?”
Did his phone freeze? His eyes are clearly on you, but he’s not responding.
“Minhyuk?” You chuckle with a pure expression of confusion resting on your features.
He appears to come out of a trance you weren't aware he was in, blinking repeatedly to test whether his unconscious heard what you said to him. "I apologize. What did you say?” He asks, embarrassedly touching the back of his neck. Was he blushing? "I'm looking at the most beautiful woman on the planet. I'm a little disoriented right now."
That was another thing that terrified you about your lover. Were you even allowed to call him that? No matter, he talked so damn good. He could sell you a beach house in Idaho if you wanted to. Regardless of the confusion between the two of you, you trusted him wholeheartedly. Your concerns and uncertainties were cut away by his smooth tongue like a bullet made of gold, leaving you captivated by his alluring charisma. He had an answer for every ask, a fix for every issue, and a promise for every aspiration.
“I’m off tomorrow.”
You immediately beam, hoping he's telling you this because he's going to spend the entire day with you doing everything you enjoy. You may make him his favorite depending on when he arrives, but if he arrives too early, the two of you can find somewhere to sneak off to, right? You can also order takeout. Sure, take out—
Mingyuk took a photo
“I’m sorry.” He apologies, his naughty tone showing that he is indeed not sorry at all. “You just looked so cute smiling at me like that. I’ll send it to you.”
Before you can even start scolding him for snapping terrible pictures of you, you remember the second part of what he started this entire conversation with.
Don’t be mad at me.
“Why would I be mad at you for having a day off?”
“Because…I’m not going to be able to see you.”
Confusion always has to be present, right? You can't possibly be angry. If you told this story to anyone else, they'd advise you to be grateful that he cares enough about your sentiments to tell you what he's doing. It didn't make the pain go away, either. You can't help but wonder if he would come see you if you were his girlfriend.
“Don’t do that, baby. It’s not like that.” He assures. “The concert is tomorrow, and I really want to see you, but I haven’t seen them in forever. If they weren’t performing I could split the time, but it’s been a while since I’ve been with Monbebes and the boys. I hope you understand.”
What we’re you going to say? No Minhyuk, don’t go and support the people who have had your back since before we even met. Spend time with me instead, the person who you haven’t seen in months, isn’t your girlfriend, and probably never will be? You damn sure wanted to, but you can’t.
If he were here right now, he'd be softly rubbing your back, looking for traces of rage or hurt in your eyes. He despised inflicting pain on you. He'd press his lips to yours, expecting you not to kiss him back but hoping you would. Of course, you'd never be so unhappy with him that you'd refuse him his treasured kisses.
"Thank you, babygirl. You’re so understanding." He always replies to your devotion, planting a sensual kiss to the side of your head before peppering kisses on your neck.
You put on a brave face. He knows it's a ruse, and you know it, but you're not feeling charitable enough right now to fake it to the point where he believes you're actually happy with it.
“It’s cool, shawty.” Is all you can muster in the moment.
What was once a vibrant phone call full with delightful laughing and admiration has suddenly turned cold—or so the aura feels for you. You haven't found the words to bring the vibe from earlier back, and you know him; he wants to move on from this subject now, but based on previous arguments, he doesn't want you to think he doesn't care about your feelings, because he does.
You haven't talked to him in a long time, so moping about it is worthless. Breaking the silence was in his best interest, and regrettably, satisfying him meant more to you than it should have given how un-defined the two of you are.
“You wanna hear about my week?”
His smile glows through your phone once more, exactly like it did when you answered it the first time. You can tell he's sighing with relief. He's not sure if you want to keep talking to avoid feeling guilty, or if it's sincere, but he doesn't care. You're well aware of it. He always says to you, “I just want us to be okay. Always.”
“Now you know I didn’t call just to talk about me. Tell me everything, and don’t leave anything out.”
8:00PM
Despite how childish it seems, you promised yourself that you wouldn't check Twitter today. Of course you failed. All day, your timeline has been filled with Minhyuk looking so damn good. You two stayed on FaceTime for hours yesterday, giving you plenty of opportunity to admire his unrivaled attributes, yet a phone conversation doesn't do him justice, and neither does a photograph. You wanted him right now.
His white sweater suited his tan skin beautifully, and you were drawn to the way his muscles, which you had no idea had expanded so much, were attempting to escape from it. He’s the only man that has to ability to make you quiver at a simple photo of him.
Had he been here, instead of there, the second he walked through your door you wouldn’t have hesitated to rip it off. He wouldn’t have questioned you for a moment, missing you just as much as you’ve missed him. The two of you would have made love all over the house, probably until the morning time, and it would fill the gap inside you from not being able to call him yours—temporarily of course.
With Minhyuk absent, the empty house lies before you, beckoning you to decide how you will occupy yourself in his absence. Now is the time to contemplate and plan your activities, to explore the rooms and corners, and to find solace or adventure within the walls that surround you.
But you'd rather sit on your couch and do nothing, which is the exact opposite of what Minhyuk would like. He used to make fun of you for lazing around the house all day.
You have no recollection of falling asleep. After an hour or two of scrolling through Tiktok, your vision went fuzzy, and your grasp on your phone became increasingly shaky before dropping to the floor, much like it did on the phone with him the day before.
12:00AM
He hasn't been here in what seems like an eternity. Despite the recent distance between you two, his heart feels warm as he looks at the wreath packed with red tulips that is still hanging on your door. He remembers it as if it were yesterday—you couldn't believe him when he said it was what he wanted you two to make one for anniversary of you two meeting, because you never believed that you genuinely mean something to him.
He types in your passcode, stepping into your cozy apartment. Instinctively he inhales the brisk air that smells of lavendar and another scent that he can’t quite put his finger on.
As he looks around your place, he giggles to himself in adoration. “This girl…she really thought I wasn’t coming.”
Minhyuk hasn't even begun looking for you yet. He figures you're in your room, knocked out cold, because he doesn't hear feet dashing into your closet, nor did you try to come out with a lousy excuse for a weapon—yet another thing he chastised you for on a daily basis. He confidently strides into your kitchen, his eyes scanning the room, immediately recognizing the disarray that has become all too familiar to him. He knows, without a doubt, that your seasonings need to be meticulously arranged in their designated spots, and there are a few dishes lingering in the sink, patiently waiting for attention.
It doesn’t take him long to tidy up in there. He walks further into your apartment, prepared to pick up your clothes he’s certain you stripped off earlier before you went to bed, that he hears your little snores. When he sees you, snuggled up to the soft, cozy blanket that he carefully picked out for you a few months ago, his heart practically leaps out of his chest. The sight of you wrapped in that warm embrace brings a flood of joy and contentment, knowing that he was able to provide you with comfort and happiness.
His knees, slightly bent, fall naturally to your side with a light thump as he quietly settles next to you. In this moment, he wrestles with a choice: should he wake you up, gently brushing his fingertips against your cheek to rouse you from slumber? Or should he carefully lift you up in his strong, comforting arms, carrying you to bed like a precious treasure? As he contemplates his decision, he can't help but smile at the thought of tomorrow, knowing he will capture the beauty of the present moment by snapping a photo of himself holding you tight in his chest, a symbol of love and protection. Then though, you’ll be upset that he didn’t wake you.
His hands move to your shoulder, gently shaking you. Not to his surprise, you don’t budge.
“Kisses it is, huh?”
His lips continue to press irritatingly wet kisses all over your face, causing your nose to wrinkle up and your eyes to clench up like an irritated teenager. You try to turn the other direction, but he holds you down and prevents you from moving. Minhyuk is relieved that it's him in here with you and not some stranger, because your survival abilities are pitiful.
“Y/N.” He says sternly, although his smile is as radiant as it always is when he’s looking at you.
Your eyes begin to flutter open unexpectedly. You're not sure whether to yell, cry, or both. Your eyesight isn't the best, but even in your waking disorientation, do you realize who's standing in front of you?
“Minhyuk?” Your voice is raspy and filled with utter confusion. “What are you doing here? What the fuc—
His kisses you instantly, and whatever the feeling is called when you feel like your body is exploding with every emotion at once, that’s how you feel. You want more, and you attempt to pull him on top of you, but he stays put. You whine into his mouth, causing him to chuckle at you before pulling away.
“Don’t do this to me right now.” You protest.
Minhyuk takes a deep breath. The kind he takes when he‘s in the midst of making a choice that’s for the greater good, but not exactly what he wants to do.
“I want to do that. So bad.” He begins. He adjusts his collar that you just a minute ago had a very seductive grip on, and when he touches it he swears he’s right back into that moment with you. “And we will, but I haven’t seen you in two months and I don’t have long. Isn’t it wrong for that to be the first thing we do?”
“If I wasn’t crazy, I would say you actually care about me.” You laugh, absolutely and thoroughly in love with the man in front of you right now. This is the man who has captured your heart. This is the person who knows just what to say and when to say it. His eyes are sparkling as they take you whole, swallowing any resentment you felt toward him when you thought he wouldn't stop by. You can’t help but to leap into his arms, squeezing tight as you still haven’t processed how real this moment is.
He laughs as well, but his tone his somber as well as his smile. “Why do you always say that?” He questions. “That I don’t care?”
Maybe this is the reason why you aren’t his girlfriend. All you ever did was question him and his feelings for you. Minhyuk always said to you that one of his favorite things about you is how outspoken you are. How you’re never afraid to say how you feel, or how other peoples actions make you feel. But in this moment, and every other doubting moment the two of you have shared does it feel like all you do is fuck things up even worse.
He’s looking at you, but you’re now looking through him. Minhyuk didn’t mean to send you inside your head, feeling embarrassed for saying what’s on your mind. He really just wants to understand.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—I was just making a little joke.” You attempt to cover.
“No you weren’t. And that’s okay. I just want to know why you always say that.”
You two couldn’t be about to argue after not seeing eachother in two months, right?
You don’t want to say the wrong thing, but you know you have to say something. His eyes are becoming impatient with you. You know he’s wondering why say such a thing if you can’t tell me why you said it when asked.
“I don’t want to fight.” Is all you can muster, shooting your eyes to ceiling. Let it go, Minhyuk. Is all you can think to yourself. The tension is getting thick, practically suffocating you. You just want to have a beautiful night with him. You want him to make love to you, and you want to fall asleep in his arms. You want to wake up before him, watching him sleep soundly before getting up to make his favorite breakfast. You want to tell him how much you love him. Not this.
“Tired of doing that.”
So, he really wants to do this?
“What are we, Minhyuk?”
Now he’s the one unable to find the words.
He pretends to contemplate. You know it’s insincere, because he looks to the left of him while he thinks instead of the right—a tell sign of him pretending to do something. He often did this when he was trying to surprise you with a date, claiming the two of you were going one place, when in reality he was taking you to some expensive restaurant.
“I love you.” He says confidently. You don’t know why you were waiting for him to say more. You want to laugh out loud, but you can’t, because the laugh will turn into a pitiful cry.
“That’s it?”
“No. I just—we talked about this, baby. I love you, and you love me, and we’re figuring this out. You’ve been through a lot with love and so have I. I just wanna enjoy this, because this,” he places his thumb to your cheek, rubbing it softly before continuing, “this is a beautiful thing that I don’t ever want to ruin. Do you understand?”
You nod helplessly. He knows that anytime his hands are anywhere on you, that his word is law. Being embarrassed about how delusional you are when it comes to his confusing analogies wasn’t going to make you come to your senses. You can’t help how much you love him. He makes you feel; something you never thought you’d do again. And you like it—no, you absolutely love it. It’s better than being numb and emotionless.
“I love you.” He repeats, moving his lips to your neck now. “And I want you in my life forever. I’m yours. We don’t need a label for that. Let’s just be.”
“Let’s just be.” You repeat, giving him more access and moving his hands to your chest, letting him to love you anyway he wants.
Minhyuk is on top of you now, and as he attempts to continue with your night, his phone begins to vibrate in his pocket.
“Just ignore it.” He breathes out, taking his phone of out of his pocket and throwing it behind the couch.
It’s his world, so you do as he says.
1:00AM
#minhyuk#monsta x imagines#minhyuk imagines#kpop black reader#minhyuk angst#minhyuk fluff#monsta x angst#kpop x poc#kpop x black reader
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Masterlist
| MONSTA X |
Mafia-verse (rated m)
| Trailer | Character profiles |
The streets of Seoul had to be well lit at night, so the shadows cast could be rampant with secrets.
They were everywhere. They saw everything, heard everything. Yet the threat that was looming could not be fathomed - Someone was out for blood. Someone darker than the nights they conquered, someone with more secrets than those that tied them together....
Changkyun: I Am What I Am
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | .....
Hyungwon: I Don’t Need Nobody Else (coming soon)
Kihyun: I’m Gonna Lose It (coming soon)
Minhyuk: I'll See You in Your Love (coming soon)
Jooheon: I’m Lost And I Wanna Be Found (coming soon)
Shownu: Love me a little (coming soon)
The End: I Can’t Help But Love You (coming soon)
| SEVENTEEN |
Choi Seungcheol- The Legend of the Sea | Epilogue |
"You're crying? You must be turning Human, the Merfolk don't cry"
"Of course we do. Why do you think the Sea is nothing but salt?"
| Yoon Jeonghan | Hong Jisoo | Wen Junhui | Kwon Soonyoung | Jeon Wonwoo | Lee Jihoon | Xu Minghao | Lee Seokmin | Kim Mingyu | Boo Seungkwan | Chwe Hansol | Lee Chan |
Scenarios
Where you belong (3k)
Fiancé! Seungcheol × reader, Fiancé! Jeonghan x reader
One who showed everyone who you belonged to, one who showed you that you couldn't possibly belong to anyone else.
Where you return (7k)
Model! reader × Racer! Mingyu, Model! reader x Pilot! Wonwoo
One who you fell in love with, one who fell in love with you.
Where you're convenient pt 1 (6.5k) | pt 2 (11k) | pt 3 (coming soon)
Husband! Jisoo × reader, Husband! Seokmin × reader, Husband! Jihoon x reader
One who you married because of a mutual deal, one who you married because of an accident and one who you married because of a promise.
Imagines
Christmas with Seventeen
#monsta x#monsta x fic#monsta x smut#monsta x imagines#monsta x scenarios#monsta x angst#monsta x series#monsta x shownu#shownu smut#monsta x minhyuk#minhyuk smut#monsta x kihyun#kihyun smut#monsta x hyungwon#hyungwon smut#monsta x jooheon#jooheon smut#monsta x changkyun#changkyun smut
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MONSTA X
[Changkyun] : you should’ve known by this time
genre: fluff
[Changkyun] : I want to fall deeper in your love, Changkyun
genre: fluff
#Monsta X#monsta x imagines#monsta x fluff#shownu#minhyuk#kihyun#hyungwon#joohoney#jooheon#im#i.m#changkyun#kpop#monbebe#fluff#angst#one shot#monsta x one shot
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please note that I am no longer actively writing for monsta x and that by putting this groups in the 'archive' does not necessarily mean I will stop writing for them entirely. Any series originally planned for any members in the archive have either been put in the vault or recasted.
🔞 many of these works contain sexual content (18+ mdni) 🔞
♤ — angst :: ♡ — fluff :: ♧ — smut
✍ — ongoing :: ⊝ — hiatus :: ⊗ — discontinued :: ✓ — completed
— drabbles
»» Drunken Confessions ♡ s. hyunwoo
➥ 891; after her roommate, Hyunwoo, calls her drunk from the bar, Y/N goes to pick him up and bring him home only to realize she has to babysit him before he falls asleep.
»» Don't Listen to Them ♡ l. minhyuk
➥ 577; when Y/N visit her boyfriend and realize he's down in the dumps over what some so called fans have been saying about his newest piece of ink, she decides to tell him that she doesn't think that way and how much she loves all of him, including his tattoos.
»» Stay ♡ y. kihyun
➥ 694; Y/N has hidden Kihyun's pants in hopes of making him stay at her place instead of leaving for practice like he's supposed to.
»» the Interview ♡ l. jooheon
➥ 1.3k; Jooheon is just ready to get this interview over with so the group can finally get some food and rest, until his eyes land on the person conducting the interview… Y/N.
»» My Girl ♡ i. changkyun
➥ 698; Changkyun sticks up for his S/O when he overhears some stylists mocking their Korean speaking capability.
»» Rainy Days ♡ i. changkyun
➥ 786; when her plans with Changkyun go awry due to a thunderstorm, he shows Y/N that a day spent inside is just as good as a day spent outside.
— oneshots
»» Anniversary Gift ♧ s. hyunwoo
➥ 7.1k ; Y/N's boyfriend Hyunwoo takes her on a trip for their anniversary ― to a private island just south of Jeju.
»» Makeup Sex ♧ l. jooheon
➥ 4.3k; Jooheon has been ignoring Y/N recently and she finds herself missing him more than usual.
»» Give it a Chance ♧ i. changkyun
➥ 8.2k; after weeks of flirting with her, the infamous 'fuckboy' that has been invading Y/N's workspace has a chance to sweep her off her feet at another bar and after seeing him in a new light, she's tempted to let him.
»» Time for a Change ♧ i. changkyun
➥ 2k; Changkyun is known on campus as being a huge flirt and a bit of a fuckboy. Little does he know, his next target, Y/N is not the sweet and innocent girl everyone paints her as. After hooking up with her on several occasions, Changkyun realizes he has feelings for her but does she return the sentiment?
»» Jealousy ♤♧ i. changkyun
➥ 5k; Changkyun is Y/N's best friend and she notice how distant he’s become since she befriended the rest of his members, especially his hyung, Kihyun.
— miniseries
»» the Bet: 01 | 02 | 03 ♧ ⊝ s.hyunwoo
➥ --; after learning the man she thought loved her only started seeing her as the result of a bet with his friends, Y/N's life is put in jeopardy when his boss, and her father’s rival, learns about the relationship.
— series
»» Give it to You ♧✓ ot7
➥ 25k; after making a secret pact, Y/N is tasked with bringing seven souls to her boss in exchange for her freedom. will she be able to follow through and end their lives or will she disobey her orders and pay with her life?
╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴
wonho
— oneshots
»» Personal Trainer ♧
➥ oneshot; 7.6k; when her best friend begs her to go to the gym with her, Y/N is convinced she's trying to set her up with her personal trainer and after seeing him, Y/N might just be okay with that.
»» Dancing in the Dark ♧
➥ oneshot; 5.5k; it's always been just friends between Y/N and Hoseok but for Y/N, she's always wanted more. After watching her performance during a dance competition, Hoseok realizes that maybe he wants more as well…
»» Secrets ♤
➥ oneshot hybrid; 7.5k; after ending a secret 2 year relationship with Hoseok, Y/N realizes how much she really loved him and just maybe, he feels the same?
»» Noisy Neighbor ♧
➥ 6.3k; Y/N loves everything about her apartment － except her annoying and loud neighbor, Hoseok.
— drabbles
»» Lab Partners ♧
➥ drabble; 576; Y/N gets up to some shenanigans when she's supposed to be finishing a project with her lab partner, Hoseok.
ⓘ DISCLAIMER :: MONSTER/ALIEN FUCKER ENTHUSIAST ⓘ
©️ kwanisms 2024 | all works on this blog are protected under copyright. Do not repost, continue, or translate my works. All graphics made by me. Content and support banners made by me using cafekitsune's template.
#monsta x scenarios#monsta x imagines#monsta x fanfiction#monsta x fanfic#monsta x angst#monsta x fluff#monsta x smut#monsta x x reader#shownu x reader#minhyuk x reader#kihyun x reader#hyungwon x reader#jooheon x reader#changkyun x reader#monsta x masterlist
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In Case You Didn’t Know (M)
Pairing: Lee Chan x Fem!Reader
Summary: Chan has always been just one of your step-brother’s best friends. He’s also been in love with you for as long as everyone remembers, but you never paid him much mind - that is until you decide to return home after many years away and you see the man he’s become. He goes from being your little brother’s best friend to being the perfect man for you in a matter of months. Now the questions are who wants who more and will either of you do anything about your feelings?
Genres: Fluff, romance, smut, a little angst | AUs: Brother’s best friend au, roommates au, 90s au
Rating: 18+(MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED) | Words: 28.8k 🥴
Warnings: Profanity, alcohol use, will-they-won’t-they tension, a scene of reader x Lee Minhyuk (suggestive) and reader x Joshua (romantic) | Smut Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering (f.receiving), oral (f.receiving), thigh riding, praise, dirty talk, pet names (baby, babygirl, good boy), service top!Chan
Note: Written for the Now That’s 90s collab hosted by @beomcoups & @mingsolo ! I wanted to get this out for Christmas but my brain had other plans. I wanted to invoke a kind of cheesy Christmas romance movie feel to this while still keeping it 90s so that’s the vibe we’re going for!
Thank you to the always amazing @wongyuseokie for the lovely banner 💙 And thank you @wooahaeproductions for beta reading my word vomit and helping me come up with this title! I love and appreciate you very much my beta/fic title queen! 💖
Also, I want to give giant sappy thank yous, hugs, and kisses to Bee, @horanghater, @onlymingyus, and @the-boy-meets-evil for all giving me pep talks and offering support throughout the process of this fic coming to exist. It’s my longest fic ever and I wanted to start over so many more times than I did so I appreciate and love y’all v much!! 🥹💞🫶🏽
“Miss? We’re here,” The taxi driver's voice wakes you, bleary eyes focusing on the apartment building outside the car window. You hadn’t been sleeping that long, but it was long enough to make you tired after your fifteen-hour flight to Seoul. That, coupled with the heat of the taxi made you cozy enough to nap, but you’re finally looking forward to being out of a moving vehicle.
As the taxi driver unloads your suitcases from the trunk, you step out into the cold September air, and triple-check the address of the apartment building, comparing the number on the building in front of you to what’s written in your planner in hand. You had verified the address with your step-brother each time the two of you spoke on the phone leading up to your flight to Korea.
When you originally told Hansol that you decided that you were ready to quit your flight attendant career and move back home, your original plan was to move back in with your parents. Going into it, you knew well enough that the move would be annoying. You loved your mom and stepdad, but your mom was a bit of a helicopter mom growing up, so you can only imagine what living under her roof again would be like.
Luckily, you and your brother have always gotten along and been close, so instead of subjecting you to moving back home, he offered to let you move in with him and his roommate. Their third roommate was planning on moving out to live with his partner, so his room would be open for the taking.
“It’d be so much easier than putting an ad in the paper or online and interviewing strangers. You and Chan are cool right?” Hansol had asked, referring to his other roommate. Lee Chan was one of his best friends since you all were kids. Other than his very loud and very obvious crush on you, you had no problem with Chan and gladly accepted the room offer.
After you and your brother made a plan for you to move in, you contacted your oldest and closest friend who had offered you job opportunities before, citing if you ever wanted to move back to South Korea, she would do her damndest to get you something. Needless to say, she was thrilled to hear your voice when you finally called and broke the news.
The planning to get here seemed like it took forever, but now that you’re back with your feet on Seoul soil, you were happy. The journey of closing this chapter of your life was wrapping up. Now you will have a chance at doing something different for the next part of your life.
With both full-to-the-brim suitcases in hand, you roll them behind you into the building and to the elevator. The ride to the third floor is short and the walk to your brother’s apartment is even shorter.
Just as he had instructed, you lift the welcome mat to find a key waiting for you and use it to let yourself in.
“Han?” You call your brother’s name once inside but don’t get a response. You can hear water running down the hall and see shoes by the door so he’s obviously home.
Your eyes sweep over the living room as you take off your coat and boots. You’re surprised at just how clean the apartment is with two men in their mid-twenties living in it. The couch is a simple black fabric three-seater with a matching chair off to the side. A brown wood coffee table sits in front of both with a few magazines and two remotes on it. Presumably, for the TV and VCR sitting across the room from the seating.
You had half expected to see clothes and movies strewn across the floor and furniture, but there’s none of that in sight.
After hanging your coat on the rack by the door and leaving your boots with the other pair, you leave your suitcases in the foyer and start down the hallway, heading for what you assume is the bathroom. You’re not sure which room is Hansol’s, but he mentioned that he’d be home when you got in, so you plan on poking your head into each door until you find the one that so obviously screams Chwe Hansol.
The water cuts off in the bathroom as your socked feet pad across the carpet and you make a pitstop at the bathroom, figuring you’ll just meet your brother there instead.
“Hansol?” You raise a hand to knock on the door at the same time that it swings open. It is most certainly not your brother on the other side.
Out of the bathroom, clad in only a fluffy white towel slung low on his hips, steps your brother’s roommate and best friend Lee Chan.
The same Lee Chan that you’ve known since he was in grade school when his hair was spiked, his eyes were too far apart and his head was too big for his body. The same one that’s been hopelessly in love with you since he and his family moved in next door to you and Hansol when he was ten. You of course have had to turn him down all of your life. Other than the fact that he’s a few years younger than you, he was always just your brother’s awkward but sweet best friend. You remember exactly how he looked and how he acted - like a kid.
This Lee Chan though is different. This Lee Chan very clearly works out. His arms are muscular and buff. He has defined pecs and abs that are still covered in flecks of water that are dripping down his built body. Dripping down to the light dusting of hair leading from his belly button and underneath the towel.
This Lee Chan has a strong jaw, pouty lips, and dark hair that hangs in his eyes. This Lee Chan is one of the finest men you’ve ever seen in your life - and a man he most certainly is. Your eyes unabashedly sweep over his mouth-watering frame until you meet his brown eyes and you remember instantly that this is still the Lee Chan that you should absolutely not be looking at like this.
“Oh! Y/n!” His voice is much deeper than you remember and it sits heavy in the pit of your stomach.
“Chan! Sorry, I thought you were Hansol! He said he’d be home when I got in.” You clear your throat, trying to get a grip on yourself.
“Oh yeah, he got called into work at the last minute. He left you a note on the fridge.”
“Oh, okay.”
The two of you stand there for a moment, neither of you speaking.
“Well uh, let me get dressed and then I can give you a tour of the apartment and your room. I’m heading out soon to meet up with some friends, but I have time.”
“Only if you want to! I don't want to hold you up!”
“You won’t, promise! Just give me a few minutes.”
Chan flashes you a smile that fills up his whole face and you can’t help but notice how handsome he looks.
You nod and scurry to the opposite side of the hallway, realizing that you’re still trapping him in the doorway of the bathroom. You watch him walk into what you can only assume is his room and go back into the living room, waiting for him on the couch.
You’re thankful for him needing to take a few minutes because you need some time yourself as well. The fact that this man is the same boy that you grew up alongside is a lot to wrap your head around.
The two of you have always gotten along. He was a sweet kid even though all he did was follow you around at any moment he could. He was funny and probably one of Hansol’s most respectful friends which you appreciate, given that his friend group was all just a bunch of rowdy boys, but you’ve never thought about him like that in all the time that you knew him.
Over the years, there have been a few times where you’d see him in pictures your mom would email or mail to you whenever you were somewhere for a long period of time. The last time you’d come home for the holidays was three years ago and you saw Chan briefly, but from what you recall, he just looked like some guy to you when you had seen him. He did not look like this then and he certainly hadn’t been this good-looking growing up or maybe you would have entertained something with him.
That thought is only fleeting and you have to calm your heart (and your pussy) from reacting to seeing him like this. He’s still your little brother’s best friend and he’s now your roommate, and in no way can anything happen. That is messy on so many levels.
This sudden onslaught of want has to be because you’re just that desperate for a romantic connection with someone. Or you just need to get laid. Trying to maintain any semblance of a relationship in your line of work proved to be harder than you’d think.
For the past almost 10 years of working in the sky, you’ve had your fair share of hookups here and there. Your last was a fun, albeit messy, fling with a new pilot you were often on the same flights with named Kevin. He was handsome and funny and easy to get along with, but that didn’t end well, seeing how he got right to work hooking up with all the other flight attendants on his flights. You weren’t sure if commitment in the form of officially being boyfriend and girlfriend was what you wanted with him, but you had gone out of your way to make sure you weren’t sleeping around or seeing other people when the two of you got together. He didn’t agree with that.
Before Kevin, there was another flight attendant you were often on the same flights as. Krystal was sweet and the two of you had grown close, but she wanted to keep your relationship a secret from everyone all of the time. You had known going into it that you were still in a time where people were weird about queer people, but you also didn’t care that much. She did though, and ended up calling it off mostly due to paranoia.
Then there was the wealthy businessman, Jacob. He was an amazing guy and an even more amazing lay, but he wanted you to quit your job and move to Canada with him. This was a bit earlier in your career so you were nowhere near ready to abandon it all. He didn’t like that and would get into huge fights with you about it until you finally broke it off.
There were other tries and fails, but the moral of the story is that dating was damn near impossible for you for most of your adult life. Now that you’re planning on finally settling somewhere, you need to get back onto the dating scene and stop lusting over someone you should not be drooling over.
Chan comes out of his room then, dressed and hair styled. He’s clad in denim jeans and a white, long-sleeved shirt and somehow your eyes still sweep over him as if he’s still standing in front of you in a towel.
He doesn’t seem to notice your ogling since he simply flashes you a wide smile and beckons you to follow him into the next room.
“So, the apartment isn’t anything too fancy. We’ve got the kitchen around the corner here; if you go through that door, that’s the balcony. There’s a couple of chairs and a drying rack out there - nothing very interesting.” He points around the simple kitchen, gesturing to the sliding door next to the fridge leading to the balcony. Chan walks in front of you again to lead you back out into the living room and you can’t help but catch a whiff of his cologne. The warm, woodsy scent makes you groan internally, and yet again, you need to check yourself.
He gestures to the living room, mentioning the entertainment center and their VHS collection. He mentions that your brother made a space for you under the sink in the bathroom for you to put some of your things. Chan points out the small closet next to the bathroom where they keep extra towels and linens and the washing machine which sits in a small nook next to that closet.
The room directly across from the bathroom belongs to Hansol, and when looking inside you see that’s obvious. Posters line the walls and CDs and books are piled on the dark wood desk in the corner. Clothes are strewn about on the floor along with a few pairs of sneakers. Since the rest of the apartment is cleaned up, clearly Hansol reserves the mess for his own space.
The second room next to Hansol’s is Chan’s. He lets you poke your head in and you’re surprised at how neat it is, much like the main area of the apartment. It’s safe to assume that Chan must be in charge of keeping things neat or at least keeping your notoriously messy brother in line.
The last room at the end of the hall is yours. It previously belonged to Seungkwan, another one of Hansol’s best friends and their former roommate. It’s clean and neat, with a desk against the wall on one side and a made-up bed on the other. A dresser sits near the closet next to a full-length mirror. Otherwise, there’s not much else in it.
“Oh! Let me grab your bags! I should’ve offered.” Chan ignores your protest telling him not to worry about it and goes to get your suitcases anyway.
He wheels them down the hall and into your room as you grab your backpack and purse and follow behind him.
“Thanks, Chan.” He leaves your luggage by the door and smiles at you again.
“No worries, Y/n,” Chan checks his watch before announcing that he’s about to leave. “ If you need anything, Hansol should be back later this afternoon and I know he keeps the number to his work line on the fridge. I’ll probably be home in the evening, but otherwise, the apartment is yours since you live here now.” Chan waves at you as he leaves your room and you take a seat on the chair in front of the desk, listening as he collects his things and shouts another goodbye, closing, and locking the front door behind him.
The apartment is quiet when it’s just you and the temptation to sprawl out onto the bed and take a nap is so real, but instead, you force yourself up and out into the living room. You know that you should call your mom and let her know you’ve landed, but you also know she’ll talk your ear off if she answers, and you’re not really in the mood for that.
Instead, you pick up the phone on the side table and call your childhood best friend Jinah, intending to coordinate a time to meet and catch up. When she doesn’t answer you leave a message, letting her know this phone number and that you’ve made it to Seoul. There are a few other friends you need to connect with, but that can wait until later.
For now, you decide that a hot shower is calling you. Admittedly, it takes a few minutes for you to figure out how the shower works, but when you do, you’re more than thankful for the opportunity to clear your head and finally relax. You’ve been frazzled and stressed for months leading up to quitting your career and moving back home, but now that it’s done and you’re here, you feel as though you get a little bit of breathing room.
You still have the matter of getting a new job, which Jinah will be helping you with, and eventually, you need to figure out where you’ll move after you’re back on your feet since you don’t plan on making staying with your brother permanent, but for now, the biggest hurdle of moving back across the globe has been crossed.
After your shower, you make note of how your stomach growls, but decide to get a little unpacking done first. You already know that if you don’t at least start, your suitcases may sit in this room for days until you have the willpower to put things away. After digging your discman out of your backpack, you pop in an Aaliyah CD and get to work.
You only get as far as folding your underwear and bras and putting those in the dresser before you’re stretching out on the bed and telling yourself you’ll only close your eyes for a moment before resuming.
Your head feels groggy when you open your eyes, sit up, and take in your surroundings. For a moment, you forget where you are, until you remember you’re in your new room in Seoul. Sun shines through the curtains covering your window and you spot your discman on the nightstand next to your head.
When you poke your head out of your room, you can hear soft sounds from the TV in the living room, but before you investigate, you take a detour to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
“Look who’s returned to the land of the living!” Hansol greets you when you finally make your way into the living room. He’s lounging on the couch, watching a variety show, but quickly gets up to pull you into a hug.
“Hey, Sol. What time is it?”
“Ten.”
“In the morning?!” You blink at the window with the curtains drawn open, frowning at the sunlight coming into the room. “I got in at noon yesterday!”
Hansol chuckles as you plop onto the couch next to him. “Yep. I tried to wake you when I got home yesterday, but you just grumbled at me and turned back over. I put your discman on the nightstand so you wouldn’t knock it off or anything so you’re welcome.”
“Damn, guess I was just that tired.”
“Yeah, Chan tried to get you up too, but you didn’t budge. He brought dinner home but not even food could get you up.” Hansol laughs, thankfully not noticing the way his words fluster you. The thought of Chan seeing you sprawled out on your bed, mouth likely open as you slept is embarrassing. You quickly have to remind yourself that he is your roommate so he’s bound to see you sleeping and to get over it.
“That explains why it feels like there’s a gaping hole in the pit of my stomach.”
“Don’t worry, there’s leftover pizza in the fridge for you. And I’m sure there’s some other stuff to tide you over until later.”
“Where’s Chan now?”
“Work. Same place I’m about to go. It’s my turn for dinner tonight so I’ll bring chicken home with me.”
“Ugh, I haven’t had good fried chicken since I was in the States and we landed in Atlanta, Georgia for a while.”
“I got you. There’s a really good place not far from the apartment.”
“You’re the best, Sol.”
“I know,” your brother boasts, getting off the couch to stretch.
“Oh! Mom called last night for you. She’s pissed you didn’t call her when you got here.”
Letting out a groan, you roll your eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure. I just didn’t have it in me to listen to her tell me a story that I’ve probably already heard ten times. I’ll call her later after I finish unpacking. I already know she’s gonna want me to come over.”
“Oh, she does. She wants us both over tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?! She didn’t even ask if that works!”
“She didn’t, but that’s because she knows I’m off work tomorrow and in her words, ‘it’s not like your sister has any obligations yet, so you can come over close to lunch.’”
Hansol’s recounting of your mom’s words forces another eye roll out of you, but you’ll both be there and you already know it.
“I’m running to the bathroom then I’ll get ready to head out. Here, have fun.” He hands you the TV remote before disappearing into the bathroom.
Before you can get comfortable, you pull your tired body from the couch to grab leftovers and eat before your mom calls again, inevitably nagging you about not calling her earlier.
As expected when you settle back down to call, your mom picks up the phone on the first ring and spends the next ten minutes chastising you for not calling her when you landed. You apologize multiple times, assuring her that both you and Hansol will visit her tomorrow.
Also as expected she talks your ear off for about twenty minutes, giving you updates that you know she’ll tell you about again tomorrow. Thankfully, the mailman shows up in the middle of another story about the neighbor she’s been having a holiday decoration war with for the last three years in a row so she lets you go, saying she’s happy to see you tomorrow.
Jinah is next on your call list and she also picks up after a few rings, cheering as soon as she hears your voice, celebrating your arrival in Seoul.
“I’m so happy we’re in the same timezone again!”
“Me too. I don’t even remember the last time we got to sit and chat.”
“I want to say it was when we were both in Spain last year. You had that day-long layover and I was out there for Fashion Week.”
“Oh, you’re right! You met that guy at that mall we went to.”
“Mmm, Ricky! He was so sweet. He still calls me sometimes. I don’t always answer, but he tries.” Jinah giggles, no doubt at some memory of her and the model she easily picked up that day.
She shifts around on the other line. “Oh damn, as much as I want to catch up with you babe, I’m about to head out for a meeting. Can we meet up tomorrow?”
“Yeah, if you can do it late in the afternoon? My mom wants me and Hansol to come over tomorrow. She already chewed my head off for not calling her when I got in.”
“Oh, Mrs. Chwe. Well, after you’re done with family time, let’s meet up! There’s a new bakery that opened in Hongdae that I haven’t tried yet. We can go together since it’s not too far from your parents’ place.”
“Please! I am craving a croissant actually.” Jinah tells you the address which you quickly write down, agreeing to meet tomorrow afternoon.
With that call over, you decide to finally bite the bullet and finish unpacking your things so you can stop thinking about it. It doesn’t take very long, seeing how your whole life was packed away in two suitcases, a backpack, and a purse. You make a mental note to do some decoration shopping for your room once you have the funds and decide to reward yourself with TV time.
You didn’t get to catch up on many shows always being on the go, so you plan to spend your time now getting in the know and watching as many reruns as you can catch. Among other things, not being in the sky for 90% of your time will offer you the opportunity to take things much slower. You’re used to always either being on a plane, spending a few nights in hotels or short-term rental places, or rushing between all of these destinations, so you plan on doing the complete opposite with your new schedule now.
You’re stretched out on the couch, enjoying an episode of one of the new dramas everyone around you has mentioned when you fall asleep again, your eyelids unable to concentrate for long.
You don’t even realize you’ve fallen asleep until you feel yourself being slightly shaken, your eyes cracking open to see Chan staring down at you. When your eyes finally adjust you get a better look at him and note how handsome he looks in his leather jacket and beanie. Why is that even the first thing you thought?
“Hey, sleepyhead. We’re home and we have dinner.”
“Dinner?”
“Yeah, fried chicken!” You sit up, groggily rubbing your eyes and you see Hansol coming into the living room, bag in hand.
You step away to freshen up, fixing your hair and splashing some water on your face. Your brother and Chan have already set up the chicken and beer on the coffee table, taking their seats on the floor around the table as Hansol flips through TV channels.
Plopping on the floor across from Chan, Hansol pulls a can of soda out of the bag next to you, sliding it over your way. You eagerly open it, thanking him for remembering your lack of enthusiasm about drinking, and grab a piece of chicken.
“So, Y/n,” Chan starts, his full attention on you. “What brought you back to Seoul? When we talked about you moving in, Hansol told me you wanted to quit and move home, but I didn’t ask why.”
“I was just ready for something more stable, is all. Traveling the world is fun and I didn’t hate my job - I met a ton of new and interesting people - but at some point, I just got tired of never having a true place that is mine. I mean, I’ve been doing this since I was twenty. There are only so many hotels and rental places a person can do until they get tired of the constant movement.”
“That makes sense. When I went abroad during my first year of college I got super homesick so I ended up coming back. Some of our friends said I was lame for coming back, but I don’t know, I’ve always loved Korea you know? It’s where I grew up and I feel safe and secure here. I guess I just needed time away to decide what I wanted to do.”
You nod along, understanding what he means. You didn’t know too much about Chan after you graduated and left Korea, so it was nice to learn a little more about him.
“I get that, I mean we see I’m back now after all these years. Some people just gravitate back to where they came from.”
“Yeah, I was just surprised when Hansol mentioned you coming back. I remember you being so excited after graduation because you knew what you wanted to do already and I know you just wanted to see something else other than here.” Chan smiles at you gently. The fact that he remembers how you were feeling after graduation is sweet to you.
“I was excited and I don’t regret what I chose to do. It was fun but ended up not being my end-all-be-all, which is okay. But anyway, enough about me! Hansol told me that you own a dance studio?”
“Oh, yeah. I took over my dad’s dance studio. He’s still around, but I own it. We’re talking about expanding and making it an actual dance company. People from all over Korea come to the studio, so if we can find more spaces and good instructors we can open another here and even abroad.”
“That’s amazing, Chan! You always loved to dance. I’m glad you’re able to do it full-time.” The tips of Chan’s ears redden at your compliment and he takes a long swig of his beer.
“Thanks, Y/n.”
“Of course. I only hope that now that I’m back I can find the next thing that I want to do. My friend Jinah, I don’t know if you guys remember her, but she’s going to get me a job at the modeling agency she works at. It’ll probably just be something in the office until I find something else or figure out my next move.”
“Well, you’ve always been really smart and ambitious so I’m sure you’ll find something you’re good at now that you’re back.”
“Thank you, Chan.” You feel your face heat up at his words.
The two of you seem to share a moment where you both glance down at your food, then back up at each other every few minutes.
Hansol suddenly clears his throat as if reminding you both that he’s sitting right in between you.
“Things at my job are going well thanks for asking.”
You both snap out of whatever that moment was and recover by asking Hansol how he likes his new responsibilities, recalling the raise he got recently at work. Hansol’s worked for the same newspaper company for the past four years and you know he’s done his best to gain a good reputation at the company and that he works hard.
You do your best to avoid the questioning look he’s passing between the two of you and instead take a big bite of the chicken wing in front of you.
“It’s good. I write movie reviews now which is cool. I get to see a bunch of movies that come out before the general public for free. It’s much better than the random articles they had me working on before this promotion.”
“I’m proud of you, Sol.” You reach over to ruffle his hair with the hand not touching your food, ignoring the groan he lets out at the action. “Maybe one day you can bring your big sister to one of these early movie showings?”
“Tch, good luck. He won’t even bring me,” Chan mumbles, taking another sip of beer.
“I’m watching movies for work, thank you very much.” Hansol rolls his eyes at the way that Chan sticks his tongue out at him playfully. “Speaking of work, Y/n, make sure you let me know soon if Jinah can’t get you into her company. We have some openings that popped up recently and I’m sure I can get you in if you need it.”
“I will. We’re gonna hang out tomorrow after we see Mom and Dad and I’ll ask her more about it then.”
The three of you spend the rest of dinner watching TV and spend more time catching up. Hansol talks about some upcoming articles he has to work on, Chan goes over more plans for expanding his father’s dance studio, and the men both question you about all the places you’ve traveled to and everything you did as a flight attendant.
After dinner, you help clean up the trash before deciding to go to bed. Your internal clock is still readjusting to a semi-normal schedule, so you need at least a few more days before you can stay up later than 9 PM.
“Goodnight, guys,” You wave at the boys, heading down the hall into your room. You’ll take a shower in the morning - for now, you just want to rest.
Once you’re in your room, the door shut, Hansol eyes Chan as the man casts a few glimpses down the hall. He chuckles, getting his best friend’s attention.
“What?”
“Your crush is still showing, you know.”
Frowning, Chan looks between Hansol and the hallway before fixing his gaze on the TV.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Hansol scoffs at him but drops it. He knows Chan well enough to know when he’s lying through his teeth, but he won’t press it.
“Whatever you say, dude.” Hansol shrugs, announcing that he’s going to get ready for bed too. Chan stays in the living room, staring at the TV for a little while longer, but not taking in the show.
All he can think about is the fact that he is very much still into you and he’s never actually stopped. When Hansol brought up you moving in with them, he had no problem with it. You’re his best friend’s sister who needs help, of course, he wouldn’t say no. Chan figured that it would be nice to get to know you more as an adult since all of the knowledge he has of you is the person you were from middle school to high school and the things he hears Hansol or the Chwes say about what you are doing or where you are.
He knew it would be nice to catch up and spend time with you because you’ve always gotten along and you were always nice to him. He hadn’t expected his decade-old crush to creep back into his heart the moment he laid eyes on you, but it did. Chan doesn’t know what to do with these feelings so for now, he’ll squash them down the same way he has since he was ten. He’s more than used to it by now.
“My Y/n!”
It’s the first thing out of your mom’s mouth when she opens the front door, sweeping you up into a hug. She rocks you back and forth telling you how much she missed you.
“Wow, she never hugs me like that,” Hansol murmurs behind you as he steps inside and starts taking his shoes off.
“Oh, hush Sollie! I saw you two weeks ago. I haven’t seen your sister in two years!”
She does end up reaching over to pull Hansol into a hug of his own, once she decides you can breathe again. Your stepdad follows a minute after, hugging you for a much more normal amount of time, but also makes sure to let you know he’s personally offended that you haven’t been home in so long.
As anticipated, your mom has a full spread of food waiting on the table and ushers you and Hansol to sit and eat. Also as expected, she gives you the third degree, wanting to know about your work, your plans, and everything in between, which includes your nonexistent love life. You appease her and keep it short and simple: you’re hearing from Jinah soon about a position, you plan on doing that for at least the next year or two to save up enough money to move into a place of your own, and you’re single and have been for months.
This turns into an almost two-hour visit. If your parents aren’t asking you about your travels or asking Hansol about his job, they’re circling back to you and the fact that ‘now that you’re home and getting situated, you can think about eventually settling down. Since you’re almost thirty.’
You keep to yourself that you have had pretty lackluster luck when it comes to dating overall, but your mom still finds opportunities to sprinkle in that she could ask around to her friends about whose sons may be single, and you tell her you don’t need the help (even though you know she’ll likely do it anyway).
Eventually, you manage to get your parents to talk about themselves and get them to update you on things in the house they’re fixing up, how your dad is doing at work, and some new crochet projects your mom is working on.
Even though they can smother you at times, you know they both do what they do out of love - especially your mom. You did miss your parents at the end of the day and they mean well. They love you and Hansol and have missed you terribly - the latter a fact that your mom made sure to reiterate over and over again.
Before you leave, your mom repeats how happy she is that you’re back home, especially in time for the holidays, and truthfully, so are you. You love holidays because you love decorating and you love all of the themed things that come with holidays. Hansol mentions that he and Chan have never really worried about decorating their apartment, which you immediately informed him will change this year. You plan on decorating the apartment for Halloween and will turn it into a winter wonderland come November. Your brother knows you well enough not to argue and simply laughs, shrugging and telling you to go crazy.
After you finally manage to escape from your parents’ house, you and Hansol split up. He’s going to meet up with some friends and will meet you at home later, he says. You take a cab for the short ride to the coffee shop you and Jinah are meeting at and you notice you’ve arrived first when you don’t see anyone that resembles her.
You’ve only sat down for less than a minute when she sweeps into the shop with her long coat, big sunglasses, and beanie. She slips the sunglasses down her nose and peers around before meeting your eyes. A smile breaks out across her red-painted lips and she rushes over to you. She looks as pretty as she did growing up and it warms your heart. It makes complete sense that she’s such a prolific model now.
“Y/n!” She says your name when making it to the table and pulling you into a hug.
“Hey, Jinah! It’s so good to see you!”
“You too! It’s been too long and I hate it.” She pouts at you as she moves to her seat, shedding her coat, and hanging it on the back of her chair.
“I know, I know. But I’m here now.”
“You are and you’re gonna get sick of seeing me so much! Especially, if you get a spot at the company! I’m still waiting for my boss to get back to me about your resume.”
“Ugh, I hope it’s soon. I’m not picky about what’s open honestly, I just need something.”
“Well you know I’ll call you as soon as I get some info. I’m sure they’ll hire you. I’m noted as your referral and everyone loves me there!”
Before you dive into more chit chat, you pause the conversation, wanting to order coffee. Jinah takes your order and goes to the counter herself, quickly coming back with two hot cups of caffeine.
“Okay, so no more work talk. How is it living with a couple of twenty-something boys after jetsetting all around the world?”
“Not so bad really. The apartment is surprisingly clean and put together. Me and Hansol have always been close, you know so it’s good so far. And Chan is cool - we’ve always gotten along. He was always around growing up so I’m used to having him in my space anyway. He’s different now of course, but uh, yeah you know.”
You stumble, just slightly on your last sentence and something flashes in Jinah’s eyes, her perfectly waxed brows rising almost immediately. You forgot about the fact that no matter how long you two spend apart, she’s still your best friend and she knows you almost as well as she knows herself.
“He’s different?” There’s a tilt in her voice that you don’t recall having in your words.
“I didn’t say it like that!”
“Yes, the hell you did! He’s different how? All I remember about your brother’s best friend is some skinny, big-headed kid that followed us around at school and whenever I was over your house.”
You bite your lip, assessing Jinah and if there’s any way you can steer the conversation elsewhere.
No such luck arrives for you though as she sits there, unwavering as she patiently waits for you to tell her the truth. You already know she won’t leave it alone if you don’t.
Begrudgingly, you give in, letting out a heavy sigh. “Fine, whatever, he’s fucking hot now, okay?! I’ve only been there like three days and any time I run into him he’s nothing but polite and considerate. He’s always been nice but he’s mature now. It’s just so different.”
“Hmph. So, you think he’s mature and polite and hot now? Got it.” She nods, taking a sip of her coffee, and swallowing slowly before speaking. “So do you think you’ll finally give him a chance?”
“Absolutely not! He’s younger than me and not only my brother’s best fucking friend but we’re roommates now. The level of messiness went from 80% to 180% if something goes wrong between us.”
“Yeah, but the chances of things going well also go from 80% to 180% too, right?”
“I don’t think that’s how it works.”
“But you’re both adults! What does it matter? Do you think Hansol will care?”
“I don’t know. But again, the main problem is if Chan and I only end up being a hookup or one of us wants something that the other doesn’t then living with the man will be incredibly awkward, and once again, he and my brother are best friends. Things won’t only be awkward for us, but I don’t want to drag Sol into that mess either. So it’s in everyone’s best interest that I keep my mouth and my legs closed and don’t even think about trying anything with Chan.”
Jinah hums and clearly disagrees but she doesn’t press it. Not that she has to because just like she knows you, you know her, and you know she has so many objections rattling around in her head.
“Anyway, time to hear about you! Tell me about your love life! Is it busy? Are you seeing anyone? Are you sleeping with anyone? I want to know everything about Im Jinah’s romantic endeavors.”
Your best friend clicks her tongue at you, noticing the obvious conversation redirect, but she obliges. She talks about a guy she’s mentioned to you before that she works with that she’s been on a few dates with. As an aside, she mentions that there are plenty of hot, single people at her company that you’ll run into, but you wave that part off.
She mentions that she needs to go shopping this upcoming weekend for a Halloween costume for a party a friend of hers is throwing at the end of October. She also addsthat you too, will be going to said party with her.
“I am?”
“You are. So, this weekend we’ll be getting costumes. A guy I’ve done a ton of ads and shoots with has a party every year and you’ll be my plus one! He’s super nice and pretty wealthy so his place is really nice.”
You do love Halloween and you haven’t really gotten to do much to celebrate it the last handful of years, so you agree to go, even though you knew she would’ve hounded you about going for days anyway. You saved both of you some trouble.
On the topic of Christmas, the two of you get caught up in talking about needing to figure out what to get people and when to go shopping to get ahead of it. You easily fall into conversation with your best friend, your subject changing every few minutes as you laugh and properly get caught up until you’ve both got two empty coffee cups each.
Eventually, Jinah glances at her watch and curses.
“Damn, I’ve got another meeting to run to. My manager and I have been meeting with a few magazines for some last-minute holiday ads they want to shoot for. “I’ll be sure to badger her about any news on your resume okay?”
You and Jinah exchange your goodbyes and you promise to chat in a few days if you don’t hear from her sooner. Even though she’s busy, she cites she’ll still be sure to make time for the two of you to hang out more. You both walk out of the shop together and with a goodbye hug, you both go your separate ways. Her to grab a taxi and you to the train station to head back home.
Chan really thought he was done with big life revelations. His last and biggest was deciding that college and a traditional degree weren’t what he wanted. After that, a bunch of smaller decisions hit him but no combination of realizations, big or small, could’ve prepared him for the fact that he’s still hopelessly in love with the same girl for the last almost fifteen years.
But seeing you again was like someone doused him with a gallon of cold water to the face. Shocking and jarring and nothing could’ve prepared him. Not for the way his eyes almost bugged out of his head upon seeing you again after what felt like far too long or the way his palms got sweaty just being close to you, even though he had just finished a shower before seeing you.
Chan was so sure that he was over you. He’s had plenty of partners over the years. Some serious and some not so much, but he doesn’t think he’s ever compared any of those people to you. It’s been years so surely he isn’t still hung up on his best friend’s older sister.
Unfortunately for him, that is exactly what he is and he’s not sure what to do with this information. A tiny voice in the back of his mind keeps telling him he’s a loser for not being over his childhood crush who has never reciprocated the feelings anyway. Never once have you made any indication that you thought of Chan the same, so it’s not as though you’re going to magically do it now…right?
His mind is so wrapped up in you that he keeps fumbling with the moves he practices at work in preparation for a dance class in a few days. He lets out another frustrated huff as he watches himself in the mirror trip over his feet yet again.
Chan’s close friend and co-choreographer at the studio walks over to the boombox at the side of the room, cutting off the music and staring him down.
“Okay, where’s your head, Chan?” Soonyoung looks at him pointedly. “You’ve been distracted since you get here and keep fucking up.” He waits for an answer, hands on his hips.
Chan hesitates for a moment, wondering if he wants to repeat his early years - where he would tell anyone who would listen that he was in love with Y/n Chwe. This is different though, this is his friend checking on him so he decides to tell Soonyoung.
“The girl I’ve loved since I was ten is back in town.”
“Okay?”
“And I still love her.”
“And? You’re both adults now so you can do something about it right?”
“And she’s living with me. We’re roommates now.”
“And?” Soonyoung rolls his eyes, still not seeing too much of an issue with this.
“She, uh, she’s Hansol’s sister.”
Soonyoung cocks his head to the side in thought. “Okay…well what’s the problem? Hansol is super chill. Do you think he’ll be mad about it?”
“I don’t know. I know Hansol more than almost anybody, but for some reason, I’m still really stressed about how he’ll react.”
“You could always ask him?” Soonyoung tries, offering Chan a bottle of water from the cooler across the room.
“I don’t know. I mean, even if I do and he’s okay with it, what if I ask her out and she says no? She had never liked me like that when we were young. I was always just her brother’s snot-nosed best friend.”
“I get being worried about that, but you’re grown now. Maybe things can be different?”
“Yeah, but if she turns me down, I don’t want to make things awkward for us all living together. And even if I am in some bizarre universe where she is into me too, I could very well fuck this up and she’ll want nothing to do with me and we’ll break up and it’ll still be awkward and then Hansol could not want to be my friend anymore or want me to move out and then what?” Chan ends his rant with a grunt, sliding against the mirror until he plops onto the hardwood floor. Soonyoung comes over and joins him, sitting cross-legged next to his friend.
“This has really been on your mind huh?”
“Hard for it not to be when she is as beautiful as always and sleeping in the room right next to me now.”
“Well, even though I’ve never been through something like this, my advice? Maybe try to just take it slow. Hang out with her more, test the waters, and see if she reciprocates. If so, then either keep getting closer or ask her out and go from there. What’s the point in constant what-ifs you know? Maybe you’re getting a second chance now that you’re both adults and in good places in your life. And sure you might fuck it up, but you also might not. You’ll never know if you don’t try.” Soonyoung shrugs, taking a gulp of water.
Chan side-eyes his friend, genuinely surprised at his words.
“Since when did you turn into a relationship expert with actual good advice?��
Soonyoung chokes on his water, coughing loudly to recover. “What do you mean actual good advice?! I give good advice all the time!”
“Tsk, just like that so-called, good advice you gave me that one time we went to the club and you told me I should start a dance battle with that girl that was flirting with me?”
The man looks genuinely offended, hand flying to his chest in surprise.
“First of all, I was drunk! Second of all, that was a good idea. She said she liked dancers!”
“Yeah, but I think she meant slow, sensual dancing like we had been doing all night before you swooped in with your so-called, good advice.”
“Whatever! Don’t take my advice and pine over this woman for another decade. Just decide so you can stop fucking up this dance!” Soonyoung pushes him over, making him land on his side, but the push is more playful than anything.
While Soonyoung may not have a great track record of steering Chan in the right direction, he mulls it over for the rest of the day after getting back to practicing. He ultimately decides that maybe Soonyoung is right. He won’t do anything weird or out of the ordinary. He’ll just be himself and try to spend more time with you and hopefully be able to show you the real him. The him that’s a mid-twenties career man with a plan and a future, who’s much more mature than from when you used to know him.
If he’s lucky, he won’t make a fool out of himself and if you’re not into him still, you’ll at least let him down gently. If he’s super lucky, you’ll feel the same way about him and he’ll finally get to call you his.
He’s not going to hold his breath, but he’ll regret it once again if he doesn’t at least try with you, unlike he failed to do when he was young and dumb.
Getting the call three days later from Jinah that you got a job at her agency was the best news you’ve gotten in a very long time. Her boss manages to get you a role in their travel department. You’d be working with the assistants of the models to help get their travel booked, manage their transportation, and help arrange all things travel related. While you don’t have any office experience, your flight attendant experience seems to be enough to get you into the role and you weren’t about to argue with that.
As soon as you start, you consider yourself lucky that you seem to fall into the team you’re on easily. It’s not difficult to get comfortable and find your place which makes getting settled all that much simpler. Plus, the pay is decent, and even a little more than what you previously made, so you can’t complain about that.
Jinah uses the Halloween party she told you about as an excuse to go out with you again and an excuse to celebrate your job. Hansol and Chan had already gotten you a small cake to celebrate which was extremely sweet, so you don’t mind celebrating with Jinah.
The cake, you learn in passing from Hansol, was Chan’s idea. It’s only one thing on the long list of ways that Chan has succeeded in getting closer to you over the weeks that it takes you to get settled in. You’ve spent time with Chan as a kid when he was around all the time, but you really get the chance to know him now that you’re adults living together.
You learn most, if not all of his likes and dislikes. His favorite colors, favorite foods, movies he likes, and celebrities he can’t stand (his one-sided rivalry with Lee Byunghun is especially funny to you since he also compliments his acting whenever one of his movies is on). He’s constantly making you laugh, always asking how your day was when you see each other in the evenings, and he always says good morning and asks how you slept when you get up for the day. On nights when he has to get dinner for you all, he always asks if there’s any food you're craving because he promises he’ll pick it up or make it (and he always does every time).
On the weekends, when you’re home relaxing and sleeping in, and if he works, he has started to call home often and ask if you need him to grab anything on the way home, be it medicine, food, a video rental, or anything in between. Chan makes it a habit to check in with you even more than your brother, which Hansol calls out one night over dinner. Chan’s cheeks go red and he throws a wayward shrimp at his best friend but doesn’t deny it, citing that he just wants to help you be comfortable.
If he isn’t checking on you or buying you small things, he’s making sure your laundry is washed if he’s doing his and that your favorite mug (the yellow one with the fried eggs print all over it) is always washed. He makes sure your favorite snacks are in the apartment and that you’re never without anything you need - even finding out your preferred brand of tampons and pads and wordlessly getting them for you.
By the time the end of October rolls around, you’ve been living with Chan and your brother for a month and your feelings for Chan are only growing, much to your utter dismay. You don’t want to like him, for the multitude of reasons you’ve already outlined in your head and to Jinah, but he makes it damn near impossible. If he’s not being the most sweet and polite man you’ve ever been around, he’s walking around the apartment shirtless from time to time or coming back from the gym or work sweaty and flushed with his arms on display.
He constantly treats you like a true gentleman would, carrying groceries for you and doing any heavy lifting around the apartment that comes up. It may be the bare minimum, but Chan treats you better as someone you’re not dating than anyone you actually have dated. You’re in a constant battle between your coochie and your heart about your array of feelings for Lee Chan and it’s only serving to drive you crazier each day.
On the night of Halloween, when Jinah is in your room with you getting ready for her friend’s party, she teases that Chan may not be able to hold himself back when he sees you.
“I don’t know, Y/n. Your ass does look really good in this jumpsuit.” You admire your figure in your mirror, admiring how the soft yet clingy fabric does, in fact, do your ass justice.
You and Jinah decided to go with a theme for your costumes. She’s going as an angel, complete with a white mini-dress, wings, and a halo. You went with a devil, the red, clingy jumpsuit you wear hugs every part of your body that you’d wanna show off and the zipper in the front is open just enough to accentuate your cleavage. The horns attached to the headband on your head sit comfortably and are the finishing touch.
Yes, you’re not supposed to want Chan to like you because it’ll make it that much harder for you, but you don’t mind the idea of him looking.
“Ready?” You ask when you’re finally done with your makeup, making sure your red lipstick is perfect.
“Yep! Let me call a car for us!” You and Jinah leave your room and she fishes her Nokia from her white bag.
When you step into the living room, you nearly trip over your feet upon seeing Chan lounging on the couch, flipping through TV channels. You know he and Hansol are also going out tonight to their friend Junhui’s Halloween party, but you hadn’t discussed your costumes.
His black t-shirt is as tight as your jumpsuit is and displays every muscle and ripple in his arms and chest and you even swear you can make out the faint outline of his abs. The black pants he wears are baggy since he’s dressed as a firefighter, but the fabric stretches over his thighs as he spreads his legs, and the suspenders that keep those pants up stir something feral within you. It takes every ounce of willpower not to go over and mount yourself in his lap right then and there.
Chan notices you both come in and hurries to sit up, making room on the couch for you. He seems to take notice of your costume and you watch as his eyes sweep over you from head to toe, unabashed and almost forgetting (or uncaring) that you can see him checking you out.
“Hey! You, uh, you look amazing.” He blurts, eyes still locked onto you. Jinah clears her voice from next to you and Chan seems to then remember that someone else is in the room. “Er, ah, you both do!” He adds, eyes flickering to your best friend who just snorts.
“Thanks, Chan. Our ride is here though, so I do have to steal her away now.”
“Ah, okay. Sure. I’ll see you later tonight, Y/n. Have fun and you both stay safe, okay?”
You nod, telling him to do the same. You catch sight of your brother as you and Jinah are on your way to the door. His Ghostface robe drags on the carpet as he comes down the hall.
Once you and Jinah slide into the car, and she gives the driver the address, she gives you a look.
“Don’t,” you say, stopping her before she can say what you already know she will.
“What?”
“What do you mean, ‘what’?”
“Don’t say it.”
“Don’t say what? That Chan got real-time tunnel vision checking you out in your costume and that he forgot I was even in the room.”
“Yes, that! Don’t say that!”
She shrugs, reaching into her bag and pulling out her compact to check her reflection.
“Okay. I won’t say it. I don’t really need to since you know.”
You did, of course, you did. You could feel the heat in his gaze when he looked at you, but you remind yourself that you can’t do anything more than look. Maybe if you’re lucky, someone at this party can distract you.
Truth be told, when you longed for someone at this party to distract you from Chan, you were only putting it into the universe and just keeping your fingers crossed. You didn’t think you’d actually find someone else to catch your interest. You didn’t anticipate that Jinah’s model friend that owns the large, expertly decorated house would take an interest in you, and yet he did the moment you met him.
“Minhyuk, this is my best friend, Y/n! Y/n, this is Lee Minhyuk. Y/n just moved back to Seoul after traveling for work.”
Minhyuk wastes no time in bowing to you before grabbing your hand and placing a kiss on the top of it.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/n. Any friend of Jinah is a friend of mine.” The handsome man smiles widely at you, making you swoon on the spot. “Especially a friend as stunning as you.”
One look at this buff, beautiful man with perfect hair, perfect teeth, and a perfect face and you’re not surprised in the slightest that he’s a model. You’re sure he can get any woman that he wants and that his charms work on anyone he flashes a brilliant smile to. You’re annoyed that he’s having the same effect on you the more he talks to you and stays by your side for the first hour of the party. You chalk it up to having been single for so long and on your repressed desire for Chan, but you let Minhyuk flirt with you and drape his arm over your shoulder as he asks you about your flight attendant days.
Jinah stays with you both for a while after introducing you, but when it seems obvious that Minhyuk is making heart eyes at you, she excuses the two of you momentarily, pulling you aside.
“Hey, are you okay?!” She says as best as she can in your ear. The music from the sound system in the next room is quieter in the dining room you’re standing in, but is still turned up to a booming volume.
“Yeah, I’m good!”
“You sure? He’s hitting on you pretty hard. He’s a good guy but say the word and we’re out of here.” You mull your next words and decisions over, ultimately deciding to stay and see where things go with Minhyuk. You had asked the universe for a distraction on your way and here it is so why pass it up?
“I’m sure. If I need you or want out, I’ll tell you.” Jinah gives you another firm look before relenting and going with you back to Minhyuk’s side.
An hour later Minhyuk offers to show you around his house. Jinah stares at you, trying to gauge your reaction. You’re sure this will end up with the two of you somewhere in this house, presumably naked, but you decide that’s exactly what you need.
Minhyuk keeps his arm draped over your shoulders as she gives you a tour of his house, avoiding all of the drunken party goers and horny couples making out as you go. Almost every room in his house has people packed into it. His den, his game room, his second living room, and all four of his guest rooms. The only room that has no one else in it is his bedroom which is where you ultimately end up.
“Your house is very fancy,” you compliment, looking around his bedroom. The bed is bigger than even some of the hotel beds you’ve slept in. The duvet is soft under your palms as you sit on the edge and lean back on your hands. Art hangs on the walls and he has two dressers that you can see. You can’t see into the bathroom across the room, but the tub you catch sight of has to be able to fit at least four people.
“Thank you, I’m glad you like it. How’s the bed?” Minhyuk smirks at you from across the room, leaning against a tall dresser. The scrubs of his doctor costume are standard, save for the fact that the top is sleeveless. He crosses his arms and you see how every muscle flexes and twitches under his tan skin
“Mmm, it’s pretty soft. Your duvet is nice.” You cross and uncross your legs, watching as the model follows your movements with his eyes.
“Yeah? The sheets are even better.”
“You don’t say?”
“Yeah. They’re real silk. And temperature controlled so they’re the perfect coolness and won’t make you hot.” As he speaks he stalks towards you, tossing aside the surgical mask that has been hanging under his chin since you met him.
“Oh? They sound expensive.”
“They are. And they feel like a cloud. Wanna feel them?” Minhyuk is standing in front of you now, his knee resting against the edge of the bed between your legs, waiting for your next words.
You don’t leave him waiting for long, as you breathe out an “I’d love to,” and he immediately bends forward, hands grabbing your face to pull you into a heated kiss. Your hands reach out to grasp at his arms, nails lightly digging into the firm flesh.
Minhyuk grunts into your mouth, fully climbing onto the bed to hover over your body. One hand stays on your cheek while the other travels down your body, grabbing and squeezing as he settles on your hip.
His tongue slips into your mouth when you separate your lips to take in a breath. Your bodies move together as you shuffle backward up the bed a little, giving him more room to drape his body over yours and kneel between your legs. He presses his pelvis forward, the movement causing him to brush against you, the clothed tip of his hardening length grazing your crotch.
The sensation makes him groan and pause for a moment, his tongue and body stilling. A jolt of confidence rushes over you, making you shift underneath him and flip him onto his side. You quickly push him all the way onto his back and crawl into his lap.
“Mmm maybe I like this view more than you under me,” he mumbles, admiring the new position. He only gets a moment to take it in before you’re leaning down to kiss him again, your fingers brushing through his dark hair. Minhyuk’s hands move down your back to grip your ass.
Your make out session lasts for a few minutes, your mind finally slipping away from everything else that has been tumbling around in your brain. At some point, Minhyuk pulls away with a gasp and quickly peels his top off, tossing it aside before leaning back and letting you ogle him.
Your mouth drops at the sight of him, all chiseled muscle and rippling abs. You gawk for only a moment before your brain decides to remind you of the way that Chan looks without a shirt. He’s also muscular but in a much softer way. Chan’s abs are lightly defined and his pecs are still visible. You also always find your way back to thinking of that day when he had just gotten out of the shower, of the small happy trail that runs down, down, down to where you can’t see. You wonder how soft that dusting of hair is.
Minhyuk momentarily pushes away your Chan imagery when he reaches up to grab your face to pull you back down to kiss him again. Your hands stretch out to steady yourself, finding purchase on his biceps. The hard muscles twitch under your fingers and you squeeze in return. Immediately, you’re reminded of how soft Chan’s biceps and arms are.
A week ago the two of you had run into each other in the hallway of the apartment. You were leaving when he was rounding the corner, coming back from the gym. He had a tank top on and when he appeared in front of you, you both jumped, yelping in surprise. You had reached your hands out by instinct, with the intention of doing what you’re not sure, but when you noticed it was Chan at the last minute your hands unfurled from fists and gripped his arms to steady yourself.
His arms were built, but still so soft and smooth under your hands. That feeling has stayed with you even now as you think about Chan and his arms while another man is kissing your neck.
All of a sudden, you wonder what it would feel like if Chan was the one that was under you and if he was the one whose lips were pressing kisses on your throat instead.
Minhyuk’s fingers walk their way to the front of your jumpsuit and he flicks at the zipper that keeps your outfit secure. Before he has a chance to unzip it, his bedroom door bursts open and a woman stands in the doorway, yelling his name angrily.
The intrusion makes you jump, jerking too far back and toppling backward onto the floor.
“Shit, Y/n! You okay?!” Minhyuk jumps up and offers you his hand, being nice enough to at least check on you.
“Minhyuk, what the fuck?!” The woman screeches again, stomping over to him and shoving his chest. “I’ve been walking around this stupid party looking for you for like half an hour! You invited me tonight just to run off and fuck someone else?!”
“Hyoseong, I’m sorry, I-” Hyoseong cuts him off by shoving him backward, making him lose his balance and fall back onto the bed. He’s too close to the corner of the bed though, because he keeps going and falls back off the side, yelping the whole time.
Hyoseong smirks, satisfied as she watches him before turning her gaze to you still standing there awkwardly. The flame in her eyes diminishes and is replaced with concern.
“He’s not worth it, I promise. All he knows how to do is fuck every girl he looks at and lead you on!” She screams that last part at him before turning and storming back out of the room.
Embarrassment is written all over Minhyuk’s face as he scrambles up and gives you a sheepish smile. He opens his mouth to say something, but you speak first.
“Don’t even try it.” You stick your palm out at him, stopping him from responding.
He listens, not saying anything as you leave the room and beeline back downstairs in search of Jinah. You find her in the kitchen talking to a few other girls and when she sees you, she immediately rushes over to you, worry written all over her face. You reassure her that you’re okay and tell her about Hyoseong and she gasps.
“Fuck, I thought they broke up! Ugh, Y/n, I’m so sorry. I’ll go kick his ass right now!” She looks over your shoulder for him, but you stop her. This is clearly a story you’ll have to ask her about on another day. Right now, all you want to do is go home, shower, and flop into bed.
She doesn’t let you convince her to stay and have fun and is already calling a car for you both. You ride together and you tell her what was going through your head when you were hooking up with Minhyuk and she just nods, letting you pour out your garbled thoughts.
Of course, her response is to act on these feelings, but you quickly shut that down, reminding her of the list of reasons that you cannot act on said feelings. As she’s gotten accustomed to doing, she rolls her eyes and tells you that you’re thinking too much into this.
The conversation dies when you pull up at home, thanking her for the ride and hurrying out before she can keep bringing it up.
Chan is fucked. That’s all he thinks when he and Hansol get to Junhui’s party. Ever since you left, all that his brain plays on a loop is you in that red jumpsuit. It is long sleeved and the bottom of the pants are flared, but the fabric hugs you in every way imaginable. The only things he wanted to look at was the curve of your hips, the swell of your breasts, and the way it framed your ass as you left.
He knows that the image of you in that costume is all he’ll think about for not only the rest of the night but quite possibly for the rest of his life. He did his very best not to make it obvious he was checking you out, but in his defense, he swears he also saw your eyes stay too long on his chest and his thighs.
As the month has ticked by living with you, Chan has only fallen for you even more than he thought was possible. Everything you do and say makes his heart race. Every time he sees you, he wants to hold and kiss you, no matter what time of day it is. You look just as beautiful waking up as you do going to sleep.
He’s whipped and he hasn’t even told you that he’s still in love with you.
He knows he only has eyes for you because he spends the first hour of the party talking with his friends and sipping on a drink, but he still keeps going back to you in his mind. He knows he is especially hopeless when a cute girl approaches him and asks him to dance. He forgets her name as soon as she says it (Yerim maybe?) and even though she looks incredibly sexy in her little black dress and cat ears, the only thing Chan can see is you when he closes his eyes.
Even when she drags him to the living room to dance and presses her body close to his, he wishes it was you that was rubbing your ass against his crotch. Chan wonders what you’re doing right now and if you’re dancing with someone else just like this. He beats himself up at the thought, chiding himself for not asking you to come to this party instead or even to stop by after the one you’re at now. Even though Jinah asked you to her friend’s party first, he still should’ve brought it up, but he was too nervous you’d turn him down. He hates the idea of you looking that stunning and having other people look at you or touch you. He wants you so bad, in any way you’ll have him, and he doesn’t care how pathetic that sounds.
The cat girl seems to take notice that Chan is distracted as his arms lay limp on her hips. She turns around, draping her arms around his neck and pressing her tits against his chest. Her wide brown eyes blink up at him and her black painted lips curl up in a smile. She’s really cute, Chan can admit - like really cute - but she’s also not you. Before he can think anymore, she’s on her tiptoes, placing a kiss on his lips.
Any other time, he doesn’t think he’d turn down a cute girl that is so obviously into him and he certainly wouldn’t turn away from a kiss, but this time is different. This time, Chan only thinks of you and wishes this was you. That’s why he doesn’t make much effort to kiss her back. Not a single spark pops between him and the cat girl. She quickly gets tired of his lack of enthusiasm, soon pulling away and turning in a huff to leave him standing in the middle of the living room.
Chan watches her go, his eyes looking around the room and it hits him how much he doesn’t actually want to be here. He’d much rather be back at home, sitting on the couch with you watching late night sitcoms like the two of you have fallen into the habit of doing.
He’s only at the party for a couple of hours, before he finds Hansol in the kitchen, letting him know that he doesn’t feel very party-like anymore and decides to go home. Hansol is right in the middle of racing with their friend Seokmin, trying to shotgun a beer faster than him, but when he wins, he gives Chan his attention.
“Are you sure? You want me to go with you?”
“Nah, I’m good. Stay. I’m just gonna shower and probably chill.”
“Alright, dude. Can you just keep an eye out for Y/n when you get back?”
Hansol doesn’t have to ask twice. Even if he hadn’t asked once, Chan would’ve looked out for you anyway. It’s why after he’s showered and gotten a snack, he goes to the couch instead of his bed. He assumes you won’t be home until it’s late, but if he’s lucky he’ll catch a glimpse of you before you go to bed and will make sure you’re safe.
He’ll also get one more look at your costume which isn’t as important as making sure you’re safe, but it’s absolutely something he’s looking forward to.
When you get home, you’re surprised to see that the TV in the living room is on. When you round the corner you see Chan sitting on the couch, under a blanket with popcorn in hand and eyes wide in surprise at seeing you.
“Hey, Y/n! You’re home early.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t really feeling like being at a party anymore. Too people-y. I’m surprised you’re here though.”
Chan shrugs, “I guess I wasn’t feeling like being at a party either.”
You hum, glancing at the space on the couch he makes for you. “I’m gonna shower and put on my pajamas. Mind if I hang out here with you when I’m done? I’m not that tired yet.”
“Yeah! I mean, uh, yeah of course you can.” He clears his throat, eyes still flickering between you and the TV.
“Great. I’ll be quick and then we can watch a movie?” Chan nods and shamelessly watches you go when you hurry down the hall and into the bathroom.
You remove your makeup and shower faster than you think you ever have, eager to spend the evening with Chan.
Once your most comfortable pajamas are on, you join him, plopping next to him on the couch.
“So, what’re we watching?”
“Scream?”
“Oh, yes! Both of them?”
“Sure.”
Chan starts the movie already in the VCR and passes you the bowl in his hands which you eagerly accept. As the movie goes on, you both start on your respective sides of the couch. It isn’t until you’re halfway through the first movie that you have half a mind to notice that your leg brushes against Chan’s each time you adjust. At first, you jump at the contact, and he seems to as well, both of you shifting away embarrassedly.
That only lasts for a small amount of time though, because by the end of the movie, you’re both close again and the bowl of popcorn you’ve been sharing is empty. After Chan gets up and puts in the second movie, he comes back to the couch and sits down, this time close enough that your thighs touch and neither of you moves.
You continue to stay close to one another as you watch the movie and eventually, you’re so close that you’re practically cuddling. You’re not, but you may as well. Seeing how at some point, you end up falling asleep with your head on Chan’s shoulder and his arm draped around your waist.
You only know this to be the case when you’re woken up sometime later, Hansol’s voice rousing you out of your sleep. When you open your eyes, the first thing you see is Ghostface staring down at you, causing you to scream, jolting into Chan’s lap and making the man jolt awake too. His eyes meet Ghostface standing in front of you both, also making him shriek and grasp onto you for protection.
Hansol lets out a chuckle, and lifts the mask, taking in the terror written on his roommates’ faces.
“It’s just me.”
“Jesus, Sol! You could’ve taken the damn mask off before you scared the shit out of us.”
You toss a pillow at him, hitting him in the gut, but he doesn't flinch.
“Nah this was more fun.” He dodges the second pillow that Chan tries to smack him with and says goodnight to you both as he sprints down the hall.
Once he’s gone, you both realize that you’re still partially in Chan’s lap and he still has an arm around you. You sit up quickly, sharing an awkward laugh with him as you get up, announcing that you’ll start to clean up. Chan helps and you tidy up the living room and cut the TV off, refolding the blanket you shared and saying goodnight before you go your separate ways to your rooms.
Your words are awkward, but neither of you can get over how warm and right it felt being so close. You tell yourself to forget it as you get into bed, reminding yourself that you can’t do that again.
Meanwhile, Chan can’t help but wonder if you’re thinking about him too, just like he’s thinking about you and the way you smell and how much he wants to hold you like that again one day.
He’s not sure if that’ll be a reality for him, but he can only hope so.
November is halfway over when you think that maybe you can finally, fully and unabashedly admit that you like Lee Chan. After Halloween night when you fell asleep together, you’ve only been spending more time with him and getting to know more about him. The problem is, the more you get to know Chan, the more you’re unable to ignore the rapidly growing crush on him.
You want to date him and have sex with him and kiss him. You want to hold his hand when you're grocery shopping or if you’re both in the same room. You want to hug him when you’re sitting next to each other on the couch or on the floor. You want to sleep in the same bed with him, cuddle against his chest, and wake up next to him the following morning.
You admit this to Jinah one day over lunch and she isn’t the least bit surprised. She’s stopped being so enthusiastic about you admitting your feelings for and to Chan, but you already know that’s what she wants to tell you to do whenever you talk about him or she sees you looking at him if you’re all in the same room.
It gets worse when you and Chan spend a day together decorating the apartment for Christmas. He helps you get the tree - a small plastic, realistic looking one since none of you want to deal with the work of a real one - decorate it, and hang up other decorations around the apartment. It all feels so incredibly domestic, similar to all of the cheesy rom coms you’ve had to watch on long flights around this time of year. Of course Hansol is there helping too, but he doesn’t seem to get in between the two of you when you stand too close or reach for the same ornaments.
Well, it’s more likely that he literally doesn’t even notice, but it’s still very cozy and special nonetheless.
Either way, Chan only continues to prove himself as the sweetest, most caring man you’ve ever been around and it’s only serving to stoke the fire that is your feelings for him. It was getting harder and harder to separate those feelings until you simply can’t deny them anymore.
You’re not alone in this want and desire. Every day that Chan has to see you and spend time with you, he only falls for you more. He thought his feelings were rough to grapple with when he was a kid, but this is different. Now that he’s spent so much time with you as adults, getting to know any and everything about you, it only cements his love for you into his heart.
This only makes things harder for him. He’s been trying to take Soonyoung’s advice and show more of the true him to you and he can’t tell if it’s working or not. You seem to enjoy being around him and he knows that at times he’s seen your eyes stray over his body. It’s not enough to make him brave enough to make any moves yet, but he thinks about it constantly. What if he’s reading the signals wrong? What if you’re just really nice and a good roommate and you don’t feel anything remotely romantic for him?
It’s that doubt and fear that has him keeping his mouth shut. Instead, he just constantly thinks about every part of you that he likes (which is everything, to be honest). He thinks about how pretty you are and how soft your skin is. He’s been lucky enough to accidentally knock into you or brush arms or thighs on occasion and every time he feels electricity throughout his body. He constantly thinks about how good you smell and how he can rank a list of all of his favorite outfits that you own. He thinks about your smile and your laugh and the way your expressions change when you experience different emotions.
Lee Chan is in love with you. Always has been and at this rate, probably always will be. He wants to be with you in every way possible. You’re always on his mind, but when he’s in bed, with only a single wall separating you both, he can’t help but think of other things that he likes about you.
Like how pretty your lips are when he sees you wrap them around a bottle or lick stray food from your fingers. Or how tempting your legs look when the heat in the apartment is a little too warm and you wear small sleep shorts. Or even the sound of your voice when you talk to him. He can imagine so easily how soft and breathy your voice could sound while you say his name if he was between your legs in either your bed or his.
Chan thinks about all of these things so much more when he wraps his hand around his aching cock and jerks off, wishing that it was your hand, or mouth, or pussy around him instead. He thinks about how much he’d love to watch you fall apart for him and only him.
When he cums all over himself with a whisper of your name on his lips, he starts to feel a little guilty for thinking of you like this but reminds himself that it’s just fantasies and he’s not acting on anything.
Little does he know that you want him to act on all of those things and more. He’s on your mind most nights too and you can’t help but slip your fingers between your legs. You think about his laugh and his wonderful smile and how high pitched his moans probably are and how stunning you know he’d look under you while you ride him. When your fingers are buried inside of yourself knuckle deep, you want so badly for it to be him and his fingers or his cock.
You have similar conflicting feelings after you fall apart, biting down on your lip to stop from crying his name. Guilt washes over you after the orgasm haze lifts and you scold yourself for thinking of him like this when you specifically tell yourself not to. That lasts for a bit until you remind yourself that it’s not like you can act on any of these fantasies so they’re better off as just that.
It's Thursday when snow starts to fall and cover the city of Seoul. You don’t mind too much. You can’t remember the last time you were in a place where you’d have the potential of a snowy Christmas, so you weren’t complaining too much.
Saturday is when the snow stops and sits on the ground like a fresh blanket. Your original plan is to lounge around the apartment and enjoy a day of nothing, the book you’ve been meaning to finish in hand when the phone rings. Your plans are rerouted when Hansol announces that you’re all going ice skating. Seungkwan and his partner want to go to the new outdoor skating rink that recently opened, but they want to invite all of you. You’re prepared to turn down the invitation because you’re cozy and you don’t even know how to skate, until Chan, who’s on the couch next to you playing his Game Boy, looks up and nods. He gives you a sidelong glance to see what your answer will be. The excited look on his face is enough for you to agree.
Half an hour later the three of you are in Hansol’s car and driving to the rink. Seungkwan and his partner are there when you arrive along with their other friend Seokmin who you recognize a little but from high school. Everyone eagerly lines up at the booth to get their rental skates and you lag behind. Chan notices and moves to stand next to you, asking if you’re okay.
“I’m fine I just, I don’t actually know how to skate.”
“Wait, really? Why didn’t you mention that earlier?”
You shrug, taking a step as the line moves. “I don’t know. Everyone seemed excited to come so I didn’t wanna ruin it.” That’s partially true. You also just wanted to spend time with him, but you keep that to yourself.
“Well don’t worry, I’ll help you.”
“Ah, you don’t have to-”
“Nope. I wasn’t asking! I’m telling you that I’ll help.” He gives you a wide smile that makes you melt just as fast as the snow piled under your feet.
When it’s finally your turn for your skates, you ask for your size and Chan insists on paying for your rental with his, ignoring how many times you object. He leads you both to a bench on the side of the rink and helps you lace up your skates. Once they’re on and secure, you adjust your scarf and gloves and wait for him to finish putting his on.
Chan stands first and offers you his gloved hand which you take without much thought. Slowly, he leads you to the entrance of the rink, letting you slowly step out as he skates backward. As soon as your foot makes contact with the ice you almost feel your balance give out, but Chan keeps a strong grip on your hands, helping keep you upright.
“I won’t let you fall. Promise.” He smiles at you again, this time soft and warm and the gesture feels like a comforting hug.
You and Chan do an entire lap around the rink, albeit slowly, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Hansol has already passed you both numerous times, as has Seungkwan, but Chan doesn’t pay them any mind. All of his attention is locked on you and only you.
You manage to do a few more laps, your legs feeling more confident each time. Chan keeps skating backwards with his hands on you, the two of you falling into conversation and laughing the more comfortable you get with him ferrying you around the ice.
Things are going well. Your time with him feels so incredibly right. He seems to be enjoying it too because at some point he shortens the gap between both of you and moves his hands from around yours to your forearms, your biceps, and eventually, his hands are around your waist and yours are draped over his shoulder. The closeness is not exactly normal for two roommates who are not romantically involved, but neither of you moves away.
Your cheeks, nose, and lips are so cold that eventually, you’re ready to call for a break, but then you notice how close Chan is and how red his lips are. He looks cold too and you wonder what will happen if you lean forward and close the already lessening gap.
Chan’s eyes flicker up from your feet to your eyes, and then your lips. You hold your breath in that moment and look between his lips and his eyes. Something between the two of you stirs and you swear you see him inching his face closer and closer.
Before you can finally kiss Chan like you’ve been daydreaming about for the past 2 and a half months, you shift on your left foot which proves to be a horrible idea. You’re falling backward faster than you and Chan can register. You attempt to put your hands back to break your fall which helps because you don’t fall on your ass but you do land on your left wrist with more force than you thought. A sharp, shooting pain runs from your wrist to your elbow making you yelp in pain.
“Y/n!” Chan drops to his knees to check on you and Hansol is at your side in seconds.
“I’m okay, I think I fucked up my wrist though.” They both help you up, each man on either side of you to get you off of the ice. They sit you on a bench and Chan takes off your skates, then his before sprinting to the bench you both started at that still has your boots.
The rest of your group joins you to check in and you notice a few other skaters looking in your direction. In between the pain in your wrist, you feel utter mortification at all of the attention and the way that you busted your ass in front of everyone. Especially given the fact that you swear that you were so close to kissing Chan.
When he comes back with your boots, Chan helps you stand up and announces that he and Hansol will take you to the hospital. You try to object, but they don't want to hear it.
So, you end your day sitting in the hospital getting a wrist brace put on. The doctor says it’s only a mild sprain and all you need to do is wear your brace and use your wrist as little as possible for at least two weeks and you should be just fine.
Even though Chan is in the room when the words “mild sprain” leave the doctor’s mouth, he still treats you as if you have two broken legs and a concussion. He insists on helping you out of the hospital and car and into the apartment. When you sit on the couch he makes sure to prop the throw pillows up under your arm to keep your wrist elevated.
“Chan, my arm won’t fall off.”
“I know, but the doctor recommended keeping it elevated, remember? Now are you hungry? I think we have some leftovers, or if you want me to go out and grab something I can.” He stares at you concerned, waiting for your next order.
Shaking your head you slide over on the couch and gesture to the cushion. “Chan, I promise I’m fine. All I need is for you to sit down and just relax. I ruined skating so try and enjoy the rest of your Saturday.”
“Hey, you didn’t ruin anything! It was an accident. I’m just happy you’re okay.” Chan’s hand lifts and hovers over your good hand sitting on the cushion between the two of you. It’s only for a second because he seems to rather quickly decide against it, letting his hand land in his lap.
He doesn’t think you notice, but you do and it stings, just a little.
Despite the awkwardness that lingers now and again between you and Chan over the next week, he still insists on taking care of you. He ignores your protests for the first two days, so you end up just giving in. You let him do any simple lifting around the apartment, even going as far as to carry your food for you at mealtimes. He’s already been doing a lot of small favors and nice things for you, but he does it even more as your wrist heals. It’s both overwhelming and the most flattering thing anyone has ever done for you.
It’s not helping your emotional battle with your feelings for him in the slightest, but you’re ready to give up and accept it. You’re not sure if he feels the same or not. He was the first to initiate what you truly thought was about to be a kiss at the skating rink, but since that failed spectacularly, you feel like he’s also pulling away a little bit. To you, your relationship has only deepened since you moved in and you two were becoming closer and closer. Now though, even though he practically waits on you hand and foot, he still does it in the most platonic way possible, if that’s even possible. So, feelings you harbor for him aside, you’re stuck holding them to yourself in a vice grip.
Working with your wrist sprained is annoying, to say the least. Your role involves computer and phone usage which isn’t impossible, it just makes you a little slower at doing your day to day since everything has to be done with one hand.
When you hit the middle of your second week in the brace, you feel like your wrist will heal closer to the two weeks. That means that if you’re lucky, you only have three days left to suffer in the brace. You wonder if that means things between you and Chan will continue to change even further, but do your best to fight the spiral you’re about to go on. You’re just happy work is done for the day and you can relax.
“Sol!” When you walk into the apartment it’s the first thing you yell out, waiting for your brother to answer.
“Yeah?”
“Did I get a package today?!” Your very first set of business cards that your boss ordered for you a few weeks ago were supposed to arrive today. Hansol stayed home due to a stomach bug, so he was responsible for getting the mail. It wasn’t anything particularly fun, but you were still excited for your own business cards nonetheless.
“That depends; did you pick up the medicine I asked you to get?” He calls back. You roll your eyes as you kick your shoes off and gently remove your crossbody bag.
“And what if I said I didn’t? What’re you gonna do? Hold my package for ransom in your room?”
“Maybe. Or I hid it somewhere in the apartment and now you have to play hide and seek for it.” He chuckles.
“Hansol Vernon Chwe, if you don’t give me my mail, I will literally take your Game Boy and shove it up my - oh.” Your threat to Hansol vanishes the second you turn the corner into the living room and see a man on your couch that you don’t know. A handsome man at that.
A very handsome man.
“What was that?” Your brother teases you, seeing the way you blink back wordlessly at his friend.
“Nothing, shut up. Here’s your medicine, nerd.” You snap out of it and toss the paper bag at your brother on the couch.
“Thanks. Your package is in your room on your desk.”
“Thanks,” you nod, your eyes shifting back to the man on the couch who’s just been smiling politely at you since you entered, chuckling at your sibling spat.
“This is Joshua, by the way.” Hansol finally says, gesturing to the man next to him. “Josh, this is my sister I told you about.”
“Yeah, I remember her. Hey, Y/n,” Joshua waves at you, his smile lowering but you still notice the way the corners of his lips quirk.
“You remember me?” You ask as you try and wrack your brain for any Joshuas from your past. “Oh! Joshua Hong?!” The minute you remember him, you’re even more shocked at how good looking he is. The once lanky, awkward looking transfer student that your brother befriended in his first year of high school even though Joshua is older than him, is now so much different. He’s filled out more, the t-shirt he’s wearing hugging his torso in the most distracting way possible. His jaw is defined, his hair longer and a soft shade of reddish-brown. He looks like a completely different person in your eyes.
What the fuck is going on with all of your brother’s friends? Why were they all suddenly so goddamn hot?!
“That’s me. It’s been a while, huh?”
“I mean yeah, try almost a decade?” You sit on the couch on the other side of Hansol to catch up. “What have you been up to?”
“Oh, nothing much. I’m finishing my last year of school. I’m getting my bachelor of medicine right now.”
“You’re going to be a doctor?!” You’re surprised, to say the least. From your memory, you can’t remember Joshua being interested in the medical field, but at the same time, you didn’t really know Joshua well enough to recall too much about him.
He lets out a sheepish laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah. I’ll be doing pediatrics. I didn’t anticipate that I’d get into pediatric medicine initially, it’s just what I fell into and I love it.” God, he’s incredibly fine and he’s going to be a doctor? You’ve completely forgotten what you were planning on doing when you get home.
The front door opens then, Chan arriving home from work too. When he comes into the living room he freezes, surprised at the third person on the couch.
“Shua hyung?”
“Hey, Chan!”
“What’re you doing here?”
“Ah, my apartment building is being exterminated and I need to be out for two days and Hansol is gracious enough to let me crash on your couch till it’s done.”
Chan nods, not minding too much until his eyes flicker to you. He immediately notices the way you look at Joshua. He looks at you enough to know most of your facial expressions and the way your eyes inspect Joshua makes it clear you’re looking at him in the complete opposite of a platonic way.
Chan feels something unpleasant stirring in the pit of his stomach that he can’t shake.
It turns out Joshua is much more than just a doctor-to-be with a pretty face the more you talk with him. It should’ve been a little more awkward getting to know him, but it really wasn’t. You have a lot in common and he’s incredibly interesting and charming. He’s easier to get along with than you had anticipated. The two of you end up spending time together while he’s staying over and he also insists on helping you when he can even though, as you remind all of the men in the house, it’s just a minor wrist sprain.
You are lucky that he’s studying medicine because he inspects your wrist while he’s staying with you and reaffirms what the doctor at the hospital said. It’s not that serious and you should be free by the end of the week. Joshua’s hands are so much bigger than yours and they’re so very warm. The way he cradles your injured wrist is delicate and he handles you like the smallest flower. His sweet gestures make you feel warm all over anytime he says something kind to you or helps you.
He’s only on your couch for two days, but it’s long enough that you’re drawn to him. It helps that he is probably one of the most gorgeous men you’ve ever seen, but his personality makes him almost too good to be true. Or you’re just incredibly desperate for someone to give you attention since it seems like Chan has taken a step back from being your nurse or growing closer to you. It hurts a bit, but having Joshua around feels nice and makes you feel a little more cared for.
When it’s the day that Joshua is supposed to be leaving, you both get back from work at the same time. You chat with him while he puts the pillowcase and blanket he used in the laundry and goes into the bathroom to make sure he’s packed all of his toiletries.
As you walk him to the door he thanks you again for letting him stay. Before he leaves though, he stops and takes a few seconds before turning back to you, surprising you.
“Hey, Y/n, I know this will seem completely out of nowhere, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but would you let me take you out sometime?”
You blink back at him, mouth opening into a surprised ‘o.’
“No pressure of course! And I won’t be upset if you say no. You’ve only really been getting to know me for two days, so I wouldn’t blame you at all if it’s a no.”
Even though Joshua seems like an absolute gentleman and has been nothing but nice to you, you still can’t help but pause. Your track record with dating has historically not been very good. Hell, even your last attempt at a hookup failed miserably. Plus, Joshua is another one of your brother’s friends. He’s only a couple of years younger than you, and sure, he doesn’t live with you, but you’d hate to be the reason that any of Hansol’s friendships get ruined.
“Joshua, you’re really sweet, but I’m Hansol’s older sister. I don’t know how he’d feel about that.”
“Okay, that’s a very fair hesitation, but if it helps, I asked Hansol this morning if I could ask you out and he said, and I quote, ‘Sure, whatever. Just make sure you don’t hurt her or I’ll tell Seungcheol.’” Joshua laughs, shrugging at you. You recognize that name as being Hansol’s oldest friend. You didn’t talk much when you were in school, but you remember him being mildly popular and feared by many.
You return his laugh and can’t help but wonder if Hansol would feel the same if you and Chan dated.
Shaking your head, you brush the thought away. One date can’t hurt - it’s not like Joshua is asking you to be his girlfriend. You and Chan are still in an odd place right now anyway. You’re not really sure how to gauge him right now, and he isn’t making any moves to change that. Sure you don’t know Joshua very well but that’s what dates are for right?
“Okay,” you finally say. “But after I get this stupid brace off. I will see my doctor tomorrow afternoon and I should get an all clear.”
The smile Joshua gives you is lethal and makes your palms sweaty. “Of course. After you take your brace off. I’d want you to be feeling completely better so you can enjoy yourself.” His words make your face heat up, suddenly feeling shy. “What do you say I pick you up tomorrow at six?”
“Sure, that works for me.”
“It’s a date then,” Joshua offers you one more look before he’s out the door and on his way.
Once he’s gone, you bring your hands to your cheeks, cursing yourself for getting so flustered around a guy you barely know, no matter how perfect he looks. To get your mind off of Joshua, you shower and get ready for the evening before deciding you’ll order a pizza and call Jinah to tell her about your date tomorrow.
“So how’s it going with Y/n?” Soonyoung asks Chan as they clean up and prepare to lock up the dance studio at the end of the day.
“It’s…going I guess.”
“I assume this means it’s going absolutely nowhere?” Chan narrows his eyes at Soonyoung, ignoring the way his friend laughs at him.
“It was going somewhere. And then I made her break her wrist and now everything is weird.”
“Oh yeah I remember you said that, but you also said that she was about to reciprocate when you almost kissed, was she not?”
“I mean, yeah I think so, but she’s also been flirting with Joshua since he got here and he’s definitely been flirting back. What if I’m wrong and she wasn’t actually going to kiss me back?”
Soonyoung lets out a sigh behind Chan, watching as his younger friend visibly agonizes over his thoughts and self-doubt.
“Chan, listen, I’m going to be honest with you okay?”
“Why am I worried…”
“Because I’m about to tell you the truth!” Soonyoung waits for Chan to lock the studio door and turns to look at him. “You need to decide what you want to do. Either you’ll keep doing this weird will-they-won’t-they with her and not tell her how you feel and probably stress over her for the rest of your life or you tell her and see what happens. I know you’re worried about what she’ll say or how she’ll react, but is that better or worse than letting this eat you up forever?”
Chan scoffs, both options are terrible and he hates them equally, but at the same time, he really has to decide. Either option makes him uncomfortable and unhappy, but Soonyoung has a point, he’s just not sure which is the lesser of the two evils.
“I don’t know…”
“Well, I think you should think about it again and figure it out. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with flirting unless she actually becomes his girlfriend or something, right?”
Chan mumbles something that even he finds unintelligible, but Soonyoung doesn’t press him to repeat himself. They walk the short distance to the parking lot on the side of the studio and bid each other goodbye, Soonyoung wishing him luck again.
Chan spends the entire drive home in silence, weighing the pros and cons of telling you how he feels versus not telling you. He’s had this internal battle with himself since you moved in and it’s always the same in each category.
You may hate him. He’ll make living with you awkward. He’ll fuck up his friendship with Hansol.
All the same negative scenarios play on repeat. The only pro (and the biggest, to be clear), would be that you feel the same for him or you’ll at least want to give him a chance. For Chan, it comes down to how much of a risk he wants to take here.
He’s not much of a risk taker usually, but he also can’t help but tell himself that you’re more than worth the risk. If he can get over his fear of the cons that is.
Chan is still deep in thought when he gets home. When he walks into the apartment, he can hear you talking in your room. The dock for the cordless phone sits empty on the side table next to the couch which tells him you’re using it.
He doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, truly he doesn’t, but as he’s walking down the hall to his room, he overhears you mention Joshua’s name and the word ‘date.’ Chan freezes in his tracks, his heart beating rapidly at the implication. He knows he should go into his room and wait until you’re done to ask what the plan for dinner is.
Instead, he tiptoes to your room, the door ajar enough for him to listen without being seen.
“I’m not sure where he’s taking me. He didn’t say and I didn’t ask. I want to be surprised.” You chuckle and there’s a beat of silence as the person, who Chan assumes is Jinah, speaks. “I’m telling you, he looks so different now. Like, fuck I can’t even describe how good looking he is! And hello, he’s going to be a doctor!” More silence. “I mean, let’s not get crazy. We’re not eloping or anything, it’s just one date.” You stop talking before breaking out into a fit of laughter.
Chan takes this as his sign to slink away, trudging to his bedroom to wallow. He tries to remind himself that you don’t even know how he feels, he’s never even told you about his feelings, so what right does he have to be upset about this?
Absolutely none, logically speaking. That doesn’t make the twinge of pain in his chest feel any more bearable.
It’s ten minutes to six when you’re putting the finishing touches on your hair and fastening your jewelry. You called Joshua earlier in the day to let him know that your doctor gave you the okay to take off your brace and that your wrist is feeling much better. You also asked if you should wear anything special for tonight. He advised that you didn’t need anything fancy, just whatever makes you feel good and some comfortable shoes. To be safe, you were going with thermal leggings and a nice sweater to stay warm and comfy.
With your bag and boots in hand, you leave your room and head down the hallway, intending to wait in the living room. The apartment is quiet with Hansol out for the night and Chan presumably in his room. You haven’t seen him much since he got home from work last night. He took his pizza into his room to eat it and you only saw him briefly this morning when he was coming back from the gym. You want to ask him if he’s okay, but you can’t seem to get a moment with him to do so.
As you reach the end of the hallway, Chan rounds the corner suddenly and you both let out a yelp, running into each other.
“Shit, sorry!” Chan steadies you when your shoes and bag fall out of your hand along with the book that had been in his. He quickly bends down to pick up your things and gingerly hands them over to you.
“Thanks,” you smile at him, forcing your eyes up to his face and not down to the black tank top that hugs his torso.
“Of course,” Chan smiles back, neither of you moving. He’s blocking the entryway into the living room, you tell yourself, so he has to move first.
He doesn’t and instead looks above your head, chuckling nervously.
“Huh?” You look up and catch sight of the mistletoe hanging above your heads. Who the fuck even put that there?
The two of you look from the mistletoe to each other, and then back up again.
“You don’t have to,” Chan starts, his neck turning a deep shade of red.
“I - I mean you neither, if you don’t want to. But if you do, since you know it’s tradition or whatever, we can. Only if you want!” You’re stammering at this point, hand gripping the strap of your bag so hard your knuckles hurt.
Your mind goes back to the ice skating rink and the moment the two of you shared. Chan’s reaction now might just reaffirm your thoughts from that day, but you try not to get too emotionally attached as you wait for his next words.
He doesn’t say anything, and instead, he answers with his movements. He looks into your eyes, so intensely you feel yourself squirm under his gaze. He starts to lean forward then, his face coming closer and closer to yours.
There’s your answer.
Nothing comes from the moment though, when the doorbell rings, making both you and Chan spring apart with wide eyes. Clearing your throat, you apologize to Chan as you shuffle past him and into the living room.
“One minute!” You call out to the door, assuming it’s Joshua. You fish your compact out of your bag to give yourself one more once over before you rush to the door and sure enough, you see Joshua through the peephole.
“Hi. You look beautiful,” are the first words out of his mouth when he sees you, eyes sweeping over your frame appreciatively.
“Thank you. You look very handsome. And are those for me?” You gesture to the large bouquet in his hands and accept it when he holds it out to you.
“Thank you. And yes they are. I couldn’t just show up empty handed.” You thank him again and step back into the apartment to find somewhere to put your flowers. Chan is gone when you enter the living room again and you don’t see him as you find a vase in the kitchen and fill it with water, placing the bouquet in them before joining Joshua again and leaving with him.
Your date with Joshua is as normal as a date can get, but you don’t mind one bit. As he drives you to your destination, you fall into easy conversation as you ask him about his job. Right now, he’s working at his friend’s office until he’s done with school. Since he’s still getting his degree, he can’t legally do much medical wise, but he does volunteer at the hospital when he can to visit the kids and keep them company between surgeries and procedures.
He tells you stories from the hospital and you can tell just in the way he talks about the patients he’s spent time with that it’s something he really enjoys and is looking forward to doing full time. It’s admirable to see someone so in love with what they do and recall it in such a positive way. You know that when you recount stories from your time in the air and in different countries, it’s always with bittersweet words. There was so much you loved about being a flight attendant and so much you disliked, but Joshua talks about medicine with nothing but love.
Similar to how Chan speaks about dancing.
You push that thought away as soon as it conjures in your brain, refocusing back on your date.
Joshua takes you to a fancy looking Japanese restaurant and does everything right that you would expect. He makes sure to open your car door for you and the door of the restaurant. He pulls out your chair and tells you to order whatever you want, making it clear that he’ll be paying and brushing you off when you try to convince him to split the bill.
“Okay, Doctor Hong, you win. You’re more stubborn than me,” you joke after you both order.
He laughs, shrugging and making eye contact with you. “I asked you out, so I’ll pay. Simple as that. Maybe next time you can arrange the next date and you can pay.”
The idea of another date with Joshua hadn’t even crossed your mind. You’re comfortable with him and are enjoying talking with him and getting to know him more, but you feel like there’s something missing that you can’t quite put your finger on.
That feeling persists during dinner, even through the shared laughter and the jokes and it sticks when you’re back in the car after dessert. It lingers as you chat on the way to the second, secret destination he has on the itinerary.
When Joshua eventually parks on the curb of a neighborhood you don’t recognize, you see a bunch of other cars parked and can see bright lights in the distance.
“Where exactly are we?” You try to read street signs around but don’t recognize them. Joshua offers his hand as he opens your door and you hesitantly take it, letting him escort you out. He doesn’t let your hand go as you walk down the sidewalk and get closer to all of the lights.
“I know you’re really into Christmas and decorations so I wanted to take you here,” As you walk closer to the lights, you finally start to notice that they’re Christmas decorations. It’s a whole street of houses adorned with bright lights and flashy decorations. “There aren’t too many people who go all out with the decorations here, but I happened upon this street when I got lost once and they do this every year. It reminds me of the way people back home in L.A. decorate their houses for the holidays.”
You nod, eyes taking in a house with sparking blue and white lights wrapped around every inch of their house. “Yeah, whenever we had layovers or rest periods in the U.S. for the holidays it was nice to see all the decorations out there. It’s why I made Hansol and Chan decorate the apartment. It makes the holidays feel more fun for me.” You laugh, sticking the hand not in Joshua’s in your coat pocket. “I don’t know, maybe that’s silly.”
“It’s not,” he insists, squeezing your hand. “I think it’s very cute and sweet.” Looking over at him out of the corner of your eye, he smiles warmly at you. Joshua is so good at making you flustered it’s almost illegal.
You keep your hand in his as you walk down the sidewalk, pointing out different decorations and your favorite houses. There are other people around you taking in the decorations, all other couples from what you can see. There’s one house that you get to towards the end of the street that’s the most dramatic looking of all. Twinkling, multicolored lights cover the house and an army of snowmen litter the yard, all draped in winter clothes with lights on them as accessories. Various blow-up decorations dot the yard, one of them even playing instrumental versions of classic Christmas carols. Paired with the December snow on the ground, the yard resembles a true winter wonderland and for a moment, you just focus on that and not the fact that your brain keeps wanting you to imagine taking all of this in with Chan.
You’re so focused on the wonder in front of you that you don’t notice the way Joshua admires your profile, smiling at the way your eyes sparkle as you admire the lights and decorations. Joshua takes the moment, turning to you and placing his fingers under your chin to turn your head towards him. The gesture catches you off guard, as does the kiss he leans down to place on your lips.
Joshua’s lips are plush against yours and so incredibly soft. He almost doesn’t feel real. His lips move against yours and you reciprocate, but that earlier, nagging feeling you’ve had since the restaurant comes back. The insistence that something here is missing and it’s even louder now that Joshua is kissing you. It’s especially hard to enjoy kissing him when your mind only wants to focus on your second almost-kiss with Chan earlier. You yearn so badly to feel his lips on yours and daydream about if they feel as soft as they look. You also can’t help but wonder if kissing Chan would make you feel things like fireworks. That consideration alone makes you notice the severe lack of them now. Guilt occupies your mind along with your thoughts of Chan and you notice just how little you feel from kissing Joshua.
As if he feels it too, he pulls away slowly, eyes immediately scanning your face.
“Are you okay, Y/n?”
“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
“It’s just that, well I mean, you’ve seemed like your mind is only half here all night. I could feel it just now. Did I do something? I should’ve asked you before kissing you, I’m sorry.”
“No! No, Joshua it’s fine! You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise! You’re a great kisser anyway,” you mumble the last part, truly meaning it. Joshua chuckles and thanks you, but his expression gets serious again.
“I appreciate that and you are too, but I still feel like something is wrong.” He stares at you as if trying to read your mind and it makes you feel shy.
“It’s just…fuck, listen, Joshua, I have had a lot of fun tonight, okay? You’re easy to talk to and laugh with and I like hanging out with you, but I think maybe…there’s a spark between us that’s missing? I’m really sorry.” You gnaw on your bottom lip as you get your words out, worrying about how he’ll react.
Thankfully, he doesn’t make any indication that he’s upset at you. Instead, Joshua just nods and if anything, looks a little disappointed.
“Thank you for being honest with me. I’ve had a really fun time too. Even though I do genuinely like you, I’m not going to try and make you return my feelings. If you’re okay with it, I’d like to at least stay friends? I promise I can get over my crush.”
“Are you sure? I feel bad that I had you take me out like this and it was for nothing.”
“Hey, it wasn’t for nothing! I’m a little disappointed we can’t be more, but I still got to know you more. I mean it when I say let’s stay friends. It’s comfortable and nice hanging out with you. I promise I won’t make this weird. If you’re okay with it. Otherwise, when I take you home, I’ll drop you off and fuck off forever.”
You huff out a laugh, mostly in relief at how normal he’s taking your lack of interest. You study him for a moment, sincerity is easy to read in his expression.
Your shoulders relax as you nod, telling Joshua that you’ll gladly still be friends. This seems to put him at ease as well, letting out a sigh of relief. In your friendship travels, finding a dependable guy friend has been near impossible, so the idea of finally finding one means you can't just let the friendship slip away. You did genuinely enjoy spending time with him too.
You and Joshua finish the walk and any awkwardness you felt when the night started leaves now that the air is a bit clearer. Joshua doesn’t hold your hand, but he stays close and you appreciate that he genuinely meant he didn’t want you to feel weird around him.
After going around the block and taking a few selfies together (at Joshua’s request), you walk back to his car and he still holds the door open for you.
“What? Just because we’re friends this is still a date right?” He shoots you a smirk and you roll your eyes but laugh, nodding at his words. “Exactly. Now let’s get you home.”
Once back in the car, Joshua turns up the heat, both of you thawing as he starts the drive back to your apartment building.
At one point in your chatter as he takes you home, you compliment his gentlemanly behavior all night, telling him it’s honestly some of the most you’ve been wooed out of most other guys you’ve been with. Joshua frowns, citing how fucked up that is and how much guys fucking suck. You can’t help but laugh, noting that his level-headedness just adds to the fact that he’s the perfect guy for most women.
You voice this, adding: “If you’re still looking for someone special, my best friend just might fall in love with you if she meets you.” Joshua laughs, shooting you a brief look that you catch. “Yeah okay. I’ll tell her about you and let you know what she says.” You giggle.
“Sorry!” He winces, regretting his obvious expression. “Was that weird? Did I make it weird?”
“No, no! I don’t mind! I do think you’re a great guy and I love her and want her to be with a great guy. I don’t have a problem with you two going out. I’m just a little relieved to know you wanna talk to someone else so quickly. Makes me feel less bad about everything.”
“Hey, for real, don’t feel bad! I told you I’m going to be okay.”
“Ugh I know, I just feel bad because you paid for that fancy sushi and walked out in the cold and I’m curbing you.”
“Y/n, I’m not going to go home and write in my journal that you broke my heart. It was just a date, okay?”
Sighing, you finally accept his answer, deciding to let it drop, but still let him know you’re going to talk to Jinah about him.
“If you guys do go out and fall in love, try not to treat me like a third wheel, yeah?”
Chuckling, Joshua rolls his eyes at you as the car rolls to a stop at a red light. “She doesn’t even know my name yet, Y/n.”
“Yeah well, what I said still stands.”
“Whatever you say.”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Mmhmm.” Joshua shakes his head at you and your triumphant sounding rebuttal. “Just make sure you don’t forget about your friends whenever you find someone.”
Frowning, you shake your head. “Oh, absolutely not. I’ve never even entertained abandoning my friends for a relationship. I’ll divide my time evenly between you guys and Ch-” Your lips clamp together like your mouth has been sewn shut, halting your words immediately.
Unfortunately, Joshua catches it, his eyebrows raising so high they almost disappear into his hairline. “Us and who?”
“No one.”
“That's obviously a lie. You were totally about to say someone’s name.”
“Huh? What makes you think that?”
You hit another red light and Joshua fixes you with a blank expression. “Really? You’re not gonna tell me?”
“Hey, this is still a date, remember?! What kind of date would I be if I talked about another guy?”
Joshua narrows his eyes once more before focusing back on the road as he accelerates and drops it, a suspicious look still on his face. You steer the conversation back to Joshua, getting him to tell you about his family back home a little more. He surely knows you’re deflecting but he doesn’t press you further.
The conversation leads you right to a parking spot in your complex near the building entrance. Joshua, ever the gentleman, opens your door for you and walks you inside.
When reaching the third floor, Joshua walks you to the door. He pulls you into a hug, saying again that he had a good time hanging out with you regardless of the outcome. He says that he’ll look forward to your call about Jinah and about hanging out again soon.
Things with Joshua may not have gone as intended, but you’re grateful that he’s understanding and not mad at the fact that you ended up not being interested.
“I will, promise. Get home safe!”
“I will. Have a good night.” He waves at you as he starts to go, but turns quickly to look at you with a glint in his eyes. “And good luck with Chan.” He caps his sentence off with a wink and the moment leaves you flabbergasted. Did he just say Chan?!
“I - what about Chan?!” You can only hope you don’t look as panicked as you feel. Joshua doesn’t address your question, or what he said as he gets to the elevator, offering you a final wave and laughing as the door closes.
How the hell did he know that’s who you were talking about? You’ve never done anything to make someone think you like Chan, but clearly the response lets you know that maybe you’re not as good at hiding your feelings as you thought you were. Has Chan noticed anything from you that would clue him in on your feelings for him being more than platonic? If so, you can only hope Hansol has been too… Hansol to notice it himself.
Chan’s lost count of how many times he’s paced the living room. He keeps trying to sit or do something else other than obsess over you, but nothing seems to be working. All he can think about is you out on a date, having fun, and developing feelings for someone other than him. He even called out of work tonight, telling Soonyoung he wasn’t feeling well. It wasn’t a complete lie.
Seeing the way Joshua just swept in after so long and snatched you up, just-like-that, legitimately made his head and stomach hurt. Chan knows for sure he is absolutely in love with you and the other almost-kiss he nearly shared with you proves it. He still didn’t recall where the mistletoe came from, but because of it, even if it wasn’t the proper result, he’s not exactly complaining. Well, not about the fact that you very clearly almost kissed him back.
He just feels like an idiot because he let you leave and is watching you slip away from him again and this time it’s to one of his friends. A friend that has more guts than him to step up and ask you out and tell you that he’s into you.
Chan hasn’t been brave enough to approach you and finally, finally try asking you out. The time when he was fourteen didn’t count because he was still a kid and you never saw him as anything other than your little brother’s annoying best friend that followed you around. Of course, you wouldn't have ever gone out with him.
But it’s different now. You’re both adults and you’re closer than that already. You seem to actually enjoy spending time with Chan and being around him for the first time in the entire time that he has known you and maybe, just maybe, he’d have a real chance with you.
His own cowardice stopped him from speaking up and allowed his older, much more confident hyung to do what he’s been too afraid to. It fucking sucked.
After you left, the only thing he’s done is stay up and stare at the TV, jealousy chipping away at him. Jealous that Joshua got to you before he could do it. Jealousy eats him up so much that he can’t feel relaxed no matter what he does. So, the only thing he thinks to do is sit up and wait for you.
As you enter the apartment, you expect the room to be dark, but you’re surprised to instead see Chan pacing around the living room with the TV playing a commercial.
When he turns upon hearing the door, you both freeze, his expression reading a deer in headlights.
“Y/n.”
“Chan?”
“Y/n, you’re here.”
“Yeah, I’m here. Are you okay?”
His eyes are wide as he watches you slip your shoes off.
“Y/n,” he rushes over to you, grabbing your hands when you step into the room. The gesture is the most contact you’ve had in a week and it lights up all of your senses. He guides you into the room, but the two of you stay standing. “I have some stuff I want to say, okay? It might sound weird and you might hate me and I might fuck up everything, but I’m going to explode if I keep this to myself anymore.”
“Okay…” Your hesitance is obvious, but you don’t walk away to take your hands out of his hold, so he takes this as a sign to continue.
“I, fuck I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it, but Y/n, the truth is that I’m still in love with you. It’s different from when I was a dumb kid. That was me being captivated by my best friend’s big sister who was so much cooler and more mature than me and was the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. When you left for college and your career, it hurt, but I told myself to get over it. That it was just my first crush and first crushes eventually go away.
And I thought that was true until you moved back and I realized, ‘oh shit, I’m still into her,’ only now it’s worse because I got to know you, like really know you, and realized that you’re still that intelligent, mature, amazing girl, but now you’re a woman and you’re still the woman of my dreams. I’ve been trying so hard to show you that I still care for you without actually saying it because I was worried that you’d turn me down and I didn’t know if I could handle that, but seeing you go out with Joshua and potentially slip away from me for good again has been killing me all night and I can’t hold back anymore.
If you don’t like me back that is completely okay! I know Joshua hyung is handsome and smart and he’s going to be a doctor so like whatever, yeah I get it. I won’t make living with you weird at all! I’ll even steer clear of certain areas when you’re around if that makes you feel better. Just, you know, whatever you want. But okay, I’m done. Too many words.”
Chan wants the floor to open up right at this moment and swallow him given the way you’re looking at him. Wide-eyed and mouth in a firm line as you absorb his words.
“Dammit, Chan!”
“What?! Sorry! Fuck, I’m sorry I suck I-”
“Huh? No! I didn’t mean it like that! I said that because, well, I think that you succeeded in showing me how much you care for me because I’ve fallen for you over the past three months.” Chan’s eyes widen almost comically, but he doesn’t say anything. “ I tried to fight it given one, you’re my brother’s best friend, two we live together, and three, you’re younger than me and four, I just didn’t want to make things weird with all of us living together, but knowing you like me just makes me want to stop being so cautious.”
“Really?”
“Really. Spending time with you and getting to know you has only made me like you more. Being around you, spending time with you, talking with you, everything just feels so right when we’re together. It’s scary because I have never felt like this, but I want it. I want you, Chan. In every sense of the word.”
The shell shocked man across from you has to let your words sit in his brain for a bit before he fully registers what you’ve said. You like him too. You’ve fallen for him. Being with him feels right. You want him.
If this is a cruel dream, Chan would really appreciate it if he could wake up right now. He closes his eyes tightly, counting to three before opening again. Sure enough, you’re still standing in front of him, looking at him with expectant eyes, anticipating his next words.
“Sorry, I’m just letting this all sink in. I don’t think I thought you’d actually say you feel the same.”
You shrug, shooting him a small smile. “Me neither honestly. I thought for sure you had gotten over your crush on me and moved on to actual women who returned your feelings.”
“Me too, at first I mean. But like I said, just seeing you again had all of those feelings rushing back to me.”
“Well I’m extremely lucky then it seems.”
“So am I.” You both stand there, grinning at each other, unsure what to do next. You think about maybe kissing Chan, finally, but you wonder if that’s too fast and too presumptuous of you.
As if he can read your mind, Chan clears his throat, making eye contact for a few seconds before looking away and taking a breath.
“Y/n, can I kiss you?” He blurts out, but you still hear him.
“Please do!” You answer immediately, encouraged by the knowledge that he wants the same as you.
Chan doesn’t need to be told twice, immediately rushing over to you before you have too much time to think. Your back hits the wall in an effort to keep your weak knees from giving out. When Chan stops, right in front of you, you’re almost chest to chest. He’s so close that you feel the warmth that radiates from him.
His arm rests above your head, keeping you trapped, but leaving his other arm down, allowing you a way out if you wanted. Neither of you speak for a moment, both blinking at the other. You each need to decide what will happen next.
You both make that decision at the exact same time. Chan’s eyes stay locked on yours as he lowers his face. At the same time, your eyes flutter closed as you crane your neck up, allowing your lips to meet somewhere in the middle.
Your lips are still a little cold, Chan notes as your arms reach out in the tiny space between the two of you, and grasp the front of his t-shirt to pull him close, his body pressing you completely against the wall. He squeezes his eyes closed hard enough to hurt a few times in an effort to wake himself up from the dream that he feels like he’s having. He’s had more dreams than he can count about kissing you for as long as he can remember, so surely this is another one of those?
That thought is only sent away when your arms slip up his body and around his neck, fingers weaving into the sensitive hairs on the back of his neck and tugging. The action is like lightning through his body and helps keep him in the very real moment.
Kissing Chan feels the way that you think they describe in movies. They always describe it as feeling like the world around you fades away in a haze and your head feels fuzzy. All of the sounds you hear are like white noise or turn into muffled background noise. It’s cliché and something you don’t think you’ve ever felt until this moment. Kissing Chan feels right and you don’t think you ever want to kiss anyone else for a long time, if ever again.
His strong arms wrap around your waist as you melt into him, your lips moving together in perfect sync. Your hands move down to his biceps to steady yourself, fingers wrapping around as much of him as you can, which isn’t much but you try.
You stay like that longer than you think you can count. Both of you clinging to one another, making out against the wall like lovestruck, horny teenagers, even if that’s exactly what you feel like. Your heart hammers against your chest and your thighs squeeze together as the kiss ignites not only something in your chest, but in your panties too.
The kiss turns from soft and sentimental to heated quicker than either of you are brave enough to admit, but you’re not complaining. You’ve wanted each other for months (years for Chan) and are finally getting what you’ve dreamt of. Chan’s thick, muscled thigh wedges its way between yours. Your leggings may have been thick enough to avoid the cold, but they aren’t thick enough to keep you away from feeling him brush against your tender folds.
What sounds like a whimper slips out of you and gets swept away by Chan’s tongue and into his mouth. He swallows down sound after sound as he makes sure to nudge your pussy again and again and soon enough, you’re grinding down on him, sloppily riding his thigh as his lips stay connected to yours.
When you finally pull away, the first sound out of your mouth is a deep moan. Chan flexes his thigh in a way that tenses the muscles and he hits your clothed clit in the most delicious way.
“Fuck,” Chan pants as he holds your hips. His knee rests between your legs and against the wall to stay steady. You grind over Chan’s sweatpants again and with each sweet sound that slips out of your mouth, he feels himself getting painfully harder.
“Ch-Chan,” you manage out.
“Hmm?”
“I need more.”
“More? More what, baby girl?”
The pet name rolls off his tongue so easily, too easily, and your pussy throbs even harder. Riding his thigh feels fucking amazing and you know you can cum just like this, but you don’t want to just yet. You’d much rather cum around his cock. The playful part of you also wants him to be just as needy as you.
“More of you. Please, baby,” You lean up to place kisses on his neck. When you get to his jawline, you flatten your tongue right on the side of his chin, dragging it up his jaw, and landing on his ear lobe. Chan makes the prettiest, breathy whines as you tease him and it only makes you clench even more. When you stop and your teeth nibble on the shell of his ear, capping it off with a whisper of, “Please Channie,” Chan feels like he could explode, right then and there.
“Anything. Fucking anything for you” Chan mumbles his words before diving down to lavish your neck in kisses of his own, the tip of his tongue darting out occasionally to lap at your skin. He leaves sloppy kisses on your skin as he descends down to your chest, stopping briefly where your nipples sit behind layers of clothes.
He drops to his knees as he goes and doesn’t stop until he reaches your waist.
“Chan?” You’re surprised that this is how he wants you first. You expected him to finger you before anything, but he clearly wants to start elsewhere.
His hands move to grasp at your waistband, stopping before he actually undresses you. His eyes meet yours, fingertips meeting your bare skin underneath your sweater.
“Can I? I need to get my mouth on you so badly.”
“Fuck, yes. You better,” you demand in response, not even flinching at his request. The two of you easily slip your leggings and your panties down and off of you in one go.
Chan lifts one of your legs over his shoulder, pushing your thighs apart. His eyes widen at the sight of you bare and wet in front of him. His mouth waters at the glistening arousal he sees coating your lower lips and he almost gets lightheaded at the heady scent of you. Chan could die right here before even tasting you and even that would be okay with him.
“Chan, please I need you!” You beg, feeling self conscious under his stare. He doesn’t make you wait any longer and instantly dives between your folds, his tongue lapping at you harshly.
Your knees nearly buckle at the suction, a loud cry ringing out. He doesn’t hesitate at all, his tongue immediately plunging into your wet hole. Your head hits the wall with a thunk as Chan begins eating you out as if his life depended on it. He fucks you with his tongue with obvious vigor, his nose bumping into your clit with each turn of his head.
His hands cup your ass, pulling you closer to his face so he can reach deeper in you, damn near making out with your cunt. Chan grunts and groans into you as he slurps, the wet sounds echoing through the room.
“Fuck, Chan. Fuck you’re t-too fucking good,” Your fingers are in his hair again, knotting into his strands to hold his face against you. The action makes him dizzy, his cock painfully hard and begging to be released from the confines of his sweatpants.
When you cum, which isn’t very long from when he started devouring you, you think you almost pass out. Your vision whites out and your body feels like gelatin, almost falling forward. Chan keeps his grip on your ass, not stopping until you start to yank him away from your pussy.
“I am going to pass out if you keep eating me out like that!”
“Fucking hell, Y/n, you have no fucking idea how long I’ve wanted to taste you,” he’s breathless when he speaks, licking his lips in the most obscene manner.
“Did I live up to your expectations?” You tease, getting wet all over again as you observe the way his face glistens with your juices and his blown out pupils.
“You have no idea. But we’re not done yet, beautiful.”
Another simple pet name has you shivering and Chan notices, and he loves the way you react to him. He stands upright again and grabs your hand, lacing your fingers together as he leads you to his bedroom. When he gets you in the room he brings you to his bed, pushing you and watching you bounce gently on his quilt. You start to undress what you had left on, keeping your eyes trained on him as you pull your sweater over your head and unhook your bra, tossing it somewhere in the room.
This is just like so many wet dreams he’s had, but this time it’s real life and almost too good to be true.
“You gonna just stand there and ogle me or are you going to get naked and come over here and kiss me?” You tease him, widening your legs to make room for him.
Chan’s eyes are glued to your pussy, still wet and shining for him, and he all but tears his clothes from his body and scrambles onto the bed without another thought.
“Sorry,” he says between kisses. “I was just admiring the goddess waiting for me on my bed,” You’re ready to tease him again, but he cuts you off when he lowers his head and his mouth suctions around one of your nipples, sucking hard enough to make your back bow off of the bed.
Eager lips lavish over the sensitive bud as his hand finds its way between your legs. He circles your entrance with a finger and repeats the motion a few more times before kissing his way over to your other nipple to give it the same amount of attention.
“So pretty,” he mumbles against your skin. Your fingers tangle in his dark hair as he covers your chest in bites, licks, and kisses, his finger still teasing you.
As if sensing you about to complain, he finally lets your nipple go, kissing his way down your body until he’s face to face with your pussy again.
“Chan…” you sigh, feeling his tongue dart out to lick a stripe from your entrance to your clit. He takes the time to spend extra attention on your nub, stiffening his tongue and flicking at it at what feels like an inhumane speed.
Chan relishes the gorgeous sound of your cries for him, noises of pleasure mixed in with huffs of his name and whispers of curse words. He loves that these sounds are all for him and because of him. He already knew he’d get addicted to you if he ever was able to get you into his bed and this settles that. He needs to hear you like this for him until he passes away. Even then, he wants to be buried with a recording of your moans and whines.
He shifts on his stomach to get closer to your core and plunges his tongue into you, groaning at the taste of you on his tongue again. The angle allows him room to grind against his quilt, pretending that it’s you he’s rutting against. His eyes slip closed as your thighs do the same around his head and he loses himself as he eats you out with a sense of excitement that he doesn’t think he’s ever felt about anything else.
Chan moves as if he didn’t do the same thing not even ten minutes ago and he only serves in pushing you so much closer to the edge faster than the first time. You call this out to him, tugging at his hair and it only spurs him on. He burrows between your legs even further, letting out more determined grunts that you feel throughout your entire body.
“Ch-Chan, fuck, I’m cumming! Right there, right there - I - fuck!” Your hands keep Chan trapped as you let go, legs spasming as he keeps at it, happily lapping up your release that covers his chin.
Out of breath, your body sags against the bed and you pry your legs open to let him up. “Shit, Chan enough. Come up here and fuck me already.”
“Yes ma’am.” His face is covered in you and his use of yes ma’am sends molten heat up your spine and between your legs again.
He leans over to his nightstand to fish out a condom, but you stop him, shaking your head.
“I’m on the pill, just pull out?”
Your words could’ve very well been a spell with the way they make him dizzy, but he doesn’t question it and only breathes out a yes and positions himself between your legs.
“Are you okay? Tell me to stop at any time and I will, okay?” He checks your face to make sure you’re comfortable and when he sees you nod he starts to ease himself into you slowly.
When his bulbous tip slips in first, you’re instantly letting out small mewls that only intensify with each inch that Chan fills you with.
“Oh my fuck, Y/n, you feel incredible. Shit!” Chan grits his teeth as he takes his time entering you. When he’s finally filled you up to the hilt, he has to take a second and take a deep breath. He’s never felt so close to cumming this quickly since he was in high school. It’s embarrassing to admit, but you truly feel like nothing and no one he’s ever felt. Your soft velvet walls cradle him perfectly, clenching every now and again making him even weaker.
“Move, Channie,” you breathe out, lifting your hips a little to get him going. Chan sits up on his knees, wrapping your legs around his waist as he grabs a hold of your hips.
He starts slow as he fucks you, finding a pace that works for him. Once he gets it, which he does rather quickly, he’s relentless. His hips drive into yours at breakneck speed, balls hitting your ass which each thrust forward.
“Fuck, Y/n, baby, you feel like a fucking dream!” His compliment comes out high pitched as he says it, the sound of his hips slapping against yours almost drowning out his words, but you hear him.
“Yeah, fuck, you feel so good Channie. Fucking me so, so good!” Tears collect at the corners of your eyes as Chan bullies into you over and over again, shoving you further up the bed. “You’re such a good boy for m-me, aren’t you?”
Chan’s eyes cross at your praise, biting his lip so hard he nearly draws blood just to keep himself from bursting inside of you at that moment. He nods like a madman, taking deep breaths to push back his orgasm. He’s so terribly close, but he refuses to cum without you.
He pants above you, eyes darting between your fucked out expression with your eyes rolling back and mouth hanging open, your tits that bounce with each force of his body, to between your legs as he catches sight of himself disappearing into your heat. He catches sight of the white ring of arousal you coat around his dick and he feels himself getting closer and closer.
He’s dizzy with lust for you but still manages to check in with you, forcing out coherent words to ask how you’re doing. You reassure him you’re okay, praising him once again about how good he feels.
“H-harder, Channie. Fuck me harder!”
As with anything else Chan does for you, he doesn’t need you to ask twice as he readjusts his knees before leaning forward to bend at the waist, making sure your legs are still secure around his waist. He leans down, his hands on either side of your head as kisses you, the new angle allowing him to thrust into you at a harder pace.
“Just like that, Chan! Fuck me like that!” Your words tumble out of you in a garbled mess, but he hears you loud and clear. The sensation of your nails digging into his back as you hold him closer sends him into a frenzy as he continues his brutal pace. His new position also allows his pelvis to brush against your clit hard enough to send you over the edge all the way.
“I’m - Y/n, I’m so close. I’m -”
“Me too, Channie, me too. Want you to cum. Wanna see you and hear you,” you cry out, each word almost cut off with a moan.
When you cum, your mouth forms an ‘o’ shape and your eyes squeeze shut, stars erupting behind your lids as your body almost convulses underneath him. Your muscles hurt with how hard your body stiffens and your brain only focuses on the drag of Chan’s cock against your hyper-sensitive walls.
The sight alone and your chant of Chan’s name has him cumming next. He pulls out, desperately jerking himself off over you before he panics.
“Wh-where can I?”
“Anywhere, baby! Anywhere you want,” As soon as the last word leaves your lips, Chan yells out your name, his warm seed spurting out and landing on your stomach, some of it even hitting right under your breasts as he milks himself over your body. If you weren’t so tired you’d suck him off to overstimulate him, but for now, you just admire how stunning Chan looks. Skin flushed and chiseled jaw clenched as he empties himself onto your sweaty body.
As he cums, Chan tears up a little because holy shit you’re the best feeling he’s ever felt, and being inside of you is like an out of body experience. He’s no virgin, but this is the first time he’s slept with someone who he has such a strong emotional connection with. It’s the best thing he’s ever experienced in his life, he thinks.
Once he’s released everything he possibly can, Chan rolls off of you and flops next to your spent body.
“Holy shit,” you mumble, taking a deep breath. “I think my soul has officially left the building.”
“Oh, I know mine is gone. It was gone the moment you let me kiss you.” Giggling, you glance over at Chan who’s already looking at you.
“I’ll always let you kiss me now. How can I not?” Chan grins wide enough at you that you think his mouth should probably hurt. The thought makes you breathe out a laugh.
Chan tilts his head at you. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. Just admiring how cute you are,” As if not expecting that answer, Chan gets a little shy, eyes looking away from you as you see the tips of his ears reddening. You can’t help but lean up and place a kiss on his ear and he jumps at the light peck. “Come on, cutie. Let’s get cleaned up and ready for bed. You can sleep in my room tonight and we’ll wash your sheets tomorrow. Sound good?”
Chan nods so aggressively, that you almost question how his neck is feeling. He reaches for his tissues on the side table and wipes the cooling cum from your body. He then helps you up from the bed and tosses you one of his towels, wrapping one around his waist.
When you have the towel covering yourself, you both step into the hallway only to freeze when seeing Hansol coming down the hall, and he stops too. He takes notice of the two of you, standing there holding towels over yourselves, and lets out a laugh. He takes his headphones off and lets them drape about his neck, the sound of “All the Small Things” filling the silence between the three of you.
“I take it the mistletoe worked?”
You and Chan share an incredulous look before turning back to your brother.
“You put the mistletoe up?!” You gasp. You had just accepted the fact that you put it up and forgot, but it’s nice to know you aren't going completely insane.
“Well, it was Soonyoung’s idea. He called earlier and told me to put it up somewhere both of you would end up. I wasn’t sure at first, but it looks like it worked.”
“I mean…kind of. But I have so many questions.”
“Ask them later. I’ve been home for a little while but didn’t wanna come into the hallway and uh, interrupt.” Hansol frowns and continues on to his room. Your brother halts his steps before going in and fixes you both with a look. “Oh, and I only have two things to say. One, Chan, if you hurt my sister I will kick your ass. And I’m telling Cheol hyung,” Chan lets out a small squeak and salutes Hansol, promising he’ll treat you like a queen. Hansol nods and then continues. “And two, can y’all like, I don’t know, leave a sock or something on your doors when you’re gonna do this? I came in and heard some noises I never want to hear my sister and best friend making ever again so just give me a chance to put my headphones on.”
“Ugh, sorry,” you grunt, your face heating up in mortification.
“Yeah, yeah whatever. Glad you guys can stop trying but failing not to flirt in front of me. Now goodnight and please keep it down for the night, I’m begging you.”
You and Chan promise your brother that you’ll be considerate and he thanks you before shuffling into his room for the night.
“He took that better than expected,” you observe as you and Chan move into the bathroom.
“Yeah. Honestly, I was expecting him either to be grossed out or do something very out of character and hit me or something.”
You snort, turning on the shower water and hanging up the towel you’ve been holding against your body. “Hansol hasn’t swung on anyone or anything since he was at least seven and that was at our old neighbor’s bird because it tried to land on his head.”
Chan cackles at the thought, but it’s quickly replaced with a low sigh as he watches you tuck your hair into a shower cap to keep it from getting wet. Watching you stand in front of him, naked and just existing comfortably makes both his heart beat out of his chest and his dick uncomfortably hard.
You at least can notice the latter, eyes playfully observing his length between his legs. “Someone has an impressive bounce back period.”
“I can’t help it. I have a beautiful, sexy woman standing naked in front of me. What do you want me to do?”
The bathroom isn’t that big so when you brush past Chan, it’s not hard to brush against him. Your thigh grazes his erection and he groans louder than intended, slapping his hand over his mouth when the sound comes out. You can’t help but giggle as you slip into the shower watching him still stand there and gawk at you.
“What you can do is, come join me in this shower and fuck me against this wall, but only if you can be way quieter than you just were.”
The sentence doesn’t even have a chance to finish completely before Chan is practically leaping into the shower, body crowding yours against the tile wall.
“Anything for you, Y/n.” He peppers your neck and shoulder with kisses, biting the skin as he goes.
“Mmm, you have got to stop saying that to me, Channie. You’ll spoil me.”
Chan pulls away, eyes meeting yours with the most serious expression you’ve seen from him since he confessed his feelings for you earlier this evening.
“Good. I want to spoil you and I will until I physically can’t anymore.” Chan rests his forehead against yours, taking a moment to enjoy being close to you as the shower water warms your skin.
“Only if you let me do the same to you, baby.” His eyes flutter at the pet name and you love the way it seems to make his skin flush more.
“Thank you, Y/n.”
“For what?”
“I don’t know, existing? Making me the luckiest man in the world? All of the above?” It’s your turn to get sheepish at his words, playfully pushing against his firm chest.
“Thank you, Chan. You treat me differently from so many other people I’ve been with and you make me feel special.” You hope he understands just how true your words are. The way he’s treated you since you moved in has been with nothing but care and affection, even before knowing he still likes you. Chan is a truly amazing guy and you consider yourself lucky that he wants you in his life like this.
“You are special and you should feel that way. I’ll make sure to keep doing it. And I’ll make sure you feel amazing and special in every way.” Warm hands slide down your body and slip between your legs to rub gentle circles against your clit. The whiplash from the tender moment to the not-so-tender startles you for only a moment before it’s replaced with want as Chan works you up.
Chan’s dancer hips are something to be studied and worshiped with the way in which he drills into you under the spray. You had teased him with being quiet, but you’re the one that needs to sink your teeth into the thick skin of his shoulder to stop from yelling his name.
He laughs between thrusts, but when you clench around him in retaliation, his pace falters and he pouts down at you. You kiss his pout away, keeping your lips together as you both cum, swallowing the possible noise complaints you’d have received otherwise.
Even if Hansol had lectured you both about your noise level, it’d be worth it, especially when you see the blissful look on Chan’s face as he gazes at you. Eyes full of wonder, tiredness, and above all else, love. Even though it hasn’t been long at all, you’ll be surprised if he can’t see the same shining back up at him.
Time seems to fly by, and Christmas suddenly creeps up on you. Thankfully, you finish your shopping before the last minute and get everything you need to, done. You and Chan spend the time leading up to it doing as many cute, coupley things that you can think of while Hansol does his best to not be a third wheel. He rarely ever is, but you’re thankful for the support from your brother nonetheless.
On Christmas morning, Chan is up first, already wide awake and looking at you when you open your eyes. It’s cute if not a little surprising at first. He at least lets you brush your teeth and make yourself decent before ushering you into the hallway. He knocks loudly on Hansol’s door as he passes, telling him it’s time for presents.
His excitement is incredibly endearing and it warms your heart to see him so eager to sit you down on the couch and present you with your first gift from under the Christmas tree. The first box is a small square, secured with a red sparkly ribbon. When you take the lid off, a CD looks back at you in a red, jewel tone case. You smile as you take it out and turn it over, seeing a note on the back along with the tracklist.
Songs for the only woman who’s ever owned my heart.
Merry Christmas, Y/n.
Love, Your Channie
Tears prick your eyes at the gesture. It’s a small gift, but it’s personal. You don’t think you’ve had anyone make you a mixtape and yet again, it just proves how sweet Lee Chan is.
“Thank you Channie,” you pucker your lips and he eagerly leans down to kiss you, almost tripping into your lap in the process. “Oh!” He jumps up, running back to the tree for another box, this one wrapped in white ribbons. Inside is another rectangle box, but in that is the gift.
“Chan?!”
“You like it?” He asks, taking the bracelet out of the box before you can answer. He gestures to your wrist and you present it, letting him clip the shiny, diamond tennis bracelet. “The sales lady said they’re really popular for the “special ladies in your life” this year and I thought you’d like it since you like pretty jewelry.” You give Chan a watery smile, stopping yourself again from nearly crying. Instead, you get up and pull him into a hug, squeezing his waist hard.
“I love it, thank you Chan,” When you pull away, it’s your turn to go to the tree to retrieve his gifts.
“But I’ve already gotten the greatest gift I’ve ever wanted in my life,” he gestures to you with a flourish, making you roll your eyes.
“Oh yeah? Guess that means I should return these presents then huh?” You dangle both boxes in the air, raising an eyebrow.
“I mean…you already bought them and wrapped them though so you may as well just…” he makes grabby hands at the boxes and you can’t help but laugh, handing over both gifts to him.
The first one he opens has a shiny silver watch in it that you saw in the mall with Jinah weeks ago and thought of him. It’s your turn to help him as you put it on his wrist, both of you admiring it. He mentions that it’s the nicest watch he’s ever owned and that he’ll never take it off.
When he gets to the other small box, he opens it to see an envelope sitting in the middle of the tissue paper. Curiously, Chan opens it pulling out what’s inside and he nearly passes out.
“Michael Jackson tickets?!”
“Yeah! I heard people at work talk about it like two months ago. He’s going to be in Seoul this summer! I was getting them for you whether we ended up together or not because I know how much you love him. You deserve it!” You beam at him and watch as tears well in his eyes this time. “Aw, Channie!”
Chan jumps from the couch to pull you into a bear hug at the same time that Hansol comes into the living room.
“Hyung, I have to tell you now, but I’m going to marry your sister,” he says in a serious tone.
“Chan!” Laughing, you squeeze his arms, trying to wriggle from his grasp.
“Fine as long as you still stick by my rules.”
“Hansol!” Both men purposely ignore you as they discuss your fictional wedding and Chan brags about his concert tickets. The whole moment fills you with an indescribable warmth, even when Chan finally releases you and lets you sit on the couch.
You didn’t anticipate that you’d end up here when you first thought about leaving your career, but you’re glad you did. You wouldn’t want to be anywhere else other than here on Christmas with your two favorite men.
“The ball is going to drop soon!” Seungkwan announces to your group. He turns the volume of the TV up as the countdown shows on the screen.
It’s New Year’s Eve and your large group of friends is huddled in Jinah’s living room to ring in the New Year. You hadn’t known where you’d be ringing in the year 2000 initially and had anticipated it’d be at home, but with Jinah and Joshua dating and being almost inseparable for the last two weeks, she found herself hanging around the rest of the guys as much as you have and since her apartment is the biggest, she had everyone come here.
You’re sitting next to Chan on her couch as you pull your drinks closer. Seungkwan and his partner sit together holding hands, nervously checking the clock on the wall and looking back at the TV. The two of them, Seokmin, and one of their other friends named Mingyu all found out about Y2K around the same time and have been preparing for it leading up to tonight. No matter how many times you, Hansol, and Joshua try to tell them you’ll all be fine, you let the group of conspiracy theorists have their beliefs, knowing once the new year rolls in, they’ll be fine.
Chan often makes fun of them, but you also never miss the way his eyes widen when they talk about the computers exploding and the world ending.
“Three…two…one, happy new year!” Everyone’s voices echo throughout the room as you count down to the new year together, noisemakers and cheers following.
Chan turns towards you, his lips meeting yours as you share your first kiss of the new year. His hands cradle your face, tilting your head back just the slightest to deepen the short yet sensual kiss.
“Happy New Year, Y/n.” He says against your lips.
“Happy New Year, Chan.”
Around the room, the rest of your friends are pouring more champagne and you catch sight of Seungkwan and his partner still sharing their New Year’s kiss, both smiling, likely in relief. Joshua and Jinah are on the other side of the room, her head resting on his shoulder as they watch the fireworks on TV. Chan redirects your attention back to him to kiss you once more, this one quicker yet just as sweet.
And just like that the world doesn’t end, much to Seokmin, Mingyu, Seungkwan’s (and Chan’s) relief, but your new world with Chan in it has just begun. You’re looking forward to what the new millennia and life with Chan will bring.
Net tags: @kflixnet @kbookshelf | Taglist: @aaniag
#svthub#kflixnet#wkcnet#kwritersworldnet#kbookshelf#k-labels#dino smut#lee chan smut#dino fluff#lee chan fluff#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#dino x reader#lee chan x reader#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#dino fanfic#lee chan fanfic#kvanity#ksmutsociety#now that's 90s collab
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𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔 | chap 13
SYPNOSIS: wherein Hwang Stella's life is tangled in a predicament involving her clandestine identity as a racer, her seemingly daily life as the official heir to the Hwang Empire, and seven guys with whom she has a complex history with.
PAIRING: enhypen members x fem oc.
GENRE: 18+ (mdni), reverse harem, chaebols, semi-college & racing, eventual adulthood, non-idol au, eventual enha being f1 drivers, multiple pov (this fic is written in first pov).
WARNINGS: expletives, angst, heartbreaks, drama.
WORD COUNT: 10k+
FEATURING: ITZY Yeji, LE SSERAFIM Yunjin, STRAY KIDZ Hyunjin
TAGLIST: @aishigrey @kgneptun
🍒MASTERLIST🍒
Four years ago, I never would have thought that the trajectory of my life would change drastically. The twenty-two-year-old me never would have thought that the shackles that chained her to the ground for years would be destroyed. Hence, allowing her to finally be free, as she was no longer tethered to the environment that often brought calamities throughout her life.
I, Hwang Stella, am no longer the heir to the forsaken empire, and no longer do I reside in Seoul.
New York is the place where I chose to start my life. However, I can't say that the beginning of my new journey here was easy.
After I miraculously recovered from fatal injuries and woke up from a coma a month later, Yeji was there beside the hospital bed. Her eyes were red and full of tears. Yeji read the news article about the major incident that happened in Seoul, and the details included Rena being an attempted murderer as well as Minhyuk having blood stained on his hands for years. Thus the downfall of the Hwang empire.
And so, I made a firm decision that I would move to New York. Yeji was more than glad to hear that, and she welcomed me into her home, where she was also living with her fiancé. But even as I had recovered, my mental health was ailing.
At that point in time, my past was catching up to me, taunting me in my slumber and even as I went about my day. The major incident that happened four years ago, and my past when the people I thought were family─ they had scarred me for life, and I've become traumatised by them.
I was mentally ill, always screaming and sobbing in my sleep, and would often have mental breakdowns at any time of the day. There were days when I couldn't physically do anything. Yeji and her fiancé─who I've eventually become close with and regard as an older brother─were more than worried about me and decided to bring me to therapy sessions where I used to attend daily.
As I recall, a grimace covers my face. To say the beginning of my new chapter here was bad is an understatement. I can't even imagine how my illness must have affected Yeji and her fiancé.
The drought was the very worst, then came the rain pouring down with storms, but eventually the dreary skies turned blue with streaks of sunlight peeking through the clouds, and flowers bloomed.
As the years passed, I'd become better. I've learned to embrace each scar, be it a physical or mental scar. As my therapist had told me, I must change my perspective on the ugly scars I bear and instead embrace them, as they are proof that I am a survivor.
No longer was I affected or traumatised badly by the scars that will forever imprint inside of me. No longer do I look at these ugly scars with such disgust and feel begrimed.
I was finally clean.
"Stella! Over here!"
As soon as I enter the two-story cafe establishment, my ears perk up at the sound of a familiar voice I haven't heard since her schedule was packed for the last two weeks. My gaze settles on two figures from afar, with both their heads turning to me.
Arriving at their table, I am startled when she embraces me in a hug—a tight hug at that. I groan. "Aera, it's only been two weeks."
Aera, the girl whom I can call my best friend and sister. Four years ago, Aera made a firm decision to follow me. According to her, she could do whatever the hell she wanted since her family had disowned her. Yeji welcomed Aera and had her live in their penthouse too.
Since Aera and I were living together, she had seen the worst and ugly side of me, but she stayed throughout, and most of the nights when I couldn't sleep, Aera would be by my side all night despite the fact that she would have classes in the morning the next day.
Four years ago, Aera decided to enrol herself in the Parsons School of Design, as she had always dreamed of becoming a fashion designer. Now, as she has officially become one and is currently working for the same company as Yeji.
As for me, I had some thoughts on becoming an F1 driver as I've always been a huge fan since I was young, but I couldn't. I couldn't even race like I used to, because the word race itself would remind me of them. So, instead, I enrolled in a private school and continued to study.
Hence, I am now an external travel manager in the F1 industry and have been for about six months now. The responsibilities and work itself are tougher than expected, but I stayed resilient. Yes, it's tough, but I love what I'm doing.
Aera pulls her newly dark raven hair into a high ponytail. "So, any juicy news?" She asks us with her eyebrows wiggling before she looks at the person who is seated across from me. "Jen! You're always the one with juicy news! Anything to share?"
My eyes shift to the gorgeous red hair, and as our eyes meet, I immediately look down at the drink on the table.
Huh Yunjin, or rather, Jennifer, is a year older than Aera and I, but we get along well with her. I first met Jennifer when I enrolled in the private school here, where she was one of my peers. As we got closer, she had become a close friend of mine, and I decided to introduce her to Aera. Now, they're even closer than Jen and I were.
Well, probably because I had a one-night stand with her. Even till now, I can't seem to look at her straight in the eyes without feeling embarrassed. Jennifer is a gorgeous yet intellectual woman. She is also the daughter of one of the bosses in the F1 industry. She even had admirers, but she rejected them.
We used to be close until the one-night stand happened just three months ago. We were drinking at her apartment, talking about our first kisses and boyfriends, and laughing without a care, but then came this unexplainable tension and the shift in the atmosphere. Before we knew it, clothes were discarded, and we were in her bed.
Jen even assured me that it changed nothing about our friendship, but why does it feel like it has?
"I went on a blind date recently." Jennifer starts off, her eyes no longer on mine. "It was my mom's idea. He turned out to be a misogyny asshole."
"Isn't that your third blind date?" Aera chuckles.
"Fifth." Jennifer corrects her as she rolls her eyes. "The woman just won't give up that I'm not into relationships."
"Actually, I have something to share." I speak up as soon as I remember. "You guys remember Henry? He informed me recently that he managed to find my brother." I sigh. "He's here, in New York."
Both Aera and Jennifer soften their gazes as they look at me. They know about my attempts to search for my brother. As for my uncle, who turns out to be my biological father, I already know he's here as well, but I don't have the guts to meet him yet. Mostly because I'm not ready and I know that I will burst out everything at him. Even though the reasons were valid, he could've told me in the beginning, and I'd do anything to keep his secret safe.
When Yeji found out about the revelation, she cried and hugged me, assuring me that I was still her baby sister despite having different fathers. I wonder if my older brother would feel the same way.
"Well, when will you officially meet him?" Jennifer asks me softly, and I find myself being able to withstand our eye contact.
I bite my lip. "I'm thinking of visiting his workplace at the New York Performing Arts Academy on Friday."
"He's a teacher there?" Aera asks, her eyes widening.
"Not exactly. According to Henry, Hyunjin works as a dance director and a professional dancer who has won many competitions." I tell them with a small smile on my face, as I feel proud of him. "He would share his knowledge and teach the students whenever the academy needed him to come down."
"So, how are you feeling?" Jennifer prods, her eyes appear to be examining my face.
"I honestly don't know." I sigh. "Sure, I'm relieved, but I feel a little hurt because he didn't bother to search for Yeji and me, even though it's been many years. He could've at least found some ways to contact me."
Aera pats my back in a comforting manner. "Maybe he had his reasons."
"Maybe." I smile weakly. "But whatever. What's done is done. I'll meet him on Friday."
Jennifer raises her eyebrow at me. "You mean you'll be surprising him with your unexpected appearance?"
I chuckle. "That works as well."
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
"Sure, I'll send in the report by tomorrow." I inform one of my bosses on the phone before I end the call. He had just informed me about the upcoming Grand Prix in Brooklyn that will happen this year, where all of the F1 teams will be participating.
Presently, I'm at the art museum. I don't know why I'm here, but something just tells me that I need to be here. As I appreciate the beautiful, intricate masterpieces in my view, my mind begins to drift towards certain individuals.
My lips flatten. Although I have officially cut ties with them, I know for a fact that my heart refuses to move on from them. Heck, I even asked Henry if there was any news about them just months ago. All he got was that they had separated as well.
My heart begins to ache. Cutting ties with them is for the best. Some of them have been gravely hurt by the major incident, all because they wanted to save me. I didn't want to bring more misfortunes into their lives, and so I left. Besides, they are better off without me.
"This origami architecture is beautifully intricate with such precision, isn't it?"
My heart beats with uneven momentum while I freeze in my spot. It is as if I have been paralysed. The sound of his voice must be my imagination. But the moment I feel warmth radiating from his body at my side, I know that I'm not imagining things.
As I turn my head, my eyes are trained at his side profile, which still looks divine as ever. His hair, which used to be blonde, is now jet black, making him appear more handsome than ever. He is decked out in an all-black fit, the blouse of his sleeves pulled until his elbows, revealing his golden wristwatch.
He probably knows that I'm staring at him, but his eyes are still fixated on the origami architecture. "I had no idea you were into the arts." He says calmly.
"Jay." I finally release the breath I have been holding.
He turns his head and meets my eyes. When a small yet gentle smile touches his lips, I can feel myself slowly crumbling on the inside.
"Stella." He greets me. Such longing and sadness reside in his gaze, which makes my heart ache once more. "I'm glad to see you're doing well and healthy after all these years."
Guilt washes over me like a tidal wave. When I said that I officially cut ties with them, it meant that I left them behind without any closure and disappeared without any traces of me left behind. All because I was a coward.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, my voice sounding shaky.
"Don't worry. I didn't stalk you or anything. I just happened to be here and spotted you. I'm here in New York solely because of business." Jay says politely, almost too formal, as though I'm one of his business associates.
"Oh," is all I can manage. I swallow down a painful lump while the backs of my eyes start to burn. I manage to give him a smile despite my quivering lips. "Welcome to New York. I hope you have a wonderful time here, Jay."
"Thank you." Jay's smile doesn't falter.
I can't stay here any longer. Seeing Jay again hurts me more than it should, especially when they probably felt hurt and angry at me for disappearing.
"I have to go. Goodbye, Jay." I look away from him before walking away in a brisk manner. I feel my fingers trembling while my throat is starting to hurt. Alas, a teardrop has fallen from the corner of my eye.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
eeing Jay yesterday brought back memories I had buried deep. Because of his unexpected appearance, I was completely distraught that I had forgotten about something. As Jay mentioned that he's solely here for business, it means that he's here for the Grand Prix in Brooklyn.
How could I have forgotten that he's an F1 driver? If he's here in New York, then that means so are the rest of them. I have totally forgotten about them being F1 drivers, albeit on different teams.
After I entered the F1 industry and began working as an external travel manager for different teams, that was when I discovered them to be official F1 drivers. I was fortunate that I didn't work directly with them, but it's enough to knock the air out of me. Especially when they looked good in their gearing suits and were considered esteemed drivers.
"Shit." I groan, rubbing my tired face. Since I'll also be involved in the Grand Prix, there's a high chance that I might bump into any of them.
My phone chimes on the table, prompting me to glance down to see a notification.
JEN: Hey, are you free tonight? I was thinking of inviting you and Aera to dinner at my crib.
Just as I'm about to reply to her text, my ears perk up at a familiar voice. "An iced Americano for takeaway."
I whip my head to the side. My eyes trained on his back, which is draped with a beige coat, facing me. I recognise those broad shoulders of his. He looks taller than I remember.
I immediately turn around as soon as he receives his order. I hold my breath as I see him walking away from my peripheral vision. I don't know what to feel. Do I feel happy? Sad? Mad? Because the last time we talked was on the night of that gala four years ago.
Stella, don't.
But I ignore my better instinct as I grab my coat and quickly make my way out of the cafe. My eyes scan this crowd of people by the street, and then I manage to spot his figure from afar. I don't waste time and start chasing after him.
I know I shouldn't, but my heart stubbornly wants to know about what he's been doing and how he's doing. Is he already married? If he is, then does he have a child?
Thankfully, there are not many people by the time I'm getting closer to him. I pant heavily as I stop with both hands on my knees. "Jungwon!"
He visibly flinches as he stops dead in his tracks. I can only hope for the best that he won't ignore me. He doesn't disappoint when he turns around, but I'm too stunned to see how mature he looks compared to four years ago.
"Stella." He utters my name in shock.
Despite my heart aching terribly while my mind recalls the night we talked, I manage a smile—a nervous one at that. "What are you doing here?" I already know why he's here, but I needed to start a conversation.
Jungwon visibly gulps. "What are you doing here?" He counters, and I can't help but to discern how his voice sounds a little deeper.
"I live here." I tell him, my voice coming out soft. "I've been living here for four years."
"Oh," He appears to be deflated, but his face remains stoic. "I'm here for business."
"I'm glad to see you again." My eyes glance down at his fingers, noticing how empty they are. "How's marriage life?" I ask awkwardly.
Jungwon looks away from me. "I didn't." His voice is barely above a whisper.
My face contorts into confusion. "You didn't?"
I see the way his jaw clenches. "I broke off the engagement. A lot of things happened in my life, Stella." He tells me with a deep sigh before he takes a step back, looking at me with eyes that hold such inexplicable emotions. "I have to go."
"Okay." But he doesn't hear my reply as he proceeds to walk away, leaving me in the cold just as he did before.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
I am finally meeting my older brother for the first time in years. With each step I take as the academy's secretary assists me in the classroom where he is presently teaching his students, my heart pulsates, and there is a certain ambivalence about my feelings towards him.
I'm not certain how I'll react once I see him, but I know for a fact that there will be tears. Finally, the secretary pushes open the door to where there is more than one massive dance room arrayed by the hallway.
"His class is ending soon. You may wait for him here." The secretary informs me with a smile. I thank her before she proceeds to head back. As I turn my head, I spot various students inside the dance room through the acoustic glasses. My eyes finally shift to him, and I feel a pinch in my chest.
Professionalism masks his face as he teaches his students with exceptional dancing skills, but I can discern how happy he is, as if he was always meant to be what he is now. I continue to watch in silence without realising how close I am to shedding a tear.
Not too long later, the door swings open with students exiting the dance room with sweats trickling down their skin, but there are smiles on their faces as well as the chortles emitting from them.
I wait patiently at the side until he finally exits the dance room. With his back on mine, I quickly jog towards him. "Hyunjin Oppa."
Hyunjin freezes, as though hearing my voice sends him a whiplash. He slowly turns around and meets my eyes. The way he is staring at me is as if he doesn't believe that I'm real.
"After years of no contact with me, is silence all you can afford?" I force out a laugh while my chest feels constrained and my eyes are starting to sting with tears.
"Stella." He utters my name, and his face looks torn, as though seeing me hurts him. "I'm sorry."
Instead of feeling aggrieved towards him for abandoning me even though I knew that he didn't have a choice, I feel sorrowful. He left when I was only fifteen, and he had missed out on a lot, including not being able to watch me grow up. All because we were unfortunate to have fucked up parents.
Hyunjin's eyes appear to be assessing me before a small smile touches his lips, despite the sadness in his eyes. "My baby sister is all grown up."
I hold myself back from bursting into waterworks while a sad chuckle leaves my lips. "I'm not your baby sister, at least that's what I thought four years ago."
"What do you mean that you're not my baby sis? You are." Hyunjin steps forward and doesn't hesitate to place his hands on my shoulders. Tears glisten in his eyes. "I'm truly sorry for abandoning you. I had my own problems to deal with, and a lot has happened throughout those years."
"Yeah, a lot has happened, including the fact that I found out about the truth behind my birth." My voice shakes. "I'm not Minhyuk's biological daughter. Mother cheated on Minhyuk with Minjun."
Oddly, Hyunjin doesn't seem surprised. A sigh leaves his lips. "I know."
My heart drops. "You knew? When?"
"Since you've managed to find me, you probably must've found out about Uncle Minjun living here in New York as well. A year after I was disowned, Uncle Minjun brought me with him to move to New York." He explains, though he looks sorrowful. "He took care of me and supported my dreams until I managed to sustain myself after I achieved what I've always wanted. When I turned 18, that was when he revealed the truth to me."
A fallen tear trickles down my cheek. "Do you still see me as your little sister? Do you still love me the same after learning that I'm the result of Mother's infidelity?"
Hyunjin takes me by surprise when he pulls me into his embrace. The familiarity of the comfort and warmth of his arms hits me, and alas, I break down, clinging onto him as I weep. The long-awaited hug from my older brother was desperately needed.
"I promise you that nothing changes. Even if we have different fathers, you are still my baby sister." Hyunjin speaks softly beside my ear as he allows me to cry into his arms. "I'm so, so sorry for leaving you and Yeji behind."
I don't respond, and instead, I remain in his arms, feeling thousands of emotions pouring down on me.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
"Are you absolutely sure that it's okay for me to crash to this dinner?" I ask Hyunjin as I unbuckle my seatbelt. "What if Uncle gets a heart attack once he sees me?"
Earlier, Hyunjin and I decided to catch up on what we've missed in each other's lives, and to say a lot would be an understatement. Apparently, Hyunjin and Minjun knew about the major incident I was in, and he told me that they wanted to fly over to see me to know if I was fine, but due to unforeseen circumstances, they couldn't.
As for me, I informed him of everything, which included Minhyuk's abuse, Rena being an attempted murderer, and the fact that I used to race. I even told him about my career, to which he was happy for me as he knew that being the heir was never what I truly wanted. The only exclusion on my part is about a certain bunch of individuals.
Hyunjin turns off the ignition of his vehicle. "It's fine. Besides, aren't you family as well?"
I turn downcast. "But it's been years. He even has a wife and a daughter."
"And he's your biological father." Hyunjin counters firmly. "You know that you don't have to call him uncle anymore."
"I know, but it feels weird." I sigh exasperatedly. "Throughout my whole life, I thought he was my uncle, but then came the revelation. It feels weird to call him 'Dad'."
"You'll probably get used to it." Hyunjin ruffles my hair. "Now, come. We're thirty minutes late to dinner."
Soon, we've arrived at the porch, with me taking my time to observe the two-story modern architecture. Something stirs within me. His house looks cosy and homely. It's difficult to describe, but from the way I discern it, this house is most likely filled with a lot of love and a healthy environment.
As soon as Hyunjin presses the doorbell, we hear rushed footsteps before the door swings open, revealing a little girl who looks about eight, smiling widely at Hyunjin. "Oppa! You're here!" But then her eyes trail behind him before they settle on my face. Her smile falters. "Oppa, who is she?"
Hyunjin darts his eyes between us before he bends down to her height with a small smile. "Her name is Stella." Then he looks at me. "Stella, this is Sophia."
"Stella?" She tilts her head, examining me briefly before looking at Hyujin with a grin. "You mean, like a star?"
Hyunjin chuckles. "Yes, sweetie. She's like a star."
"A beautiful one!" Sophia's gleeful disposition brings a smile to my face. She takes me by surprise when she steps forward and takes my hand. "Stella Unnie, it's nice meeting you. Are you Oppa's friend?"
Before I can answer, another set of footsteps draws my attention, as does the familiar voice that makes my heart pound harder. "Sophia! Your mother is calling for you!"
"Kay kay!" Sophia releases my hand as she runs back into the house.
"Uncle." Hyunjin greets him as he engulfs him in a hug, while I am left stunned. My heart aches as I stare at my biological father. Despite hitting the age of fifty-five, he still looks as healthy as he was the last time I saw him.
"Your aunt was worried sick about you." Minjun rolls his eyes playfully while he still hasn't noticed my presence yet. "She thought that something bad happened to you."
"I'm here now." Hyunjin chuckles, but there is silence before he speaks up in a quiet tone. "Uncle, there's someone I think you would love to meet."
Hyunjin steps aside and reveals me to Minjun, who is staring at me as if he had seen a ghost. His eyes seem to glisten, though I'm not entirely certain to decipher the expression on his face due to how my vision is blurring with each blink.
"Stella?" Minjun utters my name in a broken whisper. "Is that really you?"
Although I initially held grudges against him, they dissipated the moment our eyes met. I choke back a sob. All I want now is to hug my real father.
"Yes." My voice cracks. "Uncle─" I am cut off when he takes a big step forward and embraces me in his arms. His arms envelope my body, feeling akin to a safety blanket that went missing for years.
"I'm so, so sorry, my daughter." His voice holds so much emotion as I tighten my arms around his figure, weeping into his shoulder. We stay in this position for awhile before he pulls away, but his hands are still on my shoulders.
He smiles through the tears. "You've grown up into a beautiful woman. I'm just regretful for not being there for you and for not telling you the truth. I truly wanted, and I did, but─"
"I know." I interject, my voice comes out soft. "You couldn't and weren't allowed to because of that monster, Hwang Minhyuk."
His hands tighten while his eyes harden at the mention of him. "He robbed me of my happiness."
I chuckle sadly. "I wanted to hate you when Minhyuk revealed the truth, but I couldn't. I could never hate the man who took great care of me, unlike the man who I thought was my father."
"There is so much I want to know, sweetheart." Minjun kisses my forehead, and his gesture is enough to bring back the tears. "But first, let's have dinner. I'm sure you must be starving."
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Minjun's wife, Kelly, is a beautiful woman in her late fourties'. When she first saw me, she was stunned, but then she wholeheartedly welcomed me with a hug, as though she had known me forever. Apparently, Minjun told her about me being his biological daughter, and she had always wanted to meet me.
The two got married two years after Minjun settled in New York. They were friends until Minjun fell in love with her. He swore that he wouldn't fall for another woman, but then Kelly managed to weasel her way into his heart. Now, they are happily married and still going strong with an eight-year-old daughter.
Sophia, on the other hand, was genuinely confused when we revealed to her that I was Minjun's biological daughter, and that made me her half-sister. But Kelly and Hyunjin explained to her with lots of patience, and when she finally understood, she ran to me and gave me a big hug, telling me that she was more than happy to have an older sister since she had always wanted a sibling.
The ambience in this house is lovely and safe, unlike the Hwang Mansion. It's what I've always wanted: to be surrounded by such a loving family and a safe environment where I could talk about how my day was going, just like any other normal family.
"Allow me." I offer my assistance to Kelly in washing the dishes.
"Oh! It's fine, sweetie!" Kelly attempts to do so, but I remain resilient. Reluctantly, she yields, but a small smile dances on her lips. "You're so much like your father."
"Really?" I ask, glancing at her briefly while my hands multitask while washing the dishes. "I don't think we're that much alike."
"You two are more alike than you thought." Kelly's smile turns sad. "I'm sorry that you've had such a hard time almost throughout your life. You deserve to have a family that loves and accepts you for who you are."
As I wipe my hands with a cloth, I turn to look at Kelly with a faint smile. "It means a lot to me to hear you say that. Thank you, Kelly."
Kelly grabs my hand and holds it tenderly. "You must know that Minjun was heartbroken that he didn't get to tell you the truth and to be apart from you for so many years." She tells me with a shaky breath. "He thought he would never see you again."
"I thought too." I whisper. "I almost wanted to give up searching for him, but I knew I shouldn't."
"I'm glad you don't hate him." Kelly pats the back of my hand. "You're always welcome here, Stella. This can be your new home, too. I'm sure Sophia would be thrilled."
"Thank you so much, but I'm afraid I can't due to my job." I sigh. "But I'll be sure to visit whenever I can."
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Instead of heading to my apartment after dinner ended, I requested Hyunjin drop me off at Central Park as I wanted to clear my head. Though the time now strikes 11 p.m., there are still some people at the park, but most of them are couples.
I glance down at my phone, which displays an invitation virtual card that was sent through my email. It is regarding a communal party where every professional F1 driver, the teams, and other members of the organisation are invited to attend. It will happen tomorrow night.
As I keep my phone in my pocket, I am contemplating whether to attend. A part of me is alarmed by the fact that there is a chance I may bump into any of them. If I do, what do I do? Do I run away for the second time? Do I greet them and maintain professionalism?
My heart aches again at the thought of them. There is no denying that I miss them dearly, but I know that I can't afford to be in their lives again, as I do not wish to bring misfortunes into their lives anymore. Though I love them, I've always hoped that they would find their significant other and be happy.
My steps seem to slow down as I look down, but my ears perk up at another sound of footsteps approaching, prompting me to slowly look up. I stop dead in my tracks as soon as we lock eyes. My heart begins to palpitate while my throat goes dry.
He looks more mature than the last time I saw him, and under the lamppost, I see that his hair is a new shade of magenta purple. His hair looks longer, looking like he has grown a mullet and tempting me to run my fingers through his locks.
We stand a few feet apart, just staring at each other while the ambiance feels melancholy. I don't know how to decipher the expression on his face, but as our gazes deepen, I recognise the emotions in his eyes, making my heart ache tremendously.
"Stella." He breaks the ice between us, and the mere sound of his voice is enough to have me in shambles. The way he utters my name is just the same as it was. He is still soft-spoken, as is the gentleness he emits. It's one of the reasons I fell for him.
My eyes glisten with tears, but I manage to utter, "Heeseung."
The corners of his lips upturn. "Isn't it dangerous for you to stroll in the park at night?"
"This isn't my first time." I reply, my voice becoming shakier than intended. "You're here for business as well." My statement seems to surprise him.
"I was, but seeing you here now, I guess I'm not here only for business anymore." He says softly as he takes a step towards me, and he doesn't seem to stop. I want to run into his arms so badly, but I refrain myself.
"Don't, Hee." I shake my head as my lips quiver and the tears well up in my eyes. "You're supposed to walk away from me."
But Heeseung doesn't relent, and before I know it, he is standing close to me with his hand cradling my face. "Just like you did years ago when you decided to disappear?" He asks quietly while my stomach churns with guilt. "You don't get to tell me what to do, Stella."
I can only look him in the eyes through my tears. "It's for the best, Heeseung. You know that."
"I know for a fact that your disappearance broke my heart." He whispers, bringing his face closer to mine before he leans his forehead against mine. "I never would have thought that you'd be the one to break my heart."
I remain silent as I allow the tears to flow freely. I watch as he holds my hand and raises it before planting a soft yet lingering kiss on my palm. "I've missed you dearly, sweetheart." He mumbles, placing my palm on his cheek and his hand firmly on the back of my hand. "You didn't even wait for me to wake up. You didn't even wait for me to tell you how much I loved you." He whispers brokenly.
"You shouldn't have missed me." I sob softly. "I'm not worthy of being missed by you, let alone being loved by you." I attempt to break free from his grasps, but he only holds me firmer.
"Don't." He pleads, making my heart shatter once more. "Don't disappear again, sweetheart."
"You don't understand, Hee. You can't love me, and we can never be together." I tell him with such desperation. "You deserve better than me. You'll only hurt yourself if you're tied to me."
"But I want you." I feel his arm snaking around my waist, pulling me closer until the space between us is nonexistent. I can feel his warmth with my body against him. He presses his forehead on mine, his eyes never breaking contact with me. "My body, my heart, and my soul desire only you, Stella. You're the only woman I want to be with for a lifetime."
"You must let me go." I whisper brokenly as I find myself growing weaker in his embrace. "You know you have to."
"No." I feel his lips on my forehead, kissing me. "I'm not letting you go again this time." It's a promise, and a promise he intends to keep.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
The strong temptation to kiss Heeseung and how weak I got made me snap out of the trance last night. Thus, I forced myself to escape from his firm grip and fled from him, despite how my heart was aching tremendously. I didn't dare look at his face because I knew that I had hurt him for the second time.
I must remain steadfast and cannot afford to feel vulnerable, just as I did upon meeting Heeseung, Jay, and Jungwon. I must allow the old Hwang Stella to come to surface─when she was perceived as a cold, heartless bitch who didn't care about anything other than herself and her goals. I must make them hate me, even if they already do.
"Stel." Jen's voice brings me back to reality as I blink my eyes at her. She is staring at me with such concern. "I've been calling you many times, but you were staring into spaces. Are you okay? You look distraught."
I manage a faint smile. "I'm fine, really. I just have a lot on my mind lately."
Jen raises an eyebrow, and I notice that there are dresses draped over her arm. "Like, which dress should you wear for tonight's communal party?"
Right, I forget that Jennifer will be going with me since she's invited as well due to being the daughter of one of the bosses. Hence, she will be going with me. I expected awkwardness to envelope us when she asked me to accompany her to buy some dresses, but it has been rather pleasant. Maybe because I've been preoccupied by other things.
"I'll just wear whatever I have in my wardrobe." I shrug my shoulders.
Jen looks at me as if I had offended her. "I've seen your wardrobe before, and as much as I love your fashion sense, you have to buy a dress as well. Plus, I'm going to make you look drop-dead gorgeous and become the main event of the night."
"Jen." I heave a sigh, but she simply pats my cheek with a grin on her face.
"Trust me, babe. You'll be attracting attention. After tonight, expect to get a number from one of the F1 drivers, or more than one." Jen shoves one of the dresses into my arms. "Now, go and try this. It suits you."
I glance down at the dress and examine it. It's an off-shoulder midnight blue dress that reaches probably above my knees, and it is also adorned in glitter. I look back at Jen with uncertainty. "I don't know, Jen. This dress looks great, but─"
"Nu-uh. I'm not hearing any excuses from you." Jen proceeds to drag me into the changing room, quite literally.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Earlier, Jen insisted on doing my make-up, and so we decided to get ready in my crib instead. It was chaotic despite the fact that there were only two of us, but at the same time, I enjoyed getting ready for a party with my best friend.
Jen booked an Uber for us to get to the main headquarters, where the party is held at the reception. Presently, we are nearly reaching the location. I decide to open my phone camera to check my face another time. Jen really did a great job, especially the eyeshadows with the final touch of glitter.
"You look gorgeous, babe." Jen compliments me for the third time, probably annoyed by how often I keep checking myself on every mirror or pair of reflective glasses we are passing by. I can't help it. Somehow, I feel anxious and conscious about my appearance.
A shaky breath leaves my lips before I give her a tight smile as we enter the elevator. "You look gorgeous yourself too." I return, realising that I haven't really given her any compliments.
I dismiss how her cheeks look pinker than usual, but they are probably her blushes. In return, Jen gives me a smile, displaying her pearly teeth. "Of course! Which is why if I go missing and don't pick up your calls, I'm most likely busy with some other F1 drivers."
I simply raise my eyebrow. "Busy? Really?"
Jen smirks. "Yup. You can't really blame me. It has been awhile since I've gotten laid." She pauses, as though she realises something, before she clears her throat in an awkward manner. "Aside from our endeavour months ago"
"Hey, listen," I place my hand on her shoulder with an apologetic smile on my face. "I'm sorry for making things awkward between us."
A peculiar emotion flickers in her gaze before she assures me with a small smile. "It's fine, Stel. It's natural because we're best friends, and what happened was unexpected, but as I said before, nothing is ever going to change."
I exhale, feeling relief. I engulf her in a hug, though she appears to be flinching at my sudden affection. "I love you, Jen."
She stays silent for awhile before whispering. "I love you too, Stel." Maybe it's just me, but I sense hesitation in her tone.
Finally, the elevator chimes as it opens, prompting us to exit and make our way to the reception. As soon as we enter, I spot familiar and unfamiliar faces mingling around. The music reverberates throughout the massive reception, as do the laughter and cheers emanating from the guests.
"Oh! Tequila!" Jen stops by the drink section, prompting me to stop as well. She grabs one of the glasses before downing the content in one go. She looks at me with a grin. "I bet you'll love it! Here!" She offers me another glass to me.
As I'm about to accept it from her, my eyes widen when I spot Heeseung by the entrance of the reception. He is decked out in an all-black fit, and the turtleneck top he's wearing looks good on him. He appears to be in a conversation with two people, whom I recognise as other F1 drivers.
I immediately look away and snatch the drink from Jen before downing it in one go. As I wipe my lips with the back of my hand, Jen is staring at me quizzically. "I've never seen you drink like that. Are you really Stella?"
"I'm just really thirsty." I grab another tequila, drinking down my feelings.
"Woah, slow down, babygirl. We haven't even gone to the buffet yet." Jen places her hand on my back. Her eyes seem to be scanning behind me before they lit up. "There's my dad! You wanna follow me?"
"You go ahead. I'll catch up with you later." I tell her before she immediately weaves her way through the crowd.
As I'm walking, some familiar faces greet me and even engage me in a conversation, but I know I can't stay at one place any longer, and the chances of bumping into any of them are high.
"Team McLaren will win this round. I'm positive of it." I freeze at the sound of a familiar voice just behind me. Kim Sunoo.
"We can't be too complacent. We still need to continue practicing." Jay.
Act normal, Stella. I tell myself as I walk at a normal pace, despite the fact that my heart is pounding hard. As I'm hearing their conversation, it seems like they are too engrossed, and so I take this chance to quicken my pace.
But then, I stop dead in my tracks when I spot Jungwon from afar, with his fellow teammates. I turn in the other direction, and when I do, I curse silently. The universe must be hating me. Sunghoon and Riki. They don't seem to notice me yet, as they, too, are engrossed in their conversation.
My chest feels constricted. They look utterly handsome and gorgeous, and it hurts so bad. Though the only differences are that they look mature compared to four years ago, they do look different, and I'm not talking about appearance-wise only.
I must get away from their sight. And so I quickly make my way to the ladies' restroom. Seeing the sight of them tonight makes it harder for me to breathe, as though they stole my breath away, and my heart aches so much. All the memories I had with them, which I've buried, resurface, almost as if I'm reliving those moments all over again.
God, do those memories hurt so bad.
"Although it was just a practice, they can't screw up like that again."
I guess I'm walking too fast and too caught up in my head to recognise his voice, and before I know it, I bump into his solid chest. So much for wanting to avoid them.
"I'm so sorry─" He apologises, but the moment our eyes meet, recognition flickers in his gaze while his lips go parted in shock.
"Stella?" His voice is barely above a whisper, but I don't waste time heading in the other direction and walking away briskly. Thank God that I'm not wearing heels, or else my feet would already be hurting.
"Stella! Wait!" He calls for me a little louder from behind, which drives me to quicken my pace. I grit my teeth. Damn it, Sim Jaeyun.
It's ironic how fate wanted me to meet him, just like when I first met him back in college. How uncanny. My eyes skim through the crowd, trying to find Jen, but she is still with her father, engaging in a conversation with other fellow associates in suits.
My stomach churns with unease while my heart rate doesn't seem to be slowing down, especially when another pair of eyes have me locked, unable to look away. Sunghoon. To make it worse, he's only standing a few metres from me.
The expression on his face is akin to Jaeyun's, as though he can't believe to see me here out of all the places. He steps forward, and I can see the way his hand is trying to reach out to me. "Stella." His deep voice is discernible amidst the music that is playing.
It is ironic how the music fits the situation. It's 'we can't be friends' by Ariana Grande.
♪I don't want to tiptoe, but I don't wanna hide♪
I shake my head at Sunghoon, warning him not to get closer to me, but he's hesitating. I turn to the side, and my heart almost lurches when Sunoo and Jay spot me with their eyes widening.
"Stella!" Jaeyun stops just a few metres from me, and his gaze is fixated on me with such intent while despair sheens in his eyes. "Please, love."
♪Just want to let this story die, and I'll be alright♪
"Don't, Jake." I force my voice to come colder, and it seems to work as he visibly flinches. I must remain unwavering, and I must not forget my goal, which is to get them to hate me.
"Stella." I draw a sharp breath when Heeseung calls for me from the other side, and I'm now surrounded by them. They all look and sound genuinely shocked to see me. Of course, they would be. They never expected that I would be one of the major external travel managers in the same industry as them.
♪We can't be friends, but I'd like to just pretend♪
It's getting harder to breathe, and I feel overwhelmed by them. I know I said that I would remain unwavering, but right now, I just want to curl up into a ball and bawl my eyes out. Seeing their faces up close only hurt me deeply, like a knife slicing my heart.
"Stella, what are you doing here?" Sunghoon asks as soon as he recovers, and his eyes harden as they stare right into mine. "After disappearing on us four years ago, you had the audacity to show up like this?"
The sheer hatred he emits feels familiar, reminding me of when we used to be enemies. I guess we are enemies again, especially with the way he looks at me.
I don't respond, and even if I wanted to, I couldn't, because the next thing I know is that someone has dragged me out of their sight in a swift manner, as though he knew I needed some saving.
"Jungwon." I mutter his name numbly as I allow him to drag me somewhere else. I can only stare at the back of his head, wondering if he feels just as shocked as they are.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
We are at an empty meeting room, which is situated in the reception area, but just a little further from where the people are partying. I watch Jungwon in silence as I sit by the window sill while he paces back and forth with his fingers running through his raven locks.
I hold myself back from flinching when he directs his sharp gaze at me. "What are you really doing here out of all places?"
"I've been invited, of course." I answer curtly, hating how his intimidating disposition makes me feel small. "If I weren't invited, I would've gotten kicked out."
"I get that, but how?" He asks, looking bewildered, but then realisation hits him as his eyes go wide. "Unless you're working for F1."
I manage a bitter smile. "There goes your answer." I stand, smoothing down my dress. "Anyway, thanks for helping me to escape. I should head back now."
Just as I'm about to open the door, Jungwon puts his hand firmly on the door, preventing me from opening it. I shoot him a glare. "Yang Jungwon."
"I'm not done with you yet, Stella." A muscle ticks in his jaw, looking oddly attractive.
I scoff in disbelief while my mind recalls the last time we've ever talked. "We've been way done since that night at the gala. You said so yourself, or have you forgotten?"
"I know what I said, and there hasn't been a day where I don't regret it." Jungwon steps closer to me, prompting me to back up against the door. I maintain eye contact despite how flushed I feel by the distance between us and how the air around us shifts into something a little more dangerous.
"Then why did you do it?" I ask coldly. "I even insisted that we remain friends even though you would be engaged to another woman."
"Don't you get it, Stel? I don't want us to be just friends." His eyes darken, making me deflate by the intensity. "I didn't want to marry anyone that wasn't you, but you seemed nonchalant about it and the fact that you still insisted on us being friends."
My breath catches in my throat as the distance between our faces is dangerously close. I find it getting harder to breathe. "Jungwon."
"I didn't want you like a best friend, and even now, I desire only you." He caresses my cheek gently, but I sense danger still lurks beneath it. "I want to be yours, Stella."
My eyes flicker at his lips. Just one movement, and our lips collide. Just one. But I know better than to fall into the temptation.
I force myself to shove away any affection or familiar sentiments as my eyes turn colder. "Step away from me, Jungwon."
He doesn't deter. "Not until you give me your answer."
"There is no answer." I grit my teeth. "I suggest you drop this. From the moment you left, we were no longer friends or best friends. You're just a stranger to me now."
Hurt resides in his gaze as he staggers a step back. "You don't mean that. The Stella I knew wouldn't say those."
"The Stella you knew is dead." I continue to speak with such resolution. "Move on, Jungwon. Because I did."
I swing the door open and immediately leave him in the room. I can hear my heart breaking as I realise how I managed to hurt him. I blink away the tears that collect on the rims of my eyes.
As my eyes drift to the view in front of me, my lips flatten once more while my stomach churns with the previous unsettlement. I have a feeling that tonight is going to be a long night.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
The advantage of throwing the communal party in the massive reception is that the majority of the guests are within the main section of the party, so I won't have to worry about anyone stumbling into this area or listening. The last thing I need is for anyone to learn that I have an intricate history with the Formula One stars.
The music sounds faint as I maintain unwavering eye contact with them. Though my facade must've been cold with such resolution, my heart is pounding hard against my chest. I should've known better than to assume that this night would be going just fine without having to face them.
But something appears in my mind amidst the melancholy brimming in the atmosphere. Are they finally on good terms with Jungwon, who didn't bid them goodbye or even closure?
"You were with Jungwon. Where is he?" Sunoo asks, and even as he is the first to break the silence, it isn't enough to dispel the melancholy in the air that seems to feel suffocating with each passing second.
"I don't know." I reply, maintaining my poker face. "Surely, you guys have his contact information, right? Then call him."
"You think it's that easy?" Sunghoon scoffs, the hostility he emits feels nostalgic. His eyes are so cold and filled with hatred. "You don't even know the things we've all been through."
"Because you chose to disappear, like a coward." Riki adds as he leans his back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, and for the first time, he looks just as resentful as Sunghoon. "We would've been fine if you'd told us that you didn't want to stick around us any longer, but no, you chose the same method like Jungwon did to us."
"Ni-Ki." Heeseung looks at him, as though he is warning him, but Riki doesn't relent as he leans away from the wall and stalks towards me with his glare burning straight into my eyes.
"Let him." Sunghoon tells Heeseung. "She deserves to hear what he has to say for all of us."
Riki continues, and with each word he speaks, it is as though it is venomous. "Instead of checking on us to see if we were okay after we had saved you, you chose to abandon us without a second thought. You're just the same as Jungwon. Both cowards."
"Ni-Ki, enough." Jay says sternly, but earns a glare from Sunghoon in return.
"Was Ni-Ki wrong for saying all those things? Look at her! She doesn't even look the slightest bit remorseful!" Sunghoon exclaims.
I choose to remain silent as they start to bicker amongst each other. Little do they know that they're wrong. In fact, I did check on them. I did have second thoughts.
"I just don't get it." I speak up, drawing their attention. My hand curls into a fist at the side. "Why are you all acting this way? Why are you all hurt by the fact that I left?" My voice is resounding as I try to remain unwavering. "We weren't anything beyond friends. Just like what they all used to say, I'm just one of your girls."
"What has happened to you, Stella?" Sunoo asks sadly. "Why are you being this way?"
"I'm right, aren't I?" I ignore the stinging pain in my chest. "I was there to satisfy your wants and needs. I was just─" A painful lump appears in my throat while the back of my eyes are beginning to sting. "─a slut to entertain you lot until you'd get bored of me."
"You're not a slut, Stella." Jake doesn't bother to hide the fact that he is hurt by my statements as he stares at me with such devastation.
"How could you ever think like that?" Heeseung asks in a broken whisper. "We loved you. I loved you, and I still do."
Don't cave in, Stella. I mask my true feelings as I release a humourless chuckle. "You still don't get it, do you? You can't love me because─" My heart starts to bleed, "because I don't love you." I ignore the way most of them visibly flinch, as if I had hit them. "Just as I said before, we weren't anything beyond friends, and we certainly can't be friends."
"I hate you." Riki's whisper is resounding, enough to reach everyone's ears. He stares at me with such resentment, but he can't hide the pain written on his face. "The Stella I knew wouldn't be this heartless. I hate you."
"Ni-Ki." Sunoo sighs exasperatedly as Riki leaves the area before he chases after him.
"You're being cruel, Hwang." Sunghoon clenches his jaw, and amidst the hatred, I can see glimpses of heartbreak in his beautiful eyes. "Did my confession four years ago mean anything to you? Did we even mean anything to you?"
"I'm not being cruel. This is me slapping reality on all of you—that you are better off without me, just as I am." The lie tastes like poison on my tongue. "Whatever feelings you have for me, I'm not going to reciprocate them. We wouldn't work out, anyway."
"You don't know that." Jay steps forward, his hand reaching out for me, but he pauses before letting it fall to his side.
I shake my head. "It would be wise for you to forget me and move on with your lives."
As I turn around with the intention to run away for the ninth time, I feel a hand latching itself around my wrist firmly. "You think it's that easy for us to forget you?" Sunghoon's voice cracks in between, tugging at my wrist. I feel tears prickling in my eyes, but I don't turn around to look at him or any of them, or else they would catch glimpses of my true feelings.
"Please, just move on." I plead, gritting my teeth. "You'd only hurt yourself if you continued to stay hopeful that I'd return."
"Guess what, princess? You've already hurt us by breaking our hearts four years ago." Sunghoon says. "They're not going to mend by themselves unless the owner who broke our hearts mends them."
I forcefully yank my wrist away from his grasp before looking at him through blurry vision. "Then find someone else to mend your broken hearts." I tell him harshly, though my heart is screaming at me once more for hurting them.
"Stella, please." Jay pleads, looking as vulnerable as ever. "Don't be difficult."
"The only ones who are being difficult are you guys." I turn my back on them, but as I do, I spot Jungwon just a few metres away from us. The expression on his face is hard to decipher, but I'm certain that he heard everything. "Don't approach me, and don't talk to me again. If you do, I'll pretend not to know you." I say my final piece, and my voice wavers at the end.
I don't waste time walking away from them briskly with a fallen teardrop sliding down my cheek. As I busily try to wipe it away, I halt my steps when I see Jen in my view. The way she is looking at me tells me that she has been eavesdropping on us.
Jen glances behind me before she grabs my hand and takes me somewhere.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Jen brings me to one of the lounge rooms, being careful that no one follows us. She closes the door while I settle myself on the mini-couch, feeling numb from whatever happened. My eyes remain fixated on my hands, and I don't look up as Jen sits next to me.
"You've probably heard everything, or at least most of it." I say quietly.
"I'm sorry." Jen sounds apologetic. "I was searching for you, and when I saw you with them, I couldn't help but to eavesdrop." She places her hand on my back. "The Formula One stars—they're the guys you told me about before."
I nod my head sullenly as my lips quiver. "I managed to hurt them." I look at her with a wavering smile while tears are brimming on the rim of my eyes. I chuckle brokenly. "It's what I wanted, and it's my goal. To hurt them so they won't have to be tied to me just as they did before."
Jen's eyes soften. "I understand, and I'm not picking sides, but from the way I perceived it, they do seem genuine, and they love you, Stella."
"That's the problem, Jen. They can't." I croak out, the tears are finally spilled. "It's for the best. I don't want anything to happen to them like the incident four years ago."
"But that was in the past, when you were in Seoul." Jen counters as she brushes a fallen lock from my frame. "Now that you're out of there, you can do whatever you want now. You're no longer tied to your past."
"You don't understand. Even if I'm no longer tethered to the Hwang name, my past will eventually catch up to me." My hands tremble on my thighs as I recall a certain memory that engraves deep in my mind. "I don't want to risk anything, especially when Hwang Minhyuk isn't done with me."
"Wait, what do you mean?" Jen's face turns serious. "Stel, what are you not telling me?"
With one look at her face, I burst into more waterworks, prompting her to bring me into her warm embrace as I cling to her while my mind drifts off to flashbacks.
▰▰▰▰
As soon as I recovered, the law enforcement officers paid me a visit and informed me that Minhyuk had made a request to meet me. Yeji was hesitant, but something told me that it would be wise to meet him before I left Seoul for good.
So here I was, facing the devil himself, with a clear glass in between us. It felt good to see him in his prison uniform after knowing the amount of blood he had spilled. I felt nothing but pure hatred and resentment as I glared at him, especially after knowing that he had killed Mary. What's worse was that he didn't even look remorseful.
"So why did you want to meet me?" I broke the ice, and my voice had no traces of warmth. "Surely, it couldn't be an apology, especially coming from a monster like you."
"You are right." Minhyuk smirks coldly at me. "I heard that you'd be leaving Seoul for good, but did you really think that you'd be safe even if you decided to fly to another country?"
"Your threats don't scare me, and you can't hurt me anymore." I stated in a monotone manner. "Seriously, you're wasting my time─"
"You ought to be careful, Stella, because trust me when I say that I will rise again, and this time, I will not fail and I will not miss." Minhyuk cuts me off sharply.
I sigh, rubbing my temple. "Let me guess, you're going to kill me again."
"Not only you. I'll kill the people you hold dear. Starting with those guys who you spread your legs for!" Minhyuk sneers at me, and this time, I felt chills down my spine. "You ought to be careful, Stella. You may never know when I'll rise again."
"The law won't allow you." I counter firmly.
Minhyuk chuckles. "You have no idea how influential and powerful the Hwangs are, do you?" He slowly rises from his seat, looking down on me with such animosity. "Heed my words, Stella. Wherever you go, they go, and when I find them, I'll be sure to carve out their hearts and deliver them to you on silver platters."
This time, I didn't hold back from the anger I was seething with. I abruptly stand, my seat flinging away. "Don't you dare hurt them, you sick psycho!"
Minhyuk took pleasure in seeing me in this state. "I was right. You love them. This makes everything easy and delightful."
I gritted my teeth. "I'll have you imprisoned until the day you die, Hwang Minhyuk."
Minhyuk startled me when he slammed his hand on the glass, and his erratic behaviour alerted the guards. "Don't underestimate what I can do, Stella!" He struggled in the guards' grip as they attempted to bring him away. "Mark my words! I won't let you have your happy ending! I will find you! You hear me, Stella?!"
I staggered a step back as my chest started to hurt while Minhyuk was still shouting in the background, cursing me, until he began to fade.
▰▰▰▰
Yeji was being careful as she eyed me cautiously with the way I walk, though I was still limping slightly due to the injury on my thigh, thanks to Rena, who was currently behind bars. Like father, like daughter.
"I just need to see them one last time." I told Yeji as we stopped outside of the room where the guys were in separate beds. Just earlier, I stopped by Jaeyun's private room, where he was regrettably still in a coma. I watch with my heart aching at the sight of Riki, Sunoo, and Jay conversing with small smiles on their faces. Sunghoon looked asleep, whereas Heeseung was still in a coma due to the fatal injury to his stomach.
"I'm done." I said shakily as I wiped the tears away from my cheeks. "Let's go, Unnie."
"You know, you don't have to leave them like this." Yeji held my arm as we walked away. "Yes, they hurt you when they revealed their involvement in their parents' schemes, but even I can tell that they genuinely love you."
Yeji didn't know another reason why I was doing this. She only thought that I was still reeling in hurt from the revelation that they became closer to me due to their parents' schemes. She didn't know about the promising threat Minhyuk told me yesterday.
"It's for the best, Unnie." I told her as I held back my tears. "They will move on and forget about me eventually."
Yeji could only sigh at my adamant behaviour. No matter how much she tried to persuade me, I would remain steadfast. Besides, I'd rather have them hate me for leaving than risk their safety just because they got tied to me once more. Yes, I believed in Minhyuk's warnings. That monster was capable of anything.
I'd rather die than allow anything to happen to them a second time.
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BTOB Reaction | Their G/F Wants to Breakup
Pairing: BTOB Members x Fem!Reader
Requested by anon: Hello! I am one of your lowkey reader 🥹 1st time requesting ! Can you plz write btob reaction when their gf say to break up… Thanks!
Genre: angst
A/n: first normal request written in a while! i hope it's good! please reblog! and my dearest anon, welcome to the chicken coop! get ready to enjoy my crazy self and weird antics!
Eunkwang: It honestly catches Eunkwang off guard. Of all the things he thought you were going to say, ‘we should break up’ was the last thing on his mind. His mind would immediately go blank, your words ringing over and over again in his head like some sort of curse. He swears his heart breaks in that instant before he grabs your hand and holds it tightly, begging you to explain what he did for you to say this and why you would even want to. Tears well in his eyes as he searches yours for any form of pain, but you must be doing a good job at hiding it or simply aren’t feeling anything at all. And that’s when he realizes, he must’ve lost you long before you even brought this up.
“Did I-did I do something? What-why-please tell me why?”
Minhyuk: To say Minhyuk is numb is an understatement. He’s feeling everything and nothing all at once. One hand he feels as though his world is crashing down, burning in flames, but on the other hand he can’t really say he hadn’t seen it coming. There had been a clear shift in your behavior the past few days that had him a bit on edge wondering what would be happening between the two of you. Turns out he didn’t have to wait long before you brought it up. And while his heart and mind were in flurry trying to process and come up with some reason for you to reconsider your proposal, you had walked out of the door.
“Wait! Please just-”
Changsub: There’s a big difference between Changsub’s reaction and the previous guys’. I don’t see him confronting you in the moment rather sitting on it for a while, pondering what happened, but never raising any questions. As much as he’s willing to fight for the two of you, if he’s sure that you have made up your mind, he knows nothing is going to change that. So while he may be in pain regarding your decision to break up, he’ll put on a brave face and go along with it because he doesn’t want you to feel guilty. If there were a lyric to describe his reaction it would be this: Fake it ‘til you make it, ‘til you do, ‘til it’s true.
“I’m sorry you feel that way…”
Hyunsik: Hyunsik isn’t going to stop you either. He will question it, wanting to know exactly what your reasoning behind ending the relationship is. He feels he deserves at least that much. Honestly, I think he’d definitely take the most mature approach. If he can, he would like to remain civil with one another. Maybe being lovers isn’t written for the two of you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends or at least try to be. But you will forever be the one that got away.
“Can I at least know why?”
Peniel: Also on the more silent side, like Changsub, but I do think Peniel would get frustrated trying to wrap his head around the whole thing. He’s not going to hide the fact that he’s in pain and angry - more likely at himself for not noticing the deterioration of your relationship. But he doesn’t do it to make you feel guilty, that he makes very clear. He’ll definitely be silent for a while but eventually come back putting up a front that he’s fine, because he doesn’t want others to see him like that. But his heart will be aching every second of every day.
“I just don’t understand. Can you please make it clearer?”
Sungjae: Sungjae copes but tries to ignore the obvious for as long as possible. You say it, he listens, nods, and then moves on as if nothing happened. And then it all hits him the moment you leave. But he doesn’t cry then. No, the tears come later when someone asks him about you and he realizes that it is real. Not just a figment of his imagination that he’d had nightmares about constantly. You are actually done with him. And he didn’t even ask why.
“Okay, yeah, I understand. I have to go.”
#kpop reactions#btob#btob masterlist#btob reactions#eunkwang#minhyuk#changsub#hyunsik#peniel#sungjae
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Forgetful Memories
Word count; 7,318
Fandom; Monsta X
Pairing; Son Hyunwoo X Reader (Sunyoung) Lee Minhyuk X Reader.
Characters; Son Hyunwoo, Lee Minhyuk, Lee Hoseok, Yoo Kihyun, Chae Hyungwon, Lee Jooheon & IM Changkyun
Warning; Angst, Jealousy, Slight Domestic Violence, Slight Cheating, Slight Suicidal thoughts, Manipulation, Supernatural powers & Sex.
Notes; Happy Birthday Hyunwoo ❤️😘
“But it hurts,” Hyungwon whined pleading with his friend Hyunwoo. “I don’t think you understand what your asking for,” he reply’s patting his friends shoulder. “I do, I know your skills, your power,” Hyungwon whispers eyes widened. “Once they are gone I can’t get them back. Not even if I wanted to,” Hyunwoo said sternly. Hyungwon knew the elder hated using the gift he somehow was thrown upon. All he remembered was waking in the dark underground derelict tunnels of Seoul. Kihyun had found him scared lost alone and his memory’s wiped. The younger had revealed that he somehow had great powers to remove memory’s. Teaching him how to safely remove them for good purposes especially ones that healed broken hearts. “But I don’t know how long I can continue to live with this pain,” Hyungwon said looking pained. “You said a few months and it’s been that now. She’s all I can think of, breathe even,” he added with tears slipping down his face. “Fine,” Hyunwoo relented sitting up as he breathed in deeply. Helping friends when he wasn’t sure losing memory’s including good times was a positive thing. “You know,”, “their is risks I could lose other memory’s,”,”I know,” Hyungwon said desperately cutting him off. “Let me prep,” Hyunwoo said standing to his feet.
Dipping his fingers in to the Frankincense oil, Hyunwoo sprinkles it over Hyungwon. The settling music to relax both their mind settles them both. Another coating of the aroma, the chants fill the air as he press both index fingers to his friends Temple. Rushed memory’s fills his mind, heart warming of love when they first met. The happiness and joy during their time together, before the pain of the break up. Feeling the vibration of pain attack Hyungwon’s body, Hyunwoo focuses on sucking every one out till the last. The pain and anger of the situation befallen him. Images of the room being thrown in fits of rage was horrible to view. It was one of the reasons he hated doing this for people he cared about. Gritting his teeth he abstracted the final memory of his friends pain. Imagining his violet aura he helped to plunge happiness into the cracks of the missing memory. Absorbing the emptiness and confusion that would have occurred. Panting he stepped back as he looked at the relaxed features on the younger’s face. Wobbling slightly he leaned on the wall, Hyungwon’s pain still cursing through him. “You ok?” Hyungwon said with concern. “You not well?” He asked as his hands fell to Hyunwoo’s shoulders. “Tired, long day at work,” he replied being relieved it seemingly was successful. “What was we talking about?” Hyungwon looked at his friend confused. “You was telling me about your work friends wedding that’s coming up,” Hyunwoo slipped out remembering his plus one invite that brought his woes to you. “Ahh yes so it’s clear I need more clothing brought in. Fancy a bit of retail therapy,” he asked bending for a sip of water.
Before Hyunwoo could respond the door opened as their friend Minhyuk arrived, gift in arms. “Happy birthday Hyung,” he said throwing his arm tenderly around Hyunwoo. “Thanks,” he replied bashfully as Hyungwon’s eyes widened in horror. “Hyung I’m so sorry I completely forgot,” Hyungwon leapt up off the sofa, wobbling that Hyunwoo realised he hadn’t fully recovered from his memory alteration. Minhyuk rushed to his side with concern. It was like he knew automatically as he tilted towards the elder. “You ok? you seem like your a little unwell,” He said letting his hands brush along Hyungwon’s forehead. “I’m fine, I think maybe it’s because I haven’t eaten,” Hyungwon said as he forced himself out Minhyuk’s hold. “I will be fine after I’ve eaten something I’m sure,” Hyungwon said as Minhyuk’s eyes brushed Hyunwoo’s sheepish ones. “Call me for that shopping date,” Hyungwon said walking off a little light stepped then normal.
“You took his memory’s of her away didn’t you?” Minhyuk snapped as soon as the door shut. “Minhyuk please,” Hyunwoo said as he walked to the kitchen in the hope liquor would calm his friend a little. “You swore you wouldn’t do that to a friend,” Minhyuk growled following behind. “He was in pain what did you want me to do?” Hyunwoo snapped as he reached for the whisky. “There is a third person in this or do you never care for the person wiped from their mind,” Minhyuk said with pain in his face. “Look, Hyungwon has been harassing me for months. He needed this now, their was plenty of time for a reunion. It just didn’t happen because he’s clearly meant for someone else,” Hyunwoo said filling the glasses. “But those memories she might have cherished,” Minhyuk said much more calmer. “If you was in his mind and saw the pain he was in you wouldn’t have cared for her memory’s,” he said with haunted eyes as Minhyuk breathed in deeply. “He was slowly losing himself, his depression was crippling him,” Hyunwoo said with fear that made a shiver fall upon Minhyuk. “But how are you feeling?” Minhyuk said seemingly given up his fight. “Exhausted like i always am,” Hyunwoo replied passing his friend his drink? “That’s why I got you this,” Minhyuk said passing the gift in his hand to him. “You really didn’t need to,” Hyunwoo said as he started peeling the paper off. “You won’t say that once you’ve opened,” Minhyuk said with excitement. Hyunwoo looked puzzled when he found the brown metal band ring. It looked like costume jewellery from an medieval fancy dress costume. “I saw Kihyun I told him you was exhausted after your sessions. He past me two of these, it means you get strength from me when your weakened,” Minhyuk said smiling as Hyunwoo felt gratitude towards him. “Wow that’s really thoughtful, thanks,” he said as he placed the ring on. Minhyuk showed him his version of the ring. With the twiddling of his fingers Hyunwoo felt a warm rush of energy charge at you. “Wow I felt that,” he said Before looking to his friend concerned. “How do you feel?” Hyunwoo questioned as Minhyuk smiled his way. “Nothing I don’t feel anything. You sure it’s working?” Minhyuk said before looking back to his fingers. “So you don’t feel weakened from passing me your strength?” Hyunwoo said holding on to Minhyuk’s hands lost in the excitement. Sessions of his mind alterations had weakened Hyunwoo each time. The thoughts that he didn’t have to suffer alone brought so much peace.
Moments like this had made him grateful that Kihyun had allowed Minhyuk to be aware of his powers. It meant that their was some one he could confide in, but also that could help when he felt weakened by his powers.
“Please Hyung,” the concerned voice of his friend filled the air as Hyunwoo’s hands fell to his thighs as he closed his eyes to his dilemma. “You was the one who told me to always think of your friends and who they could be removing. What has changed?” Hyunwoo said opening his eyes in the hope to change his friends mind. “She’s in pain hyung, I can’t bare it,” he said with sorrowful eyes. “Minhyuk you know the complications, you have always been against them even when I’ve been the one who couldn’t bare it. Look at Hyungwon just last month,” He said in hope to convince him to drop his pleas. “He abused her, it wouldn’t even be safe to go back,” Minhyuk said with fear. “That makes it worse, how is she to remember the danger she could walk back into,” Hyunwoo said standing to his feet. “Her memory is what keeps her forgiving him. The love she shares it’s like she prays she can change him. He’s going to kill her eventually if she keeps going back,” Minhyuk said with shaky breath. “If you can remove the memory’s, that love…. I will keep an eye on her make sure she doesn’t return back to him,” Minhyuk pleaded. “Your in love with her aren’t you?” Hyunwoo asked, not too sure why his throat burned with those words. “No, I just want to keep her safe I swear,” he replied standing to take his elders hand in his. Minhyuk’s eyes fell into his and Hyunwoo breathed almost in pain at the turmoil he faced. “Fine let me meet her first, I want to analyse everything,” Hyunwoo said with an uneasy feeling. “Hyung but you,” , “have to be discrete I know, I’m not a fool Lee Minhyuk,” Hyunwoo said turning his back on his friend. His mind crusading an attack of fearful consequences he couldn’t explain.
“What if he doesn’t like me?” Sunyoung said with worry as her close friend dragged her towards Hyunwoo’s home. “Babe trust me, he will love you,” Minhyuk said brushing his hands along the straying hair in her eyes. “He’s gently approachable, and you, your amazing,” Minhyuk said as his fingers dragged along her jawline as she smiled her beautiful cat shaped eyes his way. “I forgot I got you a gift,” he said passing her a small box. “What is this Minhyuk,” she said with anticipation. “It’s just something I saw that made me think of you,” he replied as his hands fell to her shoulder. Opening a beautiful Purple Lotus flower broach, it dazzled from the sunlight. “Wow it’s really beautiful,” she said looking between her gift and Minhyuk’s happy eyes. “You are the sweetest,” she added as she leaned up on her toes to place a single kiss on his cheek. “When I saw this I thought how beautiful it would compliment you,” he said taking it from the box. His fingers delicately touching the flower shapes. Stumbling slightly she looked at him with concern. “Baby,” she squealed with worry as she held his arms. “Just it’s such a hot day,” he gasped slightly as she looked to the sun. “Well let’s get out this heat,” Sunyoung smiled. “I haven’t fixed this yet,” Minhyuk said shaking himself off. Piercing the broach into her top, he smiled at her as his fingers raked over it once more. “Aargh,” Sunyoung cried as she dropped her drink, her hands falling to her head. “Sunyoung,” Minhyuk cried out as he threw his arms around her. “What’s up?” He asked with concern as she looked slightly dazed. “Baby?“ he called with his hands cupping her face to look at him. “I don’t know, I don’t think I feel so great you know,” she said looking up at him with sorrow in her eyes. “Let’s get you upstairs, he will be able to help I’m sure,” Minhyuk whispered reassuringly. Looking at his dark calming eyes she nodded before taking his hand to make their way up.
Sunyoung was timid, Hyunwoo could see the tale signs of her abuse. The refusal of eye contact. She seem wary and almost a stench of confusion attacked him. He was feeling all sorts of emotions from her that it was unsettling. Finally understanding why Minhyuk had come despite his feeling of Hyunwoo’s talent he agreed. She didn’t take much persuasion believing that Hyunwoo could use meditation to make her feel stronger. Minhyuk sat opposite them, his anxiety filling the air making Hyunwoo more uncomfortable. “Can you leave us be for a while please. I can feel your concern from here it’s distressing,” Hyunwoo demanded as Minhyuk reluctantly agreed . “It’s ok, your safe,” Hyunwoo says to calm Sunyoung from Minhyuk’s removal. Nodding she relaxed back into the chair as Hyunwoo’s eyes find the broach. Was this a romantic gesture? Was it brought from her former lover? Why did he feel so very unsettled around the object? Shaking his head to dislodge the interrupting emotions he was currently feeling. His fingers dipped into the frankincense. Setting the session up as usual before pressing his fingers to her temple.
A smell of darkness abrupted his nose as he felt suffocated by the intoxicating atmosphere. His body feeling the punches from her former lover. Choking as he struggled under the overwhelming trauma she had experienced. Fighting for the light to bring her peace was hard. Each time he tried to bring it over them both a flash of darkness would attack. Whimpering as she also struggled, fear fell upon Hyunwoo as he fought under the pressure. “Hyung,” you heard from the corner of the room the sound of your worried friend. “Let me help please,” he pleaded rushing towards his elder having re-entered the room. “What do I do?” Minhyuk’s said, his shakey hand over lapping Hyunwoo’s. “Imagine a violet light,” Hyunwoo whimpered as his eyes opened slightly to see Minhyuk obey. Having him by his side seemed to have done the trick, the violent shine fighting easier against the darkness. However, as it finally shone around you, it was like the power was overwhelming, throwing you back. Hitting your head on the Floor by the impact, your eyes briefly saw the same for the others as your eyes shut. What had you done? Had it gone wrong?
Waking up to Changkyun shaking him as he looks relieved from Hyunwoo opening his eyes. “Thank god your ok,” he said stepping back. “What happened?” Hyunwoo spluttered as he sat up to view Jooheon over Minhyuk and Hoseok gently attempting to wake Sunyoung. “We was hoping you could tell us,” Jooheon said as he shook Minhyuk’s unconscious body. “We got a message from Minhyuk telling us to hurry here,” Hoseok said as he seemed to have given up waking Sunyoung. “They’re breathing though,” Jooheon said as Changkyun held his hand to the elder. Standing wearily Hyunwoo took himself to check on the young lady. Fingers falling to her pulse he sighed a breath relief to feel it beating beneath his tips. “I told you they both are breathing, but they look like something knocked them out,” Jooheon spluttered. “The ambulance will be here soon,” Hoseok said reassuringly. Hyunwoo hands fell to Sunyoung’s chest as he shook her knocking the broach that scratched his skin. Yelping he looked to the small bleeding cut as he felt wearily once more. Breathing hard he felt suffocation attack again. But instead of Sunyoung’s memories they was his own.
His eyes falling to her in university, heart racing every time she spoke to him.
Words of arranging their first date, the nerves attacking till they eased of her acceptance.
The warmth in his hand when his hands met hers the first time.
Hyunwoo’s hands fell to his heart as if he was struggling to breathe. “Hyung,” Changkyun cried as his hands rested on his shoulder concerned.
“I love you Sunyoung,” slipped from Hyunwoo’s lips as she was standing outside the door from the date. Her head tilting with confusion as if she misheard. “I’ve loved you since I first met you,” Hyunwoo confessed as his heart beat from the smile on her face. Leaping up towards him her lips fell on his as they kissed for the first time. Though she hadn’t repeated the words back to him, he was happy she had accepted his.
Hyunwoo’s fingers fell upon his lips as he looked at Sunyoung’s sleeping face. Jooheon’s worried features in his view being almost invisible.
Working out at the gym as he struggled with his ever growing manhood when she bent down to tie her shoe laces. The wink in her eyes told him she was teasing him. He was anxious to take her virginity and had put it off. While she thought her hints wasn’t loud enough she became frustrated. “Do I have to initiate everything around here?” She said standing up to raise her beautiful eyes Hyunwoo’s way. The shape of her cat eyes captured her beauty that stole his breath. “What do you mean?” he choked as she chuckled her angelic laughter. “That maybe we should make that next move,” She said brushing her hand down his ripped body. Brushing further his hardened tent in his boxers, he let a moan escape. “What here?” He gasped shocked as he looked around the empty gym. Her deep laughter stole his attention back as she shook her head amused. “Well if you fancy it, but I meant when we get home,” she chuckled.
“I think he’s broken,” Changkyun’s voice pierced attempted to break his memory’s. The concerning voices of his friends falling back to inaudible as his mind continued to race the new memory’s he finally sought.
Door smashing into the wall from Hyunwoo’s desperate passion now he decided to let himself loose on her. Lips, tongues and teeth clashing as their hands couldn’t stop exploring each others body’s. Cradling her, he took her to the bedroom tossing her on the bed. The impact harsh as he apologised before she reassured him she was fine. Tearing each others clothing between hasty kisses that Hyunwoo almost died that second. Her pretty perky breasts standing to attention as he inwardly groaned with how much his cock was strained. Like a crazed animal devouring his prey it wasn’t long before he was between her legs. The feeling of himself being crushed by her walls was making him lose his mind. Her whimpers not helping his impatient state. “Slow down baby,” she whimpered snapping him from his hungry need. Her fingers lacing with his as her eyes hypnotised him as his movements slowed. “Hyunwoo,” she cried as he called her by her name too. “Don’t leave me,” she pleaded as he promised her as he made love to the girl he was crazy about.
“Really what the hell dude,” Hoseok spluttered as Changkyun chuckled. “He’s broken and horny,” Jooheon sniggered amused at Hyunwoo’s apparent erection. But before he could make comment the memory’s continue to flood in.
The pain of the arguments followed the feeling of falling apart. It left Hyunwoo whimpering just from the memory. He could feel the knowledge he was losing her. She had become well known and successful in her career and it felt like he was being left behind. The call of the job that she desperately wanted hit his ears. She didn’t know that he was standing in the hallway from her room. He felt wrong for earwigging, but the minute he heard her excitement he was glad. Sorrow hitting in when she heard the pain fall from knowing she had to leave Seoul. He knew she was crazy in love with him and knew she would sacrifice her career. He loved her too much to let her lose her future, her dreams. Storming the room startling her as she apologised with a promise to call them back. “Baby,” she cried looking at him as she fought to shake her emotions. “We need to talk,” Hyunwoo said hastily, but he knew if he didn’t act while his impulse desire was on fire that second, he knew he never would. “What about,” she said looking at him with the pure devoted love he knew would mess her future up with. “I’m seeing someone,” Hyunwoo inwardly cursed himself for such a horrible excuse. “What,” she said as pain laced her thoughts, horror on her expression as your heart beat so crazy. “I’m leaving you,” he said as he pinched himself, forcing the tears threatening to subside. “What?” She cries walking to him at speed as her hands fall to his collar. “Baby, why you saying this?” she cry’s as Hyunwoo’s conscience begins to struggle. “Because it’s true, you deserve better then me,” he said pushing her from him that she stumbled slightly. His hands reaching to pull her back from falling broke his heart. It was as if by touching her his resolve was faltering. The desire to be greedy to call himself out on his lie and keep her to himself was high. But he had to sacrifice the relationship they had for her career. He placed her sobbing body on the bed as he choked back a tear turning to walk away. Her overwhelming confusion tear filled face haunting him.
“Where is this bloody ambulance,” Hoseok cursed as tears began falling from Hyunwoo’s face. “Any sign of them waking yet?” Changkyun asked Jooheon who was still trying to arouse the other two from there unconscious state.
The pain of living without his beloved was overbearing. The drinks heavily trying to numb the pain he threw himself into. It had been a year and through out that whole time the pain hadn’t eased once. It was like he saw her sobbing face every single minute he closed his eyes. Dreams of the good times and nightmares of the worse, brought tears every morning he woke. Hearing that she had sought success in America was a bitter pill to swallow. She looks so healthy and happy as if she didn’t miss him one single bit. The rage in him that it was easier for her then himself made him bitter. Hyunwoo’s days was filled with bitterness and large amounts of alcohol. Friends thrown aside in fear of being close to anyone he would have to abandon again. When depression sunk him so deep that suicidal thoughts plunged his mind, he was saved. This memory was a little more fractured as he tried to dig harder. Knowing how he got his powers was something he couldn’t remember. The safe warm arms of Kihyun hitting his fragile sobbing body filled his mind. “I can save you, take your pain away,” Yoo Kihyun, Hyunwoo’s saviour said as he nodded. The feeling of his torture being taken from him was a blessing as if he was an angel sucking Hyunwoo’s soul from everything dark. But along with that went his memory’s, every single memory of Sunyoung.
Horror filled his mind, had he pushed her into the arms of her abuser while he had forgotten her. Guilt filled his conscience as he almost choked on his tears. “Let me see him,” he heard the voice of him saving him once more. “I remember,” you cried locking your eyes on Kihyun in your living room. “It’s ok,” Kihyun said throwing his hand through his hair that he closed his eyes to further more flashbacks.
“What did i do?” Hyunwoo cried out to him as he looked at the unconscious body of a helpless person. “It’s ok, somehow your powers called out to you,” Kihyun said tilting his head at his confused elder. “Huh?” Hyunwoo said in despair. “You can remove minds, it’s a error how you got this but somehow you do,” Kihyun said with his calm aura that told you to trust him.
Hyunwoo had gained his powers through him removing his memory’s. He looked up at Kihyun before his eyes fell back to Sunyoung. “Save her please,” he cried, desperate for her to be ok. “Ok,” Kihyun said standing. “Lets see if I can wake them,” he said walking towards Sunyoung. His hand feeling her pulse as he smiled. Removing her cardigan her broach flicked to the floor as she woke breathing heavily. Hyunwoo saw the clip of the broach spin as he looked up towards her. “Is she ok?” Minhyuk’s voice filled the air as you saw him fling his arms around her. Jealousy biting you in that sharp second. “She’s ok, but now the ambulance is here it won’t harm you all to be checked over,” Kihyun said looking at Hyunwoo with concern.
“What’s happening?” Hyunwoo whispered to Kihyun when the doctors had left his hospital bed. “You took the girl who’s memory’s you removed from your own. That’s a rare thing to happen so it was bound to be that nature decided to gift yours back,” he said leaning his hands onto his own thighs. “But where was my memory’s from us when I took hers? I didn’t sense them,” He questioned as Kihyun shrugged. “My guess is because they was ones stolen from yours that they couldn’t be retrieved by yourself during the process,” Kihyun said as Hyunwoo bit his lip in thought. “Why didn’t I noticed the signs, she didn’t even look fazed by my presence,” he questioned. “Again my only explanation is she fell out of love with you. Her pain from her former lover just overwhelmed yours,” he said placing a fake smile. Hyunwoo wondered if this meant did she even love him. She didn’t look like she cared moving onto her career so easily. The negativity biting him once more as he closed his eyes. “You need to let that bitterness go,” Kihyun said looking at him with concern. “How can I when each second I feel that crippling pain as if it never left,” Hyunwoo whimpered. “You numbed it by removing the memory’s. Nothing was done to relieve the pain. Seems that really is your next move,” Kihyun said as he threw his head back in despair. “I think she and Minhyuk is a thing. This couldn’t be any worse,” Hyunwoo crumbled closing his eyes. “I don’t think so, if Minhyuk was such a huge person in her life she wouldn’t have been in pain,” Kihyun said bringing Hyunwoo hope. “Wait you saying she doesn’t have feelings for him?” Hyunwoo said excited. “I’m a memory remover not a mind reader,” Kihyun scoffed as Hyunwoo huffed. “But if I had to guess, Minhyuk crushes over her, but she doesn’t feel anything because of her former lover,” he said looking Hyunwoo’s way as he frowned. “Not you the other one,” Kihyun said rolling his eyes.
Kihyun’s words mulled in Hyunwoo’s mind as he went to check on her. Relief hitting when he realised she was alone. “Sunyoung,” he called nervously. “Oh your..….. sorry I can’t seem to remember,” she said slightly distressed. “I’m a friend, a friend of yours and Minhyuk’s,” Hyunwoo exaggerated. “Oh really,” she said smiling before looking sad. “I can’t seem to remember anything, the doctors think somehow I hit my head,” she said looking down at her hands. She looked so fragile that Hyunwoo wanted to squash her with hugs. The need to feel her in his arms once more cursing through his body. “Yes you did I was there,” he said feeling guilty for manipulating her. “Hopefully it will come back soon, it will right?” she asked looking hopeful. “I’m sure it will,” he replied holding her fragile hand in his. “How close are we?” She asked looking at you with confusion. “Close friends,” Hyunwoo whispered almost slipping that she was his lover from his lips. But his lies had caused too much pain as it was in that relationship. “What can you remember?” Hyunwoo asked into the awkward silence. “Minhyuk bringing me to meet you, but I can’t remember anything after,” she said struggling as he gently squeezed her hand. “You remember Minhyuk then?” You asked as she nodded. “He’s my,” he said pausing as she looked confused. “Wait I don’t remember how I know him,” she whimpered. “It’s ok baby,” Hyunwoo choked rubbing his thumb over her hand as her long hair hit his face . The smell of her lemon shampoo hitting his nostrils. He had missed this smell of her favourite shampoo. “Do you remember your ex?” Hyunwoo asked closing his eyes. “That’s something strange I know I had a relationship I can feel it, like my memory’s locked. But I just can’t seem to see them. I’ve tried really tried,” she said looking up to him. He was sad she had not remembered their moments. But knowing that she didn’t have to think of her other ex was a blessing. The memory’s of what he witnessed flooding his own. Anger at her pain and hurt overwhelmed him. “Are you ok?” She said looking up to him with those beautiful eyes he loved so much. “Yes sorry, just in a lot of pain. I bumped my head too just I didn’t lose my memory’s,” Hyunwoo said as she smiled warmly. “I wish i could have Mine back,” she moaned. “I just remember feeling safe and secure, it’s a feeling I want back so badly,” she said leaning her head on his shoulder. The move made him smile at their close contact but at the same time feeling of anger that she would cherish her memory’s of her abuser. “There is one memory I can kind of remember,” she said as you look to her to continue. “The feeling of sand beneath my toes, crashing waves and being so in love. I see him but not his face, his crazy coloured shorts but he’s so funny I told him I loved him instead of how crazy he was,” she chuckled as Hyunwoo froze. Hyunwoo struggled to form words. She wasn’t picking her memory’s from her abuser. That was him, the first time she told him she loved him. She did hold him in her heart after all, she didn’t forget him. His heart swelled as he looked down, the chemistry buzzing between them. In that second Hyunwoo knew he needed to fight for her. It was his chance to woo her all over again.
Before Hyunwoo could speak Minhyuk walked through the door. His eyes looking confused at the close contact of them both. Hyunwoo’s sure he saw his friend fist ball, confirming to him that his feelings was more then the friendly term he made him believe. “Sunny,” he pouted as he made his way to her taking his hand from her hold. “I’ve been so worried about you?” He said as she looked at him confused. “She’s lost her memory’s remember,” Hyunwoo said looking at him for being so naive. “But you couldn’t have forgotten me right,” Minhyuk chuckled as she looked sorrowful his way. “Sunny you didn’t forget me right?” he repeated in fear pulling her free hand to his hold too. “I know theirs something or someone but my mind is just so vague. I know your Minhyuk though,” she said as he cut her off. “Baby you know it’s me right, I’m that person,” he said pouting. “Really?” She said tilting her head confused as Hyunwoo struggled to hold back a laughter at her being unsure. “How did I tell you I loved you?” She said arms folded looking suspicious. Hyunwoo copied looking his way ready to laugh when he would fail to convince her. “We was on the beach you took me there to sunbathe and mock my horrid dress sense of smugglers,” he chuckled as Hyunwoo choked. How did he know you both had met to use the story as his own. Hyunwoo was feeling anger at her being played. But then how had Minhyuk known that story. His own memory of that was erased and he had come in to his life after his memory’s had been removed.
Minhyuk had made friends with him at the local cafe he worked in. Many nights spent on his laptop researching his new talent. It was the slip of Minhyuk’s eyes that had his secret revealed to him. “Really why can’t I remember?” Sunyoung whimpered as she removed her hand from yours falling into Minhyuk. “You will do soon I’m sure it’s that fall,” he said cradling her. “What happened I can’t remember,” she said holding him that Hyunwoo closed his eyes full of jealousy. “I don’t know they said maybe there was a gas escape or something, isn’t that right Hyunwoo?” Minhyuk asked stealing his thoughts to look his friends way. Nodding he stood not bearing to see them close together any more. “You ok mate?” Minhyuk questioned concerned. “Yes just I need air,” he replied as Minhyuk raised his smile half heartedly his way.
“What’s going on?” Hyunwoo asked Kihyun, annoyed with the situation. “I don’t honestly know,” Kihyun said placing his hand on his shoulder. “Is Minhyuk playing games? That was our memory I just know it was,” Hyunwoo said in pain. “I don’t think he is, maybe something happened for your memory to be mixed up,” he said looking at him closely as if he was trying to see in to his mind. His eyes flashed to his fingers as he looked in shock. “Wait those energy rings, was you both wearing them?” Kihyun asked as Hyunwoo nodded. “He said that you gifted him them to help with energy during my sessions,” Hyunwoo said looking confused. “I did but I wonder if by Sunyoung being the girl that somehow he has some of your memory’s too? Maybe by sharing energy your sharing memories,” Kihyun said still looking at the ring. “So he is in love with her too because he has my memory’s?” Hyunwoo questioned. “That’s a big possibility,” he replied as Hyunwoo felt like screaming at how messed up the situation was. “How can I get her memory’s back?” Hyunwoo asked. “It’s really hard, very hard. Look what you’ve had to endure,” he said as Hyunwoo threw his hands down his face. “So basically me and Minhyuk have the same memory’s. We’re both in love with her and he wins her while I suffer in silence once more,” Hyunwoo cry’s out. Kihyun pats his shoulder to bring calm his way. “Look I will speak to someone who could advise me better,” Kihyun said reassuringly. “But for now go back to the hospital, spend time with her, woo her all over again,” he said pep talking his way.
Hyunwoo had done exactly that, shadowing Minhyuk and her relationship. Most the time he sat their silently just watching them. The pain of watching them together crushed him but he knew Minhyuk wasn’t to blame. But their was moments when it was just them two and every second between them both was peaceful. Every smile she made his way was what kept him from losing his mind. So when Hyunwoo got the call that Kihyun was home he rush to him.
“I have to do what?” Hyunwoo scoffed. “Look I know it’s hard but you never really wanted them anyway,” Kihyun said rolling his eyes. “Not that I couldn’t care less if i lost that ability. I didn’t even want it in the first place,” Hyunwoo scoffed. “About the kiss?” He whispered blushing. “True love’s kiss, how very Disney right,” Kihyun scoffed as Hyunwoo deadpanned his way. “True love breaks your curse,” Kihyun chuckled. “Do you really think this is funny?” Hyunwoo said sounding annoyed. “No I don’t sorry,” Kihyun apologised. “She’s in love with Minhyuk how can I have a true loves kiss when she’s in love with someone else,” Hyunwoo moaned throwing himself into the awaiting chair. “Hyunwoo, her heart knows it’s you,” Kihyun said reassuringly. “And if it isn’t?” Hyunwoo said looking vulnerable. “What other option is available?” He said as Hyunwoo closed his eyes throwing his head back knowing he was right. “Right I’m ready to lose my powers,” Hyunwoo said standing as he pulled at his tie he was wearing. “That happens when you kiss her,” Kihyun said as he looked up at him. “Everything will be back how it was, you two in love, right now one has forgotten,” Kihyun said as Hyunwoo tilted his head. “Oh how easy this is going to be,” Hyunwoo replied sarcastically.
“You can have what ever you want,” Hyunwoo said smiling his way at Sunyoung. “You know I have a boyfriend, this won’t look good,” she says smiling pretending to be concerned. Like she can feel the pull from her stolen memories, she enjoys spending time with Hyunwoo. Not even being scared to hold his hand and let him hold her when she is sad, even though they both know it is wrong. “Then why accept lunch,” Hyunwoo smirks as she chuckles knowing she’s been caught. “I enjoy your company,” she said fluttering her eye lashes. “Doesn’t that tell you something?” Hyunwoo said more forward then usual. “Woah, confident Hyunwoo’s arrived,” she chuckled noticing it too. “Seriously though, I don’t know what this is, I know we shouldn’t be doing this but I can’t stop,” she said breathing in deeply that Hyunwoo felt guilty. “It’s what ever it needs to be,” he said half heartedly. He knew that what they was doing was unfair to his friend. The memory’s in Minhyuk’s mind might be wrong, but they to him felt right. “I should be running right now,” she grumbles. “Well you better start before the heat gets unbearable,” Hyunwoo teased. “Are you flirting with your life Son Hyunwoo,” She chuckled as he nodded. “Something like that,” he said as the waiter came to take their order. Your hands taking her you smiled when she didn’t remove them as she read the order out. Just as you was about to give yours her phone rang. Minhyuk’s name flashing as they both looked at each other, guilt eating them both. “You better answer that,” Hyunwoo said losing his confidence in that sharp second. Minhyuk had asked her where she was. Flirting blurring the friendship line for something she couldn’t explain was one thing. Lying to her boyfriend was another. It wasn’t long before awkward long silence hit when Minhyuk arrived sliding beside her. The most passionate kiss between them that felt like a warning Hyunwoo’s way.
Hyunwoo had given up hope losing all his confidence as the pain of there relationship ate away at him. He had even started avoiding them both, locking himself away as he felt the pain of his loss return. Reaching for the whisky bottle he sunk his last glass as his mind swirled in drunken pain. Sunyoung’s name on his phone calling him did little to break his despair. Flipping the phone over so he didn’t have to witness another love sick call he closed his eyes.
As soon as sleep fell he was woken to the door knocking. Finding Sunyoung standing their soaking wet shivering broke his heart. “What’s up? what’s happened?” Hyunwoo said thankful that his words wasn’t slurred. “He’s left me,” she cried as pain engulfed him from her heartbreak. “What do you mean?” Hyunwoo said confused as he pulled her wet body into him. “He’s left me, he said he’s seeing someone else,” she whimpered as he closed his eyes. “Why does every person I date leave me for someone else,” she cried as his heart broke. Minhyuk had followed the same path then him. He wanted to fight him for breaking her heart, but he had no right when he made her believe he had done the same. “I thought you couldn’t remember your previous lovers?” Hyunwoo questioned her hoping some memory of him was stirring. Even if it was the negative one it was still a memory that could unlock her emotions. “It was odd, it was like déjà vu. I wish I could explain it,” she said snuggling into him. “I understand I think,” Hyunwoo said with mixed emotions. His hands played with her hair as he realised she needed to get out the wet clothes. “Let’s get you dried up,” he said going to his room. Returning he placed the towel and his spare clothes her way. “Bathroom down the corridor,” he said as she made her way down. Dialling on the phone he waited with baited breath for Minhyuk to answer but he didn’t. The urge to punch him was overwhelming. “There is no point ringing him, he left his phone behind,” Sunyoung said behind him as he looked confused her way. “He left it on the bed when he left me,” she said looking tearful again. Hyunwoo heart stung he had done exactly the same, it was like Minhyuk was re-enacting there split. “You wasn’t on the phone to a new job was you by any chance?” Hyunwoo asked awkwardly as she raised an eyebrow. “No,” she scoffed sounding insulted. “Sorry it was just, yeah don’t worry about it,” Hyunwoo said smiling his way at her. “I’m sure he will come to his senses,” Hyunwoo said opening his arms once more that she happily snuggled into. “I noticed you use the same shampoo,” she chuckled as he mirrored letting her head vibrate on his chest from the sound. “Yeah it’s a smell that I’ve come to like,” he confessed knowing the scent was his favourite thing of hers. “Minhyuk buys it all the time,” she chuckled as Hyunwoo rolled his eyes. Sharing memories was really becoming frustrating.
“Do you want a drink?” Hyunwoo said changing the subject. “Do you have any left?” She chuckled as he clicked his tongue. “I’ve always got good drinks,” he smirked as she chuckled holding him tighter. “I take that as a no?” He said pulling him around her tighter as the connection between them both felt safe and secure. “Just don’t leave me,” she whimpered as if she couldn’t keep her emotions in check. The pain in her voice told you she was struggling with emotions her memory couldn’t help. Feeling the sudden urge to push for them to be returned he placed his finger under her chin. Crashing his lips to her softly he kissed her. Her own moving slowly and passionately as her fingers grabbed to the back of his T-shirt. Hyunwoo felt as if his heart was going to combust. This was it, time to get her memory’s back, get her by his side forever and having his happy ever after, even if he lost his ability to remove memories.
Guilt wasn’t something this time Kihyun had, Hyunwoo had crossed the line when he abused Hyungwon’s mind. It made him angry and the plan set beneath him was perfect. Excitement filled him with the chance to mess with his mind and heart. He could hear footsteps coming his way and he couldn’t wait to fill in the details of Hyunwoo’s final pain. When he would realise that the kiss would do nothing, he knew his pain would engulf him once more.
“I can feel it, the confusion it’s exciting. We finally got our revenge,” Kihyun says out to his visitor who finally arrived. “What happens to her?” The voice said concerned. “I will wipe her memory’s before the confusion haunts her. She will never know she was just someone who held your memory’s,” Kihyun said turning to face the guilt ridden expression befalling him. “Trust me she won’t know, she won’t remember. He will though he will suffer for leaving you all those years back,” Kihyun said reassuringly. “I trust you,” he said not sorrowfully. “Deal is a deal I suppose, let’s remove your memory’s of him finally,” Kihyun said pouring the frankincense into a bowl. “Will it hurt like the other time,” he replied worrying. “No that was just because your memory’s was flowing between you three,” Kihyun smiled as Minhyuk took his seat. Ready to finally let go of every memory of the lover who left him behind.
To be continued ……..
Masterlist
#kpop smut#kpopidol#fiction#monsta x smut#son hyunwoo smut#lee minhyuk smut#chae hyungwon#yoo kihyun#lee hoseok#lee jooheon#im changkyun
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Can We Call This Love? (Blow Up One More)
Pairing: Kihyun X Hyungwon
Genre: Angst, Implied Smut, e2l?
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 458
Summary: Hyungwon and Kihyun were made specifically not to get along with each other but fate (read: a friend with questionable understandings of them) brings them together.
Warning(s): Implied smut, friends with benefits? maybe?, ambiguous relationship, enemies to fwb?
[a/n]: Mom, look I'm actually posting! I had to reread this fic cause I have no idea what I wrote but it was for a tipsy drabble like a century ago. Inspired by the line "toxic, but I like it" from Beautiful Liar. Hope you enjoy!
Kihyun knew whatever was going on was unhealthy, but it wasn’t like he was planning to stop.
Chae Hyungwon was everything Yoo Kihyun hated amalgamated into a single person. Unnecessarily tall, overconfident, good looking and well aware of it, making him unbearably smug. They met through their mutual friend who, for some reason, thought they would get along well together. It definitely didn’t end up like that.
There was not a minute in the time that Kihyun and Hyungwon knew each other that there weren’t bickering over the smallest things imaginable. One was too self absorbed, the other too proud to ever concede anything. Despite the fact that they often said they hated each other, there was something that kept pulling them back together, and once they started, it was as if the rest of the world ceased to exist around them.
So it was both surprising yet unsurprising when Hyungwon offered to let Kihyun move in with him when Minhyuk told him that he was going to move in with Hyunwoo when their lease ended. Their friends joked about having to keep the cops on speed dial in case the two strangled each other to death or something, knowing full well that things were just waiting to go wrong.
Kihyun tip toed around Hyungwon for a bit, seeing that he was the one intruding, but once the comfort set in, the two went back to fighting near constantly. It was only time before the rage and proximity combined turned the lingering sexual tension between then up to eleven. The only way they could get the other to listen to them was by fucking the life out of them.
The sex was amazing, and it kept them coming back for more, even when they felt like they’d reached the end of the wire, that it was time to finally call things off, all it would take was for one of them to grab the other by their neck and smash their lips together, and within minutes they would be falling apart in each other’s arms, bickering long forgotten.
“Why do we do this to ourselves?” Kihyun had asked one night as they lay next to each other, naked and tired, nearly a year after they’d moved in together.
Hyungwon laughed, bringing Kihyun’s thumb up to his lips and biting gently into the skin. “Because we’re both messed up, and there’s no one else who’s going to put up with that.” He mused for a moment before adding, “Also the sex is really good.”
“Toxic,” Kihyun said, pushing his thumb further into Hyungwon’s mouth so that he’d wrap his plush lips around it, “but I like it.”
#monsta x#monsta x fanfic#kihyun#hyungwon#kihyun x hyungwon#rainingmxmnet#monsta x smut#monsta x angst#tipsy drabbles
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Always on time - Chapter 8
Pairing: Jooheon x female OC
Genre: childhood friends to enemies, enemies to friends, friends to lovers, smut (later chapters), fluff, angst, slow burn, idol AU!
Warning: mentions of mental health issues, mentions of workaholic disorder, curse words
Words:
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Chapter 8
Two and a half weeks. Two and a half weeks had passed since Julie started working as a curator on Minhyuk’s project. Two and a half weeks in which Julie had seen, talked, worked, had lunch with Lee Jooheon from Monday to Friday, and today, Wednesday, at last, she was going to have a day of work WITHOUT him.
To be fair, Jooheon had helped a lot in the last few days. In fact, Julie was quite impressed with the level of commitment and detail that the rapper was putting into the project. While it is true that art was not his forte, the reason he had gone to the gallery all these days was to study and try to understand a little more about the process of setting up an exhibition. Rei and Mr. Kim were delighted with Jooheon’s professionalism and Julie could not complain much about him, he had been quieter and more serious than she expected.
The problem was not, of course, the commitment of the rapper; the problem was that Julie was uneasy whenever he was close. And since she was in charge of the exhibition, well, she had him around most of the time.
The day they went to Minhyuk’s apartment they both managed to take pictures of all the singer’s works and Julie was trying to put together a catalog that had a clear and coherent guiding thread and storyline. She had several conceptual ideas and options, but as all final decisions regarding the exhibition must have the corresponding approval, she could do nothing without Jooheon’s opinion. Julie already knew she was going to be in constant contact with Jooheon, but she never imagined that he would come to the gallery every day and spend eight or more hours with her in the office studying the different conceptual lines that Julie wanted to develop.
From reading about art theory to researching previous exhibits with similar aesthetics, Jooheon was open to anything... And, of course, all those hours of work were done in Julie’s office, and while there was nothing wrong with that at first glance, Julie was overwhelmed. So, the expectation of having HER office just for her for a whole day made her very happy.
"Good morning, Rei," Julie said as she entered.
"Good morning, Julie," replied the other curator. "Did something good happen? You look happy."
"Really?" asked Julie without making a big deal of it. "Mmm, no, nothing special happened. I guess I slept well last night".
"Wait," Rei said before Julie went to her office, "Jooheon-ssi left this for you".
"What?"
"He told me that he had some commitments today and that he would not be able to come to work, but that this information could be useful for the exhibition that you are organizing," Rei explained while handing Julie a manila envelope with several documents.
Julie grabbed the envelope, thanked Rei, and left for her office. She threw the unopened envelope on the desk and turned on the computer. She worked all morning without resting and didn’t realize what time it was until someone knocked on her office door.
"Knock, knock," Areum said as she poked her head through the door of Julie’s office. "May I?"
"Areum-ah, hi!" greeted Julie. "What are you doing here? Don’t tell me we had plans and I forgot".
"No, no, not at all" her friend reassured her. "I left a meeting earlier than I thought and decided to stop by and see if you wanted to have coffee".
"What time is it? We can go have lunch," Julie replied.
"It’s three o'clock, Julie".
At that moment, Julianne noticed the clock on her computer and realized that she had spent seven hours in front of her computer non-stop... and without going to the bathroom.
"I think I lost track of time," she said as she got up and ran to the bathroom. "Give me about five minutes and we leave, okay?"
Minutes later, Julie was walking back to her office ready to go have lunch with Areum, but when she opened the door, she ran into the last person she wanted to see that day.
"Jooheon-ssi?" she asked. "Why... what are you doing here?"
"Jooheon-ah was telling me about the project you are organizing together," Areum replied and Julie did not miss the tone of question and slight reproach of her friend. "It seems... different from everything you’ve worked on before, Julie-ah".
"Ah... yes, well, it’s different" Julie said. "But in any case... I thought you had other commitments today, Jooheon-ssi".
"Yes, that’s right. I only came by to give you this," he said as he handed Julie a clear plastic folder with several documents inside. "I asked Rei to give you an envelope with some documents from the market research I’ve been doing over the last few days, but I forgot to include these surveys. You could use them to decide the theme of the Minhyuk-hyung’s exhibition".
"Oh, sure. Thank you, Jooheon-ssi, I’ll read them when I can," Julie replied. "Now, you’ll have to excuse us, but Areum-ah and I were going out to..."
"Do you want to come with us?" Areum asked interrupting Julie. "There’s a café nearby where Julie and I go often, what do you say? I’m buying".
Julie froze on the spot from what Areum had just said. What the fuck, Areum-ah? she thought as she gave a warning look to her friend.
"Thank you, Areum-ah, but I have to go," Jooheon replied, letting Julie breath again. "But I could take you there, I came in my car, so...".
"It’s not necessary" said Julie immediately. "We don’t want to be a bother and the coffee shop is close enough, we can walk and it’s good exercise".
Areum was going to intervene, but she thought better and decided only to observe the situation. She’d have a lot to ask her friend about later.
"It’s no bother," Jooheon said calmly and a little upset. Two weeks had passed, and Julie was still keeping the distance between the two. At first, Jooheon had understood, or tried to understand, the distance between the two because 1) they had not seen each other for years, and 2) they were in a professional environment where she had to take care of the appearances. The latter Jooheon understood it better than anyone and so he had decided to start by building a professional relationship and then get his friend back, but instead of moving forward, Jooheon felt like he was walking backwards. What frustrated him the most was that, as much as he thought about it, he couldn’t find a reason to justify Julie’s attitude. "I can drive you without problem, so you don’t have to walk even more on those shoes anymore".
"What about my shoes?" Julie asked defensively.
"They’re new, right?" Jooheon said. "Don’t your feet hurt a bit? And there are bandage wraps on your desk, do you have blisters? If you’ve been walking all day as you usually do, your feet are definitely swollen".
"I’ve been sitting all day," Julie replied dryly as she put the transparent folder Jooheon had brought her on a pile of clearly forgotten papers.
"Thank you, Jooheon-ah," Areum intervened, "but the cafe is too close to need a ride. And, you see, Julie-ah here, she hasn’t eaten all day and, well, her sugar dropped, so I think it’s best to feed the beast as soon as possible".
"Sure, sure," Jooheon said with a dry laugh. "Anyway, I have to go. Enjoy your meal. See you tomorrow, Jules".
"Sure".
Seconds later, Jooheon was leaving Julie’s office and left the two friends alone. Please don’t ask me anything, Areum, don’t ask me anything, Julie prayed in her head.
"Well, let’s eat," Areum said, holding Julie by the arm.
Areum took Julie to the cafe without saying a word, but always holding her hand. Julie knew her friend had thousands of questions to ask her, but Areum was smart enough to know that on an empty stomach she wouldn’t get information.
Both friends sat in the restaurant and Areum began to talk about her day, the last conversation she had with her mother, a bag she had seen online and wanted to buy, how shattered the last chapter of the drama she was watching had left her... Anyway, anything to pass the time. As Areum spoke, Julie stared at her and nodded from time to time; then they brought them food and Julie ate quietly as Areum continued to talk and talk.
Areum spoke so much, that Julie chose to relax a little, as she trusted her friend not to ask her anything about Jooheon. At least not that day at that cafe.
Big mistake.
The truth was that Areum was waiting for Julie to relax and lower the defenses a little to bring up the subject; goal that was achieved about thirty minutes after having arrived at the place.
"Ugh, well, I’ve talked a lot, don’t you think?" Areum said as Julie finished her coffee. "Your turn, what’s new?"
By the tone of voice, Julie knew she had to choose her words well, otherwise, Areum could either keep insisting or even got to Jooheon and ask him personally.
"Just work," replied Julie. "Kang-Dae is away and my mom is busy with the remodeling of the house, so yes... I’ve just been working. As you can see, it’s a new project".
"Yes, I saw," Areum said. "A new project with Lee Jooheon. How did that happen?".
"It just happened. I can’t say much, but he’s only helping a friend".
Areum was silent waiting for Julie to elaborate on her response, although she knew that when her friend decided not to speak anymore, there was no force on earth able to change her mind.
"Okay, so... what are you doing on Sunday? Are we going shopping?"
______________________________________
After leaving Julie’s office, Jooheon went straight to his car and went to the Retreat Center where he received his sessions with Dr. Choi. The last two weeks he had gone during lunchtime at the gallery so he could work full time and help Julie. The routine was the same as on the first day: Jooheon arrived, Dr. Choi invited him in, and he sat as far away as possible from the doctor’s desk. She, for her part, spoke a little, asked basic questions to which Jooheon responded with simple phrases or monosyllables, and after about ten minutes of uncomfortable interactions, the doctor focused on preparing her classes and Jooheon fell asleep on the couch. Fifty minutes later, the rapper said goodbye to the psychologist, who accompanied him to the exit of the center and told him that she expected to see him the following week.
This week would be a little different. In the morning he helped Kihyun move to his new apartment and then would go to Dr. Choi’s office around four in the afternoon. Apparently, there was a cycle of lectures in which the doctor participated as a speaker, so they had to push the time of the session.
It was 3:30 p.m., but since he had nothing better to do, Jooheon went straight to the Center from the gallery and decided he would wait for the doctor for a while. When he arrived, he greeted the receptionist and other people who worked in the center and decided to walk a little through the garden. There was no one there, so Jooheon enjoyed the silence and freshness of the breeze for a while. He noticed that the land was much larger than what you could see at first glance; if you went a little further into the garden, there were picnic tables, a small ranch with a grill, and what looked like a greenhouse.
At one of the tables, Dr. Choi was sitting. She hadn’t seen Jooheon, she was very focused on reading something, but Jooheon could see that whatever was in her hands was making her smile.
The rapper felt a little bad towards the psychologist, after all, she was just doing her job and he had not been the personification of sympathy in the sessions. Dr. Choi didn’t seem like a bad person and Jooheon still remembered how she stood up to Director Park and imposed her own conditions; the problem was that Jooheon was not ready to trust anyone and, even if he was, he wouldn’t know where to start talking.
Anyway, he decided to come over and say hello to the doctor.
"Doctor Choi?" he asked.
"Jooheon-ssi? Hi," she replied, "I wasn’t expecting you for another half hour".
"Yeah, well, I finished early and came to wait for you," he said.
"You can sit down if you want" the doctor invited him. "At this time the garden is the most peaceful place in the whole city".
"I noticed," Jooheon replied as he sat in front of the doctor. "I didn’t know the place was this big".
"Yes, we are fortunate to have this little oasis of silence," she said.
A few minutes of silence followed in which Dr. Choi continued to read the documents in front of her and Jooheon let his mind blank. He looked through what he could see of the garden and the building that seemed to be a greenhouse, but after a while, he focused on what looked like a drawing that was under all the documents of the doctor.
"Do you draw?" Jooheon asked suddenly.
"Here and there, yes" the doctor replied as she looked up from her reading material. "It relaxes me and helps me stop thinking".
"Oh, I see".
"Do you like art, Jooheon-ssi?"
"Well... in a certain way? Yes" Jooheon said without much security. "I don’t paint or anything, but one of my closest friends does and he’s amazing".
"Yeah, well, when it comes to art, you don’t need to be an expert to enjoy it," the doctor replied. "You just need to feel something from it, that’s enough. And if you think about it, everything in life is like that, don’t you think?"
"I guess... yes".
Again, silence. But unlike what one might think, it was not an awkward silence. In fact, Dr. Choi looked so comfortable without saying anything, she made Jooheon relax as well. He was used to having to talk all the time, so the change was refreshing.
"I must confess something, Jooheon-ssi," the doctor said after a few minutes. "I’m not used to digging into my patients' lives, so you understand that even if you’re a public figure, when you became my patient, I didn’t look for anything about you or your music. But a few days ago, one of my younger patients showed me one of your band’s songs and I was really impressed. While it is not the style of music that my ears appreciate at my age and I do not follow idol groups, your songs are really good".
"Oh, thank you, doctor," Jooheon said a little surprised by the sudden confession. "I really appreciate it".
"And... well, I have a question, I hope you don’t mind".
"Not at all. What is it?"
"Are you people even human?"
"JAJAJAJA, excuse me?" Jooheon said in a fit of laughter.
"That went wrong," the doctor said, "I mean, you jump, dance, run, and sing… all at the same time. How is that possible? I have treated all kinds of athletes and I assure you that none of them can do what you do. How is that humanly possible?"
"Well... training," Jooheon replied after calming down a bit. "The athletes have different workouts and training processes than us, but it’s just that. It’s nothing special, just... many hours of practice".
"Just that? No, no" the doctor corrected. "It’s definitely something special. Not everyone can be an athlete, and not everyone can be an idol. I know the way I asked could have been better, that must have startled you. Anyway" continued Dr. Choi as she stood up, "I have to go back to the office, my students' essays will not be reviewed alone. See you next week?"
"But our session was at 4," Jooheon said perplexed.
"Yes, that’s true, but I think what we talked about these minutes is enough for today, don’t you think?" the doctor replied with a smile. "What do you think about going back to the usual schedule next week?"
"Ehhh, yes, of course," Jooheon said.
"Perfect. Come, I’ll walk you out".
_________________________________________
Thursday
"Jooheon-ssi," Jules said, "I need you to go with Rei and review the layout of the catalog options for the exhibition. I haven’t heard back from the printing house, and I need the physical copies so I can approve them. Maybe you’ll have to go over there and ask them personally".
"Sure, Jules," Jooheon said as he rose from the improvised desk he had set up in Julie’s office. Although “improvised” was a saying, as Mr. Kim himself insisted that, since Jooheon was collaborating with them so constantly, the least they could do was give him his own space, so they conditioned a desk with his computer and office supplies.
Fifteen minutes later, Jooheon returned to Julie’s office with a smile.
"It’s all settled, Jules," he said. "In a few minutes you will get the digital versions and in the afternoon they will bring the physical versions here to the gallery".
"What?" asked Jules perplexed. "They have no delivery service".
"Yeah, well, I’ve worked with them on Monsta X projects before. I called them and asked them about the copies and... it just happened," explained Jooheon, underscoring the issue.
"I see," Julie said quietly.
****
Friday
"Jooheon-ssi, I need you to go to Minhyuk-ssi’s apartment and check a couple of pieces".
"Sure, tell me which ones," Jooheon said.
It was 9:30 in the morning. Julie instructed Jooheon on what to do, as some photos did not look good on the printed paper and the photo had to be re-shot with another lighting. There were quite a few photos to take again, and Julie hoped that would take Jooheon the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon to complete the task.
However, twenty minutes after leaving the office, Jooheon returned with news.
"I spoke to Minhyuk hyung," he told Julie. "He’s in the apartment with Kihyun hyung and says they can take the pictures. Don’t worry, Kihyun may be delicate, but he knows about photography. In a couple of hours, they will send you the images".
Great, Julie thought.
****
Monday
Julianne arrived at her office at 8:00 a.m., as usual. Upon entering her office, however, she saw that one person was already there.
"Good morning, Jules" Jooheon greeted with a smile.
"Good morning, Jooheon-ssi," she said.
"I e-mailed you something a few minutes ago. Last week we reduced the concepts for the exhibition to three possibilities, but I think we could merge two of them. When you can, check the information I sent and tell me what you think".
"Okay, Jooheon-ssi," replied Julie. "I’ll see it as soon as I can".
***
Tuesday
"Jooheon-ssi" Jules called, "since we decided on the concept for the exhibition, we have to think about the order the pieces will have. I think it would be better if Minhyuk-ssi was involved in the selection. Could you meet him and define the order of the pieces?"
"It’s already done, Jules."
"Excuse me?"
"Yes," Jooheon said. "Yesterday I went to his apartment for dinner and showed him the general idea. He loved it and we started organizing the exhibition. I hadn’t told you because Minhyuk hyung wanted to check it out today, but he’ll certainly call you in the afternoon to talk about it and probably with the proposal ready".
"Oh, that’s perfect".
***
Wednesday
"Jooheon-ssi, I need you to go to this interior design studio to coordinate the decoration proposal for the exhibition. The meeting may last all morning and part of the afternoon, so you can take the day off and..."
Julianne’s desk phone started ringing, so she stopped what she was saying and took the call.
"Monarca Gallery, this is Seo Julianne... Nice to meet you, Mr. Park. How can I help you?... Ahhh, our exhibition.... Yes, yes, right... Ahhh, I see, of course.... Of course.... Yes, of course.... Well, you could send us your proposals by e-mail and we will review them for.... In person?... In the gallery?... Well, we should book the meeting and.... Mr. Kim?... Well, if the meeting is already scheduled with our director, there is nothing more to talk about. See you in the afternoon, Mr. Park.... You too, have a nice day".
Julianne hung up the call and then Director Kim came into her office.
"Julie-ssi" he said, "I imagine you just spoke to Mr. Park".
"Yes, sir. We just talked," she replied. "He informed me of today’s afternoon meeting to define the details of the decoration and design for Minhyuk-ssi’s exhibition".
"Perfect, great," said Director Kim. "I’m sorry I didn’t give you a heads-up. I talked to him yesterday after Jooheon-ssi introduced me to him and it all flowed very organically, you know? He is a well-known designer and the fact that he wants to collaborate with us on this project is a great opportunity. Maybe it will open other doors for us, so this meeting is very important".
"I understand, Mr. Kim," Julianne replied. "Don’t worry".
"I don’t think you’ll have any problem," Jooheon, who had been quiet so far, intervened. "Before I introduced him to you, I showed him past exhibits and he was very impressed with Jules' work. He said he wanted to meet you, so it’s sure to be a simple meeting".
"Excellent!" Mr. Kim said enthusiastically. "Well, see you later".
****
Thursday
"Well, this is the space where we will have the three pieces that will make up the center of the exhibition," Julianne explained. "As I detailed earlier, the idea is to enable the exterior ramp on the front facade of the gallery, which is usually used as an exit, for it to be the entrance to the exhibition. This way, the three floors of the building will be used and the route will be in the form of a spiral from the third to the center of the first floor".
"I love the idea," Mr. Park said. The man had not stopped praising the overall concept of the project since the previous day. "Because of the shape of the ceiling, it will not be difficult to assemble the light and fabric structure we talked about yesterday. What we do need to confirm is the color palette".
"We can work on that... tomorrow? Will you have time, Minhyuk-ssi?" Julie asked.
"I have a meeting tomorrow at 2:00 pm, but I could come to the gallery in the morning and after the meeting. Will that be enough time?" Minhyuk had had a very busy schedule in recent weeks, but he was impressed with the work that both Julie and Jooheon had done. From the concept and the colors to the arrangement and the order of the pieces, Minhyuk had done almost nothing but approve the proposals of both. While he had seen his friend work hard on this project, he knew that the mastermind behind it all was Julie and was sincerely impressed with the curator’s work, as was Mr. Park. That is why that day he had taken the time to go to the gallery and participate in the organization of the last details.
"Sure, we can have a tentative paddle tomorrow. We can then review it on Monday and Tuesday to be sure. That way, by Wednesday Mr. Park will have all the necessary details to begin with the production and arrangement of the interior of the gallery".
"I love it" Mr. Park said for the thousandth time. "This is the level of order and dedication that is needed in the world. I see why Jooheon-ah speaks so highly of you, Julie-ssi".
"I thank you, Mr. Park, shall we continue?"
****
Friday
"I’M SICK OF IT!" shouted Julie as she finished her third beer can.
"Wow, easy, tiger," Areum said. "What’s the matter?"
It was Friday night and both friends were gathered in Areum’s apartment for a night of ice cream, movies, pizza, and alcohol. That was the mix Julie needed to release the frustration she had felt for three weeks.
"Can you explain to me why he’s there?" Julie continued. "I mean... doesn’t he have a career to take care of? Doesn’t he have responsibilities or an agenda to fulfill? Why, why, WHY does he have to be in the gallery every day?"
"Oh, are you talking about Jooheon?" Areum asked. "I thought he was helping you".
"He can help in the distance. There’s no need for him to be in the gallery all day from Monday to Friday".
"But, Julie, if he helps you, what’s the problem? Jooheon is a good guy... stupid sometimes, but he’s a man after all".
"I’d rather he wasn’t there. It’s that AAAAARRRRGGGG"
"Well, calm down," Areum said. "Just give him some other tasks to get him out of the gallery and that’s it. If you’re so upset for having to see him, just ask him to pick up things or buy something or I don’t know."
"I’ve already tried, but he’s always one step ahead of me," Julie said. "I asked him to go collect some catalogs from the printing house. It’s two hours one way and two back, AH! But it turns out he knows the designer in charge, so instead of him going, they came to the gallery."
"Mmmmm, yeah, but isn’t that better?" Areum asked. "Maybe next time you don’t have to go either".
"I also sent him to meet with Minhyuk-ssi to organize the exhibition order. And what happened? Well, they had done it the night before!"
"Sure, but that made the process faster, didn’t it?" Areum continued, trying to calm her friend. "I mean, you would have had to wait another day or two and everything else would have been delayed".
"And on top of everything!" Julie continued without paying attention to her friend. "He takes the liberty of showing my work to Park Jung-Su and brings him to our gallery. I mean... who does he think he is?"
"Sure, because to recommend your work to one of the best interior designers in the country, who has thousands of contacts, is something sooooooo bad that, ufff, he deserves hell".
"I’m not in the mood for your sarcasm".
"Julianne, you’re not in the mood for anything," Areum replied sharply. She was fed up. "What the hell is wrong with you? I mean, you’re telling me that Lee Jooheon, your best friend from school, is working with you on a project, he’s efficient, he’s punctual, he’s creative, he solves problems, he recommends your work to other people, he does what you ask him to and on top of it he’s funny and he’s handsome AND YOU’RE COMPLAINING?"
"I DON’T WANT HIM THERE!" Julie replied. "All these years I lived perfectly happy without seeing his face and I’m sure he didn’t even remember my existence until a few weeks ago. Why couldn’t he stay like that?"
Areum was silent for a few moments. Then she sighed, settled into the sofa where both were sitting so that she saw Julie directly in the face, and spoke as calmly as possible:
"Look, Julie, I don’t understand. What did Jooheon do to you that you hate him so much?" Areum asked. That question had been on Areum’s head since the alumni meeting when she saw Julie rejecting Jooheon. That reaction was the last thing Areum expected since at school Julie and Jooheon had been super close and Julie had never mentioned any episode in which Jooheon offended her or anything like that. What’s more, Areum was sure that Julianne had been in love with Jooheon all through school, and suspected that the feelings had been mutual, but nothing was ever said and when Jooheon won the reality show to debut as part of Monsta X, they both lost touch.
"I don’t hate him," Julie said.
"Ah, no?" jumped Areum. "Sorry, I didn’t know that’s how you showed love".
"Don’t be ridiculous".
"I’m not being ridiculous. Something had to have happened for you to go from making lovey eyes at him to not standing seeing him in photography, Julie" Areum insisted. "I’m trying to understand, but I can’t. I just don’t see what’s wrong with Jooheon, so I just have to assume he did something to you to make you hate him so much, but if you don’t tell me what happened, I can’t guess".
"It was a long time ago, Areum-ah," Julie sighed.
"And yet it still bothers you. What happened?"
Julianne thought about it for a few minutes before answering. It was a story she hadn’t told anyone because, on the one hand, it hurt, and on the other, it was embarrassing. She still remembered how bad she felt at the time and was afraid to feel the same way again if she told someone what happened, but the truth is that she needed to vent her frustration and Areum had always supported her.
"Fine, I’ll tell you what happened" began Julianne. "But I need another beer".
"I’ll give it to you when you tell me. Now, spit it out".
"Arg, okay. Remember our senior year? At the end of the year, the reality show that Jooheon participated in started, so all the teachers helped him finish the year early and, well, after that came the recordings and so on..."
"Yes, I remember," Areum said. "I also remember that you kept talking about the bloody program and that despite being sunk in exams you always had a stupid smile on your face. Continue".
"Yeah, well, Jooheon and I still saw each other. We texted a lot, although he couldn’t tell me much about what was going on because it was part of reality, but we still told each other everything we could. I... I really missed him at the time and... I told him so".
"And..."
"The day they aired the No Mercy final, I couldn’t watch the episode. I remember Jooheon made me promise I’ll watch it, but that week, a cousin left town and I had to go take care of her cat at her apartment for a few days. I couldn’t watch the final because the cat ran away and I was looking all over town for it. When I gave up, I went back to the apartment and found Jooheon sitting in front of the door with the cat in his arms. He still had makeup on from the shoot, he looked like a ghost with so much white foundation".
Julie took a break before continuing to tell the story and this time Areum did not rush her. She realized it was a bittersweet memory for her friend, so she was giving her time to get her air back.
"Anyway, as soon as I saw him, I remembered the final of No Mercy and the first thing I did was apologize to him. Of course, he did a whole drama about it. I don’t know how many hours he complained about me not watching him win first place. In the end, we talked for hours, ate something, drank a little... and at that moment I realized how much I had missed him. I realized how I felt about him, that I liked him, and well, one thing led to another and... you know…."
"No, I don’t know," Areum said maliciously.
"Don’t play stupid, you know what I mean," Julie replied.
"What? That you guys fucked?" Areum snapped.
"Jeez, you don’t have to say it like that".
"Come on, Julie, we’re grown-ups. Don’t get all delicate over a word," Areum said. "Especially since that’s exactly what you did, am I right?"
"Yes… you are".
After that, there was a few moments of silence. Areum let the seconds pass before asking the next question.
"Julie-ah" she started, "Was Jooheon your first time?"
"No, he wasn’t, this is not that type of drama" Julie replied bluntly. Gladly he wasn’t, she said in her head.
"Well, what happened next? Because so far you haven’t given me a single reason to hate him," Areum continued. "Unless the sex had been extremely bad, but that still doesn’t justify your hatred, girl. Not everyone has good stamina, you know?".
"AREUM-AH!" shouted Julie as she threw a pillow in her friend’s face.
"Ay! Calm down!" Areum said with laughter. "It was just an idea. Continue, I still don’t understand what happened".
"He left, that’s what happened Areum-ah," Julie said.
"What do you mean?" Areum said a little confused.
"I mean, well, THAT happened and he just... left!" Julie let go. "He picked up his things and left because he told me he’d be in trouble if his manager didn’t find him in the bedroom the next morning. And on top of that, he told me that he liked me and that he was happy that it happened because it was the best goodbye he could have. THE BEST GOODBYE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!"
"Emmm, yes?" said Areum still confused. "I mean... Jooheon had just won a show and was about to debut as an idol. He was literally reaching his dream after years".
"So, you’re okay with what he did to me?" Julie asked incredulously.
"For starters, he didn’t do anything to you, Julie. From what you are telling me, it was consensual. Second, it’s not that I think it’s right or wrong; I think it’s logical, isn’t it?" Areum replied. "I mean... what else did you expect him to do? It’s not like you didn’t know what his responsibilities were going to be from then on. And he didn’t anything stupid like some lame promises before he came, did he?"
Julie didn’t answer it.
"Or did he?" Areum insisted. "And, by the way, those promises don’t count for much, so I hope you’re under no illusions if he told you that..."
"He didn’t say anything," Julianne cut her.
"Then what?" Areum asked. "I mean, all right, you realized you loved him, and the feelings were apparently mutual since you had sex and he said he was happy it happened and blah, blah, blah... but he was going to start preparing for his debut and you knew it, so of course he wouldn’t have time for a relationship. He was clear about that, but that doesn’t mean he disrespected you, Julie, since he didn’t force anything on you. Or did he?"
"He hurt me," Julianne said.
"Yes, I see that, and did you ever tell him?" Areum asked. "Because, as far as you’ve told me, you never talked about having a relationship or having commitments to each other or expectations for the future or anything at all. What I see is a Jooheon who took a couple of hours off to say goodbye to his best friend before diving right into the entertainment industry’s hurricane. And, uh, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’ve built yourself castles in the sky without any foundation, Julie".
Julie remained silent. She was angry, confused, and didn’t want to hear Areum’s reasons anymore. That moment had hurt her very much; yes, it was true, she had built castles in the sky and now she saw how stupid she had been and how meaningless her story had been. Still, she was angry.
Areum knew that her friend’s brain was going at a thousand miles an hour and that she was torn between truth and pride. Still, she had to get her to understand.
"Look, Julie" Areum started with a calm tone, "Jooheon didn’t do anything wrong, not really. I think, in those moments, you created a series of expectations that he couldn’t meet at the time and that he didn’t even know you had because you never told him. If you had, I don’t think he had made any move because he knew precisely what he was getting into. Jooheon is a good guy, he’s smart, he’s funny, he’s hardworking, and more importantly, now that he has time, I think he wants to regain the friendship that you two had. So, girl, these years you’ve been mad at him without any foundation, really, and for a stu..."
"Do you have soju?" Julianne interrupted as she stood up and checked the refrigerator.
"What? Emmm, I don’t know, I think not, but..."
"I’m going to the store to buy some," said Julie. "I feel like having soju and something spicy, I will also buy something to eat. I’ll be back in no time, pick a movie while I’m out".
Three seconds later, Julie walked out the door of the apartment and left Areum with words in her mouth.
"Sure, Julie, because avoiding problems is always the best solution!" Areum shouted hoping Julie would hear her through the door.
She still couldn’t believe the ridiculousness of Julie’s story, although she knew her friend had always had a hypersensitive side that she rarely showed. She knew Julie needed time to calm down and accept that she had indeed been ridiculous, but that was going to take time. Especially because her pride was bruised. I just hope she comes to her senses, Areum thought.
Meanwhile, Julie was taking a deep breath in the middle of the hallway trying to keep the tears from coming out of her eyes. She wouldn’t cry, she refused. She wasn’t going to cry about the memory of that night or how stupid she felt after what Areum told her. She was right, nothing made sense and that made her feel embarrassed and humiliated and stupid and... No, no, calm down, Julie, calm down, she thought as she walked down the stairs.
She began to walk and the cold night air helped clear her mind. She arrive at the convenience store, grabbed 5 bottles of soju, a few packets of extra spicy ramen, and a chocolate ice cream. She paid for everything and sat at the tables outside to eat the ice cream. She didn’t want to go back to the apartment yet, she still needed time and could no longer hold back her tears, so while she was eating, she began to cry.
At least there’s no one around, Julie thought as she sobbed a little.
What she didn’t know was that someone was nearby.
Jooheon felt suffocated in the dorm, so he had decided to go for a run. After about 20 minutes of running and listening to music without paying attention to his surroundings, he realized that he was not in his neighborhood and his cell phone had run out of battery. In the distance, he saw the convenience store where Julie was and walked there hoping the part-timer would let him use the phone to call a taxi.
Jooheon recognized Julie instantly, as she was wearing an old sweatshirt that belonged to her father. Jooheon had seen that sweatshirt so many times that he could recognize it anywhere.
The rapper thought about coming over to say hello but saw that Julie was not well. He saw her wiping the tears from her face and her nose was red. Jooheon’s first instinct was to come over and ask her if everything was alright, help her if she needed it. But he didn’t. Jooheon knew that Julianne rarely cried in front of people, and if she was there alone in the middle of the night, it was probably because she didn’t want anyone to see her. In addition, their relationship was not as close as Jooheon would have liked.
That is why Jooheon decided to watch her at a safe distance. He felt partially like a stalker, but right now all he cared about was her getting home safely. So, when Julie got up and started walking toward Areum’s apartment, Jooheon followed her being careful not to make any noise to not to frighten her. He saw her enter the apartment building and stood there for a few minutes thinking about what might have affected Julie so much to cry alone in the middle of the night in front of a convenience store.
Jules, whatever it is, it’ll be fine, I promise, Jooheon thought as he walked back to the store to use the phone.
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#monsta x scenarios#monsta x jooheon#lee jooheon#monsta x lee jooheon#monsta x jooheon fanfic#monsta x#monbebe#i.m changkyun#monsta x fanfic
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Hello again! Hope you're having a great weekend. I'm very curious on what your writing process is. Do you outline the story from beginning to end before writing it or do you figure it out as you go?
hey! weekend was tough but i'm fine! hope you're doing great too.
so, all my stories are born from an idea, from a single scene. i get inspiration mostly from music and movies, so just a small interaction between the characters or a quote from a song can make me think of my characters, a situation i could fit them in. immediately when i have this insight i need to write, so i usually do a list on my notes app or write something about what i imagined – it can be a dialogue, can be a description about said scene, etc
that being done, i start thinking. what can this small thing evolve into? what else can i do with this idea? can i do it at once, or does the plot have to be divided into chapters? what do i want to show, how can i develop these people, their personality, how do i give depth to this narrative? i usually have these answers after a day or two of constantly thinking about it and analyzing people around me, reviewing the movies or listening to the same music nonstop. from there, it's kinda writing as it comes to my head, but following the guide of my notes or the first draft.
for example: lavender 🌻, it all started with the wedding scene, and i then i schemed everything after writing the first draft of that moment in particular. i'm heavily inspired by pride and prejudice and studies about feminism and women's rights
for ocean, i thought about the confession scene at namjoon and yoongi's wedding, like, that exact moment hyungwon tells minhyuk he loves him. at first i didn't even know whose wedding that was, who i'd mix monstas with, etc. i knew i wanted a strangers-to-lovers with angst and miscommunication at first and then fluff and lots of love, so i basically do a list of the subjects i want to talk about in each chapter, but a lot comes from momentary inspiration.
for mob au, the movies and songs i usually talk about in the notes, and i first wrote the teenagers scene and eight and humpback killing the rabbit. things evolved from that point.
anyways, thanks for the question!!! i really enjoyed answering. i never really thought about the process of my writing!
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Happier (2)
Back to Part 1
Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 5k
Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING! Curse words, Mentions of Cheating, Suggestive Themes, Mature Scenes, Physical Fights, Abortion, hinted Depression and Reliance on Alcohol, Attempted Suicide.
Special Appearances: Kim Mingyu and Woozi from SEVENTEEN, Kihyun and Minhyuk from MONSTA X.
Inspired by:
Happier ~Olivia Rodrigo
Blue and Gray ~BTS
Happier ~Ed Sheeran
Glimpse:
"You look happier..."
"I just want to be happier-"
"Don't be happier."
Summary: Yoongi finds himself looking for his happiness and freedom in another woman, leaving you behind with a broken heart and fading memories. But the moment he realizes that he was happier with you, might just be a moment too late. Alternatively, Yoongi cheats on you but struggles to let you go when he sees that you're happier without him.
Note: Italicized passages and segments either represent situations taking place in the past or alternatively, at the same time in a different place.
I just wanna be happier;
Melt me, I'm cold
I've reached out my hand countless times
The echo is colorless
Oh, this ground feels so heavier
I am singing by myself
I just wanna be happier
Am I being too greedy?
Warm hands.
Something that you had never felt against your skin for the longest time, comforted you.
Not in a way you thought you wanted, but in a way you needed.
The heat of his touch against the bare skin of your back shielded you, guided you further against his own body.
Healing you.
Speaking to you with wordless movements and telling you that it’s okay.
You’re alright now.
Smooth skin that wiped away your tears and pulled your face into a safe haven that you had finally found for yourself. A place that you never wanted to leave.
A place that promised never to leave.
His skin was warm against yours, radiating love and comfort when he held your hands within his, telling you that you were no longer lost.
He had found you.
And he doesn’t want to lose you.
Thoughtful arms that protected your trembling frame and scaring away every fear that had been feasting on you. Warming you up with love. Telling you that it’s okay, you don’t need to fear the cold anymore.
He would heal you.
He would comfort you.
He would make you happy, again.
“I can’t— I can’t brea-”
“Shh…” his voice comforted you, gentle and soft, not wanting to let it overlap your own words but still wanting to be present.
“You can.”
“I- I need him; I need him back!”
The man never winced at the scream that came from you, pulling you by your shoulders further against his chest. Consistent pats to your back, smoothening out your damp hair, and using the sleeve of his sweatshirt to wipe at your clammy skin, he stayed with you. Right there on the bathroom floor.
“Can you get me my Yoongi? I need him to hold me, I need him to tell me that this was all a dream! Please!”
So he held you instead. His touch told you that this wasn’t a dream, but rather the bittersweet relief of being woken up from a nightmare. The end of a conflict that made you want to suffer a little more just to see how it ends but knowing that you didn’t need to always have control that way. Warm lips to your forehead, he tugged you further into the warmth of his embrace.
“You’re not alone anymore.”
“Yoongi…” your jaw clenched with each sob, too broken and too weak to take this pain anymore. Fingers clutching the material of his sweatshirt, pulling it closer to your mouth that continued to spill out hopeless murmurs of the name that you had once engraved onto the tablet of your heart. A name that was being burnt away like a cover over a tattoo that you didn’t want anymore.
“I’m here.”
Eyes that were brimming with sorrow glanced at the bottle of pills that lay against the tiled flooring.
He had reached you in time. He had saved you in time.
He would never let go of that hope that your body clung to in him.
He was the flicker of hope that your soul never let burn out.
He would never let that burn out.
And so he held your face like one man once had, letting his own body comfort you and for once, just distract you from the blinding pain that never stopped drying up the life out of you.
Lips that moved tenderly against your own trembling ones, arms that picked you up and carried you back to the sacred space of your bed, thumbs that never ceased to wipe away the tears that dripped down your temples, he comforted you.
Skin to skin and your hands held in his, he let you pull him closer. He let you weep and he let you fall back against the sheets because this time, he was there to catch you.
He worshipped hidden spots of skin and showered every inch of you with love that he knew you deserved. He tugged you higher up against his own bare chest and let you feel him with everything that had once held you back.
He loved you, that night.
He loved you, the day after that.
He loved you, the week after that.
He gave you love.
Even if he never expected you to give that back, he loved you like there was nothing else he was brought into this world to do.
And just like that, he healed you.
~
I just wanna be happier
It took three good months for Suga of BTS to heal from a relapsed shoulder injury that was caused during a performance. A performance he had never been to and a casualty that never took place. But this little lie had done Yoongi good, giving him time and a much-needed break away from the world of music and the hyped life that he was called to live.
It didn’t even take Yoongi a day to settle back into the humble house in his hometown, Daegu. His mother cared for him. Too much to hold his sins against him. So she welcomed her son back home with open arms and a meal that brought tears to Yoongi’s eyes. He ate until he couldn’t anymore and he cried until he had no more tears left to shed.
His mother had nursed him back to good health, even if he had to just sit and heal for three months straight. She kept repeating the same thing to him each time she oiled his hair and fed him chicken broth every morning.
“Give your body the time it needs to heal.”
And Yoongi had been sick. For the longest time.
His health began to deteriorate drastically after the woman that walked out of his life had given him a taste of his own poison. He was never one to be a hypochondriac, but the weird aches in this head and the bright spots in the vision of his right eye began to concern him. His grip grew weak up until the point where even holding a pen to write had become a task.
He would pass out frequently too, making an excuse that he hadn’t eaten, but it wasn’t much of a lie, either. Yoongi had begun to live on foods that were unhealthy and that left him malnourished and leaning on alcohol as support that only proved to be a slow poison. It was as if his body had begun to give up on him, and that’s when he knew he had had enough.
His mother was someone who could give him back the life he had abused.
She never spoke a word about anything that could poke at his sensitive past. She was kind and understanding and had nothing but love to offer to her son who sought help in her. She began to take walks along the beach every morning with her hands wrapped around his arm, telling him to walk barefoot and feel every bit of the touch of nature that he could at that moment.
She made it a point to fix Yoongi’s sleep schedules, scolding him and sitting by his side until he had completed a full 8-hour sleep. Regularly, she fed him nourishing meals and fruits and herbs that she used to brew her teas with, slapping away his hand that would reach for the little bottle of coffee in her kitchen.
It was torture, but that healed Yoongi.
It gave him back the strength that he had lost and somehow he bonded even more with his dog that would never leave his side.
One thing she made Yoongi understand was that even though he had made a horrible mistake in the past, he too had the right to be happy.
She showed him that blaming himself and believing that he didn’t deserve to be happy had been the very reason that opened the doors of wrath upon his head.
And the most evident of them all, the words that kept Yoongi up at night even with his eyes closed because his mother was watching over him like a hawk, the words that helped drive him further towards a healthier lifestyle as fast as he could, essentially gave him back his hope.
“You need to be strong to win her back.”
And so, Yoongi smiled a little, breathing in the fresh air and listening to the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks for the last time, shoulders broader and stomach sticking out a little but feeling fitter than ever, Yoongi bid farewell to his hometown.
A car had been sent for him, and he had been grateful for that too. His mother had taught him how to value the little things in life. And this was a moral he was going to put into practice even when he returned to his apartment back in Seoul.
Walking up to the car that he could see in the distance, a figure that stood beside it had made him stop in his tracks. Covered in black from head to toe, Yoongi felt his throat constrict, fingers curling tighter around the handle of his bag.
There was just no way, he thought, gulping when the figure began to walk towards him.
Eyes that filled with tears met with another pair that mirrored his expression, tongue darting out to swipe against his lower lip. The sky was darkening, clouds covering the expanse of the heavens and adding to the beauty of the cold breeze that made Yoongi sniffle. But nothing could compare to the full-lipped smile that he had not seen for even longer than he could remember.
“Hyung-nim.”
The bag dropped from Yoongi’s hands when a pair of arms circled around his shoulders, pain-filled cries making Yoongi’s heart clench, enveloping the younger into a warm embrace.
“Jimin-ah.”
“Can I tell you how much I hate you?” Jimin blubbered into Yoongi’s shoulder, fingers grasping at his coat desperately.
“Don’t hate me,” Yoongi uttered in a broken whisper.
“I hate you so much.”
His face scrunched up, unable to hold it in anymore. Hot tears rolled down the pale skin of his cheeks, his chest and shoulders shuddering with each sob that he could no longer control.
“I know you do.”
“Why—” Jimin sniffled, pulling away and wiping at his bright pink nose. “Why did you fall sick? Didn’t we all tell you that that wasn’t an option? Do you really not care for us?”
“Jimin-ah…”
“I told you at the beginning of the year that I would punch you if you fell sick, and that’s exactly what you did. Should I punch you?” Jimin held up a weak fist.
“Is this how you treat your hyung?” Yoongi teased him with a little laugh.
“Is this how you treat your younger brother?” Jimin retorted, frowning deeply at the man he had missed terribly.
Yoongi looked down at his shoes with a nod of regret.
“I’m sorry, Jimin-ah.”
“This is the longest time I’ve gone without seeing you in the past 10 years. Did you really have to take three months off? Why did you never call us? Why did you never call me?”
“I know you hated me, Jimin-ah.”
“I was angry, hyung. I was angry. But you fell sick and you visited so many doctors and not once did you care to tell us that it was so serious? Why did we have to find out from your mum after you came back here?”
Yoongi sighed.
“I didn’t think I deserved to ask you guys to help me.”
“Hyung,” Jimin frowned. “We’re family, too.”
“I let you all down, though.”
“We kind of let you down too. Especially me. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you when you needed us the most, hyung.”
Yoongi smiled gently. “Don’t be. I’m fine now.”
Yoongi embraced his dongsaeng once again, this time wrapping his arms around Jimin’s shoulders. Soft, consistent pats comforted Jimin, fingers to his coat and chin over his shoulder. Sniffling in sync, both the brothers eventually pulled away with an awkward laugh. Jimin volunteered to carry Yoongi’s bag.
“I didn’t think you’d come to pick me up.”
“It’s only obvious that I missed you the most,” Jimin pouted, looking straight ahead after shoving one of his hands inside the pocket of his black coat. Yoongi laughed fondly at his words.
“I missed you too, Jimin-ah. I really did.”
“You’ve put on a lot of weight,” Jimin observed, squeezing Yoongi’s arm.
“Yeah, I’ve eaten enough for a year.”
“I’ve been asked to ensure you keep eating that way.”
Yoongi turned to look at him. “By whom?”
“A fairy godmother,” Jimin smirked.
“Hmm… I like your hair,” Yoongi suddenly complimented him.
“It’s much longer now, isn’t it?”
“Mhm.”
-
The streets of Seoul caused a burst of adrenaline to rush through Yoongi’s body, hands fidgeting in his lap and eyes trailing over the passing buildings and cars that he had not seen for the past three months. He had missed out on so much, and one of the things he was most excited about was to finally meet the rest of his band members again. He had missed them so much that in the secrecy of his little room back in Daegu, Yoongi had managed to write three songs about them.
“We heard about…uh…” Jimin trailed off, lips rolling into a straight line. “The baby.”
Yoongi kept a straight face, nodding and looking out the window. “Okay.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“There was not much I could do about it, I’d rather not bring that up right now.”
Jimin acknowledged his reply, but a little thought nudged at him from the inside.
“Hyung, can I ask you something?”
Yoongi nodded.
“Do you miss (Y/n)?”
Eyes widening in surprise, his heart suddenly began to race at the mention of your name, blinking rapidly and noticing how the buildings that he was focusing on had now become a grey blur.
“Why do you ask?”
“We miss her a lot,” Jimin admitted quietly. “We tried to contact her.”
Yoongi looked towards Jimin. “Did she answer?”
“She replied to Namjoon hyung’s message. But that was it. Nothing more. It’s been over four months now.”
“You tried to contact her when I was here?” Yoongi briefly pointed out towards the streets of Seoul.
“Yeah, it was around the time when everyone noticed you were falling ill, and your mother asked us to call her.”
“My mother?” Yoongi’s eyes widened. “She never told me that.”
“She didn’t want you to know. She believed that only (Y/n) could fix you. I’m pretty sure she still believes that.”
Yoongi gulped.
“What did Namjoon ask in the message?”
“He asked her if she was doing alright and if we all could meet, without you – of course. But she said that she was no longer in Korea.”
“Did she say when she would be back?”
Jimin nodded. “She said in a few months.”
“It’s been a few months.”
“Exactly.”
A tense silence took over the car, faint honks and the frequent ticks of the indicators accompanying them, both men falling deep into the well of their own thoughts. Jimin couldn’t help but wonder if Yoongi could ever be the same hyung that he once knew just a year ago. Even though in his eyes, Yoongi had been a person who preferred to stay silent and enjoyed being in his own little bubble most of the time, there was a difference in the man who was sitting beside Jimin in the car that evening.
The old Yoongi and the new Yoongi walked in parallel lines, along the same path with the same destiny, but they could never think of crossing even once. A barrier that had injured his ability to be the same person that he was, a pain that always pulled him back.
And even though Yoongi felt much better than he did a few months ago, there was a grey cloud that sat tight over his head, following him like an evident shadow and threatening to burst at any moment. There was a time back in Daegu when this little cloud had almost become his comfort. A pleasant scent to his nose and a hand of assurance over his shoulder, telling him that this guilt would never leave his side. It would walk with him until the day he takes his last breath and would even hint at a possibility to be a loving company in his next life if he ever has one.
The guilt would love being with him and cherishing him and reminding him of all the beautiful things he has done in life, drawing him a beautiful portrait of the night he left you weeping on the floor so that he could hang it up on the walls of his heart. The guilt that had fallen asleep for a while but now vowed to be alert and show up in times he least needed it, because of course, it had become his best friend now.
That…was evident. It was so obvious that it made Jimin’s chest burn with worry, a little sapling of hope that had begun to grow within his soul, a hope that his hyung would finally grow a pair and smack himself in the head just to realize that he needed you, a hope that shied away at the intensity of the scorching heat of the sun that threatened to burn it away, a hope that began to sway wildly at the force of the winds that came with the rain that threatened to wash it away.
A hope that he wanted to hold onto.
So with a warm hand against Yoongi’s shoulder, Jimin spoke with an unknown confidence.
“Can you win (Y/n) back?”
~
Cause baby, you look happier, you do
I knew one day you'd fall for someone new
The end of a tiring day.
Yoongi had faced it worse than the others after the leisurely break time that he had spent his precious three months on.
Yoongi was a man who worked.
Day in and day out until his body could no longer stay upright. A man who admired others who worked and had never in a million years imagined that a gap of three months could be so difficult to cope with.
The boys had been a massive support, Yoongi noted in his diary. A little brown book that his mother asked him to fill in things that made him feel grateful. The boys had welcomed him back with open arms just like his mother had and also made sure to feed him good food and take him out whenever possible.
Jungkook made sure Yoongi tagged along when the muscular pigs made their little trips down to the gym every other evening. Jin dragged Yoongi to some water body he found on the way to the other side of town, for fishing. Not that they caught any, but it’s the thought that counts. Taehyung and Jimin made a mess in the kitchen while Hoseok and Yoongi sat comfortably on the couch with a recipe for some north-eastern dish that he couldn’t even pronounce the name of, yelling instructions across the hall and wincing at Hoseok’s banshee-like screams of laughter when Taehyung brought back a pan of burnt fish that he completely forgot about.
They had their ways of showing Yoongi that they were there for him, with him, and that brought the fondest smile to Yoongi’s face as his pen scribbled across the paper. Yoongi loved such days, the setting sun hidden behind a cloud cover of rain-filled cotton candy, shining courageously through its descent until a beautiful pink and orange hue enveloped the surrounding with a tinge of romance and light-hearted happiness.
He had made this a habit – something that he had been doing a lot recently – sitting in solitude with a book and pen, one leg crossed over the other, and a little hat that covered just enough of his face to maintain a discreet disguise.
Yoongi wrote.
He wrote about all things happy and all things sad and sometimes used fancy poetry to describe such sunsets, a trait that he picked up from a book Namjoon had recommended. He would write about the little grandma who looked like a stout teapot that walked her dog along the footpath beside the river, he would sometimes attempt to sketch out the faces of a happy-looking couple that he had seen walking hand in hand, and sometimes he wrote about the river itself.
River Han.
Namhangang, the word that literally translates to South Han River, was something that interested Yoongi quite a bit.
Nam-Han, the word that was formed by two coincidental yet incredibly opposing names, Namhan and Bukhan, meaning South Korea and North Korea respectively. The native Korean suffix –han, in this context meant ‘great’, ‘large’, and ‘wide’, but it also meant ‘One’ in the Korean Number System. Of much importance to Korean History, River Han is popularly recognized for its strategic significance as the main canal connecting the peninsula’s central western region to the Yellow Sea and its fertile alluvial banks.
Not that he ever remembered these facts from a geography class back in his school days, no. He was too busy sleeping to even pay attention to anything as such back then. He had looked these up on the internet, wanting to be as well versed with everything that had to do with his country as possible. So while noting them down, Yoongi began to draw lines of similarity to the water body that he would sit in front of every other evening.
A name formed by two opposing characters. South and North Korea.
That’s pretty much how it had been with you and him. Coincidental, yet it made perfect sense. The world could write a book on how different you both were, as simple individuals. You were a particularly social person, whereas he struggled to maintain eye contact with people he worked with. You were quite loud and carefree, whereas Yoongi preferred to stay reserved and within his own little bubble. You loved being active, roaming around, and planning various date ideas and vacations, whereas Yoongi simply loved to either watch a movie in a theatre or stay at home in the comfort of his bed. You both would occasionally argue and fight like cats and dogs, but that added to the beautiful essence of your relationship.
Great, Large, and Wide.
Three words that described the love you had for him. There was nothing quite like it, it was home. You were home. You cared for him like any mother would, you took care of his schedules and never failed to make him see how important he was, not just to you, but to everyone else around him. You fed him and smiled with him and made his burdens lighter. You loved him like he had never been loved before and there was nothing that could compare to the amount of love that you had for him. He wanted – no – he hoped, that just like the river that flowed down at its own leisurely pace but never once stopping, your love for him would still remain. That your love for him had somehow not run dry but was still patiently waiting for his return. Selfish, yes. But he couldn’t help but want that.
One.
A word that has little numerical significance but has much more than a valuable meaning. Cutting to the chase, you were the one for him. You were the one he once loved and you were the one who he kicked. And still, you were the one he was writing about. You were the one who put him first and you were the one who deserved to be put first. You were the one he now wanted back and it made his lips tremble because it was just too hard to deal with the guilt of losing the one person who was perfect for him.
And yet, you were the one who made his heart rate quicken significantly, because all of a sudden Yoongi forgot how to breath and how to function and not fall to the floor in panic and just break down then and there.
You were the one he was looking at and nothing at that point in time made sense to him anymore.
You, the person he should have always put first, were within sight of his spot on the little bench that he was sitting on.
You were there.
And you weren’t alone.
Yoongi almost collapsed at the sight of you, his parched mouth drinking up the sight of you completely. You looked…different.
A good different.
With shorter hair that reached just below your shoulders, a little hairpin held up the sides of your fringe to the top of your head. He couldn’t make out what it was, maybe a sunflower clip, or something yellow. You looked radiant, eyes light and bright, crinkling at the corners when a gorgeous smile took over your face.
Breath-taking, he thought, literally, because he still hadn’t noticed that he was no longer actively breathing. You had a pretty dress on, white, the color that made you look like an angel, with cute frills around the front and the arms.
Arms that were linked with a man that looked all too familiar.
From a distance, Yoongi’s deprived ears picked up on the sound of your laugh, a sound that made him feel lightheaded, a sound that reminded him of rushing waters and open flower fields and everything that was good and kind. It tugged at his heart, painfully, noticing the way the man beside you had spoken something before he was blessed with the wonderful sound of your laughter.
Another man had made you laugh, Yoongi noted.
A man that he should have been, but failed to be.
A man that took his place and gave you the happiness that you deserved.
A man that put you first.
“I found it!”
Yoongi’s eyes widened, turning around abruptly and rushing to take the hard disk out of Minhyuk’s hand. A series of relieved sighs filled the room, Jungkook and Woozi rushing to physically look at the item all of them had been in search of for the past ten minutes.
“Thank god.”
“You should be careful,” Minhyuk nodded when Yoongi took the hard disk from him. “You almost lost something really important.”
Jin agreed from the corner. “Yoongi has so many songs on that.”
“You really need to keep track of your things.”
“I will.” Yoongi ran his hands over the black device, heart still racing at the thought of losing all of his hard work in one stretch.
“I’m glad we found it. It would’ve been terrible if someone else picked it up.”
“Yeah,” Kihyun nodded. “It’s one of us, so that’s a relief.”
“Where did you find it?” Yoongi asked.
“It was fallen behind the cushions on the couch. Must’ve slipped in there when you didn’t realize it.”
“Ah.”
“In that case, you should give Minhyuk a song as a ‘thank you’ gift for finding it for you,” Kihyun suggested with a smirk. Everyone laughed at that, immediately bursting into shouts and arguments as to who deserves to get a song from Yoongi first.
In the meanwhile, Minhyuk felt the need to scold Yoongi some more.
“You would have never noticed it if it wasn’t for the need to look for it. You only knew how much it meant to you once you lost it.”
Yoongi blinked up in confusion. “Yeah, thank you.”
“You shouldn’t thank me. It’s a good thing I found it before someone else did. Who knows, they could’ve taken advantage of it.”
“Yeah…” he trailed off, feeling slightly intimidated under the intense look on Minhyuk’s face.
“Don’t be so careless next time, Yoongi-ssi. Not everyone will be willing to return something they’ve found, especially if it’s valuable.”
“Okay, I get you. Don’t make me feel worse.”
“I’m telling you so that you feel worse.”
Yoongi raised his eyebrows when the man turned to walk away, feeling deeply offended by the tone that he was just spoken to with. Looking back down at the hard disk in his hand, he zipped open his bag and slipped it into the deepest section with a promise to never mishandle something that was of great meaning to him.
“What is wrong with that dude?” Yoongi grumbled to himself, walking away with a shake of his head. “He looked like he could eat me up in a second.”
And so he did.
Because all at once, every single word that Minhyuk spoke that day made sense to him.
This time, he had really lost something valuable to him, to someone who was much more capable of cherishing it. And there was nothing much he could do about it. Every word that Minhyuk told him that day fit perfectly to the situation.
“You only knew how much it meant to you once you lost it.”
“It’s a good thing I found it before someone else did. Who knows, they could’ve taken advantage of it.”
“Not everyone will be willing to return something they’ve found, especially if it’s valuable.”
“I’m telling you so that you feel worse.”
Minhyuk, of all people, found you.
And by the looks of it, you needed it much more than Yoongi thought you did.
You looked like something you had experienced with Yoongi in your life, but somehow, it was even more than before.
Yoongi had once made you happy.
But Minhyuk made you happier.
You both passed by with joyous laughs and fingers intertwined, arms swinging happily as the two of you walked further and further away from the place Yoongi was sitting at.
Looking down at the notebook on his lap, Yoongi laughed pathetically at the smudge of ink which appeared when a tear that he didn’t even know had fallen, covering the first word of the last sentence that he had written. Maybe that was his fate.
Maybe it was his punishment that he had longed for.
Maybe it was the bitter taste of the medicine that life had finally pushed into his mouth.
Because now there was no way he could take part in the oath he had noted down on the paper. He could never fill in that space.
He could never get back what he had lost.
And maybe, just maybe, this was for the best.
Because even though it broke him to the point that Yoongi bent forward right there on the bench and cried like he never had before, maybe this was for the best. His love for you that had returned powerfully suddenly felt weak and powerless under the sad truth that just walked past him.
Maybe he had failed.
Maybe he deserved this.
Maybe he needed this.
Because there was no way the heavens weren’t clear enough with the sign that was now evident on the paper of his notebook.
“Make (Y/n) happier.”
.
.
.
.
.
Requested by: @persefoneniverse
Taglist: @somewhereinthestarss, @belladaises, @readwithlivvy, @taelici0us, @koalasandcuddles, @aria-grace-scott, @introlxv
#min yoongi angst#yoongi angst#suga angst#bts angst#yoongi oneshot#bts min yoongi angst#bts x reader#yoongi x reader#happier#olivia rodrigo angst#blue and gray#kihyun#minhyuk angst#minhyuk#mingyu#woozi#jimin angst#yoongi fluff#yoongi imagines#bts min yoongi
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Monsta X Masterlist
Key: [F=Fluff, S=Smut/Suggestive, A=Angst, H=Humor, P=Platonic, T=Thriller]
I’m including Wonho here because I can. O’hana means family. Fight me.
Hyunwoo/Shownu
Dean’s Office [S] - 2.0k - He gets distracted while deleting evidence of the faculty’s indecent behavior. // “Don’t worry, baby. No matter what, daddy’s gonna get you in his bed. That’s a promise.”
Page 181 [F]
Hoseok/Wonho
RM1501: Anatomy & Physio [S] - 2.9k - After an “incident” during a staff meeting, you tried to put distance between you and Hoseok for the sake of being professional. Unfortunately, the Dean noticed the awkwardness between you and tasked you with fixing it. Well, here goes nothing.
Minhyuk
Page 137 [F]
Kihyun
Page 135 [S]
Page 125
Hyungwon
Your Ex Meets Your Kid [A]
Jooheon/Joohoney
RM1506: Production Mgmt [S] - 2.7k - “I’ve been trying to figure out how to get you alone for weeks. You’re always with your friends, always where someone might see. But not today. Not this time.”
Page 132 [H]
Changkyun/I.M
About Time [S]- 3.5k - You broke the number rule of fuck buddies and ghosted him. You think you don’t have to answer for that?
RM1526: Calculus II [S] - 2.6k - “I don’t doubt that. However,” he held your wrists in one hand as he locked the only door to the classroom with the other, “I can’t risk someone walking in on me topless. Even in the name of art.”
Page 210 [A]
Headcanons
Kinks & Turn Ons [S]
#monsta x scenarios#monsta x imagines#monsta x drabbles#monsta x smut#monsta x fluff#monsta x angst#jooheon x reader#jooheon x you#joohoney x reader#joohoney x you#i.m x reader#i.m x you#changkyun x reader#changkyun x you#hyungwon x reader#hyungwon x you#kihyun x reader#kihyun x you#minhyuk x reader#minhyuk x you#shownu x reader#shownu x you#wonho x reader#wonho x you#hoseok x reader#hoseok x you#hyunwoo x you#hyunwoo x reader
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Bonnies "To Be Written" Stories
Requests open!
*New
[Requested]
Please note that there is a lot of stories to be written! If you requested a story, it will be worked on when the time comes! Please bear with me until your request is published!
Monsta X Scenarios
How the members found out their s/o was pregnant. [Requested]*
Son Hyunwoo (Shownu)
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
I’ll Take Care of You (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ Hyunwoo couldn’t see himself leaving for work knowing his girlfriend was sick.
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Bunny (Warnings for this fic: mafia au!, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), slight violence)* [Requested]
↳ Hyunwoo couldn't take his eyes off of her. Not even during the midst of a very important meeting.
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“It doesn’t bother me.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
__________________
“I'm yours.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♕୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Lee Hoseok
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
I Wasn’t Really Jealous (Warnings for this fic: jealousy)
↳ Step One, don’t tell Hoseok a man flirted with you. Step two, calm the pouting baby.
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Ways of Relaxing [Requested] (Warnings for this fic: unprotected sex)
↳ Y/N is stressed. Hoseok knows how to help her destress.
Medium Curly Fries and A Water for the Drink [Requested] (Warnings: strength and size kink, unprotected sex, almost food sex)*
↳ Whenever his eyes landed on her, he would drive himself insane with thoughts that shouldn't be mentioned out loud.
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“I did the dishes.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
_________ ׂ
“I found this meme that I think you’ll like. Wanna see?” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♕୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Lee Minhyuk
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Six Fairies and a Toddler (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ A last minute phone call requires Y/N to head into work. On her way in she drops off her daughter with her father and her five uncles.
__________________
Ten Thing I Hate About You (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ “All I see on this list is nine reasons.”
“I’ll think of the tenth later.”
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
So Warm (Warnings for this fic: cockwarming, unprotected smut)
↳ Y/N just wanted to try out something new. Minhyuk wasn’t too thrilled to learn what it was.
__________________
A Room of Three (Warnings for this fic: threesome, oral (fem and male receiving), unprotected sex from one side)*
↳ Kihyun will only allow Minhyuk to touch you like this only once.
__________________
Yes, Officer? (Warnings for this fic: cop!minhyuk, smut, unprotected sex, taking laws into his own hands)*
↳ There's always two ways to get yourself out of a speeding ticket.
__________________
For Me? (Warning for this fic: nudes exchange (one sided accident), avoiding, slight angst(?), unprotected sex)*
↳ It was supposed to be a joke to his friends. He wasn't supposed to send it to her.
__________________
Mr. Ceo (Warning for this fic: ceo!minhyuk smut, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), slight angst)
↳ Despite doing her job right constantly, her boss Minhyuk seems to scold her for everything.
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“Can I kiss you?” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
__________________
“Give me a brush. I’ll fix your hair.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
__________________
Hey, I’m talking To You
↳ He knows she’s busy, but he just wants her attention
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♕୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Yoo Kihyun
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Your Heart Is Far, Reduce the Distance (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ All Kihyun could remember was that she was in America, and he was in love.
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
What If You Said Yes Twice? (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ All Kihyun wants to hear is a simple, “yes”? “Yes” for this sudden expensive vacation and yes for taking his last name.
__________________
Blame Me [Angst/Smut] (Warnings for this fic: one sided pinning, friends to lover's trope, smut)
↳ Kihyun didn’t plan on falling in love with his best friend. He also didn’t plan the events that followed after either.
__________________
Not a Romantic (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ Kihyun has told her time and time again that he wasn’t a romantic. His actions often spoke louder than his words. He’s proven that 10 times already.
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Got me in chains (Warnings for this fic: dom!reader and sub!Kihyun, masturbation, oral (male receiving), unprotected sex)
↳ Kihyun lost a bet. Y/N is going to make sure he regrets it.
__________________
Focus (Warnings for this fic: oral (fem recieving)
↳ All she needs to do is focus.
__________________
Rivals (Warnings for this fic: enemies to possible lovers, unprotected sex, teasing, semipublic sex)
↳ Hate. She hated everything about him. That means she should hate the seductive looks he gives her too, right?
__________________
A Room of Three (Warnings for this fic: threesome, oral (fem and male receiving), unprotected sex from one side)*
↳ Kihyun will only allow Minhyuk to touch you like this only once.
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Mercy [Requested] (Warnings for this fic: mentions of past cheating, heavy angst)
↳ Kihyun had it all. An amazing girlfriend, an amazing job with amazing fans. Or, well, he had it all. After a stupid decision that had caught him where he shouldn’t have been, Y/N makes sure he regrets ever thinking about cheating on her.
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“I bought you a ticket.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
__________________
“Do you want to help me fix dinner tonight?” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♕୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Chae Hyungwon
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Let’s Meet Under the Moonlight (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ Hyungwon was allowed to be nervous. After all, he was finally meeting his girlfriend’s parents after three years.
__________________
All The Art but You’re My Favorite Piece (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ Needing some inspiration for photography Y/N and Hyungwon decide to visit an Art Museum while in New York. Y/N couldn’t help but take her eyes off of one piece, however.
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing Compares to You (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ Everything led to their first kiss
__________________
Let’s Have a Baby (Warnings for this fic: impregnation, unprotected sex)
↳ Baby fever was alright to feel. But it was itching away at Hyungwon’s skin. Far too much for him to handle.
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
A Warm Bath (Warnings for this fic: unprotected sex)
↳ Who would’ve thought a nice warm bath would be so…relaxing?
__________________
Brat [Requested] (Warnings for this fic: teasing, almost public smut, groping, unprotected sex, edging, angry Hyungwon)*
↳ Teasing Hyungwon when he was kind enough to allow her to tag along was definitely a mistake in some ways.
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Don’t Go (Warnings for this fic: angst)
↳ The only thing that was painful was knowing he stopped loving her. His words screamed it wasn’t true, his actions proved otherwise.
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“I’ll meet you halfway.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
__________________
“Your voice is so relaxing.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
__________________
Regret (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ Hyungwon was lazy when he wanted to be. So why exactly did he agree to take a hike with his girlfriend?
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♕୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Lee Jooheon
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Home Movie (Warnings for this fic: unprotected sex, filming during sex, oral (both receiving))
↳ Surely a home movie would help Jooheon survive the months of touring without his girlfriend by his side.
__________________
Envious Eyes (Warnings for this fic: unprotected sex, jealousy, choking and praising kink) [Requested]
↳ The only person who can hold Y/N's attention is Jooheon.
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“Call me if you need anything.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
__________________
“I’d like to take vacation one day." (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♕୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Im Changkyun
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Picnic Date [Part One] (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ She could see it in his eyes how nervous he truly was. Deep down she enjoyed how adorable he looked.
__________________
Can I Have This Dance? [Part Two] (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ Watching her brother get married only made Changkyun want to do the same thing.
__________________
I Do [Part three Final] (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ He didn’t care about the fame or the angry fans that hated her. All he cared about was how beautiful she looked walking down the aisle.
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planed yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
What’s Mine (Warnings for this fic: jealousy, unprotected sex, edging)
↳ Don’t get it twisted. There’s a difference between being showing jealousy and showing who you belong to.
__________________
Shy (Warnings for this fic: teasing, masturbation, unprotected sex) [Requested]
↳ She never wanted to be a burden to him, but her needs were slowly itching away at her especially when she watched him walk out the door.
__________________
A Little Jealousy (Warnings for this fic: (angst, jealousy, unprotected sex, slight public sex,)* [Requested]
↳ It never mattered what he did, Changkyun's promises always remained the same: nobody else but them. So why was that creeping feeling of jealousy itching at her skin as she watched him and the boys preform their hearts out?
__________________
Roses (Warnings for this fic: unprotected sex, fluff, romantic Kyun)* [Requested]
↳ Two years together and Changkyun wanted to remind the love of his life what their first night together was like.
__________________
Rainfall (Warnings for this fic: angst, fluff, threesome, rain sex, public sex, car hood sex, unprotected sex)
↳ Changkyun and Jungkook deeply hated each other. The only time they acted like they were friends was around Y/N.
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“This is my favorite picture of us.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
__________________
“You don’t have to pay me back.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
Kim Minseok (Xiumin)
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“Let me bandage that up for you.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♕୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Kim Junmyeon (Suho)
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Penny For Your Thoughts? (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ “Penny for your thoughts?” He’d always ask that single sentence without fail. She didn’t know him, but each week he asked with a penny in hand she wished she did.
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“I took care of the laundry already.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♕୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Zhang Yixing (Lay)
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots (5k or higher) (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“Your skin is so soft.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
__________________
“Wait!” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♕୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Byun Baekhyun
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
I Didn’t Know He Talks (Warnings for this fic: Dad!Baek AU, mega fluff)
↳ Whether it was him being impatient or not, Y/N found it funny when her husband would voice their newborn son acting as if he was having a one-on-one conversation.
__________________
Laser Tag (Warnings for this fic: none)
↳ Deep down she regretted accepting Baekhyun's offer on a Laser Tag date.
__________________
The Next Chapter (Warnings for this fic: none)* [Requested]
↳ For Baekhyun he knew his wedding night was nothing but special. He married the love of his life. What else could boost his mood?
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
No Touching (Warnings for this fic: teasing, unprotected sex, slight choking kink)
↳ Baekhyun seemed to make his priorities clear as day. Y/N is going to make sure he regrets making that his number one priority.
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Mile High Club (Warnings for this fic: unprotected sex, hand job)
↳ Something that Baekhyun always wanted to do was join the Mile High Club.
__________________
Professor Byun (Warnings for this fic: teacher/student relations, drunk sex, unprotected sex, one night stands
↳ She was...extremely wasted. So was he. How was she supposed to know she slept with her professor?
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“You’ve never let me down.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♕୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Park Chanyeol
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
See "Welcome to America" details under "Long Shots").
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Welcome to America (Warnings for this fic: light smut other than that none)
↳ Too many months of not seeing each other led to this very moment. Their tight hug in the middle of the airport.
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Who, Her? Never (Warnings for this fic: unprotected sex) (moved to 2023)
↳ The day she ever admitted being jealous of the backup dancer was the day she’d block each member of Exo on the spot.
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“I named my little plants after you.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
__________________
Setting an Example (Warnings for the fic: none)
↳ Never let Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun around a child unattended.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♕୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Doh Kyungsoo (D.O)
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots (5k or higher) (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
"Here. You look hungry." (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
__________________
"Thank you for making me smile." (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♕୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Kim Jongin (Kai)
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ angst
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“I was just thinking about you.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
__________________
“Have you been drinking enough water?” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♕୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Oh Sehun
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
“I was in the neighborhood.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
__________________
“Don’t be scared. I’m right here.” (Part of the "100 Ways to Say, "I Love You")
Kim Seokjin
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
Nothing planned yet...
Min Yoongi
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
Nothing planned yet...
Jung Hoseok
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
Nothing planned yet...
Kim Namjoon
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
Nothing planned yet...
Park Jimin
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
Nothing planned yet...
Kim Taehyung
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
Nothing planned yet...
Jeon Jungkook
⸺ one shots (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ long shots (5k or higher)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ smuts (1k - 3k)
Rainfall (Warnings for this fic: angst, fluff, threesome, rain sex, public sex, car hood sex, unprotected sex)
↳ Changkyun and Jungkook deeply hated each other. The only time they acted like they were friends was around Y/N.
⸺ angst (1k - 3k)
Nothing planned yet...
⸺ drabbles (1k or less)
Nothing planned yet...
Hate You
- Unknown updates! Each chapter will be 2k or more!
End date: Unknown.
Coffee Shops
- Unknown updates! Each chapter will be 2k or more!
End date: Unknown.
Public Adventures
- Unknown update! Unknown work count for each part.
End date: Unknown.
#monsta x imagines#monsta x x reader#exo x reader#hyungwon x reader#exo imagines#minhyuk x reader#monsta x fluff#oh sehun x reader#changkyun x reader#jooheon x reader#kim junmyeon x reader#minseok x reader#lay x reader#chanyeol x you#byun baekhyun x reader#kai x reader#kihyun x reader#shownu x reader#monsta x angst#monsta x smut#exo smut#exo mafia au#kihyun imagine smut
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