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pasukiyo · 6 months

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BLOOD ON HIS CANVAS

coriolanus snow x f!reader word count; 2,085 warnings; coriolanus snow, manipulation, smut, little to no plot, just porn summary; she was a dove, forever meant to be trapped in his little cage. she knows this. and her body is his canvas, his to taint, to paint. and coriolanus snow will do whatever it takes to ensure he has full control.

She doesn’t know.

And she’ll never know.

She’ll never know the things he’d done, the things he’d done to get to where he is now, the things he will do and what he was already planning to do again. She’ll never know he was a killer, that he’d kill anyone that stood between him and power.

She’ll never know that he’d kill her too, should she stand in his way.

Just like she’ll never know his love was never hers.

But she will know she belongs to him. And she will love him, blindly, and she’ll know that she won’t leave him, just like everyone else had. She’ll never know that everyone in Coriolanus Snow’s life has left him, and good, let it be that way.

There were some things better left in the darkness— and Coriolanus Snow was shrouded in it. It was better this way— he became President of Panem this way. He had all the power, money, and control in the world because of it, so who was he to change what was already perfect?

All she will know is the same white walls, the same white marble floors, the same white curtains, the same perfectly cut green grass. She was a dove, too pretty to be let free of her cage. She may have been a bird, yes, but he’d cut her wings long ago, stripping her of her freedom.

And Coriolanus Snow would teach her to love it.

And he did by slowly cutting her off from the rest of the world, insisting Panem was much too dangerous for a pretty, little, untainted bird such as her. The Districts were full of animals, filthy beasts who would only do her harm, even his Capitol full of predators, men who couldn’t be trusted. He insisted he was the only one who could protect her, the only one who could keep her from harm.

And she believed him.

It was perfect how easy it was to trap her. It made him wonder how much more he could get away with.

Even now, as she slowly strode towards him in nothing but a white slip nightgown, the straps falling down like teardrops off her shoulders, he wondered how much more he could take from her.

After all, nothing was ever enough for Coriolanus Snow.

He stared as she approached, the perfectly untainted gown now pooled at her feet, her bare skin and every curve of her body now gazing back at him like a carefully crafted gift— just for him. Coriolanus made no moves to touch her, not yet, at least.

She was to understand that she was under his control, and not to let it be twisted the other way around. She was there to do whatever he pleased, to make him feel good.

She was his dove, his pretty, little play-thing.

Whether she should like it or not, he knew she loved it.

Coriolanus let his gaze trail down her face to her neck, perfect and untainted, just as everything should be. He ventured down lower to her breasts and the valley between them where a faint mark on the side of her left tit stared at him and he leaned forward, a furrow in his brow as he reached over to touch her there. He could feel her shudder as his fingertips fell like a ghost over her skin, her flesh growing warm in his touch’s wake.

“What is this?” He asked her, unblinking and his eyes never leaving the faint mark tainting her skin. She gulped as she opened her mouth to answer, “from last night, darling. You… you left a mark on me, remember?”

The memories from last night flashed in the back of Coriolanus’ mind, the taste of her skin on his tongue making his taste buds sing in delight, the high his arousal gave him making him see white. He remembered the way her flesh felt between his lips as he sucked on the side of her breast, how it felt between his teeth when he nipped her and etched his mark there.

For a moment, all was silent and she shivered, wondering if he’d punish her for this. When a few moments had passed, the blues of his irises slowly rolled up her body until their gazes met, and he pressed his lips to the mark in a soft kiss. It was like a shock, a jolt of electricity ripping through her like lightning and she shuddered, her lips trembling at the merest touch of his lips. His kiss was so tender, so soft and so different, it almost made her knees buckle right beneath her weight.

Coriolanus pressed another kiss to the mark on her skin, then another, and another. Tainted. Her skin was tainted with the phantom of his lips, as if her body was his canvas. The idea he possessed her in such a way gave him a high like no other, made him feel so in control, so powerful.

He hummed against her skin as his kisses trailed over to her right breast, his teeth nipping and lips sucking at her supple skin, her body falling limp in his arms as he wrapped his arms around her, pressing his fingers into the small of her back. Her head tipped backwards and her lips fell agape as he etched more of his marks into her skin, tainting her, painting her.

She was a work of art, his work of art, and he would treat her as such.

“Cor— Coryo,” his shortened name tumbled from her lips in a pleased murmur, her fingernails on his shoulder and in his hair. Coriolanus peered up at her through hooded lids again as his kisses worked their way up to her nipple, watching her face as it twisted in pleasure, her brow furrowed in bliss. He rolled his tongue over the erect bud and sucked, his teeth grazing over it. A quake tumbled through her body like thunder and she trembled in his arms, fisting the hairs at the back of his head.

Finally, he released her nipple with a wet pop, pushing away from her to stand up, his hands on her waist. He peered down at her and her eyelids fluttered open and for a moment, just a single moment, their gazes met and Coriolanus felt something flutter at the pit of his stomach, something he couldn’t quite put a name to. He wrapped a hand around her neck and pressed his palm flat to the back of her head to reel her lips into his before he let the feeling ruin the moment, insisting he could mull it over later.

His tongue was completely dominant over hers, in fact, she didn’t even try overpowering his. She knew he was in control, knew her place.

The thought had Coriolanus’ hands venturing down to her hips to turn them around, pushing her down into the plush mattress of the bed. He towered over her, casting a shadow over her face as he kissed her harder, his knee in between her legs, her arousal warm and wet against his clothed thigh. She whimpered when he pressed his leg closer against her and he pulled away, either of their chests heaving as they chased air back into their lungs.

A plea sat on the tip of her tongue and her lips trembled, desperate to ask for more but her words falling short, unable to catch her breath. Coriolanus only watched her, watched the tears form in her eyes and the way her breasts heaved up and down as she chased air back into her lungs while he stripped himself of his shirt, unbuckling his belt. He tossed either of these things to the side before undoing the buttons of his pants and he watched the way her eyes dared a glance down at him as he rid himself of his bottoms, leaving them both bare, nude in front of one another.

The sight seemed to steal her breath away once more.

A pathetic whisper of his name hardly managed to fall past her lips before Coriolanus was back on top of her, stealing her words with his kiss as she bucked into his touch. He could feel her heat against him, could feel the proof of her arousal, of her obedience as it rubbed against his cock. Without once breaking their kiss, he bucked into her, filling her up to the brim with one stroke of his hips.

She was the one to break their kiss this time as her lips fell agape and her head tilted back into the mattress, her back arching off of the bed until their chests were pressed together as a cry ripped through her. Coriolanus pressed his lips and eyelids together, willing the groan at the back of his throat back down despite how tight she was squeezing him, despite how much he relished her sounds.

“Cor… Coryo… Coriolanus,” she panted as he bucked his hips again, harder this time, as if testing her. She was mewling now, limp and pliant in his arms, submissive like a kitten. Coriolanus balled his fist and pressed it down into the mattress beside her head, using his opposite to grab at her neck, his thumb just barely putting down pressure on her throat.

And he bucked his hips, once again.

And he didn’t stop this time.

He was pounding her, pistoning his hips harder and faster with each thrust into her, her walls clenching down on him so tight, he couldn’t keep the groan that rumbled from his throat. Tears were streaming down her face as he worked her up and down and up and down the bed, feeling a knot begin to form at the pit of her belly.

Coriolanus could tell she was already close. He didn’t really care.

He was chasing his own high, fucking her harder and harder to push himself even closer to his limit. She was coming undone on his cock but Coriolanus showed no sign nor intent of stopping. She could come all she wanted to for all he cared. He didn’t care if she’d had enough, they weren’t done until he decided they were done.

So despite her whimpers that she was close again, he only thrusted harder, fucking her like they were animals, like he was feral, like he hated her. Coriolanus’ stresses and frustrations were being fucked back into her, and he was determined to fill her full of each and every one of them, as if giving them to her.

She was sobbing, fat tears of pleasure rolling down the sides of her face as he felt that high he so desperately craved on the horizon, so close he could taste it. Her cries permeated the bedroom, nearly making the walls shake but he didn’t care. He was so close, so, so, so close and oh, when he reached that high, it was like heaven on earth.

With a few last thrusts, he was pumping her full of his release, her skin not only his but her body, all of it, his as well. She was his possession, a canvas that was his to taint over and over again, as many times as he pleased.

She knew this all too well.

Coriolanus collapsed down on the bed beside her and he stared into the whites of the ceiling overhead as she crawled over to him, curling up to his side and resting her head against his chest. He had an arm wrapped around her shoulders absentmindedly, his other folded behind his head.

Her skin was painted red with the marks his mouth had left on her, her every limb ached and her cunt sore and pulsing in his wake. He was all over her, etched and engraved inside every nook and cranny of her body.

She was his, completely and totally his.

She knew this.

And she loved it.

She loved him.

Coriolanus seemed to know this too, and he wondered if the flutter he had felt in his stomach earlier meant that he loved her too. He blinked as his vision began to blur and he squeezed his eyelids shut, letting himself relax further down into the mattress.

He wasn’t entirely sure what that feeling he felt in his belly meant. But he wouldn’t dare tell a single soul about it. Not even her.

After all, some things were better left in the darkness— and Coriolanus Snow was shrouded in it.

a/n; so yeah the ballad of songbirds and snakes movie finally coming out has brought me back into my hunger games phase so... enjoy :) also sorry for any errors, i wrote this in an hour while in the bathtub LMAO

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #tom blyth #president snow #coryo snow #tbosas #thg series #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow x reader

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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ventique18 · 11 months

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~ A Painting of You ~

Malleus falling in love with you, a human, and eventually losing you even after years and years of finding a way to let you live with him forever.

Him choosing to stay alive for the sake of your children. Him always painting you perfectly with the most delicate of details, year after year, so that he may always remember your memories together. Him one day growing frustrated because he feels like he's forgetting something about you. Is it a mark somewhere on your chest? Is it the luster of your hair? He doesn't know.

Until the day eventually comes when he drags the brush across the canvas in manic hysteria; painting large, blood-red blotches on what seems to be a portrait of your peaceful, sleeping face.

He had forgotten what you looked like.

Darkness. Suddenly all he could see is darkness. The memory of seeing you for the first time, the delight of wrapping his arms around you for the first time, the strangely happy tears of feeling your skin for the first time. All gone. All he can hear in the darkness are the sounds of himself crying, more than he ever did in his life, as the warmth of your hands turned cold in his.

He feels the world crumbling. He feels rocks and boulders and sharp fragments against his wings. He feels his nails tearing across something he doesn't understand. And then he feels something piercing through his chest.

Pain.

Or is it relief?

Yes... Relief... Because suddenly, finally, he remembers. He remembers as you both sit under a tree with your little hatchlings. He remembers how it feels as he lay his head on your lap, how warm your fingers are as they brush his hair, how lovely the scent of your perfume is, how lovely your voice is as you hum him to sleep. The sight of your beautiful face before he closes his eyes.

He remembers. He remembers you.

"Sleep tight, my love." You hum.

He smiles.

"I'm sorry."

A teardrop fall from his eyes.

"Sleep tight, father."

And he rests for the last time.

#short drabble i wrote during lunch time #😭#twisted wonderland #ventique rambles #malleus draconia #malleus x reader

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daenysx · 3 months

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request: Remus is comforted by Sirius and James after a full moon

thank you for requesting but i had to add fem!reader, hope you enjoy!

remus lupin x fem!reader, fluff

join remus's birthday celebration

remus's legs don't carry him any longer.

he is placed on his bed in their dormitory, james sits next to him to take care of his ripped clothes. oh, moony. remus tries to open his eyes but he can't control his muscles yet. james strokes his arm, reminding him he's here, he'll always be here, and remus doesn't need to look around when james is with him.

you follow sirius's steps quickly, he leads you into the room. "too bad?" you ask, quietly. he gives you a smile, there's a fresh scar on his eyebrow. "just the usual."

you try to be quiet as you walk into the boys' room. the first thing you see is james, then the bed, the discarded clothes and your poor boyfriend. remus lays on bed with shaky breaths and your heart stops beating for a second.

sirius goes to james, he leans in to say something to remus. the room is dimly lit so you can't see everything clearly but you can see sirius pressing a kiss on remus's forehead before he takes james to give you space.

james gives you a hug when he sees you in the room. he looks worn out, just exhausted. he kisses your cheek before letting you go to remus's side. you look at his eyes, "is he awake?"

james nods. you give him the best smile you can manage, your grateful eyes follow both of them as they leave the room. remus made it perfectly clear how he wants to keep you out of this, especially on the full moon. you didn't want to agree but remus can be very persistent at times. you shrug the memories off, walk slowly towards your boyfriend.

you sit james's earlier spot on bed, you are trying to be quiet and gentle. remus blinks, he opens his eyes. you give him a smile, you hold his scarred hand in between yours. "hi, handsome."

"hey." he whispers. he squeezes your hand the best he can. you kiss the back of his hand lightly.

"i'm happy to get you back." you say. every full moon feels like it'll never pass, but somehow you all get through it. your boy is strong, stronger than everyone believes him to be, and you're so proud of him. "we'll be okay now."

"i know." remus says. the tone of his voice breaks your heart but you don't let him see it. you fix his hair, give him a little kiss on his cheek. he lets a slow teardrop fall on his cheek and whispers. "thanks, angel."

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus x reader #remus x you #remus lupin fic #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin imagine #marauders #marauders imagine #marauders fic #james potter #sirius black

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twomiddlefingersforthehaters · 4 months

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S͛a͛s͛u͛k͛e͛ a͛n͛d͛ t͛h͛e͛ r͛a͛i͛n͛

That day, after the Uchiha clan was wiped out, Sasuke ran away from the hospital and returned to his home. A home where no one will call his name, no more footsteps or laughter will be heard. He no longer gets the food his mother cooked with love. He entered the reality that everything he had seen the previous day was not a nightmare, but reality.

That day, kid Sasuke saw an empty town and an empty house...all he heard was the dripping of water from the kitchen faucet echoing in his empty house...

The sound of water droplets echoing in Sasuke's empty heart, and Sasuke's tears are soon drowned out by the roar of the rain. The tears are falling from his eyes, just like raindrops fall from the sky. It emphasizes the depth of his pain. His tears are not shown running down his face, but used rain as a curtain that obscures and conceals, suggesting privacy, or implying that rain shielding his hidden emotions.

``Rain'' did not appear in Sasuke's childhood memories with his father, mother, and Itachi. In those flashback, kid Sasuke (at that time) speaks from his "heart". It shows what inside his heart. But everything changed after UMC.

After "that day", Sasuke seems to have closed his heart. When he joins the team 7, he gradually begins to show his ``heart''. But it didn't last long after his encounter with Itachi.

However, around the 20th volume, Sasuke begins to close his heart again, and after the ``Valley of the End'' where he fights Naruto, Sasuke's ``inner mind'' can hardly be described in words. Even though he tries to kill Naruto, in the end, he couldn't. The rain that started to fall at the end of the fight revealed what Sasuke's "true feelings'' were.

``Rain'' has often voiced Sasuke's thoughts on behalf of him, who never revealed his thoughts to anyone...

In VOTE1 it shows a painful/heartrending rain of sadness… it gently wet Naruto's cheeks conveying Sasuke's true feelings. The rain representing of his emotional turmoil, emphasizing the intensity of the emotions he is experiencing. When he is extremely sad or wants to cry, it always raining or cloudy. The rain is the tears that are falling down representing his pain. Kishi comparing the raindrops to tears, the dark sky looks so sad that it looks like it is crying, and the raindrops are the tears it sheds. His emotions are once again hidden out by the sound of the rain that weeping for him.

After fighting with Naruto, Sasuke was seen walking in the rain with a sad and pained face. As he walks through the rain he recollects all the happy memories he had with his father, mother and brother. Also, he thinks about what happened "that night" by showing his dead parents. And Finally, what his brother told him. "To awaken the same Mangekyo Sharingan, just like me... you must kill....your (extremely) closest friend "

At that time, Sasuke said to himself, he don't want to gain power the way Itachi told him and he will gain power his own way.

This shows that Sasuke doesn't want to follow in Itachi's footsteps to gain the Mangekyo Sharingan. So, he willingly went to Orochimaru's layer to gain power without killing his closest friend. The pain he suffered every time the curse seal was activated was he chosen to gain power... because the pain of losing Naruto couldn't be compared and endured like the curse seal.

The rain was falling heavily on him as he remembered all his memories with his family. The rain had already stopped as he walked into the darkness of the forest.

After his battle with Itachi, the rain caressed Sasuke who had become like a shell.

The blood (of his brother's) on his forehead slowly drips into his eyes and trickles down his cheek like teardrops. "Tears of blood". The rain was like Sasuke's empty heart, so empty that he couldn't even feel the sadness and despair that was attacking him.

This is the cover of ch. 476

The text saying: "I SHUT MY EYES A LONG TIME AGO. THE WAY TO MY GOALS LIES IN THE OTHER DIRECTION, IN THE DARKNESS"

when the battle with Danzo began, and in terms of the story, Sasuke was becoming increasingly lonely and dark.

The overall color is in this illustration is gloomy, and Sasuke is standing under the eaves, staring outside with a grim expression. It looks like the rain has already stopped, but it must have been a very heavy rainfall... rainwater is still dripping endlessly from the crowded eaves. In the corner where Sasuke is staring, the word "Darkness" can also be seen. This cover art can also be interpreted as an image showing "Sasuke heading into the darkness".

In an interview for cinematoday.jp, Kishi talked about Sasuke's character.

Q: What specifically do you mean by that?

Kishimoto: Say for instance that Sasuke is a character that likes tea, so if tea shows up in a scene, he'll drink it, but if it was juice, I don't think he would drink it because he doesn't like it. But if I turn it into a setting where the story won't advance if he doesn't drink juice, I have to employ a different pattern from when tea shows up or it doesn't work. But if it is decided that he will drink juice, his character image is messed up. That's why I ended up giving so many different circumstances to Sasuke, who appears in so many scenes.

Sasuke was going on a rampage against the samurai at the 5 Kage Summit arc. Each time Sasuke gradually becomes darker and darker. This shows that he is heading straight for darkness. His hatred got to the point where he couldn't think rationally and started killing everyone. To reach his goal, Sasuke will kill anyone in his path without hesitation.

Gaara tried to stop Sasuke but he couldn't. Karin, his teammate, is caught in Danzo's grip, but that doesn't move him...not even a little bit. Sakura.... Uhh??? Oh well, never mind. Kakashi tried to talk to him, but still couldn't reach him...

As kishi says, "But if I turn it into a setting where the story won't advance if he doesn't drink juice, I have to employ a different pattern from when tea shows up or it doesn't work"

The moment Naruto came into the picture, Sasuke stopped his rampage and got distracted. A moment before Naruto's arrival, Sasuke had a murderous aura, but now it was gone. Then he started listening to him.

So, Naruto is the tea in this scene, while Kakashi, Sakura, Karin, and Gaara are all Juice. Naruto is the light in his darkness.

Rain reappeared and drenched him as he went to cut Naruto out of his life and then seek revenge. But on his way, his plan got diverted when Itachi comes into the picture and then follows his brother. In this scene Itachi becomes the tea.

Sasuke cries three times in the manga. There is no rain in those scenes when he is crying.

U̲M̲C̲

He cried when he saw the lifeless bodies of his parents in their pool of blood. He chased his brother with tears streaming down his face because he can't accept that his brother killed them. And his first awakening occurred when he realizes his brother is going to leave him.

T̲r̲u̲t̲h̲

This is the most emotional moment of his life after umc. His chaos in his mind was perfectly drawn with dusk sky, the cry of a hawk and waves crashing against the shore. When he realized his brother's love....he was no more. The pain is indescribable and unbearable. There was no one else for him in this world No Parents, No brother, No family. Once again he becomes lonely.

N̲a̲r̲u̲t̲o̲

He's lying next to the person he genuinely loves and cares about, and he doesn't mind showing it with his eyes. Sasuke shows his vulnerability towards Naruto with his eyes. Even when Itachi says goodbye to Sasuke after releasing Edo Tensei, he says his last words to his brother, stating that no matter what happens or what he does from here on out, he will always love him. And Sasuke looked sad and hurt but he didn't cry. Sasuke never showed his emotions in front of others, like crying, laughing, and worrying. When we saw Sasuke crying after learning the truth of Itachi, he was facing towards the beach...far away from the others. Letting out emotions is kind of a weakness. However, when it came to Naruto, Sasuke cried, laughed, and worried about him. Sasuke cries and it's his tears of happiness...because even after everything he did to Naruto....Naruto still and always loves and trusts him. Just as light (sunrise) defeats darkness, Naruto's love defeats Sasuke's darkness.

#Naruto analysis #Naruto #Sasuke #Itachi #sns #narusasu #sasunaru #my stuff

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undead-supernova · 2 months

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It's My Body and It Hates You / Masterlist

plot: memories are resurfacing. you thought that you were getting better. he wasn't haunting you now that you are with eddie. but, fuck, healing is just not that linear.

pairing: boyfriend!Eddie x afab!reader

important notes: this is about healing from previous sexual assault. this is as self-serving as it gets!!! and it can be HIGHLY TRIGGERING for other victims! but i thought maybe if someone else has gone through this before too, they could find comfort in it.

hate that I have to add this but please be respectful of my experiences. I have cowered away from posting this for months, but I think I should be allowed the right to shine a light on these issues and what intimacy looks like post-trauma.

wc: 3.4k

song reference: Everybody Loves You by Charlotte Lawrence (which has helped with my healing so so much over the last few years)

It starts the moment you wake up.

The remembering.

It’s his cerulean eyes you think about first, nearly glossed over with the glare of the morning light. The way it used to, at least. It made everything inside you soften; made everything slow down.

Back in the early days. Back when it didn’t fill you with melancholy. Back when you thought being in love meant to be in constant fear.

Way before you ever met someone like Eddie. Way before you knew that good men existed.

You look over to find Eddie gone already, having promised to help set up for a parade at the local middle school Nancy works at. He’s been teaching some of her students how to play guitar, even going so far as to buy them some cables and help update the sheet music they stashed in a closet.

Eddie’s good like that.

Generous. Observant. Selfless.

And it’s awful, but you wish he’d stayed home. Because something in you is starting to fall apart and it’s not pretty. It’s not palatable like they show on TV.

No, it’s something much more visceral.

It’s been almost four years since it started, since you fell into a not-so-serious relationship with some guy that turned into something sinister.

All of the running around and the secrets kept from your friend group that (not so surprisingly) doesn’t exist anymore. The ones who were so sure you were just obsessed with him. The ones who still talked to him after.

You were supposed to only have sex. That was it.

But, of course, what’s a little sex without his longing glances and soft embrace and sleeping over and early morning kisses? Sweet nothings, cuddles and hand holding?

But, no. He swore it to be friendship, just something casual. Even when he told you three separate times throughout your time together that he wanted something more. But it was fleeting, backtracking a day or two later to say he just wasn’t ready for a relationship. Ghosted you for two weeks, maybe a month at the most. Come back with a few sexts and suddenly you were fucking again.

No strings, he’d say. We can’t be in a relationship.

So you stayed that way. Kept everything inside the best you could. Stood in the mirror with your lips sewn shut, tears trickling down your cheeks as if every teardrop was another regret. Smiled as much as you could, waiting for him to look away before you allowed yourself to let it falter.

And then there was the sex. That’s all anyone cared about in relationships, right? Not the person, just the body. Just the sexual object, a mere paperweight for the other to use.

The sex hurt from the beginning, his fingers never fitting right. His mouth always just a little bit too rough. But, fuck, it just always seemed to hurt. So you never truly finished, always faking it and finishing in the shower afterwards.

But you loved him. You loved the way he held you afterwards, the way his back shone in the morning light whenever he slept over. The fun little bickering back and forth whenever he was coming down from the dopamine rush. Ordering in and laughing at each other when stealing fries became a full-on wrestling match.

And at some point.

Well.

You stopped receiving.

He’d try to arouse you, but ultimately it was always to please him. He was always too tired afterwards anyways. And though you wanted to stop, you just…did it anyways. You would sit there, reminding yourself that it would stop once you got him off.

When it ends, it’ll be okay. He’ll stay. He’ll finally tell you he loves you. Just hold on. Just keep doing that and he’ll finish and then you’ll be fine. Just a few more minutes. Just do this. Just do that.

Just, just, just…

It’s fine.

Until it didn’t feel fine. Until he berated you one day, saying that the two of you couldn’t have sex every day and that your “friendship” was getting out of hand. That you wanted too much from him even though he was the one who initiated.

Because, like with your emotions, you’d learned that if you attempted to initiate sex, the answer was no.

And so he yelled. And yelled. And yelled. Until you were sitting on the couch watching one of his lame TV shows and his hand ghosted over to your thigh. Stroked it. Gave you that look. Leaned in. Kissed you. Wrapped his fingers around your jaw and brought you back in unexpectedly.

This happened more times than you like to admit.

When he finally decided to commit, it lasted a month.

And, god, was it was a shitty month.

He introduced you to his mother who really didn’t care enough to ask you any questions about yourself and even made it a point to say that you and her son were very different—almost too different. When you told your friends, they weren’t happy for you. They were confused, even. He never talked about you, so how were you now suddenly dating?

He never wanted to go on dates, never gave you anything special that he hadn’t stolen. Only called you beautiful between the sheets and told you he loved you in whispers. Even told you that telling him you miss him was manipulation, guilt tripping him into feeling bad for being gone.

So you stopped saying it. Stopped thinking about it. Started telling yourself to be grateful that he was still there.

When he dumped you that final time, on April 1st of all days, you’d laughed hysterically. It was the moment you realized that this was all he’d ever be. All he’d ever do. You saw all the patterns and the seduction and the manipulation and the fucking fucking and knew that this was a vicious cycle that would never end unless you were the one to cut the cord.

And, well, you’d already snapped.

You thought that everything had been consensual. That you’d wanted it. Even though you didn’t, not one bit. You just wanted him to stay.

But it couldn’t have been rape. No, not at all.

But, like, you didn’t want it and you most definitely felt taken advantage of every single time and he definitely touched you whenever he wanted you to fuck him and get your arousal to distract you and the word coercion definitely sat in your mouth all funny and…

It had to be consensual.

Right?

For two years, you thought you’d never go near romance again.

When you met Eddie, a friend of a friend, you were so confused by how gentle he was. Always having a smile for you, always telling your friend that he enjoyed your presence. He gave you little presents, like stickers and rocks from conventions and comic book stores. A few amethysts after you told him they were your favorite. Learned your coffee order and your favorite foods.

If you were hanging out, you were playing video games or board games with his friends or laughing or giggling or swapping embarrassing secrets or, or or...

His friends would leak in every now and then, filling up cups and hosting potlucks galore. Steve, Robin, and Nancy made sure to affirm your solidified place in their lives while Gareth, Grant, and Jeff made sure you were a key member in campaigns.

And Eddie was always there at the end of those nights, washing your dishes and collecting trash just so you could catch some sleep.

It was such a stark contrast from the friend group you’d been in before.

And, fuck, you’d never felt so free.

A few months into your friendship, Eddie made it clear that he had feelings for you. Asked if you were feeling the same way and that he’d fuck off if you told him to. When you laughed and said you kind of liked him back, he asked you out on a proper date, something you hadn’t had before.

He did that whole thing with the flowers and the tie and the car door and the restaurant door and the chair and the laughter and the nice champagne and the walking you up to your apartment.

His arms were behind his back, keeping a safe distance. Under the dim flickering light of the hallway, his dark irises met yours. You searched them for any sign of danger.

But they were gentle. Kind.

Warm.

And you stood there, waiting for him to kiss you or try to come in.

But he didn’t.

He’d said, “Could we do this again?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

He turned to walk back down the stairs. But you touched his shoulder.

“Wait, you’re not going to try to come in?”

Eddie merely smiled at you, tugging at the stray hairs leaving his bun. “Oh, uh. That’s not how I want to do things.”

“Really?”

He shook his head, still smiling. “Really. Sorry to disappoint—”

“No!” you exclaimed, maybe a little too loud. “No, I just. Um, no one’s ever— Anyways, it’s not important. I’m sorry. I’d love to go on a second date.”

You sat in bed that night, trying to ward away the nightmares creeping up. Feeling locked in place, feeling scared. Felt it in your arms. Your spine. Your cracked chest.

Feeling terrified that Eddie was just lying.

Feeling doubtful that this would ever be more than some hookup.

And yet, it became anything but that.

On your sixth date, you finally told him about your ex, trying to explain why you were the way you were. Why you flinched at any casual touch and why the idea of being intimate was scary for you. Why you’d been so hesitant with Eddie in the first place.

You rambled on and on, from the way you couldn’t even masturbate half of the time to avoiding porn because you flashed back to those moments. The ones where everything always had to hurt. The ones where you had to make yourself into a sex doll just to be seen. Just to have worth that ultimately meant nothing.

It was like your body was stuck, like it was empty and full of cobwebs. It was just the strangest sensation, like your body knew something you didn’t.

“It’s silly, I know,” you’d said. “I don’t know why it’s all still so scary for me. It’s not even a big deal.”

Eddie whispered your name then, hesitantly reaching his fingers out to skim yours. “And you have no idea why you feel this way?” he asked, an eyebrow lifting.

Yours furrowed. Softly, you asked, “What are you trying to say?”

“I think…” Eddie took a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily before gazing at you again. “Um, I think he raped you.”

He watched your eyes widen then.

And as the waves of grief washed through you that night, Eddie held onto you. His strong arms anchored you to the life you had now, the one you were living in spite of this horror.

But it didn’t mean any of this made sense. What had you done to deserve this? Where was your fault?

But, fuck, how could you have even known?

And why would that be your fault anyways?

“You don’t need to see this,” you’d sobbed, shaking your head. “I-I—”

You couldn’t even finish your sentence, heaving another sob before his arms tightened around you.

“You’re not alone,” he whispered, kissing your temple. “I’m here, okay?”

“I’m here.”

You cried the first time he made you cum.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he’d cooed. “It’s okay. You’re safe with me, I promise. Let it out.”

You nodded then, taking your tired arms and wrapping them around his neck. Pulled him closer, closer than you’d been with anyone. Hugged him tight. Kept him inside you. Tried to remind yourself that he wasn’t going to walk away. He was here with you. He was present.

Not too long after that, you’d been under him again, breathlessly thanking him.

Eddie had stilled inside you, leaning back to look into your glassy eyes.

“What for?” he’d asked.

“For being so sweet to me,” you responded, sniffling. “For letting me feel good.”

“Sweetheart, I—” Eddie got choked up on the words, getting teary-eyed himself. “You never have to thank me for making sure you feel good, alright?” You nodded. “I want you to feel good. Always.”

Nodding again, you asked, “Would you…keep going? Please?”

He smiled then, wiping the sides of his eyes. “Yeah,” he breathed. “Anything you want.”

“Thank you,” you’d said, taking his hand in yours. “Thank you.”

After that, Eddie approached things a bit differently.

Even when he was fucking the shit out of you, which you didn’t even know could actually feel good, he was so gentle. Kissed your face after you came two, three times before praising you.

“You did so good, baby. So, so good.”

“So proud of you.”

“You’re so beautiful. I bet you knew that already, though. Absolutely perfect.”

It started to stitch back together something inside you that you didn’t know could be mended.

Somehow, within the last six months, you stopped being able to have sex.

It came out of nowhere—all the flashbacks and panic attacks. The moments of arousal that seem to wash away seconds after it’s felt. Hell, even the thought of masturbation has started to make you sad again.

Your body recoils from that kind of intimacy now, even Eddie’s touch being clouded with the memory of Him. And you’re working on it. You are. Sometimes you have therapy twice a week just to talk about it and undo whatever it is that’s starting to worm its way into your every day life.

Despite it all, you still try doing little things with him so that you can enjoy yourselves, like getting off while lying next to each other. It always ends in giddy laughter and gentle cuddling. Soft kisses and the promise for another round later.

But recently you can’t help but feel like you’re something that weighs him down, keeps him from experiencing true pleasure. That you’re just a tattered and torn tapestry that holds no image anymore.

By the time Eddie gets home that night, you’re on your third glass of wine, silently crying in your shared living room. It’s not the best sight, your white t-shirt gone after you’d spilled the drink while trying to sit down. You’re naked, chest stained with the scarlet liquid from shaky fingers.

Eddie immediately throws the keys on the counter and rushes over to you.

“Hey, what happened? What’s going on?” He gently runs his fingers through your hair. “What’s going on, sweetheart?”

You shake your head. “He’s back. In my head. I can’t get him out, Eddie. I can’t get him out.”

“Hey, come here. It’s going to be—”

He tries to wrap his arms around you, but it’s seconds before you’re pushing him away from you. You can’t feel Eddie tonight. No. You only feel Him. That monster, that unforgivable personification of hell.

“Stop! Stop!” you plead. “There’s so much pain. Just so much. I can’t keep doing this. It’s so painful.”

There’s nothing but those cobwebs inside you with little insects scurrying about. Maggots squirming in and out of your flesh. The hands, His hands that disemboweled you from the start, are still clawing at your ribcage. After all, He left you for dead, disgusting and discarded. Poisoned. Tained.

You’re suffering.

And you don’t suffer beautifully. You’re not draped in silk sheets and clutching your pearls as your trauma washes over you in delicate, smudged mascara tears. No, your naked body shivers with the cold air and sticky spilled wine and your nails are crooked from the biting and the picking. Your eyes are sore and there’s something worse clawing at your throat.

“Baby, hey…” Eddie trails, lightly stroking your arm. “It’s okay. Just breathe for me, okay?”

“No, I’m so fucking done!” you scream, slamming your glass on the coffee table, watching as it cracks. “I can’t fucking believe this stupid thing happened to me and now I can’t do shit during sex and I’m just broken. I’m just fucking broken. And it’s all his fault!”

You choke on a sob, collapsing back onto the carpet. “It’s all his fault,” you whisper, overcome with sorrow.

“Hey, hey. Come here,” Eddie whispers, tentatively pulling you back into his arms.

“I want this to be over with.” Your voice comes out exasperated. Exhausted. Like even the thought of having to keep going through this is about to do you in. “I just want it to be over.”

“I know.”

“It’s so gross. It’s so gross! I feel so fucking tainted and like I’m full of toxic waste. Like goo, you know? Just fucking oozing with the stuff.”

Eddie simply nods, holding you tighter to his chest. “Did you, like, get triggered? Last time, you said it was that detergent at the store.”

You shake your head. “No, it’s like I woke up being assaulted or something. It’s absolute bullshit. I thought I was done with this. I thought it was over. I thought I’d been to therapy enough that it was letting me get back to having sex and being normal.”

“Ah, come on, sweetheart,” he cooed. “There’s no such thing as being normal, especially after something like that. You know that.” You let out a huff, one of your stubborn ones that leaves a small smile on Eddie’s lips. “Besides, you’re the only one punishing yourself for not being able to have sex right now.”

Sniffling, you look up to meet his eyes. “You’re not mad at me?”

His eyebrows furrow, shaking his head as he continues to smile at you. “Why would I be mad at you, hm? I don’t want to have sex if you’re not feeling it.”

“Oh,” you say simply. “Okay. Yeah.”

Arms tightening, he states, “That’s how it should always be.”

You nod. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“And we have our things we do,” he adds, fiddling with your fingers. “You know, getting off at the same time.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” you ask.

“Not to get, like, vulgar right now, but I think it’s hot.” That gets a laugh out of you. “I’m really into it ‘cause you’re super into it.”

“I like it,” you agree, the haze starting to dissipate from your vision. “It makes me feel safe and I just…it’s nice.”

“Then we can keep doing that until you’re ready to do anything else, alright?”

You nod, still trying to clear the fog.

“I know what I signed up for, sweetheart,” he says, giving you a quick squeeze. “I knew it wasn’t going to be easy for you, no matter how much I wish it was.”

“I’m gonna get through this,” you say with a nod. “I know I can do this. I just need some time to figure out how to change what’s happening inside me.”

“See? That’s my girl,” he whispers, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “My strong, beautiful, brave girl.”

“How were the kids?”

It’s dark in your bed, the covers seemingly comfier than they’ve ever been. Eddie has you curled into his arms, hiding you away from the assailants and the monsters of the world. There’s no Him here. For now, you’re resting in the arms of solace.

“Absolutely terrible,” he says, causing you to chuckle. “But I think they had fun. Nance is good at the teaching thing, bossing the kids around, you know?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Would you keep talking to me?” you ask. “I want to hear more about your day.”

Eddie trails on, stroking your hair. He tells you about the tiny parade the classes had and how the mini float they made stopped moving halfway through. Steve came just in time to see it break down and they worked together to get it back up and running again.

He says you would’ve had fun.

Says it’s okay that you weren’t okay enough to come.

Says it’s okay that you’re struggling with this.

“You’re doing your best,” he whispers as your eyes start to get too difficult to open. “And I love you so much. I’m right here with you.”

Love doesn’t come easily after sexual assault. When there’s no one left to trust and the idea of sex is appealing but the follow through fills you with intense anxiety, the thought of a relationship is…tough. It’s easy until it’s hard and it’s hard until it’s easy. It’s like every day comes with something new, whether it be good or bad.

Eddie’s the exception that you never saw coming. And you’re so fucking glad you were able to see the day where you got to meet him. Fall in love with him. Stay with him.

And he tells you one last truth before you fall asleep.

“You aren’t broken, even if you feel like it. Just a little bent, baby. That’s all.”

shout out to @strangergraphics for her dividers...and a big thanks to her for encouraging me to share this when I was giving up.

if you are going through anything like this, know that you're not alone. it's a scary experience and people don't really talk about the way the body is just as affected by trauma as the brain is. healing is not linear and you will get through this.

stay strong.

#Eddie munson x reader #eddie munson/reader #Eddie munson x you #Eddie munson/you #boyfriend!eddie munson #Eddie x you #Eddie x reader #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson hurt/comfort

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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junkiespromise · 1 year

Text

the eras - masterlist

Twenty two stories inspired by the lyrics from all Taylor Swift albums.

drivers: mv1, dr3, ln4, sv5, pg10, fa14, cl16, aa23, eo31, lh44, ms47, cs55, gr63, op81.

note/warnings: english is not my native language, so there will probably be some spellings mistakes, even though i will try to have as least as possible. Also, you can request from any of drivers above with whatever songs you want that has not been asigned to a driver, if the song is followed by three dots then you can leave a request for that song. Please read the specific warnings for each story as there will probably be some angst and some topics you may not be comfortable reading :)

PS: I will also be posting other stories and social media Au's and if you want to request for any other song for taylor or any type of Au/imagine freely do so. :)

If you want to get tagged on the next stories just leave a comment and I will do it

Teardrops on my Guitar | pg10

They had been friends for years, her always yearning for him to look at her like she did just once but he never did and she wishes that the girl he loves can adore him like she does.

Tim Mcgraw | ...

"And i was right there beside him all summer long. And then the time i woke up to find that summer gone"

Superstar | ms47 (2.4k words)

Where two young kids fall in love but the world one of them is involved in seems to be against their happiness.

The Way I Loved You | ... & ...

"And he says, you look beautiful tonight, and I feel perfectly fine. But i miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain"

Enchanted | cs55

At one of those fancy parties they met, those where she had to be introduced to everybody with a shaking hand or a nod. But she left with a tingling sensation and the need to know more about him.

Back to December | dr3 (soon to be made a series)

She knew that if she could go back in time she would re do everything a do it right this time. But she can't and now she only has those memories left.

Begin Again | pg10 (2.0k words)

All the love she ever knew was one that hurted and burned but at a Parisian coffe shop on a wednesday she realized that maybe that was not all that love had to offer.

Stay, Stay, Stay | mv1 (requested)

"Before you, I'd only dated self-indulgent takers, who took all of their problems out on me, but ypu carry my groceries and now I'm always laughing"

You Are in Love | ln4

Best friends, that's what they called each other, even with the dances and pictures in offices they still called each other that. But a drunk call on a late night might change everything.

Wildest Dreams | sv5 (requested)

"You'll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night, burning it down. Someday when you leave me, I bet these memories. Follow you around"

How You Get The Girl | ln4 (requested)

After months of back and forths and unofficial relationships he finds himself infront of her house completely soaked but with the intention to work things out

Style | ...

"And when we go crushing down, we come back every time, 'cause we never go out of time"

New Years Day | lh44 (requested)

"Don't read the last page, but I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong, or we're making mistakes I want your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day"

Gorgeous | ms47

He can't quite understand what he's done to her as she seems to despise him so much, if he only knew the reason why.

I Think He Knows | ln4 (requested)

"Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh We can follow the sparks, I'll drive. So where we gonna go? I whisper in the dark. Where we gonna go? I think he knows"

Cornelia Street | lh44 (requested)

"Windows swung right open, autumn air Jacket 'round my shoulders is yours We bless the rains on Cornelia Street Memorize the creaks in the floor"

The Lakes | sv5

When the world seems to haunt them they find themselves looking for each other on the toughest times

Mirrorball | mv1

Where he tries to do everything to please everybody but when he's with her he can be his true self.

Gold Rush | cl16

Her mind can't understand why everybody is so infatuated by the Charles Leclerc until she finds her heart fluttering when he's around and can not explain it.

Ivy | lh44

Where she finds herself in the claws of a love less relationship and even knowing it's wrong she goes to seek comfort and love in the arms of another

Midnight Rain | ...

"My boy was a montage, a slow-motion, love potion. Jumping off things in the ocean I broke his heart 'cause he was nice"

Maroon | cs55

The rise and fall of a short but, oh, so, ardent relationship, between two strangers who one night met and became more than that.

♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡ ♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡

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bones4thecats · 6 months

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Hey! I love your writing and have been wondering what the ror characters (Poseidon, Thor, Adam, Hades, etc really your choice) would react to a blue diamond s/o from Steven Universe. As when they cry everyone else surrounding them cries. And their giant size. Sorry if this isn't the right place to request!

A/N: Hello there, thank you for the compliment. I’ve tried my best in keeping my writing skills the same, yet updated based on the scenario. But, I do hope you like how this turned out! I’ll be using the three Gods you had mentioned, and I’ll be leaving Adam out, but if you want another part written with Humans, just send it in! Now, enjoy~~

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🔱 You were part of the new Pantheon that had made their way into Valhalla, representing different gems that were found throughout the world by your ancient people

🔱 When he first met you, many said you would get along, especially Zeus and Hades

🔱 You sat by the edge of the sea, your towering form scaring away any Gods from speaking to you

🔱 He could feel the sadness radiating off you, and when he felt his vision blur, he reached his hand up and noticed he was crying out of free will

🔱 When you noticed him crying behind you, you gasped and apologized, saying it happened whenever someone was around, and even if they were happy, they’d cry

🔱 It took a while, but after you guys got together and married, it was normal to see your husband and you sitting side-by-side

🔱 To have this make a bit more sense, let’s say you can shrink down to his size

🔱 When you do that to rest, he likes to lay his head on your chest where you blue diamond laid, for some reason it calmed him down

🔱 Poseidon and you both were prominent figures in your pantheons, so being apart constantly was normal, but that didn’t stop you from accidentally making him cry

🔱 The way your merciful nature did come at a halt with how humans had started to get themselves tossed into hell made him fall for you more

“ Yes, look down on them, my teardrop. They are nothing. “

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🌩️ Thor fell for you because of how gentle and caring you could be

🌩️ It was something that he lacked to show, but you seemed to thrive showing

🌩️ You were known for your amazing diplomatic skills used through Gods’ Council meetings, and it could make anyone side with you

🌩️ The power you held made him happily look at you behind a dead-looking facade

🌩 Now, with the size difference, he doesn’t really mind it

🌩️ Normally, he’s the larger one, like this guy’s 7’4, he’s pretty much always taller than someone

🌩️ Thor would look up at you and smile lightly, giving you a kiss on your hand as you squatted down to reach his gaze, since you’d be like 25-100ft

🌩️ But, since you do enjoy shrinking down to do things with your husband, you normally go to around 6’5-7’0 most of the time whenever you’re not working with your sisters

🌩️ He noticed how much you seemed to care about this young male on Earth whom you called ‘Pink Diamond’ and he just smiled to himself as you laid down on his chest, telling stories of him and your sisters

🌩️ His favorite part of being married to you is how much you seemed to care about certain humans, as they were innocent and did no wrong, while you despised others and wished for them to die

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

💀 Oh yeah, you and him bonded ever since birth

💀 You guys had been together for centuries, and he knew your sisters very well, they even enjoyed having him around

💀 He witness everything happen year-by-year, how much pressure White Diamond had put on you all, Pink Diamond leaving and ‘dying’, Yellow Diamond trying to push the memories of Pink behind her to be perfect, and you going through many essential crises

💀 Hades watched as you went through every single crisis, struggling at times to manage all of the colonies you and your sisters had

💀 So, being the best husband he could, he made sure to have your top superiority manage it while he took you to Helheim to calm you down

💀 When it came to the crying thing, he doesn’t mind it, seeing other Gods try holding themselves back from crying as you sat there doing nothing was quite funny

💀 And your size? Not a problem

💀 Cerberus loves the hell out of you, your big size and his big size (around 15ft) make a fun mix to play

💀 Seeing you shrink down to share a bed was funny at first, and now when he sees your form shrink he smiles gently and hugs you as you sleep

💀 Like Poseidon, he also likes to lay his head on your chest, but instead of laying his head on the gem in your chest, he likes to run his hands on it and mess with your hair that wrapped around your chest

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azul-marie · 8 months

Text

leon. (dolor)

fem. reader. angst with comfort. mentions of trauma.

he stands at the bedroom doorway, brows tight and tense the way they get when he’s lost in twilight thoughts.

he doesn’t walk in. he doesn’t quite look at you. just stares at the visage of you sitting up in bed, curled up under blankets and clean duvets, cuddled into dovefeather pillows. scrolling through your device, observing whatever it is you’re talking to him about lately. that show, that book you’re into. maybe some hobby you’re getting better at.

leon, for a good long while, stares into the mundane of the room.

you don’t say anything. you don’t insist, or inquire, or shoo away. you know this is how he gets sometimes. you know it’s because of everything that’s happened. everything, everywhere, everyone that resides behind those sky blue eyes, hollow and sunken, deciding to visit him every now and then, even on good days like today. even on days when earlier he’d looked at you like a man falling in love for the very first time, all over again, whose handsome face twinkled with mirth and stars and the kind of youth he may have once had when he was a boy.

leon stares. strong, safe body frozen at the door. tousled hair. roaming eyes. if you look closely enough, you may be able to see the growing desperation to ground himself. to ground his mind, at once racing with repressed memories but blank with numbness and nothing. there’s so much. so much yet so little he can manage to think out, to put into concept, perception.

it must show. it must because you finally lift your head up and force his eyes on yours, and you’re so sweet and beatific and good he wonders why you’re even here, when did you get here? between the blood and bites and flesh and bones and mama and dad and the city and spain and luis and jack when did you show up? when was it decided that you’d love him and stay? after everything he did, after everything he didn’t, why was it you chose him?

something burns down the sides of his face. one by one by one something burns after the other, but he doesn’t move. doesn’t make a sound. he just stares, stares and hopes you don’t notice it’s a bad one this time, hopes you notice he wants to talk now, he does, but he can’t, he can’t because nothing is coming out and his mouth is open but he can’t he can’t—

“sit with me, sweetie. keep me company.”

you pat the space beside you. the normal, cheery way you do. if he looks too close, he’ll see the calm look of worry you wear. but he doesn’t, because he might start hiding everything away again if he realizes the state he’s in. reminds himself it’s okay though. it’s okay, because it’s you, no one else, no one to hide from like so many times before.

leon finally moves. he watches himself from somewhere high up above the ceiling, climbing into the place you directed him to. he’s shaking. he looks a mess. but the feel of cool sheets and soft pillows brings him back just enough. enough to catch his breath, to try to organize a racing mind.

your hand sticks out. not too close, not too far. a noncommittal invitation. i’m here. it says to him. i’m here if you want. only if you want.

leon curls himself into your lap, taking the both of you by surprise.

the back of his head presses into your stomach. his nose pokes the soft of your thigh. his hair falls over his tear-striped face, shoulders trembling with silent sorrow. his hand frantically searches for something up above.

it lands on yours. without a word, he sets it over the hairs of his head, and silently motions for you to pet him.

“please.” is all he says.

you listen.

teardrops cascade down the expanse of your skin, each one a memory unspoken. uselessly do his hands cup his cheeks to catch them before they bloom, before he remembers the reason behind their fall. they will not stop. his silence becomes that of weeping whimpers, low, deep, from the cavity of his chest.

your fingers are featherlight across his scalp, a cautious touch in the wave of emotion. you say nothing only because you know he needs this, the physicality of affection, for words and sentiment are lost on deep dark hurt, unable to comfort like the caresses from a lover.

the two of you stay like this, for a long while. waiting for the tide to change, the storm to pass. until his tears lessen into saltskin, until he blinks fog away from damp lashes and loose strays of hair. you pull strands away from his rosy, tear stained cheeks to tuck them behind his ear. you run a gentle hand down his jaw, to the aching bob of his throat.

“my love, my boy.” you say softly. “you’re everything to me. nothing will change that. it’s been so hard for so long, i know. you’ve been strong all this time, leon.”

“what if i can’t do it? what if it’s not enough for you?”

“you’re more than enough, lee. you’ve been trying your best, don’t forget that in these moments. you’re home and life to me, always. love, darling, would i lie to you?”

his answer is immediate. “never.”

and he takes comfort in the pressing of your lips to the shell of his ear, the curve of cheeks and tissue scarred by the past. eyes shut tight, basking in the waves of gradual calm over him, keeping back the dark for the time being.

but he knows there’s too much to heal with simple kisses or honeyed words. plenty things he can’t bring himself to speak aloud with you. perhaps that’s where he’ll start, find somewhere to go, someone qualified to talk to. take the load off his back, and keep from worrying you, too.

he entwines your fingers together. brings them up for a kiss to your knuckles. “i love you. i’d do anything for you. anything.” hoarse his voice may be, he speaks strongly, clearly to emit his conviction. leon presses kiss after kiss across your fingertips, heart caught in his throat by how gently you cradle him into your bosom.

the warmth of your love lulls his fatigue into a dreamless sleep; his last thought is full of you and you alone.

#resident evil 4 imagines #re4 imagines #resident evil imagines #resident evil x reader #re imagine #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy imagines #leon + angst = my favorite trope #i love exploring his mind. i love thinking deeply about how he has suffered. i love making situations for him to face his trauma head-on.#i know it isn’t the most popular way to write him but i just think it’s neat to see him like this 😭#tldr i just like the idea of leon being sad so i can kiss him better LMAO #i’m reminded that i haven’t caught up with separate ways yet!! i need my ada fix soon…

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mxigo · 1 year

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soul sick | part 1

SERIES SYNOPSIS: It’s hard enough watching the male that holds your heart pine for another woman, one that is the definition of beauty and grace, but to watch him fall for another yet again after you feel the mating bond snap into place is its own hell. A hell that makes you dangerously ill.

CHAPTER SYNOPSIS: you get ready to go out with Azriel after his check in with the Illyrian camps, but things don’t go as planned.

WARNINGS: 18+, angst, swearing. a relatively tame first chapter

WORD COUNT: 3.7k

MINORS & AGE-LESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. YOUR AGE MUST BE SOMEWHERE IN YOUR BIO OR YOUR BYF.

NEXT CHAPTER

a.n. if i get anything wrong i’m blaming it on my shit memory and the fact that i haven’t finished acowar and haven’t read acofas and acosf. really just going off what i remember and what i’ve read in other fics. enjoy!

It has been three months since Feyre’s sisters were Made and subsequently brought to the Night Court. You’ve done what you could in aiding their transition to fae life, even getting as far as calling Nesta a friend, cold façade and all. But while you have gained a friend, you’re beginning to lose your best friend, and the male that you love, all at the same time.

It first started with him checking in for a second after the two of you had come back from being out and about in Velaris, then it turned to him apologetically explaining that he already had plans with Elain for the evening, and now, you hardly see him at all anymore.

It’s become more often than not that he spends his time with Elain, leaving you on the back burner, as a second thought to his plans now. You have other friends, yes, but you don’t remember a day where you haven’t at least sent notes back and forth to each other since you became close. It’s like you’re missing a part of you, something that is supposed to be there but isn’t anymore, and your body knows it. Why did it have to be him? She has a mate waiting for her for crying out loud, one who you can tell just genuinely wants to know her, and Azriel is entertaining her, knowing full well what her position is.

Guilt eats at you for these jealous feelings, knowing that the girl has been through so much when her entire life was ripped away and was literally turned into something that she was taught her entire life to fear. You want to be accepting and carefree about the situation, but it is literally impossible when you catch him looking at her with the intense adoration that you have yearned for decades for, and she has simply swooped in and stole him from you.

But tonight, you and Azriel have plans to go out into Velaris for the night for dinner. It’s your tradition that you’ve had for years to catch up after his return from his visits to the Illyrian camps, something to help him unwind. You just hope that for a single night that you can forget about it.

The new dress you bought just yesterday is a beautiful deep burgundy color, the hem falling just above your mid-thigh, long-sleeved, and the neckline plunges lower than what you are used to wearing. You were able to find a pair of nude heels that fit you perfectly in a corner shop. You were even successful in keeping your hair styled for the occasion. It was safe to say that you looked stunning, and there was a glimmer of hope that it wouldn’t be left unnoticed by him.

The heels’ click echoes off the paneled hallway as you scramble to finish getting ready, knowing that you need to leave. You stride into your bedroom, beelining for the jewelry tree on your vanity. Considering the colors that you’re wearing, you think a gold set would be the best, and you know exactly which to wear. Gently, you pick up the teardrop Alexandrite earrings and necklace that Azriel had bought you after one of his trips to the Summer Court. The gem’s color shifts between purple and green depending on the light source, easily making them your favorite pieces.

It hurts a bit when you try to put the earrings in, meeting a bit of resistance as it’s been a while since you’ve last worn any, but you’re able to get them through without too much trouble. The necklace thankfully clasps easily around your neck, the pendant falling in the middle of your chest. The delicate gold glitters in the candlelight, making you smile at the memory of Azriel giving it to you. With a shack of your head, you snap out of the memory’s haze, misting yourself with perfume as a last thought before leaving your bedroom.

The click of your heels echoes off the buildings lining the road as you make your way to Rhys’ townhouse to meet Azriel for drinks before dinner. The night’s cool breeze causes your flesh to break out in goose bumps, but it feels nice over all.

The door unlocks as you turn the knob, and the house becomes alight as you enter. The candles flicker to life to bring the house into a cozy atmosphere, and even the fireplace roars to life to stave off the last of the early spring chill.

The grandfather clock in the foyer chimes, signaling the turn of the hour at seven o’clock. Your heart flutters, excitement filling you knowing that he’ll be here any minute. You make your way into the kitchen, pulling out Azriel’s favorite whiskey and your favorite liqueur, grabbing two tumblers out of the cabinet to set it all out on the table.

Minutes tick by as you wait for him to winnow into the kitchen like he always does, a soft smile on his face as he holds out his elbow like the gentleman he is to winnow you wherever you want to go. You settle into a cushioned seat in the adjoining living room, picking up a book that has been left out and flipping open to the page that you had left on.

Those couple of minutes turn into five, then into fifteen, and then by thirty minutes, you’re constantly glancing between the clock and the kitchen, anxiety eating away at you. Azriel has never been late like this before, and if he’s ever late, it’s only by no more than five. Your stomach rumbles as hunger makes itself known, and you set down the book on the table to stand up. Maybe something happened that’s causing him to be late, but there’s a little voice that’s whispering to you, saying that he’s forgotten about you, that he’s preoccupied by a certain sister.

You shake your head, setting the book back into its spot to stand up and head back into the kitchen. You pour a drink and watch as the dark amber liquid swirls into the cup before settling around the ice. More minutes pass as you finish the drink only to pour another, still waiting, hoping that he will pop into the room, spewing apologies as he tries to explain why he was so late.

But it doesn’t happen. Instead, it is Rhys that winnows into the kitchen, startling you so bad you nearly fall off the stool.

“Mother, Rhys, give a girl a warning before you snap in like that,” you joke, righting yourself up. Your eyes meet his, and you’re confused because he’s confused, staring at you like you are crazy.

“What are you doing here? Are you meeting someone?” he asks, his head tilted slightly as he stares still.

There is a sinking feeling in your stomach, but you want so badly to be wrong about what’s happening.

“I’m meeting Az here. We’re supposed to be going out tonight like we always do when he comes back from the camps, but he’s late. Have you seen him by chance?” A look passes over Rhys’ face, and you recognize that look immediately, your face dropping, heart hammering as you wait for those few words.

“Oh, sweetheart, he left the House with Elain,” he whispered, like you would shatter at just those words, and you suppose you do.

Your breathing stutters, and it’s like the world goes fuzzy, the sounds muted as your breaks cracks. Never in all the years have you been friends with Azriel has he ever forgotten about your nights out when he comes back, let alone either forgetting or just flat out choosing to spend it with another female and not tell you. And of course, it’s with Elain.

Your lungs shake as you take your next breath, reality coming back into focus as you realize that Rhys is still in front of you, worry etched across his face as he too realizes what has happened. You knock back the rest of your drink, and your hands shake as you pick up the glasses to take care of them and to put the bottles away. In an effort to try to get Rhys to go away, to be alone, you put on a fake smile, looking at him.

“Oh, well, I guess I shouldn’t have expected that we’d be going out tonight without checking in with him to see if he was free. That’s my mistake, but thank you for telling me, Rhys. I’ll clean up here and I’ll get going,” you try, but he just shakes his head.

“Nonsense. Leave it, I’ll take care of it later. Let me take you home.”

“Honestly, Rhys, I’m ok. It’s just a misunderstanding on my part. And my home isn’t far from here at all, and the night is nice. You don’t need to winnow me,” you insisted, already done with rinsing out the glasses and putting them away. But your voice is shaking ever so slightly, sick to your stomach, and you know that Rhys notices.

He grimaces, debating with himself on what to do.

“If you’re sure,” he asks, raising an eyebrow, and you nod. “I’ll talk to him when he gets back.”

“No! No, you don’t have to do that. Seriously, Rhys, it’s not a big deal,” you beg, and finally, he relents.

He nods once before stuffing his hands back into his pockets.

“You’ll let me know if you change your mind, right,” he asks.

“Of course,” you promise, and he pops back out of the house, leaving you to truly process the situation.

He took Elain out instead. He left you, that same voice whispers, louder this time. Tears sting your eyes, and a half-sob rips out of your lungs, a hand flying up to your mouth to prevent any more from leaving. But you’re fruitless in your efforts to contain your emotions as tears start spilling over, splattering onto the table.

You leave the townhouse in a flurry, harshly wiping at the tears. The house goes dark behind you and the lock snicks shut, leaving you in the night’s chill. Then all at once, your face crumbles as your emotions make themselves known. You try to reason with yourself that there’s no reason to be upset because it was true when you told Rhys that you never did confirm with Azriel if he didn’t already have plans, you just assumed.

But you never have to check in, he has always been there.

“Fuck,” you whisper, walking down the cobbled road back to your townhouse, furiously wiping away the stray tears.

The walk back is quiet for the most part, and you’re thankful that you don’t run into anyone. You would never let yourself live it down if someone saw you in the state that you’re in. You almost make it back, but as you look up, your heart drops and your veins fill with ice as you recognize two figures walking your way. They are so enraptured with each other that they haven’t noticed you yet, so you quickly move over to the edge of the road, hopefully giving yourself enough space that they don’t see you.

You continue walking, arms crossed, and hair falling around you to shield your face, and you’ve just passed them when you spare a glance, making eye contact with him.

Fuck. You walk faster, eyes trained on the ground.

“Y/N?” he calls out, but you keep walking, quickening your pace.

“Y/N! Hey, wait,” he shouts, and this time catches up with you.

A calloused hand closes itself around your arm, effectively stopping you. You whip your head around to face him, and he looks at you in confusion. His form towers over you, and you’re so close you can smell the cologne wafting off of him. You watch as his face crumbles while he looks you over, and it almost seems like he’s panicking.

“Please, just allow me a moment to explain,” he begs, but you shake your head, eyes screwing shut to prevent him seeing the frustrated tears.

“It’s fine, Az, really. I just wish you would have told me instead of having Rhys be the one to tell me where you were,” you whisper, your eyes now trained on his chest, still avoiding his eyes.

If there’s one thing you hate, it’s confrontation. Even if all you want is for someone to feel what you’re feeling, and to confront them about what they’ve done, you can never bring yourself to do it, to hurt them like they had hurt you. So right now, you just want him to let you go so you can let yourself fall apart and piece yourself back together in the comfort of your home.

He is helpless as he sees you put up your walls, trying to keep your emotions in check by shutting them off entirely. It’s something that he’s never been on the receiving end of, and it crushes him to know that he’s who caused this.

A cold whisper ghosts over your wrist, and you look down to find a shadow caressing you anxiously, but it only makes you even more upset, the corners of your lips forcefully tugging down and eyes burning. Blood thunders in your ears, and you can feel your hands shaking, and no doubt Azriel can feel it too, which just makes you panic harder.

“Please, let me go I just want to go home.”

“Y/N,”

“No, Az. Just—”

“Azriel? Is everything ok?” A soft, ethereal voice breaks the moment, your eyes snapping over to the culprit.

You’re horrified as she walks over, the object of your ire making herself known. She looks absolutely breath taking dressed up, and you can’t help but understand for a moment why he would choose her over yourself. She’s absolutely perfect, and you’re… not.

She stops just behind him, placing a delicate pale hand on his back, looking up at him with worried eyes. His gaze snaps from you to her, and it makes you sick as you watch his face soften for her. You take the moment of weakness to rip your wrist away, giving yourself a step to breathe.

Azriel looks between the two of you, confliction painting his face as he tries to decide what to do, but you don’t give him the chance.

“I used to believe that you wouldn’t go as far as this, but I can’t say I’m surprised.”

He reels back like he was physically slapped, looking back at you in astonishment.

“What is that supposed to mean,” he begs, his eyes wide as his grip grows tighter around your wrist, but if you say what you want to say, you’re going to irreparably damage your relationship with him. Despite how you feel, that’s the last thing that you want.

You sigh, closing your eyes and shaking your head, just wanting the conversation to end. “It doesn’t matter. Enjoy your night, Azriel.”

You spin around and high tail it away from him. Although you just want to be left alone, it still makes your heart break even more when he doesn’t try to come after you.

The guilt eats at you again knowing that you ruined his and Elain’s night, but that selfish part of you is glad that you did and made him feel like shit.

Thankfully, you make it back home before you lose it, sobs racking your body as it all comes out. The pain of being pushed aside for someone else yet again comes to a head from tonight’s events. In a fury, you rip off the dress and heels, slinging them somewhere to be found later. You all but drop your jewelry onto the vanity, letting it clatter against the dark wood top. Tears still pour out of your eyes as you rifle through your liquor cabinet, pushing to the back to grab a bottle of dark and strong whiskey, but you slam the door shut as the thought of whiskey being Azriel’s favorite pushes itself to the forefront of your mind.

So instead, you crawl into bed for the night, staining your white sheets with your black-tinted tears.

Heavy thudding at your door drags you from sleep, making you groan as you have to peel open your eyes. The sun is blocked out by the thick curtains, confusing you even further as you try to figure out what time it could be. A headache makes itself known, pulsing behind your eyes causing you to groan as you sit up. The thudding continues, and you can’t help but snap.

“Give me a Mother-damned second! Fuck!” You slip from the sheets, stumbling across the room to get to your dresser. You pull a pair of pants and a t-shirt from a drawer, throwing on them on as you make your way to the door. You pray it’s not Azriel, but it’s more than likely it is. He’s the last one you want to see right now. Hopefully, he’s smart enough to stay away for a little while so you can cool off, allowing the whole situation to blow over.

You yank the door open, squinting at the bright sunlight, but they snap awake when you see Mor and Cassian in front of you instead, the latter standing against the door frame with his arms crossed.

“Uh…” You’re at a loss for words, guilty for the way that you had screamed at them.

“Get ready, we’re going to lunch, and you’re going to tell us why Azriel came home like his fucking puppy died,” Mor says, inviting herself in and grabbing you to lead you to your room. You look back at Cassian, eyes begging for help, but he just shrugs. Bastard.

The blonde immediately starts riffling through your wardrobe, picking through dresses and outfits, but you’re not sure what she has in mind. You allow yourself to flop back onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling. Cassian’s footsteps announce his entrance as he takes a seat on your love seat.

“What’s this?”

You pick your head up to see Mor holding your dress that you left in a ball on the floor. Your face flickers for a moment before you reign it back it, allowing the emotionless mask to take place.

“Nothing,” you whisper, letting your head fall back onto the bed.

It’s silent for a moment as Mor and Cassian look between themselves then back to you. It’s obvious something happened between you two last night, and the story won’t come easy from either of you.

The bed dips as both of your friends sit on the edge, one on either side as the flop down next to you. They remain quiet, but the tension and everything that you’ve been feeling makes your chin tremble, and you bite your lip to try and conceal it. But the tears sting at your eyes anyways, making the ceiling go blurry.

You sit up, digging your elbows into your knees, heaving a great sob. A small hand rests itself on your back, rubbing in circles as you allow yourself to finally fall apart.

“He fucking stood me up,” you choke out. “We always go out when he comes back from the camps. I got dressed up and everything, waited at the townhouse for a half hour just for Rhys to show up and tell me he wasn’t coming. Then I ran into him with Elain on the street on my walk home.”

They’re silent as they let you recount what happened last night, Mor’s face twisting as she watches one of her closest friends fall apart in front of her.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Cassian whispers, but you just shake your head.

“It’s fine—”

“No, it’s not fucking fine. He’s either blind or just outright stupid to not see what he’s doing to you.” Cassian’s face is set in a scowl as he thinks about his friend’s behavior after Elain came into the picture.

He knows that his brother has a history of fawning over unavailable women, but for him to entertain one who already has a mate, one that lives with them and wants to engage with her nonetheless, makes him question if Azriel is really that ignorant to the entire situation. It’s not exactly a secret that you harbor feelings for the shadowsinger, but he has been oblivious to the way that you look at him, and Cassian can only imagine how you are with him when no one else is watching.

Mor’s heart breaks while she is helpless watching your face crumble and tears drip off your chin. There’s been a lot that has brought you down, but nothing like this. You keep a strong face around your friends, always trying to be a happy and fun person to be around, letting yourself be the shoulder to lean on when they need it.

Although Mor was the first obstacle between you and Azriel, she was always a good friend to you since you first joined the Inner Circle decades ago. Her warm and confident nature brought you out of your shell when she introduced you to everyone on that fateful night at Rita’s, which in turn brought you to Azriel.

You let your feelings ruin it all, the voice whispers, if you had just kept your feelings in check then you wouldn’t be in this position.

Then, with a deep breath, the mask comes back.

You wipe your face of the tear tracks, sniffling to try and clear your sinuses before looking at Mor and Cassian with a watery smile.

“So, what were you guys saying about lunch?”

A look passes between your friends before looking back at you.

“Well, we thought today would be a good day to try that new place on the Sidra for lunch,” Cassian answers, a slight smile on his face.

“I would love to. Will you two help me pick something to wear?”

“What else would we be here for, angel,” Mor giggles, standing up and taking you with her.

I’m so lucky to have them as friends.

#azriel x reader #azriel #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #angst #azriel angst #mxigo.acotar #mxigo.azriel #mxigo.soulsick #mxigo.masterlist.soulsick #mxigo.masterlist #mxigo.masterlist.acotar

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bartxnhood · 1 year

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teardrops on my guitar | l.h

luke hemmings x songwriter!fem!reader

summary: your feelings for your friend go unnoticed, but one night you finally told the world how you felt through your music.

warnings: unrequited love :’(, luke is one oblivious mf !, crying, angst.

a/n: 5sos stans and luke people this one is for you !!! everyone say thank you to the slaysos gc for this beautiful idea. AND YES THIS IS INSPIRED BY TAYLORS SONG. i hope i executed it to your desires. enjoy all my loves !! lyrics will be italicized. feedback is appreciated.

a/n pt2 ALSO this is in no way to hate on sierra, i just couldn’t think of anyone else SO PLS DONT THINK I HATE HER I LOVE HER SM.

read part two here !!

requests open

not proofread

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(this feels kinda rushed but i still hope u guys like it.)

you and luke had been close since grade school, always attached at the hip. wherever he went, you were right there with him. so, when he introduced you to the members of his new band they were forming you made it your mission to be friends with all of them.

whoever luke is friends with, you had to be friends with. it was your law of nature. and by luck, you had to find out you were one hell of a songwriter so of course luke kept you close even as the band took off. often you’d help them with songs. and you grew even closer with the boys, especially calum, creating a very close bond with the boy. only to realize, you had some feelings growing up for your blond best friend.

you don’t know what made you realize that you were indeed falling in love with luke hemmings. maybe it was when he’d lean in too closely and your breath would hitch, taking in all of his beauty, or, it was all of the times he made you laugh without effort.

whatever it was, you were slowly falling for him.

and as you did, 5 seconds of summer took off and were now on tour. it was unreal to you how they gained success but you couldn’t be more proud of the people they were becoming.

while they were out chasing their dreams, you decided to dip your toes into the industry and started to write the songs for your debut album. most of the songs were ways to express your feelings, and once released you did pretty well. a couple of your songs even charged for a few weeks.

time was flying by, you were growing to success following behind your friends.

soon, it was time for their tour and they approached you with the idea that you could open for them. when you first heard of the idea, you declined it. but, calum eventually talked some sense into you

your friendship with calum was a bit unexpected, luke said you’d probably get along with ashton the best, but he was wrong. calum became your right-hand man (behind luke of course). so, after you declined the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity calum talked to you.

“you should reconsider” he started, and you just shook your head. “calum” “no, listen to me” he pointed at you, “you’re good at what you do, you’re talented so please just consider opening for us. they guys want you on your, i want you on tour, y/n.” you stood with your hands on your hips. “okay. fine, i’ll do it. but just for you.” calum grinned.

tour started. it was magical, you were going to places you had never imagined you’d be. it was wonderful, and you continued to thank calum for talking to you and reconsidering. you were able to spend months with your best friends and the boy you were head over heels with.

during soundcheck, the boys would always come to mess around while you sang, oftentimes acting out your songs or ashton would casually drum.

it was memories you’d never forget, from interviews across the world to sleeping in hotels you’d sworn you wouldn’t stay in again. but most importantly, it was fun. you and luke had been closer than ever, thick as thieves. and then, it was coming to an end.

the last stop of the tour, you prepared for your set. your outfit was extravagant compared to previous stops, you wanted to change it up and make it more special. you were about to go on, but luke stopped you. “y/n?” you turned around, and he smiled “you look beautiful. knock ‘em dead, gorgeous.” you felt your cheeks warm up, “thanks, lu. i’ll see you after”

after the show, you met with him and he grabbed you into his arms so quickly. “you did amazing! that was the best show i’ve ever seen!” he spun you around, and you laughed. “thank you so much! that was amazing. that crowd is wonderful. you guys will have an amazing show.”

then a week away become a month, a month into a few, and eventually it had been well over a year since all of you actually had time to be together.

it was hard, because not only did you miss you friends but you missed your best friend, the one you loved most.

later, all of you found yourselves living in los angeles and so naturally you all became close again. hanging out every other weekend, and going back to your regular antics. everything was going well for 5 seconds of summer and yourself. you had made a name for yourself in the industry, especially after opening for their tour. you always thanked calum for talking some sense into your thick skull.

but, the more you were around luke, the harder it was to hide your feelings for him.

“y/n?” you jumped, eyes wandering up, and found luke who was standing over you. “guys want coffee, wanna go with me?” you closed your journal, nodding “sure” you smiled.

so, you sat in the car with him in the usual traffic of los angeles, on your phone with light music playing from the radio. “i’ve missed you” he said, you looked up, raising your eyebrow “you saw me last week, lu” “no, like in all the time we were away. i missed you, a lot. it wasn’t the same without you” you smiled, “i missed you too. but hey, we’re together now and i don’t plan on leaving anytime soon”

the car fell silent after, you returned to your phone and luke focused his attention back on the road for some time. “how’s writing going?” he asked, you turned off your phone and let it rest in your lap. “good, i have about half of my songs written. just kinda going through a phase, no inspiration, yknow?” he hummed, “oh, yeah i do” he laughed, looking at you. you smiled back.

there it was, that beautiful smile.

“you’ll get there, it’ll come one day and you’ll be writing for hours. i know how you are” you laughed, luke raised an eyebrow. “you’d know, i learned from the best” luke laughed, shaking his head. “you are something, y/n/n” he teased, “whatever, you love it” you retorted.

“oh, i do love it, and you” luke replied.

for the rest of the day, it was all you could think about. it was such a small thing but you just couldn’t help but get butterflies whenever you thought about it. but then you noticed all the times he was slowly coming around more and how close he would be towards you.

at first, it was subtle. maybe his state would linger just a bit too long, or he’d sit unusually close to you when there was the whole rest of the couch open. then, he began to see you on days you weren’t working together or hanging out with your typical friend group.

then, he’d start to hold your lower back if the two of you were in a public place. you had a little too much to drink that night? he was the first to take you home and stayed with you until you were okay on your own. luke was always glued to your hip, always holding your hand while rubbing his thumb over your knuckles, or his hand resting on your back. it was such a 180 from his usual behavior

everyone around you was talking about how good of a couple you two would be. saying, ‘oh, my god, you guys are like perfect for each other!’

could he possibly like you back?

youngblood was charting number one, so what does one do when one reaches such an achievement? party. ashton decided to hold a party at his place and everyone he knew was invited, including you. luke was your ‘date’ so, he was by your side most of the night like any other get-together. but this night changed things, for the worse.

ashton approached you, luke, and calum with someone following him. “guys!” the man yelled over the loud music. “this is sierra, a new friend of mine. wanted to introduce her” calum shook her hand, saying hello, then she got to you.

she shook your hand smiling, “hi! i’m such a fan, your music is amazing. you’re also so pretty in person!” you smiled, returning her kindness. “thank you so much!” but, when she got to luke you saw his eyes light up.

sierra was a nice girl, very welcoming and sincere. plus, she was probably the prettiest woman you had ever seen. so, who wouldn’t want to know her better?

since that night, luke and sierra hit it off. she was at every gathering with the boys, eventually taking your place in luke’s heart. at first, it didn’t bother you. luke would still hang out with you on his own, he’d still check on you if you got too drunk. but it all started to disappear. luke got distant. but maybe it was you who was pushing him away, knowing you were no match for sierra.

then, it happened.

luke announced that he and sierra had made it official, they were dating now. the guys cheered and all congratulated him, you just stood there in silence. “y/n?” you blinked, coming back to reality. you flashed a smile, “congrats luke!” the blond grinned and hugged you but you didn’t return it.

it was only a matter of time before it just got worse. anytime you’d hang out with them luke was always bringing up sierra. “oh sierra this!” or “oh sierra does that too!” in the beginning, it didn’t bother you, you tried to suppress those feelings because he was now with someone else but it hurt. you couldn’t lie about that.

you wanted him to say that about you, you wanted luke to tell everyone how proud he was that you were his. you just wanted him to see you.

one day, luke asked if he could hang out with you just like the old days. you said yes, of course. so, the two of you sat on the sofa for hours talking about anything and everything.

“i’m proud of you, lu” he shook his head, “you should be proud of yourself too, you help us write it” you shrugged. “just happy to be apart of something as wonderful as that” you smiled.

“you seem happy” luke nodded, “happiest i’ve ever been, y/n/n” you were happy to hear that, his happiness was everything you wanted for him. “sierra..she’s just so amazing, y’know? like i finally got it right. i’m so in love with her.”

oh.

gathering at parties was even worse, he was always holding onto her like she was his most prized possession. so, you found yourself distancing yourself from the group.

calum was the first to notice this, and it worried his heart. you were his closest friend, what was going on in your mind to cause your sudden drift?

you huffed, throwing your pencil down and stood up from your seat, and headed to the door. the constant knocking was getting on your nerves. when you opened the door you saw calum. “cal? what are you doing here?” you asked. “we need to talk”

calum sat across from you on the sofa, his heart heavy with guilt. he said, “where have you been?” you shrugged, “well, calum, i have an album i need to finish so i’m sorry if i’ve been busy trying to wri-“ he cut you off, “no, it isn’t that. because if it was, you would want our help we always wrote as a team” he knew you were lying, calum knew you too well. maybe even better than luke knew you.

you knew it wouldn’t do any good to lie to him, you hesitated, picking at your fingernails. “it’s just..” you didn’t know how to word it properly and you didn’t want to sound crazy. “i love luke..” you finally said, calum laughed “we all love luke.” “no, calum i’m in love with luke” calum froze, his eyes going wide even though he probably knew it himself. “oh..” he whispered. it was all connecting now.

“so, i’m sorry if i’m a little distant now it just really fucking hurts to see someone i love with my entire heart with someone else, and yes i know i should’ve said something. but id rather have him in my life as a friend instead of losing him and never hearing from him.” you were getting a bit emotional now, so calum came closer and hugged you. “it’s okay” he said, rubbing your back. calum wasn’t the best at comforting people but he cared about you and he had hoped it was enough.

“it’ll be okay, just don’t shut me out, okay?” he pulled away to look at you. “you’re strong and you’ll figure this out, and i’ll be by your side for all of it” you nodded, wiping your eyes. “thank you, calum.” you smiled, he nodded. “of course”

after he leaves you sat there for a while, you were left with your emotions. you weren’t sure how long you were there just staring at the wall. you decided that the only way you could deal with your feelings was to write a song to help the feelings go away.

days passed, you went back and forth removing and adding lyrics to the song and eventually took out luke’s name, and inserted a mysterious ’drew’. you kept your songwriting journal close, especially when you were around calum. no one needed to see it, it was for your eyes only. it was just for you to cope with the pain.

eventually, you had finished the song but if you were going to add it to your album, you didn’t know. maybe it’s too personal, or maybe it just wasn’t good enough to be released. it was just for you.

you sat across from calum, tapping your finger against the leather couch of the recording studio and staring down at the book in your lap. “what’s on your mind?” calum proposed, you hummed looking up at him. “i finished a song, i think i’m gonna go to that open mic night and perform it. i haven’t been on stage in a while” you suggested. calum agreed, “i think that’ll be nice. i’ll be there” he grinned, which earned a laugh from you.

you entered the building with your guitar and looked around before finally spotting calum, he grinned walking to you and wrapping his arms around you. “you look great” you chuckled, “thanks, cal. and thank you for showin up” he nodded. “anything for you, i’m excited to see you perform again. it’s been a while” you hummed, “yeah, it has” you agreed, calum patted your back. “break a leg!”

you laughed, walking past him, and headed up the few steps to the small stage, opening the case and getting your guitar out.

“hi everyone” you smiled, sitting against the stool and looking at the small crowd in front of the stage and you saw calum smiling. “so, most of you guys know me, if not i’m y/n. i’ve been writing and performing music for some time now.” you lightly strummed some cords. “some of you may know i have an album coming out soon, but tonight i thought i’d share an unreleased song that i’ve just finished.” you smiled, meeting eyes of a couple of people. “so, yeah. i hope y’all enjoy”

drew looks at me i fake a smile, so he won't see that I want and I'm needing

everything that we should be.

i'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about and she's got everything that I have to live without

drew talks to me i laugh 'cause it's just so funny that i can't even see anyone when he's with me

he says he’s so in love, he’s finally got it right

i wonder if he knows he’s all i think about at night.

you take a breath, about to enter the chorus and then you spot him entering the room, with her. luke spots you, throwing a smile your way but you looked back at calum and continued singing even though you began to get choked up.

he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

the only thing that keeps me wishin' on a wishing star

he's the song in the car i keep singing, don't know why i do.

drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?

and there he goes, so perfectly

the kind of flawless I wish I could be

she'd better hold him tight, give him all her love

look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause

your eyes find luke in the crowd again, his arm wrapped around sierras shoulder, who, was also enjoying your performance.

(pretend y/n sang the whole song lol i didn’t feel like writing it all sorry)

so, I'll drive home alone as I turn off the light

i'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight

'cause he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar the only one who's got enough of me to break my heart

he's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do he's the time taken up, but there's never enough

and he's all that I need to fall into

drew looks at me I fake a smile, so he won't see

everyone can tell what you’re singing about is coming from the heart and they’re giving you sympathetic looks. after you finish you quickly excuse yourself outside to take a breather “thank y’all” you smiled, standing up from the stool and leaving the stage as the crowed continued to applaud for you.

luke, for the first time in a while, notices something is wrong so he follows you out. not before cal intercepts, he could see that calum was kinda frustrated. luke asks “what’s going on? is y/n okay? she’s never done that” calum nods. luke sighed and asks “we’ll tell me! what happened?” calum says “think about the song she just sang and then ask her yourself.”

you were behind the building, pacing back and forth trying to stop the overflow of tears pouring from your eyes. “y/n?” you stopped in your tracks hearing the voice, you turned around and met with luke.

upon seeing your disheveled face, his eyes softened. luke asked, “are you alright?” you sighed, chewing on your lip. should you answer him honestly? or continue to lie, which you had gotten pretty damn good at for some time now.

“not really.” you answered. luke took a few steps closer to you and asks, “is that song about someone?” you nodded, but luke still couldn’t figure out why you never told him. he was your best friend since the two of you were just little kids. “why haven’t you told me? who is drew?”

you take a deep breath contemplating telling him, this would be the moment that changed everything. luke sees the hesitation and touches your arm “you can tell me anything you know that, y/n/n” he looks so earnest so you answer “it is about someone and i couldnt tell you because, well, it’s about you.”

luke falls silent, a wave of emotions coursing through his body. he starts to speak a couple times but stops before he can get an actual word out. “i wish you would’ve told me sooner.” luke had always been in love with you way before sierra came into the picture, maybe he just didn’t know how to show it properly. plus, he thought for sure you just saw him as a friend.

at this point, you were crying. tears falling rapidly as he was talking. he says,“do you know how many songs i’ve written about you? hell, you’ve even helped me write some of them.” he took a few steps closer towards you. do you remember when we wrote meet you there? i thought for sure you’d see right through it and know the truth. but you didn’t, and now..now i’m with sierra..” now he was beginning to tear up. “and i—i don’t know. i just wish i’d known sooner”

“luke..i..” you wiped your eyes, it was so hard for you to hear that when you had spent all your life with him only to lose him in the end. “i’m sorry.”

luke shook his head, “no, i’m sorry.”

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msanonymous · 9 months

Text

“How do you become a poet?”

Always looking/ Hardly speaking/ Defending the moon/ Disappearing from the room/ As if you were never even there/ Drinking more caffeine than breathing air/ Instead of falling in love with smiles, looking at them & just wondering why they don't reach it to that person's eyes?/ Instead of getting lost in the eyes, reading the sadness in them & wondering why they cried themselves to sleep at nights?/ Unsaid words, lots of them, so many that your mind gets fully clogged up with them, & at nights they threaten to spill out from your eyes as teardrops/ Unsent letters, loads of them, too many hidden well in your secret drawers, because of the fear of one accidentally landing in someone's letter box/ “Where is your home?”/ I don't know/ Strangers to friends. Within years. Friends to strangers again. Within a heartbeat/ I think I've seen this film before & I didn't like the ending/ Too many films of memories, playing in your head all together at the same time/ Too many stories of your life, having the similar last page, with the same last line/ “You are not enough!”/ Am I really not made for love?/ Lying to the whole world. “I'm fine”/ Lying to your therapist. “I'm fine, other people have it so much worse than me”/ Lying to your parents. “I'm fine.” “Then why are you crying?” “I'm not, I'm fine”/ Lying to yourself. ‘I'm fine.’ ‘No, you're not. You know you're not.’ ‘I know! But does it matter? No. It doesn't. There are hearts more hurt than ours.’ ‘But then why are you crying?’/ Daydreams & what-ifs/ Always finding yourself at the edge of the cliffs/ Envying & smiling sadly at the people who are poetry/ “I read your poem. It's beautiful!” What about me?/ Not touching your diary for months/ Then writing 6 poems in a day, after receiving 6 brand new cuts/ When no matter what pen you choose to write with, fountain, ball point, glitter gel, the ink you'll see after completing the last line will all be blood/ & then there's suddenly blood everywhere. Blood, so much blood. You lift your shaky hands & find both of your palms covered in it. You cover your eyes with them & sob, drowning in your own flood/ & you just keep praying to God for it to be your own. That the cracks of heart from all this blood seeped through, please God, let it be mine. Let it be mine/ The world hurts you enough everyday. But the last thing you want to do is to hurt the world back in your lifetime/ Mastering the art of stitching the wounds. But never for yours/ Other people have it so much worse. You don't deserve any of the cures/ Letting the wounds you think you deserve bleed/ Continuously, trying to not pay the pain any heed/ But still failing/ & weeping & weeping/ Then picking up the quill & dipping it in the aorta of your heart/ & attempting to create art/ But I think I'm not the right person to answer this question/ Because I am too inexperienced & unfamiliar with that profession/ Because as for me, I'm just a girl looking out of her window, waiting for someone to come & look at her/ & just not look away after/ I'm not a poet, how can I never be?/ But I do think/ That poets are not something that people become/ It's a mask. That people buy one day, at the price of heartbreaks & shattered hopes, to put on & hide the ugly & weak personas of them/ It's something people have to do, you know?/ Because the world can barely tolerate the poets. How many more wounds do you think you can sustain? & how many rocks do you think the world will throw?/ When you'll step out of your room/ As you?

~ms.anonymous

#Sep 11 #scattered pages of my diary

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thatsthewrongwallcraig · 10 months

Text

From Helvete With Love II

Summary: It's the morning after and Kappa does not intend on stopping to make you feel valued and worshipped like you should!

Pairing: Euronymous x fem!Reader x Kappa

Word Content: ~1.7k

Content Warnings: Flirty Filth 18+!, Fingering, Emotional And Physical Cheating, Period Blood, Cum Eating, Kappa Having A Supportive But Very Dirty Mouth, Clear Implications Towards Domestic Violence, Euro Being An Overall Terrible BF, Kappa Home-Wrecking His Way Into Readers Heart <3

Find Part I here!

A/N: FHWL Kappa was made for Janis Joplin lyrics, istg 😩🤧

Tagging the horny horde:

@crypticsewerslut @quicksilversg1rl @cc-luvr @icarus-star @milaeth @roryculkinsgf @spookyorchid @arch1viste @whoareyoi @angelsanarchy @b4sementgrl @blueberrypancakesworld @rocketqueen-world @r0ttenmess

Honey, ain't nobody ever gonna love you

The way I try to do

Who'll take all your pain

And your heartache too?

And if you need me you know that I'll always be around

If you ever want me

- Cry Baby By Janis Joplin

You didn't know what eventually led you to slowly open up your quite weary eyes, if it was the muffled sound of heavy teardrops thudding against the window or the uncomfortably heavy feeling that was spreading all throughout your body.

The sound of rain…it comforted you for a moment before fresh memories of last night flooded your already shaken mind.

A heavy pang of guilt shot right through your stomach as your eyes regained their focus and you looked right at what or much rather who you did the night before.

"G'morning, sunshine." Kappa whispered to you in a raspy, sleepy tone, a lopsided smile on his plush lips as he turned his form towards you.

"Hey…" It left your dry mouth in a timid mumble whilst your eyes immediately searched for his, curiously studying the clearly smudged residues of what once was a thin streak of black eyeliner adorning his lower lashline.

The smear of dark around his drowsy eyes looked even better this way, giving a slightly raunchy, mysterious even hue to his appearance.

"Are you okay, sugar? Was a bit worried about you last night…" He hummed back at you, subtly scooting closer to you before gently tugging an astray strand of hair from your face.

His gaze roamed over the features of your face, his eyes sparkling and gentle, unlike Øystein's cold stare that bore right through you on so many occasions.

"Yeah….I guess. 'M a bit really anxious about what went down…how did it even happen?" You squirmed a little underneath the blanket realizing that Euronymous was right behind you, his back against yours whilst still snoring away in deep slumber.

"No need to feel anxious about anything, sunshine, really. You did nothing wrong and I assume that it was nothing but the combination of vodka and weed that had us acting out. It's okay, I promise.", Kappa smiled at you, a loose strand of his curly, black hair falling into his face as he let out a low chuckle, "No, you were really great last night and I meant what I said."

"Huh?" You curved your brows at him, trying to piece together wayward fragments of last night's memories in your mind.

"When I said that Øystein lucked out with you because you're smart and funny and very very pretty. I meant it." Kappa answered in a low voice, leaning his head in towards yours and you felt the heat creeping up into your cheeks.

You couldn't really fathom how you barely knew him, blew him in a substance-induced frenzy and now looked at him in a way like he had been next to you for forever already. The calm expression on his face eased the anxious throbbing in your stomach bit by bit and, perhaps, for a little too long you just stared at his smiling lips. They reminded you about how his thumb had caressed your bottom lip, smearing droplets of his cum onto it for you to lap it up and that you had done, eagerly. Such a weirdly intimate moment…tasting him like that but never even so much as kissed his lips or smelled his skin. Maybe you just should, maybe just lean in a little more and press your lips to his, stealing a sneaky little kiss from him while you could.

"Now what got you all glossy-eyed, sugar?" Kappa snickered, subconsciously grazing his teeth over his bottom lip and coating it in a shiny layer of his saliva.

"Shut up, hippe." You reciprocated.

Giving in to the internal pull towards him, you leaned in and placed a shy kiss onto his lips, desperately trying to savor as much of him as you possibly could, wanting to imprint every little tidbit about him into your brain.

The kiss was awkwardly silent as both of you tried to muffle every telltale noise of mouths kissing and lips lapping at each other. However, the burning need for it was mutual. If he wouldn't have been stuck in a creaky loft bed with his brother in his dusty record store, Kappa would've practically swept you away, showering you in hugs and kisses the way he thought you deserved, to be praised and loved and your shine to be appreciated like it should but instead Øystein's darkness swallowed it whole.

Kappa detested every second of his brother's presence draining you of your light and your love he wasn't deserving of, not one last bit of it, and if he could make it any more bearable by kissing you in secrecy then he would.

As his taste seeped into your mouth and all over your tongue, you felt a hot jolt of desire shooting straight down between your legs, a treacherous wave of slick pooling between your thighs.

"Fuck, we shouldn't…" You hissed into his lips under your breath, stricken with a toxic concoction of guilt and bubbling arousal.

"I don't care…wanna feel you, please." Kappa whispered in a breathless plea.

At that you wanted to whine and groan into his skin but you couldn't risk the volume of it so you forced yourself to choke it all far back down your throat.

"Then touch me…" You allowed him to, blocking out the lump of guilt sitting right in your chest and instead giving in to your boyfriend's brother.

"'M gonna make you feel good like you deserve to, sunshine." Kappa mumbled into the loose, always on-edge kiss, ready to break away from you at any second if necessary as one of his broad hands reached out to sneak his slender fingers right amidst your thighs.

It took everything out of you not to moan or rut your hips against his hand as you felt his index and middle finger flicking softly over your already soaked and pulsing clit.

"That good right there, sugar?" He asked in a sore, needy tone and you simply nodded in return.

"Good. Just focus on me, yeah? 'M gonna make sure that you don't have to worry about a thing. I gotchu." Both of his fingers toyed with your clit in gentle, carefully drawn strokes, nudging it where it made you feel like burning up from the inside.

Though, there was something else happening inside your body, a faint, dull pang of slowly spreading pain in your lower abdomen alarming you.

"Hold on.." You asked of Kappa and he instantly withdrew his hand from you.

"Did I hurt you?" His eyes were wide in worry.

"No, don't worry…I just…" You broke from the loose connection of your lips and looked down onto his hand, fingertips covered in a pinkish mixture of your arousal and fresh blood.

"Oh…" Kappa smiled softly.

"Oh? You're not disgusted?" You cooked your eyebrows at him.

"Why should I?" He looked back at you equally confused.

"Well, Øystein thinks it's disgusting, so…" You shrugged your shoulders a little.

"Fucking weakling…" Kappa rolled his eyes before his fingers weaseled right back to your throbbing cunt.

"Y'know what helps with period cramps, sugar? An orgasm." You felt your cheeks flushing with read at his words and you sucked your bottom lip between your teeth, holding back every wanton moan and sigh inside your lungs.

You couldn't really grasp what he did to your body but you clearly enjoyed every second of it. Your eyes fluttered shut in pleasure that ran through your body like a wildfire.

"Be a good girl for me and stay quiet, yeah…" Kappa cooed in a saccharine-sweet voice, the words oozing out of his mouth like thick honey.

You nodded briefly, covering your trembling lips with your own hand as you felt the coil inside snapping heavily. You came with an earth shattering force rippling through every nerve ending but you couldn't yield. Your orgasm crushed through you and you practically gushed on Kappa’s fingers but you remained silent and completely rigid, only the contractions of your cunt indicating that he satisfied you.

"Good god, sugar…" Kappa whispered in adoration as he raised his thoroughly covered fingers to his lips and sucked them clean in one go, "See? Not disgusting at all…taste to good."

You opened your eyes to watch him sucking at his fingers, lapping everything off while staring right into your bewildered gaze. It wasn’t intimidating to you, no, it was insanely hot.

"Mmmm… my head hurts…." You froze as Øystein's raspy voice groaned from behind with him turning around to unceremoniously throw his arm over your waist and his face pressing in between your shoulders.

He seemed to doze off again right away but for a good minute Kappa and you just halted in shock. Kappa's wide open eyes gazed down to his brother's hand that was loosely laying on your thigh and he furrowed his brows in worry.

"What's that?" He whispered almost inaudibly.

You followed his eyes and felt your stomach turning as you saw that he was looking at a pale circle of scar tissue, hardly as big as the nail on your pinky.

With the hand that had covered your mouth, you imitated the movement of smoking on a cigarette.

"Did he?" Kappa's eyes flooded with worry.

"He lashes out….sometimes…" You confessed to him reluctantly.

"I'll fucking murder him.." His jaws clenched, teeth grinding together while he tried to keep himself from just reaching over you to simply strangle his brother in his sleep.

#rory culkin #kappa #kappa black mirror #kappa x you #kappa x fem!reader #kappa x reader #kappa smut #euronymous x fem!reader #euronymous #euronymous × you #euronymous x reader #euronymous smut #rory culkin lords of chaos #lords of chaos #from helvete with love

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daenysx · 8 months

Note

Hi!! First of all, I want to tell you that I love your writings! Your portrayal of Aemond is just *chef's kiss*. I would like to request some hurt/comfort with Aemond x reader if possible. Thank you in advance! <3

thank you for your request, angel, i'm so happy that you like my writing!! i hope you like this one too, i picked a plot which is a little too relatable to me, so here we go. ♡

send me your requests for drabbles

pins and needles. pins and needles. pins and needles.

people talk but the words are not clear. they laugh, they have endless conversations about their lives, they share funny memories with each other.

all you can do is sitting at the table and giving them fake smiles.

they are your friends, surely a dinner with them must feel good, right? you have plenty you'd like to share, you want to laugh at their jokes, you want to make them smile. your hands shake, your breathing's uneven, you're sure at some point you'll feel the world spin. you don't want to be here. you don't know how to leave the restaurant. will they talk after you leave? will they say how you can't even form a proper sentence without your voice shaking?

you hold onto your glass, you take a slow sip from it. the liquid tastes weird in your mouth. a friend next to you says something, then turns to you and asks, "right?"

risky question. you didn't even hear the story. you don't know how to answer. fuck. no, that's- no. you grab your phone and stand up. you try to smile but it's fake. "uhm, excuse me, i just have to call someone, i'll be back."

you don't want to come back.

you walk away, thankfully they are a big group, not all of them will notice your absence. the fresh air feels nice as you step outside. you take a few more steps and sit on the sidewalk. you try to take a deep breath, you fail. you look at your phone, fingers shaking as you search aemond's name.

aemond picks up the phone at the first ring. "sweetheart?"

you have to find your voice. "hey."

he knows what happens the moment he hears the little word. "are you okay?"

"can you- can you please come and get me?"

he grabbed the car keys already. "i'm on my way."

you try to stay calm as you wait for him. it's a short distance, all you have to do is waiting for him. he'll be here. he'll be here.

9 minutes 37 seconds, and aemond is here. he rushes when he sees you, you realize the image must be a little terrifying. he kneels in front of you, careful hands on your face. "hey, i'm here. you're with me, pretty girl."

you hold onto him, he holds you the best he can. the angle's weird but he doesn't care. you cry into his neck, you can't breathe. you don't wanna be like this, there's no reason and look at you, crying in your lover's arms. aemond rubs your back, his knees must hurt. he kisses your forehead, just keeps his warm lips on your skin. "i got you. you're safe, hmm? you know i'm here, i'm with you."

you nod, you feel better. you are not alone. he's here, with you. "my friends- they're inside, i just-" you mumble, the words lost in your mouth.

"do you have your things with you? yeah, you have, baby. let me take you home, i'll just call them and tell them you got sick." he kisses your head. "it's okay. everything's okay. i'll make sure everything's fine, let's go back to car."

he helps you to the car, never lets go of your hand. he buckles your seatbelt. you just feel tired, the loud voices and your fake smiles carve a space in your mind. you close your eyes, teardrops fall. it's okay, it's just okay.

aemond takes you home. he keeps his hands on you all the time. a hand on your thigh as he drives and his arm around your waist as he leads you inside. the bedroom is quiet, you walk towards bed and let yourself relax for a minute. you can hear aemond's muffled voice, he's in the kitchen, talks to one of your friends who he knows and probably tells them you're sick but safe with him. you close your eyes, you don't even want to remember how you felt.

he comes next to you, sits on the edge of the bed. "can i hold your hand?" he asks, with a cautious tone. you give him your hand and he squeezes it, helps you remember you're safe. you're with him, you're safe, everything's okay.

"do you want to tell me what happened?" he asks, almost whispers.

you shrug. "i'm not sure i know what happened."

he shakes his head. "baby-" he collects his words. "you know what? we don't have to talk about it. we don't have to talk at all."

"aemond," you say, pull his hand closer to your lips and press a little kiss on the back of it. "thank you for coming. thank you for- for being with me."

he cups your cheek, gathering his thoughts again with a smile. "you don't have to thank me. you call, i come to you, that's our deal."

a teardrop falls. "i just felt like i didn't belong there. they were- they are so confident, so happy with their lives, and i don't even know if i do things right with mine."

he lays on bed silently, pulls you on his body so that you can use him like a pillow. now you can tell everything to him without worrying about having an eye contact. "they're my friends but it's like there's a distance between us. i thought i'd have fun, i didn't, i just felt terrible instead." you continue, sobbing.

aemond forces himself to stay calm. he should stay calm for you, he should help you feel like yourself again. he just rubs your back, the physical contact always works the best.

"i shouldn't doubt myself so much, should i? i'm doing the things i want but none of them seems worthy enough to have a conversation about." you whisper, too lost in your own thoughts and tears.

aemond lifts you suddenly, he sits on bed, and you're on his lap. he takes off your sweater with confident fingers, leaving you with a small tank top, freeing you from the heat that makes your cheeks flush. he pulls your hair from your face, brushes away your tears, and kisses your lips.

the kiss goes on, you find it easy to move your lips against his. the act of taking a deep breath is not so hard now, he shares his breaths with you. you kiss him for what feels like hours, your head not spinning now. your heartbeat turns normal slowly, you hold onto his hair, your shaky fingers become sure of the movement after each second.

he ends the kiss by holding the back of your head gently. foreheads pressed together, you are okay. you are okay, he's here. he kisses you better. he just knows how to kiss you better.

"you're allowed to feel bad even when you're with the people you like, sweetheart. you're allowed to be nervous, to not enjoy conversations around you, to not feel the best all the time." he kisses your forehead after each sentence.

"everything's okay, you didn't do anything wrong." he wants you to make sure you know the obvious fact, "you did good, leaving the place you're uncomfortable in and calling me to get you."

you nod, "thank you for saying these."

he squeezes your hand. "sweet thing." he kisses the back of your hand. "i just want you to feel good."

"i'm good." you say. "i'll be good."

aemond nods, "i was watching that tarantino movie you love so much before you called. would you like to join me? you can tell me everything i don't know about it."

you know he's lying, he wasn't watching your comfort movie before you called. he just wants you to feel better, offering something he knows you won't resist. you nod, give him a smile.

"come on, change your clothes. i'll make us some tea." aemond says, watching you take your jeans off with a longing smile on his lips.

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x you #aemond x reader #modern!aemond #house of the dragon #hotd

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eileenslibrary · 6 months

Text

Cold Cold Heart

Hey the second chapter isn't gonna be posted until next weekend, I had something come up take this to be satiated

song: Cold Cold Heart cover by Norah Jones

Thranduil X GN!Reader (You are referenced to be Legolas's 2nd mom but gender is never specified and can read it however you wish)

Genre: Angst/Fluff

“I’ve tried so hard my dear” you speak grabbing your king’s attention “What?” he asks

“To show that you’re my every dream, yet you’re afraid everything I do is just some evil scheme” you sigh rubbing your temple and leaning against the doorframe of the study “I do not understand?” you stand up straight and walk over to him taking his hands in yours “A memory from your lonesome past keeps us so far apart, why can’t I free your doubtful mind, and melt your cold cold heart” you finish placing one of your hands upon his chest. Thranduil scoffs shrugging you off of him “This is a marriage for convenience for my son to have a second parental figure in his life” he sighs going back to royal duties. You sigh turning around and walking away.

You walk down the enchanted halls an eerie feeling encapsulating your form as you wander to your chambers, you hear Legolas and Tauriel bickering in the hall a little way down, but you pay it no mind until you hear your name “I cannot believe he is treating them like this” Legolas hums “You cannot control who your father loves Legolas” Tauriel reminds “I know but I’m stumped because he showed interest in them before I even met them, what has changed now” he sighs, you step out “Legolas, come here” you say a pained look painting your face, Legolas freezes the young elf hanging his head and walking over to you “Have a walk with me my son” you hum placing a hand onto his shoulder and guiding him to your chambers to talk. “(Name) I didn’t mean-” you shake your head “No it’s alright, you were only looking out for me, but you have to understand I will always be second in his eyes, and I should be in yours too, I will never be as great as your mother,” you say sniffling as tears begin to fall, pulling Legolas into your arms. “Don’t say such absurd things, although you’ll never be blood-related you are still important to me” he huffs sadly holding on to you even tighter. Legolas rubs your back as you hold your head in your hands “Oh Legolas I don’t know how to get out of this” you whimper as your hard breaths shake your shoulders. “A love before my time made his heart sad an’ blue so now my heart is paying now for things, I didn’t do,” you cry “In anger, unkind words are said that make the teardrops start” he hums pulling you closer “Yet why can’t I free his doubtful mind, and melt his cold cold heart” you sob making your breath stutter.

Thranduil walks into the forest to think he hears a soft voice talking, he approaches the sound and sees you sitting as your beloved messenger bird eats feed from your hand “There was a time when I believed that he belonged to me, but now I know his heart is shackled to a memory” you whisper playing with a stray feather “The more I learn to care for him the more we drift apart, oh why can’t I free his doubtful mind and melt his cold cold heart” Thranduil approaches you cautiously, crouching down in front of you, you look up to find those sapphire irises looking at you “Yes my king” you hurriedly say wiping your tears “There is no need to hide your tears” he hums wiping the ones still falling, he sits down lifting your chin to look at him a confused look encompasses your features, he pulls you to his chest making your bird squawk at the sudden unsettlement a breathless chuckle escaping him he pulls you into a kiss making your eyes widen before they flutter to a close. Thranduil apologizes before he leads you to your chambers to spend time with one another, you place a kiss on his cheek before snuggling into his arms even more dozing as he watches over you, a true smile taking over his features the first in a long long time.

#lord of the rings #the hobbit #thranduil x you #thranduil #thranduil x reader #the elvenking

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imaginesfordifferentfandoms · 1 year

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Teardrops On My Guitar

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Prompt - ‘'I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night.’

Notes - Making my way through Taylor Swift’s albums so if you want a fic for any song that I haven’t done yet send me a message!🤎

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For as long as you could remember it had always been you and Peter, other friends came and went throughout the years but you and Peter had always been a constant in each other’s lives. You had gone through everything together, when your family’s business went bankrupt and you had to live with the Parker’s for a few months, when Peter’s parents died and he had chosen you to run away to. Every big moment, every little moment, no matter the memory Peter was almost always in it.

You never thought you’d have to imagine a life without Peter, it always seemed such an impossible thought. You were the best of friends, there were no secrets between either of you, you told each other everything.

Which was great for years, it worked well for the two of you, you knew the other better than you knew yourself. It was nice knowing you always had someone to confide in, no problem too big or small to share.

And yet now you hated the fact that nothing was kept a secret between the two of you, you hated the fact that you meet up with Peter every day before school, hated that it was so easy to forget that the rest of the world existed, right up until you walked through the doors and his gaze immediately sought her out.

Gwen Stacy.

Gwen Stacy who was top of every class, Gwen Stacy who was so stunningly beautiful you just knew you couldn’t ever even begin to compete with her. You didn’t stand a chance, not when you saw the way Peter looked at her, his expression completely softening, the way his lips pulled into an unconscious smile every time she walked into a room, the way he couldn’t walk into one without glancing around for her.

You didn’t stand a chance.

And because there were no secrets between you and Peter you got to hear all about his crush on her when he remembered you existed. Ok, so maybe that wasn’t fair, it wasn’t like Peter shut down on you whenever she was around but he always had an eye on her.

You and Peter always walked home together, usually hanging around in his bedroom since Aunt May was at work so it left the two of you alone. You didn’t know if you loved the alone time or hated it.

You couldn’t even remember when your own crush on Peter had developed, maybe it had always been there, there before you even really knew what a crush was, before you knew anything about relationships or love or any of those things. Maybe it had developed when you had a bad day and Peter was always there with open arms and ready to make a fool of himself if only to see you laugh again. Maybe it was in the way that there really wasn’t any distance between the two of you, whether it be with no secrets or the way you could crawl into the other's bed after sneaking in through the window and the other person didn’t react other than to make room and wrap their arms around the other. Maybe it was all the little things that seemed so insignificant to other people but you treasured so deeply that made you fall for him so easily.

It didn’t really matter when it happened though, only that it did. It happened and it hurt every day. You couldn’t even get a break on the weekends because whenever Peter came around Gwen always seemed to be the first topic on his lips.

And it wasn’t like you could say anything either, you couldn’t just demand he stop talking about her. Not without admitting you had feelings for him anyway and that wasn’t going to happen, not when you knew he didn’t feel anything for you. You would just have to sit and listen to him talk about her for hours at a time because you loved him and you couldn’t lose your friendship.

Still it hurt. It hurt when he asked you what you think he should do, how could he get her to notice him, what date ideas should he think of to ask her out. The worst of it was that you loved him so much you couldn’t even bring yourself to give him bad ideas, whenever he asked for your advice you gave him the best you could, gave answers you wished Peter would do for you, and you watched him use them on her.

You had gotten pretty good at faking a smile now around Peter, at pretending everything was ok until you were alone and you could let the hurt just hurt. It was so easy to picture you and Peter together too, nothing would change except the fact you’d know how his lips felt against yours, how his hand cupping your cheek to bring you closer would feel.

It didn’t matter how much you wanted to cry, not when you had to fake a laugh at his over dramatic love declarations that caused him to grin as he shoved you lightly, it didn’t matter because no matter how many damn stars you wished on nothing would change.

Sometimes you thought Peter knew, how could he not know that he was the reason you stayed up all night thinking about him, how could he not know that the reason for your tears was him, how was he so blind to the way you looked at him? If it were anybody else you’d think they knew but Peter wasn’t cruel, if he knew he wouldn’t be torturing you so much.

If you had thought things between you and Peter were hard when he was just pining after Gwen it was nothing compared to when he finally put all your advice to use and ended up getting together with her.

It was slow at first, you still saw Peter every day, still walked home together after school but over time it turned into less time together. You walked home together but after a few weeks Gwen joined you and you hated how kind she was, it’d be easier to hate her if she wasn’t so nice. Then it turned into you going straight home, not wanting to third wheel on them, not when it meant more time watching Peter look at Gwen like she was his whole world and you had somehow become nothing more than a passing thought, silently pleading for Peter to notice you.

It wasn’t much longer after that the time you and Peter spent together got less and less, no more hanging out after school, no more weekends together, no more sneaking into each other’s houses, no more sharing every thought that popped into your head.

That’s what hurt the most, the thing that left you crying silently to yourself each night. Peter had forgotten all about you and your heart hurt, it hurt so badly that you just wished you could stop feeling anything. It wasn’t even just Peter’s fault though, you wanted to blame him for it all but you were to blame too, you pulled away but Peter hadn’t caught you and pulled you back.

You hoped Gwen knew, you hoped she knew how lucky she was that she was the one that got to fall asleep in Peter’s arms, the safest place you’d ever been. You hope she knew how lucky she was that Peter had picked her to love, you hoped she would love him just as fiercely as he loved her, hoped she knew how lucky she was to be able to fall into those beautiful brown eyes and to know how his lips felt as he kissed her so softly like she was something to be treasured.

You really hoped she knew because you would never know.

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