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chrollohearttags · 1 month

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Requests open? You don't know what you unleashed

It's that time of the month and I've been craving reiner like a mf (side note is it just me or do you crave human touch sm but at the same time the idea of any male rats Ik irl touching me, repulses me)

Anywhooooo if you don't mind the idea of reiner being such a simp for you, showing you sm love and affection stretch marks and all after a rare (inwardly not so rare) day of feeling like shit 🥹

Or reiner throwing you around and slapping you in the face with his dick, I'm easy

(Side side note: I also been having this viral thought of Reiner having a girl And he cheats on her with you constantly, sometimes practically in front of her face, telling you how your better and he will leave her and she can't satisfy him like you can, if you don't like that kind of stuff ignore 🤠)

frennn, omg why are we just alike?! 😭 ovaries be jiggling like a mf, begging to be scrambled but I wouldn’t dream of letting those creatures near me. but ask and you shall receive! 🫶🏾 I literally love allllll of these so much, I have no idea which one to choose. I can’t stop thinking about, him more so than usual slsksks 😫😭 so ykw, we bout to combine all three LMAO! (mainly bc I love the idea of Reiner being a scumbag)

themes + such: infidelity, slight angst, rei is an asshole (not to you! 😭)body worship, pussy eating, reader has stretch marks/slight dysmorphia, body shaming, soft to rough sex, full nelson, daddy’s used, he picks reader up

WHEN SHE’S NOT AROUND

“Rei…wait, we can’t do this..”

“And why not? Who’s going to stop us?”

“No one and that’s the problem..”

the constant back and forth between two lovers, ensued among the fray of dishevelment and lust..lust that had driven you both to the point of no return. Truth be told, you had no good reason to be together. Nothing good would come of this in the long run and yet, here you were…lying in the bed of another woman, with her man’s hands roaming your body. His lips latched onto your nipples and his fingers plunged deep into your aching center. Riding them to bliss as you cried out his name; echoing the walls of her home..it was a disgrace and yet, you couldn’t pull away. You couldn’t let him go..and he felt the same.

“Please..don’t try to pretend like you actually give a shit about her..” His voice seemingly mocking you..it certainly wasn’t his normal demeanor but the one thing you had come to accept about Reiner is that he was not perfect. Not by a long shot…he was certainly not some perfect gentleman that checked all of the boxes. He was handsome, successful, alluring, one hell of a lover but he wasn’t yours!..not even close. That much signified by the silver band on his right ring finger. Married to the girl you despised more than anything. You’d never hated anyone in your entire life but that snooty little blonde bitch was a shoe in for the first spot. Make no mistake, you weren’t afraid of her; more so she was intimidated by you and the thought of fucking her husband unbeknownst gave you a thrill like none other. But your conscious was heavy with thoughts of karma..how things would play out for you guys in the long run..what if he decided that one day he no longer wanted you and by some weird circumstance, decides to make it work with his wife? You’d be out and no one could feel an ounce of pity. You were the adulterer, the harlot, the side chick, mistress..but you were the only one he wanted.

“..because I don’t. Matter of fact, I hope she walks in here right now. I wanna see her face while I’m fucking you..” the deep tone in his voice rattling off into a laugh. Suddenly, he’d tug those thick digits out and shove them between your lips. Allowing you to pacify and taste yourself…watching you become so salacious for him never grew old and it wasn’t something he was ready to let go of. Not now and not ever!..meanwhile, he’d kneel to the floor, caressing your thick thighs in an attempt to quell you. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look today? Hmm?…I feel like you should know that..” that deep southern drawl feeding you those sweet nothings, curling your toes at the sound. He could stay here forever, with you and no one else. Staring into the warmth of those beautiful brown eyes...the truth was, you hadn’t been feeling your best. You worked in the same building as his girl and as one of the lead makeup artists, for the brand that she and many other modeled for, it was difficult seeing women that looked nothing like you garner all of the attention and praise. Not to mention, hearing their snide remarks on the slick about your body type..about how you and others were not a fit for the pieces; literally and figuratively. You were used to it..working in the upper echelon came with discrimination on at least five different levels. But you let it roll off of your back. However, you were having a rather off day. Honestly, the last thing you wanted to do was to be weighed down with the tension of knowing you were sleeping with someone else’s man. That was until you were gifted an anonymous bouquet of flowers..you had no question who the sender was and when he sent you a text message asking to see you, you were glad to accept. Now here you were being spoiled in more ways than one. “You know I love you too, right? You’re my everything..” “Yes, Rei..I love you too..”

Currently, his lips were latching onto your clit, hands firmly planted on your thighs and clawing into them. He needed to taste you..consume your scent and flavor until he was full. That’s the way it was with Reiner..he was a selfish man. Downright gluttonous and he’d have his cake and devour it too! “Good…because I don’t want you to take it personal when I fuck you like a whore tonight.” Smirking up at you and causing you to chew at your lip with a wide smile. Just then, he’d toss your leg across his shoulder and begin the rapid ascent into feasting on your cunt. It wasn’t long before those juices were trickling down his chin and you were trembling. You could’ve jumped from your own flesh at any minute. The way his tongue lapped at your bud, delicately navigated your folds..prodded your entrance..no one treated you better. Hence why his wife would simply have to share. “Oh fuck!…yes, Rei..right there..”

he knew that you were exactly where he wanted you..and there was no way he was letting you go until he got what he desired….suddenly, he’d pull away with his mouth only to quickly substitute your pleasure with his fingers whilst he spoke to you. Feeding you every positive affirmation he could think of…complimenting your beautiful smile down to your legs; rubbing them gently. He didn’t just admire you, he practically worshipped you. Leaving kisses on those stretch marks displayed across your pudgy tummy. He loved all of it and thought that you should do the same. He was adamant in letting you know there was nothing for you to be ashamed of. “You’re so fucking sexy. Trust me..she’s not even half the woman you are. Never could be, baby. The next time she says something, just think about the fact that you have the one thing she doesn’t..” he’d declare, proceeding to spit onto your folds and continue licking. Not once did he break eye contact because he wanted to see all of the expressions that came across your face..he was right. She’d brag and boast about her husband who loved her so much to anyone who’d listen. That was at least in the public eye..however, behind the closed doors of a dressing room, crying into the arms of her best friend, she’d confess that he hadn’t touched her in months. That he seemed distant and cold and she was worried about an affair. Your kind nature couldn’t bear harboring such a secret but the side of you that wanted revenge for watching that bully’s abuse to other girls; bragging about her appearance, wealth and everything else she could flaunt as an adolescent, up into adult hood…you were enjoying this. You wanted the bitch to suffer and quite frankly, see her man getting fucked by the very type of woman she swore she was superior to!

“Lay back f’r me, sweetheart and put those fucking legs up..”

By this point, Reiner’s entire demeanor had seemed to shift. He was still very much hungry for that delicious nectar but he was done with the sweet, charming, innocent demeanor. Quite frankly, it couldn’t come soon enough. You needed him to take what was his! To be dominant, aggressive and pound every single ounce of tension from your body. You were sopping wet with a linear trail of slick, seeping down your slit and he had just the plan to add to the mess. Quickly standing to his feet, he’d take the place of your palms and squeeze the supple flesh of your thighs..he’d already previously undressed so when he came up, that erect cock did along with it as well. He was aching for you..so much so, the only way he’d be able to gain relief was to bury himself inside of you. That’s when you’d feel him lob a trail of spit onto your folds before rubbing that tip against you…you couldn’t handle another moment of being teased so luckily…

“You’re about to get all of this dick, I hope you know that..”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing…take this pussy. Fuck me..”

..he didn’t make you wait long! A moment later, you’d feel that tip split open your folds and enter your warmth. It felt damn near divine being inside of you. He practically trembled; cursing aloud when he was met with the sensation of your walls constricting around him. This was all he wanted, all he needed and he’d be content as long as he could have you. “This pussy’s so fucking tight…goddamn, she never feels this good.” Chuckling to himself because he couldn’t believe just how starkly different his experience was with you and his wife. Oftentimes, he found himself bored or not even remotely aroused. She’d complain that it was too much or that she couldn’t fit it all the way. She didn’t like to do any of the nasty things you preferred and when it came to giving him oral sex, she downright refused. Just recently, he stopped trying altogether and always claimed he was too exhausted for sex. Meanwhile, he was buried balls deep inside of you every chance he got!

“Mmmmph, take it, baby. Keep fucking me, just like that..”

Whimpering as you rubbed your clit..stroking that bud slowly..your gaze was fixated on his, a smile on both of your faces as he nestled every inch into you. His strokes were consistent, deep and a little fast. He couldn’t be vexed to take it slow tonight. He needed to give it to you the way you deserved. “Who’s pussy is this, baby? Huh? Tell me..” questioning as he grasped for your ankles, placing gentle kisses along your instep and growling into your skin. He wasn’t letting up for anything. Not until he was damn well satisfied..

“Y-yours, daddy. Oh my gosh..”

crying out with a frail whimper as his pace sped up. Chewing at your bottom lip, you’d push at his abs to feign him off but that only did more to fuel his desire to wreck you. Instead, you found yourself hoisted up mid air and cradled in his huge arms. Being propelled up and down on his cock as he slammed you down onto it. Reiner was a brick house of a man, courtesy of all the years he spent playing football. With the bank account to match. By all accounts, he lived the dream life that so many sought after…millions in his account, large, picturesque home and a model wife but the one thing that alluded him…the one person he desired most was right here.

“Fuck….it should’ve been you, baby. It was always supposed to be you. You’re the one that should be wearing that ring, my last name..you should have her life.”

his words becoming far more enunciated, filled with much more passion and aggression..he craved you so badly he could feel it every fiber of his soul. He’d do anything to keep you around..no matter the cost. Clawing into his back, (y/n) cried out his name and let him know that you mirrored his sentiments and that regardless of titles, rings or legalities, he belonged to you! The only one who’d truly ever love him..

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise..”

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starsomens · 2 months

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OK so I know I’m always talking about absolute filth here with Noah but let’s talk about after the filth is done with.

Noah definitely has your aftercare routine down to every single detail. He is definitely the person to make you go and pee right after you’re done especially if he finishes inside. if you guys aren’t out yet definitely has a pill handy. Aside from the whole medical parts of this, he runs a warm shower for you both. Part of his aftercare I feel is just washing and caring for your body afterwards. Since I do detail that he has to be a little rough at times he also wants to show Your body and your mind that he appreciates and love every inch of you.

Even though he would use a sponge to wash you, he prefers to use his hands and some body soap so that he’s able to massage your skin and really feel you in a loving and intimate way. He definitely holds you under the water and he just tucked your head under his chin, giving you kisses your forehead every now and then just whispering the sweetest things to you.

“I love you very much princess…”

“I know,”

“Look at me” and he cups your face. He doesn’t think where he kind of cranks his neck down to be closer to you to make sure that you understand that he truly means it on such a deeper level than just the words. “I love you….so fucking much….”

No, what I think Noah does is he gets out first he goes to the dryer, warms up your towel comes back and hold the towel open for you to just step into a nice fuzzy warm towel after a shower. he definitely helps you to get some clothes to get into and while you’re getting dressed he goes and he grab some snacks for you both once he’s back grabs some of your favorite lotion or your body oil and you guys just talk over things while he lotions up his body and your body. Meanwhile you’re feeding him some snacks and giving him kisses every now and then. And yes, you purposely kiss him with chip crumbs on your lips, in which you say

“ it adds more flavor to the kiss”

This is definitely the time he likes to bring up any kind of problems or issues or discussions. You guys have had that have to do with relationship. Seeing as you guys are now in a more calm, relaxed, and intimate space and atmosphere he brings up issues so that you guys can talk through it without getting into any kind of arguments. Of course, just like any other couple you guys have your hiccups and having disagreements will happen, even when discussing those disagreements.

“ Y/N, I know how you feel on this topic and about scheduling and time but there are a lot of things that I can’t really change and there are some things I can alter"

"I know, I know…. I just….. sometimes I feel kind of ignored. And I know you're not, but I think I might be overthinking it or I might exaggerate a little."

"No baby, you're not. if it's how you feel, then you're not exaggerating, but if you do feel like I'm ignoring you then I'll try to open up a day or two so we can spend more time together. Does that sound better?"

"mhm…. Thank you for understanding."

"thank you for telling me"

And of course, Noah isn't all innocent. He can be guilty of withholding a lot of his emotions and his opinion on things but he is working with you on it and the more and more you guys have time like this together the more he is especially with you on his emotions. And of course, afterwards after you’re all lotion up, and your bellies are full of snacks, he turns on some random show or movie where you guys can just cuddle and fall asleep together.

And yes, you do end up falling asleep beforehand because he relaxed you so much and he tells you things that he’s not ready to say to you while you’re awake. These are his most deep and sincere thoughts and perhaps he has already told you in your sleep when he was going to propose. Where he would do it, when and how, but you don’t need to know that right now

#bad omens #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian #bad omens cult #noahsebastian #badomens #bad omens band

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lemonlover1110 · 10 months

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝟑𝟖𝟏

Toji Fushiguro

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[Chapter 10] Megumi's Fourth Birthday

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

*Just a fluffy chapter, I hope y'all enjoy🥹

Being with Megumi as his fourth birthday approaches is an exciting experience. Megumi knows that his birthday is coming up, his father reminds him daily, and he tells you about it excitedly. The little boy has so many plans, telling you that when he grows a year older he’ll be much more mature than he is now; he won’t be scared to try new things and he’ll behave better. Apparently he’ll be able to stay up longer and he won’t cry over such miniscule things, he’ll eat more veggies and he’ll make more friends.

For his fourth year of life, Megumi has so many plans and you’re beyond excited to be a part of them. Toji sent you the details of the small birthday party that he’s hosting for Megumi. Nothing too extravagant, he’s just taking the kid to his favorite restaurant inviting a couple of Megumi’s daycare friends, and after they’ll go to an arcade, which is perfect since Megumi is finally getting a hang of the games offered. There’s only a couple of games that he actually knows how to play, and he can’t wait to play them with his friends. A party at the park would’ve been a better idea, but it’s extremely cold outside so it wouldn’t be smart.

You’re not sure if you want to join Toji, feeling that you’ll be too old amongst the other kids, but Toji insists that you must go because he doesn’t want to be stuck with three kids. So you’re going. By noon you’re outside your door and knocking on Toji’s since you agreed to meet at the time. When he opens the door, you hear Megumi’s cries and you furrow your brows. Toji sighs.

“He refuses to put on his pants.” Toji is quick to share, and you chuckle. Toji notices the blue shopping bag in your hand, and when he offers to take it from your hand, you shake your head. You smile at him before asking,

“May I come in, Toji? I think I have the perfect way to help you.” You respond, and he moves aside to let you come into the apartment. You walk in, walking straight to Megumi. You crouch down and smile at the teary-eyed boy. You wipe his tears and pout before asking, “What’s up baby? Why don’t you want to put on your pants?”

He doesn’t have an actual valid response, the young boy just doesn’t want to wear pants. You hold back on chuckling before offering, “I have a very special gift for my birthday boy, but I can only give it to you if you wear your pants.”

“But–” Megumi begins, his tears streaming down his face again. It takes everything in you not to laugh.

“See what I’ve been dealing with?” Toji says, and it makes Megumi’s crying worse. You shush the man before turning your full attention to Megumi again.

“I promise that you’ll love what I got you, Megumi. All you have to do is put on your pants. And after we’ll go have lunch at your favorite place– We’re going to do so much fun stuff, Megumi.” You tell him, and after a minute, he ends up putting the pants on without a problem. Toji rolls his eyes, an exasperated sigh leaving his lips. How come when he bribes Megumi it doesn’t work?

“I’m ready.” Megumi answers. However, you can’t just leave yet because Toji isn’t ready yet. He struggled getting Megumi ready, and now the man isn’t changed to leave. He begins to get undressed, taking off his shirt and pants to put on the outfit he had picked out for today. Meanwhile, Megumi opens the gift you got him, and he wastes no time in playing with it.

“Do you like it, Megumi?” You ask him, and he nods in response. He smiles at you and you smile back at him. He continues playing until Toji is ready to go.

“Alright, let’s go.” Toji orders, and you’re out the door within a minute. Megumi holds your hand while you walk to Toji’s car. You end up picking him up while you walk down the stairs.

“Did I forget to wish you a happy birthday?” You ask Megumi, and you stick your bottom lip out when he nods in response. You kiss his temple before telling him, “Happy birthday, Megumi. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He mutters, and it fills your heart up with joy. Toji fights back a smile as he listens to the interaction, walking behind you. God, that’s so sappy, he can’t smile at it, he’s not a sappy man.

Taking care of three kids outside of work hours is more exhausting than your actual job. For some reason, it’s extremely draining to watch three kids. Megumi becomes more energetic and more talkative with the kids, which was to be expected but you just didn’t expect him to be such a handful. But you’re glad that he is, because it means that he’s having fun. You’re not sure Toji shares those same feelings because the man looks tired.

After eating with three four-year-olds, Toji is chasing them around the arcade. Toji wants to play some games with you, and just as he’s about to, Megumi asks for some assistance to play a different game. Toji’s not lucky at all because every time he approaches you with the intent of having some fun himself, a stupid four-year-old tugs on his pants and asks the stupid question, “Will you help me, Mr. Fushiguro?”

He knows he has to comply, he wants to make Megumi happy and he has to do that by making his friends happy. Toji doesn’t want to admit that he’s jealous– He’s jealous of a fucking four-year-old because he gets to play with you while Toji doesn’t. Toji has to chase around some stupid kids, and help them out as well.

But finally, he sees his opportunity. He walks over to you as you awkwardly stand, looking for another game to play. Just when Toji’s hopes go up, they quickly go down. Megumi runs over to you and catches your attention.

“Can we play air hockey?” Megumi asks, blinking rapidly in your direction which causes you to laugh. You’re about to nod but you feel a hand land on the small of your back. You look at Toji and you smile at him. Toji’s brows furrow as he looks down at his son before he asks,

“Can I play a game with her?” Which causes Megumi to shake his head. It takes everything in Toji to not roll his eyes. He sighs. “C’mon, let me play a single game with her.”

“It’s my birthday.” Megumi is all pouty as he points out that it’s his special day. Toji pinches the bridge of his nose before admitting that it is. Toji’s about to watch over the other two kids, before you speak up,

“How about the three of us play a game? I mean, it’s up to four players.” You suggest, and the simple idea hadn’t crossed Toji’s mind. They both agree.

“Should I get one of the other kids?” Toji asks, and you shake your head. They’re playing another game together and you don’t want to interrupt it because in the end one of them will be left out. They’re in the games that are right in front of you, so you’re not too worried about them. It’s fine as long as they’re in your vision “So how are we going to do it?”

“I’ll team up with Megumi, and you can play alone. I think you’ll be fine.” You answer, and he ends up nodding in response. Toji grabs the blue paddle, while you and Megumi are stuck with the red ones.

You begin to play, and it takes Megumi a bit to get used to the game. He’s good at stopping the puck from scoring, but he can’t stop Toji every time. Both of you notice Megumi getting frustrated by the game, and Toji is thinking about going easy because he can’t be too competitive with a four-year-old. He even touches the puck a couple of times, stopping it, and while Toji wants to tell his son that you can’t do that in the game, the little man just turned four. But once Megumi gets the hang of it, he manages to score a couple times with your help.

Toji still wins though. And before you demand a rematch, Megumi wanders off to his friends, about to ask them if they want to play a racing game; Megumi sucks at it but he loves playing the game since he gets to sit down. He usually asks his father for help, but he likes to show off to his friends that he’s a big boy now.

“Wow, can’t believe he just left us like that.” You joke, and Toji chuckles, watching as Megumi’s two friends follow him. When they get to their game, you turn your attention to Toji and ask, “Ready for a rematch?”

“If you’re ready to lose.” He answers, and you begin another game. But this time you actually do all the work. You were only helping Megumi in the last round but this time you’re actually playing. Toji is still a hard opponent but every time he scores, you get even.

Toji almost lets you win, but his competitive side gets the best of him, and he has to score against you a couple of times. Until he finally wins. You pout your lips and cross your arms before you walk over to Megumi and his friends to check how they are. You hear Toji yell,

“Oh c’mon! I thought you wanted a fair game!”

Within the hour, the kids’ parents pick them up from the arcade. Megumi is bummed out to see them go, but he forgets once he plays a couple more games with you. By the end of the day, you have so many tickets.

Megumi trades in his tickets for candy, you trade yours in to get a stupid cartoon ball for Megumi, which he loves more than the candy– With what you have left over you also get some candy for Megumi, which he thanks you for. Toji has the most amount of tickets, doing extraordinary in every single game that the arcade offered (he won’t mention that he stole some of Megumi’s friends' tickets, claiming it as a small fee for everything). However, Toji doesn’t know what he can spend his tickets on.

He ponders on it for a moment, looking at all the fun toys and gadgets that he can pick from. He calculates that he can get two giant stuffed animals, and he stares for a moment. Is it really worth it? The man looks at you and Megumi, as you suck on a lollipop that Megumi offered. Megumi also has his own candy that he sucks on. He smiles at you two, and then gets the two stuffed teddy bears.

You don’t notice it until Toji holds two giant stuffed bears. You laugh since Toji looks absolutely ridiculous but yet so adorable. You tilt your head before you ask, “Two? What for?”

“One for Megumi...” Toji begins. He can’t hand the stuffed bear to Megumi since they’re almost the same size, but also because Megumi’s hands are full. Toji then extends the other bear, “The other for you.”

“Oh…” You feel your face get warm, taking the stuffed bear from his hands. You mutter a thank you, before a weak smile overcomes his lips. Toji clears his throat before he asks,

“Ready to go home?”

When you get back to the apartment building, you drop the stuffed animal back at your apartment before you go to Toji’s apartment. You had some dessert at the restaurant but nothing like the traditional cake. And while Megumi would’ve liked celebrating this part of the day with his friends, Toji didn’t really want to invite two other kids to the small place of living.

Toji lights up four candles, and you begin to sing happy birthday to Megumi, however, he blows the candles out before due time. He heard the cake was a chocolate one and he can’t wait to taste it. You and Toji laugh.

You help Toji out, serving the slices of cake for everyone before you take a seat and enjoy it in silence. Toji finds himself foolishly smiling, he doesn’t remember the last time he was this happy. He’s watching Megumi, who’s making a complete and total mess with his cake.

“I hope that after all the sweets you can sleep tonight.” Toji comments, and Megumi doesn’t miss a beat before responding,

“It’s my birthday.” Which has been Megumi’s only comeback for the day. You chuckle, before nodding.

“He’s right.”

“I wasn’t even telling him anything bad. Just an observation.” Toji responds. A genuine smile comes to your lips as you make eye contact with Toji. His cheeks turn a sweet shade of pink. God, he wishes he could’ve spent the day with just the two of you, but it’s not his birthday. He cherishes this moment because it almost feels like you’re a family.

“I want more cake.” Megumi says, putting his fork down. Toji shakes his head.

“No more cake for today. You’ve had enough sugar, even if it is your birthday.” Toji tells him, and Megumi crosses his arms, pouting his lips. You can’t do anything about it even if you wanted to. Giving Megumi more sugar would be an awful idea.

“You can have more cake tomorrow, Megumi.” You point out but it doesn’t help much. Megumi wants the cake now, not tomorrow. But Megumi has had a great day, so he won’t throw a tantrum, even if it is his birthday.

Toji clears his throat before he stands up. He walks over to the dresser, opening a drawer to pull something out. Your back is turned to him so you don’t really see anything until Toji takes a seat again and he puts down a black square box. He slides it across the table, and you raise your brows.

“What is this?” You ask Toji as you take the box.

“Just a gift. We won’t be together for the holidays since I’ll be taking Megumi to spend it with his grandparents. Thought it’d be appropriate to get you something since you’re so kind to us.” Toji answers, which takes you back. You open the box to find a charm bracelet, which almost makes you burst into tears because it’s perfect. You’ve never really thought about getting a charm bracelet, but you find it like such a thoughtful gift from his part.

Megumi is looking, trying to see what the gift is. He thought he was the only one that got gifts today, but he doesn’t mind that you’re getting something. Megumi absolutely adores you. Toji clears his throat again before saying, “It’s not real gold… Sorry.”

“Oh, Toji, this is so beautiful. I love it.” You smile at him, putting on the bracelet before sliding yourself across the floor to throw your hands over him and hug him. You kiss his cheek, and you immediately feel embarrassed when you pull away. Maybe you should’ve just stuck with a hug. Toji smiles at you.

Megumi walks over to you, crossing his arms before he asks, “Do I get a kiss too?”

“You get all the kisses you want.” You respond, filling his face with kisses until he’s giggling and pushing you away. Once you stop, you stand up, “I should get going.”

“Stay.” Megumi looks up at you with doe eyes, and you pout. You kiss the top of his head before you ruffle his hair. “It’s my birthday.”

“I’m tired, baby. But I’ll come back tomorrow to play with you, okay?” You respond, and he pouts. He’s about to throw a tantrum, and when Toji sees it, he stands up.

“I’ll walk you home.” Toji offers, not wanting to witness what’s about to happen. He expected the tantrums to stop the moment Megumi turned four, but this is the second one today. You two walk out the door together, leaving Megumi to scream by himself. It almost makes you turn around to stay with him a little longer, but Toji guides you out because he knows you’re weak.

“I feel bad.” You comment, opening the door to the home. He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, putting his hands in his pockets.

“You can’t give in or he’ll throw more tantrums. You’ve spent your entire day with him, you must be tired.” Toji tells you, which is true but that doesn’t make you feel any less bad. Megumi is still screaming. You open the door to your apartment, and you turn to look at Toji for a minute. You smile as his hand goes to your cheek, caressing you with his thumb. You lightly bite down on your lip, and when he realizes what he’s doing, he takes his hand back and almost mutters an apology. He awkwardly says, “You look really pretty. Thank you for joining us.”

“Toji…” The way you say his name makes him melt. He doesn’t like that feeling that begins to overtake him when he hears your voice or when he hears your name. He looks at you. You grab the collar of his shirt and you pull him down, your lips meeting his.

It’s a short kiss, but it feels like it lasts for eternity. Toji wishes it could last for eternity. His body temperature rises, his palms getting sweaty as they go to your back. It’s a sweet kiss, and while he isn’t one that cares for sweets, he wishes he could get this every single day, every hour, every minute, every second. He doesn’t like this care and affection that he’s feeling. He fucking hates it because it makes him weak. He doesn’t like longing for one person. Yet you’re infiltrating his mind, and changing his feelings and thoughts.

You pull away, a sheepish smile on your lips, “Thank you for the bear, Toji. And the bracelet, it was very thoughtful.”

Before he answers, you’re inside, and you’ve shut the door. You’ve left him frozen, questioning everything that just happened.

Worst of all, you’ve left him with an idiotic smile on his lips, that quickly goes away when he feels it on his face.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #anime #jujutsu kaisen x reader #toji fushiguro #jjk toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #daddy toji #toji zenin #jujutsu toji #toji x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x y/n #fushiguro toji #toji x you #dilf toji #toji fic

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chayannesegg · 3 months

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something else about fit and tubbo’s relationship: it’s very special to me and they do love each other very much, but i do think this current tension was almost bound to happen not matter what. even without the tubbo homophobia. yes, tubbo self-sabotaged and made the situation current happen. yes, fit is valid to be upset at tubbo. but the unequal footing tubbo was reacting to is VERY real and something they BOTH built and something I think ONLY tubbo is fully aware of.

while i don’t think fit and tubbo’s relationship is paternal at all, i do think it is heavily informed by the age difference. when they meet, tubbo is young, inexperienced, and reminds fit of his son. in contrast, fit is a stable older presence who knows the island secrets. their early dynamic is a bit like a mentorship: fit checks in on tubbo, tubbo asks about the island, fit decides what to tell tubbo, tubbo sees how someone with experience handles the island.

losing the eggs only strengthens this pattern. tubbo is a mess and relies a lot on fit (and pac) to help get him through. fit is hurting too, but obviously he is not going to share all his fears with a teenager having a breakdown (that’s not how he operates, not when he can channel his emotions into something productive instead like checking on tubbo, pac, and the island). tubbo meanwhile strives to have walls as strong as fit's, but even if he won’t talk about it directly, his emotions bleed through a lot of the time anyway. so fit continues to check in on tubbo, and tubbo continues to let fit in and they grow closer because of it. we have lots of sweet moments in their friendship of tubbo letting fit see his vulnerabilities (about the eggs, with fred, about his day to day concerns) but we don’t see a lot of fit sharing his vulnerabilities. early on, fit makes it very clear to tubbo that tubbo has not earned the right to his secrets, and what he knows about the island, and what he does. fit visits tubbo and then leaves to go on secret jobs tubbo knows nothing about and can’t follow him to. tubbo doesn’t know anything about fit’s memories, or his resistance work, or his purpose. this was an initial source of tension between them, and while tubbo eventually decided to trust fit anyway, to this day, tubbo must be aware that he still hasn’t earned fit's full trust. and that fit, for all he knows tubbo’s problems, hasn’t shared many in return. the only exceptions to this that I can think of are 1) fit’s feelings for pac, which tubbo is privy to and while he teases fit, he is supportive of (which tubbo lost access to—at least in his head—when fitpac started dating, hence the acting out) and 2) fit coming to tubbo about the cats (which tubbo does NOT recognise as a moment of intimacy, that baffoon just laughs it off). i’m not blaming fit for this, as much as he loves tubbo, tubbo is an emotionally unstable teenager (turned young adult) whose bad at both secret-keeping and tact (and fit holds some very sensitive very dangerous secrets), but it definitely creates a lopsidedness in their friendship.

especially because tubbo DOES respect this boundary of fit’s. while sometimes he pesters him for access to the office or insider info, he doesn’t seek fit’s personal business out behind his back really. meanwhile, the few times that tubbo has tried to keep something from them (kinda attempting to mirror fit’s own walls imo), fit and pac have gone behind his back to find out what it is. for example, them going to quackity’s house to investigate fred’s kidnapping without telling him, or them going and reading tubbo’s investigation room about the fed worker killings. now, i get why pac and fit—nosy and concerned as they are—do this, but it’s not great communication and it’s not a great show of trust.

all of this results in fit having a LOT of insight and access into tubbo’s life and insecurities and tubbo having comparatively little in return. and fit deciding how and when he interacts with tubbo and tubbo relying on fit to engage (lest he interrupt something secretive). they have all this restrictions and intricacies for how they interact and both of them have fed into this dynamic—it’s familiar and easy for both of them (fit isn't risking his secrets by trusting tubbo more, tubbo isn't risking rejection by asking for more)—even though their friendship has progressed and needs more balance. it worked ok for them for awhile bc they do both care for each other a lot, but it was NEVER going to be sustainable. any shift in dynamic that lengthened the distance between them would have unsteadied it.

but while tubbo is acutely aware of this tension and sensitive to it changing (and lashing out in response), fit has never really had to think about it. given the way they’ve interacted, fit’s own feelings have always been a bit separate from their friendship. it’s only now that tubbo's emotions/actions have hurt fit that fit wants his feelings acknowledged. he wants a more even dynamic, but he doesn’t realize that their friendship doesn’t feel like a “two-way street” because it never has been, almost by design.

i don’t think tubbo has the experience or insight into fit’s emotions to realize what fit needs organically. i don't think fit can understand how his relationship with pac isolated tubbo even if he wants it to stay the same. i don’t think fit recognises the ways tubbo continues to show his trust in fit (like still inviting fit to follow him on the fred date or not investigating his secrets). i don't think tubbo understands why fit is upset with him (just that he is) or confidence to ask.

i don’t think either of them are going to properly explain their concerns to each other, if they have the words to properly explain it. all of this makes me think we’re only in for more fit & tubbo miscommunication in the coming weeks, but i DO think we still have hope. because these fools do love each other and pac (who I didn’t talk about much at all) & ramon & sunny (tho she’s also hurting) aren’t just gonna stand idly by while they continue to hurt each other.

#qsmp #qsmp fit #qsmp tubbo #listen i just think so much about them #have you considered that tubbo has let fit witness every aspect of his relationship with fred #have you considered that level of trust #this doesn't even get into how morning crew is changing as more people join that time slot #and how the fitpac date comes right at the time everything starts to change and tubbo is reacting to that as well #anyway WRITE THAT BIRTHDAY LETTER TUBBO!!#make it good!!!

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fanfictionismyaddiction · 1 month

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When life catches up

Ch.3

The day at work came to an end and Y/n cleaned her desk so that she could get down to Craig which had texted her 5 minutes ago that he is waiting for her downstairs in the car park. She put the last paperwork of the day in her bag deciding that she would be finishing this one at home when she came back. Because why should she go to bed if she could still work and not think about what her life has come to. Not think about how tausend of people could die if she and the FBI would do one thing wrong.

She was afraid and she tried desperately to shut down her emotions. But it would not work and working her self to the point of exhaustion only worked for a short period of time. But that wouldn’t stop her from still doing it.

Gibbs was the only other person left in the building when she took her full bag and made her way to the elevator. “Good night Gibbs” he didn’t even look up from what he was doing. “Well I’m off” she turned around and pressed the button to call the elevator. “You know you shouldn’t take all that work home with you it isn’t good. I speak from experience” he still didn’t look up but it made her turn around to him again. “What do you mean?” She put her long fringe behind her ear.

At last he looked up he even stood up and moved over to her. “I haven’t said anything the last couple of weeks but I do notice things. You have been avoiding us. You don’t sleep and you take work with you. It isn’t healthy you know. You should rest” she exhaled. “I’m fine Gibbs. It’s nothing.” She couldn’t look him in the eyes knowing she was lying straight to him. “It wasn’t a question. I know you’re going through something right now what it is I have no idea as it seems you’re not comfortable enough to tell any of us… but you’re going on a break. Give me the documents.” He was holding his hand out to her. She was shocked. “What do you mean go on a break. I can’t… I… what would I even do? I can’t just stop right now!” A single tear was rolling down her cheek simply because of frustration and exhaustion. “You know what Gibbs here. Here you go” she was pulling out the folder of documents laying it down on the nearest surface. Without saying anything more she walked over to the elevator and got in. Leaving him behind.

He didn’t know how to feel. A man like Gibbs wasn’t known to have many feelings but right now he felt many emotions. He felt bad because she was clearly not in a good place. Bad because she wouldn’t let him help her and frustrated because he was helping her but she wouldn’t let him. He wanted to run to her telling her he was sorry and that she should let him fix things. Let him fix her problems. Let him hold her so she could sleep well. But he didn’t do that. He wouldn’t do that because their relationship wasn’t like that. She didn’t know about his feelings towards her. How he longs to hold her. Kiss her. But he’s only able to look from afar. Be her friend if you could call them that. Because she has a boyfriend now. How? When? Who? He wants to be that for her. But he can’t.

Meanwhile she was looking for Craig’s car in the parking lot. Still being frustrated about the current situation. She was pissed not only was she stressed about working 24/7 for ncis and the fbi now she was suspended from her normal job. She found Craig’s car opening the door and sliding in. “How was work honey” that was his attempt on a joke. “Craig’s please don’t right now isn’t the right time. I was just suspended!” She tried to sound nice knowing that he wasn’t at fault. Well in a way he was but she agreed to help so it really was her own fault. But it was still frustrating knowing she wasn’t able to keep her own live together. “Anyway where are we going now that I am able to commit 100%?”

After months of not posting I found time to write again. It’s short but hey. Hope you guys like it and are still interested in the story. Xx

@thecraziestcrayon @aleck-cross @yourdailymemedelivery @drakelover78 @xxbeckybeexx-blog @nighttimestarz @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @youretoosweetforme @kittenlittle24

#reader insert #fanfiction #gibbs x reader #jethro gibbs x reader #gibbs imagine #ncis gibbs #leroy jethro gibbs x reader #leroy jethro gibbs #ncis #ncis fanfiction

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lurkingshan · 11 months

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Step by Step Episode 11 (OF DOOM)

Warning: I really, really did not like this episode. If you’re trying to keep positive vibes you should scroll on by, friends!

Welp. I told a few friends last week that my biggest disappointment would be if, after missing the mark on the emotional payoff of the slow burn and speed running the relationship, the show chose to break them up and do a time jump rather than staying with them in the present time and working through the conflicts they set up. And here we are! I wish I’d been wrong about where this was heading. Shouts to @waitmyturtles and @neuroticbookworm for holding me down while this show fell apart on me, I’ve been all in a tizzy about it, because I really loved it for awhile there.

This episode, yet again, felt like a disjointed mess. After last week’s cliffhanger, the idea of Pat resigning to get away from the predatory office gossip fell away within a few quick scenes. Instead the tension disappeared as the plot brought them into a bubble with only their most supportive colleagues and we swerved into a retread of the Put nonsense and a new plot about Jeng and Pat fighting to save the digital marketing team via the power of Put’s quasi-celebrity and Instagram likes. Or something. I honestly couldn’t tell you the details of what they were trying to accomplish, I was too distracted by my incredulity to pay close attention to this very sudden fake problem that they were obviously going to conquer (that, my friends, is what we call conflict with no stakes). Meanwhile, the show suddenly wants me to care about Jaab and Jen again - enough to devote a big portion of the penultimate episode’s runtime to them, what a choice - after doing fuck all with that plot for six weeks. It’s a no from me.

It doesn’t matter anyway, because soon enough we’re time skipping again! After resolving the work challenge subplot we speed past another three months of Pat and Jeng’s relationship without addressing any of their issues, and I guess I’m supposed to be at peace with being a full nine months into their relationship with no onscreen emotional advancement? But I gotta be honest, y’all. I am not. You just don’t do this with a slow burn romance narrative. You can’t spend 80% of your runtime building to something that you have no intention of paying off, and no amount of thinking about what else this show is trying to say is going to convince me they did proper justice to the relationship. I already broke down why I didn’t think the episode 10 culmination got us there, and nothing that happened in this episode changed my opinion.

And all of this is leading to yet another time jump - two entire years this time - after the big reveal that Jeng doesn’t believe in Pat at all and literally bought his success, Evil Daddy knew it all along and waited for a choice moment to deploy the info for maximum damage while twirling his villain mustache, and Pat is finally quitting for real and dumping Jeng for good measure.

And ya know what? GOOD FOR PAT. I was completely on his side in this decision. If there’s one bright spot in this episode (other than Chot, always Chot) it’s Pat getting himself together enough to realize he deserves better than the bullshit he’s been getting from Put and Jeng and walking on out. So Jeng and Pat are now broken up, but I never got invested in their relationship in the first place, because we barely saw it, let alone got the chance to live in and feel it. I wasn’t even upset while watching this breakup scene - it left me emotionally indifferent. Which is maybe the worst thing I can say about a dramatic climax in a story.

I guess next week we’ll meet Jeng and Pat again two years in the future and get some kind of happy ending. I’m gonna stick around for the finale and cross my fingers that we get all the epilogue fluff we have definitely earned, but sadly, this show has lost me.

#step by step #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

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sariel626 · 10 months

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I read your platonic dad Poe fic. Could you do another one where Poe has to run to the office and brings his kid for a few minutes and they meet Fitzgerald for the first time. He tries to keep his little detective quiet lol

AAAAAAA! My first request!!! This is so exciting!!!

Note: Fitzgerald did meet reader under different circumstances in the other Poe work, so we’ll have reader’s memory be foggy of him.

TW: possible OOC characters

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Emergency Meeting!🚨🚨🚨

Poe grabbed his phone and noticed it was Francis calling, so he answered the call while motioning for (Reader) to be quiet, “Hello boss, is there something you need? Ah yes, the plans for the new buildings have been drafted. I can bring them in a couple hours for review- 15 minutes?! N-No, it’s not a problem, but my daughter, she can’t be left alone yet. I promise she won’t be a bother! Thank you!”

Immediately after hanging up Poe started to gather his things. (Reader) had cleaned up her crayons and papers after figuring out she would probably be going somewhere with her dad. “Dad, are you going to work?” Poe sighed, “Yes, there’s a meeting I have to go to and unfortunately, you’ll be coming with me this time.” He recalled the last time (Reader) was at the office and shivered at the thought of the experience repeating. Poe grabbed his bag and began leading her out the door. The young girl whined at this, “Why can’t I stay with Uncle Ranpo? It’s Saturday, he’s not gonna be at work!” “I have to be there in less than fifteen minutes. That isn’t anywhere near enough time to drop you off with Ranpo. Did you grab some books? Colors and notebooks?” The girl hummed in response, pouting about having to go to her dad’s work on the weekend.

Living about 7 minutes away made it slightly easier for the stressed architect and young girl to arrive in time by speed walking. There were many times when a bookstore or sweet shop would catch little (Reader)’s eye and almost distract her, but Poe was determined to get him and his daughter to and through this meeting as soon as possible.

Once they arrived at the entrance of the guild, (Reader) felt a sense of deja vu wash over her. She grabbed Poe’s hand and he looked down at her. “I think I’ve been here before…and something bad happened. I don’t wanna go.” Her father’s expression immediately grew worried. Was she having traumatic flashbacks? Was he going to lose his daughter because of this important meeting? Karl jumped off Poe’s shoulders onto his daughter’s, which seemed to help calm the small girl’s nerves a bit. “It’ll only be one short meeting, then we’ll leave, I promise” Poe gave (Reader) a reassuring smile. “…Ok, but then we have to get ice cream!” “Deal!”

After passing through what seemed like 50 empty hallways, they finally made it to their destination with a minute to spare. Knocking on the door, they hear a “Come in” and both enter the lavish room, coming face to face with Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald himself and Louisa Alcott by his side, as per usual. Seeing Poe now here, Francis smiled and checked his watch, “Poe! You’re just in time! Let’s take a look at what you’ve drawn up.” Ignoring the presence of Poe’s daughter, he watched Poe take out the files for each plan and set them on his desk. “The new firm will require at least $690,000,000 to build…”

Meanwhile, (Reader) had moved from behind Poe to behind the couch he was sitting on. She felt uncomfortable upon seeing the blonde CEO, but couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly that gave her that feeling. Taking out the crayons from her bag, the girl continued working on her picture for Uncle Ranpo. Sifting through the box to find a black crayon, because he always has to have his signature glasses at the scene, she noticed her red crayon fall out and roll around the corner of the couch. Of course, this did not go unnoticed by Francis. Amusement spread across his face as he spoke, “Poe, did you let in a rat?” Knowing full well who was there. The tousle haired writer tried to maintain his composure and picked it up, “I-It must’ve fallen out o-of my pocket from earlier.” Francis laughed, “I didn’t know you used crayons to draw up your plans for new structures.” This only raised Poe’s anxiety of the situation. Will Francis see his daughter and force him to get rid of her? Will he kill her?! “O-Occasionally I do, t-to avoid smearing in my drafts…” Hearing the poor excuse, Francis decided to see how far Poe would go to hide the girl’s presence. “I suppose that’s reasonable. Now, you were saying?”

The writer let out a sigh of relief internally and continued with the meeting. He couldn’t help but notice Louisa glancing next to him, almost as if she were trying to see behind the couch. At this point, (Reader) had finished her initial drawing and flipped her drawing notebook paper. Coincidentally, this was done almost in sync with her father, but she was slightly louder which caught the attention of the Guild’s strategist. The young girl, pondering what to draw next, glanced around the room before freezing up as she looked at the space between Fitzgerald’s desk and the door (like where Atsushi was before he escaped and took the doll to Dazai). Her pupils shrunk and (Reader)’s hand instinctively started moving to draw a familiar, yet forgotten memory…

As she was drawing, the small artist had built up the urge to sneeze and sneeze she did. The room fell silent for a few moments before Francis said, “Poe, please refrain from bringing anyone to Guild meetings again. You may come out from hiding.” (Reader) peeked her head out, still feeling a bit uncomfortable around the businessman. Francis would’ve been lying if he said he was surprised by the girl’s appearance. He had expected someone much older and taller. Clearing his voice without breaking eye contact, he asks Louisa to take the young girl to another room until he and Poe are finished.

Cleaning up her crayons again, and getting the red one from her father, (Reader) follows the loyal woman to a room nearby. “Miss Louisa? Can I call you that?” Louisa looked down at the kid, “Louisa or Alcott is fine.” “Do you have to go back?” “I do…but I don’t want to interrupt Lord Francis’s meeting…” The small girl pondered this, “Do you want to play double double this this?” Louisa was taken by surprise at the girl’s offer. Didn’t this kid remember her just watching Lord Francis killing her parents and almost her a few years ago? Why would she want to play a game with her? Unless it’s a trap! “—ouisa? Miss Louisa? You can say no, it’s ok.” A tiny hand was waving in front of Louisa’s face to snap her out of her thoughts. “S-Sorry, I don’t know how to play so I’ll just review my work. Can you please be completely quiet so I can work?” “I’ll try my best to be as quiet as possible!” Louisa smiled at the young detective’s determination, but immediately sweat dropped when (Reader) pulled out four adult mystery novels.

Soon enough, the meeting was over and the girl had solved three mysteries before reaching the end of the books. Louisa brought (Reader) back to Francis’s office, the room still making the young detective uneasy. Karl was the first of the three to notice the two enter, and he jumped onto the familiar child’s shoulder. This alerted both Poe and Francis of the two girls’ arrival. “Welcome back little one, I’m sure you were much better for Miss Louisa than you were during the meeting?” Poe sighed, “I-I’m so sorry sir…I j-just couldn’t find a-anyone to watch her.” Louisa interjected, “She was very good and polite. I asked her to stay quiet so I could work and she didn’t make a sound.”

The nervous girl who had been hiding behind Louisa with Karl on her shoulders came out, knowing that she had to apologize for causing trouble for her father. Fidgeting with the ends of her shirt, she bowed her head in shame, “I-I’m sorry for making so much noise during your meeting…and being a problem…” Francis patted her head and chuckled, “Just don’t let it happen again.” He pulled his hand back, “You’re exactly like your father, appearances aside. Run along now, I’m sure you two had plans today.” Poe and (Reader) said their goodbyes and quickly rushed out.

Once they were gone, Francis frowned and continued staring at the door, “Miss Louisa.” “Y-Yes Lord Francis?” He turned towards her, “Don’t you think that girl resembled Eliza Haywood and Damien Lewis a bit too much?” Louisa noticed this too, but she didn’t expect her boss to ask her about it so soon. “I do…but are we still going to kill her? Poe seemed really attached to her…” “He was told to kill her if he saw her back then, that means he disobeyed an order.” Francis sighed and sat down in his chair at his desk, “But this could bear fruit for us if we play our cards right, let’s leave her be for now. I’m sure her father will help hone whatever gift that girl has.” “Should I retrieve the files on her biological parents?” “No, please continue putting together the next strategy.”

Meanwhile, after having left Francis’s office, Poe began scolding his daughter. “You can’t cause more problems for Mr. Fitzgerald like that. He’s busy enough as is with his businesses and running the Guild. He had to call me in on a day off because of his schedule being so packed. Please don’t let that happen again, especially when you can be quieter for other people.” There was a moment of silence as the little (Reader) let his words sink in. “ Oh, Why were you so nervous around him? I mean, I don’t blame you since he could easily fire me or kill m-“ The girl stopped in her tracks the moment he said ‘kill’ with a terrified expression on her face. Poe saw this and immediately grew worried, he hadn’t seen that look since he first took her in. The writer, not knowing what to do, reached out his hand like he did so long ago and asked, “Would you like to go to those sweet shops we passed on our way here? We could also s-stop by the bookstore if it’s still open?” Trying to hide the nervousness in his voice. Karl nuzzled her cheek, both gestures making the child snap out of her trance. She shakily grabbed her dad’s hand and the three left to fulfill Poe’s offer to his daughter.

———————————————————————

YOU CAN’T BEAT THE POWER OF ENERGY DRINKS AND OVERWORKING MYSELF WRITER’S BLOCK! I GOT THE POWER OF CHILD READER ON MY SIDE!

I’m so sorry if you’re not happy with how this turned out. I tried to keep it consistent with the how (Reader) was adopted story. Please feel free to give feedback, it is much appreciated.

Fun Fact: Eliza Haywood and Damien Lewis are also writers irl.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #poe bsd #platonic bsd #francis bsd #louisa bsd #platonic poe x reader bsd #platonic bungo stray dogs #platonic poe bsd

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persephoneflowerpetals · 3 days

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This is kind of a dumb idea because I don’t know how this concept would work with Greek gods lol (Disney magic I guess? Lol), but I was thinking about that cliche “body swap” trope with Hades and Persephone the other day and I just came up with so many ideas lol.

Like, I can totally see Persephone in Hades’ body being all sweet and soft and shy (which is highly unusual to see from Hades unless he’s with Persephone lol) while Hades in Persephone’s body has a fast-talking, sleazy, and super casual personality and everyone’s shook because Persephone doesn’t act like that at all. Like, it’s so odd to others seeing them act like each other when they don’t know the context of their situation. Also their voices don’t change, so Hades sound all sweet while Persephone sounding…like Hades lol is just so weird and off putting.

And then like, maybe they have to keep their body swap a secret so they aren’t causing a big commotion about it so until it gets fixed they have to pretend to be each other and it’s harder than they realize because (despite getting along so well as a couple and as friends) they’re total opposites in personality.

I also love the idea of them both just kinda admiring each other in general lmao, like Hades is just like…in love with himself because he looks like his wife now and then he just goes on to admire himself (or Persephone as himself since she’s now in his body) because the dude can honestly be so full of himself sometimes, so he thinks he’s gorgeous too lmaooo (it’s pretty much like that scene from Scooby Doo 2 lmao). Meanwhile, Persephone’s freaking out because she looks like her husband and (as much as she loves and admires him) she doesn’t want to be stuck as him for the rest of eternity. And Hades is just really cool about the whole thing and doesn’t even mind (however, he too doesn’t want to look like his wife for the rest of eternity, so he wants to get this whole thing fixed at some point because after all, he’s got an underworld to run).

I also like the idea of them struggling to use and control each other’s powers. Like, Persephone can’t stop accidentally setting stuff on fire and Hades either can’t stop growing stuff wherever he goes or he can’t grow anything but a tiny seeding/sapling lol

I had this stupid quote idea too lol:

Hades (as Persephone): *comes in with a bunch of shopping bags*

Persephone (as Hades): Where in the underworld have you been!? I’ve been looking all over for you!

Hades: I was busy!

Persephone: Doing what?!

Hades: Shopping!

Persephone: Hades!

Hades: C’mon, babe! You never let me spoil you, so I had to do it for you! Look, see I got ya some new chitons that fit you perfectly. I was thinkin’ maybe after everything is said and done you can personally show ‘em off to me. *winks*

Persephone: Hades…can you be serious for like, one second, please?

Anyways I kinda wanna write this as a fic, but like I said I dunno how I could logically explain it since their gods and I don’t think that kind of thing could happen to them/be a problem for them so yeah lmao, but I just thought I’d share the idea since I haven’t posted in a hot minute (I started a GREAT new job and I’ve been training, so I’ve been putting all my energy and time into learning how to do everything)

#rambles #disney #hades #disney’s hercules #hercules movie & series au #persephone #persephone oc #hercules oc #disney oc #self insert oc #hades x persephone #persephone x hades #persephades #fic ideas

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dramavixen · 8 months

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For those who aren’t quite over An Ancient Love Song – the story from Lu Yuan’s perspective

Hello all! This will be a translation of two videos by Bilibili creator 小城问路家 that I found to be exquisite character analyses. I considered subtitling them, but I don’t want to rip the videos from his platform and I think they still work effectively in essay form. If you understand Chinese/have a Bilibili account, I highly recommend giving these videos some support:

Part 1 | Part 2

Below begins the full translation. FYI, I’ll be editing content where necessary to make this read better. I also recommend having a snack and some water at the ready because this is going to be quite lengthy.

Viewers are all aware that this drama is presented from Shen Buyan’s perspective. From his point of view, the instances in which he travels back are separated by a very short period of time. Between some leaps, there isn’t any separation at all. What that means is that his and Lu Yuan’s situations are drastically different.

When it comes to Lu Yuan, there are large periods of “empty” time in between Shen Buyan’s time leaps. Three years, five years, ten years, and then the rest of her life. Likely, the production team became aware of this problem and created a special episode that retells the story from elderly Lu Yuan’s perspective. But perhaps due to financial and time length restrictions, this special episode more so uses material from the full drama and plays it in reverse while incorporating elderly Lu Yuan’s narration in key moments.

What viewers should understand is that that episode is told from elderly Lu Yuan’s perspective, who has access to an omniscient point of view. She already knows about this entire story.

Meanwhile, what I think really appeals to us as viewers about this story are those long periods of waiting. During those three, five, ten years that Lu Yuan spends waiting, her understanding of the story isn’t actually complete. We can’t use an omniscient perspective to understand Lu Yuan. She only experiences small bits at a time, and she also refuses Shen Buyan’s attempts to reveal more details to her. When I rewatched the show from Lu Yuan’s perspective and ignored omniscient knowledge, I discovered all the little details that the director and writers slipped into the show.

Jing Ping Year 30: Lu Yuan, 18 years old

Let’s start from when Shen Buyan traveled to when Lu Yuan was 18 years old. At this time, Shen Buyan is carrying the regret of not fulfilling his promise to stay with her. He has come back in a very frail condition and encounters Lu Yuan. Then the following exchange occurs between Lu Yuan and Shen Buyan—remember this scene, as it will become relevant later:

LY: You recognize me? What is the matter? Why are you crying? SBY: Someone’s waiting for me. But I went the wrong way.

18-year-old Lu Yuan sings the following lines of poetry as she returns home. These lines also appear in prior parts of the plot:

At first, when we set out, The willows were fresh and green; Now, when we shall be returning, The snow will be falling in clouds.

Translation from the Chinese Text Initiative of the University of Virginia

This poem comes from the Classic of Poetry's "Caiwei," which tells the story of a soldier who is enlisted into battle at a faraway border. In the endlessly long years of war, he expresses longing for his family. These lines discreetly touch on the drama's three main themes: the cruelty of war, longing for your beloved, and prolonged periods of waiting.

Shen Buyan first decides to keep his distance from Lu Yuan. But when he discovers that she's being mistreated, he still reveals himself to pass knowledge on to Lu Yuan.

Some of his teachings are more obvious foreshadowing, like hiding secret codes in music or when he teaches her things about the nations that are beyond the time period's understanding—even though it isn't explicitly said, we can still guess that in addition to geography, he teaches her all about economic and military matters. Hence, he gives her what she will need to become the mother of the emperor who will unify the nine nations.

Aside from that, the first lesson that he teaches her is to "understand larger truths from smaller signs." When we first watch, we might see this teaching is foreshadowing for when Lu Yuan later takes down the husbandry official—it's through this lesson that she discovers the official is secretly selling military horses to Beilie.

But I think the lesson is mainly a prelude for the rest of the drama. When people talk about this show, they all say that Lu Yuan is a wise and intelligent female lead. I think that everything started with this lesson of "understanding larger truths from smaller signs," because it explains how later—be it with Shen Buyan's time travel or her battles with Li Yong—she's able to understand everything. This includes how, through very small details, she will deduce the truth of the reversed timelines. It's a huge reason why Lu Yuan is able to become the person she is at the very end.

After Shen Buyan finishes teaching her and she defeats the official, Shen Buyan decides to end things and leave. However, Lu Yuan bravely expresses herself and manages to obtain for them a period of time in which the two of them are happily together. But with the start of war, Li Yong sees potential in Lu Yuan and recruits her as a spy to go to Beilie. She says goodbye to Shen Buyan, and ends this first time leap.

In this first leap, I think two details that should be noted are:

Lu Yuan remembers every little thing that Shen Buyan tells her. Specifically, she remembers every little thing from their time together. After a pair of lovers separate and think about each other afterward, aside from looking at physical belongings (like the jade or the konghou), they're likely to spend more time remembering all their tiny interactions with each other. So every detail throughout this first leap is something that Lu Yuan can recall clearly. This is very important to remember for later, when we observe how she changes.

In the three years during which Lu Yuan searches for Shen Buyan, she makes use of the chancellor's connections and resources. In the drama, she says that after completing her mission, she continuously searched for him. During her search for him, she follows Li Yong to Jiangdu. As Li Yong's intelligence director, the information available must be incredibly thorough and it also covers intelligence about all nations. You can assume that she used that intelligence to look for him through an exchange that comes later:

Where have you been all these years? I searched for you for so long. They all said they could not find someone like you. They did not know of you.

We can largely assume that the results of her searches tell her that no such person as "Shen Buyan" ever existed. So in these three years, Lu Yuan must be suspecting whether or not "Shen Buyan" was a real person or who he actually was.

What must Lu Yuan feel as she searches for him? I think we can mainly interpret that at this point, Lu Yuan views him as her first love. If, in this kind of relationship, Shen Buyan never turns up again, we can presume that Lu Yuan would house it away in her heart forever as her first love before moving on to live the rest of her life.

This can be deduced because when Lu Yuan is 18, the difference between this time and her later years is that she doesn't know that Shen Buyan will come back. Plainly, there are no such promises between them. The only thing that exists is the period of time that they spend together. She asks Shen Buyan to wait for her, but when she comes back, she finds that Shen Buyan didn't wait. She wouldn't think that Shen Buyan "disappeared," she would think that he "left." He left without promising to return.

Then, in the following three years, he doesn't contact her at all. So mainly, Lu Yuan would think, He left. Has he forgotten me?

Based on this, you can guess why in her older years, she recalls meeting him again at 21 like this:

Three years later—on the day of the Shangsi Festival—when I thought that everything was simply a beautiful dream from my youth, he suddenly appeared before me once more.

When we think about her in those three years, she must be missing Shen Buyan. But she also wonders whether Shen Buyan has forgotten all about her. If Shen Buyan hadn't returned, she would have preserved him in her memory forever, but she also would have started a new life.

Yuanqi Year 1: Lu Yuan, 21 years old

While it's fairly easy to understand Lu Yuan's perspective from when she's 18, it gets much more complicated in the second time leap. Let's first summarize how it goes:

Right when Shen Buyan arrives, he intends to kill Li Yong. After Lu Yuan stops him, the two of them enter into some disagreements. Ultimately, Shen Buyan gives up on his plans before going with Lu Yuan to their home in Nanmeng Lake. They spend some peaceful and happy times together, with Shen Buyan respecting her decisions.

Then he returns with her to persuade the young Emperor against his movements north, and they later witness Li Yong's betrayal and his role in incapacitating the Emperor. Throughout this time, Lu Yuan discovers instances in which Shen Buyan doesn't remember certain things that occurred in their relationship. Afterward, Lu Yuan decides to move to the palace. Shen Buyan fully intends on following her there.

The scene of the rainy night in which he disappears from the carriage is widely recognized as an intensely sad one, but I have a different perspective on it.

First, let's look at the overall progression of this second time leap. We know that Lu Yuan has discovered the existence of the reversed timelines. When she realizes that Shen Buyan doesn't remember the fruit tree or the jade, she'll then think about the words that Shen Buyan spoke in his sleep before and put everything together. That's when she realizes that they're trapped in reversed timelines.

I do think that she only understands it at surface-level and hasn't yet thought about it in more depth. Like how realization dawns on us as we watch the last episode, she more so only recognizes the foundation of things.

My second thought is based on the first. In the rainy scene of the carriage, why do we all find it to be a very sad scene? One part of it is that Shen Buyan promises to stay with her, but can't follow through. He suddenly disappears without explanation. The second point is that Lu Yuan doesn't know exactly what has become of Shen Buyan, even if she knows that he's disappeared. That she's in pain and turmoil, but she doesn't know how he feels.

We can guess that Lu Yuan overturns these doubts at a later point: when she's in the rain looking for him, she ultimately has to get up on her own and take the carriage herself to the palace. After this, five years pass.

In these five years, she knows much more than she did in the previous three. She knows for sure that Shen Buyan is from the future. She knows with certainty that he had no choice in disappearing. So over the next five years, she will eventually deduce that how they parted from one another when she was 21 was also how they met when she was 18.

She'll think, Why was it that back when I was 18, Shen Buyan was in such awful condition? It was like he had been through hell and back. He was completely frail and kept calling her name.

At 18, she couldn't understand why. But after five years, locked in the palace, after spending every night thinking about it, she will eventually figure it out: While I searched for him in the rain, he had not wanted to leave. And when he returned by the river, he was in the same condition that I had been in—no, even worse.

So the reasons for which we deem the rainy scene will be resolved as she thinks everything over. She will realize that he felt just as awful as she did in that moment, and that perhaps he searched for her even more desperately than she did for him. I think after realizing this, Lu Yuan smiled truly, from the bottom of her heart.

In actuality, the director also borrows 18-year-old Lu Yuan in their first meeting to tell Shen Buyan what 21-year-old Lu Yuan wants to say:

Look at the state you are in. I think that she definitely would not blame you!

My third thought is that over these five years and through her understanding of the reversed timelines, taking into account details from the two times that they met, she will be able to conclude that their very first meeting did not happen in this time leap. Since she didn't recognize Shen Buyan when she was 18, then when Shen Buyan first meets her in the future, he won't recognize her either. Thus, while their relationship is bound to begin at some point in between, it can't be when she's 21. That's because when they first reunite during this time leap, the two of them are clearly already in love with one another—even though Shen Buyan doesn't know about events from when she's 18, he still loves her already in this second time leap.

With this, you can tell why Lu Yuan will ultimately stick to this decision:

Shen Buyan. If there truly will be a next time, I would rather we not recognize one another.

It's easy to interpret this as her being hurt severely by his departure, but I think the deeper meaning is that when she puts together the puzzle of her meeting Shen Buyan at 18 and 21, this is a decision that will protect Shen Buyan. She's thinking about how to change his fate. Just as Shen Buyan once did to her when she was 18, she wants to leave him, pretend that she doesn't know him so they can avoid their entire relationship from beginning at all. She knows that as soon as it does, they'll end up hurting each other.

This drama is quite symmetrical. Shen Buyan leaving Lu Yuan to protect her and Lu Yuan's decision to do the same after five years' worth of consideration are parallel:

LY: Since you clearly do not wish to leave, why can you not stay? SBY: For efforts that will not lead to any results, what is the point in forcing them?

SBY: Lady Lu! What do I need to do for you to believe me? LY: Do not follow me. If you continue, I will no longer remain so polite.

Without me, she seems to be happier.

I am afraid the more that I care about him, the more I should not reunite with him.

So over these five years, she has concluded that Shen Buyan never forgot her, but instead he had no choice but to leave when she was 18 due to the reversed timelines. So every doubt she had over the last five and previous three years has been resolved.

When we think about those first three years, she waited for nothing since there was nothing promised. But in these five years, she has something to look forward to. Unlike before, she now knows for sure that she and Shen Buyan will meet again. But unlike the next leap where she knows that it will take 10 years for Shen Buyan to return, in these five years, she doesn't know how long it will take for him to come back. Shen Buyan doesn't tell her—not this time, nor when she was 18.

However, based on experience, she can guess that since their first and second meetings both took place during the Shangsi Festival, then the next time they meet will also be on the day of the Shangsi Festival. You can imagine that in these five years, during every Shangsi Festival, Lu Yuan is hoping to see him again. Maybe she walks on the street or goes to places they've been before to wait for him. But he doesn't appear until Yuanqi Year 5.

In these five years, Lu Yuan's thought process must be incredibly complicated. She has a lot of time to think about things like, How did we meet before? Why did you appear in my life? Why did we grow so attached to each other?"

At the same time, she's in a lot of pain, as she'll recall later at 26:

Each time, I harbored expectations. Yet they were shattered every time. But still, I held a little hope.

She knows very clearly that the two of them cannot be together and that they're destined to come to an end, but she can't help it. She can't control her feelings. Or, she has no way of leaving her feelings behind.

I think that these five years are much harder for Lu Yuan to endure than the previous three. Whereas in those first three years she viewed Shen Buyan as a typical romance partner, within these five years, the most painful part is having to part ways.

When two people begin growing closer, being together is part of it, but leaving one another might be the bigger part. So when they've already experienced parting from one another, the experience of a happy reunion will brand this love of theirs into Lu Yuan's life. She'll feel more and more that fate is toying with them, that it's ensuring that the two of them will never be together. That sense of fate will push her to miss him even more intensely and await their next meeting with even more anticipation.

But alongside this expectation, she may return to Nanmeng Lake and see the wish Shen Buyan made to change her fate. At this point she'll think, I want to change your fate too. Maybe I cannot change whether or not you return, but I can change whether or not you fall in love with me. By not letting you fall in love with me, by pretending to be a stranger, I can lessen your pain.

Now when you think about their interactions when she's 26 and pretends not to recognize him, you'll discover that it's actually a very sad arc.

Yuanqi Year 5: Lu Yuan, 26 years old

When Lu Yuan is 26, the progression of the plot is that by the time Shen Buyan arrives, Lu Yuan has already decided to ignore him. But as chance would have it, Shen Buyan saves the Emperor and follows them into the palace. Li Yong begins the battle at Huofeng Fort. Shen Buyan wants to go to battle with Lu Yuan to change Lu Shi's fate. They'll assume that they've successfully prevented Lu Shi from dying, and then they'll go to Nanmeng Lake. That is when they discover Lu Shi's fate hasn't changed at all, and Lu Yuan uses the Phoenix Tablet to take the position of Empress. Together, Lu Yuan and Shen Buyan confront the enemy outside of city walls—then Lu Yuan and Yi Hua are captured to the palace. The time leap ends when Shen Buyan takes the arrowhead from Yi Hua to assassinate Li Yong.

Let's take note of some details in this third time leap. First is that Shen Buyan makes a promise to stay. At this point, Lu Yuan doesn't say anything. Take note of her expression:

SBY: I've decided. No matter how difficult it is, I will stay here and face everything with you, together.

Based on what Lu Yuan is aware of at this point, she previously heard Shen Buyan say something similar during that rainy night in the carriage. Right after he did so, he immediately disappeared—this became a very painful memory.

But now that she's hearing it again, she doesn't say anything that would point that out. You can tell why based on something she says later:

SBY: Since I have told you so much, you should tell me too. In our past, what exactly did we go through? LY: I cannot tell you that. Otherwise, once you meet the me of the past, everything you do will be too purposeful. It will not reflect your true feelings.

Then, Shen Buyan tries to assassinate Li Yong and disappears again. We know that Lu Yuan will endure 10 years of waiting.

But in these 10 years, she has something to wait for. Shen Buyan very, very clearly tells her that they'll meet again on the day of the Shangsi Festival. And within these 10 years, she will put together the events of what has happened during this leap and the previous two.

First, she'll understand why when she was 21, Shen Buyan tried to kill Li Yong immediately after arriving in the timeline. That was because right before he disappeared when she was 26, he tried to assassinate Li Yong in Lu Yuan and Yi Hua's stead. Li Yong held them as prisoners, planned Lu Shi's death, and caused the Emperor to become mentally disabled, so the first thing Shen Buyan desperately needed to do back when Lu Yuan was 21 was kill Li Yong.

Lu Yuan will remember that at the time, she rebuked him for it. That was possibly their one and only argument, but now she understands why he acted as he did. And she'll think, How ridiculous of me, that I stopped him. That I did not believe him.

Even though while she was 21, she found out why Shen Buyan wanted to kill Li Yong when she witnessed what Li Yong did to the Emperor, she didn't yet know why killing Li Yong was the very first thing Shen Buyan wanted to do. Now she does.

The second thing of note is that through this leap, she now knows how they came to love each other—more accurately, how Shen Buyan fell in love with her. She knows that the next time they meet will be a time when Shen Buyan isn't in love with her. That's because when they first meet in this leap, Shen Buyan calls her "Your Majesty." At that point, their relationship was more so him reporting his knowledge to an Empress, so there was no love to speak of.

Lu Yuan learns that the reason Shen Buyan falls in love with her during this time leap is that while Shen Buyan intended on going to take Lu Shi's place in Liuli Valley, Lu Yuan ends up taking Shen Buyan's place. That is the start of his feelings for her.

During this time leap, there's an interesting parallel that can be drawn: Lu Yuan is doing to Shen Buyan what Shen Buyan did to her when she was 18; that is, trying to end things between them. But ultimately, neither of them succeed. What provides the parallel for their shared failure are two hug scenes:

1. 26-year-old Lu Yuan obviously loves Shen Buyan very deeply, but she pretends to be distant and pretends to not know him. She keeps this up until the incident in Liuli Valley, where they come to the conclusion that they can change fate.

2. Compare the above to when Lu Yuan was 18 and Shen Buyan very clearly loved her, but still pretended that there was nothing between them and tried to leave. It was only when Lu Yuan told him that even if she had only 10 days left to live, she would still want to be with the person she loved that they reconcile with another hug.

There's something additional here that will let us see the actors and directors' attention to detail. Throughout Lu Yuan's life from when she was 18 to when she's 26, there are a total of four hug scenes:

18-years-old: Shen Buyan is full of sorrow and wants to leave. Though he embraces her, Lu Yuan is still crying:

21-years-old: There are two hugs, during both of which Lu Yuan is happy, but still visibly concerned that Shen Buyan will leave again:

26-years-old: They embrace one another and Lu Yuan believes that they have changed fate, meaning that Shen Buyan can truly stay with her. This is the only hug in which Lu Yuan is completely happy:

Let's now take a look at Lu Yuan's life between the ages of 26 and 36. Before disappearing, Shen Buyan tells her to "keep living."

I think this line has a very deep meaning. In a short period of time, Lu Yuan has witnessed the deaths of her little brother and her lover. They both die in her arms.

LY: I have already lost Lu Shi. I cannot lose you too.

For the sake of the country, she marries someone she doesn't love, yet she still becomes the hateful "Demon Empress" in everyone's eyes. If it weren't for Shen Buyan's words and his 10-year promise, if it weren't for Shen Buyan telling her to keep living, if it weren't for the thought that Shen Buyan's sacrifice won her the opportunity to end the war...it's greatly possible that Lu Yuan couldn't have lived on.

We can also feel exactly how difficult it is for Lu Yuan in these ten years. Even though she has no longer has the military support of her brother, she slowly grows while tolerating it all. She gradually forces Li Yong from a position of great power to fleeing to Beilie with the city defense map. In these ten years, she also puts her soul into raising and teaching Chu Tongchang. She must pass down all the knowledge she gained from Shen Buyan to Chu Tongchang—after all, this child is the direction and hope that Shen Buyan brought to her in this latest time leap.

In these ten years, she also walks without hesitation toward her destiny. She now understands everything about the story of her and Shen Buyan. When she thinks about all their short encounters, she will remember that even though Shen Buyan does not have memories of the times they spent together, he still has feelings for her while respecting her decisions. From the very beginning, he has been someone who will sacrifice himself to protect her—even when he didn't have feelings for her.

To Lu Yuan, someone who maintains such a pure heart at every moment and who is constantly trying to change her fate will inevitably move her over and over again. All of these beautiful yet painful memories support her lonely self and become her motivation to keep moving forward in the palace.

So although these ten years are long, Lu Yuan waits and prepares amidst her sorrow for the Shangsi Festival that she and Shen Buyan promised to each other.

Knowing that he would arrive in ten years gave me endless hope in those long days.

Yuanqi Year 15: Lu Yuan, 36 years old

36-year-old Lu Yuan meets Shen Buyan, who views her as a stranger. For answers to three of his questions, she exchanges three favors: changing his clothes, having a meal, and roaming about the festival. After a brief reunion, Lu Yuan uses the information that Shen Buyan gave her ten years prior to corner Li Yong. She blocks an arrow for Shen Buyan and ends this time leap. Out of all the time leaps, this is the shortest one, but the amount of emotion in it is the deepest and most enduring.

Let's look at these three favors. When we watch the show, we think that these are things Lu Yuan is completing based on what she always wanted to do with Shen Buyan during the Shangsi Festival. Of course, this is the first level of meaning.

We know that within the last ten years, based on the information that Shen Buyan provided her when she was 26 and his attitude toward her, she will conclude that this next meeting of theirs will be very short. Then she'll think back to the time when she didn't recognize Shen Buyan and how he treated her back then.

Lu Yuan knows that she won't have the same amount of time as he did. When Shen Buyan met her for the last time, he left behind knowledge, the konghou, and the jade. Through these, he gave her things to reminisce over during her future days of sorrow. So, she also wants to leave something for Shen Buyan.

She thinks about how in the days that she spent getting older, the one thing she kept wondering was whether Shen Buyan still loved her. Hence, she wants to find some way to tell the future Shen Buyan that in these ten years, she was constantly thinking about him.

Of course, an overly direct confession to someone who doesn't know you will only scare them. She must think of alternatives. I believe that in the three favors, aside from fulfilling her own wishes, they also contain all the things that Lu Yuan wants to tell Shen Buyan.

1. Changing clothes: These clothes are ones that Lu Yuan made for Shen Buyan when she was 18, but she was never able to give them to him. When she was 21 and they went back to Nanmeng Lake, the director took care to give a close-up of Lu Yuan packing up these same clothes.

Top: 18-year-old Lu Yuan sewing the clothes - Bottom: 21-year-old Lu Yuan packing them up

She brought them to Nanmeng Lake, so why is it that she still didn't manage to give them to him? When we think of the possibilities, we have to consider that making clothes by hand in ancient times was typically done with the intention of giving them to lovers or husbands. You can think of this as a method that women could use to more directly confess to someone within a conservative society. Lu Yuan has also always been someone to whom such rituals are important, as displayed by this scene from when she was 18:

LY: I finally have the opportunity to tell you. You still owe me one last lesson. I hope that after that lesson is complete, we can find a place with just the two of us so I can tell you.

When she was 21, even though they were together, Lu Yuan was preoccupied with how to convince the Emperor against war. Not to mention, she also thought that Shen Buyan wouldn't be leaving again. What she wanted was to give him the clothes properly, after they managed to persuade the Emperor. But we all know what happened.

I don't think that the gifting of clothes is a simple gesture. In the Classic of Poetry that she and Shen Buyan use as a code book, there's a poem called "Zhengfeng Ziyi." It talks about the feelings of a wife as she makes clothes for her husband, representing the way that women in ancient times expressed love. By finally giving Shen Buyan these clothes, Lu Yuan believes that later—when Shen Buyan will go over the Classic of Poetry with her 18-year-old self—he will then understand the silent confession of her 36-year-old self.

And when we look at her pained expression in this scene, we can imagine that from the moment she finished the clothes, she has pictured personally giving them to Shen Buyan and seeing him wear them an infinite amount of times.

SBY: How did she know my height and measurements?

2. Having a meal: We know that Lu Yuan made the food, but what I want to focus on is how the act of having a meal represents Lu Yuan's attachment to Nanmeng Lake.

Nanmeng Lake was a part of every prior story of theirs. The beginning of their story took place at Nanmeng Lake. She also requests to Chu Tongchang that she be buried there. So she really hoped that she and Shen Buyan could go back there together.

But she knows that their reunion will be very short, and she also has to remain in Jiangdu to counter Li Yong. Knowing that they can't go back, she could instead make food from Nanmeng Lake.

In the past, it was always Shen Buyan and Yi Hua who would grill fish for her. I think that over the last ten years, Lu Yuan practiced cooking this meal repeatedly. Because she knows that once Shen Buyan goes to the past, he will understand what she wanted to tell him through this meal: "Although I am in the palace, my favorite food is still that simple food from Nanmeng Lake. Although I gave up our love over and over again for the sake of my country, all I really want from the bottom of my heart is to go home with you. I wanted to do as you asked when I was 21, and settle down with you at Nanmeng Lake."

SBY: Are you willing to leave Jinghua House and Jingdu to settle down at Nanmeng Lake and stay with one another?

3. Roaming the Shangsi Festival: 21-year-old Lu Yuan's dream was to spend Shangsi Festival on the streets with Shen Buyan. 36-year-old Lu Yuan takes a willow branch to drive calamities away from Shen Buyan.

In this scene, Lu Yuan hasn't actually told him everything about this tradition. To complete her explanation, the director and writers borrow the voice of an old town crier in every successive time leap:

I wish that all of Dasheng's people may drive away calamity from themselves, and welcome the return of their beloved!

Yes, Lu Yuan only tells Shen Buyan half of the tradition. What she leaves out is also the answer to his last question:

LY: My regret is not being able to spend the Shangsi Festival with someone. SBY: Who? LY: Is that your third question? You will find out next time.

The answer is: "May you avoid calamities. I have welcomed the return of my beloved."

I think these favors form the best method that Lu Yuan can come up with that both wouldn't disturb Shen Buyan and also express all of the longing and love she has felt in these ten years.

With this, the time leaps forming the main story are effectively over. To Lu Yuan, these four encounters with Shen Buyan encapsulate all the love in her life. Each encounter was shorter than the last, and each time she had to wait longer. I think she doesn't regret meeting Shen Buyan, but she grieves that she keeps waiting longer and longer and loves him deeper and deeper, yet their periods of reunion are shorter and shorter. She laments that they never went back to Nanmeng Lake and that they couldn't say a proper farewell.

The remainder of Lu Yuan's life

The first shot after the time leaps is of Yuanqi Year 20, where Lu Yuan is hanging another wish tablet, on which she has wished to meet Shen Buyan one more time. The second shot is of 56-year-old Lu Yuan sitting atop the city gate, where she sees Shen Buyan in the last moment of her life before she jumps down.

A few details: in the scene where Lu Yuan is hanging the wish tablet, take note that like Yi Hua, she is in mourning clothes. Aside from the death of Lu Shi that occurred when she was 26, I think that when she was 36, she also started mourning for Shen Buyan. Because in her heart, Shen Buyan was her lover and husband.

Important to note is that at this time, we're still tracking the years by the Yuanqi calendar. "Yuanqi Year 20" means that Emperor Yuanqi hasn't died yet. In a time when the Emperor isn't dead, the Empress dressing in mourning clothes must have caused her to be on the receiving end of much negative sentiment.

The second detail is that Lu Yuan believes that fate has changed since she didn't die that night in the palace. In actuality, her fate hasn't changed at all. It's just that when Shen Buyan left, he didn't know that her death was fake, so from his understanding, he always thought that she died after being struck by the arrow. Maybe Lu Yuan considered that, but in all her years of waiting, she needed a reason to keep going.

The third detail is that after the time leap from when she was 36, she has waited for Shen Buyan for 20 years. Her biggest question in these 20 years must have been, "Does Shen Buyan still think of me?" She kept missing him, but she knows that it's probably only been a few months to Shen Buyan. Compared to the separation that death brings, the more distant separation comes with time. She doesn't know whether or not Shen Buyan will forget her in the time to come, or if he'll still miss her.

I tend to think that Lu Yuan never arrives at the answer to this question as she approaches the end of her life. A lot of people think that 56-year-old Lu Yuan remembers that she met Shen Buyan when she was 6. I don't think that this is logical, especially since she doesn't address these memories directly in her narration of the special episode. So I believe that she struggles with this question until she dies.

The fourth detail is with the old woman who sold the jade to Shen Buyan. Her life's duty is to give the jade to someone called Shen Buyan and tell him to hang a wish tablet. Her request for him to do so is also quite insistent.

When some viewers discovered that this old woman isn't Lu Yuan, they felt a bit disappointed. But if you think about the context of this woman being a descendant of the Chu family, it makes the story even more impactful.

We all know that Lu Yuan doesn't have any descendants, but Yi Hua, who she considers family, also doesn't. Only her adopted child Chu Tongchang does. We can deduce that Lu Yuan spends the rest of her life thinking of Shen Buyan and must repeatedly tell Chu Tongchang that the jade and the wish tablet request must to be passed down to his descendants. And we can see that this will become the most important duty of the entire Chu family. Otherwise, how could her requests survive so many years until modern-day?

The fifth detail is regarding elderly Lu Yuan and the konghou with the snapped string. My personal take on this is that when elderly Lu Yuan saw Shen Buyan when he traveled for the very first time, "I miss you" was what she wanted to tell him. At this point in time, Shen Buyan doesn't know anything. But once he experiences everything and sees that konghou with a snapped string being excavated, he will understand that the ancient love song Lu Yuan played that day and her breaking a string upon seeing him will have been her saying "I miss you" before she jumped.

SBY: I do not understand either. How about you tell me? LY: I...miss you.

When Lu Yuan leaps down from the city gate, aside from it being an act to take responsibility for all the nation's anger, it can also be considered a form of liberation. I think that after witnessing the deaths of Lu Shi and Shen Buyan, she had already considered dying, but two things kept her going: one being that she had to raise and teach Chu Tongchang, another being that she had to wait for Shen Buyan.

But in 56-year-old Lu Yuan's life, Chu Tongchang is already an adult who can handle himself. She's waited for Shen Buyan for 20 years, and he hasn't shown up. She can let go now. Yet her sincerity proves fruitful, because in her last moments, she sees Shen Buyan again.

In that scene of the rainy carriage night when Lu Yuan was 21, she said the following to Shen Buyan:

You and I have different duties. With our different duties, we walk in different directions.

Lu Yuan's duty is to end a tumultuous period and raise an emperor who will unify the nine nations. Shen Buyan's duty is to track history and restore Lu Yuan's good name.

Lu Yuan of the past never cared about the burden of the mark "Demon Empress." Shen Buyan of the past never cared about the Sheng nation's fate. With that, they were destined to move in opposite directions. But as time passes and they near the end of their lives, they have both slowly changed their previous perspectives and eventually end up on the same page.

Lu Yuan was always protecting Shen Buyan. Physically, but more so emotionally. Apart from when she was 18 and 21 and didn't know the truth of their situation, she constantly restrained herself starting at 26. She did so toward the lover of hers for 5 years, 10 years, even if it meant each reunion could possibly be the end of any beginnings.

Shen Buyan was also always protecting Lu Yuan. With a very average physique, he stood up for her in the middle of danger and revolt. During war, he was willing to take her brother's place in facing death. In the palace, he attempted to assassinate Li Yong to protect Lu Yuan and Yi Hua, buying Lu Yuan 10 years' worth of time to repair the nation of Sheng.

Aside from protecting her, Shen Buyan also respected her choices. Once he learned of 18-year-old Lu Yuan's wishes to depart for Beilie—even though he knew this was the last time he would see her—he respected her choice and said nothing but his last farewell. I think this is the true meaning of Shen Buyan's name (T/N: "Buyan" literally means "without speaking").

LY: See you again! Wait for me! You have to wait for me! SBY: See you again!

Now that we're at the end of the story, I want to interpret her line of "I have grievances, but no regrets."

She doesn't regret meeting Shen Buyan. It's in her persistence in leaving behind something for Shen Buyan before she dies.

She doesn't regret showing courage. In each short encounter she had with Shen Buyan, as an ordinary woman during a conservative time period, she still bravely expressed her own feelings. She didn't let any meeting of theirs simply slip by.

She doesn't regret that she spent her life lamenting a lost love. In the last episode, they describe that Lu Yuan was buried in Nanmeng Lake. Buried alongside her were the konghou and the sheet music for a love song. She spent her whole life performing and interpreting this ancient love.

She also doesn't regret giving up family, love, and her own life for the sake of her country.

As for her grievances, I believe we already know what those are.

#an ancient love song #古相思曲 #subs*#idk why i thought watching these videos would make me feel less sad #but here we are #not less sad #do y'all think that eventually there won't be a 30 image limit #that would help me greatly with these types of posts #TOO MANY GOOD SCREENSHOTS

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sleepingnova · 6 months

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Hollow boy

Basically, I had a nightmare last week and this was all I could think about so..yeah :) (I literally almost cried to this shit, that nightmare was so sad bro—)

wc: 1.6k lmao <3

me actually posting something? Ain't no way, but lowkey I cooked a stew with this one 🤭

Peter Benjamin Parker. Named after his wonderful uncle Ben that he adored with every fiber of his being. But, he didn’t feel like a Parker. He didn’t feel as if he deserved that name.

It’s Thanksgiving break, and as luck would have it, May is gone for the week. Some joke of a job that makes you have to go on training for an entire week, he thought. It’s quiet, way too quiet for a regular Saturday night. Last he checked, the avengers were here this weekend, claiming they all missed their favorite “spider kid”. So, then, why on earth is it so quiet?

The only other option is that he’s sleeping. Except, it’s not a peaceful sleep. It’s yet another nightmare that plagues the young spider’s mind. To which, it’s not uncommon, everyone in the avengers tower has nightmares, every single person there. So then why is it so surprising to everyone that he has them as well?

He tosses and turns in the bed that Mr. Stark so graciously let him sleep in, considering that he would buy anything Peter wanted, because he loves his kid so dearly. It’s a soft bed, extremely comfortable, feels like a giant marshmallow, so why does it feel so.. Different?

His breathing gets heavier as the seconds turn to minutes, tears slowly streaming down his face as he sleeps, but nonetheless, he still turns in his bed every 2.5 seconds.

Peter has nightmares all the time, ever since homecoming, so why is this one any different? Well, this time, it’s about Ben. After witnessing the death of the most important person in his life, he now resides in his slurred dreamlike state, wearing a crisp black and white suit, slightly stained with blood that isn’t his and stained with tears as he feels the bumpy concrete under him dig into his knees. His voice is raw, unfiltered, and full of emotions as he begs, cries, and pleads with the woman in front of him who looks like his dear aunt May, to allow him to say his final goodbye to the man in the coffin. The man who would still be alive if it weren't for Peter Benjamin parker.

He currently resides in the lucid state of sleep paralysis, his body betraying him as he lays still in his bed, coating his pillow with his flowing stream of tears. As he watches the world he knows and loves crumble to pieces, he sobs, his eyes bloodshot and puffy as he ruins the suit that he had to practically sell everything he owned to afford, he claws at the ground, with a grip so strong, he could tear the road open if he wanted to. He is scared, afraid even, and he wants to return to the real world. Away from this hellish nightmare he crawled into.

Meanwhile, the avengers are in Tony’s lab, having fun and playing cards as Tony works, focused on team bonding and fun to escape their problems. An alert pops on Tony's screen, something along the lines of the robotic voices of both Jarvis, Friday, and Karen, in unison, talking about his dear kid’s blood pressure going through the roof, at risk of a severe anxiety attack. Only problem was, Peter was asleep.

“Sir, would you like me to initiate the protocol ‘Spider-baby can’t sleep’?” Jarvis’ voice comes through the lab, the other avengers heads’ popping up at the sound of a speculated threat.

“Tones, what’s going on? You okay?” Rhodey’s voice cuts through the silence as Tony clears his throat.

“There's something wrong with Peter, I'll go check on him.” Tony replies, standing up, running a hand through his greasy hair, as he walks towards the elevator to go to Peter's floor, unbeknownst to him, the others following him like lost puppies.

Peter awakes from the state with a sharp gasp, clutching his chest so harshly that he leaves slight crescent shaped claw marks near his chest. The space around him spins, all of a sudden feeling very claustrophobic, when there’s a knock at the door.

“Son of Tony, the robotic woman has alerted friend Stark of your troubles. We have come to your aid.” Thor’s voice echoes into the room, but Peter can only hear certain parts. The room only stops spinning when he spots a shorter figure walking up to him, crouching next to him.

“Underoos. Hey, what’s going on? C’mon, talk to me, kid.” Tony reaches out to console the boy in a soft, almost condescending tone, one that Peter knows all too well.

“Mter Star- can- can breath..” Peter’s voice comes out in a hushed whisper. He’s convinced everyone in the doorway can hear how loudly and harshly his heart is beating out of his chest.

“Legolas, hit the lights, would you?” Tony whispers, waving his hand at his hard of hearing team mate.

The lights come on and Tony's heart shatters at the sight. Here in front of Tony, sits Peter, his face a bloody red, his eyes bloodshot and dilated, tears streaming down his face as the poor boy clutches his chest, small faint traces of blood leaking into his nails from how hard he’s clutching his chest.

“Pete, hey, look at me. I’m right here. Can I touch you?” He whispers, reaching his hand out, hesitating ever so slightly.

Peter scans his mentor's face, hating the way it softens as it scans Peter's face in fear.

No words come out of Peter's mouth as his ragged breathing gets worse, terrified of knowing what Mister Stark would think of him. His eyes dart around, scanning each face he sees for each individual reaction. Every single minute detail of someone’s facial expression gets taken into account.

“Come on, breathe with me. Ready? Deep breath in,” Tony takes an exaggerated breath in, the trembling teen trying his best to mimic his mentor’s actions, tears still streaming down his face as he buries his face into his hands, continuously wiping the salty tears that fall.

“Out. You’re doing great, spidey, let’s try again.” Tony’s overly calm voice rings in Peter’s ears as he eventually calms down, and yet he can’t seem to open his mouth as he stares straight past the avengers, burning a hole into the wall with his gaze.

“Hey, focus up, kid. What’s going on?” Rhodey’s hand on his back pulls him out of his thoughts, as he stares at everyone currently in his room, his face getting progressively more red in embarrassment, even though no one could tell, his face was already extremely red from sobbing his eyes out.

“It’s nothing, just a stupid dream. I really didn’t mean for this to happen, honest.” He replies, trying to blink away the burning feeling in his eyes.

“Don’t give me that crap. Come on, ‘roos, one way or another I’m gonna get the answer out of you, so just spill the beans.” Tony interjects, and Peter looks him in his eyes, looking for any sign of deception, looking away after a split second when he doesn’t see any.

“It was stupid, really. Just a dumb nightmare.” The boy mutters under his breath, too embarrassed to even speak.

“It may sound dumb to you, but I can tell you right now, every single person in this room right now, has nightmares. Each and every one of us. Yours count just as much as ours do. So, come on, lay it on us. There’s very little secrets when it comes to us. We gossip so much, it’d put the Mean Girls to shame.” Bucky argues, his last point getting a small laugh from everyone, and Steve cuts in, “Why do you think Buck and I share a room? It’s ‘cause we’re the only two strong enough to hold each other down. Our nightmares get violent, really easily.”

“It’s just.. Ben. I miss him so much. I could have saved him, I don't know, it just makes me think. If I never got bit by the spider, would Ben still be alive? I don’t know, I just think about him sometimes. It’s been almost 4 years and I still haven’t gotten over it.” Peter sniffs, his eyes glancing to his phone, looking at the strange ‘You okay?’ text from his adoring aunt May.

“Did you.. Uh.. you texted May?” He asks, to which, Tony sifts a hand through his hair.

“Oh, yeah. I didn’t really know what to do, so I texted her. To which, she told me you have these nightmares all the time. Apparently, they’re way worse at your apartment than they are here. Aunt Hottie told me you’ve gotten noise complaints from screaming?” Tony’s eyes furrow, glancing over his kid, wondering why the hell for the love of god, he can’t have a normal life.

“Yeah…the landlord said if it happens again, he’s kicking us out..haha..so..I don’t sleep. Or, well, when I do, it’s outside of the apartment. Can’t risk it.” Peter laughs airly, running a hand through his sweaty hair, scratching at his scalp. Tony makes a mental note to secretly find their landlord in an alleyway. Either that or convince May to move into the tower, there’s more than enough room for them.

“Why don’t you come down to the lab with us? We’re playing cards. Just until you feel sleepy again?” Steve suggests and Peter nods, following Steve out of the room.

The rest of them trail out of the room, simultaneously looking at each other, suggesting the same thing:

Peter needs therapy, bad. Also, his landlord better hope and pray they don't find themselves in an empty alleyway at 3 am. As Peter walks with Steve, his hand ruffling the young spider’s hair, he thinks two things.

One, how can you be a hero if you can’t save the people you love? And two, how could a man like Benjamin Parker, see something other than a pathetic, wannabe, no-good cursed boy, who kills everyone he comes into contact with, in his adoring nephew, Peter Benjamin Parker?

Peter makes a mental note to leave later that morning to visit Ben’s grave, but he can’t help but wonder if Ben would even recognize the person who is speaking to him; Peter Benjamin Parker, a hollow boy, plagued by grief.

#irondad and spiderson #peter parker angst #im so projecting rn #anyways #peter parker my beloved #so the avengers all live in stark tower together #im so delusional #lmao <3

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duhragonball · 11 months

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Dragon Ball Super manga Ch.55-58

What a bunch of grap.

Okay, so last time, Whis went to talk to the Grand Minister about Merus. Turns out Merus is an angel, just like they are, and that’s why he’s been so secretive about his abilities. The problem is that angels are forbidden from taking sides in mortal affairs. They have to be impartial in all things. Beyond this, however, there’s no restrictions on what they can and can’t do. So the Grand Minister allowed Merus to join the Galactic Patrol, since it was a way for him to learn about mortals, but he’s clearly developed a bias from his time with the organization. He hasn’t violated the rule yet, but he’s come extremely close. Whis asks permission to deal with Merus himself, and the Grand Minister allows him to proceed.

So Whis shows up at the end of Merus and Goku’s training, when they’re preparing to fight each other at full power. That’s a bridge too far. Whis has trained Goku himself, obviously, but an actual battle goes against what the angels are supposed to be about. Also, Whis knows that Merus was planning to join the battle against Moro on Earth. With the cat out of the bag, Merus agrees to go with Whis, leaving Goku on his own.

Which would be okay, except Goku has to take Merus’ ship back to Earth, and he doesn’t know how to navigate.

Meanwhile, Vegeta has completed the first stage of his training on Yardrat, and Pybara is ready to show Vegeta how to apply what he’s learned.

But before they can start, Yardrat is attacked by Moro’s scouts, led by a Zarbon knockoff. Vegeta defeats him with ease, and he’s astonished by how much his power has increased, simply from learning how to balance his body and ki in the Yardratti way.

By now, Moro’s henchmen have reached Earth, but Vegeta still refuses to go back there, since he hasn’t learned a technique that will even the odds against Moro. Pybara agrees to skip Instant Transmission and show him something more useful for this situation, but he still doesn’t have much time to work with.

Meanwhile, the Z-Fighters have prepared for Moro’s invasion... just like they did in Resurrection F. This arc is just one callback after another. I can see why fans were so hard on Toyotaro while this thing was being published. Merus seems to be the only original idea in this whole story, and we’ve just learned that he’s been forbidden from interfering, so what good is he?

Oh, and Majin Buu’s still fucking asleep. Keep in mind he fell asleep right before the Tournament of Power started, and didn’t wake up until well into this arc, and then he fell asleep again right after he fought Moro. And now it looks like he’s on track to sleep through the rest of this arc.

So Seven Three goes after Gohan and Piccolo and he uses his copy ability on both of them, so he can match their powers completely. This would seem to negate all the training they did leading up to this battle, except Seven-Three can only use one guy’s power set at a time. So he can be as powerful as Piccolo or Gohan, but he has to fight Piccolo and Gohan at the same time, and they know a bunch of combo attacks that he can’t handle.

So Seven Three uses his trump card, which is to use the powers he copied from Moro, except this time 17 and 18 join the battle, and Seven Three can’t drain their ki because they don’t have any. Well, why doesn’t Seven Three just use Moro’s other abilities? Like how he made his allies stronger, or the way he could beat the shit out of Goku and Vegeta? Moro couldn’t drain Buu’s energy either, but he beat him just fine, so why can’t Seven Three defeat 17 and 18?

Here’s a bonus comic about Frieza’s whole deal during this Moro business. He decides he’s just gonna stay out of this one. I’m so glad we wasted two pages to explain that Frieza’s not going to do anything. Maybe we could have a two page comic about how Yajirobe’s decided to sit this one out. Or a comic about Bulma’s mom staying home to water the plants.

Seriously, fuck this Moro Saga. We started with this whole bit about how Buu was the key to victory, and that went nowhere, then Merus’ dad made him quit the story early, and now Frieza’s just popping in to tell us he doesn’t give a shit. Oh, and Moro keeps holding back because he doesn’t see any of the good guys as a threat, so most of the fighting in this arc has been pointless.

So Moro’s group splits up to loot the Earth of its treasures before Moro consumes its life energy. This means the Z-Fighters have to split up and tackle the henchmen. Yamcha fights some guys, Master Roshi takes on some girl henchmen, and Tien and Chiaotzu get stuck with an Auta Magetta knockoff. His species are vulnerable to insults, but Tien doesn’t know how to dis people, so Chiaotzu does it for him. Excuse me, but Tien was insulting people all the time during the 22nd Budokai. He was a colossal dick back then. Sure, he became all polite and proper, but it’s not like he forgot how to be a raging asshole.

Finally, Moro steps in to handle things himself, and Goku shows up soon after, when he gets close enough to Earth to sense Krillin charging his ki. He prepares to fight Moro, but Moro empowers one of his goons more and more, in order to force Goku to show more of his true power.

So Goku finally obliges by using Ultra Instinct. Specifically, he uses the incomplete version he had when he first discovered the ability. Goku calls this “Ultra Instinct Sign”, like it’s some distinct thing separate from the complete version of UI. That’s like saying half a cup of coffee is the “initial stage” of a full cup of coffee.

The manga has been doing this crap all along, and I think I’m finally getting tired of it. Toyotaro really, really likes showing off all of Goku’s forms, and now there’s so many of them that it’s becoming very cumbersome to go through them all. Super Saiyan 3 and Super Saiyan God pretty much became obsolete once Super Saiyan Blue was available, but Toyotaro seems to feel obligated to cycle through all of them whether it’s justified or not. Likewise, why would Goku ever bother using “Ultra Instinct Sign” when he knows how to use full-on Ultra Instinct? This wasn’t an intermediate power-up, it was Goku discovering a power and not knowing how to use it.

Anyway, we’re about halfway through this arc, and I guess we’re officially in the final battle, so maybe things will get better from here, but I’m not optimistic. Everything that led up to this moment has been a giant waste of time.

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psychic-waffles · 1 year

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wrote a whole thing out for the dmbj discord yesterday but thought it might be useful here as well

tldr: according to the dmbj books there's probably two different things affecting hei xiazi's eyesight

1. his miscellaneous eye disease that may or may not be related to his immortality that causes him to be able to see better in the dark (he needs a tiny speck of light for it to work, it doesn't work in pitch black) and for him to be able to see other weird details in low light (the best description i’ve seen of this is in moving forward through the flowery night aka the heihua extra) this may or may not be getting worse (i'm sort of assuming he's gradually able to see less in bright light but his ""darkvision"" remains the same but that’s speculation on my part)

2. what i’m really here to talk about: there’s something making his vision fully black/fade out intermittently (regardless of external light levels) which started probably shortly before the main dmbj story, and has got significantly worse during reboot

more below the cut (contains spoilers for all of reunion book 2, and minor spoilers for the reunion drama)

caveat 1. i haven’t double checked the timeline because ~gestures at dmbj~ so some timings might be vague

caveat 2. *i can’t read chinese and any terms i’ve used are whatever terms were used in merebear’s translations, so please correct me if anything is wrong!

i’m also gonna preface all of this real quick with a couple things. Most of this info is taken from two retellings of "the strange case of the burning corpse" which you can read in full in sha hai chapter 112-115 and reboot book 2. Both times the story is told by xiao hua (mostly), and the when we first hear it in sha hai it's sort of 50/50 whether the story is true or not. When we hear it again in reboot it's a bit more substantial and is atleast probably true. (as always take any of this with a pinch of salt).

***

so the version we hear in sha hai is as follows and talks about the first time xiao hua met hei xiazi: when xiao hua was younger (either teenager or early 20s probably) and staying will granny huo there was an incident nearby where a building burnt down and 14 corpses were pulled out, 13 had drowned before being burned and were laid out in the shape of a fish, and one had burnt standing upright on the roof. The 13 drowned corpses were also found to have a strange eye disease. hei xiazi is called in by chen pi to investigate and after looking round the scene he says there should be a 15th body and proceeds to find a well with an ancient corpse in it under the building with a mirror stuck in it's chest. That night after hei xiazi had gone down into the well he starts experiencing eye problems, every time he opened his eyes he felt something pushing his neck down so he could only look at the floor (xiao hua then says that hei xaizi then blindfolded himself and lived for 6 months without his sight, but then backtracks on this so 🤷‍♂️). meanwhile granny huo finds out the 13 drowned men were loggers who dug up the ancient corpse, they all developed a weird eye disease and found a priestess* to help them, who turned out to be the corpse standing on top of the building burnt up. wu xie (who had been listening to xiao hua tell the story) then falls asleep so we don't get any more context for any of that.

***

all in all pretty weird and possibly mostly made up, however then the story gets revisited in reboot with a bunch more detail and making a bit more sense generally.

context for if you have seen the drama version of reunion: this is all tied to hei xiazi's visit to the mute village, which in the books is a stand alone story set just prior to reboot, only hei xiazi goes there and ershu etc don't follow later.

context for if you haven’t seen or read reunion: hei xiazi goes to ‘mute village’ to investigate some strange happenings related to thunder and an underground river, but while he's there he meets a mute woman called chuchu who is making a documentary about the village.

Hei Xiazi realises he knows chuchu, and figures out he saved her from a fire when she was a child, in connection to the burning corpse case.

***

so back to continue the burning corpse story where it starts up being told again in reboot: hei xiazi tracks down the priestesses daughter. he realises (due to his weird eyesight) he can see something strange on her back, maybe the same thing that was on his back before. the girl says she can do a ritual to help him with this whole case and takes him to a school where they set up an array etc. hei xiazi isn't sure if the ritual is legit or not but the info he gets from this girl is that there's an "immortal thing*" that wants to go back "below" (none of this is elaborate on). Once hei xaizi leaves the school a fire was started and he rushed back in to save some kids one of whom is chuchu (whose vocal cords were presumably damaged in the fire). when they get outside they see a burnt up corpse standing on the roof who turns out to be the priestesses daughter.

now to jump back to approximately the present where hei xiazi is running around mute village: he realises that the "immortal thing" that he'd encountered all those years ago is wrapped around chuchu's neck, over her vocal cords, and realises she was the girl from the fire and it must have latched onto her then. (note: it seems like the ""immortal thing"" goes for weak points? like the vibe i got was it went for chuchu's vocal cords cos there was already a problem there and/or they were damage from the fire?) so he decides he needs to deal with this thing once and for all. him and chuchu go into the underground river and hei xiazi tricks the "immortal thing" into leaving chuchu and going back to being on his back. his eyesight starts to black out, closing in from the edges, and he throws himself into the underground river. to make a long story short; hei xaizi is pretty fucked, mostly blind, and being attacked by evil crabs. luckily 1. whenever thunder rings out through this underground river hei xiazi’s eyesight returns briefly, and 2. xiaoge shows up out of nowhere and helps him use a mirror they find (like the one originally stuck in the ancient corpse) to potentially kill the creature on the back of hei xiazi's neck, or at the very least drive it away into the depths of the underground river.

***

so that's all context i guess, the sort of important bit is the following: after hei xiazi had the "immortal thing" on his neck last time it took 19 days for his sight to return at all, and since then his sight faded in and out on the daily (like that moment in the heihua movie). at the point of xiaoge rescuing him this time around he didn't know if his sight would return but at the point they escape the underground river he is fully 100% blind.

once again npss i would love it if you could concisely explain any of this 🙏🙏🙏 and/or atleast confirm if the story being told here is true and hei xiazi isn’t just making up some bullshit

#this was all triggered by some scenes in the heihua movie #and then me reading all of reboot in like 2 days #thank you heihua hyperfixation #dmbj #hei xiazi #hei yanjing #the lost tomb reboot #reunion the sound of the providence #tltr #heihua movie #meta #hei xiazi meta #my meta #no i have not proofread this and i have bad brainfog rn so good luck i hope this makes sense

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dduane · 2 years

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In the digital art dep’t: Smiling a bit at this...

Down in the comments on the post where Harry Callahan first appears:

Re Anson Mount: I’m assuming that’s off Harry’s hairstyle. (cheerful shrug) I can live with that. There are worse things on Earth (or other planets) than looking like Chris Pike.

Meanwhile, as for breasting boobily at things: Let’s deconstruct the problem a little. We’ll pull Mr. C. out of that background and take a closer look.

First of all: this is a Daz figure called “Dain 8”, who (after a significant amount of shopping around...) I chose to stand in for Nita’s dad.

Anyway, as usual, I made adjustments in the basic figure to match his description in the text: a bit husky, as befits his work as a florist and (because he does this kind of work too) groundskeeper: muscular guy, strongly built, skin tone of someone who spends a fair amount of time outdoors. Let’s dump the jacket for a moment.

One thing that kind of jumps out of the general physique: the pecs. They’re what’s giving that jacket so much trouble.

...Honestly, pecs seem to be a bit of a thing with a lot of Daz’s builders of male characters. There seems to be sort of a consensus: “If we can’t give them big, uh, private parts, we’ll give them big pecs.”

...Let me pull the shirts off the local major players for comparison’s sake.

Left to right: Harry, Carl Romeo, Tom Swale, Herewiss and Freelorn. ...Anyway, you see the problem. Most of these guys are moderately well pec’d up, and no matter how they stick out or don’t, every single set of those pecs has interfered with their clothes at one point or another.* At one level, this is a problem with Daz’s software.

Without getting too technical: clothing sufficiently advanced can be caused (using Daz’s dForce animation system) to drape over body contours, with greater or lesser levels of success depending on how well the clothing is constructed. As below, where Harry’s jacket has gone through the process:

But depending on clothing textures and the way the light is falling... things can get unavoidably booby. You wind up having to balance the needs of the rest of the scene—in terms of lighting and the way shadow falls—against how the clothes look. Sometimes the clothes don’t come out perfectly due to (among other things) the positioning of a character’s limbs. (I.e. the way Harry’s arms had to be positioned to be holding the pumpkin in front of him.) But trying to make them do so can cost you hours of labor which may or may not advance the project as a whole. (shrug) In a case like this, you pays your money and you takes your chances.

Meanwhile, I’m going to turn in before I start complaining about the generally crap state of men’s three-piece suits (for Carl!) on this platform... :/

ETA: per @man-and-atom‘s comment on ubiquitous definition: Well, Tom and Carl are (and gods rest them, in reality were) gym rats... as wizards in their positions have a responsibility to keep themselves better-than-usually physically fit. And Dusty and Lorn—as princes expected as a matter of course to go into battle, to satisfy their ruling families’ and realms’ political obligations—are both trained warriors from childhood; and due to being rigorously schooled in weapons- and armor-handling, are going to pick up some def no matter what they do. So... (shrug) We’ve got an image full of outliers here. Can’t be helped.

*Noting to myself that I really need to get some work done on Herewiss’s and Freelorn’s skin colors, as neither of them should look anything like as pale as they do. The problem is that it’s the figure designers who determine skin colors... and attempting to tinker with them can cause endless problems with display. (sigh) One more thing to think about...

#digital art #Daz Studio #Young Wizards #Middle Kingdoms #pecs

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herrlindemann · 1 year

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Rock Hard - September 1996

Mannheim, Capitol

Like almost all gigs of this tour, today's is sold out. No wonder, because Rammstein not only lures with a spectacular show, but also with extremely fair admission prices of around 25 marks at the box office. A number of bands, who put in much less effort but claim that it wouldn't go under 35 mice, can take an example from this!

When I enter the hall, the Farmer Boys, who are the only support act this evening, since Mink Stole also act as an opener on the partly overlapping Fu Manchu tour, have just started their gig. Despite being fairly obscure, they can excite around 50 head-bangers; the rest of the visitors give courtesy applause.

Rammstein start their gig with 'Rammstein' and the singer Till is on fire to match the lyrics. Irrespective of this almost traditional start, the guys, like on their last tour with DJ Komm, are very keen to experiment and test new songs and show gimmicks.

In addition to 'Spiel mit mir', which has been part of the set list for some time, and the rough 'Bück dich' (”...your face doesn't interest me”), there is also an audio sample of a 'man who cannot distinguish between humans and animals', which, despite the good text, still seems a bit immature. The usual fires and explosions are joined by the blowing up of a styrofoam head and Richard's hat on fire. After two blocks of encores - including the always funny Sado/Maso riding routine by keyboarder Flake and Till - the raging pack is finally satisfied. When the lights go on in the hall, not only countless "mullet superstars" ("short in front, long in back") can be seen in the audience, but also a few drunk rednecks in older Onkelz shirts.

We want to celebrate the after-show party in the outdoor pool where Break Out colleague Marco Magin works full-time as a lifeguard, but because he's so attached to his job, he doesn't want to give out the key at all. As a replacement, I'm going to Heidelberg with the two guitarists Paul and Richard and drummer Christoph to the "Swimming Pool", which isn't exactly the same, but a multi-storey club. In a good mood, various alcohols flow, so that some small technical problems of the previous show are quickly forgotten. Paul gets the new nickname Tim Thaler (Does anyone else know him?) because he no longer laughs on stage, and no longer twists his face.

On the way back to the club, I have a lengthy discussion with him about the Onkelz fans in the audience and the alleged legal bias from some quarters.

“I think it's too flat to just put a 'No Fascism' sticker on our next album, in keeping with the trend,” he sums up. “In my opinion there is no reason for that, because Till's texts are not political at all. If we caused trouble because of sexism, I would understand it, but I can't understand all this Nazi theater for the best will in the world.”

As already sufficiently explained in the interview, there are some ambivalent points on the surface, but when they are discussed in detail, they are not good enough to push the band into the right-wing camp. The experiences of this tour have emphatically proven that it doesn't belong there either. So for all notorious skeptics to write down again: Rammstein are non-political!

When we arrive at the Modernes, tour guide Tommy falls in love — with a 1950s Cadillac Fleetwood. After it turns out it belongs to a guy from local security, he won't give up until he gets the keys. He sits proudly behind the wheel and would like to buy the good piece right away. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the requested 22,000 eggs at hand right now.

Meanwhile, newly pierced F.B. guitarist Alex buys 20 red roses to send to his girlfriend; in addition to two calls a day, another token of love. Unbelievable, but true: musicians can also be on tour like this...

Mink Stole have to start their set under thankless conditions, because at 20.00 the place is still almost empty. Little by little the people pour in, but they don't seem particularly interested in the Swabians' noise rock. The introverted performance of the trio also makes it difficult for people to deal with it more intensively.

The F.B.-Lichtmann uses the possibilities of the system much better than in Mannheim and puts the farm boys in the limelight in an excellent way. They don't need to be asked twice and even animate a handful of metalheads to a small moshpit with their good performance.

Rammstein clean up completely again, but - as in the next two days - do without both the 'Mensch-Tier-Man' song and the riding performance.

Afterwards, almost the entire tour entourage ends up in a neighboring pub, where, in addition to the highly amusing courtship of two groupies, Matze's questionable alcohol level is particularly noticeable. In the end, the F.B. singer got so upset that when he got back on the bus, he missed the toilet bowl while peeing and put the whole toilet under "water". After this masterpiece, he stands helpless in front of his bunk because he has massive problems getting his duvet covered. He strenuously denies the mocking remark that his mother would otherwise have done it – but he has no proof to the contrary.

In view of the wonderful weather, Rammstein and I are drawn to the nearby outdoor pool, where singer Till, a former 1500-meter freestyle rider, shows what he's still capable of. He constantly pulls his lengths at a hellish pace, long after I ran out of breath. After this fitness training, we'll still be hanging around on the water slide before things get serious again: Till has come up with some new gimmicks for the upcoming open air events and buys big on the way back. Along with all sorts of odds and ends, he also brings two steel tubes that are supposed to make mobile rocket launchers out of his forearms.

The car park in front of the hall has meanwhile been transformed into a trend sports mecca: almost every member of the band and crew races over the generously laid-out "course" with inline skates or on a skateboard. Alex dares the most spectacular jumps, using Matze more or less voluntarily as a living obstacle. The daring, however, is the undoing of another: FB drummer Till breaks his board in the middle after a long sentence; Luckily he can clench (How nice that each of us can translate that immediately... - Red.) and avoid a serious fall.

Suddenly incredulous amazement: Rammstein guitarist Richard stands in the middle of a garbage container set up in front of the entrance and excitedly shovels around in it. What happened? The bus driver had cleaned up his vehicle and, in his overzealousness, accidentally thrown away Richard's credit card, which he had unsuspectingly left lying around among some odds and ends. To make matters worse, the rubbish was buried shortly afterwards by a few cubic meters of rubble, which made it even more difficult for you to "salvage" the valuable piece.

Luckily, after about half an hour of searching, he finds what he is looking for. Otherwise, demolition expert Till would certainly have taken action and simply blown up the contents of the container.

We spend the rest of the time until the show with Robert Rodriguez's cult flick “Desperado”; the clever tour manager Tommy got ten films from the neighboring video store for a backstage pass.

All three bands are well received in the once again very well-stocked shop, with the Depeche Mode cover version 'Never Let Me Down Again' by the Farmer Boys and all the 'Herzeleid' songs in particular being a real hit; in addition, some goths playing air guitar make for a somewhat irritating sight.

After the show, thumb scratcher Lupe stops by the FB bus and is completely enthusiastic about Rammstein, although he had considerable reservations just a short time before. In high spirits we down a few beers and witness an almost unbelievable incident: a female fan (is that the correct female form of fan, Hanno? - the author) asks the bus driver for an autograph. The latter replies that he is only the driver and not a member of the band, whereupon she throws an "it doesn't matter" at him. Needless to say, he stays with her and she never sees the band...

Because we're running out of beer, we switch to the "Kick" pub, where Rammstein also has a drink or two and visit the Dark Wave/EBM party that's taking place in the small club. Some fans have a lengthy image discussion with keyboardist Flake, whose private clothes neither match the stage outfit nor the usual fashion ideas. However, he remains defiant: "With my current appearance, I'm sure to spoil a lot in people's heads, but then maybe they'll understand that we only embody characters on stage who aren't necessarily identical to us as private people.”

In fact, this insight can't do any harm, because contrary to popular belief, the boys are anything but serious or dogged, but rather relaxed and fun-loving.

To wake up, it's back to the outdoor pool, where Paul immediately gets into a fight with the stuffy lifeguard because he's ignoring a barrier. Because the others want to eat in a restaurant, I drive back to Kufa alone with Till. We chat about the Rammstein concept, and he reveals that he intends to phase out the number with the burning arms, at least temporarily, so that it doesn't wear out too much. Too bad actually. Also, he definitely doesn't want a metal producer for the second album, so as not to be pushed too far into a corner stylistically. Let's wait and see what's in store for us...

Then the European Football Championship lures - but only Matze and me. The others are not deterred by the penetrating stench of the slaughterhouse opposite and sunbathe in the beer garden.

Tommy reports: sold out! However, the expectant good mood is suddenly clouded when the PA gives up shortly before the start of the Mink Stole show and the quickly brought in replacement system doesn't really want to harmonize with the remaining components. Despite the very modest sounds, the guys get the best reactions of the tour so far. The same applies to the Farmer Boys, who are able to inspire more and more people with increasing playing time and are even accompanied by massive calls for an encore when they leave the stage - a complete success!

Rammstein, on the other hand, have had a pitch-black day: In addition to the bad sound, they have to deal with a number of other problems such as a broken keyboard and guitars that sometimes stop playing. However, the party-loving crowd didn't let it spoil their mood and, in terms of atmosphere, gave the guys a worthy conclusion to the tour.

Accordingly, they accept the "bankruptcies, bad luck and breakdowns" performance and sit in front of the Kufa until late at night.

However, an unexpected problem arises: Till recognizes a friend of mine, who is supposed to take me to Düsseldorf with her, as an old acquaintance from Eastern times, and after more than ten years the two of course have a lot to tell each other — especially since she can hardly remember him and is completely confused... Luckily I find another ride, so that after these beautiful and eventful but exhausting days I can finally go to bed.

#Rammstein #Till Lindemann #Richard Kruspe #Flake #Paul Landers #Christoph Schneider #Farmer Boys #1996 #translation #*scans #*

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