#me & me friend okie
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some xianzhou portraits or smth
#fu xuan killed me... so many details that i got too caught up in#i shouldnt have gotten so swept up in the deets for her wehhh.. then i mightve had the energy for more of the girlies i wanted to get to#i did her way later tho so it wasnt the same groove i was in yknow 😔#jing yuan killed me bc he is oh so cute n i was squealing kicking my feet yesterday while sketching him (queer art club friends dont see t-#-his part ok yay ty)#honkai star rail#hsr#jing yuan#yanqing#hsr blade#dan heng#dan heng il#fu xuan#my art#jing yuans face kills me.... cutie patootie.. his mane so fluffy too like wuhfhhgh#jy dhil n fx my favs of this batch oki yay yippeeee
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its so weird that the one friend who has my baby pictures isn't going to be in my life anymore... like we were practically born and grew up together but times change i guess?
#everybody (she) moved on but i stayed there dust collected on my pinned up hair-#oh well nostagia is not a good mood rn#childhood friends#broken friendships#friendships#love#main aisi q hu#if youre reading tags then why i spill to you special person#basically she chose the view of a new friend about me over the actual me#it was some very disturbing stereotype but she went with the new friend#fine then bye#even though im sad im glad such a fragile friend isnt here anymore#okie bye
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ah wei,,,,,how are you 18 already,,,,,i feel like some auntie 😭 😭 'oh youve grown so much since i last saw you!!!' BUT LITERALLY HOW R U 18 NOW,,, werent u just like 14-15,,,, how time flies,,,
MY MUTUAL IN CHRIST MAE ARENT YOU THE SAME AGE I AM??????????
#WAIT HOW OLD ARE UOU???????#I THOUGHT YOU WERE AT MOST A YEAR OLDER THAN ME#also ALSKALKDKS TECHNICALLY IM ONLY 18 IN NOVEMBER 😭😭😭 my chinese ass counts by year okie its easier this way#god.... we met back in 2020.... holy shit THAT SO LONG AGO#I KNOW YOU LONGER THAN I KNOW MOST OF MY IRL FRIENDS 😭😭<3#asks#mae's asks
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#star!keri#vent art#💕♬♪ ♡☆ I just want to be your lovin' teddy bear 🌟🧸♬♪☆#im ok i just have a migraine and im overwhelmed and sad and i got triggered and augh#i miss the color pink.#this whole pic was gonna be all different shades of pink but then i couldnt do it#had to change the colors#i tried watching lars and the real girl by myself and yknow theres the whole pink room thing#im trying to associate it with barbie but god it just . feels fresh. had to turn it off#seeing my abuser twice in a short timeframe is kind of fucking me up :) hello. why do u exist and why do i have to see it.#but hey i did use SOME pink in here?? baby steps??? i feel stupid but whatever#you know pink used to be one of my favorite colors#i will get it back even if its gonna be an ugly fight the entire time#cant get into the ring and complain about getting hit. or however ryan phrases it#idk if that applies to reclaiming triggers but rahhhhh#if steven can be fine with papyrus after 15 fuckin years i can be fine with pink someday too#lars wouldnt think im stupid. i mean i'd hope not???? maybe he would. its stupid#its a really stupid trigger lol who gets scared of the color pink. me apparently#i get the fight or flight response when seeing a color or clothing or hearing phrases#i dont feel like i can function like a normal person even after a whole year#i feel like i am barely surviving and my entire life was taken away from me#and i cant do anything about it but just sit here with my heart ripped out of my chest#while my abuser is . fine. and has friends and family and support and alllll of my TF F/Os#and absolutely zero consequences for what she maliciously had done to me. okie dokie!!!!!#i feel like the last 19 months havent passed. i feel like i am not in my body sometimes#like i am a husk and someone else is controlling me but im actually dead or something#i dont feel like time is passing. idk how to explain it. i feel like my life is stolen#i feel like i am losing years of my life to trauma. like the ghost of me is left behind while the world is moving forward#everyone is present and moving but i am like... barely functioning thru flashbacks and nightmares and panic attacks#and i dont know when im ever going to fully escape the person who did this to me
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hello hello friends!! ໒꒰ྀི◜ ཅ ◝ ꒱ྀི১◞♡ i hope everybunny has been doing well!! i’m slowly but surely easing my way back into the city life so you’ll see me around more!! <33 tmrw here in the states, on 1/25, i turn 26 yrs old!! ૮꒰ྀི ∩៸៸៸∩ ꒱ྀིა & it is v nerve wracking & exciting!! & in all honesty…i am SCARED!! i feel so ill prepared & not ready!!! ໒꒰ྀིஇ﹏இ`꒱ྀི১ but tmrw is chloe day!! & i can’t wait to celebrate it w all of you!!! <33
#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals!#my lil break has been v restful & much needed :3 there’s still a TON im stressing ab tho :// but ik it’ll be okie !!!#im missin you guys so so SO MUCH!! i hope you all didn’t forget ab me!!! i have lots of stuff in the works!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১#first things first…i need a new theme ໒꒰ྀི𖦹﹏𖦹꒱ྀི১ so im gonna be lookin for stuff for that today!!#ik i have a ton of askies to get to!! i will make my way through them i PROMISE!! <333#it feels v v good to be makin my way back here ₍ᐢ.ˬ.⑅ᐢ₎ tyasm for being so patient w me <33 it means the world to me!!#well today is my last day bein 25!! EEEP!! ໒꒰ྀི ∩´﹏`∩ ꒱ྀིა i am scared but im welcoming this new age w open arms & an open heart!!! ILYASM!!#i’m not so good w bdays but knowing so many of you care ab me makes it all the more bearable ᜊ꒰ ᜊ ´ ˘꒱ ੭♡#OOO & boyfie is doin well!! he is so sweet to me & is bein v kind & nice so dw friends!! i am in good hands!! i PROMISE!! <33 okie ttyl!!
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I know you're a voltron lover ny friend so which fox would be which paladin and why?
okay so i got this ask like as soon as i woke up and i was like HUH bc i forgot about last night :'))
after some consideration, of the monsters:
Kevin would be Shiro, Neil would be Keith, Nicky would be Lance, Andrew would be Hunk, and Aaron would be Pidge. (none of these assignments has anything to do with shipping purposes. like i'm not saying neil and nicky would be klance? i just wanna make that clear?)
Anyhow you can think otherwise, i don't mind! But to me, these just make sense.... I will explain myself below.
long, sort of insane ramble under the cut. you have been warned.
Kevin is the slightly older mentor to Neil (the shiro to neil's keith) who is very traumatized by his time with a Bunch of Evil Shits and has gray hair and had his hand (arm) ruined by the enemy! He learns and grows and tries to make his team the best it can be. He never wants to stop until the ravens (galra) are defeated! He's scared bc he's far from home but he's brave as hell anyway! Braver than he should have to be, he's just in his 20s. PLEASE GIVE THIS MAN A BREAK (and also he's separated from his bf. ik kevjean isn't canon but let me make this connection anyway bc they're canon to me)
Neil is the hotheaded asshole who actually sorta wants to be friends with people but has the social skills of a raccoon who was shoved into a trash can and shaken around for, oh, ten years or so. He looks up to Kevin, wants to be like him, but knows he could NEVER fill his shoes! And he doesn't want to! He wants to help Kevin, not be Kevin. (getting the quote wrong for sure but the 'one of us should make it and i want it to be you' kinda mindset is so keith? keith literally almost died to KEEP EVERYONE SAFE!!!! LIKE NEIL'S STUPID MARTYR ASS)
Nicky is the sweet, funny one who cares deeply about everyone and who gets the least consideration from the rest no matter how he tries? (the man willingly moved away from his family (ERIK) to take care of people who don't give a shit about him (supposedly), like lance who was taken from his family to fight to save the world? like... come on.) he's unapologetic about who he is and tries to get along with everyone, for the most part. but he has no problem biting back one someone starts smth. (ie. his beef with Seth and Allison) He is misunderstood, bc while he's outgoing and friendly he also has another side that's just straight-up Traumatized. Like... he's not all jokes. He's just hiding behind them.
Andrew is is strong and is largely a Protector. People misunderstand him because of things outside of his control, by this I mean Andrew is 'evil and crazy,' but it's because of the drugs that he's on bc he was fiercely protective of his cousin. He cares about his people and wants to protect them. (Like Hunk is rightly scared and Andrew acts apathetic, but they do care. That's the important part.) I'm not saying Andrew has a secret heart of gold and he's a Sweet Lil Cinnamon Roll or all the shit people used to say about Hunk (bc let's be honest, making the fat brown character into a uwu baby is rage inducing) but he cares. OH ALSO THEY BOTH HAVE A FEAR OF HEIGHTS!!!! (or hunk did at the beginning anyhow!)
Also this is unrelated but I think Andrew would enjoy having a bayard. It could turn into lots of different knives? sign him up : )
Aaron is green. (i was gonna leave it at that to be funny but that would be mean to aaron) So... Aaron is Andrew's everyone's annoying sibling who's actually really smart but also is a dumbass at the same time. He's got ulterior motives to be there. (Aaron plays exy to get his education, Pidge is part of voltron to find her dad and brother.) And Aaron is going into the medical field which is science related, thusly... assigned green paladin by Moi.
Anyway, it just fits. I could probably go into even more detail but I'd rather be dead than discuss this show at length bc I'm not a really voltron fan. I love the characters and the first three seasons. that's where it stops for me. the rest of the show makes me wanna die. lol i couldn't even tell you what happens after s3. i've blocked it all of that shit from my memory. :')
ahhh sorry for this novel. i just apparently had a lot of thoughts. i was gonna go and do the upperclassmen as well but... this is too long and they're not my Pookies so.
(ps: sorry this is so badly formatted. i didn't feel like making it look nice :'))
#yeah i've had a fandom blog for almost 8 years yes i hate even thinking about the show. we exist (lots of us do)#i was there in the trenches man... it was insane.#that being said. i wanna say thanks to this fandom for being a little less insane. <3 i actually have friends here and i love that : )#and guys. don't send me voltron discourse. at all. i'm way too goddamn old to care about that. okie?#answered#sunriseabram#also this is unrebloggable and i will probably delete this later bc i know Someone is gonna have a problem with it bc...#well. both these fandoms suck at accepting other people's hcs and also reading comprehension :)
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got blood taken and didn't faint ✌
#3615 my life#i did cry tho lol#i told the nurse/doctor in advance i was very likely to either faint or cry#and she was very nice and understanding (and laughed when i told her lol)#in a 'haha oki let's get you on the reclined chair then'#it barely hurts and strangely it didn't feel as invasive as the times before#felt like she barely put the needle in#so i think most of the tears where from 'wow it's done let's get aaall the emotions out'#and just a little from 'foreign object under my skin'#imagine the needle as a little friend/pet/pokémon who was there to help me get better helped a lot too#(it's a basic check up to see if i have any missing vitamins or stuff)
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Uhhhh another dump and run sketch post to prove I'm alive I guess, varied subjects and quality lol see you guys in another month or so
Uhhhh probs don't have explanations that make any sense but mirror twins beloved, Sir Sean, way too many of Autumn and co., Viking besties, and modern au Antione and Mea skating cause adore them sm TvT
#sketch dump#i dont even know how to tag this sorry#just Stuff#havent really gotten anything bigger done but figured it was enough to put together in one post#autumn link#viking link#antione and mea#mirror twins#kate rambles#may private later idk love the first one a lot but akdkdkkf#and wanted to share it#but will only really make any sense to me and one other friend but maybe its looks oki enough thats fine idk ajdjfj#gonna just post and stop overthinking it ajdjfk#tw blood#only in one and not really realistic but ajdjdk#just in case
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When you’re out on a picnic, cloud gazing on a sunny day at the park, and get surprised with some raspberry blown kisses.
Gale is @duskyskye ‘s Swap Papyrus 💗
#DON’T MIND ME SELF INDULGING#…….>w>;;;;;;;#Gale just seems super snuggly and he’s notorious for blowing raspberries on unsuspecting victims….#OKIE ANYWAYS…………#my art#dusky’s oc#Gale#papyrus#swap papyrus#friend tag#a-snowpoff#papyrus with fangs#self insert#my non poff persona gasp#I’m a simp#wait…#like in general i’m a papyrus simp….#I don’t simp for Gale… no…#That is completely platonic….. this is all very platonic……..
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abstaining from tumblr until i can somehow figure out how to watch ep1 and 2 of the pjo series either without disney plus or figure out whens the best time to sneak out of my house and go to my friend's place who has disney plus and watch it there because if there is one goddamned thing i refuse to be spoiled its the resurgence of my childhood joy
#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#wish me luck yall i literally came on here to tell my friend good morning and i already got “Im sally jacksons son” so tis weary af#if anyone has any... *alternatives*... pls lemme know hehe#okie bye <3
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came out of hiding mostly just to prove a point*
was tagged by @lazysunjade and threatened by @amuhav
lock screen, home screen, last song i listened to, and last thing i screenshotted
i tag @amuhav because she scary but I LOVE U
#nonsims#jessiemisc#aboutkeibea#featuring my various battery power#im very bad at charging my phone so dont try and text me#im highly likely not to respond#*dont ask what my point is i dont wanna get attacked today#biggest sad cant tag lila anymore#she was my extra friend i mostly put down to make it look like i had lots of friends to tag#THANK U JADE EVEN IF U DID DO THIS OUT OF SPITE#i love these things#questioning whether i should post the study inspo#ignore my face in the corner#in the end i just said stuff it#okie back to that assignment due yesterday#love u guys
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how does the stupendium live knowing in 2018 they dropped the ddlc song to end all ddlc songs. sometimes i'm bored and then i literally just sing why did i say oki doki in my head and boom. hours of fun
#I WALK TO SCHOOL WITH MY BEST FRIEND SURPRISE SURPRISE SHE'S LATE AGAIN SHE'S GOT A CLUB SHE WANTS ME IN#DON'T THINK I'VE EVER RAISED A PEN#i'll CONSIDER IT sure#no fan of LITER-A-TURE#books with less PICTURES THAN WORDS#leave me a LITTLE BIT BORED....#breakdances SAYORI'S ALOOF AND KOOKY NATSUKI'S SWEET AND CUTESY YURI IS DEEP AND BROODING MONIKA'S BRAINS AND BEAUTY#IT'S ALMOST FESTIVAL TIME COULD SAY WE'RE CUTTING IT FINE#the task may seem laborious!(...i wonder where sayori is...) i guess it's just the four of uuuuuusssss!#JUST THE FOUR OF US WE CAN MAKE IT IF WE TRY BUT EACH DAY THAT PASSES BY IS TEARING PAGES FROM MY MIND#JUST THE FOUR OF US NO ESCAPING IF I TRIED THOUGH THESE MAIDENS MAY SEEM KIND THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON BEHIND...#THEY LOOKED SO SAD AND LONELY#i sold my soul for poetry...#THIS HELL IS MEMBERS ONLY; WHY DID I SAY OKI DOKI???#i'm not an ugly guy but i can't understand why#she'd be so utterly in love she'd leave her clubmates to die...#monika's obsession is ominous to be honest... omnipotent goddess concocting demonic sonnets...#i could delete her but i never could harm monika...#so i'm trapped here forever where's my harmonicaaaa? (epic harmonica solo)
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hi hi hi!!
again sorry for being dead for so long, i'm at my wit's end with my uni work and i'll probably be working on it until june. (my final exam is on 7th june omg)
have gathered some mental energy for ideas for the next drawings… and i was curious which one you'd like to see first! for now, i'll just name the protagonist for the next pieces, i don't want to spoil too much.
#reserved poll for my tumblr friends bc you are the real ones#i'll go back to work sighsigh#and yes#im very shy abt my sketches#take care of yourselves#don't be like me kids#haven't rested much in these days#okie bye#rdr2#red dead redemption#lately have been into halo reach and cassette beasts (the duality of me)
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this is me 6 in away from your face tellin you its a NEW BRIGHT & SHINY DAY!!! ૮꒰˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶꒱ა˖⁺‧₊˚ can you even BELIEVE that we’re on the earth w so many great ppl & super cool things?!? like!!! HOLY WOAH!!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ im wrkin all day but i hope to see you guys later!! i hope today is nothin but the most magical for you all!! <33
#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals!#gooooood mornie!!! im pullin back your curtains as we speak ₍ᐢ.ˬ.⑅ᐢ₎ wakey wakey!!!#my tummy = hurts :/ but that will not deter me in the SLIGHTEST from havin the best day!!!!#omg you guys i got so many new pairs of cute shorts/jeans after i donated 3 full bags of old clothes!!! :3#& omg i got the cutest pink diet coke t-shirt!!!! eeep!! so precious!!! ٩(๑>∀<๑)۶#okie friends i gotta go & wash my hair !! see you on the flip!!! ( *´꒳`*)੭⁾⁾
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oh no
#blue chatter#I thought my gender was girl+ sort of deal#like girl and an extra thing#and then ppl have been referring to me as a girl irl#and I’m halfway to correcting them with ‘no I’m not’ before I realize what I’m doing#uh oh#maybe I’ve just been feeling a way lately bc I got used to ppl gendering me correctly @ friends’ house#and now I’m home and ppl do Not always do that#was visiting my best IRL friend and one of their friends that I didn’t know well came over#and she was rly nice! but she made a couple offhand comments abt being a girl and solidarity n stuff like that#and I didn’t correct her bc I wasn’t sure if I wanted to out myself to her#but it was an internal ‘oh that’s wrong’#which is weird! I don’t know that I’ve ever cognizantly felt that before#it’s been a weird couple of days okie
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Finished my run of Mortum’s romance and.
#full spoilers in these tags here my guys#fhr#fallen hero retribution#fhr spoilers#fallen hero retribution spoilers#okay so 1. love this gal she’s so awesome and knowing she vented to her friend about our dumbass decisions makes me weirdly happy#you are so girlboss mortum#anyways 2. shes so lovey dovey and the fact she takes the time to keep you comfortable first is sooooo ❤️#her specifically getting cozy with you only after establishing you’re comfortable is so sweet of her#dont ‘bar is on the floor’ me btw because I have another piece to that in why it makes me so emotional#gonna talk about dubious consent here for a second so BIG warning okie? okie.#3. the scene after you reveal yourself as a regene to her and she asks why you had sex with her and you explain how you do things-#for humans because that’s what you were built to do meaning you acted for her desires not your own meaning she ‘pushed’ you into doing it#that was so devastating and I mean specifically for her as someone who clearly values consent a shit ton#yes you may have liked it but you did it cause you thought it would make her happy not because you wanted it like oh my god that hurts#she prolly understands regenes at least to some sort of degree shes a smart well connected woman so learning your bf is actually a regene-#has gotta have so many cogs and questions and worries shooting through her mind#you were made to serve humans you were controlled and abused by doctors like her you clearly fear her to some aspect#its heart breaking because of how much love she shows you and how much love she just has in general even as a villain#sorry yall I just can’t stop thinking about that scene like that had to have been so harrowing for her#it’s not your fault mortum you literally couldn’t have known even if you tried because our ass is so secretive#but it felt like it left off on a hopeful note#you both understand things so deeply about each other now and you can rebuild#start over and try again in a better safer way#one where you’re honest with her#AAWASG TH GFHFHFNGN it was really good it was so good#love that gal mortum so much#built out of love and vinegar she’s so awesome sauce#and with that I’ve played all the fhr2 romances#I can’t decide which romance is my favorite but I know which is my least (and it’s not my bbg mortum love ya)
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