#maybe. i do not want to get this concept in anyone else's head rn lmao
Note
It is I, anon from earlier today and I can now in confidence tell you that your fics have broken me down into nothingness.
Not only am I stupid and cannot read tags but I repeatedly let myself be comforted by your writing only to be hit with the sad truth at the end. You can’t keep getting away with this /j .Your style is so unique and I can feel the passion you have for the characters as you can see their inner turmoils on the writings. I love how you bring them to life
My personal favourite is Monologue (which is highly underrated btw). I love the dynamic between Fumi and Maki plus Fumi talking about her day made me smile so much. Then cane the gut wrenching feeling about Maki. Honestly you managed to balance the fluff with the angst out so well and I really adored it.
To conclude this annoying fan’s rambling, you are my favourite blue period writer and such a great storyteller. I know how you’ve stated that the fandom is quite inactive (cause it is) but your presence manages to be so outstanding to me. I don’t know why I was too nervous to follow now but I might as well write my letter of appreciation so it can be covered by the bots.
I hope you are able to continue doing what you love and have a great rest of day. 🙃
thanks op, kinda figured bcs i have emails from ao3 and your usernames match
personally 'monologue' is quite the lackluster for me, i wanted to use the concept, i think i wanted to make it about ytyt with yotasuke that would tell yatora about the summer festival only to reveal at the end that yatora was unconscious the whole time so yotasuke wasn't talking with anyone, i got the idea while working on 'a psychological take' (where i wrote already a summer festival so it felt unnecessary to do it again) and at the same time i wanted to write fumimaki (bcs there's literally nothing for this married couple, almost canon i'd say, more canon than ytyt), so i combined both, i was still in a phase where i wanted to kill all characters and make them suffer which i think i did a lot and now i just want to write them relax and be happy (writing depression is hard), so it's not really that original inside my head, but im glad at least someone else likes it (for me billy of tea was way more fun to think about)
tbh i've been thinking about moving on from blp for quite a few months already but i simply can't find something else to interest me the same way ytyt does, which sucks bcs if i don't write then no one will write stuff, rn i want to finish this fic i'm sorking on (i hope i get to 100k), then a oneshot about ytyt soulmates and another oneshot about miki and ayano only, then idk, i think it would be good to retire (not to be petty actually, but i did write 40% of the words in the yatoyota tag on ao3)
fandom isn't really only inactive, it is now a bit (i continuously try to collect blp fans here and on twt, the more the merrier), but i just felt ignored since the anime was airing, again maybe it was the bad timing bcs i started posting my first fic towards the end of the anime when people lost the interest bcs that adaptation is horrible, then in february yamaguchi had covid and from march to july it was complete hiatus and then the whole dj drama (which i'd lie if i said the mob mentality to drop it didn't affect me too although i was the one to uncover the doujinshis on my own weeks before it got to twitter, anyway my idea was: this isn't a piece of media i care about and i am already deeply in love with blue period so whatever, my respect for yamaguchi decreased and i got a passive aggressive attitude towards her until she posted the new year ytyt picture with bunnies this january, now i seriously don't care abt whatever else she drew - also damn i'm really side railing with this)
thanks again for your support, sorry for the long unnecessary text lmao, i have too much free time
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
so apparently vehemently believing that people can and will read your mind is a delusion !
interesting
#fuuuuuck what do i tag this as#unreality mention#delusions cw#cw delusions#unreality#maybe. i do not want to get this concept in anyone else's head rn lmao#ive been looking into this more (including that post from yesterday)#and. yeah#i am not going to do anything with this. it is an exception to a rule and i do not get other delusions#(afaik???)#but this is interesting. i am going to study it like a bug#in the times im not. you know. vehemently believing it#it's a couple times a month and its weirdly specific lmao#its essentially ''if you let anyone touch you at any moment they will be able to see your deepest darkest thoughts and they will hate you''#:')
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Leaving the Nest
Companion piece to The Family We Make (can be read in any order)
Ao3
Granny’s posture is as immaculate as always, but her knuckles grip the pan just a little too tight. To an outsider, she would seem the perfect picture of serenity, but Webby knows the tells that give her away too well.
Of course she does. Granny is Webby’s favorite person in the entire world.
Webby’s family has grown and grown over the last few years, and she wouldn’t trade that for the world. But if it came down to it, Granny is more her family than anyone else. Even the boys. Even Dad.
“Dear, I think we should talk about… the other day,” Granny trails off, awkward and lame. It would be disorienting to see Granny, normally so put-together and articulate, struggling with words. But a couple days ago, Webby saw her chained and captured, crying and beaten, forced to spill her darkest secrets and then knocked out. Manipulated. Nothing Granny does can faze her in quite the same way.
Webby takes a deep breath. “I… I think so too,” she says. “But, honestly, I don’t have anything to say. You’re my Granny.”
Granny’s shoulders slump in relief before she catches herself, her decades of SHUSH training snapping in, and she reorients herself to her ever-present poker face.
“I’m not, you know,” Granny says quietly, her voice full of shame. Webby stiffens, and glances away before Granny can see the tears pooling in her eyes. “I- I stole you from a SHUSH compound. The photos you have of your parents were a lie. Just another lie among many.”
“I don’t care,” Webby snaps, with more anger in her voice than she intended. But as soon as the words are out of her mouth, she realizes that she truly does feel that anger. Not towards Granny herself, but towards the notion that Granny isn’t her grandmother.
“You’re my grandmother,” Webby declares passionately. “I don’t care if you’re not related to me. I don’t care if I’m a clone of Dad. You stole me from a FOWL compound because you cared about me from the moment we met. You gave up your entire life and a career you’d been working towards for decades for me. You raised me. You locked yourself in the mansion to keep me safe. You’re my grandmother.”
“I’m happy to hear that, dear,” Granny says in the softest of whispers. “More than you could ever know.” Webby thinks she hears Granny’s voice catch, but she can’t be certain.
“But I lied to you, even after I promised I wouldn’t,” Granny continues, her tone more subdued. She crosses her hands in her lap, making a controlled effort to smooth them out. “You have every right to be angry with me.”
Webby reaches forward and takes her grandmother’s hand in both of hers. “I do,” she agrees. Granny’s head snaps up and she stares at Webby, eyes wide. Webby shrugs nonchalantly, shoulders loose, emulating Louie’s calculated facade of easy calm without realizing it. “But that’s not the kind of person I am, Granny.”
Webby glances away, pursuing her lips. She can’t bear to watch Granny’s face twist in pain. “I… I am frustrated that you lied to me and broke your promise,” she says slowly, haltingly, choosing her words carefully. She’s walking a thin line, basically a tightrope with no net, of expressing her feelings and not upsetting her Granny. “Just don’t do it again, please.”
Granny’s face softens. “Of course, Webby dear. No more secrets.”
She reaches out to hug Webby, and Webby obliges, but she says stiff. “That’s what you said last time,” Webby mutters into Granny’s shoulder. Her words are almost too soft to be heard, but judging by the way Granny stiffens, she does.
Granny pulls back, her hands still on Webby’s shoulders. She opens her mouth a few times, frantically searching for words, some kind of placating promise that she didn’t already break.
“You’re right. Of course,” Granny acquiesces at last, hanging her head. Strands of grey hair drip out of her bun by the pull of gravity. Webby swallows thickly, bile pooling in her throat. Granny is reacting perfectly, yet all she does is remind Webby of when they were stuck together in a dark FOWL interrogation room, a wall of pain and deception painfully thick between them.
Webby reaches out a small hand to touch Granny’s shoulder. “Granny, please,” she whispers. She’s not sure if Granny understands the true meaning behind her plea in its entirety, but she pulls herself back together nonetheless. For a few minutes, silence hangs between them. It’s not a comfortable silence, but it’s not stifling, either. It’s just… anticipatory.
“I can’t simply promise that I won’t lie to you anymore,” Granny says at last. Her voice is quiet and subdued, but honest and vulnerable. It’s open in a way Granny rarely is. “But I will do better from now on. I’ll prove my sentiments through actions, not empty promises.”
Webby smiles gratefully. It’s not her usual wide, face-splitting grin, but it’s soft and vulnerable, with layers and meaning behind it. “Thanks. I… I want to know things. About SHUSH. Classified things. The parts of my past you could never tell me, and new information, too.”
Granny’s gaze shoots away. “I-I can’t,” she replies immediately, and Webby’s heart drops. It must show in her face, because Granny’s own twists with guilt.
“I- Well- I suppose I did just promise to, didn’t I,” Granny says, half to herself, with a small chuckle. There’s little humor behind it, but it’s fond. “I will do my best, Webbigail. But please understand that there is some SHUSH information that is simply beyond my classification to give you.”
“I understand,” Webby says simply. “But the information you can give me… I want to know, Granny.”
Granny’s fists clench and unclench in her lap. Webby knows how uncomfortable and out of her depth she must feel. She protected Webby with her life for years by hiding these secrets, and it takes time to undo such habits. But she’s trying, and that’s all that Webby cares about.
“Do you remember the day I met the boys?” Webby asks, her voice lighter and more casual than she feels. There’s a pit of fear steadily growing in her stomach, but her voice is blessedly steady.
Granny’s smile is small but fond. “You snuck out,” she replies, a hint of reproach in her voice, but no malice. It’s a wound long since healed, leaving only a soft scar as a reminder that it existed at all. “You ignored my number one rule and left the mansion for the very first time.”
“Yeah, and it was new and scary,” Webby replies lightly, ignoring the jab. “But you let me go, because you knew it was for the best. Because I was growing up.”
“Because Mr. McDuck could keep you safe,” Granny adds pointedly, but she’s smiling, if a bit pained.
“Yeah, and he did! I’m fine, Granny. Besides, I can keep myself safe.”
“Tell that to the you that landed yourself in FOWL headquarters with all your allies captured and no real clue what was in store for you,” Granny quips. “My worst nightmare, come alive right in front of my eyes.”
“I’m sorry,” Webby mutters, dropping her gaze to her feet. “But hey, if you’d told me the truth, maybe I wouldn’t have been so misinformed.”
Granny dips her head. “You make a good point. I concede that one.”
“Anyway, that’s just what this is like,” Webby continues. “It’s a big change. But it’s a necessary one. I’m ready for this, Granny. You are too. And in time, this’ll feel completely normal, and we’ll have forgotten what it was like to live like we are.”
Granny is silent for a few moments. Webby glances up, nervous, only to find Granny smiling proudly, and wiping a small tear away under her glasses.
“Webby, dear, you are so wise,” she says, her voice thick. Webby’s heart clenches. “Aren’t I the one supposed to give you the deep, heartfelt talks and inspire you, and not the other way around?”
Webby gives her a small smile. “You’ve done it before, Granny. Don’t sell yourself short.”
Granny sniffles rather uncharacteristically. Without warning, she lunges forward and scoops Webby up in a tight hug. “Oh, my dear,” Granny says, her voice choked with tears. “You are just lovely, you know that? How did I ever get so lucky to have you for a granddaughter?”
“Well, it’s partly because of you,” Webby says, smiling into her grandmother’s back. “You raised me.”
Granny nods into Webby’s shoulder. “And it was lovely.”
When Granny finally pulls back, she tugs Webby back to face her, her hands on Webby’s shoulders. “You’re growing up,” she says thickly. “Oh, Webbigail, I am so proud of you.”
Webby beams at her grandmother. “I’m proud of you, too.”
“Oh,” Granny says thickly, and hugs her again.
~
HEY REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I WOULD WRITE THE CONVERSATION WITH WEBBY AND BEAKLEY WELL HERE IT IS :D (rip my poor math homework i’ll be up all night finishing that ugh)
i wrote this in like,, 45 minutes because i had to get the few sentences i was thinking about down before i forgot them and just,, kept going lmao. rip the webby & lena convo story i’ve been chipping away at that is going absolutely nowhere rn. i’ll get to it
webby and beakley’s relationship is SO important to me. beakley literally gave up everything for webby. it’s so obvious how much beakley cares about her, but also,,, they had this entire episode about trusting each other and then beakley promises not to keep any more secrets from webby and she has absolutely zero intention of keeping it. that always gets me. especially since webby is one of the most trusting characters of all time and would never doubt her grandmother of all people after they made up. i’m not salting on beakley or anything, but it’s very interesting to think about going forward since beakley will obviously try to do better, especially once the major factor keeping her quiet is gone, but she really doesn’t have a leg to stand on since she broke her promise. definitely an interesting concept we should talk about more
we talk a lot about how scrooge never apologized to webby after telling her she wasn’t family in last crash of the sunchaser and she immediately forgave him. scrooge def should’ve apologized but it’s interesting to note that webby basically can’t and won’t hold a grudge for the life of her, at least when it comes to the people she cares about (she definitely can with goldie DJDFKLSLDF). it’s sweet. i imagine beakley feels incredibly guilty after the finale but webby’s just ready to move on and to enter a new chapter of their lives where they’re completely honest and open with each other. i don’t imagine she’s not upset at the deception, but she’s not mad.
also man that interrogation scene? that probably traumatized webby. man. what a shitty situation to be in i can’t even imagine.
beakley and webby’s relationship will always mean the world to me, especially with the added context of their backstory. beakley literally saw one (1) baby and was like i’m about to end this man’s (me) whole career LMAO. it’s incredible.
#ducktales#ducktales 2017#dt17#webby vanderquack#bentina beakley#mrs beakley#dt spoilers#ducktales spoilers#the last adventure
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER
omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):
the reason(s) i was gone for so long
what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)
the status of those um . halloween requests
the future of this account
i. so . Hiatus .
i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.
a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)
tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr
ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall
when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)
at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼
media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa
tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now
iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right
i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:
there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...
i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.
regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).
tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.
iv. so what now?
well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list
and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)
as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.
ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......
and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.
tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)
the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:
im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.
there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.
regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝
love, ari 💌
#did i have an announcement tag#announcement#also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted#my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well#some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is#its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd#im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence#consider this my comeback stage
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
comet, moon, pluto, aquila, protostar
Thank You vm
Comet- What are you currently frustrated about?
lmaooo oh you know at any given time i’m weaving this rich tapestry of continual frustrations lol.....i’d say i’m in an Upswing Period of [simmering frustration levels closer to the surface] lately too lol like earlier in the week i pushed through a day or two there more casually but then it was like ah jeez here comes the malaise. more specifically today, even just before sitting down to answer this, i emerged from the bathroom to find there was a “dog has pooped inside despite having been outside within the last 10 min” shituation, which was wonderful.....annoyed from Waking by “smh at not being able to adjust my nocturnality, still frustrated about the near success of last friday being thwarted by the dead of night hammering debacle,” & regular Antagonizing Audio issues, aka being stressed by both the [loud, alarming] type sound & the [gross textural misophonia hell] type.....earlier i was like “where is the dish sponge” (still don’t know) & went to get a new, packaged one which had been in a drawer, but that one was gone too, good that there’s no pressing need to wash dishes rn i guess.....still struggling with the “well i guess i’m trying to put myself out there Socially” attempt to find relevant public discords, being generally overwhelmed as actually talking to randos in a group is A Lot & in theory it’s like well you meet someone Specific you’d enjoy talking to & branch off from there but unfortunately you can’t just skip to that step, also i do not genuinely Expect to get to that step either way, also i am not easily finding servers in the 1st place b/c it’s like, well i talk about Interests but what am i interested in? who knows. don’t do art “seriously” enough to rly wanna discuss it much, thought abt Language Learning but one i found wants you to have a verified account lmao like, no thanks. in theory i enjoy Socializing some but in practice it is sure a trial & i have not said anything to anyone anywhere yet, just a “well, not sure what else i could do here situation,” in theory take up an In Person hobby / group to make it all easier but that’s not happening. which, i was also Frustrated remembering oh right i spent a year as measured by my personal age in 1 location, both Pandemic & other [society] problems, & speaking of Interests & Hobbies not having them, i was also >:| over something having kicked in my Math Sensibilities (aka that i like math) & wondering like, would i have enjoyed getting more into math / some particular application, who knows, same but also even more so re: other things i get the sense i’m quite Into, like learning languages & ~performing arts~, which, i at least took math / math related classes into college level courses, which is not true for those other things (took a Language Class: never, took a theatre / drama class: for 1/4 of the schoolyear in 7th grade, & prior to that, just did a scene or two of a play in english class 4th grade, & the approx decade extracurricular of ballet, which is related but of course a different thing. anyhow, annoyed that i Simply Do Not Know & hardly see opportunities to find out on the horizon, although who knows.....which is related to being frustrated about [Society] some more like, thinking about “boy how different would it be if people were guaranteed the right to Essentials For Life like housing, food, medical care, both electricity & the internet Now A Days...” like, agonizing What If there, it is all so unnecessary that It Is Like This......just now someone made an unnecessary Post lmfao thank you xkit.......oh right, i was Frustrated, with an emphasis In Aro / Ace, about Media & Life, what else is new & then, you know, musings on The Theoretical Future & One’s Personal Past that would become even more of a like, audioscape: therapy session topic, these are frustrating things. and all of this answer has been stuff i remember getting Frustrated about in the past 24 hours. Also!!! that last night i was like, i want to play scrabble, so i looked up an online game but the Computer settings are a nightmare like, as far as i could tell the Difficulty settings were mostly attuned to Average Word Length but it was like, yeah you’re playing against this opponent given this effective total familiarity with the most obscure / archaic shit in the scrabble dictionary, not even simply the like, q words / two letter words ppl might happen to know specifically for the purposes of scrabble. there was also no “new game” button?? just had to refresh the page? smh. oh lmfao! also! you Know i was frustrated thinking about Billions, the series / interest that antagonizes you, jokes on you when you hone in on the Quant where it’s like, is he just meant to be the guy who sucks, plus he’s got depression....suppose they do at least handle him w/some sympathy / nonzero Care for this Char acter, but smh at sighing about [bracing yourself for anything promising (cough riawin) to spiral into disaster one way or another, whether it turns into a joke or plot device or just something introduced / built up / demolished for ambient drama/conflict].....what else is new. the periodic cycles of Billions Thoughts lol. was just frustrated at a video’s Editing Cadence basically lmfao. i also find it grating when the word “the jab” is used in tweets re: vaccination, which i just saw, presumably in the same sort of way where i automatically dislike the phrase To Be Fair or referring to food/eating with “fill / filling” or any variants lmfao, or earnest use of the description “hearty”......some words i hate the sound of no matter what, some i hate to hear used in a particular phrase / context......need to simply stop doing things in the middle of answering this b/c it will inevitably involve Frustrations lmfaooo. oh also i was annoyed to wake up to a clear sky. where’s that overcast atmosphere
Moon- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?
i am not, but i’ve been considering it! just inconvenient b/c a) i gotta like, choose what book/s to read, & b) i have to read via laptop, which is kind of a pain, & c) like with everything, i always tend to basically read stuff all at once, but i’m also a slow reader lmao, so it’s like, okay, i’m probably basically devoting days on end to Reading Through whatever.....
Pluto- If you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would you meet?
another classic Fascinating Answer of “i dunno” lol, i’ve never really had a go to answer for this or anything that’s particularly leapt out.....plus re: how i tend to feel nervous with on the spot socializing, the concept of like “if you could have dinner with someone” is too much lmfao like, a waste of time, i’d simply Be Nervous my way completely through it. the only way i could think of things is like, here i go giving someone an interview, i guess, and whomst tf would i feel Prepared to talk to lmfao. relevant to interests it’s like well of course you could ask w. roland things the in depth secret jared questions, or Any questions about quant n billions, but then it’s also like, well, there’s the questions I already have an answer for lol & either you have the same answer or i have a mini monologue, not like i don’t speak in mini monologues all the time if i have something to say at all, and my Questions go like that too lmfao, a disaster already trying to ask people about pertinent Information......never able to think of things re: people who have died, i suppose there’s fun answers re: like, getting lost / unknown Historical Info......when it comes to meeting people i don’t really consider it much in advance b/c i am nervous about everything & aware that any interacting is a Challenge lmfao. whenever these things actually happen, it’s hardly always a disaster, but i’m just improvising in the end. also, i could meet people i actually know but have never met, i.e. you, who i talk to but we are Virtual & Pandemic’d & etc & so on. but i suppose that’s kind of a given lol
Aquila- Do you prefer to read books or watch movies?
i think movies are less Involved for me, like, even if it takes me 3x their runtime (or longer) to watch any videos thanks to getting distracted & stuff, still quicker than i read a book, & unless i’m watching something for the first time and/or really wanting to properly pay attention, i can do other things while putting a movie on, whereas if i’m reading that’s the One Thing i can be doing. but overall i’m like “media, what media” whichever format lol like. haven’t consumed things, don’t often think of specific works i want/plan to consume, don’t often get around to it, etc. classique.....
Protostar- Give a random fact about yourself.
speaking of classic, me struggling to recall 101 info about myself or answer not that out there Questions, but when it’s like “alright hater what are you disgruntled about now” it’s like, Deep Inhale lmfao, but [are you okay? Is Anyone].jpeg on that one as well, we are out here......uh i’m sure i’ve said it before but i’m around 5′11″? maybe 6 ft tall but that might be overdoing it. sort of Average Tall but i am always literally looking down on people lmao.....and bumping my head into a low hanging light fixture around here.....
#nothingunrealistic1#you know that's my On Brand query lol.....the three dozen ways of annoyed i probably am / have been on any given day
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
@zukkaclawthorne tagged me, so... here we go.
Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!
1. the spark that lights the fire
this is my BABY you guys. i mean... this fic just brings me so much joy to write, and i’m incredibly attached to it. i am so proud of my wordbuilding- it might honestly be my favorite part of it. like it was so much fun getting to do research about deities and figure out how i could apply various names from canon and from the mythology/religion of different cultures to the planets and what not. also the way i incorporated momo and appa (MO-2 and APPA) makes me SO HAPPY. like it’s a tiny thing, but i am very proud that i came up with that, tbh. i know only one chapter is up so far, but i am so excited to keep posting and seeing peoples reactions to it (i might post the next chapter friday? it’s christmas though so idk. maybe the 26th? idk it’ll be out this week.)
2. flowers do not bloom without a little rain
okay this was my first ATLA fic, so it has a special place in my heart. i love the concept of this so much, and i was so surprised that it’s actually pretty popular? ummmm... yeah. i did edit the ending because i didn’t like it, but... now i love it. i always will. i love a good soulmate fic so... yeah. i got the idea for this from a pinterest post, actually, and adapted it a little bit to make it my own. but yeah, this was fun to write, even though i was nervous to post it at first.
3. just want to say how i love you with your hair down
oh jinzula... my precious rarepair.... um yeah i love this fic. i saw a tumblr post that gave me brainrot, and rather than doing a zukka fic, i decided to do a jinzula fic. i love the entire concept behind it, where azula knows she loves jin and wants to say it, but can’t because of everything that’s happened in her life. it’s a redemption fic, but it’s less about her redemption than it is her relationships after it. i really love the idea of her actually loving really easily and people continually letting her down, so i played around with that and ended up really loving it. i also wrote it in one sitting so.... brainrot. i am very proud of it, though, especially because i got to explore a character who often isn’t explored a lot, in my opinion.
4. who knew it would end like this
so tbh i hate the title of this fic. i think if i renamed it, it would be called happy accidents or something like that, because that’s really what it’s a fic about- an accident that brought two people happiness. but besides that, i love this fic. i worked on it for several months, and i’m really happy with how it turned out. i loved blending together a modern au with ba sing se and bending. and i got to write a really fun interaction between the gaang and sokka- the intervention.... that was fun to write. this is another fic that i didn’t expect to kinda... get as big as it did? i was surprised. but yeah, theatre kid zuko and engineer sokka... i am weak for them.
5. when the stars light up the room (i sit and talk to the moon)
i hadn’t really written a 5+1 fic before, so that was really fun. i love the idea of sokka talking to the moon as a way to talk to yue, and i think it would be really sweet to have zuko begin doing it, too, even though he never really met her. i also liked getting to move through different stages of their relationship without actually having to dive into their psyche (because i’m lazy, lmao). i think this is just a really sweet fic, you know? it’s not complicated or anything, but i still love it and am proud of it.
i know i already tagged you in stuff today but.... why not? anyways @zukkababey and @sokka-with-his-hair-down .... if yall want to do it.... if not that’s cool too (no pressure as always) 💖
ask anyone else who wants to do it.... my head is empty rn so i was struggling to think of frens
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Survey #308
“you don’t need treats, and you don’t need tricks, and you don’t need me.”
Middle name? Marie. Or Marie Catherine, if we're technical, but as someone who loooong left Catholicism and never even agreed with many aspects of it in the first place, I don't like to include it. If you're confused, there's a ceremony called Confirmation, and while I honestly don't even remember the details of it, you adopt the name of a saint you want to stand for, kinda. I chose Catherine just because I liked the name outta my other options.
Democrat/republican/other? I classify myself as Independent because I really don't relate well enough to either, but I do know I'm becoming more and more liberal with time.
Do you dress according to your mood? My mood? No. I dress with what I feel like wearing at that time, but my actual mood has nothing to do with it.
Are you good at doing hair/make up? No.
Are you always worried or stressed about something? 24/7, my friend.
Can you swim? Yeah.
Are you afraid of needles? I don't like them, but I'm not afraid of them.
How many kids do you want? Zero.
Long/short nails? I keep mine short.
Do you like wearing hats? No.
Does mall Santa Clauses or Easter bunnies freak you out? Nah, I loved seeing Santa as a kid. :')
Would you consider yourself clumsy? I am RIDICULOUSLY clumsy.
Do you like when a guy picks you up in his arms? In concept, but I ain't easy to pick up anymore lmao.
Do you like hairless cats? I do!! Females, anyway, for... obvious reasons lol. Not having fur makes some things waaay too ~obvious~ otherwise. I would love a sphynx.
Do you like the color yellow? No; it's actually one of my most disliked colors.
Have you ever seen a cat have a hairball? Yeah.
Have you ever had a tooth pulled? Not by a dentist, no, just by myself as a kid when I was losing my baby teeth.
When someone says don’t look do you look? It depends on why they're telling me to not look.
Have you ever played spin the bottle? No.
If you had to name three important details about you, what would you say? I'm a very emotional person, I need a lot of "me" time, and to be aware of my social anxiety so not every interaction I have is perceived as just a dumpster fire.
What are your three biggest insecurities? My creativity, my goddamn body, and my lack of social skills.
If you could write anonymous letters to three people, who would you send it to and what would you say? Ummm. I can only think of people I miss and don't WANT to be anonymous...
Favorite photo of yourself? A senior prom picture I don't have anymore. I looked so, so happy and fuck my low self-esteem, gorgeous.
Who are you disappointed with right now? I'm like, permanently disappointed in myself lol.
Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? No. My minimum is 21.
What question do you hate to answer? "Are you a virgin?" because it's just a confusing answer. It doesn't sound like one at all, but trust me on this. The subject of sex just makes me uncomfortable anyway, so even if I was confident in the answer, I wouldn't want to talk about it.
What’s your most listened to song? I don't have a way of actually finding that out, but I'd say I've been listening to "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli quite a lot lately.
If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album? I mean, I don't know. It would depend on what was going on in my life and head at the time.
If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? A nice car for Mom. She's had the same shitty car for yeeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss now because she just can't afford a new one; hell, this one was free. A dance friend hit a deer, so the front of the car is messed up, and she bought a new one, but because the car itself was still functional, she gave it to my mom. Mom is so loved at the studio. The car just has various issues by this point, like trouble starting, accelerating, it's bumpy, etc., so it's way past time for a new one.
Do you like licorice? NOOOOOOOOOO that's a big 'ole "ew."
Have you ever visited your country’s capital city? No, but I've seen it from a distance when riding up to NY.
When was the last time you were outdoors for over an hour? WOW. I couldn't even try to guess.
What is the shortest amount of time you’ve lived somewhere? The house I was born into. I actually don't know how long Mom and Dad lived there, but I was only in that house as a very little baby. I have zero memories of it.
What’s your favorite kind of mint? (Peppermint/wintergreen/spearmint/etc.) ... There's a difference? lol I guess peppermint?
What was the last thing to frustrate you? I wanted to draw yesterday, but I didn't know what to draw to even get started.
Have you ever been to a bachelor or bachelorette party? No.
Did any of your family members serve in WWII? I don't believe so? Well... maybe my grampa did? I don't remember.
What’s your favorite kind of salad? Gimme an Olive Garden salad and I will deadass eat the whole bowl.
Are you more realistic or idealistic? I'd say I'm more realistic with most things.
Are you currently borrowing something from someone? No.
Is anyone currently borrowing anything from you? No.
What is your last name’s heritage/country of origin? Ireland.
When did you last buy a new pair of shoes? What kind? I got new flipflops a year or so back because my old Rainbows were so worn out and blackened my feet.
Have you ever experienced culture shock while traveling? If so, where? No.
Are you able to see the stars at night where you live? I actually haven't checked since moving here. We're in the suburbs though, so it's questionable.
Do you include your middle initial in your signature? Not unless it's required, usually. I think. When's the last time I physically signed anything, anyway?
What brand of computer do you have? It's an Acer Nitro.
What operating system does that computer run? Windows 10.
What’s the oldest piece of clothing that you still own and wear? I don't really know, given how much my weight has fluctuated. Went drastically up, went down, now it's back up. .-. I still own a handful of shirts I want to "shrink back into" from late HS and early college times, but yeah, I don't know if I'll actually achieve that.
Is the area in which you live flat, hilly, or mountainous? Flat as my ass.
What is your significant other or best friend’s ring tone? No one on my phone has a "special" ringtone.
Where do you keep your hair brush? There's a comb I use in a drawer in the bathroom.
Which pair of shoes have you owned the longest? Multiple pairs of Converse, also from high school.
When’s the last time you were sick at the same time as someone else? I'm very happy to say I don't even recall the last time I was sick. My immune system is the fuckin GOAT.
What did you have for breakfast this morning? A pb&j. We've got very little rn, but thankfully Mom's picking up our Wal-Mart order today.
Last time you were in pain? If I'm standing, you can bet my legs hurt, so.
What color is your mom’s hair? It's growing back totally gray now.
Is that also your hair color? Well, no, I'm only 25.
Do you watch any daily vloggers on YouTube? Who? No. I watch people who vlog occasionally, but not regularly. It's gotta be people I'm very into to really be interested in vlogs.
What room of your house do you usually do your surveys in? Sigh, I'm always in my bedroom. Really hoping Mom and I muster up the motivation to clean up the extra room soon to turn it into my "dayroom" or "office," if you will.
What do you put on your tacos? I hate tacos.
What is your favorite stuffed animal and where did you get it? I have a bittersweet connection to the adorable plush meerkat Jason gave me for Valentine's our first year together; I always slept with it when we were together by apart, and for a year or so after the breakup. It was a source of comfort for me, so I'm really fond of it. Fella's fur is so worn out and matted down with age and lots of love. He's on my dresser now, towards the front of all my plushies.
Last thing you hung up on your wall? My Illidan poster, I believe.
Do you have a full length mirror? Yeah, on the back of my door.
Is it currently raining? No, finally. It's been raining for like a fuckin week, it seems like. It's finally a clear day. It's nice to hear birds outside.
Does anyone you live with talk in their sleep? Does this happen often? I'M the one doing the talking/screaming in my sleep. Thanks, nightmares.
When was the last time you cried, or felt tearful? I'm not positive, but I know I had a pretty rough PTSD night not too long ago where I teared up.
Did you wake up with a song stuck in your head today? What was it? Ohhh yes; I've been listening to Mother Mother's "Ghosting" on repeat because it's jammed up there.
When was the last time you used moisturiser or lotion of some kind? Not too long ago on my hands. They get dry this time of year, and besides, I wash my hands a lot nowadays especially.
What was the last thing you owned, that was accidentally broken or damaged? Were you able to get it fixed? My laptop, and yes.
Tell me about the last dream you recall having. Was it weird, amusing, etc. So this is pretty wild. I know I had a nightmare last night, but I don't remember it; the night before, however, I had a nightmare about a possibly rabid and ginormous rat (I mean like, smaller dog sized) in the house and trying to bite me. It was SUPER weird, because I was actually afraid of it, yet I absolutely adore rats in real life.
What was the last video you watched on YouTube? I've really gotten into John Wolfe (a let's player) lately, and I'm going through his The Evil Within playthrough.
Do your parents use any social media at all? My mom has a Facebook, and hilariously, Dad has a Snapchat to talk with my sister Nicole. He has no clue what he's doing with it and it's adorable, haha. Mom also has a Twitter, but she doesn't use it.
Is there anyone in your life who regularly asks how your day has been? Regularly, no. I've always been that person, especially in the WoW guild I'm in. I'm very close and comfortable with them and ask how everyone's doing any time I log on. Lovely people who give me some social interaction every day.
Tell me something positive about the day you've had. It's still early, but once again, it's pretty and bright outside.
Why do you prefer Facebook over MySpace, because I know you do? Ha, you'd be incorrect. MySpace was more personal, so I actually preferred it. But it's obviously long-dead, so I just settle with Facebook.
Have you read the Pretty Little Liars series? No. My sister looooves it, though.
What product do you use to moisturize your lips? I don't remember, actually... It's in my purse somewhere.
When did you start using Xanga? I never have.
Be honest, do you judge people on their appearance? Judge, I don't think so. I can make assumptions like everyone else, but I'm not gonna think someone is beneath me just by their attire.
Do you know anyone who does not like The Beatles? Me. At least, most songs. "Hey Jude" is good, but everyone agrees with that, haha.
Did you have a friend in middle school that you’re now enemies with in high school? I'm long since out of HS. I had a middle school friend who I disconnected with following a fight in high school, but we weren't "enemies," and we reunited our senior year anyway. Aaaaand we're not friends anymore once again lmao.
What is one thing you hope your children don’t inherit from you? If I hypothetically wanted kids, God knows I'd hope they wouldn't have my psychological issues.
Do you think you’ll be married in 10 years? It'd be nice, anyway.
What type of foundation do you wear? None.
Who’s the most controlling person you know? Someone I'm no longer friends with, partially because of this.
Do males look good in skinny jeans? Yep.
Are you for or against guyliner? Ugggghhhhh guyliner makes me weak in the knees.
How many jobs have you had? Where do you currently work? Three; nowhere.
Who did you last hit? Um, nobody???
What way of self-care do you enjoy the most and what feels more like an obligation? I enjoy my alone time on the computer as the best self-care, especially after being social all day; I don't, however, enjoy the act of performing hygiene care. I still do it, it's just not fun. The feeling afterwards is great, though.
Have you ever tried specific diet plans or fads? What made you do it and how did it turn out for you? I was briefly using NutriSystem, which didn't work for me. I hated too much of the food. More recently I stuck with flexible dieting and calorie counting for a while, but I drifted from it when I still lost no fucking weight in like a month. I want to get back to it, though... oh, and intermittent fasting. I don't think it really worked for me yet again, even though I did it correctly, but that and the aforementioned flexible dieting is all I feel like I can handle. I guess I just have to give it longer.
Do you know anyone who has been directly affected by COVID-19 e.g. testing positive, losing a loved one, or their job due to the pandemic? Too many people I know have had it or had someone they loved die because of it. Take this shit seriously.
Is there a kind of music you only prefer listening to during specific type of activities that you otherwise wouldn’t enjoy under normal circumstances (e.g. EDM while doing sports or instrumental music while studying, etc.)? No; I have to actually enjoy the music.
If you had to start a YouTube channel and motivations/skills/resources/any other inhibiting factors weren’t an issue, what would it be about? Either animal (preferrably reptiles) education or let's plays, ig.
Has anything ever happened to you that if you told someone about, they would think you’re making it up? I don't believe so.
What travel destination or popular spot have you been to that you found overrated? What about a lesser known place that you thought was a hidden gem? I really don't know; I haven't traveled nearly enough for this.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
And now... I introduce my best friend to Eclipse!
--0000000--
[riley’s first appearance]
Friend: who's that
mike?
(the rest of the commentary for the movie is under the readmore!)
--0000000--
[bella reciting the opening monologue: some say the world will end in fire…]
Friend: wow…drama queen
--0000000--
[Edward and bella in the meadow]
Friend: is this real or is this more of her crazy headspace
--0000000--
Edward: marry me
Bella: I have an English final
Friend: wow……. Rude
--0000000--
[Charlie grounding bella]
Friend: charlie…. is the only sane character tbh lmfao
he knows an abusive relationship when he sees one
--0000000--
[Edward sabatoges bella’s truck]
Friend: Y I K E S
A B U S I V E
this is not romantic lol
--0000000--
Renee: I just want to make sure ur making the right choices for you
Friend: she's NOT
--0000000--
[renee gives bella the quilt from all their trips]
Friend: awwww
except she's selling out her fam for bloodsuckers
--0000000--
[all the cullens wait for Victoria in the forest]
Friend: is it whatshername
the redheaded bitch
--0000000--
Friend: i'm just gonna say….alice and carlisle are the only valid vampires
Me: whyso?
Friend: idk anything about jasper and emmett, edward is weird, who else even is there
--0000000--
Me: [pauses movie because a spider has appeared by my head and I’m freaking out]
[it lands on my laptop and I scream and close it]
Ok… we can resume
Friend: what happened?
Me: [explains]
Him: ? ? ? why didn't you kill it?!
Me: killing it requires getting close enough to touch it, and that's Too Close
i don't kill spiders
anyway
Him: what?!? lmfao
you don't kill spiders
Me: killing them is too scary
Him: i'd rather kill it and know it's dead than wonder where it is
wow
me: i just scream until someone else comes to do it for me
him: that's a lot to take in
--0000000--
[jake confronting Edward about being on their territory]
Edward: I was trying to protect u by not telling u abt Victoria
Friend: mmmm yikes
bella just needs to move tf back to florida
this is….Too Much
--0000000--
[bella goes to lapush]
Friend: tbh i like his pack
--0000000--
Leah: if ur here to torture jake some more u can leave
Friend: oooooh
burn
--0000000--
[movie introduces imprinting]
Friend: tbh i think that whole concept is insane™ and i dont get it
bc it like absolves you of your own…actions
& removes the other person's choice
it's really fucking creepy
--0000000--
Friend: also it would be soooo weird to be able to read people's thoughts
Me: i know it would freak me out
i would hate being able to hear everything my packmates thought
Friend: i don't need anyone else to know how horny i am
--0000000--
[Jacob arguing with bella about the cullens]
Jacob: theyre not even alive
Friend: "they're not even alive" y i k e s
--0000000--
[riley creeping in bella’s house]
Friend: man i'd be sleepin with a shotgun lmfao
& like 12 dogs
--0000000--
[Edward yelling at bella abt bella disappearing with jake]
Me: he’s so overprotective
Friend: she needs it tho
Me: because she's such a danger magnet?
Friend: um….yeah
& she is a fucking damsel in distress
she has no power of her own :((
--0000000--
Friend: he's so…ugly
me: Edward?
Friend: yeah ……….
--0000000--
[Jake appears shirtless]
Edward: doesn’t he own a shirt
Friend: “doesn't he own a shirt"
LMFAO edward voicing my thoughts
--0000000--
[Edward kissing bella before passing her off to jake, who immediately hugs her]
Friend: the way they …. fight with each other by using her body :|
--0000000--
Friend: what do native americans think of this?
Me: [explains]
Friend: so what is the redeeming quality of these movies exactly lmfao
Me: they’re… fun?
Friend: i guess
like indiana jones
racist trash, but fun(?)
--0000000--
Me: I hate his sideburns in this movie
Friend: don't think they're that bad
his whole face tho is not great
especially pale af
--0000000--
[nonconsensual kiss scene]
Jake: ill fight until ur heart stops beating
Bella: u wont have to wait for long
Friend: YIKES
--0000000--
[Edward and Jake fighting post-punch]
Jake: she’s not sure what she wants
Friend: Y I K E S
--0000000--
[Carlisle bandaging bella]
Friend: carlisle is so hot
i wanna marry dr. carlisle
the way he medicines everyone up…
wow
[..]
edward is useless
seduce Carlisle
[..]
edward's been alive 100 years and hasn't become a doctor??? c'mon
--0000000--
[Rosalie killing her rapists]
Friend: LM FAO
love that
W O W
that's a more interesting story than bella's LMFAO
--0000000--
[Rosalie trying to convince bella to stay human]
Rose: there’s one thing you’ll want more than Edward… one thing you’ll kill for… blood
Friend: ohhh….
SHE REAL
--0000000--
Friend: & also bella's assumption that Edward is That Great
she's 18….. she hasn't even TRIED college boys
[..]
has she even had sex with anyone, ever?
--0000000--
Friend: Evil Dakota Fanning is ….. scary af
--0000000--
Friend: i'll say what i want about stephanie meyer being a fucked up mormon…. but her music taste is p good
Me: she didn’t do the soundtracks
Friend: ummm…i remember stephanie meyer specifically thanking Muse in her books
in the "acknolwedgements" section
or did you, the twilight princess, not read that part
--0000000--
[graduation party]
Friend: I feel like there should be a twilight spoof..
where a high school girl has to choose between dating a furry and a goth
bc that's what this feels like to me
--0000000--
Friend: he freaks me out
the beefy one
--0000000--
[training scene]
Friend: jasper's kinda sexy too
well, everyone looks good next to robert :|
--0000000--
[jasper’s backstory]
Friend: jasper was a confederate soldier?!?!??!
what?? lmfao
confederate vampires? thanks i hate it
--0000000--
Friend: didn't he have like a life and morals before becoming a vampire or
i mean i guess he's a confederate so maybe not but
--0000000--
[jasper’s backstory]
Friend: he just listens to her lmfao
his Evil Mexican Bruja
--0000000--
[about Victoria]
Friend: she should just make someone sexy a vampire and fuck them tho
she has the power here
--0000000--
[about Jacob]
Friend: is there a REASON he never wears a shirt?
--0000000--
[Jake trying to convince bella she has feelings for him]
Jake: you can love more than one person… like sam, Emily, and leah
Friend: thruple!
that's the only resolution here
jacob & edward need to fuck each other and get over it
there's too much tension between them
--0000000--
Alice: you and Edward will have the house to yourself tonight
Friend: oooooo
Alice: you’re welcome
Friend: LMFAO
alice is a bro
--0000000--
Bella [immediately after the scene with Alice]: hey dad, I was wondering
Friend: hey dad… i was wondering. do you have any condoms
--0000000--
Bella: dad I’m a virgin
Friend: not for long….
--0000000--
Friend: but like honestly it's all so deeply unclear to me
he has like no blood, right?
HOW does he get hard
Me: he’s always hard
Friend: i don't think that's how that works
--0000000--
[Edward and bella in edward’s room]
Bella: I wanna ask u something
Friend: "can we fuck"
--0000000--
Friend: i feel like "becoming a vampire" is just a metaphor for "losing virginity"
--0000000--
[Bella tried to jump Edward]
Edward: bella…no
Friend: ???????????
they already kiss and stuff?????????
Me: yeah
i think he's worried he'd like. fuck her to death
idk… her vulva is delicate i guess
Friend: they could do some Other Stuff
Me: yeah i know
edward is just…. too old school to understand anything but piv
Friend: fuck her to death…with his flaccid vampire dick
[..]
this is so………Weird
?????????? sex is not a sin
--0000000--
[Edward talking abt how he would have courted bella in 1918]
Friend: ???????????? i dont believe that at all
people fucked in the 1800s
edward is a fucking weirdo
[Edward starts his grand speech]
Friend: Ew
this is…. a Lot
tbh it's Not Sexy that he can't adapt to a more feminist era
[Edward proposes]
Friend: this is…… a Lot
he Keeps Asking
[bella accepts]
Friend: she's only saying yes because she's horny!!!!
--0000000--
Friend: also….tbh it's sad that these vampires have to deny their instincts and have no control over themselves
like ….maybe they should just be euthanized
Me: :O
Friend: is it fair to deny them their nature???
we don't force tigers to be vegetarians
what is the difference
Me: because… they're sentient and intellectual and can decide for themselves not to eat humans
Friend: i'm not sure i buy that
Me: you think they're not smart enough to make their own decision not to eat humans?
Friend: it seems like they have to be rehabilitated to deny a very natural instinct that they have no control over
are the cullens themselves a metaphor for mormonism?
Me: yeah but carlisle CHOSE a vegetarial lifestyle… no one forced it on him
Friend: i guess
but at what cost
lmao
--0000000--
[tent scene]
Jacob: I am hotter than u
Friend: LMFAO
--0000000--
Friend: why didn't they bring more blankets?????
how fucking cold is it
Dumbasses
--0000000--
[Edward and jake arguing over bella]
Friend: idk bella….
i'd rather fuck a hot wolf than a freezing rock hard PussyDestroying Vampire
those wolves are HUGE…. huge dicks im sure
--0000000--
[Edward talking about how he doesn’t want bella to be a vamp to jake]
Friend: i feel like they're Bonding
over their inability to control this woman lmfao
--0000000--
[jake and Edward fighting over bella]
Friend: bella is not that interesting? ? ? ?
--0000000--
Edward: if you weren’t trying to steal bella I might actually like u
Friend: wow
THIS is where they should fuck
t h r u p l e
look deep into each other's eyes
--0000000--
Friend: she'd warm up if they were having sex
--0000000--
[post tent scene]
Friend: she's not even wearing a hat rn
bella…what the fuck
--0000000--
[Edward and bella talking about being engaged, jake overhears]
Bella: it’s the 21st century
Friend: yeah, it is the 21st century…. marry them both
--0000000--
[bella asks jake to kiss her]
Friend: what the FUCK is happening
--0000000--
[bella and jake making out]
Friend: she's not even wearing anything warm
--0000000--
[battle]
Friend: carlisle…. kung fu master
Me: renaissance man
Friend: only breaks the hippocratic oath when absolutely necessary
--0000000--
[confrontation with riley and Victoria, Edward trying to convince riley to turn on Victoria]
Edward: think about it riley.. .you’re from forks… you know the area
Friend: "you're from forks… who would want that"
--0000000--
[Carlisle healing jake]
Friend: god…..my sexy, classy dad
… so smart….. so kind
--0000000--
Bella: I’m not normal
Friend: bella….you are SO normal
the reason every middle school girl read these books and thought they were like bella is bc you are just THAT normal
--0000000--
Edward: I guess we should start planning the wedding
Bella: no… something more difficult first… more dangerous
Friend: is she still talking about her virginity
#best friend movie night#eclipse#twilight#twilight renaissance#twilight saga#tts#the twilight saga#twilight revival#twilight in 2020#twilightenment#twilight: eclipse#let me know what you guys think of this format as opposed to the endless reblogging
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
rant that you can just skip over 😂 it's just detailed intrusive thoughts. and I'm continuing to rant about literally everything that goes through my brain so I am here writing this and not acting on thoughts or being stupid.
okay so this is a note from after I have written all that. and basically it's complaining and ranting about everything and hyperfixating on space and science in the end. in the middle I talk about my fears of love 😂 potentially triggering stuff? it's all nonsense you really dont have to read it. it was just to keep myself from doing something I shouldn't. so if you could be triggered by literally anything maybe dont? idk. I cant stop you but it's probably annoying and not interesting. if anyone does read it though let me know if I need to tag it anything.
So my brain has now decided that because there is no way I am sleeping tonight unless it's exhaustion, I get intrusive thoughts. fun! so rn it has been fixated on the fact that because I am closest to the outside. not hall door. that I could easily sneak out. which is very much not good idea, because 1) I dont live in this area, 2) it's still cold as fuck outside at night, 3) I would literally fucking get lost or caught immediately. So yeah :) I dont even know what I would do if I did go and I don't want to because I have an idea of what brain would say and that's a big no. it's especially big no because I'm too comfortable with the idea of it but I'm not allowed to. and I guess now it's kinda good because brain is thinking about how I miss my cat. I just wanna see my baby and be in my safe place with the people I'm actually comfortable with (cat and phone with online friends) like guys he's so fuckung adorable and what if he doesnt know why I'm not there right now. usually he sleeps in my room at night. so what if he's in my room waiting for me and I cant go see him. you're damn right that I'm crying about this. i just want my baby because he is my baby and an indicator of a safe place.
also I am so incredibly fucking uncomfortable. like I cannot sleep because 1) in a place I do not know 2) there are people (family) in the room that I am not comfortable letting my guard down around 3) there's so much noise from snoring (and from one sleep talking) 4) I am on the couch because when we go places I'm always the one who has to and it's a shitty pull out bed couch. it makes way too much noise that I have been in an uncomfortable position for over 3 hours because I dint want to disturb anyone else. and I can very easily feel like of the metal bars under the middle of my back 5) I am very cold. I forgot a blanket and I didnt get one because the room only gave us one extra one (I dont think we're supposed to have an extra person) ad my sister got it even though I'm the one by the outsid,door, window, and air conditioner which wont turn off. I at least have my flannel though to cover my legs 6) my head hurts so bad because it's the kind of headache that hurts to have eyes open, breath, or move around in general 7) my stomach hurts so bad because I had to eat because apparently people get hungry and are supposed to eat along with anxiety from literally all of this 8) I have not gotten to be alone for more than 10 minutes since the middle of Wednesday whereas usually I spend almsot all of my time alone (with cat and phone with online friends) in my safe place. 9) I have not stopped crying (not really like crying crying but like there has been tears or water from my eyes because for some reason they burn and some because of anxiety or missing cat. 10) I keep thinking that at any moment I close my eyes someone is going to break into the room or one of my family members are gonna do something (I literally dont know what, that's intrusive thoughts talking but I have previously freaked out because I thought they were gonna aliven't me for no reason) 11) When I'm somewhere I'm not used to I get really bad muscle cramps in my arms and legs and I am not having fun with that.
sorry that was a shit ton of complaining that nobody should have read or give a shit about. so sorry if anyone actually read that?
also Allison, if you actually do read this (istg you really dont have to. like I said this is just my train of thoughts written to prevent me from doing anything. I am not watching wandavision until later today 😂 and I am staying off the discord server I joined becuas of potential spoilers.
anyways continuation of rants and complaints. I really want to put the phone down and attempt to sleep even though I know I'm not gonna be able to and for that reason I have to write here because I do not trust myself with my brain being like this rn. but I wanna put phone down so bad because my eyes hurt and my head hurts from having eyes open.
and I really wanna just get my earbuds out and have controlled noise and potentially fall asleep but that would take noise louder than them to drown them out but any noise already is hurting my head and earbuds sound really uncomfortable right now.
also I'm starting to get really cold again because the flannel was working for a little but I think that was because I had to move a little bit to get it out and on my legs and I haven't been moving.
also my sister (sleep.talker) has been just making noises and mumbling all night except just now she went "eww" and rolled over and continued snoring and sleeping. so that's fun. totally didnt scare me.
oh my God it's fuckung almost 3:30 I just wanna sleep. at this rate I dont care in what way it happens, but I want sleep in the next 10 minutes so I cannot be aware of how uncomfortable or in pain I am.
my back (which usually already has back pain) connot stand to lay on the bar in this position anymore so I have to move but it's so loud and I dont wanna wake anyone up or move into a worse position but feel bad for moving.
I have now moved and I dont THINK I woken anyone up. back is better but head hurts so much more now because of movement and I am now laying on my knee which I have a lot of problems with and am not having a fun time.
idk what to talk about. I want sleep or to at least put phone down but like I said multiple times I do not trust my brain rn so I have to keep writing stuff. and I dont want to just keep complaining but idk what to talk about and complaining is easiest rn because I was out in an uncomfortable situation by coming with them and I didnt want to in the first place but would not be able to stay home.
I am now gonna talk about sleep and my thoughts about it. I like being asleep but I also dont. I like being not awake but most of the time do not like the dreams I have. but sleep itself is such an interesting concept. like the body forces itself to shut down and put you unconscious to like rest itself or repair before continuing to function. and it's like (supposed to be) on a specific or close to schedule. like youre supoosed to have a schedule for when you're unconscious. and this is completely normal. a part of our society is actually shaped around this too? like at certain times around the world it gets all dark and the world goes quiet for a while. idk I just think it's really interesting. maybe it's not idk lmao.
and now brain wants to talk about how and why I am afraid to love. :). brain is afraid to love because that means I have to be vulnerable to someone and that's just so terrifying to do, especially being someone who is different than a lot of the heteronormative society. like I absolutely love my friends. and once I'm comfortable around them, I'm gonna tell them that I love them as much as I can (but also dont want to make them uncomfortable). because if I finally feel comfortable enough around you to be vulnerable and accept that I love you despite brain's overwhelming urge to say I don't and be invulnerable and safe, I'm gonna tell you that as much as I can that I love you. because it literally happens so little in my life that I actually really trust someone. so if I tell you I love you I mean it (and it tells you I trust you). like seriously, I barely even say it to my mom because I'm so on guard and trying to watch my back around her. and I dont think I say it to the rest of my family. unless it's my grandparents I'm gonna tell them that because I think I do just in a different way of your my grandparent and you're family. and I occasionally say it to my irl best friend because there's still a lot I'm on guard about because I haven't told her a lot of things so we're not as close as you'd think. but if you're reading this I have probably told you i love you. and i know Allison i tell you as much as i can because I think yyou'rethe absolute top person that I trust and love, so i try to tell you a lot. because I love you!! you're like my entire found family 😂
but now we're gonna talk about reasons why I'm terrified to be in love romantically. Because I dont think i have actually liked someone romantically or really ever be romantically interested in anyone. I have thought about it because I felt like I had to tell myself I was ( I was not). like i thought I had a crush on someone once but I think it was because I was unable to be their friend at the time that I wanted to be their friend even more. and because I never really got to pick my friends I didnt know what it was like to actually want to be friends with someone. but thinking about someone romantically I just cant really do. because I don't want to get into a romantic relationship if I don't know if I'm gonna like them romantically at all. do people like people romantically when they first go out with someone? or do they just say I kinda like this person let's try it out? because that just doesnt make sense to me and idk. and it could very well be that I'm just to young to know yet. because I still dont even know what I would want from a romantic relationship. like... Idk what there is for me to want or what's different to loving your friends besides calling them something else? and the whole having to trust that this person likes you in a specific way that you might like them before you take it far enough and get hurt because they just don't feel the same? or you're the one that's not really sure and potentially hurt someone else? I know people say it's just a risk you're gonna have to take but I dont want to take a risk like that. I dont mind being hurt from it myself but in terrified at the thought that I could potentially hurt someone because I just dint feel a certain way. and I still dont know what the difference is between friend love or romantic love to be able to judge or risk that? like seriously what is different? because I mean, maybe affection like have someone to hug or cuddle? but you could do that with friends and it should be a normal thing to have with your friends. but ig this still is a fucked up society that thinks everything has to be more than what it really is. and it just leaves people touch starved because of it. idk. maybe one day I'll figure it out, but how it's just Greek and foreign to me. idfk.
well that was fun. now it's 4 and I need something else to talk about because even if I do potentially fall alseep soon, I do not want those to be my last thoughts and possibly have dream about it (dreams for me are typically not good).
I think I see the moon. it's either a moon or a parking lot light. and I know the moon is either full or very close to full (I'm pretty sure it's just very. close) but I wish all of those lights outside were off and possibly have a new moon so I could see the stars. I love the stars so much. i love the moon, too, but right now it's very bright. but I wish I was more into astronomy and knew more about it. because that's also something that's very interesting to me is space and the stars. I wanna be someone who knows about all of the constellations. but I have a horrible memory and absolutely would not be able to remember 88 different stories. although I'd want to. even though most of them or a bunch are just Zeus being a dick. but more to the science side of the stars is so interesting to me that they're soooooo far away. like they're literally incomprehensibly far away. like I cannot comprehend how big a football field is without see one, I'm agine being able to comprehend the distance of light years? like I know we know how far it is but I'm pretty sure human minds cannot comprehend how far that ACTUALLY is. even if we know it's a LOT. and isnt it cool how we're able to know there are other planets outside of the solar system? I believe it's 4 different planets that we know of that are MORE inhabitable than earth. like better to live on. and they have either older or stronger stars that wouldn't die out as fast as our sun. although there comes the debate of if we should be able to go to them. it's a very debatable question, but I think overall the answer would be no. because humans have fucked up an entire planet, why should we be allowed to do it to another? like it realize it's literally a percent of humans that fucked it up for the rest of the planet, but humans have an inner need to have power over everyone else and other things and would stop at nothing to get what they want. humans could so easily become corrupt and destroy other planets too. it's kind of a fucked up thing to say, but I feel like maybe humans should die out with our planet. like of course it's not fair to the ones who haven't had the chance to live a life yet. but it was never fair to the other creatures humans killed for their own needs. like we have caused extinction several times. karma will get you back in the end ig. and it would be cool to know but obviously we wouldnt be able to know, if a species even smarter than humans evolved and kept the peace on earth, even as the ruling species? ruling sounds wrong but idk what else to call it. whatever we are above everything else is what they would be. but it would be so amazing to know what smarter beings are alive or could eventually live. like that's so fucking cool.
anyways I should probably try to sleep or put phone down because now brian doesnt have time to let me do anything I shouldnt. it's 4:30 😂 someone is probably gonna wake up soon because idk.
1 note
·
View note
Text
under the cut are five plot ideas across my three muses for the event that i think would be good for their development! this isn’t at all all-inclusive of everything i’m willing to write for the event, but points of development i think they could use that could take place at the event. i’m of course willing to help develop your muse in return in any way i can! they all take place at the pool party by coincidence so... idk just message me if you wanna do one of the plots. might add more later if i get more ideas.
EDIT: okay i crossed out ones that are no longer open. THAT SAID i haven’t messaged anyone back yet so if something’s crossed out and you messaged me but haven’t heard back from me, i still want to do one of the ones you messaged me about, just haven’t gotten to confirming to you yet because we know i’m slow messaging people... hope that makes sense. will actually message y’all back soon after work xoxo
ash
ash is completely exhausted so your muse finds ash asleep in a side bedroom he’s definitely not supposed to be in (maybe they’re trying to get a breather away from the party or something) like an hour or two into the party and wakes him up on accident (or on purpose if your muse is like that)
i kinda want ash to open up to someone about how exhausted he is? he doesn’t really open up to anyone anymore and i think it’s because he doesn’t really have the energy for it and he unhealthily saves it to funnel into his music and because he knows everyone is tired, that’s a side effect of being an idol, but his exhaustion is getting pretty bad and taking a toll on his physical heath and especially his mental health now so it’d be nice if he could open up about it, preferably to someone he’s at least talked to before (and probably not a knight member? i just don’t see him being willing at all to complain to them when he sees it as all of them having the same schedule even though they don’t since ash probably does more individual activities than group activities at this point)
ok don’t @ me but ash is too tired and depressed to get some action like hana and minju but maybe he ends up talking to someone during the party and there’s some chemistry there and ash is like ‘my head hurts and i want to lay down but nothing like a good rebound right’ and anyway they end up in a position where it’s obvious they’re both anticipating something happening (like they end up back at one of their apartments or an empty bedroom at the party or something like that) but then ash is like... ok just gonna... rest my eyes for a sec... and he literally falls asleep while they’re flirting and they’re like... the fuck... is this dude ok? and they leave or sleep on the couch or something... and then we can do another thread after the party where they meet again and their connection can go a lot of different ways after that! things could be tense or awkward because they think he fell asleep because he wasn’t into them, or maybe there’s still chemistry there and they’re like ‘okay let’s redo this without this idiot falling asleep this time’ or they can laugh about it and become friends with an awkward start ! or anything else you may have in mind ! (can be someone he’s interacted with before or not)
hana
idk?? you know hana, she’s always open to hooking up with people. this is a common theme for events just like ash drinking at every event but my muses have their vices what can i say. she’s under a lot of stress rn... her main coping mechanism for any emotion is sex... so let’s develop her unhealthy coping mechanisms
hmmm... maybe late in the night someone actually expresses Concern about her (a concept) being overworked and stressed with all the films/dramas after films/dramas she’s been doing and since she’s a lil tipsy she’s actually admits like “haha yeah i’m going to go grey at 22 i’m Stressed”. would be best if this was a friend but that doesn’t need to be an already established plot we have going!
someone with a more timid/nice personality, play beer pong or some other game against hana and she winds up losing and gets like really mad and pouts about it because she was trying to take her stress out on the game and losing was like a slap in the face and then the other muse is like dude... u okay?... i’m sorry... is it that serious... what did i do... lmao
minju
an almost-hook up (ladies only)? hear me out, minju really wants to figure herself out and explore herself, but i think she’s still too insecure and inexperienced to feel comfortable having her first “experience” yet, but that’s not to say she’s not willing to sneak off and do some heavy making out with a pretty girl. maybe they both stop there or it starts to go further and minju stops it because she’s not ready yet, but i do think something like this would be good for her development! only requirement (other than ladies only) is that both muses should be sober please. also this can be a one time thing or maybe down the line as minju develops, turn into some kind of fwb thing 👀 either is valid
minju meets someone for the first time during the party and she’s a big fan so she gets nervous but then she finds out they’re wasted and a mess so she has to basically babysit them for a little bit while trying not to fangirl lmao
#if you do wanna do one... can you reply or message me which one... likes are confusing#fmdcall#&& queued
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.
In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.
DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there.
DIRK: Didn't even die once.
DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record
DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing"
DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths".
DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again.
DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake.
DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin
DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on
DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced
DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea?
DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing.
DIRK: And people let me do that.
DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it.
DAVE: oh
DAVE: i figured you knew
DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme.
DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic.
DAVE: you could always change
DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable.
DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame.
DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl
DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape
DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver.
DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny.
DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives
DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over
DAVE: i was never into it
DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up
DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger
DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol.
DIRK: ...in theory.
DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies.
DAVE: ill plan your funeral
DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want
DIRK: ...there's different kinds?
DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld
DAVE: these choices matter
DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language"
DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know
DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels.
DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch.
DAVE: probably
DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo".
DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging
DAVE: or pink tiaras
DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act
DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly
DAVE: which is weird considering
DAVE: well
DAVE: youre gay right
DIRK: Uh.
DIRK: Well.
DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I.
DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean.
DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms.
DAVE: cant say i do no
DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes.
DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up.
DAVE: so
DAVE: thats a yes
DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds
DIRK: I've never denied it.
DIRK: I'm just.
DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race.
DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge
DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that
DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes.
DAVE: but anyway
DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE
DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs
DAVE: but
DAVE: it explains some stuff
DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt
DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option
DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao]
DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me
DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me
DAVE: including that
DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through,
DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know?
DAVE: probably not
DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks
DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality
DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess
DAVE: and so like
DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense
DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it
DAVE: so i guess i was wondering
DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that
DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit
DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing
DIRK: Wait, wait, wait.
DIRK: You're coming to me.
DIRK: For advice.
DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been?
DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but.
DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper.
DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university
DAVE: where you study bird watching
DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college?
DAVE: fair
DAVE: but like
DAVE: your friends know
DAVE: how did you broach the subject there
DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore.
DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework.
DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout.
DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit
DAVE: they were chill about the first part right
DIRK: Thanks.
DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed.
DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me
DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion
DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND
DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya
DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days
DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now
DAVE: thats a thing that we have
DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table
DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john
DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that
DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me
DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush.
DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list.
DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days
DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis
DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters
DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes
DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you.
DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes
DAVE: ive been wrong about people
DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better
DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be
DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself
DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn
DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves.
DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go.
DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight.
DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately
DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest.
DAVE: haha
DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible
DAVE: thanks mom
DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior.
DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose.
DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad
DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team
DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest?
DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover.
DAVE: sure thing
DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you
DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with.
DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that.
DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister?
DAVE: yeah i guess
DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice
DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs
DIRK: Oh my god.
DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie
DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me
DIRK: Why are we like this?
DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters?
DIRK: But, that aside.
DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to.
DAVE: ill hold you to it
DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you
DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching"
DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms
DAVE: ill have your back
DIRK: Thanks.
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Have anything else for that Team Spyience au you made ages ago? Some writng or a bullet list? I crave angst.
The AU in question
Yes!! Aaaaahh i was so excited when I saw this ask because i’m so happy people still like it!! I’m definitely still thinking about it, don’t worry. The old AU hinges on the fact that FOWL doesn’t have a way into Scrooge’s company and family but uhhhh that’s not how it is now lmao. So I’ve been thinking about revamping it for a couple months now. I don’t want to do anything concrete until we know a little more about FOWL and how it works. We know who its agents are and a little bit about its goals but we really don’t know anything about its inner workings, what the Board’s dynamic is with their agents, what their dynamic is with modern SHUSH (if it even exists), etc etc. all of which are things that would probably be addressed in the Team Spyience AU! It is an AU but I’d like to build on canon as much as possible (unless there’s something that I really don’t vibe with) since it’ll be cleaner and less confusing that way. Like if I threw 2019 Team Spyience AU at you guys rn it would 1) be confusing since the FOWL structure and motives are completely different from canon and 2) be less interesting since there’s SO much potential for angst and drama with the Board, Rockerduck/Jeeves, and Gandra as part of FOWL. (and oh boy I’m so excited to work with that!!!)
(sorry for that long block of text sdfgfds i wasn’t sure how to break it up)
that being said I have built a bit of a shaky foundation for a redone Team Spyience AU for when we learn more!! and ahhh i’m so excited to share. For bullet points, here are some ideas swimming around in my head. these all could change with new information from the show or just if i think of something better tbh
so this might change when we learn more about the Board in general and the nitty-gritty of FOWL’s plans, but right now I’m thinking that the Board realizes that 1) Gyro and his ragtag band of science nerds are powerful and stubborn, and will most definitely get in the way of their plans 2) Gyro already hates the Board, and if anyone in McDuck Enterprises were to pick up on their treason, it would be him 3) They have a strong foothold for control in the company, second only to Scrooge (and even that’s debatable), but they have minimal control over Gyro and the science department. So this time around it’s less about needing to spy on Scrooge and more about wanting to control Gyro and Team Science. how that translates to “capturing them and forcing them to spy on their boss and his family” is still up in the air, but i’ll let you guys know when i figure it out! (and if you all have any ideas lmk)
we all know Gyro dislikes the Board but it’s mostly just annoyance/spite since they always shut down his inventions. Here, though, he would hate them. He would probably start like smack-talking them to everyone he can, especially Scrooge, which is his own way of trying to get them to realize the Board is evil without tipping the Board off to his treachery. Scrooge would be confused and it would be like the first crack in the Board’s carefully built facade, but it wouldn’t work for him. He probably just thinks Gyro’s being his mean self.
Huey, though... I’m pretty sure Huey’s gonna end up researching FOWL since it’s his season, and he spends enough time around Team Science to notice how off they’re all acting, without being too busy to pay it much mind (like Scrooge). so one of Gyro’s snarky remarks will tip him off, and he’ll start to view the Board with a little more suspicion each time. Until he comes to the conclusion through his research, and SHUSH resources like Beakley and Webby, that oh god that was an allusion to FOWL the Board is FOWL-
and then- wait is Gyro FOWL?? is Team Science okay?? this goes deeper than I thought-
so essentially the B-plot of this AU is Huey (with the help of the rest of the kids, but especially Webby, Boyd, and Violet) researching FOWL in the background and trying to figure out why Team Science is acting so weird lately, and there’s a lot of dramatic irony
FOWL definitely threatens Boyd to get to Gyro because I love me some quality Boyd & Gyro family content 😌
I originally thought about working a “Gyro is a former FOWL agent that got away by the skin of his teeth” aspect into the AU since I was really fond of that concept when it was a theory, but now it’s been disproven. It does make for a lot of extra drama and angst, but I don’t think it quite fits, so I might just make that an entirely separate AU. I might add some non-canon bonus content with this concept though!
The majority of Team Science’s dynamic throughout the AU stays the same - they’re all incredibly stressed and on edge and just in a really sticky situation, so they snap at each other and have a lot of petty arguments. But at the same time, they’re all in the really sticky situation together, and so they come out of this mess a whole lot closer. It’s sort of a “You’re the only ones I can be honest with without dire consequences” situation.
also re: that last point - CUDDLE PUDDLES. i’m so soft for them. i’m thinking maybe on a night when FOWL makes them all stay in the cells overnight as a punishment or smth, but they’re all in one cell, they just fall asleep all on top of each other and it’s just a really sweet moment made bittersweet by the circumstances. it’s also a testament to how far their relationship has come under pressure and how much they trust each other now.
Gyro is the only target originally (I’m thinking maybe Fenton, Manny, and Lil’ Bulb catch the Board in the act and it’s very dramatic and terrifying. i think they’re originally gonna kill Team Science, since FOWL has a very take-no-prisoners leave-no-loose-ends sort of mindset, but Gyro convinces the Board that the majority of Scrooge McDuck’s research team mysteriously dying in one fell swoop would be extremely suspicious, especially since Scrooge has an in-house former SHUSH agent. so they live, miraculously, but the Board lets all of them know in no uncertain terms that if it happens again, the other person dies. No ifs, ands, or buts. So Team Science is all very, very nervous and careful about what they let slip. They want to tell everyone, especially Scrooge, but they can’t because they care too much. (Hence Gyro making passive-aggressive comments about the Board to Scrooge.) and of course everyone else gets suspicious and resentful since they know Team Science is hiding stuff from them. so that leads to a lot of drama and arguments.
speaking of the drama and arguments from the outside, the kids are doing their own investigation, but I headcanon Della as friends with Gyro from before the Spear of Selene, and she has a budding friendship with Fenton too. So she’d notice they’re all acting really weird and bailing on all her plans, so she storms down to the lab and tries an aggressive tactic to get them to fess up. They don’t, obviously, so she goes on a little investigation of her own. I’m thinking she might drag Launchpad and Donald into it - Launchpad since he’s good friends with Team Science, and Donald because I love him and I want him involved they’re the Duck Twins and they work best together.
I have this scene floating around in my head where, in the very beginning, FOWL agents/Eggheads capture Gyro and drag him to FOWL HQ underneath Funzo’s to be briefed on his new situation. He’s stuck in one of those glass cells Launchpad and Dewey were in when Steelbeak brought them back in the Double-O-Duck episode. The Board knows he’s there, but Gyro has no clue they’re villains. So they come to the cell to brief and belittle him (let’s be honest here, they’ve never liked Gyro) and he just. He’s pissed. Spitting mad. He’s always resented the Board but never like this; never pictured them as actual powerful villains. He may be spiteful of them because they shut down his projects, but at the end of the day, they’re good guys. They’re on his side, and more importantly, Scrooge’s side. Right?
So Gyro is like, up against the glass, trying to punch them through the airholes. He’s just so fucking furious. He’s not really thinking straight and he doesn’t care about any dignity, he’s just angry. The Board is just overly smug and pleased with themselves. It’s a very stereotypical “You’ll never get away with this, you villain!!” picture, and very dramatic. And then the Board just walks away after giving him a bare-bones explanation of the situation that he doesn’t really process because he’s so mad and terrified. And they turn off all the lights and let him stew in there overnight.
Once Huey and the kids have finally put the pieces together, Webby comes to the Bin one day with Scrooge, and she goes to the meeting room to look for him. Only he’s not in there - The Board is, and they’re berating Gyro for sassing off about them to Scrooge or smth. Webby, with all her trained spy skills, hears their conversation and is able to avoid detection (although the Board is suspicious, and they start investigating to tie off any loose ends). Their conversation, though, would be suspicious to any oblivious passerby, but from all the research the kids have done, they know what’s going on.
That’s not the actual reveal - I think thematically that should go to Huey, since he’s the closest to Team Science and it’s his season. This would just chase away any last doubts the kids may have. And maybe Webby gets a voice recording as evidence? I just love those; they’re so dramatic.
this is one part that might not end up aligning with canon but I’m REALLY fond of the Akita FOWL theory. So in this AU, I’m thinking Akita was a really casual member of FOWL all along that recently got an updated agent commission. So there’s even more potential drama there, since Gyro utterly despises Akita now. And a bigger incentive to keep Boyd safe, since Gyro knows FOWL would be more than happy to program Boyd into a mindless attack robot.
in the old AU I was toying with the idea that FOWL didn’t know Fenton’s Gizmoduck until a big reveal, and it was a secret weapon of Team Science’s (but also a point for a lot of arguments, since Fenton desprately wanted to be out there protecting people at the cost of his own safety) but uhh... they definitely know now. In a bid to stop FOWL from taking control of Gizmoduck, Fenton claims the armor is out of commission and sabotages it. So Fenton’s heroics are temporarily halted while Team Science frantically tries to figure out how to keep FOWL from hacking/taking control of a new and improved Gizmosuit.
As for writing... I don’t have anything done, least of all anything for the revamped version of the AU, but I do have this wonderful writing prompt from @advisortotheadvisor that I started back in January 2019, when I was working on the old version of the AU, that I really want to do with the revamped AU. (it just fits so well ahhhh!!!)
["If you won’t do it, I’m sure your friend wouldn’t mind being in your place." + your FOWL team spyience au?]
Gyro crossed his arms across his chest, scowling to hide his fear. He’d gotten pretty good at it over these past few months.
Watching the halls was basically useless. Fowl was careful to keep Gyro and his team within the same halls, as to not be able to find their way out on their own. And Gyro knew the way to Steelbeak’s office well. He’d lost count of how many times he’d been marched here.
At least he wasn’t cuffed anymore, though he suspected it was only because the agents and their minions knew there was too much at stake for an escape attempt. It had been too long, anyway. That was an amaetur move. Even though he loathed to admit it, Gyro cared too much about the consequences - the people at stake - to even try.
It was just a well-aimed mockery. Like everything short of punishment seemed to be these days under FOWL’s watchful eye and careful thumb. Gyro scowled deeper and crossed his arms tighter and pretended in vain it didn’t bother him.
That was all he could do, really.
Okay that kind of got away from me haha. thank you so much for the ask!! It means a lot to me that people are still interested in this AU. definitely motivation to work on both the AU and that fic haha!! I’ll talk more abt this soon when I have more info/content
#*screams* I LOVE THIS AU#this ask got me thinking more deeply about it... and that one fic...#my asks#anons#ducktales#team spyience au#ducktales 2017#dt17#gyro gearloose#fenton crackshell-cabrera#manny the headless manhorse#lil bulb#huey duck#webby vanderquack#scrooge mcduck#boyd gearloose#wavey writes
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tagged by @vicious-rhythm and currently procrastinating lmao I’ll taaaaag @zaflikescreepydolls and i tagged smols lower down but @smols-darklighter and @jedisansa and anyone else who wants to do it? I’m bad at remembering who i usually tag and who likes these but ur all invited lol name- James nickname- Jamie but its use is..... suuuuper limited lol. some people on here will call me J or Gatsby gender- man star sign- Leo and it shows (i think i’m a double leo? i think. i’m not sure) height- 5′9” don’t measure it just trust me time- 6:16 pm bday- august fav bands- i don’t have Favorite Bands i’m not that good at picking music but just by virtue of representation in my spotify library, Civil Wars, the Killers, and Noah and the Whale. Doghouse Roses always does me right too fav solo artist(s)- again going by spotify library... Marina and the Diamonds for sure, and Johnny Cash and Regina Spektor, apparently song stuck in my head- Be My Forever by Christina Perri last movie i watched- the 1995 Sense and Sensibility last show i watched- I guess the Late Show? I haven’t watched a lot of tv I just watch late night comedy talk show clips on youtube when did i create my blog-2013 i think? last thing i googled- Lai du Lanval (i was summarizing it for Gee and I wanted to double check plot elements cause I read it two years ago) do i have another blog- nah, I barely have this one since I deleted the tumblr app off my phone do i get asks- occasionally why i chose my url- The Great Gatsby was one of my favorite books in high school and when i changed my url I was going by J bc I’m a transmasc person whose deadname started with J and going by J/Jay is pretty much a legal requirement of the transition process when u meet those criteria following- liiiike 700-800? idk i haven’t checked followers- i think almost 1400 avg hours of sleep- i’m super charmed by the implication that i have something resembling a sleep schedule lucky number(s)- 7, 21 instruments- i was That Kid who started piano lessons at like 4 and then I played the trumpet in marching band for like 7 or 8 years but i was also in choir so i sing too and then like a year ago i started learning guitar in earnest for funsies what am i wearing- jeans t shirt flannel and my “I overslept and didn’t have time to make my hair presentable so i’m hiding it” knit hat dream job- i’d either want to work in YA publishing as an editor or I’d want to be a teacher. part of me is enamored every once in a while with the concept of doing academia but that’s a Lot of school and idk how well suited i am to it dream trip- my mother is big into traveling so I’ve been so many places there’s not really many left I’m raring to go. I guess Ireland, just cause I’ve never been? Maybe I’d like to do Italy properly, or Greece, bc my brother went with our mom and he said it was great but would have been a thousand times better without her (she’s terrible to travel with, ironically) fav food- mac n cheese nationality - i’m from texas fav song right now- Tam Lin by Mediaeval Baebes (thanks @smols-darklighter) sexuality- bi hogwarts house- slytherin fav animals- i love all gods creatures but dogs give the kind of love i need. my favorite individual animal is Gee’s cat. dog or cat person- globally dogs just bc cats’ needs and limitations on interaction are complex and i prefer dogs for being clingy blankets you sleep with- three why you got a blog- all my friends had one lol top (3) fav characters- Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Link from Zelda no. of posts- like 78k pokemon team- ...the yellow one? fav color- green relationship status- It’s Complicated/pining lip- or chapstick- i’m a man so chapstick. also i like having soft lips last song i listened to- Anyhow... by Tyler Lyle (the ellipses are part of the song title i swear) top (3) shows- again i don’t watch much TV so Avengers Assemble, Parks and Rec, and Brooklyn Nine Nine top (3) ships- stevetony, i’m back into a couple Tamora Pierce ships rn, and reylo just cause i technically still haven’t finished my valentines anthology piece lol books i’m reading- Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen for school, and re-reading the Girl of Fire and Thorns trilogy by Rae Carson for fun
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
throwing out some random numbers: 2, 23, 27, 39, 53, 58, 64, 76, 89
that’s the spirit tyvm.....you don’t know what these numbers will give me, idk what i’ll get from them, we’re just gonna see where it goes together
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
this time i’ll cape for lollipops. they can be fun colors! you can hold the stick in your mouth as something to fidget with.....Fruit Flavor....
23. strange habits?
hmm i mean [autistic behavior] which would seem ~strange~ but only from that certain perspective.......i think One Weird Trick i do is from this nightmare time when like, one semester in college i guess uhhh that was wow a decade ago lmao i had 8 am classes every day for 2 semesters and my roommate and i were night owls so i’d (generally) go to bed earlier and i got in the habit of like, covering my head (or the top half anyways) with like a robe or towel or whatever to block out the light. makeshift sleep mask basically. except i’ve slept like that ever since and it feels weird to Not do so. and i doubt an Actual sleep mask would cut it cuz it’s partially the weight thing. i can only imagine how fun a weighted blanket is lol
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
going tf inside!!!!!!! cold weather is garbage. although once i did go ice skating and reasonably enjoyed it. i like skating
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
i don’t like pie very much lmao i think the Crust is generally disappointing and i’m not big on the fillings. that said, lemon meringue is a Superior Pie and i’ve made it probably at least a dozen times, it’s pretty fun i think. but still the answer is lemon cake. lemon cake is amazing. cake is amazing. no contest between like, do i want some Amazing fancy pie? or do i want this $1.50 cake mix? i would probably want the cake. or i’d at least have to take a moment to think about it even if going with the pie cuz yeah some pie Is good and u can’t quite get the same flavors in a cake, like rhubarb. i don’t know that rhubarb cake exists. but lemon cake is great. lemon Pound cake hell fucking yes Please
53. what is the current state of your hands?
my hands are fine. they’re here and the same as ever. my nails are already a little too long but not to the point i Gotta cut them cuz it’s annoying tf out of me.....they’re not very dry, which is good, cuz yknow sometimes in the winter it’s like oh no i need lotion to live or smthing.....one time it was winter and i had dryass hands and we went to this Concert and i was just clapping enthusiastically and it made the back of one hand bleed lmao like yikes. the back of my right hand has a freckle although maybe that’s a mole, i haven’t been paying enough attention to know for sure lol.....i used to have a freckle in the middle of my palm on my left hand but that faded a while back. speaking of my palms the other day i was like, hmm is there some weird subtle like crepeiness in the surface of my Palm Skin??? it seemed like there was weird like, lattice-forming creasiness going along the Length of my fingers / across my palm. it might’ve been a vitamin d thing so i ate 3 eggs. today my hands seem more normal but the whole thing might’ve just been me making it up + placebo yolks. but either way. very normal hand day i’m having rn
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
man idk lol. i can get shy cats to like me sometimes. you just Be Chill with them and let them get used to you, idk it’s not hard @ anyone who thinks befriending cats is difficult like, probably that’s just you doing it way wrong........i can cook decently well, that’s handy i think and it can be fun even though it’s also this whole involved hassle......i like to Draw Emotively (in that the drawings are emotionally evocative / expressive, not that the way that i draw is particularly emotive) and i like when people like it / read it as Expressively as intended, i guess i’m proud? like, mission accomplished.......oh wait yeah and damn when i practiced ballet for like a whole decade i was proud of being good at that i guess cuz yknow, Effort, same as with drawing lol i’ve been doing it for a hot minute, i can be proud of those results.
64. favorite website from your childhood?
i wasn’t very Online as a kid b/c we had the one computer w/ a dialup connection & just like, whenever i was using the computer lots it was Pc Games......didn’t rly be on the Net much until Late ‘08.......
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
i’ve said latkes but you know who really supports me recently is a Whole potato i just scrub off and microwave and cut up and throw some salt n peppy and Shedd’s Spread uponst. like thank you so much for these nutrients and easy preparation, Staple Food
89. who would you put before everyone else?
hmph i don’t like, like, this Pyramid Tiering of everyone in your life with these higher and lower Levels of mattering-to-youness. i mean yeah sure i think we agree that it’s generally the case that we have More casual acquaintances vs friends vs Close friends and so on, but like. why are we gonna accept this Concept where like “okay but What If you need to only pick One Person.” like we’re driverless cars who need to program ourselves about whose life we prioritize, are we gonna run over This pedestrian or That one, who’s Winningest in the “being important to us” game. like we’re not a parent and the house is on fire and which of our three children do we love the most? well like, whose bedroom is closest. which of them hasn’t already bailed out a window. what if our Favorite isn’t the one we’d help first cuz maybe someone needs our help more at some particular time. like what does this question even mean!!!! what is the purpose of asking it??? i don’t like the premise or accept it. and it smacks of [those Concepts surrounding ~romance~ which i also do not like or vibe with]. no b.a.e........i’d go all out for Friends or for People I’ve Never Met But Respect or for Strangers.......some ppl would not get my all-out effort lmao or will get my nah-i-won’t-lift-a-finger lol but that’s if they’re like reeeal shitty. but like why should we whittle down ppl’s Importance to us to like “okay but who’s the 1 the ONE person who you care MOST about” like goddamn why are we adopting this framework. like ideally we have a Community of ppl in our lives who have different relationships / roles / connections to us, and this is pretty complex and why even Think about like, well there *has* to be the One who you prioritize Most Every Time, and you need to Know who that is......like what does that mean. and you know like. maybe the people who are in your life most intimately aren’t always the ones who have the strongest Help/Support ties to you here......like relationships are complicated and varied and having a network of people is better than like the idea that we should be fine and thriving with [The ~Soulmate~] [the friends who are kinda important but pale in comparison to The Soulmate] [family?] [acquaintances] like well if you Would Die For This Person and They’d Die For You you guys are obviously set!!
anyways i went off about it but i get mad about this stuff like. the stuff that feels like it’s even within 2 degrees of talking about those Soulmates and romantique notions like being incomplete or inherently unfulfilled without That One Special Someone. and even throwing the Romance out the window, why like, have your network of relationships put into a Tournament Bracket where you whittle down who matters most until the Champion emerges????? goddamn
1 note
·
View note
Text
ED Questions: nobody asked for this but im bored lmao
1. which eating disorder(s) do you have?
tbh nobody has said a specific name to me drs just say either ‘eating issues’ or ‘eating disorder’ so ednos?
2. when did you develop your eating disorder?
this is hard to answer bc looking back ive shown signs since ~early teenage years but ive been fully aware of it for about 2-2.5 years
3. are you currently in recovery?
im in therapy, its bought up every other session but i tend to avoid mentioning it so yes and no
4. honestly, do you want to recover?
again, yes and no. I often h a t e feeling like this but?? the pros out way the cons at this point
5. how are you doing today?
unhealthily? great! lol i hit my next gw this week and p much all my cals have been from alcohol lmao healthily? p bad ive only eaten a cruskit and some lettuce & im kinda depressed these past days but hey! idc
6. 5 safe foods?
lettuce! so much lettuce i can easily go through a head a day. honestly, its the only thing i can eat without feeling any semblance of guilt.
7. 5 fear foods?
tbqh, its such a long list everything p much. at the height of my fear of food i saw the word protein and freaked the F out so protein
8. do you count calories?
yeah but im really good at lying to myself about how many calories ive actually eaten lmao
9. what is your max calorie limit?
i say 550, but anything over 250 makes me feel like utter shit but then again, anything makes me feel shit lol
10. what is your height?
5′3″ / 161cm
11. what is your ultimate goal weight?
it was 49.5kg! but i hit that so its 48.7kg atm itll go down again tho
12. are you trying to lose weight?
absolutely yes
13. have you ever been called “fat”?
honestly i cant even remember if i have or not
14. have you ever been called “too thin”?
ive been called ‘small’ but not too thin. the dream tbh
15. what is your current goal weight?
48.7kgs
16. what was your highest weight?
when i first started weighing myself regularly, 61kgs
17. what was your lowest weight?
49.1kgs
18. do you wish you were back at your lowest weight?
im there rn
19. does your family know about your eating disorder?
yes, i dont talk to a lot of ppl and p much everyone knows
20. do your friends know about your eating disorder?
yeah, one of my best friends was actually the first person i told
21. do you wish you didn’t have an eating disorder?
yes and no, i hate feeling like this toward myself and food. but ive always hated myself so this is an improvement so its a really happy side effect
22. have any “free foods”?
lettuce!! lettuce lettuce lettuce. and tea
23. how often do you weigh yourself?
every day when i wake up. id say morning but i have a shit sleep schedule lol
24. thinspo or bonespo?
neither tbh im more of a i-have-an-ed-more-to-harm-myself-less-to-be-thin kinda gal
25. biggest problem area on your body?
my chubby chubby cheeks. the great irony is that my ed gave me chipmunk cheeks which hasnt helped any but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
26. favourite part of your body?
tbqh i like my waist. its not tiny but its p good imo
27. what kind of results do you want to see?
booooooones!!
28. do you purge?
:/ yeah
29. do you take laxatives?
yes but i have bowel problems anyway so its the constant struggle of do i take the reccomended amount or do i overdose lmao its always overdose
30. how often do you purge?
it goes in cycles, some weeks i purge every day, other weeks its could be 1-2 times a week.
31. do you binge?
by definition, no, but often times ill eat and say to myself its a binge
32. how long have you fasted for?
im SHIT at fasting, probably like 18-19 hours
33. who’s your biggest thinspiration?
hands around thighs really get me. also protruding rib cages thats the dream.
34. favourite eating disorder movie/show/documentary?
none! ive only seen maybe half an ed doc i cant get through one. But! I have a book of stories of girls w/ eds and there was one story about a white/polynesian girl with an ed with identity issues and she was l i t e r a l l y me i still have that book
35. favourite thinspo picture?
again, any pic of fingers touching around thighs. LUV it
36. can you post a photo of yourself/your body?
ive only posted 2 body checks lol, u can see them here
37. how does your eating disorder affect your life?
Im literally obsessed with food nd my body ive isolated myself from everyone/thing in my life and everything i do is a number i h8 it
38. what is your BMI?
currently, 19.1
39. do you follow a diet?
yeah, as little calories as possible lmao
40. least favourite part about your eating disorder?
most if not all of it? its all i think about
41. has your eating disorder ruined any relationships?
yes? if we group my ed with all my other mental health problems, i isolate myself from everyone i havent seen one of my best friends in over a year so YA
42. do you have a “guilty pleasure” food? what is it?
c h o c o l a t e. it is very much a guilty pleasure lool
43. meanspo or sweetspo?
not about the whole concept tbqh
44. does anyone else in your life have an eating disorder?
the saddest part, most women i know have expressed r admitted to doing some really shitty stuff to themselves in order to be thin
45. ever been inpatient?
/ 46. ever been outpatient? / 47. ever been in residential care? / 48. ever been in a psych ward?
nah but ive been threatened with it
49. are you currently in therapy?
yeah, individual therapy and DBT
50. what did you eat today?
a cruskit, 1 gummy lolly, ~4 leaves of lettuce and 3 glasses of wine lmao
51. are you scared about the holidays?
yes bc ill make a pavlova and ofc im gonna eat it rip :/
52. are your family/friends supportive?
kind of, if im in a healthy mind set i know they care but dont really know how to go about it. but they let me do a lot of shitty things to myself
53. have any other mental illnesses?
’severe social anxiety’, emotional disregulation, depression, maybe avpd and/or bpd?
54. looking for ana buddies?
nopenopenope ill never encourage this
55. what is your current weight?
as of this morning: 49.1kgs
6 notes
·
View notes
Photo
OKAY U GUYS LMAO TY FOR THE ASKS <33333 I’ll do ygo for all the letters here! It’s long so I’ll put it under a read more! So dive on in for some talk about my writing and puzzleshipping fics! (Also some snippets I posted below so wink wink)
B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?
Not like directly, but I definitely put some of my influences into them. Like Yugi wanting to be a knight in The Beast Within was 100% because I used to want to be a knight lmao.
F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
Ohhh off the top of my head? Gosh mmmm. Okay so off the top of my head there’s this one scene in an AU I’m probably going to abandon actually, so it’s kinda ehhh to show it now and tease u all like this lmao, but I did really enjoy writing the interactions between Yugi and Atem in them, so I’m going to put one of those for this! I just like the way they butted heads and Atem refused to relent, but then so did Yugi so they just tip toed around each other looking for the weak spot while referring to ‘the pharaoh’ as if it’s someone else and not Atem lmao. For context, it’s from an AU where everyone is an anthro animal, felines are considered the high ranking ones, spotted cats (Yugi’s species) is endangered and highly revered, Atem is a lion.
“You’re under the protection of the pharaoh, and as such are to remain in the palace where said effect can be carried out.” Atem answered as dully as he could manage. It seemed to work, as Yugi’s expression dropped.
“That order can be extended and revoked by the pharaoh himself should he wish. Do you think the pharaoh realises that? I wonder…” Yugi clicked his tongue, a thoughtful hand tapping his chin.
“I believe the pharaoh wishes for the spotted cat to remain within the palace walls, where he would be safest. I wonder if he realises that he could have servants fetch anything he needed from the city.”
“He wants to go look at what the city has to offer. With his own eyes, not those of servants not belonging to him.”
“You have your own staff I have assigned to you.”
“They’re not loyal to me.”
Atem paused, finally giving his full attention to Yugi. So that’s the kind of game Yugi was playing today. It seemed he had slipped up, however, and Atem wasn’t beneath taking advantage of this blunder.
“You question the good intentions of the pharaoh, who has given you his place as residence while asking nothing of you?” Atem tsked, turning back to his scroll, attention slipping from Yugi. He knew that would irritate the little cat, and sure enough, Yugi gave a soft growl in warning.
“I do not question the pharaoh, only wonder if he remembers whether or not he will honour his agreement.”
“What agreement?” Atem rolled his eyes.
Yugi pushed off the desk, slamming a hand down on the table, tail lashing angrily behind him. “You cannot keep me locked up here, pharaoh. Protective rules or not, if I leave, you cannot stop me.”
“No, I can’t,” Atem responded calmly, adjusting the scroll in his paws. “But you lose my protection if you venture into the city. You go alone.”
"I will be going into the city, pharaoh. And you will provide me with the necessary guards."
G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?
I tend to write random scenes around as I get inspiration for them, but mostly I write it chapter by chapter to keep it consistent! But if I’m in a slump, I write scenes that I had the motivation to work on, even if it’s for like three chapters ahead. I did this a little with my Big Bang fic because I had a deadline and needed to be working on it lmao. Fun fact tho, The Living Daylights I started off with the opening scene from chapter nine! Yeah nine chapters in right crazy ahaha, but that was what inspired the AU! xD
H: How would you describe your style?
I dunno? Semi-decent descriptions enough to understand locations and a fuckton of travelling montage work and fighting scenes. I couldn’t tell u dude I dunno my own style lmao.
M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?
Sure, why not! So my list of fics I’m currently writing are:
Prince and King on AO3
Dragontaur AU/ Opportunities in Unexpected Places on AO3
The Demon Prince Yugi and Knight Atem AU, which will be my next multi chap fic after PaK is done.
A naga!Yugi and vampire!Yugi AU that I’m writing, buuuuut they’re both for my smut blog, where I post them exclusively, and I’m not going to move them to AO3 either soz (anyone is welcome to IM me for the link to the blog, but it’s on private so access is message only lmao).
Magic AU, which u can find some snippets of here! I don’t plan to take this further than a longshot, even with the potential for more there, I just don’t have the time for another fantasy AU world to build rn lmao. But I hope to have something of this to share soon!
Lion Atem, which I gave the snippet of above, where they’re all anthros. I never wrote much for this, and although I liked the concept, I don’t think I’ll work on it anymore. Maybe I’ll post the 6K I wrote just as a ‘read if u want but don’t expect more pls’ kind of thing. But yeah, at this stage this one is p much discontinued because I don’t have the time to work on it.
And that leaves Elf King Yugi, something that has definitely been on the back burner for MONTHS now (ever since Trial and Error, so u do the maths lmao) which I have written a fair amount for, but need to do some serious plot work before I consider doing more. Since there is a chance I’ll continue to work on this one tho, I’ll post a snippet here!
"You know the council isn't going to like this Yugi. You're in for a long and dangerous fight with this one."
"I know Anzu- you don't need to treat me like a kid." Yugi scolded her with a quick frown.
"I'm just warning you. Be prepared to argue into the night."
"I am- believe me." Yugi groaned, a hand rubbing his forehead as if to still a headache.
Yami tittered at the edge of the room near the door, unsure if he should interrupt what looked like a conversation (or argument) between friends.
Luck wasn't (or was) on his side though it seemed, as Yugi took that moment to crane his neck to where Yami was standing, his eyes lighting up. Yami suppressed a groan as he waved him over.
Yami stepped lightly, his steps hesitant as he approached the two.
"Oh wow Yugi is this him? Your narcissism is showing with this one." The girl’s eyes gleamed with something predatory, like she was sizing up how long Yami would last in... Something.
"Would you please stop saying 'this one?' It implies I do this frequently- which I don't." Yugi said, shooting Yami an apologetic look. "This is Anzu- she works at the castle here-"
"You forgot to mention I'm your best friend." Anzu said in a sing song voice. Yugi shot her a look this time.
"Yes, and you're my annoying best friend." He turned back to Yami. "She's going to give you your tour, alright?"
Yami nodded. "Where are you going?"
"I have to go to court today. We'll see each other later, my dear Yami." Yugi smiled at him, reaching out to pat his shoulder as he passed him, disappearing out of the room.
Yami turned back around to immediately jump in surprise.
Standing way too close for comfort in front of him was Anzu. She had a wild grin on her face, like she knew a secret Yami didn't.
"Well well Yami. Looks like it’s just the two of us for the rest of the day." She practically purred.
"Uh... Okay... Should I be worried?" Yami frowned, not liking the glint in her eyes. It's like a maze of demons here, Yami observed. You turn away from one only to find another.
"Not at all," Anzu hummed, patting Yami's shoulder. "We're all friends here I assure you. Yugi wants me to take extra good care with you. And I must say- I can see why. You're a keeper."
"A keeper?" Yami's frown deepened, and he suppressed a sigh of exhaustion. Just what have I gotten myself into here? He was beginning to seriously regret his decision to break the elves' border seal now.
"Never mind." Anzu waved him off, trotting over to the door only to swing back around, her hand on the handle. "You coming? Yugi wants you to see the castle."
"Oh, right, of course." Yami muttered, following Anzu as she made her way out into the hallway.
"Alright, first things first- unless Yugi gives you public permission to travel around, don't go anywhere without an escort, okay?"
"Why? I'm not a kid." Yami scoffed.
"Mmm, technically you are to a lot of these folk. Most of the population in the kingdom are elves, and they tend to be a lot older than they appear."
N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?
LMAO YEAH REALLY WISH I DIDN’T HAVE TO WRITE THE REST OF PRINCE AND KING BUT WELP IT’S MY FIC AND I’VE COME THIS FAR SO I GOTTA FINISH IT RIP. I just reaaaaaally crave the day I can slap a COMPLETED on it :’’’’D
O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?
The plot! Mainly because fanfic so the chars already exist lmao. I usually start with one thing that catches my interest, and work out from there. Sometimes my AUs start from dreams, like Demon Prince started because I had a dream Yugi was a demon in jail trying to seduce Atem to come work for him so lmao there u go.
P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)
I’m much more of an architect, because without a decent plot written out in front of my, in like a chapter by chapter format, I will easily lose motivation and focus because I won’t have a ‘oh yeah that’s what’s happening next!’ sort of thing. It helps with building up foreshadowing and stuff too for me. The stories I try to ‘gardener’ for I guess are the ones that often don’t see tumblr or AO3 lmao. AKA u will never hear of them because I have a few lmao.
Q: How do you feel about collaborations?
Interesting question! I suppose it depends what kind! I like collaboration ideas, in fact my first multi chapter fic The Living Daylights was a collaboration in ideas between me and my pal Ren! But I still wrote the entire thing lmao. I guess I like to have control over the writing for style consistency, but I think tackling the entire concept with another writer would be fun! I’ve never tried to write something with someone else so I dunno how that would go!
T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?
[kinda nsfw] INNOCENT PURE YUGI MUTOU WHO MUST ALWAYS BOTTOM FOR ATEM BECAUSE ATEM IS SEX GOD AND YUGI IS VIRGIN WHO KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT SEX. Listen nothing rustles my JIMMIES more than that that troupe which is EVERYWHERE in puzzleshipping. I don’t understand why it’s so popular??? Like, this isn’t to say Yugi 100% CANNOT bottom because he totes can! But of ALL the puzzleshipping I’ve ever read that involved smut, especially in multi chapter fics, Yugi topped like... once, maybe??? ???? That’s SO MANY fics where Atem almost NEEDED to top. It kind of feels like people were too scared to write it at times? Like some stories I could totally see it either way, but it was ALWAYS with Atem topping, always. I don’t really understand why people are so against Yugi topping in puzzle but auuuugh I just wish there was more of it u know? Like if I want top Atem material shit man I got hundreds of fics for that, but top Yugi? Man, I can list them on my fingers...
Long story short ppl shouldn’t be afraid to let Yugi top pls. I’m not saying he ALWAYS HAS TO TOP, but more of that than Atem always topping would be real nice? A nice mix instead of everything seemingly so bias would be cool? Sometimes I want top!Atem, and sometimes I want top!Yugi, isn’t that the same for everyone lmao. Like they’d totes switch it up all the time so why is there so little for top!Yugi? The mystery of my life lmao. Let Yugi Top 2k17.
X: A character you enjoy making suffer.
Probably Atem, sorry to the kid but he’s the one who ends up suffering the most in my fics opps. I think there’s like ONE fic where Yugi suffers more maybe? The rest is all like nope lmao soz bro but ur the punching bag ahaha.
W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?
(this is the one I picked myself lmao) I like really specific ones! I like to know exactly what I’m writing, and unless I get a burning idea in my head I’d rather do (not often) I’d prefer prompts that give me more to work with, or at least more detail than like a one line simple prompt lmao.
#ashes ramblings#yugioh#puzzleshipping#i guess since all my fics mentioned r puzzle lmao#also feel free to bug me about the fics mentioned and shit#I may invest more into them if ppl like them#i am still on the border about Lion Atem AU //strokes chin
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
xx-prince-joji-xx-blog
Prince
leon-poet
Unbetitelt
icon-in-training
Neglected Hours Turn Into Forgotten Years
akkariin
He had given her too much.
askjdcore
JD CORE TRAINING