#maybe it will motivate me to lose weight tho
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haha I'll never finish this
but hewwo new followers <3
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch fanart#but the idea is cool so have this bleurg#today I broke a teeth and I don't know how#got an appointment but not before a week#it's annoying to eat 'cause the sensation is weird#maybe it will motivate me to lose weight tho#so I could finally pass this threshold of 2 pull ups in a row to 3#and finally go to the gym without my emotional support elastic bands#do strength training with your own bodyweight they say#it will be cheap they said#yeah guess what it's hard when you're afab lol#in the meantime doing legs is easy but eeeh no one do squat competition in party#it's always “hey look how much pull ups I can do”#gnagnagna#hey people who read my tags comment which clone would win a pull up competition if you read this#ok I need to sleep#bye
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my personal success stories #1
part 1: appearance changes 💄
so one of my biggest goals for manifesting was appearance changes. it was something that i used to be insecure about and i would complain about. but now i'm more satisfied with how i look. my self-concept and my appearance have improved over time in different aspects through different ways. so i'm just going to put a few of my personal appearance change success stories. i talk about some person things i experienced and maybe you may relate so i hope it motivates you.
the backstory
as i mentioned a few times before, i first found out about loa through subliminals. at first i thought subliminals were just complete bs because why would listening to music and rain sounds make my lips bigger and make me skinnier?? wtf. but after a while i decided to try manifesting appearance change. through subliminals. i wanted to manifest my desired face and body.
i was fed with TONS of limimiting beliefs back then. i gave up on manifesting appearance changes after a a bit. it wasn't worth my time or energy as so i thought. i was avoiding mirrors and it just made life a little more stressful.
a while later i decided i would go back to manifesting things. i rewatched some of sammy ingram's videos, which i used to binge watch when i was new to loa. i started to listen to subliminlas again, since they have actually given me small succsses beforehand. and i made vision boards. i repeated affirmations to myself when i was bored. just started applying little by little.
facial features
for facial features i kept some of them and changed some of them because i was kind of satisfied already. i manfiested my eyes to be a little bigger, and my lips to be a bit plumper. i just affirmed to get it and used some subliminals. my face still looks recognizable, just small changes i wanted here and there whenever i felt like it. and i literally posted a FACE REVEAL so don't argue with me lmao.
clearer skin
one thing i really wanted to manifest was flawless skin. because i was insecure about acne. this manifestation took place pretty recently compared to the other ones i talked about here. i started by manifesting skincare products but then went on to manifest natually having clear skin all together. whenever i looked into the mirror i affirmed that my skln was so clear and i drank water assuming it would clear my skin more. i also listened to lay subliminal's clear skin subliminal and it gave me HUGE results. so overall i got pretty clear skin with little effort or time.
body and weight loss
[tw//weight] another thing i was able to manifest was losing weight and changes to my body. the first time i did this was "unconsciously," before i got into loa so this was like months ago. i would look in the mirror and constantly tell myself(affiirm)that i'm so skinny, my thighs are so thin, etc. and whenever i saw images of kpop idols i would affirm that my body was just like their's except mine is better. i was scared i was going to gain weight but turns out when i went to the doctor checkup i actually lost weight, was 43kg(95lbs) before was around 42kg(93lbs) during the checkup and i didn't work out or diet. in fact, i ate more and i had online school at the time so i barely even walked around lmao.
i used to be insecure about my thighs but now my thighs are thin and i have a big thigh gap. my waist and arms are thin as well. now my body looks like something in between rosé's and joy's except i'm shorter than them. i've also gotten a ton of compliments. i usually wear loose clothes but when i wore something tighter people would call me body goals because of my body shape. and my friend would tell me that i'm SUPER skinny🤧 even tho i eat a lot of junk food and almost never exercise except used to do sports before(which actually gains muscles). i'm still thin even though my weight slightly increases compared to the first time i manifested wl since i'm taller, did sports in the beginning of the school year and gain muscles, and my body is still growing bc i'm still a teenager.
glow ups
i don't know if this counts but i manifested glowing up before school started this year. although most of the things i manifest were much later on, i still did got a few of my first "small" results in the summer, when i first found out about manifestation. i manifested getting some random changes such as new hair, new clothes, makeup products, etc. but i ended up noticably looking "different" from how i looked before.
#law of assumption#loa#loassumption#loassblog#manifesting tips#manifesting#manifestation#law of assumption blog#loablr#self concept#law of attraction#loa blog#neville goddard#that girl#it girl#10k affirmations#affirm and persist#affirmdaily#affirmations#success story
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I saw your take on Ardyn's birthday placing him a Taurus. Any opinions on fandom sunshine child Prompto being born on October 25th. Making his sun sign a Scorpio?
I think he might have a secondary sign be Sagittarius. But given his codependency with Nox, maybe libra?
Idk what are your opinions?
Prompto 😭 So yeah, he definitely gives off having JUST a Scorpio sun (though he does have a little of like, a punk look to him, which feels Scorpio-inspired), and considering Sagittarius follows after, I do think having a few Sagittarius placements (or Libra) makes sense.
Especially if we consider how overly positive he is. Now, he could genuinely be a very positive person (which would be reflected in the Jupiter-ruled sign of Sag), but his tendency to hide his own past, his tougher emotions, and remain cheerful for the sake of the group dynamic - that feels more Libra.
ALSO. Being into photography does make more sense for someone with some Libra placements: Venus-ruled, more creative, and especially when you think about what photography is, which is often creating balance of light, dark, as well as balance with the objects that appear in the frame as well - Libra seems like a good zodiacal archetype that supports photography.
So Prompto would be a Scorpio sun, with either a Libra, Scorpio, or Sagittarius mercury, and then I believe Venus can only be up to two signs apart, so he's either a virgo, scorpio, libra, sag, or cap venus. I think Libra Venus makes a lot of sense. We also never see him get angry, like, considering his past and everything he's such a genuinely good person it makes me cry 😭 And the Libra Venus would also potentially bring up the codependency you mentioned.
I kind of think maybe his tendency to make silly jokes and bring levity to conversations is more of a Sagittarius mercury thing. And Scorpio as a sign is also a placement that tends to stay loyal to a few people, and Prompto seemed to latch onto Noctis pretty quickly when they were in school (in the brotherhood anime), and went to great lengths to secure their friendship (like losing weight, something he literally didn't have to do).
I also want to say, I like the idea of astrology existing in this world to color Prompto's personality, because he IS different from Besithia (and would have entirely different birthdays), they just share, really, a skill with technology, except Prompto's entire reason to use weapons is simply to assist his friends (more Libra things). Although being so friend-oriented does call Aquarius into question as well, but I think Libra as a sign has more of an interest in partnerships (i.e. Noctis being his best friend) versus Aquarius, which is more about the group dynamic as a whole.
Like let's say he's an Aries rising, which would be Aries in the 1st house, so giving him a more "muted "Aries nature, i.e maybe more impulsive, a little impatience, more childlike and innocent, and then that would be Libra in the 7th, so say Libra Venus in the 7th, and then a Scorpio sun in the 8th (an 8th house sun would be more "hidden" but also emphasize his loyalty, and willingness to risk his life for someone he is close to). Although then that would make him a Mars-ruled person, tho he is highly motivated...idk I haven't totally thought this through lmao, I just wanted Libra sitting in the 7th house, to emphasize his focus on partnerships/closeness, and that puts Aries in the 1st!
I haven't given much thought to the Chocobros astrological placements, except, I mean, Gladio is definitely an Aries with an Aries Mars lmao. And probably Aries mercury too, dude has NO tact.
I can't write anything more coherent about this than a ramble unfortunately lol. Although Prompto is my favorite character aside from Ardyn, so I have given some thought to this prior to your question.
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You know what? I think for the first time…honestly maybe in my entire life…I am happy. Like, genuinely happy, content, satisfied.
I am not where I want to be, but I know I am making tangible progress towards it. Mentally, physically, financially.
My therapy sessions lately have gone from this jumbled mess of chaos and anxiety and tears to validating my own choices and feelings. I noticed it three sessions ago and she said she noticed it as well. She said I started the session out kind of asking for permission/validation for recent choices and that I just kept backing my own self up. I have not had this kind of confidence in myself since 2012.
I see several career/financial paths I could do. I am really enjoying doing Rover and still am hoping I gain repeat clientele. In the future, I can get my own pet sitting insurance and cut out the middle man of Rover. It’s exciting to think of this possibility because it’s joining my passion of dogs (that I forgot I had?!) with my independent work style. I make my own schedule, no one’s telling me what to do (other than owner instructions of course) and I’m getting to work with the best pups! I’d really like to market a little more towards basic training as well and include it as an add on.
I have an upcoming husky client who is a jumper. He gets really excited, jumps and jumps, and open mouth “bites.” The owner said he’s trained him from a puppy, but jumping is a pretty frustrating habit for visitors. I let him know I could work on the jumping while I’m there and I’m excited about that. I know a handful of ways to decrease it and just saw another method that I think I’m going to try on this husky since he’s super treat motivated.
Rover is also getting me moving around a lot more. Social work tends to be a pretty sedentary job, but I’m constantly moving when I have high energy dogs. So, I’ve also been losing weight and I feel good. Im outside a lot more and I have the benefit of walking with a dog. How fun!
Im not quite at the point where this could be a long term thing, I need to get more clients and especially dog walking clients. Im mainly doing overnight sits.
Another path I see is joining my masters degree and love of dogs together. This would be a super far out goal, but I could specialize in pet therapy. This was one of my initial goals in college. My academic advisor even suggested that I do some type of therapy work around animals. There was a vet hospital that took on interns in their pet bereavement department, but it was masters level only. So, it was literally grief therapy for pet owners that combined pet therapy (which by the way is human therapy using pets. Not therapy for the pets haha. I get weird looks when I say this sometimes).
There’s still the career paths I’ve been pursuing, but I’d only Been pursuing them because I just don’t know what else I’d do. I do like social work case management, but it’s an even lousier path in Florida than it was up north. I do like the idea of therapy, but it seems so boring to sit in an office all day talking to people.
There have been many times in my life where I was focused on animals, but it seemed too silly of a career thought to ever pursue. I didn’t want to be a vet and I didn’t want to put more money into school to be a vet tech when I was so close to my BSW (but I really did almost leave social work to pursue being a vet tech! But then my school said I could graduate in two more semesters so I let the idea go)
I was a dog walker short term between graduation and my first social work job. I didn’t promote myself anywhere tho or put any stock in it. I was training the family dog at home and helping my friend with training her dog. I began thinking about becoming a trainer. I’ve applied so many times to petsmart/petco for the dog trainer position but ultimately never pursued it and would lean harder into the social work jobs.
I do still feel a little silly being so optimistic about the pet sitting stuff because it’s not a typical route, but im seeing so many people thrive with it now. So many small businesses for pet care. I think I could do that. I think I’d love doing it.
I think i burned out from social work years ago. Maybe from the whole field. I think that part of me is tired. Which is hard to admit. Despite my best self care efforts, I’ve carried the burdens of my clients for the last 10 years. I still think about my first clients from 2014, wonder how they are, if they’re okay, if they’re still alive. Ive spent too many nights crying about my clients because I didn’t have a magic wand to make life easier for them. I’ve given my entire heart to the social work jobs I’ve had and the clients I’ve worked with. I’m tired. Empathy is such a gift And I know it’s my biggest strength, but maybe, at least for now until my heart heals, I can Channel my empathy towards animals again.
We’re finally putting money into savings despite Rover being a huge pay cut. It won’t be sustainable job once we move out, so I have from now until then to make something of it. M is so supportive of this and its helped me to believe in myself again 💚
Some of my recent furry friends. Also M and I celebrated one year of marriage with a training walk with Mel and a night out on the town 🥰
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It might be a little bit bias with Sae Itoshi but I want to share what's in my mind after reading the flashback part.
I supposed their good relationship was destroyed at this moment, when their shared dreams changed by Sae. He wants to be a midfielder instead of a striker and when Rin said, "I don't want that, I'm the younger brother of the world's best striker." It somehow hurt Sae ego as his older brother and as someone who lost his past dream.
And, that last part where Rin said that Sae wasn't the same brother anymore crushing his remaining pride.
There must be something HUGE happened in Spain, maybe he found out that with all those genius out there he still couldn't be the best striker as he promised to Rin ("Turns out the world is huge. There're better player out there way than me.") So, he changes his path because he still loves football afterall. He hopes that Rin would still be there to play with him. To hear that Rin only want him as a striker and to see that Rin wasted his potential as a striker when Rin has what he doesn't have kinda disappointing and irks him.
I thought, in that moment Sae also realized that Rin couldn't be the best striker if he keeps being his shadow by keeping him as his core motivation while Sae himself can't even reach that dream they shared. So, Sae being Sae, he pushed his brother with his usuall harsh word he barely used to Rin and created that misunderstanding.
He thought that he was just a mere tool for Sae's dream but I thought that Sae is actually still care for Rin. Sae wanted him to chase his own dream, he doesn't want Rin to be his shadow and being a striker.
NOTE :
yes, Sae could said it in a more nice way since it's the dream they shared together and what Rin clinging to for 4 years but, we know that Sae is a straightforward kids who can't sugar coating his words.
Do you notice how he come back a day early to tell Rin about his new dream? He still wanted to be the best but not as a striker anymore but Rin couldn't understant that (but yea, not Sae try to make him understand tho). I'm quite sure Sae himself doesn't want to change it if he doesn't fall hard in Spain untill he's losing weight as Rin noticed.
We also know how Sae always wanted to be the best striker in the world since the beginning, it must be ruining him especially with his big ego.
That's all I'm gonna say for now, since I'm still on chapter 130. Hope it does make sense, and for whoever read this, I'm sorry for my shitty grammar. Feel free to give your opinion or argument. I just hope that this two would find their own way to make up with each other since they still care for one another.
#blue lock#blue lock analysis#sae itoshi#itoshi sae analysis#I'm sorry#i need this after read that a lot of people hate him#they both need to go to family counseling#pls communicate like normal human
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tw. ed + whatever the fuck is wrong w me in general. id actually advise against reading this but this helps get things off my chest.
me slipping back into old ed habits bc my intrusive thoughts actually ended up triggering me 💀💀💀 i went on a 2 day fast and only had mineral water and i feel both proud and horrified that ive allowed myself to do that so now im eating healthy things to kinda make up for it but anyways i weighed myself too even tho i said i wouldn't. like i know i shouldn't feel happy over the fact i starved and weakened my body on purpose but it feels nice to stick to something and actually have some discipline back in my life.
had a breakdown too earlier for no reason (altho im on my period so maybe that's why, fuck you uterus btw there is no us only u someone remove this thing PLEASE). like bro some bitch in college also was telling me how she was losing weight and she deadass told me that my ribcage sticking out was so aesthetic and it just enabled me, we only spoke 3 times before that and im pretty sure she has an ed too bc she kept trying to get my measurements??? she also said she'd sacrifice two of her ribs to get a waist like mine and i know she meant it as a compliment but i wanted to cry and felt low-key ashamed like i hate when people point out my physical appearance and i was stretching i didn't even mean for my shirt to go higher up it was so uncomfy. it's weird tho cause when i starve myself i feel happy abt it but when other people point it out and praise me for it i get really mad. maybe it's bc i discourage eds and im very pro-recovery but anyways that was a weird comment™ i think it played into the breakdown. she tried grabbing my wrist several times and i told her to stop trying to touch me but she wouldn't stop either and was like "just for a second please" like i felt so icky bc of that too like bitch hands off before i retaliate <3 so yeah now im trying to eat again but honestly i feel like im gonna throw up bc i didn't eat for 2 days lmao and the entire day today i felt so dizzy. like yesterday was fine but today ?? no. my muscles hurt so bad so im gonna have a 50g protein shake too ugh im so tired. gonna try get up to 1000 kcal at least and make the deficit up over the weekend bc my stomach physically hurts when i try to eat (but this strawberry yogurt bangs even tho im half full already).
ive been slipping back into an ed mindset over the last month tho even with my binges and i just wanna look ill enough for one of my doctors finally tell me im underweight enough they didn't even acknowledge i was severely underweight 3-4 years ago that felt so humiliating and now im thinking along the lines of "i need to be a better anorexic" even tho its fucked up and like im trying to just snap myself out of this mindset but it's not working so im gonna have to get a therapist potentially. bc i don't want my organs and bones failing but at the same time, i wanna make sure doctors take me seriously this time and maybe it'll be a fucking reminder to take eds seriously. it actually pisses me off hos insensitive some doctors are about eds and the fact they indirectly fucking allow it sometimes too like. just bc im not in a critical condition and only like 3/4kgs underweight doesn't mean i don't have an ed or that it isn't "severe enough" smh this annoys me so much.
if you read it up to here don't worry ill be fine, a bitch always pulls thru and these are just momentary lapses in judgement im not letting mental illness win im too fucking good for this (<- motivating myself kinda feel better after writing this NGL).
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Welp, today's the day I finally stepped on a scale after, like, I dunno, years probably? Aaaanndd well... that was a number I haven’t seen there before xd Which is both good and bad.
Bad because I gained a few kgs since the last time and apparently went over the healthy bmi and body fat amount (not by a lot, but like around 1,5 each), if the online calculators are to be believed, but it's also good in the sense this might finally give me enough motivation to kick myself in the ass and start moving goddammit.
I've already been trying to do some light exercises a couple times a week but maybe this will help me up the ante + I have, for the first time in my life, decided to try and count my calories intake. Which is... weird, lmao, but also interesting? I haven’t been eating a lot, tbh, and pretty much no sweets or snacking, I kinda grew out of it? So I guess most of my added weight comes from lack of exercise and maaaybe hormone changes. Ive been on and off the pill several times during the last year-two, currently off for a couple of months, so I think that could’ve thrown my body into alarm mode of gathering fat "just in case".
With the calories intake counting, Im mainly curious to see how much I get in the day when I eat as I normally do and if there's a reason for the weight gain somewhere in there. Like today Im already after dinner and I'll probably only make myself a light supper and won’t even meet the amount the app Im using calculated for me to lose the weight I want (5 kg for now to get back to the healthy bmi scale), so that's very interesting and Im wondering if maybe Im eating less on some days but more on others and that's also making my body "put away" the extra? I don’t actually know how all of this works, so Im just making guesses right now.
And the exercise part, ooof. It didn’t use to be so hard, goodness grace, Im Really out of shape. Tho, I guess the added kgs are impacting me too. Im starting slow, mostly stretching + some squats, some shorter video exercises, the kind. I know it'd probably help to make a regime, but that's only gonna make me miserable, so for now Im setting myself a goal of just Doing Something everyday and whenever I feel stronger, I'll just do more on the day. Otherwise the pressure I put on myself might kill any fun or motivation Id have.
This is pretty much just my personal rambling, which I might turn into a bit of a diary to help myself keep track and all (its weirdly easier to just type up a tumblr post than open up a notebook and write it down? Huh...), so like if anyone got through this whole post, damn, thank you, I guess, hah. If you have any tips, I'd be glad to read them! ^^
Let's see how long this bout of motivation lasts me 😂🙈
#personal#Raksh posts#starting a weight loss journey I guess??#tho those are some big words oof#but yeah I do wanna try and lose some weight#see how my eating habits look rn and try to improve them going further#try and exercise more too#Ive already did around an hour today#mostly stretching plus some weight exercises like squats and big for the arms#I might try some more stretchinf in the eveninf#I know these are very light effort but Im telling myself I gotta start somewhere#little baby steps!#I do need a tag for this hmmm#Rakshs weighty ramblings#alright that'll do for now#feel free to block the tag!#I might make these posts more regular who knows!#gotta try and make myself consistent or something 😅#and now I think Im gonna reward myself with some gaming ^^
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But why are you so mad at creators doing early access tho? You were also one of them when you were still active
@gloomiee answered something similar to this question here and @yooniesim said here, also. Please take a read. I fully stand by their words.
I wouldn't fully say I'm mad at early access creators. I'm more just disappointed. I'm disappointed with how some creators really showed their asses by throwing tantrums and saying disgusting things at the possible news that early access was not allowed, creators acting like they suddenly couldn't read, creators saying their cc is early access only for it to be locked for months or even years, creators doxxing their patrons, creators insulting their supporters and threatening to leave just because they can't make money off the community anymore, and so on and so forth. I didn't and still don't understand why creators, especially the well-known ones with like 500+ patrons, couldn't come to a conclusion and say, "hmm, maybe early access is causing more harm than good to the sims community" and should just accept donations here on out. Because honestly, if your cc is really good and if patrons truly loved your creations AND you as a person, they would continue to pledge to you and donate, whether they get other benefits or not. Being uncertain about that kind of just proves that a creator doesn't think their cc is good enough.
The reason why I stopped doing early access was because constantly pushing out a certain amount of cc every month burned the hell out of me and made me lose motivation to continue on. I lost the fun in creating due to pressure and wanting to give back to patrons that paid to support me. I know I'm not the only cc creator that felt this way in the past and/or currently feels this way now. I've seen a few early access creators taking breaks due to this exact reason. When creating cc starts to feel like a chore then it's no longer fun. I feel a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. I may go back to only making my cc packs early access (because those take me a long ass time), but I’m still not sure yet. I’m fine with donations, overall.
#i have noticed some creators that used to have amazing cc but then started to skimp out and become lazy. its a shame#anon#dyoreply#dyo*
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I wanna do these all at once cause ik I'm gonna forget ;-;
1. Hw - about 210lbs (95.3kg)
Sw - 186.4lbs (84.5kg)
Cw - 127.4lbs (57.8kg)
2. I'm 5'3 (160cm)
Fuckin HATE my height, can't control that but I can control my weight 😌
3. Love the ribs and thin lanky fingers
4. Biggest fear is gaining it ALL back and then some, I don't want to go back to a size xL when I'm now a small :/
5. I'm doing it for me. I originally wanted to eat healthier but most if the time I tried it didn't work and I gained. And once I started losing weight healthily, I felt powerful and could control my urges so I just kept cutting cals :)
6. I used to eat 2 bags of chips in a single sitting then have a bunch of greasy shit. I used to binge cause I had no friends so I was just filling time lol
7. Yes. Everyone in my family is CONCERNED abt how quickly I lost weight lol (about 60lbs in 5 months :/ )
8. Mostly just an hour of just dance (wii game) or 10k steps. Only cause im not as motivated anymore.
9. Mostly doctors saying I should've lost a bunch of weight as an 8 y/o lol,, but other than that, everyone ignored me when I was fatter
10. Pasta, excessive cheese, and macadamia nut cookies.
11. Don't have one ;-;
12. Cucumber, garlic hummus, tuna, low cal mayo, and pickles.
13. 👀
What do you think?
14. Ugw - 90lbs (40.8kg)
Idk? I've been losing close to 10lbs a month so maybe I'll shoot for Christmas? (Its August 2nd rn.)
15. Peskitarian. I have been for about 5-6 years? Tho I've stopped eating hot dogs and bologna and noticed I've gotten paler lol
16. I've wanted to lose weight since I was 10 lol (18 now) the beginning goal was to fit into cosplay costume pants, tho I don't cosplay anymore ;-;
17. 👁👄👁 maybe (undiagnosed as of now)
18. Pickles. 🤤🤤
19. Had to about 5 days ago, but by choice, about 2.5 months ago?
20. 500 cal max with intermittent fasting every so often lol
21. Idfk,, I wear a men's small but they're a bit big cause I only wear oversized clothes. Probably a women's small?
22. I'm at my lw :,) hope to not gain ;-;
23. Mostly just the cosplay community on tiktok only boosting the thin people who looked most like the characters :/
24. Idk i kinda just use them as tags? I mean, you shouldn't encourage someone to have an ed, but it'd be nice to have a community that knows what you're going through and can be there for you :,)
25. Never thrown up on purpose BUT I do over exercise whenever I have more than 500 cals lol
26. Death? Being smaller than my boyfriend? (I mean I already am. Hes taller and probably close to the same weight as me ;-;)
27. I have SO much food aggression. Whenever I'm around food and I have to eat, I pick apart my food and make it look unappealing
28. Idc. It'll probably just be easier to get skinny jeans lol
29. Not me! Idk,, my bf is really beautiful but beauty is subjective :)
30. Don't wanna do this part,, im done :,)
#tw ana diary#tw ana related#tw ana thoughts#tw ed vent#not pr0 just for myself#pr0 @na#male ed#trans ed#trans ana#trans 4n4#ana male#pro ana#ana trigger#pro 4n4#pr0 4n4
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——— ABOUT THE MUN !
(I’m back and you get to enjoy my extensive chatter and rarely seen mun icon again)
——— BASICS !
(PEN)NAME: Silf (or Sussu with friends)
PRONOUNS: they/them
ZODIAC SIGN: Libra, aka don’t trust me to make any decisions ever-
SINGLE / TAKEN: single pringle :’)
——— THREE FACTS !
• I’ve worked as an exchange student tutor at my uni for the last year and it appears I’ve freaked out almost everyone I’ve met with the number of languages I know. How many languages do I know? “Too many.” (Depending on how you count, the number is somewhere between 4-12. Tho pls note that knowing a language and actually speaking it are two very different things... I’m only 100% fluent in two languages - take a wild guess what those are - and speak another 2,5 helpfully. xD With the rest I’m limited to more or less “tourist”.)
• I’ve worn basically the same pieces of jewellery every day for like... more than a decade now. An opal pendant I got on a holiday in Crete when I was 15 (it was my parents’ confirmation gift to me and I wear it instead of my golden cross bc I don’t like crosses or golden jewellery and lost my faith around the same time... I think the circle shape fits better into my spiritual concoction anyway). Opal also happens to be my birthstone which I found out years later as a fun coincidence. Besides the necklace, I currently have four rings, two in each middle finger (why stacked? bc I have ridiculously tiny hands and the lower rings are a size too big and would fall off otherwise). I started with one ring (that I no longer wear, it was my elementary school class ring and has Bad Vibes) in hs and they’ve accumulated since. At this point I’m so used to their weight on my hands that I can’t write/type properly when I’m not wearing them. I also stim with my rings and have accidentally flung one or two of them across a room on multiple occasions both at home and in public. Oops.
• I’ve spent the last week or two (or three... I’m losing count) researching Chinese astrology and cultural symbolism and just... don’t ask me why, I’m trying to name a new muse and quickly discovered that there are roughly a million things one needs to take in account to make a good, auspicious Chinese name. Tbh I’ve been at my name research for the last year already with some breaks in between but this urge to find his name strikes me again after a few months. (My weird research topics are, usually, one way or another, related to my muses. If you want an easy conversation opener with me, you can always ask about my latest research topic and I can always guarantee interesting and/or entertaining answers.)
——— EXPERIENCE !
PLATFORMS USED: Skype in the very beginning, though I usually don’t count it. It was just dumb one-liners and projection. Facebook pages were my home base for several years but I finally moved to tumblr in 2016 after fb made it practically impossibly to rp there anymore. Also a brief stint on Kik that I’d rather forget (between fb and tumblr).
HOW LONG? Facebook since 2012, Skype maybe a year before that if it counts.
——— MUSE PREFERENCE !
GENDER: my main muses tend to be guys but it’s actually a 50/50 split in my head... not even half of them have (active) blogs bc my mains are attention whores. Someday I plan to dump the rest of them on a multi-muse... whenever I find the time and motivation to write half a dozen bios
LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S): I don’t know actors/actresses that well and I don’t really pay that much attention to fcs... I’ve found all of mine half by accident on pinterest
MULTI OR SINGLE: Single but I’m willing to experiment with multis. My multi blog would most likely be a disaster (but what in my life isn’t) but, well, dunno for sure before you try it
——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT ! ♡
FLUFF: I love fluff as much as the next person but it’s sometimes hard for me to write bc I have some, shall we say, prerequisites for it. Like, if the thread is nothing more but pure and simple slice-of-life fluff it just gets... boring to me tbh. For me, ideally, there needs be a bit of a charged undercurrent, things that are left unsaid between the lines. I want a feeling of history between the muses and a sense of continuity to their story lines even after the fluffy moment passes. Imo the fluff needs to fit in to the bigger picture of their (my) narrative rather than just be an isolated moment for the sake of itself. In short, a sugary sweet fruit cocktail alone doesn’t do it for me, it needs some chamoy in it (and no, I haven’t tried that food myself actually, just seen it a lot recently on tiktok lol). Without some depth, the fluffy slice-of-life threads just don’t hold my interest for very long and I might end up dropping them without a warning (sorry)
ANGST: I love angst and I think fluff is even sweeter when it comes after like, ahem, an avalanche of angst. xD If you talk to me on discord, you know I come up with new hcs every week and they’re usually angsty ones... I especially love the Treaty of Kiel stuff here (aka Eiki’s separation anxiety and the source of his infamous Attitude™). With Zinon I’m a lot more careful, mostly bc his main source of historical angst is very very recent so... you know, we’re respectfully not touching that. I recognise that it’s still an open wound to native Cypriots so I’ve resorted to just... implying the elephant in the living room every now and then. Bc ignoring it completely would also be rather difficult and morally questionable imho. Other than that, I just don’t really care for writing violence/war situations and like to focus more on interpersonal relationships (and the mess that those make when your average lifespan is measured in centuries).
SMUT: I think the one and only time I wrote smut was in like 2014 and... well, I’m not opposed to writing something like that again someday, my preference is just to not do it in a public platform. Kissing and innuendo is fine in threads but then it’s fade to black and if you want more details, we can plot or write it on discord. I also prefer to avoid nsfw memes most of the time. (”Most of the time” bc it also varies a bit with my muses’ body confidence. Each one of them has a mind of their own and some of them are absolutely shameless. Yes, I am looking at you, Zinon.)
PLOT / MEMES: I prefer plotting but people have also complained in the past that I plot things too well and then there’s nothing left to rp so... hmm. My current tactic is to use memes for inspiration, to gauge interest and stuff. And hc memes are great for expanding characters. At the same time, I reblog memes quite rarely bc I have no self-control over the number of threads I start and can get easily overwhelmed with everything I have to deliver... and then it might take me months to reply and I try to avoid that but life also likes to throw curve balls at me.
stolen from: multiple people on the dash- @xbasilrp @banamaak @heroyam
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skip this if you want
okay so fuck so hi
bit of a ventsies oh no :(((((((((((
so fuck
so basically
*to the tune of that one part in I'm a believer*:
AND THEN I KILLED MYSELF
and
lmao
okay fuck this is so unserious lmao
but like genuinely
I just need to fucking type for a bit and send it out to the world
because I'm a special frog
I eated today
I wish I didn't eated
because I'm a
FAT FUCK(tm)
and I feel all icky and I'm scared of gaining weight
BUT WHATEVER LMAO
I feel like when I'm just typing like this I can like actually like
B myself
I should do this more lmao
so
fuck
I'm just gonna keep talking till I run out of ideas - leave at any time
so fuck
uh
I feel like I overreact a lot lmao
like
I'm sensitive - that's my main chr trait
but like
yk?
NEways it just rlly pissed me off that
SOMEONE
couldn't keep quiet abt a game I'm playing and spoiled
what sounded like a rlly interesting plot twist
which sucks
bcz I don't rlly get to feel much excitement often
and it's like
my 3 emotions are Happy Sad and Angry
and I was really looking forward to playing this game
because it looked cool
and now it's ruined it for me
and I know I should get over it but like,,,,,,
LMAO NO
getting over it is for LOOOOOOOOSSSSSERRRRRSSSSSSSS
but wh8ever
my computer sounds like a jet engine
it pisses me off
lmao
so
fuck
lmao
I say so fuck a lot lmao
so fuck
I quit therapy
bcz fuck CAMHS LMAO
therapist was super fucking invasive
even when I made it loud and clear I didn't wanna talk abt
certain subjects(tm)
so fuck
shit did I mention I hate my body?
I should lose weight lmao
like a lot of weight lmao
like enough weight to kill me lmao
okay maybe not that much lmao
but I should totally start purging
or just eating less lmao
I have some marbles in a bag lmao
lmao
so
fuck
how long is this fuckin post lmaoooo
lmao
so fuck
I'm glad y'all don't know my
SUPER SECRET SIDE BLOG(TM)
b8sically that's where I put
The Shit(TM)
I'm kinda in my yandere era over there, it's cringe
but though I am cringe, I am free
or not, for we are all shackled by capitalism
but wh8ever
I kinda just post about BOO HOO LOVE ME
it's pure emotion compressed into word form
(cringe)
mayyyyyyybe I'll put it at the end of one of these if I do another
for only the most dedicated of readers
LMAO
I stole a bunch of shit from that therapy place b4
yk
I left 4 4evrsies
some toys
and this shitty game called Scridoodle or wh8evr
lmao
I have crippling insomnia and a fear of school
and I've lost my motivation
and I hate life
LMAO
so shit
I'm not gonna kill myself lmao
I'm too much of a coward for that
plus I'd miss sakkakukukukukukukukukuku(kuku)
I'm tired tho
I need to work on headspace
need to add an aquarium
lmao
okie dokies, that's all
buh bye, superstars
(ugh, I remember when I used to end my posts with that,,,,)
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The only real reason I’d like to lose weight is because I look like my mom. Not my motivation for exercising tho. Idk why it’s different now than in the past, maybe because losing weight was my motivation then? But now I just enjoy going to the gym. Plus my emotional state is more balanced and I have more energy to get things done that I’ve been putting off. It’s kept me on track with eating healthier too. I cook every meal and actually think about nutrients and vitamins, otherwise I’ll feel like shit while at the gym if I just eat junk food. I don’t stretch as much as should tho. Getting to the age where you realize you actually have to do maintenance on your body. Now if only my insurance will approve my sleep apnea shit.
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(7)
iokay quick like. rant i guess??
aghh im confused on my feelings lmaooo so BASICALLY ,,, i have my boyfriend right okay okay great ! however comma, im not sure if like. ugh how do i explain it? like i think im getting nervous cus like. i’ve never had someone that didn’t just want me for my body like he REALLY loves me and its just. its strange i guess? cus my last two boyfriends have only wanted me for sex (which didn’t happen) and they only lasted 2 weeks and 1 week because i wouldn’t bang em :( but like, my bf right now doesn’t even care if we do silly shit like that. like he just. he’s like a dog i guess, he’s just happy being around me even if we aren’t talking. and im not used to that I guess? like he’s there for me when im sad and he’s seen me at my ugliest and like. i’d be fucking stupid to break up with him and thats not what i want to do. i dont know im just confused on his motives i guess? like im his first girlfriend (somehow idk) and i wonder sometimes if he really loves me or if he just loves the idea of being able to say he has a girlfriend (although im sure thats not true) and i dont wanna bring any of this up to him because then i’ll feel bad .. uaghhhhHHH idk man idk. and like he says things that maybe he thinks is sweet like okay heres an example; we’ll be cuddling and whatnot and he’ll like be holding me and his hand will be on my stomach and he’ll kinda squeeze me a little and say something along the lines of like, “i love that you’re squishy” and i FUCKING HATE ITTTTT but like i wont tell him because he doesn’t mean any harm by it you know? he loves me no matter what but i just hope once i lose weight he wont stop loving me you know? like im really weary about him only loving me because of what i look like rn (even tho i dont think i look too good rn LMAO) uaghhh whatever i’ll get over it its cus im on my period rn i bet anyways thats it ig. later.
-z
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Day: 18
I guess pasta would b my weakness cuz its so good lol, or maybe macarons ❤️
Day: 19
perhaps two daez ago, i gotz onion rings & was forced 2 get chicken nuggets as protein but i only ate the onion rings, felt rlly icky after....
Day: 20
n o t h i n g
Day: 21
i wear a variety of clothes made for different bodies but
xsmall 4 crop tops
small 4 shirts made for chicks
medium 4 mens/unisex shirts cuz its baggy & comfortable
whatever looks liek it would fit me in jeans
Day: 22
well my lowest weight would obviously b my birth weight lmao but the lowest i remember was in 5th wen i waz 93 pounds & dats one of my goals but my ultimate goal weight is 70 lol, if i don't look liek a pretty skeleton then, i'll probably lower my ugw.
Day: 23
YES YES YES liek 80%, tumblr has been helping sm with trying 2 lose but i definitely have other social media as inspo, media is a big factor in my endeavor 2 b a pretty little skeleton lolzz
Day: 24
ohh well i don't support it wen other people r trying to lose weight in an unhealthy way but 4 me, mia and ana are definitely big inspirations
Day: 25
oh god ive probz purged first in 4th or 5th but i don't really remember, i think one of the first times may have been the summer of 2020 after getting home from da grocery store but i soon decided the toilet isn't the best place so i do it in the back yard now 🤢🤢
(i honestly love answering questions liek these, answering questions in general is rlly fun and keeps my mind off of other tingz<3)
Day: 26
omg there are SO MANY TINGZ but i'll name a few, bloody mary will stop visiting if i reach my ugw the right way, BIGGER THIGH GAP, SMALLER WRISTS, people will wanna carry me mor becuz i'll b so tiny, FLAT STOMACH because ive nvr experienced actually having a flat stomach w/o having 2 suck it innnn, everything abt it is just so nice
Day: 27
I chew gum, drink sm water my stomach starts to hurt, go on my phone, and if i do end up giving in i'll def panic and purge after, but sometimes i'll take some if i have 2 and just go throw it away somewhere, gives me a sense of self control and makes me feel nice
Day: 28
obviously, as i said in one of da other days, i already have a slight gap as long as im sitting with my knees slightly bent, and it motivates me sm, but i want it so when i stand up itz there, it'd be so nice, my thighs wouldn't chaf, and tights wouldn't stretch so you can actually c the pattern!!
Day: 29
OMGGZZZ, my answer is gunna b seeww toxic but for me personally, soft everything, lots of pink in places liek knees, or just joints in general, pretty eyes, and just hot, yk?? people with an alternative style (not egirls/eboys tho) r rlly pretty, but it just depends~
Day: 30
i didn't get 2 write my stats for day 1 so i'll write em for day one and then for today
Weight: 118
Height: 5'1 and 2/3
Stats for today:
Weight: 103.8
Height: 5'2???
Here r sum facts!!
---------------------
I rlly like fruits, especially mangos and mango flavored anything
Im not a very picky eater, i just think cantaloupe is barf in fruit form, rlly gross
I h8 my dad with all the fat covered bones in my body
and im dickprived 💔💔💔
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trying not to have a panic attack lol
#personal#vent#ed tw#thinking about how i need to lose weight bc i look awful#im not even eating much yet im losing nothing i think having an ed for a decade has seriously fucked up my metabolism#i just want to never eat again i fucking hate eating so much i hate food#have never enjoyed it.... ive never had a healthy relationship with food due to my childhood and i doubt i ever will tbh#also upset bc im having to reset my laptop bc it wouldnt boot up properly just out of nowhere it fucked up like??? i didnt do anything#its not even an old laptop either so idk...#ive legit been waiting for it to reset for like 3 hours now so thats... great... im so impatient#pissed bc this shit always happens when i finallt have motivation i was gonna actually create stuff but i guess not#finally have the motivation to do somethinf other than just stare at the ceiling all day/sleep but the world wont let me so poggers bro#self harm tw#also doesnt help that my urges to harm myself have been more persistent than usual#plus the whole health shit that im going thru.. but thats something im kinda used to even tho its exhausting still#fml maybe ill just die lol jk.. unless
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I posted 933 times in 2021
315 posts created (34%)
618 posts reblogged (66%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 2.0 posts.
I added 1,051 tags in 2021
#ask - 183 posts
#whump - 106 posts
#illustration - 105 posts
#sketch - 105 posts
#anon - 103 posts
#doodle - 103 posts
#art - 100 posts
#drawing - 99 posts
#painting - 79 posts
#albus - 68 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#............................................................................................................................................
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Creepy whumpees caring for their feverish whumpees and casually saying they like them better like that. So obedient and pliant, but above them all, they look so pretty with their flushed cheeks and glassy eyes. They wish they could keep them that way forever
110 notes • Posted 2021-10-30 02:20:39 GMT
#4
Read this one Zhongli and Childe fic and this scene just screamed at me to draw it so. Here.
@rice-hime (hope you like it!)
117 notes • Posted 2021-11-18 15:53:09 GMT
#3
I love gentle caretakers as much as the next person, but I do love rough handling in the early recovery.
Caretakers that find their feverish whumpee has an infection they have to drain and clean and they´re doing their best, but whumpee keeps swatting and hissing and the biting is the last string before Caretaker immobilizes them roughly and cleans the wound so harshly Whumpee can´t help but cry in agony.
Just the way Caretaker tries so hard to be gentle but Whumpee is so feral they just resort to their size and weight to overtake them to the point they´re both hissing warnings and insults at each other, before Whumpee slowly starts to give in because they´re used to rough handling, but they´re feeling...good? They´re not being extremely hurt?
Pulling on their hair while brushing still hurts tho, (it´s so matted after all) but it feels so light to have it cut and then, Caretaker is sure to put on thick gloves because there´s no way Whumpee will let them wash their hair, but to their surprise Whumpee just goes still with their hair mussing up on the warm water.
More Caretakers that have to handle unruly Whumpees with force that slowly washes away their fury and distrust, please.
296 notes • Posted 2021-08-20 23:50:17 GMT
#2
@whumpmasinjuly Let´s make a meme for day 13! :)
531 notes • Posted 2021-07-14 02:20:47 GMT
#1
do you have any advice for younger / newere writers? you write so much and you're very skilled! i'm inspired by you
Aww thanks! Maybe I write a bit too much ahaha.
Well, idrk what you’re searching advice for so I will give general tips.
Before writing:
Do your research. Not only about the subject, but if there’s people out there who have also thought about the idea and have a tag for it.
Set a goal. I suck at this myself, but having a not-rigid word count goal (with timer if it makes you feel more motivated) really get your gears going. There’s a few pages that make it more entertaining too!
Warm up Drabbles. Nothing better than writing something adjacent to what you really want to write just to warm up and get a bit more creative so you hit the zone quicker.
This is optional but if you have time, make a page for your characters and setting. Like a reference page so you don’t go write someone is 160 cm when you have already said they’re 178.
While writing:
Limit your editing. It’s tempting to correct in the moment, (more if you’re unsure about grammar) but sometimes while fixing something you lose your pace and in the worst cases, forget where you were going. Editing can come later.
If you’re gonna have CW at the top, highlight the key words so it’s easier to go through it later.
After writing:
Don’t delete your scrapped ideas. You don’t know when you might wanna use that idea, so even if it’s never used having an scrap document for them is great.
If you didn’t like the end product altogether, it’s fine to put it aside for a while and come back to it later to see if it really should be abandoned in the scrap document or tossed away. Sometimes a little bit of time makes the errors look less severe and fixable and the good things to pop out more. Let it brew!
Pass your text through a beta reader and a program that allows you to correct your grammar and spot typos.
To gain attention:
Quick note here, don’t get discouraged if you don’t receive millions of likes in your first chapter. Sometimes it takes two projects or more to get traction. Keep going regardless of numbers! They don’t dictate how good you are!
Interact with others. Slide into inboxes, participate in ask and tag games, reblog other people’s fics, make collabs. most people are cool with being tagged in games even if you’re not mutuales with them so don’t be shy! Although, Don’t just talk to people to use their following.
Take part in writing/drawing challenges. July has the @whumpmasinjuly event with a prompt list, as there is events like the month of writers, nanowrimo, whumptober, etc.
Keep writing and explore other ideas besides your comfort zone. This started as a whump writing blog, but evolved into positivity, some art and writing (even occasional thoughts and poetry) The variety lends itself to grow your range of public and to expand your creative library.
Promote yourself. Shamelessly self reblog your favorite fics, or just reblog it for the timezone difference. You’re proud of what you wrote and I’m proud of you for writing it, but sometimes tumblr sucks and I won’t see it immediately. So don’t be afraid of reblogging your own things!
Make your own events and ask games. DTIYS, requests, giveaways when you hit a follower milestone. If you have the time for it and have fun doing it, go for it!
This is my personal opinion, but having visuals for your story such as mood boards, picrews, illustrations, etc. Makes me more interested in a story. It’s also an easy way to present your characters to your readers.
Have fun. It’s noticeable when an author is having fun writing it and when it feels like a chore. I’m not telling you to absolutely love it, just to trust in yourself and what you’re doing a bit. If it doesn’t feel right, revision it. If you can’t find it, hand it to someone and ask for their opinion. Not having fun doing what you love hurts like a bitch, and it just rubs salt in the wound when it flops or you can’t stand reading through it. So, explore ideas, maybe go back to your comfort to come back to the new a bit less scared. Or maybe find new inspirations so you can go rush and add new stuff and weed out what doesn’t seem right.
Overall that’s it I think. @ashintheairlikesnow has a great tag for new writers in her blog so I advice to check that out and ask more people. @thewritershandbook is also a good resource place!
Good luck anon! I’ll be cheering on you.
832 notes • Posted 2021-06-29 19:19:54 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
----
Honestly, I´m not even surprised there´s nothing of my writing there, but I truly appreciate all the support given throughout this year! I hope the next one is a good one for all of us.
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