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ladyartemesia · 4 years

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Fic recs for taehyung? I love your stuff btw I’ve read them all uwu

As a beacon of extra-ness in an already extra world, I am entirely incapable of just recommending fics like a normal blog. No. I’ve got to wax on like a bloomin connoisseur. I have compiled some (but not all) of my favorite works in several different categories and sorted them accordingly. This crazy list is so long I had to add a “keep reading”... but I simply couldn’t bear to leave any of these off the list. They are all so good!

Fics have been divided into 8 categories. Some are under the cut.

▨ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS and FRIENDS TO LOVERS ▨ ▨ ARRANGED MARRIAGE ▨ ▨ FANTASY ▨ ▨ ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING ▨ ▨ HYBRID and ABO (alpha/omega) ▨ ▨ MULTIPLE PARTNERS ▨ ▨ NEIGHBORS AND ROOMMATES ▨ ▨ TABOO THEMES and DARK FIC (Sex Work/Power Imbalance/Very Unsafe Sex) ▨ ▨

▨ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS and FRIENDS TO LOVERS ▨

Insomnia by @hobiwonder

This is one of those fics I read and literally could not stop thinking about. It is wildly hot and honestly hilarious. Poor reader cannot sleep and the beautiful bro she’s tutoring offers a rather unconventional solution.

(Ego) Hoe Chronicles: KTH by @suga-kookiemonster

Listen. If you find a niche fan blog devoted entirely to Ego Tae... I’m not gonna say it’s mine. But it’s probably mine. I once told suga-kookiemonster that I would literally read a story about Ego Tae going grocery shopping on a Wednesday night and I stand by that. In this lurid romp, the reader falls into the clutches of everyone’s favorite bohemian sex lord and he rails her into another dimension.

Falling, Falling, Gone by @johobi

Pining (mutual or otherwise) is not really my thing, but I would straight up read Jo’s laundry list if she posted it. As usual I was blown away by how everything she does seems somehow better than any other version of it. This reader is really unique as well, and her relationship with the wildly popular soccer star Tae comes to a sexy and hilarious head at a sort of bachelor auction. With sharp dialogue, delightful subtext, and fantastic side characters, you really shouldn’t miss it. It’s pretty much perfect.

A Friendly Favor by @baeseoul

This is the classic “teach me some sex for another woman” trope and it is done so well. Sweet best friend Tae is looking to benefit from your experience, but his is not the only world about to be thouroughly rocked.

Officer Kim and the Criminal Crush by @ddaengyoonmin

This is one of the best twists on childhood friends to lovers I have ever seen. Tae grows up to become a cop and reader grows up to be a societal menace. I won’t spoil it, but it’s the perfect blend of nostalgia, tenderness, and smut. This fic technically doesn’t have a name so I had to give it one to link it. It’s part of an AMAZING series Zoe did that I also highly recommend.

Out of the Blue by @jimlingss

This is one of those stories that blooms throughout the narrative until you are left with this gorgeous flower at the end. I loved the journey of these two characters. It was real and it perfectly captures the experience of finding your soulmate in the person you least expect.

Sin Pijama by @brilliantlybasicb

This fic is a switch culture fic. It is wild wicked hot and this Tae is unreal. I love the way he lets the reader think she is in control just long enough. It is a wild romp with an adorable sequel and honestly you should read it.

Girls Like You by @jjiminah

I was in jjiminah’s asks IMMEDIATELY about this fic because I had FEELINGS. The reader begins wordlessly teasing and tempting Tae on their morning bus ride every day until he is literally losing his mind. Everything that follows is fire. Jjiminah has hinted she will wrote more for these two and I NEED IT.

Sighs and Sonnets by @btsaudge

This fic is beautiful. Like it’s basically art. This is a bad boy who is bad for you. But he has the soul of a poet and the stroke game of a renaissance master. Bittersweet and seductive, this fic is a full experience.

The Text by @taetaesbaebaepsae

Tae is your friend with benefits but it looks like feeling may have been caught by one or more parties. When you attempt to soothe your aching heart with another pretty boy, Tae decides to stake his claim. This was very sexy. The whole fic was sexy.

▨ ARRANGED MARRIAGE ▨

Monster by @neonlights92

Monster and all of its companion series about each of the boys is one of those fics that I reread constantly and also just think about constantly. This is one of the best mafia AUs out there and it’s characters are vivid and unforgettable. Tae’s stubborn resistance to his lovely new wife in contrast with her quiet, clever strength really brings this story to life. A word of warning. The masterlist links are a bit messed up. To read part two you must click on part three. And to read part three must click on part four. The link to part four is at the bottom of part three (or you can just search it on her site. It is definitely all there though).

Dichotomy by @kpopfanfictrash

There is a reason the incomparable Shanna is on this list three times. She is truly incomparable. This is childhood friends-to enemies-to spouses and it is wonderful. I adore this Tae. He is sharp and vulnerable and occasionally heavy handed, but truly a gem. This fic also features one of the best angry sex scenes I’ve ever run my eyeballs across.

▨ FANTASY ▨

Chism by @kpopfanfictrash

The world-building in this story is genuinely awe inspiring. You could write series upon series within this vivid universe. The god of Winter is missing and Summer’s heat burns unchecked for many years. The reader is a warrior with a unique ability tasked with guarding a very interesting prisoner. This story is so good. I mean it is really bloomin incredible. It’s hard to say what I liked best about it, because it was stellar across the board.

Obsidian by @kpopfanfictrash

In the pantheon of delicious Tae incarnations, Obsidian Taehyung is essentially unrivaled as a grey witch who moonlights as a sexy rock star. His extremely erotic clash with a white witch detective plays out as the two of them track down a sinister killer (with the help of some truly memorable side characters).

Out of this World by @ddaengyoonmin

This one is really unique. Tae is a merman scientist on the water planet of Neptune and when the reader and her misguided crew crash into his sea, he takes it upon himself to improve inter-species relations. This fic features excellent world building alongside several twists and surprises. Clever scientist Tae is downright irresistible.

▨ ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING ▨

Picking Flowers by @jamaisjoons

So this story is a journey - truly a beautiful one and it’s a gorgeous addition to the hanahaki genre. There is real pain and I cried real tears, but gosh it was so sexy and so worth it. I was surprised by how truly immersed I ended up in this piece. I lost track of everything else. The end is insanely satisfying, but the journey is really what makes this fic unmissable.

Until Yesterday by @jimlingss

This fic destroyed me slowly then slowly put me together again piece by piece. When I say I went through it - I WENT THROUGH IT. The story is loosely based on the movie “The Vow” and it is just fantastic. Beautiful and tender till the last word.

The Foolish Muse by @bibbykins

This is the story of someone who is deeply in love, but knows they deserve better. It is a sexy and evocative work with allusions to mythology that fit seamlessly into the narrative. I think my favorite part is Tae discovering how much the reader meant to him and what choices ultimately lead them to a really delicious conclusion.

Back to You by @ladyartemesia

The last time I did a fic rec list, it got like 700 notes. Ya girl is not makin the same mistake again. I spent hours on this list. My work is comin along for the ride. Kim Taehyung is the love of your life, until one day he disappears without a trace.

Vacancy by @ppersonna

This one is the only idol AU on the list and I normally don’t read those, but Lindy’s work is too good to miss in any setting. I am thrilled I took a look because what I found was a glimpse into a beautiful relationship that weathers and eventually overcomes the challenges of loving in the limelight. There is a LOT of emotional depth and symbolism which really elevates everything about this lovely story. The reader’s internal struggles in the face of her lover’s fame are extremely well done.

▨ HYBRID and ABO ▨ (alpha/omega)

Eye of the Tiger by @opaljm

I am beyond hype about this story which is (very) loosely inspired by Zootopia and features a cocky tiger Taehyung and a fiesty prey hybrid he needs to fake date in order to keep panther Jimin from murdering him. (Tiger Tae got a tad too frisky around Jimin’s mate and now things are dangerously awkward.) This story is already so freakin good. I cannot wait for the rest.

Silver and Blue by @taetaewonderland

What happens when you get on the wrong side of the right werewolf? Very sexy - very crazy times. Chronologically this is the first of the Silver and Blue series which follows barely civilized were-Tae through his courtship and eventually his relationship with the spunky reader. Holla to all my impreg kink homies. This is the fic for you.

Heat Run by @ladyartemesia

As I said before, the last time I did a fic rec list, it got like 700 notes. Ya girl is not makin the same mistake twice. I spent hours on this list. My work is comin along for the ride. Alpha lawyer V is a man of many secrets, but his well ordered reality spirals wildly out of control when he crosses paths with a fiery omega set on saving the world from his wicked ways.

Beautiful Stranger by @interludemoonchild

This was a wild ride from start to finish. Taehyung is a tiger hybrid shifter who escapes from the circus to be close to a veterinary student he bonded with. There is a lot of interesting twists and surprises in this one. I was definitely screaming at the end.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by @jingabitch

A very young wolf hybrid Taehyung adopts you as his pet human when you are just a kid. After Tae leaves to serve in the military he returns to an adult version of his sweet little princess and chaos ensues. Mind the tags for this one folks. It’s excellent, but there are very triggering themes throughout.

▨ MULTIPLE PARTNERS ▨

Level of Restraint by @lemonjoonah

This is not strictly a Tae fic in that he is only one of three major players in this twisted masterpiece. Lemon is the undisputed queen of the surprise twist and this one is truly brilliant. People dropped this fic in the discord calling it the best fan fiction they had ever read and I am not here to argue with them at all. Fair warning, every word - every inch of this fic is sexy and it’s delicious brand of titillation is wrapped around your psyche good and tight by the end.

Four by @luxekook

The quadruplets next door are fueling your very lurid fantasies. It turns out they have some fantasies of their own... You will need water if you read this fic. This is the original patented Kim Taehyung Horny Hive Mind 4D Experience™

▨ NEIGHBORS AND ROOMMATES ▨

The Heat Wave Series by @curly-bangtan

The original story (chapter 1) in this series is definitely famous, but I don’t know how many people have read all 9 chapters and if you haven’t, you are really missing the incredible journey of two very horny idiots stumbling recklessly towards real and amazing love. Everything is set off when the air conditioner breaks and a pair of wild roommates shed their inhibitions along with their clothes.

Flicker by @chimoona

So this fic started out with adorable neighbor dynamics and ended with erotic rope tying. Baby I was ABOUT IT. This was so bloomin hot and also like sweet and tender. Really a sexy and sentimental treasure.

Not Your Typical Flower Shop Story by @jungtaeyoongles

This story goes from “aww” to “WHAT THE-” real quick. Fast paced plot and twist after twist turn the whole flower shop au upside down and then inside out. I can’t say more because spoilers but like - WOW.

▨ TABOO THEMES and DARK FIC ▨ (Sex Work/Power Imbalance/Very Unsafe Sex)

Extracurricular by @ppersonna

One of my favorite professor-student AUs. The reader writes her gorgeous professor a borderline erotic analysis of several major works of art and he feels compelled to discuss it with her privately. Lindy really outdid herself on this one. It is scorchin. Professor Tae is actually really sweet and somehow that just makes the whole thing hotter.

Akrasia by @nitaescence

This is insanely hot. Emphasis on the insane because it’s basically a super erotic romp where you have sex with a man you don’t know (Taehyung) on a crowded public bus. I literally felt my blood pressure going up the longer I read. Whew.

The Client by @jungkookiebus

This one hit me right in the feels. Taehyung is a sweet and lonely man who has a standing Wednesday appointment with an upscale sex worker. As the story progresses, feelings become involved on both sides. When I say I am checking her page thrice daily for part three... This is so engrossing. And this Tae. I just want to hold him.

Daffodil Dreams by @sombreboy

Tread carefully ladies and gents. This story is excellent, but it is easily the darkest fic on the list and, if you choose to read it, please read the trigger warnings carefully. The reader is a psychologist called in to analyze a very dangerous criminal. As their sessions progress, however, several boundaries are crossed.

Obey by @jjkfire

Taehyung is the most feared and ruthless member of the local mafia and you are the world’s most inept escort. You needed a job, but had no real interest in sex work and you’ve managed to fly under the radar as a glorified waitress until Kim Taehyung himself walks into your agency and decides that you’re the only girl he wants. Oh my gosh I loved this story so much. It was downright amazing and there is a surprise at the end that makes everything even sweeter.

#kim taehyung #bts #kim taehyung smut #kim taehyung x reader #kim taehung fanfiction #viola recommends #fic recs #I CANNOT BELIEVE TUMBLR FORMATTED MY POST SO MY BANNER IS HIDDEN I WANT TO LITERALLY CRY #TUMBLR we are FIGHTING oh my gosh

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bluebellhairpin · 3 years

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The Kings Queen

King!Erwin Smith X Queen!Reader

A/N: It came to me in a daydream; I was MC; and certain British actor was he. And now it is no longer dream, but reality - if only because now in ink. - Nemo

Summary: In order to get his politicians off his back, Erwin needs an heir. The problem is, he isn’t even married yet. An arranged marriage is set, and his new queen is surprised at how compliant he is at waiting until she is ready.

Warnings: Misogyny is a major one here guys. Arranged Marriage. Age gap (he’s in in forties, and mc is in the twenties area). Talk of pregnancy, and children.

Listening to: ‘Once Upon a December’ from Anastasia (piano version)

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A month ago it scared you, and scared you now. You stood next to a man you didn’t know, vowing your life to him, and all you could think about was how uncomfortable your corset was, how the headpiece dug in behind your ears, and how much you would rather be anywhere else.

Doing anything else.

Being with anyone else.

You wanted to be curled up on the armchair your grandfather made, your younger sisters at your feet next to the fire, as you read aloud to them from a book they probably didn’t understand. Your mother would be on a couch across from you, needlepoint in hand, and your brother and father would walk in. Your father would kiss your mother’s temple, and your brother would join your sisters on the floor, handing them two small, handcrafted, wooden figures.

But instead you were here.

Standing under a chapel steeple, holding a bouquet that was too heavy, in a dress that had too much fabric. Almost half the city was crammed into the pews behind you, eyes hot and boring right into the back of your skull. Your almost-husband at your side. Your king at your side.

You were getting married to Erwin Smith, and he was the monarch of the land you grew up in.

You knew what was to follow. You knew why you were taken from your content life and thrust into the much higher end of high society. You were to give him a child tonight. An heir. And if it were born a girl, then you were to keep giving until it became a boy, and then some.

You weren’t sure if it were that which scared you most, or that you never got the chance to have found a love of your own. You weren’t giving anything up aside from your family in marrying your king. There was no farm boy or baker's daughter that you were leaving behind nor betraying by speaking the vows that came from your mouth.

No others lips had touched yours, and no one else’s fingers had grazed your wrist as Erwin’s did now. You marked off your shivers and incapability to meet his eyes as nerves, and nothing else.

Before you were taken away by your uncle, your mother told you something. She told you to notice things. Notice the people. Give them what they want, graciously, so that they have want for nothing, and then want of their own to spare.

So when you turned around to face those people, the crown which now held both allies and enemies, with your new husband’s arm wound around your waist, you noticed the people. You saw their smiles and cheers and decided to take your mothers words to heart. They were your people now, you were their queen.

So you fought down the nerves, painted on your best smile, and sent greetings and waves to as many as you could as you made your way to your new home.

You had to admit, like most children, you did gaze upon the castle and it’s stone walls, wondering what life behind them was like.

You had been once before, a garden party when you were younger and your brother was only a tot. It was one of the few parties the lesser and higher nobles alike were invited to. As equals. It was the first Erwin held after he was crowned king. He hadn’t had one like it since.

You remember wandering off into the rose maze with your brother's hand in yours. Being only ten years old, your mind made the brush of thorns and baby-pink blooms into a lot more than what they really were. Whether it were to comfort yourself or to keep your brother calm, you made up a little game.

Somewhere in the maze was a dragon; blood red scales and teeth as long and sharp as kitchen knives, a belly full of flames, and a smell for human flesh. If you stayed stagnant too long, it would find you around the next corner and swallow you up in one gnash of it’s jaws.

But there was also a Prince in the maze; brave, gallant, and knight-like in every way possible. With hair golden like fresh cut hay, and eyes as clear and strong as ocean waves. He would wield a sword with a blade so sharp that one blow would send that dragon straight to its death.

Of course you didn’t tell such things to your brother. They were a bit intense for a four-year-old, so you dulled it down a number of notches.

Imagine your surprise when you ran into someone, with hair the colour of fresh-cut hay, and eyes of the clear blue. He offered you his hand, and told you he’d keep you safe from that ‘dragon’ who was chasing you.

And he did stay true to his word. You did get out of the maze safely, even if there was no dragon he was protecting you and your brother from.

You remember that boy, a man really, and how he was handsome with his youthful features. Back then you didn’t know who he was. Namely that not only a few months ago he really was a prince, and that now he was the king hiding from most of his own party guests.

That was around fifteen years ago, naturally things were a little different this time around.

This time the party was inside, with tables stocked with foods - some you’d never even seen before - and candelabra’s. The room was already filled with guests, chattering and laughing, some even dancing with did bring a smile to your face. There was a group in the corner, playing instruments in all forms available. You had been changed before you joined your husband in a chair slightly smaller than his. Apparently being seen in your wedding dress at your wedding reception wasn’t proper, and that you needed to wear a more dulled-down version to eat.

The corset was just as tight.

You’d barely said more than a few words to him, and now here you were.

You excused yourself early from the celebrations, and no one batted an eyelid. ‘Preparing’ yourself might be proper.

There was a lady, a bit older than yourself, named Nanaba. She helped you out of the stifling corset and the wads of white fabric. The putting on of the night slip and it’s robe was a lot nicer. It did not require a corset, as nice as it might make you look. She sent in for some tea, and once it arrived she excused herself.

You wish you’d spoken to her more. She was nice. And it may have calmed your nerves a little. But you didn’t and you couldn’t will yourself to do anything except cling to the bedpost furthest from the door and wait. Luckily you didn’t have to wait long.

The door opened, and in stepped your king. You found yourself sucking in a breath, nails grazing into the polished wood, and you cast your eyes down to put yourself in check before looking up at him. He looked over at you, smiling lightly and shed his outer layer of clothes before sitting down at one of the chairs near the fire Nanaba lit earlier.

You wondered what he was waiting for.

“Come sit, please.” he said, shuffling a little to set up two dainty tea cups. “This is your home too now, the last thing I want is for you to be uncomfortable.”

You let out a quiet puff of air, playing with the new ring on your finger before making your way over to the chair opposite him.

“You are quite timid, aren’t you?” he mused, offering you a steaming cup, “I supposed though anyone would be all things considered.” He sat back, and you finally took a moment to notice how much he had to be admired. ‘Handsome’ was barely a word to describe him, but those blue eyes, and his hair looked like it would be soft to touch. It made you think of that ‘prince’ from the game you made up in the rose maze outside. What luck would bring you both to meet a second time.

He caught your eye again as he took a sip of his drink.

“You can take comfort in knowing nothing will happen tonight, nor any night in the foreseeable future.” he said, voice hushed and quiet and indeed comforting. “We are barely acquaintances, let alone friends or lovers.”

You couldn’t help but gape at him, letting your tea get colder.

“B-but why? You need a child, I… I-I’m here to give you one -”

“- no, that what all those lords want. The child that they want me to have is going to be yours too. It’s not my body that will be their home for the first nine months of their life. I admit,” he said, setting his cup aside, “I will need an heir eventually, but it’s no matter or urgency to me.”

“Not until I’m ready?”

“Not until you are ready.” he nodded.

“That’s very kind of you, your majesty.”

“Call me Erwin,” he said, taking to his knee as the glow of the fire reflected off his face, “At least when it is just us. Please?”

You let out a laugh, light with nerves and giddy fluttering in your heart, and brought a hand up to your mouth as you turned to compose yourself. You turned back with a smile to see his face matching yours.

Who knew you were seemingly fretting for nothing.

“Only if you also call me by my name.”

It was a well-known fact to even the ‘commoners’ that there were not many men in the kings court who were good people.

Within your first week of living in the palace you knew Erwin was one of them.

Despite his often off and rough ways of getting to and around things, he was a good man. He did have a good heart.

Another was a much older man named Dot Pixis. He had an odd manner of speaking, and his ways were not always perfect. But he always went out of his way to treat you kindly - something many others viewed as easily brushed aside - and he had a loyalty and trust to Erwin that you sensed not everyone had.

You also took kindly to Levi Ackerman and Miche Zacharias, both head guards set to protect Erwin and yourself, respectively. They both did marvelous jobs, for you nor Erwin had been hurt by someone will ill-intent yet. And despite both their quiet natures they were nice. At least Miche was. But they weren’t really ‘in parliament’.

Nile Dok was the only other of those men that didn’t send your gut reeling in some way. He had a family on his own, too, and you’d seen how he treated them the morning after your wedding night. He truly loved them, and a man who loved his family like that was one who you trusted. Your own father was like that with you.

Many other new friends were found in your new home, too. Hange was the head librarian, and with the help of Moblit the rows and rows of books were kept - not organized per say - but everything did have a place.

There were those in the kitchens, and the gardeners, maids, and military personnel. You made sure to greet them all when you could. You were more than happy when they returned the gesture, even if a little more than some of them didn’t.

But there were people you didn’t trust at all. They made your skin crawl. You knew you didn’t come from a lot, and didn’t expect the same respect that Erwin had, but what they showed towards you? Even Nanaba commented how you should be treated better.

However they would never treat you any less than a queen unless you were with Erwin. Unless you were with your husband, the most powerful man in the country. As much as you liked Erwin, and come to even love him in some very small way over such a short amount of time, you didn’t like that.

You didn’t like how you couldn’t get their respect unless you were standing next to him.

So you made up your mind.

#medieval au #erwin smith x reader #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #king erwin #commander erwin smith x reader #call me the au master

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tigerkirby215 · 3 years

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5e Sona, the Maven of the Strings build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Shilin Huang. Made for Riot Games.)

(Shit meme by yours truly.)

Revealing my Champion Mastery just to say that I play a lot of Sona. Don’t flame me for playing Seraphine and Yuumi I swear to god, and I have no idea why Teemo is in my top 10 highest mastery champs ngl.

Anyways you have no idea how happy I am as a Sona main that my girl is now top tier. I came to League of Legends from Overwatch (yes really) and I used to main Lucio in OW along with some of the more “techy” characters like Symmetra and Torbjorn. (Came to OW from TF2 where I mained Engineer and Medic.) Sona was a natural fit for me as a champion who was both easy to play and very similar to Lucio. It also helps that I joined the Rift during the single most engaging meta to ever grace this game. I was kinda too shit to play Janna but the Ardent Censer meta is also why I have such a high mastery on Lulu tbh.

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But enough about my history with League: Sona! Honestly when I think of an archetypical support Sona pops into my head a lot sooner than Soraka: a champion based on empowering their teammates in as many ways as possible with heals, shields, movement speed, and CC to hold the enemy team down. I’ve always loved playing her because she feels like much more of a macro oriented character than other supports, with team-wide support as opposed to keeping one person alive like Soraka or Yuumi or focusing on CC like Morgana and Nami.

I’m going to build most if not all the champions eventually but man I am happy to tackle Sona now. She’s always been on my mind as my main but it was pretty difficult to think of how to make her. I think this build is good enough though!

Wow that was much longer of an intro than I’m used to. You can really tell which champions I’m excited for lol.

GOALS

Everything in harmony - Sona boosts everyone on her team with her songs as they fill the air.

Triple time! - Sona’s ability to boost her whole team into a good position is always beneficial.

Crescendo! - Fun fact: Sona’s ultimate is canonically extremely painful as she forces you to contort your limbs against your will. Why is Sona needlessly macabre? Well remember that Riot also wrote Volibear as an Eldritch old god.

RACE

Sona is Human but if you want to be cool you can make her a Kalashtar for resistance to Psychic damage and advantage on Wisdom saves. Regardless we’re going to be making what’s known as a dollar store Kalashtar with Variant Human. Increase your Charisma by 1 as well as your Constitution because we kinda don’t need much else. You also get proficiency in one skill of your choice which will of course be Performance, and a language which you can pick as you fancy: you won’t be speaking it anyways lmfao.

That’s because “Only you can hear me summoner; what masterpiece shall we play today?” Grab the Telepathic feat to complete this dollar store Kalashtar package. Increase your Charisma score by 1 and get a 60 foot telepathy to speak while being mute. You also learn the Detect Thoughts spell and can cast it once without using a spell slot. "Did he want... four autographs? I don't understand."

ABILITY SCORES

15; CHARISMA - Charisma is tied to performance and all the other stuff a Demacian noblewoman is expected to be good at.

14; DEXTERITY - Something something medium armor; even if you wear a dress there’s no reason you can’t have some padding beneath it!

13; STRENGTH - Hey this isn’t something something medium armor!

12; CONSTITUTION - Sona may be squishy in League but I value not dying more than good skill checks honestly.

10; WISDOM - Speaking of not dying: Wisdom saves are more common, and Insight is more useful than most Intelligence skills.

8; INTELLIGENCE - We had to dump something so unfortunately Intelligence gets the short end of the stick. You may have studied under the illustrious Buvelle family but most of those lessons were music classes.

If you want a better stat array going 13 / 14 / 12 / 10 / 10 / 14 with Point Buy is perfectly viable, and if your DM is cool enough to let you multiclass without Strength then you’re more than welcome to dump it.

BACKGROUND

There’s two obvious backgrounds that fit Sona: the first is Entertainer for proficiency with Acrobatics and a skill of your choice (since we already took Performance lol.) You also get proficiency with Disguise Kits and your Etwahl! (That’s what Sona’s instrument is called btw.) Your background feature By Popular Demand allows you to play any stage once. "Some, just the once.” You can perform in exchange for a place to stay, and when you do so the local people will remember your wonderful performance!

But making an Entertainer Bard is kinda cliché, no? If you want to lean into Sona’s Demacian heritage go for the Noble background. This gives you proficiency with Persuasion and History as well as a gaming set of your choice: unfortunately Tellstones isn’t an option (unless your DM decides otherwise!) so a Dragonchess Set will do well enough. Oh and you get another language that you won’t speak: fun! Your Position of Privilege makes it easy for you to arrange meetings with other important people, and the commonfolk will be kind and cordial with you.

(Screenshot from the Tellstones: King’s Gambit trailer by Riot Games.)

I personally opted to go for Noble when making this build, but if you want to choose Entertainer go right ahead! Backgrounds don’t affect too much overall and it’s up to you (and your DM) to make your own Sona!

(Artwork from League of Legends Wild Rift. Made for Riot Games. RIOT PLEASE UPDATE MUSE SONA ON PC I’M BEGGING YOU!)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - BARD 1

I mean what else did you expect? Bards get proficiency in three musical instruments of their choice: a Lyre is the closest you’ll get to Sona’s Etwahl, though a Dulcimer is also pretty close. I’d also recommend grabbing a Lute since most magical instruments come in Lute variety.

You also get proficiency in 3 skills of your choice like Perception to watch wards, Insight to watch people, and Athletics for a bit of Tenacity to break out of grapples. (As well as potentially grab some people yourself! Although Acrobatics is also perfectly fine for escaping grapples.)

As a Bard you can boost your ADC with Bardic Inspiration, letting them add a d6 to attack rolls, ability checks, and saving throws. You have a number of these equal to your Charisma modifier and they come back after a Long Rest.

But of course the main reason to play a Bard is to do Demacian-banned Spellcasting! You learn two cantrips from the Bard list like Vicious Mockery for some diminuendo, making it harder for the enemy to hurt your allies while also cutting them down to size. (I don’t know if your DM will let you slap your Etwahl angrily and then point at them judgingly, but you may have to break your vow of silence every now and then.) You can also learn Prestidigitation for all sorts of general magic stuff that you really shouldn’t do in front of anyone important.

You of course also learn 4 Bard spells like Cure Wounds and Healing Word for the atypical healing spells, Dissonant Whispers for some Hymn of Valor damage, and Detect Magic which you’ll likely be expected to cast as the designated support. *Sigh* Always gotta buy wards.

LEVEL 2 - BARD 2

Second level Bards could be called a Jack of All Trades, as you get to add half your proficiency bonus to any skill you aren’t proficient in. This means even if your ability scores are bad the skills you don’t have proficiency in are still good enough! You also get Song of Rest, letting your allies recover an extra d6 of health during Short Rests. And if you have Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything Magical Inspiration will let your allies add their Bardic Inspiration to the damage or healing of a spell they cast!

And finally you can learn another spell: against as the designated support you’re expected to take Identify.

LEVEL 3 - BARD 3

Third level Bards get Expertise in two skills: Performance is an obvious must and Persuasion would probably be good as well.

But more importantly you get to choose your Bardic College and if you want to both shield your allies and speed them up look no further than the College of Glamour! That’s because Mantle of Inspiration grants 5 temporary hitpoints to a number of creatures within 60 feet of you equal to your Charisma modifier (which can include yourself by the way!) Additionally those creatures can move up to their movement speed as a reaction without provoking opportunity attacks, making this a great tool to reposition an ally who’s caught in a dangerous position!

You’re also capable of creating an Enthralling Performance: if you perform for at least 1 minute, you can attempt to inspire wonder in your audience. At the end of the performance you can choose a number of humanoids within 60 feet of you who watched and listened to all of it, up to a maximum equal to your Charisma modifier. Each target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be charmed by you.

While charmed in this way, the target idolizes you, and speaks glowingly of you to anyone who talks to them. They also hinder anyone who opposes you, although they avoid violence unless it was already inclined to fight for you. This effect ends on a target after 1 hour unless they take any damage, you attack it, or it witnesses you attacking or damaging any of its allies. If a target succeeds on its saving throw the target has no hint that you tried to charm it, and you can use this ability once per Short or Long Rest.

Finally you can learn second level spells like Hold Person, for a one-man version of your ultimate.

LEVEL 4 - BARD 4

Ah the first of many Ability Score Improvements. You may have noticed our deliberately uneven Charisma modifier: that’s because I’m going to be taking the Fey Touched feat for +1 to your Charisma, the Misty Step spell (for Flash, of course), and the Gift of Alacrity spell from Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount for a Song of Celerity! Accelerated movement? I concur.

You can also learn another spell as well as another cantrip! For your cantrip take Mage Hand for help warding those hard-to-reach areas, and for your spell take Lesser Restoration, because yeah it’s also your job to buy Mikael’s. *Sigh.*

LEVEL 5 - BARD 5

5th level Bards get a Font of Inspiration that lets their Bardic Inspiration come back after a Short Rest as well as a Long Rest. That’s good because your Bardic Inspiration increases to a d8, which also boosts your Mantle of Inspiration to grant 8 temporary hitpoints!

You can also learn another spell like Hypnotic Pattern: while it won’t do any damage and your allies can’t hit the dancing enemies it’ll still be the best recreation of your ultimate for now.

(Artwork by Katie “TeaTime” De Sousa. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 6 - PALADIN 1

I hope you weren’t expecting this to be a pure Bard build, because then I’d just be building Seraphine again! Grab your something something Medium Armor as well as a shield (well technically you need both hands free to play a musical instrument) it’s Paladin time, master of auras!

Paladins get a Lay on Hands pool equal to 5 times their Paladin level for some more healing. You can touch a creature to give them any amount of health from your Lay on Hands, or use 5 hitpoints from your Lay on Hands pool to neutralize a poison or disease affecting them. You also get Divine Sense to locate any Celestial, Fiend, or Undead as long as they’re within 60 feet of you and not behind total cover. Don’t worry it gets a lot more exciting later.

LEVEL 7 - PALADIN 2

Second level Paladins can choose their Fighting Style and you’re still more of a mage than a warrior, so Blessed Warrior will give you two cantrips from the Cleric list that use your Charisma! Guidance is an obvious must for a support and Toll the Dead is a great option if you want to go full AP.

Should you have options for attacks to target enemies who have high Wisdom? Yeah probably: Sacred Flame might be a good choice.

Of course cantrips also imply more Spellcasting! You can prepare a number of spells equal to your Charisma modifier plus half your Paladin level (rounded down) which is currently a freaking lot of spells. Let’s just go down the list, shall we?

Bless is great to buff your team and make them harder, better, faster, and stronger.

Command is a mostly harmless Enchantment spell that will force your foes to do as you, well, command. I’d argue “dance” is a reasonable Command.

Protection from Evil and Good is never bad to have in your back pocket in case you’re fighting either Kayle or Fiddlesticks.

And Shield of Faith will let you boost your ADC’s survivability with Ardent Censer!

I know you can prepare more spells but there isn’t much I want from first level of Paladin. I am contractually obligated to mention that you can also turn your spell slots into a Divine Smite if you hit an enemy with a melee weapon, but you aren’t really going to be using weapons in this build. That’s right boys hop aboard the caster Paladin train!

LEVEL 8 - PALADIN 3

Third level Paladins get to choose their Sacred Oath and Oath of the Watchers may seem weird but it’s really good at defending your allies. That’s because you get two different Channel Divinity options: Abjure the Extraplanar works similarly to the Cleric’s Turn Undead feature except it affects Aberrations, Celestials, Elementals, Fey, and Fiends.

Watcher’s Will meanwhile lets you choose a number of creatures you can see within 30 feet of you, up to your Charisma modifier. For 1 minute, you and the chosen creatures have advantage on Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma saving throws. This means that in a party of 6 this ability can give your whole party advantage on all mental saves, which is huge for keeping everyone alive against nasty casters! See? Demacia can use your magic!

Speaking of magic you get Alarm and Detect Magic as Oath spells. (Might want to swap Detect Magic from your Bard list with Mass Healing Word ty Tasha’s.) You can also use Harness Divine Power to regain a spell slot equal to half your proficiency bonus a number of times per Long Rest. And you get Divine Health, because you don’t take a sick day to stop complaining about Seraphine.

LEVEL 9 - PALADIN 4

4th level Paladins get another Ability Score Improvement: cap off that Charisma for maximum AP scaling!

(Artwork by Kelly Aleshire & Esben Lash Rasmussen. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 10 - PALADIN 5

5th level Paladins can finally prepare second level spells! As a Watchers Paladin you get access to Moonbeam as well as See Invisibility, both of which are very good for dealing with incoming gankers.

You can also prepare spells like Aid to boost your allies’ HP, Prayer of Healing (ty Tasha’s) for some out-of-combat healing, and Warding Bond for a Knight’s Vow.

Oh and you get an Extra Attack, which sure would matter if you were actually using weapons.

LEVEL 11 - PALADIN 6

6th level reasons get the main reason Sona’s a Paladin: Aura of Protection! All your saving throws are increased by an amount equal to your Charisma modifier, which is a full +5 currently! But what’s special about this ability is that it also applies to your allies within 10 feet of you, letting you give out auras a plenty to keep your allies safe!

You can also prepare another spell but again: not much I really want. So we’re going to be waiting a little while longer once again.

LEVEL 12 - PALADIN 7

7th level Watchers Paladins get Aura of the Sentinel, or as I like to call it: Song of Celerity. When you or any creature of your choice within 10 feet of you roll for initiative, they gain a bonus to initiative equal to your proficiency bonus. While this may make positioning a little difficult (everyone’s going to have to huddle around you) this ability guarantees that you can speed up all your important allies to make sure they get their powerful abilities off!

LEVEL 13 - PALADIN 8

8th level Paladins get another Ability Score Improvement or a Feat. You may have noticed your uneven Constitution score: grab good ol’ Resilient Constitution for a boost to your health and even more insurance on your Concentration checks. With your Paladin aura and proficiency you’d have a +12 total to your Constitution checks currently, meaning that if you take 24 damage or less you won’t even have to roll for Concentration!

LEVEL 14 - PALADIN 9

You are probably the only Paladin who cares about spells, so it’s nice that you get 3rd level spells now! Watchers Paladins get two very strong third level spells: Nondetection will help you deward and keep your allies safe from enemies that may try to sneak a peak at you, but Counterspell is the true best choice to stop danger from befalling your allies. What’s very good about Counterspell is that as a Bard you get to add Jack of All Trades to the skill check, meaning it’s far easier for you to deny an incomming spell than any other spellcaster! “Mages have enough problems without you.”

Of course you can prepare some more spells like Aura of Vitality for Aria of Perseverance, and Revivify for an ADC’s Guardian Angel. But having access to spells like Remove Curse, Dispel Magic, Crusader’s Mantle, and even Daylight on the Paladin spell list are all extremely useful to be able to prepare. Remember that you are doing yourself a disservice by not taking time to think about what the best spells to prepare would be for your current quest. "Every note is important."

(Artwork by Kelly Aleshire & Esben Lash Rasmussen. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 15 - BARD 6

Now that we’ve got all our auras it’s time to go back to Bard for Mantle of Majesty! As a bonus action, you cast Command without expending a spell slot as you take on an appearance of unearthly beauty for 1 minute. During that minute you can cast Command as a bonus action on each of your turns without expending a spell slot. Additionally any creature charmed by you automatically fails its saving throw against the command you cast with this feature. You do have to concentrate on this feature (like a spell), and once you use it you can’t do so again until you finish a long rest.

You can also learn another spell but there isn’t much I want from the third level of Bard, really. Oh and you get Countercharm which is awful and I hate it, but since you didn’t take a 10th level in Paladin I suppose you have to use it. Spend an action to give allies advantage on their saving throws against charms and fears, I guess.

LEVEL 16 - BARD 7

7th level Bard; 4th level spells. Freedom of Movement will let you help either yourself or an ally with Mikael’s Crucible, and Dimension Door is great to get into lane fast, or back to base fast!

LEVEL 17 - BARD 8

8th level Bards get another Ability Score Improvement, and if you don’t like the look of something something Medium Armor then the Eldritch Adept feat might be able to help. Take the Mask of Many Faces invocation to be able to cast Disguise Self at will to change your skins as you please.

Could you have taken this earlier? Absolutely. Are there better invocations? Yeah probably, but by level 17 you can make some of your own choices. Build your own Sona: this is merely a guide and you can make your own choices.

Speaking of own choices: take whichever spell you want at this level. There’s plenty of great ones for a 4th level Bard and I can’t recommend anything in particular to you. Every musician has their own style, and it’s up to you to find your own!

(Artwork by Yan Li. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 18 - BARD 9

9th level Bards get to pretend that increasing Song of Rest from a d6 to a d8 by total level 18 is helpful.

You do get access to 5th level spells like Mass Cure Wounds, which is like Mass Healing Word but better! "Harmoniously."

LEVEL 19 - BARD 10

10th level Bards get Expertise in two more skills: Perception is an obvious must to watch over your wards but beyond that? Honestly pick your poison with whatever skill you want since by level 19 you can make your own choices. (Though my personal choice would be Athletics to hopefully give some more safety against grapples.)

But of course the main boon of reaching level 10 in Bard is the Magical Secrets! ...I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint you again: there honestly aren’t any spells in particular I want as Magical Secrets. Sure I could recommend spells like Haste or whatever but are they really going to be that great by total level 20? To be honest even the spells on the Bard list like Animate Objects, Greater Restoration, Hold Monster, Rary's Telepathic Bond, Scrying, and Synaptic Static are very good (although I’d sooner replace some of your old spells with them.)

Again I know this is supposed to be a “guide” but most people won’t hit level 19 anyways, so I don’t think it’s that bad for me to recommend you take your own steps to make your own Sona. Hell, build some AP if you want! I know I would!

LEVEL 20 - BARD 11

Our final level is the 11th level of Bard and I’ll be honest: it’s just to add Otto's Irresistible Dance to your spell list. It can only affect one person but it’s still your ultimate by total level 20.

Oh and you were supposed to get a cantrip last level. Uhhhhh I dunno take Mending lol.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

The rhythm connects us all - You have dozens of spells to keep your team alive and active during a fight, not to mention that all your Paladin auras and abilities really help them give 110%. It’s worth mentioning that Gift of Alacrity combined with Aura of the Sentinel is a d8 + 6 to an Initiative roll, which will almost always guarantee that whoever you want to go first will be going first!

A true masterpiece should celebrate living - Despite your somewhat weird level split you maxed out the only stat which matters for you: Charisma. And woah holy shit turns out Paladins are really good with maxed out Charisma! +5 to all saves means even your lowest save is a +4, and the saves your proficient in vary between +13 for Dexterity and Constitution (both very common!) and a whopping +16 save on Charisma!

Curtains up; I'm ready - Jack of All Trades also does quite nicely to help your middling skills. Even though I dumped most of your mental skills you’re still proficient enough that you won’t be completely helpless when caught off guard. And when you’re in the zone with Persuasion or Performance you are easily the best girl around!

CONS

Don't make me get off stage - It was my intention to recreate Sona’s positional gameplay with this build but it does present some gameplay issues when trying to maximize your effectiveness. Where do you position yourself as a character who’s still primarily a squishy caster despite your good saving throws and AC? Can you give everyone in your party support, or are they too spread out to get value out of your 10 foot range auras?

Quiet, please! - You have a damn good concentration check, but what do you concentrate on? Not only do you have a ton of spells but they all scale very good with levels and you have spell slots that go far higher than your maximum level spell. It can be hard to choose what to do with those 7th and 8th level slots.

The world is cruel... Until that changes, I'll never stop playing - One of many “meta” problems with this build was my choice to focus almost entirely on support. Sure Toll the Dead is a great damaging cantrip but your only two damaging spells are Moonbeam and Dissonant Whispers. Again: you don’t have to follow my build point-for-point and while you’ll be flamed in League for building Sona full AP I don’t think your friends will mind if you take some damaging spells.

But if you can’t tell it was really hard for me to come up with those downsides. With the exception of the positional requirements a Bardadin is a very strong build and Sona is a very strong support. Boost your teammates with your own amazing power and make sure everyone’s alive and jamming! Your power may have been forgotten over the years but no one’s ever upset to have a great support at their side. And remember: Seraphine may be in K/DA but you’re in Pentakill, and you have your own label! No one can replace DJ Sona!

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silkling · 3 years

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Hey, Can you make (Bayverse) Starscream meets (TFP) Knock Out?

Knock Out came to with an aching helm and a curse on his lips. He groaned as he sat up, one palm dressing to his forehead and blinking away the static overlaying his vision. He looked around himself once he could see clearly, pausing when he noticed that he was in the middle of an organic forest. The realization made his upper lip curl faintly, and he looked down at himself. And that was when he froze in horror. His finish! It was ruined! There were scrapes in the paint and he was covered in all manner of dirt and other organic filth. He hated it. The medic scowled as he stood, red optics shining with rage. Whoever was responsible for this was going to pay very dearly, he decided. For now, though, he had to get back to base.

He paused as he heard jet engines overhead, optics narrowing. Now, was that one of the little squishies or was it one of the Decepticons? That question was answered when there was the sound of a transformation and a heavy metal form crashed through the tree tops to land in front of him. A red gaze landed on him, and Knock Out could see rage and disgust building in the flyer’s optics before he paused. The look was replaced with confusion and suspicion, and then he spoke.

“Autobots do not usually have red optics.” he growled, voice deep and with a permanent growl woven into it. “Yet I know of no Decepticon who wears such bright colors.” Those optics narrowed to pinpricks. “Speak, stranger. Who are you?”

It was at this point the medic paused. How did this flyer not know who he was? Knock Out was the only proper doctor in the entirety of the Decepticon army. (No, Hook did not count. He did not have the training or the license, for all he had the learned skill). All the others had been offlined in the War. He would have thought that every bot on either side knew him, if only because they knew what he was.

“I am Knock Out.” he said carefully. “And who are you?”

The flyer grinned here, the look savage and far to gleeful for his comfort. “I am Starscream, second in command of the Decepticons!” he announced.

Knock Out blinked slowly, once, twice, then a third time, before fury twisted his features and he let loose a litany of vicious, filthy curses in Cybertronian, combining several dialects and even throwing in one or two curses from the dead languages he’d enjoyed studying in his youth. It made Starscream rear back, optics wide with shock and and EM field buzzing with disbelief. After several long minutes, in which the Seeker could only stare in a growing sense of horrified fascination, (wait, Knock threatened to do what with an engine and an intake? Ouch. Starscream did not want to be in the place of whatever poor fool as angered the bright red Cybertronian), the Aston Martin spit out one last curse before his expression smoothed over and he turned to the Seeker. Starscream, by this point, had taken several steps back and was now hoping that this bot wouldn’t turn his ire on him.

“So sorry about that.” Knock Out said lightly. “I’m afraid I just understood how I got here, and the mech responsible for this mess is going to feel every bit of my wrath when I return.”

Starscream blinked. “I…see.” he said carefully.

Knock Out smirked. “I don’t think you do, so allow me to re-introduce myself.” He stepped forward, crossing an arm across his chest. “My name is Knock Out.” he said with a flourish. “Chief medic to the Decepticons.” he finished his introduction with a dramatic bow.

Starscream sneered. “Impossible!” he snarled. “The Decepticons have no medic. Our last one was offlined by Optimus Prime. This must be some puny Autobot trick!

Knock Out blinked. “Goodness, Sweet Rims actually offlined a bot that wasn’t just a Vehicon drone?” he mused. “This really is different.”

The Seeker reared back, reeling over the fact that this so-called “medic” had just called Optimus Prime Sweet Rims, of all things. Then the second statement caught up to him and he frowned. “Different.” he repeated in a deadpan.

“Yes!” Knock Out threw his hands to the air, the gesture wide and dramatic. “You see, my dear Starscream,” he purred, clasping his hands behind his back. “I am from another dimension entirely.”

Well, that was a new one.

“Explain.”

“In my world, the Great War between the Decepticons and Autobots ended up being brought to a small organic planet called Earth. I assume it’s the same here.” he said, gesturing around them. “Recently, Lord Megatron, that is, my Lord Megatron became aware of the existence of the Iacon Relics. They’re powerful artifacts that were stored in the vaults of Iacon before it’s destruction, and sent away from the planet before they could come into Decepticon possession.” he said. “Lord Megatron learned that possessing the relics granted whoever had them a rather significant advantage, especially certain specific relics like the Relics of the Primes.”

Starscream snorted. “Get to the point.”

Knock Out sighed dramatically. “Oh, very well.” he drawled. “The point is: myself and my partner were sent to retrieve a relic that had only just began putting out a detectable signal. According to our data files on it, it had been created by the old Senate before the war. Unfortunately, the research notes on the subject were corrupted, but what little of the research was clear suggested that the device had been created to study the multiverse theory.” Here, he paused and glanced around himself. “Given that you’re Starscream, and the Starscream I know looks nothing like you, and you do not know me, and the Decepticons have no medic…” he trailed off, raising his hands, palms up as he shrugged. “It would seem that the device was for more than just researching the multiverse theory. The last thing I remember is grabbing it and making for the ground bridge, only for that Pit damned Wrecker to shoot the device in hopes of keeping it from falling into Decepticon hands. Then there was a flash of light and a surge of energy, and what do you know, I’m waking up here!” he finished, through his arms out with a flourish.

Starscream frowned. That…actually lined up. He had been sent ahead of Sideways and Barricade, who were also on their way to this location, because the sensors at the hidden Decepticon base had picked up a surge of unknown energy. If Knock Out was the cause of that surge, and given the fact he was here at its location he might very well be, then it would stand to reason that his story was actually true. Even aside from that, Starscream could pick up no deception in his field or EM field. Granted, bots could still lie even without their voices or fields giving it away, but Starscream was a master at lying, and prided himself on being able to sniff out deception like a turbo-fox sniffing out cyber-rats. Nothing he could tell suggested Knock Out was lying. Which meant his story was, at the very least, partly true.

“I see.” he said, voice devoid of any intonation.

The medic narrowed his optics at the seeming non-reaction, his arms crossing almost delicately in front of his chassis. Something about the way this Starscream had said that made his instincts itch. He didn’t like it. This version of the Air Commander was so very different from his. His Starscream was more skittish and wary, though that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, given how his Megatron treated his second in command, the Aston Martin was entirely unsurprised at his Starscream’s more lacking confidence. As of late, Lord Megatron had been….well, even more unhinged than usual. Given how Megatron had taken to lashing out at Starscream for ever petty grievance, it was no wonder the more lithe Seeker was jumpy. This Starscream had many of the same core personality traits, from what he could see, but his behavior was quite a bit different.

“You needn’t worry about me causing any issues in your world.” he said airily, forcing his processor back in track. He dusted some dried dirt of off arm, lip curling upwards in disgust as the stuff flaked off his armor. “I’ll find a place to lay low and stay out of sight of any locals, be it Cybertronian or human. I’m certain Lord Megatron will either fix the device if it was broken or retrieve it if it was stolen and find a way to bring me back.” he said airily. His tone was confident, and though his words sounded like it, he wasn’t bragging.

It was a fact. The Decepticons needed him. None of the others knew how to do proper medical care. Breakdown could certainly perform the simpler procedures, and most soldiers knew basic field care, but Knock Out was the only one who could handle the injuries that went beyond that. Without him, the Decepticons of his world wouldn’t be able to heal their injured soldiers, which would mean more ‘Cons would die and they’d eventually deplete their numbers enough to put the Autobots at an advantage. As vain as it may sound, Knock Out knew that, right after Megatron and Soundwave, he was the most essential member of the Decepticon forces when it came to keeping the faction running,

Starscream clearly didn’t like his tone of voice, however, because the Seeker growled in displeasure. “Oh? And what makes you so certain?”

Knock Out snorted, one optic ridge arching up. “Oh, don’t get so sour.” he admonished. “I told you, I am the Chief Medic to the Decepticons. I am also, however, their only medic. I can put mechs back together from scrap metal, if I must.” he made a vague gesture with his hand. “I do not mean to sound so vain, but I am very much needed by the Decepticon forces back home.” he said airily. “I’m the only trained, licensed medic they have, after all.”

Starscream stared at him for a long moment, and Knock Out did not like the suddenly considering look in his sharp gaze. “I see.” he narrowed his eyes. “So you’re a skillful medic, then?”

The red mech paused. “I’m not as good as Ratchet,” he said carefully. “But I was in the top of the field before the War broke out.”

Starscream smirked, then, the expression showing just a hint of teeth. Knock about suddenly had a very, very bad feeling. “I see.” the Seeker repeated, sounding sickeningly pleased.

There was the sound of pede steps behind them, and two mechs stepped out from the foliage. Starscream lifted his gaze, head tilting with a dark grin. “Barricade, Sideways.” he hummed. “I see you finally made it.” He flashed teeth in an expression that bordered on a sneer. “I’d like you two to meet Knock Out,” He gestured at the increasingly tense medic. “Our newest medic.” He finished with a vicious grin.

Knock Out tensed, his armor plating clamping closed and tight. Oh, he’d been right. He didn’t like this. “Excuse me?” he hissed.

He was ignored. The two new mechs glanced at each other, then looked at him, clearly unimpressed. “He’s a medic? He’s very…bright. Is he a ‘Bot? The silver one asked, sounding dubious.

Starscream hummed. “No, Knock Out here is a certified Deception medic. We’ve been unable to fix any injured warriors properly ever since Prime took out Scalpel. Our new friend here is from…somewhere else.” he smirked. “But he should fill Scalpels’s pedes quite well.”

The black and white mech shrugged. “Works for me. He’s real colorful alright, but he looks too sharp for an Autobot. And Autobots’s don’t have red optics, either.” he sounded bemused.

Knock Out, by this point, had enough if being ignored. His hand transformed into his saw, and the blade whirled to life. “I think,” he snarled. “You will find that I am not quite so willing to go along with you, Starscream. I’ll be found by my own eventually, so I suggest you and your little friends frag off and leave me be.” he hissed.

There was the sound of smaller transformations, and all three mechs were pointing weapons at him. “Weapon away, doctor.” Starscream said, sickeningly sweet. “You are outnumbered, and if you offline one of us the other two will have you subdued easily enough.”

Knock Out snarled furiously, his engine all but roaring with his rage, but he knew the Seeker was right. He did as he was told, and the two mechs behind him stepped up, one on either side, to grip his arms and force them behind his back. He glared at the Seeker, gaze promising pain.

Starscream only stepped closer, reaching out to tap the medic’s chin with a finger. “I think, Knock Out,” He said with a dark grin. “That you will find Lord Megatron reluctant to simply allow you to be stolen away now that we have you. Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if he orders Soundwave and perhaps even Shockwave to develop a way to ensure you cannot be tracked and retrieved by your friends.” He leaned in close, lips twisting in a mocking sneer. “You belong to us now, little medic.”

Knock Out was tense, his processor racing. This was bad. If that was true, then he doubted he’d be able to ever return home. Unless he could get away now, that is. But he likely wouldn’t be able to. He was the smallest mech here. All three of the duller Decepticons were taller and bulkier than he was. He wouldn’t be able to fight all of them. The medic growled, low and angry, and leaned forward against the hold the other two had on him. It caused their claws to dig into and scratch the paint of his arms, but for once he didn’t care. He got as close to Starscream’s face as he could, eyes holding dark promise.

“You had better pray to Primus that you never end up on my medical berth, Starscream.” He said, voice low. “Because while I may fix you, I will also ensure that your stay in my medical bay makes the Unmaker’s Pits seem like the Well of All Sparks.”

There was a rough laugh behind him, and then he was being yanked away from the still Seeker. “Come on, Doc. Time to get moving.” The silver mech grinned.

He was guided firmly through the forest, until they came to an empty road. He obeyed the cold order to transform from the black and white mech, and then they two larger bots followed suit and boxed him in. Making sure to keep the red medic trapped between them, they drove back towards the Decepticon base, the newest acquisition of the Deceptions firmly in tow.

Back at the clearing where Knock Out had appeared, Starscream remained frozen for a moment longer. Suddenly, he felt like he might have made his decision just a little too hastily, and he remembered the creative threats and curses the smaller bit had spat out. If Knock Out was actually capable of even half the things he had threatened in that little spiel, and Starscream got the unpleasant feeling he was, then he very, very much did in fact hope he never had to go to the medic for repairs. Though, given his luck as of late…he had a feeling he’d be seeing the doctor sooner than he thought.

Frag.

#request fic #silkling request fics #tfp knockout #bayverse starscream #knockout #Starscream #TFP #transformers prime #transformers bayverse #bayformers #transformers crossover #Starscream makes a mistake #angry knock out is scary #Starscream has regrets #knock out is gonna kill all of them out of spite #just you watch #maccadam

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bisluthq · 3 years

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hi nat! i know you don’t believe in kaylor anymore, but i wanted to send in my kaylor/joshlie theory, just as food for thought and fun speculation.

CW: ED

background:

back in 2017, i made a new friend. i quickly became kinda obsessed with her. i idolized how tall and skinny she was, her radiant sunshine-like presence, and the way she was so much cooler than me. something about her just drew me in like a magnet.

one day she told me that she was “bi-curious,” and i felt the unexplainable urge to tell her that i was queer too—so i did.

thus started our intense homoerotic friendship. we talked about everything, and she was rather touchy and flirty with me (we even hooked up a few times). but she was hung up on this dude who she’d been in a long-term off-and-on relationship with. looking back, i think she saw me as a willing participant in her experimentation phase—a source of casual fun while on a break from her ‘real’ relationship (plus, i came with the added bonus of helping her figure out her sexuality a bit).

meanwhile, i was serious about us because i was in love with her. as such, the relationship was obviously very unhealthy: neither of us had appropriate expectations of the other, and because of the imbalance in our level of commitment/love, she ended up inadvertently taking advantage of my friendship in ways that only increased my obsession with her. naturally, our friendship eventually imploded.

i think the kaylor story may look similar.

my theory on kaylor:

i think that kaylor had a very similar friendship as me and my friend. their connection obviously started out as pr, but they ended up getting along well and bonded. thus started their genuine friendship.

i think that their eating disorders were likely a strong source of bonding/connection for them, as this was the case for me and my friend as well. i wanted to emulate how skinny my friend was, just how i think taylor wanted to emulate how skinny karlie was. (remember the vogue best best friends video, in which taylor complemented karlie’s “shiny abs.”) this is obviously an unhealthy place to start a friendship: from day one, you are on uneven ground, where one person is essentially worshipping the other and seeing them as a god-like figure to emulate.

imagine that taylor in that sort of mindset with karlie. and on top of that, she’s attracted to karlie—obsessed with her skinny body, her sunshine-like personality, how sophisticated she is, how effortlessly successful she is, etc. she develops an infatuation with karlie. she wants to take karlie to big sur with her and play 1989 on the way, and she’s so obsessed with karlie that she wants to tell her the truth about the 1989 muse. (trust me, it’s feasible—i told my friend shit i’d never have even imagined confessing to another human, all because of how infatuated with her i was.) so taylor and karlie sit down, have an intensely emotional conversation about how taylor is bi, how the pressures of staying closeted gut her every day, how her relationship with the 1989 muse dianna was so full of strife due to closeting, etc. /// or maybe taylor feels that she must disclose her bisexuality to karlie before the big sur trip. she’s terrified that if she doesn’t tell karlie she’s bi, then karlie will somehow find out. and taylor’s afraid that then, karlie will be creeped out that a ~predatory lesbian~ invited her on a three-month sleepover, leading to the demise of their friendship. so taylor must avoid that outcome – so she must come out to karlie.

so, for either reason i described, taylor comes out to karlie. considering how scared taylor is to come out to karlie (since it might ruin their friendship, or karlie might maliciously out her to others now that she knows, etc.) and considering how generally poor taylor’s mental health was at the time, the coming out inevitably evolves into an intensely emotional conversation about taylor’s fears, insecurities, the pressures of being a closeted mega-celebrity, etc. perhaps karlie feels compelled to match the level of emotion and vulnerability, motivating her to tell taylor “i’m questioning if i might be a little bi too.” or perhaps taylor’s level of earnestness and rawness stirs up the illusion of intense emotions inside of karlie. so, karlie “comes out” to taylor – confessing that she’s questioning/bi-curious (for context, i think karlie is kinsey 1). /// (to show the validity of this possibility – this is how evangelical churches, such as the one shown in the 2006 documentary “jesus camp”, are able to convince children that they’re being overcome by the holy spirit, being prompted by god to break down in tears, etc. – psychologically speaking, when people are put into highly intense emotional situations, [such as taylor breaking down while coming out to karlie], their brains will feel inadvertent pressure to match the level of emotion. as such, their brains will either exacerbate existing relevant emotions, or create the illusion of relevant strong emotions. [this is probably especially true for karlie, since she is an empath and a people pleaser.]).

thus starts the “friends with occasional benefits” stage. karlie views the relationship as something casual, something that gal pals do sometimes, something fun to experiment with while she and josh are on a break, and maybe with the added bonus of helping her figure out if she’s actually a little bit queer.

but taylor falls hard. as i already said, i think taylor was infatuated with karlie’s personality, success, and skinniness. that’s why taylor is willing to engage in such an unhealthy and un-reciprocal relationship: she’s willing to tolerate josh’s presence, because her brain is so fixated on karlie that she’s willing to endure anything for her. taylor may even recognize that kaylor is doomed, but she’s so in love/obsessed that she can’t bring herself to care about anything other than the utter infatuation she feels in this present moment. (this was true of me and my friend – my friend would literally vent to me about her long-term on-again-off-again boyfriend, and i was willing to endure it because of how obsessed with her i was.) or maybe taylor’s somewhat in denial about josh. (this was also true of me and my friend – i had such a hard time conceptualizing that she had feelings for the man that my brain, to some extent, refused to fully grasp the reality of that.) or maybe taylor was even in denial about how intensely she loved karlie, convincing herself that she just really valued her platonic friendship (i also did this – it took me months to admit that i had a crush on my friend and admit that my level of obsession wasn’t normal gal pal behavior – even though i was already out to myself.) also keep in mind the eating disorder dynamic here – taylor looked to karlie as an idol regarding how to eat healthy, exercise, be skinny, and be successful. the mindset of people engaged in eating disorders tends to be obsessive and unhealthy to the extent of being willing to ignore reality / unknowingly refusing to accept reality, possibly including the reality of josh, if taylor feels like her skinniness is dependent on her connection with karlie.

so basically, karlie sees this as a gal pal fling, friends with the occasional casual benefit. taylor, conversely, is infatuated with karlie. one thing that really confirms this for me is kissgate. taylor was liking kaylor shipped tumblr posts shortly before kissgate – she obviously was feeling something for karlie that night. but karlie wasn’t committed to taylor to the same level – yes they (allegedly) made out, but karlie made out with josh immediately afterwards. /// to taylor, kaylor is a ship, an endgame. but to karlie, taylor is just a fun little pit stop, and she’s gonna go make out with her real boyfie immediately after.

eventually, the friendship inevitably implodes, leading to their breakup in 2016. some straw finally breaks the camel’s back on this relationship which was unhealthy and doomed from day 1.

now let’s look at lyrical evidence from repuation that supports my theory.

lyrical evidence from reputation:

ready for it

the bearding anthem. verses “he” are joe, as confirmed by the music video. chorus “you” is her fantasy idealized version of long-term kaylor.

there’s a reason that the “you” relationship (in the chorus) is happening IN HER DREAMS and not in real life – she pines for this committed and serious relationship with karlie, but that’s not reality.

but taylor has hope that it might happen – “i know i’m gonna be with you, so I TAKE MY TIME.” she imagines they’ll be friends-to-lovers, and she’s willing to wait as long as necessary for them to fully reach that lovers stage

this is a stretch, but “thief”/“robber” may refer to how she’s “stealing” karlie from josh lol. “touch me and you’ll never be alone” may also be a cheeky reference how taylor was like a temporary placeholder for josh – when karlie felt alone bc she and josh were on a break, taylor was like “touch me karlie, to keep you occupied while josh has left you alone. and oh yeah, if you end up in a relationship with me, then i promise that you’ll never be alone, bc i will commit to you, unlike that josh boy. i will be so much better than him, if you just let me.”

end game (but only the chorus/verse which taylor wrote)

“i WANNA be your endgame” – taylor is not in a committed relationship with karlie. as karlie sees it, they’re just fooling around. but taylor wants more than that: she wants to be karlie’s endgame.

“you and me would be a big conversation” bc they’re gay. (sorry joseph matthew alwyn, this line is not about you)

“i don’t wanna touch you …… like the other girls do” may be a reference to how karlie is gal pals with plenty of her female friends (example – her platonic yet very affectionate relationship with toni garrn). but taylor wants more than that – she wants their touches to be romantic rather than just platonic/occasionally casually sexual.

“i don’t wanna hurt you” – taylor fears that she’s bad news for karlie (a sentiment repeated in the first line of delicate, the bridge of i did something bad, etc.). this may be internalized homophobia – the predatory lesbian falls in love with her pure/innocent straight best friend and then corrupts her with homosexuality.

“but i ain’t tryna play” – taylor wants this relationship to be more than just the occasional fun/playful/casual hook up. she wants to be karlie’s end game.

“i hit you like ‘bang’, we tried to forget it, but we just couldn’t” may refer to the first time they hooked up. it was unexpected, just happened so suddenly (“like ‘bang’”). and they were just going to put it past them – sometimes friends hook up, it’s whatever. but taylor can’t move on from it.

“your body is gold” – self-explanatory. karlie is the gold rush girl, after all.

“you’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks” reminds me of how i used to try to communicate my seriousness/love to my friend, but she’d laugh it off and assume i was joking. conversely, perhaps the “trick” is that taylor is pretending that she’s not super invested in karlie—maybe karlie is catching on to the fact that taylor is infatuated with her in a ~gay way~. taylor denies it, but karlie calls her bluff on that statement.

“here’s the truth from my red lips” – but in the music video, her lips aren’t red when she says this line. this may allude to all of the lying involved in her relationship with karlie (such as lying about just how in love with karlie she really was). or taylor may have her lips a different color because the truth has changed from the time she wrote this song to the time she’s filming the video – when she wrote this song, it was true that she wanted to be karlie’s endgame. but by the time rep era is here and they’re filming this video, the kaylor friendship is over, and it is no longer true that taylor wants to be karlie’s endgame.

i did something bad

just like in “ready for it”, i think the verses primarily refer to bearding (or maybe calvin/kimye, idk), but the chorus is about karlie.

“they say did something bad / then why’s it feel so good” – it is bad that she slept with karlie despite the fact that karlie is in a complicated long term relationship with josh. but the sex felt good ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

“and i’d do it over and over and over again / IF I COULD” – this implies that taylor only did ~the bad thing~ a few times, and she was unable to do it more times, even though she wanted to. this lines up with my theory that she and karlie hooked up a few times (casually in karlie’s eyes), but taylor wanted it to be more than just a few times (she wanted to be karlie’s endgame). but they couldn’t get to that committed place of routinely having sex bc karlie was still low key hung up on josh.

this is a very unlikely reach but – “he says ‘don’t throw away a good thing’” – “he” might be josh speaking to karlie about their relationship.

in the bridge, taylor says that she is a witch being unjustly burned. the witch is burned because she is being accused of the sin of dark magic – this parallels josh accusing taylor of being a witch who committed the sin of sleeping with his girlfriend, or maybe even the sin of “corrupting” the pure straight girl karlie. furthermore, the bridge invokes religious imagery of purgatory. and tbh, religious imagery is almost always gay xoxo.

don’t blame me

“don’t blame me, love made me crazy” again implies that taylor has committed a sort of ~crime~, such as the ~crimes~ i just mentioned regarding the don’t blame me bridge.

“my drug is my baby” – the drug reference makes me think of dependency. the obsession and infatuation i experienced with my friend (and that i suspect taylor experienced with karlie) is sort of like a drug dependency – and just like a drug dependency, the need for each other is not reciprocal (the drug does not need you back).

“shaking, pacing, i just need you” implies that taylor does not have “you”, which is consistent with my theory that she wanted kaylor to be endgame whereas karlie was only willing to doing occasional gal pal hook ups.

“for you, i would cross the line” / “they say she’s gone too far this time” – sleeping with josh kushner’s ~innocent straight~ girlfriend certainly crosses a line, lol.

“i would waste my time” – as i mentioned in my ready for it analysis, taylor hopes that kaylor be friends-to-lovers. she’s willing to wait as long as necessary for them to fully reach that lovers stage, even though she recognizes that the relationship is doomed and thus a waste of time.

“my name is whatever you decide” – we don’t have to “girlfriends.” we can just be “friends with benefits” or “gal pals” or whatever name you decide, because i am so desperate to have you at all that i will accept you in any form.

“i’m insane, but i’m your baby” – acknowledging that this unhealthy relationship/infatuation she has with karlie is “insane”

“halo hiding my OBSESSION” – “obsession” (!!!!) (that’s what i’ve been saying kaylor was!!!). also, “halo” is a religious metaphor, and religious metaphors are always gay xoxo. and this is a reach, but as a victoria’s secret angel, karlie wears a halo.

“i once was poison ivy, but now i’m your daisy” – i’m sorry, but i’ll never get over the fact that karlie tagged the daisy as taylor, and then taylor drew a picture of a daisy in an identical position above the word “daisy” in the handwritten lyrics.

“for you, i would fall from grace / just to touch your face” – religious metaphors are gay xoxo!

delicate – unsure if this song is about karlie (i think it’s more likely about lily or even joe), but if it is about karlie, it does align well with my kaylor theory.

“this ain’t for the best” – doomed relationship due to josh, corruption of straight girl, karlie won’t commit, etc.

“we can’t make / any promises” – karlie can’t commit to taylor like taylor wants/needs

“is it cool that i said all that? is it chill that you’re in my head? cuz i know that it’s delicate” – is it cool that i have gay feelings for you, bestie, because i know we’re toeing a very delicate line between friends and lovers?

“third floor on the west side” – iirc, the master bedroom of karlie’s west side apartment was on the third floor

“do the girls back home touch you like i do?” – contrasting platonic girls’ touches to the type of touch taylor is giving her. (similar vibe to “i don’t wanna touch you …… like the other girls do” in end game)

“stay here, honey, I DON’T WANNA SHARE” – i don’t wanna share you with josh

“I PRETEND YOU’RE MINE ALL THE DAMN TIME” – implies that karlie is not hers all the time (because she’s josh’s)

“i like you …… i want you” – taylor is Yearning™ for a deeper/more serious relationship with karlie

look what you made me do

i don’t think this song has much substance, but it may draw on themes/emotions from the kaylor friendship break up.

“i don’t like your games” – i don’t like how you led me on, making me feel like we could be forever when, in reality, you were never going to commit to me because you loved josh

“don’t like your tilted stage” – this reminds me of the power imbalance i mentioned earlier: taylor was obsessed with karlie and idolized her. karlie did not reciprocate this dedication and infatuation. because taylor’s love for karlie is so much more intense than karlie’s love for her, the metaphorical scale is imbalanced, making it tilt.

“the role you made me play, of the fool” – you made me out to be a fool, ready to confess my undying love even though you could never reciprocate. // furthermore, the “role” may refer to how they had to act like platonic girl squad besties as per their pr arrangement (reminds me of how karlie publicly said “taylor and i are still besties” after karlie’s name wasn’t on the junior jewels shirt in the lwymmd mv, how karlie promo-ed the “Me!” filter on Instagram, the song closure, etc.)

“your perfect crime” – the crime of sleeping with taylor despite being low key still with josh

“i got smarter” – i began to realize how unhealthy this warped and imbalanced friendship was

“you asked me for a place to sleep / locked me out and threw a feast” – this may refer to karlie had a ~designated bestie sleepover room~ in taylor’s house, and that enty blind about how karlie used taylor’s credit card and that caused a feud lol

i do not think that “so it goes” is about karlie – it’s too reciprocal. i don’t think gorgeous is about karlie specifically – maybe lily or just women in general. and i agree with andy’s theory that getaway car is more so an exercise in storytelling than a song that contains substantive clues about her relationships.

king of my heart

we have the photos showing that taylor wrote/recorded this after facetiming with karlie to watch the sunset together. taylor wrote this right after that romantic coded date, presumably during a high point of their friendship/relationship – as such, this song is more idealistic than most other kaylor songs. taylor is hopeful about the future of a committed endgame kaylor. (but, we’ll also see that taylor does still have some insecurities about kaylor.)

“now you try on calling me baby like trying on clothes” – karlie is just “trying on” calling her baby. karlie is new to this whole wlw thing, and she won’t be wearing these metaphorical clothes (a wlw relationship) for long – she’s just trying them on. furthermore, “trying on clothes” may reference how karlie is a model.

“salute to me, i’m your american queen” – i think i remember from my ttb days (derogatory) that there’s a video clip of karlie calling taylor “the perfect all-american girl” whilst doing a salute.

“you move to me like a motown beat” may reference the “motown beats” instagram post where kaylor are putting on lipstick together

the fact that taylor includes the line “all the boys and their expensive cars … never took me quite where you do” may be a sign of taylor’s insecurity. i think this may be a message to karlie – ‘yes, josh is a rich boy with expensive cars, but look, we are so much better than joshlie is.’ calling josh a mere “boy” is also a funny little insult – he’s not a man, he’s just some silly little boy who can’t satisfy you like i can.

“body and soul” – i think it might be significant that taylor specifies body AND soul. they’re already connected by the soul through their close friendship – but now they’re connecting sexually with their bodies as well. conversely, this could reference how they’ve already connected bodily through casual gal pal hook ups, but now taylor believes that they’re starting to connect on that romantic soul level as well.

“school girl crush” gives me such unreciprocated crush vibes. maybe taylor’s crush was unreciprocated for a while, but she has reason to believe that their relationship is growing into ~more than just friends~, as she’s desired

“drinking beer out of plastic cups” – knicks game

“say you fancy me, not fancy stuff” – “fancy” could just be straight-bait to make swiftwyn beards look more convincing, or it could be a re-dedication of the song to joe (just how the bridge of dress re-dedicated that song to joe). (for context, i believe in swiftwyn beards-to-lovers.) but what’s important here is that “fancying stuff” made me think of how, as a model, karlie is like madona’s Material Girl. rich boy josh with his fancy cars can give karlie more “stuff” to satisfy her inner material girl, but taylor wants to show karlie that she can give her deeper fulfillment than that.

“this is enough” – this might be taylor reassuring herself that their relationship, despite being in a weird ~gal pals who hook up occassionally~ is enough. even though they’re not ~girlfriends~, the relationship is enough, because taylor believes that they’re working their way towards that ~body and soul endgame wives~ type of relationship.

“all at once” may refer to a seemingly sudden shift in the nature of their relationship – one day, they’re (infuriatingly) just gal pals who hook up, but all of a sudden, taylor has reason to believe/hope that maybe they’re starting to be more than that, maybe inching their way towards endgame territory.

i do not think that dancing with our hands tied is necessarily about karlie. it seems too reciprocal to be just about her; it might be an amalgamation of many relationships and how she frequently fears being outed.

dress

“a golden tattoo” – drake’s party. also, karlie is gold rush girl

“all of this silence, pining and anticipation / my hands are shaking from holding back from you / all of this silence, pining and desperately waiting” – once again implies that taylor does not have karlie the way she wants her. there’s “pining” because she wants more than karlie can give. and taylor is “desperately waiting” in hopes that maybe one day karlie will reciprocate her love to the full extent that she desires

“i don’t want you like a best friend” – self-explanatory

“carve your name into my bedpost” – taylor is making a request – ‘please commit, please leave a sign that you are committed to me forever, please be my endgame.’ note the dichotomy between this plea for karlie to take the initiative to make the carving, versus the statement in the first verse of how karlie inadvertently left “an indentation in the shape of” her. the indentation was not an act of karlie’s chosen will – taylor just so happened to fall in love with her, and now she’s asking karlie to reciprocate by making that carving.

“inescapable, i’m not even gonna try” – taylor is resigned to the fact that she’s fallen for karlie, even though the relationship might be doomed (as the next line demonstrates)

“if I get burned, at least we were electrified” – taylor is acknowledging that this relationship is low key doomed, and if anyone is going to get hurt, it’ll be taylor. taylor will be the one getting “burned” by the intensity of her infatuation, whereas karlie won’t be burned because she never reciprocated that intense love. /// going back to my commentary on “carve your name into my bedpost” – note how taylor frequently references karlie “claiming” her (with “marks”, “indentations”, “carvings”, and now “burns”), whereas taylor never states that she’s claimed karlie in any way. i think this may reflect taylor’s recognition that she has fallen much harder for karlie than karlie has for her. karlie does not bear marks, indentations, carvings, or burns from their relationship, because she was never as committed as taylor was. but taylor bears all those things because it is she who fell so hard for karlie.

“you kiss my face and we’re both drunk” reminds me of that trope where the gal pals only make out when they’re drunk because they’re convinced they’re actually straight. maybe karlie is one of those straight girls who only has so much capacity for wlw sex, meaning that it happens more often when she’s drunk than when sober.

i do not think that “this is why we can’t have nice things” is a direct karlie song. it may indirectly reference how karlie “broke” the “nice thing” that was their relationship by refusing to commit, but i don’t think that the song has anything substantive to show us about kaylor.

i’m not sure if i think “call it what you want” is a kaylor song. on some level, “fit like a daydream” does sound like eating disorder taylor idolizing karlie’s body, and it’s interesting to me how the subject of the song expresses virtually no devotion to taylor, whereas taylor spends the whole song telling the subject “call it what you want – call us girlfriends, gal pals, whatever you want as long as i can keep you.” this reminds me a bit of kaylor.

new year’s day

“don’t read the last page” because i know that this book has a sad ending. this relationship is doomed, and it’s going to end poorly. but let’s put that out of our minds – i’m to infatuated with you in this moment to think about how this will inevitably end.

“i stay when you’re lost and i’m scared and you’re turning away” – when karlie is “lost” (leaving taylor to go back to josh) or “turning away” from taylor to go back to josh, taylor stays. she’s scared that she’s going to lose karlie, but she’s still going to stay, because she’s willing to “waste her time” (don’t blame me) waiting for karlie to choose her.

“i stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes” – taylor is willing to stay through the mess of their imbalanced and un-reciprocal relationship even when that inevitably gets hard. their relationship is “wrong” because karlie is josh’s, and maybe kaylor was a mistake because of joshlie, but taylor doesn’t care – she loves karlie too much, so she’s going to stay and wait for karlie to choose her.

“i WANT your midnights” – implying that taylor does not currently have them, because karlie is not reciprocating the level of love taylor is giving and wants in return.

“hold on to the memories” implies that this relationship will be ending soon (because it is doomed), leaving karlie only memories to hold onto.

“i will hold onto you” – this goes back to the theme of taylor’s obsession. karlie is her drug – she’s addicted to her, and she will “waste her time” eternally waiting for karlie to choose her because she’s that obsessed with her.

“please don’t ever become a stranger” – why is taylor worrying about this? because the relationship is doomed, and becoming strangers feels like this horrible yet inevitable ending that will be a part of “the last page”

thanks for reading, and sorry about any typos!

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

SUBMISSION

I found this as part of my Insta ask era but let’s look over this for thoughts. Haven’t read it yet but I know anon was stressed it got lost (it did because y’all talk too much but also don’t stop I love it).

#nat talks kaylor #submission

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vgfm · 3 years

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Deltarune Theory: More Musings on Everyman and Gaster

Hey all, it’s been about a month since my big Everyman Analysis Post and I just wanted to make a quick follow-up that ended up being quite long.

This follow-up includes some things that I left out of the original post, as well as a couple of new revelations and developments I’ve uncovered since then.

This new post also segues into a theory I’ve been building about Gaster, since I feel like both characters are connected.

I recommend you read the original post (if you haven’t already) otherwise this follow-up may not make much sense.

Sections

Quick Recap

Further Foreshadowing

The Curious Case of Mettaton

“Strange” Times

Revisiting Reaper Bird

Creating Reaper Bird

Ice-E’s Odds and “E”nds

A Deeper Look into Father Alvin

Heroes of the Dark, Villains of the Light

A New Challenger Approaches!

Gaster’s Connection to the Knight

Creating a New Future

Gaster is ???

Gaster the ???

What are Skeletons, Anyway?

Conclusion

Quick Recap

If for whatever reason you haven’t read the previous Everyman post, here’s the cliff notes version:

Everyman was the bullet attack from the Reaper Bird amalgamate in Undertale’s True Lab (the one whose head got eaten by butterflies)

Everyman appears twice in Deltarune Chapter 1, implying a greater role in the full game

In Undertale, Everyman was likely an actual person/monster who became part of an amalgamate like Snowdrake’s mother and Shyren’s sister did

Everyman is likely to be “The Knight,” mentioned in Deltarune (see first post for full argument/evidence)

Jevil and the King of Spades are connected to both the Knight and Everyman, implying they’re the same person (again, see previous post)

The word “strange” is associated with Everyman; his sprite in Undertale is called “strangeman” and Seam refers to the Knight as a “strange knight”

The Knight may or may not have a “strange son”, according to Seam (it’s unclear because the line is worded vaguely)

The Knight/Everyman is probably connected to Gaster

If Everyman is an existing character, then he’s likely either Father Alvin or one of the Ice-E’s employees (long story, see previous post)

[Image transcript: Two text boxes from Rouxls Kaard. In order, he says: “Lost...? Frightened...? Confused...? GOOD!! HA HA HA!!!” end image transcript.]

Need some help? Otherwise, we’re moving on...

Further Foreshadowing

I wanted to touch a bit more on the concept of character foreshadowing in Undertale/Deltarune, since it’s one of my foundational arguments for why I think Everyman will be important in Deltarune.

I still can’t help but find it remarkable that Toby took the time to include multiple Everyman “cameos” in Deltarune Chapter 1. The Jevil fight cameo especially gets me because it’s in a secret fight that most players already won’t experience on their initial playthrough, and on top of that it’s a rare event in said fight. It reminds me of how the “Mysteryman” event in Undertale has a strong chance to not trigger even if you have the correct fun value. This all feels like a lot of trouble for Toby to go through for what is an otherwise extremely obscure character.

Last time I gave examples of how characters like Mettaton and Rouxls Kaard were foreshadowed before they were properly introduced, but I found another example of a foreshadowed character that better illustrates my argument:

Muffet was a fan-made boss included in Undertale as a backer incentive for the game’s Kickstarter. In other words, she was (presumably) not part of the initial plans for the game or its demo (which was released prior to the Kickstarter). In the finished game, Muffet, while not as important as other boss characters, still ties into the spider bake sale seen in the Ruins and she’s (possibly?) one of the mercenaries hired by Mettaton to kill you.

Muffet’s inclusion in the full game retroactively makes the Ruins’ spider bake sale serve as foreshadowing for her character. However, Toby didn’t stop there.

[Image transcript: Two side-by-side screenshots of Undertale. In the left one, the narration says “(It’s a spider web.)” In the right screenshot, the narration continues: “(There’s a flyer for a bake sale on it.)” end image transcript.]

Toby also added a bake sale flyer in Napstablook’s house as an additional reminder and gave Muffet her own introductory bake sale room in Hotland before she’s properly fought.

Note how once again Toby took the time and effort to foreshadow a character multiple times, even though that character wasn’t even part of his original plans. And, as was the case with MTT and RK, the foreshadowing wasn’t just a one-off hint or nod, either.

Muffet is also an example of how foreshadowing doesn’t need to include a character’s name or a direct reference in any dialogue or flavor text. Mettaton and Rouxls Kaard are both mentioned by name (or initials) by other characters, yet Muffet’s name is never spoken before her fight.

A first time player going in blind would have no way of knowing that Muffet exists as a specific character in the narrative, but her presence would still make sense and be foreshadowed from contextual clues. The spider bake sale, while not telling us exactly who Muffet is, clearly builds up to the eventual reveal of her role and motivations. This is what I meant when I said that some foreshadowing only makes sense in hindsight, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is foreshadowing.

The Curious Case of Mettaton

Think back to what I said last time about foreshadowing:

“For all we know there could be other, more-cryptic Everyman references already in Deltarune that we don’t have the full context to understand yet.”

While I didn’t specify it at the time, I meant this as a subtle hint that Deltarune’s mentions of the Knight would double as foreshadowing for Everyman (assuming they’re the same person, as my theory alleges). Obviously I didn’t start my original post with this argument because it would be putting the cart before the horse and I had to first establish why I think Everyman is the Knight.

Speaking of the Knight, another thing that I hinted at but didn’t fully spell out last time is the fact that the three most prominent characters who mention the Knight (Seam, Jevil, and the King of Spades) all coincidentally leave “clues” that point to Everyman as well. Seam uses the word “strange” more than any other character and is the first one to mention the “strange” Knight. Jevil mentions the Knight and has the rare Everyman bullet. The Spade King mentions the Knight several times, including as his final in-battle line, then right after allows his cloak to fly away as a butterfly (an image associated with Everyman, per my last post).

If my theory is correct then it would mean that Everyman is foreshadowed even more heavily in chapter 1 than just his two visual “cameos”. It would also mean that every mention of the Knight would serve as a “namedrop” for Everyman, like how Mettaton and Rouxls Kaard are namedropped before their introductions.

This type of foreshadowing, where namedrops are seemingly “unconnected” to visual cameos, isn’t unprecedented. Mettaton is namedropped several times in Undertale before Hotland, but we also see his rectangular form powering the Snowdin colored tile puzzle.

[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Frisk looking at Mettaton’s deactivated body next to the colored tile puzzle in Snowdin. The narration says “(The machien isn’t working.)” end image transcript.]

I also want to clarify that, yes, that’s actually Mettaton--Papyrus mentions that Alphys designed the tile puzzle and you can see that Mettaton disappears from that room later on before eventually reusing the tile puzzle himself in Hotland.

[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Frisk talking on the phone with Papyrus in the Snowdin colored tile puzzle room. Papyrus is saying “OH HO!!! THE PUZZLE THAT DR. ALPHYS MADE!” end image transcript.]

But here’s something you may not have ever thought about: there’s absolutely nothing prior to Hotland that outright says that the mysterious “MTT” and the machine powering the tile puzzle are one in the same, just like how there’s no line of dialogue in Deltarune Chapter 1 that outright says Everyman is the Knight.

In fact, I’d argue there’s more evidence to suggest that Everyman is the Knight than there is to suggest (to a new player, pre-Hotland) that “MTT” and the tile puzzle machine are the same person (or even a person at all), and yet we know the latter is true. Just something to think about.

“Strange” Times

Something else I wanted to expand upon was the use of the word “strange”. I pointed out last time how Everyman is called “strangeman” in Undertale’s game files and how Deltarune’s dialogue uses the word “strange” very deliberately.

What I didn’t touch on was how the word “strange” is used in Undertale. Long story short: it’s used a lot more often than in Deltarune but its usage also feels a lot less deliberate. On the one hand, “strange” is used to refer to important things like Alphys’ Lab, Sans’ room, Toriel already “knowing” humans after a reset, and the broken machine in Sans’ workshop.

[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Frisk staring at a curtain in Sans’ secret room. The narration says “(There’s a strange machine behind the curtain.) (It seems to be broken.)” end image transcript.]

On the other hand, “strange” is also used to refer to more mundane things like sleeping in Toriel’s house, quiet echo flowers, or Mettaton rattling off the features of the game-shaped bomb.

In truth, I don’t think the word “strange” has much meaning when it comes to dialogue in Undertale. However, Everyman is the only sprite in Undertale with the word “strange” in its title. Almost all of the non-dialogue strings with “strange” in their name also relate to Everyman. There are a couple of other strings referring to a “strangetangle,” but I’m not exactly sure what that is.

My personal theory is that Everyman and the True Lab may have been one of the later additions to Undertale’s programming, and by that point Toby had likely written most of the game’s dialogue and didn’t feel the need to retroactively limit the use of the word “strange”. That’s purely my own speculation, of course.

The point still stands that Deltarune uses “strange” in a way that feels much more planned. Unlike Undertale, Deltarune tries to limit “mundane” uses of “strange” as much as possible. I must also reiterate that the first mention of the Knight and the first usage of “strange” in Deltarune is Seam referring to a “strange knight” in bright red letters.

[Image transcript: A Deltarune screenshot of Seam saying “But, recently, a strange knight appeared... And three of the kings were locked away.” end image transcript.]

On the flip side, Toby has gotten a lot more careful with filenames for sprites in Deltarune. There are no sprites named “everyman” or ”strangeman” in Deltarune’s game files, just as there’s no “Gaster” or “mysteryman” either (save for the vessel name flag that restarts the game). The Everyman bullet that appears in Jevil’s fight is simply “spr_carousel”, and the graffiti is part of “bg_alphysalley”. Toby left far fewer secrets in Deltarune’s files than he did in Undertale’s, likely as a conscious effort to avoid spoiling any future reveals.

Revisiting Reaper Bird

Speaking of covering tracks, when writing my previous post I was a little disappointed to find that Reaper Bird’s battle text was something of a dead end for clues. Almost all of the dialogue and flavor text in Reaper Bird’s fight is repurposed text from the Astigmatism, Final Froggit, and Whimsalot fights.

[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of the Reaper Bird battle. Reaper Bird has three text bubbles. In order, they say: “Someone finally gets it,” “Ribbit ribbit,” and “Courage...” end image transcript.]

When you think about it, Everyman is the most noteworthy thing about the Reaper Bird fight. Without him, Reaper Bird would be the most forgettable amalgamate. Reaper Bird doesn’t even show up again during the True Pacifist “victory lap” walk-around. Endogeny, Lemon Bread, and Snowdrake’s mother all show up in the overworld and have additional dialogue (or dog noises) with their family members. Reaper Bird and Memoryhead are the only amalgamates never heard from again.

I do think that Reaper Bird and Memoryhead are meant to serve a purpose beyond being general amalgamates. Memoryhead at least has the distinction of being the first amalgamate fought, having the unique “bad memory” item associated with it, and (arguably) being the most mysterious of all the amalgamates due to having no easily-identifiable “component” monster parts.

Still, there are a couple of Reaper Bird tidbits worth pointing out. First is the name: I find it interesting that Everyman has been associated with two different “reaper”-affiliated enemies (i.e., Reaper Bird and Jevil w/ his scythe). It’s also interesting how the artbook shows an early concept for Whimsalot that carries a scythe as well:

[Image transcript: Two entries from the Undertale Artbook. On the left is a spritesheet for Everyman. Beneath it says “spr_strangeman_losinghead.png by Toby Fox. Name: Everyman Description: Just a good guy who shows up on occasion. To the right of this entry is an image of a Whimsalot holding a scythe while wearing a skull mask. Beneath it says “spr_whimsun_reaper.png by Toby Fox. Different idea for Whimsalot.” end image transcript.]

The sprite is even called “whimsun_reaper”. Funny coincidence how Whimsalot’s design was changed to become more knight-like in the end.

While we’re on this page, there’s something I wanted to take another look at:

Madjick and Knight Knight are grouped with Everyman and Whimsalot despite neither of them being represented within the Reaper Bird’s design or dialogue. This page is immediately after a page that shows concepts for Final Froggit and Reaper Bird:

Wouldn’t it make more sense for Everyman to be on the same page as Reaper Bird, rather than being grouped with with Madjick and Knight Knight? The only things that Madjick, Knight Knight, and Whimsalot have in common are (1) they’re Core enemies and (2) they have the strongest “knights and wizards” theming out of all the Core mercenaries. Final Froggit and Astigmatism’s designs are more ambiguous, and the latter isn’t even included in this section of the artbook at all (despite being a component of Reaper Bird!).

Looking at this page, the earlier design for Reaper Bird’s eye-mouth thing does remind me of something...

It’s a somewhat tenuous connection and could just be a coincidence. Then again, Spade King is connected to the Knight and I already made a big deal out of his butterfly-shaped cloak. Interestingly, Spade King never uses his Chain of Justice attack after his cloak flies away and instead resorts to basic spade bullets to put down the Fun Gang. If the cloak was a gift from the Knight, perhaps it was endowed with sort of power that heightened the King’s abilities?

It is odd how the Chain is the only part of the King’s sprite that’s grey instead of black, white, or blue. Lancer’s sprite doesn’t have any grey on it, nor does he have his own “Chain” appendage. As far as I know this shade of grey is not used on any other character. Grey seems to carry a very specific connotation in this series: New Home is entirely in grey, the overworld sprites for the Amalgamates are grey, and Gaster Followers/Goners are associated with the color as well. We don’t fully know what it means yet, but it seems to be significant. Best make a mental note of it, at least.

Creating Reaper Bird

What especially sticks out to me now is Toby’s line above Reaper Bird’s Artbook entry:

“I created Reaper Bird first but I realized it wasn’t creepy enough so I gave it longer legs in-game.”

Now, when Toby says he created Reaper Bird “first”, he doesn’t specify what that “first” is in relation to. Was Reaper Bird the first amalgamate he designed? Or does Toby mean that he designed Reaper Bird “first” and then designed the Core mercenaries afterwards so that they’d fit as “components” of Reaper Bird’s body?

That latter interpretation may seem like a bit of a stretch, but it’s worth noting that Reaper Bird is the only amalgamate shown in the art book whose concept art does not have a step-by-step “breakdown” of how it was created from the designs of its component monsters. Endogeny and Lemon Bread both have full-page spreads showing earlier concepts alongside the regular monsters that make up their components.

What’s especially interesting is the artbook also includes a scrapped “Royal Guard” amalgamate and a page for Snowdrake’s Mom, whose final design only takes inspiration from Snowdrake.

And yet despite the fact that Reaper Bird has one of the most obvious designs in terms of how its components “fit together”, Toby did not show his early design process and instead only shows three frames of Reaper Bird’s idle animation. Assuming Reaper Bird was designed first and the Mercenaries’ designs were created or modified afterward, this would fit with my theory that the Core Mercenaries were deliberately themed around Everyman and his “knighthood”.

Even the design of Reaper Bird itself evokes some traits of Everyman’s design. Namely, both characters are bipedal, both have long necks, both have a beak/proboscis, and both have a single visible eye mounted on the side of their head. That last part stands out the most to me, as every major character in Undertale and Deltarune has forward-mounted eye sockets, like a human would. Even among random encounter enemies and background NPCs it’s a rarity to find wall-eyed characters.

It could just be my over-eager imagination, but the fully-stretched Reaper Bird looks like it even matches Everyman’s proportions to a degree, almost like it’s a skeleton or outline attempting to regain its “true form” out of the cobbled-together mercenary parts.

I said before that Reaper Bird becomes the most “boring” amalgamate without Everyman. In many respects Everyman is the centerpiece of that amalgamate, and by extension he may also be the centerpiece that informed the designs of the Core mercenaries.

If that’s going too far out on a limb, consider how many places and characters in Undertale are connected to Gaster despite the fact he has no real role in the game’s main plot. Sans, Papyrus, the Core, and the True Lab are all “informed” in some way or another by Gaster’s “existence” even though he never properly appears. Is it so unlikely to imagine that another “unseen” character who may be important in Deltarune also had a large impact on aspects of Undertale’s world?

Ice-E’s Odds and “E”nds

Speaking of impact... I don’t really have a segue lined up, so let’s talk about Ice-E’s instead. In my last post I brought up the idea of Everyman being one of the Ice-E’s employees that we see in Hometown. The bulk of my analysis focused on The Warrior, but I neglected to talk about the other unknown mascot: the “purple guy”.

In truth, there’s not a whole lot to this character. He only has one line of dialogue and he seems to be a deliberate reference to the “purple guy” from Five Nights at Freddy’s. Still, he’s just as mysterious as The Warrior and could very well have a larger role to play in the full game.

Interestingly, the purple guy’s sprite is named “icemascot_fake” in Deltarune’s files, whereas Burgerpants and the Nice Cream Bunny are “icemascot1″ and “icemascot2″, respectively. This fits with Burgerpants’ line where he questions whether the purple guy “even works here”.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. Both feature Kris talking to Burgerpants in Hometown. On the left, Burgerpants says “Purple Guy - Man, THAT GUY, you gotta...” and on the right he continues, saying “... actually, does that guy even work here?” end image transcript.]

The purple guy is also the only Ice-E’s mascot whose costume’s body doesn’t match the color of the costume’s head.

His colors do match the Everyman/Ice-E graffiti, though. Judging from his “fake” costume, he’s apparently some sort of Ice-E’s fanatic who made his own Ice-E’s getup and pretended to work there. I’m not sure how that would tie into the Knight’s motivations, if at all, but it certainly fits the bill for being “strange”.

Ice-E’s is apparently strange and creepy enough in-universe to inspire urban legends about it

But Kris was only kidding, right?

Getting back to Ice-E’s as a brand, it’s interesting how the company focuses on the letter “E”, inserting it into the word p”e”zza and other places where it doesn’t belong.

[Image transcript: A Deltarune screenshot of Burgerpants saying “Ice E’s P’E’ZZA, You’re number ‘1′ Spot for a piping hot pe’E’ce of PEZZA.” end image transcript.]

Could the focus on “E” be pointing towards “E”veryman’s involvement? Eh, mayb”E”.

Something that was pointed out to me by gantaloupe on Reddit: In the Core we see two branching paths: the sage’s path and the warrior’s path.

[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Frisk reading a sign in the Core. The sign says “(North, the warrior’s path.) (West, the sage’s path.) (Any path leads to The End.)” end image transcript.]

While this could just be a coincidence, it’s an interesting factoid in light of how Everyman is connected to the Core mercenaries and possibly connected to a character named “The Warrior” in Deltarune.

One last thing that I noticed is how Everyman’s bullet sprite and the Ice-E’s costumes both have nubby arms and legs without any defined fingers or toes. Everyman’s body and Ice-E’s head would fit together like a glove. It would certainly be easier to picture one of the mascots abstracted into Everyman’s bullet design rather than, say, Gaster or Father Alvin. Speaking of which...

A Deeper Look into Father Alvin

Father Alvin kinda got the short end of the stick in my previous post when I said he was “less likely” to be Everyman than one of the Ice-E’s employees. I still hold that opinion, but that doesn’t mean he’s not worth exploring further.

One thing that I glossed over was the topic of Alvin’s potential connection to Gerson. Now, there’s nothing in chapter 1 that outright says Gerson and Alvin are related, but it’s easy to intuit based on the fact that they’re the only two turtle monsters that we see in the series. Both characters are connected to Hometown’s school, and one could infer that Alvin’s drawing in the supply closet could be a drawing of Gerson rather than a self-portrait.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. Both feature Kris looking at a drawing on a cabinet in the unused classroom. In the left screenshot, the narration says “(It’s a yellowed, poorly-drawn picture of a green turtle.)” The right screenshot continues: “(It’s signed ‘Alvin’.)” end image transcript.]

Gerson himself seems to have no connection to the Knight’s machinations, and it’d be difficult to imagine otherwise since he’s, y’know, dead. Still, it is eerie how Gerson was the only character in Undertale who provided any information on the deltarune symbol and now he’s “conveniently” absent from Deltarune’s narrative.

[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Gerson saying “That’s the Delta Rune, the emblem of our kingdom.” end image transcript.]

Instead we have a different turtle character who also makes mention of an “angel” like Gerson did.

[Image transcript: A Deltarune screenshot of Kris talking to Father Alvin. Alvin says “Let the Angel’s power light your way.” end image transcript.]

We don’t know much about Alvin yet, but the impression I get from him is that he’s Gerson’s opposite--mild-mannered, patient, and more interested in divine matters than history or research. Alvin also shows reverence for the Angel, capitalizing the name, whereas Gerson uses the term “angel” with quotation marks and treats it as a quaint curiosity.

[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Undertale screenshots of Gerson talking. In the left screenshot, he says “Most people say it’s the ‘angel,’ from the prophecy...” The right screenshot Gerson says: “I jus’ think it looks neat! Wahaha!” end image transcript.]

Getting back to Alvin’s drawing, it was pointed out to me that Alvin’s green turtle drawing and the drawing of three people smiling in Sans’ lab are both described as “poorly drawn” by the narration.

[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Undertale screenshots of Frisk in Sans’ secret room. In the left screenshot, the narration says “(It’s a poorly drawn picture of three smiling people.) (Written on it...)” The right screenshot continues: “don’t forget.” end image transcript.]

This may sound minor, but these are the only instances where the descriptor “poorly drawn” is used in either game. It’s also significant because the drawing of three smiling people only shows up when Frisk talks to Clamgirl, who mentions “Suzy” and is eventually revealed to be a goner/Gaster follower. This means both drawings are tied to Deltarune’s world.

I’m not entirely sure what the significance of the drawings is, since we still don’t know for certain who the three smiling people are or which green turtle is in Alvin’s drawing. If Alvin is the Knight, I could see him using drawings to attempt to bring specific types of darkners to life with the dark fountains he pulls out of the earth. In the case of the turtle drawing, maybe he was hoping to bring Gerson back as a darkner by recreating his likeness?

In Deltarune we’ve already seen a possible darkner “counterpart” to a lightner in the form of Ralsei, so maybe the idea of “recreating” lightners as darkner doppelgangers will be explored further in the full game? Chapter 1′s dark world was in the school and Gerson was a teacher there before he passed away. Chapter 2 seems poised to take place in a hospital dark world, and we see Rudy in a poor state of health at the hospital just prior to chapter 2. It’s too early to tell, but maybe these “holy” fountains and darkner doppelgangers are the Knight’s idea of bringing about life after death, or an “angel’s heaven,” if you will.

It goes without saying that my ideas of the Knight’s motives are purely speculative, but one last note I’ll leave on is how Gerson is mentioned an awful lot in Deltarune, more so than he was in Undertale. Gerson’s name is also one of the names that triggers a special response in the vessel creation sequence. Seems like an awful lot of attention for a “dead” character with no further role to play in the story, and remember what I said earlier about repeated character foreshadowing. All I’m saying is, don’t be too surprised if we meet a darkner by the name of “Snorge” or “Resong” or “Goners” or--hmm... Goners...

Heroes of the Dark, Villains of the Light

Now’s as good a time as any to bring up something I and a lot of others have noticed: Deltarune’s heroes are dark. Ralsei is a prince from the dark with horns, Susie is a bully described as a “dark knight” in one of her equip screen titles, and Kris is described by some Hometown residents as “creepy,” to say nothing of how Chapter 1 ends. Others in the fandom have pointed out how Deltarune’s battle system places Kris & co on the left side of the screen, in contrast to many classic JRPGs where the heroes are positioned on the right side of the screen.

On the other end of things, Ralsei’s prophecy refers to the “heroes of legend” sealing the “holy” dark fountains in order to “banish the Angel’s heaven”. That doesn’t really sound like a typical “heroic” goal. There’s also the speculation that sealing Card Castle’s fountain may have had negative repercussions for the Castle’s inhabitants. I’m not saying this to argue that the fun gang is somehow “evil”, but merely to point out that they have the trappings of darkness.

Angels, on the other hand, are typically associated with light and goodness, and we know that Alvin serves the angel (whether this is solely in an abstract/religious way or in a more direct way remains to be seen). We know that sealing dark fountains somehow relates to banishing the Angel’s heaven, so it’s not a stretch to assume that the Knight is in league with the Angel due to his desire to create fountains.

I already entertained the idea of the Knight and the Angel working together in my last post, but something else that ties into this is Toby’s refrain of describing Everyman as “just a good guy that shows up on occasion.” He uses this description in the Everyman tweet as well as Everyman’s entry in the Undertale art book. It’s clearly meant to be a significant phrase.

[Image transcript: On the left is a Twitter thread by Toby. On the right is an excerpt from the Undertale Artbook featuring a spritesheet of Everyman. In both images, Toby writes “Everyman. Description: Just a good guy who shows up on occasion.” end image transcript.]

We can infer that the Knight will be a major antagonist going forward, and I’ve already argued that Everyman is the Knight, so this paints the picture of a Knight with good intentions--a “Knight in shining armor,” if you will. This could be another argument in favor of Alvin being Everyman/the Knight, since he at least tries to project the image of piety and fits this theme of "holy” villains to contrast the “dark” heroes.

Now that I think about it, a “villain” like that would be an interesting inversion from the likes of Flowey--instead of an antagonist who’s trying to kill people, we have an antagonist who threatens to smother the entire world with the unchecked new life he’s creating. His actions at Card Castle show that he doesn’t go out of his way to kill, given that the three kings were kept alive as prisoners, but we also see how his actions enabled an evil King to abuse his power in the name of protecting his “holy” fountain.

While Flowey illustrated the lesson of “don’t kill and don’t be killed,” perhaps this Knight would be meant to show the dark side of appeasement and how “good intentions” only get you so far? The Spade King definitely comes off as a subversion of the typical “don’t fight!” approach of Undertale, and if Alvin is the Knight then he might push that “lesson” further going forward.

Still, for every champion of the light there is one who waits in the dark...

A New Challenger Approaches!

That’s right, there’s a third Knight candidate to cover. I’m sure some of you have been eagerly awaiting this one, so give it up for...

spr_normalnpc!

Ok, in all seriousness a couple of people wanted me to talk about this character who shows up in the Hometown Library. Their name isn’t given in-game and they’re simply known as “spr_normalnpc” in the game files. As of right now their only purpose is to block Kris from visiting the upstairs floor of the Library.

[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Deltarune screenshots of Kris talking to Normalnpc in the Library. In the left image, Normalnpc says “I love reading books. Especially the books upstairs. You should really.” before finishing in the right image, saying “Read them!” end image transcript.]

As far as we can tell, this character is the Deltarune counterpart to the elusive Gaster Follower 3 from Undertale.

Not all of the character design details line up, but both characters cut a similar silhouette and that’s good enough for me.

After my initial Everyman theory post, I’ve been asked whether I think normalnpc might be Everyman/the Knight. I never gave it much thought before now, so let me start with the points in this character’s favor:

Normalnpc shares some of Everyman’s basic design traits, namely a beak/proboscis, a single eye visible on the side of their head, and a long neck

“Normalnpc” and “Everyman” are both such generic names that they immediately arouse suspicion

Normalnpc acts “strange,” repeating placeholder-ish dialogue about reading books while simultaneously blocking you from going upstairs

Normalnpc maintains a positive tone, making them a “good guy”...?

Both characters are connected to Gaster, maybe?

Ok, look, I’m not saying that Normalnpc can’t be Everyman, but there’s very little to work with here besides the general design, the name, and vague Gaster connections. And even then, I’d say Normalnpc’s and Everyman’s designs have too many differences for my liking. While some of the basic features are there, their silhouettes, proportions, and stance/posture are all completely different.

Another complication is the fact that Normalnpc’s “goner” counterpart already exists in Undertale, and I said last time that Everyman would have to be a character who isn’t seen elsewhere in Undertale because he was busy being stuck inside Reaper Bird.

On the other hand, we do see goner counterparts for characters that already exist in Undertale, as is the case with Gaster Followers 1 and 2 (for the sake of simplicity I’m assuming that Gaster followers are the same thing as “goners”).

But I’m not sure whether these “goners” are meant to be alternate “versions” of these specific characters or whether they’re just other members of the same “species” as their counterparts.

Monster Kid and Goner Kid, for example, have many differences in their designs, including different shirts, different spine arrangements, and slightly different facial features.

Clamgirl muddies things even further, undergoing a total transformation when she “becomes” Gonerclam. This raises the questions of what causes someone to “become” a goner as well as how and why their bodies change in ways beyond just turning grey.

So far we’ve seen instances of goners coexisting alongside their “originals,” like with the two Monster Kids, but we’ve also seen Clamgirl get “replaced” by her goner by becoming one. Based on our limited and seemingly-contradictory knowledge of how goners work, I can’t even say for certain whether Normalnpc’s presence in Undertale would be accounted for or not with the existence of Gaster Follower 3.

And that’s kind of the problem with Normalnpc as an Everyman suspect: we know far too little. Father Alvin and the Ice-E’s employees each have a smoking gun that makes them likely Everyman candidates: in Alvin’s case it’s the drawing in the closet, and for Ice-E’s it’s the graffiti plus the Warrior’s hospital stay potentially lining up with Chapter 2′s setting. The best things Normalnpc has going for them are a vague resemblance and having a more obvious (yet vague) connection to Gaster, the latter of which is hardly a unique thing in this setting.

Moreover, there’s nothing that specifically ties Normalnpc to being the Knight other than through Everyman, and the “connection” between Normalnpc and Everyman is already tenuous. Alvin is independently connected to the Knight by virtue of leaving his drawing as a “calling card” in an area the Knight has recently been. The Warrior’s roleplaying shtick would make him a natural fit among a “swords and sorcery” setting that the Knight evokes. Of the three candidates, Normalnpc definitely has the weakest claim to Knighthood.

That all being said, Normalnpc is still a character to keep an eye on. The name alone comes off as Toby hiding a secret in plain sight. Even if this character doesn’t wind up being Everyman or the Knight, I’m sure their role will be bigger than that of a mere NPC.

Gaster’s Connection to the Knight

Now for the moment you’ve really been waiting for! Truthfully, a lot of this is Gaster stuff that I wanted to talk about last time but didn’t have room to fit in.

I made clear in my last post that I favored Everyman being the Knight over Gaster being the Knight, though the two could be interchangeable in the event that the Knight has a “strange son” working alongside him (which is a prospect I still can’t fully commit to).

Still, a lot of Deltarune speculators have latched onto the idea of Gaster being the Knight. Near as I can tell, here’s the evidence:

Both characters are associated with darkness

Seam, who’s familiar with the Knight, uses the Entry 17 phrase “darker, yet darker” in reference to the “strange someone” Jevil met (who may be the Knight)

Jevil says “THE HAND OF THE KNIGHT IS DRIFTING FORWARD”, and Gaster is associated with hands

Gaster is believed to be the “man” who gives Kris an egg. The word “EGG”, in all-caps wingdings, is written as three hands pointing in the “L-shaped” movement pattern of a knight piece in chess

I can see how this evidence would be compelling, especially in the absence of any competing theory for the Knight’s identity. I can’t refute all of this, aside from saying that the “darkness” association is overly broad in a game where half the cast are darkners and the “EGG” thing, while neat, could be a coincidence. I do think this evidence could point to Gaster being connected to the Knight, but I have two main reasons for believing he isn’t the Knight himself.

First off, I don’t think Gaster’s goals align with the Knight’s. For this argument I’m going to assume that the mysterious voice from Deltarune’s intro, game over screen, and pre-release Twitter takeover is Gaster. Gaster, at least nominally, seems to be on the same side as the red soul, or is at least willing to work with them. The fun gang’s goal of sealing the dark fountains would almost certainly put them at odds with the Knight, if the Spade King’s reaction was anything to go by.

When you get a game over and continue, “Gaster” says “THE FUTURE IS IN YOUR HANDS”.

While he doesn’t urge you to continue like Asgore does during Undertale’s game over, he certainly doesn’t discourage it either. When you refuse to continue, Gaster says “THEN THE WORLD WAS COVERED IN DARKNESS” and the melancholic song “Darkness Falls” plays.

One could argue that Gaster is trying to maintain objectivity or “neutrality” when the red soul dies, like a scientist would in an experiment.

Nonetheless, I would imagine that if Gaster was the Knight then he would be adamantly opposed to anyone who threatened his creation. Ralsei mentions that the prophecy of legend was foretold by “time and space”, and Gaster is said to have shattered across time and space.

[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Deltarune screenshots of Ralsei talking to Kris and Susie. In the left image Ralsei says “A LEGEND that one day, two HEROIES of LIGHT will arrive.” In the right image he says “And fulfill the ancient prophecy, foretold by time and space.” end image transcript.]

It would be odd for the Knight to deliver a prophecy that predicts the undoing of his own handiwork, and then deliver that prophecy to a prince who would assemble the heroes to do just that.

Creating a New Future

I want to touch a bit more on Gaster’s use of the word “future”. He also made mention of this during the Undertale Twitter account’s takeover just before Deltarune Chapter 1 released:

[Image transcript: A Tweet from the official Undertale Twitter account, dated the day of Deltarune Chapter 1′s release, saying in all-caps “I LOOK FORWARD TO CREATING A NEW FUTURE WITH YOU.” end image transcript.]

For whatever reason and through whatever means, Gaster wants to help the red soul create a new future. Choosing to continue from a Game Over causes Gaster to reiterate this goal, while the “opposite” of that, i.e. giving up, is seen as allowing the world to be covered in darkness. This implies that the “future” Gaster wants to create is one where darkness isn’t running amok. Even if Gaster is trying to remain neutral or merely observe, it still sounds like he prefers for the fun gang to prevail.

All this emphasis on the word “future” reminds me of something from the Reaper Bird fight...

[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Reaper Bird’s check text description, stating “REAPER BIRD - ATK ?? DEF ?? This relentless future finally looks brighter and brighter.” end image transcript.]

Now, this check text is a combination of the three check texts for Astigmatism, Final Froggit, and Whimsalot. To wit:

[Image transcript: Three Undertale enemy check text descriptions arranged from top to bottom. In order they say “ASTIGMATISM - ATK 32 DEF 26 This relentless bully ALWAYS gets its way. FINAL FROGGIT 7 ATK 2 DEF Its future looks brighter and brighter. WHIMSALOT - ATK 34 DEF 12 It finally stopped worrying.” end image transcript.]

But as I said before, Reaper Bird may have been designed first and then “informed” the designs of the Core Mercenaries afterwards, and that could hold true for their check text as well.

I find this use of the phrase “relentless future” interesting. A “relentless” future could mean one that’s inevitable or predetermined, and the phrase “finally looks brighter and brighter” could signify that the future has finally changed for the better. Gaster’s goal seems to be to create a “new” future, which would imply an outcome different from a “predetermined” future where your choices don’t matter, which is a running theme in Deltarune. I don’t think Gaster would describe the future as being “created” by people or “in your hands” if he felt that choice was an illusion.

This isn’t the first time that Gaster has been associated with unpredictability or defiance of “fate”. Most Gaster-related events in Undertale were tied with the fun value, a randomly-generated number that changed with each playthrough. Although this mechanic had little impact on the story, it did give each playthrough a greater sense of identity and made events less set-in-stone.

Now, compare this “optimistic” interpretation of Gaster to the “strange someone” that Jevil met.

[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Deltarune screenshots of Seam talking. The left image says “One day, he met a strange someone... and since then, he began to change.” The right end image continues, saying “ Soon, he began to see the world as a game, and everyone as its participants.” end image transcript.]

Seam says that Jevil began to see the world as a “game” and everyone as its “participants,” which doesn’t imply a lot of agency. This mindset is a big red flag when we remember how Flowey viewed others when he saw them as part of a “game.”

[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Undertale screenshots. The left one shows Flowey tying Frisk’s friends, saying “This is all just a GAME.” The right image shows Flowey talking in New Home, saying “Sets of numbers... Lines of dialogue... I’ve seen them all.” end image transcript.]

Seam’s own view of the world becomes “darker, yet darker” after talking to Jevil, and Seam asks “would I have found a little more purpose in my life...?” if not for the experience of locking up Jevil (and, presumably, the experience of listening to Jevil’s words).

[Image transcript: Four Deltarune screenshots arranged in a grid, all featuring Seam talking. From beginning to end the four images say “Since that time, the strange words he’s said have stuck inside my cotton... And my view of this world has become darker, yet darker. And I wonder, if I hadn’t been asked to lock him up... Would I have found a little more purpose in my life...?” end image transcript.]

In order to understand what “darker, yet darker” truly means, we need to view the line in its original context:

ENTRY NUMBER SEVENTEEN

DARK DARKER YET DARKER

THE DARKNESS KEEPS GROWING

THE SHADOWS CUTTING DEEPER

PHOTON READINGS NEGATIVE

THIS NEXT EXPERIMENT

SEEMS

VERY

INTERESTING

...

WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK?

The phrase “darker, yet darker” originally referred to something that Gaster was observing in Entry Number 17. Although the phrase has come to be associated with Gaster, it doesn’t necessarily refer to something that he’s causing or wants to happen--part of a scientist’s job is to observe and comment on results as they unfold, after all. And the “interesting” experiment Gaster refers to is something that’s happening “next”, which implies that the experiment is happening after or in response to whatever is causing things to become darker, yet darker. It also suggests that he’s not calling the “darker, yet darker” event itself “interesting”.

The impression that I get from all this is that Deltarune is meant to be a struggle against inevitability, with Gaster seemingly in the “choices matter” corner of the conflict. If the Knight is the “strange someone” Jevil met then that would imply that he’s very much on the opposite end of that spectrum. If, for example, somebody like Father Alvin is the Knight then I could see him rationalizing his position as fulfilling “fate” pre-ordained by the Angel. In this dynamic, the Knight would serve as an agent of faith and order to oppose Gaster as an agent of science and invention, further tying into the “dark heroes vs. holy villains” theme I posited earlier.

Okay, phew, that was all the first reason why I don’t think Gaster is the Knight. As for the second reason? Well...

Gaster is (Probably) a Darkner

Boy, that’s sure a loaded title, isn’t it? I made an offhand remark about this in my original post but didn’t want to get into it there. I only bring it up now because I previously argued that the Knight is a lightner and that would rule out darkner characters from filling the role.

So, why do I think Gaster is a darkner? Well, part of the reason is because I think that Sans is a darkner as well. Two Left Thumbs’ "Sans is a Darkner” video is probably the most accessible way to understand the theory, but there are several posts about it on Tumblr already if you look hard enough. Either way it’s not required viewing in order to understand my arguments for Gaster, but long story short there’s a lot of evidence to suggest Sans is a darkner and it’s strongly implied that Sans and Gaster are related (if not by blood then through other means), which makes it likely for Gaster to be a darkner as well.

Aside from the Sans connection, another reason I think Gaster is a darkner is due to the line about him being “shattered across time and space.”

[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Undertale screenshots of Frisk talking to Gaster Follower 2 in Hotland. Follower 2 says “Alphys might work faster, but the old Royal Scientist, Doctor W.D. Gaster? They say he shattered across time and space.” end image transcript.]

We can infer from Deltarune that, for whatever reason, darkners are more difficult to kill than monsters due to Deltarune’s enemies all being unkillable. Whether this is an inherent trait of darkners or some “rule” of the dark world or Deltarune’s universe is unclear, but given that defeating Sans doesn’t contribute towards your kill counter in Undertale, there’s a strong likelihood that darkners are difficult to kill, if not outright impossible.

So how is this relevant? Well, it seems like a darkner would be far more likely to survive being “shattered across time and space” than a monster. When a monster’s body is broken apart it means they’ve either turned to dust or will soon, but the fact that “pieces” of Gaster persist (as seen with Gaster Follower 2) implies that he’s made of something sturdier than dust.

[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Undertale screenshots of Frisk talking to Gaster Follower 2 in Hotland. Follower 2 says “Ha ha... How can I say so without fear? I’m holding a piece of him right here.” end image transcript.]

Not only do I believe that Gaster is a darkner, but I’m pretty confident that I know what “kind” of darkner he is. Most of the darkners we’ve seen in chapter 1 can be linked to real-world objects that exist in the Hometown school’s supply closet. While we don’t know what objects (if any) were used to create Ralsei or (possibly) Sans, at most those two are exceptions to the otherwise-universal rule that darkners come from inanimate objects. In Gaster’s case there’s definitely an object that’s associated with him:

Gaster the Egghead

[Image transcript: A Deltarune screenshot of Kris hidden behind a tree. The narration says “(You received an Egg.)” end image transcript.]

In Scarlet Forest “a man” gives an egg to Kris before vanishing, much like how “Mysteryman” vanishes in Undertale. The song that plays during this scene is called “man” in the game files and sounds a lot like Gaster’s theme. The egg itself exhibits strange dimensional properties, reappearing when used, prompting the narration “what egg?” when you try to get rid of it, and becoming two eggs when put into Asgore’s fridge.

When Kris leaves the dark world at the end of chapter 1, their inventory turns into a “ball of junk”, i.e. the real-world objects that were given new form by the dark fountain.

[Image transcript: A Deltarune screenshot of the inventory menu open in Hometown. The only two items are “Ball of Junk” and “Egg” end image transcript.]

The egg is the only other object that remains after chapter 1, implying that it’s a “real” egg and that the egg itself is not a byproduct of the dark world like the dark candies and other items are.

The fact that the “man” disappears when he hands you the egg implies that his presence or “form” is somehow contingent upon the act of giving you the egg. If Gaster is a darkner, if he’s “the man”, and if his form is based on an egg then it makes perfect sense why he’d disappear in that moment--he’s turning back into an egg and surrendering his “true form” (or a piece of it) to you for safe keeping. Given that Gaster seemingly wants you to seal dark fountains, it would make sense that he’d want to hitch a ride out of the closet’s dark world before its fountain goes caput.

This isn’t the only time we see mentions of eggs in Undertale and Deltarune:

[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Papyrus’ dating HUD. On the left is a small white egg, labeled “EGG.” end image transcript.]

Papyrus (who’s connected to Sans and likely Gaster as well) has a conspicuous “egg” on his dating HUD.

[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Undertale screenshots of Frisk talking to a Temmie in Temmie Village. In the left image, Temmie says “tem... WATCH EGG!!!” In the right image, the narration says “(It’s hard-boiled.)” end image transcript.]

In Undertale, one of the Temmies is watching over a hard-boiled egg. However, in Deltarune we see a Temmie with a very different kind of egg.

[Image transcript: A Deltarune screenshot of Kris examining an egg on Temmie’s desk in their classroom. The narration says “(It’s a black-and-white hardboiled egg.)” end image transcript.]

Specifically, it’s described as a “black and white” egg. Needless to say, that’s an odd way to describe an egg. Not all eggs have white shells, but most people wouldn’t describe a white-shelled egg as “black and white”. Of course, we know someone who’s also “black and white”.

[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Mysteryman in his grey room.” end image transcript.]

And he’s “black and white” in the very literal sense. Unlike the Gaster followers, Mysteryman solely uses pure black and pure white in his color palette, and he’s one of the only characters with an all black-and-white overworld sprite. Note also how Mysterman’s head is vaguely egg-shaped and has lines resembling cracks.

Out of all the objects that I could imagine a darkner being made from, an egg is one that I could picture “shattering” like Gaster did while still leaving some small pieces scattered around. I’m not sure whether this would be a “real” egg or a similarly-fragile facsimile like a Faberge egg--either could work in this scenario.

What are Skeletons, Anyway?

“Now wait,” some of you might be saying, “isn’t Gaster supposed to be a skeleton?” Well, I don’t think Gaster being a skeleton is mutually exclusive from Gaster being based on an egg. Egg shells are made of calcium carbonate, one of the mineral components that make up bones.

We see in Deltarune that darkners’ forms in the dark world don’t have to match their “true” forms completely. Pretty much all of the darkners based on playing cards are abstractions that barely resemble a rectangular card. And while we don’t know what Ralsei’s “true” form is (if he has one), it’s very unlikely that he’s a small goat with a hat and scarf in the light world. If Sans is a darkner then there’s also the possibility that his “true form” isn’t a skeleton either.

The rules of the dark world and its inhabitants aren’t entirely clear, so in spite of my arguments I can’t say with certainty that Gaster is a darkner because I can’t even say with certainty that Sans is a darkner, despite him having much stronger evidence supporting that conclusion.

As compelling as Sans’ case is, it still invites questions like how he’s able to exist in Hometown without the apparent aid of a dark fountain, or why Papyrus turns to dust in Undertale despite being Sans’ “brother”. Similar concerns crop up with Gaster in light of his connections-by-proxy with Papyrus and his implied presence in the mysterious Hometown shed.

I still think the possibility of Gaster and Sans being darkners is one worth discussing and it’s a possibility that many fans are sleeping on. Moreover, it’d be fittingly poetic if Deltarune’s main conflict was engineered by a lightner trying to spread darkness and a darkner trying to seal away the darkness.

Conclusion

So this ended up being a lot longer than I originally planned--almost as long as my original Everyman post!

A lot of what I’ve said here is meant to provide further context and elaboration to my earlier theories, but I admit that some of this was pure speculation, namely in regards to Gaster/the Knight’s motivations and the “dark heroes vs. holy villains” theming.

While a good argument should have evidence to back it up, at the end of the day a work of fiction is still a story and is governed by the conventions of storytelling much more than it is by logic or the laws of physical science. This is one reason why I lean so heavily on Toby’s use of foreshadowing, since it’s a narrative tool he’s leveraged consistently in the past.

My attempts to second-guess the motivations of unseen characters and chart the plot’s trajectory would be downright conspiratorial if I were talking about some real-world event, but Detlarune is a story and stories have to go places. A well-written story doesn’t take the time to set up or foreshadow certain characters or exposition if it doesn’t plan to pay off that setup down the road.

Normally I wouldn’t make theory posts this long and esoteric about a work of fiction, since a large amount of writing consists of revision, retcons, and changing things as you go along. Undertale and Deltarune are partial exceptions to this rule in no small part due to Toby planning Deltarune before he began Undertale and planting many “seeds” referencing Deltarune in Undertale’s narrative as a result.

A lot of my conclusions haven’t significantly changed since my previous post: I still believe Everyman will appear again in the full game, I think he’s the character most likely to be the Knight, and I think the most likely Everyman candidates are the Ice-E’s employees and Father Alvin, in that order.

As far as which of my conclusions have changed, I’m now more apprehensive of the idea of the Knight having a “strange son” and of Gaster being the Knight himself. I still can’t discount either possibility entirely, however. I was always shaky about the “strange son” and I often went back and forth on it, but further probing Gaster’s motivations has made me far less convinced that he could be the Knight or in league with him. I’m sure there’s still a connection between both characters, like a shared origin or some past falling out that they had, but I no longer think that they would be on the same side.

Another thing I’ve (sort of) changed my mind on is that the “purple guy” Ice-E’s employee and Normalnpc have both risen in prominence in my eyes. I don’t know if I’d put either of them down as top candidates to be Everyman or the Knight, but something is definitely up with them and I’m sure Toby has plans for them in the future.

Deltarune is shaping up to be a much longer game than Undertale, likely following the mold of traditional RPGs whose stories span several hours. In the time that it would take to play through Deltarune’s story, we may see narrative payoffs to every loose thread and Everyman candidate I’ve brought up. If the identity of the Knight is meant to be a mystery then some candidates might even be deliberate red herrings set up by Toby. Who can say? We’ll just have to wait and find out.

I closed my previous Everyman post by remarking that I had said all that I can on this topic and hopefully this time I mean it. I can’t really think of much else to say about Everyman until Toby releases more information himself, and that’s not likely to happen until the next Undertale anniversary or Deltarune’s full release.

As I said before, my main goal with all this is to spark conversation within the fandom on what is an otherwise under-discussed topic. I might still make other theory posts in the future, but for now I think I’ve bled this topic dry.

#deltarune #undertale #gaster #everyman #undertale theory

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doomonfilm · 3 years

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Ranking : Gus Van Sant (1952-present)

I was somewhat familiar with Gus Van Sant prior into taking the deep dive through his catalog, but he was certainly a man that I thought I had a handle on. I knew he had more than a few amazing films under his belt, but the recent years had not been kind to him (see the shot taken at him in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back). I knew that he was from the Pacific Northwest (Oregon specifically), and his coming of age in an area that embraces weirdos and outsiders had an impact on him as a human and as a creator. I knew that films like Milk and Good Will Hunting had taken Van Sant to the highest heights, while the collective panning of films like Psycho and Last Days served as valleys in a career full of glorious peaks.

What I came to discover, however, was a man with genuine creative integrity, and lots of it. I found a director who understood his characters and actors on a human level, and shared them with viewers in ways that helped rich connections develop. I saw a director who was not afraid to make those that society often considers outcasts the emotionally rich and important centers of his narratives. I watched Gus Van Sant present, explore, develop and refine his style over deeply independent and infamously studio-driven projects, giving all experiences as much care and attention as he was able. I saw films I was familiar with find placement behind films I was new to, I discovered that his recent creative years have not been as kind to him as the first two-thirds of his career, and I can see that there still may be a bit of a smolder left in his creative fire.

Ranking directors is a labor of love, but by no means do I consider myself the definitive professional on film canon. I enjoyed all of the Gus Van Sant films I watched on some level, and as always, for those brave enough to interact, I’d be curious to see where you would make adjustments to the list. But enough introduction talk, let’s get into what you folks came for!

17. Restless (2011) There are things about Restless that I want to love without judgement. First and foremost, Mia Wasikowska is an absolute treasure who shines in this performance from the earlier portion of her career. The portrayal of Hiroshi is one of the more subtle, substanced and interesting ways of using a ghost within the film framework. As minor a thing as it may be to the casual moviegoer, some of this film’s technical aspects are astounding, specifically the costuming and the lighting choices. Where the film distracts me, and therefore drops in these rankings, is where it takes the YA approach to the romantic drama, with a healthy dose of manic pixie dream girl energy thrown in for good measure. When it comes to displaying romance on-screen, be it teenage or otherwise, there are no expectations, even for a director with a distinct style. Where my issues arise are in the way that death is handled in this film… while I do understand that not every film has to be a distinct statement for a director (especially a film written by another individual), Gus Van Sant had already established a very mature approach to the subject of death, and the way that death and the manic pixie dream girl aspects are intertwined feels more on the amateur side than I am comfortable with for a Gus Van Sant film. Maybe giving the impossibly troubled young man a muse with an expiration date as his way to find the best version of himself is a stroke of genius that provides a gateway for deep commentary on the concept of the manic pixie dream girl, but the film is so approachable and not the type to bare teeth (be it satirically or otherwise) that I doubt there is any subtext to its intention. For that reason, this film finds itself on the bottom half of the Van Sant canon.

16. Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot (2018) After the critical and box office disappointment that was The Sea of Trees, director Gus Van Sant had quite the hill to climb with his next film, and with his adaptation of Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot, it seemed he was able to right those respective ships. Strangely, the film failed to connect with me, and as far as I can tell, it seems to be the victim of an “all sizzle, no steak” scenario. The film is certainly a showcase of a very diverse cast, and based on both the flashback-based and group therapy approach to the story, there are a wealth of opportunities to create memorable moments. Unfortunately, and perhaps due to an oversight on my end, I failed to find enough substance during my viewing of the film to prop up the parade of moments. What it felt like I was left with, sadly, was a Simple Jack-level approach to conveying a paraplegic-centered story, which undercut the fact that the film is actually telling the true story of cartoonist, artist and musician John Callahan. That’s not to say that the film doesn’t have it’s positive aspects, such as the John Callahan illustrations and the animated versions of his work, but those positive aspects feel sparse in comparison to how much the film relishes in what feels like Oscar bait. If nothing else, see this film for Jonah Hill, because it took me much longer than it should have to recognize him, partly due to his impressive weight loss and partly due to how dedicated he is to achieving the film’s period look.

15. The Sea of Trees (2015) Death is no stranger in the films of Gus Van Sant, but I don’t feel that it would be bold to state The Sea of Trees deals with death in the most direct manner. For those that subscribe to grief having stages, this film accounts for all of them in some way, shape or form during the course of the narrative as we watch Arthur Brennan fall apart and rediscover himself in the wake of losing Joan Brennan, his wife. Placing the film in Aokigahara (aka the "Japanese suicide forest") not only gives the film a sense of natural beauty, but a foreboding sense of dread and despair as well. The core cast is as strong as any found in a Van Sant film, with Matthew McConaughey, Ken Watanabe and Naomi Watts all turning in solid performances. Sadly, the film falters in one very core aspect : sympathy for the protagonist. I found myself feeling very bad for Joan Brennan as I watched her arc, and despite knowing nothing about Watanabe’s character portrayal of Takumi Nakamura, I found myself sympathetic to him based solely on what he was emoting. Arthur Brennan, however, is interesting in all the wrong ways… he is extremely cold and purposefully flat when introduced, the moments we share with the Brennans only seem to show Arthur finding joy at the expense of Joan’s pride, his view of the loss of his wife (and his world view in general) seem to be extremely self-centered, and when he does show heroic attributes they are rooted solely in self-preservation. Perhaps if Van Sant had not already made such eloquent reflections on death via The Death Trilogy and Paranoid Park, The Sea of Trees could have been seen in a different light, but when you set such a high bar for your work, returning to stereotypical storytelling can feel flat and uninspired.

14. Last Days (2005) Last Days is a film with a weird energy and aura surrounding it… in some ways, it feels like the most performative film not only of the Death Trilogy, but out of the entire Gus Van Sant catalog. At the risk of using too negative an adjective, it also feels the most exploitive, though neither of these observations are necessarily meant to be a knock against the film. The Death Trilogy could not help but be exploitive at its root, as each film was inspired by an infamous death event, and with Michael Pitt’s Blake meant to be an avatar for Kurt Cobain, it would be simple to take the film at face value for some sort of glamourized and idealized fictional retelling of his tragic final moments, not to mention a few stylistic nods to iconic Cobain-related imagery. What that viewer would be missing, in my opinion, is a film looking to make some familiar points on outsider culture (specifically alternative rock and roll counterculture and addict culture) minus all the glamour and shine. While Blake’s house is grand, it’s decrepit and in a state of disrepair… despite it being isolated, expected and unexpected guests arrive constantly, not to mention an intrusive ringing phone that connects Blake to outworld obligations… Blake has a number of people living with him, but he almost never interacts with them. Michael Pitt is done up to look so similar to Kurt Cobain that much of the narrative background is implied, and what we are left with is the Death Trilogy style implemented and fused onto a loose leaf narrative with just enough structure to let the supporting actors have isolated memorable moments while we watch Pitt’s Blake decay in the ways that many of us Cobain fans ruminated on in the wake of his sudden and tragic death at the height of his tortured popularity.

13. Gerry (2002) At the risk of sounding cliché, Gerry may be the most fascinating film in Gus Van Sant’s canon. It marks a clear and definitive break in convention from a director that seemingly never cared too much for convention anyway. Multiple aspects of this film make it extremely unique : both characters referring to one another by the same name (though Gerry eventually evolves into an all-purpose non-specific descriptor), a seemingly absent narrative, a shared goal between the characters literally referred to as “the thing” in order to purposely keep viewers in the dark and, perhaps most importantly, a deliberately methodical pacing that pushes even seasoned film lovers to the limits of their patience. The film is beautiful, and that is a fact that cannot be denied… the painterly shot compositions of our characters in the isolated desert, the unfathomably long tracking shots that pull us deeper off the beaten path and the sonic stillness (due to a largely absent score that is replaced with the sounds of nature) either commit you fully to the experiment or come off as massively pretentious. To view the film through that secondary lens, however, is to miss the point of it all. Once it is understood that Gerry marked the entry point for Gus Van Sant’s Death Trilogy, you began to realize that Van Sant, in tandem with Matt Damon and Casey Affleck, are giving us an understanding of how we should view the trilogy, and how open-minded we should be in processing what is given to us, like some early high-concept version of what Quentin Dupieux would later go on to master in a more abstract manner.

12. Mala Noche (1985) It’s fitting that this was a feature-length debut from a driven and working director, as it has a very distinct look and feel to it that immediately lets you know you’re dealing with an innate storyteller and someone who has spent time observing the human condition. In terms of visual and narrative balance, Gus Van Sant utilizes what feels like a mix of John Cassavetes and Jack Kerouac, respectively. Van Sant’s use of titles in the film is striking, specifically in terms of the handwritten opening credits and the Dr. Pepper ad copy used to subtitle the Spanish language dialogue. Focusing so heavily on immigration and homosexuality in 1985 is a bold choice, especially as neither group had yet to benefit (even if only minimally) from the onset of politically correct culture policing. While the film was more than likely shot in black and white due to budgetary constraints, the infusion of somewhat modern elements (for the time) gives it a youthful and forward-thinking energy. Having a film of this nature lean so heavily on multilingual and multicultural elements is refreshing, and even more impactful when examined under the boorish and (at times) tone deaf application that humanizes these elements. For all of these aspects of the film, however, when examined at the pure narrative foundation, what we find is a story about how love can blind us from the reality we inhabit, and how we often choose to ignore the obvious when romance and romanticism enters the picture.

11. Psycho (1998) Of all the films in the Van Sant catalog, perhaps the bravest, boldest and most baffling entry is his nearly shot for shot remake of the iconic Alfred Hitchcock thriller and cinematic game changer Psycho. Remakes were certainly not a new or unheard of practice at the time of the Van Sant Psycho release, but most directors opt to put significant twists or updates into their retelling of most remakes, and most films chosen do not hold the lofty stature and position that Psycho does when it comes to remakes. Van Sant’s approach not only made viewers keenly aware of just how direct the homage was, but in some places, modern touches were added in very subtle ways to make the movie more palatable for modern audiences, including more salacious references to sexuality, sound design choices in both the diegetic and symbolic realm, and even an update or two to iconic scenes meant to make us much more uneasy with the Vince Vaughn portrayal of Norman Bates. The actors cast were all famous and respected enough to keep the film’s timeless feeling in-tact, even if the remake could be taken as its own weird and warped project. Personally, I’ve always loved this remake, and taken it as an experiment on the highest commercial level, and a signal to all that Van Sant (at the time) was done with the traditional approach to filmmaking and concepting.

10. Paranoid Park (2007) While many movies centered around skateboarding spend their time and design budget trying to make the outsider nature of the practice look “cool”, Paranoid Park spends its time making sure that the isolation, deep focus and rebellious attitude that come with skateboarding were more authentic than they were appealing. High school is already a very taxing and polarizing section of juvenile development, and based on your perception at the time, the weight that the world unloads on you can feel wholly unbearable. Perhaps this is what makes Paranoid Park such a tense film… that natural teenage angst is already imprinted into the film (and amplified due to the casting of relative unknowns), but Gus Van Sant’s signature use of alternative film stocks, obscure soundtrack and expressive, layered sound design but you square in Alex’s head from the opening moments. As the narrative unfolds, we realize that Alex is not only dealing with standard-issue teen stress, but has unwillingly found himself involved in the type of events that change an individual’s world. This film plays well as the first film post-Death Trilogy, as it deals with the gravity of mortality head-on much like the aforementioned three films, but does so from an adaptive stance rather than one based on true events. If you’re a fan of skater flicks, movies with strong teen acting, or little-known Gus Van Sant gems, then Paranoid Park is a gem waiting for discovery.

9. Finding Forrester (2000) Gus Van Sant has always had a way with stories that dive below the surface of the human experience and condition, so it makes sense that his attempt at a New York-based movie about people living in “the hood” would cover an array of topics with masterful subtlety, specifically the topics of race relations, generational gaps and the blurry line between education and exploitation. The casting on this film is extremely strong… then newcomer Rob Brown gives a riveting and dynamic lead performance, it’d be harder to cast a more perfect curmudgeon than Sean Connery, and appearances by F. Murray Abraham, Anna Paquin, Busta Rhymes and a Matt Damon cameo all stand out. Speaking of Damon, Finding Forrester shares a similar energy to Good Will Hunting, but the proximity of release ultimately held Finding Forrester from finding its proper audience (no pun intended). I wish I had more to say about this film outside of my personal feelings and connections to the story (which I will save for a dedicated deep dive in the future), but Finding Forrester is one of those films that has no trouble speaking for itself.

8. Promised Land (2012) As of the point that this blog post was created, this film stands as the last of the great Van Sant creations. There is something about the Gus Van Sant approach to filmmaking that works best with “salt of the Earth” types, and with Promised Land being centered around the practice of fracking, much of that down-home nature is immediately baked into the story. Speaking of the story, the film was co-written by the characters who ended up being the protagonist and antagonist of the picture, respectfully, which created an electric main dynamic that served as the spine for many other strong dynamics present in the film. In terms of the cinematography, much of Van Sant’s bold approaches and stylistic shifts are absent, save for a few beautiful bird’s eye view perspective shots that give you a real idea of what rural America looks like. Van Sant is no stranger to stacked casts, but he gets some truly top notch names to take part in this affair, and true to the clout behind these names, the performances are as stellar as they are believable and natural. The film also touched a nerve with the actual oil industry due to some of its comments on fracking, despite it not having the reach or success of other Van Sant films. While possibly an indicator that Van Sant would be making a stylistic shift, Promised Land still manages to capture what makes Van Sant his best self in terms of not only presenting real people, but topical and important situations.

7. Milk (2008) Gus Van Sant is clearly no stranger to having representation for the gay community in his films, so it makes sense that one of the hallmark films in his canon would center around gay rights activist and politician Harvey Milk. Much like JFK crystalized Oliver Stone, or Spike Lee was raised to another echelon by Malcolm X, Van Sant found a second round of Academy Award-level validation via this biopic while solidifying himself as a creative who could go back and forth effortlessly between big budget studio films and independent projects. With Sean Penn giving one of his signature chameleon-like performances and leading the pack, this Van Sant production is filled with tons of burgeoning talent who have since gone on to make names for themselves in the industry, including the likes of Emile Hirsch, Diego Luna, James Franco, Alison Pill and others, plus a standout performance from Josh Brolin (who also depicted George W. Bush in the same year for the aforementioned Stone). While it may not be the most technically marveling film of Van Sant’s career, it is clearly one of his most important, and the way that it handles the messages it intends to share is as confident as it is even-keeled, which is important for a film that could have easily become a soapbox for espousing personal beliefs and political agendas.

6. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1993) This Gus Van Sant adaptation of the famed author Tom Robbins novel shares the same creative energy of films like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Natural Born Killers, Harold and Maude and so on in the sense that it is a very expressive film with a very specific idea it is looking to present. Where the aforementioned films explored ideas of free love taken to the extreme, the toxicity of media, love without judgement and so on (respectively), Even Cowgirls Get the Blues puts femininity and identity outside of the male gaze squarely in its crosshairs. Uma Thurman takes on the role of Sissy with wide-eyed zeal, floating through a series of hitchhiker-based adventures until her reluctant visit to the Rubber Road Ranch helps her find the missing piece of her puzzle. Seeing a bizarre, star-studded tale of a woman finding her agency sounds like it would work on the surface, but from what I could find, the film failed to make a connection with audiences and is considered a commercial and critical failure (which is probably why it was the toughest film to track down on this list). That being said, I’m a sucker for films that catch a bad rap, especially when the combination of such a unique director and visionary author are the foundation of it, because it makes me curious about why I find connection where others did not… who knows, maybe it was those extremely distracting rubber thumbs (the only real knock I can make on the film), or maybe the Tom Robbins style is tough to transfer from page to screen, but for my money’s worth, I can see the vision.

5. My Own Private Idaho (1991) Somewhere within the intersection of films like Midnight Cowboy and Fight Club lies My Own Private Idaho, an extremely personal and nuanced film that covers many topics with depth and an ease that comes with wisdom and experience. For example, when it comes to views on identity, we get two rich narratives that could easily both be their own film : Mike (portrayed by River Phoenix) is going through a crisis of identity based on a sordid history with his mother and absentee father that makes his search for love transform into a life of hustling as a way to find momentary intimacy; meanwhile, Keanu Reeves (who plays Scott) is an entitled young man awaiting an inheritance that decides to spend the time until it happens “slumming” with those many would consider the outcasts of society, much like the “tourists” spoken of by Edward Norton’s narrator in Fight Club. The struggle with masculinity in the face of homosexuality is all over this film, from its multiple male on male connections to the very toxic manner that the core group interacts with one another, when they are not grieving or putting their livelihood in danger via petty crimes. In terms of Van Sant style, the film is one of his most innovative (outside of the film holding the top spot) in terms of looks, with its unique range of colorful title cards, the pinhole vision that Mike uses on his road, or even the standout magazine rack sequence. The film is also a perfect follow-up to Drugstore Cowboy, and could easily double feature with it to this day. As someone not wholly familiar with Shakespeare’s Henry plays, I did not catch that My Own Private Idaho was an adaptation, so I will not only have to revisit it with that familiarity in tow, but I will have to take a look into James Franco’s re-cut, My Own Private River, as well.

4. Elephant (2003) Based solely on the nature and definition of a trilogy, a second film can make or break things. Gerry and Last Days share similarities in how quiet and isolated they are, so it makes sense that Elephant, part two of Van Sant’s Death Trilogy, would in many ways be the meat of the trilogy sandwich in terms of style and thematic substance. Elephant operates on several distinct levels based on Van Sant’s observations of the world going into the new millennium, as the film allowed him a foundation for both experimentation and examination by proxy. While the long takes and vast amount of distance traveled during said takes was present in all three films of the trilogy, Van Sant made a concentrated effort to make the shots look and feel similar to that of video games like the later Grand Theft Auto entries, hence a number of the shots being positionally locked during travel (often times a few feet behind the character at the center of that moment’s focus). There are ramp-downs of the frame rate to punctuate certain moments, and quite often the camera is thrown on a tripod and allowed to take in the array of high schoolers living their standard life. It is this mundane world-building aspect that not only gives the viewer a rapid but deep look into a handful of character’s lives, but it gives you a sense of the school’s social hierarchy while forcing you to reflect on where you once stood within it. Per the film’s clever title, the elephant in the room eventually appears in the form of Eric and Alex, the pair of school shooters meant to reflect the Columbine Massacre perpetrators. While school shootings weren’t an unknown phenomenon going into the 2000’s, Elephant became prophetic in its vision by releasing right before the numbers started rising at an alarming rate on these incidents. In that sense, Elephant holds the dual distinction of not only being one of Van Sant’s best films, but one of his most important. I will soon be looking into the 1989 Elephant film as well.

3. Drugstore Cowboy (1989) The power of Drugstore Cowboy as a modern-day narrative tragedy about the epidemic of prescription drugs, the dark allure of crime and the oddball way that broken people find solace in one another is immediately evident to anyone who has had the pleasure to see Gus Van Sant’s studio directorial debut. Where the film really stands out however, in my opinion, is the way that Van Sant is able to achieve his major studio look while deeply applying a very artistic and personal aesthetic to the cinematography and editing. The traditional looks are interspersed with the use of different film stocks, subtle blends of animation and flashes of stylistic edits that were almost certainly an inspiration for Darren Aronofsky’s “hip-hop editing” style. Add to this an incredibly intuitive and expressive core cast driven by the chemistry between Matt Dillon and Kelly Lynch (and a very early Heather Graham supporting appearance), plus a strong appearance by the always memorable Max Perlich, a fiery James Remar performance and an iconic cameo from William S. Burroughs. The jazz-influenced score not only makes key scenes livelier, but it is a symbolic statement on the drug use depicted in the film, while simultaneously playing counter to the soundtrack choices. Period, point-blank, Drugstore Cowboy is the kind of film that surely put the world on notice, and was a clear signal of the magnificent work that would follow.

2. Good Will Hunting (1997) If held up to the standards of what people consider to be good (or even classic) film, Good Will Hunting more than holds up to scrutiny. Visually there are a small handful of flourishes, and having Elliot Smith’s music accompany Will’s painful but enlightening journey has only become more of a bittersweet sting as the years go by. In terms of performances, everyone brought their A+ game to the table, be it the leading performances of Matt Damon, Robin Williams or Stellan Skarsgård, the supporting performances of Ben Affleck or Minnie Driver, or even the engaging nature of Cole Hauser and repeat scene stealer Casey Affleck. After a flurry of dedicated fandom viewings in the years following this film’s release, a very long period away from the film where I had leagues of personal growth, and a revisitation for this set of rankings, what I have discovered is that Good Will Hunting presents a wish fulfillment fantasy that was nearly incapable of being a reality in the pre-internet age for anyone other than a character like Will : an undiscovered genius with a degree from the school of hard knocks. In a world where people often wish they had the correct answer to every question, the looks and personality to be a social magnet, and the ability to back up any tough talk with stone hands, Will Hunting stood as an idealized example you wished you could peel off the screen and have some beers with. As the internet has invaded our lives, however, most everyone has turned into a keyboard version of Will Hunting, looking for fights online when not having briefly intimate Google sessions to flex our supposed knowledge. Much like Will, many people find that the knowledge minus the wisdom of worldly experience and vulnerability leaves you a shell of a person filled to the eyeballs with regret, and perhaps that is why this film only gets better as the years go by, and remains among the best of the Van Sant creations.

1. To Die For (1995) For the longest time, I avoided To Die For simply because I was not a fan of Nicole Kidman… the vast majority of her roles held no interest to me prior to To Die For (it took Eyes Wide Shut for me to really start paying attention to her), and because she was so key to the film, there was never a sense of urgency about seeing it. As time went by, however, I started to hear rumblings that To Die For may have been a bit ahead of its time, to the point that technology and social practices have caught up to some of the ideas presented in the film. I finally watched it for this ranking set, and man, I really missed the boat on this one. Plain and simple, this film is pure genius on every level. The presentation starts off documentary-esque, which not only allows for expedited distribution of backstory information, but immediately gives you an idea for the personalities of our key characters. Kidman’s portrayal of Suzanne stood as the textbook example for what has become commonly known as sociopathy, with her blind desire for fame and respect leading to a wake of human destruction. In terms of narrative pacing, the film proceeds like a match dropped at the endpoint of a long gasoline trail, slowly drifting towards the eventually point that everything blows up and damage must be assessed while blame and accountability must be handled, resulting in a truly powerful ending more than deserving of the heavy lifting that precedes it. The 24-hour news cycle was on the horizon in 1995, daytime talk shows and MTv’s The Real World had not shifted into the reality TV landscape that we know today, and while a few high profile cases such as the Menendez Brothers and Pamela Smart trial (the loose inspiration for this film) had happened, the bombshell and watershed trail that was the O.J. Simpson murder case was hot on the heels of To Die For’s release (the same month, actually). Stylistically, the film also bears striking resemblance to an updated version of Sunset Boulevard, be it knowingly or not. Long story short, the best films not only comment on the times in which they are created, but gain relevance as time passes, and To Die For handled both of these things phenomenally.

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halseyhazzard · 3 years

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The Redemption of Judee Sill

Halsey Hazzard, fall 2018

for a writing class on pop culture criticism “So much sensationalist bullshit has been written about Judee Sill (by people who never knew her) focusing on her days as a hooker and a junkie.” So begins Pat Thomas’s interview with Tommy Peltier, a longtime friend and collaborator of Sill’s, in the liner notes to the recently and lovingly compiled “Songs of Rapture and Redemption: Rarities & Live.” He’s not wrong; in nearly all of the writing on Sill, her music, an inimitable blend of gospel, folk and country at once bluesy and baroque, plays second fiddle to the stranger- and sadder-than-fiction story of her all-too-brief life. Her eponymous 1971 debut and 1973’s Heart Food were met with praise from critics and her fellow songwriters alike; in 1973 Steve Holden called Judee a “most gifted artist, one who continues to promise almost more than I dare hope for.” Unfortunately — for Sill and for those who loved her, and for those of us who love her music — much of that promise never came to pass. She died in obscurity in 1979, leaving behind an unfinished third record and quietly ascending to the pantheon of young, brilliant musicians who died too soon.

It’s hard to write about Sill without relying on sensationalist bullshit. I suppose in writing this at all I’m contributing to the problem, but like so many others, I have joined the ranks of Sill’s devoted disciples, compelled to tell and retell her story to rectify fate’s perceived cruel disservice to a great talent. What emerges is not always a faithful portrait of the complicated artist Sill was, but rather a shifting and sometimes contradictory fable that cements Sill’s status as a legend — not, as she might have hoped, as “an extremely famous or notorious person,” but rather as the subject of a “story sometimes popularly regarded as historical but unauthenticated.”

The story goes something like this: Judee Sill was born Judith Lynne Sill to an average, unhappy middle class household in Los Angeles in 1944. She fell in with a rough crowd, got married, committed a series of crimes, got addicted to various drugs, went to jail, got married again. Eventually she cleaned up her act, put the gospel licks she’d learned in reform school to good use, and became the first act signed to David Geffen’s Asylum label. She put out two albums of intricate songs that married earthly desire and longing for heavenly salvation, populated with lonely cowboy types and vigilantes that sometimes seemed strikingly similar to Jesus. For a few shining years it seemed like Sill had made it. It soon became clear (the story goes) that fame was not what fate had in store for her. Until 2003, when Rhino issued Judee Sill and Heart Food on CDs for the first time as part of its Handmade series, Sill was “[u]nlamented and all but forgotten.” These are the words of Barney Hoskyns, who in a 2004 Guardian profile declared “[t]he tragic Judee Sill is well overdue for (re)discovery.” Since then, interest in Sill’s life and music has steadily increased thanks to a series of posthumous reissues and releases: 2005’s “Dreams Come True,” a two-disk set of unreleased recordings mixed by Jim O’Rourke (Sonic Youth, Wilco); Live in London: The BBC Recordings 1972-1973, released in 2007; and “Chariot of Astral Light,” an intimate collaboration with aforementioned Tommy Peltier recorded in the ‘70s and finally released in 2004.

In a review of the 2004 Intervention reissue of Judee Sill titled “The Judee Sill Cult Continues, This Time at 45RPM,” Michael Fremer of Analogplanet writes, “sometimes "legends" are created and nurtured simply by tragic circumstances. In Judee Sill's case add wasted talent and unfulfilled great promise that add up to a movie worthy story.” Sill’s life has yet to inspire a movie (although a seemingly-deserted IMDB page indicates at least one attempt at a documentary), but songwriter Laura Veirs’ “Song for Judee,” renders the Judee Sill legend in sparse yet cinematic detail. In it, Veirs’ voice echoes on top of warm, jangling guitars, the apparently upbeat melody betrayed by the sadness of the story it tells:

“You wrote “The Kiss” and it is beautiful

I can listen again and again

You never really got a break

From the car wrecks and the pain”

The crux of the Judee Sill legend is captured in these lines, which immediately identify Sill’s work with the tragic events of her life. Sill’s music is mentioned in Veir’s lyric but once, and only glancingly; it’s not even clear “The Kiss” is a song, or “Judee” a songwriter. Veirs’ appreciation for her music is given is as pretext for why the listener should care about Sill’s life, but it’s clear the main attraction here is tragedy. The rest of this atypical ode is not praise, but a retelling, addressed to Sill herself, of key moments in the legend of her life. What emerges is a tellingly concise fable that identifies Sill with the lonely phantom cowboys who populate her lyrical landscape.

Veirs appears to have lifted her narrative and several phrases from the BBC documentary. She mines in particular the commentary from Peltier, who says Sill was his best friend and shares the insights that would come to compose Veirs’ chorus: “You loved the Sons of the Pioneers and the Hollywood cowboy stars/you were just trying to put a hand to where we are.” She also borrows, nearly word-for-word, an introduction Judee gave during one of her London radio performances in 1972, describing her time “living in a ‘55 Cadillac, five people sleeping in shifts.” This almost creates an intimacy with Sill, whom Veirs had never met; however, there remains an insurmountable distance. Sill had been dead 35 years — as long as she was alive — by the time this ode was composed. While Veirs hints at Sill’s troubles in the first verse, only in the last verse does she make explicit what happened: “They found you with a needle in your arm, beloved books strewn ‘round at your feet”. The revelation gives the chorus retroactive prophetic relevance. The past tense, once wistful, is now crushing.

Her death, like her life, became part of the legend. There are general points of agreement: she had been in several car accidents, was using heroin again, and died of an overdose just after Thanksgiving 1979. Everything else is less clear. Though her death certificate reports she was found dead in her house in North Hollywood, a persistent rumor suggested she had disappeared to Mexico to live out her final days. Her death was reported as a suicide, but family members and friends maintain that the note found near her, a characteristic musing on death and redemption, was an idea for a song.

The title of a 2014 BBC Radio documentary by Ruth Barnes says it all: “The Lost Genius of Judee Sill.” Sill’s genius is preceded by its lostness. Sill herself comes last. Her music is mentioned too, of course. They quote Sill’s self-description of her work as “country-cult-baroque” and her professed influences, Bach and Pythagoras. (In some versions of the quote, Ray Charles is thrown in.) Yet every time, it seems, someone brings up that she wrote “Jesus Was a Crossmaker,” about JD Souther, that Graham Nash produced it. She was the inaugural artist on David Geffen’s Asylum, we’re told, .She opened for Crosby Stills and Nash, and Cat Stevens, and Gordon Lightfoot — and so on. These revelations are usually accompanied by astonishment at the fact that she failed to find the commercial success of her peers, despite her comparable — perhaps superior — talents.

Many have offered explanations about how this happened. There is a general consensus that her falling-out with Geffen played a role. It’s not exactly clear what happened. The word “faggot” was involved, but whether it was said live or on the radio, in reference to Geffen himself or a pair of his pink shoes, is up for debate. Whatever she said severed their relationship. Some contend that she may have been in love with him, and was hurt when he spurned her advances. Others point out that she was growing frustrated with what she saw as his lack of promotion for her music. By this point, she was already making no secret of her disdain for the “snotty rock bands” she had to open for, and I doubt this did her any favors.

The contradictions in people’s stories exacerbate the larger-than-life quality of her life and times, as do the many cliches used to tell her story. Headlines variously declare her “a star that fame forgot,” “L.A.’s doomed lady of the canyon who lost her genius to drugs,” a “mystic” who “walked among us.” The human Judee Sill is lost somewhere beneath this sensationalism. It is no wonder why her friends and family members, Tommy Peltier chief among them, feel so compelled to set the record straight by providing their version of events. In his remarks in “Songs of Rapture and Redemption,” Peltier is quick to discourage speculation about her drug use and past prostitution, declaring instead “She was just the most beautiful person.”

“Beautiful,” you may recall, was the only word Laura Veirs could come up with to describe “The Kiss.” When I first heard “The Kiss,” I was immediately struck by how inadequate the word was to describe what I was hearing. The song showcases the best of her efforts to induce mathematically precise intervals into intricate melodies that aren’t so much heard as felt. Her lyrics, confusing the sacred and profane, ride the thin ridge between love and logic, devotion and desperation. Over shifting and plaintive piano Sill sings a eulogy to stars bursting in the sky and begs a lover — god? — to come and hold her “while you show me how to fly.” I first heard “The Kiss” in a YouTube video, one of few that survives of her performing, whose introduction insists that she herself was determined to be a successful musician. Ironically, the video shows precisely why perhaps she couldn’t be: severe and guileless, Sill hunches over the piano as if it were all that exists, engrossed in the song’s intense and uncommercial emotional intensity.

Sill’s idiosyncrasies are on full display in “Songs of Rapture and Redemption”, a compilation whose greatest strength is its commitment to capturing the artist and all her contradictions in her own words. The sleeve features a candid photograph of a smiling Sill, alongside several of her paintings and drawings. The tracks included are a combination of live recordings, demos, and studio outtakes that lay bare the deceptive complexity of her compositions. In the Boston Music Hall performance that opens the record, Sill, armed only with an acoustic guitar, tells the audience “I’m going to sing you a few little songs before David [Crosby] and Graham [Nash] get here. I’d like to sing you this song called “The Vigilante”. It’s new, I hope I remember the words.” The self-effacing introduction notwithstanding, what follows is nothing short of revelatory.

An early highlight is “Enchanted Sky Machines,” a bluesy number about waiting for the end of the world where she trades her distinctive fingerpicking for pentecostal piano licks she picked up in reform school. There is an aching earnestness to the way she sings of swallowing her yearning, and it carries over into “The Archetypal Man,” which begins with Sill singing the song’s opening harpsichord solo. Before “Crayon Angels,” she describes how she would call up friends as she was writing the album and sing them instrumental solos, joking that it must have been hard for them to like her in those days. The crowd is in on it, and her self-deprecating humor belies a clear confidence in her talents and her musical vision that is justified by the virtuosic grace of her playing. Sill was a perfectionist who demanded and deserved creative control, a notoriously laborious songwriter who could be a tyrant in the studio, and these tendencies are on full display even in this humble solo set. When she introduces her second last song, “The Lamb Ran Away With the Crown,” she enunciates every word, then repeats it again — ”with. the. crown.” — determined to ensure the the audience walks away knowing exactly what she was saying.

The set ends with Judee’s signature song, “Jesus Was a Crossmaker,” which had only just been released to radio two days prior. She calmly reveals the song’s inspiration, an unhappy relationship with a “bandit and a heartbreaker,” and describes waking up one day with the conviction “that even that wretched bastard was not beyond redemption.” Her diction is clear, her tone less so. The audience, nonetheless moved, cheers and laughs. She goes on: “It’s true, I swear. It saved me, this song. It was writing this song or suicide. It’s called “Jesus is a Crossmaker” and I hope you like it.” Her voice seems monotonous for such an emotional confession, but that stops mattering as soon as the song begins.

Instantly her singing voice, freed from the perfectionism of her studio recordings, reveals itself as strikingly human. Precise, unadorned, free of vibrato, it is flat in places, sharp in others, yet cuts to the rhythmic core of each note. She struggles with a few of the intervals she has given herself to sing, but this only enhances the song, giving human voice to the mathematical precision of her compositions, linking the downtrodden with the divine. With her unpretentious voice and deceptively simple language, she strives to speak redemption into being. Her longing for it is audible.

Such longing is a key theme in much of sill’s work, and nowhere is it more pronounced than in “Crayon Angels”:

Crayon Angel songs are slightly out of tune

But I'm sure I'm not to blame

Nothing's happened, but I think it will soon

So I sit here waiting for God and a train to the Astral plane

Later in the song, she confesses “Guess reality is not as it seems so I sit here hoping for truth, and a ride to the other side”. Sill knows the truth she longs for is unattainable, at least in this lifetime — but she remains unflagging in her belief in something. It is this belief that motivates her music. To characterize Sill as a god-given genius laid low by fate undercuts her formidable musical ambition, and the sincerity with which she approached her craft. The work she created was not purely inspired by the divine, but instead strove for it, confronting the inevitable impossibility of reaching perfection with the all-too-human drive for beauty in the face of death. Still, one gets the sense that Sill herself, enthralled as she was with cowboy stories and cosmic secrets, might appreciate the mythic proportions her life story has taken. I like to think that she’s made it to the Astral plane, and that wherever she is, she’s smiling.

#h: assignment #h: 2018 #judee sill #music criticism #folk music #songs of rapture and redemption

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