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mooncleaver · 2 years

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it is my greatest honor, loving you

ღ life may not be eternal, but your love for him surely is

ღ pairing: percy jackson x gn! reader

ღ warnings: very much angst, unrequited love obviously, major character death, graphic descriptions of wounds/blood

now playing ⇝ cardigan by taylor swift

my masterlist ♡

"why are you so reckless? you could've hurt yourself out there!" his voice sounded hoarse and tired, as if grains of sand ran through his throat as he attempted to calmly reprimand you. huh, that was ironic coming from percy. coming from a boy who'd sacrifice his own self for the sake of saving the people he loved.

now one might wonder how exactly you got into this situation, barely holding up while you clutched yourself, staring at the boy you came to love, arguing with him.

the battle of the labyrinth had been a tough and devastating one, annihilating a large number of demigods in the camp. it seemed that no one left the battle unscarred, whether physically or mentally.

perhaps one of the biggest losses was dionysus' son, castor, your fellow campmate. he was your friend,—a kind and fiercely loving one—often laughing and joking around together with him and pollux in the pavilion whenever you got the chance to. the earth had cried for him the moment he fell limp to the ground, soul whisked away in the arms of thanatos while the wine god's rage casted a mass of serpentine vines where he lay, the oblique, verdant greeneries prodding at his cold figure.

there were too many precious souls who were lost—among them being the ever-bright lee fletcher, who's light died when a giant brought his cruel demise—and the list only seemed to get longer the more you thought about it. you too, would be lining up for judgment soon enough, you predicted.

it was all too fast for you to fully remember, but one moment you were fighting off a giant and the next you had thrown yourself at a demigod from kronos' army intending to hurt an unaware percy. suddenly you were gripped so tightly on the shoulders, eyes widening with a quivering gasp while you looked down, only to see scarlet liquor leaking out of an obtrusive hole in your stomach, the twisted grin of your enemy patronizing your defenseless figure as you staggered back and clutched the liquid that flowed relentlessly. maybe if they didn't shuck it out as fast as it came in, maybe you would've lasted a lot longer. all you could do was choke out an amalgamation of incoherent sounds, knotting the flannel outer you wore around your midriff; the coil only flared the excruciating agony you were in.

you heard him crying out for you somewhere in the middle of it all, rough-hewn and distinctive among the clashing ores and shouts of rage and defeat. your stubborn head proved itself defiant when you'd ignored his pleas, his voice already fading away as he was dragged into another fight in the chaos. percy didn't see the folk puncturing you, only the aftermath when you stumbled back, your aghast reaction unmistakable to him. and maybe it was a good thing that he didn't know the severity of your condition. that only meant that he would bear much less of a burden than what he was already dealing with.

as dumb as it was, you kept fighting even after being heavily injured. your stab wound wasn't that bad, was it? if you could still stand—barely, that is—then you could still fight. the ringing in your ears only grew worse as adrenaline slowly numbed the pain, your vision turning into dizzy kaleidoscopes with every movement of your weapon.

you hoped your effort contributed something in the battle. somewhere in your mind you knew you'd end up at death's door sooner or later; there was no way you'd reach help in time before the immense blood loss took you away. but if there was one thing you knew, you wanted to be a hero before you died. you wanted to be able to leave a legacy behind, imagining an echoing battle cry before you fell with your dear sword beside you, or to die by protecting someone else so they could live a life fuller than yours. and you wanted to love someone completely, love someone so much that it leaves a searing inferno in your heart, to have a love that makes you go mad, a love that makes you feel alive. even if the one person you gave yourself to didn't want you.

it was something you'd never regret: being percy jackson's friend; loving him along the way, too. it has been your greatest adventure and your greatest honor to know him in this life, from the moment you stumbled upon his lonely figure near the muted docks of the traversing lake to the second you knew you cared for him in a way that transcended your own being. it was one of the most shattering experiences in your life: finding out that he didn't feel the same way about you. that intimate moment when he confessed his feelings about someone else right in front of your eyes; that would haunt you forever. if you could, you would erase that recollection from the depths of your mind, but you cared for him too much to forget that rare vulnerability shared between the two of you. you don't even think you have the will to erase any memory of percy jackson.

you'd cried yourself to sleep that night, wishing that it was all a dream when you woke up the next dawn. but fate has a funny way of working. each passing of her name on his lips chipped your heart away bit by bit, till it turned into a dilapidated mess that barely resembled what it looked like when the youth of discovering your first love coursed through its veins.

but no matter how much heartbreak hurt, loving someone is never a waste.

the two of you would never happen, no, not in a million years you thought. he had already given his heart away to someone else a long time ago, someone who you knew couldn't accept his love right now. it was just agonizing too see the way he would continue to pine after her and end up in the dust when reality came crushing in. still, he never gave up on her. because you simply don't give up on love.

that undying loyalty of his—the one you grew to despise and admire at the same time. you watched the way he chose her over you. every, single, time.

you understood it to a certain degree; you can't choose who you fall in love with. but that didn't make it hurt any less. so here you were now, left with a barren heart while you helped him pick up the pieces of his own.

percy's cry broke you out of your miserable thoughts, befuddled at how you were so accepting of your predicament. of course he would be. he didn't know you did it for him. "σκατά, y/n, you can't just- you can't risk your life for someone else!"

"but i did it for you." the silence became a little too loud, ringing in your ears like a haunted pendulum.

"what?" was his breathless response. his jaw was slowly opening, moving without a sound as if he didn't know what to say. you saw the way his brows scrunched up together, the way his jaw clenched and unclenched.

you repeated it again. "i did it for you."

your face looked soulless, blotches of crimson blooming in petalled coteries on the ivory ribbons wrapped around your body. you had a cut on the vermillion border of your lips, blood slowly seeping back out the more you talked. it was becoming more difficult to open your eyes. your body was screaming at you to lay down, aching with a heaviness in your bones that could not be salvaged. you just wanted to rest, but you wouldn't leave him hanging like that. even if the closure was a painful one, it would be cruel to leave percy without telling him the truth of your heart. at least, that's what you thought. if you were going to die, then you were going to take one last chance of happiness than conceal it and close your eyes with only the memory of sorrow long lasting.

it was almost pitiful, really, the way you were still willing to entertain him even in your detrimental state. your eyes were sunken in deep exhaustion, still laden with mist that glinted as it caught the effulgent flicker lighting up the back of a cabin you could not bother to recognize.

he raised his voice at first, utter confusion and frustration unfurling in his tone until it dimmed out to something much softer, like the barely contained hurt was still lingering. "why?!.. why me?" his timbre earned a softer edge to it, fading into a sotto voce and if you let your hopes get a little too high you might've thought there was a hint of care in it.

you knew if you tilted your gaze the slightest bit at his direction you'd cave into the look in his eyes. it was too easy, too easy for percy to worm his way into your heart no matter how much he hurt you.

..why him?

why not him. it was the easiest thing in the world to do anything for percy jackson. you didn't understand why it was so hard for him to acknowledge the fact that you would actually walk to the ends of the earth for him and retrieve the stars from the sky if he wished. it was him who taught you that love was just as fragile and destructive as it was wonderful and invaluable, him who helped you open your eyes to a world much beautiful than what you'd made of it. and that in itself was worth far more than any materialistic attainment you've ever received. was it because he was questioning his place in your heart? how much you cherished him?

anger and sadness were a dangerous pair, and the pain you felt turned into something that blazed the walls of your heart, burning a path through your line of thought until frustration marred each corner of your mind. why couldn't he understand what your heart was trying to say? was it not obvious the way you were so painfully enamored by him? how dare he question his worth to you?

they say the eyes are the windows to the soul, bearing the deepest and obscure feelings one could have.

if percy wanted to know and wanted to see what you felt so badly, then you would show him exactly that. you looked up to him, arms clenched around your midriff with eyes carrying the heaviest spectacle of sorrow and longing; eyes that bared the weight of a burden held far too long and at that moment he finally understood. understood the utter pain and hopelessness you had repressed, understood why you were so willing to give your own life for him.

"because i love you, goddamit! i love you.."

the tension was more than palpable after your passion-filled declaration. you saw the way he faltered, staggering back almost with the brunt of what you just said. his breaths grew ragged and his eyes moved wildly as if he was searching for any bit of a lie in you.

"take that back.. please we can't- i can't-"

and then finally the words you've dreaded were spoken out of his mouth. a defeated breathe was knocked out of you the second he finished that sentence, burning through your nostrils while it flared the fountain threatening to cascade from your heavy waterline. no amount of mental preparation could've supported you in this moment. you already knew what he was going to say, unfortunately. you saw it in the way he refused let go of her despite the tribulations he faced. it just hurt knowing that your heart thought if the uncertainty of tomorrow was looming above, there might have been hope somewhere in there.

"cant what, percy? accept the love someone has for you when the person you're chasing after so clearly does not give one shit about you!" for a moment you watched the pain morph onto his face, and you knew you'd hit a nerve when you said that. it felt wrong.. so wrong to hurt him, but your anger and desperation got the best of you this time.

"i love you so much that it hurts," you pointed at your chest, borderline hurting yourself as your fists bunched up and tugged on the bloodied orange shirt that sheathed your wounded skin. "it hurts to see you in pain, to see your heart breaking apart when i can't even do anything about it. and i would.. i would do anything for you, but you-.. you don't want me.. and that's okay!" you laughed humorlessly, the sound so harrowingly hollow that it almost made him flinch.

"i'm okay.." you whispered and it sounded as if you were trying to convince yourself that you were not already crumbling.

"but that will never stop making me care about you. that's what love does to a person, percy, and i cant just take it back.." you wiped away the defiant tears that managed to flow down the planes of your face, sniffing the waver in your voice away and trying to look strong so he wouldn't feel so guilty over something he couldn't control.

"no, i wont take it back. because for me.. for me it's enough to know that i've made a change in your life—big or small. i could never regret loving you, percy."

and for the first time percy jackson truly felt like a coward. a coward to walk away, a coward to leave you with a broken heart, only shattering it more when he stepped out of that damn balcony. he felt like a coward for pushing away the unimaginable.

he didn't know that a few minutes later you'd collapsed from excessive blood loss, clutching that untreated wound on your stomach in a last attempt to get to the infirmary. he didn't know that this would be the last words he would hear from you—words that were so incredibly impassioned and sincere. he didn't know the exhaustion the apollo kids felt the minute you were carried in,—battered, mangled and barely pulling through—knowing there was yet another valiant soul they could not save. he did not know that till your last tattered breath you'd thought of him, a serene smile soothing your face as you surrendered to the familiar arms of reclamation that cradled your weightless body while the light slowly faded away.

percy jackson didn't know many things that night. he didn't understand how something so important to one could be snatched away so easily like that, didn't understand why everything always happened the way fate planned it to be. but he knew he'd just lost the one constant love he's ever known; the one that was right in front of him the whole time, offering their heart on a silver platter only to be left decaying the moment you finally decided to choose your own happiness over the resolute of resignation.

FINALLY going back to my roots and writing unrequited love my beloved 🥰

imagine the disbelief and elation i was in when i found this in my wip files.. i don't know why i suddenly abandoned it??

σκατά : shit

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kerimboz · 4 months

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Kerim é bissexual e birrômantico, então as conexões não vão ter indicações de gêneros. Deixarei uma lista bastante genérica, pois vou focar mais no desenvolvimento de acordo com as interações dos nossos chars e em preencher as conexões existentes dos outros players.

friends;

MUSE A — é alguém com quem ele se sente bastante à vontade para conversar sobre tudo. Os dois são amigos de longas datas, vê nele seu ponto de apoio e segurança. Além da família, Eric é a uma das poucas pessoas que conhece o Kerim de verdade. (open)

christie — Kerim recepcionou christie no acampamento, cuidou em lhe mostrar tudo e ajudar na adaptação. Algo que criou uma ligação entre eles. Não importa quanto tempo passe, Ken ainda vê o outro como une irmãe mais nove, como algo frágil e precioso a ser protegido. E ele geralmente não faz o tipo protetor, chato, que fica em cima. Mas com muse b, as coisas são um tanto diferentes, como se ele não conseguisse controlar. (closed)

família (exclusivo filhos de: Poseidon, Hades e Zeus);

Thomas — relação de irmãos é sempre algo complicado, principalmente quando vocês são competitivos e orgulhosos demais. Os dois têm uma relação meio conturbada, competem por quase tudo e dizendo que é só a forma de manter as coisas saudáveis. No fundo, Kerim realmente se importa com o mais novo, só é casca grossa demais para admitir isso de graça. (closed)

inimizades;

MUSE D — eram amigos desde que conseguiam se lembrar, inseparáveis a todos os momentos. Quer dizer, isso antes de Kerim decidir levar uma vida comum e mortal, saindo do acampamento sem olhar para trás. Não respondia as mensagens ou ligações de MUSE D, pois queria esquecer essa parte da sua vida. Agora que voltou ao camp e se reencontraram, tudo voltou a tona e ele esta tentando reparar as coisas, sente-se pesado por ter ignorado MUSE D, não foi nada bacana. (open)

MUSE E — a semelhança entre eles é notória para todos, menos para eles, que sempre usam de algo na personalidade alheia (que têm em comum) para destacar o quanto odeiam o outro, e o quanto eles não poderiam ser amigos. Kerim não sabe ao certo o motivo de simplesmente detestar outrem, parece algo de energia ou pessoal, não importa, ele simplesmente não gosta e não faz questão de esconder. (open)

românticas;

obs: vejo a necessidade de deixar claro que nenhuma cnn é garantia/obrigatoriamente um ship. não fecho conexões de ship sem desenvolvimento de dash, com isso digo: jogos onde seja possível ver a dinâmica dos chars, hc's, dentre outros.

Juno — Os dois são como polos de um imã, se atraem e repelem ao mesmo nível. Juno consegue tirar o homem do sério, só de mudar a forma como respira e isso é um tanto incomodo para Kerim. Ao mesmo tempo, elu tem sido uma das pessoas que desperta seu lado mais solto, íntimo e romântico. (closed)

MUSE G — algo mais simples e puramente físico, quem iria contestar? O que Kerim sabe é que gosta da companhia de outrem um pouco além do que aparentam socialmente e muito mais do que deveria, visto que não deseja se apegar a alguém novamente. ( open )

Maxence — o primeiro relacionamento sério a gente nunca esquece. Mas Ken poderia chamar o que teve com Max de relacionamento? Tantos anos depois e ele ainda não saberia responder isso, o que sabe é que passaram da amizade para o algo mais, para ele um namoro, para Max algo que nunca foi verbalizado. Agora nada disso importava realmente, passaram três anos longe e o retorno apesar de abalar algumas estruturas, ainda parece manter o termino como algo solido. (closed)

Isabella — a atração que existe entre ambos é inegável, ainda assim, insistem em negar que algo possa acontecer. São pessoas que tendem a se compreender e completar em quase todos os sentidos: empatia, respeito, confiança, carinho... tudo parece existir entre elus, mas algo falta e Ken sabe bem o que é, ele não consegue mergulhar de cabeça nisso, pois teme amar e perder outra vez, então mantém uma distancia de Izzy, pensando que assim pode evitar o florescer de sentimentos ainda mais confusos. (closed)

Genéricas:

melhores amigos;

parceiros de bebida;

pessoa aleatória que sempre que encontra se diverte;

amigos que viraram inimigos;

inimigos;

rivais;

ex’s;

#𝟎𝟑. development ﹂ A friend to all is a friend to none.#𝟎𝟓. extras ﹂ Marked me like a bloodstain.

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urboymutual · 2 years

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To be anything was enough. To be anyone was enough.

the growing-up itch by k.c cramm + evan “buck” buckley (9-1-1)

#i know only like 2 mutuals will care abt this post but #ive been working on this for like 3 days sob #anyways its abt the desperation for any type of love and attention buck could get #i originally wanted to webweave the part that was like #[See me know me want me hold me.#Feeling known even if known in pieces — known broken known bruised — felt as good as the hands of the divine.#I craved adoration and if I couldn’t have it then I would leave claw marks on the walls as proof that I was there at all.]#but alas #but the growing up itch is soooo good pls read if u get a chance bc #I carve my heart out and I hope someone else might look back and see something familiar in the bloodstains. IS SUCH A LINE!!!!#god but buck hes soooo #he can fit so many issues in those long legs #he literally just wants someone to look back and see something familiar in the bloodstains of his carved heart #okay tag time #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #9-1-1 #evan buckley webweave #9-1-1 edit #buddie #<- ish

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planetsandthefates · 7 months

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anyway i'm listening to cardigan in honor of her untimely "death" 😭 🫡

#also bc she is THAT GIRLIE and i still love her so much #cardigan my BELOVED #I KNEW YOU STEPPING ON THE LAST TRAIN MARKED ME LIKE A BLOODSTAIN #I KNEW YOU TRIED TO CHANGE THE ENDING PETER LOSING WENDY #I KNEW YOU'D LINGER LIKE A TATTOO KISS #I KNEW YOU'D HAUNT ALL OF MY WHAT IFS #THE SMELL OF SMOKE WOULD HANG AROUND THIS LONG #CUZ I KNEW EVERYTHING WHEN I WAS YOUNG #I KNEW YOU'D MISS ME ONCE THE THRILL EXPIRED #CARDIGAN BRIDGE YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO ME #SARAH TALKS

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daenerys-targaryen · 1 year

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YOU DREW STARS AROUND MY SCARS BUT NOW I’M BLEEEEEEDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#MARKED ME LIKE A BLOODSTAIN!!!!#TRIED TO CHANGE THE ENDING PETER LOSING WENDY!!!!!!#LEAVING LIKE A FATHER RUNNING LIKE WATER!!!#JUMPING OFF THE NEAREST CLIFF!!!#leah rambles

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wolves-in-the-world · 2 years

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possibility: tara owing sophie A Favour isn't because professional favours are an accepted thing for more than just hitters, but because tara is a grifter-with-a-side-of-hitter in much the same way that eliot's a hitter-with-a-side-of-grifter.

that makes it very fun to me that tara had eliot figured out well enough to go "do the thing with your eyes that scares people." (the grifter thing. oh, you know exactly what I mean.)

more than that - eliot looks like a hitter and wants people to assume that's all he can do; tara looks like a grifter and takes even eliot by surprise when she fights. her "please don't hurt me, good, okay, now I'm going to hurt you" play with the triad goon is the exact reverse of eliot's "look punchy, don't let them see you can do more than that" shtick, but for the exact same "underestimate me so I can prove you wrong" purpose.

and that is so neat.

#tara cole #tara leverage #eliot spencer #tara #eliot #I was thinking about hitter culture and the honour of favours and confidentiality and trust etc and just had a tiny oh shit moment #tara's favour could have no significance here but I'm expanding on it because it's fun #tara handshake emoji eliot: IMPROVISED WEAPONS #she fights a guy with an iron and knocks him out with her head and tells eliot ''admit it. you kinda like me now.''#and yeah of course he would!! she just did HIS thing and did it well!#like her ROLE is grifter but she uses hitter skills competently and keeps them under wraps imo #on the one hand it's a good thing she never became their enemy but also I kinda wish we got to see more of her #without that big professional favour keeping her in a job she wasn't doing for personal reasons #there's depth and complexity there and we only see hints of it.#tara handshake emoji eliot: flirting their way out of trouble #tara handshake emoji eliot: doing the work for work reasons and finding a deeper purpose along the way #tara handshake emoji eliot: the blood they have on their hands.#(that commentary quote about how sophie exchanges christmas cards with her old marks #and tara has walked away from burning buildings with a bloodstained suitcase and never looked back.)#I think she couldn't stay because they were a complete team without her once sophie got back #and because she didn't like that she was a little bit compromised.#deep sigh #messed up punchy people my beloved

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miss-celestia13 · 11 months

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Jake and Manon 😌

Keeps him on his toes.

She prefers Good Girl to princess, though.

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strawhatboy · 1 year

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willow vs cardigan !!!

CARDIGAN (!!!!!) folklore is my favorite album ever and cardigan is probably one of her best songs, the lyrics the mv the production IMMACULATE *chef kiss*

#when she says cause I knew you stepping on the last train marked me like a bloodstain i... 🥺#i knew you tried to change the ending peter losing wendy i... i knew you leaving like a father running like water i (!!!!!!)#and when you are young they assume you know nothing (*dies*)#THIS PART KILLS ME EVERY TIME #she is sucj an amazing songwriter #willow is cute <3 love her ✌️#thank u 💓

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shatteredfears-arch · 2 years

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I found the version of the demo that has when cass follows ingrid into one of the girls bedroom.

ANYWAYS these are caps (slightly edited for clarity, click to expand assuming the update didnt take that away.) of one of the daughter's bedrooms: the one connected to the dungeon, as further proves that ingrid was never expected to survive and the daughters (or at least cassandra) and Alcina planned to have her be hunted. whether it was a final test to see if she was 'worthy', or she just annoyed them at some point, who knows! she was the closest to becoming alcina's fourth daughter (and, as i'm adding ingrid to the blog, I will include an AU where she did become her daughter after this event).

personally, even though the game pretty clearly hints towards this being cassandra's room (cass is the one that hunts you into it if you take too long, and lbr, bela would be heavily against a link from the dirty dungeons to her room being a fake wall lmao);;; the appearance still looks more like bela's to me. so this is what that means here: the girls rooms all have a similar base appearance (I do not believe they share one room), but they get to decorate it themselves. Cassandra mentions in game the fact she likes to hang her hunts heads on the wall, and the devs aid the animal heads around the castle all were cass' kills. logistically, there should be animal heads in her room too, since she's clearly into that (and even mentions making ethan the centerpiece to alcina's party.)

so for this blogs purposes: the room showed in the game is Cassandra's, but in my writing, there are animal heads, and there are not white dresses. cass might have a few somewhere, but not on display. she wouldn't be able to keep them clean that long. the white dresses on display would be a bela thing, because bela is the cleanest of the sisters. the white furniture is alcina's thing, the girls get no control over that. but cassandra's likely have noticeable blood stains from taking prey into her room.

inside the closets, only one would really have clothes. their flies become clothes, otherwise they wouldn't be able to have their clothing when they turn to the swarms by a logical standpoint. chances are, the clothes are just what they want you to see, or just to please mom who is pretty... well, conservative in that one singular regard. otherwise, really, they're probably naked a lot of the time lmao. like, at the basic point, their outfits don't make sense for their hobbies anyways, cassandra might have a few outfits here and there that alcina got her from the 'business trips' that were mentioned by the devs. but mostly, she probably has different types of weapons, because she likes torture and torment. she has a direct access point to the dungeon where they have medieval torture devices. her personal interest is attacking things and people. weapons hidden in her closet, if not pieces of 'snacks' and other items she doesn't want the servants to immediately see, that makes more sense than a ton of clothes she isn't even gonna wear.

now, this is from when i wrote cass as an entirely different character before i decided their personalities were similar enough, i might as well make what was essentially my oc 'become' cass after the endpoint of her prior saga. other things she has hidden in her room would be drawing supplies. here's the thing, in most situations, murder and torture is considered an art form by the perpetrator. and prior 'human' cass had an interest in drawing. when she's trapped in her home, and not playing with daniela who obviously gets bored the easiest and needs the attention, she's drawing in her room. probably mostly fantasies of things she does to others who bother her, but also some fletching's of memories she doesn't exactly remember, and possibly visions of others due to the cadou placement (which i promise i will go into eventually i'm lAZY).

she doesn't share the drawings, not even to mom. they aren't like the paintings held around the house, and internally, considering she's the only sibling not to mention being 'mother's favorite' (while ironically being shown time and time again to be the one called, the one most often needed, and probably actually is the favorite considering she's moms hunting companion) she does feel 'less than' as is pretty clear when she mentions never getting the first bite and always having to give what she finds to her sisters. she probably compares what she does draw to all the paintings around the house constantly, and just doesn't feel like it's good enough or worth it to show mom. she knows her killings and hunting skills make mom proud, she doesn't want any of her mom being proud of her to dwindle bc of anything else she might be interested in.

#☭ memories turn into daydreams ☭ HEADCANON #☭ marked me like a bloodstain ☭ HEADCANON #☭ i know delusion when i see it in the mirror ☭ HEADCANON #i'd assume the red drapes meant bela's room too if not for the fact that most if not all of alcina's drapes are fucking red #hides blood stains whatcha gonna do #look at cassie having a huge bouquet made of flowers dani gave her #further proof she loves her sisters idec #the carpets randomly tossed on the floor also scream cass bc wtf man #those carpets dont gO TOGETHER

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