dropped my p-rank full combo getting hit on the literal last enemy in the stage but im being so brave about it

okay i know this is kind of a specific request but can you do something with professor Spence and uni reader where they get into a spat and argue bc she did something stupid and he gets mad and she’s like “noooo pls don’t be mad i hate when you’re mad at me I’m sorry🥺” bc she literally cannot function knowing she let him down (me with everybody) but he’s like super stubborn and goes all closed up and quiet so that he doesn’t like blow up on her until she finally says like “pls talk to me” and he’s all pissed and like “hell na bitch u crazy!🗣️‼️” but then later he’s like “it’s ok i love u but neva do that shit again ho” then they make up and it’s good again 🎀 ok i explained that so poorly (and comedically if i may) but i hope u get it and pls make it SO DRAMATIC bc I live for drama! like she steals test answers or something or does something that could like get her kicked out of school OR him lose his job 🤔 sigh … idk I’m leaving now. Also i LOOPOOOCE ORRKGOOVI love your fics. Luv em

hey girl (gender neutral) this made me laugh bc genuinely sometimes i write spencer so ooc that is what he sounds like. and i'm not sorry! anyway this is potentially a vyvanse fueled nightmare but i wrote it and i'm posting it MY BLOG MY RULES BITCHESSSS!!!! but genuinely read the content warning LMAO this one got a lil kick to it

warnings/tags: ANGST, HURT/COMFORT, fem!reader, spencer and r get into a for real argument like they're mean to each other, spencer is a lil toxic but its resolved, emotionally neglects reader just for a teeensy second but then he's really nice and sweet again, discussion of his past addic+ion, gets fluffy because i'm not EVIL, gets suggestive at the end bc i am secretly evil.......

a/n: i don't know whats happening. this confuses me just as much as it confuses you. its 3 am in the morning. im gonna post nice happy things soon. Gootbye

“I cannot believe you right now. I don’t even—I don’t even know what to say.” 

“Spencer, you don’t have to say anything. It has nothing to do with you, and I’m not looking for your approval.” 

He looks up from where he’d been rubbing his temples, like you’re a headache, eyebrows raised and lips parted in indignant disbelief. 

“Oh! You’re not looking for my approval? Well thank god for that, because if you were one of my students I would recommend expulsion to the board.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me? I just said I don’t care about your opinion on this, much less your hypothetical opinion from some alternate universe where you have any authority over my education whatsoever.” 

“You distributed an answer key to half of your class! Objectively this is the kind of thing that gets people expelled. I don’t understand how someone so smart could do something so fucking stupid.” 

The words bite more than you were prepared for—but what hurts even more is how much he seems to mean them. In arguments past you’d both said things you didn’t mean, and then would immediately melt into I’m so sorry’s and the fight would resolve itself. Spencer’s clenched jaw and inability to make eye contact with you do not lend themselves to tender apologies. They cannot be attributed to miscommunication. 

You take a step closer to where he’s bracing himself against the countertop, arms crossed defensively in front of your chest. 

“Spencer, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was such a big deal. People cheat in college all the time.” 

Still no reply. His head shakes so minutely you wonder if you’re imagining it. Panic wells in your chest. 

“Please talk to me. I really hate when you ice me out. I’m sorry, okay? Just... please say something.” 

Finally, his eyes slide to you. They lack the fiery anger of moments ago but there’s not much softness there either. His normally warm gaze now feels too abrasive, too cold and sharp on your bare skin. You're exposed, much too soft for that grating look, and it feels like he can see everything that’s wrong with you. 

“Believe me when I tell you this. I am doing us both a favor by not speaking to you right now.” 

And then he’s leaving the kitchen—nothing but a breeze against your cheek and the sound of a door slamming to prove he was ever there. 

The apartment is silent. You stand in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of what to do next. Spencer very, very rarely gets angry at you to the point of neglect, and you know he’s doing his best with what was modelled for him as a child and his tendency to feel things so deeply it’s nearly disabling; but that doesn’t make it hurt much less. It doesn’t make you feel less abandoned or alone.  

You’re sad, and you’re still pissed, and maybe you’re in just a bit of shock as you robotically move back to your nest of blankets on the couch and resume your schoolwork. What else is there to do? Unless Spencer is right—unless you really are about to get expelled after getting the answer key for an upcoming test from a friend, who then gave it to another friend, and so on. But is that really your fault?  

It’s a struggle to stay focused as your mind keeps drifting back to Spencer in the other room, those cruel words and that cold steely look in his eye that isn’t supposed to ever be aimed at you. It’s not a secret that side of him exists, but it doesn’t belong in this apartment. It’s not something he needs to use against you. He’s supposed to be on your side. But instead, he’d said you should be expelled and essentially called you stupid. And now you’re doing homework for a class at a school you may not even be a student of come Monday. 

---------------------------------------------------

The sound of the office door opening forty-five minutes later spikes your blood pressure and simultaneously makes your heart flutter, because no matter how mad at him you might be, Spencer is still Spencer.  

He comes to stand behind the couch quietly, but you don’t acknowledge him. Maybe your typing gets a bit more aggressive, but aside from that you flat out reject his presence. 

“Can we talk?” 

You let him sweat for a minute as you finish your paragraph. 

“I don’t know, Spencer. Can we? Or are you not done with your temper tantrum?” 

“That is... well deserved,” he sighs, rounding the couch and tapping the bottom of your foot, signaling that he wants you to move your legs. You despise how automatically you comply, pulling your knees to your chest to avoid touching him as he sits next to you. There’s a long moment of silence, in which you resume typing. Spencer scoffs, leaning in slightly to peer at your screen. “Are you doing homework right now? I’m a complete asshole to you and you just... do your homework?"

“What the fuck else was I supposed to do?” you almost-yell, slamming your laptop shut and blinking away potential tears. “The only person I wanted to talk to called me stupid and fucking left!” 

The tears realize their potential once you admit the blunt truth. 

Spencer carefully moves your laptop and pulls you into his arms—and you just let him. There’s not much fight left in you. There wasn’t a lot to begin with. 

“I am so sorry, angel. You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have yelled, I shouldn’t have said what I said, I shouldn’t have walked away. I overreacted.” 

“Yeah, you really did,” you cry, allowing him to run his hand over your hair. “Why did you do that? Why were you so fucking mean?” 

His voice shakes slightly as he responds, betraying his own anxieties, and a new, unwelcome sense of trepidation slithers through your veins. 

“I was wondering that, too. Even as I was saying it, I knew—I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to be saying. And then I was in the other room and I wanted to be out here, and I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t. But I think I was just scared. Which—I know, doesn’t really make sense, but... I think about when Ethan dropped out of the academy, and ended up doing heroin in New Orleans for three years, and I think about when I almost left the BAU because I was so convinced I’d never get clean that I didn’t even want to anymore, and—and the idea of you losing your education and your direction like that terrified me, probably unreasonably, and I took it out on you. And I’m sorry.” 

“But I’m not like you or Ethan. You don’t have to worry about that. Even if I... even I do get in some sort of disciplinary trouble. That’s a road you don’t have to worry about me going down, ever.” 

He fixes some unseen wrinkle on your shirt.  

“Yeah, but, remember... I used to not be like me or Ethan either. Do you think twelve-year-old Spencer would have ever even considered that of the infinite realities and universes which exist, he was living in one where someday he’d be shooting up in the bathroom at work?” 

“Mm-mm,” you hum, shaking your head and burying your face in Spencer’s shoulder. The sound is more of a plea for him to be less descriptive than an answer to his rhetorical question. It’s still much easier for him to talk about that part of his life than it is for you to have to actually imagine it. You didn’t know him then, but you’ve seen pictures, and you know Spencer now, and it’s... it’s just too much. Too sad. 

“Okay,” he agrees soothingly, still playing with your hair. “I digress. My point is that literally anything is possible, and while it’s not necessarily likely, I more than anyone know that anxiety even over the most improbable of things is never completely unfounded.”  

You sniffle in response, too emotionally and physically exhausted to contribute much to the conversation by this point. Thankfully, Spencer can talk for two. An idiosyncrasy which you love and comes in handy every once in a while. He can play his own devil’s advocate; in this case, you. 

“But that doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you. Ever. I truly, truly, sincerely apologize for that. I never want to hurt you.” 

You let the apology sink into your skin like a salve, soothing every abrasion those earlier words had left in their violent wake. 

After a few minutes, you find the energy to ask a question that might best remain unanswered. 

“Are you still mad at me?” 

He’s quiet for a beat, seemingly contemplative as his fingers trace abstract patterns in a language all his own on your arm. 

“I’m not thrilled. But you were right earlier. It’s not my place to be mad at you for something like that.” 

“Mm... it’s a little bit your place. You’re an actual professor.” 

He chuckles. 

“At an entirely different university.” 

“Thank god,” you laugh. “You and me at the same school would be such an HR clusterfuck.”

While it’s almost a serious matter, the smile in his voice is evident. 

“Yeah... I, uh... try not to think about it.” 

“Okay, but seriously. In your professional opinion. Am I fucked? Like, do I need to prepare an appeal and character witnesses or whatever?” 

Spencer sighs. 

“It was incredibly reckless and irresponsible. You should be ready for disciplinary pushback from the schoolboard if you get caught. That being said... because over sixty of you got a hold of the answer key, I doubt anyone is getting expelled, and even if they did, it would likely only be the TA and the student he gave the key to. It’s my tentative, professional opinion that you’ll probably be fine.” 

You relax slightly, allowing a tension you didn’t realize was there to shed like an old skin. 

“I’m not gonna cheat again,” you promise on an exhale. It’s simply too much risk for too little reward.

Spencer’s response is quiet, and comes much faster than you’d expected. 

“Oh, I know you aren’t. Because if you do, you’re going to have to worry about disciplinary action from me. And I’m not nearly as nice as the dean of your school, darling girl.” 

But something about the way he says it—a thinly veiled threat/promise contrasted by a sweet kiss to your forehead—doesn’t exactly make academic honesty look all that exciting.

…vampire!jason thoughts… you must provide them im desperate…. -🐞

(ik you probably expected #real smut, honestly i did too but this ended up turning into a whole bunch of lore/headcanons/whatever tf. i'm so sorry bae cw: talks of consuming blood)

you ask, you shall receive. i've been thinking about jason and dick as vampires in relation to each other, so this'll be a post about both of them just for the sake of comparisons. also, in my mind, this au takes place during the 19th century because i've conflated vampirism with the victorian era, and it's also no capes in regards to vigilantism bc vampires do love a good cape.

in this victorian era, vampire au dick would be either a nobleman or straight up royalty. he's got status, money, and a pretty face, and he uses them all to his advantage when it comes to feeding. you know in the originals or itwtv when they host an event that's actually a cover for them finding their next meal? yeah, he does that. he flirts with all of the ladies, plays into his charms, and sweeps women off their feet. and at the end of the night (sometimes even mid-ball), he coaxes them upstairs and ravishes them, sometimes in more ways than one.

i think for dick feeding is something he can have fun with, knowing that he holds such a high ranking in society that when bodies of people he's been seen with show up around town, people turn a blind eye. and even when someone does try to investigate, the wayne family checking account talks enough to shut down anything beyond a questioning.

in many pieces of media surrounding vampires, there are people who know about vampires and choose to feed them their blood. there's a bunch of lore that explores the idea that a vampire bite is almost orgasmic and kind of addictive, which is why some people are more than willing to put themselves in harm's way by either being employed by vampires or by straight up just throwing themselves into a vampires line of sight with open wounds.

with that being said, i think dick grayson likes the chase. i think that even if his father (bruce, who is also a vampire in this au because vampire families are just superior) has people on his payroll to provide blood for them, he's going to go out on his own to flirt a bit, get laid, and then have his fill.

which brings me to my next point; while feeding, like sex, is an intimate act, it's far from necessary for dick to need an emotional connection with a person he feeds off of or even a physical one. sex and feeding are related but not totally synonymous, and if he needs to just feed or just get his rocks off, he can. is it preferred? maybe not. i believe he does like the mess that comes with doing both at the same time.

ok so for jason, ugh so obsessed with him as a vampire because i think it's so in line with his canon story. in a lot of vampire lore, to become a vampire, you have to consume the blood of a vampire and either die or be on the brink of death, which is just so. it's so jason dying and being revived by the lazarus pit coded. and even the way he inevitable that he will spill blood post-revival in both this vampire au and his canon storyline…it's almost prophetic.

anyway, jason's approach to vampirism is quite different. i think he struggles with it no matter how long he's been one. he can't fully grasp that he's immortal; he looks in the mirror and sees that he hasn't aged a day and he feels sick. being a vampire for him feels like a curse and he only continues living because he's scared to die (again).

he doesn't stay anywhere too long, typically hopping from town to town in the middle of the night when less people are around. he believes himself to be out of place amongst normal people and he's paranoid that people can smell the iron on his breath when he talks to them so he makes it a point to have minimal interaction with people.

it's crippling, he drives himself mad with the solitude, but i feel like another reason why he continues to stay alive is to spite his creator, whoever that may be. he's most definitely got an agenda, in true jason fashion. i just don't know what it is yet.

he feeds only when he needs to but tries not to let the hunger get too intense because i do feel like when he loses control, he's the stefan salvitore type. a ripper. but he's pretty good about it and is almost polite when he's feeding? like he finds a victim and says i'm sorry before just absolutely tearing into their jugular.

i just really think he grapples with his own mortality, or lack thereof, and how it exists at the expense of others. so he is genuinely ashamed of who he is and what he's become. so, while blood drinking is something he needs to survive, it holds a lot of weight for him, which is why i think drinking blood and sex are pretty equal for him when it comes to intimacy level.

that brings me to my MAIN point (which isn't really a main point because it's being reduced to a small paragraph at the end of this post), all of that was background for this, eek. the act of drinking blood during sex is so. big. for him, it's eye-opening, life-changing. the amount of trust required on both ends for this to happen…at that point, it's basically end game for you two. and it's so funny because that's just a normal tuesday for dick.

anyway, i do have more thoughts and more lore, but this got really long, so i'll cut it off here

hello beloved mutuals u’ll never guess what character this post is about. to celebrate the episode betty’s ten year anniversary of existence here is a annotation of sorts (?) of my betty playlist (<- talking to empty audience) warning this makes increasingly less sense

starting off strong with betty (a little bit of madness) by half shy !!!!! we dont appreciate this song enough THERE IS A SONG ABT HER !!!!!! BY SOMEONE WHO WROTE MUSIC FOR THE SHOW :3 dont even have to say anything abt this one

THE MOON WILL SING BY THE CRANE WIVES. ITS THE. THE I COULD HAVE BEEN ANYONE ELSE. I SPENT SO MUCH TIME DEDICATED TO SIMON IM NOT SURE THERES EVEN ANY ME LEFT ANYMORE. shaking like a rabid dog do we get the vision

the deal by mitski !! this one is just sooo betty fusing with golb ok trust me

& by tally hall!! this one is solely for the outro tbh 😭 BIG BAD BETTY OF THE POCALYPSE, SHE OPENS HER LIPS AND IT GOES LIKE THIS ‼️🔥🔥

I BET ON LOSING DOGS BY MITSKI. GODDD THIS IS THE ONE THAT MADE ME WANNA MAKE THIS POST. III BET ON LOSING DOGSS, I KNOW THEYRE LOSING AND I PAY FOR MY PLACE BY THE RING. simon/ice king ok. are we seeing the vision. and dont even get me STARTEDDD on i always want u when im finally fine… ITS THE WAY SIMON WAS INSANE AND WHEN HE WAS FINALLY HIMSELF AGAIN SHE WAS GONE. EATING GLASS. and FINALLY the SOMEONE TO WATCH ME DIE. GODDDD.

curses by the crane wives! I JUST THINK IT FITS OK :3 the devils after both of ussss OUGHGUH

no eyed girl by lemon demon, gonna be so real idk how to explain this one. we’re just vibing

i’m your man by mitski. yes theres a lot of mitski. this is on my petrigrof playlist as well and i think it could be from either pov tbh. LIKE the first verse is betty i think and the second is simon’s suicidal ass in fionna and cake

running up that hill (a deal with god) by kate bush :3 this ones just OBVIOUSSS id make a deal with god… GET HIM TO SWAP OUR PLACES…..

my girlfriend is a witch by october country ! just for sillies. magic betty ily forever and ever

love, me normally by will wood! dont know how to explain this one either tbh bc will wood lyrics scramble my brain but in a pleasant way. idk i just think shes full of autism and also magic insanity

sick of losing soulmates by dodie! OUGHGHG. another more petrigrof centered one but mannn . I CAN FINALLY SEE UR AS FUCKED UP AS ME SO HOW DO WE WIN. I WONT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. lighting myself on fire

death thrice dawn by the scary jokes! ngl i dont remember adding this one but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tossing this verse at u

wife by mitski!!!! is this a stretch. idc idc. ur home to mee if i am not urs what am iiii

goodbye, my danish sweetheart by mitski !! guhh magic betty and “i’m sure that uve seen what its done to my heart” and “im not the girl i ought to be” and “you can tell them what u saw in me and not the way i am” ☹️ ANDDD could we just be what we’re meant to be, im just about to beg u pleaseew ☹️💔

i guess by mitski GODDDD so proud of her for moving on and idk learning to pass the bechdel test i GUESS but im GOINJ TO EAT FIBERGLASS

ANDDD THATS THE END !!! FOR NOW !!! there will be more songs on this playlist later :3 if u read this ily and i will probably do this w/ my petrigrof playlist at some point :3

handing you the microphone. tell me more about hoffheight.

oh Man. you dont even know what u have done........

ok so um . i think that there are a myriad of interesting ways for them to Meet each other but i think their relationship for the most part stays consistent. i've done a lot of thinking and Rp Writing for this because i am . Insane LOL

at first i just thought they'd have interesting interactions but the more i thought about it the more i realized that they are both a) the Most prey animal of the jigsquad (i count adam by proxy because. he has to be in order for my nefarious deeds to work. but that's a whole other topic i can't get into here lol) and b) the same type of defensive and angry person who is really just terrified at the world around them.

adam's strongest (onscreen) bond is lawrence (altho i am tempted 2 say he is the deepest bond he has. genuinely. lol cant get into that here either tho) and mark's is angelina. both of them are forcefully ripped away from them, and both of them deal w it by turning to Anger. (no one lets adam be fucking mad enough. well enough i say. im here to fix the softboy fandomification of this guy.) i think they could find a good common ground after getting to know each other.

at first i think adam really enjoys trying to poke at hoffman to get reactions, and hoffman is so annoyed but also intrigued because he does Not get this guy. so they treat each other like culture samples in petri dishes for a while. at first its just like smoke breaks or adam (who is actually p adept at engineering after learning some of it) helping mark fix things on his prototypes. they just chat idly or enjoy the silence, and both of them are constantly internally like This Is So Weird But I Actually Kind Of Like Being Around You

i like to think their relationship isn't really romantic but it's not platonic either. if they were NORMAL people it would be a qpr but they're fucking crazy people so it's just a weird situationship. they love and care for each other a LOT a lot a lot. i like to think adam is hoffman's little pet cat and he's always giving him pepper spray and new knives and shit for self defense bc he's incredibly protective of him. i don't think he'd like the idea of lawrence coming around and interacting w adam again because he had to see adam struggle and help him recover from the emotional damage lawrence did to him.

i also think that while adam does round hoffman's sharp edges out just a little, it's much more interesting to explore how mark's influence makes adam More violent (bc hes already predisposed to violence and i think mark could absolutely capitalize on that)

i could say so much more about them adkjfngjkfn but ummmm. to tie this post off have this hoffheight hoffman doodle i did for a warmup last night

edit: oh and i should really mention that they are constantly up and down w each other, those 2 men have such short tempers that they would absolutely fight and argue and yell at each other. theyre explicitly toxic for each other as all saw ships should be. this is necessary.

ok im curious do you have any jason todd headcannons

These are (all) mostly angst, so be forewarned

THE AUTOPSY SCAR STAYS EVEN IF IT"S ILLOGICAL

SO DO THE GREEN EYES and WHITE STREAK

Idc where the autopsy scar came from, but I like the idea that the LOA did experiments post resurrection bc Ra's is so obsessed with immortality.

I don't hate the 'pit madness' trope, so long as it feeds on already existing emotions and it's temporary after getting out of the pit. Kind of like it's this voice at the back of his mind that is amplified and urges him to do things he would typically hesitate to do. But it's still well within his power to resist or give in.

Jason would hide non-perishables all around the manor for the first two years living there and genuinely believed he was one misstep from being kicked out the whole time

Kinda related to ^ (TW: Food issues) he has really bad issues with food insecurity. He has a habit of switching between scarfing food/binge eating, and then storing things for too long because he's afraid of running out and having empty shelves ever

Sometimes he forgets how old he is and his knee-jerk reaction is to answer "15" when someone asks

He ran a bicycle gang with other kids on the streets when he was homeless. Mostly to steal food and help each other out. But Winter typically picked them all off one by one, some would get taken into the foster system, kidnapped etc... so it didn't last.

He can't stand needles

He hated galas as a kid bc of the obvious classism, and the expectation for him to mask his 'roots', mannerisms, accents etc

of course, that didn't stop people from commenting and comparing him to the first Wayne Ward.

He could have his pockets lined with gold and still always chooses the cheapest option when he's out shopping for food/necessities. He never lets anyone else pay for him, and if for some reason someone does, he picks the cheapest thing he can find

He needs his bedroom door locked at all times

Can't sleep without a night-light, but he'd take that info to his grave

Learning to shave and drive were incredibly emotional experiences for him, because he was on his own and just really wanted Bruce to help him

He was the first to call Bruce 'Dad' normally as Robin, (aside from Damian, but he calls him 'Father' which is just different to me) and Jason had the most 'dad & son' relationship with Bruce out of all the robins. This is part of the reason he can't reconcile the Bruce he knows now, with the one he left.

He is often the only one to call Bruce 'dad' to this day, and it's more subconscious than anything. It slips when he's really emotional or drugged up and he hates himself for it

He's an angry crier (most emotions make his eyes burn)

He used to really want to get married and have kids, and some part of him still does, but he's terrified of damaging his kids bc of all his own issues and he can't imagine ever meeting someone who would put up with him

He can't stand to be in the manor for too long but he will hangout with his brothers and the girls outside of it. Typically these hangouts only work if it's kept light/surface level

He loves all of them and would kill and die for them, but this is not common or expressed knowledge. It's in the subtext.

He wants to be close to all of them, and Bruce- but there's just too much trauma and bad-blood to ever really fix it all. He knows it will never be fixed, and he's not willing to compromise his beliefs for it.

He wants to go to college

and is working on getting his GED

and lastly: I lowkey vibe with him and Stephanie as a ship if it was given the care and attention it deserved

Canon ship wise though, I HC Rose is the only girl he's ever genuinely seen a future with and she feels the same about him which is why they're terribly avoidant of each other

sorry this was legit all angst <3

some friendly reminders :3

just some housekeeping things here!!! so normally i really do not gaf about most things (i am the chill fanfiction writer ok) but just some things to keep in mind

if u stumble across my blog and decide to do a bit of a deep dive or u found one fic & want to check out some more, make sure to check out the rules first !! i have the for a reason & im not asking too much!!!

also check out the faq :) if u have a question it might’ve already been answered

if u would like to be on the taglist, fill out the form in my pinned post, it is the only way to be added

i won’t be mad at u if you like miss one of my posts or can’t find a link or anything like that, but at least give an earnest look if you’re trying to find the taglist or have a question like “what apps do u use for ur smaus” bc i promise u the info is there!!!!

THANKS

1-25 choose violence ask game ❤️

ALL OF THEM?????? you’re so real for this ty snfnsnbfns. doing LotR bc of course I am

1. the character everyone gets wrong

PIPPIN I HATE TO SAY IT BUT PIPPIN. all those incorrect quote polls that have been posted where pippin keeps fucking winning YALL REALIZE HES AN ACTUAL CHARACTER RIGHT?? with like depth?? and bonds?? and a personality. yall realize that right?????? right??? ik we all love 2 joke but he would not say half of those things

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

ok I personally enjoy both for Boromir BUT if he IS topping. he is a service top. I will die on this hill

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I block ppl for these takes so no screenshots but everyone who thinks Boromir is a villain. if you think Boromir is a villain I will key your car.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

there is one singular straw and it is bad Boromir takes in the Boromir tag

5. worst discord server and why

I don’t join fandom discord servers bc I love myself too much for that 💗

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

ummm idk? most of my lotr mutuals have different ships from me and it’s all chill. but tbf I’m very selective abt who I interact with now lmao.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

no one yet thank fuck.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Aragorn/Arwen isn’t actually romantic sorry I think it’s fucked up actually. the vibes are off there for SURE

9. worst part of canon

FARAMIR’S “yeah I’m gonna take you from your home and tame you. haha wdym. you don’t need a blade during times of peace.” SHTICK WITH ÉOWYN IN THE BOOKS. UNPACK YOUR BIASES YOU LITTLE FREAK!!!!!!!!

10. worst part of fanon

HM. I will stick with “people who horrifically misinterpret Boromir’s character”

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

at the moment I only have rings of power blocked but I’ve had that blocked since it came out bc if I look at the armor in that show I will commit crimes.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MOVIE!FARAMIR MY SPECIALEST LITTLE GUY OOOOOOOOOO MOVIE!FARAMIR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU he’s so handsome and special and I love him and you WILL all look at him and clap and cheer. it makes me insane that his temptation by the ring mirror’s Boromir’s and he’s actually fucking normal abt the Rohirrim AND I just love him very much :)

13. worst blorboficiation

ummm idk… maybe Frodo

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

HMMM exposing myself but I basically only read Aragorn/Boromir fics lmao + since we’re Choosing Violence the most annoying thing is Boromir just being A Brute. like damn I love the surface level reading of the text maybe try engaging with it above a 1st grade analysis next time 💗

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmmmm idk cuz again I don’t interact w a lot of fanartists so there’s nothing like. annoying. all th ✨motifs✨ I do see r very fun + I like them :)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ummm for Serious, portraying Pippin as Stupid. for Silly, uhhhh Trans Faramir is so real to me I completely forgot cis people both 1) exist in the real world and 2) probably interpret Fara as cis too. i don’t get it :(

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

trans Faramir 🩵💗🤍

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

HM idk. trans Faramir again. also bc I love it, utilizing Old Norse culture for the Rohirrim teehee

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

OK IM MAD THAT FINNISH BOROMIR IS JUST ME. THATS ME. THATS AN OUTFIT I WEAR REGULARLY MINUS THE LONG HAIR. I DRESS LIKE THAT TO BUY GROCERIES. i love him for that tho. I’m also mad that MtG Boromir’s stupid pointy muttonchops have grown on me. freak behavior, keeping his facial hair trimmed in those stupid little points

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

I’m fighting for my life reading the histories rn 😑 I find them very dry for the most part

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

idk? I think there is an appropriate level of hype. but idk if Rings of Power had a lot of hype. if it did, then Rings of Power is my answer

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

idk if it’s IGNORED necessarily but the fact that Boromir carries a Rohirric shield in the films does actually genuinely make me insane 💞 I love that sm

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

UNWILLINGLY?????? idk?? ummmm I think it’s all fine for the most part I’m just A Fag so I don’t write het ships. it’s like a moral thing. Éowyn/Faramir gets a pass conceptually bc they’re T4T to me tho

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

idkkkkkkk I don’t engage w discourse bc I want this fandom to remain pleasanttttt

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

again idk.. I block on sight if I see a Bad Take + then I erase it from my memory so I can continue to live in a beautiful blissful world where I. forgor abt cis people ☺️

and of course since hes acting like hes normal and nice and like nothing shitty happened between us- you know i guess its not so black and white where this person is bad or this person is entirely good but i guess to me he is mostly bad. even though its confusing to think about and look back upon but im having some thoughts rn and idk its confusing. To me he is not a good person bc how he was to me. he can be the nicest person to other people but to me he was abusive. and i feel bad a lot where idk if its me or if i made him that way toward me or its my bpds fault and whatnot but regardless you should not be fighting your partner and his decisions and actions to be deliberately physically aggressive w/ me are on him. i think thats how i feel about it atm or how im trying 2 make sense of it. like yeah im sure hes a great guy to other people to his family whatever but to me he was not and thats ok if other people dont know that or understand its just something i have 2 deal with and move on and i think i am moving on more bc i havent been nearly as angry anymore the past week compared to a month ago, compared to 2 weeks ago etc. but i get scared i'm absolving him or something. idk if it matters. i guess u just go through something shit and traumatic and have 2 move on and even though there are still moments where im angry or have a vindictive part of me that wishes people knew how shit he was idk thats not how it works and closure isnt real and abuse is complicated. i guess. but anyway i was going 2 say lol that shortly after the breakup he was saying he saw my tumblr blog still even tho i changed my url and i was really paranoid hed get angry w/ me for talking about the breakup and the stuff that was coming out for me mentally like the abuse i talked about it more on here after i was out and processing and things were coming back up that id locked away. and he was like yeah i can still see ur blog but idc what u post haha - acting like im being silly or paranoid and being nonchalant about it and even insinuating that my followers have a warped view of what happened or something based on what im saying but he doesnt care idk. some bs like that. anyway and it just made me mad at the time bc i remember back in May of last year i had posted vaguely about getting into a "physical altercation" and we were both home and he confronted m in person and was pretty pissed and talking about some of his mutuals from discord follow me on tumblr and snatched my phone out of my hand and deleted the post lol. so it made me mad how he decides to act all nonchalant and like oh ofc idc what u post and idk how to describe it. but yeah that makes me mad lol. and i was slowly dying in that relationship and i so badly tried to stick it out the end of november even though when i look back on my mental and emotional state i see so clearly i was getting boiled alive just dying and idk. the relationship was bad for many reasons many reasons im sure i contributed to and i have to admit i contributed to but the abuse and trauma i went through it was messed up and i still dont have the answers for how someone who supposedly loved me could treat me in so many horrible ways but i know thats not how love is supposed 2 be or a relationship. yipee

Fic ask

4, 13, 20!

HELLO MY FAVORITE PROFESSOR ELM STAN THANK U FOR THE MEMES!!! hey actually these are all ones i havent thought about so made me put on my THINKIN CAP. and hey actually actually this got really long really fast so im PUTTING IT UNDER A READ MORE!!!

4. a story idea you haven't written yet

Ok so like. I've got these two ideas kicking around in my head from time to time that I'm like. Still kind of workshopping. One is a fanfic and one is an original fic. But basically I've had in my head since forever (10 years of Big Thinking) about a big Digimon sort of odyssey that originally started as a Pokemon x Digimon crossover where I took the Rocket executives and shoved them into the digital world. I have a whole world built for it already and a central sort of issue/theme revolving around a power struggle between the Demon Lords and the Royal Knights. The Royal Knights control HUB City, which is the major settlement in the continent, the Demon Lords control the Dark Lands, and kind of like usual they all want to wipe each other out. There's eventually a viral sort of glitch that starts to deteriorate the digital world and jumps to the real world.

Part of my problem is I've wanted to make it a comic or at the very least an illustrated fic and part of the problem is I'm trying to decide if I want to keep it as a crossover or just slap some new names onto the execs bc i gotta be real, the pokemon world and other pokemon characters. do not feature. at all.

its really just an excuse for me to give petrel a digimon.

anyways they all have full evolution lines planned, i've got a few major story beats, plot points, and the major final twist decided on. i also have 5 amvs that i play in my head on a loop when i drive to and from work.

also in this fic some digimon are gay (stingmon and flamedramon makeout sessions when) and trans (crusadermon, trans queen) ive decided

i think ive posted old art before extending the au to some characters and for my perfworld mutuals if youve seen my sycamore + dukemon art before that specific dukemon is also from this au. ive also got a fic i did publish where i workshopped a little bit of HUB city & a few side characters

i am now realizing i meant to also talk about the original fic i have planned and that one is a short story about a serial killer who murders hitchhikers picking up a hitchhiking serial killer and that one is less planned out but i know they sloppy kiss in the end

13. a fandom you're thinking about writing for

so like besides pokemon and tiger & bunny & digimon there's none i actively have fic ideas for, but some fandoms I think I'd like to revisit are Sonic and Zelda. Actually I had a Zelda fic I abandoned back on FFNet that I'd like to take another crack at one day where the premise was it was a modern setting based on the OOT/TP Hyrule (mostly OOT) where magic and fairies and such are regarded as superstition sort of the same way they are now, and the wondrous races (Goron, Zora, Kokiri/Korok, etc. even the Sheika to some extent) had all died out, leaving pretty much just the human races like Hylian, Terminian, Gerudo, etc. (In this case Termina is legitimately a neighboring kingdom/country and not limbo/purgatory ok??) And the kicker was Link was like. a hardcore atheist. but i think i remember people getting mad at me bc i made his legal name "Mahas" which I MUST IMPLORE YOU. THIS IS CANONICALLY HIS NAME AS OF SKYWARD SWORD. BELIEVE IT OR NOT THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT TO BUILD A PSEUDO LANGUAGE IN SKYWARD SWORD. WE KNOW HIS NAME IS MAHAS BECAUSE IN THE BEGINNING WHEN FI IS JUST CALLING HIM LINK AND NOT MASTER LINK HER VOICE LINES ARE EVER ONLY MAHAS. ONCE SHE BEGINS CALLING HIM MASTER LINK ANY TIME IT APPEARS ON SCREEN SHE SAYS "MAARI MAHAS." SO IM RIGHT OK FUCK OFF IM RIGHT. DIE MAD FFNET. DIE. MAD.

ahem.

im normal now.

anyways yeah i'd like to write for elder scrolls again too i think but like. something more original than the supernatural/TESIV Oblivion retelling crossover i tried once.

You can find that one on my ao3 but im not linking it.

20. in what year did you publish your first fic?

In the year of our lord 2005 (pensive emoji)(raised fist emoji) I published a... fic of some kind to FFNet.

You won't find it anymore, I deleted it a long time ago! I'm not sure if it was 'Rocket Road Trip' or 'The Rebellion,' but it was one of those. I used to write a ton of OC team rocket fics, and this was back in the day when the Rocket Executives had no name so you either thought there was 1 guy exec and 1 girl exec or you thought each exec encounter in GSC was a different person, and that was me. So I gave them all names and threw them into a truck together and i think in the very first chapter they were leaving the Team Rocket HQ and they ran over and left to die the OC who would later go on to be repurposed into Proton except his name was Steve then and he was a special classification of trainer class that I called a "Random Rocket," and the thing about Random Rockets was they all had very generic names (Steve, Bob, Juan, I think there was a Nancy once but she never got to show up in a fic or rp?) but the OTHER thing about Random Rockets was no one knew what they looked like because canonically their faces were all censored with a big ass mosaic effect (this was written, not draw.)

anyways farla cussed me out on 3 or 4 different fics back when she used to cuss out literal children so I deleted all my fics from 2005 - 2008 and then I deleted more of them when I went to college.

don't be like farla.

edit: self-plugging my old FFNet account for the lulz. yes it is i, the original author of Slowpoke Tails and Koffing Fumes.

ok i need someone elses (especially- but not exclusively- other afab autistics, cis or trans) thoughts on this shit cause im losing my goddamn mind i just have so many feelings about gender and its fucking me up

ok so.

ive always sorta felt disconnected with my gender and i dont think me being autistic helps with it either. what with trying to pinpoint feelings and all that being hard. and it has i guess planted a lot of doubt surrounding my thoughts and feelings about my own gender in my mind. i question if everything im feeling is just bc im autistic. which is why im making this post!! i just need some outside perspectives and thoughts and i guess i want to know that im probably not alone in my struggles with this.

idk how i wanna structure this post but ill just write down the things that come to mind.

like before i hit puberty i was not into the idea of it at all. and before i had considered the fact that i might be trans, i thought it was just because i didnt like the thought of change. and i think thats normal, being hesitant about puberty.

BUT uhm. now im not religious. but i vividly remember praying to god that i would at least be as late a bloomer as possible. if not, never ever going through afab puberty. and i always felt more inclined towards amab puberty, and i thought it was a MUCH better deal than whatever afab puberty was going to do with me.

and i feel really silly writing this cause that does not sound like something a normal cis girl would do or think... and i feel quite confident in me being not cis. but i guess this is just a post to seek some validation in my suspicion and feelings. but i also want to know if it is an experience others share.

my gender thoughts as i call them have been particularly prevelant since 2019, thats when i think i first started contemplating whether i might just actually be trans. at that time i believe it was more towards the non binary, but nowadays its ftm

and i just idk. im kinda lost and lonely here, i havent talked about with any family members which are the people i spend most of my time with currently. i wanted to get the perspective of people who are also autistic and might relate to the gender feelings and yeah

and ok no sorry, jumping back, cause its always at its worst before and during shark week (like right now :)) and that has also thrown me off quite badly

cause what if its just pms, or just some kinda hormone imbalance or some shit like that. am i crazy cause sometimes i feel like im driving myself mad with this stuff. is it common to have really intense thoughts about gender anytime your period is about to kick in.

also growing up with a younger brother (who also has a whole ass army of guy friends) when you have these thoughts is fucked up ngl who allowed this. youre telling me he gets to just get that puberty for free. fucking hell wtf

sorry i lost it pls just idk tell me your thoughts wherever, replies, i think im turning off reblogs for this but, my inbox or dms anything ok thanks so much, means the world

Dndads season 2 expectations :3

Frankly I do not really know how tumblr works; just posting this to keep track of it! I just finished season 1 of dungeons and daddies a bit ago and am starting the next one soon! Here are my current thoughts/expectations:

ummummmm honestly I have no clue what's going to happen in S2- I know the premise is the doodler has returned, but besides them trying to defeat it probably, no idea. I'm excited to hopefullyy see some of my favorite s1 characters again (I am pretty much exclusively talking about Erin and Scam)! If willy shows up again im going to leave. forever. he doesn't get to be an antag for two seasons.

AND ALSO IM GONNA BE. VERY UPSET IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THE STAMPLERS. I know scary isn't a stampler technically but I'll still refer to them all as that. but I care them so hard im gonna be so mad. all in all I just want the stamplers to be ok. and scam and erin. Also speaking of erin I hope vince dies she deserves someone with more dimensions (me)

The kids as dads!:

Honestly, I love all the kids- I cannot see them being that bad of parents (but apparently I'll find out soon!)

Adulthood clearly fucks them up SOMEHOW bc idk how they could be so awful but Sparrow (My favorite kid as of now :3) would probably just be. kinda like henry but I still think different? Like Henry is probably more protective than I imagine sparrow would be; aloof (p.s. I had a different idea of what aloof meant but I can't think of a different word so. oh well just use your imagination LMFAO) though he still is very loving! And does his best to sprinkle in life lessons even if they're not. that great. Like I'd think the worst he could fuck up his kid is not really teach him any particularly valuable life skills

Terry Jr! I love him, I'm very glad he and Ron are doing well as of now. I think he's a great kid that would make a great step-dad, especially considering the fact he knows what it's like to 1: lose his dad and 2: have an emotionally distant step-father. You'd THINK he wouldn't want a kid to also go through that but who knows I guess.

I love Grant too, and I know I've said this for all of them but honestly I have no clue what tf they do to him to possibly get him to be that bad of a dad. He was definitely traumatized by murdering that thing so I get him maybe like being emotionally distant. and like overbearing at the same time. but I wouldn't really call that being a poor parent,,,

Nicky uhhh. He confuses me I don't really know what he's like anymore since he was Glenn's kid. then Jodie's. now kinda both so honestly I've no real idea of what he's gonna be like but I still can't see him being that bad.

AND THAT REMINDS ME if hermie is presumably a grandkid of one of the preexisting s1 characters I can not figure out WHO tf might be the one that fucked him up that bad. I don't really know anything about him but it's soo obvious that he is Not gonna have a Good Time. I don't even know if he's a normal guy (normal hehe) or from the forgotten realms or>?????

Characters I'll probably get attached to

Honestly, as far as I can tell abt hermie (which I'm not really supposed to know about yet but whatever) he does seem like a character I will get attached to. And hopefully not empathize with cause that won't help. He just looks like he's designed to hold SO much trauma.

*slaps roof of hermie*

This baby can hold so much trauma in it.

I don't really have any clue abt him but. I can tell it probably won't go well for him! Also he kinda? ?? looks like an antag but also doesn't? Idk maybe an antag because of a forced hand, or more along the lines of an anti-hero? I've no idea.

Scary! She seems likeable in an. unlikeable edgy way. She's played by Beth so it can't be that hard to like her (Which I recently met someone who DOESN'T like beth!? He just hates to see a funny woman...), plus I'm a sucker for edgy emo characters. She's not actually related to ron but yknow terry's her step-dad and that's close enough.

Honestly I don't particularly take to very chipper and upbeat characters (which I'm just assuming Normal is, I could be wrong), so no clue if I'll like him. I at least probably won't dislike him as long as he's not annoying abt it.

And I have no clue what Taylor's gonna be like so really I can't say anything. He's kinda sorta related to Glenn? kinda????? and I didn't like Glenn very much at first, he did grow on me a little but idk- we'll see

I totally forgot to put lincoln in here. idk ANYTHING about him so uhh we'll see!

ermm I think I had something else to say but I forgot- I'm going to start dedicating the next 10 days while I'm by myself to probably binging all of s2. Uhhhh wish me luck!

Ok so I finally read who’s afraid of Alexander J Newell bc… not a single person said what they were actually accused of. Not only is the article unreliable but even if it’s 100% true almost none of it is a big deal? Like no one has broken it down yet so I’ll do a small thing saying why it’s not legit and then explain the “issues” that the article actually talks about

Reasons it’s not accountable

1) the “journalist” does not have a degree of any kind

2) this is posted on a site that allows anyone without any verification or credentials to post. It is also seemingly the only place they’ve posted any news articles

3) they work with the competing company and repeatedly compare them

4) go between pounds and dollars throughout the article to skew numbers in their favor

5) they use the word allegedly every other sentence. You should k ow if it’s actual or alleged before starting a a smear campaign

6) (the biggest one imo) not a SINGLE rq source is named except by pseudonym. I don’t believe that dozens of people were willing to call out Harvey Winsting and Trump but that not a single person can talk about their job sucking in normal ways

7) state easily checkable misinformation like them paying minimum wage when they actually pay above that and the living wage (sad those aren’t the same thing but that’s neither here nor there)

8) the writer is 20 which is apparent if you read this and have ever had a job. At that age my brother quit a job bc his raise was less than a dollar amount within the first year, like all jobs. That was Taco Bell. Im not saying the journalist is on that level but think how much you knew about jobs at the time. I was convinced if I didn’t have the drink cart at the retail store done on time I would be fired instantly on the spot instead of nothing happening. I knew nothing. It’s about experience.

Now RQs alleged (their words not mine) crimes:

1) they pay minimum wage. Considering this started out as an unpaid venture between friends in a disco corridor of their house wouldn’t be bad. But also easily proven untrue

2) people joining were under the impression they wouldn’t have to follow the rules on their contract and that the rules were bendable and then they weren’t. It’s a contract guys.

The big issue with the contract is they want to make money back and ad revenue and such doesn’t make a lot. If they take 50% of everything (what they’re asking) and lent you $1000 it would take 62,500 downloads (most shows don’t break 20,000) for them to get their money back that they gave you if my math according to their own numbers is right. A real evil thing for them to do to pay you and your workers paychecks as well as a budget to make the thing you want and then dare to want to break even or heaven forbid profit.

3) you can’t leave a contract early. Again. It’s a contract. That’s how that works in an adult job. Also they’re mad they can later on use the product to advertise for themselves. Like “from the producers of” type of stuff and other general intellectual property stuff. Not great but if they’re paying to have it made it makes sense halfway through they don’t want you changing networks. You don’t start a show on Disney and end it on Netflix that’s just not how the world works. They bought the product, you don’t pay for someone to build a house and then Act like it’s reasonable they want to take it after.

4) that layoffs exist and happen sometimes? Unfortunate yes. Considering how normal that is and that half the article is about how bad RQ is at making money it should not be a surprise. When a company follows laws such as “pay workers” and doesn’t have the money to do it the solution is “have less workers” sorry to say.

5) that money from productions goes to services used to make those productions (acast)

6) that volunteers exist

7) they aren’t good at advertising their own shows

8) this is actually legitimately not great but again not horrible. They expect people to work 16-20 hours a week and they end up working a WHOLE 24 a week. This is in many places known as a part time job.

9) they think the show will pay more than it will but the Patreon doesn’t get enough and when it does they were still bad with ads so the projected amount was bad. They still get that living wage it’s just not the bonus they planned for. Everyone who works in retail or any job that involves making plan that you don’t account for bonus in your budget.

10) if you try to talk to management there’s a waitlist but if you try to talk to your projects team there’s no issue. Almost as if management runs 50+ projects and the project team only runs one 🤔

11) they’re hands off and let you do their thing. I’m not kidding this is a point in there that’s supposed to be bad

That’s about it. Like no it’s not a utopia or a fun thing where you do whatever and get free money. You can unfortunately tell it’s written by a 20 year old because they think a company ALLEGEDLY holding people to their contracts, paying minimum wage for a part time job, wanting to make money, and not knowing the exact amount of hours they’ll have for you or the amount of money a project will make for your bonus is worthy of writing an article about and being scandalized.

Before believing something check sources. If you don’t want to do that, at least read the article before deciding that somethings horrible and evil. There isn’t any dodged workers comp or wage theft or anything seriously upsetting. If the lack of any named sources or credentials or the fact it’s a competing network or the use of the word alleged 1000 times and the rewrites and misquotes other people have brought up don’t mean anything, then at worst this is all true and you might be asked to work a few extra fully paid hours a week and get paid minimum wage at a part time job and have to follow the rules you agreed to with little bonus. Oh no. I wonder what that’s like, what a nightmare.

i've been lurking on the socialskills subreddit for a while bc i've been trying to improve my social skills and this post came up by this 24 y/o girl who was unsure of what to do bc her 50 (!!!!!!!) y/o male coworker was making moves on her and it was making her uncomfortable and the amount of comments that were insisting that it wasn't creepy and invalidating other comments from girls who were a similar age to her who were voicing their own discomfort at the situation was so infuriating. like i know it's reddit and what do u expect but still. like the man is old enough to be her father 😭😭

goddd i know it sounds dramatic but this legitimately makes me wanna cry 😭 because it's this exact brand of common, normalised misogyny that makes it impossible for conversations about sexism to be taken seriously by people who were raised to see women a certain way and will always view women a certain way no matter how much they wanna deny it, no matter how much they claim that any pushback to their harmful ideals is just wokeism gone mad .....it just makes me sick. and sad for women everywhere honestly like. why should this be a normal part of our daily lives LOL how is this by any stretch of the imagination acceptable to anyone? :( but yeah honestly if you want your brain to melt and your soul to die just ask any question on reddit about women. the replies will make you murderous every time. i really hope that woman is OK and that she was able to get out of her situation - how scary for her. imagine how lonely it must've felt for her to read the replies :( they just don't care, im convinced.

yeag okay happy feeyt time

Okay take two since tumblr ate this post last time.

Okay so it starts with penguins being horny unironically. So these penguins Norma Jean and Memphis fall in love and have egg. So as is penguin religion for sone reason the guy penguins watch the eggs and the gal penguins leave to fish so theres this blizzard and Memphis drops Egg which in penguin religion is absolutely terrible. Flash ahead to all the eggs hatching, Memphis' egg doesnt budge. So Gloria (little gal penguin WHOS VOICED BY P!NK??) and her dad come over and lil babu gloria taps at the egg until some peets pop out and Memphis is like "YAY OK BABY I HAVE BABY" and Mumble (Memphis' baby) pops out but hes tapping his feet and Memphis is like "wtf" and Mumbles like "my feets are happy :)" but they tell him to stop being autistic and so theres that. So as kids they are supposed to have a heartsong which is a penguin religion thing used to attract mates in the future so Gloria belts out something wonderful but Mumble sounds like a dying cassowary and just grows up as a mommas boy outcast. At sone point hes nearly eaten by a predator bird but hes a smart baby and asks ab the ring on his leg and this bird is like "alien. Abduction" but really he was just observed by humans n shit but this gives baby Mume enough time to hide in a hole until they leave! Ok so now all the baby guins grow up, Priest penguin gives a speech ab the graduating n shit. So theyre all at this party and Glorias sibging and for some reason theyre singing queen how do the penguins know queen. So Mumble gets excited and starts not only dancing but also honking and he gets kicked out which is sad. He wakes up alone and is like "hahah lol very funny this is a prank right" until this fucking RUSSIAN LEOPARD SEAL TRIES TO EAT HIM??? So he panics and scrambles on land and these hispanic guins (ONE OF WHICH IS ROBIN FUCKING WILLIAMS) tease the seal with him until it leaves, call themselves "the amigos" then take him to their land or whatevs so he learns about them making nests with pebbles n shit. Then theyre like "how do you get girls" and hes like "well we sing" but he cant sing bc he sounds like a drowning furby when he tries. So they hang out n such and then belly slide down a hill but a tractor falls in the water and hes like "amigos wtf was that!" And theyre like "dont know dont care" so they take him to this guy named Lovelace who is some sort of guru ig?? Some fat penguin with a plastic ring stuck round his neck claiming he speaks to mystic beings??? So Mumble is like "have you ever been ubducted bc i met a bird with a ring kinda like that" and Lovelace (WHO IS ALSO THE FUCKING NARRATOR) gets irrationally mad and tells him to leave. AND THEN LEAVES TO FUCK HIS BITCHES, IM NOT EXAGGERATING GO WATCH IT. and so he leaves with the amigos and goes home like "Guys i know whos taking our fish!" But tge priest guin us like "YOU UPSET GOD WITH YOUR TAP DANCING" and his momma is like "leave my kid alone!" And his dad us begging him to be normal and hes like "its my fault hes this way, I DROPPED HIM' yknow for dramatics so hes like "fuck yall! Imma go find those aliens and save our fish!" So he leaves and the amigos take him back to Lovelace who is now choking so they have to guess what hes attempting to say. They go to the ekeohant seals who basically tell him to give up and Mumble is like "guys, tell mom i love her" and JUMPS OFF A FUCKING CLIFF??? WHAT??? So he swims off to find the humans but washes up unconcious on shore and is taken to the zoo. So theres a heart breaking scene of him trying to talk to humans but hes just bird screaming at them until he loses his voice and it broke me, dude. So after three months hes literally hallucinating and contemplating just givibg up but this lil girl taps at the glass. So he starts tap dancing and the girl leaves and hes like "damnit, i messed up huh" but she comes back with her mom so he dances until hes surrounded by a crowd. So they dont make it clear in the next scene but he ends up back home for some reason (maybe eligible for release?) And hes like "GUYS WE GOTTA TAP DANCE FOR THE ALIENS" but the priest Guin gets mad again like "FUCK YOU YOU UPSET GOD THATS WHY THERES NO FISH" but Mumble has a tracking device on his back and itsa beepin. so now half the birds are singing and half are dancing. So norma is like "MY BABY IS ALIIIIVE" and greets him until she brings him to Memphis WHO HAD LITERALLY GIVEN UP BECAUSE HE WAS SO GUILTY OVER LETTING HIS SON BE EXILED?? so hes like "dad we gotta dance" so he teaches his dad to dance. All these humans arrive and now all these penguins are dancing so these humans are recording now and it goes VIRAL. So now its this montage of humans fighting for fishing restrictions and penguin rights?? Flash forward, happy eva afta for the penguins!! Gloria n Mumble hit it off and everyone is happy :) 

please...as a treat...<3

getting attacked on all fronts.

okay. get cancelled on tumblr speedrun any%

warnings for well. the obvious.

ok like nobody's surprised that hikaru and kaoru fuck absolutely nobody. like. come on. be real.

but the thing is, they cannot be normal about it. hikaru has mad adhd and general boredom issues so if they do Not change it up very frequently or if he deems whatever theyre doing "too boring" "too vanilla" he will Die.

so okay. they have probably done every sex position under the sun and weird kinks or whatever. but i think both of them like roleplaying. bc there's quite a bit you can do to make it new and interesting. and like not soon after this kaoru is like . can we roleplay cinderella. and have sex.

which you know. this is the same guy who looked at cinderella r34 as a middle schooler and has had intense guilt over it the likes you only ever see in ex religious members and has vowed he will NEVER pervert cinderella ever. its cinderella. so like. why the sex roleplay. but hikaru doesnt bring it up bc he's afraid he will get like a joker level rant from kaoru to what lead him to this point so he's just like. sure. sounds funny.

and uuuusually hikaru is the prince and kaoru is cinderella but they like to switch it up and do the reverse or something entirely different. roleplay from different cinderella stories/movies. hikaru is ok with this on the basis he gets to see kaoru crossdress and he likes kaoru crossdressing. kaoru is also very particular about the slipper scene uncomfortably so and its always a point in their roleplays to the point hikaru asks him if he has a foot/footwear fetish and kaoru always says no and tbf its ONLY with the cinderella roleplays he gets like this so. who is to say. the usual setting is like, the scene where cinderella and the prince meet at the ball except here they Fuck but they have other Fun ones like post-marriage AU (#NotUntilMarriage) but sometimes its some really fucked up like. abuse au. or like. cinderella x step-mother torture noncon and its really really fucking weird. and messed up. but hikaru thinks its a little funny but also wonders Why. but he doesnt want to ask so he never does. and kaoru doesnt elaborate ever hes just like "today i think we should do [insert scene here]" and they do.

they dont really talk about it afterwards nobody brings it up its just a Thing. like. oh tonight is Cinderella Sex Night. yeah. ok.

inb4 "this is ooc" brotha im talking about hikakao roleplaying cinderella while fucking. when did i ever indicate i cared about canon.