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icallhimjoey · 10 months

Note

Love love love your writing! I’d be so interested to see your take on a friends to lover situation where the reader and Joe are good friends and the reader constantly gets the ick so Joe sets a challenge at a party (thinking Italian summer party) for her to find someone who doesn’t give them the ick.

And she realises that Joe is the only one that has no icks 👀

okay so ive had an INTERESTING (read: 18+, v spicy) suggestion from werepartnersnow who, by the way, claims she doesn't read rpf but then found herself in my inbox asking for very specific filth 👀👀👀 but, anyway, it was good filth, and i was trying to find a way to tackle her request, and then this request really brought it all together for me, so, THANK YOU! here we GO sluts! Wordcount: 3.9K

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Double Or Nothing

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

“Did Joe say he was coming?”

“Yea, I’m surprised he’s not been spotted yet,”

Heads craned back, and you grumbled into your beer. Conversation had been flowing so nicely, and now, suddenly, everyone had to look at the pub entrance to check if there was any sign of Joe yet.

Like he was the guest of honour missing still.

Like the night hadn’t started properly yet, because Joe wasn’t there.

Ugh.

Now… listen...

By no means did you dislike Joe. He was your friend just as well as he was all of theirs. It was just that, Joe had seemingly become a lot more interesting to a lot more people in a very short amount of time. Even some of your friends sort of… fell for the sudden hype that surrounded him. Wanted it proven to the outside world that they were friends with Joe. That they knew him. Were part of his group.

And you kind of got it, or... at least a little.

Joe got to do very cool and exciting things, met very cool and exciting people, and he'd bring anyone who had the time to join. Any time he'd drop a message with the question 'who's got time off for these dates' it was really a first come, first served sort of deal.

So it kind of made sense that people wanted in with Joe. However, he couldn't pay you enough to sit next to him for a full day, or several, as he passed out autographs like boring assembly line work. To see people fawn over him. Tell him how amazing they all think he is...

Because Joe was… he was just Joe.

There was a lull in conversation, and you felt the need to remind everyone of the time Joe spent a full night ordering drinks for everyone before dipping out and leaving the last people with the bill.

He paid for his own share later, but, still. That was a shitty move.

Or when Imogen and Lawrence had gotten married, and he thought it was okay to help himself to a piece of cake before they'd done the ceremonious cutting of it.

Or when he'd invited everyone over to a party at someone's house without informing the host he was bringing seven other people. That night you'd just stood around awkwardly, all of you, knowing you weren't welcome and afraid to have any of the drinks for fear of them running out.

It felt healthy to remind everyone that Joe was just your shit friend. This guy who they’d known forever and who they also sometimes didn’t like. Because he could be a bit of a boring loser, who’d cancel on events last minute. One that you liked - he was still your friend, supported you when you needed support, made you laugh when you needed cheering up and was just... overall was a fun guy to hang out with. Despite all the shitty things.

Joe knew this is how you felt, and, not that you'd asked, but if you would have, he'd easily agree with you. Would just smile as you glared at him for forgetting someone's birthday and then pretending a gift someone else had bought was from him too.

And he got away with shit like that every single time because of that stupid smile. All charming, all endearing.

All handsome, and shit.

You felt a nudge to your knee under the table after you'd rolled your eyes at everyone looking around to find Joe. You were given a brief smirk by one of your friends before eyes turned away from you and you frowned. Idiot.

You knew what was insinuated there, and didn’t appreciate it.

It wasn’t the first time you’d been very adamant and obvious about not being impressed with Joe, and people took it to mean something else. Like you were overdoing it to hide your real feelings.

You weren’t overdoing anything, though, and you wanted to say something, wanted to argue and bite back at that stupid smug look you got, but you noticed the eyes of the people on the other side of the table focus on something over your head.

You jumped, tensed up with shock, when someone suddenly grabbed you by the shoulders. It nearly knocked over every drink on the table as your knees shot up and banged the underside of it.

“Jesus,”

“No, just me,” Joe joked, and he got heys and hellos and big smiles and even a drink handed over that someone had gotten him before he’d even arrived, and oh my fucking God, you needed more celebrities in your group because this was getting a little ridiculous.

You composed yourself fast, recollected yourself and tried your hardest to push down the blush that had crept onto your face.

Like you’d predicted, the second Joe joined the group, you suddenly all became his entourage.

Now you were all Joe's friends.

You weren’t, but, that’s what it felt like.

To Joe’s credit, he didn’t really act any different – he was still his quiet, normal self. Kind of dull, nothing crazy, just there for a laugh, comfortable with the spotlight being off of him for a little bit. That was nice, and you appreciated that.

It was just that your other friends were big dumb idiots. Not all of them, but, enough of them for it to bother you a little.

Although, Joe had changed his hair... so, he'd changed a little since Hollywood had come a-knocking.

It was all fine, though. The conversation automatically sort of continued from where it left of before Joe joined and the small bit of annoyance you felt before quickly disappeared.

You paid close attention to not paying close attention to Joe.

It wasn’t until Joe cheersed his glass with your half empty one to catch your attention that the irritation you'd felt before crept back in a little.

Not because of the focus landing on you, but because of the question he asked.

Not how are you. Not how’ve you been. But, “No David?”

You gave a little sarcastic smile, tilted your head down to look at him through your eyelashes and confirmed, “No David.”

Apparently that was enough for other people to comment on the matter as well.

“Yea, how’s that going?”

“Are you still seeing each other?”

You took too long to answer either question, and when you look a slow sip of your drink to give yourself more time to think of how you were going to frame this, you could see one of your friends groan. The lack of information said plenty.

“Oh no, here we go again,”

“Should’ve known it,”

“Did you dump him already?”

The whole table seemed to feel the same way about you and David not hanging out together anymore. Made sense though, David was the first guy in a good while you'd taken along to meet some of them. Before David, there'd just been a lot of first dates that only sometimes graduated into a second, and then, usually, contact would sort of... fizzle out.

“I didn’t dump him– there was no dumping to be done, we weren’t dating,”

You got a few scoffs.

“What was it this time?”

And, okay, so, your track record wasn't great by any means. It's just that... you were very easy to turn off, you guessed. And once you found something about someone that got under your skin, you couldn't not see it. You couldn't not hyper-focus on it, and you knew that from that moment on, whatever you and whichever guy had together was doomed to fail.

“Just... we didn't really match each other,”

That was the polite, vague way of putting it. You looked at your drink as you said it but felt Joe's eyes stare you down. It burned your cheeks a bit.

“No, be honest,” Izzy said, speaking to you as if you were a toddler before she went for a sip of her drink.

“What? That's essentially exactly why he's not here right now,”

Izzy scoffed, and you silently cursed your best friend. She was going to make you say it. The thing you told her in private. You took a mental note to never be honest with her again.

“Can I tell them the story, or are you going to do it yourself? I'd love to be the one to share it,” she sat up and leant in. Ready.

The eyes of your friends moved between her and you, like they were watching a tennis match, absolutely not sure where this was going, but very exciting to see where it was going to go.

“Well, it wasn't one specific thing,” you started, and foolishly, left too long a silence after. Izzy filled it immediately, because it very much was one specific thing and she couldn't keep the knowledge inside any longer.

“Bad sex.”

It got some hearty laughs from the group, and when you looked at Joe, you caught his narrowed eyes. He looked a bit hesitant, small smile playing his lips as he hovered his glass in front of his mouth, like was about to take a sip, but couldn't because he had to see how you were going to react to Izzy.

“Okay, no,” you fought. “It wasn't bad sex... not, like, not overall, anyway, it wasn't... it wasn't the worst by any means,” you stumbled through your words and it made Izzy shoot up her eyebrows.

“Oh, are we doing specifics?”

You groaned and saw Joe perk up a little from the corner of your eye.

Fuck.

“Absolutely not, that's not... that's not fair on David,”

What you meant was, let's not talk about my sex life in detail in the middle of this pub, thanks very much. But Izzy didn't care though. She hadn't listened to you faking your orgasms through her bedroom wall for a few weeks for fucking nothing.

“What did he claim to be good at?”

“Isabella...” using her full name did nothing, unfortunately.

“He'd boast about it so much, even I started getting a little jealous,”

“I'm going to get another drink,”

Escaping seemed a good idea. Izzy could just talk about the things she'd heard David say to you in the other room without you there. But you were kind of closed in. Couldn't just get up and make your way over to the bar without people having to move out of your way for it.

“What was it?” Joe asked carefully, voice not too loud, the question definitely only aimed for you to hear. Curious. Not that he was being any kinder towards you than any of your other friends were – you could see that cheeky smile, could see how he was ready to let laughter escape him. Plus, everyone heard him anyway.

You saw your friend open her mouth, ready to answer for you.

“Izzy, don't,” you raised a finger, and you silently cursed at yourself for not being able to keep a straight face anymore.

She was going to say it.

“Head.”

Someone snorted into their beer which splashed into their face and that made people laugh more than what Izzy'd said, but now, that information was out there. It made you slump down into your seat so far, you were practically under the table.

“You told him to fuck off for eating you out wrong? Am I hearing this right?” one of your friends asked, not even judgmentally, but more to coax you out of your hiding spot.

It worked.

“Okay, so, listen,” you sat up, ready to justify your actions. You weren't a horrible person, and you needed people to agree. “If you claim to be amazing at something like that, I would kind of expect you to then also... you know, actually know... where things, are?”

You looked around, read your friend's faces and most of them knew exactly what you meant. Didn't need to use the actual words to describe in detail what David couldn't locate.

Izzy read your friend's faces different, though. Thought they did need clarification, and she was an accommodating friend. Wanted to help out. Also enjoyed embarrassing you a little too much, the bitch.

“Kept licking her leg, sucked on everything but her clit,”

“Oh my G–” you hid your face with both your hands, elbows perched on the table.

“David, David, David,” Joe shook his head, tutted at you, seemed to feel genuinely sorry for the guy.

“To be fair, it's a good reason to stop seeing someone,” someone else said, and you quipped a quick thank you. The comment prompted people to go over all of the other reasons you'd turned men down before, and the list was... extensive, to say the least.

Chewed on his food with his mouth open. Dressed like he was colourblind. Was into weird experimental music that really got under your skin. Bit down on his fork when he ate. Held his phone only an inch away from his face when he used it. Kissed with his eyes wide open like a psychopath. Ran after a beerpong ball in a half-crouch and failed in his attempts to grab it as it bounced. Puns.

Every ick came with it's own backstory and you were shocked by how much your friends remembered - you'd forgotten half the things they were bringing up, reminiscing about the batch of men that you'd turned down for reasons they all deemed ridiculous. It was a lot of laughing at your expense. It was a good thing you were a good sport and that you genuinely liked your friends, so you just laughed along. Knew they all would've probably gotten annoyed by the same things you had. You know, eventually.

It wasn't until someone looked around and said, “There's got to be at least one person in here who doesn't scare her off immediately,” and no, no, no, no. You didn't need your friends actually getting involved in you meeting men.

Not tonight, anyway.

But heads started turning and eyes started scoping out the place, gliding across and lingering on men that maybe stood a chance.

You checked and saw that Joe didn't join in. He was looking down below the table, seemingly to check what his feet were touching, or something along those lines, anyway.

It could be a way to opt out of the game that your friends engaged in mostly to just make fun of you. It could also be that his attention span was too short and he was bored. Both options were awful. The fact that you even looked at him to check was awful in and of itself.

You were no better than your friends.

“Okay, enough,” you held up a hand, elbow in the middle of the table whilst you squeezed your eyes shut. “If you're going to make me look at people and come up with an ick, we'll be here all night. I could even go over all of you and think of several icks for each of you, so let's not,” you laughed, hoping it'd put an end to it.

It did the exact opposite.

“Not for me!” one friend argued, and the whole table laughed. Everyone could easily name multiple things, and so it kicked off.

You all went around the table, named things about each other that would drive you mad if you were to date them. It ranged from obvious things like snoring and working too much, to more niche things, like how someone would continuously pronounce a word wrong whilst insisting that they were right (they weren't) and someone else not wearing socks in certain pairs of shoes (gross).

You were the deciding factor each time. If you agreed with what someone said, there was no more arguing and you'd move on to the next person.

Until you reached Joe.

“Let's go, give me all you've got,” Joe beckoned with both hands, welcoming the criticism like a trooper. It was all innocent fun, after all.

And your friends would name things. All sorts. How he sometimes wouldn't reply to texts for days, leaving people on read for ages. How he'd cancel on people by saying wild shit like, “Oops, sorry, can't make it tonight, I'm in Tokyo rn”. The fact that he'd always hold up the last cigarette from a packet and say, “This is the last one, I'm quitting after this,” and then he'd just as easily buy another packet straight after.

But an unsettling realisation dawned on you.

You silently, almost automatically, dismissed everything that your friends mentioned, that got them laughing and got Joe to jokingly gasp and pretend offense to because... none of it turned you off per se.

Your eyes narrowed as you stared at him.

Oh no.

You had to be able to come up with something...

“She fucking hates smokers anyway,” Izzy commented.

“Yea... usually, I do,”

Joe looked at you and raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

“I don't know...”

Wide eyes looked at each other across the table, and Izzy couldn't fucking believe what she was hearing.

“That doesn't bother you?”

You laughed and gave your friend a panicked look, “It should! But... somehow it doesn't?”

You got a nudge of a knee under the table again and knew exactly what it meant. You pretended you hadn't felt it. That felt safer.

People started repeating things, waiting for you to go, “Ugh yes,” but you didn't, for none of it, and you thought of lying. Of just pretending that something did, but learning that none of Joe's personality traits actually rubbed you wrong was just as shocking to you as it was to everyone else.

Joe even joined in himself, said, “I'm always fidgetting!” but it did the fucking opposite. Made you look at his hands and notice how nice they were.

Shit.

“Is Joe ick-less?” a pair of astonished eyes asked you, and you couldn't fucking believe yourself when you slowly nodded, lips pressed together impossibly tight.

Joe was ick-less... what the actual fuck?!

“Uh oh,”

“We've found the one, guys! Game over!”

“So, when's the wedding?”

You scoffed. Loudly. Your friends were confirming they were big dumb idiots, you didn't even have to do any convincing of it yourself.

“Nah,” Joe said, and when you looked at him, you grew immediately shy. The little smirk and the mischievous eyes threatened trouble. “I can break her...”

Oh, fuck. The air between the two of you sparkled as your friends oohed, all eyes moving back and forth between the two of you. Even Izzy seemed intrigued.

“One week to give her the ick,” someone suggested.

“Easy,” Joe boasted, not breaking eye-contact.

“Why would you care abou–” you started, but were cut off by Joe who's smile got wider by the second as he challenged you, “And if I win?”

Despite the fact that his eyes were on you, the question was directed at your other friends. When they didn't answer, Joe turned to them, “What are we playing for?”

This... this wasn't happening.

“If you lose, she deserves some good head,” Izzy quipped, and you could've murdered her right then and there. Could've broken a glass on the edge of a table to slit her throat with, because what the fuck was that?

“Three days of head,”

“I said good head,”

“Guys, stop!” you tried, but you might as well not have been there.

“And if you win, she'll return the favour,”

“What?! Oh my God, fuck off, we're not doing this,” you waved both hands in a line, signaling that this was enough now. The joke was over. You weren't laughing.

“Three favours then,” someone else proposed.

“Like that's going to make a difference, he'll just ask for three days of head,”

“No, he'll make her his PA, for a con, or whatever,”

“Ooh, good one!”

“Yea, I'm not falling for that again,”

Joe snorted as your friends debated about a bet that definitely wasn't going to happen. You weren't going to shake on this, no matter how badly they wanted this free bit of entertainment for themselves.

“Okay,” Izzy said, smacking the table with a flat palm, shutting everyone up.

“Joe is going give you the ick within a week. If he does, you'll owe him three favours and if he doesn't, you'll be getting from Joe what you haven't gotten from David,”

“What if she lies?”

“She's a terrible liar, I see right through her,”

And Izzy did. Had always been able to.

“Jesus Christ, you're a bunch of delusional losers,” you laughed.

There was going to have to be a moment where Joe would side with you and you'd swipe the whole ordeal off the table together. At least, that's what you expected.

You expected wrong.

Instead of Joe telling your friends to leave you alone, to be sensible and kind, because you hadn't even gotten good sex in a little while, poor puppy... instead of all of that, you noticed how he waited for the commotion at the table to quiet down a little before he said, “Double or nothing.”

“What?”

“Double or nothing. One week of head,”

“Izzy said good hea-,”

“One week of good head, or one week of favours,”

You frowned slightly at him, dumbfounded that Joe seemed to be going with all of this.

He was actually going along with it.

Were you going to want to let Joe go down on you?

Wait.

You wrecked your brain and tried to think of everything that someone had ever done to you that had turned you off immediately. Would those same things be awful of Joe did them?

Probably not. But... maybe.

Shit, you kind of wouldn't mind a full week of Joe going down on you. Making you come on his mouth. It'd be weird, sure, but also, when was the last time someone made you orgasm with just their mouth?

Jesus, what a wild conclusion - you had no idea that Joe confused you this much. If anything, you'd learnt something about yourself today that you honestly never thought was something you were ever going to have to think about.

So the question maybe wasn't, would you let Joe go down on you... The question was, would you let Joe drag you along to be his personal assistant for a week? Because that was most definitely what he was going to ask of you. You had no interest in tagging along to watch someone do their job, and everyone knew this about you.

Fuck, were you... were you considering doing this?

Joe felt the second of hesitation and held his pinky out, hoping he'd get you to link yours with his before that window closed.

Your eyes glanced at Izzy, who somehow looked bored and giddy at the same time.

Should you do it? Joe's pinky flexed and he questioningly raised his eyebrows at you, a small smile playing underneath.

Just for shits and giggles?

What came out of your mouth next was so quiet, it was barely audible in the loud ambiance of the pub.

“Fine.”

But it was okay, people didn't need to be able to hear you. Because it was embarrassing, but also, because what happened next was one of your arms, moving from where it cupped your own face to half way across the table. Your pinky finger met Joe's and they linked.

“Deal.”

Joe's stupid face broke into a huge grin that made you instantly regret agreeing, but his pinky was stronger than yours and held you in its grip as he repeated your words back to you.

“Fine. Deal.”

---

The Taglisted:

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(taglist currently full, sorry!)

#Joe Quinn #Joseph Quinn #18+#Joe Quinn x You #Joseph Quinn x You #Joe Quinn x Reader #Joseph Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn Fanfic #Joe Quinn fanfiction #Joseph Quinn Fanfic #Joseph Quinn Fanfiction #rpf #joe quinn x y/n #joseph quinn x y/n #requested #double or nothing

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evadoupixii · 9 months

Text

➸ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: (18+) Smut, cowboy, Mutual masturbation, riding.

➸ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: All these twitter art posts are just inspiration at this point: Art credits: Niharikajetty twitter ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

Cowboyeren! Who consistently reminds himself to avoid you at all costs. His brother Armin had invited over you to stay at the farmhouse the summer of freshmen year of college. Armin had told him you were in a not so great situation at home and wanted help in anyway he could which Eren applauded his little brother for. But god why did it have to you? The day Armin picked you up from the airport and brought you back home Eren could barley look hold a conversation with you without staring at your lips. You were so cute, so sexy. He knew those words meant two different things but he didn't care, he wanted to call you every name in the book if he could. Late at night after he came back to the house from putting the animals to bed in the barn. He would pass by your room and see you in a white cami nightdress that clung obscenely tight to your body, water droplets sliding off your skin as you just had gotten out the shower. You were bent over with your suitcase open on the floor adjacent to you as you placed your clothes in the dresser. You looked up feeling the presence of someone in the door way, to see nothing.

Cowboyeren! Who that night for the first time in a long time had trouble sleeping. His mind re-playing the image of you bent over in your room replaced with the image of you bent over in other scenarios. With the nightdress nowhere to be found of course.

Cowboyeren! Who silently scolded himself for staring at your legs too long whenever you would help him and Armin out with the farm. You would wear these little jean shorts that practically rode up your ass, and a white tank top that made your chest look godsent. It didn't matter what you wore to be honest, you were godsent. Who made it a mental note to himself when he caught you staring at his dick print one morning when he went downstairs shirtless, with some gray sweats that hung low off waist. Who made it a mental note to himself your interests whenever you talked about something that you liked or something that you in your words “Gave you an ick.” Who placed his hand on your thigh when you got emotional telling him about your family situation, opening yourself up to him. A little fucked up voice in the back of his mind being grateful that your families hatred and unforgivable behavior towards you, drove you to him.

Cowboyeren! Who touched himself one night when he could hear your soft moans on the other side of the wall. You had said an early goodnight to him and Armin after playing a round of uno and watching star wars. Not soon after he had gone up to his room as well to pass your door and hear the soft buzz of what sounded like a vibrator. He stayed still for a moment feeling his body tense up as he slowly walked toward the door and put his ear to it. You probably thought you were being quite. Oh boy were you wrong. Cut to now, he had came in his hand about four times listening to you touch yourself. The crazy thing is, you didn't even last that long. You had stopped about 20 minutes later to which Eren couldn't help himself but to keep stroking himself. Imagining him fucking you while you were bent over after a long day working at the farm house.

Cowboyeren! Who imagined the way your pretty mouth would look filled with his cock. Your moans and whimpers growing as he took a handful of your hair and fucked your face harder and harder.. Who closed his eyes and rubbed the tip of his cock as he imagined how your mouth would feel. Fuck, how your pussy would feel. The image of your tits boucning as you rode his cock. Him taking your love handles into his hands and drilling his cock into you as you screamed for him to slow down.

Cowboyeren! Who laid in his bed sweaty and sticky with own cum heard little footsteps outside of his door. Who’s breath caught in his throat as he watched the doorknob of his door twist and heard the slow aching creak of his door open.

stay tuned for part 2!

#eren x reader #eren x y/n #Cowboyeren!#Cowboyeren x reader #Aot x reader #Aot drabbles #Attack on titan x reader #AOT smut

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cowgurrrl · 7 months

Text

Marrow

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (plus platonic!ellie williams x fem!reader)

Author’s note: thanks for being patient!! I made a new graphic for the in-between parts of When You’re Lost in the Darkness/Look for the Light because I wanted to 😌 (PS this is somewhat of rewrite/reimagining of my first fic Everything Leads to You so if there are some similarities, iTS FINE)

Summary: “This was always going to happen. She’s been dead since the beginning.” - Oresteia as translated by Robert Icke aka the beginning of the journey

Warnings: discussions of Tess, reference to Adam, Joel being stubborn, talking to Ellie about mortality, references to a sexual relationship, the horrors of being seen by someone who could break your heart

"Stay here," you say to Ellie after a full ten minutes of waiting. He didn't even say where he was going. He just left without another word and expects you to be there by the time he returns, which is annoying in its own right.

"What? Where are you going?" Ellie asks before you can even take two steps in the direction he left.

"To find Joel."

"He said to stay here."

"Joel says a lot of things." You roll your eyes. She didn't try arguing with Joel when he left, but here she is, holding you up. She better hope he's just down there fucking around and not in trouble.

"What am I supposed to do if someone finds me?"

"No one's gonna find us out here."

"But what if they do?" She asks, and you can recognize the anxiety in her voice. She's a lot like Joel, you've noticed. Fierce and short-tempered but with lots of uncertainty brewing just underneath. You soften just enough to crouch in front of her and open your hand.

"You still got your knife?" You ask, and she nods. "Can I show you something?" She hesitates before pulling the knife out of her jacket pocket and placing it in your hand. You see why she likes it so much. It's a good size, sleek, and perfectly balanced. You open the blade and hold the handle firmly. "If they get close enough, jab at soft parts. Eyes, stomach, throat. It might not kill them immediately, but it'll distract them enough for you to run away and get our attention."

"Same for Infected?"

"Same for Infected," you say. "Runners are just sick people. They have almost all the same weak points."

"Is it hard to kill them when you know they were people once?" She asks, and your mind immediately goes to that Shell station from all those years ago. Against your will, you remember his groans and the look in his eyes as he pushed you away from the last time. You clear your throat and close the blade to hand it back to her.

"Not when they come after you first," you say. She eyes you carefully like she doesn't believe you, but you stand before she can see right through you. "Stay here. We'll be right back." She doesn't move from her spot as you walk away, but you catch her changing her grip on her knife to copy the way you held it.

You find Joel on the river bank you and Tess passed more times than you could ever count. The water is clear and running without a care in the world. It would be peaceful if you weren't strategizing on how to have this conversation with Joel. It's necessary, but if you know him (which you do), you know it'll result in a fight. You decide to approach him gently with empty hands and a soft, if not a little pained, smile. He glances in your direction but doesn't acknowledge you as he reaches into the cold water and pulls a smooth rock from the bottom. He adds it to the stack right next to him and stares at it like it's something more sentimental than just a cairn. Maybe it is. He wouldn't tell you if it was. Not now. Not when Tess hasn't even been dead for twenty-four hours. Finally, he stands and turns to look at you.

"How's your hand?" You ask, breaking the unbearable silence between you. He looks between you and his stained, cracked knuckles and shrugs.

"Fine." He says, his voice deep and rough. You step closer to get a better look at his hand and fight the urge to reach for it to press around for the fracture you're positive is swelling under his skin.

"You don't have to be a hero about it. I can wrap it."

"I said 'm fine," he snaps. You nod and take a step back. You know, from years of diffusing Joel's anger, this is a delicate dance. "Where's Ellie?"

"Right where you left her. I came down here 'cause I wanted to make sure you were alive."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to," you say. The levity in your voice startles him into looking you in the eyes for the first time since you left the destroyed capitol building. The brown of his eyes feels especially heavy and sad, but you don't flinch. You rarely do with him. "Plus, I wanted to see if we could talk."

"Bout what?" He says like nothing in the past few days has been catastrophic enough to require a conversation.

"About what you think Bill and Frank are gonna do."

"Take her to the Fireflies or get someone else to do it."

"And if they say no?"

"They won't."

"How do you know?" You ask, and he rolls his eyes. "Frank's sick, Joel. Really, really sick. He can't just get in a car and take this girl to the Fireflies, and Bill's not gonna leave him."

"How do you know?" He accuses.

"Because I actually talk to them on the radio," you say. "From what he's told me, it sounds like Parkinson's or something. I don't know. I'm not a doctor."

"Exactly," he agrees with enough tension in his voice to poke at the fiery anger in your belly. "Frank's fine. They'll set him up in the truck and drive her there."

"What about Raiders? Or Slavers? Or what happens if they run out of gas and can't find more? Frank can't just walk her to Wyoming."

"Bill'll figure it out."

"If Tess were that sick-"

"Don't. Don't even start with that." He cuts you off, and you sigh.

"Is this really how we're gonna do this? Just not talk to each other about anything? Keep our heads in the sand until it's too late?" You ask. "Keep lying to ourselves that everything's normal?"

"You were just fine doin' that not even a week ago." He crosses his arms over his chest and raises his eyebrows at you. You know exactly what he's referring to. It's a tangle of limbs and whispers of so fuckin' pretty, 's like you were made for me, just like that, but you remember. Of fucking course, you remember every time he made you his and left the marks to prove it. Of course, you remember looking at him the next day like absolutely nothing happened, like he didn't fall to his knees in front of you like you were some long-forgotten deity. You and Joel are not people who do long-term relationships, especially not with each other. Still, his comment feels like a jab at the way you got dressed and left not even ten minutes after he came.

"A week ago, we didn't have a fourteen-year-old to keep alive," you say. He sucks his teeth and looks down at his boots; clearly not a fan of your redirecting. "We're already going west. We might as well just finish this out and get her to the Fireflies. I'll even let you knock a few around if you really want to."

"'S that supposed to be some kinda incentive?"

"If finding your brother and doing what Tess asked us to do isn't enough, then yeah," he tenses when you say her name. It hurts to know she's gone. It hurts even more to know she sacrificed herself so you three would have a chance. You'll be damned if you let her death mean nothing. "And if we get to Bill and Frank's, and they won't take her, and you still don't want to do this, I'll take her myself."

"Not a chance." He counters before you can finish your sentence. You fight a smirk, knowing you've got him right where you want him, and he sighs heavily. You know he would never let you do this by yourself. He also knows he can't leave you to go back to yet another empty apartment and wait for him to come back alive or never hear from him again. For all your fighting, secrets, and unspoken agreements, you think there's no one else in this world you know better than Joel. You hope he thinks the same about you.

"We get to Bill and Frank's, and then we make a decision, but we gotta agree somehow. Fair?" He relents, and you nod.

"Fair."

"Anythin' else we need to talk bout?" He asks, looking at you expectantly. Yes, you think. We need to talk about what made you beat the FEDRA soldier to death. We need to talk about Tess. We need to talk about how far we're willing to go to get to Tommy and drop this kid off. We need to talk like real people and not the shells we've been.

"No," you say. "Nothing else."

"Good," he nods and walks past you, his shoulder brushing yours as he does. "Let's get moving."

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @moonandseatgr-yngf @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @korynnekorynne @anavatazes (please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list/if I missed you!!)

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badbihk · 2 years

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What Goes Around... Comes Around

Toxic jack x ex gf reader

part 1 part 2

it had been a year and four months since jack lost you and he hadn’t had a moment of peace since.

486 days of pain.

6 months of sobriety and intensive therapy. jack knew he had his own problems and narcissistic ways. he had convinced himself that if he put in the work, then you would find your way back to him. that’s how manifestation works right? as much as he learned about healthy coping mechanisms and unlearning toxic behaviors; he still found himself on your boyfriends instagram.

liked by yourinstagram and 142 others

yourboyfriendusername 8 months strong 💪🏾💕 @yourinstragram

yourinstagram 💕

wtf? thats all he has to say? jack couldn’t help but laugh. he knew you weren’t as happy as you pretended to be. two months ago, in the middle of the night, you had randomly unblocked him on everything . neither of you had said a word, but jack knew what that meant. you had gave him the opening and now all he needed to do was pick the perfect time to make his move. there was no way in hell he put in all this work to not get his girl back. he didn’t care who you were dating, hell you could be married and you would still be his girl. he went off of Instagram and opened the messages between y’all. should he text you? he really didn’t want to start shit, but at the same time he didn’t give a fuck if he started shit between you and your man.

you sighed as you turned off your phone. were you gonna meet him tonight? of course not. he did you so dirty for so long. what would you even say? what is there to even say? you say your phone down and walked into the empty living room. your boyfriend was out of town visiting family, leaving you with nothing to do all weekend. you truly liked your boyfriend as a person, but as a partner ? not so much. he was thoughtful and loyal but that’s about all you could say. besides that he was messy, annoying, clingy, and as jack said corny. everything he did have you the ick. you felt as if you were dating a child in a grown man’s body. he couldn’t even make you happy; let alone make you cum. that was never a problem with jack. wtf? why am i even thinking of jack. fuck him. you sat down on the couch and turned on the tv half paying attention. maybe you should just go talk to jack. you never really got closure right? but you would be just as bad as jack was to you if you went over there. if it was going to be on your mind so hard maybe you should just go over there? no. absolutely not.

jack stared at the last message he sent.

read at 5:51

damn. so that’s how you was gonna do him? he shot his shot and you blocked the fuck out of it. now you were just gonna ignore him. fuck that. he didn’t care if he had to pull up at your house and sit outside for 3 days straight. he couldn’t do this anymore he wanted to see you. NEEDED to see you. he felt as though he had played his role. yes he constantly stalked all your social media and called you 30 times in one day, but that was months ago. ever since that day he saw you in person, he made the conscious decision to leave you alone. absence makes the heart grow fonder right? he sat there for 45 minutes deep in thought; debating if he should just come see you. he finally just gave up. after all this over thinking he definitely needed a nap.

jack had been asleep for a little over an hour before he was woken up by his phone going off. he rolled over and answered without checking who was calling.

“hello” he said husky voice while sitting up against his headboard.

“why the fuck would you tell me to come over if you aren’t going to answer the door” you say as you ring the doorbell yet again. “i’ve been knocking for ten minutes. You wanted me to come over and i came but im finna leave bc i feel like you are playing”. were you mad? no, but you were irritated. you put your ass on the line to come over here the least he could do is open the door.

“ y/n I swear to god i was asleep and didn’t hear you my bad im coming now.” jack says practically hopping out of bed and racing to open the door.

as he opens the door, he feels his heart skip a beat. you looked beautiful. he felt like he was seeing you for the first time again.

“ are you gonna stare at me or let me in?” you question

“my bad” he says opening the door wider for you and stepping out of the way.

you weren’t trying to be rude but it was like once you saw his face all the anger came back. you truly loved this man and he took advantage of that. why tf did you even come here?

jack could sense your attitude from a mile away. you had been here for 20 minutes and hadn’t said a word. he sat next to you on the couch as he watched you scroll through tik tok aimlessly.

“ look im gonna go. i don’t know why i came here. i thought we would talk about everything or something but im good on this.” you say while standing up and reaching for your purse.

“wait y/n please don’t leave we can talk if you want to i just didn’t want to bring up everything because i didn’t want to trigger you. i figured if you wanted to talk about everything that’s happened you would bring it up”

you sighed and sat back down facing him. “you go first because i’m pretty sure you understand how i feel based on how i left your ass”

damn. that what probably deserved jack thought to himself. “ look i fucked up. you did everything in your power to keep me happy. you stuck around even when you shouldn’t have, even when i didn’t appreciate you. i hate that it had to take me loosing you for me to finally understand. real love is hard to find and you gave that to me. as cliche as it sounds it was never you because it was always me. i let my own insecurities and demons take over and control me. on top of that i was always drunk and high trying to ignore the battle that was going on in my head. you didn’t deserve anything i put you through and i am truly sorry. i don’t care if you don’t forgive me, i need you to know how sorry i am. i will be spending the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, even if that means just being your friend and supporting you from afar. i made my bed and now I have to lie in it. i do love you and always have but i couldn’t be the man you needed, and i have spent months trying to change that.” jack said while tearing up.

“jack i-”

“ im not trying to be rude but i don’t need you to say anything i just wanted you to hear that so maybe it could give you some peace of mind. i want you happy with or without me.”

you don’t know what took over you, but before you could even think about what was happening your lips were on his and you were on top of him. the kiss was so passionate and needy. it was like you both needed the other to breathe. how could you have gone this long without him? his hands had a tight grip on your ass pulling you as close to him as possible as you straddled him. it felt as if you could finally see him for the first time in almost 6 years. this was the jack you had fallen in love with, and this was the jack that brought out the best in you. it was like you were in a trance until you realized what you were doing. you quickly jerked back, breaking the kiss.

“we can’t do t-this jack” you say standing up and taking a few steps away from him. “i can’t hurt him like this”

“okay I understand” jack says while remaining seated and adjusting himself through his pants “why did you say it like that” he questions

“like what?”

“like you are trying to convince yourself that you don’t want this”

you sighed. he was right you did want this but what type of person would that make you?

“just say the word y/n and ill be on my knees for you right now giving you exactly what you want” he says as he gets up and takes a step toward you, causing you to take a step back into the wall.

you feel his thumb against your clit rubbing circles through your leggings. of course you weren’t wearing underwear today. you could feel your wetness soaking through the thin fabric.

“do you want me to stop?” he questions as he applies more pressure causing your knees to buckle.

“no please don’t stop” you moan out while digging your nails into his shoulder trying to steady yourself.

jack drops to his knees in front of you and pulls your leggings down to your ankles. your hands instantly goes to his hair gripping his curls. he runs his finger across your soaked slit and puts the same finger in his mouth, sucking on it.

“you always taste so good” he says before putting two fingers into you causing you to let out an airy moan. his thumb finds its way to your clit as his fingers work in sync pumping in and out of you as his thumb is rubbing delicate circles on your throbbing clit. with his other arm he lifts your leg up and onto his shoulder giving him better access to you. he replaces his thumb with his mouth causing you to dig your nails into his shoulder and moan out his name. it doesn’t take long for you to feel your orgasm building. it had been so long since you actually had an orgasm and it felt as if you were going to explode. jack adds in another finger as his mouth is still latched on to you.

“jac-ck im close” you moan out as you throw your head back against the wall. you legs began shaking uncontrollably but jack placed his free hand firmly below your ass forcing you to stay up and take it. you squeezed your eyes shut as you cum all over his face leaving his beard soaked. any other time you would be embarrassed about the fact it only took you five minutes to cum, but right now you couldn’t care less.

jack stood up giving you a kiss and allowing you to taste yourself all on his lips. he then went in the other room to clean himself off before coming over to do the same to you. he tosses the towel in the hamper before helping you over to the couch.

holy fuck you. you couldn’t believe you had seriously just cheated on your boyfriend but honestly you didn’t regret it one bit.

#jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow blurbs #jack harlow instagram au #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow social media au

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s0sorry · 1 year

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Avatar Shipping VENT/RANT (sorry to be that person)

I know this dead horse has been beaten to hell and back, BUT……I want to say my two cents about Kataang and why it’s so important to me (and why Zutara still gives me the icks to this day). When the show originally aired I was probably eight or nine so romance was the last thing on my mind. I gagged and closed my eyes at every kiss/romantic scene in the show, no bias, I hated every couple. I’m also ashamed to admit that by the third season I didn’t like Katara….like at all.

I didn’t like Katara because she was emotional and it seemed like she cried ALL. THE. TIME. And I behaved very similarly to Toph, I stomped around bare foot, picked my nose, hated girly things and other internalized misogyny and I’m not like other girls shit (those last two things apply to just me not Toph). But I had a lot and I mean A LOT of emotions, and just like Katara I cried all the time, I was angry and hurt and sad, but unlike Katara I was told to stifle those feelings. To cry was to be soft and weak and if I wanted to survive in my house I couldn’t do that. If I cried it was considered a manipulation tactic by my dad, so when I saw Katara reacting to conflict like I did and watched her be rewarded and loved, I hated it. I hated her, but not really.

This all ties back to Kataang and Zutara, I swear.

As I continued to grow up I would rewatch Avatar reruns a lot, but rarely would they show season one episodes. By the time I was 13/14ish (Katara’s age) I had begun dealing with the unwanted attention of boys and men a like and as the oldest of four kids I was expected to be a grown up by the age of 12. I hated it all. I hated taking care of my younger siblings and I hated the way men yelled at me from their cars as I walked home from school, the way senior boys prayed on my best friend when we were freshman. I was supposed to be an adult so young and I was angry, depressed, and so beyond hurt all the time. I still am.

So when I’d go onto the internet as a child and saw overtly sexual pictures of Katara and Zutara I was thoroughly disgusted, but I didn’t know why. (I didn’t even ship Kataang at the time). It all made me uncomfortable and I didn’t know why.

Of course now I know. I was a child looking at a heavily sexualized children. Katara and Zuko are children, something I wouldn’t realize until I watched the show as an adult. And that’s one of many reasons I don’t like Zutara. They’ve always been grossly over sexualized in medias and as a someone who has been grossly sexualized as a child and adult of course I hated it. Now I know not ALL of the fan art of Zutara was sexualized, but still I grew up on the internet in the late 00’s/early 10’s and I didn’t know the ins and outs so I came across a LOT of gross and often p*rnographic art.

As an adult rewatching ATLA Katara is one of my favorite characters. She reminds me of who I use to be, who I could have been…which explains why I hated her when I was younger (I’ve dealt with a lot of self loathing over the years). Rewatching the series on Netflix allowed me to watch all three seasons as many times as I wanted. I’ll never forget rewatching the Boy in the Iceberg and hearing Aang say to Katara the words I desperately needed to hear as a child:

“You still ARE a kid.”

It made me cry. And that’s when my appreciation and love for Kataang grew. I loved watching these two kids journey across the world together and see their relationship develop over the three seasons. The way Aang always viewed Katara in lovestruck awe and the way Katara found hope and happiness in this boy. They were just two kids who cared deeply for each other, they were two kids trying to cling to the little childhood that hadn’t been destroyed by the world around them and they found that in each other. As someone who has always had to men/boys in my life constantly wanted me to be this hyper sexual version of myself, and being someone who was force to grow up too soon, Kataang resonates deeply with me.

They get to just be kids together, because that’s what they are. Kids. This isn’t even really an argument against Zutara (though I could make many arguments against it), it’s more of an argument against how it’s always been portrayed. Katara is a child, Zuko is a child and the only one who seems to remember that is Aang. Zutara has always been based on the sexualization of two children and because of that I can never get behind it.

#atla #just ranting #team avatar #avatar #avatar the last airbender #kataang #pro kataang #aang #katara #zuko #and sorry but I am going to have to drop this tag #anti zutara #it feels weird

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baubeautyandthegeek · 1 year

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Ten Things I Hate About You – Kim Greylek/Casey Novak, Past Kim Greylek/Rafael Barba

A/N: In which I look Canon in the eye and call it bullshit. Written for @adarafaelbarba ‘s Birthday Bingo. (Tagging @storiesofsvu for once since I think you might enjoy this absolute fuckery) Rafael goes back to Rita but Kim makes a better choice of new lover.... (Fills the 10 things I Hate About You Square)

(Gifs Made for me by my boo @notsosecretlyalesbian )

I caught you cheating You had the nerve to say you're sleeping Just not with her, but tell your friends That I'll be lost without you Kim knows as she leaves Rafael’s house this is the last time. His supposed ‘break’ from Rita was a lie, she had always known he’d run back to her but finding them… together… had hurt. So she left and she didn’t look back. And I'll admit it Sometimes I miss when we were in it So I made a list so I never forget All the things I hate about you Casey, of course, finds her at the bar. She’s been hiding away here for years. The one place men just won’t come, but she’s still staring at the mirror and trying to decide if she can forgive herself. She knows who called Casey, the same friends who always tried to be understanding. Serena had been the one this time, she knew from the way Serena slipped closer to order a drink ‘accidentally’ shoving her closer to Casey, almost forcing them inches away from each other. She hesitates, looks away to the mirror again, then tells Casey everything. The softness of Casey’s laugh makes it easier. “Well, we always knew he was an idiot Kim.” Casey’s voice is soft, light almost. Kim had always thought Alex and Casey were a thing, had known they were for a while, but now, now with Casey’s hand against her wrist, she wonders if this is a chance to try something new. “Yeah well, so am I.” Kim mutters, downing the drink in front of her before she can cry, ordering another and looking away when Casey’s gaze gets too much. She hates being like this, hates being in pain in public. Your friends must suck if they think you're cool A sloppy drunk obsessed with his Juul Keep buying bottles with your daddy's money

And I don't know how I fell for your shit You gross me out, now I've got the ick And I've got a list of why you don't get to fuck me Casey is silent as she watches her and Kim finally downs the second drink, grabbing Casey’s hand and pulling her away from the bar through the crowds to the smaller dancefloor, letting herself want this. Casey’s laugh is soft even as she wraps herself around her, soft hands resting at her hips. The photo looks innocent but Kim snaps several more as she and Casey settle into each other, Casey’s grip is a little more possessive this time and Kim shudders when Casey’s lips graze her ear. “His loss.” Ten, you're selfish Nine, you're jaded Eight, the dumbest guy I dated Seven, talk a big game 'til you're naked Only six seconds, and I had to fake it Five, you're toxic Four, can't trust you Three, you still got mommy issues Two years of your bullshit I can't undo One, I hate the fact that you made me love you Later, much later, she’ll send Rafael the photos, drop her phone to the nightstand and seek Casey’s lips, drowning herself in the love she’d always wanted most. Casey’s smirk is soft as they kiss, soft hands stroking over her back again until she shifts to grind into Casey, breathing out the words she never meant to let slip. “Fuck me Casey…” Casey’s laugh is soft even as she moves to do exactly that, four long years of faking it coming apart under Casey’s sure touch and firm fingers. She’s aware of the tears stinging her eyes but when Rafael rings she chooses to ignore it, tangling her hands into Casey’s hair and urging her on. She might hate Rafael but when she’s here, like this, she might just find time to forgive him eventually.

#adarafaelbarbabdaybingo #kim greylek #casey novak #rafael barba #kim/casey #casey/kim #law and order svu #law & order svu #law and order special victims unit #law & order special victims unit #not exactly rafa-hate more just... kim dealing with getting cheated on

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purplesurveys · 7 months

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1752

Who’s the last person you were angry with? My brother for not doing shit around the house.

What was the last video game that you beat? I've never beaten a video game before; I've always been terrible at them haha. I remember taking a shot at a Resident Evil game, but even though my gameplay was set to the easiest available level I still struggled to get past the tutorial stage. I still love video games though and for the most part I enjoy watching walkthroughs – it's just I can never actually play them.

When was the last time you ate Pop Tarts? No idea. It most probably would've been pre-pandemic years.

Have you ever hyperventilated? Yes. Terrible experience.

Have you ever had lice? Yeah when I was like 10. Fortunately it never became a recurring thing because I know other kids had it much worse.

Colored or black-and-white photo? Colored. Never was a big fan of the black and white effect; to me it takes the life out of what the photo could've said.

Do you believe in astrology? Not in the least.

Who did you last give a piggyback ride to? I don't think I've ever given anyone a piggyback ride. It's always been the other way around as I'm quite petite.

Do you like Lady Gaga or does she try too hard? I have never thought of Lady Gaga as a try-hard, even in her earlier years. I always saw her as daring and experimental which I really admired. I especially enjoyed how much she pissed off conservatives and I LOVED seeing the news of all the Christian groups protesting when she came to Manila 13 years to hold a concert haha.

What’s the ugliest trend you’ve ever seen? I think most dance challenges are cringey so there's that. As a whole I think I'm just not the target audience for TikTok, lol.

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I already have two of them. :))

What would you do if you were stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean? Do my best to attract attention, but otherwise be also accepting of my fate. The ocean is a ruthless place so I wouldn't at all be surprised if I don't end up making it.

When was the last time you played Guitar Hero? More than a decade ago.

Where did you last wear a bathing suit? I think it had been in Zambales last December when my family went out for a quick beach trip.

Who did your last notification come from? My sister.

Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse? Tbh I don't mind either way. In my experience, both have been kind and gentle and it's actually female staff who have tended to be frank and judgmental on occasion, so I keep a neutral stance altogether.

Ever cried so much you threw up? A few times, yeah.

Are you completely over your last relationship? I'll feel resentful from time to time but otherwise it barely crosses my mind anymore as I have long moved past it.

Have you ever gone to a beach? Yes.

Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? No.

What do you usually order on a pizza? I always get either the four-cheese or barbecue option. I never get anything else.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? I haven't yet but it's something I frequently think about. I just never have the time to do so. I'd love to volunteer at an NGO for strays.

The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? Yes, I have to. I can bathe without shampoo, but I can never not use conditioner. It's the one thing keeping my hair from being a stiff nest.

Would you ever visit a psychic? Never. Ick.

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? Nope. I don't think I've ever even seen one before.

Has anyone ever called you stuck-up? I don't think so; at least not to my face.

Had sex at school? Within campus grounds, sure.

[TW: ABUSE] Abusive relationship: leave him/her or keep it a secret? Leave is the ideal option of course, but it's never as easy as it sounds.

What recently happened that made you proud of yourself? Drove by myself in a completely unfamiliar route to a completely unfamiliar city. I stick to my usual highways as much as possible but my destination last Wednesday deemed that routine virtually impossible, so I was terrified all morning. But I made it in one piece!

[TW: DRUG OD] Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly? I have never OD'd on anything before and the thought horrifies me. I hope it's something I never experience.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yes.

Have you ever made out on a couch? Sure.

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? I would love to be in the position where it's like, I get an offer for a new job but it doesn't start til like 3-4 months from now, so I get that long a break to just rest in the meantime.

When’s the next time you’ll be drinking? Mid-October at Kaye's birthday party which I'm apparently invited to. She didn't even give me a heads-up haha, she just immediately added me to a groupchat with all the other invitees. Not that I'm complaining about it – the idea sounds very exciting and I'm looking forward to mingle with new faces.

What are you doing on Halloween? No clue.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? There was one time in college where I was, yeah – but at that time, I only drank once I was done with my classes. It's just that I had an org meeting later that day, and it was that meeting I attended partially buzzed. I'd never attend actual classes or a workday drunk.

Do you own any Sims games? Which ones? I'm pretty sure we have one of The Sims games on the PS4 (I may have even been the one who bought it lol I just can't remember??), but I haven't touched it in years.

What are you listening to at the moment? There's faint music playing in the parking lot where I'm currently staying in.

First letter of the names of everyone you have kissed? G.

If you could take back saying anything to anyone, what would it be? Genuinely don't think there's anything. If there's one thing I'm most careful about, it's the words I say. I know what it's like to have cruel words stick to me, so I always filter no matter how pissed I am.

Do you do anything regularly that could damage your body? I've been obsessed with food with considerable fat in it (pork belly, bangus belly, etc) so that worries me a bit. Also, vaping. And having only one meal a day.

When were you the saddest in your life? Directly after my previous relationship ended. I had been in a very rough shape for a few months when that happened, but then I found BTS along the way and they helped me find my footing again.

If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? We all still live together.

Have you been outside today? Yes. I'm at Feliz right now because I volunteered to drive my sister to her Bumble meetup lol – partially as a protective sister, partially as an excuse to be outdoors. I was at Starbucks earlier but felt bored after an hour or so, so I'm now in my car at the parking lot for some quiet time.

Did you know you wanted to be in a relationship with the person you are now when you first met him/her? I'm not with anyone.

Would you rather live in Alaska or New Zealand? New Zealand.

Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? Sure.

What would you do if you walked into your house only to find your boyfriend and your mother making out? I don't have a boyfriend but I imagine this would horrify and piss anyone off? How else am I supposed to feel hahahaha.

What if you found out your partner had a previous sex change? I don't have a partner but if this ever happened, I'd allow myself the time to absorb the shock, and I'd like to think I'll simply have a talk with my partner and be accepting of the update.

Have you ever dated someone in the military? Nope. But I am currently waiting on three men who are currently in service :') :') :')

When’s the next time you’ll have to buy a gift for someone? Pretty soon as it'll be Christmas in three months.

List the last ten people that texted you. That sounds so exhausting. I don't feel like checking my phone now lol sorry.

What color is your favorite eye shadow? I don't like makeup.

What’s your favorite hairstyle on a guy? Whatever it is you call Namjoon's hair at the moment. Buzzcut is it? It looks so neat.

Who was the last person to call you beautiful? No idea, I haven't heard that word in a while.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to Facebook message you? JM.

Do you know how to make origami? No. I've always been terrible at origami.

Who is your hero? I don't really think of anyone in these terms. I find inspiration from certain people, but that's it.

How would you like to be proposed to one day? Never really given that much thought.

When was the last time you saw your brother? Last night.

Is your ex a complete loser? No; badmouthing her, now that's such a loser thing to do tbh. I don't see the point. The relationship ended forever ago and even though I allow myself to harbor resentment every now and then, I don't, like, actively think ill of the person.

What does the shirt you’re wearing look like? It's a white sleeveless top that has a cute polka dot-ish design.

Do you like to cuddle? Sure.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? Nope.

Would your parents disown you if you got pregnant? At this point I don't think they will, but if it happened before marriage I would imagine they would feel majorly disappointed. They wouldn't disown me though.

Any baby names you think you might name your future kids? I have a few favorites but I don't think children are ever going to happen for me.

Think back to your most important relationship, was it all your fault it’s over? No.

Has anyone seen you naked in the last 6 months? Nope.

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woody-thelivingwoods · 1 year

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Post-Sex Yuck

I’ve got that feeling, now, that I think only women get. God, I think all women get it after sex, but I’ve never heard anyone talk about it; we all just know it. H and I took 0.5 grams of mushies she’d picked tonight, drank them with lemon juice, and I tell her that last night I slept with this new guy for the first time. I only expressed happy feelings to her about it. But in a pause, she said – she just knew – she said, “Now’s not the time to let it flip you out.”

It sinks in the next day, usually. You felt great all night, being told how lush you looked and felt, feeling yourself, feeling the moment. The next day, you wake up, feeling pretty fly still – I still got it. You wake up more, catching mirrors and giving yourself little smirks. The smirks started to falter a little at the end though and it sets in. Remembering where his hands were. Seeing his face as his closed his eyes to kiss, and something about it just grosses you out. Thinking about your own space, your air, maybe your bed, and how invaded it was. He can never un-be there. Making my top lip recoil a little just thinking about it – his hands touching everywhere that’s just mine, like he has any claim to it.

When I was at university, I had this feeling after the first time doing anything with who would become my two-year boyfriend. I wrote into this uni-wide anonymous confessions site, asking if anyone else ever felt horribly violated and uncomfortable in their own body after what had seemed like a nice encounter with a ‘male’. After having his hands all over you and wishing you could just scrub it all out and just be yourself again. Like having him there at all changed you?

Turns out he’d seen this, thought it was me who wrote it, and panicked that he’d blown it all. (He never told me this, haha of course not! I found out through an odd connection of friends.) Funny really – in the end, feeling repulsed by him getting near my personal space was the firm proof that I didn’t want to be with him. So he’d been right all along.

It can be really great in the moment. Well, I’ll level with you, I’ve only slept with four people – whoops, five now! – so I don’t have a whole wealth of experience. But this feeling has always been so strong, so profound, I know I’d feel it every time. Fuck all of this really, it’s just ‘the ick’ isn’t it! Old news mate. I dunno, something just doesn’t feel right letting it go so flippantly. That’s so ‘women’: having the most horrible feeling but making a joke out of it and flinging it away to make it more digestible. And yes, I’ve had light conversations with other women, throw-away little jokes and chats about finding dicks yucky after you’ve come and never wanting to see one again. But it’s this deep feeling of being unsettled, invaded, when everything had felt so nice, that I recon loads of us get and just ignore. Maybe I’m just sensitive. Maybe I’m just lucky to feel so happy in my personal space that I can’t bear it being punctured. I’m also lucky that I think this feeling goes away? But now I think of it, I’m not sure. Nothing’s ever as good as it was in your head, and when it comes down to it, I only completely trust myself. No one – especially no man – is every without quirks that make you sick of them. I just see them so early. I just wanna be by myself.

I don’t feel like that most of the time. I’ve been dreaming about sex, even sex with him, the guy from last night, for weeks. Been craving intimacy, I have. And it felt so natural, spooning all night with J.

But H just knew, she knew without me hinting anything, just my body language and the fact that I was a woman who’d had sex with a man that I would be feeling uncomfortable. It’s just that simple. Men can and have been and will be so horrible that sex with one will always be tainted.

Think the shrooms have worn off now, which means it wasn’t just the psilocybin that made my head feel like it was being pumped with too much air every time I think about last night. I don’t think it’s about letting someone else in. I don’t think I have issues with that, I’ve never seemed to. I can’t describe why really, but I just know that touching my breasts feels uncomfortable because they felt like his for an hour and now I want all of his DNA to fuck off out of my hair.

I’m sat in bed with Absolute late nights on, thinking about how my body feels, thinking about sentimentality, how I like my body being my own and hate feeling it slip. Getting high all the time probably isn’t helping – well, you’d think, but in my own way, it’s clever: I’m making this narrative for myself, this baggy-jeans, baggy-shirt, baggy-coat British Jesse Pinkman swagger, tripping on the train, looking into the floor thinking how cool it’d be if there was a camera on me (who do i think i am bloody hell). And so this – the getting fucked, the dressing like shit, the controlled looking like shit – it’s all me controlling exactly how I look and what I do. Reclaiming myself a little. After spending a night being told I’m hot and pretty and cute, I wanna make sure I look like shit.

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ground-zero-idiocies · 2 years

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a bit of cross-fandom pollination today

Every Star Wars Movie, Ranked

Or at least all the ones I want to rank.

11. Attack of the Clones (1/10)

It’s so bad. It’s got Jar Jar. It’s got Hayden Christianson. It’s got unnecessary galactic politics. I hate it.

10. The Phantom Menace (1.5/10)

This is about 1% better then Episode Two but not by much. Jar Jar is annoying. The writing is horrible. The relationship between Ani and the Queen gives me the ick (9 and 14??). The politics are just annoying. I’d rather play Stellaris, any day.

9. Rise of Skywalker (2.5/10)

Is this movie bad? Yes. But does it have a few good parts? Eh? Not really. The action is exciting and the editing is decent, but that’s not enough to save it from the bottom of the list. It’s horrible fluff. It’s nonsensical. It throws the ‘two sith’ rule, which had been very well cemented in canon, completely out the window. It’s just horrible. At least it has a story, which is more then I can say for Episodes One and Two.

8. Solo (4/10)

This movie is nothing if not aggressively mediocre. There’s nothing here and I have nothing to say about it. Also to fit the mobile app’s 10-photo limit, the poster has been removed. It’s not that good anyway.

7. The Last Jedi (4.5)

This movie is over-hated, but it’s easy to see why. It has little respect for canon (fuel???), but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t still a good film. If you were to take it out of the context of Star Wars, it is then a good movie. It’s entertaining and high-action. In context of Star Wars, it relies way to heavily on fan service and just doesn’t hold up to the series’ stronger entries.

6. A New Hope (6/10)

Crucify me, but I don’t think this holds up as well as people think. Yes, it’s been remastered eleven thousand times, but the CG is dated and the dialogue just isn’t as sharp as it would be literally two years later in Episode Five.

5. Revenge of the Sith (6.5/10)

Is this movie cringe as hell? Yes. Of course it is. But the action is tight and the score and sets only accent is. There’s no substance here, but the action is the best in the entire series.

4. Rogue One (7/10)

I would completely understand if someone hated this movie, and the poster isn’t doing it any favors. However, the movie is enjoyable. The emotional moments hit and even the comedy works, which is very rare for a Star Wars film made in the 21st century. Did this movie need to exist? Absolutely not. Am I glad that it does anyway? I am.

3. The Force Awakens (7.5/10)

(sigh). I know that this opinion is objectively wrong. This movie is over-hated, but it’s not too 3, right? I disagree. As much as I’ve dragged the movies in this series, they’re all good in their own ways, and this movie pulls it all together. Yes, there’s fan service. No, it doesn’t really work as a standalone movie. But this is Star Wars. Does it need to?

2. The Empire Strikes Back (9/10)

First of all, let’s just take a minute to appreciate this movie poster. It’s…it’s so good. Uhhhh anyway the movie is really good

1. Return of the Jedi (9.5/10)

I cant say anything that hasn’t already been said. Unlike Episode Four, this movie really holds up. From the action-packed intro to the emotional but sweet conclusion, this movie is a perfect ride. Well, almost perfect, anyway.

#star wars #star wars ranking #the phantom menace #attack of the clones #revenge of the sith #solo #rogue one #a new hope #empire strikes back #return of the jedi #the force awakens #the last jedi #rise of skywalker #cross fandom pollination lol #i’m an idiot #not fallout

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shxxtingstarss · 2 years

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therapy no. 24

I feel horrendous, yet I still have to write this stuff down, otherwise I'm pretty sure I'll forget abt most of it. On another note tho: how tf can I lack (emotional) permanence this badly? Like how is it even possible that yesterday I was 100 % sure about moving out of our shared flat and today I'm sitting here in my friend's apartment (alone) and am crying my eyes out bc I think it's a bad idea, bc I miss my boyfriend (or just human contact/cuddles/someone who can be there for me??idk) and bc I feel like I'm going full crazy.

*tw suicide* why did I f*cking cancel my last suicide attempt four years ago, I would've died if I hadn't gone to the hospital and I wouldn't have to endure this much more of all the pain and suffering and symptoms and conflict and fucking life.

So, yesterday was the last therapy session for this month bc my therapist is gone for 3 weeks (2 weeks of vacation, 1 week of further education). It was a lot better than last week, I could talk and think more clearly. We talked about the whole living-together or moving out thing, he asked what were things or topics that make it hard to live together, I started telling him everything, from the ordinary stuff such as me liking a tidy flat (especially a tidy kitchen and a clean floor etc), to the harder stuff, such as not feeling seen by him (like when I'm talking to him abt something that's important to me and he rarely looks me in the eyes and mostly looks on his phone and even doodles around with it while I'm still talking - even if he listens to me most of the time despite being on the mobile, this feels horrible. My therapist told me there is research on the topic of how we feel not seen or even ignored when there is a mobile just lying next to the human we're talking to, and how it gets worse when that human is holding it in their hand or even looking at it. To me that's crystal clear, my boyfriend didn't want to understand why someone might not like that when I told him about it), feeling misunderstood often, him often shooting down criticism, him being overwhelmed by how bad my mental health is etc up to the point of me feeling like my trust in him has been bruised (e.g. in moments when I didn't want to be touched, told him so and he ignored it bc he wanted a hug or sth?!) and feeling like we're far more apart emotionally than a year or more ago. We also talked about how my boyfriend still is some kind of support for me of course and some kind of stability in my life (my therapist made kind of a joke at that point about how my boyfriend gives me security by making me feel like I have to ask him if it's okay to buy this or that...yeah). And because I fear our relationship might get worse by moving out and might end soon, thinking about that security thing made me feel like I'm in free fall. This is not fun. Not. At. All. It's terrifying.

I also told him about the few hours last week where I felt like I had something as a gut feeling, and that feeling told me to try it. To move out. Because the way it is now it's already horrible enough - I'm currently living in the empty flat of a friend bc that friend is on vacation, and I feel so much more at peace when without my boyfriend around. I still feel horrible, depressed, confused, sometimes agitated, but way less strung and agitated and scared than when I'm back with my boyfriend (went to our shared flat two times this week, only for a few hours, but I got incredibly nervous nevertheless). Do you know about that saying that states that our noses are better than we give them credit for and that attraction also has a lot to do with scent? Well, last time I ended a relationship I couldn't stand the scent of my ex-girlfriend the last weeks before the breakup, I hated her scent and how her breath smelled etc, and I experience the exact same odour and hate and "eww" again now. I don't know if that's bullshit, but even if it is, I hate that scent. It gives me a super-ick. I like the German phrase for this: "Sich gegenseitig (nicht) riechen können".

The problem of feeling like I have no security in life, no social web to fall into whatsoever, can also make me spiral into suicidal thoughts really badly. I had a suicidal crisis of two days last week (and told my therapist about it) and am def thinking about it a lot today. But I'm trying really hard to not let this escalate, seems to work atm, almost didn't work anymore last week, so yeah, it's really not going great.

We've also talked about how I feel like I can't trust my perception and my feelings most of the time, I just thought maybe that's because these can change radically sometimes, but maybe it's the other way around, maybe they just change because I'm constantly doubting them and every other aspect of myself. Well, at least it seems as if it isn't all black-or-white, or not anymore, he mentioned that I like to judghe and sometimes hate myself for that type of thinking, but he highlighted just a few cases of where I definitely had nuances and shades of grey in my thinking.

Close to the end of the session, he kind of asked me the same thing maurice pointed out a few days ago - that it might be good to ask myself what I get from Fabrizio as my partner, what he as a partner is doing good for me. Great moment to think about this now (not), when I texted him earlier to see if he was still awake and he texted me that he's gonna take a shower, I texted back and told him to have a good shower and went on with my breakdown (I wanted to reach out to him and maybe drive back to the shared flat bc I felt so horribly bad) and he texted "what's wrong?" but I didn't see that bc I was crying and not on my phone. Kept on crying and when I got back to my phone 15 mins later, I saw the text + "misses?" + "otay I sweeps now", which made me tear up now bc I felt like he didn't even really care, if I was worried for him and he didn't text me back, I'd call him. I'm pretty sure he knows me well enough to know that I didn't feel so great, and it shows in his messages, just not in his effort to care. I'll still have a lot to think about, this relationship in general probably, and the moving out thing too, even though I was so sure abt it until today. Ugh, life's going... great.

I mean it's nice that I can see bad things about other ppl and not just about me, but it can also be hella confusing and destabilizing, especially when you've basically build your whole current existence/"life" around one person and have to realize that not everything is perfect about that person/relationship, in fact it seems like nothing about this relationship is perfect.

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heartache-onthebigscreen · 2 years

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the ick - lrh

pairing: luke hemmings x fem!reader

summary: you, having recently gotten out of a long-term relationship, have started going out, partying, and going home with other guys as a coping mechanism. luke, being one of your close friends and roommate, doesn’t quite approve of this behavior.

warnings: cursing, slight angst, mentions of sex, alcohol.

word count: 4.1k+

*not my gif*

Luke leans back into the couch, clutching his acoustic guitar as he anxiously strums the chords. He’s been doing this for at least four hours now, waiting for his best friend, YN, to come home.

There were nights where he’d give up and just go to bed, figuring she’d gone off to sleep over at some guy's house. He knew she would be back in the morning, doing the walk of shame as she steps through the front door, holding her heels with the straps of her dress loosely hanging on her shoulders.

He knew she’d been having a rough time after her recent breakup. She and her ex had been together for almost two years, they even lived together. They had plans to get married, have kids, the whole thing. Luke never really liked him though, he had to refrain from skipping around the house and cheering when she had shown up at his doorstep one night holding an overnight bag.

Luke didn’t like how her ex critiqued YN’s every move. How he would tell her to change because she looked too slutty. How he would constantly undermine her abilities and the job she had. He was a real tool, and Luke is glad that it finally ended. He just hated how it made her feel.

That night she showed up at the doorstep, it was about three AM. It was pouring rain and she was dressed in Luke’s hoodie and a pair of loose sweatpants. She carried a thick backpack on her shoulders and her face was tear-stained and puffy from crying.

Luke took no time letting her in the warmth of his home. He let her cry, drink, whatever helped her feel better. Once she explained what happened, sure, he felt bad for her. But he was dancing on the inside.

She was finally single. He could finally start flirting and showing hints, ultimately leading up to him confessing the heart-wrenching crush he’s had on her for years.

Or so he thought.

Once Luke had let YN move in with him, she started going nuts. Almost manic. She started going out every night, and if she didn’t go out, there was a party at home. She was always at a bar, drinking everything away. She’d end up at clubs, house parties, and any guy she found slightly cute she’d end up going home with.

She’d had too many one-night stands to even count. She’s come home and talked about them, only to conclude that the random guy she’d slept with gave her an “ick.” Meaning, she was generally disgusted by the men and didn’t want to see them again.

One guy’s hair was too greasy. Another claimed to be an alpha male. Too skinny. Long beard. Skinny dick. Short dick. Called his mom after sex. Lived with his mom. The list could go on and on.

Luke hates that she’s coping this way, he’d never planned on saying anything though. He didn’t want to upset his precious YN, she’s going through so much right now. Her entire life just crashed right in front of her, it’s normal to go a little nuts.

He can’t help but be jealous, just a little bit.

Part of him wishes she’d use him, kiss him, have sex with him, whatever she wanted to do to cope and get over her ex-boyfriend. He didn’t care if it would mean nothing to her, he would take what he can get.

But again, every guy YN has been with had ended with her being disgusted. That’s the last thing Luke wanted. He didn’t want to give her an ick.

Luke glances at his phone, the time now reading four AM. He sets his guitar down and picks up his phone, bringing up YN’s contact. He checks her location for what seems like the millionth time tonight.

It wasn’t a controlling thing, he just wanted to make sure she was safe while she was out at night.

The little dot on the map shows that she’s pretty close to home, it gets closer by the second as Luke stares at the screen.

A few moments pass by, and once the dot lands right in front of the house, Luke locks his phone and grabs his guitar, waiting for YN to walk into the house. He didn’t want her to know that he’s been watching her move for the last few minutes.

On cue, YN bursts through the front door, slightly giggling as she stumbles into the open living room. She’s holding her heels, her hair is frizzy and messy from whatever she was doing tonight. Her top sits loosely on her person. She looks like a wreck.

She’s fully aware she looks like an absolute train wreck right now. She wipes under her eyes at the smudged mascara after she drops her heels to the floor. Her eyes scan the, rather blurry room to land on Luke, still holding his guitar as his eyes are trained on her.

“Aw, you’re so sweet!” YN slurs, “you didn’t have to wait for me!”

Luke keeps a straight face, taking in her presence. She’s obviously been making out with someone, her lipstick is smudged and her hair is knotted. And it seemed like she wasn’t wearing a bra.

She was definitely wearing one before she left.

“Had to make sure m’girl was alright,” Luke finally responds. His voice stays low as he keeps his temper neutral.

He loves her. He loves her so much and hates to see her like this. It makes him so angry, angry at her ex for turning her into this mess. Angry at himself for not being able to help her and being so jealous of every man she slept with. And he doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s angry at YN. He loves her so much it makes him angry that she’s treating herself like this.

“You know I’m alright,” YN sighs as she scratches the back of her head, “m’tired. Think I’m gonna just go to bed.” She giggles lightly, still a bit tipsy from the drinking tonight.

“Should shower and take off ya makeup,” Luke comments, knowing she’d probably just go crash in what she was wearing, “don’t wanna feel gross in the morning.”

“Luke,” YN whines. She was much too tired to even begin to actually take care of herself like she should. It’s not like she did when she was at another guys’ house, why should it matter now? She’d just get up in the morning, shower, and start over. “I’m tired.” She repeats.

Luke’s heart flutters at the sound of his name, making him silently curse himself for having such a reaction to a simple thing. “Gotta, YN,” Luke orders her.

“Do it for me?” YN perks her voice up while puckering her bottom lip out, knowing Luke could never say no to her. She knows the effect she has on her best friend, Luke would do just about anything for her.

“I’ll get your makeup off and run you a bath, but I’m not helping you bathe,” Luke rolls his eyes with a light chuckle. He stands up from the couch and sets his guitar on the stand by the couch. He walks over to her as she sways in the doorway. He grabs her hand and leads her upstairs and into her room.

She giggles to herself as Luke leads her. She loves her Luke. Her best friend, he’s been there for her through everything. She couldn’t imagine a life without him.

One of the reasons she actually came home tonight was because she feels shitty for not spending much time with him. But, she got caught up with making out with some dude at the bar. She was about to text Luke to tell him she wouldn’t be home tonight, but then, the bar dude gave her an ick.

He started yelling very loudly at one of the sports games playing on the television.

Gross.

She gave the man an excuse, and got an Uber home to see her best friend.

She was half expecting him to be passed out at the kitchen table or the couch, like he usually is when he waits up for her.

It makes her guilty, knowing he stays up so late for her. She ends up waking him up and taking his sleepy and grumpy body to bed. She’d profusely give him apologies he doesn’t even remember in the morning because he was half asleep.

But, she’s happy that he’s awake tonight. Even if the time spent is short-lived with him.

“Sit,” Luke orders YN to sit down on her bed. He grabs a pack of makeup wipes off her nightstand and stands between her legs. He takes a wipe out of the pack and throws the pack down on the bed. He takes her chin to lift it so he can get a good look at her face.

She’s exhausted. Luke knows she is, though she’d never admit it. Her eyes lack emotion and her dark bags are heavily covered with concealer. Her entire face is puffy and her eyes are bloodshot. Something he had noticed about her whenever she’s tired.

Luke gently wipes the makeup up her face. Starting with her cheeks, knowing to wipe upwards, because she’s fussed at him about it before.

He giggles to himself at the thought, she’d ranted about the importance of skincare after, which ultimately ended up in him putting on a face mask with her.

Luke gently wipes at her eyes, trying his best to remove the mascara and eyeliner. Then her eyebrows, then to her lips.

He lingers as he gets the smudged lipstick off. Silently wishing he was the one who smudged her lipstick. He looks at her soft, plump lips as he wipes the red off of them. Leaving them looking a bit swollen.

So kissable.

Luke shakes the thought and throws the wipe into a nearby trash can.

“I’ll go run ya bath,” Luke tells YN as he reluctantly removes himself from between her legs, disappearing into her bathroom.

Once he’s gone, YN begins to strip. She’s still drunk enough not to care that her best friend will see her naked. She has no shame, she’s comfortable and trusts him.

Once she rids herself of all clothing, she walks into the bathroom, holding her arms across her chest. She sees Luke sitting on the edge of the tub, checking the temperature of the water. He hums to himself as he does so, some random melody she’s sure she’ll hear in one of his songs.

He doesn’t notice her standing in the doorway yet. He’s too focused on finding the right body wash to mix into the bath. He doesn’t remember the name of the scent he likes best on her, so he takes his time smelling each bottle until he finds the right one.

He finally finds it, then squeezes a generous amount into the tub, creating a mountain of bubbles.

He then takes some bath salts and sprinkles them in the tub as well.

YN just continues to watch Luke with a smile on her face, she becomes so entranced with his focused movement.

He just wants to make sure everything is perfect for her, he believes she deserves nothing but the best.

Luke stands up to grab a candle from the sink and light it. He turns around and his eyes finally land on YN, making him drop the candle.

“God- shit! YN!” Luke curses. He shields his eyes from her body as he blindly tries to pick up the candle, which now has a slight crack in it.

YN lets out a drunken cackle, “what? Never seen a naked woman before?” She teases as she walks further into the bathroom. She steps into the tub and submerges herself into the warm water. She uses her foot to turn off the water and Luke continues to curse under his breath as he lights the candle.

He feels his face become warm and red as he thinks about the glimpse of YN’s body he just saw. He lets his mind wander into different scenarios where she would be naked in front of him.

He hates that he thinks about his best friend in such ways.

YN continues to giggle to herself, knowing she’s flustered her best friend.

“A fuckin’ warnin’ next time, hm?” Luke finally laughs with her.

“Sorry,” YN giggles, “you’re just fun to watch. You’re cute,” her drunken state gets the best of her as she compliments her best friend, “you’re really too good to me. You really take care of me, Luke. I feel bad because I’m rarely ever there for you.” She begins to play with the bubbles in her bath.

Luke sits on the edge of the tub, “y’know I love takin’ care of you, YN,” he admits, “you don’t need to feel guilty. I just wish you’d take care of yourself a bit better."

“What do you mean?” YN’s brows furrow as she mulls over the words Luke just said to her.

She thinks she takes care of herself just fine. As long as she’s doing something, or someone, she’s fine.

Just, fine.

“YN, c’mon,” Luke begins to feel the anger he’s been hiding build in his blood. He knows he shouldn’t say anything…but he wants to see a change. “You go out and drink, every single night. Hell, it’s fuckin’ what? Four AM on a Monday and you’re just now getting home? I don’t remember the last time I saw you eat a full meal, or drink water…m’worried about you.”

“I’m fine, Luke.” YN argues, “I don’t need you to tell me-“

“Kay, whatever,” Luke scoffs and stands up. He goes to leave the bathroom, but YN grabs his arm.

Luke closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to be around her right now. He can’t argue with her about this. If she doesn’t see that she’s truly not taking care of herself, he can’t do much about that. There’s no use of helping someone who doesn’t want to be helped.

“I wasn’t done,” YN says. “I don’t get why you’re getting so mad at me. I’m alive, I’m in one piece. I’m here with you, what’s the issue?”

“YN, you’re drunk. I’m not talking to you about this when you’re not sober. Which basically means we’ll never fucking talk about it,” Luke mutters under his breath and tries to leave once more, but YN keeps a surprisingly strong grip on his arm.

“Well I’m pretty fucking sober now!” YN snaps, “that was unnecessary.”

“No, YN, what’s unnecessary is-“ Luke tucks his lips in, his kind running in circles while he does his best to not explode in her face.

He feels as he has no right to criticize YN’s actions in her life, he doesn’t want to, because he’d feel like her ex.

But, he’s just looking after her, right?

Meanwhile, YN is fuming. Luke shouldn’t comment on how she decides to live her own life. So what? She’s just letting loose, enjoying her freedom of being single.

Drowning out the pain with alcohol. Sleeping with men, trying to get over the ex that completely shattered her world.

Ignoring her basic body needs, using the physical pain to distract her from her emotional pain.

It’s completely fine.

…Right?

“What’s unnecessary, Luke?” YN narrows her eyes, “the fact that I’m just simply living my life? You’re not my fucking dad, I can do what I want.” She pushes away the thoughts of her unhealthy coping mechanisms, trying to stand her ground.

“Yes, I completely agree with you,” Luke lets out a long breath as he nods. He runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek, “you can do what you want. I’m not stopping you. It’s just…frustrating to see you destroy yourself when you aren’t even realizing what you’re actually doing.”

“I’m not…” YN begins to argue, becoming stubborn. But she can’t find a rebuttal. She knows Luke is right, she just doesn’t want to admit the constant emotional pain she endures.

I mean, it’s been so long since the breakup. She rarely even thinks about her ex anymore. It’s just..the lingering damage. The trauma. She’s lost now.

She should surely be over all that by now, it’d be embarrassing to admit that she’s still struggling.

“I’m okay, really.” YN lies.

“Lovey,” Luke sighs as he scans YN’s face. Her eyes begin to gloss over, against her own will. “It’s okay not to be okay, y’know that?”

Luke’s tense body finally relaxes and YN releases her grip on his arm. He sits back down on the edge of the tub once more. He reaches over to push her slightly damp hair out of her face. He then takes her chin so he’s looking into her eyes.

“I’m tired,” YN finally admits.

“I know,” Luke furrows his brow, “why don’t you just finish your bath and-“

“No, Luke,” YN bursts into tears. Luke is taken aback by this, he hadn’t seen her cry since she first came over here.

She never likes to show her emotions, she thinks she has to seem okay and be strong. The night she came to Luke was a vulnerable time for her, she regrets crying in front of him like that.

But here she is, sobbing so aggressively she feels like she’s going to throw up, “I’m tired,” YN repeats, “I can’t do this anymore! I try so hard to just ignore everything and make it go away! But it doesn’t! It hurts! I’m tired! I can’t! I can’t! I can’t!” She begins to choke on her sobs as she tries to catch her breath.

Without a word, Luke stands and starts to take off his clothes, he leaves his boxers on and climbs into the tub with YN.

He doesn’t care that she’s naked. He doesn’t care that he’s possibly crossing a boundary. He wants to comfort his YN, now that she’s finally letting her walls down.

He nudges her back up as she continues to cry, he sits behind her so she’s in between his legs. He’s careful not to touch her in the wrong places, so he opts for wrapping his arm around her waist to pull her to his back and using his free hand to wipe the tears away as she leans her head back onto his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” YN sniffles.

“Don’t apologize,” Luke soothes, “it’s okay to feel. You gotta in order to get over something.” He sighs, “is it him? You miss him?” He reluctantly asks.

“No! No! I haven’t even thought about him!” YN wipes her face, “it just fucked me up! Y’know? I don’t know how to explain it, I just…I don’t know.” She pouts as she tried to put her feelings into words.

“Well, good. He’s a piece of shit, you shouldn’t miss him,” Luke giggles, trying to get his YN to laugh, “I mean, the bloke wore sunglasses on the back of his head, you’d think that woulda gave you that ick you’ve been talkin’ about.”

YN giggles as she tries to hold back her cries.

“And I do get it, you’re gonna be a little fucked up for a while, I hate to say it. But you don’t need to make it so much worse, try to drink a little less, be home a little more, for me?” Luke pleads.

YN nods her head, knowing she needs to clean up her act and grow the fuck up. She knows she couldn’t even count the amount of men she’s hooked up with on her fingers.

She sees herself as a bit of a whore, really.

Her mind fills with regret and hatred towards herself. Why did she throw herself around like that? What in her right mind made her think drinking herself into oblivion and fucking anything with a dick was okay?

“God, I’m a slut!” YN’s cries turn into pained laughter, “seriously! How do I not have an STD right now?”

Luke laughs with her, “well, I wasn’t going to say it.”

“Hey!” YN brings her hand out the water to playfully slap Luke’s cheek.

YN suddenly becomes very conscious that she is in fact, naked as Luke holds her. She notes that he has stayed very still, careful not to make her uncomfortable in any way.

She’d usually be so insecure, but Luke has not crossed any boundaries, and he’s doing nothing but comforting her.

She can’t help but tense up a little, though.

“What?” Luke murmurs, “you uncomfortable?” Panic starts to rise in his voice, “I can get out, m’sorry I didn’t-“

“No!” YN quickly protests, “you’re fine. Don’t leave, please.”

Luke relaxes, as does YN.

Butterflies form in Luke’s stomach, he’s so, so aware of every inch in her body. He loves that she feels comfortable with him like this.

It sucks that she only sees this platonically.

A thought crosses YN’s head, one of the thoughts that has crossed her mind many times before. What if she kissed Luke? What if she hooked up with Luke?

She’d always felt drawn to her best friend in one way or another, but this way, she pushed deep, deep down. She’d never want to ruin what they already head, plus, she thinks he only sees this platonically. They’re just super close.

The worst of her clouds her mind though. She releases her stress through sex, a fatal flaw she sees in herself. She didn’t hook up from that guy at the bar, so she feels a bit needy right now.

But she just agreed to stop that to Luke.

But what if Luke was the hookup?

No, no, it’s too awkward.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Luke hums and begins to run his fingers through her hair.

“Sex,” she replies, honestly.

This earns a laugh from Luke, “didn’t get any tonight, eh? Thought by that lipstick you at least gave some head.”

Luke jokes, but on the inside he is fuming with jealousy.

“Nah, he gave me an ick.”

“What was it this time?” Luke asks.

“Yelled at a sports game,” YN giggles, “I left so fast.”

Luke just laughs, he finds it adorable that such little things can turn her off so quickly.

His laughter quickly dies when he suddenly becomes insecure.

“What?” YN tilts her head to actually look at Luke. He looks down at her with his curls falling over his forehead. The blue in his eyes is nearly gone, his pupils are dilated with adoration as he looks at her.

“Do I…” Luke shyly begins to speak, “Do I give you any icks?”

YN turns her head in thought, trying to rack her brain for anything about Luke she finds as a turn off or annoying.

There’s nothing, though.

Absolutely nothing.

“No, you’re perfect,” YN smiles. As she looks at Luke, their faces are extremely close together, breathing in each other’s air.

A faint blush tints Luke’s cheeks as he shows a dimpled grin.

“So, hypothetically,” Luke begins in a low rasp, “if I was one of your flings, you’d call me the next day?”

YN nods her head, “yes, hypothetically.”

“Hypothetically.” Luke agrees.

They stare at each other once more, tension filling the air as their breathing increases.

YN feels her body heat up at the thought of kissing Luke. The way he’s holding her vulnerable, naked body isn’t helping either.

Was the getaway from her issues she was looking for all along, right in front of her?

Luke’s mind is completely blank as his eyes flicker to YN’s lips.

They both suck in a deep breath and crash their lips together. Luke finally moves his arm from around her waist and trails his hand up to her neck to angle her head.

As the kiss heats up, YN turns her body around to straddle Luke in the tub, somehow not breaking contact in the process.

They kiss with so much heat and aggression. There isn’t any time for air. Their hands travel every heated inch of their bodies.

To the both of them, this felt so right. This was meant to be.

This feeling for Luke is quite new to YN, she hadn’t really thought about her attraction to him. It’s no doubt Luke is very attractive and probably the sweetest man she’s ever met. Like she thought before, she’d always been drawn to him, she was just never sure in what exact way.

She knows now.

Luke had been waiting for this moment since the moment he met YN, and he wants nothing more than just her right now.

“It’s,” Luke finally breaks the kiss and pants as YN begins to kiss every part of his face and neck, “late. We should get dried off and go to bed.”

Luke can’t help but let out a whine as YN’s teeth begin to sink into the base of his neck, he grabs her hips and uncontrollably bucks his hips up to meet hers, making her moan at the contact.

“You’re thinkin’ about sleep right now?” YN breathes out.

“Oh, baby,” Luke smirks, “who said we were sleeping?”

#i have no clue why this took so long to write #but i really kinda like this one #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #luke hemmings blurb #5sos #luke hemming imagines #luke hemmings fanfic #5 seconds of summer blurb #luke hemmings angst #luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings x you #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings blurbs #luke hemmings imagine

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pjisskullourful · 2 years

Text

. . . . . ╰──╮𝕘𝕒𝕪 𝕖𝕟𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙╭──╯ . . . . .

🌈Damiano × Ethan × reader

OFFICIAL[UNEXPECTED] CHAPTER4--- directly follows on from part3

NSFW! 🔥 smut of the kinkiest filthiest degree dirrrty-talkin unashamedly sexy sexytimes

° Damiano David & Ethan Torchio & female reader insert [throuple style]

° "we figured that this, all three of us together, it works so well. Too well for us to put an end to it. So what if you were a dork with us and we made this power of three exclusive?” - 4 months later, still thriving on love, respect & trust, even through unexpected revelations in the unconventional relationship & unsolicited opinions from outsiders

wordcount: 19,599

° shoutsout: @superchrystaldrug for requesting this whole concept 💋 @filthforfriends for putting shibari-extraordinaire ethan into my head 💋 @simp-per-ethan for insisting i bring it into existence 💋

“Maybe we should go, I think it’s time to call it a day. If I haven’t been struck by inspiration yet, I don’t think it’s gonna happen at all.”

You had barely finished speaking when you yelped, jumping forward, instantly needing to get away from an unexpected sensation against the small of your back. You spun around, seeking to find the source of the brief buzzing.

You shouldn’t have been surprised to find Damiano standing behind you, a bright orange personal massager in hand. He was still wearing that devious smile that had been on his face since taking the first step into the adult toy store.

He feigned innocence, turning the vibrator off. “What? Just trying to strike you with some inspiration.”

The wiggling dance of his eyebrows was cut short when you snatched the toy out of his grasp. “This is officially the worst idea I’ve ever had.”

“Which part - the offering to throw your big sister's bachelorette party? Or bringing us to help with the supplies?”

You had been desperate to get in on any part of planning your sister’s wedding. You felt the responsibility to step in for all of the family members who wanted absolutely nothing to do with the event. Nadia’s fiancé had accepting parents who were going to be sitting in the front row for the momentous day. Nadia had been left to ask one of her guy friends to walk her down the aisle, to fill the absence of any support from your father.

You had probably been too eager, agreeing to everything Nadia and her maid of honour had offered you. It hadn’t been until you were driving home from the café that the awkward reality had dawned upon you - planning your sister’s last night of debauchery before she dedicated the rest of her life to one sexual partner.

All of the bachelorette parties you had attended had been a lot of shameless fun (you still had a couple of penis-shaped straws, acquired on these wild nights). And you couldn’t stand the thought of hosting a lacklustre party for your sister, no matter the theme.

You had gone to Ethan to panic first - your boyfriend of only four months, he had somehow known exactly how to calm you down. He kept your vape cartridge topped up, letting you vent yourself into a better, clearer headspace. When you had run out of words, he had reassured you that this task could be conquered. He had immediately opened Pinterest, promising you that he would help you take the ick factor out of this process as much as possible.

Damiano had been very proactive, seeing absolutely no reason why you couldn’t throw the perfect hens night. In fact, he had known exactly which shop to suggest in your hunt for supplies.

That was how the three of you had ended up at Gattino Cattivo, strolling through the many aisles of the adult store, a basket in your hand.

But there was a pitifully small amount of items held in the shopping basket (a banner and a badge both reading bride to be, a pack of gummy boobs in all flavours, a deck of naughty dare scratch cards). Damiano had been running all through the sections, as enthusiastic as a child in a candy store.

After almost two hours of wandering through the unfamiliar store, your current mood was the exact opposite of Damiano’s. You couldn’t be feeling any less encouraged - planning this party now felt even more difficult.

“All of it.” You said, pushing your hair out of your face as you huffed out an exasperated sigh. “I get why you thought it would be a good idea to come here, this is probably our best shot of getting anything, but- shit, what do you even get a lesbian from a shop like this? Literally, everything is just penis.” You started to point at the shelves and racks around you. “Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis.”

He maintained his good-humoured smile. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

You let your shoulders drop. “I’m not having fun, Daddy.”

He moved closer, cupping your face in his hands and guiding your head back so you would meet his eyes. “I know, and it’s frustrating, but it’s not like we’ve accomplished nothing. Gummy boobs.” He snatched up the bag of candy. “Gummies in the shape of boobs. Hello, are you seeing this? This is the coolest party favour ever. What else do you need for a lesbians’ hens night?”

“What else do you need in life?” You asked, smiling.

“I can’t think of anything better.” He said and kissed you quickly, keeping his nose against yours - giving you a moment to collect yourself, an anchor to save you from spiralling off into your emotions. “It’s a start, baby. And we have so much time, we can order online. We have so much time to get creative - between the three of us, we are gonna be able to cook up something great, something sexy.

“But not too sexy. Maybe Ethan has found something good. Where did he go?”

“Uh, I dunno.”

“You lost my boyfriend?” Damiano asked dramatically.

“He’s my boyfriend too.”

Damiano sprang up onto his tip-toes, trying to get a clearer view of your surroundings. “He’s never been in a shop like this before, his head might explode. He has, like, three toys at his place, three. And one of them I had to buy for him.”

You rolled your eyes as you followed after him. “Maybe he left a breadcrumb trail for us to follow.”

You happened upon Ethan in an aisle that had a sickly sweet scent hanging over it. He was seated on the ground before some shelves, quietly inspecting boxes of all different sizes.

He had his back to where you approached, allowing you and Damiano to observe him. There was something about this sight that brought a smile to your face - it was unexpected, but at once it was perfectly Ethan.

“How does he do it?” You whispered. “How does he stay so cute and pure- even when he’s studying a bunch of bottles of lube?”

“He’s wearing a harness.”

Your eyes grew wide as you spotted the thick red straps now worked around his torso. “Where did he…? He just found that and popped it on, did he?”

“Wait here.” Damiano whispered. “I have an idea.”

You didn’t bother pondering on what kind of perverted plan he was dreaming up, the realm of possibilities for that was practically endless. You just watched Ethan as he obliviously went about this solo task. You were willing to concede that this outing hadn’t been a complete waste of time - the enthusiasm of both your boyfriends was very endearing, and observing this was far better than washing dirty dishes, as Bert had been insisting you do.

Damiano reappeared at your side, showing you the leash now in his hands. “Let’s see how pure and cute our boyfriend really is… I’ll distract him and you can hook this onto the harness.”

You licked your lips as you accepted the accessory from him, testing the closure and how quickly it could be snapped shut. “After you…”

He grinned and began towards the unsuspecting man. “Excuse me, sir…” Ethan instantly looked up. “Do you know where they keep the size extra extra extra extra extra extra extra…” Damiano paused, theatrically taking in a deep breath. “...extra large condoms?”

Ethan shook his head a little as Damiano crouched down beside him. “Sorry, bro. I wouldn’t know where to find those, ‘cause I only ever buy the extra extra extra extra extra extra extra…” You attempted to keep track, counting these out on your fingers. “...extra extra large.”

Damiano placed himself in front of Ethan, trying to distract him by playing with his hair. “What kind of trouble have you been getting into?”

“No trouble, I actually found something that could be good…” He glanced in your direction, smiling as you crouched down behind him. “Hey baby, tell me what you think of this…” You nodded attentively, meanwhile wrapping your arms around him (the leash concealed in your left hand). “I think it’s classy, but still sexy enough to be handed out at a hens party…”

He held up the box for you to read the gold cursive. “It’s a candle but it’s also massage oil, so as it melts- ooh sexy oil, for sexy rubbing, right? Or it can just be a fancy-looking candle.”

“That’s cool.” You said, kissing him on the cheek as you hooked a finger through the o-ring at the centre of his chest. “We should get some for us…”

“Yeah.” Damiano said, opening a box and taking a deep inhale. “Strawberry and champagne, that’s nice- don’t you think, love?”

As soon as Ethan’s head was bowed to sniff, your thumb depressing the latch until the closure was opened. You attached the leash to the harness, tipping a wink to Damiano.

“Yeah, that one is nice. Does your sister like strawberries?” Ethan asked.

“Um…”

“Salted caramel, that’s what I’m talking about.” Damiano said, leaning forward to offer the candle for you to smell. “How about that one?”

He placed the candle under your nose, sliding his other hand over to where Ethan’s knee was resting. You moved your hand to overlap Damiano’s, which he twisted, manipulating the length of the leash into his own hand. He winked back at you.

“Maybe something spicier for us.” You said.

Ethan clicked his fingers in front of Damiano’s face, then in yours. “For your sister though, I was thinking Nadia gets the big one and then these smaller sizes as party favours for the rest. Classy, no?”

“It’s a really nice idea.” You said. “I think they’ll like it a lot. But how do we pick out which scents for-”

“Excuse me, do you need help finding something?” An unfamiliar voice asked.

You jumped to your feet, having instant flashbacks to being chased out of Ikea. “Sorry, we were just trying to-”

“We’re fine, thanks.” Ethan said, getting up. “Picking what we need, we’ll give a shout if we- oof…” His movements halted when the leash was pulled taut and he stumbled half a step. He looked down to where Damiano waved to him. “Sonofa- how?”

“Sorry, you just look so good in that harness.” Damiano said.

“You really do, like, you look too good. We have to buy this.” You said.

“Yeah, okay.” Ethan smiled at you.

Damiano lifted the basket out of Ethan’s hand. “What else did you get your grubby hands on? Ooh, hello…” He pulled out a purple penis-shaped lollipop.

You put a hand over your mouth, trying to contain a laugh. You couldn’t help a snort slipping out, causing both of them to look your way. “Sorry, I just had a very inappropriate thought pop into my head. But it’s… I’m not gonna say it.”

“I should hope not.” Damiano said. “Could you imagine the scene that would cause here, in this sex toy shop?”

“Well now you have to say it…” Ethan encouraged.

You laughed a little again. “I was wondering if that was modelled after, but obviously not to scale, the dick of Barney the dinosaur.”

“Oh yeah, fuck me back to prehistoric times with that dino-dick daddy.” He said as Damiano dissolved into fits of laughter.

“And when we get back there - even though religion hasn’t been invented yet, I’m gonna make you see God.” You said, doing your best to keep a straight face as you stared Ethan down.

He chuckled a little, fanning himself with a hand. “Great, let’s go.”

Damiano was twirling the candy around in one hand. “So this one you want, but when I offered you the candy ball-gag- oh, that just wasn’t good enough for you?”

“Candy ball-gag?” You repeated, unsure of when you had missed that interaction.

“Yeah, they’re wasteful. One use and that’s it? And that’s even if you want to eat the candy after having it in your mouth for so long, if you aren’t physically sick from the taste.” Ethan said.

“In theory- they sound cute. But we would definitely need something far stronger to keep that one quiet.” You said, pointing to Damiano. “You’d be silenced for about two seconds.”

“Literally, he’d chew through it so fast ‘cause he thought up, like, a hundred things to say.” Ethan said and snatched his sugary treat back. “And I grabbed this because it’s grape, which happens to be my favourite. And, I love sucking cock, so it works on both levels.”

You had inched closer to peer into his basket. “What else did you find?”

“Nothing, really. Well, nothing for your sister, at least. Something for me, or us, I guess.” He picked up the largest package in his basket. “Only if you guys are game.”

You read the label, only able to think up vague possibilities of what it could be used for. Spreader bar, it boasted being adjustable - up to twenty-six inches. At the moment it looked like three separate black rods and you wondered if thinking that it went between your ankles was the too obvious answer, the too vanilla answer.

“Spread her? I hardly know her.” Damiano joked.

“Not just spreading her.” Ethan tapped Damiano’s forehead with the bars. “I don’t know how sturdy it’ll be and the locks probably aren’t all that reliable, but it could be fun. What do you think, avida?”

“I’ve actually never…” You cleared your throat, wanting to hide your naivety. “I’ve never seen one of those, it spreads…”

“Legs.” Damiano said.

“Oh, oh. Yeah, that could be fun.” You smiled, bouncing up a bit taller.

“I’m gonna go ask if we can work out some kind of deal for a discount if we buy heaps of candles.”

Ethan didn’t get very far before the slack of the leash ran out, keeping him tethered to Damiano. Ethan sighed, looking back at the laughing man.

Damiano released his hand from the other end. “Sorry.”

“Okay, are there any things you saw, but didn’t mention before?” You asked. “You have the floor- wow me, Mr David.”

He took a moment to centre himself and you prepared yourself for a spectacular, completely unique idea. “Pottery.”

“Pottery?”

“Erotic pottery.” He said and you nodded, now understanding how this idea fit in with the rest of the filth littering his brain. “They take a class, they have some wine, maybe they start re-enacting that bit from Ghost. But just the pottery, not the sexytimes that immediately follow. Unless they really want to, I’m not here to judge. What happens at hens night is between the hens, it’s not for the cock to know about.”

You put a hand to your forehead and, even though you knew that to laugh would encourage him, giggled to yourself. “Alright, this is where we part ways Damiano.” You turned around and began to walk out of the aisle.

But he jogged to catch up to you, easily able to fall into step alongside you. “Wait, wait, avida- you haven’t heard the best part.”

He put his arm around your shoulders and you looked up at him, slightly fearful of what he had been saving for the big finish. “Uh-huh…”

“Your sister makes a bowl moulded from her boob…”

You jumped forward a few paces, getting away from him. “Dami, this is definitely not the best part.” You turned to face him, still taken in by his infectious grin. “You should’ve quit while you were ahead.”

“‘Cause then her girlfriend can eat her cereal out of the boob bowl every morning.” He said, causing you to make a loud dry-retching sound. “Talk about starting off your day the right way.”

You grabbed at whatever was closest to your hand, which turned out to be a pair of pink, fuzzy handcuffs. You chucked these at his head. “Stop, this is the worst part of the plan.” Next, you snatched up a headband decorated with cat ears, tossing them at him. “Actually, it’s the worst part of any plan that has ever existed in the entire world. And no, I’m not over-exaggerating.”

“Oh come on, boob bowl - that’s genius and you know it.” He said and you couldn’t keep yourself from laughing, it kept rising up. “Just think about it.”

“I will do no such thing.” You said. “You are the absolute worst. I can’t believe you tricked me into falling in love with you.”

He froze on the spot, eyes growing very wide. You gasped, those pesky giggles were under control now. You put a hand over your mouth and you felt your cheeks growing uncomfortably hot.

It was something you had been aware of for a few weeks now, noticing it once it was already growing, its roots reaching down into your gut. It was too early, four months wasn’t a very long time. The three of you were exclusive, but you didn’t know how serious things looked from their point of view.

All you knew was that you thought of both of them constantly - you saw a sunset and wanted to be sitting in Damiano’s arms, sharing the moment with him. You saw anything decorated with a rainbow and wanted Ethan to see it at once, wanting to know what he thought of it. Songs would come on the radio while you were working and you would start smiling widely, your mind flooded with thoughts of only them. There were new words in your vernacular, picked up from the two men.

Right from the start - it had been so wonderful and it never got any less powerful. But you had been biting your tongue, keeping this to yourself because you were certain it would shift the dynamic. You had been fighting against change.

But you had slipped and he had heard, now he knew that your feelings had changed.

“I… um…” You cleared your throat, looking all around yourself for any kind of distraction. “Oh hey, glow in the dark condoms. We should stock up on these, eh?”

He had quietly come over to your side, speaking softly in a way that terrified you. “You love me?”

You scoffed, tossing a bunch of the condom packets into your basket. “Shut up, whatever.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him - you were anticipating pity on his face as he attempted to soften the blow of this rejection. You started to walk away, too tense to hold still. “You already knew that.”

He was hot on your heels, practically breathing down the back of your neck. “No I didn’t.” The worry was making you sweat and you were desperate for an escape. “You’ve said you love things about me…

“And that you love spending time with me.” The neon-pink sign pointing out the dressing rooms seemed to promise sanctuary. You redirected your path because it was worth a try. “But this- this…”

He was relentless and you increased your pace. “This is the first time you’ve told me that you love me.”

You were close to running, reaching for the privacy curtain of the available stall. “Yeah and look at where I’m fuckin’ doing it.” You launched yourself into the enclosed space, turning to face him as you started to yank the heavy curtain shut. “A sex shop!”

You covered your face with your hands, completely mortified. You didn’t know which phrase would cut you up more - the sociopathic thank you or the patronising I love spending time with you.

You kept your hands over your flushed face, even as you heard him slide the curtain open. “Am I the most romantic girl in the world or what?”

You felt his tender touches, his hands on your hips, then your elbows, before stroking your hair - so soothing, so there for you.

“You are to me…” He said and you were willing to lower your hands a little. “‘Cause I love you too.”

You let your arms fall by your sides, the rush of adrenaline swinging your emotions onto a new plain. You smiled, looking into his warm eyes and seeing that a smile was easing onto his face in return. You put your hands to the front of his shirt.

“You do?”

“Yes, sweet thing.” He was pushing your hair away from your face, eyes taking in all of your features as if he was seeing you for the first time. He placed a short and sweet kiss to your lips, you could feel yourself getting giddy. “I love you.”

You grabbed him and pulled him in for a proper kiss - then another and another. You were wrapping your arms around his neck and his hands went to your back, making you feel so secure.

The two of you were moving slower than usual, the pauses between kisses were filled with looks into each other’s eyes. Every time you saw his smile, you felt your heart fluttering.

Your body was buzzing with tingles and you were seeing clearly - after not noticing that your vision had been compromised. Everything was in focus and bright and so beautiful.

“Scusami, sir.” A stern voice said from the other side of the curtain. “You can’t just follow her in there.”

“We’re fine, thanks.” You shouted.

He turned around, pulling the curtain aside. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m her boyfriend, her boyfriend that she’s in love with.”

You gave his arm a shove. “Damiano, she does not care.”

“Congratulazioni.” She said sarcastically. “It’s one person per stall, store policy, even for our most love-struck customers.”

He cleared his throat. “Of course.”

You laid a hand on his arm, getting his attention before he could leave. “Hey, let me talk to Ethan first, okay?”

“Sure thing.” He gave your butt an encouraging pat. “And don’t worry, he’s gonna say it back.”

“Wha-... he will, but how…” This unexpected statement had thrown you, so much so that your thoughts were as halting and as incomplete as a buffering video. “Why do you think- has he- have the two-... How do you know that?”

He just smiled at you. “He hasn’t said anything to me, but I can tell, because I know that boy. And I’m certain that he’s either already there or he’s on the verge of getting there. He doesn’t fuck around and waste time with people he doesn’t really like. He only hangs around with people that he cares about, and look at how much time he’s spent with you these past four months. And don’t even get me started on how many times he brings you up per day.”

“He really does that?”

“Yes, now look alive, ‘cause here he comes.” He said. “Hey kitty girl.”

Ethan furrowed his brow for a moment. But then he raised a hand, touching his fingers to the cat ears currently on top of his head. “Right meow, meow. I found them on the ground when I was looking for you and I thought there might be a cunnilingus joke in there, ‘cause lesbians… But that’s a bit too obvious.” He plucked the headband off of his head and reached it out toward Damiano. “She wouldn’t give me a deal on the candles.”

“Oh no.” You said as Damiano added the accessory to his own head. “Why not?”

“She wouldn’t really give me a reason. She just kept trying to redirect me to a bundle deal of orgasm balms, but I figured that wasn’t the kind of path we wanted to go down.”

“Or-gas…” You trailed off, looking at Damiano, who only shrugged. “What’s an orgasm balm?”

“It stimulates blood flow to the clit, obviously boosting sensitivities and it’s supposed to make the orgasm even more mind-blowing.” Ethan said. “But, is something that explicitly sexual really what you wanna give to your sister?”

You didn’t care what this product looked like, all you cared about was that you had just secured a reason to get him alone. “I dunno, it might be worth checking out. We could even find something along the way.”

“Alright, she said they were near the candles.” He pointed over to the other side of the store before offering his arm to you. “Shall we?”

You smiled, the warm and fuzzy sensation in your stomach was making you feel a little bashful. You linked your arm with his and kissed him on the cheek. “Let’s.”

“I’ll catch up with you guys.” Damiano said and winked at you, he was on your wavelength at once. “I just wanna grab a pack or two of glow in the dark rubbers.”

Ethan furrowed his brow. “Ew, why? You never fuck in the dark.”

Damiano was already backing away. “Right, but I thought they could be fun for a change. And isn’t everything sexier when it’s glowing in the dark?”

“I can think of so many things that go against that statement, I’ve already got forty in mind.”

“Yeah, but he’ll learn so much better if it’s through mistakes.” You said.

Ethan started to walk with you, across the aisles. “I’m sorry this isn’t going as smoothly as you wanted, as any of us wanted. I know how much your sister means to you and I’m, like, disappointed on your behalf.”

“No, don’t be. It’s a silver lining kind of situation. Sure, shopping for this party isn’t exactly straight forward, but you’re here and I’m having fun. I’m just really happy that you’re here.”

“It is fun, right? Like this kind of place is exactly as tacky as I imagined and they are definitely over-charging for some of this flimsy shit, like this is a fashion accessory, not an actual serious BDSM harness. But it’s cute, whatever, I’m still gonna buy it.” He said. “And it’s not like we’ve accomplished nothing- now you know what you don’t want, we’ve just gotta cast the net wider, right? How’s that for a silver lining?”

“It’s pretty good and you didn’t even have to rely on bringing up your lollipop.” You stopped walking, giving up the charade of caring about shopping. He turned to look at you quizzically and you grabbed both of his hands with yours. “I’m really happy that you’re here and that we get to do dumb shit like this, ‘cause I’m really happy to be your girlfriend. And Ethan, I…” You paused, looking down as you attempted to find the courage to rip this band aid off. This build-up made it feel more difficult, giving you those hints of anxiety. Despite what Damiano had said, you knew that nothing in life was ever guaranteed.

When you looked up again and saw his face (those soulful eyes considering you with some concern), you felt everything become easier.

“Ethan, I love you.” You said and he gave your hands a squeeze. “I’m just, like, so in love with you…”

He was smiling as he caressed your cheek, leaning in to place a kiss on your lips. “I love you too.”

The relief was immediate and all-consuming. You wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled him in for some deeper kisses. His hand in your hair and his tender mouth on yours - it made you feel like you were flying.

Your heart was pounding and this kiss was as exhilarating as the first kiss you had shared with him. The warmth of being wrapped up in him, it reached down deeper than just your skin - now you could feel his affection in your bones, reaching for your soul.

“I love you.” You said, giddy that you could say it for him.

“I love you so much that I’m gonna share my lollipop with you.”

You grinned, soon your cheeks would be hurting from all this smiling. “Now I love you even more.”

He had forgotten about showing the discounted items, instead the two of you stood forehead-to-forehead, lost in this moment of new understanding of one another. His hands played with your hair and you stared into his eyes, feeling so seen, feeling so safe.

Then his brow furrowed and he looked around to where a snap had come from behind him. “What is the matter with you?”

Damiano had snuck up, grinning. “What? I was trying to add to the moment.”

“You know what, gimme that.” Ethan said, snatching the riding crop away from Damiano.

“What? Did I hurt you?”

Ethan blinked slowly at him for a second or two, clearly at a loss for words. Then he looked to you, holding the feathered crop up for your consideration.

“You must be joking, you must be, because there is no chance that this toy could hurt me or anyone for that matter. Stick your hand out, I’ll show you.”

Damiano paused. “You’re just gonna hit me with this flogger, in public, like, for real?”

“You hit him with it first.” You said, amused by this hesitation in him, so different to the usual bravado he went into every situation with.

“Yeah Daddy, don’t start things you can’t finish.” Ethan said with a smirk. “Besides, don’t be scared, this isn’t a flogger.” He spun the thin plastic stick around in his hand. “It isn’t even a whip. This is a pinkified fly swatter and you’re not afraid of a little baby fly swatter, are you?”

This was all it took to secure Damiano’s participation. He started to roll the cuff of his shirt away from his wrist, he had puffed his chest out a little. “I’m not afraid.”

Ethan caught your eye, still smirking as Damiano stuck his arm out. He had curled the hand into a fist as he held the arm straightened out in front of him.

Ethan placed one hand gently over Damiano’s, while the arm holding the flogger was pulled back and over his shoulder. Heat coursed through your veins as you admired the flexed muscles in his arm. You thought about offering to trade places with Damiano, so that you could be the one to experience Ethan’s power. You wanted to be reduced down to a rag doll, at the weakened mercy of his strength. He could certainly make you forget about your current public setting.

You licked your lips and watched him bring the riding crop down. It made a whoosh through the air as he wielded it with a look of cold concentration on his face.

The feather-decorated pad collided with Damiano’s bare wrist with a loud snap, the shock vibrating down to where Ethan held the handle. You saw a pink mark left on Damiano’s skin.

“Did that hurt?”You asked.

“It didn’t not hurt, more of a sting, really.” He said as Ethan bent down to pick the crop up from the ground. “He could definitely hurt me more with the back of a hairbrush, or just his hand.”

“Well…” He said, handing the feathered end to you, which you grabbed, only to find the toy was much shorter than you had realised. “I think that’s my point made.”

You looked over to where he was still holding a near-identical black stick by its handle - this one looked shorter than before and it was missing its pink feathers. Then the realisation hit you and you started to laugh. “Bloody Hell Ethan, now they’re gonna make us buy it.”

He shrugged, twirling his half of the broken crop across his fingers, as you had seen him do countless times with his drumsticks. “Whatever, now it’s the perfect gift for your cats.” He said, turning to Damiano. “It can serve a purpose better suited to it now, and look, there’s even two.” Ethan passed Damiano one half. “This is Merry’s and that one can be for Pippin. Take these with ya the next time you go visit your parents.”

“I can’t believe you broke it.” Damiano said.

“Yeah, I was gonna ask you to test every single crop in here on me. And I’m kinda glad I didn't say that, ‘cause then we’d be walking out of here with a much longer receipt.” You said.

“I’m sure that not everything they sell is complete garbage like this. Otherwise, how would they still be open and making a profit, right? But if I was gonna spank you baby, it’d be with a proper paddle.” Ethan said and you listened carefully to each word, curling a strand of hair around your finger. “I wouldn’t wanna waste the time, money and arousal of someone that I love, with some mass-produced piece of shit.”

Damiano leant in, a wide grin on his face. “He said it back?”

You nodded. “He said it back.”

“Oh, so you said it to him first?” Ethan asked.

“Yeah, it kinda just slipped out. And then he chased me and followed me into a dressing room. And we almost got kicked out.”

“And now I’ve broken some of their merchandise…” Ethan said, then sighed. “Was Thomas right about us, when he said that the three of us together are a menace to society?”

--- --- ---

"So how do you know about all this stuff?" You asked, taking the grape lollipop out of your mouth for a moment.

Ethan looked up from where he had been assembling his new toy - the spreader bar, which you still didn't have a solid opinion on. "What stuff, baby?"

"This kink stuff- the spreader, knowing just by looking that that flogger was a waste of time. You were just so sure of yourself, but I was completely lost in that store."

"So was I." He shrugged. "That's why I only got this, and that." He pointed to the dick-shaped candy, then paused. "Also, a pack of gummy boobs."

"You got the gummy boobs?"

"Yeah, some that we could have- we've gotta make sure they're good enough for the party."

"Of course."

"And none right now, 'cause he'd literally kill us if we ruined our appetites on lollies while he's in there 'slaving away' over a hot stove."

You snickered. "He'd go full passive-aggressive but mostly just aggressive madre at us."

"You're damn right he would."

You had arrived back to Ethan's modest apartment about an hour ago, you and he seated on the couch, you were supposed to be unwinding, cooling down for the night. Damiano was making pizzas and there was a new update to one of their favourite video games that they wanted to explore. It was supposed to be a relaxed night, just hanging out, maybe falling asleep on the couch.

But there was far too much rushing through your head, settling down felt beyond your capabilities. Too much had happened, too much information and it filled you with keen butterflies.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Ethan looked at you, eyebrows raised and almost looking innocent. “Oh, I didn’t?”

“That’s right, you didn’t. So, please enlighten me.”

“About a year ago, I went out for a while with this chick who worked as a dominatrix and I guess she taught me a bunch of stuff. It was barely a relationship- she assumed that ‘cause I wasn’t straight, I wouldn’t be interested in monogamy. She was wrong and it got really frustrating when she kept trying to bring other people home with us. It was over in, like, two months. But what an educational two months it was and now I know all about stuff like shibari.”

You furrowed your brow at him. “Sheep- who?”

He snatched the lollipop out of your hands. “Shibari.” He said it slower this time, but you didn’t feel any closer to understanding. “It’s this ancient style of rope bondage from Japan and it’s really artful and beautiful. And what I like best- it takes effort and time. It’s not like this…” He gestured with the hollow metal bar. “Or a pair of cuffs, where you just click it into place and you’re immediately ready to rock ‘n’ roll. There’s something so sensual, so extra personal about making something with just your hands and some rope. And you can make the coolest, most intense things.”

“Like what?” You asked quietly as you watched him suck on the candy.

“Do you want me to show you?”

“Yes please.”

He smiled, standing up and projecting his voice towards the kitchen. “We’re gonna hang out in the bedroom ‘til dinner is ready.”

“Okay.” Damiano called back.

You got to your feet, immediately taking the hand that Ethan offered you. The next thing that he offered you was the lollipop. Instead of taking it by the stick, you opened your mouth and allowed him to place it between your lips. You extended your neck, bringing more of the candy into your mouth, while keeping your eyes on him the whole time.

“Okay, I’m getting the sense that you might need to be tied up”

You fluttered your lashes at him as you slowly pulled the candy out of your mouth. “I’m sure that I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Mm, I bet.” He said with a sarcastic roll of his eyes. “Come here.” He swept an arm under your legs, effortlessly lifting you from the ground.

You grinned as you admired how secure you felt straight away. You didn’t need to steady yourself with your arms around his shoulders, but you took the opportunity to hold yourself a little closer to his body. You felt heat coming into your cheeks and you hoped that this hallway would never end, so he would never put you down.

When you did reach the bedroom, he placed you down onto the perfectly made bed. Then he ducked down, disappearing from your line of sight as he inspected the area beneath the bed. You glanced at the bedside table, which only held two things - a tall candle in the colours of the pride flag and a framed copy of the series of photos the three of you had crammed into a photobooth to get.

“Okay, I’ve got a few colours to choose from.” His hand dumped three bundles of rope onto the bed. That seemed like enough to you, you heard him continue to root around in this hidden space. “What’s your favourite colour? I’ll see if I’ve got some in that colour for you…”

You picked up one of the wrapped-up lengths of rope that was already on the bed. “Purple.”

“Mine too.” He said, reappearing and offering you another bundle. “That and red- do you know why?”

“‘Cause it’s the colour of blood and this is the part where you tell me that you’re a vampire?”

“No- Damiano’s the biter, not me. It’s ‘cause red is the colour you were wearing when we first met.”

You felt your insides melt. “Aw, that’s so sweet. You get up here and kiss me right now, I can hardly stand it.”

He straightened up, moving to where you could put your arms around him, bringing him in for a kiss. You put your hand to the back of his head, your fingers winding themselves in his silky hair.

But you didn’t get to kiss him for long. He pulled away before you could properly taste his lips or begin to take his breath away. “May I have your hands?”

You unhappily removed your arms from around him, presenting your hands into the air between you. He directed your wrists closer, but not touching. He had unwound the length of black rope, pausing and lying it across your lap, briefly distracted by his hair. He gathered it into his hands, utilising an elastic tie to secure the hair into a messy bun at the top of his head.

“So, when people hear the word bondage, this is probably the thing they think of.”

He had doubled the rope, holding it taut beneath your wrists. He lined the centre of the rope up and folded the working ends over the tops of your wrists. He wound it around before adding the other side.

“And that’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with some wrist binding.”

You couldn’t decide where to settle your focus - you wanted to watch all of him at once. You wanted to watch the concentration play out across his perpetually-serious face, you wanted to see him jam his tongue into the corner of his lips, you didn’t want to miss seeing the creases develop in his forehead. But you were also curious to see his process, to watch his careful hands take away your power with a series of practiced movements.

Once your wrists were wound up, he started to secure the rope around itself. He created one secure knot, then a second, pulling it tight without forcing your wrists together.

“But the thing that I really like about shibari- is that it can be used pretty much on anything. May I have your ankles?”

“Um, yeah.” You shifted your body weight awkwardly, attempting to bring your knees up. You could feel your balance slipping and you were beginning to tip over.

He grabbed your upper-arms, pulling you out of the momentum that would have sent you back on the bed. “Whoa, you’re alright. I’ve got you.”

You exhaled heavily as your eyes met. “Yes, you sure do.”

A smile tugged at his cheek, but he remained focused on his task. “Scoot back, give yourself some more space for your ass. Yep, and then put your feet up here on the edge. Better, right? Do you feel steadier?”

“Uh-huh.” You tucked your tied hands into your lap, leaning forward to look over your elevated knees - watching as he brought a new length of black rope to your ankles.

“With shibari, unlike with your standard sex toys or bondage gear- it can be used for anything. There are literally no limitations.” His hands worked quicker as he mimicked the way he had bound your wrists. “All that you need is rope and imagination. I just think that’s so sexy, don’t you?”

You had stopped watching the rope, instead getting stuck staring at his face. “So sexy.”

“Oh, and trust. You need so much trust, otherwise the whole thing just shouldn’t happen. You have to trust me that I’ll listen and I have to trust that you’ll tell me if something is too tight or just doesn’t feel right.” He fastened the first knot between your ankles. “So, not to sound too much like Aladdin right now, but…” You were giggling when he looked up at you. “Do you trust me?”

You nodded. “One hundred percent.”

He smiled, going back to fixing the second knot. “You know, I think Aladdin was my first boy-crush. It makes so little sense, he’s a damn cartoon and he doesn’t even have any fuckin’ nipples, but he didn’t need them. And I thought he was so dreamy…”

“No, no, no, I get it. My first girl-crush was Ariel, the little mermaid herself. At the time, everyone around me just thought I was really into mermaids and I was. But it was more that internal struggle of- do I wanna be with her or do I want to be her?”

“The constant confusion that makes up the queer experience.”

“Come and get it.” Damiano shouted.

“Well, you heard him- dinner’s a-waitin’.”

You scoffed. “Sure, I’ll just shuffle out there, no dramas and I definitely won’t fall over.”

“I think maybe you could. I’ve seen some of those legit stilts you keep in your wardrobe and call shoes.”

You watched him stand up, your eyebrows raised. “Seriously?”

“I think you could get further than you’re thinking.” He offered his hands to you. “With some help from me and a hop and some optimism- I don’t see any reason why you couldn’t make it back to the other room.”

Damiano sounded impatient. “Hello?”

“You should probably just bring the pizza in here, Daddy. She’s a little immobilised right now.”

His eyes lit up as soon as he entered the room. “Oh, my. What can I do to help?”

“I think we’re good.” Ethan said. “I was just teaching our little avida about shibari.”

You reached out and hooked a finger through one of his belt loops. “Ooh, call me little again…”

“You’re doing sheb-barry, what?” Damiano asked. He sat down on the bed, lying out a plate of pizza.

“See, this is what you always do- you act like I’m some sort of choir boy while you’re this king of kink. And yet, you don’t know what shibari or somnophilia is.”

“I’m sorry, my love.” Damiano said. “I guess I just mistake your quietness for bashfulness. I don’t think of you as a prude or anything.”

“Good, because I’m not.” Ethan said, sitting down alongside you and picking up a slice of pizza.

You were able to use your hands enough to feed yourself, with only minor difficulties. “Shibari, it’s all these hardcore knots he’s tied me up with.”

“Oh, I know how to tie someone up.”

“Really?” Ethan asked, lobbing a bundle of red rope at the other man. “Would you care to demonstrate for us? She’s still got a bit too much mobility in her arms, why don’t you tie something about halfway to her elbows?”

“ButI’m eating pizza.” It was a half-hearted objection because deep down you knew that there wasn’t any chance of you rejecting a request from either boyfriend.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry, we’ll feed you.” Ethan said, nudging you forward.

You took the biggest possible bite of food before sliding over to where Damiano sat. You attempted to talk, even as you chewed. “It’s good pizza.”

“Yep, I can see that. And I do mean that quite literally.” He said with a playful smile.

You extended your arms out to him and he placed the unravelled rope beneath your forearms. He started to wrap one end of the rope under the other.

You watched his progress, at first you were reminded of how you would fix the laces of your shoes. Your arms were brought together as he created a loop, through which he fed one working end, then the other.

After about six steps, he was pulling the ropes taut. He looked over his progress and nodded, satisfied with his work even though it looked nothing like Ethan’s binds.

“What do you call this kind of knot?” Ethan asked.

Damiano scratched his head. “Um, I think it’s, like, a square knot.”

Ethan scoffed. “Yeah, of course that’s the type of knot that you would tie, you fuckin’ square.”

“I think it’s pretty secure.” You said.

“Do you want me to take them off so you can eat?” He offered.

“No, that’s okay. I kinda like it.”

He grabbed your wrist binding and gave it a tug, prompting you to half-turn toward him. “Oh, is that so? Kinky little avida likes bondage, hm?”

“Yeah, maybe I do.” You said. “What I’ve tasted so far, at least.”

“We could do some more…” He said, looking from you to Damiano. “And I could teach Daddy a few tricks.”

“I could try to be a good student for you, my love.”

“I’ve got something in mind, something more decorative than restrictive.” Ethan said. “I won’t add anything more to your arms, so you can keep eating pizza.”

“Awesome.” It took more effort now that your forearms were pinned together - but you secured another slice all the same.

He interrupted you before you could take a single bite. “But you’ll have to take your clothes off first… so that we can do the tying.”

You scoffed. “Right, that’s why. How long have you been waiting to say that?”

He grabbed the pizza and shoved it at your mouth. “Shut up and eat your pizza. I’m gonna untie you for a sec’.”

Damiano’s square knot came loose very easily, with Ethan’s requiring extra time to undo. You removed your shirt and bra while he worked apart your ankle binding.

“I’m not gonna be the only one getting naked here.” You said as you undid the fly of your pants.

“Certainly not.” Damiano said, quickly removing his shirt.

“Oh, you’re not gonna be naked, we’re gonna make you a rope dress.”

“And I’m sure it’s gonna be very modest.” Damiano said to you with a wink.

Ethan had folded the black rope, placing the centre of its length across the back of your neck. You could feel him tying a careful knot there, Damiano watching silently as he ate some of the pizza. Allowed full mobility of your arms, you helped yourself to another slice.

Ethan draped a working end of the rope over each of your shoulders, placing the two pieces together at your clavicle. “Really simple start here, we’re gonna go down her front with a bunch of overhand knots.” He created a loop, feeding the ends through this and pulling it secure. He looked up to make sure Damiano was watching. “Do you wanna tie the next one? It should be about three inches down from this.”

“Oh, that’s so easy.” Damiano said, moving forward and picking the loose strands up from your chest. He quickly created a knot the same as Ethan’s. “Like that?”

“Yeah, but do three more- same distance apart and all.”

You turned your body to Damiano’s, giving him more space to work as he created knots lower, and lower again. He was silent, seemingly out of any clever quips while he was trying to impress Ethan.

Damiano’s current demeanour was so uncharacteristically serious that it was shifting the atmosphere in the room. Nothing had to be said, but you could feel the stakes being raised - his lustful intentions became a palpable presence, evident in his movements. You could feel a burn coming to your cheeks and it now seemed very important, very impossible to overlook, that you were naked.

The fourth knot sat just beneath your belly button and he paused after measuring out the spot for the next knot. His eyes met yours and the two of you shared a silent acknowledgement - this knot would sit directly upon your bare pussy. You weren’t sure how that kind of stimulation would feel, weren’t sure how to ask him to keep going.

But Ethan knew what he wanted, spurring Damiano on as soon as their eyes met. “Go on, the next knot is the best one. It’s literally called the happy knot.”

A strangled giggle came from you as Damiano created another loop. “More like the horny knot.”

“Splendido.” Ethan said before giving your hip a gentle tap. “Can I get you to sit up on your knees for a sec’?”

You lifted yourself up as he resumed control over the tail of the ropes. He pulled the length taut and you bit your bottom lip when he secured the knot in between your flaps, bringing it to rest against your wet entrance.

He pulled it back, sliding it between your ass cheeks - thicker, and less easy to ignore, than any g-string you had worn before. Your breath became shallow and it was taking your brain a moment to register a reaction to this brand new sensation.

As you grew wetter, he brought the tail of the rope up your back. And now it was firmly holding itself to the contours of your body - with him fastening the working ends to the knot between your shoulder blades.

“Is that okay, baby?” He asked, checking he could still slide a finger beneath the rope, ensuring no damage was being done to your skin.

“Mm-hmm, it’s great.” You said, smiling weakly.

“This should be quicker with two of us.” He said. “You can sit back down, but I need you to face him.”

You did as you were instructed, seeing how eagerly Damiano was watching once you had turned to him. Between both of them, you felt your anticipation growing. Their eyes on you were as tangible as the brushes of their fingers against your skin.

You could feel your arousal swelling, like a balloon in your stomach. You didn’t know how far from the end this thorough process was, but you were ready, as prepared for the next step as physically possible. Your body was safe in their hands with each of them concentrating so carefully on just you as if you were the only girl in the world.

But, even as your heart raced, you weren’t intimidated or feeling nervous over such unflinching attention. Instead of being bashful, you were invigorated - every pounding of your heart reminding you that you loved them and each of them loved you in return.

They passed the working ends to one another, wrapping even more of the rope around you. Damiano was transforming the knotted rope that ran down your front into a series of diamond-like shapes. He separated the two strands, running the left tail under the left side before handing it back to Ethan, then doing the same on the right-hand side. Ethan crossed the ropes over at your back, a quick knot securing it to the throughline there. Then the working ends were given back to Damiano for him to make another diamond.

“Is this gonna leave marks?” He asked.

“It depends on how long she wears it.” Ethan said before addressing you. “Do you want some marks?”

You smiled, feeling a fire of passion in your abdomen. “Yes please.”

Damiano was grinning as he threaded the working ends through, to create a third diamond. This eliminated most of the slack left in the section of rope that was wrapped around your cunt. You had to shut your eyes, needing more than a second to compose yourself. You could feel a tremor in your thigh as Ethan tied another knot.

“And that’s it.” He declared. “Well, the streamlined version, at least. There’s always more that could be added, including greater restrictions. But this worked out kinda perfectly for how much rope we had. And I figure that you already look absolutely delectable, avida. How does it feel?”

“Modest.” You said, prompting laughter from Damiano. “No, it’s good, it’s less uncomfortable than a corset, but it feels way sexier.”

“Way sexier.” He echoed, his fingers running along your skin, following the lines of your binds. “How come you’ve never shared this kinky talent with me before, my love?”

You heard a weird wet sound from behind you and you looked over your shoulder, discovering that Ethan was sucking on the lollipop again. He withdrew it from his mouth, a serious look on his face as he answered. “You never asked. You were always too damn impatient for us to have any kind of discussion in the leadup and then you fall asleep immediately afterwards, every single time. The most that we’ve ever established is coming up with our safe word.”

“You two have a safe word? Why did I not know about this?” You asked.

“I guess it never came up.” Damiano said. “It’s bro.”

“Well, that’s, like, stage one - like the warning light to get off that path. When it’s time to stop altogether, that’s when we say bromance.”

You burst out laughing, shaking your head. “That’s terrible. That’s gotta be the least sexy thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Right, that’s why it’s the perfect safe word.” Damiano said. “Nothing makes me wanna suck dick less than someone calling me bro.”

“Yep, I can see that.” You said before being distracted by Ethan offering the lollipop to you. “Thanks baby.”

He kissed you on the cheek, then grabbed Damiano’s hand. “Is it your turn to be tied up?”

“Hell yes.” He said, instantly sitting forward. “My turn to be the centre of attention. But do I get a say? ‘Cause I don’t want you to tie my hands. I’d hate to deprive the two of you like that…”

Ethan got Damiano to remove the rest of his clothing, lying down at the pillows. Beyond choosing a colour (red), Ethan told you that you could relax - he could handle this ropework on his own. You laid down alongside Damiano, sharing the lollipop with him.

“Bend your knees up for me.” Ethan said. “Yep, just like that, that’s perfect.”

Damiano groaned. “God, I love it when you praise me.”

“There’s a kink for that.”

“Am I the president of it?” He asked.

“You’d probably have to earn a title like that.” You observed.

“I’m not afraid of hard work.” He said, smiling as he offered the lollipop to you.

Instead of sucking on the phallic candy again, you moved forward to capture his lips in a kiss - the artificial grape flavouring was no longer enough for you. His lips were sickly sweet, immediately parting for you as he put his hand to the back of your head. You caressed his neck, the heat of his body so inviting.

You lost all track of time, forgetting to watch Ethan’s progress - instead fixating on Damiano’s lips and tongue. You let your hands explore all over his body, relieved to not have to hold yourself back as had been the case in the adult toy store. Now you could sink deeper-and-deeper into this passion, your hands drawn to those areas you had memorised as favourites.

You were pushing more of your body against his, wanting this to be a collision that neither of you could easily recover from. His moans vibrated into your mouth as his fingers massaged over your scalp, keeping you from breaking this contact.

You reached one of your legs across, beginning to place it between both of his. But before you could properly get into this new position (one that would easily allow you to progress to mounting him), your foot bumped against something dense and unfamiliar with its ribbed sides. Then you felt a swift tap at your ankle as Ethan tried to bat your foot out of his way.

“Give me five more seconds.” He said as you opened your eyes, looking down to his handiwork.

You immediately sat up in the interest of getting a clearer view of what already looked very impressive. You had unknowingly knocked your foot against a thick series of knots that connected one of Damiano’s knees to the other. His knees were trapped at an acute angle by twisted loops of rope.

It was all so intricately weaved, you couldn’t see any weak points that could be exploited for a quick exit. You envisioned that a knife would be necessary to get him out of this.

“Not too tight?” Ethan asked, making the final touches.

Damiano was grinning widely as he looked at Ethan’s creation. “Not at all.”

“What’s this part here?” You asked, reaching out for the rung between Damiano’s legs. “Is this, like, a handlebar?”

“Pretty much.” Ethan said.

“I could get into this shiberry-thing.” Damiano said.

Ethan rolled his eyes. “Shibari.”

You had leant forward, placing your hands to either side of his face and drawing him in until he was finally close enough to kiss. “So, what now? What are you gonna do to us now that you’ve got us all tied up and at your mercy?”

He smiled, moving to whisper into your ear. “I could tell you, but I’m gonna have much more fun surprising you.”

You put your hands to the fly of his jeans, pushing down the zipper. “You can do whatever you want, just get naked.”

“Actually, I don’t need to get naked for what I wanna do.”

Before you had time to ask for clarity, he was grabbing beneath your thighs, lifting and robbing you of your balance, until you landed on the mattress next to Damiano. Your heart had skipped over a few beats and you could feel the muscles in your chest tightening. You let out a little giggle, biting into your bottom lip as you looked down at what your boyfriend was doing.

Ethan was settling himself down between your legs and bringing his face closer to your pussy. His deep brown eyes studied your face as his warm hands moved across your thighs, gently pushing them apart. You felt a shudder run through your body as he watched you, making you feel so small but so safe. The knot over your pussy was getting wetter, just from his penetrative stare.

He pushed the rope off of your clitoral hood, making the necessary space allowing him to place his mouth to the pulsing bundle of nerves. A wave of flames rolled over your body, causing you to fall limp as your heart ached for more. He lapped at the moisture that had already been collecting at your entrance.

He swirled his tongue around your clit and it was the beginning of relief surging through you, all of those desires that had been waiting to be acknowledged, they would finally be enjoyed.

“Oh, fuck.” You moaned, feeling the tension coil up within you, already wrapped so tight, already promising to destroy you.

Your pussy betrayed any kind of composure you may have been portraying to your boyfriends - your walls fluttering and clenching upon his tongue as soon as it began to sink into your heat.

Tenderly, he set about exploring into you, slowly uncovering more of your taste. He savoured every inch of your tight hole, careful movements suggesting that he felt no rush - his focus was on the build-up, as much as it was on the grand finale.

You wanted to follow his lead into this sensual, measured pace. But, his tongue flicking up inside of you brought out an involuntary buck from your hips as you gasped. There was a pressure on your chest as you gasped, your thoughts moving to the orgasm. It would get more difficult to hold still, to simply let him run the show, when you were aware of the pleasure in increasingly more places - your body was awakened by his touch and every bit of you wanted to get in on this action.

Your eyes fluttered open, giving you a chance to reacquaint yourself with your surroundings. You found that Damiano was now sitting up, his eyes greedily taking in the scene that was unfolding before him. He was still sucking on the lollipop, while one of his hands rested on Ethan’s back, his fingers moving in non-uniform patterns.

You couldn’t contain a whimper when a feeling of suction was quickly followed by an audible gulp as Ethan drank some of your cum down. Damiano put his hand to Ethan’s cheek, tenderly tracing across his skin. Ethan moaned into you (not shying away from the attention that the two of you were placing upon him), his eyes moving to Damiano’s face, before his gaze met your own.

That look made you shiver, made you want to give it all to him. He repositioned, tongue sliding out as he moved up a little. All of your wetness was dragged up to your clit as he allowed his lips to rest there. He was out of breath, but the concentration remained on his face.

He shifted his weight to free one of his arms and you began to sit up, forcing yourself into action. “Wait, wait.” He looked at you, puzzled. “Don’t do that- with your- well, not right now, but…”

“Are you okay? Is the rope hurting, ‘cause I can have you out of that in, like, a minute. Just let me at-...”

You held your hand out, creating a buffer. “No, I’m doing just fine. But I wanted to change up the position a bit.” You grabbed his arm with both hands and tugged him closer. You changed the course of his momentum, pushing him down. Your hands returned to his jeans, this time actively pulling them off of his hips. “I really wanna suck your dick. And that lollipop- that’s a shitty substitute.”

“Smaller, too.” Damiano said.

“Oh my God, so much smaller.” You agreed as you pulled down Ethan’s pink briefs. “That’s even before we all started eating the lollipop.”

You laid down on your side, placing your feet up by the pillows. You scooted closer and grabbed his leg, guiding him to face you.

You looked up at him when you felt his hands in your hair, gently stroking. Silently, he watched as you brought your face in closer to his dick, your eyes landing upon him and you felt the persistent dampness beading at your pussy.

Your lips parted around his tip and you braced yourself with your hand at the back of his knee. You felt the muscles in his leg tense as you drew more of his length into your mouth.

A shock came through your system when he hitched a finger under the slack of your rope-dress, bringing that happy knot into your slit. You retracted slightly, your concentration on him shattered. Your swollen labia puckered on either side of the knot and your hips moved forward, drawing this unique simulation up, over your clitoral hood, to where it could bubble in the depths of your gut.

You let your heart continue its fluttering at the back of your throat, returning the tension to your jaw, ready to create a seal around his dick. You played your tongue at the underside of him, teasing tastes as you pushed your mouth forward again. You swallowed more of him in, letting him massage across your tastebuds.

His tongue soon found its way back to your clit, lightly moving against the tight bundle of nerves. It was heavenly, pleasant sparks flying through your body as your pussy clenched upon the thick knot. He wasn’t looking to set into any kind of rhythm yet (which felt like a move made out of mercy), he was lazily warming you up, testing what he could do around the rope.

You gulped down, bringing him in as far as you could without having him hit the back of your throat straight away. Once your mouth was sufficiently full, you began to suck. You secured your lips around his pulsing shaft, hollowing your cheeks to make the space in your mouth feel tighter.

He plucked the knot out of the way, pushing it aside and quickly filling this space with a finger. He buried his finger in, going instantly up to his second knuckle, your pussy quivering in response. You whined around his cock when he curled his finger, seeking where he hadn’t yet been. Your tongue extended along him, your jaw wanting to fall slack, especially when he added a second finger.

He copied your style and placed his lips around your clitoral hood, treating it with some gentle sucking.

You trembled, feeling yourself weakened by the power of the pleasure he was giving you. Your focus on his cock slipping as you struggled for air, your body rocketing into reckless bucks. You didn’t think you could go along like this for very long - your staying power being viciously challenged with every pump of his fingers.

Your mouth was emptied as your head lolled back. “Baby, fuckin’ Hel- ah!”

For a moment, you lost all control. You reached your hand down, fingers grabbing for his bun. You held tightly to his hair as he determinedly carried on, pulling you down deeper into your arousal. The muscles in your arm were held painfully tense as you were torn between two decisions. You wanted to tell him to stop, to slow down to something more sustainable and sane - something that all three of you could enjoy.

But you also felt hopeless to do anything but drown in his lust, letting him manipulate your body.

“You want to make him come, don’t you baby?”

You opened your eyes, finding Damiano staring directly at you. He had lowered himself down, resting against Ethan’s side. The singer had his arm draped over your boyfriend’s hip, fingers caressing all over Ethan’s skin. Ethan shivered, moaning into your wetness when Damiano delicately traced the length of Ethan’s cock with a few of his fingers.

You nodded jerkily. “Mm-hmm, I wanna taste his orgasm.”

Damiano growled quietly as he wrapped his fingers around Ethan’s cock. “I bet you do.”

As Damiano started to work his hand on Ethan’s cock, you felt yourself hit a peak as his tongue left your body, his chin slumping to tuck down. You were sitting at what could have been a manageable baseline, his fingers slowing inside of you.

“I want it all over my face.” You said, moving your mouth forward, bringing his tip to rest at your bottom lip.

“Yes, you do-” Damiano agreed, increasing his pacing on Ethan. “You want it so bad, you little, naughty, greedy, and filthy, oh-so filthy thing.”

“Yes.” You whispered, sliding your tongue over Ethan’s head, gathering him across your taste buds before securing your lips around the tip - your mouth ready to be filled with so much more.

“Did you hear that, love?” Damiano asked, his nose pressed to Ethan’s cheek. “She wants you to cover her fuckin’ face. She needs it. You have to give it all to her, give her your cum.”

Ethan could only moan in response, losing himself into the climax. His fingers merely rested within you now - your pussy was clenching sporadically, keeping you feeling wondrous tingles. You didn’t need to fuck yourself against him - in this moment, his pleasure dwarfed your own in terms of importance.

You held yourself steady at his head, following the grinding of his hips as Damiano kept up his merciless rhythm. You could taste more of Ethan and you swallowed it all, sighing dreamily.

“Give it to her, give her all of your cum.” Damiano instructed, his breathing heavy from the exertion of stroking even faster. “Cover her beautiful face.” You skimmed your tongue along Ethan’s underside, feeling how the sensitive shaft pulsed with frantic energy. “She loves it, she needs it.” You swirled your tongue around his spilling shaft - hoping that your energetic efforts were enough to convey that you agreed with all of Damiano’s statements. “She loves you and you need to cover her with your love.”

“Ah…” Ethan cried out, his whole body jittering and he put a hand to the back of your head. “Fuck, oh fuck…” You moved your slicked lips across his tip, swallowing him down only so far as to not interrupt Damiano’s momentum.

You flicked your gaze up to Ethan’s face, finding his eyes were open and fixed on you. His mouth gaped open, an expression of disbelief, as incoherent sounds came from deep in his throat. So much of his hair had come loose from the tie, strands stuck in the sweat gathered on his forehead. He was a desperate mess.

His hand held the back of your head with a fierce strength and determination. This kept you in place, even when he lost all of his restraint and his hips bucked, bringing him deeper into your mouth.

He started to spill himself inside of you like never before, crying out praises, louder than the wet noises of his persistent stroking over your wet lips. You let your jaw fall slack as his aim shifted, until you were feeling his primal heat splashing over your face.

“Yes, yes, oh my God, yes.” Damiano was observing all of this, yet to release Ethan’s cock as he worked this orgasm to an exhausting conclusion. “Look at all of that cum, oh fuck- yes, yes, yes.”

With a low whine, you felt the mattress finally still as Ethan slumped - entirely used. This was when you dared to open your eyes, your tongue darting out in a feeble attempt at cleaning your lips. Looking over Ethan’s breathless form, you found Damiano was sitting up, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you.

“Come here, avida.” He held his arms out to you. “Let Daddy clean you up.”

You were a little shaky and unsure of your movements as you climbed over Ethan, but Damiano caught you before you could land awkwardly.

“Are you…” He asked.

“I’m great. Sticky, but…” You giggled when his eyes met yours. “What’re- you said you were gonna clean me off… So what's- is your mouth tired after the lollipop or something?”

“No.” He kissed you on your wet lips before kissing off to the left of your mouth, making you laugh again when you felt his tongue across your skin. “You’re just so- I can’t believe you let us do that…”

You furrowed your brow, trying to get comfortable alongside him wasn’t as easy as you usually found it - the bindings on his legs creating an angle that you weren’t used to. “What do you…” You felt his lips moving across the wet patches on your face. “Do you mean my facial?”

“Yeah.” He said, laughing a little as he licked your nose.

“Really? Why?” You put your arms around his neck, bringing your fingers to the nape of his neck, finding a way to relax. “Because it’s supposed to be, like, some sort of degradation?” He moved to the other half of your face, alternating between his lips and tongue. “Because I don’t see it that way, oh at all. I wouldn’t have asked for something that I didn’t truly want. And you made it sound so romantic and beautiful and I wanted to wear it, I wanted to wear the accomplishment of getting my boyfriend off…”

His arms snaked around your middle and he pulled you closer, some more awkward shuffling as your chest pressed to his, one of your legs going halfway across his lap. His lips were on your chin, thoroughly ridding your skin of Ethan’s essence.

“It looks really good on you.”

You smiled to yourself as he began kissing down your neck. “You just think that I look good ‘cause I’m naked.”

“You’re not naked, you’re practically fully clothed in your rope dress.” He said as his hands found a home at the small of your back. “By the way, how are you liking that dress? How’s that happy knot?”

“It could be happier…” You paused, licking your lips as he looked up at you. “Could you help me with that, Daddy?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” He said and straight away brought you into his lap. He sat with his back against the headboard, the forced bend at his knees meaning you were already so close to him - feeling barely any separation between your bodies. Instantly you felt how firm he was, pressed at your crotch, silently begging for access into your wet heat.

“I trust you.”

You didn’t know why, but you had felt compelled to say it. Something had been prompted when you had come to his eye-level and suddenly that was all you could think of. He hadn’t asked, or otherwise hinted at wanting this reassurance - but you felt it too strongly to not share it.

You felt a third hand on your back and you glanced over your shoulder, finding Ethan had recovered somewhat. He had rolled over, watching how the two of you were interacting. You smiled at him. “And I trust you. Besides, that wasn’t my first facial, I knew I wasn’t gonna die or anything. Not my first, but definitely my best.” The smile on Ethan’s face looked bashful and it made you lament that he wasn’t within kissing-distance. “And I knew that you weren’t, like, gonna think any less of me ‘cause I did it.”

“If I may, just for a second, talk on behalf of both myself and Ethan…”

He snorted sarcastically. “If you may? You’re always talking enough on everyone’s behalf. And the other half of ‘em, too.”

Damiano dismissed this interruption with a flick of his wrist. “Hush, rope boy. What I wanted to tell you, sweet thing- is that we definitely do not think any less of you after that. In fact, I think even more of you…”

You smiled - even though there were plenty of things that sprung into your mind, jokes to say, you fought them all back. You didn’t want anything to diminish what he had just said. You let all of his words gather, collecting and spreading a gentle warmth through your heart. You brought him in for a kiss, Ethan’s taste immediately present.

Ethan was now sitting up and you felt his lips ghosting across your shoulder. “I hate to say it and I definitely won’t make a habit out of it- but, he is right.” He pushed his hand into your hair, fingers caressing over your scalp. “You’re so beautiful and so enthusiastic.” The heat of his breath was on your skin as he spoke, it made you clench, it made you grind your hips into Damiano’s. “You are so free and you aren’t ashamed of getting what your body wants.” Suddenly Ethan’s hand was in a fist around your hair and a tug ripped your mouth from Damiano’s. Your throat was pulled taut and you looked up into Ethan’s eyes. “And it’s so unbelievably sexy.”

You released a shaky breath. “I f- uh… oh, fuck…” Your mouth dropped open, without any real warning - Damiano had filled your pussy, his cock surprising you, all of those sensitivities flared up and on high alert. You clenched, gasping as this shock overwhelmed you. “Daddy, fuck…”

“I was watching you before…” He said, lips close to your neck. “And it looked like you didn’t get to come, am I right?”

“Yes, yes you are.”

His teeth grazed over your skin, playful nibbles keeping your heart racing. “But you’re gonna come now, aren’t you?” His tongue swiped over your hardened nipple. “You’re gonna come all over Daddy’s cock, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” You moaned, your cunt clenching as you were hit by these new sensations, which were only accelerated by the near-forgotten aftershocks Ethan’s cunnilingus had given you. “Yes, please.”

He drove up into your dripping cunt, plunging in and making you moan even louder. You swung your hips into motion, the soggy rope shifting over your clit with every stroke.

He held tightly to your shoulders, his hips snapping up into you, his movements marked with whines and moans of effort. You put your hand to the back of his head, determined to keep his mouth set on your nipple, where his tongue was pushing you to the brink of insanity. Your mouth hung open, unable to draw in any substantial breaths. His body rubbed against yours with the most perfect and promising friction.

Ethan’s hands went to your hips and guided you further forward, increasing the collision of you onto Damiano. Ethan set his lips onto your shoulder again. He let you feel these movements more, his lips sinking in and lingering.

He ran one hand up the side of your neck, reaching across your jaw. You heard him draw in a sharp inhale. “You… baby, do you even know how magnificent you are? ‘Cause you are just so incredible.” His lips rested against your cheek and even though his breath was so hot, you still fell victim to a full-body shiver. “You look so…” He purred. “You sound so sexy.”

You turned to face him, reaching back and wrapping your hand around his arm. “You should fuck me then.” His mouth opened, but he didn’t say anything at first and you held his arm tighter. “Show me baby, show me and make me feel how sexy you think I am.”

He didn’t respond with words, instead bringing his mouth to yours with such ferocity that your heart skipped over a few beats. You whined against his lips, feeling your chest tighten.

But he left you far too soon, turning to collect some things from the closeby set of draws. In anticipation, Damiano had paused and you tried to catch your breath.

“And what are you smiling about, dork?” You asked, readjusting your arms around him.

He was beaming, shaking his head a little. “This is so… it’s totally mental, like how is any of this actually happening? How am I just allowed to watch the two most beautiful people in the world have sex right in front of me?”

You put your hand to his cheek, your eyes dropping to take in his lips as you moved in closer. “I’ve been wondering the same thing myself.”

You kissed him, drawing his top lip between both of yours. His hands moved tenderly across your back, gently stroking at what he could get at between the ropes.

You were distracted when you felt Ethan’s hand on your hip, squeezing firmly. Pulling away from Damiano’s mouth, you were instantly greeted by the scent of mint and chocolate - Ethan’s choice in flavoured lubricant. You turned to where you could feel him moving in closer.

“Tell me if it hurts…” He whispered.

You looked at him, nodding. “I will.”

Damiano redirected your attention with a guiding hand under your chin, bringing you back in for more kisses. He moved slowly, not trying to rob you of your breath.

This tenderness was mimicked by how Ethan began to initiate the necessary preparation. The lubricant on his fingers was warm as the tip of one finger tested at the tightness of your asshole.

This new stimulation had you moaning heavily against Damiano’s mouth, your already-sensitive cunt clenching upon his dick. He soothingly stroked your hair, keeping his hips perfectly still so as to not overshadow any of Ethan’s process.

This in-between moment held so much intimacy (and not just due to having Ethan finger your ass), the three of you quietly fixed on the same goal. Damiano heard every time your breath skipped. Ethan felt every slight reaction of your body, letting this explain your current state to him.

It was the most thorough and careful prep - reminding you of how intensive their aftercare was. But you hadn’t arrived at the after stage yet.

Each time you felt more of Ethan, you arched your back further, silently offering him more. His fingers massaged around and inside of you, tips disappearing in, followed by more of the length of his fingers. It made you squirm, it made you clench more upon Damiano.

You were stunned breathless when dick replaced fingers and you were feeling Ethan’s body heat on your back - a prelude to his skin against yours. You couldn’t continue kissing Damiano, instead just letting yourself become overwhelmed by all of this.

A curious observer to everything happening in your body, you let your consciousness spread out, so that you could drink all of these sources of pleasure in. You acknowledged every point of connection between you and each of your boyfriends - wanting to remember each sensation, wanting to remember the synergy that blessed you in this: the first time you fucked after telling them that you were in love with both of them.

You felt something bump at your side, looking down to where Ethan’s knee had hit you as he tried to figure out the best way to position himself. Damiano’s legs were forced to remain bent, eliminating the ease of adding Ethan. You could sit comfortably in Damiano’s lap but the space left between his legs for Ethan was limited. He seemed to be trying to decide if kneeling behind you was feasible, but his balance didn’t appear to be guaranteed.

“This is so many legs.�� You said, half-laughing.

“Ugh, we get it already.” Damiano dramatically rolled his eyes. “Ethan is so hung that he has three legs.”

“No, that’s not quite-”

“Lift your legs more.” Ethan told Damiano. “And then spread them as far as you can.” Damiano kept an arm around your waist, holding you steady as he pushed his knees further apart. “Yep, nice and wide, just like that.”

“Comfortable, sweet thing?” He asked as Ethan made his adjustments behind your back.

“More like thrilled.” You said, stroking Damiano’s cheek. “Overjoyed, elated, exhilarated.” You kissed him. “Do you want some more words, or does that just about sum up being in love and being fucked?”

He smiled. “I think that covers it pretty well.”

He brought you in for a deeper kiss and you followed him into this rhythm as you both awaited Ethan. He had found enough room under and between Damiano’s legs, all unnecessary space between the three of you was completely gone. You had both of them as close as you could possibly ever need them.

You turned your face to Ethan, reaching your hand out to rest on his cheek as you kissed him. Your other hand was busied amongst Damiano’s long hair once you had your arm wrapped around his shoulder. His lips moved across your neck, dragging and sucking without any discernible goal beyond tasting your skin.

It was impossible to know who made the first move, who set your bodies into motion, but your hips rocked forward - colliding, then grinding against Damiano’s. You whimpered into Ethan’s mouth as his body remained pressed to yours, moving with you.

You could feel the tension rising within you and you knew that sitting still was no longer an option. You needed the release, your whole body was crying out for it.

You couldn’t feel the rope and how it rubbed at your skin any longer - you were gliding, feeling only the sensations radiating out from deep within you. Your body weightless as it pinballed between the two of them.

Your lips left Ethan’s, your jaw falling slack in your desperate attempt to get some air to your lungs as Damiano kicked things up another notch. His mouth on your nipple had you feeling a greater surge of electricity through your body. You crushed forward into him with more energy as a new, higher peak came into sight - everything mounting just right.

Your breath left you in ragged gasps as he sucked on your nipple. Your gut clenched, your chest fluttered, your mind free of any coherent thoughts as you were being rocketed toward that edge. Ethan guided you forward, lips on your neck and a comforting hand on your hip as he worked through every stretch, every contraction.

It seemed impossible, but somehow it got better. The pleasure was building to another even grander height, orchestrated by Damiano and his deeper plunges into you. It wasn’t enough to simply meet your swings, now he was striving for greater impact. Your swollen pussy picked up each of his strokes, soon allowing him to hit against your core.

Your head felt like it was spinning as you slumped forward, all of your body weight landing upon him, needing him to breathe new strength into you.

There was no escaping it - from all sides, the powerful waves were eroding your composure. You were nothing but a quivering mess, at the mercy of Damiano’s enthusiasm and Ethan’s strength.

You rested your face against Damiano’s skin, grateful when his mouth left your nipple - any extra playing at your sensitivities could instantly lead to your undoing. You felt Ethan move in closer, then heard his lips working into an impassioned rhythm with Damiano’s mouth.

Trapped between their two bodies (getting completely covered in their passion), you had fully relinquished all control. There was no opportunity to catch your breath, not a single second that wasn’t spent driving you harder to the state of orgasm.

For every time that Damiano’s hips snapped into yours, Ethan was ready to catch you with just as much force. You were in constant motion.

Someone (possibly Ethan, but there was no way to distinguish one from the other any longer) grabbed at the bow that had been tied at your back - what was keeping your ‘dress’ in place. The excess at the working ends was being wrapped around your boyfriend’s hand - the rope being pulled tighter.

The constriction around so much of your body had your attention going to your heart and the feral quality of how it raced. You became obsessed with the idea of your release, which you were certain would result in you bursting on every imaginable level.

You were so close to becoming overwhelmed by all of this pressure. But you thought the moment of perfection was about to be within your grasp.

Daunting as it was - you swung into a quicker tempo, the little space that you did have was used for your frantic bucking. You needed your release, you needed the moment when the fusion between the three of you reached its pinnacle and you broke apart. You needed the break, needed the burst to reclaim yourself.

“Ff-uck.” Damiano gasped, his head slumping back to rest at the headboard. His eyes squeezed shut, the chords on his neck prominent and it was clear that the tension was in control.

“Daddy…” A moan, a desperate plea as you were jostled by the growing shaking in his legs.

He convulsed into you only a few more times before disappearing into his orgasm. He fell back, thoroughly spent as you kept your own release in your line of sight.

You laid upon him, grinding down and bringing a new pressure to your pelvis. The heat from this area began to radiate out as you continued to spasm excitedly around his shaft.

Your breath lodged into your throat and still, you felt Ethan pushing you down deeper. With every sensitivity inside of you activated and ready to overwhelm you - you started to scream out, the release finally upon you.

“Yes baby, yes.” Ethan coached, adding even more sparks to the fireworks already flying off within you.

The sheer power of the climax stunned and intimidated you. It wasn’t just your pussy that was beyond the point of regular stimulation, the orgasm was being drawn out from your heart and soul.

You were letting go in a way that was beyond belief, your flutterings turning nervous when you noticed a heavier feeling. You noticed a strange weight dropping from your gut, down into your cunt.

“Wait, wuh- ah. Fuck, oh… I-” Your thighs clenched as dread flew through you - memories of the past three instances of this strange sensation became present at the front of your mind. “Hang on, I- unf… oh, God- I… hang on, hang on, hang on, aah…”

Then it was a sticky, wet, shameful feeling snaking down both of your thighs. Your body went rigid but the urge to run was so compelling - your only option.

“Stop, stop, stop.” Your words were strangled, holding absolutely no authority as you pushed Ethan’s hands off of you.

But he instantly listened, letting go of you and giving you the space to flee. “Are you alright, honey? Is somethin-”

“I’m sorry.” Your legs weren’t steady beneath you, but you didn’t let that keep you from escaping. “I’m really sorry.”

“What’s wrong?” He called out, upon receiving no response he switched to calling your name. You kept on your way to the bathroom, knowing that you couldn’t stop, not while there was absolutely no way to explain yourself.

“What’s happened?” Damiano asked, his groggy voice remaining behind you. “What’d I miss? My eyes were closed. Wait, why am I this wet? This is a lot, right babe?”

They were discovering it, finding out that you were a squirter, something you had never intended to share. It was marking up your legs, the smell practically burning your nostrils. You were bumping into walls before finally arriving into the bathroom and instantly shutting the door behind yourself. You locked it and progressed to the basin, turning on the faucet - all the while keeping your eyes down so as to avoid physically facing yourself in the mirror.

You were too riddled with guilt to consider dirtying one of Ethan’s towels with this. Rather than spreading this shame any further through his clean home, you resolved to using wads of toilet paper to remove the cum from your legs.

You wiped away the sticky liquid, wondering how your boyfriends would look at you after this involuntary ejaculation. It had certainly changed the way Reace looked at you - your ex-boyfriend had complained about the mess for hours. It had been of particular concern to him that any of your moisture would seep through the sheets, to permanently taint his mattress.

You were grabbing for the bar of soap when you heard a gentle knocking on the other side of the door. “Are you okay, baby? Can you let me in- at least so I can get you out of the rope?”

“I ruined it.” You lamented, cheeks full of embarrassed heat as you opened the door only a crack. “I’m sorry, it’s totally gross and ruined now, but I-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Ethan said, coming into the room to stand with you. He hadn’t fixed his thoroughly dishevelled hair, but he had partially dressed himself and there were more items of clothing slung over one shoulder. “It’s definitely not ruined. This rope is kinda designed to get dirty. I know how to wash it, so don’t worry about that, please. Can I take it off of you?”

You responded by turning around, presenting the back of the intricate ropework to him. You wiped at your legs while he worked on the knots. Soapy water was trickling down to your ankles, but you still felt unclean.

“Are you okay?” He asked. “We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t wanna. But I just- I need to know that you’re okay, please.”

You sighed. “I didn’t mean to- I’m so fuckin’ embarrassed.”

“Because of…” He sounded so hesitant - clearly taking his time to select each word carefully. “Because of what happened when you came, and all of-”

“Don’t say squirt, please.” You squeezed your eyes shut. The relief you gained from him removing the rope from over your pussy was fleeting, a superficial feeling.

“Of course.” He said. “But if that’s why you’re embarrassed- you really shouldn’t be. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Are you sure about that? Are you sure it isn’t actually totally and completely gross?”

“Has someone told you that before?” He asked, working on the ties across your front without encroaching too much on your personal space.

You avoided his eye. “Yeah, there was this girl, just, like, a one-night-stand. And it happened during- she literally had two fingers inside of me and a toy on my clit. And she’s all like- come, come, come, so I did and then that extra stuff happened and like…”

“Did you wanna shower?”

“Um, I…”

“I bought you some comfy clothes, in case you wanted to.” He offered an explanation. “They’re mine so they’ll be a bit big, but…” You nodded and he placed the unbuttoned flannelette shirt at your shoulders. “Might help you feel better.” He started to fasten the buttons, covering your torso and the bright pink marks that the rope had left behind. “I’m sorry, you were saying before I so rudely interrupted you- this woman, she got more than she bargained for and she didn’t know how to react?”

“No, she knew how to react- she reacted with disgust. Right away, she started to freak out and got dressed and started to leave, even though that was early in the night. And she was saying that I should’ve included in my HER bio that I was into that kind of fetish, ‘cause she didn’t fuck with that. She said it was this gross thing that proved I wasn’t really gay, ‘cause clearly I’d learnt how to fuck from fetish, exploitative porn made by men for other men.” You stepped into the red trunks as he offered them to you. “She left and blocked me on HER, where we’d been talking for, like, a couple of weeks.”

“Right.” There was a look of thoughtfulness on his face as he folded the waistband down over itself a few times, creating some bunching in the red underwear. “Look, I don’t wanna mansplain the female orgasm here, but…”

“Is everything alright?” Damiano yelled out before Ethan’s point could be made. “I’d love to get up and help, but I’m trapped back here. Incapacitated, useless, tied down…”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re fine. I’ll be with you in a minute.” Ethan called back. He shook his head, lowering his voice to speak only to you. “So dramatic, he’s fine, the circulation to his legs wasn’t compromised. Anyway, we were talking about you- what you just did was totally natural and I’m not judging you for doing it, and I’m also not judging you for the times when it didn’t happen. It’s random but however, whenever it happens- I’m okay with it.”

“But I… there’s all this mess in your bed now…”

He shrugged. “So, what? I don’t care. The only thing I care about is you and that you’re feeling okay and that you know how loved you are.” He caressed your cheek. “And nothing that this gorgeous body might do during sex could change how I feel about you, ever.”

“You’re so sweet, you’re just, like, the best…” You wrapped your arms around his waist as he pecked you on the forehead. “Thank you, Ethan.”

“I just want you to know that you never have to feel ashamed of your body or anything it does, not around me, not around Dami either.”

“We should probably go untie him, huh? Before he starts planning how to 127 Hours himself out of the situation.” You said. “And then, I can strip the sheets off of your bed and wash them for you. And, do you have-”

He tugged on your arm, physically pulling you out of this train of thought. “You’ll do no such thing. The only thing you’re gonna do is sit on the couch, eat some gummy boobs and there’s a friend of mine I want you to message. About the hens party, I thought of an activity.”

“You thought of it, when? While we were fucking?”

“No, before all of that. But I guess I forgot to say it out loud. This drag queen I know, Sno- she hosts this weekly dinner, drinks and games set up where the whole bar plays Cards Against Humanity.” He said, accompanying you out of the bathroom. “I thought that could be fun and still very much an adult thing, without being graphically sexual.”

“Yeah- that might be legitimately perfect. Nadia loves Cards Against Humanity.”

“Of course she does.” He said. “Message Sno- Sno Secret, and she can let you know how far in advance you’ll need to book for a group that size.”

You smiled, your heart feeling light again. You turned to him, arms going to his shoulders as you kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you. I’m so happy we’re saying that now. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing it or saying it.”

Sno Secret (whose Instagram feed promised high-energy performances wrapped in colourful wigs and outfits) was available to talk to; she was very friendly after you had introduced yourself as Ethan’s girlfriend. She had all of the necessary information ready to share. By the time Damiano arrived in the lounge room, you were excitedly sharing this planning with the maid of honour.

He instantly slid into the space next to you, kissing you on the cheek before resting his head on your chest. “Everything alright, baby?”

You locked your phone, putting an arm around him. “Yeah, I just… I wasn’t expecting that, I guess that I wasn’t anticipating getting fucked that hard.”

“Yeah, baby.” He said, laughing.

“But maybe I should… I gotta get used to having loving, supportive and accepting boyfriends, eh?”

“You’re damn right you do.” He lifted his head from your breast, showing you a smile before he kissed you.

--- --- ---

"So you defected?"

You looked back to your own table - you had been waving to Nadia, who had ended up two tables away from you. You were seated with a handful of your sister's friends who you had never met before and you were very aware of the fact that you were the only one wearing a dress. All these women had known each other for years and so could easily fall into conversations, leaving you mostly silent during these rounds of Cards Against Humanity. But now one of them was talking to you - Carissa, if you remembered correctly.

"Pardon me?" You asked, smiling politely.

"Well, I coulda sworn that Nadia said you were queer and seeing girls and everything, a few months ago. But before, I heard you saying something about boyfriends, hm?"

Noemi, the woman beside her, looked at you with raised eyebrows. "Wait, did you say boyfriends- as in, more than one?"

"That's what I heard, but I guess I could be wrong…"

You swallowed, noticing how everyone at the table was now looking directly at you. "No, no, you heard correctly. I am currently seeing two guys."

"Two?" Noemi repeated and the others were sharing murmurs of amazement.

"So you didn't just defect, you're really trying to wipe out any hints of being a lesbian, huh?" Kara asked.

"No, well, I mean… it's not like that, I kinda just met them and things-"

"Do they know about each other?"

You nodded. "Yeah, I met them on the same night, so it's always been all three-"

Noemi raised her hands before speaking over you. "Wait, wait, wait, are you saying that you are having sex with two guys at once? That's so mental." She laughed then quickly stopped. "Sorry, I just- two men? I can't imagine anything worse…"

"I would literally rather die." Carissa said.

"Are you a nympho or something?" Kara asked.

You felt like your head was spinning and all of the fries you had eaten before had clumped together in your stomach, a heavy sludge. For a second, your vision was blurry, until you blinked. Tears, you curled your hands into fists under the table, you could not start crying now - not here in front of these strangers and their critical eyes.

"I don't see myself as a nympho, I see myself as a lucky girl who gets to be loved by two wonderful people and they're so supportive, I mean, they helped me throw this whole thing together. They're great guys…"

Noemi made a face, implying her skepticism was still holding firm. "You say that now, but when they, and you, figure out that they're actually just gay…" She shrugged. "We'll see, sweetie. But you're young, we all need heartbreak to teach us how to grow."

"Well they are gay. And so am I. I met them at a gay bar." You said, your voice getting louder and you had started to grip your phone.

Carissa was watching you carefully as she swirled her straw around in her drink. "And you identify as…?"

"Pan or bi, I guess, I hadn't-"

You were drowned out by condescending laughter, the women sharing knowing looks. You clenched your jaw and looked down at your phone, activating the screen to check for some notifications that could give you an excuse to stop interacting with them. There weren't any - instead you were looking at your unobscured lockscreen, a photo taken by Damiano of Ethan, fallen asleep, sitting up at his dining table.

Your heart hurt and now it felt like your stomach was dropping, heavy enough to fall out of your ass. You wanted to hear their voices, you wanted their strength.

You unlocked your phone, opening up the gay baes chat window and started to type a message. You heard Kara's voice and it was clear she was talking to you, you raised your head slightly.

"Sorry, I just- ugh, I've dated bi-girls before and- they are record-breakers for how quickly they cheat…" She barely choked back a laugh. "I guess that wouldn't be a problem for you though, right? No, really, why would you need to go fuck someone else, you have two cocks at all times, right?"

"Hey, hey, go easy on her…" Noemi said.

You sent a series of frowning emojis, need to talk, can I call?

"I used to say I was bisexual." She said. "But then I actually tried to have sex with a man and it scared me not straight."

Ethan's response came through first, call.

"So I guess the opposite is true of you then, hm?" Carissa asked. "I'm just trying to understand, you see."

What's up babygirl?

"Uh, I'm really sorry, I have to call my roommate." You started to get up from your seat. "They're blowing my phone up with messages, so…"

The lights dimmed and the music radically changed, alerting the bar that the second round of Cards Against Humanity was beginning. But you didn't care. You were rushing for the door, heading for the smokers area as your hand shook to handle your phone.

"What's goin' on?" Ethan asked.

You could feel the shake in your voice before you started talking and you didn't know if it was possible to phrase this in a way that didn't sound pathetic. "I need to… I can't stay… muh- my sister's friends are all being so mean to me…"

"What?" Damiano half-shouted.

"Well, not all of them. But I…" You tried to inhale a calming breath, but the tears were threatening more than before. "I can't go back in there, I can't. They're judging me, so hardcore and I just feel… they're acting like I'm an exhibit in a zoo or something."

"What are they saying?" Damiano asked.

"They're…" The tears burst out noisily. "They're being homophobic."

"What?" Ethan's voice was so loud.

"But they're at a hens party for a lesbian. That's a bit counterproductive…" Damiano said. "Like, read the room."

"What are they saying to you?"

"It's…" You started to sob. "I can't- can you… could you-"

"What's going on, are you crying?"

"I haven't been to that bar in ages, who do you think is closer, Dam- me or you?"

"Uh, I reckon I am." Damiano said. "I can get an Uber."

"Thank you." You whimpered. "I just- I can't drive like this."

"No, no, it's fine. We'll drive you home." Ethan said. "I'm gonna get an Uber too. Just hold tight. Everything's gonna be fine, okay?"

You exhaled shakily. "Okay."

"Do you have your vape?"

Your fingers were shaking as you tried to work the zipper of your handbag. "Y-yeah, in my bag."

"Great. Take some hits from that, get your breathing under control and we'll be there before you know it." Ethan's voice was perfectly calm, soothing you without actually gracing you with his presence.

As opposed to Damiano, he sounded out of breath and befuddled when he spoke next. "Where the fuck are my pants?"

---

You continued to hide outside, missing out on the rest of the party game as the tears on your cheeks dried. You blew out consistent columns of smoke, relieved to be left on your own until Damiano arrived. He made a quick approach to where you sat in the designated smokers area.

He held you close, listening to every word as you recounted all of the unpleasant encounters from the night. He didn’t interrupt you, silently listening, even though you could tell that he was desperate to start ranting.

By the way that his nostrils kept flaring - you were certain that his mind was overflowing with expletives. But he let you explain everything as clearly as possible. He let you talk until there were no words left, until he knew every shitty aspect of your night.

Then he let you rest your head on his shoulder, stroking your back and saying all the right things. Most importantly, he didn’t insist on you going back into the bar to face all of this.

This was backed up by Ethan when his Uber pulled into the parking lot - it went without saying that you couldn’t leave without a face-to-face goodbye from your sister. But any unnecessary interactions with her friends were eliminated when he offered to go inside and fetch Nadia himself.

She came outside, raising no questions regarding your lie to get out of the rest of the night. You told her that your period had arrived earlier than expected - bringing with it very painful cramps. She took no issue with this average problem requiring two boyfriends to escort you home. She just hugged you tight and thanked you for putting an excellent hens night on.

“The whole thing was Ethan’s idea, actually- he’s the one you should be thanking.” You said.

“Ethan.” Nadia cheered, grabbing him for a hug next. This was completed with a noisy kiss on his cheek, which told you that your sister had consumed enough tequila for a pleasant glow to come across her vision. “You see, I knew I loved this guy, from the first second I saw him- no, I’m serious.”

She had one arm around his shoulders and you wondered if this was a gesture of friendship, or done in the interest of keeping her intoxicated self upright. “I saw this guy and I was just like, this is the guy right here. I knew that I could trust him and not just ‘cause he looks like a Disney prince, you know, without all the hollow corporation bullshit. Just so ridiculously handsome, in the least threatening way possible.

“And this guy, too.” She gestured to Damiano. “I love this guy. Finally, a guy weird enough for my sister. And I mean that in the best way possible…”

“And I take it in the best way possible, Niddy.”

“Oh baby, uh-uh.” You said, taking his hand as you shook your head a little. “That’s more a niche nickname- you gotta work your way up in the friendship department before-”

“Nevermind that. He’s allowed to use my nickname, it’s not like he’s some stranger or anything- this is my little sister’s boyfriend.” She said. “Sure, we don’t know each other very well yet, but we’ll get there. And I should get used to it, ‘cause I have a feeling- I can sense, I’ll be hearing him use it for years to come.

“No, I’m serious.” She stressed, even though none of you had said anything to voice skepticism over this statement. “I really think you guys are gonna find a way to make this last. I don’t know how and I don’t know how three people can be on the same wavelength- but y’all are doing it. And I reckon that’s amazing.”

You resisted the urge to hide behind Damiano - you weren’t used to your sister having so many things to say. You were worried of what might come next, in her current state, you knew it was entirely possible for her to stumble her way into sharing an embarrassing memory.

“Y’all? Sheesh, you really are drunk.” You said.

She scoffed. “It’s my hens night- I’d be doing it wrong if I was still sober.”

“Do you need me to walk you back in?” Ethan asked.

She waved this away, starting to stand on her own two feet, no longer leaning on him. “No, no, you need to take care of my sister.” She reached both hands out for you. “Oh, you know what always cheered us up when we were kids?” You accepted her hands into yours - the smile on your face stiffened with worry. “The Parent Trap.”

You relaxed, thinking back on the countless times you had watched that movie during childhood. The two of you would practice your English accents and mimic your favourite lines tirelessly. “Well, that’s because that movie is a masterpiece.”

“I’ve never seen it.” Damiano said.

“I’m changing my opinion on you.” She said. “Because I’m very disappointed in you, very. No, I’m totally kidding. But for real, like, keeping it one hundred with y’all right now- I have never, ever understood her taste in men. But you- I’d kiss you full on your pretty mouth. And him too.”

She had managed to find a way to embarrass you and you grabbed her wrist to keep her from pointing at Damiano for any longer. “Okay, let’s not follow this thought any further…”

“I’m not going to, obviously.” She said, making you cringe all the more. “But I could.”

“Okay.” You shouted, loud enough to succeed in cutting her off. “You really need to get back inside before you miss the whole end of the game.”

She didn’t resist the hug that you forced upon her. “Message me when you get home safe. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

The three of you hesitated from immediately getting into your car - taking a pause to ensure that Nadia made it inside without tripping over her own feet.

“Giddy Niddy, I get why you call her that now.” Damiano said once she was out of sight.

“Yup, so she’s having a great time at the party.” You said. “And that’s all that matters.”

“I’ll drive.” Ethan offered and you plucked your keys out of your bag to hand to him.

“Thank you.” You pecked him on the cheek before making your way around to the passenger side.

“Whose place, mine?” Damiano asked.

“Sure.”

Aside from the radio playing (an easy to ignore mix of the currently charting songs), the car was silent. You didn’t have any funny stories from the night to share. Sitting behind you, you had no way of knowing what was keeping Damiano so quiet. But whenever you glanced across at Ethan, it was clear how upset he was. He didn’t take his eyes off of the road ahead, smoking his cigarette, wearing an expression that went beyond his usual level of seriousness. He was actively frowning.

You reached your hand out, resting it on his thigh. “We can leave all of this stuff out when Sno asks how the night went…”

“I just don’t get how she can have friends that are so close-minded…” He said. “And it’s not… I’m not saying that she’s bad at picking friends. It’s nothing against Nadia, oh at all. But like, people who are that fuckin’ prejudiced- shouldn’t they just all be lumped together? Hanging out and keeping all that negativity to themselves?”

“Like in a dumpster.” Damiano offered.

“Exactly, thank you.” Ethan said. “They can take the burning hatred that they’re spewing out- take that back to their dumpster and have a lovely dumpster fire.”

“It’s okay. I’ll just make sure that I get a look at the seating chart for the reception and get them far away from our table.” You said.

He shook his head, giving your hand a squeeze as he waited at a red light. “You shouldn’t have to do that. You, we- we shouldn’t have to spend the rest of our lives avoiding people like that, worried of the unsolicited opinions, and from members of our own community. Is that- how is that happening, that we have queer people trying to shame us ‘cause we aren’t their correct version of queer. Really, that’s what we’re doing?”

“It’s okay, love.” Damiano said, attempting to soothe Ethan with a stroke on his shoulder.

But it didn’t work. “No, it’s really not. Why is it not okay that I love you and you? Why do I have to limit myself, why should I be made to feel ashamed?”

“No Damiano, he’s totally right. There’s nothing okay with any of the shit those cows said to me- asking me if I’m a fuckin’ nymphomaniac, what? Who does that? I’m meeting them for the first time and they’re treating me like a pervert or a sex addict. And it’s at a party that I planned, to celebrate my sister. What the actual fuck?”

“You shouldn’t have had any cause for crying tonight.” He said.

“Yeah.” You said, letting the outrage take over for the moment. “It’s disgusting. They are the ones who should feel shame.”

“Damn right.”

“So, right now- sorry Dami, you’re wrong. Nothing is okay. Right now, all of this completely and utterly sucks. It’s a mess and I hate it and the only thing getting me through is having you and you.” You took a pause, composing yourself, unclenching your fists and adopting a softer tone of voice. “It’s gonna get better, it’s gotta get easier. But until it does, we’ve got each other.” Ethan gave your hand another squeeze. “And I couldn’t ask for better, more supportive, more wonderful partners. Partners who are so damn hot that they can even turn the head of my gold-star-lesbian of a sister.”

Ethan laughed a little. “Yeah, she really said that, didn’t she?”

Damiano leant forward in his seat, getting closer to the two of you. “What was that movie you were talking about, Parents Trap? Tell me what happens in it, maybe I’ll recognise it.”

“Okay, so it’s Lindsay Lohan in the nineties. Except there’s two of her, ‘cause they’re twins. Except they don’t know about the-”

“Wait, wait, wait.” He cut in on your synopsis. “Twins? Twins are creepy as Hell.”

“It’s not The Shining, darling.” Ethan said. “These ones aren’t creepy.”

“No, I’m tellin’ you- there’s always an evil one.”

“That sounds like an assessment backed up by a lot of scientific evidence.” You said sarcastically, making Ethan laugh.

“So it’s a scary movie, then?” Damiano asked.

“No, you literally couldn’t be more wrong if you tried.” You said.

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Ethan said. “I’m sure he could find a way.”

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