wanted to post my coronation day peach x mx art from twitter .. heard you all were starving. plus this ship is recognized by mx's creator razzledazzledoo so have fun

follow me on twt @/pinkadeparade + reblog > likes

another night out on earth

recommend ghibli movies to watch

HI NIA

you’ve obviously already watched spirited away (fist bump) so here goes:

- grave of the fireflies: this one BROKE me, in a crooked, beautiful sort of way.

- my neighbour totoro: literally nothing happens in this film. it’s one of the most relaxing collection or frames ever.

- princess mononoke: indescribable, sorry. just watch it. work of art.

- kiki’s delivery service: you’re a late teen, i’m assuming (or something close enough😭), this is one of the standalones in the ghibli library, meaning it’s kaafi different from the others, but touches very vulnerable emotions jaise “growing-up anxiety”, loneliness, wagera.

- ponyo: CUTE.

- howl’s moving castle: this film made me want to become a girl so bad. also the soundtrack will be running in your mind for days.

- castle in the sky: i never thought i’d describe a film as rich, but this one really is. you’ll be orgasming at the visuals (apologies).

- porco rosso: fantastic ending. deals with serious themes. and THE FLASHBACK SEQUENCE ugh. beauty.

- the wind rises: ye wali toh hit karegi. it left me cursing it for not being 100 hours long. i wanted to stay in it, you know? the urge of practically living INSIDE a film.

these are only all the ones i’ve watched, there’s more ghibli beauty out there, thankyou SO MUCH for asking this😭

I miss your more frequent post of 'before', but support your decisions about your privacy. Hope your now toddler is doing well and bringing gummy kisses and sticky loves and smiles of glee into your life. Also hope your current employment is filled with satisfaction, feelings of success, lots of praise and appreciation for who you are and all you do! Sending you all good wishes.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you!! Yes, all of the above is happening, all at once, which is overwhelming in how downright lovely it all is right now. Or lovely in how downright overwhelming it is. Sometimes a moment of total toddler overwhelm ends in a burst of total joy. Anyway I’m loving it.

I think I might be starting to hit a groove where I can find a way to get back to writing more.

what other website can you have this experience on

I Spend 4 Minutes and 7 Seconds Testing Tumblr’s Limits before being Foiled by the Click and Hold Menu, by Fallout Boy

whoever curates the art for the tumblr search page cover. thank u

3000 posts!

god it really has been four years on this hellsite huh

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

super late doodles but fionna and cake was very good

this blog is brought to u by someone unmedicated

i NEED to tumblr more what has happened to me

another tlt comic, ianthe's new arm.

(guys this took me 60 plus hours... please say something nice to me..)

Any Best Lawyer sightings lately? I know you are meant to be together!

There are some things that I can say with near absolute certainty, and other things that feel entirely unknowable. And then there is the maddening third category: things that almost simultaneously feel completely certain and totally, wildly unknowable. One of those third category things, for YEARS AND YEARS, has been and continues to be the appearance of Best Lawyer in the sit-com/soap-opera/fantasy-blog version of my life.

That is to say, there will be things that happen that make me think, yep, I bet *this* is the last time I run into him or *that* will turn out to be the last place I ever spoke with him...and then some weeks or months or years later he pops up again. Lately I have not had any direct contact, but I’ve been in touch with friends who are sometimes in his general area so I don’t rule out the possibility that there might be a sighting at some future time, and now and then I’ve looked up something he’s been involved with work-wise, which has included some videos. What’s funny about seeing what he’s up to now, some distance removed from the time and place we worked together, is I can see him now more objectively as a dorky human and not some untouchable idol. While his mannerisms, jokes, hair, clothes, smile, walk, and way of speaking are the same — and almost just as cute to me now as they ever were — now they seem normal, as in average! If we hadn’t had such close encounters, and such shared perspectives and ways of being, back in those intense and formative moments of my work life, I might not look twice if I randomly met him for the first time now. Or maybe I’d be bolder because I’d recognize us as more like equals. Who knows.

I do know it only takes listening to any of the songs I had on repeat back in those days during my commutes and workouts (prime mind-wandering times) to put me right back in the mindset of, aww, all of that was really very adorable and entertaining, and I could very easily stoke the flames of the (mutual?! will we ever know??) crush, should the opportunity ever present itself.

One theory I have is that in 10 or 15 or 20 or 30 years the time will be right. Lol.