i keep "based on your likes" on out of like, morbid curiosity about tumblrs shitass algorithm (i think it goes, i [tumblr user J] like a post by tumblr user A. tumblr user A likes posts by tumblr user B, tumblr user C, tumblr user D. tumblr user J gets shown all of tumblr user As likes. i must have liked a post by someone who only likes posts about religion because i am getting a steady stream of almost harrowingly (derogatory) christian posts.

TIKTOK SENTENCE STARTERS PART 6

some of these are quotes from tiktok creators, and some are from various other forms of media that were popular audios/trends on tiktok  

❛ Guess who didn’t eat me out last night? ❜

❛ I don’t know if I’m on my period, if there’s a star out in the sky that moved too far to the left, or if my brain chemicals just went ‘uuggghhhh’, but I’m sensitive and violent right now ❜

❛ ‘Ugh, why are you girls always going to Target?’ Ta get stuff. Duh. ❜

❛ Don’t act like you’re above wearing a cowboy hat for a tiktok. Oh! Handsome cowboy! Handsome cowboy! ❜

❛ How fucking elaborate do we have to make this fight?? Get down here!! ❜

❛ It continues to redefine ‘family’ as meaning: ‘some dudes who ate at my house’, instead of people you share a bloodline with. ❜

❛ What’s more American in this nation of living paycheck to paycheck than living your life a quarter mile at a time? ❜

❛ You’re gonna fuck the bee?!?! ❜

❛ I need a trenta cup of heavy cream. ❜

❛ If there’s one thing about me, it’s that I’m gonna dilly dally. I am a dilly dally-er. ❜

❛ You’re taller! How fucking dare you. ❜

❛ Santa sent his deer to fuck your shit up cause you’re on the naughty list. ❜

❛ How many times do I have to tell you mind control doesn’t work on me? ❜

❛ I have never seen a creature look more like a rotisserie chicken, and I am including every rotisserie chicken I’ve ever seen. ❜

❛ You can actually have two loving and supportive parents and still end up weird and unstable. ❜

❛ Blaming it all on my father really takes away all the work that I put into making me the worst version of myself. ❜

❛ I want my mom to come home but if I call her and say “mom I convinced myself that the dog is a shapeshifter again.” she’s going to think I’m crazy. I’m not crazy! ❜

❛ Kill me or come cuddle with me, 'cause you’re freaking me the fuck out. ❜

❛ I mean these days I just be wondering like, will I ever feel fergalicious again or is it just over? ❜

❛ If I go missing please do two things: one - check near the parking lot of Sears, two - arrest Billy Ray Cyrus. ❜

❛ Daily affirmation, repeat after me: I am not the bigger person. I am the smaller person, who is prone to pyromania. ❜

❛ Why are they playing Shrek songs in church? ❜

❛ She gave me trauma beyond human comprehension. ❜

❛ Girl if you don’t get your coochie sticks out of the uranium bin… ❜

❛ The children yearn for the mines. ❜

❛ Alright here’s a lesson in physics… that’s not how physics works. What the fuck just happened?! ❜

❛ Run like you’re being chased by the love of your life but you’re not ready to love him yet, you still got some learning to do! You have to love yourself first! ❜

❛ Hate me or don’t hate me, but if you put holy water into a humidifier you won’t have a vampire problem. ❜

❛ Awwwww shit. You don’t know about doing whatever the fuck you want? Damn. I’m sorry. Hope you find that someday. ❜

❛ Shh! Don’t bother me, I’m having enrichment time in my enclosure. ❜

❛ Quite frankly, I don’t care where you taking us, cause anyone with an ass like that gotta be blessed and highly favored. So why wouldn’t I follow gods child? ❜

❛ What the fuck did Dora say? Where are we going? To follow that ass! ❜

The Church on Ruby Road (spoilers)

Oh my god! I absolutely loved that! Ncuti Gatwa is phenomenal. He's got so much presence right from the start, and there were some lovely little Doctor-ish quirks that he got across very nicely. I particularly liked his disdain for the Goblins' supposed time travel, him loving the name Lulubelle and the way he rattled off his police interview answers (though the bit about the proposal was perhaps a little too Sherlock). On a sadder note, his 'maybe I'm the bad luck' line was also delivered really well.

Ruby Sunday is pretty cool too, though I'm not quite as sold on her yet. Millie Gibson's performance felt just a trifle stilted to me, but I hope that goes away as she relaxes into the role. I loved her family, especially her gran. It's so nice to have a wider companion family like this again. We got it a bit with Yaz (and sort of Ryan and Graham), but I hope we get to see a bit more of this lot!

I wasn't sure what I was going to think of the Goblins, but I really like the alternative physics time travel thing they have going on with the language of luck. The Doctor's line about learning the vocabulary of rope was great; some real 'resonating concrete' vibes. But yes, the Goblins were fun and interesting. I don't know if they'll become anything particularly iconic, but not every villain needs to be.

The musical number was enormous fun. Obviously the first part was released ahead of time, but the Doctor and Ruby launching into a second part was unexpected and fantastic. Ncuti has a damn good voice. There have been questions about whether a musical episode of the show could work before, and I'm definitely here for it if there's ever a plan to give us more than just one song! Ruby's own ability to sing (improvisationally!) was also quite nicely set up with her being in a band.

Perhaps the best part of the episode was when Ruby was taken out of time. Her mum being a far more jaded and unhappy person, with even the lighting getting dimmer, was incredibly effective. Her declaring she was happy alone with tears in her eyes, the Doctor also crying, really got me. Ncuti's performance throughout that as well gave me a lot of faith in what's to come (not that I needed any, given what I've seen of him in Sex Education). (That 'then why are you crying' also had more than a hint of Amy crying for Rory.)

I have to mention the timeless child stuff. As with what he did with the flux in Wild Blue Yonder, I'm over the moon that RTD is taking things from the last era and actually doing stuff with it. I know there will be people angry about it because they expected him to retcon the whole thing, but I far prefer this approach. Granted, I never minded the timeless child stuff that much (unlike the flux), but it was really effective having the Doctor actually bring up the fact that he doesn't know where he's from. I wonder if RTD is planning to do anything more with it, or if it will just be used as character and relationship building material.

Smaller stuff:

We got another mavity mention, so is this just here to stay or is it part of a longer arc?

The way the gloves work didn't make sense to me. The way the Doctor explained them was as if the weight just shifted to the glove (which makes sense for making balancing and gripping easier), but if that's the case where does the extra weight come from when pulling the rope down? Oh well, I'll just imagine they're magic weight deletion/creation devices and move on with my life.

That spike through the Goblin King at the end was brutal! I'm surprised they were allowed to show it. No blood or anything, I suppose, but still!

Ruby's mother (we presume) was somehow still walking away after the Doctor's whole escapade with the Goblins. Bad directing (I might have bought it if she were much further away on a long road) or an indication of more at play? Either way, presumably this isn't the last of that plot thread!

What the hell is going on with Mrs Flood? When she was watching the Doctor towards the end, I thought it was pretty strange, and then in the mid-credits sequence I started to wonder if she was something more than she seemed. Then came the look to camera and her line about TARDISes… Technically, this could be a weird little moment a la Feast of Steven, but it seems more likely something else is at play. The Toymaker could bend the rules of reality, so perhaps she could be part of the legions he mentioned, able to break the fourth wall at will. We shall see, I suppose!

someone in the watch party today (sorry, I don't remember who asked this!!) asked if we could make the next installment in dialovers, what would the game be like? and I didn't have a good answer at the time but I thought about it a lot and I think I've come up with it lol

(sorry this is a super long post, I went into way too much detail. cw for canon-typical dialovers stuff including suicide and incest)

so I started by thinking of which parts of dialovers haven't been adequately explored yet, in my opinion, and that got me thinking about yui specifically. I've seen posts lately saying that the more recent dialovers content has been about the relationships between the boys more than it's been about yui and her partner, which is a trend I've noticed too. I don't hate this trend, because closely inspecting the familial and friendly relationships in dialovers is honestly my favorite part of it, but the big drawback of it is...what about yui?! is she not also a part of our big fucked up family! shouldnt we also be analyzing her character! shouldnt she have full character arcs of her own in the games!! a close reading of the non-romantic relationships and an important, central part for our main character...we CAN have both things!!

so I decided I wanted my hypothetical dl game to have a plot that revolves around yui's character. it's my interpretation that some of her themes are family, belonging, feeling loved and wanted. the very first thing that happens in dialovers, where our story begins, is yui being abandoned by her father and left to fend for herself in a house full of people who want to hurt her. when her father shows up later and insists he loves her and wants to protect her, how can she believe him? she was left to die. even if she becomes close with the vampires as the story progresses, the fact that she was abandoned doesn't change, and it still hurts. and I used to poke fun at the scene where she finds out she's adopted, right? I was like "you're in a house of vampires, why are you so stressed out about the fact that you're adopted? isn't that the least of your problems?" but that is the ROOT of the problem!! yui is learning that this isnt even her first time being abandoned. her birth parents didnt want her, her adopted father apparently didnt want her.......and that's why yui gets so heartbroken in scenes where she's abandoned or left behind by the diaboys. if not them, she has NOBODY to go home to.

yui wants to be loved! she wants a family that wants her too! she wants a home where she can stay with people who love her and will protect her! so what's a good way for us to pick that apart in a dl game?

I imagine the church contacting her again; it wouldnt be the first time it's happened, but I don't want yui to just be able to say "no thank u" and start a gunfight and then walk away this time. I want the vampire hunters in the church to capture the diaboys, injure them, lock them up, all under the guise of protecting yui. with her loved ones taken, yui cant just refuse to go with them—so she has to, and this game mostly takes place in a church as a result.

now that yui isn't clueless about what the church does, the church intends to make her into a vampire hunter too. she can train there, and the members of the church will protect her until she can protect herself. (I imagine a named minor character will be her mentor and stuff.) they use sweet words that conflict yui a lot, insisting that they're her family (and these are probably people yui knows and grew up with, so they're not just saying it for nothing!!), using her religion to sway her opinion (this is the right thing to do, as one of God's children), yui would be able to help innocent people as a hunter, etc. Make her really think about what she wants and which "family" can provide her with it! It's not as simple as wanting to stay with her boyfriend. The idea that this family, the one she had been with before the events of HDB, who raised her....didn't actually abandon her and they really want her after all........it's tempting!! yui's heart is torn! she WANTS to believe that those people loved her!

but still, hurting the diaboys is too much. yui doesn't want to do that. throughout the game, yui visits [certain diaboy(s) depending on the route ur playing] to create a plan to rescue them. the members of the church figure out she's visiting them, and shake their heads and lament the fact that these demons have brainwashed her.....but they let her continue meeting them, because they want to show yui the how cruel and animalistic these monsters can truly be. they keep the diaboys starved, and even tempt them with yui's blood while keeping her just out of reach...and of course the diaboys get hungrier, angrier, more desperate...until they really do look like the monsters the church has been describing...!

"but nat, how am I gonna get sexy scenes if the diaboys are being held captive" dont you see, masochistic target audience?! it's about the DENIAL!! it's about the thrill of knowing just a few feet away, this vampire is shaking in desperation to go fucking crazy on you and the cell bars are the only thing stopping him from tearing into you right now, but who knows how long those cell bars will even last?! doesn't he seem to get even stronger and more violent the hungrier he gets— and when you finally get a moment together, with nothing between you, and he needs to make up for lost time...!!

[cough] anyway, we can graduate from masochism to sadomasochism, right? it's my game after all. caged vampires are sexy. and yui can sneak out to offer them her blood anyway, even if it means it will hurt a lot >///< so you'll get your sexy bloodsucking scenes, ok!! pic relevant. use ur imagination.

there's too many diaboys for me to go into detail about what their routes would be like, but to be flexible with it…I'd hate to just keep them in a cage the whole time, right? so let's think about what the church can do. kino's taught us that the church has weapons that can take away a vampire's powers temporarily. using those, it'd be easy to let the diaboys out so the church can use them for their own purposes. they can be threatened into doing the church's dirty work, for instance. they can be tied up somewhere while yui's mentor makes her take practice shots at them, that'd be an awesome scene!! we can put certain diaboys together and watch them turn against each other, we can keep them alone and watch how they spiral out of control………tons of fun to be had.

and the main villain? seiji komori of course!! that bastard!!! he's gonna have all sorts of chances to say the creepiest stuff to her in this game, ugh. all that stuff about yui being tainted by the vampires' evil, all that stuff about marrying her (eugh!!), or killing her if she can't be redeemed..........so much religious trauma here. he'll make a great, very hateable villain.

so yui has to strike a balance between obediently training as a vampire hunter and helping out the diaboys. the choices the player makes can probably be labelled as sadistic or masochistic, with the sadistic choices resulting in her treating the diaboys more cruelly (yknow, to pretend in front of the church members!! or is she not pretending...? heheheh) and the masochistic choices resulting in her treating the diaboys very kindly.

choosing too many sadistic options will give you an ending where yui sides with the church for real. depending on the route, she could become a hunter and kill the one she loves herself. or, after the church successfully gaslights her into thinking the diaboys were brainwashing her, she could think of herself as tainted by their demonic energy and take her own life in shame.

choosing too many masochistic options means the church won't trust her. it'll result in an ending where the church is out to kill yui and the vampires (again, the specifics will depend on the route). they'll treat it like a mercy killing, like yui had been tricked by the vampires all this time, and only the player will be left knowing this isnt the case :(

and when u pick the correct balance of sadistic and masochistic options, u get the vampire ending!! it's tough to describe the specifics because, of course, I'd like it to be different and uniquely interesting in each route. but in general, yui should come to some conclusions about her identity and where she belongs: her true family should be with the diaboys, I think that's obvious. they love her, they want her, they won't abandon her. she also has to reconcile stuff about her religion: what does it mean to her now, after all that? what is her relationship with God? does yui still think of herself as a sinful person for who she loves and how she loves them? is that what yui's religion has been about all this time, and can she recontexualize it based on her experiences? did yui learn something from her time in vampire hunter training after all?

and THAT'S the diabolik lovers game I'd make, if I could B)

🕊Adrian/64, 26, he/she

🕊Following from @sixtyfourk

🕊 I've gone to a Baptist church my whole life and been baptized there. While I don't remember an actual moment of "accepting Jesus into my heart," I have loved Him and prayed and read the Bible for my whole life, and I have read through the whole thing more than ten times. However, as I realized I was queer and began to see the hypocrisy of my church family, I became more and more anxious, depressed and scared of God and Christians, to the point that I stopped being able to read the Bible. I haven't read the Bible for about a year as of today.

🕊 Even despite my fears, anxiety, and doubts, God has always been with me, and I've been feeling Him calling me closer to Him. I've decided that I'm going to read through the Bible again (a different translation than I've ever read before) and blog my way through it. I want to grow closer to Him again and learn more about him, and I hope I can make more Christian friends on here.

🕊I refer to God with He/Him pronouns. I accept God as a father, mother, and parent, but I find the most comfort in using He/Him since that's what I grew up with, and I find it's a way to honour Him too.

🕊I'm Side A regarding LGBT stuff, mostly out of necessity for my mental health. However, I support Side B people in doing what they think is right, and I think they have a lot of wisdom in their views on friendship and community.

🕊I currently attend two conservative churches: a Baptist one (which is the church I grew up in) and a Lutheran one (where I am a paid musician). I am closeted. I feel much closer to God in the Lutheran church and I enjoy the liturgy. I would love to be able to attend an affirming Lutheran church someday when my life situation allows it. Even though I'm still scared of the opinions of my brothers and sisters at these churches and can't get too close to them because of being queer, I find that being there and helping them is still better than no church community. I'm not "married" to either the Baptist church or the Lutheran one and I love reading and learning about different denominations. I really enjoyed attending an affirming Mennonite church when I was away from my hometown for school.

🕊Please feel free to talk to me if you're looking for more Christian friends. I still have a lot to learn about God, but I want to learn more and I want more people who can help me along the way, especially affirming friends.

maybe this is a weird question but i found ur hints abt steve's background (trip to aspen, catholicism etc) super interesting and was wondering if u had other ideas abt what his childhood was like/random made up steve facts? brilliant update as always

thank you!!! i’m so glad you picked up on those little details bc i think they are so so fun to intersperse in fics <3 i have a very. very very extensive history of steve’s family and childhood so here are some little facts from the canon ive made up in my brain that also kinda show up in things to come

i think steve was born in new york and the harringtons moved to indiana when he was like 6/7 following his dad’s first affair. it was an attempt at like healing their family by getting away from the city and going back to his dad’s hometown. it worked out pretty well for his dad because they weren’t really New York Rich but theyre definitely Hawkins Rich so it makes him feel good about himself. it sucked for steve’s mom because she was persuing a career in fashion and the fashion industry in hawkins is like. being a manager at macy’s 

things to come is the first fic where i’ve ever officially made steve italian (on his mom’s side) but ive always thought of him as being raised catholic. once they move to hawkins, the harringtons start going to church every sunday but it’s more of a social/appearances thing for his parents than a genuine devotion. still, it’s very very very engrained in steve and it isn’t until 1983 that he starts to question if he believes in god in the first place

the aspen trip in my mind is the last time steve traveled with his parents beyond like family gatherings. i think when he was younger, they’d take him with them on business trips or vacations but steve kinda always hated it because he would just get left in a hotel room by himself so he started staying home

those long stretches of staying home alone for a month at a time around age 13 were when steve really learned independence. that bit about him having to call his parents for help working the oven or making doctor’s appointments and only being met with annoyance when he reached out to them is a big reason why steve struggles in school despite actually being naturally kinda smart. he just learned not to ask for help from adults and it left him confused about a lot of stuff

steve being won over by any adult who shows him even the slightest shred of kindness is what made me want to include owens at all <3 where the other kids can kinda sus out that owens can’t always be trusted despite him outwardly appearing friendly and empathetic, steve falls for it hook line and sinker. he loves ice cream!!

FINALLY, DR WIT LORE

I've been putting this off for ages damn anyways time to ramble about stupid rat man (this post is rather long so take that as you will)

alr I've figured to actually start writing about my ocs, here's one of them, Dr Timotheus Wittison (also expect stuff to be inaccurate because I cannot look up 'when did the church stop hating science' for the 10th million time, just to see the damn crusades instead of the 1850's timeline)

Ok ok so Dr Shittison babyy So he's on earth, Britain, it's the good ol 1850s, Dr wit is in his late 20s, has a wife and 7 year old daughter, the wife works baking and selling bread, Dr wit is a "scientist" of medicine and he sells 'cures' in bottles for the village (it's all fake, he never even went to highschool! L bozo (actually he doesn't have a degree of any sort either but shshs don't ruin his spirit)

Dr wit was originally born in the 1850s England in a city in a wealthy-ish family but they grew poor quick and while he was in a young age. they live in the countryside because of that and try to gain back their success by agriculturecontinuing off this his wife (her name is Madeline) moved to the countryside when he was 7 and they fell in love got married at 19 but he was very interested in science and the church hated that and same with his family (not his wife tho) anyways he's pretty much kicked out and he moved back to the city and adopted a girl with his wife (the kid's name is Clementine)

ok!history lessons with organs!

so during the 1853 to 1856 there was a war!!! the crimean war and is was originally just with Russia and Turkey but then England and France joined later on but the war opened alot of opportunities for cool stuff like modern weapons (shells, railways and telegraphs wow!) plus medicine was getting more popular too

anyways wit thinks he soooo smart and that he made a completely new crazy theory (he boiled water and learned that it can clean out most bad stuff in there) and he thinks wow! I'm soooo cool I can totally become a doctor or something special with that information learned!

he never entered highschool.

but don't break his spirits

anyways he tries to go learn but gets rejected because he never went to highschool so womp womp wommp but he is also kinda egoistical so he thinks 'well screw them in gonna be so cool' and tries to sell the boiled water off as good but it's the 1850s noone cares and alcohol literally is cleaner then normal water so that sucks. but now he's so sad because that was his golden opportunity and he lost it! L bozo but then field 54 comes (ok I still can't think of names but basically it's like a terf war there and 2 gods are fighting eachother for the whole planet) and one of them begans the need of scientists but picks out wit as one of them... now, wit is a smart man, he knows what's he's doing... so wit ACTUALLY FALLS FOR THAT AND LEAVES HIS WIFE, 6-7 YEAR OLD CHILD, HIS HOME, HIS SIMPLE LIFE IN EARTH stupid loser

so his wife and daughter also die from the scarlet fever too (when I say he took everything, I mean it) and they died but back to wit he's in field 54 and obviously he's not very happy. he realizes that all the people that are literally some either harmed because of the war and the violence from it or because the air really sucks and same with the dirt so they can barely grow anything not so cool

now he realizes just how screwed he is (I should've mention this earlier but he arrived into planet with 20 other scientists with actual degrees) and because there's a lot of competition for food and survival on the planet, everyone pretty much is bullying each other and making things alot worse then they should be just to be lucky and survive on the planet

and because wit is wit he moves his lab into his basement to avoid the harassmentand while being away from everyone else he starts reflecting on his past and decides he's either gonna upgrade or destroy the battlefields and begans messing with his body n stuff to make his vision better, all that stuff and he takes inspiration from a few lab rats he owned to make him the half furry rat half human thing

also ALL THOSE 20 SCIENTISTS DID DIE and he was assigned with a new project to make a messenger (the white rabbit project) the scientists all have the blueprints done they just need the real thing so wit in he moment of sadness decided to base the project over his dead daughter Clementine as tribute and he also gave the white rabbit actual human emotions even though the blueprints tell him not to do that

he makes the white rabbit (he doesn't call it Clementine tho just white rabbit) and the white rabbit is trans and is also beginning to question what the hell he is and he finds a photo of young wit and his family and freaks out because who's this girl who looks just like him???? who's this other lady standing nent to her??? and they verbally fight until wit finally says who odis (the white rabbit) is supposed to be and shows him the blueprints but odis sees the little note saying he shouldn't have emotions and gets mad, leaving wit and his house behind and moving into a broken up old apartment

much much later Dr wit gets news saying they'll need to hold something captive in his house and that person is wires yay! so he was caught stealing from the buildings near wit and because noone ever expected for anyone in the other side of the war to rob them, and they decide to keep wires captive/bait but no one really comes for him so wit feels bad and tries to get him to join his side of the war, wires doesn't care that much and is now kinda a roommate of wit but then wit also falls in love with wires but he doesn't do anything about because he's so loney he just shakes it off as normal

I'll make a post about wires a little later (here)

My Journey to Catholicism

Feel free to read or not. I just wanted to share my experience.

When I was a child, my family didn't speak about God, or Jesus, or religion at all, really, outside an academic context. My grandfather was a Methodist minister, and when we went to visit the grandparents, we knew we had to say "oh my gosh" instead of "oh my God", and if we were there on a Sunday, my brother and I would go to Sunday School and color pictures of Noah and the Ark until our parents came back to claim us. My parents told me I could choose a religion when I got older, if I wanted to.

When I was 12 my parents were getting divorced, and I huddled in my bed after dark, listening to them fight in the room above me, and I prayed to Jesus to make them stop fighting, to keep them together, to make the nightmare end. I prayed quietly, because I didn't want anyone to hear me. I was embarrassed to be bringing up Jesus at all, but it just seemed to me like the right thing to do when you were desperate.

When I was in middle school, I started going to youth group with my best friend at a Methodist church. I was struggling a lot with family problems and emotional problems, and that youth group was the first time anyone ever said to me, "It's okay to be broken. You are loved." I started going to a small girls' group, and they let me talk about my fears without judgment, and I never really understood the God-stuff, but I kept going through all of middle school, and it helped.

When I was a sophomore in high school, most of my friends were male, seniors, and Christian. One of them started an apologetics group at his house, and we talked about religion, about Christianity, and I learned a lot. I started listening to Christian music. Part of me wanted God in my life; the other part just wanted my friends to think I was cool for being into the same things as them.

When I was a junior in high school, everything fell apart. My friends had all graduated and moved away, and my mental health was very bad, and I started hanging out with a new friend group. All of them were atheists. I followed them to parties where I drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes. I let them convince me to try marijuana. I let people use my body for their pleasure. I made bad choices, and I hated God, because my friends told me to. I made jokes about Jesus, because my friends were making jokes. I was deeply unhappy.

When I was in college, I stopped drinking and smoking pot. I slowly, nervously tried to make my way back to God. I would sneak into Methodist services on Sundays, sneaking out again at the end before anyone could stop me and try to talk to me. At the same time, I was self-harming and giving in to same sex attraction and absolutely loathing myself. I felt completely lost. Untethered. Alone.

When I was a senior in college, I met my future husband. He is good and kind and he stuck with me and supported me through a lot of my mental health struggles, including taking a leave of absence from my university and checking into a psychiatric hospital for several weeks, which was immensely helpful. We didn't really discuss religion; we knew we both were "vaguely Christian, maybe." He was baptized, I wasn't. He was raised Catholic, but hadn't been to a Mass in years. We slept together and lived together before marriage.

When I was 23, we started going to a church that met in a high school gym. They were very nice and welcoming - aggressively so. They helped us join a Bible Study, and a small group, and convinced us to come to extra services on Wednesday nights, and it started to feel suffocating. We both began to feel uncomfortable, but when we tried to step back, the church folks doubled down. They wanted us to come to more groups. They wanted to "re-baptize" my husband, and they didn't like that we were living together but wouldn't tell is why. They wanted more tithing. We both had a bad feeling about it, and so we left.

When I was 24, we joined the United Church of Christ. It was a better fit for us, and I was baptized in that church. We participated in volunteer opportunities and made some good friends. My husband lightheartedly referred to the UCC as "fake church," because Catholic church, for him, was "real church." I was too nervous to go to "real church" because I knew absolutely nothing about Catholicism and it seemed ludicrous that someone from my background could join a church like that. We left that church when we moved across the country.

When I was 27, my husband and I finally got married. We went to the courthouse with a few witnesses. A few months later, I was visiting family and my husband was walking out in the rain on Christmas Eve when a UCC pastor ushered him into the church where it was warm and dry. My husband stayed for the service, and started going there every Sunday, and joined the choir, and even convinced me to join, too. He continued to call our church "fake church," and lamented about the lack of tradition in the UCC. He liked it, but he was never fully comfortable there.

When I was 28, we moved back home and I finally agreed to give "real church" a try. We were living in my own hometown, and I'd driven past the church hundreds of times, though never been inside. I was thoroughly intimidated, but I went anyway, and was surprised to find that I liked it. He explained the Mass to me - he explained, as I called it, "the rules" to me - and I was delighted to learn as much as I possibly could. I loved the predictability of the Mass, the ritual of Reconciliation. I loved praying the rosary and reading the Catechism. I loved the hymns and the daily readings and the crucifix. I couldn't get enough. It felt right. We started volunteering at St. Vincent de Paul, and through that eventually both ended up with jobs at Catholic Charities.

When I was 29, we started RCIA. It was a small town, with only one Catholic church, and my boss was sponsoring one of my fellow catechumens, and my own sponsor was a fellow volunteer at St. Vincent de Paul. I'd gotten to know the pastor pretty well through my work at Catholic Charities. Everyone was intertwined, and I felt like I was part of a family. I felt like I was finally home. I felt whole.

When I was 30, I was confirmed and took my First Communion at Easter Vigil.

It's been 5 years since I joined the Catholic church. There have been lots of ups and downs. We moved to a different city. COVID happened, and we stopped going to church. I had to leave my job and apply for disability. I struggled with sexual sin and our marriage suffered for it. I went 3 years without going to confession because by the time I felt comfortable going out in public again after COVID, I was so ashamed of my sins I didn't even want to think about them, let alone tell them to a priest.

And then we slowly started going to Mass again. And I started to remember how much I loved it. And I was jealous of everyone taking the Eucharist, I wanted that. I wanted Jesus.

And I still didn't go to confession for several months.

But finally, one day, I was ready. I was nervous and jittery but when we got there, there wasn't even a line. And when I went to confess, the priest was kind and efficient. It felt like the entire process had been orchestrated to be as comfortable for me as possible. And then - and then I was free.

Since that day, we've been going to Mass and taking the Eucharist every Sunday, and going to Adoration on Friday nights, and going to confession when we need to. And I feel safe and comforted in a way that I haven't in a long, long time. I've been reading G.K. Chesterton and listening to worship music. I've been praying and reading the Bible.

I know it won't always be like this - I know there will be more times when I struggle. When I don't pray, or read the Bible, or even go to Mass. When I can't get out of bed, or I end up in the hospital. But knowing that God is with me always, no matter what - that he's brought me through everything so far - is what matters. Whenever I'm hospitalized, I read the psalms, and I find great comfort in them. And that will never change.

I know that God loves me - that Christ died for me. What more could I possibly want?

Tags from @sky-sogira

*cracks knuckles*

Alright. Let's get into this. My faith may not be as strong as it once was, but my knowledge is unshakable.

Disclaimer: I am not a scholar, I am not a theologist, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I LOVE Sky.

Second disclaimer: I am not trying to preach to anyone, just put in my perspective as someone who grew up in Christianity.

So! The easy one. Lucifer was actually NOT really the devil's name first- Lucifer was the name of a minor Roman god. The god of the morning star, which shines very brightly. The name "Lucifer" MEANS "Bringer of light" and is the base for the names of the chemicals that make fireflies glow- Lucifern and Lucifrase? I probably spelled them wrong. When the Bible was being standardized, they took this name to show that Satan had once been both powerful and beloved, at least.... That's how my father told it. He was wrong about a LOT of things, so take that with a grain of salt. What IS certain fact is that Lucifer means "bringer of light" and WAS a Roman god of the morning star. This I am sure of.

Sky takes design elements from MANY sources, but the story is undoubtedly biblical. And that really shouldn't be a surprise, given that the bible is really freaking old and has quite a lot of stuff in it! Like.... A LOT of stuff and some of it doesn't make any sense at all. I mean, there was a law about if a thief got away before the sunrise, it was their stuff now or something? It's been a while since I read those particular verses, forgive my casualness but it's 7 am and I'm doing this off the top of my head while getting ready for the day.

Okay. Take a breath. You still with me? Good. Because I'm about to basically speedrun not only the bible, but my church's scripture as well- The Book of Morm-n.

I am censoring it because I have the name blacklisted after seeing so much hate and ignorance and straight-up MALICE on this website, so if you reblog this, PLEASE don't actually spell it out or I will not be able to view the post. Thank you.

So God (by whatever name you'd like) has his "chosen people". He helps and strengthens them and shows them miracles, yes? And as long as they listen to Him, they are blessed. Seems like a good deal to ME, but you know how it is with humans. Give them too much success and they get cocky. Turn their backs on God and start giving THEMSELVES the credit- Which.... Doesn't sit too well. Consequently, they lose His favor and his help until they humble themselves and realize it WAS thanks to Him they were able to get this far. Rinse and repeat for a few thousand years or so.

Basically, God is HAPPY to help out as long as you don't forget He IS helping. But humans are forgetful and they eventually fall away and need to learn they need His help. We call it the Pride Cycle in my church, and it IS a cycle. You see it over and over again.

Now, if we draw parallels and look at Megabird as "God" and perhaps Resh as "Satan", more things click.

Whatever happened in Eden was BIG. Like major ultimate, plain apocalyptic. And now the cycle of the spirits returning to Megabird can't continue because SOMEBODY had to mess it up with something more powerful than simple indifference. This wasn't just the ancestors turning their backs on Megabird, this was them PHYSICALLY UNABLE to return to the light because of the darkness.

And that's why Skykids were created. To do what they no longer could.

Now, then, if- As I believe- Resh is the king and Alef is the prince and they are not the same, then it also seems likely that Alef was the FIRST Skykid. Like an olive branch from Megabird- "I want you to come back. Please don't go further. There IS a way back, and I will give it to you."

To continue the comparison, it would be appropriate to compare Alef to Christ in this sense- The sense of being "firstborn", of being a PRINCE rather than a king.

And all the other Skykids ALSO fit this comparison because of the fact we lose our light and life so the spirits can go home.

But UNLIKE what is taught in Christianity, it is not a PERMANENT saving, evidenced by the fact that the spirits- and the Skykids- RETURN to the world. It is also possible that Alef was sent BEFORE the fall of Eden as a warning almost- Telling Resh all was not yet lost and he could STOP and be forgiven still.

But Satan's crime was pride and I believe it is the same with Resh. They want the power and the glory and the credit that rightly belongs to another- The being which MADE them. So of course he would not have stopped.

Of course, the Ark, Eden's name... There are other parallels to be made, and this is all just speculation from me based on what I think.

Ariana: The Making of a Queen

The first book in the Ariana Trilogy by Rachel Ann Nunes

Mormon Representation Level - 2.7 Stars

Summary - This is the story of a young woman named Ariana (Ari) who lives in Paris in the 1990s. At the start of the story, she has lost her brother, been pushed away from her parents, and fallen in with a party crowd. She gets married and has a child, but her marriage is full of ups and downs, and eventually ends after a tragedy. Then, she meets the LDS missionaries, learns about families being sealed, and starts to find new purpose in life - her faith holds her up as she makes friends, gets a degree, and works to reconcile old wounds. She also discovers new love, and hopes for an Eternal family one day.

Spoilers under the cut

1. Well written - 3 stars The prose and dialog feel like they would fit a more old fashioned story. It wasn't until I finished the first chapter and saw a mention of a TV that I realized it was in the 1990s, not the 1890s. Eventually I got used to it, but it never really felt as modern as it was supposed to be.

I'm not normally one to get hung up on plot pacing and structure, but it was all over the place in this book. I felt like Ari's life moved far too quickly from one moment to the next, and like I never really got to know any of the characters. What we do see of them is pretty flat. When we do see a character arc, they're all pretty much the same (sinner -> member of the church)

2. Fun level - 3 stars I enjoyed parts of it. I will admit that I was touched/felt the spirit at moments in the story and I was fully invested during some of the turmoil that characters went through. If you want to read a kinda cheesy story about a girl joining the church, discovering the power of forgiveness, and turning her life around, I wouldn't turn you away from this book.

3. Complex faith - 1.5 stars It's DEFINITELY a propaganda book. You can tell the author was trying to include lots of trials and doubts and questions, but they all show up in the same way they would in a conference talk. They get resolved quickly and rather miraculously, through sharing the gospel and turning to God. It doesn't make space for nuance, or living in doubt, or choosing a different path. The narrative is definitely saying "join the church and be faithful and your life will always be better."

The most poignant moments are when Ariana works to forgive people who have deeply hurt her. I will say the "spiritual" highlight of this novel is it's focus on the power of the atonement to forgive yourself and people who you thought you'd never forgive. It doesn't say you have to let people back into your life (Ari goes to see her ex in prison to tell him that she forgave him and tell him about the church, but doesn't really stay in touch with him after that or anything) but it emphasizes the power and healing that forgiveness can bring people on all sides. Even this feels a little over simplified, but you can tell the author is trying to show the complexity of it.

4. Homophobia scale - 2.5 Stars It never mentions queer people at all, but the amatonormativity is real. Basically every single character gets straight married eventually. Hard to headcanon anyone as queer.

5. Mormon weird - 3.5 stars It was very much realistic fiction throughout, and although a lot of the religious stuff could reasonably be swapped to other Christian faiths, there was some stuff that was uniquely Mormon. It was fun for me to read about missionaries, and callings, and giving talks in church, and the Book of Mormon, and a ton of other stuff that is just normal life for Mormons that I never see in fiction.

The most unique moment occurred at the end of the book, when Ari and her new husband are sitting in the Celestial room, and they look over and see Antoine and Nette (who are both dead) sitting in the room with them. People in the LDS church talk about seeing dead loved ones/ancestors in the temple often, but it's definitely not something I've ever read in a novel before.

6. Diversity of characters - 3.5 Stars They live in France, and I do not so idk if that will affect my judgement. There are a lot of blonde characters. I think that Monique might not be white, given the description of her and her child's hair? But I don't know. As mentioned before, no queer people either. However, the main character is a woman and most of the characters who help her, support her, and drive the plot forward, are also women.

7. Other problematic stuff - 2 Stars It really feels to me like the author doesn't know anything about drugs, or what people who do drugs are like. Everything before Ari joins the church feels like a cardboard caricature of a stereotype (I put this redundancy on purpose). That being said, I also don't know that much about drugs, so I can't properly judge, but it all just feels really hollow.

It also feels like the author doesn't understand the reasons why people might have issues with the church, or the reality that not everyone you recommend to the missionaries will join. There are just far too many coincidences for me. Far too many people who listen to one heartfelt speech from Ari and willingly accept the Book of Mormon, and 2 pages later they're getting baptized. That's not what happens, and I don't think it's what should happen.

Conclusion: It's not a BAD book. But I wouldn't really call it a good book either. If you're looking for a comfy churchy book that will make you feel good about being a member, this is for you. If you want a book that feels relevant and real, or a book that non-members could read to get a good idea of who we are -- that's not this book.

Beautiful Spouse Rewatches SPN 04x01

Lazarus Rising

OMG ITS CASTIEL TIME. LOVE OF MY LIFE. THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS. 

“Are we going to get away with all that blinking on TV?”

Told spouse that Jensen was buried under dirt for this scene

“being buried underground is the only way to make it legit”

“If Dean didn’t show up on the first episode of the new season, there would have been riots in the street”

“Thats an oddly shaped soft dirt man-sized hole” “Did they bury him in some shit hole?” “The trees don’t look like they’re down to me. I think that’s a weird shot” “The title card is pretty bad” “The red glitchy whatever the fuck” “I can imagine someone just saying to open it since the sign was open”

“Yes...breathe harder. We’re almost there” 🎶on a random Thursday in September🎶

MENS TITS

“Gotta have that stupid smile when you see the porno mags” “fucking condiment theft” “that noise is pretty fkn annoying. I’m not going to lie” “pretty awesome shot” “Sugar glass!!! Isn’t it just sheets of sugar?” “huh” “you would just hold the wires together to crank the starter” “not even one day back and you’re cutting yourself open” “let’s have a big bloody hug. Delicious” “this is the season where Dean starts to have that look”

The post-hell glow

“Is he bull-shitting or does he remember hell stuff later?” “he rode you out alright” “Star Wars reference” “there’s a heart on the door even” they’re married in real life

“Hug it out bro” “That was some serious panties” “nerd” “classy motel. He should be wearing a silk shirt” “first time we get a closeup of the amulet. Can you actually buy it?” “so he does remember things.” “2nd most important thing in life and you almost forget about her?” “titters” “Is this the room?” “Really? You’re going to kick your brother over a tramp stamp?” “slutty”

TO be clear - we support all sluts and whores in this house. 

“You are not invited then back to titters” “Lots of boobies in this episode” castiel

“Aw damn. That’s right - she gets fried” Isn’t this good horror? “It’s pretty decent” “They did a little eye click sound now” perky nipples

“Is he referring to the insurance commercials lady?” “sounds a little more gruesome than vaseline and a firehouse but it’s not clear where that fire hose is going” “what the fuck do the demons care about money for pie?” 🎶the boys are back in town🎶

“Do we see him now?” “I don’t know shit man” “is he going to be in the leopard print hotel?” “with the mirror on the ceiling? Oh my god. What a sex dungeon” 🎶church bells ringing in my head🎶

“Why are they lying to each other?” 🎶get caught with my pants down around an angel🎶

I mean they eventually do have their pants down in all the books I read

“Dude is probably dead. it’s not the answer you want” “is this when he learns about exorcising demons without talking? I don’t remember how he does it” “a little young to be Darth Vader but sure” just imagine watching this live

“Oh he’s been fkn ruby this whole time right?” “thats a fake ass scene. Couldn’t even bother with a stock photo”

“Oh this is the real sex dungeon. They were just fucking around before” “He’s drinking her blood right?” “calm your tits.” “that’s a really shiny knife there dean” “he’s rattling the roof” “fireworks!”

There he is!!!!

“First time I saw him - I thought he was a Russian dude from a shit show” “look at that fkn hair” “we need to figure out which one of us is prettier” “god he’s so fkn awkward” “they never use that line again about the volume” “they really worked the camera for this whole scene” “this show is finally good again”

Hey, I've been really enjoying CotC and also reading through all the work you've done for the translations of the Japanese game, as well as your thoughts and analyses of various characters and settings. One of your earlier asks you mentioned Prome being a heretic, which is fascinating to me bc I have no idea how that'd even look with how the cleric class and religion in the game story seem to be set up (even Mattias arguably wasn't a heretic per se, since Galdera was still part of the pantheon of Orsterra's gods). However I have been unable to scrape up any other information on Prome past what you mentioned in the one ask and general stuff about his stats, and I was wondering if you could explain his character a bit more, since his character story hasn't been translated or uploaded, nor has like, the recruitment card. If you can't, no big deal, I know the gacha aspect of the game makes it hard to learn the story of every single character and I'm sure I can piece stuff together when he eventually gets added to the worldwide release if I'm patient, but what you said did get me pretty curious about him. Thanks for taking the time to read this regardless!

I am very glad you're enjoying playing the game and even more so that you have watched our videos and read my posts! That makes me happy to hear! Thank you so much!

Prome is an extremely interesting character, I did call him a heretic as it is true. But, also not true. The reason he is considered one is because his views on the Orsterran religions is not of the norm, nor is it accepted within the church, but he believes it all the same. To put it simply, he's a "heretic".

Since you asked for a translation of his summon card, this is what it says:

A good and sincere wandering priest. He is well-behaved and admired by the people.

However, in reality, he is a "heretic" who denies the teachings of the Church of the Sacred Flame and preaches his own doctrine.

Prome is very loyal to the teachings of the Flamebringer. He grew up in a home of other members of the clergy, but as he grew up, he began to believe in his own way. Seeing the fault in the religious teachings and trust me, there is a lot of fault, you'll find out in Bestower of All's chapter 6 Part II! he now wants to share his interpretation. He's not aiming to prove the other way of worship wrong, just doesn't believe in that way.

He believes that the Sacred Flame is meant to purify, which technically isn't wrong, fire is used to do this, as it's one of its symbolic meanings. Fire is also meant to burn away waste to cleanse the world and start anew. He believes that the Flame needs to do this more often, so in Aelfric's place, he chooses to do so.

Knowing about the Chosen One and the rings, he does seek them out in order to gain Aelfric's approval. Despite being a little irrational, for lack of a better word, Prome is very dutiful and chooses to listen to the Chosen One when they tell him that his way doesn't seem fully correct. What I mean about this, is it's probably clear that the Chosen One does half agree with Prome's way, as they have to stop evil as well, but if death was an option to be avoided, I'm sure they would avoid that. So if Prome could teach sinners a well needed lesson, but give them a chance to atone for their sins rather than ending their lives, it is a better option.

What's also kind of nice to learn is people like Prome a lot. He carries a very welcoming demeanor when he recites his sermons, and though people recognize the way as different, a lot of people agree with what he says about the use of purification and the Flame. He also loves playing with children, which I think is really sweet. He gets along well with them, and they enjoy Prome's company just as much.

Without too much spoilers about the whole story, as this one is going to be uploaded very soon. (October 23rd for the Recollection, and October 24th for the Traveler Story)

In his story, another priest chooses to try and frame Prome for murder on one of the many targets Prome has attacked, but didn't kill, simply because the Chosen One said not to. When this happens, Prome asks the Chosen One if they believe he never did it, and seems relieved when the Chosen One says they trust Prome's word. It doesn't take long for the two characters to figure out who does it, thanks to a list Prome has about past sinners he's met.

That's all I will choose to say about the story plot specifically as it will be uploaded soon!

And that thing about Prome enjoying playing with children. After being framed for murder, one of Prome's first concerns was not being allowed to play with the children again. </3 Poor guy.

By the end of the story, Prome chooses to travel onwards with the Chosen One, and Marlowe (the priest from Millard's story) trust that the Chosen One will watch over Prome. Marlowe is a past mentor to Prome and one of the few people Prome trusts to support him.

Speaking of support, that's really all Prome needs. Someone to help support him and know when he may have crossed a line. Both Marlowe, and now the Chosen One, have taken this place.

That being said, if for whatever reason you want to ship Prome with someone. It has to be someone pure hearted to kind of "rub off" on Prome. Basically characters like Millard.

If you or anyone is interested in one day going for Prome in the English version, he would most likely be added alongside arena characters L'eeto (4th Champion) or Gertrude (5th Champion), as he originally released with Gertrude, but both her and L'eeto are weak to fire magic.

I was going to go into more detail about Prome and his story, but it will be uploaded soon, so I chose not to. I hope this was enough to pique your interest more until October 23rd/24th. Thanks again for the support!

Evil Author Day #2

February 15th is Evil Author Day - you can read more about it on Jilly James' site, but in short it's about posting titles or descriptions or parts of stuff that's not actually ready for posting, the evil part being that there are no promises what so ever that there will be more.

What I'm posting under the EAD-tag either isn't finished and might never be, or it could be considered finished only I'm not happy with it.

Either way: Enjoy. Or not.

Stockholm Syndrome and Misery

“Kurt... Your dad, I, look. He didn't come off in the best way, I have to admit that, but boo, you have to admit he has a point.” I do? “He loves you, and he wants what's best for you, and this? This isn't working. Yes, things are worse now because of Karofsky, but honestly? Things haven't really been okay for a long time.

“Karofsky might be who you're focusing on right now, but he's not the only one, and you know it. Even if they hadn't allowed him to come back, someone else would have taken his place, and then what? You gonna ask the school to expel them too? Where does it end? And what will you do when you can't hide behind coach Sylvester any longer?”

And that, that is pure resentment in her voice. Mercedes never had accepted the fact that coach Sylvester liked him better than her, that he'd stayed when she left, that he'd had success as a Cheerio. It had been, ultimately, why he'd left, even though the Cheerios would have been an excellent addition to his college application in a year, and he'd given it up. And for what? A friend that apparently isn't going to be the support he needs.

“You asked for my help. Well, here's what you should do. Your dad is trying to help you. Let him. Do as he says. Blend in more, you know, dress more normal, tone things down a little. I'll be your girlfriend, that should help – Mr H has always liked me. And you should start coming to church with me.

“I didn't want to push earlier, not when your dad was still recovering, but the way you reacted when he was in the hospital wasn't healthy. Striking out like that at your friends, when all we wanted to do was to help you, that... It just isn't right. If you feel as if you can't accept God in your heart, then you need help to do so. I'll help you, Kurt, as will your family. All you need to do is help us.”

He can barely believe his ears. Yes, it had become obvious earlier that Mercedes wasn't going to be the rock he needs her to be, but this? This isn't just not being a rock, this is being as unsupportive as is possible, this is being actively against him. No matter how she presents is, this is Mercedes Jones taking a stand against everything that he is.

And he thought she loved him as much as he loved her.

“Kurt?”

“Sorry. Look, Mercedes, this was... You gave me a lot to think about, okay? I... I need to talk to dad again, and. I'll call you later.”

He doesn't know if he will, of course, nor if he's going to talk to his dad any time soon, but he's desperate to get away. He's about to break down completely, and he needs to not be on the phone with Mercedes when he does so. He needs to not let her catch on to what he's really feeling.

She blabs on for a while, and he makes what he hopes is appropriate noises, but he's not listening. He just wants to go.

So. He already knows he can't be straight. He can't. Coming out, even to himself, wasn't something he just did. He hadn't labeled himself “gay” lightly, or for fun. It had just been the only truth that had fit.

Kurt remembers spending countless nights agonizing over it, being afraid, hoping he'd run into a girl that would do it for him. He never wanted to be gay, to be seen as abnormal and disgusting, he'd just learned to accept that he was, and then tried to not see himself as any of the slurs thrown at him.

It had been Mercedes herself, in a way, that had forced him to come to terms. She's gorgeous, with all the qualities he wants in a partner – with the exception of her gender. He's always seen this, and surely, if any girl should be able to make him feel anything but admiration and friendship, it should be her.

Up until that point he'd still held out in the hopes of being at least bi – Finn had been the last blow to his denial when it came to being attracted to boys, but he'd still not been ready to accept that he was gay – but realizing Mercedes had feelings for him, and it only causing him to panic... Yeah. Gay.

Brittany had only confirmed it. (Strange, how two of the most beautiful girls he knows both went for him.)

Could he try and play straight then? It didn't work last time, he's painfully aware of how much he failed then, but there's more at stake now. Because this time? He's not afraid he might be kicked out, he knows he'll be. He also knows what mistakes he made last time, as well as more about how a real teenage boy is supposed to act.

Maybe if this time he tried to copy not his dad, but Finn? That should be easier, surely, and not as obvious, right? He already knows he can perform on the football field, and while coach Beiste does have an acceptable kicker, surely she can use a back-up. There's also the fact that his face and body has changed since last year, and he has better control of his chest voice now. Maybe...

But no. Playing straight hurt and it would be even worse a second time, Kurt's pretty sure of that. This time he's experienced the freedom of not hiding, and even with the escalation it had caused in the bullying it had been worth it. Also, he's willing to bet on the fact that his dad's ultimatum wasn't about playing straight.

He can try, yes, and hope that his dad will come to his senses again, but that's a risky game. What if his dad doesn't change his mind again? What if he never gives up on having a straight son? If that's how it is, then Kurt playing straight won't help any, it'll only cause him suffering.

And for what? Trying to please a family that doesn't love him the way he is?

He'd called Mercedes in the hope that she would welcome him, that her family would allow him to stay with them, that they'd come through for him as they'd done for Quinn. Instead she'd sided with his dad. And that leaves him alone.

Mercedes is his only friend. Rachel tries to be one, when she isn't actively fighting him, but they're not that close. And if he was to go to her... Her dads would most likely offer him a place, yes, out of some sort of queer solidarity, but they would – or so he believes – also try and mediate. And there is no way Burt Hummel would allow the son he wants to turn straight to go live with Lima's only out gay couple.

As for the rest of the glee club, and the adults surrounding him... None of the other kids would back him up. Brittany might, yes, but she could just as easily do as Mercedes had. Staying with her could ruin things between her and Artie though, even if somehow it didn't manage to give Brittany the wrong ideas.

Mr Schue doesn't really care about him, that much is obvious, and Miss Pillsbury is frankly useless. Coach Sylvester... No, best not go there.

Besides, he knows how much these people care about a teen getting kicked out of their home. He'd gotten all the evidence he needs the year before, when no one had raised as much as a finger to help Quinn. Mercedes had been the only one, and to realize she is less willing to back him up than Quinn breaks his heart. It's reason enough to ensure that even should he decide to go with his dad's demands, he won't ever do so the way she had suggested.

He's thought of Mercedes as his best friend, his sister almost, and it's a hard painful blow to his heart that she apparently doesn't value him the same way he does her.

If he can't return home, and can't get any help in Lima, then there's only one solution: he needs to leave. Run away.

He's not exactly equipped to run away though. Sure, he's got his wallet and his cell, but that's it. No jacket, much too thin clothing, shoes unsuited for walking around outside... He needs more. Luckily he knows exactly where to get it.

For once the brutal reality of McKinley is working for him. His locker is filled to the max, and just about everything in it is something he can use now. There, a bag of unused gym clothes – the shorts and tee are mainly useless, sure, but it's clothing and so he takes them anyway. The sneakers are perfect. And over there, two complete outfits in case he needs to change during the day (he almost always has to) and of course his “emergency kits”, one a toiletry bag for dealing with slushies – complete with travel towel, soap, shampoo, moisturizer and clean underwear; one a well-stocked first aid kit and the last one a miniature sowing kit – with everything from needles, thread and pins to buttons, three kinds of fabric cleaner and patches.

He's got more though. A water bottle, some energy bars, dried fruit, nuts, chocolate... His old mp3 player, an emergency $50, a pair of out of style sunglasses, a rescue blanket, a thin rain cape and a paperback he hasn't gotten around to reading yet. All of it gets thrown into the gym bag.

He's still not done. Kurt knows that the chances of his dad letting him just leave aren't that great, if not because he wants his gay son at home so at least because it doesn't look good to have your kid run away, and that means he needs to disguise himself.

The theater department is just as sadly underfunded as everything else not football or cheerleading, meaning most of their supplies are donated. That makes it “normal” clothes though, and not exactly well documented. The chances of anyone realizing that the items he takes are missing are minimal, and even if they do he'll be far away by then. Dressed in baggy khakis, a ratty windbreaker, his sneakers and a OSU hoodie he looks nothing like his regular self – except for from the neck up.

He snatches a pair of blackrimmed glasses (outfitted with window glass, apparently) and nods. That looks better. Not perfect though... But. There's a pair of clippers in one of the drawers. It's a horrible thought, but getting away is more important than looks, and so Kurt gives himself a buzz cut.

The face he sees in the mirror doesn't look like his own. He'd be horrified, normally, but right now that's the effect he wants, and so he nods.

Time to get out.

Hiking through town is much easier now, when he's dressed somewhat appropriately, but he's still happy when he manages to catch a ride. The truck is from out of state, and the tired trucker barely looks at him, only nods when Kurt tells him – using his lower register – that he's looking to “get back” to school. The “visit with the girlfriend's family didn't go well” excuse is accepted, and Kurt breathes a little easier when they cross Lima city limits.

The secondhand store in XXX opens at ten. Kurt waits until 10:20, thinking he'll be too noticeable if he's hanging on the lock, waiting for them to open. The owner listens to him, looks at the outfit and the shoes Kurt offers up, and nods. He gets ripped off, he knows it, but in the end he doesn't care. What's important right now isn't what Kurt payed for those clothes, or what they're worth – it's what he can get in exchange.

And that is more than he'd dared hope for. A backpack, well-used but in good shape, a sleeping bag, a pair of boots that are scuffed but still in good condition, a second pair of pants and a small camping stove. He even manages to get a wool cap and a pair of thin gloves out of the deal. There's a hunting store nearby; he'll stop there and buy some warm socks, and some camping food, and move on. The sooner he gets out of Ohio, he thinks, the better.

For once the fact that his country is so divided will work for him.

What is the difference between a medium/ psychic and prophetic person?

I used to wonder this a lot before I knew anything about any of that. Like, how can you ever solidify or get answers about something like that anyways. I went to a psychic when I was pagan, once at a pagan festival, another at a graduation party, probably even more times I don’t recall. Everything they would tell me was odd and true. At the pagan festival in 2015? He pulled out a card and told me I was backstabbed and many other things which corresponded to when my stepsister did in fact backstab me and we stopped being friends. At a graduation party a psychic also pulled out a card she knew I was going away for awhile. This was right before I left for army.

My grandma knew a medium, which is a person who could see spirits, my mom used to see but as you resist it they flee like the Bible tells you. “Resist the devil he will flee” James 4:7. So my mom wasn’t seeing them a lot back then. My mom has also never told anyone besides me because she doesn’t want people to think less of her, and tbh she never wanted it. But I remember I went to the mediums haunted house tour and thought it was odd things were moving. I kind of just assumed it was all plotted. But one time she came over because weird stuff was happening to my mom. When she walked in my house suddenly felt like a haunted house and our house lights were malfunctioning. She knew things about the people of the house who died and the area. And after that I must’ve been like 9 years old I realized ghosts were real. Which I think I knew deep down because I was experiencing weird things too even by like age 3-4.

At a prophetic church, they told me someone I knew backstabbed me. I had (it was either knives or arrows I don’t recall) in my back they needed to come out. I told them “What? Who?” And they replied a family member. Suddenly I remembered a few weeks ago one of my stepsisters did backstab me and my brother, and called us really horrible things to my stepdad behind our back. My stepdad ended up telling my mom and my mom told me. They told me I needed to forgive her in a very specific way, and the back pain went away after that. This is just one example.

So, they both know things so how can you tell the difference? The difference is the source. It’s either holy or unholy. The Bible warns against mediums and psychics and tells you to stay away from them. But why? Because they are associating with demons. I am around prophetic seers and am friends with many seers online and I can 100% guarantee you they do not see ghosts or aliens lol only angels and demons. Just like prophecy demons counterfeit fake gifts as well. Which have become honestly the norm, hence psychics. Demons also have access to a lot of information if they aren’t truly saved and because of the bloodline. Leeches need a host and so do demons they are pretty much the same. This is complex but bible explains everything.

I have another fun story. A witch came to our bible study once. But we don’t fear the bogeyman lol. We “stomp on the heads of snakes and scorpions.” So even if you are around a witch with God there is nothing to fear. So anyways, we didn’t know she was a witch at first but things got weird. And I love my bible study people because they are very wise with the things that they say. The witch told us, “my ancestors say there is a lot I can learn from you guys and to thank you” It got so silent. I asked her, “Are you a medium?” She said yes, and that her Grandpa was in the room with them. Little did she know she got invited to the most spiritual bible study she will probably ever encounter. My spiritual mom said,” that thing that came in with you was not your grandpa” and the whole room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. She started to reveal a lot of things very suddenly. Her spell magic, how she makes money from it, tarot cards, astrology, she wanted to be called a different name and I think I ended up realizing there was a reason for that. My spiritual moms son started having visions and he knew she was backstabbed and her heart was broken. You know I am not sure if I have ever seen an active witch cry in person before. But tears were shed and we ended the night singing and dancing to worship music. Some of which she even suggested.

Holy Spirit will always lead you to peace. To the Bible. The Bible will confirm itself. Because it’s the word of God. Witchcraft cannot mend your broken heart. It wants you to stay broken. Mend yourself, even though you aren’t God and have no idea how to. People often use witchcraft for revenge because their hearts are sick and full of hatred. But it’s dangerous and can kill people including the person casting the spells. It’s like a disease that makes you sick sometimes instantly sometimes over time. I can’t tell you why. But I can tell you it’s dangerous. And I am just talking about the act itself, I am not even talking about the spells. It doesn’t matter if they are a “good” or “bad” witch. Rotten fruit is rotten fruit which means the source is ultimately bad. I can almost guarantee you they are mentally unwell or suicidal, along with probably many other unbiblical signs of bad fruit. So the solution? Cut down the whole tree. Their “good” spells I can guarantee you are making them and others sick even if they don’t realize it. If your “Grandpa” leaves when you command it to by the name of Jesus that’s probably not your Grandpa. The devil is so sneaky, because he knows this confuses people and people perish from their lack of knowledge. New age is introducing new forms of spirits which involve “angels” and “guides” once you reach “enlightenment” lol. Which is really just summoning the demonic through their rituals. All about the self and what the self wants and desires, seems pretty easy if you think about it. Like eating junk food. Man following God now that is enlightenment. Much harder.

I also have plenty of testimony because I performed witchcraft as a child and also a few years ago. It does make you sick and unfortunately I did experience physical attacks and they wanted to kill me. It’s kind of interesting to me how the devil would always try to hypnotize me and draw me closer. He promised me a lot of earthly fleshly things too. But “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” Matthew 16:26. Even as a kid the devil tracked me down and tried to get me to go the wrong way. And I was stupid and I did. But I think God knew my true heart deep down and knew eventually I would choose the right way.

Sometimes mediums and psychics are born that way because of their bloodline that hasn’t been healed yet. Typically it’s accessed. Which is the same with prophecy. The Bible says “Seek and you will find” Matthew 7:7-8. Except prophecy happens naturally to the seeking Christian and the source is God. I’m unsure if mediums/psychics even remotely have a book like the Bible or if they just have to guess check literally everything, although it wouldn’t be surprising. I used to pray for answers like this, because it would’ve helped me believe even more. And I finally did receive my answers. And it makes me feel so bad for people still caught up in that new age rabbit hole. Never ending! The lies never end I swear. But pray to Jesus for answers he will show you the truth and give you the gift of discernment. Pray for knowledge, discernment, wisdom, and truth to be revealed.

I pray if you go seeking for this stuff be careful… Have God by your side always. Ask for Gods protection through everything. Psalm 91. Ephesians 6 Armor of God. Everyday. They are all over the internet, Gods people and witches. They are in churches where you can meet prophetic for free or the witches run their own shops to con you, cast spells on you, and have you come crying back to them to spend even more money. Play safe and know that God loves you and doesn’t want to see you get hurt. He said in the Bible stay away from mediums and psychics.

Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God. Leviticus 19:31

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand, when I awake, I am still with you. Psalm 139:17-18

My lips praise you because your faithful love is better than life itself! Psalm 63:3

My Testimony to Christ

Christianity is the main religion where I grew up. In primary school, we went to church on Easter, the harvest festival and Christmas. Most of the times I never enjoyed going and found other ways to entertain myself (looking at all the stained glass).

My family were never religious either, in fact my mum is the opposite, mocking God and all other religious beliefs. Mum believes in crystals and things related to witches. For a long time, I too, believed in this. There overall just wasn’t much about Christianity in my life.

In school, I took interest in religious education, I enjoyed learning about all different kinds of religions. I used to do research when I got home too. This is when my interest in Christianity started to grow. I read about the Bible and 10 commandments, why other people were Christians. I started to think things like “hmm that makes sense “ and “ wow I love that”.

I learned about the good things God did for others and started wanting something like that for myself. Before I believed, I used to pray and ask for good things for my family and stuff like happiness for myself. When nothing happened, I blamed God. I didn’t realise I had to believe in God for him to listen, I lacked education and patience. All I knew was to say “Amen.” at the end of my prayers.

After years of pushing him away, i realised why he wasn’t answering to me. I wanted to change and made the decision to pursue my faith, I began my research and started reading the Bible. At first there was a lot of not being bothered, but nether the less I continued and taught myself to pray every morning and night. The next step was dropping constant sin, and then attending church.

The first time I went to church by choice was one of the best feelings I have ever had. I felt empowered, refreshed and proud that I continued and didn’t give up on God.

I still have lots to learn but I am grateful for God in my life every day. The things I pray for now happen. When I prayed for my mum’s safety and health, three days later she got taken to hospital, was attended to there and has been on a gradual recovery since. I thank God for every single thing he gives me and I’m so glad I get to spend my life with him. There isn’t one day where I don’t think about the things he has done for me.

Theist to pagan to atheist to ANTItheist to seriously considering joining the Satanic Temple. Also Im so angry anyone else? via /r/atheism

Theist to pagan to atheist to ANTItheist to seriously considering joining the Satanic Temple. Also, I’m so angry… anyone else? As a kid in the 80’s/early 90’s, I believed in god, but only because I didn’t know anything else. I didn’t grow up in a religious household by any means, but I knew the family was catholic and I had been baptized. I went to church a few times with friends and it was meh. God and religion was never really talked about, but mom was kinda spiritual/hippie-esque and I grew up next to a reservation, and mom had a couple friends from there and I LOVED listening to them. So pretty quickly I jumped off the god train and found paganism in my teens with a brief stint into angry atheism when my Gamma passed. I got really into the pagan paths through my 20’s before finding my way back to numb atheism in my mid 30’s. Looking back, I needed what I found in paganism, which was imaginary friends who loved me, because I was desperately lonely. I learned a LOT during that time though. I studied global faiths. I got DEEP into the rabbit hole of philosophy. Ultimately I learned that humans have a colorful imagination, and loathe being wrong. Now at 41 I call myself agnostic atheist at best, and acknowledge that if there’s anything out there, it’s only because I’d like something to be out there, but only because I like the idea of there being something better after all this BS on earth. Really it’s in the same vein as I believe technically, in the infinite and rapid expansion of the universe, alien life probably exists somewhere, but they’re so far away humanity will never meet them, so for all intents and purposes, they don’t exist, but it’s a fun thought. I’m perfectly comfortable with returning to stardust when I die, but I like the thought of a connected universal consciousness; a mycelial network. All those years of study have also made me ANGRY at the entire institution of religion and everything it’s done to destroy humanity and the world. Like if god (blanket term to cover all of them) turns out to be real, that Motherfucker owes me one HELL of an apology when I die. I feel like a petulant child, being mad at something that doesn’t exist. It’s hard to reconcile my atheism with my rage at the sky wizard… like how can you be mad at something that isn’t real? Well I can be pissed at the institution of religion and what it’s done/doing and the abhorrent insanity of it all. So I find my joy in blasphemy. I have a growing collection of cute t-shirts featuring Baphomet, some cool bits of jewelry, and I’m working on a sexy AF satanic nun costume for Halloween. I love a good religious debate and kinda get off on seeding doubt. I like what I’m learning about non-theist satanism and I’m really considering joining the Temple. Most satanists I’ve talked to are atheists who have philosophies similar to mine. I like what the Temple is about and it seems like a good way to meet people. It just feels like a giant middle finger to every cross wearing hypocrite that breathes in my direction. I am absolutely loathe to call myself a “satanist” though, it just sounds so silly. I don’t know, on one hand, I feel like a kid throwing a tantrum, on the other, the Temple is doing good stuff, or at least trying to. So anyone else? Am I alone in these feelings? I don’t know many atheists (Texas) and my husband is a solidly rational, lifelong atheist who doesn’t have the meandering road through faiths that I do, nor do I really know any other full on atheists. Submitted October 06, 2023 at 03:06PM by Shenanigaens (From Reddit https://ift.tt/So60Mm5)