#looks its funny because i replaced their belts with | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

baldval · 1 month

Note

I know know this might seem weird but can you maybe write a one shot or something where it’s vox trying to win the reader and he does the cheesy standing outside with a boombox or speaker or something playing a love song? I don’t know what it is but I can see him doing that. weirdly enough I feel like it’d also be funny because I imagine if it was at the hotel and imagine alastor ends up messing with the boombox or speaker and makes it play something embarrassing like baby shark or something saying he’s a loser and he gets all embarrassed and ends up destroying it and regrets it almost immediately

while Angel is making fun of Vox calling him a simp and he (and everyone except Charlie who is trying to hold it in or thinks it’s sweet and romantic)is dying from laughter on how bad it failed 🤣

and poor Vox gets so embarrassed he just zaps away to be made fun of by the other V’s without hearing a response from the reader

and call me a sucker but it ends up being funny and sweet to the reader

SAY ANYTHING!₊˚⊹♡

characters: vox x gn!reader

wc: 714

warnings: cursing, REALLY cheesy but i love it 😭

Vox paced nervously outside the grand hotel, a cascade of conflicting emotions churning within him.

Tonight marked the culmination of countless nights spent wrestling with his feelings for you, and he was determined to lay his heart bare.

He wasn't used to this chasing thing, of course he had flirted with other people before, but usually they all rapidly complied.

However, you deserved more.

You deserved a GRAND gesture.

A rom-com kinda gesture, something you would remember forever.

And there is nothing more romecomish than standing outside playing a love song from his speaker.

This wasn't his type of thing, he had to admit that.

But for you? He would do anything.

Unsure of how he felt, all his focus was on one thing:

"y/n is going to love this"

With a flourish, he raised the boombox high above his head, its speakers belting out a tender love ballad that echoed through the night air.

It was cheesy, he knew that.

But to him, all that mattered was you.

"The fuck is that sound?" Angel asks, looking over at Husk as he shrugs his shoulders.

Vaggie looked out the window. "It's the fucking tv."

Alastor appeared by her side, also looking out the window.

He turned to look at Vaggie, his smile turning even more sinister as he disappeared again.

"y/n this one's for you sweetie." Angel shouts, teasing.

"What is?" You walk down the stairs, towards the lobby.

"Look out the window." Angel stands up from the sofa and accompanies you.

Your heart swelled with affection as you watched Vox standing there, his determination etched into every line of his face.

His heart started pounding in his chest the minute he saw your face on the window, summoning the courage to shout out your name, to let you know just how much you meant to him.

But before he could utter a single word, the music abruptly changed, replaced by the unmistakable sounds of fucking Baby Shark.

A wave of mortification washed over Vox as he fumbled to silence the mocking tune, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. Alastor's laughter rang out from somewhere nearby, followed by Angel's teasing jibes.

"He's such a loser." Angel's laughter bubbled up as he walked away from the window, leaving you there.

You couldn't help but smile at the desastrous, but endearing attempt from Vox.

Vox's frustration boiled over as he struggled to shut off the boombox, his pride wounded by the unexpected turn of events. With a muttered curse, he finally succeeded, but the damage had been done.

As the laughter of the other demons echoed through the hotel, you knew you had to do something. Wrapping a coat around your shoulders, you hurried outside to find Vox, your heart pounding in your chest.

When you reached the spot where he had been standing, you found it empty, Vox having vanished into the night. But you refused to let him slip away without a word.

"Vox?" you called out softly, scanning the darkness for any sign of him.

A moment later, Vox materialized before you, his expression a mix of embarrassment and uncertainty. "I-I'm sorry, y/n. I didn't mean for it to go like that."

You stepped closer, a gentle smile playing on your lips. "It's okay, Vox. I thought it was sweet."

Vox's eyes widened in surprise, a flicker of hope igniting within them. "Really?"

You nodded, reaching out to take his hand in yours. "Really. I appreciate the effort you put into it."

A warm flush spread across Vox's cheeks as he returned your gaze, his heart swelling with joy. "I don't know if you got to hear the song, but what I'd meant for it to be was, kinda like a rom-com, I know you love those so-"

"I know what you meant Vox." Your hand lightly grazed his arm, stopping his rambling.

In that moment, the tension that had hung between you melted away, leaving only the undeniable bond that connected you. With a soft smile, Vox leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a tender kiss that spoke volumes of the love he felt for you.

As you melted into his embrace, the world faded away, leaving only the two of you, lost in the sweetness of the moment.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #vox x reader #vox x you #cursed cat alastor #vox hazbin hotel #vox hazbin hotel headcanons #hazbin vox

187 notes · View notes

eryiss · 9 months

Text

Summary: When one dates a superhero, he accepts danger into his life. When one designs costumes for superhero’s, he accepts danger into his life. When one does both, he best be able to protect himself. The question is: when it comes to it, can Freed Justine protect himself? Laxus wished he could be sure.

Notes: Hello all. Just because superheroes didn’t get chosen in the prompts, it doesn’t mean I can’t write one. Again, very self indulgent, so enjoy. Make sure to check out @fuckyeahfraxus for other event posts.

Links: Ao3, Event Masterlist

The World at Their Feet

July - 2023

"You know, we have a perfectly usable elevator."

Freed pushed open the glass doors to his office balcony, hair flowing back as the wind struck him. On the ninetieth floor, it was a crisp and battering gust which typically rendered the balcony functionally pointless. Freed had considered building it up and extending his office into the space, but every once in a while, a situation like this would arise where the balcony proved its worth. With the doors open, the occupant of the balcony walked in.

Raijin, as he was publicly known, was a monolithic man. He stood tall and broad in an ensemble of spandex and leather, a cape hanging limp around him. His hardened jaw and firm mouth were the only parts of his face not hidden behind a black mask. His shocking blonde hair was slicked back, and his piercing blue eyes hidden behind protection. Lighting popped and crackled around him, remnants from his last show of power that had landed him on the balcony to begin with. He walked with a straight back and a high held head; power personified.

"I think I'd stand out a little in an elevator," Raijin said, voice warped by a modulator. "And it's fun scaring you."

"You don't scare me, dear man. You irritate me," Freed scolded. "Now. Show me the damage, will you?"

Raijin complied, stepping onto a small circular platform in the middle of the room. Bright lights hit him from all angles, bathing him in harsh brightness. He raised his arms, allowing Freed to circle him, glasses perched on his nose and a frown contorting his face. Raijin's laugh was as warped as his words, and Freed's gaze snapped to his own.

"Care to share the joke?"

"Just funny how pissed off you get at me."

"So you do this to my work on purpose? Are my reactions worth it?"

"Definitely. But I don't do it on purpose."

Freed tutted and didn't show whether or not he believed him. His eyes looked Raijin up and down with keen assessment. His suit, which had just been finalised mere months ago, was unrecognisable. There were burns, rips, stains and scents radiating off it that Freed really didn't wish to know the origins of. It had taken Freed a whole month to make this suit as flexible, as protective and as flattering at it was. Now, after whatever ridiculous situation Raijin had gotten himself into, it was hardly worth wearing at all.

With a sniff of annoyance, Freed approached the superhero and removed the mask from his face. Gone was Raijin, replaced by Laxus Dreyar. He was a little battered and a little bruised, and his cocky façade was quickly replaced by a genuine smile. Freed, as he always did, melted at that smile. He leant forward and cupped Laxus' cheek, kissing him gently.

They didn't speak for a while, a well-rehearsed routine. While Laxus being in Freed's office was a rarity, the personal side of their relationship meant that Freed often saw the change from Laxus to Raijin, and vice versa. Laxus always needed time to adjust, to come to terms with whatever he'd done throughout the day. About a month into dating Laxus, Freed had realised the best thing to do was to let Laxus decompress and think through the day, and not speak until he was ready. It was unconventional, but it worked.

Freed got to work as Laxus closed his eyes. In one of the many closets, Freed pulled out a small metal belt. It was a dark black, with a small, unassuming button on the side. With a glance over his shoulder, he saw Laxus' posture had relaxed. He would be ready to speak soon, so Freed walked back to his desk and sat behind it, waiting for Laxus to be done.

"I guess you wanna know what happened?" Laxus asked, voice teasing. It had been a good day, then.

"Why you destroyed a work of art, you mean?" Freed admonished. "Yes, I very much would like to know what happened."

Laxus gave him an abridged version of the day's events. The day had begun in a 24-hour diner, where customers and staff alike were being held up by a group of gunmen. Raijin had stormed in, shot bolts of lightning at their guns and rendered them useless. The gunmen acted in a panic and tossed both hot coffee and a large cauldron of tomato soup at Raijin. It hadn't hurt him, of course, but it had stained the fabric and left it stinking.

Next, a knife fight had broken out in the streets. Raijin had gotten in the middle of them both and promptly knocked them both out, but not before they cut through the spandex and left a few nicks in Laxus' skin.

Finally, Raijin had stormed into the base of a crime syndicate that he'd been following for a few months. The groups boss had finally been seen in Magnolia and Raijin knew that he had a short period of time to act. He's crashed into the warehouse in a hail of lightning and thunder. The syndicate has been semi prepared, with acid blasting weapons that didn't slow Raijin down, but certainly left his suit in a mess. Burn marks and sizzling fabric were the only thing left of the group by the time Laxus was done with them.

Freed allowed Laxus to finish his retelling of the day before he sighed and leant forward. "And what, I dread to ask, is that."

Laxus followed Freed's gaze to his right foot. He flushed a little and mumbled. "I don't wanna tell ya."

"I recommend that you do."

"I landed in the park," Laxus muttered. Freed gestured for him to go on. "The police had their horse patrol out."

"Oh don't tell me it's-"

"Horse crap? Yeah. I landed in horse crap!"

"Face first, perhaps?"

"No. Just my right foot," Laxus' eyes widened. "Do I have horse crap on my-"

"No no. Just wishful thinking. It would have been karmically appropriate after what you did to my masterpiece," Freed huffed, standing up. He pushed a button in his desk which shuttered all the blinds and crossed his arms. "Well, it's no longer usable. Take it off."

"That's another thing. One of the assholes with a knife hit the belt," Laxus gestured to his belt, which would have been identical to the one Freed had just retrieved from his closet, if it weren't for the big slash halfway through. "The retraction mechanism isn't working. Could you help me out."

Freed put on a show of thinking, then shook his head. "No, take it off yourself. This will be your penance."

Laxus groaned, then looked down at his suit. With a resigned sigh, a final look of pleading aimed at Freed, he began to peel the fabric off himself. It was an inelegant and laughable show, the tightness of the fabric not designed for easy disrobing.

Each of Freed's superhero suits had a secret, they were made out of nano bots that took on the properties of any fabric required. The belt, when pushed, would bring forth the suit and fit it onto the person within a second without the need for actually changing. Once the superhero was done, they pushed the button on the belt again and the suit retracted and was replaced by a civilian outfit that suited their specific style. As such, Freed rarely put much thought into how easy it was to change into and out of in normal circumstances. That was why Laxus was struggling so much in getting his broad shoulders through a hole designed to stretch to the size of a neck.

After about a minute of struggling, Freed heard Laxus mutter a quiet 'fuck this' before tearing the chest of the suit open. It ripped under his strength and fell to the floor, leaving him naked and with a glare on his face. Freed met him with a smile.

"I've had dreams where you did that," Freed mused. "And quite a few nightmares. You'd be influenced by an evil force; you'd destroy my work intentionally then try to kill me."

"Yer funny," Laxus grunted. "You got anything that'll fit me. I ain't flying home naked."

"I've got civilian clothes for you and a replacement suit waiting," Freed assured him. "Though, perhaps you should use my shower before you leave. The scents have mingled and not into something pleasant."

Laxus nodded and walked to the small bathroom attached to Freed's office, kissing Freed on the cheek as he passed him. Freed smiled and sat at his workbench, placing the belt around a mannequin that was Laxus' exact body type. He pushed the button and the newest form of Raijin's costume sprung out. It was a golden and white ensemble: a new pallet for a new era of Raijin's identity. He had started off in the shadows, but now wore his heroics proudly. Raijin was a beacon of hope, and now he would be dressed like one.

Although, Freed really wished he could convince Laxus to ditch the cape: a fur lined monstrosity. It was impractical, garish, and – if Freed were honest with himself – hid Laxus' ass. There were only negatives to it, but Laxus insisted.

"Shit," Laxus whistled as he walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later, towel wrapped around his waist. "It looks great. You've been busy."

"I intended it to be your birthday gift, but needs must," Freed shrugged.

He retracted the suit back into the belt and tossed it to Laxus. Laxus dropped his towel and put on the belt, pushing the button immediately. The costume covered his bulk, and he experimentally took a few steps. With a grin, he dropped to the ground and did a few sit ups, testing the flexibility. He obviously seemed satisfied.

"More flexible than the last."

"I've been experimenting," Freed waved the compliment off. "I was thinking we could have take-out tonight. I don't feel like cooking, and I doubt you do…"

Freed's face had fallen as he looked at his computer monitor, and Laxus took a step forward. "What?"

"Invaders," Freed said, voice dropped of all mirth as he slammed a hand on a small button under his desk.

Metal sheets clanked down over the windows and all exterior doors. A warning began playing in the earpiece of everyone in the building, informing them to get to a safe zone if they could, and how to survive a threat if they couldn't. He wordlessly picked up Laxus' mask from the desk and tossed it at him. Laxus adorned it without complain, turning back to Raijin within a moment. His posture straightened and lightning danced across him.

Freed himself took a single strand of dark purple fabric and slowly wrapped it around his hand, as if readying himself for a bare-knuckle fight. Raijin caught sight of this and stepped forward, grabbing Freed by the wrist.

"Stay here," He ordered.

"No."

"You can't stop a bullet with a punch, Freed."

"Perhaps you can't. I can."

Freed snatched his hand out of Raijin's grasp and continued to wrap the fabric around his right hand, walking towards the door of his office. He pushed the button to the intercom and spoke into it, his voice echoing around the building from every speaker.

"Dear intruders, I give you a warning," He taunted, and Raijin growled. What the hell was wrong with the man? "You are not to touch a single one of my employees. Not one of them. You will find that I am the most valuable asset in this building, and you will find me on the top floor. I have opened all elevators and you can come and try to retrieve me at your pleasure. Or you can drop each of your weapons, place your hands on your heads, and stand in the room to the left of the reception. A gas will be released that knocks you out until the proper authorities have you in custody."

"Fucks sake," Raijin whispered. "Stop goading them."

"And, let me reiterate this," Freed continued, ignoring Raijin entirely. "If you hurt a single one of my employees, I will make the rest of your lives a living hell. Do not test me."

Freed stepped away from the intercom and stared Raijin down, who was radiating anger. "What the hell was that?"

"We can defend ourselves. My receptionists, accountants and office workers might not be able to," Freed shrugged. He clicked on the monitors that showed the cctv, and saw a hoard of gunmen piling into elevators and climbing the stairs.

"We? Freed, these guys are gonna kill ya. You can win a fight one on one, but you ain't like me. You won't last."

"We'll see."

Raijin growled, then reached back. He used his lightning on the new suit, tearing off the cape and letting it drop to the floor. He heard Freed's sound of displeasure – dammit, why was he more annoyed at that than his likely death? – and felt his patience snap. He stormed over to Freed and wrapped him up in the cape; it was bulletproof and would offer Freed some protection.

"You're an idiot."

"You're a patronising ass," Freed bit back.

Before their domestic could move further, the doors to the office were pushed open and gunfire split the quiet. Raijin stood in front of Freed on instinct, and at least Freed was quick to duck behind the cape to avoid the hailstorm of bullets. They bounced off both the cape and Raijin's new suit. Raijin narrowed his eyes as he looked over the six or so men, armed with machine guns and looks of outraged determination. He didn't know who they were or what they wanted with Freed, but they couldn't fucking have him.

The second their bullets stopped, Laxus sprang forward propelled with lighting. Faster than any human should be able to move, he danced between them delivering lightning infused punches to their throats, stomachs, and heads. They fall to the floor and Raijin blasted their weapons with heavy lightning, burning through them.

"Who the hell do you work for?" Raijin demanded of the only man still conscious.

"Someone with a grudge," The man spat, wearing a blood splattered smile. He looked towards Freed with a grin. "But not for much longer."

Raijin turned in time to see a single gunman ducked behind Freed's desk. He must have snuck in as his teammates were filling the room with bullets. He had a simple pistol aimed directly at Freed, and he was grinning a manic smile. Raijin stood, but the man spoke before he could act. "Move, and I'll kill him."

"Good luck with that," Freed taunted.

Raijin didn't have the same confidence. He'd been in enough of these situations to know when someone was serious about this threat, and this man would kill Freed without a second thought. Raijin slowly turned to the man and relaxed his body slightly, trying to look none imposing. This was not a hostage negotiation.

"We can do this without anyone dying," Raijin said carefully. "Just tell us-"

Freed lurched forward the man the man, and the gun went off.

Laxus' heart jumped into his throat as he stormed forward, hoping desperately that the bullet had missed or had hit somewhere non vital. He saw Freed doubled over, and dread flooded him. Fuck, if he'd been shot in the chest then he would almost definitely be dead. Shit. Why the fuck hadn't Laxus gotten him out? Why hadn't he stopped him from getting to the intercom? Why hadn't he saved him?

Freed's laughter cut through the spiral of panic, and he looked up. Freed was doubled over, yes, but grinning almost madly. He slowly stood up, and Laxus watched in horror, expecting blood to be staining his Armani suit. But he didn't. He didn't see the suit at all. Instead, he saw ribbons of dark purple fabric wrapped around him.

With a flurry, Freed pushed his fist forward. It didn't reach the man, but it didn't need to. From his knuckles, tentacles from an Eldritch horror shot forward. They wrapped around the man, binding him tightly and lifting him off the ground. Freed moved and slammed the man into the window, glass shattering and metal shutters denting. He did it again and again, until the dent in the metal became a gaping hole. The tentacles squelched out, carrying the gunman with them. Laxus gaped as the tentacles retreated, without the gunman.

A moment later, the resounding thud and splash echoed through the city. He had fallen from the top of the skyscraper into the ornamental fountain below. He wouldn't have survived.

Laxus turned to Freed, eyes wide below the mask. "What the fuck?"

"I told you not to underestimate me."

"You can- why the hell didn't tell me you have powers?"

"I don't."

Laxus was ready to argue that point, but then saw a flash of purple cover Freed's right eye. He looked back to the ribbon of fabric wrapped around Freed's knuckles and realised what had happened. Freed had mentioned a few times over the past month that he was experimenting with more uses for his nano bots. Apparently, weaponry and eye controls were part of that.

Freed now stood tall, turning to the door for the next rush of gunmen. Coils of floating fabric wrapped around him, ready to strike and entirely under his control. His perfect suit and Laxus' cape billowed in the wind from the hole in the window.

"Fuck, I love you so goddamn much," Laxus whispered.

"Of course you do, I'm spectacular," Freed lowered his voice. "And if you love me now, you'll be proposing when you realise the treat I've put into that new suit."

"Treat?"

"It vibrates and massages you in strategic places," Freed teased, and Laxus once again found himself wondering what the hell went on inside of Freed's mind. Whatever it was, Laxus loved it. "Now, back straight and mind focused. As much as I love exciting you, there are cameras in here and it's undignified to be seen fighting with an erection."

"You're an ass," Laxus laughed, but then became solemn for a moment. "But you are safe, yeah? No bullshit."

"I'm as safe as you. The fabric reacts instinctively and is as protective as everything I've made for you. I'm just as safe as you."

"Couldn't you make a suit for yourself?"

"I could, but I didn't. I haven't discovered my aesthetic yet," Freed grinned, and Laxus didn't know whether to laugh or shake some sense into him. "Although, the tentacles seemed to be the obvious choice. Perhaps some kind of lovecraftian visage is what I need. What do you think?"

"I think you're insane," Laxus mumbled.

They didn't have time to speak further, because every elevator shot open, and the room flooded with men with guns. The initial rush was nothing compared to what came forward. There were countless masked men, carrying weapons of all sorts, each with bloodlust dancing in their eyes. Freed's taunting must have pissed them off, because Laxus doubted a single one of them would hesitate to kill if given the chance.

But this time, Laxus wasn't worried. He trusted Freed. He was a cocky son of a bitch but had enough sense to know his own limits. If Freed wasn't backing down, it was because he could win.

Side by side, they fought together. Laxus unleashed a hell of lightning onto the men, while ribbons of fabrics and coiling tentacles shot up and threw them around the room. The sound of gunfire got ever quieter as one by one; the men fell.

It was almost an anticlimax. So many men with so many bullets, and yet it could have only lasted two minutes before each of them were knocked out or tied up beyond any movement. Freed and Laxus stood side by side, panting as exhaustion began to take over. Freed strode through the discarded bullets that covered the floor and flicked the cctv monitors to the exterior cameras and hissed as he saw a small group of gunmen who had been locked out of the building. They had congregated by the front door and had a few passers-by at gunpoint. Laxus looked over Freed's shoulders and spoke lowly.

"How good are you with heights?"

"My shock absorbers are as good as yours."

Laxus watched as fabric wrapped tight around Freed's feet and legs. They grinned at each other for a second before running through the hole in the shutters and jumping off the building. They landed side by side in a superhero pose, the pavement cracking under their weight.

Fabric flew and lighting thundered, and the gunmen were taken care of within a second. Cameras flashed, and Laxus switched back into his Raijin persona, who played up to the cameras in a way Laxus never would himself. As he flexed – quietly feeling like an idiot but knowing it would throw anyone off the scent of who he was – he saw Freed contorting his fabrics to hide his face.

The hostages cried their thanks, the shutters rose from the building, and the crime was stopped. All in all, a good day.

——

"And of course, the topic on everyone's mind, the mysterious man who fought by your side."

Freed watched with idle curiously as the reporter angled the microphone into Raijin's face. Raijin laughed, looking calm and suave in front of the camera despite Freed knowing how panicked it made Laxus feel. He sometimes felt bad for insisting Raijin should be such a public figure, but anyone who knew anything about Laxus would immediately dismiss the idea of him being so happy to be recorded.

"So, Raijin, who is this mysterious man? Partner in crime? A rival superhero? A lover perhaps?"

Raijin laughed, run a hand through his hair, and looked directly into the camera. "That was Albion," He said, and Freed could see mischievous delight in his eyes. "My sidekick."

Freed gaped, leaning forward. He tapped his earpiece, which opened a communication link to the earpiece in Raijin's suit. He spoke clearly and darkly, eyes trained on the live feed of Raijin's interview. "I am no man's sidekick, Laxus Dreyar. And make no mistake, you will regret saying it."

On the screen, Laxus' smirk got even more smug. "Well, he's my sidekick for now. He still has to prove himself. He's kind of a brat."

"You are so going to regret this," Freed promised.

Laxus laughed on the screen and got an odd look from the journalist. Freed sighed and resigned himself to his sidekick fate. It could be worse; at least he'd gotten rid of Laxus' cape.

#Fraxus Week 2023 #Fraxus Week #Fraxus #Freed Justine #Laxus Dreyar #Fairy Tail #Fanfic #Writing #One Shot #Writing Event #Modern AU #Superhero AU

15 notes · View notes

teecupangel · 1 year

Text

Imma rant a bit about the Altaïr Armor in Destiny because I'm seeing some comments asking why they picked Warlock when Hunter has a hood and gadgets like throwing knives and smokes.

Anyway, here's the Altaïr Armor (with his toxic bff the Apple of Eden):

Cool, right? They look like they really tried to capture Altaïr's Master Assassin robes using red and white with dark gray color scheme, the asymmetric gloves/bracers showing he only has one hidden blade. throwing knives strapped to his belt...

But there are comments saying that it's not accurate because there's no hood. That they didn't get the Assassin aesthetic right.

But here's the thing.

I don't think Ubisoft and Bungie was going for the Assassin aesthetic, not really.

They were going for a semi-accurate Destiny-version of Altaïr.

(oh god, i'm actually going to defend ubisoft... fuck)

Here are 2 descriptions of the Warlock Class:

Highlights:

... long studied the Traveler, mastering some of its arcane energy

Discovering truth has always driven you into the unknown

Warrior-scholars

If we replace the Traveler with Isu or Apple of Eden, we would actually get an accurate description of Altaïr. He is known as the one who was closest to mastering the Apple (Desmond would have probably mastered it more than him because he has "Bleeding Effect" and "Isu Chosen One" cheat codes on) and his robes are supposed to mimic a traveling scholar so he could blend in. Not only that but he is a true scholar with a passion for knowledge.

He even studied philosophy and quoted Empedocles to Maria in AC Bloodline.

His Codex is a testament to his 'warrior-scholar' title, having both writings of his studies of the Apple and manuscripts that Leonardo Da Vinci would later use to create Ezio dual hidden blades, a hidden gun and poison as well as show Ezio how to perform other assassination techniques. His library was said to have been filled with countless pieces of knowledge, searched by both the Assassin Brotherhood and the Templar Order. He's known as the father of the Modern Brotherhood.

And because I love this line so much, here's a quote of how eloquent Altaïr could be if he's trying to impress someone (Maria)

(This man is a nerd and a jock. I call him an overachiever for a reason.)

This means that, yes, while the Hunter class does have a hood and would have been an easy way for Bungie to create an Assassin robe-inspired armor, I think they made the right call making the Warlock the Altaïr armor.

My opinion is, if Altaïr was in Destiny and given a choice, he would have picked the Warlock class as well.

Not to mention...

"Keep relics related to the Darkness to prevent others from being..." sounds like the Brotherhood's unofficial tenet of "is it a POE? hide it. preferably underground."

(sidenote) If you want to build a Warlock Altaïr in Destiny, my suggestion would be the Sunsinger subclass because:

The sun theme will be funny and ironic considering his descendant died to save the world from a solar flare

It has an AOE damage over time grenade that mimics the Apple of Eden's ability to slowly kill humans

The overall gold color scheme can be compared to the Apple of Eden

Use Radiance only for yourself for pre to mid-AC1 Altaïr, use it for your allies for a late-AC1 to AC: Revelations Altaïr (aka: you can play as "arrogant self-centered Altaïr" or as a "still a bit arrogant but trying to be a team player Altaïr")

Phoenix imagery = bird motif

TL;DR: Ubisoft and Bungie weren't going for an Assassin motif for the Altaïr armor in Destiny. They were trying to recreate Altaïr as a character.

===============

You know who should have had the Hunter armor? OUR BEST BOY! Ratonhnhaké:ton!

(I also think Ezio would have been a good match for the Warlock but, come on, Altaïr deserves some love. Ezio has already been in Fall Guys, Brawlhalla and freaking FORTNITE. CONNOR DESERVES MORE LOVE TOO!)

Ref

2 Destiny wikis:

Destiny Wiki

Warlock

AC wiki:

Assassin's Creed Wiki

#tldr: it's not meant to be an assassin armor its specifically an altaïr (as a character) armor #teecup reacts #assassin's creed #altaïr ibn la'ahad #destiny 2 #bungie destiny #destiny the game #destiny warlock #the problem with having a single word title is that you need to specify it #please dont make me write a destiny x assassin's creed crossover fic #no i will not be ranting about kassandra's and eivor's armor sets #teecup analyze more than necessary

31 notes · View notes

fallout-lou-begas · 1 year

Text

has anyone else noticed tumblr crashing intermittently throughout the day? the twitter influx seems real, more real than i think anyone expected despite the rumors and jokes. i imagine tumblr hasn't had this much traffic in years.

but admittedly i'm kind of worried that it's going to come with skyrocketing server/upkeep costs for the website but no correlating increase in advertisers or other revenue, unless venture capitalists or other investors view tumblr as the right candidate to fill the social media power vacuum and just throw money at it, kicking the can of needing to actually make money sufficiently down the road

and like, yeah, fuck advertisers, and it admittedly is kind of funny that the tumblr userbase has been especially and notoriously hostile to any and all attempts to make money off them since the website’s inception, etc. etc. etc., but without money then tumblr's not even going to turn shitty, it's just going to go into that long dark night, and honestly before elon musk started taking over twitter i assumed this site wouldn’t live to see 2025 before the bottom gave out and the plug got pulled

and i would say that losing this hellsite (affectionate, derogatory, and everything in between) "isn't the end of the world," but i’m basically just a hobbyist. however i know an uncountable number of artists who depend on their reach on either twitter or tumblr for getting commissions or otherwise selling their art, and that's the income that they literally live on. if that income disappears they are fucked. the entire publishing industry has put all of its eggs in the twitter basket for scoping new talent as well, so independent writers looking for an actual book deal get fucked too.

what’s the alternative? artists and writers bow before the altar of fucking tiktok?? a video-only platform that prioritizes being immediately and aesthetically digestible and pretty above all else?? maybe if you have a perfectly put-together watercolor studio or a tropey fanfic novel with the names ctrl-f-replaced. i’m not saying it will become impossible to find but it will become much harder to find actually good, substantial, original, meaningful, complicated art on the internet if both twitter and tumblr go south due to mismanagement and/or no money, not only because there will be no central place to find that art but because the artists capable of producing that work probably won’t be able to make it at all if their ability to find a paying audience on a single, well-populated, and convenient website is obliterated. this is also why “just go to pillowfort” or “just go to co-host” is not a solution, because artists need money now and can’t afford to just wait for other sites to get big.

the worst aspect is that, despite everything, you can still post porn and exist as a sex worker on twitter. if musk’s twitter either finally bans it or just collapses before it even gets the chance, i feel certain that there will never be a site of as much significance that allows porn ever again. small scale like pillowfort is good for some but if you’re a sex worker who needs people to pay your for sex or sexual content for necessary income then it’s like the rust belt factory got shut down. i don’t think there’s any solution besides either a massive and complete restructuring of the internet and the content allowed on it or a massive and complete revolution of society that makes things so that people don’t need income, from selling art or sex on the internet or otherwise, to live.

#my real dark road that i cannot allow myself to go down is wondering what climate change will do to the infrastructure of specific websites #and the internet as a whole. truly absolutely nothing can or should be taken for granted!#louposting #(cow staring at the beach image) man.

22 notes · View notes

incarnateirony · 1 year

Text

Let's seal away the din of each fandom thinking their noise make them special snowflakes for a second, and look at things in scale.

Because the average reporter on these things really doesn't know the machinations of the things they seek scoops on, so let's dig a little bit, and figure out where Nexstar's heads are at.

When it was first announced, many people scratched their heads; early articles threw the same 50+ audience I had joked, but that was the line--it was a joke. It was nonsustainable for primetime at the given costs. It was just funny to say it would be full of AARP ads.

But then came time to break down how AA's demo never flinched during boycotts because of the AA audience still being one of the largest demographics consuming TV by classic means, for any variety of reasons I'm not unpacking in this post.

That is, within 18-49. And like anyone paying attention to their priority on earnings, rejoining the rest of the world in the pre-pedowitz 18-49 was the way to do it, and to fix everybody's collective problems.

This isn't a transition only rattling CW, though. CW under Nexstar is actually TAKING its bizarre underdog position, cutting its losses and jumping forward.

Over time, the 10p slot on networks has largely shut down and returned to local broadcasters and affiliates. ABC held out for a great while. But it's closing that down. That's 5 hours less scripted TV space on air anymore, flat. Less real estate.

And of that real estate, much like I warned and many report, there's an overall thinning of mass volume purchasing and bulk product creation in the industry. As a worker this does kind of suck, because less stuff being ordered means less jobs. But it also ends systemic conveyor belts that choke out other creatives outside of the megacorp's approved lever pull.

ALL networks, not just CW, are cutting several shows even in non10p slots, and essentially replacing them with unscripted content. Half of ABC is going to the slaughter house this year, every network risks its own bloodbath. CW got most of the worst of it out of the way last year, while tying up their loose ends with final seasons this spring, for the most part.

But all those people seeking unscripted content are going to be awash. You go to the Next Big Network and it, too, is thinner pastures than you remember.

Nexstar is choosing key properties it can wave around. Like hey, we grew up like you did. But remember Smallville? Remember Dawson's Creek? Yeah we got those people, and we're bringing back the sitcoms yall used to watch some days back then, but new now. And we got like, a Supernatural spinoff, but it's gay, check it out.

Suddenly 15 years of fans come rushing in hungry for content because ain't shit on TV anymore. And Nexstar then shoves them at their other new content being ordered, and uses that to repair CW's damaged userbase, resist any kind of decline, maybe even dare to pinch up numbers while others go down, or at least in the cases they're investing budget in.

The growing obsoletion of the radio towers involved in the chain of delivery that is TV is a race of syndicates modernizing by other means, like Studio City, radio ventures, streamers and network purchases. And deep down in the bones, outside of anyone yelling opinions about a TV show in particular, those are the motions we're feeling right now.

And, for what it's worth, Jensen navigated this, just like the mergers and collapses all around him before it, like a master, in a way that basically secures him as WB's leading content creator on its remaining airspace at WB, until the HBO Max Transition.

What WB is really holding out for is globalization being sustainable via subscription methods by 2025-2026 once they expect to be in all countries by end of that season, which is coincidentally around a supernatural 20 year anniversary date. But that's neither here nor there for this post, as much as: the industry is propping itself up as it slowly falls down and rebuilds.

realistically, WB only cares about maintaining a few more years of airspace, after that it's whatever, but that investment itself is in that exclusivity deal with Chaos Machine Jackles has, both for The Winchesters, and the increasing Jenmish overlap of DC and Berlanti.

These are also setting the stage for future franchise decisions, something WB notoriously struggles with--Harry Potter in major decline, DC in turmoil and more, but once their direct orders are reduced, it'll pull together. And Roth made sure Zaslav knew this about Supernatural as a slept on franchise, from the jump, while telling Jensen exactly how to run the pending obstacle course.

13 notes · View notes

thatsuhboldchoice · 1 year

Text

okay as promised more into the woods feelings

first i just want to say the sheer ENERGY of the crowd

like everyone got at least a minute of entrance applause

maybe it's just been a while since i've seen a broadway show or been in a truly full house on weekend evening performances but every show i saw there was just an absolute outpouring of love and with standing ovations at all of them

maybe i just went to popular shows but also i think maybe people are just so happy broadway is back and want to show it

i want to congratulate the producers on this show for realizing they could just STACK this cast

it's an ensemble show where everyone and i mean everyone gets something juicy and goes on a journey

also it's fav show of so many theatre folks and everyone wants a chance to sing sondheim

that said i do think it's origins as an encore performance limited it

because it did feel caught between trying to be a throw back to the obc

(which i think for myself and many cast members and many audience members we all have in our BONES like i have watched that vhs how many times)

and trying to be it's own thing

and as lovely and nostalgic as those moments were

the place where it SHINED were where the cast or director found something new

all of the puppetry and set were the stand outs because those were inventive and creative in the way that into the wood asks you to be!!

and also demonstrates what for me is key to producing into the woods

which is to realize that in addition to a healthy disrespect for the fourth wall, the seams of the production should absolutely show

and the bare bone aspect of the staging totally captured that

but i wished they could have taken the space to push it even further and done a proper revival?

i get that they were riding the high from encores and that time was of the essence in continuing that momentum

but like one of the places that felt quite fresh was anything with the princes

(which as much as i love agony okay i do think it's low hanging fruit)

but STILL they delivered something that felt different truly at its core than the obc

little red felt different

cinderella had her moments (esp at the end with the prince krysta rodriguez yelled!!!)

sjb's aforementioned moments in the woods

heck everyone found something that gave me chills and was unexpected but i couldn't help but feel they were brief moments in larger structure that was already set in a show that very much resembled the obc

WHICH AGAIN makes sense given the origins of this production and the fact that almost everyone was a replacement so even more limited rehearsal

but i want to know what sjb's and seb's baker and baker's wife entire arc could've looked like if they'd had a full rehearsal process to find it, you know?

again again not the intent of this production but it's what i can't help thinking

that said mad shout out to gavin creel who i don't really know but did not realize was that goddamn funny

like he would just stand on stage and already i'd be laughing

also i loved that sjb had moments when you could tell she had this massive belting voice just at her fingertips but since that wasn't the vibe of the show she didn't really use it

but i just still hear it in there

also i know that one day i should mature past having into the woods as one of my favorites musicals but i'm sorry i can't...it's rewatchability score is too high and it engages too directly with the themes i'm most interested in

#finally feeling like posting this #itw

3 notes · View notes

wrestlezon · 2 years

Text

liveblog containment post for aew rampage 5/27/22

i was out and about for lunch when it was live and then took a big nap

matt sydal vs bryan danielson! cool wrestlers alert dang matt sydal's gear looks good. nice outfit. its got a good balance of negative space. great design. note to self: insert pic later

see look! its good

ok that bit with danielson on his knees? yoooo

also? im glad sydal's hair isnt wet. im going to have to send an important update about this to my friend who is a lapsed wrestlefan man i never understand how sydal can do a standing backflip and then end up facing the way he faces at the end of it. acrobat heck yes!!! flip onto your feet!!! oh shit!!! the jumping roundhouse kick thing into getting caught into flipping danielson down?? heck yes me watching matt sydal and bryan danielson standing on top of the ring corner: gay sex is so complicated reverse powerbomb :O cool match but also rip

ooooo danhausen and hook recap promo

what the, what are the hardy boyz doing here LMFAO OH MY GOD? GANGREL??? OH MY GOD THE MATT FACTS? THE OVERLAY???? INCREDIBLE good shade being thrown omg??? not gangrel!!! he doesn't deserve this violence!!!!!!! yay the hardy boyz are here cutler the bump boy ok i really hope gangrel was talking to the hardy boyz like "oh i thought they were you. i got confused"

theyre adding MORE matches to the ppv? now we got darby vs kyle o'reilly on there??? theres a billion matches already!! oh i remember something about there being a big sports game going on on sunday and tony khan not wanting to start the main event until that ends... i guess itd be easier to choose to run that match or not run the match depending on how the schedule is looking than tell everyone to dynamically adjust their match durations

max caster vs dante martin! omg caster u cant say that about darius!!! rude!!!! nooooo that isnt your job aaaa boo the gunn boys LMAO they totally missed that shot-- whoever is in charge of switchin' cameras mustve been mid-sneeze or somethin glad they had the instant replay set up tho what a sick move by dante dude im always surprised at how big max caster is. every time what is it about him that makes his size deceiving... does he just not hold himself like a big guy? is his head too big proportionally to the rest of his body? does he just have short and stout legs unlike most tall guys who are, like, 75% leg??? what IS it he lost and my friend yelled in anger. sorry your boy cant win matches on tv. welcome to my world

samoa joe vs adam cole promo I Do Not Want Adam Cole To Win This least controversial opinion ever, probably. but still

DAN LAMBERT ALERT 😑😣 oh look scorpio sky got his lakers belt oh looks like they didnt forget about the second tnt belt ... yeah sure have disrespectful sloppy sex on all the championship belts. hate this i think kazarian being exasperated with them is funny but it can't make up for the rest of this

ruby vs statlander promo! look-- i dont think statlander, who was a sudden emergency replacement for the tournament, is going to win this. even though she should. she really should get something, because she rules. this promo almost convinces me that she could have a chance of winning this match though also?? ALL your friends betraying-- statlander the best friends never betrayed you. wh-- why. first youre not an alien and now this. if i didnt see chuck wearing his aloha walter shirt on tv i would think they were trying to retcon the best friends from television existence. im not going to turn into a catastrophizing wrestlefan but what about my favorite stable HUH? WHAT ABOUT THEM

THAT SCORPIO SKY TAG IS ON THE PPV TOO?????? ARE THERE THIRTEEN MATCHES ON THIS NOW OR WHAT

struggling to appreciate this ruby vs kris match because im still worked up about gimmicks where are the goofball women. where are they. where are the joshis why they are not around. jade is a mean buff strong lady, must we have two mean buff strong ladies and zero goofballs? bring back the joshis whoa-- are they really gonna make statlander win this? no they-- no they wouldn't design the tournament to be won by an emergency replacement ok there it is jesus the boos. like yeah i agree but still damn they should not have put statlander here in a bit part to lose, shes too popular. but like, i guess they kinda got caught between a rock and a hard place, because its like "oh we have an open spot here that we need to fill immediately-- who is available? who is good? who is popular?" and statlander checks all those boxes. but maybe they have other plans for her? like, if they want her to go and get jade's title or thunder rosa's title later, they would want to diversify their title allocation across different wrestlers right? so... patience? i dunno. i feel like kris statlander has such a bad run of luck because like, man. that velvet/hirsch/statlander feud never gettin an ending or resolution...

#talkzon

1 note · View note

ohbuckie · 3 years

Text

FLUORESCENT ADOLESCENT

college!bucky x reader

summary: bucky fucks you on his bedroom floor.

warnings: smut, fingering, unprotected sex

word count: 2.3k

masterlist

Bucky’s room is at the end of the hall. It’s decorated simply—white rug in the center of the floor, a desk sharing a wall with the door, a few posters littering the walls, a dresser across from the bed in the corner of the room. His bed frame is metal and cheap; flimsy, to say the least. He holds onto it while he fucks you—arm outstretched above your head, trying desperately to keep it from slamming against the wall and using the leverage it gives him to pound into you harder.

His friends’ rooms are both attached to his, with their common wall being the front one that the door is on. Sam and Steve have gotten used to banging on the walls of their bedroom in protest of the loud sex happening on the other side, or even sitting in the hallway and knocking on the door. Of course, this means nothing to Bucky, who could probably ignore a category seven earthquake in order to finish. He’s nothing if not thorough.

He tries to be considerate. He plays music loudly—something with lots of bass, to drown out at least a little bit of the sound—but it renders itself useless in between every song, when both of the guys can hear every sound the two of you make. Good sleep is a lost cause in apartment 4B.

Arriving home from a double date with your roommate, you let your jacket—Bucky’s, actually—fall from your shoulders, and you catch it in your hands to hang it up by the door. You kick off your shoes, run your fingers through your hair, find your boyfriend who scurried away to the kitchen, plant a kiss on his lips.

“That was fun.” You say, running your hands up his chest, remembering how he kissed you in the cab on the way here. He smiles and leans on the counter with the heels of his palms, with you in between his arms, in front of his chest.

His lips find yours, and you cup his cheeks in your hands, accepting the tongue that he runs along your lower lip. He tastes like the red wine that he had with his dinner and smells like the expensive cologne that you gifted him last Christmas.

“I don’t think the guys are home.” He says against your mouth, and you smile, breaking the kiss and practically running down the hallway.

He follows you to his bedroom, his hand making contact with your ass, leaving it stinging while you twist the knob and push the door open. He beats you to the bed, sitting on the edge with his legs open, waiting for you to climb onto his lap. You straddle him, feeling his arms wrap around your waist and his lips attach to your neck, delivering wet, hot kisses to your throat and collarbones. He runs his hands over your body—along your shoulder blades, down your spine, across your lower back—appreciating the figure-hugging black minidress that you’re wearing.

You lean forward to push him onto his back, catching yourself on your hands, which are positioned on either side of his head. You grind against his lap and he flips you onto your back in response, rolling his hips into yours.

You kiss like pornstars, swapping saliva between your mouths through tongues and clashing teeth, sucking and biting at plush lips. With his hips between your thighs, your dress inches further up your legs, making your red thong visible.

Your hands are free, and you use this opportunity to pull his shirt out of his pants and unbutton it until it’s open. The two sides hang down, exposing the top of his prosthetic arm and the outrageously defined muscles of his torso.

“Bucky.” You breathe, lips wetly separating from his.

“You okay?”

You nod. “Just want you.”

He chuckles teasingly, nudging your chin upwards with his nose and kissing down to your chest. You arch your back into him, pushing your fingers into the hair at the base of his head.

The room is dark, except for the animated screensaver of the open laptop of his desk and the moonlight that pours through the blinds perfectly, casting rigid bars of light across the wall opposite the bed. You reach to the nightstand beside you, pulling the cord on the lamp and wincing when it turns on as you’re staring at the bulb.

He pulls away and gathers himself, licking his lips and pushing hair from his forehead while he catches his breath. He looks up at you and smiles sweetly, kissing your cheek before standing from the bed and unbuckling his belt, unbuttoning his slacks, pulling the zipper down, shoving them past his thighs. His belt hits the floor with a jingle and he steps out of the pants that are now pooled around his ankles. Dark gray briefs are revealed, and you appreciate how nicely they cling to his legs and ass. You remember an earlier comment from him about “fancy underwear,” and you giggle to yourself when you realize that this is what he was talking about.

“What’s funny?”

“‘Fancy underwear.’” You repeat to him, and he cracks a smile before he steps over to you to get back to business.

Instead of removing your dress, he pushes it up past your hips, harshly pulling your panties down and out of his way. He kneels in front of you and kisses your inner thighs, moving up to your pussy, ghosting over it with his lips for a moment before pressing a delicate kiss to your clit, his eyes trained on yours. His gaze remains unwavering when he licks a stripe up your entire pussy. His tongue pushes between your folds and applies pressure to your sensitive bud, and you both moan—you at the sensation and him at the taste.

“Buck.” You whine. “Please.”

“Please, what?”

“Please fuck me.”

He sighs, disappointed that he can’t eat you out. Not that he isn’t excited to fuck you.

He stands and steps out of his underwear, tossing them behind his right shoulder. His cock stands against his stomach, seemingly thrilled to be freed from its fabric prison. You can’t take your eyes off of it—pretty and pink, fairly long and definitely thick enough.

He spreads his large hand over your lower stomach and lets his thumb hover over your bundle of nerves, keeping it still, for now. He gives his cock a few pumps, holding it just below the head to line it up with your entrance. He looks at you while he pushes in, because he loves the way that your eyes squeeze shut and your hips wiggle to get more comfortable with his intrusion.

He chews on his bottom lip, waiting until you stop clenching and fluttering around him before he moves. When he does, you reach to the hand on your stomach and hold his wrist tightly. He uses his other hand to put your right leg over his left shoulder, the cold metal of his mechanical hand at variance with your hot skin. You take the initiative to put your other leg up on your own.

His movements are less of a rhythmic roll and more of a pistoning in and out of you, giving you what you begged him for only a moment ago. At first, the thrusts are shallow, but after about a minute he can’t help himself anymore. With every jerk of his hips, his cock slams against a spot inside of you that only he has ever reached—although you’d never tell him that, because you’re too proud to admit that he can make you feel better than you ever could yourself.

When you let go of his wrist, he withdraws his hand, licking his thumb before putting it back where it was and putting it to use. He draws small circles into your clit, just like you taught him to do when you first started dating. You buck your hips up and it makes him smile, and you want to smack that look off of his face. You hate that he knows exactly how good he makes you feel.

You tighten around him when you study his concentrated face—how his brows furrow and he licks his lips.

“Feel good?”

“Yes.” Your voice is strained by desire.

“Good.” He mumbles, and starts to put a little more behind every thrust. He pulls almost all the way out before pushing back in, and the slapping noises that your skin makes upon contact with him is obscene. The bed frame squeaks as it rocks, and it hits the wall over and over again, at a moderate-but-still-annoying volume.

Loud knocking on the closed door startles you, but doesn’t phase Bucky.

“What?” He asks, not stopping, or even so much as looking in the direction of the interruption at the door.

Sam’s raised voice is on the other side. “At least put on the music, man. I’m tired.”

“Yeah, okay, fine. Go away.” Bucky replies. Footsteps descend and a door closes. Bucky pauses his movements, clearly annoyed, to lean over and fish his phone out of the pocket of the pants that he let fall to the floor earlier. He thanks God for Bluetooth when it automatically connects to the speaker that lives on his desk, and all he has to do is press play. He tosses the phone onto the mattress, lets it bounce behind your head, and picks up where he left off.

The music is loud enough to drown out the squeaking and the slapping, but definitely not the bed hitting the wall. You can’t bring yourself to care, because the circles against your clit are growing bigger and faster, and your eyes are rolling back into your head.

“Fu-u-uck.” You moan, syllables choppy from the way that you’re being fucked.

“You’re so hot.” He mutters, letting a breathy moan slip out after his words.

Something hits the part of the wall that Steve’s room is behind, and you both can hear shouting. “Shut up!”

Neither of you respond.

A familiar feeling pools in your lower stomach, tightening and threatening to spill. “I’m so close, Buck.”

You tense around him, squeezing his cock and surely bringing him close, too. He pulls out suddenly, but quickly replaces his dick with two of his fingers, curling them against the upper wall of the inside of your pussy. It shoves you violently over the edge, and you cum with a moan that rips through your chest and leaves your throat burning. His fingers continue to move through your orgasm and he watches your legs tremble, kissing your calves that are still rested beside his head.

“You good?”

You only nod.

“We’re being too loud on the bed. Get on the floor.” He orders, and you breathe through your nose, exhaling through your mouth before you stand on wobbly legs. Before you lower yourself to the floor, covered by his pristinely clean, white rug, he clarifies, “Hands and knees.”

The bass of the music booms through your chest, reverberates through your bones, echoes through your head. You feel him kneel behind you, putting one foot onto the floor for balance. You wish you could see him right now—shirt open, sweaty chest heaving, cock standing at attention, ready to fuck you to completion for the second time. He tilts his head down and you can hear him spit onto his dick before shoving it back into you, exercising no restraint.

Your head bows between your shoulders, and you try not to be too loud, because Sam and Steve hardly ever let you hear the end of it when you do, but Bucky’s making it extremely difficult. He’s taking what he wants now, since he’s already made you cum.

His hands hold your hips like they’re handles, yanking your body backwards onto his cock at the same time that he’s ramming into you. His breathing is heavy, and you close your eyes to picture his face right now. A piece of hair over his forehead, fallen from the gelled mass atop his head, jaw tight, abs tensing. That’s what he usually looks like, anyway, when he’s fucking you into oblivion. It’s an image that’s forever burned behind your eyelids.

His hips are moving bruisingly fast, bringing you closer to another orgasm. It’s actually more like you’re being dragged behind a pick-up truck that’s approaching a cliff and is showing no signs of stopping.

It takes only a hard clench to throw off his rhythm and have him cumming inside of you, scrambling to blindly locate your clit with only his fingertips so that you can finish together. He rolls it between his fingers, rubs haphazardly, and gets lucky when you cry out that you’re there again.

“Bucky! Oh, fuck!” Your knees sting from the rug beneath them, and your hands make a fist around the strings between your fingers. “Oh my God.”

He pulls out slowly, kissing down your spine while his warm seed spills out of you, trickling down your leg.

You lay on your back on the floor, much too tired to stand, and watch him pull his briefs back up, on a mission to dampen a face cloth to wipe you down with. He comes back with one, and wipes the cum from your legs and pussy, leaving small kisses in the wake of the warm water that refreshes you.

He gives a final kiss to your lower stomach before he tosses the cloth in the direction of his hamper. He lays beside you on the floor, taking your face in his metal hand and pressing sweet kisses to your cheeks and forehead and chin.

It's silent for a moment, before he decides, "I need to invest in a sturdier bed."

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan smut #bucky barnes fluff #sebastian stan fluff

2K notes · View notes

noctumbra · 3 years

Text

𝒘𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒆

summary ─ after a busy day what would you do other than having a couple drinks? ah, yes, you’d agree to spend a night with one of the most handsome men you’ve ever seen and whom you only know his name. perfect, wasn’t it?

pairing ─ stepdad!bucky barnes x reader

warnings ─ smut, +18, heavy age gap (reader is in her early 20s, bucky is in mid 40s), dom!bucky (light), kissing, oral sex, fingering, one night stand, dirty talk, pet names, cheating/infidelity

a/n ─ hello :D hope y’all like it sdgfsdjshd please leave a comment if you do! thank you so much!!! <33

It was a Friday, and you left school an hour ago only to perch yourself on top of a stool at a bar, asking for a glass of whiskey. It was a particularly intense day; professors demanding a lot shit from you and telling you to get them done if you wanted your master’s, you were going insane slowly, you thought. Sometimes you regretted your choice to get your master’s, but it was what you wanted, so you were grinding as hard as you could.

Sighing, you thanked the bartender when he placed your drink in front of you. The guy smiled at you and walked towards another customer. You took a sip, relishing the burn of the delicious drink, you hummed. It was funny how a sip of a drink that burned your throat while going down could make you feel relaxed already.

“Hello.”

You opened your eyes and swallowed the rest the drink you’ve been keeping in your mouth. Putting the glass where the bartender placed in front of you, you turned to the source of the voice. The voice had belonged to a very handsome guy. He had a navy blue suit on him with first two buttons of his white dress shirt were undone, no tie. He had blue-gray and beautiful eyes; his hair had whites and grays peppered in it just like his faint stubble. He must be in his forties, you thought as a smile spread over your lips. His lips mimicked yours as he, too, smiled at you.

“Hi,” you murmured. The guy’s smile widen just a little. He placed his empty glass on the counter and signaled another one.

“May I join you?” He asked. His voice was smooth, had right amount of deepness in it. He would sound great if he were to read stories at a radio station, you thought and frowned slightly. That was a weird thought.

“Um, sure,” you said, shuffling on your seat. “Of course.” The guy sent you another blinding smile, and you had to ignore the back flip your stomach did. He gracefully slid into the stool right next to yours and extended his hand.

“James,” he introduced himself. Feeling your face heating up under his intense gaze, you held his hand, shaking slightly.

“Y/N,” you said, and James hummed. The bartender gave James his drink, thanking the guy when he tipped him. “What made you want to join me?” You asked without missing a beat. James chuckled softly into his drink.

“You looked tired, maybe a little desperate for something different,” he murmured. His voice was so soft, you could fall asleep if he were to talk to you like that at a place where there was no one but you two. Oh. “I also wanted to come up to you and see if I could get you to agree to spend a night with me.”

You barely managed not to choke on the sip you took. “Spend a night with you?” You asked, eyebrows raised and you had a surprised look on your face. James nodded.

“That is if you want to, of course, I’m not here to push you into something you don’t want to,” James said, sipping his own drink. “Honestly, I need something more relaxing than a drink.”

You frowned slightly. You agreed on that because, yes, you needed something more relaxing than this damn drink in your hand. Your body had been tight and tensed as hell for a while now, and one of the most handsome guys you’ve ever seen was offering you to spend a night with him. It surely felt too good to be true. You were going to take it, though, just in case if you woke up or something. At least, you’d have one hell of a sex dream.

“Alright,” you said, “Okay, I’ll spend a night with you.” You nodded and finished your drink. “You better make me come, though,” you added. The chuckle you received was dark and filled with promise. You were loving this already.

“Don’t worry, honey,” James says with a dark tone. The intensity in his gaze increased, and you shivered. “I’ll make you body sing.”

───

A loud moan echoed in the fancy hotel room, and your back arched into James’ mouth around your nipple. His tongue was wet and hot and teasing your nipple in a way that you’ve never experienced─

“Ah, fuck!” Crying out, you gasped when his teeth grazed the sensitive and swollen flesh in his mouth. His fingers were assaulting your pussy and your clit; you felt your body vibrating violently. Swallowing your spit before it threatened you to choke, you widened the stance of your legs in a way of begging him to move onto the next step.

James chuckled.

“No,” he said simply, pulling off your breast. You panted. Your clothes were ground, discarded carelessly, while James was still in his suit, only his jacket was off and hanging on the corner of an armchair. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows; he was letting you see the tattoos he had on his forearms.

“Please,” you whine when his thumb started its ministrations on your clit. “God, please, James, please!” Your back arched against the ceiling when you felt his tongue joining his fingers in your pussy. This time choking on your spit, your mouth opened for a silent scream.

“Taste so damn good,” James murmured against your pussy, his voice sending vibrations that had you bucking against his face. James fidgeted in his place, rubbing his hard dick on the bed, he groaned. “Touch yourself,” he ordered as he straightened. You bit your lip and complied. Your fingers found your throbbing clit and you started to rub it slowly. Moaning, your head fell back and your eyes closed. Your fingers were rubbing your clit fast, now. Your other hand’s fingers were playing with your nipple that James didn’t get a chance to put his mouth on.

“Fuck,” James whispered at the sight before him and fumbled with his suit pants. His belt came off easily and he quickly undone the button, pulled down the zipper and got rid of both his pants and boxers in one go. Taking his shoes off in the meantime, he pulled his shirt off, too. He grabbed his wallet, fished out a condom and hastily put it on. Usually, he would be calm and collected at these kinds of things, but something about you made him feral.

Climbing on the bed, James found his spot between your spread legs. Your fingers were inches away from his hard cock, playing with your wet as fuck pussy. James rumbled a groan deep in his chest as he hastily flicked your fingers away and replaced them with his own. His calloused fingers collected your juices, spread them all over the tender flesh of your pussy and his thumb pressed down on your clit, feeling it throb slightly.

You cried out in pleasure. You were so close, so damn close, you just wanted to come. Your body was taut with how close your orgasm were to take over your body, and James chuckled. He knew exactly how you feel, could feel it with the tips of his fingers.

“D’you wanna come, baby?” He hummed, his huge body was leaning over yours; caging and covering and clouding your senses perfectly. You whimpered as you nodded vigorously. “Come then,” James commanded. “Come now, and I’ll make you come twice more before we call it a night. Then, I’ll fuck you in the morning and give you two more, hm? Whaddaya say?”

Your whimpers turned into gasps. Your legs were quivering on both sides of James, and you felt your eyes rolling backwards as your back arched and you came on James’ fingers. You could hear James growling and murmuring approving praises here and there, but he sounded like he was far away. Your ears were howling, your body felt tingly all over and your mind was drifting totally different place; you knew it.

Smiling dopily, you made grabby hands towards James. He chuckled lightly as he dropped almost all of his body bulk over yours and pressed kisses all over your neck and face. You hummed happily.

“In me,” you whined. “You promised me more orgasms, in me.”

James groaned and nicked your neck. Without saying anything, he grabbed his hard cock and ran it through your folds once and twice and third time until he had you whimpering beneath him. Then, he braced himself on the headboard, his cock slipping in your slick heat; James threw his head back to moan loudly.

“Oh, sugar, fuck,” James whispered raggedly. “Your lil’ kitty squeezing the life outta me, shit.” You hummed again as you tightened around him intentionally. James gasped; losing the hold he had on the headboard, he fell onto elbows. He panted into your neck for a couple seconds before he started to move. He fidgeted on his knees, getting his thighs against yours more, he bent your legs towards your chest with his body. You looked small under him in that position. You felt small and you loved it. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in. As soon as James’ lips found yours, you let out a small moan which he swallowed happily. His hips were moving, slow and sensual movements first, stroking your walls all deep and beautifully.

He wanted to fuck you like this: deep and slow thrusts, stealing all the breathy little noises you make whenever he grazed some place sensitive in you while being this close.

He was too keyed up for that, though.

Snarling, James’ hips quickened the pace. His heavy and full balls were hitting your now-wet flesh, making obscene sounds as he slammed into you, you moaned. His cock was big: the length was just a little bit above-average but the girth he had─ whew. He was filling you so good was what you focused on at the end.

“Oh, shit,” you gasped, “James, holy shit, James!” Your body shook with the force of his thrusts. His hips were slamming against yours almost painfully, but the pleasure his cock was giving you clouded the pain away.

“Yeah,” he moaned with a raspy voice. “Yeah, princess, gimme, c’mon.” His hot breath was washing over the sensitive skin of your neck, his stubble was rubbing against the same skin and his lips were closed around your earlobe. You whimpered as you tossed your head back. You could feel his orgasm creeping closer by the twitch of his cock in you and the tightening of his abs against your belly. You wanted him to come so hard that it’d make him lose it. Moaning at the thought, you grabbed him even tighter, pulled him closer and you dug your nails on his muscled back.

“Unnh,” you gasped and moaned and whimpered at the same time. “Come in me,” You begged. “God, fuck, come in me, please!”

You heard him snarl first and then, a growl made its way out of his chest. His hands grabbed your thighs and bent them even more against your chest. The pistoning motions of his hips got delirious, faster, quicker─ desperate. Biting your lip, your dragged your nails down, leaving angry red lines on his meaty back and whimpered once again.

“Please,” you begged. You knew he was right there, and you weren’t far from where he was. “I wan’it. Please, come in me, please─”

With a loud gasp, James came. His cock twitched in you madly, his thighs squeezed around your hips and his balls jerked. The twitch of his cock and tightened grasp of his hands pushed you over the edge for a second time that night, and you cried out, burying the noise in James’ skin by biting him on the shoulder, hard.

It took both of you some time to come down from your mind-blowing orgasms. It took you a little longer to re-gain the muscle feeling of your body although you still felt tingly and blissed the fuck out.

“Holy shit,” you whispered. You heard him chuckle.

“Holy shit, indeed,” he agreed with amusement present in his voice. He sat up and disposed the condom, ditching it into the trash. You lay on the bed, senseless, and listened to him going around in the bathroom. A minute later he came out with a wet cloth on his hand, helping you clean up roughly.

“Thanks,” you murmured, shying away from him all of a sudden. James smiled. He really was the most handsome and pretty guy you’ve ever seen. He winked at you cheekily, leaning over for a kiss.

“Wanna join me in the shower? I was thinking we could order some room service and get some of the calories we lost in the past hour.” You chuckled, already getting up. James held out his hand, and you grabbed it, smiling at him.

“Sure, why not?” You agreed.

Later, you realized that you would agree to almost anything when it came to James.

────

Two Weeks Later

You sighed as you collected your papers on the kitchen table where you’ve been abusing yourself to study for the past two hours. Your brain was refusing to focus on the papers, focus on studying, and kept reminding you of that guy from the bar. The guy who fucked you senseless, ripped two orgasms in one round only and then pulled four more; two in round two and two more in the morning just like he promised he would. You had spent such a nice time with him and have been secretly hoping that you’d see him again, so you kept going to the bar.

He never showed up.

Although you tried not to let it get you too much, you couldn’t help but feel a sting on your chest. You wanted to see him again, wanted to spend time with him. You knew that even only talking with him would make you feel better, you didn’t need to have sex, but he never showed up.

So, you tried to move on, to forget him, but it seemed a bit impossible since your brain kept reminding how amazing that one night you spent with him once in every two hours.

Sighing once again, you stood from the table with your papers and folder in your hand. Your mother said that she was going to have a guest joining you tonight, for a dinner. It was almost 7PM now, your mother and her guest would be at home in ten minutes, you thought.

The food was ready, your mother cooked it last night and you helped with the dessert. You hoped the guest liked cherry since you made a cherry pie. The house was clean; you made sure that everything was normal and there was nothing they shouldn’t have seen around.

After changing into a nice, maroon colored, long-sleeved dress from your sweatpants and t-shirt you moved back into the kitchen. You were in the middle of getting the table ready when you heard your mother talking in the doorway.

“She must be home,” your mother was saying and you smiled as you made your way to the door and open it before she could ring the bell. “Ah! There she is! Hello, sweetie!” She quickly pulled you into a hug and gave you kisses. You kept the door open as she walked inside and invited her guest inside. “Come on! Don’t be shy. I promise she won’t bite.” Your mother chuckled as you rolled your eyes at her joke. You would bite if it was necessary, you wanted to say but kept it to yourself.

You heard a familiar chuckle at first and then, he walked inside.

James.

Oh, shit, you thought as you felt your stomach doing flips in your body.

“Hello,” he said quietly. His beautiful blue-gray eyes were carrying a mischievous glint in them as he smiled shyly at you. “I’m James, but everyone who’s close to me calls me Bucky.” He extended his hand out to you, and you took it, surprised.

“Y/N,” you murmured. You could see your mother smiling happily at you two.

“Ah, Y/N,” she said, “I wish I told you this earlier, but I didn’t know we would take this way, it happened rather quickly,” she continued. “We’ve been seeing each other for a while, now, and… Bucky just… asked.” You frowned as you pulled your hand free from his grasp.

“What do you mean he just asked? Asked what?” Your mother’s smile turned a bit dopey as she held James’ hand.

“Y/N, my sweet babygirl, I want you to meet my fiancé, James Barnes.”

Fiancé.

You fucked your soon-to-be-stepfather two weeks ago.

Fuck.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #stepdad!bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #stepdad!bucky #wicked tongue #bucky barnes au #daddy bucky

2K notes · View notes

gojo-x-reader · 3 years

Text

Not So Special Now

Relationship(s): F!Reader x Gojo Satoru

Warnings: canon-typical violence

Tags: fluff (at the end), reader-focused

AO3 Link: here

Words: ~4k

Request: “hello there, i love ur soulmate and marriage life hc 🥺 can you make scenario/hc/drabble whatever u prefer where his fem/gn so is also a sorcerer and gets hurt/injured on a mission? thank you!”

“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” Your boyfriend, Satoru, asked you. His hands were on your biceps, giving it a worried, yet comforting squeeze.

“Yes, Satoru,” you answered, a little annoyed at how he was treating you. It’s been several years since either of you were in high school; this wasn’t your first mission.

“I can’t help but worry, you know. It’s your first ever special grade assignment.”

“Just because I’m not the same rank as you, Mr. Special Grade, doesn’t mean I’m weak. Besides, there are two others going so I’m not doing this alone.”

“I know, I know.” Satoru pressed his lips gently onto your forehead, then gazed into your eyes lovingly. In a rare instance while on the job, his blindfold was replaced with dark sunglasses. You reached up to shift them down, allowing you to gaze into his bright blue eyes. They were breathtaking no matter how many times you saw them. You moved your hands from his glasses to his shoulders, forcing him down so you could reach up to leave a chaste kiss on his lips.

“I’ll see you tonight,” you promised.

The two of you embraced one more time before you joined your other group members for the mission. You turned back and waved at him as the three of you entered the car to be driven to the location for your mission.

“Sure wish Gojo-san was coming with us,” one of them mused. “He could handle this mission single-handedly and we could just stay home.” He sighed deeply, then put in headphones and stared out the window.

“Why isn’t he taking this mission?” your other group member asked. She stared at you, eager to know.

You had just met these two today (not even knowing their names, except that they were both Grade 1 sorcerers like you) and you weren’t sure how well this mission would go. “Well,” you began, “for one, he works best alone. Second, Satoru fights best when he’s away from civilians.”

The girl hummed, then crossed her arms in thought. The three of you awkwardly rode in silence for about five minutes, before the girl grabbed your arm suddenly. “Soooo, how long have you been dating Gojo Satoru?” She asked eagerly. There was something about her that seemed familiar, but you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

You weren’t sure why this was any business of someone you just met, but you decided to indulge her to hopefully make this awkward car ride, well, less awkward.

“Two years, almost three,” you answered. The two of you had known each other since high school, but it wasn’t until almost four years ago that you had reconnected after you moved back to Tokyo, and almost three years ago when you started dating. To this day you still had no clue why he would get a crush on you over all people. There were much prettier girls he had spent more time with, why you?

“Annnnd? A ring soon?” She gushed, gripping your arm harder.

You shrugged. Satoru and you had discussed marriage at some point, but both of you were busy at the moment, especially with Ryomen Sukuna being somewhat revived into the world. While Yuuji was still technically “dead” to others, Satoru had trusted you enough to tell you about how his student had pretty much been revived from the dead. On your days off, you often visited your boyfriend and helped out with Yuuji’s training regime. He was a nice kid, despite his circumstances and being thrown into the jujutsu world suddenly.

The girl let go of your arm and got out her phone, furiously typing to someone. “Oh, my little sister won’t be happy to hear about this.”

“Little sister?”

“Yeah, my sister Momo goes to Kyoto. She’s pretty close with another girl, Kasumi, who I consider almost like another younger sister. She was super excited to meet Gojo-san a week ago. She’s like a superfan of him or something. I like to indulge her sometimes. I think she even made a fan club for Gojo-san or something. Anyways, Momo, even though she’s friends with Kasumi, she often gets annoyed with her talk about Gojo-san.”

You vaguely remember Satoru mentioning a girl from Kyoto that asked him for a picture. It wasn’t exactly a rare occurrence for your boyfriend to be asked to take pictures with, from the jujutsu world or from civilians; he had devastatingly good looks, so you couldn’t blame any of the people who asked for pictures. Besides, you knew his heart belonged to you and you only, so you were fine with others recognizing his allure.

“Oh, Kasumi’s calling me,” the girl said. She answered her phone, only for a younger voice to scream over the speaker. It was loud enough that you could hear it. Your teammate held her phone away from her ear.

“What do you mean he has a girlfriend?”

“Oh, come on Kasumi. You know how handsome he is. Besides, he’s like, what, twenty-eight? Twenty-nine?”

“Twenty-eight, twenty-nine in December,” you confirmed.

“Way too old for you, ma’am,” the girl relayed to Kasumi.

“I don’t like him like that , Sumi-san! I j-just really admire him, okay! W-Who wouldn’t? World’s strongest jujutsu sorcerer in all.”

“Mhm. Anyway, I’ve got a mission today with the said girlfriend of Gojo Satoru. Want me to get you an autograph?” Sumi joked.

“...Could you?”

You let out a tiny laugh. This girl was funny, so you decided to humor her and leaned toward the phone. “One autograph for Kasumi?”

“M-Miwa Kasumi!” the voice on the phone squeaked out. She told you what kanji made up her name as you rummaged for a scrap piece of paper and pen from your bag. You made out the autograph, laughing a bit as you handed it to Sumi.

After you told her you signed an autograph for her, Kasumi said goodbye, hanging up the phone before Sumi could reply goodbye back. She seemed embarrassed about the ordeal.

“You were right, she seems like a good kid.”

“Kasumi is nice. She really balances out how serious my little sister Momo is,” Sumi responded.

For the rest of the car ride, you and Sumi chatted. Apparently, this was also her first Special Grade mission, as well as her first mission after graduating from Kyoto. Their other group member was also from Kyoto; he was two years Sumi’s senior. His name was Takahashi Daisuke. She didn’t know much about him since he tended to keep to himself. But she did know this wasn’t his first Special Grade mission. That relieved you substantially since you were nervous about this mission (as much as you didn’t want to admit to Satoru).

Eventually, the roads transformed from paved to just dirt. The driver turned onto a road on a hill, then began briefing the three of you on your mission. This was a Special Grade, suspected to be awakened by a Sukuna finger. This was just based on speculation, since the last Special Grade to pop up was from a Sukuna finger as well. The Special Grade had taken over an abandoned shrine, supposedly terrorizing the local village just down the hill (which had been evacuated just hours before). As the driver parked the car, the three of you exited the car. The air was crisp, with a distinct chill in the air. You could sense a particularly strong cursed energy in the premises, on par with Satoru’s cursed energy. You shuddered; this was not going to be an easy task.

The driver placed a curtain around the area, the sky darkening. It only made the situation seem even more grave. There was something in your gut telling you to run, not from being scared of the Special Grade, but because something bad was going to happen.

Sumi grabbed a wand from her belt. Her family was a pretty small sorcerer family on her mother’s side, as she had told you in the car. She and her sister have cursed techniques similar to “witches”; hers involved spells while her sister’s involved levitating a broom, among other objects.

Your cursed techniques, however, involved nature. There was a reason why you were selected specifically for this mission; the shrine was in the middle of the forest, the perfect place for you to go wild. Cities like Tokyo were incredibly constraining for you to use your cursed techniques, so you almost exclusively were assigned missions out in the country where nature was plentiful.

Neither you nor Sumi knew what Daisuke’s cursed technique was, but you assumed it was pretty strong considering he had been on missions with Special Grades before.

The mission started off fine. The three of you approached the shrine. It wasn’t particularly impressive, nothing that you would expect to house a Special Grade curse. The stone torii at the entrance was standing tall, unbothered by neither age nor the moss and vines growing on it. The shrine itself, however, was crumbling. One of the pillars holding up the roof was destroyed, so the roof was lopsided. The shimenawa knots were cut in half, the ends completely frayed. Definitely not a good sign.

After crossing the torii , you felt the Special Grade’s presence. It was overwhelming, unlike anything else you had experienced before. It possessed near-equal amounts of cursed energy as Satoru, but unlike your boyfriend, it held malicious intent within its cursed energy. To your left, Sumi was shaking. You held out a shaky hand onto her shoulder and squeezed. While you yourself didn’t feel confident about this mission now, you had a duty as the oldest member of the group here to be strong, for their sake.

The shrine began to shake, then the roof was suddenly blown off. You used your cursed technique to form a barrier of tree roots that erupted from the ground. Slabs of wood hit the roots, then bounced off. After the rain of wood subsided, you controlled the roots back into the ground in their original position.

You finally got a good look at the Special Grade curse. It was humanoid, but only in form. Its flesh was midnight blue, with eyes covering every centimeter of its body. Great, it had no blind spots. The curse had no apparent mouth, yet you were able to hear it let out an intimidating roar.

Daisuke made the first strike. He quickly pointed a handgun at the Special Grade and pulled the trigger. Out came a burst of his own cursed energy instead of a bullet. The blow just grazed the Special Grade enough for it to let out a screech of pain. Interesting, so this was his cursed energy. You wondered if it was limited to guns, or if he could apply it to a bow as well and use his cursed energy for arrows. You’d have to ask him later after this mission was completed.

It was apparent after Daisuke revealed his cursed technique that all of you were primarily distance fighters. There wasn’t much Sumi could do if her cursed technique focused on spells through her wand apparatus and Daisuke seemed to only have a gun on him. So, that meant you had to switch to a melee approach.

You weren’t the biggest fan of hand to hand combat. You weren’t very strong, preferring to assist from a distance. Recently, Satoru has been helping you learn new ways of fighting in close quarters. You decided to take the risk and make an attempt at using this still relatively new technique. You reached out your hands, summoning leaves from the trees. They surrounded your fists like boxing gloves, your cursed energy reinforcing the leaves to be almost as hard as the bark from the trees they came from.

You sprinted toward the Special Grade, preparing to land a blow. As you reared back for a punch, the Special Grade disappeared from in front of you. Then you felt a blow land on your back and you were sent through the forest until a particularly thick tree stopped your projectile body. Luckily, you reacted quickly enough to reinforce your front with cursed energy. If it wasn’t for your quick thinking, you probably would’ve been knocked out immediately.

You picked yourself up from the ground, but the world was spinning. You leaned against a tree to collect your thoughts and rest a bit. The Special Grade was insanely fast and had no blind spots. You were panicking; this was well out of your skillset. Perhaps Daisuke was right; Satoru should’ve joined in on this mission. But you knew that wasn’t possible, as he also had his own Special Grade mission to handle today.

You brought a hand up to your face and gave yourself a hard smack. This was no time to doubt yourself or panic. You had two comrades out there fighting a Special Grade curse alone. There was no doubt that the Special Grade would notice you if you tried to rejoin the fight, at least on the ground. Your best bet would be to get the high ground; there would be fewer eyes on the top half, so the chances of you being noticed would be less than if you arrived by foot.

Okay, you had an idea. Now, to get an idea of how the fight was going. You kneeled down to the ground and placed your hand onto the ground, closing your eyes. You sent a minimal, hardly detectable pulse of cursed energy toward the fight through the ground. From what nature informed you, the fight was mostly one-sided in favor of the Special Grade. Daisuke was pretty beat up, and Sumi wasn’t in good shape either.

You got up then hurriedly began climbing the nearest tree. As you climbed up, you manipulated the bark to form grooves for you to place your hands and feet on. As you reached a decent height, you created a bridge with the overlapping tree branches sturdy enough for your weight. You sprinted across the bridge, ignoring your double vision. You definitely had a concussion, but now was not the time for you to worry about that. You didn’t wanna lose your comrades on this mission. Not again.

You wiped the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes. In your final year of Tokyo High, your two classmates were killed right before your eyes on a mission. You escaped out of pure luck, but was determined to get stronger to avenge their deaths. If you let those two die… well, then, that meant you hadn’t gotten strong enough to protect anyone else.

Once you were just out of sight range of the cursed spirit, you closed your eyes to sense the battle again. Sumi was sitting on the ground, back to a tree as she watched the fight between Daisuke and the Special Grade. She was barely conscious, and it seemed like she had lost a lot of blood. You had an idea, but in order for it to work, you needed her help.

Using thin vines, you sent a message within her sight: I am still alive. I’m going to trap the Special Grade curse with branches. Use a fire spell on it when it’s bound.

All you could hope was that she was able to read the message and had enough cursed energy to cast the spell. You began moving branches from distant trees close to the Special Grade, as fast as possible without your cursed energy being detected. Once they were close enough, you waited for the right moment.

As Daisuke finally landed a hit with his cursed energy, moving the curse to the center of the shrine remnants, you launched your attack. The branches extended as fast as you could make them move. The hit Daisuke landed had temporarily slowed the Special Grade, enough for your branches to immobilize it. As the branches gripped the curse, Sumi sent a fire spell toward it, just as planned.

The branches (and the cursed spirit) caught on fire. But something was wrong; normally, you could extract cursed energy from a curse with your cursed technique to exorcise, but that wasn’t happening. Was it resisting? You felt a tug on the branches.

Without thinking, you acted on your own. You re-equipped the leaves cursed technique, as you jumped from the trees above. As gravity brought you closer to the Special Grade, you reared back to prepare the punch you had wanted to introduce it to earlier. As your fist landed on the curse, you allowed the leaves to leave your fist, sending it into the curse’s body. The leaves caught on fire before they entered the curse, imploding it.

So, you managed to exorcise the Special grade. But, doing so took all of your cursed energy and you had no more left to cushion your fall. Luckily, you managed to adjust your fall so that you slid on your stomach parallel to the ground instead of falling headfirst. It still hurt, and you definitely broke a few ribs doing that.

You somehow had enough energy to turn yourself onto your back, looking up at the starry night sky as the curtain was released. Your first Special Grade mission. Everyone lived and you exorcised it without Satoru’s help. Ha. He would be so proud of you.

You began to fall into unconsciousness right as you felt familiar arms lift you up.

When you woke up, you were in Shoko’s infirmary. There was a thin blanket covering your bottom half. Suddenly the events came back to you.

You sat up, gasping for air. Where were Sumi and Daisuke?

“You might want to lay back down,” a familiar voice told you. “Shoko healed you, but the pain might still be there.”

You did as the voice said, laying back at the elevated position you woke up in. You look over and blinked a few times, seeing your boyfriend sitting in a chair next to your bed. He was in his work uniform, including his blindfold. You winced as you felt a pain in your chest; Satoru was right, there still was residual pain.

“I exorcised a Special Grade,” you croaked.

“I know. I’m proud of you.” He grabbed your hand and squeezed it, giving you a soft smile, showing off his tiny dimples. His smile quickly turned to a frown as he lectured, “However, what you did was risky and crazy.”

“Aren’t you the one who says that jujutsu sorcerers have to be crazy to survive?” you argued.

“Yes, but there’s a difference between crazy and throwing your life away.”

“You saw that?” you asked, much more awake than you were a few seconds ago.

“I hurried as fast as I could with my own mission to come assist you if you needed. I got there right as you pulled that stunt of yours.”

You pulled your hand from his and placed your face in both of your hands, embarrassed that he saw you launch yourself from several meters high, use up all of your cursed energy, then make a hard landing onto the ground.

“How’s the other two?” you asked, refusing to move your face from your hands.

“Alive and doing well. You’re the most beat-up out of everyone.”

You removed your hands, clasping them together in your lap. “Thank goodness…”

“There wasn’t a Sukuna finger either,” Satoru reported to you. “The villagers’ fear of the shrine must have caused it to grow to a Special Grade. Now, come on. Shoko said you could come home once you woke up.” Satoru stood up, then scooped you up from the bed. You screamed in protest, now wide awake.

“Wha--Put me down!”

“No can do, honey. Doctor’s orders. Nothing strenuous for the next week.”

“Satoru, I don’t think walking counts as strenuous!”

He smiled his signature shit-eating grin, then gave you a kiss on your forehead. No fair, he knew forehead kisses were your weakness. You melted into his arms at how tender his kiss was, now docile and less likely to argue with him.

In a flash, he teleported the two of you to his apartment, setting you on the bed in front of him. After placing you on the bed, he yanked off his blindfold and began rummaging through his dresser, looking for a set of his clothes for you to wear. He tossed the shirt and pants toward you, not even bothering to turn around while you changed. You’d been together for so long (or at least, it felt like a long time) that there wasn’t anything particularly embarrassing about changing in front of each other.

You winced while lifting your hands up to take off your shirt, so Satoru was by your side in an instant, helping you take off your shift without much pain. He even helped you out of your bra and put on his shirt.

“You don’t need me to help you with the pants, do you?” he teased.

“I think I can handle it on my own,” you replied, standing up and shuffling out of your pants. Satoru’s pants were much too long for you, so you had to roll not only the waistband but also the cuffs so that they didn’t constantly drag on the ground. Not like you minded doing that; there was just something about his clothes that was infinitely more comforting than your own, and he knew that more than anyone else.

As you adjusted the pants, Satoru left the bedroom to head toward the kitchen, no doubt to start cooking some of your favorite foods. You laid down on your shared bed, happy to be home. It was a long day (Days? How long were you even unconscious?) and you were glad to have such a caring boyfriend, even if he was being a little annoying about this.

About an hour later, Satoru came into the bedroom with a tray of food. He wouldn’t let you even touch the chopsticks, insisting on feeding you food because he didn’t want you to “strain yourself.” You thought he was just being a little too overprotective, but you allowed him to feed you anyway. The look of satisfaction on his face was just too cute for you to deny him this tiny pleasure.

After dinner, you immediately wanted to go to bed. Satoru quickly ate his portion of dinner then changed out of his work clothes into something much more comfortable to sleep in. He joined you under the covers, using his cursed energy to turn off the lights. You felt his arms gently snake their way around your waist, pressing you into his front. You sighed in contentment; he was warm, but not too warm.

After a few seconds of silence, you piped up, “Satoru?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for taking care of me. I love you.”

He placed a gentle kiss on your neck, just behind your ear. “Anything for you, my love,” he breathed onto your neck. You could feel him smiling gently. “Maybe we should just get married.”

You grumbled something, not even quite sure what you said or even what he said completely. Before sleep overtook you, you mumbled out one last final “I love you,” incredibly happy to be in your boyfriend’s arms at the moment.

#gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen

536 notes · View notes

hawksugarbaby · 3 years

Text

Kirishima x reader- Magnum

Smut

Chapter includes: Temp play (cold), blow job, sex in a small Space, slight praise.

After an hour or so in the freezer you were sufficiently cooled down, the hot summers day had gone cold as the sun lowered and you had spent your time teasing kiri. You had also ran out of ice lollies.

But it was time to get out of the freezer. Because you were surprisingly getting cold, there was only so much your quirk could do especially since you were keeping two people warm, it was more work with the air cooling down. "Can you help me back out?" You asked, flailing your arms over the side of the freezer, It was a little too tall.

Kiri on the other hand wasn't paying attention. His mind had been wandering for far too long. Popsicles. How dare they make you look so enticing. He couldn't stop the thoughts plaguing his head, and he felt a little guilty thinking such lewd thoughts about you.

He looked up for a moment, he hadn't realised you were trying to get out the freezer until now when you were in a rather compromising position. You were bent over the side of the freezer your arms dangling and you continued to try to hop over the side. "W-what are you doing?" His face burned red and hot, images getting more vivid the longer he stared. "Trying to get out of this freezer, its getting kinda cold"

Suddenly his confidence grew 3x what it was, he stood up and you sighed thankfully expecting him to help you out. Instead he grabbed your hips pulling you back into the freezer and sat down again "I could warm you up?" He whispered lowly into your ear sending shivers down your spine that you knew weren't from the cold.

"H-how do you plan on that?" Despite your best efforts of sounding alluring it came out a mess. You chewed on your lip, your ragged breaths coming out foggy and your heart hammered in your chest. He shifted you so you were straddling his lap and your face erupted in flames feeling the hard tent in his jeans. How hadn't you noticed that before? It should have been VERY obvious.

He hadn't spoke, he kept his lips clamped shut he tilted your chin up, Your (e/c) eyes met his, the black pupils swallowed the crimson making him look more shark like than ever. He leaned in meeting your soft, warm lips with his icy cold ones. He swiped his tongue (which was even cooler) over your bottom lip asking for entrance and as if under some spell you granted.

Why were his lips so cold?

You shivered and he pulled away with a grin holding an ice cube between his pointy teeth, it was melting fast and you looked away "where did you even get that? How did I not notice you put that in your mouth?" He shifted, and a bag of ice cubes was propping him up, you had thought the freezer was empty, guess you were wrong but how was he not absolutely frozen.

Your thoughts didn't seem to matter since he shrugged and pulled you forward locking your lips again, the icy cold cube melting against your tongue, trickling down your throat. You moaned into the kiss as he pulled you deeper under his spell, your hair stood on end, and you had goosebumps all up your arms. He pulled away from your lips and traced kisses down your jaw leaving drops of biting cold water off of his lips on their place.

"K-kiri what are you doing" you shuddered, his lips travelled further down your neck the ice cube starting to melt rapidly the closer it got to your chest where your fire was stored. It was a strange sensation, the freezing cold felt… good? It was different, very different, but it wasn't at all bad. "Your enjoying this a lot more than i thought you would" he murmured against your neck, he was right about that much You didn't expect this reaction in the slightest!

His shark teeth nibbled along your neck down to your collar bone, occasionally they would accidentally pierce your skin and a pearl of blood would stain the vest he had given you. Hot purple marks littered up your throat and neck, down your shoulders across your chest, competing with the cold kiri was dragging across yor skin.

"Slow down kiri, i can't be the only one getting attenton" you giggled, so innocent sounding for such a sinful situation. You grinded against him making him groan, the obvious tent in his shorts getting more obvious "is that your quirk at play or are you just happy to see me?" You teased, he rolled his eyes as if he's heard that joke a hundred times before and looks down at you. There's no innocence left in his eyes, they burn with desire and lust while he watches you unbuckle his leather belt and unbutton his constraints.

"No underwear huh? And in shorts too? How brave" you tease when his cock springs out of his shorts, laying flat against his stomach. Your only thoughts are 'Big… Very Big!' Almost on instinct you reach out and wrap your hand around the base of his shaft making him moan out, "i haven't even done anything yet!" You shout, both your faces are bright red and hot, the tips of your ears are burning like someone was holding a lighter to them. Kiri's eyes were squeezed shut as tight as possible, his fists were balled and the bag of ice crunched every time he moved.

You moved your hand up and down slowly, watching his reddening face intensely. It looked like you were doing everything right, it definitely sounded like you were doing everything right from the tiny grunts escaping his mouth. You picked up your pace drawing a long moan from his throat, and you chuckled "Y-(y/n)" he groaned. Your name sounded so salacious coming from him right now, you weren't sure you could ever fill in another form without hearing kiri in the back of your mind and you wanted desperately to hear more like that.

You would ignore the heat bubbling in your stomach, your thighs rubbing together for friction, and your now soaked underwear until you could satisfy kiri. You stopped your hand movements eliciting an annoyed growl and you shuffled forward again and sat on your calfs between his thighs. "Kneel" you instructed and he did as he was told. "Y-you don't have to if you don't want to (y/n), we can stop any time just say the word and its done" he said. You grinned contemplating how in the space of an afternoon you went from friends stuck in a freezer to, in a relationship while fucking in the freezer, either way you were glad to have someone so caring now.

"I know" you grinned. You reached behind him and grabbed an ice cube popping it in your mouth and in an instant it was just cold water sitting on your tongue "just like a popsicle right?" You laughed nervously while kiri laughed genuinely. How in the hell did he find that remotely funny.

You scooted closer wrapping your hand around the base and wrapped your lips around the head. he let out a high pitched moan, one you would never expect from him and you looked up at him through your eyelashes. His nails were scratching at the silver 'walls' of the freezer and his eyes rolled back the red on his cheeks, impossibility dark and his mouth hung open. "C-cold" he said barely above a whisper.

You bobbed your head up and down using your hand to get what you couldn't fit. Nothing like a popsicle. “Holy shit” he whispered and without thinking gripped your hair pushing you further down his cock without thinking, making you choke and gag. Your waterline filled with tears a few running down your face leaving red trails “s-sorry” he grunted, you hummed accepting his apology the vibrations driving him crazy.

You drew your head back watching his face for miniscule reactions, his nose twitching, his lip quivering, his hands tugging your hair and knotting it. You hollow your cheeks as you went taking as much as possible in his mouth when his member twitched, you looked up through your eyelashes "it hasn't even been that long" you said, though it was muffled but he could clearly hear what you were saying "shouldn't you be glad, your the one doing it" he rubbed his hands over the purple map of where he'd been and trailed his hands down squeezing your breast and rolling his thumb over your hard nipple. You couldn't argue with his logic so you used your mouth for other purposes setting out an unrelenting pace. He grunted and whispered curses and praises that bounced around the freezer then into your ears.

"S-shit (y/n) i'm gonna c-cum" he said, his tone sounded almost embarrassed making you chuckle. You pushed your head forward. You were all the way down when he twitched again, this time cumming into your mouth almost making you choke. You pulled off swallowing what you hadn't and looked up at him with half-lidded eyes and swollen pink lips. you were both panting heavily and suddenly you were being pushed down against the floor of the freezer with your knees bent so you could fit.

”aw getting impatient are you” you teased, he growled and pushed another ice cube in your mouth, his substitute for a gag even though it would melt in no time but you took it as a sign to shut up. He pulled his wallet from his pocket and fumbled through pulling out a condom and ripping it open with his teeth then rolled it on.

”you want to do this right?” he asked, the harsh intensity behind his eyes replaced by softness and his hand rested gently on your cheek where you nuzzled into it ”yes. I want this” you assured him.

Kiri had never cared for foreplay, it was the part he always skipped when watching porn, if he for some reason was reading fanfiction he would skim over it and go to the good stuff, and now in this situation, you were both far too desperate for him to even think about it. He knew you weren't a virgin, everyone knew you weren't, you wore it like a victory badge (some people do. Don't judge) and though he was upset it wasn't him he could never judge you. but God was he about to make you forget anyone else was your first, he would make you feel so good you would never say their name again.

He sucked on your neck adding to the gallery of hickeys trailing his hands down your stomach and pulling your shorts off. "You ready?" He asked and you nodded pointing to the bag of ice cubes. The cold made your heart race and the more you had the slower they melted. He raised his eyebrows, he hadn't expected you to like the ice as much as you had and he was really enjoying it.

He dragged the bag over propping it up in the corner and put an ice cube in his mouth, you glared about to get one yourself but the firm "no" from him was enough to make you retract your hand and pray. His icy cold hands held your hips in place and he leaned down kissing you again with his freezing lips drawing a moan from you. "You make such pretty noises (y/n), you should do it more often" he mumbled biting your bottom lip gently.

You whined desperately and he smirked "okay okay" he lined up with your entrance and pushed in. Your eyes rolled back and you bit back a moan. "Holy fuck" kiri grunted staying in one place "are you okay?" He asked. You nodded rapidly and reached up gripping his shoulder hard. He pulled out and slammed his hips back into you "A-AH KIRI!" You cried digging your nails into his shoulder "you're so gorgeous" he gushed. What a moment to be all sappy.

He thrust at a relentless pace drawing a moan from you with every movement, You were convinced If you put this on pornhub you would make bank. "Kiri please" you whimpered stretching your arm to the bag of ice that was centimetres out of reach "fine, since you've been so good" he praised and pressed an ice cube against your tongue while his other hand trailed another down your stomach where it melted and dripped off your sides pooling around you.

"Kiri god im so close please" you begged bucking your hips to meet his. Every time you said his name he went a little more feral and you had officially broke him. He pounded into you at inhuman speed gripping your hips so hard they would definitely bruise and the heat pooling in your stomach reached boiling point. "KIRI!" You screamed arching your back as your orgasm washed over you. Your mouth hung open in a silent scream while he thrusted a few more times until he came too.

You huffed propping yourself up on your elbows and he pulled out. "That was incredible" you panted. You were a shivering mess, your quirk no longer able to heat you up but there was no way you were walking for hours. "Fuck yeah it was" he grinned switching immediately back to his cheery self "sorry i went to hard didn't I" he kissed the top of your head helping you put your shorts back on which was a very hard task for such a cramped space. "No it was amazing" you grinned trying to pick yourself up but to no avail. "Im really tired now though" you giggled. He nodded picking you up like a gentleman and climbed out of the freezer with ease.

He carried you to your room and swaddled you in blankets to get the heat flowing through you again and snuggled next to you. "Is it to early to say I love you?" He asked "depends, how long have you loved me For?" "Since first year" he admit "then i'd say no" you nuzzled into him feeling your eyes get heavy and fighting to keep them open "then i love you" he wrapped his arms around you protectively even though there was nothing to protect you from "i love you too eijiro."

And into a peaceful sleep you sank yet your dreams were far from it

#my hero academia #bnha #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #boku no hero academia #wattpad #mha #boku no hero fanfic #kirishima eijirou x reader #eijiro kirishima x reader #kirishima smut #kirishima x reader #eijirou kirishima #bnha kirishima #mha kirishima #eijirou x reader #eijiro kirishima smut #kirishima eijiro x reader #bnha eijiro x reader

111 notes · View notes

herroyalbubbliness · 2 years

Text

Parallels

Photo Credit: reddit

This is by no means a comparison. Just parallels of two of my favorite characters that I love and am absolutely obsessed with portrayed by phenomenal and brilliant actresses, Anya Chalotra as Yennefer and Jodie Comer as Villanelle. These two phenomenally powerful, complex characters make me feel like I can do absolutely anything.

Photo Credit: Google Images

So feral and animalistic

Yennefer: She circles Geralt like a predator waiting for the right moment to pounce on its prey.

Are all witchers similarly blessed?

Villanelle: Leans in close to sniff her own perfume on Eve's neck with the tip of a knife firmly aimed at the edge of Eve's sternum.

You have a very nice body.

Haha! Funny coincidence, they both met their love interests under very mysterious and interesting circumstances in episode 5 of the first season of the shows.

Dominant and in control

Yennefer: I believe I sized you up quite right.

Which was after one meeting and dressed Geralt because she can. Tells him, scratch that, orders him to bathe and wear the clothes. Draws a bath for him while looking at the fine specimen in front of her but doesn't extend the same courtesy to him, again, because she can.

Villanelle: Sorry baby

Knows exactly the belt Eve needed to complete her look just watching her from a glance in the boutique, sneaks in the belt to her dressing room, and is gone without Eve seeing her. Steals her suitcase throws out her not so fashionably good clothes and replaces them with some really gorgeous, expensive clothes and a gown in particular that is exactly Eve's perfect size hugging her body in all the right places.

Unapologetically powerful

Yennefer: I want to be powerful. It's what I'm owed.

When you have power like this, never apologise

Villanelle: I know, I'm amazing.

I'm expensive. Will you give me everything?

Scent

Yennefer: Lilac and gooseberries. Tough to get in your head. You have a strong will but you can't contend with me. Sorry I couldn't be direct. I knew you'll fight it. But I do love a good old-fashioned trap.

Villanelle: I want to smell powerful. I want to make people gag with it. I want to smell like a Roman centurion who is coming across an old foe that once hurt him greatly. Oh since then that Roman centurion has become an emperor and is now powerful beyond measure.

Know what they want and go for it

Confident

Masks, facade, underneath it all, vulnerable

Yennefer: You're born helpless so you find strength. Then that's all they want you for, to use you. And you find love, but it isn't real. It's... it's a wish someone made once, before they even knew who you were. And you... you find power, and it turns to ash in your hands!

I dreamed of becoming important to someone. Someday.

Villanelle: Most of the time, most days, I feel nothing. I don’t feel anything. It’s so boring. I wake up and I think, “Again? Really? I have to do this again?” And what I really don’t understand is, how come everybody else isn’t screaming with boredom too? I try to find ways of making myself feel something, more and more and more but it doesn’t make any difference. No matter what I do, I don’t feel anything. I hurt myself, it doesn’t hurt. I buy what I want, I don’t want it. I do what I like, I don’t like it. I’m just so bored.

I feel things when I'm with you.

They don't have to carry weapons. They are the weapons!!!

They are feminine in all their glory, wearing gorgeous clothes and killing in them literally.

Fierce

Above all, they are survivors

#yennefer #yennefer of vengerberg #villanelle #oksana astankova #the witcher #bbc killing eve #killing eve #parallels #anya chalotra #jodie comer #i love them sooooo much

12 notes · View notes

ms-demeanor · 4 years

Text

You know what’s funny is whenever I make a tech post I get people going “this is blatantly untrue” and I get people going “this is really good information and everyone needs to know it” and the dividing line is how much time you spend with people who are tech literate.

Yep, I would tell my computer savvy friends where they could get keycaps and fix their keyboards; I don’t even have to bother telling my computer savvy friends how to run a fifteen year old laptop because we’re all pretty good at it.

But GODDAMN I just read a response to my “cheap computer season” post that claimed that it was totally reasonable to run a macbook from 2010 and

Look.

That’s not a reasonable thing to tell a student who needs a functional computer to do research and write papers. (have fun trying to find installation discs from when the OS was still named after cats and have fun trying to get a browser to get along with that OS)

You know why most people bring me laptops with missing keys? Because the key got ripped off by their two-year-old and damaged the soldering in the keyboard and I have no idea it’s going to be “oh, yeah, that’s a ten dollar fix” or “sorry, that’s going to be an hour and a half to disassemble and reassemble and we’ll have to order you a new keyboard specific to that model out of new old stock” and the thing is the second one is much, much, much more common in my experience than the first.

Do I think you need to replace a laptop when the bezel is cracked? No. I also don’t carry my laptop powered on in the bag with a flashdrive sticking out of the USB port. Customers do weird things that I don’t understand and when a customer tells me they want me to fix the bezel they think it’s a twenty-dollar snap-on repair because they have no idea how this works and then they get mad at me when I explain “no, you’ve gotta have this specific piece of plastic, these haven’t been made in five years, and you might be better off buying a used model online than trying to track down a new bezel.”

So here’s the thing: Can Macs get viruses?

There are three answers here.

“No, of course not, Macs are made to be virus-proof”

“Macs need antivirus protection because, while it is less common than infections for PCs, there are types of malware that can infect macs and it’s worthwhile to guard against that”

“tEcHnIcAlLy a virus has to be self-replicating and IOS’s file management system [or some other bullshit] prevents that so TECHNICALLY Macs can’t get viruses and what you need is anti-malware software if you need anything because you’re fairly likely to have security through obscurity”

I’m aware of the third position and voicing the second position to people who believe the first position.

YES TECHNICALLY YOU CAN KEEP A COMPUTER RUNNING INDEFINITELY AND YES IT’S TOTALLY POSSIBLE YOUR LAPTOP WILL LAST TEN YEARS.

“Well if you treat it right and run it well it’ll be in great shape for a long time”

YES THAT IS CORRECT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK ON THEIR OWN CARS DRIVE AROUND WITH THE OIL CHANGE LIGHT ON FOR MONTHS?!?

Tons of people in the world today use computers. They use computers every day, they use computers at home and at school and at work.

Tons of people drive every day. They use cars for fun and for commuting and for their jobs.

That doesn’t mean that all (or even most, or even half) of the people using these things is any good at keeping them running, or even has the barest idea of how to start tracking down a problem.

Someone in the notes of that post described a green line on their screen and thought that was a symptom of hard drive problems. I don’t have the hours in the day to catch this person up to speed on why a display issue on a laptop isn’t indicative of hard drive issues.

Do you know how much people think it’s going to cost to get data off of a broken drive? Not “won’t power up” not “won’t spin” but “I dropped this and part fell off and now it won’t power up or spin and also the platter is chipped”? I’m going to have to send that shit to a clean room and the customer is *staggered* that it might cost more than a hundred dollars to get their data. “Outrageous, what kind of blackmail operation are you trying to run here, just plug it in and get my pictures.”

A year or so ago I was at Jiffy Lube (ew). I’d been shooting the shit with the mechanic when a parent and child rolled in in a panic. And they should have been panicking! They’d thrown a fucking rod because they’d been driving with no oil in the car for god knows how long because neither of them had had the oil changed in the two years they’d owned the vehicle.

*I* can keep a 30-year-old car running. I can put a belt back on an engine in a dark parking lot with a wrench and a headlamp. I can drop a gas tank and replace my fuel filter and thumb my nose at the mechanics who tried to upsell me on “replacing your old, worn-out air filter” the day after I’d popped a new one into my truck.

These folks couldn’t keep a new car running with three alarms telling them what was wrong.

*I* can power up my 2005 macbook running Leopard and use garage band to record a song or do some design work on my copy of Adobe CS3; I can kludge its FF3.5 browser into playing nice with the internet and accept that it’s going to be a slow piece of shit.

The lady who called me confused by the fact that the password to her email was different than the login information for her grocery store rewards account will not be able to function if she gets a pop-up that says she’s using an outdated browser and will think it’s a virus if her bank won’t let her log in on that browser.

And you know what, I’m kind of sick of this attitude.

I would *fucking adore it* if computers were actually easy to repair; I’d love it if you could run new OSs on old hardware (especially on macs because I think apple are kind of shitheads about planned obsolescence).

But you know what, no, most people *CAN’T* reasonably expect to use a ten-year-old computer and have pleasant experience of it. It’s going to run slow. It’s going to shut down when they don’t want it to. The battery is going to swell slightly with the heat and your touchpad is going to go nuts. Your USB ports will stop working. Standard wear and tear that most people don’t know how to protect against and don’t know how to repair is going to make it harder to use AND software requirements will outstrip the hardware capabilities of the computer.

If your old computer sucks it’s not your fault. If you can’t happily use a 10-year-old laptop to do your homework that’s okay, it wasn’t designed for you to use it that way and YOU SHOULDN’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.

Because that’s kind of what a lot of these “well anybody should realistically be able to run a laptop from 2010″ responses comes down to: if you need new hardware you’re just not doing it right. If you have to replace your computer you didn’t make good choices when you bought it. If your battery dies it’s because you didn’t take care of it.

No. No. No. No.

This shit is A) designed to fail and B) actually really hard to keep running (hey how many blown capacitors do you think someone has to have on their motherboard before you say it’s not their fault for wanting to replace the laptop)

ALSO SOMEONE IN THE RESPONSES OF THAT POST LITERALLY SAID THAT IF YOUR BATTERY DIED AT THREE YEARS IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T DOING THE DRAIN CHARGE CYCLE RIGHT AND FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. It’s discharge cycles and heat, motherfucker; they are going to fail at some point and people shouldn’t feel bad if their batteries stop working after a couple years.

UGH.

You shouldn’t have to be a mechanic. You shouldn’t have to be a computer technician. Yeah, your shit will last longer if you know how to take care of it but, fuck. Imagine you were still using internet speeds from 2010. Imagine all your devices still had USB 2.0. Imagine you couldn’t log onto your online bank because your hardware won’t run he software that your bank recognizes because the hardware manufacturer decided it won’t support the older hardware.

What I was trying to get across in that initial post was “computers fail, and they fail pretty frequently; your life will be better and you will save money if you plan on replacing them at a regular interval and have reasonable expectations in terms of cost and failure. So buy a cheap computer now because you’re probably going to need one at some point”

And now I’ve got to Do A Yell about how there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism and it’s unreasonable to expect tired, overworked, broke people to become experts in computer repair in order to do their homework or play the goose game.

FUCK THAT.

IT’S CHEAP COMPUTER SEASON MOTHERFUCKERS. LAPTOP FAILURE RATES INCREASE AT THREE TO FIVE YEARS AND DESKTOP FAILURE RATES INCREASE AT FIVE TO SEVEN YEARS. RIGHT NOW THERE ARE DISCOUNTS ON NEW COMPUTERS AND IT’S CHEAP TO GET AN EXTENDED WARRANTY.

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER AND WORK ON COMPUTERS IF YOU WANNA AND PLAN TO REPLACE REGULARLY IF YOU DON’T WANT TO WORK ON COMPUTERS.

ALSO CHANGE YOUR FUCKING OIL YOU’RE PROBABLY DUE.

9K notes · View notes