#look at him... I'm weak and feral for him at the same time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

decembermidnight · 7 months

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Ner Mircet'ad (My Slave)

Summary: The Mandalorian breaks into the Imperial safehouse where you're held captive and kidnaps you to use you as his slave... and you're not complaining. Kinktober 2023 special

Pairing: Din Djarin x f!reader

Word count: 4.6k

Warnings: no plot - just smut, 18+ mdni, CNC, kidnapping, handcuffs, use of gag, bondage, dom!Din, sub!reader, unprotected sex (p in v), oral (m receiving), tease and denial, edging (m and f), creampie, cumplay, degradation kink, Mando'a speaking kink, dirty talk, face slapping, glove kink

A/N: Happy Kinktober! Here's my contribution! This should have been a fantasy of the reader in another story but I got a little carried away and it became its own oneshot. I'm feral about how it turned out. See below for Mando'a translations. I hope you enjoy it!

Divider: @saradika-graphics

You only saw him a few hours before, when he entered the Imperial safehouse where you’re held captive, forced to work as a scientist at the facility.

You couldn’t take your eyes off him - tall, broad shoulders, mysterious, a dark and raspy voice that made you melt in an instant. You have heard he’s one of the best bounty hunters in the outer rim. He acted disdainful towards the Imperials, pointing his rifle at them as soon as he perceived a hint of menace.

You looked at him completely entranced the whole time, devouring him with your eyes. You noticed he tilted his helmet towards you more than once, and felt his hunter gaze scouting your figure as he barely paid attention to the Imperial officer talking to him.

When he left, you felt the urge to immediately go touch yourself.

You locked the lab door behind you and slipped your hand in your panties. You sighed when you reached your slit and felt you were drenched at the mere thought of him. You started circling your fingers around your swollen clit and rested your head against the steel door behind you. Your mouth let out a groan too loud and instinctively your free hand went covering it to muffle how much thinking about the Mandalorian warrior was getting you off.

You let your body slide down until you were kneeling on the floor with your legs spread open. You thought of how hot his masculine voice would sound moaning your name while you’d be on your knees sucking his cock. You circled your clit in a frenzy, trying to be as silent as possible, but the wet noises of your arousal were betraying you. You thought of his heavy, thick body on yours, of how hard he’d fuck you, of him panting in your ear. Those thoughts drove you over the edge and felt the hot spark of the orgasm setting you aflame. You squeezed your eyes shut and had to hold your breath as that hot wave of pleasure was traversing your whole body, reducing you to a weak, trembling mess collapsed on the lab floor.

The very same night he comes for you.

He breaks into the safehouse, exterminating everyone in it, mercilessly, using his huge rifle, and then he opens the door to your room and finds you there, laying in your bed, still half asleep, scared and disoriented by all the noise, dressed only in a light nightgown.

In a second he is on you, his heavy armoured body is preventing you from moving. You do not even attempt to resist him, you stay completely still and carefully observe every action he does.

He’s holding both of your wrists in the tight grip of one of his hands, as the other one rummages in his utility belt to take out handcuffs, which he immediately uses on you.

You feel a tingle of excitement as his fingers slowly loosen their grasp and start to lightly trail down your naked arm, until they reach your neckline, where they delicately pull the fabric of your dress down to free one of your breasts.

He admires your hardened nipple, tilting his helmet sideways as his middle finger gently brushes it, drawing circles around it. You sigh at the tender touch of the leather against your sensitive skin, and when he hears that sound, his inscrutable visor immediately jerks towards your face, to look at your aroused expression.

To your disappointment, his hand stops touching your nipple, goes back to his utility belt and takes out a piece of cloth with which he gags you - not because he needs to prevent you from screaming and pleading for your life, no. You immediately realise that he’s turned on by it - treating you like one of his preys, hunting you, kidnapping you, making you his. The thought of it gets you more and more aroused the more this unspoken, borderline wicked dynamic plays between the two of you.

He then picks you up from your bed and carries you on his shoulder like his trophy through the dark, desert streets of Nevarro, all the way back to his ship, where he lays your body down on the cold steel floor and fixes your handcuffed hands to the bottom rung of the ladder leading to the cockpit.

He kneels before you and rips your thin clothes off with his hands, rabid and longing, making you gasp in arousal at that vulgar display of strength, and looks at your naked body and at the marvellous way it responds to him, so eager at the thought of being owned by him.

When his hands start to touch your body and you feel the leather of his gloves against your skin, you let out a deep, muffled moan and pathetically try to follow his movements with your body, craving for more contact.

He indulges on your breasts, tender and soft, groping and squeezing them. His touch is unexpectedly delicate, and you carefully follow it with your eyes, seeing the way he makes you simmer as he takes all the time he wants to reduce you to a whimpering mess.

He plays with your nipples, feeling how hard they get with just the brush of his fingers circling them, making them hard and stiff.

Use me. Use me. Use me. You beg for him with your muffled voice and body language.

His hands then trail down to your soft belly and round hips. He caresses and squeezes your feminine curves, longing for the moment when he'll finally dig his fingers into them while using you for his pleasure.

You can’t help spreading your legs for him, letting him have a look at your glistening core, already so wet for him, warm and inviting. He lets out a low, guttural hum when he sees how yearning and desperate you are for his touch, knowing his painfully slow teasing is working wonders on you.

His fingers trail so close to your wet folds, and the whimpering noises you make are absolutely pathetic as he taunts you, softly brushing your inner thighs and outer lips without touching your most sensitive spot yet. Your breathing gets laboured as he gets close to your clit and barely brushes it, teasing you, making you stutter with a brief, imperceptible touch, only to proceed down your slit and slide two fingers inside of you, making you arch your back in pleasure, moaning as loud as you can as you clench around them.

"You like this, don't you?" he asks as he takes out his fingers, completely soaking wet. He seems so pleased as he admires the leather of his gloves glistening in your arousal.

"Go on. Taste yourself on my fingers." he ungags you as he pushes them inside your mouth.

You obediently suck his fingers, gently licking them with your tongue, tasting the salty of your arousal, the bitterness of the leather and the faint metallic taste left by his guns. You look at him with lustful eyes right in his visor as your tongue swirls around his fingers, letting him know with your gestures that you'd suck his cock any time he wants, that all you care for in the galaxy is just to give him pleasure.

He hums in satisfaction, thinking of the way your sweet mouth will welcome his cock, how far it'll go into your throat, and how badly he wants to cover your pretty face in cum.

He takes out his fingers from your mouth and gags you once again. After that, he stands up and goes to his well-stocked armoury, taking some ropes out and coming back kneeling between your legs. He spreads them even more open, to the limit, and enjoys the view of your achingly needy cunt, drawing a few circles on your clit with his thumb, driving you insane as he looks at you whimpering and rolling your hips towards him.

He starts by tying each of your legs to the same ladder where your hands are, so that it’s impossible for you to close them. After that, he patiently wraps a rope around each of them, tying your thigh and ankle together, immobilising you, so you’re always available, at his mercy, any time he wants, and the thought of that gets you even more aroused. You’re drenched by now, you feel your sleek coating your inner thigh and dripping on the floor below you. Maker, you've never been this wet in your life, ever.

He looks at your helpless body, trailing his gloved fingers on your inner thigh, making you feel leather against your skin once again, rejoicing in the fact that you can’t move, making you quiver with lust as he smirks under that damn helmet seeing that you are so wet for him. He sees the way you react to his body, to his dick, to his touch, and Stars, he is so turned on by that.

He unfastens his utility belt and unzips his pants to finally take out his big, thick cock. It's throbbing and veiny and its tip is deliciously red and glistening in precum. You mewl just looking at it, feeling your walls clench in anticipation.

He immediately starts sliding it painfully slowly between your folds and it’s fucking debilitating after all of that excruciating teasing. You arch your back while moaning hysterically, begging for more as your eyes uncontrollably cross as you try to keep your gaze on his tip teasing your aching cunt. He keeps rubbing, keeps rubbing it on your clit and you feel so close already, and right when your body starts shaking in preparation for the imminent orgasm, he stops, taking it away from you, and starts stroking himself at the sight of you - so desperate for his cock, getting off from your agony. He gropes the soft flesh of your thighs and keeps giving himself pleasure in front of you. You can barely hear him panting under the helmet and oh, damn, he sounds even hotter than you’d imagined. It's such a pleasurable torture to be forced to look at him without being able to do anything, to hear the wet sounds of him fucking his fist so close to you when you wish you were the one who makes him feel so good.

He gives one last squeeze to his cock, letting a drop of precum out, then he slides his tip inside of you, making you roll your head back, sighing at the feeling of having him inside of you, finally.

When he feels how welcoming and hot you are, he groans in pleasure. His raspy voice makes you clench around him. He feels how tight you get when your muscles clench, and he lets out a barely audible curse.

He takes it out and immediately slides it back in, just the tip, just to play with you, to tease you, to get you on the verge of your orgasm and who knows, maybe he won't give it to you. You're at his mercy, you have to accept anything he's willing to give you. Will he make you come? Will he fuck your pussy, or will he just tease you like that indefinitely, leaving you crying and begging for him, as he gets off in your frustration, covering your body in his cum?

He goes on tormenting you like that for what feels like forever. A long, pleasurable torment where you desperately beg for him to put it back in everytime. Your whole body is shaking at the cruel game he's playing with you.

You wonder what he looks like. You bet he's handsome and he's smirking sadistically under that helmet, getting off from your desperation. His body exudes sexuality and confidence, his voice is deep and sensual - he is hot for sure.

He puts his tip in one more time, but now he's pushing all his shaft inside of you, and he's looking at your tearful eyes and how they widen in wonder when you feel him sliding slowly inside of you - deep, so deep, like you've never been fucked before, making you feel owned, marked, his property, his. He knows how good his cock is making you feel and that you'll never be fucked this good by anyone else in the galaxy.

He can't help sighing at how tight you are, and he sounds so hot when he does. You're so wet, the obscene sounds of him sliding in and out of you fill the hull of the ship. He's grabbing your legs, thrusting deep and slow, his head leaned back, completely sinking into the pleasure that is fucking you, controlling you, owning you.

When he picks up the pace, he starts cursing in a foreign language, gasping and groaning at the way your walls clench around his cock.

“Bid pel bal piryc par ni.” he growls in between sighs. He sounds even hotter when he speaks what you assume is his native language. There's something about the way that ancient language of warriors sounds that fits him and his husky voice so well. You don't understand a word, but you can tell by how pleased his voice sounds that he's praising you and the way you feel around him. You too are enjoying his cock so much. Maker, the pleasure he is providing you with is one you’ve never felt before. You’re forced to take him in any way he wants, completely subjugated by him and his desires, and it’s so perverse and thrilling that you’re already addicted to it.

You feel every ridge and vein of his cock as he thrusts into you, hitting your clit at just the perfect angle, building your pleasure gradually, until you feel on the edge - your breathing is getting laboured, your body starts to shake, you’re just there… but he takes it out and you feel like you’ve been robbed of air from your lungs.

You're so desperate, your whole body is shaking, your handcuffs rattle against the ladder behind you in protest and you let out cries. You must look pretty pathetic to him, who is enjoying the sight of your desperation and the sound of you whimpering by viciously stroking his cock in front of you, letting you see and hear how wet you've made it, his helmet is cold and won't betray any emotion. You can only arch your back and roll your hips begging for him to put his cock back into you.

When he's satisfied and has seen you beg for him enough, he slides it back in, the both of you moaning at the same time at the feeling. He immediately picks up his rhythm and grips your throat in his hand, forcing you to look at him while he’s choking you.

"Mircet'ad." he growls as he thrusts into you. "Ner mircet'ad" rasps again.

You look at him, not sure about what it means, but his voice is hot like lava against your skin as he speaks that foreign language.

"Yes, that's what you are. Do you know what it means? I want you to. It means slave. My slave. Ner mircet'ad. That's the only way I'll be calling you."

He made a point of what you are to him - nothing more than a sex slave that he will use when he comes back after his hunts, to let off steam after catching his quarries. Bounty hunting is tough, and you'll be his relief, something warm and giving always waiting for him with open arms and legs and that will make him feel so, so good any time he wants. His Mircet'ad. That word keeps echoing in your head and you drench yourself at that thought. He feels the way you're spasming around him and how aroused that made you.

"Do you like being called like that, little whore? You like being used?" he wraps his hands around your throat even tighter.

You nod as you look at him with needy, lustful eyes.

When he sees that, he goes crazy and just starts jackhammering you, digging his fingers in your hips as leverage, making you lose control over your mind and body, completely overwhelmed by the way he's fucking you brainless.

"What a fucking slut. Feel how wet you get when I call you my slave. Fuck, you’re such a whore. Wanted to fuck you so badly since I saw you. Do you think I didn't notice the way you were looking at me, whore? Made me walk out of there rock hard, thinking of the things I'd do to you. Gonna fucking wreck your pretty cunt. You feel so good, ner mircet’ad." his voice alone could make you come, and you both feel the way your pussy reacts to him, uncontrollable spasms of excitement that further add to the already overwhelming pleasure, hoping he maintains that promise.

He takes it out again when he feels you're on the edge. And again, your body begs for him. You know he's enjoying seeing his slave begging for him.

"Fuck. Killed so many people to fuck this little pussy. Let me enjoy it. Let me hear how much you want my cock." he pants as he looks at you.

Your back arches and you let out desperate moans as the hand wrapping your throat grips your jaw instead, blocking your face in that position, letting him look at your face.

"Beg for it like the needy slave that you are." he lowers the gag from your mouth.

"P-please, please put it back in. I want your dick inside of my pussy. Please, I need it." you let out in a pleading voice on the verge of tears.

"Hmm. Go on. What do you want me to do to you?"

"Anything you want. I am your whore. I'm here to please you. I want you to wreck me and fill me with your cum. I want to come on your dick so badly, so fucking badly, please! I want you to make me scream until I beg you to stop. I want to give it to you any time you want and hurt for days. I want you to use me, please! I want to be your slav-"

He slaps you in the face, stopping that flow of obscenities from coming out of your mouth.

"You are my slave." he snarls as he grips your jaw tighter, bringing your face so close to his helmet. You look at him right in his visor, so heavily aroused by the rough way he's handling you, asserting his dominance and ownership. You are his slave. His slave. The thought of it sends a thrill of arousal down your spine and turns you on so much.

"What a filthy little mouth you have. Let me use it before we're done." he growls as he takes a good look at you.

"Damn you're pretty. Wanna ruin this beautiful face. Look at these perfect lips. Can't wait to see them wrapped around my cock." he says while tracing your lips with his thumb.

He positions himself over you, with his dick right in front of your face and you can't help elongating your neck towards it, sticking out your tongue to lick the salty slick of your arousal from its shaft, making him grunt as he feels how hot and velvety your tongue is.

"Yes, yes, lick it. Feel how wet you've made it, ner mircet'ad." he slides his wet cock inside your mouth and you welcome it, brushing it with your tongue, tasting yourself on him, adoring it.

He gasps at the feeling and goes on sliding all of his length in. You take it in greedily, keeping your gaze on his visor. He pushes it in your throat without resistance on your side. The Mandalorian is amazed at the way you take his cock.

"What a greedy whore you are. You want it all, don't you?"

You moan at that, sending vibrations to his cock, making him throb and choke a sigh as his hand grips tight to the ladder.

He loses it completely at how obedient you are and starts thrusting into your throat, making you feel used like an object for his own pleasure - you can feel by the way he's panting that he's loving it… and you are, too. When he takes it out it’s completely drenched in your saliva, and he grabs you by the hair and looks at you.

"Ner mircet'ad, I knew your mouth would be perfect. You take my dick so good. All of it, deep in your throat. Good girl, you deserve to be fucked so hard." he praises you, then he positions himself once again kneeling in front of you, lifting the gag over your mouth.

He grabs his cock in his hand and slowly slides it back inside of your desperate, throbbing cunt, letting you feel every inch of him.

"Oh, fuck, you take it so good" he lets out in a low, pleased whisper.

He immediately starts to rail you once he's buried deep inside of you, making you uncontrollably moan and tremble.

"Bet you never had a cock this good. No one's ever fucked you like I am right now. Gonna give it to you anytime I want, and you'll be taking me like the fucking whore that you are, ner mircet'ad." he buries his cock deep inside of you and he stops, as he’s close to his own orgasm this time. He’s panting and shaking as he grips tight to the ladder with both of his hands, towering over you with his broad figure. You can see the outline of his biceps from under the thick layers of duraweave and Maker, it's such a delightful view. You roll your hips against his so as not to stop stimulation, moaning provocatively. It’s so good, you don’t want him to stop just now.

“S-stop it.” he grunts as you keep moving your hips, disobeying him, getting even more aroused by the way his voice sounds when he's restraining himself.

“Fuck. Greedy slave, you want all of my cum, don’t you? You want me to fill you up and drain me, to be my cum slut, huh? If you k-keep moving like this I’ll - I’ll - fuck” he lets his dick slip out of you with the very last inch of self control he has left. His whole body is trembling and he is panting as you beg for him with your muffled voice.

“Fuck, you’re a temptress. An insatiable slave. A fucking cocksucking, cum addicted whore. Stars above, if you want it so badly, I’m gonna give it to you. You make me want to fuck you so hard and fill you so deep. Damn, take it.” he puts it back in and starts to rail you at a debilitating rhythm, making you shake your legs out of lust and roll your eyes because of the pleasure.

"Shit. I'm so close" he grunts as you look at him with pleading eyes, making your handcuffed hands rattle on the ladder.

"Do you want me to make you come, mircet'ad?"

You frantically nod your head.

"Yeah - bet you did. I will make you come. If you ever make it out alive from my ship, I wouldn't want you to say that the Mandalorian didn't satisfy you. It would be bad, wouldn't it?"

You keep nodding your head, feeling your cunt throbbing with need and lust at the thought.

"Get ready, I know you're close."

The angle at which his cock is hitting your clit is sending you to heaven, just as the thought of him restraining from his own orgasm to give one to you first.

"Let me hear you. Let me hear how fucking good I'm making you come" he finally frees you from your gag and you can finally let him hear your desperate, loud moans.

A few more thrusts of his thick cock inside of you and you feel the devastating force of the orgasm blazing through your body, making you burst. Finally, after a never-ending edging torture, he lets you come. From the position you're forced in, with your legs completely spread open, the power of your orgasm seems even more shattering than ever, nothing like you've ever experienced before. You can feel your pussy uncontrollably spasming around his cock, making him grunt as you let out the hottest, headiest moans he's ever heard.

"Fuck. F-fuck. How can you feel so good?! M-maker you're tight. Fuck. Killing me. G-going to fill you. Fill you with my cum. N-now. My slave. F-fucking mine." he snarls and fills you with his hot load, his cock pumping it deep and hard inside of you as you groan loudly and sensually and won't stop looking at him. He tries to muffle his own moans by gritting his teeth, and Maker, he sounds even hotter when he gives up, letting those heady moans out, losing control, wholly abandoning himself to that overwhelming pleasure. He grips tight to the ladder with both of his hands, preventing his body from collapsing on yours, burying his cock deep inside of you as you both slowly come down from your high.

“I’m your slave.” you softly whisper in your post orgasmic haze, smiling.

"Ni gar mircet'ad" he teaches you. He trails his fingers on your mouth and you kiss them sweetly, looking at him in the visor.

“Ni gar mircet'ad, Mando” you repeat in a sweet, tender voice.

“Gar serim, ner mircet’ad. So fucking hot when you speak Mando’a to me.” he lightly wraps his hand your throat once again.

"You too." you reply.

"Oh, you like it when I speak Mando'a to you?" he lets his hand trail all over your body, making you sigh when it stops between your legs and starts rubbing your clit.

"Yes. So hot. You're so hot." you go on praising him in between moans as he picks up the rhythm of his fingers.

"'lek, ner aikiyc mircet'ad, k'olar tug'yc par ni bat ni cere. Come for me again on my fingers." the sound of his dark voice, sweetly whispering those words while touching your clit drives you wild and you can't help obeying his order, coming again after a few rubs of your clit, so unbelievably aroused by that. His visor is locked on you, on your eyes that uncontrollably cross and roll because of the pleasure, on your mouth letting out filthy sounds of pleasure, all while he keeps speaking his native language throughout your orgasm, encouraging you.

"'lek. 'lek. Jate, ner mircet'ad. Bid mesh'la. K'olar par ni."

After that second orgasm you feel completely debilitated and just collapse, exhausted but so, so satisfied.

When he slips out of you, he enjoys seeing your exposed cunt slowly leaking his cum out, wrecked and still spasming in aftershock. He uses his cock to gather all the seed that escaped from you and push it back inside of your hole. When he’s done, he looks at you in the face, his cock is still hard.

“Will you clean it for me, mircet'ad?” asks gently as you have already opened your mouth wide open for him.

“Good girl.” says as he slides his cock in your mouth. You taste both of your orgasms in your mouth and hum, sucking it avidly and licking it clean.

“Damn you’re perfect” says as he tucks his softening cock back into his pants.

"So hot when you come for me. Taking my cock like a hungry whore. I will keep you here on my ship. You'll be my slave. No one except for me will ever lay one finger on you. You belong to me now. You're my property.” he tells you as he frees you from the handcuffs and ropes. You swear you are so tired you could fall asleep right there, right now, but he picks you up in his arms and lays you down in a cot - his cot, you will learn later.

Translations:

I have used mandocreator.com as reference.

- Bid pel bal piryc par ni = So soft and wet for me

- Gar serim = Yes, that's right

- 'lek, ner aikiyc mircet'ad, k'olar tug'yc par ni bat ni cere = Yeah, my desperate slave, come for me again on my fingers

- 'lek. 'lek. Jate, ner mircet'ad. Bid mesh'la. K'olar par ni. = Yeah, yeah. Good, my slave. So beautiful. Come for me.

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vic-draws-sometimes · 1 year

Text

Sad wet cat

In which Soap takes care of his bf

Ghost hasn't slept in days. They're stuck on base, waiting for the signal to just go on a fucking important mission. They have at least one more week of waiting, and Ghost is actually going feral. He can't sleep, lest he thinks about the ongoing mission and everything that can go wrong, or worst, past missions gone wrong.

And everyone knows it, because he can't stand still. He barely eats his food, yells at anyone dumb enough to talk to him, and he keeps training. Exhausting himself on the bench, then on the treadmill, and when his muscles are trembling he goes to the shooting range and shoots until it's nighttime.

Obviously, Soap is one of the people that first noticed. He tries to spend time with Ghost, ease his mind, but nothing works. Alcohol just makes it worst. He's too worked up to get a boner to have sex. Sleeping is out of the question. He can't focus on a movie. So he just goes about his day and checks up on him once in a while, making sure he eats every day.

One day Soap doesn't see him for breakfast, not unusual, but still concerning. Maybe he finally went to sleep and just didn't wake up? But his room is empty. His office too, and Soap can actually see how much of a mess it is.

So he goes to the gym and sees him running. He decides to let him be. Except he doesn't see him at lunch either, and when he goes to the gym, he sees him on the same machine running like his life depends on it. That can't be good, but maybe he took a break while Johnny was out?

It's only when he comes back in the evening and Ghost is still there, running, that Soap decide enough is enough.

''Ghost'' Soap walks up to him, no answer. Ghost barely acknowledge his presence.

''Ghost!'' Once again, he's ignored.

''Simon!'' the man finally flinches and when he sees Johnny finally stops the machine.

''Don't call me that.'' his voice his rough, out of breathe. But he's still breathing quietly, which is eerie.

''It's your name.'' at that, Ghost shakes his head.

''Simon has been dead for years.'' Johnny can't help but roll his eyes. That bit again... He understands that Ghost is disassociating, but he sounds straight out of a movie.

''You look quite alive to me.'' he says, deadpan and folding his arms. Unsurprisingly, Ghost snaps at him.

''Don't play dumb with me!'' he steps off the machine and Soap steps back, ready for a tackle. But Ghost's legs tremble under his weight. He seems genuinely surprised by that.

''Oh, you're a little weak in the knees? '' Johnny says with a fake baby voice. This only flames Ghost's anger. He tries to grab Soap but he steps out of his range easily.

''You're a bit sloppy too. '' It's almost pitiful to see Ghost, usually so feared, try to attack Soap while he's just standing there. Good thing it's late enough that no one is here. It goes on for a bit until Ghost is angered enough to actually attack him.

''There it is! Time for me to act like I'm actually scared!'' it earns him a disgruntled yell as he starts running, more like jogging to the exit.

They run through the base in a simili game of tag. In which Ghost is out to kill and Johnny is leading him to his own room, where he has the privilege of a personal shower.

''I know what you're doing Johnny and it's not gonna work'' Soap is opening the door to the small bathroom and while he's smiling, he's actually starting to get scared. They're in a small space and he can't really escape anymore.

Out of breathe, but still angry, Ghost corners him on the counter. He grabs his jaw without any kindness and lifts him up, or rather tries to. His arms a weak.

''You are out of line. I could get you discharged for this.'' Johnny is grabbing his arms and feels just how drenched they are from sweating so much.

''You love me too much for this'' he says, cheekily, then pushes Ghost into the shower. It was surprisingly easy. Before Ghost can get up he grabs the shower head and quickly sprays ice cold water on his lieutenant.

It earns him a scream, Ghost putting his arms up to try and shield himself. But Johnny easily shoves them out of the way and spays his head.

Finally, he hears a loud gasp.

''That's it, breathe through it.'' he says gently, still getting his CO nicely covered in cold water. He can finally hear his breathe, taking in all the oxygen he's been depriving himself of. Johnny turns off the shower and for a minute they sit in silence. Ghost doesn't seem to be calming down.

Soap decides then to take off Ghost's shirt, who weakly tries to fight it off. He's trying to tell him something between gasped breathes, but Johnny can't figure it out. When he's in his underwears, mask off, Johnny sprays him in water again. He could feel how hot his skin still was. So he makes sure to spray water in every crease, and pays special attention to his head. He himself is all wet, but he doesn't care.

After a minute he turns it off again, and Simon is finally back to reality. His breathing is back to normal and he seems to finally register his exhaustion.

''I'm sorry...'' Johnny feels a bit guilty when Simon apologizes to him, sitting on the floor of his miniscule shower, drenched to the bone.

''It's okay, you're here now. Let's get you dry. '' he helps him up and dries him with an old towel. He has to help him walk to his bed. He took off his clothes to sleep with him, but Simon stopped him.

''What is it, m'eudail?'' he holds his cheek and Simon leans against it.

''I don't want skin... Please... I don't want to feel my body. '' Oh poor kitten. Or that's what he would've said if he didn't have a death wish. Instead he just agreed and took out clothes for Simon and himself. He got into bed and only once they were all settled Simon tried to fight it.

''I don't want to sleep'' he said weakly, but Johnny held him firmly in his arms. He talks to him in a low voice, a hand in his hair, and against his wishes Simon fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

When he woke up, Johnny was still with him and he felt like absolute shit. His whole body hurt and he was pretty sure he couldn't move. But his mind was calmer than before, and for this day he let his Johnny pamper him. They went walking, watched a movie and spent time with their team.

#ghoap #ghostsoap #autistic simon ghost riley #im not a writer

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shmolish · 1 month

Text

AN: ARGAGRAGAFAGGSGAGAHA (Going feral for this man)

Espresso x Reader

Oneshot

Warnings: LOTS of kissing + tension, mild swearing, kinda enemies to lovers

-Hate me-

God, you hated everything about him. From how mouthy he was to how he always felt the need to be better than you! He was honestly just the worst.

And now he was right there infront of you. Look at him! One of the worst being to come into existence...

"Don't you know that staring is rude?" Espresso would ask from across the table.

"I am not staring," you snapped back.

"Well if it's not that then you must be gazing with admiration." Espresso let out a small chuckle before looking towards you once again.

The mere thought of it was absolutely repulsive. Why would you ever hold admiration for somebody like him?

I mean, he was so snarky, hardly took care of his health, always thought that he was the center of everything, researched way too much, was incredibly smart, always looked dashing, had eyes that could swoon anyone and- what were you thinking about again?

Right. Espresso is the worst!

"You know, I absolutely despise you," You'd say.

"Uh huh... And that's why you talk about me all of the time?"

"I'm complaining about you." You crossed your arms.

"Glad to know I'm always on your mind..." He'd roll a pen around on the table nonchalantly, not taking any of your words seriously.

"You're so irritating!"

"You're not any-"

"Would you two stop bickering like children and please take this outside? We are trying to have a productive meeting here." Latte Cookie seemed to be fed up with the both of you. So did the other professors.

Espresso sighed before reluctantly exiting the room with you.

"Look at what you did, ass-hole," you muttered under your breath.

"The only thing that got us kicked out was your own immaturity."

"You were acting just as bad. Don't start."

"Oh my God, would you please shut up already?"

"Make me."

Espresso would send you a nasty side eye before grabbing both of your wrists with one of his hands. He'd push you up against the nearest wall, placing a hand firmly at your side.

"Hey! What the h-"

Before you could continue any of your protests, Espresso's lips would meet with your own, and instantly, you'd melt into the kiss.

The kiss was desperate and messy, and for a long time neither of you dared to pull away.

"For someone who hates me, you're not resisting this very much," he would say in-between kisses.

"You have me pinned-"

He continued to kiss you needily.

"'Using hardly any strength. You could have easily gotten out if you wanted to." He leaned closer to your ear. "But you didn't. I wonder why that is~"

Though you couldn't see his face, you knew he was smiling. A heavy blush dusted your own face, and just out of petty, you'd move your hands a little.

Espresso's grasp immediately tightens. "Don't be like that. You've already shown me that you like this quite a lot."

He resumed kissing you, making you breathless and your knees grow weak. Everything about this felt so wrong yet so right at the same time. You needed more of this. You needed more of him.

Espresso would continue to kiss you, hungry for the taste of you. Your bottom lip had become swollen from all if the biting and kissing, and his grasp around your waist had gotten tighter.

At this point, you had not only stopped resisting him, but had fully embraced it.

If you had told yourself from a few days ago that Espresso would be choking you out with his tongue, and that you were enjoying it, they would have looked at you as if you'd grown two heads.

Then the doors to the meeting room flew open, exposing the both of you.

"Aha! I TOLD YOU THEY WOULD MAKE OUT. LATTE, YOU OWE ME TWENTY BUCKS!" Eclair would call out.

Latte just face palmed.

《☆》 Fin

#crk #cookie run kingdom #crk x reader #cookie run kingdom x reader #cookie run #espresso cookie x reader crk #espresso cookie x reader #espresso cookie #espresso #espresso crk #espresso crk oneshot #oneshot #crk oneshot #espresso cookie x reader oneshot #crk espresso cookie

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winkwonkwankwenk · 4 months

Note

hi! can I please request Gojo x reader where instead of Gojo getting boxed, it's the reader and gojo ends up witnessing it?

(just love it when men go feral for their partners lol hehe)

thank you so much, I hope you're doing well!

I LOVE GOJO!! Sorry this took so long, at first I thought you were asking for a Boxer AU Gojo 😭Anyways, now that I'm done with my FNAF fic I have more time to do these oneshots- Yay!

Word count: 1k

Pairing: Gojo x Fem!Reader

SFW/NSFW

“Satoru, you’re not going alone!” You follow him through the dense subway station. “Listen to me!”

“This isn’t up for debate, get out of the subway station-”

“No.”

You stand tall, hands curled into fists by your side. He always does this, throwing himself into danger without a second thought. You know he’s used to this life, used to dropping everything to go save thousands but for once you had hoped…he’d choose you. Things had been rough lately, mission after mission. The two of you had barely any time together so the moment you were told about Shibuya you decided to go- ignoring all the risks. Quite hypocritical, but you’re just a lovesick girl. What did he expect you to do? You had waited long enough to have a conversation about the two of you and what you were becoming. You didn’t want to be his secret forever, you couldn’t. You just wanted him to understand that.

“Can’t you just listen to me-”

“Run.” He pulls his hand from yours, “Run!”

Chaos. One moment everything was fine, the next Gojo had pushed you into a sprint. You aren’t sure why you’re running or where, your naivety always hindering your ability to use your technique.You want to use your technique but you can’t, your mind a scrambled mess as shadows appear around you. Curses- you’ve been able to see them since you were a girl but had only learned how to fight them recently. You can’t fight now, not like this. You keep running as people around you panic and do the same, cries and shrieks echoing in your ears as curse after curse appears. You manage to dodge a few, but then you run into a man dressed in fine robes. He throws something, and it hits you before you can blink.

You’re stuck.

You try to move but your limbs, your head- every muscle restricted by a cursed force. Kenjaku wears a large, toothy grin on his face as you glare at him. He casually creeps closer, arms crossed over his chest. He’s got you- but you aren’t who he’s after.

You’re just bait.

“Where’s loverboy?” His breath is hot against your face as he leans down, burning like the sun on a sweltering day. “Surely, he wouldn’t leave you here, all vulnerable and weak-”

“I’m not weak.” You sneer through gritted teeth, then you spit on his face, right in his eyes.

“You bitch!” He’s about to slap you, but his hand stops before it meets your cheek. His head tilts to the side, eyes narrowed. “Look who finally showed up.”

“Satoru…” You think it before you say it.

“Y/N…” He’s breathing hard, blood on his cheek and hair hiding those blue diamonds you adore.

He had told you to run ahead so you could escape, but instead he had put a target on your back. Why was he surprised- he knew there’d be a target no matter what he did.

After all, the two of you were…in love.

It was impossible to hide his feelings when he had fallen so deeply. He tried, he really did, he distanced himself but he crawled back every time. How could he leave you alone? No one understood him the way you did, no one treated him- touched him, the way you did. Every stolen glance in the corridors of Jujutsu high made his heart race and ache, because he knew how much is weighed on you, hiding and rushing through rendezvous. Every kiss had always been desperate, ravenous because he knew he wouldn’t taste you again for days, sometimes weeks at a time. He bared it, because he knew when all of this was over, the two of you would run away together- that was the plan.

Things weren’t going according to plan.

“Geto…?” No, that wasn’t him, that wasn’t his bestfriend, it couldn’t be. Gojo gulped away his surprise as Kenjaku closed the cursed object- trapping you inside. “No!”

The box hits the ground with a quiet thud! and he rushes to grab it, only for Kenjaku to kick it away right when he’s about to reach it. He twists his body, flipping it so he can land on his feet. Gojo needs to get that box away from Kenjaku, but his options are limited. There’s still too many civilians around despite most escaping when he finished slaying the demonic curses Kenjaku released. He’s forced out of his thoughts by a punch to his gut, skin skidding against the floor as he’s sent down it. He stumbles up, shaky breaths dripping from his lips along with blood from the tears on them.

“Let her go! She’s not who you want-”

“That’s what makes her perfect.” Kenjaku’s smug face only makes Gojo’s blood boil, but it simmers down when Kenjaku throws the box over. “I’m feeling generous, I’ll give you two thirty- no, ten seconds alone.”

“You-”

“Ten…Nine…”

Gojo picks up the box, looking for any way to free you but falling short. Tears prick his eyes and drag down his cut up skin, stinging it as the salt seeps into his pores. If he had listened you, taken a moment to focus on you, then maybe you wouldn’t be in this situation. If he had spent more time with you at Jujutsu High, then you never would’ve felt the need to join him for this mission. This is his fault, he was supposed to protect you, supposed to keep you safe- he didn’t.

“I failed you, Y/N.” Gojo says hoarsely, “I’m sorry.”

“Time’s up.”

Pain- it’s fleeting but enough for him to know where it’s from. Kenjaku’s behind him, hand held out and dripping red. Gojo’s body slumps down in front of the box, painting it with something he had tried to keep you away from: bloodshed. It sprays from his neck, Gojo’s head on the ground a few feet away from his body. His eyes are open but empty, a single tear falling before they close for the final time.

Like my writing? Check out my Ao3!!

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Fill my requests up!!😋

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meabh-mcinness · 1 year

Note

Hey-hey 👋

I'm absolutely in love with your writing for Narnia from M!IK!! Thank you so much for your work!

What do you think Narnia's courting human!reader will look like? Bonus points if it will be kinda rituals (since we know Naberius clan is connected with dogs 😉)

If you feel uncomfortable with that request you can ignore it, it's ok 👍

Hihi!! No, thank you so much for reading it! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I thought about waiting to start this till the big 'betrayal' of the Deviculum arc was revealed, but it'll be a two-week hiatus till the new crowns are revealed, much less that big boy of a thing. So here it is anyway!

This was written from the POV of an Iruma's parent reader, but if anyone also wants one of a non-Iruma associated reader, just let me know!

Narnia Courting a human!reader (spoilers for up to chapter 197 ahead!)

First, knowing what we know now about his feelings for humans, I honestly don't think he would have considered it in the beginning. This old dog would probably fight tooth and nail at first to deny it.

But once he admits to himself he likes you? You're in for a ride.

I'm thinking you first met at the Deviculum, having been invited as the daughter of Sullivan and as another 'guard' for Amaryllis, and he was disguised as Fenrir 'Fen-chan'.

At first, while he had set you on edge, you had simply thought him a funny little dude who had a thing for dog shaped hand gestures. And with a name like Fenrir it had been easy to write off the dog like qualities as wolf ones, probably descended and named after the Norse mythology wolf.

And so, despite your feeling, you had laughed at his jokes and little quips and thrown some back easily.

Until he scared your son.

Then all bets had been off.

You were no 13 crown head of lust, but you were a parent too. A parent who also had fangs and nails, as blunt as they may be in comparison, and was more than willing to throw down with a border patrol demon for your child.

Narnia hadn't been impressed with Iruma's quick submission, simply affirming what he thought of humans being too weak to be allowed in the Netherworld at all, much less in positions of power, but you?

You had done a complete 180 from how you acted before. The second he had leaned in to get closer to Iruma, you were suddenly there with all the rage and fire of any demon parent he had ever seen before.

Eyes that had been shinning prettily in awe of the ball were now narrowed in on him, lips pulled back in a snarl and tiny canines bared at him. Threats fired off without a second thought.

(His personal favourite was when you threatened to rip his tail off and shove it down his throat)

If he hadn't known better, he would have thought he was looking at a demon returned to origins with the feral look in your eyes.

And he was absolutely certain, that if Amaryllis hadn't stepped in and slapped him, shocking you out of that state of mind, you might actually have tried to lunge at him.

He fell in love at that moment.

Though he wouldn't realize it till later. Still reeling that a human had acted so much like a demon.

So he starts looking into you more carefully once the whole Deviculum thing is over.

Approaches you as Narnia, rather than Fenrir, so that he can get the full picture of who you are, without the negative feelings of the Deviculum in the way.

You had known it was the same person anyway from his mannerisms, the dog hand symbol he occasionally made, even in Narnia mode, was hard to forget.

The more he got to know you, though, the more he was he fell and eventually conceded that yes, humans weren't so weak, and also yes he wanted this particular human.

And once he did, he would waste no time trying to initiate a courtship.

I fully believe that demons follow courtship rituals that start with offerings.

Something meant to entice and say 'hey I'm an option, look at me' and if accepted, delve into gifts on why they would be such a good choice and spend time together.

In ancient times, this was usually a kill of some sort to prove they can provide. Nowadays, in modern times, that was far less likely and was generally more tailored to the couple in particular.

His first gift is actually an apology for the way he acted and a promise to protect both you and Iruma from any future harm.

His second gift, given right after you accepted his apology, was a circular hair brooch with two sticks chained to it, made from a material that looked most closely to rainbow obsidian.

The brooch part had an intricate design that looked quite close to Kalego's seal only with different characters, that likely spelled Narnia's name instead.

The two hair sticks had wolf heads attached where the chains met the stick. All in all it was a gift to say that you were claimed by him and therefore an attack on you was an attack on him. A rather forward gift, usually given later on in courtships, but that he felt was right. (And since you’re human, you can use it to call him when needed)

He gives plenty of other gifts too over the courtship period, from other pieces of jewellery (he custom ordered earpieces that covered the roundness of yours to give the illusion of pointed ones), to clothes in both Naberius and your favourite colours, to treats, to books, and your plenty of items to do with your favourite hobbies.

It’s canon that he has an exceptionally good nose, even among demons, and being a dog demon I firmly believe he absolutely loves and adores your scent.

So don't expect any perfumes or cologne from him.

Unless it's made from his scent, like Sullivan's pheromone perfume, so that he can indulge in inhaling the beautiful mixture your two scents combined would make.

(I personally think he smells something along the lines of a rose but darker and more dangerous, if that makes sense, and also smelling of sandalwood, parchment, and ink. Take that as you will.)

He's big on scenting you the natural way, too. Nuzzles and cuddles galore, especially when he's been away for a while.

Running his nose, and rubbing his face into your neck, was a common occurrence once you had given the go ahead.

Being in the Border Patrol and as a 13 Crown, he doesn't have a lot of spare time, so texts or letters are probably a common thing as well. Especially when he's been sent on a spy job.

While Kalego is the silent acts of service, gift giving and quiet quality time type, Narnia is much more into physical touches, quality time and words of affirmation type.

In other words, he will always be touching you and wanting praises. I wasn’t kidding about the nuzzles and cuddles galore.

With how strict the Naberius household is, I don’t think they’d be too big on touching, and doing well isn’t praiseworthy but expected. Not exactly the healthiest of households to grow up in,

Plus, I'm betting that he had to raise Kalego while also doing his schooling and training, since it doesn't look like there was a mom in the picture, their uncle is canonically lazy, and their dad was probably working like 24/7, and when he wasn't, he was training them. Bloody hell no wonder he snapped

So he craves the touch of another a lot, much like Shichirou.

I genuinely think that if the Naberius house had given them even a bit more freedom, he'd probably be somewhere in between how Clara and Shichirou acts. Not quite as in your face as Clara is, but a little more energy than Shichirou has.

But because he is trained so well in the Naberius way, he probably won't do much more than hand holding or hand on your back for PDA.

Alone, however, he's all over you. Using you as a headrest when you're cooking, head in your lap while you read, wrapped around you while you sleep, playing with your hair, letting you play with his hair

By the gods, his hair

His hair is the epitome of silkiness (minus the horn-like cow-licks, which are surprising hard yet still feel like hair. Just like over gelled hair feels, probably)

While you're courting, he will let you do whatever you want with it because he loves the feeling of your fingers carving paths through the strands, nails scratching his scalp pleasingly. It's one of his favourite things to just sit between your legs, while looking over case files, or reading, or even just laying there and just let you do your thing, whether it's a simple braid or an elaborate design.

He usually falls asleep to this, by the way.

Speaking of case files, he'll occasionally ask you for your thoughts on them.

This got so long, I had to create a new text box, oh gods. Did you know there's a 4096-character limit per text box? Because I just learned that, and now you did too!

Having your literal out of this world thinking has solved far more things than he would like to admit, but he's also so damn proud? Because yes, that's his partner solving these cases that no one else had been able too. (He constantly gets in trouble with Henry for sharing confidential info. He does not care and continues to do it.)

I also headcannon that Narnia can sing and dance will often do so for you.

Can hold long notes like a wolf howls, so very long.

Will just randomly pull you into his arms, humming a tune, and dance with you.

Also, while you're courting, he will be both surprisingly helpful and absolutely useless with Iruma. He's already raised Kalego, so he thinks he can raise a human teen too.

He's dead wrong.

So, so wrong.

But he tries, and it leads to a lot of funny moments.

(Kalego is horrified that his most troublesome student and co-worker has a very real potential of being a part of his family, but also secretly pleased)

Listen, Narnia's also pretty much confirmed as returned to origins, or at least heavily implied. The only reason he is drifting back to your side is because Baal's group would 100% hunt you for sport, along with other things.

Obviously, he can not have this. So Baal's group has to go. However, that means that all those instincts he's been letting lose? They have to be channelled somewhere, and they are. On you.

He will definitely have some yandere tendencies, is what I'm saying.

Gotta know where you are and who you're with. Needs to know your schedule by heart, and any deviancies will give him a heart attack.

Literally hates the fact that you're always surrounded by others, and he almost never gets alone time. But is also happy and proud that you're so needed and an integral part of so many demon's lives.

Tries to get you on your own so much, but you literally have the entire staff of Babyls, the misfit class, several crowns, and the three greats wanting your attention. Oh, and one deity because of course Toto wants to know all the stories and knowledge you have from the human world too, not just Iruma's.

Has thought about just straight kidnapping you and Iruma (because you wouldn't be happy without him, and he may or may not have grown attached to the little blue bean) on several occasions, but almost every single one of these beings is high ranked and 100% would hunt him down for you because of course they are.

Also thought about trying to convince you to join Border Patrol so that you could go on cases together, therefore able to keep an eye on you and spend more time together. But you enjoyed working at Babyls, and there's no way Henry would allow a human to join.

So he takes what he can get, but will pout and occasionally honest to gods whimpers when you have to separate.

He takes this out on captured prisoners. They thought he was bad before, now he's got feelings, and they're going to understand real quick what real no mercy feels like.

May or may not have tried to convince you to return to origins with him at one point, but a quick whack with the school's newspaper said what you thought of that.

In conclusion, he is a feral dog who is only tame for you.

I have more I could shove in this, but it's already so long and so all over the place ಥ ͜ʖಥ

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wonusite · 1 year

Note

i'm a total whore and weak for somnophilia, so all i'm imagining is somnophilia w/ minwon. like, imagine them coming home from a long day, eager to see you. and they're greeted by the site of you fast asleep, whimpering and humping your pillow. maybe add in you wearing mingyu's sweatshirt and a pair of wonwoo's boxers and they go absolutely FERAL.

this is actually so hot and i wrote way more than I originally intended but idcidcidc

ok so i can easily picture them super tired and worn out from the day they’ve had, but the thought of seeing you when they get home gives them a burst of energy. ofc it’s so late that you’re already asleep when they do get home. still, the sight they find is just as good. the sweatshirt that is large even on gyu’s big frame is riding up and exposing your skin while wonu’s boxers are deliciously clinging on to your wet cunt. their dicks immediately get hard when they see you moaning and whimpering in your sleep, unconsciously grinding on ur pillow.

“so pretty.” gyu groans, quickly undressing himself to join you in bed.

“the prettiest.” wonu agrees, doing the same.

your bfs quickly crowd you, wonwoo behind you while mingyu gets in front. they’re careful not to wake you before they do anything bc they know how much u love to wake up w their tongues or cocks inside you.

ofc gyu is a bit eager, thinking it’s so cute and hot that you’re moaning for them in your no-doubt wet dreams. wonu gives him a warning look, and all gyu does is pout but complies. gently, wonwoo replaces the pillow with his hand a low growl building in his throat as he starts to rub you through his boxers. meanwhile, gyu starts to spread your thighs, knowing exactly what wonu wants to do.

they both pull off the boxers, exposing your hot, wet cunt to the air. mingyu moans, cock leaking with precum at the thought of being inside you and tasting you. but he has to be patient he knows. so he waits until wonwoo is easing his thick cock inside you, loving the sight of your tight little pussy stretching around the veiny organ. he’ll never understand how wonu doesn’t moan loudly like he always does, but then that would surely wake you up and ruin the treat they want to give you.

wonwoo slowly starts to thrust, hands sliding under mingyu’s sweatshirt to play with your tits. “what are you waiting for gyu? don’t you want a taste?”

he doesn’t need to be told twice, eagerly diving in to latch his mouth on your quivering cunt. mingyu groans lowly at the taste, messily licking you all over as well as wonu’s cock as he fucks it into you. a carnal squelching noise fills the room, and now both of your boys are just waiting for you to wake up.

your moans and whimpers grow louder the more they stimulate your soaking pussy. gyu looks up to see your eyelids twitching. he smirks into your cunt and pushes your legs open further as he keeps suckling on your quivering clit.

wonu notices you’re starting to stir and starts to fuck you a little harder, barely containing himself at the feeling of your tight cunt and mingyu’s tongue on him. he pinches your nipples and tugs on them, wanting so badly for you to wake up.

which you do. you’re gently pulled out of your sleep by an intense pleasure. your bleary eyes scan the room in an unfocused way, only to settle on the head of messy locks between your legs. blinking into reality, you realize warm hands are toying with your tits at the same time you feel a familiar cock stretching your open.

“nu. gyu.” you moan quietly, immediately grabbing the attention of your two bfs.

“hey, pretty.” wonu moans in your ear, still fucking your little pussy open.

“what were you dreaming about, princess?” gyu asks immediately, gently kissing your aching cunt. “us?”

you mewl softly, still delirious from your sleep and the mind-numbing pleasure the two gorgeous men you call yours are giving you. “always.”

“did you miss us, baby?”

you nod, turning to give wonwoo a heated kiss. his thrusts start to get rougher, but the ache is soothed by mingyu’s tongue. and although you love the sensation, you want something else.

“gyu.” you moan. “want a kiss.”

your large puppy bf doesn’t hesitate to give you exactly what you want. he moves from between your legs to shove his tongue in your mouth, letting you taste yourself. you moan into his mouth, tugging him closer to you.

as you pull away, you can’t help but feel proud at the dazed look on his face. slowly, you trail your hands down his muscular body until you have your hand wrapped around his aching cock. you pump it a few times, looking at mingyu through your eyelashes.

“want your cock, too.”

you hear both men groan, knowing that the night is only just getting started.

#(s)creaming #this was everything #ngl vv tempted to write a full minwon fic #so many ideas are going thru my mind rn #nonny #nalani.thotz

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adora-but-ginger · 1 year

Text

scrawled in sand

pairing: joel miller x gender neutral!reader

summary: a fight leads to a mistake that may be costly, and Joel might lose someone, again.

word count: 4.5k(ish)

warnings: typical tlou violence and the warnings that come with those, nothing in detail but some sexual thoughts so 18+, weapons/knives, mentions of the loss of children, joel is kind of being an asshole at some points, angst, fluff at the end though, reader is like a feral cat joining a group of feral cats, swearing, hallucinations kind of, spoilers for episodes eight and nine, talking of death, no y/n used, umm i think that's it

masterlist

a/n: please don't ask me what this is, i don't have an answer. i chugged it out on a whim yesterday and make some edits today to fit the story better, and i'm currently trying to fill the hole that the end of the show has left so here this is! pedro as joel truly makes my brain go brrr, this series is fr consuming my life oh my god. thank you for reading! <3

one more thing! don't repost my stories, because only those who don't cover their cough or sneeze do that, and frankly that's embarrasing.

enjoy!-ella

credit to gif owner!

Joel,

The letter started, and he felt the all too familiar feeling of guilt pool in his gut. The argument from earlier that morning back had ran through his head on repeat since you left him standing alone in the middle of the street, with nothing but the horses in the near distance remaining as his company.

He didn't know why he said what he did, or at least he didn't want to admit it. The ghosts of his past had been haunting his every waking moment the closer he got to you, after Ellie had asked you to come with them in Kansas City. To say you were a force to be reckoned with would be an understatement, and he frequently glanced to your features and saw the same fires that burned the kindle of broken memories in himself.

You were dangerous, fearless, and morally questionable. This meant that Ellie nearly fuckin' worshipped you, and that Joel followed not too far behind.

The fact that you were nearly breathtaking to him was also an added benefit. Had he met you before, Tommy definitely would've chastised him for fawning after someone so out of his league.

You were brutal, and had made your grand entrance by saving Ellie and his life when he thought he had failed once again. Even months after you had joined their little duo, he still hadn't figured out how he hadn't seen you in the shadows. You had gotten rid of the person holding the weapon to Ellie's head just as they were about to pull the trigger, the shock of this third unannounced party granting you the time to take care of the one suffocating Joel.

Apparently, you drew a line of morals somewhere, but the line must've been distinct only to you. You had introduced yourself to the two after making sure they were both okay enough to continue, and it didn't take him more than another twenty-four hours to know that somewhere along the line, you had lost a child too. He had never expressed his inference out loud, but only someone who personally knew the pain of losing a child like that would save a kid like that.

From then on, he could tell that his silent vow to protect Elle at all costs was shared with another--an unspoken agreement going between the two of you.

It didn't take long for his 'crush' (as Ellie called it) to develop for you, though he denied it at any and all costs. How could he not? You could take out a clicker in the most agile way he had ever seen, and still walk away looking saccharinely angelic. His angel of death, he called you, after a night of too much stale alcohol surrounded by the sounds of crackling embers and an audience of the stars. You had laughed, and it was the first time he had made you produce that sound.

To say that the thought made him a little weak in the knees would put it mildly, and he thanked the onlookers of dust and ice above him that he was sitting down.

You had told him that that was probably one of the nicest nicknames you had been gifted by another in the last two decades.

He responded with a small smile, one that hadn't seen the light of day in much too long.

You said you liked it, the way his eyes looked with the little crinkles, and got up to stand watch. He noticed the scar that adorned the length of your collarbone for the first time, and let his eyes travel downward for the briefest of moments, before he lectured himself on why he couldn't think like that, of you, of anyone.

Your guard slowly went down for him after that night under the stars, but that didn't mean that you were any less brutal. You plowed through infected with so much as a blink of an eye and a scoff, and could bring a person to their knees, in want of lust or life, often taking the latter.

You two had become close after the winter that he nearly died at the University and Ellie and themself had gone through some of the most trauma one could experience. In fact, the caring whispers you and him had shared during those weeks, well, he damn near thought he made them up out of how unreal they seemed. He remembers the feeling of your lips against his cheek, of you falling asleep on one side of him with Ellie on the other while he nearly bled to death.

He knew he loved you then, but chalked it up to his dying mind.

And then the incident with the hospital happened, and even though you had barely the slightest clue as to who these firefly folks were, you had informed him afterward that when you woke up and pestered Marlene into telling you what was happening with Ellie you blacked out--that there was a reason as to why he had given you that nickname all those moons ago.

Because even if these people thought they could make a cure, who was to say that it worked? These scientists, with barely any resources to perform the necessary tests, had no guarantee that they wouldn't fuck it up, or that they would even did the surgery right had they performed it. No practice on what to do, no clue as to if they even acquire the correct sample. In fact, the only thing that they could guarantee would be the blood of a fourteen-year-old on their hands.

Joel had met you halfway through his sweep of the first floor, the fireflies making the dire mistake of keeping you two on the same level.

He decided to lie to Ellie about what had happened earlier then, and you respected his decision to a point, but you told her that you couldn't speak for him, and that you had found the two of them through no innocent manner.

So now here the three of you were, in Jackson, Wyoming, with him head-over-heels for you, and you feeling quite the same. A home was given to you all, and Tommy had rightly taken up his role of annoying younger brother, reminding him that not only did he know those who were ordained within the town (should the time come for you to become him and Maria's sibling-in-law), but that it would contain the looks that those of all genders gave you.

Like he said before, you were breathtaking, and now he wasn't the only one who knew that.

You had let your guard down a little sine you all returned, but he could tell you were struggling with it. Acting as a parental figure to Ellie had come easy to you, which meant that Tommy wasn't the only one constantly pushing him to make a move on you. He wouldn't be surprised if Ellie and his brother had a damn bet going on as to who could get him to say something first. And even though you two shared a room and a bed, nothing was set in stone. You would only really go out when the other two were, besides patrols, which you damn nearly craved according to Tommy.

It was hard for you and him, but the effort was there. He would see a more relaxed version of you in the nights, with the musings spoken between you and him after the sun had set only heard when your arms were around him in bed and the lull of sleep was around the corners.

So, when you both came back after a significantly rough patrol and something within him snapped at your recklessness, the feeling so long subdued came out from the depths of both of your hearts.

"You need to start being more careful of your surroundings!" He had sharply huffed at you after you had gone in with your usual guard and lack of self-care. The shock at his sudden outburst on your face spoke for the both of you. He didn't know why he was so upset, this was nothing new, but his fears had started to best him.

"Pardon me?" You had said after removing the saddle from your horse.

"Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about." He gritted his teeth and crossed his arms, your actions soon mirroring his. "You can't just go into spaces we haven't checked alone all because you feel up to it."

"I went in there because I knew that there were infected, I don't get why this is anything different than the usual." The shock had quickly faded into confusion at his accusation. As much as he knew your readiness for conflict of the physical, he knew that you were never one for that of the verbal. That was one difference between the two of you--you insisted that problems were to be figured out and dissolved as soon as they arose, for there was no point in letting an argument brew.

"It's just--" he shut his eyes and took a breath, trying to keep himself in check, recognizing the fear that still remained from how fast you bolted into the abandoned barn. "We're a family now, you n' Ellie n' I, and you have to start caring more about what you do and your safety."

"I have been, Joel. So a stalker got a jump on me when I turned my back, but it's happened to the best of us. I wasn't bit, I'm okay." You had reached for his arm, but he moved his stance back just enough for you to halt your motion.

Something hardened in his eyes at that, feelings of what could've happened if you were bit flashing across his mind like a bad movie. "What if we hadn't been on your six? Huh? What would've happened if you did get bit? I couldn't live with myself, and you know damn well that Ellie wouldn't take the news well either. What you do doesn't just impact you anymore. That's all I'm saying."

You had sighed, nodding. "You have to see where I'm coming from too though, love." Pet names had flowed relatively frequently between the two of you since the beginning of the winter, but he still wasn't used to them. He liked em', loved em' even, but a little voice in his head always told him he was getting too close. You both hadn't said those three words, but he was terrified that he would push you away the moment they entered the air.

"I just, never mind." He turned to walk away, which was his first mistake. He knew you wouldn't let the subject just go like that.

"No, no, let's talk this through. You have done the same thing countless times, hell I've had to pry those fuckers off of your back more than I should, but you still continue to do it."

He spoke with his back still turned. "Yeah, but with me it's different."

Mistake number two.

You had both moved to the street now, the lights of early morning filling the colour palette surrounding you both.

"What do you mean it's different? What, you think I'm weaker than you or somethin'?" Your voice held more bite with the claim, and he screwed his eyes tight. He knew that your ability to hold your own was a touchy subject at best, after you explained your amount of loss long ago, but it didn't even cross his mind that his words could've been interpreted in a different manner.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." He was getting annoyed, he was tired, but he turned to face you nonetheless. It was too early for a disagreement, but alas, here you both were.

"Yeah? Because that's not what it sounded like."

"Listen," your name tumbled from his lips. "You know that I know you're not weak, I have never doubted your strength and I never will. Goddammit. I just think that you go in over your head sometimes, thinkin' that you can handle more than you can."

Mistake number three.

"I know damn well what I can and cannot handle, Joel." Your chest was starting to raise faster, and he could tell that you were getting fed up, but so was he.

"Can you just listen to me for once?!" his tone became louder with every word. Memories of his life before ran through his head, alongside your image. If you wanted to be so stubborn, he could too. Maybe that's why he said what he did next. "You know what? No. I can't do this."

"Do what?"

"For the past how many patrols, you've come back with some sort of scratch because you don't care about what happens to you, and I'm sick of it--"

"--I've been working on it, and you know that. This isn't an easy change for me."

"But you're not workin' hard enough!" his voice was raised now, and he saw your resolve start to break. The dam had opened, and now the flood was rushing in. "If you're goin' to go and get yourself hurt, go do it away from me. In fact, it might just be better if you go on and leave, save us the trouble of worryin'." The words were leaving his mouth before he could even realize what he was saying, and he regretted every word that he processed.

"You don't mean that." He could see your breath hitch, your chest stumble as you spoke.

"I'll be damned if I don't. Can't have us thinkin' you're not gonna make it back if there's no back for you to come to."

"Joel, I am trying to work on getting better at it." Your voice matched his tone now, the anger seeping through you. "You don't see me pointing out every one of your flaws, and goddammit you have your fair share. You know I love you regardless, and--"

Mistake number four.

His body tensed up at your accidental confession, and your eyes widened as you realized what you had said.

"What did you just say to me?" He was too fired up to process his emotions healthily, and all the alarms to run were blaring loud and far. Did he feel the same? most definitely. Did he know how to express that in the slightest? Not at all.

But you held your ground. You knew him and how closed up he was, hell, you were nearly on par with his level there, but you had said it nonetheless. "You heard me, and I've got the feeling that you've known it for quite some time now."

He couldn't stop though. "Don't come home tonight. I don't want you there. Hell, you should've gotten bitten, for all I care."

You cursed yourself for getting close to that old grump. You didn't mean to say it, but you meant it, and you thought he felt the same. You left him there, then, not allowing him to see just how his words affected you. It was ridiculous really, how you let him get to you, but you liked the normalcy of Jackson, no matter how bad you were at it. You felt bad for leaving Ellie, but you thought it was best. Joel was right in that manner, she deserved a guardian that could keep themselves alive.

So that afternoon you talked to Tommy about taking your horse for a little joyride that evening, and though he wasn't too happy with your push for it, he obliged. It was past midnight when you came into the building you used to call home. You got your little belongings together, those consisting of a photo of the three of you, some flasks of water, some flasks of a liquid that was not water, some food, some weaponry, a journal, and went downstairs.

You scribbled a little note for Joel and went on your way. You couldn't look back, because if you did, you'd stay. Part of you broke as you imagined Ellie's reaction come the morning, but you continued on.

You didn't know where you were going, but you didn't really care.

After talking with Ellie that afternoon about what happened once the guilt had consumed him, Joel sought you out. You hadn't come home that night, and though in his fury he told you to do exactly that, he didn't expect you to actually do it.

He had checked the spare bedrooms but found only empty spaces. His heart started to drop as his hopes to see you dwindled. It was when he walked to the kitchen table was he met with someone. Ellie sat there, eyes glued to the small piece of paper in her hands, a tear slipping down her face. At the presence of Joel, she whipped her head towards him.

"I thought you were going to fucking talk it out." Her eyes were red, and she spoke with a bite. "Go get your fucking stuff, we're bringing them back." She stood up and went to go gather her stuff he assumed, leaving the paper on the table. He walked over and picked it up, the guilt returning as he read his name in your handwriting.

Joel,

Guess it really all was just one sided. You were the first person in years that I let myself care about, and I guess I'm facing the consequences. Like you said, you can't worry if I don't come back if there's no back to go to.

Tears welled up in his eyes, and he felt his heart become erratic.

Ellie,

I'm sorry. I hope you forgive me for leaving, but please don't hate me for it. If I were to stay, it would just be awkward between Joel and I, and eventually you probably wouldn't see much of me anyways. Love you, kid.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, this was a mistake. You'd been with people for too long that you grew to be rusty by yourself, and it was costing you, big time. You had been on foot for who knows how long now, but it was dark and sleep was slowly lulling you to its call, so you didn't hear that someone caught onto your trail and began to follow you. It wasn't until a twig snapped no more than fifteen feet behind you that you caught on, and by then it was too late.

A short fight later, death had found another, and there was a nasty stab wound in your shoulder.

You had thought to bring food and water, but why you forgot a med kit was beyond you. So, here you were, your horse waiting by the creekside, while you tried to find something that would hold enough pressure to prevent you from passing out. That was quickly coming to no avail though you realized, and you cursed at yourself for being so torn by rage from your fight with Joel to prepare properly.

You could see drops of your blood reflect in the morning dew that coated the grass. This wouldn't be lethal if you found a way to patch it up, but you were losing hope by the second.

Being agitated enough to find a solution, you decided to press on the wound with your hand, causing your sight to briefly black out in pain. A groan surpassed you, and you begrudgingly dragged yourself to your horse, doing your best to keep the reins in place via a bigger rock, and slumped down against it. If you could rest for just a few minutes and regain your breath, then you could focus better on what was around you that could help. Just a few minutes, you promised yourself, and the darkness overcame your shutting eyes.

It was the sound of another horse that jostled you from your unconsciousness. Looking around, it took you a half a moment to recognize where you were, a part of you aching for the comfort of your shared bed. But that's when everything came flooding back.

Joel. The fight. The note. The stabbing.

You looked skyward and groaned when you saw the paint of warm colour canvasing the blue. With a curse and a deep breath, you pushed yourself up, barely making it to a standing position before the pain overcame you again. You risked a look to your clavicle, and to your dismay, it was looking a whole (no pun intended) lot worse. You figured that you should've known that sleeping it off wouldn't heal a literal stab wound, but what the hell, it was worth a shot. The blood loss caught up to you making you lightheaded, and as you stumbled to your horse, you thought you were hallucinating, because you could swear that you heard Joel's voice.

The version of him that your mind had cruelly made up was coming closer, and jesus christ you were hallucinating Ellie's voice now too. The trees around you started to spin, and when you saw them turn towards the crest of the hill you looked up from, you actually laughed.

You were about to possibly die, and your mind had to punish you for it.

Calling up to the false images, you got their attention with slurred speech. "Shit, you can't even let me go in peace, can you?" Another sour laugh followed your accusation, and the hallucinations had their own conversation before rushing down to you.

Getting off Callus, Ellie slapped Joel's chest at the sight of your shoulder. "Holy fucking shit, guess we know what the blood trail led to." She moved to you after that with Joel not too far behind, but you put all the remaining strength into stepping back from them.

"I know you're both not real, but I don't know why you're still here." This must have been the precursor to death's entrance because that could be the only rationale for this. "You clearly got your way, Joel, now go away so I can please die with some closure."

It was a shame that this is how you went really, with a wound from a dirty blade, but alas. Fake-Joel crossed the distance between the three of you, grabbing onto your good side with eyes wide, examining the injury. "When did this happen?" His eyes sought yours, and you rolled yours in response. "Ellie! Get the bandages from my pack!"

You gave a poor attempt at backing away. "Can't you just leave me be? You told me to go and made it quite clear how you felt about me." You were slipping, and could feel the darkness whispering your name.

"I'm real, this is real honey."

The little amount of push in you snapped, because you scowled in response. "Don't call me honey." You glanced at his hands, noticing that they were moving to the wound. "Plus, if you were real, I wouldn't want to speak to you. So what, I said that I loved--" A gasp caught the end of your sentence, the pain clearing your sight as he started to put pressure on your shoulder. "--love you, but you knew it anyway. We were a family, like you said, and I let my guard down for you--" You had used more energy than you thought on that last sentence, with nothing more than a whisper allowing itself to get through for any other words you had.

Ellie had given Joel gauze by then, and he started packing the wound as best he could. "El, get the horses together, we're takin' them back." He spoke your name then, and you wanted to cry out to the universe for making you think this up. "Bet that felt real, yeah? Listen, I know I said some things earlier, but I really didn't mean them. I'm not that good with bein' vulnerable yet, and I'm still learnin', but I shouldn't have acted that way." Your name spilled from his lips again, and why was he saying all of this now? He continued to talk, but you didn't hear anymore, your eyes unfocusing and starting to shut, the darkness finally coming to claim you.

It had been nearly a full day that you were out, and even though Joel knew that it was partially due to whatever the doc had given you, he was damn near terrified. All of the day's events seemed like a blur, and by the time he was given the okay to stay in the room with you, he had had his fair share of tears. Ellie sat next to him in the chairs he brought up from the dining room, the temporary cot in his room that held you looking extremely out of place.

He had apologized to you more times than he could count while you were out, but the guilt that still racked him rang strong. He had failed, again, this time because he was too bull-headed to talk it out.

Ellie's nudges brought him out of his train of thought, her voice saying your name as your eyes opened. A string of cusses flowed from you as you came to, and he couldn't help but chuckle. Once he had offered you some water, he saw your features twist into skepticism.

"If I'm dead, this is not what I was expecting."

Of course you'd say something like that, trying to diffuse any awkwardness of the situation. Joel played off of it, because he'd prefer this to anger any day. "Yeah, we're actually angels."

That got a snort out of Ellie, and a weak smile from you, one of his own following not soon after.

A few seconds passed in the welcomed silence of each other's presence, but all too soon things became real again.

"I don't know how much you remember from out there, but you gave us a real scare." His hand gingerly reached for your arm, silently asking for permission to hold it, sighing a breath of relief when you nodded. You weren't one for physical touch, especially after an argument, so this felt like a hopeful sign "I really am sorry about what I said to you. I shouldn't have, and I didn't mean a lick of it. I care about you more than I have for nearly anyone else, and I--" The words caught in his throat, and your eyes followed his as they searched the room for an answer.

"Joel," you murmured, eyes on him. "Shit happened, we can talk about it all later, yeah? You don't have to give any confessions now." You kept trying to break the tension there, and he could assume it was due to Ellie being there.

He pushed through though, because Joel Miller was a stubborn man, and damn it if he hadn't been working up the courage to say it since you all re-entered Jackson's gates. "No, no, I want to say it, and I mean it."

"I love you too."

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller fluff #joel miller apologist #joel miller angst #the last of us #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou hbo #the last of us fanfiction #ellie williams #the last of us spoilers #tlou spoilers #tlou hbo spoilers #pedro pascal

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fan-goddess · 8 months

Note

Ettore and public sex????

He seems like the kind of kinky bastard who likes that shit

Bonus points for face slapping cos I'm a dirty feral slut 👌

Authors Note: Same girl, same….. I hate how short this is but this is what has typed out from my thumbs and my brain. So enjoy

Warnings: P in v sex, public sex, slapping, choking, blood kink sort of, masochism, sadism, forbidden relationship, not entirely sure how to describe this whole thing but it’s got some angst here (if I’ve missed anything you think I should add, then let me know)

Taglist: @sofiyathecunt, @marvelgirl123, @sylasthegrim, @mochi-rose, @valeskafics, @humanpurposes, @watercolorskyy, @blue-serendipity, @omgbrcat

When you first begun sneaking around with Ettore, you were weak.

The way his eyes made you feel so inferior when they looked at you. The way his hands would flex and strain to hold you as he rutted roughly into you against the wall. Even the way his tattoos stood out under the blue light of the hallways made you so weak in his arms.

It made the act of caring for him easier, somehow. Even though you knew you’d never do so properly or truly. He was unable to love.

That much was obvious with how he marked you so ruthlessly and carelessly. His teeth leaving permanent marks in the skin of your neck.

Since you’d begun your strange relationship with him, it’s been obvious that Ettore couldn’t even comprehend the meaning of subtle.

Especially as he fucked you against the wall right now, in the empty dark hallway.

“Such a fucking good pussy…” Ettore groans, his sighs and groans being all you can hear apart from the sticky sounds of his cock entering you, and the slight faint hum of the overhead lights.

You’d stayed silent, yet it seemed Ettore wanted an answer. Some kind of wanton beg or something like that. As his hand releases from your waist and harshly slaps your face without any hesitation.

Yet it’s strange as you hear yourself gasping and feel yourself clenching hard on his cock as you feel the slight stinging where he hit you, you realise how much you liked it.

Huh… who knew you was such a dirty feral slut… you muse. Smirking slightly as you found amusement in the situation.

“What are you laughing for?” He snarls. His hand that is seemingly still warm from his hard he hit you curls around your throat harshly to force you to look at him.

“Nothing at all…” You say, moaning slightly when you feel Ettore hit you again. This time on your other cheek.

“What a dirty bitch…” Ettore grins, resuming his harsh thrusts into you that leave you gasping for air as his hand grasps tighter on your neck. Only you don’t try and fight him to get away. If anything, you begin to smile in a haze of pleasure as your thoughts go dull.

Yet when his hand moves away your almost whine in disappointment when the blood rush flows to your head.

Your own hands that so desperately held onto his arms, now dig deeply into Ettores back. You can see the way the blood that begins to flow to the surface contrasts against the blue light of the hallway, and you find it so oddly beautiful your nails dig even more inside of him so it can drip more.

It’s even better for you when Ettore groans from the pain. Maybe he’s the same sort of sick you are?

The thrum of the hallway lights does nothing to conceal yours and his moans and groans. The sound of which rings in the empty hallway. You almost wish for someone to walk down and find the two of you, the thrill overpowering the overwhelming sense of danger you get whenever you visit Dr Dibbs for one of your many ‘checkups’.

As you think of it, you can suddenly feel Ettores hand that clasps around your neck once more tighten possibly in a warnings manner, and your cunt clenches wantonly around Ettores cock as the slight tinge of pain and pleasure mixes.

“Seems like I’m fucking the biggest whore on this ship…” Ettore groans, taking his hand from your throat to quickly slap at the skin of your cheek three times in quick precision before going back to tightly holding your neck.

Your eyes feel like they roll to the back of your head as the stinging on your cheeks flares, and you can almost practically feel your juices trailing down the skin of your arse as your legs tighten around ettores waist.

Maybe you were the biggest white on this ship… You needed to be to be after willingly agreeing to sleep with Ettore of all people. Especially after knowing his unique history to a certain degree…

Yet your mind is casted away from such thoughts as Ettores cock begins to pound into your rough patch deep inside of you, and suddenly, it’s all over.

The hand on your neck prevents you from sharply intaking, and instead your left only with shallow gasps that leave your head almost blurry and your whole body nearly collapsing.

You can however, as you’re on the verge of consciousness, feel the sudden rush of warmth of Ettores cum as he groans and floods your cunt. Your own cum spilling out of you with his own leaving a crude stain on your black underwear you cannot help but smile at.

“Fucking whore…” Ettore grins as he stalks you back to your room, and watches you collapse into your bed.

“Hmmm yeah…” You groan, getting yourself comfy as your eyes begin to droop from tiredness and pure fatigue.

“But I’m your whore…”

You can only hear the bluntness of a grunt before footsteps begin to echo, and your eyes fall and sleep overtakes you.

When you dream that night, it’s of you and Ettore living in the nuclear family home. You cook the Sunday dinner while Ettore reads the paper at the table, your son and daughter mindlessly chattering to him whilst he murmurs small responses in return.

It makes your heart clench at the memory of it when you find yourself waking up, but you knew what you signed up for the moment you nodded in agreement for his proposition that day. You would never ever get that life.

The next night, when he fucks you against the hallway wall again, your mind can’t help but turn to that dream. That fantasy. Your mind goes fuzzy as Ettores hands leaves red handprints on your neck and cheek, and yet even still, you know you’ve come to accept this as his love. No matter how fucked up it all is, the sex and the doctors unethical experiments included. As he’ll never change.

Ettore will never love you the way you want him too.

#Ettore #ettore fic related #ettore fanfiction #ettore fan fiction #ettore/reader #ettore smut #ettore fanfic #ettore x reader #ewan mitchell character #high life fanfic #high life fanfiction #high life #ewan mitchell fanfiction #ewan mitchell fanfic #ewan mitchell

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afreakingdork · 7 months

Text

Weak Spot - Chapter 44

RotTMNT Donatello x Reader

Okay yeah, I'm looking at this week’s chapter art by @garbagemilkshake

Warnings: Aged-up Turtles, Romance, Meet Cute, Villain Donatello, Cussing, Crushes, Xenophobia, Fear, Intimidation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Love, AFAB Reader, Vaginal Sex, Sex Rough, Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Creampie, Teasing, Scent Kink, Sexual Tension, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Marathon Sex, Somnophilia, Bondage, Feral Behavior, Feral Donatello, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Public Sex, Dom Donnie, Human/Turtle Relationships, Turtle Noises

Synopsis: A love story of villainous proportions! Though it hadn’t come easily, as these things rarely do, you found yourself in a whirlwind romance with a handsome and mysterious mutant. His idiosyncrasies had been easy to ignore as attraction grew into something more. However, will love endure when the unknowns about him end up being far darker than you ever considered?

Also available on Ao3

First 💜 Previous

You were awake and mobile, which, given the hour, might have been a triumph in and of itself. Sadly, the reason for which had been you royally screwing up your sleep schedule. Since working the two shifts, your body had seemingly given up its fight to keep you in line. Now, you simply woke up at whatever hour your alarm clock went off. The trade-off came, as these things usually did, in that whatever exhaustion you were meant to feel would carry on like a candle at the very end of its wick.

Still burning, but with flickers that said it would perish at the slightest gust.

Thankfully not feeling quite that unstable, you slunk along with a rhythmic thump at your hip. Street lamps lit your way as you moved closer to your destination. As you closed in, a few blocks away, you caught those dressed similarly to you. There was a man, just up ahead, who turned out from a side street with perfect posture. His antithesis happened to be across the street and lagging behind. Regardless of their state, both earned their own merits for simply being here just as you were sure they granted you the same.

Otherwise, why would anyone go out this early?

Moving with a lack of coordination as you imagined came with a variety of aged zombies, you clutched the strap of your duffle. Not out of fear, but as a lifeline, you were holding the pressure to make it bounce with each step. As if to further birth the cacophony, it abysmally failed at keeping time with the sound of your sneakers hitting the pavement. It was a form of communication that could only be interpreted by these two men, in this exact moment before the sun rose.

Approaching the glowing beacon on the otherwise dark street, you watched the first man slip right in through double doors. Your little merry band immediately dispersed, you felt a moment of slight as he let the door close right behind him. Suffering the sort of wound reserved for wordless comrades, the second man continued to counteract the first by being far too kind. Hitting the entrance at nearly the same time as him, you both did the awkward polite shuffle of who would grab the door.

Eventually moving first to relieve him of civil duty, you waved him through before following with a squint. Fluorescence too bright and music too loud, you let the stale air of the gym wash over you. A specific scent that seemed a mix of sweat-dried mats and day-old rubber, it was the same one that had taken over your gym bag. No matter how many washes, it clung to the interior where you knew your water bottle and a few other objects to be.

Passing a teen guard who probably worked this shift before school, she didn’t even look up as she tacked away on her phone. Knowing that this was all an act and if you tried to get by her without scanning in then she’d be animated like an awaiting animatronic, you dutifully swung your phone up to the awaiting red light. A beep said you were good and you hushed your phone to enter the space.

The hour meant there was no need to bother with a locker. There would in no way be too many people to trip over your belongings and that was one of the few benefits of the time. Another was a near open floor plan to execute your routine. One created as a mish-mash between your gym-obsessed friend's recommendation and videos you had seen online, you were meant to focus on chest and arms today.

Standing at the jungle gym of a functional trainer, you spied the first man already doing cable chest presses. He was yanking with a sort of rhythm that trailed you up his arm. Finding buds in his ears, you mentally excused his earlier rude behavior and instead applauded his foresight. For the change in your schedule, you had not been near as omnipotent and were now at the mercy of whatever amalgamation setlist was crafted in an attempt to please all gym goers.

Switching out handles, you set yourself up for downward cable flyes and didn’t bother counting. A warm up after the stretching you’d already done before the walk over, you’d become accustomed to this routine. After moving into apartment six, you’d found this gym as a little oasis. Walkable in a comfortable sense, it acted as both preparation and cool down each time you made the trek.

Switching arms at the first sign of fatigue, you worked your non-dominant hand. More of a struggle, you kept more of a time with this one as you ruminated, once again, over the owner. Whoever they were, you always pictured them as some yoked-up elderly person. That figment not only had the vision to own a gym, but open it up to all manner of beings. The layman’s way of saying this business was yokai and mutant friendly, the owner also charged a fair price considering the city. Adding to the narrative, you imagined they had had some luck in stocks back in the day. Set for life, they made it their aged altruistic mission to help others in wellness.

That’s what kept you entertained through a grueling cover of an 80s song at least.

Moving to lat pull downs, you felt pride as, after the first tug, you then needed to up the weight. Things were becoming easier as time went on in a way that enforced the age old sayings about practice. Consistency had been your mission above all else and that had been an odd key to your success. After that it was strength and stamina. Cardio was still lacking in the latter category, but your boudoir romps were something you jokingly said made up for it. In practice, going up stairs said that wasn’t the case, but you were a work in progress.

Having moved a needle, a pride surged in your chest as the bar came close to it. The next song on was one you sort of enjoyed and you resisted humming along as you did your set. Alternating with a few rests and drinking in an opportunity to sit, you finished up and moved to work with dumbbells. It meant moving over to the mirror and confronting its second surface. The panes didn’t quite match up and the first man you’d seen was currently doing reps in one front of one panel. Thankful for the space, it meant you weren’t stuck on the barrier between them and had an obscured view in the second. Checking your form, you started with some external rotations.

Feeling it in your rotor cuff, you glanced up at the clock to get an estimate of how long to be at each station. You’d be here for about an hour and a half before heading off to grab breakfast with your phone obsessed friend, Eugene, who had been tracking some burrito truck around the city. If all went well, you’d be back just in time for the real reason you’d planned today out just so: couple’s yoga with Donnie.

As silly as the whole thing seemed, when you’d gotten the notification about the new class, you’d passed the information on to your partner who had taken it with surprising gravity. Signing up immediately at his interest, you’d snuck glances at him studying up on the activity. Though you hadn’t actually seen his shopping cart, you just knew he bought clothes and you could only imagine what the internet had told him was appropriate. Based on his lake day attire, it was bound to be something functional, while also skirting the line of comical.

Giggling to yourself at the thought, you switched to bicep curls at nearly the exact moment someone behind you slammed their weights. Hearing the then approving grunt, you glanced into the reflection over your shoulder. Lifting out of a hack squat machine, you saw green elbows flex akimbo from a blue shell. Loosening your grip momentarily, you white knuckled the dumbbells as the figure then turned with a swish of a tank top barely holding on from where it’d been torn to near uselessness.

Passing a glance in the mirror as he turned, Leo froze while rolling his neck.

His face warped into one of sheer horror.

You met it with the dullest stare you could muster as you moved to preemptively re-rack your weights.

“No!” He shouted clear across the gym for all to hear.

You sighed as you turned to face him.

“No! No! No!” Leo repeated with each stomp as he pointed an accusatory finger at you.

“Leo.” You gave a flaccid greeting.

“Get out!” His jaw wound around the ‘T.’

“No.”

“This is my gym!”

You had to cover your stomach bottoming out. “My… membership begs to differ.”

“I’ve never seen you here in my life!”

He couldn’t be the owner.

“If you just joined, cancel!”

He would have seen your name.

“Go somewhere else!”

You had to be flagged.

“I’ll cover your month!”

There’s no way he would have let you join.

“Just go!”

That was an expression.

He closed in with his looming height as if to intimidate you.

You’d had more than enough of that.

“Shoo!” When he realized towering wouldn’t work, he limped his fingers and swung them to usher you away. “Go on now, git!”

“Would you-?!” You pinched the bridge of your nose.

“Would I what?!” His hackles went up in an obvious way because he was barely wearing anything.

It was the same with his supposed hero suit.

“Well!?”

He would be some gym bro. “You don’t own the place!”

It was a chance.

It was more of a wish.

You were manifesting.

The way he inhaled said you were correct.

It was an offense to his very being, but you hadn’t been wrong.

He didn’t own the place.

You had a one win notched on your belt.

It felt reductive as you’d been set at least 30 paces back by running into him in the first place.

Washed cold yet again, you berated yourself for feeling secure enough in Splinter’s deal.

Why wouldn’t Leo find some way to break it?

Some way to continue his obsessive stalking.

Why would he?

Stuck on many presumptions and with little basis, you took him in.

Patched cutoff sweats hung from a tight knot at his waist and the silly tank top bowed around the same area. Past his face’s obvious layer of impatience then came one of disgrace. It held a shame as if you’d marched into a sacred dojo with muddy shoes on. Staring further into his furrowed brow ridge, you caught a sullen fear beneath it. Something more intangible, the faded sweat on his chartreuse skin didn’t all look as though it was from the same workout.

He was nervous.

He was also still irritating as hell. “I’ve been going here for months!”

His snout scrunched up with confusion. “Yeah, right! I’m here every day! I would have seen you!”

“What time!?” You quacked and saw the first man, the one you’d logged as some kind of safety buffer, leave as he continued his routine.

Leo similarly glanced at the guy before returning his ire to you. “Now! Obviously!”

“Then that’s it!” You flicked a wrist at him before moving toward the weights. If you couldn’t take comfort from another being privy, you’d at least grab a weapon. “I don’t usually come at the crack ass of dawn!”

“Then go back to your time slot! I can’t deal with this.” He rounded you to stand in the way. “This is my sanctuary! Mi casa! My me time! Mi tiempo! Mine!”

“Then go! Go back to your machismo weight slamming bullshit! I’m not stopping you!” You glowered up at him.

“You can go anywhere! Anytime!” He threw his head back as he began to pace. “Do you know how many mutant-friendly gyms there are in the city!? 10! For the whole city!!!”

“Leo.” Ruffled from the exchange, you waited as he moved right and cut through before he could head back.

When he turned to make the next round, he jumped away from you like a cat surprised by a cucumber.

Even if he wasn’t exploiting some loophole around his dad, he was at least clearly afraid of leaving a scent trail.

You could work with that.

“I’ve got seniority! I’ve been going here for years! If they had platinum members I’d be one! Guild my app because I’ve got diamond status!!” He roared up to the ceiling panels.

Ignoring his rant, you grabbed a dumbbell.

He was white noise, same as the music.

Adjusting your posture, you carefully rolled the weight over your shoulders to do tricep extensions.

Doing your first rep, he curiously stopped.

Glancing at his face, you watched his eye twitch.

“You really think I’m just going to stand aside and let you do that?” He grumbled, stepping closer.

“Leo, I’m not above ratting you out to the front desk kid.”

“It’s your form! It sucks!”

“My-!?” The weight slid awkwardly and he shot forward.

Wincing at the speed, you waited for contact, but nothing came.

Cracking an eye open, you found him supporting the dumbbell with an open palm. “Why don’t you have a spotter?”

“Schedules don’t line up. Let go.”

“Fix your grip.”

“You’re holding it!”

“I’m keeping it steady so you don’t sprain your damn wrist!”

“I can feel you-!”

Making a noise of pure irritation, his other hand covered yours.

Ready to spit in his face, he was lightning fast as he moved all your fingers into a new position before shooting away as if he knew your intent.

Elbow still bent behind your head, you begrudgingly felt this new grip was more secure. Scowling all the more for it, you did an extension and felt how it moved the proper muscle groups.

“Lean back, you’re hunching forward…” He folded his arms and took a stance from the safe distance of several feet away.

Sending him another daggered look, you reluctantly squared your shoulders. Another immediate fix, you continued through the set under his watchful eye before you rolled the weight off to the side. “Had enough?”

“What’s next?”

“Leo!”

“Don’t ‘Leo’ me! Look at you! It’s sad! If this is how you do one simple exercise, how do all the others go!? I can’t just leave you like that! You make us all look bad!”

“It’s not your job!” You took a threatening stomp towards him, but he clearly felt secure in his safety bubble. Giving a bitter exhale, you put your dumbbell up before stomping over to a Smith machine.

You didn’t even have to look over your shoulder to know he’d trailed behind you.

“It’s gonna be like this, huh?”

“I just want to see your form.” He appeared in your periphery, still a distance out.

You were torn.

Part of you wanted to just grab the bar and go into your upright rows.

Another said that you were about to be painfully scrutinized if you did.

Usually not giving a shit, especially from the current party, you just knew it was going to make you all sorts of nervous.

Even if you did it perfectly you were going to second guess yourself.

He was going to humiliate you either way.

You grabbed the bar which had been left level with your chest and leaned your body into it before turning towards him. “What’s the plan here?”

“Make sure you don’t hurt yourself or badger you until I can work out in peace.”

Your head raised as you hadn’t expected such straight honesty. “Okay…”

His eyes were glued to the bar.

“So there’s no chance you’re going to leave me alone?”

“Nope.”

Could you beat him at his own game?

You glanced over the machine and assumed a stance.

No, in that way he was like Donnie.

As much as you hated to admit it, he was like Donnie in a lot of ways.

Stubborn, self righteous, astute, and trapped in his own toxic headspace.

It just so happened that with Leo, none of those comorbidities happened to align with your interest.

Bobbing to attention, you looked over your shoulder.

“What?” He did the same, trying to trace your gaze.

Just like Donnie.

You had to play your own way.

“I left my bag.”

He perked up and you watched him hone in on where it was over by the racks.

His shoulders then dropped as he was caught.

Civility said he should go and grab it, but the thought of touching your possessions gave him the willies.

“Wonder what you’ll do?” You gave him a knowing glance as you stepped away from the machine to go grab it.

Watching the sliver of him reflected in the mirror, he waffled.

Taking your time, when you reached your duffle, you laid out the straps just so before lifting. Coming up in a rotation, you pivoted to find Leo standing at frustrated attention next to the Smith.

He’d held your spot.

You very much wanted to laugh, but you had something else planned.

He looked away with creased lips.

You set your bag off to the side and knelt down to ruffle through it.

The action caught his attention and you could see him trying not to obviously look in your periphery. Shaking your head at it, you unearthed your phone and walked it over to him as you navigated your apps. “Hey, Leo, question?”

“Hm?” You had his wary interest.

You tapped your screen. “You said you weren’t going to leave me alone?”

“Not until you leave.”

“So no.”

“No!” His head lolled to the side.

“Good.” You nodded.

You sensed him puff up with irritation.

You swiped your finger a few times before hitting play and holding the phone out to him where the recorded conversation played.

He gave a sharp exhale before glowering at you. “What the fuck!?”

“There’s your bug.” You waved your phone and then pulled it out of reach at nearly the same time he tried to swipe it. “Only he’s almost 7 feet and green with gaudy stripes.”

“Gaudy my ass!” He nearly snarled and you stepped away as he attempted to take your phone again.

“So you’re saying yes, you are a bug?!” You teased, ducking under the bar to put it between you.

He fisted the thing like it had caged him. “Are you still recording?!”

“I need evidence, don’t I?”

“I’m not doing anything! You encroached on my space!”

“How about a trade?”

He didn’t drop his anger so much as he traded it for severe attention. “Figures.”

“If that’s a backhanded comment about Donnie, I’m already withdrawing.”

“Just a backhanded comment about you.” He gave a grin that had far too many teeth.

“You are such a bitch!” You mistakenly pointed with your phone.

He yanked it out of your hand.

“Leo, you fuck-!” You caught the bar the same time he let go and were about to slingshot yourself when the attendant appeared right behind Leo.

Not seeing her, he could do nothing as she picked your device out of his hand. “Alright you two, that’s enough.”

If she had gum, you thought this was the perfect time for her to pop a bubble.

Leo shrank down at the sight of her. “Ingrid!”

She didn’t glare at him so much as she flicked her dead gaze up. “Three people now have come to say you two were fighting over the equipment.”

“Fighting?!” Leo spoke too loud and tried to blow the volume away with a raspberry. “You know me! I would never!”

“Why are you stealing phones then, Mr. Hamato?” She waved the device.

“I wasn’t-”

“Right out of my hands!” You spoke, finally clearing the bar.

Ingrid continued her stare down.

“Please don’t report me again!” He dropped down to his knees and begged her with an offered conjoined fist.

“Ugh, you look extra old when you do that.” She sneered with the most emotion you had seen yet.

At the word ‘old’ Leo looked as though he’d been stabbed through the heart and fell back.

“Here.” She held out your phone and you snatched it.

“Thanks!”

“Don’t thank me yet.” She barbed, not letting go.

Stuck with it strung between you, you stared at her with wide eyes.

“You have a guest coming and a scheduled class.” Ingrid responded calmly.

Your eyes widened as you realized she hadn’t been ignoring the complaints, but instead gathering ammo to come unload on you both.

“We reserve the right here and I will cancel both.”

“Yes’m.” You lowered your head.

“Guest?” You heard a wisp of Leo even though he was still on the ground.

“What’ll it be?” Ingrid let go of your phone.

You pulled it into your chest with a little too much force.

Leo dragged himself upright.

She watched the both of you with disinterest.

“Not another word.”

“It won’t be a problem.”

She continued her lengthy stare until both of you were absolutely sweating. She then sighed and turned away, heading back to the desk. “One peep and you’re out!”

You both watched until she got all the way back to her destination before wilting.

“Kids these days are scary!” Leo threw his head back.

You could only nod.

Quiet resumed and you gave your phone a calculated toss back into your bag.

You listened as Leo gave a grunt, getting back on his feet.

He then stood there with his weight awkwardly off-center. “Why didn’t you rat me out?”

“I told her you took my phone.” You turned, just drained enough to start back up your exercise.

“We both know that wasn’t the bigger of my threats.”

You shrugged as both a response and to adjust your shoulders as you grabbed the bar. “Only 10 gyms sucks.”

Leo quieted further as you started doing upright rows.

“Where’s the next closest?” You asked without any real thought.

You heard Leo’s stare before he gave his answer. “35 minutes from here.”

“Sewer 35 or ground floor?”

He gave the faintest puff of laughter. “Up top.”

You felt your form slipping and racked the bar to adjust.

“Good.” He murmured more to himself.

“Do you instruct?” Why were you asking?

His lips flapped around a sudden exhale. “Yeah right.” Why would he respond?

You gave him a glance before finishing up your set.

He shuffled his weight to either foot in case you were going to leave.

You rounded the machine to grab a weight.

He blinked to attention and grabbed the same for the opposite. “You were warming up.”

“I’m not the newbie you were making me out to be.”

His gaze lowered as he held the plate.

You were slow to walk back to the bar.

“I’m sorry.” He spoke without bringing his eyes up.

“Not enough to leave me be.”

With his head lowered, he shot you a look against his lids. “You pay attention to all the wrong things.”

“Beg to differ.” With the bar now weighed down, you approached and made sure your grip was firm before you eased it off its safety latch.

“If you really wanted me to leave you alone, you would have told Ingrid what was up.”

You sighed which messed up your breathing, but you refused to let it affect your stride. “You’re on a first name basis with the staff, Leo. What do you want? If you keep badgering me, I’ll reconsider.”

“It just doesn’t make sense.”

“And it’s not my job to teach you!” You dropped your voice to a harsh whisper to keep from shouting.

Your chest throbbed with familiarity.

You really hated that.

As if that was the first time anyone had ever uttered those words to him, Leo stalled out.

You got through another set before you stepped back.

As if needing to fill the void you watched Leo add a plate.

Ready to stop him as you weren’t quite up to that, he rounded you wordlessly. Tracking him found him headed to the otherside where he equally distributed the weight. Sensing what was coming, you stepped off to where he had originally been standing so he could take the bar. He moved to it and did your same exercise with a furrowed brow ridge.

He moved the weight easily and, at almost the same time he hooked the bar back onto its latch, he stepped back and did a heel turn. There, he stomped a few steps out before returning with flapping hands. You watched the display with open curiosity as he then returned to the bar with a different heft bringing his brow down. With a flick of his hands, he freed the bar and did methodical reps.

Counting down for him, he then racked and gave a self-soothing exhale.

“You do this to release stress.”

His eyes widened and he turned as if he’d forgotten you were there. “Uh… yeah.” His gaze turned away. “Guess… I do.”

You shouldn’t.

Not after everything.

Not after what an insufferable ass he’d been.

Not after he twisted every good thing that was offered into something decidedly not.

That, however, was just the thing.

It struck you to your core.

It was self sabotage.

It was borderline immolation.

In the name of all that was good, he was going to take down everything with him.

A raging inferno, he wanted to keep everyone else at arm’s length.

Concocting a lonely contradiction, he thought he was doing it for their own good.

While that was a problem in and of itself, it had also gone on too long.

Those people he’d kept at a distance had strayed.

They weren’t going to keep waiting.

They used their freedom to work on themselves.

Meanwhile his charred carcass continued to burn as he held back a now non-existence threat away from empty space.

You hadn’t realized you neared him until the tips of your fingers just brushed his bicep.

It was all too familiar.

All too real.

He flinched, barely racking the bar to look at you with fear.

Over a foot shorter than him and he was terrified of you.

“Leo…?”

“Yeah?” His eyes were squarely on where your digits just hit the curve of a yellow marking.

“Are you like… okay?” You looked up at him with all the honesty you could muster.

It was like no one had ever asked him before.

Not without a sense of judgment.

Not in a moment of weakness.

Not when he was truly being himself.

It broke him.

You had to rally yourself to not fill the air.

Above you, you imagined the frame of his features split like a shattered mirror.

The image stuck, the pieces fell one by one to give way to an original scene transition.

Only this wasn’t a movie and what painted his skin was slack.

No tears, just a slow descent of his inflated person.

A single laugh ripped from it.

You felt like it tore his insides and the internal bleeding should have leaked blood from the corner of his mouth though it stayed dry.

He then gave another until he had to cup half his face.

The shards you imagined were real to him as he had to hold them in place.

His mask in disrepair.

This was his gym.

It was also more than that.

This was where he could turn off.

Let himself go for however long he would allow.

How long the workout dictated.

You moved until your palm flattered against his arm.

“I’m… so… fucking… tired…” He wheezed out between hiccups of laughter.

You felt it.

Albeit, small, you felt bad for him.

In no way a competition, he was just as broken as Donnie had been.

Nearly the same, but completely different.

Something Splinter said slid through your mind.

I have only ever wanted to… see you have a break… from your hardships.

It was time.

For all of them.

You stiffened your upper lip and went to where the plates were waiting. You could feel Leo’s weak gaze follow as you heaved one up and added it to the bar. Circling him on only a few strides, you hit the other and added its twin. Looking down three plates at his worn face, his eyes held heavy exhaustion while his lips were quirked into an odd smile.

“Add the 15s.” There was a comedy in his voice, but not for anything you’d done.

Giving a studious nod, you found one 15lb plate immediately, but another was scarce. You had to track back across the gym to get one, but running back felt like those fibers of cardio were teasing your heels. Hopping around the sensation, you added the weight and stepped back. “Should we clip it?”

“Nah.” There was more vigor in his voice as he did a side to side, getting into position. He then heaved the bar in a smooth inhale and exhale before he started to do reps.

You watched with bated breath until something small slipped out. It was something you hadn’t heard in years, but the moment begged it. You weren’t even sure what it meant, but it felt applicable. “You got this, come on. Si se puede.”

He fumbled the bar.

You waffled beside him, trying to remember how to best intervene in case he got crushed.

The anxiety of the moment made you forget the Smith had built-in safety and Leo latched it a few rungs further down than he probably wanted. There he bent over the secure bar, slamming the plastron around the waist with a clunk before giving another laugh. Different then the last, it still had that raw edge, but he sent it towards you as an offering. “What was that!?”

“I don’t know?!” You brought your hands up to prove your innocence.

“Si se puede. Si se puede!” Shedding the final layers, he then gave a bark of bright laughter.

You watched as he shook his head, mumbling something to himself as he went back to doing reps.

Whatever he whispered to himself was the length of a novel before he finally surfaced enough to look at you with crow’s feet peeking through his mask. "¿Quién crees que eres?”

Tilting your head, you knew he was talking about you, but not in what way. “You look better.”

“I don’t want to hear it.” He snuffed you with closed eyes and slow enunciation. “You think I’m ugly.”

It was your turn to laugh.

“My markings!” He clicked his tongue and stepped away from the bar. “I can’t help that I’m a red-eared slider!”

You laughed a little more as he shooed you to grab the plates. Circling to the other side of the machine, you watched him remove two with both his hands before setting them aside with ease.

Blinking off a moment of confusion, you moved to do the same.

Done, you waited for him to jump back on, but he instead waved for you. You’d almost forgotten you’d only got a couple of sets in and stepped up to do another.

“I can’t ask to start again.”

“I’ve already started.” You shot him a smarmy look, flexing your fingers as you slid the bar down its track.

He gave you a bored stare that was tinted with amusement. “I’ve got problems-”

“Everyone does.”

“Could you-!? For one second!? I’m really trying here!”

“I meant literally.” You slipped the safety onto its hook and held to look at him. “I mean yeah, everyone does, but I meant specifically you all.”

“And how many is that exactly?”

“More than I know about.” You began to turn the bar when he grabbed the end of it to stop the rotation.

He threw on the 15s in a few steps and waited for you to continue. As soon as you did, he spoke again. “I bet.”

He needed the safety of the workout.

For wherever he was now, it was the only way to keep his sanity at the same time as the honesty.

“Keep going,” you puffed out.

He chuffed and leaned back against the bar holding the awaiting weights with a smile. “Think we can get through it?”

“Temporary truce for the duration of the workout.”

“Minor jabs, but nothing below the belt.”

“I didn’t sign up for boxing.” You gave him a dry look.

His teeth showed in his smile. “A perfect example.”

“Then call it.”

“Truce.”

“Like I said.” Your arms fatigued and you stepped back to roll your shoulders.

“I’m not Mikey. I’m not Raph. I don’t want to be your friend, but tell me I’m not crazy that the markers for it are there.”

“You just sabotage it every time we start to become civil.” Needing your break, you went to rack up his amount of weights.

He mirrored you. “It’s not just you.”

You wondered if he was letting these things slip out on purpose. It almost felt like this place was where he redid his bandages. In the momentary exposure, his wounds could air themselves.

He did a rep. “I’m so sick of my own shit.”

Up, down.

“I just keep performing.”

Lift.

“I don’t think I even know how to stop anymore.”

Lower.

“The lines were blurred and they pulled the curtain, but I got in front of it. My tight five has been going on for decades.” From where he was smoothly moving, he suddenly clanged the bar. “I can’t do this. Let’s go to the landmine.” Without waiting for you, he scooped up your bag as he headed for a corner.

Unable to match his strides, you reached him just as he slapped two plates on the bar. He then got into a squat position and you drained some of your water as you watched him wheeze through several reps too fast. “Leo-”

“Slow down.” He dropped the bar with a clang that made you jump. “No, you go.”

You made a face to the floor.

He didn’t seem to notice as he walked a short distance away with his carapace to you.

It wasn’t that you had a problem with landmine exercises, it was more a technical failing on your part.

No matter how strong you got, you had difficulty in raising the bar and pulling the plates off at the same time.

Now faced with two of them, you locked your feet into place to do the exchange.

The first came off with surprising ease and you let it roll away instead of properly setting it down in fear of messing up the next.

Just to scold you for improper gym etiquette, the second refused to come and you grunted as you tried to lift and tug at the same time.

Leo immediately turned at the sound and the moment you waited for his barb felt like an eternity.

One that left you in stasis because he simply walked over and lifted the bar for you.

You yanked the plate right off and sent him genuine thanks.

He nodded, not meeting it and instead mumbling, “It’s about timing.”

You copied his ready position as you moved to the head of the bar.

“Look, no bullshit. I can’t… stand what you represent, but it’s not… you.”

Grabbing metal, you adjusted your grip over and over as not one felt right.

“I’m using you. No, I’ve been using you. You’re… the only chance I’ve got.”

“To understand.” You wheezed and heaved the bar high to do a thruster instead.

He was quiet and seemed to examine your form as you went through reps.

Lowering and hating how this particular corner had a drop ceiling which caused the fluorescent lights to bake the space, you set the bar down to get more water.

He picked it back up and did his own thrusters with one hand. “To understand.”

You lowered your bottle with a satisfied sigh.

“Which… isn’t your fault, but what the hell else was I supposed to do?” He switched to the other arm which turned him an angle away. “You think I can just pin down and interrogate Egregious Eggplant!?”

You snorted as you wiped your lip with the back of your hand.

He set the bar down and walked the same few paces. “You were an easy in.”

Your stomach tightened, but you buried its constriction into your core as you took your place at the bar. “A weak spot.”

There was a beat of silence where you lifted the bar before Leo turned with wide eyes. “Exactly! Oh, that’s great. The perfect name for it!”

He had no idea.

“Feet wider.”

You shimmied to keep the weight up and adjusted.

“I was so focused on that. On finally getting some answers, that I… forgot you were a person too.”

It took all your mental fortitude not to overextend.

“Look Todd is full of shit and I’m me.” He gave you the floor.

You lowered the bar to the ground in a squat before looking up at him. “A shit head.”

He gave a bow before coming up.

You’d give him his little injection of comedy. He was being so forthcoming you weren’t even sure how to handle it.

“I can’t offer anything that I won’t go back on. It’s like part of my DNA. I’m never going to let this go. Why should I? Why does he get off that easy? Why do I have to be the ‘better person?’ There’s no better here! I need to bring it up. I need everyone to remember it happened. Why should he get off scot free after everything he did? Why-!?” Leo outright snarled before slapping his hands to his face.

You scurried around and lined three plates up at the bar, only feeling bad you couldn’t put them on.

Leo didn’t seem to mind as he kicked them into a better position before applying them himself. He then threw himself into the reps, starting too fast again before his increased heart rate rushed a much needed blood supply throughout his body. As if getting a jolt off the body’s natural system, he slowed until he was moving at a more sensible speed. He then lifted straight out of a squat into a rotating single-arm press. Sweat worked on his brow and dotted darker blue on his mask.

“It’s enough.” You offered, feeling it was time.

Leo didn’t nod and there was no exact point, but there was a change in his demeanor as he switched arms. “I have a problem.”

“I can’t tell if you want to talk about it or not.”

“I don’t and that’s kind of the thing? I’m stuck because I don’t want to talk about it. I haven’t really talked to anyone about it. I definitely don’t want to talk to you about it and yet the whole reason I keep blabbing is because I am talking about it!” He slid right back into a squat and his leg muscles rippled around his knee brace before he stalled. He gave a small grunt and set the bar down with the most care you had seen yet.

You thought quietly.

He fell back onto his ass and moved to adjust his brace.

You were passively watching all this occur.

Was that the right move?

You weren’t sure.

Part of you still hated this situation.

You didn’t want to understand Leo better.

You wanted to keep on hating him.

That was easier.

It also wasn’t quite honest.

You didn’t hate him.

Not really.

He brought on a rolling stomach and nine out of every ten things that came out of his mouth was garbage so foul you wanted to hurl, but even then you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him.

Knowing what they’d done to Donnie and what Donnie had done to them felt like a moot point.

None of it fair, none of it right.

You didn’t know.

He didn’t know.

The only thing you could do was change that.

“Questions.”

He looked up at you, his expression worn.

“Let’s go back and forth. Ask each other questions. Whatever is happening right now, it’s not… right. I can’t explain it, but you know what I’m sick of?”

“Is that the first question?” He pulled his good knee up to his body and laid an arm on it.

You shot him a dry look. That was the best you were going to get. “Not knowing. We both don’t know what this is, right?”

“That’s question two.” He held up his two fingers.

You stepped forward and kicked his hip lightly with your sneaker. “We’re not friends. I guess we should be enemies. We don’t technically have a relation, but we are something to each other.”

Leo openly thought your words over.

With another kick he got the message that he should move.

He also did so in the worst way possible by crab walking to the side.

You threw a hand up in confusion and he chuckled before falling onto the mat below. “Can I go twice?”

“Sure.” You stared down at the bar and its three weights.

“You got this, come on. Si se puede.” He rolled onto his side and held his head up with a craned arm.

You got down on your knees and began the arduous task of removing the plates. “Ah, the thing you said earlier was something like ‘what’s wrong with you?’”

“More like ‘who do you think you are?’”

You had to debate asking because it would tip the scales further, but you also needed to know. “Is that an accusation?”

“Are you my tio when I try to sneak into the kitchen and steal some mozzarella?” He chuckled.

You rolled your eyes, finally getting one plate off. “Obviously not.”

“Then you’re good.” You felt his grin more than saw it. “The guest is him isn’t it?”

“Donnie? Yeah.” You wiggled the second plate, making some progress, but inevitably set yourself back every few centimeters. “We’re doing couple’s yoga.”

Leo blew a raspberry that broke into laughter and almost knocked his head off his perch. “What does that even look like?!”

“I don’t know, but I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity.” You smiled to yourself, gaining several long inches.

“You still get thrown off by him?”

That marked three, he was keeping track, which was very much him. “Of course. I feel like I could know him my whole life and he’ll still surprise me.”

Leo made a little noise that didn’t quite hit curiosity, but was spoken of something of interest.

“Was today really not a set-up?” The second plate was nearing the end of the bar.

“Here?! No!” Leo fell back onto his shell and stared up at the ceiling panels. “This is my sanctuary. I still feel violated. I’d never do that to this place.”

You studied the expression on his face. It was a disproportionate amount of dishonor tinged with serenity.

“Do you hate Mikey?”

You bobbed, the plate falling off with a loud thump.

Staring down at it, you felt Leo look over in wait.

“No.” You set the bar down and used one hand to slowly push the second plate away. “I’m still mad in a way, but he made the right move when you all kidnapped me.”

“A step in the right direction.” Leo posited.

“Kinda…” You got the weight far enough away before turning back toward your mortal enemy: the last plate. “You know, I’m sort of operating on a very, very minor scale like you guys; all the bad blood.”

Leo gave a disagreeing snort, but his following silence said you weren’t completely wrong.

Giving a small note of irritation, you began work on getting the late plate off.

“By like a million degrees of separation less! You’re talking heroes versus villains versus you versus.. us! I guess…” He sighed. “I see what you mean? All the interactions so far have been bad, so why expect anything else? Something like that?”

“Yeah…”

“How do you go from there?” Leo asked the air.

“Doing this, apparently.” You were losing steam and sat back to tug your bag over. Taking a swig from your water bottle, you lowered it and watched a bead of escaped liquid slide down the side. “Do you come alone because this place makes you vulnerable?”

“You…! Can’t do that! What’s wrong with you!? Talk about going zero to hundred!” His arms and legs shot out. “You can’t just go from ‘what’s your favorite color?’ to ‘how do you think humanity will fair in the inevitable heat death of the universe!?’”

You could only shrug against your hopeless smile.

His lower lip ate up his upper one and his eyes looked manic for a moment before he went slack. “Yes! Alright! Yes, fine! This is the one place I can be me and I don’t like others seeing me like that! The lipsticks off the pig!”

“The-what?” You laughed.

“I don’t know! I’m still upset that you think I’m ugly!”

“I never said that!”

“You said gaudy!”

“I said your stripes were!”

“They’re part of my skin! That’s like making fun of someone’s freckles!”

You puffed up with offense.

“See!” He pointed at you. “I bet you were a kid bully! That’s where you get the evil to stay with him!”

“I was not! I wouldn’t do that!”

“Bully, bully!”

“Ugh!” You yanked the plate halfway down the bar and marveled at the work.

“You’re welcome.”

“You were not faking all that just to get me mad enough to move this!”

“You’ll never know!” He faked a cackle and let his arm fall onto the ground. “Do you hate Raph?”

You looked at him with a tilt of your head. “No.”

Leo watched you, obviously hoping for more.

You curled your fingers into a hole in the plate. “He’s been the nicest so far. He’s like a victim of circumstance.”

“You’re not wrong.” Leo’s shell created an awkward curvature to his body, but he still sank back until his head hit the mat. “You asked me if I trained earlier. Not me. Future me, maybe, but not this me. That’s Raph. Doesn’t even matter what age. He’s good with kids. He’s good with the scary teens. He doesn’t even dodge the adults that always wanted to when they were young but never got the chance. He’s the sensei.”

There was way more there than you knew about. You were having trouble keeping track of your questions. “Were you faking?”

He pursed his lips. It was clear he had hoped that the bits he dangled in front of you would have thrown you off. “No.” He gave a loud sigh. “It does hurt my feelings, but not as much as I’m playing up.” His head rolled away from you.

You gave a small smile. “I’m sorry. For real. They’re bright, and along with your outfit, it’s all loud like your personality.”

He chuffed and you could sense his grin. “When you say it like that I kinda like it.”

“Your ego is enormous considering it’s apparently a put on.”

“’Fake it till you make it!’” He gave a big stretch that sat him upright. “Honestly satisfied with how I look overall. I lost track of the gimmick at some point.”

“Surprised you aren’t in booty shorts.”

He threw his head back with a chuckle. “I have some of those little athletic pinstripe ones. I was one of those hot 80s dudes for Halloween one year. I even had Mikey draw on a little bunch of chest hairs.” Leo reached up and traced curly q’s on his plastron.

You bit down on a raspberry.

“I’ll send you pics-” Leo started off handedly before he seemed to realize himself. His gaze scanned towards his body where he pulled his legs up, self conscious. “It’s your turn.”

“Is your next question going to be if I hate you?”

“No, I was going to ask who approached who first.”

You blinked. “Were you going to ask eventually?”

“No.”

The nonchalance there bit you. “Should I… answer yours?”

“I’ll let you rephrase.”

“Why do you think you’re less than them?”

You watched the question physically strike him and he had to get to his feet. “Outside the game, what were you working out? I thought you were doing arms and back, but then you threw in some legs.”

“I wasn’t planning on doing this.” You gestured to the landmine.

“Ah…” He grimaced. “What was next?”

“Lat pulldowns.”

“Let’s go. I need to move.”

You gathered your bag and looked back on the fallen weights.

“Leave ‘em.”

“You are a menace.” You followed as he led over to the machines.

“I’m gonna be here awhile. I do rounds and pick everything up when I’m done. I have a whole system.”

Your lips fell as you should have figured.

He gestured to a pair of machines and took one.

You sat at the other and pinned an appropriate weight while he went straight down the stack for something that seemed absurd.

He was a brick wall in his own right.

Grabbing the bar, he pulled down with perfect form a few times before responding just as the bar headed towards a stationary position. “I’m nothing without my family.”

Where you were just about to pull down, you had to whip your head and gawk at him.

“Too honest?” He arched his brow ridge and continued to do reps.

“Kinda.”

“I’m not ashamed. I’m the face man. I’m the leader. I live for them. I don’t think I’m less for it.”

“Leo…”

“Whatever you’ll say is just going to be what I’ve heard someone else yak about a million times. I’ve dismantled them all. Might as well not bother.”

You frowned and let the bar go up with the weight.

“’That’s not healthy.’ ‘You can’t think like that.’ ‘What about your life?’ ‘You can’t be happy that way.’ ‘It’s not sustainable.’ Round and round.”

You pulled, feeling the tension.

“I can rest when they’re safe. They’ll never really be so I keep going. There are moments. No one can really go 24/7 so yeah, that isn’t sustainable. That’s why I do 2-3 hours of this every morning at the crack of dawn. Gets my mind right or should I say shuts it up.”

You widened your hold to make the reps more difficult.

“Ugh I’m breaking my own rule. I always figured if I said it aloud, I’d break the spell.”

“Cinderella does wear blue.”

That got a smile. “The first time I did this, I was fresh off a night of hell. Probably had tetanus after a long fight at the junkyard. Was walking home separate from the guys because we’d gotten into it. I looked like hell and this buff old man approached me like I’m not 3 times his height and asks if I want to try his gym out for some promotion.”

You tried not to interrupt, but relished in the validation.

Leo passed you a single curious glance, but continued on. “I tried to argue with him. ‘I’ve got a home gym with weight limits your whole place couldn’t fill.’”

You imagined Raph lifted what had to be several tons as a warm-up.

“But how could I say no…?” Leo took on a faraway smile. “Within 30 minutes it stuck. It had to be here. I signed up and worked out for like 5 straight hours. Had some of the best sleep of my life. Missed my next patrol because I overtaxed my muscles. It was a whole thing!”

You took a rest and held your bottle instead of sipping from it.

Leo shrugged. “Go, go, I’m rambling.”

“It was me.”

“You in a limbo contest?”

You shot him a look of confusion.

“Getting laid is not about how low you can go.”

You chucked your bottle at him.

He caught it, laughed and kept his weights from slamming all at the same time. “Gross, though. Actually.”

“You asked!”

“Still trying to weasel out some answers.” With his long reach, he set the bottle by your side. “It’s my nature.”

“I love him.”

“If I’m Cinderella, which for the record is not my preferred Disney royalty, you’re Ariel.” His lids lowered as he stared at you without amusement. As soon as he saw he had your attention, he clasped his hands and fluttered his lashes. “’Daddy, I love him!’”

“I’m not 16 and trust me, we’ve been through it!”

Leo’s brow ridge shot high. “Do tell.”

“Hell no, you’ll use it as fodder.”

“Yeah, but, think, it may also get me off your back.”

“This.” You gestured between you. “Is not going to be a thing.”

“That’s for sure!” He shouted, eyes going a calculated sort of wild.

You scowled.

He bit down on a sigh and looked northward before returning with an open passivity. “You convinced Dad and Raph, so hit me with the pitch.”

“You’re not going to listen.”

“I’ve bared my soul! What more do you want?” He hid his expression in more reps, but his bulky arms could only cover so much. Each time his bicep lowered, you saw a blink of worry in his lips.

You watched until he seemed to calm down before you began. “It’s a pretty classic format with a twist. We meet, and then we meet again, and again, because we want to. He says he was just indulging me at first, but I wonder sometimes.” You looked up at your forlorn bar. “Not really love at first sight, but I think we both sensed there was something there. We keep seeing each other and… it’s tough. He’s an enigma. He won’t tell me things. I blindly accept it because puppy love is all consuming.” You dropped your gaze to your water and tapped it with your shoe. “We both mess up. We both hurt each other. We both try again. We want to. There’s more there and we cultivate it. By the time the while truth comes out, I’m ready to dump him and he knows it. He knows how badly he screwed up and yet he…” You glanced up at Leo.

The other turtle had stopped and was watching you with parted lips that he closed on contact.

“He tells me everything and plans to just let me go. Actually, full stop. No tricks and presumably he was going to retreat back into his shell, no matter how terrible of a metaphor that is.” You sighed and turned all the way in the little uncomfortable seat to face him. “And I find I don’t want to. I still want to be with him and maybe that’s stupid, but for every bad there’s been, there’s been a hundred rights and each time we get stronger and it’s scary. It’s a terrifying kind of love because you’re aware of how dumb it makes you. Of how much you’re willing to put up with. Of how much you shouldn’t but…” You have to look away as your throat tightens and your chest thumps with your heart. “And he smiles, open and free and it means everything and I know it wasn’t me, but in a way it was and I would chase that high a thousand times. Push the proverbial boulder up the hill even if I don’t get anywhere, just to see it again.”

Leo’s weights didn’t slam as much as they exploded.

Nearly falling out of your seat from the frightful jump, you watched as he stood up and stormed away.

Staring after his form, you then rotated back into position before reaching for the bar. Pulling down, you figured that this was the only way it could have gone. Leo was the most unreasonable of the bunch. No matter how cunning he was, he was capped by prejudice.

He also was completely right in having it.

His family was the definition of contradictions and you hated how it always seemed to surprise you. It was never clear progress and when it appeared to be, it was simply another con. They’d been tricking themselves for so long, they could no longer pick out what was real. It was exactly as Leo had said.

Your muscles burned as you just kept doing rep after rep.

You couldn’t fix them. As often as you said it wasn’t your job, it was also just a simple fact of the universe. You were only one person. You didn’t have the correct training to deal with this type of trauma. It was as unethical as it was unwarranted. Trying to pull them out of their individual abysses would be like them kidnapping you. You’d be fixing them for what was essentially your gain. You didn’t know what was best for them. You didn’t know anything about them.

You only knew how not to fall into their patterns.

“You know why I’ll never let it go?”

You stiffened, having not felt an ounce of malice until it towered behind you.

Turning slowly, you found Leo with a poised expression even though everything about his voice said he was falling apart.

Your fingers slipped and the weights slammed.

“We’re all we have.” He was right behind you, but still took a step closer. “Isolated for years. Sneaking up onto the surface to see our one, single solitary friend. We made the best of it. We had each other. Dad did what he could. To let us be kids when we weren’t supposed to. To keep us from the damned destiny that ended up repeating. Doomed to repeat! Sure, it fucking hurt that he’d mix us up. It felt like shit to be reduced to a color. I hated blue for years, but it was also all I had!”

You were trapped in a never ending slow turn.

“And yet he was so fucking different, wasn’t he? He had it so much worse! It wasn’t a contest! No one ever once compared our stories! No one!! Not even Mikey and he just says shit without thinking all the time! No one blabbed. No one even said the phrase ‘we understand.’ We didn’t understand him! We didn’t know anything other than he was fucking mean and he was supposed to be one of us! He was purple! He had our names! What else were we supposed to think!?”

Leo broke for a bleeding expression before slamming the mask right back into place.

“All we ever did was reach out! For years! In spite of everything! The death! The decay! I didn’t want that! The injuries! He hurt us and Mikey would lay there sobbing, holding onto me like I was the one standing in the way, begging me to try again. ‘He didn’t mean it.’ ‘He doesn’t know.’ ‘Look at Casey.’ ‘Look at Drax!’ It took years, years for them to unlearn their upbringings. Casey was literally raised in a cult, but woe is Donatello, right?!”

In a drop that you thought might be a full collapse, Leo slammed down to his knees.

It put him at an agonizing eye level.

You could almost see the youthful versions of them acting out his story in darkened pupils.

“And he made his point clear! He lashed out until we gave up! He kept going after that to make sure we were good and done with him and then you…” Leo seized up. “You show up and that’s it? Everything’s different? You mess up and he doesn’t punish you? It’s not a fucking contest? When he always made it one? You don’t have to jump through any hoops? You’re good enough right away? You’re not perfect. You’re no angel. You’re a person! And just like that he’s over it? Good and well! All done! Peachy keen!”

Your lip quivered and you felt as though Leo might smack a hand over it, but he stayed in place.

“Love.” He spat acid.

Your eyes fell with your heart.

“There’s different kinds, but none of them are less.”

How did it go the last time he spoke about this?

“In case it isn’t obvious, you should know by now which is most important to me.”

It hadn’t been ‘we.’

“It was easy when he was just evil. I could write it off. Tax exempt, CPA certified. He’s unsalvageable. Call your dealer and put the lemon law into effect. That’s it.”

He’d put redemption on the others when he had held the same hope.

“But it’s not. That’s why you… drive me nuts. Insane. I don’t get it. Because if love was enough…” You could hear him move.

Opening your eyes from where you hadn’t meant to close them, you found his hand inches from your face.

“If you were enough, then any of us could have been.”

Already collapsed, your expression plummeted.

“But we weren’t.” His finger retracted as if you ran hot.

That’s not true!

You wanted to scream it in his face.

You wanted to grab his shoulders and shake him.

You felt the same way.

You had for the entirety of your time with Donnie.

It was just a little different.

Like everything else between the other turtles and you.

You were a fluke.

You weren’t worthy.

Not anymore than them.

Not any less.

Leo had to know.

There were cracks in his story.

If they just knew both sides, then-

You didn’t know Donnie’s position.

Not really.

You knew white hot hatred and resentment.

You knew the mere mention of any of them would set Donnie off.

You knew the Donnie who openly spoke of their demise giving him closure.

He’d also stayed for Splinter to finish his coffee.

He always paid the check.

He’d learned his native tongue.

That hadn’t been for you.

That predated you.

He’d also called it weakness.

Your eyes widened.

“Leo.” Your voice was hoarse.

His head hung loose.

“Leo.”

“Sorry.” He mumbled so quietly it was nearly swallowed up by an agonizing pop medley playing on the speakers.

“Leo!”

It took a great labor and a deep breath for him to marginally bring his head up.

“I… can’t fix this.”

Shooting straight through antipathy, Leo gave warped confusion that begged you to explain why you’d wasted his attention.

“I-I I know what I said.” You couldn’t maintain eye contact. “I can’t promise anything, but things are already changing. They-”

“I won’t forget.”

“I’m not asking you to! I’m not saying it’ll be better. I’m not…!” You choked on saliva and turned your head away. “I don’t know what I’m saying, but things are happening.”

“You think I don’t know that!? What do you think I’ve been trying to do all this time!? I’ve been hell bent on figuring it out!”

“I know!” You returned to him. “I know… and I know you went about it the wrong way and it’s not the same, but!” You threw your head back and gave a frustrated yell. “I’ve had the same crisis. ‘Why me?’ I don’t know, but I don’t think it was me.”

This time the offense took precedent in his baffled features.

“Listen!” You snapped at him. “It was when!”

He held strong.

“I’m not saying I’m not worth something. I know I am now. I’ve gone through it and I’ll keep going through it and reminding myself of what’s real, but if I had met Donnie, I don’t know, even a day earlier, I don’t think it would have been the same. It had to happen at that moment, it had to-”

“Are you talking about fate?! These things don’t happen for a reason!” His teeth bared, sharp, in your face. “He made these decisions! He chose!”

“And he’s choosing again! And you can all choose! You always have a choice! One pick doesn’t have to live a lifetime!” You reached out and pushed both hands against his plastron. “As long as you’re alive you have an option! You can live!!!”

Instead of a physical blow, it was like the feather light tip of an arrow pierced Leo’s jugular. His Adam’s apple rolled around it, unable to swallow down the arrowhead as he fell back onto his ass and stared up at you.

“I can’t speak for him, but I know what he believed when we met. He thought of himself in exactly the way you see him. Written off! Evil! Unchanging! But he was wrong!” You didn’t chase him so much as you stood up. “He continues to be wrong about himself every, single, day! He hates it!” Happiness and tears collided for a grab-bag on your face. “That among a million other things is what keeps me guessing. No one knows what the future holds! Sure, a choice leads to many others, but that doesn’t mean the choices stop. They just…”

“… Keep… going…” Leo whispered and then broke away.

You watched as he curled up into himself, nearly becoming only his shell as he folded his limbs up against his body with his arms over his head. He yanked himself down into that position and rocked to self-soothe.

Feeling limp in comparison, you sank down, numb, into the machine’s chair.

Across the room, you could see Ingrid staring at the display with uncharacteristically wide eyes.

There was no way she was going to interrupt this.

No one would.

Dropping your gaze to Leo, found him still shaking.

You opened your mouth to speak, but something came out of his tangle of limbs first.

“This is my gym.”

You almost laughed, but held back because that would have surely sprouted tears. “It is and I’m sorry I ruined our work outs.”

He gave a hollow huff that said his ducts were in a similar place before his arms dragged down his form. It revealed his head, where reddened eyes refuse to give any more away. “Don’t think this changes anything.”

“Hold onto it. You’re not wrong.”

“Couldn’t you have started with that?!” He gave a dry heave.

“I did!” You sounded similar.

“Fuck!” With his arms now free, he flapped his hands like he had earlier. “This is not the kind of catharsis you want at 7am on a Saturday.”

“Seven!?” You quacked and spun around to look at a big red digital clock.

“What are you worried about?” You could hear his legs fall to the ground. “Classes don’t start till 8.”

“I was supposed to meet a friend for breakfast!” You dove for your bag and fumbled for your device.

“Better be a light one. You do not want to do yoga on a burrito stomach. I would know!”

You shot him an incredulous look as you found at least a dozen messages from Eugene. “Ahhh!”

“You grab something quick-serve.” Leo’s gym clothes rustled, and when you glanced over, you found him standing. “I’m gonna go… climb the Empire State Building or something. Want to feel like King Kong. That’ll fix me. Temporarily at least.”

“Go and cry at the top of the world?” You managed a disgusted parting of your lips.

“Cry over this? When have I ever given you the impression that I’m some kind of mop? I’m a man! My tears are reserved for breaks in toxic masculinity only!” He put his hands on his cocked hips. “That includes getting flamin’ hot cheese dust in my eyes and watching kid’s movies that send me into trauma spirals!”

“Go to therapy!!” You shouted to the ceiling.

Leo flip-flopped a limp hand that said he was fifty fifty on the matter.

You rolled your eyes at him as you shouldered your duffle. Tacking out a short response to Eugene that should at least quell some of their concerns, you held your device to your chest to address Leo fully. “Text me the stupid Halloween costume.”

Leo’s brow ridge took his mask so high it almost covered his head. “You know I’m part of that, right? You think after one mind-breaking speech we’re gonna be all buddy-buddy?”

“Then don’t! I literally don’t care!” You moved past him, heading out. “Who says I’ll reply, asshole? Maybe I just want to roast you with all my friends or have a better pic the next time we play pin the tail on the jackass?!”

You heard him whip around. “You did what?!”

You didn’t turn and threw a dismissive hand up as you left his line of sight.

Hitting the chill autumnal air, you pulled your phone back up and silently apologized as you closed Eugene’s latest message barrage. They’d dropped a pin of their location and it was where you were about to head, but you needed to send a different message first.

You: Forewarning, I’m going to smell like Leo

You: Wait

You: That sounds terrible!!!

You: Not like that

You: Never like that!

You: Excuse me gagging! Unsend!

You: Ew ew ew

You: Whatever focus okay

You: Ngl A LOT happened

You: It wasn’t bad and it wasn’t good, but I swear to you it’s not a cause for concern

You: You’re already worrying

You: Go up two messages and read that one like 50 times

You: Oh and this next one

You: You don’t need to worry.

You: I will tell you absolutely everything

You: During yoga if you can’t wait

You: That’s totally fine

You: Right now I’m going to destroy myself with a burrito

You: I really really ❤️ you, Donnie

You: Even more if you’re relatively cool about this

You: Which if you aren’t, again, yeah I WOULDN’T BE EITHER

You: I just…

You: No

You: No wait!

You: No stipulations on my feelings for you!

You: Not my best message

You: My brains fried

You: Ahhhhhh sorry so much adrenaline!

You: This morning was insane!!

You were ready to type another ten messages out when his response bubble appeared. Fully stopping at the sight of it, you stood in the morning air and waited to see what he would say.

Booty Shaker: I’m here for you, always. Whatever you may need. I’m on standby and await a lengthy debrief. Until then, you’re making it difficult for me to do your assigned reading amongst the message spam.

Your heart surged, but you could only think that you really needed to stop giving him stupid contact names.

Even though they are so busy, my betas still make time for me so send them some love! @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

#weakspotfic #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie x reader #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt x reader #donatello hamato #Leonardo Hamato #donnie x reader #rise donnie #rise leo #rise donnie x reader #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie #me #fanfiction #my fanfiction

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