#lol im glad you like my opinions anon
Note
Do you think john had an eating disorder? I never know what to think but I trust your opinions
Hiya anon! Sorry I took all day answering this, I was just out with friends yesterday [NOT celebrating the queens jubilee, but by all means celebrating Prince Andrews POSITIVE covid test even if its probably a straight up lie cause convenient timing, huh. I hope he's unwell though.]
My opinion on this is that John clearly struggled with disordered eating habits throughout his lifetime—at times they were pretty bad (i.e during touring), and at other times they seemed virtually non-existent (i.e apparently he was pretty relaxed about food when he was with May Pang [disclaimer: have not read her book yet though, so Im going off of what Ive heard])—and I think both his disordered eating behaviours and mentalities were prevalent enough to constitute an eating disorder. Disordered eating and Eating Disorders are not the same thing, although I find the distinctions between the two to be somewhat trivial at times, since there is so much overlap between them; to me, the key difference between being a disordered eater and having an eating disorder is all about the mentality—i.e a person may under-eat in their day-to-day life, but they might not be struggling with anorexia as a mental illness if the ED mentality is not there. Both are still issues of their own, but different—although to reiterate, very susceptible to overlap.
I made a post on this topic awhile ago, and although I don’t think I outright disagree with anything I said in that post, I have been wanting to remake it for sometime now, because Im constantly coming across new tidbits of information that corroborate this.
As I said in the post, I think John probably had EDNOS [or Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified], sometimes called OSFED [Other Specified Feeding and Eating Disorders].
More below the cut!
Here’s the definition of EDNOS:
EDNOS refers to eating disorders that display some of the characteristics of other disorders, such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa, but the behaviours of which do not fit the full criteria of these conditions.
Ednos consists of cycles of restricting food, then bingeing, followed by purging after feelings of shame and guilt. An obsessive nature and over awareness is common surrounding food, weight, and calorie control, where restricting and avoiding meals is another of the many symptoms.
Someone living with Ednos may have certain rules about the types of food they can or can't eat and at what times they believe they are allowed to eat. Behaviours such as using laxatives, vomiting, or over exercising are often expressed as a way of compensating for eating. Bingeing on large quantities of food is common, followed by a period of restrictive or purging behaviours. Ednos is massively under reported in the media but makes up for a large percentage of eating disorders worldwide. (x)
First off, I just want to take a second to address the rumour that John had bulimia. Im discounting this argument from my post, simply because it lacks any evidence to corroborate it, and overall seems to me like its the product of exploitative journalists more then anything else. For example, it was alleged in the book Backstagepass VIP by Debra Sharon Davis:
‘John and I were having a heart-to-heart,’ recalled Nilsson, who died back in 1994. ‘Then all of a sudden John went off about how powerful men had ravenous appetites and wanted to swallow the world whole. And he thought that was why he had this horrible problem – being hungry all the time and overeating. 'He said he often fantasised about large quantities of “forbidden” foods. He said food was “sacred” to him and it frightened him. He saw it as “a great weakness” and he referred to it as "a lack of discipline.”’ —Harry Nilsson, The Daily Mail 2012 (x)
If there is evidence to suggest that he struggled with bulimia I would of course consider it, but reading through articles like this one, even assuming the author is being truthful, theres still nothing to suggest he had a purging disorder specifically.
So onto the specifics of John’s eating disorder. It seems to me that John found himself in a restrict/binge cycle throughout the touring months of 1965/66, and possibly before and beyond both these years, although theres less documented evidence to suggest as such.
Here’s some documented behaviours John had surrounding food, that are all suggestive of an eating disorder:
This article:
“John has a tendency to gain a little weight between bookings, and he goes above his natural weight of 159 pounds. Right before a tour, he’ll start doing everything he can to lose weight.”
“…while the tour is on is the best time to reduce [food intake]”
“He sticks to one meal a day—steak and a huge salad.”
“Because of his diet, John won’t look at bread. On the evening of our first night i’ll find myself ordering the sandwiches for the others and a salad for John, plus a couple a couple of meat sandwiches because I know what’s coming.”
“After about an hours drive, John begins to look at me apprehensively. He has hunger pains in his eyes! Finally when he is about to ‘break down,’ I reach into my valise and pull out the meat sandwiches. […] John takes the meat out of the sandwiches and eats every tiny sliver he can find. Then he stuffs the leftover slices of bread into a bag, which I take from him (so that he wont break down again and eat those).”
“[Johns] main complaint is ‘How come Paul never gains an ounce—and he eats twice as much as I do?’ […] John is sure some kind of curse is set on his head—or his stomach as it were!”
“[John] has two sets of suits. One is for when he is normal weight, and the other is for when he trims down on tour. The worst part is I have to take a set of each on tour—just incase he gains or loses.”
— The Beatles and Me! by Neil Aspinall, 1965
[My Note: To me, this article seems the most crucial piece of evidence suggesting John was struggling with an ED that Ive come across so far. We have a document, written in real time, reporting on John showing very clear ED behaviours. The article literally states, “he sticks to one meal a day”, and then goes on to elaborate on John’s “break downs”, or what I would say are clearly binges (some might define a binge as being food-indulgence to an excess, although in my opinion when it comes to ED’s binges are more about feeling a loss of control around food rather then the actual quantity).
Restrict/binge cycles I think generally get under-recognised by people, because the common perception of anorexics is that they never eat, and when they do eat, they eat very little. But I think the reality is, is that very few anorexics will tell you they never experience binge episodes; when you’re under-nourished, its the bodies immediate natural response, and inavoidable in the long run.
I think it’s just such a sad read to be honest, especially the line “he has hunger pains in his eyes!”, because he was literally inflicting torture onto himself, putting himself through all this pain when he didn’t need to.]
“When 'Help' came out in '65, I was actually crying out for help. Most people think it's just a fast rock 'n roll song. I didn't realise it at the time; I just wrote the song because I was commissioned to write it for the movie. But later, I knew I really was crying out for help. It was my fat Elvis period. You see the movie: He—I—is very fat, very insecure, and he's completely lost himself. And I am singing about when I was so much younger and all the rest, looking back at how easy it was. Now I may be very positive...yes, yes...but I also go through deep depressions where I would like to jump out the window, you know. It becomes easier to deal with as I get older; I don't know whether you learn control or, when you grow up, you calm down a little. Anyway, I was fat and depressed and I was crying out for help.”
— John Lennon interview w/ David Sheff, Playboy, 1980 (x)
[My Note: What I find most interesting here is the element of introspect John has within this interview, recognising in retrospect his own insecurity and hollowness during that period of his life. Also it touches on a point I will move onto later, in that his ED was probably might have been a manifestation of his own self-hate.
Also gives us insight into how much his own insecurities were really just in his own head, because very few people would have seen him as "very fat". Im aware our perceptions of fat/thin have changed a lot since the sixties, but even at the time, most people wouldn't have considered him overweight. I am also aware of the alleged "fat beatle" article that came out in 1965, but Ive been unable to locate an exact source for that, or a source in which John makes reference to it, so Im not sure how to feel about that. ]
“Poor old Orson [Welles], though, he was troubled. He goes on [The] Dick Cavett Show and he’s sort of ‘Please love me, I’m a big fat man now and I’ve eaten all this food and I did do well when I was younger and I can act, I can direct, and you’re all very kind to me but at the moment I don’t do anything.’”
— John Lennon interview w/ Jann Wenner, Lennon Remembers, Rolling Stone Magazine, 1970
[My Note: Anyone else getting a little sense of projection from this comment?]
“He was tired of being the fat Beatle. He was really in shape. We used to call John Skinny Head when he pulled his hair back in a ponytail and make his face look narrow. He did it that day for the video and he shouldn’t have. When he saw the results, he went crazy. He just hated it.”
— Jack Douglas, RecordCollectorMag (x)
[Jack] Douglas and Lennon would eat egg-whites. “He used to be the fat Beatle” that’s why there were egg-whites only Douglas explains
— Jack Douglas to NBC (x)
[My Note: Though not immediately suggestive that John was struggling with an ED, we aren’t looking at these things in isolation, were looking at the whole picture, and within that picture behaviours like this—minimising caloric intake, food “rules” that one must abide by—this does suggest an eating disorder.]
“January 15 1966. Wearing their swimming suits they paraded down the largely empty strip of sand and then sat on sun loungers while journalists posed rapid-fire questions. John hated the resulting photographs, because they revealed him to be flabby and overweight. As a result, he would lose fourteen pounds by the time of the summer tour.)”
— Beatles ’66 by Steve Turner (pg. 59)
[My Note: Turner is a questionable source here, in that Im unsure where he drew the information that John hated his appearance in the photographs from the holiday (not that I find this unlikely, but I haven’t found an external source stating that he did). But again, this aligns with his touring behaviours in Aspinalls writings in the previous extract, and as well with Johns 1980 comments.]
“After 28 straight days of shouting, screaming, sketching, and eating28 different colours of ice cream, John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s Primal Scream therapy sessions with Arthur Janov at this London offices are concluded. He recommends that the Lennons fly out to Los Angeles and resume their treatment at his Primal Institute Clinic in California.”
[…]
“[John] is now 28 lbs heavier than when he left England last April. When asked about this, John put this down to “eating 28 different colours of ice-cream” during his course of treatment with Janov.”
— The Beatles Diary Volume 2: After the breakup 1970-2002 by Keith Badman & Barry Miles
“It was all very well for the mind but for the body it was terrible. I wore the same clothes for two years. I had two things: a jump suit, one you do the plumbing in. I had two of them. That’s all I wore for almost two years. Janov was an idiot but he was not bad. His therapy was good. He was a pain in the neck.”
— John Lennon interview w/ Frances Schoenberger, A Day With John Lennon (c. 1975) (x)
[My Note: As aforementioned, I think at times John went through periods where his eating was disordered, though the eating disorder mentality wasn’t necessarily present, and this is what I would consider symptomatic of that. John evidently wasn’t eating well during this period of his life, but it seems an unhealthy habit rather then a period of binge eating.]
There's also the argument that Johns weight loss was in large part due to his drug usage, and I agree with that, especially when it comes to heroin since we closely associate the physical symptoms of that addiction with noticeable weight loss. But a theory that I also have on this is that John might have also been using drugs like LSD in order to lose weight during the mid-60s. Purely speculative, I know, but just a theory I have that I don’t think is inconceivable since LSD can cause a loss of appetite, disrupt eating patterns, and trigger binge eating episodes following a trip. Ive also heard of anorexics using it in order to suppress their appetites (in a similar vein to cigarettes being used as an appetite suppressant).
Something I didn’t discuss in my original post is the argument for John having had orthorexia, which is characterised by an excessive preoccupation with eating healthy food. Ive been discussing this very recently with @damapajaro, and they’ve sent me some interesting sources that would corroborate this. Here are some extracts they’ve sent me, and some Ive found on my own:
November, 1980. John & Yoko are putting the finishing touches on 'Double Fantasy.’ […] One thing troubled me during the all-night recording sessions: the way John would slip from time to time into an adjoining lounge. The first thing that came to mind was drugs, because I was so used to seeing musicians pass around bowls of cocaine with the casualness of M&Ms. John had had drug problems earlier in his life, and I feared he had relapsed—despite all his talk about feeling healthier than ever. Maybe the pressure of being back in the studio was greater than he was letting on. At one point, I happened into the lounge and saw John at the far end of the narrow room. He was reaching for something on a cabinet shelf, and my first instinct was to go back into the studio so I wouldn't violate his privacy. But he spotted me and called me over, putting his finger up to his lips in a signal to be quiet. When I was next to him, he reached into the cabinet again and pulled out something wrapped in a towel.
"Want some?" he asked. "Just don't tell Mother" he said with a conspiratorial look. "She doesn't want me doing this anymore." As he opened the towel, I had to laugh. John Lennon's private stash turned out to be a giant-size Hershey bar. He broke off a chunk for me and one for himself. Holding his piece in a toast, John smiled and said, "Good to see you again.”
— Cornflakes with John Lennon by Robert Hilburn
“And while I wasn’t able to resist the temptation of sweets, John stuffed himself with nuts. That’s how he kept that figure slim and healthy: fighting his appetite with sunflower seeds, peanuts, pistachios or figs. He always said that the seeds were the best for health.”
— At John Lennons House by Rosaura Lopez
January 12, 1976, Sloppy Louie’s, New York City
We all got into John and Yoko’s limo. “What would you like to eat?” I asked them.
“We’re only eating fish,” John replied.
I asked the driver to take us to the nearby Fulton Fish Market area on the East River. After a short drive, he stopped in front of Sloppy Louie's, an area landmark.
— Lennon, The Mobster & The Lawyer by Jay Bergen
As Nanny's son Mike Cadwallader remembers, they confined themselves to expressive looks when Yoko commandeered their kitchens to prepare John's macrobiotic meals, and to surreptitious tut-tutting to each other about his drastically changed appearance. I overheard a lot of “He can't just eat beans…needs a proper meal…he's fading away…he's all skin and bones. The comments weren't necessarily anti-Yoko or pro-Cynthia, but just anti-anyone who got their hands on one of “their” children. When Mike's girlfriend, Linda, produced a bag of jelly beans…John's dietary principles wavered.He grabbed them and scoffed quite a few before being told off, his cousin recalls.
— John Lennon: The Life by Phillip Norman (pg. 610)
“After both John and Yoko suffered a severe bout of gastric flu, [they] went on a liquids-only diet for 40 days. ‘John’s way of keeping on the diet was reading cook-books and fantasising about the recipes,’ Bon Gruen remembers.‘He channeled all his craving for food into these amazing fantasies of dishes he’d never heard of, learning how to prepare them and what’s good for you and what’s not. Up till then he’d always thought getting a bowl of corn flakes was cooking’…Tormented by scents of warm bread during his diet, he even tried his hand at baking.”
— John Lennon: The Life by Phillip Norman (pg. 768)
If you look at the ways in which Yoko also speaks about dieting, it seems she’s got some odd food mentalities as well, also suggestive of orthorexia:
John did not have an eating disorder. Sometimes he slipped and ate a bar of chocolate. His diets included vegetarian diet, macrobiotic diet and, very rarely a juice-only diet. All of the above are internationally approved health diets. — Yoko Ono to The Mirror, 2012 (x)
Its just a very strange outlook on food to have—to think that merely eating a chocolate bar, or “junk food”, is a mistake one has to recover from. All the different diets are also alarming; they might be internationally approved as being “health diets”, but as we understand from orthorexia, healthy doesn’t always mean healthy. Again, in my opinion when it comes to eating disorders it’s always more about the mentality than anything else.
There also seemed to have been an element of enabling one-another’s bad habits here, especially in that Yoko was often controlling what John ate: “She doesn't want me doing this anymore.”…John Lennon's private stash turned out to be a giant-size Hershey bar; John's dietary principles wavered. He grabbed them and scoffed quite a few before being told off, his cousin recalls. Through Yoko, John found someone to encourage this issue, and this probably worsened the food-problems in that they were now being validated as "healthy"—or on the other hand, when he broke "food-rules" he was being "told off" for being unhealthy—ultimately perpetuating the pre-existent issue.
Her own relationship with food might also help us to understand why she-herself can’t recognise Johns ED. If Yoko can’t understand that her own intense dieting might be disordered in some ways, then it’s unlikely she’d be able to recognise that for another individual.
So what prompted John to begin developing an eating disorder?
The obvious response to this is the ubiquitous: eating disorders are about control. When the eating disorder behaviours first started to take over (circa 1965), John had experienced an almost incomparable amount of fame. No ones surprised when a female celebrity reveals she’s struggled with an eating disorder, because being under public scrutiny for such an amount of time would unsurprisingly make you vulnerable to that—and the same seems applicable to John.
But I think as well it was probably a subconscious way in which a lot of his own self-hate manifested. Paul stated in an interview:
McCartney is quoted as telling Billboard: “[John] didn’t say, ‘I’m now fat and I’m feeling miserable.’ He said, ‘When I was younger, so much younger than today.’ In other words, he blustered his way through. We all felt the same way.”
“Looking back on it, John was always looking for help. He had [a paranoia] that people died when he was around. His father left home when John was three, the uncle he lived with died in later, then his mother died. I think John’s whole life was a cry for help.”
— Paul McCartney in interview with Billboard (x)
It’ll come as a surprise to no one for me to say that John struggled with intense insecurities for the majority of his life, and so for him to use his physical appearance as a vessel to channel all his self-hate would make sense. As Jack Douglas said, ‘he was tired of being the fat Beatle’: tired of being judged, disliked, scrutinised. Or, thats my speculation at least.
Conclusion:
I don’t know the extent to which John struggled with an eating disorder/disordered eating, although it was a pretty well-documented issue of his.
To me it seems the initial problem was binging, which then turned into restriction/anorexia as a response to “fix” his weight gain, and then a restrict/binge cycle.
In later years, I think he probably still struggled with this to some degree, although I think the issue became less about how much the food intake was, and more about what the intake was—effectively meaning, I think his anorexia unravelled into orthorexia. There was likely an element of enabling one another’s behaviours between John and Yoko here, and Yoko's own relationship with food likely encouraged John's pre-existing unhealthy patterns and mentalities.
I don’t think his eating disorder was prevalent at all times, since theres plenty of examples of John eating pretty normally with others, but that his eating disorder didn’t exist all of the time doesn’t really negate the argument that it did exist, because eating disorders aren’t necessarily linear. A person can go through countless phases of relapses and recovery throughout their life.
Anyway, as I say, Im constantly coming across new little pieces of evidence on this subject, so this post is far from comprehensive. But these are all some of the key things that immediately came to mind for me! If anyone has any further thoughts they’d like to share lmk :)
#cw eating disorders#lol im glad you like my opinions anon#even if ive taken 2 days to respond ://///#johns psyche#john lennon ED#beatles#beatles psychology#john and yoko#asks#anon#john lennon#beatles books#quotes
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Anons ✨
#lou tisdale anon: unconventional way to get informed i guess but if it worked good for them#‘I’ve really appreciated all of the information you’ve been sharing on here’ anon#a bit offensive you come at me talking about coincidental choices and intentional decisions#using your building as a reference… Guys cmon. At this point you should know im not stupid lol anyway I deleted the tags because#since I noticed a few people have written the same thing as you#usually the background choice falls in an intentional decision but as you say it’s a wild guess#that’s why I only said ‘I hope it’s not intentional if it is yikes’#‘don’t have any doubts about harry’ anon: we’ll never know what they support#and for once I’m glad they won’t be speaking up like their usual because#I’m already disappointed of what side they would be on this#have you seen what his friends share? have you seen what his mom shares? they can be zionist on main without ripercussions#‘seriously wouldn’t know what to if he supported them’ I would unstan right away. god thing is they’ll never be talking about politics#(except Harry sporadically finding new way to have kore people register in the us to vote democrats#and eventually forget about what is happening in rest of the world. firstly like all celebrities do secondly like everyone does.)#you take care of your little garden first#my opinion my ideology and my political view don’t depend on them#if I don’t agree with what some artist/celebrity says#ill stop interacting with them#there’s tone of music and art being made by people#who care about the world and want to see people leaving in peace and with equal rights#it’s not hard to be human you know? at times if you’re afraid to show support to the oppressed#you’re helping the oppressors with oppression and segregation#moreover when the oppression is not about you in the slightest (general you not you anon)#it only means 1. you don’t care enough to advocate 2. you have found different solutions to help (lol)#3. you don’t want to take sides (inferno canto III for me)#4. you don’t want to let know what side you’re on (sigh)
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My reaction when reading the second comment by anon 🤣
OOT: gawdd I wish I can laugh as elegant and beautiful as this man!!!
Back to topic: I wasn't aware of this comment till I opened my inbox but I read anon's other comments in my other fics and I get that they meant well. While I sorta get where they're coming from for this one cz in fact this isn't the 1st time someone had pointed out a similar thing to me, and despite that this is not my ship, let's remember that it's basic decency not to trash others' ships or preferences, let alone others' works 😊 Besides, my work is mine, my headcanons are mine, free from others' influences. I couldn't care less how most of this ship's fans wanted them to be/perceived. It's got nothing to do w/ me so don't associate me or my fic to whoever or any other aspects in that ship. I wrote whatever my brain wanted. And remember that curiosity kills the cat, which is why if I were anon I'd never bother to look at tags or things that I dislike lmao
#but you just gave me the laugh of the day anon lol it's my 1st time receiving compliment for my work in this sort of passive-aggresive tone#and I understood your intention so thanks for your concern#not even sure if you follow me here but I put my tumblr on all my works so just a chance....im too lazy to reply there cz I wanted to use#my gorgeous shu reaction for this lmao#fic writing#also please explain to me like im a 5 year old what defines normal ship? 🤣#despite it all im glad you seem to like my characterization of noritoshi and choso... esp for choso... in my other fics as well...#tho everyone is entitled to their opinion it might be better not to be too blunt in public comment as they might offend certain ppl lol
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World building; scents for Deep Down !
You can find the masterlist for Deep Down right here > ☆
"happy new year calli! i’m really enjoying deep down as i am “thee biggest a/b/o enjoyer” and i have spent at least every other minute of my life since you posted it thinking about it. i wanted to ask if you could describe each of the members and oc’s scents, since scents are such a cool part of abo world building and it’s another thing i can bounce around in my brain hehe" — asked anon !!
Hi Noni!! Thank you for the new year wishes, and happy New Year to u !!! I'm happy to see my fic runs rent-free in ur mind skawjdj I'm so glad to grant your request cause I've been meaning to write a full detail explanation of the scents for our precious boys and reader !!!! So here it is !! Also pardon how messy this isss. Also im sorry i had to redo your request tumblr messed up the aesthetic and it was an eye sore. I hope you find this tho! —calli
To get started, I have mentioned on occasion their scents, especially in the "Why didn't you answer my calls?" Chapter. Recently, I've kinda been neglecting the scents and scenting in the story, sorry !! Hopefully, this makes up for it until I get the next chapter out. P.s. these are my personal opinions on how the guys would smell in my fic!
The whole "alphas having more masculine scents" really don't apply to ateez imo for some of them. Musky alphas are seen as the most desirable cause it means they're tough and strong and have the capability to fight if needed. (It's very old-fashioned and inaccurate now, although different throughout the world in deep down) so ateez being the softest of alphas is really my agenda here. No matter their scent. They can be rough if need-be.
P.SH. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Seonghwa— "He smells like leather, dark coffee, and vanilla cream." end quote. Like fresh leather from the dealer, a timeless classic you'll smell in any brand new car. I'm not saying he smells like a car, just the comfort of new leather seats, lol. Or a leather jacket from the thrift store or- or- an expensive clothing rack. Something about seonghwa has me feeling this way, I don't know exactly what it is, but it just makes me think, "Yeah, I can see seonghwa smelling like leather" and coffee- I don't remember if he enjoys coffee much, but the thought of seonghwa smelling like dark roast, just reminds me of him being in the kitchen making a coffee for himself whilst he finishes up breakfast for the two of you— all domestic and providing like an alpha prefers, especially an alpha like seonghwa. And the vanilla cream could be taken as vanilla creamer from the store or creamer you both made in the comfort of your home. Grading the vanilla beans and mixing it into a concoction, seonghwas hand slapping against his mouth and laughing at the mess on your hands. —the coffee and the vanilla is also a hint to his perfume "black opium." There's also hints of white florals in there and a herbal shampoo that he uses. He smells so pretty, but also, it really is gender neutral.
A bit nsfw- but when it comes to kissing and sex. His scent enhances x 1000(that goes for all of them). The overwhelming taste of sweet vanilla on his tongue and the deep way it lingers in your mouth. Or the way if he's sweating, the leather smell will get deeper and more fresh. The coffee and florals are a middle ground when it comes to his scent, just there under the surface when he's calm and collected. I see the coffee coming to surface more when he's sleeping, his skin covered in the scent of dark roast, so it's easy to tell when he wakes up, cause it shifts and slowly washes away to a more floral garden-ey smell, just as his eyes flutter open. His herbal shampoo lingering on his hair, which is the most distant scent overall. Cause the only time you'll smell it intensely is when he showers. It'll overpower all his fresh scents as soon as he steps out of the bathroom. And immediately be buried and pushed down 30 minutes later.
K.HJ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Hongjoong —"Hongjoong smells.. like a ripe pear, tahitian vanilla, the heat from the sun, and sweet spices." End quote. Somehow, I feel as if I made hongjoong smell like an actual pirate captain. Like he smells tropical and sea-like. Tahitian vanilla is one of the rarest in the world, so it makes sense that joongie has that scent. It's deep and rich, and it enhances everything it's combined with. With also the hint of caramel under it, something that takes a good hard smell to recognize. So the combination of sweet spices and vanilla would be oh so prominent on joong every day. The scent of pear lingers under his skin, just under those spices and vanilla. His pear scent smells a little sour- like the fruit isn't ripe when he's upset. Have you ever smelt the heat from the sun as well? If you haven't, then the next part will definitely be confusing. But his actual skin lingers with it, warm and comfortable and inviting. Perfect to rest on as if you're genuinely resting under the sun. He'll radiate warmth when you sleep on him. It'll feel like the sun is kissing your skin.
Unlike seonghwa, hongjoong's combination of scents are always on his skin, they don't fight to be the first one you can smell, a little more prominent in different parts of him, but they work together to create the perfect blend. As well as when he kisses, the first thing you'll always get is the sweetest taste of a pear, powered by the tone of slowly sweetening vanilla the more he leans into the kiss and explores. And when it comes to sweating, the spices definitely come through. Dripping off his skin and lingering on the thing he uses to wipe it away, making the alpha seem a bit more handsome when he does. He radiates all of his scents so well.
J.YH. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Yunho— "You know exactly who it is. The whiff of vanilla and sandalwood following." End Quote. Scrap that, yunho doesn't smell like that (can you tell I love vanilla). To base directly off the smell of his Eau De Toilette scent —his signature scent - rather than perfume because he doesn't like strong smells apparently— his scent is very light and inviting. Completely open and welcoming. Woodsy fruity scent. Sandalwood, freesia, notes of lime, and green apple. I can see yunho smelling like wood. An earthy aroma with hints of sweet, smoky undertones when he wakes for the day, clinging on his shoulders and following his sleepy body wherever it goes until he's awake enough. It then subtly rubs off and is mixed with sandalwood, most noticeable, the scent of amber, and then it leaning into freesia. Freesia smelling like fresh strawberries (just the tiniest bit) and as he goes about his day, small, almost unnoticeable bits of lime on his fingertips and green apple lingering under his clothing. It's like he has layers. And yet he doesn't smell very strong. An uncommon trait for alphas. It means he's secure in his identity, perfectly capable of being the alpha he knows he can be, so his scent is perfectly made for him.
His attitude is the type to change with his scent, changing and pushing a certain one out depending on his mood. Lime fronting when he's being mischievous. Freesia when he's being lovey dovey or affectionate. And the smell of smokey (almost burning) wood when he's tired or upset, Green apple is the middle ground for when he's casually being himself, calm and collected. There's always something to differentiate the scent between his feelings and attitude. Even if it's the most subtle change.
K.YS. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Yeosang — "The deepest scents you can pick out are cocoa butter and honeyed citrus, like lemonade. There's the distant scent of strong tea." End Quote. Cutting half this off, and adding this up with his perfume scent(oud wood). Yeosang would smell like cocoa butter, beeswax, warm wood (cedar), earthy tea like herbs, and rosewood, definitely with some musky and not too strong undertones. It's a perfect combination of soft and strong. Just like yeosang. His scent is deep and warm. Imagining his skin smells like this as he goes to caress your cheek - I'd die. The woody scents stick to his clothes while his skin smells more like cocoa butter and beeswax. Earthy tones lingering on both. The woody scent sticking to his clothing is more likely to come from his scent glands or his sweat. It's just essence on him.
His skin will always smell like cocoa butter. As well as him having a honey citrus undertone, It's as if he's trying to bring a cute bee to pollinate him. I see omegas really loving his scent. Perfect for an alpha who's soft and caring but can also switch up if he needs to. But his scent being more unisex is what really sells it for me. Despite how musky the woodsy scent can be. The honey, cocoa, and even the smallest hint of citrus under the earthy tones accompanying him can hide how intense the musk can get. As well as when he sweats- and when he does- those musky woody smells come to front, dripping off his skin and making him seem more masculine than intended. And as soon as he's cleaned up it's like he's back to smelling androgynous. There's honey on his lips, and his tongue tastes like- god, it's so hard to explain, but y'know when you get that essence of bitter burnt wood ? Something along those lines but more pleasant. You can either hate or love it but it's addictive either way.
(God, I love yeosang,, please let me have him at some point, or I will curl over and melt into the floor like the monster in the thing.)
C.S. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
I have no quotes about sannies scent :( so to start from scratch. Sanie smells very complex, more so than anyone in the group. Musky and masculine, borderline like spicy rum, bergamot, sweet black plum, ylang ylang, black truffle, with hints of chocolate, woody patchouli and creamy orange so his scent isn't so strong and overpowering. San might have the most masculine scent overall, it can hardly be considered unisex in a/b/o universe but here I am saying oh yes, it is, in fact, unisex. And it lingers the most. His scent, just like his personality, can be overpowering depending on his attitude and confidence. Say on stage, the black truffle, rum, and bergamot come forth to shine. Addicting on skin, drawing most in. His scent can be almost like an aphrodisiac. Anyway, it's almost like his second gender is trying to counteract that with heavily sweet scents. Chocolate and creamy orange. Like a creamsicle on a hot day, or chocolate to satiate the need for some sweets. It's like his skin is trying to produce the most sensual and alluring scent. I see him smelling the most heavy on the masculine scents in bed (iykyk) or performing and the softest of his scents when he's doing aftercare or more domestic things.
There is no middle ground because all of his scents and all of the combinations happen to be that middle ground, more masculine though. He started off with the orange and chocolate being more fronting earlier in their career, and as san bulked up I can see his scent changing. Like his second gender knew he was becoming sculpted to the heavens the more time went on. Don't get me started on the way his mouth tastes, cause that, in itself, is also an aphrodisiac. Creamy and yummy and all so consuming on your senses the more you sink into him.
(Perfect time to hint at the idea of san being a “true” alpha)
S.MG. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Mingi — “missing the smell of sea salt and jasmine.” End Quote. Mingi smelling like sea salt, jasmine, ambrette seed, woody sage, citrus-ey mint. Earthy and mineral. It's not that his scent is lackluster. It's just that it's perfectly mingi. Like a breeze by the ocean that flows through the surrounding trees. Or a morning spent in a hotel room just off the beach. Fruity, and sweet on the surface with the deep nutty and musk to back it up. To explain in detail over how mingi smells sweet when he's being the cutest most lovable puppy, with the occasional hint of nutty to make you realize this big puppy can be a complete alpha when need be. His undertones being the main capturing thing about mingi. White Musk, and woody. Minerals layered on top, followed by the smell of the sea salt, mint and citrus. And lastly the sweet, rich and sensual smell of jasmine to completely wash it all to a gentle tone that can make you forget the aphrodisiac like smell he has under all of it. I don't see mingi getting upset often as an alpha. So his hard scents don't come through unless he's genuinely pissed off (which makes even the most secure of alphas kinda crumble from how strong he smells ngl).
Mingi in the sheets can go either way. Gentle mornings of his sweet scent lingering under his skin and the nutty fresh scent on his more prominent features. (His jaw, his nose, his Adam's apple, his abs- etc) his soft skin is more likely to be coated in the softness of his smell, like his cheeks, his lips, his fingertips. And when he's on stage?? God his scent is also an aphrodisiac along with his aura, just like san, they can be sirens on stage just based on their smells luring everyone in. The mint and citrus coming to front the cheekier he gets.
J.WY. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
I also don't have a quote for wooyoung wtf. I can see wooyoung definitely having a musky powdery scent, his musk isn't super prominent, it's under the surface, he's not pushing out masculinity. woody, Iris and roses and floral, he smells very flowery, heavy on the rose plus pink pepper! And even the smell of creamy coconut. And fig bitterness. Creamy coconut on his fingertips. Bitter fig with his attitude, and flirty pink pepper comments. His attitude is always shifting and so is his scent, attempting to push one more than the other. So it's hard to grasp how he's feeling based on his scent- which is very commonly used to check. It's like his scent is always being mixed and interchanged. There's no touching on the specifics on what comes to front most often. But since wooyoung is a very flirty and playful guy(especially with you) most of the time it's roses, pink pepper, and fig, with the tiniest deep down smell of a campfire.
With every passing day it's like he's a combination of new scents. One or the other taking charge that day. It doesn't mean he's unstable, it just means he's comfortable, and that's just how it works for his second gender. He's also a fan favorite of omegas, the rose and sweet flowery esk smell makes people swoon, as if wooyoung is walking passion. I can see others being more surprised by his scent when he's introduced to people. It's almost a contrast to everyone else.
C.JH. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Jongho — “Laundry, florals, all consuming” End Quote. shut up cause I'm so fr when I say jongho smells like fresh laundry. His scent is very herbal, a classical woodsy and wilderness scent. Full of moss and tree bark. He might genuinely smell more like sunflowers and dried seeds, and even bergamot and chamomile. Paired along with like a fresh sheet or the thought of going on a picnic. I see him being more in tune with his scent when he's outside more. If he's inside most days he smells more like earthy stones and laundry detergent. He's just very natural in his earthy smell. And then there's some orange blossom and natural cinnamon in there which is such a sweet note on his skin. In his gentleness you can always feel how calm his scent makes you. Then in his more chaotic, mischievous moments he smells like fig and woods- a bit more musky. Sunflowers more often in the morning, along with the scent of nature when he gets out of the shower, he just smells sooooo good like the ground after rain or a cottage with soft fabrics on a hanger outside. Maybe, if he's upset, you'll get the scent of oakmoss. Under it all, is definitely allspice. If you've got a keen nose you'll definitely notice the cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg lingering on his sweaty skin. Especially when he's performing, it might surprise you when it comes out of nowhere, but it's very pleasant and suiting for him.
And his kisses are exactly like french toast- cinnamon and orange blossom, a tasty mixture thanks to the lingering taste of everything edible in his bergamot scent, it makes kissing him feel like a taste testing competition. Switching you every which way between the two competitive tastes on your tongue. His arms are heavy with the woody scent when he wraps them around you. I can see his muscular bits smelling more like woodsy, outdoor musk. And his softer features smell like laundry, sunflowers, bergamot and chamomile.
Reader. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Beta!reader —”Distant Vetiver. Soft Pumpkin. ambrette, and morning rain. He didn't know morning rain could smell like anything, but it's you.” End Quote. Vetiver smells warm, dry, and earthy, very forest-y. For some reason I imagined the reader smelling like fall when she was a beta. Morning rain !! It can either be comforting or sad, as most of the time the reader spent with the boys she was upset at herself for not being able to get rid of her crush on them. So the morning rain became apparent in her signature scent. And with pumpkin, it's just a very comforting scent in general to pair with her second gender. I didn't do much thinking when it came to her scent. Ambrette also smells foral-musky.
Omega!Reader —now, I'm leaving it up to you to decide what she smells like as an omega. I have hinted at her smelling sweet though but that's about it(I think). What I imagine her smelling like (this is my personal opinion) she smells like milk chocolate covered toffee —toffee more often than not- gets wedged in your teeth and I can just imagine the reader wedging herself into people's thoughts, especially as an omega. You all see how whipped the guys are for her, and I'm not saying it's just because of her second gender. But maybe how sweet they are to her hints at how her scent is very intoxicating and encouraging. Making them want to be the best alphas for her. She's like a butterfinger lol. I could also see her scent smelling like a strawberry shortcake or cheesecake. Y'know in the Simpson movie how Ned makes the hot coco drink for bart? Imagine that but how the reader smells lmao. So I'm imagining the reader smells like a hot coco, layered with strawberry shortcake and toffee. It's honestly as sweet and yummy as it gets. Even if any of the guys aren't sweet lovers, they'll definitely love what she's serving.
Anyway that's about it! I'm very grateful for this request I had a blast.
#ateez a/b/o au#ateez x female reader#a/b/o dynamics#a/b/o verse#a/b/o au#alpha ateez#deep down#seventhcallisto
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You hit the nail on the head! I‘ll ask for more professional assessment: honest opinion on Crystal?
Following on from my ramblings about Sally Park. Oops! Edited to add in Zoe too.
Well written female characters in Lookism? Uhh...
When the bar is at an all time low, it's really not hard to step over it.
At this point, I've been pavloved to think that any female character that expresses a personality trait other than 'simp' is pretty good. Simp is fun when it's part of a list of characteristics (Zack, Ryuhei). Not so much when it's the only thing.
Long live PTJ, the greatest feminist. Anyway.
Female characters I like
Mary Kim
Love her. Empress of 2 seconds. Queen of my heart.
Surprisingly kept a platonic relationship with Vin Jin, showing quite a healthy mixed gender friendship. Sassy and smart. Loyal. Good taste in men (Jace). Is shown having a life and interests outside of a man.
On my hands and knees praying that PTJ doesn't ruin her. Kinda glad she hasn't appeared in a while so she is kept away from his incessant need to turn everyone into a love interest.
Lua Im
Once we got over the odd Johan panels, which I heard the Korean audience didn't like and I'm quite happy about, she's fine. And it's not that I care that much about Johan staying a single dog-dad, I just needed a coherent reasoning/build up why they would be interested in one another.
Lua has potential.
Sourcing intel, even impressing the likes of Gun? A little Muay Thai knowledge? Jake and Jerry scared of her? Lol. Ok. Good. Let's build on this.
Just please don't white knight her.
Crystal Choi (meh)
And Ms. Choi, because anon specifically asked. I really don't mind her? I know she's meant to be anti-Lookism but still judges people based on their looks eh. That's fine. Pretty realistic actually. Whatever.
She can be a bit bitchy for no reason. So can I. Handwaving all that.
What I do take issue with though, is her so called title of Business Genius. Please show me the chapter where she actually does something to earn that title besides the one where other people ooh-ed and aah-ed over her in the meeting with DG.
Wow she's sooooo gorgeous. Ok good for her. If that's the route they're taking her character then at least OWN. THAT. SHIT. Use her beauty and looks to sign deals and get what she wants. GOOD. DO IT.
Zoe Park (also meh... Wait)
Sorry anon, I think 'really well written' is a bit of a reach... She does have some decent character development, starting as quite a flighty, shallow girl and then showing that she has a heart of gold, liking both Daniels and. Huh.
Wait. You're right. She is pretty well written. She's selfless and kind and loyal to her friends, putting up with Logan's bullshit. There's enough of a character arc for her from the Zoe we're introduced to at first.
And I do like that she's good at maths too.
Wasted potential
Minseong Kang (Jake's momma)
Appreciate this is the older generation and from a much more conservative culture. Saying that, I am so over the slighted and bitter housewife rotting at home while her big powerful husband cheats on her.
And then some sort of marriage redemption cos they pop out a kid. Whatever. (Sorry Jake bb, I love you).
If you were going to do that, give me the most toxic red flag shit where they are constantly at each other's THROATS. Show me how they are equals. Can't live with or without one another. That's the good kinda shit.
Leonn Lee
I just. What the fuck was this.
A girl in Burn Knuckles? A group that reeks of testerone and (positive) masculinity? Show us why she joined! Show us why she stays. SURPRISE. Main character trait?? Having a crush on Vasco.
She could have been SO interesting. And she obviously trains, why not get her to fight?
Hate for irrational reasons
Joy Hong
Listen, she's not really in enough or significant enough for me to really feel one way or another about her. BUT. The reason I HATE her is because I was trying to write a headcanon involving everyone and then I got to Joy and I was STUMPED.
Sub in a plank of wood, and it would have the same depth of personality.
Truly. Who is she apart from Jay's sister and a Daniel simp? At least everyone else has something.
Others
I don't really think about them. Sera Shin has potential I guess.
And of course a special mention to Daniel's momma. She's not exactly a unique character, but who doesn't love her?
LET. THEM. FIGHT.
Lastly. Why can't we see women fight? Like the men's fights are realistic LOL. Ultra instinct? Smashing through walls? So why are women fighting men outside the realms of this.
And yes yes. Men are SoOoOoOo strong. But can they take a kick to the balls?
Are you saying Gun Park has been training his dick and balls and would be able to eat a hit there? He wouldn't go down like a heap of shit??
HUH. TELL ME THAT.
In Summary
Mary by and large is pretty well written. Lua has improved.
I don't care much about anyone else.
And I wanna see Gun, Goo, Sammy, Vin etc. get kicked in the balls in a fight.
#is this my most disjointed rambling yet? quite possibly#if you made it to the end you sincerely deserve a medal#sorry if i've completely forgotten about any female character development loooool my bad#and sorry every time I refer to the women as females it makes me feel incel-y#lookism#lookism manhwa#lookism webtoon#lua im#mary kim#crystal choi#leonn lee#minseong kang#joy hong#wannaeatramyeon
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I can’t believe I found people who think about this the exact same way as I do. I don’t get these hardcore buddie stans who suddenly try to make it look like buckTommy shipper are the toxic ones. I haven’t seen a single BuckTommy shipper who was rude without a reason (maybe a bit defensive about their CANON ship). Whereas I’ve seen plenty of incredibly toxic buddie stans who insult everyone who doesn’t ship their ship or share their opinions.
Another thing and don’t get me wrong Im not defending anyone. But I’ve seen many people heavily bullying the marisol actress because she’s apparently homophobic (not saying she isn’t or is) and wanting her to be gone beacause of this reason but totally ignore the alleged racism of ryan (again not saying he is racist or not, i dont know them personally) just because he is part of their beloved ship. By their logic Ryan should leave the show too.
Hey anon, it took me some time to answer your ask (chaotic life stuff lol) but I’m glad to finally have time to talk about this first part with you.
I’ll preface by saying I won’t get involved in actor drama, no matter how true or toxic it is because I don’t have enough information nor am I qualified to talk about the issues they mishandled. I’ll just say that, no matter who does bad things, they should be held accountable.
Okay, back to the main point: yes, it’s very strange how b*ddie st*ns are behaving towards the canon bi!buck thing. Both with people who ship bucktommy but also with the creators and actors on the show. Regardless if they are right or not about b*ddie being canon, this is not how you act with entertainment, specially with the people giving the content.
I hate to bash but it looks and sounds a lot like a toddler throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get a specific toy.
And toddlers only throw tantrums because they are brand new humans who are learning how to behave. They don’t know any better so they react with outbursts and repeated demands because it’s the only way they know to get the attention of the person taking care of them.
If I’m not mistaken, the main audience for the show is 18-45. NO ONE here should be yelling in comment sections “we want buddie! we want buddie! we want buddie!” as if they would immediately get it. It’s not how it works and it’s frankly embarrassing to see a bunch of adults acting like that for everyone to see.
And I can’t stress it enough, I’m not putting myself on a high ground here and saying I’m a better person by shipping bucktommy, as I’m sure there might be a percentage of fans out there being rude and annoying as well. But at least I’m keeping my conscience clear by not acting like me shipping two characters is something big enough in my life to ruin my enjoyment of a whole show in case my favorite ship doesn’t become canon.
I hate how fandoms behave as if they can have control over the content they are consuming. We aren’t entitled to anything and if there is supposed to be ANY discourse about which character was supposed to end with, that should happen AFTER the show ended! The story isn’t over yet! So why are b*ddie st*ns so stressed? If a show is making you this angry and demanding, please step aside a little, give it some distance because that’s not how consuming content is supposed to make you feel.
And I say that last part with sincerity because I too got way too involved with fandom discourse in the past, to the point that I had to distance myself from certain shows because being that involved made me upset.
Im just tired at this point you know. Im trying to protect myself as much as possible. Im not in the bird app, I don’t follow the show or the actors on social media, im avoiding interviews like the plague. All I want from this experience is to watch the show, gather my thoughts, form my opinions, log onto tumblr and reblog the cute stuff I see about my favorite ship without having to worry about whatever the hell is going on outside my pretty little bubble
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Anon from before talking about how my opinion of goldie soured for a bit! (im gonna start marking my anons with something so i dont have to do this every time lol)
Yeah no i wasn’t saying it should be written differently or anything! You write really well and your characters are extremely believable. Its good writing! I was mostly just voicing my opinions for discussions sake, like how I would in comments on deviantART or comicfury or something. That’s the same for every time I make a comment about something the characters did- I know it’s hard to discern tone or intent over the internet though 😔 boils down to “fantastic writing, i want to put goldie and scorch in a jar and rattle them around for a bit”
Unfortunately Goldie can be a pushover when it comes to Scorch, and with the way Scorch treats people it creates a pretty unhealthy dynamic in regards to conflict like this. I sympathize with how Scorch’s life has been Shitty Bad and Awful™️ but I really really think she needs to work on herself before she actually engages in any sort of serious romantic relationship.
And again I don’t necessarily think Goldie and Scorch should be banned from mushy behavior in front of Yarrowshade (they basically live in the same house so that would be hard lol) it was just Scorch’s attitude towards him and then her turning around and acting like that with Goldenstar that made me mad. It was just evidence she was being petty for petty’s sake instead of actually being hurt or upset. Pretty worried about what kind of values she’s going to instill in her apprentice tbh!!!
Again fantastic writing A+++. People are messy and I like how you write that!! I actually have notifs on for this blog and I usually drop everything to check it when a new post shows up!
-🍡 (this works as good as anything I guess 😂)
Hey, thanks for reaching out again. Definitely didn't mean to imply I thought you were trying to say I should write differently although I totally see how my response came off that way. My bad!
I'm glad you want to engage in discussion about my characters cause I LOVE engaging in that too!
And yeah, Scorch probably shouldn't be in a relationship right now. Sadly it's very common for people to enter relationships when they aren't ready for it. Hopefully Goldie is a bigger influence on her than she is on Goldie. Also, well noted, it is going to be interesting to see what kind of influence Scorch has on Fogpaw.
Something I do want to point out is that between Scorch making Yarrowshade apologize and she and Goldie being all mushy, there is an unspecified amount of time where Yarrowshade tells a funny story and the cats talk and joke and walk. I feel like that makes it slightly less insensitive. But yeah, you're right. Scorch is being petty and she knows it. She thinks as much in the piece where she's taken away, acknowledging that what she wants - to be chosen every time no matter what - is selfish and unreasonable. Not to excuse the behavior of course, just wanting to discuss it, like you said ^w^
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On a lighter note, I'd love to hear your rant about tone tags!! I actually always debate whether I should put them or not when sending asks to you lol... I personally use them often because my friend group is all kinds of neurodivergent and I'm happy to make life easier for them (and myself, let's be real, I'm a chronic overthinker), but I'm curious to see your take on it, I just think it'd be neat to hear a different opinion <3
— 🐾
youtube
this youtube video does a better time at explaining my issues with tone indicators than i will ever do myself, i think. though i will preface this by saying that im glad tone indicators help a lot of people! if they're useful to you, then absolutely use them to your benefit.
they are at my detriment though. i both hate using them and having others use them for me. not that im mad at the anon who did use them, i've never spoke about this before so it's not like they'd know :D
tone indicators aren't very standardized, and meanings differ from person to person i've found. its difficult for me, someone with autism, to learn and remember, in part due to how everyone treats it differently, and also in part because they're so vast; there's just so many of them! communication is already difficult for me, especially online, so adding an extra layer of tone indicators makes me want to rip my hair out in frustration.
for myself, i much prefer people just talk to me without indicators. if i struggle to pick up on the tone, please trust that i will ask. at least allow me that. though if you absolutely feel like it's necessary to indicate something, then i prefer something like: (genuine) / (sarcastic) / (light-hearted) / (derogatory) / etc. writing the whole word out as your intention helps me understand a whole lot more than a single letter ever would.
and that's not through sheer ignorance. like i've tried learning and using tone indicators because some of my friends found them helpful, but i ended up confused and annoyed. like for example, i don't know if that "/s" the anon sent me meant sarcastic or serious, leading to what could have otherwise been a straight forward and understood message now being lost and confusing.
also some of them are stupid. i always read /pos as /piece of shit. /hyp is read as HYPE and not hyperbole to me. /dr means don't reply, but that's not a tone? its just extra effort for my autism to interact with when i'm already having to exert extra effort to have a conversation as an autistic person. y'know? that which is meant to help me is hurting me.
but again, please don't take my own personal views as an overarching criticism. i understand that tone indicators help a lot of people, and i think that's really cool. i just personally can't stand them when it comes to myself.
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Idk what discourse you are seeing I just know I’m glad it’s not me seeing it 😭 but you’re right that what I’ve seen has been sooo biowarepilled. god forbid I don’t conform to the masses in a roleplaying game 🙄 anyways I’m here for u bestie. Holding ur hand while we wish death to fandom
-fuckitwebhaal
ive had anons ask me about astarions quest and the dark parts of it in graphic detail and how i Personally feel about it.. all uncensored and very triggering, ive had them asking me if i agree with people being threatened and harassed for their opinions (on the side of agreeing with it) including asking if i think people getting astarion scar tattoos are evil terrible people who deserve hate?, ive had people try to bait me into talking about astarions racism and calling HALSIN racist and asking me to agree and comment like i'm any authority on these things as a white person, ive had people try to bait me into talking about karlach face discourse when that was everywhere, ive had people tell me im a r*tard for my opinions on astarions quest (that people can do whatever they want in the video game lol), and told to kms for the exact same opinion, AND MORE! the discourse i'm seeing be the anons in my askbox L;DKJFSDL;FKS my astarion hate and me pushing away astarion fans comes from a place of absolute fear because they've been utter terrors to me <3
sometimes i see mutuals comment on discourse they've seen or respond to baiting asks they've gotten too, and that alone tires me out, even if i completely agree with them or they're telling people to shut up and be normal. i'm just tired <3 i don't want any of it anymore
holding ur hand.. please save me
#fray.txt#ask#transprincecaspian#i get told to turn my anon off but i dont wanna lol#i just wanna be left alone i dont wanna have to read this bs#and my mutuals who receive it are usually content creators/gifmakers with XXXX followers so like#its clear it comes from a place of bait#trying to get large accounts to start shit#as a XXXX account too with this url i assume its the same for me as well
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what are some of ur fav vocaloid producers and/or songs that use unique tuning rather than going for a more natural human-esque voice?
ANON HI HI HI ILY!!!! im so glad u sent this ask :)))))
im putting the recs under a readmore bc it got really long loll
ok so first up is producer recs!
Syudou- syudou is the producer who directly inspired the post i made about tuning (which is im assuming why u sent this ask lol)! the way he tunes vsynths for his songs tend to be very high-pitched as well as somewhat soft and quiet, which i absolutely adore. however, his unique tuning can be pretty offputting for some people (cough cough the insane amount of hate ive seen for jackpot sad girl & usseewa voca versions cough cough). if youre looking for good, unique tuning id defo say check out his stuff if u havent! specific recs are cute na kanojo and jackpot sad girl
Guchiry- guchiry is one of my all-time favourite producers, and has some of the most unique tuning for vocaloids ive heard. guchiry also usually goes for a high-pitched sound, but it's in a very different way. honestly, the way he tunes is kind of hard for me to describe?? idk... its definitely the type of vocals that a human could never replicate (this is proven by the fact that there's almost no human covers of guchiry songs LMAO). plus the way he tunes works extremely well with the intense, fast-paced instrumentals he usually goes for. honestly you'll just have to take my word for it and check out his stuff. specific recs are vanish and orthodoxia
Ayase- ayase's miku is one of my favourites ever!!!! he, like the two producers above, opts for a tuning in a higher range. there is also a soft quality to his mikus that i think is really nice. the thing that makes his tuning really unique is the fact that he leans into the robotic-ness of vocaloid! this style of vocals works so unbelievably well with the chill, electronic style of instrumental he often uses, and makes for some incredible stuff that human vocals just cant capture. specific recs are cinema and ghost city tokyo
sasakure.uk- if you thought that ayase embraced the robotic sound that vocaloids can produce, sasakure has practically buried himself in it! i think that sasakure's work is most notable to me for the fact that (in my opinion) his instrumentals stick out more than the vocals? and not in a bad way! not at all! its just that the way he tunes his vsynths is in such a fashion that they feel like part of the instrumentals. like, instead of the music feeling like it's a vessel for the vocals, the vocals instead blend into the instrumentals in a really unique way i havent heard with many other producers? the way sasakure tunes and uses vocaloids is something so distinct, and something that can really only be done through the medium of vocal synthesizers. specific recs are amara and future eve
Hiiragi Kirai- hiiragi takes flower, a vocaloid i find already sounds pretty unique, and goes fucking crazyinsane with her!! his flower tuning is so unbelievably cool and unique, ive srsly never heard someone use her in a way like he does. he makes her voice sound intense, harsh and growly which is seriously soooo sick :D flower's harsh vocals paired with the often intense instrumentals creates a vibe that's almost impossible to replicate with human vocals (the only covers i can think of that have managed to be on par with hiiragi's originals is ado's bocca della verita & loveka). specific recs are bottom and autophagy
Maretu- 😁😁😁 do i really have to say anything here. maretu perfectly utilizes the robotic sound that miku can produce, and makes her sound incredible with the chiptune & rock instrumentals he uses!! the vibes in maretu's original songs are so fucking good and ive (afaik) yet to find a cover that's on par with his og stuff. listen, you're asking for vocaloid recs on the maretu blog, this is a given. specific recs are koukatsu and white happy
specific songs recs now yayyyy!! im just gonna list the songs and give little blurbs abt them :-)
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im not sure exactly how much this counts as unique tuning, but im putting it here anyways... the way miku and meiko are tuned here are different to how ive often heard them sound before, with a bit of roughness to their voices that you can only get via a vocaloid
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really cool high-pitched tuning that expertly blends miku's & kafu's vocals! the vocals also work perfectly with the spooky vibes the rest of the song has! if you like this you'd probably also like unfriendly hater, which doesnt stand out quite as much to me as being unique but is still equally as good
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i fucking love this song sm... miku's vocals are so robotic (i feel like ive used that word a lot...) which works suuuuper well with the instrumental and, with my incredibly limited knowledge of kagepro, works really well for ene's character!
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the sheer insanity of this song can really only work with vocals provided by a vocaloid. listen to it and try and tell me that a human's vocals could improve on this... you cant (also pls listen to the song bc its really good)
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p.h is an INCREDIBLE song, and it has such wild vocals. somehow seventhlinks manages to make flower sound more unique than she usually does, and it creates such a cool vibe for the whole song!
#im actually sorry for how long this got anon 😭#ik u probably wanted just a list but. i took advantage of the opportunity to rant LOL#plus its still in a list format so if you dont wanna read the paragraphs you can just look at the p-name/song :)#i spent over an hour on this... i hope its okay and makes sense#vocaloid
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GODDAMMM JIMIN YOUR VOICE!!!!!
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Ask 2: What’s your verdict on Vibe bpp? Im not very knowledgable but it sounded like what i heard in radios back in the 2000s, i saw people say that its not very kpop, do you agree? I wasnt into it until jimin came in dunno if I was just biased lol.. I’m was very surprised at the level of participation Jimin had in this song.. Turns out he even wrote some of the lyrics enough to get credit.. and i feel like he got half of the verses And spotlight in the MV too! Maybe cuz its his first official collab but I was surprised at him advertising it in his ig lol he’s never done that before.. it looks like theyre planning on doing music shows too!!! Curious to see how this collab will do in the charts too.
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Ask 3: So. What did you think of it? Doesn’t Jimin look absolutely gorgeous? My heart.
#Vibe #ParkJimin #KillMe #WhatImDeadAlready
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Ask 4: WILL HE BE PERFORMING AT A SHOW?!?! LIVE?!?!?!
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Ask 5: heyyy bpp!! with the bigbangtan collab turning out to not be a hoax a lot of people are now hoping for a blacktan collab someday. do u think its possible? imho it might be a possibility but tbh i just cant see there styles and philosophies meshing well at all at least not until bp comes out with music that is very diff from what theyve done so far and i just cant see that happening any time soon bec even their solos so far arent that good imo. what do u think?
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Hi Anon(s)!
VIBE is very much giving me 80s groove mixes, stripped back. Only thing missing is a Kenny G saxophone solo.
My favourite parts/timestamps:
1:55 - I love how they stripped back the instrumentals in Jimin's chorus so we really **hear** him. God, his voice. It's almost acapella and I'm glad Teddy had the sense to not bury that magic under useless synths.
2:17 - What is it with Jimin and bridges? He understands the assignment. Every single time.
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Because I was aware of my bias going into it, I gave this song a few more listens than I typically do before forming an opinion. And like I suspected, the only reason I like this song is because of Jimin.
Taeyang gave me nothing to work with I'm sorry. The D'Angelo aesthetic failed to land, the only person who brought sauce to this joint is Park Jimin. I think even Taeyang, Teddy and co recognize that too, because though it's Taeyang's song and technically a feature, it feels like Jimin's song with Taeyang featuring. (The lines split is also smart from a business POV because it will get ARMYs and Jimin solo stans to buy/stream it more). Jimin has writing credits [*] so I can only assume he wrote his verses because the difference between his verse and Taeyang's is like night and day, and in Jimin's verse, the lack of gendered pronouns is something I can't help but notice.
In terms of jikook/ML collabs so far, I actually prefer this to Left & Right and Dreamers, but I like Bad Decisions more. So I'm giving this song a solid 6.8/10. It's a decent track and the hook is fun to sing. And thankfully, the song is short enough.
Frankly, if this single was supposed to whet people's appetites for Taeyang's album, it does the opposite for me, but it does do that for me with Jimin with PJM1. I **need** to hear more Jimin.
Anon in Ask 4, Taeyang has said there's a live performance so it's possible we get to see Jimin perform it live with him. (Jimin is blonde right now, in case anyone forgot)
Anon in Ask 5, you might not have heard, but ARMYs have a running joke that the tannies collab with people unlikeable to the fandom. I think a collab between Blackpink and BTS/any of the members is certainly possible (everything is possible in Chapter 2), but it will be a character building exercise for everyone involved.
And y'all know all I really do in those sorts of situations is laugh.
My favourite shot:
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It's a bit unfair to Taeyang to have him dance beside Jimin, honestly. But he managed to hold his own for the most part. The live will be fun to watch.
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(Jimin's dance lines are perfection)
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[*] EDIT: Updating this to correct that Jimin has composing credits on Vibe, not writing credits. Only Taeyang and Vince have writing credits. So for Jimin’s verse I can assume Vince did the writing, and if Taeyang did then even more kudos to him honestly (though it begs the question… you know what, I’ll drop it lol). And again, the lack of gendered pronouns for Jimin’s verse sticks out (which is probably true for any queer listener tbh).
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hi there! not a ‘culture is’ ask, rather- a question if that’s ok?
firstly- i really, really want to thank you for running this blog. before this i literally thought i was the only queer muslim, or at least the only genderfluid one, and i’d felt so isolated and wrong and ashamed, but now i feel so much better about being queer and muslim. thank you…… <3
quick question for you and anyone who reads this blog- y’all, how do i find other queer muslims, online and in real life? in real life most muslims ik or have met are so queerphobic i’m honestly not sure how to root out anyone who is queer or even accepting. in other countries (i live in an African country, kinda in the middle of nowhere lol), ones that are more well-known perhaps, how did any of you meet any other queer Muslims?
also… online. there’s so many queer Muslims online and i’d love to get to know some of you, be friends or just to hear about others experiences and lives. but i literally don’t know how to find y’all, ahh😭😭
hi anon ! im so glad you found us <3 queer muslims have existed since the dawn of islam and will *continue* to exist. youre not the only one, never have been and never will be :]
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as for finding other online queer muslims : i usually just go scroll through the queer muslim tag ! see who posts or even just likes / rbs the content there
maybe some of my followers are also looking for friends ?
**** if anyones interested, leave a reply or a note in a rb ! ****
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as for IRL queer muslims well,, tbqh im not sure. personally i got sorta lucky. i grew up in africa as well and my two closest friends at the time both came out to me as bi before i started questioning my sexuality. beyond that, there were two cishet guys who,, didnt always say the right things and i dont think they wouldve understood my gender but they *did* hype me up when i told them i was gay and they told me they knew others like me. i also have an aunt and uncle who, although ive yet to speak to them about this, liked the facebook page for my countrys queer rights activism group (which i was pleasantly surprised existed), so im *reasonably* sure theyre chill
to try and extract some advice from my experience :
check their online presence if you can. do they follow or interact with queer or queer friendly accounts ?
discussing or bringing up queer media and celebrities is always a good way to gauge ppls opinions on the matter. you can be as subtle or as direct w this as you want, but tread carefully cause ppl can get real heated
>> my bi friend recommended me a queer manga before she came out, whilst a homophobic ex friend started ranting abt a video game trailer bc it had a gay couple in it
**** if anyone reading this has more tips, please leave them in the notes ! ****
#hopefully this is at least a bit helpful ^^#oh also my friend joined the local model un and apparently that was a queer hotspot but i dont think that ones universal :p#not queer muslim culture#blog appreciation
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Okay it's probably so obvious about who I am but f it lmao
Onto the actual thing, I would just like to rant about how well you characterize Vil like it's so???? I love that you don't write him as some shallow overly vain character and that you've really bothered to show that although he may be an amazing and strong person theres times even when he'll get hurt and be funny and just be a normal college student and not be the perfrct persona that he purs on.I love that you write him as a person that doesn't criticize everything he sees, has feelings, is empathetic, and is flawed, the way you write Vil just feels so realistic, and well, human. I could go on for years and your writing in general is absolutely beautoful and just so heartwarming 😭😭😭
I have absolutely zero clue who this is so ummmm you should come forward lol
But THANK U SO MUCHHH AAAHHH IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY WRITING ITS TRULY MY FAVORITE COMPLIMENT TO RECIEVE. Years about my writing being beautiful and heart warming? Ugh Anon compliments like that make my heart SOAR.
I love Vil 100% and I think people write him as this cold perfectionist and I think they realllly must have not played the same game because all I see is a sensitive person who was forced in the position of putting up this perfect person facade. He likes video games, he likes giving hugs and cheek kisses (I mean. He did it so willingly during book 6, he MUST have some sort of touch starved attribute to him...) He says Epels accent is his charm, just wants to teach him a time and a place in the way he speaks (I personally have the mouth of a sailor, he'd have a field day trying to get me to stop swearing all the time HAHA)
I see Vil wanting to be a normal person who can laugh and make a mess, someone who can be honest and talk about his opinions without fear of being ridiculed. Vil is probably one of my favorite characters because he has such depth to his personality and layers you can pick apart. He's very very human unlike the way others who paint him as a picture of statuesque perfection, get cries easily, he feels the pressure of being in the publics eye, yet he can still be a joyful and sensitive soul who is honestly just your normal guy.
SORRY I WENT ON A WHOLE RANT I JUST SEE VIL AS LIKE...A PLAYFUL AND SENSITIVE AND OPEN TYPE OF LOVER / CLOSE FRIEND AND HE DESERVED THE WORLD
I really gotta write for him more
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Hi I just started following your blog and love reading ur opinions. I LOVE Zendaya. Im newly into the Austin butler fandom. I feel weirdly protective of him lol. I think he’s just so sweet and pure. And talented. Was wondering if you were a big fan of him or if you just started following him thru dune press?
About the dune panel, I love all four of them. I’m a big fan of Florence. Timmy is ok lol. I like him but I wouldn’t say I’m in that fandom. Even tho I do think he is good at what he does. I can’t wait to get more press with them. I hope they mix and match them thru out the promo and interviews.
Hey Anon! 👋🏾 Welcome to my blog! 🥰
I LOVE Zendaya.
I LOVE Zendaya too! She's awesome! 🥰 So you're in the right place lol. I can't WAIT for her film "Challengers" next year.
Im newly into the Austin butler fandom. I feel weirdly protective of him lol. I think he’s just so sweet and pure. And talented. Was wondering if you were a big fan of him or if you just started following him thru dune press?
Awww... Yea, I love Austin. 🥰 I think a lot of fans (and even people in Hollywood) feel the same way (protective) over him cuz he's kinda green to this level of fame in the industry, and he seems to have a very kind heart.
In answer to your question, I've known OF Austin for years. He was on so many shows lol. 😅 I only watched him in "The Carrie Diaries" (The CW lol) though. I loved that show lol. It wasn't until last year that I realized he was on this show called "Switched at Birth" on Hulu lol.
Watching "Elvis" last year turned me into a FAN though. 😁 I was blown AWAY! I didn't even see "Austin" in that movie. It was like I was watching someone else. 😱
About the dune panel, I love all four of them. I’m a big fan of Florence. Timmy is ok lol. I like him but I wouldn’t say I’m in that fandom. Even tho I do think he is good at what he does. I can’t wait to get more press with them. I hope they mix and match them thru out the promo and interviews.
Me too! 😁 I'm a HUGE fan of all 4 of them! They're just all really talented and some of the very promising actors in the industry today imo.
If either of them are in a film, I'll definitely be watching, cuz I know it's usually going to be good/interesting. 😊 I love Florence also. She's really cool, down to earth, and a really good actress! She's def going places. I'm really excited for what their careers will bring in the future!
And of course, I'm super excited for "Dune: Part 2"!!! 😁 I don't care if the movie is crap and all I see is a bunch of sand blowing in the wind y'all lol.......
I'll just be glad to see such a huge cast all in one film rotfl.... 😅🤣
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okay, replying to the long anon message this way so i can put it under the cut for spoilers :)
if it wasn't for fanfics of acotar i would have dropped it in acowar tbh, there were too many inconsistencies with the plot and characters and so many things that happened so the story moved forward but had no reason to happen, like it was out of nowhere and she prioritized romance over plot more and more each book and then prioritized smut in acosf over her own characters. i know ppl like that book but that was a shit characterization of nesta and cass and everyone that showed up almost and what for? to have a bunch of smut scenes that didn't actual help anything with nesta's development or the plot (i think it didnt even help with them getting together bc i would have prefered they actually started getting closer organically and then the tension starting after that) and she actually had a good idea with the valkyries but then the blood rite kinda cheapened it in my opinion bc they literally won with the power of friendship when sjm could have just skipped more time ahead (since they're immortal) and then when the 3 of them were realistically ready they could have won, and since the 3 bat boys winning was such an important thing i think if she really had to have that parallel than she could have wrote it better
i absolutely agree with this. and there's amazing examples of fantasy books where the smut hasn't ruined the plot and it's flow is great. but like, she's just cranking these books out with little thought i swear. and she can brag that she wrote cc3 in whatever like 6 weeks or some shit and then scrapped the whole thing. but like? sounds like a rush job to me? and how does she keep up with all these fucking characters because i can't. cc3 will make me lose my mind i swear. cass/ness had so much potential tbh i was here for it but acosf was a complete whirlwind of fuckery. and i get that it was no longer feyres pov or whatever but what the hell, that's not my cassian.
im glad you mentioned the bryce and az chapter bc i havent read that series and i dont want to but sjm is crossing them over to get people to read it (which makes me want to read it even less lol) and its just one more storyline she probably can't keep up with. like it's crazy how we still don't know so much about the acotar world or the characters, even rhys we still don't know how far his powers go or so much about his backstory and why? bc sjm doesn't care about building a character, i know it's a romance book but you can't just ignore every other aspect of the book
literally the only reason i read it was for the crossover. it was one of the worst books ive ever read and long as fuck too. did not need to be that long. i couldn't tell you a single thing that happened in it to be honest besides the fact that literally every man bryce came across had to make sure to mention how beautiful she is. fuck off with that shit fr.
also! this one is kinda me being picky maybe but the jokes about feyre having canned food in this setting with no other modern stuff is actually bad world building imo, i mean there were no signs of industry in the book and then a can of soup shows up out of nowhere? before other more basic stuff than would have to have shown up already? idk what that was about. that and the leggings, im not saying it's not possible for them to be there but to this day my mom calls them tights bc that's what they were called until a few years ago so seeing the word in the fantasy setting sjm had set up literally pulled me out of the book
OMG you're so right i never thought much of the soup can but you're so rightttt im actually dying that's so funny. yeah, leggings was stupid as fuck too, you're telling me they have synthetic stretchy fabric? be so fr rn
maybe im in a mood today too lol but i really just much prefer fanfiction over the books, in fact i only finished them bc since i was getting spoilers from fics and thought i might as well read them
i feel this so hard 💙
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Fandom Appreciation
@choicesfandomappreciation thank you so so much for hosting this event <3 we all appreciate you & your efforts so so much!
as per usual, i'm late to this but literally who's even surprised at this point? there are so so many people in this fandom who have my entire heart, & i will always be grateful to this fandom for allowing me to meet people i love & adore so so much 💘 so lets get this show on the road:
@utterlyinevitable : dom! i literally love you so fucking much you have no idea. i am so so glad we grew so much closer this year, because no one understands my brainworms better than you: from bridgerton to open heart to the royal romance i am so so glad i have you to rant and scream at <3 you're one of the most talented people i've had the pleasure of knowing, & im so incredibly lucky to call you my friend.
@maurine07 : the way this girl has my entire fucking heart. maurine i'm literally never lying when i say that you're one of my favorite people on this hellsite. you've been so incredibly supportive of me since day one, and i genuinely cannot thank you enough. the way you genuinely care about me & allow me to rant about my ocs? it means the world to me. i love ranting & talking to you so so much, & i hope we stay friends for a very very long time (also please rant about your ocs to me at any time i need to know what's going in that brilliant head of yours <3)
@mysticalgalaxysstuff : m! gosh i cannot believe we only met this year because it genuinely feels like i've known you forever. you are one of the friendliest, funniest & most supportive person i've met. the way you just get me & my humor, the way your reblogs make my entire day, just you - i hope you know just how much of an integral part you play in this fandom. also i will rant more about this in my upcoming (& lengthy) writer's appreciation post but i absolutely adore you & your writing. also miss marissa & you both have my entire heart.
@the-pale-goddess : sis! you're literally one of first people i interacted with on here, an og if you will. you also happen to be one of my favorite people ever. i am in forever in awe of your talent (as if you didn't already know this) but i am way more in awe of the kindness and poise you hold. you're always so incredibly welcoming to everyone here, and i know i can always count on you to make me laugh & feel better whenever i interact with you. i know you're not as active in the fandom as you once more, but i really hope we stay friends for a long long time because you are genuinely one of my favorite people <3
@ofmischiefandmedicine : lin, my brain twin - i literally love you so so much. i can't believe we became friends over someone sending me a hate anon and you coming to my defence, maybe they aren't so bad after all lol <3 i know you're taking a break from the fandom at the moment but i selfishly await for you to come back. but even if that doesn't happen, i know it doesn't mean our friendship is gonna end because you're stuck with me forever, obviously. you are one of the kindest, sweetest, most supportive people i have ever had the pleasure of meeting. the way you always go out of your way to stand up for what is right & for what you believe in is genuinely so inspiring to me. also let's not forget about your immense talent! the way we share all of the same thoughts and opinions is my favorite thing ever, apart from miss laura levchenko who has my whole entire fucking heart. also! petty lin is my fav <3 in conclusion i love you, so so much.
@starrystarrytrouble : ruby <3 the way i literally love you so fucking much. ma'am how are you so fucking talented? so fucking kind? so fucking funny? like genuinely, teach me your ways. i am so incredibly lucky to call you my friend. you have always been there for me, always so incredibly supportive & i appreciate that more than words can say. i will obviously rant more about your talent when i post my writer's appreciation post but i hope you know that e&e have my entire heart <3 also i can't wait to move to the uk & hopefully meet with you irl because how fucking cool would that be?!
@takemyopenheart : avy my beloved <3 you were one of the first writers who's works i read on here, and i have been obsessed with you since then. you are so incredibly talented, not to mention so fucking funny. i love love love that we are fellow bridgerton whores <3 i am so so glad that you're here & am forever grateful for your friendship & support. i love you!!
@openheartforeverinmyheart : lizzie!! again one of the people who i've only known for a short period of time yet it feels way longer. you are such a positive ray of light in this fandom, & i am so so happy to call you my friend. thank you for being so incredibly supportive of me since day one, it means the world to me <3 i love all your takes & ethan & adelina!! i am so so glad you decided to join our fandom because it genuinely wouldn't be the same without you.
@lsvdw-blog : l! my bestie! i literally love you and your big brain so fucking much <3 i love how i can always count on you to be my rant buddy like bitch how are you so fucking funny while having the best takes at all times? i am so incredibly grateful to you for always being so supportive of both me & my writing, it means so much to me. and bitch you already know i love serena & ethan & that angsty mind of yours, like yes please give me more break my heart to smithereens.
@cariantha : cari! my fellow brooks sister <3 since day one, you have been such a staple in our fandom, and i am so incredibly happy that you're here. i am absolutely obsessed with your edits & your talent, not to mention the immense support you show everyone here! i'm grateful to call you my friend & i love you mwah <3!!
@anotherbeingsworld : alya bestie i know you're not super active in the choices fandom anymore but it is how we met so thank fucking god for that because you are literally one of my favorite people ever. you're so fucking kind & talented like hellaur how do you do it? i am obsessed with you and all your ocs like is mastermind by twsizzle about you? also i love love love our calls so so much, we gotta do it again soon! also queen of moodboards & edits hello? i'm gonna stop now before i start ranting but i can't wait for you to visit sg so that we can finally meet irl & i can show you around the sights and be your local tour guide <3
@ariondevereux : nikka! again, i know that you aren't super active in the choices fandom anymore but it is how we met and i am so so thankful for that. your talent is fucking insane!! i am so so incredibly excited for the ethan & lana song like that little snippet i already saw? fucking out of this world. i absolutely love that brilliant brain of yours, your hcs and your characters and your pinterest boards like you don't understand, i'm obsessed. also you're literally so fucking kind?! like yes you have the voice of an angel but you're also literally just an angel in general, like i love you so fucking much <3
@burnsoslow : burns! the way i've been obsessed with you since day one. literally one of my favorite creators & human beings on this hellsite. the way you were so kind to me since day one? it meant & continues to mean so fucking much to me. i love you & your big brain so fucking much - let's have that wine & gossip day soon yeah?
@joachimtriers : tagging you because i know you're the biggest ethan stan ever <3 okay anyways you know how much i fucking adore you but this ain't about you so adios mwah <3
@katkart122 : the way you won't even see this because you fucking suck <3 but anyways of course you have to be on this fucking list because without this inane app i wouldn't have met one of my best friends (ew, that felt gross to type </3) -- you already know how much i adore you (not really) & your big brain (yeah really) won't get too sappy because that's disgusting but i can't wait to move in together and tell people we met because we simped over a 2d man's dick.
special shoutout to my og ethanbrook girlies <3 i know ya'll aren't active in the oph fandom anymore but i hope you know how much i fucking love y'all you guys made this fandom such an amazing place & you guys will always have a special place in my heart: @cryinginthebackseat @drethanramslay @thefeminineurge @openheartthot @sleepingdea @mortifying-macaroni
also shoutout to one of my favorite people ever- @terrm9 terr i know you aren’t active in the fandom anymore but if you see this just know that i love you so so much, you have the biggest heart and i will forever be grateful for your friendship. also i am obsessed with your mind & ocs and i still think about lina & tatum to this day <3 i love you my friend i hope life is treating you and your family well because you deserve that and more & oh tell my favorite human zuz that i said hi MWAH 💘💘
this post is getting egregiously long so i will shut up now, but i can't end this post without mentioning a few more of my favorite people, people i am so so grateful are in this fandom & make the fandom what it is: @blossomanarchy @lem-20 @a-crepusculo @jamespotterthefirst @mydemonsdrivealimo @alwaysmychoices @gryffindordaughterofathena @headoverheelsforramsey @bryceslahela @kcnnarys @potionsprefect @txemrn @quixoticdreamer16 @peonierose @annfg8 @trappedinfanfiction i love ya'll <333
#i just KNOW im forgetting someone ugh.#im gonna keep tagging people when they come back to me cause im an idiot lol#i love you all so so much#i will actually cry if that fandom dies anyways thats all bye <3#choices fandom appreciation
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