#lol but real talk the game is good but nothing spectacular I never got the hype
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college bf!mj
a/n AH !!!! THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE ASTRO COMEBACK ???? APRIL 5TH ??? WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE LOVES !! i genuinely...do not know if I will be able to survive this month bc of them.
(also i tried to get this posted on mj’s birthday but I’m so sorry a lot of shit happened and I had a ~bad mental breakdown~ and it’s just been rough out here but that’s a story for another time if any of you lovely beings wanna know hehe)
→ genre: fluff, smut
→ tw: mentions of cheating (in past relationships)
→ word count: 4.9k
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KIM MYUNGJUN !!
A LIVING REINCARNATION OF THE SUN
this is gonna be so cute i just !! love him so much???
has his own apartment, but he honestly stays over all of the boys’ places so much that...he barely sleeps at his apt
major: vocal performance
his voice is literally honey
can probably sing higher than some sopranos in his major
so friendly, everyone who meets him loves him
mj just has a way of attracting people and making people comfortable around him
in short, he is – of course – the moodmaker
can turn anyone’s frown upside down
he’s down?? for like everything
an adventurous spontaneous type
has...probably failed a ged ed class once or twice before...
he’s not stupid okay! he just doesn’t really care about the classes that has no connection to his major
like will he ever apply calculus in singing? probably not
oh but professors can’t hate him, even if he just messes around during class
he’s just so kind and likeable
loves his boys aka astro
will literally do anything to make them smile, even if he’s had a rough day
as long as his boys are happy :’) he’s happy :’)
now how do you meet myungjun??
he’s in an acapella group on campus
he just has to be alright
he was the only freshman that got in during his first year
that shows how good he is :*
a tenor in the highly competitive co-ed group
spoiler alert, he convinces sanha to join, but that’s for college bf!sanha
myungjun is what me and my friends like to call: the solo whore
and it’s not bc he’s greedy for solos, he’s a real team player
his voice just happens to sound the best for most solos your group has??
you’re also in the acapella group
im not giving a voice part bc then that would put you in a binary category
so soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, bass, you pick love
anyway, you and myungjun were chosen to sing a duet for one of your competition pieces
and it was the key emotional piece so you and him had to be on your A games
you and myungjun were friends ofc, you had to be some sort of friends with everyone in your acapella group
but you never really hung out with him outside of rehearsal
well until you got this duet together
and you weren’t worried about it, mj was so fun and nice and an amazing singer, you had no doubt these extra practices with him would be a good time
and you were right! besides singing, you actually got a chance to get to know him and how goofy he really was
you’re pretty sure you always had an ab workout whenever you hung out with him bc of how much he made you laugh
about a month away from competition, you and myungjun were like best buds
literally a chaotic, iconic duo
the chemistry you two had during your duet was spectacular, your voices highlighted and bounced off each other very well
but! your leader had a little critique
“y/n, myungjun, that was great but...can you guys pretend to look...like in love? I get we’re all friends here, but if you can’t convey the emotion of the song in our performance, what’s the point? This goes for everyone, this is a song about how much you love your partner and would give them the world, we need to show that in our eyes and movements, even if you’re just singing ooh and woah for like 10 measures.”
you and myungjun decide to stay after rehearsal and practice the emotions you guess...
your leader had a point, good singing could only go so far
and for the first time, myunjun was a bit...? awkward??
you: alright so how are we gonna pretend to be madly in love with each other
he chuckles and shrugs: honestly I don’t know, look at me like I’m your boyfriend or something??
you: well, I hate my last boyfriend so that probably wouldn’t be a good idea
myungjun offering you a high-five: I hate...well I think I hate...my last partner too so at least we have that
you: how do you think you hate your last partner? are you not dating anyone right now?
he gives you a smile and like you notice it’s forced?? it’s not genuine or bright like the one he usually gives
mj: no I’m not dating anyone...my last relationship sorta traumatized me I guess.
you: ...how did it traumatize you...? you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to myungjun
mj: ah *awkward laughter* well...I was sorta going through it my senior year of high school, stress from graduating and what to do with my life and all that shit, you know? I dated this person since my freshman year and I guess my mental health got the best of me during that time and they couldn’t handle it. We were planning on staying together throughout college and do long distance but I found out in the summer before starting college that they fucked my high school best friend behind my back...when I confronted them about it, the answer they gave me was that I was too down and preoccupied with my worries to notice about my partner’s needs...pretty fucked up right?
your jaw dropped, your eyes were bulging out at his story
you: myungjun what the fuck??? what college do they go to? I’ll pull up right now and beat their asses, I don’t know scream in their face or something! That’s fucked!
he’s laughing a little: thanks y/n, but it’s alright. You know, maybe I was too caught up in my own problems that I ended up neglecting my partner’s needs...I guess that’s why I’m always just trying to be carefree and fun now.
you: that doesn’t justify the fact that what they did to you was wrong. you should have never gone through that myungjun, it’s not your fault that you were going through it mentally, your partner should have been there to support you and understand your struggles, not cheat on you with your best friend. ugh I’m pissed for you.
mj: I appreciate it y/n, but yeah love’s sorta a hard subject for me.
you nod in understanding
mj: well! that’s my traumatic breakup story, it’s only fair you share yours
you laugh: you’re right. Well I was dating this guy right when I entered college, met him at the freshman orientation, completely hit it off. I was so in love with him, we dated for about a year. And then last semester he broke up with me out of nowhere, said he wanted to focus on school and himself and that he needed a break from dating. I found out two days later that he started dating one of his suite mates and that on the night he broke up with me, they fucked. So love? also something hard for me.
mj: aww look at us both unable to find or relate to love because of past relationship traumas.
you hit his shoulder laughing: you’re such a headass
mj: I’m kidding! anyway, I’m sorry you went through that too y/n. it sucks and your ex is a dumbass for breaking up with you. Do you still have feelings for him? w-wait, you don’t have to answer that, was that insensitive?
you: you’re fine haha. Um...well...sometimes when I overthink things at night, I do miss him and I wonder what the hell I did wrong for it to end so abruptly because I was honestly really happy with him, but then I wake up in the morning and I hate him again.
mj: you did nothing wrong y/n...and if you need to call me at 2 am when you’re overthinking and need some badass confidence knocked into you, I will be awake.
you smile and give him a hug: thanks myungjun...you know the same goes for you too?
mj: hm??? what do you mean??
you: you don’t always have to smile around me, especially if you don’t feel like it. Don’t repress your mental health, huh? It’s bad for the soul to bottle it in. I’m not gonna force you to share your darkest fears with me, I’m just saying that if you feel drained and wanna talk about it, I’m here to listen
myungjun pouts a little bit, he’s really touched?? it’s hard for him to share his troubles with others
like as much as he loves astro and is close to them, he doesn’t share his down sides with the boys as often as he should bc he never wants to burden them
myungjun just always thought it was easier to suppress the bad feelings and put on a happy act
but he couldn’t deny the weight lifted off his shoulders after telling you about his breakup
and maybe it was because your energies were on a different level lately, but he found it so?? easy?? to just vent to you after that
until competition, the two of you worked on faking like you were in love (basically imagining that each other was your favorite actor/actress or whatever, something like that)
it was good enough for the group to believe it lol
but what about the judges and audience hmmmmm
anyway, fast forward and it’s competition day!!
myungjun introduces you to his best friends aka the boysss aka astro
they come and support him for his competition ugh we love
you’re like smiling and hyper when you meet them
...has myungjun been rubbing off on you???
you: it’s so nice to meet you all! myungun always talks so highly of you
astro: huh?? you’re lying, myungjun hyung complimenting us???
and then they start messing and friendly bickering with each other and yes they’re teasing mj
you’re laughing bc it’s so cute?? you can see in their eyes and their smiles how much they really care about each other :’)
also astro, probably jin or eunwoo, maybe rocky: we’re sorry if m hyung has driven you to insanity these past few months of rehearsing
you just laugh as myungjun hits them: myungjun’s actually been like my partner in crime lately, so we’re all good :)
*cue the boys exchanging looks with each other*
you perform ah ha ha
alright, you were so used to thinking that myungjun was...idk kim soohyun or something bc mm chef’s kiss his acting...to get into the emotion of the song
but then during the actual performance you saw him as myungjun and like all the hard work and extra practices and late night talks came in full force and you were just...singing to him
and you notice how...handsome?? and charismatic?? myungjun really is...and the little sparkle in his eyes when he’s performing like...wow
and after your set, you’re just like shit, what the fuck was that??
your group doesn’t win though, you place second!
but you and myungjun get awarded best solo/duet of the entire competition
astro: ;)
your acapella group: ;)
the judges: ;)
alright so im a firm believer that if myungjun had feelings for someone, he would straight up tell them like balls to the wall full fucking send
after competition, the routine of school comes back. you occasionally hang out with myungjun outside of rehearsal
by occasionally, I mean once a week hangout with myungjun (and astro bc they started inviting you to their dinners)
and then one night – at midnight – he calls you like out of pocket and his tone is like completely serious
you’re a bit scared?? like: myungjun...is everything okay? did something happen?
mj: y/n...can I ask you something?
you: yeah, of course
mj: do you still think about your ex?
you: o_o um...honestly no, not really...why?
mj: well, if I’m being honest. y/n, I have feelings for you. And i’m not asking you to like me back or give me an answer straight away, but I just wanted to let you know. If you don’t think about your ex anymore, and if you think you’re ready...maybe you can consider thinking of me??
mmmmm kim myungjun you slick flirty dog grrr bark bark
and you know how he can just talk, and talk fast, so you’re still in the middle of processing this and he just goes on like
“sleep on it, y/n. I’ll see you soon for rehearsal, okay? good night”
like you don’t even have a chance to respond to him bc he just hangs up the phone
you think about it, of course you think about it, you’ve been thinking about it ever since competition
having feelings for myungjun has always been in the back of your mind since then
like did you notice that when you hung out with him, your heart would flutter if he said something sweet?? or if you two were a bit too close to each other?? 100%
but you didn’t know if either of you were ready for another relationship so it’s just been put on the back burner
at the next acapella practice, you find that your cheeks just flush whenever myungjun looks your way
the rehearsal went a bit??? weird?? like even your group noticed that there was a bit of a tension between you and myungjun
but of course, he goes up and talks to you after rehearsal ended and he’s like: hey...I’m sorry if my confession made you feel weird, I didn’t mean for that at all. If you want, we can just forget about what I said and stay friends!
you just facepalm like: myungjun you idiot, I’m acting weird because I like you too. God, you know maybe the boys are right, maybe you need to shut your mouth for a little bit
and he whines like: hey!
but then he realizes what you said and he gives you the brightest smile: you mean it?? you like me back??
and you’re like shyly smiling now: yeah...I do...but do you want to take the next step?? I mean...do you think you’re ready for another relationship??
he gets like serious and he grabs your hand: not gonna lie, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully ready after my last one...but if there’s someone I wanna try it with, it’s you.
:’) kim !!! myung !!! jun !!!
dating myungjun?? the best thing ever
the cutest boy alive honestly
he has so much cute and goofy in him already with just friends and strangers
but with you, it’s increased tenfold
even you start to act cute and goofy after dating him
petnames?? bub and bubby
myungjun is not serious about a lot of things, but he is very serious about his feelings for you and your relationship
y’all take things at your own pace and he !! values !! consent !! even if it’s just like making out
he just doesn’t wanna mess things up with you :’)
the type of boyfriend to sing you to sleep ah !!! his voice is heaven alright
will be extra about pda in front of the guys to make them grossed out
and yes you get embarrassed, but myungjun’s too cute to scold
you get used to a lot of second-hand embarrassment dating him and being friends with the boys
but it’s just so endearing, you can’t even fight it
will swing your arms together when you’re out just walking
screams he’s so cute
you don’t really fight bc communicating with each other is one of the biggest things in your relationship
like if a disagreement or a situation comes up, you two are mature enough to talk it through and work things out bc you both already been knew what it’s like to be in a relationship that didn’t have full transparency
you do jokingly bicker about small things though (like think about how astro fights)
but he always ends fights by scooping you up in a hug and showering your face with kisses
loves kissing your nose
just imagine: you and myungjun cuddling and he just kisses your nose and you scrunch up your face and he just laughs and kisses you all over and you two end up giggling
will do anything to see a smile on your face, it’s the greatest sight to him
alright we been talking too much about how cute myungjun is
he’s also a hot motherfucker alright
the most attractive when he’s singing in your opinion
you know how charismatic he is, you’ve seen it first hand during rehearsal and performances
he’s very good at hiding his horniness, especially in public
but phew when you two are in private and myungjun’s in the mood
you can tell bc his eyes just get hazy and he immediately just starts kissing your neck
a very passionate lover, will prioritize your pleasure over his
sex with myungjun can go from being sweet and sensual, to fun and playful, to hot and exciting
by that...I mean that he is down to try every kink and position you can think of
as long as both of you are okay with it ofc
he’s one of the kinkiest members in astro im convinced
blindfolds? bondage? ice cubes? wax play?
you want it? you got it
he’s not into feet though, i apologize to my foot fetish lovers
his favorite position is actually missionary
myungjun loves being able to watch you and to see how good he’s making you feel
in missionary is when he feels the most connected to you, it’s just a passionate position
and yes he’s very vocal, so you betcha he encourages you to be vocal as well
will try to mess with you in a sense where say you two are hanging out with the guys, he’ll touch you and challenge you to not make a noise
and then he’ll snicker and wink at you if you even let out a peep
he’s a tease !!! like will edge you until you’re on the brink of cumming at least 3 times
myungjun has pretty good stroke game alright
very fluid with his hips, idk he just knows all the right spots to hit
praise...kink...that’s the tweet, need I say more
he’s into hair pulling !! both ways !!
okay hear me out...myungjun fucking you and pulling your hair until your screaming and then after you both cum, he’s like: you hit a high f earlier bub! I almost wanted to harmonize with you but–
you: myungjun are you serious!
sex with him would always just be a fun time, like he’s hot and grrr it feels so good but there’s always a bit of laughing and joking around in the process
like he will tickle you before he puts his cock in you just to see the switch of you laughing to moaning
alright but shower sex?? he’s into that
and just the acoustics of both of your sounds in the bathroom?? it’s so filthy he loves it – and it’s easy to clean up afterwards
you bet that after any performance with your group, the two of you have sex, even if it’s just a quickie in an empty practice room or whatever
no shame, will kick the boys out or announce “we’re going to fuck bye!” if you or him get too horny in the middle of a hangout
im just gonna throw this out here...you and myungjun...mile high club
(your group competed in an acapella competition and the flight there...it just happened)
all in all, myungjun just wants to make you happy and feel good and smile, even if you two just finished an intense sex session
let’s get into the deep stuff though, you are the only person myungjun is comfortable with to not show a smile all the time
even with the boys, there’s always a small part of him that wants to just push through and be optimistic just so that they won’t worry
but with you, he knows that it’s okay to be sad and to be vulnerable :’)
when myungjun cries bc he’s upset :( fuck you cry too
he loves when you just hug him and stroke his hair when he’s stressed
very showy about your relationship, not bc he’s braggy, but bc he just wants to show the world how happy you make him and that he’s in love <3
the boys are so happy to see their eldest in love :’)
they don’t show it around each other, but they’ve come up to you in private and say sweet things like
“you make myungjun hyung so happy, he always brings joy to everyone but you bring joy to him, thank you”
im !! getting !! sentimental !!
the day you found out myungjun was in love with you was the day you met his parents
‘twas a bit spontaneous
his parents came to see one of your group performances and myungjun’s like holding your hand and leading you somewhere after you get off stage and he’s like “bub! these are my parents!”
you end up getting dinner with his family and yikes you were hella nervous, you were not expecting on meeting his parents right after your performance
not gonna lie, you thought he was leading you to the car for some post-performance sex
but they adored you, his parents could see how much you meant to their son ugh I cry
anyway, the L word
as you’re finishing dinner, myungjun’s all giddy and just like
“I’m so glad you came and watched mom and dad, the timing was perfect too! I wanted to introduce you to y/n for a while now and have you meet the person I love.”
and his parents are just smiling at you and saying how they’re so happy to finally meet you and how you have an amazing voice and to take care of myungjun and you’re !!! just !!! blushing !!!
as soon as you both got in the car after saying goodbye to his parents, he’s just like: hope I didn’t surprise you too much bubby, I didn’t know my parents were coming to watch until like an hour before we went on stage
you just give him a little smile: I was a bit caught off guard, but it’s okay. Your parents are so sweet, I see where you get it from bub.
myungjun: I can tell that they love you already! well of course not as much as I do, but with time I know they’ll come pretty close
and you’re blushing again, it’s the L word: do you mean it myungjun?
myungjun: that my parents love you?? of course–
you: no, bub...that you...love me?
myungjun: yeah...unless you don’t feel the same way–
you: myungjun! no, of course I do! I just wasn’t expecting the first time to hear it was with your parents
you two are laughing, ugh this man
after your giggles subside, he leans over from the driver’s seat and he just cups your cheek and pecks your nose: I love you y/n, thank you for reminding me what love feels like
you: I love you too myungjun
and then you two are just like sharing a sweet kiss in the parking lot of the restaurant before starting the drive back to his place
do you and myungjun make duets together for fun and post it?? yeah probably
you are the luckiest dating myungjun, the living breathing embodiment of serotonin and love
even when you two are older and out of college, he still gives you the same affection and attention and authenticity ugh he’s just amazing
im so sorry this was late but happy belated to our happy virus <3
3-12-21
#i literally disappeared for like a week im so sorry#astro#myungjun#kim myungjun#mj#astro mj#astro scenarios#astro headcanons#astro au#astro smut#astro fluff#mj au#mj smut#mj fluff#myungjun au#myungjun fluff#myungjun smut#myungjun scenarios#college bf!mj#college bf!myungjun
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I never realized how bad it feels asking for a match-up- it's a really self-centered feeling lmao. But yeah, can I please have a match-up for me and either a Creepypasta character and/or Marble Hornets? If you don't want to do this, that's fine. Thanks for reading anyway!
To start, I go by all pronouns but I prefer she/her since I'm closeted. You can say I'm a straight ally or toric and it'll still be right, I suppose. I was born female. I like to be called questionable names such as Grass, Broskeet, etc in replace of my real name (believe it or not, people mispronounce my name to Elsie when they read it.) But I go by Lee now as an official name to replace my dead name, but I'm still closeted so only certain friends call me Lee.
I have long black/dark brown hair that's flat on top and gets really waves at the bottom, making it really poofy. I have green eyes that turn blue sometimes, and othertimes combine. I love my eyes so much tbh; sometimes one eye would be green and the other blue but it's very rare. I'm 5'2 and 130 so I'm slightly chubby but overall have an okay figure. I'm C-cup but I have like no fkn hips since I take after my dad lmao. Well, I have some but they doesn't move very much.
I'm a pretty neutrally opinionated person if that makes since. Oh, you like [unfavorable political party]? That's great, but just don't push that on to me. Oh, your friend likes [favorable political party]? Spectacular, but don't get me involved. Pretty much like that. Even if I like something, I ain't gonna act on it knowing it could be bad also. I don't have grudges or feelings of hate towards anyone really aside my sister, and it's a long story as to why.
Despite how neutral I can be, I can be one of three things: hella hyper and stupid, anxious and irritable, or tired and easily compelled to be either personality. Whenever I'm hyper, I go overtop if I'm playing a game and often times can make people laugh, but I also get too caught up in that to realize if I'm about to do something stupid. Since I was 3, I was known to be anxious and irritable a hell of a lot whenever; it would just happen randomly, even in the midst of having a good time. Whenever I'm tired, I usually try to sleep but get pulled into being hyper or anxious at some point.
I want to say I have ADHD but since I was never diagnosed, I can't say that it's a true statement. I was supposed to be tested when I was young but it never came. I pretty much struggle to pay attention and remember things, and often times talk too much. Anyway, one of the most notable features of mine is how I try to get people to laugh. It's one of my favorite things to do, especially with my close family.
I have two sisters, two half sisters, and a half brother. Only my half siblings I really get along; one of full sisters hated me as I hated her since forever, and the other other sister is a toddler who'd rather be by herself. My younger half sister and I get along great, but me and my cousin are so close. I'm not exactly family oriented but my cousin is hella important to me. I try to be loyal no matter what with people I care for, and these are good examples of those people. And friends too; I don't have many of them, but I would protect them at all costs even though I probably couldn't do much lmao.
I guess, on to hobbies? I love to draw, write, and read for basics. I've been neglecting how often I write though, I read so much everyday. The Outsiders and The Hunchback of Notre Dame (original) are my favorites, and so many lovable fanfictions too lmao. I draw semi-realistic but always manage to make a cartoon-anime combination on accident. Also, I collect alpaca stuffed animals. No reason other than I need to make a movement on the alpaca market that these creatures are so unfathomably perfect is all ways. I give them all stupid names like Karrot With A K, Kangaroo, MoshPit (it's a rainbow alpaca), etc. They also have backstories~~
I also try to go along with what other people like. Whether in an NSFW setting or not, I can be hella submissive and just go along with what other people want. I don't like like gey my preferences out there very much but I will speak up if someone's being disrespected in some way. I don't put up with that shit.
I love Mexican styled music and dances! My cousin had a Quinceanera that I got to be her Doma in, meaning I got to be part of a dance crew with her and got to give speeches. If you're unfamiliar with a Quence, it's basically a 15th birthday party for girls that's as big as a wedding, and a Doma is like a bride's maid. El Tao, Tao, and Soltera (Remix) are my gavorite lmao.
I love some 80s rock early 2000s rock/metal though. I love Japanese music too, and know the full lyrics to a fee Japanese songs. When I had a vrinfy weebo phase, I started "learning" Japanese but then got serious with it, and now I continue to learn it. I want to learn Spanish too since I clearly have Mexican in my family.
I like to wear all kinds of clothes. I like poofy, short dresses that twirls, Hot Topic styled skirts eith suspenders and chains, plaid pants and shirts, any shirt without sleeves, and a few signature red hoodies. I go for all looks really. But damn, I've recently been in love with skirts.
I watch anime so I might probably suggest my S/O to watch it. Nothing forceful though lmao.
As for NSFW if your up to it- I'm pretty submissive. Anything he likes, I would do. I would do degrading or praise as a kink as well. However, I'm a virgin so I'd be hella inexperienced lol. But yeah, that's pretty much it. Sorry if this is too long or short or just not good enough-
Hi love bug, I shut down matchups a little while ago! I don't know when I'm opening them back up again, but when I do, please feel free to send this in again! My sincerest apologies. It's also never self centered to ask for a matchup, if they were open rn, I'd do this in a heartbeat! <3
Also I briefly skimmed it and people refer to me as "Elise" instead of my actual name, "Elsie" and it's garnered my hatred of the former.
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All or Nothing
A/N: So, I kinda turned it into a pretty long story. It’s far more longer than I’ve planned and I keep coming up with more and more things, that’s why I need to divide it into parts.
You really need to yell at me or something to keep it shorter and stop complicating thigs lol
Also I need to give a shout-out to @make--your--life--spectacular who is helping me a lot <3
Hope you’ll enjoy it. I promise things will be far more interesting in further parts.
Lana Winters x fem!Reader
Words: 2.053
Lana was the woman who broke the mould. She was the embodiment of woman’s strength. No wonder, she became a role model for young feminists, including you. You adored her from the moment you saw her on TV for the first time. She wasn’t even famous yet, and you already were her biggest fan. For some reason you felt like the two of you had a lot in common and would get on well with each other. Yet you were just a teenager – a rebellious girl who grew up in a very conservative family. It was always clear that you weren’t like other girls. You didn’t want to get married or have children. You wanted to study and explore the world. You wanted to change the world and inspire people the way Lana had inspired you. And so you decided to be a journalist.
It wasn’t always easy, but you were a fighter, just like Lana. And even though life lavished both of you with a lot of obstacles, you didn’t give up. You weren’t that type who give up easily. And even though, you had to go through a lot on your way to the aim, you knew it was worth it.
After publishing her book Lana was on top of everything. She was on top of her career, fame and life. At least it seemed like that. She succeeded and was in charge. Everyone not only wanted, but paid for listening to her. She got the power that was unimaginable and finally, for once, everyone was taking her seriously. You wanted the same thing for yourself. And who else could understand it better if not Lana Winters herself?
That’s what you thought going to a job interview at the magazine in which she was the boss. Little did you know that getting to Lana wasn’t going to be as easy as you had thought. She was a chief editor and didn’t bother to participate in the process of recruiting new journalists. She simply didn’t have time for it and didn’t really care. Lana was a busy woman. There were always a lot of thing she needed to do, a lot of places she should be at and a lot of things she wanted to write about. She rarely met with anyone, especially the ‘young staff’ - as they called it - because for her the best way to get to know them was by reading their articles. It was, in fact, that part of her job that she hated. She found them all incompetent and stupid. Their works always needed to be corrected or changed completely in order to make sense at all. Lana often complained that there were no real journalists anymore. And that’s when you appeared and became a member of the staff.
It wasn’t clear for you how or why you managed to get the job, as there were a lot of people who were more experienced than you, but you weren’t going to complain. Working for Lana Winters was like a dream come true. She was the person you looked up to the most, so you were ready to do anything just to meet her. You were young and full of energy. You wanted to change the world and you put a lot of effort into making it happen. Yet you weren’t really ready for a reality check. It was all going too well to be real, you thought, but you were an optimist, so you wanted to believe that after all you had been through it was finally going to be okay. Though, as usually, life wasn’t going to go easy on you.
As you got the job it turned out that you were not only the youngest one, but also the only female member of the staff. That made everything twice as hard, but it didn’t discourage you. You kept on doing your best, believing that it would lead you where you wanted to be. But still there was a long way for you to go before achieving anything.
It wasn’t all that bad at first. They seemed to be pretty nice and friendly, but you soon realized it was only an illusion. In reality they were all awful and treat you horribly. They didn’t take you seriously, even kind of discriminated you, simply because you were a woman. Instead of letting you write they treated you more like some servant. And you were well aware that you wouldn’t be able to achieve your goal if you kept on making tea or coffee. That’s why you decided to do something about it.
Since Lana didn’t have her own family she had pretty much time to focus on her job. She loved writing, but besides being the best journalist she also wanted to help her staff develop. Or rather make sure that her workers were good writers, because obviously, in Lana’s team there was no place for incompetent morons. Her time was precious, but giving her attention to that matter every weekend didn’t seem to be a total waste of time.
As a boss Lana was able to lay down her own rules. And she did make quite a lot of them. One of them was making you write an article for her every week. It was her way of checking if you were making any progress in your writing and if you paid any attention at all to the corrections she had made in your previous works. It also enabled her to keep track of you developing your writing skills.
Whether you liked it or not, all of you had to follow Lana’s rules. You didn’t mind, but the majority of your colleagues hated it. The pressure was enormous, you couldn’t deny it. Writing for Lana was really time consuming, which was the biggest problem for all your male friends, who always complained about it. You failed to understand why they were so ignorant and didn’t take it seriously. For you it was obviously a great way of improving your skills. You were also aware that if you want to keep working at the magazine and be able to work with Lana and not only for her, you needed to be better than the rest. You knew that to get her attention you needed to amaze her with your writing. Though it was pretty hard, taking into consideration that your colleagues pretty much excluded you from writing.
At the beginning you had no idea that Lana wasn’t getting your works at all. She was usually picking a few works every week and then sending them back to their authors with her corrections and suggestions. All your colleagues got their works checked at least once, but you had never got yours. That’s when you began to wonder why. You were furious when you found out that your so called friends were purposefully excluding your works. Though it began to make sense then. No wonder you never got your works proofread, since Lana hadn’t got to read any of them. You knew there was no use in confronting your colleagues about it. That wouldn’t change anything anyway. So, you decided to act the way they did. You couldn’t make them play by your rules, because treating everyone equally obviously wasn’t their thing, so you began playing by their rules. Except you were smarter than them and knew exactly that you were able to beat them even in their own game.
It was against your principles to do things like that, but since you joined the group of male writers you learned that if you wanted to achieve anything, you had to break the rules sometimes. You took the risk and replaced the envelope that your colleagues prepared - with the one that contained only your works, because you had to make sure that Lana would pick your article. It was very risky and there were only two options. You could either get all you wanted or got fired and be left with nothing, but you did it anyway.
You had always been rather a patient and calm person, but that two days of waiting were like a torture. You felt uncertain and didn’t know what to expect. Whether Lana would like your work or hate it? Whether she would be mad and fire you or not? Or what would you do if she indeed fire you? You hadn’t really thought it over and so you were dying of worry for a whole weekend.
But as Monday arrived you didn’t need to wait too long for getting answers to all your questions. Early in the morning Lana practically dashed inside - with the white envelope and a lot of different papers in her hand. She immediately had everyone’s attention, because she had never ever appeared in that part of the office where you were working. She put all her stuff on the nearest chair and spoke up.
“Who wrote this?” she showed you a file of articles
There was a moment of silence. It was hard to say whether she was happy or not and nobody even dared to look at her. You were about to confess it was you, but before you managed to one of your colleagues - the most annoying and self-important one spoke.
“It was me” he said
Apparently, following the “all or nothing” rule was a thing among you. Your heart was beating so fast that you were pretty sure you may faint. What would you do if she believed him? Though luckily for you, she didn’t.
Lana looked at him and a frown of disapproval appeared on her face.
“No, it definitely wasn’t you. I had seen your works before. You’re unable to form a grammatically correct sentence, not to mention that you have absolutely no idea what you’re writing about. Honestly, I don’t know how you managed to graduate in journalism without the ability of writing and having such a poor stock of words”
After that comment you became a little bit less stressed, you somehow found the nerve and addressed her.
“I wrote it” you said coming out from behind the desk
Lana turned around immediately as she heard your voice. She smiled with satisfaction, as she had already known it must have been a woman, who wrote the article.
“Well” she began “I must admit I haven’t seen such a great work in a while”
You looked at her surprised. For a moment you felt dizzy and didn’t know whether it was because you were talking to your idol or because all the stress and uncertainty were finally gone.
“Thank you, Miss Winters” you managed to say
“Oh, you’re welcome, sweetheart. Please, come to my office in an hour. I’d like to talk to you some more and get a few things straight”
“Of course” you nodded still shocked
Lana smiled at you and was about to take her things and make her way to her own office, when your colleague - the one who had spoken before - started an argument.
“It can’t have been her. That must be a mistake”
Lana stopped in her tracks and took a deep breath - she was already done with him, but turned to face him once again.
“Why is that?” she asked
“Because…” he started, but couldn’t find the words
“Yes?” Lana crossed her arms on her chest
“Because she’s a woman!”
“So am I. Is that a problem for you?”
“I mean no… But you... you are Lana Winters and… and…” he kept stuttering
“Listen to me” Lana said sternly “There’s no place for sexism in my team. Everyone is equal regardless of their sex, race or whatever. If you want to be noticed you need to be good at your job. That's how it works here”
“You chose her because she’s a woman and as we all know you like girls” he complained
Lana inhaled sharply. Her hands clenched into fists, but she remained calm.
“I see, you don’t get it. Well, I think in this case we won’t be able to work together anymore” she said
“W-what?”
“Which part you don’t understand? Clean your desk and get out!” with that Lana disappeared leaving everyone speechless
You knew that everything was about to change. All you had to do was to wait one more hour.
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Another reason people probably didnt like Symphonia their first time but later loved it is because of the themes and undertones. Here is another essay that's going to be a very quick Symphonia walkthrough as a young child playing.
Here's a warning: I mention some stuff that happens in Symphonia. It will be mostly vague but there will be mention of death. There also might be some spoilers in here but nothing too serious, just some of the beginning story more than likely.
Let me begin by saying the box art looks pretty cool for the Gamecube but the front and back does look like a very, very young child's RPG. It seems like an RPG that was creates for super young children that havent hit there teens or are in the very first years of being a teen.
I'm about to give a quick walkthrough as if I am a very young kid playing Symphonia for the first time. This is to show why a lot of people had this as their first game in the series but didnt like it. Why a lot of people weren't the biggest fans until their second playthrough or when they gave it another chance and realized it is absolutely stunning. A top 10 game of all time across every platform created.
First off, there was a lot of adult themes and tones in Symphonia. Obviously, I dont mean nudity or sexually explicit material. I'm talking about the Desian Camps. The idea that millions of people are being captured, put to work, then put to death or letting them die. These type of adult themes.
The first time we played, we were young. We didnt get choked up or super sentimental about what was going on in video games. We didn't care so much about the parallels between real life and our video games. Usually, we just wanted something fun to play. I mentioned it earlier but the start of Symphonia looks super childish and like it's going to be a lighthearted adventure. You have a cast of kids (2 very young adults that added comedy and badassness). A majority of the beginning fights are snakes, birds, bunnies, and bears. The battle system is fun but also easy enough to get the hang of. You can honestly button mash with the occasional arte and not worry about combos . You didnt have to worry about combos at all, really, and just use artes when you wanted. Some of the artes were pretty cool looking and strong too which added more of a "wow, the combat system is cool. There's attacks and a bunch of power attacks you can use. You can also move around and dont have to wait like a turn base game." It's also possible to just button mash or use all your MP on Artes and really kick their ass.
Combining all of those elements together makes it seem more kid friendly than it really is. Playing through the start makes you feel like a 10 year old playing his first RPG with an age appropriate game since you control a bunch of kids. The fights are easy and usually bees or some weak animal. Nothing serious, really. The artes are cool and the more artes you learn, the cooler and more fun Lloyd gets. It's cool to play as Lloyd when you learn a new arte or two.
So far everything has been pretty lighthearted. This RPG is fun, the characters are pretty cool and can be funny. The dungeons aren't super confusing. It's just a fun game overall but nothing spectacular or crazy. Really the worst thing that has happened is "Desians bad. They destroy hometown over something stupid."
Marble's scene is the only real adult sad part in the game so far. They kill Marble in a way that you kind of don't get crushed by emotions. They let you down pretty easy and you get Marble's ring for Genis so now she is always with you. Her death isn't too bad because she was old and it was just one old woman in the game. It's sad but not devastating. Also the Ranch. They use them as slaves. But tbh it doesn't really hit you that they resemble real world stuff and you dont see the parallels like you should. You just kind of write it off as shitty and Desians are evil and the bad guys. Surely you save everyone from the ranches and that's the point of the game. Kill Desians and save everyone.
You get to the dessert oasis where Colette crashed through the wall. Cute and funny. Oh, Lloyd and Genis get captured by bad Desians but the wanted posters were bad so it made it funny. Eventually, You escaped the bad, bad Desians and are back with your friends, yay!!! You go to the fire shrine, finally see more menacing enemies but they still arent that bad, and start your first puzzle dungeon! It's short but a lot of fun with a boss fight. It was a little tough but fun!! You beat the shrine, yay!!!
The serious Angel (Remiel) comes down again and talks to Colette and the gang. He gives her wings! She is becoming an angel. At this point you are thinking, "How cool. Colette is becoming an angel!!! She has wings now and can probably fly wherever she wanted to go! This game is really fun. It's not bad at all. The weapons and equipment aren't difficult and it's fun buying or finding stuff better than what you have and equipping the new stuff. The skits can be funny too and I get to know the characters better with the skits. This game is really cool, actually." It's time to speed this post up, though. I'll be going faster and doing more short versions/storytelling.
We sail across seas and bow we are at Palmacosta!!! Here's where things get a little weird and stuff too. So Palmacosta is cool. We look through town, only to find imposters. That's right. These fools are pretending to be me and my gang. Im the one with a cool group and shit. People wanna be me so bad!!! Lol.
By the way. General Dorr is also the Mayor of Palmacosta.
Imposters are rude and we meet mayor who seems cool till he tells us he thought the imposters were us and gave them a book we need. So....little me is like
"YOU DID WHAT!?" .... so we leave. Lol
We go to mountain gate, cant pass yet, learn Palmacosta is under attack by ... you guessed it... Desians. ,
*little me has eyes stretch wide open* But I was just there!!!! Sucks, I know.
So we head back and make it to Palmacosta. Remember the girl we saved from extreme questioning and customers that were badgering the girl since she was the store clerk/owner. Of course not. I never mentioned it. I saved her back then at the start of Palmacosta. Naturally they chose Chocolate, in some weird, sick revenge way for me making them look weak when they verbally attacked her. So Chocolate is about to hang and be killed. Some stuff happens and Lloyd ends up using his sword to save Chocolate. Boom. He is a hero. He saved someone from hanging....
Wait.... hanging? In kids game? Damn that's a little intense for a kids game but I guess you do save her. Carry on.....
So let's speak to the Mayor. He was conveniently gone while that was happening but meh. Coincidence right? Yeah. Yeah.
Talking to the General/Mayor we decide to go rescue everyone who has been kidnapped from Palmacosta. By the way there's a ranch for most cities that Desian's manage. So there is a Palmacosta Ranch and a bunch of people from Palmacosta are now held prisoners in the Ranch. Boo! But I digress.
Off to Palmacosta ranch!!! We finally reach it and... oh look... General Dorr"s personal Aide/Assistant. What's this? He is a traitor!? You've got to be kidding me! I trusted that dude!!! Maybe that will teach little me to be careful about who I hang out with. A pretty good life lesson for little me and nothing too serious. I'll handle that later though, and rescue the prisoners in the Palmacosta Ranch.
We save Chocolate but she would almost rather die than be saved by you. So you save her but not without a fight and learning some shocking stuff that little me is like "WHAAAA!!!???!??? NO WAY NO WAY NO WAY!!!!!!!! she still lives cause of you and you fight the leader of the Ranch and win that battle!!!
So yay!!! You won the battle and beat Palmacosta Ranch! Good job little you! You did awesome!!! The game has been really great, with a pretty light tone for the most part. Everything is bright, the enemies arent that bad at all, nothing truly fucked up has ha---"we're going to blow up the Ranch with people still in it" -Raine.
That's right.... "YOU'RE GONNA WHAT!?!?"
So yeah, we blow up Palmacosta Ranch. Desians were probably still inside along with a janitor named Chet that everyone forgot about lol. So bye bye Ranch!!!
"That got dark really fast and Raine is pretty ruthless but most people escaped. I guess I can kind of forgive that. This game is definitely darker than I thought but it could be worse. Most people escaped anyways I am sure. So it's not that bad." -me.
Back to Palmacosta to confront the traitor General Dorr!! Here we are! General Dorr and his daughter are standing suspiciously in the basement of the government building in Palmacosta. I'm sure he knows that he has been found out. I know he tried to sabotage the Chosen's journey. He has no exc--- OH NO! They got his wife with the Demon Seed, too!! Now she is a monster! No wonder he is a traitor. He is trying to get a potion which is the cure to save his wife. I kind of get it but that's pretty messed up. He is basically being held hostage. This game just got a little darker.... but it could be worse, I suppo----WHAT!? HIS DAUGHTER IS A DEMON! DID SHE JUST SAY SHE KILLED HIS DAUGHTER A LONG TIM AGO AND HE WAS TOO STUPID TO NOTICE!?"
She really just called him stupid and is acting like he is the biggest idiot for not knowing she killed his daughter!!! This whole time she has pretended to be his daughter. That means she probably went to her school, played with her friends, talked to her dad and played with him. She probably told him she loved him which is so messed up. She also knew there was no potion but continued to watch him and be ready to kill him if he tried to snitch about his wife. This got dark really fucking fast wtf!!! She is a complete demon stranger in a girls body pretending she loves her daddy, plays with friends, and does child things but is a demon the whole time. "I love you daddy says the demon pretending to be your daughter. That's really sick and twisted. Sad thing is little me is like "well that's weird. How did no one notice at all she was acting odd?
Maybe she didn't have any friends and her dad is to distracted about the medicine for his wife, he doesn't notice.
That's absolutely crazy and completely dark. Woah. This game is way way darker than it lead me to believe when I was young. That was pretty much my first reaction/playthrough when I was little. Symphonia is dark as fuck.
I played a little bit further to the next ranch my first playthrough but quit when I found out they were killing people like it was nothing. I was really little then, too, btw. I quit because it got really dark and kind of weird and complicated to fully grasp everything going on and the parallels to the real world. I always played RPGs relating it to real life and such. I have done that since my first RPG so with Symphonia I had to quit. It was too dark and weird when I first played it.
Once I came back and beat Symphonia I thought it was Brilliant. It was absolutely amazing and worth so much more praise. I loved it and still do. Even the dark side of things.
Turns out I am not the only one who did this. Play through, reach a dark part or part where you realize how dark it is, and then quit. I'm glad I picked it back up, though. It's almost a perfect game!!!
So yeah... here's a playthrough of little me and Symphonia. I was too little to be playing games with dark themes even if they were short or small. I say this because I was stupid small and really let my imagination run wild when I played games and read. I often make things 20 times worse so I really shouldn't have played Symphonia till later.
Anyways it's amazing. Nearly perfect.
Enjoy your games, everyone. If you arent currently doing so, find a Tales game to pick up and start playing!!! Tales of Arise or some other Tales game will be here before you know it so practice up!!! Play a Tales game!!!
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I have wandered into your tumblr and I want to know absolutely everything about your ideas for Earth 3 Impetus and Motion. EVERYTHING. Possibly the least relevant part of that is the family line, as Earth 3 often has really skewed versions of the characters. Would the first Johnny Quick even have a speedster grandson when he was killed and his blood used to power his successors?
Oh, cool ask! Thank you!
😄 I’m very happy to talk about this but I’m afraid you may be disappointed, because I’m Doing It Wrong. I’ve been working off and on on a bespoke Earth-3 for the past…several years. Production has slowed but not stopped. It’s up to over 300,000 words on AO3 at this point.
The issue that set me off was that tendency to skew; I didn’t like it. I found that, most of the times DC had built into Earth-3 before rebooting again, there were two countervailing currents leading writing decisions. On the one hand to make things As Wrong As Possible compared to the main timeline, and on the other to just make them…arbitrarily different.
Lois Lane is Superwoman, evil counterpart of Wonder Woman, for some reason, woop-de-do; this fits under both categories.
This process worked neither according to the ‘timeline that diverged into a Bad Timeline at some point in the distant past but somehow contains versions of the same people in the same place’ premise of the original Star Trek ‘Mirror, Mirror’ episode, nor does it work according to any direct cosmic principle of inversion, although some of the early versions claimed to.
(See: Mirror Christopher Columbus discovered Europe and then later Evil George Washington conquered England for the American Empire, what even guys. 😩)
Also Earth-3 so transparently existed almost every time it was reinvented as a place to get villains from, and to look bad in comparison to the main timeline, without any attention to making it work internally, which I thought was a damn waste of a cool concept. ‘A damn waste of a cool concept’ drives a lot of fanwork lol.
So for my world, I had the slightly conflicting goals of working as close to that amorphous thing ‘canon’ as possible, and of making the setting stand on its own, as a superhero setting, with internal causality and more or less the usual sort of hero-versus-villain logic. So I inverted the alignments of only superheroes and supervillains, and kept as much as possible of their backstories intact.
This means my stuff doesn’t map onto any canon Earth-3, especially not the one from Forever Evil because that came out after I’d already gotten all the big things pinned down. 😅 Some people get upset about this and come yell at me about how i.e. Owlman is Thomas Wayne Junior. But since I always saw that particular concept as a huge cop-out from looking at how few alterations it takes to turn Bruce Wayne into a spectacular villain, I was like ‘nuts to that’ from the start.
If you’re cool with my relationship with canon, on we go.
-&-
So, Impetus and Motion! I don’t remember what I said on that one post where I remember blathering about it, so forgive me if I repeat myself. ^^
Lineage is the same as canon, technically. I’ll go over it; if you don’t care just skip ahead to the next subsection. 😄
Mirror Barry Allen, the Dash, got his villain name for his signature kill technique of grabbing someone, hyperaccelerating them, and then letting go at the right moment that they get dashed against something immovable and go splat. He dashes people against things.
(His eventual sidekick, Blaze, got his for liking to make things combust by accelerating their molecules. The combination makes them sound like a pair of racehorses, which they did not intend and are very annoyed by when it’s pointed out.)
The Dash is pretty scary, especially because most of the ways he abuses his speed for profit are so low-key nobody even notices (i.e. screwing with the stock market) and he doesn’t need to be a supervillain. He just likes it.
His public villain profile is relatively low for the level of danger he poses, tho, because his town is infested with really dumb superheroes who beat him embarrassingly often, when he actually turns up to fight or is successfully ambushed. And with the occasional exception the scale of his crimes is fairly small compared to i.e. Ultraman.
Keeping him imprisoned is ridiculously difficult, tho. He can’t be completely depowered (because the Speed Force is external to him and all the power dampeners that are used assume they’re trying to shut off something generated internally) and he’s really smart, so it took years of battles to keep him long enough to transfer into a proper cell even, and longer to get an unblurred look at his face.
His secret identity survived so long that Barry Allen was there to comfort Iris West after she was targeted by the Dash on several occasions, and they were married by the time he got ultimately unmasked.
She left him after that and moved back to the future, which she was still from because that’s hilarious, but he eventually tracked her down and promised to reform if she’d take him back. This obviously fell apart eventually, but not until after the twins were born.
I haven’t mapped out the mirror Thawne line. I assume the Thawnes with healing powers who inadvertently adopted Barry’s twin were much nicer in this timeline but idk if he ever became Cobalt Blue or what. I hope he lived to old age. Apparently there have been multiple Cobalts Blue? Idk idc, Flash continuity what even are you.
Everyone thought Eobard Thawne was nuts, but he actually did go back in time and stop the Dash from destroying the world with nukes in a fit of rage, his historical analysis, method of giving himself speed powers, and time machine were all successful. He may additionally suffer from some degree of psychosis, but he wasn’t wrong. (His little brother still exists in this universe because good!Eobard wasn’t the type to manipulate time to erase inconvenient family members. He also doesn’t have the title Professor because he never got tenure, so he just goes by Zoom.)
-&-
Bart is still Don and Meloni’s kid. Frankly I don’t understand those two in the normal timeline, so it’s hard to construct their mirror versions in any depth or even decide whether they should get mirrored. (Probably not tbh.) But I don’t exactly need to, because the resulting Bart is very much the same and thus doesn’t really know them. He was still born with his weird speed glitch that caused him to be raised in a simulation, and eventually time-traveled to un-glitch him.
The difference is that he’s not a nice kid. He’s a two year old who looks twelve and has received all his socialization from reasonably good AI in a world that was not real. Where nothing had consequences. Where nobody was real.
He’s very frightening, is Impetus. Impetuous, wildly powerful, selfish–oddly sweet, occasionally, in the ‘gay and innocent and heartless’ way of Peter Pan, but probably even more likely than Peter to knife someone. He’s so delighted the first time he eats actual ice cream, as opposed to a simulated version, but the ice cream stand is now on fire.
Mirror Bart isn’t so much cruel or even un-empathetic as solipsistic. He’s arrested in the state of an intellectually advanced toddler playing, what’s that game called, the one where the objective seems to be getting in car chases a lot? When was the last time they made a new one, I feel like I haven’t heard it mentioned in ages, it’s a dead franchise isn’t it I’m old. Grand Theft Auto! That’s it. He doesn’t just not understand that danger is real, the way Impulse started out. People aren’t.
Impetus is easily bored and surrounded by NPCs. It gets ugly, sometimes.
He also time-travels a lot more frequently than normal Bart, because he doesn’t really get attached so he doesn’t try to maintain a normal life of any kind, so he pops up all over the timestream.
Jason Blood hated him personally long before Bart had any idea who he was; they have a villain rivalry plagued by causality issues and closed time loops that is alternately epic and stupid as fuck.
And then there’s Thad. Thad’s had a less awful time than he did in canon, I think–President Thawne is not technically a supervillain so he’s probably about the same as in the original timeline, but even assuming Meloni and Don are still out of the picture (probably it’s Barry’s fault in this dimension?) raising a kid as a ‘defense mechanism against a supervillain’ calls for less extreme brainwashing fuckery than raising one to hunt down a superhero.
So he probably behaved a bit more like a reasonable grandparent, simply because the context incentivized him to emphasize concepts like duty and loyalty more, and hatred less. He might even have been able to go public with Thad’s existence, depending on the spin he came up with. Among other factors.
But it was still a depressing, isolated, dehumanizing way to grow up, and it went on a long time, because as per canon Thad has the opposite problem from Bart in terms of how he passes through time. Motion is a 40-year-old man with a 12 year old’s body and approximate life experience.
Thad was already So Tired when he finally got out into the world on his own, and once he encountered Impetus he learned pretty quickly to both pity and fear him.
Even when Thad tries to avoid Bart and just have a life, Bart always crashes back into his existence again, and in the meantime he feels guilty. Because even if he could completely shake off having been raised to see countering Impetus as his whole reason for existence, he’d still feel a lot of personal responsibility to try, because he has the ability to stand up to him in a way almost no one else does, and he knows Bart’s out there resulting in casualties.
Due to all the time travel involved, even having just defeated Impetus doesn’t mean he’s not still out there at an accessible point in the timestream, needing to be stopped.
Impetus results in Motion the way Inertia resists Impulse. They’re very much locked into an action-and-reaction framework that does not even a little bit help with Thad’s clone identity issues.
Except for how the amount of time Thad spends saving people from Bart has slowly created a fairly large body of people over the course of history who know them as distinct entities, and like Thad a lot better.
Good feels good. ^^ It’s not necessarily the case that this happens, obviously, but with their alignment swap they also ultimately exchanged who’s defined by isolation. It takes Bart a long, long time to even understand that he’s lonely.
#flash family#thaddeus thawne#earth-3#my take#bart allen#impetus and motion#the opposite of an evil twin#i hope this was the desired amount of everything#barry allen#BARRENCE#good and evil#mirror universe#ask#hoc est meum#wyldcard4
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685.
what was going through your mind during the presidential campaign? were you relieved when it was over?
>> This survey is from early 2009 and let me tell you, I don’t even remember the 2008 election anymore. I’ll be fucking relieved when this year’s is over, though (although depending on who wins, the noise might keep going right through the end of the year, so I may get no relief).
what do you think of the Duggar family ( 17+ kids )? could you handle taking care of that many children?
>> I have my share of uncharitable thoughts about families with that many children, but I’d rather not give voice to that kind of rudeness. It’s nothing to do with me, anyway. I couldn’t handle taking care of one child, so that’s that on that.
in your opinion, do you think that you act your age? what do other people think?
>> I don’t know what it is to act a certain number of years old. I don’t know what other people think regarding this and I really don’t care.
what is the nicest thing you have ever done for a stranger?
>> Nothing comes to mind.
so far, what is the number one, best decision you have ever made? how has it effected your life?
>> I find it difficult to think of my life in terms of decisions I’ve made, and direct results of those decisions. That’s just not how things work -- I’ve made choices, but the things that happened after those choices are not necessarily direct results of the choices I made. The element of other people and the element of randomness play equal parts, too.
have you reunited with any old friends recently? was it awkward, or just like old times?
>> No.
when was the last time you talked to your first ex?
>> ---
how different is your online personality from your offline personality?
>> It’s the same personality, dude. It might manifest somewhat differently because of the difference in communication style (typed dialogue vs face-to-face dialogue), and that’s all.
have you made any headway on any new year's resolutions?
>> I don’t make resolutions.
what are your favorite holiday-themed movies?
>> It’s a Wonderful Life, Rise of the Guardians, Klaus, Love Actually.
do you listen to christmas-/winter-themed music when the season comes around?
>> I sure do.
if you could create a law, what would it be, and why? what if you could take one away? which, and why?
>> I have zero interest in the law.
is there anything that you do that's potentially controversial?
>> Well, sure, depending on one’s worldview. I’m sure some special people out there don’t think I should even be alive, in which case my very existence is controversial.
would you ever sign up for a reality television show? if yes: which one, why, and how would you act while on tv?
>> No. Absolutely fucking not. NO.
what is your most recent obsession?
>> Hmm... Heartman from Death Stranding, maybe. Low-grade obsession, but it counts.
do you say "merry christmas" or "happy holidays"? to you, does it really matter which one is said / you say? do you do your best to remain politically correct?
>> I repeat whatever is said to me first, because that’s usually how such interactions go -- I rarely initiate any sort of seasonal greeting like this.
if you could relive one week of your life, which would it be, and why? would you do anything differently, or keep it all the same?
>> I would really rather not.
is there a part of your life you wish you could remember, but can't?
>> Sometimes I get frustrated with the patchiness and distance, so to speak, of my memory, but I’ve come to expect it. Most of these memories aren’t specifically mine, after all.
what was the last thing / event to trigger a painful memory?
>> A lot of my memories are painful because they make me feel alien and disjointed, or like I’ve “lost” something important, or whatever. So, like, I don’t know if anything triggers that, sometimes I just randomly remember shit.
if you had to give up one of your 5 senses, which would it be?
>> No thanks.
what do you think of people that choose not to vote?
>> I don’t think anything of them. That’s their right. The fuck do I care? Also, I was one of those people until very recently, and I still don’t feel any better or like a better citizen or whatever for having begrudgingly registered.
are you keeping anything from the people you love?
>> I mean, not intentionally, I guess.
have you ever written a suicide note, whether joking or not?
>> No.
what is the worst physical pain you have endured?
>> Cramps.
what is one thing that you want other people to know about you? why is it so important that someone knows this?
>> Meh.
what is something you wish people DIDN'T know about you? what would be different if they didn't?
>> I have Trauma Brain so I irrationally wish no one knew anything about me because vulnerability bad.
what is the worst question that someone could possibly ask you? what about the worst thing that someone could say to you?
>> *shrug*?
would you consider yourself a sensitive person? why, or why not?
>> I don’t know. Maybe there is a sensitive person in here somewhere, but it’s buried in all the noise from Trauma Brain. Or maybe Trauma Brain is the sensitive person turned in on itself. I don’t fucking know, next.
you can spend the day with anyone, living or dead; who do you choose? what do you do / where do you go?
>> ---
when was the last time you let something 'go to your head'?
>> I don’t really know.
when are you most likely to show off?
>> I don’t show off. I have nothing to show off, lol.
which would you prefer: spectacular view of the ocean, or of the mountains?
>> I like both views. I don’t see why I should have to choose. I live on a landmass where you can easily make trips to see both. (Well, considering travel expenses, “easily” might not be the right word. But.)
do you follow any dating rules / play any dating games?
>> No.
when was the last time you felt extremely confident about something?
>> Good question.
how do you, personally, know when you are falling in love?
>> ---
when was the last time you blew the seeds off of a dandelion?
>> Maybe last spring? I don’t know. I do enjoy doing that very much, though.
in your opinion, which holiday is the least important?
>> All of the United States-specific ones are just. Trash.
what was the last thing that happened that you couldn't explain?
>> I can think of an explanation for anything. Whether the explanation makes any sense to anyone else but me is the question.
what do you do with all of your spare change?
>> ---
where did you hear about your all-time favorite band?
>> ---
how many cans of soda do you drink in a day?
>> Zero.
what is your idea of paradise?
>> I never bothered thinking of one. Maybe Inworld is the closest thing.
what do you think goes on in the minds of the opposite sex?
>> You know. Thoughts.
what is the oldest thing that you own? and the newest?
>> I have no idea what the oldest thing I own is, but I guarantee you it’s not more than 4 years old. The newest thing is an eyeshadow palette and a lipstick that Sparrow got me.
is there anything you wish you had never found out about?
>> Probably.
describe your handwriting?
>> I don’t know how to describe it. It’d probably be pretty difficult to forge.
have you ever had to choose between friends and family? if yes, what happened?
>> No.
in what ways has music affected your life?
>> Many ways. It’s a very integral part of my life and has been since childhood. It’s the one constant (aside from Inworld).
what is something that you refuse to believe in?
>> I don’t refuse to believe in anything. Some systems just don’t work for me so I don’t use them. They might exist for someone, but they don’t for me.
what is something you wish more people believed in?
>> ---
what food is your ultimate comfort food?
>> I don’t think I have one.
have you ever put anything inside a time capsule? what?
>> When I was pretty young, I tried to make one. But I opened it within like, a year. I couldn’t imagine waiting for like... ten years or whatever because I couldn’t even fathom that kind of time, lmao.
how did you come up with your bzoink screen name? what would you change it to, if you could?
>> It’s just one of my standard usernames. I really only registered to avoid seeing that “this is a rated R survey” screen and having to click through it every time.
when was the last time you experienced deja vu?
>> I don’t remember. Maybe never.
what do you do when someone snarkily corrects your grammar?
>> Ignore them.
what was the last thing that you put quotations around?
>> Part of my answer three questions ago.
in the time it took you to fill this out, what else could you have done?
>> Well, it’s taken me a half-hour, so I could have done a lot of things in that time. Watched a show episode, eaten, done a dance, idk.
is there too much violence on tv, or are people to sensitive?
>> There is a lot of violence on television. People should be sensitive to violence, because desensitisation to violence has led to a lot of bad shit. Personally, I’m mostly desensitised to fictional violence and that probably is becuase I’ve seen a fuckton of it, but fictional violence isn’t the same as real-life violence, and I would probably still react more acutely to violence that’s literally happening in front of me.
what is one "junk food" you enjoy?
>> I refuse to label foods like this. It’s reductive and unhelpful.
what is one "health food" you enjoy?
>> ^
what is something you used to fear, but no longer do?
>> Thunderstorms.
who was your first hero?
>> ---
is there anything your friends won't let you forget?
>> No?
is there something you have trouble putting into words?
>> There are many things I have trouble verbalising.
when was the last time you were at a loss for words?
>> I don’t remember.
what bothers you most about getting older?
>> The increased likelihood of disease and infirmity.
have you ever flown all by yourself? how was it?
>> Many times. It’s lovely.
if you have one hour left to live, how do you spend it?
>> ---
do you think it's important to know a 2nd language?
>> Sure, but it might not be important to someone else, and that’s fine.
do you know anyone that's just naturally good at almost everything?
>> No.
do you know anyone that's just bad at everything?
>> No.
what is one emoticon you use often?
>> xD
what is one emoticon you almost never use?
>> Hmm.... I can’t think of one.
do you use emoticons to express yourself?
>> Sure. That’s what they’re there for.
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RWBY Recaps: Vol. 5 "True Colors"
This is a re-posting from October 4th, 2018 in an effort to get all my recaps fully on tumblr. Thanks!
Guess who’s back, back again
Clyde is back, tell a friend
How long will my focus and work ethic last? Who knows, but with Volume 6 on the horizon and a fantastic new poster out, I’m feeling like it’s time to dive back into RWBY Recaps. Never too late to guiltily dust off an old project, right?
Right.
We’re back in Volume 5. Yes, I did a bit of Volume 1—extreme illusions of grandeur and productivity there—but we should really round out 5 before 6 comes knocking on the 27th. I’ve got almost a month. Let’s see how well I do, starting with “True Colors.”
We open on an image of Qrow and Ozpin together, notably Ozpin given the prim posture and ever-present coffee mug. Qrow makes the comment that things “aren’t looking good” and really? No shit, bird boy. We’ve gone from “Oh no, Ruby is having trouble becoming a leader!” to “Oh no… Weiss is trying to overcome a racist upbringing…?” and are now firmly in the territory of “OH NO a bunch of our faves are dead and Ozpin is forced to possess a child??” Things haven’t looked good for a while.
Ozpin is ever the optimist though. He points out that yeah, things are bad, but they could also be worse. “Humanity is a resilient force” he says, which oddly enough, sounds a lot like the kind of thing someone not a part of Humanity would say. Jury’s still out on whether Oz was the lowly farmer unfairly cursed by the gods, or a god himself justly punished for some sort of hubris… or something else entirely. It just strikes me as significant that he often distances himself from others in not just actions but speech as well. Could be a glimpse into his true nature, aka someone literally not human. Could also just be the result of spending thousands of years reincarnating while everyone else around you suffers and dies. That’ll make anyone feel subhuman…
Qrow challenges Oz’s happy-go-lucky attitude, reminding us that a huge number of pro huntsmen have been murdered and Salem couldn’t have achieved that on her own. She’s had help—and plenty of it. But Ozpin stands firm that it “doesn’t take a great number of people to cause harm” and there are “far more people in this world willing to prevent it.”
Enter our protagonist.
Subtle!
Ruby is adorable, as always, hesitantly approaching the two of them and awkwardly accepting the invitation to chat. It’s a striking difference in how she acts when it’s just her and Qrow, which is expected. Ozpin remains a much more distant authority figure and now he’s inhabiting the body of a boy her own age. I’d be a little unsure about how to act around him too.
Ruby finally asks what we’ve been worried about since the beginning of this Volume: if Cinder defeated Oz then does that mean Salem now has the Beacon relic? Luckily, no. Oz says he made finding the Beacon relic “a bit more challenging than at the other schools.” So Ruby asks the second question that’s been on our minds…
Ozpin: “No, my cane is not a relic.”
Ruby: “I have no more questions :)”
Okay now wait. I'm calling bullshit lol. That cane is 100% a relic. I mean could I be wrong? Absolutely. But it’s way more fun to be confident so I’m calling Ozpin out on this. For a number of reasons:
1. He’s absolutely the kind of guy to do what no one else expects. “The cane is so obvious!” Yeah, which means everyone will be looking for the relic elsewhere, hidden away like the Haven relic. Who the hell would have it out in the open? Ozpin. He would. Expect the unexpected.
2. He’s alsothe kind of guy who might lie to someone about it. Ozpin has been playing this game a long time and he’s not above a few smiles and carefully placed words if he thinks it’ll keep things on track. The Haven relic is the one currently in danger—no reason to announce the Beacon relic’s location and shift the team’s focus just because a former student asks him for the truth. It’s too dangerous and Ozpin is very adept at, as he says, playing things close to the chest. And I don’t blame him. That’s how you keep humanity alive.
3. The scene doesn’t show us Qrow at all who is a lot less adept at lying, to say nothing of the fact that—if he knows about the relic—he wouldn’t feel good lying specifically to Ruby.
4. Ozpin’s previous comment about how this relic is a “bit more challenging” seems significant. That is, why ONLY make the Beacon relic so difficult to find? All the relics are important so why not give them all the same precautions? Well, the answer is simple if your precaution is something you can only do for one of them: keep the relic with you.
5. Qrow, arguably Ozpin’s closest friend (husband-friend), was entrusted with getting the cane back to him and it’s used as the introduction between Oscar and Qrow. Seems like a pretty damn important object.
6. We’ve seen this cane fend off crazy powerful attacks and it never takes any damage. Granted, all the weapons in RWBY are pretty hearty, but Ozpin’s cane seems particularly indestructible. Almost like there’s something similar to magic surrounding it.
7. We’ve still got those gears. That cane transforms into something…
8. The fact that Ozpin immediately homes in on Ruby’s question, quickly counters it, and then tells her to leave (go gather the others). He’s in charge of the conversation here.
9. The fact that the scene suddenly turns light-hearted and humorous. We’re meant to shrug this moment off and not think too hard about it. Well, too late now.
Granted, Oz has a good explanation here. He states firmly that the cane is indeed precious, though only to him, and that it still “has a few tricks up its sleeve.” Nothing he says counters what we already know, yet it doesn’t reveal any of his cane’s secrets either. We’re still in the dark. So until we’re not I remain suspicious about his claim that it’s totally definitely absolutely not a relic.
(The headmaster doth protest too much.)
(Edit Feb. 2019: I was so wrong, folks!!)
But we’re moving on. Qrow gets a call from Lionheart asking them to meet up with him to discuss potentially going on the offensive against the bandits. Ruby is ecstatic and runs off. Ozpin? Not so much. He and Qrow both comment on how strange it is that Lionheart has suddenly changed his tune and the addition of some creepy music all but beats us over the head with, “It’s a trap!!” This time when Qrow says that things aren’t looking good Ozpin’s only response is, “I know.” So much for the pep talk.
We cut to Lionheart himself, having just finished up that call, and as we pull back who should we find but Raven. She makes blunt what we already know, “I never expected that you would be the one with the guts to betray Oz” while we get a nice crane shot so that we can see Raven circling him, standing while he’s seated—a predator stalking prey.
Though of course it’s not actually courage driving their actions here. It’s cowardice. At least Lionheart is willing to admit it. He says straight out that he’s terrified of Salem and doesn’t think anyone can beat her, so why not join the winning side? Raven, meanwhile, is still firmly in denial. “I’m not scared,” she says. “I’m smart.” Please, girl. You’ve spent your whole life running and you don’t know how to stop now. “Man up,” Raven continues (god that’s a terrible phrase). “You did what you needed to do to survive. There’s no shame in that,” which is where we see the divide between their morals and everyone else surrounding Team RWBY. They’re scared, but they fight despite their fear because they know it’s necessary to help both others and themselves. Raven is only out for herself and her selfish actions hurt family (Qrow), children (Yang), friends (her tribe), and allies (Ozpin) in the process.
“Who are you trying to convince?” Lionheart asks her. It's great seeing a villain who knows exactly where the line is even as they can’t help but cross it. RIP the complex ones.
We move back to Menagerie where Ilia and the others are still leading the attack on Blake’s family. Kali if BAMF here, snatching up a tray as both defense and weapon when her gun runs out of ammo. We get to see her clocking Yuma before we catch up with Blake and Ilia—and I enjoy the contrast in colors between these two scenes, from full blown battle (cold) to friends-turned-enemies (warm):
Ilia spouts the same arguments as Raven: she doesn’t have a choice about her actions. Violence is the only way to survive. Despite the rhetoric Blake is willing to let her go, but Ilia has other plans. The fight, while not spectacular, does showcase the clear parallels between them—both in their arguments and the use of long/short range weaponry. When asked why she doesn’t leave Blake responds that she runs away too much. Beyond the obvious theme from our title—everyone showing their “True Colors”—the focus of this episode is quite obviously who’s willing to fight for others and who’s only out for themselves; who’s able to distinguish between when a literal fight is necessary and when another avenue can be taken. We see time and time again that Team RWBY is leagues ahead of others in terms of that kind of maturity.
From a world building perspective I appreciate Ilia’s use of her camouflaging skills. It’s rare that we see the Faunus actually using their animal abilities (beyond Sun swinging around on his tail) and that’s definitely a useful one in battle… though it's undermined somewhat by having a weapon that lights up with electricity. Gotta think that one through…
And then Blake sETS THE HOUSE ON FIRE? Damn, girl! This isn’t even a real battle—at least not between the two of them. Ilia says two seconds later that Blake isn’t taking this seriously, neither of them truly wants to kill the other, so is burning down your house really the best option here? I always knew Blake was secretly the most dramatic of the bunch.
(That’s a lie. I'm sorry. The most dramatic is clearly Weiss, but she’d be proud of Blake’s ridiculously over-the-top strategy here, I’m sure.)
Blake manages to pin Ilia and keeps trying to talk her down. It works. Sort of. Ilia starts to cry as she admits that she doesn’t know what else to do, but at that moment Ghira comes crashing through the wall with another fight at his heels. (This family is rich enough that they don't care about the property damage.) And then we get this,
This is a sharp reminder that though Blake and Ilia might be fighting more with words than fists, the same can’t be said for her parents. They are, notably, in very real danger. The fight picks back up with Ilia clearly torn now between her loyalties. She defends herself though when Sun joins the fray, pausing only when Blake begs the two of them to stop. However, their fighting has already cracked the pillar holding up the second story and Ilia gets caught underneath. Surprisingly, she’s saved by Ghira (which tells us more about his character than all his bickering with Sun ever could) and there’s a nifty bit of teamwork used to get him out—Sun’s copies hold up the balcony; Blake uses her weapon to pull her dad to safety. The brother (Fennec) who tries to attack him from behind is justifiably crushed under the rubble.
Kali is safe and joins the gang. The fight is basically over, but Corsac attacks out of pure grief and rage, allowing Ilia to stun him from behind. Now I’ve got a lot of feelings about Ilia, most of which boil down to just plain not liking her. I already explained in depth my issues with her being the (so far) sole queer character on the show and this is now compounded with her supposed “redemption.” There are problems inherent in making the (again, only) queer character an antagonist, but there are more problems in making them an antagonist and then refusing to stand by that. Rooster Teeth had her as a complex villain and then the moment she was revealed to have feelings for Blake it’s, “Never mind! She’s good now!” in the span of half an episode.
And how does this redemption occur? Ilia attacks Blake and goes after Blake’s parents. She continues to attack them after being given numerous chances to walk away. She turns on her allies… only after the fight is won. If Ilia were a different kind of character her stunning Corsac could have easily been seen as a survival strategy rather than a true change of heart. They’re now outnumbered four to two, so—like Lionheart—why not quickly join the winning side? I honestly wish Ilia was out to double cross Blake if only because that would be consistent with her loyalties up until now. It would make sense.
In the grand scheme of things though these are minor points. What strikes me as far more significant is 1. that Ilia and her allies could have killed Kali and Ghira. I admit that she wasn’t fighting Blake full out, but the purpose of this attack was to assassinate her parents and the fight did lead to at least one death. That’s not just something you bounce back from. Maybe I’m an asshole, but I couldn’t wave that away as a “bad decision” like Blake does. They could have died. And 2. the most important of all, we’ve yet to see any true change in her thinking or ideology! Ilia joins the gang because she lost and she's left standing around awkwardly with Blake—the girl she’s in love with. Would Ilia have second-guessed her actions if they'd succeeded in their mission? I doubt it. In the aftermath of failure she's contrite, but Ilia was pretty damn adamant about killing humans---and the Belladonnas---just a few minutes ago. If her redemption is based on circumstance and her one-sided crush… that’s not a redemption I can get behind.
But it’s what we’re rushed into. Blake gives a rousing speech about how no, they can’t just use humans as a scapegoat for this attack. They can’t allow figureheads like Adam to speak for them. She says that they’re all “looking for simple answers to a very complex problem” and that despite it not being what they want to hear, she doesn’t know how to just “make hate go away.” That’s a huge development from the girl who went to Mountain Glenn and said passionately that she was going to change the world, but without any concrete ideas as to how to do that. Now Blake can admit her own ignorance and knows at the very least what not to do. They’re not going to change the world through violence like this—they won’t change it for the better, anyway.
I’m with her through all that, up until Blake agrees to take Ilia to Haven. The guard yells out, “You’re just going to forgive her? After all she’s done?” and Blake says only, “Yes.” You know what that is? It’s a simple answer to a very complex problem. It’s painted as admirable on her part—Ghira says she’s learned the lesson of how powerful forgiveness can be—but I think this is RWBY’s fairy-tale simplicity shining through and it doesn’t fit with the heavy material we've been tackling the last few volumes. There’s a big difference between forgiving someone and making sure that they face consequences for their actions. There’s a difference between forgiving them and thinking practically about whether you can or should trust them with your safety and the safety of others. Hell, forgiveness usually takes more than five minutes and often times doesn’t happen at all! Ilia has done none of the work to justify Blake’s forgiveness and though having forgiveness handed to you might read as a beautiful ideal, it doesn’t work well in the gritty, complicated, racially loaded storyline that Rooster Teeth keeps trying to pull off. It feels cheap in the face of all that Blake suffered through this volume, especially when they turn Ilia’s actions into a literal joke. She stabbed Sun? No big deal! He pinched her and now they’re even! How much of a joke would this be if Ghira had suddenly collapsed from his own wound? Or Kali hadn't casually rejoining them entirely unharmed? Maybe I’m more bitter than I thought, but Ilia’s redemption feels like an unintended smack in the face.
The townspeople buy into the happy picture though and we get a chorus of them agreeing to join Blake in the fight to defend Haven. Plans are made to arm, train, and transport the people of Menagerie in two weeks time. Getting civilians into fighting shape that quickly might be a challenge, but at least Blake knows a ship captain who owes her a favor.
And that’s where we end this episode—forging a path for the future. Stay tuned for the next episode “The More the Merrier” as we count down to the Volume 6 premiere!
Other Details of Note
In that opening shot we have what looks like a pretty generic print on the wall—who doesn’t like sunsets?—except that it also shows a crescent moon without the broken pieces. Artist’s interpretation? Time before the moon’s demise? Animator’s forgetting about it while drawing the random painting that viewers are only going to see for about two seconds? You decide!
I really appreciate that Ozpin praises Ruby for being the first to realize the potential implications of the Beacon relic. She’s praised for her skill with Crescent Rose and for being one of the youngest to attend Beacon, but it’s rare that people comment on Ruby’s intellect. She’s smart as hell with one of the more strategic minds of the group—that’s partly why she makes such a good leader. It’s good to see someone, particularly her headmaster, acknowledging that.
After Qrow gets the call from Lionheart he immediately reaches for his flask… despite still having a steaming drink beside him. Apparently working with this guy was tough even before they knew he was loyal to Salem.
Edit Feb. 2019: Lionheart says that “I’ve done things Ozpin will never forgive” and that’s one hell of a loaded line after hearing Ozpin’s thoughts on Lionheart in Volume 6.
“Sorry, Dad” Blake says right before she burns down their library. Somehow I don't think 'sorry' cuts it in this situation...
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✨🌸Spring is coming🌸✨ Go out on cute lil dates with your mutuals. Tag one for each and tell them why you chose them. (coffee date, concert date, hiking date, amusement park date, picnic date, blind date with a mutual you don't know well but want to get closer with)
aahh!!! this is such a cute idea!!! thank you for sending me!! I’m sorry this took a long time! ^^
coffee date ☕
@honeywonu I feel like there’s just so many things Lani and I could talk about!! Ranging from laughing our ass from the latest mishap that happened to us (but mostly her. pls be careful, bub. one does not simply accidentally walk into the highway dsajhdjsahf) to talking about our future co-owned coffee shop (which I can’t wait for!). I honestly think she always has something interesting (and funny!) to say and it’s easy for me to smile and laugh whenever she talks.
@lycheechann my sweet, sweet bby!!! I know for a fact that a coffee date w/ Ally would be so fun omg!!! She’s just such a vibrant and talkactive person and she always fill my silences and I can definitely see myself just listen to you hyping over Chan and Jungwoo while sipping on some frap.
@binhwansgf ELENAAA!!! Wow, honestly I don’t know how you put up with me but given the chance, I would love to go on a coffee date with you! You’re such a fun person to talk to and I always have a blast whenever we chat! I can totally see us grabbing some coffee while raving about the latest boyband you stan and all the AUs that would ensue djkdhkqdh.
@bfwooz ok one of the reasons why I think a coffee date with Hani would be so much fun because I feel like we could talk about all the possible AUs and plots for our stories! We tend to be chaotic and off-the-rail when we plan the newest project lol. But let’s be real, she’s such a fun, kind and crazy person and I’m down with it as long as she doesn’t try to expose my ass (as if there’s anything to be exposed anyways).
concert date 🎤
@forevershua I don’t know why but I feel like it would be such a blast to bring Ryan to a concert date!! I find her really cool and funny and I find that she always has something interesting to say! I definitely look up to her and I think she’ll make such a great concert buddy! It’d also be amusing to watch her fangirl over Joshua in real-time so there’s that!!!
@whalien-in-luv I feel like Sam would know all the best music and artists and I would love to talk to her more about all the good animes and watching them while we wait for the concert hall to open lol (bc waiting without the proper friend and entertainment is…it’s sad, okay). Sam always has such funny and interesting stories to tell and it’s always fun to just have her talk about the things she loves!
@oatmealupdates I feel like Lynna would be so fun to bring on a concert date!!! I think she’s that person who turns up at the concert looking cool af and I want to learn from her fjhdjsh. But in all honesty tho, Lynna is such a fun person to talk to so it wouldn’t even feel like you’re waiting for long when you’re with her and I feel like we’d jam so hard to all the songs!!
hiking date 🌄
@khanhwrites Not sure if you’re an outdoor person or not, Khanh, but I honestly picked you to go on a hiking date together because I feel like we both need to actually go outside for once instead of cooping around in our houses and for you to take a break for everything (and the fact that I just wanna torture you but that’s another story sdhas).
@princeshushu Clar!!! Hhh it’s been a while since we talked but going on a hiking date with you sounds like so much fun!!! I’d really like to go on a night hike with you to watch the stars at the summit. Imagine all the constellations and the spectacular view of the stars! I imagine you’d be super inspired by it. Also, it’d be nice to set up a camp and huddle up in blankets as we make s’mores while watching the night sky!!!
@jieqs Elli is just too sweet and I really do wanna go on a hiking date with you! Imagine the amazing scenery we’d get to see on the way up so I’d definitely bring a camera to snap pics of you!!! (BC PLEASE I’M NOT PHOTOGENIC AT ALL IT’LL ALL BE YOUR PICS BC BEAUTY+BEAUTY=COMPLETE). Also idk why I had the idea of bringing you some snack so we can eat it by the time we reach the summit and maybe watch the sunset/sunrise together and go “Elli, it’s you!! The sun!!””. Also did you say you’ll bring Orion because I’m very down for that, too.
amusement park date 🎡
@jiminyoongs Fran the Gran!!! Okay, so I can already see ourselves arguing over which rides we’re going on next and maybe get some roasting but I know I will have a grand good ol’ time spending my day with you and goofing off like crazy while waiting in line!!! I definitely want to take you on a ride on the ferris wheel at sunset and scare you by rocking it hard maybe.
@softhaos Idk why, Dara, but I feel like it would be so much fun to spend a day with you at the amusement park!! You’re such a fun person and I could already see us having fun in the house of mirrors and maybe the haunted house if you’re up for it! But I honestly feel like you could wreck me if we try to compete with each other on the bumper car ride shdsahf
@rainniedae IAN MY BABY!!! It’s actually my long-time dream to go to the amusment park without which haven’t been realized yet :( Imagine all the ice cream and rides we’d have fun on together! I want nothing more than getting my wig snatched on a roller coaster and drag you into the haunted house (where I, quite frankly, will probably sh** myself) but the day I can finally go with you will be the day I am finally complete, love!!
@xuhoon CHLOE!! I know for a fact that Disneyland is such a special place that you hold close in your heart and I want nothing more but to go with you sometime! It’d be fun wearing all those silly headbands, taking pics with the characters and eat our way through the park!
picnic date 🌼
@justsomekpopstuff I see us doing something relaxing, you know! Maybe go on a bike ride around the park??? I feel like you’d need the break from uni and going around enjoying the scenery with the wind in our hair sounds like a nice idea!! And maybe do some dog-watching omg!!
@taetaetrashhh I think Momo would love a picnic date!!! You mentioned once that you do not like snow so I assume you like warm weather a lot more??? I think you’d love to just sit on a blanket and bask in the sun and maybe watch and feed the ducklings like you said!! It’d be really cute!!!
@justkpopjokes Okay but I think Lin is such a great artist and I want to go on a picnic date with her because I wanna see her draw the cherry blossoms?? Adshj it sounds whimsical but imagine having a picnic under all the cherry blossoms and she’d have the sketchbook out and all the petals are falling all around us and it’d be amazing.
@ru-lin Ruth!! I would love to take a walk around the park with you!! Idk why but I would love to walk with you through the park on a cool, spring day! Imagine just hanging out around the pond/lake and feeding all the pretty fish/birds (ok, but birds are scary irl so maybe we can just do the fish). I’d also love to try and go on a rowing boat with you bc it seems so fun!!!
@sunnysidewrites SUNNY!!! I can totally imagine the two of use going on a picnic at a field or something and we’d go cloud-watching. I’d complain about how bright is is because the literal sun is practically lying right next to me!!! I will definitely make and bring all your favorite food and we’d spend the day catching up!!!
blind date 🙈
@lovelycheollie Hannah is such a lovely person to talk to but we haven’t talked much even though we’ve been mutuals for quite sometimes! It’s my fault but I’d love to get to know her more because she’s such an amazing writer and it’s really enjoyable talking to her!!!
@tonicandjins Again, I don’t know how I ended up mutuals with a person as amazing and as talented as Faye but so far from what I know, she’s been nothing short of sweet and friendly!! I hope we can be better friends!!!
@sebongie-loves I’M SORRY I NEVER REPLIED! IT’S MY BAD!!! But you seem really cool and your writings are amazing and I really hope we can finally be friends kafhafh. Plus, we gotta stick together, y’know (and be salty together about the Tumblr ban fffff).
@sugacrackers Mich! You’re such a great person and we’ve been kinda tagging each other on ask games and such but I never got to properly know you and I’m sorry for that! I know that you’re on hiatus rn but tell me when I can hit you up bc I really do wanna be friends with you!!!
@chillihansol HANNI! We haven’t really talked but you’ve always been so sweet and supportive and I’m such a big fan of you and your works and I would really like it if we become better friends in the future!! Thank you so much for everything!!!
#I LOVE U ALL!!!#THIS ASK GOT ME SUPER SOFT!!!#sucks that we dont have spring here but this is what I have in mind!!#lovely mutuals#mutuals#answered
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If Jane Was Here (Noah’s POV) - Ch. 06
Summary: ILITW by Noah’s point of view. Read Chapter 5 here!
Note: F!MC! The chapters are getting longer and longer... Tell me if you think it would be better if I divided them in parts. Also, I'd like to thank @klaudiana-beaumontkk, @yertletheturtle04, @miragemeister and @melisa-kirkland for commenting! <3 Without your support I'd take even more time to write it down! Don't worry, I'll write the whole book, I just am lazy af lol
Rating: PG-13 (swear words, dead sisters, mental health and shadowy monsters)
Pairing: Noah x MC
Word count: 3416
Chapter 6 – A Bitter Pill to Swallow
When he woke up the next day, Noah still was shaken by the dream.
It felt so real. She was so real.
If Jane was here...
He went to school unaware of his surroundings, his mind racing of memories.
Memories of him, Jane, MC and the whole gang playing together. In the woods. With Mr. Red.
...That bastard.
“...Noah! Earth to Noah!” – he snapped out of his thoughts.
He was at school, standing right in front of his locker, in the middle of the hallway. And MC was talking to him.
“Hey! You okay?” – she asked with a worried expression on his face.
He could have lied. He could have shrugged it off and pretended that everything was fine.
Like he’d been doing for ten years.
But he felt like... He could tell the true. Be true to himself and to her. She deserved it. She wouldn’t walk away anymore. She was his friend now. Like how they used to be.
He trusted her.
“I... I dreamt about her.” – his voice was just a whisper, but she heard him.
“And... Was it bad?”
“No... It was good, actually. Really good. Like... as if she was here, you know? With us. All grown up. She was a cheerleader like Stacy. And I guess she had a crush on Lucas...” – he stopped talking suddenly and she waited. – “It’s stupid, I know.”
“It’s not stupid, Noah.”
“No, it is. I mean, we’re all very aware that she’s dead. We were there. So why do I feel so touched by a stupid dream?!”
“It was not a stupid dream.” – she said again, softly.
“It was. And I am stupid too.”
“No! It wasn’t a stupid dream! And you’re not stupid, Noah!” – MC raised her voice. – “It makes sense. You miss her. I—“ – she interrupted herself for a second: “...Sometimes I dream about her too.”
“...Really? About what?”
“They’re more like memories. Of all of us playing. Sometimes it turns into a nightmare. And I remember... you know. That day.” – Noah nodded. He knew pretty well what she was talking about. – “Anyway... nothing is stupid, remember it. And... I’m glad that you told me.”
“Why?”
“Because this means that you’re opening up to me.” – he could see a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. – “And this makes me happy.”
He rolled his eyes and MC saw his cheeks turning pink.
“You make such a deal over nothing...”
“You know it’s not ‘nothing’.” – she answered before pulling him for a hug.
The boy didn’t know what to do, so he tapped her on the head. She released him laughing.
“Anyway, how was the game?” – he asked with his face still red.
“We won! Andy was spectacular! You lost a great game.”
“Did it finish too late? I guess I wouldn’t be brave enough to walk home alone if I was you...”
“Oh, Connor came to watch the game too and he gave me a ride.”
“Really?” – she nodded. – “Uh. Just... the two of you?”
“Yes.” – MC looked at him as if he had a third eye. – “...Don’t tell me you’re jealous, Beanie Boy.”
“I’m not jealous.”
“Yes, you are! You were jealous the other night when we went at the hardware store and I talked to him! C’mon, confess that you’re jealous of Connor Green!”
“Why would I be jealous of him?”
“You tell me!” – she answered playfully.
They were still arguing – actually, MC was still teasing him – when their phones buzzed.
Stacy texted the group that Mayor Green told her which hospital Dan was and that they were going to see him after school.
Anf then, the school bell rang.
After class, Noah went to the parking lot to meet his friends. They were all there, minus Stacy and MC.
The cheerleader appeared a few minutes later with Britney.
“What the fuck is she doing here?” – Noah said right away.
“Did she suffer a major concussion? That’s why she’s here?” – Ava asked.
“Don’t worry, I don’t want to be here either, weirdos.”
“Is everyone here?” – Stacy asked, looking around.
“MC is not here yet.” – Lucas answered, feeling little comfortable with the unwelcome addition.
“Hey, Britney.” – Lily said. Britney smiled back at her.
“Hey, Lil.”
“Uh... Why is she here?” – Andy asked Stacy again, but MC showed up before she could answer.
“What the hell took you so long, MC?” – Britney snapped.
“What’s she doing here?”
“Good question.” – Lucas said.
“She didn’t suffer a major concussion and wander here in a semi-concious fugue. I already asked.”
Britney rolled her eyes to Ava.
“What I’m doing here is leaving, don’t worry. I just came by to...” – she paused, but Stacy nudged her with her foot. She scowled, continuing through clenched teeth: “...to invite you to my party at my house this Saturday.”
“Wow. Did not expect that.” – Noah said, in shook.
“You sure about that concussion?” – Andy asked calmly to the cheerleader.
“You’re inviting us to your party? Sounds awesome! You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been over to your house before!”
“Wow, imagine that.” – Britney answered MC ironically.
“Come on, guys! Britney told me she’s trying to turn over a new leaf and stop being such a jerk to people. Right, Brit?” – Stacy turned to her.
“Yeah. Totally.”
“Well, this is more weird to add to the weird pile. Are we sure this isn’t Mr. Re—“ –Andy nudged Ava hard in the ribs, jerking his head at Britney. Ava crossed her arms, glaring at him. – “Okay, but we’re gonna have a talk about all this later.”
“Yeah! We’ll talk about that, uh, school project. For that class we have. That Britney isn’t in.” – Noah desperately tried to change the subject.
“Okay, whatever you’re talking about? Yeah, I super don’t care.”
“We’re... really all invited to your party?” – Lily asked with a glow in her face.
Britney looked at Lily, her expression softening a little:
“Yeah, really. Does that mean you’re coming?”
“O-of course! I would love to!”
“Great! Make sure you save me a dance.”
With a final glare at Stacy, Britney stalked away toward the bus stop. MC pulled the cheerleader aside and they started exchanging a few rushed whispers.
“Not to break up this fun whispering thing you’ve got going on, but visit hours are over in, like, ninety minutes.”
“Yeah, we gonna go see Dan or what?” – Noah agreed with Ava.
“Sorry! We’re coming.” – MC said.
“I can fit five in my car... Lucas, can you drive someone?” – Stacy asked him, which startled at the sound of his name. He looked around.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.”
Stacy unlocked her car, letting Ava, Andy, Lily and Noah pile inside.
“Yo, Ava, lemme trade you for the front. These shoulders don’t like the backseat.”
“Fight me, Kang.”
In the end, Andy sat on the backseat, with Noah between him and Lily.
The ride was good and not weird as Noah thought it would be. They talked mostly about the game and the classes they had. It was like they were all friends again.
Stacy pulled off and they made their way to the hospital. Dan was in a small room at the back of the building. They met Dan’s mom as she was leaving the room; she smiled at them, but she seemed busy talking to the phone.
“MC and Lucas are late...” – Lily said, before they entered the room.
“I’ll go see if they didn’t lose theirselves on the way here.” – Ava said and walked away.
Andy, Lily, Noah and Stacy entered Dan’s room.
“Jeez...” – Noah whispered, seeing his friend surrounded by medical equipments.
They all sat in silence, clustering around the bed where the boy lied still and quiet. The only thing they could hear was the heart rate monitor beeping out a soft, regular rhythm.
A nurse appeared to check Dan and they talked a little with him, before he left to see another patient.
Ava was back a few minutes later, with the MC and Lucas.
“Oh, Dan...” – MC muttered. Andy gave her his chair.
“Jeez... he looks so... it’s like something drained the life out of him.” – Ava commented.
“Can he... I mean, does he know we’re here?”
“Dunno. Nurse was here a minute ago. He said Dan’s in a ‘vegetative state’.” – Andy said.
“It is... do they know what caused it?”
“They have no idea. He just... he just won’t wake up.” – Lily answered Lucas.
Stacy sniffled, hugging herself and looking up at the ceiling to try and hold the tears back:
“Guys... what if he never wakes up?”
Lucas moved to stand by Stacy, putting an arm around her shoulders. Lily squeezed Stacy’s hand:
“Th-the nurse also said we should talk to him, though. He said that Dan might be able to hear us.”
“It’s probably crap. They always say that to make you feel better.” – Noah said.
“Does it work?” – Ava asked him.
“...Yeah, kinda.” – he admitted.
MC stood up and squeezed Dan’s hand in hers. She started talking softly with him, and Noah could swear that Dan seemed to relax ever so slightly, as if he knew that they were all there for him.
“Uh... MC? Your backpack is angry.” – Andy said, as a tiny black paw stuck out of the top of the bag, swimping blindly at his leg.
And then, MC revealed that she had a cat (Luna) inside her backpack.
“Whoah! Is that your cat, MC? It seems kinda... feral.” – Noah startled. The kitten didn’t look very friendly.
“Naw, Luna talks tough, but inside she’s a li’l love muffin.”
“Kinda like you?” – Andy teased Ava, who hissed at him, just like the cat.
“Has anyone been here to see him?” – MC asked, while the cat nestled against the side of Dan’s neck, curling into a tiny black ball.
“We ran into Dan’s mom on the way in, but she was on the phone with someone named Dr. Chambal.” – Noah answered her.
They explained to Lucas and MC that Dr. Chambal probably was Dan’s therapist, based on what they heard.
“Dan was seeing a therapist? Do you think she knows something about all this?”
“Who knows? He never told me about any of this. He wasn’t one for talking about feelings.” – Stacy told MC.
“Dan, buddy... I wish you could tell us what happened.” – Andy said, reaching out for their friend.
Dan’s head turned to the right... And they found his cellphone inside the pocket of his jeans. It looked like he really wanted that they went through his phone.
They discovered that Dr. Chambal was indeed his therapist and that he had PSTD. He would dream about Jane’s murder by Redfield ( “the incident”) frequently, just like Noah and MC.
By the end of the summer, he seemed to make some progress... until last week, when he went to the ruins to face his demons. And met Mr. Red.
After reading all of Dan’s texts, MC put down his phone:
“Oh Dan, I’m so sorry. I promise, we’re going to find a way to help you. And... and when you wake up, we’re going to be here for you. Whatever you need.”
“We’ll help more than that quack doctor. She told Dan it was all in his mind! She’s the reason he went to face Mr. Red!” – Noah shout, feeling anger raising inside him.
It was always like that. The adults never believed them. They were just a bunch of crazy and stupid kids to them.
Lily told him that he was being unfair, that Dr. Chambal was doing her best to help Dan and he seemed to get better, until Mr. Red ruined everything. Again.
“Everything that’s happened... it seems like it all started when Dan went inside the ruins.”
“That makes sense...” – Stacy agreed with MC. – “I mean, that’s how it all started ten years ago, right?”
“First one of us goes in, and it wakes him up. Then more of us show up, and his powers grows...”
“So, what... Mr. Red used Dan as bait to lure us into the woods? To increase his power?” – Noah asked, feeling the warmth leaving his body.
“That dirty monster did say I was supposed to bring everyone...”
“So we don’t give him what he wants. We all just stay out of the woods, and that way things don’t get any worse!” – Lily concluded, but MC and Lucas shared a worried look.
“I think things are already worse. I think... in his sick way, Mr. Red has been doing us favors. To get on our good side.”
“Huh? Favors like what?” – Andy asked the Student Body President.
“Like the bear attack, Andy. And the crows that attacked Cody and Jocelyn.” – MC explained to him.
“That could have been coincidences. When your town is surrounded by woods, animal attacks just happen sometimes.”
“Not... like this.” – Stacy said to Lily, before she told them about Britney’s blackmail and the tree creature that attacked her. – “And then it just... threw me the bag, and her phone fell right out.”
“It gave you Britney’s phone?! This proves everything! Mr. Red knew about the blackmail, and he helped you get to the video!”
“I don’t know how, but... yeah. Seems like.” – Stacy confessed.
“Okay, that explains why Britney invited us to a party, but it doesn’t explain why she suddenly decided to stop being a jerk to Lily.”
“Wait, do you think Mr. Red can affect people’s minds?” – MC asked Ava, but Lily interrupted:
“N-no way! There’s no proof that Mr. Red can do anything like that!”
“Okay, but you’ve gotta admit there’s something wrong there. She’s acting totally—“
“She’s just acting like she used to! Before she started hanging out with monsters like Jocelyn and Cody!”
Lily’s voice rose to a shout, and Dan seemed to flinch back from the sound, his brow furrowing as if in pain:
“Nnnnn... don’t...”
MC’s kitten suddenly jumped up, scampering to the foot of the bed. It turned, fur puffing up as it growled at Dan.
“Holy...” – Noah started muttering, but Lucas interrupted him:
“Dan?!”
“Dan... can you hear us? Are you there?”
The boy spoke again, his voice barely a whisper. MC leaned closer, straining to hear... when Dan’s hand suddenly clamped around her wrist! She tried to pull away, but his grip became tighter as the beeping from the heart rate monitor speeded up, the beat fast and irregular.
Andy lunged forward trying to free MC, but Dan’s free hand twitched, sending the other boy flying backward, slamming right into Noah and Ava:
“Whoa!”
“Aaahhh!”
“The hell?!” – Noah screamed as the three of them knocked down to the ground.
The lights flickered as Dan slowly sat up and started speaking with a voice that was not his own... but a terrible, cold whisper that seemed to fill the room:
“All... better now... everyone together...”
Noah, Ava and Andy still were struggling to stand up when the lights went out entirely. Suddenly, a wind howled from nowhere as, before their eyes, the room warped and stretched, the back wall falling away into darkness.
They all huddled together against the wind, and the monitor’s beeps continued to quicken, until they blended into an unsteady keening sound. MC begged Dan to let her go, but he wouldn’t, claiming that everything was “better now”.
“Better?! How the hell are things better?!”
“No... I helped... all better now...” – he whispered.
“Yeah, this is not my idea of ‘better’! So how about you get the hell away from us!”
Ava gestured wildly and the chair beside her flied toward Dan. He growled, and the chair deflected, shattering as it tumbled down the black tunnel behind his bed. MC convinced Ava to use her powers to pull her over.
As soon as MC was freed from Dan’s grip, the light suddenly flooded the room, blinding them.
By the time their eyes had adjusted, the hospital room had returnet to normal, as if nothing supernatural and terrifying has happened there just seconds before. Dan let out a long, shuddering sigh before his body went limp, and he fell back onto the mattress.
“Is... is it over?” – Lily asked as Lucas edged forward to check the monitors beside Dan’s bed:
“Looks like it... for now.”
“Is anyone hurt?” – Stacy asked, standing up.
“Only on my everywhere. Next time, I want a plan where no one bodyslams me onto dingy linoleum.”
“Sorry... at least it worked, right?”
“Yeah, so what the hell was...” – Noah started asking, but he paused as a nurse hurried in to look at Dan’s heart monitor. He looked from the monitor to Dan, his brow furrowing.
“We were, um, just leaving. Sorry.” – MC furtively scooped the cat back into her bag before the nurse saw it and everyone flied out the door.
They all gathered in the deserted hospital lobby.
“Okay... what the hell was all that?” – MC asked as they took turns signing out of the visitor log.
“Bad. It was bad.” – Lily muttered anxiously.
“Yeah, can we talk about that... thing? Was that...”
“It was him.” – MC answered Lucas.
“I never thought... I mean, it felt so real.”
“It was real.” – Noah told Stacy, while Andy started saying something:
“Also, uh... Ava has freaky mind powers now?”
“Apparently.”
Andy let out a sigh, cracking his knuckles nervously:
“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m gonna need about ten square feet of pizza to process all this. You guys in?”
“One sec. The rest of us need to sign out.”
Ava, Lily and MC walked up to the desk. Suddenly, Ava came back to them, saying that they were “breaking into the hospital’s private records” to discover more about the freaky and weird-ass coma cases and organized them into watch positions.
Noah looked nervously around his spot in one of the hallways, but no one came, thankfully. Lucas made their sign, but it took some time until the three girls rejoined the rest of them.
“I hope whatever you found was worth it. That was a close call.” – Lucas scolded them.
“Don’t worry, we got something.”
“Like, hey, how about the fact that all those other patients were also found around the woods?”
“Or that this isn’t the first time there’s been an epidemic of this kind...”
“I’d say that’s some pretty good info.” – Noah said.
“Not to mention...” – MC motioned everyone to come closer, and pulled the folder out of her shirt.
She fliped the file open and they all read it over together:
“It’s reports of the other epidemics. Looks like the doctor wrote some notes up top here...” – Andy started reading...
“...some cause for concern. In each past incident, the influx of coma patients is closely followed by a massacre.” – next to Stacy...
“It’s unclear how these events are related, and the deaths that follow are not always of such volume. (See article B, from November 3rd, 2007).”
Noah felt his heart stop.
“November 3rd...” – he muttered, his mouth suddenly dry.
It was the date of Jane’s death.
He felt Andy squeezing his shoulder, in a comforting gesture.
They finished reading the file and chatted about it, but Noah didn’t listen a thing. His mind was racing with memories of Jane.
If Jane was here...
No one spoke for a long time, everyone lost within their own fears.
“Guys...” – MC broke the silence. – “I know we can get through this. We just have to stick together. I’m more terrified than I’ve ever been in my life. I honestly don’t know if I have the strength to handle all of this... but I don’t have to be strong enoug... not on my own. Because I have all of you. Together, we’re stronger than any of us can be on our own. Together I know we can do this.”
The tension hung in the air for a minute longer, when...
“Okay, but I asked about pizza, like, forever ago... so can we take care of that first?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna need an entire pizza just for me.” – Ava agreed with Andy.
“Pizza Mega?” – Lucas asked, a smile tugging on the corner of his lips.
“Obviously.” – Stacy grinned back.
“We haven’t been there in ages... think they still have those little honey packets for the crust?” – Noah asked, his stomach growling just thinking about it.
“I wonder if anyone’s beaten my high score on the Meteor Madness cabinet...” – Lily commented.
With smiles on their faces, they all walked out the hospital building into the night, talking about memories of a happier time.
Together.
#if jane was here#ilitw fic#noah marshall#noah x mc#ilitw#it lives in the woods#choices ilitw#choices it lives in the woods#long post
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Crystal Harris Pretends To Cry While Explaining Hef Breakup
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:20amFiled to: WATCH
31.1K
114
Crystal Harris continued her Runaway Bride press tour last night on Entertainment Tonight; it was her first television interview since announcing earlier this week that she would not marry Hugh Hefner as planned on Saturday. While she did try to cry during her interview, Crystal was mostly all smiles as she explained her reasons for calling off the wedding, one of them being the 60-year age difference — you know, that same 60-year age difference that everyone from awards show hosts to blogs to pundits mocked since the couple's December engagement (Crystal pretended to be offended by that mockery during her last interview with Entertainment Tonight). She says that her rumored affair with Dr. Phil's son Jordan McGraw had nothing to do with the breakup and that the two are just friends who have been working on her music career.
And in case you were wondering, Jordan had nothing to do with the dance single Crystal released earlier this week.
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Burpy Boo
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:49am
She's 25, right? So, perhaps I am naive, but why does it seem like she's had some sort of plastic surgery? Her face just doesn't really move when she speaks... or, maybe it's just that she's not particularly emotionally moved by the end of her engagement - so many possibilities!
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BlondeGoddess
Burpy Boo
6/17/11 12:10pm
Botox.
Reply
thenumbler
Burpy Boo
6/17/11 12:48pm
It's like her lips are too huge for her to be able to talk correctly. Kind of sounds like when someone tries to cry and talk.
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This is an Awesome Pen Name
Burpy Boo
6/17/11 12:54pm
A lot of cosmetic surgeons are pushing to have Botox done *before* you get wrinkles so it can prevent wrinkles.
I know because my mother has suggested I do it to my brow-furrow area. Because I tend to furrow my brow. My husband has begged me not to because he said it's the best way to know when I'm really angry.
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bitchfacemcsasspants
This is an Awesome Pen Name
6/17/11 1:18pm
My mom told me this the other day after returning from a Botox session, and I almost laughed. Preventative Botox? Seriously? Dumbest thing I have heard lately. As if injecting bacteria into your face isn't already a dumb enough idea.
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missWhaTha
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:32am
There's something...off...about her face. I understand that's par for the course when it comes to Playmates/Hef's ladyfriends in general, but she's only how old?! She looks like the next Real Housewife of Orange County.
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cefdonnelly
missWhaTha
6/17/11 11:42am
I thought the same thing..she is 25 yet looks 40. I blame plastic surgery and unhealthy lifestyle. Also I really don't understand what's special about her.
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padme
cefdonnelly
6/17/11 11:47am
She's 25? Here I thought Hef was being more reasonable marrying an older woman. I thought she was in her late 30s at least. Remind me not to get plastic surgery on my face ever.
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BoxMeowBox
missWhaTha
6/17/11 11:48am
Her upper lip appears frozen when she speaks. Maybe she and Hef were experimenting with cryonics together.
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Myxomatosis
missWhaTha
6/17/11 11:52am
Well (and I mean this with the least amount of body snark possible when talking about someone's appearance), it's pretty clear she had her lips done, and the top one especially stretches across her face really tightly when she talks, and it looks super unnatural
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lost_grrl
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 9:27pm
It seems pretty clear that she planned this since the beginning...she broke it off like the day after that month's magazine went to print or something like that and there are rumors that she had planned all along to leave him at the alter in order to get publicity since the wedding was going to be filmed for a special TV show. She was said to be shopping around for a $500,000 deal for the first "Runaway Bride" interview. Does she really think that the general public is going to believe that she suddenly woke up 5 days before the wedding and realized that Hef was the Crypt Keeper or that there were other women at the Playboy Mansion? I don't know how the whole thing works...if he is really having sex with multiple women or not (I got the impression from something I saw with that Kendra girl that he does not sleep with all of his "girlfriends"...which begs the question why he would call them girlfriends otherwise) but it should have come as no surprise to her that the man she was about to marry was older than her grandfather or that there were other women willing to take her place. Sorry Crystal...I don't buy it for a second.
It makes you almost feel sorry for Hef...almost.
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Dumbbutnotblonde
lost_grrl
6/18/11 6:03am
@lost_grrl: Not to mention it was also the day her single was released....
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welllahdeedah
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:49am
The only other woman in Hef's life at this point is probably an at-home nurse, who attends to his daily shots of virgin blood and changes him every so often.
If Crystal was so jealous of the sponge-baths, she should have offered to take a PSW course.
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Apricot Poodle Riding Eeyore Across a Rainbow
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 2:13pm
I think the interviewer's concern!face is pretty spectacular.
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jesbelle
Apricot Poodle Riding Eeyore Across a Rainbow
6/17/11 2:41pm
Watching this without the sound was really the only way to go. It's like performance art or something. "Smarmy douchebags mime emotions at one another"
Am I the only one who's uncomfortable by the camera constantly zooming in on whomever is speaking? I really don't want to get closer to either of these fools, thanks.
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Leahthekid
jesbelle
6/17/11 10:32pm
i got the feeling he hit on her afterwards. i felt like he was trying to look professional and concerned, but the whole time was thinking, she's a whore-i have an entitlement to tap that
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kookla
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 6:07pm
If I were Jordan McGraw, I wouldn't want to be associated with that single either. And I'm not talking about the song.
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BabyJane
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 3:14pm
I hate the fake cry. You know you're not crying. I know you're not crying. So let's just knock it off, shall we.
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Jessica Zimmerman
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:37am
I use a Mac and all of a sudden over the last few weeks I can't view any of these videos. I use firefox and tried safari, anyone know what to do?
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GravityBringsUsDown
Jessica Zimmerman
6/17/11 11:46am
I use Chrome and I can see all of them on my Mac!
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tourist19
Jessica Zimmerman
6/17/11 11:47am
I use chrome on my mac, but sometimes have that issue here. If the video doesn't load at all, but the rest of the page does usually a reload will make it appear. If the video does load, but doesn't play I generally hit play, then move the dot on the viewing bar back and forth until it kicks in. Sounds weird, but it works.
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Jessica Zimmerman
GravityBringsUsDown
6/17/11 11:47am
Good to know thanks :) I may have to get that!
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Slomo788
Jessica Zimmerman
6/17/11 11:48am
Google Chrome. Your Mac's Flash plugin might need updating too.
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SittingDuck139
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:51am
Lol, I hate to admit it, but here's a guy who can't help but enjoy how transparently this gal used and then dumped Hef.
Full disclosure: I am, in fact, a Hef-hater. I know, bros before hos, hate the playa not the game, (but REALLY don't really hate the playa, either, cause then you're just a jealous friggin' loser, dude). The whole guy code, I get it, I'm familiar with it, I'm generally on board with it. I usually TRY to comply — sincerely, i do.
But in Hef's case, I've never been strong enough, I guess. I hate the guy. I know what you'll say — I'm just envious of that ridiculous lifestyle of his — and I won't argue the point — I'm sure that it's to some degree true. But frankly, more than the lifestyle itself, I think it's Hef's smug, self-satisfied, flaunting of that lifestyle that really grates... I mean, enjoy, brotha, you're old, decrepit, fading, you might as well enjoy what you can while you can. But can you have the good manners to just do it a little more quietly?
Anyway, I'm kinda cheering Crystal on this one, even though I know she doesn't particularly deserve it. Call me a hata, 'cuz a hata I am.
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bitchfacemcsasspants
SittingDuck139
6/17/11 1:14pm
I don't think you're as alone as you think you are in those sentiments. I know plenty of men who think he's a repulsive old bugger. My dad has two daughters, and his thoughts on the matter pretty much revolve around how he would mutilate Heffner in 10 different ways if he even ever looked at us. Hef's just gross, most people know it, and I doubt very many people genuinely support his lifestyle. I think he's more of a laughingstock at this point than anything else.
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Greenspanner-in-the-Works
SittingDuck139
6/17/11 1:37pm
Makes me wish duck season were here, kinda, sorta, almos'.
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Perhaps Not
SittingDuck139
6/17/11 3:44pm
Um, hallelujah.
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bitchfacemcsasspants
Greenspanner-in-the-Works
6/17/11 4:10pm
Best comment ever.
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nyc-caribbean-ragazza
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:40am
He has other women in his life? Oh please. The dude can barely walk. My grandfather passed away at 96. During his 90s he seemed a lot more with it than Hef.
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expertdabbler
nyc-caribbean-ragazza
6/17/11 12:59pm
I'm pretty sure this Anna Berglund chick is the next in line. She's been posing on red carpets with just Hef and Crystal all year even though her issue came out in January.
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nyc-caribbean-ragazza
expertdabbler
6/17/11 1:27pm
Maybe she will have a show with Hef. The one with Crystal and twins didn't do so well. I wonder if Hef still makes his "girlfriends" keep a 10:00 p.m. curfew.
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real_recognize_real
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 7:47pm
I'm sorry the lip injections, the botox, and plastic surgery... it's too much, and it's really distracting me. She's like my age!! What you need botox and a facelift for? Those lip injections are killing me softly. If you have thin lips, you have thin lips! The lip injections on the upper lip look like she has like a thick slim upper lip. not natural at all.
It's just funny because she got all the botox and what not to look younger, but that stuff really just makes you look SO much older!
oh, beauty standards in this country. When you try to achieve them, you wind up looking worse.
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black and tan
real_recognize_real
6/18/11 2:14am
it really does blow my mind that she is 24. its a combo of the plastic surgery and "the look". it is not flattering for young women. not fresh at all.
i know women in their twenties who have had botox and fillers. they look great; they DO NOT look like this. you would never know. it isn't just the needles, its the "look"/"image" and the lifestyle. very aging. :(
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nowmedusa
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:33am
No regrets? Not even for that zig-zag part?
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gold_gato
nowmedusa
6/17/11 1:21pm
Hef likes his women in the 90s. Oh, wait!
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talithaghetto
nowmedusa
6/17/11 7:18pm
Just think how much worse her roots would look if her hair had a straight part.
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mannequin
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 12:26pm
I actually thought she sounded really genuine when she talked about the dynamics of the mansion (jealousy, cattiness, revolving girls, etc). Obviously its ridiculous that this is even this big of a deal, just my 2 cents.
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Dr Pamela Isley
mannequin
6/17/11 10:55pm
I was set to see a gold digger and what i saw was a gold digger who had just enough of something in her that she couldn't go through with it. I also thought she was pretty genuine when she talked about how the mansion works and what she realized she couldn't do or live with.
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ApocalypseHow
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:34am
Hef and I have the same birthday. I take it as proof that G-d has a sense of humor.
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spiraloflife
ApocalypseHow
6/17/11 12:02pm
We have the same birthday, then!
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Dirk Anger
ApocalypseHow
6/17/11 2:01pm
Different century, though
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slowtraincoming
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:53am
Wait, when did she try to cry?
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BrightSpark
slowtraincoming
6/17/11 11:57am
Around 00:50 if I would have to guess!?
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Leahthekid
slowtraincoming
6/17/11 10:34pm
oh i geuss they cut that
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HopeAngel
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 1:57pm
I cannot BELIEVE Hugh Hefner did not tell this innocent girl that not only is he 85 years old, but that he allows other women to venture in and out of the Playboy Mansion. Just to TRICK her into marrying him! The utter nerve! She's lucky she escaped that level of deceit while she still had her integrity intact.
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Dumbbutnotblonde
HopeAngel
6/18/11 6:06am
@HopeAngel: This
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Samoonta
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/18/11 12:58am
Ahhh, I see. Coco is likable (and she is) so her plastic surgery decisions are OK. But Crystal is unlikable (and she is) so we can all pile on and body snark on her own personal surgery choices. Cool, cool.
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black and tan
Samoonta
6/18/11 2:11am
LOL! yes.
also, how women are designated as "likeable" and "unlikeable", on this site and in the media in general, seems extremely arbitrary to me. and it is really mostly other women doing the judging/designating.
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Leahthekid
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 10:30pm
How could she not have known about the latest playboy? seriously....besides the fact that she posed for it and was aware of the upcoming release (or possibility of one), why would she not check up on that?
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Dr Pamela Isley
Leahthekid
6/17/11 10:52pm
she didn't know it was going to be labeled "Runaway Bride," not that she was in it.
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person9911
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 1:30pm
Is she obliged to cry or something? Am I missing something?
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Ignotus
person9911
6/17/11 2:54pm
It's an odd title but I'm assuming their talking about the lack of emotion coming from Crystal. *shrugs*
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Justine
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 3:57pm
Do people just say "no regrets" because it sounds badass now, with no regard for context?
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Leahthekid
Justine
6/17/11 10:31pm
because it's become totally fetch to say that.
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Ignotus
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 3:02pm
Eh. Ever since the beginning this whole marriage and shit always seemed like a set up. I mean, he has to have as many women in that mansion as he is old. And that thing with Holly wanting to get married and have kids with Hef was weird enough. Why get married? Am I missing something.
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Her?
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 12:00pm
"There's definitely an age difference."
Understatement of the fucking century. This whole mansion thing reeks of Waco Texas to me. The whole family was planning the wedding? Not the only woman. Women in line to be on Hef's arm next.
It sounds like the deprogrammers got to her just in time.
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Science and Sex, Bitches
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 12:01pm
I guess her Castle of Sin must be the next mansion, just waiting for Hef to kick the bucket.
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Papaya432
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:33am
Wow... why did I click on that song? Didn't Heidi Montag already make a whole album like this?
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Hotpants-McGee
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 12:47pm
OK, maybe the first chick that moved into the mansion could have been taken aback by the Playboy lifestyle, but after like 50 years, I think we all know what it's like there. Jealousy and cattiness will happen, sorry.
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helechoanarquista
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 5:37pm
I don't even recognize her. Clearly she told them to go heavy on the Botox in preparation for her big media tour.
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kaylam89
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:47am
Jesus that song is annoying. Reminds me of Kim Kardashian's failed attempt at making music.
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JoeThursday
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 1:57pm
I hate how ET uses those little cartoon ribbons to cover her already-covered lady-bits.
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allcomingupmilhouse
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:59am
Is it wrong that I kinda liked that song? It's fairly reminiscent of Britney. I'm a fan.
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bozofish11
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/18/11 4:52pm
I bet Holly is doing her crazy dolphin laugh all over Vegas.
...Or just doing dolphins all over Vegas.
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ortcutt
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 7:04pm
This is the most brilliant viral marketing campaign of all time. Can you believe how much free publicity Hefner has milked out of this fake romance?
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tinfoil-party
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/18/11 1:28pm
CALCULATED, CLAIR ST. CLAIR. The word is calculated.
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This Lady is Brutal
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 8:46pm
There is NO WAY this was ALL PLANNED IN ADVANCE! NO WAY!
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Perhaps Not
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 3:46pm
All good points, but you know who I don't feel sorry for? Hugh Hefner.
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tlong1122
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:33am
She's pretty.
She's skeevy.
She's pretty skeevy.
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Proofer
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/18/11 3:03am
She sounds overwhelmed. But if I looked that pretty, I'd be overwhelmed all the time.
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girl_ninja
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 11:30am
Calucltive move? I'm sorry, I don't even know how to spell what she said.
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Kelfire
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 12:30pm
whats up with the guttural gasping sound at 0:22 ?
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YouToldMe
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/18/11 7:35am
She's as fake as her tits.
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ohmystars
Tracie Egan Morrissey
6/17/11 2:03pm
holy plastic surgery!
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Takumi, Odin and Xander? I like reading what people think about Xander, lol.
Hello! Likewise; reading about Xander has almost become a pastime of its own for me as of late. :P Interesting stuff. -And now, here’s a very long post.(^_^)
1. How I feel about him/her
Thiiiis guy. At first, I couldn’t help but be annoyed when he wouldn’t freely give me his trust as all the other Hoshido siblings had, (then Xander came along, and) but should I have been in his place, what would I have done? Excellent question. Considering the placement of events he wouldn’t have been quite old enough to remember Corrin, and will have already had his own reasons to bear distrust (more explanation below with sibling relationships).
He’s a slow-burning character with development (and flaws, which make him all the more easy to relate with), more so than the other Hoshidan royals, as far as I’d noticed at this moment.
2. Who I ship him/her with romantically
I ended up marrying him to Azura in Revelations, but I’m not quite sure why; I want to say it’s because when I played Birthright first had saw her heal him with her song, I was quite moved and kept this alternate storyline point in the back of my mind.
3. Who I ship him/her with platonically
Leo. 8| They’re frenemies and hate different things for the same reasons, but sometimes hate the same things and that’s how they bond.
4. What do I like about this character
There’s a lot to love about Takumi, from my perspective. He’s got the burden on him of being the younger sibling, always standing in the shadows of his older brother (much like his Nohrian equivalent, Leo), and as a result may sound like he has a somewhat jaded outlook on certain things at times in addition to being overly competitive as well as a perfectionist. While I don’t have siblings, I do have peers and often feel as though I’m “shrouded by the shadows of my predecessors” in different circumstances, but am often told I have nothing to worry about because there’s only one me, much like there’s only one Takumi. Besides, Takumi is the one who often saved me during many missions. :’D
His endearing fatherly relationship with his son(s) is also fantastic too (which in my case, is both Shigure and Kiragi).
5. Would I marry this character
When I play through Birthright once again, I very well may marry him (but it’s a tough choice, because there’s also Jacob, who I also adore).
6. What would I do if this character was real
I’d tell the poor guy to chill a little, but I’m a 100% pure®︎, verified✔️non-confrontational™️person by circumstance. Regardless, I might want to try to approach him to make small-talk (unusual for me!) but knowing him, I’m sure he’d give me his Tacomeat Face®︎ and take wide strides to avoid me thinking I’m Nohrian based on the way I dress and my general disposition.
1. How I feel about him/her
He reminds me of all the kids I used to hang out with back in middle school, junior high, and high school who were involved with band but also regularly brought their entire Pokémon/Yu-Gi-Oh!/Digimon/Magic card decks to school with them to duel/show off. They somehow also memorized every artillery, weapon, and aircraft used by the US and German military during WWII and could emulate sounds for each one of them. Oftentimes, they had a disposition to speak in role-play (they did that too), but excelled in both school and in social life. I did not always know what they were talking about when they went on their great digressions, but I always listened; in return, they listened to my digressions of similar interests. Many of them have gone off to become writers, software designers, public representatives, and actors. These people, each and every one of them, resonate with me as the Odins of my childhood.
2. Who I ship him/her with romantically
I had no idea who to marry this guy to, since “aching blood” seemed too strong for many, but Selena ended being a great match for him! Coincidentally enough, I was just asked about Selena and talked about this a little while ago.
3. Who I ship him/her with platonically
His “retainer buddy” Niles, because someone has to balance sinnamon rolls with cinnamon rolls.
4. What do I like about this character
I implicitly and talked about this in a nostalgic way back in the first prompt, but this guy reminds me of childhood acquaintances, which reminds me of simpler times, as a result.
Here’s something curious: during the A support conversation with the Avatar, Odin finally comes up with a name for his incredible pose, which just so happens to be “Shadow Glitter.” Alright, so this doesn’t sound so spectacular for me to mention on the surface, one would think, but it is. You see, he named it after me. Yup, it’s true. More specifically, he named it after my in-game character, Kirameki (キラメキ), which means “glitter.” I didn’t even know of this support when I named my character. Goodness, I’ve used “Kirameki” for years (look at my blog’s name, after all). It’s coincidental, but I think it’s adorable and made me really smile that day, which I needed x100.
5. Would I marry this character
I’m not sure, but there’s always a chance.
6. what would i do if this character was real
We’d probably become fast (platonic) friends interested in pretty similar things, but he would do most of the talking, I’m afraid!
1. How I feel about him/her
I apologize in advance, yet I couldn’t help but get a little personal here. It’s not often I find a character with whom I can relate with on such a deeply personal level, down to the very point that it’s physically and emotionally painful (which I admit is embarrassing, but hey I’m going through some rough times and ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), but here one is.
H o w e v e r . There are several stark contrasts between him and I, mostly surrounding the circumstances of immediate family: I have no siblings, and have an excellent relationship with both my parents, which is stronger than any bond I’ve shared with anyone else in this life I’ve lived. They’re also my best friends, after all. In some ways, I’m as much “their retainer” as they are “my retainers.”
Furthermore, I was born more like Leo: school came easy for me, and I continue to excel without too much of a struggle (but of course, grad school does indeed require more work). Because of this, however, here’s where the likeness to Xander comes in: being an only child, being the first-generation to go to and graduate from college, being the first in the entire family to go to grad school, living around resentful family members who wish for your ruin, and finally the lament of your own by-gone dreams ever lingering on the edges of your mind can make you feel like a battle-worn crown prince/ss. Like Xander, it has fallen upon me, partly due to my own aspirations but somewhat by fate, to shoulder heavy responsibilities which may ultimately overwhelm me —and like Xander again, he doesn’t know who or what he has to turn to, only that it is HE who must overcome it all to fulfill his oath. What a feeling.
2. Who I ship him/her with romantically
On a lighter note, Corrin. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve been reading so much cute, fluffy doujinshi over on Pixiv, you have no idea
3. Who I ship him/her with platonically
I adore the strong bond he shares with his siblings; I’ll never know what that feels like, and it’s such a dear thing [insert the adorable and incredibly well-done Nohr sibling group hug fan art here].
4. What do I like about this character
Yet again, I spent the first prompt talking about this a little bit, but let’s see if I can get some new information flowing.
He’s awkward. We can tell he’s not comfortable getting out of his teeny-tiny comfort zone (“elbow-room?! What elbow-room!? Referring to one of his skills), but dear goodness, does he try. He tries for his loved ones, for his country, and for the good of the future. But he’s still so awkward at making small talk, it’s adorable; I get second-hand embarrassment and realize I’m hypocritical feeling this way considering I’m terrible at small talk too; “let’s talk business or let’s adjourn so I can do more business elsewhere.”
He’s genuine. Long story short, he’s got no time to be anything but, again, for his loved ones and his kingdom.
He’s respectful, —to both his friends (no matter the social rank) and foes. Regardless of the odds, he’s as diplomatic and respectful as he can be under the nasty circumstances.
He’s a workaholic, much to his own undoing. (Hey look, I too am one and also don’t know when to stop. What a coincidence.) Note: while useful, this is not always a good trait and is one which can be very, very easily taken advantage of. He’s found himself at the mercy of this situation often, much like I have, as many of us have.
He’s highly intelligent, yet often oblivious (especially in commoners’ ways, thanks to his early sheltered life).
He’s apparently got great handwriting, which for me is a treasure; I too take pride in my handwriting, and really liked reading this little note about him. (*^_^*)
He’s not just another cold, cardboard, bland, stoic, big brother stock character added to the story. Instead, he’s got a story of his own which he’s willing to share, while he listens to yours and even attempts to offer some advice. (I’m remembering his support logs with Hinoka, Sakura, Kaze, Mozu, and Felicia here).
He’s pretty (/^/ω/^/)
5. Would I marry this character
I did. Twice. And I’ve only played all three games once so far. c:
10/10 would marry again
6. What would I do if this character was real
[Kirameki.exe stopped working. Please contact system administrator for assistance.] Which is strange, considering he’s not quite my type in the physical sense, albeit quite close. Fun (but unchecked) facts: if he was indeed real, he’d easily be more than 12in (30.5cm+) taller than me. That’s more than enough reason for my graphics driver to crash, amirite? *ba dum tshh*
Levity aside, and should I already have a good idea of what his real-life personality is like based on the games (rock-solid logic, here), I really would “want to get to know him better” in not quite yet in the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) way (yeah yeah I know what you’re thinking), but rather in a friendly manner. He’d make a warm companion, and I admit that it would be nice to finally share with someone these aspirations and pains. I would just hope he’s more forthcoming than I am and also approach me somehow, considering I’m far more shy than I sound here.
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Let’s think about something else than the uncertainty of this sucky situation we found ourselves in and let me tell you something more about my recent trip to Coral Beach in Egypt. It’s gonna be long, but it’s not like we all have something else to do now right?
It hits differently to reminiscent about my last travel when travel is forbidden now. It was literally last minute trip in every sense possible, and if I knew it was the last time I’m traveling in a long time I won’t make any difference anyway cuz my vacation in Egypt was awesome.
I spend February 2020 in Egypt. It was a last-minute trip to a Coral beach Hurghada resort we found through a Czech travel agency. This hotel had beautiful photos online, just like any other Egypt resort. What made us choose this one was the great number of positive reviews on TripAdvisor.
It came as a bit of a surprise for us to find out, that the animation team and other staff asked us to leave a positive comment on the said website. Nothing wrong with that, sure.
What was shocking for me was that the income of people working there depends on the number of mentions in such positive reviews. No wonder there are so many reviews of the resort.
You can’t blame people for demanding reviews in order to secure themselves financially, but it does bring a question of credibility of those reviews.
So let’s keep it 100% real with name-calling and pointing fingers even if some feelings might get hurt.
Here is my Coral Beach Hurghada Resort review and what I learned about Egyptian men.
Don’t worry it’s been really cool.
We arrived early in the morning at around 7 am local time. First things first, we checked in, signed some paper with our names written incorrectly and even our nationality was messed up. No one mentioned that throughout the whole duration of our trip. So I guess it doesn’t matter who’s name is checked in.
Shortly after checking in, we were told that our room would be ready in like 3-4 hours. That sucked.
But as we were 2 young white girls smiling at everyone, we got our room right after breakfast and a short walk around the resort. And that was just the first of our privileges.
Coral beach Hurghada resort is huge as fuck.
The hotel beach itself is 1,2km long and all along this line are shops, bars, swimming pools, diving centers, camel rides, jeep rides, doctor, pharmacy, supermarket, spa center, tennis courts, gardens and more.
All of the guests stay at this cute little bungalows. I guess all of them look different from the inside, but we realized that on our last day when one lady was complaining that all of her furniture was old and smelled bad.
We were completely satisfied with our room. Each of us had a queen size bed and that was the only thing we actually used in our room besides the bathroom.
The bathroom was large with a bathtub but with just a shower curtain, so the water was all around the floor after every shower we took. We didn’t have any hotel shampoo or shower gel for like the first 3 days. After the third day the guy who was cleaning our room and didn’t speak English at all, but greeted us so kindly every time he saw us anyway, ran after my friend and gave her plenty of shampoos.
Besides that, we had a tv in our room we never used or a telephone that rang just once on our last day to woke us up to catch our plane home.
Each room had its own fridge with a daily supply of drinking water, or even safe we never used. We had a huge wardrobe even though I was dumping most of my clothes on a chair.
Each bungalow had its own terrace with a spectacular view oversea.
Our bungalow was like 5 minutes walk from the beach. 3 minutes to the closest pool where we spend most of our time. 4 minutes to the main building with reception, wifi and dining room where food was served. Pretty good I would say considering the general size of the resort.
I guess we made a good first impression on a reception guy that gave us this room.
Our first impression was spectacular.
I am judging this holiday as a 24 years old single girl in a resort full of male staff with an enormous obsession with European women. Clearly, my experience could not be compared to the experience of a family staying in a Coral Beach or a couple staying at the resort.
From the first moment, we stepped to the resort everyone was incredibly friendly. Everyone was saying hi to us and making small talk.
People being nice is not something I am used to. And I know it’s what they’re supposed to do, to be nice do their guests and flirt with girls but it still felt great.
Since day one everyone tried to lure us to their shop to “just talk” meaning “please buy something”. From time to time we actually went in, just to see what happens and felt super guilty for not buying anything. Nevertheless, the whole shopping is an experience on its own when Egyptians are involved.
Egyptians are incredible salesmen. Sometimes it’s too much. Some of them are too pushy, too into it and you feel cornered and lash out and it’s justified. They all know they stepped out of the line there and back out.
Even if it takes some convincing in the end they understand NO means NO.
Our usual day looked like this:
We would wake up around 8:30 and go to the breakfast that’s been serving from 7 am till 10 am. All of the all-inclusive food was served in a buffet form and there were a shit ton of options to choose from no matter your diet preferences.
Meat, dairy, vegetables, pastry, sweets. Toasts, donuts, pancakes, cereal, sausages, eggs, cheese, salads…
For me, breakfast was the best out of the 3 meals just because of my love for breakfast food.
Let’s move on to the breakfast drinks.
On the other side of the massive dining room were juice stands and coffee makers, but we very rarely went to those. All around to room were waiters ready to make all of your wishes come true. Literally. There would be 3-4 guys walking up to us every other minute asking if everything was ok, if we needed anything if we wanted something to drink or just general small talk.
That’s where we met Mohamed.
23 years old Egyptian eager to befriend us and he did. He was so easygoing with his simple English, always joking around or just making funny faces to brighten our day. We were looking forward to seeing him every morning and lunch and when we didn’t we were actually worried. He grew on me because he was so innocent or at least he played that role really well.
Mohamed didn’t seem like he was used to flirting with the guests a lot. Every time he would see us talking with some other waiter or laughing with someone else you could see his hurt puppy eyes. Later on, he would question us on how many guys we were talking to at the resort because a lot of guys were talking about us. He was horrified when he found out we flirted back with almost everyone and trust me, there was a LOT of them.
Me and my friends took it as an easy holiday flirt, but once shit got serious we had to end things very clearly.
And oh boy did things get serious.
After breakfast, we would change to swimsuits and head to either pool or beach.
Let’s dissect the pool first.
The main pool that was closest to the reception was where the animation program occurr 2 times a day. It was a standard preheated pool, what we really appreciated on some windy days, with a shallow kids section and deeper swimming section. Our favorite part of the pool was the bar.
This bar served both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, coffee, ice cream and snacks in a form of some pastry with cheese or ham. Besides that, there was a water tank where you could pour drinking water yourself.
At this particular bar worked Ahmed and Mustafa and I have a lot to say about those two.
Let’s start with a story of me and Mustafa.
Mustafa was this Egyptian waiter who spoke quite ok English and knew a few Czech words. One word he used on me a lot and it was “milacik” simply translated as a sweetheart. I was like ok, cheesy but it’s a vacation. He would joke around, make our drinks, a lot of drinks to be precise, and make compliments to me quite a lot. Nothing wrong with that, great confidence boost. I just wish he was not staring at my boobs that much but who could blame him, lol.
On one occasion when he was making drinks and compliments he would actually formally introduce himself. He then continued with a confession that he really likes me, I’m just his type, he doesn’t want to waste any more time and would like to ask me out for dinner tomorrow evening.
I started to feel like he might not be joking around anymore, but hell I was SURE he was saying the same line to every other girl at the bar. So with a little too much drinks in me, I didn’t give him a straight answer just joked around and flirted some more.
That led him on even more and he stepped up his game. He told me how serious he is about at every possible occasion. Once he started throwing around restaurants and his time schedule I realized he’s not joking and I felt so guilty for leading him on.
Now I was facing a tough decision.
How do I say no without crushing his ego?
I hate turning guys down. You could never guess the outcome and I might just have a terrible personal experience but it’s just a really scary thing to do.
So I said something along with “no thank you” and he was all like, “ok I accept and I won’t bother you again“.
Perfect reaction but I was so prematurely relieved.
Not a couple minutes later he was bugging me again. He was telling nearby guests to convince me to go out with him, that I am his sweetheart, even shit like he wants to marry me and they are invited to our wedding and just genuine peer pressure. Surely we all laughed, but that didn’t seem like he’s not bothering me at all.
By the end of the night, I said no a couple of more times and each time with less and less smile, fuck being polite.
The next day he would say how sad he is every time he saw me. How heartbroken he is that he can’t make a drink for me. Slowly over the remaining days of our stay at Coral beach, Mustafa would ignore me and my friend, refuse to do drink for us or even look our direction.
Talk about a fragile men’s ego.
So that’s when Mustafas co-worked Ahmed stepped up and started making drinks for us. From the beginning, he was all laughs and compliments as well.
A couple of days in he asked my friend for a selfie and that was a straight no.
We were well aware that Egyptian boys tend to take photos with white Europeans, post it on a specific website and brag about banging them. That was not going to be us.
Ahmed tried to ask for a photo couple of more times and after refusal, he followed the same steps as Mustafa. Ignoring us and refusing to make drinks for us.
To be fair it wasn’t that bad.
Every time we lost one guy, 3 would come our way eager to flirt with us.
Some would keep it PG13. Like Hasan from the beach bar. Hasan definitely made the best cocktails of them all, spoke the best English and was the kindest of them all. He always looked way better than the rest with his fancy belts, rings, and branded t-shirts. The way he spoke to us screamed: “I have a girlfriend I love very much but I like talking to interesting people and I love my job”.
Coral Beach has one of the prettiest beaches I ever saw. Maybe it was the lack of people in February or the constant cleaning of the workers, but it was just amazing. There was easy access to the sea, with some bigger stones around but nothing terrible. It was a beautiful bay where tourists boats would anchor, surrounded by half islands with Beach chairs and umbrellas all over.
Judging by the name of the resort Coral beach, it’s pretty obvious the resort has access to the beautiful corals and I talked more about that in my Snorkeling in Coral Beach was no Fun.
We would chill at the beach and every 15 minutes we would say “Hello” “Good and you” “No Thanks” “You too” at a bypasser trying to sell us something.
There was this guy I forgot the name of already who would do smoothies and fresh juices and who would flirt with us shamelessly.
One day he brought me flowers and that was the day I had to stop giving him so much attention.
Animators would keep us entertained for the whole day. Me and my friend were perfect guests and attend every animation program they would offer.
In the morning we would do stretching. Usually with a group of people but more often than not, we would be the only ones there.
After a couple of minutes of drinking at the bar, we would do belly dancing with a sexy scarf in front of every hotel guest and making it worth their stares. Another activity we would attend would be fitness in the water, something like aerobics, darts, volleyball, ping-pong, Zumba, billiard and our favorite activity yoga. Yoga would be the last activity of the day and even though we tried to drink in moderation doing yoga drunk as fuck is such fun.
Let me tell you about an animator named Mina.
We came to know him when we were looking for a place where yoga was starting and since that, we were inseparable. Mina was super fun and easy to talk to, he spoke perfect English, he was local so he told us a lot about Hurghada in general or about the Egyptian culture. He would check on us every couple hours and with him, it didn’t feel like just small talk. We became friends.
Until the moment he followed us on Instagram, messaged my friend and confessed his genuine interest in her. Everything was fun and games. He wouldn’t acknowledge his cheesy and cheeky messages he sends her on the internet in real life which was weird. He became super eager and pushy so she had to put an end to it.
Guys, if you think your pick up lines are not discussed in a girls group chats you are terribly mistaken. In this case, we would sit on a couch and try to formulate the breakup text in a most gentle form.
Just like with Mustafa he was like “no worries, I want you to enjoy your vacation“, but since that text, we lost him as a friend. Since the text he would just smile at us from afar, wave, be super polite but keeping a distance, doing small talk but always hurrying somewhere and that really sucked. We could see the hurt in his eyes and that sucked even more cuz we missed his energy. Always smiling, always vibing. We missed that.
It sucks he had to catch feelings.
By the evening time of our daily routine, we would pack out things and head to our bungalow to take a shower and prepare for dinner and night programs. We would always come into the freshly cleaned bungalow.
There was this one time we locked ourselves out and it’s quite a ridiculous story.
So it was our last day at the Coral beach and we would do some souvenir shopping. We went to this small jewelry shop at the beach and there was this cool old guy who would tell us stories about his son studying medicine in Russia. He sold oriental bracelets and we picked a couple of them to give to our friends and family.
As we were not carrying money with us all day we headed to our bungalow and from afar we noticed our bungalow door was open. Once we got closer we realized the guy I mentioned before, the one who didn’t speak English but always smiled and watched us from afar, was cleaning our room as we were about to enter it.
We tried to explain to him that it would be just a minute but it was pretty useless so we just grabbed the money and headed out.
But my friend needed to use a bathroom.
The electricity in the bungalows worked only when the key was stuck in the wall port so that’s what I did.
Stucked the key in the wall.
Once we were ready we just headed back and left the door open as the guy was waiting for us to leave so he could finish up his cleaning.
Key stuck firmly in the wall.
In like 4 hours we were getting back and desperately throwing everything out of our beach bags to find our missing key. The reality hit us pretty quickly so we lowered our heads and headed to the reception to explain the situation.
The receptionist was super cute and I have never had a guy listen to me so intensely and having such captivating eyes. That eye contact still gives me chills when I remember it.
So I explained how we got locked out and his first reaction was “well done” with a smirk and that cracked me up. Cutiepie continued to ask some more questions, more of a personal nature and complimenting my English before he made a few phone calls. After a couple of minutes, we headed back to wait for our rescue that was supposed to be in front of our apartment in 5 minutes.
15 minutes later we were getting cold and frustrated without any help in sight.
We were supposed to be packing for our morning flight and we had a very busy schedule of saying goodbye to all of our new friends.
25 minutes later a guy comes by and asks if we need help.
I explain the situation and ask if he’s the one we’ve been waiting for.
The Egyptian guy just smiles and picks up his phone and types something in. Suddenly he points his phone and me and I see the google translator app so I start talking, so the guy can understand me. Once we’re on the same page he just smiles and says “no problem” and that’s when the golf car comes in carrying 2 other guys.
Once again I explain the situation and one of our saviors victoriously picks up the key and goes for it.
Few embarrassing seconds later we find out he took the wrong key. He turns to me and my friend with a crooked smile and says: “one moment” and starts up the golf car again and disappears in the distance.
So we sat back to the cold stairs in front of our bungalow and curse our luck.
Another 10 crushing minutes later the guys bring back the right key and open up our door.
My one big regret is the fact I didn’t meet my receptionist prince sooner. We exchanged a few more glances and smiles that night but sadly, that was it.
Dinner at Coral Beach was always exquisite.
There were a couple of “normal” dishes along with the special themed ones. For example the seafood theme, Indian food, Japanese cuisine, grill and many more. The dinner time would be the most crowded in the dining hall but once again, we had our friends taking care of us.
There was this big tall guy whose name I forgot, mainly because he had eyes for my friend only. He would stop her by and confess his attraction to her one day and didn’t stop trying to get her, till the end of our last day there. Every time he would ask us for our drinks preferences for the night he would ask my friend only and be gone by the time I open my mouth.
Thankfully he would bring me the same drink my friend ordered every time so that was cool.
After dinner, we would sit in the lounge to catch wifi, post some photos on Instagram, message home that we’re safe but mostly drink cocktails and chat with animators.
Around 9 pm the program would start and all of the guests would gather up and watch the show. There was an acrobat show, live singer, fire show, belly dancer, fakir show, dance show, and many more. Some better than the other but it was always a nice distraction.
After the show, the animators and the guests would head out of the resort for disco and I have a few things to say about that as well.
We were 2 young girls on our own in Hurghada.
I’m not into a disco but even if I were, my trust issues have trust issues and there is no way in hell I would leave a secure resort and leave with a people I just met and go to a disco in a foreign country in the middle of the night.
But every single day most of the animators would try and convince us to come with them. It was super annoying. They would brag about it at every chance they got.
Everything clicked in place once we found out they work on commission. They have to bring as many people to the disco, sell them the tickets and they get to keep like a 1$ out of the sale. A day’s work for 1$ per person and there were not many people in Egypt in February.
After like 4 days they realize they are not going to convince us to pay 15$ to leave the resort.
Sure it’s holidays and I’m young but I have my limits.
Once the whole animation team realized we don’t trust them the big boss stepped up.
The boss of the animation team Mohamed was this big guy who was the only unfriendly and rude person we met through this whole holiday. He wouldn’t smile at us even if his life depends on it. Not once did he say hi to us first. He would walk around with his head up high, just watching us, never approaching and even his stares were deadly like we did something horrible to him.
So suddenly, one night he comes up to us and tells us, with a straight face, that we can trust him cuz he’s been doing this for 8 years. He told us we’ll be safe and he’s willing to take us there for free.
If a stranger approaches me, begs me to trust him and offers my free ride to some disco club in a foreign town, I have no reason not to trust him, right?
I know I need to start trusting people, but that was not the day.
Safe to say Mohamed disliked us even more after this nigh.
Let me tell you about our dentist friend.
Among one of the shops around the Coral beach area was the fashion boutique owned by an Egyptian guy we befriended but never learned his name. He was different from the rest of the Egyptians because he studied in the Czech republic just as we did.
His approach was more European. If you want something form his shop, he’s not gonna lure you in, you come at your own free will.
We would sit in his shop, drink date tea and talk about anything. The saddest part was that even when he finished up his studies, he’s a legitimate dentist and would earn a fortune by working in his field of study he just can’t. He never got a visa to work abroad so he sells clothes in Hurghada. He keeps applying for a visa every chance he gets for over 10 years and his hope is so inspiring.
Our dentist friend would teach us Arabic phrases we needed the most. Phrases like: “That’s enough boy”, “Can I get a drink?” or “I’m not your sweetheart”.
One day we actually left the resort with a bunch of hotel people and hotel guards to visit Hurghada downtown.
It was terrible.
The trip was free and took part at around noon. We met this sweet Czech ladies who could be our mums but they were really cool mums so we convinced them to take this trip with us.
Us and around 5 more residents were placed into this old, rusty, smelly minibus and headed out. It took us around 20 minutes on a hot stinky bus to get to our final destination and I started to realize what an adventurous trip this was going to be.
I was fascinated by the Hurghada traffic in general. No road lines. No signs. Everyone keeps honking all the time.
Just go for it. No one cares.
We were told to hide our hotel all-inclusive bracelets we were carrying on, so no one could follow us back. That was the first hint that things would get freaky.
We got a map of where we can go and where not to go and we got like hour and a half to shop around the Hurghada city.
No pedestrians crossing whatsoever and when a group of 4 females steps to the end of the road preparing to run across it to the other side, at least 3 cars stop by offering to take them wherever.
We couldn’t get a minute alone. From every single shop, men would come up to our faces and corner us, block our way and try to convince us to come to their shop. Some would catcall from afar and some would even go as far as actually touching you and dragging you in. They would try to push you their products like cigarettes directly to your hands. One guy would keep asking how much euros was in his hands and there were just so many of them.
That was one scary hour.
We visited some shops but more importantly, we were looking forward to our ride back home.
All of the city was super dirty, smelly, all you could hear was the honking of the cars. It was terrible.
Needless to say, we never met any Egyptian woman out there.
In general, we had a great time. There were plenty more guys trying to shot their shot by ridiculously blocking our way or whistling like a pair of teenagers. Those are the ones that didn’t get a second glance.
I was taken by the honesty and easy approach of the Egyptians.
Who the hell say exactly what they’re thinking? Where are the mind games? Manipulation? Misleading hints?
I just wish European men would take the same approach.
I like you. Do you like me?
It’s that easy and even as it came as a shock to me at first, it was so refreshing.
If I get to describe Egyptian men I one word it would be loving.
Sure, I know it was their job description to be nice to the guests but I believe there is just so much a person can pretend. Fake it till you make it.
The whole “life is too short so love with all your heart�� approach is so inspiring yet intimidating. It felt like a different world out there.
At the same time, how can someone be so open to love?
How can you jump from person to person and fall for someone new every time?
Getting hurt over and over again and still continue to try.
Is that courageous or crazy? That’s not up to me to judge.
All I can say is that no place made me feel so seen, so appreciated and relaxed as Coral Beach did.
I really hope all of the people I met there are safe and once this whole mess is done I’ll be more than happy to return to Coral Beach. We would all need a little of the love Egyptians provide.
Coral Beach Hurghada Resort and the Truth about Egyptian Men Let's think about something else than the uncertainty of this sucky situation we found ourselves in and let me tell you something more about my recent trip to Coral Beach in Egypt.
#adventur#adventure#africa#boys#boys problems#coral beach#egypt#egypt 2020#egypt africa#egypt coral beach#egypt in february#egyptian#friends#girls problems#hotel review#hurghada#perosnal#personal experience#reading#review#rresort#story telling#summer vacation in winter#travel#traveling#vacation mood#wanderlust#winter vacation#writing
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Twilight Mirage liveblog 3/5 (episodes 28-54)
28-35
I'm very excited for a series of solo episodes!
Don't know how I feel about the new Grand Magnificent tbh… This concept feels more conventional than the original one, and I'm worried the aspects of his character I found interesting won't be in focus anymore.
I had my problems with the previous system and how it flattened down emotions into inaccurate categories, but so far I'm not excited about the switch… Blades in the Dark's mechanics were kinda hard for me to follow by ear, and being unable to keep track of the gameplay by myself is unpleasant; and the new classes sound really dull compared to the ones in The Veil.
Iota's speech is strange… It sounds more like a simple copy-paste of real-life colonialism than the invasion described previously in the story. “They will ask you to give them a name like ours, they will ask to touch your bone” etc sounds nothing like Independence and its followers' modus operandi was, and, judging by the future tense, hasn't actually happened with the present time settlers yet – so where did that come from, in-universe? In fact, shouldn't her people have a relatively positive outlook on non-hostile outsiders, since they brought on the planet's golden age? Hopefully the following episodes will elaborate on this, because I've made peace with needing lore or plot points explained to me several times, but I need more clarity on big ideological question like this.
Gig is such a Chaotic Good!!
Buying sex is legal, normal & common in the utopia and Signet is a regular customer?! Fucking seriously?! I couldn't even focus on the episode for the next half hour and eventually turned it off because my thoughts kept returning to this and I kept seething with anger. Way to ruin the episode after I was so moved and intrigued by the intro…
They've been pretty careful with past spoilers this season, here's I think the first example: talking at length about the Hitchcocks, plural. Sure, it was only an episode three spoiler, but it was such a good reveal!
So, who actually printed out the ancient Quire people? Was it a political move from one of the sides?
No Austin you definitely have not mentioned Earth building a giant Dyson spehere around themselves!!! What the fuck :D
Everyone got a nice inconsequential vignette and Fourteen's scene had actual high stakes…
I really, really don't get what Seneschal looks like
After half a season of two separate parties and seven solo episodes it's so nice to hear everyone together!
Signet's look is absolutely not the kind of thing I imagined her wearing…
Please tell me someone has made an animatic about Even's hair tendril high-fiving Gig's eye
36-45
It's always cute when the first words after the intro are in that specific tone of voice that makes it obvious that at least 5-10 minutes before were spent in a lively conversation about some nonsense that finally was put to an end no more than two seconds ago (and then they talk about nonsense for ten more minutes lol)
I love this show's dedication to describing everyone's outfits in extreme detail at every opportunity
50k+ years later it's Art and Jack's turn to be the half of the party who walks right through the door and charm their way in lol. I hope they don't get shot or buy a bunch of torch units or something
I really like “finding a way to help a teenage community fit in the world” and “reconnecting a family and acquiring infrastructure for travel between planets” as the first projects; it really does convince you that these people have set out to make the world a better place (even if a lot of the time is actually spent pulling heists or fighting mechanical tigers).
Okay, the scavenger faction leader is literally a vulture, I get it.
What I don't get is why we are supposed to dislike that faction. There was some general “eh, they suck” said OOC during setup but we haven't actually seen them do anything bad! Show, don't tell! They need to, like, raid Big Garage and try to steal Gumption's arm if you want me to see them as an enemy.
Remember that nonsense I wrote about T. Rex in my C/w notes post? I can't believe they're doing basically the same joke on the actual show!
But how about… not capture or kill… but befriend the Axiom and/or release it into the wild… I know, I know, they can't travel far enough to move it to a safe distance from humans. But it just offends me on principle that after all that talk of diversity etc, when the characters actually meet a truly alien, unique species, they only consider the options of killing or capturing and exploiting them, and nobody even tries to ask “hey, shouldn't these creatures have rights, even if we are forced to disregard them in self-defence for the moment?”
You know who I need to appear on screen ASAP? Bounty. Ask it everything! Does it remember being an Axiom? What did it feel like? What does it think about its transformation and new role?
I thought Grand's special gun was just Even's gun?
Did Janine just call Belgard Signet's “robot wife”? Hell yeah
Me for an hour straight, not having read the description: Blease Do Not Kill My Alien Child
I guess that's at least postponed now though…
The situation did immediately get mildly creepy again, which makes me concerned. Is this just a different reason to kill a different Axiom – to Free Innocents from a Lotus Eater Machine?
I'm getting serious September flashbacks. Honestly, between this, the other team's arc which felt like a crossover about the Chime in Marielda, and everyone getting a personal mech, this half of the season is starting to feel like Counter/weight 2, which is sad because at the beginning the atmosphere was much more original. Also I miss Primary and Satellite's correspondence, it was such a good framing device and a touching relationship at the same time!
Polyphony's powers and way of thinking are more similar to Quire than anything else
I feel very relieved and vindicated by the direction this story took!
Hell yeah finally more about the Waking Cadent!! I've been waiting for that for how many episodes now?
Now that we've seen her in person I hate her actually
Amend that, I hate both Cadents. A plague on both their houses!
46-54
Good on you Even, what's even the point of a military background if you don't pull rank on some jerks
Am I glad to hear from the Rapid Evening again!
Bold of Austin to assume we could forget who Primary and Satellite were
Okay, I first had this question a ton of episodes ago, but now it is relevant again: does Grey know the contents of the previous Satellite's final message? She knows about its existence because the numbers match up (yeah I went back and checked), but does she know that Crystal Palace either made a colossal miscalculation about Independence's route or lied on purpose for some reason?
Wait, characters still have beliefs? I don't remember this coming up since the game change
I completely forgot about Tender's cyborg legs and also misheard “I have a fake leg” as “thick leg” and was like “Uh good for you but how's that gonna help?!”
Once again, Team Exploration goes ahead and leaves Team Heist without resources lol. What do you mean they're using our ship for an orbital drop? What do you mean they've taken all axiom scanners? :D Seriously though, it's a shame that the sessions were played in this order because in-universe I see no reason why they wouldn't say “Hey before you go after Acre Seven, let's fly over Terncage and do a scan real quick” (the range on the scanners is far enough for that, right?)
I don't get how Ache works. For Quire, it made what it wishes it could be, but for everyone else it just made evil clones vaguely themed after their regrets?
TENDER IS A GAY DISASTER
I haven't heard such a spectacular meltdown since Calhoun probably, holy shit
TENDER IS A DISASTER SQUARED she starts talking to a woman and just doesn't stop! This is a great episode
I like how Gig immediately says no to the devil's bargain
Oh Signet disregarding the digital Blooming, you clearly haven't seen/read (the future version of) Solaris :D
Oh no, it's the Smiling God! Came to visit another podcast that used to have a personification of capitalism as a big boss evil god
A crit at the last possible moment, after a long string of 1s… Ali's dice see through the fourth wall!
I… didn't fully understand the reveal of how it was all connected
Okay, so the Dark Day could have been prevented by keeping the gun dealer priest alive and allowing him to arm the NEH so that it could take over Twilight Mirage and wouldn't need to activate plan B i.e. come here and block signal from the Crystal Palace? Correct? It makes sense now, but Our Profit seems to be from such a far future that I just can't imagine how this plan was created and put in place
O….k… I actually expected Grand to leave the team and go off on his own (or become an NPC) as a consequence of the holiday special if he was the sacrificed character instead of the Chthonic. But now that's kind of strange to hear after all that talk of redemption and second chances?
You get a status! And you get a status! Everyone gets a status!
Wow having a near death experience out of the blue is so relaxing for Fourteen! :D
NEVER MIND HOLY CRAP
I'm glad that at least Fourteen kept their signature move from The Veil. I was wondering what it would be like, and honestly expected it to be just thrown out
Excuse me, “Omega in Mass Effect 2” and “cool place run by trustworthy people” are literally opposite concepts, have we even played the same game
Grand: Who likes Fourteen Fifteen?
Tender, not even letting him finish: ME!!!
Welp, my first guess about the Waking Cadent's identity was correct
Holy crap! I never realized Independence was in that one flashback episode of Counter/weight
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5/7/17, 3:33am - update pt3, just random odds and ends
it was so great to see my fam the other weekend.
Me taven and trusten all have the same hair and we’re like all about the same thickness now it’s weird lol. All jamming out to the new Kendrick, I felt Really in sync with the first time like ever. It was nice. Like even though we’re not the closest we still relate really well? maybe? I guess I don’t get to have too many real conversations.
Shit wait well our hair is a Little different, did I ever wrote that I followed through with getting it dyed? It’s like ‘barely blonde’ kinda gold, it’s super fucking sweet. might go a little lighter sometime this month, but yeah when I visited dar it lightened up so I Must’ve mentioned it. Trusten told me he loved it though so I feel super fucking accomplished. And Roxy did too, actually, and said that I was wearing my hair fine, so that’s fucking spectacular. I’ve literally gotten nothing but compliments lately hahah.
I was heckling trusten about him having a harem of girls smooching on him and he says “yeah sucks that they don’t know that I’m gay” and I responded “I mean I’m biflexible, it’s 2017 yknow” and he says “I mean it’s 2017. Of course.” Trusten’s too good at joking like how I do, I can’t get a real good read on what his actual thoughts are a lot of the time. And Taven, though he’s come miles, still doesn’t conversate the best. I have to drive the conversation and he’s all on board, but seems like he doesn’t know where to take it himself kinda. Though, to be fair, I was avoiding a lot of the little drama kid peeps because I don’t know what the fuck to say to them either. Maybe they feel the same? The only moments I kinda bonded with the new drama kids were where we memed a ‘longest yea boi’ and they were happy I joined in, and when I was congratulating people after the play and talking about random shit. Hunter said I made the one girl’s day just saying that she did great. I guess I just say to people what I’d want people to say to me?
One of the seniors was bawling his eyes out for a long time after the play was over, I like hugged him for a bit and told him “don’t worry, you never really leave.” I’m not sure if that was even true. I feel like a totally different person from who I was in high school. I’ve practically gone around the moon and come back. But I think maybe that’s what I’d have wanted to hear? Idk maybe I just gave him shitty advice and people should just move on lol. Who knowsssssssssss I’m sure it didn’t hurt him hahaha.
Been jamming out to a bunch of new music. New sylvan esso finally dropped and it’s hot as expected. New Gorrillaz I’m not super into but the song trusten put on in the car for me I bump a lot lately.
Found out my “a wise poet once said, other days other ways” might have been a rip off from School of Rock because there’s a line in the play that’s similar. I was hoping trusten was paying a personal homage to me, but ofc that wasn’t it lmao. He fucking kicked that play’s ass though. Everyone struggled on the guitar solos at the climax hahaha, but I wouldn’t have done any better for sure I fucking sucked at guitar when I was his age. His acting was so good, Hunter called him a better jack black than jack black. I think it’s the only play I’ve watched twice in a weekend hahah.
Holy shit Brianna randomly messaged me, we’re gonna go on a date tomorrow. Everything in my life is going so fucking great, man. It’s like almost ominous lol when I first got to gboro I was like “is this even bad? My life seems like it’s going so well right now wtf.” I mean I have to get recertified and this whole work move is an upheaval for sure, but I guess from playing magic back as a kid I should know that an Upheaval isn’t always a bad thing for me.
sweeeet wish me luck on this date tomorrow I have to successfully wake up before 11 lol and also not blow things with her and also get the basket of clothes out of my back seat so she doesn’t make fun of me again lmfao.
I guess I should get to work.
OH wait I forgot. So the beginning of this not-posting period I finally wrapped up BOTW. Got almost all the gear maxxed out, got all the shrines, smoked nearly a gram to myself and just played out the final boss and the cut scenes in the end game canon armor I felt sooooo fucking good about it. Everything was like perfect. Let Helena borrow the game after so it needed to be hahah.
Also I wanted to write about my first day in gboro because I thought it was lulzy.
Friday I was supposed to go to a work function/party at Frankie’s fun park at 4pm, so after the regular thursday post tournament safety shenanigans I got to bed at like 4, fell asleep by like 6, felt normal. Maybe it was 8 and I’m lying to myself to cover my ass but who knows. Ended up sleeping all the fucking way through friday until 9pm, woke up to a dead phone in a fucking panic that I was late for the first time in an eternity. Did my classic routine of running screaming through the house terrified that my life was over. Fonzi calmed me the fuck down and told me to just text my boss. I immediately went to default “sorry, i’m sick” text mode and he was just like get the fuck in here so I don’t have to stay. Wasn’t even really mad. Turned out just fine lol.
So I texted Ash that I was actually coming into town, reminded her to be up at 6:30 to let me in and she said she would.
I texted her on the way home and she didn’t respond so I already figured she was gonna have a hard time getting up at best. So I get there, she doesn’t respond, I just start chilling on the porch, smoke some cigarettes, call every 15 mins or so. I got out of work late so I got there at 7 and she’s still not up at 10 so I run off to do get a prescription filled and am just mellow as fuck about it. She finally woke up when I came back about 11:30 and bless her fucking heart she had my bed set up and eye covers and sour patch kids and a bowl packed all set out just for me with a little handwritten cutesy note. She gave me a key and told me she loved me and that she was hungover and going back to sleep and we went to bed and I couldn’t imagine a better fucking start to this chapter in my life.
Every day since has at the worst been alright (there was the day after doing coke where I was suuuuper hungover), but I’ve been getting drunk and chilling with people and meeting new people and having fun and I fucking love all of it. My life is awesome. Super glad I got to switch my days this week so I’d have thursday off so I could bro one last time with the Raleigh gang, too. It’s been real.
Alright I’m out of time, it’s 4:04, I’ve gotta actually do my work now. No promises when I update next, who knows. When my life is going well I don’t feel the urge to ponder things as hard so I don’t sit on the porch wanting to type shit out forever so idk forreal.
But I anticipate some more wacky girl hijynx to happen and for me to get back into playing magic the gathering with Ash and Aaron, and everyone’s starting to take bets on when we have a threesome. So far the closest was when Ash was sick dying in bed and I rubbed her back and he made tea for us [read: not a sexy moment at all. But was really cute when Ash started telling me feelings about Aaron] so I doubt that 100% lmao.
Anyway, I don’t really know what’s gonna happen for once, so I guess we’ll just see lol
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