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artist-issues · 3 months

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this my sound silly, but do you have any advice on how you come up with something to say for a story?

I think you're right that good art has something to say and communicates it well. That's certainly true of every story I've ever loved.

But while I love inventing fantasy worlds, you've made me realize I've never actually planned to say anything with them.

I've got lots of opinions, lots of beliefs, lots of stuff to say, but now that I realize I need to, it's been hard to pick one of those to be the core point of a story.

the trouble is, the dominant writing advice I saw online was the opposite. that stories made for the purpose of communicating a message or promoting something just turn into preachy propaganda, so the best way to make a good story (that, dare I invoke the curse, appealed to a wider audience) was to muddy it so you could take away as many interpretations from it as possible. thus most of the material I've given myself to work with has been slightly poisoned.

I really like how you said all of that! I agree with your assessment of the advice most people give.

Here's how I do it:

A loose concept, like a disgraced knight falling in love with the King's head of staff who's come to live in the village he's hiding in, will pop into my brain. I'll like the concept. I'll imagine one or two interactions between them that I just like.

But when it comes time to write anything down, even just for my own notes—then it's time to find a message. And usually that's not hard, or at least, that's not disingenuous, because:

what I believe, my worldview, was already subliminally shaping the things that I liked.

So then as I go to write down the names, the histories, the plot points, of my fun little knight love story idea, I find that something kind of...readily fits them.

But now here's the catch; it really helps to know what you believe, and to feel strongly about it, for all of that to come as naturally as possible.

About Propaganda "versus" Stories:

It's a lie to say that something which is created to say something is always propaganda, and something which is created with no careful point thought out is always art. Silly thing to believe. It's like saying "all words are propaganda." No, all words are communication. It's not our fault they don't like that we know what we want to say, and we want them to understand it clearly.

I mean. All art is propaganda, if by "propaganda" or "preachy" you mean, "I tried to take what was going on in my head & heart and put it in your head & heart." All art, all storytelling, is that. Otherwise you'd just keep what you think and feel bouncing around in your own brain, instead of doing anything outward (writing, drawing, painting, singing, speaking, reacting with your body language) with it.

I think what people are getting at when they say "avoid being preachy" or "that's not art, it's propaganda" is "you weren't being genuine." And that can be true. Sometimes people can tack a meaning onto a movie or a story where it doesn't fit because they either a) don't believe that strongly in the thing themselves, but everyone around them was clamoring for it or b) they were lazy and didn't do the work to make the story fit, genuinely, with the message, in a way that enhances and makes the message winsome.

But as bad as those two mistakes are, neither of them prove that intending to say something with your story, very carefully and genuinely, that you don't want misinterpreted, is somehow a bad thing.

Look at the fairy tales that the Brothers' Grimm collected. Look at any stories from the time before commercialism: Our oldest stories combined genuine enjoyment with the virtues and meanings that made enjoyment possible/worthwhile.

Anyway. I have a feeling you agree with me already about this so I'll hop down off that soap box.

What Comes First: Having Fun Making What You Like, or Choosing Something to Say?

I don't think it is wrong to tell a story that...you didn't have an intended thesis written down for. I think people like J.R.R. Tolkien and Walter Elias Disney prove that. But the thing is, what they believed got infused into their storytelling, because of course it did. It can't help it. When you want the audience to like your lead character, you make her likeable—but the traits you think are likeable are informed by something.

Snow White is innocent and pure because Walt Disney naturally considered those things beautiful and good and worth liking. He probably didn't even think to write it down and revolve everything around it: it just came out that way.

Frodo is a little scholar, and willing to soldier on with what little he can do, despite his lack of experience, because those are character traits Tolkien felt were good and likeable. Why? Because deep down, in his worldview, he believes being book-smart and doing what you can with what you have is valuable. And that just...comes out, much like his valuing of history, in the thing he creates.

Now, if they didn't know what they believed--or if they were insecure people "blown about by every wind of false doctrine" that comes their way--or if they were focused more on satisfying what the largest number of people liked--they wouldn't have been able to infuse the story with any genuine meaning, planned-out or natural.

That's what I think.

I think it's all a matter of loving what's good and true. Training your affections, so that you care most about things that are worth caring about—the things you feel most strongly about in characters will be the things you feel most strongly about in life. I love Stitch because I love redemption. Not primarily because I love sci-fi characters, the color blue, or the blend of ugly-and-cute—even though I do like those things on a more minor scale. See?

But if you've trained your affections for junk food—you feel most strongly appreciative of characters that are hot, or spout off funny one-liners, or come onscreen to cool music—then that's what will naturally come up in your own storytelling.

There's also nothing wrong with doing it the other way; saying you want to teach a certain lesson, and then coming up with characters and settings to fit that lesson. Coming at it from that direction is just as valid—as long as you put in the work, and care more about that lesson you genuinely believe in than you do what other people think.

Anyway,

To Write Your Own Main Point/Thesis/Armature/Theme

When it’s time to start writing anything down, it’s time to figure out the main point, and that’s when I...typically think about what I'd want to teach the kids I'm around, to be honest.

With my disgraced-knight love story, I go "what is it he loves about the girl, in all those vague vibe-y scenes I’ve been picturing?" And I make the connection between her virtuous character traits to what I want him, the main character, to learn.

So for example, she used to live in the palace, working for the King, but she was humble enough to give all that up and live in a no-name town to take care of her stepfather. He's disgraced and doesn't want anyone to know who he is—well, that's a pride issue, totally the opposite of how humble his love interest is. And why’s she humble? Because she’s not focused on herself. She doesn’t care about her own reputation or status. So then I just reverse engineer that: the point of the story is "Live in the King's name, not your own." Now one of the two main characters embodies that—the other has to learn it, and the story is the obstacle course he’s pushed through to get there.

I wasn't consciously thinking about making her the king's former head of staff, or him disgraced, when I first came up with the vague concept of the story, see? I just liked the "vibe" of a hopeless dude suddenly seeing a ray of light in the "vibe" of a girl from poor circumstances who seems happy regardless of them. I liked that "vibe." Then I traced what I liked about the vibe back to something that is true and worth teaching or appreciating in real life.

I’m in a job I don’t love right now, and it could make me miserable, but if I just remember “in everything you do, whether in word or in deed, do for the glory of the Lord,” then my focus isn’t on myself and I have joy and hope. And that hope can be used to point others, around me, to hope, too. So I’m not “preaching” something disingenuous; I’m living it, because this is what I believe, so no wonder it’s also leaking it’s way into my story. I just happen to be creating a pipe so that the leak flows more smoothly, which can only help, in the long run.

But I’ve done it other ways, too. Once I watched kind of from afar as a friend’s family fell apart. I felt like, from the outside, I could see where one of my friends was hurting and what they needed to accept (from the Bible) to move forward, but I wasn’t in a position to say it to my friend directly. Then I figured, “if my one friend is going through this situation, others probably are too, and this lesson from the Bible is universal anyway” so I…made up an analogy for the way their family fell apart, then came up with an ending that taught the “family” in the analogy the lesson I got from the Bible. So for that, you can see how I first came up with the main point, then built up characters and a world and a story to fit around it.

Both ways work, the chicken or the egg first. But they only work if you are committed to working hard and serving others with your story, not committed to being popular or “only making what YOU like.”

Make sense? I hope so! Thank you for the question!

#Asked #answered #storytelling #writing #writing tips #stories #how to write #themes #theming #main point #Walt Disney #j.r.r. tolkien

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jisungsplatforms · 3 years

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[Chapter II: The Red Beanie Cutie]

Pairing: Producer/Music Major! Han Jisung x Photographer! fem! reader

Genre: NSFW! Smut; non idol au, college au, strangers to lovers

Warnings: Mature Content! strong language, sexting, masterbation (m&f) + kinda guided masterbation (f), nudes/unsolicited pictures of *certain areas*

Chapter word count: 1.5k (relatively short chapter)

Taglist: @hyunjeongins @seungstarss @es-kay-zee @hyunjinsplaything @formidxble @freckledquokka (want to be added? send an ask or a dm! <3)

Min’s ho3: uh- hi? 👋🏻

this is minho’s “fine ass friend with the red beanie” 👁👁

shitshitshitshit SHIT.

Your mind was jumbled and your palms were sweaty. How the hell did I even get his number? You backtrack to an hour ago, back at the party….To when Minho asked for your phone.

...Minho…...

You bit your lip, trying to think logically. No no no. It’s probably not the red beanie cutie, Y/n. It’s probably just Minho being an ass again and pretending to be his friend. That’s it! At least...That’s what you hope.

Min’s ho3: uhh hello? you still there?

im hoping that this is the cutie who was babysitting hyunjin earlier lol

Your blood ran cold. You really didn’t want to believe it. No way was it really the red beanie cutie.

Me: If this REALLY is the cute boy with the red hat...send me a picture.

You sighed. This should prove something. Your phone ‘pinged’ a second later.

Min’s ho3: damn straight to the point, are you? youre a lot more bold than i thought

You shivered, turning red. As much as you wanted to fuck him, you didn’t want to look desperate.

Me: I meant an INNOCENT picture. Of your face, I mean.

Min’s ho3: uh- duh! that’s what i meant???

what did YOU think??

Your face burned at the thought of misinterpreting his “innocent” message.

Me: Just thought I had to clarify for you! Nasty

Min’s ho3: whatever you say, babe 😙🤪

You gave him a minute for him to respond, putting down your phone to give yourself a breather. You sincerely hope that this was Minho cause that option is MUCH better than accidentally texting the person you’re thirsting over. After about 30 seconds, your phone pinged twice. One from Min’s hoe...and one from Minho ho ho. Oh dear lord.

You decided to read Minho’s messages first. Tapping on his notification, the phone directed you to your chat, revealing the conversation you two had during the party.

Minho ho ho 😼: You’re welcome 😉

You were seriously panicking at this point. Your fingers tapped onto the keyboard like a madman. You didn’t know if you wanted to hug Minho or murder that bitch.

Me: shutupshutupshutup You did NOT

Minho ho ho 😼: Oh but I did, my dear best friend haha gross

Better play your cards correctly, sweetie. Just keep in mind...he asked for your number!

His name is Jisung btw! Be nice to him! He’s a shy, sensitive boy. I’ll kill you if you make him sad!

You ignored Minho’s last sentence and nearly squealed at the information, trying to play it cool. You giddily switched to Jisung’s tab. Huge mistake. You should’ve prepared yourself, at least a little. You knew he was hot but the picture he sent you? Oh boy. His hair, which you now know is blond under that beanie, was tousled, falling perfectly on his gorgeous face. In the picture, he was now wearing a grey hoodie and posed like a model, the expression had was absolutely fierce. Oh yeah, he knows he’s hot shit.

Min’s ho3: *image*

it’s a little messy. srry i tried making it a little nicer for you, you know. since you’re a photography major and all that.

Me: No, It’s fine!! I think you look hot! 👍

You wanted to slap yourself. Oh Lord, please end me. Your phone lit up with another text.

Min’s ho3: oh really? 😏

well i think you’re hot too, y/n 😉😚

AHHHHHH

Me: Wait how’d you know my name? And my major?

Minho’s ho3: uhhh you are minho’s friend right??? cause that’s what he told ME and i’m really hoping he didn’t give me the wrong number…

cause honestly. it is something he would legit do alkskdjks

Me: Rest assured. This really is Y/n the photography major

Min’s ho3: well y/n the photography major

i’m jisung and i think youre hot too

and not to be nsfw or anything but i’d like to fuck you too 😉😉

ohmygoshohmygosh. This is really happening. Taking the little bit of confidence you had, you texted him something you thought was bold.

Me: Oh really now? Think you can fuck me good, pretty boy?

Min’s ho3: oh baby i know i’ll have you seeing stars

fuck you so good you won’t be able to think about anything but me and me only

You had to put down your phone to take another breather. Now, not only were your palms wet but so was between your legs. You’ve never texted with anybody like this but there’s a first time for everything, right? Your dominant hand slid down to your pajamas to tease your clit over the cotton material. Shy, my ass…

Min’s ho3: wait wait wait. before we do anything, just let me confirm something

you are single, right? youre not dating hyunjin or anything??

You stopped your movements on your clit. Am I seeing this right? You reread the message a few more times before bursting out in laughter.

Me: HAHAHAHAHA NO WE’RE NOT

Hyunjin’s my best friend. Been friends since we were 5. Dating Hyunjin would be like dating your brother ew

Min’s ho3: LOL OKAY OKAY. just making sure

infidelity is NOT my thing

You were heart warmed. He made sure you weren’t with anyone before getting nasty. Which shouldn’t make you so touched, it should be a basic common courtesy, but nonetheless, it still made you happy knowing he’s a respectable person.

Min’s ho3: okay now that i know i can have you

do you still want to continue?

Me: Yes daddy ;)

Min’s ho3: oh fuck okay

since you left so early, we didn’t get to talk, beautiful

we could’ve been fucking right now instead of texting

Me: Well...we could do both

Your hand went back to your clit, this time reaching inside your bottoms.

Me: You make me so horny baby

I want you

Min’s ho3: already touching yourself babe? how naughty

I barely even said anything but here you are. playing with yourself like some desperate whore

You whimpered, putting more pressure on your clit. You were never that into degrading but with Jisung? You’d gladly take it any day.

Me: Please tell me what to do sir

Min’s ho3: finger yourself. only one finger tho

You removed your pajamas and panties and flung them to the floor. You rubbed your thigh with one hand and slowly moved it to your sopping core. Gathering your wetness, you fondled yourself before inserting your middle finger inside you. “Hmm...fuck,” you moaned. With your other hand, you checked Jisung’s text when you saw your phone light up.

Min’s ho3: are you doing it baby?

Me: Yes sir

Min’s ho3: really? good. keep playing with yourself

i’ll tell you when i want you to stop

You sighed, pumping your finger. You wanted to enjoy it but it wasn’t enough. You definitely needed something more than just one mere finger. You contemplated whether or not you should disobey Jisung and grab your dildo from between your mattress. But you also wanted to see how much he could make you cum with just his words.

Min’s ho3: one finger babe?

You moved your phone and angled it to show your pussy. You wanted to moan seeing your finger deep inside you. Snapping a pic and sending it to Jisung, you threw your phone beside you and started pumping your middle finger faster, circling your clit with your thumb. Immediately, your phone lit up again.

Min’s ho3: fuck baby you’ll be the death of me

you know what? add two more fingers for me, beautiful. you deserve it

You cried, slipping your pointer and ring finger into your core. Now you definitely feel a lot fuller. You pumped your fingers in and out, breathing heavily. You felt so dirty, taking orders like this from a man you barely even knew. There was something so erotic about the whole thing that it drew you closer to your orgasm.

Jisung, on the other hand, was going insane as well; who wouldn’t be when he’s sexting with the most attractive person he’s ever seen? His right hand pumped his cock like a maniac. He was sweating, biting his thin lips so that no noise can come out, potentially waking up his hyungs. He knew he would die of embarrassment if they caught him masterbating to someone he just met today-or just masterbating in general-but it was getting harder to control himself. Especially with that little surprise photo? Shit- he thought he was in heaven, feeling like he would cum in that moment. The sound of a notification from his phone made his grab it from his desk.

Y/n the cute photographer: Closr! I’m so fuckinf ckose

Wsnna cum si bad

Me: yeah? then cum fir me y/n

With Jisung’s permission, you let your release taint your once clean bed. You shook as you orgasmed, moaning so loud you were glad your roommate was out of town. Once you finished, you slowly pulled your fingers out, wincing when the emptiness kicked in. You laid like a dead fish, trying to catch your breath. Your orgasm was so intense that you almost immediately fell asleep. Almost. A notification from Jisung shook you out of your trance.

(3) new message(s) from Min’s ho3

Min’s ho3: *image*

look how much you drive me mad, baby

hm you’re probably tired now after hopefully cumming so much so i’ll leave you...goodnight, y/n! hope you sleep well tonight cutie 😚

You sighed in frustration. How dare he switch from daddy to baby so fast. How are you supposed to sleep when he sent you a clear, mouthwatering image of his dick and abs covered in his cum?

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#stray kids smut #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz fanfic #skz smut #han jisung smut #han jisung series #han jisung scenarios #han jisung imagines #han jisung x reader #Late Night Indulges

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mybg3notebook · 3 years

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I LOVE reading those, so just right from the beginning, I wanted to say that I'd love to see you keep up the good work, but with that being said, I just wanted to add my two cents if that would be okay!

Overall, my thoughts on those analysis, is that they're really on point huge majority of the time. But they misunderstand the most basic part of his character. He is not psychopathic. He has emotions, feelings, but just as you said, is also a victim turned abuser, that is in constant survival mode, and is actively trying to insure his survival by means of manipulation.

The scar reading scene is the biggest example of them being, to some degree, fundamentally wrong. He is vulnerable in that scene, showing trauma and genuine shame. Even though he is doing is very consistently, he's not manipulating Tav in that instance. It's one of those rare raw moments where he drops the facade.

He was a bad, corrupt man as a mortal, but that doesn't exclude him from also showing the subtilty of simply being quote "human"

Underneath that mask, he's scared, and traumatized. And those factors manifest as him entering the cycle of abuse and that 24/7 survival ensuring strategy.

Hello!

Thank you very much. It's very nice to read someone disagreeing in a mature way, since I've been receiving several hate messages from Astarion fanatics (because there is no other way to call them, defending a fictional char as if it were a holy symbol when in the end it's all about EA and the interpretation done by a nobody). I'm glad you enjoyed these notes and I thank you for your insight. However, I'm afraid that I’ll stick with my interpretation because, so far, I don't see strong enough proof to see him in another way yet.

If you check the list of approvals and disapprovals of Astarion, he has a very psychopathic behaviour in my opinion. Psychopathy is characterised by lack of empathy and remorse, and disinhibited, egotistical traits. Reading the list of meta-knowledge I've compiled, it seems fair for me to use that adjective to describe him.

The whole interpretation of his character would be very different for me if he truly would have been a victim before turning into a vampire. But he was a victimiser before, and ended up as a vampire because of his own greed and abuse (again, all EA). In a way, Cazador “brought” justice to Baldur's Gate (a wicked justice, that is). This is why I insist that I see the story of an abuser who found a bigger abuser, not the story of a victim turning into a victimiser. He started as victimiser, and as a spawn, he became victim of Cazador, aspiring to retake his position of victimiser.

I agree with you. I never denied his “humanity” as vulnerability. I emphasised many times that, like any victimiser, he suffers his own pain. Being evil doesn't make him immune to it. But it's always about him and himself. We all agree that since he is free for the first time in 200 years it's reasonable that he is more than eager to just think only about himself. So, once more, all these characteristics we agree revolt about himself and his pain, which is what psychopath cares about. I just add the context of his mortal past, which was of an abuser as well.

For some reason if you describe Astarion with what we see in the game, some people think you are judging him, and there is this need to justify all his list of evil approvals and disapprovals because he became a victim of Cazador after failing in outsmarting him in his corruption. But the raw description of his persona is that: a psychopath, who approves most assaults, and assassinations without being provoked, he approves all sorts of cruelty, animal cruelty, slavery, torture, humiliations. He even comments/approves Arabella death's and Mayrina's tragedy as “funny” shows. We don't see remorse when he accidentally kills Tav, supposedly the unique ally he has so far. He was sure that he had gotten ridden of Tav—his secret was safe—, so he is surprised when he sees them alive, and then he dismisses Tav's anger, adding that they should thank him even, because he is not a true vampire. The datamining scenes only show he suffers his own curse, and aspires for more power to be free first, and to bend the will of others, later. I only see a reiterative psychopath behaviour mirroring Cazador. I know that if Tav doesn't fail those checks during the bite scene, Astarion says that he won't forget the gift (a gift Tav doesn’t know because only via datamining we know that scene was not about thirst). I point this out just to show how, in the only reasonable situation in which we could have seen remorse, we see none.

The scar scene, in my opinion, is about vulnerability as you say, true. And shame, shame for having been too careless in outsmarting Cazador and ended up as his spawn after accepting his bite. We see this is an issue since he is pretty sensitive when Tav suggests to outsmart Raphael. He feels that mistake deep in his bones.

I see you understand the scar scene differently, and it's totally valid. My main goal in doing this blog was to keep my own interpretation in one single place, to easily share with friends, and to keep it as an archive for when the game is fully released so I can see how wrong I was or how much the characters changed. And also, as a side-consequence, to share it with the fandom if they want to read these long posts since an Astan friend encouraged me to do it. Evidently, this was a terrible mistake according to a certain group of his fans.

Again, I never denied that he is not traumatised, nor scared (therefore his paranoid attitude with Cazador), but he comes from an evil past, passes through vampirism (which increases even more his evil traits) and spent 200 years under a sadist master. Then you see all of his approvals and disapprovals, all the confrontations you can have with him with a good-aligned Tav, and the bear-drunk scene (which implies that any attempt to keep a facade is lowered because he is drunk on blood), I can't see, so far in EA, any hint that can tell me he wants to be something different of what he is in terms of evilness (also, why would he be? Bg1 and Bg2 have many wonderful Evil chars that never changed their alignment in the 2 games, not everything is about redemption, which is exactly my point in the post of Power). He only wants to kill Cazador, hinting that he may be the next most powerful vampire afterwards (with the help of the tadpole). We all see how much he enjoys the tadpole powers to bend the will of others. But he doesn’t care in the slightest to inflict upon others that mind control that tortured him for more than 200 years. The lack of empathy in him is obvious to me: he doesn’t even hesitate to inflict on others what tortured him for centuries. All these details bring me to interpret all what I wrote. And again, I’m describing him, this is not to judge evil chars. I like evil chars too, my point is I work with what I see.

It's also true that all the info we have is in EA, but like I said before, my interpretation is neither “sacred word” nor “unable to change''. So far, I see all that list of content in EA, the datamining information, and the Dev's notes (which were really key for me to see many details I was not seeing) and I conclude what I did in those analyses. The devs notes made me realise that more than one situation was manipulative when I was understanding it in a more honest way. For this reason dev's notes were removed from the game. Sven said that the core concept in the relationships with the companions was going to be trust. Evidently Dev's notes were ruining that process. So, sadly, no more narrative peeks in the code.

So, I agree to disagree. I never had the slightest pretension of being... I don't know, “the truth” of anything. If some people think so is because they love to misinterpret what's plainly written. Or my English is truly that bad.

With all this said, once more I thank you for being the first mature message in a while, and I thank you for your opinion. I also would take advantage of this message to say that I will refrain myself from doing Astarion-related content anymore. I'm very tired of these attitudes in fandom. I don't want any more headaches. From now on, I will focus on the rest of the companions instead.

Thank you again.

#bg3 early access - answers

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howwelldoyouknowyourmoon · 3 years

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Religious Trauma Syndrome: How Some Organized Religion Leads to Mental Health Problems

By Valerie Tarico

Marlene Winell interviewed March 25, 2013

At age sixteen I began what would be a four year struggle with bulimia. When the symptoms started, I turned in desperation to adults who knew more than I did about how to stop shameful behavior—my Bible study leader and a visiting youth minister. “If you ask anything in faith, believing,” they said. “It will be done.” I knew they were quoting [3] the Word of God. We prayed together, and I went home confident that God had heard my prayers. But my horrible compulsions didn’t go away. By the fall of my sophomore year in college, I was desperate and depressed enough that I made a suicide attempt. The problem wasn’t just the bulimia. I was convinced by then that I was a complete spiritual failure. My college counseling department had offered to get me real help (which they later did). But to my mind, at that point, such help couldn’t fix the core problem: I was a failure in the eyes of God. It would be years before I understood that my inability to heal bulimia through the mechanisms offered by biblical Christianity was not a function of my own spiritual deficiency but deficiencies in Evangelical religion itself.

Dr. Marlene Winell is a human development consultant in the San Francisco Area. She is also the daughter of Pentecostal missionaries. This combination has given her work an unusual focus. For the past twenty years she has counseled men and women in recovery from various forms of fundamentalist religion including the Assemblies of God denomination in which she was raised. Winell is the author of Leaving the Fold – A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving their Religion [4], written during her years of private practice in psychology. Over the years, Winell has provided assistance to clients whose religious experiences were even more damaging than mine. Some of them are people whose psychological symptoms weren’t just exacerbated by their religion, but actually caused by it.

Two years ago, Winell made waves by formally labeling what she calls “Religious Trauma Syndrome” (RTS) and beginning to write and speak on the subject for professional audiences. When the British Association of Behavioral and Cognitive Psychologists published a series of articles on the topic, members of a Christian counseling association protested what they called excessive attention to a “relatively niche topic.” One commenter said, “A religion, faith or book cannot be abuse but the people interpreting can make anything abusive.”

Is toxic religion simply misinterpretation? What is religious trauma? Why does Winell believe religious trauma merits its own diagnostic label?

Let’s start this interview with the basics. What exactly is religious trauma syndrome?

Winell: Religious trauma syndrome (RTS) is a set of symptoms and characteristics that tend to go together and which are related to harmful experiences with religion. They are the result of two things: immersion in a controlling religion and the secondary impact of leaving a religious group. The RTS label provides a name and description that affected people often recognize immediately. Many other people are surprised by the idea of RTS, because in our culture it is generally assumed that religion is benign or good for you. Just like telling kids about Santa Claus and letting them work out their beliefs later, people see no harm in teaching religion to children.

But in reality, religious teachings and practices sometimes cause serious mental health damage. The public is somewhat familiar with sexual and physical abuse in a religious context. As Journalist Janet Heimlich has documented in, Breaking Their Will, Bible-based religious groups that emphasize patriarchal authority in family structure and use harsh parenting methods can be destructive.

But the problem isn’t just physical and sexual abuse. Emotional and mental treatment in authoritarian religious groups also can be damaging because of 1) toxic teachings like eternal damnation or original sin 2) religious practices or mindset, such as punishment, black and white thinking, or sexual guilt, and 3) neglect that prevents a person from having the information or opportunities to develop normally.

Can you give me an example of RTS from your consulting practice?

Winell: I can give you many. One of the symptom clusters is around fear and anxiety. People indoctrinated into fundamentalist Christianity as small children sometimes have memories of being terrified by images of hell and apocalypse before their brains could begin to make sense of such ideas. Some survivors, who I prefer to call “reclaimers,” [8] have flashbacks, panic attacks, or nightmares in adulthood even when they intellectually no longer believe the theology. One client of mine, who during the day functioned well as a professional, struggled with intense fear many nights. She said,

“I was afraid I was going to hell. I was afraid I was doing something really wrong. I was completely out of control. I sometimes would wake up in the night and start screaming, thrashing my arms, trying to rid myself of what I was feeling. I’d walk around the house trying to think and calm myself down, in the middle of the night, trying to do some self-talk, but I felt like it was just something that – the fear and anxiety was taking over my life.” Or consider this comment, which refers to a film [9] used by evangelicals to warn about the horrors of the “end times” for nonbelievers.

“I was taken to see the film “A Thief In The Night”. WOW. I am in shock to learn that many other people suffered the same traumas I lived with because of this film. A few days or weeks after the film viewing, I came into the house and mom wasn’t there. I stood there screaming in terror. When I stopped screaming, I began making my plan: Who my Christian neighbors were, who’s house to break into to get money and food. I was 12 years old and was preparing for Armageddon alone.”

In addition to anxiety, RTS can include depression, cognitive difficulties, and problems with social functioning. In fundamentalist Christianity, the individual is considered depraved and in need of salvation. A core message is “You are bad and wrong and deserve to die.” (The wages of sin is death [10].) This gets taught to millions of children through organizations like Child Evangelism Fellowship [11] and there is a group organized [12] to oppose their incursion into public schools. I’ve had clients who remember being distraught when given a vivid bloody image of Jesus paying the ultimate price for their sins. Decades later they sit telling me that they can’t manage to find any self-worth.

“After twenty-seven years of trying to live a perfect life, I failed. . . I was ashamed of myself all day long. My mind battling with itself with no relief. . . I always believed everything that I was taught but I thought that I was not approved by God. I thought that basically I, too, would die at Armageddon.

“I’ve spent literally years injuring myself, cutting and burning my arms, taking overdoses and starving myself, to punish myself so that God doesn’t have to punish me. It’s taken me years to feel deserving of anything good.”

Born-again Christianity and devout Catholicism [13] tell people they are weak and dependent, calling on phrases like “lean not unto your own understanding [14]” or “trust and obey [11].” People who internalize these messages can suffer from learned helplessness. I’ll give you an example from a client who had little decision-making ability after living his entire life devoted to following the “will of God.” The words here don’t convey the depth of his despair.

“I have an awful time making decisions in general. Like I can’t, you know, wake up in the morning, “What am I going to do today?” Like I don’t even know where to start. You know all the things I thought I might be doing are gone and I’m not sure I should even try to have a career; essentially I babysit my four-year-old all day.”

Authoritarian religious groups are subcultures where conformity is required in order to belong. Thus if you dare to leave the religion, you risk losing your entire support system as well.

“I lost all my friends. I lost my close ties to family. Now I’m losing my country. I’ve lost so much because of this malignant religion and I am angry and sad to my very core. . . I have tried hard to make new friends, but I have failed miserably. . . I am very lonely.”

Leaving a religion, after total immersion, can cause a complete upheaval of a person’s construction of reality, including the self, other people, life, and the future. People unfamiliar with this situation, including therapists, have trouble appreciating the sheer terror it can create.

“My form of religion was very strongly entrenched and anchored deeply in my heart. It is hard to describe how fully my religion informed, infused, and influenced my entire worldview. My first steps out of fundamentalism were profoundly frightening and I had frequent thoughts of suicide. Now I’m way past that but I still haven’t quite found “my place in the universe.”

Even for a person who was not so entrenched, leaving one’s religion can be a stressful and significant transition.

Many people seem to walk away from their religion easily, without really looking back. What is different about the clientele you work with?

Winell: Religious groups that are highly controlling, teach fear about the world, and keep members sheltered and ill-equipped to function in society are harder to leave easily. The difficulty seems to be greater if the person was born and raised in the religion rather than joining as an adult convert. This is because they have no frame of reference – no other “self” or way of “being in the world.” A common personality type is a person who is deeply emotional and thoughtful and who tends to throw themselves wholeheartedly into their endeavors. “True believers” who then lose their faith feel more anger and depression and grief than those who simply went to church on Sunday.

Aren’t these just people who would be depressed, anxious, or obsessive anyways?

Winell: Not at all. If my observation is correct, these are people who are intense and involved and caring. They hang on to the religion longer than those who simply “walk away” because they try to make it work even when they have doubts. Sometimes this is out of fear, but often it is out of devotion. These are people for whom ethics, integrity and compassion matter a great deal. I find that when they get better and rebuild their lives, they are wonderfully creative and energetic about new things.

In your mind, how is RTS different from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Winell: RTS is a specific set of symptoms and characteristics that are connected with harmful religious experience, not just any trauma. This is crucial to understanding the condition and any kind of self-help or treatment. (More details about this can be found on my Journey Free [15] website and discussed in my talk [16] at the Texas Freethought Convention.)

Another difference is the social context, which is extremely different from other traumas or forms of abuse. When someone is recovering from domestic abuse, for example, other people understand and support the need to leave and recover. They don’t question it as a matter of interpretation, and they don’t send the person back for more. But this is exactly what happens to many former believers who seek counseling. If a provider doesn’t understand the source of the symptoms, he or she may send a client for pastoral counseling, or to AA, or even to another church. One reclaimer expressed her frustration this way:

“Include physically-abusive parents who quote “Spare the rod and spoil the child” as literally as you can imagine and you have one fucked-up soul: an unloved, rejected, traumatized toddler in the body of an adult. I’m simply a broken spirit in an empty shell. But wait...That’s not enough!? There’s also the expectation by everyone in society that we victims should celebrate this with our perpetrators every Christmas and Easter!!”

Just like disorders such as autism or bulimia, giving RTS a real name has important advantages. People who are suffering find that having a label for their experience helps them feel less alone and guilty. Some have written to me to express their relief:

“There’s actually a name for it! I was brainwashed from birth and wasted 25 years of my life serving Him! I’ve since been out of my religion for several years now, but I cannot shake the haunting fear of hell and feel absolutely doomed. I’m now socially inept, unemployable, and the only way I can have sex is to pay for it.”

Labeling RTS encourages professionals to study it more carefully, develop treatments, and offer training. Hopefully, we can even work on prevention.

What do you see as the difference between religion that causes trauma and religion that doesn’t?

Winell: Religion causes trauma when it is highly controlling and prevents people from thinking for themselves and trusting their own feelings. Groups that demand obedience and conformity produce fear, not love and growth. With constant judgment of self and others, people become alienated from themselves, each other, and the world. Religion in its worst forms causes separation.

Conversely, groups that connect people and promote self-knowledge and personal growth can be said to be healthy. The book, Healthy Religion [17], describes these traits. Such groups put high value on respecting differences, and members feel empowered as individuals. They provide social support, a place for events and rites of passage, exchange of ideas, inspiration, opportunities for service, and connection to social causes. They encourage spiritual practices that promote health like meditation or principles for living like the golden rule. More and more, non-theists are asking [18] how they can create similar spiritual communities without the supernaturalism. An atheist congregation [19] in London launched this year and has received over 200 inquiries from people wanting to replicate their model.

Some people say that terms like “recovery from religion” and “religious trauma syndrome” are just atheist attempts to pathologize religious belief.

Winell: Mental health professionals have enough to do without going out looking for new pathology. I never set out looking for a “niche topic,” and certainly not religious trauma syndrome. I originally wrote a paper for a conference of the American Psychological Association and thought that would be the end of it. Since then, I have tried to move on to other things several times, but this work has simply grown.

In my opinion, we are simply, as a culture, becoming aware of religious trauma. More and more people are leaving religion, as seen by polls [20] showing that the “religiously unaffiliated” have increased in the last five years from just over 15% to just under 20% of all U.S. adults. It’s no wonder the internet is exploding with websites for former believers from all religions, providing forums [21] for people to support each other. The huge population of people “leaving the fold” includes a subset at risk for RTS, and more people are talking about it and seeking help. For example, there are thousands of former Mormons [22], and I was asked to speak about RTS at an Exmormon Foundation conference. I facilitate an international support group online called Release and Reclaim [23] which has monthly conference calls. An organization called Recovery from Religion, [24] helps people start self-help meet-up groups

Saying that someone is trying to pathologize authoritarian religion is like saying someone pathologized eating disorders by naming them. Before that, they were healthy? No, before that we weren’t noticing. People were suffering, thought they were alone, and blamed themselves. Professionals had no awareness or training. This is the situation of RTS today. Authoritarian religion is already pathological, and leaving a high-control group can be traumatic. People are already suffering. They need to be recognized and helped. _______________________________

Statistics update:

Numbers of American ‘nones’ continues to rise

October 18, 2019

By David Crary – Associated Press

The portion of Americans with no religious affiliation is rising significantly, in tandem with a sharp drop in the percentage that identifies as Christians, according to new data from the Pew Research Center. …

Pew says all categories of the religiously unaffiliated population – often referred to as the “nones” grew in magnitude. Self-described atheists now account for 4% of U.S. adults, up from 2% in 2009; agnostics account for 5%, up from 3% a decade ago; and 17% of Americans now describe their religion as “nothing in particular,” up from 12% in 2009.

https://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Society/2019/1018/Numbers-of-American-nones-continues-to-rise

_______________________________

Marlene Winell interviewed by Valerie Tarico on recovering from religious trauma Uploaded on January 31, 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIfABmbqSMA

24:12

On Moral Politics, a TV program with host Dr. Valerie Tarico, Marlene Winell describes the trauma that can result from harmful experiences with religious indoctrination. Dr. Winell explains that mental health issues are widespread and need to be understood just as we understand PTSD. There are steps to recovery, treatment modalities, and resources available as well. She now refers to this as RTS or Religious Trauma Syndrome. _______________________________

Links:   [3] https://www.biblestudyonjesuschrist.com/pog/ask1.htm  [4] https://marlenewinell.net/leaving-fold-former  [8] https://journeyfree.org/article/reclaimers/  [9] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Thief_in_the_Night_%28film%29  [10] https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+6%3A23&version=KJV  [11] https://valerietarico.com/2011/02/04/our-public-schools-their-mission-field/  [12] http://www.intrinsicdignity.com/  [13] https://www.maryjohnson.co/an-unquenchable-thirst/  [14] https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+3%3A5-6&version=KJV [15] https://journeyfree.org/category/uncategorized/ [16] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qrE4pMBlis  [17] https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Religion-Psychological-Guide-Mature/dp/1425924166 [18] https://www.humanistchaplaincy.org/ [19] https://www.christianpost.com/news/london-atheist-church-model-looking-to-expand-worldwide-91516 [20] https://www.pewforum.org/2012/10/09/nones-on-the-rise/  [21] https://new.exchristian.net/  [22] https://www.exmormon.org/  [23] https://journeyfree.org/group-forum/ [24] https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/

_____________________________________

Get God’s Self-Appointed Messengers Out of Your Head

Valerie Tarico Which buzz phrases from your past are stuck in your brain? “God’s messengers” were all real complicated people with biases, blind spots, favorite foods and morning breath. They were not gods and they are not you. So how can you get them out of your head or at least reduce them to muffled background noise?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElfyYA420F0

#religious trauma syndrome #Marlene Winell #Valerie Tarico

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bandomslayed · 3 years

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I’m not saying you should focus more on racism, I’m just saying that that’s something that the community as a whole needs to focus on and try to repair, I’m sure they all already know that people don’t like their ships. If that’s an issue, then groups can have a strict age limit. Easy solve. The other things are things that can be taught and learned but with hostility all that’s going to happen is a deeper divide. You said you wanted to argue with people about the things you don’t like that they do in this community. I’m paraphrasing, but why not instead want to educate them. No one will ever react well to feeling like they’re being ridiculed or patronized. People worth spending your time on are the ones you can talk to without it being a shitshow. We’re having a dialogue. I’ve felt this entire time like everything I say, someone is going to search for one thing to deliberately misinterpret or magnify unnecessarily when, if there’s something that they have an issue with, it could be a perfect opportunity to educate me instead of people being hostile. I’m college educated and can think critically, I’m moderately well spoken, I’m open to instructive criticisms and discussing things that aren’t agreed upon so I’m just sort of confused by the fact that what I’m saying is being picked apart by other anons and to a degree, you. You all want to change my mind about age gaps, despite me being with someone older irl and feeling safe and genuinely valued for the first time in a relationship in my life so why do you think that calling my dead grandpa names, redirecting the conversation and then kinda mocking me when I attempt to understand wholly and agree with some of the things you’re saying? That’s not going to convince me or anyone else. It just makes people feel defensive. Reiterating here that I’m not saying YOU specifically need to talk about racism more, and I’m not trying to diminish your experience or anything like that In just saying that those topics (discrimination of any kind, abuse of any kind) in the community are things we should be discussing instead of ships we think aren’t comfortable. I feel uncomfortable with relationships in real life and in rp all the time but that isn’t up to me to say it’s wrong or bad. It’s no ones right to tell any two consenting adults that what they’re doing is wrong. But it is a human right to tell someone when they’re being insensitive, and that’s a flaw in the community that people can be educated on and learn to handle with more sensitivity and knowledge but we’re never going to reach that point if we’re all just hostile and cruel to one another. Also reiterating that I’m not using personal examples to get cred, I just like examples because I think using them shows where I’m coming from so that any person who wants to have a dialogue can have a frame of reference for why my opinions are what they are on any topic. If I’m wrong, or insensitive, or just kinda dumb I want to know that but simply telling me I’m wrong or insensitive or dumb doesn’t teach me how not to me. And this doesn’t just mean me, I mean the whole community. It will never improve if we all just talk about the things we don’t like and give no feasible solutions.

alright i see what you want so let me switch to my white pleaser voice and deliver since you're so keen on being patronizing and in the same breath, acting like me taking what you say "the wrong way" is the problem. in bullet points so next time u come back to keep going at it u can pinpoint exactly what it is i misconstrued because u will do it anyway.

you're asking the community as a whole to care more about racism but you're talking to me who's leading the conversation in the first place. i understand you didn't imply i specifically should care more about it, but you're still using racism to discredit my point of view on age gap relationships being an important topic to discuss as well, and watering it down to just me not liking people's plots when that is not the message.

nobody is telling anyone how to live their lives. im bringing awareness to the fact that this culture is not okay. it's dangerous to our young. it NEEDS to be uncomfortable to you (you, plural) to invite to this so called critical thinking.

im not saying your partner doesn't have a right to be loving or grandpa and grandma had abuse masked as a good relationship. im saying, since it needs to be spelled out with no room for misinterpretation; the culture behind someone 10+ years older finding it completely okay to pursue someone that much younger — especially when we're talking 18 - 30 age range — needs to be looked at more closely. it's not safe in general. do exceptions exist? absolutely, but the whole two consenting adults point is a terrible one to make when at 18, you're considered that when you're still essentially just a child.

a strict age limit, which most groups adopt now, does little to actually prevent age gap relationships within roleplays. moreso, uneven power dynamics within plots being glamorized. my boss is not over 5 years older than me, but he is my boss. kpop boybands don't have age gaps of 10+ years in groups, usually, but there is a leader most times acting like a father figure, not to mention korean culture is heavy on emphasizing age-related hierarchical order, so a literal still wet behind the ears child establishing a romantic connection with someone who is not their equal? dangerous.

now let's halt. i already told you, i don't give a shit about respectability politics. it is not my job to be nice and educate anyone. and i don't mean just on this blog... most of you whites have come to assume and expect, even, that poc will be subservient, docile, and always willing to switch and nicely explain to you why the very core of the way you think about the world because you grew up sheltered w/e is not the whole picture for everyone. the worst part? most of them do. most of them do put their thinking caps on and write these novel worthy, intelligent, respectful, calculated think pieces only for the white in question to turn around and still deem it aggressive, etc. i don't do that. that is labor that most of you do not deserve.

the implication that there are feasible solutions for these problems that don't require for people to literally rework their entire mindset is naive at best. what am i supposed to do? be like nooo don't be racist, racism is bad BECAUSE it hurts people. i think all of you are old enough to know that by now. you definitely have enough internet exposure to know that, even if you grew up in all white sundown town america.

i explain my points. i actually explain my points more than the average person, yet here we are still saying im not doing enough to educate those around me as if it was my responsibility to change the way people think with sugar spice and everything nice so they feel their hand is held and it's safe to make a mistake that will consequently hurt other people as many times as they need to make it to finally grasp the reality of it and be able to just... not do that in the future. when no. no. when you hurt me, im allowed to react emotionally, not intellectually. when im angry and upset and still explaining why, its YOUR job to swallow it down and listen to what im saying, because YOU hurt me. i don't owe you civility (again; you, plural). i especially don't owe you civility when ive given you nothing but in the past and the end result is still me being an aggro freak who doesn't care for your precious feelings.

you're also assuming things. for example, assuming that im mocking you specifically when i really have not done that. if im going to mock you, im going to reply to your anon and say "okay stupid", then yeah, im mocking you. otherwise? don't assume im directing anything at you.

we're having a dialogue and this whole time all you've done is tell me to stop talking. your messages have all, in essence, said, if people want to date other people who have a shitton of years on them, that is not a problem and you look prettier talking about something else. yes, that's also paraphrased. you didn't say that, of course, but why are we still here if not because you feel personally scrutinized over the reaction to the life examples that you willingly provided?

nobody is trying to change YOUR mind, you're just not willing to consider that your age gap relationships that have been beautiful and loving and safe coexist within a culture that is wicked. a person who's 10+ older than me, 24, has no business seeing me as a potential partner. it's not appropriate. yet if they do, and i also see them as a potential partner, there's nothing inherently evil about that specific instance. it is the circumstances (past), that lead to this kind of thinking in the first place what im asking everyone to analize and understand. and it does matter. it matters as much as racism, abuse, ooc mistreatment of rp partners. again, issues do not queue and wait for something to end so they can begin anew. every conversation i choose to have i consider worth having. you're free to stay out if you don't deem it important.

you're exhausting me thinking by turning my inbox into ap debate we're achieving grand things sooo hope this helps 🖤

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silver-wield · 4 years

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(1/3) Agreeing with the 🌼 anon. That blogger didn’t use “woman empowerment” but she did use “female assertiveness”, and she’s actually an abuse victim herself. Only problem is that she seems to invalidate people who’ve had different abusive/uncomfortable and toxic experiences with behaviors like Aerith’s. I think she raises some good points about the use of the word “abusive” in fandom spaces, but her assumption that the people speaking out haven’t suffered abuse is what makes me critical.

(2/3) She’s recently talked about how Tifa forced Cloud to do things as well. I’m of the opinion that the two situations are largely different for a variety of reasons. Cloud never outright tells Tifa “no” and has it ignored. His grumping is often just a front. With Aerith, on the other hand, he’s consistently uncomfortable. Forced to take little to no pay for his work, faced with people who don’t take no for an answer, and is prevented from leaving by Aerith intercepting him.

(3/3) I said “prevented from leaving” when I should have said she exhibited some truly stalkerish behavior and jumped out at him in the darkness from an alley as he was trying to go. It’s not exactly shining behavior on her part. Especially when she then delays his leaving even more. I think it’s strange to grasp for a lot of people because Cloud doesn’t put up more of a fight, but I also think some manipulation tactics were put into play.

(4/5) Anon who agrees with 🌼 again. The issue has been bothering me a bit because she does raise a good point: why doesn’t Cloud ask anybody else for help? I was wondering if you could answer that question (no pressure, of course). What bothers me the most is that this blogger keeps assuming people are mentioning this as a way to justify hating a character. She implies that the people speaking up haven’t experienced abuse and that they only know it as an abstract concept.

(5/5) That’s incredibly damaging to a lot of people. I myself liked Aerith as a character once I got to know her better, and actually ship her with Cloud (I’m a multishipper), but there’s no ignoring that Aerith acts very strange in chapter 8, at the detriment of Cloud’s consent, comfort, time, and stability. The fact that so many people have spoken up about this isn’t a coincidence. People with bad experiences are coming out and getting disregarded. That shouldn’t be happening.

Apologies for the long post 😅 I hope you don’t mind. I’m pretty impassioned about this issue, honestly. Because I do actually agree with the blogger on multiple points, but find that she seems to keep missing the issue and hurting other people in the fandom. Cloud doesn’t need to be held at gunpoint to be put into an uncomfortable (and possibly dangerous - he doesn’t know Aerith all that well) situation. She’s right about how certain words are misused, but she’s dodging the heart of the issue.

Honestly, it’s exhausting how these people take concepts they don’t understand and slap them on shit that’s the exact opposite like if they scream they’re right enough people will believe them.

It takes as long as your browser and typing speed to look shit up.

Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive.

WITHOUT.

Assertiveness is not gender oriented, so what the fuck even are people blabbing about now? Female assertiveness? Gimme a break. Being assertive is a character trait. Some people are naturally assertive, while others need to learn how to stand up for themselves. Like a particular spiky haired protagonist.

Aerith’s not assertive, she’s pushy because she doesn’t respect Cloud, and respect is part of being assertive. Being able to get your point across without being a douchebag about it. Like how certain people are constantly screaming how they’re right and dragging everyone else through the mud. Those people aren’t assertive because assertiveness is a positive trait. It implies confidence in oneself and one’s ideals. There’s no need to be a dick to people because they believe in their viewpoint and see no reason to pull others down.

Ex: I’m both assertive and can be a dick because one of my other traits is petty bench, but on the whole I’m assertive without activating that petty bench mode until people piss me off because I operate on a respect and respect alike policy. If people come to me and give me shit then they shouldn’t expect flowers in exchange.

Back to the thing.

Aerith talks over Cloud, ignores his opinion, bullies him into doing what she wants “this is the plan, Cloud, and you’ll learn to love it” and deliberately ignores the fact he says no. That line creeps me tf out and it obviously does Cloud too because he literally steps up to her and says “what?” in an aggressive voice. Cloud has a limit and Aerith was very close to going over it.

Cloud. said. no.

And guess what? Cloud’s not assertive. Not for himself. Not until he’s pushed beyond normal means.

He couldn’t say no to Jessie, despite not being happy about the job. He couldn’t refuse to help Aerith, despite not wanting to fight Reno -- he knows how tough Turks are, he’s not an idiot -- and then he got compensated with a date that made Reno call him a weirdo (and he never accepted it either, so Aerith’s yet another person in sector 5 who took him for a fool). So, yeah, no goddamn wonder Cloud’s reluctant to argue when Aerith could ruin his hard won reputation inside of an afternoon. He says “That wasn’t the deal” when she tries to force him to stay, but can’t keep insisting when that doesn’t work. Because Cloud is shy af. Were people not paying attention to the promise? To CC? That’s real Cloud and real Cloud makes up the core of soldier Cloud. He’s a shy, awkward boy who could barely speak to his crush. He didn’t get along with others because he’s introverted. He’s quiet and reserved. Just because he kicks all the ass doesn’t change that about him.

Cloud isn’t a talker. Everyone knows this about him. It’s a canon fact. So, not being a talker, being reserved, quiet, introverted, unable to speak up for his own sake when he wants something that together showcases someone who isn’t good at standing up for himself. He tries. He tried so hard to refuse Aerith, but he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He either got lost trying to get home or he put up with the pushy girl who keeps making him do shit he doesn’t want to. He sighs and pulls faces and doesn’t look happy. He wants to go home. He still said no several times to her whenever she tried to waylay him further. She didn’t care about what he wanted. That doesn’t make her assertive. It makes her the asshole because she has no respect for him.

People think that because he called Jessie desperate that it meant he wanted to stay with Aerith. That he’s capable of speaking up for himself. Nope With Jessie, he’d had a long ass day of work and longer ass night, been excluded by both Barret and the Avalanche trio, made to break into Jessie’s house (which doesn’t sit well with Cloud’s actual moral compass), then did a bunch more difficult shit fighting off Shinra and then literally jumped off the plate. Okay?! Cloud had a long ass day and it was like 4am by that point and he was tired. Anybody tries to say after that much work they’d be nice Imma call them a goddamn liar.

Aerith refused to tell Cloud the way home, absolutely prevented him from leaving, made him do a bunch of work for shitty or no pay, belittled and insulted him, then barricaded the hallway so he couldn’t escape and stalked him to the exit when he escaped. He literally pulls a yessh face after reluctantly agreeing to let her show him how to get home. And then when they get there she withholds vital information for how he can actually get into the sector (or did people not notice him saying the giant gate was shut too?) until she gets what she wants out of him. And he sighs. Again. He has no say in anything because Aerith doesn’t listen to anyone but herself. The only reason he starts being nice to her is she tries to get info about Zack out of him and Cloud’s a nice guy who feels sorry for her. He knows he’ll never see her after this (or did people also misinterpret that reaction to Elmyra? Probably, since the only person he’d want to make a normal life with is Tifa, so being told he can’t is gonna get a reaction duh), so why be a dick to a girl who’s obviously upset about her boyfriend? Literally the second he saw Tifa -- barely even saw her because he knew that was her from the back of her head, her shoulder and hands -- he ran to her. He forgot Aerith even existed. But, sure, please do focus on the fact that he respected Tifa enough to do as she asked after an entire goddamn day of being disrespected by someone else. He’s not gonna treat Tifa the way he was just treated by Aerith. He actually cares about her.

And what did they think the message in Stand Up was? It’s not about dancing ffs. Andrea’s telling Cloud not to be afraid to be himself. That means speaking up for himself too, not about being real Cloud, which is a message he wouldn’t even understand at that point because he’s soldier Cloud and not aware of real Cloud. Andrea figured out Cloud right away. He saw a boy who’d do anything for the woman he loved, even let himself get pressured into something he’d be embarrassed by. That’s what stand up means in relation to Cloud.

Tifa never forced Cloud to do anything. She asked him to go with her to collect filter money, then immediately backtracked when she realised she’d have to pay him for that too. Cloud agreed and smiled at her. She also let him keep all of the money they got, which in the end gave him a grand total of 2150 gil, not the 2000 he was promised, so they overpaid him to make up for the delay.

She also asked him after the first quest “what do you want to do now?” and he said “Dunno,” so she made a suggestion. There’s no force behind that. He could refuse and go take a nap or something. She spent the day getting him work and helping him with that work, so much so that he was fully prepared to split the fee with her. Unlike with Aerith.

I could go on and on about this because I’ve gone over that chapter so many times. I don’t just replay odd chapters to get stuff, I replay the entire game, so I get to see the development of everything as it unfolds and see those connections between things that I overlooked before because I was too busy looking at something else. People think because they spend umpteen hours in sector 5 that Cloud did too. Nope. Cloud was there for around 11 hours before he left.

It was morning when he woke and since in December the sun would rise around 8am, that’s the earlier possible time that it could’ve been. In fact it could’ve been later. Cloud and Aerith spend several hours getting back to the sector so that it’s close to dinner time when they arrive. She then makes him do odd jobs for a few hours and then they eat and Cloud has a nap -- because he literally has a dream. You know, that thing people keep clinging to. He can’t dream if he’s not asleep. When he wakes up it’s dark and since it’s past dinner time, it’s around 6-7pm when he escapes and makes for the sector 6 exit. And that’s chapter 8.

Chapter 9 takes around 4 hours for them to complete. They spend a couple of hours fighting in the coliseum, then Cloud messes around while Aerith’s getting ready, which from Madam M seems to take around an hour. That leaves the rest of the time for the honey bee inn show, getting Cloud changed, walking to Corneo’s and the bit in the dungeon. Then they get dropped in the sewers.

Do you see how little time Cloud actually spent with Aerith? He’s known her for like 15 hours total before he reunites with Tifa. And people think he fell in love with her? Ew. Even Disney knew better than to try that.

#ship war #for common sense #long post #for the cinnamon roll

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mustafa-el-fats · 3 years

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Ancient Wisdom Revealed: 5 Hidden Magical Knowledge That Can Transform Your Life

We are usually amazed when we discover hidden knowledge related to mysticism, magic, and witchcraft. Not only does this ancient knowledge enlighten us but it can also help us understand the very essence of our being. However, most of the times valuable magical information and insight are hidden right before our very eyes. We simply need to know where to look.

“Secrets have a way of making themselves felt, even before you know there’s a secret.” – Jean Ferris

It’s true that this is World which has never actually cut off from the Old Ways. In fact, so many things we still do, reflect on the Old Religion and our Witchy Ways. Therefore, we decided to publish an article, on all weird things that actually got Pagan Origin or even Witchy! This is going to be really really fun!

Magical Knowledge Hidden in Plain Sight

“It is hidden but always present.” – Laozi

The list is endless. We could keep going on and on about it but we chose 5 facts which make more sense to almost anyone.

1. Why do we Wink to signal about secret knowledge?

A Winker actually signals the Winkee that they share or s/he is about to share some secret knowledge. It’s not obvious why or what it is, but this is a sign to immediately question reality. This is an awakening call. If you really think about it, it’s already pretty weird.

Wink & the one eye of Odin

Odin is the mighty and wise father of Norse Religion. God of Wisdom, Healing and Victory he is beloved in all germanic traditions. He is famous for his thirst for Wisdom and magical knowledge. According to one story, Odin was traveling again in his quest to expand his awareness. One day he ventured to Mimir’s Well, located beneath the world tree Yggdrasil. The Guardian spirit of this well, whose wisdom and magical knowledge for the Realms was unprecedented, greeted Odin. Odin asked for some water.

I know where Othin’s eye is hidden, Deep in the wide-famed well of Mimir; Mead from the pledge of Othin each morn Does Mimir drink: would you know yet more?

The mystical creature knew exactly what Odin was asking and he tried to make it as hard as possible. Thus he demanded his eye. Odin was asking for true and absolute wisdom and the price seemed fair for the Guardian. However, Odin gave it instantly and the Guardian gave the God of Wisdom what he was asking.

Hidden Magical Knowledge of Wink

In many ancient depictions, and due to the fact that Odin has one eye, he seems like he’s winking. This is where the ‘wink’ came from. As Odin lost his eye for hidden truth, we reenact his divine sacrifice by winking, to signal someone for secret knowledge.

“The only secrets are the secrets that keep themselves.” – George Bernard Shaw

2. Why do we give the ‘middle finger’ to insult someone?

Greeks understood the power of sex & sexuality, thus sexuality was part of each God’s powers. Thus, the ‘Phallus’ aka the erect penis, was a symbol of great potential, a power which could fight every demon, reverse bad luck to golden opportunities and create a new and successful beginning in everyone’s life.

Middle finger represents a phallus – a magical symbol

Indeed, the middle finger represents an erect penis. The middle finger also is known as “digitus impudicus” or “the impudent finger”. Saint Isidore of Seville explains in his Etymologies that the third finger is called impudent because it often expresses vexation, insult. But why?

“A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.” – Louis Nizer

This rude gesture actually dates back to ancient Greece. This was a sacred and magical gesture – something like a Mudra. Greeks used it to instantly counter any negative activity and dark arts that targeted them. Just like the statues of Phallus in crossroads and anywhere, they did it to repel dark magic.

Therefore, by ‘giving the middle finger and insulting’ the receiver we actually attempt to bind his/her power against us.

3. Why are Days Seven?

Have you wondered? Why aren’t the days of week 5 or 10 or 12? Why 7? Is there special power in it? Well YES!

Seven are the Days, Seven are the ‘Planets’ of ancient Witches

In the ancient World, astrologers and mages worked with the energy of the ‘7 Planets’. These 7 celestial bodies – which are not all planets – embody the diverse magical forces and energies from which everything is born into creation. Each ‘planet’ has a distinct vibration that can be directed and channeled in every magical work.

Each of the seven Days of the Week represents each of the ‘Planet’ of Astrologers and Witches which of course correspond to one God.

Monday is the Moon’s Day, day of Artemis / Diana – Goddess of the Moon

Tuesday is Tyr’s / Ares / Mars’s Day – God of War

Wednesday is Woden’s / Hermes’s / Mercury’s Day – God of Communication and Knowledge

Thursday is Thor’s / Zeus’s / Jupiter’s Day – all God of Lightning although Zeus is also King of Gods

Friday is Freya’s / Aphrodite’s / Venus’s Day – Goddess of Beauty and Love

Saturday is Saturn’s / Krono’s Day – old God of Time

Sunday is Sun’s / Apollo’s Day – God of the Sun

4. Why do we make Tattoos?

A tattoo is an ancient form of art appearing in different ancient cultures throughout history. Our modern word ‘tattoo’ comes from the Tahitian word tatau which means “to mark something”. Does this remind you of something? Maybe the Witch Marks?

“Tattoos are like stories — they’re symbolic of the important moments in your life.” – Pamela Anderson

Tattoos are in fact Witch Marks

Tattoos are similar to the Marks of the Witches. It’s a sacrifice we make to our bodies in order to connect deeper with what the symbol we chose represents. An eternal mark on our mortal bodies which can also pass through our incarnations. So please, before you decide which tattoo to do on your body, choose wisely the meaning and symbolism!

5. Why do we wear our wedding ring on our ‘ring finger’?

Haven’t you always wondered? Why do we choose to put our Wedding Rings on the ‘Ring Finger’? Well, as you can understand, the name of the finger itself actually implies its participation in Wedding Rituals.

Why a Golden Ring on Ring Finger?

This part of Wedding Rituals actually dates back in ancient years. First of all, the Ring symbolizes the Wholeness and Unity. It’s the perfect shape of Alchemists and it’s linked with Ouroboros – the symbol of eternity.

Now, why on Ring Finger? This finger is associated with the Sun and Apollo, the god of all blessings. When we ‘activate’ this finger we actually activate the power of the Sun and Apollo in us. As every ‘Planet’ is associated with one Metal, the Sun and Apollo are associated with Gold. Thus, to properly activate the Ring Finger we need to wear a Golden Ring on it. Check more on how to wear Rings to pursue your purposes here!

Therefore, in Wedding Rings, we conjure the blessings of Apollo and the Sun, the bring timeless happiness.

“Secrets are made to be found out with time.” – Charles Sanford

Esoteric wisdom can help you transform your life and the lives of your loved ones. Once you know how to access and decode such ancient knowledge, you can get a better understanding of different religions, practices and spiritual self. Now that you have gained some valuable insight, use this hidden ancient magical wisdom to build a happier and more purposeful life.

Post originally published on Magical Recipes Online

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5 Hidden Magical Knowledge That Can Transform Your Life

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Magical Recipes Online consists of a core team of 4 people who have dedicated their lives to bring Magic to a wider audience, to teach and to be taught, to help everyone in our World tap to the Great Source of All Things and bring happiness and love into their lives. We are everyday ordinary people who have lead extraordinary lives. We have heard our call to Magic from a young age but followed different directions.

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How to Decode Emotions In Text Messages: 6 Effective Ways To Get Started

“How do you decode emotions in text messages?”

Text messages can often be very confusing. It can be especially challenging to understand emotions when we communicate through text messages. With the lack of facial expressions and body language, we can often misinterpret the intended message and tone resulting in disastrous misunderstandings. So how can we read emotions in texts? Let’s find out.

“What is a moderate interpretation of the text? Halfway between what it really means and what you’d like it to mean?” – Antonin Scalia

It’s easy when people say they are angry or sad or excited, or if they tack an emoji to the end of a text. But when they don’t? Given that even face-to-face communication can be confusing, it should not surprise us that truncated, dashed-off text messages can result in disastrous misunderstandings.

In the age of technology, we not only need to decode in-person interactions, but we also need to decode textual transmissions.

How do we know what a person is feeling when we can’t see their faces or body language?

Here are six tips to help you better decode emotions in text messages, or at least prevent yourself from jumping to conclusions based on scant evidence.

1. Assume good intentions

In general, text messages are short. We have very little information to work with. A smiley face or series of exclamation points can help assure us that the text is meant to express positive emotion, but texts do not always include these extra emotion indicators. Our friends’ busy schedules lead to abrupt messages, and our partner’s playful sarcasm isn’t always read as playful.

Keep in mind that texts are a difficult medium for communicating emotion. We have no facial expressions or tone of voice, or conversation to give us more information. If the text doesn’t say, “I’m angry,” then don’t assume that the texter is angry. We are better off reading texts with the assumption that the texter has good intentions. Otherwise, we may end up in lots of unnecessary arguments.

“Texting is a fundamentally sneaky form of communication, which we should despise, but it is such a boon we don’t care. We are all sneaks now.” – Lynne Truss

2. Cultivate awareness of unconscious biases

In my research, I have had to train numerous teams of emotion coders. But even trained coders who meet weekly to discuss discrepancies don’t agree on which emotion (or how much emotion) is being expressed. People just do not see emotions in the same way. We have unconscious biases that lead us to draw different conclusions based on the same information.

For example, every time I lead a coding team I am reminded that males and females often differ in how they interpret others’ emotions. If Bob writes: “My wife missed our 10-year anniversary,” men may think Bob is angry, while women may think Bob is sad.

I don’t presume to know exactly why this is, but I can say confidently that our emotion-detection skills are affected by characteristics about us. When it comes to detecting emotion in texts, try to remember that our unconscious biases affect our interpretations. The emotions we detect may be reflective of things about us just as much as they are reflective of the information in the text.

3. Explore the emotional undertones of the words themselves

The words people use often have emotional undertones. Think about some common words—words like love, hate, wonderful, hard, work, explore, or kitten.

If a text reads, “I love this wonderful kitten,” we can easily conclude that it is expressing positive emotions. If a text reads, “I hate this hard work,” that seems pretty negative. But, if a text reads, “This wonderful kitten is hard work,” what emotion do we think is being expressed?

One approach to detecting emotions when they appear to be mixed is to use the “bag-of-words” method. This just means that we look at each word separately. How positive are the words “kitten” and “wonderful”? And how negative are the words “hard” and “work”? By looking at how positive and negative each word is, we may be able to figure out the predominant emotion the texter is trying to express. Give this bag-of-words method a try when you are having a hard time figuring out the emotion in a text.

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Dr. Tchiki Davis

Tchiki Davis, Ph.D., is a consultant, writer, and expert on well-being technology. She has helped build happiness products, programs, and services that have reached more than a million people worldwide. To learn more about how Tchiki can help you grow your happiness & well-being, visit berkeleywellbeing.com

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sepublic · 5 years

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Regarding Hazbin Hotel’s themes of Redemption

Okay, this may be a controversial suggestion, but you know one thing I’d REALLY like to see Hazbin Hotel do? I’d like to see it take the whole idea and message of ‘Even the worst of the worst deserve a chance to change themselves, and that anyone is capable of becoming a better person’ and actually… go through withand explore it.

Like, I don’t want all of the characters who get redeemed to very obvious, blatant choices where you can immediately tell, “Oh they’re actually a good person deep down inside!” Because when it comes to the idea of redemption, Hazbin Hotel’s core theme, that’s neither interesting, nor THAT much of redemption. The inherent goodness is already clearly there and a part of them, and if left to their devices, such characters, like Angel Dust for example, would definitely be good people.

The thing is- This is HELL. This is where the worst of the worst come, this is rock bottom after you’ve taken an excavator and dug down a few miles. It’s easy to look at a Demon who clearly has good tendencies otherwise and was mostly bad by circumstance, and say, “Let’s redeem that person! It will be SO revolutionary to see that person redeemed, even though they’ve already been clearly set aside from the rest as naturally good!” I want to see the show try to redeem ACTUAL bad, terrible people.

Which, gets into the controversial part- I want to see the kind of people who choose to be terrible, who choose to be cruel and kill, end up getting redeemed. Because the thing about redemption is, you don’t naturally deserve it- That’s antithetical to redemption. It’s not some gift just prescribed to a person beforehand, it’s something that’s earned, painfully, through trial and error. Because like Charlie said, EVERYONE deserves a second chance to be better, and even if that person was a bigoted abuser… If they decided they want to change, then they should be given the chance to do so.

Now, I’m not saying EVERY character should just be redeemed. I’m not saying every horrible demon should have good values and a change of heart handed to them on a silver platter, nor do I want any of them to be forcedinto changing, so to speak. I’d rather not see Charlie kidnap random Demons off the street and forcibly torture them into changing their habits (Now, Lucifer’s order having to imprison a Demon to keep them from doing further harmful actions, THAT’s fine and acceptable, as is self-defense). But what I’d like to see is a nuancedtake on the idea of redemption, that actually explores this idea instead of carefully poking the surface with the tip of the toe and then saying, “Well I’ve done all I can do!”

Because when a demon chooses to redeem themselves… It’s not going to be pretty. It’s going to be uncomfortable, arduous, difficult, and excruciating. And yet, if one is so fixated on justice, perhaps this is the best course of action? It’s easyto just be awful and never change yourself, that’s why Sloth is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. But actually stepping back and evaluating yourself, confronting yourself, living with the results of your mistakes and their implications, forced to feel consequences instead of just dying to escape it all? THAT’s real justice. It’s painful for the demon, but also the BEST possible option for them too.

By the end of the day, isn’t it in everyone’s best interests for everyone and anyone to become better? To lessen the amount of pain in this world? And it’s not like punishment can’t keep existing, either- It’s not a black and white choice between getting off scott-free, and dying permanently with no option of ever becoming better. A character can still be punished for their actions, while still working to change.

And, yes- Some people won’t change, and maybe they never will. But the thing is, this isn’t regular, real life in the living world, where people have limited lives and resources and better things to do. This is Hell, this is rock bottom, THIS, of all places, is the place and time to start working on rehabilitating the worst, because what else will you do? What else would be the purpose of Hell, besides endless, meaningless pain? Infinite punishment should not apply to finite crimes.

Likewise, even if some people will never change… It should always be made availableto them, the option to change- Just in case. The chance should always be ready, 24/7, eternally. And I know this may sound incongruous with what I said earlier, about how I want to see a character get permanently killed off by an Exterminator weapon… But really, such an event, I feel, would further highlight how important it is that rehabilitation and redemption be made readily, conveniently available at all times! Because life in Hell IS unpredictable, and it CAN be finite, and a permanent death would be a good way to really hammer in WHY Charlie is so insistent on giving these demons a chance to escape their fate. There’s an urgency to the Hazbin Hotel, because if people don’t start investing in it and making it available as soon as possible, people who could have changed will die and lose that chance they might have taken.

Now, I’m not saying every terrible demon, if any of them, should be forgiven- Absolutely not, and especially not by those they’ve hurt. There’s no obligation to forgive them, so even if it is an option that’s taken within the show, I’d still prefer if it was made clear that this was a choice by the victim, not by the abuser. Because a person who’s hurt others doesn’t automatically deserve forgiveness for making an effort- If anything, forgiveness is impossible. But just because you won’t be forgivenfor something, doesn’t mean you can’t change your behavior from then on- Because the crime being unforgivable is precisely WHY one would change their behavior! Because that behavior never was okay to begin with! If some terrible demons are redeemed, and it should be made clear that the bad things they did will neverbe forgiven, and that’s okay.

And of course, the Hazbin Hotel should be allowed to employ self-defense. It should still be allowed to fight back against those who may seek its destruction, because self-defense is okay, and if it hurts the attacker, then I don’t want the narrative to blame the victim for defending themselves. If a victim remains eternally hateful towards their abuser, then even if that abuser changes, even if that victim is also redeemed too… I still want that victim’s hate to be valid and accepted. Because earning redemption isn’t about making people like and forgive you, it’s about changing yourself. Those people don’t owe you anything, but YOU owe yourself a lot, and owe them a lot as well.

Again, some people will never change- But then again, never say never. Yes, redemption is a choice, and that part should also be emphasized… But redemption should also be made possible and available. The worst of the worst should know that it’s possible to try for it, while still being held accountable for the time they took to do so. Likewise, I’d really like to see the Hazbin Hotel’s teachings spread a lifestyle of being kind to one another, because when people are kind to one another, offer comfort and support, and so forth, you’d be surprised at how much a stubborn mind will yield away to that.

Of course, I don’t want said support and love to be forcedonto a demon, and have their personal autonomy violated. Sometimes you have to respect that they want to be left alone. Likewise, just giving someone a bunch of love and support won’t automatically change their mind, and I’d like for the show to remind the audience this… But at the same time, it can soften circumstances and make it morelikely for a demon to consider redemption, depending on the demon and their flaws in question of course.

I just… think this is kind of take on redemption would be infinitely more unique and intriguing than previous, rather vanilla takes on it. What happens if the ugly, generic war criminal mook who’s happily killed innocents, suddenly realizes they want to change? Or they’re suddenly exposed to love and support, and they look at those kind of lifestyles and realize that’s just so much NICER than what they’ve been doing… What if someone truly understands and sees that others are PEOPLE, just like them?

The closest I’ve seen to this kind of take is Steven Universe, which is amazing, but also by itself. Likewise, I’m also afraid that if Hazbin Hotel DOES go in this direction, it’ll be accused of ‘forgiving abusers’ and being ‘sympathetic to genocide’. I’d rather not want another SU Critical situation, but at the same time, I suppose such a thing would be inevitable. I think I’d rather see Hazbin Hotel actually try to explore REAL redemption, not just “Oh this ‘bad’ person just needs to be told it’s okay to be good and then they’ll be good!’… I want effort and actual change. And I think witnessing that in action far outweighs the cons of some people misinterpreting the message in bad faith.

After all, Demons have literally all the time in the world, assuming they avoid extermination, to change. So let’s see what happens when, after an eternity, a demon realizes their existence has become dull and bleak?

#hazbin hotel

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cero-blast · 5 years

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Your post about Gin "messing with people's heads" makes me think, doesn't this also apply to Ulquiorra? He also psychologically tortured Inoue, don't you think it's hypocritical to say Gin's actions don't nullify the bad things he did, but say that UH is good/not toxic? I'm not trying to hate on you, I don't ship anything in Bleach, I just wanted to know why Gin is considered a bad inexcusable guy but Ulquiorra's relationship with Inoue is glorified?

This will get… really long. I’m genuinely sorry it’s this long.

I never said Ulqiorra did nothing wrong (though it’s fair to say I didn’t happen to specifically point it out), or that UH is a ship with many positive feelings associated to it. That would be… an interesting take. I hope you don’t think I think that. But I also need you to understand that I don’t base my taste in ships on what I desire/consider healthy in real life. They exist in the context of the canon — not interchangeable with reality considering the existence of superpowers, ghosts, semi-human creatures and time warping — and that’s where it ends for me. Applying the dynamics in my ships to any situation other than the precise one of Bleach’s canon would make them fundamentally different.

I’ve wanted to mention this about Ulquiorra for a while now and I’ll take the occasion to do so. It’s a mistake to put him in the same framework as a human or shinigami. (The latter two also have their differences but based on observation shinigami seem to behave in a much more human-like manner compared to hollows/arrancars.) He’s practically incapable of understanding what empathy is or find any good reason not to hurt other people, which is why it’s surprising when he manages to grasp even a shred of the concept right before dying. Hollows are born from experiencing such severe pain that it distorts their whole ‘essence’, so something has gone terribly wrong with them emotionally by definition, whether they evolve to arrancar form or not. Ulquiorra’s aspect of death, his ‘theme’, is emptiness — characterized by complete neutrality towards everything. Since a person with a healthy mindset tends to focus on danger and negative events, neutrality often comes across as immoral for being equally conceding towards moral right and moral wrong. The point is, Ulquiorra’s motivations for provoking Inoue had nothing to do with him taking joy in causing pain to her. In fact, it’s hinted he’s not even fully aware he’s doing it, like the scene where he tells Inoue he’d laugh at her friends’ foolishness in her place. He’s unaffected by most things AND has difficulty placing himself in others’ perspective, which results in him assuming everyone around him would be unaffected. The only thing that factored into him doing just about anything was curiosity, the need to fill the void, however you want to put it. If a human or shinigami behaved the same way he did around Inoue, it would come across in a vastly different way and I’m not sure it would even interest me as a ship. Ulquiorra is not only a hollow, but a hollow with a particular impediment in understanding how others feel, and this is an integral part of him as a character, of his interactions, of UH, of anything regarding him. I know it’s funny as a fandom meme to act as if he were human, but he’s NOT and this needs to be kept in mind.

This applies to any arrancar or espada, really. It’s tempting to judge them on the same basis as enemies who are closer to humanity, mainly because of their appearance and intellect. But this is the trick itself the narrative plays, a progression that has been present in Bleach since the start: it created a human/monster (shinigami/hollow here) dichotomy, then spent the longest arc deconstructing it by blurring the lines between the two. It doesn’t matter how smart and eloquent the espada manage to get, the only productive way of interpreting them is as people who are missing a very core part of their personality, so someone severely psychologically ill. (I say this as someone who has their own problems, before it gets misinterpreted as condescension.) Should this absolve them from punishment? Bleach says a very clear no. They almost all get killed by shinigami, in Ulquiorra’s case Ichigo specifically — Ichigo, who, by his own admission, empathized with everyone he fought and even gets angry at Yammy for speaking ill of Ulquiorra after his death. (I don’t want to start arguing about how he was in hollow state when he defeated him. He would have killed Ulquiorra either way if he continued to stand in the way of protecting his friends.)

In summary, the espada aren’t human. Ulquiorra isn’t human. It’s unrealistic to expect him to behave like a human. You’re free to pick who you want to have compassion for among Bleach’s positive and negative characters and if you decide Ulquiorra is irredeemable in your opinion, that’s fine — many characters would agree. But at the very least it can be objectively said that Bleach spends a lot of time presenting ‘evil’ characters’ perspectives as nuanced and explicable instead of writing them off. It gives the audience a choice in the matter. A core message of the entire story is that we’re subjective and maybe we’ll never manage to see the world the same way as someone else, but that’s fine and it doesn’t make us all that different; hollows can become *almost* shinigami, shinigami can become *almost* hollows, and they both have ways to relate to one another while retaining the insurmountable differences and even fighting and killing each other.

Now, onto Gin. First off, you seem to be under the impression that I don’t like him as a character. That couldn’t be further from the truth; I only said it in the tags because I figured saying it in the post would have sounded like making excuses, which is not what the post was about. I don’t know if I would call him a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ person. All I know is that I really enjoyed him as a character and I could see how he evoked sympathy — in the tragic way antagonists do when they get some sort of redemption. I noticed it’s a common tool in fiction to make an impact on the audience, I suppose because we’re happier when we see ‘bad people getting fixed’ rather than someone already good doing more good things. It’s a Prodigal Son type of thing; can be argued about but it definitely makes an impact.

Gin is a quintessential ‘mysterious type’; he has a long-running plan that he executes throughout almost his entire life without ever consulting with anyone (an important detail). He had a hypothesis on what would be the most effective way to kill Aizen and constructed a convoluted plan based on it — a plan where the ends would have justified the means in many, many situations, and that required causing problems to a lot of people. He had, however, no certainty that what he was doing would lead to the desired results (which it then didn’t…). A lot of his provocation was a means to create a certain image of himself and there’s a big question of where to draw the line there, whether all of that was absolutely necessary. Leaving to Hueco Mundo and technical demonstrations of loyalty were, sure, but mocking Rukia on her way to being executed? He considered keeping everything a secret a prerequisite for things to work out — presumably because if he talked to anyone, Aizen could have noticed — but was it, really? Many of his actions were based on his personal judgement on what would and wouldn’t have ruined the façade, subjective and hunch-based since he didn’t know the outcome for sure.

Gin isn’t inexcusable, but I noticed a lack of emphasis on the damage his actions caused among fans, both because of the chronological order of the story and his affiliation with the protagonists’ side. Because the last thing he did was a good thing, that’s what he’s remembered by, without taking into account the sum total of his interactions with others. He posited himself as vicious until the last moment and did so consciously. Ulquiorra had a very, very gradual progression in the way he talked to Inoue, which doesn’t make it less rude and traumatic, but there’s a difference between him showing up and telling her she ‘has no rights’ and later taking an active interest in her views on the Heart. It would be equally reductive to interpret him by his last moment and nothing else, but all he did before led to that moment progressively, while Gin’s was a very abrupt twist.

My post was a comment on psychology on the most basic, technical level, not a moral judgement. The two are separate in the way we process trauma and that’s exactly what I find interesting. Having strong negative emotions associated to a memory (what I think Kira, Hinamori, Hitsugaya or Rangiku could have had with Gin’s betrayal) creates a very subconscious reaction that can hardly be fixed by suddenly finding out it was necessary for a positive cause, which is why healing from trauma requires years of therapy. Because *in that moment* you didn’t have that knowledge, the pain remains in your memory and it’s not a matter of logical reasoning. Now, I’m not saying Ulquiorra’s interactions with Inoue were numerous or productive enough to properly process the trauma he caused her — the canon info is ambivalent on how comfortable Inoue was around him towards the end of her captivity because there’s both scenes like the famous slapping one *and* her seeming more light-hearted towards Ulquiorra in Unmasked, plus no one has any idea of which came before which. All things considered, I think repeated discussion and an attempt at mutual understanding does a better job at elaborating something traumatic than one single piece of information on why what traumatized you was justified. And note that the *only reason* the understanding between Ulquiorra and Inoue could have been mutual is because Inoue was exceptionally patient, empathetic and willing to face discomfort, way beyond the base level or what should be expected from anyone. Even if it was a *small amount* of *not very productive* discussion, it’s better than one act in my opinion (which most of the people who had some sort of issue with Gin didn’t even directly witness). Which of them is *morally worse* depends on how you draw the lines and define morality and that’s not something I feel qualified to decide.

So, in the end;Ulquiorra:-working towards enemy goals overtly-motivated by curiosity, which can be considered self-oriented-gradual improvement-not fully conscious of the emotional impact of his actions-Inoue considers him an ambivalent presence but “Isn’t afraid”, in her words-half-succeeded, as in: failed the goal of killing Ichigo but sated his curiosity

Gin:-working towards enemy goals on the surface and soul society goals covertly-motivated by attachment to Rangiku and/or revenge, less self-oriented but still focused on close acquaintances -long-running façade of being a terrible person followed by a sudden twist towards the good side-completely aware of everything he’s doing, plan laid out hundreds of years in advance-Gotei 13 don’t interact with Gin throughout HM arc, consider the traitors a lost cause-failed to kill Aizen

Instead of this encyclopedia I could have just written “Gin isn’t irredeemable, I just said he did bad things before”, but I thought too much about it. And I might go through spelling mistakes once I wake up.

#anon #ask #long post

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getallemeralds · 5 years

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So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

#leo chirps #leos reply #system shit #i dont think i covered EVERYTHING #and im not sure how coherent this is #but i tried! :D #Anonymous #ask #pat.txt

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shoheiakagi · 5 years

Note

For the "talk about Homra": what's Akagi's daily routine? What does he do in Homra, does he have a job or is he studying? Does he have a girlfriend? What does he think of his King? Share your headcanons! :D

Ty so much for sending me this ask! I really enjoyed answering this question, and it actually made me think a lot more about this character. I’m sorry it took so long to reply, I had a really busy day + my phone was dying when I got your message (although I don’t like responding from my phone cause it causes a lot of grammar issues to the point of questioning my own English lol).

Also, this is mostly based on my opinions/interpretation, which I am aware that may not align with anyone else’s interpretation.

Keeping this under the cut cause it came out wayyyyyy too long. Also, there might be some grammar mistakes that I’m too lazy to search for cause typing this thing tired me out lmaoo, so sorry in advance. But don’t be shy to ask me more questions or to send your own headcanons! I love this shit.

Talk to me about HOMRA

Daily Routine:

Okay so this one is a little hard for me cause I barely go on a daily routine when I’m not going to class or work but even then I barely function well so I barely think about how others go on about their days.

He’s one of the few early risers in HOMRA, even on his days off, due to insomnia.

Which causes him to be super grumpy during the morning and even at work (but it’s a good thing he knows how to pull himself together, otherwise he’d be giving Bandou a run for his money when it comes to getting fired).

He drinks a lot of coffee (there’s a Starpucks right near his job, after all) which is great cause it gives him energy, but it’s also bad cause it gives him too much energy

Like seriously, he’s probably one of those super annoying cheery guys you lowkey wanna smack sometimes but don’t cause self control and cause he’s cute af

He actually doesn’t go to HOMRA every single day like the other members. Some days he’s too tired from work, other days he just wants to chill with his other friends.

But he’s always the first one there whenever something urgent comes up.

He tries to go to the gym at least three times a week, to make sure he stays fit.

In general though, he enjoys working out and staying active.

He honestly hates staying in his apartment for a long time though. Not only does he feel lonely, but lately he’s been thinking too much (”We’re all doomed”- Bandou). Memories of Totsuka & Mikoto, how HOMRA disbanded once, the possibilities of HOMRA not being in his future, etc.

He’s not exactly sure if he wants to enroll in university, cause fuck school, but he also can’t rely on working part time at a local diner for the rest of his life

Which leads him to enroll in an online class for coding since he’s one of the few people who prefers numbers over literature

Whenever he has the time, he loves adventuring out in Shizume city, checking out new places (but lets be real, this boys been everywhere) and making new friends.

Loves to sit on roof tops; it makes him feel like he’s at top of the world. It’s the little things that makes life worth living.

HOMRA:

He’s one of the moodmakers of HOMRA (mostly amongst the abc boys + yata/kamamoto. He’s way too intimidated by Mikoto).

I headcanon him as being the strongest amongst the abc boys. Akagi may be behind Dewa in terms of perception, but he is physically stronger. So that combined with his own strong perception skills, makes him a really good fighter, much to the envy of Bandou & Chitose.

Despite being a laidback and cheerful guy, he loves fighting. Whenever there is some illegal gang to bust, he’s one of the first ones out the bar, itching to smash some guy’s head with his bat or burning them all.

He’s obviously closer to the other alphabet boys than he is with the core members of homra (trio + anna/yata/kamamoto), which leads them to forming their own group within the clan. Whereas the main members are in the bar most of the time, the alphabet boys are usually out partying or dicking around somewhere.

Job/Studies:

Based on the movie and some official content, it’s safe to say that he works part time at a local diner, which he later gets Bandou to join.

Despite him being grumpy in the morning, he’s always friendly to the customers he’s serving, which makes him super popular, especially amongst the female customers.

At first, he was oblivious to it, but that didn’t last to long cause he is pretty perceptive. Eventually he uses his charms to his advantage, cause the more customers, the more tips.

He’s always caught in the middle of arguments between Bandou and his boss (and sometimes other coworkers) which he often has to beg his boss not to fire Bandou cause yeah the guy’s petty, but he’s really good at frying those potatoes (no lie, San Chan is really passionate about how he cooks his fries).

But sometimes it leads to his own job being on the line since he’s the one who convinced his boss to hire Bandou (goddammit san chan). It’s a good thing he’s popular amongst the ladies.

As i mentioned before, he enrolls in an online coding class, since he’s still on the fence about going to an actual university, but he doesn’t wanna spend his life flipping burgers.

I actually got the coding idea from another blog, but it really makes sense since he was good with hacking in s1.

Back in school, he was an average student. He did the bare requirements, always studied last minute, and would zone out in class. But he’s always found himself doing better in math. To him, math was simple. You just gotta work through the problem to find the correct answer, which is kinda how life works. He likes that there is only answer to a question, not multiple interpretations. This pretty much reflects on Shouhei himself. Despite being an optimistic guy, he tends to the see the world in shades of black & white.

Relationship (*slightly nsfw):

Honestly, I can see him in a relationship, but it’s usually set during the MOR timeline (before Totsuka’s death), months after the events of ROK, or in a completely alternative universe where no one dies. I can only imagine how his s/o would feel when they find out about him & the rest of HOMRA terrorizing a high school in order to seek vengeance.

He’s not a womanizer like Chitose, nor is he desperate for a woman to look at him like Bandou, but he’s had his share of relationships & hookups.

I genuinely think that he’s one of the more experienced members in HOMRA after Kusanagi & Chitose, but he’s more discreet about it. Also, he’s just not the type to flirt with every single woman he sees.

Actually super romantic and takes relationships seriously, but occasionally indulges in random hookups and one night stands.

Has been in a friends with benefits relationship, but it did not end well since he ended up catching unrequited feelings.

Has actually flirted with a couple of his customers who interested him, and gave them his number.

Very into PDA (handholding, kisses, arm around the waist, hugs, etc).

*As mentioned by other blogs, he’s adventurous when it comes to sex, but he has a soft spot for vanilla cause it seems romantic. Loves foreplay, and he usually prefers giving oral than receiving cause he loves to please his s/o (and cause he has an oral fixation).

*Lowkey fantasizes about public sex, but knows how control himself.

He wants a relationship in where they’re best friends, and have a lot of fun together, even if they’re doing boring shit like watching Netflix & eating takeout on a Saturday night (it’s the company that matters).

He’s a super friendly guy, which can sometimes annoy his s/o cause some people misinterpret his kindness as romantic interest.

I could see him being weak for sweet & petite girls with long brown hair (this may seem like self inserting but I can only wish I was petite).

As for guys, I’m not exactly sure on what his exact type would be since I ship him with a few characters who are completely different from each other, physically and mentally (Eric, Chitose, Bandou, etc).

But in general though, he’s weak for anyone who looks good in red, his favorite color.

When he likes someone, he makes sure that he can do whatever it takes to win them over. Can be a bit persistent at times since he’s stubborn af, but stays within his boundaries and backs off if he notices that the other party is uncomfortable or genuinely not interested.

He can be a bit oblivious when it comes to others crushing on him, but it doesn’t take that long for him to figure it out.

He likes to think that he’s not a jealous person, but when he sees a sweet smile growing on his SO/crush’s face cause of someone else, his jaw noticeably clenches.

Super happy if his s/o gets along with his clansmen, but he gets a little tense when they’re near Chitose cause sometimes he can be a bit too flirty, but he trusts his S/O and Chitose.

Loves to tease his S/O, which can sometimes lead him to be a little fuck boyish.

His relationship with his Kings:

1. Mikoto:

Like the others, he respects Mikoto a lot. But unlike the others, he can’t help but feel a bit uneasy whenever Mikoto’s sharp, amber eyes rest on him.

Which can sometimes make him feel upset, like how can I be a HOMRA member if I can’t even look at my King without feeling nervous?

Sometimes though, he thinks back to the night when HOMRA had to save him & Bandou from getting killed due to his reckless ass.

He can’t help but remember how Kusanagi briefly compared Mikoto to him, which didn’t mean anything back then cause he was ready to pass out from all that blood loss.

But it kinda makes him feel better to know that at least there’s one thing he has in common with his king: that they both can easily get corrupted by their power in the name of good. He likes to think of it as a special bond that connects them but he’s pretty sure there are other members who relate to the sentiment.

Somedays, he can’t help but notice how Mikoto is just there. Like yeah, he is a very powerful presence, but it doesn’t really seem like he’s there with them. He just doesn’t seem to care about what goes on, which doesn’t really fit the image of a king at all, at least from what he knows. Shit, if he was a King, God knows the havoc he would create.

Sometimes he wants to talk to his King and get to know him better, maybe even cheer him up. But he immediately rejects the idea and goes back to his own little group with the other alphabet boys.

He is just a clansmen, after all.

2. Anna:

Despite initially thinking that she was a weird brat, he genuinely came to love and care for her as the little sister he never had.

He takes her out for shopping w/e Kusanagi & Totsuka are unavailable.

Loves to bring her toys & candies whenever he can.

They both share a mutual appreciation for the color red, a bit more than the other members.

When Anna first became King, he wasn’t really sure on how to feel.

Like great, HOMRA is back together, but can she really be our King?

He, along with a few others, genuinely believes that they should be protecting Anna, not the other way around.

Especially with her tragic past, she needs to protected. Being a King will only cause more danger.

Also, despite all his denials, his ego is a little hurt that the leader of a street gang is a 12 year old girl.

But him & the rest of HOMRA eventually come to understand that Anna is capable of taking care of herself, she is their King for a reason.

#akagi shouhei #akagi shohei #mine #text #ask #anon #but really thank you for sending me this ask #i love shouhei so much so im glad i was able to expand on some stuff #fun fact: this is exactly 1881 word lolllll #i wish i could write this fast for essays

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thesinglesjukebox · 5 years

Video

youtube

TAYLOR SWIFT FT. BRENDON URIE - ME!

[3.53]

Things have changed for "ME!"...

Alex Clifton: A lead single should not make me think, "Oh, is this the Kidz Bop version?" [3]

Abdullah Siddiqui: This isn't the Old Taylor or the New Taylor. It's some entity so devoid of anything remotely substantive it doesn't warrant a human name. And I'm not very familiar with this Brendon Urie, but his delivery of the line "and you can't spell awesome without 'me'" sounds like the sonic embodiment of a Disney XD mid-season replacement choking on its own blue-cotton-candy puerilism. And I know that makes literally no sense but it's honestly the best way I know how to describe it. [2]

Taylor Alatorre: On the one hand, this was designed to subvert as few expectations and step on as few toes as a late 2010s Taylor Swift lead single can. On the other hand, it commits so hard to the bit that it ends up becoming a Lonely Island parody of the kind of post-Glee positivity pop that fueled the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign. Our culture may be more jaundiced since then, but the market for that stuff hasn't gone away, and Swift and Urie deliver the message in a way that feels more true to how people actually consume those songs. Rather than offering the prize of social recognition as a package deal with some nebulous invocation of societal change, they make a beeline for the inner voice of narcissism that resides within the overworked neoliberal subject. They listen to that voice, they give it what it wants, and the result is a communal celebration of self-regard that, in all its candidness and mutual puffery, makes you feel connected to something larger than just another grueling megastar album cycle. Unfortunately, that "something larger" happens to be the same collective unconscious that apparently just wants Panic to be the "High Hopes" band now. [7]

Jessica Doyle: It's catchy, granted, but so insistently, aggressively vapid that I am resisting the obvious conclusion that Taylor Swift actually thinks that this is work to be proud of. It makes more sense as a reconciliation of three opposing forces: she wants to make music; she feels responsible for the multi-hundred-dollar machine she's spent half her life putting in motion; and she dislikes and resents the performer (maybe also the person) she's become. That would explain pairing a catchy song with lyrics such as "can't spell awesome without ME!" and a video whose final shots suggest she is actually made of toxic rainbow sludge. [3]

Katherine St Asaph: A garish mess in exactly the same way "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" was. Yelpy vocals, forced whimsy, obnoxious spoken word, slapdash everything -- well, almost everything. The chorus is the second song in a year to rip off Emeli Sandé's "Next to Me," which really wasn't in need of two ripoffs. The old Taylor can't come to the phone right now, because she's been replaced with the New Boring. Brendon Urie is the best thing about this, though I'd rather listen to three minutes of him singing Vines. [3]

Tobi Tella: Can something be inoffensive enough that it becomes offensive? It's hard to imagine a song this generically pleasant and basic angering people off the heels of some of the Reputation singles, but here we are. It's disappointing to see Taylor put out yet another vapid lead single devoid of any deep themes, but goddamn if this didn't grow on me almost immediately. It's just so much dumb fun, and even though these two people are capable of much more and I'll probably forget about it in a few months I will definitely scream it every time it comes on the radio for now. [6]

Will Adams: The singular badness of Taylor's past three lead singles can all be boiled down to their overblown-ness, whether in song, in video, or in their inevitable absorption into The Discourse. But "ME!" is a special kind of bad, one whose wrongness comes from all directions to create something truly confusing. There's the sonic rehashing of a single from two albums back (also those terrible horns), inert lyrics that offer nothing recognizably Swift, the aesthetic 180 that makes Reputation feel even more pointless and, worst of all, the patronizing kids show affect. It's really hard to figure out what she was trying to do here. Without Max Martin's catchphrases, Shellback's sheen, or even Jack Antonoff's weirdness, we're left with an overblown Train song. Here's hoping, come the album, she keeps her promise that we'll never find another like "ME!". [1]

Jibril Yassin: Taylor Swift loves dispatching red herrings for her forthcoming albums in the form of lead singles. While she couldn't fully commit to the heel turn, Reputation went out of its way to show her songwriting capacities hadn't diminished, but it says a lot that I already want the Right Said Fred-aided Taylor back. "ME!" flows and surges with the pop efficiency she's mastered, but the lyricism resembles a once-sharp camera lens out of focus. Draping herself in the sounds she last used on Reputation, now drenched in major-key sunshine, also feels like a serious misstep when a theatre-kid diva like Brendon Urie decides to show up and completely steal the show. A song like "ME!" calls for high theatrics and powerful vocals and here, Taylor doesn't play to her strengths. [3]

Katie Gill: Taylor Swift was one of the first people to sign on for the movie-musical Cats. I'm not saying this just because that fact brings me joy and happiness every time I remember it, but because you don't agree to be in a show that features tap-dancing beetles, a magic show, and a character called Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat unless you have a healthy appreciation for cheesiness. And this song further proves that Taylor Swift is fully embracing the concept of cheese. Why else would she include lyrics like "hey kids! Spelling is fun!". But three things prevent this song from reaching its full, beautiful, glorious Gouda potential. One: the fact that the chorus seems designed from the ground up to play in a Target commercial. Two: the fact that the lyrics never get past the braggadocio, "I'm so awesome" hubris that tainted a lot of her Reputation-era work. Three: Brendon Urie's existence on the track. [6]

Ryo Miyauchi: Taylor's past fuck-yous to her former guys worked because she didn't leave room for them to speak in the song's narrative or actually in the music itself. Brendon Urie in "ME!" functions as wish fulfillment on top of wish fulfillment, singing the ideal response from the man to go with Taylor's perfect last words. His presence is extra fluff that the track can do without, but he's just one of many campy toppings that sugarcoats the stinging bitterness at the song's core to the point they wash away any taste when consumed. The cliche series of contrasts in the pre-chorus, the Sesame Street bridge, filler rhymes just to get to the next lyric -- all of this lyrical blandness doesn't help prop Taylor up as the underdog to cheer for in this breakup. [4]

Joshua Copperman: Every part of this song sounds like other songs that were successfully upbeat without being too cutesy. "ME!" isn't one of those. Like former contemporary Katy Perry with her "Swish Swish" video, Swift actively tries to be cringey but the attempts at cringe make her cringey. It's like Patrice Wilson's self-conscious follow-ups after "Friday" if he was given a Dave Meyers video budget. Taylor's own friend-by-her-right-ay Brendon Urie helps a little bit, because he's good at hamming it up, but while Taylor has pulled off hamminess in the past ("Blank Space" is one of her most-loved songs for a reason), this doesn't suit her. Even the lines about fighting in the rain feel like perfunctory good lyrics. The rest of the album will probably be fine, as even 1989 led with "Shake It Off." But even that song's bridge didn't have "spelling is fun." [3]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: For a second, right around "spelling is fun," I thought this would ascend, phoenix-like, into glorious schlock. But before and after that incredible interlude, "ME!" is not even the exciting kind of trash. It's content to just be mediocre, occasionally winking at the camera in ways that its authors clearly think is endearing but mostly come off as desperate. It's an emphatic shrug of a song, at once saying nothing and doing so loudly. [1]

Scott Mildenhall: Tonally aimless, it's very hard to deduce the spirit in which this is meant. In its most desperate moment -- yes, "spelling is fun!" -- it doesn't so much tip its hat to the audience as frisbee it into their face, but at the same time it's not so ironic as to be mean-spirited. As a whole, it's like a Wiggles mash-up of "Blank Space" and "We Go Together", and it's hard to know how anyone, whether their intentions were wholesome or cynical, would ever reach that by design. Perhaps this is simply just a spectacular misfire. The thematic mismatches, zero-dexterity crowbarring of aphorisms, desultory brass parps and gossamer-thin hook suggest seriously misplaced ambition. The one time "ME!" seems to be heading in its intended direction is its conclusion, at which it becomes an ever-ascending celebration. By then, though, it's already dug itself a deep hole to fly out of. [5]

Alfred Soto: The first time she's sounded manic and desperate, like someone pleading for her life; she could've titled it "You Must Love Me." [3]

Stephen Eisermann: Remember when everyone said "Look What You Made Me Do" was Taylor's worst lead single and it could never be worse? I do. And guess what? This is worse. [1]

Jonathan Bradley: "ME!" takes as its starting point the belated success of "Delicate," the late-cycle Reputation single that helped remind more than a few listeners and critics that they'd radically misinterpreted that album on its release. It makes sense that Taylor Swift would return to the source of that renewed goodwill, and this new single does sound designed as a rebirth of sorts: it is sunny and outward-looking after an insular and intimate record. It's also unashamedly and jubilantly corny. That should not surprise; Swift has never only been a dextrous chronicler of emotional contours, and corn has been a part of her songwriting toolbox going back at least to the time she wrote a gushing romance starring Romeo and Juliet that ended with a marriage and hefty key change. "ME!" is unabashed in its goofiness, pairing that dorkiness with the frivolity of "Shake It Off," her biggest hit to date. Panic! At the Disco's Brendon Urie fits in well with this theatricality, and Swift helps temper his archness; he's had "High Hopes," but never this much fun. And it's this sense of fun that makes "ME!" so enjoyable. This is a song that sees the strangenesses and imperfections of ourselves and the people around us, and greets them with optimism and -- Reputation hasn't entirely left us -- a bit of wanton selfishness. I've been to plenty of Taylor Swift shows and, as with "Shake It Off" or "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" or "This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things" -- I can already tell how much of a blast of a setlist-capper "ME!" will be. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: "Taylor finger, Taylor finger, where are you?" [1]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Taylor Swift #Brendon Urie #pop #music #music review #writing

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magicplanetanime · 5 years

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Let’s Watch HeartCatch Pretty Cure! Episode 6

I have had a VERY LONG and quite frustrating week, so as it rolls over into Saturday nothing gives me greater joy than being able to get back into the Precure groove. Let’s get started

Episode 6 Scoop! The Precures identities are revealed!?

Before we even get to the theme tune (what Nihon TV helpfully labels as the “Intro” segment of a Precure episode) we’re immediately reintroduced to an old character and introduced to a new one in a very short span of time. On the reintroduction front we have the androgynous school council president, who we learn here is also a martial artist.

Is there anything our boy can’t do?

More pertinently we’re introduced to Tada Kanae, a photographer and, as Erika puts it, “scoop-lover”, which is certainly....a turn of phrase.

After the OP, there’s a bit of in-class discussion about the Precures, the series’ first acknowledgement that yes, other people do remember that they exist. But mostly, we see what exactly Erika means by her oddly old-fashioned phrasing. Apparently the case is that this Tada girl likes to take pictures of people and....well, just kind of stick them up on a board for the world to see. I was sort of expecting the series to take a “school newspaper” angle here especially given the mention of Scoops (tm).

She also seems to enjoy taking pictures of people in embarrassing situations, which Erika (understandably) objects to.

This segues into Tada promising to get shots of the Precures, which Tsubomi hilariously responds to with a loud “EHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?”, proving that regardless of whether or not they’re fictional, middle schoolers cannot keep secrets. (If you’re wondering how she plays this off, it’s by claiming to be really excited about the pictures. Yeah.)

Our girls regroup, and soon spot Tada asking around about the Precures. To the photographer girl’s frustration, all she gets is people (more specifically: characters-of-the-week from some previous episodes) saying that they dreamed about them or that they’ve heard rumors, something that she can’t exactly snap photos of.

I must say, even in the episode’s first third it’s pretty obvious that the moral is going to be about Tada’s habit of taking pictures of people screwing up. Which, while certainly not a bad message in the social media era (and that was surely a consideration, this show isn’t that old mind you) just seems a little....thin? Compared to the near-universal themes of the past couple episodes.

Another thing I’m noticing is at least in this earlier part of the episode the animation is rather janky, there’s some oddly-composed shots and lots of popsicle stick walk cycles.

Neither of these things are dealbreakers by any means but one does get the impression that this is a bit of a lower-rung episode of this series.

Well, I say that, but Tada, following a lead, soon makes her way to the botanical gardens. The ones that Tsubomi’s grandma, the former Cure Flower and--shudder--Coupe are based in. She spots the fairies not long after entering and then....this happens.

Yeah, remember this guy? Cuz I kinda completely forgot about him myself. This is by my count his first appearance in four episodes, and he shows up here only to briefly distract Tada long enough for the fairies to escape. They dive in Coupe’s fur, and granny successfully feigns ignorance, which gets her to leave. Flower then openly speculates about the state of her heart flower, setting up the second half of the episode.

Cut back to the Desert Apostle lair and we have Sasorina vowing that she will succeed where her two comrades failed and yadda yadda you know the drill by now.

We then get a midcard, with this comment from Nihon.TV, which I think is a Final Fantasy reference if my memory (memery?) is serving me correctly this chilly spring morning.

Anyway, we cut back to Tsubomi, who notices Tada walking over to Erika’s place and briefly assumes that she’s found out that they’re Precures. The truth is both more mundane and a good deal more Kids Show, though not quite in a bad way.

You see, it turns out that Tada is actually going to Erika’s house to seek the advice of an expert photographer, a man internationally renowned for his work, a man with blue hair!

Also he’s Erika’s dad, and boy, over the course of this sequence do you REALLY get a sense of where Erika gets a lot of her own personality quirks from, because this guy is a lot.

No really like a lot a lot.

No Tendou Maya?

In any case he talks with Tada about photography and ends up kind of accidentally insulting her photographs while trying to impart what is at its core a reasonable lesson (that photos should make both the viewer and the subject happy), and she leaves rather unhappy. We get this weirdly deep observation from Tsubomi

Honestly who isn’t these days, kid?

Tsubomi and Erika resolve to go cheer her up, but, before they can....well, six episodes in you can probably take a reasonable guess as to what happens.

Well ok, then Sasorina turns her into a Desertrian. This one camera themed and honestly, for just basically being a bunch of square shapes, this thing looks pretty goddamn creepy. Also it petrifies people by taking pictures of them, which is also kinda creepy.

I have somehow not mentioned it yet, but I do wanna point out that the choice of font that Nihon.TV gave to the Desertrians is pretty cool. No idea what it is, but it conveys the rambly aggressive nature of the creatures quite well.

The fight scene here deserves a breakdown, since it’s easily the highest point of the episode. Pretty early on, Marine gets petrified.

Somewhat hilariously, the action then almost completely stops so the fairies can whip out a new toy. It’s not exactly graceful and it really could’ve been integrated into the flow here a bit better, but, on the other hand I do feel that complaining about product placement in Precure is like complaining about it in Transformers.

Yes, a heart seed, those things they’ve been collecting from the people they’ve helped. They use a red one here, which I am pointing out but I probably didn’t really need to.

I would have a bigger problem with this powerup were it not for the fact that Blossom just randomly gaining Flash levels of super-speed is pretty goddamn cool. Look! She even gets a new tint to her outfit! I think the only way to improve that would be if they’d actually fully redesigned her costume for the powerup, but at that point you’re probably in prohibitively time-consuming territory.

I also want to make a nod to Sasorina’s absolutely great facial expressions throughout this fight.

In any case this all leads up to what is maybe my favorite thing that’s happened in the show so far. Observe.

What could I possibly say about this to make it any funnier than it already is? Butt Punch. She used her butt, but it was a punch. Why did she do that? Who knows! Butt Punch. You use your butt, but it’s a punch. I can’t compete with that.

Anyway before long the whole flower crucifixion thing happens again and I am seriously never going to get over how weird this piece of imagery is.

And Sasorina buzzes off, and the fansubbers translate whatever she says upon leaving....liberally, we’ll say.

The episode more or less ends here. There’s a bit of an epilogue where Tada, after being awoken by Tsubomi on the hillside, concludes that her photos really *do* need “more love”. As a thank you to Tsubomi, Tada gives her some photos of the class president, who it is at this point evident that she’s crushing on.

The episode ends with her resolving to continue her hunt for precure pics, and Erika teasing Tsubomi about the pictures she got.

I have to be honest, I am a bit mixed on this one. Tada has the core of a good character but I don’t quite care about her yet as much as I do the rest of the main cast (since I have a hunch she’ll be returning, though I’m not 100% sure). There’s also this episode’s moral which is just kind of....weird, I guess I’d say?

It’s not like photo privacy and consent aren’t real issues in the modern age--they definitely are--but it’s sort of a strange thing for a kids’ show to try to tackle, as it’s a pretty complex issue. And the conclusion reached, that Tada’s photos just need to be taken “with love”, is sort of a strange one in that it does not really say anything concrete. Maybe there’s a cultural barrier here or maybe I’m just misinterpreting the whole thing, but it struck kind of an odd chord. Between that and the janky animation in places this is low on my rankings of episodes of this show so far.

That said, the episode does definitely have its strong points too. Building up some continuity by bringing in old characters--even if only for a little bit--is a really good call (and it’s honestly something that the currently-airing Star Twinkle Precure should perhaps be doing a little more of, much as I do love that show also). And despite its abruptness I did end up liking the powerup that Blossom got here, and I really cannot ovestate how absolutely hilarious Butt Punch is. Juvenile, sure, it’s a kids’ show, but it’s also very basic, elemental comedy. You use your butt, but it’s a punch. Amazing.

I’m also quite curious about the fellow with the black hair and glasses. My guess at this point is, some connection to the student council president maybe? Who knows. I’d also love to see Tada developed a bit more as a character, as I said earlier, she’s got the core of a fun character in her, it just needs a bit more work.

So overall, while I did not like this episode as much as some prior ones, I did still quite like it. I find it hard to ever walk away from a Precure episode with negative feelings.

I’m gonna make this a one-episode post. I hope to get back more into the swing of things this coming week since I’ll have more time than this past week (which was incredibly busy and awful and involved a failed job interview and bluerrrrghhh but that’s not why you’re reading this blog). Until next time!

#precure #HeartCatch PreCure #pretty cure

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classyfoxdestiny · 3 years

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Meet Delivery Bhoy: The man shaking up India’s booming gig economy

He was born in Punjab, educated in Europe and worked in Mumbai for almost a decade. But the Covid-induced lockdown squeezed him out of a job last year, forcing the former UX design professional to look for ways to make a quick buck.

He worked with Swiggy for two weeks, then switched to Zomato for better pay. Months later, he had an accident while riding to deliver a birthday cake at night when a scooter rammed into him. He quit delivering food the next day.

Then, in May, he read about a person dying in an accident in Ahmedabad while on delivery duty. “Some switch flipped in me that day,” he said. He tweeted about it at night.

By the morning, his message had been retweeted hundreds of times and his followers had swelled from 20 to 1,000. Using notes and screenshots gathered during his months as a delivery agent, he began tweeting about the condition of his colleagues. “Suddenly, people were listening,” he said.

Meet Delivery Bhoy, a 40-something unmarried man who’s driving conversation about gig workers in India with his twitter handle, forcing food delivery giants to respond to his allegations of poor pay and hostile working conditions.

Bhoy — who refused to identify himself for this article — takes great pains to protect his identity. He uses VPN while tweeting, limits his chats with other riders to Telegram, connects with journalists using a fake email address and voice chat on Zoom. When he tweets screenshots of his interactions with apps, he masks details that could help trace him.

He now works as a telecaller, with better hours and pay, but continues to be listed as a delivery partner with both Zomato and Swiggy. “If I am identified, a person in my financial and social position could be in for a major blowback and retaliation. Once my name is out there, my battle gets really tough,” Bhoy said.

Like him, there are now several handles that chronicle the experiences of delivery workers. There’s Surat-based rider Nitin Singh, who uses his name and photo on Twitter, @dliverypartner, @smokey33461095 and AK, a 37-year-old Hyderabad-based Zomato delivery partner. And the first one, anonymous account @SwiggyDEHyd, which got deactivated earlier this year after its user was identified and wanted to keep his job.

Together, they spotlight questions of adequate compensation, long hours, and lack of benefits and formal protections in the gig economy.

The structural and financial challenges

Delivery Bhoy’s tweets cover a vast swathe of the gig economy. These include the punishing hours agents have to put in to meet target-based incentives, humiliation at the hands of customers, the threat of getting reported for poor service, delivering through heavy rainfall, and the constant pressure to deliver orders with almost no rest.

But a common theme running through his advocacy is the demands made by the complex payment system of the delivery apps.

Typically, the payment for delivery partners has two components: A fixed base pay and target-based incentives that could include extra orders, better ratings or no cancellations. A typical order can earn a delivery agent around ₹25 while incentives can range between ₹200 and ₹400 for high volume of orders. A five-star rating can fetch the rider between ₹5 and ₹8, the accounts say. Working during certain peaks hours and difficult phases (such as rain) means extra income.

But these vary from city to city. In Surat, for example, Singh says he is paid ₹4/kilometre for delivery and an additional 50 paise for fuel. The base wage is ₹20 for the first two kilometres. “So, if I make a delivery one or two kilometres away, I am paid ₹20. But if I travel six kilometres, I am paid ₹24. This is apart from the 50 paise per kilometre for fuel,” said Singh.

When he waits at a restaurant to pick up an order, he is to be paid ₹1 per minute. If he makes ₹300 in a day, he is paid an additional ₹190. If he makes ₹400, he is paid ₹250.

“If I am logged in for at least eight hours, including for three hours between 7pm and midnight, I take home ₹500, irrespective of how many deliveries I made and how much I earned,” said Singh.

In reality, though, the app often calculates lower distances, doesn’t pay out waiting times and penalises him for refusing to make a delivery, he alleged. Moreover, high fuel costs mean that riders spend as much as four times higher than 50p per kilometer, apart from servicing, phone, internet and other expenses.

A Zomato delivery partner operating in Delhi, who did not want to be identified, alleged that his complaints have ranged from tiny pay outs for deliveries that took a long time, low estimation of delivery distances, and wages that left little profit after expenses.

“Petrol cost is continuously rising, my motorcycle needs frequent servicing and repair, and smartphone and internet data costs money. I barely save ₹12,000 in a month after riding 12 hours a day,” he said.

Zomato said riders had flexibility and could log off when convenient but many riders said that such decisions are followed by phone calls and messages from their team leads warning them.

Bhoy agreed, saying the app pushes delivery agents to deliver as fast as they can – jeopardising their safety – because it is linked with internal rankings, benefits and incentives. Delivery partners receive automated phone calls in the middle of a ride if their order is delayed. “If a fatal accident occurs during a delivery, the pay out to the rider’s family is just ₹5 lakh,” he said.

He also pointed towards the desperation of some delivery agents. “While these platforms boast four-day work weeks with full salary for their employees, the choice we have is turn up for work, work 12 hours straight and ride at lightening speeds. Laws exist for some of the workforce and not the other. That’s the core issue,” he said.

Zomato countered this allegation, saying riders could reject an order for “a genuine reason” without penalties, but at all other times, need to fulfil a customer’s order with the “responsibility and predictability that’s very routine for any job”. Swiggy didn’t respond to this particular question.

The fate of the rider also depends on the customer’s mood, the riders alleged. “If a customer is in a bad mood, or if the delivery is delayed for any reason, they simply rate us one on a scale of five. That badly impacts our ratings,” said AK, who made ₹400 after a 10-hour duty that involved riding for 50 kilometres on an average.

The battle against misrepresentation

Bhoy’s campaign tasted some success last month when comedian Danish Sait apologised after a video featuring him was criticised for insensitivity. Bhoy led the campaign against the promotional campaign, where Sait plays a delivery agent for a day, and said it misrepresented reality and erased many of the hardships faced by delivery agents.

“I respect the work that you do, & it wouldn’t be right for me to contest any of the points you’ve raised,” the comedian wrote, agreeing to take the video down.

Last week, another set of commercials by Zomato stirred a row. These commercials, involving actor Hrithik Roshan and Katrina Kaif, prompted Bhoy and others to say that the ads were tone deaf and showed that delivery agents had to rush from one order to the next with no rest. Their criticism forced Zomato to issue a response denying the charges.

“We believe that our ads are well-intentioned, but were unfortunately misinterpreted by some people. Having said that, we have been intently listening to all the chatter about gig workers and all the problems associated with this part of the economy. As a company, we have always acknowledged whenever we’ve come short, and we understand that you expect more and better from us,” Zomato said in a statement.

Some say that Bhoy and his supporters are well intentioned but don��t take into account the realities of the economy – and that gig workers would be far worse in the more exploitative informal economy. Others question whether Bhoy is even a real delivery agent – a charge he dismisses.

One of them is Safwan Rasheed, a 41-year-old rider with Zomato in Cochin. While he acknowledges a host of problems with the wages paid to riders, he thinks the pay is not bad in a Covid-battered economy. “I deliver food just four hours every day and make ₹350-400 easily. I know riders who earn up to ₹30,000 every month,” he said.

The mechanics of grievance redressal

But complaints by delivery partners are multiple and wide-ranging. Partners allege that the apps have a “penalty” system in place for refusal to carry out a delivery, or if a delivery was delayed. “If we refuse a delivery, we are fined ₹50. Delayed deliveries are also penalised. All this finally culminates into fewer orders for us,” said Singh. Like many riders, Singh complained he struggled to contact the companies to raise an issue.

A Zomato spokesperson countered this and said that they have 1,200 people to address the riders’ queries, “We resolve all queries well within the day itself,” the spokesperson added.

Swiggy refused to comment on the article or specific questions posed to the company but pointed to two blogs, uploaded on June 9 and July 27, that talk about the company’s Covid-19 support for delivery partners, including medical care, loss of pay, life insurance and emergency care, and a dedicated hotline SOS service that helps in compensating for pay during health crises or accidents.

“Partners who are unable to work due to on-duty medical emergencies are also granted loss of pay support, in addition to hospitalization and insurance support,” the company said in its blog.

Zomato and Swiggy are the dominant players India’s growing food delivery business and sit atop the gig economy mountain. After making its market debut in July, Zomato is valued at around $12 billion and after a new round of fundraising, Swiggy is worth around $5.5 billion.

Their success has fuelled and benefited from a burgeoning gig economy, which is set to triple over the next 3-4 years to 24 million jobs from the existing 8 million, according to a report by consulting firm Boston Consulting Group (BCG) and Michael & Susan Dell Foundation earlier this year.

At the core of this success are the 310,000 delivery partners who work with Zomato and 170,000-odd with Swiggy. But they are not formal employees and are accordingly called partners, agents, executives or associates. Experts say this nomenclature that they are ineligible for several benefits, be it a monthly salary or a provident fund account.

Kaveri Medappa, a PhD researcher at University of Sussex studying platform-based work, said issues raised by Bhoy and other accounts reflected ground realities. Similar unrest has been seen in the platform cab industry over the last three years with drivers linked to Uber and Ola going to strike in several cities over falling commissions, rising fuel prices and low earnings.

A Zomato spokesperson said that their pay-out was fair “for the work that they put in”.

“We are proud to create hundreds of thousands of gigs for a strata of society which otherwise didn’t have a better source of income. For example, in a city like Bengaluru, the top 20% of our delivery partners who deliver on bikes and put in more than 40 hours a week receive a pay of more than ₹27,000 per month,” the spokesperson said.

But Medappa said that the pay was good only for the early birds. “With more riders joining in, the income is dipping as the pay rates and incentives are decreasing,” she said.

A Zomato spokesperson said the firm believed that “all the allegations are biased (or maybe even vested) misunderstandings”.

“According to our point of view, if these allegations were even remotely true, our business would not sustain. Why? Because our delivery partners are the face of our brand – unhappy delivery partners would lead to unhappy customers, which would be terrible for our business. It’s in our interest to ensure they are cared for and that the platform works for them,” the company said, claiming over 60% of delivery partners rated them 9 or a 10 (out of 10) in happiness surveys.

Medappa said that if these firms began caring about the riders, their promises such as time deadlines and customer satisfaction would collapse. “Their system is pretty much in favour of the customers and stacked against the riders,” she added.

The online and offline battle

Many of these accounts took to Twitter under very different circumstances. Bhoy was reeling from the death of a fellow worker. Singh wanted to vent about not getting his dues, disputed pending payments and penalties. AK was angry after he discovered the delivery fee charged to a customer was double of what he was paid.

But now their battles have coalesced into a single goal of “putting pressure” on the companies.

“Every week, I make two or three accusations. If Zomato counters them in any way, I produce the evidence. I will continue doing this till they bring real changes on the ground,” Bhoy said.

AK, Singh and others regularly provide him with material. “These riders are not employees and cannot form a union. But they can keep taking up the issues with the public until the companies feel their image is getting dented,” said AK.

They understand the power of social media. Their campaign prompted Zomato to ask Bhoy to work with them – a development confirmed by Zomato – but he refused. “Their only intention of entertaining me was that they viewed me as a PR nightmare,” he said. But he isn’t worried about repercussions. “Such a big firm will look bad if they take a delivery boy to court,” he said.

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explodo-smash · 7 years

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what is your opinion on why izuku still "stick" or "follow" katsuki around even after basically being told to go away and being called useless like that? i mean, most people will immediately go away and take that as "well he doesnt like me, guess i cant befriend him" but not him so beside the obvious gold of heart that he has, what other reasons do you think? (e.g is it because naivity?) i really value your opinions and i would like to hear this from you mods! :D

hello, thank you for the lovely question!

the answer is admiration.

a sincere and innocent respect. “amazing.” “inspiring.” deku goes so far as to say “closer than all might”— he likens the feeling he harbours towards all might to his feeling for kacchan. “closer” is a key, “closer” narrows the scale and puts deku’s dialogue into perspective: all might appears to the world as kacchan appears to deku. he’s a standard, a hope, and most importantly, a reminder of his dream.

it may seem counterintuitive to call kacchan a “hope” with the harsh way kacchan conducted his behaviour. this is where we consider how the dynamic between kacchan and deku is designed, and how it contributes to bnha’s narrative and theme as a whole. kacchan and deku’s relationship is the core axis of bnha. they encompass its message. in order for the story to reveal their most personal feelings (and, by extension, a raw and meaningful message), it’s crafted their dynamic in a way that’s intensely personal. their interactions are where their most obvious and usually pivotal character development occurs. in other words, watching how kacchan and deku interact is the best way to understand their personal motivations, in their truest forms.

deku noticed kacchan’s drive to win/be a hero/be the best the moment he met him, and would remember it throughout all their time together.

a common misinterpretation of deku’s intentions is that he’s doing it entirely out of good will, innocence, and naivety. that’s not necessarily true. deku is naturally exceptionally altruistic, but this is hardly self-sacrifice, much less for kacchan’s sake— his feelings regarding kacchan can be pretty selfish. yes, deku had stuck to kacchan that long because deku feels as though HE has a lot to gain FROM kacchan.

let’s take a look at “admiration” and break it down.

the root of admiration is “to regard with wonder or approval”

it’s a very sincere, steady feeling, which doesn’t long for reciprocation or closeness in the same way as… for example, infatuation

thus it’s enough to have the object of admiration in your presence, to absorb their energy

admiration and envy can go hand-in-hand. if admiration is a feeling of warm approval, envy may occur when/if the traits being approved are something you don’t have yourself

many things about the person are charming and fascinating. in many ways, you wish to be just like them

therefore, having that person around seems to fill you with what you thought was missing

by existing in kacchan’s space, deku felt invigorated. kacchan’s existence made deku feel as though anything was possible, because kacchan himself was so amazing. kacchan had an amazing quirk, something deku both admired and envied. kacchan had a raw and sincere dream to become a hero, something deku shared with him. this amount of closeness was enough for deku. if it meant that deku could drink in kacchan’s powerful energy, incredible desire to succeed, and perhaps even… kacchan’s luck. kacchan’s blessings. deku didn’t care about getting pushed or thrown away, this was someone amazing he wouldn’t be able to find anywhere else.

by following, studying, and copying kacchan, deku found a powerful strength in himself.

deku needed to know that dreams were possible, and kacchan inching close to his every day… made it seem as though they truly were. kacchan gave deku hope. without kacchan, deku probably would’ve given up a long time ago.

this is what kacchan struggled to understand, because kacchan was afraid of and doubted deku’s sincerity. his thinking followed the same train of thought: “i treated you so bad, made our relationship tense on purpose because i wanted you to go away, and you still stuck around. why?” it wasn’t out of nobility— deku wanted something from him.

that’s why.

and this perfectly plays into the development of the narrative so far. now, at the present state of the story… in order to become the greatest hero with deku— the one who both saves and wins— kacchan will have to study deku and learn to admire him in return.

and we’ll come full circle.

#katsuki bakugou #midoriya izuku #boku no hero academia #bnha #answered #meta #Anonymous

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