#like. bad enough in a country where everyone involved had insurance.
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Brushing Your Teeth Effectively Lowers Your Chances of Getting a Host of Chronic Diseases, as Well as Keeping Your Teeth and Gums Healthy. But the Majority of Us are Doing It Wrong.
— By Martha Henriques | 18th July 2022 | BBC News
For a routine most of us have been practising since before we were tall enough to see into the bathroom mirror, we are remarkably bad at brushing our teeth.
In Sweden, one study found as few as one in 10 people practice the best brushing technique. The British health insurer Bupa found that almost half of respondents did not know how to brush their teeth properly in a survey of 2,000 people in the UK.
"It is very likely that anyone who has not had formal instructions from their dentist or hygienist brushes incorrectly," says Josefine Hirschfeld, associate professor and specialist in restorative dentistry at the University of Birmingham in the UK. "From my experience, this will be the vast majority of the population in any country."
Perhaps that is not surprising, given the bamboozling variety of information available on how you should brush your teeth. One study found at least 66 differing, sometimes conflicting, pieces of expert advice.
"I think it's very confusing for the consumer," says Nigel Carter, chief executive of the Oral Health Foundation in the UK. This confusion is amplified by the array of dental products available to buy, from tongue-scrapers to interdental waterjets.
So what exactly are most of us getting wrong, and how can we change our routine to make sure we brush our teeth effectively?
What's The Best Method?
"Lots of patients understand that what they need to do is remove food remnants," says Hirschfeld. "That is only partially true. It's much more important to remove bacteria from the teeth."
Think of brushing your gumline, rather than the teeth themselves. The teeth will then be brushed automatically – Josefine Hirschfeld
These bacteria and other microorganisms grow inside everyone's mouth, and form a claggy biofilm commonly known as dental plaque. It is made up of around 700 different species of bacteria, the second-greatest diversity in the human body after the gut, as well as a host of fungi and viruses. "They are living in the sticky film stuck to the teeth and also to the soft tissues," says Hirschfeld. "This sticky film can't be easily rinsed off – it really needs to be manually cleaned."
The most important place to remove it from is not in fact the teeth, but the gumline. This is where microbes are best able to infiltrate the gum tissue and cause inflammation, and eventually conditions such as periodontitis. In fact, "brushing your teeth" is something of a misnomer. "Think of brushing your gumline, rather than the teeth themselves," says Hirschfeld. "The teeth will then be brushed automatically."
So what exactly is the best way to do this?
The sheer variety of dental products available can be a source of confusion for consumers (Credit: Alamy)
One of the most effective ways to clear the biofilm is known as "the modified Bass technique". This requires considerably more manual dexterity than the vague put-the-brush-in-your-mouth-and-look-busy method that many of us use, as I soon find out.
In my bathroom, armed with my bamboo-handled, Nylon-bristled manual toothbrush, I prepare to attempt the modified Bass. Stuck to the mirror is my new miniature hourglass that times two minutes (more on that later). I turn it over, and begin.
The modified Bass technique involves placing the brush at a 45-degree angle to the tooth face (tilted down for the lower jaw and upwards for the upper, as if you are trying almost to edge the bristles below the gums). You then make small, vibratory movements back and forth at the gumline. After closely studying several videos, I give it a go.
A few moments later, my mirror is sprayed with white flecks of toothpaste and my brush is on the floor. In my enthusiasm I have somehow fumbled the brush, scraped the hard bamboo head across my gums and dropped it.
Undeterred, I give my toothbrush a brisk wash and try again, this time more tentatively. The small, brisk-but-gentle movements that Hirschfeld carefully described to me are surprisingly difficult to emulate. As a right-hander, it feels something like attempting to write in neat cursive script with my left. By the time I've painstakingly negotiated my entire gumline – upper, lower, inside and out – with an attempt at the modified Bass, I check my little green hourglass. My two minutes are up, who knows how long ago, and I haven't even started flossing yet.
There are other techniques besides the modified Bass that do a good job of removing the biofilm. On another occasion, I try out the modified Stillman – similar to the modified Bass, with the addition of an occasional pleasing sweeping motion away from the gumline, during which I envisage a biofilm of microbial gunk being swept into a foamy oblivion.
Some of the best-evidenced methods for removing the biofilm of microbes from your teeth are rarely practiced (Credit: Alamy)
After a week of experimentation, and dwindling flecks of toothpaste on the mirror as I feel I'm getting the hang of it, my gums start to feel a little sore. It turns out that in my enthusiasm, I've been applying too much pressure.
The pressure applied should be no more than 150-400g, says Hirschfeld, though the optimal pressure is still up for debate. Brushing too hard, especially with a firmer-bristled brush, can cause trauma to the gums. Small tears in the soft tissue caused by overzealous brushing are an opportunity for bacteria to enter the bloodstream. And grating the brush's bristles over the enamel can wear miniscule grooves in the tooth, which add up to significant erosion over time. People who use a manual toothbrush often press harder than those who use an electric brush, many of which have sensors to warn when the pressure is too great.
For a few days, I try a different technique, intended for children and people with less manual dexterity. The Fones method involves holding the brush at 90 degrees and making circular motions over the teeth, skimming the gumline. It's certainly easier to do while I experiment with getting the pressure about right. But I resolve to master the modified Bass once my gums have recovered from my eagerness.
"The modified Bass technique is one of the best ones. It cleans the teeth in the best possible way, without causing trauma to the teeth and gums," says Hirschfeld.
But the Oral Health Foundation's Nigel Carter notes, reassuringly, that getting the textbook version right isn't always what matters. "What dentists and hygienists generally recommend these days is to look at what the person is doing, and make modifications to their existing technique to improve," he says.
How Long?
Brushing for at least two minutes at a time, twice daily is the recommendation from the American Dental Association, the NHS, the Indian Dental Association, the Australian Dental Association, and many other national health organisations.
The trouble is, most of us are bad at estimating how long two minutes really is. The average duration that we actually brush for varies widely, from 33 seconds, 45 seconds, 46 seconds, to 97 seconds, according to different studies. Only around 25% of people brush their teeth for long enough, with the correct pressure and motion, according to one study led by Carolina Ganss, a professor in the department for conservative and preventive dentistry at Justus-Liebig University Giessen in Germany.
Fortunately, there are easy solutions such as using an app your phone, a miniature hourglass stuck to the bathroom wall (as I chose) or an electric toothbrush that has an inbuilt timer.
Unless you have had formal instruction from a trained dental professional, the likelihood is you won't have optimal brushing technique (Credit: Alamy)
In general, the longer the time spent brushing, the greater the quantity of biofilm removed, says Carter, but it is thought that around two minutes is about the length of time needed to get around all the surfaces of the teeth and gum line. For people who have gum disease or other oral health conditions, though, it might take longer to ensure the biofilm has been thoroughly dislodged.
"In fact, the optimal brushing time is highly dependent on the individual situation," says Hirschfeld. "It's not really defined, and it cannot be defined, because every person's dental and oral situation is different. What matters is that all teeth are cleaned all the surfaces of each tooth also including difficult to reach areas – and that can easily take a lot longer than two minutes."
How Often?
The advice in countries such as the US, the UK and Australia is to perform your carefully timed, diligently executed brushing technique twice a day. The Indian Dental Association, however, advises up to three times (including an after-lunch brush) can be beneficial. For most people with no major oral health issues, there's no benefit to going over and above this guidance.
"More is not necessary to remove bacteria from the teeth and it might actually be harmful to brush more often than twice a day", as excessive brushing risks abrasion to the tooth, says Hirschfeld. Though again there are exceptions. "If you think of people wearing braces where foods get really easily trapped, those patients are commonly advice to brush after each meal," she adds.
Brushing twice also helps hedge against imperfect technique. "Strictly if you brushed perfectly once a day would probably be enough, because it's the older plaque on your teeth that actually causes the problems for both tooth decay and gum disease," says Carter. "But none of us do 100%. So the idea is that by doing it twice you're getting the bits that you missed before, so each day you'll be cleaning everything."
Before or After Food?
Is it better to brush your teeth before or after breakfast? From toothpaste manufacturers to dental hospitals, many advocate that it is better to brush your teeth before breakfast than afterwards. But this is still an area of debate.
"There is no specific strong recommendation," says Hirschfeld. "But lots of dentists will recommend brushing afterwards, because not only will they remove the plaque but also food remnants from the breakfast."
Whether before or after breakfast would work better for you depends on what you eat and when. This is because there need to be two things for a biofilm to develop: microbes, and food for them to eat.
"Without bacteria or without food, you cannot develop cavities," says Hirschfeld. "If you brush the bacteria away really thoroughly before breakfast, then in theory it shouldn't matter how much sugar you eat. If there are no bacteria that can ferment it, then it's fine." But removing 100% of the biofilm in a single brushing session before breakfast is by no means assured, especially given most people's questionable brushing habits.
Equally, brushing after breakfast can be effective. "If you do have the sugars on top of the existing bacteria and then you brush them away, that should be equally fine," says Hirschfeld.
One of the main drawbacks of brushing after breakfast, however, is that you need to leave a good gap between eating and brushing – the American Dental Association recommends waiting 60 minutes. The reason is that acids in food, and in the by-products of microbes' digestion of carbohydrates, temporarily make the teeth vulnerable.
"Acids attack the enamel layer of the teeth and soften it for a certain amount of time," says Hirschfeld. This strips out some of the key components of the enamel – calcium and phosphate – though these are replaced over a period of hours by minerals in the saliva. "So the process is self-repairing. But if you don't wait for that self-repair to happen, then this eroded surface will become very susceptible to just being brushed off."
Whether it's best to brush before or after breakfast depends on the foods you're eating - and how long you can wait afterwards before brushing (Credit: Alamy)
Carter agrees that the before-or-after-breakfast question is nuanced, and depends on what you've had to eat. Acidic food and drink – such as citrus fruit, fruit juice and coffee – would be a reason to brush before rather than after breakfast, so you don't have to worry about interrupting the remineralisation process.
More important than the breakfast question is the evening brush, which also has a simpler answer: it should always happen last thing before bed.
"Your saliva is your natural protective mechanism," says Carter, inhibiting bacterial growth and tooth decay. "The saliva flow reduces overnight, so that's why it's very important that all the plaque is cleared away before you sleep."
What Should You Clean Your Teeth With?
There are some toothbrushes and toothpastes on the market that will literally "brush the teeth away", says Hirschfeld. Highly abrasive toothpastes, which are often marked as "whitening", and hard-bristled brushes are notorious for this, particularly when used together.
"It is a very slow process it happens over years or decades," she says. "But over time, the teeth get abraded and can then be very sensitive to temperatures or to developing cavities."
Medium-bristled brushes are best for adults, and a toothpaste that doesn't contain small abrasive particles. A smaller brush head – allowing for more manoeuvrability around individual teeth – is also preferable, says Hirschfeld, as is making sure you replace a worn brush before its bristles become too misshapen.
Traditional toothbrushes or chewing-sticks such as the miswak from the toothbrush tree, widely used across Africa, the Middle East and South Asia, are also effective in removing plaque and preventing cavities. But they come with a higher risk of abrasion to gums if they aren't used correctly. (See Nature's toothbrush box).
Even more effective than manual options, though also more expensive, is the electric toothbrush. After years of studies showing no significant difference between the two, a number of meta-analyses have found moderate levels of evidence that electric toothbrushes are more effective in removing plaque. (The authors of these meta-analyses note that they have received funding in the past from the manufacturers of electric toothbrushes.)
Part of the reason is the vibratory motion is automatic and relies on less manual dexterity, but another factor is the size of the heads. Many also have pressure sensors that light up when the user is pressing too hard, risking enamel damage. "But if you use a manual toothbrush and use it absolutely correctly in terms of brushing method and pressure and so on, then you will get an equally good result," says Hirschfeld.
Should You Floss?
Despite occasional controversies about the paucity of research on flossing, many dental health organisations remain staunch proponents of the practice.
"If you think of each tooth as a cube where five surfaces are exposed to the oral environment, all of these areas have biofilms growing on them, and there is really no reason why to leave out to half of them," says Hirschfeld.
In the UK, Carter estimates that a very small proportion – perhaps one in 20 people – habitually use floss. A survey in 2019 found that one-third of UK adults had never used floss at all.
Nature’s Toothbrush
The toothbrush tree, Salvadora persica, has played a central role in dental hygiene for around 7,000 years. This small tree grows widely across much of Africa, the Middle East, India and Pakistan. In mature trees, the twisted trunk of pale bark leads up to a close-packed canopy of lush, small-leaved green foliage.
Since Babylonian times, the smaller twigs of the tree have been cut and stripped of leaves, and chopped into sections easily held in one hand. One end of the twig is loosened and frayed, creating a bushy fibrous tip that acts as an effective toothbrush, known as a miswak.
As well as helping dislodge the biofilm mechanically, the tree produces antimicrobial compounds that inhibit the growth of pathogens that cause periodontitis and cavities, and is naturally high in fluoride.
The miswak, from trees such as Salvadora persica, have been used for millennia to help keep teeth clean (Credit: Alamy)
Floss is not the only way to get rid of the biofilm between teeth. The characteristics of your teeth – crowded or widely spaced, for instance – will determine what will work best, a small brush or a thin piece of floss. For those who have gum or teeth problems, interdental cleaning is an opportunity to go all-out. "Lots of our patients use a wide variety of interdental cleaning devices, so they have maybe five or six different brushes of different sizes, floss and other brushes," says Hirschfeld. The time spent flossing should be considered part of your two-minute clean, she adds, and there's no need to do it more than once a day.
This is despite one review of randomised controlled trials (RCTs) in 2011 claiming there was only "weak, very unreliable evidence which suggests that flossing plus toothbrushing may be associated with a small reduction in plaque at one or three months", and most studies had methodological flaws. However, that review was later withdrawn, after objections that the "absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence". A later, updated version found that flossing was significantly better than brushing alone at reducing gingivitis (superficial gum disease, which can lead later to deep gum disease, or periodontitis), though the evidence that it reduced plaque was still "weak" and "very unreliable".
"It is really hard to conduct these types of studies," says Hirschfeld. It's difficult to get a large enough cohort, reflective of the general population and not simply dental students who are easy to recruit to such studies, and to get around factors such as the unreliability of self-reporting. Another major challenge is carrying out the studies long enough to see how the incidence of teeth and gum problems is altered, which can take decades. "That is hard, if not impossible, to do. That's why the evidence is weak."
What Kind of Toothpaste is Best?
While there is a plethora of different toothpastes, from cavity-prevention to whitening to sensitivity-reduction, expensive brands aren't necessary to do the essentials, Hirschfeld and Carter agree.
"I've looked at the ingredient list of some of the really cheap toothpastes that I've seen, as cheap as 40p on occasion, and I don't see anything wrong with them," says Hirschfeld.
Of the long list of ingredients on the back of an average packet of toothpaste, there is one ingredient in particular to look out for: "Fluoride content," says Hirschfeld. "That is definitely the key factor." It should be around at least 1,350 parts per million (ppm) for adults, and 1,000 ppm for children to protect the enamel from acids.
Tooth enamel is the hardest tissue in the human body, and one of the hardest found in nature. "Almost as hard as diamond," notes Hirschfeld. It is mostly made up of a mineral called hydroxyapatite (a kind of calcium phosphate) arranged in a complex crystalline structure, which varies in different forms and arrangements throughout the tooth to increase hardness and durability.
But despite its resilience to mechanical force, enamel is easily dissolved in acid. The microbes present in the biofilm release lactic acid as a by-product from digesting the sugars and carbohydrates that can become trapped between our teeth. This lactic acid gradually leaches calcium and phosphate from the enamel, which eventually begins to crumble and forms a cavity.
Compounds naturally present in the saliva can go some way to replacing the lost minerals. In particular, if fluoride is present (as it naturally is in soils and water in many parts of the world), then the enamel reforms as fluorapatite, which is more resistant to acids than hydroxyapatite. Spitting out toothpaste when you're finished but refraining from rinsing helps the fluoride to hang around the teeth longer, for additional protection.
"Since fluorides have been introduced into toothpaste, the incidence of cavities has gone down everywhere where fluoridated toothpaste is used," says Hirschfeld.
However, some fashionable ingredients should be treated with caution. Charcoal, which has been used to clean teeth for millennia and has become increasingly popular in commercial toothpastes, has less research to back it up. There is little evidence charcoal whitens teeth, and it may increase the risk of tooth erosion and other problems. Claims regarding antibacterial, antifungal and antiviral properties of charcoal toothpastes cannot be substantiated, according to one review, concluding dentists should "advise their patients to be cautious when using charcoal and charcoal-based [dental products] with unproven claims of efficacy and safety".
Many charcoal toothpastes don't contain fluoride, and therefore offer less protection from cavities. However, if someone uses a toothpaste with no added fluoride, they will still get some benefit from brushing their teeth. "They can still get the mechanical plaque removal," says Carter. "But they're not going to get the decay-prevention benefit, which is essentially what fluoride in toothpaste does."
Some other popular additives in toothpaste may be less controversial. Toothpastes containing baking soda (small crystals of sodium bicarbonate) have been found to remove plaque better than those without, according to the authors of one meta-analysis, though they noted more follow-up studies were needed (the authors of that study stated that they had received funds from toothbrush and toothpaste manufacturers in the past). The same analysis found that baking-soda toothpastes may give a slight reduction in bleeding due to gingivitis.
Should You Use Mouthwash?
Mouthwash is less effective than teeth-brushing at removing plaque, says Carter, but when combined the two can remove a little more plaque than brushing alone. "I would say that it's a very useful additional element, not to replace tooth brushing but as an addition."
It can, however, be useful for treating gingivitis, according to one recent consensus statement. To be useful, it should contain at least 100ppm fluoride and be clinically proven to reduce plaque. And it is best to use it only if your gums are already bleeding, rather than as a preventative measure.
An old, over-worn toothbrush doesn't clean the teeth as effectively (Credit: Alamy)
For want of a better term, there is, perhaps, a "sweet spot" for brushing your teeth effectively. Not enough brushing, and the biofilm builds up and risks cavities and periodontitis. Too much, or too hard, and the enamel is easily brushed away over time. Though getting the ideal routine – with floss or interdental brushes, and perhaps mouthwash if you have gingivitis – might be fiddly, it's more than worth it for the payoff in overall health.
As explored in part one of this series of articles, effective brushing is emerging as an impactful way of lowering our risk of not just bad breath, yellow teeth and cavities, but developing conditions such as type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease and cognitive decline.
"Increasing evidence suggests that one pathway linking periodontal disease and cognitive impairment is through inflammation," says Bei Wu, dean's professor in global health at New York University's Rory Meyers College of Nursing. "Good oral hygiene behaviours, such as brushing teeth effectively can reduce dental plaque and reduce the risk of gum inflammation."
With that for motivation, my now burgeoning collection of brushes, interdental devices, floss and a new bathroom timer don't seem so excessive after all.
— Martha Henriques is Editor of BBC Future Planet
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EMIGRANT WILDERNESS (2/2)
This was a rough trip. Cut for long description of hiking misadventures, mostly for my own reference:
The plan was to spend three days/two nights out on the trail---we were going to camp the first night at Camp Lake, then move on to Bear Lake in the morning, drop off our packs, and do a day hike up to Granite Lake, which is only a couple of miles from Bear Lake but is (notably) off-trail. Then we would spend the second night at Bear Lake and pack out in the morning. Hiking party was me, my dad, and my dad’s best friend, B. In a humorous initial setback, we had come expecting to pick up a wilderness permit from the ranger station only to discover that the station was closed and advance notice was required for an off-hours permit. We decided to risk it!
The first night and morning were lovely, although we all got way too high on B’s stash of medicinal chocolate and had a perhaps-unduly-hilarious time setting up camp. In the morning we had a slow start, and didn’t get to Bear Lake until 2:00. We had some indecision over which campsite to claim, and ended up dropping our packs at a point slightly after the trail ended, on the theory that we would pick them up on our way back from Granite, and compare campsite merits then. We then followed the creek our to the fairly steep rock scramble/ridge which is the only way to get to Granite Lake in < two hours. We’d done maybe half an hour of that, my dad at the front, me in the middle, and B at the back, when Dad and I noticed that B was no longer behind us.
After shouting for him a bit we went back to where we’d left the packs; B had packed three walkie-talkies but we... hadn’t actually brought ours for the day hike. But we thought he might have! So we took one and went back up the ridge, hoping to get in range. After another hour’s search we were significantly discouraged and circled back to base a second time, whereupon we discovered that B’s walkie-talkie was, of course, clipped to his pack.
Fine: we decided to stay there and set up camp, on the assumption that he would have turned around soon after noticing we were separated. We took our packs back to the closest established campsite, and left a note on his pack saying where we had gone.
Then we had a long unpleasant wait until sunset. Neither of us really knew what to do; it was obvious that, whatever had happened, he wasn’t going to make it back before dark. The most attractive possibility was that he had decided to forge ahead to Granite Lake on the assumption that he would meet us there; the least was that he had slipped and been injured and couldn’t move. We went over to where his pack was, debated bringing it back to camp, and instead attached my dad’s flashlight to a nearby tree and set it on blinker mode, hoping that B would be able to see it from a distance in the dark.
At this point we had already agreed that someone needed to hike back to the trailhead and get help, but weren’t at all sure about timing: Dad wanted to leave me at camp and go on his own in the dark, which I thought was a dumb idea; he understandably didn’t want to wait until morning to get a real search started. In the end we decided to pack out together that night, since we had multiple lights and phone battery still. First we ate a fortifying meal of flat pasta and salmon mush. Between that and decamping, we didn’t leave until about 8:00.
To my surprise the night hike was pretty painless---we got lost in a marsh skirting Bear Lake, but once we found the trail again we didn’t have any major problems. Some of this was luck. We also made excellent time, since both of us were terrified. We went through one bike light and about 5% of my phone battery. I kind of wish I didn’t have such a finely-calibrated sense of how much phone battery corresponds to how much time safely trundling on a gentle downhill, but whatever. We met a guy at Camp Lake, who we fed B’s description and asked to keep an eye out. At some point the moon rose.
Once back at the trailhead, Dad drove us out to---uh, a couple of different places, in search of signal, but we ended up stopping at a gas station with a pay phone, where he called 911 and got confirmation that a search and rescue team would go out in the morning. I’ve never seen him make so many hand gestures while on the phone. I halfheartedly suggested that we go and camp at the trailhead, but he, for some mysterious reason, wanted to stay somewhere with signal so that we could establish contact with the SAR team as soon as they went out, and I was very eager for a bed. We found a motel, showered, and he I think lay awake all night while I passed out on the promise of a 6am wakeup.
At 6 we gave the deputy sheriff(!) B’s description, drove out to meet him at the pack station, and (on arrival) were told that B had been found, was fine, and was being brought back to the station imminently.
What happened? Well, we were right that B plunged ahead and got to Granite, and only there realized that we hadn’t made it up at all; he also hadn’t realized that the descent would be slower than the ascent, because of the steep downhill scramble. But he, like us, had some phone battery left, and made it down in the dark (a much more impressive feat without a trail). He found our abandoned campsite... at around 8:30. lmao.
He didn’t find his pack. He had: a walking stick, a hat, a water bottle I had irresponsibly left at the campsite, but no jacket or lighter. Lacking shelter or food, he decided to hike back to the trailhead himself, although his phone was dead and he would have to wait for the moon to rise. And he did! although he reportedly spent a lot longer in the marsh than we did, and ended up doubling back along the trail between Camp Lake and the trailhead three or four times, because he kept ending up at the creek rather than the bridge. He considered knocking on the tent door of that guy we’d told about him, but decided against it, out of politeness. Finally he made it to the trailhead, only to find no trace of us and the car gone.
“I guess I’ll hike to the freeway??” he presumably mumbled, and set out---by this point it was starting to get light, and thank god he didn’t get very far before the sheriff’s car rattled up to pick him up. He had what looked like the beginnings of frostnip, per WebMD, but he wasn’t otherwise injured and in the whole thing all he’d lost were his sunglasses.
(Everyone at the station was very kind! Not once were we asked whether we had a wilderness permit, which was just as well. We left, B commandeered directions in order to guide us to a diner, deputy sheriff & co. showed up at same diner, Twain Harte is a very small town. Instead of paying a large fine, Dad bought the SAR team breakfast, which is just another way of contributing to the community.)
...In conclusion, we should definitely have moved his pack to the much-more-visible campsite, and we should probably have stayed longer and maybe even waited until morning to hike out, or at least camped at the trailhead. But also holy shit, that was so fucking scary! I’ve been on a succession of star-crossed hikes this year which were neatly ordered by scale of dread: the Santa Fe river one where the worst I had to fear was the heat, Wedgemount where *I* was convinced I was going to die but was not at any risk, and then this. Important takeaway: preparation is worth nothing if you don’t use it; also, good to weigh likelihood of scenarios which will be made more dire by delay against scenarios which will be made more dire by haste. Real soul takeaway: walkie-talkies suck. keep a lighter in your hat.
#photoblogol#this experience DID make me oddly grateful that i didn't drag clodia out on expeditions from marmaris#like. bad enough in a country where everyone involved had insurance.
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The Silent Auction- (Hizashi Yamada X Fem!Reader)
This is my contribution to the Citrus Dome Auction Collab! Hizashi is honestly one of my favorite characters to write for and it’s a crime I don’t use him more.
Word Count: ~8.5k
Contains: smut, pet names, unprotected sex, creampie, DDLG (if you squint)
Banner by @ladyshinigami
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“I can’t believe this.” You sigh for the umpteenth time, twisting this way and that to look at yourself in the bathroom mirror. You’re wearing a rich, black, floor-length gown with a high slit up one side and just the right amount of ruching to tastefully accentuate your curves. It was truly a miracle that it fit without the need for alterations, considering you’d had to buy the thing in a rush. Hell, you’d barely glanced at the price tag before slapping down your company credit card, viewing it as a bit of karmic justice for your boss’ callous, last-minute assignment. Sure being a sidekick of Endeavor’s (even a minor one) had its perks, but that didn’t make him any less of a nightmare to work for. As you struggled with the miniscule clasp on your necklace, you replayed this morning’s events in your head.
“The Heroes Gala?” You’d questioned, cocking your head in confusion and earning an irritated groan from the Flame Hero.
“Surely you’ve heard of it.” He’d snarked, the flames that ring his face seeming to flare in annoyance. “The Commission holds it once a year as a way to celebrate our achievements in hero society today and raise money for future endeavors. Dignitaries and heroes from all over the country– the world really– are expected to attend.”
“I’m aware of that, sir.” You’d chirped back, straightening up to make up for your lapse in decorum. “I’m just confused by what this has to do with me.”
If looks could kill, the glare he’d shot you would have put you in a coffin.
“Unfortunately, I’ve been called away on an urgent mission and can’t make it to the gala this year. But since I am the Number One Hero, my agency must provide some form of representation. That’s where you come in.”
Your eyes went wide at that, heart jumping into your throat as the gravity of the situation sank in. As far as your job was concerned, Endeavor’s word was law. There was no bargaining or substitution to be made. He didn’t even wait for a response before continuing.
“Your role for this event is simple: smile, wave, and maybe bid on a few of the auction items as a show of good faith. If you win something, fine. Just make sure it’s nothing… distasteful.”
You were tempted to question the noticeable shudder that ran through him as spat out the final word. But the careless wave of his hand was the signal for you to bow and leave, giving you no room for queries. However, just as you were about to walk out the door, he decided to toss some parting remarks your way.
“Make sure to wear something appropriate. It is a black tie event, after all. And one of my other sidekicks will be escorting you this evening. Call it insurance to make sure you don’t do anything to embarrass me.”
“Asshole.” You hiss under your breath, successfully hooking the clasp shut and putting a few loose hairs back in place. “What does he think I’m going to do? Get wasted and swing from the chandelier?”
Still muttering a litany of colorful curses, you march to the edge of your bed and plop down to slip into the matching stilettos you’d picked out during your brief shopping trip. Shoes like these were normally well out of your comfort zone (not to mention your price range), but you weren’t the one paying for them. Call them compensation for sacrificing one of your precious nights off. Once they were on, you stood up from the bed and carefully made your way over to the full length mirror in the corner of the room. You smooth down the fabric of your dress, picking away a few stray pieces of lint and checking for any “embarrassing” blemishes or stains. But everything is almost irritatingly perfect, not a stitch out of place. You’re about to launch into another tirade against Endeavor when your work phone chimes from it’s spot on the nightstand. No doubt it’s your “escort” (you refused to call him a date) texting to let you know he was coming to get you. Or worse, already here.
“No turning back now.”
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
“This is it.” You hear Endeavor’s other sidekick grunt, forcing you to snap out of your daydreaming and look towards him. You hadn’t batted an eye when you stepped out of your apartment to find Endeavor had sent a limo, driven by one of his fleet of personal chauffeurs, to pick you up. He did have a knack for flashing his wealth and status whenever possible. What did surprise you was his choice of escort for the evening: a man by the name of Buru (or Taurus if you were to use his hero name). Buru was a fair bit older than you, sporting a pair of bull horns and hooves, and corded with so much muscle it was a wonder how he managed to squeeze into a tux. You seem positively miniscule compared to his hulking frame, making you look like a rather odd couple. The driver pulls up to the curbside, quickly putting the limo in park before getting out to hold the door open for you. He courteously extends a hand to you, which you graciously accept before snagging your evening clutch from the seat beside you. You gracefully step out of the vehicle and onto an honest-to-god red carpet leading towards one of the glitziest hotels in the heart of Tokyo, blinking in the wake of what feels like a hundred camera bulbs flashing around you. Reporters and cameramen are clamoring to snap pictures of the various celebrities and heroes, asking questions that run the gamut from classy to trashy.
Buru plods around the limo to join you by your side, giving you a subtle nod to signal that it’s time to start walking. You set off down the plush runway, walking with more confidence than you felt as reporters peppered you and Buru with questions about your relationship to the Number One Hero. Evidently they’d been tipped off regarding Endeavor’s absence. Buru remained stone-faced, his long strides quickly outstripping your much more delicate steps.
“So much for being an escort.” You think, deciding to pick up the pace so as to not be left behind. And that decision quickly reveals itself to be a terrible mistake. Your pencil thin heel catches on a hidden snag in the carpet, causing your ankle to twist and buckle beneath you. You’re thrown off balance, teetering wildly before plummeting headlong towards the carpeted pavement. But before you can fall flat on your face, a set of strong, slender hands wrap themselves around your torso and pull you upwards, your back coming in contact with your savior’s chest.
“Woah there, little listener!” A familiar voice trills in your ear, their hands releasing you once you’re back on stable footing. “You almost took one helluva stage dive! You good?”
You turn over your shoulder to find a smiling face, framed by outrageous orange sunglasses and a well-trimmed mustache. Hypnotic, emerald eyes seem to sparkle back at you and his long blond hair is tied up in a messy, half-bun. You know this man. Everyone in Tokyo with a radio knows him: Present Mic, the Voice Hero.
“Thanks, Present Mic.” You mumble, an embarrassed blush rising on your cheeks. It was bad enough you’d stumbled in front of the press; the incessant clicking and flashing of cameras was reminding you of that. But to be saved by another hero on top of it… it was a little too much. However, the blonde doesn’t seem to care, giving a hearty laugh and clapping a hand on your shoulder good-naturedly.
“Don’t mention it, baby!” He chortles, winking in a way that would seem forced or cheesy coming from anyone else. “Always happy to help. Besides, it doesn’t seem like your boyfriend is too keen on stickin’ around.”
“Boyfriend?” You ask, cocking your head before remembering who you came with. You blush an even deeper shade of red, sure your face is about to burst into flames akin to your employer’s own. “Oh! No, no, no! He’s not my boyfriend. We just work together at the agency.”
“No kiddin’?” Mic says, his grin spreading impossibly wider before straightening up and offering an arm to you. “In that case, how ‘bout I lend you a hand until we get inside? No offense but those heels ya got on seem closer to stilts than kicks, ya dig?
While his radio slang is a bit confusing, you can’t help but find it a little endearing. With a sheepish nod, you grab a hold of his jacket-clad forearm and allow him to smoothly lead you down the remainder of the red carpet. He’s in full ‘Present Mic mode” as you walk together, all winning smiles and carefree waves as the press peppers him with questions.
“Mic who are you wearing this evening?”
“Present Mic! What’s the name of your damsel in distress?
“Mic! Is it true you’re involved in a scandalous affair with fellow Pro, Eraserhead?”
He lets their shameless inquiries roll off of him like water off a duck’s back, only blowing a dramatic kiss to the crowd before you both disappear behind the front doors. Once inside the lobby, Mic walks you over to one of three elevators, ushering you inside with a crush of other gala-goers once the doors open. It’s a short ride up to the venue space, and you can’t help but gasp when the elevator doors open onto an immaculately decorated ballroom. Every wall and archway is decorated with banners in the Hero Commission's signature black and gold colors, festooned with matching sprays of floral arrangements. There’s a live band somewhere in the room, playing soft jazz in the background to create an elegant atmosphere for the evening. But most impressive of all is the view; the farthest wall is made up entirely of floor-to-ceiling windows, offering a panoramic view of the Tokyo skyline. The sun is just starting to dip below the horizon, washing the room in an amber light that gives everyone a coppery glow. You’re so spellbound by the scene before you that Mic’s low whistle causes you to jump slightly. How long has he had his arm draped over your shoulders? Come to think of it, when had you slipped your own arm around his waist?
“Damn.” He breathes, carefully walking out of the elevators with you in tow. “This place is bitchin’. So much cooler than last year’s venue.”
“Is that so?” You say, your head swiveling around as a waiter breezes past you with a tray of finger foods. You don’t notice the way Mic watches you, nor do you see the crooked smile that crosses over his face as your tongue darts out to wet your lips.
“Oh yeah.” He says, leading you away from the elevators and further into the crowd. “Last year the Commission rented out some–”
“Mic!” A deep voice calls above the steady thrum of conversation, cutting him off. An equally deep, if not more irritated voice calls out your own name simultaneously. The two of you look in opposite directions, the blonde towards a pair of dark-haired individuals waving him over and you towards your forgotten escort. Buru is fuming, smoke practically pouring out of his ears as he marches towards you.
“Where were you?” He growls while grabbing the hand closest to him and pulling you away from Mic harshly. “You’re not supposed to leave my side. Boss’ orders!”
“Stop it Buru!” You snap, yanking your hand out of his grip. “If you didn’t want me to leave your side, maybe you should have waited for me back on the red carpet. I nearly fell and busted my ass thanks to you! If Present Mic hadn’t been there–”
“No excuses.” Buru snaps back, “I shouldn’t have to wait around because you can’t keep up. We’re Mr. Todoroki’s sidekicks, so try to act like it!”
“Todoroki?” You hear the blonde hero echo behind you, “As in Enji Todoroki? Endeavor?”
You wince at Mic’s words, grateful your back is turned to him at the moment. Endeavor may be a hero, but being associated with him didn’t evoke a lot of warm, fuzzy feelings in folks. And many tended to react poorly when they found out who you worked for. With a dejected sigh, you turn back towards Mic, ignoring the way Buru impatiently stamps his hooves behind you.
“Yes, that’s right.” You say glumly, putting up your mask of professionalism. “I’m one of Endeavor’s sidekicks. He was called away on urgent business and sent me and my associate here to represent him and his agency. Forgive me for not telling you earlier.”
You offer a quick, apologetic bow, hoping to slink away as quickly as possible. But to your surprise, Mic doesn’t scoff, jeer, or even try to suck up to you for favors. He laughs. Not in a cruel or condescending way, but a real, mirthful laugh, infectious to the point you feel your own tension ease slightly.
“So that’s why I didn’t recognize ya!” He chortles, smacking his palm to his forehead. “Although it’s not too surprising. That dude cycles through more sidekicks than a jukebox does music.”
The nonchalant way he insults your boss causes your mask to slip and you let loose a giggle of your own. Buru, on the other hand, is clearly not amused.
“How dare you insult the Number One Hero!” He roars, stepping forward to point a scathing finger at Mic. “Endeavor is twice- no, three times the hero you could ever hope to be!”
“Woah, woah, woah! Take it easy, dude!” Mic says, putting his hands up before shooting you another playful wink. “All I meant was I definitely would have remembered meeting a pretty little thing like your partner here.”
You find yourself blushing and batting your eyelashes at him, returning his obvious attempts at flirting in a more surreptitious manner. Buru just places one broad hand on your shoulder, giving Mic a derisive snort before he starts to drag you away.
“You’re not worth the effort.” He huffs, “Just stay away.”
You can’t resist adding one more match to the fire of Buru’s rage, looking over your shoulder and belting out a cheerful, “It was nice meeting you!”
“See ya around!” The blonde calls back, giving you a chipper wave before disappearing into the throng. Buru leads you to a table at the far end of the room, set with fine crystal stemware and gold place settings. He stiffly pulls out a chair for you, allowing you to sit down before taking up residence beside you. You’re amazed the flimsy looking things can support any weight at all, much less the mountain of horned muscle currently glowering at you. He crosses his arms and leans back with a grunt.
“So… now what?” You ask, absentmindedly fiddling with the gold napkin ring in front of you.
“You stay put.” He commands, “No leaving my sight for any reason.”
“You’re joking right? Do you seriously expect me to sit here with you all night?”
Buru doesn’t answer, instead turning his glare onto the crowd. You groan and flop forwards to rest your elbows on the table, opting to occupy your time with people watching. The ballroom is crawling with high-profile attendees: pros and sidekicks, politicians and CEO’s, celebrities and VIP’s. All of them with money, power, and prestige oozing out of their pores. You watch as the tuxedo-clad waitstaff scurry amongst the party-goers, offering up trays of hors d'oeuvres and honey-colored champagne. Every once a while, one of them makes their way over to your table with some delicious little morsel to offer. And in your famished state, the already excellently prepared food tastes like heaven. But when a server carrying a tray of champagne comes by to offer you a glass, Buru grabs your wrist before you can partake and rudely waves the poor girl off.
“What the hell was that for?” You hiss, rubbing at your now sore wrist.
“No alcohol. You’ve embarrassed me and Endeavor enough as it is.”
That does it. You can deal with villains, Endeavor, even your parents if necessary. But this “personal babysitter” schtick has gone far enough. You stand up from the table with a huff, swiftly moving out of Buru’s reach before he can grab you again.
“Sit down!”
“No! I have to go to the bathroom. Can I at least do that?”
“I’ll accompany you.”
“Like hell you will! I’m a grown woman. I can go to the bathroom by myself without getting in trouble.”
Buru narrows his eyes and scowls deeply at you. You stare him down, refusing to back down from this fight. After a few tense moments, he relaxes slightly and gives a curt nod.
“You have ten minutes.”
You grab your clutch, turn on your heel and march off into the fray, doing your best to avoid stepping on other people with your dagger sharp heels. As you make your way across the crowded dance floor, you begin to recognize the more popular Pro Heroes among the sea of faces. Some of them you’d had the privilege of meeting personally, like Hawks and Miruko, both of whom were currently surrounded by fans and admirers. Others you’d only seen on TV or in newspaper clippings, but that didn’t make them any less impressive. In fact, you were too busy watching Fatgum scarf down a whole tray of artisanal onigiri by himself to notice a certain blonde standing in your way until it was too late. You bumped right into him, bouncing off with an embarrassed “I’m so sorry!” before coming eye-to-eye with those striking green whorls again.
“Oh hey, it’s you!” Mic exclaims, grinning down at you like he hasn’t seen you in ages. “No need to be sorry, baby. This thing’s a rental anyways!”
“But you’re all wet now.” You say, watching him while he wipes the remains of his spilled champagne off his tux jacket. “I can pay for the cleaning fees if necessary. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
“Honey, trust me. There are worse things to be covered in than free champagne. I’ve been to enough of these gigs to know!”
You giggle and open your mouth to respond, but are cut off by a velvety voice coming from your left.
“Is this the little songbird you were telling us about, Zashi?’
You turn to find one of Present Mic’s companions from earlier, a dark-haired woman sipping her own drink and watching your exchange. She’s dressed in a skintight, scarlet gown with a neckline that plunges almost to her navel. A matching pair of horn-rimmed spectacles are perched on her nose, framing her striking cerulean eyes. Even without their signature harness and flogger, you recognize her as Miss Midnight.
“Yup! She’s the one!” Present Mic confirms, casually slinging his arm back around your shoulders. “What’d I tell ya? Pretty cute, right?”
The R-Rated Hero turns her gaze on you at his words, the sultry look in her eyes causing your stomach to flip a little. Seriously, it should be illegal for anyone to look that sexy.
“Very cute.” She assesses with a nod, “Zashi says you work for Endeavor, yes?”
“Y-yeah.” You fumble, slightly flustered and tongue-tied in the face of her scandalous beauty. “I’m one of his sidekicks.”
“I’m sorry.” Midnight quips back, her lack of manners shocking you slightly. But judging by the booze-bitten blush on her cheeks, you suppose the liquid courage in her system is to blame. “I know he’s the Number One Hero, but I’ve been his colleague long enough to realize how intense he can be. He must have you on a pretty short leash, huh?”
“I’ll say!” Mic chimes in, “He sent along some “nanny cow” of a sidekick to watch her all night. Speakin’ of which, how’d you manage to shake him?”
“Well…”
You glance back in the direction you came from, only for your face to drain of all color as you see a tell-tale pair of horns bobbing up and down amongst the crowd. Hizashi follows your line of sight and instantly sees the danger. Quick as anything, his arm snakes around your midriff and he turns to Midnight for assistance.
“Hey Nemuri, I got a gig for ya. See that guy with the horns? Big, mean, and ugly lookin’? Think you can distract him for a few minutes?”
“No problem!” She chirps without hesitation, tipping back the rest of her brightly colored cocktail before readjusting the neckline of her dress. It makes you wonder how much cleavage someone can possibly show before it crosses the line into pornographic. You’re too busy looking over your shoulder for Buru to notice the subtle wink that passes between the two heroes. And then Hizashi is moving, seamlessly flitting through the crowd and keeping you firmly glued to his side as you duck and weave around the other guests. You have to admit the speed at which he navigates the crowded space is impressive as he heads for one of the darkened archways lining the walls. Soon the crowd thins out and you reluctantly pry yourself out from under Mic’s arm to get your bearings. He’s lead you into a dimly-lit, side hallway, with tables and doorways lining the farthest walls. The din of party conversation and music is more muffled now, making you feel like you’re in a state of limbo.
“Where are we?”
“Silent auction.” Mic answers plainly, “Figured I’d take you somewhere quieter while we let Midnight do her thing.”
“And what exactly is her ‘thing?” You ask skeptically, wandering over to one of the display tables to check out the wares.
“You’ll see.” He says with a smirk, silently following behind you with his hands in his pockets. There are miniature spotlights shining down on the auction items, with slips of paper and pens for people to write in their bids. All the prizes are exceedingly lavish, from baskets overflowing with expensive spirits and goodies to exotic trips around the world. And the bids themselves leave your head spinning, shocked and a little sickened by the amount of money being casually thrown around.
“I’m sorry, the minimum bid for this is how much?” You scoff, pointing at the high price tag on what appears to be a singular bottle of wine. Mic leans over your shoulder to read the number himself, letting out a low whistle.
“Must be some good stuff.” He says with a smirk.
“I’m totally bidding on it.”
“You’re kiddin’ right? Last I checked, sidekicks don’t make that kind of bank, even if they do work for the Number One Pro. What are ya, some kind of secret billionaire princess?”
“Sadly no.” You say, digging into your evening bag to pull out a sleek, black card. “But I’m not the one who’s paying. And Endeavor did say to bid on a few items, ‘as a show of good faith.”
You end your sentence on a terrible impression of the Flame Hero, earning another snicker from the blonde as you place your bid. The pair of you wander the auction area for a while, gawking at the ludicrous prices and talking quietly. Or at least, as quietly as the blonde can manage. You fall into easy conversation, mainly discussing work in the hero world and Mic’s teaching career. Present Mic, or Hizashi as he prefers to be called, is a surprisingly eloquent speaker and his high-energy demeanor ensures there’s never a lull in the conversation. It’s honestly refreshing after dealing with the snooty, intense people you’re used to at the agency. Not to mention, he has no qualms about encouraging you to be a little mischievous when it comes to spending your boss’ money.
“How ‘bout that one?” He says, gesturing to a particularly gaudy piece of abstract art. “I think that would look rad on the big man’s mantlepiece, yeah?”
You giggle and lightly push against his arm, as mild punishment for his goofiness.
“No way. Endeavor specifically said to not bid on something too ‘distasteful.’ And I’m pretty sure that thing is towing the line. What’s it even supposed to be?”
“It kinda looks like All Might.” Hizashi offers, “If you stand really far away and squint. I don’t really know much about fine art. But I do know ‘distasteful’ and I’m tellin’ ya now, this aint it baby.”
“And what would you qualify as distasteful?”
A grin that can only be likened to the Cheshire Cat spreads across Hizashi’s handsome face.
“I’ll show you.” He says, extending a hand to you. You grab a hold and allow him to guide you towards one of the doors along the wall. As you get closer, you realize there are small placards inscribed with a number on each of the handles. Hizashi is currently leading you to a door marked with the number seventeen, opening it for you and allowing you to step inside ahead of him. You find yourself in a much smaller room, washed in the same dim lighting as the rest of the auction area. It’s just big enough for two people to stand inside (three if they’re thin), and the oak paneling and cramped quarters almost remind you of a confessional booth. But there’s no man of the cloth here; instead there’s a screen set into the farthest wall and a small, black button resting on a shallow shelf below it. The screen only displays a three-digit number, every so often flashing red before going back to the number.
“What the hell?” You breathe while stepping farther into the room, allowing Hizashi to squeeze in behind you.
“Welcome to the main event of the Heroes Gala.” He says, closing the door. “The Anonymous Auction.”
“The Anonymous Auction?” You parrot back quizzically, turning around to face the blonde.
“You’re aware that most of the Commission's funding comes from public taxes, yeah?” He asks, waiting for your nod before continuing. “Well taxpayer dollars can only go so far. Especially when hero and villain activity has only gone up over time. Rebuildin’ a city you just smashed like an old record ain't cheap you know.”
He pauses to jerk one thumb behind him.
“That’s why they started holdin’ auctions– this whole gala, really– in the first place. It’s all just a fancy way to supplement the Commission’s budget. And due to the popularity of the auctions, they started offering some more… exclusive items in recent years.”
“What do you mean by exclusive?”
Hizashi gives you another playful smirk, looking at you over the rim of his sunglasses.
“You’re a smart girl. What do you think it means?”
He steps a little closer to you and places his hands on your waist for emphasis, thumbing small circles at the swell of your hips. You unconsciously lean into his touch and your eyes flutter closed for a moment before snapping open once more, realization crashing over you like a tidal wave.
“You mean like sex stuff!?” You squeak bluntly, earning a laugh from the Voice Hero.
“Well not all of it! But there have been some bizarre and kinda risqué items up for sale in the past.”
“Such as?”
“Well, I know for a fact that Nemuri donates a part of her “collection” to the auction every year.” Hizashi states, putting air quotes around the term. “And rumor has it that last year All Might auctioned off a pair of his underwear. I don’t know about that one, but if that’s true, then it explains how UA paid for it’s new training grounds and why the staff got a nice Christmas bonus.”
You can’t help but giggle at the thought of some snobby billionaire drooling over a pair of All Might’s underwear. Maybe they’d had them framed, mounted on the wall like a hunting trophy. You’re too caught up in your ridiculous daydreaming to realize Hizashi has stepped even closer to you, not until you can feel his hands sliding a little further down your sides and a little farther behind you. You’re now chest to chest, breathing in tandem as he leans down to speak directly into your ear.
“So now that we’re in here… what do you say we play a little game?”
His voice is low and smooth, audial honey dripping into your brain. Your breath unconsciously catches in your throat as your body moves of its own accord to press closer to him. The energy between you is shifting palpably, from friendly strangers to something much more intimate and heavy. The room feels like it’s heating up and your dress suddenly feels much too snug.
“What kind of game?” You murmur back, a delicious shiver running down your spine when he hums in response.
“How ‘bout the quiet game?” He says, his bristly mustache tickling your cheek when he speaks. “But we’ll make it a little more interesting.”
You can feel him begin to gently push against you, forcing you to walk backwards until you feel the top of your tailbone bump into the low shelf. Hizashi’s hands never leave your body, roaming lower to finally settle on the plush curve of your ass. If anybody else was doing this, you’d have kneed them in the jewels and run for the nearest exit by now. But for some reason, you trust Hizashi. You want Hizashi. And if the steady throbbing in your core is any indication, you need Hizashi.
“Here’s the deal, babygirl.” He says, lifting his head to rest his forehead against your own. You can’t help the way your thighs tense at the pet name, something that definitely doesn't go unnoticed by the Voice Hero. “You’re going to try and stay as quiet as possible. And every time you get too noisy, you’re going to press that little button.”
His eyes flit over to the device in question before locking back on yours.
“That button raises your bid on whatever item is currently up for grabs. So the less noise you make, the less bids you make. And you wouldn’t want to end up winning something distasteful, yeah?”
You subtly shake your head and crack a small smile at his joke, bringing your hands up to rest on his clothed pecs. You’re surprised to feel powerful muscles rippling underneath his rented dress shirt, along with the heat rolling off of his body and the steady thrum of his heartbeat. Clearly that rented tux is doing nothing for his figure.
“Well what are you going to do?” You tease, running your hands up the plane of his chest and underneath the jacket to grip his broad shoulders. “Seems like I’m the only one playing this game of yours.”
One of his hands leaves your ass to hook a finger under your chin, forcing your head to tilt upwards. He gives you a sinfully wicked grin.
“Oh but that’s the best part, baby. I’m going to try and make you scream.”
Suddenly his lips are crashing into yours, sloppily at first but soon smoothing out into a steady push and pull. He takes your bottom lip between his teeth, biting gently before letting it spring back into place. You sigh into his mouth, a sound eagerly returned by the hero. Your nails dig into his shoulders, bunching the fabric of his shirt as he deepens the kiss. There’s tenderness in the kiss to be sure, but also a fierce dominance that has you fighting against the moans rising in your throat. Hizashi uses the shelf behind you to force and arch into your back before kissing his way down the sensitive column of your throat. He licks and sucks at your pulse point, not hard enough to leave marks but enough to remind you that he’s in control. You tuck your bottom lip between your teeth, even going so far as to clap a hand over your mouth when he gives a particularly sharp nip. He clicks his tongue against your skin, bringing up his free hand to pull yours away.
“Ah ah ah. No cheating, baby.” He says, moving farther down your chest until his chin rests between the supple swell of your breasts. “If you try to put yourself on mute again you’ll have to press that button regardless. Ya dig?”
You nod and he releases your hand, allowing you to curl your arm around and place it at the base of his neck. Pleased with your compliance, Hizashi hooks his thumbs under the straps of your dress and gently shrugs them off. The top half of your gown falls away, pooling around your waist as your breasts are fully exposed to the open air. They pebble and peak instantly, despite the perceived heat in the room, and you feel Hizashi’s hum of appreciation rumble through your sternum. His hands come up to cup them, indulging in their full weight and supple give as he squeezes them lightly. His head dips down to kiss your right breast, ghosting over the pert bud of your nipple as he places featherlight kisses around the areola. It’s maddening, far too light and teasing for your liking. The hand on the back of his neck suddenly fists in his hair and you pull him closer to you, squishing his nose against the pliant flesh.
“Damn baby. Feelin’ needy already, huh?” He chuckles against you, pulling away slightly to look up at you through half-lidded, golden lashes. You whine softly, still pulling his head closer to your body. Hizashi resumes fondling your breasts, taking one nipple into his mouth while using his thumb and forefinger to toy with the other. His tongue swirls around the sensitive nub, every deft twirl and brush mirrored by his fingers. It’s a blissful sensation, heating licking across your nerves and shooting straight to your core. Suddenly, he gives a particularly hard suck and pinch, pulling an involuntary gasp from you. You can feel his smug grin before you even look at him, and he pulls off your nipple with a soft pop.
“Strike one, princess. You know what you have to do.”
“I thought you said no cheating.” You whine, feeling the fresh slick coating your panties and relishing the lingering sting emanating from your nipples.
“It’s not cheating, it’s part of the game. Your job is to stay quiet, my job is to break the silence. Now are you going to play by the rules or not?”
You look over at the seemingly innocent button and furrow your brow. It’s only just dawned on you now that you have no idea what you’d be bidding on and a bolt of panic shoots through you. What if it was a piece from Nemuri’s collection? Or something worse! Hizashi, seeming to sense your trepidation, briefly raises his head up to plant a soothing kiss to your temple.
“Hey, we can stop if you wanna.” He says, removing his hands from your breasts to cup your cheeks. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I’m not gonna push ya.”
Your eyes bounce between the little black button and Hizashi’s face, biting your lip in your moment of indecision. It was a gamble for sure, a gamble that could easily cost you your job should you end up winning. But then again… how much humiliation and strain had your nightmare of a boss put you through in the past year? The past month? The past 24 hours? Taking a deep breath, you tentatively press the button, the screen behind you flashing green to signal the successful placement of your bid. Hizashi smiles down at you, impressed with your boldness.
“Fuck it.” You breathe, stretching up to press a chaste kiss against his lips. “I’m all in.”
Hizashi returns the kiss with interest before fully sinking to his knees, running one hand up the slit of your dress to rest on your exposed thigh.
“Okay then, baby.” He purrs, “I need you to spread your legs a little more for me. Lemme see what we’re workin’ with down here, yeah?”
You willingly comply, widening your stance as Hizashi sweeps the bottom half of the dress out of the way and tucks it behind you. The black, lacy thong you’d picked out for the occasion is soaked through, your essence already starting to coat your inner thighs. Hizashi runs one finger up your barely clothed slit, whistling when he feels how damp they are.
“Damn baby.” He breathes, almost like he’s in awe. “These are fucking ruined.”
You resume biting your lip when you feel two of his fingers hook underneath the material and pull it to the side, fighting against the urge to close your legs.
“Such a pretty girl…” Hizashi coos against you, planting a soft kiss to your right thigh before resting his head against it. “Everything about you is pretty.”
You can’t stop the blush that rises to your cheeks at the whispered praise, nor help the way your cunt clenches around nothing. It certainly doesn’t go unnoticed by the blonde as he leans in closer, using his thumbs to gingerly pry your labia apart. He looks up at you hungrily, pupils blown wide with desire as he tongue darts out to wet his lips.
“Hold on tight, baby.”
Hizashi uses the flat of his tongue to lick a hot stripe up your slit, letting out a low, filthy moan at the taste. You realize now why he gave you a warning. He’s using his quirk to amplify his moans tenfold, turning his mouth and tongue into the most attentive sex toy on Earth. The vibrations send shockwaves of pleasure coursing through your body, clouding your senses with desire. Whatever restraint the hero possessed dissolves the moment he tastes you, as he latches on to your rapidly swelling clit and sucks roughly. You gasp at the new sensation, hips unconsciously bucking to force his face further into you. He hums and willingly obeys your body’s command, replacing his mouth with a heavy thumb and delving his tongue between your folds to lap at your quivering entrance. The increase in intensity causes your thighs squeeze together, caging in the hero’s head as he dutifully tongue-fucks you. You can already feel an orgasm mounting deep in your core, his earlier teasing and stimulation paying off in spades. But his tongue isn’t enough, even with his quirk.
“M-More!” You cry out, unable to quell your pleading voice. “I need more. Need to cum. Please let me cum!”
Hizashi pinches the back of your thigh, a silent reminder for you to follow through with the rules of the game. With a groan you bring your hand down on the button, ignoring the flashing screen as you grind your hips down onto his face. But just when you’re about to tip over the edge, he pulls away from you, breathing heavily and his face coated in your sticky juices. You whimper at the loss of contact, but his hands keep your thighs spread apart to deny you the friction you seek.
“Good girl.” He pants, still swirling his thumb over your aching pearl. “So good for me, baby.”
“Then why’d you stop?” You softly moan, tears of frustration pricking at the corners of your eyes. You’d been so close.
“Because,” he says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “The only way I want you to cum is on my cock.”
Before you can fully register his words, he grabs you by the hips and flips you around, pulling your dress up and bunching it in one fist. Your panties are roughly yanked down around your ankles and you have to brace yourself against the shelf as you feel the hard bulge of Hizashi’s pants rub against your bared ass. A sharp smack to one cheek causes you to yelp, and a quick smack to the other forces you to bring your hand down on the button.
“Cheater.” You pant, earning a dark chuckle for the man behind you.
“Name-calling are we now, baby? Just for that, you don’t get to cum until I say so. Understood?”
You nod quickly, glancing behind you when you feel him start to fiddle with his belt and zipper. Your eyes widen when you see his painfully erect cock spring free: long, thick, and with a silver ring adorning the reddened tip. He gives the length a few short pumps, coaxing out a pearly bead of precum that quickly winds its way around the Prince Albert piercing.
“I think someone likes what she sees.” He says coyly, flicking one finger against the metal for emphasis. “Ever been with a pierced guy before?”
You shake your head and Mic smirks.
“Then trust me. You’re gonna love this, babygirl.”
He lines the head up with your entrance and starts to slowly push into you, the initial stretch causing you to hiss in pain. But the burn soon melts into pleasure as Hizashi buries himself to the hilt, bottoming out with a grunt of his own. You can feel the metal ring bumping against your cervix already, a low moan escaping when he gives a few shallow thrusts.
“Good girl. Takin’ me so well. So tight and perfect.” He mutters breathlessly, voice barely above a whisper. The praise makes you whimper and clamp down on his cock, earning a moan of pleasure from Hizashi. He starts to move in earnest, pumping in and out of you at a steady pace. Each forward thrust pushes your face closer to the wall, your breasts brushing back and forth across the cool wooden shelf and stimulating your pebbled nipples.Your mind is floating in a haze of hedonistic bliss as the air around you fills with the sounds of slapping skin and the scent of sex. You can already feel your orgasm racing towards you at a breakneck speed, the coil in your belly tightening with each thrust. Hizashi suddenly sinks his teeth into your right shoulder with a an almost feral growl, blunted teeth nearly piercing the skin. You squeal at the brilliant pain, only to feel his tongue lave over the forming welts, soothing them. You automatically bring your hand down on the button and his pace quickens in response, rewarding you by maneuvering his hips until he finds the spot that makes your vision go white and your mind go blank.
“Th-th-there!” You sputter out, smacking the button before instinctually backing into him. You don’t give a damn about your boss or the money anymore. All you can focus on right now is chasing your own mind-numbing pleasure. He gives a hum of acknowledgement and straightens up, angling his thrusts to hit that spot every time. He can feel the way your walls flutter and shiver, right on the edge of release.
“That’s it, babygirl.” He grunts, licking the pad of his fingers before reaching below your bodies to find your clit. Slender digits rubs tight circles on the swollen bead, the rough touch making you almost sob in relief. “Cum for me. Cum all over my cock!”
It’s a demand, one that your body is more than ready to obey. With one final circle of his thumb, the pressure snaps and you cry out in toe-curling ecstasy. It feels like your entire body locks up from the intensity of your orgasm and Hizashi gives a cry of his own when he feels the way your pussy clamps down on him like a vise. He forgoes gentleness in favor of animalistic rutting, gripping your hips to set a brutal and unforgiving pace. His cockhead and piercing continually slam into your g-spot and cervix, lengthening your own orgasm to an almost unbearable extent.
“Shit.” He curses, pistoning into you like a rabbit while his balls slap against your clit. “I’m fuckin’ close. Where do you want it?”
“Cum in me!” You wail, the game forgotten as fireworks explode behind your eyes. “Please! Hizashi! I need it.”
Hearing you beg so sweetly for him snaps what little composure he had left. Hizashi lets loose a guttural howl and after a few harsh thrusts, his hips stutter to a halt. You can feel his cock pulsing deep within you, filling you up with rope after rope of thick, white seed. He stays inside you for a moment, breathing heavily and feeling the way your velvety walls throb around his length. Your body feels hot and heavy, head swimming as you gradually come down from the high. Eventually, Present Mic pulls his spent dick from your abused hole, pausing to admire the way his cum oozes out and drips onto the wood floor before pulling your panties back up. Your legs might as well be made of jelly for how useful they are right now, wobbling on your stilettos as you hold onto the shelf for dear life.
“That…” You pant, “That was good. So good.”
“Yeah?” Hizashi says behind you, tucking himself back into his trousers before smoothing one hand up and down your exposed back. His gentle touch causes goosebumps to rise on your skin, your nerves still overly sensitive.
“Yeah.” You breathe, “I needed that.”
Hizashi smirks and leans down to pepper kisses along your shoulder blades, basking in the afterglow alongside you. You practically melt under his affections, never wanting this tender, warm feeling to end.
“Can you stand?” He asks after a few minutes and you weakly nod. Carefully, he helps you stand upright, brushing a few stray pieces of hair behind your ear while you fix your dress and cover your chest once more. Hizashi then moves to fix his own half-bun, smirking at the way you’re dreamily looking up at him.
“Hey space cadet.” He teases, tapping the tip of your nose with one finger. “Come back to Earth for me, will ya? We better get outta here before your nanny cow calls the cops. Or worse, Endeavor.”
You blink slowly and hum in agreement, lazily looking over at the button one last time. And then you freeze. A new message is scrolling across the screen:
Congratulations! You have won lot #114. Please collect your prize.
“Oh my god…” You whisper, feeling your blissful headspace drown under an icy wave of fear. “Oh my god, NO! What the fuck did I just do?”
“Hm?” Hizashi turns to the screen and it’s too-cheerful message. “Oh! Well wouldja look at that?”
“Why are you being so calm about this!?” You shriek, grabbing him by the lapels of the tuxedo and frantically shaking him. “My boss is going to kill me! I have no idea what I– what he just bought! It could be a dildo in the shape of All Might’s dick for all I know!”
“Hey, hey! Chill out, baby!” Hizashi says, placing both hands on your shoulders to steady you. “Just breathe for me, okay? Nice and slow. You didn’t buy anything like that, I promise.”
“How do you know?” You squeak, trying not to hyperventilate.
“Because I know exactly what they were auctioning off with that lot number.”
“Then spare me the dramatics and spit it out, Hizashi! What did I just win!?”
“... Me.”
The world seems to stop for a moment as you stare up at Hizashi’s sheepish face. You open and close your mouth like a goldfish, your overloaded brain trying to find the right words to say. It settles on a neanderthalic, “Huh?”
“You won me.” He repeats, “Well not forever anyways. Just for 24 hours.”
“I don’t understand. Are you trying to be funny?”
“I’m dead serious, baby! The Anonymous Auction doesn’t just offer material stuff. People can bid on and win “dates” with Pro Heroes. The more popular the Pro, the more money comes in. I volunteered to do it this year since a couple of my buddies did it last year.”
You blink slowly, allowing your panicky brain to process this new information.
“So… is that why you brought me here? Because you knew it was time for the bidding to start on your date?”
“I swear, I had no idea.” Hizashi says, crossing an X over his heart for emphasis. “I just wanted a chance to talk to you more and get ya away from that creep of a partner you came with. It was honestly just a lucky coincidence.”
“And the quiet game?”
“I came up with that on the fly when I saw my lot number on the screen. But I didn’t expect you to actually win the auction. And if you don’t wanna go through with this because of your boss or me, then I totally get it. You can always defer to the second highest bidder. That kinda thing happens all the time.”
You step back from Hizashi and turn away, muttering a quick, “Give me a minute.”
Looking past the insanity of the situation, you had to admit you were a little impressed, even grateful, for Hizashi’s scheme. He’d saved you from dealing with Buru, at least for a little while, and made sure you had a fun time doing it. And besides, it’s not like you weren’t attracted to the man. Sure he was loud and goofy, but he was also sweet and charismatic. Not to mention a damn good lay.
“... Okay.” You say after a few moments of thought, snapping your attention back to Hizashi. “Here’s what I want to do.”
You hold up one finger.
“First of all, I want to find a bathroom and get myself cleaned up. This is a nice dress and I don’t want it to get stained, if you catch my drift.”
Hizashi nods in understanding. You put up a second finger.
“Secondly, I’m absolutely starving. So I want to get some water and food. And maybe a glass of champagne.”
Hizashi cracks a smile at that, giving a chuckle of “You got it, baby.”
“And finally,” You say, stepping forward to grab Hizashi by the front of his jacket and pull him in for a kiss. “I want to collect my prize.”
#hizashi yamada#hizashi x reader#bnha#mha#bnha x reader#hizashi yamada x reader smut#mha x reader#citrus dome collab
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So, I’ve been thinking: where do the characters of the smp actually fit in the morality spectrum?
We’re all always pointing out how everyone is “morally gray” in the smp, but it’s not too hard to see that the level is different in different characters, for example: Puffy’s light griefing when she first arrived on the smp is in no way comparable to Dream blowing up a country 3 times... so how about we take an objective look through this characters actions?
First let’s establish what are the categories we’ll be talking about:
Morally gray characters: they are the intermediate between a villain and a hero. They are neither wholly bad nor good.
Anti-Hero: someone who may perform moral actions but always for selfish reasons. Basically morally gray but with bad intentions.
Anti-villain: someone whose desired ends are mostly good, but their means of getting there range from evil to undesirable. Basically they think they have good intentions, but they’re actually villains.
Sympathetic villain: an immoral character who’s backstory/character arc makes them sympathetic to the viewers. We can’t agree with their actions, but we can understand how they got there.
This is more or less the spectrum we will be moving in, as it would actually be rather hard to define anyone in the smp as a classic black and white hero or villain (with 1 exception). Also I believe we all kind of understand what the definitions for those terms are.
In this I will be only going over the characters I know the most about as there are way too many people and, I’m afraid, it’s impossible for me to cover everyone properly as I would need to watch their povs. Anyone though feel free to add on to this!
Also I won’t be going in any precise order because that would take more effort then I’m willing to put in, so here we go:
Tommyinnit: He is a bit of a trouble-maker. He has been involved in the most conflicts out of everyone in the server (although he didn’t start the big majority of them). He has griefed, stolen and caused a whopping total of 3 canon deaths (1 to Jack Manifold and 2 to Dream). He has however sacrified himself multiple times for his friends (both literally and by giving up his possessions) and he apologized and tried to make amends for his worse actions. He is mischevious but he also often proved that he can be very selfless. No doubt he earns a morally gray stamp.
Willbur: He is a difficult one because of the big split between his character pre and post election. That said, while Willbur was rather power-hungry before the election he also was very caring for those under him (sometimes slipping into being downright demeaning towards Fundy). He upheald his principle of “words over violence” and mostly wanted to build a peaceful nation. After the election however (because of his declining mental health) he did turn to violence and manipulation and ended up blowing up his own country. So I’d say he went from a morally gray character to a very sympathetic villain
Ghostbur: This one is being considered separatedly from Willbur, as it has been said multiple times that they are separate entities. Ghostbur, you would think, has never done anything bad in his life, he has however hurt some people. He refused to have an actual talk with Fundy or with anyone really when it comes to what Alivebur did, hurting them as a consequence and while they are separate entities, they’re still very much connected. His intentions in general though are good, he just wants everyone to be happy, he just doesn’t realize his incapacity to fully understand other people’s struggles can hurt them at times. He has however never intentionally caused harm to anyone and tried to help whenever he did so unintentionally. He lacks the qualities that would make him a “hero” but he’s morally good
Tubbo: While people in this fandom have a tendency to portray him as a poor innocent bean he’s not entirely squeacky clean himself. He steals regularly, he has partook in Techno’s scuffed execution attempt and organized a festival with the clear intention of killing Dream. He has however, more often then not, done what he thought was right and what he felt he needed to do in order to protect his people. Even now he’s built a safe heaven away from everyone because he wanted a safe place for anyone wh needed it. So there you go, morally gray stamp of approval.
Techno: And here I already know there will be some contentione... oh boy... anyway! Techno undoubtedly thinks he’s always doing the right thing. He thinks that destroying the governament was the only way to get rid of corruption. He thinks he’s doing something good. He has however released weapons of mass destruction (aka withers) in L’Manburg 3 time, caused the most canon deaths in the server (yep, more then Dream) and he’s been manipulative (wether intentionally or not doesn’t really matter here). In general he’s caused so much pain to so many people that it cannot go ignored. For this reasons he gets an anti-villain stamp
Phil: He’s also one of the characters deserving of a split, in his case it’s pre and post Techno’s attempted execution. Pre execution he was a mostly uninvolved member of L’Manburg, he did however help greatly with the rebuilding and tried to give a family to Fundy when he realised he needed one. He did also kill Willbur. ater the execution however he joined Techno in committing atrocities for what he percieved to be something good (”teaching how bad governament is” was his perceived goal). So I’d say he went from morally gray to joining Techno in the anti-villain gang
Quackity: He is a very complex character and I’m sure opinions about him are rather split. He joined the election to insure it’s fairness. He stayed by Shlatt’s side to try and make the governament fair until he realised that he would never be litened to and then he joined Pogtopia to take down a tyrant. He tried to protect L’Manburg in every way he could, but did get carried away with the attemted execution and the festival, even arriving to suggesting executing Ranboo. Now he wants to build capitalism and is trying to fight the Egg in his own way. He is the definition of a morally gray character
Ranboo: Another split opinion incoming here! Ranboo does mostly have good intentions (at least in his non-enderwalk state, which we won’t talk about here, because there still isn’t enough lore about it to understand it). He would like to have a united server with no conflicts. In trying to achieve this however, as he noticed himself, he actually went against every single one of the people he cares about: not sticking up for Tommy at the trial, assisting with Phil’s arrest and Techno’s execution, giving back Techno’s weapons and armour with no fight and, in general, giving him resources, helping to plan the Green Festival and so on so forth. That said all this things are “bad” from one side but “good” from the other. He has also kept company to Tommy in exile more then anyone else and he was there in the final fight against Dream. In conclusion he gets a morally gray stamp as well
Punz: Punz fights for money and his own self interest. He showed before that his alliance was with those who paid him, even though he actually seemed to care and consider Dream his friend until a certain point. He fought in a few wars but was never overly involved in the petty conflicts. He did however end up being the reason Dream was defeated (athough that was also for money). This was also before the Egg’s corruption as we won’t be considering that as part of the character since, you know, the Egg literally mind-controls people... anyway he gets to be in the anti-hero club
Sam: The warden of the prison is someone with a great work ethic (though he doesn’t seem to care much were the money are coming from once a project gets commissioned to him) and a very kind individual, always ready to offer pumpkin pie or his help to anyone who seems to need it. He’s also building a bank with the express purpouse of building an economy to take control over the server... he is morally gray as well is what I’m trying to say here
And, our final one:
Dream: This man also actually needs a split to better understand him, and that split is before and after he received the necromancy book from Shlatt. Before that he started a few conflicts (Declaring war on L’manburg and the whole railway skirmish thing) nut in general he had mostly sound objectives. Toward the start he didn’t want trouble in his server and he went to extreme leghts to ensure there wouldn’t be any (stealing Tommy’s disks, the whole declaring war etc). He did try and help Pogtopia at the start for this very same reson, because he was hoping that the two indipendent factions would cancel out each other. At one point however the objective in his actions seems to have shifted between wanting to obtain unity for the server to wanting to obtain control for himself. It’s after this shift happened that he committed his most heinous crimes (blowing up L’manburg other 2 times and all the manipulation that went on). After the shift there is not a single redeeming thing he did. He went from an almost anti-villain to a straight up villain, he is, in fact, the only one aside from the Egg that I’m willing to deine as a true villain.
#dream smp#/rp#character analysis#tommyinnit#tubbo#wilbur soot#dreamwastaken#awesamdude#punz#ranboo#philza minecraft#technoblade#quackity#and I believe that's all the ones I talked about#god this was long#long post#if anyone wants to add on with other charcaters feel free#I know I haven't added a lot of them#but I didn't feel like I knew enough about other characters to give them a fair analysis
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What do you think Spud and Trixie's lives are like in their twenties? Are they regularly interacting with the magical world and helping out whoever needs it on their own without Jake since they've been involved in magic stuff since middle school, or do they only get involved when Jake stops by?
I think they’d have a few contacts in the magical world beyond Jake and his family by then--they’ve probably figured out how to use the Pixie Post for anything magically sensitive, if nothing else--but don’t get swallowed up in dragon business nearly as often as they used to. Not at first, anyway. They aren’t in the same city as Jake anymore, not even in the same city as each other, going off to college or to earn enough money for it, and for a while, it would seem like they’re dropped back into the normal world. The magical creatures don’t know them from any other humans and would keep as low a profile as they ever do.
But Trixie and Spud have seen too much to brush off what most people would brush off.
Trixie knows perfectly well what a sewer troll sounds like. She knows perfectly well what a struggle sounds like. Really, she should have walked away. A sane person would have walked away. But Jake can’t be everywhere at once, so she poked her nose in where it didn’t belong, offered help, and ducked the flying projectile on instinct.
Spud isn’t exactly a connoisseur of, well, anything, at least in his opinion, but he knows leprechaun gold when he sees it, even if he has no idea how the kid in his comp sci class got his hands on some. If the kid knew what it was, he didn’t let on, and even though he was more than a bit of a braggart, Spud decided to do some digging and get involved. He hadn’t known it would end with him breaking up a smuggling ring. He didn’t mean to do Jake’s job for him. It just sort of happened.
It’s not a regular thing. They don’t seek it out, and the quiet spells can last for weeks, sometimes months at a time. They don’t have access to any magical healing potions or anything else, and they’ve got papers due and work they can’t afford to be fired from or they’ll have a hard time making rent, and they just don’t have time to run around every night like they had in middle school and high school. It’s hard enough to have something resembling a social life as it is, let alone when you’re trying to hide a wounded pixie who likes to swear a blue streak and otherwise attract attention despite begging with them to just be quiet.
But while the magical community as a whole might be big, the individual ones that spring up? Not so much. Which means Trixie and Spud slowly become known as time goes on. They each become the Human Who Can Be Trusted where they live, the Human Who Knows, and then they start seeing even more than they did before.
It leads to a more active life on the periphery of the magical world than is particularly good for their grades (or pocketbook, particularly where health insurance and clothes are concerned), but it comes in fits and bursts, and they can make do. It’s never enough for them to call Jake about. It’s never enough that they can’t handle it, that they have to drag him away from whatever important Am Drag Business he must be doing.
Which is why Fu is the first one to find out about all of this, not Jake.
Information is valuable, and it can be wagered in a poker game as easily as anything more material is traded. A human who knows about the Magical World, who managed to escape the notice of the Dragon Council and thus has been able to keep knowing? When Fu first catches wind of this, he’s concerned. Humans knowing is bad, for everyone. And when he finds out it’s not just one person, but two? He’s even more alarmed. How many other people have they missed?
It’s not until he starts bartering for more information that he realizes who the humans are.
Fu tells Jake, and then Jake makes a point of going to visit Trixie and Spud in person and talking to them about this. Because, yes, he appreciates the help, he really does, but he really doesn’t want them getting hurt or getting in trouble for doing his job. Which they agree with, wholeheartedly, because being alive and whole is what they want, too, thank you very much.
Except, after Jake’s visit, it gets out that these humans know the American Dragon.
And then everything gets so much worse for Trixie and Spud, because now there are magical creatures turning up wherever they can in their everyday lives, asking Trixie and Spud to petition the American Dragon for something on their behalf, or to convince him to grant them an audience, or--
The first time Trixie gets kidnapped, she fights her way out.
The first time Spud gets kidnapped, he tricks his way out.
The second time they get kidnapped, it’s by someone who knows about both of them and planned to use them accordingly. Jake finds out and gets involved, and it was messier than it should have been, but everyone got out in one piece, except for a couple of hobgoblins who were missing some a few minor bits like a finger or an ear. Jake wants to put a protective detail on them, and Spud makes jokes about magical witness protection, but Trixie just rolls her eyes and says that she applied to transfer schools, heading halfway across the country, and this time, she won’t get involved. Spud agrees to wear a protective charm until he’s finished his degree, not wanting to uproot when he got into a really good program in a really good university, and then he moves, too, to a place where the local magical community doesn’t know who he is, just like Trixie did.
They still get involved. They aren’t that good at not getting involved. But they are very, very careful not to let anyone know that they’re friends with the American Dragon, or that they’re the same humans involved in that debacle on the East Coast, and they tell a different backstory to every creature who asks about how they found out about everything. It’s a bit of a game, but it’s a less dangerous one than they used to play.
And if Spud gets a few spells out of it that preserves the freshness of ingredients and casts it on the food at the restaurant whenever he’s home for a visit, well, that’s just a bonus.
And if Trixie can make a few connections and earn some favours that will help her pull enough strings to get both her parents time off at the same time, well, that’s worth a bit of minor involvement, on the side.
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❝ my friend’s cousin’s best friend used to work as one of his maids and she said that his step-mom used to pay him to keep her affair with his uncle a secret ❞ JORDAN CHAMBERS , who resembles KEITH POWERS and is the PRESIDENT of BETA TAU RHO , is TWENTY-TWO years old and responds to HE / HIM . 𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘫𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘦 ; 𝘴𝘩𝘦 / 𝘩𝘦𝘳 .
what up, i’m julie, hailing from the gmt-5 tz & i’ve been out all day , so i’ve been unfortunately been a little late to the party buuuut i am here now & i am so excited to share jordan with you all !
BASICS :
full name — jordan dominic chambers . preferred — jordan . nickname — jd . titles — captain and power forward of the mens’ kingshill basketball team && . president of beta tau rho . dob — august first nineteen ninety eight . astrological sign — leo . hometown — new york city , new york . current residence — kingshill , new york .
MAIN BACKGROUND :
the nineties’ basketball scene was dominated by the six time nba champion chicago bulls and one of the greatest men to ever play the game, jay chambers, led the charge. jordan’s father couldn’t go anywhere in the country without being flocked by fans, in awe of the six nine legend in the making .
unfortunately, this came to a halting stop when jay suffered a career ending neck injury that would forever change his life . coupled with an unwanted pregnancy with darling socialite carolina blair , within a year , jay went from basketball hotshot to stiff businessman and father . a shotgun wedding meant financial stability in working with the blairs’ insurance company, which jay needed with no job and years of wasting millions on partying and luxuries with an expiry date .
neither parent really wanted jordan and it showed through the revolving cycle of nannies filling their roles . even with hours on hand to think about it , jordan would not be able to share one heartfelt anecdote from his childhood involving either of them .
new york city will always be jordan’s home , his birth place , even through his years of european boarding schools and californian summer camps .
basketball came naturally to jordan ( no surprise ) and it was one summer after returning from boarding school , where he had learned the sport , when he learned who his father was . he’d been bothering his father all day to come out of his office to show off his new skills , when he’d been barked at for picking up a basketball at all .
at first , the last thing jordan wanted was to upset anybody , so he stayed away from the sport at first . however , as the years went on , his resentment towards his parents and especially his father grew , and so , continued playing basketball out of spite . he was damn good at it .
his mother paid for his basketball camps and programs , since she was always so willing to throw money at jordan to make him go away . he will claim to this day that he found himself through the sport , as it taught him the abundant rewards of diligence and how to be a leader. basketball made a man out of him , something his family never did .
she left jordan’s father when he was fourteen and that point , he didn’t have any shits left to give . they barely had a relationship , which was honestly better than the hostility that jordan’s father showed him , but it wasn’t enough for any tears to be shed when she declared she didn’t want custody . meanwhile , his father accumulated enough status and wealth to branch off from his ex wife’s company and form his own .
this meant nothing to jordan , though , because as long as he kept getting his allowance and freedom , there wasn’t a change to begin with . he was used to getting paid by his parents for the little things , like a new car when he didn’t bother his mother for an entire month or when his father sent him on a “vacation” to the maldives with his friends for christmas break . even his new step mom gifted him exclusive sneakers when he put in a good word for her to some tabloid that followed jay chambers’ new marriage . however , he drew the line when his parents asked him to attend kingshill .
jordan dreamed of making it as a professional basketball player . not only that , but he was en route to it , having scouts watch him since the beginning of high school . he’d played at the national level and won gold on endless occasions , in addition to mvp trophies and other accolades. by senior year , all of the top d1 schools and agents came knocking on his door .
despite his parents’ divorce , their two companies continued to work closely together and saw jordan as their sole heir . therefore , they needed him to be groomed by the best school that money could offer and they saw kingshill as the perfect and only match .
everyone wonders why jordan has turned his back on the draft for three years running . he clearly loves the game of basketball and is one of the most hard working people you’d ever meet , a born star on the court . instead , he’s a senior in his business administration major and despite the charming smile and affinity for partying , is miserable .
jordan chambers is a little more than intimidating , due to his naturally abrasive attitude , his six seven stature and rumours that have floated around his name since freshman year. after all , it’s safe to say that he’s gone a little bit more than wild since first stepping foot onto campus . whether it’s lashing out at his parents or his own development of a coping mechanism , beta tau rho’s incredible partying legacy has lived on because of jordan . work hard ��, play hard , and you’ve officially become a beta tau rho brother.
PERSONALITY :
all in all , jordan is a little bit too much . his ego is a little too big , cares more than he should , his bad habits are a little too intense , and he works harder than anyone else .
as mentioned before , he tends to be intimidating upon first impression and usually rubs people the wrong way . he’s learned to become stoic and cold over the years when dealing with other people of the same wealth , afraid to be used or manipulated by showing anything that could be used against him .
while jordan is a man of few words, he is quippy and sharp when he does speak . his charm is subtle and dry , a blink-and-you’ll-miss that part of him type thing .
unsurprisingly , jordan keeps a small circle . he loves beta tau rho because they all understand the value of hard work and constantly improving yourself , which is why he genuinely cares deeply for his fraternity brothers and would probably do anything for them , even if he doesn’t seem like the type . he will always help his friends , no questions asked , and would do anything in his power to do so . since he has been mostly independent for as long as he can remember , jordan cherishes moments when he can spend time with people that he cares about .
though not particularly passionate about school , jordan is ambitious . he strives for greatness in everything he does , no matter how small . he will stop at nothing to achieve his goals , sometimes even unknowingly jeopardizing his relationships in the process.
obviously , he loves partying . jordan always cared about his body and health because of basketball , but since coming to kingshill and having his vision of making it in the nba tarnished , he’s loosened his old ‘ no binge drinking , no drugs rule ’ up a bit . he may or may not blackout every weekend . he may or may not smoke a little too much weed . some things simply cannot be helped .
WANTED CONNECTIONS :
i have this page up , but i'm always down to brainstorm ! especially since my wc page is hella under construction whoops but yes throw your ideas at me omg like this post and i'll come to u!
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MAY 2021
The Rib Page
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George Takei is sweatin’ with the oldies. He stars in a fitness app for gay seniors, Bar Belles. It was his April Fool’s day joke.
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Fox will bring us Crime Scene Kitchen on May 26 with host Joel McHale.
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Joel Hodgson has launched a new kick starter to create a new independent season of MTS3K, The goal is $2mil.
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Bob Odenkirk will release: Comedy, comedy, comedy, drama: A Memoir on Jan. 18 2022
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Leslie Jones will host the 2021 MTV Awards.
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$3 mil was raised for Next for Autism with help from Conan, Kimmel, Charlize, Chris Rock, Jack Black and Sarah Silverman.
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Have ya noticed that Gayle King looks great in yellow.
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Some people are not too happy that Elon Musk will host SNL on May 8. Miley Cyrus is the musical guest.** Musk tweeted: Let’s find out just how live SNL really is. Cast member Bowen Yang tweeted back, : What the Fuck does this even mean?
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Oh Seth Meyers: Every time I see the sea captain on your show, I miss him so much!!
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There is a spotlight on Foxconn which made a big splash for Trump at the start of his presidency. The company has done a lot of nothing but still gets tax cuts. Homes were demolished, roads were widened to nowhere and money was spent. Wisconsinites are upset that this big business is just folly and a big glass orb.
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Mike Lindell is a kook but he did try to appear to be a good sport on Kimmel.
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When will weed be legal on a federal level? When will drug testing for employment be illegal? We hear so much about personal rights with the gun laws and vaccines and masks. What about the right to do what we want with our bodies when we are not at work. Think of the administrative costs that could be saved if we just removed drug testing. Our experience and work ethic should mean more that what we do with our free time. This is not a problem at all companies. There are places in this country where it is near impossible anywhere in your area to get hired without a drug screening. One joint on a random Saturday night could keep someone from a great opportunity. A person in pain who reaches for an edible might miss out on the job that saves their lives.
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NASA sent the first flight to another planet. The Mars flight made history with the 30 sec feat.
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What? The Menendez brothers are popular again? From the Ramsey case to the Manson murders or Bundy, it all comes back around again.
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The Lizzie Borden house just sold for $2mil to Lance Zaal of U. S. Ghost Adventures.
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Quarantine and so much television et al proves one thing, the pharmaceutical and insurance companies have way too much $.
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Trump told everyone to boycott Coke and is later seen drinking diet Coke.** Trump sent out a statement about how bad the Oscars are. They threw it right back in his face. ** Federal agents have searched Giuliani’s Manhattan apartment. It stems from the 2 year investigation into activities in Ukraine.
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X-VP Pence is said to have pressured the Navy to reinstate former Mo. Gov. Eric Greitens. Greitens was accused of tying up, blindfolding, taking explicit photos of and blackmailing a woman.
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There is a crisis in schools with the lack of civics and history being taught.
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Hulk Hogan was hit with a chorus of Boo’s at his latest event.
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The latest sexual harassment news: Matt Gaetz is being looked into for sex with a minor and sex trafficking. Bill Barr opened the investigation.** Tom Reed has been accused of sexual misconduct by former lobbyist, Nicolette Davis.** Marilyn Manson has been sued by Game of Thrones, Esme Bianco for sexual abuse.
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What is going on with Bank of America? I am hearing from multiple people that often they do not get their statement in the mail. Is this a bad Postal service? Is this bad business practice? How many late fees had to be paid because of this? Not everybody wants to pay their bills online.
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Jack Hanna has revealed that he has dementia.
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Tiny Tim : King for a day is a new doc I must see. The film contains footage shot from Warhol’s Factory. There are excerpts from Tim’s diary read by Weird Al Yankovic and the story of how Tiny’s friend, Bob Dylan wanted to make a film with him.
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Lindsay Lohan’s Father, Michael has been charged with 5 counts patient brokering and 1 count of attempted patient brokering. This is an apparent scam of steering addicts into rehab for cash.
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Aaron Sorkin and Paulina Porizkova are dating. Pete Davidson and Phoebe Dynevor are dating.
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JB Smoove has a new podcast brought to you by TeamCoco.
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Hey.. People working on the new Law and Order: Organized Crime….. TOO MUCH MELONI!!
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Zach Avery, actor, was arrested for his participation in a $690 mil Ponzi scheme.
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President Biden has restored aid to the Palestinians.
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MLB put up a wall in Georgia but the Masters stayed.
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Hank Azaria has brought Brockmire to a new podcast.
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Tommy Chong isn’t allowed on FB because of his weed posts but they allow an imposter to use his name to sell weed.
Pennsylvania is trying to push thru 14 voter suppression bills.
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Joe Manchin. Ugh!!** Marjorie Taylor- Greene has let go of her America First caucus.** Ted Cruz has allegedly used $154, 000 of his campaign funds to buy up copies of his book to boost sales. This is an old trick but still illegal.
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For the first time, The Carter Center became involved in a U.S. election. They published videos and live webcasts as well as deploying observers across Georgia.
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Most health programs in Uganda, Nigeria and Ethiopia have resumed after Covid.** Tom Vilsack from the Dept. of Agriculture has announced the USDA will provide assistance to 30 million kids.** It is sad to me that we have to entice people to vaccinate. Football games, Church’s and shot for shot in bars?? Really? Saving the lives of others should be enough. WTF?
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Alec Baldwin, Alec Mapa and Kelsey Grammer are shopping around a new comedy that ABC decided to pass on.
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Chauvin was found guilty.
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Days alert: C’mon Ben, calm the fuck down! Don’t prove how out of control you are like everybody thinks. ** Xander is so funny right now.** How many people will Kristen be and how many times can one person melt down?? **Bring Carrie back!! **Jackee’ seemed a bit nervous in the beginning but she is fitting right in. More!
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The SAG awards came and went. With the Trial of the Chicago 7 winning best ensemble, Michael Keaton is the first person to be in 3 best casts for SAG’s.** Other winners include Viola Davis, Chadwick Boseman, Daniel Kaluuta, Youn Yuh-Jung, Mark Ruffalo, Anya Taylor- Joy, Jason Bateman, Catherine O’Hara, Schitt’s Creek and The Crown.
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The Oscars were held on April 25. It was a bit of a yawner and why would a show set themselves up for an awkward end?? There was a commercial from P&G right before the broadcast that stated, “ Widen the screen so we can widen our view.” Nice sentiment. Mank had so many noms and only 2 wins. People looking their best to me were Leslie Odom Jr., Glenn Close, Riz Ahmed, LaKeith Stanfield, Colman Domingo, John Batiste, Mia Neal, Questlove (gold crocs and a mask!), Desmond Roe, Travon Free, Trish Summerville, Marlee Matlin, The Lucas Brothers, Andra Day, Carey Mulligan, Amanda Seyfried, Nicolette Robinson, Regina King and Margot Robbie. Laura Dern looked like Big Bird, there were just too many feathers. Tiara Thomas had feathers but they looked great. Angela Bassett had some power sleeves and Tyer Perry looked like a little boy. Hooray for Emerald Fennell for her win for original screenplay but not sure about the dress. And Viola Davis?? Dana Murray?? Ashley Fox?? Hmm?? Winners seemed to have trouble getting to the stage. They often refused the steps or the walkway and sort of climbed up the side. I did love the intimate setting and it did remind me of the old clips of years before. Sound of metal and Ma Rainey both won. Tyler Perry and for the first time, an organization, the motion picture and television fund, took home the humanitarian award. I was thrilled to see My Octopus Teacher win for Doc. I loved Crip Camp too, that was a hard category. The acting winners went in all directions. Many critics complained that the films were real downers . Nomadland won best picture. Michael Moore put it best I think. Of the films this year, he said, “They force you to look backward with 2021 eyes.”
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Why the Fuck do we need a militarized police force?
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R.I.P. victims of the multiple mass shootings, victims of police shootings, the crush in Israel, Cosette Brown, Midwin Charles, DMX, Paul Ritter, Ethel Gabriel, G. Gordon Liddy, Buddy Peppenschmidt, Prince Philip, Anne Beatts, Diane Adler, Vartan Gregorian, Monte Hellman, Jim Steinman, Michael Collins, Michael wolf Snyder, Johnny Crawford, Eli Broad and Walter Mondale.
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Well.
I managed to survive your horrid lowfolk holiday relatively unscathed, no thanks to the perfidy of certain individuals whom I won't name. You know who you are.
And so do I.
For now, let's continue on with the story. Where did Typantronn get you up to? Let's see ... I was parleying with Ash Marten and he was making ridiculous statements about my enemies and how he could help them get to me, so I called his bluff and asked him to elaborate on the subject more fully. We stared at each other for a while, until I thought he was playing some strange form of Frontgammon - and then suddenly:
"Of course," Ash grinned as his jovial manner suddenly returned. "I would be happy to list off your enemies. You should have done this yourself. It is something that will be an absolute necessity if you wish to rule an empire someday. Surely you don't believe for a moment that Queen Edessa is your only enemy? What about the Duchess of Daisies, Bonsai and his Shrub Knights, the Vulpitanians, the rabbit village, or the entire population of Faerie? Even your former allies are turning on you. Did you forget that your former mentor tried to kill you not long ago? It wasn't your plea of innocence that convinced Estvan to stop; it was when you took his walking stick and threatened him with it as a bargaining chip. Another example: That opossum body guard you used to have, the last time you met he helped you despite the Duchess's wishes. He has a family. According to my contacts when O'Daisies were still doing business out here, the Duchess found out about Lemmy's little slip. Who is he more likely to strike out against, the Duchess or you? You've been safe out here only because all the forces that worked against you believed you to be harmless. That's not entirely true anymore, is it? As minuscule and slow to build as it is, your hair cult is a shuffling inch in the right direction. Would they see you as truly harmless if they realized you were slowly building influence and resources? Of course they would be wiser to strike while you are still small and weak. I only have to say the right words to the right people, and the word spreads around through Faerie and the lowfolk realm. Suddenly Edessa realizes your banishment isn't as restrictive as she thought. Suddenly Bonsai finds out his tree guards are no longer serving their original purpose. Suddenly The Duchess discovers that her originally dismissed suspicion that you were behind the trees attacking her really was your doing all along. Suddenly the rabbits of Bunkirk learn that you and your followers are the real culprits behind their recent troubles. Suddenly the Vulpitanians learn that their spy has become a turncoat and is working for the presumptive emperor now. Suddenly word spreads like wildfire and every elf in all of Faerie realizes that Adler the 'Mass Murdering Brother Killer' is still alive, and they learn exactly where he is. Militias, spies, assassins, knights, fundamentalists, and everyone who bears you a grudge will be marching to your doorstep. As for 'holding the door open' ... scoff all you like; it matters not that I can't approach the stone circle. I am a Fuma damned master of nature lore and magicks. I can force the trees currently guarding you to go inert or even kill themselves if I so wished. I've let you discover one word - just one puny nature word against my own vast, encyclopedic knowledge which I gained over centuries. I'll have you know that I wrote the book on nature lore and the use of the Voice of the Forest! So rest assured, my young friend, you will be utterly helpless and unguarded while you are accosted from all sides. Your cultists won't be able to help you, because they will be busy bearing the Rabbits' wrath. You might be able to hold off such a multifarious assault for a while, but you can't defend on all fronts indefinitely. Eventually even the keenest eye must blink, and yours is not the keenest by far ... Imagine the Duchess succeeding this time in planting her charm, rendering you blind, deaf, and dumb to the outside world, hiding in your little tower in fear for your life forevermore."
At some point about two-thirds of the way through this monologue, I began to hear a small voice whispering "Sire! Psst! Sire!" somewhere behind me. I tried to wave the interloper to silence and listen to the rest of Ash's rant - just to be polite more than anything else.
Eventually he stopped talking and paused with a smug look on his face, apparently expecting me to gasp or sob or something.
"Is that it?" I asked. "Are you done? Hang on for a minute. My spy has returned and I need to hear her report."
"Naturally," Ash gloated.
"Well?" I asked the Ixie as I withdrew from the scrying-space. "Did you contact the Sisterhood? What did they have to say?"
"They're not sure who he really is," she replied. "If this is the same Ash Marten who ran a tavern in Tulgeyside and then burned it down, they know him to be a small-time operator of local organized crime, specializing in murder, extortion, and insurance fraud. Before the fire, his tavern was a good recruitment location for potential Sisterhood agents. They've kept an eye on him but so far have deemed him not enough of a threat to merit action. What has he been saying? Has he menaced thee? They would be most interested to hear of any developments in that direction."
"He's pathetically desperate," I sighed, shaking my head at the sad spectacle of seeing an elf brought so low. "Really grasping at straws. He needs me to be crowned so I can pardon him, but instead of begging my favor he's acting all belligerent as if he alone can control my destiny. Instead of simply helping himself by helping me, he's willing to sabotage things so that neither he nor I can ever get what we want. It's downright goofy. Get this: He reckons the Duchess will come all the way back here to fight me when she discovers I'm a bigger threat, even though I managed to whoop her butt when I was LESS of a threat earlier! I suspect he's a dishonest elf, because he implied that it was threats of physical violence, not my sincere protestations of innocence, that convinced Estvan to stop trying to murder me. He seems confused about what exactly Lemmy did for me after the battle ... wait ... does that mean Lemmy is still alive? Did he get out of Albric Tor? How would Ash Marten know that? And what did Lemmy do anyway? He said he'd make a vague report about me to the Duchess; that's all. If he got on her bad side I doubt he'd be in any position to come take it out on me. Ash said something about a Vulpitanian spy defecting to my side and I don't have the slightest clue what he's referring to there, but if it's true wouldn't that be more to my benefit than my disadvantage? He tried to scare me with the mental image of hordes of elves marching here to attack me - but Faerie is perforated by Gaps. They'd have to march on foot through lowfolk country, and I don't see a lot of elves going to that much trouble. The only thing he's got that worries me is his uncanny command over the trees. If he gets the rabbits riled up and then clears the forest ..."
"Sire?" the Ixie asked as I trailed off.
"Something just occurred to me," I said excitedly. "Ash said he had written the book on the Voice of the Forest. What if that was no mere figure of speech, but ..."
I dashed to the bookcase where I thought I had remembered seeing it, and sure enough, there it was: A thin, cheaply-bound monograph entitled An Exhaustive Treatise on the Tactical Utility of the Voice of the Forest, with complete glossary, by Dr. Owter Cesawonki, S.A., L.V.
I quietly thanked Fuma for her gift of Luck, and my ancestor Thorwald for being such an obsessive hoarder of information that he started the Department of Definitive Veracity, which built this scrying tower, and at some forgotten date obtained an obscure piece of Vulpitanian scholarship for its library.
"I think I know who our mysterious Mr. Marten is," I chuckled. "Stay on call in case I need you, but I'm starting to feel it will not be necessary to involve The Sisterhood in this affair after all."
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Know before you go and what I’ve learned from traveling:
It’s not a race. I was always so bummed about the number of countries I’ve been to compared to other people my age until I understood that the number of places visited is not what traveling is about at all. It’s not important about how many places you’ve been but the depth you’ve explored them. I have been to some beautiful places all around the world that I am insanely grateful for and it’s incredibly toxic to compare my journey to others.
Traveling is an absolute privilege. Before you spew “everyone can travel, it can be done so cheap!” recognize where you come from.
Before you book that trip to Haiti or Cambodia to “go build a school” or volunteer at an orphanage, research the hidden harm that is involved with your short term stay. Your good intentions can actually be causing harm within these communities.
This also accounts for volunteering at animal and wildlife sanctuaries as well. You could unknowingly be volunteering at a place that secretly participated in “canned hunting”. So many sanctuaries have been accused of this in the past and I’m sure they’re still out there. Now, not all places are bad, just make sure your money and time are going towards something that will really help ethical animals and wildlife sanctuaries. This is where it’s important to do your research.
Clean. Get rid of shit. Simplify to the necessities. Pack light. The weight of your luggage is equally proportionate to your misery while traveling. I’ve learned this the hard way.
You have the power to choose love. Always choose to love.
Stop the exploitation of animals as you travel. Meaning the Luwak cafes in Indonesia where you drink the coffee after the Luwak has digested the coffee beans. Stop swimming with dolphins, participating in lion walks, taking photos next to chained up tigers, riding elephants, camels, and donkeys/mules. These animals are most likely not taken care of very well. There have been times where I have been guilty of giving in to attending these places because they sound great (who doesn’t want a photo with a lion next to you?) but in hindsight, these attractions are most likely incredibly unethical and there’s a lot of physical/emotional harm that is involved with the training the animals.
Reduce your use of plastic abroad.
Going alone is okay. If we all waited for someone to travel with us, we’d be waiting for a very, very long time. So, please go even if you have no one to go with. There are millions of people all over the world that are just waiting to meet you. Some of them you’ll meet in a hostel room and you’ll end up spending the night walking through the street markets, some of them you’ll meet at a bar and discover new corners of a city you didn’t know existed, some of them you’ll meet sitting on a bench at a bus stop and you’ll end up sharing the best coffee you’ve probably ever had, some of them you’ll meet watching the sunset on the beach and you’ll end up sharing stories and laughing with them until the morning and some of them will end up being your best friends. And sometimes you’re going to be alone and going on tours, to the movies, or to restaurants sounds scary to do by yourself at first but soon enough you’ll learn that it is completely okay to be alone. Solo does not mean lonely.
Don’t say you don’t like anything until you try it more than once.
Save your change.
One of the most reassuring things in this world is that you are never stuck anywhere. You are never unable to leave.
Don’t avoid taking care of your mental health when abroad. Traveling is exhausting and not always rainbows and butterflies. Your mind and body are still important.
Write about your favorite moments, your least favorite moments, ideas, people you’ve met, strangers you’ve walked past on the street, favorite quotes, words to remember, what the sky looked like at 7pm, new songs you’ve discovered and what they mean to you, places you want to go or places you’ve been, write about your passions, how you feel in this exact moment, draw out the mountains, scribble all over the pages. And when that one gets full, buy a new one. Reread it in 2 years, 20 years, when you need a good laugh, when you’re upset and can’t get out of bed, read it to your children. You need to remember these moments in your life. They are so important.
Spend less time on social media. It’s no secret that social media is addictive and it’s really good at taking away precious moments. It’s important to not be glued to your phone or laptop while abroad. Social media will always be there for you when you get home.
Traveling is overly romanticized. It is very hard work. It does not solve all the problems that you have at home. And traveling is not what it looks like on Instagram. Please don’t feel bad because your experience doesn’t feel the way that it looks like it should on Instagram.
When you’re eating, really taste your food. Talk to the locals. Immerse yourself fully into this new culture. When you’re out hiking, let go of your phone. This is how you’re going to get the best experience possible. Live in the moment.
Take photos. It is physically impossible to remember all these moments in your life. Someday down the road, maybe when you’re feeling a little depressed or bored, you can grab your camera and scroll through these photos that’ll remind you of some of the best times of your life. Ask permission before you take a photo of someone. Ask permission to post it on social media (if these are your intentions) and let them know 1,000s of people will have access or will be seeing these photos. Remember: kids can never consent. Just don’t take photos in orphanages or schools. It’s really important to be respectful. People are not props.
Usually, no one wants to hear more than a few sentences about your trip when you come home other than your mom. And the references you make months after your trip, “when I was in...” will sometimes result in an eye roll. Shake it off. I know it can be hurtful but it’s best to just keep it to a minimum for your own sanity.
It’s okay to look like a tourist. Visit the big touristy places and take your picture pushing against the Leaning Tower of Pisa. You’re not better than every other traveler just because you skipped the popular areas.
Learn the basics of the language before you go. “where’s the bathroom? how are you? what's your name? My name is..” Always remember it’s your fault for not learning the language of the country you're in, it’s never anyone else's fault for not knowing English. Keep the language barrier frustration to a minimum. Hand gestures, a smile, and patience can go a long way!
You’ll probably get sick at some point. Be prepared for it with a little first aid kit! It’s always a good idea to have insurance.
It’s important to not judge the way in which other people travel. I’ve met people who have planned their travel to the point where they do not participate in any tourist activities and live off one meal a day and then I’ve met people who pay for every excursion in every city they go to. And I find my initial thoughts to be “...but why?” and I eventually snap out of it and realize it’s not my place to judge how people travel. Everyone experiences places in their own unique, meaningful way. And I mean who really cares if someone is traveling the world full time on mom and dad's money? It doesn’t affect you.
Cheesy souvenirs are never worth it. Collect sea glass, your train tickets, plane tickets, maps, stickers, and coins. Chances are those Colosseum magnets you bought in Rome were really made in China. Support the locals if you’re going to buy souvenirs.
Slow down.
Google the tipping etiquette within the country you’re visiting before you go. Some places it’s rude, some places it’s the only income someone has. Don’t be the person who “didn’t know” when the information is a 5-second google away.
Jetlag freaking sucks but it happens to all of us.
Be prepared to be uncomfortable and be open-minded. You’ll probably wash your clothes in a bucket or sink, sleep in dirty beds or on airport floors, be forced to eat with your hands even though you’ve never done it or go without toilet paper for weeks at a time! It’s all apart of the journey.
The world is not as bad and scary as the news makes it out to be.
Nothing will ever go as you expect it to. Plans go out the door. I learned this the hard way. In fact, I am sure every traveler has learned this the hard way. You’ll miss flights, you’ll get flat tires on road trips, you’ll end up spending a lot more money than you expected, you’ll miss buses, you’ll have to run to trains to get to them on time, I promise you’ll have a dead battery when all you want to do is call mom to make you feel better, the hostel you wanted will be full, your dumb airline will lose all your luggage, things will get canceled and you’ll spend many unexpected nights crying but despite all the struggles that traveling brings upon us, it is always worth it. The tears, sore shoulders and blistered feet are always worth it. There’s no point in getting mad that your plan fell through.
We are all going to make mistakes as travelers. We have to become better researchers and better listeners. Ignoring the requests of locals or the cultural differences is absolute ignorance and another example of flaunting your privilege. Just because you are a tourist and contributing to the economy of other countries does not mean it’s okay to be disrespectful and act as you please. However, we’re going to make mistakes and it’s important to not beat yourself up over it. What’s important is how we respond. Don’t be scared to ask questions.
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Post-Covid Travel Guide | Surviving a Long-Haul Flight | Tips and Tricks!
Covid-19 has taken a massive toll on the travel industry. It has undoubtedly put a damper on everyone’s travel plans in 2020. However, with encouraging news about development of Covid-19 vaccines and start of human trials of the same, international travel may soon resume 🙂 We’ve seen many people lose out on their summer vacation plans because of this, but not for long!
A long-haul flight can be pretty tiresome sometimes. If you don’t know what ‘long-haul flights’ are, they’re basically any flight longer than 7 hours. Usually this category involves international flights, however, some domestic flights in large countries can come under this umbrella. Why are long-haul flights so bad, you ask? Well – the constant sitting, lack of WiFi and limited area for movement could contribute to this attitude.
But don’t worry about all these pain points – we’ve got you covered! In this article, we’ll go through 9 super-important tips for your first long-haul flight! Some of these may come off as a no-brainer, but those are the ones we tend to overlook and forget first. With this list, you’ll end up a long-haul flight expert. So, let’s jump right in to some tips for your next long haul flight in post-covid times.
Wear Comfortable Clothes
Well, this comes as no surprise – comfort over style is good for all kinds of flights. However, it’s especially important for long-hauls. Always remember to dress in loose clothing, made out of a breathable material like cotton. You need to be able to move around, be free and as unrestricted as possible. Often, people might opt for one-pieces (like dresses), but we advise against that decision. Flight air conditioners are quite unpredictable, and are (more often than not) on the too-cold side of the spectrum. Dresses mean that your legs are exposed to all that cool air, allowing them to get stiff and maybe even cause an injury if exposed for long enough. Jumpsuits may be an option, but a good sleeved tee and jeans/track pants should do the trick.
And always carry layers! The best way to protect against the chill is to layer up. Jackets are imperative, especially if you plan on getting cozy and catching some z’s. If you feel too hot, you can always just unwrap yourself by a layer, and you’re good to go.
Good Seats Are SO Important
Trust us, you really don’t want to get caught with a non-reclining end-of-flight seat for 10-11 hours in a row. Reserving a seat beforehand (especially on a long flight) is worth the trouble, and even more so if your flight is at night. You can even come early to the airport and reserve a seat then, if you are not able to do so online. Leg room is one of those commodities that one can never have too much of, so this is something to consider when choosing seats. The seats near the emergency exits have the most leg room, however, in case the unlikely case that the aircraft has to land on water , be ready to snap out of that slumber and activate the emergency exits!
Some people prefer aisle seats, and some prefer windows. But no-one – and I repeat, NO-ONE likes that crammed middle seat with no elbow space and no privacy. This is probably something to keep in mind as well. If you’re the kind of person who loves to enjoy the view on an airplane, window seats are for you. Alternatively, you might value your bathroom breaks more than this – aisle seats are best in this case, as you don’t have to keep excusing yourself every time you get up. The middle seat is okay if you’re travelling in a group or with family.
Stretching and moving around is also a good idea on long-hauls, as your body tends to stiffen up. Back muscles can take a toll with all that sitting, so make sure whichever seat you’re in, you can get out of easily! We recommend some good ‘chair yoga’ – you might find that your seated arrangement doesn’t deter the will for some good asanas!
Food = Life, Especially On A Long-Haul!
Everyone loves food. And most people eat a snack at least once in the span of 4 hours. Imagine doubling that time, but only getting a packet of salted nuts as compensation? ‘Hangry’ is probably the best way to describe it. Carry your own food – but remember to not stock too many liquids or liquid-like foods (eg. curries). This might not even be allowed on the flight, and you’ll have to dispose of it before you begin eating itself.
It’s also important to think about what kind of food you’ll be eating. If you are spending the next 10 hours sitting (as compared to working out, playing or even walking around), you’ll have to change your diet a bit. To suit this new seated marathon, make sure to go light on your meals. Heavy meals include higher-energy foods, which you won’t burn on the flight. It will keep you awake, and may not allow you to rest well enough before landing. Sometimes, we may not have a choice, as meals are pre-planned and we have to eat what’s available to us. In this case, remember to bring your own food, and maybe some fennel seeds as well. They’re known to aid in digestion, and also act as a mouth freshener – killing two birds with one stone!
Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate!
Hydration goes without saying. Drinking water is something you’d need to do even on ground, but it’s even more important when you’re 30,000 feet above sea level. Mouths are more likely to get parched, and you can’t even carry more than 500ml to quench that thirst! However, here’s a tip – carrying your water bottle is still a good idea, even if half-filled. Ask the air staff for a refill, instead of using the paper cup method which they give you. You’ll get more water in that way, and you don’t have to keep bugging them for water either!
International long-haul flight services include drinks. These may include alcohol, or be restricted to teas and juices. Either way, it’s a better idea to stick to good old water for the most part. This is because it has the highest water content out of all (belaboring the obvious), and has the least sugar content out of all options. This means you’re less likely to get a sugar rush, or even a general sugar high and its inevitable low that comes right after. Although, if you are a nervous flyer, the alcohol option might be a good temporary choice, as it acts as a sedative. However, it does dehydrate, so beware. If you want some variety, teas like green tea are good for hydration instead.
BYOE – Bring Your Own Entertainment
Some long-haul flights have in-flight entertainment. This includes a back-of-the-seat screen – with movies, songs, and sometimes even games. But it might not be the best idea. Why? Because if you’ve gone on some before, they tend to have similar movies in stock. The music is not terribly updated, but if you are ok with having any old song play to pass the time, then you’re in luck.
Many streaming services like YouTube and Netflix offer download options – and our advice is to make the most out of them. They offer a more personalised approach, as what you’re downloading is what you truly want to watch. Offline music is great too, and you don’t even need a streaming service for this – just a few gigabytes of phone storage. It’s more likely to keep your attention, and even help you learn some cool new stuff, who knows?
And entertainment doesn’t only have to be digital. If your carry-on space permits, a good read is all you need. Reading lights are installed on all airplanes, so your flight was literally made for this! We don’t recommend card games or games with many moving pieces, though, as these might get lost on the plane… Only to be found by the cleaning lady, a lone, isolated Monopoly chip in the oasis of fluorescent floor strips.
Can You Have A Mini-Bath Here?
The quick answer to this is, yes. You can. And honestly, you should. Carrying good travel hygiene products are very necessary, especially on a 7+ hour journey across the globe. Wet wipes, deodorant, cotton pads, sanitizer and even a toothbrush and paste are some essentials on our list.
Why, you ask? Well, sitting for so long has its risks. You may be sweating, you may be sitting next to some folks with strong body odour, or you may just not want to inconvenience anyone with your bodily situation. Often, airplane food doesn’t suit us, and neither does being in the same place for hours on end. Freshening up makes you feel not only physically better, but mentally relieves us of some stress even if for a minute. And a flight shouldn’t have to get in the way of your skincare routine, now does it?
Speaking of which, it’s advisable to go as bare-faced as you can. Makeup is not a good idea for long flights, as it tends to cake up and smudge. For both men and women, moisturizing is a must, as the AC tends to dry out skin – even under a warm jacket.
Toilet tactics may also be a good area of expertise to know about. The best time to use the loo is right after the seatbelt sign is switched off after takeoff, or in the middle of the flight. The end is absolutely the worst, as you risk catching the toilet in a mess, or not catching it at all (due to seatbelt signs). Make sure you carry ample amounts of toilet spray and/or sanitizer with you just in case.
And just like that, we’ve come to the end of our article on tips and tricks for a long-haul flight. We hope you enjoyed reading all the spunky tips we had to offer. If you’d like to book your visa, travel insurance or SIM cards before flying out, remember to contact Visa2Fly! We’re always here to help 🙂
If you enjoyed this blog, know that there’s more where this came from! Our articles on Hostels vs. Hotels, and the coolest skiing destinations are live on our blog page! Happy travelling~~
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Akatsuki no yona chapter 195: youtube comment I’m proud of: Part 4
though have you though about how yona actually soothed soo-won's attack when she showed up in her bed looking for min-soo?
seems you forgot that kaashi said very deliberately that she CAN''T read her own future. she can read everyone elses but not her own. though the question is...was yona not along in the carriage...or was she brought along but kaashi saw the attack in how it would affect yona so hid her outside the carriage to protect her. it was implied in previous mentions of that attack that yona had been with her but hadn't been killed so I don't think yona was just at the castle at home.
i love you just over thinking her future vision XD
its definitly understandable that since Il was never popular it makes sense some rebels might have attacked the carriage...it might be people who support yoo-hon that yoo-hon didn't know about. like we know kyek-sook says later that il stole yu-hon's rightful place as emperor even though it was the past emperor's choice. yon-hi assuming that for il to be chosen it HAS to be about yona or the priests stuff...not even considering maybe Il was chosen for other reasons.
I think the real tragedy is that Il lost his dad, his wife and then his brother. Il hadnt been properly trained for the thrown as yu-hon had been. thinking of how great Il's reign had been if the brother had lived is interesting. if yu-hon had the time to rally the tribes around the brother. Il would have the closest thing to a priest by his side if the mom had lived but we know Il isnt war hungry so he would be able to negotiate. but if his brother ha d been there king Il might have listened and understood some fighting at times were nessacary because he would have his bro by his side. they might actually be able to bond then especially since Il admitted he had been unfair to yon-hi. all he had was mundeok. his bro didnt have enough time to properly rally people around his brother yet so it seems no one really noticed that yu-hon really did want to help his bro other than soo-won. even kye-sook was more focused on being upset about yu-on not becoming emperior and made a plan to kill that brother than yu-hon loved so much and just wanted to support. the irony of knowing yu-hon wanted to support his bro but people who supported yu-hon in the long run killed his precious little brother....ouch.
what I find more fascinating is Yu-hon didnt really take seriously yon-hi's blood. he only made the promise to keep the secert because it bothered her family and it was what he needed to do to get permission to marry yon-hi. he didn't actually care or think her being a decendant was a big deal. just knew it was something that all of them would assume would be a negative or put her in danger. maybe because thir family tried to take over and fail before. or thought it was some sneak attack or something. people were so worried about it hey decided not to move to the capital. yu-hon didnt like the head priests and having to bow to him when yu-hon saw it as unnesacary and mocking his family. but he said if yo want to connect to god you dont need to bow or be inside fancy buildings or bow to the priests.
but now we find out that more neutral toward hirryu yu-hon now actually hates and admitted to really hating king hiiryu and resenting that first king who he blames for the illness and the gods who let yon-hi get affected. yu-hon is used to being a bad ass and attacking in war to protect and strengthen his country..but every time king hirryu is involved its more difficult. yu-hon's first instinct was to get rid of te priests who knew yon-hi's secert. killing all of them would insure the safety since some of them recognized yon-hi on site. theres a practical factor to being that cruel and yu-hon never liked them or thought them neccasary anyway. but because of his action yon-hi's mom killed herself. his relationship with his brother got really strained and his he upset his dad. the people not getting made would just make yu-hon think it wasnt that big of a deal. enabling that tendancy of his. we don't exactly see yon-hi scold him to try to help him communicate with his brther by tellig yu-hon that he isnt getting what he wants across before or even after her mom died.
but especially with what the maid said yu-hon might feel like yona, and kaashi the priest took his role away even if it seems he got over it. theres also the fact that yon-hi ad been brought to the head priest by kaashi that first time. yon-hi's sickness got triggered from the stress when kaashi told her about yona being the reincarnation the first time and yon-hi collaspsed in the presences of kaashi and yona. yu-hon who tends to pick fights....he resents the sickness that is going to kill his wife and the helplessness because there is nothing that yu-hon can do to stop this.
he can't protect his wife from this sickness. he can't fight it off for her. the dude doesnt really pray and he resents the gods who gave her this disease since its connected to her connection to the first king. and there will be a risk his son might get that disease too someday. theres a helplessness.
which might increase the chances tha yu-hon might project those feelings of hatred on kaashi and yona. he doesn't really know kaashi that well after all. she was there telling yon-hi the stuff that stressed her out and caused her to collapse and he might think kaashi resents yu-hon and yon-hi. yu-hon might know he hurt il my killing the priests but sees il would have more connection to yu-hon in the end. kaashi on the other had her job, livly hood, the only person who understood what she went through die. along with all the other priests, didnt know if isoo the little priest was okay. Kaashi herself was almost burned alive. only saved by his brother.
like kaashi would have every reason to fear and hate yu-hon and even yon-hi after what happened. he could think that she only wanted to marry Il o get close to yu-hon and yon-hi for revenge or something. yu-hon is a tactition and most would assume revenge or resenment. the fact that kaashi actually wanted to connect with yon-hi more even as il had still been more cautious. outing her identity to yon-hi first. she could have easily have hidden it but kaashi outed herself when they first met again by bringing up the simularity to their own real first meeting.
and yu-hon doesnt know what ttype of person kaashi is and he has alot of resentment toward hirryu and his own helplessness that has no where to go. and he brings up hating king hirryu on his own.
thats increasing the idea he might have done something to kaashi.
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I have so many feels about this pandemic, but the biggest one is feeling like I’m an uncaring asshole.
Overall, I just can’t really conceive of it, everything is just too abstracted for me to feel like it’s /real/. If that makes any sense at all.
Also, the disruption to my life has been pretty extreme so I feel like more than average I’m really affected by not the virus but the fallout. There was the housing situation that was a direct result of the pandemic, (it’s fixed now, and my current apartment is lovely and my landlord is a doctor and I’m so glad it’s been dealt with.) There’s been the school situation, and I don’t mean the regular it’s been shut, I mean I’m on an exchange, and my home university has been freaking out that I haven’t gone home when there had been 0 way for me to do that without risking my credits. Also, my health insurance won’t work if I enter a country with a no non-essential travel, which is currently every country, so if I leave the country I am in (it’s still valid because I entered before the warning) I will lose my insurance, and all flights to Canada involve an overnight stop in Europe. Also, the country I’m in is less affected than Canada or Ireland, it’s starting to hit here now, but I have an apartment I can self-isolate in, getting on a plan is just a bad idea right now, and my mum agrees but the school doesn’t like it, because I’m their responsibility until I’m home.
And then there’s the whole “panic buying” thing.
So, I’ve just moved, I’ve had to buy a bunch of things, pretty much everything, including a pot, because apparently that’s not included, there was a stove but nothing to actually use on it (and it’s induction so there’s only some cookware that I can even use on it.)
In my opinion, everyone, where I live right now, should have a 1-week long emergency preparedness kit. And everyone everywhere should have a kit. But as I’m currently on a fault line, a kit becomes more important. I haven’t been able to have that kit, living out of a suitcase, but now I’m building it up.
I am in communication mostly with other university students, who are from seismically inactive areas of Europe. We had an earthquake near the beginning of the term, I didn’t think it was that bad, I heard the metal coat hangers clang in my room but didn’t feel it really, The other students do live closer to the epicentre, but it still wasn’t a worrisome earthquake, but the other students freaked out about it, and many of them commented it was their first earthquake.
So as much as I understand people should not buy things in excess, and to be honest people shouldn’t need a global pandemic to realize they should have things on hand in case of emergency. If you could not survive for 2 weeks without leaving the house, you need to change that, now. The reality is most people I know couldn’t handle a few days without leaving the house. Europeans don’t shop like North Americans, they don’t have large freezers and fridges and it’s very common for them to go to the grocery daily, or nearly daily. I still don’t entirely understand how, I would not have the energy, but it’s what they do. This is not a good way to handle yourself in a pandemic. It’s not panic to say you should try to go to the grocery store less often, which means getting more stuff each time, and also learning how to plan meals further ahead, learning how to properly preserve foods.
I just, if anyone mentions changing the way people buy food, it becomes a discussion of panic buying, and we don’t want to be those people when the way people deal with food here is not sustainable in the case of a pandemic.
I grew up expecting a 9.0 earthquake, knowing that I would be outside, and without help for up to a week. I have grown up with a small tissue box emergency kit on my school desk with an emergency blanket, medication, and medical supplies. I have grown up with a duffel bag in my front hall closet packed with food & water rations for a week for my entire family. And my dad’s place has a month’s worth of food at all times because if the ferry stops sailing, especially if it’s winter, there’s not going to be much access to anything.
This isn’t doomsday preppers, it’s not going to last the rest of my life, but it’s knowing what infrastructure is in place and what types of failure I should be prepared for.
But now I don’t know I feel judged on the one hand, and on the other hand, I feel extremely upset that people didn’t have things prepared, and that any attempt of becoming prepared is criticized for panic buying.
I feel like this whole rant is me justifying spending over ₺300 at the grocery store. But I just I don’t feel this is that different from people getting a measles shot because of a measles outbreak in their area like you should’ve already done it if possible, but also these things are things that need to be done.
If you end up quarantined, you need to eat, the best option is to have that prepared. You should have already had that, but like I can be upset on a nebulous level for the shortages, and I can be mad at people doing things like trying to resell and price gouge, but I cannot be upset at regular people ensuring they will have enough for a quarantine outside of being upset that it takes a pandemic for people to do that. (I don’t blame individuals who didn’t have one to be clear, I blame the system for not giving us adequate education on emergency preparedness, particularly in Europe. The quantity and quality of information for emergency situations is hugely better in BC than in Ireland, and it could be improved in BC too.)
See too many feels. and also I’ve always had a really cavalier attitude towards death or at least that’s how it presents, but things like this are what makes it obvious to others, which makes me feel even more like an uncaring asshole. But it’s just I don’t know how to feel or react how other people do, it’s just not possible for me like death is just it has always been really present in my life and the religious beliefs I was raised in really emphasized the idea of cycles and that life and death cannot be without each other, so I find it really hard to conceptualize it in the more finalistic tragic sense. And also being autistic makes it hard, in general, to perform emotions as people expect them.
#lmk if you read this#since it's a mess#untagged#sorry I do not have the spoons to process this enough to tag it properly#it's about the current global situation#and my feeeeeels
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One Piece Chapter 956 Review
Wano Country Act II is over. It’s time for the next act that promised to be climatic and riveting. Before the chapter release, I had a hunch that perhaps Oda will shift the scene to elsewhere; taking a small break from Wano and begin building up to other world problems. Fortunately, my hunch was spot on, but the development is not what I’ve expected. It’s a whole lot bigger than I anticipated.
The chapter can be considered as intermission report. When it comes world building, leave it to Oda to overwhelm his fans with crazy amount of developments. When you have a chapter titled, “Big News,” it’s going to be far more than a character reference. As soon as the chapter opened up with Fishman Island, it hits me the notion that Reverie is done. It was bad enough that it shifted to Wano Country before the fun began, Oda continue to toy with fans’ expectations. After this chapter, it now occurred to me that Reverie wasn’t going to be full of reveals, but instead, full of secrets.
Garp continues to be the best man from the meeting with his kindness to escort Neptune and his family. They briefly discuss the meeting that can be best described as the usual government misfit or in other words, the usual day at the office. There’s a ruckus between countries’ leaders, which was expected. Funny how Oda drew a Hitler-esque character design for one of the leaders. Even if they join hands, it’s not like they hold back their ill intention. Based on the discussion, Reverie would have left off as a simple debate that has no need to be explored. Then, the real entrée appears with the reported incident that happened soon after it was adjourned, and it involved with Kingdom of Alabasta.
This one got me thinking like crazy. Worst of all, it’s not even addressed what exactly. My best guess is it has something to do with the World Government and Im. I remember vividly that he was carrying the poster of Vivi in his hand; highly foreshadowing his next action revolve with her. Not to mention, when he sat on the throne, we don’t know what he has in mind, but to me, it has to be about Alabasta. What is exactly? I don’t know. I have seen fans speculating Cobra was murdered or Vivi has disappeared. It’s extremely vague and I curse Oda for toying with my head. Not really, but damn, he knows how to temper fans’ feelings.
Morgans has been busy with tons of headline news and there’s no stopping. That is until an assassin, a CP member to be exact, from World Government threatens him to stop or else, well, prepared to die. Shockingly, Morgans is strong enough to beat up an official, so his words will spread on. There’s couple of takeaway from this. One is that he admits that he has spread lies in his news before, yet also decide when not to. You may be thinking, “That’s journalist for you.” You may be right, but the intention is whether to believe the next news is true or not. More on that very soon.
The second is he’s targeted by World Government. In a way, Morgans can be considered as a wild card, where he can report something valuable for us fans, or deceive us for falsified report. I guess you can say he will spoon feed us the plot whether it’s true or false. Lastly, the scene ends with a cliff note of him receiving another news from King Wapol. It could be important or not. Once again, it ended before anything was revealed. Speaking of unrevealed, the news that is spreading across the world is vague for fans, but more importantly, something has happened with Sabo.
There’s two important details to consider. One is Sabo was caught in the midst of Reverie. The last time we last saw him was him trying to sneak in. According to the news, Sabo was reported in a way that upsets the Revolutionary Army. It could mean either he is captured or worse, he’s dead. Going back to Morgans, he stated that he is willing to falsify news for sake of drama that ultimately translate to profit. Dragon wasn’t going to buy it just yet, but it is very alarming. This ploy is tempering the fans’ emotions. While I don’t believe it, it is hitting me with concerns. Poor Koala. Killing a pairing before it sets sailing. No pun intended.
The second important part is the world now knows Sabo is or maybe was alive. It’s why Oda intentionally showcase the world’s reaction towards Sabo. Now, everyone knows. If he returns, this will spark huge news. DoFlamingo can only laugh at the downfall of the world and that’s enough for him to be satisfied. So much for coolest guy ever idea, eh? The report on Sabo is a mystery and very concerning; however, that’s not all what Oda wants to exploit here.
I know I have said, “There’s couple or two” here and there, but there are tons of important key elements in this chapter. It’s mind-blowing to be honest. With that said, there’s more. While sailing with Marines, Coby is seen speaking to someone to update the status of the world and to me, it sounds like we only got a small portion of what transpired from Reverie. Wano Country may not be the focus here, but it doesn’t mean there’s nothing crucial to learn here.
X Drake is confirmed to be a double agent for Marine; the man who is currently speaking to Coby. This blows my mind. I knew somehow the Marines would get involved with this arc and it’s only getting started. Now that he told them about the dangerous alliance of Kaido and Big Mom, they’ll take action. But the surprise doesn’t stop there. Apparently, CP0 member is in Wano Country right now. What the hell? Too much hype. But seriously, who can it be? Lucci? The point is, the Government is now invading Pirate-ruled country. Something huge is going to happen soon. Speaking of huge, there is one huge development. This series can’t rest at all.
I was confused when Coby said he was going to see Hancock and arrest her. This is clearly intentional to leave the fans going, “Huh?” Maybe the explanation would have been the Government learned about her helping Luffy. Then it gets more confusing when a person (nick) name dropped three Shichibukai members. Then, the truth comes out. The Shichibukai System is officially over. Now, that’s how you drop a major development.
The privilege for those pirates is over; like losing an insurance from a newly established law until the next passing. That one marine practically summarized Buggy with one line, “You’re now a lowly pirate.” You can say that again. Hilarious how Buggy acted like the boss, as if he is not intimidated, yet his inner mind is already set to escape, leaving his men to die. That marine fellow really hit the bullseye with that remark.
Mihawk is now targeted, though this excites me because now, he can roam freely. We can expect his involvement sometime later and that has me hyped. Imagine him meeting with Zoro with his new sword, Enma. Whitebeard Jr. is targeted. This is now a really good time to prove his worth. Is he strong as his name should be or is he just a fake, like I still predict he is? Lastly, Hancock is targeted by Coby. I really wonder who is stronger between the two. I wonder if the topic on Luffy will be brought up there. Perhaps it’s a way to excuse her if she somehow loses. So many expectations; the worst Oda can do is off-screen all conflicts. Sadly, I’m prepared for the likely direction.
This chapter was one massive info dump with tons of new developments. This series continue to build its world in a very exciting way, while also developing more excitement lurking within Wano Country. With the mystery of Alabasta and Sabo, along with the end of Shichibukai, it’s hard not be incredibly interested. I should mention about Blackbeard. It appears that he’s ready to recruit someone from former Shichibukai. This series just keeps on giving. Oda is set to obliterate Marineford War Arc, and if this is where he begins to build to that expectation, it’s going to be glorious. What a time for me to return to review.
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Go Fund Us? an Interview with Professor Lauren Berliner
Paul Smith by Joshua Lucero
This interview originally appeared in Challenger BMX Magazine Volume 2, Issue 4. Winter 2018/2019. Interview by Nick Ferreira
When I first donated to someone’s GoFundMe medical campaign, I thought it was an innocent idea: Someone is in need and they don’t have enough money to pay for it. Seems like a no-brainer. But as I began to think about this concept of a private web site acting as a safety net for healthcare (not to mention the countless other types of campaigns, but we’re talking medical here), it all started to feel incredibly troubling and confusing.* Luckily there’s people out there researching this stuff. People like Professor Lauren Berliner, a faculty member at the University of Washington Bothell. Berliner works in the area of critical media practice and with the anthropologist Nora Kenworthy, co-authored the paper, “Producing a worthy illness: Personal crowdfunding amidst financial crisis.” This paper, published August 2017 in Social Science & Medicine, discusses things like media literacy, the idea of “deservingness,” and how GoFundMe perpetuates the inequality of the US healthcare system. Professor Berliner talked with me about her research and how it intersects with our small world of BMX
One of the things you discussed in the article is this idea of “deservingness.” What is deservingness and what do you think some of the more troubling aspects of deservingness are that came up in your research?
In general the idea that we are bombarded with so many campaigns at this point. Our attention is just not split amongst medical campaigns. On social media we have campaigns competing for lots of different issues. You might have one on your feed looking for funding for medical or another one that is really compelling for car repair funds. It’s not like you are only comparing medical campaigns when you are thinking about deservingness. In talking to crowdfunders and looking at the ways in which people write about their needs in crowdfunding campaigns it became very apparent that people are trying to frame themselves and their stories as deserving of funds. We live in a country in which asking for money is often associated with shame and self-sufficiency and the “bootstrap mythology” really prevails. When you have to ask for money it’s very hard even if you can point to a million systemic failures to say well, “yeah we actually still really need this.” So people who have very discrete, concrete asks: “we have everything we need but we need money for this treatment that is possibly going to save this child.” The campaigner might be imagining that the reader is looking for reasons why this person should not get the money. Because we hear a lot about fraud in campaigns. And people tend to approach them with a bit of suspicion if they don’t know the people involved very well. And so deservingness is, at least from talking to people who want to prove it in the healthcare arena, that they’ve done all they can to take care of themselves, and therefore they are deserving. There’s two modes of deserving: “I am deserving” and then there’s the flip side: “There’s nothing I did to deserve this.” Where, when you think about certain kinds of cancer linked to smoking or sexual transmitted illnesses or other kinds of health conditions that have been linked to stigmatized practices, it’s much harder and we see much fewer of those kinds of cases.
Yeah and that’s part of what I’ve been thinking about in regards to BMX, skateboarding, snowboarding, etc. It’s a risk adverse activity. I think a lot of people think why would I give this person money if they knew what they were getting into. I don’t know if there’s a right answer to this—it seems like a moral question, but also seems like a slippery slope. What’s the difference between someone who went for a run and got hit by a car vs. someone who is riding BMX because it’s healthy and fun?
When you first contacted us, I had the same thought. You are dealing with a sport that a lot of people would stay away from because by virtue it seems risky. I’d imagine in the realm of BMX related cases, where the person has an injury due to the sport, not if they are in the community and get cancer, but if it’s something injury related. Or, even someone who does have cancer and their goal is to get better so they can do BMX again, there’s a way in which that might potentially be a hinderance for them. But the flip side is that their network and community are people who are part of the community. And probably, I would imagine, from what we’ve seen the more the campaigner ties themselves to an already in place community the more likely they are to get funds because they have that sympathy across networks.
You are completely right. And I think that us something that BMX prides itself on that. Which is really kind of beautiful. I think that’s an aspect of crowdfunding that is quite nice. But to speak to your article and your research, I think it does take away the conversation from the fact that a better health care system would mean we wouldn’t need to be doing this.
Right or when we talk to people in countries where they do have universal healthcare and the things people are campaigning for are not the actual healthcare. It’s the stuff around it: travel to a care facility, the kinds of nice things to have when you are bed-ridden, travel for family. Not the actual procedures and medicines, etc.
I think that leads to this next question, people talk about shows like Black Mirror and how we are one step away from dystopia. But this idea of self marketing, to me seems like it is already a super dystopian scenario. You have to prove yourself to get your healthcare paid for on a web site that takes 5% of your costs.
Yes. Well at this point they aren’t taking 5% anymore but they do have this tip model which is super confusing to people, even to myself, and I work on this topic. I was giving to a campaign and it said “Would you like to give a tip?” and when I see “tip” I think of the service model and people who are working class who are trying to get tips on top of low wages and my do-gooder instinct is “Oh yeah, provide a tip” (laughs). And then I thought about it and I thought “this tip is not for the person, the tip is for GoFundMe.” And the word tip—I find the word tip very manipulative personally.
For sure. I donated to a friend’s campaign not too long ago and I thought ,"Hell no. Why would I donate to GoFundMe. That seems insane."
It’s interesting because we are at a point, you mentioned self-marketing, but self-marketing and branding has been increasingly part of our popular culture and our social theatre for, I would say, 10 years with the emergence of web 2.0 and people engaging in different forms of self produced media like YouTube channels and Facebook pages. And so the idea of cultivating a unified brand or expressing one’s values and needs through social media, is something that we’ve been slowly naturalizing ourselves to. So it’s not like crowdfunding comes along and suddenly bam—we’re self-marketing. We’ve been self-marketing but it’s being applied to different concepts. So the dystopia is part of a larger, I mean there’s so many things connected to the dystopian vision of our world right now, everything from climate change to all the different events happening around the world. This is just one piece. And you can see the ways in which the “goodness of the crowd” or sharing economy is continually pointed to as a way out of social and economic ills. So like “Oh, help the migrants that came through San Diego.” Everyone get behind this with money or send blankets. That kind of approach is super well intentioned and very impactful, most of the time, but that’s where the energy is going.
Totally and that brings me to my last question and I think the problem with a lot of these campaigns is that it continues to undermine these public and social institutions that, I think, should be the things that are taking care of people in a first world country and if they aren’t “profitable” they are the devil.
I feel like, to that point, in the past 5 years since Nora (Kenworthy) and I have started working on this project, the idea of crowdfunding has become so popularized to the point of becoming part of most people’s everyday experience. Whereas when we started, we had to explain what crowdfunding meant. It was a very new area.
That’s so interesting.
Yeah. There’s ways we’ve become naturalized to its existence as a means of survival. It helps to further obscure super abstract areas of our healthcare system in general. So knowing how much your hospital or doctor is going to charge you is generally a mystery until you get the bill. And even when you get the bill it’s still pretty much a mystery unless you track down how much this Tylenol is and the adjustments your insurance company will make, if you’re lucky enough to have insurance, is also really confusing. And most people, if you’re like me, just kind of lean back and go “okay, I’m going to sit and let the bills collect and then figure it out” and so then on the flip side asking for funding is equally abstract. People who set up Go Fund Me’s we talk to are like “I don’t know how much to ask for. We don’t know how much this is going to cost.” Just even doing the math and then deciding what are people willing to give. There’s a lot of economic reckoning people are doing that is not guided by whatever resources are available for people in need or should be available for people in need. But really just trying to dance around or with this really abstract, weird medical care system that does not put people’s health first.
*Big Editor's Note:
In no way would I ever blame someone for using GoFundMe nor do I think it is bad if you make a GoFundMe campaign. I want to emphasize that this is a critique of the US healthcare system and the techno utopia we are often told will save us. I don't know the answers but I'm trying to learn more. Thanks to Lauren Berliner for taking the time to discuss this stuff with me.
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I suppose it’s worthwhile to share who I’m supporting in the upcoming Democratic Primary for President. After all, what better way to make people who mostly agree with me to suddenly hate me than to stan for some deeply flawed elected official or deeply flawed Andrew Yang?
But before I get into narrowing down the field, I want to briefly mention something I’m going to talk about in more depth later: electability. It’s not entirely unimportant to use this unquantifiable metric when picking a candidate. I would just caution against it, and I’m not going to use it in mine. Simply put, I think this election is a referendum on Trump, and there will be enough wiggle room in the electorate to support a candidate who objectively would do worse against Trump and win than the best candidate. Candidate A might beat him by 10 points, but Candidate Z will still beat him and carry the down-ticket races, too. You might as well just vote for the candidate you believe in. A crazy concept, I know.
For the record, I’d willingly vote for any Democratic candidate over Donald Trump. I just want to get that out of the way. People feel the need to caveat their choice in this way, as though anyone is really arguing otherwise. There is some truth that in 2016, Bernie voters switched to Trump at rates that helped tip the election to the Republican. But it’s also true that more Hillary Clinton voters in 2008 switched to McCain than Bernie voters switched to Trump in 2016. The fact is it is incredibly common for supporters of a primary candidate to wind up voting for the opposition party’s nominee. These are often called swing voters or independents. They sometimes gravitate to a candidate simply because of that candidate and not because of party or policy. We need to stop with this type of criticism of supporters who don’t support your preferred candidate.
Personally, I’m still voting Democrat no matter who is the nominee. But I’d be very unhappy to vote for a lot of these candidates.
Here is the list of current candidates in an order that means nothing, but one might think has a hidden meaning:
Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, Corey Booker, Bernie Sanders, Julian Castro, Beto O’ Rourke, Tulsi Gabbard, Kamala Harris, Amy Klobuchar, Steve Bullock, Michael Bennet, Joe Sestak, Wayne Messam, John Delaney, Tom Steyer, Andrew Yang, Marianne Williamson, Pete Buttigieg
Let’s begin by just lopping off a bunch of these names who even I have barely heard of and have less than zero chance of being the nominee. Keep in mind that some candidates I’m keeping on, I only do so because I wish to make fun of them. Otherwise they would fully belong in this category of early dismissals. Here’s the new list:
Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, Corey Booker, Bernie Sanders, Julian Castro, Beto O’ Rourke, Tulsi Gabbard, Kamala Harris, Amy Klobuchar, John Delaney, Tom Steyer, Andrew Yang, Marianne Williamson, Pete Buttigieg
That was fun. Ok, let’s get into it. When judging who my savior will be, I consider a multitude of categories. But the first category I consider is one that won’t personally affect me at all. I want to know if any of the candidates’ position will grossly discriminate against traditionally-disadvantaged groups. As a straight white male, I have the benefit of not being directly impacted by even the worst Republican social policies. All I really need to care about is taxes and getting more vacation. That’s my privilege. But it’s also what’s so fucked up about Americans as a people. We are entirely out for ourselves, and this is most evident in how we vote. We need to look out for everyone, especially groups that regularly see their most basic rights challenged. I think this is the first bar any candidate must overcome.
So any candidate that supports restricting women’s reproductive rights, supports policies that make it easier to be fired for being LGTQ, or supports banning Muslims from entering this country is gone. Now, most of the candidates have said some questionable thins in the past. Bernie Sanders wrote a weird column about sexual assault, Joe Biden pushed a shitty crime bill that disproportionately hurt African-Americans and was down with segregated busing, and I’m pretty sure Marianne Williamson’s only black friend is Oprah (but she’ll definitely mention it all the time). But when it comes to actual policy, I honestly don’t believe any of the candidates running will actively seek to harm minority groups. Except Tulsi Gabbard, who has a history of saying some anti-gay shit. I’m not trying to wade into this whole Hillary Clinton/Russia/Third-Party run controversy involving Gabbard, so I’m going to cut her off now because I don’t think she has the backs of the LGBTQ community, but I really don’t want to write about her.
Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, Corey Booker, Bernie Sanders, Julian Castro, Beto O’ Rourke, Kamala Harris, Amy Klobuchar, John Delaney, Tom Steyer, Andre Yang, Marianne Williamson, Pete Buttigieg
The next crucial category is competence. Do these candidates have the basic competence and intelligence needed to be president? It doesn’t matter if they have strong policy proposals or are skilled orators. Can they do the job? As we can see with Trump, a complete lack of experience as a legislator, coupled with a complete lack of intelligence and basic human decency make for a bad time. In fact, never holding elected office alone is a disqualifier for me and it should be for everyone. Based on these criteria, the following candidates get the axe:
Andrew Yang - Yang is the type of candidate who randomly makes news for a common-sense plan and gets you thinking that maybe this outsider is what we need. Then you learn he’s a Silicon Valley tech bro supported by other tech bros and pseudo-libertarian types and he never held public office but now thinks he can be president. That is the most damning critique. This man knows literally nothing about government and how to govern/legislate. Instead of running for city council or the school board like a normal person, he decides to run for fucking president like an ego-maniacal psycho. In other words, fuck Andrew Yang and his supporters. Here’s a good article on why he sucks. And here’s another.
Marianne Williamson – Candidate moonbeam had her moment in the sun during one debate where she had a couple decent soundbites. She’s also batshit crazy, believes in anti-vax and anti-science ideas, and is friends with similarly-out of touch rich celebrities and SoCal types. Never trust anyone who self-identifies and makes a living as a spiritual guru. Some of the worst people in the world are rich white women from Los Angeles who are really into spirituality and New Age medicines. They are the type of liberals who post online about how much they support gay people and the environment, but god forbid they want to put affordable housing in their neighborhood. Every positive thing they do for society is clouded in narcissism. It’s an attempt to absolve themselves of their wealth with vacuous good deeds that don’t require any actual sacrifice. People like Williamson protest polluting the oceans because they enjoy their Malibu beaches, and then happily get in their Range Rover to go to the movies down the street. Williamson simply adds a layer of bullshit with her spiritualism. If having a personal shaman is a status symbol; being the personal shaman to Oprah is the ultimate status symbol. Like Yang, Williamson is an egomaniac as only someone from California can be, and she thinks the presidency is her God-given right. Fuck having to actually learn about public service by serving your town first when you can name drop Oprah and Gwyneth and immediately raise enough money to get a national audience to spew your garbage.
Tom Steyer - I could go on about how out of touch his policies are, but no one should be forced to read more than two sentences about this guy. He is a hedge fund billionaire who doesn’t want everyone to have health insurance and thinks being rich makes him qualified to be president.
Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, Corey Booker, Bernie Sanders, Julian Castro, Beto O’ Rourke, TKamala Harris, Amy Klobuchar, John Delaney, Pete Buttigieg
Alright, let’s pause and congratulate ourselves for easily dismissing half the field. Yay for us! This will mark the end of part 1, aka Super Fun Party Time #1. Part 2 will be up shortly, I hope, as we start discussing the serious contenders. Remember, my opinion matters more than anyone else’s so it’s extremely important you read this and ultimately vote the way I want you to vote.
#politics#2020 election#everyone sucks#bernie sanders#joe biden#elizabeth warren#kamala harris#pete buttgieg#3corey boor#corey booker#marianne williamson#andrew yang#beto o'rourke#amy klobuchar#tulsi gabbard#some other schmucks
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Crown the King
Crown the King is a variation of Never Have I Ever/Truth or Dare/Cards Against Humanity — the goal is to answer a question with the “best” answer, earning the metaphorical crown, and earning the right to answer any subsequent questions first, at least until you lose the crown to someone else.
The reason for this is because you can’t use repeat answers — they’re first come, first serve — so even if you had the same idea as someone else, if they say it before you do, you have to say something else.
The questions are simple — you ask a general question, say “Best place to go on a first date?” and then everyone answers — then all the players agree on the ‘best’ answer, and that person holds the crown, and first answer rights, until someone else takes it from them.
You play it to learn things about each other — personality traits, opinions, battle styles, kinks… you name it, it’s covered. Any question goes, and you’re allowed to bow out at any time, although you aren’t allowed to skip answering a question. You also can’t lie — if you get caught lying, and you will, you lose the rights to the crown for the rest of the game. Shadowhunters are, by nature, extremely competitive. Being denied a prize, recognition, sits well with none of them.
It’s also a drinking game. In that you play it while you drink. If you win the round, you have the option of not drinking, although that’s rarely taken advantage of that, but any losers have to drink. Played with shots, most often, but also with larger drinks — you just take a gulp or a sip or whatever strikes your fancy, if you aren’t playing with shots.
The name of this game is in part a holdover from the time when Jonathan Shadowhunter and his family ruled Nephilim, and in part just a loan-word concept for how the rest of the Downworld functions — while there are democratic influences found within the upper echelons of the Downworld, in the end, everyone always answers to their ruler.
The Seelie Queen, The Unseelie King; large swaths of countries are parceled off and under the control of specific High Warlocks, who, in turn, hold the allegiances of every lower ranked Warlock, Vampire, and Werewolf in their area.
While the position of High Warlock is, nominally, elective, the fact of the matter is that there is a very small pool of individuals that are capable of holding said titles — it requires a specific combination of magical power and presence. “Elected” is also a misnomer — it’s more like a battle royale, last one standing wins.
“Best place to lose your virginity, I’ll start,” Jace says with a smirk, the — as of yet — uncontested ruler of this particular game of Crown the King. Izzy huffs and rolls her eyes dramatically at his faux gravitas. “On a battlefield, after a successful battle.”
“You keep stealing all the best answers,” Izzy complains, toying with her drink. “Just because you got lucky—”
“Hey!” Jace protests. “I didn’t get lucky, I’m just better than you. Now, answer! I want to take another drink!”
“Ugh, fine… during an important yearly celebration,” she decides.
“Weak,” Jace crows. “Your turn, Alec.”
Alec is… honestly? Jace would love to say that he’s the worst at this game, but that just depends on the questions being asked. Alec is downright creative when the right subjects are brought up. Sex is a hit and miss topic, so if Jace is in luck, he’ll get to keep his first answer rights.
“In a throne room, on the throne,” Alec says, sprawled out and relaxed for fucking once with the level of alcohol he has in him.
And also, apparently, on the top of his fucking game. Edom damn it.
Jace makes a disgusted noise and slugs back his shot. “Fuck you,” he tells Alec emphatically. “Take your stupid crown, I hope it gives you a headache.”
Alec tilts his head to look at Jace. “We didn’t vote, though.”
It’s not a disagreement. If Alec had disagreed with him, Jace might have hit him.
“No… Jace is right, hermano, that one was good,” Izzy says, taking her own shot. “How have we not heard that one before? You always have the best fantasies.”
“It never came up?” Alec asks, drinking another phial of his ridiculous fae concoction.
Jace and Izzy can’t stand it — it’s some weird combination of bitter and too sweet — but Alec loves it, and considering how relaxed he gets when he’s drunk off it, they approve.
Since he stole the crown, Alec gets to ask the next question and answer first, insuring the chance of him keeping it for at least round two.
“Best… gift to get from a lover,” Alec decides. “Still warm heart of a hated enemy.”
Jace stares at him mutely. “Alec,” he says slowly. “What the fuck?”
Alec blinks at him — it’s not even innocently, because Alec honestly seems confused — and goes “What?”
“Where have you been hiding these?” Jace demands, Izzy echoing him in stereo. Jace is so glad he’s not alone, here.
“Did you get replaced? Are you a shell person?” Izzy asks, looking like she’s considering going for her knife.
“I think it’s plant person,” Jace corrects, distractedly, “But you have a point — seriously, Alec, what the fuck?”
Alec grins at them. Right, that level of drunk. The level of drunk that had had Alec coming very explicitly out of the closet with a complaint about how hot Aline’s cousin was. “It’s not my fault all your questions are stupid,” Alec tells them. He wiggles the phial in his hand at them.
“Your turn,” he informs Jace and Izzy without sympathy.
“Fine, a new weapon,” Jace says. “Like, not just any weapon, but my favorite type.”
Izzy makes a face. “Magical makeup. That shit is amazing.”
They all take drinks, then Jace looks expectantly at Izzy, hoping she’ll ask a ‘boring’ question and one of them can take the crown back from Alec.
“Best… first date,” Izzy eventually decides. Perfect. Alec was boring and domestic, one of them could easily steal this from him —
“Demon portal,” Alec replies promptly, because he’s a monster.
Jace makes an abortive noise, but Izzy doesn’t bother, giving a sigh of longing.
“Did you meet someone?” Jace asks. “Is that what this is?”
Alec blinks at him. Oh — oh no, oh, he did.
Izzy leans forward, seeing the same thing Jace did. “Alec? Tell us. We’re your siblings, we love and support you, we need to know these things.”
“Magnus Bane is really hot,” Alec tells them, taking another drink. “Like… really.”
“You met Magnus Bane?” Izzy asks, before Jace can get his thoughts in order.
Alec makes a noise of agreement. “Someone was slinging demon blood to vamps in the subway — Mom sent me to check it out but he was already there, handling it. Apparently it was one of his warlocks, and he wasn’t happy with them.”
“And he’s hot,” Jace prompts, when Alec trails off.
“He… made all the lights flicker, like in one of those mundane movies, you know? When they’re in the subway and something bad is about to happen? All the shadows turned black and there were things in them. It was terrifying,” Alec says. Jace thinks some of the description gets lost to the alcohol, but…
That did sound hot.
“He could kill me,” Alec says.
Ok. No. That was really hot.
“He’s totally into guys, too,” Izzy says, because she’s better than Jace at having Alec’s back with words. Jace usually just stabs people. Or things.
Alec makes a sad noise. “He hates Shadowhunters, though.”
“You’re really pretty,” Jace chimes in. “He might like, be interested just because you’re pretty and it’ll piss people off?”
Because if Alec gets involved with the High Warlock of Brooklyn, a lot of people are going to be pretty pissed off.
“Pretty and pissed,” he says out loud, because he’s drunk enough that the word combo is funny.
“Pissed and pretty,” Izzy counters.
They all start giggling.
“Answer the stupid question so we can drink again,” Alec orders them after a minute.
“Pass, keep your stupid crown. Next question?”
#jace herondale#isabelle lightwood#alec lightwood#shadowhunters#worldbuilding#meta#shadowhunter society worldbuilding#crown the king#shadowhunters being weird#our fic#shadowhunter games#its free real estate#downworld society worldbuilding#warlock worldbuilding
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