#like yeah its weird from the perspective of someone who thinks of comfort media as somethin | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ectonurites · 3 years

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a very very genuine question: so its bad to repost art but no one says anything when people repost things from the source material/creator's sketches.....why?like sure everyone who likes it may recognize the style but there are plenty of fan artists i recognize immediately, new or old art, with or without. to me it just feels the same, like either dont repost art or people should be able to repost stuff, i dont see how they can work at the same time. and this isnt me saying people should be allowed to repost and all that bc i do understand the theory of why reposting hurts artists, just that the logic doesnt seem to fit once it extends to famous artists/creators. just bc its official and easily recognizable makes it okay? how does that work? again, there are plenty of fanartists who are easily recognizable and lose no money when people repost their work (bc they posted it for free) and from my own observation, it seems it just, somehow, makes them want to do art less (from what i have read from artists themselves). why do we not consider that when it comes to official creators? wouldnt they also feasibly be less motivated seeing their hard work plastered across the internet for free when thats the sole way they make their income? and its not a system where its solely sticking it to the man bc it hurts the artists income, as well. but if it makes them happy to see people enjoying and sharing their work with others, drawing interest, why isnt it the same with fan artists? people often repost art, not out of malice or intent to claim credit, but bc they enjoy it + want to share it, esp on social media where sharing isnt a feature (instagram, for example) again im not trying to justify reposting, just confused about the contradiction

First of all instagram does have a form of sharing posts- stories. Which yes they are temporary by default, but you can use the highlight feature to collect your favorite things you’ve shared from people right there on your own profile AND it links back to the original post and can permanently be on your profile as long as you keep it there. You can even label them and everything! But then moving on to answering more of your actual questions

To start: this is a very complicated thing. And I feel everyone trying to answer it might have slightly varied opinions.

I personally see a pretty clear distinction between ‘Officially published/released’ works (like comic book [as like you’ve probably seen I frequently post comic panels] or other materials that may have been released in creator guides, official video game art, promotional art for things, etc etc) as opposed to like, personal work and fanart. Because with official works:

There’s usually a source to buy it and you should if you’re referencing it a ton (while I don’t own every comic I’ve ever read I do have a lot and if I did read something first through illegal means [because some comics are just straight up hard to find due to age/being out of print] and enjoyed it I try to seek out a physical copy after if possible)

There is a level of far wider recognition (I know you personally might find fanartists’ styles recognizable but like, things that are in mainstream media.. have just such a higher profile. it’s not really comparable)

If you’re not supporting the official release you’re harming the big company that published it far more than the individual artist (like, the individual artist probably also wouldn’t appreciate it, because it can effect them for sure as well, but they’re not gonna be taking the brunt of the damage unless it was entirely self-published work, which I’d definitely categorize differently from what I’m mainly talking about here.)

Often fanartists/professional artists who aren’t that well known, in addition to wanting to just create work for the sake of it, also want to build their own platform, to have an audience that they interact with. Or like, if they’re offering commissions, a bigger platform puts you in a position where people will actually see the art and want to commission you. When you say reposts of smaller artists’ fanart doesn’t ‘loose them money’ because they didn’t charge to post it, you’re missing the fact that it makes them loose out on proper linked-back-to-them exposure. Especially like, when a repost account on insta or something says ‘ah yes credit to [username] on tumblr’ the vast majority of people who see it aren’t going to then open up a whole different website and look for the artist. Some people might! but if there’s anything i’ve learned from working professionally in arts marketing it’s that people want things that are convenient and directly in front of them. Someone who wants to see more works because they liked one is significantly more likely to click on the username of someone who posted it rather than opening up a browser or a different app and searching a separate name put in the caption.

Then honestly, I do feel weird about reposts of professional artists’ more personal works unless the artist has stated they’re fine with people reposting with credit. It should be about the comfort level of the artist. I think a lot of professional artists who aren’t in a position where they’re as worried about building a platform, because they already have one and might have professional connections/opportunities already lined up, might not really care about reposts especially on a website they don’t use. (Like tumblr. I’m coming at this mostly from a comics artist perspective here, but most professional artists I see are waaaay more active on twitter and instagram than tumblr) If it’s a website they don’t use, it’s not taking away from the platform they had been building there for themselves. And also, some artists really just don’t give a shit, which is their choice they can make with their work! But that’s not a universal thing. One artist being fine with their personal art being reposted =/= all artists being fine with it.

In my own experience as a fanartist, when I see my art reposted without credit, especially when it’s art I’ve also already posted on the same platform... it’s definitely disheartening. Even worse is when the repost gets even more attention than my original post. (something that has happened to me multiple times!) Like, it can get so upsetting! Because it lets me know that someone else was using my art to build their platform and I got exactly zero benefit out of it. Then when it’s reposted with credit it’s a little less annoying, but I still don’t... get much out of it. Especially if it’s an instagram repost and they credit my tumblr not my account on there, since insta captions don’t actually do links unless it’s to other insta accounts. Also with insta for example, I have a 'business’ account set up so I can look at and track popularity of my posts and see how they’re doing as something to keep in mind when considering posting times, etc etc. When other people repost my art there I have no control over it. That sucks a lot! Also, when I quite literally ask people not to repost my art (it is IN! MY! DESCRIPTION!) and they still do, it’s just straight up disrespectful. I asked for a boundary to be respected with my work and people have just completely ignored it. That doesn’t feel good at all.

But, conversely, I’m gonna talk about my more professional irl work for a sec. I’m a graphic designer, so I do things like posters, logos, etc, When I design a poster for a client that is meant to be advertising something, even if it’s got my own original illustration or something as part of it, I know my name isn’t necessarily going to be attached to it the same way as it is with my personal work. I get a credit line somewhere, but that’s in a fine print probably not even on the poster itself at all, but that’s like, part of what I signed up for. I already get paid separately, I am giving permission for my work to be out of my own hands in that way. Professional work for a client is often setup in some way similar to this. I don’t get mad when I walk down the street and see a poster I made up somewhere without it directly ‘linking’/referencing back to me (aside from maybe my signature if it had an illustration), in fact I go ‘OMG ITS THERE ugh wait i see one pixel is off oh noooooo” and then move on with my day. It’s just an entirely different situation because that kind of work has a different arrangement from the start, where you know it’s going to be put in a different type of circulation.

So yeah, my word isn’t god here, but I definitely see official releases as having a different set of permissions based on the fact that they are published in an entirely different situation. And I think reposts of personal art aren’t cool if the artist isn’t okay with them, no matter how big a platform they have. Other people probably approach this with a slightly different perspective, but that’s mine!

#sorry this is long #but also 🤷‍♂️#Anonymous

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mor-beck-more-problems · 3 years

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Intro to Balancing Your Life || Morgan & Sasha

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @sasha-r-blog & @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: Sasha drops in on a new class on campus; Morgan is only too happy to offer encouragements.

“…And who is it that determines the definition of humanity? What kind of definitions do we see offered by Victor, or Henry Cleveral, or the Creature?” Morgan asked the class. The students, while not thrilled with some of Mary Shelley’s ‘big words’ had enough preparation to offer semi thoughtful ideas. Obviously, Victor thought he could define what human means. One of her try-hard students, eager to please every adult in sight, posited that while Victor’s definition of humanity is the one that dominates the narrative, the intrusion of the creature’s perspective halfway through the book is meant to compel the reader into questioning its validity. “Yes!” Morgan tossed the kid a candy from her bowl. “The midpoint crisis here upends our expectations through thought, rather than action. It is, structurally, the center, the heart of the story, changing what we believe to be true. But, are we convinced by the Creature’s definition of his humanity? Why or why no–”

Morgan’s timer, the theme song of The X-Files, went off.

“Shit. Alright, that’s time everybody! Do your homework, do your reading, and get ready for Fan-Fiction Friday! And you–” She pointed to the newcomer sandwiched at the corner of the seminar table. “Come see me for a minute. The rest of you: glad you love each other, but please get out.” As the room cleared out she began to gather up her things. “I’ll level with you, I haven’t checked my roster, so I’m not sure if you’re a late add or just checking things out. But either way, I might be able to answer any questions you have better one-on-one instead of just looking at you across the room.”

Sasha watched the other students mingle and leave, a second of nervousness keeping her in her seat before the professor called out to her. It was hard to parse the tone in Professor Beck’s voice when Sasha’s immediate assumption at a teacher saying to “see me” was that she had fuck up somehow. But either way, Sasha walked towards the desk, dodging any curious looks from her exiting classmates.

“Um, hi. Sorry I didn’t mean to cause any trouble by sitting in.” She shifted the straps of her backpack, tugging them against her shoulders, as if the weight would somehow shield her from the awkwardness. “I’m Sasha Rodriguez. You gave me your office hours awhile ago. I uh, didn’t get a chance to visit but I saw your name on the winter session course list and thought I’d check it out. I’m trying to branch out I guess.”

It took Morgan a few minutes to place the girl. She didn’t give out her school contact information to everyone, but it happened often enough that she had more than one name floating around her head. But the more she looked at her, the nervousness, the eagerness, the closer Morgan got to a hunch. “Oh, you’re the girl trying to figure everything out in college. I’m glad you decided to come by. If you’ve got some spare time, we can go somewhere and talk? I’d love to have you join in the spring, if you like what you’ve seen so far.” She dumped her books and laptop into her bag, and shouldered the load, handling the bulk with ease thanks to her strength. “Come on. Why don’t you start by telling me what you’re branching out from and what you thought about class today.”

“Oh, yeah, okay.” Sasha said as she moved to follow the professor. She still wasn’t used to how casual some professors could be. In high school they made it sound like professors were all strict, no nonsense, and unforgiving. And Sasha had certainly had professors like that during her first semester. But here was a professor throwing candy to students and cursing in class and talking about fan fiction. It was cool, but weird to process.

“I’m in computer science and I’ve only really taken courses in that department and math stuff. Oh, and also English 101, for the gen ed.” Those classes had been a lot different from what Sasha had just sat in on. Even the one English class she took didn’t really match up, that one having been run by an exhausted looking graduate teaching assistant who didn’t seem all that interested in teaching.

“The class was cool, though I feel like a lot of the stuff you were saying went over my head.” Sasha had a moment of internal panic, worried that came off as implying Professor Beck was bad at teaching. “I’ve just never been good at looking into books, but the class was interesting. I was surprised you mentioned fanfiction at the end. I didn’t think most professors even knew what that was.” Oh no, did that sound rude too? Sasha closed her mouth before she could say something dumb. Besides her advisor, if you could even count their meetings as conversation, and Ben, Sasha hadn’t really spoken one on one with a professor before. It still felt a bit surreal.

“Oh, that’s just because you’re coming in at the tail end of the course. I don’t throw my students into the deep end before I’m certain they can at least, you know, doggie paddle.” Morgan smiled good naturedly and lead them up to the main sitting area in the English building, setting her bag down carefully and making herself comfortable. “I can tell you that looking into books isn’t so different from the way you look into the stories in other media. Movies, TV, video games, comic books--our relationship to the stories we engage with say so much about what we envision for ourselves and the world. The more we understand and invest that relationship, the more empowered we feel to take control of our fate.” Morgan stopped herself from saying anything more and laughed, low and self deprecating. “Oh, jeez, don’t tell the other professors I said that. But, anyways, yes, the aforementioned reasons are what fan-fiction and other forms of counter-storytelling are so important. But more important than that is doing something that’s going to challenge you in positive, enjoyable ways. And making time for a little fun.” Morgan held her fingers up, like this much. “Can I ask how the rest of college is going for you, Sasha?”

Sasha followed her and sat in the unfamiliar sitting room. She gave a small smile as Professor Beck talked about stories and how people related to them, finding that she had been nodding along without realizing. She stopped once she did, somehow worried that it came off as over eager, as if a professor would ever get mad at someone being interested in what they were saying. If only the professor knew how close that hit to home for her. All those stories of kids getting superpowers, it was real. As if it had jumped straight off the page. As if Sasha had willed it into being. In the back of her mind Sasha wondered how she would have reacted to suddenly growing calls if she hadn’t grown up on comics and superhero movies. It felt like the blueprint to everything now.

Lost in her own thoughts she was a bit startled when the professor’s tone shifted. “No, no I agree, I think. I think all that stuff is important. Storytelling. I mean, I’m not much of a reader but comics and games and movies have been really important to me.” She wished there was a major in that stuff. Or crime fighting. She’d be on the dean’s list if her nightly patrols counted for credits.

“It’s been going okay. I mean, I don’t really do much outside of classes. I’ve been trying to do more but I mostly keep to myself.” It was the same thing she had told her advisor and Professor Campbell, but more and more Sasha felt silly for saying it. It wasn’t like she did nothing, just nothing related to college life. But it wasn’t like she could tell her professors she was protecting White Crest. Or at least trying to.

Morgan noticed Sasha’s interest and perked up at once. “You know, we do cover films in my class,” she said, grinning slyly. “And books. But still. It’s the same kind of thought process as with books, so it might as well be given its time and place. There’s plenty of other courses like that in this department, even a film and media studies minor. You should do what makes you happy, because undergrad coursework doesn’t matter half as much as you think it does. It’s all internships and jobs and connections and recommendations that help you get anywhere. And this place, college, has a lot of flaws and problems, but one of the best ways to make it worth it is leave knowing as much as you can about the things that matter to you most.” But that was about all the pitching she was willing to do on behalf of her class. Besides, being a student at UMWC came second to being a kid in White Crest. Morgan couldn’t help but look at the girl and wonder what this place would do to her. Morgan pushed the thought away, she couldn’t let herself focus on a big, bad future like it was some kind of unstoppable force.

“This might sound silly, coming from a professor who just tried to recruit you to their class, but I hope you do find other things besides school studies. There’s a much bigger world out there, and you should have something else in your life. At least friends and playing video games or going to Al’s at one in the morning or whatever kids your age do now. Life is for doing stuff, you know? Whatever it is you’re thinking about doing or joining, you should go for it!”

“I never really thought about taking a minor. I didn’t know they had one about film.” Honestly, more and more Sasha felt like she hadn’t planned much of anything when it came to school. Or life in general. But she supposed she could change that. If anything this talk had made her actually interested in looking into classes, something she had mostly breezed through doing in the past, simply checking off the boxes of what she needed for her degree. But if the professor was right and it didn’t matter that much... “Maybe I’ll try looking into classes for film and english and stuff like that. They seem fun. At least the stuff you were talking about seems fun.”

Maybe it would make school more interesting, instead of something Sasha went through the motions of to get to her real job. “Real job,” as being a superhero paid. As if she wouldn’t one day need a day job. College was a convenient way to pass the time and something she was told she had to do, but it would be nice to actually care about it, to feel like she was actually doing something.

“I do have hobbies...” Just none she could tell Professor Beck about. “But yeah, I should probably try to do more. I wanted to check out the library. I was supposed to help out with the comic collection there as a volunteer thing. So that’s a start I guess.” It had almost slipped her mind, but that was something she had been genuinely excited for. It was just hard to remember stuff like that during the day when she was normally up all night. Her nightly patrols had turned her days sluggish and uneventful, filled with quick naps between class and maybe some video games alone in her dorm before she put on her costume and went out again. And she loved doing it, of course she loved going out at night to keep White Crest safe. But at the same time...

“Do you ever just get really focused on one thing?” Sasha asked the question before she was thought about it, but decided to keep going, even if it was dumb. “Like, you have something you like or is important and you just focus on that and everything else just kinda blurs into the background?” Sasha rubbed nervously at the back of her neck. “I don’t know if that makes sense. I guess sometimes I feel like that. But I don’t know if I want to change it.”

“The library is a great start!” Morgan said. “You’re going to learn so much, and probably find people who have similar interests to you when they come to check out materials. But I hope you do other stuff, not for credit, just for you. You’re only going to be young once--” Hopefully.

She couldn’t help but smile at Sasha’s notion, that hyper-focus was something rare or embarrassing. “Oh, all the time. I have some art projects that I do on the side, and I can get so lost in my carving that hours can pass by so easily. Same with baking, or cooking something really involved. It’s almost like you’re connecting to something else, outside of or beyond you. There’s you, the thing you’re doing, and this energy it gives you, right?” Morgan watched the girl’s expression to see if she was getting it right. “Even if it’s just kind of like that, I don’t think you should change it. Whatever that thing is, it sounds to me like the universe is giving you the green light to keep going.”

Sasha nodded, giving a small smile. She was happy that Professor Beck seemed to get it and not think it was weird. Sure, Sasha's focus wasn’t on crafts or cooking, but it was the thought that counted. Her mind lingered on what she said about being given a green light. Really, what was a bigger green light than getting her powers? But she knew there was more to it than that. There had to be a reason it was her. She had to be able to do something with her powers, something to really help people. It was comforting to have the professor say she was right, that the universe wanted her to do what she was already doing, but there was a pang of melancholy knowing Sasha couldn’t tell her, or anyone, the truth. How much did advice and validation matter when the person saying it didn’t know the full truth?

She shook the thought from her head. “Thanks. Sorry, I didn’t mean to ask you a bunch of weird questions when I came to sit in. I think it would be cool to try out one of your classes though if you still have room for students.” Sasha chased away the worry of struggling in a class she wasn’t used to. If worst came to worst she could always drop that class. At least it would be something new, something she might actually end up liking.

Beaming and unawares, Morgan took out a post-it from her bag and scribbled out the class information before handing it to Sasha. “Don’t be embarrassed about questions,” she said. “Questions are how we learn. You’re never going to find anything interesting if you always leave well enough alone.” She stood up, getting the vibe that Sasha had opened up all she felt like so far. “I hope to see a lot more of you this coming semester,” she said. “Hoping even more that you do something just for you, but.” She put a finger to her lips. That’ll just be our secret.

“Thanks. I’ll try to keep asking them.” Well that was one social interaction that didn’t go horribly. Wasn’t great that Sasha considered that a victory for herself but she was going to take the feeling of accomplishment anyways. “And I’ll try to do stuff for myself too.” That was going to take more work than just registering for a class, but maybe it wouldn’t be the worst. She couldn’t promise herself she would put in the effort though. Tucking the post-it note into her backpack she smiled and said goodbye to Professor Beck. Maybe a few new classes would be enough to make her college life, and her daily life, seem a bit more exciting and a bit less like time to just get through. But her patrolling White Crest at night was still more important. Professor Beck didn’t have to know that part though.

#wr sasha #wr chatzy #wr sasha chatzy #intro to balancing your life #wickedswriting

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ambitionsource · 3 years

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hi can we get some zaley friendship headcanons whenever you're free? ☺️

im not the best at headcanons just bc of the way my brain functions but im gonna do my best for you, sunny my friend. let’s go zay and riley let’s go!

thrift shop buddies!! one of the most common ways that they hang out is definitely going thrifting. considering they arguably have the two most eclectic wardrobes on the show, this makes sense. esp i fully believe they’re the perfect people to thrift shop with where they encourage each other to try on everything, even if it seems outlandish (and sometimes even more in those moments). that’s the only way to really get some good finds! and i feel like, beyond S1, when they wear items for performances in the show that are clearly unique / seem thrifted, it’s more than 50% likely the other helped them pick it out at some point

on this note, i think that they both have really good senses of what looks good on the other bc they spend this time together, probably better than anyone else (yes, including their significant others. not that that’s hard, since both of their significant others have notoriously bland fashion). like even when theyre not out together i can totally imagine them seeing something and being like “oh this is so riley / zay” and getting it for each other. they know each other’s sizes and have like an ongoing swap credit system gfJSKHJDLFH

riley and zay usually run performance by the other person before they perform them for the class / at an audition. like they find a specific time (usually during breakout sessions during class) to get in front of the other person and run them through their concept + do a run-through for them. they just really appreciate the other’s perspective, especially since they tend to complement each other -- zay is able to identify places where riley could heighten things or add some flair or just like... assert her talent more lmao, whereas riley helps zay pull back on some of his more overwhelming instincts when necessary or find the moments to truly lean in emotionally rather than blowing us out of the water the whole time

if we could actually Watch the show, i guarantee 9/10 times when riley or zay is performing, we would cut to the other enjoying the performance. like theyre always bobbing their head along and truly feelin the other’s performances. excellent vibes luv!

i also think they harmonize well with each other, which is why its kind of a shame they dont do more performances together within the context of assignments (as for why, couldn’t tell you... it might just be a weird psychological thing of like i have These people i perform with when it matters and these who are just for fun... like maybe zay and riley tend to see each other as easygoing comfortable duet partners and thats why they try not to overdo putting pressure on it). but yeah they absolutely have days where they just hang out in one of the rehearsal studios and play around on the piano and try to find ways to harmonize on their favorite songs. this is some of the best singing riley ever does, bc its so low stakes and fun

i also think that honestly, zay really helps strengthen riley’s vocals over the time they’re friends -- especially early on. riley is someone with good raw talent but she’s never thought about honing it seriously prior to joining aaa, whereas zay has been on a career mindset since he was little. so he is good at teaching her like small technique things or helping her expand her range and she really values that esp bc hes so selfless about giving it, but it doesnt come off naggy or unnecessary like maya’s advice often does

sometimes it can be hard for them to find songs they both wanna sing though bc their music taste is so different. i think they have like three small categories where their favorites overlap -- select big names (sza, chloe x halle), jazz / old-time crooners (frank sinatra, nina simone, and the like), and select musical theater. but i think this is mainly on zay, bc he’s much more picky about music than riley who will give anything a listen without much nudging. as we know zay likes to pick on his friends’ music taste (like charlie and harry styles / 1d) and i don’t think riley would escape this affectionate teasing. they exchange song recs and riley gives him like her usual piano ballad-y sara bareilles tswift rachael yamagata energy and shes like oh yes, another piano ballad and hes like STOP!!! JUST LISTEEEENNNN GFSJKLHJFDSKLHKDLFH

that said though, they’re definitely go-to friends when it comes to like checking out a new local artist or coffeeshop open mic nights. this is probably a typical zay / riley / yindra outing

zay doesn’t spend a ton of time watching tv bc “he has better things to do with his time,” but riley and zay are definitely the type to watch a show together. like not always Together, but they’ll try to keep up with each other so that they can talk about it (and riley has to try really hard not to keep binging and get way ahead of zay). theyre good at this bc they can have really intense and opinionated conversations about it but in a way where its like safe and neither of them feel like theyre actually being judged / are stupid if they disagree (something thats not common for riley, and zay usually is trying to discuss media with super strong personalities who aren’t great at Debating).

in general, though, they tend to agree on favorite characters / relationships. for example, they both hate rachel berry -- which always gets maya and farkle extremely heated if they’re around. i can only imagine why...

they’re also definitely safe-space vent people for each other. they don’t use the privilege all that often bc i think both of them try to like keep their cool and not get hung up about things, but if they really just have to pop off about something they know they can go to the other person and they’ll actually Listen and keep it under wraps rather than either spilling it to everyone else and/or immediately trying to problem solve rather than just listening to the Emotions. and it’s helpful bc for the most part, their friends don’t actually really overlap that much, so they don’t really like harbor the emotions the other person unloads on them or let it affect their dynamics with other people? like riley can talk about dasher and zay can talk about yingel without it having any ripple consequences bc theyre different circles.

for example, i can totally see riley talking to zay about how she feels like -- at first -- asher doesn’t really like her and won’t really let her in and like he doesn’t want her to join the friend group (even tho that isn’t really true). like she can’t talk to dylan about it bc she’s not going to put him in that position and she’s not foolish enough to think that’s a good idea, she can’t talk to lucas about it bc he like doesn’t get stuff like that gFJKHGLFJSDLH and also he has such a set impression of asher it would be hard for him to understand it from her perspective. zay has none of that, so hes a good person to listen to her nerves about it.

the only times this gets kind of complicated / janky is in the midst of zay x charlie stuff where riley is kind of unintentionally (or, sometimes, intentionally) in the middle. like, zay trusts her not to go telling charlie what he says about him, but he knows they’re good friends too, and its an awkward position to put her in. but still, i think when zay is really hurt or frustrated he’ll snap sometimes and just vent out all his anger about charlie to riley in one foul swoop, and she’ll just absorb it like a sponge without judgment and then not bring it up again. but you can also see little ways where this puts pressure on their friendship, like how when he was drunk in 304 zay expressed resentment towards the fact that riley also talks to charlie and sometimes he feels like she puts him first, even though that isn’t true. it’s just..... a very very complicated (and interesting, if emotional) situation with that trio.

that being said, when things are Good, i think that zay feels comfortable talking about his significant others (including charlie) with riley. he doesn’t really get too Detailed about anything personal or anything, but they definitely discussed charlie in s2 in the small window of time where riley knew and zc wasn’t actively imploding LMAO. on the flip side, riley doesn’t really talk to zay about her relationships, but only bc her relationship is lucas GJFSKLJHLKDJHFLDSH. like anyone else she’d be like okay sure this is fine but she knows zay finds lucas annoying 65% of the time and talking about him in a romantic context grosses him out so she respects that LMAOOOO. hysterical

in general, if they’re gonna hang out, they usually go to either a local coffee shop they like (like svorskis) or each other’s houses. its kind of a relief to have a person they can just take anywhere and have around their parents with no trouble at all, considering both of them are used to having a boyfriend who cant be seen in their house (for different reasons). and theyre comfortable enough that like i think when they hang out at their houses, they just spread out in the living area of both bc theyre not hiding anything, its like very lowkey and comfortable

that being said, riley doesnt spend much time in zay’s usual studio at school. most people don’t, its a place zay now likes to be alone (and it feels weird with someone else being there who isnt charlie)

as for how they come off to their families, the babineauxs love riley. jada has met her a couple of times and thinks she’s super sweet + zay could afford to learn a thing or two from her like how to chill the fuck out (cue zay going shut the fuck up). donna is excited that zay has another friend who isn’t batshit intense about stuff like maya / farkle, she figures yindra has the diva best friend role covered and zay needs more friends like nigel and riley to ground him. she’s right about this.

cory likes zay, but he also does have some prejudices from the teaching perspective about how zay doesn’t pay attention in class half the time and blows off his assignments -- but this isn’t partially because cory isn’t a great teacher and his assignments suck. so the feeling is mutual, tho zay gets along better with cory in a neutral, polite sense than say, asher and dylan, where it’s like guerilla psychological warfare. topanga has no opinion about zay bc riley doesn’t introduce her friends to her (wisely).

they’re still very common lunch buddies. essentially when riley isn’t eating with the techies (which is only when lucas is there usually) or bothering lucas in the booth once a week, she’s with zay (which usually also means nigel, yindra, and farkle, though not always)

ultimately, i think that when someone asks riley who her best friend is, her mind will always jump to zay first. not even because theyre necessarily the closest at any given time, but because he really was her first life raft at aaa and he extended that kindness to her in a moment where she was so used to being brushed aside, talked over, ridiculed -- and you don’t forget that. it stays with you. so when she thinks about her Best Friend, speed round answer, he will always come to mind first. i think she greatly admires his skillful balance of confidence and compassion, his sarcastic sense of humor, the way he gets so passionate about dance and music and how these elements come together, and his inarguable kindness that is at his core and so fundamental to everything he does (even when his more known reputation is a bit more barbed and witty).

on the flip side, i think riley came into zay’s life at the exact moment he needed it. we know he felt isolated in s1, and even though i think he thinks of nigel and yindra as his first-to-mind best friends, riley was a breath of fresh air who allowed him to be himself with someone who wasnt going to judge him on past decisions or impressions. just like he gave her the chance to define herself in his eyes with his extension of company on that first day, she does the same for him by not making assumptions about him and learning who he is on their terms. i think she’s also just a really great, measured system of support -- she’s not busting his balls or keeping him in check like yindra and nigel do (except when its really needed, like 304), but she isn’t as in awe / romanticized with him like charlie. i think he appreciates that he can go to her for an honest perspective, but she’ll take the care to deliver that honesty in a gentle way. it’s like, he’s tough enough to take a hit, but sometimes its nice to know you have someone who will be kind with you even then.

that’s what is at the core of their friendship overall. kindness.

-- Maggie

#amarakaran #ask and you shall receive #zay x riley #riley matthews #zay babineaux #aaa supplementaries #love them... i do

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flockofdoves · 4 years

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take this with an extremely small grain of salt because i dont know how to articulate myself and its not something i’m saying definitively its just a thought i have sometimes but don’t know what to do with but

autism and adhd are literally not functionally different at all while each label might come at things externally from a different perspective on what it focuses on, even beyond the fact that like barely any contemporary psychiatric diagnosis is actually based on a distinct neurobiological cause, even more than a lot of other diagnoses theres just nothing distinct to me as someone dx-ed/un-dx-ed/re-dx-ed with both autism and adhd whos been involved with some irl and online communities for both to some extent.

but also at the same time even if it doesn’t always match up with who individually gets dx-ed with what (also i think self diagnosis can be incredibly useful to be clear but since i’m kinda talking about the role of mental health professionals like psychologists in our society my wording is more focused on that) just because i kinda see the emphasis on why each of these are seen as disordered very simplistically being centered around people with adhd being “unproductive” in this capitalist system and autistic people being seen as a threat to how class society perpetuates itself through a variety of systems of oppression by not going along with a lot of social norms used in that process (getting off topic but since i think my wordings bad to get an idea of stuff i mean, i think soooo much about the statistics about ppl dx-ed autistic being more likely to be trans/gnc and vice versa)

so like even if it doesnt fit neatly into peoples personal struggles vs diagnoses because of that general trend in diagnoses plus societal perspectives on both, sometimes i want to express frustration with how both in personal experience growing up and in some people with bigger platforms with adhd how they sometimes put autistic people under the bus or just frame their experiences in really bootlicker-esque ways i really really don’t resonate with way more often than i see the same with autistic circles

(also to be clear even beyond making it clear on an individual level theres no real difference between us, that doesnt mean there aren’t issues the other way, shit like aspergers supremacy is extremely harmful and effects dialogue on this subject and didn’t come from a distinction between adhd and autism, or theres how so much media really focuses on “savant” autistic people who can be “redeemed” for productivity in society in ways not usually afforded to adhd. i’d be willing to change my point of view but i do think since “savant” autistic people are much rarer it is more often people perceived as more autistic than adhd get the short end of the stick, but its not a concrete dynamic just something i wanted to articulate venting about)

but yeah. i don’t really think its helpful for me to express that personal frustration without all that prefacing but its just weird and i think about it sometimes

but also this doesnt mean i want to reify those arbitrary distinctions between those diagnoses in the slightest, i think its a really good thing for people who feel comfortable with it to talk about their experiences in a way that acknowledges theres no real difference between us and literally dont care if anyone dx-ed with one also uses the other label. on an individual level we all have different things we struggle with more and less than others and practicing compassion with that is something that even in times of my life where people characterized me on the whole as being very autistic that i needed to remind myself of when interacting with other autistic people who went about things a different way, so on an individual level i dont think anyone should need to worry about “overstepping” by being someone diagnosed adhd who decides to participate in discussions framed around autism or uses terminology associated with autism (or vice versa) because as long as you keep in mind that compassion we all should be having regardless of diagnosis i think its a really good way to build solidarity among us and have discussions that look beyond how our society is currently structured. anyone who wants to participate in bridging that gap isn’t part of the problems i sloppily am expressing frustration with above and i think thats really important for me to emphasize because talking about the problems i think the distinctions psychiatry makes between us in our society creates shouldn’t just sound like me reifying those distinctions

#cpost #does this make any sense lol. i'm so tired but i was just like. fuck it today i will actually express this #honestly this is ok to reblog it sounds like a personal post but i worked so hard on trying to say it so if it feels valuable go ahead mdfgh #adhd tag #autistic tag #brain tag #i need to get better tags i talk about this too much for my brain tag to be such a mess of serious and goofy stuff

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uninterestiing · 5 years

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i liked your post on matteo taking his time to process things, so i'd love to know what your thoughts are on david being outed?

hhhhhhhhh well from what i’ve seen in the tag, i disagree with like 90% of youse and was gonna hold my thoughts till later… but since you asked… yeah i reckon its good writing actually.

(beware under the cut, this is long)

so disclaimers before people get big mad: i’ve actually been in the situation depicted. i’m a gay trans guy who came out in year 12 & to me, it’s extremely realistic. teachers in my last year of high school pulled me aside to say all kinds of nasty shit and the rumour of my transness spread around pretty fuckin quickly. it was a fucked time in my life but i didn’t have any issues watching the last clip, i enjoyed it and found it pretty relatable honestly, especially the teacher bit because its a really common thing trans kids go through to be harassed more by staff than students, but i’ve never actually seen it be depicted before… but i’ll also say, im really not easy to upset and almost impossible to offend when it comes to trans stuff. i work as an openly trans person in the media and my skin is very thick, 17 year old me who was experiencing it real-time would have probably been shaken up a bit.

that said, like i discussed in my other post about this, realism doesn’t automatically equal good storytelling! so what is good storytelling?

big subject obviously, but rn i’m gonna define it as a consistency of theme, tone, and character. (its also how well you tie all those things up at the end but i wont comment on that because… druck ain’t finished yet and we need to remember that!) plus, of course, it’s just… whether you like it? which is completely subjective, and something i can only comment on for myself!

so i think the main issue here is that people expect things from druck it never promised them, and from the very beginning was never going to be.

take the perspective issue for example, which effects tone & character immensely. i’ve seen numerous complaints that the show isn’t depicting the trans issues from an internal perspective. which is interesting, since from the very start, we’ve known that was the case. we knew it was matteo’s season, and we knew how very, very closely skam shows follow their protagonists. everything is from their perspective. so i knew it was never gonna be about trans issues from a trans perspective because david was not the main character, he’s the love interest. that was evident from day one ya’ll it’s how the show is structured. and that is Not Inherently A Bad Thing, it’s just not what some of you wanted.

however… druck has stretched the limits of perspective more than any other version. the texts, for instance, are not just the main’s, and do a lot for fleshing out the background characters. also (and this is thematically important) it showed the way outing / spreading of rumours actually happens irl. re-watching the last clip i noticed that they leave matteo’s POV for a second, and “switch” to david as he’s coming down the stairs, realising what’s happening. not so much as to break the consistency of the show’s structure, but enough to make the audience really understand the gravity of what’s happening. it’s done really fluidly and i thought it was a genius way to both keep it matteo’s story, but also, give that moment a much needed trans perspective, because i really don’t think all that ringing distortion sound was matteo’s panic.

and really, i just don’t think a trans person needs to be the main character of the show for it to be good representation. i think they have done an exceptional job of not tokenizing david by making sure to establish his whole character & his relationship with matteo before his trans identity was confirmed on the show, in the exact same way they do with the other evens and their mental illnesses in every other version. and honestly, when it comes to trans men, there’s very little media stereotypes or negative tropes that they could have conformed to because there’s not enough representation yet for those to have actually formed. like, we know druck won’t kill david off, and i don’t really know any other tropes that exists for trans men in storytelling at the moment. a lot of the show is covering new ground subject wise, they don’t have a script to follow, so some minor blunders are to be expected.

over all, the fandom jumps the gun every damn time. the show decides to have conflict or deal with a social problem and everyone looses it, as if that’s not been the entire ethos of skam since the OG. skam / druck is a teen show that deals with identity issues. every season picks topics to educate on through the story, and they do it with a lot of care and research.that’s the whole deal, it’s why the show exists, fucking of course they aren’t going to brush over trans issues, it amazes me that people thought they would, and that there would be no conflict and it’d play out like fanfiction fluff. here’s another really good post about it.

so obviously, this season is about about being gay and being trans, but specifically about outing, and has stressed this theme all the way through, way more than any other version. so friday’s clip is what i’d call a natural culmination of theme and narrative. in terms of the queer experience, and the trans experience, i think it was a very good idea to take on coming out / outing as a central thematic and narrative through-line, because it’s one of the central things gay and trans people have in common. and then analyzing them both in comparison and contrast throughout the story, really works and makes for good fucking writing, pacing and - yup, you guessed it - consistency.

i find the choice to situate a trans man as the love interest, and therefore, an object of desire, incredibly subversive. and though yes, stories with trans protagonists are lacking, literally any form of story where trans people exist is lacking, and the creators of druck wanting to tell a story about what it means to love & be in a relationship with a trans person is just as important a story to tell as any other, and complaining about what “type” of trans story is more important to tell first, or which aspect of trans existence to highlight more, is ridiculous. at the end of the day, one story cannot cover everything, and the writers had to make choices as to where their focus would lie. and there’s literally nothing wrong with their specific choices in subject matter (being trans in the context of relationship & outing, mainly), other than personal preference.

so like i said in my previous post: wanting a comfort show where trans characters exist, but the trans experience is not plot-relevant, is fine & cool. i really want that too, but not here. getting angry or upset that druck did… exactly what skam shows do… is stupid. and then turning around and blaming your dislike, which is born out of judging a show by the wrong genre standards, on “bad writing”, is just plain wrong. this show is amazingly produced. just… c’mon guys. chill.

(also @ every weird cis person in the tag giving fuckin condolences & saying their askbox is open if someone needs to talk…… stop. literally nobody asked. its so weird. we didn’t put a call out for you to be upset on our behalf. its just a tv show. like its super important rep for us… but its also just a tv show that people can just not watch if its not your cup of tea.)

tl;dr the friday clip was fucking good and made sense because druck is well written, acted, researched and produced, is really not transphobic (in fact i’d say it’s pretty subversive), and it’s also not the creators fault when you’re disappointed by the direction taken in a show that was crystal clear what direction it was headed into!

#druck #ask #well fuck me this was long #please don't @ me i'm tired #mammamiau

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themilky-way · 5 years

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Tired Mornings {t.h}

gif credit: tomhollandcouk on tumblr!

pairing: tom holland x female!reader

summary: you walk into a coffee shop near your apartment to get some breakfast, but you end up walking out of it with more than just a coffee.

warnings: um not really except this is purely fictional so please don’t actually hand out your personal information to ANY stranger it’s for ur own safety

author’s note: my brain cells are going through cell division and I am busting out new fics left and right and I’m so proud! thank u for all the love on my last fic and my motivation levels are thru the rOOF right now so enjoy this. this has also been done before so I did not come up with this fic idea, credit to the lovely person who did!

----------

waking up late didn’t always have its benefits. the immediate hunger you would feel as soon as you opened your eyes in the morning would show itself in a very loud grumbling noise in your stomach. the sun that somehow made its way through the tiny openings of your curtain didn’t help the situation, either.

you struggled to lift your head up from your pillow but eventually you did, gaining the sufficient amount of energy to get up, fold your blankets, and rearrange your pillows together. you grabbed the silky red string that you always used to tie the curtain together and folded a simple knot when you had gathered it all up. beginning to feel like your normal self once again, you walked over to your closet and selected a dark red knitted sweater with some black jeans to accompany it. you tucked your sweater in once both items were fully adjusted and slipped your everyday sneakers into your feet when done.

after your attire for the morning was complete, you parted your hair into two sections and proceeded to braid it, ending up with two neat French braids in the end. you didn't look bad, you thought to yourself as you gave your appearance one more glance in the mirror. for someone who’s apparently starving, you did a pretty great job at getting ready in a slight rush.

deciding that you were better off getting breakfast at a nearby coffee shop, you grabbed your apartment keys and started your journey through the now very crowded streets. you were fully awake now, feeling the fresh morning air flow around you giving you the boost you needed to reach the shop. the light jingle of the bell on the top of the door let the employee who was working quietly behind the counter know that you had entered. since you had rehearsed your order countless of times on your way there, you knew everything word by word with no trouble. walking up to the friendly girl who was ready to type in your order, you told her your desired breakfast.

“Hi what can I get for you today?”

“Hey there, can I get one medium hot chocolate with some extra marshmallows on top and one chocolate chip muffin, please?”

“of course! your total will be six dollars and eighty-seven cents,” the cashier announced. you gathered up the bills and coins you needed and handed the cash to her. once she had returned a couple cents back into your own hand, she motioned for you to wait on the pick up here side of the counter. you both mutually wished each other a good day and you walked over to sit in one of the free chairs they had. you plucked your phone out of your pocket so you could scroll through media while you waited, soon finding yourself enthralled the different posts you found.

a smooth voice broke you out of your thoughts and you looked up to see someone, a man, standing in front of you. his eyes were fixated on your own and it took you a couple of seconds before you realized he was waiting for a response.

you blinked a couple of times while shaking your head as if breaking out of concentration before speaking. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. could you repeat it for me one more time, please?” you asked. your voice was light and softer than he had expected it to be.

“Oh yeah, of course. I was just saying how you must be craving a lot of chocolate this morning, ya know, since you ordered everything with chocolate in it,” he repeated. it came off as more of a ramble, something he soon realized because he started rubbing the back of his neck a little awkwardly.

he thought he had ruined it, made you think he was a weirdo for paying very close attention to your order. he looked at you and he noticed you were staring at him, eyeing him up and down lightly. is she checking me out? he thought. he decided he needed to break this perplexing moment and stuck out his hand in a handshake.

“I’m Tom, by the way. my apologies if that was a little weird but I couldn’t help to overhear you.”

you relaxed a little, and your eyes stopped at his again before a genuine smile formed on your lips. you reached out and locked your hand in his to complete the handshake. “I’m (y/n). and yeah, chocolate was the only thing that sounded appetizing this morning. no worries, I didn’t think anything bad about you, tom.”

tom, from your perspective, was rather attractive. he was toned and not short or tall, either, but the perfect height for a guy in his early twenties (at least you assumed so). his voice was gentle and not too rough like almost everyone out there, a British accent also adding itself into the description. you shook hands thoroughly and tom could see things were starting to fall into place now that you both had introduced each other.

“oh thank goodness, I don’t want to be make you uncomfortable,” tom replies as he places a hand over his chest in relief. you laughed gently and you reassured him you were not uncomfortable but instead taken aback. with all the confusion cleared up, you motioned for tom to have a seat in the chair in front of you, to which he happily obliged. soon enough, a steady and pleasant conversation was created between you and tom. so pleasant that you almost didn't hear your name being called out for your order.

you got up from your seat and excused yourself to go get your items, giving the barista a “thank you” before heading back to tom. as you were walking back, tom stood up and walked a few steps to greet you on the way, evident that your original plan was not to stay since you got a to-go cup. standing a little to close to one another, you looked at him while trying to figure out something to say.

you wanted to see him again, without a doubt in your mind. the only question was, did he? you found yourself attracted to him, intrigued by him in more ways than one. you finally figured out a sentence, one that would hint at another possible meet-up, when he broke your thoughts.

“by the looks of your cup, I assume you don’t plan on staying like I am,” he states. his voice is shaking a little bit and he doesn’t understand the full concept of that yet. it’s never happened before with anyone. “although it was quite short, the time I spent with you this morning was highly enjoyable. very entertaining, actually. so I was wondering if you would like to go out somewhere and get to know each other some more. only if you feel comfortable, obviously.”

he added the last part fairly quickly, his way of telling you that you had the right to reject him if you wanted to. of course, you didn’t plan on rejecting him and you let him know that when you answered his question.

“I would love to go out with you, tom. and if I didn’t feel comfortable, you wouldn't have gotten this far, so stop worrying about that.” you chuckled lightly which caused tom to let out a hearty laugh, eventually dialing down to a soft grin. he nodded his head while looking down at his shoes momentarily and let you know that he would stop worrying, eventually asking you if he could pass you his phone number.

you agreed and you handed him your phone so he could add himself to your contacts. you told him you would text him later in the day as soon as you would finish your daily duties. you and tom both said your goodbyes after that and gave him a soft smile before completely walking out of the warm coffee shop. you left tom with a grin on his face and a rosy hue creeping up on his cheeks while he, in return, left you walking with a skip to your step.

perhaps waking up late this morning wasn’t so bad as it seemed.

#tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #spider-man #Spider Man: Homecoming

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strawbewwysamurai · 4 years

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Is one piece a good show? I haven't had anything catch my eye recently so I've got no manga or anime to watch :(( On that note, any recommendations?

HIYA!!!

Well for one, I'm biased to say it absolutely is! But if you want details then lemme give you some along with some warnings ! I’ll put them under the cut though to avoid a super long ask on people’s dash oh goodness,,,

I’ll make this ask mostly about One Piece, but some quick reccs for you to look into will be:

- Mairimashita! Iruma-Kun!

- Natsume Yuujinchou

- Ao No Exorcist

- Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun [I DIDN’T FINISH IT YET CAUSE ONE PIECE GRABBED ME SO IF THERE’S ANYTHING WEIRD OUT OF THE BLUE IN THE LAST EPS I’M SORRY BUT IT WAS VERY CUTE FROM EVERYTHING I SAW??]

- The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

- Gakuen Babysitters [Again, haven’t finished, but super cute from what I have seen!]

And now it’s time for: Ashley Rants About One Piece ! There’s vaguing/minor spoilers since I’m warning about some stuff, but I’m gonna be as vague as I possibly can !

Good stuff [There’s a LOT so this is just notable things]:

- Found family is STRONG, main focus is more of finding a family you can love and protect and does the same back rather than romance for literally majority of the series. Adults taking in kids is also a huge theme and they canonly call them their kid/they're the parent. And once families are found and bonds are made, it is extremely impossible to break them again. From many events with the Straw Hats, to minor stories out of the main manga/anime with people like Law/The Heart Pirates, you’ll see the absolute most worst things trying to break their bonds apart, but it does not happen. Because the people who made them love and care for each other too much for anything short of a mutual decision to break it will break it.

[I could go on about other ways found family is prominent in one piece, cause it's THAT huge but i'll stop here. But it’s literally one of the main major themes!]

- The lore and story and world is one of the deepest and most engrossing I have ever seen. I used to watch and love Gravity Falls with my sister, and short of having actual ciphers in the show, One Piece is definitely similar in how much it makes you think. There are cameos and characters that pop up at the very start who are extremely important, and you don’t even know it until much further in episodes, by like, a lot. It’s extremely captivating, theories are everywhere for everything, not just what this grand treasure known as the ‘One Piece’ is, but also on so many other little things. And if you think something doesn’t tie together into the story, or a character isn’t going to be very relevant, give it some time, you will be surprised.

- Heroics. The Straw hats are very adamant in the fact they aren’t heroes, despite the thousands of people they have saved and helped in their adventures. I personally love heroes and stories about helping people, so it’s a real attention grabber for me- They are literally just a rough and tumble group of kind people who will help anyone. And when I say anyone, I mean it. They have witnessed pirates they are trying to fight get mistreated by their captain, and their first thought is not to continue fighting said pirates- it’s to attack the captain for treating those who should be family to them so badly. But literally, every where you turn there is a kind act, whether large or small, by one of the characters. Even side characters do it, it’s just all very heartwarming.

- Empowerment. The whole series is about following your dreams, no matter what it may be, and fighting for it. It can be something like finding a legendary ocean that everyone says doesn't exist, to even something minor. It’s about fighting for yourself and what you believe in and having the people who love you there to back you up, or finding people who will do so for you as you move to achieve your dreams.

Bad stuff:

- There are a lot of heavy themes. We're dealing with pirates after all! Extremely sad backstories, especially Trafalgar Law's and Sanji's, kidnapping and destroying human trafficking rings/slavery, government corruption and grey areas- it could be a bit much if you're looking for something solely good times and goofy! I will say though, OP is very good at gags and goofs to balance out, and also inspirational moments that come from the bad- The Straw Hats may be pirates, but they're good people and will help anyone they can in danger even at their own risk.

- A few bad tropes. My fave, Sanji, is main victim to the 'pervert' trope, though at the starting half it's more hes a gentleman who likes ladies too much rather than actually weird for the most part. After a timeskip and dealing with a different bad trope, he's cranked up though so I mostly ignore it cause it REALLY doesn’t fit his character but I'm here to tell you the bad so!

The bad trope he had to deal with is what i can basically describe as trans gags. He ends up on an island full of drag queens/trans people who do nothing but make his life hell/assault him because 'hes not embracing his true self.'

Its a much later arc, and only around for a few episodes really scattered here and there, but if that’s something you wouldn't like you could always skip the episodes and get a run down from me. Drag queens/Trans people are there again part of a different arc around the same time, but they're portrayed much kinder/chiller so it's less of a Deal than the Sanji one.

I will add though that in a recent arc, there is a main lady who we find out is trans, and from my perspective as someone who is trans, it was dealt with respectfully and nicely, much more so compared to the above, but no duh.

- Racism: one of the main characters is victim to 'old media racist designs' and several background characters. The main problem besides that is their designs never got changed after the nineties, so Usopp- one of the Straw Hat’s and an excellent main character- and recurring background characters can be very- yeah, design wise, and even new characters pop up with racist gags inserted. Also after the time skip a lot of characters get lightened to fit their manga colors, which is kinda concerning to say the least.

Now again, this is all off the top of my head, so there could be more good/bad stuff I’m not listing simply because I just woke up and yelled here, so forgive me! But another thing I wish to say is despite the bad, it’s a really good show. Nothing has ever made me cry so hard as One Piece has [especially the Sanji arc I’m currently rewatching as it hits hard and close to home in a lot of ways], or feel so connected to or feel so Seen as One Piece. I relate extremely heavily to Luffy and Sanji especially, including some of the hardships and things they have gone through, so it’s an extremely comforting and inspiring piece of work for me to watch, to the point words can’t really describe how attached I am to it unless I go off on a tangent.

I hope this post was helpful to you though!

#the bad stuff never stopped me from watching but i know it could for some people so i included it to be safe!#ask #anonymous #one piece #but when i say there is a LOT of good like #i mean it its frickin covered in so much good and so many emotional moments #i cant even begin to name them all

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zepdeans · 5 years

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there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3 -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4 -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :(( -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words?? -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!! -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!! -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

#take a shot every time i say whew #fully put more effort and time into this than most of my uni projects xx #its super rambly but thats bc its mostly just my direct stream of thought #also super long! and probably still missing things i wanted to say #AND like 3 weeks late fshfjjkdjkfsd #skam #clownfest 2019 #blabbey

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androdragynous · 5 years

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twitter anon here is your reply post, im putting it under a break bc i dont want ppl to reblog it like a discourse post. preventative measure. also bc its a long post

[ link to my tweets for context ]

Anonymous said to canonkiller: June 2nd 2019, 4:05:40 pm · 12 minutes ago yee haw, u asked something about why sharing an ace identity to strangers is necessary? being ace is something not accepted by others 100% of the time, and it is still an oppressed group which is why it’s part of the lgbtq community bla bla, especially when being horny/making sexual jokes can be the norm, and especially when you want to have open convos about attraction and sexuality. that’s. Kinda why.

Anonymous said to canonkiller: June 2nd 2019, 4:06:57 pm · 11 minutes ago I’d also like to add that! Sexual attraction is weird so that maybe you’re not comfortable with some things as an ace person as others are,, and being ace is seen as negative pretty often. It’s nice to say Hey I Exist

im going to try to phrase this in a way that makes sense but my feelings on the whole thing are a lil nebulous so bear with me on that front; none of this is meant to come across as accusatory or hostile, it’s a genuine confusion when present

i guess where i’m coming from is like. telling strangers that you’re ace is still telling strangers about your sex life, where telling people that you’re gay / lesbian / bi / pan / trans / nb isn’t. nothing about that prior list reveals anything about your sex life, and all of them can be present alongside being ace. whereas ‘ace pride’ is just like... the opposite of a hentai / ahegao shirt or whatever. it’s non-sexual, but in a sexual way, if that makes sense? its like. it’s still information about your sex life that i, as a complete stranger, do not need or want to see.

it also, unintentionally or not, feels like it’s implying everyone else at pride is sexual. as if by specifying, it’s marking the others as others. ‘here are the gay people, here are the lesbians, and here are the ones who aren’t sexual deviants’, kind of. and i know it’s probably unintentional! again, i don’t mean to be like Ace People Are Evil or anything, but it’s just... it feels uncomfortable, as someone who is treated as being inherently sexual for not being straight. and uh not gonna lie but your addition of being horny / making sexual jokes as being the norm for the lgbt community is uhhhhhh not helping with that one, actually, it’s kind of proving it. which is less than ideal.

also - again, genuine, honest question - what is the oppression ace ppl face for being ace? because practically every form of oppression i can think of - being denied housing, jobs, adoption, rights - simply won’t apply in the day to day life of an ace person. from my perspective - which i admit is limited, which is again why i’m asking - the only time you could, for example, be fired for being ace, would be if you routinely brought up that you were ace and your coworkers got uncomfortable about the fact you continued to talk about your sex life or lack thereof. and i don’t think that’s the same as being fired for having a same-gender partner who just exists, because that’s not mentioning your sex life, or transitioning, which also has nothing to do with your sex life.

i... really don’t think that discomfort is tied just to being ace, though? like, a lot of non-ace people are uncomfortable, as an example, kink / bdsm at pride. or horny / sexual jokes (you’ll notice, for example, that i don’t post those despite not identifying as ace). or being uncomfortable with people who make their sex lives or lack thereof a major focus of their identity. there’s no reason for that to be the common ground for ace experience when that’s something... a lot of people don’t like. it’s not like gay people go over to some dude in a hentai shit and start congratulating him. we all think its fucking weird, because that’s being sexual in a place where people aren’t giving consent to seeing it. you know, basic human decency standard.

it’s also... the description of seeing other ace ppl and relating to them is all fine and good, but it’s in the context that like... everyone who doesn’t give you intimate details about their sex life is then automatically not ace. you have no idea! you have no idea about most of the people you see! is a lot of media sexualized? yeah! and a lot of people - ace or not - have a lot of issues with that! it’s not like people who feel sexual attraction are 110% comfortable with some sex scene in a crowded theater, it’s fuckin weird for everyone.

i do also have to bring up my experience w the identity in fandom spaces, which is important, because to me it is PROFOUNDLY uncomfortable when people are like “this child character from this children’s series is asexual and this character is gay!” because it’s like. they’re 12. this is a book series written for twelve year olds. none of them are sexual. pointing out that one character is Very Not Sexual and the other is gay has some aforementioned unfortunate implications about how people view being gay! i have the same concern seeing ace pride flag stamps on a minor’s deviantart profile as i do when i see a fetish stamp there; the simple dread that children are being exposed to sexual content - or being told they are abnormal for not experiencing it when they’re children - and it’s expected to be a point of pride. that concerns me. i fear for kids who are ‘proudly ace’ because, from my experience, the ace people i have met bring up sex far more often than those who aren’t ace or haven’t made it a focal point of their identity. at the end of the day, i don’t want to know about how much or how little anyone, ESPECIALLY A CHILD, wants to have sex! and i think thats a pretty normal thing to not want!

it’s not anywhere near my business unless they are my partner, in which case we can talk about it, like people in healthy relationships do. and if we break up because we can’t reach a compromise, that’s... normal? like, wanting different things from a relationship is generally why things don’t work out. that’s not ace oppression or anything. thats just normal dating.

my question still doesn’t feel answered! it still feels like it boils down to lgbt people aren’t telling people about their sex lives, ace people are, and i don’t need to know why i need to know the details about ANYONE’S sex life without my consent - which i’m not giving when im looking at pride merch on etsy or people’s profiles on deviantart. especially when the meaning of ‘asexual’ has been diluted to the point where it means ‘someone who isn’t wanting sex 24/7′ which is. how most people are.

#patch me through to palaven command #please dont reblog i dont need the disk horse

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savrenim · 5 years

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okay so I’ve got an hour before I’m getting on a plane to visit my family and I haven’t done a long personal rant about my life and/or feelings in a while and, like, I’m having some pretty strong feelings about stories and motivations to write and all that jazz so you know what, stupid long textpost it is

mostly, I’ve been thinking about my....semi-mixed feelings about stories where the protagonist is the most important person in the universe?

like, inherently when you’re writing a novel, esp a 3rd person limited thing, your protagonist is going to be the most important person in the universe. it’s interesting to watch people do things. and there’s, like. a part of it that is The Fantasy of, like, yes I matter, yes I am cool, that makes me want to write it? but it’s really really funny because a lot of my biggest complaints about media (I guess Dr Who and Sherlock under Moffat being the biggest examples) were how boring the protagonist being the most important person in the universe were, and, like, right now every single story that I’m writing or interacting with minus a single campaign that is maybe starting soon is about the protagonist being the most important person in the universe

ifmlam? literally about Aaron Burr being the McGuffin there is a single Seer in the world and absolutely everyone wants the Seer on their side for war and politics and influence and everything, the entire world is obsessed with Aaron Burr. like. that’s the whole plot of the fic. which stemmed from the very real “okay but wHAT IF MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THE MUSICAL WAS ACTUALLY THE CENTER OF ATTENTION” but man past me, you really went overboard

gay murder elf bachelorette? that’s a funny one because it’s still uncertain at least in my mind whether this is a story about Iria Strell being one of the most important historical figures in the Caedic Empire and subsequently the world, or whether or not it’s the story of her best friend Talvus Zhale being the most important person in Caedic history but one of those cool “we’re telling the story of this super influential figure from the perspective of their best friend who was backing them up all the way” and I almost like the latter one more but whether or not Talvus is bigger and more important than Iria, Iria Strell has still done a shit-ton of absolutely groundbreaking research and discoveries herself and even if the campaign stopped right now she’d kind of be just as important as Talvus, there is no denying she’s an influential figure in her own right

Marian Daywrym and the crew of the Asteranthos defs started out as tiny? like, just a crew of scav elves trying to scrape along their living. and they are unimportant but as the campaign has continued and we’ve started figuring out what’s going on in the Many Verses, it’s become evident that the run-ins with the crazy eldritch horrors from outside of reality trying to eat reality and all that jazz have some weird Fated shit going down and the cycle of the universe is pretty much some randos being Chosen Ones and defeating a couple of these gods, and then going back to their rando life? and that right now, we’re the Chosen Ones. we’re halfway through defeating the second of these Deep Ones and we’re fated to go up against a third and then fate has nothing more to do with us and we can go back to living our lives. and, like, why we were fated in the first place seemed really random, we just stumbled across someone who desperately needed help hiding an artifact when we were out scavving and scav elves are really community oriented and, like, tend to try to help everyone they can because it’s really hard to survive in space so yeah we offered her healing and do you need food or a tow and when she just wanted us to take and hide this weird stone we were all “yeah we can roll with this.” but, like. there are story implications at least to me that make it seem like more than a decade prior to that happening at least some of us were already starting to be wrapped up in Fate bullshit so we’re no longer this random crew. we are currently the five people standing between the universe and the things that would destroy it and while it’s a cool concept that, like, we were randos before and are going to be randos again after, we are, right now, the most important people in the universe, even if no one knows or cares

then there’s trash novel, where, like. the protagonist, Saes, is just actively the most important person in the universe because trash novel was supposed to be stupidly self-indulgent so it’s about poly lesbians and has a ridiculous hodgepodge setting of fantasy AND sci-fi and it goes everywhere from ridiculous semi-classical aesthetic high noble backstabbing crazy powerful magic to literal space opera with all the ridiculous time travel and seers and AIs and hiveminds and everything I love so much crammed into one narrative but, like. a fair portion of the main characters get to a point where they’re all “oh huh I’m a god now.” and to a certain degree the balance against that because I’m getting so tired of main characters being the most important person in the universe is that there are other really interesting characters and other people just as powerful and, like. what I want to get across is kind of “the struggles of these people are the most important things to these people and they do a bunch of really interesting shit, but also, there are other groups of equally powerful and important people although maybe not that many out there doing equally cool things.” like. a combination of small and big. but the entirely of trash novel is massively character-driven so, like. I can’t lose the fact that character drama is the most important thing that the world is revolving around?

and then I had a dumb cool idea for sci fi paranormal novellas that, like, are individual short stories that I could write in between all my other crazy writing projects because, you know, I totally don’t have enough things to write

and they hella just kind of start out “let my protagonist be a pretty normal space bounty hunter and then, like. these stories be focusing on a cool arc of just different weird situations that come up”

but then I had a nine hour drive and, like, plenty of time to be super excited because there was a sci fi concept that I’d pulled after having super strong feelings about a character I’d played in a LARP that you know throw it in space and write an original novel about it and who will be able to tell the difference and it fit so well with the setting that the Numanok Files could be in and, like, they became a series and not a one-shot like I’d originally planned both because the ideas were so easy to write disconnected but also because woot woot I wanted to give my protagonist a ghost gf and just. this super old idea that I knew I was never going to write because it wasn’t quite enough to merit a story of its own and didn’t have a wide enough setting suddenly fit so well into this little series of one shot “buzzfeed unsolved in space” idea that literally came from watching buzzfeed unsolved and going “okay but what about in space” and now. lo and behold. while maybe the protagonist isn’t the most important thing in the universe there sure is a lot of shit that revolves around her

and I think it weighs on me because of how not true it is in real life and how much I want it to be true but know that it’s selfish for it to be true?

Iria Strell is the best and biggest example because the last three books have all had a scientific research aspect and the last book has just been a scientific research book, it’s literally been “Iria Strell goes to the foremost research facility in the Caedic Empire and ends up inventing magi-mechanical engineering”

and I want, so badly, so be that important, I want, so badly, for my own research to matter that much, I want, so badly, to figure out something really cool in math and physics and have people remember my name or my theorems I want to matter like that and for a while Marian was really comforting because hey her religious beliefs were essentially about a “god” that isn’t a god it’s just a blob of energy that exists behind the universe that isn’t sentient, but it is good, and when you die there’s nothing after death but you fade into the Helothes and while everything is nothingness for you, you’re also a part of something good. and that was kind of. my “math is the closest you can get to immortality” comfort of hey I don’t have to be important, I can do tiny things but it’s still contributing to the whole of human knowledge, which, like, isn’t sentient but in my opinion it is good and that was kind of this little relief of, like, no don’t hold yourself to this crazy stupid standard your life can still matter because when you’re gone even if there’s nothing else and you fade into nonexistence that which you leave behind isn’t a part of anything sentient or active or that inherently does anything on its own, but it is something that people draw on to affect the world, and it is good

and now Marian is a Chosen One too and it’s like

goddamnit every character that I have now is Special

(not Imah Goblin, Imah Goblin at least is tiny and their story is kind of going to be about the world being really big the same way Friends at the Table always manages to do that in the coolest way possible?)

and there’s just a certain degree to which I feel really frustrated and annoyed at...I guess at myself for wanting something so badly that intellectually I’ve convinced myself is both toxic to myself and to my own mental health, as well as, like. not a good mindset for the world, I don’t think extremist individualism does anything good if there’s ever only one person who can do a thing and they are Irreplaceable and everything revolves around them whether it’s in a relationship or about a skill, like, it just......you leave more behind, in a way, when you’re replaceable. when you’re unique and you’re cool but humans are unique and cool, knowledge is meant to be shared, if your abilities to change the world die with you then you haven’t left behind anything permanent, I want with my life to do great things but there is this simultaneous “I want to be special I want to go down in history” warring with “but you need other people to be just as special if you want things to really matter and last” and just

all of the fiction that I’m pouring my heart into right now is about the former and not about the latter

I guess Marian has a subplot where she’s realized that she’s collected a bunch of cool medical knowledge that other scav elves might not have just because she’s a stupidly experienced medic both being a surgeon/doctor in clinics and the medic on ships and she’s realized that, like, with the uncertainty of “oh shit we might all die trying to take down these eldritch horrors” that maybe she should try to put together everything that she’s learned and leave behind medical knowledge for people but, like. that character arc is only half her character arc, you know? right now it’s kind of being overshadowed by the fact that the whole team are Chosen Ones and are saving the universe

idk

I love all of my stories and my story ideas individually

and definitely the way to kind of avoid the problem is to focus on “you’re the most important person in the universe, but also, there are a lot of most important people in the universe and even though this story is about you it also acknowledges that there are a shit-ton of people out there and glances upon their stories and the world is huge and rich and everything is happening at once and things can be all about you without the universe revolving around you” and that’s. I dunno. it’ll make for better stories so I guess I’ll hella keep it in mind? as well as, like, absolutely everyone I’m writing about/playing right now sans Marian is in the 15-22 year old range, so, like. of course their stories are more self-centered, coming of age is always a weird personal selfish time, and getting older and maturing is about the shift of that mindset from “I’m the one the spotlight is on” to a more mentoring role and, like, fuck even my life right now it makes sense for me to be a selfish protagonist I’m a grad student trying to make it in the world I don’t have the resources or base of knowledge to be the sort of advisor/mentor that a professor is

just

I dunno

I’ve been feeling very ambitious lately because there are two or three new math papers that are maybe going to be published soon with my name on it and my advisor has been writing stupidly good letters of like, all I needed was a letter for the people funding me saying that I was researching over the summer instead of taking summer classes so that I’d keep getting my stipend and this letter fucking sung my praises about how fast I’ve been going and how well I’ve done and my advisor has, like, told me multiple times that this one paper that I wrote in a month and a half is more substantial than most people’s theses that he’s seen and, like, I feel like such a fucking idiot because I barely even did anything it was just that I made a really dumb mistake when we were first talking about testing out cases of having the wrong definition of a positive matrix and then, like, could see the disappointment in his eyes and was like “fuck fuck fuck gotta come up with something better so he doesn’t drop me as his advisee” so just flat-out manically hyperfocused on proving one case and then proved all the cases and it wasn’t even new math it was just reading over every single similar proof until I figured out that oh huh you apply these two theorems in a row and the answer just. comes right out. and he was so impressed when I did nothing? which then after I did some actual really cool math to get a different case but when looking through the literature a second time found that I’d been scooped, someone else had done the same thing for that case four months prior but, like

it feels weird. and strange. and kind of shitty that all my mentors believe in me so much because there’s a part of me that doesn’t know why I’ve been singled out and yeah I’m doing cool work now but, like. I feel just like Iria Strell who is in the exact same boat of basically going “oh shit I accidentally tricked everyone into thinking I was good at science by doing this one cool science thing and now advisors who are way out of my league are being really impressed with me and single-handedly making my career and putting me on important projects and introducing me to important people” except Iria Strell is a goddamn protagonist

the shit that she does is going to matter

she is set up to go down in history, she is set up not to fail

and I’m not, I’m one of tens of thousands of people working on the same subject and I’m going to do cool things but more likely than not they’re going to be incremental because the thing that makes the Einsteins and Newtons and Riemanns and [insert every famous math or physics person here] of history is the dumb luck of stumbling across an interesting question first and it’s not like there’s anything I can do to either get that question or not

but I’m greedy and oh boy do I want it just as much if not more than a slow and steady career of making slow and steady advances and boy am I and have I always been ready to sacrifice so much for that like the only reason well not the only reason but a huge reason my fiance and I work so well together is that she is just as appreciative of ambition as me and actively doesn’t mind, in fact likes, if I don’t talk to her at all for a month because I’m doing important math stuff because one of the things that she liked the most about me was my ambition and utter devotion to it to the point that, like, yes of course it comes before romance that was never a question, we each have our lives and are aggressively independent within that sphere and so our mutual achievements are half of what we’re bringing each other

but yeah that’s the stuff that’s on my mind on the other hand boy is my life going great, I’m producing real research, my advisor is impressed with me, the program financing me is now impressed with my because my advisor wrote a goddamn letter stating that I was so fucking advanced that it didn’t make sense for me to be taking classes anymore he wanted me researching with him full time, another professor who is, like. super distinguished. maybe the most famous professor in the department. actively just sent me an email out of the blue saying that he was so impressed with me in his class that he wanted to be my advisor and if I already had one serve on my committee and I had to send him an email back going “I’m so fucking honored but I kind of already have one maybe two advisors and also, like, I loved your area of math as an undergraduate especially and took your class as a broad horizons thing but this actually isn’t related whatsoever to mathematical physics and functional analysis and not what I went to grad school to do although I might be able to squeeze something tangential into my thesis” and he went “great I’m your unofficial advisor then” and it’s just like

well I guess at least in my chosen field I hella am getting a protagonist’s accelerated storyline right now let’s really hope it lasts because this was everything I dreamed of being and, like, I’m actually getting close to the standards with which I’ve been trying to hold myself so I really really hope that I don’t lose this momentum and at least use the time that I have in graduate school with all these people around me who believe in me so much to do something substantial

#my life #long rant about writing and protagonists and stuff and like #how it kind of relates to my current mindset #and the better person that I wish I could be #but nah I'm selfish #and I still want to be a protagonist #and boy is my life tempting me a lot right now and I should probably fight back harder

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myveryownopinion · 5 years

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What is a sorority girl?

A sorority girl to you is one that parties constantly, solely talks about boys, screams too loud when she sees her friends, talks behind her friends’ backs, obsesses about her looks and social media, is so damned basic that she only drinks iced vanilla lattes from Starbucks, and is someone people don’t respect.

And reading that description, I’m not sure if I would want to be friends with her. Yet, my issue with the above description is that, although many parts may ring true (yes, I do enjoy my lattes very much and sometimes I worry about my posts on instagram) that stereotype is just that: a generalization about a group of people who have typically been seen as shallow, brainless, and unmotivated to do anything other than get up and party.

And I’m ready for the argument you’re about to pose: “You’re just paying for friends! They’re so soulless and hazing is a problem! It’s so cult-y! All you’re going to say is that you do Philanthropy but we all know its just so you can party! Ohmigod don’t you just love your big?! You’re all sisters now!” etc.

Can I just take a minute to say how tired I am of answering those questions. In particular, my ex-boyfriend and his friends, loved to ask me “Wait are you, like, in a sorority or something??” when I would wear my Greek letters (which was most days because of the ease of throwing on those shirts - they were seriously so comfortable though).

Yes, I pay quarterly dues to be a part of this organization, those dues go toward membership, living in the house, maintenance, and a variety of other things. One category it is not going to is “making people like me”. Shocking, right? Yes, I may pay to be a part of this organization, but these girls are absolutely not required to be my friend. I am not friends with everyone in the sorority, there are some girls I don’t know very well, and others who I don’t know at all. Yet, I honestly have no strong desire to get to know everyone here on a personal level because that would be exhausting.

When girls don’t make friends in their sorority, normally they drop. It isn’t because of money that I am making friends. Money didn’t get me out of my comfort zone to walk up to these girls and introduce myself, money didn’t force me to find random hobbies in common with them, money didn’t tell me to go to lunch with the girl who is now my roommate. So, I find that an invalid block. Some girls actually try to embrace it and say “Yeah I’m paying for friends to not be shitty like you” when they’re told that. I personally don’t believe in initiating a fight. Even when my friends rag on Greek Life in front of me, well-knowing that I won’t say much other than trying to defend it to an audience who I know is committed to not changing their minds.

Soulless you say? Nope. Not a single girl that I’ve met in this process is soulless. This doesn’t mean I’m in love with every girl I meet who is involved in an organization, it just means that we all do feel emotions, as flabbergasting as that may seem. In terms of hazing, read my words: Fuck. That.

There are always rumors of different types of hazing, and a lot of the time (at least where I am), that is all it is: a rumor. Yet, the actual hazing that seems to occur in sororities is discussed so often (as it should be because hazing is truly awful) that people seem to think we throw girls on top of a dryer every week to see which part of them jiggles. Newsflash, unless you’re literally a skeleton with no skin, you’re always going to jiggle. And there is literally nothing wrong with that if you’re 120 lbs or 220 lbs - you are all beautiful.

Cult-like? Yep. But it’s fun as hell to chant some weird latin words that you have very little clue the meaning to. And personally, we sing a prayer before formal dinners and although our school is not affiliated with religion (and most of the girls don’t believe in God), it makes me nostalgic for when I used to go to church at home. I think its fun, sue me.

We have a kick-ass philanthropy and there’s nothing you can do to convince me otherwise. We support survivors of domestic violence in our local community as well as donating to national foundations. Literally there are so many people affected by domestic violence and if I could personally try to help every single one of them I would. I sincerely hope you, reader, feel the same because no one (man, woman, or non-binary person) should ever be subjected to domestic violence in any way, shape, or form. Ever. Enough said.

Yeah, my big is pretty great. She is involved in our student government on campus as a Senator, is incredibly stylish, and will drop anything to help you if necessary. So yeah, I adore her because she is a good person, I picked her because we are similarly attached to our academics, and enjoy each other’s company.

Yep, these girls are my “sisters” now. And thank God they are. I wouldn’t pick anyone else to be next to me for this ride. When I come home crying because it’s been a terrible day, or I’m so stressed that all I want to do is drive away from campus and go anywhere other than here, or just generally feel terrible about myself, these are the girls that I will turn to because they love me unconditionally.

A sorority girl is one that parties constantly but studies harder and longer for her upcoming exams, talks about boys but also her passions in music, politics, and art, screams too loud when she sees her friends because they really just make her that happy, talks behind her friends’ backs to compliment them and say how much she admires them, worries about her looks and social media because because there is nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel your best, is so basic that she only drinks iced vanilla lattes from Starbucks which gets her going for her early-morning job or 8am class.

She is someone you should respect, not belittle.

Believe me or stick to your biases, I’m just trying to open your eyes to a new perspective.

Because, to me, that is what a sorority girl is.

#myopinion #sororitygirl

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im-fairly-whitty · 6 years

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do you think its bad that im 17 and still havent had my first kiss, or even held hands with a boy? I’ve had crushes, and gone on some dates, but it never ends up working out. I know im still young and got time to find someone who loves me one day, but i’m always so jealous of people in relationships or when they talk about all the cute things they do together. I think im just in love with love, but no one feels the same way about me as i do about them.

Well, I’m not super sure why you’ve come to me Anon, but you know what, I feel ya, so let’s talk.

First of all, seventeen is a really weird age. It’s the last year before you’re “an adult” (which by the way, I’ll be 24 next month and I still don’t feel very adultish sometimes) and so there’s a lot of pressure to have lived your teenage dreams already before you pack up and ship out to whatever comes after high school. You’ve survived 14 and 15 and 16, meaning you’ve dealt with a lot of crap and survived, making you feel like you’ve gotten the kind of life experience necessary to reach that mysterious level of “understanding life,” like the grownups always talk about.

And to a degree, yeah. Seventeen was the first time I remember actually seeing the world around me and being like “huh, okay, so this is life. I’ve arrived.” It was my mental “save point” for a long time, where I always assumed in my mind that I was seventeen for the next few years because that was an important personal milestone in my self-awareness.

But that said, seventeen is so so young. It’s making my bones creak to type this, but being seven years past seventeen has given me an awful lot of perspective on just how young it really is. You’re aware of the world around you and of yourself, but you’ve only just stepped up to the starting line of adulthood my friend. You’re just getting to the end of your Life Tutorial before level one really starts.

And I’m not saying that like it’s a bad thing, it’s actually a really exciting thing because you have SO many crazy and brilliant and amazing things ahead of you that you haven’t even dreamed up yet, because that’s just how life works. But also be aware that most media targeted at teenagers presents the best years of your life as being contained within your high school years.

Every Disney channel show and even most movies with teenage characters feature guys and gals who have established their personal aesthetic, have discovered their calling in life, have established their friends and enemies, and who most importantly have found their true love, or at the very least have had some very sweet romance experience. All before graduating high school.

This is not real. Life does not work that way. More often than not it’s during college years that you really learn to be comfortable in your own skin, and even then you keep changin gand changing as the years go by, what you do in high school will look laughably inconsequential to you several years from now as long as you did your best and kept your nose clean

But in the moment, when you see other teenagers around you who seem to have this Disney channel dream, it can be tempting to assume that you’re missing out and panic, but it’s important to remember that:

1. Even popular kids and teenagers in relationships feel like their lives are a mess. That’s just what being a teenager is, no one escapes that.

2. Relationships in high school is usually a special kind of train wreck that just teaches you different life lessons, not necessarily better ones. Even when it’s a healthy relationship, just by virtue of the fact that you’re both hormone happy teens trying their hardest to figure things out.

Is it “bad” that you haven’t kissed or held hands with a boy yet? Nah. I hadn’t either when I was your age, but I’ve had relationships and physical affection since then and even though the wait was maddening, when I finally got there I didn’t feel like I’d “missed out,” because I realized it would have been bad timing for me personally to have had a relationship earlier than that.

Is it normal to be jealous of people who are in relationships? Yeah. That’s like literally the most human thing ever. Go ahead and cut yourself some slack for that one, it’s totally normal and doesn’t go away, even though you learn to handle it better after your teen years. (Kinda like acne.)

I really like what you said about “I think I’m just in love with love,” because that shows a really admirable level of self-awareness. You recognize that what you’re craving maybe isn’t the actual person of affection, but the experience of affection. That’s a super normal desire, it’s all the chemicals and hormones in your brain shifting into their places as you mature and saying “you know what sounds great? some emotional commitment and physical devotion. that sounds really nice.”

It’s not your soul crying out because it is incomplete without another person to validate you with kisses. It’s not your value as a human dropping with every moment that your hand goes unheld. It’s literally your brain wanting to try out the new romance extension pack it just installed in your brain and getting mad because it wants to try out all the new levels.

Which is to say, go ahead and relax. It feels like a lot of pressure in your head, but it’s really all in your head. You’re right, you are young, and you have literal decades ahead of you to find people who you click with in a romantic way.

Most of those people will be temporary, and you’ll learn something from each of them, but keep focusing on developing yourself as an individual in the meantime so that when you do meet “Mr. Right” you’ll have developed yourself into the strong and confident person that will be able to build a beautiful relationship with them that can last. And it will last because you will have had the patience to wait for someone who is a real match for you, instead of just settling for someone who will give you physical affection.

Keep on keeping on Anon, being single sucks sometimes, I know, but you’ve got a whole lot of great coming up in your future that doesn’t hinge on having a significant other.

So enjoy loving and building yourself for now. Let the good things come to you as you strive to become the best you that you can be.

#long post #long answer #Wit talks

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itsjustanothertuesday · 6 years

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Already Dating: Bechloe AU

Hi friends, guess who’s back for more fanfic mischief! I wanted to shine some light on asexuality and friendship and asynchrony. I also wanted to drag out some angst because I was feeling evil today. I hope you enjoy it - it’s based on a story from my life.

Description: Beca and Chloe have such an intensely deep friendship that caused everyone to think they were already dating. After three years of secretly hiding her feelings and playing along with the charade, Chloe indirectly professes her love for Beca. Although Chloe was originally being discrete, Beca eventually figures out Chloe's feelings and thinks she may have the same. The only problem is that Beca may be asexual and is unsure about dating her best friend. ---> posted on AO3 by MightyTacos.

Beca and Chloe had talked a lot about love. Chloe seemed to have endless ideas and thoughts about the topic, and enjoyed bringing it up in conversation. Chloe was the epitome of love, since she spoke so passionately and was open and available to the people she met and later called her friends. It was mildly intimidating for Beca, who had never been in a relationship let alone have kissed anybody. Chloe wasn’t exactly bounding from one man to the next either but she at least never judged, which allowed Beca to feel comfortable enough to be honest with her. Sometimes their other friends made jokes about Beca’s love life, but Chloe never did, which is all that really mattered.

Chloe seemed to have all the answers for practically any subject relating to friendships, relationships, and even sex. People asked her for advice and confided in her — it was Chloe, how could you not? She respected people’s privacy and answered in an honest way that wasn’t harsh. The information also never went anywhere outside of who was asking. And after observing this kind of pattern repeatedly ensue with positive results, Beca began asking Chloe similar types of unconventional questions. Chloe was really the only one she got on that personal of a level. However, she had never asked about love. That was until one day she seemed to spit out the question, taking Chloe completely off guard.

“Have you ever been in love?” The brunette piped up from the silence that fell across Chloe’s room as the two cuddled on her bed. Chloe shifted her head against the pillows, furrowing her eyebrows together.

Chloe never expected this kind of question from Beca. She knew she heard correctly what Beca said, but it was almost a little too incredulous. “What?” Chloe asked, prodding for clarification.

“Have you ever… been in love?” Beca sat up from her position against Chloe, gazing down at her housemate from above. “You seem to know enough about it.” There was a weird hesitation around “it,” as if the word was so foreign to her vocabulary.

“Well...” Chloe began, calculating her words carefully.

The truth was, she has been in love. She was still currently in love – in love with Beca. She had met her freshman year, but knew after a few short weeks that she felt something special for her. She didn’t know how to label the attraction initially, just that it made her feel warm and validated in the way her other female friends described about being with their boyfriends. The potential of being into girls that way was also never previously in Chloe’s radar. Even though it was becoming more and more acceptable in the 2010s, Chloe didn’t know there were options other than heterosexual growing up. Although Beca certainly had changed her perspective on the matter, Chloe still stifled her feelings out of a combination of uncertainty and insecurity. Beca read as someone definitely not into girls, and Chloe knew enough stories where people got weirded out when someone of the same gender had feelings for them. In some instances, even finding out someone was gay caused their surrounding friends to act uneasy or just assume they were getting hit on all the time. It was a mess Chloe wanted to avoid at all costs. She would rather just maintain their insanely close level of friendship than lose Beca entirely, so she kept her seemingly ginormous secret from her for the better part of three years. Even now, it was almost confrontational that Beca now wanted to know about that intimate detail.

“I actually have.” Chloe decided to finish, keeping her answer short.

Beca blinked slowly before following up a few moments later. “What’s it like?”

Chloe looked away, trying to collect the essays of descriptions she had about love into a concise answer. How do you answer a question about love when the person you love is right in front of you?

“Love is... home. It’s a bond that spans beyond comprehension. It’s secure, it’s... I just knew.” Although the answer seemed vague, it was as much honesty as Chloe could muster.

And she really did just know after meeting Beca. Chloe did everything with her – they were inseparable. Every meal, moment between class, and weekend was spent with her feisty acapella companion. When they were together all those times they were cuddly, close, giggly, and just overall hanging on each other. Everyone else assumed they were dating except for the very two people the relationship regarded. When Chloe would sit on campus waiting for Beca, other friends walking nearby would ask: “where’s your second half?” When Chloe spent an extended period of time without Beca, she would swirl into a recurrent depression that would rear its ugly head during holiday breaks and vacations. They were just meant to be with each other. Beca and Chloe. Chloe and Beca. It was a staple. It was natural. Everything they did together just screamed more than friends. So of course, Chloe could answer quite easily about love. She knew all the answers and could formulate the beginning of a reply, even without mentioning Beca’s name.

“How did you just know?” Beca interrupted Chloe’s inner monologue, sporting a sense of innocence that forced Chloe to ease her worries about giving herself away.

“I just... did. It all made sense, I don’t know. A lot of people have different meanings of love. I just seemed to know mine when it happened. It was just like, a fact.” Chloe met Beca’s eyes again, trying to source the meaning of her curiosities.

“I just don’t know what it’s supposed to be like.” Beca admitted in defeat, sinking her shoulders and averting her gaze downwards. “How do I know when I’m in love?”

Chloe wished she had a more absolute answer for Beca, but all she could give was varying sentences that just said how she knew what love was when she came across it.

“You’re never, like, taught these things.” Beca started up again, fumbling over her thoughts. Chloe understood her confusion; Beca has had no relationships to give her any sense of judgment besides a guy she asked to prom and dated for a few weeks before deciding she wanted to stay friends with him. As far as outside sources, television and media were often falsified and Beca’s own parents had a messy divorce. None of it was exactly tangible to her.

“I feel like most of the battle is figuring out what it means to you. One day you may just come across it and everything will make sense. It’s not something you can seek or define, you’ll just realize you’ve found it.” Chloe decided. She knew the fairly interpretive answer may not be freeing enough for Beca, but it was all she could give in words.

“Yeah.” Beca finalized, eventually getting off the bed and moving towards the door. She forced a smile on her way out and Chloe let it settle at that, figuring the subject would get brought up again when it was needed.

It was never truly addressed again until a month or so later. The two were in the same cuddling position as they were for the previous conversation, except they were seated in the living room of an empty Bella house. The beginning of the talk mirrored the earlier one: comfortable silence fell across the two until Beca shattered the atmosphere with an interpretive comment.

“You confuse me.” She said aloud, peering at the redhead who sat on top of her lap.

“I confuse you?” Chloe cocked her head slightly, trying to decode the crypt of Beca’s seemingly random thought.

“Well, yeah,” was all Beca could say, obvious that she regretted making her statement since she immediately went quiet and averted Chloe’s eye line.

“What does that mean?” Chloe pressed, peering down at the brunette shifting uneasily in the seat.

“I don’t know.” Beca reported flatly, not contributing much to Chloe’s interrogation.

“Beca.” Chloe said gently, causing Beca to finally make eye contact. “How do I confuse you?”

Beca seemed to shrivel into herself, becoming a smaller core than her already petite frame. It was uncomfortable on her end, only because she was attempting to express something that made little sense to her.

Beca was able to muster meekly: “Well, when you were talking about love it got me thinking. I knew you were talking about me and you were so sure about it… and I think I feel the same way.”

“Wait, seriously?” Chloe managed to squeak out those two words before getting stunned speechless. First, she was confused that Beca was able to figure out who Chloe was indirectly hinting at in their conversation. Beca was smart, but Chloe's answers shouldn't have tipped her off. Second, was this actually happening?

Chloe had dreamed of the day where she and Beca finally realized they had feelings for each other. She previously thought it was impossible, so she let her imagination rule her daydreams to craft an insurmountable count of scenarios where she and Beca started going at it. They started once she realized she had feelings for Beca, and they’d occasionally creep from time to time. She originally imagined it in Beca’s dorm freshman year, where they’d wildly start making out and grinding on her slightly lofted bed. It then moved to different places in the Bella house, or even spawning from a cuddle session. It was almost entertaining to think about because they were things that would never happen – fantasies by brute definition. She honestly never thought this day would fall into current history.

“Yeah.” Beca reciprocated, flashing a timid smile. “I can’t really explain it. You just make me feel… different? It’s different than what I have with my other best friends.”

“Oh.” Chloe immediately lit up, beaming a sloppy grin. Everything was so surreal. “So would you… want to date then? Or what exactly do you want to do about it?”

“I guess so?” Beca suggested tenderly, unsure of how to proceed. She didn’t even think she would get this far in the conversation. If Chloe didn’t bother her for an explanation she easily would have ducked out. “I mean, I may want to talk to someone else about it. You know, talk it out. But yeah."

Chloe easily guessed that Beca was going to call her best friend from high school, seeing as that was Beca’s only connect to a close friendship outside of the Bellas. Although the fact normally would make anyone nervous, Chloe didn’t mind. In fact, she was actually elated that Beca was going to get a “second opinion.” It almost verified their potential relationship. It also meant that Chloe wasn’t forcing Beca into something she wasn’t ready to start. And the two day time period between their conversation about dating and Beca’s first phone call home was probably the best of Chloe’s life. When they went shopping and held hands, it felt greater than when they held hands before. It had a sense or purpose to it. It wasn’t platonic anymore; it was a profession of trust. Everything they did looked the same as it always did, but Chloe was shining with a different light and felt almost reborn on the inside.

There were still a few topics to address, however, and Chloe brought them up sporadically across their shopping trip and over that weekend. For example, it felt a bit odd to have the sex talk, but it was kind of important to mention. Chloe had her suspicions that Beca was asexual, just from how Beca spoke about relationships. Beca was 21 and didn’t care about not having her first kiss, didn’t care about the status of her virginity, and didn’t chase after any boys that Chloe could see. They had discussed the genre of the ace spectrum in the past, but Beca only ever settled on demisexuality. She was still too reserved to consider anything else, and was largely still attached to “normal” sexualities. Since dating was now on the table, Chloe was prompted to ask Beca the mechanisms of their potential relationship.

“So, would this be an asexual relationship?”

“I mean, I would try it for you.” Beca decided after a moment of thinking, saying the word "it" rather than uttering a physical word relating to sex itself.

“I wouldn’t want to force you to ‘try it’ if you didn’t want to. We can keep it as an asexual relationship, it’s basically what we’ve had for like three years already.” Chloe added. The emotional fulfillment of her time with Beca was enough already, sex didn’t have to be added for it to be meaningful.

“We weren’t dating though.” Beca continued on her same viewpoint on asexuality, framing it as a "term" people liked to use rather than a real identity. Despite the fact their lasting friendship wasn’t as platonic as she was led to believe, she carried her stigma hard.

“I know,” was all Chloe could say, slightly disappointed in Beca’s narrowed thinking. Chloe wasn't going to attempt to have the same Tumblr-described sexuality talk again.

The conversation about dating halted until that evening, after Beca went to video call her friend back home. She took her laptop and charger to another room, and Chloe was left waiting with baited breath. Chloe had spoken with Beca’s friend from home several times. She had jumped in on Beca’s previous phone calls and she was even friends with her on social media. Her friend from home was nice, but opaque about supporting gay rights. When Beca came back from her call, she said her friend was “neutral, but she shipped it.” Chloe took that as a good sign.

“I’m gonna call my dad next.” Beca stated matter-of-factly, as if that was on the table the entire time.

Chloe had met Beca’s dad a handful of times, but she did not make a good first impression. She was boisterous and loud, attempting to command the group of Bellas during a practice for their choreography. She was also seemingly distracted, but she at least managed to introduce herself. Each time after the first, Chloe’s interactions with Mr. Mitchell were polite, but she often held herself back because she sensed an aura of judgment coming from him. She neutered her personality and tried to put on a soft persona, although she occasionally failed miserably. According to Beca, her dad also compared to Chloe to Beca’s high school friends. to Beca, this was something of normalcy, but to Chloe it was rather offensive. In all honesty, Chloe was not a fan of him.

“Okay, yeah, go for it.” Chloe managed to reply, knowing nothing she could say would change the situation otherwise.

“I don’t have to tell him you reciprocated feelings, you know. Just what I feel.” Beca added before walking out the door, realizing that Chloe’s privacy would be just as broken as Beca’s.

“Yeah, I mean, just talk about what you need.” Chloe reassured her, even though she was secretly scared shitless.

Although a few hours passed between the first call and the second, Chloe was mainly in a positive mood. Passing your partner’s best friend test used to be a huge measure of approval. Especially since Beca would be crossing two milestones, one dating and one dating another woman, Chloe was glad they had some outside support for her.

Whilst the call ensued, Chloe cooked dinner in the house’s kitchen. She tried not to eye the clock as much and let time pass naturally. Soon after she finished eating, Beca returned from the other room and sat with her computer at the kitchen table. Her face wasn’t the same as before she left, and it looked almost red and troubled.

“So?” Chloe decided to break the silence, hoping for good news.

“My dad doesn’t think it’s a good idea.” Chloe heard, heart sinking into her chest and filling with the weight of a sunken ship. “He says I’m just confused. And that we just have a special friendship.” Beca dared to continue, looking at Chloe with a flat expression.

“But… it’s not up to him?” Chloe half questioned, sitting in disbelief. It was getting harder and harder to listen to Beca just spew out information, with little thought to her own autonomy. Why does she care about what her dad thinks?

“I don't want to regret not trying…” Beca finally answered, looking towards her feet. “But I don’t want to ruin our friendship at all, either.”

“Well, why don’t we try?”

“Don’t we have different needs? I won’t be able to satisfy you sexually. You wouldn’t be happy.” What on earth happened on that phone call.

“Yeah, but I said we didn’t have to have a sexual relationship, just a romantic one. Asexual was fine for me.” Chloe sputtered, unable to grasp what was unfolding. It was like speaking to a different version of Beca.

“That’s not, like, a thing.” Beca continued to reiterate this flawed concept of heteronormativity, concentrating on the bizarre effort that atypical was somehow unacceptable. “I don’t know, I just don’t want to lose our friendship. Wouldn’t it be better to keep it how it is now?”

Chloe had nothing else to argue for, seeing that it was a losing battle. “Yeah, probably for the best.” It would probably be worse to be in a relationship where someone was miserable or only staying in it out of guilt anyway.

Beca picked up on her melancholic tone and hesitantly asked: “Can we still be the same? Nothing would change?”

“No, yeah, we’ll be fine.” Chloe couldn’t even convince herself otherwise, but it worked for Beca at the moment.

The last glimmer of hope Chloe had died in the kitchen that night, and she slowly started to accept the same odds she bargained for before there was the possibility that she and Beca could date. It only hurt more this time because there was a final answer to the question Chloe always played around with, and that Beca was increasingly more hyperaware of how the two looked like on the outside. The usual jokes Chloe or the other Bellas would crack about Chloe and Beca dating were quickly followed by a harsh “we’re not dating,” from Beca. Chloe knew they wouldn’t date, and they obviously had several conversations about it. But the repetitive reminders hurt exponentially each time they were enforced, and Chloe started to pull back on her affectionate measures.

Chloe spent less time with Beca and instead delved her free time into her studies, since she was actually trying to graduate this year. She spent more time at the library and more time with her classmates doing group study dates and late nights on campus. She increasingly became close with a few students in her major, and quickly found herself hanging out at their house or going to parties with them. It was an escape, if anything, but Chloe couldn’t bear to deal with the deafening loss she had been experiencing every time she went back to the Bella house. Chloe’s plan was working well for her, but Beca quickly picked up on their lack of time together. It became a topic of frequent arguments, which usually resulted in Beca breaking down crying and Chloe having to reassure Beca that she didn’t hate her.

“You don’t even say ‘I love you’ anymore.” Beca would sputter between sobbing gasps. Chloe knew she didn’t say it, and she stopped on purpose. She wasn’t going to live a stifling lie anymore. She couldn't.

“I know, and I’m sorry,” was all Chloe could ever say. Beca’s breakdowns would occur several times a week, and Chloe easily ran out of new things to say that wouldn’t blatantly admit that she was pulling back.

“You don’t even hug me anymore.” Beca would also challenge, knowing that Chloe was the one who actually loved hugging and affection. Chloe pretty much converted Beca to be a hugger; Chloe was constantly infringing onto people’s personal space, so it was inevitable that all of Chloe’s friend’s would have to be huggers too.

“I know, and I’m sorry,” Chloe would repeat, unsure of what else to add to the conversation. She didn’t want to say that she’d start doing it again because she honestly didn’t want to get back into those old habits. She didn’t want to be part of the dating façade that had consumed almost three years of her time and attention when she could have found someone who actually cared for her in the way that she cared for everyone else.

“Why? Why have you been doing this? You choose them over me now.” Beca indirectly referred to the new friends Chloe had made from her classes; ones that Beca saw her texting or hanging out with constantly.

“It’s not a matter of who I like more, it’s not like that.” Chloe tried to reassure Beca, since she still hung out with the small brunette at the house.

Beca’s immaturity exponentially grew, as her reasons became more and more insecure and convoluted. “You don’t even hang out with me anymore.”

“Because I can’t keep acting like your fake girlfriend!” Chloe lost it and spat out, sternly raising her voice over Beca’s crying. “We’ve put on this charade for like, three years now! Everyone thought we were dating. We acted like we were dating. I can’t keep pretending to do all that shit. It’s wasted so much of those years. I can’t keep pretending to be your girlfriend if you’ll never grant me that title.” She finished, finally stating all of her building thoughts across the last few weeks out loud. It almost felt like a purge, or an appendectomy. It fucking hurt, but it was out and gone now.

“Okay, fine.” Beca almost whispered, moving to leave the room to which they were arguing. Chloe let her go without as much of a hindrance.

A month passed. Things weren’t great, but they were still friends. At least, they were still talking. Living in the same house certainly enforced that, and having mutual friends brought them together during events. But it was not fine and dandy, and clearly a lot less gay. So when the semester ended and summer came around, everything ultimately came to a stand still. Chloe got an internship at an animal hospital, and Beca got an internship at a small music management firm. A couple of the Bellas also stayed around for summer, so the Bella house was still populated at times. Although Chloe’s physical room and furniture were still in the house, she didn’t sleep there. She ended up crashing on the pull-out couch of the living room that belonged to the friend she met in her major. Every now and then she would come home to do laundry and swap out clothes, but she’d always leave with a duffel bag full of stuff and not return for another week or two. Beca tried to reach out to her once, inviting her to come back home to hang out and bake. Chloe didn’t answer. She was too busy sharing the pull-out couch with another girl, one who could actually tell the world that they were together.

#I love some good angst #bechloe #bechloe au #bechloe fic #mine #angst #pitch perfect #beca mitchell #chloe beale

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yoolee · 6 years

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Must be those beautiful feathers, my goose princess 😘 here’s an encore, muhahahahhah 1, 2, 3, 14 and 34 please darlings~ sankyu~

(lee is a clumsy goose space cadet and answered this personally and incomplete first, thank you for the resend!)

1. Describe your comfortzone—a typical you-fic.

Modernfluff, involving 3 or more characters, a decent amount of nonsense and fluff,with barely relevant parenthetical asides and lotsa commas/run-on sentences.Very slice-of-life stuff. The most comfortable zone for me is a conversationalzone! @han-pan WHO HAS HAD THE JOY struggle of turning my longer stuff intosome semblence of readable, once pointed out that I write like a slam poet - Iuse commas to indicate verbal pauses, and it was SUPER EYE-OPENING. My writingtends to be a transcript of a mental story I told myself, and it reads as such.

2. Isthere a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

I am asucker for fake relationships. I love them.

3. Isthere a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Probably??Dunno. There are definitely some kinks out there that are not my wavelength, sothey won’t ever come up in my smut, but that’s all I can think of off the topof my head.

34. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

Ooooohman. You are going to make me voice an uncomfortable opinion my friend! I couldplead the fifth but, I imagine my perspective is a weird one. My thoughts onnon-con and dub-con are lengthy and complicated. I have written 4000 words onconsent, experience and fanfiction HERE but Iwill attempt a more succinct summation.Shortest version - I understandwhy this content exists, I’ve consumed it myself as a weird attempt to deal/normalize/control my actual experience with nc situations, and I consider that consumption independent ofcreation - from a creation perspective, content creators and media need to tomore to normalize consent, and share the narrative of its ease, value, andimportance, because there IS so much media that lacks it, which I legitimatelybelieve led to at least one of my own situations. Inadvertent exposure todub/noncon content is the LAST thing developing or undecided or inexperiencedminds need.

First of all - I’ve got some snarly, unpleasant, awfulIRL experiences, some of them as a very young Lee, that color and complicate myperspective, and I have not necessarily explored or dealt with them in ahealthy way. I have issues, not the least of which involve control, and nosmall wonder. Frankly, one of those ways, healthy or otherwise, I have dealt has beenthrough the consumption of dub-con/non-con content. Which leads to –

Second of all - I recognize that fiction is not reality,and that we have complete control of the fictional spaces we experience,therefore making exploration (and control) of themes we cannot condone and perpetuate inreality sometimes a safer option than others. The consumption of content is our own choice up until it becomes a basis for actionin reality. So long as it does not do that, as long as you are not taking the existence ofsomething in fiction as a justification of its existence in reality, or areason to perpetuate it in reality, and so long as you are not exposing anyone else to a narrative that may shape their opinions(which is to say, you are in control of your own reaction, you are NOT ofanyone else’s, and so should not risk exposing someone to something that they mightthen use to justify an IRL action that you would not) it’s not as much of acontradiction as it might look like to someone without that experience of notbeing in control. I read a lot of books about fictional fantasy wars too,doesn’t mean I condone it. I’ve also never been to war - I would be curiouswhat a former soldier’s perspective would be. I think as long as it is in acurated and controlled space, where you have to go GET it instead of stumble onit,that’s better than it just being out willynilly. I can openly say my feelings are complicated and probably hypocritical.

However, mostimportantly, Third - Ithink we have a responsibility as content creators to create whatwe want to see perpetuated. What we want to see more of. With that in mind, asa content creator, at complete odds with my content consumption, I work really hardto normalize consent. I don’t think consent is as normalized and prevalent asit needs to be. I DO think that the lack of it in our media contributed to meending up in situations where I was not given the choice to consent, did nothave the knowledge of how to safely express my LACK of consent, nor theknowledge and comfort of knowing that I had the choice whether it was offeredor not. I don’t begrudge people who write what they need to write to deal withwhatever is going on, and I understand the need to put it in public spaces tobe validated, even if I personally can’t ever justify doing so with that kindof content. Because it shapes us. I’d rather be able to look back on my workand say, somewhere in the back of someone’s mind, when the moment comes,they’ll open their mouth and say, “You good?” and get “yeah” before continuing,because they read that once, than anything else.

#tw: noncon #tw:dubcon #well this isn't terrifying to talk about at all #but I think acknowledging coping with trauma #is not always linear or sensible from the outside #is probably something I'm okay with saying

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20qs20somethings · 7 years

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Gabe, 26

1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation? Dissatisfied, Driven, Creative

2. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today? I think for me it was commencement in college. I went to Brown University and my parents showed up. Previously I had kept my life evenly divided. My social friends from school would exist in one realm and my family life existed in another realm. In that way, I could create these divides like latino culture and family life existed in one sphere and friendship and academic endeavors existed in another.

For me, my identity as a gay man was always more open with friends and academics, I was very open with people in school, about who I am and I was less so with my family. When my parents showed up to commencement it was weird because it was the first time since my parents brought me to school. So we’re sitting down and the president was flagged by two things that were draped by the windows in the building behind her. One was the Brown University flag and the other was the LGBTQ pride flag and I remember my mom turning to me and saying, “Oh that’s a weird thing to choose to hang behind the President to welcome new students.” In my head, I was like, “that’s exactly why I’m here.”

It was weird to feel that tension and to be in a moment where I sort of have to own it because these things are coming to a head. I can’t keep aspects of my personality separated and I think that moment was a weird catalyst for me where I was like, I have to invite my parents into this world and explain what it means to me instead of keeping a divide. I think that was a weird small first step in a lot of steps I later took as I became more comfortable with myself talking to them very honestly about things I wanted to do and my own identity.

3. What’s you’re relationship with social media like? I love and hate it. I used to think Twitter was only good if you’re a celebrity or news outlet. Why would you want to read what people are doing throughout the day? But I’m realizing that social media is about how you use it. Yeah, there’s bullying, shitty language, and anonymous trolls, but it’s also a platform to reach people and engage people in terms of activism and in a message you’re trying to share. I think it exists in this intersection of entertainment media and journalism in a weird way.

I think before, if you wanted to reach an audience it was through TV, movies, or news. Now you can build something from the ground up and it feels a little more democratic that if people like it, they’ll come to you and return to it. So i think there are pros and cons but ultimately, I think I’m embracing its advantages as a platform.

4. Selfies: Thoughts? I don’t take a lot of them. I have more lately which is interesting. I know a lot of my friends are really into owning the selfishness of their selfies because it’s a form of self care and encouraging them to be themselves and appreciate their own body and I think there’s something empowering about that. So I think selfies are fine, they’re silly and they’re good. It just depends how you frame things and how you view it. I think if you don’t put too much stock into how people on the internet receive you and you’re not obsessed with taking selfies to try to project some perfect image of yourself, then it’s fine. Embrace your face.

5. Who or what is your biggest motivator in life? My mom. My mom got an associate degree and had me at twenty. I can’t imagine putting aside my social life and being a frivolous young person to take care of a child at twenty, so infinite respect to my mom for those sacrifices. I think just seeing her drive in making it work within her means has always inspired me to push more and do more.

So if I were a twenty year old with an associate degree, a crappy job, and I had a child, I don’t think I would’ve been able to push through those conditions the same way she did. So if this woman can do that, I can succeed when she’s laid out a red carpet in front of me to have those opportunities. I’ve seen what my mother's gone through and the sacrifices she’s made so that I can have better opportunities and a better life and I don’t want to take that for granted.

6. Do you believe in love? I believe in love, I don’t necessarily believe in the way we’ve packaged ideas of love or the way we define love. I always want to push people to think of love beyond a romantic sense. I can love people that I’m not having sex with or want to marry. I love my friends, and sometimes I love my friends more intensely than I love people I’m in relationships with. I believe in love but I also believe in expanding the definition of love or the ways we can love. I think American culture is really eager to box in ideas of love or appropriate expressions of love. So yeah, I do believe in it, but I don’t think it’s like the stuff of Hollywood romcoms, I think it’s supporting your friends everyday and being there when someone is having a hard time, that's love, and I believe in the human capability to love.

7.Fill in the blank: “Happiness is _______” What you make it. Making your own home, your own family, your own goals, and holding yourself to your own standards.

8. What are your thoughts on race? Racial difference is still a thing that exists in this country and as much as I love a world where we don’t have to talk about racial difference, we exist in a world where people are treated differently because of race. So yes, I think it’s something we have to keep talking about and it’s something we have to learn to talk about in honest ways because I don’t think we can move forward on the burden that comes with focusing on racial difference until we’ve owned our history and can truly create a world where people are not judged based on race.

9. Do you think you’re represented in things you consume in media? Yes and no, I think I’m seeing it more and more. I think it’s constantly changing so I think I’ve seen more latinx representation in the news certainly. Pointing to Maria Hinojosa, Soledad O’Brien, Maria Teresa Kumar, these are latinas who have really carved out a place for us to speak about our issues, queer activists like Jose Antonio Vargas, these are people I’ve seen as role models in the world of activism and not just engaging them but as people who were showing up in news and media. I think it’s so cool that people are turning to these activists as resources and voices to paint the full picture. So connecting with them through my work has been great, but I see people like that are changing it. So I want to support people who are changing the conversation and providing visibility in the right ways.

10. Is college overrated? I don’t think an education or knowledge is overrated, I think college is overpriced. I think college is important to keep pushing yourself beyond what you thought possible or were normal. I really didn’t push the way I thought about the world until I got to college, I didn’t know the rich history of activism and struggle in Puerto Rico until I got to college and started pushing myself.

So I think furthering your education whether that is at a traditional college, through a community college, through taking classes that are tailor made to what you need, whatever you want to do, I think it’s imperative to push your education beyond high school and it’s imperative to keep pushing the limits of your knowledge and experience. I don’t think the only place you can achieve that is at a college where you’re paying 50k-60k a year, but it was the best place for the things I wanted to do and I think I’m better for it.

I also think it offered me an opportunity that taught me the ways I’m privileged and how I have to own and use that for the better. Because I didn’t really understand the privilege it was to go to a university and be able to get scholarships for that until I met people from other backgrounds, people I wouldn’t have met in high school or in my hometown and I understood the sacrifices they went through to get there. Oftentimes those sacrifices were more than what I had sacrificed so it put my life and my story into perspective.

11. Would you rather have security or fulfillment in your work? Fulfillment. I’ve been let go a couple times from jobs, I’ve seen other friends let go. I’ve felt very dissatisfied in some work that i’ve done and when that’s the case and even when I feel like I could get fired or even when I have been laid off, I’ve been able to build something I’m happy with. To me, work is about gaining valuable experience and building friendships and connections, and you can do that anywhere. And you can only do that if you’re satisfied and surrounded by people that are doing work that satisfies you.

Fuck job security, if you can’t find job security in the company someone else has made, make your own thing. Go out and find a place that wants you. I think job security is overrated, if you haven’t pushed to get unionized in the workplace, you should always treat your job like you could be let go, and you’ll be owed nothing. So always have something that you own and that’s yours to fall back on or in your pocket. If you’re dissatisfied, then make it happen and be satisfied.

12. What do you want out of this life? I just want to be happy and comfortable, honestly.

13. What would you say is your biggest character flaw? Not taking enough risks. I think I get really comfortable in certain routines and I really have to build up to make those bold choices or take that leap. What I wish I could do more is own that choice and that impulse earlier. A lot of times I think it’s easy to get stuck in a daily, weekly routine. I’ll go through periods where I go straight home after work and write a few jokes, but I stay home. Part of that is a social anxiety because it’s comfortable, I’m in my home, it’s something I can control. So I want to give up control and take leaps so I think that’s something I want to do more of in the next few years.

14. What’s something that makes you angry? Bullying. If you’re making fun of someone because they’re different than you, like come on, it just speaks so much to your insecurities and it truly is helping no one.

15. Do you think our generation is too focused on being politically correct? I think there’s a difference between political correctness and civil discourse or kindness. I don’t think it’s wrong to push for kindness, I don’t think it’s wrong to treat every human being as if they are deserving of the same rights as everyone else. To me, political correctness is a word that means putting a spotlight on one issue at the disservice of everyone else.

But to me, movements that focus on trans rights or black lives aren’t doing it at the disservice of everyone else. They’re saying “hey, most people or groups are offered this comfort in life and we would like the same thing. We would like you to be aware of the history of these words or ways of treating people.” To me, these movements aren't about policing language, people can say whatever they want, there’s nothing we can do to change that. When protesters, activists, teachers, students, kids ask you to call them a certain thing or speak to them in a certain way or encourage you to ask them how they’d like to be referred to, I don’t understand how that is a threat or risk or ruining our culture.

It’s just opening up our world and vocabulary to be more inclusive of things. Saying we’re too politically correct is just an easy out to not hold people responsible for the impact their words can have particularly as politicians. Because while your speech shouldn’t be policed, you should be aware of the fact that as your speech as a public figure, as a politician, has impact. So in those instances you do have to push back. But to me, ultimately what people are calling for political correctness is just a push for kindness and open mindedness.

16. How do you want to be remembered? I would love for people to say that I taught them something and I made them laugh.

17. What are qualities that you value? Honesty, a sense of humor, compassion, generosity, a sense of responsibility, self awareness, open mindedness.

18. What do you hope 30 will look like? I want to be able to build something from the ground up, specifically something that can help give a playful or comedic platform to people like me. I know that I want to stay working in satire and politics. I know I want to keep giving a voice to the voiceless and I know I want to keep making people think about things that they otherwise wouldn’t have to think about or that they otherwise wouldn’t have been taught.

19. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn? That your job doesn’t define you. I think while I was getting a degree and looking for work I was like, “I have to find something that’s perfect for me, speaks for exactly who I am, and lets me be true to myself.” and no job is going to give you that opportunity so long as you are working for someone else and collecting a paycheck, you will always have to temper something about yourself.

I think it’s important to draw that line and realize that the sacrifices you make for a job don’t define you. If it feels like it’s getting to the point where it’s getting to you and the sacrifices you make for the job are making you less happy as a person, you’ve gotta let it go. I define myself as a writer, comedian, activist, but those things don’t define me. I think those are all aspects of my areas of interest and personality that contribute to a broader picture.

Your first job out of college isn't going to be perfect and I really wanted it to be perfect. Make a few sacrifices but never let those sacrifices change who you are at the end of the day and don’t let your work swallow you whole. Every job is an exchange. Sometimes when people are celebrating a job, they might not have it a year later and they might be in a tough time or six months down the line they might realize it's not for them and transfer somewhere else.

20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with? Learn to laugh more. I don’t think laughter is always frivolous, I don’t think that laughing at something means you don’t care about it or you think it’s dumb or silly. I think laughter happens in many ways. We laugh when we learn something surprising, we laugh when someone looks ridiculous, we laugh when we’re really happy and I think owning and leaving room for laughter and joy will do so much work for making people happier.

#20qs20somethings #millennials #interview #love #advice #college #LGBT #latinx #social media #selfies

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