#like not only is it a fascinating relationship between two characters regardless it’s also really interesting through the lens of Jason and
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United States Junior Gymnastic Team of ‘88-‘89
Catherine Todd née Johnson & Mary Grayson née Lloyd: I hope we meet again (I’m letting you go)
@kindlespark / The Book Thief, Markus Zusak / ? / dc comics / Diary, Chuck Palahniuk / Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace / Always Gold, Radical Face / Us Against You, Fredrik Backman / @inanotherunivrse / I Wanted to Leave, SYML / ? / ? / Psychogeography, Chelsea Dingman / @leonardospoetry + me / On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, Ocean Vuong / Past Lives (2023) / A Letter to Love, Caitlyn Siehl / @archivegeo / In a Dream You Saw a Way to Survive, Clementine von Radics / Always Gold, Radical Face / Dorothea, Taylor Swift / Stand by Me (1986) / dc comics + On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, Ocean Vuong / Life After Death, Laura Gilpin / Lost Without You, Freya Ridings
#target audience: me#but come on guys. Catherine loves her people and her city and her home and her books. And Mary needs to leave. To fly. To perform.#like not only is it a fascinating relationship between two characters regardless it’s also really interesting through the lens of Jason and#Dick as brothers.#Because yeah Dick can’t stay in Gotham and Jason will always be coming back#But at least they found each other again I suppose#At least they have that#Jason Todd#dick grayson#mary grayson#catherine todd#dc comics#batfamily#web weaving#anyways I hope this isn’t too confusing and feels like a dialogue. Also I tried to incorporate writing/books/stories on Catherine’s end#And flying/weather/space on Mary’s
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I have big feeling about Richie Jerimovich. I have big feelings because as person, I don't like him. The only times I really like Richie when he interacts with Carmy. And there is something about their relationship, the awkwardness, the lack of really knowing each other combined with a very real common history that fascinates to me. And it fascinates me because it gives Richie a very genuine depth that asshole characters don't usually get without betraying who they are.
Richie and Carmy are very much trying to be each other's stand-in for Michael. And they fail a lot. Not just because neither is Mikey, but because they're not friends. They might be the best example of true family, a person you wouldn't ordinarily know but are dependent on regardless. Their first scene is Richie mad at Carmy for not coming home immediately when Mikey died and leaving Richie to pick up the pieces. And Carmy's a dick right back to him calling out the fact that for all the family this and family that between Richie and Mikey, Mikey still left The Beef to his real brother.
And it makes me wonder how much of Richie's life has/had been given over to Mikey and the Berzattos in an effort to be part of the family. It seems pretty obvious that Richie hasn't always managed The Beef. He went to trade school, worked for Cicero, had a wife though Mikey and The Beef are likely the reason she's an ex. But Richie also knows he's fucked up. It's his Xanex. He goes out on a real date in a nice suit. Even when he ends in jail it's in the act of protecting Carmy from getting hit during the bachelor party/melee. He's an adult. Maybe not a great one and still an asshole, but he knows he's a grown up. I'm not entirely sure Carmy does. He stays all night in the police station after Richie is arrested and uses the two-week parachute as bail money, but that's not smart. That's clinging to the last vestiges of his dead brother. And yet, it's Richie who says he only has Carmy left. It's sad. One of the saddest admissions of a show about grief. Carmy does his best for Richie. He genuinely cares, I think, but he's not much to lean on. Carmy has not just his own shit to deal with he has dreams that Mikey set up so he could follow them through and ultimately a partner in Sydney who can make them happen.
I end up feeling really bad for Richie not because he's asshole but because he let Mikey, charismatic, dynamic Mikey be his whole world when he should have been saving himself. Now, he's left trying to figure out how to mourn his best friend, not a brother, not even a real cousin, and that's quite genuinely sad.
#text#richie jerimovich#the bear fx#the bear hulu#carmy berzatto#mikey berzatto#mourning and grief#the downside of found family#loss
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So I haven’t been fulfilling my obligations as resident Scike enjoyer recently and I finally have a night with no coursework due, so here’s a meta analysis post about my interpretations of Scott and Mike’s characters, primarily as told through their relationship with one another. This isn’t necessarily accurate, some of these are definitely reaches or headcanons with little basis in reality, it’s not like a serious essay; this is just for fun since I find their relationship (or I guess, my idea of their relationship) fascinating 👍
So, naturally we start with episode one, where we’re introduced to Scott and Mike as well as the other generation two characters. Scott, off the bat, is unfriendly and untrusting; even before Jo says anything, he eyes her with malcontent. Scott looks at Mike with a seemingly annoyed expression when he’s introduced next. Mike, in contrast to Scott, is smiling and taking in the view. Scott notices immediately when Zoey nudges him and stares at her arm; I don’t think this demonstrates any sort of feelings for Mike on Scott’s part, yet at least, but rather it seems to display his social awareness. He’s already trying to gauge both Mike and Zoey’s personalities and dynamic— he could also be judging them, or a mix of that and the aforementioned gauging. Regardless, Scott’s already shown to be suspicious of others.
Meanwhile, Mike’s shown to form an attachment right away, specifically to Zoey. Their very minor interaction causes him to smile and espouse that the view is beautiful, though he’s obviously regarding her. This causes him to let his guard down, along with Zoey, which leaves both susceptible to being shoved out of the way by Lightning. Take note of this, as Mike’s desire to form stable relationships becomes a hallmark of his character. The dichotomy between Scott being untrusting when he should be and Mike being trusting when he shouldn’t be will become a running theme as well.
The next time we see them both is after the intro, when Scott refuses to help Cameron and calls him a “spaz”. This is contrasted with Mike being too kind with Zoey when they should be helping Staci out of the water, which causes him to be pulled underwater by her and could have led to them both drowning. This not only aligns with our theme of trust vs lack thereof, but also Mike’s goodwill vs Scott’s lack thereof again. It seems that what Scott needs, Mike supplies to a harmful excess; however, as we will touch on later, both of these incidents with Mike only occurred when there was another person there (Zoey) who he sought to impress or bond with. Right now all of these exist in an unjoined microcosm, but once again, scenes like this repeat throughout the season.
Another scene worth noting is Mike’s confessional directly after. Mike’s already attached himself to Zoey, admiring her kindness and immediately jumping to the idea of a relationship with her. We’ve already established that Mike wants human connection, but here we also see the added element of insecurity; he already fears rejection for his “quirk”, which we will later discover is his DID (called “Multiple Personality Disorder” in the show; I am not fucking calling it that). He doesn’t state it to the audience yet, showing that maybe he’s not as trusting with people who he can’t directly connect with; even though he probably knows that he will inevitably be outed to them, for lack of a better term. Since he’s insecure about this, and because he says he hopes his “condition doesn’t ruin anything for [him] again”, we can draw the reasonable conclusion that Mike’s probably been rejected for his DID before, whether by potential romantic interests or by his peers more generally (with the added context of season five this could also be referring to how Mal got the system sent to jail, but honestly I’m not sure if the writers planned that far in advance so we’re not really gonna talk about it). It could also be possible that one of Mike’s motives for joining the show, besides the money, was to make friends or find a partner in a new group of people who didn’t know this detail of his life, and to do that by hiding his DID. Once again, this will seem like less of a reach as we continue to see this pattern unfold; it’s good to establish now the idea that Mike is heavily concerned with interpersonal relationships and self-image so we can continue compounding on that thesis as we go on.
Next time we see either Mike or Scott is on the beach. Staci is talking about her family and Mike is obviously ignoring her in favor of looking at Zoey. This shows that while Mike is nice, he might not view everyone as an equal opportunity for human connection; he gets attached to Zoey instantly and regards her above everyone else, quick to establish a clear-cut and intense relationship in his mind with someone he barely knows. When Zoey even implies that they could become friends, he appears overjoyed. He’s so excited, and for what? Put a pin in this.
Our focus shifts back to Scott briefly in the team formation scene before the first challenge. Scott and Lightning smile at each other (or maybe generally? It’s unclear if Scott’s looking at him) as they’re put on the same team. His smile fades when Brick shouts “Sir, yes sir!”, but rather than looking maybe annoyed or angry, he looks uncharacteristically concerned. His smile returns when B shoves Brick, then changes to annoyance when B’s put on his team. There are two major explanations for this. The first and most likely is that Scott’s scoping out his teammates and competition; he’s happy that Lightning’s on his team because he’s not very smart, then concerned and happy again when Brick’s put on the other team because he’s loyal and physically capable, and then he’s upset that B’s on his team because B’s intelligent and looks (is?) strong/fast. However, on the other hand, Scott’s expressions seem oddly earnest, especially considering how he behaves throughout the rest of the series. Maybe he’s secretly glad that Lightning’s here because he enjoys his company. Something that really caught my eye was Scott’s concern for Brick. Brick’s obviously military (likely due to family circumstances), and in season five, we learn that Scott’s dad is ex-military. Scott might be slightly worried because he knows what the military is like, or what military parents are like. We’ll talk more about Scott’s potential home situation later, but I dunno, something about him in this scene seems weirdly tame considering how he is normally; he seems oddly worried and not about the right people, like all things considered it would be best for his plan if his team was weak but he seems constantly annoyed by the additions of people like Dakota and Sam.
Skipping over more of Scott being annoyed at people and Mike being anxious, when the teams get their names, Mike is the first to ask about the references to chemical waste. Though he’s very likely one of many to notice this, the fact he asked first and without hesitation shows that he’s both worried and quick to observe things. He continues to appear concerned by the growling of the “monster”, but seems to hold back from showing this, staying still with a worried expression. He might be trying to keep it cool to protect his image; or, maybe he’s trying to keep others from worrying as well, considering that Cameron’s already freaking out. When it gets closer, he holds Zoey in his arms. He has an urge to protect those he cares about, even if he has little reason to care about them yet.
Later, during the actual challenge, while Jo and Anne Maria are outwardly annoyed by Brick, Mike tries to politely state that this isn’t working. This is the point at which Chester fronts; we learn later that Chester most commonly fronts to deal with frustrating situations. Mike himself cannot express frustration for whatever reason, likely because he’s afraid to. Meanwhile, Scott does his first confessional, where he states that he has a plan that’s sure to take down B (and implied to take down everyone else as well). Scott’s overly confident and expresses frustration with the gleeful notion that all will be handled eventually. Shortly after, Scott smiles as he and the other Toxic Rats overtake the Mutant Maggots; this is odd, as we will later find out that Scott wants his team to lose. This could be an example of him trying not to play his cards too early, but later it becomes apparent that Scott’s quick to snap when he’s upset. Was he perhaps earnestly excited to win as a team and had trouble masking that as well? Perchance (I can just say perchance, because it’s my meta post, and I do what I want).
It’s worth mentioning now that we’ve covered episode one that Mike and Scott have somewhat inconsistent characterizations; as the series goes on, Mike is more prone to show annoyance or outbursts of fear, while Scott rarely shows genuine happiness when his plans aren’t working out. This could be a result of changing writers, a lack of ideas for one or both of them, or simply them changing and adapting to the game. Make of that what you will; I’ll try to explain things to the best of my ability and puzzle them together in a cohesive analysis, but shit’s a bit wonky.
In episode two, we finally hear Scott’s plan: he’s intent on making his team lose the challenges to “lull the other team into a false sense of security, then pick them off one by one”. This is an interesting concept, considering how fucking stupid it is: if Scott loses most or all of his team and the Maggots continue working together, that security will become real, they will dominate him and any allies he might form (which he does not seem intent to do), and he will lose near immediately unless he’s already planning on how to split them up, assuming any of them would fall for his tricks. However, Scott himself is a little dumb, so this is fitting. He’s so unwilling to work with other people that he seems to have tricked himself into thinking that he can do anything by himself and manipulate people with no outside help. This is unrealistic, and gives the viewer a perfect insight into Scott’s antisocial and bleak worldview. He’s so unwilling to trust people that he hasn’t even figured out how to fake a relationship with any of them for his own benefit.
In the scene where the teams are walking to the Bay of Dismay, Zoey and Mike have their first proper conversation, and it is approximately thirteen seconds long. Zoey brings up Total Warriors Two, and Mike is pleased that she knows about it. He states that if she likes kickboxing as well, he might have to marry her. First of all, film-enjoyer and kickboxer Mike real as fuck; but more importantly, this is another example of Mike attaching himself to Zoey incredibly quickly and incredibly closely. He’s desperate to be liked by her, desperate to be inseparable from her even. Unlike Scott who’s pushing everyone away without a plan, he’s seemingly nudging closer to someone without a plan or a concern for her actual, well, personality. I don’t think this is manipulative or weird at all, to be clear; and Zoey was likely trying to relate to him because he also clearly enjoys his company. It’s just endlessly intriguing how he’s already endeared herself to her.
Once the game actually begins and the Maggots are asked which one of them wet their pants, Mike’s the one to pipe up with surprise, almost making fun of the person in question. Knowing that Mike’s afraid of his own secrets being revealed in this challenge, this clues us in that, while Mike might not have bad intentions, he does partake in judging (and depending on how you interpret his words, shaming) people for their own secrets. He might, to a degree, lack social knowledge (“this might make the person uncomfortable” etc.), empathy, or both. In this right, he’s somewhat selfish. Throughout the season, actually, he continues to show inklings of selfishness, even if they aren’t born out of malice.
After this, the Rats are dunked into the water. Scott’s bitten and dragged out of the stands by Fang, and his team does nothing to rescue him. This upsets Scott, who then refuses to do the rest of the challenge. While this might be part of his plan to lose, it seems that Scott was genuinely upset and offended; he expected his team to help him when he would never do the same for them. More selfishness. Anne Maria seconds Scott, and Mike’s quick to join her since he’s worried about his own secrets being discovered— something that he insists to them isn’t true. I don’t have to explain this, I don’t think; Mike and Scott are alike in their selfish desires for preservation. The thing is that Mike backs down after Jo becomes upset with him, while Scott carries on. So Mike does care about avoiding conflict and being invulnerable to his whole team, but with Zoey specifically, he needs to be liked; not just regarded with neutrality, which appears to be his goal with other people; and he is afraid of being judged, or seen in a negative light.
During the challenge, Scott attempts sabotage for the first time, which fails. He tries to keep the rat from B, and is outwardly antagonistic towards him, which could have easily been used against him. This is another action that Scott seems to take strategically, but barely considers the consequences of. He just needs to be mean, apparently; he can’t control the urge to sabotage or insult, even when it would hurt him.
In the same challenge, Cameron catches Svetlana fronting, and asks Mike about it, which he denies entirely. The Maggots win, which Scott, again, seems genuinely upset about. This is where I’m laying out my theory officially that Scott takes these losses personally but is convincing himself that they’re sacrifices, rather than him genuinely not caring because it’s part of his plan. Maybe he knows that he could be on the chopping block every time and is bracing himself; maybe he enjoys winning each individual challenge for a sense of glory but won’t admit it to himself because it doesn’t work with this bullshit Lone Wolf plan he has. Either way, this brings us to episode three.
In episode three, Sam flings his breakfast into Scott’s face. Instead of pretending it’s okay, Scott throws a spoon at Sam. He then calls him a wimp for complaining about his food. Aside from this being another example of Scott being unable to mask his feelings for the greater good, this leads into the point of Scott’s home life. Total Drama as a series is full of bits that are normal in its cartoon universe, but are disturbing or terrifying taken in a real-world context; look no further than the season’s baseline concept of “we put teenagers on a nuclear island”. Scott living on a dirt farm is one of these things; having to eat dirt is bad in a literal context, and worse when adding the idea of it being a metaphor for not having food to eat. Scott is, quite literally, dirt poor; we’ll talk more about his audition tape later, but in it, we also see that Scott’s house is infested with rats and in a state of complete disarray. In season five, we learn that his father is ex-military and his mother’s a waitress; and since they own a farm, they did or do have two jobs. Scott’s also generally a country boy stereotype, and country folk aren’t exactly known for being well-off. We can almost guarantee that he grew up in a rough economic situation, and has ways of coping with or appreciating it while still working fervently to escape it. Take that for what you will.
Following this scene, Mike admits to the audience that he has DID with a shameful tone. He rushes to explain that he tries to control his alters, as if he needs to or should, but that they don’t listen to him. Mike not only lacks control, but is also attempting to control genuine other people, all for them inconveniencing him and making him worry about being judged. This is another point at which we must acknowledge that Mike is selfish, but also selfish with a sympathetic purpose; he doesn’t want to be judged, and doesn’t want to be alone. When confronted by Jo about Svetlana, he lies and says she’s a character, but fails to actually mimic Svetlana. He’s either a bad actor, doesn’t know Svetlana that well, or both.
During the first half of the challenge, Scott shouts at Lightning to shut his mouth, once again showing how hard it is for him to hide his true feelings. Meanwhile, Mike helps Zoey up a ledge instead of helping himself, showing that he knows when to actually be selfless as long as it benefits someone he cares about. Once again, we go back to Scott as the Rats win the challenge; and Scott is visibly and audibly upset. He doesn’t bother hiding it now, so why would he before? Another point for the “Scott is genuinely excited to win/mad about losing” theory. When his team is mad at him for picking the bad snow fort, Scott acknowledges that this is bad, but rationalizes that it’s part of the plan. Dude, he has no fucking idea how this plan is going to work, does he?
Now we get to the point where Mike finally acknowledges Scott, and tells Zoey to watch out because Mike thinks he’s “psycho”. Mike is the first person to bring up how Scott’s acting irrationally or untrustworthy verbally; and considering they aren’t on the same team, that means Mike must have been, at some point, watching him. As we mentioned earlier, he’s observant, and will bring something up either if he feels it’ll be uncontroversial or if he’s very concerned. Before Scott’s other team caught onto him, Mike did, and before they became cautious or seriously concerned, Mike did. Why? Does Mike have experience picking out these types of people? Was Mike, for some reason, interested in Scott either out of fear or admiration, and therefore paid closer attention to him than anybody else? Mike’s not a very strategic person in the game, but he is a bit strategic and wary socially, especially if he’s afraid of the other person not liking him. Did Mike view Scott as a threat? Maybe something more? Why? Did he recognize Scott’s selfish or secretive behaviors, maybe in himself? These are all, certainly, questions. Perchance.
In his scene with Dawn in the snow fort, Scott argues with her about how he’s not going to listen to the snowball, and says he’s full of negative energy; this causes a snowball to explode in his face. Scott’s unwilling to listen to others, even if it spells his own downfall. After this, Dawn claims that Scott wasn’t held enough as a child, which he stops to think about and is shown to be greatly uncomfortable with in the confessional. Dawn has previously been accurate about the home lives of other players (Zoey and Dakota), so we can assume she’s right. In which case, this is “Scott has a bad home life: part two”. Scott’s parents, at some point, did not meet his emotional needs; whether this was just in early childhood or whether it stayed consistent is unclear, but it’s likely that some of his behavioral issues would have been addressed earlier if his parents were attentive following his most formative years. Because his parents didn’t show him enough affection, he likely turned to either methods of garnering attention elsewhere or through other means, diverted that attention towards desiring victory and/or control for his own self satisfaction divorced from the opinions of other people, and/or a mix of both. We can also reasonably assume that Scott’s poor home life could go beyond simply emotional unfulfillment, since Scott seems worried at the notion of her knowing that, and likely wouldn’t be as concerned if he had nothing else to hide.
Dawn later seems to compliment Scott, calling him a “beetle whisperer”. He turns up his nose and leaves. This could be because he finds the notion of beetle whispering ridiculous, but I just like to think that Scott’s not used to getting compliments and doesn’t know how to react. Just because that’s kinda more wholesome and Dott’s kinda baller.
At this point, B melts the Maggots’ fort, and Jo asks Mike to do the “Svetlana thing”. Under pressure, Mike begins to panic a bit, unsure of how to escape the lie he’s found himself in, almost confessing; Cameron helps Svetlana front, saving him from this situation, and Jo regards Svetlana positively. This is just important to me divorced from Scike because not enough of you talk about Jolana. Moving on, Scott notices B melting the Maggots’ fort and momentarily panics, before melting the Rats’ fort instead and blaming B; while Scott has committed sabotage and swayed the team vote before, this is the first time his sabotage has actively caused the team to lose. You’d figure he’d be celebrating, but we don’t see that. After the loss, Mike goes to the confessional and worries about Vito showing up; we can assume that Vito is the hardest to control and/or would lend the most to affecting Mike’s social life, hence why he states that the situation has gotten worse and seems so on-edge. Scott’s finally gaining control in the game, while Mike appears to be losing it. Scott convinces his team to vote for B, and lies without a problem; Scott, it seems, is good at lying through his words, but has a hard time controlling how he emotes physically. Mike is the same; when he lies or hides information, his voice and face/actions don’t seem to mirror the stories he puts together on the fly. Mike’s not a malicious liar, he in fact has every reason to lie about his condition, if you consider lies of omission to be lies at all; but if you do, he is, in fact, a liar, and it takes one to know one. My Mutual Understanding clownery is all coming together.
In episode four, we mostly see extra examples of previous behavior from Scott: annoyance at his teammates (mainly Sam), selfishness and a lack of consideration for others (not helping Sam up and not caring when his teammates go missing), and being oddly happy over success when he shouldn’t be (excited to find the key). At this point, I began considering the possibility that Scott only likes losing when he’s in control of the loss. To fail when he’s trying to succeed obviously frustrates him, but to fail when he’s trying to fail is a success at failing. In less words, it's the need for power and control, again. Maybe he likes to win sometimes for entertainment, or a sense of accomplishment; he might just do it because he can sometimes. In which case, Scott’s a bit more unpredictable than first thought; he does things largely with one goal in mind, but can push that goal off or come up with other shorter term objectives whenever he feels like it. He’s consistently driven, but the thing he’s driving towards is subject to fluctuate when he gets bored or competitive or wants to feel in control.
On the Maggot side, Mike and company are obviously unhappy with and wary of Jo, but none of them say anything. Mike does, however, tell Cameron that he did a good job. It’s possible that after the last episode, when the two worked together along with Zoey to get up the hill, Mike has started seeing Cameron as another potential friend, as he rarely interacted with Cameron before, and we know they will continue to interact more in future episodes. Zoey says he’s “always encouraging Cameron”, implying that he does this off-screen as well, since (correct me if I’m wrong) this is the first time Mike has directly encouraged Cameron specifically. Mike says that Zoey’s all he thinks about when he’s in control, then laughs nervously, as if he’s afraid this joke is too personal or unrelatable or odd. When Zoey goes missing, Mike notices immediately, and begins to panic; the person he’s most attached to here, his only real friend right now, has just left him alone, and the anxiety is all-consuming. He’s worried about her, and probably also scared of being left alone with the rest of the team, who he’s not as close to. I’m going to draw the line here and say that I think Mike might have social anxiety, just in my personal opinion as someone who also has social anxiety. He’s hyper-aware, afraid of what others think of him, and heavily attached with one or two people. He’s also, apparently, very loyal and protective. He abandons the rest of the group to find Zoey despite the challenge, and is relentless when looking for her in a way that no one else in the challenge has been or will be later.
When Brick goes missing, Mike is concerned for him, as are Cameron and Anne Maria; it’s unclear whether this is because they care for him, they’re scared of missing as well, or a mixture of the two. When Anne Maria stands up to Jo for having a bad attitude, Mike also finds the courage to join her. Having someone who’ll agree with him or make the first move once again gives him a sense of confidence to voice his opinion and, assuming he had Brick in mind like Anne Maria, defend the people he (possibly) cares about without as much fear. Shortly after, he injures himself looking for Zoey; once again, he puts those he cares about above himself, but himself over the layman.
After Vito fronts for a while, Mike suddenly takes over when he hears Zoey cry out for help and attempts to save her instead of winning. His care for others (Zoey specifically but he could generally be concerned for everyone considering the state of affairs [big spider]) triumphs his need for victory, which again lends credence to the theory that he’s on Total Drama for social reasons more so than monetary ones. In the meantime, Scott’s unabashedly upset about winning the challenge, but again, appears concerned for Brick when he begins crying. When Brick’s switched to the Toxic Rats, Mike, Cameron, and Anne Maria are visibly shocked and upset, showing that they probably did genuinely care for him, making it more possible that loyalty to Brick factored into him standing up to Jo earlier.
In episode five, we start with Scott having a nightmare about a shark (Fang). He’s soon woken up by Brick’s alarm clock, though he’s not grateful for this; in fact, he begins punching the alarm clock as a demonstration of what he’s going to do to Brick later. Is it possible, then, that Scott would rather live in a nightmare, a place of strife and fear, than in a reality where he’s experienced a harmless transgression? Per freaking chance. Shortly after, Scott begins stealing from other players to frame Brick. It’s unclear whether this is because he’s mad at Brick for the alarm clock incident, or whether he recognizes Brick as a weak link on the team. Either way, this is probably the most premeditation we’ve seen from Scott, as his plan continues to develop throughout the episode, versus how he normally takes an action right after coming up with it to immediate success or failure.
During the challenge, Scott tells Brick to prove his loyalty to the team. There are many reasons he might have done this. One is because it’s simply fun to him; he might like seeing Brick squirm. Another is to gauge his actual loyalty and scope out his strengths/weaknesses to exploit them later. Once again, this could be a combination of the two; Scott doesn’t think highly of Brick, but he seems amused by him being a “doofus”. And after this, we see another instance of Scott ragging on someone (Sam) for being bad at the game despite that working to his advantage. It’s probably another instance of hubris: something along the lines of “I could do better than that; I won’t, but I could”.
Back to Mike, we see an example of him outright lying. Once again, I don’t blame him or necessarily think this makes him a bad person, but he is outwardly dishonest with Zoey when he claims that he just “gets so deep into character that he [doesn’t] know what [he’s doing]”. He promises to stop playing characters if Zoey wants him to, even though he can’t do that, and tells her she’s the most amazing girl in the world. His love for Zoey triumphs over his logic and planning for the future. He’s so desperate to be loved by her that he doesn’t even consider how to make that happen. This is similar to how Scott’s hatred for people or situations trumps his ability to consider consequences, as seen in episode three especially but also throughout the series. Both of them, despite trying to remain calculated and in control, are often so blinded by their emotions that they act or speak on a whim.
It’s at this point that I must inform you that I forgot that Scott accused Brick of stealing while he was underwater, making that his motivation for sending Brick down there. However, I do stand by the point that Scott’s also a bit of a sadistic little freak and just likes being mean, because he is. Sailing along, I also find it interesting how Scott has to whittle when he starts getting bored; another addition to the point that he’s impulsive at times. And returning to Mike, Dawn claims that Mike “likes her a lot” and “it’s all over his aura”. And now it’s at this point that I am becoming increasingly aware that Mike’s kind of just Zoey’s plus-one in terms of characterization and this post is pointless in that right, but I’ll be damned if I don’t stretch his actions thin enough to give him an actual personality, and then do the same for Scott, and then make them yaoi out. Mike’s a person that cares so deeply for people that it permeates his aura, the very essence of his being; his priority is to love people (Zoey) and be loved by people (Zoey).
When Scott finds out that his team got the better boat, despite wanting to lose, he doesn’t miss the opportunity to call them “suckers”. Once again, Scott’s goal is glossed over in favor of being a huge bitch to others. This reminded me of how, similar to how Mike’s a lover and wants to be loved, Scott’s a hater, and I think he might want to be hated. When you think about it, Scott hasn’t done a single kind thing to anyone on the island. He’s never upset when people dislike him, and takes every opportunity to be mean or sarcastic. When he does display a positive emotion, he never tells anyone or joins them in expressing it. Scott seemingly detests having positive relationships, perhaps because he’s simply annoyed and inconvenienced by them, but also perhaps because he’s afraid of losing them or feeling like he’s at the whims of another person’s emotions and wills. And in the end, as we know, Scott’s negative relationships will be his downfall, just like how Mike’s unwillingness to break his positive relationships will be his (as well as, y’know, Scott meddling). While it’s probably unintentional, they’re pretty decent foils for one another.
We get another Scott lore drop when he says that he’s been shooting kitchen rats with his Pappy since he was six. I’m not sure what to make of this really, I just think it’s kind of fucked up to have your kid shoot rats but like I also didn’t grow up in a hunting area so maybe that’s normal and not psychologically damaging. Later, Dawn tells Scott not to fire anymore goals, and he does anyways, to her annoyance. Scott has to know Dawn is suspicious of him, but he can’t resist pissing her off. See, he needs to make people mad; maybe he does this often, maybe he just wants to be on someone’s mind even if it's negative. He eventually tries to get smart about it and he does get her voted off later, but like, hello. This fucking guy. Even though Scott dislikes Dawn, however, he stops Jo and Anne Maria from hurting her after he frames her for stealing. Either he revels in her misery, or he secretly cares about her a bit; this is supported by the fact that she was the only person he didn’t talk about voting off his team in episode four. Anyways, back to Scott being stupid, he openly brags about his knock-off idols as well, when that’s super suspicious; like he really needed to rub salt in the wound that badly. Dawn even refers to him as soulless and sociopathic, and she’s not wrong. He’s so unconcerned with the wellbeing of others, as well as himself. It seems that nothing truly matters to him in the long term, so long as he continues meeting his short term victories in pursuit of what I believe to be an excuse rather than an actual reason. I think that rather than calculating his actions beforehand, Scott acts and creates a justification later, or a justification he can routinely add to. It seems that Scott might’ve picked the Rats because they were close and therefore easy targets. It would make more sense than his actual “plan”. He hurts people and tries to convince himself that he knows why when he probably doesn’t, which is awful but also somewhat tragic. He might not have a real sense of priorities or identity, but tricks himself into thinking otherwise to, once again, give himself more control. Does this make sense? Whatever, we’re like 5763 words in, it doesn't matter anymore.
Back to party sciking, in episode six, we see the formation of Team Men with Scott, Brick, and Lightning (and later, Sam). Scott’s finally making allies, and he doesn’t seem too upset about it. I think this might clue us into the idea that Scott does want positive relationships, but maybe doesn’t consciously understand that. He doesn’t fight Brick or Lightning on this when he normally would. Later, before the challenge, Mike tries to compliment Zoey, and in the confessional, she tells him to pick a side. And I feel like if you twist that enough we can get into bisexual territory, but I digress. Mike’s upset at his alters for ruining his relationship with Zoey, and while that’s true, he totally forgets to take into account that his alters are also people who also deserve access to the body. It’s more important to Mike that he gets what he wants rather than his alters get what they want, and above all, it's important that he maintains a firm grasp on his life with little to no interference. But he doesn’t seem aware of the fact that his alters are people. It’s almost like the personhood of someone can be diminished in service of his goals, and that he can cognitively distance himself from his actions if they become too (for lack of a better word) scary for him. This might sound familiar because it’s kind of what Scott does as well. They both hurt people in order to get what they want, it’s just that Mike’s unaware that he hurts people but aware of what he wants while Scott’s aware that he hurts people but unaware of exactly what he wants.
Zoey talks to Mike again, excited to dress a model, and despite the fact that he’s never shown an interest in fashion, Mike smiles. This is because Zoey’s giving him positive attention again. Mf is a bit of a lapdog to be honest. Scott would probably like someone like that, who’s loyal to a fault. The vision is visioning. Anyways, Mike catches a frog, not much to add but he does do that. Fang tries to catch Scott, and Scott notices and catches him with his own trap. He’s observant. Like Mike. They observe each other. Gay style. Scott also grins when Brick proposes a plan and creates an explosive. While Scott’s probably excited to see it blow up in his face, I like to think Scott also admires him a bit, adding to the idea that he secretly likes some aspects of his peers and just won’t express it. Mike tells Anne Maria that the maggot looks bad, which is slightly uncharacteristic of him but okay. He and Anne Maria were friendly before; maybe he’s trying to pull back in service of making Zoey feel better. He’s kind of destroying this sort-of friendship because he likes Zoey so much. Adding to this, he appears excited when Zoey says she wants to dress the maggot. He appears nervous when Jo argues with Anne Maria as well; whether this is because he still cares about Anne Maria despite everything or because he’s afraid of conflict/Jo is unclear.
It’s at this point that Scott begins manipulating Zoey. Just put a pin in that. Scott and Mike stand next to each other, if that’s anything? They also move similarly, like they’re subconsciously mimicking each other. Do you understand how difficult it is to write about Scike when it's episode six and the most they’ve actually interacted is standing near each other and looking in the same direction? Scott’s impressed by Sam, which is nice; he actually admires something about someone. I think being around people who he subconsciously wants to be friends with is making him slightly more willing to play the game and be nice to people in his own way. He even looks concerned when the yeti throws Sam, and again when the Maggots lose, like he doesn’t want to vote anyone out.
IT’S FREAKING TEAM SWAP TIME BABY THEY’RE ON THE SAME TEAM WAHOO!! Mike is immediately concerned, the most concerned out of the maggots. This is in part due to him approaching Zoey, but don’t forget, Mike thinks Scott’s off, he notices the things that he does and the way he behaves. Oh BABY he needs to save his friends from this guy, I smell a hero complex brewing.
In episode seven, the teams go into the mines. About eight minutes in, Mike finds a hat and excitedly explains that he’s always wanted one, to which Scott makes fun of him for being a “hat loving loser”. This is an uncharacteristically lame insult, which makes me think that Scott already has a distaste for Mike and is looking for any reason to insult him; this is probably because he knows that Mike’s onto him, and he doesn’t enjoy the mortifying ideal of being known. And it’ll ruin his plan or whatever. Later in the challenge, when Manitoba and Cameron are separated from Anne Maria, Zoey, and Scott, Scott tries to pin the split on Mike to get him booted. We can assume that Scott sees Mike as the biggest threat on his new team.
Later, Mike carries Cameron on his back to safety, and says that he hopes Zoey’s okay, despite him also being exposed to radiation. He thanks Cameron for coming back from him and calls him a friend. He’s just, so loyal to them, I don’t think I can say that enough. His friends mean so much to him. And I think Scott could see that and relate to it a bit, because instead of continuing to badger him, he suggests they lose the packs and find Anne Maria. The two of them, along with Zoey and Cameron, all look annoyed at Chris for not helping them, and Scott follows Mike as he leads the team to Anne Maria. I think it’s interesting that Scott stays with them even as the situation becomes life-threatening, and he even shares their surprise when the other team grabs their statue. The two of them run together to grab the statue and they both look happy to find it, even though Scott supposedly wants to lose. Maybe in this life threatening situation, they found an odd sort of comfort in and appreciation for one another, just for a brief moment. And despite knowing what Scott’s like, Mike trusts him with the statue as he runs off to save Zoey and Cameron, putting his own life in danger. This was obviously a mistake, as Scott throws it out, but for a second, it seemed like Scott was happy for him, when it was just him and Mike.
So Mike starts literally fucking dying defending his friends. Away from Scike, back to Mike prime, he’s about to be killed by the moles, has every chance to run for himself, and his radiation poisoning is getting worse by the second. But he still stayed behind to defend them. The situation got so dangerous that he even tried to tell Zoey about his DID, before Brick saved them. And that’s just??? SO fucking bananas holy shit. He cares about them so much, I dunno what to say. That’s his defining character trait and his fatal flaw, defending others; and it works even better juxtaposed with Scott, who’s defining trait and fatal flaw is only caring about himself. Foaming at the freaking MOUTH dude. He’s got issues, sure, but man he’s so sweet, love him. After this he’s the first person to confront Chris about this not being about the statues, but rather the mine; he’s more than likely upset that Chris put his friends in danger, especially for these ulterior motives. He’s so upset on their behalf, not even his own, that he stands up to the man who almost got him killed.
After this ordeal, Cameron confronts Mike about having DID. In his fear, Mike’s quick to ask who told him that. He’s afraid, first and foremost, that other people know and are talking about him; afraid that this has made him somehow unlikable or unlovable. At the mention of being able to control it, he’s overjoyed, and immediately agrees to help get rid of Scott. Scott’s the first person outside of Mike’s system who he’s been willing to genuinely disadvantage for his own goals. So Mike does not like Scott. But I feel like it’s an oddly intimate dislike. He dislikes him so personally, understands him so thoroughly with such disdain, for such little personal transgressions, that he’s willing to throw him under the bus to regain control over his situation. That’s special in a way, Scott’s the only person Mike would do that to. And considering how Scott treats everyone with hate as a way to cover his actual wants for human connection, and he hates Mike more than anyone else on the team, I feel like it’s safe to say they have strong mutual negative feelings in a way neither of them have experienced before. In a weird way, right now, with Mike having a sway over the team, he’s kind of more in control than he’s ever been. I can’t explain it, but the way they hurt each other goes beyond average contempt to me. In real life, yes, you shouldn’t hate someone that you have romantic feelings for; but I think something like this in fiction blurs the lines with intensity in regard for one another. It’s a blending of concepts. Lois it insists upon itself, but in a fun and intriguing way. I love when characters hate each other with the intensity and obsession that other characters love each other with.
It’s 2:40 AM and I just hit my pen so I could really lock in for these last two episodes before Mike’s eliminated but idk if it’s going to work.
In episode eight, we start off with the teams on the rafts. Scott comes up looking anxious about getting eaten by a shark, and Mike returns the expression, and says that the shark will never find them. This could be Mike comforting himself or comforting Zoey and Cameron, but do you know what it could also be? Comforting Scott. The person he’s responding to. Mike and Scott don’t like each other, but Scott still came to Mike first, and Mike still had it in him not to shame or ignore him. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Absolutely.
At this point, Cameron explains to the audience what causes each of Mike’s alters to front: Vito fronts when the body is shirtless, Svetlana fronts when there’s a physical challenge, Chester fronts when frustrated, and Manitoba fronts when the body’s wearing a hat. I’m not sure what to make of Manitoba’s trigger(?), but the others make it apparent that Mike isn’t able to handle or is rarely able to handle physical challenges, frustration, or being shirtless by himself. And this is where I should talk about Mike’s trauma, probably. I’m not going to get too into things here because I’m not an expert on DID and also it could be mildly upsetting, but DID develops due to repeated early childhood trauma and different alters may be better equipped to handle certain feelings, tasks, relationships, or memories than others. Mike had to have experienced this repeated trauma and it likely had some sort of physical component, considering Vito’s triggered by the removal of the shirt and he mentions in his character bio that he doesn’t have any good childhood memories besides maybe riding his bike. This, as well as the rejection we discussed earlier, explains a lot about Mike’s personality unfortunately. He’s used to being hurt, and seeks control, stability, and love for that reason. He’s loyal and quick to form attachments because he probably didn’t/doesn’t have any at home. And he’s self-preserving and protective and aware of his surroundings because of this as well, because he has to be. We don’t know exactly what happened in Mike’s life, though there is an “Uncle Vinny” in his character bio (mentioned by Vito) and it is possible that Chester is an introject of an older relative. Regardless, it doesn’t matter. I would like to return to Scott for a moment, and renew the topic of his home life. We’ve discussed how Scott’s family probably isn’t well off, doesn’t show him enough affection, and likely never disciplined him in a way that stuck considering how he behaves. And his father encouraging him to kill rats for him doesn’t sound great either. Like Mike, it would make sense for Scott to have an unstable/unhealthy home life, and for that to translate in his characters. He also needs power over other people, he pushes away people and refuses to make friends, he has patterns of violence, and he’s fast to learn what makes people tick.
Back to the scene, Zoey starts by complimenting Mike, which he’s excited about (need for approval, ok). However, he becomes nervous when she says it feels like he’s hiding from her. Then when Dakota starts mutating, Mike is the first to diffuse the situation by stating that her hair is growing back. He also leads the charge in pulling the sign out of the raft. After Dakota throws out the sign, Mike also says that they have to get in the water instead. When Scott reminds him about the shark and tries to refuse, Mike shoves him into the water, annoyed. It’s sort of fascinating how much more dominating Mike is in this episode compared to others. Maybe almost dying (or rather, almost losing his friends) in the mine changed him. Or maybe he has more confidence now that he’s the strongest person in his friend group and he doesn’t care what Scott thinks of him, evident by him forcing Scott into the water when he never would’ve done that to someone else. Mike, again, tells the team to stay quiet to avoid provoking the kraken. Man is going off this episode. He’s instantly annoyed when Scott starts freaking out over the shark, he’s so done dealing with this man that he can’t handle it and Chester takes over. Dude they’re soooo in hate. <3 After this, Scott is irate over his team winning, more than he’s ever been before. His feelings are so strong that he’s focusing extra hard on this faux-goal to destroy his own team. Mike’s also upset because the challenge is dangerous, “even by [Chris’] standards”, probably because the last challenge was also ridiculously dangerous and he’s worried about a repeat.
While Mike and Cameron go ahead to win the challenge at Mike’s behest, Scott talks to Zoey. He knows that Mike has a secret just by watching them, and lets Zoey in on this to manipulate her. After this, Mike and Cameron tell Zoey that Scott’s bad news in return, and she claims that he still has a heart. Mike is saddened by the fact that Zoey trusts Scott more than him, and I just think that’s such a…thing to happen. In trying to keep Zoey close by hiding his DID, he just pushed her away more, towards someone who’s so similar to him yet so different as well. We find out from Cameron that Mike fronts when Zoey’s in danger, because he cares about her that much. Scott also steals the team’s compass from Mike and frames him for losing it, blaming him if they come in last, but he fails when Dakota clears the forest of thorns. Scott keeps losing to someone who should be so easy to beat and who represents everything that he hates: kindness, loyalty, and people who stand up to him. Meanwhile, Mike’s alters are becoming increasingly hard to control, and he’s still unwilling to admit to having DID, afraid this will dissolve the relationship that’s already crumbling due to him not revealing it; he’s stuck in an Ouroboros of fear. Scott, immediately after this, seems to be mocking Mike, loudly saying to Zoey, “Would I lie to you?” Scott just knows how to push this guy’s buttons in the perfect way to piss him off.
When Scott loses the challenge for them, Mike’s probably the most upset we’ve ever heard him, at least in my opinion. He doesn’t hesitate to let Scott know that he fucked up and that Mike thinks he’s full of shit. Mike tries to get Zoey to vote for Scott, done with this charade; Scott feels the same about playing around like this, and gets Cameron to admit that Mike has DID— but he doesn’t want Mike out yet, he wants to toy with him some more. You can see the horror in his face when Scott pulls out the idol. In order for Dakota to go home, it couldn’t have just been Zoey to vote for her, and Mike and Cameron voted for Scott, and Dakota probably didn’t vote for herself. Scott had to have either voted with her, or voted for himself for fun; but irregardless, he didn’t vote for Mike, even though he’s clearly Scott’s biggest target. He doesn’t just want Mike out, but wants to use him first, something we haven’t seen before. And yes, this is because Scott’s a bad person, and taking advantage of his weaknesses; but having his weaknesses known and used by someone would be a sort of ideal scenario for Mike, despite also being his literal nightmare. He doesn’t have to hide from Scott at all, Scott’s probably the only person that Mike can fully be mad at and confront about that anger. Which is very fucked up, but also oddly close, I guess. It’s a unique relationship, it’s interesting to me. The mortifying yet somewhat comforting ideal of being known going both ways. Toxic yaoi. Hate as an allegory for love. Y’know, the usual.
The toxic yaoi continues in episode nine baby, we freaking made it. The first line that catches my eye (or ear I guess) is “Multiple Mike thinks he’s a ladies man, what a loser”. First of all, reeks of gay thoughts and unaware jealousy; but second of all, notice how Scott and Mike continuously get more and more openly aggressive with one another. They’re falling into a routine with it, almost.
This is where Scott introduces the deal— AKA, starts blackmailing Mike to help him win the challenge. Mike’s incredibly upset, and even considers telling Zoey about his DID, but is ultimately still too afraid. He’d rather be used than be abandoned. During the challenge, Mike tries to quip back at Scott for telling him to look in the broom closet, but retracts it when Scott threatens to tell Zoey. He tries to look tough to Scott, but fails. And when Zoey’s in trouble, Scott refuses to let him help her, in favor of making him go through the trash. Like with everyone, Scott likes to see Mike squirm, but I think he’s best at it with Mike, and the most enthusiastic about it too.
I’d also like to mention here that Mike just kind of gives up and lets Scott pick him up and carry him. Just saying idk you know when you just pick up some guy who you hate instead of making him actually fight for you or run in front of you or whatever. Mike also snarks Scott when his car doesn’t work, which, ok, go off King. Mike finally stands up for himself to help Zoey, the desire to protect her stronger than his fear, but Scott remembers how to trigger Vito to front and uses this to his advantage.
So, at this point, Vito gets clobbered and Mike has the fight with his alters, and it’s soooo bad, it’s so bad dude. They’re all fighting for control as if the moral isn’t that they should work together, it’s ridiculous, but I guess it also makes sense for Mike to be pushed to this considering everything? Glossing over this, anyways, Mike finally comes clean to Zoey and explains that he didn’t want Zoey to think badly of him. And I know everyone hates this scene, I hate this scene, “multiples just means there’s more Mike to —” yeah yeah yeah yeah fuck off idc that’s not how it works. But at least I think it does help draw a final parallel between Mike’s relationships with Zoey and Scott along with Scott eliminating him. Mike’s able to pursue his loving relationship with Zoey through her finding out about his closest secret, and Mike and Scott similarly are able to freely insult each other and develop this toxic almost-codependent-but-Scott’s-way-worse relationship because they also know each other, they know they’re hiding something and they’re familiar with each other’s personalities because hate drives them to look so deeply into each other. Mike gains Zoey and loses his dynamic with Scott, and vice versa, back and forth. These relationships can’t coexist, both because they’re so polarizing but also so similar in their intensity.
I didn’t watch the entirety of episodes ten through thirteen because it’s 4 AM and this is a Scike post, a 9274 word Scike post. But I did scrub through them and I would like to throw out there the Icarus imagery in episode ten when Zoey burns Scott for what he did to Mike, like Scott got too close to the sun or too in over his head, and Mike was his ultimate downfall. I’m also just going to skitter on past the “Mike makes fun of Scott while he’s in the trauma chair” because what the fuck. What was that.
The relationship between Mike and Scott in canon is, admittedly, less significant in canon than it is in my head, and less well-written and intriguing than I pretend it is, and it’s not healthy, and no matter how I spin it they never actually made up or understood each other in a major tangible way. But I think they should have. I think having them be characters who begrudgingly understand each other and care for each other in a way they don’t acknowledge or even recognize would give them some much-needed depth and maybe consistency. Scott in canon has no close relationships, and the two that Mike has weren’t necessarily great throughout the season even though I like to think that they are. It would be good for them. Adding a few more layers to each of them would explain a lot about their goals, their mannerisms, the contradictions in their personalities; it would make them both more sympathetic and relatable, into some maladjusted teenagers looking for an outlet rather than just a good guy and a bad guy who hate each other.
In conclusion, this post didn’t make much sense, and it was kind of a waste of time. But it was fun to think about these guys, and I could fix them, and also they’re more toxic in canon than first thought but I’m not necessarily complaining, because what’s a character without conflict and what’s a story without a theme? I didn’t edit or organize it, this was more or less my notes from rewatching the first nine episodes of ROTI. I’m aware it was super repetitive and rambly but I don’t have the time or energy to clean it up so, make of them what you will. Maybe this gave you a new perspective on Mike and Scott, maybe it didn’t, I dunno, I’m indifferent now, perchance. Like and subscribe for more Party Sciking. I need them to hold hands and wear the get along shirt and go to therapy. This ended up being more or less 9,738 words. Hope everything’s right in this, let me know your thoughts but please don’t tell me if you hate it. Goodnight Miami.
#alex’s td rambles#total drama#td scike#throws this to you. i don't remember half of what i wrote here#take a shot every time i say control or trust or power or annoy or smile or love or#cw abuse mentions#just in case#also i hope i got the psych stuff right i promise i did research#cw toxic relationship
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All right heres the thing that's been bugging me since I watched season four.
I love morgana in season one. I find her introduction absolutely fascinating. She feels like a very important character, but we don't know how yet. I love that we see her picking fights with Uther from the first, for it to all culminate in her attempting to kill him by the first season finale, all in a way that is so believable and sympathetic to me (and Merlin) that I was honestly hoping Merlin would just, slip on one of those hills and watch her kill him, because we now know three characters who wouldnt mourn the loss of the king. Who are angry at him for the unforgivable things he's done even recently. At that point arthur is most willing to work with magic and common men, and morgana (with Merlin) have had a clear impact on his growth as a man. I love that.
I... Don't see the rest of the shows arc (s3 and on) as believable for who she was then. I'm sorry but either she was caring about the citizens of Camelot and their suffering, or it was all a lie, that doesn't go away just because you're angry at one guy. I'll leave that alone, it's for another time. BUT. even if they wanted to show that dragons have free will and could befriend who they wished, regardless of dragon blood, I still don't think the entirety of that season makes any sense.
Why would Merlin have hatched the egg right then if he wasn't willing or able to raise the hatchling? They said multiple times the egg would last. And if Kilgharrah wasn't willing to raise the egg why did he convince Merlin to do it. It what world would the characters of Kilgharrah and Merlin as we know them at this point just leave an infant dragon to do it's own thing anyway? Let alone go work with a sorceress they believe to be evil consumed. That.... Doesn't make sense. Not even in a tragic but realistic way, it just simply doesn't make sense to me. Merlin could have safely put the egg where Kilgharrah used to be imprisoned if no one visits there, or Kilgharrah could have found another cave or safe place to keep it. Those make sense. Hatching it only to both leave and forget about the child doesn't really make sense for either of them?
The writers wanted morgana to have a dragon ally, be an equal to Merlin visually in their ultimate fight, and I get it....... but make Aithusa choosing morgana make sense. Develop their relationship in any way..? And while we're at it make morgana trying repeatedly to kill Arthur make any sense because it the show I watched I never saw any reason for her to want anything other than 1) uther dead and 2) magic free in Camelot once more. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. You can't have characters just Do Things because you want them to happen lmao that's not how people work.
This show loves to tell me instead of showing me. I know what they want me to think because they make it glaringly freaking obvious but I'm sorry .. you have to actually develop character arcs or relationships (whether it's between a dragon and the main villain, or Arthur and Guinevere, because sunbursts and cute music isn't doing anything for me lol. They didn't even develop lance either. She had two love interests shown to us and we just have to use our imagination I guess.
Idk, write morgana to be the darkest, cruellest, most insane bitch you want that's fine with me. It's all medieval fanfiction but ... It has to be plausible. Give me any reason at all why bbc morgana hated Arthur or Camelot or Gwen or anything. Do tragic, do.. "she was always meant to be against him" if you must, but also? It's all fanfiction so have morgana being Arthurs sorceress .. powerful just like Merlin but in her own way and they're both loyal to Arthur.
#bbc merlin#idk i love morgana but her being insane and a badguy didnt make any sort of sense it just felt like#they gave up on her character and took the easiest route and still didnt do a good job#you cant just erase the entire first season of a show and redo it 😭#you probably should have planned out what you wanted BEFORE acting things out in case you decided to change stuff#morgana pendragon
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started streaming Golden Wildfire! gonna reflect on the route as it unfolds, courtesy of your resident Claude enthusiast.
CURRENTLY PLAYING: Chapter 4
[document version]
if Three Houses glossed over the sort of wild situation that Claude has to survive every day in Garreg Mach then this route has started with a bang by opening with conflict at the Fodlan-Almyran border. bold move! and I certainly am endlessly curious about this impending intrigue - in fact I have spent the last four years (four years!) since Three Houses musing about Claude’s relationship to his home nations, and the nations’ relationships to one another, and what that conflict means for Claude and everybody else.
do I trust the writers with it? not really. am I gonna try and play it in good faith anyway? evidently. so let’s get into it~ 🏹
right off the bat I can tell there’s stuff in this route that’s gonna make me uncomfortable, sometimes in the fascinating and deliberate way, and sometimes in the “oh I feel like an accomplice to/victim of a hate-crime” way. this is not really a surprise when it comes to Fire Emblem but it deserves a mention regardless, as I think Golden Wildfire’s going to be a rollercoaster that will frustrate me as much as it intrigues me. I’ll have the additional challenge of having to articulate how I feel about it off the dome, as a biracial POC playing to a mixed-bag stream audience. so, in short: occasional yikes are inevitable.
but such is the price I pay for Claude. ahh Claude, my beloved. when first I played Three Houses I was drawn to the game by him, not expecting him to be everything I enjoyed in a character. other than just being generally *chefs kiss* impeccable, he also conveyed some nuanced mixed-race experiences rarely expressed in a lot of media I’ve engaged with. that he sprouted from a game that frequently overshoots its own political intrigue and bungles character resolutions like FE3H surprised me, but I was happy to pluck the fluff and dirt off my darlings and make the best of what had been provided -- a bizarrely relatable, endlessly complex nice young man having a terrible, no good, very bad time.
I already got a whiff of this from playing Scarlet Blaze first, and it’s vindicating to see Three Hopes elaborate on something I’ve been clawing at walls trying to convey since the first game: Claude is light-hearted, but his situation is not. it always blew my mind to hear people say that Claude was the “good vibes house leader” in 3H only to play the game and find a character that would flippantly laugh about threats on his life, occasionally mention that he exists at the hostile junction of two warring nations, and ultimately find himself in the impossible position of an anti-war leader operating during a war. across two nations. both warring. yes, yes, he’s quite a funny guy, but his circumstances are abysmal, and a big part of that agony comes from the role he occupies -- that which he is saddled with, and that which he takes upon himself.
this was not a position easily occupied, and I was delighted to find that Claude was intelligently portrayed as a character whose ideals had to bend to the demands of leadership, resulting in morally-grey decisiveness, diplomatic juggling, and one of my favourite things to explore in fiction: the pragmatic, sometimes paradoxical pursuit of “non-violence” during war, and as a solution to war.
already in Three Hopes (I played SB first) I sense they’re leaning a little harder on showing Claude’s struggle with this, including some hints at the unbearably high bar he sets for himself. he doesn’t wear accountability like Dimitri or Edelgard in 3H - it’s always a little more cavalier, something you have to read between the lines to spot and understand. but this game is a tad more forthright with it, pulling back the disguise of “Master Tactician” to plainly show Claude in a perpetual state of, well... this:
and nothing exacerbates this like the situation they’ve started the game with. it’s dramatic irony that makes the first three chapters really sting: we know by now that Claude is Almyran, and are placed in an uncomfortable position of puttering around the camp listening to the people Claude calls his friends talking at length about the brutish Almyrans invading at Fodlan’s Throat.
this is technically good set-up. Claude is here to fix a problem, and this is our first experience of the problem -- lacking communication and education means that neither side knows who they’re fighting, or why, just that they have to. with the Church of Seiros already positioned as a questionable but overbearing presence in ch. 2 (“Why are we being sent here to fight? Church school said so.”) it begs to reason that showing the consequences of Fodlan’s intensely insulated culture starts with these uncomfortable scenes. they are, after all, born from the fear of not knowing. Claude as an antithesis to ignorance-based conflict makes a habit of overcoming fear by knowing everything.
so there are some pretty ick conversations happening around camp, and that’d honestly be something I’d be fine to reckon with as a narrative choice -- if not for the visceral discomfort and sharp drop in faith that came in the form of Shahid’s introductory scene.
let’s get this out the way: I did not spend four years mopping my tears about all these Lords and Royals to see Shahid and not immediately think “bratty king? I can fix him, and/or make him worse.” especially as a foil to Claude, it’s interesting to see a foolish heir working towards the throne in a way that Khalid, and perhaps even the King of Almyra, would oppose. I’m bracing myself for his justifications, for his humanity, because he occupies an interesting political position and he’s the first family of Claude’s that we’ve seen on screen. and yes, he could just be shallowly evil, but that wouldn’t be anywhere near as fun as it being complicated and ugly, the way all the other Lords and Leaders are afforded.
alas, it is difficult to have faith that GW is gearing up to say something interesting when they introduce such a caricature of the ‘evil desert guy’ that I feel like I’m watching a Disney movie. especially when a scene shows a narrow-eyed, ashy-but-darker-skinned ‘evil’ sibling in contrast with our bright-eyed, lighter-skinned mixed-Fodlanian Claude. it’s these sort of artistic choices that threaten to undercut the same cross-cultural intrigue that this route is constructing.
the Three Hopes sprites are a bit awkward, proportionally (shout out to Margrave Gautier’s bizarrely wide mouth) but it’s a long and yucky history with depicting MENA people that makes this particularly egregious. I’m Samoan so not personally affected by this, but it is nevertheless going to take an active effort to just try to look past the way his character is drawn. I spare a wince of sympathy for my viewers that are more personally affected: it sucks, and it’s such a simple fix that it becomes even more frustrating.
he does look slightly less like a hate crime in the animated cut scenes though. “the only one who can beat me is me!” type rizz.
I actually like that his features might deviate from the typical proportions of most of our main cast, the way Hubert’ or Lorenz’s do. it is a shame to have it pushed just into the realm of caricature when there is something workable there.
nevertheless, 3H optics have betrayed themselves before (shout out, woman-enjoyers). so again, I’m going to try and brute-force past this icky design choice and try and find my bliss, which is thus: sibling drama, please, I beg. I love the garbage mish-mash of family dysfunction and political drama that happens in royal families, and it was high time that we saw a glimpse at what Claude’s other side is going through. I swear the British monarchy convinced people that wild dysfunction is reserved only for the English, but where there is power there is corruption, and where there is hereditary power struggle, by jove do you get problems -- it’s just a matter of flavour.
all that to say: I am hoping that we will be compensated for that abysmal talk-sprite with enough royal family intrigue to write home about. I would like to see Almyran politics that are just as complex as everywhere else, but culturally diverse and interesting without leaning lazily on the same fear-mongering racist rhetoric that Claude’s entire character exists to debunk. that’s my hope. my three hope. ha ha. look I’m not holding out hope for a diamond, I just kinda want a gem-shaped rock that I can polish up myself.
anyway, new spite-induced meow meow aside, let’s get back to Claude.
my god! his life fucking sucks!
thinkin about this scene just before the timeskip where Claude expresses his thanks to House Goneril, and apologises for not being of more assistance. it makes my skin crawl knowing that Claude is not just thanking Holst but saying sorry to him after all the micro-and-macro aggressions he’s been weathering, but it makes a lot of sense; Claude is representing House Riegan and his grandfather, not Khalid of Almyra, and not even Claude himself. and what that shows is an important feature of diplomacy: the ability to make connections, and say what needs to be said in order to maintain good relations with his new allies.
better than that, it shows how damn good Claude is at it, despite having every reason in the world not to be. he is, in this moment, House Riegan. and with foresight, this is an interview, and this humble apology operates twofold as a promise, setting the tone for his eventual leadership and securing House Goneril as an ally.
if Claude were more selfish, more proud, more emotional or less wise, he wouldn’t be able to say things like that. it is the humility that makes people underestimate him, but it’s also what makes him so pivotal in creating and maintaining peaceful circumstances. sometimes, peace-keeping means pacifying the people in power. and especially for Claude operating in the alliance, managing expectations is key for a leader. he’s clever, this is strategic, and I’m excited to see Claude juggle the egos and roles of all the nobles around him.
but it’s tough, right? this is a situation that rewards Claude for not behaving like a human ought to. I like to imagine the way his smile falters when the Almyrans are spoken of like barbarians, agitation ticking along in the back of his mind while he forces himself to speak the niceties that will benefit everyone in the long-run. he’s only seventeen. we hear a lot about noble obligation, but there is no greater pragmatic noble obligation in Leicester than managing the other nobles, and Claude has that skill in spades -- hard won, but effective, with an eventual payoff to make all that juggling worthwhile. sometimes. maybe.
speaking of noble obligations, good lord that bit where Lorenz snaps that they must execute Tomas and Claude has to remind him that dead men don’t talk... I’ll inevitably end up talking plenty about Lorenz as the game goes on because he is a fascinating foil, so remind me later to talk about the things that make Lorenz a good noble, bad leader, and eventual good ally later.
and on the topic of fascinating foils...
man. I was not expecting Shez.
for those unaware, my read of Claude in 3H was that he mostly saw Byleth as a curiosity pre-timeskip, then brought them on as a means to an end post-timeskip. room for interpretation about how they develop after that, but generally most of my Byleth and Claude interactions boiled down to this thinly-veiled hostility and how it evolved into apologetic manipulation and mutual care.
Shez is different, right off the bat. I can see Claude working them over, but there’s something very new about the vibes of Claude approaching a peer he finds suspect. it has the same echo of how he treated Byleth, and even Marianne, but there’s a difference that I can’t quite put my finger on, and I suspect it comes from Shez just being a much more talkative character, plus the dramatic irony of vaguely knowing where Shez’s story might be heading. they’re not harbouring the goddess, nor a cursed beast, but a secret third thing :’l (and god I’m so excited to see what’s up with Shez, they’ve been impressing me as a protag since I started this game, I don’t think I’ve liked a FE avatar this much since Robin)
the way I characterised Shez has him coming off a little arrogant and brash, compared to my previous Shez, who seemed mostly daft and down-to-earth and is currently committing girlboss crimes in Adrestia in an alt timeline. I’m so used to overlooking the avatar character that I hardly realised just how much potential Shez holds in this route, as a sellsword brought onto the squad of the guy that wants to avoid bloodshed. honestly I’m pretty astounded by the raw fire of intrigue it’s set alight in my brain. Shez thrived under Edelgard because they always had work. and now they’re struggling under Claude, and we’re seeing just how vile the war machine is that it will make peace an inconvenience to the merc economy.
just before I finished the stream, I played the opening scene of the timeskip: where Shez is struggling to make ends meet by being a mercenary in a peaceful alliance. therein lies the intrigue of this pair-up. Claude wants peace. Shez needs to fight to live. so how do we reconcile this?
already it seems that Claude mmmiiight have just deliberately forced scarcity on Shez in order to easily manipulate them into a) not moving into a different nation when Claude still doesn’t know what’s up with him and b) taking up his first offer of becoming a commander, which is exactly the morally dubious pragmatism that I love to see in my Alliance leader - but who’s to say? it’s not as if it’s the same method he used to flush out Bergliez’s army in the SB route, forcing their hand by starving their troops with hopes they’d choose surrender...
guess we’ll find out next time, eh? but oh, is my spotlight shining on these funny little guys.
and quickfire round: Nader’s still lookin’ handsome, love that Claude’s opinion of Shez rises every time I side-eye the church, and Arval continues to enthrall my entire brain.
and. yeah. that’s a majority of my first impressions of the GW route. not even all of them but this is like an entire essay and I’m only just past the prologue. tl;dr more of the same Claude goodness, something new and tense in Almyra lore, and then something new and unexpected in Shez. and we’ll see where the rest takes us.
thanks for reading, all the best!
my streams | my twitter | ask to join the discord server
#golden wildfire#three hopes#fire emblem warriors: three hopes#claude von riegan#mimzameta#mimzamine
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Let's talk about Lusamine's affinity for parasitic life forms.
My biggest gripe with Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon was the butchering of Lusamine's character; they removed so many story beats that were crucial to her, that it really dulled her down as an antagonist. I always felt that the Necrozma plot was awkwardly shoved into the game, and Lusamine's character assassination was the result.
HOWEVER.
I have been looking at it through a difference lens since Pokémon Masters EX released Lusamine's sync pair with Dusk Mane Necrozma.
The fact that Lusamine has bonded with not one, but TWO parasitic entities, is really interesting to me, because it is full of so much symbolism.
The plot with Nihilego, of course, has had many different interpretations; the "motherly love" interpretation is one that I stray away from in my blog canon. Lusamine's fixation on Nihilego, and her bond with it, is a result of fascination turning into delusion and madness. Her obsession with it's lack of emotion and efficient existence through a hive mind system led her to want to emulate that behavior. Of course, we all know what eventually happens, regardless of whether it is a canon or headcanon based interpretation: Lusamine is accepted by Nihilego, consumed, and becomes a host to it. And because she was a host, she lost autonomy and was driven insane by the neurotoxin.
That's a great story and all, and one that I am constantly trying to work out and restructure in the background for my own canon-- but now I am also looking at the Dusk Mane Necrozma implications.
Lusamine and Necrozma have a lot of shared themes and symbolism: being a source of light while simultaneously burning those around them, hungering for more power, living in a world that they were not born in, and being fractured. I do believe that Lusamine seeking to quell Necrozma in USUM had something to do with her being aware of these similarities, and deluding herself into believing that she was the only one capable of quelling this quasi-deity.
Only, she was NOT deluding herself, she was CORRECT.
Lusamine was capable of syncing with Necrozma and commanding it, but ONLY while it was ALREADY in possession of a host; Dusk Mane Necrozma is simply piloting the body of a Solgaleo, meaning, it is easier to be contained while it is feeding. And I think Lusamine knew what she was doing. She knew that she was compatible with this monster, but knew that it was parasitic in nature. THAT is the major difference between her dynamic with Nihilego, and the one with Necrozma: she is destroyed by UB-01 because it was a host-parasite relationship, instead of a balanced partnership like syncing. She did not allow Necrozma to control her.
That being said, there's still a lot of sad implications here: Lusamine syncing with a Pokémon that is using Solgaleo, a monster that her daughter was bonded to, is full of so much upsetting symbolism. She herself is a parasite, smothering Lillie's joy and other connections. There's no better representation of Lusamine and Lillie's toxic mother and daughter relationship than Dusk Mane Necrozma-- a form that gained its name because it represents the death of the sun before being overtaken by the night sky.
ALSO, the fact that Lusamine's dialogue lines in PokeMas suggesting that she views herself as a "guiding light," despite being paired up with the consumer of light, is another indication that she TRULY believes that she is some sort of superior entity and "savior," while channeling Necrozma's desire to "be full of light" and whole again. They really are parallels of each other. She is more in line with Necrozma's themes, than Nihilego's. That is why she stands at the side of Necrozma, and is doomed to be a servant of Nihilego.
All of them are parasites and all of them are connected, and it's not great.
What I'm currently thinking, is that the Nihilego plot AND the Necrozma plot can both exist at once-- Lusamine would not have the knowledge to sync with Dusk Mane Necrozma WITHOUT realizing that physically fusing with Nihilego did not work out.
We'll see how this develops in future plotting.
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I recently reread you REVENGERS show story and I just wanted to praise you about how incredibly well written and entertaining it is.
The asgardian funeral scene with "Æ og du" playing? GOLD. Literally made me tear up while reading it for like 7th time.
Loki using his magic to heal Thor's eye and just them TALKING?? On GOD that shit was beautiful! I LIVE for those two and their chaotic but loving sibling dynamic.
Eris being a buddy of Groot and Rocket? Fantastic! Gives her character so much rich history and makes her overall feel more connected and well-grounded in that universe. It's the little details man
And now to a personal highlight of the story to me:
The interactions between Loki and Bruce/Hulk.
Just the way Loki is weary of the Hulk, as is Banner of Loki, yet they still are low-key fascinated by each other. Like when Loki did a double take when Hulk told him he knows he's hiding something. Or when Banner was trying to make peace with Loki in the hallway and offered to be friends. They even somewhat care about each other's wellbeing to the point where Loki tries not to hurt Hulk when he... hulked-out and even APOLOGIZES to him for using the tesseract on him, or Bruce's first fear after waking up is that he may have killed Loki. They have such an interesting dynamic. Are they reluctant teammates? Are they starting to honestly care about each other? Who the hell knows! All I know is I'm rooting for Loki to find a friend that actually likes him for who he is. And if that friend happens to be Banner/Hulk, then that gets extra pluspoints from me. Can you imagine Tony's reaction to that tho?
AHHHH so okay first of all, thank you for this message, it made my morning. and it's beautifully timed because coincidentally, i ALSO just reread the entire revengers series! i've been trying to wrangle the remaining plot points into some kind of order where everything makes sense and flows in a satisfying way (like, i know almost everything that i want to happen, just not how and when to make it happen) but i think i'm finally making some headway!
re: the thor and loki talk, the very first moment of quiet in the plot came along and i was like AH YES finally time to address the fact that thor's best friends are all dead! but i liked making it not about heartache and grief so much as it was about remembrance, you know? i feel like asgardians have an interesting relationship with grief since, like, valhalla is supposedly a real actual place. it's just neat. and also obviously i needed an excuse for thor and loki to have a..... sort of genuine heart-to-heart. emotionally stunted brothers style, anyway
and maaan oh man i'm SO glad you like bruce and loki's interactions! because they've become some of my favorite scenes to write! loki was terrified of the hulk in ragnarok only to be like "hello bruce 😌" when he sees him next, which was fucking hilarious to me and absolutely required that i expand on these two. and for bruce it's like... you know when the brother of one of your closest friends is also the guy who was responsible for a literal mass casualty event in new york? the same guy that you then pounded into a tile floor like a pit bull with a stuffed animal? but he's, like, a god, so he survived and then he did some time in prison and now he's sort of on your guys' side and also living on a spaceship with you? yeah? you know that feeling? we've all been there, right?
here's the real question: was bruce's worry about whether he killed loki as the hulk about not wanting to kill anyone as the hulk, or was it because he's starting to genuinely care about loki's wellbeing? who knows! bruce certainly doesn't! regardless, they WILL be close friends by the end of spending nearly two years on a spaceship together. you really can't not, and they have so much in common! do you think loki might be able to relate to being something destructive and monstrous and terrifying? and hating that part of yourself and wanting to get rid of it? ugh god i have one line in particular that i've been sitting on and DYING to use between the two of them (fun fact: this line is the one that prompted a friend over DMs to say "sam i am chasing you with a knife" so. do with that what you will) and i swear it's coming.... eventually 👀
oh and tony WILL be completely and utterly gobsmacked by it lmao, they finally land on earth after two years and they're in the middle of introducing the Loki Problem™ to american (or norwegian?) authorities, and tony's there because it's avengers related so of course he's there, and loki says some offhand thing under his breath that makes bruce just fucking lose it, like, choking trying not to laugh in the middle of this very important diplomatic meeting and tony's like. oh sure, the mass murderer is funny now. he tells jokes. cool. cool cool cool hey, just wondering, did i enter an alternate reality just now? am i finally losing it? bruce? had any weird interactions with a mind stone lately? buddy? the fuck?
anyway. yeah. i'm itching to write more of this, and trust me, i have been :)
#exceleo#sam answers stuff#revengers: the show#the mcu writing train is finally picking up some speed again!#which is good because those three commissioned fics are due in like three months!#but yeah i'm bouncing between them and the revengers and the opposite set of people get snapped fic#feels good to be back 😌 💅
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I recently finished Dear Sigmund and it just made me want even m o r e for Sidney to have more screen time! Seeing the 4077th through his eyes was such a fun little change of pace, as well as seeing the way he comes to them for comfort 🥺 Regardless of whether you view it as platonic or romantic, it's so obvious he loves everyone there! And while we're on the topic of characters who deserved more: Captain Sam Pak. I know he was only in two episodes, but he was wonderful in both of them! I loved the exchange between him and Sidney in Deal Me Out, just the easy "that's my wife!" "Interesting joke there, Sam" "Thanks for seeing me, Sidney". I wish we had more Sid, I wish we had more Sam, and I also wish we had more of them together.
And thanks so much for the rec! I've only recently been getting into the fic side of things, so I haven't come across their work yet, but I'm sure it would only have been a matter of time. (Aka I have Sidney's Ao3 tag open on my phone right now) I took a quick scroll through their collections, and read a short BJ/Hawkeye/Peg piece since I had a couple spare minutes, and I think the recommendation is right up my alley! I'm really not gonna have to search for fics for the rest of the week with all that you've provided me 😅
DEAR SIGMUND MY BELOVED!!!! AAAAAAA I love that one so MUCH, I go back to it often. Brilliant work from Alan all around, writing, directing, acting, all of it. God, the way he just saw the characters is so fascinating. I'm so glad you enjoyed it so much!! God, Sidney fits into the camp so well, really just matches their pace and rhythm as easily as he sinks into the background to observe them. He does love them, you're so right. You're gonna love some of his upcoming episodes, I think. War of Nerves in S6 is a lot, but it's wonderful.
Also Sam is the fucking love of my life. Canon also wrote a really interesting Hawkeye/Sam chapter for a multiauthor collab fic called The Famous 4077th Dog Tag Party, which I definitely recommend if you enjoy Sam to that degree, because my goodness, he's such a fucking delight as a POV character in it!! But even beyond that, Sam and Sidney give me such old married couple vibes, like, they're usually surrounded by all these 20- and 30-somethings, so I feel like they found each other as men in their mid-40s and were just like oh, thank GOD, and things went from there. I am yet again exposing myself as a shipper to the core, oops.
I am usually very shy about self-reccing fics, but since you've mentioned you loved Dear Sigmund and also a fondness for Sam and Sidney, I'm gonna give you a couple, if that's all right:
—I'd Give Up Forever to Touch You: This is BJ/Sidney-centric with BJ/Hawkeye developing in the background of the narrative, but I offer it specifically because "Dear Sigmund" plays a large role in how BJ and Sidney interact in it. It's a forced proximity romance that also selfishly lets me play on a favorite trope of mine—only one bed—and I loved writing it so much that I have so many thoughts about a potential sequel that might let me lean into more of those polyam feelings
—To Be Kissed Upon the Eyes: This is a Sam/Hawkeye/Sidney fic with an established Sam/Sidney relationship. I wrote it because, yes, I really love their dynamic even if we only get a single episode of it, but also because I wanted to dig into how I view my iteration of Hawkeye's complicated relationship with sex. Getting the excuse to make Hawk the center of very affectionate, fond attention and give him a little bit of healing was just exquisite for me to write
Again, no pressure to read either of those!! But you might enjoy them :) I hope you enjoy your continued watchthrough too!! I feel like I've been seeing a lot of people diving in for the first time recently
#this is wordy af please forgive me#i would apologize but unfortunately i will never shake the wordy bitch allegations it's just in my nature at this point#i really enjoyed hearing your thoughts about this aaaa#my ramblings
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I think he should talk to Pai from Tin Tem Jai actually:
Like Pai, Zhang was talented and successful. He was the most trusted member of the association and the best at his job, but he was gay. And he was outed. Having this commentary from Pai really gives shines a light on the struggles that a lot of queer people face. I'd put money on Zhang being so competent and talented because he knew that one day he would be exposed and outed. Zhang could only hope that his talents, his skills, the trust he had worked so hard to build for his own self protection would spare him the judgement that he knew he was going to get.
Zhang knew that to everyone around him, his life was worthless because he was gay. He even felt it himself considering he took his own life after being outed. Being talented and successful wasn't enough for Zhang and it wasn't enough for Pai either. She is rich, gorgeous, personable, and by almost all standards hugely successful. Yet she has a strained relationship with her parents because of her sexuality. That's not even getting into the fact that her brother is also literally in a gay relationship and they are fine with him. Pai doesn't even date, but the fact that she's gay drives a wedge between her parents. She wishes she can come home and no matter what be accepted and loved without thought or hesitation, but she knows that she can't come home to that even if she's successful. But she knows that she can't come home at all if she's not.
I just find it fascinating that we got two shows giving us the two different sides of this conversation. I know hardly anyone watched Tin Tem Jai, and honestly, I wouldn't recommend it, but this scene with Pai was so well done and I recently rewatched that scene in To Sir, With Love and it got me thinking about how Pai and Zhang are so similar but different circumstances and different times caused different outcomes. Zhang took his own life because his success meant nothing. Pai stays away from home and isn't close to her parents because her success means nothing. These characters believe talent, hard work, and success mean nothing if you're not straight because that is what they are taught and what they are shown. But being gay and being talents and being successful are all just things. They are just a part of a person. Zhang should have been accepted for who he is regardless of his competence. Pai shouldn't have to fight for her parents to accept her. Those things should simply just happen. But that's not the world these characters live in and I hope that both Pai and Zhang can take some solace in the fact that there are people in both shows that accept them for who they are.
#tin tem jai#tin tem jai the series#tin tem jai bl#to sir with love#to sir with love the series#imagine if zhang had a brother like yang#imagine how differently his life would have turned out#also these shows are nothing alike#but here i am making a post about it when i should be getting ready for bed#this ended up longer than i expected sorry not sorry about it
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Tbh I don't feel like the Ren/Nora/Victor thing felt like a repeat of the Blake/Yang/Diana thing, but in a bad way?
Like... with BYD, Yang seemed to realize instantly that she'd said something that made Blake upset which wasn't even actual flirting and just quietly course corrected the rest of the movie and made sure Blake felt supported by her + Diana wasn't at all interested in either of them, which left room for the three of them to actually talk and become friends (I actually really loved their friendship stuff).
RNV on the other hand was just very... weird? On Victor's end, it's weird that he's super into this random teenager he just met (which is impossible to handwave as him feeling like a teen too since he's also the one who takes a dig at Ruby, who's only two years younger than Nora, for being a teen and too young to lead) and even if that hadn't happened he still knows he's actually an adult. Plus, given their relationship, it seems weird that Nora would be upset to see Ren acting a little lot jealous, considering how badly she wanted him to admit he reciprocated her feelings... especially during the early Atlas arc.
And again, unlike with Blake, Yang, and Diana who talked and formed a bond... Victor and Ren's resolution was just "oh look, we can fight together to save the girl we both like" which again... makes no sense as a plot point and doesn't resolve anything between them... while also kinda reducing Nora to a damsel in distress and not having her be a part of resolving the issue, which isn't great since she was upset (regardless of how I feel about it).
this is actually a great way to put it!! the byd thing felt very natural: imo it makes total sense for yang to have a small thing for diana, she’s definitely her type (dark-haired women who could kick her ass), and it makes sense for blake to be jealous because we’ve never seen her have to compete for yang’s attention before, yang’s only ever had eyes for blake. and diana not having any personal involvement with either of them makes the whole thing seem distant, so it’s much more a blake and yang thing rather than something involving diana.
i think in terms of the victor and nora thing, they should’ve just leaned in on victor being more fascinated with nora’s tech rather than anything else, kind of like entrapta from she-ra. it felt weird to turn it into a romantic thing, especially since, like you said, it ended up being a “we can team up to save the girl we both like” sort of deal rather than finding an actual resolution. which is sad, because i liked victor outside of that.
i feel like byd is the only dc/rwby combination that made any sense in a romantic lens, again since the only romantic part of it was between blake and yang. i personally didn’t see weiss and bruce’s relationship as romantic at all, but i do think it was intended that way despite it, and of course there’s the victor and renora deal. that’s why jaune and jessica’s duo was my favorite, because they were friends who could help each other by their similarities and understanding of the other’s problems, and i feel like the other character combinations should’ve been written more like that.
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meredith stannard for the character meme?
Meredith Stannard
First impression: oh whoah hot jean gilpin lady fucking MURDERED a qunari so sexy so powerful
Impression now: oh the toxic tragedy of the Modern Chantry literally embodied.
Favourite moment: Her death scene is incredible. Amazing voice acting and very impactful, the hubris, the drama, and ultimately actually even a little sad.
Idea for a story: I have spoken before about the idea of Solas bringing down the Veil early, leading to big problems as suddenly, a bunch of people awaken as mages that weren't before; Meredith being one of them, and also dealing with being suddenly extremely lyrium sick.
Secondly, Meredith embodying Hawke's Pride or Rage in the fight against the Nightmare demon and being a Cole-esque situation where it's uncertain how much of her is really there, considering she didn't exactly die properly, and Hawke not being sure themselves if they're still alive, but bouncing between Meredith and Orsino (Despair) who are helping them fight the Nightmare, who has created a vast and endless loop of Hawke's powerlessness in Kirkwall - a sort of, dreamlike timeloop story. Hawke only starts breaking out of the Nightmare's hold when they do what they never managed to do when they were alive, which was get Meredith (in her incarnation as the more positive side) and Orsino (as Hope) to work together to help them, due to realising essentially that they were being trapped into the same repeating patterns (cue commentary on mage templar dynamics repeating oppressively) and overcoming those negative feelings those two were feeding off to make it work. Also it's gay and polyam and Hawke maybe returns double possessed. Who knows.
Unpopular opinion: Not unpopular, but Meredith is a victim of the Chantry, who then goes on and victimises others. She is the perfect templar and exactly what the Templar Order values and searches for. If it hadn't been for the red lyrium causing her atrocities to become visible to the wilfully blind like Cullen, she would have continued leading the city and her troops with full backing and support regardless of the illegal Annulment. She was a great character, an amazing villain, and she still would have been a more interesting character to play leader of the Red Templars or Inquisition military advisor than Samson or Cullen.
Favourite relationship: Her dynamic with Elthina fascinates me. Elthina's frustration at Meredith, who is slipping into a lyrium madness, not being able to keep up with her politically and manage the powder keg of Kirkwall in a way that satisfies them both when previously the two of them have worked so well together to do just that is great. So much packed into one short scene.
Favourite headcanon: The Andraste in Kirkwall's Chantry was deliberately modelled off Meredith, who started wearing her circlet to accentuate the similarity.
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I rewatched saw 6 and 3d lately and I'm like man did a woman hurt Kevin Greutret feelings between movies because the amount of misogny 3d has compared to 6. It makes me concerned for saw x since he's doing that one too.
oh literally...like for the most part i think the first six saw films do their best to portray women well and work against the conventional archetypes for women in horror and film in general. amanda is arguably the most complex character in the whole franchise and it's very clear that shawnee, bousman, tobin, james, leigh, and everyone involved in the amanda trilogy put a lot of care into her character, even if her story doesn't have a happy ending. we get lynn for so little time but she is so goddamn good in what we do get: she's smart and emotional, detached and caring, a cheating wife grieving the loss of her child but refusing to properly address it, who manages to hold her own in a nightmare situation. alison isn't a nagging housewife who refuses to understand her husband; she's a sympathetic woman who overpowers a home invader and is rightfully angry because she suspects her husband is cheating on her. kerry and perez are hands down the most competent members of law enforcement that we see in the first seven films and they're also the only two cops tested who understand the games, which the apprentices ultimately punish them for. also all the women of the group traps...brit is my ultimate beloved but luba! laura! addison! even the brief shit we get of simone...SUCH a small role but such an interesting perspective on a survivor, because she knew she deserved to be tested but didn't come out of it grateful or anything. wish we'd gotten more of her.
and then of course there's jill, who is so fascinating and who 7 did so dirty. like. here's this woman who has lost so much but who still tries to help others, who left her husband because of his descent into cruelty and grief even though she still loved him, who continued to love him even when he became a serial killer, who disapproved of everything he did but still willingly lied to the authorities again and again, who played the game so goddamn well. she's such a fucking interesting character and it really is complete misogyny that she was killed by hoffman of all people. like. that man could lose a game of chess to a duck and you're telling me that he got the upper hand over jill tuck? not buying it, kevin.
this isn't even getting into the horrific misogyny of the opening trap (why the hell does team jigsaw suddenly care about a young woman playing the field) and the fact that 3/4 of the other players in bobby's test are women (and the man's death is far more tame in comparison). like i really do consider joyce's death to be one of the worst in the series because of how needlessly brutal and long it is, and how she was perhaps the biggest victims of bobby's lies. horrifically murdered in such a drawn out way because of something her husband did. which also rings true for lynn and jill (two of my other least favourite deaths), but i think joyce's is extra sour because we know nothing about her besides her relationship to bobby.
the entire movie is just such a jolting change from the rest of the franchise, which doled out suffering in equal measure regardless of gender and made an effort to make their female characters seem like actual people. the same can't be said for 7/3d/the final chapter/whatfuckingever, and it's almost making me...very wary of saw x. i hope that greutret actually wanting to make this one means that it's on the same level as vi, which i truly adore, but...idk. not sure if the man who completely fucked up the character of jill tuck deserves to make another saw film.
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what are your galvatron ships and what makes them appealing to you? :]
Thanks for sending an ask! I assume this is in response to the rarepair post but I'm gonna talk about all my Galvatron ships regardless of rarity.
GalvaCyc
The way Cyclonus basically worships the ground Galvatron walks on fascinates me. He's completely loyal, even despite the physical and verbal abuse Galvatron puts him through and I want it explored so badly. Why is he like that? Is it coded into his very being? Is there more to their relationship that we don't see? I need answers.
Also, Webworld. The way they call out for each other when Torkulon was going to devour Galvatron's mind pulls at my heartstrings every time. Cyclonus' voice crack and Galvatron's abject fear at what's essentially reliving his worst nightmare. And then, after that's all set and done, after Cyclonus (accidentally) betrayed Galvatron and lured him into a trap and Galvatron makes it out through sheer force of will... Cyclonus falls into place next to Galvatron and they continue as normal. They're insane. They drive me insane.
GalvaScourge
I just really like Scourge in both the cartoon and the Marvel comics and I think he deserves some lovin' from Galvatron. I prefer Scourge's silly relationship dynamic with Cyclonus but it pains me greatly whenever I see Galvatron and Cyclonus in a piece without Scourge. There's nothing specific about them that's appealing other than that I like both characters, but I do like a poly dynamic between them + Cyclonus which leads us to...
GalvaCycScourge
I basically can't ship Galvatron and Cyclonus and not Scourge. They're a matching set of three do NOT separate. The Unicronians as a whole are incredibly fascinating to me. Character-wise, design-wise, concept-wise they are meant to be together, working in tandem. If you only have GalvaCyc you're missing an entire third of their equation. Idk, maybe I just miss Scourge whenever I don't see him. Only exception to this for me is the Marvel comics, where I very much enjoy the CycScourge duo separate from Galvatron.
GalvOp
I'm firmly in the "Megatron and Galvatron aren't interchangeable" camp, they're two completely distinct beings. I even like playing with the idea that Galvatron doesn't have Megatron's memories. So, I know this, Galvatron knows this, but all of the non-Unicronian characters seem convinced that Galvatron = Megatron. This allows for some absolutely godtier drama in Galvatron and Optimus' fucked up relationship. They'd be horrible for each other. The matrix doesn't want this. The Autobots don't want this. The Decepticons don't want this. They make each other worse and better at the same time through a long series of misunderstandings and lack of communication. The appeal to GalvOp is that there's no way their relationship ends well and also why I want to write 500 GalvOp fics where they tear each other apart. This is also fueled by the end of S3, where Galvatron acts different around Optimus, much more like his Marvel comic counterpart whose personality I prefer anyway.
GalvaSound
I love Carnage in C-Minor almost solely because of how weird of an episode it is, but also because it has an interesting window into Galvatron and Soundwave's relationship. They vibe together and fly away into the sunset holding hands, which implies a relationship deeper than the one Megatron and Soundwave had. I like tying in Soundwave's telepathic abilities to portray him as constantly trying to seek whatever is left of Megatron in Galvatron's psyche. In return Galvatron likes Soundwave because of some leftover familiarity. But again, this isn't even remotely a good or healthy relationship- I don't think any of these are but that's their appeal. I think a big turning point in GalvaSound would be when Soundwave realizes that there's no way he can get Megatron back, and he either needs to accept Galvatron as he is or break off the relationship.
TronTron
Okay. Hear me out here. Marvel comics Galvatron is my favorite version of Galvatron and I have an absolutely incredible amount of thoughts on him (and Galvatron II). But, I fully believe that if he wasn't busy trying to make Unicron-destroying machines in the past he absolutely would have sex with his past self. Galvatron is that bitch in every way. He wouldn't even be attracted to Megatron he'd just want the thrill of manipulating him into a fuck without Megatron knowing who Galvatron is. There'd be no love or intrigue here, just Galvatron being a horny bastard.
GalvaRod
I don't ship GalvaRod I'm just mentioning it here because it's such a big ship. I think the appeal is the standard rival shipping affair common in fandoms + Hot Rod/Rodimus' angst. People want a big strong guy to appreciate Rodimus while he's Going Through It. And lemme be clear, I do love Rodimus, I think he's the best Prime and the best main character in all of Transformers. He's my favorite Autobot (closely followed by Ultra Magnus), I just don't actively ship him with Galvatron. I definitely read GalvaRod fics, but that's mostly because it's so popular there isn't much else to read.
Bonus: UltraCyc
Obviously, not a Galvatron ship, but I do love this ship, and I love it even more when Galvatron isn't an antagonistic force on their relationship. Galvatron is just eccentric enough to be completely okay with their relationship. I especially like pairing UltraCyc with GalvaCycScourge. There isn't enough of that in the world, but I have some ideas...
This ended up so long... but it's nice to finally get some of the thoughts oscillating in my head out into the world.
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I'm curious, why do you ship Peardina? To Me, that sounds something like an Interesting Ship if ya ask Me😏
honestly a lot of it is, like... the appeal of finally seeing a character pearl's age who is actually a named character central to an episode, and one who never looks down on her or abandons or betrays her in any way, combined with the implied complicated history, and a dash of Projecting A Relatable Exploration Of Being A LGBT Teenage Girl.
see, before squidina finally showed up the only characters who were ever any good to her were like... her dad and her brother figures. all of her friends had been interchangeable background characters not allowed to exist with any real concrete identity that would be swapped out with other equally interchangeable background characters, and/or continuously shown to be judgemental and rude to her if she ever stepped out of line in terms of conforming to trends and societal norms - if she showed interest in something deemed uncool, she was mocked and belittled. if she hung out with someone considered uncool or lame, also mocked and belittled. it's not an odd thing, to be looked down upon for acting in a way that isn't popular or approved - but even outcasts have someone who doesn't care and supports them regardless. but not even pearl had that - none of pearl's friends were ever really supportive! she could be dumped or betrayed at a moments notice! ... until squidina.
squidina being below pearl on the social totem pole that is the public school heirarchy meant that she's not really a character meant to look down upon pearl, she was in no position to do so - and that in fact, pearl was repeating the behaviors of her peers with squidina implying that pearl looked down upon and belittled her. it was the first time we've really seen pearl in this position rather than being victim to it, and a fascinating peek into the inherently complicated psychology that being a teenage girl in public school brings - that pearl, often in a position of being judged and belittled for who she is, overcompensates by doing the same to another. which is a real thing that happens. but we know that pearl's a good person with a good heart! and we are reminded of it when we see how squidina and pearl do get over their conflict and genuinely become friends at the end, that pearl is willing to make an effort to see squidina as an equal and treat her as such, and inherent to the role squidina takes in the episode she never ones puts pearl down or judges her for not being cool enough. pearl makes the active decision to be friends with someone she knows wouldn't be considered cool enough, seemingly not caring anymore. the staggering implications of what that means in the context of pearl's social life shown thus far and her personal growth!!!!!!!!!
AND THEN PATSHOW CASUALLY REVEALS THAT THEY WERE BEST FRIENDS WHEN THEY WERE NINE... where squidina is shown to be ACTIVELY SUPPORTIVE and kind to pearl, and that pearl is just so enthusiastic to be there and spend time with squidina - thus implying, their relationship has been far more complicated than it seemed - with much more history than just what goons on the moon showed and implied!!! and what all of that together implied, the complexity of the narrative between the two and the psychology behind pearl's actions - aahhhhhh!!!!! the complexity. see, i love the complexities!!! even merely implied complexity! i love the exploration of the ways people naturally change over time, and how those changes can affect relationships, and how the resulting changes in relationships in turn can affect the people in them - the cyclical domino effect of change, and the inherently complex nature of being alive and having feelings, and having relationships - it fascinates me!!!
so that the implication that pearl and squidina were best friends with a relationship that was so genuine and supportive, who seemingly had a falling out that lead to a rivalry that lasted for years, and then had to work and make an effort to repair their relationship once reminded why they were friends once and how much that friendship meant to them, ahhhhhh. it's everything i love!!!
tldr: peardina is the really fun intersection of the appeal of karendy (genuinely supportive relationship between two female characters when one is often mistreated by those who should support them) and the appeal of plabs (exploration of complicated relationships and feelings, the work that goes into repairing a relationship)
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i don’t think talia and bruce are people capable of handling jason with that tough love (for reasons distinct of each other and contrary to whatever horse shit is in canon) but i can certainly see barbara not giving two fucks about handling him with kiddy gloves
This is really interesting. This is really really really interesting! I never considered the not being able to handle the tough love aspect in Bruce and Talia but that’s like really new and not something I think I ever seen somebody say. Holy cow I love that! And I do think Barbara would be the kind to not give two fucks and who can be blunt but I think what’s fascinating about her is that she also has a softness to her that is rarely seen and it appears every now and then because she also understands anger. I wish I could hear more about this because it’s so different especially how all these characters puzzle in with each other. Like that’s storytelling at its finest.
i think what’s really deeply disappointing about the way jason’s narrative progresses is not only his own characterization but the way everyone else’s response to it is framed. it feels very surface level and at times emblematic of this conglomerate mindset on the behalf of the family despite the fact that they would realistically react to him in different ways dependent on their relationship with him and their own behavioral tendencies. i think the lack of attribution to the latter is what really gets me esp when it comes to bruce bc unfortunately jason is reintroduced at a time when bruce’s characterization starts to take a nose dive so you get a very bizarre and harsh succession of exchanges between them when i personally feel like bruce would not even be able to emotionally handle jason coming back that way. i think it would utterly break him and render him near nonfunctional and desperate and if he did manage to pull himself together i think he’d be very careful and sensitive bc this is his son who literally died and if he takes one wrong step he could lose him all over again. i really can’t ever see bruce being so harsh and final with jason regardless of whatever it was he did and esp since bruce didn’t even dare exercise that level of harshness with people he did clash with over ethical issues. the fact that jason is family to me would really amplify his hesitance and concern in that regard so i think if tough love was something that ever needed to be employed it would have to come from someone like dick or barbara bc they’re a little better at reigning in their emotions on the job than bruce is. but i sooo agree when you point out that barbara has moments where she can be soft and deeply empathetic too and that really would make her the ideal gateway to jason potentially waking up from the unreality he’s created for himself with the red hood persona
i think that’s also a balance talia carries within herself as well. talia is interesting bc like i said i don’t think she’s a tough love kind of person like it’s not in her to be harsh as a prerogative and that’s only something she relies on in particular straits (lexcorp for example) but she’s also someone who holds people she cares about in high esteem and expects them to meet those standards. like if she knows you’re a good person she expects you to uphold that goodness and not walk back on it and it’s disappointing and frustrating for her when circumstances point to otherwise. that’s what i really love about her no man’s land interaction with bruce. it’s the only part she has to play in that entire saga but it’s monumental bc her expectations of bruce alone are what wakes him up to the reality of his duty. she’s prepared to help him but she’s not prepared to coddle him and allow him to wallow in his misery bc it’s not ultimately helpful to anyone and what they have is a responsibility to use their power to do something. she has a very steadfast belief in people and i think that would apply as much to jason as it does to bruce bc she can see that everything jason feels is a consequence of how deeply he cares and how much he is trying to survive and grasp onto this second chance at making something of his existence with respect to the world. what he’d end up doing as the red hood would devastate her and like i’ve said before i do think she’d take it upon herself to end it bc she knows indirectly she’s responsible for facilitating it but that ending would stem from deep love and concern for jason as opposed to outright condemnation. she’d be disappointed in him but there’s a difference between that and her acting like he’s damned, which is the prerogative a lot of writers seem to go with when they try to engage with jason in any capacity
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five things you find interesting about Doom? Go!
Rubs grubby hands together...........
☆ I absolutely adore the fact he has a good relationship with his family and that they understand/support his point of view. It's so refreshing to have a villain with a pretty good upbringing. The interaction between him and Ashe really speaks to me because of two reasons:
One-- the fact that Ashe speaks to him first. To me it reads as her trying to gain some kind of explanation for his destructive actions. After all, she has a shitty family and likely reckons most those in Talon have similar paths/backstories. It's like she's asking as if to just make sense of him and categorize him as another tragically lead ~villain~. And that's immediately shot down when he answers pretty flat-out that they're supportive of him.
Two-- The TONES. I may be reading way too much into this but the way they speak to each other speaks volumes about what they were feeling in that conversation. The lighter tone Akande uses shows how fond he is of his family, and indicates a level of care he holds for his parents. Meanwhile Ashe's initial tone is jabbing and almost sarcastic, like she knows the answer already. Then it immediately swaps to jealousy in her second line. It's so good and speaks so much about their family dynamics.
☆ The respect he holds for a good handful of the others regardless of their alignment. Apart from Baptiste, he doesn't show malice to most Overwatch heroes. He speaks to 76 and Cassidy like they were having small talk or a business proposal. And while he is technically their enemy, he acknowledges their strengths and for some characters he offers a job position.
☆ AKANDE'S SPORTSMANSHIP LEAKS INTO HIS PERSONALITY. Not a lot of people play Doom so the dialogue is often missed, but he is a pretty good sport when it comes to losing!! If he's wiped out by a Talon member, he commends them as he responds! The tone Akande uses is formidable; he's no sore loser. Man takes L's as lessons and improves himself with them. He's also respectful and somewhat guiding with heroes like Brig and Dva-- admiring their strength and offering his perspective on life... Whether or not they care to hear his opinions is not important. XD
I ALSO WANT TO SAY I LOVE THAT HE TAKES BEING DEFEATED BY KIRIKO WITHOUT ANY BITTERNESS TOO-- He loses like a CHAMP.
☆ Hear me out-- He's a fucking goober. Not in a comic-relief type of way, either. Doom's just got a hint of playfulness in his personality that I think really rounds his character. Some of his lines are so unnecessary when he fights (ie. "Selsmic Slam! Rocket Punch!") that while may be used for gameplay ...... I'd argue that it does something else; it shows him being a bit of a silly nerd because he sometimes acts like a comic book character. Especially with the line "Face my burning fist!" Like..... That's so silly.
☆ The way he dismisses anger as a motivator for so many of the characters is incredibly interesting. It can be assumed that when he killed his mentor the thing that fueled him was rage and such... But if you hear him talk to other characters he condemns characters for using anger as a motivator. Well, correction-- Akande seems to have issue with people who have anger as their only driving force to fight. He doesn't hold back from anyone, chastising Winston the same way he does Reaper when eliminating them.
But yes........ OwO he is fascinating and 100% a fan of Hatsune Miku (trust me I asked him myself)
#hello I am back from the dead#now with enough energy to talk about my manz#femtaile#（ S͓̽ᴘᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʀʏ; ᴏᴏc ）#（ D͓̽ɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʙʀɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛ; ᴀꜱᴋ ）
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