scene Lloyd!!

he is screaming in the void lol

took a day off work because we have new people and training them has made me so irritable that i’m a cunt to be around and i can FEEL that but not stop it so i am removing myself from the situation. Hi.

Getting an absolutely perfect two minutes of playing a piano piece on a recording and then fucking it up so royally that you have to scrap the whole recording

Oh, btw, I would never have noticed that and never did, until it was pointed out:

For example, she herself is Mary, the king’s awkwardly placed oldest daughter who is banished from his presence together with a rejected, painfully dignified spouse (Katherine of Aragon). She is also Elizabeth, another unwanted but ultimately triumphant (if sterile) daughter who, at a stroke, lost a parent (Anne Boleyn) as a child. Mantel’s mother, of course, is Henry, the books’ capricious, death-dealing sovereign, and Jack is Anne Boleyn, the sallow Protestant parvenu. But Mantel’s mother is also Boleyn: small and catlike in her movements, unscrupulous and shape-shifting. Cross-referencing Mantel’s memoir with the novels, the reader encounters the same clusters of descriptors again and again, shared out among Mantel’s mother, Jack, and Anne Boleyn, or among Cromwell, Mantel herself as a child, and Cromwell’s small daughter, Anne. Sometimes a phrase or sentiment from the memoir is lifted virtually unchanged into the novels, as when Mantel’s mother and Jack, like Henry and Anne, are described as “[the] couple who had endured, to be together, so much adverse public opinion.”

I’ve already mentioned this but literally every time someone finds out I can’t swim they immediately offer to teach me how to swim and that is very sweet but then I have to inform them that I have no desire to learn how to swim and then I almost always get asked “well what if there’s an emergency?” which I then have to very very seriously and genuinely inform them that if there is an emergency in which I am to swim for my life or die that I will simply die. I’ve lived long enough, if the universe is going to put me in a swim or die situation then so be it, farewell, I’ll see you in hell

despite the fact that, for at least 14 years, my Notable Dance Ability™ (to the point that every single new teacher and friend AND the artistic director I last auditioned for have to comment on it and/or make me demonstrate) is That Girl Can Jump, I've never thought much about being naturally good at it aside from joking about my thighs but now I'm trying to figure out how to teach kids the progression from like baby jumps to fun jumps and my brain is just like well. you just. you Just Do It. that is All.

Oh my god my para just quit

I'm going to fucking die

I think I've realized the problem with PE. The way that teachers so often treat exercising as a punishment is insane. The goal of a high school PE class should be to teach you how to exercise but all you're going to do is make the people who are already closed off to the idea hate it more.

Plus there's the idea of exercise as causing pain. Maybe this is fine for you if you're trying to be an elite athlete or some shit and you need to be pushed during practices but if you really think about what's happening when a PE teacher forces you to run or do push-ups as a punishment... they are causing you pain on purpose. No other educator is allowed to do that they just can't anymore. Even if it did "make you better at exercise," hitting kids supposedly "made them better at Latin" but we decided to stop doing it anyways because their health comes first

I don't care what bullshit reason you have, pain as a punishment is universally terrible (especially for children) and forcing kids to experience pain in a class they can't get out of will not help them become healthier it'll just make them have pain for a semester and then never be active again

learned new things about a really pretty painting today and learned about a french artist from the 1800s that i didn’t know about before i love teaching

literally @ physics

me: wasn’t allowed to be upset as a child and realize that being upset is ok and not bad and won’t end everything

me at 13: gets distressed when actually upset and shuts down as a human being, closes off and doesn’t express anything unless entirely alone

me now after years of therapy: tries to express distress and being upset in hopes of learning that being upset is not bad

my father who coincidentally never let me be upset as a child: you are taking it too personally. simply, do not let things viscerally upset you. you will be fine. there is no judgement here if you want to let it ruin you but you shouldn’t let it ruin you because it will never change and that is that.

jesus christ i lost my temper today at this one individual from my university 😭😭

it eould have been okay IF IT WASNT IN FRONT OF THE TEACHER OVERSEEING OUR TRAINING

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finally finished up my midterms that was hell

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ah I love seeing the "teachers are monsters for not letting students use the bathrooms whenever they want all the time" discourse starting again babes please