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wandrlustrr · 7 years

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I Am Become

Summary: It's been three years. Zeref is gone, all of his books burned. Natsu is alive, and free to marry the girl of his dreams. But fate is cruel, and Natsu cannot escape what he really is, no matter how hard he tries. If he wants to save everybody from himself, he'll have to go back to the beginning. "Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds."

Pairings: Typical pairings

FF.net chapt. 2 chapt. 4

Chapter 3: Home Again, Home Again

His breathing was coming so fast and hard, a small whine was forced out with each puff. It was taking almost all of Natsu's concentration to stay rooted to the spot, to keep himself from becoming the burning, howling rage demon that he feared. The black char on his hands cracked apart when his fingers twitched, the jagged gaps glowing orange from the fire raging beneath his skin. Small tongues of black flame rose up from his skin before flickering out into dark smoke, shrouding his form in ethereal darkness. The evil in his mind was mirrored by his appearance, it seemed.

Lucy gulped, unsure of what to do. Happy's paws still rested against her back, and she could feel him trembling. Or maybe it was her that was trembling. Either way, it was killing them both to see Natsu in such a state. They could see his muscles seizing violently on his bare torso, arms, and legs. Mavis help her, he looked like he was in so much pain. It was breaking her heart.

"I told you… to run!" A small roar was threaded within Natsu's voice. His clawed hands shot up to grab fistfuls of his pink hair as he keeled over, screaming through his teeth with his eyes shut tight.

Lucy and Happy could feel the heat radiating off of him through the air and the water, but there were goosebumps dotting her skin. It felt like she couldn't breathe, her throat sore and tight with sorrow. She couldn't leave him, Lucy realized, not like this. Not when he needed her most. Lucy took one step forward, and then another, moving out from under Happy's paws and slowly wading through the steamy atmosphere. The small cat started at her actions and gently but urgently called her name. Lucy approached Natsu slowly, pausing every time he tossed himself from one side to the other. With each step that drew her nearer, the scar on her hip began to tingle, as if remembering.

White scarf grasped in one hand, Lucy stopped just inside of Natsu's arm reach and extend the other shaking hand. Her fingers had just barely parted his hair, small pinpricks of heat biting her skin, when Natsu shot up to his full height. A growl rumbled from low in his chest, his lips curled back over his teeth in a feral frown. But he didn't attack, didn't move, and didn't hurt her. He simply glared down at her with eyes that were not his own. If Natsu wasn't already lost, he would be soon.

"Zeref." His voice was low.

Lucy, encompassed in a heat that was just a touch above uncomfortable, held still as well, gazing back at him. Happy watched from where he hovered above the ocean water, not sure what else he could do but watch. This was something only Lucy could do, he knew that. Happy and Natsu loved each other, there was no doubt. But Lucy was on a whole different level with him, and their love could be classified as a magic in its own. However, Happy couldn't help but think that if something were to happen to Lucy in this moment, Natsu would never forgive himself.

Hesitant at first, Lucy reached up with her free hand. "Natsu." He growled louder at the word. "It's okay. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

Her fingers touched the line of his jaw.

In a flash of dark fire, Natsu's hands combusted into flames and swung up at Lucy's head from both sides. Happy cried out, reaching out both paws, but stopped and stared in amazement. Fingers spread out and curved like deadly hooks, the etherious fire engulfing his hands flared brightly as they hovered next to Lucy's ears, singeing any stray hairs. Natsu had managed to stop himself from killing her, if only just so. His trembling had stepped up to full-blown shaking, small choking sounds replacing growls as Natsu fought with every fiber of his being to overcome himself once again.

Lucy, seemingly unfazed by the near-fatal attack, simply continued to look deep into his eyes, refusing to break gazes until his were the familiar dark shade of green once more. The one hand that was touching his jaw slide back behind his head. The hand holding his beloved scarf rose from her side, and Happy watched in awe as Lucy threaded the scarf around both of their necks. It was only long enough to loop once, and Lucy had to step closer to her fiancé to make it work. So close, that when she leaned forward to touch her forehead to his, she was almost pressed up against him. The same dark fire that spat from his hands now kissed her skin, but she wasn't worried. Natsu's flames would never hurt her.

"Come back to me, my love," Lucy said softly, her voice steady as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "You promised you would."

Small sounds reached her ears, and at first Lucy thought that Natsu was hissing. But when she opened her eyes, she saw that the man was actually crying, and there were small tears in his eyes. He was on the verge, Lucy realized, and all he needed was one more push.

"I will never leave you." Lucy gulped as her throat suddenly tightened again. "I love you, Natsu."

The flames flickered out. Natsu gasped suddenly, as if some great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. With the glow quickly fading, the black char on his hands cracked apart and fell away, restoring the secure and calloused hands of the dragon slayer. Though his shaking had stopped, the entire ordeal left Natsu more exhausted than he had ever been, save for one other time in his life. Arms dropping onto Lucy's shoulders, the woman just barely managed to catch him in time to keep him from falling face first into the sea. Sinking down with him, Lucy and Natsu knelt in the knee-deep water. Happy fluttered over, watching over Lucy's shoulder as Natsu took multiple lungfuls of air. When he finally managed to look up at her, his eyes were half-lidded, and tears still sat trapped on his eyelashes.

"I could have killed you." The self-loathing on his face and in his voice was so strong, Lucy felt like she had gotten punched in the gut. But she was so glad to hear his voice, see his eyes, feel his hands.

Lunging forward, Lucy closed the gap between their faces in a desperate kiss. The tears on his cheeks coerced Lucy's own to once again resurface – but this time they were tears of joy. Natsu pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. Happy huffed a sigh of relief as he rested himself upon Natsu's shoulder, nuzzling his face into the scarf around his and Lucy's necks. Natsu pulled away from Lucy, his hands cradling both sides of her face as he took her in. His eyebrows were arched up in sadness, dark thoughts swimming behind his eyes.

"If anything ever happened to you… because of me." He shook his head slightly. "Please, Lucy, I beg you. Don't ever do that again."

"Only if you swear to me," Lucy breathed. "That this will never happen again."

Natsu gazed down at her, not sure of what to say. She and Happy were the two most important things in his life. He would move mountains and dry up seas to keep them safe, and hunt down anyone or anything that caused them harm to the ends of the earth. But what was he supposed to do when it had been him who had done the damage? Both of them were looking at him, mixed feeling of relief, joy, and fear playing on their faces. Realizing that no words could every convey how sorry he was for making them worry so much, Natsu simply embraced them both, planting a kiss to Lucy's hair.

The truth of the matter was that Natsu was scared too, because he couldn't do what Lucy wanted. He couldn't guarantee that this would never happen again. The etherious within him had been completely undetectable before encountering the Leviathan, making Natsu think that it was gone – but now…

Natsu could still feel it. Incredibly weak, and almost non-existent, but definitely there, waiting behind his heart.

Natsu didn't say anything. He released a shuddering sigh as his arms closed tighter over Lucy and Happy. For a long while, the three of them sat in the waters of the sea, the steam dissipating and revealing the sun once more. No one spoke as their tears dried, thoughts filled with the events of the past hour, and a silent pondering as to what it all meant.

After meeting with Captain Kobe on shore, the four of them walked along the beach back to Gladrindale. Apart from Kobe thanking them profusely for slaying the Leviathan, it was a silent journey. The trek took up the better part of the day, and when they finally entered the small fishing village, the sun was an hour or so from setting. Lucy, Natsu, and Happy apologized for the destruction of the Light Chaser, knowing full well that it meant that the fisherman was semi-permanently out of work. Kobe was good-natured about it, though, and insisted that it wasn't their fault and that he had considered something like that happening when he had volunteered to help with the job. This did little to dissuade the guilt that they all felt, however. They all reached the same silent decision as they parted ways with the boatless captain, no doubt eager to return home to his worried wife.

They changed back into their civilian clothes before meeting with the Mayor of Gladrindale at the brink of dusk. The tall fat man was beside himself with gratitude, congratulating them on such a difficult accomplishment and even offering to double their reward money. Lucy smiled and thanked him in return for the generous offer, but insisted that the mayor give the money to Kobe, so that he may buy materials to build a new boat. The man had been unspeakably brave after all, and he deserved to continue his life unhindered now that things would be returning to normal. It wasn't like Lucy payed rent anymore, she had said with a smile towards Natsu. The Mayor grinned and accepted her terms, completely agreeing that the fisherman fully deserved it.

They decided not to stay in Gladrindale, and instead took the night train back to Magnolia. Natsu's usual reluctance towards transportation was completely over powered by the urge to return home and sleep in his own bed. He spent the majority of the five-hour train ride sprawled out on the seat bench, pressing his face into the cushion. Lucy and Happy dozed as well, but mostly they sat in silence and watched Natsu.

"I'm taking him to see Porlyusica tomorrow." Lucy finally murmured.

Happy sighed and nodded. "I think that's a good idea."

There was a lull of silence before Lucy spoke again.

"What happened, Happy?" Her voice was low, though the train was nearly empty and Natsu didn't seem to be listening. "I thought E.N.D.'s book was burned?"

Happy considered her words, thinking something along the same lines. "It was. We were all there. We saw Zeref go down, and the book crumbled to ashes. And then…" The exceed shuddered at the unpleasant memory. "I don't know, Lucy. Maybe the book wasn't the only thing making him an etherious?"

Lucy shook her head. "It doesn't seem likely. Mavis told us that the books Zeref created were the physical manifestation of the etherious' power. Since all the demons he created are pure ethernano, except for Natsu, destroying the book destroys the demon." Lucy bit her lip. "And as far as I know there are only two ways to destroy Zeref's books; defeating the demon, or defeating Zeref."

Lucy and Happy absorbed her words in a span of silence. A frown curved out of Happy's mouth as a horrible thought entered his head.

"Lucy…" He was almost afraid to say his mind out loud, as if that might somehow make it true. "You don't think that Zeref could still be… alive, somehow, do you?"

Lucy didn't say anything. She didn't want to consider that option, but the truth was that she already had. If the black wizard was still alive after all these years, then he would have made himself known, right? The Leviathan had appeared around four months ago out of nowhere. Demons from the Books of Zeref don't just pop up, especially after their maker was presumed dead. So what had happened? Why now? And what did it mean for Natsu? These questions and countless more swirled in Lucy's head as she stared at the man on the bench across from her. She had a bad feeling that whatever had happened today on the ocean wasn't over yet.

The train pulled into Magnolia Station about a quarter to midnight. The streets were quiet as the group made their way through the city and out to the rural path that lead straight up to their house, Natsu and Lucy walking hand in hand, his thumb gently stroking circles on top of her knuckles. When they finally walked through the front door, everyone was tired and hungry, but it felt extremely good to be home.

Lucy had officially moved in with Natsu and Happy about a year ago, combining his house with her furniture. They had expanded it slightly, adding another compartment to the back side of the house that would become their bedroom so they wouldn't have to sleep in the living room. They had built it together, and was their proudest accomplishment thus far. A small yellow wooden star with her name on it was added to the sign hanging in front of the house. Living together had started off rather rocky, what with Lucy having a lot of stuff for a small house and Natsu having a loose understanding of the word 'tidy'.

Fortunately, both of them had similar methods of conflict resolution. Unfortunately, those methods involved throwing things and loud voices, which devolved into wrestling on the floor.

Which then turned into make-up sex, and resulted in compromise. They made it work.

Lucy had given up a few things to make room, and Natsu began to pick up after himself more. The house became a home, and they grew up together. The final step of the plan was to grow old together.

As hungry as they were, nobody was willing to cook, so everybody went to bed with empty stomachs. Natsu and Lucy shuffled through the kitchen to their bedroom while Happy fluttered up to his roost on one of the branches of the tree that grew through the house. The small blue cat was out before he could completely curl up in his nest.

As they entered their room, Lucy sighed heavily as she sat down on the bed and stretched her arms over her head. Her bones were weary from the abnormally long and unexpected day. Exhausted – as well as emotionally drained – all Lucy wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep for half a day. She was starting to pull the covers back from the bed when she realized that Natsu hadn't joined her on the bed. Looking up, Lucy saw that he was still standing in the doorway, eyes cast to the floor. His forlorn expression was dimly lit by the fist-sized lacrima sitting on the bedside table. Lucy put the blankets back down and turned to sit so she was facing Natsu, waiting for him to speak first. It took several moments of silence before he did.

"I wouldn't blame you if you preferred I sleep on the couch tonight," he mumbled, not meeting her gaze.

Lucy wasn't sure what to say at first. "I guess that's up to you, but… I kinda don't want to be alone right now. I don't want you to be alone either."

Natsu seemed relieved, which surprised Lucy. Did he really think she wouldn't want to be with him after what had happened? Natsu walked over to the other side of the bed and sat, drawing his legs up to sit cross-legged on the blankets. One hand ran through his hair as he huffed a laugh through his nose.

"Nice to know I haven't scared you away." He looked up into Lucy's eyes. She smiled back at him, though her eyes didn't match it.

"Do you really think you can scare me of so easily?" Lucy joked. "You know I'm not going anywhere. Not till after we get married."

That made Natsu smirk. But the happy moment quickly dissipated from his face.

"It's all I've been thinking about," Natsu spoke softly. "Today, I mean. Why it happened, what it means… None of the answers I could think of point to anything good."

Lucy put her hand on top of his. Her skin was soft and cool against his.

"I think it would be best if we wait to think about those things till morning. Besides, you seem okay now." Lucy just barely felt him tense beneath her. "Right?"

Natsu hesitated just the slightest, which immediately sent up a red flag in Lucy's head. But before she could speak on it, Natsu was beaming at her and clasping her hand in his.

"I'll be okay for now, I promise." With that, he yawned widely, showing his pointed teeth. "Are you going to be okay?"

Lucy grinned back at him, raising a hand to his face and touching the bandage covering the cut on his jaw. "I hope that doesn't scar. You don't need a matching one." She was implying the scar on the other side of his face that he had gotten three years ago.

Natsu stuck his tongue in his cheek, pressing against Lucy's finger. Laughing at her irked expression, Natsu flopped over and nuzzled his head against his pillow. "I'll have Wendy make it like new when we stop by the guild tomorrow. Let's go to bed." He patted the spot on the mattress next to him invitingly.

Lucy grinned and nodded. When they were both settled under the blankets, Lucy reached over and tapped a finger against the lacrima, putting out the light. Darkness enveloped the room, save for the dim starlight shining through the window. Though they couldn't see each other, Natsu and Lucy easily shifted to fit next to each other like a practiced habit. He looped one arm around her as she curled up against his side, her head and fingers resting on his chest. It wasn't long before their breathing was in sync and their hearts beat in tandem.

"Hey, Luce?" Natsu's gruff voice cut through the silence. "Did I ever tell you that Igneel used to sing me to sleep?"

He felt Lucy nod against his chest. "On the nights that you couldn't sleep. You taught me the lullaby. What made you think of that?"

Natsu gave a small shrug. "I don't know." He turned his head and planted a kiss into her hair. "Just popped into my head all of a sudden."

They all slept in well past dawn the next morning. When Lucy woke up, it felt like her head was packed full of cotton. It almost hurt. When she slipped out of bed, Natsu was still sawing logs. One shower and beauty routine later, Lucy was feeling much better, though still a little rundown. If she wasn't careful, she was going to get a head cold. Natsu had gotten up and was already cooking breakfast. His specialty – spicy breakfast omelets – infused the air with a peppery taste that made Lucy's mouth water. Happy had climbed down from his perch and was pouring out three glasses of orange juice on the small table in the corner of the kitchen. Apparently the cat had felt the need for some extra vitamins as well.

Lucy stepped up behind Natsu, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her chin on his shoulder. One of his hands came up to hold hers while the other carefully manipulated the spatula to flip the eggs over the stuffings of peppers, herbs, and seasoned meat. Craning his head around, Natsu pecked a quick kiss to Lucy's cheek, muttering a "good morning" to her. Lucy hummed in response, then disentangled herself to prepare their usual bowl of fruit.

After they had eaten, the three mages prepared for the day and headed out the door. It was a sunny day in Magnolia, the spring air just a touch above cool at the perfect temperature for light clothing. While walking to the guild, Lucy informed Natsu that they were going to see Porlyusica. She had been expecting retaliation, since her fiancé and the old witch got along about as well as oil on water. But Natsu simply groaned and nodded in agreement. After all, he wanted to know what had happened more than anyone.

When they entered through the front door of the guild, Lucy and Natsu cast large smiles around the hall at the chorus of greetings that welcomed them. After the war three years ago, the Fairy Tail guild building had needed some refurbishing. But mostly it was the same as it ever was, only with a few upgrades made here and there.

"Welcome back!" Mirajane called from behind the bar. The Take-Over mage also hadn't changed much in the past three years, but now she wore her white hair in a braid over her shoulder. She smiled brightly at the three. "How was Gladrindale?"

Natsu and Lucy shared a look. They could see in each other's eyes that they both thought that it would be best to only tell what had happened to the people that needed to know. Lucy stepped up to Mira, lowering her voice.

"Actually Mira, we were hoping to speak to the master. Is he in?" She leaned over the bar, practically whispering. "It's kind of urgent."

Mira seemed confused at that. "Yes, he's here. He's in his office. Freed? Can you watch the bar for me?"

Freed, who was already placed behind the bar and was busy polishing glasses, raised his chin at the woman. Mira lead them through the guild toward the far left corner, where the Master's office resided. It was the quietest location in the guild, but things still got a little loud. Mirajane knocked on the door, opening it at the gruff response from the other side.

"Master?" She poked her head in. "Natsu, Lucy, and Happy are back."

Mira opened the door fully and allowed them all to step inside. Lucy looked across the desk cluttered with paperwork to the high-backed chair that was facing away from them. It was only when the door was closed again and Mira had gone to stand to one side of the desk that the master finally spoke.

"So, Natsu, I guess you managed not to destroy half a town this time, due to the lack of complaints I've received." Laxus spun around in his chair, grinning at the other dragon slayer. "I gotta say, I'm almost disappointed."

#fairy tail #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #nalu #my story #ftfanfics #E.N.D.#zeref dragneel

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