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humanpurposes · 6 months

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These are all my thoughts about the Season 2 teaser, under a cut because I'm mentioning book spoilers and doing some speculating, and also because I have sooooo much to say

Starting off with the first shot of Rhaenyra, standing by Shipbreaker Bay with Storm's End in the distance. The fact that she goes looking for Luke is so heartbreaking, but this is why I'm so excited for the show!! In the book there's not really an explanation of how the Blacks found out about Luke's death, just Rhaenyra's reaction and the "son for a son" line. I do really love the portrayal of Rhaenyra as a mother in the first season, especially her bond with Luke and I can so see her rushing to find out what happened to him.

I'm so excited for Emma D'Arcy in general. I'll be honest, it took me a while to warm up to post time jump Rhaenyra, especially because I felt like the character felt so different to Milly's Rhaenyra, but they really won me over in episode 10. What Emma is able to do with just their expressions is incredible, particularly in the very last shot of season 1, that look of grief and fury was so impactful. I hope we get more 'silent' acting moments from Emma and I think this could be one of those.

I wanna jump a head and mention the parallels between this scene and the shot of Alicent by some lake? I really thought that was supposed to be Alys Rivers until they showed her face. Obviously there's a similar visual there with Alicent and Rhaenyra. My questions are, where is this meant to be? It looks misty and you can't see much in the background, so I'm thinking it could be a dream given that she's dressed very plainly? The other lake that comes to mind is the God's Eye, but in the book, Alicent doesn't leave King's Landing. This bit also excited me because I've kinda used bodies of water as symbol for death and grief in one of my fics haha.

Sticking with Alicent, the first we see of her in the teaser is her speaking with someone off camera, probably Larys Strong because you can see his cane. My girl looks tired (probably because her son started a war whoops) and she seems very reluctant with the "many will die line." Super excited for more Olivia Cooke looking melancholic!!

I hate Criston Cole's haircut, but it's not a big deal.

Aegon on the throne! He still looks miserable lmao. I think of all the interpretations of the characters I think Aegon will end up disappointing me the most. I really don't think they developed him enough last season to set up any meaningful rivalry with Rhaenyra, which I can understand because the focus is on Rhaenyra and Alicent. But I feel like he's been left out of his own story in a way because in the book, he doesn't want the throne, but is convinced by Criston to stake his claim and properly fight for it. I have a feeling HotD is still going for a mopey emo boy. I mean he literally has a chain around him. Also I wish his crown had more rubies, it looks so underwhelming, but the dragon embroidery on his tunic is sick.

Also, dragon shoulder things going on with Rhaenyra's dress? Slay, she's the more fashionable monarch for sure.

0:26, the dragon flying overhead. I think this is Nettles!! Some people have been saying they're disappointed she was left out, but I think could be her looking at Sheepstealer? And she has some stick thing idk it looked like a shepherd's cane to me.

And immediately after that we have a shot of a dragon flying over another lake. It looks like the same one? I was thinking it might also be Jace on Vermax when he's delivering his messages to the Vale and Winterfell? Omg but so many dragons this season!! I'm so excited to see all of them.

Going back to Daemon, he's definitely on a war path this season, we have that first shot of him grabbing his helmet and storming off, presumably to battle, then he's beheading someone in front of a Weirwood tree. One thing I really found interesting about the time jump in season 1 was how subdued older Daemon was compared to his younger self, even when he killed Vaemond he played it off so nonchalantly. But then in episode 10 he's just desperate to make a show of strength and end the conflict quickly and violently, with Rhaenyra being the one who has to restrain him. So I'm interested to see how their dynamic as a couple will play out, and to see a return to form for Daemon as a force of nature.

Aemond being the very next frame after Daemon swings his sword oof. I'll get more into Aemond in a bit because I will talk about him forever and ever amen once I get started. But that LOOK, my man is yearning for the throne and we're all obsessed.

0:38, that looks like Seasmoke to me, which would mean the person standing in front of the dragon is Laenor or Addam of Hull. I don't really have an opinion about Laenor possibly coming back, we'll just see what happens. Would be quite devastating for Corlys and Rhaenys though, after mourning their son for 6 years.

speaking of mourning sons Helaena looks so stunning in 0:40. I tried to avoid those leaks but these look like they're from Jaehaerys' funeral procession. I'm looking forward to more prophetic stuff from Helaena, hopefully get more into her relationship with her family. I just hope she gets the time she deserves in the show because in the book she very much exists in the background, especially after Blood and Cheese. And the audacity of them to show a shot of the Dragonpit before Helaena, that's just cruel 🥺

UM ALSO 0:52. Took me a second to register what was happening the first time I watched this. Something that really stands out to me is how gentle Helaena's expression is (unless I'm misreading Phia's face completely) but that is something that's mentioned in the book, Helaena supposedly met them very calmly. I just know Phia Saban is going to do an amazing job in this scene and I'm absolutely terrified to see it play out.

Ok going back again, there's some battle scene or whatever, that's cool ig.

0:45-0:47 Rhaenys' voiceover, her and Rhaenyra (I'm guessing at Dragonstone) and then BAELA!! Again, I'm really hoping for some canon divergence from the book because I am so down to see Baela being utilised more! That's something I didn't really get about the book, Baela has Morning but they only participate in one battle. I'm thinking this is her at Rook's Rest, seeing Rhaenys die or getting there too late.

0:53 Duel of the Cargyll twins? omg :(

And to finish off, the shots of Aemond, then Rhaenyra, then Vhagar. Excited to see Rhaenyra being more active in the fighting. Although her unwillingness to fight her own battles was something that was used against her in F&B, I think it feels very much in line with what we saw of her in season 1.

Aemond looks SO GOOD, and I know these probably won't be from the same scene, but with the shots of him and Rhaenyra being one after the other, I feel like there could be something there about the (for what of a better word) rivalry between them in the aftermath of Luke's death. If we got to see them face off against each other or have some kind of interaction, that would be insane.

Ok now I'm going to ramble about my war criminal princess 🥰

So we all know one of the biggest talking points of the season 1 finale was the part Aemond played in Luke's death and what this means for him as a character moving forward.

It's really interesting to compare HotD Aemond vs F&B Aemond, because in the book he comes across as a lot more abrasive, ruthless and impulsive. In the show, Aemond is an imposing but understated presence which is so unnerving and so captivating to watch, and then he has these moments where his anger comes out. I think in episode 8, his anger feels deliberate when he reacts to Luke laughing at him at the dinner, it's all a threat and a reminder of what he's capable of. It's all to get a reaction and it works, he insults the Strong boys, laughs off Jace's punch, but the moment he comes face to face with Daemon he backs down. Then we have Storm's End in episode 10. His anger is meant to intimidate again, but the difference is that there's no one to make him back down, so he takes things too far, chases Luke and is helpless to stop Vhagar when she goes in for the kill.

I love what Ewan Mitchell has said about the bond between Aemond and Vhagar, how their bond has changed his view of himself and shaped the person he becomes. He's bonded to an ancient war dragon, he's an ambitious second son who has to settle for being a supporting act to his useless older brother, and he's been through a lot of physical and emotional trauma since childhood, so while he's trying to play the part of Alicent's golden child, he's had all this pain simmering under the surface, which was inevitably going to reach boiling point.

I think it makes perfect sense that Aemond's first kill was 'accidental' considering he's never had any experience with actual combat, but this doesn't mean it has to detract from his character and in fact I think this lends itself to the tragedy of his story. Enough people have said it but I think he'll come back to King's Landing, get a right bollocking from Alicent and Otto, and he'll play it off as though he killed Luke to avenge his missing eye. The alternative is admitting that he doesn't have full control of his dragon, not a great sign considering she is the Green's most important asset in the war. B&C is going to devastate their whole family but with Aemond has to carry the guilt of being the one who drew first blood, and I think from there we'll really see him lean into this persona of The Kinslayer and become more ruthless and overtly violent. AND THEN after Rook's Rest and Aegon's injury, Aemond will become Regent and will be closer to the throne than he ever has been or ever will be.

I think he's just going to become completely insane and even more unhinged and I'm absolutely buzzing to see it all go down. Just please, HBO, for the love of God, give him more than one outfit.

Additional thoughts:

I wonder if they'll keep the GoT theme for the opening credits? I kinda want something new, maybe a bit darker? Either way, so excited for new stuff from Ramin Djawadi

No Daeron which isn't looking good, yikes. Dare we hold out hope he'll show up in a later season? But then there was a shot of the Hightower army in the teaser and he'd be with them

We also have no Cregan Stark which surprised me because I really thought they'd play up nostalgia points with Winterfell

No Sunfyre :(

No Caraxes :( unless we count that quick shot of Daemon in his saddle.

No Dreamfyre, but this is less surprising

I'm nitpicking now, but I would have liked a shot of the Velaryon Fleet too, that would have been cool

#me when i overshare #house of the dragon season 2 #house of the dragon #hotd #hotd season 2 #aemond targaryen

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ichabodjane · 2 years

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Identity and Self-Determination for Human!Halbrand, Bronwyn, and the Southlanders

Guys this is such a long post, I have so many thoughts, I tried to keep them organized but idk how well I did. Also this post was partially inspired by a fascinating convo with @demi-lancer so go check that blog out, too!

Disclaimer: I love all the theory posts about Saubrand, I think both the writers and Charlie Vickers have done a great job of keeping things open to interpretation. But I’m going forward here with the assumption that Halbrand is 100% USDA Certified Grade A Manflesh.

Tl;dr: Human!Halbrand and the Southlanders are interesting to me precisely because they are "just some dudes" trying to forge an identity against all the craziness in Middle Earth. Our two main Southlander protagonists, Halbrand and Bronwyn, aren't heroes because of special powers, they're heroes because they show up and do the work to give their people a shot at making their own fate.

RoP makes heavy use of the themes of identity and self-determination, which are important themes in the Tolkien Legendarium generally. Naming yourself, naming others, or being named BY others…this has real consequences in Arda for the fortunes of both individuals and sociopolitical groups.

The Southlanders are struggling to forge their own path and their own identity. Their ancestors tried to do it by casting their lot with Morgoth but that didn’t work out very well. By the time we’re introduced to their society, they have been denied their right to identity and self-determination for quite a long time. The elves have been keeping a close eye on them (maybe limiting their movements?) and both elves and Numenoreans look down on them as a whole. They’ve also been denied access to the elven affluence and resources that the Numenoreans have had. For example, Halbrand has clearly never seen anything like the giant Numenorean statues before and he’s so blown away just by being in a prosperous city built by humans. (And then Galadriel’s just like “these men are not like you” wow girl, ouch, okay then.)

Not only have the Southlanders been under elven control for generations but they then have Adar and Co showing up to completely remove their agency by killing or enslaving them and destroying the land they live on. Bronwyn’s heroic journey starts because she stands up against this. She rallies who she can because screw you, you don’t get to just waltz in and demand we bend the knee and sacrifice those rights or our lives to you. Even if Adar and Co have faced similar mistreatment, they don’t get to claim their own rights by taking away others’ (a topic for another post).

And when the villagers return home to prepare for that last battle, what do they do? Pop an orc head on a pike. That’s a powerful message: you try to take this from us and we will fight back.

We see this struggle happening on an individual level with Halbrand in the way he names himself vs being named by others and the ways in which he compromises safety for identity.

Halbrand is evasive about his past (I think partially for safety and partially because of the shameful and/or painful memories there) but he is very clear about his name. When he and Galadriel enter the throne room, Miriel only addresses Galadriel (giving her agency to name herself) but he adds his name in there, too.

Tamar the Guildsman is in the room, hears Halbrand’s name, but later either forgets or pretends to forget. Instead he just calls him “low man” repeatedly, showing again how the Southlanders are defined and thus limited by others. At first, Halbrand is evasive because Tamar is clearly trying to intimidate. But once confrontation is inevitable, Halbrand makes sure to repeat his name before smacking Tamar into the wall. (Apparently Halbrand is unaware of the effect of head trauma on memory formation but hey none of us are perfect.)

Halbrand also holds onto the king sigil/amulet (omg what is in that pouch, bro, is it the blood your ancestor swore on?) despite its threat to his plan of outrunning his past. It clearly means something in his community; Bronwyn recognizes it immediately. It’s unique enough that Galadriel can dig up its backstory at her local public library. So if he’s trying to disappear, why hold onto this thing? Because it’s crucial to his identity and in the end he’s not willing to give that up. In fact, he does the opposite: he takes it back to the Southlands in an effort to use the identity it creates to save his society.

I’m really excited to follow Halbrand and Bronwyn’s stories as they/their society wrestle with the legacy of past decisions while at the same time struggling just to survive day-to-day. Clearly Halbrand has done some things that he now really regrets. I think his family has probably been closely tied to the cult of Morgoth/Sauron and inter-human conflict in the region (he had to get that combat experience somewhere). Also I just can't stop thinking about the sheer amount of strong chains Adar and Co used to enslave people and the fact that Halbrand is a smith. And if everyone I knew got killed by the person I made chains for OR put in the chains I made? I'd run, too.

Now Halbrand is trying to counteract that past by stepping up to lead and protect his community from essentially the threat of extinction. Bronwyn is on a similar journey, though it seems that her personal past is less dicey. Neither of them have the powers of elves or the advantages of Numenoreans. They’re just regular people who grew up in a troubled area that recently gained A LOT MORE problems. While they have allies like Arondir, Galadriel, and some of Numenor, it’s still down to them to keep their people alive and find a new home now that agriculture in the Southlands is uuhhhhhh probably impossible.

This also sets us up for future wraith!Halbrand (as much as it grieves me to say). Because after struggling against these insane magical forces and seeing so many of your people suffer and die, of course you’re gonna make use of whatever tools might help level the playing field. Like a magical ring of power. In this way, Halbrand isn’t so much an Aragorn parallel as he is a Boromir parallel.

But before the inevitable tragedy, I’m hoping we get to see Halbrand and Bronwyn working together to lead their people to a safer place where they can shed the dark legacies of the past and create both a new identity and a new path for the people who were the Southlanders.

#I just have a lot of feelings about Southlanders guys #and #human halbrand #bronwyn #the southlanders #the rings of power theory #the rings of power meta #tolkien meta #tolkien #adar #sauron #middle earth #halbrand

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you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be · 1 year

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{{ I'm intrigued by your take on Steven Universe! I don't mean to start drama, so feel free to answer privately if you like, and I also don't want to judge you, but I'm curious. How did you come to the conclusion SU's message was "killing people is bad no matter what"? Because I personally interpreted a great big chunk of it to have been justifying Rose shattering Pink Diamond. Like it was necessary for life on Earth to survive, particularly in that she was so often held up as a hero in the early seasons.

I will concur that STEVEN thought it was bad, and whew, Bismuth's first episode is... contentious. And certainly the narrative framing lauded empathy and compassion as ways to solve problems. But where did you gather the "no matter what" part?

You are under no obligation to answer of course, you just seem like someone who always lands on a conclusion For a Reason and I'd like to understand your perspective, if possible!

Its no problem I’d love to share my thoughts!

I’m not really saying I think that is the moral although I don’t think pacifism is a bad thing to teach kids, and if you’ve watched the later seasons you know they didn’t really kill pink diamond they just faked her death, but that’s besides the point.

My point was that a good 75% of the discourse was over the perceived idea that no matter what you don’t kill people because how things turned out with Andy (which was a little tone deaf for the time it came out (it was right after the election) but saying bigoted family can change their minds is a nice day dream that isn’t problematic in of itself) and with the diamonds getting redeemed instead of dead.

Maybe they would’ve tried to kill them after exhausting all other options and showing why they had to do it (can’t go from we were doing this bad thing bc we thought you were dead but you’re not and then five episodes later kill them off, but you could with a whole season of tries to explain what they’re doing is bad-> they don’t listen -> Steven gets hurt for trying to explain this -> repeats -> Stevens friends get hurt -> ok these guys are going down but they simply didn’t have time for that after being canceled and the show that’s entire thing is people are messy and complicated, rose and pearl and the cluster and all the reformed homeworld gems like peridot and lapis who took time to make that heel turn, and can usually become better if given the chance, would’ve been going against their morals to justify killing these people a few episodes after unlocking their tragic backstory

And a lot of the issues was that people were getting redeemed that they didn’t like. The diamonds were genocidal dictators! Rose was born into that family and didn’t stop it! She owned other gems as a high up member of society!

She left her entire family though and fought against that and pushed pearl toward freedom several times and hadn’t hit her growth at the time of spinell and hundreds of years passed between those times. She was messed up and hurt people and changed which was the point, but since she’s dead when the story ends and we only see her as flashbacks we don’t get to see all of it, and she chose her death to make Steven, she wasn’t punished.

I don’t know if Steven universe is rehabilitation is the preferred method to change things and killing is always wrong but that doesn’t mean you can’t fight still (they do still beat the shit out of people and stab them and bubble them) or killing is sometimes needed to protect the oppressed but rehabilitation is the preferred method to change things and they just didn’t have time to express that, but the discourse primarily comes from people who are mad that characters didn’t get what they feel they deserved, and this applies outside killing too. All of the gems suck sometimes bc the moral of the story is people are complicated and kindness can help with a lot of that, but if you’re too mad at what they did then you don’t WANT to redeem or forgive them, you want them to be punished, so everyone who felt like that took the end of the show being “don’t worry we’re good now!” The same as telling people not to punch assholes bc if you’re nice enough they’ll change.

So yeah. I don’t know if Steven universe was anti killing but the main thing that people calling it problematic were mad about was the fact that they thought a childrens show was trying to tell them killing people is wrong and revenge isn’t the way dkdkdkdk. That’s my personal take on it anyway.

#su #steven universe #Su discourse

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colorfuldream · 10 months

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Random Barbie thoughts:

Seeing people say that Ken represented women in Barbie but IMO while the KenS represent how women are treated (explicitly stated, I can't believe how many people somehow miss it), Ken himself represent men. Men who can't really take no for an answer even though you make it clear you won't date them. Men insecure and vulnerable who end up falling into incel/right-wing ideology. Men performing what they think is expected of them and suffering because of it.

And, you know, even though Ken suffers in Barbieland, he's still treated better than Barbie was in the real world. He suffers, he struggles, he's unhappy. And that's shown. That's integral to the story. But guess what? Barbie's own suffering is also shown. Even though it's the focus, it doesn't take away from Ken's. Both men's and women's sufferings are shown at the same time, none of them negate the other. There's not one greater than the other. It's just that the main focus is on Barbie's, and thus women's, suffering. We don't forget about Ken's, about men's, of course but it's not Ken The Movie. He's not the main topic. The movie is about the place of women in society, Barbie discovering herself and her place in it, what being human is.

And that's why people calling him the main character is so deeply gross. Ignoring completely EVERYTHING in the movie to focus on the man and his struggles. Ken was the antagonist. He wasn't the villain, but his actions were antagonistic. (Yes, the overall bad guy is the patriarchy and toxic masculinity but Ken was used to represent them, even though he didn't like it). That's why people like him, we usually gravitate towards the antagonists, especially now that they're more sympathetic and understandable.

We saw him fall into that rabbithole. So we feel attached. But also he didn't have the most development like some people say. Even after losing, he still wanted to be with Barbie and confessed he did all that because of her. He was at the same point as the beginning of the movie, only more open about it. Barbie is the one telling him that he needs to learn to be himself and that he shouldn't live only for her. She's sharing what she learned with him and telling him he needs to be his own person. And THAT is when he will develop as a character. THAT is Barbie's own development shining.

(It's a bit ironic IMO because even his growth is caused by Barbie and not by himself. However they've been established as dolls and have a weird way of thinking. Barbie only deviated because of the person playing with her. Not many people play with Ken dolls so it would be difficult for him to realize he can be his own person too. My own personal interpretation is that because he couldn't achieve this realization on his own, he did everything he did in the movie instead of questioning everything like Barbie did. Anyway!)

Ken was hilarious. He's the comic relief. He was the goofy antagonist. The fact so many people adore him shows that the movie worked at least partly. The jokes landed. But he's not the whole movie. If you stop thinking, if you don't bother seeing beyond the jokes, then you're stupid. I'm sorry but it's true. Critical thinking is a thing. The movie was crystal clear about its themes, its messages, its metaphors. You have to be purposefully obtuse to ignore everything but the funny man on screen in such a movie. I guess some men related to Ken, what he represented, and his struggles more so that's why they ignore everything else?

Anyways, I'm leaving it there because it's messy and ramble-y. Originally, I was only going to talk about what was in the first paragraph. I think it's really fun and incredible what the Barbie team managed to do! They put in so many things in a simple-to-understand movie. One character can represent so many things all at once! Thinking about it scratches an itch in my overthinking brain.

#ondina's text posts!#barbie #barbie movie #ken barbie #fun fact I went to see the movie two weeks or so ago with my two brothers and my older brother (25) is STILL complaining about it and how #men were badly represented and overall misunderstanding the movie... jfc dude. also if you hate it so much stop talking about it??#had to listen to him my dad and uncle (over 50 and over 40) talk about it and feminism... Don't we love hearing men talk about that #I could see he didn't like it in the first place because we usually joke around in the car after and he was super calm #I could have cut the tensio #tension with a knife.#satire and 'girly' aesthetic isn't for everyone yes but the actual message is so clear #how do you misunderstand a kid's movie

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yslkook · 3 years

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TiO (8)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: jungkook is a man of mystery and you take him on a date.

pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc

warnings: cursing, alc, excessive use of pet names, a shitty relationship, unprotected sex (pls use protection, these two are being foolish) , some choking, grinding, making out, oral

word count: ~6.3k

a/n: if you want to be tagged, send an ask plz. would love to hear your thoughts. a big thank you to @cutechim for creating the texts for me lmao<33

***

Jungkook remains tight-lipped about what it was he had done over the weekend, when he had gone with Jin and Mina to a tattoo convention a few hours away. They had ended up staying the night there, and while Jungkook wanted to ask you to come with him, he wondered if it was too soon to ask. After all, you were both still enjoying each other’s company at your own sweet pace.

Eventually his little secret gets put on the back burner for the rest of the week. You were supposed to get bubble tea with him on Tuesday, but unfortunately a last minute work issue with your client and your application came up. You’d ended up working late, your eyes screaming in fatigue and went straight to bed that evening. He had understood, of course he did.

On Thursday, he was supposed to grab lunch with you at a cafe that he thought you might like, but this time it was him who had a conflict. His older sister had showed up to the tattoo parlor without any prior notice. She does this every so often, when things aren’t going well with her on again, off again shitty “boyfriend”.

Jungkook had sighed, cancelling on lunch with you to spend time with Jooyeon and comfort her with fried chicken and ice cream. You had sent an understanding thumbs up and a promise to call him later and end up having lunch with your work wife, Kira instead.

Kira who doesn’t fail to point out the glow in your cheeks and your general aura, even though it’s been nearly a week and a half since you saw Jungkook last. You roll your eyes and ignore the flames in your cheeks (and her laughter), and change the subject to your work projects. She tells you about some of the coding issues and compliance issues she’s been having with her software, and you tell her about the hours you’ve been pouring into your application for your client.

It doesn’t bother you that Jungkook hadn’t asked if you wanted to meet his sister. After all, he’d told you bits and pieces about her and her relationship. And in the last few weeks, your relationship has blossomed so beautifully. There was no reason to rush, you think. You’ll meet her hopefully under better circumstances for her.

Jungkook spends most of the evening with Jooyeon, letting her cry herself to sleep in his bed. His sister hardly ever cries like this, with sobs full of pain and hurt because of another man. But it’s been happening too much lately, too many fights and too much of Joo losing herself. It makes Jungkook see red more often than not. He knows what you’d say- that she needs him more than anything else and to not be so impulsive.

He makes sure Joo eats a warm meal before she falls asleep and he shoots you a text:

Jungkook: baby

You: hi

You: everything ok?

Jungkook: no, joo’s bf is a fkin asshole

Jungkook: she’s sleeping

Jungkook: miss u

You: im sorry baby :( can i call you?

He jumps at the chance, the sound of your voice and sight of your pretty face on video call instantly calming him. Jungkook is sure to wear a beanie to hide his surprise for you (but you don’t question it. After all, you’ve seen him in beanies plenty of times before and it’s dim in the apartment.) He moves to the couch, asking softly for you to tell him about your day. You recount every single detail from memory, shifting under your covers to tell him about how you had nearly stumbled down the stairs in front of your manager’s manager because you had missed a step.

It pulls a soft laugh from him.

“Jungkook,” You say quietly, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Jungkook sighs, “She’s just… Byung-woo and her have had this on and off thing for years now. He won’t commit to her and she just refuses to see him for what he is. Like, when it’s good, it’s really good. But when it’s bad, it’s awful. I wish she’d fucking see it for herself. I don’t know what to do anymore, baby.”

“Oh, baby,” You murmur, wishing you could hug him, “All you can do is be there for her but be honest with her. She’ll come around soon, hopefully. It’s hard to see past a shitty person sometimes, when all you want is for them to love you.”

“I hope so, too,” Jungkook says, “She’d love you, you know?”

“Who wouldn’t?”

“Don’t get a big head,” Jungkook chuckles, “Maybe you can meet her someday. Under better circumstances, I mean.”

“Really? You want me to meet your older sister?” You ask softly, feeling a little flustered, “That’s serious.”

“I told you, baby,” Jungkook soothes, “I’m serious about you.”

“Yeah. Seriously crazy about me,” You giggle to yourself. You know if Jungkook was with you, he’d flick your forehead.

“It’s true,” He murmurs, “Maybe I can see you this weekend?”

“Yeah, you still have to show me what you did over the weekend! Take care of Jooyeon first,” You reply, “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll drop stuff off, just tell me.”

“I will,” Jungkook promises, “Sleep well, I miss you.”

“Sleep well. I miss you.”

***

Jooyeon ends up leaving on Saturday morning after a lecture from Jungkook and with determined resolve in her eyes. You jump at the chance to take him out tonight, knowing how stressed he’s been the last few days.

You: be ready at 6:30 tn, im taking u out. and dress slutty

Jungkook doesn’t know how to interpret your text when he reads it. He considers asking Mina and Mei what this means, but ultimately leaves it alone. Replying to your message with a quick thumbs up, he busies himself with getting ready to see you (and surprising you, finally after a full week of wanting to show you what he had done.)

Once you parallel park your car (which takes far too long than you’d like to admit), you grab the small bouquet of purple roses that you had gotten for Jungkook and text him saying that you’ll be up in a few minutes.

Taehyung had caught you struggling to parallel park, and had told Jungkook with a snicker. Which earned him a punch to the arm.

There wasn’t a particular reason that you had chosen to get purple roses for him, other than the fact that they reminded you of him. You hope he likes them.

Jungkook hears a soft knock at the door, and can already envision you behind it. He hopes you like his surprise, the one he’s been teasing you for a week about. You had given no hints of what you would be wearing- you had only sent him one selfie that didn’t give much of a hint into your outfit. He has no doubt that you’ll look gorgeous, but still.

Maybe Jungkook’s nerves shouldn’t be this intense, but he can’t help it. He swings the front door open, only to be greeted by you swaying on your feet with your hands held behind your back. His heart throbs when you pull your hands apart and present him with a beautiful bouquet of purple roses.

How ironic.

“Hello,” You say with a small smile, suddenly feeling a little shy and gasping when your eyes land on his hair, “Wow. You weren’t kidding…”

His hair is tied back into a ponytail, but it’s unmistakably elegant and so violet. Two neat pieces of his newly dyed hair fall into his face effortlessly, but then your gaze reaches the piercing on his left eyebrow. Your lips remain parted in surprise and without thinking, you reach up to touch his hair. It’s still soft, as it always is.

“Come in, baby,” Jungkook says, taking the roses from you, “You must really like me, huh? Got me flowers and everything?”

“Shut up,” You mutter, cheeks heating up, “Don’t get a big head.”

Jungkook only grins wolfishly at you and winks at you, eyes unashamedly glued to your ass. You roll your eyes, and swat his shoulder as you watch him put the rose in a vase and place it in the center of the dining table.

This isn’t the first time you’ve been in his shared apartment (that he lives with Taehyung and Jimin in) but you somehow feel shy in his presence again, as if it was the first time. The first time you had been here with him had been the first time you had spent the night at his apartment several weeks ago, after a night out with your friends.

You let your gaze wander, curious eyes settling on the subtle matching of the furniture and the cleanliness of the apartment. There’s not a stray speck of dust in sight, but maybe you’re distracting yourself from addressing the pretty purple of his hair. Your mouth is dry, and you’re probably drooling a little. You wonder if Jungkook prepared for this, the same way you did (in that you had washed your car, cleaned every inch of it and gotten a new car freshener).

A faint scent of fresh laundry and lavender sits in the spaces of his home. It calms you and gives you the boost to turn your eyes to him.

“Thanks for the roses, baby,” Jungkook says, giving you a smile and starry eyes. He pulls you into his arms, your back against the counter. “Surprise. Do you like it?”

“Uh,” You mumble, brain deciding to short-circuit with the way he looks at you. His smile turns into a smirk, deciding to further render you speechless by pressing himself closer to you and cradling your neck. He’s careful not to touch your face. He doesn’t want to mess your makeup up terribly, at least not yet.

“I know you like my hair. Your face says it all, baby,” Jungkook continues and ducks his head for a quick kiss, “You’re pretty.” He does quite like this dress, light blue and dotted in small flowers with thin straps. His eyes are instantly drawn to the drawstring at the center of your chest and he quells the urge to pull at it.

Jungkook’s mouth waters when he sees the side split of the dress but you want more from him immediately, but he pulls away to your chagrin. Even with the simple kiss, the burgundy color of your lipstick stains his plump bottom lip.

You shiver. It appears that he tried to take your words via text to heart- to dress slutty. He’s wearing a loose animal print button up, with the top three buttons undone. It gives you a delectable view of his pecs, his collarbones and a hint of the tattoo on his right side. As if you weren’t already weak in the knees for him as it was, he wears a black coat and tight, leather pants.

Jungkook pulls it off, like he pulls everything off and the purple hair blends seamlessly with his look. Tonight, he’d opted for two silver hoops in each ear and a thin silver necklace to match.

Your knees are weak, they’ve been weak since you had seen him in this offensive outfit and his hair, his new piercing that was clearly an attack on your entire existence.

The purple hair. The piercing. He’ll be the death of you tonight, you know it. Your legs are wobbly, panties already probably a little wet just from seeing him and from a few of his kisses. But you can’t help it. Without thinking, you press your lips to his, drawing your tongue into his mouth eagerly. You are so hungry, so eager to devour him and drink up anything that he offers you. Jungkook tugs you closer to him lightly by your waist but-

“Seriously? Right in front of my dinner?” Comes an amused voice from behind Jungkook and you nearly screech at the familiar sound of Jimin’s voice.

“I- I didn’t-You-” You stammer, feeling your face heat up to a degree that it’s definitely never heated up to before. You hide behind Jungkook to fix your surely wrecked lipstick. You’re certain his own lips are probably comically smudged with your lipstick as well. “Sorry Jimin, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know, we’ll leave-”

Jungkook only rolls his eyes at Jimin’s wide smirk and knowing eyes. He hears you scolding Jungkook for not telling him that anyone was home, to which he promptly responds “well, you didn’t ask!”

Despite the very natural and easy flow of conversation between you and Jungkook in your car, you still feel overheated and jumpy, your fingers incessantly tapping on the steering wheel. It’s not Jungkook, it’s you and your own nerves. It’s not the first time you’ve gone out to dinner with him and it’s certainly not the first time you’ve had him in your car. If Jungkook notices, he says nothing.

“Where are we going, baby?” Jungkook asks, looking at you. You don’t meet his eyes, choosing instead to focus on the road despite being at a red light.

“Umm, that place you mentioned the other day. The one we talked about trying together,” You say softly. Jungkook can only wonder why you’re a little quiet, but he thinks he knows. You slip into your head so easily and he doesn’t mind gently tugging you out of your thought cloud and into reality with him.

“Can you help me park,” You mumble sheepishly, “I get nervous parking in such tight spaces.”

“Yeah, pull over here before it’s impossible to,” Jungkook murmurs. You nod and do so, hopping out of the driver’s seat to switch places with him. But before you can get in the passenger’s seat, Jungkook grips your wrist loosely. You look at him curiously, with wide eyes and he drops a kiss to your lips, swallowing your surprise.

“You’re so pretty,” Jungkook murmurs, “So fucking pretty, baby. I love this dress on you.” You preen at his praise, leaning forward for another kiss with a shy smile. He subtly squeezes your left tit before letting his hand travel downward.

“You look really good, Jungkook,” You murmur before he kisses you, “I-I really, really like it. A lot.”

He gently caresses your thigh from under your dress, the heat of his hand shooting straight up your core. Jungkook slips his tongue into your mouth quickly, coaxing your endearing nervousness away. As if you both aren’t pulled over to the side of the street where cars are passing you by (and surely wondering why you both were making out like this in public).

“Are we gonna be those people who have a roadside quickie,” You laugh, gently pushing his shoulder when you pull away.

“Roadside quickie? Get your mind out of the gutter,” Jungkook says but his lips twist into a wicked smirk, “But hey, if you wanna give me road head, I’m not going to complain about it-”

“Ha, you would be so lucky,” You scoff, feeling your nerves beginning to ease out of you, “C’mon, our reservation is soon. And then we can talk about road head.”

Dinner goes perfectly and after a glass of wine you feel those inexplicable nerves wash away. What did you have to be nervous for anyway? It was Jungkook- Jungkook who you’ve known for years. Your friend before any of this. He asks you about work, how your application is going-

“Your client sounds pretty demanding,” Jungkook muses, “You keeping up with it okay?”

“Yeah, but I’m not even an application engineer so I’m just learning as I go. My true roots are data and data science but I get to see all of it. Which is cool. But also time consuming, like the other evening, I had to read up on the compliance regulations. But my favorite thing is creating modeling and programs for this app, it’s really cool because it’s healthcare specific. So I’m learning about that sector as well, it’s mostly python but we’ve been doing testing with different healthcare providers in the area and they’re all responding really well to it-” You’re rambling, you know it, but your passion for your career knows no bounds and Jungkook makes no move to stop you. He only smiles at you, eyes crinkling and nose scrunching, gesturing for you to continue.

It’s funny. Not even a few months ago, you would have cut yourself off from your own rambling. In an attempt to convince yourself that the other person didn’t need to hear about it. Maybe that was Sora’s subconscious influence on you. Today, you don’t think twice about it, glowing and shimmering under the dim, blue lights of the restaurant as you tell Jungkook more about your job.

He makes your heart race and he’s sitting right in front of you. Your chin is in your hands as you listen to the pretty words slipping out of his lips. He’s so dreamy, and you struggle to not let your gaze stray from his eyes and linger on his exposed tattoos and chest. You don’t even know where to look, deciding to settle on the way his newly purple locks fall to his forehead just perfectly.

“What do you wanna eat for dessert?” You murmur, looking at the menu and cautiously allowing your foot to brush against his.

In hindsight, you should’ve seen it coming-

“You,” Jungkook says easily, as if he’s talking about the weather.

“Corny,” You roll your eyes, but nudge his foot again. You end up deciding on sharing a slice of decadent, chocolate mousse cake. Which Jungkook ends up finishing off when you satisfy your sweet tooth after a few big bites.

He leans over without a second thought, thumbing away stray cream from the corner of your mouth. Your tongue darts out to lick the tip of his thumb and he looks at you with wide eyes before grinning roguishly.

“Wanna get outta here, baby?”

“Should I take you home, Jungkook?” You ask, finding the courage somewhere in the remnants of the glass of wine currently evaporating from your system to take his hand in your lap once you’re both settled in your car.

“Do you want to take me home?” Jungkook asks with a quirked eyebrow.

“I have some wine I think you’d like at my place. I just got it,” You say a little breathlessly, “And I have to inspect something, I might need your help.” Jungkook laughs, a little derisively and you pout.

“You don’t have to bribe me with wine, baby. You know I would’ve been down regardless,” Jungkook says, squeezing your hand, “What do you need to inspect? Do you have a leak or something?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a leak alright,” You say under your breath, thinking about the growing wetness in your panties, “My man just showed up here with purple hair and an eyebrow piercing, looking like a damn model after one whole week. I have to inspect him.”

“Oh, is that so? In that case, I would love to be your lab rat. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t seen the inside of your bedroom before-”

“Who said you’d get that far?”

“I already did, baby. Did you forget?” Jungkook’s smirk widens, eyes sparkling with mischief. He gently cups your face, thumb on your chin and hovers just over your lips. You think he’s about to kiss you, so you close your eyes in anticipation of his lips on yours.

But it never comes. Instead, his breath fans over your cheeks and he lets out a low laugh. “I sure didn’t forget, and I know you didn’t either.”

You roll your eyes and swat his hand away, ignoring (but letting out a smile) when he chuckles. You decide to hold his hand for as much of the drive back home you can.

Jungkook’s hands are on your hips even as you’re fumbling with the keys to your front door. He’s a distraction, his warm heat plastered against your back and the simple act of opening your damn door feels like too much of a chore. When Jungkook’s lips glaze over the back of your neck, his fingers roaming your waist, it’s difficult for you to focus.

So Jungkook scoffs and turns the key for you. “Can’t open the door, baby?” Jungkook taunts and you level him with a glare.

“It’s not my fault you can’t keep your hands to yourself in front of my door!”

“You like it,” Jungkook says, shutting the door behind him and hugging you as you try to walk away from him to wash up. You escape his grip with a giggle and lock yourself in your bathroom, while Jungkook waits with a disgruntled pout.

When you come out, you head into the kitchen to pour out two glasses of wine and bring some snacks out. You’re not particularly hungry, though you wouldn’t mind eating and you’re sure Jungkook wouldn’t mind either.

Your train of thought is of course interrupted by the man himself and he wraps his arms around you from behind, pushing you into the counter. One might say that Jungkook is being clingy, but you know this is how he shows his affections. Through physical touch more than anything else. And you quite like it, you like the reassurance of his body close to yours. It’s what you’ve always wanted and never known that you needed.

“Missed you,” He breathes into your hair. Even if he’s been with you for the last few hours… You understand him. It feels like you’re both making up for lost time. For time that you could’ve spent together, rather than apart.

“Me too,” You murmur, “Can you take this to the couch, honey? I’ll bring the glasses and the wine.”

Jungkook hums and kisses your temple, squeezing your ass before heeding your soft demand. You sit next to him, thighs touching, and pour out a glass for both of you to enjoy. You lean against his shoulder, wrapping an arm around his bicep and turn the television on. But neither of you are really paying attention.

“Hey,” Jungkook murmurs, “I had a good time tonight, baby.”

“Don’t I know it,” You say smugly, “It’s not everyday a pretty girl takes you out for din-” He cuts your words off by pulling you into his lap, somehow not spilling even a single drop of wine in the movement. You would’ve killed him if even a hint of a wine stain appeared on your velvet couch.

You press your hand into his shoulder, the hint of his tattoo and the glint of his piercing catching your eye. You swirl your glass of wine with your other hand. “What a precarious position to be in,” You say dryly, even grinding your hips into his playfully. He gives you a look, and stills your movements with one hand on your waist. Jungkook sets his glass on the coffee table behind you and cradles your neck, pulling you down for a sharp kiss. It’s almost desperate and needy, nothing like his kisses from before.

You slip your tongue into his honeyed mouth, tasting seeds of his desperation with your tongue. But then, you remember your wine glass and pull away from his lips with a lewd smack to reach behind you and place it on the coffee table as well.

“So pretty,” Jungkook moans, pushing the straps of your dress to the side and dotting your shoulders in wine-stained kisses, “Pretty girl, my pretty baby-”

You tilt his cheek towards you for a kiss, whining into his mouth at his praise. It shoots down your spine in a delicious hum and his hands roaming the expanse of your back makes you feel warm and powerful.

The way your hips move in time with his, the way you fit into the crevices of his thighs and his chest- he just wants to give you everything. He wants to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Jungkook will give you everything, if you let him.

“And what about you?” You rasp with swollen lips and wild eyes when you finally pull away. You press your fingers into the exposed, inky part of his chest, where his shirt is unbuttoned for your eyes. “You look so fucking good all the time, but-but I told you to dress slutty and you did this for me, huh? You did this for me, bunny?”

Jungkook’s cock jumps in his tight pants and his throat goes dry. Your eyes are devious, filled with mischief and sin and he gives himself to you fully and wholly.

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods eagerly, “Yeah, I wanted to look nice for you, baby.”

“A-and your hair,” You mumble, feeling a little lovesick, “I love it, I love it, I love it-I just wanna- wanna make you feel good. Can I do that, bunny? Make you feel good?”

Jungkook nods with wide, doe eyes, wondering how the tables were turned so quickly.

“Take me to my bedroom,” You demand softly. The glasses of wine and snacks on the tray are left forgotten as Jungkook easily scoops you up in his arms. Even with your lips soft and slow against his neck, he somehow makes it to your bed.

It’s definitely not the first time you’ve had Jungkook in your bed (or that you’ve been in his bed). It’s not the first time you’ve peeled his shirt off meticulously and licked your way down his chest, to unbutton his tight pants. It’s not the first time he’s seen you on your knees on your bed (to alleviate the strain on your knees if you were on the floor).

By now, the shock of your impatience has worn off. Jungkook frequently reminds you to slow down, that you both have nowhere to be except with each other.

It looks like his pants are glued to his legs, and while you can appreciate the visual, you want to appreciate the real thing. You groan in frustration and Jungkook does the work for you, pushing the offending fabric away and breathing a sigh of relief. You crawl closer to him, nails featherlight against his taut thighs.

He’s golden, his body taut and spilling with swirls of color in the divots of his muscles. Your mouth waters.

But Jungkook moves your hands away when you start inching closer, wanting to palm his cock. He joins you on the bed, pushing your back to the bed and hiking the skirt of your dress up to your hips. His hands are tight and warm and welcome on your hips, a flare of desire shooting down your spine and straight to your pussy. You buck your hips up towards him with a pout but he only squeezes.

“What did I tell you,” Jungkook murmurs, swatting your thigh lightly.

“You’ll have to remind me,” You breathe.

“Told you to slow down, baby,” Jungkook says, letting his fingers trail up your thighs and slip under your panties. His hand is warm in contrast to the rings on his fingers. They do little to cool your skin, though. “Impatient girl.”

“You say that like a bad thing-”

“And you talk so fucking much,” Jungkook drawls, hovering over you and dropping his weight on top of you, nudging your cheek to kiss you. You reach upwards to thread your hands through his hair but he’s quick, so much quicker than you. Jungkook pins your wrists with just one hand, and the mere action, the mere display of strength has you sighing and your pussy fluttering.

“Lift your hips,” Jungkook says thickly, and you do so immediately. It’s easy for him to pull your black lace panties off to the side. But before he does so he gives you a small smile of approval, knowing that you wore them specifically for him to see.

“I really do love this dress, baby,” He says, “Makes your tits and your ass look amazing.”

“Take it off, then. And see the goods up close,” You say, wiggling against his grip.

“I will,” Jungkook says lazily, “Don’t you worry your pretty head about it.” Without a single warning, he lifts you up easily into his lap. Your bare pussy brushes against his bare cock deliciously, your hips moving of their own accord. He stills you again, and carefully unzips your dress and pulls it off of you. His fingers on you are soft but firm, leaving your head spinning and hazy.

You haven’t even had his cock yet, and you’re about ready to combust. Jungkook pushes you on the bed, your tits bouncing with the force of your back hitting the mattress and hovers over you. You pull at his hair a little impatiently and he groans, the sound reverberating across the walls only to ring in your head. You want to hear it again, and again and again.

“Jungkook,” You whine, “Please, bunny, do something. Look at me, look at my pussy, come clean me up-”

“So needy,” Jungkook murmurs and ignores you in favor of kissing your tits, rubbing your nipples with his fingers, “‘M needy for you too, baby.”

“You’re so hard, so big,” You babble, “Please, want your cock, baby.”

Impatient. Jungkook kisses your chest, your belly, your hips and makes you cum on his tongue twice (while you tear up and cry a little bit, gripping his purple locks fiercely and holding onto his shoulder) before letting you stroke his cock. You’re about to push him on his back to blow him with determined eyes, but he stops you.

It appears he’s impatient too, and he wants to see you cream his cock before cumming all over your tits (which has become his favorite place to).

“Jungkook,” You breathe sharply, “There, baby, right there-” You cut yourself off with a groan, stilling your hips and pushing his face into your chest. Jungkook’s groans are muffled against your tits, but you feel the wetness of his lips and the warmth of his tongue over your nipples.

“Shit,” You mumble, “Feels so good-”

“So pretty, baby,” Jungkook coos, pulling away from your tits to look up at you with lust in his eyes, “I’m yours, all yours-”

You groan, bouncing on his cock even harder as a flare of possessiveness flashes across your belly. “Move back,” You say softly, “Lay down. I’m gonna ride you so good, baby.”

Jungkook barely has a chance to catch his breath before your nails are on his chest, trying to hold yourself steady as you push yourself down onto his cock, pulling a deep moan of your name from his lips. His hands are tight on your hips, watching with wide eyes- he doesn’t know where to look, what to do.

He squeezes when one of your hands drifts over his and rests on top of his hand.

“I’m yours, I’m yours,” Jungkook mumbles, “Whatever you want baby, I’m yours-”

“You talk so much,” You say hoarsely, with a wicked smile, “It’s cute.” Your free hand floats upward, resting loosely at the base of his neck. His chain is cold against his heated skin but all he can focus on is the glide of your hand over his neck.

His cock twitches inside you and your smile widens. “Is this okay?” You whisper, “This okay, bunny?”

“Harder,” Jungkook groans, “Fuck, harder, baby.”

“Like this?” You ask innocently, closing your hand around the sensitive spots of his neck. His pretty eyes flutter as he nods, a quiet moan slipping out into the air.

“You’re pretty like this,” You say softly, “Shit, you’re pretty like this…”

He lets out a choked laugh at that. You lean forward, pressing your lips to his hastily. Jungkook thrusts upward, hips meeting your ass but your hand doesn’t leave his neck. Not just yet. You breathe into his mouth, allowing him to swallow your soft whimpers.

You wet your lips with a loud smack and cradle his cheek gently. Jungkook is mesmerized by the heat in your eyes, smoldering and burning through his skin. You let your fingers glide over your clit, gathering wetness and before Jungkook can ask what you're doing-

“Open,” You mumble hoarsely, “Open, bunny.”

Pushing a finger past his chapped lips, you gasp at the sight of him below you with your fingers in his mouth.

You could cum just from watching him. His tongue swirls over your finger before sucking lightly with a pretty flush covering his cheeks. Your eyes widen, another gasp brushing over his cheeks.

“Fuck,” You mumble dreamily, “You’re so good, bunny.”

Your body is burning, jaw slack and the feeling of Jungkook’s bare cock inside of you almost too much to handle. It was wildly irresponsible- he wasn’t wearing a condom and you weren’t on birth control, and it was a conversation for later. But you can’t think, not when it feels this good, not when you’ve had a taste of his cock in this way. Besides, he always pulls out just in time. But still, you both should know better.

“Oh, Jungkook,” You whine, “‘m close, I’m so fucking close, make me cum, bunny-”

“Baby,” Jungkook rasps, “My pretty baby looks so good on my cock like this. My smart, kind, b-beautiful girl, my angel-”

Tears prick your eyes- it’s easy for you to become overwhelmed like this. You tug your hands away and thread your fingers through his, dipping your head for a kiss.

“You like that, angel? You like being mine?” Jungkook murmurs, slowing your hips so he can take over. But he knows you’re close.

“Only yours,” You mumble. Jungkook pulls you into his chest swiftly and flips you so that you’re on your back. He places your legs over his shoulders and brackets your head with his forearms, his necklace just above your nose and his hair tickling your face. But you're mesmerized by the determination and adoration in his eyes.

“Jungkook,” You murmur brokenly, “O-oh, y-yeah, baby, there, mmmf-” You squeeze his biceps with a gasp, watching his face closely. Pushing his hair behind his ears, you cradle his cheek and pull him down for a sweet, long kiss.

His fingers dance across your thighs and rub your clit in slow circles and murmuring soft words of praise in your ear. You’re vaguely aware that your body erupts in a tidal wave of flames, warming you from inside out. You don’t hear anything except for your cries of his name, you don’t see anything but him through your blurry eyes.

“Baby,” Jungkook says through clenched teeth, “O-open your mouth, baby. Fuck, baby, this pussy- I’m gonna cum, baby, fuck-”

You open your mouth with hooded eyes and your tongue lolling out and Jungkook pulls out of you abruptly with a series of curses. He’s not fast enough to get all of his cum in your mouth, some of it landing on your cheek. You swallow his cum with a dopey smile and open your arms for him to bury his face in your tits.

“Fuck, baby,” Jungkook says breathlessly, rolling off of you and pulling you into his side, “This pussy’s gonna be the death of me. Where’d you learn to ride dick like that, huh?”

“I’ll never tell,” You mumble, “Gimme a kiss.”

And so he does, tasting himself on your lips. He kisses you nice and slow, just how you both like after a night like this. Eventually he cleans you up and you do the same for him.

Under the covers with only the shared warmth between your sheets to keep you company, you rest your head on Jungkook’s bicep and look up at him. Your fingers continue tracing patterns on his chest, tracing the swirls and curves of ink as they appear.

Jungkook dips his head to nudge your nose and you softly laugh as his hair falls into your face. “What are you thinking about, baby?” He murmurs, lazily draping an arm over you. By now, you’ve realized that Jungkook is possibly the most vulnerable with you in moments like this. When you’re both bare and basking in a post-sex haze.

That’s not to say that he’s not vulnerable at other times. But it’s just different like this.

You take his hand and thread your fingers through his. His fingers are bare, as you had taken his rings off and they’re currently sitting in your jewelry dish on your dresser.

“We just,” You murmur, “We spent so long being apart. When we should’ve been together. All because I…”

“Stop,” Jungkook says firmly but gently, “Don’t do that. You’re where you’re supposed to be. We’re where we’re supposed to be.”

“But we wasted so much time not being together because of me,” You mumble forlornly, feeling your throat getting a little dry, “Because I listened to Sora and didn’t-”

“Oh, baby,” Jungkook says, pulling you in for a hug and a forehead kiss, “That’s not true at all. We’re together now, and we both had some growing to do. That’s what matters.”

“Okay,” You reply in a strained voice. You don’t quite sound like you believe him, and Jungkook makes a mental note of that. “Do you feel like… we have lost time to make up for?”

“Do you feel like that?” Jungkook counters, making your heart skip a beat, “Because I don’t. I know it’s hard, baby, but you can’t beat yourself up for that. It’s in the past, baby. Forgive yourself. There’s nothing to race against, it’s just me and you.”

“I’ll try,” You say a little meekly. Jungkook nods and pulls you in for a soft kiss, one that has your toes curling and your belly flipping. He shifts so that you’re tucked into his side, surrounded by him and his hands on your skin. He kisses you until your previous thoughts don’t feel so loud in your head, he whispers to you and pulls sweet laughs from your throat until you can detach from the strange cloud that had suddenly appeared.

He’s your safe place.

*********

MoM TAGS: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe @yiyi4657 @mygscafe @beeeetsandskzreads @maichiverse @hordanhearsawhooo @anonymous2505 @dreadity @mysugarkoo @ULTRAANONYMOUSEY @moonchild1 @fan-ati--c

TAGS: @kookdbean @codeinebelle

#Jungkook x reader #Jungkook smut #Jeon jungkook x reader #Jeon jungkook smut #Jungkook x you #Jeon jungkook x you #Jungkook fluff

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exxay · 3 years

Text

Spoiler Alert, Ptilopsis' voice in her head is a lot more deadlier than we thought

With the release of the Operator Modules, HG has taken a very interesting decision into how they want to incorporate them.

And of course, just like OD, they decided to fucking kill it.

Currently, we only have a translation of Ptilopsis' module, and holy hell there's a lot to dig into, so let's start sentence by sentence:

"If Originium really has the power to store information, then we can decrypt and translate, the whole Columbian scientific technique will soar again!"

"I reached a bottleneck. The current electronic calculation facilities are insufficient to deal with the complex amount of signals from Originium. I need a more suitable calculation device."

So basically, it all started with a researcher's revelation in that-an originium shard can act as a goddamn rtx3090+corsair memory module on steroids. And with it, send Columbia into a technological revolution. Except, they're trying to fit into a 16-bit cpu. So they needed a better one.

"Using humans to calculate?! This is a daring thought, I... need to consider the feasibility."

Love how instead of commenting on it's ethicality, the first thing they think of is "Can it work?", Just a small reminder of how inhumane Rhine Labs are.

"The creation of a human decryption system model has been completed. Now, we need an experimental subject with clear thought and quick reflexes. Best to have good understanding of calculators and data."

So the PC is built, now they just need a case for it, and it had to be a really good one to, they don't wanna waste it.

"The candidate has been selected. Experiment subject codename: Ptilopsis."

And lo and behold, why not choose the living computer herself?

"There is nobody else more suitable than her in the whole Rhine. Although the head suggested to conceal the experimental risks, but I still let her know about the various possibilities of the experiment. This is my duty as a citizen of Columbia, and as a person."

Showing just how amazing Ptilopsis, alongside another reminder of Rhine Labs' way of doing things. Don't let the little text about the person asking for their consent, if MuMu has shown us anything, for all we know Ptilopsis could have been "Convinced"/ But that's probably just an assumption, she could have very well thought that it was for the best.

"She agreed. She agreed! I just know, I just know she would agree! I didn't choose the wrong person!"

Then again, who really knows?

"The preliminary main points and operation procedure has been taught. She learns quickly. Tomorrow, the experiment will begin. I believe that we can embrace Columbia's future with open arms!"

"The experiment was very successful. Various data are within the controlled boundaries. As long as this pace is followed, a little, a little... No, no no no, it shouldn't be! Quick, quickly shut it down--"

Honestly, were we expecting anything less? Experiment was going amazingly right, until everything went horribly wrong.

"Emergency measures have been activated in time, but she still... received injury. The brain..."

And so comes into play, "The voice", more details further in.

"And Oripathy..."

No shit, infused originium shards? Didn't they learn from Ifrit? Or maybe, Ptilopsis came BEFORE Ifrit? Hmm, so many revelations.

"(Intermittent crying sounds)"

No idea whose these are, but most likely? It could be Ptilopsis herself, or maybe the researcher, they seemed to have more morals than we thought.

"The higher-up has already requested for resuscitation. But, but like this..."

Wait? Resuscitation? Holy shit did they send her into Clinical Death? Holy fuck. And what's with the hesitation? Was she gonna be even deader?

"It's my fault, it's all my fault..."

Yup, more morals than usual.

"According to the message that she received before, I made a chip that can be inserted into the human body. This thing should be able to replace some of the functions of her brain."

Ok wow, so, Ptilopsis, already knowing shit was gonna fuck up somehow (Thanks' Milo), asked to make a backup chip than be inserted to the human body. So that she'll still pull through, pretty hardcore.

Wait? Like the promotion chips? Does that mean the promotion chips are inserted into the operators we use? Or are they different chips?

"Some department heads laud this idea a lot, hmm, I know what they are thinking."

Oh, so if I'm interpreting this right, some -not all- of the heads in Rhine were against this, but obviously, not because of anything ethical mind you.

"The implantation worked. She had no reaction."

"She woke up! But some problems occurred... in her language abilities."

"Error Hase"

"She tells me, there is another voice in her mind. A voice that does not belong in the boundary of known language. This thing will put a heavy burden on her psyche."

"The pain can only be reduced by using a robotic language system."

Ahhh, the voice, just like how Ifrit has a "voice" in her head constantly arguing and vying control. But we all know that it isn't just a voice, it's a literal fucking ENTITY, so does that mean Ptilopsis also has her own entity she constantly holds back? And just like what she tells us in her third trust line.

According to Ptilopsis "It is, in fact, quite burdensome to speak in this manner. But this is a necessary measure to prevent the system nexus from being devoured by that other voice. Doctor, if I become rampant, please guide me back onto the right path."

Love how it shed's more light onto such a mysterious habit that i wanted to know of.

"She is the first living person in Columbia with an implanted chip. This is an achievement."

"But to her, the land is no longer the same."

Sad for Ptilopsis, she can't look at anything the same anymore, though overall this sheds some more light on her relationship with Silence. More at the end.

Wait a minute-

"I also implanted a chip in my brain. Now the wound still hurts a little. But I want to know, what change did the information from Originium bring to her."

Oh, oh no.

"That voice, what is it?"

OH NO

"I will repeat the experiment." --Rhine Lab, Unknown project leader, recorded.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Unknown Researcher whyyyyy, you were so close, you were so close to greatness!!!!

Anyways, "repeat" would imply that Ptilopsis is actually the original subject, meaning she was the first to be implanted with artificial originium shards, and sub sequentially, artificially infected.

This could also mean that Silence learns about Ifrit's existence through Ptilopsis, and then leading to the "Flame Demon Incident".

Ptilopsis considers Silence her closest friend and Savior, in fact, even being more than willing to participate in a "Secret Project" of hers, which she SHOULD be reporting to the higher ups instead. It could still be her being a bit rebellious instead of being close friends, but as she said.

"I met Dr. Silence at Rhine Lab. I provided big data analysis and risk evaluation for her on a secret project."

Hmm, more to think about.

Speaking of, whenever we think of the "Flame Demon Incident" we think of Saria, Silence and Ifrit, but what about Ptilopsis? Silence would have probably learned about it on her own since she was helping oversee the project, but how would she learn of the, ehem, "Less well known aspects." Though that's just speculation on my part

So much to think about, what about you? What do you think about it?

Personally? Call McDonalds cuz I'm McFUCKING LOVE IT

#arknights #Ptilopsis #so interesting #and sad #goddamn i love arknights #i diagnose you with arknights #Lore Post

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gimme-mor · 3 years

Text

BETWEEN THE LINES: NIGHT COURT ELAIN & SPRING COURT FEYRE

*DISCLAIMER*

This is a really long post and based on my interpretation of the text.

This is strictly an analysis of Elain as a character because, in my opinion, there isn’t a lot of talk about Elain outside of ships and conversations about her character arc typically revolve around to whom she is paired, especially if that person is Azriel. She is her own character and gets the short end of the stick in the fandom because everyone is more concerned about who she’s shipped with rather than her as a character.

Also, anyone who is rude/condescending will automatically be blocked.

In ACOSF, SJM went out of her way on two occasions to highlight Elain not looking good in black. While it may be minor or insignificant to some, I think those instances were meant to show something about Elain specifically and what she may be going through in the Night Court. Elain has been a passive character for the most part, contributing to things in her own way earlier in the series. But after she was taken by the Cauldron, her safety has become everyone’s main concern and the other characters have slowly excluded her from courtly matters. In ACOWAR, this was understandable because she was traumatized and not fully present. However, as of ACOSF, Elain was still excluded from courtly matters with the other characters heavily relying upon Nesta, who made her reservations known, because they were on a time constraint and couldn’t afford to wait for Elain to reacquaint herself with her powers.

The fact that the other characters use the kidnapping situation to excuse their current actions toward Elain is eerily similar to the way Tamlin and Lucien used the Under the Mountain events to excuse Tamlin’s actions toward Feyre in ACOMAF. And the characters use Elain and Feyre’s safety to justify why neither of them should be involved. In my opinion, Elain in the Night Court resembles Feyre in the Spring Court because not only do they experience similar things, but both of them are (or were in Feyre’s case) in places that stunt their growth. Even though Night Court Elain isn’t exposed to all of the things that Spring Court Feyre was exposed to, the similarities in their experiences (and how those similarities might potentially impact Elain similarly to the way they impacted Feyre) shouldn’t be overlooked.

Being monitored

Feyre

I was too watched－too monitored and judged. Why should the bride of the High Lord learn to fight if peace had returned? That had been Ianthe’s reasoning when I’d made the mistake of mentioning it at dinner. Tamlin, to his credit, had seen both sides: I’d learn to protect myself...but the rumors would spread. (ACOMAF)

“Tamlin－Tamlin, I can’t...I can’t live my life with guards around me day and night. I can’t live with that...suffocation. Just let me help you－let me work with you.” (. . .) “I’m drowning,” I managed to say. “I am drowning. And the more you do this, the more guards...You might as well be shoving my head under the water.” (ACOMAF)

Elain

Nesta said, “The Trove. And what happened the last time I scried.” Feyre said, “We won’t allow any harm to come to Elain. Rhys warded her this morning, and we have eyes on her at all times.” “Eyes can be blinded,” Nesta said. “Not the ones under my command,” Azriel said with soft menace. Nesta met his stare, knowing he was the only one aside from Feyre who could truly understand her hesitation. He’d gone with Feyre into the heart of Hybern’s camp to save Elain－he knew the risk. “We won’t make the same mistake twice.” She believed him. “All right.” (ACOSF)

Trying to fit in

Feyre

I hated the bright dresses that had become my daily uniform, but didn’t have the heart to tell Tamlin－not when he’d bought so many, not when he looked so happy to see me wear them. Not when his words weren’t far from the truth. The day I put on my pants and tunics, the day I strapped weapons to myself like fine jewelry, it would send a message far and clear across the lands. So I wore the gowns, and let Alis arrange my hair－if only so it would buy these people a measure of peace and comfort. (ACOMAF)

I sometimes debated asking her to pray for me as well. To pray that I’d one day learn to love the dresses, and the parties, and my role as a blushing, pretty bride. (ACOMAF)

Elain

And he knew the cruelty of the Hewn City troubled her. But she hadn’t hesitated to come. When Feyre had offered to let her remain home, Elain had squared her shoulders and declared that she was a part of this court－and would do whatever she needed. (ACOSF)

So Elain had let her golden-brown hair down tonight, and pinned it back with twin combs of pearl. He’d never once in the two years he’d known her found Elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court...It sucked the life from her. (ACOSF)

Pretending everything’s all right

Feyre

“Fine,” I breathed. I made myself look him in the eye, made myself smile. (ACOMAF)

Elain

“And you?” I made myself say. “Are you－all right?” Elain looked over a shoulder at me as we entered the foyer, then turned left－to the dining room. In the sitting room across the way, all conversation halted at the smell of food. “Why wouldn’t I be all right?” she asked, a smile lighting up her face. I’d seen those smiles before. On my own damn face. (ACOFAS)

Clothes not looking right on them

Feyre

I really, truly hated my wedding gown. It was a monstrosity of tulle and chiffon and gossamer, so unlike the loose gowns I usually wore: the bodice fitted, the neckline curved to plump my breasts, and the skirts...The skirts were a sparkling tent, practically floating in the balmy spring air (. . .) I might have dealt with it all if it weren’t for the puffy capped sleeves, so big I could almost see them glinting from the periphery of my vision. My hair had been curled, half up, half down, entwined with pearls and jewels and the Cauldron knew what, and it had taken all my self-control to keep from cringing at the mirror before descending the sweeping stairs into the main hall. (ACOMAF)

I again surveyed the room, my wedding gown hissing on the warm marble floors. I peered down at myself. You look ridiculous. (ACOMAF)

Elain

Elain in black was ridiculous. Yes, she was beautiful, but the color of her long-sleeved, modest gown leeched the brightness from her face. It wore her, rather than the other way around. (ACOSF)

Looking good in clothes that suit them and that fact being pointed out

Feyre

My high-waisted peach pants were loose and billowing, gathered at the ankles with velvet cuffs of bright gold. The long sleeves of the matching top were made of gossamer, also gathered at the wrists, and the top itself hung just to my navel, revealing a sliver of skin as I walked. Comfortable, easy to move in－to run. Feminine. Exotic. (ACOMAF)

But those claws now dug in－and my entire body, my heart, my lungs, my blood yielded to his grip, utterly at his command as he said, The fashion of the Night Court suits you. (ACOMAF)

Elain

Gone was the ill-suited black dress from the ball, replaced by a gown of amethyst velvet, her hair half-up and curling down to her waist. She glowed with good health. (ACOSF)

People not wanting them to be involved in things

Feyre

“I want to go.” “No.” I crossed my arms, tucking my tattooed hand under my right bicep, and spread my feet slightly further apart on the dirt floor of the stables. “It’s been three months. Nothing’s happened, and the village isn’t even five miles－” “No.” (ACOMAF)

“I could use my powers against Hybern.” “That’s out of the question,” Tamlin said, “especially as there will be no war against Hybern.” “Rhys says war is inevitable, and we’ll be hit hard.” Lucien said drily, “And Rhys knows everything?” “No－but...He was concerned. He thinks I can make a difference in any upcoming conflict.” Tamlin flexed his fingers－keeping those claws contained. “You have no training in battle or weaponry. And even if I started training you today, it’d be years before you could hold your own on an immortal battlefield.” He took a tight breath. “So despite what he thinks you might be able to do, Feyre, I’m not going to have you anywhere near a battlefield. Especially if it means revealing whatever powers you have to our enemies. You’d be fighting Hybern at your front, and have foes with friendly faces at your back.” “I don’t care－” “I care,” Tamlin snarled. Lucien whooshed out a breath. “I care if you die, if you’re hurt, if you will be in danger every moment for the rest of our lives. So there will be no training, and we’re going to keep this between us.” (ACOMAF)

Elain

“Nesta’s spine straightened. No one spoke, but their attention lingered on her like a film on her skin. ‘You will not go looking for it.’” (ACOSF)

“Then go off on adventures,” Nesta said. “Go drink and fuck strangers. But stay away from the Cauldron.” (. . .) “Keep out of this,” she hissed at her youngest sister. “I have no doubt you put these thoughts in her head, probably encouraging her to throw herself into harm’s way－” (ACOSF)

Amren said, “We do not have the time to wait for Nesta to decide. I say we approach Elain tomorrow. Better to have both of them working on it.” Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.” “But Nesta should?” Cassian growled. Everyone stared at him. He swallowed, offering an apologetic glance to Az, who shrugged it off. Amren drained her wine and said to Cassian, “Nesta has a week. One more week to find the Trove with her own methods. Then we seek out other routes.” She threw a nod toward Azriel. “Including Elain, who is more than capable of defending herself against the darkness of the Trove, if she chooses to. Don’t underestimate her.” (ACOSF)

“I think Eris is our ally, and will expect to dance with a lady of this court at the ball no matter what. I won’t let Feyre within five feet of him, Mor might kill him, and Amren is more likely to scare him off than win him over, so you and Elain are the only options.” “Elain doesn’t go near him,” Feyre said. (ACOSF)

Their safety being brought up when they want to be involved

Feyre

“Please. The recovery efforts are so slow. I could hunt for the villagers, get them food－” “It’s not safe,” Tamlin said, again nudging his stallion into a walk. The horse’s coat shone like a dark mirror, even in the shade of the stables. “Especially not for you.” He’d said that every time we had this argument; every time I begged him to let me go to the nearby village of High Fae to help rebuild what Amarantha had burned years ago (. . .) “People want to come back, they want a place to live－” “Those same people see you as a blessing－a marker of stability. If something happened to you…” (. . .)Tamlin said softly, “I can’t do what I need to if I’m worrying about whether you’re safe.” (ACOMAF)

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he murmured. “It’s fine,” I breathed. “I understand.” Not a lie, but not quite the truth. His fingers grazed lower, circling my belly button. “You are－you’re everything to me,” he said thickly. “I need...I need you to be all right. To know they can’t get to you－can’t hurt you anymore.” (ACOMAF)

“Tamlin got what I didn’t,” Lucien said softly, his breathing ragged. “We all heard your neck break. But you got to come back. And I doubt that he will ever forget that sound, either. And he will do everything in his power to protect you from that danger again, even if it means keeping secrets, even if it means sticking to rules you don’t like. In this, he will not bend. So don’t ask him to－not yet.” (ACOMAF)

“Did he let you take me today,” I said hoarsely, “so that I’d stop asking to help rebuild?” “No. I decided to take you myself. For that exact reason. They don’t want or need your help. Your presence is a distraction and a reminder of what they went through.” (. . .) “I know you wanted to help,” Lucien offered. “I’m sorry.” So was I. (ACOMAF)

Elain

“The last time we involved ourselves with the Cauldron, it abducted you,” Nesta countered, fighting her shaking. (ACOSF)

“Like calls to like,” Amren countered. “You were Made by the Cauldron. You may track other objects Made by it as well, as Briallyn can. And because you are Made by it, you are immune to the influence and power of the Trove. You might use them, yes, but they cannot be used upon you.” A glance to Elain. “Either of you.” Nesta swallowed. “I can’t.” But to let Elain involve herself, jeopardize her safety－ (ACOSF)

Nesta’s pulse pounded throughout her body. “Do you not remember the war? What we encountered? Do you not remember the Cauldron kidnapping you, bringing you into the heart of Hybern’s camp?” “I do,” Elain said coldly. (ACOSF)

If it was between her and Elain, there was no choice at all. She would always go first if it meant keeping Elain from harm. Even if she’d just hurt her sister more than she could stomach. (ACOSF)

Pushing back against what others want

Feyre

He hissed, “You have no idea how hard it is for him to even let you off the estate grounds. He’s under more pressure than you realize.” “I know exactly how much pressure he endures. And I didn’t realize I’d become a prisoner.” “You’re not－” He clenched his jaw. “That’s not how it is and you know it.” “He didn’t have any trouble letting me hunt and wander on my own when I was a mere human. When the borders were far less safe.” “He didn’t care for you the way he does now. And after what happened Under the Mountain…” The words clanged in my head, along my too-tense muscles. “He’s terrified. Terrified of seeing you in his enemies’ hands. And they know it, too－they know all they have to do to own him would be to get ahold of you.” “You think I don’t know that? But does he honestly expect me to spend the rest of my life in that manor, overseeing servants and wearing pretty clothes?” (ACOMAF)

Elain

Cassian shifted in his seat. “So we track down the Dread Trove－how?” Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, “Using me.” Nesta’s head went silent as Elain’s words finished sounding in the room. Feyre had twisted in her seat, face white with alarm. Nesta shot to her feet. “No.” Elain remained in the doorway, her face pale but her expression harder than Nesta had ever seen it. “You do not decide what I can and cannot do, Nesta.” (ACOSF)

“It nearly killed me. It trapped me like a bird in a cage.” Elain said, “Then I will find it. I might require some time to...reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” “Absolutely not,” Nesta spat, fingers curling at her sides. “Absolutely not.” “Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.” (ACOSF)

Being used as pawns against others

Feyre

“We need you to tell us everything,” Tamlin said. “The layout of the Night Court, who you saw, what weapons and powers they bore, what Rhys did, who he spoke to, any and every detail you can recall.” “I didn’t realize I was a spy.” Lucien shifted in his seat, but Tamlin said, “As much as I hate your bargain, you’ve been granted access into the Night Court. Outsiders rarely get to go in－and if they do, they rarely come out in one piece. And if they can function, their memories are usually...scrambled. Whatever Rhysand is hiding in there, he doesn’t want us knowing about it.” (ACOMAF)

Elain

Rhys angled his head at the not-quite question. “I trust in the fact that we currently have possession of the one thing he wants above all else. And as long as that remains, he’ll try to stay on our good side. But if that changes...His talent was wasted in the Spring Court. There was a reason he had that fox mask, you know.” His mouth tugged to the side. “If he got Elain away, back to Spring or wherever...do you believe, deep down, that he wouldn’t sell what he knows? Either for gain, or to ensure she stays safe?” “You let him hear everything tonight, though.” (. . .) I considered his question: Did I trust Lucien? “I don’t know, either,” I admitted, and sighed. “I don’t like that Elain is a pawn in this.” “I know. It’s never easy.” (ACOWAR)

Cassian glowered at Amren. “It’s not right to wield Elain as a threat to manipulate Nesta into scrying.” “There are harsher ways to convince Nesta, boy.” (ACOSF)

Although Elain and Feyre are surrounded by two different groups of people with varying levels of care for their wellbeing, they’re treated similarly which is hard to overlook. In Elain’s situation, Nesta, Azriel, and Feyre take on the “Tamlin role” (either undermining Elain’s attempts to contribute to things or preventing Elain from helping altogether) while everyone else takes on the “Lucien role” (validating the concerns of others while also enabling their behaviors, which doesn’t support Elain’s desire to be involved).

#elain archeron #feyre archeron #gimme meta #gimme queues

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fictionadventurer · 2 years

Note

⭐️

I'm going to tell you about "More Than All the Gems On Earth", my "Diamonds and Toads" retelling, because I've long wanted to make a post discussing my ideas about the fairy tale that spurred the creation of this story.

I've long been disappointed that all the retellings I've seen of this story assume that the evil sister got the better end of the deal and/or the nice sister was doomed to marry a man who only loved her for her jewels. We don't have to assume the worst--maybe the fairy knew what she was doing and that things would turn out well. The whole point of the story is that virtue deserves reward, and I don't appreciate that message being undermined by cynicism.

Then I reread this version of the fairy tale, and several things stuck out to me.

The heroine is trapped with an abusive parent. It's not even a stepmother situation. It's one of those cases where a mother horrifically abuses one child while favoring the other. That's got to give the girl some serious psychological baggage.

Their mother is an idiot. Her daughter literally can create diamonds with her speech, but that's not enough for her. The diamonds have to come from her favorite daughter. And when their quest backfires, they blame the younger daughter. They then try to beat her while she can make diamonds with her voice. She could have made all of them rich! But they hate her so much that they drive her away even though she's worth a fortune.

The fairy has not just given the younger daughter pretty things because she's so nice and nice people deserve pretty rewards. She has given her the means to be independently wealthy. She has given this powerless, abused child a way to escape and create her own life.

The love story is phrased like this: "The king's son fell in love with her, and considering that such a gift as had been bestowed upon her was worth more than any dowry that he might receive from someone else, he took her to his father's royal palace, where he married her." To me, the fact that the gift is a separate consideration to the fact that he fell in love suggests that the prince loved the younger daughter for herself. The jewels merely make it possible for a prince to marry a commoner in a world where he'd usually be required to marry nobility. It is totally possible to read this as a non-cynical love story!

With these new insights giving me inspiration, I had a basic outline sorted out in a couple of days, and a story written after a day spent writing it.

I started with "My mother beats me black and blue while I cast diamonds at her feet," because that's the moment of irony that drew me to the story. A literal representation of how little they value her worth.

The second scene was simple--just show their meeting in the woods from the fairy tale. I wanted the prince to be a decent guy, helping out a lonely girl in the woods.

I did mention that she had been living independently for a while before meeting the prince, proving that she doesn't have to marry him if she doesn't want to.

I also wanted to show her building a life of her own. She had the wealth to live like an heiress, so I wanted her to be mistress of her own house--own her own land, prove that she's capable of having her own life away from her mother or a husband.

But I wanted her to meet the prince as early as possible, so at first it follows the fairy tale--he meets her, takes her home, falls in love, and proposes. Completely earnest on his part, but I couldn't have her accept yet. She needed to run off so she could buy that house and live that independently wealthy life.

So I lean on the fact that she comes from an abusive household. She can't believe that anyone would really love her. Hadn't her mother shown that she was worthless with or without diamonds? And when he makes the comment from the fairy tale about the dowry, of course she'd interpret it the cynical way--he only loves her for her jewels. She gets to be in the role of all those cynical retellers--she can't believe in a happy ending for herself.

I had come up with the image of Agnes walking beneath the apple trees and creating matching blossoms before I'd straightened out the plot, and I'm very happy that scene wound up where it did. It shows the beauty and life that she's able to create on her own, even if it is a lonely life. When I think of this story, those apple blossoms are the first image that comes to mind.

I stalled out for a couple of hours as I figured out how Agnes and the prince would reconcile. How could he make her believe that he had no interest in the jewels? I was so happy when I hit upon the idea of a puppy as a gift. The fairy tale establishes that the prince hunts--the hunting dogs are a natural extrapolation. A gift of a puppy is personal, generous, and adorable, and suggests that the prince values her well-being as a person, rather than just a love interest. He wants her to have companionship, even if it isn't him. And on a character level, giving Agnes a companion who can't love her for the jewels can open her up to the idea that she is personally worthy of love.

The letters updating him about the dog's health are a natural way for them to connect again, and leaves the power in Agnes' hands. She only needs to get as personal as she wants to--she could keep it distant and polite, or she could warm up to him.

I purposely set scenes in all four seasons. Provides obvious setting imagery, and allows me to show the passage of time.

I wanted to have Agnes plant the roses, because I wanted to show that the jewels aren't the only worthwhile part of the gift. Agnes can create wealth, but she can also create life.

I've always liked romances that happen via letters, so I was glad I got to include that here. Simon's letter was inspired by Char's letter from Ella Enchanted, though of course it's nowhere near the same level.

And of course Agnes had to refuse. It's too easy to have it all resolved by a puppy and a letter--this girl's got years of psychological baggage to overcome.

So I hit upon the idea of the old woman. Showing Agnes' continued generosity and good nature. Tying back to the encounter that gave her the gift. And giving Agnes a wise outside voice that she can't doubt in a way that she doubts her own feelings and worth. I'd planned to only subtly hint at the woman's fairy nature (and leave it ambiguous), but when it came to that final moment, having the woman create a ring out of Agnes' own ruby felt like such a natural way to tie together this proposal to the last proposal, and I couldn't resist it.

It's so important to me that it's Agnes who reaches out at last and makes the decision to marry Simon. He's not just snatching up a bride who's worth a fortune--she's choosing him.

Can I just talk about how nice it was to have a supernatural element that I could use to show the main character's emotional state? To some extent, the types of flowers and jewels are influenced by her surroundings--pearls by water, apple blossoms in an orchard. But they also provided so many opportunities to give imagery to abstract concepts. Simon's name becomes a diamond. When she's upset, the flowers are dead and the jewels are dull. Stuff like that makes it easy to cheat--I don't have to bother with realistic body language. But the thing I like best about it is that it enabled the moment where the proposal becomes the wedding bouquet.

The story was always going to end with the wedding. The strings of pearls are inspired by the wedding traditions that involve draping a huge rosary over the bride and groom.

That final line came to me pretty early on, and I'm so glad I was able to use it.

I worry that the ending's a bit of a weakness, because it doesn't quite refute the position that I was arguing against. We don't see the marriage that results. Simon got her to the altar--what if it turns out he did only love her jewels? Even if her husband doesn't take advantage of her, what if other people do? How does she hide this from the court? What if someone finds out? I sometimes feel like there should have been at least another scene or two establishing some of these details so we know there's a happy ending. But at the same time, I really wanted it to end with the jewels of her wedding vows, and ending it that way does kind of feed into that theme of trust. You can be cynical, but we've just seen Agnes go through an entire story teaching her to overcome that doubt. The readers have to trust the same way Agnes does, and the story is meant to suggest that trust won't be abused.

The title was the last thing that came to me. Since the story was meant to fit into the original fairy tale, I wanted the title to be a direct quotation from it. I scanned through the fairy tale, and was overjoyed to see that the last line of the moral was the perfect title for the story--the whole thing is meant to prove that the prince can love her "more than all the gems on earth".

#if you read all of that thank you very much #i'm sorry i went on so long #but that entire story-writing process was just one long session of meta-thoughts #so i had a lot to talk about #saying so much is extremely self-indulgent and leaves nothing to the imagination of the reader #but also who else am i going to talk to about it?#diamonds and toads #fairy tales #adventures in writing #more than all the gems on earth

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hercleverboy · 3 years

Text

the beauty of falling in love

spencer reid x reader

summary ↠ spencer is determined to show the reader just how beautiful love can be.

category ↠ angst/fluff

warnings/includes ↠ mentions of sex, swearing.

word count ↠ 4.5k

“Hug me like the night holds the moon.” — Alexandra Vasiliu

Falling in love with her was never a choice.

It started slowly, building up over the first few months since she’d joined the team. He often lost his train of thought when he was around her, stumbling over his words and getting flustered easily when she paid him a single ounce of attention.

And then one day, it hit him. All at once.

He was in love with her.

At first, he was filled with an unimaginable guilt.

He’d only lost Maeve just two years prior, and it felt like he was betraying her, to find himself in love with another woman.

But when he looked at her, it was like nothing he’d ever felt before. Not even with Maeve. Maeve was his first love, and he was hoping that Y/N would be his last.

Spencer knew he was more confident now than he had been a few years back. No longer was he an awkward boy who couldn’t gather up the nerve to ask a girl out. Despite all the hurt that had come from losing his first love, it’d definitely taught him a thing or two. He longed to feel the warmth and giddiness that came with falling in love with someone, to be consumed by another’s affections.

As the age old cliche goes, Y/N seemed oblivious to Spencer’s yearning. Though it wasn’t entirely her fault, as his idea of flirting wasn’t exactly obvious to the subject of his desire.

He’d bring her coffee from her favourite little shop on chilly winter mornings, watching as her face lit up with joy and feeling the familiar tenderness fill him, knowing he was the reason she was smiling. Of course, Y/N only interpreted the act as a friend buying another friend a drink, when it really was so much more than that.

When his attempt at showing her that he wanted to be more failed, he went back to the drawing board, brainstorming other ways he could tell her he loved her without ever actually having to say the words.

His second approach came in the form of touch. More specifically, not being so uptight over touch. He wasn’t going to push himself to a point where he would be uncomfortable, but he was going to be a little more open to touch. And besides, if it came from Y/N, he figured he wouldn’t mind it at all. The approach was executed for the first time on the way home on the jet after a case that had shaken the entire team. He sat next to her as he always did, but this time he reached out his hand, that was trembling ever so slightly to place over her own shaking hands. She looked up from her lap, facing Spencer with a shocked look on her face. Sure, they’d hugged and such before, during dinner nights at Rossi’s or after they experienced a ‘I thought I lost you’ moment in the field, but never had he shown that level of affection before.

He took it another step further. The next time they were on the jet, it was late, and the team were exhausted after spending days in a row awake as they worked a gruelling child abduction case. It had ended pretty well, with the child home safe and the unsub in custody, but the entire team had practically passed out as soon as they were sat in the soft leather seats of the jet. Y/N had fallen asleep next to him, her neck bent at an angle that couldn’t have been comfortable. Seeing this, Spencer placed down the book he was reading on the table in front of him, quickly glancing around the jet to check that the team were asleep, mostly so Morgan wouldn’t tease him for what he was about to do.

He gently moved his arm, placing it around her shoulder and smoothly guiding her body to rest against his, her head dropping down onto his shoulder in a much more comfortable position than it was before. He succeeded in not waking her, smiling down at her when she nestled her face into the crook of his neck as she slept, her small hands gripping onto the fabric of his sweater vest as cute soft snores left her lips.

When the pilot announced they were due to land within the next few minutes, Spencer gently shook Y/N awake, hoping that he wouldn’t startle her. She blinked her pretty eyes open slowly, taking in her surroundings. She smiled a little when she noticed the position she’d been sleeping in, sitting up. spencer tried not to seem too upset when she pulled completely away from him.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to use you as a human pillow.” She joked.

He pushed his slight upset aside, forcing a small smile. “It’s okay. You were sleeping in a position that would’ve hurt your neck if you stayed in it, so I figured my shoulder would be better for you.” He tried so hard to pour as much sincerity and sentiment into the words as he could, hoping and praying she’d read between the lines.

She didn’t. She simply patted his chest, murmuring a small ‘thank you’, before buckling her seat belt for landing.

Spencer was starting to lose hope in his subtle approach, part of him figuring he was just going to have to come right out and say it- ‘I love you and I have done for months now.’

One evening, after a tiring paperwork day in the office, Spencer looked around the bullpen to see that everyone else on the team had gone home. Himself and Y/N were the only ones still packing up. Feelings aside, they were close friends, and normally waited for one another to pack up before walking out together to their cars.

Y/N threw the strap of her handbag over her shoulder, eyes sweeping over her desk to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything. She turned around, walking toward the exit of the bullpen as she glanced over to Spencer, who was placing a book inside his satchel.

“You ready to go?” She asked.

He threw his satchel strap over his shoulder, nodding as he followed her out to the elevators.

As they waited for the elevator, Y/N took note of how fidgety he seemed. His fingers played anxiously with the leather strap of his bag, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he looked down at his shoes. A ding sounded out, the doors opening before them, Spencer gesturing with his hand for her to go in first- ever the gentleman.

Y/N waited a moment to see if he would start talking, like he usually did, rambling about something or other. However, he seemed uncharacteristically quiet, his eyes trained on the floor. She could practically hear the cogs turning in his head. She decided she’d just start talking to fill the silence, knowing that Spencer would speak when he wanted to.

At the sound of her voice, his eyes snapped up to her face. He wasn’t listening to what she was talking about, instead his eyes lingered on her facial features, memorising every freckle, the blush on her cheeks and the passion in her eyes as she spoke. His mind swam with possibilities.

How am I supposed to make a move? I’m obviously going to have to be more upfront about it so she gets the message.

They exited the elevator once it reached the lower level car park. She turned to Spencer with an unsure smile, wanting to ask if there was something wrong but deciding against it. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, she gave him a simple wave and headed off in the direction of her car.

Spencer stood there, watching her walk away as his brain worked at a thousand miles a minute to come up with something to say-

“Wait up!” He called after her, speeding to follow after her. She turned around at the call of her name, confused as she saw Spencer coming after her.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah- it’s just, its late. Let me walk you to your car.” He proposed, saying the first thing he could think of that would buy him some more time.

Y/N’s face showed that of surprise, but she nodded, nonetheless. “Okay. Thanks, Spence.”

Once they reached her car, she turned to face him with a small smile. “Well, thanks again. I’ll see you tomorrow?” She opened her car door, throwing her bag inside first onto the passenger seat.

Spencer’s mind was in overdrive, trying to think of what to do. How could he make it clear to her?

He could only think of one thing.

When she turned back around to face him, she let out a gasp at the feeling of his lips on hers. His hands cradled her cheeks gently and his lips pressed against her own. The action shocked her, and before she had much of an opportunity to kiss back or even think about what was happening, he’d pulled away.

His eyes darted across her face, trying to gage her reaction and his hands fell from her cheeks, hanging by his side as he took a few steps back. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that I-“ He squeaked, trying to think of what he could say to make the situation any better. Instead, he swallowed his nerves and just decided to come out with it all. There was really no going back now. “No- I do know why I did it. I love you, Y/N. I have done for months. You don’t have to say anything, I just wanted you to know, that’s all.”

Y/N still had that shocked expression on her face as she choked out. “You- you love me?”

“Yes.” Spencer whispered, afraid to say the words.

“Oh.” Y/N started, her mouth opening and closing as she desperately tried to find the right words to explain herself. “I don’t really know what to say.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything, it’s clear I shouldn’t have done that. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Spencer cringed, quickly turning around and heading towards his own car.

“Spencer, wait!” Y/N called after him, but he kept walking, too overwhelmed and embarrassed to hear what she had to say.

Fuck. That could’ve gone better.

Y/N thumped down in her driver’s seat, pulling the door of the car shut behind her. Her breaths got heavy, and she felt the familiar weight on her chest as tears pricked at her eyes.

She put her head in her hands and sobbed.

Spencer sat at his desk, nervously twiddling his thumbs as his knee bounced anxiously under the table. He’d arrived at work that day earlier than usual so he could give himself time to figure out what the hell he was going to do when he saw her. He bit down on his lip as he stared at the glass bullpen doors, waiting for Y/N to arrive.

He occupied himself with thinking of what he was going to say when he saw her. Should he say he didn’t mean it, and hope that would save their friendship? Or would that only make it worse? She obviously didn’t feel the same, so what was he supposed to do? Part of him felt bad that he hadn’t stayed and heard her out, listened to whatever she had to say. But he just had to get out of there. After all, he’d essentially put his heart in her hands, laid everything out on the table for her and she’d said ‘Oh.’

He didn’t notice a presence beside him until a hand waved in his face. Alex was perched on the end of his desk; waving her hand in front of his face, evidently trying to get his attention.

“Reid? Hello?”

He blinked out of his daze, looking up at her. “Hm?”

“I asked what was up with you. You seem.. distant.” Alex noted.

“It’s nothing.” He brushed her off, not feeling like talking about it.

Alex narrowed her eyes down at the boy who’d become like a son to him. “Yeah, like I believe that. Come on, you can tell me.”

He sighed, giving in and swivelling in his chair to face her. “I walked Y/N to her car last night.”

Alex’s face lit up. She knew how bad the crush he had on Y/N was, as she was one of the few that he’d trusted enough to confide in. This was because he knew, unlike the others, Alex wouldn’t make fun of or baby him about it. She treated him like an actual person, and he liked that.

She clapped her hands together excitedly. “See? I told you that you had it in you.” Alex’s excited was short-lived as she saw the look of disappointment on his face. “What happened?”

Spencer cringed as the memory resurfaced. “I kissed her.”

Alex nodded, not quite letting her excitement show for the sake of Spencer. “That’s good, right? So she knows how you feel now?”

Spencer shrugged. “I guess. But she didn’t say anything; and she didn’t exactly kiss back. And then I got too nervous and I left. So I don’t really know.”

Alex nodded in understanding. “I mean, she was probably just shocked. Give her a little time, I’m sure everything will pan out.” She attempted to advise, settling a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Spencer nodded, grateful for Alex’s advice. He’d just have to deal with it when Y/N got there. He couldn’t very well avoid her forever.

However Y/N didn’t show that day. He overheard JJ tell Derek that she’d called in sick, but he knew that it was likely because she didn’t want to have to face him.

And so, despite what how his mind told him to give her space, he couldn’t help how compelled he felt to drive to her apartment, to at least try and mend what he had broken.

He stopped by the flower shop on his way, hoping that a pretty bouquet might work in his favour if she ended up being mad at him. That was how he ended up stood outside her apartment door, contemplating whether what he was doing was actually a good idea.

He shook all the negativity from his head, raising his hand to knock three times on the door. He heard the shuffle of feet, before the door swung open, Y/N poking her head out to see who was there.

She smiled when she saw him, though she was evidently shocked. “Spencer? What’re you doing here?” She asked, tilting her head to the side in question in a way that Spencer thought was adorable.

“I came to apologise. I’m sorry for what happened yesterday. I- I bought these for you.” He held out a beautiful bouquet of purple flowers, wrapped in a blue tissue paper with a purple ribbon around them.

She gasped at the sight of them, reaching out to take them from him. “God, Spencer- they’re stunning.”

“They’re Hyacinths.” He started, searching desperately for something to say so that there was no room for any awkwardness, even if that meant rambling about flowers. “The purple colour represents sorrow and apologies. They’re often used as a way of asking for forgiveness.” He finished, and she brought them up to her nose, breathing in their sweet scent.

“Thank you so much, they’re lovely, but forgiveness?” She questioned. “What would you need forgiveness for?”

He furrowed his eyebrows, he thought that much was obvious. “When I kissed you yesterday, it evidently made you uncomfortable, and I just really wanted to apologise for ruining our friendship.”

“Ruining our- oh, Spencer, no. It’s not like that. Why don’t you- would you like to come in?” She asked, stepping back so he could come inside. He nodded, stepping in and taking in the space as she closed the door behind him.

She moved to her kitchen so she could fill a vase with some water to place the flowers in, before she went out to her living room, sitting down on her couch and patting the space next to her.

He sat down next to her, placing his bag by his feet on the floor, his gaze in his lap as she spoke. “Why would you think you’d ruined our friendship?”

“When you didn’t turn up for work today I just assumed it was because of what happened last night and if I overstepped I am truly sorry. I don’t expect you to return my feelings or anything, and If you could forget that I said anything, we could just go back to being friends?” He posed, trying to salvage what he could.

“You didn’t overstep.” She whispered. “I’m sorry for not kissing back. I wanted to, believe me, I did. It’s just-“ She paused, looking down at her hands that were folded neatly in her lap. “I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” He whispered back, looking up from his lap to study her own actions.

“Of being vulnerable, falling in love.” She mumbled. “I don’t want to be in a position where I can get hurt again. Things ended so horribly with my last boyfriend and I promised myself I wouldn’t let myself get hurt again, promised that I would just swear myself off from love.” She sniffled, and his heart broke at the sight of tears welling in her eyes. “But then I met you, and that all pretty much went down the drain.” She laughed a little. “Truth is, Spencer, I do love you. But I can’t let myself be so vulnerable again. I’m so afraid of being hurt like I was before; especially when it took me so long to repair myself after my last boyfriend. I can’t- I won’t go through that again.” She whimpered and he nodded, turning his whole body to face her.

“Y/N, you have to know, I would never hurt you. Not like he did, not ever. God, if you were mine- not a day would go by where you didn’t know how much I loved you.” He whimpered, his voice cracking slightly as his throat grew dry.

“I know you wouldn’t but- I just don’t believe in it all. Loving someone has only ever brought me pain and suffering, so why would we be any different?”

He shook his head at her words. “No. Love is- love is one of the most beautiful things in the world.” He reached out, gripping her hands tightly in his. “Let me show you.”

“Show me what?” she sniffled.

“Just how beautiful love can be. True, warming, passionate. Just, let me show you how you deserving you are of love.” He was pleading, and Y/N was so emotionally worn out that she just nodded, crumpling into his chest as she cried, his arms coming around her. “It’s okay, sweet girl. I’m gonna take care of you.”

Spencer was truly committed to proving to Y/N that love exists. The pair had begun dating shortly after the conversation they had at Y/N’s apartment, and she was really starting to see what Spencer was talking about. He showcased his love for her in a multitude of ways.

The first? Dates. Whenever they got the time, Spencer took her on spontaneous late night walks when they got home late from a case but were too overwhelmed to sleep. They’d bundle up in big coats to combat the chill in the air of the night, laughing and chatting quietly as they walked, hands swinging between them. He’d kiss her goodnight when they got back to her apartment, igniting a fire within her, this flicker of warmth and passion and happiness.

The second? A conversation she had with Derek one afternoon in the office kitchenette. She was leaning against the worktop waiting for the kettle to boil, so she could make herself and Spencer a coffee to get them through the towering pile of paperwork they each had to complete. She was staring off out the window, not paying much attention when Derek came up towards her, grabbing a water from the mini fridge and saying her name as a form of greeting. He waved a hand in front of her face to get her attention when he didn’t receive a response, and she snapped her gaze toward him, warm smile on her lips.

“Hey, Morgan. Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good. How about you? How’s everything going with Pretty Ricky over there?” He nodded in Spencer’s direction, and Y/N’s eyes followed, landing on her boyfriend who was quickly flipping over the pages of a case file for his report.

“It’s- it’s good. We’re good.” She smiled, not sure what else she could say without getting too flustered.

Derek studied her intently, watching how her cheeks flushed as she watched Spencer.

“You know how happy you make him, right?”

Y/N was surprised by the comment, turning her gaze back to look at Derek. “What?”

“The smile you’ve put on that kids face, every day? I haven’t seen him smile like that in years. Not since-“ He cut himself off, not wanting to dredge up the past.

She knew what he was going to say, anyway.

Not since Maeve.

Derek cleared his throat and continued talking. “I shouldn’t tell you this, he made me promise I wouldn’t say anything, but he was talking about you the other day.”

“He was?”

Derek nodded. “Kid got all flustered when I asked about you. The blush on his cheeks, he was red as a damn tomato.” He smirked, and Y/N chuckled at the comment. “But, seriously. The way he talks about you? It’s like you’re a goddess of some sort. His eyes quite literally sparkle when he mentions you. His whole face lights up.”

“I’m lucky to have him.” She replied. She felt such a tenderness swell within her as she heard how highly he spoke of her to his friends, it made her feel so loved. She grinned at Morgan before she glanced back over to Spencer and met his gaze. Spencer was watching the interaction from across the room with a frown on his face. When their eyes met he stood up from his desk, making his way over.

“What are you guys talking about?” He pouted adorably, and Derek chuckled, putting his arms up in a fake surrender.

“Nothin’, genius. Just having a chat with your girl here. But I’ll be on my way now.” He smirked, walking away.

Y/N blushed, turning around and busying herself with making Spencer’s coffee, hoping he wouldn’t ask too many questions, though she knew he would. He stood next to her, still pouting.

“What did he say?” He asked, inquisitively.

Y/N shook her head with a smile. “Oh, nothing.”

He whined theatrically, throwing his head back. “Y/NNN.” He dragged out her name as she finished spooning half the sugar jar into his coffee. She slid it toward him as she looked up to meet his eyes.

He gave her his best puppy dog eyes and she relented with a sigh. “He just told me that sometimes you talk about me to him and the team.”

He smiled nervously, gaze dropping down. “All good things, I promise.” He mumbled.

She pushed herself up onto her tiptoes do kiss his cheek gently, which was as much PDA as Hotch would let them get away with in the office. That and the occasional hand hold. “I know. Thank you.” She smiled, before picking up her coffee and walking back to her desk.

The third? Flowers. Every Tuesday, without fail, she’d walk into the office and find a new bouquet on her desk. Or if they were away on a case, he’d place them in the hotel room that they were allowed to share. Each bouquet was accompanied with a note that explained why he bought that particular flower, and what meaning they had.

One morning she came into the office and immediately smiled at the sight of that Tuesday’s bouquet, laid gently on her desktop. She placed her bag down on her chair, lifting the bouquet and plucking the little note that sat on top of them.

‘ Peonies. The Chinese name for ‘most beautiful’ quite literally translates to Peony.

It seems only fitting, as you’re the most beautiful woman on earth.

Love, Spencer. ‘

It felt like Y/N’s heart might jump right out from her chest with how harshly it was beating against her ribcage.

The fourth? Sex. Obviously. Whilst he wasn’t completely inexperienced in the bedroom, he was still a little unsure. Still, he did his research. Unless she requested otherwise, he’d take his time with her. Unless she asked that he be slightly rougher with her, he went slowly, gently, determined that every move and every kiss showcased exactly how much he loved her. He wanted to make love to her, the woman he craved more than anything else.

The fifth? How he held her. On those early Sunday mornings, when no one else was awake. where the golden sun filtered through the gap in the curtains, painting her bare skin in a warming glow that Spencer could only describe as heavenly. She slept peacefully on his chest, his arms around her, one hand holding one of her hands while the other ran up and down her back soothingly. He’d press little kisses to the crown of her head, nuzzling his nose into her hair, breathing her in.

It was pure bliss.

She’d never felt so happy.

She’d never been so in love before.

Upon this realisation, she let her eyelids flutter open, titling her head up slightly to meet his eyes.

“Morning, beautiful.” He whispered, his voice deep and raspy as it always was in the morning.

She beamed up at him, and he brought his head down so he could press his lips to hers in a gentle kiss.

When they pulled back, she felt tears in her eyes as she looked at him. She’d given herself wholly and her heart entirely to Spencer Reid, and he hadn’t hurt her. He’d loved her with everything he had in him, shown her nothing but passion and kindness and opened her to a warmth she hadn’t felt before.

She felt so loved.

Noticing the tears that welled in her eyes, Spencer frowned, moving his hands up to cup her cheeks sweetly. “Why’re you crying?”

“Thank you.”

His frown deepened. “For what?”

“For showing me how beautiful love can be. For loving me. And for allowing me to love you in return.” She whispered, and he smiled down at her.

“It was never a choice. Falling in love with you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

She just nodded at him, moving forward to connect their lips again. She let herself get lost in the euphoric feeling that his love gave her. And while there was no string of words that could correctly convey just how she felt, she knew one that summed it up nicely.

Paradise.

Tag list ; @beyonces-breastmilk @pinkdiamond1016 @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @thelovelyrose @averyhotchner @cynbx

#spencer reid #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x reader #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler #mgg x reader #mgg #criminal minds

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along-came-atsushi · 3 years

Text

BSD Mayoi’s Tarot Cards

I really liked BSD Mayoi’s approach to the tarot card theme and the beautiful artwork they put in there. Therefore, I decided to take a closer look at their meanings and to see if it fits with the chosen character.

All used cards belong to the Major Arcana tarot cards. The Major Arcana represent life lessons, karmic influences and big archetypical themes that influence a person’s life and the journey of their soul. They are the symbol of human consciousness and the key to life lessons. The Major Arcana include 21 numbered cards, starting with The Fool as the number 0. A Major Arcana in a tarot reading means that the person must reflect on the life lessons or that they are currently experiencing this time.

The tarot cards’ meanings and interpretations depend on and changes whether it’s upright or reversed. That means every card has positive (upright) and negative (reversed) meanings and their interpretations are heavily based on context. For example, The Fool in a reversed (negative) interpretation doesn’t simply mean that the person who gets the tarot reading is stupid, but that they might be in a point in their life where they have to decide something important and are reluctant to do so. Justice in an upright (positive) interpretation doesn’t simply mean that the person is righteous, and so on.

Besides their general meaning, the tarot cards also have a meaning for specific aspects of human life: health, spirituality, love and relationships, career and money. For this meta I’m focusing only on their general meaning.

I’m going to show and quote the character’s reaction to their assigned tarot cards first, then describe the card’s design, explain their general meaning and lastly compare it to the character’s personality, relationships and ability. The original cards’ description is based on Rider-Waite’s “Pictorial Key to the Tarot” card guide and can vary with other cards’ designs. Please note that Mayoi has either left out or changed some elements in favor of their artistic freedom.

All information in this meta has been gathered from my research of several internet sites. I really had fun with the way I wrote this meta, so if we’ll ever get more characters as tarot cards, I’d very much like to continue this series.

[Beware: Spoilers for the Hunting Dogs/Decay of Angels Arc!]

Atsushi – The Fool

Memo:

Nakajima Atsushi as The Fool tarot card. While initially surprised by the name of his card, after learning of its interpretations, he seems to be deeply moved as he looks back on his past.

Quotes: - “The name of this card, ‘The Fool’, surprised me at first, but I see it has positive meanings too! I'm kind of relieved...” - “It also stands for ‘freedom’. Hm... Compared to my old self, I can learn a lot of things, everyone from the Agency is by my side... and I can decide my own path...”.

Description:

The Fool usually gazes at the sky and the universe. Atsushi’s gaze is turned towards the viewer, probably a design decision. But he has his head lifted up towards the sky, still implying the original direction of The Fool’s gaze.

He carries his bag with a branch that rests on his shoulder and the bag contains all the things that he needs. Since it’s not big, it could mean that he either doesn’t need much or that he doesn’t own much to begin with. The white rose on his bag symbolizes purity and innocence. The white dog to his feet symbolizes loyalty and protection.

Normally, The Fool is seen to be at the edge of a cliff, unaware that he could fall into the unknown. Behind him is a mountain, symbolizing the challenges that are about to come. But he doesn’t care about these things right now, he’s focused on starting his journey and to learn the lessons that he came to learn.

Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: (new) beginnings, freedom/free-spirited, adventure, travel, originality, innocence, foolishness, carelessness, idealism, youth, spontaneity, lack of commitment.

- REVERSED: recklessness/risk-taking, carelessness, negligence, stupidity, distraction, apathy, irrationality, lack of fun/hope/faith, holding back.

Atsushi’s reaction at the meaning of his card is not surprising, since the word “fool” is not associated with positive meanings. The Fool in tarot is interpreted as the protagonist of a story and the Major Arcana is the path he must take, which is also called “The Fool’s Journey”. Along his way he meets new teachers and new life lessons and unveils the great mysteries of life. He eventually completes his journey reaching The World card.

Despite its name, The Fool is generally a positive card and the change it brings are seen as a welcome one. It indicates new beginnings, which means that someone is on the start of an exciting and unexpected adventure. On this adventure, The Fool may take a leap of faith, but will grow through this as a result. The adventure may not only be mental, but also physical, where The Fool has to travel to a place they’ve never been before.

Reversed, The Fool still means new beginnings, but it can signify that the person is reluctant to start their adventure or to jump into their new experience. It can indicate that the person is living in the moment, but that they behave recklessly towards others in their excitement.

~ ~ ~

This fits Atsushi, since he is the protagonist of BSD’s main story and his journey starts without him knowing about all the things that are about to come (positive and negative).

Atsushi’s past experiences in the orphanage as well as his isolated upbringing make him somewhat unaware and naïve about the world he lives in and its rules. He is unsure in his own capabilities and hesitates to take a new path unfolding before him (e.g., him joining the ADA). The new beginnings, as well as the dog symbolizing loyalty and protection could be a give and take symbolization for Atsushi. Meeting several characters in his life (especially the ADA members) offers him a new beginning, but he also stands in as a new beginning for these characters.

He is loyal and protective towards people who are important to him, but they also believe in him and are loyal and protective towards him, too. During his journey he takes a leap of faith in trusting in characters that were on the antagonizing side at first (Lucy, Akutagawa, Fitzgerald) and as a result, he grows through these interactions.

If possible, he likes to avoid doing tasks alone due to his lack of self-confidence and experience, which is shown when he questions himself, feels distressed or tries to avoid tough situations. Whenever the situation forces him to rely on himself (e.g., infiltrating Moby Dick) he comes out of it having learned a new lesson. His journey doesn’t only take place in his mind, but he has also physically traveled to a place where he has never been before (e.g., Standard Island).

Negative memories and experiences are something that hold him back throughout the story and make him hesitant in his decisions (e.g., the headmaster’s voice in his mind). He acts recklessly and careless in stressful situations, which causes him to tap into other characters’ traps (e.g., when he was under Q’s curse). During these situations he is not able to move on on his own and needs the help of others (e.g., Dazai scolding him). But he slowly realizes that he is now free from those past circumstances. He embraces the good things in his life and with this gradually moves on from his past.

Yosano – The Empress

Memo:

Yosano Akiko as The Empress tarot card. While she is not particularly interested in the divination aspect of tarot, she seems to have noticed the similarities between herself and The Empress.

Quotes: - “Tarot, yes... I am not at all interested in the overly uncertain aspects of divination, but The Empress has a rather beautiful design. I like it.” - “Apparently, The Empress is associated with vitality. Fufu, ‘vitality’. I like the sound of that.” - “I can only treat humans. And even then, I cannot treat all humans. I cannot control the vitality of the land like The Empress. Even so, I must do what I can.”

Description:

The Empress sits on a throne as representation of her dominion over growing things. She wields a scepter with her left hand, which represents her power over life. A shield is placed at her feet, the eagle on it is the heraldic emblem of the Holy Roman Empire. She wears a crown with stars, showing her connection to the mystical realm and the cycles of the natural world (usually there are twelve stars, symbolizing the twelve months of the year and the twelve planets).

Golden wheat grows in the foreground, framing her figure and indicating the abundance of harvest. The background is adorned with mountains, instead of a forest as in the original design. The depiction of nature in The Empress’ card signifies her connection with Mother Earth and life itself. She rejuvenates herself by the energy of nature.

The figure of The Empress is often depicted as a pregnant woman, her robe is patterned with pomegranates, the symbol of fertility. She is also mostly adorned with the symbol of Venus (that is sometimes shown on the shield instead of the eagle), which is the epitome of love, creativity, fertility, beauty and grace.

Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: Pregnancy, fertility, motherhood, sensuality, nurturing, creativity, beauty, femininity, nature, harmony, art, abundance.

- REVERSED: Insecurity, infertility, lack of confidence, lack of growth, overbearing tendencies, disharmony, negligence, creative block, dependence on others.

The Empress represents femininity and motherhood. Parents-to-be (mothers as well as fathers) who receive this card are encouraged to build on their communication with their children and to show them their nurturing side. However, even if the person is not a parent The Empress’ message stays the same.

It tells you to embrace your softer side and to listen to your emotions and intuition. People, especially those in need of empathy and compassion, will be drawn to you and you will be able to provide them with your nurturing. Not only does The Empress represent the creation of life, but also of romance, art or business. She symbolizes the emergence of an idea and the need to be receptive to change.

When The Empress appears reversed it tells you to embrace your feminine qualities. This also applies to men, as it is believed in tarot that all humans have masculine and feminine energies that need to be brought into balance. It signifies that a person may have been suppressing or neglecting their feminine side that needs to be embraced.

A person may be too focused on the material and mental aspects of their life and has disregarded the emotional and spiritual aspects. They may be putting the needs of others before their own or they may feel emotionally overwhelmed, so that they neglect the people important to them. It is advised to shift your focus in these situations and to ground yourself to get back to your inner balance.

~ ~ ~

Yosano is not associated with pregnancy or motherhood per se (since she is not a mother), but her role as a doctor and her ability can be interpreted symbolically in that way. She “creates” life or “gives birth” by bringing people back to life. She “nurtures” life by healing severe wounds.

This fits with her story arc, because she started her medical career already in her childhood. What began as a forced work during the war, turned out be a good blessing at first. The soldiers were in awe with her and her restoring ability, they were thankful and drawn to her nurturing side.

However, this turned out to be seen as the exact opposite, when the soldiers gradually experienced more trauma due to them being brought back to life over and over again. The same people now behaved hostile towards Yosano, involuntarily earning her the title “the angel of death”.

This trauma and abuse led to Yosano suffering herself, because she was forced to put the need of others before her own. This then led to her despising her own life and ability. She became visibly miserable and just a shell of who she once was, believing that she only brought demise to other people.

It was only when Fukuzawa and Ranpo found her that she started to gain hope and strength, because she was told that they were not interested in her ability, but in her kindness for others.This was the start for Yosano to realize that it’s not her supernatural ability alone, but also her mind and intentions that can help people, and marks the start of her career as the ADA’s doctor (even without her ability she is still a doctor and even without that she still values life and wants to save it).

Through her experiences she now knows the limits of her own abilities (both her supernatural ability and her abilities as a doctor), which can be seen in her reaction to her card. She still hasn’t given up on her work and duty, despite her negative memories. She won’t be losing track of herself, because she now has people at her side who truly care for her.

Kenji – The Chariot

Memo:

Miyazawa Kenji as The Chariot tarot card. He seems very interested in the illustrations of the brave horses and their chariot. The two horses depicted on the card remind him of his days back in Ihatov.

Quotes: - “The Chariot looks so valiant! And it has two horses! I bet they're good horses.” - “Apparently, one of the meanings of The Chariot is ‘the ability to take action’. Hmm~, I can't really tell, but what do you think? Do I have that?” - “I think it would be so fun if I could do my detective work with horses like the boy on this card! If I worked with horses, I feel like I'd be able to do a lot more!”

Description:

Kenji is depicted as armored warrior. His laurel crown (although heavily altered in design) symbolize victory, success and spiritual evolution. The figure of The Chariot usually stands tall inside his chariot. In Kenji’s case that has been upgraded and exaggerated to him standing with one foot on the foreside and pointing with one finger ahead. A heavy indication of taking action and moving forward.

In front of the chariot are two horses, which represent positive and negative opposing forces and duality. The two horses pull in different and opposing directions, yet The Chariot uses his willpower and sheer resolve to move them in the direction that he wants. He doesn’t need to hold reins to move, instead he controls it through the strength of his will and mind.

In the original card’s design, the armor of The Chariot is decorated with crescent moons, which represent what is coming into being, a tunic with a square, representing the strength of will and other alchemical symbols that are a representation of spiritual transformation.

The canopy above his head is adorned with six pointed stars that indicate his connection to the celestial world and the divine will. Instead of horses, two sphinxes are in the foreground. A city with a large river can be seen behind The Chariot, symbolizing the need to be in flow with the rhythm of life while charging ahead towards your goals.

Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: victory, overcoming obstacles, success, ambition, determination/willpower, control, self-discipline, hard work and focus, action.

- REVERSED: forcefulness, lack of direction, lack of self-control, powerlessness, aggression, coercion, being blocked by obstacles, opposition.

The Chariot upright represents overcoming obstacles through determination, focus and willpower. The person may feel motivated, ambitious and in control, therefore they are encouraged to go for what they want. There may be challenges and obstacles in The Chariot’s path, but if you stay focused and believe in your own abilities, you will be able to overcome these. The Chariot can also represent travel, as it is a means of transportation.

People who receive this card may feel like they are fighting a battle and because of that act defensively or aggressively to hide that they are emotionally vulnerable at the moment. In this case, you are encouraged to find balance between the heart and the mind. The Chariot also indicates success in sports and competitions.

The Chariot reversed means that a person may feel powerless and lack direction and confidence. They may feel put upon by others or the circumstances in their life. This can lead to anger and frustration as well as uncontrolled aggression. The Chariot advises you that you need to take control of your own destiny and to not let outside forces determine your path.

It indicates that you need to set boundaries and stick to them and to be clear about the time and resources you are willing to dedicate to others. If people in your life become too needy and demanding the person is advised to take back their own power.

~ ~ ~

Kenji starts his story by moving from the land to the city. His decision to leave his family and village, live in the city and to work for the ADA can be interpreted as him moving forward in a physical and spiritual sense. He is willing to challenge his new surroundings and grows through this as a result.

He has shown to be very confident in himself and his abilities, being the most optimistic of the group and to always look on the positive side of things. Tough situations do not worry him much, because he believes the outcome will work out just fine.This determination also transfers to other characters when they are with him and should they find themselves in a distressed situation (e.g., when he had his mission with Atsushi who was constantly worried about how Kenji does his work).

Being able to control something with his pure willpower could also be interpreted as an allusion to his supernatural ability that allows him to lift up cars or tear down stone walls on a whim. However, Kenji’s ability relies on the fact that he needs to be hungry in order to use it and the ADA members also advise to not disturb him when he is sleeping, because he will get irritated and aggressive in that state.

Kenji has been shown to not only be able to get over physical obstacles, thanks to his ability (e.g., bringing Fukuzawa out of the hospital). He is also able to encourage his peers to get over mental obstacles (e.g., his speech to the ADA when they flee from the HD).

Kunikida – Justice

Memo:

Kunikida Doppo as the Justice tarot card. Having always stood for justice and ideals, Kunikida has a favorable impression of this card.

Quotes: - “Justice... What a well-named card. The sword and scale illustrations aren't bad either.” - “I have no desire to sit on a throne, but I value fairness, which is one of the meanings this card holds. I want to uphold this as I carry out my Agency duties.”

Description:

Kunikida as the figure of Justice sits on a throne, holding a sword in his right hand and scales in his left hand. The sword points upwards, symbolizing a firm and final decision. Its double-edged blade is a reminder that our actions always carry consequences. The scales show that intuition must always balance logic and are a symbol of impartiality.

He wears a crown with a small square on it, a representation of well-ordered thoughts. His white shoes looking from underneath his robe also symbolize that our actions have spiritual consequences.

The figure of Justice sometimes is depicted in front of a loosely hung purple veil, which signifies compassion. Two pillars frame the figure, symbolizing balance, law and structure.

Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: justice, karmic justice, consequences, legal disputes, law, truth, honesty, integrity, cause and effect, life lessons, fairness.

- REVERSED: injustice, karmic retribution, dishonesty, corruption, lack of accountability, dishonesty, unfairness, karmic avoidance.

In an upright context, the Justice tarot card is a representation of karmic justice, legal matters, cause and effect. Justice symbolizes truth and integrity and can imply that a person may feel the urge to speak out the truth. This person values honesty and integrity in others, too.

Justice also relates to balance and signifies that an event may occur that is beyond a person’s control or their own making. In these moments Justice encourages the person to keep themself level-headed as the events unfold. It also signifies that a person is about to make a choice and that they are currently weighing all their options. In legal matters, this card shows that the outcome will be a fair and balanced result.

Reversed, Justice means injustice and the avoidance of karmic justice. It symbolizes that a person has been treated unjustly or that they are in a situation where they are being affected unfairly by the choices and actions of others. The person may feel victimized or blamed for something that isn’t their fault. Justice reminds the person to still keep their balance. If the person created the situation themself, it is advised to think about how they can react to that situation. It also signifies that the person must be accountable, if they created the situation by bad choices and actions. This means that the person should not blame others and to be more self-aware.

It can also symbolize dishonesty and that a person should not lie their way out of something or try to justify it. The person may also have hardline views in their life and prejudices the people around them. In legal matters, Justice indicates that the result will be one of injustice or that the outcome may not what the person has hoped for.

~ ~ ~

Kunikida is practically the personification of justice of all of the ADA members and justice is also something that he has been shown to think about a lot. He takes his work very professional and serious and tries to bring every case to a fair result. If he isn’t able to save people, he calls out the unfairness of the situation (e.g. when he tried to save the abducted victims in the Azure Messenger case.) This shows that he feels responsible and guilty even for events that were out of his control.

He seems to try to balance his own life by sticking to his written ideals and calls others out shouldn’t they behave in the same way (e.g. mostly seen when Dazai is neglecting his work). If he notices that people are distressed during a bad situation, he reminds them to keep their balance or he tells them to think about what they can do (e.g. to Atsushi when the Black Lizard attacked the ADA office). But he also reminds himself about these things (e.g., seen when he was told by Jouno that he felt relieved about the ADA getting caught and with this his ideals falling apart. But then he got back to his knees and defended the ADA, so that they could escape.)

When Kunikida meets new people, he keeps up his guard and distance at first, and holds prejudices about them (e.g. when he met Dazai, Atsushi and Kyouka). This can lead to him having a wrong first impression of people (negative and positive) and with this easily fall into traps (e.g., when he did not realize that Sasaki was the Azure Messenger).

This implies that he first weighs to be careful about whom he trusts (in this case a new colleague), and changes his mind about them later, once they have proven to be trustworthy.

Tanizaki – Temperance

Memo:

Tanizaki Junichiro as the Temperance tarot card. While he initially tilted his head at the card's rather strange design, he faces its mystical aura head-on. He seems to have interpreted the card's meaning in his own way.

Quotes: - “The person on this card is pouring liquid from one cup into another... What on earth for?” - “So, Temperance also means ‘harmony’. Hm, am I harmonic? Oh, sometimes I sort things out when there's a commotion at the office... so I guess I am?” - “Hmm, so it means ‘devotion’ too... The only person I'm devoted to is Naomi. To me, Naomi is irreplaceable.”

Description:

Tanizaki balances himself with one foot on land, representing the need to stay grounded and the other in the water, representing the need to be in flow. The water he pours between two cups are the symbol of the flow and alchemy of life. This was a standard symbol of Temperance as one of the cardinal virtues, as it represents the dilution of wine with water.

In many decks, the figure of Temperance is depicted as winged angel, but instead we see two feathers, probably meant as surrogate of the angel’s wings. The background shows a path leading to a mountain with a golden crown on top, but this depiction has been changed in Tanizaki’s card and the golden crown rests upon his own head instead. The crown is a symbol of taking the higher path and staying true to one’s meaning and purpose in life.

Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: Balance, peace, patience, moderation, inner calm, perspective, tranquility, harmonious relationships, soulmates, purpose.

- REVERSED: Imbalance, self-indulgence, excess, clashing, lack of perspective, discord, antagonism, recklessness, hastiness, self-healing, re-alignment.

Upright, Temperance indicates that a person has found their inner calm and peace. They have a good perspective on things and care about harmonious relationships. It signifies feeling content and having found tranquility. Temperance shows that a person is in touch with who they are inside and what they value.

They have their own moral compass and have learned not to get dragged into other people’s conflicts. Minor issues won’t knock them off balance, instead they adapt to the situation with a clear mind and a calm heart. Figuring out your aspirations and your goals is easier for people who get this card in their readings.

In a reversed position, Temperance means imbalance. It signifies that a person behaves in a reckless manner. The person may have lost touch with their inner calm and peace, which leads to them seeking gratification in harmful and risky ways (like alcohol, drug use or gambling).

It can also mean that the person has a lack of harmony with the people in their life and due to this the person may lash out to people close to them, which then causes them to get dragged into drama. In these situations, it is advised to take a step back and look at how you are behaving, because you may lack to see the bigger picture. Examining the root causes and working to resolve them is the way back to your inner calm and peace.

~ ~ ~

Tanizaki appears to be one of the calmest people in the ADA. He does not get into quarrels with others, even if he is wary or hesitant about their ideas (e.g., giving in to Naomi’s demands and shenanigans, hesitating and getting tricked by Dazai to participate in Atsushi’s entrance exam).

Although, he is nervous on missions, he still takes them on with a clear mind and a professional approach. Many missions are entrusted to him alone, showing that people know that he can handle the situation just well.

His decision to work for the ADA could imply that he has found his goal and his purpose in life. His dedication to Naomi shows that he is patient and calm, and that he cares deeply for a harmonious relationship between them. Keeping her safe above all things indicates that he’s sees it as his purpose in his life, too.

However, Naomi is also his biggest weak point. Whenever she is in danger or hurt, Tanizaki gets knocked off his balance and inner calm. These situations make him hastily jump into actions and due to this he becomes an easy target for others (e.g., when he attacked Higuchi out of anger, he didn’t notice Akutagawa; when he was about to kill Mori to save Fukuzawa, he tapped into Kouyou’s trap).

Even though this does not only concern Naomi’s well-being, as he has also been shown to make rush conclusions, if other people he cares about are in danger or in a predicament (e.g., when Fukuzawa was about to die due to cannibalism; offering to join PM as exchange instead of Yosano). His work as a detective on this aspect lets him also get regularly dragged into other people’s drama, either the drama of clients or the drama of other ADA members.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sources: www.biddytarot.com | www.thetarotguide.com | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_Arcana

#atsushi nakajima bsd #akiko yosano bsd #kenji miyazawa bsd #doppo kunikida bsd #junichiro tanizaki bsd #Atsushi Nakajima #Akiko Yosano #Kenji Miyazawa #Doppo Kunikida #Junichiro Tanizaki #bsd meta #bsd analysis #Bungou Stray Dogs #bsd mayoi

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sugarcubetikki · 3 years

Text

The Scarf - Mr. Pigeon 72 Endcard

@8unnix2 pointed out the huge presence of the scarf in the endcard.

It's funny how they particularly featured Adrien wearing that scarf in most of the posters out of all the gazillion pictures they could have used. They pretty much threw it right in our faces. Foreshadowing? Symbolism?

I have an own idea of my own. It may be a bit of a stretch.

Umbrella Scene 2 created a turning point in terms of Marinette expressing herself.

It reflected her growing and becoming more direct with her feelings.

A big obstacle in previous episodes was her inability to express her feelings, she'd never be able to express her feelings clearly. She kept sending Adrien mixed messages throughout the seasons.

However, this scene presents her taking a step forward, and clearly expressing what she wants. Instead of creating a complicated scheme or doing something stupid like saying the opposite of what she actually wants like she would've done previously.

No complications. No schemes. She straight-up asks him whether he wants to walk home with her. And that's what drives their interaction in the scene.

That conveys a shift in status quo. It reflects her learning to express her feelings clearly.

Despite her still struggling, despite her stammering, she's taken a step forward to clearly express her feelings.

And that's important to note.

I want to go back to an essential scene in the NY special.

The one where Nino and Alya discuss why Adrien and Marinette can never get closer.

Nino: Yup. I love Adrien, but he's like a baby chick that's just started cracking out of his egg. He has a hard time understanding the signals people send him.

Alya: What signals? Marinette isn't exactly sending them clearly. I mean, look! What is she doing with her arms? Telling him what to do in case of an emergency landing or something?

Nino: If only this trip could help Adrien finally come out of his shell.

Alya: And if only it could help Marinette be more honest with herself and clearer about her feelings!

The two problems that Alya and Nino highlight here are:

Marinette being unclear about her feelings.

Adrien's difficulty in "cracking out of his shell".

These are the reasons every time why Marinette and Adrien can never seem to get closer.

Marinette keeps sending Adrien mixed signals and this poor oblivious boy who's been confined to his home his entire life faces difficulty in understanding her, he's not very good with social cues in the first place, she confuses him even more. That's what contributed to miscommunication/lack of communication between them.

NY didn't really resolve this problems. It's intention was never to resolve. It's intention was to address them and build on them but never to completely resolve them. As these issues have existed for a really long time, and it takes a lot more than one special to solve them. It's part of their character arcs.

However, for Obstacle Number 1, Mr. Pigeon 72 was the turning point. Umbrella Scene 2 depicted Marinette being able to clearly express herself and carry a conversation with Adrien. It reflected that Marinette's is the closest to overcome that obstacle than ever! Which is really really good.

What about Obstacle Number 2...

Adrien's difficulty in "cracking out of his shell".

The way I interpret this phrase is that Adrien really needs to open up to his surroundings more. He's been in his little reserved shell for too long, and therefore faces difficulty in opening up to who he really is.

This was even addressed in Lies. Adrien's many masks to conceal his "real self".

His model mask and his Chat Noir self.

These are all sides to Chat.

His model image is who is father wants him to be.

Him as Chat is who he wants to be.

But is it who he really is?

His model image is to be an image of perfection.

Him as Chat is meant to be his cheerful side.

But they conceal his insecurities, his awkwardness, his deeper feelings in most cases.

They conceal his trauma.

They conceal his desires.

They conceal how scared he actually is.

He maintains these images to everyone. He doesn't want to open up to who he really is. He doesn't want to show anyone that shy, awkward, broken boy. And that is reasonable. Because that's not something you want everyone to see. But Adrien masks himself to people who want to help him. He masks it completely. It's really important that Nino mentions him cracking out of his shell.

Because Nino is the first person who saw that awkward boy on their very first day.

He saw how bad he felt with the whole incident. He saw how bad he wanted to fix things with Marinette. He saw how much it hurt for him that he felt like he messed up on his first ever day of school, and how he was clueless with what to do, with how socially incapable he is.

Adrien doesn't how to present himself. He can't open up to his surroundings. He's wears too many masks because that's what he's used to, that's what he's comfortable with. He hasn't interacted with people enough to know that it's okay to open up and express some sides to yourself that you'd think people wouldn't like (screw Gabriel for raising him to be a perfect child).

Obstacle Number 2 hasn't had its turning point yet. It still exists. The reason why it's important that Adrien opens himself up more in terms of Adrienette development is to prevent miscommunication and misunderstandings between them. Things that have been happening for the past few seasons. They need to be able to interact and understand each other better.

Coming back to the actual reason I made this post: the scarf.

The reason why the scarf is such a strong symbol to the audience is because Adrien is oblivious that Marinette is the one who made the scarf.

His under the illusion that the scarf is from his father, not Marinette.

The scarf represents his obliviousness.

Firstly, that connects with him being unaware of Marinette's feelings, which is mainly reliant on her unclear form of expressing herself, but it also shows that they're more obstacles between them than what's in their control.

Secondly, the illusion that it's from his father does build on how eager Adrien is for his father's affection, and how much he wants to believe it. But he's oblivious to his father's true intentions with this mindset, he's chasing after something that's bound to break.

Thirdly, being under his father's arm, conveys him being in his shell. He has to live up to a perfect image. Restrict himself from the world. All whilst blindly believing in his father despite his intentions. It shows that Adrien can't carry on like this. He needs to break out of this shell. He can't be perfect anymore. He shouldn't restrict himself. And he shouldn't blindly believe someone who's doing something horrible.

The massive presence of the scarf in the endcard could foreshadow a similar/sibling scene to Umbrella Scene 2.

The scarf reveal.

It's really important as this happens because it destroys everything that prevented Adrien from opening up.

He's made aware of Marinette's intentions. Causing him to see her in a much brighter light. A different life. And he's drawn to open up with her even more. It pulls them closer. She did this to make him happy. And that'll strike a chord within him that'll make him want to open up with her.

But it'll also hurt Adrien. That illusion is broken. That illusion where he thought his father actually did something affectionate and nice for him once. He's been believing and treasuring that illusion since the very beginning. He can't trust it anymore. Hope for his father, the prime reason for him being in his shell, is going to crack a little, and so is his shell, and it'll make him want to strive out of it more.

If Umbrella Scene 2 fixed Obstacle Number 1 with a turning point of Marinette striving to clearly express herself, let loose and dance in the rain for Adrienette development and Marinette development.

A Scarf Reveal will fix Obstacle Number 2 leading to Adrien to open himself up more (especially with Marinette), try to become more aware of his surroundings instead of being trapped under illusions of oblivion. Paving way for another turning point in the Adrienette dynamic and contributing to Adrien's character development.

It's a lovely win-win situation.

#sugar analyses #ml spoilers #mr pigeon 72 #ml speculation #ml analysis #ml season 4 #ml meta #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #adrienette #ml love square #gabriel agreste #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #umbrella scene #scarf reveal

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novelconcepts · 3 years

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Hello! So I know from your blog that you’re moving house and super busy, so no worries if you never respond to this message. But you are my favorite interpreter of all things Mike Flanagan, so I thought I’d reach out re Midnight Mass.

What do you think is happening in that moment at the end of episode 5 after the sun hits Riley’s face but before we see Erin’s reaction? Is it Riley’s last second fantasy of going to the “after death”, whatever that might be (heaven, returning to the earth, etc.)? Or is it what actually happens to Riley at the moment of his death (seeing the girl he killed, seeing her at peace and forgiving him, leading him to whatever comes next)?

What are your overall thoughts on Msgr. Pruitt/Paul? The most common take I’m seeing is that he’s super hot (which, I’m sorry, I’m way too much of a lesbian to find this milquetoast white dude hot) and not a bad guy because all he did was for a second chance with the woman he loved and his daughter, with a big helping of “Bev manipulated him into doing all the bad things.” I’m not really feeling any of those takes and have a hard time hand waving away the horror he unleashed on this community for his own (selfish) ends.

The show’s portrayal of Bev and her type of zealotry and pride and awfulness is unflinching. She in turn receives her just desserts and I was glad to see her burn. But on some level, I do think Bev believed the bullshit she is selling and does believe she is doing God’s will. In contrast, we have Pruitt essentially admitting he did it all for selfish, though not bad (love, regret), reasons, and then dying with the love(s) of his life with Millie’s forgiveness. It feels like the show (to a small extent) and the fandom to a ridiculous (though typical of fandom) extent, forgive his “trespasses” to an unsupportable degree. I’m just curious where you landed with his character at the end.

Random final thoughts (since my wife can’t watch horror and I can’t flail about it with her) - the scene in episode 7 with Hassan and Ali on the beach praying hit me so hard the first time, and has made me cry on each of my subsequent rewatches. So beautiful. Kate Siegel is very, very talented- her screaming in horror as Riley burned gutted me. The demon wearing sacred robes might be the funniest thing I’ve seen all year - when I first saw a screenshot I thought it was a joke fan edit…heeeeeeeee!!!

Hello! So, I've only watched the show once, and it's been a minute, so forgive me for not being as detailed as usual. I might get things wrong, but this is where I stand on your questions.

1) What was really happening to Riley in that final moment? I'm inclined to take it a little less literally. Riley has been obliterated by his mistakes; he killed a girl, and he's never able to find his footing again after committing such a reprehensible (albeit accidental) sin. It's enough to strip him of his faith, it's enough to strip him of his purpose; even being back at home with the woman he presumably still loves, he has no real life. He's written himself out of his story, refusing any real future; he's simply existing. And then he's turned, and he's faced with two options. Keep going as this new thing, knowing there's another face to the addiction that, already residing in him before the "angel", led him to take a life--or refuse. Flat-refuse to ever harm another soul, even if it means dying himself. I don't know that it's actually heaven, or actually him seeing the girl he killed in that moment, I think it's...him finally finding purpose again, for one final moment. His purpose is to warn the woman he loves, and refuse to hurt anyone ever again. It's the first time he finds any sense of himself again, the man he was before the accident, the man he wishes he could be: the one who makes the choice not to get behind the wheel, so to speak. I think this is him forgiving himself the way Leeza forgives Joe: what you did isn't okay, it will never be okay, but we are moving forward now.

2) Pruitt. Pruitt is--hot take--a bad guy. He's a very bad guy. But he's a bad guy with good intentions who has the capacity to understand his evils and repent, which is...sort of incredible, when you think about it. For much of the show, this is a man who has let his faith lead to zealotry, to violence, to getting progressively more consumed by his extremism...because it's the only way he can justify what he's done to his community. He brought this thing here. He poisoned his congregation, his community, his family--these people who trusted him. He did it because it was already done to him, and the only way he could process that trauma was to pass it on to others and call it salvation. He murders, and he leans into his Bible passages, and he does heinous things--and it's all the worse, in a way, because he tells himself he did it for love. Mildred doesn't want this; we see it instantly, when she's back in her right mind and disgusted by the way he's speaking of armies at the pulpit. She never asked for this, and he's going to use her--her name, her love--to explain his actions? I think it's incredibly important that they have the conversations they do, that she tells him the creature did hurt her (with such gentle steadiness, such a pitying of course to it), and that Sarah refuses his blood in the face of death. These women he loves are saying, Look. You can't hide behind your good reasons. Look at what you did. We don't accept that. We don't abide it. And if he were the kind of terrible Bev is--the kind of person who refuses to back down in the face of new information, the kind of person who leans on zealotry because it's easier than admitting they were wrong--he'd be reprehensible. But he's capable of shame, he's capable of admitting he fucked up royally, and he's capable of doing what little he can to right the wrongs he's committed. Good guy? Absolutely not. Human being who made abhorrent choices, while still keeping some room for penance? Yeah, I think that's fair.

I think a lot of the show's message--through Riley, Joe, Pruitt, even the changed community members who refuse to kill despite their hunger--is about bucking the idea that we're ever lost, so long as we want to be better. We may not be owed forgiveness, but we can always work toward it. There's always hope--so long as we are willing to try. Which is where we come to:

3) Bev. Bev is, in a way, Pruitt's foil. Both of them do despicable things. Both of them do these things in the name of God. Bev's been doing these things forever--she's been pulling Pruitt's strings while he was incapacitated by dementia, unable to register what her manipulation was, and she's made a throne for herself at Crockett in so doing. The difference is, Bev...doesn't want to try. She does believe her own bullshit, I'm certain; I don't think you can go that deep without believing you're right. And she actively steamrolls anyone who tries to hold a human conversation with her, actively shutting her ears to anyone who offers contrasting opinions. She won't listen to anyone tell her the dog won't hurt her, much less anything about her faith or the way she conducts herself on the island. Pruitt is a man who is not too far gone to be talked back to reality; Bev has no interest at all in doing that kind of work. She is the darker side of the coin, the horror of what happens when we let our certainty strip away room for empathy. She can't be forgiven, not because she's done anything more horrific than what other characters have (although, uh, never fucking over Pike, thanks), but because she displays no willingness whatsoever to admit fault and try to be a better person. She's arguably the only one on that island who just...won't give the possibility of having fucked up the time of day, because it would unbind her entire personality and worldview to do so. But I do think she believes in herself, and thinks she truly is entitled based on her faith. In her mind, she's kept this community strong. She's built a house for God. She has absolutely no interest in hearing anything to the contrary.

4) Agreed with all these points. The depiction of Hassan and Ali is gorgeous and heartrending, and that final shot of them crushes me. Erin is glorious, and Siegel plays her to perfection; the final monologue about death (I always forget my dreams) had me weeping. Annnd the angel is a messy bitch who lives for drama, him popping out in his literal Sunday Best truly is just. The funniest fucking choice in a show that's pretty light on humor. Well done, Flanagan.

#ask #midnight mass #midnight mass spoilers #long post #good LORD this got long i'm so sorry #but yeah. from a first watch two months ago this is where i stand #the point overall is not how good or how evil someone can be #it's how willing they are to choose to be better #and it's never too late. joe doesn't start attending AA for presumably decades after his alcoholism starts hurting people #riley doesn't until he's killed a girl #pruitt is a metaphor for taking the abuse you've withstood and turning it back on others once you attain some power #these people are hitting the lowest of rock bottom and still saying 'how can i be better. i want to be better.'#it doesn't mean we forgive them. it definitely doesn't mean we write off the bad as nothing #but they want to be better. we always have that choice. we have to take it.#especially when there's nothing left #i'm inclined to say that's the deepest core of the theme if i had to pick one

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sartorialadventure · 3 years

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As a new book is published on African wax print textiles, Vogue speaks to its author about the complex origins and stories behind eight of the most vibrant prints. Once a craze confined to Africa’s Gold Coast; now, African wax prints have gone global. Take Beyoncé, who rocked the printed cotton fabric for her baby shower last year, asking her guests to wear African-centred gelées, kufis and wax-printed pieces. “It is everywhere but at the same time people don’t know really the story and the meanings of this textile,” says Anne Grosfilley, author of a new book, African Wax Print Textiles, published by Prestel this month (£45, available here). The book is a detailed exploration of the fabric’s origins, techniques and cultural currency as well as a showcase of vibrant, eye-popping designs. “There are colours you would not see in other types of textiles,” Grosfilley says, citing deep blue with orange. These are also clothes with deep meaning: often, fabrics have hidden messages. African wax prints actually came from the Netherlands. In the second half of the 19th century, fuelled by the industrial revolution and colonial expansion, new markets opened in the Dutch East Indies (now Indonesia) as well as Africa. With the Netherlands securing its presence in Java, its textile companies began competing with the local artisanal batik techniques, producing their own cotton prints. These Dutch wax prints, however, bombed as the Dutch dyes created cracks, so new markets had to be found. In 1893 the first Dutch wax prints landed in the African Gold Coast (now Ghana), where they became style and status symbols. During the 1950s, their appeal spread across west Africa, when the Mercedes-Benz driving female entrepreneurs (known as the Nana Benz) bought the fabrics into Togo and gave them names to add mystique. Africa’s fight for independence in the 1960s led to wax prints being made locally. More recently, cheap Chinese copies have made wax prints more accessible to the rest of the world. Now, wax prints are worn with denim and other Western styles with men donning the print too. Here, a selection of the most intriguing wax prints and the unusual stories and meanings behind them.

Alphabet, 1920

Created in 1920, this alphabet design was worn mainly by people who went to the colonial school, and could read, write and count with the new mathematics. “People were very proud of it and they would wear this wax print to say, 'look, I’m literate and an educated person’”, says Grosfilley. Today, the design still retains this symbolism, even used by political parties for propaganda, "as if to say, 'look, this is a good value design and I am a good value president, so you should support me because I am as good as education,’” she says. Modern motifs have updated the design with computers replacing blackboards.

Elizabeth II, 1956

Designed for Queen Elizabeth II’s first visit to Nigeria in 1956, Grosfilley believes this wax print was given away to ensure a crowd gave her a warm welcome - as the visit was shortly before the country gained independence. It’s an African tradition for people to wear the same fabric for a specific occasion, whether it's close family and friends at a wedding, or at a political rally where the crowd wears a print with the president’s face, or to show solidarity with a group or community. "In Africa, we are less individualistic than in the western cultures,” argues Grosfilley, though explains that each person wears print in their own way. “So you are part of a group but at the same time you are unique." Don't miss the imperfections of the wax process that appear as cracks in her fur and the early wax print colours, brown and indigo, on the original white of the fabric.

Fly-Whisk, 1950

A fly swatter may seem like an everyday symbol, but actually it symbolises power and prestige. Why? These are the brooms used to swat away the mosquitoes and other flies from the kings and traditional chiefs of the Akan people who live across the Ivory Coast and Ghana. Once wielding great economic power selling gold and ivory to the British and other countries, today these kings and chiefs are more symbolic. Designed in 1950, the pattern is set in big squares à la Adinkra, Adire and other African handmade textiles and has a decorative background to prevent any cracks caused by the batik process being seen.

Darling, Don't Turn Your Back On Me, 1980s

This abstract pattern from the 1980s was inspired by paper used to wrap meat in a French butcher. According to Grosfilley: “This is the magic of wax print, as you see a design and you project something which may be completely different from the original meaning.” For women in Toga, it's known as, “darling, don’t turn your back on me,” when they think their man is not looking at them anymore, but another woman. “In real life, the men don’t understand or don’t care as they don’t pay attention to the meaning of wax print. So although the message is to the man, really it is to the other woman,” she says.

[I am suddenly visualizing women wearing clothing with the boyfriend meme printed on it!]

Shell

One of the earliest wax print designs, produced in Ivory Coast, this is now a classic. Depicting the wings of the Garuda bird, Indonesia’s national emblem, this print symbolises how Indonesian designs have been re-interpreted in Africa. Take the Ghanaians, who see the design as a bunch of bananas, as “it’s part of their basic food as you’d eat it as a fruit or in a stew,” says Grosfilley. Or the Togans, who call the print, “the snail coming out of its shell,” after the snails they eat (and local phrase meaning "busybody"). Wearing the design, according to Grosfilley, means that “you should look at your own business instead of looking at what other people are doing,” she says.

Michelle Obama's Handbag, 2008

Some designs take on famous names. There’s Kofi Annan’s brain, the heart of Barack Obama and this one, named after Michelle Obama when her husband first became the president of the United States, in 2008. The basic appeal translates as: “You cannot afford to be Michelle Obama or buy the same bag as she carries, but because you can buy the pattern on wax print it’s like you’re part of it,” says Grosfilley. Yet, the connection to Obama is accidental. “Vlisco just designed a nice bag but then it’s the African market who said, 'Wow, we should make a connection between Michelle Obama and the bag',” she says. Made from Super Wax, which is softer, thinner and has an extra colour, wearing this more expensive fabric symbolises prestige.

Violent Eyes, The Mouth Says Nothing, 2011

The surrealist shoe with its tongue-like heel and multiple red-varnished toes is a detail of a larger design, created in 2011, in the Netherlands. Called "the eyes see, but the mouth does not speak,” the print is dominated by a huge mouth with a finger against it to say "shush, don’t speak" in the centre with little mouths in the background which also say nothing. “It’s about being an elegant woman and at the same time full of humour,” says Grosfilley. “We are saying, wear something just to see the good side of things.” The quirky design is accentuated by a bright red outline instead of the classic indigo, showing new ways of using the batik technique.

Reproduction Fan Print, 2000s

When electrical fans were introduced to Africa in the 1980s, they appeared on wax print as signs of modernity (as did mobile phones). Now, as fans are only bought by those without air-conditioning, the meaning has changed. “It is casual. You’ve got chairs, table, so what, there’s no point,” the author says. Printed on polycotton from China rather than cotton, bright new colours have been added, like the maroon and yellow and green combo since the original design debuted.

#fashion #african fashion #vlisco #prints #fashion history #africa #dutch fashion #javanese fashion #java #the netherland

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