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paellegere · 6 months

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go happily to the stone

this is my fandom sideblog. i like to liveblog what i'm watching or reading. i'm also a writer, so i may share wips and updates occasionally too. i have a lot of fun with literary and media analysis, so this is a place where i can ramble about my thoughts :)

i mostly post about supernatural right now since it has consumed my brain. i tag everything i post by fandom, so please feel free to mute tags to avoid any spam!

supernatural-related tags:

my meta, analysis, essays, and comparatives (occasionally contained in the tags)

seasonal reviews

all liveblogging posts

general meta, analysis, alternate canons, speculations

i follow from @metanoeins :)

this is just a short about me/the blog section for those who care to know.

i'm an adult, i'm queer, and i am deeply fascinated by the grotesque and disturbing. i'm a big fan of horror, tragedy, and bitter endings. i can be a bit pretentious about the art i engage with, but i'm generally funny about it and i do love trashy/campy/badly written art under a wide range of circumstances.

my serializd page

my letterboxd page

i'm not myself interested in sex, but i have a lot of somewhat niche, nonsexual kinks i like to explore in fiction, mostly in terms of exploring and playing around with agency. most of these are supernatural in nature, and i prefer these kinks being explored through a tone of horror. a short list of big ones include:

mind control (specifically wherein the one being controlled is aware and conscious—i'm not a fan of brainwashing)

genderbending, bodyswaps, and forcefem

soulbonding (can include sharing thoughts, emotions, sensations; a need to be physically near each other; being supernaturally compelled to feel or act a certain way toward the other)

dubcon (noncon is fine too, but i prefer the ambiguity of dubcon)

soulmates (only as played as horror/tragedy, never played straight)

i also enjoy exploring sex symbolically.

my ships are not necessarily romantic or sexual in nature. feel free to consider them as such though, because i will certainly talk about them using romantic or sexual language as the boundary to me is irrelevant. my OTP is wincest (samdean), and it is what i talk about most on this blog because they won't get out of my head.

i do not have any particular "hard line" as to what i will and will not ship. i tend to gravitate toward certain pairings and characters with whom i can use to play around with my kinks, and i really like unhealthy, fucked up, and toxic dynamics and portraying them as such. my favorite dynamics can usually be described as "i don't want you but i need you," or are otherwise built around an unhealthy devotion/codependency for each other.

i like my men soggy, devoutly religious (loose definition), and/or abominations to god. as a consequence, my main blorbos are:

sam winchester (supernatural)

john irving and thomas jopson (the terror)

lestat de lioncourt (the vampire chronicles)

izzy hands (our flag means death)

i'm by and large more story- or dynamic-oriented than i am character-oriented. i'm also kind of long-winded (no shit sherlock). anyway i hope this is helpful; thanks for reading :)

#intro #i guess this can be a pinned post? sure #about me under the cut

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crypticqueer1 · 2 years

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Honestly, I think that Dean would have been a better match for Lucifer than Sam.

The main reason Sam was chosen for Lucifer was because they both broke off from the family, and because of the parallels between their fathers and brothers.

But really, Dean is more like Lucifer, his fall just happened later.

They both have the same crappy dad, and a brother who ‘betrayed’ them.

In Supernatural, Lucifer’s story is that he idolized his brother, but his brother turned on him, and called him a monster. This fits both Sam and Dean. While the parallel with Sam is more obvious, Dean also matches this. He idolized his dad, and felt betrayed when Sam left.

Lucifer was one of God’s favorites, but when humans were created, he wasn’t able to accept that he wasn’t God’s favorite anymore. Dean was super loyal to John, but he realized that John put avenging Mary’s death above him and Sam.

God told Lucifer to love humans more than him, and Lucifer refused, saying that humans were monsters. John told Dean that all ‘monsters’ were evil, and needed to be killed. Lucifer fell to hell for his disobedience, and we all know that if John knew that Dean befriended several monsters, and thought that they weren’t all evil, John would have gone crazy. Both fathers tried to make their sons view the world a certain way, without actually paying attention to them.

Lucifer created demons, and the knights of hell, and Dean created Team Free Will (and Team Free Will 2.0), as acts of defiance to God.

Despite being the bad guy, Lucifer often showed signs of being human. He showed disappointment when Michael berated him, and admired Castiel for his loyalty. (This is an example of how angels themselves, despite being holy beings, are just as human as Sam and Dean) Dean is supposed to be a soldier, but we see him break multiple times.

Sam was a good vessel for Lucifer, but Dean could have been too. Actually, it might have been better for Lucifer if he had chosen Dean. He could have used Sam and easily gotten Dean to give up control to him. Sam didn’t have as much of an attachment to Dean that Dean has to him, so Lucifer might have had more luck with Sam by appealing more to his morality. Sam would become a vessel he thought it would save the world, but Dean would always put Sam above humanity, making him easier to manipulate.

I have some more character and relationship analysis I have planned, so tell me what y’all think.

-How angels are just as human as Sam and Dean, despite being ‘holy beings’

-How John’s treatment of both his sons shaped them into something he never wanted them to be

-How Dean’s love for Castiel started as faith in a higher being, and then became pure, true love because of his humanity

-How Dean treated Jack badly at first cause he was afraid of making Jack depend on him like Sam did, only to disappoint him

If there’s anything else y’all want my analysis on, let me know!

#supernatural #dean winchester #destiel #sam winchester #lucifer #parallels #analysis #character analysis

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dotthings · 4 years

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After 15.07 ended I had to sit there crying for about ten minutes, marinating in my Dean feelings. So that’s how things are going here.

[[MORE]]

Dean sure is drinking a lot. Oh sweetie. Sure he’s fine. He’s just fine. Perfectly fine. It’s not just Cas weighing on him but Cas is gone yet still out there. But away from him, and he’s feeling alienated from Cas, and Dean’s got this existential crisis about the meaning of his whole life, and he’s just not fine.

Domestic Sam and Eileen cooking together in the bunker kitchen and acting like they’ve been married for 15 years or so I CAN’T EVEN. Those moments of domesticity are important to give this story texture. It’s never going to be all about cooking in the bunker kitchen being adorable but these are complex characters with layers and whole lives and soft marshmallow centers underneath their harsh, monster-hunting shells and I LOVE IT.

Dean likes Eileen (and she made bacon, thus winning a thousand points) and the only point during these scenes Dean showed really any lightening of his burdens was seeing Sam and Eileen together and teasing Sam about her. He just wants Sam to be happy, and Sam is worried about Dean, and oh my heart *squishes them*. “That’s progress, right?” Sam tells Eileen all hopeful, because Dean went out on a hunt. Oh Sam, honey, Sam you know better than that but you want Dean to be okay as much as Dean is posturing to be okay so you’re trying to roll with it. Dean fleeing from his life into a hunt isn’t really a good sign though.

When Dean finds Lee, it’s the first time all season we’ve seen him all the way through happy. I’m not sure I’ve seen Dean look that kind of happy well...ever. My heart is SHATTERING HERE. It’s like this is the Dean that could be, if circumstances had been less brutal, if the monsters, and heaven, and hell, and God himself, had been less brutal, if his mom hadn’t died when he was four, if John had been well...not the way John was to him, and even with all that, the capability is still in Dean, that sense of joy in being alive, in being open.

This ep is kind of underscoring how important different kinds of relationships are. No matter how much I love the relationships of Team Free Will, none of them can be all the things for each other, even if it’s three instead of just two. Eileen and Sam’s rapport shows it in this ep and Dean’s rapport with Lee shows it. It doesn’t mean Cas and Sam are less important to Dean. And I think Dean and Cas really belong together and are suited, if they can climb over being their own worst enemies, and Sam and Dean are Sam and Dean, but Dean and Lee have their own thing too and it BREAKING MY HEART SEEING THIS.

Oooh Eileen makes her move and Sam seems interested and—-LOLOLOL Cas cockblocks Saileen.

Sam is so damn pissy about Cas not getting back to him I am loving it.

“Yeah, I got better.” This should be a crest on a stone shield over the bunker door at this point, everyone in it died at one point or another...but then they got better.

Cas IMMEDIATELY demanding “Where’s Dean?”

He’s so put out that Dean isn’t there akdlfjkl;asjg;lahf even though Cas doesn’t want to talk to him right now. WHERE’S DEAN. The song of the Castiel.

Dean assuming that Lee probably died after they lost touch because “I mean that’s how this usually ends” is the most hunter most sad thing ever.

But no he didn’t die, he retired and bought a bar, he’s living Dean’s Rocky’s Bar dream and everything hurts.

So Eileen realizes that whatever Sergei is planning to do about Sam’s God bullet wound is a bad idea, while Sam and Cas jump right in because they just want to get Chuck and of course it goes badly. This is peak Team Free Will dumbassery. Eileen is such a reasonable, sensible voice here but it doesn’t stop them.

Cas finally calls Dean on purpose because Sam is hurt, I mean nothing brings bickering husbands together like mutual worry over one of their kids. Also Cas is so distressed about Sam, maybe he wants Dean there, it’s almost not quite a flip on Dean praying to Cas needing Cas there personally when he’s scared for Sam.

“If you don’t help me tonight I will find you and burn you alive.” Fierce Cas protecting Sam. I’m all tingly.

So Dean asks Lee “who’s going to kill the bad guys”

“Somebody else” says Lee.

At first, Lee’s ideas about retirement sound like not a completely terrible idea, there is more to life than hunting, and maybe Dean should have the chance to explore that. Oh and it sounds like this friendship with Lee was something Dean had while Sam was an Stanford and I have so many thoughts on that, those years are left unfilled in by canon, we can only surmise and piece together. The idea that Dean was fully lonely the entire time, completely lost without his brother...maybe not so much. Much as it was also hard on Dean having Sam leave him and John behind so completely and I’m sure it hurt. But here’s the thing, they spent years apart, and both had their lives, and this look into a friendship from Dean’s past, while Sam had Jess...interesting. Again, gee it’s like more than one relationship in people’s lives matter.

Eileen looking after Sam who is suffering from a wound “down to his very soul.” Eileen’s worried little face. Cas’s worried face.

Okay okay I knew Lee could turn out to be evil, I knew that, I still shouted NOOOOOOOO. Figured ahead of time this ep could go one of three ways. 1. Djinn dream and Lee wasn’t real 2. Lee is real but good 3. Lee is real and was a friend but turns out to be a betrayer or a monster or dies (ooh fun times we went with a triumvirute on number 3)

I was actually getting annoyed at Cas for trusting Sergei in the first place but then Cas, the tactician, the smart ruthless angel, is holding a captive over Sergei. He knew Sergei might screw them over all along and was prepared.

Eileen pinning Sergei angrily up against the wall by his throat, threatening him for Sam’s sake. SAM THIS ONE IS A KEEPER.

Also Eileen reminds me a lot of Cas. They can both be soft but have this ruthless streak, this warrior fury that comes out.

Oh welp here we go, Lee let the darkness eat his heart. He wasn’t turned into a monster, and he doesn’t do it for greed, it just...ate him up, all he wanted, after his trauma, was some peace but there are costs too high and he gave up what was good about him to get some minor good fortune, his dream bar.

“If evil like that exists int he world, guys like you and me, we aren’t ever going to win”

“No one’s innocent”

“Are we owed a little happiness”

“Good or bad, the world doesn’t care. No one cares, Dean.”

So while Dean is facing this existential abyss about whether anything he’s done, all the trauma he’s gone through, had any meaning, because he found out God was outright manipulating events around him his whole life, on purpose, for entertainment, there’s his old friend, someone Dean clearly connected strongly with and cares about, spilling his own abyss out onto the table in front of Dean and the abyss in Lee is a lot darker and danker and rotted than Dean’s, and Dean’s the one who has to contend with actual freakin’ GOD screwing him over, personally, his whole life.

“Well I do.”

This is probably where I started crying during the episode, because of Dean. Because of all the trauma, all the losses, all the unimaginable horrors he’s faced, including his own inner demons, and he never gave up and he never lost his caring for the world and for others. He often doesn’t care much about himself but he never stopped CARING. And his spirit and his heart are as fierce and butt-kicking as his monster-fighting and hand-to-hand combat skills (I so enjoyed this bamf Dean fight scene) and that is why I love Dean SO SO MUCH.

*pauses to cry again*

“I am you. That woke up and saw the world was broken.” But Lee doesn’t know that Dean knows the world is broken. He knows eactly how broken the world is, how literally broken, that it’s just one of Chuck’s many drafts, and how uncaring Chuck the creator really is. It doesn’t get more world-breaking than that, and Dean knows, and IT DIDN’T BREAK DEAN. Lee’s projecting, he just can’t understand how someone who is like him, who’s witnessed horrors like what he’s witnessed, isn’t broken the way Lee is. But Dean is Dean, he isn’t Lee.

“Why do you care so much Dean?”

“Because someone has to.”

Oh hey because I haven’t made this post painful enough yet with Dean analysis, let’s take a look back at 2.20 What Is and What Should Never Be (transcript courtesy of superwiki)

“All of them. Everyone that you saved, everyone Sammy and I saved. They're all dead. And there's this woman, that's haunting me. I don't know why. I don't know what the connection is, not yet anyway. It's like my old life is, is coming after me or something. Like it like it doesn't want me to be happy. Course I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball but... "So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right?" But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? (begins to cry while talking) What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life, Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad?”

But Dean is way past this, he’s gone through that stage of questioning and come out the other side. He tells Lee nobody owes him anything. He isn’t owed a reward. He just cares because he does and that’s...well, that’s kind of how life is. As fans, we talk about what our favorites deserve, and of course they deserve some peace and happiness. But that’s not always how it works...still they can keep hoping and we can keep hoping for them. The story isn’t over.

Whereas Lee, when he asked those questions about “why us, why do we have to be the heroes” came out the other side completely broken and corrupt.

The way Dean’s eyes went dead inside when he had to stab Lee. Like a light went out in Dean as Lee died. The contrast between that and his light-hearted pure joy at seeing his old friend again. JUST STAB ME TOO OKAY

Oh my goodness Dean’s return to the bunker and that awkward awkward face to face with Cas and neither of them seems angry any more even but there’s so so much negative space between them and Dean seems like he wants to maybe bridge the gulf but now Cas shuts Dean out, cuts him off, and walks out of the room, a flip on what Dean was doing in eps 1-3 to Cas. And the STARING oh my god the staring. Despite their problems, despite everything, Dean and Cas have a powerful bond and bonds don’t have to be trouble free and perfect to be good ones. They’re going to fix this, if they can climb over their walls and their issues and find their joy together. Because they are both worth it. They are also similar. No matter what’s been thrown at them, how much suffering, how much trauma. Cas, like Dean, keeps getting back up, and hasn’t lost his caring. “Too much heart was always Castiel’s problem” and it’s actually Dean’s problem too and by problem, for them on this, we actually mean great big asset.

Both of them, Cas last week, and Dean this week, undergo something separately that shows them why they have to get back into the fight, and not run away from everything (or each other, I think, that’s tacit). “If I stay here nothing changes” Cas said in 15.06. Cas was able to prove to himself, for himself, that he could save people, that he wasn’t an entire failure, and Dean went through an experience in 15.07 that jolted him to connect with his own sense of caring again, to feel the meaning in who he is and what he does, and how much he cares. Despite Chuck’s nonsense, he still cares about everything, so much it hurts.

#Sam Winchester #Dean Winchester #Castiel #Eileen Leahy #Destiel #Saileen #Lee Webb #Sam and Dean: a work in progress #Sam and Cas #Dean and Lee #me x Dean feelings #spn #supernatural #supernatural spoilers #meta

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neven-ebrez · 6 years

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i see all your grieviances with s14 and i do get where you're coming from, but everything you see as negative and tiring i see it as... well, not positive, but not the worst thing that has happened. characters being in a stalemate is still much better than reversing back like what happened with s9. it is tiring, but i don't mind the waiting if i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. some got advantages in the race while others are still behind. have some patience, they'll get there.

Whoever sent this, I’d like to think we’ve probably talked before. And I’d like to agree with all the points you’ve made, the sentiment. My gut tells me as much... but like, I’m beyond weary, you know? I’ve been in the race for a long ass time. And to see people talk about the state of Destiel like it potentially isn’t very, very similar to what the meta community (and fandom) has already been through, what I personally have already been accused of for years…?? It’s like watching old history unfold into yet another heartbroken bloodbath.

And yeah we’ve come so far from S9 and the quick downward regression, but like… Dabb could still follow straight down Carver’s path (which didn’t end well for Cas fans). Dabb’s faced with a similar problem, prolonging the show past a certain “vision”, and is now being “forced” into the same “stalling route” as his predecessor. And I can tell he knows and doesn’t necessarily want it, given his past pacing decisions. But he has hit the proverbial turn signal just the same. There’s only two ways to go. You take the exit to loop back around or you take the exit after, the one that leads to the road that takes you home. I don’t think we’re quite heading home just yet.

And there’s so much I wanna say but can’t because of what I know that others don’t, what I’ve experienced that other meta writers haven’t, stuff I’ve heard with my own two ears from the people actually making the show. It’s… just different after stuff like this happens. It’s why I don’t actively write meta essays like I used to, on the subjects I used to, and especially not with the language I used to. I feel I simply can’t, knowing some of the things I do and also knowing how much that knowledge can quickly become useless anyway. I’m not interested in leading anyone on and so this is where I’m left.

When all is said and done, I just didn’t want to leave it at no one said just how badly, just how reductive everything could still go… It’s my own worry and my personal feelings, so I’m saying it now, even if it puts a damper on things for some people. Meta writers love to say, “It’s exactly what we’ve been saying!”, and “Look at all the times we were right!” (these are… not good things to say btw… I’d know because I used to say them, a lifetime before I ever talked to any writers or production staff, and I can say I regret them now). No one ever likes to say, “Oh, man, was I fucking wrong as hell here.” But that was me after 9x03 aired and I personally had to face the part I played in the Destiel fandom’s disappointment. Because I thought I knew then what I was talking about. But I didn’t know shit. I… misjudged. Hordes of people left fandom after that as Carver took an exit I don’t think anyone was really prepared for in order to “buy time”. And I was left to explain to those that remained exactly what was happening (a mirror-filled narrative of lovers separated by duty that was painted against a rape metaphor that is, still, today, the worst thing Supernatural has ever done to its brand imo) because I was like, the only structural Destiel meta writer left standing.

I looked… delusional, having to point out what was happening to other characters to figure out and explain how Sam, Dean, and Cas all felt (because the narrative was coding itself to where this was necessary to try and understand what was even happening at times, since the characters were all either lying or saying the “wrong things”!), what we were *actually* dealing with, whether the Destiel narrative still existed as a structural romantic thing or not. Not everyone agreed, but I felt I was right in my analysis then, still do; the show is forever written a certain way (tho narrative mirrors do not a textual and tangible narrative make!), but my expectations… they had shifted. The shift remains, still, along with a pestering voice that will never go away, “But what if?”

It’s the reason I only deal in the tangible, textual narrative now, or, at least when it comes to discussing Dean and Cas. I’ve learned the hard way that nothing else matters. Because the truth is it doesn’t.

Supernatural’s narrative structure is a structure I’ve studied more closely than perhaps any other pro-Destiel meta writer past or present. Almost everyone that has come before me has left. Few remain. I don’t know many who write “meta” now. Do they even know the structural writers that came before me? (Flutie? Sara?) I don’t know this either, most of their stuff has been wiped from this blue hellscape. That I do know. And no one writes sourced essays anymore, especially ones at great length, that aren’t just a speckling of themes and musings that often contradict one another.

Hell, I might be the last one still writing from the “golden age of meta” on tumblr, back from the surgence of S8. And while I wouldn’t say everything in the structure is *exactly* as before (there’s been significant textual gains over the mirror narrative, what’s actually needed before the end), but I do see things now taking a similar route as they did then, especially if by the mid season finale point Dabb has Michael!Dean kill the ailing and seemingly finally killable Jack. Depending on how it’s written, Jack’s death could set Dean back a lot, like… A LOT. He’d see it as him finally becoming his father, the best of intentions to protect gone very, very wrong.

Maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe that won’t happen.

I hope I’m wrong anyway, but I don’t think I am.

Impatient as I am for the end, because I don’t want the detour I fear we are about to take (and I do want to talk about the finished product when we get it finally!), and as much as I appreciate the reassurance, I don’t say any of this needing it. I appreciate it nevertheless. I’m more confident in my opinions now, where before I was blindly, carelessly optimistic in both language and outlook. I simply want to remind people of the truth: we’ve been here before, it didn’t end well then and I doubt it will end well now (here, in the present), for everyone who is left…. so please, PLEASE manage your character development expectations, especially those that are tied into hope for text over Destiel. Jokes about being joined “at the everything” aren’t good for anything, no more than Crowley saying to Dean that he’s like his mistress, because he’s “cheating on Sam” with him. In fact, I’d argue it’s reductive. I don’t think I’d be alone in that.

The things they need to do to pull the Destiel narrative into text…the writers aren’t doing, but it very much is tied into the stalling tactic Dabb has chosen nonetheless. Dean *has* to get past the ghost, the trauma of John Winchester. That’s first. Everything else is after. I doubt we’ll even be that far this season. You’ll know when/if a textual Destiel narrative starts to happen. I’d like to think the windup will become obvious (hint: they’ll actually have scenes together). But wherever we are, with Dean’s last developmental hurdle (as decided by Dabb with S14) and Cas’ need for Heaven closure still staring us in the faces as more proverbial unboiled water left on the stove, we’re just not there yet. And please remember, there’s always room for this to be a tragedy. People always seem to forget that.

Maybe not the meta history lesson you were looking for (which honestly has nothing to do with me separately finding the narrative slow and boring), but thanks for coming by anyway.

#Anonymous #ask zerbe #meta writing #9x03 for ts #9x03 mention for ts #queerbaiting for ts #destiel for ts #these two #end of the road #long post for ts #meta writing history #it’s no secret that i dont care for what the meta community has become #but please be aware that attitude and language over these harsh truths are things that are important #another mirror proves nothing #what the GA says means nothing #ratings mean nothing #i know because these are the things i used to talk about before coming to realize supernatural isn’t writing by these rules #i don’t know if there’s anyone left who actually cares what i have to say #because i’m not saying what’s strictly positive or otherwise popular #but i’d like to think my opinion is one steeped in a deep understanding of the history of the show #an opinion of caution because i still care when people are disappointed #even when i come across as harsh or otherwise mocking #it’s not without a lack of heart #for what matters #this needs a read more but i’m on mobile so i’ll have to add it later

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semirahrose · 7 years

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Part1:Hi!  I’m new to the fandom and reading fics and I keep on coming across this theme or idea that Sam has in the past/always leaves Dean and I’m just really confused where that idea comes from? I binge-watched the whole show in the space of a few months so I might’ve missed something but I honestly can’t think of a single time when Sam left Dean. Running away as a kid and then going to college was about leaving the life, not Dean. And it’s pretty obvious that its John’s ultimatum that led

Part2: to Sam having no contact with his family during those years. Going with Ruby was about killing Lilith and stopping the apocalypse and even then he begged Dean to come with him. Leaving in the beginning of S5 was him not trusting himself to hunt. Leaving after he found out about Amy is him needing space to deal and mourn because he was so understandably angry with Dean that he couldn’t even talk to him but he never said or did anything to give the impression that he meant for it to be a

Part3: permanent separation. Aaaaannnd I can’t think of anything else. These are the only times that I can think of that might’ve fueled this idea of “Sam leaves Dean” but none of them are actually about leaving Dean. I get that Dean sees himself as the job, like it’s who he is, not what he does, and that maybe to him Sam leaving the life and leaving him are pretty much the same thing but … that doesn’t make it true? Sam’s reasons are clearly stated in canon so why are there so many fics that

Part4: just go with this idea or theme even when the story isn’t exclusively Dean’s POV? Why is this non-existent mythical notion taken as a given like it’s actually canon? What am I missing here?

Your analysis is lovely and thoughtful. The answer to your question is that you are missing nothing. Too many viewers take Dean’s feelings of abandonment (real feelings but not at all justified) and accept them as fact. They call Sam cruel, angry, dark, and selfish because other people have called Sam that (and realizing that none of them are backed up by fact takes sifting through canon and comparing Sam’s actual actions against the consistent and recurring accusations).

Unless someone is already interested or invested in Sam, there’s no reason to do any of those things. For very good reasons, we as viewers accept a lot of the things we read in fiction, because one of the most basic unspoken agreements between creator and reader is that readers will accept the world as it is portrayed and suspend their disbelief until they are given reason not to. Normally, that’s perfect and appropriate. When the writing is consistent and responsible, readers/viewers don’t need to go back and pore over canon.

When the writing is inconsistent or irresponsible, though, that habit turns out to be a bad thing. Because viewers trust that the show will treat them respectfully, many of them accept what the show tells them without really questioning it.

But the show’s narration is hugely unreliable and has never been acknowledged as such. I’ve gotten used to it and always watch the show critically, but many viewers have no reason to. Unless the characters who are being treated badly are characters they’re particularly invested in, why would they?

So… in short, you are absolutely correct and you have missed nothing. Thanks for the message!

#narrative bias #wank for ts #i mean not really but there's an element of criticism so i will use this tag so people can easily blacklist my salty self #sam winchester #show critical #anonymous #semirah replies

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jodiwalker · 7 years

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The Best Things Happening on Game of Thrones Right Now

If the current season of Game of Thrones is fan service, then consider me — a fan — serviced, and sign me up, baby. We've been through the hard stuff, we deserve this. This series has finally broken through the stratosphere of TV criticism and into the land of pure joy where Arya can be both a raging lil' sociopath and a beloved protagonist.

So this is neither a review nor a recap, a critique nor a thoughtful analysis influenced by my superior status as a "book-reader." Instead, it is the most advanced of all literary art forms: a list of I've been tickled by in the first two episodes of season 7. The best things happening on Game of Thrones right now definitively are:

Very Silly Reveals That Are Supposed to Change the Game (of Thrones) But Are Kind of Just Really Obvious Solutions

1. There's a Shit Ton of Dragon Glass at…Dragonstone

Of all the things I expected out of this season—reunions, rifts, Cersei dramatically guzzling wine, Arya masked-murderin', Dany sittin' on thrones, hopefully the glorious return of Gendry's biceps—I never anticipated quite this much focus on igneous rocks. Jon Stark's laser focus on digging up dragon glass is starting to sound like a Goop newsletter, and it's not that I wouldn't subscribe (imagine: the fur recs! the tips for sultry lashes! the straightforward syntax without any annoying exclamation points!), it's just all a little more plainly sated than I expected. Jon calls, like, eight Big Chamber Meetings to tell all the Northern elders, plus Lil' Lyanna Mormont that their number one priority is to find dragon glass because it's the only thing they can create weapons out of in mass to kill white walkers. Those meetings go a little something like this:

Jon: How are we gonna kill white walkers?!

Northerners: DRAGONGLASS!

Jon: And where are we gonna find it?!

Sam, from Oldtown: AT—AND YOU'RE REALLY NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS—DRAGONSTONE!

[Ed. note: I've edited out the regular interruptions from Sansa that give me extreme conflicting emotional anxiety, but we'll get to those later in the "So You're Co-Ruling with Your Half-Sister Who's Actually Your Cousin and She's Recently Developed a Mind of Her Own After Surviving Extreme Trauma" section.]

Sending Sam to Oldtown to train as a maester is like the coconut oil/Franks RedHot of Westeros: that shit works on everything. At the Citadel, Sam begins scooping soup, souping poop (in a scene I would have exchanged for an hour-long loop of gruesome murders), and most importantly, sneaking into the restricted section of the library like some sort of chubby lovechild between Voldemort and Harry Potter. He even gets shut down by Jim Broadbent (aka Archmaester Marwyn, absolutely killing the wise, gives-no-shits maester game) and sneaks in anyway. And what did Samwell find in the restricted section?

Well, Sam steals maybe five books and finds the exact answer he needs, plus one he didn't even know he should be looking for—more on that in a minute.

And you know what? That's kind of dumb and unrealistic, but Sam deserves this. He's had a tough life and his dad is a jerk that wanted to kill him and his brother is (well, used to be) the hot guy from Unreal, and everyone shits on him all the time even though he is legitimately the nicest person alive in their godforsaken, feces infested world — dude has earned finding the solution to saving mankind after exactly 10 minutes of cozy reading with his cute wildling life partner and their ageless baby.

So, Sam finds out (via a super lame picture that Jaime could have drawn with his strong hand) that there's a big ol' dragon glass mine at—you're not going to believe this—Dragonstone. All they've gotta do is dig it up. Well, and, y'know, get past Daenerys Targaryen, heir of Dragonstone who recently arrived on its sandy, glass-filled shores. And that other thing that Sam found?

2. The Cure for Greyscale is Just…Peeling Off the Greyscale

Well, no fucking shit, Sam. I mean, listen, I know I was just singing the kid's praises, but it's pretty crazy to act like you just found the magical cure for Greyscale in your magical secret books when that cure is…peeling off the Greyscaled skin and then putting a bunch of medieval Neosporin on it. But whatever, it's really sweet that Sam wants to help Jorah Mormont so badly because of his affection for Lord Commander Mormont and is willing to flay him to save his life (and definitely give himself Greyscale with the way he's using those gloves). So go ahead, Sam, peel off that Greyscale in your secret Dr. Pimple sessions—your solution might be obvious, but at least it's not dumb, dumb, dumb…

3. The Dragon Feller That's Just…a Crossbow

So, John is concerned with defeating the white walkers because, y'know, strong moral fiber and a her survivor's guilt complex and all that. But Cersei is mainly concerned with defeating anyone who would try to take the Iron Throne from her that she didn't already blow up with magic fire. And that means she's got to look alive about the tiny blonde Targaryen heading her way who's bringing, along with her legitimate claim to the throne, her three big ass dragons that were, coincidentally, born from a magic fire.

It's going to take something big to defeat those dragons. Something magical. Something much more powerful than even wildfire. Something like…

A BIG ASS CROSSBOW, BABY! Yeah, that will be great for killing dragons — if the dragons are sitting still, 1,000 years old, and already dying peacefully of natural causes. It's okay, Qyburn. They can't all be skull-crushing Frankenzombies held together by Husky R' Us armor level ideas, buddy.

Arya and Her Whole Thing

I remember when How to Get Away With Murder premiered there were a bunch of think pieces that were all, Finally! A Female Anti-Hero for Us to Love Just Like All Those Dude Anti-Heroes We Loved on A&E and HBO! Of course, no one loved Viola Davis' anti-hero like they loved Walter White because people don’t like to love flawed women like they like to love flawed men (and the show's not as good, but Viola is). And so, when Arya gave the best revenge performance of all time at the top of the season 7 premiere, there were a bunch of (to be fair, legitimate) articles that were all Should We Really Be Rooting for Arya? Is Arya a Sociopath Now? Arya Sure Looked like She Wanted to Kill Ed Sheeran, an Innocent Soldier, Who We Will Tell You Later How WE'D Like to Kill, But for Different Totally Valid Reasons.

So let me just say, yes! Arya is a probably a semi-psychopathic now, and yes! We should be rooting for her. She is but a simple mercenary setting out to avenge the death of her loved ones using humble blood magic. Yes, she killed Walder Frey, and yes, she fed him to his sons, and yes she then skinned him and wore his face in order to poison all those sons who she had just fed a pie made out of their dad, but you know what she also did…spared the women who hadn’t done anything wrong except be born into that nasty family. And yes she maybe only spared them to have this bad ass parting line, delivered with just perfect level-headed menace by Maisy Williams: "When people ask you what happened here — tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey."

But she is Arya and I love her, and I support her in anything she does…unless she kills any of the characters I like, in which case I will have to write some think pieces.

Sibling Dramzzz: Stark Edition

And speaking of Starks you have to keep your eye on, Sansa and Jon are having kind of a hard time co-parenting the North, and that's probably because people just loooove putting Jon in charge, even though Sansa should kind of technically be in charge, the only problem is, that Sansa's so annoying. Now, Sansa has made large strides toward being less annoying. But for every two steps forward (occasionally telling Lord Baelish to go fuck himself, knowing about war, not being a moralizing idealist), she interrupts Jon six times in their council meetings and tells him how stupid he is.

And listen, I get it — I have siblings. No one knows you better, and no one knows they know you better. When someone acts like they understand you better than you understand yourself, and worse, they're probably right, it can be trying. When Sansa tells Jon that he's going to get his head chopped off like his virtuous father and brother before him, she's not necessarily, but she is annoying. In a made-up world with dragons and child-sacrifice and, like, constant incest that's often not very relatable, I find this Jon and Sansa stuff frustratingly relevant.

The complexity of familial bonds is a language that spans universes (I mean, I guess that's ignoring the thing I just said about near-constant incest), so when Sansa says just the right bratty thing — "Joffrey never let anyone question his decisions, do you think he was a good king?" — to set Jon off, or when Jon and Sansa get on the same page about something, then he immediately changes his mind and announces it at the dinner table, so she questions his decision in front of all their gossipy cousins…it's normal family stuff, just at much higher, head-chopping stakes.

My great fear is that the tentative but often sweet partnership these two eldest "children" of Ned Stark have formed will somehow be ruined by Littlefinger. So boyyyyyy was it gratifying when Jon choked his old ass out when he was all I wanted to fuck your step-mom and now I want to fuck your half-sister, just thought I'd tell you that right here in front of your dead dad's crypt. And mannnnn was it concerning when Sansa backed down from publicly challenging Jon about his decision to leave the North and sale to Dragonstone the moment she learned he was leaving her in charge of the North in his absence, then immediately looked to Littlefinger for…what? Approval? Guidance? Shared joy? None are great options.

Just get though this Jon and Sansa — I promise you’ll be best friends when you’re adults!

Sibling Dramzzz: Greyjoy Edition

Yo, this family is Messed! Up! Theon jumped off a ship rather than risk saving his sister Yara from their super-pirate uncle who's now taking Yara, Ellaria, and the last remaining Sand Snake, Tyene as his gift to Cersei which will totally make her want to marry him so he can be king, I guess, and not just of his raggedy salt islands.

It will never not be distracting how much Euron looks like Pacey though. If Pacey had a run-in with an H&M clearance rack and the entire smoky eye section of Sephora.

Sibling Dramzzz: Lannister Edition

And speaking of Cersei's current romantic status: Jaime is giving her a looooot of side-eye because she's, y'know, terrible. But she is doing a really fun thing this season where she's constantly recapping how much she hates everyone while subconsciously remaining us how much everyone hates her in return. While roaming around her Etsy map of Westeros, Cersei tells Jaime: "Enemies to the east. Enemies to the south: Ellaria Sand and her brood of bitches. Enemies to the west: Olenna, the old cunt, another traitor. Enemies to the North: Ned Stark's bastard has been named King of the North, and that murdering whore Sansa stands beside him. Enemies everywhere, we're surrounded by traitors!"

Girl, anymore zingers and maybe a concluding paragraph, and they'll give you a byline at Vulture. It is my one true hope that Jaime will realize his sister is insane and kill her before she kills him or Tyrion.

Everything Lil' Lyanna Mormont Does

I don't care if it's Disney-Channel-level precocious, I don't care if they're just giving us more of what we want…actually, I do care. Give me more of what I want! And what I want is the Lil'est Lady of Bear Island repeatedly telling a bunch of giant grizzled dudes to STFU. "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me," she says when it's proposed that girls should be trained to fight in the war to come. "I might be small and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you. And I don't need your permission to defend the North." Yes, my tiny queen! I don't know if they heard you in the back, but at this point in time, just about every major house in the realm is run by a woman And speaking of…

Jon and Dany Said Each Other's Names and Hopefully That Will All Be Fine

That's it, that's all I needed. Now they can either become best friends or fall in incestuous Targaryen love, there is no other option.

Images: HBO; BlondieTVJunkie/tumblr

#game of thrones #game of thrones recap #episode 7.1 #episode 7.2

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floralmotif · 7 years

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I'm not sure if you've written about this before, but I was curious as to how you think John regarded Sam and Dean when they were children. Who was his favorite? Who did he abuse more? Was Sam completely safe from John's abuse because of Dean? Who do you think he was more emotionally invested in? I guess what I'm mainly asking is how different were Sam and Dean's childhoods from each other?

Ah muffins, I had part of this written out and forgot to save it to drafts. Oh well, hopefully this will be more coherent than the last one anyway. Coffee, do the thing.

I did have a previous statement that sort of addressed this information a little https://floralmotif.tumblr.com/post/159194818777/sam-his-view-of-dean

The brother’s relationship is definitely interesting, especially concerning their dad. Ready to dive into the joyful land of content warnings and sadness?? Great!

Content warnings btdubs… child abuse and neglect…Talking about this topic isn’t easy because it is fairly complicated. I don’t really subscribe to painting things in black and white most of the time. My basic interpretation of John is that he did love his kids and he never intended to do them harm, but he did. Extensive.. cycling harm.. if they play “Will the circle be unbroken” by the end of the season, you’ll be able to detect my screaming by radar.

The sitch gets complicated further by the fact that Dean is heavily framed as Sam’s parent. Specifically his mother. He exhibits a lot of behavior that is associated with mothers of children who are abused by their spouse, trying to protect their child by being in the way and crafting a sort of reality for them to simulate something close to normal in their lives. He has also taken on the role of parent in that he was generally much more present for Sam growing up than John was. He wasn’t really allowed to have a childhood because of the way his life was set up by John. He was told by John to always put Sammy first and to protect him. Dean was basically a background entity for John. He existed to perpetuate Sam and his own feelings were neglected. When Sam and John didn’t get along, Dean was there to deflect the fighting. Dean’s support of Sam basically made him his first child. He was so smart, motivated and more aware of the initial situation. He eventually learned to want out because he was encouraged to think for himself. Dean was not taught this way, and when they went off to find their Dad again, they really “went to find him again”. Him and his influence. Sam lost his agency in that influence. Dean’s was already gone.

The song “Because of you” by Kelly Clarkson is a pretty accurate assessment of Dean’s takeaway from John, interestingly. There are piles of fan videos on youtube that point it out.. like this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtddeCGKl90

Hoo boy…

None of the above was Sam’s fault, obviously. He grew up in that situation already established and he had few outside influences even after he started seeking them out(hell, he has few consistent ones now). When he did find them, he was torn from them. Really, they all were. It’s one of the things that prevented Dean and Sam from really learning what “normal” was in a familial sense. They both grew up in situations that were often life or death, and in Dean’s case, he or Sam. He didn’t even really grow up with himself as an option. It was always for Sam.. and Sam growing up with Dean essentially being his parent, he would do the same for him.

No wonder they’re always sacrificing for each other. That’s what they learned from their respective “roles”.

Really, everything they do makes sense if you interpret them as parent and child in my opinion. But feel free to interpret them however you like. My interpretation feeds into the rest of my analysis though, so keep that in mind.

From what I’ve been able to glean from watching the show, Sam was definitely John’s favorite. In many ways, John treated Dean as though he was lesser. He basically treated Dean as an extension of himself and projected a lot of his nonsense onto him. His doubt about the world, his cynicism, his need to keep Sam safe, his self loathing.. and all that that implies… it’s framed at times that Dean suffered some physical abuse from John and Dean did everything he could to prevent the same thing happening to Sam even at his own expense.. Dark Side of the Moon is one of the instances where we’re shown how Dean’s crafted reality affected him and Sam separately. He crafted it so well, Sam didn’t even think about how his absence may have affected the dynamic.

Dean tried to create a world for Sam where none of that stuff existed. It was his duty to protect Sam from everything: Monsters, John and his own feelings. Not even he saw the extent of it at the time. He only really seems to be starting to see it now.

This show does something brilliant(and at times painful) with its premise. It really didn’t have a choice in the matter if it wanted to be good, but it did it very well.

Rule of media monsters: Monsters represent aspects of humanity that we are afraid of and block out to other. Vampires, werewolves, witches, zombies, etc. They all connect to aspects of humanity and what about us we’re afraid of. What we don’t want to admit about our reality, what we don’t want to address because they scare us. Those aspects of the human experience that are stigmatized.

Sound familiar? Sound maybe like what Dean and Sam do with their feelings? It should.

Where did they learn that from?

Yep. John… well, Dean from John, and it sort of rolled over into Sam. All of the mantras Dean gave him in the early seasons are starting to come to light now. They’re being revealed as black and white, unsustainable, overly simplified and unhealthy. The co-dependency, the imbalance between humans and monsters, the “just world” idea that all monsters are inherently evil and must be destroyed, etc. All of those things are breaking down and at this point, Dean has noticed, but Sam hasn’t or he avoids them directly. Sam has resigned to these things as truth because not doing so would mean he had a choice before.

I think Sam really wants agency, he always has and it’s always been an important part of his character, but his life has told him to fear it. Both he and Dean grew up in and have experienced lives of limited agency. Sam especially had pretty much all of his ideals thrust upon him(on screen. Dean pretty much had them so early, we only see him learning them in flashbacks). He was told they were the only choices. He went to Standford and learned a new choice, but was pulled right back into the old mantras. Again, not really Dean’s fault. Dean was just operating on the “good soldier/mom role he had been given. He didn’t really have agency either.

Over time the two have learned more about agency, but only one has really been given the opportunity to explore it: Dean. That’s really what Cas is for him in a lot of ways. He’s a representation of “ideals” and his presence and connection to Dean kind of forces both of them to explore what that means. Sam doesn’t really get a direct outside force with a great connection that allows him to branch out.(this is probably on purpose at this point so they can have a counterpoint) His main connection to anything has been Dean, and Dean is still operating in the augmented reality he built to protect Sam even if he’s starting to breach it. Even as it’s breached, Sam is so deep in that reality, that he barely sees it. And Dean is understandably afraid to fully breach it. It has implications for Sam too. Implications Dean is probably afraid Sam would blame himself for.

This season is starting to address “Sam’s wall” and Dean’s ability to contain the version of himself that he had crafted is breaking down. Lucifer is a holdover of the “old” the looming ghost of John Winchester that darkens the lives of the Winchester’s and stagnates their relationship, stagnates the show.

Interestingly, the greatest influence besides Dean that Sam has had in years is his mother. She is a powerful representation of the old goals and truths of the show. A promise to get out and to silence the lambs. The one thing John said he wanted that has turned around and given him hope. Her coming back to life means that the ideal world that John dreamed of could be a reality, but just like the BMoLs, that ideal is badly informed, near sighted and unsustainable.

I’m guessing in the next few eps, the ideals of both Sam and Dean will start to merge to “a better way” and they can both learn to reconcile their past to embrace the future. To embrace those aspects of themselves they are afraid of and have tried to other.

#character analysis #dean is sam's mom #feelings for everyone #sams wall #embracing new ideals #its time for humanity to embrace those aspects of itself it's afraid of #agency for sammy #spn and agency #hopefully this makes sense #john winchester's pervasive ass ghost #spn meta #my meta #child abuse cw #neglect cw

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