Photos: 1. Blossoms on I think the plum tree, taken on film; 2. Jake Oettinger grappling with Miro Heiskanen while Jason Robertson and Roope Hintz look on; 3. Flowers and shadows at midnight.

Child development/Dad-thoughts for Season 2 Episode 8???

Poor little guy.  He has to be so terrified and traumatized by the time we see him again - ripped away from his father by scary bad droids, threatened by Gideon and his scary black sword, weakened from using his powers and blood loss, and we don’t even know if he was awake for any medical procedures that surely would have involved his autonomy, personhood, and fears being completely ignored let alone scary ouchy needles/medical tools.  It’s hard to gauge how he’s doing since we don’t have the entire picture of what he experienced, although we can assume it had to be terrifying.  But when we see him again, he’s patiently sitting by Gideon, apparently having complete faith that Dad will come save him and defeat the bad guy.

I do feel this episode hugely dropped the ball by not showing us Grogu being reunited with Din once Gideon is defeated and Din unshackles him.  It’s such an important missing piece - last we saw Grogu was so terrified he was giving in the Dark Side and harming stormtroopers, then he’s sitting (I infer) paralyzed with fear/scared enough to be quiet and still because of Gideon, and next we see he’s tucked in Din’s arms again.  How was he feeling to be reunited with his dad?  Did Din comfort and reassure him (it would be ooc for Din not to at this point imo)?  Did he feel better knowing that Dad came for him after all?  Sure, we can infer all that, but it’s a big emotional beat that should’ve been present because it impacts The Big Grogu Moment we get later:  Grogu choosing to go with Luke.

I’m not gonna lie, I was really surprised the show went this direction since it seemed like they were setting up Din choosing to keep Grogu as his own and I have my reservations about the story going this way tbh.  But I think Luke taking Grogu (for now) does work.

Season 2 Grogu is a much happier, well-adjusted, and more mature child than Season 1 Grogu.  Season 1 Grogu was quiet, subdued; he had moments of comfort or testing limits but overall generally made himself less noticeable and was hesitant to indicate his needs or wants to anyone, even Din.  Season 2 Grogu is a much more average child; he knows he can indicate what he needs to Din and it will be provided for, even something as the simple emotional comfort of uppies; he chatters more often and isn’t afraid to be more curious, more defiant, and just express himself.  In Season 1 Grogu didn’t even ask for food - probably thinking he’d be ignored - he just caught that frog by himself; Season 2 Grogu has a loving dad who tells him “I see you’re hungry, we’ll get you some food.”  Season 1 Grogu generally just follows Din around, not wanting him out of his sight but rarely requesting interaction until the end of the season but waiting for it to be offered instead; Season 2 Grogu is always running to Din the second he needs anything.  Does trauma magically go away?  No, Grogu is still affected.  But he’s clearly healing and growing under Din’s care, and having a stable adult in the child’s life is one of the biggest things that can reduce a child being affected by Adverse Childhood Experiences.

Grogu seems to know who Luke is, or at least recognize him as a Jedi.  My guess is he did connect with Luke during the Scotty Beam Me Up scene.  So it’s not like a stranger showed up to take him away, this is someone he has “met” and “talked to”.  And since Grogu has the Force, he can sense for sure that this is a nice person and someone who truly can teach him, which eliminates some of the guesswork you usually get when a kid meets their new teacher/a stranger.  So while it looks to Din like some random guy just showed up for his kid, there was more stuff going on below the surface that Din (and the audience) didn’t really see because It’s The Force.  So it isn’t like Grogu is being sent off with the first strange Jedi who rolls up (like on Corvus).

Grogu certainly doesn’t act afraid of Luke or anything other than friendly.  The only issue is separating from his beloved dad.  Grogu will not go unless the person he loves and trusts most in the entire world says it’s okay for him to do so.  He goes up to the screen and almost seems like he wants Din to look and show him “This is an okay guy.  Look he kills things just like you, Dad.” before pointing and trying to get the adults to open the door.  And I definitely got the impression Grogu is calling or otherwise trying to commune with Luke through the Force, telling him “Hey we’re on the bridge, come save us and meet my Dad.”  So Grogu is open and willing to start interacting with Luke - as long as it’s okay with Din.  (And Din in turn trusts Grogu enough to open the doors when Grogu says it’s cool, this guy is okay.)

The #1 thing that makes Luke taking Grogu work for me is that everyone’s consent is involved.  Grogu may be a small child who still needs an adult guardian and guidance in his life but that doesn’t mean he should be carted around without taking his feelings into consideration.  This isn’t like a few episodes ago, where Din tried to hand Grogu over without really seeing if Grogu or Ahsoka were okay with it.  Luke addresses Grogu directly and treats him like a person, accepting that Grogu needs to be involved in this decision; Luke also addresses Din’s worries and even speaks up on Grogu’s behalf (”He wants your permission”).  Grogu is clearly open to the idea of going with Luke - if he didn’t want to, Luke would certainly say so - but also wants to make sure Din is okay with it.  And while Din balks at first, once he realizes that Luke can offer Grogu the training he can’t, he gives Grogu permission to go and even gives him a special good-bye so that Grogu knows how much he means to Din.  And the face-touch seemed to me, at least, to be Grogu saying, Don’t worry Dad, it’s okay to try and reassure him.  And Din tells him in turn “Don’t be afraid.”  The separation is hard, but Din and Grogu both realize that Grogu needs to be trained to use his powers safely.  They’re willing to do what’s right, even when it’s hard, which takes a lot of emotional maturity.  Grogu has certainly grown indeed.

Realistically this probably should’ve taken a lot more time - Din going with Luke to help transition Grogu - but 1. this is a tv show and 2. this is still better than small children usually get in media anyway, since people tend to lump anyone under age 5 as “cute and/or annoying prop for the adult characters.”  Also, we the audience know Luke (the real one, not the OOC Rian Jackoff version).  We know Luke is compassionate and kind and will take good care of Grogu.  If Grogu is troubled by leaving his beloved dad, Luke will do his best to guide Grogu through it, and I personally think that if Grogu ultimately decided this wasn’t for him and wanted Dad?  Luke would pack him up in the X-wing and fly him right to Din.  So ymmv but Luke training Grogu works for me and I think Grogu is in good hands.

I don’t wanna super go into The Discourse but since I know it’s gonna come up in the fandom and since I am a big Jedi fan, I’ll briefly address the whole No Attachments/Jedi Attitudes thing:

No Attachments refers to No Possessiveness, not You Can’t Love Anyone.  The Jedi don’t discourage compassion and love and even family ties, just the whole I’d Commit Genocide For My Loved One (looking at you, Anakin).  This post specifically refutes the comments Filoni made in the Making the Mandalorian show and goes into it way better than I could, if you’re interested.  I’ll just pull out this George Lucas quote: “But [Anakin] has become attached to his mother and he will become attached to Padme and these things are, for a Jedi, who needs to have a clear mind and not be influenced by threats to their attachments, a dangerous situation.”  So Grogu loving and caring about Din isn’t an issue - it’s only an issue when he’s willing to harm and endanger others over it (like choking Cara) or when he becomes so afraid he lashes out without thinking (the stormtrooper free-for-all).

Which is why it’s so important Grogu be trained by someone who knows and understands the power he has.  Even if Grogu still decides not to be a Jedi, he needs to know how to control himself and his power so he doesn’t hurt anyone.

Jedi are allowed contact with family and embrace their original cultures as shown throughout Star Wars media.  There’s no reason to think Luke will snatch Grogu and never let him and Din see each other again even if Luke did follow the prequel Jedi completely (which he didn’t in Legends anyway, which honestly makes more sense to me since so much Jedi knowledge was lost/destroyed by the Empire).

People have always been allowed to leave the Jedi Order.  If Grogu or Din decide “Nope, can’t do this, I want him back” Luke would 100% support them making a decision that works for both of them.

We follow Anakin and Revan because they’re interesting characters and because conflict makes good stories.  The Jedi Order didn’t work for them but most Jedi seem pretty well-adjusted so... I don’t tend to think Anakin is really the baseline we should be going by, y’know?  Grogu has past trauma but he’s been with people who care for him and listen to him.  And not to knock Din at all, but Luke being able to communicate with Grogu is a huge advantage and will actually probably be really good for Grogu.  So I think Grogu is in good hands and won’t be Ruined Forever by training as a Jedi.

And of course Din says they’ll meet again.  He promised.  (And Din & Grogu are Disney’s chief moneymaking duo these days, you want to make your audience worry about your dream team, not break them up permanently.)  So I think Grogu will be reunited with his beloved dad.  And while the parting was certainly heartbreaking, for now he’s in good hands who will help him continue to grow and thrive.

A Return From Dark Waters, Part 1

To preface this piece: it takes place after the end of the Dinner.  Evangeline has been adjusting to Irene, a new personality who has become the foremost personality in the body of Iris.  This won’t be the last one! Several more to come until this section is complete! 

Written by @iris-ymir​ & myself!  

The sound of the hammer rang out through the forge as Evangeline struck at the spikes of the wrought iron gate for one last time. She dropped the hammer onto the table with a resounding thud, and took a look at her craftsmanship. This project had been at least twice the undertaking she had expected it to be. Not only had she needed to acquire the materials, forge the gate itself, and assemble the blasted thing, but she could see now that trying to carry it out to set it into the wall would be a project in its own right. That, though, she would have to handle tomorrow. She was drenched in sweat, smelled to high heavens, and was probably covered in soot, if the appearance of her hands and arms were any indication of the overall state of her body. She pulled a rag from her tool belt, and wiped the sweat from her forehead once again. A glance at the now black cloth was indication enough that there may now be one clean spot on her face, but the rest of it was probably a mess. She removed her heavy blacksmith’s apron, hanging it on one of the wall hooks across from the doorway to the small, comfortable forge. Repeating the process with her tools and her toolbelt, she doused the fire and walked outside, closing the door behind her with a push of her heel and locking it. Sighing with relief, she felt the cool air roll over her, almost immediately eliciting a shiver as the sweat coating her body turned cold. Now was definitely time for a bath.

Evangeline quietly entered Blacksoul Manor through the back way, pushing the door slowly so that it didn’t creak. She reminded herself for the umpteenth time to oil the hinges, or the manor’s residents would wake the whole of Ishgard without realizing it. It was a bit later than she had wanted to finish working...but she at least had finished working. Letting the door fall shut behind her, she looked around for a lantern, a torch...something to help her navigate the now darkened hallways of the manse without disturbing Irene or Arsene. It could very well be that they were in bed at this hour, and waking someone was the last thing she wanted to do tonight. She gave up the search, unable to locate a source of light in the gloom of the mansion’s threshold. Best to proceed carefully, then. She started down the hallway towards the bathroom, eager to rid herself of the grime of a hard day of work, but still trying to stay careful. It wasn’t long, though, before she bumped into something. A slight, waifish figure, a body belonging to a woman she knew all too well at this point. Eva’s arm reached out instinctively, catching the small woman before she had a chance to stumble backwards.

“I’m sorry!” she intoned, trying to look Irene in the eyes as her vision adjusted to the darkness.

“I can hardly see in here...and there wasn’t a lantern by the back door. I was just going for a bath...would you like to join me? I’ve probably gotten some soot on you at this point…” Evangeline scratched the back of her head nervously.

Irene ran her fingertips on the old, well-worn wallpaper. Years ago, it had been bright red, with a well detailed blue pattern running on it. But now? After the years, the bright red had faded like memories, now appearing as dark crimson, like last drops of lifeblood, escaping from the wounds of the dying. The blue details had faded almost completely, and it was impossible to tell how it had once appeared. These walls had seen so much tragedy. Irene could almost hear them crying in the darkness. The tears of those this house had claimed during the years. Countless lives... And more to come. She heard the door opening and closing, and not long after, something bumped onto her in the dark. She felt Evangeline’s touch, as the woman grabbed her by the arm. Her eyes had already adjusted to the darkness, and she could make out the silhouette of a viera, standing in front of her. 

“Who goes there, wearing the cloak of the night? A burglar? Or maybe a cheating husband be thee might?”, Irene snapped her fingers, and a small foxfire appeared over her shoulder, like a small lantern carried by invisible pixies. The faint light was way too small, too weak to illuminate the hallway, but it was enough to cast a small circle around the women. The light danced on Irene’s features. The sickly face of Iris, and black lips, curled up into a playful smile, revealing a line of yellow teeth. In a way, the sight was eerie. 

“...A bath does sound good though, Evangeline. I was just on my way to the kitchen for a midnight snack, but can very well accompany you, maybe wash your back. You... look like a coal miner. Ohh, if you could just see yourself now! Come on now, lets get that grime off your features, before the creatures of the night claim you as their own...” Irene turned around, and floated towards the bathroom door, opened it, and slipped in. Not long after, Eva could hear the sound of running water filling the tub.

Evangeline giggled at Irene’s joke, eyes searching the barely illuminated face of the woman she once loved. The faint glow of the foxfire cast deep shadows on the viera’s gaunt face, revealing her high cheekbones, her sunken eyes...Irene didn’t look healthy. She needed more food...less alcohol, and less cigarettes. In that moment, Evangeline resolved to try and make sure the woman ate properly. Three meals a day if she could manage it. She wasn’t sure how she could deal with the cigarettes...or, in fact, the pills. The night the two of them had gone to the club...Iris had slipped her something. It had made her feel amazing...and she had done a few things she wasn’t particularly proud of. She felt a blush creep to her cheeks at the thought of it, and she tried desperately to wave the thoughts away before they overtook her.

She had to focus...because the morning after she had felt like death. A headache that had lasted all day. Exhaustion. She had barely been able to move her body until past noon. If this was something that Iris did regularly...that was another in a string of unhealthy things the woman was doing to her body. Eva would try to help...for Irene’s sake, if nothing else. With the fox-like woman in charge of the body, it would be easier to take things in a more positive direction...hopefully.

She watched the slight, almost ghostly form of Irene float away from her and slip into the bathroom. Eva shook her head. Still, sometimes...she wondered how in Eorzea she had gotten herself into this mess. At least she had made friends with Irene through all of it. That, at least, was a blessing...in the face of all of the curses she seemed to have placed upon herself the past few months. Hearing the sound of water, she trotted after Irene, opening the door to see the other woman disrobing. Literally, as it happened.

She dropped the robe she had been wearing to the floor, revealing pale skin covering the slender frame of Irene. Evangeline watched the robe fall into a pile, a snake made of fabric, coiling onto the floor. The light caught her shoulder blades, of all things, as she turned to step into the bathtub. The woman was barely visible...but in the now flickering light of the foxfire, she seemed almost transparent. A spectre. Beautiful, and terrible, one who would come to you in the night to drain you of your soul in exchange for a few moments of divine pleasure. Eva smirked at the thought, and removed her clothes, marveling at how dirty she was. The water in the tub would be black by the time she was done...she could see the divide, the place where her shirt sleeves had covered her forearms, the neckline of her shirt...even in low light, she could tell the difference.

“Perhaps we could grab that snack after we’re done in the bath? There isn’t anything wrong with a little extra food to help us drift off to sleep, in my mind.” Eva smiled softly at Irene. She honestly didn’t know how she could go back to sleeping alone, after spending her nights with the woman. She had never felt so comfortable or so safe next to anyone...and after four nights without nightmares, she was hooked. Evangeline didn’t know how things would work out after Silke got back...or after Iris got back. If Iris came back. But she didn’t think anything made her happier than feeling sleep take her while she was wrapped in Irene’s embrace.

Eva lowered herself into the bathtub, feeling the water envelop her aching muscles. It was indescribable how good it felt...the water was steaming hot, and she could feel it pulling the grime off of her already. The scent of hibiscus lingered in the air...Irene must have dropped a bath bomb in right after she had started the water running. Evangeline gazed across the tub at the spectre floating passively in the water, watching the reflection of the foxfire dance in Irene’s violet eyes.

“I’m sorry today has been a bit busy for me...how have you been?”

“No need to feel sorry, Angel. You are taking the correct step. Stepping away from the future painted with blood. A step into the blessed moonlight. And with the father of murder away on his ride... it's a perfect time to prove your worth to him. Am I not right, Angel?” Irene stood up in the pool, water running down her lithe form, as the faint glow of foxfire danced on her pale white skin. Her deep black hair ran down on her shoulders and chest, like a thick spider’s web, now that Evangeline had brushed it clear of all the tangles it had before. With a smile lingering on her lips, Irene made her way to the lantern, hanging on the wall above the tub. She opened the lid, and lit the heart with the foxfire, before snapping her fingers, making the dancing flame disappear. She leaned back onto the wall, next to the lantern, fixing her dead eyes on the dark-skinned viera, sitting on the opposite end of the pool. Evangeline’s body had something very poetic to it. The beautifully dark skin, together with well built warrior’s physique and hair, made of a wildfire, made the woman look like a goddess of war. “I... have been...”, Irene took a deep breath, her eyes wandering from Evangeline to the water around the woman. Black water. Deep black, slowly spreading into the tub. The soot. “...Just... w-wandering around the m-manor... Helping... the ferryman...”, pale viera shook her head, her dead eyes turning in sockets, and without warning, she fell forward, face first into the pool. Iris opened her eyes, beneath the waves of the black sea. The shock made her gasp, breathing in water. She felt she was drowning again. Losing herself. She had died once, twice... and now she was back again. It was like some twisted game for a sadistic god.

While feeling the dread washing over her, Iris kicked the water hard, as a last attempt to get to the surface. The final plea of a forsaken woman. But to her own surprise, she broke the surface almost right after. Her legs still touched the bottom, and water only reached up to her hips. The pale viera stooped down, coughing hard, trying to get the water out. The first thing that came out was just some saliva, then a blurt of dark water... she felt her stomach turning upside down, and unable to keep it in, she threw up. A mess of dark and bloody red, splashing into the bathwater. After everything had come out, holding her chest spasmodically, Iris blinked, looking around. “Whe.. Where..?”, she coughed hard, and her eyes catched the form of Evangeline, now standing up in the pool, in front of her. “...F-Fockin’ ‘ell... Evangelin’! Wh...”, another burst of heavy coughing broke out, forcing Iris to curl up, the black locks of hair, running down on her face like seaweed.

“IRENE!” Evangeline screamed, watching in horror as her friend fell face-first into the bathtub, seemingly catatonic. Eva threw herself forward, too late to catch the falling woman, desperately trying to get a grip on Irene to turn her over and let her breathe. Dark waters splashed around her, flying from the bathtub, the serene picture of a calming evening soak shattered into a million tiny water droplets. Just as Eva had managed to start to pull Irene up, the pale viera surged upwards, coughing and sputtering, as if she were being pulled forth from primordial ooze, tendrils of black hair whipping the air as she gasped for breath. Irene vomited, more black bile, blood...the dark bathwater was tinted further, this time with a swirl of crimson. Evangeline moved to comfort Irene, to ask her what had happened, take the thin frame of her friend in her arms, when she heard it.

“...F-Fockin’ ‘ell...Evangelin’! Wh…” Eva would have known that voice anywhere. She should have realized...realized that her joy would come to an end. Sooner or later, this was going to happen. Iris wasn’t gone...she never had been. Just buried. Lurking. Waiting for the time she would come back and tear Evangeline’s...friend? More-than-friend? Straight from her arms. A chill set throughout Eva’s body, as one thought became clear and present in her mind. Sharp like a knife, it cut through to her core, slicing her bones apart.

What if this was the last time she saw Irene?

What if...what if this woman she had grown to know...to cherish...was a one-time deal? What if Iris resurfacing fully would expel Irene from the body...for good? She felt cold. Alone. Again. And Iris being back made it worse...so much worse. The woman who had broken her heart, torn her to shreds, played with her like it was a game...here she was. In the flesh, so to speak. Evangeline had thought for days about what she might say...what she might do when Iris came back. It had changed every day. Sometimes she was angry...sometimes resentful...sometimes she could feel herself wrapping back around Iris’ finger like ivy, reaching fruitlessly for something that could never be hers. All of her thought, though...all of her preparation went directly out of the window when she saw Iris in front of her. She was so utterly different from Irene that it was palpable. The way she stood, her eyes, her face...everything was completely changed. It was still...surprising.

“How could you.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. And Evangeline felt it leave her mouth unbidden.

“How could you do this to...to…” Eva wanted to say ‘me.’ She wanted more than anything to say ‘me.’ She wanted to be selfish, hateful, and angry, to yell and scream...and so she did.

“Me. How could you do this to me. I did everything you asked. I tried to be what you wanted. I tried to tiptoe around your boundaries and I made sure all of the eggshells were intact after I walked over them near you. All the while you were in love. And instead of having the common decency to tell me how desperately you wanted this woman you tried to USE ME to get back at her? To what, make her mad? Jealous? How fucking dare you.” She sneered, her arms crossed. She shook for a moment, almost imperceptibly, gritting her teeth, her eyes locked on Iris. She shook her head to try to calm herself.

“I am hardly blameless in this scenario.” She continued quietly. “I threw myself at you like an idiot. I pushed when I shouldn’t have. But seven HELLS. I can’t even begin...to think...of how upset I am. I’m going to...to…” Evangeline trailed off as she turned to step from the bathtub, finally realizing that she would probably need another bath to get this bathwater off of her. She trailed off, in fact, because she looked at the bathwater. Really, truly looked at it. Swirling in those dark waters were images she had thought were contained to her mind...images that, blessedly, she had been free of for the past few days. It made it all the more brutal for her to see them again now. She felt her throat close up as she locked her eyes on the water, the hellish divination pool she was unable to look away from.

The rippling images depicted everything she wanted to forget. Bloody battlefields...heads on spikes...shattered bodies of her comrades. But what was truly unavoidable was the one moment she had hoped to forget most...and it played again in front of her.

“Get her armor off. I don’t want to bruise my fists.” A broad shouldered Garlean man gazed down at her, grinning maliciously. She couldn’t move. Her muscles tensed up, tightening as they always did, freezing her in place as she felt herself be dragged up from the ground, the men surrounding her unstrapping her armor so that she could be beaten more efficiently. Two of them held her, an arm for each of them, as the broad man approached her, and immediately sunk his fist into her cheek, almost breaking her cheekbone on the spot.

“This bitch killed three of my men. Teach...her...a lesson.”

Another kicked her, jamming their foot into her side near her kidneys. Punch, kick, punch, kick. The blows came steadily, never wavering in their strength. All the while she could feel the two that held her arms start to pull at them, wrenching and twisting, as if they were trying to pull her in two. The beating continued, even as her left shoulder let off a loud ‘pop’ and dislocated, causing her to scream in agony. No sound came out, though. She was frozen. Unmoving. Just like every morning. She took in a sharp breath as her body realized she needed air, and she immediately started to hyperventilate, breathing faster and faster, unable to control herself. She waited...waited for help. Like every morning. No help came, though. No guardian angel...no squad of friendly troops. Just more pain. The men had started to change...grow more hideous. They resembled beasts now. Eyes aglow with fury, sharp claws and horrible faces. They screamed with rage...delight...and hunger. And she stood there, stock still, as they tore her apart. Rending her flesh, eviscerating her, and last...but not least...pulling her limbs from her body.

She could move again. But just barely. This had been worse...it had felt more real than the dreams usually did. Evangeline felt the tears pour down her face, but was unable to even wipe them away. All she could do is curl up in a ball, sitting down in the black bathwater, and shake uncontrollably, clutching at herself as she watched her horrible, gruesome death play out again...and again...and again.

Iris spat into the water, trying to get the horrendous taste out of her mouth, but it was no use. The metallic, bitter... rotten aftertaste lingered on her tongue, sticking to it. She took a step to the shower stand at the corner of the pool, and turned it on, letting the clean, warm water wash her face, while taking a drink. She could not get rid of the taste completely, but it faded away some, making it somewhat bearable, if nothing else. While listening to Evangeline, going on and on about how Iris, once again, was a horrible person, pale viera turned off the shower, and dipped her arm into the weird dark mess, that was the bathwater, pulling the plug on the bottom, so the grime would drain away. She needed a bath so badly, but listening to a silly girl going on and on with her monologue, the grime filling the pool right now could not drain fast enough. What the hell was Evangeline on about anyway? Iris had just... literally returned from the death! The situation reminded her of the first time she had arrived at Blacksoul Manor. She had made a miraculous recovery. She had already paid for the ferryman, yet she tore herself free, diving into the river of the Underworld, and fought herself back to the realm of the living. And what was waiting for her? No smiles, happy tears, or blankets wrapped onto her shoulders... No beautiful dance-girls curling up onto her sides. No. Just cold hands of Varg Blacksoul, long nights strapped onto bed, and a nightsoil pot to shite into. And now this? This was like a fucking homage to the last round. But instead of Varg, now she had Evangeline. 

“How c-could y-y-ya do d-dis to mi...”, Iris imitated the woman’s words while walking onto her side, about to get out of the bath. She needed a cigarette, and she needed it badly. Her head was pounding, loud enough to make her ears ring.

“Yer right, buttpluck... Ya threw yerself at mi... Like a fockin’ puppy, humpin’ mi leg! Did we not ‘ave a deal? ‘Ow is it mi fault, if ya fail to understand dat in tha little ‘ead of yers? Whut the ‘ell did ya expect? For us to frickin’ live ‘appily ever after? Gimme a break... Now wash yer heckin’ cadaver, and leave mi to get rid of dis fockin’ smell of an open grave...” What Iris was about to say got drained down with the black water, as Evangeline suddenly collapsed into the pool. A drained out sigh escaped through Iris’ yellow teeth, as she eyed the sight in front of her. Of course Evangeline was crying. It was all the woman could do. Pale viera was about to step out of the pool, leaving the woman alone with her misery, as she noticed Eva shaking like a dead leaf in the winter storm, right before it gets torn off of the branch. A panic attack? A sick scene? Either way, this was not normal. 

Something has to change... 

Silke’s words from somewhere behind a veil echoed in Iris’ mind. Had it even really happened? It felt like a fever dream. But the dream-Silke had been right. Something had to change. Or she would lose her star in the night sky forever. And that? That would be worse than death. Pale viera sat down next to the woman, wrapping an arm softly onto Eva’s well-toned shoulders. She could feel the woman’s whole form, shaking against her side.

“Evangelin’... Cinnabun, whut’s wrong? Eva? Heckin’ breath wid mi gal, okai?” Iris took a deep breath, holding it for a second, and exhaled slowly. She repeated the process couple of times, while holding the woman gently, making sure to not make her feel trapped. “...Just... focus on frickin’ breathin’, ‘aight? Yer doin’ good.. Keep goin’...” She kept breathing with Evangeline, while the black water was slowly drained out of the pool below.

As she was torn apart for the fifth time, Evangeline heard something. It was faint...but it was different. She felt something...something that wasn’t, for the first time in what had felt like years, claws rending her flesh.

-ocus...breathin’...doin’ good… 

Something lay gently on her shoulder...and something else wrapped around her chest. She looked at it...to find...something familiar. A ghostly...pale...arm. Thin almost to the point of being bony. She recognized this arm...recognized it well enough to be able to follow it. The arm didn’t dissipate into nothing when it stopped touching her body. It...belonged to someone. Someone who was sitting right next to her...breathing with her. She felt her breath slow...and calm...as the arms around her anchored her back to reality. The image in the pool...the image in her mind started to fade. She could barely feel the monsters gut her this time. She looked up...and two violet eyes pierced the illusion, shattering it into nothing. She sat...now covered in filth again...looking into the face of a viera woman she recognized. Gaunt, and almost hauntingly beautiful. She tried to grasp the name...and caught one from thin air. 

“Ir...ir...Iris…? A-are you...you….Iris? I-Irene?” Evangeline’s breaths came ragged to her as she stared at the face. The world slowly came into focus again around her, and she realized she was in a bathtub. Realized she was still shaking uncontrollably.

“Wh...where...where am I….?” she said, her voice trembling like a leaf in a thunderstorm. “W-will the...the men be back…? I...w-was in the d-desert...a...a...arree….are th-they going to k-kill me..again…?”

The name ‘Irene’ made Iris’ breath get stuck into her throat for a moment. Where did Evangeline hear that name? Iris’ had never talked about her mother.. with anyone. Especially not Eva, who she had basically just met. Irene had been a lousy mother... not worth being remembered. She was just about to ask about the name when Evangeline asked if the men would kill her again. Again? A cold shiver ran up on viera’s spine. She had been so sure. So sure she had come back from the death, but this? Had Evangeline died too? Iris had no idea how long she had been floating in the bottomless, hollow sea, but it felt like a couple of summers easily. Maybe more... Then again, if she was dead, what was the headache? The only thing that had ached during the unknown amount of time floating in nothingness was her heart. Now her heart felt rather fine, but the headache was killing her. This was curious. But whatever this was, some part of her was boiling over with joy just seeing the face of Evangeline. For so long, she had been in the deep dark... Not seeing anything, let alone a face of someone she knew. She did something she had never done before... She wrapped both of her arms around a now seemingly calmer Evangeline, and pulled the woman into a tight hug. For some time, she just sat there... enjoying the warmth of the other’s body... And giving the woman as much comfort as she could in a situation like this. “Ya... seem to be in da bathroom o’ manor, Evangelin’... And I dunno about whut men yer babblin’ about, but dere is no-one ‘ere. Just mi.

...If ya died though.. Welcome to da fockin’ afterlife, huneydoll! ‘Onestly though... The thin’s priest keep flappin’ deir lips about... Seem to be rather exaggerated, if ya ask mi... ‘Ave not seen a great ‘alls, nor bright lights. Just a frickin’ head-ache, and mi mouth tastes like sumeone ate cat’s shite wid it...” Iris placed her thumb onto Eva’s cheek, wiping away a flow of tears, and leaving her fingertip black with soot. “...And its Iris! Whut’s dis damn nonsense about Irene though? ...Fockin’ ‘ell... Who ever is in charge o’ dis whole damn afterlife business has frickin’ poor sense of humor.. If I ‘ad to pick a place to spend a damn eternity in.. Dis heckin’ bathroom would not make it to da top o’ da list...”

Evangeline felt cold, thin arms wrap around her, and listened as Iris talked.

“The..t-the...manor? That explains...the lack of sand…” Everything came flooding back at once. The gate she had made, the bath, Irene...oh Irene. Gone. A whisper of a person, who may never be heard again. She watched stoically as the last of the dark water drained from the tub, taking with it her horror, her nightmares...for now. It was late. And she knew soon...sleep would take her, and she would be back in the desert. Full of fear. Reliving the moment that had broken her again. No Irene to lie by her side. Just cold...and alone...in a dark room. What snapped her from her reverie, in fact, was Iris. The sudden realization that Iris’ arms were wrapped around her. Iris held her in a tight hug. The slender frame of the woman she had once loved was pressed flush against her skin, warm to the touch. She slowly, carefully folded her arms around the other woman, returning the hug in kind. She didn’t know what Iris had been through...but it was probably more than enough punishment than she could hope for in this situation.

“I’m sorry...Iris.” She said, her sense of self slowly seeping back into her.

“I’m not dead...and neither are you. I don’t know why I saw...and felt...what I did there. I have nightmares every night. Every night I see the same thing: the group of Garleans who nearly dismembered me in Ul’dah. At the time, I was saved by someone...someone who was special to me.  In the dreams, I live through it again...but with no-one to help me. They tear me to pieces, over and over again, until I wake. I had gotten used to it...but this time it felt a thousand times more real than before.” Eva rocked back and forth slightly, trying not to go back to that place again. Trying not to feel it again.

“What happened between us...is in the past. I can hardly be upset with you...we did have a deal. I shouldn’t have expected what I did.” She looked to the floor of the now-empty bathtub, staring into space.

“Irene i-is..w-was...the n-name of one of your other...selves.” Evangeline’s voice began to tremble again, and the tears that had almost stopped stung at her eyes again.

“S-she was very...k-kind to me...v-very sweet...helped me calm d-down after you disappeared...and even t-tried to help me bring you back…”

Irene was gone. The finality of it hit her...with Iris back, Irene most likely wouldn’t be making any more appearances...if she was even there anymore. Maybe she had been ejected like a wayward spirit...moved on to the afterlife. Or maybe she was buried deep in Iris’ consciousness, never to be seen again. Iris was a dominant person...and if she wanted to be in charge, she probably would be.

“B-but she’s gone now...and I-I’m okay with that...it’s your body. Welcome back.” Eva sobbed. She most definitely wasn’t okay with it. But how could she tell Iris that? How cruel would it be to tell someone who had fought her way back to consciousness that she wasn’t Eva’s first choice? In some ways it was nice to see her...she had missed Iris in an odd sort of way. But she missed Irene already...the constant presence that had comforted her, made her feel like the world wasn’t so cripplingly awful to inhabit...was gone. And she was alone. Again. Evangeline felt as if someone had scooped out her insides with a spoon. And so she sat there, a hollow husk, trying not to squeeze Iris too tight, although she desperately wanted to.

RK800/RK900 - Everyone Deserves A Name ♥

How RK900 got his name:

After the android revolution, Connor is so much more free as a Deviant. He’s allowed to develop his own personality, his own style… He’s allowed to discover his own indenity and make his own choices and decisions. Connor likes to let his hair curl and be messy, and he loves to wear the thick rimmed, thick framed glasses that Hank got him - even if he doesn’t actually need to wear glasses. He loves to cuddle in big jumpers - especially his “Detroit Police” hoodie the most, and any other clothing that is pretty much two times his actual size. Things like this make Connor happy, and he’s reminded everyday how good it feels to be free. 

That’s why, when RK900 joins the Detroit Police Department, Connor makes it his mission to try and help RK900 out of it. To try and coax him to be free, too. RK900 is so buried within his programing - he doesn’t care about himself or his own comfort, or how he was percieved amonst others, as long as people played to his game. He’s the upgraded version of Connor - so of course, he’s bigger and stronger. More muscular and capable, where as Connor himself is on the smaller side; very lithe and agile. But RK900 is just… Devoid of everything. He has an unprecedented amount of coding that stops him from going Deviant, irregardless of everything around him. Connor just wants him to be happy and free. He always comes over to RK900′s desks to check he’s doing okay, to check he’s taking his breaks, to ask how his day has been and bring him coffee of a couple of occasions… Even if, at first, RK900 is a little annoyed by all of Connor’s questions and the interuptions to his work that he causes. For so long, he’d either tell Connor to “go do your job” or “why aren’t you at Anderson’s side? He’s a liability when not under watch” or just completely ignore Connor. Not even looking up from his desk and computer.  But… RK900′s weakness would be the coffee. He’d try to hide it, but it was a luxury that just seemed to somehow draw out the faintest reactions from him. He’d actually engage in drinking it, and he’d start (accidentally) linking Connor to that sense of faint enjoyment.

And Connor would pick up on how RK900 was enjoying the coffee, too. One day, Connor - who was all excited, practically bouncing on his heels - would come over to RK900′s desk, taking his wrist gently and tugging him out of the DPD. Tugging him down the endless streets of Detroit that Connor was very familar with by now. All cheerful and happy. “RK800-’ RK900 would start, feeling like an owner who’s puppy was tugging at the lead. ‘-Let go of my hand. What are you doing? Does this pertain to the case?” Wondering just how in the world Connor had all of this energy. “Would it make you happy and agree to come with me if I told you that it linked to the case?” Connor would smile, practically glowing, having come out of his shell so much since becoming Deviant. With help from Hank, Markus, North, Kara… Connor is now his own person. “And call me Connor! It’s not that hard! I keep telling you!” No one expects this cute, little dork to be a damn police detective, but when they get their asses kicked by him, they believe otherwise. He was scarily good at his job and super successful, whilst staying true to himself and being confident. “It wouldn’t make me happy, I can’t feel happy - however, it’s relevance will ensure my compliance.” RK900 would respond, following after Connor and wondering silently whether or not Connor was going to let go of his wrist - and further more - why RK900 hadn’t automatically pulled his wrist away when Connor first took it. “If I called you Connor, it would result in confusion, since I myself do not have a name - it’s best that I call you by your model number.” RK900 reminded Connor so much of his old self… Which would give him even more of a reason to help. “…Well, I could give you a name… If you’d like that…” Connor would say, almost shyly, still with a happy tone to his voice. 

RK900 would be scanning the area repeatedly, trying to figure out where the bundle of joy and energy was taking him. Connor knew where this place he was - taking RK900 too - off by heart by now; always going here with Hank and his friends. But as for RK900… The surroundings offered nothing for him to work with just yet. Was his processor slow? Or was he not up to date on the case- “I don’t need a nickname.” He’d insist at first, before pausing… “However… It… Might decrease ineffciency or time loss. RK900 is not… Catchy.” He’d think again for a few moments. “If I had an ulterior, more memorable nickname, it could benefit my overall efficiency.” Connor would be grinning as soon as RK900 explained his train of thought. Connor would honestly think it was adorable, and he’d be completely listening to every single word. “Good! Then it’s settled! I’ll pick out a name for you.” Not just a nickname. “But you’re going to have to let me think about it over coffee!” Woops, well, Connor just outed himself there. Taking RK900 to a coffee shop wasn’t much of a surprise anymore, huh. “Come on, slow poke!” RK900 would blink. Connor had changed his phrasing - “RK800, you said “name” not “nickname”, there is a substantial difference.” He wasn’t allowed to have a name. That was very clear, buried in his protocols - names formed senses of individuality - “-coffee? and I am not slow! I have a higher speed capacity than any other model on the market-” He’d speed up a little regardless, following orders subconciously. “If you want coffee, we should turn around and head back to the station, where the coffee machine is.” And, it was free. RK900 didn’t have money - he wasn’t allowed to buy things - no, he didn’t need to buy things.

“A name is more important then a nickname, dummy. And i’m going to give you one, whether you like it or not. You’ve already given me your permission.” Connor would giggle with a bright smile - ever present - as he looked back at the taller, more muscular android. And Connor would be a lying little shit if he said he didn’t like that. “Oh, I promise you, the coffee i’m about to buy you is ten million times better then the coffee back at the station. You’ll love it!”

When the two of them arrived and got inside of the small, cute cafe that Connor himself always loved going to - Connor situated RK900 down at one of the corner booths and asked him to wait in a soft voice, followed by a kind smile. He came back within a few minutes, with two recyclable take-out cups in hand. He’d sit on the other side of the booth, opposite to RK900. 

“Okay, you see how my name is written on the cup, here?” Connor would point out with his finger. “I thought of a name for you. And it’s written on your cup! So… Surprise, I guess?” And on the back of RK900′s coffee cup, would read: Nines. In clear handwriting.

“…Nines.” RK900 would say softly, and before he could control it, his brow would unfurrow - eyes softer, clearer, and although is mouth would stay sealed the way it was, his eyes would actually be so expressive - he’d look happy. Barely recogniseable - but then he’d realise what he was doing and stop instantly. He wouldn’t know how to confirm that… It’s the nickname he wanted - but not want, since he couldn’t want, or like - just - “that fits well.” He’d end up saying somewhat awkwardly. Conflicted. “I… Accept this as my nickname. Thank you.” “You’re very welcome.” Connor would respond happily, so glad Nines - Nines! He had a NAME! - liked the name. “I’m glad you like it…” Connor would be blushing a very faint blue, dusting over his cheeks as he looked down at his own coffee cup shyly. Watching Nines expression change like that, however…? Oh, Connor had seen it. He’d seen the way Nines’ features relaxed, and his eyes became a little softer and… Dare he say it… Happier. Connor was SURE of it! “And it’s a name, Nines, Not a nickname. Dammit, i’ve just gotten you to stop calling me RK800 and now i’n going to have to get you to stop doing something else? Unbelievable.” Connor would say, but in a completely playful tone, laughing soon after. “If it was a name, it’d be on my offical records. It isn’t.” Nines would say matter-of-factly, his eyes always flickering back to the cup…  Before they left, however, Connor would definitely take a photo on his phone of his and Nines coffee cups. To remember this moment.  And Nines… He has an inbuilt software that allowws him to take photographic records with his eyes, for crime scenes etc… He definitely snaps a shot as well.

A few days later, after giving Nines time to adjust to his name, Con would so expertly and easily hack all files on Nines, and his interface/HUD, to display his name instead of his model number. Even his jacket… Connor would change that, too. So when Nines caught his reflection that day… He’d just be staring, eyes unblinking, looking at the jacket. “You gave me a real name.” He’d say, not turning to look at Connor, but knowing Connor would hear.

Crystal Used In Reiki Awesome Cool Tips

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Okay I'm a woman, but now what?

I have previously wrote how others see me but how do I see myself and what did it take for me to see myself as a woman?

I didn't just wake up one day and decide to be transgender. For me, I had always known even if I didn't have a word for it. It wasn't enough that I couldn't even look in the mirror. It wasn't enough that I was depressed to that point of being suicidal. That was my normal state of being and I was used to it.

No, what really pushed me over the edge was seeing another transgender woman who was happy. You see, media had portrayed transgender people and, in particular, transgender women in such negative lights for so long that I had started to believe it and couldn't see myself as ever being happy.

I had grown used to hating my own image in the mirror. I had grown used to hating parts of my body -- to the point of being very close to cutting certain parts off with scisors during puberty but not going through with it -- that I had gotten uses to hating myself and coming to the realization that I would never be happy.

This realization sunk into my subconscious and made me extremely depressed and emotionally standoffish. I couldn't trust anyone because I was alone and afraid of always being unhappy. I knew from the examples that media had chosen to show when I was growing up that I could never be happy.

It didn't matter that media was now starting to shift and show positive stories about transgender people, and even transgender women, because I had already had the negative examples forced down my throat. Anything that contradicted that just didn't make sense anymore.

No, what really pushed me over the edge was meeting another transgender woman who was happy. This was towards the end of last year. She was happy and living her life. I wondered if I could have that? I never told her I was transgender and there was also a transgender man and nonbinary person in our group at the time as well. I kept quiet because I still didn't feel worthy of being transgender.

That sounds silly right? But consider that I hadn't felt like I belonged in a long time. What right did I have to claim being transgender? What right did I have to claim to be a woman? It took me going to therapy and being truthful and honest to realize that not only did I have the right to claim these words and my gender but that I was and am a transgender woman who can be and is happy.

Now, this isn't to say I don't have moments of being sad and overwhelmed. I have days where I need to cry because I am very emotionally overwhelmed. There are times I need to go to the bathroom and just sob. Sometimes not even because of any specific reason. Sometimes it's just because I need a good cry.

This isn't a bad thing though. Being overwhelmed does happen. Recognizing this and having a good outlet helps. The problem is if you take out your emotions toward others in a negative way.

I've always been emotional and not sure how to express these emotions. The truth is I was never taught how to properly express my emotions. As a child, my dad told me it was okay to cry but not in front of others -- especially not in front of those who could hurt you or make fun of you.

In ny experience at the time, that was everyone around me. I began to believe I wasn't worthy of emotion. I want worthy of displaying or having them and so I hid them, burying them far below the surface.

If I didn't display my emotions, or even acted like I didn't have them, I was safe. The problem with this is that denying a part of you, especially a huge part of what makes you a complete person, only hurts you in the long run and takes away from who you are.

By denying my emotions I was denying myself, and in turn was playing right into the stereotype the world expected -- that of a boy who was unemotional and normal. But this wasn't normal, even for boys and men. This was harmful. This was wrong but I believed it and played that role.

Now, I played it for thirty one years. Even when I knew I was emotional I didn't know how to display these emotions properly. I would have outbursts of anger, and occasionally still do, because not displaying emotions properly leads to displaying them in negative and improper ways.

By meeting this other transgender woman, who was happy, and watching her I began to wonder if that could be me. Could I be happy? Could I truly be someone I wanted to be? Could I be me.

I needed to feel worthy of being happy. I needed to work past this feeling of shame of my emotions and my femininity. I needed to realize that femininity was not a bad word. I needed to recognize that not only did feeling feminine feel right but that I am feminine. I'm a woman and describing myself as feminine is not appropriation but, rather, claiming the right to be myself.

Now that I recognized this, I knew I had to go further. Okay I'm a woman, but now what? How do I behave as a woman? Is there a right way to be a woman? A wrong way? Sitting was easy. I had watched other women my whole life. What about voice? Mannerisms? Do I stop scratching an itch? Do I act all prim and proper? Do I just not care about that and act normally? What kind of woman do I want to be? What kind of woman am I?

The truth is I'm still figuring that out. If I gave an itch on my arm, I'll probably scratch it but I'm not going to be rude and scratch more private itches. Now, with that said, it did take me a moment to realize that wiping dirt off my shirt could be considered improper due to my breasts being there.

A lot of this I'm beginning to just do naturally. My walk has been feminine for years anyway so I just walk as I normally have been. My voice I've been slowly adjusting since the end of last year. My resting voice is still rather deep but I've been working on it as time has gone on.

I'm not sure how feminine verses masculine I want to be but I know I am feminine. I love finally being able to wear clothes that match to my own gender. I cross dressed for thirty one years (that is to wear clothes normally seen as for men) and I'm just enjoying being able to be myself and wear clothes meant for my own gender (that is clothes meant for a woman).

I've come to the realization that what others see about me isn't always as important as what I see about myself. I need to see myself as a woman. Once I started doing that, I realized that I become much happier and more confident. Again, this isn't to say I'm always outgoing or even always in a good mood.

I'm realizing that there are going to be days that I'm just tired and not up to socializing -- but, of course, having to work means needing to go out regardless -- but that it was okay to feel this way. I didn't and don't need to be the center of attention. I can just live my life and be myself.

I don't need to prove to others I'm a woman and I certainly don't need to prove to others my worth. I just need to be myself. That's it. That's all I need to do. Now that I have honestly been looking for and found myself I have no desire, need, nor want to go back to how or who I was pretending to be.

Being who I am is far more important and far better for me. Being Sarah, being myself, has made me feel better and stronger then pretending to be a man and pretending to be happy. Feeling happy for the first time in my life at thirty one has taught me the importance of self worth and being myself. This is a lesson that I want to be clear on: I can't and won't go back to pretending.

Now, this means I may stand out. I need to pee so I have to use the women's restroom. This may be dangerous depending on where I am but I have to go so I have to use it. Being myself means I need to be myself no matter where I am and, despite the danger, I'm going to be myself regardless of where I am.

I need to also see myself as a woman--because I am--regardless of where I am. For me, this has been the right and best decision. Not every transgender person can or does go full time. For me, it has been the best call but it has been scary and not at all easy. I've been afraid and concerned on how I'll be treated.

Overall though, and again each case is different (your mileage may vary), this has been the best decision I have made. Seeing myself as a woman and recognizing that I can be a woman regardless of where I am has allowed me to love myself more and be more comfortable with myself.

I need to remember at times that it's okay to be honest and emotional and even hug people. I remember as a teenager wanting to watch over the younger children at a church building my mom and I were at. One of the children need to go to the bathroom. I didn't see a reason to refuse them but was stopped and told I couldn't take them. I was confused. Why couldn't I? I was told it was 'because I was male and it was improper'. I immediately stopped volunteering there.

Can you imagine? Telling a teenager that. Now, looking back on it I can see why I was so offended. They called me a guy. They also assumed I would do something improper, which is a whole other issue, but let's focus on them calling me a guy and why I was so offended.

As a child and as a teenager, I knew I was a girl and not a boy. I didn't have words for it. I just knew. I would see a younger family member painting her nails and wanted to. Whenever she painted them, I would make sure I could watch, even though I never dared to try and use the nail polish I wanted to watch.

I loved playing with her toys. We didn't live together so at one point she stopped playing with them but I didn't know that and offered to play dolls with her. As a child, she made fun of me, because she didn't understand that I was also a young girl -- older than her, yes, but still a young girl.

I wanted to do normal feminine activities and be seen a young girl. Unfortunately, people didn't see that. Just as with the church group, I was constantly on the outside of both gender and people in general. Seen not quite a man but not quite a woman.

I knew I was a woman though. Years later, when the wife of a woman was giving me a ride to another church building, we started having a conversation about her period. She brought it up. I had no issue speaking about it because it felt natural but I stopped myself after a few moments because 'omg what am I doing, I'm a guy...right?'

I've dated men and women, although I have only dated men online, due to being afraid of how they might treat me 'if they knew' and because it was easier to be a woman online. With that said, all the women I have dated have been either bisexual or lesbians (a few looking for a 'safe option' as it were).

I wore my mom's clothing a few times as a child (and she caught me once of I recall correctly) but even with all this I still didn't know how to admit that I'm a woman or even how to start living as a woman. I was afraid that I could never be happy. The media had made that clear.

I would never be happy, right? I would never be able to be (and excuse me here) a "complete" and "real" woman. That's what I was told. It was bullshit. They were feeding me lies and I bought it because I didn't know any better. Seeing the other transgender woman gave me hope though.

Looking back, I'm sure she had her own issues she had to deal with, but seeing her happy made me realize that I could be happy. Yes, life may not be perfect but living my life makes it worth it. I don't need a perfect life, I just need my own life.

I am a real woman because I am a woman. I am a complete woman because I am a woman. I don't need to be able to give birth to be a woman. There are cis woman who cannot give birth and they are women. I'm a woman because I am and not because someone said I was at birth. I'm a woman. That's it. But now what?

What do I do from here? I live my life. I shave my legs because I enjoy the feeling (and because it's my choice to do so, not all women want to nor need to). I get up every day and love myself because I get to be who I am and not what the world expects me to be. I'm a woman and I'm happy.

Considered to be among the best hiking trails in the world, the Larapinta Trail is as enormously challenging as it is unimaginably beautiful. Having worked in Central Australia for two years, I’d felt that I’d come to appreciate the cultural significance, design of the landscape and the brutality of the elements – but the Larapinta Trail was something else.

Hiking the 12 section, 271 kilometres of the Larapinta Trail over 14 days had long been a dream, but I’d also never believed in its reality. I’m a 27-year-old fella from Adelaide who craves the adrenalin of adventure but wishes the physical challenge didn’t have to accompany it.

Until hiking the Larapinta, I’d never trekked longer than 8 days consecutively. The longest solo trip I’d undertaken was only 3 days. But here I am, now back in Adelaide after an unreal adventure and I’d recommend it to anyone.

The view of Mount Sonder at sunrise. Photo: Ben Trewren

Choosing your itinerary

I chose to hike the trail East to West (Alice Springs to Mount Sonder) for a culmination of reasons:

This is the direction in which the trail was designed to be hiked.

You hike what’s considered the least interesting scenery first, but you don’t really know it as you don’t have anything to compare it with.

While the sections are longer at the beginning in terms of kilometres, I appreciated the relative flatness of starting with section 1 and 2. This allowed me some time for my body to adjust to the hot and dry climate, to my pack and to get on top of my hydration.

I was keen to finish on a high by climbing Mount Sonder as my last adventure on the trail. Better still, I wanted to enjoy the view of Mount Sonder as I approached.

The sun would be on my back instead of my face in the morning (I planned to start early and aimed to finish hiking early afternoon).

I wanted to make the most of the kiosk and showers at Ormiston Gorge between sections 9 and 10.

I had a clear timeframe, so I could confidently organise a pickup time from Redbank Gorge.

Getting started early on the long days to avoid the afternoon sun. Photo: Ben Trewren

When to Go

I was on the trail for the last week of August and the first week of September. The weather was incredibly kind to me with a daily average of 26°C and only two days above 30°C. This was such a relief as I was tormented with temperatures in the mid 30°C the week before, and similar forecasts the week after I completed the trail. Overnight was also quite mild. I never needed more than a fleece jumper and found sleeping pretty easy.

It was also a very quiet time. In total, I saw around 50 people on the trail and camped with no more than 5 people at a time. Much different to the stories from the peak period through June and July. Overall, the weather will be the biggest consideration for you when deciding to hit the trail. I was really happy with my time of year – not too hot during the day and no frostbite to my key body parts overnight.

I had clear bright blue skies every day whilst on the trail.  Photo: Ben Trewren

Duration of the trail

Having allocated myself 14 days on the trail, my navigation plan was constantly changing in the lead-up. However, I was really happy with my final decision. Hiking for 13 days and taking the opportunity for a rest day on Day 11 at Ormiston Gorge.

In a nutshell, I took a day to hike each of sections 1-8. I then split 9 in half over two days, before taking a rest day. Then 10 and half of 11 in a day, the second half of 11 the following day and then 12 on the final day. While on my day off, I tackled the Ormiston Pound Walk.

Logbooks were provided by NT Parks and Wildlife at every trailhead. Photo: Ben Trewren. 

Flights & Accommodation

I booked my flights to Alice Springs with Qantas using my Frequent Flyer points. It’s a 2-hour flight and there’s one flight a day from Adelaide to Alice Springs that usually arrives around 1 pm. And there’s another from Alice Springs to Adelaide which usually departs around 2 pm. I think it’s a very similar arrangement from other major cities.

I was fortunate to have friends who live in Alice Springs who generously picked me up and dropped me off at the airport, and gave me a place to stay. However, if you’re not as lucky as me, you can catch a shuttle for around $15 (cash) into Alice Springs Town Centre. Or a Taxi is anywhere between $30-$50 depending on your location.

Alice Springs has a range of accommodation like hostels, motels, and hotels which are all relatively affordable for what’s offered. When looking for accommodation, research pricing and then try and pick one a location close to the other services you’ll need (supermarkets, outdoor store, Visitor Information Centre, etc.).

Arriving in Alice Springs. Photo: Ben Trewren

How long does it take to complete?

One of the most adventurous things about the Larapinta Trail is that you can flexibly and safely choose your own adventure. I met some people aiming to complete the trail in 9 days, whereas I met others on their 20th day. It really does come down to how you want to tackle the challenge. I decided based on how much walking I thought I could complete each day (around 18-20kms), access to water and that I only had 2 weeks leave available.

Upon completing the Larapinta Trail, my longest day was 31.3kms through Section 6. My shortest day was 13.5kms through Section 7.

Try to avoid focusing on the km’s marked on the trail signs as they’re frequently incorrect (due to trail maintenance, changes, etc.). For the lightweight hikers – you can save a bit of weight by allocating maps to your food drop boxes.

Often, trailheads provided as much information as the maps did… Photo: Ben Trewren

Navigation

While I don’t recommend them because they lack map detail and the information (especially trail data) is frequently incorrect, as they’re currently the only option, it’s worthwhile getting your hands on the NT Parks and Wildlife map set available here. I got word on the trail that Larapinta Trail Trek Support (LTTS) are looking to create their own maps with far greater map detail. They also want to include more interactive information on the flora, fauna, history, cultural heritage, etc., which will be a fantastic improvement.

In saying all this, the trail is incredibly well marked with the familiar blue arrows on the white signs. Because of the abundance of signage, you often wonder whether there is a need for maps or a GPS.

Just follow the blue arrows… Photo: Ben Trewren

Food Drops & Trail Support

I paid LTTS for the End to End Solo Package and couldn’t be happier with my decision. Included in the package are 3 food drops at Standley Chasm, Ellery Creek and Ormiston Gorge along with box collection after I’d passed through (allowing me to unload gear if need be).

The package also included transfer back to Alice Springs from Redbank Gorge at the end of my walk, stove fuel provisions (as it can’t be transported on a plane), organisation of the food box room keys, PLB and SPOT hire and support and advice towards my navigation plans.

I highly recommend Zac and his team from LTTS to support you when undertaking the Larapinta Trail – they offer a huge amount of support for a range of requests.

My food boxes all packed and ready to give to LTTS before the start of my trek. Photo: Ben Trewren

Other gear to leave in your food boxes

Aside from food, your food boxes are a fantastic place for a change of clothes, batteries, toiletries and extra rewards like bottles of Gatorade.

They’re also fantastic for dumping gear you no longer needed on the trail (like my down jacket), no longer wanted (books that I didn’t have the energy to read) or became unusable (certain pairs of underwear).

Put an obvious rubbish bag in your Ellery Creek box. Unlike Standley Chasm and Ormiston Gorge, there are no bins and LTTS will need to take your rubbish for you. Double layer it if necessary to prevent the smell penetrating everything else in your box.

While LTTS help organise the pickup and return of your food box room key, you need to book it yourself. It’s easy enough by just calling Alice Springs Tourism Centre and paying your $50 deposit plus $10 fee over the phone. However, be mindful that the keys can book out (especially in peak periods) and then you need to rely on others. So for peace of mind, get in early on this one.

Picking up my food box at Ormiston Gorge. Photo: Ben Trewren

Food I took for the trek

I kept my menu varied and easy as I didn’t want to be consumed with ‘cooking’ along with my hike.

Here are some of the options I carried:

Breakfast – Muesli with Powdered Milk & Fruit Puree

Snacks – Lollies, Dried Fruit, Shapes, M&Ms, Dehydrated Fruit Straps

Lunch – Crackers, Tuna, Metwurst, Peanut Butter, Cheese

Dinner – Soup Powder, Dehydrated Meals

Looking back I would probably pack more salty snack options to assist with rehydration. For me, this would’ve looked like more soup powder, salty nuts and any other savoury snacks.

Some tips for the dehydrated meals:

Add a bit of extra water to assist with an alternative way of rehydrating.

Wait 20 minutes rather than 10 minutes for the food to rehydrate for better flavour and texture.

Eat straight from the bag (there’s a slit halfway down the pack to rip across and make it easy to eat from) so there’s no washing up.

I personally found the Back Country 1 serve sizes fine for my appetite, but recognise that I’m not a big eater.

Cottage Pie they reckon! One of my favourite rehydrated meals on the trip Photo: Ben Trewren

What kind of food is available at the Kiosk?

The usual cold drinks, ice-creams and chocolate bars are available at both kiosks. But it’s the range of homemade and fresh options that I really craved – especially when spending 14 days on a hiking trail.

At Standley Chasm, I had the Lasagna ($18) which came with three generous serves of salad. They’re also open for dinner Thursday to Saturday. I came through on a Saturday so I made the most of the fresh food and had a Steak with a massive bowl of steamed veggies for dinner.

Upon arriving at Ormiston Gorge, I tucked into their Big Breakfast ($16), while also enjoying their Salad ($10) and Steak Sandwich ($10) over the course of my stay. They also do a ripper of an Iced Coffee and the cakes are worth every cent. They were also very generous to package up a Lamb and Rice ($10) for me to reheat at dinner time.

Breakfast at Ormiston Gorge Kiosk. So good. Photo: Ben Trewren

Boots & Gaiters

The important thing to know about the Larapinta Trail is that there are rocks, rocks, rocks and more rocks. This is why you need boots that offer support. The second important thing to know is that the trail conditions exceeded my expectations. Not once did I feel like the trail wasn’t ‘clear’ to hike through so it wasn’t necessary to have epic amounts of ‘protection’.

I hiked in a pair of pretty solid Scarpa Kailash GTX boots. Upon reflection, I would’ve opted for a lighter and more breathable pair of boots that still offered support. Most importantly, make sure your soles are in good nick and are durable enough to handle the rocky terrain. It’s not uncommon to hear of people’s boots disintegrating mid-trail because they lacked quality or they had been overused prior to starting. I saw one lady wearing Dunlop Volleys?!

I’m also very grateful for the advice I received beforehand to hike in shorts with ankle gaiters because that’s all I needed. I also really appreciated the ventilation from this combination. I did see a few people with trousers that zip off into shorts, which are also a great clothing option. Because the trail is in such good condition, I only experienced an occasional brush with spinifex. You always felt like you could clearly see what was on the trail. In saying all this, I didn’t even see a single snake!

Giving the feet a break and celebrating the Bombers making the AFL finals! Photo: Ben Trewren

Clothing to wear on the trail

Clothing is something I ummed and ahhed about a lot as I felt there was a fine line between getting it right and wrong. Knowing that I have a pretty warm body, but also cautious of how bitterly cold Central Australian nights can be during the winter months, it was tough to call.

I hiked in shorts and a t-shirt that were lightweight, breathable, and also super durable. On my feet, I wore my trusted Wigwam Merino Socks to look after my feet (which they did 95% of the time).

I carried a fleece sweater (which was all I needed when temperatures dropped) and a spare t-shirt to change into. At the start I had a pair of long compression tights and a down jacket, however, once I realised that overnight temperatures weren’t that cold for me, I left my jacket in a food box.

I found the compression tights fantastic to wear upon arriving at camp. Especially as they gave me the peace of mind that they would hold my legs together when I seriously doubted they would on their own.

At my halfway food box at Ellery Creek, I included a second change of clothes. I also threw fresh undies and socks into every food box (thanks, Forrest Gump) and included a fresh t-shirt for my day off at Ormiston Gorge.

On top of Brinkley Bluff. Photo: Ben Trewren

Doing laundry

I carried all my clothes in a Scrubba Wash Dry Bag because it has a range of advantages. It easily holds everything I wear, keeps out dust and moisture and has a valve for expelling air for packing. Most beneficial, however, is that when I needed to wash my clothes it did a fantastic job of breaking down the gunk without wasting too much precious water.

Don’t forget to also take along a clothesline to dry your clothes on after giving them a good scrub.

Washing day on the trail. Photo: Ben Trewren

Sleeping gear for Larapinta

When it came to sleeping, I trusted my Sea to Summit Basecamp II Bag and Thermolite Reactor Extreme Liner to get the job done, so I slept in very little, sometimes nothing which gave the skin a chance to just take it easy and breathe. Very happy with this plan of attack.

Shelter

In order to save weight and knowing I had spent over 300 nights in a swag before, I decided on a bivvy bag as my shelter. I knew that many of the trailheads already had platforms established, with shelter options available, and that packing my bivvy only required ‘stuffing’ – so I was pretty confident with my choice.

The usual setup at camp. Photo: Ben Trewren

Should you bring a tent?

Overall, I was happy and unphased with this decision until getting to Ormiston Gorge where I had thrown my 1-man Zempire Atom tent into my food box so that I had some ‘sense of security’ for leaving my gear unattended during my day off as well as when I would head to summit Mount Sonder a few days later from Redbank Gorge.

Upon picking my tent up and using it, I realised the peace of mind it gave me compared to my bivvy. At night, I could go to bed and zip up the inner and automatically my fears of what ‘may’ happen decreased. I felt much more comfortable to put a podcast in my ears because I didn’t feel the need to hear what was happening around me. I also didn’t stress about pesky mice getting into my gear as much.

In hindsight, I’m still undecided whether I would opt to carry the extra weight and spend the extra time pitching and packing up the tent for the entire journey. But I certainly appreciated ending the trip with the comfort of the tent.

Enjoying the view of Mount Sonder from the tent. Photo: Ben Trewren

Additional gear Packing Tips

Toiletries

Lip Balm and Moisturiser are worth throwing into your toiletries because the dry air will wreak havoc on your skin.

Tea Tree Oil helps manage the funky smells and germs coming from your feet.

Hand Sanitiser is definitely worth it because water is scarce, plus you need to stay on top of your hygiene.

Wilderness Wash and Wipes are a must because they’re bio-degradable and soft on the environment and they give you an opportunity to wash  – either yourself, your dishes or clothes.

Tools and accessories

Overcome the fear of the stigma, and grab yourself a set of hiking poles. They’ll improve your balance, take the strain off your legs, provide support and at the worst, protect you against a raging animal.

Small tweezers/Splinter Probes are fantastic for dealing with endless prickles and if needed, draining blisters.

Carry a

Making the most of the sun and charging the batteries. Photo: Ben Trewren

Hydration Gear

Nuun Active tablets as they’re low in sugar and carbohydrates and are available in a range of fruity flavours.

Comfort gear

Throw in a packable daypack for when you reach Redbank Gorge. You won’t need to carry a full pack up Mount Sonder, just the essentials.

Have some foam to sit on. The comfort is really appreciated by your bum and it offers fantastic protection against the prickles. I personally loved the Thermarest Z-Seat.

Sitting at the top of Serpentine Gorge at the end of section 7. Photo: Ben Trewren

Where to go from here?

In the second part of my Larapinta series, I talk about what to expect on the trail – water sources, facilities, camps, phone reception, hazards and leaving no trace on the track.

Are you prepping for a big hike like Larapinta? What do you think is the most challenging part? 

The post Hiking Larapinta Part 1: Preparation appeared first on Snowys Blog.

What are Affirmations

Photo by Renato Abati from Pexels

Affirmations are a powerful ingredient in positive thinking. They are not statements that you wish to be true; they are statements that you must believe are true.

Affirmations are positive statements describing a desired condition in your life. That condition may not yet exist, but the affirmation is spoken as though it does. A simple example might be: “I am at peace with my life.” This is repeated several times on a daily basis, out loud or mentally, the aim being to program the subconscious mind into producing the desired outcome. They must be sincerely felt, and spoken in the present tense with conviction and enthusiasm.

We carry out such mental programming every day whether we know it or not; the trick is to make this programming conscious and positive. The alternative is to be unaware that we are issuing negative affirmations to ourselves. If you have ever made a mistake and muttered “I am such an idiot”, you have given yourself a negative affirmation. The problem is that any negative affirmation you give enters your subconscious mind and has a harmful effect – it creates your reality.

Why Make An Affirmation?

Personal Goals

Positive affirmations are made because you want to achieve something. That may be more money, a new car, a bigger house, a better job, more success, or, on a more personal level, love, health, happiness or peace. We all have such desires – we would be strange if we didn’t. But these outcomes can sometimes seem so far beyond our grasp that we do not really dare to think that they could be ours for the asking. Instead, we focus on how far away from our desired outcomes we are, and negative affirmations become our mantra.

Ø    We desire to be wealthy, so we think: I’m never going to be rich.

Ø    We want that promotion, so we think: It’s bound to go to someone else.

Ø    We want love in our life, so we think: No one’s going to love me.

We are thinking about the things we want, but from a negative perspective. If this is true, then there should be no doubt as to why it is a good idea to flip the coin and start talking positively. It is not as though we are being forced to start doing something we aren’t doing already, or that is in any way laborious. How much effort does it take to say one sentence to yourself? And wouldn’t it be nice to speak to yourself in positive terms for a change?

Be Careful What You Wish For …

You will doubtless have heard this saying in the past. In full, it says: “Be careful what you wish for; you may just get it.”

This may appear an odd saying, because who in their right mind would wish for negative things to happen? Unfortunately, too many of us are thinking negative thoughts every day. Look at the examples above – how it is so easy to have a positive desire that is expressed in a negative way. Take the example of your desire for a promotion. Instead of repeating to yourself: “The promotion is mine”, you think: It’s bound to go to someone else. Perhaps this is a means of protecting yourself from disappointment, but what you are actually doing is repeating a negative affirmation. Your subconscious is receiving the message that you will not be promoted, and it interprets this as an order. You may think that your subconscious cannot affect the decision made by your boss, but your negativity comes through loud and clear. Your boss may be looking at you and feel reluctant to promote you because they sense you are not the positive person they want in a position of increased power.

So you fail to win the promotion largely because you have been thinking you won’t, and your boss has picked up on something negative that they don’t like. Although you didn’t actually wish that you would fail, you helped make it happen because failure was the dominant thought in your mind. The above saying may speak of wishes, but it more correctly refers to thoughts that are uppermost in your mind for the majority of the time. In other words: “Be careful what you think of; you may just get it.”

The results that are manifested in your life can be directly affected by the thoughts in your head, and the affirmations you give to yourself.

The PMA/NMA Coin

Another good reason to create positive affirmations for yourself is because it is so simple to do. As already mentioned, that does not mean it is necessarily an easy process to carry out – which will be dealt with in the next chapter – but it is certainly a simple process to understand.  

In positive thinking, your mental attitude is often referred to as a coin. It’s an apt description. You have two forms of mental attitude: a positive mental attitude (PMA), and a negative mental attitude (NMA). Just like the heads and tails of a coin. And just like a coin, it can be flipped very easily and it will never come to rest on its edge. This means there is no third option of a neutral mental attitude. It is either positive or it is negative.

When something is so easy to understand, there is very little reason to simply stare at your coin and leave it lying there with its NMA side upwards. Whenever you notice that you are feeling negative, or you catch yourself making a negative comment to yourself, make a conscious effort to flip the coin to its PMA side, and counter the negative thought with a positive affirmation. As wonderfully complex as your mind is, it does not have the capability to focus on more than one thought at any one time. If you are thinking a negative thought, you can instantly dismiss it by bringing a positive thought to mind.

Controlling and Understanding the Subconscious Mind

This is a useful life-skill, and affirmations can help forge closer links between your conscious mind and your subconscious mind.

Once you start making your positive affirmations and you begin to see that they are working, you have proven your ability to control a part of yourself that remains out of reach to so many other people. Your subconscious mind is like the registry of your computer. A computer’s registry is its database that stores configuration settings and options. Most people have a vague idea it’s there, some may realize what it does, but very few will be able to open it up and start deleting or adjusting any of its keys or values because they won’t know what anything in there means.

You need to understand that it is possible to adjust your subconscious mind, and positive affirmations are the way to do this. It is how you can clear out all the redundant and harmful data your subconscious stores, and allow you to know exactly why you may be behaving in a certain way in a certain situation. When a computer is behaving oddly or sluggishly, it is often a muddled and messed up registry that’s responsible. Even when you delete a program, there will usually be remnants of it remaining in the registry. Your aim with positive affirmations is to reprogram your subconscious, and to continue to clear out any negative traces that remain from your previous way of thinking.

Positive affirmations help you become more in tune with how your subconscious operates, and why you may respond poorly in certain circumstances. The more you program your mind positively, the more easily you will recognize negative activity and be able to jump on it and delete it. Equally, you will find that you are far more tuned into the whispering of your subconscious mind that often bring answers to difficult dilemmas in your life.

Overcoming Bad Habits

Depending on how they are phrased, affirmations can create good or bad habits. You may start out with affirmations that relate to some grand goals, such as a better career, or a more peaceful life, but don’t forget that affirmations can be applied to any area of your life. They can be used to help control your weight, to quit smoking, to cut back on the booze, so stop biting your fingernails. You name the habit, and a positive affirmation can be phrased to deal with it.

Increased Confidence

Positive affirmations have a knock-on effect beyond the result named in the affirmation. As your life gradually improves, you will feel a sense of growing confidence, whether or not you have ever phrased an affirmation regarding a boost in your confidence levels. This is the natural consequence of personal achievement. Your outlook on life changes and your self-image is transformed. You create a virtuous circle where a vicious one may have existed before.

Better Physical Health

Again, this will be a side-effect of positive affirmations even when you have not phrased one that relates directly to your health. Negative emotions are draining on the psyche, and this can have a debilitating effect on your physical well-being. Negativity causes you to feel lethargic, and can cause genuine physical illness. Where positive affirmations can make you feel at ease, negative thoughts and habits cause you dis-ease. This is why people develop psychosomatic illnesses.

Psychosomatic means mind (psyche) and body (soma), and an illness of this sort therefore involves both the mind and the body. You will have heard the phrase “sick with worry”. It is entirely possible to make yourself ill through stressful thoughts. Some physical diseases are thought to be particularly affected by mental factors such as stress and anxiety. Psoriasis, eczema, stomach ulcers, IBS, high blood pressure, and heart disease, for example, are all aggravated by negative thoughts. In fact, there is a mental aspect to every physical disease in how we react to it and cope with it.

Positive affirmations can improve your health in three ways: Firstly, your mindset is healthier overall with a positive mental attitude, thus your immune system is stronger; secondly, a specific affirmation can be phrased to augment your health and counter illness appearing; thirdly, they can be used to speed recovery if you do get ill.

Happier Relationships

Positive affirmations create better relationships, as other people instinctively respond better to positive vibes and success. This can affect every type of relationship in your life – with your partner, your kids, your relatives, friends, acquaintances, strangers, work colleagues, and your boss.

Again, this is an area that will naturally improve as your affirmations take effect, even if they have not been targeted at your relationships. You are far more likely to be successful if you have created a more attractive aura for yourself through positive affirmations.

Because Everything Begins in Mind

This is the truth that underpins positive affirmations, and positive thinking generally. This is the concept that must be accepted if you are to truly embrace the possibility that positive affirmations can improve your life and bring success.

The easiest way to verify this statement is to simply look around you right now. Apart from Nature, everything you can see started life as a thought in the mind of a human being. The clothes you wear, the car you drive, the street you drive along, the house you live in, the TV you watch, the books you read, the computer you work at, the chair you sit in, the company you work for, everything started out as an idea in mind.

That should make you think. The power of your mind to invent and achieve is practically limitless.

Recipe for Successful Long-Term Investing, Biggest Financial Regrets, and Applying Stop Loss in Life

Every Saturday, I plan to send out this special post with a few ideas I am reading and thinking about. Plus, a question I am meditating on.

If you wish to receive this post – apart from others I write regularly on investing, decision making, behavioral finance – please sign up below.

E-Mail Address

Anyways, here is some stuff I am reading and thinking about this weekend…

Book I’m Reading – A More Beautiful Question Since early childhood, most of us learned that our parents did not like us asking many questions and that only authority figures – most grown-ups – had the right to ask them. The result was that we stopped questioning things and accepted what we saw, heard, and were told with meek acceptance.

Sadly, this approach worked well in the industrial era, but proves futile in the knowledge era, because it compromises our ability to think and understand deeply.

In his book, A More Beautiful Question, which I glanced through recently at a bookstore, Warren Berger led me to the importance of asking thoughtful, ambitious “beautiful questions” — the kind that can help us grow into happier and more useful human beings. An insightful passage from the book reads thus –

We’ve transitioned into always transitioning…In such times, the ability to ask big, meaningful, beautiful questions – and just as important, to know what to do with those questions once they’ve been raised – can be the first step in moving beyond old habits and behaviors as we embrace the new.

In the modern era, we must use unfamiliar tools in our attempt to take on new challenges without clear instructions, and with the clock ticking. In such times, Berger writes –

…questioning…will be even more important in helping us figure out what matters, where opportunities lie, and how to get there.

“Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers,” said Voltaire. Now, more than ever, the quality of our lives depends on the quality of our questions.

So, what questions are you asking?

Articles I’m Reading One of the best theories I have read on the importance of investing in high-quality businesses in the Indian context comes from Bharat Shah of ASK Group, who has written a book (sad, it’s not available publicly) titled “Of Long Term Value and Wealth Creation from Equity Investing.”

I recently came across his old interview where he shared his insights on value investing and how he formed his investment process and principles. A passage from the interview reads thus (emphasis mine) –

…successful long-term investing calls for two vital technical capabilities or craft and two personality traits. While craft can be honed and refined by observing and absorbing, character traits have to come from within and be developed.

The two essential skills are: ability to comprehend and grasp the true character and the innards of diverse businesses as well as the ability to value them. Till these abilities are developed, one cannot become a good investor.

The two vital character traits are: discipline (or temperament) and wisdom. Discipline lies in investing only into quality businesses and the temperament of not getting carried away by the fads of the markets and buying such quality businesses only at a meaningful margin of safety.

* * * One of my favourite financial writers, Barry Ritholtz, recently wrote about the biggest financial regrets people have. This was based on a survey of over 2000 people by American life insurer giant New York Life, and found these as the biggest financial regrets – Image Source: Biggest Financial Regrets – Barry Ritholtz Barry concluded thus, and I completely agree with this –

The sooner you begin to accept mistakes are inevitable, stop beating yourself up over them, and just fix what is not working, the faster the compounding can start.

By the way, do you have any personal financial regret? If yes, what are you doing about it, except regretting?

* * * That real estate and banking are two of the most corrupt industries in India has come to light again with the PMC Bank (Punjab & Maharashtra Cooperative Bank) fiasco. The suspended managing director of the bank admits that past management did not keep the board in the loop about NPAs and also claimed the bank has an exposure of Rs 2,500 crore to the troubled real estate major HDIL, which is almost a third of its loan book!

When asked about the reason for underreporting of these loans, the MD has said PMC Bank wanted to grow fast and reporting the exposure could have led to a run on the bank. And if this does not sound shocking enough, when asked how the bank was able to hide HDIL’s NPAs for all these years, the MD said, “I am not going to tell you how we got it hidden. It is that the RBI has not seen it.”

Anyways, all this reminds me of an article written in 2016 by Tamal Bandyopadhyay about the corruption levels in the Indian banking system. You would be aghast at some of what he wrote –

…the pressure on giving loans without proper risk assessment mounts on senior executives just ahead of their interviews for promotion. If they don’t oblige, the risk of missing promotion is high. The senior executives also run the risk of being transferred to places not to their liking if they reject a loan proposal, recommended by the boss.

The current boss of a government-owned bank has recently told his executives to sanction loan proposals that he recommends (of course, verbally) and not bother about whether they will turn bad. His philosophy is: As long as the loan book is growing, none should bother about non-performing assets as bad loans as a percentage of overall loans can be contained through aggressive loan growth.

Tamal also wrote –

Instances of borrowers taking care of a senior banker’s child’s education overseas or picking up the tab for wedding reception of the daughter and even honeymoon at Bali are not rare. Similarly, a real estate firm may not mind selling a flat to senior bankers at a hugely discounted price to ensure speedy appraisal of the loan process. There are also borrowers who offer “annuity” to bank chiefs after their retirement to express their gratitude for the support extended to them in appraisal of loan proposals and disbursements of loans.

The annuity comes in the form of annual holidays, chauffeur-driven cars and guest house or hotel accommodation at certain cities.

Now, this is not to say that all banks are deceitful or all bankers indulge in corruption. I have seen and known honest, hard-working bankers. But the fact remains that banks in India, like globally, remain hotbeds of corruption. And the malaise is deep…very deep.

Thought I’m Meditating On Haruki Murakami wrote this beautiful passage on weathering life’s storms –

Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You’ll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.

A Question for You Heard of the concept of “Stop Loss?” A strategy used largely by traders, a Stop Loss order is placed with a broker to mostly sell a security when it reaches a price lower than the purchase price. So, if you have bought a stock at Rs 100, you can put a Stop Loss at Rs 95 or Rs 90. As soon as the stock falls to your Stop Loss level, it will be sold and your loss will be limited.

Well, Stop Loss works in life too. In his beautiful book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie offers us the advice of using Stop Loss in our day to day living. How long are you willing to wait for someone who was supposed to meet you for lunch or dinner? How long are you willing to remain angry with someone for something they once did to you? How much are you willing to pay for something? Are you sure that the value you put on what you want isn’t too high?

His point with all of this is that if we start putting Stop Loss on those things that have the potential to cause us worry or anxiety, we can minimize the stress in our lives that would otherwise take a major toll on us physically and emotionally.

So my question to you is – What worry are you putting a Stop Loss on today?

Enjoy your weekend, — Vishal

The post Recipe for Successful Long-Term Investing, Biggest Financial Regrets, and Applying Stop Loss in Life appeared first on Safal Niveshak.

Recipe for Successful Long-Term Investing, Biggest Financial Regrets, and Applying Stop Loss in Life published first on https://mbploans.tumblr.com/

Conception Site Web Montreal

In regards to choosing the appropriate creation de site internet montreal for your Internet site, you should generally shop all-around 1st to take a look at all the available choices. There are lots of conception site internet montreal out there to choose from. And A lot of them are pretty good at what they do.

Generally talk to to determine samples of conception site internet montreal preceding perform and analyze their portfolio. This will assist you to get an improved experience for that type of sites any specific Internet designer is able to undertaking. Most of the time, creation site web montreal have their own individual exceptional style and you will very easily location which styles they've accomplished up to now. I mean, It can be just like another artist's type; you'll be able to absolutely location their prior operates determined by the overall format, colour plan, and about-all visual visual appearance of the sites.

Encounter can be a critical element right here. Much like almost every other craft, Internet designers recuperate with practical experience. So By natural means, you'll be superior off by picking a conception de site internet montreal who has much more encounter beneath his / her belt.

A different critical stage it is best to determine is whether the web designer may make you a a hundred% personalized Internet site. Or will it be just a standard template Website design that one hundred's or simply 1,000's of men and women already have throughout the web. Essentially anyone these days can produce a standard HTML Online page in Microsoft Term or Publisher and alter the title of it to mirror their Branson business enterprise. But you should inquire oneself: "Is that this truly what I am in search of"?

Sites which are truly customized constructed will jump out more the rest of the fundamental template web layouts that so Lots of people are using as of late. A custom web design will catch the attention within your potential clients and present them that you have a very Qualified Net presence and you indicate business enterprise.

A lot of developpement web montreal nowadays choose to do the template Websites for one of 2 good reasons:

It's less costly to utilize a essential template web design. They might be missing the mandatory expertise necessary to create a completely custom Internet site. Regardless of the situation might be, ensure you go together with a designer that's capable of making a custom Website design to suit your needs. It'll inevitably cost you more for the custom web-site. Nonetheless it is totally well worth the extra cash invested. Have faith in me, in the long run you'll be Substantially happier along with your Web-site whether it is a internet site which is distinctive and made for just your business rather than Most people else's.

Interaction with a potential Net designer can also be vital in the development of one's Web page. You must be beautifully clear and determine your targets up-front, in advance of you really signal a Website design provider contract that has a designer. Be sure to know what you are finding for your cash and be sure to get it in writing! I've a 9-web page Site design agreement which i use every single time I style and design a new Internet site. Included in this agreement is an itemized list of all work which is being done in the course of the event of your Website. Such things as the precise variety of webpages, the exact quantity of graphics to generally be made, if I would like to create a symbol, the estimated time prior to completion, whether or not plan web site servicing will be executed following the web site is six months or 1 year outdated, and so forth.

Defining this stuff will help you In the long term and will also ensure you and the internet designer are on a similar web page.

I also use what I simply call my "Website design planning worksheet". This worksheet offers "milestones" or deadlines for each section on the web design project. Things such as "In 2 months the final layout might be carried out" and "two months following that, the location is going to be coded and launched" and after that "In one moth following the Internet site is launched, We are going to evaluate it to discover what should be adjusted", and so on. (these are just illustrations, by the way. the details included in amongst my actual worksheets presents precise dates and a lot more unique milestones).

And How about the Webhosting on your new Web-site? Generally, creation site web montreal will offer some form of Perception as to which web hosting firm they suggest. World-wide-web designers generally Have a peek at this website have a desire for just a web hosting business which they know are going to be a sensible choice in your Site and they need to assist you in building this assortment.

The good thing is, Now we have our own World wide web server listed here at Digital Spiral Web Design so we are able to do all the hosting ourselves. This is rather helpful due to the fact we could make sure the internet server stays up and running and if there is any servicing that should be executed around the server, we can easily do it ourselves inside a timely manner. Additionally, We're going to always Slash a deal for our Site internet hosting expert services to any new enterprise who chooses us to perform their web design.

Will your new Internet site demand any specialised Website programming? Effectively, The solution to that query is predicated solely around the wants of one's Branson Site. What sort of internet site will it's? Will it require a procuring cart for e-commerce? Will you be applying any Unique Internet programs or online kinds for the viewers to fill out? http://markets.financialcontent.com/stocks/news/read/37740912 Will or not it's a Internet site that requires your viewers to fill out registrations and register to allow them to login? For those who answered "yes" to any of these questions, then chances are high You'll have a web designer who may also system.

Are You Colorblind, and How Good is Your Color Vision?

In this article, we’re going to briefly look at the subjectivity of color. This is a colossal subject, but I wanted to share some of my thoughts on how color is perceived by each of us and whether it’s really that important.

Color IS Subjective

First off, color is subjective. I don’t care what else you believe in, but that is an indisputable fact. You perceive the red of an apple differently than I do, and we will never know by how much — ever.

More importantly, though, neither of us are right or wrong, as there is no way on knowing the actual exact color of that apple.

Colour only has any relevance when we try and describe it to somebody else, and the accuracy of that information is rarely crucial. When I ask you for a red apple and not a green one, you aren’t going to ask exactly how red I want my apple to be.

Of course, there are situations in which color is life-threateningly crucial. Pilots, coastguards, electricians, bomb disposal experts, and many other careers need to know the subtle variances of color, but ultimately most of us needn’t worry too much about what colors we’re actually seeing.

But What if You’re Colourblind?

The reason I’m prefacing this article with the subjectivity of color is because I hear photographers being concerned that they can’t accurately determine color casts correctly and that they may be colorblind. Let me be clear, there is a vast difference between being colorblind and not being able to determine subtle variances in color where photography is concerned.

First off, color blindness is genetic (hereditary) and as such you were born with it. You can’t catch it, nor can you ‘fix’ it. Chances are though, even if you are colorblind, you’re managing just fine. I am also almost entirely sure that when you did discover you were colorblind, that it was somebody else who ‘told’ you that you were. Up until that point you were likely, and rightly unaware of it.

Remember, color is subjective and I will only know what one color looks like to me and you will only know what one color looks like to you. It’s nearly always somebody else telling you that you’re seeing colors‘ wrong’.

Note: If you’d like to check if you’re colorblind, I have included a list below of useful online visual tools to determine your abilities to spot variances in color.

How Does Colorblindness Affect Us as Creatives?

So now that we’ve determined that it really doesn’t matter if you’re colorblind or not, let’s look at how our ability to read colors affects us as photographers. As I said, if you’re colorblind it’s not the end of the world for artists — in fact, it’s often quite the opposite.

Look at the work of famous directors like Christopher Nolan and Nicolas Winding Refn. They are both colorblind movie directors working at the top of their game with little to no negative implications of their color blindness.

Drive, a movie directed by Nicolas Winding Refn is one of the most visually powerful films in recent history. Nicolas Winding Refn use outstanding colour palettes to tell his story.

Neon Demon, another film by Nicolas Winding Refn and arguably a movie that uses extremes of colour to set mood and imply intrigue.

The Dark Knight directed by Christopher Nolan is one of the biggest films ever made. That success is in part due to the incredible cinematic use of colour within the darkness of this movie predominantly set in the dead of night.

So whether you’re colorblind or not, don’t let it hold you back but more importantly don’t let anybody else tell you it’s a hindrance or that you can’t be a good photographer or any other artist for that matter.

Not Colorblind but Color Challenged

Okay, so this is really where a lot of us sit. We’re not colorblind, but we struggle with spotting subtle differences in color. These color differences I’m referring to are specifically related to photography and they crop up when we’re trying to correct white balance issues or trying to color grade a shot.

Here’s the good/bad news; color acuity is a skill. It can be learned, but it will take time.

This skill is like any other and 20 years ago, I was terrible at it and now I am a lot better at it. Back then, before digital, we would have to color print using negative enlargers and chemicals. We would have to dial in our color corrections by hand via the magenta, yellow and cyan dials on our enlargers. We would have to also know that we can create any color correction via these three dials because by removing magenta we get green, by removing yellow we get blue and by removing cyan we get red.

This was hard.

I was not great at it and that’s because it takes time to develop the eye skill to determine color casts present in your shot. Anybody can color print correctly if they know what colors to try and balance, the skill isn’t in operating the machine but in knowing what needs to be adjusted.

Let’s take a look at a couple of examples below to try and see what I mean.

The above image may look okay to some of you and in all honesty, this would have looked perfect to me too 20 years ago.

But experience tells me that there are a few concerning color factors present in this shot. The shadows are looking a little sickly with a slight cyan/green tinge and the highlights are a little yellow. Let’s dial in some corrections and see if we can get closer to something the looks more desirable.

With the color adjustments made, I’m feeling a lot happier about the overall shot and the skin tones now visually look more appealing. Some of you may actually prefer the previous version, and that’s totally fine too. More importantly though, at no point did I say I was trying to make this look accurate or perfect. I personally believe that’s a fool errand, as making it look perfectly accurate is technically impossible.

Remember I said at the start that we all see color differently and that color is subjective? Well, how on earth are we supposed to accurately color correct something if we all see something slightly different?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying color correction isn’t important but I am saying that you need to develop a personal eye and taste for it and that will only develop over time. Look at the colors in your images from years ago, are they perfect? Chances are that you’d color them differently now.

Spotting variance in color is a skill like any other. I get asked by my wife all the time to taste-test dinner whilst it’s bubbling on the stove. I taste the food and to me, it either tastes good or it doesn’t. I have absolutely no clue what to add if it doesn’t taste good though, but some of you will likely think I’m mad. Surely you know if it needs more salt, wine, sugar etc?! To you that may be obvious and to me, coloring is the same, it’s obvious but only because I have a lot of experience with it and I’ve trained my eyes to spot very minor differences in color.

Closing Comments

So with all this in mind, let’s try to drop the word ‘correction’ from ‘color correction’. There is no ‘correct��� color, so stop worrying your monitor has shifted a degree one way or another, instead start paying attention to color with your own eyes rather than relying on what a machine tells you is right and wrong.

Of course, color blindness is a real thing and it’s very important to a lot of us. Chances are though, if you’re smart enough to be reading this post then you likely already know if you’re colorblind or not.

But if you’d like to double check, here are a few tests to put your eyeballs through their paces.

Ishihara Colour Blindness Test

The Ishihara color blindness test is the most famous and it’s the one with the all the colored dots and numbers. There are plenty online and most are fairly simple for a wide range of color variances in eyes. The link I’m providing here though takes you to a fairly complex version that has a lot more nuance in color. You’ll get a score at the end too.

Remember though, color blindness is far more common than you think. 1 in 255 women and 1 in 12 men have some form of color vision deficiency so don’t be alarmed if you don’t get a perfect score.

Here’s a link for taking this test.

Farnsworth-Munsell Hue Test

So now that you’ve taken the Ishihara color blindness test and you’re confident you know your colors, here’s the far harder Farnsworth-Munsell hue test. This test actually gets you to rearrange hues on a chart from one color to another. This is an excellent tool for us photographers because it forces us to spot very minor and subtle changes in color hues.

Here’s a link for taking this test.

Farnsworth-Munsell 100 Hue Test

It’s now finally time to leave the kiddie slopes and test both your patience and your eyeballs on this last hue test. This time we’ll be rearranging nearly 100 hues across four color strips. Once you’re done, hit the ‘score test’ button to see your results.

Here’s a link for taking this test.

Like I said before, color is subjective and even if you are colorblind, don’t let that stop you from being a phenomenal artist or photographer. And if you’re not colorblind but still struggle with spotting variances in colors, don’t worry, it will get easier with time and experience. For example, I passed all of those three tests with a perfect score, but I guarantee you I wouldn’t have even come close to that 20 years ago.

About the author: Jake Hicks is an editorial and fashion photographer based in Reading, UK. He specializes in keeping the skill in the camera and not just on the screen. If you’d like to learn more about his incredibly popular gelled lighting and post-pro techniques, visit this link for more info. You can find more of his work and writing on his website, Facebook, 500px, Instagram, Twitter, and Flickr. This article was also published here.

source https://petapixel.com/2018/10/25/are-you-color-blind-and-how-good-is-your-color-vision/

Are You Colorblind, and How Good is Your Color Vision?

In this article, we’re going to briefly look at the subjectivity of color. This is a colossal subject, but I wanted to share some of my thoughts on how color is perceived by each of us and whether it’s really that important.

Color IS Subjective

First off, color is subjective. I don’t care what else you believe in, but that is an indisputable fact. You perceive the red of an apple differently than I do, and we will never know by how much — ever.

More importantly, though, neither of us are right or wrong, as there is no way on knowing the actual exact color of that apple.

Colour only has any relevance when we try and describe it to somebody else, and the accuracy of that information is rarely crucial. When I ask you for a red apple and not a green one, you aren’t going to ask exactly how red I want my apple to be.

Of course, there are situations in which color is life-threateningly crucial. Pilots, coastguards, electricians, bomb disposal experts, and many other careers need to know the subtle variances of color, but ultimately most of us needn’t worry too much about what colors we’re actually seeing.

But What if You’re Colourblind?

The reason I’m prefacing this article with the subjectivity of color is because I hear photographers being concerned that they can’t accurately determine color casts correctly and that they may be colorblind. Let me be clear, there is a vast difference between being colorblind and not being able to determine subtle variances in color where photography is concerned.

First off, color blindness is genetic (hereditary) and as such you were born with it. You can’t catch it, nor can you ‘fix’ it. Chances are though, even if you are colorblind, you’re managing just fine. I am also almost entirely sure that when you did discover you were colorblind, that it was somebody else who ‘told’ you that you were. Up until that point you were likely, and rightly unaware of it.

Remember, color is subjective and I will only know what one color looks like to me and you will only know what one color looks like to you. It’s nearly always somebody else telling you that you’re seeing colors‘ wrong’.

Note: If you’d like to check if you’re colorblind, I have included a list below of useful online visual tools to determine your abilities to spot variances in color.

How Does Colorblindness Affect Us as Creatives?

So now that we’ve determined that it really doesn’t matter if you’re colorblind or not, let’s look at how our ability to read colors affects us as photographers. As I said, if you’re colorblind it’s not the end of the world for artists — in fact, it’s often quite the opposite.

Look at the work of famous directors like Christopher Nolan and Nicolas Winding Refn. They are both colorblind movie directors working at the top of their game with little to no negative implications of their color blindness.

Drive, a movie directed by Nicolas Winding Refn is one of the most visually powerful films in recent history. Nicolas Winding Refn use outstanding colour palettes to tell his story.

Neon Demon, another film by Nicolas Winding Refn and arguably a movie that uses extremes of colour to set mood and imply intrigue.

The Dark Knight directed by Christopher Nolan is one of the biggest films ever made. That success is in part due to the incredible cinematic use of colour within the darkness of this movie predominantly set in the dead of night.

So whether you’re colorblind or not, don’t let it hold you back but more importantly don’t let anybody else tell you it’s a hindrance or that you can’t be a good photographer or any other artist for that matter.

Not Colorblind but Color Challenged

Okay, so this is really where a lot of us sit. We’re not colorblind, but we struggle with spotting subtle differences in color. These color differences I’m referring to are specifically related to photography and they crop up when we’re trying to correct white balance issues or trying to color grade a shot.

Here’s the good/bad news; color acuity is a skill. It can be learned, but it will take time.

This skill is like any other and 20 years ago, I was terrible at it and now I am a lot better at it. Back then, before digital, we would have to color print using negative enlargers and chemicals. We would have to dial in our color corrections by hand via the magenta, yellow and cyan dials on our enlargers. We would have to also know that we can create any color correction via these three dials because by removing magenta we get green, by removing yellow we get blue and by removing cyan we get red.

This was hard.

I was not great at it and that’s because it takes time to develop the eye skill to determine color casts present in your shot. Anybody can color print correctly if they know what colors to try and balance, the skill isn’t in operating the machine but in knowing what needs to be adjusted.

Let’s take a look at a couple of examples below to try and see what I mean.

The above image may look okay to some of you and in all honesty, this would have looked perfect to me too 20 years ago.

But experience tells me that there are a few concerning color factors present in this shot. The shadows are looking a little sickly with a slight cyan/green tinge and the highlights are a little yellow. Let’s dial in some corrections and see if we can get closer to something the looks more desirable.

With the color adjustments made, I’m feeling a lot happier about the overall shot and the skin tones now visually look more appealing. Some of you may actually prefer the previous version, and that’s totally fine too. More importantly though, at no point did I say I was trying to make this look accurate or perfect. I personally believe that’s a fool errand, as making it look perfectly accurate is technically impossible.

Remember I said at the start that we all see color differently and that color is subjective? Well, how on earth are we supposed to accurately color correct something if we all see something slightly different?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying color correction isn’t important but I am saying that you need to develop a personal eye and taste for it and that will only develop over time. Look at the colors in your images from years ago, are they perfect? Chances are that you’d color them differently now.

Spotting variance in color is a skill like any other. I get asked by my wife all the time to taste-test dinner whilst it’s bubbling on the stove. I taste the food and to me, it either tastes good or it doesn’t. I have absolutely no clue what to add if it doesn’t taste good though, but some of you will likely think I’m mad. Surely you know if it needs more salt, wine, sugar etc?! To you that may be obvious and to me, coloring is the same, it’s obvious but only because I have a lot of experience with it and I’ve trained my eyes to spot very minor differences in color.

Closing Comments

So with all this in mind, let’s try to drop the word ‘correction’ from ‘color correction’. There is no ‘correct’ color, so stop worrying your monitor has shifted a degree one way or another, instead start paying attention to color with your own eyes rather than relying on what a machine tells you is right and wrong.

Of course, color blindness is a real thing and it’s very important to a lot of us. Chances are though, if you’re smart enough to be reading this post then you likely already know if you’re colorblind or not.

But if you’d like to double check, here are a few tests to put your eyeballs through their paces.

Ishihara Colour Blindness Test

The Ishihara color blindness test is the most famous and it’s the one with the all the colored dots and numbers. There are plenty online and most are fairly simple for a wide range of color variances in eyes. The link I’m providing here though takes you to a fairly complex version that has a lot more nuance in color. You’ll get a score at the end too.

Remember though, color blindness is far more common than you think. 1 in 255 women and 1 in 12 men have some form of color vision deficiency so don’t be alarmed if you don’t get a perfect score.

Here’s a link for taking this test.

Farnsworth-Munsell Hue Test

So now that you’ve taken the Ishihara color blindness test and you’re confident you know your colors, here’s the far harder Farnsworth-Munsell hue test. This test actually gets you to rearrange hues on a chart from one color to another. This is an excellent tool for us photographers because it forces us to spot very minor and subtle changes in color hues.

Here’s a link for taking this test.

Farnsworth-Munsell 100 Hue Test

It’s now finally time to leave the kiddie slopes and test both your patience and your eyeballs on this last hue test. This time we’ll be rearranging nearly 100 hues across four color strips. Once you’re done, hit the ‘score test’ button to see your results.

Here’s a link for taking this test.

Like I said before, color is subjective and even if you are colorblind, don’t let that stop you from being a phenomenal artist or photographer. And if you’re not colorblind but still struggle with spotting variances in colors, don’t worry, it will get easier with time and experience. For example, I passed all of those three tests with a perfect score, but I guarantee you I wouldn’t have even come close to that 20 years ago.

About the author: Jake Hicks is an editorial and fashion photographer based in Reading, UK. He specializes in keeping the skill in the camera and not just on the screen. If you’d like to learn more about his incredibly popular gelled lighting and post-pro techniques, visit this link for more info. You can find more of his work and writing on his website, Facebook, 500px, Instagram, Twitter, and Flickr. This article was also published here.

from Photography News https://petapixel.com/2018/10/25/are-you-color-blind-and-how-good-is-your-color-vision/

Finding a Balance

Its tough being a single parent. The demands of day-today responsibilities seem to pile up endlessly, leaving little time for anything else...including myself. I love my children dearly, and will do whatever is necessary to ensure they are loved and their well-being remains top priority, whether its preparing meals, cleaning up behind them, making sure homework gets done, or schlepping them all over the area to take advantage of one opportunity or another. That’s my job, and being a parent is the toughest job there is.  At the same time, I have to find some balance in my world, between taking care of my children and taking care of myself. Somewhere along the way, I’ve lost myself in the shuffle, the hustle and bustle of schedules, errands, household responsibilities, my son’s sports, and my daughter’s jobs. I stopped making time for me to simply be a person and a woman, and became a one-dimensional human being whose sole focus was being a parent. At one time, that was necessary. Severe illness left me with barely enough energy to perform the necessary tasks of our day-to-day lives, and I was determined to keep my illness from effecting my children as much as humanly possible.  Now, however, those circumstances no longer exist.  I’m cancer free for the first time in eleven very long years. I am relatively healthy. Although I still have some recovery ahead of me, I’ve been cleared to resume normal physical activity, and my energy levels are on the rise. Now its time for me to heal my mind, to shift my mentality from the mode where I have remained focused on survival into one where my focus is on living life to the fullest. For me, that means that I have to find time to do things that I enjoy doing, and setting goals for myself that further my own personal growth. It also means that there are times I am going to have to say “no” to my children’s wants and say “yes” to my own. That’s a big adjustment for me, and for them as well.  One of my personal goals is to get back into shape. While I don’t have significant body image issues, I do have a desire to rid myself of the looming aftereffects of my disease. I was on dexamethasone, a corticosteroid, for more than four years to lessen the swelling around my brain as my tumor grew. That resulted in not only significant weight gain, but an overall alteration in the speed of my metabolism. Now, when I look in the mirror, while I actually like the addition of some curves in my figure, I still feel like I’m seeing the sick version of myself, a body that doesn’t feel like my own. I want to change that. My other issue is that physician-ordered lack of activity, combined with some damage to my heart muscle from the long-term chemotherapy has severely lessened my level of cardiovascular conditioning. Add to that my lingering low red blood cell counts, and it makes it very difficult to get back into doing things I once loved to do, like hiking and running. I want to change that.   Last week, I joined a gym and hired a personal trainer. I’ve been diligent about going to the gym, doing consistent cardiovascular exercise. I attended one class, that was centered around core strengthening as well. Its hard, and at times very frustrating, but I’m doing it. I had to stop a couple of times during the class to catch my breath, but I pushed through. There were moments on the treadmill when a minute felt like ten, but I didn’t stop until I had completed whatever time or distance goal I had set for myself on that particular day. If I can kick a tumor’s ass that was supposed to have killed me by mid 2006, I can do this. My first session with my trainer is tomorrow. My fingers are crossed that I leave feeling encouraged and motivated. The other part of my life that needs some serious attention is my social life. In the past few years, my social interactions were limited to other parents of my son’s teammates, or my daughter’s friends. Interactions were on a surface level at best. That’s not enough for me. Although I am very picky about those I choose to involve myself with on any significant level, I am human. Humans were not designed to be solitary creatures and I am no exception. I have long-term friendships that I value to my very core. When I truly connect with others, the bonds that are formed are both strong and lasting. Unfortunately, however, the majority of people with whom I share those bonds are spread all over the country, rather than being from my local area, though there are a few exceptions. I went out alone (meaning without my children in tow) Saturday night for the first time in three years.I met up with a couple of close friends in an an environment that I have truly missed and had an absolute blast. I interacted with ADULTS, ya’ll! Without being constantly interrupted by my children! It was invigorating! I felt like a ton of weight was being lifted off my shoulders as the moments passed into hours. Time flew by for the first time in a long time, and the next thing I knew it was 1:30 in the a.m., and I was exhausted, but pleasantly so. By the time I got home, that rundown feeling I always seem to have at the end of a long week was nowhere to be found, and I had to take the time to wind down and get some sleep. It was awesome, and I have to do more of it, not only for myself, but for my children as well. I have found over the past couple of days that I am much more pleasant, slower to react to negative behavior on the part of my children, and much more patient than I have been as of late. I’ve had more energy and motivation to do the things I need to do to make a household, and my children’s lives run smoothly. The benefit of me taking care of me is one that spills over, allowing me to be better at taking care of them as well. Its going to be an adjustment for all of us. My life has completely revolved around them for so long now. That’s what they are accustomed to, and change is never easy for children to adjust to. They thrive on consistency and routine. At the same time, having a happier mom will be a blessing to them. As I get us all into a NEW routine, one where taking care of myself is a part of the equation, they will adjust, and have a much more pleasant mom in the process. There will be struggles. There will be times when I fall back into old patterns of self-neglect and forget to make myself a priority. There will be times when I catch flack from them, because they are used to me sacrificing all of my available time for them. But I have to remind myself, and them, that this is a process that benefits us all. Its a change for the good, and I’m not giving up, or giving in, without a fight. If that was the type of personality I possessed, one to be easily discouraged or defeated, I wouldn’t be here today.    

Happy Rooster Year Predictions

Insight from S. Lee Wright, BTB Masters Online teacher, LEED certified interior architect and graduate of the BTB Master’s Training Program.

As the Monkey Year comes to a close, we are all giving a great big sigh of relief. I do not know very many people who will not be pleased to see the tail end of the rascal Monkey of last year.  The Monkey Year proved, as I predicted, to be a challenging year for us in many ways. I had anticipated global turmoil as unexpected political upheavals were to be expected and a breaking down of old patterns of thinking.  It was a year to push us outside of our comfort zones and I foresaw that the world would be a very different place at the end of 2016 than what we started with. This was certainly the case from the loss of many iconic figures to the massive political disruption occurring throughout the globe including the refugee crisis, Brexit, to the issues with ISIS and terrorist attacks, to self-driving cars. What a year it was!

Now as we say good-bye to the Yang Fire Monkey energy of 2016, we need to prepare for the new energy of this year. It is quite a BIG change, so it is best to be prepared for a time of transition too.The upcoming year – 2017 – will follow suit with the energy of the Chinese animal (Rooster), the Elemental aspect of the animal (Fire) and the Yin Yang of the year (YIN). This year we have the Yin Fire Rooster. The Metal element, which is the element normally associated with the Rooster, adds the dynamic of contrasts to the year, because Fire and Metal are in opposition. So this upcoming year has a lot of energy in it, with opportunities and a lot of possible clashes taking place. Though the tone of the year is very different than that of the Monkey year, it is one to hold onto your seats for and be prepared to pay close attention, stay focused and remain patient.

Good-bye Monkey Year!

The Rooster is a trustworthy, responsible and resourceful animal. It is a sign of the dawning of the day, a great time-keeper and one that believes in hard work. This year you can expect to have a year of awakening and success for hard work and a great need for patience. Lots and lots of patience. This will be especially challenging, I expect, due to the fast paced energy we are leaving behind from 2016.

The Fire Element adds the passionate side to the year and will continue with the element from last year. Though it is in the Yin form this year, so it is represented with inner warmth, deep insights and the emergence of forgotten thoughts. It is going to be like a gentle unfolding of memories, dreams, ideas that have the power to inspire us greatly. We just need to allow them to do so in a well-thought-out and conscious manner. Do not rush into anything this year. Though the Fire energy often has us feeling like we are super busy and rushing around, it is good to manage this and be conscious of what we are spending our time on and not just spin our wheels. Again, be wary of the tail end of the Yang Fire energy of last year, and shift your own energy to be in alignment with the energy of this year, and you will benefit greatly from this harmony.

The FIRE element is very powerful for the Rooster Year

Note the YIN METAL element will add some interesting times to this year

Given the intensity of some of the energy – both left over from last year, as well as new, it is a good idea to also spend your energy and time outdoors more and allow yourself to get grounded with the earth. You can do this with gardening, long walks or holidays spent by the seaside on a beach. Also, surrounding yourself in earth color is a great way to change your interiors to help balance your energy. Dig your toes into the earth this year, and stay connected to the earth, and you will be able to weather any storms that come through.

Also, this year has the Metal Energy from the Rooster, which adds a sharp edge to the year, which can be seen as a continuation of some of the worst conflicts we had in 2016 with war, terrorists and conflicts in general. However, there is a sense of optimism surfacing and a sense of calm that seems to be taking hold globally. The YIN FIRE keeps us in touch with our feelings instead of disassociating from them, which joins with the hard-working and trustworthy energy of the Rooster to provide a sense of positivity that we can solve our problems. Apparently, there is a great surge of artistic healing that will come forward to help us bond, heal and co-create solutions. This can be used to our advantage, and given the possibility of conflicting energies, I suggest using earth colors as a way to manage the excess of the metal energy and keep you grounded. This can be done with your clothing in earth tones or by adding terra cotta to your home in the form of planters or tiles, or even colors.

In this year I recommend getting really clear on your INTENTIONS. This aligns you with the energy of the Yin Fire Rooster. Write it down, make a plan and take steps in the right direction. Be patient, work hard and stick to it. Do not jump at any get-rich-quick schemes, as this is the year to absolutely avoid anything like that. Stick to practical, well-proven paths, and remember that first impressions do really count.

Make a plan!

This is the year to also really strut your stuff and allow yourself to be SEEN. Roosters are very showy animals and love to been seen as pretty. Show your best side always. Allow yourself to be out in the scene to be seen. The Rooster’s shadow side can be too showy and vain though, so be wary and do not let your ego completely rule your actions or words. Take advantage of the fun opportunities and dress up! There is never a second chance to make a good first impression, and this year this can be super important for your advancement with meeting the right people.

Being the early bird, being in the thick of things will allow opportunities and connections to manifest. You need to participate.

Strut your stuff this year

Because it is a YIN year, it is also important to recognize the qualities of the Yin versus Yang energy of last year. The Yin Yang concept is the process of harmonization, ensuring the constant and dynamic balance of all things in our world. This year, 2017 has a lot of YIN energy in it, which represents the feminine energy. It encourages us to take some down time, to have quiet time and allow some space for ourselves. This energy is a slight contradiction and requires a delicate balance for yourself to dance between the need to be out there and do your thing and to make sure you provide yourself some quiet, down time. It is a year to make sure you have BOTH and do not fall into extreme patterns. Extremes rarely serve us, and in 2017 this will be much more so the case. Follow the Rooster energy here, and have a set timetable and schedule for yourself and stick to it.

Globally these strong elemental factors will result in a lot of friction and possible war, more terrorist attacks and some form of disasters occurring in 2017. This type of year has historically aligned with some major events in the world.

Doing all of these things in consideration of the energy of the year allows for a smoother experience for each of us individually, as well as a collective. We can either fight the energy that surrounds us, or we can learn to go with the flow. What do you prefer? My own experience is that my life is happier, and I am healthier, when I stop resisting and learn to follow in the path of the flowing energy. Recognizing the context of our lives, our world and our surroundings and adjusting accordingly can ensure a deeper experience in 2017.

We all have a choice on how we will show up this year

We each have a choice.  How to manage the 2017 Yin Fire Rooster is up to you!

My predictions for 2017 are general and can give you some overall ideas and concepts on the way to navigate the next 12 months of your life. Following in the wake of the Yang Fire Monkey Year, I think it is an especially sensitive transition this year. As I predicted, the changes to our world last year were massive, and now we will be needing to manage these changes as we realign ourselves in this new reality and how to move forward. These choices deeply impact our overall happiness. If you want some specific guidance on how your own energy will dance with the year, a personalized Feng Shui review of your space and your own Nine Star Qi energy can provide you insights and enhancements to support you. There are even deeper assessments that others can provide you with I-Ching readings, astrology readings and numerology.  My own expertise centers on your space design, as I have discovered that we can change our lives through the changing of our spaces. Our intention, dreams, desires and beliefs are our inner world, which is always manifested into our physical, outer world in one form or another. Our spaces reflect our inner selves, so why not make sure that it is a true, clear representation of the best of yourself and your most wonderful dreams and intentions?

Happy Rooster New Year!!!

Considered to be among the best hiking trails in the world, the Larapinta Trail is as enormously challenging as it is unimaginably beautiful. Having worked in Central Australia for two years, I’d felt that I’d come to appreciate the cultural significance, design of the landscape and the brutality of the elements – but the Larapinta Trail was something else.

Hiking the 12 section, 271 kilometres of the Larapinta Trail over 14 days had long been a dream, but I’d also never believed in its reality. I’m a 27-year-old fella from Adelaide who craves the adrenalin of adventure but wishes the physical challenge didn’t have to accompany it.

Until hiking the Larapinta, I’d never trekked longer than 8 days consecutively. The longest solo trip I’d undertaken was only 3 days. But here I am, now back in Adelaide after an unreal adventure and I’d recommend it to anyone.

The view of Mount Sonder at sunrise. Photo: Ben Trewren

Choosing your itinerary

I chose to hike the trail East to West (Alice Springs to Mount Sonder) for a culmination of reasons:

This is the direction in which the trail was designed to be hiked.

You hike what’s considered the least interesting scenery first, but you don’t really know it as you don’t have anything to compare it with.

While the sections are longer at the beginning in terms of kilometres, I appreciated the relative flatness of starting with section 1 and 2. This allowed me some time for my body to adjust to the hot and dry climate, to my pack and to get on top of my hydration.

I was keen to finish on a high by climbing Mount Sonder as my last adventure on the trail. Better still, I wanted to enjoy the view of Mount Sonder as I approached.

The sun would be on my back instead of my face in the morning (I planned to start early and aimed to finish hiking early afternoon).

I wanted to make the most of the kiosk and showers at Ormiston Gorge between sections 9 and 10.

I had a clear timeframe, so I could confidently organise a pickup time from Redbank Gorge.

Getting started early on the long days to avoid the afternoon sun. Photo: Ben Trewren

When to Go

I was on the trail for the last week of August and the first week of September. The weather was incredibly kind to me with a daily average of 26°C and only two days above 30°C. This was such a relief as I was tormented with temperatures in the mid 30°C the week before, and similar forecasts the week after I completed the trail. Overnight was also quite mild. I never needed more than a fleece jumper and found sleeping pretty easy.

It was also a very quiet time. In total, I saw around 50 people on the trail and camped with no more than 5 people at a time. Much different to the stories from the peak period through June and July. Overall, the weather will be the biggest consideration for you when deciding to hit the trail. I was really happy with my time of year – not too hot during the day and no frostbite to my key body parts overnight.

I had clear bright blue skies every day whilst on the trail.  Photo: Ben Trewren

Duration of the trail

Having allocated myself 14 days on the trail, my navigation plan was constantly changing in the lead-up. However, I was really happy with my final decision. Hiking for 13 days and taking the opportunity for a rest day on Day 11 at Ormiston Gorge.

In a nutshell, I took a day to hike each of sections 1-8. I then split 9 in half over two days, before taking a rest day. Then 10 and half of 11 in a day, the second half of 11 the following day and then 12 on the final day. While on my day off, I tackled the Ormiston Pound Walk.

Logbooks were provided by NT Parks and Wildlife at every trailhead. Photo: Ben Trewren. 

Flights & Accommodation

I booked my flights to Alice Springs with Qantas using my Frequent Flyer points. It’s a 2-hour flight and there’s one flight a day from Adelaide to Alice Springs that usually arrives around 1 pm. And there’s another from Alice Springs to Adelaide which usually departs around 2 pm. I think it’s a very similar arrangement from other major cities.

I was fortunate to have friends who live in Alice Springs who generously picked me up and dropped me off at the airport, and gave me a place to stay. However, if you’re not as lucky as me, you can catch a shuttle for around $15 (cash) into Alice Springs Town Centre. Or a Taxi is anywhere between $30-$50 depending on your location.

Alice Springs has a range of accommodation like hostels, motels, and hotels which are all relatively affordable for what’s offered. When looking for accommodation, research pricing and then try and pick one a location close to the other services you’ll need (supermarkets, outdoor store, Visitor Information Centre, etc.).

Arriving in Alice Springs. Photo: Ben Trewren

How long does it take to complete?

One of the most adventurous things about the Larapinta Trail is that you can flexibly and safely choose your own adventure. I met some people aiming to complete the trail in 9 days, whereas I met others on their 20th day. It really does come down to how you want to tackle the challenge. I decided based on how much walking I thought I could complete each day (around 18-20kms), access to water and that I only had 2 weeks leave available.

Upon completing the Larapinta Trail, my longest day was 31.3kms through Section 6. My shortest day was 13.5kms through Section 7.

Try to avoid focusing on the km’s marked on the trail signs as they’re frequently incorrect (due to trail maintenance, changes, etc.). For the lightweight hikers – you can save a bit of weight by allocating maps to your food drop boxes.

Often, trailheads provided as much information as the maps did… Photo: Ben Trewren

Navigation

While I don’t recommend them because they lack map detail and the information (especially trail data) is frequently incorrect, as they’re currently the only option, it’s worthwhile getting your hands on the NT Parks and Wildlife map set available here. I got word on the trail that Larapinta Trail Trek Support (LTTS) are looking to create their own maps with far greater map detail. They also want to include more interactive information on the flora, fauna, history, cultural heritage, etc., which will be a fantastic improvement.

In saying all this, the trail is incredibly well marked with the familiar blue arrows on the white signs. Because of the abundance of signage, you often wonder whether there is a need for maps or a GPS.

Just follow the blue arrows… Photo: Ben Trewren

Food Drops & Trail Support

I paid LTTS for the End to End Solo Package and couldn’t be happier with my decision. Included in the package are 3 food drops at Standley Chasm, Ellery Creek and Ormiston Gorge along with box collection after I’d passed through (allowing me to unload gear if need be).

The package also included transfer back to Alice Springs from Redbank Gorge at the end of my walk, stove fuel provisions (as it can’t be transported on a plane), organisation of the food box room keys, PLB and SPOT hire and support and advice towards my navigation plans.

I highly recommend Zac and his team from LTTS to support you when undertaking the Larapinta Trail – they offer a huge amount of support for a range of requests.

My food boxes all packed and ready to give to LTTS before the start of my trek. Photo: Ben Trewren

Other gear to leave in your food boxes

Aside from food, your food boxes are a fantastic place for a change of clothes, batteries, toiletries and extra rewards like bottles of Gatorade.

They’re also fantastic for dumping gear you no longer needed on the trail (like my down jacket), no longer wanted (books that I didn’t have the energy to read) or became unusable (certain pairs of underwear).

Put an obvious rubbish bag in your Ellery Creek box. Unlike Standley Chasm and Ormiston Gorge, there are no bins and LTTS will need to take your rubbish for you. Double layer it if necessary to prevent the smell penetrating everything else in your box.

While LTTS help organise the pickup and return of your food box room key, you need to book it yourself. It’s easy enough by just calling Alice Springs Tourism Centre and paying your $50 deposit plus $10 fee over the phone. However, be mindful that the keys can book out (especially in peak periods) and then you need to rely on others. So for peace of mind, get in early on this one.

Picking up my food box at Ormiston Gorge. Photo: Ben Trewren

Food I took for the trek

I kept my menu varied and easy as I didn’t want to be consumed with ‘cooking’ along with my hike.

Here are some of the options I carried:

Breakfast – Muesli with Powdered Milk & Fruit Puree

Snacks – Lollies, Dried Fruit, Shapes, M&Ms, Dehydrated Fruit Straps

Lunch – Crackers, Tuna, Metwurst, Peanut Butter, Cheese

Dinner – Soup Powder, Dehydrated Meals

Looking back I would probably pack more salty snack options to assist with rehydration. For me, this would’ve looked like more soup powder, salty nuts and any other savoury snacks.

Some tips for the dehydrated meals:

Add a bit of extra water to assist with an alternative way of rehydrating.

Wait 20 minutes rather than 10 minutes for the food to rehydrate for better flavour and texture.

Eat straight from the bag (there’s a slit halfway down the pack to rip across and make it easy to eat from) so there’s no washing up.

I personally found the Back Country 1 serve sizes fine for my appetite, but recognise that I’m not a big eater.

Cottage Pie they reckon! One of my favourite rehydrated meals on the trip Photo: Ben Trewren

What kind of food is available at the Kiosk?

The usual cold drinks, ice-creams and chocolate bars are available at both kiosks. But it’s the range of homemade and fresh options that I really craved – especially when spending 14 days on a hiking trail.

At Standley Chasm, I had the Lasagna ($18) which came with three generous serves of salad. They’re also open for dinner Thursday to Saturday. I came through on a Saturday so I made the most of the fresh food and had a Steak with a massive bowl of steamed veggies for dinner.

Upon arriving at Ormiston Gorge, I tucked into their Big Breakfast ($16), while also enjoying their Salad ($10) and Steak Sandwich ($10) over the course of my stay. They also do a ripper of an Iced Coffee and the cakes are worth every cent. They were also very generous to package up a Lamb and Rice ($10) for me to reheat at dinner time.

Breakfast at Ormiston Gorge Kiosk. So good. Photo: Ben Trewren

Boots & Gaiters

The important thing to know about the Larapinta Trail is that there are rocks, rocks, rocks and more rocks. This is why you need boots that offer support. The second important thing to know is that the trail conditions exceeded my expectations. Not once did I feel like the trail wasn’t ‘clear’ to hike through so it wasn’t necessary to have epic amounts of ‘protection’.

I hiked in a pair of pretty solid Scarpa Kailash GTX boots. Upon reflection, I would’ve opted for a lighter and more breathable pair of boots that still offered support. Most importantly, make sure your soles are in good nick and are durable enough to handle the rocky terrain. It’s not uncommon to hear of people’s boots disintegrating mid-trail because they lacked quality or they had been overused prior to starting. I saw one lady wearing Dunlop Volleys?!

I’m also very grateful for the advice I received beforehand to hike in shorts with ankle gaiters because that’s all I needed. I also really appreciated the ventilation from this combination. I did see a few people with trousers that zip off into shorts, which are also a great clothing option. Because the trail is in such good condition, I only experienced an occasional brush with spinifex. You always felt like you could clearly see what was on the trail. In saying all this, I didn’t even see a single snake!

Giving the feet a break and celebrating the Bombers making the AFL finals! Photo: Ben Trewren

Clothing to wear on the trail

Clothing is something I ummed and ahhed about a lot as I felt there was a fine line between getting it right and wrong. Knowing that I have a pretty warm body, but also cautious of how bitterly cold Central Australian nights can be during the winter months, it was tough to call.

I hiked in shorts and a t-shirt that were lightweight, breathable, and also super durable. On my feet, I wore my trusted Wigwam Merino Socks to look after my feet (which they did 95% of the time).

I carried a fleece sweater (which was all I needed when temperatures dropped) and a spare t-shirt to change into. At the start I had a pair of long compression tights and a down jacket, however, once I realised that overnight temperatures weren’t that cold for me, I left my jacket in a food box.

I found the compression tights fantastic to wear upon arriving at camp. Especially as they gave me the peace of mind that they would hold my legs together when I seriously doubted they would on their own.

At my halfway food box at Ellery Creek, I included a second change of clothes. I also threw fresh undies and socks into every food box (thanks, Forrest Gump) and included a fresh t-shirt for my day off at Ormiston Gorge.

On top of Brinkley Bluff. Photo: Ben Trewren

Doing laundry

I carried all my clothes in a Scrubba Wash Dry Bag because it has a range of advantages. It easily holds everything I wear, keeps out dust and moisture and has a valve for expelling air for packing. Most beneficial, however, is that when I needed to wash my clothes it did a fantastic job of breaking down the gunk without wasting too much precious water.

Don’t forget to also take along a clothesline to dry your clothes on after giving them a good scrub.

Washing day on the trail. Photo: Ben Trewren

Sleeping gear for Larapinta

When it came to sleeping, I trusted my Sea to Summit Basecamp II Bag and Thermolite Reactor Extreme Liner to get the job done, so I slept in very little, sometimes nothing which gave the skin a chance to just take it easy and breathe. Very happy with this plan of attack.

Shelter

In order to save weight and knowing I had spent over 300 nights in a swag before, I decided on a bivvy bag as my shelter. I knew that many of the trailheads already had platforms established, with shelter options available, and that packing my bivvy only required ‘stuffing’ – so I was pretty confident with my choice.

The usual setup at camp. Photo: Ben Trewren

Should you bring a tent?

Overall, I was happy and unphased with this decision until getting to Ormiston Gorge where I had thrown my 1-man Zempire Atom tent into my food box so that I had some ‘sense of security’ for leaving my gear unattended during my day off as well as when I would head to summit Mount Sonder a few days later from Redbank Gorge.

Upon picking my tent up and using it, I realised the peace of mind it gave me compared to my bivvy. At night, I could go to bed and zip up the inner and automatically my fears of what ‘may’ happen decreased. I felt much more comfortable to put a podcast in my ears because I didn’t feel the need to hear what was happening around me. I also didn’t stress about pesky mice getting into my gear as much.

In hindsight, I’m still undecided whether I would opt to carry the extra weight and spend the extra time pitching and packing up the tent for the entire journey. But I certainly appreciated ending the trip with the comfort of the tent.

Enjoying the view of Mount Sonder from the tent. Photo: Ben Trewren

Additional gear Packing Tips

Toiletries

Lip Balm and Moisturiser are worth throwing into your toiletries because the dry air will wreak havoc on your skin.

Tea Tree Oil helps manage the funky smells and germs coming from your feet.

Hand Sanitiser is definitely worth it because water is scarce, plus you need to stay on top of your hygiene.

Wilderness Wash and Wipes are a must because they’re bio-degradable and soft on the environment and they give you an opportunity to wash  – either yourself, your dishes or clothes.

Tools and accessories

Overcome the fear of the stigma, and grab yourself a set of hiking poles. They’ll improve your balance, take the strain off your legs, provide support and at the worst, protect you against a raging animal.

Small tweezers/Splinter Probes are fantastic for dealing with endless prickles and if needed, draining blisters.

Carry a

Making the most of the sun and charging the batteries. Photo: Ben Trewren

Hydration Gear

Nuun Active tablets as they’re low in sugar and carbohydrates and are available in a range of fruity flavours.

Comfort gear

Throw in a packable daypack for when you reach Redbank Gorge. You won’t need to carry a full pack up Mount Sonder, just the essentials.

Have some foam to sit on. The comfort is really appreciated by your bum and it offers fantastic protection against the prickles. I personally loved the Thermarest Z-Seat.

Sitting at the top of Serpentine Gorge at the end of section 7. Photo: Ben Trewren

Where to go from here?

In the second part of my Larapinta series, I talk about what to expect on the trail – water sources, facilities, camps, phone reception, hazards and leaving no trace on the track.

Are you prepping for a big hike like Larapinta? What do you think is the most challenging part? 

The post Hiking Larapinta Part 1: Preparation appeared first on Snowys Blog.

Sticking with the Dexcom G4?

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/sticking-with-the-dexcom-g4/

Sticking with the Dexcom G4?

Editor's Note: This is not a formal product review, like the one we published in November; this is a post about a personal relationship with a piece of essential technology.

Just about exactly one year ago, I reported discovering that I was happier when not wearing a CGM. Now the Dexcom G4 has come along and changed my mind, again.

As noted in our 2012 Revelations post, when continuous glucose monitoring is accurate and user-friendly, I find it to be an incredible tool that actually becomes difficult to live without!

I've been living with the G4 since mid-November, am actually enjoying the experience, and feeling pretty darn lost when I'm disconnected. It is not perfect -- but what a difference from the older model!

Specifically, my complaints with older-generation CGM were:

- itchy, uncomfortable adhesive that often wouldn't stay put

- far too many unnecessary beeps (overnight!!), with sounds not adjustable either in tone or volume

- too limited transmission range, which caused mine to poop out multiple times a day

- LOTS of inaccurate readings, or at least numbers that didn't hardly match up with my fingerstick meter

- as one reader noted, CGM sensors tend to be "fussy little devices" and that old egg-shaped, black-and-white-screen receiver did not appeal to me at all.

With this next generation, Dexcom has addressed nearly all of these issues, and certainly made the device 100% more liveable, if you ask me. And liveable is what it's all about, right? Because no patients will get any value out of tech devices that they cannot stand to live with on a daily basis.

Sticky Issues

I'll admit I had a rough start with the G4. The first three or four sensors I tried simply refused to stick to me for more than 2 or 3 days. As you may know, I've always had skin issues with medical adhesives, and was beginning to think I'd have to rule out the G4 on teflon troubles alone.

But the Dexcom rep came to the rescue with a whole host of suggestions:

- use a loufa scrub to exfoliate the dead skin on your site area before insertion

- steer clear of steamy bathrooms when making site changes

- put pressure on all sides of the dressing when you first adhere it

- possibly use a ziplock baggie to cover the sensor while showering (OK, this one's a pain in the #@$!)

- when exercising, use deodorant around the site to ward off perspiration

- try Skin Tac wipes from Torbot for site prep

- when using prep wipes, be sure to leave the middle spot dry where sensor wire will penetrate the skin

- if the adhesive gets "ruffly" during wear, trim the edges

- for additional paste-down, try Blenderm Medical Tape from 3M

I went out and bought the first loufa of my life, and discovered that it's nice to exfoliate (!), especially in hard-to-reach itchy spots. But back to the CGM: it does seem to help, because between loufa-ing and the Skin Tac wipes, my sensors are sticking incredibly well now! And they hardly itch, either.

Helpful disclosures on above tips: Watch out for Skin Tac! It works great, but it's like superglue on your fingers, so have a medical adhesive remover wipe handy as an antidote; using deodorant around the site before exercising was a disgusting mess -- not recommended!; spending an extra minute or two pressing down the adhesive when first inserted seems worth the time, if a little funny-looking to anyone sharing your bathroom; and pasting a ziplock to your belly before showering?! I think not! That's worse than the first-gen CGM, which required special waterproof covers, and those at least were mostly custom fit with built-in adhesive. I have not yet tried the Blenderm Tape, and would only consider this as a last resort ('cause medical tape all over my tummy is way-low on my "live-ability" list, of course!)

Speaking of Live-ability

Why do I find this model so much more appealing? First off, accuracy. In almost two months of wear, I haven't found the readings more than 20 points off what I'm getting on my OmniPod's built-in meter, so I have a sense of trust in CGM for the first time ever.

Because of the increased accuracy, it's no longer like living with a fussy newborn, bound to set off screaming at any time of day or night for no compelling reason. Nope, I've only had to hide it in my underwear drawer once in nearly eight weeks -- and that was a night where I really was hovering too close to my low alarm range.

The increased transmission range (quadrupled up to 20 feet!) is also a HUGE factor for me. I can now go into the next room, or even upstairs sometimes, come back and discover no interruption in my continuous glucose readings -- fantastic! AND, when it does lose the signal, it seems to take just a few minutes to reconnect once I'm back in range, without going all haywire and showing me ??? messages and crazy-off readings like the older model did.

Everything else is pretty much about the form factor. Design Matters! I'd like to shout that from the rooftops!

This thing looks and feels far more like modern consumer technology, and the color screen makes an incredible difference for me. I can't even explain why, but the screen "pops" and speaks to me a thousand times more than the old drab shades-of-grey screen did. I guess for anyone who grew up with color TV (hello, I'm not that old!), color creates a visceral reaction necessary for us to "wake up and smell the coffee," so to speak.

Of course, you now get color options for the Receiver unit itself. I chose Ocean Blue. But since most of us carry our Dex in that still-dorky black case most of the time, we don't get much benefit from the fun cover colors, IMHO.

You can set the alarm tones to Vibrate, Soft, or Normal, so basically two volume settings -- which is one more than we had before! I prefer "Soft," which is plenty loud, especially when you are sleeping, believe me. Aside from the "Normal" beep, you can also choose a tone called "Attentive," a funky digital jingle that I don't find appealing at all -- but again, it's more user choice than we've ever had with a CGM in the past.

Things Unchanged

As noted in our earlier review by Wil Dubois, the inserter contraption has not changed one bit ("same dental tool from hell," he writes -- he, he!) I would have liked something with less of a voilent plunge, but I still find it better than Medtronic's inserter beast, and at least the insertion is over in seconds and only required once every seven days.

What surprises me is the claim that the sensor is now 60% smaller. Sixty percent is a lot! But as a user, I find the sensor doesn't feel one bit smaller. In fact, the rounded top makes it feel even a little more protruding than the old squared-off design. But the softer corners definitely add to a sense of increased comfort.

I just watched Dexcom's promo video again for perspective, and had to smirk at those models looking so delighted to carry their Receivers around, checking them every 20 seconds while exercising, eating, sleeping, walking, etc. What remains unchanged for me as a drawback of CGM wear overall is the constant nagging obligation to keep track of yet another device that needs calibrating and charging, and beeps at me after every meal plus plenty of other times too. Shoot! Did I leave it on the bedside table? Or in that jacket pocket? Did I forget the charger on this trip...? Oh shut up now, I know I'm high after breakfast! Geez...

Trade-Off Hurdles

Yes, I am grateful (moreso now than ever) for the insight CGM gives me into my ever-changing BG levels. But the choice we have to make with every diabetes / medical tool available is whether the benefit is worth the trade-off in hassle and aggravation. Does it actually make your life with diabetes better, or just more complicated?

As far as the G4 sensor and Receiver go, I'd say Dexcom finally cleared the trade-off hurdle. Hooray! I'm planning to stick with this one for a good long while.

My next challenge is to start playing with the new Dexcom Studio Software, which I've just now downloaded on my PC, but would prefer to use on my MacBook, truth be told. This new logging software is supposed to be Mac compatible, but other early users report that the USB driver for the G4 doesn't seem to be working on iMac, so you may need to download the data using a PC and then move it yourself to iMac, every time you want to download data. Ugh! See statement above about making life better versus more complicated.

For me personally, no logging tool has cleared the trade-off hurdle for continuous use yet, but I remain hopeful, as always.

[Please note: Dexcom Disclosure. I was not paid to write about this product; all opinions are personal and completely uncensored.]

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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