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#like every once in a while since i was a teen i'd be like 'but what if i'm autistic... nah it can't be because of X or Y'
wachi-delectrico · 2 years
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Recently thinking about whether I am one of the funny Autistics or not
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eddiezpaghetti · 4 months
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It has come to my attention that SOME OF YOU who read my last Byler post remain UNCONVINCED. So I'm gonna tack onto it this:
I'm older than fucking God and air, and I've been out and proud since 2007. Yes, I know what homophobia is, and yes, I know what queerbaiting is. I know about Supernatural and Teen Wolf and Sherlock and blahdyblahdyblah. No new ground is being covered here. I thought I made that clear in the original post, but, clearly, I did not.
I am aware of queerbaiting and homophobia, and I'm still wholeheartedly certain in Byler being canon anyway.
Okay, so there are three types of relationship I want to discuss when it comes to queerbaiting. They're all, like, "queer relationships that could have happened, but didn't".
First off, queer-coding. This isn't really a thing so much anymore, but it still crops up every once in a while. I'd argue it probably happens most with male-male relationships in family shows these days. First example that comes to mind is Mr. Smiley and Mr. Frowny from Steven Universe. You can't make a relationship canon because some shitty overhead bastard overhead said no, so you get as close as you can without compromising the show. Can't make someone gay? Well, now their comedy routine is a blatant allegory for a romantic relationship. Boom-shaka-laka. This is something I don't see being a problem with regards to Stranger Things, but I want it to be there as contrast, a demonstration of one of many things queerbaiting is not. However, one could argue that, thus far, Will Byers is, canonically, queer-coded. It's pretty fucking heavily implied in the show, and the creators have confirmed it, and you're gonna be able to see it if you're not FUCKING BLIND, but word of god is not technically canon which means that interviews don't technically make something canon, blahdyblahdyblahdyblah, technicalities, Robin has been explicitly stated in the text to be queer while Will has, thus far, not, outside of good ol' Show-Don't-Tell. Of course, anyone with two brain cells to rub together can tell that that's going to change by the end of Season 5, but, hey, for what it's worth, I'm throwing this out there.
Alrighty, Thingamajingama Number Two: "Oops, I accidentally made the greatest love story known to man." AKA, a genuine, honest-to-goodness mistake. Unfortunately, we do live in a heteronormative society. Sometimes people who don't think about being gay much write a friendship that's incredibly compelling and don't even consider the possibility that it could have been read as romantic. Something something Top Gun something. This is, again, not queerbaiting. This is Steddie, this is Ronance, this is Elmax, this is your favorite flavor of non-canon ship this week, this is not Byler. The creators know DAMN well what they're doing. They've talked about it. We know this. Nothing new here.
Which brings us to the topic of discussion here. Actual queerbaiting. This usually starts out as an "accidental greatest love story", and then reacts to fan response. And when I say "reacts", I mean like a goddamn chemical reaction. Like bleach and ammonia, bitch. It's noxious and it's gonna kick your fucking ass without mercy. This is when a creator is like, "Hey, let's get our queer audience invested, but we're not actually going to give them what they want because our straight audience isn't here for that/we personally think it's gross/we don't give enough of a shit to want to research a goddamn thing to write a real gay character," blah blah blah whatever excuse they want to come up with this time.
And when you think "queerbaiting", I want you to think "bullying". Because that's what it is. It's lucrative bullying, like beating us up and taking our lunch money, but it's bullying all the same. And it's a real goddamn thing, even if people misuse the word a lot, often when they mean one of the two above, sometimes when they mean "bury your gays", which is another homophobic thing entirely that I'm not going to get into here. Queerbaiting is the thing we're focused on, and it's real, and it's bullying. And here's the reason I want you to think of it as bullying:
They
Think
It's
Funny.
They are actively making fun of us.
That's why Dean had the "Cas, get out of my ass," line in Supernatural. It's why the "Do you like boys?" line happened in Teen Wolf. It's why "Lie with me, Watson," happened in the RDJ Sherlock Holmes movies. Because "It's just a joke, mate." "It was just a prank, bro." "You didn't really think it would happen, did you?" "You should see your face."
So here's probably the biggest reason I don't think it's specifically queerbaiting in this specific instance of Will Byers and Mike Wheeler.
Stranger Things has never, not once, made a gay joke. Ever.
Every single time queerness comes up, it's dead serious.
Lonnie calls Will a fag, and the show is not at all reluctant to show what a goddamn horrible person he is. And when Hopper latches onto that, it's not as "Hahah, is he gay, though?" It's because he's trying to determine a potential motive for Will's disappearance, and even if someone had interpreted it as a joke, Joyce immediately has a line that functions as snapping her fingers in front of the audience's face and yelling "FOCUS" when she says "He's MISSING." Basically outright saying "This isn't funny!"
Troy calls him a fairy, along with targeting Lucas and Dustin for their skin color and disability respectively, and Mike gets damn near murderous. Troy is portrayed as a goddamn monster and the show portrays it as justice when El makes him piss his pants and later breaks his arm.
Steve calls Jonathan "queer" as a slur and gets the shit beat out of him for it.
Billy's father is revealed to be homophobic and abusive in the same breath.
Mike says "It's not my fault you don't like girls!" and we're shown how devastated Will is and Mike immediately follows him to beg for forgiveness.
There is a joke in Robin's coming-out scene, but it's not at Robin's expense. It's at Steve's. Specifically for being heteronormative.
Jonathan has multiple scenes where he's trying so hard to tell Will that he's always going to love him as he is, whether he's gay or not, without pressuring him to come out before he's ready.
Even when there's a little bit of ribbing at Robin's expense, it's always because she's an awkward nerd who's nervous around pretty girls, just the same as Lucas and Dustin are teased when they both first develop crushes on Max, and even then, even then, it always comes as a package deal where they make fun of Steve's girl problems at the same time.
Stranger Things is an emphatically pro-gay show. It may not be the core point of the show the way it is in, say, Our Flag Means Death, but there is nothing less than respect for its queer characters. Its queer characters are always taken completely seriously. No one is making fun of us. They never have. That's why I have serious doubts that this is queerbaiting. It would come completely out of left field for the bullying to start in Stranger Things' final season.
So it's not at all likely to be queerbaiting because queerness is taken completely seriously. The creators have talked about Will's queerness, at least, so it's not an accident. And queer-coding would be silly to expect from this show when it's already on its final season. Like, what is Netflix gonna do? Cancel it? Not to mention all the explicit queerness that's in there already. And no one's gonna "What about the children?" a show that's had sex scenes in it since the first season.
There's no fakeout here. It's gonna happen. Breathe.
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barleyo · 3 months
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Roll of the Dice.
Armin Arlert X Fem! Reader (smut)
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A/N: Heyyy I hope y'all enjoy this piece, sorry if it seems rushed! I got this idea after overhearing a few friends talking about D&D and I knew I needed to make something Armin related for it!
Tags: older brother! Eren, brother's best friend trope, semi-public sex, slightly perv! Armin, nerdy shit, loss of virginity, male sub (?), handjobs, cream pie, unprotected sex
"Eren, where are you going?" (Y/N) crept down the stairs, her socks padding her steps. "Goin' out?"
Her brother nodded. "It's game night," he reminded her quietly, keeping his voice hushed since it was rather late.
"God, is hanging out with your little nerd troupe all you do?" She made her way down the stairs completely and felt herself gravitate towards the door with him.
"Whatever," he sneered, rolling his eyes. "Are you coming with me tonight or not?"
"Well, who's gonna be there? You know how I feel about some of your acquaintances."
"Most of 'em are busy tonight, but, uh, Connie, Sasha, Jean, Mikasa--"
"Jean? Really?" (Y/N) grimaced a bit. He was one of his friends that she couldn't stand. "Who's hosting?"
"If you'd give me a second, I'd be able to answer." Eren grabbed his keys off of the hook and pocketed them after giving (Y/N) and annoyed look. "Armin's hosting tonight."
Every Saturday night, her brother and his friend group, who she found to be absolute geeks, would meet up at one of their houses to play D&D. She could never grasp the game, but she often stuck around to keep her brother company during the matches...
Or that's what she told herself. Really, deep down, she knew she tagged along for Eren's childhood friend, Armin. He was the biggest nerd out of the whole group, but she had always been attracted to him. Even as kids, she was stuck to him like white on snow, never daring to leave her side. Eren's other friends would tease (Y/N) for her clinginess to the blond boy, but oddly enough, it didn't bother either of them. Armin was always patient, and she was always grateful for that.
Sleepovers, birthday parties, play dates, and as they got older 'hang out sessions.' Whenever Armin was at their house, (Y/N) was sure to be close to him. It started off simply enough: asking him if she could play with them as children, inviting him to play tea party with her and her stuffed animals (which he couldn't turn down, no matter how much he wanted to), and asking him to push her on the swing. Over time, however, it progressed. Once they had all grown into teens, she took a sharp... romantic edge with him. She'd snuggle up to him on movies nights and hide her head in his neck when she was scared, anything to be close to him. 
"Alright, I'll come tonight," she said. She grabbed her shoes from their spot in front of the door and urged Eren with her hands to get going.
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"Oh, glad you guys could make it! Come on in, everyone else is already here." 
Armin held his front door open for the two, giving his trademarked 'sweet, yet constantly nervous' looking smile. 
"Thanks, man." Eren stepped inside, walking through the foyer to get to the group while (Y/N) staggered behind a bit to speak to Armin.
He shut the door and stood with his feet loosely planted. "So, uh, (Y/N), I didn't see you last week for game night."
"Hah, sorry to give you the slip like that. What, were you waiting up for me?" She could see his face warming up a bit, and she loved every second of it.
"No-! I mean, not exactly. I just thought I'd see you, you know. I-It was an exciting match, you would've had fun."
She quirked a brow at him, crossing her arms. "I would've had fun watching you guys play?"
"Well, that's why you come, isn't it? Plus, you don't have to just watch. I can teach you how to play. If you'd like that, I mean. Just, uhm--"
"Guys, hurry up. Connie's getting restless," Eren called from the living room.
"Yeah, I don't have forever to kick it with you guys," Connie said, audibly crunching chips while he spoke.
"Please, what else do you have going on, Con?" 
The distinct bickering continued in the background while Armin turned back to face (Y/N). "That's our cue, I suppose."
"Finally." Eren was perched lazily on a beanbag chair near the coffee table where the board was set up. "Let's get this party started, eh, guys?"
A soft cheer came from everyone.
(Y/N) scanned the scene quickly. Armin, of course, was sitting in the floor at the head of the table, like he always did. It was the best seat in the house, in his opinion, and as the Dungeon Master, he got first choice of seats. 
Eren and Mikasa were already sitting together, and she didn't want to third-wheel them. She liked Connie and Sasha, and she wouldn't mind sitting with them both, but she really didn't feel like getting snack crumbs all over her throughout the game from her two messy friends.
That left Jean.
She didn't absolutely despise him, but his energy was always off. His hugs lasted too long, and he made weird comments towards the girls in the group. It seemed that she would have to toughen up and sit next to him for the night.
"Hey, (Y/N)?" Armin spoke from behind the Dungeon Master screen. "Would you want to sit with me tonight? That way you could see how to play."
Thank god for Armin, her little angel in disguise!
She immediately went over to him and took a seat on his lap, taking him a bit by surprise, but nobody in the group seemed to care much. She got herself comfortable and scanned over the various manuals and rules in the guide books in front of them both.
"Alright. Let's play!" (Y/N) said, giving a half-grin.
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"The gang of orcs raise their weapons and challenge your troupe, how do you proceed--?" Armin's voice hitched in his throat.
(Y/N) began to mindlessly grind down on him, actually paying attention to the game in front of her for once. Armin was right, she was starting to enjoy it, but as she got lost in the game, her body started to act on its own.
"I grab my sword and raise it to the air, charging the monsters with my team following close behind."
"Eren, wait, we didn't agree on that," Connie whined, "I'm already injured from the last fight."
"Don't be such a pussy, you can tough it out."
"Stop bickering," Mikasa snapped at the two playfully, "you're both like two children."
"Armin, can you pass me the pretzels? Just slide the bowl over here, big dog." Sasha leaned forward over the table, ready to receive the large bowl of snacks.
He snorted at the name and obliged, pushing the bowl with his finger tips. However, as he pulled his arm back, he knocked his drink back onto not only his lap, but the girl on his lap.
"Shit! I'm so sorry, (Y/N)!" His voice was filled with sheer panic. "Shit, shit, shit, it's all over your shirt."
"It's fine, don't worry," she assured him. "Here, just take me to your room. I'll change into one of your shirts for the rest of the night and all will be forgiven, alright?"
He exhaled and nodded. She led him up the stairs to his room, walking through the halls like she knew the house like the back of her hand. 
"Here, you can go change in the bathroom," he spun around with a clean shirt in his arms, only to be met by (Y/N) already stripping. "Oh... or, I-I can leave!" He turned back around throwing his hands over his glasses and heading to the door.
"Armin," she said his name is her most sultry tone, "come back. Don't be shy." 
Her shirt and bra were long gone, leaving her bare chested in the cold room. Round buds caught Armin's attention, her pert nipples hardening at the air. 
"(Y/N), I don't think we should--"
"Then don't think. Don't think, and come here." She grabbed his hand and yanked him over to her. Wrapping her arms around his neck she leaned in close to his face and offered her lips to him. "I want this. Don't you?" She peered at him from behind her fluttering eyelashes, lips pouting. 
With that, he gave in. His kiss was eager, but precise and neat. It surprised her, most guys kissed as if they hee sex was the end goal: rushed and messy, letting their teeth clash against hers in the most unsexy way possible. But not Armin. Everything about him was tender and sweet. 
She wondered what it would take for him to get messy.
Breaking from the kiss, she pushed him to the corner of his bed. She fiddled with the zipper of his jeans and freed his leaking cock from his boxers.
"Wait, I want to make you feel good first," he protested, trying to flip the script and put her body under his.
"Hush. If you want me to feel good, you'll let me do what I wanna do, right?"
He slowly nodded as his face started to heat up. "R-right."
"Exactly. Now, do you like how this feels? When I use my hand like this?"
He felt her grab his length and give it a few teasing pumps, up and down, slow and firm. His cock kicked a bit in her palm.
"Please don't stop," Armin huffed, covering his mouth with his hand. It felt amazing, but he knew the walls in his house were thin; the others could hear them both if they were too loud.
She craned her neck over his lap as she stood in front of him. Thick, stretchy dribbled of spit connected with his tip. She smeared the spit and mixed it with his pre cum, rubbing her thumb around the thick head.
It was mean, she knew, but she had an idea. She crouched down to her knees and gave him a cheeky look. Her lips connected to his tip with a soft, sweet kiss. She gently opened her mouth to take his length, opening just enough for his tip. Hee tongue trailed around it, taking purchase specifically of a thick vein on the underside of his cock.
His pre cum left a glossy stain around her mouth and he shuddered at the view. He gripped the blanket under his and felt his cock twitch and fill her mouth, all too quickly.
"Oh my god," he whispered. "I didn't mean to do that so quickly, I'm sorry! I-it's just that you're so pretty and your mouth is so warm and wet," he explained while his face grew beet red. A gasp escaped his chest when she swallowed his cum, licking her lips and grinning.
"You're adorable." She removed her mouth from him with a pop. 
Armin grunted and his face visibly cringed. 'Adorable' wasn't what he was trying to go for, especially not during sex. "No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are. You're so cute. I bet you're a virgin too, aren't you?" She cooed at him playfully, but it stung a bit.
He was, in fact, a virgin, but he felt the need to prove himself to her. He could cope with cumming early, that was relatively fine, but he knew how to pleasure a woman, and (Y/N) needed to know that he could. Porn and assorted hentai games had taught him well, he was just waiting for the chance to try out his moves.
"I'll show you what this virgin can do," he challenged. "Lay down, right here."
She took her place in the middle of his bed, laying flat on her back. "Like this?"
"Mm, stay still." He slotted himself between her legs on the bed. His hands made quick work of her shorts and panties, tossing them behind him into a crumpled pile on the floor. 
With his cock already sprung free, he moved his tip through her folds, collecting her slick over it. It was his turn to tease, his turn to make sure that she had more than her fill. And he knew exactly how, so he slid his length in to the hilt, bottoming out in her.
(Y/N) let her eyes squeeze shut. The initial sharpness of his thrust eventually eased into a soft wave of pleasure. 
"Hey, keep your eyes open, okay? I wanna see them. They're so pretty," he said, wiping the pricked tear from the corner of her eye. 
Armin's hips reeled back so he could start a steadier pace. He made short strokes, only pulling himself out of her halfway. When he pushed back into her cunt, he rutted into her, nudging his greedy cock into her most sensitive spot.
"You're so good at this, 's not fair. You-- oh, fuck!" Her legs started to wobble a bit, she could feel them starting to give out on her.
"You're so adorable," he mimicked her earlier words with a whisper, leaning down to her ear. He gave the lobe a nibble and traced his tongue around the shell of it.
Once her walls started to spasm around him intermittently, he knew he had her right on the edge of her orgasm.
"Are you gonna cum? I feel you clenching on me, you must be close." He tried to keep his voice steady, but the rasp in it gave away how close he also was. "Give it to me, (Y/N). You know you want to."
"Yes, I wanna cum so bad," she gasped sharply, gripping the fabric of his shirt. Her clenching started up again, but this time it was much more powerful. 
Armin hissed through his teeth, feeling the grip her cunt had around him. He couldn't pry himself out in time, and let his seed spill out, shooting deep into her. 
Neither of them moved for a moment. Armin was still inside, enjoying the thick, wet warmth. 
"You know, for a used-to-be-virgin, you fucked me real good, 'Min." (Y/N) shifted in the bed, turning to face the boy. She brushed a lock of his blond hair behind his ear and wiped at the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead.
"Ah, you think so? Maybe you should come over next week too, and we'll see if I can top my current high score."
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lucy90712 · 12 days
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babysitting- Gavi
"I know it's last minute but would you mind babysitting today your dad and I have to head out of town tonight we'll be back tomorrow morning I'll give you money for dinner and everything" my mum said on the phone 
"Of course I need to ask Pablo but I'm sure he'd be fine with it I'll let you know as soon as I've got a reply" I said 
It's not often that my parents ask me to babysit. My little brother Milo was a surprise to say the least but despite me being old enough to help out once he was born they very rarely ask and any time they do they always pay me like they would any other babysitter. I would love to just say yes to help them out but now that I live with Pablo in his house I don't think it's right for me to just have my brother with us without him knowing. All it took was a quick text and Pablo answered straight away saying that it was more than ok so I let my mum know she can come over whenever. 
It was then that I realised I wasn't at all ready I'd organised all of this while still in bed so I hopped out of bed and got ready at lightening speed and started on child proofing the house as best as I could. Seeing as Pablo and I are still in our teens and definitely not ready to have kids of our own his house isn't exactly child proof every piece of furniture seems to have sharp corners and there are plenty of uncovered plug sockets. Past me had thought that one day I may need to babysit so I did pre buy some things so all I had to do was find them and put them out. It took me quite a while but just as I finished doing as much as I could the doorbell rang and as soon as it was open I was nearly taken out by Milo who for someone so little has a lot of strength. My parents were in a rush but they gave me everything they have at home that I'd need before heading straight off to where they needed to be. 
In the way little kids do he had a ton of energy so I suggested we play with some of his toys that my mum had given me. It's been so long since I let my inner child take over that I think I had more fun playing with the cars and trucks pretending they were building all sorts of things than my brother did. Mostly it was just nice to see him as I've been so busy that I haven't spent as much time with my family as I should it's crazy how fast kids grow and develop new skills I feel like I'm with a whole new human not the kid I saw just a few months ago. As we were playing with some toy aeroplanes the front door opened and Pablo came in, usually I'm Milo's favourite person but as soon as you get Pablo in the mix I'm always long forgotten. Today was no different either as soon as Pablo had stepped into the living room he got the same greeting I did this morning but he saw it coming and picked up the charging child with ease. 
Despite just getting back from training Pablo suggested we go to the local park so I packed up a bag with some snacks while Pablo put Milo's shoes on which is a battle for anyone other than Pablo. We headed out and I was quickly left behind they went running off towards the park while I walked behind admiring their little bond. Pablo was definitely only running to not let Milo get too far away but as soon as they got to the road across from the park Milo stopped and waited for Pablo as he's been taught not to cross the road without holding someone's hand. They both waited for me so I jogged a bit to catch up but after that they were gone again heading towards the field to play football. As much as Pablo has spent his morning training and playing football he was still so excited to play with Milo who has just started going to practices on a weekend so was looking forward to having his new skills tested by a professional player. 
I let them play football together as my football skills leave a lot to be desired I think I may be worse than Milo who's only just started learning. Eventually I suggested that we go play in the play park which Milo seemed happy about and so did Pablo who needed a bit of a break from trying to match a toddlers energy levels. Milo wanted to go on the slides so I followed him and went up and down so many times I was starting to get dizzy. He then wanted to try the monkey bars but he's too small so I had to hold him as he went across which would be fine if I ever kept up with going to the gym but I don't so my arms got tired quite quickly. A point came where I couldn't hold him anymore so Pablo came to my rescue and suggested the swings. We took turns pushing Milo who was having the time of his life with his high we let him go, the sound of him giggling just melted my heart. 
Eventually we'd tired Milo out and he wanted to go home for dinner and then bed. He tried walking but he was just too tired so Pablo picked him up and carried him the whole way home. If the events of the day so far hadn't already melted my heart enough it definitely exploded with cuteness seeing Milo snuggle his face into Pablo's neck. Whenever the time comes Pablo is going to be the best father he's already so good with Milo and any other child he meets. The image of Pablo holding our baby the way he's holding Milo filled my brain and only made the smile on my face bigger. Of course we aren't ready to have our own children yet but days like these make me so excited for when that time comes being able to share all the amazing moments that having a child brings with the person who means the most to me is something I can't wait for. 
Once we made it home Milo just wanted to cuddle with me so Pablo took charge of cooking dinner but I did my best to help where I could. When the food was ready we all ate dinner together before I did Milo's bed time routine with him as I knew what my parents do with him every night. Pablo came back to join us when it was time for a bedtime story we both sat on the edge of the bed as I read Milo's favourite book while Pablo stroked his head until he was fast asleep. We both exited the room as quietly as possible avoiding all of the squeaky floorboards and pieces of furniture which are hard to see when the lights are off. 
We headed downstairs and both flopped back onto the sofa starting to feel the tiredness of keeping so active all day. This is half the reason we aren't ready to have kids of our own as I know we'd both be so tired at the end of the day and we like our sleep but we wouldn't get nearly enough of it. After gathering our thoughts for a second Pablo moved closer to me and got me to rest my head on his chest while he played with my hair that's falling out of the ponytail I put it in this morning. He pressed a kiss on the top of my head so I looked into his eyes which had that look in them the look they have when he's at his happiest.
"I'm exhausted but todays been amazing I can't wait to have kids of our own one day" Pablo said 
"I'm glad you say that as that's all I've been thinking about all day you are going to make the best dad when the time comes" I said 
"And you will be the best mum I just know it" he said 
"Right now though I think we wait a few years for kids I don't think I could do this every day kids are really draining" I said 
"Agreed how many kids would you actually want?" Pablo asked 
"I think at least 2 but not too many I know it's takes a toll on your body and I don't think I could handle having lots of kids" I said
"2 sounds perfect but we will have as many as you want it's your body so if 1 is enough then we will be a happy family of 3" he said 
"Until then I'm more than ok with just sticking to baby sitting" I said yawning 
"And practicing making babies" Pablo said which earned him a slap on the arm but he wasn't wrong practicing is fun 
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yunxi-11085 · 11 months
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Jing Yuan x reader & our child yanqing!!
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I just want baby yanqing being a lil silly troublemaker and reader(you) just letting him go no matter what because he's so freaking cute??? you couldn't help it when he showed you his super move of puppy face.. later on Jing yuan might need to learn it from yanqing hehe but jing yuan would be upset, like yanqing broke his favorite cup but he just gets a little scolding and can go back to playing w/ toys... with the excuse of him being too cute that you must let him go
time skip to when yanqing is a teen and jing yuan finally gets to take his revenge by hiding some of yanqing's favorite swords
that would make yanqing superrr upset but he doesn't know who stole his favorite swords.. so he can't confront them abt it and then because you know who stole his lil swords so you secretly gave yanqing some allowance to buy more swords? jing yuan doesn't even know where all that money comes from keke
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reminded by this small comic(?) where Jing yuan is disappointed at yanqing for buying new swords but you couldn't help but give him more money when he asks for it because he's tOO cute (( like even if I weren't related to him I'd do ANYTHING to make this baby smile like this aaa
a few sword buying trips later and jing yuan started noticing n he gets jealous~~ you're little hubby getting jealous of the son you both adore~~
so during this morning when you n your hubby wakes up together in bed, he asks "what are your plans for today?" today you are supposed to accompany yanqing to meet some officials! which is the job other people should be doing but you wanted to spend more time with your son.
"how about we go on a date today, just the two of us." he said. but wasn't he supposed to be at work today? "I'm sure the diviner would be willing to let me have a break once in a while" he was sure, but you weren't sure.
he stands up and reaches out for your hand, "it's been a long time since we've went out together"
you were tempted to go with him but you still had to meet up with qingque too right? you promised her that you wanted to learn mahjong from her.
and then you looked back up at his face— oh my.... yanqing??? the general of the cloud knights, looking at you with such puppy—
"uh... sure then" you shyly said, it's a once and a lifetime to see this face... you must treasure it in your brain for years to come even though you already have yanqing's puppy face in there too
nn~ Jing yuan hides you from yanqing the whole day
I'm gonna add more tmrw I need to sleep aaa
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update :: I'm now awake and leTs continue
Jing Yuan x reader w/ our child yanqing (jelly Jing yuan time~~)
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you don't know but, Jing yuan purposely brought you to restaurants where he knew that yanging wouldn't be in and disrupt the little love time you both have. yesterday while he was sulking in the divine foresight he went and calculated where is the best route to not see yanqing for a day ImAO
imagine doing that to your son
anyways, Jing yuan was being super nice and caring the entire time, if you wanted a little teddy bear he'd buy it for you, etc. etc. if he caught you ogling at some cupcakes or sweets from the window he'd bring you inside and let you taste every one of them!
if you didn't notice, some people were giggling and smiling at your cute interaction. the general of xianzhou on a date with his cute s/o!
it was near afternoon now and you've already visited all the places you wanted to go.
"hm I know the perfect place to go, angel" imagine Jing yuan calling you angel while you call him hubby ImFaokskmskandn I'm single af why am I writing this
you both go on a walk together while holding hands.. the sun is setting and.... oh this man is so pretty. you know it, we all know it. but even all the years of marriage nd being together you still couldn't get over how your hubby is so so pretty.
the radiance of the sun from behind him while he looks at you with those loving eyes.. your heart flutters at the sight.
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and guess what? he brings you to a small cafe, and it was full of cats.. and birds. >> you know whose the biggest bird n cat lover here
you squeal at the sight and almost immediately jump inside to pat the little furries...
the last part of the date was so romantic. the staff was super welcoming and the tea tasted so good. It's like our first date all over again. you chuckled and Jing yuan laughed as well.
"we can consider this as our first date together as a married couple then" which funny enough truly is, because every other time it's the three of you together on a family trip.
when the date is over, and you and Jing yuan walk back. he holds your hand tightly with fingers intertwined. he makes sure he walks side by side because of the major size difference between you two.. and if he walks how he usually does you will probably have to run to catch up to him every step
'maybe we should do more of these in the future..'
when you arrive home, you will probably bring out a sandal to Jing yuan because he failed to tell qingque that you are going when you reminded him to atleast tell someone to send a message to her.
yanqing runss to you and you barely had time to react before Jing yuan picks the young boy up with his two large hands by the waist.
"WAh-
"slow down yanqing, we need to rest." Jing yuan says before putting the boy down.
hm? I'm not tired though?
Jing yuan got the message but nonetheless he drags you to your shared bedroom leaving the poor boy behind
hah...
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jelly Jing yuan is my thing now I need him to be a jelly little baby for me hehe
I'm probably gonna make more yuus
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AITA for making my dad quit his kombucha making hobby?
This was years ago now but I still feel bad about it sometimes. Basically, my dad likes cooking and baking and stuff like that, and one time he decided that it would be fun to try making his own kombucha at home. He had a big jar that he kept on a counter in the kitchen with his kombucha mushroom in it.
I personally found the idea of drinking anything that came out of that jar really offputting because I didn't like the sight or smell of it, but one time he tricked me into trying it by mixing it into a drink without telling me. I don't like being deceived about what I'm consuming, even if it isn't harmful or anything.
That wasn't my main issue with it though, because he only did that once. No, I mainly hated this hobby of his because of the way the jar smelled. You felt it every time you entered the kitchen. I felt it while eating. It totally threw off my appetite. Since I was a teen at the time and a bit ruder than I am now, I would complain about it very vocally. I'd call it gross and beg him to keep it somewhere else and tell him that one day he was gonna wake up to me having thrown it out the window. To be clear this was an empty threat and he knew it, because I have always been pretty dramatic in speech without matching it in action.
It is worth mentioning that my younger sister complained about it too.
One day the jar was just gone. I mentioned this development to my dad and he said that he'd thrown it out since everyone hated it so much. I responded to this with glee. It didn't take particularly long for me to start feeling a bit bad for complaining so much that he actually got rid of it, since he clearly enjoyed making kombucha. My only defense is that I really really hated that smell, more than most other smells I've encountered, and that I had to smell it every day while eating. But still, I clearly ruined this hobby for him.
So was I the asshole?
What are these acronyms?
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cripple-culture-is · 1 year
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Sorry, but if you do not use a mobility aid, then you aren't physically disabled 🤷‍♀️ Only those with mobility aids can call themselves a cripple. I saw your main blog and that you are "physically disabled without mobility aids". That's not even possible. You can't be physically disabled and not require mobility aids.
And the fact that you believe you have the right to use the word cripple rubs me the wrong way. You have to look disabled in order to use that slur. Otherwise it's incredibly disrespectful.
If you can walk, you are not crippled. Crippled means to "cause (someone) to become unable to walk or move normally." If you can walk, you can move normally.
My first full on hate comment lol 🤣 I'm really moving up in the world.
But on a serious note, yes, you can be physically disabled and not require mobility aids. Physical disability isn't always stagnant. It isn't always as simple as someone who is paralyzed being a full time wheelchair user.
Since you used definitions, I'll use definitions. Physical disability is defined as "a limitation on a person's physical functioning, mobility, dexterity or stamina." Also, "any physical limitations or disabilities that inhibit the physical function of one or more limbs of a certain person."
I am physically disabled. I pretty much always have been. I have a mobility disability. I was diagnosed with juvenile idiopathic arthritis at 9 months old, an autoimmune disease. I did show symptoms at 4 months old at the latest though. Arthritis is actually the leading cause of disability and the most common disabling condition for U.S. adults.
I do not currently use mobility aids, no, but I am looking into getting a rollator for college. So I suppose that when I do get that aid, I will finally, in your eyes at least, be considered physically disabled.
However, I have reached a point in my life where I don't really care what people say about my disability. Whether you believe I'm physically disabled or not doesn't change the fact that I am physically disabled under U.S. law 🤣🤣
I got my permanent disability plates and placard when I was about 5 years old, though I probably could've gotten it before then.
I have always said that I have never used mobility aids. And while that's technically true, it's also not. I've never used traditional mobility aids regularly. I used a wheelchair in public once as a child, and I hated the pity looks adults would give me as I used to be more self-conscious.
However, I HAVE used untraditional mobility aids. While most people wouldn't consider them as such, I have used aids that have helped my mobility, mostly as a child, they just aren't stereotypical disability aids.
I was offered a wheelchair as a child, but due to the pity looks I got from adults, I turned it down. My parents worked around that hangup of mine by using things that I was confident enough to use for mobility as well as more acceptable to me.
My parents had bought this long stroller. When I got older, the typical strollers caused problems, in that I couldn't rest my legs on anything. So I had this stroller that had a leg rest that I could use to stretch my legs as keeping them bent for long periods of time physically hurts me.
I also sat in the baskets of shopping carts until I was in my mid-teens. My mother or father would put the cart with me in it and I'd sit in it as if I was merchandise just like everything else in the basket. This was all because I couldn't walk.
Though, what would happen when a stroller or shopping cart wasn't available? I would get a piggyback ride, mostly from my sister, though from my father as well. My mom did it only occasionally as she has joint issues just like I do.
Then, when I was a bit older, my parents bought me a red wagon. We would take it to amusement parks and carry some things in it. We'd use it for food and other stuff. But it's real purpose was to be there in case I got to a point where I couldn't walk anymore.
I have arthritis in every single joint in my body. From my jaw and neck, all the way to my toes. Hips, ribs, spine, you name it, I got it.
As for the use of the word 'cripple' it DOES apply to me. Cripple refers to anyone with a physical disability. And due to my disability, I do have lower body involvement. Hips, knees, ankles, toes, etc. All of it.
As for being able to "move normally", I actually don't completely. I appear like I do, but if you look at the structure of my legs and the way I walk, I do move differently than a lot of people. I find that I tend to limp often, even when I'm not in pain. And I am curious as to if that's because I got so used to limping as a child due to pain that my walking pattern just adopted that, leading me to limp when I'm not in pain. I also sometimes walk as if I'm waddling.
Plus, if you notice, my right knee is actually slightly turned in, which means that somehow, it's out of alignment. Knees are supposed to point forward. My dad's point forward, my sister's point forward, my mom's mostly point forward. Both of mine do not, even though both of my ankles are straight. My left one is pretty straight, straight enough for me to not really notice it. But my right is a separate story.
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Because my right knee is pointed slightly inward, I tend to walk with my right foot slightly turned out.
I'm not sure if the alignment is a knee issue, a hip issue, or potentially an ankle issue. This wasn't an issue that was ever pointed out by my doctors as a child, cause my knees have been like this for a while. I did have a lot of knee inflammation as a kid.
But back fully on topic, cripple punk isn't contingent on the use of mobility aids. Plus the assumption that I have to "look disabled" in order to be physically disabled is very ableist and leads to those like me getting harassed when we use our handicapped parking permits. I'm invisibly physically disabled, I have always recognized that. But me having an invisible disability doesn't change the fact that I am physically disabled. And come this time next year, I will probably "look disabled". Not that I believe disability has a look. It doesn't. Believing disability has a look is ableist and perpetuates harmful stereotypes. I AM physically disabled. I AM crippled, mobility aid or no mobility aid.
You don't know my history, you don't know me. You don't know my day to day life.
In order for you to believe me, you'd likely have to see my diagnosis papers and the proof of my disability. But you are not entitled to that information. I don't have to show it to you, and I'm not going to.
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Enjoy the silence
Carl and reader have a moment while on the job...
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*Reader uses fem pronouns, mentions of past bullying, reader is insecure✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
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It had been a long day for you and your friends in Alexandria. You had been on a run since early in the morning, having to leave at sunrise due to the long drive out to a city to look for some supplies. You had all gotten back by the time the sun was almost completely out of sight, thankfully. You were all hoping to get home, shower and knock out as soon as possible. But of course, you and your best friend, Carl, were the two people Deanna had ordered to keep watch.
Now usually, you despised having to be on watch duty. You found it boring and agonizingly long, and what made it worse was the fact that there was no chance of sleeping till the next day. But when you did it with Carl, it was a whole different story. Carl always found a way to make the night more interesting, whether it be his funny dad-jokes or the gossip he would hear around Alexandria. In other words, Carl made everything so, so much better. Although it had only been about a year since you first met him, he felt like home. He surrounded you with a warm feeling, you knew that no matter what, you could go to him and you'd feel okay. As you were deep into your thoughts, you heard footsteps coming from the ladder. You looked to the right and saw Carl making his way up. Your heart lit up and you felt that feeling of warmth wash over you. You smiled at Carl involuntarily, just looking at him made you feel happy. "Hey [Name]." His voice sounded like music to your ears, better than any tune or beat you've heard in your life. "Hi Carl." He stood next to you. You and Carl were almost touching shoulders, since the towers small box-like frame didn't provide the most space. You began to converse with him, talking about how the day went. Every few minutes, either you or Carl would see a walker and shoot it down and then go back to your conversation.
It had been 3 hours of you and him talking. The time flew by like seconds. This was another thing you liked about Carl, it was the way you could talk to him for hours and never get bored. At some point, you had brought up how at one of the recent parties, some older women in Alexandria began to make snarky comments towards you. They said things about how your hair looked ragged and your skin was dull. You'd think that when in the middle of a zombie outbreak, they'd have much better things to worry about. "The old-heads gave me shit about my skin and hair again" you said with a slight chuckle, you didn't want Carl to think you were a sensitive crybaby. "tch, dont even pay attention to them [Name], they're just jealous because theyre all old and wrinkly." You laughed at Carls remark. "Its okay, I dont really mind. I remember in school, before the outbreak, kids would pick on me for the same shit." Carls once relaxed aura turned curious. "What would they say exactly?" He asked politely, not wanting to intrude.
"Well, it was usually about my face or my weight. It used to make me really upset, to the point where i'd beg my mom to not take me to school. But after a little while, I learned not to care . Besides, growing up with mostly skinny and pretty friends kind of toughens you up." You tried smiling at Carl and looking him in the eyes to show you werent sad. "What do you mean?" He asked. "A lot of my friends would have all the boys chasing after them, even in Kindergarten. Think of it like how Enid gets treated by every other teen here. Since I wasnt ever really the cute type, i'd just watch from the side." You smiled again, but this time avoided eye contact. "Wait, so youre saying that NO boys had crushes on YOU?" He emphasized on the "you" part. "I mean... I guess?" You shrugged while grinning. Carls face was twisted in a confused expression. "Why are you looking at me like that Grimes?" You laughed out. "I just find it hard to believe that no one ever 'like-liked' you." You tilted your head to the side, brows furrowed in confusion as to what he was gonna say. "Youre just so... perfect. Youre smart, funny, beautiful... and you can beat some zombie ass." You giggled, feeling a blush creep up on your face. "You think i'm beautiful, Carl?" You asked him shyly, afraid of sounding conceited or selfish. "Of course I do [Name]." He said.
He turned his head all the way in your direction, wanting a perfect view of you. He looked so handsome in this moment. His sheriffs hat was on top of his soft brown hair. His flannel was unbuttoned half way, his white t-shirt peeking through. The sleeves of the flannel were rolled up to his forearm. His hands were behind his back, slender and tall frame leaning against the wooden post of the watch tower. His face was illuminated by the soft glowing oil lamp that sat on the chair in front of you two. His diamond-like eye and ghostly pale skin looked so pretty in the mixture of the warm light of the lamp and the cold light of the moon. You felt your heart rate spike, your pupils dilated. He looked so kissable, all you wanted to do was grab him by the shoulders and kiss his lips til you were both breathless. Carl could say the same for you, as your (eye color) eyes and (skin color) skin looked gorgeous in the light of the lamp and moon. Your slightly tattered tank top hugged your curves and your low-waisted ripped black jeans did as well, exposing a small portion of your mid drift. Carl noticed your cheeks were rosy and your eyes were glossy. Your lips were slightly parted due to the impact of Carl calling you beautiful.
He fixed his posture, standing all the way up and walked towards you. It only took about 1 or 2 steps for him to be face to face with you. He tilted his head downwards, making eye contact. (eye color) eyes gazing into his, you felt the warm feelings 10x. He touched your (hair color) hair, twirling it in his fingers. His hands went from your hair to your cheek, cupping it. He stroked his thumb against your soft skin, feeling the heat. 'So much for dull skin and hair' Carl thought to himself, cursing those old hags for making his love feel bad. "Carl.." You finally spoke out, your voice nothing but a low whisper. From this angle, Carls face was no longer in view of the lamp. The only lighting you got was from the moon, directly shining down on you and him. You took each other's features in, not once breaking contact from eachother. Carl closed his eye, slowly began to lean in, and kissed you. His pink lips were soft, the feeling of the kiss was like satin bed sheets and velvety pillows. He put his other hand on your other cheek, guiding you to be impossibly closer to him. You felt fireworks go off in your brain and stomach. The moment you had waited so long for had finally happened. You deepened the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. You could feel Carls tongue slip inside of your mouth, the feeling so foreign and yet so good. You slowly broke away from the kiss face hotter than ever. You and Carl stood there, trying to process what had just happened. After a few 30 seconds, you both began laughing from the overwhelming feeling of happiness. For the rest of the night, you held each other, enjoying the silence.
"All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms" - Enjoy the Silence, Depeche Mode
A/N: I have wanted to write for Carl for the longesttt time !! I hope u guys liked it pls request more stufffff ;3
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mamawasatesttube · 10 days
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Do you have any comic recommendations for someone who’s trying to get more into Kon and the other teen heroes?
sure thing!! sorry i took a while to answer this, i've been travelling and wanted to actually sit down and take the time to get you links to some lists :)
so for the young justice team in general, here's a reading list of all the peripheral stories and tie-ins that go along with young justice (1998)! yj98 is probably the easiest place to start if you don't really know any of them.
for cassie, since she doesn't have any long solos like the boys do, here's a list of all of her appearances.
i also have a list of all of tim's appearances, but i know that bc he has So Fucking Many it can be pretty overwhelming, so for tim i'd mostly just rec his solo, robin (1993)! that is still pretty long but it is a Good story about his overall character arc and i rly love it so i will just rec the entirety, but i can also go through and find my fav arcs if you prefer a smaller selection sdkjfh
i don't have on-hand a similar list for bart yet but for him i will just say Read Impulse (1995). Do It. Impulse (1995) Is The Comic Of All Time. it's not that long comparatively (as in, less than 100 issues) and it's just suuuch a good story!!!
AND FOR KON: firstly here's a list of all HIS appearances. but also let me get on my soapbox really quick and say once again that i love superboy (1994)!!!! reign of the supermen is kon's origin story, which is probably easiest to read as a tpb (it follows the events of the death of superman), and then superboy '94 follows his further adventures. if you aren't aware, there is grooming and heavily implied statutory rape in this comic that gets... pretty excused by the narrative as being like. haha teen boys like adult women! and that sucks but also makes for a fascinating, tragic, accidental look at the way vulnerable kids get exploited from so many angles.
as for the general konmic reading experience, if getting into Every Single Appearance is (understandably!) too much at first, i also once wrote up this post about the major points to hit!
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deathbxnny · 10 months
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Salutations good writer! I hope you're feeling better after your mental health break, and that whatever may have spurred it has been resolved! Now, if you are 100% open to taking reqs again, I'd like to propose a little platonic HC ask for the certain crew of a space-faring locomotive. Basically the, Astral Express crew (if you're cool with taking HSR asks, since I remember seeing you mention that you were feeling burnt out with those) finding out that their youngest (I'd say upper teens in terms of age range) member... has a lot of cybernetics. I'm talk an arm, half their upper body, and both their legs. And these cybernetics are a source of great insecurity for them, like they feel like they're beneath everyone, a lesser being, less of a human being. And as for why they hid it, well, it may have been an illogical train of thought, but it was because they, deep down, were terrified that the crew would end up validating those feelings if they ever found out. And this was information that they'd hidden from the rest of the crew for a good while, under layers of covering clothing, until during a recent mission that would result in their secret being revealed. I'm imagining it's either like, they jump in front of another crew member, or the crew need to urgently retrieve an item, or pull some sort of switch, but where that item or switch lays is too dangerous for any of them to just reach in unless to want their hand and/or arm melted or ripped off. Any of them, except for the reader. Who does just that. Either way, their clothes are damaged, and their secret is exposed for all to see.
-----♡
A/N: I love the way you talk like a mid-century, mysterious merchant, who sends you on a life altering quest, before disappearing into the shadows of the forest, satisfied with the evil they've committed for the day on the unsuspecting adventurer... Also, thank you for your interesting request lmao-
Content: Teen reader having robotic limbs, hurt/comfort, slight angst, unserious in some parts, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns!
((Not fully proofread))
-----♡
》March 7th
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She found out about your robotic limbs during a fight against some enemies. Your arm malfunctioned, loosening off your shoulder, which made you instinctively grab it to keep it in place. March thought that you had gotten injured and quickly tried to aid you by grabbing your arm too, despite you telling her that it was alright.
She didn't listen and quickly had to pull you out of the way from an attack, making her accidentally take your entire arm off with her. You both stood there frozen, including the baffled enemy, as you just stared at your arm in March's shaking hands. Your insecurities quickly flared up, as you tried scrambling for an excuse. But you were cut off by March's high-pitched scream of horror, since she thought that she had somehow ripped your entire arm off.
The enemy eventually just left out of sheer embarrassment, as you had to be the one comforting March about your arm and explain to her that everything was fine. At least you didn't feel too bad about it anymore, if anything, it was maybe even funny for once.
-----♡
》Welt Yang
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Welt always somehow knew that you were hiding something, but never dared push you on the topic. Instead, he made it clear that you can talk about anything that bothers you to him. He was open to anything, in fact, he has seen practically everything the world had to offer. Nothing surprised him anymore and he made sure you knew that. So really, he was just patiently waiting for you to one day tell him what it was, that visibly bothered you so much every day.
And the day finally came, when you couldn't fix your leg that was broken in a battle. You were frustrated and angry, unable to fix it no matter what you did. You didn't want anyone seeing you like this and therefore hid yourself in your room until you could solve the issue. But the crew eventually got worried for you and send Welt to check up on you. He knocked, asking you if he could come in and after an eternity of silence, you sigh and give up, before letting him in. You tearfully sat on your bed in defeat, your robotic leg on full display, thinking he'll now degrade you for it.
But he surprised you, as he simply kneeled down at your bed and asked you to give him your tools, so that he could fix it for you. He asked no questions and just worked away, until he finally fixed it for you with ease. He didn't need to say anything and you didn't either, just silently appreciating him for the wordless kindness he had just shown you.
-----♡
》Himeko
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Himeko only noticed your robotic limbs, when you returned from a mission completely beaten up. Your sleeves were torn off your arms and your cybernetic limbs on full display for her to see. Your head was hanging in shame, as you nervously and anxiously waited for her ridicule you thought you'd get.
But that never came and instead, she just gently hugged you and quickly tended to your wounds. She asked no questions and just patiently waited for you to tell her all about your limbs, whilst she calmly patched you up. She wiped away your tears and patted your head, reassuring you that everything was going to be alright and that your secret is safe with her, if you don't want to share this with everyone just yet.
She from then on made sure you had better cybernetics that didn't break or malfunction and kept your secret just like she promised to. She was always to hear and still your insecurities, as she didn't think that they were anything to be ashamed of.
-----♡
》Dan Heng
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Dan Heng once caught a glimpse of your cybernetic limbs, yet never said a word about to anyone. He for one didn't think it was his place to do so and also didn't think it was such a big deal in the first place. So he wasn't all to phased, when your arm shattered during a fight and was revealed to indeed not be real. The only thing he was worried about, was if you were alright or not.
He finishes up the battle quickly to make sure you're alright and not injured. Though seeing you so visibly shaken up and ashamed makes him freeze up with worry for a second. He certainly didn't except you to be so insecure about them, even if you hid them from everyone. He gives you silent support by helping you quickly get a replacement arm and making up some lies, so that the crew didn't know anything, until you were ready to tell them yourself.
He continues to not make a big deal out of it afterwards and instead tells you that your limbs make you even more interesting, in hopes of cheering you up through it.
-----♡
A/N: Alright, I hope this was okay! Thank you again for the request!<33
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yggdraseed · 1 month
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Reflecting on Ichigo vs. Grimmjow
This past week, we lost electricity and internet for a few days. In addition to engendering a much deeper appreciation for modern amenities in me, it led me to dust off a bunch of old Shonen Jump issues I bought at Kroger when I was a kid! Someday I'd like to collect a copy of every English monthly and weekly Shonen Jump anthology, but that's not the point of this post.
No, the point is that while thumbing through them, I encountered the last chapter of Ichigo's fight with Grimmjow, and I was struck by how much of the subtext and emotion I missed as a dumb teenager. That's not to say all teenagers are dumb, I don't think they are and I think the way that adults in general look down on and bully adolescents is stupid and wrong; I'm just saying I, myself, was a teenager once, and back then, I was dumb as hell.
Anywho, I remember really, really being struck by that flashback to when Grimmjow was still an Adjuchas and running with his pack that all eventually became his Numeros. When I was a teen, I don't think I had the mental framework to understand why, but now I do. The whole concept of the Arrancar is a hell of a lot more fascinating with all the things I've learned and opened myself up to since then, and looking with fresh eyes at this one chapter of Grimmjow and his interactions with his underlings and Ichigo was a real thrill.
It's interesting how, while Shinigami get stronger by cloaking themselves in Hollow powers, Hollows get stronger by becoming more like Shinigami. They tear off their masks, assume more-or-less human forms, and store their full Hollow form as zanpakuto for the renewal and empowerment of Resurrección. And I've started to reflect a lot on what monsters taking on humanoid form means for the story's themes.
When I look at the Espada, I see these once animalistic phantoms who exist only to consume and perpetuate their own existence who have now taken on human form and the very human search for meaning in some form. Yammy's a bad example of this like he is for fucking everything, but maybe the point is that he's such a big lug with so much power to throw around that he doesn't need to try to give his life meaning? But that's a reach.
Starting from Number 9 instead, we have Aaroniero, the only Gillian in the Espada. The Gillian are the first stage of Menos Granda, resulting from the hunger that defines all Hollows becoming so great that human souls no longer can satiate them, and so they cannibalize each other in a huge feeding frenzy that eventually produces a Gillian. As a result of smashing all these Hollow personalities together, they lose their individual identity, as seen with how Gillian all have the same appearance until they metamorphose into the next phase, an Adjuchas. When this happens, an individual identity asserts itself.
I don't believe that Adjuchas are actually representative of any one living human's former identity like non-Menos Hollow are. Rather, I think that an Adjuchas is a whole new identity that originates from that congealed mess of interfeeding and assimilation that produces a Gillian. Correct me if I'm wrong on this, but I don't think any of the Arrancar were once living humans, in that I think their experience as individuals begins at their emergence as Adjuchas.
Getting back to Aaroniero, he (they? it?) was probably just on the borderline between Gilian and Adjuchas. So you have this sort of very broad strokes, half-animal consciousness that's only starting to become self-aware again. Aaroniero only has a little more going on in his/their inner life than the primal desire all Hollows have to feed, and I think that bears out in how Aaroniero takes the identity of what's eaten and lives to eat. Aaroniero only has a little more than hunger, but is using that hunger as a basis for meaning and trying to create an identity by eating otthers and integrating them. Perhaps unfortunately, Aaroniero dies before completing self-actualization.
Szayel Aporro, the next rung on the ladder, is also defined by desire in a more broad sense. It's not only hunger, but also lust and more complicated forms of greed that drive him. He's a scientist, but in the sense that he's possessed of avarice for knowledge. And his Resurrección reflects a desire for power over others - over their bodies and over their fates. In that way, following his desires leads to meaning for him, to some sort of goal: acquiring knowledge and more complex, effective means to then acquire more knowledge and satisfy other desires.
Zommari is marked by fanatical love. Love is interesting in that it's simultaneously a desire and a virtue: to love someone or something is to desire them, but also to desire their wellbeing. It's a need to meet the needs of someone or something besides yourself. And yet, Zommari has this very immature, incomplete love: he makes all of these adulations towards love, but in the end, his Resurreción forces others to love him and serve him. He's unable to go outside of himself at this stage, but while he's beginning to see the big picture, it all still comes down to his own primal desire to have, to possess, even if not necessarily to consume.
I could keep going up the list, but I'm going to stop at Grimmjow for now because he's the one on my mind the most due to recency bias. He and his pack of Adjuchas ended up settling on a very different desire from any of the foregoing Arrancar: power. Not consumption, not possession, but growth and evolution. Obviously the latter is attained by and makes it easier to attain more of the former, but the point is that it's a very different relationship to the world and the self from what Aaroniero, Szayel Aporro, and Zommari have going on.
Grimmjow and his underlings have as their primary, guiding objective not to fill their stomachs or secure possessions, but to evolve further and realize their latent potential. This is no longer in the realm of meeting some primal need like hunger, security, or some other form of tangible, useful abundance. Self-improvement for its own sake is something very abstract and symbolic, something downright esoteric if you're only looking at biological utility. It's something almost unspeakably human, to do something not for the benefit of survival, but because you've decided it's meaningful.
That's Grimmjow and his pack. They've declared that strength has meaning even if it doesn't meet your needs and desires, and so they make sacrifices on the altar of strength. And it's why his subordinate Adjuchas are so distraught when they realize they can't go further. Strength is their meaning, their tether guiding them through the dark desert of existence, and now they've obtained all of it that they can. Not for lack of trying, but because they had a built-in limit. I think you could argue that wanting Grimmjow to eat them is partly a suicidal response to realizing they're at the end point of their chosen meaning and can't proceed further with it.
However, it's also fascinating that rather than just ending it themselves in some way, they all choose to offer themselves up to Grimmjow. They see him as the embodiment of strength and of the law of the jungle, the might makes right philosophy that gave their existence meaning and let them continue to try and live. And so they want to sacrifice themselves so that he can reach his full potential and go further beyond, to the frontiers of strength they know they can never reach. It's visceral, animalistic, and short-sighted, but you can't call it anything else than compassion. They choose to give up their needs and desires for the needs and desires of someone else.
And so when Grimmjow's always pushing himself to assert his pride and to get as strong as possible, to defeat anyone and everyone that he can, sure, it's his ego motivating him. However, it's also the fact that now, he's the one carrying the symbolic meaning of strength on his back for his Numeros. Getting stronger is no longer just his own meaning, but it's a responsibility he owes to his comrades who weren't able to get stronger with him. And that meaning keeps him moving forward on a collision force with greater challenges.
Like one Ichigo Kurosaki. When you look back at Ichigo's characterization in early Bleach, it starts to click why he makes this connection with Grimmjow. He sees himself in him - or maybe just a person he could have become if things went differently. Ichigo's kind of a punk who likes to fight and flex his muscles, but he became that way because his natural orange hair he inherited from his mom made him look like a delinquent and turned him into a lightning rod for conflict. Some people see a nail that sticks out and can't rest until they hammer it down, and Ichigo had to learn to fight and to enjoy fighting in order to protect himself and his self-respect. He could just do something as simple as dye his hair black, but then, that would be hiding something he inherited from his dead mother just to make life go a little smoother. It would be stepping on something important to himself just so he could take the easy way out.
Grimmjow is someone who finds meaning in conflict and strength for its own sake. Ichigo finds meaning in conflict and strength only to assert his own self-worth and, with time, to protect the friends who have gradually gathered around him. He's not just some punk slugging people for getting on his case over something as stupid as hair color, his strength represents a responsibility to the people he loves. And that element of strength as meaning, strength as a responsibility to others, ties him and Grimmjow to each other.
It's why Ichigo frustrates Grimmjow so much. He sees himself in Ichigo, but he also sees something not-himself. He sees someone who has pushed himself to get stronger, but someone who doesn't worship at the altar of strength like he does. Instead, he sees someone with this over-abundance of strength who doesn't assert it, doesn't make more sacrifices than necessary for it, but just uses it as a means to an end: that end being the safety of people he cares for.
This creates friction inside of Grimmjow because strength is his rock, his one singular meaning in a dark, barren, stupid world. For strength to just be the means to an end is hard to process. Yet in Ichigo, he starts to see what lies beyond strength for its own sake: a way that strength can form bonds and maintain them, act as the seedbed for new meanings without losing its meaning in itself.
When Ichigo pleads with Grimmjow, "We don't need to fight to the death. Isn't it enough for us to fight each other again and again?" It's him extending an olive branch. He doesn't want to see more death and destruction than necessary anymore, but he knows now that the world of Arrancar like Grimmjow is defined by those things. If he wants to end this conflict without killing an opponent he respects, then he has to meet Grimmjow in the middle. He has to make a commitment to get stronger and fight Grimmjow again, as many times as he wants, if it means Grimmjow will lay down his arms and stop trying to get to him through his friends.
Of course, Nnoitra has to show up and fuck it all up like he does most things he involves himself with. I've come to find Nnoitra an interesting character in his own right and might have more to say about him in the future, but for now, I'll say that I think the fact that Grimmjow ends up helping Ichigo and Co. during the final arc indicates he's accepted Ichigo's terms and is expanding his horizons beyond fighting and killing to grow and assert his strength and nothing else besides that.
He's definitely evolved his fashion sense. Did you see those boots? Faboo! To die for! Or, perhaps, to live for?
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Note
*coughs* Pants in kakegurui au with reader as a (personal) housepet
Let's say the only reason Pantalone is holding back himself is because you were his benefactor when he first arrived to the academy, losing to him on purpose so that he could pick some cash up for himself everytime it's fund collection time. Everyone knows this isn't some special treatment for him since you do it for everyone who's lacking in funds (for the student council's fund collection) but Pantalone on the other hand is like, *lol*(classic template, I'm sure yk what he does alr)
And pants being the sly bastard he is, uses the cash he won from you to gamble with others, slowly *leveling up* till he becomes the student council treasurer now.
Oh how he wishes he can just talk with you like the other students do but he's just so shy *lol more to insecure but it's ur call here* so when he heard the news you lost in a big game because you've been tricked by one of the students you tried to save, it's show time for Pants *lol*
He acts hella fast too, he won't give you the time to recover from your debts so boom, fund collection time, you are screwed big time.
now you are inevitably a housepet and Pants didn't waste time in trying to be your saviour *lol*, oh you should have noticed how he's the one who has been pulling strings behind your back. You are in fact, not a bad gambler so he ensures that no one will play with you. (The rest is your call)
But one scene I'd love to see (if possible) is probably Pantalone taking you in as his personal housepet (maybe reader lost their sanity by pants' sweet words and the fake security he gives reader) , while your status remains a housepet, the collar and leash on you definitely warns people to not toy with you unless they want to *lol* become one.
Classic and simple but hey, maybe you know a way to add spices :3 (tia *rolls*)
Silent Night
Original title: “Lord of the Night”, " Mine, Mine, Mine! “
Kakeguri Au
Yandere! Shy(?), soft (?) Gambler!Pantalone x house pet! Reader
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(Songs listened to while writting: Stalker’s tango by autohearts, Something no everything is wrong by Madoka, whims of fate persona5, Elite four pokemon gen 5)
“Assuming both of them are teens, and mentions of alcohol and abuse of substance is present. But either way, Yandere isn’t a first choice for a healthy romance, not that I am judging by the way. Even if this reached 6,600 words, this work somehow feels so cheap in a way.”
- P of Li’mu
" Even if you have stayed true, the path one will take is ever treacherous and more despicable. Everyone has their own shadow to deal. And every Wiseman is a fool. “ - Scribe, The overseer of Li’mu.
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“Where is she? It has been at least an hour!" Walking over to the young student who was supposed to be the overseer of the appointed match, they had just received the notification from their cell phone.
Your seventeenth attempt to grasp upon the reigns that taunted you so by the coined cruelty of your own carelessness.
“Where, is, she?" Repeating your statement like a revenant hungry for flesh, wanting the answer in your mind to be vanquished.
The word irked you further once you heard the nickname they associate with you. “Bonny, she backed–” the reasoning is more than enough to be furious, clenched fists pushed the ill-fortunate student away.
You then proceed to storm out of the common room, seeing Pantalone chatting with a student who had a yellow armband.
Hearing a hint of their conversation, “tell that jester, the appointment—” Hushing themselves once they noticed you.
" Ah, senpai, how was it?" His veracious ghost of a smile made present upon facing you. Waving a dismissive gesture at the schoolmate away, in which did so.
“ Fie. " Words came out more like a roaring sizzle of a fire, indication of another failed attempt.
“ Let’s get you home Senpai, I have some new clothes for you to try on. “ Without fear, he showed the paper bags that have the high end named brands.
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At home, walking out of the curtains of the walk-in closet is you, grumbling. Even though it is your own abode, you are not sure how to feel about it now that the Regrator is a frequenter in your comfort zone.
" Are you comfortable with that? " Pantalone asks, shuffling the deck of cards in his hands seamlessly wedging the cards between the others. Eyes closed as he faced you, you who wears the gaudy pink punk-like aesthetic ensemble. All you need is bubble gum to complete the look of a rebellious teen.
“ I would not say uncomfortable but, " You sighed, putting on the fingerless leather gloves and flexing your hand. “ Still, wearing something like this, is borderline of the school’s dress code. ” You raised your concerns, the choice of style is seemingly at random. He knew you prefer a more lovely coloured hue hence he got the one you might ‘endure’ the most.
It's fishnet like hosiery, black leather boots. Dreamy coloured lower article, matching sleeveless top, loose jacket. You look far from being who you were before this whole mess. Especially that black lacy necklace you wear, adding a tiny cute bell to it. The purpose of it? He says it is the latest trend, not that you care about it.
Pantalone frowned a bit, and put away the deck of cards, " Sorry, but I have to atleast make you wear something like this. You know how they act if they know you aren't being treated like a 'housepet'." True, with all the false information circulating, you were sure Pantalone wouldn’t come out of his room for a while. Much like when news spread when your ownership fell to him.
You then sat down on the plush bed of yours, crossing your legs and arms facing him. Is there anything in this room that is not ‘gifted’ by him? The decor, the bedding, clothing—
Pantalone called out, suddenly, "You look so," The bespeckled young teen smiled shyly. “ Stunning in that." He continued his words, especially with how ‘tall and intimidating’ you were compared to him in those high boots.
“Pantalone, please," Another sigh escaped your lips as you looked at the pile of gifts you received from him. It doesn’t feel like a gift for some odd reason. But all of these were the things you found interesting and loved, like that latest game you wanted, or that stuff toy you were eying, even clothes for you to wear whenever he brings you to meetings or indulgent parties he was invited to. Perhaps he doesn’t want you to miss out on things he has?
Pushing up his eyeglasses that reflected a fragment of yourself on it. "You don't have to worry about that, you can repay me back, once you found an opponent that could spell out freedom." His signature thinly veiled smile that seems relaxed in your presence.
Adding to that he replied with, "You'll find them, because I trust that brain of yours to think up a plan." Him being the treasurer does give him some perks of possibly scraping a few zeroes into his name. But you knew he wouldn’t stoop to such a low blow, especially that he prefers a more ‘sophisticated’ approach.
You were about to ask him of that strange person earlier, though. Quickly silencing that trivial thought. It was not your place to question what a person entails, no matter how strange and unfamiliar they are.
“It is not easy to scout out opponents,” Given how much you were willing to bet. A meagre brooch that passed down to you as an heirloom is considered a mere child’s decoration to them. But to pawn it, and pay the compounded interest is not ideal.
“I would have thought others would think I would be easy prey to battle considering my connection to you. ” Another concerning thing is that he was recently promoted into the newly established circle called; ‘The Court’ as the ‘King of Coins’. With that kind of title, it would have garnered much attention to you as a chance of mooching off of him. But the juxtaposition of your initial plan, it might as well crumble to dust.
Eyes closed, as you tapped your finger against our arm, "Don't worry, you can just depend on me for now.” Pantalone gestures over to the basket woven object next to the bags of designer clothing,
" Come on now, I got some sandwiches and snacks. I even got a reserve space for us at Jovino’s.” It was almost like you could imagine him wagging his tail, if he has one that is. Opening your eyes just to face away from him with an aspirated expression.
“Pantalone, I appreciate that you would at least take this a tad seriously.” Voicing another concern of yours to him, it is not like a housepet to have a say against their owner. That is at least one thing that sets you apart from them, you are merely ill-stricken with fortune.
That seemed to make him frown, "What's so wrong in having a break once in a while, senpai?" He pouted, it is just so frustrating to see the cul-de-sac of your labour. “You do not have to push yourself," the Rex of earthly desires huffed, crossing his arms. Though, seemingly to understand your point.
Your last opponent, Miss Patisilinia, one of the somewhat richer students yet within your reach of having a higher chance for freedom, had stood you up at the last moment. Like the others who you challenged fell and failed to obtain the winds' breath. Choices thawing thinner and inconceivable each time you try. Treasured assets on hand were resorted to liquefying, thus transferring to the Regrator whenever you lost and he won it back for you. Sitting down on the bed, its plush memory foam sank from the weight.
You can't keep this up, especially the dripping pile of hallowed promises being shouldered by him. ‘Are you even productive enough that another person will have to sweep you off your feet?!’
"How long will this string of mishaps continue?" Pulling on your hair and throwing yourself back on the bed, you’re at wits end. This never ending cess pool game ping-pong of unpaid debt and loans are the heaviest burden of any gambler.
The investor of the hundreds if not dozens of assets under his keen watch tried to comfort you, “ Senpai, please–" Face softened, coming closer and leaning down on the bed next to you to place his gloved hand on your shoulder.
How vexing! To think he claimed himself as your Kohai…
Brushing him off, gently. Turning your back on him while still laying on the bed, mumbling in a low voice you said: "I, this is insufferable." Even though he hasn’t done anything to harm nor force you to do stuff for him, it is kind of him, compared to what others could force such repulsive commands they’ll give you. He does bring you along to his trips, meals, and seemingly keen on listening to your financial advice.
"You could find someone, you just haven't met them yet," Pantalone leaned his head on your side. “Wait a little longer okay, they’re just provoking you to lose your temper.” While that is true, you don’t have anything worthwhile anymore by that time comes.
Much like the previous school vice-president; Oscar, once a wealthy man now turned into a tumbling jester upon loss to one of the Court.
Your throat feels like someone is suffocating you.“How much do I owe you?” one-hundred and eighty-five school days since you were in liability. Those insulting names they called you; ‘Bonny this, Bonny that.’ You were not some sycophant to Pantalone.
Pantalone hesitates as he dictates the amount you lost and he gained. “Do you want me to put it in the journal for you?” You were never fond of putting things on paper. Though certainly grateful that he did not place a compounded interest rate on it nor ask anything much more.
Not even facing him and letting him lay on your side still, “No, no need.” Before you were turned into a house pet, he was a considerably casual gambler, in your eyes at least. Always hanging from the sidelines after you had taught him the ways of the school. Despite his accumulated ranks, he had much rather spend his time with you.
Always so aware of this growing affections, politely declining of his yearning grandiose amore so he would find another that would suit him.
“What am I going to do with you?” The bespeckled, inky haired lad sighed, sitting up from the bed knowing he might not be able to convince you to go on a picnic with him. Not in this state at least. “We really need to loosen you up a bit…” Adding that statement.
With a clenched fist that scrunched up the bedding, “I do not need rest, what I need are answers to solutions. I cannot just be idle,” Dismissive of his idea of being so still, being on standby only feasts upon the Damocles that hangs over you.
Muttering as well as honoring you, “Senpai.” Lazy eyes that stared back at him, realising the singed contemplation of his words.
“ My apologies, I was just–” you say, trying to retract your sentence.
His gloves hand gave pause. " It is understandable considering your position, but please, as for who I am now, I am responsible for your well being. So, please, just this once: humour me. " He pleaded, with softened stillness. Even with his plea, you know your answer to him out of contrite.
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Lights erratically move, distasteful music thrums through the speakers of the dance room floor. Laughter of haughty, grim socialites made clear. This is not your forte; Abuse of substance, intimate comfort and loose tongue of conflict, it all reign supreme in the Jester’s playground.
Thanks to Pantalone for the early reservations, still wearing a similar attire from last week now lay resting behind the trinket curtains that poorly give privacy, one cascade down on one side. Sitting on the semi-circle couch with a table in the middle, across from you is a briefcase of his.
Then entered the beast that swaggered “ Are you having fun, Senpai? " Smiled Pantalone, holding a bottle of champagne in his hand and pouring himself a glass that uncomfortably sits at the edge of the rim.
Holding in your tongue that you clearly do not want it to spill over. Hesitant hands held the thin stem of the glass before your resenting gaze peered at the sparkling money that flowed into the clear oubliette, a reflection returned even the most boldest gaze.
Only the booming silence between you in this false box of seclusion remained evident, it is concerning to know that the annual after finals party that promises darkness for depraved emotions. Blaring lights of multi-colored dangers and intangible noises that pass in and out to the other ear. The bottle of champagne was then placed at the table in front of you.
“ Senpai, you do not need to be so, uptight." His posture mimics one of yours, before carefully taking your own glass by the rim from you to grab your attention to him.
“ I have no words, but reserved for any actual opponent. “ And stayed silent you did. Stewing with self-made rejection and tears to brood about your own misery.
The ever artful smile on his face is still, strobing light of pristine dread hit his face. He then hums and gives the gold coloured champagne back to you.
“Since the night is still so young, how about we entertain your idea of freedom?" Standing over you as he raised his glass.
There it is, that uneasiness that settles in your gut. Switching from alert thoughts to another.
Staring at the flute wine that he proposed the prospect of your world cage to be open.
“Look around you, Senpai. Everyone is having fun except you. “ his own cup that greedily has his ooze rest almost readily to the top, only taking careless, shy sips of it. Controlled hands that move so freely, making gestures to the people of the dance floor, not caring for the singular drop of extravagant affluence on to the ground from his prize.
“ I will allow you to let loose, just this once." Pushing up the lenses to properly rest on the bridge of his nose.
“Have some fun,” he pulled out from the suitcase of what seemed to be a stack of 1000 yen similar to a smooth brick and tossed it onto the low table in front of you.
“A gift from me, to help you get started." He hesitated for a brief moment, trying to find the right word to not put a blow on what little dignity you have left.
“Why?” What you gave is an incomplete and incorrect phrase, my dear, it should be—.
“Because: as your Kohai, companion, and fellow schoolmate. It is not wrong to find a supporting pillar of strength for a time.” He replied with confidence, swirling the almost overflowing champagne in his hand that it was held so absent-minded-ly that’s been tainted.
But before you could muster up the strength to phrase your concerns, he raised his free hand. “I am well aware that you do not take charity lightly, which is why I propose we play a game; once that you have found yourself in a predicament,” He then raised his transparent glass to you, your face seemed to blend with the ever bubbly liquid.
" I shall step in, now knowing this gambling world has too many variations for one such as yourself.” He spoke as if he already knew the outcome and already decided your fate in a mere glance—.
‘But this could be our only chance.’ Muttered Es, a lone quiet voice of your own mind that rivaled your own Ego Rex. Yet the darkness that slither up to your eyes of a shadow that mirrored you.
‘Take it and be permanent in a state, or never take it and be forever mournful?’ You and I knew what must be done.
Without a word, you hastily took the dough that was presented to you. Its grainy texture of bills felt like it was meant to be savored, every sliver of it.
“ Very good, now, if you excuse me.” He then makes a toast before swiftly and voraciously gulping it in one go of the liquid gold in his hand followed by a server in muted colors collecting the empty container from him.
“ I shall leave you to your hunt; enjoy the night, Senpai.” The ravenous bespeckled young man bid you farewell for now with a shy look on his closed eyed smile before waving and leaving with the briefcase in hand.
Instead of just waiting for some sod to take the initiative, to think you’d be your own worst enemy; the worst kind of parasite, an opportunist.
___________
“Three of a kind!"
How quickly the tables have turned. Earlier you were so desperate for a breath of relief. Underhand tactics are below you, even if it does give leverage. The Ego Rex does not approve of it.
“Flush!"
Gasping, you are running out of time, four hundred quib and it still isn’t enough to ensure your freedom that drown out by the singer from the speaker; ‘Keep your focus’
Cheating hands that tried to play you into their game, it was clear you were not here to entertain the folly they wanted.
“Pay up!" Yelling out against the voices of the masses that cooped in this dreary game edifice, Simply esurient!
‘Win it’
Coughing out the smoke that the people rolled in lavished mold, the scent is ever nauseous enough to choke on it. The giggles from the gaggle of salacious ladies cooed and comforted the loser from his loss.
‘Maybe lose it all.’
Another hour has passed as you look down at the total winnings you have. It was not enough to satiate the looming debt that chained you. Any slip ups are not allowed, once you do– well, let us hope we do not need to think of it much.
‘So we roll the die, see where it may fall’
From there you spotted a game of sic bo. Your mind tells you it is a simple game, but you knew better than to blindly leave it all to chance.
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Nearby are the whispers of wealth; ‘—Oh, to have dreams that are of grandeur!’ ‘ One such as thine should we the (?) feast upon the nines.’ ‘A little wait is all you need—’
Just as you were about to leave, taking a single step, a certain person caught your eye.
‘ — spin the wheel, see whom it may call.’
It was Patisilinia..!
“You!" Stomping towards her, pushing aside the other loitering faceless. She was playing a card game with three other students who wore a similar outfit as hers. Your hand placed on her shoulder and forced her to look at you.
You could see her clearly. Ruffled long black hair that covered one side of her face, and that unnerving eye that stared back at you. Even after the school day, she still wears the school uniform so boldly, the only difference is that she has a gold earring hanging on her earlobe.
No words came out from Patisilinia, instead a young man with long red hair stepped forward.
“ If it isn’t Little Bonny, savant of the Elite King of pentacles. Enjoying the night of ” A young flirtatious, slick red haired man winked. The wild right eye seemed to be glittering with lucre trained on you.
You recognized him in an instant, they were the former Elite C. A. R. D.s that was dissolved, Oscar: Ci-devant vice-president, The Duke of Diamonds. But why, out of all the people you could have run into.
“Leave her alone, brother. We have no ill qualms with her." The person on the other seat said, they look similar to Oscar but with shorter and fluffier hair. His eyes are obscured by a metal masque, with only a hint of gold piercing through the eye slit. His apparel mimics those of impeccable discipline and emotion numbing obligation, the Regent of Cups, Justin.
What are the two C. A. R. D.s doing here? Especially playing with Patisilinia, To mock you even more? Or was this a trap laid by—
The Trampled stud raised his hand, “Funny you should say that brother, but we have every right to pick a fight with her. “ Deft finger dragged on the wooden border of the table as he walked over to you. Aggressively swipe off the dust using his finger off the table before pinching it off his skin. Not breaking eye contact with you for even a moment.
“How about a game, Miss Secretary?” He replied with a shy sly smile aimed toward you, " a little tit for tat, if you know what I mean.” The same finger he used to drag on the table is now slowly caressing your cheek on the backside.
Now is not the time for theatrics, pushing the red head away from you and giving him a stern look.
“You are overstepping the boundaries, warlock." Crossing my arms over my chest, the hint of chime from my choker sounded.
“No need to be so abrasive, dear. You’re just in time for a little, reunion.” It was clear that he was not appreciative of you appearing but, that inane grin he has indicated his intentions.
The dealer then walked in with a brand new deck of cards, it was way more than the standard bicycle was used. No, this was way taller and foreboding.
“ Let’s play a game, just like old times, Sweet-ums.” Taunted the one who used to be your closest companion. Grabbing the deck of new cards that seem to be a perfect fit in his hand.
With a huff, brushing past him. “ I don’t have time for this, Oscar.” You then grabbed Patisilinia’s wrist to drag her, but was stopped when Oscar grabbed the girl’s other hand.
" Up-up-up! She stays, the contract states; she has to complete her obligations.” He wagged his free finger with such smugness.
“Bullshit" replied you, who knew you couldn’t do anything for her now. Just as helpless as you were to the whims of stringed strangers.
“ Read the terms and conditions, funny Bonny! " Oscar laughed. " Now, let go, former equerry. The boss has more than one query." A single tug on your fellow teen made you let go, you could see her staring back so longingly as he dragged her back to the gambling table.
‘Another one lured into the sweet promises of untold glimmer of joy, little servant.
They never change, neither did you.
“Release her, now, Duke." His steps were stopped once you made your move, humming in mild curiosity.
“Come back to your senses, did ya?"
Justin took a step forward, a small frown made present, " Savant, you do not have to humor my brother’s antics, it is all just a mere jest to him. Turn away and continue your hunt.” Yet despite that, perhaps that is why you decided to step up against them.
“Save it, Jush. Perhaps we could make a deal with the one who raised their sword.” The smile upon Oscar’s visage rises this familiar trepidation. Once fearful now the every fiber in you, yearns to gnaw at him using primal discomfort.
Just as you were about to pounce at the short red haired ‘Duke’. “ What is it that you desire, little Scintillating friend? '' Oscar suddenly asked, as if the world went dim, spotlights aimed, leading all eyes upon the sou of a soul!
Dry lips parted to speak,“ My freedom. ” You wanted to graduate from this hell hole, though you didn’t expect his next words.
“ You’ll have it then. “ He said nonchalantly, of course, you aren’t stupid. It reeks with foul intentions.
" What’s your plan, Oscar? " Your eyes then darted around from him to various spots around the room, even upon the dealer and on the poor student.
“ Can’t an old friend help another? “ Scoffing at his words, knowing he wouldn’t do it for no real reason, and friends are no exemption.
He then suddenly added, " Well, if you are that negative about me, how about this? ” Oscar then walked back toward the table and made a hand gesture. " Round one is on me, and round two: I’ll unshackle little itty bitty missy if you win. ” Pointing at the student who wears a bucket hat, she had not spoken since you entered the room.
The sickly looking girl in school attire, you always knew everyone in the school. And yet that student with the yellow arm band eludes your watchful eye.
Even though you have no obligation, and you were about to gamble with her earlier. Still you stood up for her, somehow. Perhaps, it was by fate that you wanted her to be bound to you, as you were to Pantalone? What maddening sadism came over to you?
Oscar gave the deck to the dealer with gentle ease." You do know how to play our favorite, right? " The red haired and vocal socialite asked, and you responded with a nod.
" Excellent! Let the stage, begin. ” Both players then drew a card from the darken dealer. Tired eyes beheld, three people holding their cups up in the air in celebration. I threw the card down on the table so they could see it as well.
From his side the Devil card of the major arcana was thrown, facing upside down. The chains that connected from its fist to the two sinful beings.
“ Lowest, go first. '' Oscar chuckled as the dealer collected the two cards quietly to begin the shuffle. Giving five cards to both of us.
The Lovers; A trump card! Queen of Swords, that could be of use as well later on a bid. Three of coins, ace of coins, and ten of coins. All three are useful to sacrifice until a good card comes up.
It was silent in the game room, the muffled sounds of the songstress could be heard ,
‘Give into temptation.’ As if!
The silent dealer spread a set of cards, revealing one of them.
“Call” You announced before pushing some chips and organized. Face turned unrelenting, tuning out most of the sounds and focused on the game and Oscar. But not before you have felt the eyes of a coyote staring down, watching your every move.
Fingers tapped against the table, as his own brother took his side beside Oscar just as always. “ How long will you last against me, or better yet, why didn’t you ask us for help? ” The ‘Duke’ asked.
The cards felt like they were moving too fast, the ticking of the clock sounded so loud even with all the chatter and debauched music playing. Skin touching the grooves of the linen card, as a set after the other were exchanged.
“ Was pride too much for you? ” he childishly tilted his head but then broke into a sly smile. “ Or was it— ” But you stopped him, if you weren't in a situation like this; a good wring of his neck would surely che—.
“ If you want to continue to gamble against me, I advise: you should keep that mouth of yours shut, Oscar. ” Silencing him, as you gave a side eye. Gripping the cards ever close to you.
“Pft, of course, of course,” He waved your words off.
It was a decent, fair, dead-honest trade. By the time you made your bid on the card the ‘first’ round had ended.
“Round two~” Oscar sighed, taking a sip of the sweating beverage next to him.
As the dealer gathered the cards once more, the short haired colleague spoke “ You were always the brave one. "
“ Perhaps that’s why so many leave mountains of love letters or do anything to be close to you.” He continues his words as he glances up at the card dealer who had their own austere expression, staring at the shuffling cards.
“Stop beating around the bush, you flaming-boy-band-cabaret.” You knew what he was going to do. All he speaks of is mere trickery.
“ You’re the center of everyone’s attention, why leave? “ You could see the green tint of his eyes scanning you up and down. Not a word was spoken as the line of fibery cards hit each other loudly.
Another five sets of cards unto the table in front of us.
‘You will win this…’
Empowering yourself with such flimsy words. As you recall your past victories, this gambling peer seems to be indulging your serious face.
Another somewhat alright hand that showed themselves, Justice, by the dealer. “ This feeling, I almost forgot these emotions… " Chuckled Oscar, twisted ecstasy displayed upon his face.
" Was it your heart, or is it just mine? “ What is he blubbering about? Is he trying to stall again?
Glancing back at your hand, reveals: Eight, nine, ten of swords, while the last two revealed to be seven of cups and king of swords…
No trump cards to play, seems like the king of swords is your only hope, if you played your cards right and bluff Oscar into folding, you could have a chance. ‘You could do this.’
‘Success so clearly in view, but is it merely a trick of the light?’
“Miss.”
Someone with a soft voice spoke. Looking beside you is Patisilinia, her hand is placed upon your shoulder. “ You do not have to do this, it’s alright. There is no need to prove anything to anyone. “ ‘The end waits, for the slightest lapse of concentration, afterall.’
Instead of being grateful for her words, the walls seem to whisper conspiracy in your ears. ‘ prove what? Is she one of them? She was suspiciously quiet earlier, she must be. ’ Keyed eyes glance up and down on her appearance, she is equally fretful and wrung out like a drenched shirt.
“ Do not talk like that as if you knew me for a long time, Patisilinia.” Such coldness of your response made the one eyed girl back off.
“Sorry, you just look really stressed and… “ Leaning closer to whisper; " That card guy, can you tell me about him? “
Looking at the plain looking man that wears a golden bow tie, eyes shadowed by their ruffled black hair. Even the smile is so lovingly, yet so evidently sinister.
Thoughts of what this could mean have entered. ‘Who is he?’, ‘do those two have a connection with him?’, ‘is this a ploy?’
This stirring agitation raises more alarms. Gripping onto the luxurious playing card granted more signs of edged awareness.
" Why don’t we switch it up a little? “ With a sly lazy grin, he tossed a cheque on the gambling table, a cashout that weighs more than your debt.
" All, or nothing. “ He added.
You had no money to pay back should you lose. “Bastard, spill it, this is your attempt to save face, isn’t it?! “ Pointing an accusation at him, to which he calmly and teasingly replied; “I have no idea what you’re talking about darling."
‘Self-Preservation is paramount at all costs!’
Refusing to show even a hint of woe, you have failed to realize that there are more than the people in the room who are staring at you.
“ I won’t let the battle end your way, coward! “ You have no idea what is up his sleeves, though for sure it isn’t pleasant.
Hasty gaze placed upon the cards you’ve held. There is no point in integrity if the opponent has no respect!
‘in this decrepit tomb of refined fashion.’
With grit teeth, and rekindled blade. Despite of Ego Rex had said, securing the win is more important than being sorry and ended up with even more trouble.
‘Come on, let's just enjoy the spice// (Of) Life and feel so free//’
Vision slightly blurry for a moment as you heard the songstress’ words. Fueling you to push onward to a better possibility. Though, it is most probably why they prefer this kind of masquerade.
“ This Someone has not rusted yet. " The Dealer mused, as he began to shuffle the cards with ease.
With using every trick you have accumulated over your days as a normal student. It was going relatively well, until you noticed your points are slowly building up compared to Oscar.
“Hoho, surely this will be our very best bet.” Chuckled Oscar, though him speaking like that makes you feel on edge.
In a fit of illusioned madness, everything seems to blend and melt once Oscar prompts his arm on the table, revealing his conniving smile.
You should have known that being so wily and clever, deceiving and swindling never ever makes a person so clever. Was this, who you truly are? The scummiest of all gamblers.
“Save your dignity, little Bonny." Hearing the chair being scraped against the floor caused you to stand up and look at the hulking figure of the Captain that followed the wealthy student Regrator.
You tried to follow suit in an attempt at pulling the ‘bodyguard’ of Pantalone. “Capitano— wait!” you cried out, disregarding tugging on to his arm and silky clothes, " Don’t tell Pantalone! Please!" Tears escaping your eyes as it all happened so fast that you couldn’t process what just happened.
“My apologies, but he is already here." Eyes widen as you see Pantalone, opening his briefcase from the entrance of the room. In one swing, an unfathomable amount of paper bills began to shower everyone in raining crisp geld.
" I’m disappointed, Senpai. I told you if you were in a bind, I wouldn’t mind that I have to help you out. “ No, that’s not the look of a stymied person.
" Let us fully relax, and relish all of these! " His voice seems so primal yet refined, as if his inner demons were being satiated by the act he had committed. Followed up with a wave of his other hand to catch a wad of bills to fan himself.
“Capitano, please help me!" Backing away from the affluent stud and begging at the bodyguard to help.
He stayed silent, making the alarm in your mind blaring. Facing the three you were just with.
“Oscar! Justin! Pastilinia, Please! “ The more you tried to scream out the three would answer you the same. Attempts to move closer failed.
" What isn’t real, could never fade. I truly enjoyed your performances, Regrator, Captain, and of course you as well dear little Servant." The dealer smiled and waved so cheekily.
" Pastilinia! “ Screeching out, anxiety from the realistic danger turned aggressive. Dilated eyes focused on the one eyed girl before you heard a soft click.
" Huh… ? " Moving your gead slightly to see the ever twinkling face of the Regrator just over your shoulder. Not realizing he had let go of the fan money and briefcase to attach a leather leash that’s wrapped around his other fist.
“Dearest Senpai. You haven’t forgotten our promise do you?" Breaking away from his space.
" I can still win! I just need a little bit more time. “ he tugged on the leather to pull you back, making you gag and move closer to him. “Right, Pastilinia!?"
When you realized that your bargains no longer reach his ears, “ How could you?! “ Your aggressive tendencies became apparent as hands reaching out for the sickly girl and the rest that basically sold you out to lash out on.
“ I’m sorry but the Jester promises us happiness as well.” Pastilinia replied softly.
Justine scoffed, " a fistful of happiness more like."
“ SCREW YOU! " You roared as you tried to go over to the three but somehow Pantalone managed to get a good grip on the string to drag you away
“Now, now, we don’t threaten a stranger with a good time, Senpai." No matter how many times you hear him say that, it is always so unnerving.
On your knees and clawing at the carpeted floor, you would have held tightly onto if it weren’t for the money he spilled earlier to make it even more difficult. “ Please, have mercy Sire, Pantalone, Regrator.” Never in your life would you think of being seen this pathetic, infront of your old friends at least.
As a last ditch to hold on to, " MASTER!!!" You screamed that held so much vile emotions into the night. In hopes of making out of this treacherous cage alive.
He once dreamed in the dark for the most part, and now, it is your turn little pet.
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Bonus cutscene:
Pantalone truly did wanted to be the one to save the day, yet you did not have a say in what he trade away. He waited for this moment ever since his first day in this academy.
“That’s not how you do that." He chuckled as he moved over to you so he could aid you in putting the clothes on, well more like a jewelry thats running across your body like a sash it doesn’t even conceal anything. It felt cold to the touch, making you shiver.
Pantalone steps back to admire the model that wore nothing but gold jewelry on the bed.
Of course, you felt shame that you tried to cover your chest and hid your lower parts using the blanket. No matter what you did, all it does is add more tease for him to unwrap.
After a glance at the name wheel, he smiled before picking up wrapped candy and putting it in his mouth.
This bewilders you until he pressed his lips against yours, passing the hard peice of candy to you. It tasted chokingly sweet yet sour at the same time.
Tongues twirled and swirled around the hard candy, making loud wet squelches.
He moaned as he lean closer to enjoy it further until you were almost going to fall backwards on the bed if you haven’t clung to his clothes.
With one last push, he successfully laid you on the bed, making the gold on your body made satisfying clinks.
“Be a good girl, for master~" he tugged on the leash, rolling up into his fist.
Confused on what he wanted you to do, you only gave a whine. Though afraid if you pissed him off again.
" Down here, Sweet.”
He purred as he pull down his trousers revealing his shaft.
" It’s alright, take it slow.. be careful.” He guided you closer that his free hand is gripping your hair.
“Be… mindful.” He thrusted into your mouth, letting out soft grunts and moans.
The jingle of the gold pieces on your body sound whenever you and him made skin-on-skin contact.
“Af… after this… you.. you got .. puzzle… solve.. “ Bated breath, Pantalone reminded you of the tast he given you. Though it was an excuse to get behind you and do unspeakable things.
Hints of tears began to appear on your eyes as you felt his tip poking down your throat. You wanted to speak, but all you could do is suck on this one-eyed snake.
The night is only half eaten afterall.
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cowgurrrl · 10 months
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United in Grief
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (except this is all backstory)
Author’s note: I’m sorry
Summary: “My mom honks her car horn every time she drives past the cemetery her friend is buried in. This is what I think love is: everlasting. Deathless.” [1.8k]
Warnings: if you’ve been reading this far, you know what to expect
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April 7th, 1998
You're trying to figure out how you got here. You think the nurses are trying to figure out the same thing. You answer their questions in between contractions, your body shaking and overheating all at the same time. Your water broke at home while you were getting ready for school. You probably shouldn't have even thought about going when your Braxton-Hicks contractions were so bad. Still, you needed to finish school somehow. You were sitting down in the bathroom when it happened.
"Is there anyone we can call for you?" A nurse asks, snapping you out of your head as she checks your and the baby's heart rate. "Boyfriend? Parents? Friend?"
"There's no boyfriend, and I don't think any of my friends care enough to come," you sigh, rubbing your belly. "Besides, everyone's still at school."
"What about your mom? I'm sure she'd want to be here with you." She says gently, but the words feel like sandpaper rubbing over your skin. The baby kicks, and you press your hand back, letting her know you feel her.
"If you can get her to answer the phone, it'd be a low-level miracle."
"She's not supportive?"
"Having a pregnant sixteen-year-old was never on the bucket list. She hasn't spoken to me since I told her about the baby. Neither has the father, and I… I understand what it looks like." you say. You've read the statistics about teen moms and how they are less likely to finish high school. You're determined not to be a part of that statistic. You will make life perfect for this baby. No matter the cost. "But I got emancipated when I was three months pregnant, and I'm living in an apartment owned by one of my classmate's dads, and he's giving me reduced rent. And I work part-time at a restaurant. People love to tip the pregnant girl, right? So, we'll be okay. I'll be okay."
"It's okay if you're not." The nurse says, but you shake your head.
"I need to be okay for her."
"You're having a girl?" She asks, and you hum. She smiles and glances at the different machines you're hooked up to, making sure everything is in order. "Well, it sounds like she's very lucky to have you as her mama."
"Thank you." You mumble. It's the nicest thing anyone's said to you in months.
The nurse stays with you as your contractions get closer together and more painful. She rubs your back when you throw up and keeps you upright when they administer your epidural. Eventually, in your drugged-up, sleep-deprived state, you ask her to, at least, try to call some people for you. You give her Matt, your mom's, and a few friends' phone numbers. If anyone answers, she doesn't tell you. She doesn't have to. She just returns and perches on the edge of your bed, her hand resting on your knee.
"Y'know, I have a daughter about your age," she says. "She's super smart. Motivated. Beautiful, too, and don't get me wrong. She's made some mistakes. Some really big ones. But I'd hope that if she were ever in this position, I'd be able to find the courage to be as brave as you are right now," she squeezes your knee, and you wipe at your eyes, unexpected tears leaking from your eyes. "We're gonna help you have this little girl, okay?"
She doesn't leave your side, even when you're yelling loud obscenities, and the room devolves into controlled chaos. She coaches you through every contraction and even braids your hair so it's out of your sweaty face. Your doctor and two other nurses come in once you're fully dilated to help support you and the doctor. The rain outside pounds harder on the windows as you try to push and breathe when you're supposed to, but it's so hard, and you're so tired. You've been working too hard. You haven't been sleeping enough. You definitely haven't been drinking enough water. What if you've already fucked up as a mom? What if there's no coming back from this?
Your doctor says something about needing to push harder; otherwise, you'll have to have an emergency c-section, and you start sobbing— full-bodied, earth-shattering sobs. The nurse who braided your hair shushes you gently and dabs a damp rag against your forehead. You look at her and cry harder.
"I'm scared." You admit.
"I know you are, baby, but you're so close. Can I tell you something I tell my daughter?" She asks, and you nod through your tears. "Whenever you're feeling scared, just squeeze my hand as hard as you can, and I'll take all your fear from you, alright? Show me what you got." She takes your hand in yours, and you squeeze as the next contraction takes your attention. A few minutes later, in a room full of women, you deliver your daughter with a scream loud enough to shake the entire floor, but she's silent. You look at the nurse holding your hand worriedly.
"She's not crying. Why isn't she crying?"
"Sometimes, babies have a hard time adjusting to being outside the womb. We'll get her crying, don't worry." Time seems to freeze as you watch the doctor rub your daughter's back until she rears her head back and wails. You let out a big breath, and a moment later, she's placed on your chest. You don't realize you're still holding the nurse's hand, but she doesn't let go. She lets you squeeze her until you stop shaking long enough to put your other hand on the back of your daughter's head.
She's so small and has so much hair. You stare down at her like she's the most precious jewel anyone could've ever discovered as she cries and cries. You kiss her forehead and vaguely tune into something the doctor is trying to tell you about recovery. You nod, but you're not listening. You're focusing on how your daughter's lungs expand and contract and how her heart beats against yours like it was always meant to be. Like it was forever and always supposed to be you and her.
You let the nurse holding your hand take the baby to get cleaned up as the rest of the nurses and the doctor run around to ensure you have everything you need. Once things settle and your daughter is back in your arms, people gradually leave the room for you to bask in her beauty. Now that she's here, everything seems so real, so important. The weight on your shoulders doesn't feel as heavy with her next to you, but it's still there. You're sure you'll cry later about not knowing what the fuck you're doing, but it's okay. It has to be. You're a mom now.
"I'm gonna go get some paperwork done, okay? If you need anything, even if it's just a friend, you press this button." The nurse says, putting the call button next to you in bed, and you nod.
"Thank you…" you trail off, realizing the nurse never told you her name, and she smiles, looking between you and the baby.
"Jane."
June 2nd, 2008
You're trying to figure out how you got here, outside the walls but in the opposite direction of the Shell station. You told Lee you didn't want to do any more drops so close to when Jane gets out of school. Still, the promised payout was enough of an incentive. You and Mrs. Carmichael have gotten closer since Adam died. She told you about her husband, who died long before the outbreak, and how she never changed her name back. You told her about Adam and what he meant to you. It felt like soldiers passing war stories back and forth to figure out why they were thrust onto battlefields, trying to find out what they did wrong to get drafted into a war they never imagined. She's kind. You trust her. It made sense to ask her to pick Jane up today.
Jane's been having a hard time in the past few months. A few weeks after Adam died, she asked you if he was her father. She admitted she doesn't remember much from before the outbreak and told you she vaguely remembers Outbreak Day. She's never really known a world without Adam until now. You wanted to lie and say yes. You wanted to tell her that, of course, she was a product of this beautiful, kind, amazing man. You wanted her never to know or claim Matt. You still don't know why you said no.
She barely wanted to celebrate her birthday two months ago but plastered on a smile when you surprised her with new notebooks and pencils for her to write with. These days, she's locking herself in her room with Adam's radio and her words. You remind her you love her and are there to talk, but she just nods and disappears. She's getting older. You can't shield her from the world forever, but goddammit, if you can't try for as long as you can.
You've connected with two guys on the radio who have a safe house in a safe, abandoned neighborhood in Boston. They've been giving you tips on how to find and keep a safe place outside of the QZ. With all the smugglers, weapons dealers, and survival skills you know, for the first time, it's feasible. It's possible. You could take her out of the QZ and build her that home in the forest where she could actually be a kid. You just need a few months. You can do it. You will do it for her.
Catherine's group shows up right on time, a desperate attempt to show how sorry they are for what happened the last time they were late. You don't make eye contact with her as you trade for the shit you need to. She's about to open her mouth to say something, and your fists ball up at whatever she could have to say when an ear-splitting sound emerges from the QZ. The ground shakes with the force, and you reach for your gun like you're waiting for it to happen again.
"Probably some Fireflies and FEDRA playing hot potato again," one of Catherine's guys says. "They've been throwing bombs at each other for the past month in our QZ." And just like that night you first saw fighter jets circling your city, you get an unmistakable sinking feeling in your stomach.
You start running back, praying to whatever god will still take pity on you after every sin you've committed to keep your little girl safe.
You wish you knew your prayers were landing on deaf ears. You would've run faster.
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lady-jane-asher · 1 month
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April 5th 2024, happy beloved 78th birthday to the one and only Jane! She’s been my inspiration for around 12 years since I first discovered about her. It’s been a wonderful journey getting to share new pictures I find, my scans, colourisations and accurate information in regards of the pictures I found. May I be able to meet her one day. 🤍
This post will be divided in two, as the picture shown was used for two different newspapers that I scanned therefore the subtle mark on the photos. And you might have seen the photos with my old username so I am sharing them with the new one!
Jane Asher and Gawn Grainger as Juliet Capulet and Romeo in ��Romeo and Juliet” presentation while being on tour in the USA, 1967.
First picture is my edition and enhancement from historical picture auction scan, second one is my scan from the newspaper, and third one is the scan of the newspaper.
Jane Asher-More Than a Beatle's Bird
In cities all across the U.S. this spring Beatle fans are swarming to a touring production of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet staged by the Bristol Old Vic Company. When Juliet appears on stage for the first time the reaction is almost always the same. Applause thunders through the theater. Flash bulbs pop—electrifying the scene like summer lightning. At the end of the play young girls scream the name of the actress who plays Juliet: "Jane Asher! Jane Asher!" This is the girl they have come to see. To a Beatle fan Jane Asher's romance is even more exciting than the story of Romeo and Juliet. Jane Asher, in case you haven't heard, is the girl friend of Paul McCartney-the last unmarried Beatle.
An Interview With Jane
To find out what kind of girl dates a Beatle and also has enough talent to
perform in one of England's most respected theatre groups, CURRENT EVENTS Editor Nancy Malone talked to Jane Asher in New York City. The 20-year-old actress seemed puzzled when asked why teen-age girls scream for her. "I don't really know," she said “and I don’t think they’re quite sure themselves. Once they’re with me, they seem a little lost and aren’t sure what to do or say”.
Miss Asher, in contrast to her fans, is not at all confused. She is looking the forward to a successful career in the theatre—on her own merit, not because of her friendship with a Beatle. The actress with the golden-red hair is well on her way to stardom. Her portrayal of Juliet with England’s Bristol Old Vic company has been highly praised. The company is nearing the end of 16-city american tour, which began in Boston last January. After appearances next month in Bloomington, Ind., Detroit, and Cleveland, the company will perform at expo 67 in Montreal. Then the actors and actresses will retur to England.
Does Jane Asher hope to do more Shakespeare? "Oh, yes." she said, “I'd like to do all the Shakespearean heroines-especially Lady Macbeth. But I'd also like to do modern comedy. I wouldn't like ever to stick to just one thing. For example, I don't want to do all movies or all stage. Though if I had to choose, I'd choose stage. I like having a live audience.
Movie Fame Unimportant
"I know you can become more famous by being in movies,", Jane said. "but I've had a taste of that kind of glamor, and I know I don't want it. I want to be a good actress." Jane, who has been acting since she was five years old, comes from a show business family. Her brother, Peter Asher, has toured the U.S. several times. He makes up one-half of the popular singing duo Peter and Gordon.
But Jane hesitates to encourage outer young people to become entertainers. "It's really not the glamorous life people imagine. It's hard work with rehearsals all day and shows every night. And when you come right down to it, acting is really only pretending you're something else on stage." Although Jane made several films during her childhood, she attended regular m schools—not acting schools for m professionals. "I'm glad I got a normal education," she said. "I think it gave me a more balanced view of life. In addition to several Shakespearean roles, Jane has played Alice in Alice in Wonderland, Wendy in Peter Pan, and Eliza Doolittle in Pygmalion. Juliet, however, is the highlight of her career.
Jane and the Bard
She is particularly delighted that she is helping to acquaint American teenagers with Shakespeare. She commented on her own attitude as a 13-year-old: "I suppose I felt as all English schoolchildren do-that Shakespeare was pretty dull stuff with lots of language I didn't understand. I know I wasn't mad about it." Now, at 20, she believes that Shakespeare wrote "the greatest roles in the world." She added: "On this tour, I've gotten a lot of mail and it has meant a great deal to me. Some of the letters from kids say “We came to see you. We were so surprised. We really liked the play.” “That’s great. That’s a real accomplishment to me —as an actress”.
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bigmeatbro · 1 year
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By now, when you've discovered yourself to be a cockpred for at least a decade, you start to easily recognize when that feeling of hunger down there begins, and your cock wants something to swallow. But with practice you can control that hunger for a little while if you have to, like if you aren't able to swallow someone in that moment. Hell, some preds prefer to wait for the right moment to strike, not to rush having a meal, and can wait a long time for a good prey. Regardless of how a pred eats however, just like hunger for food, sometimes you can go from 0 to 100 in terms of needing prey. And you'll become desperate to satisfy that craving, you can't ignore those pred instincts forever. It's very dangerous for a pred to tone down that side of them for too long of a time. Well, at least dangerous for any unlucky soul who meets a starved pred.
I was hitting up my best friend Rick at our usual pub hangout this evening. We first met as teens in school and we've been tight since day one. Love that dude, he always got me. Still, even if he was my bro I could never bring myself to tell him what my cock does. I never even once thought of eating him before, he was that close to me. Anyway, tonight was supposed to a normal night out, and it's been a while since we met up, about a week ago. We normally hang out every day. He's been incredibly busy with work and so have I. Coincidentally, my last cock meal was also about a week ago, and it has been needing prey badly. A week with no prey is roughly my limit. My cock has never gone a full week with no meal, there's always a few at the minimum per week. I only have so much reserves before it would just swallow the first guy it senses, no matter who it is, and no matter where we are. I'd love to have shoved a guy down my shaft by then, I just haven't had the time to properly hunt this week. I knew it was a risk to meet up with Rick without a good meal in me, but with how our schedules are, it had to be like this. I thought that once he left I'd immediately find a different guy right after and swallow the bastard in private, but my hunger had other plans.
Rick and I had a few beers at the bar already, and I had to break the seal, and went to take a leak. He had to go as well and joined me in the washroom. It was just us in there. Suddenly, I feel an incredible hunger form just as I'm about to finish my piss. I've been neglecting my pred instincts for so long. I feel a bit dazed and really warm. Fuck... my nuts need to churn someone badly. My cock maw is drooling for food, my pre already spewing a bit. I need cock food!! I went into pred mode, and instantly I was wanting to go for Rick since it was just us. Sure he's been a good friend... but I could get other friends, right? At this point, Rick is still taking a leak as my cock is starting to expand. Then I have a quick relapse; should I really take away my best friend like this?... No, I need to eat. This is how it is. Plus, this way he can get to know the real me, even if it will be brief.
Just then, this other dude comes in and takes the spot inbetween me and Rick. Boy did he pick a bad time to piss, he became a shield to Rick. With my hunger being so extreme in that moment plus knowing that I might not eat my best friend, I said fuck it. I finally let go of everything and I was nothing more than a starved cock pred in that moment. I didn't even care to see if this dude was my type of cock food I would go for normally. I didn't care how Rick would think of me after he saw what I do. I grabbed my prey on the back of his neck just as my cock grew to a few foot long, then longer, and it went right for his head. I shoved him even deeper in my shaft, my dick slit slurping him in further. He was wailing inside and freaking out as the shaft walls closed in on him, which got wide on the outsider when his whole torso got in. I know my cock was especially hungry after waiting all this time because usually mine likes taking a minute to enjoy the feeling of a meal go down, but this guy was already knees deep in my cock in a matter of seconds, a personal record for me. Even his clothes felt amazing being swallowed in the shaft instead of being a bit chaffing inside. I was that hungry. Fuck, it felt good to let my cock go to town. The only piece of clothing that didn't get in were his shoes, with his clean high tops falling to the floor from the tip of my cock, which was several feet tall at its apex with this guy fully in it. Now that my cock was satisfied, I took a second to see just who I ate. Judging by what I felt inside, along with the outline of him, it was some tall broad fella, probably a gym bro. Damm, he felt fantastic each time his big body tried to escape, but my precum let him slide down to my nuts in no time. Once that happened and he fell in, I took a bit of a breather and my cock started to slowly go back to its normal-big shape.
Through all of that, I get a jolt of memory... Rick! Did I swallow him too, or did I not? I turn my head to see Rick looking shocked as hell from the ordeal. I don't think he will ever realize just how close he was to being in my balls right now. "Bro, the fuck did you just do?" he uttered in only a semi-concerned voice. I explained that I gotta eat. As this guy was squirming in my nuts thrashing for help while being turned to ball batter, I told Rick about me being a cockpred and what that means. Maybe he was more tipsy than I thought, but after explaining all of that, all he did was just laugh and said "That's downright insane man. Damm you're wild!" and patted me on the back with a smirk. I chuckle. That's why I love this guy, nothing fazes Rick, even when making a guy some snack for my dick in front of him. By now, I knew that I already digested this dude based on how he stopped moving in my balls suddenly, and they looked more smooth and a bit smaller now. That surprised me, I never have churned someone this fast before. I was beyond hungry. Rick asked me then what happens after my cock ate someone. Knowing that I need to unload badly, I paused and said "Just watch".
It only takes a few strokes when I'm hard to blast this churned up guy out. I was already quite turned on by the whole situation since it was so spontaneous, but this sent me over the edge. I barely had enough time to tell Rick to stand back before I was shooting so much cum everywhere. It shot out super fast and went on for a long time. It was peeling paint off tiles, splattered back off the wall and hitting us in recoil, cracking and denting the metal in the urinals... my churned loads being powerful (even by normal pred standards) are one of my favourite parts of being a cock pred. Makes me feel like a god. I already blasted gallons but there was more. I shot out some of my meal's clothes towards the end. Baseball cap, tank top, gold chain, basketball shorts... totally drenched and soaked in this thick bro cum, firing out of me one after the other. After a whole minute of gushing out like a broken fire hydrant, my cock relaxes and I manage to finally get my junk back in my shorts. It's a snug fit, but that's how it is if you eat someone in public rapidly. The whole time, Rick was in pure awe. Once it was all done, he yelled "You're a fucking beast! Had no idea you could do that, you gotta teach me that shit!" like he just watched a freakshow. I just laughed and reminded him that nobody is truly safe from a cockpred, dropping him a hint. All in all, it was a good night. I managed to get a good meal in, and Rick not only knows about my pred status but seems cool with my secret life. Maybe I should introduce him to more aspects of it...
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drownedinlavender · 10 months
Text
Helloooo, so I'm writing a long kyman fic. It's gonna be a slow burn multi-chapter one. I got like a good 1/3 of it down with like a skeleton of events mapped out. Since I haven't been active in any fandom or like written fanfic since I was a teen, I wanted to post an excerpt to kinda test the waters a bit haha I'm kinda shy about sharing stuff but was greatly inspired by a lot of people's work.
Anyway, the premise is Cartman impulsively taking the fall on something and being admitted to inpatient cause of it. This excerpt is when he facetimes the gang to tell them about it. Stan and Kenny are at school during lunch, Kyle's at the hospital (has to do with what Cartman took the blame for), and Eric's at home about to leave.
I'd greatly appreciate any criticism or input! Thank u for ur time 💜💖 ^^)/
"Dude, a psych ward? That sounds pretty serious," Stan looks mildly concerned.
"It is serious, Stan. That's why Kyle's gonna owe me big time when I get back," Eric smuggly declares, "Like sucking my balls big big time."
Kenny sneakers at the brunette still obsessing over a bet they made years ago when they were just kids.
"Man, you gotta lay off the balls thing, Cartman. That's hella gay," Stan drily informs while munching on a fry.
"Hey! It's not gay! It's about humiliation and having power over an individual," Eric offendedly denies, choosing to die on that hill.
Kyle, who has been absolutely seething in the background, finally bursts, "Fuck you, Cartman! I didn't ask you to cover for me, you did that all on your own!"
Eric scoffs, "Okay, fine, Kahl, would you prefer me going to PC principal and telling him I take it all back. That he should take you off the team like he wanted? Is that what you want, Kahl?"
Kyle tenses his jaw muscles as he grinds his teeth. Of course that's not what he wants but is Cartman holding one over his head any better? His eyes flicker to the side as he contemplates for a brief moment. Stan continues eating, staring at his screen waiting for his best friend to speak as if he's watching an enthralling reality tv show. Once Kenny's giggling fit finally subsides, he lays his head on one outstretched arm and sneaks a French fry from whoever's lunch tray is right across from him.
"Fine," Kyle bitterly concedes with a sigh, "but I'm not helping you do anything illegal like murder or whatever. And I'm definitely not sucking your balls," he points at Cartman through the screen.
"Oh…" a small voice utters in surprise across the room from Kyle. The redhead looks up at a shocked nurse half way through the door. "I-I'll come back in a second to check your vitals," she embarrassedly scurries out of the room.
Kyle's mortified face soon matches his hair. "God, damn it, Cartman!"
Kenny practically dies of laughter, not even bothering to hold his phone up right anymore.
"Dude," Stan snorts before cracking up as well.
Kyle hides his face with one hand, trying with every fiber of his being to maintain any ounce of composure he can muster before combusting from rage.
Eric's amused smile warps into a shit eating grin, he absolutely could not be any more delighted by the current turn of events. He obnoxiously clears his throat before continuing, "Very well, I'll leave a legally binding contract in your room before departing, Kahl. Now Kenny," he seamlessly changes the topic.
Kenny straightens himself out the best he can. "Uh-huh?" He responds through tears.
"Wait a second, fatass, do NOT break into my room!" Kyle protests.
Eric purposely ignores his rival, knowing it'll anger him further. "Kenny, my mom says you can use your spare key to clear out my fridge whenever. She's gonna stay up in Denver with some cousin until I'm out. We don't want the food rotting up and stinking up the place so do it sooner rather than later, got it?"
"Seriously, dude?!" Kenny immediately straightens himself out in elated surprise. Woohoo!" He cheers. He knows their fridge is always packed so he and his little sister are definitely set for bit.
"Knock yourself out, dude, just don't let anything rot in there. Seriously, I'll kick your ass if I come back and my house reeks like spoiled ass."
"You got it, bro," Kenny assures with a thumbs up.
"Don't ignore me, asshole!" Kyle's demands only serve to further Cartman's amusement.
"Welp, gotta go pack up some essentials. Don't know how long I'll have to be admitted … but it's all worth it for my dear friend Kahl's sake," Eric fakes sincerity. With a hand over his heart, he winks at Kyle.
"Oh, Fuck off," Kyle rolls his eyes.
"Well, good luck, dude. Don't blow up the place trying to escape," Stan waves goodbye from his screen.
"Guys, wanna say bye to Cartman? He's gonna go do some time at a loony bin," Kenny asks, reversing his camera to show the rest of their lunch table.
"We heard. You guys are super loud," Craig complains before biting his burger.
"Hey! Don't call it a loony bin, asswipe! That's totally insensitive to people with mental health issues. Not cool dude," Cartman condescendingly lectures, doing what he does best, playing the victim.
"Cartman's getting admitted? Dude, that's crazy!" Tweek comments.
"Wait, who's getting what now?" Clyde looks up from his phone, unaware of the conversation going on around him.
"Cartman, dude, he got in trouble again so PC principal's sending him to a psych ward," Tweek rapidly explains.
"Oh," Clyde responds in his usual nasally tone.
"All in order to save Kyle from getting kicked off the team," Cartman adds.
"Don't act like you did it from the kindness of your heart, fatass!" Kyle quickly corrects.
"First it's Cartman, then they'll be coming for the rest of us!" The jittery blond panics.
Craig pats his boyfriend's shoulder. "No they won't, honey, we don't cause the town to blow up every other month like they do."
"Hey!" Kyle indignantly exclaims.
"We haven't been directly responsible for the town's destruction for like," Stan counts the time in his head, "at least a year now!" He defends himself and his friends, receiving a middle finger from an unimpressed Craig.
"L-l-later, Eric, don't dr-dro-dr-dro-drop the soap," Jimmy jokes before offering up his signature smile.
"Jim, that's for jail," Tolkien corrects.
"Aw, we'll miss you, Eric! Don't take too long in the psych ward!" Butters gleefully shouts.
Kyle rolls his eyes, feeling himself getting more and more irritated by the situation at hand. "Oh, for Pete's sake, it's not like he's dying, you guys." The longer these farewells are dragging on, the more he can feel a twinge of guilt spreading throughout his subconscious and twisting up his guts.
"Poopsikins, mommy can't find Mr. Kitty's carrier, do you remember where we left it?" Liane can be heard calling from the background.
"Just a second, meeem!" Eric hollers off camera before getting back in frame and sticking out his tongue with a peace sign, "Later, losers ~ " he sings-songs and hangs up.
"You know …. For someone being sent off to an insane asylum, he seems really unbothered by it," Tolkien points out.
Kyle's eyes flicker down for just a second before choosing to quickly dismiss further analyzing Cartman's reaction to being sent away. "Well, yeah, it's Cartman. Do you really expect him to react normally about anything?"
"That's true," Tolkien immediately agrees, chalking it up to Cartman just being Cartman.
For a brief moment, Kyle remembers the time he was admitted when the town wouldn't believe him about Mr. Hankey but before he can even decide on entertaining that thought, Stan speaks.
"Wow … so he's really leaving, huh?" Stan says more than asks, looking a bit absent minded.
"I guess so," Kenny pensively looks down at the lunch table, head resting on crossed arms. He turns to Stan and forlornly admits, "dude … I'm actually feeling kinda bummed out."
Kyle bites the inside of his cheek. The reality of their current predicament further sinking in.
"Aw, Ken," Stan frowns and pats Kenny's shoulder.
"It's okay, Ken," Butters comforts, patting Kenny's back, "he said so himself, he probably won't be there for long."
"Isn't this a good thing though? Things are going to be a lot more peaceful while he's gone," Tolkien suggests.
"If Cartman gets admitted for the rest of the school year, I'll be sooooo happy," Craig chants in a monotone.
A sniffle directs everyone's focus towards Clyde.
"Clyde, you okay, buddy?" Craig puts down his lunch to fully focus on his friend's concerns.
"We *sniff* were starting to *sniff* get along more *sniff* this year," he powers through a closing throat.
Kyle bites his cheek even harder. Cartman was certainly a lot tamer as of late. Things were finally getting comfortable between the two of them, too.
"He was being a lot c-coo-c-coo-cooler this y-year," Jimmy admits.
The nurse knocks before entering Kyle's room this time. "I'm going to take your vitals again, okay?" She smiles.
"Yeah, sure," Kyle replies before addressing his friends, "I gotta go guys. Stan, can you come pick up my keys and move my car before my parents get back? I have a minor concussion so I'm under observation for a bit."
"Yeah, dude, totally," Stan confirms.
"Later," Kenny mumbles, waving with one hand, his face fully immersed in his crossed arms.
"Alright, thanks, see you guys later," Kyle says his goodbyes, queuing the nurse to begin taking his blood pressure.
Kyle barely moves, too busy contemplating Eric's departure. First, Stan moves and now Cartman's going to be gone for God knows how long? He bitterly sighs.
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