Tumgik
#like NO figuring that shit was one of the hardest and scariest parts of my life
styrofauxm · 8 months
Text
"But are you sure you're aroace?"
*glances at a tiny bit of the sheer amount of research, self reflection of parts of me I had been repressing for years, and self doubt I went through to figure out my identity*
"Yeah, pretty sure."
97 notes · View notes
teashoptiramisu · 3 years
Text
Another fic rec list
This started as a rec list for “well-written fics with feral characters”. It kinda got out of control, and I started questioning “what even counts as feral in a characterization sense”, but hopefully some of these hit the mark. They are all fics that I love a lot and recommend more generally! All of these are gen and mostly rated T, unless noted otherwise:
A Dark Night in Ba Sing Se: ATLA, 20k words, first arc complete, on hiatus. Zuko gets arrested for taking the guard’s swords when he fought Jet at the tea shop, but he will not stay arrested, and further shenanigans ensue. Sweet, funny, excellent characterization, many delightful OC’s that really fill out the world of Ba Sing Se.
Towards the Sun – ATLA, 57k words, first arc complete, on hiatus. Same author as the previous (muffinlance). Zuko becomes firelord in rather worse circumstances than canon. TBH the “feral” part doesn’t really come in until near the end, when it turns out that trying his hardest isn’t enough, so he tries something else. Same author as the above, with really excellent characterization, a humorous kind of narration that will keep you laughing through the tension and heartbreak. Beware the angst in the middle but it gets better!
There May Be Some Collateral Damage – Bleach & HP, 60k words, complete. Ichigo is sent to bodyguard Harry for the 5th year, everything is delightfully chaotic and hilarious.
“I don’t take things from people,” Ichigo corrects her indignantly. “I mean, sometimes I chop them up and set them on fire, but I don’t take them. Stealing is wrong.”
Trust Me, I’m an Alchemist – FMA & YOI, 55k words, complete. Also by metisket. What if everyone in Yuri!!! On Ice had to deal with Elrics instead of Yuri Plisetsky? The answer is mafia connections and secondhand trauma but also more friendship and general shenanigans! Incredibly crack-y premise and the beginning to set it up is a bit weird and confusing but I promise the rest of the fic is 100% worth it. So funny, so wonderful, I re-read my favorite bits of this at least once a week. Technically lots of shipping (this is YoI after all) but it’s all played for laughs/characterization, not particularly romantic. I would post a favorite quote like for the above but I couldn’t choose just one.
Play it again – Teen Wolf (but no familiarity required), 63k words, complete. Same author as the previous two (metisket). Dimension-Travel fix it, Stiles is 200% chaotic but he has a plan and it’s gonna work. The Hale family is alive and so much fun, especially Laura. Also very funny, some romance at the very end but it’s pretty low-key.
What Goes Around – Teen Wolf, 71k words, complete. Kate kills Sheriff Stilinksy as well as the Hales, so Stiles and Peter team up to take out hunters like her in revenge. Unlike most of my other recs, this one is not funny, but it is interesting, and while they’re very methodical about it I think the way it handles “serial killers hunting serial killers” definitely counts as feral. Also this one is rated M rather than T and has Stiles/Derek at some point but I forgot the details.
Subject: A Comprehensive Report – BNHA, 83k words, updates very sporadically. Izuku remains quirkless but becomes the scariest damn researcher. I would call this “feral about investigating.” I love the multi-media formatting of this work and the expansive, in-depth worldbuilding the author contributes to explain how the hero system of canon came to be.
Something Borrowed – BNHA, 130k words, abandoned (for now at least). AFO!Izuku, who personality-wise is pretty nice, but when he goes all-out with his quirk he goes all out. I REALLY love the creativity the author brings to exploring and combining quirks, and how the characters work together to figure these things out.
Mr. and Mrs. Todoroki’s Excellent Day at Hero-Con – BNHA, 5k words, complete. I love “hero cosplays at fancon, trolls fans” as a story genre, and for some reason I haven’t really seen that outside of BNHA? Anyways this is one of the most chaotic and fun versions of this. Features Izuku and Uraraka trolling the entire world and especially Todoroki with utter panache. It’s Izuku/Ochako/Shotou but the shipping is pretty low-key.
Looping Back to the Beginning – BNHA, 10k words, complete. Class 1-A is caught in a time loop so they have fun with it. Featuring pranks, taunting villains, general shenanigans. Probably more “chaotic” than “feral”, but it’s a lot of fun!
Yesterday Upon the Stairs – BNHA, 424k words, complete. Look if you read BNHA fics you don’t need me to tell you about this fic, but suffice to say I think it’s status as the most-read English language work on AO3 is entirely deserved. Izuku is particularly feral in Ch. 7-9 (USJ attack), Ch. 26-27 (final exam), Ch. 34-40 (Kamino Ward), Ch. 50-end (Nighteye internship – esp. 57-59 for the showdown with Overhaul).
Twin Swap – BNHA, 55k words, two complete arcs. Fuyumi and Touya get body-swapped, shenanigans ensue. This is funny and cracky and endearing and more towards “found family feels” than feral escalation, but I’m putting it on here b/c Fuyumi is so done with everyone’s shit, and Dabi is, well, Dabi. Background Dabi/Hawks and Fuyumi/Miruko.
Abolish Private Property - Naruto, 27k words, sporadic updates. “The raging communist SI/OC that no one asked for, or really, deserves.” It’s, uh, very cracky but pretty funny. TBH I much more enjoy the sister fic Sanitize but that is the opposite of feral. Yui suffers no fools but she’s here to bring the wonders of modern medicine (what she can of it) to a preindustrial society wracked by war.
Several Yelp! Reviews of the Bridge~Port Brew Pub – Leverage, 900 words, complete. Parker is just always feral but this is my favorite Leverage fic, it’s fun!!
…and I didn’t end up with any FMA recs on here did I? woops. Uh, I recommend going through metisket’s and silentwalrus’ author pages, they both write great ridiculous Elrics. Mind the tags.
335 notes · View notes
adoraang · 4 years
Text
She-Ra Week Day 5 by @fauxghosts
Prompt: PRINCESS PROM / healing
Summary: When Glimmer and Bow bet Adora she can't ask Catra to prom before the end of the spring musical, she gets frustrated with her feelings.So what do you do when you've got a bunch of pent up frustration?You duke it out in the Denny's parking lot with your crush in a lightsaber duel.
Read it on AO3
“You’re not gonna do it.”
“I am not gonna do it,” Adora said dramatically as they stepped off the stage after finishing Act Two.
Their school, after constant begging, had finally decided to do a production of Les Miserables. After doing things like Seussical (they don’t talk about that) and High School Musical (nothing wrong with it, just mundane), the theatre department wanted something more serious. Something that would challenge them.
So they forced their director, Double Trouble, to fight with the school about doing Les Mis. Despite some of the… suggestive stuff from the show, the school probably didn’t want to fight some theatre kids, and let them have their show.
The audition process is always the scariest. Being a soprano, she only had one role really available to her: Cosette. Glimmer and Bow peer pressured her into auditioning for a lead instead of going straight to ensamble, and she still wasn’t going to do it, but then Catra asked her to do it, and she couldn’t say no.
Adora ended up cast as Cosette, and she had practically cried of happiness when the cast list came out. Glimmer had gotten Fantine, being a very low mezzo. But then Catra’s name was listed for Eponine, and she just about proposed right there.
They were far from love interests. In fact, they were love rivals. Sea Hawk was the one playing Marius, and the two girls spent the entire show in love with him, which wasn’t the funnest. Neither of them even liked boys, so for Catra’s character to die because she was delivering a letter to Marius… It was a trip.
Even if they weren’t true love interests, and only shared one song with each other that wasn’t the Act One finale, Catra and Adora still spent the most time in rehearsal together. Ironic, because the one song was called A Heart Full Of Love, and it’s Adora’s hardest song, in her opinion.
She gushed about Catra to Bow and Glimmer everyday in the car home from rehearsal. “Guys, I think my heart is full of love. Would it be weird to ask Double Trouble to switch Marius and Eponine? I’d rather spend the whole show simping about Catra then Sea Hawk-”
“Adora!” Glimmer cut off. “You’ve been halfway in love with Catra since Seussical, and I think that’s saying something. You should tell her. What’s the worst that can happen?”
“She rejects me, never talks to me again, drops out of the show, and I can’t spend the rest of senior year with her or college, since we’re both going to University of San Diego together to major in theatre, and she’ll never want to be in another role with me!”
“You’re freaking out again,” Bow childed, not turning away from the street as he drove. “You know Catra isn’t like that. And I don’t think she’ll reject you in the first place.” “I am so tired of hearing Adora talk about Catra when Catra probably likes her back,” Glimmer growled. “I’m going to do something about it.”
She reached into her pocket, and Adora almost hopped over the console. She thought they were going to call Catra and tell her something, and it was enough to make her take off her seatbelt, despite Bow’s car safety. “Glimmer, wait-”
Instead, she pulled out her wallet. “I will give you fifty dollars if you ask Catra to Princess Prom as a romantic date. I’ll double the offer if you do it before closing night.”
“An extra twenty if she says yes!” Bow chimed in.
Glimmer and Bow don’t struggle with money, so a hundred wasn’t a lot for them, but Adora’s eyes grew wide as she thought about it. Of course, it involved asking Catra out, but she’d figure that out later. “You have a deal.”
“Now please put your seatbelt back on!” Bow screeched, his voice cracking.
Which brought them to now, as they got into position for curtain call. She’d be bowing with Sea Hawk after Catra had hers with Kyle (who played Enjorlas, and it’s still shrouded in mystery how he got the role). Glimmer was one of the first to bow, but she still caught the wink as she walked away.
“That thing is huge,” Catra mumbled when she got in line backstage, waiting for their cue.
Adora looked down at her costume. The huge wedding dress wasn’t her favorite costume from the show, but it couldn’t be more appropriate for the moment (or inappropriate, take the pick). Catra couldn’t look more beautiful in her sleeveless white shirt and brown skirt that hit the floor. Despite the fact that the belt on her waist was big on her and she had dirt slathered all over her, she’s never looked better. Plus the red cap… That stupid thing was going to be the death of her.
“It’s always been like this,” Adora replied, falling into her place next to Sea Hawk, who busied himself with Kyle. Her heart thumped with the question. She doubted Catra had feelings for her, but she could always ask as a friend. Not like Glimmer and Bow needed to know anyways…
Bow had been a life saver in tech. He always knew when to turn off people’s mics, including that one time he turned off Catra’s when she started shit talking principal Hordak backstage when he came to watch rehearsal. Luckily, he turned them off now as Adora made her attempts to approach the subject.
“Princess Prom.” That’s not a question, it’s a statement! “Uh, I mean…”
“Catra, you and Kyle are next,” Scorpia, their stage manager, said.
Catra nodded, then turned back to her. “So, this is it, huh.. Our last curtain call as seniors, being cast as the leads for the first time, our last show in general until San Diego.”
“Don’t remind me.” She already cried in her car as she drove herself and Catra to school, emotional about ending her last show already. Closing nights are always a mess, but it just hits differently as seniors, and when you’re playing love rivals with the girl you’re pretty in love with.
“I’ll see you on the flip side,” she whispered before she ran out on stage, the bright lights shining down on her.
Even though Adora could only see Catra’s back, they were both sad about this being their last show. They had identical tears pricking their eyes, and when she rushed off stage with Kyle, she braced herself for the emotions to come.
She took Sea Hawk’s hand, and they ran to center stage when Scorpia gave them their cue. She couldn’t stop the tears from coming, even as she bunched her dress in her hands to give the curtsey bow. Sea Hawk did the Jeremy Jordan bow, where he clasps his hands in front of him and takes his bow.
Their last show…
The cast got into a line going horizontal, pointing to their lovely orchestra for their part of the bow. They started to make their way backstage again, and Adora took Catra’s hand. For emotional support, you know? She wasn’t going to see the blinding lights or the tech week shenanigans or the mic taped to her forehead in high school again! Obviously she’s going to be very dramatic about it.
As the cast made their way to the green room, everyone was in the same mood: sad. Catra had opted for letting go of her hand to wrap an arm around her shoulders as they silently sniffled. She was going to miss this…
“Closing night isn’t over, people!” Sea Hawk shouted, pumping a fist into the air. “Let’s go say goodbye to Double Trouble, and head over to Denny's!”
Ah, yes. The theatre kid ritual. Every show, they have to go to Denny'safter closing. It’s the law, and she looked forward to it every time. It always created the best memories, like when the obnoxious senior from last year, Octavia, got arrested for stealing a shopping cart.
Denny's always made her night.
“He’s not wrong,” Catra said to her. “Am I driving with you?”
“Duh.” Wasn’t that a given? Or was it too forward to assume. Or maybe-
“That’s what I thought.”
But when they stepped into the green room, all thoughts of Catra disappeared (for one second exactly) as Double Trouble walked in, whopping loudly. They gave their speech about this being one of the funnest shows to do, but Adora was too busy wiping her wet cheeks to really listen.
“Go out there, kids, and rule the goddamn theatre world!” Double Trouble finished, dismissing them for the night.
“To Denny's!” Glimmer exclaimed, giving everyone the pick-me-up they needed.
“To Denny's,” Catra repeated to her, quieter. To Denny'sit was. They walked to the parking lot, heading to her car, but Glimmer caught her wrist as she was opening her door.
“You only have a couple hours left. Use them wisely.” Satisfied with her words of wisdom, Glimmer got into the passenger side of Bow’s car parked next to them.
“I’m really going to kill them,” Adora whispered to herself as she put the key into the ignition. Her little yellow beetle may not be anything for any other high school kid, but it was perfect for her.
“Why?” Catra asked, having apparently heard her. Rats.
“Because.” And it was left at that before Adora opened her mouth again. “Princess Prom. That’s a thing that’s going on. It’s going on very soon. Like, in a month soon.”
“Yes, what about it?” Catra seemed so dismissive of it. She looked out the window, listening to Somebody’s Watching Me on the radio. Was she even going to go? What if she asked and Catra had no plans of going, and Adora’s unknowingly forcing her into it?
“Nothing.”
“Oh…” Catra traced the window with her nail. Now why was she all deflated? This girl is way too confusing for her brain. “I want to go, but I don’t want to be alone.”
Adora is going to kill someone. Seriously, all it would take is driving the car into Denny's. “Really? You’re going?”
“Not as of right now, but I kind of want to. Like I wouldn’t wear a dress or heels. But… I would want to wear a suit and maybe get my nails a color that isn’t black. But I don’t know who I’d go with.”
She momentarily turned away from the road to look at Catra. Bow would be screaming at her right now, but she couldn’t find it in her to care. She was basically given an invitation to ask, but what if Catra didn’t want her to ask? What if she’s just talking about it? What if she wants Adora to set her up with someone else?
Catra opened her mouth to say something, but she got distracted by something gleaming in the backseat. “There’s no way I didn’t notice these earlier!”
She reached into the back, leaning across the console. Her white sweater rode up on her waist, and Adora exploded into a blush at the sight of some skin. Seriously, what is wrong with her? And because she doesn’t get cold, she wore a cropped red cami and regular black jeans. Her outfit did nothing to hide the blush.
Catra came back up, holding the hilt of two lightsabers. They were both big Star Wars nerds, and she spent thirty dollars (each) on these sabers. But the money from the bet would pay it back, if she actually did it. Catra dove into the backseat again, bringing the two sticks of plastic that she fastened back onto the hilt.
She pressed a button, and the blue light from Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber lit up the car. Catra stared at the saber, and Adora couldn’t help but notice how her skin managed to light up perfectly in the blue light. “Try the red.”
Catra turned off the blue saber, and grabbed a hold of Darth Vader’s lightsaber. The red added a dangerous feeling to the atmosphere. Blue was fun and playful. Red was full of passion, and the silence that followed afterward proved her point.
Finally, Catra cleared her throat, moving the saber around a bit. “Oh, I like this one.”
“But I like that one,” Adora protested as she pulled into a parking space at Denny’s. She could see everyone had already arrived. Not like she was driving slower than usual just to get a couple more seconds of conversation. No doubt they would see the red light and question what they were doing.
She pointed the end of the saber at Adora. “Well then, I guess it’s going to have to be a duel to the fate.”
Adora rolled her eyes at the reference, but grabbed the blue saber from the console, igniting it with the push of a button. “Okay, Eponine ‘I Died Delivering A Letter To My Love Interest That Was Actually About Another Girl’ Thénardier.”
“That’s the show’s fault, not mine.”
“Unimportant.”
Catra opened the car door, bouncing to Adora's side within seconds. She hastily took off her seatbelt, practically sprinting out of the driver's seat, spinning the hilt in her hand. “I’m pretty sure you’ve never fought with one of these.”
Adora scoffed. “I own them.”
“Yeah, just like I’m gonna own you!” Catra charged forward, raising her saber above her head before bringing it down on Adora. She barely had time to respond, lifting her own saber to block it as she sunk down to her knee.
“Hey, I just ordered our table! It’ll be ready in a couple minutes,” Scorpia said as she came out the door in time to see Adora stand and knock Catra away from her. “What are you guys doing?”
Catra held Adora in a parry as she turned around to yell, “Fighting, duh!”
“Yeah, we see that!” Bow shouted as Adora brought her sword back to her chest, making Catra stumble as they slowly moved away from her car. “Why are you guys mad?”
“Not real fighting!” Adora answered, moving in closer to Catra as their sabers met in the middle time and time again. “I’m defending my honor and rights!” “Yeah, her rights to dance with me instead of fighting in a parking lot!” Catra responded.
Adora faltered at that. Before she could begin overthinking what that meant in the middle of a lightsaber duel in the Denny's parking lot with the entire cast of Les Mis watching, Catra caught her saber and twisted her arm, causing Adora to completely let go of her saber.
“It’s over, Adora. I have the high ground,” Catra boasted.
“Not yet!” She dropped down low, catching the saber by the hilt before it hit the ground. She brought her blade back up, the two of them getting caught in another round of aimlessly swinging and blocking.
“You guys are ridiculous!” Glimmer shouted, her head in her hands.
“You don’t appreciate the true art of Star Wars like we do!” Adora yelled back.
Truthfully, this isn’t how she expected her last post closing night dinner at Denny’s to go.
When she was talking about it to Catra on their way to school, they imagined a tearful night. Majority of the cast and crew were seniors, and everyone loved them. Glimmer had basically adopted a little sophomore, Frosta, who played Gavroche (no one even noticed the genderbend!). They all thought they were going to be sad, and cry in the back of Scorpia’s pick up truck as they sang One Day More as a cast, one last time.
Instead, Adora was sword fighting Catra in the parking lot as all of their friends watched.
A great conclusion to her senior year musical, honestly.
Adora stood in front of Catra for a moment as they caught their breath. In an instant, they started twirling their sabers in their hands. The light from the blue and red was a whirlwind, and Catra laughed as they recreated that one scene from their favorite Star Wars movie: Revenge of the Sith.
Catra’s laugh was intoxicating. It made Adora let out her own giggle. They went back to fighting after a second, but Catra’s face illuminated by the red light in the nighttime made her stomach go up in butterflies.
“You were supposed to join me, not leave me in darkness!” Catra recited, smiling the whole time.
Adora swiped the saber at her feet, and Catra hopped over it. “Well, I love you!”
She froze, and Catra even faltered. But because she froze, Catra pushed her onto her back, pointing the red saber at her. “I know!”
For a moment, she forgot it was a reference to another one of the movies. But Adora let her saber fall out of her hand, looking up at Catra. The red light was stunning. Everyone else around them had fallen silent to watch the exchange. She then realized no one else knew what the reference was from.
“Guys, it’s from one of the movies!” Adora called out from her place on the ground. “Empire Strikes Back, it’s pretty good. You guys should watch it!”
Catra panted, looking down at her. “What?”
She was equally as confused. “What? What happened?”
“Oh, forget it.” Catra turned off the saber, holding her hand out instead. “Want to rule a galaxy together instead?”
“How about we start by taking over Broadway,” Adora grinned, helping herself up with Catra’s assistance. She turned off the blue saber, but they continued to stare at each other. Catra continued to hold her hand, but neither made any attempt to move away.
“Did we just hash everything out in a Denny’s parking lot?” Catra asked.
“I think we did..”
“Adora!” Glimmer shouted, interrupting their staring contest. “So like, I have a hundred with me. Bow has a twenty, but…”
The bet. A hundred and twenty dollars if she successfully asked her crush out to Princess Prom and didn’t get rejected. But they just beat each other up with plastic toys from the Disney store. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Or maybe they were, but then one of them would fall to the dark side and tragically die. Who knows?
“Oh, that thing where Glimmer and Bow were going to give you money if you asked me to Princess Prom?” Catra raised an eyebrow, laughing at Adora’s horrified face. “Bow told Scorpia, and she accidentally let it slip.”
Adora groaned. She wanted to go fall in a hole and die in a ditch. Maybe she should’ve been shot on stage instead of Catra. “Yeah, about that-”
“I’ve been waiting for you to ask me,” Catra said, tightening her hold on her hand. “I didn’t think I wanted to go, but then I heard that and I realized… maybe I did. The dances and stuff always felt really corporate to me, and it wasn’t my thing. But I went home everyday wondering why you hadn’t asked me yet, and then I realized-”
“Oh my god I am so sorry,” Adora interrupted. She was horrified. Catra knew the entire time. She’s been tripping over herself for the two months of rehearsal and three weeks of the actual production, but never stopped to think what if she already knew. She’s absolutely mortified. “You got dragged into this mess of a joke between me and Glimmer then Bow came in and I just thought, I don’t know. I don’t think or I think too much. Oh my god, I can not believe this is happening!”
Catra chuckled when she spoke without a pause. “Breathe. I’m not mad. Or upset or anything like that. I like you too, Adora.”
Her cheeks flamed. “You did?”
She nodded. “You’re not exactly subtle, per say…”
Adora didn’t feel like crying out of embarrassment anymore. She put her free hand in her pocket, ghosting her fingers over Catra’s knuckles with the other. “You actually like me?”
Another nod, accompanied with a gorgeous laugh. “Yes. Yes, I like you and all your high notes. You think I liked seeing you kiss Sea Hawk every rehearsal and show?” They both laughed. Neither of them like it, apparently, because Adora didn’t. “You and your private story where you rewatch Clone Wars with me and we both cry, and I get to see the video and laugh at how oblivious you were to notice that I liked you. You and your bootleg pirating, despite the fact that Newsies is your favorite and it’s literally proshot. So yeah, Adora. I do like you. You and your overthinking.”
Adora was over the moon, and she wanted to stay here in the parking lot all night and talk. But first, she had something to conclude. “So, Princess Prom. That’s a thing we should go to together.”
“We should.”
They did.
191 notes · View notes
margridarnauds · 3 years
Note
margrid arnaud das music-i mean marie antoinette das musical for that ask meme
LET’S GO
 Top 5 favourite characters: Margrid, Orléans, Louis, Marie, Fersen
Other characters you like: Lamballe, the kids, Robespierre, Danton, Immortal Marat
Least favourite characters: Hébert, Bertin, Hébert, Leonard, Jacques Réne Hébert, Drouet, Hébert...
Otps: Margrid/Orléans, Marie/Louis....I COULD ship Margrid/Lamballe and Margrid/La Motte but let’s be real I’m not going to, Marie/Orléans in a very specific way (namely Bitter Ex Friends)
Notps: Hébert/Margrid, Fersen/Margrid, Hébert/Orléans
Favourite friendships: Fersen & Margrid, Lamballe & Antoinette, Orléans & Lamballe (not canon to the musical, but was a historical Thing), Orléans & Margrid when I’m not actively shipping them. 
Favourite family: Marie’s family, especially her dynamic with Margrid (LET ! MARGRID ! BE ! THE WEIRD! AUNT!) and Louis’ odd dynamic with Orléans. Really, MA is just the story of one very, very dysfunctional family. 
Favourite season/book/movie: 2018 Toho Production. 
Favourite quotes: .....showing myself for the Orléans Stan I am: “Oh, cowards, tremble and sleep!” Mitsuo Yoshihara’s delivery SELLS it. Honorable mention: “Just the smallest of sparks is sufficient to set dry grass into an inferno - I just need to promise them a new world where they can live in.” 
That and the from the final song, the entire cast: “Can we change the world for ourselves? What can we do to break the chains of violence? What is equality? When will people finally learn from the past? Will revenge ever end? That answer can only be yielded by ourselves!” 
Best musical moment: There are some REALLY good moments in this musical - Margrid calling the wrath of God down on the aristocrats during “Blinded by the Light of a Thousand Candles”, the reprise of “Blinded” when the poor join in with Margrid, the entirety of “I Am The Best”, the key change in the Korean version of “Kill the Snakes”, the part during the March to Versailles when the other women join in for the first time to tell Margrid they aren’t going, Fersen’s low note during his first love song with Antoinette, the bit during “The Only Thing I ever Did Right” when Fersen comes in for the first time and he and Antoinette duet,  the bit during The Jacobin Club when the entire Jacobin Club steps out together and swears to bring down Antoinette, the bit during “Eyes of Hatred” when Margrid and Antoinette’s voices blend PERFECTLY, the bit during the trial when the crowd begins to apply pressure to Antoinette while Margrid realizes how fucked up things have gotten. 
Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: I was trying to not be predictable.....but look. I lose my shit every time we get to “I Am The Best”. Because they really DID give Orléans the single best song in the musical and expected us NOT to stan. That and when he takes his final bow, because he gets a reprise of the song WITH electric guitars because, yes, he’s an extra bitch. 
When it really disappointed you: The 2021 Toho. I could devote an entire post to how that production disappointed me, even outside of my personal ships, but like. It was a disappointment from beginning to end and I’m actually happy that it’s out of Tokyo now. 
Saddest moment: Margrid sobbing after Antoinette’s death and then having to wipe the tears off her face to meet the tribunal. And then the look on her face at the end....
Most well done character death: Marie’s - Literally the entire musical has been leading up to this and the scene itself makes a wonderful use of callbacks and musical cues to give it this sense of TENSION throughout the entire thing, which builds off of that earlier scene where Hébert confronts Margrid. We know that Antoinette is going to die - There’s no way of avoiding it, but we still are wondering what’s going to happen. What’s Margrid going to do? Is she going to risk a life of security for the sake of the woman she’s started to feel sympathy for? Are these two women ever going to come to terms with one another, with the answer being yes as Antoinette by calls Margrid by her name instead of “the girl” and Margrid gives that last, dangerous bow. 
Favourite cast member: I’m not generally big on following individual cast members, but PROBABLY Sonim? 
Character you wish was still alive: I. Might have toyed with a few ways of keeping Marie alive in the past. 
One thing you hope really happens: Really, really hoping the upcoming Korean production is good. Like, that’s the extent of my ambition after the last Toho. 
Most shocking twist: Lamballe’s Death. I have NEVER seen anyone come in prepared for it in over 2 years of streaming. *I* was shocked when I saw it because I literally never expected a Japanese depiction of Marie Antoinette to get into the September Massacres, especially do THAT extent. And it really is the point where, suddenly, you realize that NO ONE is safe. Up until this point, no one’s died. The Royal Family’s imprisoned, but there’s a certain romanticism you can find in the situation, the idea that, hey, now they’re a happy, nuclear family. Then, the show distracts you with that discussion between Marie and Margrid so that they it can SLAM the knife into your back. And, from that point, no one’s safe. Literally anyone in the cast can die, to the point where people do, genuinely fear for Margrid’s safety by the end. It’s probably one of the single best twists I’ve seen in musical theatre, because it sets the stage for the last twenty minutes brilliantly. 
When did you start watching/reading?: You know? It had to have been back in 2013. A subber that I liked had JUST finished Rebecca das Musical and had moved on to Marie Antoinette, and I thought “Well! Kunze and Levay came out with a Mar’ie Antoinette musical? I’ve got to see this, it’s going to be good!” 
Spoiler alert: It was not good. I made it twenty minutes in, got to the brothel scene, and never looked back. Which means that, actually, I only BARELY missed Orléans’ song. 
Favourite location: Antoinette’s bedroom - Those crazy sons of bitches REALLY replicated Antoinette’s ACTUAL BED to use. 
Trope you wish they would stop using: Stop trying to make Fersen/Margrid happen, it’s not going to happen. In general, there’s this idea that Margrid MUST be totally, absolutely loveless, and I don’t really see it. I’ll be the last to say she hasn’t had a hard life, but there’s this need to ISOLATE her that I just don’t really vibe with. I’m not even saying in an inherently romantic sense (in canon...I wouldn’t actually WANT to see, say, her and Orléans making out on-stage), but just in terms of having genuine connections. 
One thing this show/book/film does better than others: It really does a wonderful job as far as developing two separate female characters - Which shouldn’t be THAT HARD, given you have plenty of musicals about multiple guys all the time, and yet SOMEHOW....
Also, Margrid in particular is phenomenal, as a character. It’s definitely not uncommon for people to go in for Marie and end up really, really attached to Margrid and her development. 
Funniest moments: Hébert nearly getting hit with a door, Margrid peaking under her ball gown while it’s on the rack and Orléans dragging her away, the Stars and Stripes Gown....
Couple you would like to see: .....Orléans/Margrid. I know that I say I don’t want them to actually be CANON canon but also I would NOT complain if they did. Especially after the 2021 Toho production, it’s what I deserve. 
Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: Park Hye Na as Korean!Margrid would kill me, I know it. 
Favourite outfit: Besides Orléans’ 2018 coat (4ever in our hearts), special props to Antoinette’s golden gown in the opening. WHAT a character introduction. 
Favourite item: Margrid’s little knapsack she keeps on her. 
Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: I own a ballpoint pen and a program from the 2021 Toho run - One of these days, I keep meaning to buy the German libretto so that I can translate it. 
Most boring plotline: BERTIN AND LEONARD. (But, in all fairness........look, they’re annoying, but also, when they’re gone, you do miss them, because that’s when shit gets fucked.) 
Most laughably bad moment: The entire 2006 Toho Cast exists just to be one very long laughably bad moment. That and, tbh, the German. Special props to the Brothel Scene. 
Most layered character: Margrid. Marie is ALSO a very layered, complex character, but Margrid gets special props because, off the top of my head, I can’t REALLY think of another female protagonist, in a musical, like her. Not saying they don’t EXIST, but I’m saying I haven’t personally seen them. 
Most one dimensional character: ...2006 Orléans. He Who We Don’t Discuss. 
Scariest moment: See above for Lamballe. 
Grossest moment: Hébert's final confrontation scene with Margrid. 
Best looking male: Kim Jun Hyun’s Orléans. *Wow*. 
Best looking female: Jang Eun Ah’s Margrid. Once again. *Wow.* 
Who you’re crushing on (if any): ...both Orléans and Margrid. Predictably. 
Favourite cast moment: Furukawa Yuta pranking Mitsuo Yoshihara by giving him “poisonous” things for his birthday, because “You are Duke d’Orleans and I am Fersen. You are poisonous and I am passive aggressive.”
Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): The ball at Versailles. One of the most STUNNING scenes I’ve ever seen. Whoever did the lighting deserves all the accolades in the world for creating a scene that’s surreal, seductive, and gorgeous 
Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: Not an ERROR, but I’m really, really interested in the story of Jeanette Arnaud, because this woman really haunts Margrid’s entire life but there’s so LITTLE we know about her and Margrid’s feelings about her. How long did her affair with the Emperor last? Did she always know he was the emperor during their affair, or did they meet under different circumstances? Fersen was clearly able to figure out that she was a mistress of his, so how public was the affair? And, if it was that public, does it mean that she was a servant, or was she, at the very least, middle class? How did he find out her mother’s identity? Why didn’t Orléans double-check himself? Does Margrid have any living grandparents or uncles/aunts? How old was Margrid when she died? Did she die before or after Margrid was kicked out by the nuns? (In the German, it’s very clearly the former, but who knows?)
I feel like there’s a really, really dark, tragic tale underneath all this about a young woman who ended up paying the ultimate price for falling in love with someone above her station, but it’s one that’s kept to literally only a few sentences. 
At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: Probably about.....five or ten minutes into the Toho, with the Palais Royal scene. I knew, from the time I saw Furukawa Yuta on stage as Fersen, that they’d changed things around, and then seeing the changes that were made, I was able to go “Oh! It’s good now!” I feel like the moment where I REALLY fell in love was “I Am The Best” because that had been a scene I’d been REALLY concerned about from the German and then Mitsuo Yoshihara casually came in there and owned it. 
6 notes · View notes
takaraphoenix · 4 years
Note
percy jackson for the ask game
Thanks for playing! ^^
Top 5 favourite characters: Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo, Clarisse la Rue, Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Silena Beauregard
Other characters you like: Rachel Elizabeth Dare, Thalia Grace, Leo Valdez, Charles Beckendorf, Tyson
Least favourite characters: Hera, uuuhm I mean Drew I guess and Nancy?? I don’t know, I’ve gone through so many cycles with PJO, I’ve come around on most characters
Otps: again, let’s make that a Top Five? Nico/Percy, Jason/Percy, Octavian/Percy, Triton/Percy, Will/Pery
Notps: Percy/Annabeth, Leo/Calypso, Grover/Percy, Tyson/Percy, book Luke/Percy
Favourite friendships: Canon? Grover & Percy, Clarisse & Percy, Nico & Reyna
Favourite family: I meeean technically they are ALL family since all of the gods are siblings/cousins! ;D Okay, okay. Paul, Sally, Percy and Tyson! A very obvious pick
Favourite episodes: doesn’t have a TV show adaptation yet? xD
Favourite season/book/movie: The Battle of the Labyrinth
Favourite quotes: not really a quote-kinda-gal
Best musical moment: haven’t gotten to see the musical yet!
Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: I mean obviously when black on white it was confirmed that Nico was in love with Percy? Like? You can imagine, yes? :D
When it really disappointed you: …so often *whispers softly, voice breaking* but to sum it up basically from The Mark of Athena through to the end. The above mentioned confession was honestly like the only highlight out of those three books...
Saddest moment: WHEN THEY KILLED OFF BECKENDORF AND THEN KILLED OFF SELINA. I CRIED THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY
Most well done character death: Luke’s death was shit, Ethan’s death was frustrating because it was a cheap cop out of an actual redemption arc I really hate the “chose the wrong side and now immediately dies in a Heroic Sacrifice”-trope (which plays into why Luke’s death was shit), Bianca’s death was ridiculous - the fact that out of ALL of the Huntresses they picked the one who had been a huntress for 0.2 DAYS was just pathetic and literally projectd “this 12 year old child with zero combat training is totally gonna die” all along and it pisses me off so much, while Silena and Beckendorf made me cry they were also frustrating because they were avoidable had people used their brains, Octavian’s death genuinely made me furious because it was played for cheap laughs... I guess Bob and Damansen by default then...?
Favourite guest star: uuuuuuuh I got nothing
Favourite cast member: Leven Rambin as Clarisse la Rue?? Holy shit blessed casting thank you
Character you wish was still alive: ...one? I only get one? *distressed Phoe-noises* Silena? Charles? Ethan? Urgh. How dare you make me pick only one...
One thing you hope really happens: ...I know there are people out there still reading the new books and I wouldn’t wish this for them because they clearly still enjoy it, but good gods do I wish Riordan would just finally stop and give Percy a rest. Like, not even stop writing - he could write new things. but stop dragging Percy Jackson personally into everything, be that visiting the Norse because hey it’s his gf’s cousin, or getting dragged into Apollo’s weird shit, seriously just... move on, please
Most shocking twist: quite truthfully that Ares was the traitorous god in The Lightning Thief and not Hades. I am so used to Hades being painted as The Bad Guy and the Evil Mastermind bullshit that it was genuinely so refreshing that no actually he’s just wronged because he wants his property back too and he’s not actually the bad guy??
When did you start watching/reading?: 2010, I guess, right after I saw the movie for the first time
Best animal/creature: BLACKJACK BLACKJACK BLACKJACK. No wait Mrs. O’Leary is also there! :O Both? Both!
Favourite location: THE UNDERWORLD
Trope you wish they would stop using: Everyone Needs To Be Paired Up! Seriously, obsessive shipping in canon is cringey but if you have a literal ship with seven crewmates and it turns out to be three couples and the seventh is first in a Love Triangle with one of the couples and THEN gets his own girlfriend, that’s... that’s genuinely pathetic, like I would raise a judgemental eyebrow at a fanfiction that ships everyone off this perfectly paired up, but a published actual work that is not the author’s very first publication? That’s embarrassing, man
One thing this show/book/film does better than others: portrayal of Greek gods and myths
Funniest moments: snarky Percy sassing gods :D
Couple you would like to see: This implies a non-canon couple I’d like to see become canon and just honestly, genuinely, none, good gods there is already too much romance as it is, dial it back
Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: honestly, the second movie took the two only fancasts that were dear to me and actually cast them. Anthony Head as Chiron and Nathan Fillion as Hermes. That was such perfect casting and were my only casting wishes, so like... I got nothing
Favourite outfit: Clarisse’s movie outfit?? It’s? So? Good??
Favourite item: I mean, Riptide is really practical?
Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: A very dear friend of mine gave me the movie poster for the second movie and it is hanging on my ceiling :D But other than that, sadly enough this franchise is not exactly heavy on merch - which is ridiculous to me... the opportunities. Please make this into a cartoon and start producing ALL of the figures and toys. All of them. Seriously, the toy opportunity on this franchise is so huge??
What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: uuuuuuh honestly no god really fits me so I don’t know
Most boring plotline: Annabeth’s third book side-quest really bore me
Most laughably bad moment: When they had a prophecy about an “angel’s breath” and Annabeth Chase, daughter of ATHENA, stood right there, not figuring it out - but Piper did. That... That did Annabeth such a freaking disservice, seriously the disrespect from Riordan there. Why did you even make her a daughter of wisdom if you aren’t going to use her to be clever? That actively made me bang my head against the nearest wall because it was such an obvious part of the riddle like seeeriously
Best flashback/flashfoward if any: I loved learning more about Annabeth, Luke and Thalia’s past together
Most layered character: I mean Percy, but that’s also due to getting five books exclusively from his POV
Most one dimensional character: lol like the dozen or so characters who only exist as First Name Only? And yeah, I get it, you can’t flesh them all out more. But Jason Grace had a whole-ass life before he came to CHB and we got name-drops of his closest friends in The Lost Hero, but most of them remained a name only and Jason not only didn’t get to team up with them later on, to try and convince them to join his cause, he also never actively thought about them. I don’t know, but if I’d spend months away from all my friends, I would definitely spend some of my POV thinking about them...
Scariest moment: thiiis was not a scary series
Grossest moment: When Riordan tried to sell domestic violence as cute, aka Annabeth judo-flipping her boyfriend in punishment for getting abducted by a goddess :D”““ what the fuq
Best looking male: if we go by actors, I guess Chris Rodriguez? xD
Best looking female: oooh definitely Clarisse when we go with the movie faces *^*
Who you’re crushing on (if any): mmmh yeah no
Favourite cast moment: I do not know any xD”
Favourite transportation: shadow-travel! It’s so cool
Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): them entering the underworld was pretty damn cool??
Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: NICO’S AGE. CONSISTENCY. Stop posting things that contradict each other like just stop tweeting canons out if you don’t have a fixed list of what is canon. ALSO SALLY’S MOTHER IS NAMED LAURA, SHE WAS NAMED LAURA FOR YEARS BEFORE YOU FORGOT THAT YOU NAMED THAT CHARACTER LAURA AND NOW SALLY NAMED HER CANON DAUGHTER FUCKING ESTELLE AFTER HER MOTHER’S NEW NAME. Good gods. How do professional authors not have lists to crosscheck about vital information of their own characters, like their birthdates and their parents’ names.
Best promo: I don’t watch promos
At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: Honestly before I watched the movie already, when I read on wikipedia that a son of Hades was not just A Good Guy in this bookseries but also a main character :D
IN DEPTH FANDOM QUESTIONS
22 notes · View notes
dusk-realm · 5 years
Text
Chrysanthemum [Part 8: Arrive with a bang]
Tagging: @featurelengthfics @thedungeonsbat @severussnapesupporter @southsiderepresent
The previous chapters: Masterlist
The landscape moved fast at the other side of the window. It was a large scenery, of soft hills, where the grass grew wild and of a wilted yellowish green under the intense late summer sun.
The rays of the sun illuminated the whole compartment and warmed up (Y/N)’s body. She was already wearing her school uniform, and its dark colour helped the matter. The silver embroidery of the Slytherin’s emblem shined slightly on her chest, which she observed.
She had been thrilled with the idea of coming back, the shopping, seeing the teachers (her saviors), prove herself worthy of being in Slytherin, finally learn new things and do magic. But she couldn’t quite shake off this feeling of uneasiness.
As excited as she was, (Y/N) was also scared of seeing the faces of her classmates, with whom she would be sticking from now on until the end of her career in Hogwarts.
(Y/N) let out a shaky breath and looked at Severus. He was sitting in front of her, with his left leg crossed over the right one and he read a book putting it way too close to his face, as always. He had agreed to accompany her on the Hogwarts Express trip if she helped him organise the classroom and tidy up before the lessons began.
Upon hearing her soft sight, Severus raised his sight above the edge of the book. She was curled up, hugging her own knees and laying against the wall as she stared out of the window.
‘Is there something wrong?’ He asked softly, as if he didn’t want to disturb her. She offered him a little smile before replying:
‘Yeah… It’s just that I’ve felt so… comfortable this summer… I used to think that Hogwarts was the only place I could feel safe at, but I don’t exactly feel the same anymore.’
‘I thought you lived in an orphanage before? What about that place?’
(Y/N)’s smile saddened slightly at that subject, but she answered anyway:
‘I omitted that part of the story, but, when I was 9, I overheard the governess saying that I should go to a foster home. There weren’t many children that turned out good after jumping from one house of those to another, so I got scared and ran away,’ she made a brief pause, letting her words sink in. Severus’ eyes glittered again in that strange manner, but he didn’t say anything, and his expression was half hidden behind the book he held, ‘by that time, I was already aware that I wasn’t a normal girl, so the idea of being assigned to a random family was even more terrifying. That’s why Hogwarts was so important to me. It was like my… shelter.’
Severus set the book aside and opened his mouth to say something, at least until the door of the compartment flung open.
‘(Y/N)!’ The boy exclaimed, and a very oblivious Neville Longbottom stormed into the compartment and hugged his favourite potions partner.
‘Hey, Nevs!’ She greeted, squeezing the chubby lad between her arms.
The professor grunted audibly for being interrupted in the middle of such a delicate conversation. Neville froze at the sound and slowly turned his head towards the source of it. Seeing a very irritated Snape, the young Gryffindor turned pale and sat down at once.
‘I, uh… h-helloprofessorIdidn’tseeyouthere.’ Neville stammered.
(Y/N) tried her best not to burst into laughter seeing how baffled Severus looked, and how Neville was close to shitting himself.
‘So, (Y/N), how was your summer?’ The boy tried his hardest to not keep staring at the scariest professor in Hogwarts. If looks could kill… Well, if that was possible, Snape probably would be able to kill someone with a single glare.
‘It was nice, how was yours?’
‘Eeh... good, as always I suppose.’ The boy answered, not really wanting to mention he spent it with his grandma in front of Snape, although he seemed uninterested on picking on him, he was reading a book.
‘Hey, do you know what? I’ll be joining you in the second course!’ The girl sang cheerfully, bouncing on her seat.
‘Really? I thought you had failed again!’ The professor sneered at the rosy-cheeked boy, who turned more and more red in embarrassment.
‘Yeah, the problem was my wand, it wasn’t obeying me. But I got a new one, and Dumbledore said that I could move on to the next course, so we’ll be together again!’
‘Cool! Listen, do you want to come look for Harry and Ron? I haven’t seen them yet.’
‘Uh…’ (Y/N) glanced at Severus, seeking permission. Since he didn’t bother looking at her, she just assumed that he didn’t mind her absence, so she got up, ‘sure, why not?’ and left.
They walked side by side, peeking at the compartments occupied by the Gryffindors. After searching three whole wagons, Neville spoke timidly:
‘How did you end up in the same compartment as Snape?’
‘Eh… it was just a coincidence.’
‘You could have come with us instead of staying there with him, I was with Seamus and Dean,’ said Neville, ‘do you want to come? There’s enough space.’
‘Eh… not really, you know I don’t have friends in Gryffindor besides you. Plus, Snape isn’t that bad, you know?’
‘Not that bad?’ he echoed, ‘he’s mean, and he only likes his own House.’
‘What?!’ (Y/N)’s pitch raised indignantly, ‘ first of all if you just listened to what he means instead of how he says things you’d realise that he’s not that bad. And you can’t talk to me about favouritism when Gryffindor stole the cup from us last year!’
(Y/N) tried her best to hold back her wrath, but the redness of the tip of her ears was something she could not conceal.
‘But you’ve seen him picking on me, and he always takes crazy amounts of points from us, you just say that because you are in Slytherin!’ The other protested, getting heated up too.
‘Like what, when he deducted one, ONE point from Gryffindor for Potter’s impertinence?’
Neville didn’t reply. He seemed somehow distraught, embarrassed and obfuscated all at the same time.
Severus was the most peaceful man to have around. (Y/N) knew that because she had just spent a whole summer enjoying the tranquility of his home. Fine, he was difficult to decipher and sarcastic and sometimes a bit cold, but that was just a matter of understanding him. It wasn’t that hard to get. On the other hand, though, Neville was her best and only friend in school, she didn’t want to argue with him.
The two friends parted ways without saying goodbye, her going back to her shared compartment with Snape, and him back to the safe company of his Gryffindor fellows.
‘Found ’em?’ asked Severus in a bored tone without looking away from his book.
‘No, not really…’
‘Pity.’ He sarcastically remarked, which made (Y/N) smile softly before plopping herself by his side. Severus remained unbothered.
‘Can I read too?’
And Severus opened the book a bit more and moved it a tad more to the centre, comfortably sharing his space with her.
‘Can I just… skip the ceremony and go straight to the classroom? I’m quite sure there’s plenty of jars to deal with after the summer.’
‘If you think that my protection includes acting at free will, you are mistaken, missy.’ He warned. ‘You must attend the ceremony and the banquet along with the rest of the students.’
‘Alright… Alright. You know I'm not taking anything for granted, don't you? I'm aware that special arrangements were made for me, but I know that I still have to follow the rules, and that I must study as hard as the others.’
‘How sensible.’ The professor commented, pinching her cheek softly.
‘And of course, that includes you too,’ Severus raised an expectant eyebrow, ‘because I'll call you Professor no matter what.’
‘I thought you’d-’
‘Yeah, but school is school and I'm… I'm still a part of your job whether I like it or not and-’ Severus interrupted such a heartfelt speech through a distasteful pull at her cheek.
‘Don't interrupt me. You should call me Professor or Sir only in public. Privately, you can call me Severus, as always. Just don't tell anyone you spent the holidays with me. Did you tell Longbottom?’
‘No, I didn't. I figured out that it would be problematic if it started spreading. I wouldn't want the whole school to think that I'm the teacher's pet.’
‘I see you have things clear,’ he said softly, soothing her cheek with his thumb and resumed his reading after saying:
‘That's a good thing.’
The sorting ceremony seemed to not have an end, and the ceremony was overall unbearable. Professor Dumbledore announced that the new Defense Against The Dark Arts this year was Gilderoy Lockhart, the celebrated writer that was welcomed with an ovation of feminine voices.
Regardless, (Y/N)’s wasn't among those voices. She was sitting next to Pansy Parkinson and her gang of girls, and they were currently having some sort of cold war bragging about how wonderful their summer vacations were in front of the other purebloods, although she was extra loud whenever that Malfoy kid looked in their direction.
That pug-faced girl’s voice was so shrilling (Y/N) thought her ears would implode.
Snape had left dinner early, but of course, (Y/N) didn't have a chance to ask him the reason for so much hurry in the crowded hall.
Not long after, he returned wearing a devilish grin, but only to fetch Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore, who followed behind the other two with a grave expression. To (Y/N)’s surprise, the potions master tapped discreetly at her shoulder  and motioned her to follow, which she did after a few minutes of pretending to eat her dinner., just so it didn’t look as if she had managed to mess up as soon as she set foot on Hogwarts grounds.
Obviously, the first place she searched for her professor was the classroom, then his office. Dumbledore was standing in front of the door, deep in thought.
‘Professor?’ (Y/N) asked softly, causing the other to turn around. His robes billowed around him gracefully.
‘Ah, (Y/N), how are you?’ He asked politely.
‘Eh, good… is everything alright? I thought Professor Snape wanted me to-’
“Why didn’t you send us a letter by owl? I believe you have an owl?” McGonagall’s cold voice was audible through the door, and she sounded really, really angry. (Y/N) covered her mouth with her fingers.
‘Professor, I don’t think I should-’
‘Yes, (Y/N); I bet you know Mr. Potter?’
‘Uh… well, not personally but I know who he is.’
“I — I didn’t think —”
“That,” said Professor McGonagall, “is obvious.”
‘Excuse me for a second,’ Dumbledore said before knocking at the door. (Y/N) caught a glimpse of a radiant looking Severus and two heads sitting, one with black hair and a ginger one.
Were those Weasley and Potter? What had they gotten themselves into?
The Slytherin couldn’t hear anything clearly, just the muffled voices of the boys and then Dumbledore’s again, but she couldn’t really make out the conversation until Severus spoke.
“Professor Dumbledore, these boys have flouted the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry, caused serious damage to an old and valuable tree — surely acts of this nature —”
(Y/N) gasped. How could these two mess up so much before starting the term?! Are they dumb? This goes much further than breaking the rules of the school, it was the law. They were dealing with the Ministry of Magic.
The director and Severus finally came out of the office, leaving McGonagall behind.
‘Did you have time to have supper?’ Asked the latter in a caring, contempted tone.
‘Yes, I’m alright. Is there anything you need from me, Professor?’ She asked politely, just as she had promised in the train. She could swear that she saw a flash of a prideful smile on his lips.
‘I need you to stay in my office and watch over Potter and Weasley. You can read or tidy up in the meantime, just don’t break anything and don’t touch anything inside the jars.’
‘Understood. Anything else?’
‘No, I’ll come back later, don’t move from here.’ Said he softly, giving a light squeeze to her shoulders. Professor McGonagall finally left the office.
‘(Y/N), it’s been a while. Did you receive my owl, dear?’ she asked, also putting a hand on her back. (Y/N) felt warm having them around. ‘It came back without a note.’ The woman clarified.
‘Ah, y-yes, I received it, I must have tied the note too loosely.’
All lies. The truth was that (Y/N) had been scared of irritating Severus again, and by the time she had come around writing a note expressing her gratitude, Severus had already sent off the owl, and none of them brought up the subject again.
‘But I really liked your gift, Professor. I was very happy to get mail.’ She confessed gleefully. Her smile was so genuine that even her eyes lit up in the darkness of the dungeons.
‘I’m glad to hear so. Now we must return to the feast’ McGonagall declared, and the three professors disappeared upstairs with a rather content Dumbledore rambling about custard tart.
“Can you believe our luck, though?” said Ron thickly through a mouthful of chicken and ham. “Fred and George must’ve flown that car five or six times and no Muggle ever saw them.” He swallowed and took another huge bite. “Why couldn’t we get through the barrier?”
The door creaked open without a warning knock. Ron and Harry froze and nearly choked on their sandwiches, expecting Snape’s huge nose to peek through the crack of the door to give them another scolding. For their relief, it was just (Y/L/N), that Slytherin girl Neville wouldn’t stop daydreaming about after every Potions class.
‘Uh… sorry. Professor Snape sent me here.’ She said in a voice almost as soft as the one who sent her.
‘What did you do?’ The ginger asked through a stuffed mouth.
‘Uhm… nothing, he sent me to watch over you two and tidy up in the meantime.’
‘Great-  (Y/N), right?’ Continued the ginger. The girl simply nodded and let him go on. ‘We’re Neville’s friends, he’s all the time talking about you.’
Harry kicked Ron’s shin under the table for being a loudmouth.
‘I’m Ron, Ron Weasley, and this is Harry. THE Harry Potter.’ Ron offered a filthy hand to (Y/N), which she didn’t shake.
‘Nice to meet you,’ she answered rather coldly,refusing to acknowledge the living legend. ‘I know your brothers.’
‘Fred and George?’ Ronald earned a disapproving look from Harry for the way he had introduced him, but he was too absorbed to realise. ‘I also have a little sister, McGonagall says she was just sorted into Gryffindor.’
‘How lucky,’ replied she with not too subtle irony. Harry couldn’t really get why she spoke like Snape, was it a Slytherin thing? ‘anyway, I better get to work, you guys just try not to spill anything on the desk, or we three are dead.’
Ron, bewildered, watched her move around the stocks, he tried to wrap his mind around Snape, old bitter Snape letting a student mess with his collection of slimy stuff. Those jars were not something he’d be able to touch himself.
Harry shrugged. “We’ll have to watch our step from now on, though,” he said, taking a grateful swig of pumpkin juice. “Wish we could’ve gone up to the feast. . . .”
“She didn’t want us showing off,” said Ron sagely. “Doesn’t want people to think it’s clever, arriving by flying car.”
When they had eaten as many sandwiches as they could (the plate kept refilling itself), they rose and left the office, treading the familiar path to Gryffindor Tower.
(Y/N) was left in the empty office with quite a few jars of… things in bad state and an empty tray on Severus’ desk. She thought of taking it to the Great Hall and leave it there for the house elves to get rid of it, but Snape told her not to move until he came…
However, her protector arrived in the office only a few minutes later with a heavy sigh.
‘Ah, Severus. I think these,’ she motioned towards the jars on the desk, ‘are expired, you should check them just in case and-’
(Y/N) couldn’t reach the end of her sentence; Severus shoved her against his chest in a tight hug and rested his nose on her hair. The young Slytherin didn’t know what was going on, but she hugged him back, wrapping her arms around his waist. Severus was so thin…
‘What’s wrong?’ She asked after a while. (Y/N) didn’t pull away, Severus was never this affectionate, so she thought something must have happened.
‘I’m aging fast. These kids…’ He murmured against her hair. Did his voice come out raspy?
‘Oh, don’t worry, they’re McGonagall’s responsibility,’ she murmured in a gentle tone. ‘Just think that no Slytherin was involved into this, I think we’re a tad more disciplined.’
Severus chuckled lightly, if she knew… But this wasn’t the moment to tell her. He searched the room, hoping to find a distraction. His black eyes landed on the multiple objects laid out on his desk.
‘Tell me, do you know any vanishing spells?’ He asked, pulling away only enough to look at her.
‘Uhm… no? I think those are way more advanced.’
‘Come, I’ll show you.’
79 notes · View notes
Note
What are you addicted to?
Started with music, then turned to me aggressively smoking pot, tripping way more than I should have, then prescription medications I messed with for a while, getting vicodin for a wrist surgery at 14. When I graduated coke was a big thing in my town, so many people were doing it but most of it is really shitty and just gave me an even stronger urge to do other things. At this point my twin sister had already overdosed on heroin the night of our prom, my dad and I had revived her, but she still struggled with her boyfriend who had been an addict for years at that point. I was so hateful towards hard drugs after that, but I ended up going through a really hard time in my life, dealing with a break up, working two jobs and losing my childhood home all in a short time, I moved in with a guy I had been friends with since I was 14 and he was about 2 years deep into his addiction already. I was almost 19 the first time I tried heroin, and I remember instantly knowing it was a feeling I didnt want to live without. I told myself I could actually moderate it, and I did for awhile. I quit my second job and stayed at the same one for around 3 years actually, functioning on drugs for the better part of a year, keeping it my secret from all but maybe 3 people and the people I met through drugs. That was so dangerous, living life like that in secret. Not to mention everything in MA was quickly turning to fentanyl, which is more addictive than morphine, and way more likely to make you overdose, plus narcan/naloxone doesnt always help- my sister needed like 3 when she OD’d, and I’ve heard of people needing more. H quickly changed me, made me bitter towards anything that wasn’t it, even though it was a constant battle with H itself. I told myself I wasn’t hurting others because they didnt even see me doing the things I did, because “I only stole from stores, not the people I loved”, because addiction will tell you anything to keep you in that animalistic “survival” state as my boyfriend and I call it. But basically about a year into doing harder drugs, one night I made the awful mistake of mixing what my friend told me was “liquid xanax” (basically just research chemicals), H, and alcohol, I went from being out and about with my friend, to waking up starfished on my parents front lawn, my head cracked open from me falling into the front cement stairs, me getting up to greet my parents because I couldn’t even feel my head, let alone realize how messed up I was. My mom literally laid in bed next to me and held me the whole night, and I had no idea until she told me the next morning. A day or so later, I remember I had to work all day and I was going through withdrawals towards the end of the day and of course was freaking out trying to figure out how to pickup. I figure out a plan and my boyfriend at the time who was also my manager at work was gonna bring me home from work that day and I was gonna pull my usual “oh I don’t feel good” or whatever so he’d drop me off and not know what I was up to, but I was stupid when I was stuck in that mindset and I can’t believe I thought I could hide it from him or my parents. I got home to an intervention with him and my parents, and an hour later was on my way to a detox in Boston. Freaking out because I was sick, I chugged the rest of the liquid nightmare stuff, and stumbled my way through my first night of detox, which wasn’t much considering I got there late at night. I remember waking up in so much pain the first day though, and everyone there looking at me like “you don’t look as happy as you did!” and me just thinking “I met you??” and realizing I was all alone in a well-known detox on Mass Ave (one of the worst places for drugs in Boston). It was the scariest and hardest week of my life. I did a methodone detox because I was way too sick and weak to try anything else, and I remember I actually came out of detox sicker than I went in because of it, which only pushed me further into my addict mindset, telling me “suboxone! get on the clinic!”- another wrong choice for me. Medical Assisted Treatment can help so so many people, don’t get me wrong. Like with everything, it depends on the person. Suboxone is a synthetic opiate, basically acting to get rid of physical withdrawal symptoms, and works as a blocker in your brain and makes it so you cannot get high on opiates. I ended up being on the clinic for 6 months which started out great, but soon turned into just another addiction. The clinic prescribed me a way higher dose than I needed, which made it super easy for me to sell or trade the subs for other drugs or cash. Not to mention it was just another thing I had to wake up and take every day, and you get sick if you don’t. Another prescription to fill and pickup weekly, biweekly, monthly. I ended up relapsing and after a few months of not talking, the friend since 14 that I had used with for my first time, and who I tried to help get clean so many times, was finally clean. And it hit me like a ton of bricks- he sounds so amazing, he looks so fucking good, and he sounds like HIMSELF again- the kid I fell in love with SIX years ago, before all the insane shit we went and put ourselves through. It took detoxing in jail for a month and getting put on probation, but the fact that he was THANKFUL for that and looking at this as an opportunity to build a new and even better him, was so inspiring to me. I went from basically the streets and living at dealers houses, to moving back in with him to focus on recovery, and I can’t even begin to explain how rewarding it has been. Recovery will always be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with, but I also have to be honest and say I do not regret doing any of it. Anything and everything can be a learning experience, its just how you look at it and what you do with it. My addiction is once again music and art- I’ve made goals to learn something new everyday, to find new music, to learn lyrics, to get better with my memory. I’m planning my future and it looks so exciting, even though I’ve officially had to start over with NOTHING. My clothes all got stolen and lost, I had sold every bong, pipe, art piece, everything I cared about. I even lost my wallet and social security at one point, and I can’t begin to tell you how awful that felt. But I kept going, and things aren’t rapidly getting better, but I realize you get what you put into things, you have to make the daily decision to want to be better, it doesn’t just happen. And for anyone curious, I did detox from suboxone and my boyfriend and I are full supporters and advocators of VIVITROL/NALTREXONE. There are pills you can take daily, but I highly recommend getting the monthly shot in your ass, because this stuff has the amazing benefit of blocking opiates and making it so you can’t get high, but is completely not addictive or dependable, no physical symptoms occur.Thankyou so much to anyone who takes the time to read this, I’ve been wanting to post something like this for awhile but quite honestly I’ve been trying really hard to focus on myself in order to be able to at all be useful to others lol proud of everyone who woke up today though, and a huge rest in peace to those who might not, and to those I know who haven’t made it. My inbox is always open- I haven’t had my own phone for the better half of a year so I may not answer right away, but I will always try.
575 notes · View notes
weasleysicon · 6 years
Text
Second  [Dad!Calum] PT 4
REQUEST: Omg please continue the Calum Dad series it’s the best! & Can PT 4 includes YN going to labor and Calum is panicking and the big child scared maybe he joins or stays home but DEFINITELY include Calum’s reaction to the baby and then the big sisters and taking the baby home too my god !!!!!!
a/n: omg ask and you shall receive ,,, also this is the second to last part (maybe idkkk)
   WARNINGS: light cussing
ROLLING OVER to her side, Y/N felt a sharp pain in her lower abdomen. Groaning, she tried pushing Calum awake to let him know. “Wake up, shit, shit, shit, wake the fuck up,” she started, still pushing at his shoulder. The one thing about Calum that Y/N couldn’t stand: he was a heavy sleeper.
Calum stirred in his sleep and peeked one eye open, “baby, what’s going on?”
You’ve already been through this once, why the hell are you asking? Y/N looked at Calum, and then her gaze fell to her very pregnant stomach. When she ripped the blankets off of herself, Calum’s eyes widened when he noticed she was sitting in a pool of light red liquid.
How is she so calm about this? Calum thought to himself. “Doll, you’re about two weeks early. Are we sure this isn’t, like, pre-labor or something?” Calum questioned. The first time around, Calum panicked too quickly and ended up having to wait in the waiting room for hours on end because of bringing Y/N at the very beginning of her labor. This time, Calum wanted to be sure.
“Last time I didn’t wake up in a pool of liquid, my waters broke, Ihaia is ready to get this show on the road,” she looked at him. Calum simply nodded and stood up, walking into the closet to grab a pair of flip-flops for his wife.
“Oh, God. We haven’t even packed our hospital bag yet. Fuck, Kaia was going to stay at Luke’s house on the due date so we wouldn’t have to worry. Fuck, babe, what are we going to do-” Calum paused, looking over at Y/N, who was just staring at him with the most blank stare he’s ever seen her give. Calum huffed, “why are you so calm about this? What are we going to do? Shit, I need to call Luke and get him over here.”
Y/N looked at Calum, not believing what he was saying. “Cal, we don’t have time for that. Grab Kaia and have the boys meet us over at the hospital,” she instructed, attempting to stand. Calum rushed to her side, only to be brushed off so he could tend to waking their three year old daughter up.
♠♠♠♠
Calum’s car pulled up as close to the door as he could, screeching to a halt. Putting the car in park, Calum does out of the door and ran inside to seek help. “My wife is in labor, she’s going to have a baby, help, someone help,” he frantically rambled as he ran up to the counter.
A nurse looked up at a disheveled Calum and stood up. She breathed, “sir, grab the wheelchair that’s right in the doorway so you can bring your wife in. What’s your name?”
“Hood, her name is Y/N Hood,” Calum quickly replied, running towards the door to get the wheelchair. Grabbing the wheelchair, Calum made his was back to the car and pulled open the passenger door where his wife was seated. She was groaning and trying to stabilize her breathing, which was freaking out not only Calum, but poor Kaia who was sitting in the backseat. “Y/N, doll, lets go. Kaia, baby girl, unbuckle and and come here. Stay right next to Daddy, okay?” Calum instructed as he hooked his arm under Y/N’s legs and wrapped his other arm around her back. He lifted his wife out of the car and into the wheelchair and started making his way to the door, checking behind him to make sure his little girl was still by his side.
“Daddy,” Kaia whined. Calum knew his baby was tired, bus as of right now, he has other things to worry about.
“Baby, Uncle Lu is on his way and you’re gonna stay the night with him. Would you like that, petal-” Calum paused in the middle of his sentence when he was racing Y/N inside where the doctors were already waiting for them. The doctors took Y/N to the room just in time for Luke to walk in the door.
“Hey, man,” Luke breathed as he neared where Calum and Kaia were standing. When Calum turned around, his smile grew even wider. Kaia ran into the arms of her Uncle and giggled when he lifted her so carelessly off the ground.
“Will you make sure Kaia gets some more sleep? I’m sure she’s not enjoying being awake at a quarter to three,” Calum asked.
Luke shook his head, “yeah, call or text with any other updates. Say bye to Daddy, K, you’re gonna have a sleepover with me and Petunia.” Kaia waved at her father before Luke turned on his heel to take her back to his apartment.
Calum was relieved that his daughter was taken care of so he could channel all of his energy to his wife and their son that about to enter the world. “Sir, your wife is asking for you,” a nurse came out, signalling for Calum to come into the delivery room where his wife was located.
“Alright, you’re going to start pushing now, okay?” the doctor questioned Y/N. She shook her head, as her grip on Calum’s hand tightened. Calum winced, but chose not to complain about the pain, as he could not begin to imagine the amount of pain his wife was in. The doctor positioned her hands and called out, “okay, Y/N, let me have one powerful, good push.” Y/N let out a loud groan as she pushed as hard as she could. Calum didn’t want to admit it, but childbirth always made him feel a little lightheaded. “Another on, Y/N, you can do it,” the doctor cheered her on. Y/N whimpered a little but tried to push again with as much force as she could. The doctor smiled, “here’s the head! One more push Y/N, you can do it.” Calum squeezed Y/N’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, silently reassuring her. Y/N took a deep inhale before beginning her final and hardest push, ready for it to end. “That’s it, that’s it, that’s it, here he is,” the doctor yelled, turning her attention to the proud parents, “Dad, would you like to cut the umbilical cord?”
Calum’s eyes widened. He didn’t cut the umbilical cord when Kaia was born, opting out because he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. Y/N looked up at him, awaiting his answer. Calum took a deep breath, praying he could get through it. “Yeah, sure, I’ll try,” Calum sheepishly replied, walking over to where the doctor was sat. However, when he reached the doctor, he was met with the scariest sight, losing all the breath in his lungs. “I-i that’s a lot of bl-blood,” Calum stammered out, looking at his wife with panicked eyes. The doctor passed the scissors to him, prompting him to cut the umbilical cord. Calum blinked a couple times, “I’m not su-sure I can,” was all Calum could get out before his ridiculously tall body fell to the ground.
a/n: omg calum fainted which i find really cute but like,,, im super soft. also sorry about the longish wait, i’ve been trying to figure out how to write this chapter because i don’t know much about what happens during childbirth,,., anywho hmu for part 5 if you want it :-)
88 notes · View notes
Text
letter #3
Four years later.
I don’t recall creating this blog, nor do I remember ever writing those first two posts. The only thing I recall is these are definitely ideas of mine - but a lot has changed since than. I have been wanting to write a blogpost about this crazy whirlwind I feel myself dragged into these days, but instead of logging into my older tumblr account, I logged into this, and found this pirate treasure of an extra blog which I don’t quite recall ever creating. 
But anyway. This looks just as good as any other platform I use as a ventilation system for my existence, so since I found it, I might as well start using it. I actually have a better feeling about writing here, in a newer, cleaner space, than I do writing at my old blog that contains so many feelings already. 
Anyway - to catch you up on my life (whoever you are, reading this), in the past four years I left one job, then another, I became a graphic designer, than an illustrator, had tons of work (and a little fun), moved apartments, got new friends, got four years older (and none the wiser), spent countless hours on Netflix (but read about a hundred novels), a good amount of time feeling like a piece of shit - but a significantly bigger amount of time feeling grateful, and accomplished and happy.
Though I obviously don’t remember much about the time at which this blog was born, I do remember, that those were not the happiest and most warmest day of my life. 
It feels nice to remember, because I feel like it puts everything into perspective. A kind of perspective, that I have been lacking for some time now.
The main reason I wanted to write is because I have been feeling overwhelmed by the things (the MANY things) that are happening all at the same time now.
I left my last job three weeks ago, joined a new place one week ago. I have definite contract of six months. And my mother has started to develop weird and scary symptoms a couple weeks ago that look like they are going to turn out to be a serious, incurable disease. I am thirty years old. No kids, just a cat, no car, no driving license, no wealth whatsoever, not much on my savings account and zero houses in my possession. I have a partner, possibly for life, a plan, a good feeling about how I finally DID make it, than life happened just to balance it out I guess: an unsolvable problem that I NEED to solve.
I do not have a single thought on how we are going to pull this off. Not one. I have been wrapping my mind around this so many times that the demons living inside me probably have motion sickness already. The first stop was accepting it’s a we, not a me. I have my brother and I have my boyfriend, both of them with their own, very unique problem solving skillsets. None of them are control freaks, like me. None of them feel the need to figure what our life is gonna look like in the next five years or so, and figure it out, like NOW. I need answers. Answers, from the doctors, to tell me whether I need to prepare for the apocalypse or not, answers, from my brother, whether he really does get the part that “we are going to have to pay for all this”, answers, from myself, that I am well enough, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to embark on this journey. 
I refuse to call it a bumpy ride. It’s going to be the hardest thing I had to deal with so far, but I am so much more well equipped than I have ever been for any of the other shitty stuff; that even though I know it’s gonna be though, it’s gonna teach me things about myself, and it’s gonna shape me in ways that are not necessarily bad. If something is hard, it doesn’t mean it’s bad. A crisis is a part of life. Change is a part of life. 
The scariest thing is accepting, that a process, entirely out of my control is going to dictate how I spend my time, my energy, my life. That something unpredictable is going to happen, and the only thing that I can do is to prepare myself to be flexible enough to make the best possible decision at every new turn.
The funny thing is, that everything that has passed through my mind this past month about this, is things that I have been thinking about a lot in the past couple of years: the insatiable need to move out of the city, back to my roots of small town living even if it means travelling to work, the idea that I might don’t ever want to give birth to a child, that I would rather just adopt one, because I’m realising, that even though I am perfectly fit to raise a child, I have been through hell and back so many times with depression, that I am scared to death by the idea of putting myself through, and willingly, a process that could end me up in a state that requires many years coming back from. But suddenly, an outside force bursting into my life, telling me that “you need to move to another city to be close to your mother”, “you’re not gonna have the possibility to get pregnant and have a baby of your own because you’re gonna be busy taking care of your mother, plus your gonna have to spend all the money you earn on supporting your mom” is just too much.
I don’t want to get married because I’m afraid that if we do it later, my mom might not be able to be there. I don’t want to not have a baby of my own because I might not have the time, the energy, the money for it. I don’t want to move back because I have to. But I guess nobody does. It took me a while, to understand that maybe I am not a bad person for thinking like this. That this is not selfishness; this is just being human.
I just have to do something that I am very bad at doing: improvising. Loosening up. Being flexible. Making a shitload of lemonade out of those lemons.
1 note · View note
camsthisky · 7 years
Text
Bad Nights
Summary: When a rough night gets to be too much, and he doesn't want to go home, Dick decides to crash at the nearest safe house in order to treat his injuries and get his head on straight. Of course it's just his luck that there's already a little brother there. And it looks like his bad night is about to get worse. Day 4 of batfam week
ao3 | ff.net
Dick was pissed.
And not in the someone made me angry and I’m gonna go pound a punching bag until it’s dust kind of pissed. More like if I don’t scream my lungs out I will explode kind of pissed. It almost felt like frustration tinged with bright spots of righteous anger. The sort of feelings he liked to keep bottled up until he could take them out on criminals. He hated feeling like this.
But the scariest part was what was hiding underneath the anger.
He let out a strangled yell, punching—and denting—a light pole as he staggered out of the alley. The metal bent upon impact with his gloved fist, and Dick didn’t even feel the least bit sorry. Served the stupid light pole right.
Dick’s breathing was ragged, like he’d just run a mile in a minute. He hadn’t, but he had just watched a kid practically kill herself, Dick not fast enough to save her, even if she hadn’t wanted to be saved.
He didn’t know the girl’s backstory. He knew nothing about her before she’d fallen to her death, other than that she’d looked scared. Whatever kind of shit the universe was trying pull on him, Dick didn’t want any part of it.
So, he stared at a dented light pole and tried not to think of the girl’s dead body, looking too much like theirs did all those years ago, but it wasn’t that easy. It never was.
It took him a few moments to realize, but his hand was throbbing fiercely. Must have broken it, or something. And it was his good hand, too. He was going to have to explain that to Alfred when he showed up at the Cave, and with the state his head was in, nothing good was going to come of that conversation.
Bruce and Damian would probably be there, too. It was late enough that they’d probably be getting back from patrol within a few hours, and Dick really didn’t want to deal with the pity Bruce would be exuding in waves. God, what could he even say to Damian. A thirteen-year-old kid didn’t deserve to deal with Dick’s issues.
After staring at the light pole a moment or two longer and realizing that he really couldn’t face anybody at the Manor tonight—and besides, he didn’t really trust himself on a motorcycle at the moment—Dick turned towards the nearest safe house (it was actually more of an apartment. Bruce had them all over the city for them). A broken hand wasn’t urgent enough that he had to have it treated right at this very second. It could wait a couple hours until he got his head on straight.
He switched his grapple gun to his left hand and fired, letting it pull him up the rooftop. He traveled a few blocks like that, barely even registering where he was going, getting lost in the pull and swing of his actions.
He landed on the ledge jutting out from the window of the safe house and took a deep breath. This anger wasn’t going to help anything. Right now he needed to get some ice for his hand, grab a couple hours of sleep, and make it back to the manor before breakfast.
Dick slid open the window and crawled through.
Funnily enough, he wasn’t alone.
“Dick?” Tim asked from the couch, eyes wide with surprise and something else. Dick didn’t know, and tonight wasn’t the best time to figure it out. Tim looked about ready to rush to his side.
Dick sighed but the deep breath he’d taken before had done wonders for his anger and frustration, not to mention the sight of his little brother lounging on the couch. He always had an easier time controlling his temper when one of his family members was near.
“Hey, Timmy.” His voice was a bit hoarse, maybe because of the pent-up emotions from before, but Tim didn’t comment on it. It was disturbingly easy to push the negative emotions to the side and bring out a smile as he peeled off his domino mask. “What brings you to this part of the neighborhood?”
Tim rolled his eyes—already dressed in sweats and a T-shirt. Probably staying the night, then—and relaxed back into the couch. “I’m waiting for Jason to finish up patrol so we can go over the plan for tomorrow night.”
Dick raised his eyebrows as he walked to the wall-less kitchen. Ice, first. “So soon?”
“Yeah,” Tim sighed. “We found out Marconi is picking up another shipment of drugs tomorrow night and the best time to catch him is during the act.”
Tim and Jason were working a case, Dick remembered. Some guy, Marconi, was going crazy with bringing in shipments of new drugs and dealing them out to anybody who’d take it for crazy cheap prices. Drug use had almost doubled in the past month, and Tim and Jason (who didn’t want the dealers to start targeting any kids) had agreed to work together to bust the guy.
They worked pretty well together, all things considered.
“Just be careful,” Dick said as he opened the freezer and grabbed the first ice wrap he could find.
His hand was throbbing now, and it wasn’t pleasant. He pulled his glove off with his teeth and used his left hand to carefully wind the wrap around his hand. Dick grimaced. His knuckles and fingers were a mix of purple and black. He had used a lot more force than he’d thought was possible. Maybe he’d give Leslie a call before he went to sleep just to see what she thought.
“I will,” Tim said, but sounded distracted and distant, like he wasn’t quite focused on the conversation anymore. Once Dick had the wrap settled on just right, he turned back to the living room, catching Tim’s eyes. “What happened?”
Dick looked down at his hand. “I, uh, got in a fight with a light pole.”
“Is it broken?”
“I think so,” Dick told him as he settled down next to him. “But I don’t think anything needs to be reset, so I decided to stay here for the night. Is it alright if I crash your guy’s party?”
Tim shrugged, gesturing for Dick’s hand. Dick held it out and Tim held it gingerly, checking that the wrap was on correctly. “Jason probably won’t be happy but when is he ever?”
Dick laughed, but it sounded sort of hollow and strangled, and that self-loathing, that frustration, along with the images of that girl dead on the street, almost came rushing up to swallow him again. He barely managed to push it down, but something must have shown on his face, because Tim was staring at him.
Dick’s smile fell. “What?”
“Why’d you punch a light pole?”
“Would you believe me if I said the guy I was trying to punch moved out of the way?”
“You put enough force into your swing to break your hand on some guy’s face?” Tim asked, the disbelief written all over his face. “I don’t really buy it.”
“Buy what?” Jason asked as he crawled through the window, his helmet under one arm. He straightened up, only scowling when he caught sight of Dick sitting on the couch nursing his broken hand wrapped in ice. “What is he doing here? I thought we had an agreement.”
“It’s not like I specifically asked him to come,” Tim shot back. “He’s hurt. He came here to get ice and crash. That’s part of the reason B even got these apartments.”
“Whatever.” Jason swept past them into the kitchen, dropping the helmet onto the coffee table, and Dick couldn’t help but slump.
Sometimes he hated this, especially on nights like this. It didn’t used to be this way. The hardest nights Dick used to have were spent wrapped up in a blanket in front of the fire, Bruce curled around him and Alfred serving hot chocolate. He used to be able to be however weak he wanted to be, all without consequence.
Now his hard nights were spent away from the manor, away from his family, even if it wasn’t by his own doing.
Bruce kept his distance. Ever since Jason had died, something within the man had shattered, and he hardly let anyone get close enough to him to talk let alone hug. Dick could never ask Bruce to hold him when he was feeling weak. Not anymore.
Jason had come back to life a completely different person, but it wasn’t like Dick had tried to get to know little Jason while he was Robin, too angry at Bruce, at the world to even try. And it wasn’t like Dick could go to Jason when he was struggling with his own head. Jason practically wanted nothing to do with him.
Cass always welcomed him, especially on the hard days. She seemed to get it, even without Dick saying anything, and she would wrap him up in a hug, not saying anything. It was always enough to put a smile on his face, but Cass wasn’t always there anymore. When she was there, Dick wasn’t. When Dick was there, Cass wasn’t.
Tim was harder. Tim had never been the most comfortable when it came to talking about emotions or dealing out physical comfort, and Dick didn’t blame him in the least. The kid tried, but the way his life had been so far, Dick didn’t like dishing out his problems for Tim to see.
Damian was a hard one. Just like Dick had a hard time seeing Bruce break down, he had this ridiculous notion—and he knew it was ridiculous—that Damian looked up to him too much. Dick didn’t want to shatter that image, and he always had a hard time trying to be anything but strong around the kid.
Alfred. Dick could always go to Alfred. The man always seemed ready to lend an ear and offer a few words of advice, and Dick was grateful, but there was this sense of being a burden.
(Which was ridiculous, but Dick had already proven time and time again that he did things whether they were silly notions or not.)
“So?” Tim prompted, shaking Dick from his own head. “Are you actually going to spill the beans or are you going to spew more crap at me?”
“Dickiebird’s lying to you?” Jason asked, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and peeling off his domino mask. He raised an eyebrow at Dick and plopped down in front of them, sitting on the coffee table like he owned it. “About what?”
“He said he punched a light pole.”
“Did he lie about punching a light pole?”
“He lied about why,” Tim said, his mouth set in a frown.
“I was angry,” he said, decidedly not looking at the two of them. “It was stupid, and I’m going to get it checked out in the morning.”
Jason snorted. “You’re damn right it was stupid.”
“Dick, why—?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
The images were still right there, right at the edge of his memory, waiting to be called back. He didn’t want to see them again. His stomach rolled at the thought, and he clapped his good hand—still gloved—over his mouth.
“Dick?” Tim asked. The couch groaned as Tim sat up, placing a light hand on his shoulder. “Dick, what’s wrong?”
Dick didn’t answer, though. Instead he lurched up off the couch and sprinted towards the bathroom, only making it in time to shove the door open and slide down in front of the toilet. The moment he took his hand away from his mouth he retched into the bowl, his stomach heaving.
He couldn’t stop them. The girl’s body splayed out on the ground, limbs twisted in ways that couldn’t possibly leave her alive as the blood pooled beneath her coincided with the memories of his parents’ deaths, their bodies twisted in much the same way, and Dick couldn’t push them back anymore.
It was agony. He should have told someone about the lines. He should have grabbed the girl before she had let go. He should have done a lot of things, and they had both fallen because he’d been too slow to save them.
He’d reached out to her, ready to help her back onto the roof she’d been thrown off by Cliché Villain #3 of the night. The guy had taken her hostage, thrown her off the roof to make his escape, and she’d managed to grab the railing. Which would have been great if she hadn’t looked at his outstretched hand with distrust and then let go.
Dick had dived after her immediately. Only—he hadn’t made it in time. He had to watch her body hit the ground. He barely managed to save himself
Dick had called the police, explained what happened to Commissioner Gordon when he showed up, and then had left, the Commissioner’s gaze following him sadly.
And now here Dick was, his memories colliding as he spat into the toilet, his stomach finally settling some. He hated himself, he was having another bad night, and he was breaking down. The tears were silently rolling down his cheek and all Dick could do was lay down a cheek against the cool porcelain and try to get his breathing under controlled.
“Dick?” someone asked, and Dick startled slightly. He’d forgotten where he was for a minute, and he looked up to see Tim crouching next to him. “Dick, are you okay?”
“Got the thermometer,” Jason said before Dick could even open his mouth, sliding into the room. His domino mask was missing now, and he looked tired and worried, and honestly? Dick wasn’t sure how to handle that.
Tim took the thermometer and turned to Dick. “I’m going to take your temperature,” Tim told him, and it was like he was treating a cornered animal. He was treating Dick like glass, and Dick hated everything about it. “Open your mouth.”
Dick pushed himself upright, leaning against the bathtub, and he let Tim stick the thermometer under his tongue. He wasn’t sick, he didn’t have a fever, and Tim probably knew that, but they both played along, and after a few minutes, the thermometer proved it.
“Is it the flu?” Jason asked as Tim checked it. “I swear, Dick, if I catch the flu, I’m going to kill you. That’s not an idle threat.”
“It’s not the flu.” Tim frowned at Dick. “Are you going to throw up again?”
Dick shook his head, and when he spoke, his voice was quiet. “No, I’m okay.”
Tim didn’t look like he believed him, but he dropped it. “Let’s get you to the couch, then.”
Jason didn’t look happy about it, but he and Tim maneuvered Dick into a standing position and half-carried him to the couch. Dick slumped onto the sofa the moment he was able to, sinking into the cushions.
“What was that about?” Jason asked as he settled onto the coffee table. Tim had disappeared between one blink and the next, but Jason kept his voice low, so Dick assumed that Tim was still somewhere around the apartment.
“I’m having a bad night,” Dick sighed, his eyes fluttering closed.
“That was more than a bad night,” Jason told him, his voice serious. “That was—That was something else.”
The images flashed before his eyes again and Dick had to force himself to take a deep breath as he opened his eyes again. The ceiling would have to do. He wasn’t going to be able to close his eyes without seeing her body. Not tonight.
“I watched someone die tonight,” Dick admitted. He didn’t know why. Jason was here, he seemed to be offering for the first time since before he had died, and Dick wasn’t sure how to wriggle out of this. “I was right there, but I was too slow. She fell to her death.”
Spoken aloud, the images seemed to cement into reality, and Dick shot up against the sudden tightness in his chest. He couldn’t breathe, and reached out blindly for something—someone—to ground him. His parents, Jason, this girl—who next? Who else was going to be taken from Dick? Who was he going to lose because he was just—just too slow?
“Dick,” Jason was saying, gripping Dick’s arms tightly, and Dick gripped them back, hanging onto them like a lifeline. “Dick, look at me.”
“I tried to save her.” Dick was rambling now, the words spilling out of his mouth before he could stop them, but he just felt so messed up inside. “I swear, but she wouldn’t take my hand. Just as I was going to grab her, she slipped. And then she was dead.” Dick wrestled his arms from Jason’s grasp to pull at his hair. “Why is it that every time I turn around, someone else is dead?!”
Jason was in his face again, pulling gently at Dick’s hands, trying to untangle his fingers from his hair. “Take it easy, Bigbird,” Jason murmured, and he sounded really concerned now. “You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep that up.” Then he twisted towards the bedrooms in the apartment and shouted, “Tim! Tim get in here!”
“What?” Tim asked, scrambling through the bedroom door and into the living room as Dick struggled to calm his breathing. “What’s wrong?”
Bad night. It was just a bad night, and if Bruce were still willing to snuggle up with him on a couch in front of the fire, then maybe it wouldn’t have gotten this bad. Dick should have found some other way to calm himself down instead of breaking down right in front of Tim and Jason.
“I think he’s having a panic attack,” Jason said. Dick heaved for breath. Tim came closer, and Jason stayed where he was, speaking to Dick this time, “Take a breath, Dickiebird. You’re going to pass out if you keep it up.”
Dick rode out the panic attack, Tim and Jason sitting there next to him murmuring calm reassurances, and eventually, Dick felt okay enough to let his shoulders drop and fall back against the arm rest.
“I’m okay,” he whispered when Tim hovered and Jason back away. “Seriously. It’s just been a hard night.”
Tim swallowed visibly. “Yeah, maybe say something next time, okay? I’m always here for you.”
Jason didn’t say anything, but his eyes were hard as he stared at Dick, and Dick couldn’t help but glance between his two little brothers and sigh. “Okay. Next time, I’ll come straight to you, alright?”
Dick spent the rest of the night with his little brothers, and even though he didn’t sleep a wink, even though the panic attack was gone and the images weren’t, Dick felt at home enough in the apartment with Jason and Tim that the bad night turned into an okay morning.
199 notes · View notes
obliviousoso · 7 years
Note
1- 150 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
@silent-of-spirit I bet you thought I wouldn’t do it but I didCX Under the cut for sheer length 
1.Who was the last person you held hands with?
My date-mate Michael 
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
Shy generally but I have myoutgoing moments
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
My friends from DVC when I swoopthrough during my spring break
4. Are you easy to get along with?
I’d like to think so, I hope so, I’mgonna go with yes. 
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
I would hope at least one of themwould yeah. 
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
In general? Nice ones, nerdy ones,ones with passion and smiles and stories, people who make me feel good, peoplewho share my interest and also share their interests with me, creative people,really anyone who might bring positivity into my life and also people who Ifeel like could use some positivity. Speaking physically? I dig guys who aretaller than me, I’m weak for bara’s but also like trim figures. Gals of anyheight are great and curves and squishy tummies are so so nice. I also have hada thing for blonds since early childhood. But honestly everyone’s lovely andregardless of how you look if our personalities vibe I will probably fall inlove with you. 
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
Well I’m presently in one now so Ihope that’s still a thing two months from now. And I mean who knows, maybe Iwill be in another relationship too but I think I can pretty confidently answerthis question as yes to at least one relationship. 
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
My friend Calvin cause I miss himand we need to hang, my friend Mark because I’m doodling his oc right now andthinkin about hairstyles for that, Michael cause I’m watching Rooster teeth asI write this and I associate that with him.
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Not at all.
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
My mum I think? Or Julia? My brainis bad at specific times and I had two convos pretty close to one another. It’sone of those. 
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
“That sounds like an exasperatedconductor XD” 
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
In no particular order:
Paris by the Chain Smokers
Satisfied from Hamilton
Waiting For Love by Avicii
Get Better by the Bleachers (my all-timefave 100% of the time)
Waving Through a Window by CalebHyles
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
God yes
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
Miracles more than luck but yes
15. What good thing happened this summer?
This last summer? I got a jobselling cheese at farmers markets with my friend and got to go to cool placesand meet cool people. 
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Last person I smooched was my mumand I will probably smooch her again before bed so yea, all the kisses forever~I love my mommy =3
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
Yep, not planets close to us butsomewhere out there there’s gotta be. 
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
Nope, he disappeared to themysterious land of Florida.
19. Do you like bubble baths?
Yep~
20. Do you like your neighbors?
I’ve spoken to them once that Ican recall so I don’t really have an opinion. 
21. What are you bad habits?
Procrastination, I rip my hair outsometimes, I’ve got shit study habits, I write fanfiction in class instead ofnotes, I’ve got a lot of bad habits but these are the ones that popped intomind first. 
22. Where would you like to travel?
Everywhere? Is that an option?Japan and England are at the top of that list since I have friends there,looking at one of those for study abroad. Egypt also for friend reasons. TheNetherlands, Switzerland, France (just so I can remember going this time xp),Australia, the bottom of the ocean, space, other dimensions. I just wanna goman, just wanna go wherever.  
23. Do you have trust issues?
Kind of?? I don’t worry aboutstuff like cheating and things but I have trouble trusting that people actuallylike me without ulterior motives or that they’re not just hanging around me tobe nice. I tend to feel like I’ve trapped people into friendships andrelationships with me so I’m always waiting for them to get tired of acting andend things :
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
It’s a tie between my morningshower and the part of my day where I whip my bra off and know it’s staying offfor the rest of the day. 
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
Generally I’m pretty happy with mybody actually but I guess if I’ve gotta pick something I’d say my hair becauseit takes so much effort to keep it up how I actually want to and I generallyjust don’t have the spoons for it so it’s very rare that I’m actually all theway happy with how it looks and/or feels. 
26. What do you do when you wake up?
Lay in bed for five more minuteschecking various apps and psyching myself up for the day. Also say “I know” to my screaming kitty cat as he demands breakfast and pets.
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
Neither? Honestly I really don’tcare, feel like I’d look weird with lighter skin though so I guess I wouldn’tmind a tan. Mostly I wish I didn’t scar so easily xp 
28. Who are you most comfortable around?
My mum, Amber, Julia, Caitlyn, Calvin,Nafisa, Sheridan (this is the list of friends I’m 100% sure don’t hate me.) 
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
Nope, but I’ve had one straight uptell me he dated me because he felt sorry for me. 
30. Do you ever want to get married?
Definitely! 
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
Might be when it’s straight, haven’ttried in a while. 
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
Misha Collins and his wifeVictoria Vantoch, Hugh Jackman and his wife Deborra-Lee Furness
33. Spell your name with your chin.
Lauujrfededn (first name was goingso well and then it just went blah xp)
Oobliviojusolsdo (tumblr handle wenta little better???) 
34. Do you play sports? What sports?
Not by choice but I was made tojoin the basketball team in middle school. 
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
TV
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
Most of my life is unrequitedcrushes.
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
Generally nothing because I’mafraid to break them.
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
Someone who’s as excited about meas I am about them, because I’ve found in past relationships that I tend to be waymore invested in the other person than they are in me. Someone who’s fine with meshowing love often and wants to show it in equal measure. Someone who is my bestfriend as much as they’re my lover, who has inside jokes with me and storiesand just loves to be with me and I love to be with them and we go on adventuresor sit around and either way its great because we’re great and we make each otherhappy. And also someone I can be unhappy with, someone I can cry in front ofand not worry about running them away, someone I don’t have to hold back with,someone I’m not scared to say “I need attention” to, because that’s honestlyone of the hardest, scariest things for me to say so I never say it and end upfeeling neglected. I just want people I can be happy with and honest withbecause a lot of what I’ve learned to do in relationships is lie about how I amand what I want so that I bend around what I think the other person wants fromme. I guess mostly my dream partner is someone I’m 100% comfortable and honest with.Extra points if they love dragon age. 
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
Daiso is my snackfood and school supplydestination, Forever 21 is where most of my summertime clothes are from, I alsolove the bioware and Bethesda online stores, and Boxlunch is pretty cool too~ 
40. What do you want to do after high school college?
I honestly have no fuckin clueanymore. I’m thinking maybe join the Peace Corps if I stay on the politicalscience track. Honestly it’s more likely I’ll just keep working my jobs andmaybe look for another one to add to the stack. I’ve got no idea where my lifeis going xp
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Depends on what they did. Somethings you just gotta walk away from. The world can give them a second chancewith someone else, you gotta take care of yourself. 
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
If we’re alone and I’m quiet I’mvery comfortable and enjoying our time together. If I’m with oodles of peopleand being extremely quiet I am veryuncomfortable and/or self conscious and probably trying not to panic or cry.
43. Do you smile at strangers?
Usually. I like to see othersmile. 
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
Why not both? If I’ve gotta choseI guess I chose the ocean because I’ve wanted to explore it longer than I’ve wantedto visit space. 
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
Needing to pee usually. Or my catscreaming at me for breakfast. 
46. What are you paranoid about?
That everyone I love actuallyhates me and that they’re all disappointed in me. That I’m actually a horrible,toxic person dragging everyone down, that if I let slip for even a few momentsthat my mental illness is acting up everyone will abandon me. That something horriblemight happen to my mum when she’s out of my sight. Mostly I’m a great bigbundle of abandonment issues. 
47. Have you ever been high?
Yep, got a funny story about myfirst experience with edibles if anyone wants to hear. 
48. Have you ever been drunk?
Also yep, though only twice so farin my life. I dislike it immensely and generally avoid drinking very much. 
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
Not that I can think of.
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
Pullover hoodie? Purple. Zip uphoodie? Blue and yellow. 
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
God yes
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
My brain and the fact that it’s adepressed, traumatized mess. 
53. Favourite makeup brand?
… The cheap one??? I don’t makeupvery much, generally just buy cheap stuff or get gifted things. 
54. Favourite store?
I’m gonna go with Daiso for thisone. 
55. Favourite blog?
More than one cause I do what I want!Also alphabetically~ Also I can untag ya’ll if you want XD
@crispsauce datemate/beautifulfriend
@despondent-dulcet beautifulfriend
@galaga-senpai beautiful friend
Reapers-carino (too shy to tagthem properly) Awesome Overwatch writer
@silent-of-spirit beautiful friend/fantasticwriter
@trollfishprince beautiful friend
Xreader (also too shy to tag themproperly) Awsome Overwatch writer
56. Favourite colour?
Purple, specifically lavender 
57. Favourite food? 
Sushi, especiallythings with salmon or yellowtail 
58. Last thing you ate?
Chicken Katsu
59. First thing you ate this morning?
Sweetbread thing I got at Daiso
60. Ever won a competition? For what?
Not on my own that I can recall.My group did win the skit competition at Jack and Jill’s teen conference in2011 I think it was. 
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
Nope
62. Been arrested? For what?
Also nope
63. Ever been in love? 
Several times. Tends notto work out. 
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
I was at my first girlfriend’shouse and we were hanging out in her room talking on the phone with my other friend that Ihad a crush on and who would later become the boyfriend who told me he dated mebecause he felt sorry for me. We were teasing him about something and it endedup on the subject of kissing and in the middle of me talking about somethingshe just kind of leaned over and kissed me. It was nice. She tasted like thehomemade peach ice cream we’d had after dinner. 
65. Are you hungry right now?
God no. I ate way too much today.
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
The friends I have on tumblr arereal friends and I love them the same as anyone else~ 
67. Facebook or Twitter?
Facebook
68. Twitter or Tumblr?
Tumblr
69. Are you watching tv right now?
I have youtube on my tv in thebackground. I am not invested. 
70. Names of your bestfriends? 
Amber, Caitlyn, Julia,Calvin, Sheridan, Nafisa (it’s that same list of friends I’m sure don’t hateme.) 
71. Craving something? What?
Emotional validation, a sense of purpose,milk tea. 
72. What colour are your towels?
Many
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
One head pillow one body pillow
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Yes, Molly the bear and Ducky thepencil case duck.
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
I’m gonna say 100. There’s atleast 30 in my room right now and then all the ones I ever had growing up invarious storage slots in this house and our house in the south. 
75. Favourite animal?
Cows on land Jellyfish in the sea
76. What colour is your underwear?
Black with red trim and HelloKitty on my butt
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Vanilla
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
Rose
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
Grey with grey text
80. What colour pants?
Invisible (aka none)
81. Favourite tv show?
It’s between Gallivant and StevenUniverse 
82. Favourite movie?
I’ve got a lot but Big Fish or Spyare probs at the top right now
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
Mean Girls 
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
Hmmmm 21 Jump Street
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
Gretchen 
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
Bruce 
87. First person you talked to today?
Michael 
88. Last person you talked to today?
Mum
89. Name a person you hate?
Our present POTUS 
90. Name a person you love?
My mum
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
Our present POTUS
92. In a fight with someone?
Not that I’m aware of 
93. How many sweatpants do you have?
Like six????
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
At least 20
95. Last movie you watched?
Saw Kong Skull Island with mumlast Sunday. It was fun.
96. Favourite actress?
I really like Melissa McCarthy andalso Danai Gurira
97. Favourite actor?
Hugh Jackman and also Alan Rickman 
98. Do you tan a lot?
Not on purpose but it happensevery summer without fail. 
99. Have any pets?
My precious baby Simba! 
100. How are you feeling?
Physically exhausted, mentallyfine
101. Do you type fast?
I’d like to think so
102. Do you regret anything from your past?
Most things.
103. Can you spell well?
Nope but spellcheck saves the day.
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
Lots of people.
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
At least three
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
If I have they didn’t tell me
107. Have you ever been on a horse?
Only once but yes~
108. What should you be doing?
Drawing Mark’s character.
109. Is something irritating you right now?
Not really 
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
Several times. 
111. Do you have trust issues?
Wasn’t this a question earlier? Ithink so. Check above and if not hit me up cx
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Michael I think.
113. What was your childhood nickname?
Daddy called me Coolio because ofmy braids XD 
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
Yeppers 
115. Do you play the Wii?
Can’t find the damn wiimote butyes
116. Are you listening to music right now?
Nope, Markiplier 
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
Who doesn’t???
118. Do you like Chinese food?
Yes~ 
119. Favourite book?
Triple tie between 1984, Brave NewWorld, and the Giver
120. Are you afraid of the dark?
Yes
121. Are you mean?
I try not to be. I hope not. 
122. Is cheating ever okay?
Only in noncompetitive videogames, like using the motherload cheat in the Sims. Otherwise don’t do it. 
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
Jesus no, I’m the family disgrace. 
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Lust maybe but love takes time 
125. Do you believe in true love?
Indeed I do. Though I also believeit’s not limited to one person. 
126. Are you currently bored?
Nah, pretty entertained by doingthis whole thing. 
127. What makes you happy?
My friends, dragon age, my cat,music, anime, rooster teeth, video games, writing, tasty food
128. Would you change your name?
Nah, I like the name my parentspicked for me~
129. What your zodiac sign?
Virgo but I was supposed to be a Capricorn 
130. Do you like subway?
Like the sub shop? I don’t gothere on my own but if someone brings me food from there I’ll eat it. If youmean subway trains I like Bart (bay area rapid transit for anyone who doesn’tknow) just fine. Though I often consider how dirty everything probably is. 
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
That would probably be Calvin?? We’vealready determined that we’re too much like siblings to ever date and I don’tthink that feeling will change on my end at least so I’d probably let him knowthat and hopefully continue things as usual. No use in making things weird. 
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Once again I’m pretty sure Ianswered this already??? Deja’vu??? How do you spell that? 
133. Favourite lyrics right now?
We are one of a kind irreplaceable
How did I get so blind and socynical
If there’s love in this life we’reunstoppable
No we can’t be defeated
Waiting for Love - Avicii
134. Can you count to one million?
I do not have the patience but Iprobably have the ability.
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
I told my mom the cat broke thehorn on her tiny unicorn statue when there was literally no way the cat couldhave reached it or broken it in the way I did. 
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
Open a crack for the cat or elsehe cries and pulls at the carpet
137. How tall are you?
5’4
138. Curly or Straight hair?
Mine is curly I like either onothers. 
139. Brunette or Blonde?
Mine’s brown black I also likeeither on others. 
140. Summer or Winter?
Summer forever please. 
141. Night or Day?
Give me day, eternal light!
142. Favourite month
February has my favorite holidaybut I think I’ll go with July because weather. 
143. Are you a vegetarian?
Nope, tried once and that’s how Ifound out I’m anemic. 
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
White, dark, milk in that order. 
145. Tea or Coffee?
Tea, coffee gives me tummy achesand anxiety
146. Was today a good day?
I think so, yes~
147. Mars or Snickers?
Snickers, even though I’m mildly allergicto peanuts. 
148. What’s your favourite quote?
That’s a good ass question. Ithink I’ll go with:
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goeson.” Robert Frost 
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yep
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the firstline
“And he said unto them, Let theLord be so with you as I will let you go, and your little ones: look to it; forevil is before you.” Exodus 11:10
Ho shit, done! Congrats if you made it through this behemoth, you now know a bunch of useless things about me XD  
4 notes · View notes
ievenranthisfar · 7 years
Text
My Aconcagua Adventure:  Day 13, Summiting the Mountain
Note: I’m publishing my entire Aconcagua journal serially. If you want to read from the beginning, start here.
2/10/17 – Day Thirteen
Like  I was saying… hot damn! 
Yesterday was full-on. Absolutely brutal. Way too long. But also, transcendental.
Because of the weather on the horizon, we had to alter our plans slightly. So rather than sleeping at Camp Colera [Camp Three, 19,357 ft] and attacking the summit from there, we stayed down in Nido de Cóndores [Camp Two, 17,717 ft]. That meant we’d be adding about 500 meters [1,640 ft] up and down plus another 3+ish hours to our day. Not ideal, but we figured it was our best shot. It also meant we’d have to alter our nutrition plan since we cached all our summit day food up at Colera prior to our plans change. (Most tragically, it ALSO meant we didn’t have our massive 960-calories bag of dehydrated macaroni and cheese we had been eagerly saving for our pre-summit dinner.) 
The night before we left, I couldn’t sleep at all. Not because I was nervous, just because of the same weird inability to sleep at this altitude I’ve mentioned before. I put my iPod on and listening to all the Bon Iver and M83 I had, hoping the noise would lull me to sleep. It didn’t. Finally, somewhere around 3:00 in the morning, I finally passed out. Ironically, I slept through my alarm at 4:30. But thanks to my inability to sleep, I woke up at 4:38 and roused Michael.
It was go time.
Fully bundled in four layers of gear, with headlamps strapped to our skulls, we took off under the light of a full moon. Departure time: 5:35am.
The first quartet of our day was the climb back up to Camp Colera. It was dark and frigid and slow. In the early hours, Michael seemed to struggle. He kept falling behind and needing to adjust his layers every five minutes or so. I wasn’t feeling too hot either due to my total lack of sleep the previous two nights. As we slowly picked along, I thought to myself, “So much for the summit.”
Surprisingly, we made it to Colera in about 1 hours, 45 minutes, the same time as two days prior with less gear and more sleep.
The sun had just punctured the horizon as we reached Colera, and we used it as an excuse to take a rest, grab food from our cache and... take monster dumps.
Tumblr media
Speaking of beautiful things, watching night giving way to dawn giving way to sunrise at 20,000 feet was absolutely stunning. To be on the tallest thing around and seeing the other snow-covered mountains around us yawn awake was truly breath-taking.
From Colera, we had a fairly long and uneventful slog up to the Independencia Hut. By now, my toes were getting very cold. Fingers and toes had been my major preoccupation the entire expedition. Mine naturally tend to get cold easily, and I’d like very much to keep them. So I spent the majority of the day wiggling my toes in my boots to make sure I could still feel them or trying to kick blood back into them. In some ways, this was the scariest part of the whole adventure because HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU HAVE FROSTBITE WHEN THE WHOLE POINT OF FROSTBITE IS THAT YO CAN’T FEEL YOUR TOES ANYMORE?? 
Tumblr media
We reached the Independencia Hut around 9:40am. Its claim to fame is that it’s the high refuge in the world, sitting at a staggering 6,400 m [20,997 ft] above sea level. But it’s also in pretty rough shape. The roof is blown off, and you could maybe squeeze two people in there. Maybe.
But, we were grateful for a rest and hid ourselves from the howling wind behind (what was left of) the hut. Realizing we hadn’t really eaten much, we used the opportunity to eat and drink a little, although we quickly discovered that a) with our effort level, the current elevation and the cold, the thought of eating bars or gels was wholly unappealing and b) despite being inside insulators, our Nalgenes had begun to freeze over, making drinking difficult. Not bueno.
Tumblr media
We had already made it 1,000 meters [3,281 ft] on the day. We naively told ourselves, “Only 500 more!” So we slugged our packs over our shoulders and foolishly pressed on into the wind.
Right above Independencia Hut is Windy Ridge. Windy Ridge is called Windy Ridge because it’s a ridge that’s really windy. And if I didn’t mention before, the ridge is really, really windy. So as I was getting blasted in the face by 85 kph [53 mph] winds with snot freezing in streaks across my face, I screamed, “OK! I GET IT! IT’S WINDY!” 
The base of Windy Ridge put us at the start of the second half our journey: the Gran Acarreo (“The Long Haul”). It’s basically a long, windswept scree field pitched at 30° to 45° that you traverse to reach the base of the final push. It’s not particularly tough on paper, simply super windy and long. Most of the time we were forced to walk semi-backwards to protect our faces from the howling wind. And every time I looked up to see how far we’d come, I would just think, “Shit. Is that it??”
Tumblr media
youtube
Finally, the Gran Acarreo gave way to the infamous and dreaded Canaleta. The Canleta is really the only feature anyone talks about on Aconcagua. It’s essentially another scree field featuring rocks ranging from pebbles to boulders that stretches the last 400 meters [1,312 ft] to the summit. Normally, on a normal mountain, it would be fairly tough. But seeing as it starts at 6,500 meters [21,325 ft] above sea level... It. Is. Soul-crushing. 
I’m not really sure how to even describe what it feels like. You can see the summit the entire climb, and you think, “Oh, it’s right there.” And then another hour passes and you think the same thing. And then another hour. And another hour.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Your pace is basically non-existent. Or rather, it’s half-step, half-step, half-step, half-step, rest on poles and breathe heavily for two minutes. And if you have to navigate a big step up or loose scree incline, add another three minutes of breathing time. It sucked. Really hard.
We finally made it to a resting place maybe 300 meters [984 ft] from the top near some caves. Michael was really struggling again (I mean, so was I), and I was still supremely concerned about my toes, which I could now only barely wriggle and only together a single unit. They were nearing the danger zone.
As we left the caves, we passed what seemed to an alpine stretcher about 20 feet to our left. I’m not 100% certain, but I’m pretty sure inside was the body of the North American guy who died up there. We heard that his body was still up by the Cuevas, and I saw what looked like two bootied feet sticking out the end. Whomever it was, it was a sobering reminder of what we were undertaking.
By now, with the altitude, I started to feel like I was moving outside my body. Noises started to sound differently. Some became barely audible. Others sounded like they were next to my head. I used the squeaking of my poles twisting in the snow as a totem. It helped to keep me conscious and present. But it didn’t always work. I realized after long stretches of time that I hadn’t bothered to wriggle or even think about wriggling or even care enough to think about wriggling my toes. I was totally spaced. And Michael was pulling farther and farther ahead of me.
We were both severely hypoxic by now. Our progress slowed considerably and despite being only 150 meters [492 ft] from the peak, we were growing more apathetic with every step.
It’s a weird kind of endurance, this mountaineering thing. Deep determination, ambushed by howling apathy.
youtube
Another hour or so later we were so close to the top, we could see the rock. But between it and us was a narrow, very steep ledge covered in icy snow. Michael said he was going to put his crampons on. “But we’re right there,” I protested. Literally we were 150 steps away. The summit was right there. But he was right. So, breathing heavily, I shrugged my pack off my back, sat down on the edge of the trail, grabbed the crampons and tried to attach them to my boots. We had done the same thing 200 meter [656 ft] and two hours earlier, and that was difficult. But now, at around 6,900 meters [22,638 ft], it was the hardest thing I’d ever done. I just couldn’t bend fair enough to get this one strap through this one little hole on my right crampon. I grunted and strained and breathed. With each attempt, I was burning precious oxygen. I was getting angrier by the second. 
Finally, I got it. I sat up and suddenly came to. Holy shit.
I had blacked out for about ten minutes. I lost track of time and space. It was confusing and—needlessly to say—a little scary, especially since I was sitting on the ledge of the trail. A fall off to the left would’ve been a nasty spill down the very precipitous scree field. But at least I had my damn crampons on. So I collected myself, and we moved out. So close.
Tumblr media
Just like some kind of cheesy where the hero stumbles across the room to hit the red button that saves the whole planet, we staggered towards the summit. Despite being able to see the summit literally in front of us, we couldn’t move any faster. Our legs and lungs felt encrusted in concrete.
And then suddenly, we were there. We had made it. The highest point in the Americas. 22,841 feet. Time: 2:08pm.
Tumblr media
I tried to get Michael to hit sticks like we always did at the end of a climb, but he just stared at the ground and groaned, “Noooo.” I think it was a combination of hypoxia and the fact he had tossed his poles about two feet away.
youtube
We took a few pictures, hugged and just tried to soak it all in. The moment was almost too big to full comprehend it. 
In one book, I’d read that because the Himalayan season starts a few months after Aconcagua’s, when you stand on the summit, you could very well be the highest person at Planet Earth at that exact moment. And it felt like that. (Also, just to make sure, I stumbled over to the biggest rock up there and stood on it. That way I’d be higher than Michael.)
We had done it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
youtube
Tumblr media
youtube
But of course, if you go up, you have to come down. And we had spent just about every ounce of energy, mental capacity and emotion making it to the summit. That, combined with our lack of eating or drinking, meant we were seriously, seriously toasted. It was time to get down. We had been on the summit about 25 minutes.
As we started picking our way down slowly, it became readily apparent that Michael was really messed up. He was stumbling. And stopping. And cursing. I wasn’t far off myself.
We—very slowly—made it back to the Cuevas where we forced ourselves to eat and drink whatever we could. I shoved my bag of tortilla chips into my face to get some salt. But only half of the chip actually made it into my mouth. The rest either tumbled down the front of my jacket or ended up glued to my now-frozen-solid mustache and beard. A guide and two German hikers sitting nearby gawked at us with a combination of pity and disgust. We were drooling on ourselves.
After our stop, we descended the rest of the 1,300 meters [4,265 ft] feeling somewhere between gold garbage and hot garbage. Michael stumbled a few more times, slicing into his down pants with his crampons, and I threatened to force-feed him some dexamethasone.
Tumblr media
By the time we starting coming of Colera, it was my turn to feel awful. We had started running down the steep slope, just wanted to be done and back in the tent. And in the late afternoon sun, with all my gear on, I started to get severely overheated and nearly fell a few times on our final descent.
But finally we had made it.
We were done. Total time: 12 hours, 15ish minutes.
We threw our shit down and just groaned outside our tent. Then we got inside the tent and groaned for even longer in there.
But we had done it.
We lay face-down on our sleeping bags for a few hours. It was total-body exhaustion. I wasn’t sore or hurting, just utterly depleted. Depleted physically, mentally, emotionally, everything-else-ally. As I the whole thing over in my head, trying to decide if it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m still not sure.
But we did it.
For the next few hours, we tried to move as little as possible from the warmth and comfort of our sleeping bags. Occasionally, I would wriggle my toes just because I could and nothing on Earth could make me happier.
Remarkably, neither of us had very bad headaches. We mostly just didn’t want to ever move again. So instead, we cooked our precious dehydrated mac and cheese while fully laying down, out the door of our tent. I was still feeling outside of my body—a very strange sensation—but once we wolfed down our amazing mac and cheese, we both instantly started to feel better. 
I slept better last night than I have any other night this entire expedition (and at 18,000 feet no less). I did, however, have at least three different dreams that we had somehow flown home without spending any time in Mendoza to eat steak and drink Malbec. (That was secretly the ulterior motive behind this entire trip.) In the final dream, as some sort of weird consolation, my brain invented a story about an anti-smoking group stationed at a mall giving me front-row seats to see Usher in concert as well as a dozen logs of cheese. It made no sense, but I assume it’s a metaphor for something. 
Ironically, after all that worrying about my toes, it was my fingers that got it bad. When I awoke the next morning, I noticed a burning sensation on the tips of my fingers. After mentioning to Michael, I realized it was very mild frostbite. Awesome. 
After lazily getting up, we packed our gear and made our way from Nido to Base Camp. Because we had to carry down everything we had plus all our caches, we had a lot of shit. Literally. We had to haul down all the poops we had taken on the mountain in a plastic bag. There was also a lot of leftover food we didn’t eat. Our packs weren’t just heavy but comically exploding too. 
Tumblr media
But as we cranked down the mountain with our massive packs almost tipping us over, passing conga lines of other nervous hikers going up, all I could do was smile and think, “You suckers have no idea what you’re in for.”
Because now we did.
1 note · View note
unicornsandcharlie2 · 4 years
Text
1. What is one thing that brings a smile to your face, no matter the time of day?
David playing around, my baby cousins.
2. What’s is one thing that you’re proud of?
Being a good sister, a communicative daughter and keeping a diary for 11 years.
3. What makes you laugh?
My best friend Marina, she’s hilarious. The Receipts podcast, stan twitter, Real Housewives fight compilations, Dance Moms 
4. When you’re feeling super lazy, what’s your guilty-pleasure Netflix show?
I’ve only begun watching it recently, The Thick Of It, but I haven’t watched it enough for it to be my go to.
5. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
Telling my parents I was sexually abused as a child and who had done it.
6. What is one memory you have from childhood?
Going to the toilet in my kindergarten in Kenya and wearing the blue uniform.
7. What’s the best thing about your life right now?
Not sure. My health maybe.
8. What is one thing that you’re thankful for?
A loving and supportive family.
9. What’s one thing that you fear?
Losing my friends.
10. If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
11. Can you tell me one thing, big or small, that you’ve never told anyone else?
I get blisters on my feet
12. If you were forced to leave your home and move to a county you’ve never been before, what are three things that you’d take with you?
My diary, laptop and my bank card. 
13. What’s a favorite memory with a pet/animal?
Walking ralph and stroking him to sleep.
14. Who are you closest to in your family?
My brothers. But my mum knows the  most about me.
15. What’s your family like?
Loving, invasive, safe, ever growing, loud and Eritrean
16. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Salted Caramel but I love a cheeky chocolate cornetto 
17. What’s your favorite joke?
The Gregg joke
18. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?
Stapled my finger 
19. If you could rewrite your past, what’s one thing you’d change?
I would kiss him back.
20. What do you think your best physical feature is?
My smile
21. What’s one thing about yourself, personality-wise, that you like?
I am an Optimist
22. When you’re feeling down, who or what is your biggest go-to person or activity?
Listening to my favourite podcasts, and talking to my best mates.
23. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Old me would have said chocolate digestives, but I am trying to be healthy so no idea mate.
24. What’s one thing you’re super passionate about?
Reading.
25. If you had to lose one of your five senses, which would you give up and why?
Sense of smell, everything else is essential.
26. What’s the hardest thing, physically, you’ve ever done?
Surviving Masawa heat in a car with 6 other people, sitting on leather seats 
27. What’s the hardest thing, mentally, you’ve ever done or been through?
Coming to terms with my childhood trauma, and the latent issues it caused and manifested itself in destructive behavioural patterns.
28. What’s the best part about your job?
I do not work currently.
29. What’s one thing that defines who you are?
Reading and being a big sister.
30. If tomorrow was your last day on earth, what would you do in your last 24 hours?
Spending time with all my family, kissing my cousins incessantly, calling back to Eritrea, eating my favourite foods, swimming, go for a run, see my best friends .
31. What do you believe in, generally or faith-wise?
I believe in myself, I believe in being kind to people, I believe in being critical when necessary. I haven’t quite figured the rest out yet.
32. If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be?
I’m a Sagittarius. 
33. Where’s the coolest place you’ve ever been/traveled to?
Eritrea
34. What’s one thing people would never know about you just by looking at you?
I love X men and used to read the comics a lot.
35. What’s one thing about the opposite sex that you’re attracted to?
Their backs.
36. What are three qualities you look for in a potential date?
Communicative
Compatible
Beautiful
37. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for a girl?
I got the bus all the way to the practical outskirts of London when I was like 12 to give her a lock in the shape of a heart to let her know she was still my best friends even though we went to different schools.
38. How would others describe you?
Smart, funny a little bit crazy.
39. What’s your all-time favorite memory?
Floating in a river in Turkey looking up at the sky, waking up in the morning to have breakfast with my family in Eritrea, when David says my name, my brothers giving me a hug and a kiss everytime we say goodnight.
40. What are your parents/step-parents/guardians/people who raised you like?
Eritrean, one is a Libra, the other a Scorpio. Nuff said.
41. What’s your go-to alcoholic drink?
Disarrano and coke
42. What would be your ideal first date?
Bonfire night, huddled up together to get warm, in our cute but warm winter clothes. I am drinking dairyfree hot chocolate, November has just begun, the air is crisp and cool. We look at each other, our faces illuminated by the fireworks above us, amongst all these people I know I will be safe with them. We kiss.
43. If you could have three wishes, what would they be?
1) Return back to 2016 and start life again
2)Redistribute wealth and resources to the global south and reparations to the colonised countries
3) Protect all my cousins and brothers from ever being abused.
44. If you could a full 24 hours without any work or obligations, a day to just do whatever you wanted, what would you do?
I did try this and fell into a depressive episode so..
45. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?
When Ali told me he liked my smile.
46. What is something you’re talented at?
Finding books when I have forgotten the name of the book, name of the author and really only know the obscure details of it.
47. What’s your favourite college memory?
Did not enjoy it enough to have a favourite experience.
48. What is your best friend like?
Funny, a Pisces, irreverent, kind, intelligent, athletic, adaptable, mysterious.
49. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
North London.
50. What’s one thing you want to do before you die?
Go to Antarctica.
51. If someone gave you a million dollars right now, what would you spend it on?
Put it all in savings and buy plane tickets for my WHOLE family to visit Eritrea one year so we can all see each other before my grandparents die.
52. Have you ever made a decision that changed your entire life? If so, what was it?
Telling my teachers I was having suicidal thoughts.
53. What’s your favourite thing to do on the weekends?
Read and drink tea
54. What’s your zodiac sign? And do you think it describes you?
Sag sun, Cap moon and Venus, Gemini rising. To a T.
55. What’s your biggest regret?
Too many to count.
56. What can always put you in a good mood?
A good cup of tea and Beyonce.
57. What’s your guilty pleasure snack, drink, or junk food?
Being a Barb and Chocolate digestives.
58. If you were forced to eat fast food for your every meal, what would be your top two places?
Five Guys.
59. What’s one thing you wish you could change about yourself?
I wish I was better being focused and also a billionaire. And to stop dwelling on the past.
60. If you had the option to hit restart and begin life all over again, would you?
YES
61. Have you ever lost someone close to you? What were they like?
In regards to death, yes my Grandfather. He loved me a lot but I couldn’t tell you anything about his personality, stoic I guess. In a broader sense of course I went to 4 different schools, so I have lost friends that way.
62. What’s your favorite social media profile?
My secret twitter, I am very wholesome on there.
63. What’s one thing that totally relaxes you when you’re stressed?
That one day everybody is going to be dead and none of this will matter eventually because our bodies are temporary things which will decay.
64. What’s a random hobby you’ve always wanted to try but never have?
Ballet.
65. When was the last time you cried, and why did you?
Cannot remember, probably a few days ago because of my academic obligations.
66. What scares you the most about the future?
Climate change and my career and my family’s health.
67. Do you want to have children someday?
Yes.
68. What do you imagine your future family will be like?
Healthy and Eritrean.
69. Have you ever done or accomplished something you never thought you could? What was it?
Yes.Telling people about my abuse.
70. What’s one thing you could never live without?
Pen and paper
71. Who is one person you could never live without?
Myself, literally.
72. What’s your favourite vacation place?
Eritrea.
73. Would you rather go out or stay in on a Saturday night?
Go out ( but I don’t very often )
74. What’s your favourite quote, line of poetry, or sentence?
“You don’t have to change, you just have to learn how to live with yourself”
75. What’s your favorite family memory?
I don’t know.
76. What’s one thing that helps you decide you can trust someone?
If they are measured, if I can relax around them.
77. Have you been in love before?
No.
78. How would you explain what ‘love’ is?
Still loving them and wanting the best for them when you are extremely angry.
79. Have you ever gotten your heart broken?
Yes.
80. What’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself from a past relationship?
I am not as slick as I think I am and physical affection makes me feel nervous.
81. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
People moving my shit and not telling me where it is,
82. What’s one thing that’s a total turn off?
Ignorance.
83. What’s one thing that’s a total turn on?
A nice voice.
84. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for a girl?
I don’t fucking know?!
85. What’s your go-to drink/food/activity when you’re sick and in bed?
Tea and biscuits and spicy noodles.
86. What’s the scariest thing that ever happened to you as a kid?
Watching Taken and having very vivid nightmares about it afterward.
87. Who in your family, immediate or extended, are you the most similar to?
Henok.
88. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Happy, and thriving.
89. What’s your favorite song or artist?
Fast Car- Tracy Chapman.
90. What would be your dream job?
Getting paid to read the books I want.
91. If you were writing a book about your life, what would the title be?
I don’t know what’s going on either
92. What’s your favorite word?
Sefanit. It used to be unrealistic.
93. What keeps you up at night?
My academic obligations, trauma, the idea of never being happy and the internet.
94. What’s your go-to phrase?
Good for her.
95. What’s one silly, little-kid item that you still have somewhere hidden in your room?
My unicorn pet pillow, Hayley.
96. Who is someone that’s impacted your life or helped you become who you are?
Myrto- my therapist.
97. What’s one thing you want to achieve before you die?
Go to Antarctica.
98. What’s your favorite book?
This book will save your life by AM Homes.
99. What’s one thing, silly or serious, that you’re guilty of?
Swearing a lot.
100. What makes you blissfully, completely, smile-from-ear-to-ear happy?
Reading, a good cup of tea with chocolate digestives, my best friends jokes, when David says my name, having fun with my mum, my dad calling me sweetie, hearing the right playlist at the right time and clean sheets
0 notes
takaraphoenix · 4 years
Note
shadowhunters for the ask game
Oooh, the shiny! Thanks for playing *^*
Top 5 favourite characters: JACE Herondale, Magnus Bane, Lydia Branwell, Isabelle Lightwood, Simon Lewis
Other characters you like: Raphael Santiago, Bat Velasquez
Least favourite characters: Maryse Lightwood, Jocelyn Fairchild, Valentine Morgenstern. All three of them can get fucked ^-^v
Otps: uh let’s say Top 5? Magnus/Jace, Alec/Jace, Simon/Jace, Raphael/Jace, Bat/Jace
Notps: Luke/Maryse, Jace/Clary, canon Magnus/Alec
Favourite friendships: Jace & Alec, Jace & Simon, Isabelle & Clary
Favourite family: okay so that’d be my non-canon construct of Luke/Catarina being married and raising Madzie together and also Clary getting a good stepmom here. Also Jace is part of this family too because fight me on Luke and Clary accepting Jace into their family during the time they though him and Clary were blood ^-^
Favourite episodes: uuuh Blood Calls for Blood? The reveal of Jace and Clary being siblings, Imogen’s gorgeous face appearing for the first time, Lydia and Isabelle, the Jace angst with “Michael Wayland”‘s return, maybe also You Are Not Your Own because Sebastian and Imogen’s pretty faces and the great acting on the Magnus-Valentine body-switch and again lotsa Jace angst
Favourite season/book/movie: deeefinitely season 2, man. Season 2 was actually good. Like, there were still some downsides to it, but overall it was good
Favourite quotes: not really a quote-kinda-gal
Best musical moment: *blinks* sadly this show has no musical episode but good gods it sure had the chaotic energy to have one now I wish there had been an episode where a whacky spells causes everyone to sing and dance, dang
Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: every time Jace and Alec get to get lost in each other’s eyes and had an actual bonding moment?? JACE MOVING IN WITH MAAAGNUS THAT ONE KILLED ME. Magnus and Jace talking on the balcony at the loft with all the kittens and in daylight, it was so nice *^*
When it really disappointed you: ...we don’t have THAT much time and like look at this, it’s already so long? So, my biggest disappointment is when they forced the kids to forgive their neglective and abusive mother because “my husband cheated on me that’s why I’m a bad mom pls pity me uwu” man I am foaming at the mouth just thinking about the shitty writing there like holy crap :D”“““
Saddest moment: shit so many, but like... inside Jace’s mind when the Owl possessed him? He was so small and broken and it hurt??
Most well done character death: nope. Like, the character deaths were... meh, at best, and frustrating at worst...
Favourite guest star: I have genuinely no idea how you define a guest star but since she is barely in episodes, Mimi Kuzyk as Imogen?
Favourite cast member: Dominic Sherwood *^*
Character you wish was still alive: IMOGEN HERONDALE
One thing you hope really happens: I mean the show has ended so there is that :D
Most shocking twist: I mean... I mean all twists were kind of REALLY predictable or foreshadowed SO HARD that they weren’t twists?? I guess the fact that they DIDN’T kill off Max was a shocking twist for me, because I know that happens in the books and I was like mentally bracing myself for it but then it didn’t happen
When did you start watching/reading?: I started watching it when it first started airing and started reading it... I think during season 2?
Best animal/creature: ...the show doesn’t have animals, which is a travesty. Creature, I guess I do like this world’s take on witches - warlocks with warlock-marks and demon-blood
Favourite location: the Institute is so cool? Old, abandoned church but super high-tech? That makes for such a stunning thing, tbh. But also the Seelie Realm is sooo pretty
Trope you wish they would stop using: miscommunication :D I swear the whole fucking way through this show they whack you over the head with characters not talking to each other, like literally the reason season 1 happens is because Jocelyn Rather Not talk to her daughter about her heritage and Luke doesn’t get to talk to her right away and it just continues through the show that characters don’t communicate to further the plot
One thing this show/book/film does better than others: uuuuuuuuuuuuuh *awkward laugh*
Funniest moments: mh...
Couple you would like to see: HELEN AN ALINE. Due to the cancellation they were crammed in there to happen within two episodes, in the background. I wish I coulda gotten a whole season of them at the Institute, slowly developing their relationship
Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: okay so I REALLY wanted to see Kate Bosworth play Céline Herondale in flashbacks. I really wanted them to elaborate further on the Circle in season 3, I wanted to SEE Stephen and Céline - heck, even younger Robert, Maryse, Luke and Jocelyn. Maybe because Luke or Imogen tell Jace stories about his parents. Either way, I faceclaim Kate Bosworth as Céline because she is beautiful and blonde and has heterochromia like Dominic Sherwood
Favourite outfit: while half of Magnus’ outfits look just ridiculous, the other half looks really fucking good. Also, Jace at the Seelie Court was A Look
Favourite item: I liked the way the Mortal Cup looked
Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: I got custom funko pops of Magnus, Alec and Jace, I own the Herondale family ring, stickers and a button with Jace’s pretty face, a pillow-case with Jace’s pretty everything
What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: realistically, I would probably be a mundie. But I would want to be a warlock :D
Most boring plotline: Maryse figuring out her mundie life. Like. No thank you, not just because I dislike the character but also because the actual main characters didn’t even get to do shit beyond their romantic plotlines and I would have much rather seen some more of them doing life and shit
Most laughably bad moment: ...there are too many, I can’t...
Best flashback/flashfoward if any: I... I mean they barely ever did flashbacks. So I guess the best would be Magnus’ past, even though they were too short??
Most layered character: Don’t try to fight me on this, but Jace Herondale. He who starts out as a shallow asshole and then within a short time is established as only using those walls to protect himself after all the child-abuse. Then all the torture, mental health issues, the soft romantic, the sub. All those sides that go beyond that one dimensional asshole persona
Most one dimensional character: FUCKING OLLIE. Goodness, I loathe her. She is really just that obnoxious one dimensional prodding normal human who tries to get into the supernatural world and then acts all “oh no :O” when the supernatural comes to bite her in the ass -_-
Scariest moment: when they went all creepy with the owl
Grossest moment: there probably were, but I can’t recall right now
Best looking male: DOMINIC SHERWOOD AS JACE HERONDALE
Best looking female: MIMI KUZYK AS IMOGEN HERONDALE
Who you’re crushing on (if any): Imogen
Favourite cast moment: Dominic Sherwood being carried around by others :D I love that there are more than one male cast member to carry him around :DDD
Favourite transportation: that flying motorbike they absolutely underused...
Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): visiting Idris for the first time?
Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: looooooooool the list is too long
Best promo: I don’t watch promos
At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: During the movie!
IN DEPTH FANDOM QUESTIONS
3 notes · View notes
imnotsebastiansten · 6 years
Text
16
When was the last time you moved to a new house?: like 15 years ago i think lmao
What is the most interesting thing in the room you are in?: probably my bucky barnes funko because it also has an autograph from sebastian stan on it uwu
On a weekend, how long do you typically lay in bed before getting up?: good fucking question i have no idea
How long was your longest relationship?: AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
What is your star sign? (ex: Aquarius): capricorn
Now what is the star sign of your significant other/crush?: virgobut its platonic
Which cities/states have you lived in? You can just name states if you want: only bucharest
Tell me about how your parents met. How old were they?: i have no idea how old they were and im not sure how they met either, i think they were co workers or something like that
Are you in college? If not, where do you want to go to college and why?: i dont know yet where i wanna go to college to but im trying to figure that out
What makes your bedroom special to you/what is your favorite part about it?: i dont really know tbh it just has this comfy vibe because its my personal space and everything
When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first?: who tf puts soap on dry hands ew
If you had to pick one chore to do today, what would it be?: probably mop the floor or some shit
When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance?: i dont know
When it comes to school, how motivated are you to work?: not at all
Do you know any high school sweethearts? How’s life treating them?: i dont think i know any idk
Where do you usually buy your clothes?: i dot really buy clothes and when i do its just random stores but im looking for some new shit because my clothes are boring
Would you rather be fluent in Chinese or Japanese?:
japanese definitely
Would you rather meet your soul mate early or date a few people beforehand?: i think id wanna date some people before meeting my soul mate just to get like a bit of experience you know
Name me a funny/weird/entertaining YouTube video, please?: the vine with the guy that shots that toy gun or whatever that shit is and then the guy who got scared by it yells ”this is why mom doesnt fucking love you”
Are your fingernails currently short or long?:
they are not really even unfortunately oof but most of them are long
If you had to be a school teacher, which subject would you teach?:
ehhhhhhh idk i dont think im good at anything
When it comes to relationships, are you the jealous type?: ive never been in a realtionship but i probably am the jelous kind yikes
What do you usually order at Jamba Juice?: we dont have that here
Have you ever been to see Rocky Horror?: i saw like half of the remake a while ago
How long have you had your cell phone?: since july, so like 3 months
Which gift cards do you have in your wallet?: none :(
Which is the scariest ride you have ever been on in a theme park?: idk how its called 
Which celebrity do you think is the prettiest nowadays?: hale appleman, jason ralph, tom hiddleston, sebastian stan, there are so many damn
0 notes
aswadwrites41-blog · 6 years
Text
Alone Quotes And Lonely Feelings
https://www.aswadwrites.in/alone-quotes-and-lonely-feelings/
Alone Quotes And Lonely Feelings
Alone Quotes
Only through our love and friendship are we able to create the illusion of the instant that we’re not by myself. The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved. Loneliness provides beauty to existence. It places a unique burn on sunsets and makes nighttime air odor better. Share the high-quality collection of by myself costs by way of well-known authors, with clever, humorous and provoking quotations on being unmarried, solo, lonely and solitary. Check Our Amazing Collection of Alone Quotes
“I think it’s good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.”
“I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.”
“And the danger is that in this move toward new horizons and far directions, that I may lose what I have now, and not find anything except loneliness.”
“Writing is something you do alone. Its a profession for introverts who want to tell you a story but don’t want to make eye contact while doing it.”
“if you wanted to do something absolutely honest, something true, it always turned out to be a thing that had to be done alone.
Standing Alone Doesn’t Mean I M Alone, I’M Strong Enough To Handle Things All By Myself.
Sometimes the people that u don’t want to get hurt don’t care if they hurt u!
The most painful memory… When I walked away & you let me go.
Incredible Sad Status For Whatsapp
Sometimes in life, it’s good to be Alone… so that No can hurt U.
Never Lose Your Hope, Even If You Are Alone.
I Am Not Alone, But I Am Lonely Without You.
I Care For Someone Who Doesn’t Care About Me.
You Aren’t Going To Leave Me Alone, Are You?
I Just Need A Little Time Alone…To Recharge.
Being Alone Is More Painful Than Getting Hurt.
I Love Listening To Lies When I Know The Truth.
 I’M The Person Everyone Replaces After A While.
Being Alone Is More Painful Than Getting Hurt!
I Am Trying To Be Alone Without Feeling Lonely.
Being lonely is the Difficult thing in life.
Alone Quotes About Love
The trouble is not that I am single and likely to stay single, but that I am lonely and likely to stay lonely.
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
I’m lonely. And I’m lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.
This world that I live in is empty and cold/the loneliness cuts me and tortures my soul.
True enough, it seems that being lonely is one of the hardest things a person can go through in life.
The loneliest people in the world are those with kind hearts and those who always seem to smile and pretend that they are fine.
Latest Collection of Whatsapp Status Love 2018
Is it too much to ask to be happy without expecting a moment of sadness to follow it?
Being lonely is not being alone, you can be in a big crowd of people and still feel lonely despite it.
Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.
I’m learning a lot about myself being alone and doing what I’m doing.
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”
“You smile, but you wanna cry. However, You talk, but you wanna be quiet. You pretend like you’re happy, but you aren’t.”
Alone Quotes For Boys
Sometimes it is necessary to be lonely in order to prove that you are right.
The greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone you can never have.
I will wait until the day I can forget YOU or the day you realize you can’t forget Me.
I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough.
It’s so lonely when you don’t even know yourself.
Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is.
What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?
It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.
Loneliness is the most terrible poverty.
Alone, all alone Nobody, but nobody Can make it out here alone.
Top 150 Attitude Status Hindi Whatsapp 2018
Remember we’re all in this alone.
A big part of depression is feeling really lonely, even if you’re in a room full of a million people.
When everything is lonely I can be my best friend.
I never feel lonely if I’ve got a book – they’re like old friends. Even if you’re not reading them over and over again, you know they are there. And they’re part of your history. They sort of tell a story about your journey through life.
I have the best roommates in the world! It creates a fun sense of family… and that’s really important to me. Things can get so lonely without it.
A big part of depression is feeling really lonely, even if you’re in a room full of a million people.
Absolutely lonely people have few personal interactions of any kind.
Sometimes, you need to be alone. Not to be lonely, but to enjoy your free time being yourself.
Sometimes people have to cry out all their tears, to make room for a heart full of smiles.Happy Being Alone Quotes
I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.
A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.
I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will.
Cool Whatsapp Status Collection 2018
The man who goes alone can start today, but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
There is a danger that we lose sight of what our friend is absolute while considering what she is to us alone.
No face which we can give to a matter will stead us so well at last as the truth. This alone wears well.
Who says being single has to mean you’re lonely? I am using this time alone to re-evaluate and reinvent myself. Beware of what is to come.
God tells us not to be afraid of being alone, of being too weak, of not being heard, and of lacking physical mind knowledge of God.
Being single allows me to spend more time with myself and much attention to my career and more love to my work.
Alone Quotes From Girl
The worst pain for a girl is when she smiles, just to keep the tears from falling, and sleeps, just so she doesn’t have to think about it.
When a girl cries, it’s not usually over one thing… it’s built up anger and emotions that she’s been holding in for too long.
I’m the type of girl who smiles to make everyone’s day. Even though I’m dying on the inside.
Silence is a girl’s loudest cry.
Sometimes I wish Someone out there will find me. Till then I Walk Alone.
People Leave Because It’s easier to Walk Away than to fight for what they Really Want.
“The loneliness you feel with another person, the wrong person, is the loneliest of all.”
“Friends are a strange, volatile, contradictory, yet sticky phenomenon. They are made, crafted, shaped, molded, created by focused effort and intent. And yet, true friendship, once recognized, in its essence is effortless.
Cute Love Status Quotes For Her 2018
“If you learn to really sit with loneliness and embrace it for the gift that it is…an opportunity to get to know YOU, to learn how strong you really are, to depend on no one but YOU for your happiness…you will realize that a little loneliness goes a LONG way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and colorful YOU.”
I just wish someone would tell me, like, “This is how the rest of your life should look.” – Marni
It’s hard to tell someone so young that things don’t always end up the way you thought they’d be. – Ray
I really care about you and I don’t want to anymore because it feels too shitty to me. – Hannah
I don’t like women telling other women what to do or how to do it or when to do it. – Jessa
Alone Quotes For Whatsapp
The only way is to move on because if you don’t you’ll be stuck where you are.
It’s bad when you feel alone in your own home
What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?
The truth hurts for a little while, but lies hurt for a lifetime.
Time to leave everyone alone and just keep to myself again…
Some nights I burn in the fire of my own thoughts.
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
Sometimes people have to cry out all their tears, to make room for a heart full of smiles.
I will wait until the day I can forget YOU or the day you realize you can’t forget Me.
I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough. if you wanted to do something absolutely honest, something true, it always turned out to be a thing that had to be done alone.
100+ Whatsapp Friendship Status
A broken relationship would make you feel more lonely than when you were single.
No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.
It’s sad to be happy alone.
It all started with a beautiful plan, we were in love, cared for each other, but you left me alone.
Sometimes people have to cry out all their tears, to make room for a heart full of smiles.Sometimes people have to cry out all their tears, to make room for a heart full of smiles.
I just need a little time alone to recharge.
That feeling when you’re not necessarily sad. But you feel really empty. (Alone Quotes)
I am not desperate but I am tired of being alone.
Don’t let me go cause, I’m tired of feeling alone.Alone Quotes Sad
“If a man really wants you, there’s nothing in the world that can keep him away. When a man doesn’t want you, there’s nothing in the world that can make him stay.”
“The hardest thing in life is to watch someone you love, love another person.”
“It’s really hard to wait for something that may never happen, and it’s even harder to quit on something when it’s everything you want.” (Alone Quotes)
“How can you feel better when the one person who can stop you from crying is the same person who made you cry in the first place?”
“Don’t make someone a priority when all you are is an option to them.”
“I really don’t hate you. I’m just disappointed that you wound up turning into everything you said that you would never be.”
“It’s bad to lose someone you love, but it’s even harder to lose yourself while you’re loving them.”
“The more time you spend dancing with the devil, the more time you spend in hell.”
20+ Beautiful Heart Touching Quotes Collection
“Someone may desire you, but that doesn’t mean they truly value you.”
“I don’t understand why life keeps trying to teach me lessons I don’t want to learn.”
Behind my smile is a hurting heart, behind my laugh I’m falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am, it isn’t me…
Anger, tears, and sadness are only for those who have given up. – Katie Gill (Alone Quotes)
Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them. – Steve Maraboli
There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy. – Dante
When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions. – William Shakespeare
Alone Quotes In Hindi
“जिन्हें पता होता हैं। की अकेलापन क्या होता हैं । ऐसे लोग दुसरो के लिए । हमेशा हाज़िर रहते हैं ।”
 “साँसोका टूटजाना तो आमबात हैं, जहा अपने बदलजाये मोत तो तब आती हैं |”
“तेरी मुहब्बत पर मेरा हक तो नही पर दिल चाहता है, आखरी सास तक तेरा इंतजार करू !”
“जिस “चाँद” के हजारों हो चाहने वाले “दोस्त”, वो क्या समझेगा एक सितारे कि कमी को !”
“लोग कहते हैं समझो तो खामोशियाँ भी बोलती हैं, मैं अरसे से ख़ामोश हूँ वो बरसों से बेख़बर है |”
“तुम मुझ पर लगाओ मैं तुम पर लगाता हूँ, ये ज़ख्म मरहम से नही इल्ज़ामों से भर जायेंगे.”
“कुछ इस अदा से तोड़े हैं ताल्लुक उसने, एक मुद्दत से ढूंढ़ रहा हूँ कसूर अपना.”
“आज मुस्कुराने की हिम्मत नहीं मुझमें, आज टूट कर मुझे तेरी याद आ रही है |”
“बिछड़ कर फिर मिलेंगे यकींन कितना था, था तो ख्वाब, मगर हसीन कितना था |”
Huge Collection of Sad Status in Hindi 2018
“जो फुर्सत मिले तो मुड़कर देख लेना मुझे एक दफा तेरे प्यार में पागल होने की चाहत मुझे आज भी है |”
“मिलने को तो दुनिया मे कई चेहरे मिले, पर तुम सी ‪#‎ मोहब्बत‬ हम खुद से भी न कर पाये !”
“किसीके अच्छाई का इतना भी फायदा मत उठाओ, की वो बुरा बनने के लिये मजबुर बन जाये.”
“मुझे किसी को मतलबी कहने का कोई हक़ नहीं। मैं तो खुद अपने रब को मुसीबतों में याद करता हूँ ।”
“ज़रुरत है मुझे कुछ नए, नफरत करने वालों की, पुराने वाले तो अब चाहने लगे हैं मुझे”
“गिरा दे जितना पानी है तेरे पास ऐ बादल. ये प्यास किसी के मिलने से बुझेगी तेरे बरसने से नही.”
तुमने क्या सोचा कि तुम्हारे सिवा कोई नही मुझे चाहने वाला, पगली छोङ कर तो देख, मौत तैयार खङी है मुझे अपने सीने लगाने के लिए |”
Related Posts 100+ Love Shayari for True Lovers Top 100+ Attitude Status for Whatsapp 50+ Best Whatsapp Status 2018 Top 50 Best Collection of Funny Whatsapp Status Best Collection of Whatsapp Status in Hindi
#WhatsappStatus #WhatsappLoveStatus #WhatsappSadStatus #LoveStatus #SadStatus #WhatsappStatusHindi #AttitudeStatusHindi #Shayari #LoveShayari #SadShayari #MeaningfulQuotes #EmotionalStatus
0 notes