#let's use a little reading comprehension here folks | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

carefulnowprincess · 2 years

Text

Bloodlust (Daemon Targaryen x House Cole Fem Reader)

Gif credit goes to the original creator

Bloodlust

Daemon Targaryen x House Cole Fem Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ ONLY)

Summary: With your husband now dead at the hands of a King, Daemon has plucked you from your old life and brought you to Dragonstone to be wed. Will your decision to marry be in vain or is there be more below the surface of this dragonrider to be discovered?

Warnings: Mentions of death, short hair Daemon, Daemon being his usual dick self, breeding kink, forced marriage, Daemon’s slutty little strand of hair, sexual teasing, yelling, some bits of hitting (not abusive), blood kink, dom Daemon, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of cheating, spitting kink (just a little), unprotected PIV sex (wrap it up folks), vaginal fingering, oral sex (female receiving, mentions of male receiving), praise kink, fucking on the throne (but not the one you’re thinking of), drinking, hair pulling, biting, rough sex, orgasm denial, Caraxes and mentions of dragons, fear of flying, Daemon is sweet on you and only you

Length: Over 6k

A/N: The piece de resistance, the smutty smut goodness is here! Please enjoy as I worked really hard on trying to capture Daemon and Lady Cole’s marriage and wedding night. Shout out once again to @middimidoris for beta reading, love you! ;)

Please read chapter 1 here and chapter 2 here

Chapter 3

The salty air of Dragonstone is something you came to loathe. It stuck to your clothing, stung your eyes, and coated your tongue. How Targaryens for generations lived in this area was beyond your comprehension, though you imagine it was simply for conquering rather than the actual location. Most days it was bleak, walking along the small shore of the island you had access to. Caraxes often flew over the island, his shrieks heard from miles away. Sometimes it terrified you when he cried out, other times you wished to be as free as him.

A heavy sigh came from your lungs as you walked up the steep steps and back to the castle. Daemon watched you from afar with a fist resting against his cheek. His heart was almost whole. The only way it could be filled to the brim was with your joy being alongside him as Queen, but in the past week, he couldn’t help to notice the sadness and resentment in your eyes. Daemon gave you time to settle into your new surroundings. If he wasn’t so observant he would have wed you the next day you both arrived ashore, but he would not allow it no matter how much he wanted you.

As you made your final few steps to the castle gateway you noticed them open with Daemon walking outside just as Caraxes landed in front of you which caused you to be startled. He took notice and gave you a small smile. The dragon let out a roar that made you jump backwards. Daemon chuckled as he soothed his beast, rubbing alongside his snout and leaning his forehead against him.

“Did he frighten you Lady Cole?” He asked. Your heart was pierced again being called such a name. You approached them both slowly, still unsure of the beast. You had been used to seeing them once in a while when you were off in Westeros to attend several journeys accompanying your husband but while you may have been a strong woman, you were always terrified of being eaten alive or worse, turned into a royal burnt snack.

“I have a name, and it is not that Daemon,” you said coldly. He chuckled but understood your pain.

“Well, it is certainly not Lady Wife or Queen, yet,” he emphasized. He held out his hand to you.

“Come, Caraxes will not harm you. You have my word,” he said gently changing the subject. Feeling uneasy, you took small steps forward with your heart beating loudly. Although Daemon would never want to cause you true pain, he would rather stick a knife in his own heart than see you terrified of his Blood Wyrm.

Steadily you reached out to your King’s hand and took it. He pulled you to his body and looked down at you, his raw stare of purple eyes studying your face. You could not tell what he was thinking until a smile graced his features.

“You have my word, no pain will come to you. Caraxes may be a beast, but he is mine,” he assured you. His cool fingers intertwined with yours before he kissed the back of your hand and slowly placed it onto the dragon scale. “Gīda gīda valītsos,” Daemon cooed to Caraxes.

He felt rough, warmer than you had imagined as your fingers glided along his scales. Caraxes shook himself surprising you but Daemon pulled back watching you interact with his bonded dragon.

For the first time since taking you in, his heart was filling, mended by the laughter of your gentle touch with Caraxes.

Sitting at The Great Hall of the Stone Drum did not feel all that significant. Daemon sat opposite of you at the end of the long table, having far too much of a feast growing cold in front of you. Although you were now more attuned to Daemon’s attitude and became more comfortable even in the presence of his dragon, you still had an uneasy feeling that sat in your gut.

“You should eat something,” Daemon said as he lifted his cup of ale to his lips to drink. You poked at your food but still, you felt disgusted. Your hands curled into fists as you stood up abruptly.

“Why did you have to kill him?!” You shouted. Daemon rolled his eyes and set down his goblet.

“I told you, it was a favor in your honor. Bastards like that do not need to be around for long. Besides, did you forget the little conversation we had before, or were you too distracted by my cock in your warm cunt?” Daemon mentioned casually as he stuck his fork into his fish.

You were shocked at how relaxed he seemed. Your blood was now boiling, both at the thought of the passion you both had once shared one evening so long ago and how little he seemed to care about you in the present.

“ANSWER ME YOU INSOLENT FUCK!” You roared. Daemon's eyes darted to you. He felt the anger and stood up, walking towards you and grabbing your wrists harshly.

“Do not play foolish with me Lady Cole. You never wanted into that marriage. I could smell your cunt dripping the second I saw you in that brothel. You ached for something more, something that your husband knew nothing of. He gave you a home, I am offering you everything. I thought of you night and day, spilled my seed into my hand, fucked every woman I could find and called out your name. Do you STILL NOT UNDERSTAND? I ACHED FOR YOU! EVERYDAY! I STILL DO! Iksā sir lēda nyke se iēdrosa ao vēdros nyke!” A true Targaryan roar erupted from his lungs, his own face becoming frightful.

In the heat of the moment, you pulled away from his grasp and slapped him hard across his porcelain white face. Daemon felt the string of your hand, but even more so, felt the poison in his heart.

“And you thought killing my husband would make me want you, even after all these years? Why just wait until he passed like a normal lord?” You cried as tears formed in your eyes. “He may have been shit, but he was still mine…” you said, slumping down against the table. Daemon grabbed you by the nape of your neck. His hurtful eyes subsided looking at you. He promised himself that did not want to cause you undue pain yet he continued. He would never win you over with reckless acts such as this.

“Because my Lady, I told you, I am fucking consumed by you. I do not want to share you with anyone else. I want to take your cunt into my mouth and make you cry my name each night as we lay together. I want your belly to swell with my children. Your husband was simply a holding place before I saw you,” he said softly. His long fingers found your jaw and traced them lovingly as he kissed your tears away.

Your eyes closed at this moment, weighing the options before you again as you felt his soft lips on the skin your cheeks. You could simply accept your fate since you were already at Dragonstone or you could try to escape, make a new life for yourself somewhere else. Where could you even go? How would you even leave?

Choosing your fate you opened your eyes to meet his, the color of his irises always surprising you.

“Daemon, I do desire you but…please understand what this has done to me, to us,” you said quietly. He felt your nerves calm as his fingers skimmed across your face to your lips.

Your tears finally stopped as he lifted you up to sit on the table. Shamefully he placed his head on your shoulder.

“I will try to understand if you will still have me,” he said in return, muffled by his lips touching your bare skin. You hummed at how calm he was now and traced his white blonde locks down his neck.

“I will still have you, my King,” you said as you kissed the crown of his hair. Daemon lifted his head to look at you.

“My Queen,” he whispered as his lips hovered over yours. You ached to kiss him in his moment but smiled sadly, pulling away from him.

“Not yet. We have not been wed under The Seven Gods,” you stated. Daemon smirked at you.

“Tomorrow we shall wed. The gods will smile upon us and you can finally be my fucking Queen, to give you everything you hunger for, to breathe the fire I have,” he said.

You leaned forward to whisper against his ear.

“I cannot wait my King.”

Loud throbs of the Blackwater Bay waters crashed against your chambers in Stone Drum as you stroked the dress you held in your hands. Fine details in the colors of House Targaryen, crimson red and black, adorned the garment. You fingered down the length of the fabric and felt anxious at the thought of a marriage to Prince, well now, King Daemon Targaryen. He must have been planning your arrival for months as your room was filled with fine clothing fit for a queen. Slipping from the clothing you wore, you put on the dress you would wed Daemon in. Smoothing out your gown, you walk to the mantle of the fire that burned inside your room, staring into the flames as you adjusted your earrings. The fire that crackled inside the pit was like flames that you held inside your heart and stomach, everchanging but never dull. This marriage would be a tricky one you thought, thinking you could not believe you were here now, something in you calling out for the desire to be his queen.

Your thoughts were interrupted as a knock was heard from your door.

“Come,” you said still gazing into the flames, unaware that it was Daemon standing in the doorway.

He felt as if he was in a hallucination, too much of a good red wine flowing through his veins at the sight of you. Your skin glowed beautifully against the fire as your eyes finally met his.

“Ao jurnegon hae iā dream ñuha riña,” Daemon whispered. Your heart was racing, unsure of the language he muttered to you but you smiled at him regardless.

He strutted to you, looking confident and tall, a sight to behold also adorned in black and crimson red. The fine details of dragons lined the fabric and his short hair was slicked back save for a single few locks of his hair hanging off of his forehead. You wanted to yank on it and kiss him abruptly but pushing that thought from your mind you turned to look at him.

“My King,” you nodded your head in gesture before Daemon caught your chin with his fingers. Your heart stopped as you licked your lips.

“My Queen,” he returned, watching your delightful tongue coat your bottom lip with saliva. He had never been more jealous of a tongue.

“Your beauty is radiant in those colors,” he complimented you. You smiled feeling slightly bashful at his words. He took a moment to look you up and down. He studied the rising of your breasts in your dress, down to the floor and back to your eyes. The softness that only you were kind of enough to see showed in his face.

“Thank you Daemon, you look as handsome as any King should be,” you complimented back. Daemon gave a soft smile before he reached out a hand to your head to finger at a lone strain of loose hair.

“I see you did not put your hair up, is there a reason why?” He asked.

You thought for a moment, unsure what to even do with your hair. You remembered seeing him long ago with your husband of House Cole, his long hair at the time adorned by a few strong braids. You felt sadness in your heart as you secretly preferred the longer hair on him.

You gave a puzzling look. “I just finished dressing when you arrived. I am honestly perplexed as to what I should be doing with it,” you motioned as you watched him play with your hair.

“I could be of assistance if you will allow me,” he offered. You nodded. He gestured for you to turn around as he began to stroke at your hair, his fingers easily running through it. The sensation was unmatched, a welcome touch from your future husband.

With just the glow of the fire, Daemon made quick work of producing four braids into your hair with half-up ponytail. The style was simple but allowed you to show off the dangling earrings that you wore. As he finished creating the last braid, he desired to kiss you along your neck and shoulders but decided not to. Instead, he reached into his pocket.

“Move your hair for me my darling” he cooed. Your face did not turn except for a brief glance over to him and did as you were instructed when you felt a heavy coldness sitting around your neck. You looked down at the jewels of the necklace you now wore, studying it in front of the flames.

Bending down Daemon breathed onto your ear, the hotness feeling relief as you felt a chill in your chambers from the dampness of the waters that churned outside.

“When I fuck you later, I want you only wearing this,” he whispered. The fire that was in your gut moved to your cunt, igniting a larger flame that you had not felt since that night in Flea Bottom.

You breathed out a shaky breath and turned to face him, your arousal licking at your throat again with the words you chose to say next.

“I wouldn’t imagine it any other way, my King,” you teased with an eyebrow lifted. Daemon’s cock twitched in his pants. The desire to toss you onto your bed and fuck you senselessly was high, but he wanted to wait, no matter how much you prodded at him.

He chuckled in return, pulling you against his body to feel his semi hard cock rub against your leg. You gasped a bit with your cheeks tingling and the feeling being sent down your body.

“In two hours then you shall be by my side in The Great Hall, wed as King and Queen. Do not be late,” he said firmly, reaching out to stroke his thumb against the large jewel of your necklace.

With a hover of his mouth above yours, Daemon breathed onto your lips before exiting your chambers and closing the doors.

You were once again left aching in a dark room with your chest rising up and down in anticipation.

Two hours could not come soon enough.

Daemon waited patiently in The Great Hall with a septon he had found as he held his hands behind his back staring at the closed doors. The few hours had passed by faster than you imagined as you stood behind the wood, still a racking nerve going to your brain and heart. You did say you would wed him, didn’t you? Of course, you were in the throws of passion agreeing to such a thing causing you to lose sight of what you had really felt at that moment in time. Either way, it was now or never as you pushed open the doors.

In the tradition of Westeros, normally your father or a brother would walk alongside you to your husband, but this was no tradition. Gracefully you made your way to stand in front of Daemon and the female officiant.

Daemon watched you like the first time he had seen you, stunned by your beauty as felt seeing you earlier in your chambers.

After your romp together in Flea Bottom, Daemon took special notice each time you accompanied your husband to Kings Landing admiring the beauty you so easily brought to every boring feast he was forced to sit at. He would simply drink his wine, desire in his eyes sparkling at you, watching you put on a show with your husband as you danced the evening away. You would look at him as well from a distance, never approaching him except when being greeted at the beginning of your journey and your ending. How in those moments you desired to fall to your knees and take his cock in your mouth, something to take the edge off before you became bored to tears at returning to normal life as Lady Cole.

The septon raised her hands in the air as you both looked at each other, the fire of the dragon showing through to you from Daemon’s eyes as you studied his beautiful face, watching your eyes with each move as you smiled.

She began the ceremony reciting prayers of The Seven Gods before she looked at Daemon.

“You may now cloak the bride and bring her under your protection,” the officiant said as she gestured to Daemon to remove his cloak and cover you. Slipping off the much larger black cloak adorned with the sigil of House Targaryen from his body, he placed it onto your shoulders before returning to his spot in front of you.

“We stand here in the sight of gods to witness the union of man and wife. One flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever,” the woman stated. A white ribbon appeared from her robes as she wished for you both to hold hands to begin the tying of the fabric before Daemon stopped her. Tugging a small dagger from his waist, he pricked a finger producing a few drops of blood. He signaled for you to do the same, gently pressing the blade against your skin as blood began to drip. Now holding hands together, the blood you shared seeping together as one, symbolizing the blood of the dragon now flowing through your veins.

Daemon nodded to the septon to continue as she tied the fabric around your entwined hands. The blood you both shared stained the ribbon making your heart swell as you looked at Daemon. He gave you the same look of adornment as he always does, the sound of officiant barely registering in his mind as he was too focused on you.

“Let it be known that Lady Cole and King Daemon of House Targaryen are one heart, one flesh, one soul. Cursed be he who would seek to tear them asunder."

"In the sight of the Seven, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one for eternity,” she announces as she unties the ribbon from your coupled hands. Daemon took the ribbon and placed it into his pocket as he still gripped your hand tightly.

“The love of the Seven is holy and eternal. The source of all life and love. We stand here tonight in thanks and praise to join two souls as one. Father, Mother, Warrior, Smith, Maiden, Crone, Stranger. Hear now their vows.”

"Look upon each other and say the words,” the septon commands as you both look at each other. You feel the flutter in your heart you had not felt in a long time.

"I am hers and she is mine. From this day, until the end of my days," he says softly with a smile.

You smile back and repeat the vows. "I am his and he is mine. From this day, until the end of my days."

With a step forward, Daemon took your face in his hands with a tender hold, looking at you with all the love and trust he had in his heart. "With this kiss, I pledge my love," he whispered against your lips before he sealed them against yours in a blistering and meaningful union. You wanted to moan at the taste of him as it had been such a long time, but you simply wrapped your arms around him to hold.

He pulled away from your mouth for a moment to whisper against your lips.

“Iksā sir ānogar ānograro,” he said staring into your eyes. Daemon finally felt whole, his heart a goblet now pouring through the rest of his body to finally have you in his arms for the rest of his life.

You smiled in return and for the first time in so many years, you felt needed, wanted and excited to begin your new chapter as a Queen.

As Daemon escorted you to the long table to share a prepared meal, he looked at you as if he never looked at anyone else.

Now that he had you, he vowed to himself to never let you go.

The small feast after the ceremony was pointless as you both attempted to sit quietly next to each other but proved impossible as Daemon struggled not to bed you on the table itself. There was a wine that flowed through you both, making sloppy endeavors to remove the clothing you both had on your bodies. He leaned over to your chair, gripping onto the wood as he pulled you from it to set you on top of the table, carelessly pushing food aside and ripping seams of fabric. You felt so hot as your head was swimming, watching from behind cups spill onto the floor and clattered plates fall.

“My King,” you breathed out in a panic as he bit into your neck and down your throat. Your undergarments were starting to feel the effects of Daemon’s spell he had over your mind before you yanked on his hair, slick with sweat. He breathed heavily looking at you.

“My Queen,” he answered as he reached beneath your dress to cup your mound. You gasp out at the feeling as you made slow movements sitting up, his fingers finding your wetness.

“I don’t want us coupling here the first time,” you pleaded to him. Daemon groaned, his cock pressing uncomfortably against his pants.

“You said that so easily, yet the first time we fucked you didn’t mind the roughness,” he chuckled. You laughed in return.

“I have grown you know, but–”

“True, you’ve grown to be more beautiful than any woman in all of Westeros and beyond,” he murmured against the swell of your breasts. You whimpered. You tugged hard against his hair again to get his attention. A hiss came from his lips.

“Fuck me like a proper Queen then, take me to our chambers,” you said seductively.

Daemon moaned in annoyance but agreed, picking you up off of the table as you wrapped your legs around his waist as he led the way out of The Great Hall, down the corridor of hallways, and finally making his way to his chambers. The room was larger than yours but embellished in fine tapestries that you had little desire to look at in the heat of the moment.

You were tossed onto the bed and sat up quickly to begin unthreading your dress from behind as you watched Daemon remove his vest, and shirt and unlace his boots. The feeling between your legs grew more feverishly, wanting to ride him like the dragon king he was as you toss your gown to the floor. You were now naked before him save for the jeweled necklace you promised to keep on as he fucked you.

He pulled you to the end of the bed grabbing your legs and seizing your lips in a forceful kiss. You moaned against his lips, pressing your tongue against him to allow you to enter. He happily accepted as he licked into your mouth. Teeth clashed as Daemon reached down to finger at your necklace for a moment before squeezing hard on your breast causing you to break from your kiss.

“Oh Daemon,” you whined as he dipped his head down to take a breast into your mouth, nipping harshly and biting. His free hand kneaded your other breast as you laid back watching him.

“You’re so lovely my Queen, your breasts will soon feed our children,” he murmured against your skin as gave the same attention to your other breast. Heat rushed through your body at his comment, the thought of bearing babes to him something you would not dismiss as you did for your previous husband. A pinch of your nipples in both hands and Daemon’s lips were on yours again as you fought to breathe. Moaning together Daemon trailed his hand down the curves of your body to feel everything your body had to offer him.

Pulling away from your lips, Daemon sat up to remove the final barrier of his clothing but not before he tugged at the small dagger you saw during the ceremony. He set it down next to you, curious about what he was planning.

“My King?” You asked breathing heavily.

“Do not worry about it for a moment lady wife,” he said taking off his pants. His cock sprung free from its confines and you were greeted by something you had ached for all these years. Hands of yours immediately went to grab him, lovingly tugging on him as you licked the palm of your hand and began to stroke him. Daemon groaned at the feeling.

“Fuck how I missed your hands,” he moaned as he moved to cover your body with his cock resting against your thigh. You felt the tip graze against your clit making the arousal in your body spill over, rushing through every fiber of you.

“Then show me how much you want me again Daemon, I am yours,” you stated, reaching up to pull his lips to yours again in a bruising kiss. He kissed you back with need and made quick work to move down your throat biting any flesh he could. You hissed in return loving how rough he could be. His tongue moved over every inch of your torso, his body sliding off the bed and onto the rug that laid beneath when you sat up, your chest heaving. You felt a rush of arousal pool to your center at his motivations, unsure if he was doing what whispers you heard of men and women doing together.

“My King, what are you doing?” You asked feeling tense. Daemon spread your thighs apart, sucking into your skin to leave a mark on each leg as he stared at your cunt. It glistened with wetness as his own desire was inside of his body at the sight of you.

“I told you when you were made Queen I would take your cunt into my mouth each night so you can finally cry out your King’s name properly. Besides, it’s not like that shell of your former husband would take care of you as I can,” he boasted, lifting a leg of yours onto his shoulder.

You felt a lump in your throat at the way his eyes bore into you and back at your center, wanting to consume your body and soul with such an act.

Before you could protest, Daemon carefully dragged a finger into your wet cunt with no resistance. You moaned in delight at the feeling, his finger finding its way in and out of you. Your head leaned back from pleasure you had received before he sped his movements and added a second finger to your body. Inside at just the right angle, he touched you with such ability you knew he was your king. Before you had become accustomed to his digits, you felt the wet sensation of his tongue on your clit as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you. Startled, your head shot up at the foreign feeling but cried out in delight, sitting up and taking a hold of his hair. He moaned into your cunt at the feeling of your hand gripping him.

“Like the finest of wines,” he said as he swirled his tongue on your clit. His sharp purple eyes observed your responses of his tongue as your breaths became more labored. Daemon knew you would hit your peak shortly.

The leg that leaned over Daemon’s shoulder began to twitch, your breath came out in pants as you began to feel that fire ignited pushing down before your body became flooded by your orgasm and crying out his name. You yanked on his hair urging him to stop but Daemon would not allow it, quickly removing his fingers and drinking from your cunt as if it was chalice. He held open your legs as you gripped harder and harder onto his perserated hair.

“Daemon please you need to stop,” you whined as you tried to push him off your body. Coming up for a breath, he smirked at you.

“I know you have another in you, you’re going to give it to your King,” he said, moving his body from his knelt position to cover your body. He snaked his thumb down to tease at your clit slowly to build momentum for you as you felt overly sensitive still. He calmed your nerves sealed with a kiss, his tongue sliding into your mouth. You moaned against him, your hands wrapped around his neck as you enjoyed the taste of yourself on your lips.

It was then Daemon removed his thumb and once again slid two digits into your entrance with little resistance. He stroked inside your walls hitting a spot you could not place inside your mind as he increased his speed.

“Fuck, oh fuck,” you whined, moving your lips from his. He watched your eyes close, mouth agape as his expertise never failed him before. He had done this hundreds of times with many women but it was only in this moment he cared about what you were feeling when your body surprised you with another shattering orgasm. This time it was heavier as you cried out and bucked your hips upwards spilling Daemon’s name from your lips as you soared above the skies as if you were a dragon yourself.

He watched you come back down from above as he bit at your shoulder and removed his fingers from you sliding them both into your mouth. You suckled with ease, a string of your juices pulled from a digit.

“Seven Gods my Queen, you are exquiste,” he praised, licking the rest off of his own fingers.

You made a small giggle in response.

“Are you convinced now that you had made the right choice instead of that fucking mess you once called a husband?” He bragged. You rolled your eyes and smiled.

“I think you need to remind me when you fuck me,” you purred as your head was still swimming from your orgasm.

“You would never have to ask, I will fuck you every day until the end of time,” he responded as he gathered some wetness from between your legs to coat his cock with. He groaned in response.

It was then you were not sure what Daemon was up to as you watched him reach over for the dagger to unsheath it above you. You swallowed now a bit nervous. He gripped the small blade between his palm as his face contorted for a moment in pain. Drops of blood spilled onto your chest as he smeared the liquid over your heart and pressed his thumb to your lower lip. The tang of iron was upon your tongue as you darted out to taste.

“Anogar ānograro,” he whispered as he pressed his cock inside of you to your surprise. You yelped at the pinch, his cock larger than your other husband’s was. The familiarity was lost upon you as he kissed you deeply, his tongue tasting his own blood as he began to rock his hips against you.

It was slow at first to help get you adjusted to his size before his cock felt like it had a mind of his own, skin slapping at force causing you to whine out. He watched you for a moment with serious eyes, his hand moving to press the skin of your cheek upwards as you wrapped your arms around his neck and wrapping your legs around his backside.

Daemon began to mutter something once again in a language unfamiliar to you as he moved his face to the fresh blood that laid above your heart, licking it up as you watched. Fresh arousal pooled at your cunt as you watched him do this, never thinking that this sight would make you wet.

“My King,” you cried out as Daemon bit a fresh mark into the now cleaned skin on your heart as his hand groped at your breast roughly, your necklace bouncing against your neck. You would not lie as you enjoyed the roughness of his pleasure upon you as Lord Cole was as quick as he was careless in the art of fucking.

“My Queen,” he responded with a groan as he pulled his cock from you and flipped you over at a lightning speed. He easily spread your legs as he towered over your form, slapping on your behind causing a sting with a hiss pulled from your lips. He pressed your head downwards to the soft bed, your face smushed as you inhaled the fabric as he once again slipped his cock into your warm cunt.

The position soon became your undoing as he fucked into you with swiftness chasing his own high. You moved your hand to your clit to touch as you had hoped pull a third orgasm of the night.

“You are a fever dream, fuck you look so good like this my Queen,” Daemon gritted through teeth. Your eyes were closed as you moaned with your finger rubbing at your body before you shot your head upwards.

“Daemon, I’m going to cum, cum with me, oh fuck please come with me,” you panted out. He moaned at the neediness of your voice, enough to easily spill his seed into you as he reached down to slap your hand away. You cried out in protest. He yanked at the braids in your hair for a moment that caused you to yelp and pull your head upwards.

“I don’t know if I’m quite ready for you to cum again,” he teased as he let go of your hair to hold your hips again. You huffed out and whined at the denial.

“I’m begging you my King, please fuckkkk,” you whimpered as your body ached to be free again. Your arousal sat on the edge of cliff ready to leap forwards as you turned your face to look back at him He looked good in control, sweat dripping down his forehead at he made eye contact with you. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion and pain.

“Be patient my love,” he said with a huffed breath before he quickly pulled your body flush upwards against his backside, his cock ramming up into your body. He held your breast in his hand as his fingers still covered in blood smeared upwards as he tugged on the jewels the hung from your neck.

Tears formed in your eyes at the pain of your body before you opened your mouth again.

“Let me cum and I will give you every child a King could ask for,” you promised him between pants. Daemon’s arousal at your plea was almost enough to make him cum but he held back.

“I know you will. You will bear to me sons as strong as any dragon alive and daughters with the fire in their souls as each Targaryen has brought into this world,” he gritted through his teeth. Your body was sticky with sweat as you whined again wanting the fire inside to be flushed out.

“Then let us cum together so it can happen, please, oh gods,” you pled before Daemon whispered in your ear to finally let go, moaning out his name with fresh tears flowing down your cheeks in relief as his own seed spilled upwards into your body, his cock now finally spent. He slowly unsheathed himself from your cunt as he kissed at your shoulder and kissed behind each ear.

“You did so well my darling,” he cooed, turning your body over to lay down on your back. He saw the mess of his cuml seep down your thigh, his softening cock twitching at the thought of having a babe grow inside of your body. He could not take the chance as his thumb pressed the mix of your cum and his back up into your fluttering enterance. You shuttered at the feeling, laying quietly as your breath was slightly labored from your shared activities.

Daemon pulled you up the bed to the comfortable pillows as you laid on his chest, his kisses covering your forehead.

“It was indescribable,” you said as you closed your eyes. Your body ached from soreness but you both easily fell asleep, no other words spoken between you both.

Hours later after you both had recovered and regained your strength, you made your way to Dragonstone’s throne, fucking for pleasure as you rode him in the middle of the night and sucking his cock as he professed his love to you but not before he tugged at your lips to open, spitting down your throat that you happily swallowed. He soon came into your mouth with his hot seed filling your mouth as he pulled at your braids.

“I am determined to fuck you on every table, chair and available surface of this castle,” Daemon said as he came inside of your cunt for the second time that evening.

You laughed.

“You can try Daemon,” you spoke as he held your chin between your fingers as he gazed down at your body. His heart was now full, the blood of dragons runneth over spilling into his body at the sight of you.

“I will never let you go again,” he murmured against your lips as he kissed you.

Now that you were in the arms of the King of Dragonstone, you had never felt more certain in this moment that you made the right decision as he cradled your body, kissing you with fire and strength of every dragon ever born.

“And you never will.”

Valyrian Translations:

Gīda gīda valītsos = Steady, steady boy

Iksā sir lēda nyke se iēdrosa ao vēdros nyke = You are now with me and still you hate me!

Ao jurnegon hae iā dream ñuha riña = You look as a dream my Lady

Iksā sir ānogar ānograro = You are now the blood of my blood

Anogar ānograro = Blood of my blood

So that was a fun ride eh? I hope you enjoyed it cause I sure as hell did! I'll probably write some more before the season is over but I really just wanted to get this mostly one shot out into the universe. A big thank you to all my readers and again to my beta reader @middimidoris

PS YES THE NECKLACE THING IS FROM TITANIC LIKE I COULDN'T HELP IT

Tag List: @middimidoris @acrossthesestars @phoebe-danvers

#daemon targaryen x you #daemon targaryen x reader #house of the dragon fan fic #house of the dragon #daemon targaryen #prince daemon targaryen

379 notes · View notes

ellesliterarycorner · 1 year

Text

Writing a Retelling

I used to not like reading or writing retellings, but I actually think that writing a retelling might be on my bingo card for 2023, so I decided to do some research on writing them and share it with y’all! I think the reason I used to dislike retellings was because they can go SO wrong, and they are really hard to write. But, the more I’ve looked into this, I’ve decided writing retellings is actually a really good exercise for writers. The world’s been around for so long that there are no completely new plots, and taking the essentials plots of one story and turning them into something new is a great exercise in the basics of plotting and understanding the nature of characters.

Back to the OG

Read the original story! That might seem like an obvious thing, but sometimes it doesn’t feel every author remembers to do this. If it’s a story you haven’t read since you were little, don’t rely on your memory, especially if its a story with a lot of different remakes. Are you writing a retelling of the Disney movie Cinderella or the original Greek folk tale? Spoiler alert, they are not the same. You can write a retelling of either, but you do need to decide early on which one you are doing and stay consistent to it. I also think rereading the original story will remind you why you decided to write a retelling. Something about the story you loved so much you wanted to bring to a new audience or maybe something that felt unfinished or unanswered, and you just had to finish it and find the answered.

Notes, Notes, Notes

I love taking notes, and I think that especially when writing a retelling copious notes are your best friend. Unfortunately, you aren’t going to be able to fit everything into your retelling, but writing notes on the most important things in the original story will help you have a guiding light and keep you organized. I would definitely recommend that you make a list of characters and their roles in the story. Are you keeping the same protagonist? Do you want to write from the antagonists point of view? Or give a side character their time to shine? I would also make a list of all of the settings in the story. Decide whether or not you’re keeping the same setting or revamping it for your story. Finally, make a list of all the major plot points. You’ll probably add more plot points into your story, but making sure that you know and understand the major plot points in the original story will help you as you’re writing.

Inspired By or Retelling?

This may just be a personal nit-picky, schematic thing, but imo, a book can be inspired by something without being a retelling. Point and case being my favorite book to bash: A Court of Thorns and Roses. People have stopped leaning on this as much as they used too (mostly because ACOTAR has been rebranded as adult), but when it first came out ACOTAR was very much marketed as a Beauty and the Beast retelling. Me personally, I did not realize it was supposed to be a retelling until one of my friends told me after I had read it. Now, that either means that I have a poor level of reading comprehension or that the book is not a very good retelling. Obviously, I don’t like one of those answers, so let us presume that ACOTAR is not a very good retelling. I would say agree that elements of it are inspired by Beauty and the Beast, but I do not think that it is a retelling. SJM fails to keep many of the major themes and motifs of Beauty and the Beast which I think are necessary elements to qualify under the label retelling.

But What’s the Twist???

Don’t be afraid to take risks and try new things when you write a retelling! Just because you’re writing a retelling doesn’t mean that you aren’t writing a story in your voice and your style of writing. Stay true to yourself, so long as you treat the original story with respect. A lot of retellings either give the story a new protagonist, a new setting, or set the story in a completely different genre. To get yourself going here are are a few questions to ask yourself after you’ve finished rereading the original story help you figure out what the twist of your retelling is going to be.

Which of these characters do you feel curious about?

Which of these characters is the most hated / misunderstood?

Which of these characters could have the most interesting growth / character transformation through the course of this story?

How would this setting affect the protagonist and the other main characters?

How would this setting affect the major conflict of the story?

How would this setting affect the themes of the original story?

Which themes would be preserved and which themes would no longer feel relevant?

Elle’s Retelling Recommendations

And of course, I had to end this with a few retellings recommendations! Reading other retellings and seeing what other authors did well or not well is a great way to sharpen your own skills.

Daughters of Sparta by Claire Heywood

I actually really liked this book, but I think its because even though I like Greek mythology, I admittedly am not the most knowledgable on the subject. I know the basics of Greek mythology, but unless something was blatantly wrong, I wouldn’t be able to tell. Apparently, this book had a lot of important Greek mythology plot points missing, but I thought it told the stories of Helen and Klytemnestra very well!

Circe and The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

I first read Circe for school, but I went back and read it a year or two ago. I vastly prefer Circe to Song of Achilles as I didn’t really like SoA all that much, but both are definitely retelling masterclasses. Madeline Miller is definitely the Queen of Greek mythology retellings.

Beautiful Little Fools by Jillian Cantor

This is one of my favorite books ever! I loved the Great Gatsby, and I am a Daisy Buchanan apologist. I love that this book fleshes out all of the female characters from the Great Gatsby, gives them proper back stories and answers one of the biggest questions from the original novel.

Starcrossed by Josephine Angelini

This book is not the best book, and I only recommend it because it is in my opinion how not to do a retelling or even an inspired by book. My friend group was obsessed with this book in middle school, and the best way I can describe it is if Percy Jackson and Twilight had a baby. Take that as you will.

#retellings #writing retellings #writing retelling #plotting #plot structure #writing #writing tip #writing tips #writing resources #writing resource #writing reference #writing references #writersofig #writersofinstagram #writers of ig #writers of instagram

207 notes · View notes

rosemaidenvixen · 1 year

Text

Tales of Arcadia fic recs-Rise of the Titans fix it edition

This project's been a long time coming and I'm super happy to finish at last. Here we have a compilation of written responses to the complete dumpster fire that was supposed to be the franchise finale for Tales of Arcadia. Now this is not a comprehensive list by any means, just a collection of my personal favorites and what I consider the best fix-it takes of Rise of the Titans, broken down into several categories.

Bits and Pieces-Not full fix its, but some short little one shots and alternate takes that make the worst parts of of RotT easier to swallow.

Let’s Try That Again-Jim uses the Krohnisfere only to go back to earlier parts of RotT, not the entire franchise.

Instinct of Self-Preservation-Undoes Strickler's pointless death and Jim doesn't go back in time.

Remembering and Honoring a Hero-In a world where the Krohnisfere doesn't exist, the city of Arcadia gathers to remember the fallen hero, Toby Domalski.

Hope Overture-Canon compliant Stricklake, in the new timeline Barbara and Strickler are hit with memories they shouldn't rightly have.

Technically canon compliant-These fics don’t contradict any of the events of RotT, rather pick up where RotT left off with the new timeline of Toby being the Trollhunter. In general I'm not a fan of this particular type of fic. RotT was such a mess all around I don't like the idea of building on it, but the stories below are exceptions for a reason. Not only do these fics work as continuations, each of them is enjoyable on their own merits.

Challenging Destiny @pinkytoothlesso11-Picks up where canon left off, but with the twist of Jim and Toby sharing the amulet as co Trollhunters. From there it grows to include wizards, changelings, and Akiridions working together to bring back magic and create a better future for all. Not only is this story fantastic as it navigates the benefits and pitfalls of knowledge of the future, but the buildup to an eventual post-Masquerade world is set up so well. And this might be a continuation of canon but don't let that fool you, this story never misses an opportunity to throw well deserved shade at the source material.

Trollhunters: Becoming yeeterparker-A fun, fast paced romp that has the characters using their knowledge of the future to speedrun though obstacles while flipping the baddies off on the way. And not only are they able to turn some foes into friends, but troll Jim is back and he's here to stay. All the character interactions are so warm and caring, showing their strong bonds with each other in a way RotT wishes it did.

Atlas through the aftermath @atlasthroughtheaftermath-Jim went back in time, but from the very first morning in the past everything starts going wrong. The amulet was never supposed to choose Toby. Now Jim is forced to walk the line between truth and lies in order to use his knowledge of the future to ensure a better outcome. But as things drift further and further from the timeline he knows he finds himself adrift in uncharted waters. If you like fics that go into all the nitty gritty details with heartbreakingly realistic fight scenes and depictions of armor/sword fighting, this is the fic for you.

RotT fix its-Just like it says on the tin folks, fics that are complete rewrites of Rise of the Titans. But with better characterization, plot points that aren't hamfisted, no time travel retcon; and most importantly, no Steve mpreg.

Rise of the Titans-Secundo Ire @nickelwick-Part two in a series already containing a fabulous Wizards rewrite. Follows the same events of Rise of the Titans, only with the characters actually acting in character. But with the twist of someone else wielding Excalibur, and Jim going through a magical problem of his own. Not only do these changes make for a very interesting read but every character, even the minor ones, is well fleshed out and true to their established characters. All coming together to create an incredible franchise finale.

Fall of the Titans @purplerose244 This one's more a character study than anything else, but holy hell what a character study! This story goes through and analyzes each character's perspective and journey as they struggle against the titans, with plenty of Akiridion worldbuilding and a very interesting twist on the Arcane order's lore, and who gets Excalibur. Salty about how Jim-centric RotT was and the lack of compelling character arcs? Give this a read.

Tales of Arcadia: The Final Becoming @nikibogwater-Rather than focusing on Jim, the main arcs center on Douxie and Nari's relationship, but without sidelining any of the other characters. A rewrite that's short and sweet that never fails to deliver an epic finale with a satisfying conclusion.

The Eternal Day:Tales of Arcadia @rikalovesrice-An epic rewrite that really delivers on the promise to unite the worlds of trolls, aliens, and wizards. Along with some fascinating original lore and some killer redesigns of the Titans themselves (art on author's tumblr). Takes the bare bones of RotT and builds an incredible story on them. Brilliantly weaving the worlds of trolls, Akiridions, and wizards together all leading up to a final battle of epic magical proportions and a brave new world on the other side.

Entire series rewrites-Kind of a cheat category, which is why it's the largest, in that technically none of these fics are RotT rewrites. They're au takes on canon, and many of them were well in progress before RotT was released. Some haven't been updated in a while and some are on full blown hiatus, but they're all worth a read and all have been confirmed by the authors that they will be concluding differently than RotT does.

Becoming the Mask @magic-and-moonlit-wings-Possibly one of the most well known fics in the TOA fandom, and for darn good reason. Starts at the very beginning of Trollhunters with the premise, what if Jim was a changeling all along? Not a half-changeling or a sleeper agent, but a full blown self aware member of the Janus Order. An excellent highly detailed read, juggles a large cast of complex characters, and subtly addresses plot holes as they come along with care and attention.

What the Night Brings @blund3r-bust3r-When Jim has a chance encounter with a creature of the night he barely escapes with his life. Now less than human himself, he's introduced to a vast world below his feet full of danger and wonder, and sets churning gears that have been spinning for centuries. A wonderfully dark, fantastical au that stays true to a lot of existing TOA lore while still being very much its own story.

Sunshine through the Clouds aka shameless self promotion @rockymaidenvixen-Through events neither fated nor accidental, at five years old Jim Lake starts transforming into a troll with each sunset, and back into a human at sunrise. An ability both a gift and a curse that he carries with him through his childhood into adolescence. Changing nothing and everything once he's chosen as the Trollhunter (more about this au under the tag "sunshine au" on my blog).

Tulips of Time @avirxy-Starts with the events of Wizards, but with two major twists. Toby falls through the time rift with the rest of the gang, and Claire's the one with a shard of evil in her heart. Really this story does the trio's characters justice in a way Wizards wishes it did. The trio struggles to make their way in Camelot and find their way back to the future, but medieval Camelot is a harsh time for trolls and humans alike, with the line between good and evil getting blurrier by the day. And their greatest threat may just come from within.

A Brief Reliving of Troll Lore @i-am-gun-robot-This one's just getting started, and hasn't been updated in a long time, but is definitely worth a read. Did you enjoy Wizards but hate what it did for the overall TOA continuity? Then this is the fic for you. A very different take on Camelot of the past, with worldbuilding that can be dark, but is so very rich and nuanced.

Blue Moon Rising @tunafishprincess-On indefinate hiatus, but definitely worth a read. A half changeling Jim au with a dark twist. What if Jim was stolen from Barbara and found by the Janus order, and raised by the top changeling himself under the new name Atlas. Atlas though his fate was certain, but then on his first real mission a certain amulet calls a hauntingly familiar name.

Self Determination @appendingfic-A completed series rewrite that diverges from canon very early on. It starts with the premise, what if the Trollhunter was always human? Spinning out and crossing over with multiple other properties colliding on an epic scale. To say any more would spoil some of the truly earth shattering twists and turns this story has going for it. For those put off by all the crossovers this is a Tales of Arcadia story more than anything else, and you can still follow along and get fully immersed without knowing anything about the other properties tied into it.

You can check out my original TOA fanfic rec list here, and @feather-dancer has made several much more comprehensive fic rec lists all compiled here.

#tales of arcadia #rott fix it #toa rise of the titans #rott salt #fic rec list #fanfic masterlist #fic rec #toa fic rec #masterlist #trollhunters rise of the titans #rise of the titans

107 notes · View notes

kattythingz · 2 days

Text

YJ x FMA Pt. 3

Yeaaaaah, I couldn't resist.

I've already made my bed with this one, man. I might as well commit to the bit lmao. This au has been incredibly self-indulgent so far and I'm honestly digging it.

New folks, the main gist of the au is explained in part 1, so direct all your confusion there first :P

🧡 Pt. 1 💛 Pt. 2 🤍

“Holy fucking shit! Are you serious?!”

Ling could hardly contain his grin when Ed exclaimed in what could only be described as sheer scientific euphoria. Kaldur and Artemis let out similar snorts of amusement behind Ling and M’gann outright giggled as Ed ran up to Ship, the previous rush of getting to their escape point completely forgotten in favor of gawking starry-eyed at the majestic aircraft. His arms hovered back-and-forth with a familiar excitement to reach out and touch, before he inevitably caved.

“Holy shit,” Ed repeated, reverent as he brushed a hand over Ship’s indulgent surface. “I knew it. I’m dreaming. I got shocked one too many times and I passed out—”

Ling really couldn’t help the overflowing bubbling of laughter from his chest. It caught Ed’s shining gaze as he pivoted with one hand kept on Ship, the other flinging to jab at Ling. “Tell me I’m dreaming, Ling! Tell me right now!”

“Dude, how old are you again?” Wally chortled, though not cruelly, Ling noted with approval. He would’ve had words to emphasize with his sword if any one of his friends demeaned Ed’s bliss. “It’s like you’ve never seen an airship before. Ship’s pretty plain-looking as far as those go, you know—”

Ship made a beeping noise of protest, and Ed yelped, turning like he could pinpoint the source. Which, now that Ling thought about it—

“Hold on,” Ed said, lightning-struck, and touched his second hand to Ship again. “Hold on. Is this thing—?”

“Alive?” Ling said amusedly, and Ed whirled on him. “I believe ‘sentient’ is the more accurate term M’gann used, but—”

“Shut up!” Ed beamed, and Great Dragon on Ling’s heart—

He’d missed this sight something awful.

The rest of the team were clearly just as endeared. Especially M’gann, as she beamed right back, saying, “Thank you! Ship says she likes you too.”

“‘Ship’?” Ed said. He startled when Ship opened her hatch suddenly. Gently, though Ed didn’t know it. Ling read the moment for him and set a prompting hand on the small of Ed’s back with a tilt of his head, and Ed didn’t waste a second. He climbed slowly up the ramp, like he thought his footsteps could hurt Ship.

The team took their seats easily except for M’gann, who spun in the air to smile at Ed and say, “This is Ship! She’s a friend, even though she might not look it immediately. She’s just as much a member of this team as all of us. Isn’t that right, girl?”

Lights flickered along the side in eager answer, and Ed tracked the reaction greedily. Ling could already see the cogs turning behind those eyes, and the sight warmed his heart beyond comprehension.

“Here,” Ling laughed, pulling Ed back down to Earth and coaxing him by the hand to a vacant corner with two seats, no doubt provided by Ship’s thoughtfulness. Ed followed his second cue to sit, eyes still high above the ground as he took in the finer mechanics.

“Alright,” M’gann announced with noticeable cheer, finally at her seat at the helm. “Everyone strapped in? Sorry, Ed, this might feel a little weird at first.”

“Wha—?”

Ed cut off when Ship began lifting. He let out a yelp when the distance really grew, wobbling on instinct and hands shooting to grip the seat arms.

Ling remembered how strange the first fly had been on him too. He set an anchoring hand over Ed’s, catching the slightest fear in those eyes and smiling.

“Relax,” Ling told him quietly, to avoid embarrassing Ed with a spectacle. Judging by Ed’s rapid glance in his direction, the gesture was appreciated. “Your ears might ‘pop’ in a second from the air pressure, and it’ll feel uncomfortable for a while after, but you’re otherwise fine.”

“Did someone else tell you that?” Ed said between a grimace. His hands kept taut for a moment as Ship caught a steady pace, before he relaxed under Ling’s hand.

He let out an exhale, casting Ling a smile that time. “That sounds like the sort of talk you’d ask me to repeat ten thousand times for you instead.”

“Rude!” Ling gasped—to no avail. He’d smiled too wide again. “I learned a few things while you were gone, you know. A year’s a long time.”

Ed’s eyes sparkled in the literal changed atmosphere between them now. “Really? Then how’d you end up here immediately?”

“I had a moment of regression. You know how I get when I’m hungry.”

Ling was rewarded with a brilliant laugh for that.

He completely understood when the sound drew several eyes back to them as well, and there was a pause as the team considered the two of them.

Artemis eventually broke the silence.

“So,” she started with an imperceptible smirk, crossing her legs and leaning back in her seat. “Ling’s infamous fiance.”

“Unfortunately,” Ed said.

The easy humor shifted something in the atmosphere, and faster than anyone could grin, Wally blurted, “What was that you did with the walls? I’ve never seen any earth powers that spontaneous before!”

“Yeah! What kind of power was that?” Robin leaned forward—sounding like his age, to Ling’s relief. Though Robin was undoubtedly much younger than Ling, he so often behaved like, well… Ed and Ling, back in their own teenagehood. This was a nice change. This was good. “You covered all that mass in, like, one motion. And you knew exactly where it would stop.”

Perhaps it was the nerves from being mass-stared at from all corners, but Ed flushed at the admiration. “Oh, well…” He cleared his throat. “That was pretty basic from me, really. I’d usually go for something louder, but I wasn’t sure entirely what was under the walls… It was better safe than sorry in the moment.”

“You couldn’t tell from a touch?” Ling furrowed his brow.

“Not completely.” Ed shook his head. “I had an innate understanding, but I couldn’t put a name to… a lot of the things.” He cast Ship a grimacing onceover. “But I guess I’ll have to get used to that.”

“So that is part of your power?” Kaldur asked, because, naturally, he couldn’t resist his curiosity either. Though his was more tempered. “You understand the components of the earth, and mold it?”

Ed blinked at the astute observation.

“That’s… exactly it, actually,” he said slowly. “I’m surprised you got it in one go…”

“Well,” Ling said, never one to miss a chance with a sly grin, “he is the esteemed leader around here.”

Ever since Ling had learned the team’s average age, he’d made it his life mission, while he was here, to soften them all to act their ages more often. Kaldur, in particular, was a tougher target on par with Artemis, but he, too, had a weakness. Recognizing his competence, for one. Recognizing his competence as leader, for two.

Ed clocked that in an instant, bless his perceptiveness, and he nodded easily. “Yeah, makes sense.”

Kaldur wavered. “You—can tell such a thing?”

“Sure. You’ve got the eye and attitude for it. And you sound a lot like a certain someone.” Ed cast Ling a sideways glance, and Ling pulled his most gracious face. Ed rolled his eyes back to Kaldur. “Next thing you’re gonna tell me, you’re a prince too.”

Wally immediately burst out laughing. “You got it in one! No way!”

“Well, not exactly on the nose,” Robin hummed. “But definitely close enough.”

Kaldur was far too well-mannered to gape, but he most certainly stared at Ed. “How—?”

“Like I said,” Ed snorted, but his grin was genuine as gold, “it’s obvious.”

Kaldur ducked his head, hiding that successful blush under a hand rubbing his neck. “That praise might be undue for the time being. I have only been in this position for a few months. But… thank you.”

And that, too, was a sight Ling had missed. The way Ed positively melted at the image of these kids, walking in shoes too big for their feet but filling the mold so well, for better and for worse.

Ling had a great feeling about this world, suddenly.

#if you noticed superboy has been silent for the scene that was intentional #I have a separate scene in mind for when he and Ed specifically bond #fuck this au is getting fun #fma #young justice #edling #edward elric #ling yao #dick grayson #kaldur'ahm #m'gann m'orzz #wally west #yj x fma #crossover #fanfiction

7 notes · View notes

harumybeloved · 2 years

Text

why is sanzu like that?

i’ll try my best to explain his behavior and some potential reasons behind his actions

no, he’s not a psychopath

no, i don’t think he has stockholm syndrome

no, it’s not bpd (imo)

i really hope this entire post makes sense (well if it doesn’t lmk)

welcome to my autistic sanzu agenda lol

disclaimer 1: i’m not really used to writing character analysis, i only know how to write random research papers for school so i apologize in advance lol pls forgive me but this post is probably going to sound like i’m rambling a lot + punctuation is my worst enemy

disclaimer 2: this post isn’t me diagnosing him with autism or any other disorder. it was never officially stated that sanzu is autistic. this is purely my own personal speculation + understanding of his character + some observations

disclaimer 3: i was diagnosed with hfa+adhd, keep that in mind; i could be projecting and it’s entirely possible that this whole post is just my exceptionally elaborate hc lol

disclaimer 4: this may not be in chronological order i’m also not the best writer :/ + i’m still editing this sometimes

‣ his “questionable” behavior lol

link to the original translation

strange and/or unconventional behavior is a common symptom of autism as it is strictly correlated with the absence of social awareness because who in their right mind would do that.

Autism spectrum disorder is primarily characterized by impaired social interaction and limited social-emotional reciprocity. This impairment goes well beyond poor social skills and being socially awkward. Children with autism spectrum disorder tend to have a disconnection in their response to others.

(...)

In general, these children are described as very socially and emotionally withdrawn, and “being in their own little world.”

from here

A social norm generally refers to something that society or culture renders “normal.” Everyone is expected to automatically understand and adhere to these unwritten rules, and diverging from the “norm” may be considered “abnormal.”

(...)

An example of a social norm in the United States is that avoiding eye contact is often interpreted as evasive, nervous, odd, or “shifty.” As autistic folks often avoid eye contact, neurotypical people may interpret their behavior as going against the “norm.”

from here

While most people can navigate these changing expectations, some individuals with autism and Asperger’s Syndrome struggle with them constantly. These individuals may have difficulties reading social situations or knowing what type of behavior is expected in certain circumstances.

from here

anyway; it’s also important to note here that people on the spectrum tend to absorb most information not in a figurative way, but rather in simple terms

Autistic people seem to take everything literally.

(...)

Autistic brains, however, don’t automatically group anything together, and instead file everything as a separate piece of information with no apparent similarity to anything else

Well, first it’s important to recognize that it doesn’t come from a lack of understanding of what’s being said to them, but from a difference in processing the information they’re taking in.

from here

let’s say, hypothetically, for the sake of the argument, that haru is on the spectrum. there’s probably a really simple but logical thought process going on in his mind.

mucho (the captain) has certain enemies, he also doesn’t have that much hair on his head lol but his enemies do. so why not beat them up and forcefully take their hair and offer it to mucho as a gift. he’s probably going to think wow what a kind gesture, right???

People with an autism spectrum disorder think in a logically consistent way that leads to quick decision making.

from here

tldr; imo he didn’t know it was a weird thing to do and that he shouldn’t have done that. it was probably beyond his comprehension. that’s why he thinks captains are difficult; there’s a disconnect and lack of awareness.

side note: whatever haru did above here just screams autistic child without the appropriate guidance to me (somebody that’s also on the spectrum)

side note2: this dude literally fights with a fucking katana. he could’ve chosen anything but thought that a katana would be the most suitable weapon of choice to slaughter other teenagers in september of 2008 ....ok..

‣ this very specific interaction with baji in cb3

this was haru’s interaction with baji at some point. keep in mind that they were childhood friends or best friends, they always hung out together. it’s safe to assume that baji knew haru pretty well.

now.. (yes i know) baji saying that haru has always been weird isn't concrete evidence to support my theory.

HOWEVER ,,imo wakui shows us a lot of things intentionally, he could’ve included some other interaction with somebody else but he didn’t. why? maybe because this is supposed to help us understand haru more and give his character more depth.

ok so let’s dissect this. haru asks baji about something really simple/usual, something that's already really fucking random but ok people talk about those things right? haru also decides to ask baji at the weirdest time possible. baji literally just announced that he’s leaving a gang that he formed and haru’s like yes this is the perfect moment to ask him about his haircare routine <3 lol

Individuals on the autism spectrum often have difficulty recognising and understanding social cues and therefore do not instinctively learn to adjust their behavior to suit different social contexts.

from here

u could probably say that oh well baji is just like that, he would say something like that at any given moment. and yes he is (or should i say was lol) chaotic but nevertheless it’s a really random thing to ask at a really random, inappropriate moment and baji kind of pointed that out but again haru wouldn’t know if he was actually somewhere on the spectrum.

as i said before, i do think that how the characters communicate and what kind of words they use in certain situations is supposed to give us some insight into their personalities. with that said, it kind of stuck out to me when baji called him weird and his only response was i see thanks. my personal reasoning here suggests that some people would probably get agitated when called weird but idk.

so now it’s possible that 1. he’s fully aware of what baji called him but doesn’t care and/or is used to being called weird (which again most autistic kids are used to) or 2. such ”insults” rarely evoke a response because he has a hard time recognizing irony (i don’t think the word weird is generally speaking an extraordinarily disrespectful insult when used among friends but maybe that’s just me idk)

Verbal irony can serve many social functions: Speakers can temper the aggression conveyed by criticism, or praise conveyed by a compliment (the Tinge Hypothesis), while bringing humor to a situation. A full understanding of ironic language requires one to make complex inferences about speaker intent, a task that can be challenging for individuals with ASDs who might have difficulties with mentalizing in social contexts or with the interpretation of ambiguous stimuli.

from here

side note: i think it’s so adorable that he actually said “i’m going to miss u”. he didn’t have to, although that’s a completely reasonable thing to say in such situations. this isn’t really related to my theory about him potentially being on the spectrum but it’s such a cute little detail. i think it ties more to the theory that at the end of the day he’s a kindhearted person that’s “gone bad” due to unfortunate circumstances and the environment he grew up in. again, wakui didn’t have to include this line because well they’re gang members, idk if i should expect them to be verbally affectionate but they’re also kids dealing with complex issues so it’s not that surprising to see this if that makes sense. toman haru is so different from bonten sanzu for obvious reasons imo it’s self explanatory

‣ takeomi’s treatment & its possible implications

i will not be judging takeomi’s parenting skills because he wasn’t supposed to end up in that position in the first place but like come on.. he put so much pressure on haru (could be completely unintentionally yk he had his own shit to deal with). i don’t speak japanese and maybe it was originally worded differently but based on this english translation, it’s so obvious that takeomi just really harshly criticized haru for making mistakes (and for not doing the best job at something he’s not responsible for and has no prior experience with)..... why not tell him what to say instead or idk do anything other than just basically saying u are doing it wrong fuck u. there’s just so much wrong with the way takeomi communicates with him idek if i should go any further, this seems self explanatory. he just keeps criticizing him instead of like teaching him or providing some kind of guidance at least idfk

some might say here that maybe it was just this one time that he scolded him for not properly raising his younger sister at the ripe age of 10 years old or sth but imo wakui included this for a reason, to tell a story and show us that it was probably a repeating pattern

and now we’re here. clearly haru doesn’t take takeomi’s criticism well (which was honestly expected from a literal child). he doesn’t understand any of it and why he is blamed for everything.

personally, i think this really fucked with him on a subconscious level (because.. yk ..those topics can be quite incomprehensible for 4th graders that just learned multiplication). hearing all the time that u keep doing things wrong and that it's your responsibility which u should've known somehow from somewhere?

ok this sounds like i’m excessively explaining the tremendously concerning and detrimental effects of child abuse so why am i even including this in a post about asd? well..

Many autistic people are highly sensitive to criticism, even more so than most people in general are. For many of us this may be due, at least in part, to childhood trauma. Many of us were bullied. Even among those of us with relatively non-traumatic childhoods, most of us grew up being criticized and corrected a lot more than most kids are. Many of us live in constant dread of doing something wrong. Many of us have developed a deep emotional need to be "right" at all times.

from here

lol does this sound familiar?

imo what and how takeomi talked to haru made him internalize this idea that whatever he does is wrong and that he should always do better. i included this quote here because (at least from my personal experience) people that are on the spectrum always just have “something wrong with them” and always just should “try harder” to be “normal”. (not my opinion btw, this is just what we constantly hear from allistics).

i guess it’s not that weird to say that well maybe if haru didn’t actually do anything wrong, then he shouldn’t be stressed about getting scolded because again, he’s innocent right? well i’m gonna have to disagree

kids are kids and their brains are still in the early stages of development; let’s assume that an adult (or a parental figure that holds some kind of authority to whom a child looks up) keeps telling said child that they are doing something incorrectly, eventually they will start believing it regardless of the actual circumstances.

autistic people tend to be more sensitive to criticism for obvious reasons as mentioned above so harsh (and unreasonable i’d say) criticism is probably going to affect them to a larger extent

he’s just scared and confused; (also potentially physical) abuse is not a concept that’s particularly difficult to understand

so let’s say, hypothetically speaking, for the sake of the argument lol that haru is somewhere on the spectrum and is already struggling with being somewhat different than most kids. it’s enough for a child to feel inferior and then there’s also takeomi adding even more pressure, basically triggering those very specific emotions.

we can see that this entire situation (and the cause of it) is beyond his comprehension. haru doesn’t understand why but he now knows that somehow it’s always his fault because he always does things wrong. that is a lot to take in for any kid, especially those who are on the spectrum.

my personal take on why he can’t talk back to takeomi: he was already conditioned to think that whatever he does will never be enough or satisfactory which has already affected his self esteem. let’s say, hypothetically speaking, u think that u always do everything wrong and somebody (wrongfully) accuses u of something really random... u probably aren't going to argue with them and will most likely say something like “yeah nothing new honestly” instead. bad example ik but i think that’s where haru was at in this chapter; he already felt worthless and scared in 4th grade, at the age of like 10. that’s so young to feel that way and it breaks my heart ://

Many people with autism experience a triad of trauma: neglect at home, abuse from trusted adults and bullying at school or work.

(...)

Studies suggest that children on the spectrum are up to three times as likely as their neurotypical peers to be targets of bullying and physical or sexual abuse. Such maltreatment can cause severe stress and trauma, yet it often goes unrecognized or unreported.

from here

we can already see that possibly around that time, he’s already begun isolating himself from others or at least developed some kind of subconscious tendency to stay away from them (as a self defense mechanism). i assume his 10 year old brain correlated abuse with just simply existing around others

i think it wouldn’t be surprising if that reasoning stuck with him throughout his entire life as the human brain technically remains in the developmental stage until mid to late 20s.... and below is even proof

anyway moving on; due to the fact that people on the spectrum are much more likely to experience any type of abuse, it’s not that uncommon for exploitation to take place.

up until this point, we’ve established that

haru was already struggling with his self esteem and possibly feeling inferior to some degree in his childhood (which by itself could make him a target of exploitation) but also

the possibility of him being on the spectrum can most definitely increase the chances of him being abused and used by others as described below

Neglect in particular is a problem for children with autism, as well as for those with intellectual disability. Neglect is the most common type of maltreatment documented by child protective services.

(...)

Autistic children are also vulnerable to physical abuse. Primary caregivers in the immediate family are the most common perpetrators of the abuse, but a broader range of offenders — including family members, babysitters and childcare providers — may be more likely to target children with autism or intellectual disability than other children.

from here

TW // disclaimer: the following part mainly illustrates the correlation between sa and autism. based solely on the manga and the direction in which it’s going, i personally wouldn’t say that haru is clearly a victim of sa (although technically it’s still possible) but imo there’s not enough factual evidence to prove this kind of speculation.

i included the following part because it’s extremely relevant to this context and what i’m about to go over next

In addition to difficulty with emotional processing, children with autism may encounter communication challenges that may make them particularly desirable targets of sexual offenders because of the perception that they would be unable to disclose the abuse. Research indicates that up to 50% of children with autism are functionally nonverbal.

from here

ok well u may be wondering why am i even including this if i don’t suspect sa in haru’s case. i think this explanation thoroughly demonstrates how and why autistic kids are more likely to be subjected to exploitation. with that said, kids on the spectrum sometimes may not be aware of what is going on and why it’s harmful to them (that happened to me SO many times but it’s besides the point).

it’s entirely possible that mikey is well aware of haru’s idolatry towards him (stemming from autism or not) and decides to utilize it to his own personal advantage. this panel can literally imply that haru is being used like a disposable tool to do all the dirty work. which again, happens to so many autistic kids as they’re not aware of what exactly is going on.

i wouldn’t even be surprised if haru was happy about the fact that mikey asked him to do all the work, because he would never even consider exploitation. why? because he wouldn’t want to do that to mikey as he cares for him deeply i assume

The ability to discern other's intentions, desires and beliefs is called "theory of mind" and typically develops at about age 4 or 5, according to the study.

In a classic example, a child is shown two dolls, "Sally" and "Anne." The experimenter puts on a skit in which Sally puts a marble in a basket. While Sally isn't looking, Anne moves the marble from the basket to a box. The experimenter asks the child where Sally will look for the marble when she returns.

Knowing that Sally will look in the basket requires understanding that others have beliefs that may differ from our own.

Previous studies have shown that children with autism develop this ability later than other children, if ever, Young said.

from here

keep in mind that haru always ranks lower than mikey; after toman disbands, haru is always directly below mikey. he’s basically his right hand aka does most if not all of the dirty work for him. it’s also highly likely that he puts himself in that position willingly because at the end of the day, he wants to help mikey and do what’s best for him

we were also explicitly shown that he continues to do so in every timeline, including bonten, where he kills people on mikey’s command, for instance

it’s entirely possible that it’s a huge stretch here since he’s the “loyal mad dog” and such behavior can be most definitely expected from haru. nevertheless i think it’s an undeniably interesting detail that gives some insight into mikey’s and haru’s relationship which conveniently bring us to the next part

‣ haru, mikey and baji & the unfolding of their friendship

according to senju in chapter 240, they “were always together back then”. we know that senju may not be the most reliable narrator but

if she “always” followed them around then i guess she had a somewhat clear picture of what their dynamic looked like at that time, right?

basically we don’t really know what happened to their friendship later. we know that it’s possible that mikey was responsible for haru’s scars or was at least somehow involved in the process. it’s also entirely possible that this situation traumatized all 3 of them and caused them to drift away from each other? maybe but this is just my personal theory and i have no evidence to support this claim. so let’s stick to the manga

keep this in mind:

Physical attacks by peers may leave autistic children with wounds on their faces, shoulder displacements and large scratches on their body.

from here

we still don’t know what exactly happened and why (haru’s pov is long overdue atp) but why was it haru that got his entire fucking mouth ripped open by another middle schooler? why not baji for example (since he was also there)? idk seems oddly specific

i tried to compartmentalize all those events and make some kind of a timeline. they were around 10 years old at that time, so chapter 241 probably happened in 2000.

2000 and prior: mikey, baji and haru are best friends

2000: mikey hurts haru

2001/ 5th grade: mikey becomes best friends with draken

2003: toman is formed. mikey, baji and draken are included in the group of the founding members

where the fuck is haru? and what happened to him?

ok so toman was formed and haru stuck around somewhere in the background but was never included in anything major. it looks like him and mikey were still on decent terms i guess? but they didn’t spend that much time together anymore. otherwise it would be shown in the manga i assume. but it wasn’t....

it seems like mikey gave haru those scars and then everybody just moved on? completely ditching him and forming a gang? ://

idk but to me at least, it looks like they kind of abandoned haru because he was somewhat different. this could relate to how baji always considered him to be weird for whatever reason or the humongous scars on his face lol or both.

imo there’s enough evidence for me to think that he was pushed to the back and completely forgotten by his closest friends. mikey and baji found new ones and what about him? we don’t know why yet but it’s just such a common thing that happens to so many autistic kids. brushed aside because they’re different for whatever reason.

It can sometimes be difficult to feel like you ‘fit in’ or to find your place in the world. Because of this, many autistic people can end up being socially isolated and lonely.

from here

Autistic young people are often misunderstood by non-autistic young people, and this can lead to difficulties in their friendships. We know that friendship is very important for our mental health. For non-autistic young people, having good friendships is linked to better mental health and having problems in friendship can cause mental health problems.

from here

Children with ASD have difficulty with social interaction behaviors, including establishing and maintaining relationships, reciprocating social interaction, and communicating with others.

from here

haru baby he’s your childhood friend too, isn’t he? :((

ok so basically to summarize whatever i wrote here up until this point. his friend(s) see him as weird which means that he fails to fit in (does something wrong again). then takeomi nags him about not raising senju properly (so again, he fails to do something correctly). it seems like he always does everything wrong no matter what he does or where he goes.

dude i’d leave home too. haru’s childhood was probably a living hell

‣ haru’s odd placement in panels/official art

draken’s flashback before he died. it’s just so bizarre to me that he’s always there but in the background, pushed aside. it’s possible that draken just wasn’t close friends with haru but if that’s true then why is he even here?

again, in the background. i feel like him being there in the back is supposed to show us that he was always somehow involved but was more of a supporting character. but like... he literally killed mucho in this volume so it’s not like he had no impact on the story’s trajectory.

yes i know that he was on the inside cover but still

there’s mikey, baji, emma and where’s haru? it looks like they were still kids here and apparently they were childhood friends with haru too ... so? could be a reach but like baji isn’t a part of the sano family and he’s there ..

hm maybe haru was constantly excluded (to some extent) from the very beginning, it’s just that senju didn’t mention it or wasn’t fully aware of what was going on

side note: draken and mucho are dead, they also have their backs turned kind of like like pah, peh and haru *sobbing intensifies* anyway

is haru oddly placed here? maybe, idk, not really but everybody’s near somebody they’re close to. takemitchi & hina, emma & draken, peh & pah, mikey & baji, chifuyu & baji, mitsuya & yuzuha, mitsuya & draken and the kawata twins. the only ones that seem out of place are kazutora, hakkai, mucho and haru.

i have no idea wtf kazutora is doing tbh but he’s affiliated with mikey who saved him from his dad the day they met or sth and baji is there so it makes sense + toman was formed to protect kazutora and mikey is its leader.

hakkai is randomly placed too but him and mikey have some history together.

technically mucho was a part of toman, he was the 5th division captain after all and we know that he was close with smiley who was the 4th division captain. so yes, he played a significant role in toman but imo tenjiku arc was supposed to show us that at the end of the day, his loyalty belonged to the s62 generation. well he even told us this

and then there’s haru, completely alone :( idek if he knows the kawata twins or yuzuha. technically wakui could’ve put him next to mucho (that would make a lot of sense) but i think this is supposed to show us that even though they were seemingly close, they were still very much far away from each other (emotionally). although mucho attempted to reduce that distance (cb3) idk if he was able to see any satisfactory results before haru killed him (which imo was a subconscious self defense reaction that mostly stemmed from what i’m explaining in this post)

tldr; imo all of this is supposed to show us that no matter what haru does, at the end of the day he will always remain in the background, pushed aside, forgotten or in the shadows of his other friends possibly because of the way that he is. abandoned and left to deal with everything alone.

‣ haru being a “clean freak”

i’ve seen a lot of people say he has ocd and huge disclaimer here, i’m not saying that all autistic people have raging ocd but like such behaviors tend to be present in people on the spectrum

Autism and obsessive-compulsive disorder frequently accompany each other.

(...)

Studies indicate that up to 84 percent of autistic people have some form of anxiety; as much as 17 percent may specifically have OCD. And an even larger proportion of people with OCD may also have undiagnosed autism, according to one 2017 study.

from here

i mean do i even have to explain this one?

Other symptoms that are present include restrictive, repetitive patterns of behaviors, or narrow and/or atypical interests. They may have inflexible adherence to routines, difficulty with transitioning, ritualized speech or behavior, and exhibit sensory processing difficulties.

from here

Many autistic people experience hypersensitivity (...). Certain sounds, smells, textures and tastes can also be overwhelming.

from here

haru just has sensory issues and is probably unaware of that :/

side note: listen this may sound like a huge stretch (and it probably is) apparently ever since mucho got him cheesecake in an attempt to get closer to him and basically make him more comfortable, he’s been a cheesecake enjoyer lol. now obviously, he likes cheesecake because it reminds him of the unconditional love, acceptance and sympathy that mucho offered him. it probably reminds him of how wholesome that entire situation was because it’s likely that he was never approached by anybody with pure intentions before.

but it’s just so interesting that wakui chose cheesecake, a plain dessert that doesn’t have any weird texture and is probably very much suitable for people on the spectrum. idk if this was intentional, probably not, but still it’s so interesting how everything seems to be adding up lol

on top of that haru literally dislikes spicy food .. come on now ..

‣ hyperfixating on mikey: his primary motivation

....i guess his sensory issues could also explain this panel but it’s kinda obvious that he’s obsessed with mikey for some reason that we don’t know about yet.

again, obv there’s definitely much more to this story that would explain his behavior without mentioning any neurodevelopmental disorders but imo he’s just hyperfixating on mikey.

it’s not bpd/psychopathy/stockholm syndrome; he’s just a neurodivergent kid with issues

It is a kind of extreme fixation on a certain show, person, or thought. It is a kind of coping mechanism for people suffering from anxiety disorders, depression, and autism. Hyperfixation can last for years.

from here

and mikey is probably his “favorite person” (no, this isn’t only reserved for bpd; various symptoms of both disorders overlap actually; they’re different disorders regardless).

i don’t even know where bpd came from, like haru just doesn’t display that many symptoms that are commonly associated with bpd which is primarily characterized by evident (and repeating) behavioral patterns.

Therefore, both individuals with BPD and individuals with autism may have challenges in social relationships but for different reasons. Those with autism may prefer to be alone or cannot read others’ emotions, while those with BPD are more likely to experience extreme emotions and impact their relationships because of it.

from here

i’m just trying to analyze his behavior in accordance with the manga without making additional assumptions and again, the evidence to support such a claim is insufficient.

side note: it’s so ironic that this type of hyperfixation can be “often described as "tunnel vision"

Autistic brains are often really good at focusing deeply on one thing at a time; they may struggle to split attention between topics. ‘Hyperfixation’ is being completely immersed in something to the exclusion of everything else. It's more common in autistic people and can be a great asset. In this state a great deal of learning, productivity and appreciation can take place. When hyperfixating it’s important to take time to look after your basic needs, and it can be difficult when other people or responsibilities seek your attention.

from here

he explicitly states here that he made consistent and persistent efforts just to make sure that the further course of his action was going to be meticulously planned. why? because mikey is concerned with the outcome so obv haru is going to do absolutely everything and anything to succeed

unlike a psychopath, he’s not driven by personal desires; he’s not doing that because he feels like it and/or because it’s fun. he’s doing whatever it takes to satisfy mikey, his “king”

it’s not stockholm syndrome either because

In these instances, the captors use emotional tactics to convince victims to sympathize with them and comply with their demands. This can involve convincing victims that the outside world is more dangerous than staying with their captors or persuading victims that the kidnapper is a victim, too.

from here

and we have not seen that in the manga

This makes victims feel like they are unable to escape from their situation, which is why people with Stockholm Syndrome stay with their captors.

from here

haru never seems scared around mikey; if anything, he’s fascinated by him and excited to see what he’s going to do next.. why? bc he’s simply hyperfixated

my personal take on why he’s so intrigued by mikey’s dark impulses: we’ve established here that haru grew up feeling weak and possibly inferior; he wasn’t as strong as others. so when mikey hurt him in 4th grade (mikey was just another lil kid, they were the same age), that’s probably when haru realized or noticed how strong mikey actually was/still is. maybe he even started looking up to him

from a logical point of view, i don’t think it was weird of him to stay by mikey’s side. it reminds me of why koko stayed in tenjiku. haru’s decision to remain alongside mikey, imo was not only influenced by his feelings towards him, but also possibly the result of making a calculated choice after evaluating the power structure of tokyo at that time. and we’ve seen that haru most definitely has the mental capacity to think logically and use inferential reasoning

‣ you have to keep an eye on the king, but also on yourself

idek how to put this into words this is so sad. not only haru was neglected by everybody around him, but it’s likely that he neglected himself too.

Many people on the Autism spectrum struggle with transitioning from one activity to another. So they just get fixated on one thing so they don’t have to deal with the stress of switching from one thing to another.

from here

he probably became so focused on mikey, his goals and his wellbeing that he completely forgot about himself. again, this could also relate to him being neglected by takeomi, a parental figure and how that’s affected him and his self perception. it’s also possible that he didn’t take care of himself (mentally and emotionally) because he was already conditioned to believe that he’s unworthy so yk why even try

As a result of low self-care, a person could start to feel worthless. Because, in general, individuals on the spectrum might have stronger feelings, even the smallest of things can majorly affect that person, in ways neurotypical people won’t understand.

In addition, many people with autism may feel that even though they don’t take the best care of themselves, there are more important subjects to worry about. Other self-advocates may not have the energy to look after themselves, as a possible result of depression, not enough free time, or difficulties with family and/or friends.

from here

‣ moral judgment impairment

disclaimer: ok this part is going to be so difficult for me to write bc i have no idea what’s right, wrong and what morality generally stands for but i’ll try my best. lmk if this part doesn’t make sense

i wholeheartedly believe that haru thinks (or that he convinced himself) that he’s doing the right and appropriate thing. am i trying to say that he thinks mass murder is justified and necessary? yes i do. because he probably doesn’t see it as immoral or inherently wrong; he only cares about mikey and his “path of carnage”

People with autism may perceive morality differently than normally functioning people because they focus more on the outcomes of situations, rather than the intentions of the people in those situations.

(...)

Moral judgment is a complex social cognitive process, but it is also influenced by moral education.

from here

side note: well who was there to ensure that he receives proper moral education? probably nobody. how was he even supposed to identify a set of beliefs and values regarding what is right and wrong?

Empathy is typically considered as a necessary component of developing moral agents. Empathy may play at least two roles in the development of moral agency: (i) empathic ability might be helpful to learn important moral lessons; (ii) empathic responses to harm suffered by a victim might be important in shaping moral judgments to wrong-doing. Furthermore, empathic capacity is useful in understanding who is judged to be a victim of moral transgression.

from here

very often people on the spectrum lack empathy, which plays a significant role in the process of building a moral compass and developing moral intelligence as mentioned above.

The term ‘empathy’ is used in a variety of ways, and problems of empathy have been suggested to be central to both psychopathy and autism spectrum disorders.

(...)

The affective/information processing correlates of psychopathic tendencies and ASD are quite different. Psychopathic tendencies are associated with difficulties in resonating with other people’s distress, whereas ASD is characterized by difficulties in knowing what other people think.

from here

i’m pretty sure that i’ve already went over this aspect of autism somewhere before but i’ll do it again for the sake of convenience

‘Mind blindness’ — a theory that holds that people with autism are unable to form an awareness of others’ thoughts.

from here

tldr; imo haru is aware of what he’s doing, he knows that he’s murdering people, his friends even. but he’s incapable of understanding why that’s wrong or why he shouldn’t be doing this. his own way of reasoning rejects the idea of morality and what it generally means to allistic people. he thinks in logical terms and the most important aspect of his life is to protect mikey and “his path”. so that’s what he’s going to do and he’ll go to great lengths to achieve that without even questioning if he’s doing the morally right thing. because in his mind, he is. because why wouldn’t he, right?

‣ bonus points for bearing an invisible cross as a consequence of the series of events

not to be annoying but this panel again

disclaimer: i’m probably going to sound like i’m contradicting myself here but pls trust me also i’ll try my best not to project bc this part just hits home lol

yes i’ve dedicated a decent amount of this post (if not the vast majority) explaining how loneliness and feeling abandoned has probably greatly influenced his way of thinking and how he perceives the outside world.

nevertheless, autistic people tend to have a decreased need for social interaction

A general explanation for the impairments in social initiative and reciprocity states that individuals with autism find social interactions less rewarding, because they fail to appreciate their emotional significance. Indeed, abnormal brain functioning in autism suggests impaired sensitivity to social affiliation and reward at a neural level.

from here

does that mean that all autistic people prefer to isolate themselves from others? absolutely not.

ok so wtf am i even talking about here? what i’m trying to say is that maybe that tendency to detach has prevailed the older he got. i mean we saw him have friends before but we also know that at some point in his childhood, he started pushing people away (and not just random people, senju was his sister that he raised so obv they were close). it’s entirely possible that he subconsciously or consciously reshaped his disposition into this over exaggerated but also apathetic persona because of psychological trauma that stemmed from potentially being on the spectrum and how difficult it was to grow up not only neglected but also in a society that’s primarily designed for neurotypicals.

it’s also worth mentioning that it’s extremely rare for allistic people to recognize, understand and react to this. the people around him most likely didn't know what he was going through (he probably didn't even know himself), so they couldn't possibly figure it out on their own. this sounds like absolute nonsense, so i’m going to speak from my personal experience to put this into perspective. my mom is not a neurodivergent person and has no idea what neurodivergent people go through so how could she know that i was always struggling with the simplest things like bright led lamps? she always thought i was complaining for no reason and that i was also trying to piss her off on purpose. why? because she, as a neurotypical, has no issues with bright lightning; if she ever kept bringing it up, it would probably be because of some petty reasons that are completely unrelated to the neurological structure of her brain.

tldr; this brings us back to the story of his neglect and how the perpetuated cycle of abuse never stops, but ultimately and substantially gets worse. obv it’s possible to break the cycle, but it can be a long, draining process that requires a lot of external support and emotional investment.... it’s possible that maybe if he wasn’t neglected by his family, he’d be able to receive the proper and necessary guidance that maybe could have led him to a different path; a path that isn’t centered around violence and straight up carnage.

anyway, keep in mind that this panel is from september 2008, so haru is 18 years old here; technically he’s an adult. he probably spent his entire life neglected and alone. obv he’s developed some kind of subconscious self defense mechanism and now he feels like “i don’t need anybody and i don’t even want anybody” .....because nobody needed and wanted him in the first place

With today’s modern conveniences, a person can physically survive a solitary existence. But that existence is probably not a happy one. Thanks to millions of years of natural selection, being rejected is still painful.

(...)

Social rejection activates many of the same brain regions involved in physical pain.

from here

tldr; do autistic people tend to prefer to be alone? yes. does it still hurt to be abandoned regardless of the presence of neurodevelopmental disorders? also yes. autistic people are people too yk

‣ bonus points for his adorable posture

ok this is really random and more like a fun lil fact about him but like look at his posture, it’s so cute. also i think he’s the only one that stands like that in the manga, so it’s safe to assume that his way of standing is different lol

Motor impairments in individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) have been frequently reported.

from here

‣ extra bonus points for cosplaying Raymond Babbitt

another fun lil fact and i SWEAR i’m not doing this on purpose. i’m most definitely not trying to attribute each and every little detail that i know about him to autism but like..

haru is 2nd best at gambling

Restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviors, interests, or activities are a critical diagnostic criterion for autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Previous studies using gambling paradigms with ASD populations have identified that, unlike typically developed control participants, people with a diagnosis of ASD tend to maintain particular response patterns regardless of the magnitude of potential outcomes to uncertain gains or losses.

(...)

These findings suggest that the ASD tendency towards repetitive behavior may demonstrate itself even in high-level decision-making tasks.

from here

ok i think that’s all, lmk what u think also sorry if this is too long lol

287 notes · View notes

aufucker · 2 months

Text

It's Just A Routine Mold Inspection

BJ/Lawrence

Noooo CWs I can think of beyond implied unsanitary? And just. Law being Very Strange and Off-putting.

Long boy coming.

When it came to your line of work, you noticed reading comprehension began at "Re-Nu" and ended at "TRAUMA CLEANING" with little mind given to the following like "MOLD" or "WATER DAMAGE".

The looks of wide eyed confusion you and your coworkers would receive as you pulled up to the large apartment complex were expected. A routine mold inspection with likely no routine communication given on management's part.

Fun, you adored repeating yourself over and over again.

You and your team opted to keep your suits sleeves tied around your waists, or at least kept the hoods down, in hopes it would keep folks from assuming some plague had been cast upon their home.

With clipboard in hand that you long had memorized, you slapped it against your thigh like a battalion drum beat.

"Alright, alright, alright. Got a big building and a bunch of doe eyes, so let's keep talk brief; I want teams of two on each floor, knock, let 'em know it's just a mold check, do your thing, get on out."

"If you don't get an answer, jot down the apartment number and call me about it AFTER you finish your floor; building management gave me a master key and maintenence slips and don't want to call us in the morning, am I making myself clear, *Montgomery?*"

Your callout earned a few quiet chuckles and hearty cackles as your coworker quickly looked up from his phone, nearly dropping his energy drink. "Yeah--! I mean, yeah. I got'cha BJ; they don't open up, you'll break down the doors an' shit."

"Good enough, I'll give that answer a solid C+."

"What? I thought that'd be a B- at worst!"

"You best Be Minusing some fuckin' mold man, it's 7 in the morning and they want us gone by 1500."

---

It was all routine and script. It was frankly boring as Hell.

Knock, script, routine, sign, knock, script, routine, sign. No, no one died, no, no one is sick, no, no one got murdered, no, no, no. Knock, script, routine, sign.

Call.

"Hey, hey Yanez, what's up? Need a key?" You always spoke a little softer to Erica, she was an older lady after all.

"No, well... maybe? Do you have a phone number for this unit? I wanna try calling first."

"*Kookum*, you know we don't call. I can open it for you."

You were surprised to hear the voices of your other coworkers on the other side.

"It smells weird."

"We tried knocking, like, fifty times already. Think I heard someone tell us to fuck off, basically."

"The vibes are straight shit, dude. Can't we just forget this one, like... It's one."

Fucking Montgomery.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, sighing heavily to where they could *all* hear you. "Text me the unit and keep it moving. I'll take care of it. 'Smells weird' come the fuck on, Cherry; you were there for that level five hoard last month. 'Smells weird'." You hung up with little grace.

---

You spun the key in on your gloved finger as your eye scanned the door. It was the right unit. You stood in thoughtful silence, ears perked and nostrils flared.

Okay, it did smell weird. Like earth. Not like mold, but freshly turned dirt. Like a Home Depot garden center right at Spring. You weren't quite sure what to make of it, not in a way that was relevant to why you were here.

Seizing the key in your hand, you knocked on the door, firm and pounding, like a damn fed. If someone was there, they definitely knew you were there.

"Re-Nu Decon, here for a routine mold inspection." You said loudly. You said with authority - something your coworkers didn't really have a grip on.

You only waited a few seconds before pressing your ear to the door, listening. You could hear shuffling, faint and...sluggish. The smell of earth was so strong, you felt like you were pressing against a buried coffin lid.

You backed away, pounding again, "Hey, man. Look, I got keys, 'aight. You don't want me to barge in, I don't wanna barge in. Hope about you open the door so I can be in and out of your hair, okay?"

Maybe a minute passed, you didn't check, but you heard the clicking sounds of latches opening. *A lot of latches.* More than you knew your key could have possibly opened.

The door cracked open and a pale, blue eye met you. It looked exhausted. You seen that sort of look before, hell, you felt that sort of look before. You softened up a bit, giving a patient smile.

"Hey, man. Sorry for bugging you. Mold inspection. Mind if I come in?" You figured keeping it short and sweet would be for the best. "Will just be a few minutes, promise. I'm fast."

The eyes looked at you, but you weren't sure what was behind them. A rather quiet, "Yeah." was your answer.

You entered the apartment, looking at the man who dwelled in it; a lanky blond thing with tired blue eyes that didn't seem capable of looking at it for more than a few seconds at a time. He was tall. But you were still taller. He didn't seem to expect it.

You watched him scratch at the light stubble on his chin in discomfort as you looked around. The place was utterly covered in plants, some you knew, some you didn't, but you found it a little impressive all the same, giving a low whistle.

At least you had an explanation for the dirt smell.

"Any of these plants need humidifiers?"

"Huh? Oh. Uh... yeah... some."

"Got'cha. Ventilation good?"

"Uhm... I... I think so."

You nodded briefly, walking around the small unit as you scanned the typical suspects, the corners, the kitchen, the ceilings. All the while your nose was filled with the scent of earth and nature and

copper.

You could feel his eyes bearing into your back, like they were trying to burrow into your spine when you carefully slid a plant out of the way to check the walls it covered.

"African Mask?" You asked.

"Yeah..." he answered. You think he sounded surprised.

"You got a nice collection, man. How long you been growing?" Swab, crack, shake, wait. Negative.

"Thanks." His words sounded like they were being pulled by ropes. "I, uh... been doing it a while."

This whole damn unit was taking a while. You tried to focus on your work, tried to ignore the feeling of eyes on you. In you. Swab, crack, shake, wait. Negative. It felt like hours of painfully long silence, the rattling of leaves of the plants you moved ringing like static.

You heard him speak. Close. Too close. "Uhm... do you... want some tea?"

Jesus, Joseph, and fucking Mary. You hoped your jolt out of your skin wasn't obvious. "Huh? Oh, uh, no. No thanks. Appreciate it. I'm wrapping up now. You're clear so far. Just gotta check the bathroom."

"Someone's in there." He answered before you could really finish. "It's. Occupied."

You wanted to argue, tell him to tell whoever the fuck was doing their business *that long* to hurry the hell up and get out so you can swab fucking toilets for mold spores... but you noticed the time.

And you noticed how he stared at you. Through you.

1523. You fucking went over. He was looking through you. In you.

"...right. Well. If you had anything going on, I think most of it would be out here. So... uh... yeah. I'm sure the bathroom's fine." It was embarrassing how your words felt like putty in your mouth. The click of your pen felt like a crate of bricks were being dropped as you passed it and your clipboard over to him.

"Just... Sign by your unit number and I'll be out."

It smells like earth. It smells like copper.

You didn't bring anything to test for blood.

Why would you?

It's a routine mold inspection.

#btd #btd lawrence #lawrence oleander #btd oc #my writing #idk how to write for law so praying hands emoji #also: auf writes dialogue??? wild

15 notes · View notes

tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 10 months

Text

This starts out as a post about one specific Daniel Kitson article, then it goes into a John Oliver article, then it just becomes a post about the crossover between Daniel Kitson and John Oliver. Click the link if you want to read that.

Every once in a while, I’ll come across something on the internet that is so relevant to my interests, it leaves me shocked that I have managed to miss it in my previous scourings of the internet for things that are relevant to my interests. For example: this article, from The Times, London (archived version here).

Sometimes I think I’ve already found all the articles about Daniel Kitson that are on the internet – finding this for the first time today confirms that I hadn’t even found all the articles by Daniel Kitson. Which is a rare thing to find, but not completely impossible, there are a few others. Hadn’t seen this one before, though.

It's from July 2003, and it's Daniel Kitson's "survival guide" to the Edinburgh Festival. At least, it's supposed to be. I assume what happened is The Times asked Daniel Kitson to write a survival guide to the Edinburgh Festival, and because he had not yet become quite as determined as he is today to never let anyone find out he exists, he said yes.

I'm going to go through it a bit at a time, starting from this first paragraph:

HISTORICALLY, survival guides are bastions for lazy thinking, shoddy writing and bad comedy. Articles about Edinburgh in particular abound with advice revolving largely around deep-fried foodstuffs, the hills, the penny black and everything else that is pretty much utterly irrelevant. I obviously consider myself way above such tawdry concerns of the hack and therefore will clumsily attempt to do a little more than telling you to avoid street theatre, of which I enjoy a certain proportion, and criticising students handing out flyers, which I think is a reasonable and vital part of the process of selling a show.

I quoted that one just because I like that last sentence. I haven't been to Edinburgh before, but I have been to a lot of folk festivals, and I've been handed a lot of flyers. So I know it can get annoying, but I don't think it's quite annoying enough to warrant how much people make fun of it, especially given that most people handing out flyers are just struggling artists trying to sell their show. I try to be understanding about anyone trying to sell their show, we wouldn't have an arts industry at all if people couldn't do that. I don't complain when people plug something on a podcast, for example. Hypocritically, I do tend to assume that anyone who has ever unironically said the words "like and subscribe" has never said anything of value in their entire life. But flyers are fine. If someone hands you a flyer, even if you've already had a lot and it's annoying, just be respectful and try to be out of their sight before you conscientiously put it in a recycling bin.

So, before I go father in this post, I should say that possibly one of ways in which I have most taken fandom too far is the folder on my computer called “Kitson and Oliver”. It started last year sometime, when I was first getting into Daniel Kitson, and told @lastweeksshirttonight that I’d keep track of every time Kitson mentioned John Oliver in one of his radio shows, so I could share the bits that are relevant to their interests. It snowballed from there, and now I have quite a comprehensive collection of every time I’ve ever seen or heard or read those two telling stories about each other, or rare instances of them being recorded actually doing things together. So of course, I hoped this article would give me more things to add to that collection. And it delivered by the second paragraph:

My perennial Edinburgh flatmate, John Oliver, and I have a plan to get us through this year’s festival unscathed. In previous years our main mode of escape has been PlayStation football. Controlling tiny sporting men into the early hours is the finest way to end any day. Particularly a day that has been dominated by reading reviews, avoiding people, sitting on the lavatory and performing. It becomes tricky only when the tiny sporting men cease to do your bidding and light begins to spill through the curtains, sparking a frantic rush to get into bed before the impending dawn can go full blown. In both 2001 and 2002 computer football was augmented with supporting struts of insular pleasure. Two years ago when I was in the throes of my first solo Edinburgh show and John was enjoying the relatively stress and inspiration-free environment of a package show, we found comfort in lists. In sticking big sheets of paper and back-to-front posters on the walls of our lurid sitting room — as much to hide the shocking pink that lay beneath as to form a canvas. However, once the paper was fixed in place we wrote lists. The lists could be anything: “People we hate”, “Comedians who are s***”, “People who need to shut up”. There was not a massive amount of generosity of spirit emanating from these tallies. It really helped us, though. Not much is more comforting than getting in after a particularly pointless exercise in crowd control, picking up a felt tip and writing “the audience” under the heading “People who need to shut up”, making your way to the PlayStation, switching it on, picking up a controller and settling in. Last year John and I were both performing solo shows. John had left the nursery pool of the Comedy Zone and was finding the wide open waters of solo performing a little choppy. I, of course, had a bigger boat than John, a boat I wasn’t sure I wanted to be in and a boat whose course I seemed unable to control. The point being that we were s****ing a lot. An awful lot. Once more the PlayStation was unpacked and controllers passed out. Once more the tiny sprinting footballers calmed us. Last year, however, rather than writing lists, we made juice. Watermelon, pineapple, apple, orange, strawberry, any combination you can think of. Getting home after a performance that has made you forget why you ever thought your show was remotely watchable is made so much easier when waiting in the fridge is watermelon and strawberry juice less than three hours old. After pouring a glass and picking up a controller you feel that you may actually be the future of comedy once more.

I would pay too much money for a picture of some of those lists. Though I think I do, actually, have some idea of what might have been on them. If I may take a detour at this point, John Oliver wrote his own article just a few weeks later (archived version here). That's almost a companion to this article, just because they were written so close together, both about their experience of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, circa 2003. Though John Oliver's article focuses a bit more on the comedy than on the video games and strawberry juice.

I'm going to quote a few parts of John Oliver's article, that seem relevant because they discuss overlapping experiences, and/or tell us some things that were presumably on John Oliver's lists called "People who need to shut up":

AS I WRITE THIS, by a sick twist of fate, Jim Davidson is performing standup on BBC One, and the thing that is making me want to throw myself out of the window is that this will be some people’s only experience of stand-up. He’s telling a joke in which an Australian man hits a woman. The audience is laughing. Now he’s saying something casually racist. They’re still laughing. Make it stop, please. Think of the children. I’m at the Edinburgh Festival, sitting in my flat overlooking a building site and some teenagers setting fire to a bicycle. Feel the spirit of the Fringe.

...

The interesting thing this year is not just that lots of “political comedians” are here, but that other comedians are commenting on politics far more. The main reason is the war, and the fact that in times of such party-political apathy, millions have hit the streets in marches ranging from stopping war on people to continuing war on foxes — all over two weekends. And the rise of political comment in stand-up has to be a good thing, right? Well, that depends on how it is being done, and whether it contains the question “Have we got any Americans in?” That perennial comedic question used to trigger off lazy comedy: “Anyone notice how fat Americans are?” “How about their lack of irony?” If you like this kind of thing, that’s fine — except that it isn’t, and you’re an idiot.

...

My favourite political comedy comes from a more whimsical background. Armando Iannucci (The Day Today, Saturday Night Armistice) has always done ridiculous satire better than anyone; The Onion website regularly manages aggressive political comedy dressed up as nonsense (their post-September 11 edition was outstanding), and Andy Zaltzman has developed a great political stand-up that is both true and stupid. There does also seem to be a growth in comedy that is broadly about social politics. Daniel Kitson’s show last year had a lot to say about how awful the world is becoming. David O’Doherty regularly produces outstanding shows with jokes from the heart. His stories appeal to how we live our life and how we view the world. The Dinks this year in Edinburgh are a three-man team of articulate clowns who weave together an elaborate political metaphor while jumping around in weird costumes.

...

But people are attempting to move away from the kind of comedy that changes the words to pop songs to insinuate that Ann Widdecombe is a bit ugly. Attacking the cosmetics is pointless. It’s distracting and it’s lazy. George Bush says stupid things, but the entire system behind him is raping the world. And Jim Davidson is still on my TV. Go and see Rob Newman, Andy Zaltzman, David O’Docherty, The Dinks, and, if you’ve still got time, me. We’ll kick our truth for you people, while trying not to.

John Oliver in 2003, everyone. Telling you exactly what he does and does not like. Also spelling David O'Doherty's name wrong, spelling it the way British people pronounce it, which is not the correct way to spell it or pronounce it. But it's cool that he gave him that respect of going on a list of comedians who have something substantial to say, even if most of his material isn't overtly political. He's done some overtly political stuff in the last ten years or so, but I don't think he had any by 2003. (I've just realized, @lastweeksshirttonight, I'm not sure I've ever sent you that second article before, you should definitely read it, and so should all the other people on the John Oliver side of Tumblr, the whole thing's very interesting).

Okay, back to the Kitson article, that doesn't spend as much time naming the things he hates, but does tell us about writing it on walls with John Oliver.

Sport in general is important to our experience of Edinburgh. Aerobie (flying rings), mini-golf and always, like a calming hand on your shoulder, football. Kick-about matches on the meadows are often hastily convened on days when there is slightly more blue than cloud. People surprise you in these makeshift games, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Generally people are pleasantly surprised by my quick feet and are often let down by John failing to deliver on his flashes of early promise. David O’Doherty, a man with a head seemingly too large for his body, is a phenomenal player, while Danny Bhoy, with a normally proportioned head to torso ratio, has a game that seemingly consists only of pace and ineffective touches of flair. Russell Howard, a great new comedian, is the most naturally gifted footballer I’ve seen but has a propensity to be distracted by food, while Andy Zaltzman remains stoic and determinedly old-fashioned as a defender.

Love this, thank you, Daniel. As I've said before, my favourite type of celebrity gossip in the whole world is gossip about which comedians are best at playing football. So thank you for the scouting report.

Nish Kumar once said that he thinks you can connect everyone's comedy to the way they play football, like how his football playing is inconsistent and he's often on the left wing. Does that apply here? David O'Doherty does have an entire song about having legs that are too short for his body. Danny Bhoy... look, he seems like a nice guy and I think the comedy he does is good for people who like that sort of thing and I don't want to be a dick about this, but I did watch three of his DVDs, and "a game that seemingly consists only of pace and ineffective touches of flair" is not a bad description of that those DVDs were like. Naturally gifted but plagued by the tragic flaw of being too easily distracted is a strong description of Russell Howard's comedic career. And "stoic and determinedly old fashioned" very much describes the style of Andy Zaltzman's obscure and resolutely wordplay-based comedy, if not its content.

While I'm at this, a picture of their lineup that I'm almost sure is from the 2003 Melbourne Comedy Festival, so just a few months before those articles. Look at my favourite type of celebrity gossip:

Actually, now that I look at it, this only features three people who were mentioned in Kitson's article: Danny Bhoy, David O'Doherty, and Kitson himself. Also featuring Dave Gorman, Dan Antopolski, Glenn Wool, Jason Byrne, Adam Hills, Charlie Pickering, and Noel Fielding. A picture that's just always worth throwing in, while I'm documenting 2003.

For the past two years John and I have employed a policy of avoidance (people, parties, agents) and indulgence (computer football, real football, waffles) and it has served us well. This year, however, we are ready for Edinburgh. Not ready in the sense of having a finished show. Not ready in the sense of psychologically prepared for the brief and utterly disproportionate amount of media coverage. But ready in the sense of having tracked down and bought every film we can think of that contains slow-motion sporting triumph over adversity, ideally backed by some manner of stirring music. Edinburgh cannot hurt us now. Negative reviews cannot upset us. Low audience numbers will cause us no concern. Walk-outs will be welcomed. All because the boys in Escape to Victory put up with more than we can ever imagine. It began last year with the stirring Remember the Titans (a film of such perfection that John momentarily forgot about his impending financial loss) and is continued this year with the futile courage of Tin Cup, the once-hip jive talk of White Men Can’t Jump, the documentaries When We Were Kings and Hoop Dreams, both ready to lift us from the depths to the very pinnacle of human courage. Field of Dreams, Chariots of Fire, Rocky, they are all coming to our aid. Like half-forgotten friends returning in the final reel to save the heroes from insurmountable odds. You play sporting footage in slow motion, put music behind it that makes you shiver, and you have a film I will pay money to own.

I love this bit of that article, because it's the first time I've actually seen Daniel Kitson acknowledge a connection I had previously made, that he and John Oliver both talk about how much they love dramatic sports moments set to dramatic music. My Kitson + Oliver folder actually contains a compilation I made a while ago, of Daniel Kitson and John Oliver, in separate stand-up shows, talking about the same phenomenon:

I figured this must mean they'd first come up with this interest together, but I really enjoy seeing Kitson actually tell us the origin of it. That's one of the first things that hugely endeared Daniel Kitson to me, by the way. Fucking right, dramatic sporting moments set to dramatic music are the most emotionally effective things in the world. I love that shit, I've pretty much dedicated my entire life to them.

I've now quoted literally the entire Kitson article besides the last paragraph (though not the entire Oliver article, people should go read that one), so I may as well throw in the ending:

This then is the plan: a juicer, a PlayStation, a football, waffles and paninis, little men doing as they are told, a glass full of juice and a scene of sporting courage ready in the DVD player. Come to me now, Edinburgh, and bring your slings and arrows, your potshots, your misguided ambition and your insularity. Bring it all and do your worst for I am prepared. I am ready.

That is a man who was fucking ready for the raging battle he was going to do with a large plastic cow almost exactly one month later. Going in with that attitude, it's no wonder they did so well.

...You knew that was where this post was going, right? I can't write a post about Daniel Kitson and John Oliver at Edinburgh in 2003 without going back to that stupid fucking cow video.

I find the crossover between Daniel Kitson and John Oliver fascinating (hence the folder). They do such different types of comedy (broadly, Oliver being extremely political and Kitson being extremely personal), but with so many fundamental similarities. Big things, like a similar worldview, full of frustration at individuals and reveling in petty complaints and emphasis on the importance of compassion and obsession with acknowledging everything that happens everywhere and separation between vulgarity and meanness. And smaller, more specific things, like they’ve both got rants against the Santa Claus Day parade and in favour of dramatic music over dramatic sporting events, they’ve both got material about how much they love swearing and about how much they hate people who swear in front of children.

And they both fit into this middle space between nerd and jock that I really like, though that one’s less specific to them and seems to be a defining feature of (almost) the entire Chocolate Milk Gang, which may be one little part of why I like the entire Chocolate Milk Gang so much. I’ve heard Kitson, Oliver, and Zaltzman and O’Doherty all do bits, separately from each other and in different years, about how they were more interested in being professional athletes than professional comedians. Gavin Osborn’s got a whole song about it. Apparently, what I look for in a favourite comedian (or comedy adjacent musician) is it’s nice if they have at least some familiarity with the middle of the Venn diagram between massive nerd and person obsessed with sports.

Most of the stuff in my Kitson + Oliver folder are clips of them talking about each other, because they’ve very rarely actually recorded stuff together. They’ve repeatedly described each other as best friends, but never actually worked with each other, which makes sense as what they did was so different. As far as I can see, there are only a few instances of them being recorded together.

One is when Daniel Kitson featured, playing the role of God (a little on the nose, arguably), in the Zaltzman and Oliver sketch at their reunion gig in Edinburgh 2011:

youtube

Then there's this shit from Daniel Kitson's radio show Trifle, in August 2020:

That clip absolutely killed me when I first heard it. It came from right near the end of the run, so Kitson was already very much in my head. I'd read the spoilers before I'd even started listening to that radio show, so I knew it would turn out to not be real, and still, as I got to the end, I got more and more confused and tried to find answers to more and more questions. "Wait... what the fuck did you... were you ever anywhere? Were you even outside that other time? Was that bird sound real or was that a special effect? Was every moment of it scripted? Have you ever even owned a camper van? Is Tim Key a real person?"

So I'm already totally drawn into that mystery, at the same time Daniel Kitson is hitting some emotional resonance buttons pretty fucking hard, maybe not quite as hard as dramatic sporting moments set to dramatic music, but pretty close. You know, some stuff about things lost during the pandemic, and then things lost during your whole life, things that used to matter to you and are gone now, things you lose track of and are never quite the same even if they come back, and then he hits you with that John Oliver clip, which I believe had me actually saying "Go fuck yourself, Kitson," to my phone. By which I meant absolutely nobody should be allowed to hit you this hard with a supposedly unscripted radio show about nothing. "The thing you miss is the future you once had." Fuck you.

And that bit was scripted, meaning he specifically wrote a script where all his friends call him to say they’re worried about him and want him to come home and stop being stupid, except John Oliver, who calls to say he fully supports his harebrained scheme and thinks he should keep having this spontaneous adventure. And it’s not like Kitson regularly brings in John Oliver on things like this, he specifically brought in John Oliver on that one thing where he needed one character to be the voice of “Just go have an adventure, don’t worry about responsibilities and consequences”. And then you think about how much of Daniel Kitson’s early material was about love for adventure and spontaneously doing things in the middle of the night, and how much of his later comedy is about being sad that life loses adventure as you get old and your friends move away and have families.

Anyway. Anyway. I did not mean for this post to get quite so dramatic. Can I bring the tone to one a bit more lighthearted? Because here's a rare video of Kitson and Oliver together, it hardly counts because you don't even see them, but you can just barely tell they're both there:

Dunking Eugene Mirman in a dunk tank outside a gig at the Eugene Mirman Comedy Festival in 2010. The video only shows Mirman falling, but you can hear Kitson's distinctive giggle, and you can hear John Oliver mutter something like "Ooh, that one was...". And if you don't believe me that they were both just on the other side of that camera, here's a picture taken by a camera that was facing them while they threw:

Here's a YouTube video where you can see them both. From the Honourable Men of Art show at the 2006 Edinburgh Fringe Festival. John Oliver was supposed to be part of that show in person, but about six weeks before the festival started, he informed his friends that he was moving to America to work on The Daily Show, instead of, in the words of Andy Zaltzman, “Coming to Edinburgh to talk to twenty-five people a day in a darkened room.” So they got him on a live video linkup some nights, and here are 22 lovely seconds of it.

youtube

And finally, here is, to the very best of my knowledge, the only other instance of Daniel Kitson and John Oliver doing anything together that got recorded and put out there for the public to find:

youtube

I told you it would come back to that. It always comes back that. And it turns out that Daniel Kitson did tell us, going into that festival, that he was ready for anything. He wasn't kidding.

#Youtube

9 notes · View notes

tbb-appreciation-week · 1 year

Text

Now that the prompts have been revealed, I thought of answering some questions some of you might find helpful about the event.

Please make sure to read the Event Info carefully first, as most of your questions will be answered there already. For everything else, check out the F.A.Q under the cut.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is [fill the blank] allowed?

When in doubt:

And how about…?

Yes, that, too. Give total freedom to your creativity, and don't worry about whether it's allowed or not. Most things are okay, barring anything inciting or glorifying harassment, hatred, or discrimination of any kind.

Do I have to post for all 7 days?

Participate as much or little as you like! Just be sure to tag your posts properly (e.g., #tbbaw2023 #dayX #character #warnings #prompts #medium #more tags). There are no repercussions if you don’t fill prompts for each day.

Can I post early/late?

You could, but I wouldn’t recommend posting early. Since this is an Appreciation Week event, it'd be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time. That being said, I’ll start reblogging works on September 2nd (thinking on the folks living on the other side of the world from me. You know, time zones and all that), but nothing earlier than that.

As for posting late, yes, that's totally fine; I understand that real life gets in the way sometimes. The only thing I ask is that you tag the for the day you should've posted on, not the day you're actually doing it. Example, if you missed Day 2 and are posting it on the Day 4, your tags must include #Day 2, NOT Day 4.

So, when should I start posting?

According to your time zone, during the day at the most convenient time for you, starting on September 3rd till the 9th. If you're super eager and can't wait, post when the clock hits midnight every day. Or if you're late, 11:59pm still counts as on time! 🤣

Will you reblog my post?

I'll do my best to reblog everyone's posts during the week. If it passes more than 2-3 days and I haven't reblogged your post, please let me know. If you tag your post properly and mention this blog, it’s less likely that I'll miss it.

However, I'm thinking that I might queue posts, so I don't drop them in bulk. If I do that, look for a like from @intrepidmare (my main blog), if you have it, that means I saw it and put it on the queue and eventually will be reblogged.

What if I don’t understand how to choose a prompt to work with?

Send me an ask! I'm happy to clarify it for you. But remember, the prompts are entirely up for interpretation. Don’t take them too literally. Prompts are suggestions, not mandates.

What kind of content can I make? Can it be NSFW?

Yes, that’s why NSFW prompts are included among the others for each day. And if you use the other safer prompts and turn it into something NSFW, that's okay too. In any case, you should tag your work accordingly, so that others participating in the event can curate their experience and be safe. HERE is a non-comprehensive list of tags you should use if they apply to your work.

Can I combine TBBAW prompts with other creation challenges?

Absolutely! If you have a bingo card to fill or another event to complete, go for it. That’s like shooting two mynocks with one bolt, using one of Crosshair's reflective disks!

Can I upload/repost my TBBAW content to other social media platforms?

Of course! You can post your own content wherever you like. Additionally, I’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any work posted there. It can be accessed here.

If any of the prompts fits well for an existing fic/art I am currently working on, can I use it?

If you are actively working on this fic/art at the moment with the Appreciation Week prompts in mind, yes. In the case of using a work retroactively (meaning: already published and complete), then please, don’t. You can, however, add new chapters/pages/panels using one or more of the prompts.

For Day 7, what kind of characters can I create for?

You can create anything for canon characters that have made an appearance in the show or Original characters that interact with the Batch in your own universe/fic. Or simply do something for your favorite Batcher again.

If I’m not comfortable with this or that day’s prompts, can I use a prompt from a different day as a substitute and still count?

No, you can’t exchange prompts from different days (as in exchanging Day 3 prompts for Day 5 prompts). However, you come up with your own prompt, having the character of the day in mind. Also, there's also a short list of jokers/alternatives that you can use only one time each to replace any of the main prompts. There are 3 jokers in total (2 SFW + 1 NSFW), so that means you can replace up to 3 of the other prompts.

Where can I post my work?

Post where and how you want. You don’t have to cross-post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind, if it’s not on Tumblr, I won't be able to add it to the blog archive. You can post a just link to anywhere else you've posted if you don't want to put the entire work in your blog.

Do I have to finish a fic I started? Can I post a work in progress?

Yes, you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish it. It'd make me happy that this event prompt you to create something longer. Let's appreciate the Bad Batch all year around!

Is co-creating allowed?

Yes, absolutely! Encouraged, even. Not just the usual writer-artist or co-writing collaborations, also any kind of medium combos: fic-podfic, fic-playlist, art-art, etc.

Do I have to create 7 standalone pieces, or can I make one continuous story?

Do whatever you want. One continuous story is fine. The challenge is to create something for 7 prompts. If that’s spread over 7 fics/art pieces/etc. or just one with 7 chapters/panels/parts, it's up to you.

Is there a min/max limit on word count?

None. If you want to write a 100-word drabble or a 50k fic or anything in between for each day, it's all up to you. You're the only one who knows how much time you can dedicate to it and how high/low your level of inspiration/energy is. You can even write a snippet for a fic you'll write later when you have the time/energy. Remember that this is lay-back-type of an event. Do as little or much as you want/can.

Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many?

No limit, and you can combine as many prompts for a specific day as you like. If you want to use them all, do it.

If you want to use all the prompts individually, there's also the option to create several pieces for a single day. It depends on you, your time, and your motivation. This counts too if you do works in different mediums, e.g., write a fic and do art for it (or for a different prompt).

Can I start working on the prompts before September 3rd?

Of course! That’s the idea of posting the prompts so early. I know how difficult it can be to create something in “real time”, without mentioning real life complications, so feel free to start creating as soon as now!! You'll have over 3 months to work on your pieces.

How do I tag triggers?

Just tag the word/phrase, e.g., blood; main character death. (DO NOT add "tw" either at the beginning or the end. That makes it harder for readers to block the right tags). Here it's the list of the most common warning tags you should use when appropriate.

Also it would be prudent to add warnings in the body of the post, giving the readers another layer of protection before they do the actual reading.

Do I have to use your tags guidelines?

I'd appreciate it if you did. If you follow the guide I gave you in the tags post here, it'd make it easier for me to keep track of who posted on a determined day, and for anyone else to find and/or avoid the content of a specific tag.

Can we @ you?

Yes, please DO! I think it's the safest way for me not to miss your posts. I'll also be following the #tbbaw2023 tag, just for good measure.

Is there anything we are absolutely not allowed to write?

As I said before, anything goes, EXCEPT anything inciting or glorifying harassment, hatred, and discrimination of any kind against anything or anyone. THAT WON'T BE TOLERATED. For anything else, please make sure to properly tag your trigger warnings. And keep in mind Tumblr’s policies if you are posting it here (or the policies for whatever other site you use).

Can I cross post on other blogs?

Yes, sure. That's fine. You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once.

If you got another question that you didn't find the answer to here, please, send an ask through the inbox, and I'll do my best to clarify your doubts.

Thanks for reading, and happy creating!

#tbb appreciation week #tbb appreciation week 2023 #tbbaw2023 #tbbaw faq #faq post

12 notes · View notes

darlingdearestdetective · 1 year

Text

okay so. i decided to go through the #letters from watson tag to see what new content might have dropped and i was so taken aback by what i saw. im not jewish, so if anything i say is incorrect, then please do correct me. i apologize profusely if i get anything wrong.

the amount of antisemitism coming out of this fandom right now is astounding. the tone-deafness of gentile fans right now? like. im completely disgusted. jewish readers ask us to engage with these stories critically and a bunch of people jump down their throats? the entitlement! its fucking disturbing! so many of you guys are not acting normal.

what is it about what's being said angers yall so much? what part of "reading this hurt me" sounds anything at all like a callout? what is it about jewish people pointing out antisemitism in a text is making so many people defensive? why the fuck are you defending the existence of an antisemetic text in the first place? the lack of reading comprehension here really worries me.

to any jewish folks who might be seeing this: i am so sorry. im sorry that this fandom, a place for you to find a little joy in a little story, has become so toxic. im sorry that you're going through this. my inbox and dms are open if you want to vent or need a friend or anything.

i honestly dont know what to do here. im not jewish, so i want to use my platform to stand with anyone in this fandom who is, to help yall be heard. i want to do more, and am trying to educate myself so that i might be able to help better.

to any fellow gentiles: support jewish people. shut the fuck up and listen when they tell us something is wrong. dont argue. sit down, and learn. all we're being asked to do is acknowledge that something disgustingly hurtful was written, acknowledge that these stories do include racism, antisemitism, and other forms of bigotry. why is that so hard?

i love sherlock so much, but arthur conan doyle was a racist piece of shit! both can be true at the same time, and that doesn't mean that we cant or shouldn't read sherlock stories - what it does mean is that we must be able to engage critically and not let the ugly, horrible parts of these writings be normalized. it was antisemitic back then, and it still is now.

please, lets take a stand against antisemitism. now more than ever, we need to support our jewish friends and listen to what they have to say.

#letters from watson #antisemitism

18 notes · View notes

momolith · 1 year

Note

I know it's frustrating for folks to misinterpret (sometimes beyond your wildest dreams) your art. If it's any consolation, no artist in the world will make art enough to improve this site's reading comprehension or ability to distinguish between characters with "similar features" (especially if they're reblogging something in a rush for whatever reason in their lives).

I hope you can keep making your kickass AMAZING art and just let that (loud) fraction of fans be wrong. There are many of us who do indeed read your tags and text posts and care ❤ You're doing great work here and I'm sorry that it may feel like it's not paying off when people project what they "want to see" in your art or just straight up carelessly misinterpret it. That's an absolute pain, for sure.

omg thank u for the nice message idk what to say 😂

i hate it so much i do probably get irrationally angry, but i also wish people would put in just a little more effort cus that misinterpretation is going to carry on to whoever next sees it from them. ya kno?

ur right tho :/ id rather focus on yall who do actually Get It

here. for u.

#asks #also i do delete those posts where i complain after a bit cus i dont want that to be part of the experience while someone is scrolling thru #my blog saurrrr #im a complainer. what can i say.

10 notes · View notes

thisbuildinghasfeelings · 3 months

Text

Hi! I will be starting us off with the fic rec game this week! I can't believe we're already on Week 4...and the penultimate week of Season 1!

Here are the prompts for this week’s fic rec game:

Fics occurring in mid to late Season One (This week’s episodes: 1x07 Bum Steer & 1x08 Monster Inside) and featuring:

Buttercup!

Billy and Owen as friends/rivals/frenemies/etc.

Owen, TK, and the rest of the 126 coping with Owen's cancer diagnosis and what it might mean for the future

TK in his gunshot-related coma

Carlos coping with his strong feelings after seeing TK in a hospital bed

the 126 gathering in a hospital waiting room

The rules are simple: every week there will be a different prompt, and everyone is encouraged to share a fic (or a few!) recommendation that meets the prompt and tag a few fic-reading friends. The game can be played all week, so no pressure to post right away. I will kick us off with a few recs and then I’ll tag some folks below to get us going! Please feel free to use the banner above, to make your own, or to not use one at all!

Finally, please use the tag ‘Rewatch Read-Along Week 4’ and at the end of the week @911lonestarrewatch will post the link to the tag for the comprehensive list of fic recs!

Thanks to @guardian-angle22 for the banner!

Collateral Damage by @paperstorm

This is the 1x08 installment of the Missing Moments series giving us the events of the episode from Carlos' point of view. It also contains a line that's a favorite of mine, when Carlos says to coma TK “I haven’t convinced you to let me love you, yet.” 😭 I think about this line all the time!

Lucky Dog by @lightningboltreader

This is an adorable little AU meet-cute featuring Buttercup as TK's wingpup.

Something to Lose by @thatnerdemryn

A look into what was going on in Carlos' mind when the shooting happened and as he sat by TK's hospital bed. He's feeling some strong feelings!

echoes by @redshirt2

Carlos bonds with the 126 for the first time in the hospital waiting room. I particularly love this one because it emphasizes how much love entered Carlos' life when he met TK. He didn't just get a soulmate, he got a whole family!

take me back to the light by @reyesstrand

This post-1x08 fic was written immediately after the episode aired so it's essentially a lovely little canon-divergent AU now. It particularly makes me wish that Carlos had been there when TK woke up from his coma and also makes me wonder how that might have changed things. At the very least, I think TK would have felt some feelings at actually seeing Carlos next to his hospital bed!

Tagging some fic readers who might have recs to share: @lemonlyman-dotcom @paperstorm @carlos-in-glasses @reyesstrand @strandnreyes @redshirt2 @bonheur-cafe @alrightbuckaroo @herefortarlos @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @heartstringsduet @liminalmemories21 @lightningboltreader @fangirl-paba @reyestrandd @chicgeekgirl89 @firstprince-history-huh @noxsoulmate and OPEN TAG for anyone else who wants to share some fic recs!

#Rewatch Read-Along Week 4 #911 lone star rewatch 2024 #911 lone star #911 lone star fic #911 lone star fanfiction

40 notes · View notes

theantarwitch · 1 year

Text

Mahō Tsukai no Yome/ The Ancient Magus Bride: When an anime show witchcraft in the good way.

I will slide a little of my usual crap for this time.

“The humanity still remembers the sounds that filled their bodies even before than language. The Magic is the same. Listen what’s around you and extend your hand, you still remember…”

Besides being a witch, I’m also pretty much a mild otaku (I take baths, I swear), so when I was looking for what else to watch, I stumble with this one. The resume I read looked not too good for my taste, but I thought “Well, it have a witch theme, let’s give it a try” and OH BOY WHY IN THE WITCH COMMUNITY THEY DON’T MENTION THIS SERIE AS A MUST TO WATCH?

I will not enter in details about how the characters are made or the music (even when I will mention that the art is visually BEAUTIFUL and the songs will make you cry a dozen times, because yes, you will cry a ton) and I will focus this review with the witch side.

First, I can tell you that a good percentage of the magical lore is pretty ACCURATE. From creatures, myths, material, ingredients, techniques, all. IS WAY TOO ACCURATE, it let me think that the writer has a witch near to learn about these shits. It doesn’t fall into the “lol I can make magic haha let’s open a portal and will have no logical reason and I will not even get tired”, is a “witchcraft is a craft and you need to study, practice and follow some principles, plus rest after do it”. Fuck hell, a lot of times is teaching us to not underestimate ourself and learn, but also to not do stupid things if you don’t know a shit. Plus each chapter start with a “folk proverb”, which add a pretty touch to the theme.

It mentions fairies, with her “real” rules we usually know. It teaches us to differentiate between witchcraft and mages, speaks about the ancient lore of England, Celtic culture and even Nordic songs (maybe? Is nothing official but have Nordic words and Gaelic music so lol?), the Wandering Jew, alchemy, yule, herbs, Morrigan, the church grim, hag stones, fluorite, types of wood, wyverns, familiars, wands, crystals, charging, witches, covens, crafting, fatuos, sacrifices, selkies, elves … Damn, even in some point she makes a spell against nightmares with lavender, like YES!!.

The characters speak also a lot of the witch “spirit”, you know, the respect for the naturel, the elements, the way we use magic, all the spiritual thing that cross us, the interconnectivity of the world, in such delicate and beautiful way that make you re watch your own witchy path with fresh eyes. The majority of the teachings that the “wiser” characters say, seems not even to being directed to the protagonist, but to OURSELVES. They are teaching US.

“Underestimating oneself, as if you were disposable, is like saying that those one has saved are useless”

In some point a fairy mention to a priest that he adores “another god” as if all the deities of the world exist at the same time, you know, as we all know here!

Elias, the character, is by himself a mix of stuffs! He usually wear a veil to not scare others but, we know to what else a mage would use a veil, right? He also carries a cane that bears a resemblance with the Egyptian Was scepter. His face is very similar to what we know as the “goat face” or the head of Baphomet.

And anyone who ever has or have a Patron will probably say that Elias, in some points, remember us about them. By the energy, the mysterious way to speak and act, by the strange love that come from beings that are beyond our comprehension.

Besides all that, the story is phenomenal and touch death in so many artistic ways that is almost a thesis of the process of life and death. Death as a natural path where everyone will fall, death as a tragedy, death as a process, death as a rule, death as a memory, a trauma, a lost, a desire, death as a body, death as a soul.

Not even mention how, in a subtle way, show us about PTSD, suicide and depression, how slowly heal from traumatic events, how grow and take healthy coping mechanisms; how a person under a traumatic past can get numb to the point that everything seems bland and pointless, about codependency, grief, move on. Is a book about psychology and witchcraft with pretty stuffs in the middle.

“You think that by destroying yourself you will earn the right to stay here”

A huge NOPE: It have a hint of Antisemitism. The main bad character is the Wandering Jew, and one of the “good” ones is a German scientist called Adolf Straud. Meanwhile, IRL existed Adolf Strauss, a German general from the Nazis. Like… I’m not saying is the same but… * cringes *

Of course, is not a manual, is an anime, it has a lot of nopes and mixed shit and stuffs that are obviously not accurate or right, but coming from a popular media, I think any witch with some basic experience and an open mind should take a look to this anime. With a small tw because it can fall a little into the gore and horror. But next to the usual Hollywood movies where witchcraft is more a show or the source of the darkness in a scary movie, is pretty good.

#witchcraft #witches #witch #witchy #pagan #paganism

6 notes · View notes

inventors-fair · 2 years

Text

New Mechanic Commentary: Tweaks and Thoughts

This is gonna be a fun week. Also, I’m going to try to actually truncate things a little bit. There’s no particular reason for it, but I just feel that I get a little lost writing commentary sometimes, and I’d like to hone in on these cards and really talk about presentation, execution, and intention. (EDIT: I did not truncate things. Turns out, that’s harder than just saying what I’m thinking.)

What works? What doesn’t work? What’s the game plan? What’s the purpose? I think some of the strongest mechanics this week, for me, were the ones that were focused and that I could imagine a focus with. Generalities are fine, but we have to keep in mind the fact that different decks can care about different mechanics and never the twain shall meet, even in limited.

And that’s a hard concept! Folks, I don’t know if I’ve said it, but making good cards is hard as hell. You’re all doing superb work. Keep it up.

Two big things:

If you truly want to improve your card-making skills, read through the commentary every week. Seriously, if you’ve ever been frustrated by that, consider what other improvements can be made. Consider the scope of what the judges are asking, and see what you agree/disagree with, new angles to consider. Broadening horizons is the key to learning.

And two, presentation still matters, not only in cleanliness, but also in the card you choose to present. What cards are you submitting, and why? What does this mechanic do, and what would get people excited? Not just in a competitive way, but also in an understanding way. How could you present a card in a manner that shows that this mechanic can do new and exciting things? That...didn’t always land this week.

Judge Picks are cards I want to gush about for some reason that didn’t make the cut. Y’all know how it is.

Let’s get to it:

@azathoth-the-bored — Mecha Magna Serpent (JUDGE PICK)

This is weird as hell. I love it. I think all of us in the modchat had some affinity for it, despite the overwhelming “Wait, hold on a sec—” of it.

I like how you’re using the weird rules parts of mutate to make this flavor happen. The ability to “weld” artifacts onto other artifacts is fantastic. What I’d like to see is this mechanic more streamlined. I would remove the vehicle parts altogether and work on a set where artifacts can just be welded, and not worry about the rest of it.

Perhaps, let’s think of weld as “Weld {cost} ({cost}: Put this artifact under another target artifact you control. That artifact has all abilities of this card except for its weld ability. Weld as a sorcery.)” Now that middle line, I’ll admit, needs rewording to specifically align with the rules, but the good news is that “merged permanents” already have comprehensive rules baggage with them, so you don’t have to worry about that at all! It’s a start, and frankly, as much as I’m iffy on mutate, you’ve got a great, great idea here that’s worth trying some execution.

@beandrea99 — Toiling Graverobber

This is one of those cases where presentation matters. Unfortunately, there’s only so much I can glean from this card. I assume that Desecrate is about targeting cards in your graveyard, which is... Well, I mean, I’d rather have that as part of the cost to begin with, but is that all? I think it’s fine but I don’t feel what makes it necessarily unique as a keyword action. Look at Vault Robber from Kaldheim.

The name and ability need more specificity. The fact that there’s excessive room for flavor text with none there is disappointing as well. Without those aspects, I’m afraid there’s not much criticism I can give for the card OR the mechanic here.

@casualcranium — Chessmaster’s Ploy

I’m going to assume that Stratagem is about cards that benefit more from when an opponent attacked. So, there’s an inherent gameplay quirk, and by quirk I mean problem, and that problem is human nature. In a set where it’s known that there’s a greater-than-average as-fan of cards that benefit your opponent if you attack them, it discourages attacking, which is a thing that players want to do. I don’t believe that that’s the best course of action here for directly interactive cards. It can go on instants, flash creatures, and some abilities, which is fine, but feels significantly limiting in some ways? It’s a very reactive mechanic.

This card’s a little bit of an odd duck, too. So wait, is stratagem more of an if-otherwise mechanic? Or is it just “if an opponent attacked, benefit” mechanic? I actually don’t know right now. But I do appreciate the perfect vs. imperfect game bit of trivia in the flavor text, even if it is a bit heavy-handed. I think that a tiny bit of explanation as to the specifics of Stratagem, maybe with a common or uncommon example, could further help my understanding of how you’d like this mechanic to play out. Curious how you’re using red to talk about strategy, considering that, well, it’s Red.

@curiooftheheart — Ramunap Scrounger (JUDGE PICK)

I didn’t get the chance to draft much Amonkhet, but I did explore the environment a bit. With the cycling deserts, Evolving Wilds, a fair amount of discard, and some mill to boot, I can say with certainty that this might be a fun little mechanic. The thing about, say, Delirium was that in limited people think of instants, sorceries, and creatures as mainly hitting the graveyard, and then what’s the last type to go? Strictly land cards is certainly more focused, and I can understand the notion of nomadic lifestyles as a way to show the “been explored” aspect. I think it’s certainly narrow, and there was middling enthusiasm in chat for it.

But personally, I think it would play quite well in the right limited environment and that there would be quite a bit of payoff for it. And, what I like is that it would change the way that players think about selective graveyard exile. What do you take out, the creatures that your opponent is going to get back with embalming, or the land cards that are enabling their Nomadic creatures right now? It’s an interesting take that’s got a bit of grandfathering behind it, which personally? I think is awesome.

@deg99 — Jukai Shrinekeeper

Combining cards-in-cards, shrines, and arcane is asking a lot. Let’s rewind. I think that I was going to be extremely harsh on this card because, frankly, this metaphorical basket that used to hold eggs looks more like a David Cron-egg-berg prop, but there’s the concept that’s still interesting. The idea of adding abilities to spells is not new from splice, sure. The fact that you’re adding them as part of this card is complex but not impossible.

The issue that’s tacked onto Arcane spells is that they’re pretty parasitic, and MTG’s been shying away from that. Implying an as-fan of an already unpopular-nigh-failed mechanic is admirable, but I’m skeptical of the eventual execution. This card’s banking on a lot of stars aligning. Sometimes, you can have these little archetypes, sure, that’s understandable, and a limited environment can support that. I don’t believe that a mechanic solely based around “fixed” splice-onto-arcane is where we want to be; it feels like there’s little meaningful change to a concept that needs a complete overhaul.

@dimestoretajic — Burrowing Badger

I really like this card, and I like this mechanic, and I still don’t think it’s fantastically interesting. Here’s the thing, though: I do like the potential concept of dig payoffs. Like, “Whenever you dig, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control” or something. BTW, it should be “a” instead of “one” but that’s small potatoes. Is this mechanic supposed to be... Well, no, here’s the thing: what does this mechanic do outside of green? Green’s the primary and only color with this sort of effect in-pie. Is it only supposed to show up on green cards?

When thinking about how to expand it, I imagined that, well, you can dig for a certain land type or card type, you can dig for an artifact or a Plains or whatever. Is that really something that needs to be keyworded, though? If you had shown me a card where that was the case, I believe I would have been able to defend it more. Thinking about what it means in a broader sense, maybe it could use either a more unique angle or maybe not to be keyworded unless there’s some big payoff. Small note: in the flavor text, you want a colon, not ellipses. The dot-dot-dot is a pause in time, and the colon is a declamation.

@fractured-infinity — Dwarven Sword Scholar

The idea of, like, ghost auras is cool. I like that. Let’s talk about execution and what to do with it. Exiling from your graveyard onto target creature is probably the best course of action. There might be a little baggage, and, uh, there’s a couple small wording errors I’d change. I would write it as: “Legacy {cost} ({cost], Exile this card from your graveyard: Target creature gains all of this card’s abilities for as long as this card remains exiled.” Why does it have to be only as a sorcery, too? You can use it as a combat trick.

Name and flavor feel a little more concept-oriented, and that’s fine. It changes up combat and abilities, you can beef stuff up, and you can even have some creatures that care about legacy cards exiled with them, y’know? There are a few possibilities. Can’t say I’m staggered but it’s a standard, reasonable idea that I can totally understand.

@ghoulcalculator64 — Menial Taskmage

I’m going to assume that for the scrying part, it cares about each individual card that you looked at because otherwise it would say “one or more cards while scrying.” So that makes sense! In general, I’m very curious how you imagine this format. Eldraine’s double-draw archetype was quite powerful with cantrips at the right time and was very fast as a result. With this card, I’m a little... I don’t know, it’s just asking a fair amount? I’m curious what a card would look like with some “destine count” stuff. Drawing immediately as your first destine is another thing to keep track of, and that’s, hoo boy, very interesting to consider. Not positive I’m a fan, but it’s a consideration.

I’m still very on the fence, but in a good way! I think the reason is that I still can’t see the way that this would glue a set, or how it would play as part of a red archetype. It certainly seems more blue, but black’s got the discard, green has scrying, white has...cards in it, all that stuff. I’d like to hear more about the broader ideas for this from you. I also saw some hubbub about the FT; I praise the intention, and suggest paring to maximize impact.

@gollumni — Sapsucker Butterfly

Concept, cool. Art, great. Gameplay, grindy as hell, oh my goodness. So if I have the Cocoon archetype, I’m playing my cards, then on my turn, exiling to make cocoons. They chump for me, then the creature returns, and next turn, I play a land, make another cocoon from the creature that returned, which chumped, and so on and so forth, and my creatures effectively never die. I make cocoons, I boardwipe, they play things, chump, rinse, repeat. This is effectively the most miserable form of undeath possible.

I doubt that was your intention; if it was, consider the above, and if not, well, how else could we work it? Cocooning as an alternate cost could work, perhaps, or sacrifice after a certain set of turns, etc. But the death-return-etc. is too much of a pain in the butt as it stands.

@helloijustreadyourpost — Gruul Ragestoker (JUDGE PICK)

Once again, I like this mechanic a lot, and I’m kind of in the minority here. I can see a few weirdnesses involved, primarily the fact that it’s another kind of counter to the litany of counters MTG’s added over the past yonks, and it was mentioned that these could be +2/+0 counters—but, you know, I disagree with the second point, partially because of the novelty of it all. What happens when a wall is furious? Nothing, because it (usually) can’t attack. Fury is active. I’m a fan of that.

So, could we infuriate things? Perhaps they force an attack but give a buff, like goad but simpler and a little more beefy. You can make your creatures infuriated multiple times, perhaps, or just once, but the intention here is getting bigger, hm. You want it to stack, no? That’s another small issue that I can see you using counters to resolve, I get that. I think this is indeed a mechanic that would be fun to play around with, and it’s very Gruul. It also should be worded “Attacking creatures get +2/+0 for each fury counter on them.” See Crescendo of War, IIRC.

@hiygamer — Loyal Bodyguard

This card probably technically works. This card groks horribly. I understand that the rules and zones are what make this mechanic viable, but it’s so utterly unintuitive. I’m writing this, again, from the perspective of someone who has to teach rules to kids and (on occasion) new LGS players alike. If this was some kind of world like the playtest cards from Mystery Booster then I would be a little intrigued for sure. For a premier set, I can’t ever imagine this seeing print.

If I’m reading your intentions correctly, then I’d advise you to consider the perspective of the common player and design from a point where, having established a number of rules, //Magic//’s streamlined perspective allows for corner cases to be the exception rather than the rule. By making a loophole a rule, you undermine the integrity of how to present the game’s body of knowledge. Does that make sense? I...understand if this is esoteric, but I hope the gist comes across.

@hypexion — Starfall Incursion

Naturally, this feels like a callback to Epic, and I feel that it’s a little too similar to pull away, even if this is a fairly “fixed” version. I get having the small amount of mechanically unique rare cards (like how we’re seeing compleated Planeswalkers) so that checks out. You might indeed be using “awesome” in the classical sense, and ya know what? I dig it, I think that’s a fair thing to do.

I have a couple suggestions, because there’s a point to be made about a card like this. Firstly, free giant creatures are big enough to really go crazy so consider upping the cost a little. And secondly, I’d also make it exile as a modern-day gameplay marker of sorts? Or maybe, hell, you can even put it in the command zone, like a companion. I’d add it so that you only get the ability if you cast it from your hand, too; I know cheating out spells isn’t that common, but it’s worth considering for such a powerful effect. Still, I might be a little abundantly cautious here; worth it for getting a free 4/4 each turn, especially if you have any kind of midrange limited deck, after a big blowout in removal-heavy colors. Good stuff. I think Timmy would like to play this card.

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes — Hurried Researcher

The limitations of this mechanic aren’t worth the keywording. That’s the bottom line. I can’t ever see a scenario in which this is something that would hold a set together. But, again, let’s go back to intention. I imagine, and correct me if I’m wrong, that you envisioned a mechanic that would solve a problem for tap abilities and make them more powerful. Maybe? The issue is that that’s not an issue. Summoning sickness on tap abilities is a function of the game. Pseudo-haste on a select few cards is understandable, but why as a keyword?

In my own time, I thought of a burst action keyword that had creatures with activated or triggered abilities, but those abilities were more powerful if they activated/triggered the turn they entered the battlefield. That’s one possibility, because it could go on a number of different permanents with a benefit that changes the flow of gameplay. This keyword currently reads in essence, “This creature has haste except it can’t attack the turn it comes out.” It’s not enough to hold anything together.

@little-red-rabbit — Sunbloom Eternal

You know what, I don’t have an clear rules understanding of how basic lands can exist on the flipside! Technically I don’t know if there’s anything against it, but it feels like there might be in some limited deckbuilding compendium. That’s a gray area; I would caution you against the “basic” type there for that reason, but transforming into a land is interesting as a keyword.

With that, I believe the reminder text can simply read: “When this creature dies, return it to the battlefield transformed under its owner’s control.” Because it’s transforming, it’s implied already that it can’t be played as a land. As a mechanic, I can imagine the different ways in which this changes mana-fixing, a hybrid card that can transform into a Forest in a red deck splashing green, for example. Quite interesting how you’re using the color of damage and the land of bloom. What other blooms could there be for different lands?

Last notes: don’t forget to put commas after the clauses (in this cast, after “blocked”), capitalize types like Mountain, and put a period after the flavor text (and, well, you can take out the comma in the FT too). In my opinion, you don’t need this particular card to only have damage dealt by basic Mountains. Just land types are fine, because unless you’re playing Taigas, you’re already being kind of punished. Nonbasics with a single type could work in this theoretical environment. You’ve made me think a lot!

@nicolbolas96 — Runaway Tank

Yannow, I’m a little amused (in a curious way, not a condescending way) by how people used stun counters this week, as if they’re theoretically deciduous. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s just interesting to note! And that’s my only major mark against this card, because it’s puling from a resource that I don’t think it necessarily needs—in part because it’s very strong on its own. You can just add a “doesn’t untap” clause to the reminder text instead of a counter, but I also see the ingenuity of having a counter put on as a cost.

The circumventing of crew is neat, actually. I wonder if this mechanic is just too narrow, though. How much space is there in “bonus crewing?” For a single set, I can see a fun environment about vehicles that attacked that weren’t crewed. Ha! Oh, man, that’s actually really funny. This whole card is wholesome and thoughtful in its design! I like the way people are thinking about artifacts this week. It’s possible that I’m just being somewhat eh on the narrowness of things even though, if this was for a single set or block, it would be fun to play. A return to Kaladesh in the midst of chaos with new vehicles rising up? Yeah, that would be kind of cool! I’ve lost the plot a little. Hey, remember when I said I wanted to write shorter commentary? Argh. Too many good ideas, folks, you’re killin’ me.

@nine-effing-hells — Soul of Winds

Blink is the enemy of a lot of things. To get around that, I would word this ability as “{cost}: Return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield. Exile it as it enters the battlefield.” But even that’s clunky, hrm. That’s really the problem: triggers on the stack allowing for these ghostly things to stick around is a pain. Oh! What if it was just a Spirit token? Like some kind of unearthly embalming. “{cost}: Exile this card from your graveyard, then create a token that’s a copy of it. Exile that token when it enters the battlefield.”

I guess that’s the issue with something like Unearth, because Unearth stops those shenanigans and will remain in exile. This is pseudo-unearth-evoke in a lot of ways and I don’t really know what to do with it to get it the exact way you want and stop the dumb Cloudshiftiness that accompanies cards like this. It’s a problem with the game, not with you or your card. And it’s a good card, too. It’s something to keep in mind when designing abilities like this, how nothing’s quite in a vacuum. You could keep it as-is, but the card would have to be less powerful due to precedent.

@pocketvikings — Martial Mentor

I was never a fan of ability counters for clutter. This hasn’t changed my mind on type counters, either. It’s technically a new idea. Given the examples and expectations for this contest, there’s not much I can add beyond what the card already says.

Okay, what’s another scenario? Let’s think about a new way this could have been presented. Imagine this same general concept, except it has an attack trigger, where creatures you control gain first strike until end of turn, and attacking Warriors you control gain an additional +1/+1 on top of that. There, that changes where you put your counters and ups combat. Just with this, there’s almost no discernable difference between playing this with a Warrior already on board or giving a +1/+1 counter to a non-Warrior creature. Do consider for future submissions the potential to truly stand out using MTG’s multiple various avenues.

@real-aspen-hours — Coppershell Conduit (JUDGE PICK)

The gist around judge murmurings was that the mechanic was super cool and this card in particular was super could-be-cooler. Now, as an uncommon, it’s solid. With its abilities, it might not have been the most stellar example. (Small note: capitalization and punctuation matter! The wrong “its” in the reminder text is one thing, but I’m grawfing and growling about the other stuff, though that doesn’t affect the main critiques. Good to see you on MSE though!) The reason I say that is because, unless you really need to protect your mana-fixing, I’d rather have this as a blocker or something, honestly. But! The ability to play off-color matters, that’s understandable.

I’d’ve liked to see this with a tap ability centralized in an interactive side of things. Like, imagine a black creature with menace that can either give another creature menace for a black activation OR for a colorless activation with a colorless Monument cost! Oh, wait, hold on, what about an activated ability that does different things if the source is or isn’t a creature? See, I want to play with this for sure. I think it’s stellar utilization that gets players to think about what the advantages of activated abilities are, changing the way they use their cards. So hold onto this one for the eventual apparently-artifact-centric IF Cube!

@reaperfromtheabyss — Arvin, Will of the Masses

You guys have gotta stop giving me husband material. Additionally, this is another example of the eggs-basket-overflow-error. ... Actually, that idiom works for submissions but less so in a general context. Maybe this is more a “bells and whistles” situation. Brave of you to submit a planeswalker for a new mechanic contest, though. I think it was shield counters that pushed my over the line. I don’t mind shield counters, and the way that MTG is going, quite frankly this card isn’t unprintable (much to my chagrin). We’re not here to talk about the card and the way that the last ability should read “Destroy all nontoken creatures” ARGH but instead, Populist.

It’s great! What else is there to say? Caring about tokens is cool, it’s cute, it’s related to populate and might even be too close of a name but I can see the way that creatures and abilities that care about tokens can impact and exist in limited in a fun way. Protecting and making tokens matters to Selesnya anyway and as for the rest of it, swell. Ravnica mechanics kind of gravitate towards that, don’t they? Really simple, really fun, really understandable. So yeah, future submissions, maybe cut down on the big ideas when a simpler one can support your already excellent idea. And I know this ain’t the first time I’ve groused about wording precedent, so consider this a well-natured knuckle tapping.

@shakeszx — The Mire-Scale Terror

Let’s start with the biggest criticism: this card doesn’t work in layers. Abilities come in a different layer than P/T checks. The way you can mitigate that is by using the number of +1/+1 counters instead. “As long as X, ~ has Y.” But no, unfortunately, abilities are weird. Then, the good: I think grow is an interesting concept. The name is pretty uninteresting and evokes hand-waggling, but I think that the way you have to may more to get more, is cool. The first growth starting at 0 cost is a bit...hm. Maybe it should enter with a counter.

Imagine, though! Cards that enter with a counter and then you can spend mana early to really beef them or wait later until you have more board presence. I like that. I don’t know if you considered the 0-cost first growth, but aside from that, it’s fairly solid. Gotta regulate the bestial presence.

@snugz — Fulguration Helix

It’s fascinating that two people independently came up with counter-remove-cost-paying effects this week. The difference between them is twofold. One, the ability that removes just +1/+1 counters was far more streamlined. Two, this card just doesn’t grip as much. I certainly didn’t know fulguration off the top of my head, but I could kind of understand what it does. What about that has to do with imbuing, though? It’s a tough spot to be in, I’ll admit.

But I understand the process behind it, that’s for certain, and it’s still a commendably imaginative mechanic. So I think the questions to ask for the future are: what environment am I imagining this in? What limitations do I start with, and how do I foresee that playing out here before bringing the concept into the larger world of //Magic’s// history? All counters is one thing, as is all permanents. Maybe narrow that down a bit, because the interactions that come about are just as interesting, and you’d be surprised how much depth there is in simplicity.

@squeezyboi — Cursed Revolver (JUDGE PICK)

This one got some weird love. Like a weird amount. And I’m for it. I think that it’s also not the most necessary keyword despite being a very cool card. Here’s the thing: Something like Reckoner Bankbuster wouldn’t use this keyword despite being basically the same thing, right? But I guess there’s the argument to be made about land-based abilities without landfall. For something this simple, though, maybe there’s something to be said for the blaster aspect. Search for a blaster. My blaster’s out of ammo! I need to get more ammo in my blaster, here’s a creature that refills ammo!

...dammit, that IS fun, isn’t it. I am sending a mild cloud of psychic frustration your direction for making my unironically want firearms in my fantasy wizard game. (Then again, I play Karn-bot, so w/e.) As a mechanic it’s not going to break brains like mutate. I think blasters could be a fun addition in an Outer Wilds-y set that I’d grouse about when it came out. This card’s exciting, yeah, so there’s that too. Weird, though, with how combat works, right? Like, it’s the creatures that are attacking, not necessarily their weapons. Does that limit how Magic works in the grand scheme? Are guns more like pinpointing auras?? I have to sit down.

@starch255 — Cloven Chevalier (JUDGE PICK)

Flo. My captain. My shining frog star. I hope you know that I’ve played MTG against chess players, and the amount that they would enjoy a card like this pains me. It’s incredible, and at the same time hhhhhhoooo my God. “How are you assigning your blocks?” “I DON’T KNOW.” And I love it, provided I never have to play against anyone even remotely smarter than me, which is a staggering amount of people.

In all seriousness, though, this is a fascinating mechanic! My main critique is only that it makes combat significantly more complicated, complicated enough that I question how complex the rest of the set even could be all things considered. It’s a fascinating foray into chess that I think chess players would enjoy, and the blending of known board information with combat tricks and decisive cover means that people will have to think ten steps ahead on board in a way that drastically increases brain-hurty-feel-goody juice. Like how I feel writing that last sentence! I can’t endorse this with exaggerated enthusiasm because of those complications, but let it never be said that you withhold your craftiness.

@wolkemesser — Tavern Strummer

Yeah, here we go with the main issue: unless you’re hasting one of your own small creatures for some reason, this is a card that discourages your opponents from playing things, because the environment isn’t about “I want to play cards” but rather “I have to build around a Bard mechanic that prevents me from curving out and discourages optimal deck-building.” I don’t think that’s the most conducive way to form a set. I know it’s not.

Consider when you’re making mechanics the idea of what you’re playing with and against, and how mechanics imply larger themes. Like I mentioned in the Monday post with one of Maro’s answers, players want to be rewarded for doing things they want to do. Mechanics like this that go against that principle, with a punishing baseline, paint a larger picture of discouragement, despite the small potential knowns of threatening effects in limited. I know Act of Treason is there, but I don’t expect to be playing Act of Treason: The Set.

@yd12k — Rock the Boat

We were working on this mechanic a little bit in the judge’s hubbubble, because there were some likes with it, all of which I shot down by grousing. This mechanic resembles madness in a way, and at the same time, it doesn’t account for what makes madness actually good. Madness benefits from having the ability to draw and discard, by having an environment that supports your hand as a resource for changing tides of card advantage. You can anticipate it because it’s known to you. Your library is a great unknown, so how do you anticipate milling a card with whirl? Unless you’re Scryfall McScrypants, there’s no chance in hell.

So what can we do instead? Let’s consider a mechanic where, when this card gets milled, you exile it and may cast it FROM exile for its whirl cost until the end of your next turn. Maybe not the best name, but it’s more viable, no? Encourages a little self-mill and prevents mill from being totally a death sentence for your resources. Consider the ways in which resource setup/payoff affects these things. Also, like I mentioned above, what’s up with stun counters? Y’all wildin. Now I’m nervous that they got announced as deciduous and I just missed it.

Anyway, that was longer than I had hoped, but you guys gave me a lot. Can’t be mad about that, can I? Tune in tomorrow, like a radio, like a conversation. It’s good to learn with you all.

@abzleumi

#new mechanic contest #commentary #mtg #magic the gathering #custom magic card #inventor's fair

8 notes · View notes