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wolf-queer-discourse · 3 years

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Adventures in Aphobia #2

It is absolutely tragic that I’m already adding to Adventures in Aphobia, but here we are again! Let’s get a look at the phenomenal post I will be addressing.

Hope you enjoyed reading that as much as I did. You know, the biggest joke of this whole post is the poster thinking ace people feel comfortable on Tumblr. I promise you they do not XD.

It’s funny how when queer sub-groups complain about bigotry faced from the broader community (this happens a LOT with bi and ace people, but I’ve seen it happen to trans people too), the bigoted queer people immediately call YOU the bigot because they’re actually more oppressed than you, which means they get to say whatever they want. I’m not going to even entertain the oppression olympics on this one.

The answer as to who’s more oppressed always boils down to: it depends, in what way, and why does this matter?

There are a TON of transphobic gay people who throw their hands up when they get called out for their behavior and decry, “But I’m gay! You’re not oppressed for thinking you’re a boy!!”

And honestly, some aphobes do want ace people dead, and not all homophobes want gay people dead. Why are ace people one of the only groups in the queer community who has to personally confess to almost being murdered, disowned, r*ped and stabbed all in the same day to have any of their struggles taken seriously?? Do you make gay people do this too, or do you ever just believe them?

It’s incredible that some people’s entire queer identity is rooted in the fact they’ve been murdered or disowned before, as if the second you’re not being beaten in the streets, do you really face any struggles? There are gay people who haven’t been disowned or killed (obviously). They’re still gay, and they can still talk about homophobia without being mocked for it.

Bonus points for this poster, in what must be purposeful assholery, not even using a standard, accepted definition of what it means to be asexual. “Oppressed for not having sex”. Yes, because “not having sex” is the definition of asexuality. I mean, God, at least be original and come up with a banger instead of this lazy insult.

And if you needed any more proof this poster hates asexual people take a look at their do not follow list!

Imagine...literally being offended by someone believing ace people are oppressed. If you had room for this shit in your bio, you certainly had room for “spineless bigot” somewhere. Alas…

And uh, thinking minors can be ace is also a DNF-worthy offense?? Oh boy. I hate even having to explain this, but...sexual attraction does not ship to your doorstep on your 18th birthday. I know, I’m bummed too, but that’s just how it is. For real though, there’s no argument to saying minors can’t be ace. Trick question, but not really: can minors experience sexual attraction? Obviously yes. Have you met a teenager? It’s insane that aphobes will argue asexual people are sexualizing children by allowing them the right to define their own feelings. And they always use straw men like that there are seven-year-olds identifying as asexual. Bitch, where? Even if you could search the planet and find me one, you wouldn’t be making a point.

“BUT WHAT IF THEY EXPERIENCE SEXUAL ATTRACTION LATER?”

Gasp, a person changing their label later in life? The horror! How ever will they cancel their subscription? Aphobes, people change labels all the time. None of y’all seem this pressed when a lesbian later identifies as bisexual. I promise it’s okay.

There is literally nothing predatory about acknowledging minors can feel sexual attraction. Not only is it a fact provable but a five-second stint at any high school, but if you really think that’s creepy...that says more about you than anyone else. Just because minors experience sexual attraction doesn’t mean creepy-ass adults can take advantage of them.

Also...love that this poster said “LGBT aces are fine obv”. Is it obvious?? God, I love how aphobes will literally foam at the mouth about how asexual people are a bunch of attention-seeking, pedophiles who are trying to recruit children then immediately tag on a quick “but of course I support LGBT aces!!”. Are these people really so fucking thick they think their words don’t apply to bi, gay and trans aces?? I have yet to meet a single gay, bi or trans ace who feels positively about ace exclusionists. Your rhetoric inherently harms all ace people because it doesn’t give gay, bi and trans aces room to talk about their aphobic experiences. You don’t get to only support one part of their queer identity and expect a pat on the back. You’re a fucking aphobe, and you can’t cozy that up with your empty words of support for only the “good” aces.

#remember that bigots deserve to be laughed at #they can be the sillest!#discourse #queer discourse #LGBT discourse #Adventures in Aphobia #ace discourse #asexual discourse #aphobia #ace discrimination #asexual #asexuality #LGBT #queer #ace #rant

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greatfay · 3 years

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controversial opinions?

Cold pizza actually not good. Tastes like angry bacteria.

There’s a completely separate class of gay men who are in a different, rainbow-tinted plane of reality from the rest of us and I don’t like them. They push for “acceptance” via commercialization of the Pride movement, assimilation through over-exposure, and focus on sexualizing the movement to be “provocative” and writing annoying articles that reek of class privilege instead of something actually important like lgbtqa youth homelessness, job discrimination, and mental health awareness.

Coleslaw is good. You guys just suck in the kitchen.

Generational divides ARE real: a 16-year-old and a 60-year-old right now in 2021 could agree on every hot button sociopolitical topic and yet not even realize it because they communicate in entirely different ways.

Sam Wilson is a power bottom. No I will not elaborate.

Allison’s makeover in The Breakfast Club good, not bad. She kept literally and metaphorically dumping her trash out onto the table and it’s clearly a cry for help. Having the attention and affection of a smart, pretty girl doing her makeup for her was sweet and helped her open up to new experiences. Not every loner wants to BE a loner (see: Bender, who is fine being a lone wolf).

Movie/show recommendations that start with a detailed “representation” list read like status-effecting gear in an RPG and it’s actually a turn-off for me. I have to force myself to give something a try in spite of it.

Yelling at people to just “learn a new language” because clearly everyone who isn’t you and your immediate vicinity of friends must be a lazy ignorant white American is so fucking stupid, like I get it, you’re mad someone doesn’t immediately know how to pronounce your name or what something means. But I know 2 languages and am struggling with a 3rd when I can between 2 jobs and quite frankly, I don’t have the time to just absorb the entire kanji system into my brain to learn Japanese by tomorrow night, or suddenly learn Arabic or Welsh. There are 6500 recorded languages in the world, what’s the chance that one of 3 I’ve learn(ed?) is the one you’re yelling at me about. Yes this is referring to that post yelling at people for not knowing how to pronounce obscure Irish names and words. Sometimes just explaining something instead of admonishing people for not knowing something inherently in the belief that everyone must be lazy entitled privileged people is uh... better?

Stop fucking yelling at people. I despise feeling like someone is yelling at me or scolding me, it triggers my Violence Mode, you don’t run me, you are not God, fuck off. Worst fucking way to "educate” people, it just feels good in the moment to say or write and doesn’t help. Yes I’ve done it before.

Violence is good actually.

Characters doing bad things ≠ an endorsement of bad things. Characters doing bad things that are unquestioned by the entire rest of the cast = endorsement of bad things, or at the least, a power fantasy by the creator. See: Glee, in which Sue’s awfulness is constantly called out, while Mr. Shue’s awfulness rarely is because he’s “the hero.” See also: the Lightbringer series, in which the protagonist is a violent manipulator who is praised as clever, charming, diplomatic, and genius by every supporting character (enemies included), despite the text never demonstrating such.

Euphoria is good, actually. It falls into this niche of the past decade of “dark gritty teen shows” but actually has substance behind it, but the general vibe I get from passive-aggressive tumblr posts from casual viewers is that this show is The Devil, and the criticism of its racier content screams pearl-clutching “what about the children??” to me.

Describing all diagnosed psychopaths as violent criminals is a damaging slippery slope, sure. But I won’t be mad at anyone for inherently distrusting another human who does not have the ability to feel guilt and remorse, empathy, is a pathological liar, or proves to be cunning and manipulative.

It’s actually not easy to unconditionally support and love everyone everywhere when you’ve actually experienced the World. Your perspective and values will be challenged as you encounter difficult people, experience hardship, are torn between conflicting ideas and commitments, and fail. My vow to never ever call the cops on another black person was challenged when an employee’s boyfriend marched into the kitchen OF AN ESTABLISHMENT to scream at her, in a BUSINESS I MANAGED, and threaten to BEAT the SHIT out of her. Turns out I can hate cops and hate that motherfucker equally, I am more than capable of both.

Defending makeup culture bad, actually. Enjoy it, experiment, master it, but don’t paint it as something other than upholding exactly what they want from you. Even using makeup to “defy the heteropatriarchal oppressors!” is still putting cash in their pockets, no matter how camp...

Not every villain needs to be redeemed, some of you just never outgrew projecting yourself onto monsters and killers.

Writing teams and networks queerbaiting is not the same as individuals queerbaiting. Nick Jonas performing exclusively at gay clubs to generate an audience really isn’t criminal; if they paid to go see him, that’s on them, he didn’t promise anyone anything other than music and a show. Do not paint this as similar to wealthy, bigoted executives and writing teams trying to snatch up the LGBTQA demographic with vague ass marketing and manipulative screenplays, only to cop out so as not to alienate their conservative audiences. And ESPECIALLY when the artists/actors/creators accused of queerbaiting or lezploitation then come out as queer in some form later on.

Queer is not a bad word, and I’ve no clue how that remains one of few words hurled at LGBTQA people that can’t be reclaimed. It’s so archaic and underused at this point that I don’t get the reaction to it compared to others.

People who defend grown-woman Lorelai Gilmore’s childish actions and in the same breath heavily criticize teenage religious abuse victim Lane Kim’s actions are not to be trusted. Also Lane deserved better.

Keep your realism out of my media, or at least make it tonally consistent. Tired of shows and movies and books where some gritty, dark shit comes out of nowhere when the narrative was relatively Romantic beforehand.

Actually people should be writing characters different from themselves, this new wave in the past year of “If you aren’t [X] you shouldn’t be writing [X]” is a complete leap backward from the 2010s media diversity movement. And if [X] has to do with an invisible minority status (not immediately visible disabilities, or diverse sexual orientations and gender identities, persecuted religious affiliations, mental illness) it’s actually quite fucked up to assume the creator can’t be whatever [X] is or to demand receipts or details of someone’s personal life to then grant them “permission” to create something. I know, we’re upset an actual gay actor wasn’t casted to play this gay character, so let’s give them shit about it: and not lose a wink of sleep when 2 years later, this very actor comes out and gives a detailed account of the pressure to stay closeted if they wanted success in Hollywood.

Projecting an actor’s personal romantic life and gender identity onto the characters they play is actually many levels of fucked up, and not cute or funny. See: reinterpreting every character Elliot Page has played through a sapphic lens, and insulting his ability to play straight characters while straight actors play actual caricatures of us (See also: Jared Leto. Fuck him).

I’m fucking sick of DaBaby, he sucks. “I shot somebody, she suck my peepee” that’s 90% of whatever he raps about.

“Political Correctness” is not new. It was, at one point, unacceptable to walk into a fine establishment and inform the proprietor that you love a nice firm pair of tits in your face. 60 years ago, such a statement would get you throw out and possibly arrested under suspicion of public intoxication. But then something happened and I blame Woodstock and Nixon. And now I have to explain to a man 40 years my senior that no, you can’t casually mention to the staff here, many of whom are children, how you haven’t had a good fuck in a while. And then rant about the “Chinese who gave us the virus.” Can’t be that upset with them if you then refused to wear your mask for 20 minutes.

Triggering content should not have a blanket ban; trigger warnings are enough, and those who campaign otherwise need to understand the difference between helping people and taking away their agency. 13 Reasons Why inspired this one. Absolutely shitty show, sure, but it’s a choice to watch it knowing exactly what it contains.

Sasuke’s not a fucking INTJ, he’s an ISFP whose every decision is based off in-the-moment feelings and proves incapable of detailed and logical planning to accomplish his larger goals.

MCU critique manages to be both spot-on and pointless. Amazing stories have been told with these characters over the course of decades; but most of it is toilet paper. Expecting a Marvel movie to be a deeply detailed examination of American nationalism and imperialism painted with a colorful gauze of avant-garde film technique is like expecting filet mignon from McDonalds. Scarf down your quarter pounder or gtfo.

Disparagingly comparing the popularity and (marginal) success of BLM to another movement is anti-black. It is not only possible but also easy to ask for people’s support without throwing in “you all supported BLM for black people but won’t show support for [insert group]” how about you keep our name out your mouth? Black people owe the rest of the world nothing tbh until yall root out the anti-blackness in your own communities.

It is the personal demon/tragic flaw of every cis gay/bi/pan man to externalize and exorcize Shame: I’m talking about the innate compulsion to Shame, especially in the name of Pride and Progress. Shame for socioeconomic “success,” shame for status of outness, shame for fitness and health, shame for looks, shame for style and dress, shame for how one fits into the gender binary, shame for sexual positions and intimacy preferences, shame for fucking music tastes. Put down the weapon that They used to beat you. Becoming the Beater is not growth, it’s the worst-case scenario.

Works by minorities do not have to be focused on their marginalized identities. Some ladies want to ride dragons AND other ladies. The pressure on minorities to create the Next Great Minority Character Study that will inevitably get snuffed at the Oscars/Peabody Awards is some bullshit when straight white dudes walk around shitting out mediocre screenplays and books.

Canadians can stfu about how the US is handling COVID-19 actually. Love most of yall, but the number of Canadian snowbirds on vacation (VACATION??? VA.CAT.ION.) in the supposed “hotbed” of my region that I’ve had to inform our mask policies and social distancing to is ASTOUNDING. Incroyable! I guess your country has a sizable population of entitled, privileged, inconsiderate, wealthy, and ignorant people making things difficult for everyone, just like mine :)

No trick to eliminate glasses fog while wearing my mask has worked, not a single one, it actually has affected my job and work speed and is incredibly frustrating, and I have to deal with it and pretend it’s not a problem while still encouraging others to follow the rules for everyone’s safety and the cognitive dissonance is driving me insane.

It’s really really really not anti-Japanese... to be uncomfortable with the rampant pedophilia in manga and anime, and voice this. I really can’t compare western animation’s sneakier bullshit with pantyshots of a 12-year-old girl.

Most of the people in the cottagecore aesthetic/tag have zero interest in all the hard work that comes with maintaining an isolated property in the countryside, milking cows and tending crops before sunrise, etc. And that’s okay? They just like flowers and pretty pottery and homemade pastries. Idk where discourse about this came from.

You think mint chip ice-cream tastes like toothpaste because you’re missing a receptor that can distinguish the flavors, and that sucks for you. It’s a sort of “taste-blindness” that can make gum spicy to some while others can eat a ghost pepper without crying.

Being a spectacle for the oppressive class doesn’t make them respect us, it makes them unafraid of us. This means they continue to devour us, but without fear of our retaliation.

Only like 4 people on tumblr dot com are actually prepared for the full ramifications of an actual revolution. The rest of you just really imprinted onto Katniss, or grew up in the suburbs.

Straight crushes are normal. They’re people first, sexual orientation second. Can’t always know.

The road to body positivity is not easy, especially if what you desire is what you aren’t.

You’re actually personally responsible for not voluntarily bringing yourself into an environment that you know is not fit for you unless you have the resolve to manage it. Can’t break a glass ceiling without getting a few cuts. This one’s a shoutout to my homophobic temp coworkers who decided working a venue with a drag show would be a good idea. This is also is a shoutout to people who want to make waves but are surprised when the boat tips. And also a shoutout to people who—wait that’s it’s own controversial opinion hold up.

Straight people can and should stay the fuck out of gay bars and queer spaces. “yoUrE bEInG diVisiVe” go fuck yourself.

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lifewithchronicpain-original · 4 years

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Long post ahead, but I need to address this so I can move on.

Over ten years ago, I was really into atheism and debating theology on an atheist forum, and became popular as their first female member and eventually rose to moderator then administrator, setting up a lot of rules that they still have up posted in my username. I always find that funny.

I felt like I had met a great group of people with leftist politics and all that. I felt special because I was basically their token female until the forum gained more popularity. And then the owner added a kudos system to rate someone’s popularity and I was given many kudos for being able to argue against religion, mostly Christianity, so well and I even met up with the owner at Dragon*con one year.

Then a thread got into the topic of sexual objectification and this spiraled into an unpleasant discussion about rape culture. The same men I thought who appreciated what I had to say just didn’t listen anymore and I was viewed as being ridiculous. One was so offended he started putting typical MRA jokes in his signature. Also the guy I met decided he was now libertarian and whole heartedly believed regulation caused the 08’ crash. :/ I remember another guy on Facebook from my local atheist group agreeing with those men when I brought it up; and then said “oh come on, I’m an atheist, you know I’m not sexist!”

I was now facing the fact that this group of people I had enjoyed spending my time with online for about two years might praise me now, but when I would tread into territory that could make men face how they treat women, I was shut down and told a woman in a mini skirt is Just like a rich man with a visible wad of $100s in his back pocket. I was quickly understanding for the first time why there aren’t more women and POC in these “new atheist” groups. They thought their lack of religion immunized them because they blamed religion for racism and sexism. Conveniently ignoring they also believe religion was created by men and thus promoting their already established views of women and other races. Funny that.

At the same time (we had a few women on board but they were avoiding that conversation) a woman joined and spoke up. They ripped into her. I had the comfy cushion of my status, she had none. She was given all the negative kudos and when I talked to her privately I found out she was also a survivor.

I was facing so many arguments I knew were wrong but couldn’t fully articulate. That’s when I discovered what rape culture, as well as the Just world theory. That’s when I changed from becoming a feminist in label to a feminist in deeds and thoughts. I learned the responses to their arguments and then I learned I also don’t want to waste another minute on these men. I posted my goodbye explaining their responses have caused a lack of trust I can never get past because they refuse to even see how their so-called reason left the room when they started dealing with sexism.

The only man who defended me was the lone Christian who for some reason liked hanging out there. There was also a trans women there, she was very happy to agree with the men’s victim blaming and I never understood that. But it also taught me you can’t expect to know someone’s full politics just because you happen to agree or disagree on the issue of god, or really on anything.

I learned that belonging to a group of people on the surface doesn’t mean we’re all lock-step in ageeememt over every issue. I learned I can’t trust anyone who treats relationships and sex as something they deserve and not something you enter with mutual respect for boundaries. I’m not denying it hurts to be rejected and people can be rejected on prejudicial biases, but it’s still a situation that requires mutual consent and you can’t force that on people by calling them bigots. Shaming a woman into having sex with you because otherwise you’ll call her out, is essentially forced consent which is rape. I can’t say it plainer than that.

My consistent insistence that a woman’s boundaries are to be respected, that our sex lives are not political statements to be commented on, and that lesbians owe no one anything has ruffled a lot of feathers.’A lot of people don’t like that. I have seen this from MRA’s to variois online factions of bisexual and trans people (And to be very clear, not all, I don’t like painting a group with one brush) acting like lesbians not sleeping with them is an act of cruelty, a prejudice that must be corrected. In other words, “how dare you not let me get off this is a violation of my civil rights! Lesbians must be so privileged for dating other lesbians!” It’s really fucked up and everywhere on this site. And no, trying to dress it up in woke language like “you should really examine why you don’t like penises” isn’t better. Rather it betrays an obsession with getting penises into lesbians. Not all trans women have one, but that’s too pesky a detail when you’re obsessed with getting dick into a lesbian. And trust me as a lesbian, this is an obsession many people have.

I am seeing the same things that played out before playing out time and again in online spaces, where there’s little cost to being an asshole. People decided an issue is pivotal to their identity or whatever, and do everything they can to “other” people who don’t agree. They use their online social capital to try to shame people. They knowingly post call outs to attack decent people they just don’t agree with. If they can’t chase someone off the platform they’ll make it hell for that person if as much as they can. And they will resort to nasty sexist slurs because to these people nothing is worse than woman with a mind of her own. I’m no longer 25, I don’t seek the approval I used to, I can deal with online anxieties by not engaging. I know to block people and turn off anon. It hurts to be targeted for sure, but ten years later people trying to slander me online is more like water to a duck. But I’m not everyone and ten years ago this kind of online drama could be a suicide inducing event. But they don’t care.

I’m gonna let you in on a secret, the majority of political disagreements are not worth burning down the house and destroying every relationship over. Not only will you have no true friends, you will never challenge your beliefs, your beliefs will stagnate and you will never grow, never learn.

People might read this and assume that because I don’t think sex with a lesbian is a civil right that I must hate trans women. I don’t, that’s not who I am. I know what it’s like to question my gender, I suffer from mild disphoria. I can’t imagine what severe dysphoria is like and I don’t presume to assume what is right for everyone suffering from this. It is terrible, and no one deserves to be treated like shit for it. But that also doesn’t give some people (I emphasize, this is not every trans person’s doing) the right to attack women for talking about sexism, their vagina, pregnancy, or being a lesbian. I couldn’t give a rats ass if a lesbian and trans women get together, I have no right to judge or police that, but it’s okay to police lesbians? That’s fucked up, and let’s not pretend the same standard is applied to gay men, because it 100% is not.

Everyone, no matter the gender, is susceptible to sexism. Calling that out is not me saying I hate trans women, or I want to fight against trans advocacy or anything like that. I just want to talk about sexism and how it affects me as a female lesbian woman. No matter how hard you try, you can’t ID your way out of sexism, just like I, as a white person, cannot ID myself out of the racial bias I was taught from birth. These things are no different to me and has no bearing on me respecting pronouns and promoting issues of trans disability on this blog.

This one issue has painted me as a TERF, when my radical feminism (which I’ve never 100% agree with, one example is bathrooms, just let people pee! When people start monitoring bathrooms I get questioned because I’m GNC) has never been about misgendering and denying the painful realities of dysphoria. I believe and trust we can better understand transmisogyny when we better understand traditional misogyny. If one gender wasn’t so overwhelmingly oppressed I can’t imagine people would have such a knee jerk hateful reaction to trans people. I might think male socialization is a thing, but unlike other people, I don’t attack trans women for our disagreement on this one point. I’ll never make a call out post because I couldn’t make a trans women say what I wanted. I will never ever call anyone a slur either, while I’ve been called a bitch and cunt.

This blog is about disability. All I care about is promoting disability justice, information, and social support. I will always be open to discussing disability as it effects any minority group: POC, female, poor, trans, gay, etc... I’m more than happy to reblog posts regarding trans disability especially with regards to HRT or surgery can effect that. This blog will never be about attacking people and trying to tear them down. I might disagree with people but I won’t try smear someone’s reputation because of it. In recent years I have striven to disagree with people without resorting to insults and assumptions. I’m not perfect but I try.

I have talked before how there are zealous aspects to all groups. You won’t have me denying that radfems can be just as nasty. I condemn any radfem who has treated anyone the way I’m being treated right now. I personally don’t believe that because one trans women did something wrong that it’s okay to misgender all trans women. I am not like that. I’m not so bitter and hateful that I can’t separate one group of assholes from a minority group.

I’ve always been about being the better person, not for the people you hate but for yourself. Holding on to all this hate and negativity, attacking women for daring to state their mind, encouraging people to attack that person, that must be aweful. I can’t, and I won’t be like that. My own mental health couldn’t take it when I did participate in some of these behaviors on my early tumblr experience. Then I realized it was tearing me apart, and that the person on the other end is a human too. I don’t have to like them, but I can respect they have feelings and a world view that wasn’t built just to attack me.

Whether or not you agree with me on a lesbian’s right to bodily autonomy, does that really warrant a response meant to tear a disabled woman down? Are the only people entitled to their own opinions the ones that agree with you?

This matter truly is about sexism whether you believe it or not. I do not actively discuss trans issues on any of my blog. I was targeted for guilt by association (because I can’t follow people I don’t 100% agree with I guess) on main and when asked I said I got nothing against trans women I do have problems with rhetoric that treats sex with a lesbian as a civil right. I was then called out. That is exactly what happened and why I had to shut down questioning and take a break.

This post is to let you all know, I’m back, I’m okay, and this blog will continue with its mission to support disabled people. If you think a disabled women like me who only ever wants to help others, deserves this, then please unfollow. I don’t care how many people follow, I care that the people who do, want to follow me. If you’re a trans woman uncertain if you can bring an issue to me, of course you can. I’m not here to judge anyone, I’m here to give whatever disability advice and support that I can.

So yeah if you can’t understand that disagreements don’t warrant tearing down a person, especially someone who is disabled and has mentioned suicide attempts, then I can’t help you and the unfollow button is right there. If you do or don’t agree with me but think it was fucked up to get called out for, welcome. This blog will return to disability issues and this is the last I’ll be addressing this issue. I’m just going to delete and block people who think calling a disabled woman a cunt is top notch activism. You will not ruin what I’ve built here. You will not cower me. This bitch has been through too much to let anonymous trolls take me down.

Much love to all those who have supported me, it has meant a lot. 💕

#rape culture #call out culture #sexism #feminism #long post

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myselfornow · 5 years

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Real talk for a second....

Let’s real talk for a second....

This is a very important reminder to think before you start shouting something and this of all subjects can be touchy so I want people to look at this from all sides before you jump on me. As 90% percent of what I post or repost is taken from my own experiences I hope that people younger than me can learn from the past. A statement I live by is those ‘those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.’

Those people in 2019 who shout “I am ________” as loud as they can and at nauseating moments I want to explain something. Today in this day and age no one cares. You may have a small number of people who might harass you but you are not fighting for acceptance on a wide spread level you are not fighting for your fellow LGBT+ members you are really cheapening the work your forefathers in the movement really did.

Now those who know me will do a double take and say “what the fuck does this old white cis woman know of our struggles in the community?” And I would easily reply ‘did you just stereotype me?’ Then to go on I know more of the struggle for acceptance in the community than most of you do. Most of you are to young to know what it was like in the 80’s when the struggle was real. People were lynched, beaten, killed, and so much more. Not to mention the torment they had to daily as either it was sink or swim, either you hid in the closet or you were flamboyantly gay. So again you may ask “how the fuck would you know what it was like?”

My story began in the mid-80’s when i was in Elementary school. I grew up a small rural farming town. We were on the map for cows and tobacco and thats it. Nothing else good ever came out of the town, myself included. So in elementary school my best friend parents started divorcing. She was in pain and needed to lash out but as a child had no idea her punishment of lashing out at me would lead me down a path that would follow me for years, even decades later.

My brother was a typical twenty something who had a predominant preference for porn both in movies and in print. My bf took some of his magazines and her master plan began. I was a rather naive child and didn’t even realize he had the things, myself. She brought them into our school and started to show people who than told a teacher. It is amazing the series of events that took place and how it was handled back then. Instead of quietly handling it while there were no children in the hall the teacher went ballistic while classes were changing, so every damn kid in the school was in the hallways at the time. Now you are thinking how did this effect me and not my friend since she had the material and I didn’t? She told everyone that she spoke to they were mine.... not my brothers..... not that she stole them.... but they were mine...

Not children don’t think for themselves at ten. The thought process was not while i was ten how the hell could I have porn? It was she had porn holy crap she is gay! Now this is the 80’s so this was not just some thing to be taken with lightly people for the most part are not accepting of differences. This is full on frontal assault territory where I got hit, tripped, spit on, yelled at, cussed at, pushed, and it seemed the whole world was against me. The funny things was I didn’t even know what the word lesbian was and here i was condemned for being one.

Everyone I knew, everyone I considered a friend, every person I grew up with turned on me, all because of this word.

It not only spread through the school like wildfire but through the town as well. Everyone, including adults, looked at me differently. Spoke to me as if I was trash. In my mothers infinite wisdom she simply said “don’t react and it will die down and people will forget it.”

That didn’t happen. It only got worse. The mental torment, the physical abuse, everything it only got worse. I wanted to die. Every night I wished for death to take me. I was ten. I lived and went through this basically at the major start for the movement for acceptance for the community. Every derogatory slur was thrown at me, I took beatings, I lived through the worst time to being homosexual and young and I didn’t even know what it meant. I took those words, I took those beatings and now I see the community for the most part IS accepted. It is safe to come out.

But it was only for a year not a lifetime right?

No it wasn’t for a year. It was eight. I left my small prejudice town when I was 18 because I knew I could never have a fresh start there. Regardless of everything I did or said I was still known as the gay one. I dated outside of the town but because of the age difference between my boyfriend and I we had little contact with people my own age, the people who needed to see the relationship for what it was. So if I said I had a boyfriend people assumed I was lying to cover up the fact I must have had a girlfriend. The longest eight years of my life. I took the brunt of the bigotry, prejudice, and hatred that some people even thanked me later in life because it made their coming out slightly easier.

That makes me smile now but at the time I hated everyone of them. Every single person I crossed paths with. I knew what was coming. So I lived the life for eight years being condemned for no reason at all. Does this shit happen today? Of course it does, people or society, doesn’t really ever change. You will always have some idiots who think they are better than you for what ever reason because they can’t accept differences.

Now as a person who lived the life during one of the worst times to be homosexual and didn’t have to because I am really not I have a special insight to the community. I also have a insight as a parent to a person in the community. I can tell you without a doubt the ones who screech the loudest “I am gay and I am proud” and that they do this because they are so oppressed I am telling you you can only do that because of people like me. You are not held down and beaten, you do not have gangs of people out to harm you, you might have a few religious zealots or some bigots tell you something that may hurt your feelings but you are NOT oppressed, at least in most of the western world. You may have to deal with cultural issues and racial issues to being homosexual but if your are in The western world YOU ARE ACCEPTED for the most part.

Well you have no idea what it is to be in the LGBTQ+ community now. Yes I do. Regardless of the fact I am not gay I am a card carrying member I EARNED that right to speak up on issues. I am now the parent of a few children that are members of the community as well. My best friend is gay and I love him and his husband for who they are. I still deal with issues indirectly now. My oldest daughter proudly came out to her own issues and I have to say I was nervous when she did, however the support not only from her peers but her teachers and other friends has been nothing but extraordinary. I took everything like I did so this could happen.

But cis people are always like “we don’t scream we are straight but they don’t understand what it is like to have to be told you can’t love who you want?” This has to be the most ridiculous thing I have heard from a 20 something person who is bisexual. When I spoke up to try to explain I was yelled at that I would never understand and that i was a homophobe. I chuckled and walked away shaking my head but the encounter never left my mind. At twenty something this person has lived in a time that it was accepted. I will never downplay a persons own emotions or their reactions therefore to get in a debate with people over their personal stories is pointless. As group there has never been a time where being different with your sexuality has been better. So to be able to scream “I am gay and you should accept me” all the time seems ridiculous to me, and pointless. Most people don’t care.

So the advice part of this talk.... stop being offended. People will feed off of this and continue to harass and belittle you but i assure you only a handful of people take it that far. (Unless cultural or racial differences are in effect)

Never be ashamed of your sexuality. It is a part of you but it doesn’t define who you are. You don’t have to scream it from the mountains. I would say that to anyone not just people in the community. We live in a time where we flaunt every part of ourselves on social media and every place we go. We don’t have too. Stop and think some times before you open the mouth. Again that is for every person you have no idea how something will come back years later and bite you on your ass.

People who try to tell you something are NOT your enemy. If they are trying to explain something it isn’t because they are trying to put you down or belittle you. 95% of the time they are trying to share some wisdom learned the hard way so YOU don’t ever have to go through the same thing.

I have lost younger friends because though I am probably one of the most open minded people on the planet they took my words as hateful because I didn’t bow down and take them constantly bombarding someone else because of a mishap with words. Shit doesn’t work out that way in real life and if you can’t see from another prospective that is YOUR problem not everyone else in the world.

Last but not least. If you want a world that is happy and free of hatred look at yourself hard. Go to the top of this post and reread it, see the questions I wrote? How would you a old white cis woman know? You stereotyped, I have heard this so many times. How dumb are conservatives? Liberals are idiots! How dumb are cis white males? White people are the devil! All muslims are terrorist! All jews are money hungry devils! Black people are animals!*** just throwing these out there not what I believe*** Every one of those is a stereotype type, a label, a word that without knowing the person is misleading and often wrong and hurtful. You want a world that is inclusive but yet you throw these words round as well. It’s time to think about things for all sides.

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the-real-anywolf · 7 years

Text

Choose Your Own Ending

Alright, so for shits and gigs Any and I started texting as Dean and Cas while I was crazy white girl wasted. And Any thought let's post it on our blog and get our readers to write the narrative of what happens next. So let's do this! Reblog this craziness with your narrative, and we’ll reblog it with the corresponding texts between Dean and Cas after your narrative. So on and so forth. No word length requirement or anything, let's choose your own ending this bitch!

Cas: Hello Dean, I heard you are drunk. Do you need assistance to get home to the bunker?

Dean: Nah cas man I'm still drinking but thanks fir pretty texting me.

You should vine drunk text with me?

Come not vine

Fuck you autocorrect you were supposed to have my back l!!

Cas: I'm confused. You want me to come or you want to text me while inebriated?

Dean: Lolol come drink with me cas!

I'm at a place called bam bam's im peeyyy sure it's a gay bar

Like all the couples are two dudes or two chicks

Why do people hate gay people I mean it doesn't make sense

Cas: Humans have always been inclined to fear what they don't understand. Other humans are brave though and decide to love instead of hate. The nice voice on my phone says I can be with you in thirty minutes.

Dean: You're the fucking best man I ever tell you that? The fucking best

Cas: Thank you, Dean. Although I'm not sure why you said that.

Dean: Cuz you deserve yo hear it cas I don't tell you enough

Oh man a guy asked my drunk ass to dance lol

Cas: What guy?

Dean: No idea some guy. Might have said yes if I wasn't there sheets to the fucking wind I don't think I could stand if I tried

Cas: I see. I thought you're only interested in women.

Dean: Supposed to be but can you keep a secret

Cas: Of course.

Dean: I think dudes are hot too I think about it sometimes

What it would be like to fuck a guy

Cas: Is that something you want to try at some point?

Dean: I don't know it scares me too

Cas: Why does it scare you?

Dean: Not supposed to

Cas: It sounds like you don't apply the same rules you have for others to yourself

Dean: Right? It's okay for others but I can't because you gotta be tough Dean. Big boys don't cry over scraping their goddamn knees. Quit your crying. You know who cries? Babies. Shut up Dean men are supposed to be men not girls.

After so many years of that cas I kinda hate that the bigoted words of a dead man still makes me a terrified child

Cas: But you aren't a child anymore, Dean. You are a man that makes his own decisions, has his own life. You are brave and strong and you saved the world a few times. You should do what feels right in your heart. You should do things that makes you happy because there is no one in the world, who I believe, deserves it more than you do, Dean.

Dean: I deserve to get my sick sucked by a blue eyed twink? lol Dick not sick lol

Cas: I only understood half of that, but sure – you should do whatever makes you happy.

What is a twink?

Dean: I was laughing that you casicslly implied that I deserve to have sex with a dude

A twink is a like younger dude, smaller frame, at least if you go by queer as folk

Don't tell Sammy I've watched it

Cas: Of course I won't tell him. So you like men who are smaller than you with blue eyes?

Dean: Maybe

Cas: What else do you find attractive?

Dean: I like nice lips

Cas: Aren't all lips nice?

Dean: Nah man some are like thin and not soft

Nice lips means better kissers usually

You have nice lips You probably are really good at kissing

Cas: I don't know. I lack the experience. But thank you.

I think you have nice lips, too.

Dean: Some people are naturally good at it

And thanks. Been told a time or two I know my way around a French kiss

Cas: How can a kiss be french?

Dean: Lolol sometimes I forget you're an angel

It's when you use you tongue when you kiss

Cas: I wasn't aware there was an expression for that. Kissing is nice.

Dean: Right? I mean if I had to choose between kissing and sex I'd seriously contemplate it for a minute before choosing sex lolol

Cas: Good that you never have to choose. You can always have both. I would like to experience that again.

Preferably without being tortured and stabbed to death afterwards.

Dean: Fuck man yeah sex is supposed to not end in death usually

You haven't fucked anyone since that bitch?

Cas: No. To be honest I lost interest in it after that experience.

Dean: I'm not surprised but I promise normal sex ends good usually

Cas: I'm not good at this, getting to know people. And I don't want to do it with someone I don't know. And since I'm not human. It's not ideal.

Dean: I get that. Anyone you do actually know you want to do it with?

Cas: Yes. But that person isn't an option.

Dean: Why not?

Cas: Because I don't want to do anything that could risk the friendship I have with that person. I can't lose them. It's not an option.

Dean: I get that man, sex fucks shit up

That's why I don't fuck people I actually care about

Not anymore

Cas: It's probably a wise decision. It would make it so much worse to lose that person, once you would know how nice it is to be with them. So now you see why I can't have sexual intercourse with anyone. I don't want to do it with someone I don't know. But I'm also not brave enough to do it with someone I have feelings for.

Dean: Man that's fucked cas but I get it

I had a sex dream about you once

Fuck man I must be drunk telling you shit like that

Sorry ignore me

How far out are you now

Cas: Ten minutes. Don't worry, Dean. I'm aware that dreams are nothing humans have control over. I know it doesn't mean anything.

Dean: I've thought about it but like I said, I care about you so no sex for us

Which sucks cuz I bet you're fucking good in the sack too

Fuck tell me to stop texting you

Cas: Does that mean you would have sex with me if you didn't care about me?

Dean: Weird huh? Maybe if I ever got the balls to pick up a guy? If you and I didn't know each other, yeah. I'd probably hit on you

Cas: I would have let you.

Dean: You said you wouldn't bang someone you don't know lol

Cas: If you and I didn't know each other, I'm sure I would be a different person today. And you were always the only person who I would make an exception for.

Dean: Would work wouldn't it? You could get laid with me since you won't hook up with who you have a thing for. I'd get to see if I even like it. Too bad we're friends huh?

Cas: Yes. It's too bad. Five minutes.

Dean: Well if you ever change your mind

Fuck it right?

You only live once? Well, more than that for us

Cas: I thought you wouldn't have sex with someone you cared for?

Dean: I shouldn't Doesn't mean I don't want to

Cas: I understand that feeling more than you think. But Dean, you're not an option for me.

Dean: Yeah I am! You know me!

Cas: Yes, I do. But listen to me, Dean. You are not an option.

Dean: Sorry man I'm assuming you'd find me attractive you probably don't lol

Cas: You're infuriatingly dense when you're inebriated.

Don't make me say it, Dean.

Dean: Why you scared cas? Am I the person you don't want to lose friendship to

Cas: Yes.

Dean: If we just had sex who's to say we'd stop being friends

We kept it casual then there'd be no loss of friendship

Cas: It wouldn't be casual for me.

Dean: Alright then

Cas: I'm sorry. I never wanted to tell you this.

Dean: It's fine cas. I don't get it but it's fine

Cas: I have feelings for you.

Dean: No I mean I got that. I don't get why you do

Cas: You really have to ask, after everything we've been through together? After everything you've done for me? After all the times you saved me, opened my eyes, taught me how to live?

Dean: Cas I'm the worst person you could develop feelings for

For all those good things I've done just as many bad things

Cas: Dean, I can't change the way I feel and no matter how you see yourself and how much guilt you carry on your shoulders, it won't change the way I see you. I'm in the parking lot. I hope you still want me as your friend, knowing this. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable. I'm not expecting anything. I never did.

Dean: You're my best friend that won't ever change. Get your ass in here and let's drink till we can't feel feelings anymore

Cas: I’ll be there in a minute.

Dean: I'm at the bar.

(Five minutes later)

Dean: Cas you bailing?

Cas: I don’t know. I can’t seem to leave the car.

Dean: I'm not gonna bite you

Cas: I’m not afraid of you biting me, Dean.

Dean: What are you scared of then?

Cas: I’m not sure. Mostly of myself. It’s hard to explain.

Dean: Want me to come to you?

Cas: I’m indecisive. Talking like this is somehow easier.

Dean: Right? I'm way more honest in texts And when I'm ducked up

Cas: I’m afraid when I see you now that I would do something stupid.

Dean: That's what alcohols for Let's not think about that shit

Come have a shot with me and I'll dare you to buy a drink for someone and you'll just do it to shut me up but then you'll laugh and take more shots

Cas: My grace isn’t at its best at the moment. I could get intoxicated, too.

Dean: Hell yeah even better

Let's get stupid and then you'll not feel as weird about telling me

You're a hilarious drunk

Cas: What if I try to kiss you? People do stupid things when they are intoxicated.

Dean: You've never tried to kiss me before. And fuck it if you do

Cas: I intended to drive you home. I can’t do that when I’m inebriated, too. How would we get home?

Dean: There's a motel a block over well just grab a room for the night. Get your ass in here

Cas: Alright.

#fanifiction #fun #interactive #destiel

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knightofbalance-13 · 7 years

Text

https://thefairywzard.tumblr.com/post/163494894168/rwde-circus-drama-with-kob-part-1-the-first-shade

Now I could go through this whole thing and explain in detail why this is wrong but this is an example of the Gish Gallup fallacy so let me run through this quick and show you why it’s so stupid:

People of the rwde tag! You might have noticed a post recently, written by yours truly, about the lack of body diversity in our all-time favourite show RWBY: The Life and Times of Jaune Arc.

Playing to RWDE tag bias.

Predictably, our esteemed rwde troll and official laughing stock of the entire tag, KoB, decided to reply to my post and I think weâ€™ve all had enough experience dealing with him by now to know where this led. I read over KoBâ€™sâ€¦ words and after bleaching my eyes with silt, I sat down to think about what I should do in response, if anything at all.

Ad Homenin

The Responsibleâ„¢ and Adultâ„¢ thing would be to simply ignore his incomprehensible drivel and move on, possibly block him and maybe set up some salt circles for good measure. After all, usually the best thing to do when dealing with trolls is to keep them at armâ€™s length and try to not provoke them too much. That is the smart and sensible thing to do. That is how you avoid conflict with assholes online.

Refering to me as a demon

Ah, another day another troll on my posts. You know kob, I knew that eventually youâ€™d pull something like this. I knew that after I was done eating my strips of rotten boar meat while sipping a 1945 La Pinot Noir that I would log on to tumblr dot com and see your small, sad little avatar in my notifications tab. And I would sigh and roll my tired eyes in contempt of pretty much your entire internet presence as far as rwby is concerned, before moving on to reading your long-winded, contradictory and dumb dumb arguments, all lined up in this neat little pile of poo that the FNDM calls â€œkobâ€™s post historyâ€. And then I would sigh again, questioning the meaning of life while enjoying a bowl of branflake cereal with chocolate chips and cinnamon.

Pseudo intellectualism

Believe it or not kob, it took some time to decide whether or not I should reply to the inane, animalistic screeches that you call counterarguments, but ultimately I decided this was too good an opportunity to miss on dragging yo ass. Obviously a confrontation is exactly what a slimy troll like you wants and technically I am enabling you and your ~predispositions~ by writing this, though I think the feeling of self-satisfaction Iâ€™ll get by talking shit to your face will be more than worth it. I should think most of the rwde tag has an extended knowledge of you and your interactions with the FNDM and most of us probably agree that youâ€™re a trolling asshole, a ding dong and potentially Literally Satanâ„¢.

Ad Homien on par with early Catholic Church.

I will admit that volume 4 did shave off some muscle from our beloved lotus boy of suppressed emotions, but they have by no means added those to Ms Valkyrie.

Outright defeating own point and contradiction (Jaune and Nora have similarly sized arms. Look for yourself.)

Now Iâ€™m not gonna get into the teachers yet, because Iâ€™m genuinely curious as to what you meant when you commented on yangâ€™s beefiness. I should like to think that these images make it pretty clear, even to someone as stubborn and as opinionated as you kob. Yang has no muscle. Never did. That sound you just heard was everyone in the rwde tag simultaneously whispering the words â€œoh snapâ€.

More outright contradictions and Ad Homenin. (yang’s official art shows the same arm type as Nora and jaune as oppose to Ren or Weiss)

Next up is the FNDMs favourite faunus of the hour, Blake Belladona. You will, once again, note the absence of muscles in her extremities. Gee itâ€™s almost as if these characters all have the same body types, what a surprise. But by all means, keep insisting that Weiss is the slender one.

Not understanding what Atheletic means (Looks at Olympic swimmers: Ain’t no muscles there.)

What you donâ€™t seem to understand kob is that not everyone sees the world under your fucked up, weird, distorted lens. Honestly what to begin with here? The unrelated comparisons? The blatant way you contradict yourself with the opening sentence? â€œOh look at me Iâ€™m the infamous kob and I spend my days hating on people for making valid, critical points on shows I watch. RWBY doesnâ€™t have a body problem because I say so, these characters are totally muscly and RT doesnâ€™t want muscly women in their shows anyway so thatâ€™s why there are none after all, this doesnâ€™t matter and no one caresâ€. Really now kob, if youâ€™re going to try and delegitimize the issues I cite, you could at least do a better job at it.

In any case, I donâ€™t especially remember CRWBY making public statements explaining in lengthy details why body diversity is their personal kryptonite and thatâ€™s why thereâ€™s none of it in the show. But then again Iâ€™m not as dedicated a fan as you have proven yourself to be, so maybe I missed that enlightening interview with the crew. I also donâ€™t understand what made you bring Kill La Kill into this -as I would charitably call it- discussion, when that show is a clear deconstruction of rampant objectification in anime. Itâ€™s satire kob. Itâ€™s making fun of the dumb sexist tropes people see in shows so very often.

To be perfectly fucking candid kob, your determination to undermine my arguments by claiming that representation is â€œnot a serious concern at allâ€ is actually rather cute. Like a bigoted puppy furiously chewing on a couch. Indeed this vehement passion of yours is so strong that Iâ€™m beginning to suspect you get an intense hateboner whenever the rwde tag updates and this is your only method of release.

Not addressing the point. Also: unrelated comparisons. Monty Oum stated that Gurren Lagann was an inspiration on RWBY and watched Kill La Kill. So in fact, I am comparing anime that have influenced RWBY.

As well: Not saying WHY body diversity would be an improvement.

Third; Misrepresntinga show (Kill La Kill outright says you shouldn’t care about what other people think. Remmeber Satsuki’s speech in Episode 3? Yeah, apparently you forgot to watch the other 23 episodes of the show.)

Fourth: Misrepresenting my argument (they don’t want to do it because they haven’t already done it, not through an interview.)

Fifith: projection.

Gosh what an interesting peephole we have here of kobâ€™s mental inner workings. I never would have associated plus-sized people with Santa Claus, but I suppose thatâ€™s what happens if the content you consume is constantly deprived of diversity. Donâ€™t worry kob, itâ€™s not your fault that most media is monochromatic in more ways than one (but feverishly defending those that are kind of is). If you want to know why itâ€™s important to have representation of all sorts in shows and other media, then I suggest you google that and find out for yourself.

Inserting words into my mouth.

Oh yes, beware the SJWs. They creep in your homes and hide in your cupboards. Theyâ€™ll wait until youâ€™re not paying attention and then pounce on you with anger and fury and a slight hint of sexual arousal. And as they suck your warm, viscous blood, theyâ€™ll start babbling about wanting fair representation in the media for marginalized groups of people and how the way to achieve that is to hold popular shows to a higher standard of diversity. I havenâ€™t even gotten to the bit where they talk about queerness in media, THATâ€™S when shit getâ€™s blood-curdlingly scary.

More projection.

See, this final â€œdammingâ€ ending statement brings me some discomfort; because I have to, for once, agree with kob. Having more diversity of body types (or any types for that matter) be present in a successful show will encourage other shows to follow suit. Itâ€™s like this thing, oh whatâ€™s it called, oh yeah progress. So youâ€™re right on that at least. Now if you think diversity will add â€œnothing to the showâ€ I would suggest that you a) educate yourself on the benefits of diversity and representation in media because thatâ€™s clearly an area you are sorely lacking in and b) go fuck yourself.

More Aad Hominin and misrepresenting what I said (I was referring to the fact that you would shoehorn in fat characters for the sake of brownie points instead of, you know, having well written fat people) and projection (thinking I’m skinny.)

I honestly donâ€™t know how to explain to you that not everyone is like you and not everyone can binge the TV channels and see someone exactly like them represented in a randomly-selected show.

Assumptions (i didn’t know there was fat, balding, autistic 19 year olds with no dads. yeah, I’m fat too so most of your argument in that part is invalid, blading people are treated as a joke and the number of intentional written Autistic characters can be counted with only hands. And the number of WELL WRITTEN Autistic characters can be count on my hand if I chopped off seven fingers.)

Someone who isn’t constantly treated as a joke, or insulted within the show, or is nothing but a stereotype, or is pushed aside so that other characters can take the stage. If you can’t fit that concept into that head of yours because the slimy, fanged eel of hate inside is taking too much space, then the only thing for me left to do is to sincerely, wholeheartedly tell you to go fuck yourself with as much virility as you can muster.

you mean like how fat people are portrayed as lazy, balding men are treated as aging ad desperate and ugly, how writers cannot diffiate between “Autism” and “brain damage”, how men are always seen in the wrong in arguments and seen as being dumb, animalistic, lazy and wimpy whereas the women are treated as can do no wrong, wise, perfect people? because I do: But that;s the artist’s descision and they deserve to do what they want with their works: there is nothing wrong with that.

And now you can see why I didn’t go through and go in depth as to why this person is wrong: It’s blatant and obvious. But don’t take my word for it: see the train wreck for yourself.

#rwde bullshit #the-fairy-wizard

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